#it's REALLY hard for me to pick a favorite so this was just my arbitrary pick of like

[omegalomania]

So Much (For) Stardust 10 Day Countdown Challenge ↳ March 17th: Favorite Lyric | Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

General l lawiet x reader?

𝕀 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕟 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕪 𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕟…

ℂ𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕘𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕠 @𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕤-𝕟-𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖! 𝔾𝕠 𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕚𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜!!

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘!!

General L Lawliet relationship headcanons

Ok, first off it will take a very very long time before L even considers acknowledging any feelings he may have for you

I'm talking 3+ years

He is very distrusting of people, and wants to know that you won't put him or Watari in any danger

Once he does finally decide he trusts you enough, that's when his emotions begin to shine through

His biggest thing is staring, he will stare for hours on end, processing your behaviors, learning about you, etc

Something about his gaze is different too

His brows furrow in an almost worried way, as if it scares him that he can't logic his way out of his feelings for you

Confession is blunt with him (I hc him to be autistic, so tone isn't really a thing with him)

You'll notice that he hasn't done any work, which is very worrying considering who he is

So you turn your chair to look at him "Hey, are you ok? You seem kind of out of it"

"Yes, I'm just a bit frustrated is all" He says, staring up at the ceiling with his thumb between his lips

"About what?"

He takes a deep breath "Well, whilst getting to know you, I've come to realize that I have romantic feelings for you. This is troubling for me, as I do not have the time for anything as arbitrary as relationships. However, dwelling on these emotions aren't helping either, as it seems to take over my whole head space, making working almost impossible....The best course of action would be to confess my feelings, but problems will arise no matter what your answer to my confession is"

He finishes his rant and looks over at you blankly "Don't look so shocked. I still haven't decided whether I'm going to ask you or not"

You feel your face heat up and you quickly avert your gaze from his "right.."

A few minutes go by before you hear him speak again "Y/n?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

"Will you be my partner?"

Once you are actually in a relationship with him, it takes him a while to get adjusted

He often forgets that he can be lovey dovey with you, or even that he should be

This being said, you'll have to initiate your first kiss

Communication is key with L, and while he is good at picking up on subtle hints, he prefers you to be direct with him

He's also rather shy when it comes to romantic things, so you being direct helps him feel more comfortable consenting

"May I kiss you?" You ask him one night, sitting comfortably on a hotel bed

He looks up from his laptop, placing his thumb on his lip, thinking long and hard about his decision

"Yes" He finally says, getting up and sitting on the bed, awaiting your kiss

The moment your lips touch his, he freaks out a little

It's all so new and overwhelming, but in a good way

He pulls away very fast, making you worry you did something to upset him

That same lovesick gaze creeps back onto his face, before asking for you to do it again

Once he gets used to it, he finds that he actually really likes kisses!

Kisses are one of the few physical things that he is fine doing whenever, wherever

His favorite spots to be kissed are on his forehead and cheeks, and he likes to kiss you on your nose and hands

Other than that, physical touch isn't much of a thing

If you wanted to cuddle, or if you wanted to hold his hand, he'd be up for it

He just won't seek those things out himself

He prefers small physical gestures, because they're easier and less overwhelming for him

He does things such as tug at the bottom of your shirt if he wants you to pay attention to him, lay on your shoulder, and smelling your clothes

Not in a weird perv way (although he very much is one of those

SPEAKING OF HIM BEING A PERV

Jfc someone come get this man

He seldom does anything touchy feely, but good god can this man stare

Stares at your butt as you walk to go get another cup of water, a barely visible grin coming to grace his face

Looking at your chest (doesnt matter if you're amab or afab) if you have a low hanging shirt that day

And when he does get touchy feely, it's in a more studious way if that makes sense

Like rubbing and squeezing your thighs just to see them jiggle, or running his fingers across your skin and smiling when he sees goosebumps show

As mentioned before, he doesn't like cuddling, but he loooves being in your general space

For example, he'll come sit next to you while you work, reading over all of your previously done tasks

Or if you go to brush your teeth, he'll go stand with you and put his face into your neck

When you can't be with him for whatever reason, he isn't above wearing your hoodies

He likes to wear them for the smell for the most part, but he also likes to wrap up in them like a little caterpillar and pretend he's metamorphosizing

His love language vibe is "sleepy"

Do with that what you will

[sidewalk-scrawls]

Hello, please may you recommend five of your favourite albums to me, as I am still recovering from my dark era of "just outsource it, get someone else to pick the music" of the last thirty yrs and I wish to learn :)

I haven't been as active about seeking out music these days, but I really want to start doing it again! I used to be *very* good at it, so if you'd like tips, happy to share!!!

In terms of my five favorite albums... These are a little arbitrary because I have too many, but I decided to focus on albums that I consider to be really strong from beginning to end. So, in no particular order:

Draw Down the Moon by Foxing: Foxing is Midwest emo-adjacent, so this one speaks to my nostalgia a bit. It's a gorgeous album in the post-rock vein, so it's got a lot of really lovely texture. Also features the culmination of nearly 10 year long recurring albatross imagery which absolutely demolished me the first time I heard it.

The Million Masks of God by Manchester Orchestra: Manchester Orchestra has been around for like 20 years now, and it's been really fun to watch their music change over time. As a post rock lover, this is my favorite album by them (the album is not really post rock, but listen, it's post rock adjacent.)

Historian by Lucy Dacus: A beautiful album with some real gut punches of songs. Lucy Dacus is frequently associated with Phoebe Bridgers and Julien Baker (they all make up the band boygenius), but tbh I don't find her style all that similar to theirs -- She has a much more energetic approach to melody as well as instrumentation in general, and lyrically, she's a lot more hopeful.

Crushing by Julia Jacklin: Severely underrated imo! Singer/songwriter with some indie pop and folk influences. If you like Historian, you'll probably like this album, too.

The Winter of Mixed Drinks by Frightened Rabbit: A weirdly hopeful album about overcoming depression that rewired my brain in college. I find this one kind of hard to listen to these days (the leader singer killed himself back in 2018, god it's been 6 years--), but it's gotten easier. It's a good fucking album!

Bonus: Because Some Things Cannot Happen Enough by Tomasz Bednarczyk. I intentionally left instrumental albums out of the above list because they take up a very different space in my brain but like... holy shit it's such a good instrumental album. The textures.... Pop on a good pair of headphones for this one if you can.

[beatcroc]

please for the character asks could you tell me abt 4, 5, & 24 for fake pep my friend fake pep. if im allowed to ask multiple (if not just pick your favorite eheh)

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

ah, this is a bad one for me... i'm really not much for crossovers except for really dumb arbitrary shit like 'oh these characters have the same kinda concept/aesthetic similarity'.... fp is a particularly hard one to separate from his canon bc of the very specific processes that brought him into being, and also that he's a clone of a different guy in said canon on top of that. if anything i'd just say the obligatory 'give that boy a pokemon team'. i dont have a pokemon team for fp and i can't be assed to think of one, but it's a fun one to see when it comes up yknow.

5 i already answered on the previous one lol

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

fp is a very unique character to me so i'm cheesing out on this one and going with an oc instead lmao. he shares a lot with my girl magnolia!

they are both fucked up and [more or less] indestructible beasts made of unnatural gunk, where they're effectively the only thing of their kind and no one really gets how they like, work, so their companion is continually in the process of discovering new weird shit they do; and also the both have every right to be [& frequently are] terrifying to people who don't know/understand them but actually they are just the biggest sweethearts. also, autism metaphors out the wazoo.

there is actually quite a lot about fake pep's characterization that i've lifted directly from magnolia, haha. i think the biggest things are that 1. while fully sapient and mature, he tends to come off as dumb or childish simply because until very recently he wasn't able to learn shit or fuck about how the regular world & everyday life works [which does not come naturally on account of being a weird gunk beast], and 2. his having a lot of anxiety about hurting people from not knowing his own strength/abilities in relation to other people's boundaries and limitations. [though fp will at least stand up for himself if it comes to it, magnolia is kind of a total pushover] there's smaller flavor stuff too--it hasn't come up yet, but there's a thing with his speech where names and proper nouns are the only things that don't get garbled. it'll show up in the gerome comic, whenever i get to that :y

[nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather]

What's your favorite and least favorite thing about each main character on BTVS and Angel?

I can really only answer this for BTVS. I have seen Angel, but not recently, and it just doesn't resonate with me the way BTVS does. Turns out, when there's no Buffy, I don't care.

Buffy:

I love so much about Buffy Summers that it's hard to pick a true favorite trait. I'm going to go with her intelligence because it's so often overlooked even though, in many ways, she's the smartest character on the show-- and the one who actually uses her brain when everyone around her is being utterly irrational and falling for every trick in the manipulative villain handbook.

My least favorite thing about her, by far, is what a doormat she can be sometimes. It's so frustrating watching her take so much shit from her friends and family and forget her own strength over and over.

Giles:

This is difficult to articulate, but I like that Giles chooses to be one of the good guys despite clearly having the capacity not to be, and how his own moral grayness gives him an understanding of the nuances of human nature that the others lack.

My least favorite thing about Giles is his emotional cowardice and immaturity. He does so many harmful and downright stupid things trying to run from his feelings. He never quite learns to put on his big boy pants and deal with his issues, and his being decades older than the rest of the cast makes it really glaring.

Willow:

I love it when Willow cuts down to the core of a situation and exposes everybody's bullshit. Her rant to Giles and Angel in Reptile Boy, reading Faith for filth in Choices, and shutting Parker down in Beer Bad are some of my favorite moments with her.

My least favorite thing about her is that she's actually incredibly self-centered and entitled a lot of the time. She expects the world to stop for her when she's in pain and when she thinks she's right, she's not interested in what anyone else has to say or silly things like basic human rights and autonomy.

Xander:

His bravery. Despite having no powers and no particular skill set, he ends up accomplishing some pretty impressive things through sheer balls and determination, and it's hard not to respect that. Trust me, I've tried.

My least favorite thing about him is almost everything else about him, but I guess that's kind of cheating. If I had to sum it up into one trait, I think I'd say it's his blatant hypocrisy that bothers me the absolute most. He doesn't even try to live up to the standards he sets for other people.

From here on out, my take on who is and who isn't a main character is going to be pretty arbitrary. For instance, I'm not including Tara, even though I adore her, because I couldn't think of anything bad to say about her and that probably means she wasn't fleshed out enough to be a true main character. If I skip a character you wanted my opinion on, I'm always open to more Buffy asks!

Dawn:

Her loyalty. My girl does not mess around when you mess with the people she cares about, and she doesn't play that 'don't take sides' crap. If you hurt someone she loves, you're going to hear about it. I know, I know, Empty Places, but she was clearly being manipulated there and if you look at her behavior overall, she's absolutely a ride or die and I love it.

Her expectations, especially of Buffy, are extremely unreasonable sometimes and it causes a lot of misery all around. I don't count it against her too much because it's a pretty normal teenager thing, but if there was one thing I could change about her, it would probably be that.

Angel:

His insight. He's very good at channeling his own emotional turmoil and self-loathing into understanding others-- usually Buffy, but not always.

His martyr complex and constant self-sabotage are super annoying. Though I love him, I do totally understand people who can't deal with his Man Pain.

Spike:

Devotion. I have all sorts of problems with him but he does have a capacity for sacrificial love that transcends all else-- including soullessness and demonic influence.

And my least favorite thing about him is really just the flip side of that same trait. He's simultaneously creepily obsessive and eye-rollingly sentimental and dramatic.

Thanks for the ask!

[notebookmusical]

hi cossette! i hope you had an enchanted weekend 💜 if it’s alright, i’d like to ask you for some advice: what are some tips for breaking out of a reading slump? i want to read but it’s like i can’t convince my brain to do it 💔 thank you in advance!

hi sweet friend!! you're always welcome to ask me anything 🧸 i hope you had a magical weekend too!! 🤍

i want to preface this with saying that reading is supposed to be a hobby, it's supposed to be something fun for you! if you're not having fun with it at the moment, it's okay to not read for as long as you want/need to and do other things instead! there's no pressure at all; whatever reading goals you set at the beginning of the year are really inconsequential, at the end of the day. the last couple of months, i was pushing myself to read ~ 20 books a month, for no reason at all. last month, i read 25 books because i asked my friend to pick a number between 1 and 25, and they picked 23, and i decided i had to beat that number anyways. it is all very silly, and i am also very aware of how silly this all is as i'm typing this out to you! no one cares how many books i read! i don't care how many books i read either! none of this matters if i'm not enjoying it! this month, i decided to just read what i felt like reading without trying to reach an arbitrary goal, and as silly as that sounds, it really helped me. i'm giving you permission to read 0 books this month or to read 1 book this month if that is what you need 🤍 my friends are really good at reminding me that reading is a hobby and giving me permission to not read as much as i feel like i need to and to take breaks, so i figured i'd remind you of that too!

anyways, in terms of reading slumps: it might be helpful if you can identify the cause of your reading slump — are you just not feeling your current read(s)? are you having a "book hangover" from your last book? was your last read that good (or that awful)? is there other stuff going on that's making it hard to focus on reading? are you just burnt out from reading? for me, i usually get into reading slumps because i've either been just reading for content creating/reading ARCs/gifted reads/etc and not books i actually want to read, because i've just been reading too much, because i really don't like a recent read, or because i've been reading too much of a specific genre (usually fantasy).

some things that help me with getting out of reading slumps are changing genres (for example: i got fantasy'ed out earlier this year because i was trying to read a high fantasy book and then just 180'ed and did not touch anything high fantasy for months), rereading an old favorite (there's less pressure, you already know what happens, you know you love it, it's comforting), buddy reading (this one sometimes works — it has to be a pretty low stakes buddy read so you don't feel bad for backing out if you really aren't feeling that book, but sometimes i find it helpful to be able to discuss a book with someone), or listening to an audiobook! i've found that i really enjoy listening to audiobooks when i'm doing other things (cleaning, walking my dog, playing on my switch, giffing, etc.), and i've had friends tell me that listening to an audiobook while doing something else (like playing an idle game on their phone) has tricked their brain back into reading! a change of scenery might also help too — i usually read in bed before i sleep, but tonight, i ended up sitting in my chair next to toto and reading instead! putting electronics away while i read is something that i also find helpful if i'm slumping hard (less distractions).

one of my friends mentioned this tip a while back and i can't remember what it's called exactly (something about 50 pages?), but essentially, you put a bookmark/post it note/etc. after 50 pages (or whatever number of pages you want to get through) — sometimes having a physical marker helps! i've been doing this with les misérables, and it's made annotating the book a lot less daunting (even though i've read it before).

if i'm really trying to get through an ARC, and struggling, sometimes i'll text a friend and say "i want to be done with [X] pages/ i want to have finished [ X ] chapters" by a certain time and have them check in! having an accountability buddy does help for me (hence why buddy reads also sometimes work to get me out of a slump!).

the other thing i'll try if i'm really struggling is i'll pick a low-stakes book, or a hate read (but in an entertaining way). sometimes a hate read kickstarts me back into reading. going into a book knowing that i will probably not like it (for example, if it has a trope i don't like) takes the pressure off of liking it and sometimes i end up being pleasantly surprised by how much i enjoyed it!

this ask got so long, and i apologize!! i hope you get out of your reading slump soon 🤍 i'm always here if you want to chat, if you want book recs, or if you want to buddy read or anything 🤍

[snaptrappressabandonedblog]

FCBD 2024 Haul Review

It's Free Comic Book Day yet again! I was actually pretty excited for this one, as for the first time in a good couple of years I was able to go out to a few stores with my partner and one of my best friends. I've been wanting to use this space as an actual blog a lot more, so I figured this might be fun to do. I'm gonna go through my stack of free stuff and give some thoughts on each of these! I'll also be giving totally arbitrary ratings, basically to indicate whether or not I would be interested in picking up more of these series.

UNICO AWAKENING (Scholastic) 7/10 Samuel Sattin and Gurihiru, based on the original manga by Osamu Tezuka

So, I've always wanted to get into Tezuka's work as a big Astro Boy fan, but I find it kind of hard to engage with a lot of the time in the same way that golden age American comics are. The dialogue feels kind of clunky when translated to english, and there are a lot of moments of... unsavory themes and ideas, to say the least. I'd never read or even heard of Unico, but you can tell just from the cover that it's a Tezuka creation. That all said, I thought this preview of the upcoming graphic novel was really charming! The story is really simple but engaging, and Gurihiru's art is just absolutely adorable. If I see it at a bookstore or my LCS, I just might pick this one up. If you've got a young kid who's into fantasy or things like My Little Pony, give this one a try.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (IDW Publishing) 9/10 Various, anthology

I'm a pretty big fan of the IDW TMNT series, but I kind of fell off of it a ways before #100, so I'm about 65 issues behind. I was interested to see what the series would do with its post-issue 150 relaunch, which is apparently set in the same continuity but begins a new story to get new readers interested and re-engage old readers. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I was really excited when I saw Nightwatcher on the cover! I love the 2007 TMNT movie, and I think Raphael being a lone vigilante with a superhero name and armor is a cool concept in itself, so I was pumped to see the character return in a new piece of media. The first story in this one-shot, which is a short preview of the upcoming Nightwatcher solo book, was really really good. I really enjoyed the art, which felt painterly and solid in a way that not a lot of TMNT stuff is (to the point that the colors reminded me a lot of Mouse Guard) and the writing was really cool. I love the narration about the concept of the "other," and the tone and themes felt really compelling in the current political atmosphere. The second story, Splinter's Day Off, was not quite as engaging but still really enjoyable. The story was really cute, and I've been a fan of Andy Kuhn's art since he first worked on the IDW Turtles books. Overall, a pretty good pickup! Got me very interested in seeing what the next chapter of IDW Turtles will look like. ENERGON UNIVERSE 2024 SPECIAL (Image Comics/Skybound) 7/10 Daniel Warren Johnson, Ryan Ottley, Robert Kirkman, Lorenzo De Felici, Joshua Williamson, and Jason Howard

I've been keeping up with the Energon Universe Transformers comic since its launch, and as someone who could not care less about G1 Transformers, I absolutely adore it. Daniel Warren Johnson is a modern master of comics action, and each issue is more engaging than the last. That said, I haven't read any of the other stuff set in this new universe. Void Rivals doesn't look all that interesting (although I read two issues because I heard Jetfire appears in it), and I'm under the age of 45 so I'm completely incapable of caring about GI Joe in any capacity. Now that the intro is out of the way, I really liked the Transformers part of this. Ryan Ottley is one of my favorite artists in the industry, and his work is great here as always, but I can't help but feel he's trying to imitate Johnson's style and it's kind of holding him back. The way he draws the mouths of the Cybertronian characters is really weird, and sometimes the lines feel a bit too stiff and scratchy. The story was engaging, though, and beyond those critiques, this is truly fantastic Transformers art. The cover is also absolutely spectacular. The art in the other two stories is great too, but seeing as I don't know anything about the ongoing story of either series, this really didn't hook me in beyond an appearance by Hot Rod in the Void Rivals section. Remember, folks: If you have strongly-held opinions about G1 Transformers or GI Joe, it's about time you got your regular colonoscopy.

ABSOLUTE POWER SPECIAL EDITION (DC Comics) 3/10 Mark Waid and Mikel Janin

I gotta be honest, my eyes completely glazed over trying to read this. I just absolutely cannot give a shit about DC's big event comics anymore. This was basically white noise in printed form. The character of Failsafe is kinda neat, I like the Zur-En-Arrh Batman stuff, but all of this bullshit technobabble was just completely indecipherable to me. That said, the art was very, very good in both of the little preview stories here. I'm sure the comic itself will be written well, but I cannot bring myself to care about the fate of the DC universe. The advertisement for season 2 of My Adventures with Superman on the back cover was more exciting.

ASTERIX (Papercutz) 6/10 R. Goscinny and A. Uderzo

Asterix is just one of those things that, as an American, I have never been exposed to in any capacity, and to be honest, it never really interested me like other European comics like Valerian or Tintin did. It kind of just struck me as newspaper comics-style fun, and I can now confirm that I was right! The cartooning here is really great, the illustrations are super lively and engaging and the character designs themselves are instantly iconic. Like I said, I've never read Asterix before, but that design is so distinct that I already knew WHO Asterix is. The writing here is not really for me. It's probably just a matter of humor written originally in French not really crossing language and cultural borders seamlessly, and this also seems to be aimed at a younger crowd, which is totally fine! It's just not really for me. I did think the detail of the Greeks speaking in that Greek diner menu font was very cute. I'm always a sucker for a good lettering gag.

ARCHIE HORROR PRESENTS: THE CURSED LIBRARY PRELUDE (Archie Comics) 6/10 Various

I was a huge reader of Archie's Sonic the Hedgehog comics, to the point that I'd say they were more formative to my tastes as both a reader and creator of comics than almost anything else, but I've never really been interested enough in the world and characters of Archie proper to follow along with the comics consistently, though I've always had it in my periphery. I'd get the digests at the grocery store as a kid, I've got some old issues that my parents gave me, and I remember my sister being really into the Archie Marries Betty/Veronica comics when those were ongoing. After the reboot of all the Archie universe comics in the mid-2010s, I fell off completely. Riverdale didn't interest me at all, that Sabrina show on Netflix wasn't my bag, and the comics (besides Archie vs. Predator) were a complete blindspot to me for the years following that reboot. Archie's weird scramble for an identity as both a slice-of-life series and an unrelated horror series has been interesting to watch, though, especially knowing the history of the brand as the most squeaky-clean comics in America. Honestly though, the horror stuff just does absolutely nothing for me. Afterlife with Archie was kinda fun very briefly, but nothing else has really worked for me. This one-shot preview was interesting conceptually, but I feel like I'm missing too much setup to really get engaged by this, and it doesn't make me want to find out what I'm missing. The art is all very good though, and the writing is totally fine for what it is.

BARDA (DC Comics) 8/10 Ngozi Ukazu

Big Barda and Mister Miracle (Scott Free) are two of my absolute favorite DC characters, and Jack Kirby's Fourth World saga is among my favorite stories and concepts in comics ever. I love everything that Fourth World is, and almost everything that came out in the wake of it. I feel like if you want to make a new, good Fourth World story, you need to have either a really solid grasp on Kirby's ideas and aesthetics, or something totally new and unique to call your own while using the world and ideas as a springboard. This preview of the upcoming YA Barda Graphic Novel strikes me as the second of those two things more than the first. It's not trying to look exactly like Kirby's original designs, but it evokes the spirit of the thing well enough that I wasn't confused who anyone was. The art is adorably charming, and the story looks neat: A look at the meeting of Scott Free and Barda and the relationship that blooms out of that. I think this could turn out really fun and cute! I look forward to the graphic novel itself, which releases this summer.

BLOOD HUNT (Marvel Comics) 4/10 Jed McKay, Sara Pichelli, Federico Blee

Much like Absolute Power, this one left me feeling almost nothing. I think maybe I'm just too old for big superhero event comics, because they all kind of feel the same. They always end up being clones of older things like Crisis on Infinite Earths, the Clone Saga, Infinity Gauntlet, etc. This feels like your generic Secret Invasion type of deal, where an army of evil something or others (in this case, vampires) comes to earth to wipe out mankind and yadda yadda etc. etc. Admittedly, this one seems the slightest bit interesting as it pulls in both street-level heroes like Daredevil and Spider-Man and cosmic characters like the Fantastic Four to deal with the same threat on different scales. The appearance by literal, actual Dracula was kind of neat, and it's mostly just nice to see Marvel using Blade stuff for something again besides a video game or a reboot movie that's never coming out. The X-Men backup story was honestly so bland I forgot about it as soon as I set the issue down to write this. I liked the art, though, and Jubilee is one of my favorite X-Men so that was neat at least.

CONAN: BATTLE OF THE BLACK STONE (Titan Comics) 9/10 Jim Zub, Jonas Scharf

Now THIS is how you do a FCBD book! I've been on a huge Conan/sword and sorcery kick for like a year now, and this preview of an upcoming Conan story scratched that itch hardcore. I haven't been keeping up with Conan's comic exploits for quite a while; I read some of the later-era Dark Horse stuff, but once he went back to Marvel for a month and a half or whatever I lost interest. I may have to go back and pick up Titan's other Conan comics though, because this totally rocks. Jim Zub strikes the exact kind of action-fantasy tone a good Conan story requires, and Scharf's art is absolutely pitch-perfect. It's dark and gritty without getting muddy, high-contrast shadows and scratchy textures abound. The time-spanning nature of this story seems neat, and I look forward to the mystery unfolding in the series proper.

FLASH GORDON #0 (Mad Cave) 7/10 Jeremy Adams, Will Conrad

I liked this one! I have a passing knowledge of Flash Gordon thanks to my mom's love of the 80s movie and my love of Queen, but I've never been really familiar with the world and characters. This got me interested to see where Mad Cave is going to take the mythology, even if I was a little lost while reading it. I liked the art quite a bit, and I really love how they've gone about updating Flash Gordon's design to be a bit more modern, while retaining that pulpy look to everything that makes the series so charming.

GATCHAMAN #0 (Mad Cave) 6/10 Bunn, Orlando, Edwards, Batista, Hansen, Lobo

Gatchaman is another one of those things that just never really reached my sphere of comic book influence, but I've always really liked the costumes of the Science Ninja Team. I was pretty interested to see if this preview issue would get me hooked enough to want to follow up and read the ongoing series, but I'm not super sure that it did. I liked the science fiction stuff, the second short story in this anthology worked well, and the art was good in all three stories, but overall I just wasn't really hooked by it. I feel like if I had read this around age 15 I probably would have loved it, but it just wasn't for me right now. Also, Chris Samnee's art on the cover is absolutely fantastic and I'm slightly disappointed that he wasn't doing the interiors.

HELLBOY and STRANGER THINGS (Dark Horse Comics) 8/10 Mignola, Laszlo, Stewart/ Fridolfs and Case

Another two-series anthology here, and for once I actually really liked both parts! The first part, a Hellboy story involving a storyteller, is sort of just a visual retelling of Hellboy's story from start to finish, with each important chapter of the story in a beautiful panel drawn by Mark Laszlo. It's not really anything I haven't read before, but it was really charming and nice to look at. The second half, a Stranger Things story titled "Deliver Me From Evil," is a short centering on Jonathan and Argyle. Argyle was my least favorite part of the fourth season of ST, but he's grown on me over time and my love of this series made this a fun read. I kinda want to go back and read some of Dark Horse's other Stranger Things stories, because I just really love this world.

JOHNNY QUEST, THUNDERCATS AND SPACE GHOST (Dynamite Comics) 8/10 Casey, Piriz, Shalvey, Moss, Pepose, Lau

All of these series are based on cartoons from before my time, but I've always had a fondness for the old Hanna-Barbera superhero and action stuff, and I've always felt that Thundercats was far superior to He-Man in terms of aesthetics and lore. I really liked all three of these stories, and I feel like Johnny Quest in particular fills a "Challengers of the Unknown" shaped-void in the comics world, with a story about a group of normal people on a sci-fi adventure. Thundercats looks like a fun, semi-gritty reimagining of the original cartoon's origin stories, and the Space Ghost story seems like it'll be a good time, with the story following Jace before he becomes one of SG's sidekicks. I had no expectations for any of these, but they all look like a good bit of fun.

THE OVERSTREET GUIDE TO COLLECTING COMICS 6/10 Vaughn, Huesman and Gonzalez

If there's one thing I hate in this world, it's people who collect comics or toys or video games or whatever solely as an investment. It ruins the hobby for other people and turns what should be fun escapism into purely a matter of business. That said, I found this little publication from the famous Overstreet Price Guide company to be charming and a sweet look into the nature of collecting comics and supporting your LCS. I've never been someone who collects for the purpose of reselling, and I've never been insanely concerned with buying secondhand comics in mint condition, so a lot of this fell flat to me, but it was charming and it can give an outsider a fun look into the world of comics buying and collecting. The art is really good, and the writing is serviceable considering this is essentially intended to be an educational pamphlet.

MAD MAGAZINE 8/10 Various, reprints

I've been a MAD magazine fan for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, my grandma got me a subscription for my birthday 5 years in a row, and I truly enjoyed every issue, even in the modern age where a lot of the humor can be defined as "Isn't it WACKY what celebrities are willing to say on Twitter???" But this was a refreshing look back at MAD's parodies of DC superheroes specifically, and it was extremely charming. It's all reprints of old material, and it's funny to see the specific things getting parodied at any given time, and the costumes in use for each parody. Not all of it lands, but it gave me enough laughs to justify the reading experience.

SPIDER-MAN and ULTIMATE UNIVERSE (Marvel Comics) 5/10 Wells, Stegman, Camp and Frigeri

Lastly, we have another Marvel job. I was, sadly, also not really enthused by this one at all. Everyone involved has done better work elsewhere, and this just feels like something to fill time in everyone's work schedules. The Spider-Man story is basically "What if Spider-Man was in Five Nights at Freddy's," and the Ultimates story was a little more engaging, if only because there are fun concepts at play. I actually do really like what Marvel is doing with this new Ultimate Universe, and I'm pretty interested to see where it goes. Sadly though, this was another pretty forgettable issue.

And that's it! I picked up a few more things, but I don't have strong enough opinions about pretty much any of it to warrant writing much more. I always recommend going to your LCS even if it's after Free Comic Book Day, because they usually have leftovers for months following the event, and they still give it away for free.

[bugscrew-diary]

Blogpost on Girlhood rewritten 4 sydney eheheehe

I started making this post a while ago and then didn't because I had no real reason to finish it but now I do so here u go hehe.

I've noticed that many of the women I know (myself included) had phases where they believed they were not women. When I try to explain this to cisgender people who haven't experienced that, it goes over their heads a little bit. I think they believe that very few people genuinely struggle with realizing a queer identity, and that most people just "know."

When I think of my early teen perspective, I think it actually makes sense that I jumped to the conclusion that I may not be a woman once I realized that my thoughts on gender do not align with most people. When you're in middle school, coming into an understanding that the arbitrary traits our society assigns gender to are actually pretty illogical is hard to do without it making you think you must be transgender to think that way. When you're in middle school, the only other people you know of that think that way are probably transgender.

But recently, I've been thinking about it a little differently. Not to say "Younger me should have known!" because I think it's good to contemplate and experiment with your own gender, even if the conclusion is that there's nothing to be changed. I've seen this discourse online before so it's not like it hasn't been said before, but that few years in online queer communities where it was pretty much exclusively about what label you wore and what pride flag you used was really harmful to queer ideology as a whole. Instead of breaking down the walls that queer people feel trapped by, it just added slightly bigger walls around the initial walls. "You're either this or that" became "You're either this, that, or maybe one of these 55 other very specific labels. Also you have to pick one or you're not really like us."

Some people were kind of beyond the idea of forcing one specific gender label, but not quite beyond the hyper-specificity of it all, so they would pick a few different labels. But then, those people would get piled on, it would cause a bunch of fighting and discourse and accusations of bigotry, and all of this was probably really frustrating for older queer people to see. They were watching a bunch of young people pass the "One size fits all" approach to identity, but get stuck at "These few sizes should fit all, but if they don't, we'll just make more until we get everyone!" I wish my younger self could have seen a community of queer people who understood that identity can be, and pretty much always is, an extremely individual experience.

I think this wave of identity-forcing and then identity-policing I grew up seeing made it really hard for me to accept that I didn't really need a one-word answer to my identity if I didn't find or even want one. Before I struggled with my identity, I felt the same way about myself as I do now. I don't think my "gender" has changed with my ideology shift.

I remember liking my brother's toys more than mine. We had action figures, mini Halo figurines, and Legos. I was introduced to gaming through watching my brother play. I can't recall a single toy of my own because they simply weren't as impactful for me. I'm really trying to think right now but I can't remember any of my own toys at all. Before writing this, I think I would have described my childhood gender experience as disliking "girly" things. But now that I really run it through my brain, I realize that I just didn't care about them and I liked my brother's experience better. Any perceived "dislike" of girl things was probably just because I felt like I had to pick a side. I remember calling myself a tomboy despite always dressing like a girl. It was just the way I felt about things.

Even now, most of my favorite things about myself and favorite pastimes are what people consider masculine. I've picked up more feminine traits over the years because I'm more comfortable with femininity, but they're nowhere near the most important things about me or what comes to mind when people think of me. Being a little girl unimpacted by femininity made it hard to think I could just be that, someone who absorbs femininity passively without rejecting it. I love feminine and girly things when I see other people engage with them, but applying them to myself doesn't really work for me. I used to think if I wanted to be "feminine," it would be absurdly more effort and useless to achieve that, but it turns out I just don't like it that much.

I hope this suffices sydney sowwy it took so long

[coeurdastronaute]

Oxygen

Kate Bishop was tired. 

There should be a better word for the feeling she had, the pure exhaustion that seemed to rest in her bones and her muscles, the slowness of her brain and the difficulty she had wanting to stay awake. But there wasn’t a better word than tired, and Kate was tired in the truest essence of the word. 

“Last call everyone,” a voice echoed through the stacks as Kate rubbed her eyes and let out a breath. “Closing up in fifteen minutes.” 

She looked at her laptop and the essay that, frankly, had not been her best work yet. First of the semester, she told herself, set the bar low. That was the bright side she had as she ran the spell and grammar check before deciding it was the best she could do, and a full eight minutes before it was due, she downloaded and submitted. 

With a small smile, Kate leaned back in the heavy wooden chair in her small corner of the library and accepted this very normal milestone as a very normal victory. She was caught up in her reading. She was prepared for class. She was ready for practice, and she was a full-on, actual, real, most of the time adult. And she was going to fucking graduate. Come hell, high water, alien invasion, cold war, drug trade explosion, new gang war, criminal trials, company meetings, vet appointments, or even… Kate shuddered… statistics.

The archer shouldered her bag after shoving her stuff inside, and made her way into the nearly springtime air of campus. People still mingled about, a gaggle of lower classmen all dressed up for their trip to the bar. It made Kate feel, for some reason, exceptionally old. She hadn’t meant to, but somehow things were different, and she was still trying very hard to figure it all out. Going back to school was the only normal thing she had anchoring herself. She desperately needed to be anchored. 

“Hey,” Clint answered on the third ring. “It’s like… midnight.” 

“It’s only eleven for you. I can count.”

“They really teach you a lot of good things at that fancy school, don’t they? I'd have hoped you’d learn about time zones prior to your last semester.” 

“What can I say, I’m an ambitious student.” 

“Didn’t you destroy a bell tower?” 

“There was a clock, too– it doesn’t matter,” she sighed and walked toward her subway station. “I was just checking to see if you looked at that data I collected about the Triad in Hell’s Kitchen.” 

“I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t worry about anything south of 72nd.” 

“I didn’t mean to, but I was following a lead. Should I just not follow leads now when I hit an invisible barrier that is the arbitrary street you randomly selected?” 

“Yes.” 

“Did you look?” 

There might have been some light sleuthing, intermingling with her studies. Some extracurricular efforts were made to continually hone her skills and try to prove that she was ready to take the mantle, or at least do something worthwhile with her life. Suddenly, with her mother behind bars, she felt an immense burden and debt owed to many people, and she didn’t know how to pay it back. She had to fix something, and to fix herself seemed like too much of an undertaking, so an elaborate and ancient drug-based organized crime ring seemed like the right place to start. 

“It’s late, Kate. Should you be sleeping or studying or doing the frat party things I hear about all the time and dread my daughter doing in a few years?” 

“I was at the library and I’m heading home,” she informed him, trudging down the quiet stairs toward her train. “Did you look?” 

There was a heavy sigh on the other end of the line. She knew that Clint was sitting in his favorite chair in the office while everyone was asleep. She could imagine him tilting his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose before picking up the tumblr of whiskey he occasionally had. 

She heard the crystal clunk on the table a second later and smirked to herself. 

“Kate– just finish class. Graduate. Keep sending me whatever you gather, and remember–”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kate groaned as she slumped down. “Don’t do anything. I am on probation after destroying the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center and ruining Christmas for the nation. I am a… God, Clint, don’t make me–

“Finish it.” 

Kate shook her head and let out a long breath. 

“I am a junior apprentice and have no free will. I am forbidden from doing anything until I have a college degree. If I involve myself in anything without the expressed consent of Clint Barton, I will forfeit any future chance of working with him.” 

“Good. So why don’t you try asking me again about the info you sent me.” 

“Did you see it?” 

“I did. It’s good work. What did you learn?”

She smiled to herself and jumped into her spiel, analyzing all of the information she’d memorized, breaking it down as her train took her back to her apartment. It wasn’t lost on her that he was humoring her, and that more drugs were going to spill into the city because she wasn’t allowed to do anything. But she had to learn. She wasn’t going to be impetuous. Not anymore. This was a new Kate Bishop. 

“You are doing good work, but I need you to enjoy school. Or at least broaden your horizons. I know you don’t want to–”

“No, I get it.” 

“I don’t think you do,” he sighed. “But I hope you will one day.” 

Kate got off at her stop and realized it was late and she was tired, but perhaps not as tired as Clint sounded, for some reason. She was aware that she was, perhaps, too much for some people, as evidenced by most of her life experiences. 

“How’s the farm? How are the kids? Laura?” 

“Everyone is good. I think we have to actually get a dog soon. Between Lucky and Fanny, the kids are getting used to having one. Laura has already started hinting, but–”

“Fanny?” 

“Yeah, apparently I’m running a kennel in my retirement for wayward assassins and trainees while they’re running off into the–”

“Fanny, like Yelena’s dog?” 

“How many Fanny’s do you think I know– Do not answer that.” 

Kate cackled as she wrestled the keys from her bag to her new loft after the last had been burnt to a crisp. Clint groaned and finished his drink an entire time zone away. Kate missed him. She would go see him as soon as she could. She didn’t have many other people to visit. 

“But you watched Yelena’s dog?”

“She was here a month ago or so,” he explained. “Spent some time cooling off, but got called away. I don’t know what she normally does with Fanny, but she didn’t have time to go anywhere else, so we watched her.”

“She tried to kill you.” 

“Yeah, well, who hasn’t?” 

Kate furrowed and got off the elevator on the top floor. She toyed with her keys and tried very hard not to think about Yelena, the assassin who she was oddly interested in seeing again. For no reason. Certainly no reason she’d actively thought about over the past two months. Certainly not. She didn’t have the time to think of… anything…about… all of that. Not at all. 

She sure as hell hadn’t expected to hear Clint mention the former Black Widow slash murder vixen. She hadn’t expected that they’d even talk. 

“I’d like to think Nat would want me to try to keep an eye out for her. Be a place for Yelena to crash land,” Clint mused. 

It wasn’t often that he mentioned his old friend. Grief was a heavy, violent thing, and Kate could almost understand. But then again, Kate couldn’t imagine being so close to anyone to think about what their loss would feel like in her life. And Clint and Nat were… they were everything to each other. 

“I didn’t know her, but she was your family. I think it makes sense that you try to keep tabs on her kid sister.” 

Lucky trotted over as she closed the heavy metal door. She tossed her keys on the counter and rubbed his belly and ruffled his ears. 

“So she was like, at the farm, just hanging out, with her dog?” 

It sounded chill. Kate was certain that her voice was chill. The chilliest. She grabbed Lucky’s leash and prepared to go out yet again. Despite how tired she’d been, she suddenly felt a little more awake than forty-five minutes ago in the library. 

“Yeah, we went through some of Nat’s stuff she stored in the basement. We talked about some missions. She got to know the kids. Really good with them, actually, much to Laura’s relief. I should probably never tell them how many assassins they’ve hung out with before they could drive…” 

“Mmmm,” Kate nodded while Lucky looked up at her in the lift, eager to go out. “So just left?” 

“Yeah. But she picked Fanny up and is back out in the world. Urgent business, she called it.”

“When was that?” 

“I don’t know, a few days ago, maybe a week.” 

“Cool. Yeah, that’s– That sounds good,” Kate nodded to herself and cleared her throat, furrowing slightly. “Did she ask about me or like… I told her if she was ever in the city to look me up, you know?” 

“You only came up when we made fun of your inability to function in following any form of plan. You made an impression, that’s for sure.” 

“Oh, great, yeah, you talked… About me…” 

“Listen kid, I have to go to bed. I’m taking Coop driving on the back half of the property tomorrow before school.”

“Right, yeah, of course.” 

“You focus on class, alright? I’m serious. You know the deal.” 

“I know,” she nodded as Lucky found his favorite tree. “I will. Proper education and solid alter ego.” 

“Good. Alright kid, let me know when you’re going to be in town.”

“I will.” 

“And Kate–”

“Yeah?” 

“It was good info. You’re learning.” 

She smiled and punched the air, baubling her phone slightly as Lucky bounded beside her with her excitement. 

“Night Clint.” 

“Later, kid,” he murmured before hanging up. 

Left to her own devices, Kate walked Lucky a block down and back, making a mental note to take him to the park the following day to make up for her shitty schedule. She shoved her phone in her pocket and ambled along, enjoying the stillness of the city after midnight. There were a few discussion boards to be done tomorrow. There was a meeting at Bishop Security she was supposed to go to in a few days. There were a few things she couldn’t push off any longer, including a lunch with Jack and maybe even the unanswered letters her mother sent along. 

She certainly wasn’t going to think too much about all of that. 

Kate broke things down into small pieces. She’d get her degree and she’d prove that the name Bishop wasn’t one of degenerates or thieves or murderers. The name Bishop was going to be synonymous with good. 

“You ready for bed?” she looked down at the dog whose tongue slid out the side of his mouth, unfamiliar with whatever she was asking. “Me too, bud.” 

Kate went through her routine. She washed her face. Checked Lucky’s water and food. Plugged in her phone. And Lucky quickly curled onto his outrageously priced dog bed, snoring before she even pulled back her sheets to climb into her own. 

When she did, Kate didn’t spend her last precious thoughts before sleep wondering where the former or maybe still current assassin who threw her off a roof once, was. She didn’t think about Yelena, just as she hadn’t before, because she wasn’t curious at all. She didn’t want to know anything at all about the woman who could kill her, but still hadn’t. No, 

Kate didn’t have time to unpack that at all. She had four classes to pass, a degree to get, a company to save, and a division conference to lead in archery. 

All of that seemed fairly mundane when she thought about Wilson Fisk. 

All of that seemed fairly boring when she thought about Yelena Belova. 

Kate tried desperately not to think of anything important. She couldn’t take another trip down the roads that were long since washed away. There was something about her innate lack of trust in herself anymore that made her aware of how hard it was to not think of the assassin. But her mother lied, and Kate once trusted her. She trusted her so deeply that now, well now, Kate couldn’t trust her own instincts. 

So she would train harder, and not think. No more thinking. Ever again. 

XXXXXXXXXX

There was a list that existed, of quintessential college experiences. Kate was fairly certain Clint both googled and just used every trope imaginable to compose the list, but along with her other assignments, between class and vigilante-lite, she had things that were deemed vital for her to try to have a rich, fulfilling life before being a college graduate. 

“Good vibes, right?” she grinned too widely and looked at her friends. 

Spring had sprung, and it was the Tuesday before Spring Break officially started. And while most of her friends were heading off to some place with a beach, Kate elected to stay in the city, maybe take a small trip to the Barton Farm. Nothing too crazy. And so she decided to complete number fifteen on her list, and throw a party. A big party. A huge, magnificent, get the cops called, kind of party. Though no cops had been called because they were on the roof, there had been multiple kegs. There’d been beer pong and flip cup and ring of fire. There’d been suck and blow. There’d been brief nudity. There’d been a good bit of dancing, to boot. 

“Amazing vibes,” Greer promised, clinking their plastic cups together. 

The crowds began to thin out as the night sky grew a little gray. 

“I needed this.” 

“Same. It’s been a hell of a time living in the real world.” 

“Should have dropped out halfway through your final year so you could be a fifth year senior like the cool kids,” Kate teased. 

“Yeah, I don’t think the school would have excused me like they did you.” 

“Oh, you just have to have a mother commit egregious and unlawful acts and await trial while a crime organization hunts you down as retribution.” 

“Yeah, no I’m glad I graduated,” Greer chuckled. “Though this was a hell of a party.”

“Amazing what access to a trust fund and your mothers insane guilt can do.” 

“How are you doing with all of that?” 

A few more waved their goodbyes as Kate finished what was left in her cup, the warm, stale evening giving way to the chill of early morning, the chill of her beer becoming warm despite the night’s best efforts. She swirled around some foam and smiled and nodded. 

“What is it… the whole serenity to change the things I can or whatever?” 

“You’re painfully WASP-y sometimes.” 

“Be the change you wish to be. Paint with all the colors of the wind.” 

“So long as you’re okay.” 

“As okay as ever. Just tired. This was much needed.” 

“It was. But I should head out. Get Leah home safe and whatnot.” 

“Sounds good. I can probably get a few hours of sleep before the gym tomorrow. I feel like I’m getting old. It’s harder to survive these kinds of nights.” 

“Twenty-six this year, huh?” 

“I think I’m due a delayed quarter-life crisis.” 

“True. Everyone had them for you.” 

“Let me know you get home okay. You can stay, if you want.” 

The crowd had disappeared, so all that was left was cups and mess and the remnants of a good time. 

“As much fun as staying in a beer-soaked loft might be,” Greer laughed, “We should head out. You have an early morning.” 

“The cleaners are coming at nine.” 

“Nice.” 

With a heave, they roused their friend. Kate helped her down the steps and into her loft, which had seen much better days. Cups littered every surface. The music that was thumping through the speaker on the table was muted. The television flashed a screensaver, and all was clear. 

“Your ride is out front?” 

“Yeah, I called it a few minutes ago.”

“Franny bounced early. That guy from her office seemed nice enough.” 

“She’s pretty into him. We all got drinks last Friday.” 

“Not as pretty as you,” Leah grinned, hugging Greer tighter as Kate leaned against the door and they paused in the hall.” 

“Yes, thank you, darling,” Greer rolled her eyes but smiled. “I better get her home. You have to come with us for drinks next time.” 

“Yeah, definitely,” Kate agreed. 

Last Friday she’d been deep into a stakeout. She’d probably be into another stake out again, if she played her cards right, but she agreed anyway, because that was what you did at parties. 

“Let me know when you get home,” she reiterated. 

“Thanks for tonight,” Greer grinned as she pressed the button for the elevator. “We had fun.” 

Her girlfriend nodded, arm wrapped around her shoulder. Kate loved them. She’d loved them since middle school. Kate was somewhat aware that perhaps this might be the last time they loved her. How did her mother balance it all? How did she balance running a company and cavorting with crime bosses? How does one murder and tuck their daughter in on the same day? 

Kate hadn’t even had a double life yet, not officially, and yet she was wondering how it all would work. 

“Love you guys,” she smiled as the doors closed. 

“Love you tooooo,” the voices sing out and into a fit of giggles. 

By the time the door shut, all was quiet, and yet even with her healthy buzz and the outright tiredness that existed in her body, Kate turned off the light, the television, and the speaker. She tugged a blanket over her shoulders, and she went back on the roof. 

It wasn’t on her list, but something about sunrise made Kate feel… better. She wasn’t sure she was upset or sad at all, just that she was in need of a little magic. Nothing was more magical than a sunrise. 

With a small sigh, she leans against the railing and waits patiently for the inevitable. 

“Kate Bishop, did my invitation to this party get lost in the mail or something?” 

Before her eyes registered the familiar form of the assassin sitting on a lawn chair, she knew who it was. She knew the voice and she knew the way her stomach would flip because of the woman who would be waiting. 

“The only way to get on the roof is through my loft, with a key card, up the only elevator I was just at, and multiple points of–”

“Any building has roof access if you try hard enough, Kate Bishop.”

Kate grinned and acquiesced. Of course, nothing would stop a Black Widow from getting to where she intended, not even Bishop Security tech that Kate had outfitted the building with, not even anything as simple as an elevator. 

Yelena smiled and stood, slowly walking over toward the railing that Kate now leaned against. Kate observed her casual outfit, her black jeans, her black shirt, her black jacket. It all felt very super spy, but the silver in her ears, the necklaces, the rings. They were all bits of Yelena peppered in. If she had been a girl at a bar, Kate would have gazed longingly from a distance and been afraid to approach a girl like that. Even with her elevated and unearned levels of confidence, there was no way she could have approached all of… that. 

The spy sauntered. Slid. Glided up to the railing with gently rolling hips. It was exhausting for Kate to watch. It also brought up a few trains of thought that she had not considered or at least fought valiantly to ignore. 

“My invitation was lost in the mail, no?” 

“Must have been,” Kate nodded. “What brings you to my rooftop, Yelena?” 

“I was in the neighborhood,” she shrugged, leaning beside Kate on the railing. “I was promised a drink and a tour by a local, however,” she looked around. “Ironically, there doesn’t seem to be much drinks left here.” 

“You should have come earlier.” 

“So rude, Kate Bishop. You were my first stop upon arriving to this city. And now I didn’t come soon enough. Have you been keeping out of trouble?” 

Kate thought about it and nodded reluctantly. 

“I have.” 

She earned a hard stare and rolled her eyes. 

“You’re worse than Clint. Yes. No trouble here. Unless you count my stats grade dipping below an A. I’ve kept a distance and just done intel gathering. Archery practice. Gym twice a day. That’s it.” 

“Good girl, Kate Bishop. I am happy to hear it.” 

“What about you?” 

“Should I make the joke that I am the trouble?” Yelena asked, amused at herself. “No, no, I’ve been good. Nothing too bad.”

They pair remained watching as the sun finally peaked up, glowing against the sky, peaking through the skyscrapers. The park was glowing, green and vibrant, bursting into life with spring and sun, while the glass and steel of the city started to gleam just as much. 

“What brings you back to the city, Yelena? Work?” 

“Could I say to you something that I have not said to anyone else?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I watch many movies about New York City. Many TV shows. I always imagined I live here with my sister and we have very monotonous adventures. After my time at the farm, I wanted to feel a little closer to that childish dream, for her.” 

“I’m sure she would have loved that.”

“Yes, Nat found a home with her Avengers family. Maybe we could have had something similar, or I could have fit in there, somehow.” 

“So you’re staying?” Kate asked, totally chill. Very Chill. That should be her superhero name. The Chillest. She cleared her throat and looked back at the clouds drifting in. 

“I am. I have a business to run, after all. I don’t do well on a team. Now I am a business woman. You know about that, don’t you. You are running your company?” 

“Not officially– wait, what do you mean, a business?”

Yelena reached into her back pocket and held out a small, cream-colored business card. Kate held it up, tilting it toward the sun.

“B&R Co. International Logistics Specialists,” Kate read before flipping over the card, only to find it empty. It was thick card stock, the typeface simple and imprinted there. “How is anyone supposed to reach you? There’s no phone number.” 

“Why would I want someone to contact me?” 

“For business… opportunities? Usually business cards have contact information.” 

“Oh, you’re funny,” she chuckled, taking the card back and putting it in her pocket. “Anyone who would hire me knows how to reach me.” 

“Of course,” Kate shook her head. “So you’re staying?” 

“I don’t know about staying. But I’m here for now. Some interesting contract work exists in this interesting city.” 

“And I was your first stop?” 

Yelena rolled her eyes and pushed up slightly from the railing. 

“You are the only person who owes me a drink in this city. It’s a no brainer. But here we are, and I am still drink-less.” 

“Raincheck. Any other day, and I would have been all yours.” 

“I should go now, Kate Bishop. I’m happy to hear you are without trouble.” 

“We could get breakfast. I could show you some things–”

“You have the gym and practice and a meeting at Bishop Security to discuss the long term rebranding and new technology releases this quarter.”

Yelena moved to the edge of the building before tossing out an anchor. 

“How did you–”

“It’s my job to know things, Kate Bishop. Rain check.” 

“When?” 

“Sometime, I’m sure.”

With a small smile, she disappeared over the edge and Kate was left standing there as the sun came up over the city and the remnants of her party. She wasn’t sure what it would mean, to know that Yelena was in the city, just that now maybe she had someone else to help figure out how to balance it all. 

She didn’t move, but rather watched the sun come up on another day, on a random Wednesday that felt different than before.

[cdelphiki]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Oh gosh that's so hard! Thanks for sending this! ❤️ I'm gonna make up my own rules and say it has to be complete works. Also these aren't in any particular order.

Precedent: The first jason-joins-the-family fic I wrote, which made me fall in love with writing that trope.

Second Chance: I still love my original version best, because it was a alternate version of Jason & Three Terrors, where Talia takes her two babies back to Bruce once Athanasia is born instead of raising her in secret, and I enjoyed Bruce's 'TWO babies who is the father of the second???' and also internally being like but of course he'll protect both kids with his life, then the angst of finding out talia had created a second child with his DNA or whatever (when he didn't even know about the first!) without his permission. But of course for the published version I just went with Damian, making it more canon-compliant for a wider audience. Regardless, I would put this fic on the top of my best one-shots, writing-wise, and I just really enjoy it every time I reread it.

To Cheat Death: I hate Jason dying so much, so this was a fun idea to explore. This idea came to me one day and I just jotted down the idea and squirrelled it away, then one night when I couldn't sleep I decided at like 2am I had to write it and this fic was born. I feel like I do my best writing when it's a middle-of-the-night-can't-sleep-until-i-finish-this kind of fic. I still have scenes that happen after the fic drafted out I want to write some day.

Not All Kidnappings are Bad:This was just so fun to write. Baby Jason was so scared but settled in and became so loved by his new family, even if Bruce was an idiot and accidentally kidnapped him to start. I got so into the story in the 10 days?? it took to write, I just remember being so engrossed I thought about it constantly. I vividly remember thinking up Alfred's conversation with Jason in the car driving home. I was crossing the big scary bridge and my eyes started tearing up, because I've turned so freaking soft since I started writing and every time a character cries I start to tear up 😅. This story was also where I got my idea for Reclaiming Innocence and honestly I think THAT is the best thing I've ever written but also it's not done so I can't include it, per my arbitrary rules.

Oh gosh, picking five is actually harder than I thought.

I'll pick A Hero Lost. I know I just wrote it, which might be why it's still so stuck with me, but Bruce's grief was so vivid to me. I've never lost a child, I've never even had a child, but the world did lose a child that I loved last year. I hadn't seen him in a couple years, and probably would have never seen him again because his family and I had both moved since I nannied for them, so I was super surprised with how hard it hit me. And obviously my grief was absolutely nothing like what his parents went through and still go through today almost a year later, or what Bruce goes through in the story, but I drew upon that experience and upon my conversations with the boy's mother since to write it. It was a very emotional story to write. I just wish children could come back to life in real life.

[queerfictionwriter]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Okay, first of all, you are a joy. Secondly: this would be so much easier if I was less fucking prolific, LMAO. So yes, I'm late to this party, but in my defense, I had to winnow down nearly 200 fics from a decade of fanfic writing to get here.

And, uuuuuuh. Yeah, sorry, I "cheated"--you're gonna get my five(ish) favourite Steter, and five favourite non-Steter fics bc LAWD this was hard to pick!

Steter:

The Devil You Know - this was the first fic where I think I deliberately skewed dark--but the point of this fic, for all that it's kind of dark and extremely messy, is that "you do not have to reach some arbitrary standard of 'good enough' in order to be good to or for someone".

Better Than Okay - the fic where "ace" does not mean "sex-repulsed", and "ace Dom" isn't an oxymoron. I love this one bc it focussed on communication and mutual meeting of needs, and because it points out that a label alone cannot tell you everything about how a person thinks, feels, and relationships.

thick series - this 'verse is always fun to think about, re-read, or revisit and write more of, bc Chaotic Dumbass Stiles & genderqueer Butch Daddy Peter are hilarious and a delight

Starving Faithful - this is an ABO fic that smashes religious trauma and sexuality together in ways that I find really meaningful, and also hot. I have a lot of feelings about this one and am really proud of how it turned out.

Unorthodox - soft, loving kink in a long-term relationship that doesn't look like what everyone thinks kink is

In Good Faith - this was a collab with the wildly talented @asarcasticwitch, and every moment working on this joint gift with her filled me with glee. Every time I open that fic I need a few minutes to stare at the art.

Non-Steter:

Ruined - this is literally just sexy Stetopher shenanigans ft. girl Stiles and trans Peter, and I still love everything about this one years later

(Un)Gilding the Lily - my contribution to the collection about the "feminine" product so horrifying, there was no other option except ruthless mockery. Everything about the creation of this one was the best kind of ride.

Come Out in the Wash - the first Stalion I ever wrote, and my favourite of them to re-read for how human this one feels, especially when it comes to sex partners who are disabled

not broken, she's just a baby - AKA "the Kinky Stargent". I love this one so much, and the velvety-soft D/s in this one might be the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written

What I've Been Looking For - AKA The Yoga AU. Stetopher. It took me over 4yrs to finish this, and it might be the fic I'm proudest of.

[rawliverandcigarettes]

Ask Game : ALL OF THEM !!!!!! Or, perhaps slightly more realistically, 💭 ! 👓! 🚀 ! 💥! and/or [INSERT PREFERENCE HERE] ! (they're all free choice, answer as many or as little as you like)

Hahaha yes that would be maybe A Lot (though I did have fun, these are good asks! I might answer more at some point!!)

I have already replied to some of them here!

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

I always found the "inspiration" questions to be really hard to answer, because I'm not always 100% sure what qualifies as inspiration to be honest? If I had to answer beyond the obvious (just living one's life, watching others live theirs, get involved with other people's art, learn cool facts about being alive and how we made it obtuse and complicated), I think my thing is to notice intersections, heighten them and push them in a direction that I can then observe? I think it's why I really like fan creation: there isn't the arbitrary part of making things up that could be literally anything, it's more about reckoning with particular feelings and exploring where they come from and what they mean. I think I create in a very... reactory way, if that makes sense? Which sounds awful put like that, but oh well!!!!

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

Two things!

Music and a drink of some kind (generally tea or coffee, but can be a nice cold something, or even alcohol in rare occasions)

NO INTERNET.

This second part is so crucial. As time goes by, I think I have a fairly decent amount of suspicion that I fall somewhere on the ADHD spectrum, and so the internet simply murders my ability to focus. I didn't use to be so bad, but two burnouts before hitting 25 years old will mess up a brain real good, and now I need my way out of the interwebs to do anything remotely productive.

I am so worried about the inevitable moment where my old phone dies and I *have* to get a smartphone.

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

It mostly depends on the story. If it's a short piece, I either don't outline or outline in extremely broad strokes.

When it comes to longer pieces, I do outline pretty extensively! I have developed a method that works extremely well for me and involves some sort of table that recaps what's going on in a given chapter, but also notes any crucial information we're supposed to learn regarding main character arcs, main plot and subplots. I only get to the table phase once I have a seriously good idea of what the story will be, which usually takes several notebooks to iron out.

Even then, the outline is pretty loose, and I know I will make adjustments while putting the actual words on the page --there's always something I forgot to take into account, or a narrative opportunity I didn't realize was there to begin with.

(also sometimes I forget what I put in my outline and remembers too late oops)

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Oh nooooooo this is so hard!!! And what is hard about it is to only pick one!!!

So I'm trying to pick the one that would have the most positive impact overall, and that reflects my arbitrary bias the least (it still will, but I'm not picking something like "more salarians", which for sure would be great for me but wouldn't do much to enhance the story as a whole)

So. I love Mass Effect 2, I really do. It's my favorite of the trilogy, mostly thanks to its bold narrative design that was pretty revolutionary at the time, and its cast of amazing characters. But... I think the main plot kind of makes very little sense, and its connection to the rest of the trilogy is tenuous at best.

The thing I would change is that instead of Collectors reaping out humans colonies to make a Super Human Reaper, which is pretty stupid, Collectors are still there (and maybe still kidnapping colonists why not), but they are used as an inside job inside the Terminus Systems to stirr trouble and mess things up between different factions, increasing tensions between Council Space and the Terminus Systems before the invasion strikes. We can keep the whole game pretty similar, except that the danger is less in humans disappearing (which... ok mary sues why is it always about you) and more in "we are eating our own instead of being united against the Reapers when they do arrive". We could get a great peak of who are these people opposing the Council and why, and get a sense of the "dark" side of the Milky Way --which I think was always the intention, though it got a little muddied-- and why it still deserves to be saved. We can keep everything: the suicide mission, us being allied with Cerberus and questionning the Alliance, the diverse perspective of all these suicidal outcasts... And!!! That would justify giving depth to batarians, I did it, I made batarians part of my change without making it seem as if the one thing I would change is to write batarians in a better way!!!

(my other pick for those who are curious would be to rework Priority: Thessia and make it less sexist. I really think just reworking this mission would make ME3 overall less weirdly bitter --though toning down the sexism in the entire game also works)

And I'm throwing a wildcard generated by a number generator for good measure:

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

That one's pretty easy! Here's a snippet from The Empire of Preys, from the perspective of the one and only, our favorite eugenist, racist and misandrist space frog: Dalatrass Linron!!!

(it's not edited, first draft, etc, thread with caution --also Dalatrass Linron's first name is Nemore)

Nemore ignored the alien’s brutish sturdiness to return the salarian his defiant gaze; a pastel shade that looked like a discreet blush, an unbecoming secret. He was young, his clothes baggy and practical and unkempt; used to run away from the local city watch, his angles sharpened by the toll of constant revolt, or the streets, or long-term overdose. She wondered whether his mother knew where he was, if she knew about the imprint that krogan claws left on his skin and how it was now overpowering the imprinting on her; whether these claws ever dug deep enough to soil her son’s blood.

She clenched her teeth. Her crusade had never been about saving everyone –especially not souls desperate to sink themselves back to lower cycles. The Salarian Union was a collective struggle, but collective didn’t imply all-encompassing. Nemore was well aware of the sacrifices left to make. All those wayward girls and motherless boys; tragically lost, incapable of being saved.

She wrenched her attention away from the nauseating pair, and back at the crowd chanting her name.

“They’re too close,” Nemore murmured to her security chief. “Get them away from my people.”

Thank you so much, those are really fun!

From this ask game!

[behindyourbarrette]

temporarily, indefinitely, forever - chapter five

series masterlist

spencer reid x reader

cw: food, mention of a knife probably, arguing/swearing

a/n: i am so sorry that this is the update we come back to as it is Angsty BUT i hope you enjoy the plot development anyways lol. IM SORRY IN ADVANCE ITS ANGST but have no fear hopefully six up soon

November is...mediocre.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of anticipation with autumn. You adore the chill and gloom, but when you’ve been looking forward to it for months, it always falls flat. Maybe you’d like November more if it weren’t preceded by October and followed by December; it feels like the middle child, overshadowed by the glitz and glamour of its siblings. You’re caught between feeling like you miss what’s passed and fearing the future.

If anything, November feels like a steady build. A crescendo of everything you’ve created, of every feeling you’ve tucked away. When you look back on it later, you’ll recall the feeling that you were on the edge of two extremes. Everything and nothing were both in reach.

“I heard that you got the kid a fish. Great pick.” Derek claps you on the shoulder, spinning in his desk chair. You shrug the compliment off, quick to speed away, but something about his expression makes you want to linger.

“Yep. I like to think I know him,” You call, and the smile on your face burns as you walk away.

You can’t be angry with him. You should have known this would happen; you’ve always been tender-hearted. The universe must find this funny; you’ve hurt yourself by your own hand. Instead of being angry, you decide to let go. If this is the only way you can have him—stilted, half-pretend moments between stretches of longing—so be it. Maybe it’ll be enough.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?” Spencer pokes his head into your office; by the look on his face, it’s obvious that he feels like he’s interrupting. A smile on your face, you nod. Twenty minutes later, you’re contentedly sipping at a latte and letting the wind blow your hair out of your face. While you don’t spot anyone roasting chestnuts, the scene is relatively idyllic. Spencer sips at his coffee, and you decide to cause a little chaos.

“Maybe we should have gotten fake engaged.” Spencer spits out his drink, and you laugh way too loudly for someone watching their boyfriend sputter and nearly choke on hot coffee. Luckily, nobody’s really paying attention. While you’re still close to Quantico, you’ve been introduced to the outdoor pavilion of Spencer’s favorite coffee shop. Each time he brings you somewhere, you struggle to place the feeling of pride you get, at having learned something new. After patting him on the back a few times, he looks at you like you’re out of your mind.

“Why would we do that?”

“I don’t know, people keep acting like we will eventually. Plus, a broken off engagement is so….” you open your arms, closing your eyes as you gesture to emphasize the impact of what you’re saying “dramatic. They wouldn’t expect me to date again, like, ever. My heart just wouldn’t go on. I’d be a spinster.” You pantomime a knife to the heart, and he smiles crookedly.

“Do you really want that, with someone? A ring?” When he sees that you aren’t correcting him, he presses on. “Let me guess. A huge farm wedding, jewel tones, a princess cut?” He’s teasing you, now, but he’s at least a little right. You swat at his shoulder and shrug, something warm building in your chest.

“I don’t know. I mean, regardless of how archaic and arbitrary it is, there’s a part of me that would love to wear the pretty dress and have everyone look at me.” He nods sagely, as if he understands. “It’s a big fuck you to everyone who ever made me feel unwanted. Like, look. Somebody loves me.” You go quiet, and decide to make a hard left away from vulnerability. “But I’m not sure. I think if I were to get married for any reason,” you waggle your eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood, “I’d do it a million ways. At the courthouse. On the beach. In the mountains. It wouldn’t really matter where or how, you know? That’s not the focal point.”

He is looking at you differently now, and you decide it is time to crack a joke before you both say something you regret. You do a lot of this lately.

“Plus, I’d get a shiny ring.”

You lift your left hand, and the tension in his expression is gone, much to your relief.

“Diamonds don’t shine, actually. The carbon makes them...what’s the word. Sparkle.” You laugh, and the conversation finally settles. You go back to stealing glances at each other and warming your hands against each other’s coffee cups, seeing which one cools off more quickly.

Thanksgiving, Late Morning

He turns up to your apartment on a random Thursday, and you’re barely awake. Over a cup of coffee, you watch your door knob rattle in mild panic until you hear his voice. It’s almost unfamiliar to see him use his key, and you half-startle when he emerges in the doorway, carrying a huge turkey.

“Holy shit.” You laugh, covering your mouth with your hand.

“Help me get it to the counter, please, it’s fourteen pounds and the elevator is broken so I had to take the stairs.” He grimaces, and you rush over, laughing. Gagging, you rinse the juice off your hands once the bird is safely deposited onto your kitchen counter. Spencer looks a little out of his element—he’s wearing a t-shirt with a football team you’ve never heard of on it, and carrying two full bags of groceries. You’ve never been happier to see him.

“What happened to you?”

He flushes pink, and shrugs. You begin to put away groceries in an attempt to avoid staring at his exposed arms. The fact that you derive an inexplicable amount of joy from seeing his forearms is too embarrassing to focus on, so you decide to busy yourself with your half-empty fridge.

“Rossi. Told me I needed to get into the holiday spirit. I’m just glad he didn’t make me stick around for the big game.”

“Is it really Thanksgiving?” You ask, incredulous. Last you checked, December was still a hope, not a reality.

“Yeah. Why did you think we had the day off?”

“Shits and giggles, obviously. I’m kidding. I just didn’t think I’d be doing anything. Why aren’t you with the team?” He seems genuinely caught off guard. In an attempt to stall, he begins to loudly chop celery. You shoot him a glare and he caves, smiling softly.

“I don’t know. I just thought it was something we could do together.” That’s as good a reason as any. You shrug and swipe a piece of celery from the cutting board, relishing in the exasperated look on his face. The morning passes quickly, the smell of bay leaves and Bell seasoning wafting through the house. By the time Spencer’s prepared a few sides and the turkey leaves the oven, you’re both starving and exhausted.

“How are you, really? I’ve noticed.” He says, as you brush herb butter over top of dinner rolls. You keep your eyes on the plate, shrugging.

“I’m alright. The holidays are always a toss-up.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re never really what they were when I was younger. But I think I’ve learned to stop expecting that. It’s nice, adulthood. Just different. I have you, " you say, and you're quick to elaborate. "And the team. It’s just different.”

He inches closer to you, elbow brushing yours as he slices into a sweet potato. You don’t miss his closeness, the way he tries to soothe you with simple proximity. You certainly don’t miss the fact that it works.

“That’s a good way to put it.” The table should feel small, intimate, but it doesn’t. It’s normal, casual. Spencer jokes about your mutual disinterest in football and tells you about the history of green bean casserole and you make a sizable dent in the meal you prepared. There’ll be plenty of leftovers, which is perfect for slightly forgetful young adults who are never home to make dinner.

“Did you find the wishbone?”

“No, why?” He looks genuinely curious, so you give him the benefit of the doubt.

“It’s like a game. Whoever finds it first gets the wish.” You prop your face on your hands, watching as he peers at the turkey dish.

“Oh. Uh, it’s right here. Do you want it?” You purse your lips into a tight smile, shaking your head. “You can have it.” You only really want him to wish for one thing, and it’s selfish. He considers the bone, blanched and curved, for a moment before he nods.

“Okay. I made my wish.”

Later, you have a massive amount of dishes to do. Spencer disappears into the living room for a moment, and you don bright yellow gloves and really get down to business. There’s music playing from a Bluetooth speaker on the shelf, and you’ve taken to doing a half-shuffle while you scrub at pots and pans. You don’t remember how you notice that he’s back, only that he catches you in the middle of a pirouette.

Spencer’s in the doorway to the kitchen, and he’s staring at you.

You flush a little, embarrassed. There is nothing special to look at; you’re wearing a cashmere sweater that you’ve had since college, and there’s probably food in your hair. Still, he seems frozen in time, like he is seeing you for the first time.

“I’ve never seen your hair like that.”

He doesn’t blush; he is simply stating a fact, regardless of how loaded it feels. You find it within yourself to shrug, cheeks burning. It is a miracle, how he finds something special in the way you pinned it back, purely to keep it out of your face.

“Really?” You croak, but the tail end of the word is lost as he takes a step forward. You are just looking at each other, and you attempt to resume the task of scrubbing at the gravy boat to give yourself something to do. Anything to do. You are incredibly unsuccessful, though, because after you look up you meet Spencer’s eye. A stroke of dumb luck, but before you react he’s closed the gap between you and is hugging you more tightly than you’ve ever been hugged.

You only register the feeling for a moment, the spark of heat against your chest. Like a candle flickering in the wind. It’s almost negligible, almost forgettable. The only complication is how familiar it is, how often you’ve felt the swell of emotion that threatens to spill out of you now, as he holds you. You aren’t afraid that you won’t be able to conceal it; you’ve gotten this far. You’re afraid that if you hide it for long enough, you’ll lose hold of it.

It’s your worst fear that it will never feel like this again, that you dreamed this whole thing up and when you wake up in January you won’t be able to conjure it again. What if your memory of it fades? Maybe with someone else you’d get close, but it won’t ever be quite like this. You aren’t sure of much as you listen to his heart beat quickly against the shell of your ear, like it has nowhere to be except right here, but you’re sure that it will never quite be like this.

You pull away, and the second you meet his eye you know it’s over. The other shoe drops. The moment passes like the closing of a book, like you were both thinking the same thing, and before you can get the word ‘yes’ past your lips he’s moved to cup your face in his hands. You cross your arms around his neck, and before either of you can think too hard about it, you meet each other in the middle. It’s the first time you’ve been hugged first and kissed second.

Before, you wondered how different it would be. A purely scientific thought—behind closed doors, what would change? With nobody there to see, how would it feel to kiss him?

It’s not what you expected. While it’s not your first-ever kiss, it’s the first kiss you’ve really let yourself feel—the press of his hands against the small of your back, his skin against yours, the cool counter against your side.

Nothing changes at all.

He presses a chaste kiss to your cheek before moving to your jaw, breath hot and flush against your skin. He’s backed you into a corner, the counter hard against your back, the gravy boat long since abandoned in the sink. It’s incredibly difficult to form coherent thoughts; you let your head fall back as he peppers your neck with hot kisses, sending shivers down your spine. You ball your hands in the collar of his shirt and pull him to you, and he follows. You hear the clink of glass against ceramic as he presses you into the counter, hungry and wanton. As you wind your hands into his hair, trying to memorize the feeling of a curl wrapped around your finger, you wonder how you let yourself miss out for this long.

He pulls away for air after a moment, pupils half-blown and breathless. A sheepish smile settles onto your face as his gaze travels to your neck. When you lean back in, hands poised to hold him, he hesitates.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” Ice courses through your veins as he begins to pace around the kitchen, ruffling his hair. He pauses to look at you again, bright red as he rubs at his own neck. Like the place where he’s marked you will appear, a mirror image, on him.

“We’re just making this difficult for ourselves, if we do this.”

“What the fuck, Spencer? What did I do?” You hate the way your voice is wavering, how helpless you sound. Your grip tightens on the counter.

“You can’t look at me like that and expect me not to—” he pauses, grimacing. “Please don’t look at me like that.”

“I can’t look at the man I—” You catch yourself before the last word slips out, biting back disaster. “Can’t I just look at you? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t—we can’t—I wasn’t thinking.”

This breaks your heart in two neat pieces. You want to hand him one—it’s his to keep, anyways.

“Okay.” You say, slow and measured. He seems more panicked now that you’ve agreed, face reddening as he adjusts the collar of his shirt. Your hands were there just a few minutes ago.

“Okay.”

“We can’t. Not while we’re alone.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You can feel anger begin to bubble up from somewhere dormant, a tight smile on your face. “That’s the deal, isn’t it?”

He lingers, eyes wide and still panting. Your eyes trail from his hands, clenched into fists, to the door.

“You should go.”

taglist <3

@sadsonglistener @idonotexiste @reidsacademia @everyonesfavoritepipecleaner @rebeccasoutlook @reidmyspencer @i-love-spencer @stardustspence @jenny885108-blog @deakyjoe @lovesdarkness @theteapotmoth @wifeyprentiss @rexorangecouny @kuolonsyoja @drayshadow @measure-in-pain @allybatch @reidonfilm @luredwithpretzels @thatsonezesty13 @ceridwen-02 @the-chaotic-cow @thedancingnerdmermaid @just-another-persona123 @aanubisbackwards @forever-not-gonna-sink @whentheskiesareblue @spencersjello @averyhotchner @happymangospot

[franeridart]

Anon said: i love love love LOVE how you just draw gojo leaning onto getou, hiding his face in getou's neck or back or chest <////3 im just so heartbroken over those two

So glad to hear you like him clingy as much as I do!! TT^TT as far as I’m concerned he wasn’t clingy enough in canon, so I’m fixing it as much as I can with every new doodle haha

Anon said: whenever im sad i just come to your account and look through your art :")) it brings me so much comfort :')) also i gotta mention that the teacher getou art you've made has healed my broken heart bc of jjk and now that is the only canon i accept thank you very much gege akutami has nothing on me

GAH GETO-SENSEI MY ONE AND ONLY I’m happy he makes you as soft as he does me, he’s such a comfort to me ;;;; and thank you for liking my stuff!!!! Means the world to me to hear it ;A; <3

Anon said: I miss your krbk sm 😔 No pressure intended!!!!!! I still love and support u and ur art!!!

Man I miss them too!!!!! @ hori when are you bringing my loves back from the war I’m here waiting good sir!!!

Anon said: v v curious on your thoughts on what’s currently going on in bnha manga :)))

HMMM what are my thoughts on it? Well, let’s split it in two: Deku’s side and Todoroki’s side, because that’s how it’s split in my brain atm, and allow me to start from the second because it’s easier to get through for me

I’m in love with everything Hori is doing with Todoroki and everyone involved with him - that’s to say his whole whole family and Hawks and Jeanist too, all of it, I’m so into it it’s no joke at all. Always been in love with how he handles Enji’s character and his interactions with his family and the latest developments didn’t disappoint me at all, wasn’t very much into Dabi right after the “reveal” but the more I think about it and about the story from his pov the more behind it I am, forever and always head over heels for Shouto’s way of dealing with a situation that’s as complex as one would expect from a protagonist of their very own story you could really make a manga out of the Todoroki’s family plot from Shouto’s pov alone, it’s incredible I can’t state how in love with it all I am enough. And Hawks, don’t make me start on him I’ll straight up never stop, absolutely and most definitely my favorite pro-hero I would trust him with my money and my kids 100/10 just assume I’m constantly crying over him. Also Jeanist is just hilarious so bless him and his presence in an otherwise too heavy story

Deku’s side........ well, the main problems I have with it are that one, I don’t really understant the need to keep ofa a secret from the class for the biggest part of the story when the reveal wasn’t forced upon Deku, didn’t have a huge impact on him or his relationship with the others (his leaving wasn’t directly caused by him coming clean after all, he wouldn’t have had to leave earlier had he not kept it a secret and he would have still left at this point had the class already known all along) and didn’t, like. Matter. All that much. Two, this manga is called my hero academia and I’m genuinely starting to wonder why. What was the point of all the arcs set inside the school anyway? Most of the characters growth (Deku’s especially) and the progression of the main plot happened in the arcs outside of the school anyway, and at this point it’s clear we’re not going back to the school after this or even seeing anyone graduate. What of Shinsou? What was the point of his plot when we’re not even gonna see him being active part of the class in a school environment? I’m just confused about it all, I guess. Three, which is really my biggest problem with it all, is the way Deku’s set on saving Shigaraki. It’s not like I don’t like a story in which all the villains are saved and the good guys win and love prevails and all that, call it corny but they’re exactly my type of stories, but I’m not sure I can get behind it when Twice died like that, and Midnight did as well, and Aizawa lost a leg, and Nighteye died, and Hawks might have lost his wings, and Shirakumo ended up Kurogiri and it’s still unclear whether he can be saved, like... why does Shigaraki get to be saved when so many people suffered like that? And it’s not only about them suffering by his hands, it’s about Hori and how he was ruthless with so many characters but lets the story show arbitrary kindness to Shigaraki alone, it’s all... well. Unfair. The way I see it. At this point I at the very least expect kindness for Touya as well, here.

That said if I pick the chapters one by one by themselves I do enjoy them very much. I just don’t gotta think about the big picture lmao AH but it’s all a personal opinion, of course! I know people who enjoy the way the story is going and I can see where they’re coming from, this is all arbitrary tastes and preferences on my part, I’m aware of it!

Anon said: Hi hi! I finally got into jjk AND finally caught up on the manga and i appreciate your doods soooo much more now!! They’re so great!! But imcurious, is there one specific moment in the story where you Gojo and Geto became IT for you? Just genuinely curious!!

THANK YOU happy to hear you liked jjk!!!! And that’s!!! a great question, I’m not sure I have an answer actually? I binged the manga in a day and a half, you see, and when I binge stuff that fast I rarely stop to overthink things - I did ship them as I read too since, well. They’re in love lmao but I shipped them in the same way I shipped itafushi or yuutoge after I read the prequel, you know? Just a general aknowledging of how good they were together. The main point with satosugu specifically was probably that satoru has been my favorite character since the beginning of the story and suguru got there as well as soon as I read their backstory, so once I was caught up they’re the ones I ended up spending the most time thinking about, both by themselves and together, and that ended up making me a bit obsessed..... just a bit lol

If I had to give one specific moment that got me by the heart and squeezed the hardest it’d be... probably Satoru’s “my soul knows otherwise”. And the way his voice alone could bring Suguru back, even for just a single moment. The thing about satosugu for me!!! one of the many things about them, but the main thing for me, is that they love each other. Be it platonic or however you wanna see it, they love each other. Despite everything and after it all, even if Satoru had to kill Suguru, even if Suguru killed so many and betrayed Satoru and they went their separate ways in the harshest of ways, they love each other. It’s insane, isn’t it? That they’d love each other so much they could pass over everything and anything. I’ve seen the “best friends become enemies” trope so often in shounen manga, but this is the first time I see it treated like this - with love so strong that they never blamed each other or turned that love in hate. The way satosugu do it is all-encompassing! It goes beyond the world and their differences and death itself! So if I had to pick it’d be that one, because that scene happens after it’s all over, and it all went to shit and way beyond too already, and still their souls resonate with each other and answer to each other and that sends me insane, just thinking about it. Like, god, they really still love each other. Satoru’s mourned for Suguru for a year, Suguru’s been dead for a year, they’d been separated ten whole years before then, and still! And still!!! It’s so tender I don’t know how to deal with it

Anon said: “What’s a god to a nonbeliever?”—That tag is going to haunt me for a while. The entire tag section for your latest Gojo and Geto drawing is meta-worthy.

THANK YOU it’d been eating at my brain I had to write it down somewhere why are those two like that

Anon said: Do you take commissions? No pressure! ✨❤️

Not right now!

Anon said: How do you feel about sukuna ? like/dislike or thoughts on him

AMAZING QUESTION I love him. I have absolutely zero clue as of why so don’t ask me to elaborate, I’m literally that marge pic with the potato when it’s about Sukuna, I have no meta thoughts about him nor deep reasonings behind it - by all accounts, I should dislike him! But he shows up and I’m like nghhh king, so that’s where we stand. It’s Sukuna, you know. I just think he’s neat.

Anon said: sighs time to get into another fandom bc i simp too hard for ur art 😔

HAH thank you for the trust I hope you’ll like ror if you do get into it!!! hahaha

[masterweaverx]

RWBY Parents from Best to Worst

That’s right, everybody, I’m a-going to rank how terrible these people are to and for their kids! For the sake of covering as many parents as I can, I am defining ‘parent’ as either ‘legal guardian’ or ‘the one that gave birth to you’, and excluding relationships that are explicitly something else. That does mean that we’re going to miss out on some very important people, though, so before we begin, let’s have some Honorable Mentions!

Yang Xiao Long and Winter Schnee: Professional Momsisters

“That’s why big sisters come first, to protect the ones that come after.” I don’t know who said that to these two, if anybody actually did, but it’s a quote that most definitely applies to them. Not only would they take a bullet (or a sword, or a fireball) for their younger siblings, they took the time out to give them affection and training that they needed when their own parents weren’t quite doing the job. If I absolutely had to rank one of them as the better momsister, I’d say Yang, but that’s really only because Yang had less to deal with overall; a depressed single dad not being able to pull himself together just doesn’t stack up with an abusive powermonger, a self-loathing drunkard, and all the institutional bigotry and pressure of Atlas. Plus, you know, Winter went into the military for a bit. Still, pretty good track record considering!

Klein Sieben: Doing the work of seven good dads

Look, there is only one reason Klein wasn’t listed before the momsisters, and that reason is that he is technically the hired help (and could therefore become the fired help). He is, hands down, a better surrogate parent than Yang and Winter, providing guidance and care to all the Schneeblings and very effectively undoing the damage Jacques Gele (HE DOES NOT GET TO BE CALLED SCHNEE!) did to them. And he even helped out Willow! If he was allowed to do more, he would absolutely be My Real Dad of the year.

Qrow Branwen: “The only one that gets to be sad in this house is me!”

Qrow has a lot of flaws. Like, so so many flaws. As Yang said in a noncanon spinoff, he’s cool but not exactly a role model. Thing is, you don’t have to be a role model to be a good parent--you just have to make sure your kids (or nieces in this case) get good advice and the opportunity to grow into the best versions of themselves they can be. And when Qrow’s not beating himself up or drowning his sorrows, he’s actually very good at helping Yang and Ruby. Honestly the only reason he’s not on the actual list is because he’s technically not a parent.

Uncle Copper: Adopting a blind kid automatically makes you cool

So here we have a character that appeared in a single flashback in the novels, but from what we do know he was pretty likely to be a good guy. Like, raising a blind kid is hard enough; raising a blind kid in a desert after their actual parents got nommed by sand is so, so much more difficult. And yet, this guy said ‘If nobody else is going to adopt this kid I will!’ and by all measures he was a very caring and loving guy. Also, shout-out to the tribe, who took Fox in after Copper got killed by some maniac (and also killed said maniac). Fox has had a rough life, but it’s been filled with supportive people. Not everyone can say that.

Starr Sanzang: She put up with Sun

Sure, she’s only had one scene in one novel, but Starr showed patience and caring and... probably did a lot to make sure Sun stays as aggressively cheery and patient as he is. Plus she’s got a dojo in Vacuo now... okay, I’ll be honest, I don’t know nearly enough about her to really assess her. Still, as far as cousins go, Sun Wukong could do a lot worse. And there are the implications of their motifs to factor in...

Rhodes: If you’d done even just a little bit more--!

So, reasonably, what would you do when you see a little girl enslaved with a shock collar? Would you (A) get the girl out of there, (B) arrest the woman doing it, (C) try to get the girl therapy, or (D) all of the above? If you picked (E) secretly train the girl in swordplay so she can join a huntsman academy when she comes of age, then congratulations! You’ve given her hope! Good for you! And what if she snaps after five years of literal torture, kills her abuser, and then turns to you for comfort and/or approval? Welp, obviously she’s an irredeemable criminal and you have to bring her in, crushing all the faith she had in you and herself.

Seriously Rhodes, dropped the ball hard on that one. I’m only mentioning you because you had such a serious impact on Cinder’s development.

Brother Gods: Creating and destroying entire species

Like, okay. Look. These are the two that made humanity, so an argument could be made that they’re humanity’s parents. But, by the strict and arbitrary rules I have selected, they aren’t parents. And even if they were, they would be just the worst sort of parents possible. Darkbro is bad enough, what with viewing only strength as valuable and creating the Grimm and, you know, annihilating humanity that one time, but he’s at least honest and honorable. Not like the cryptic Lightbro, who doesn’t bother making sure people understand him, who doesn’t even keep his own promises to his brother... I get that they’re basically overpowered children. Yeah, they are. Still... kinda terrible.

So, now that that’s all done, let’s get to the actual list! After the break, so you don’t get stuck scrolling a lot. RWBY parents, from best to worst, are as follows:

23. Saphron and Terra Cotta-Arc: Two moms are better than none!

If I’m rating all the parents, and I am, then I have to acknowledge their flaws. And... these two don’t have any! Okay, fine, they used Adrian in a criminal scheme that one time (and that was literally just asking him to cry on command) and maybe Terra’s overworked and, to be fair, parenting a young kid is a lot different than parenting a teenager. But not only did they support their kid, they helped out all the kids that needed to room with them for a while! Saphron may also qualify as a momsister, depending on how well the Arcs managed their massive-numbered horde of kids. Look, the point is: Excellent parents. Bam.

22. Yatsuhashi's Parents: Their slipups weren’t their fault

When your kid can wipe your memories and you don’t know about it, you’re bound to get a few mistakes down the line. Luckily for everyone, after the whole incident with Hiyoko Yatsu came clean, and his parents made absolutely sure that he understood (A) that having such an ability was a big responsibility and (B) that even though he really screwed up he was NOT evil. Given the man that Yatsuhashi is now, I’m pretty confident in calling them great parents--even if they only appeared in a book flashback.

21. Coco's Dad: He exists!

That’s... honestly all I really know about him. He’s mentioned once in the books, and Coco has a few brothers. I’m kind of just assuming he’s a good parent from that, even if he didn’t figure out how to help Coco with her claustrophobia. So... yeah, shrug, Coco’s got a dad.

20: Ghira and Kali Belladonna: Actually marvelous people

Loving. Caring. Mentoring, protective. You may be asking why these two aren’t lower on the list, given that they are absolutely great for Blake, and I’ll have to admit that they only really made one slipup--letting Adam talk with Blake.

And okay, look. The thing about people like Adam is that they don’t start out showing their true colors. It’s always a slow, gentle broil. Blake was young and stupid, Adam was cute and edgy, and these parents want their daughter to be happy. So not twigging on what Adam really was--or at least not being able to properly convince Blake--that’s entirely understandable. And they did instill her with a strong enough moral code to leave when enough was enough, and they absolutely welcomed her back with open arms. Frankly, if the lower-listing parents didn’t exist, I would happily say they are the best parents in the show.

19. Pietro Polendina: He took Penny’s death flags

When you carve out part of your literal soul to bring your girl back from the dead, you get MAJOR parenting props. And even beyond that, Pietro is an absolutely caring and supportive father to everyone’s favorite bundle of sunshine. Even when she’s put in the rough position she was in, Pietro did his best to help her out. His one big flaw, though, is being overprotective and a bit presumptive. He does want Penny to live her best life, but he also can be just a touch too quick to say he knows what’s best for her. To his credit, when he’s called out on it, he does mend his ways. And he’s at least better then the GENERAL...

18. Salem and Ozma: Good parents, surprisingly!

Sure, Salem decided that world conquest was a good idea and wanted to put down anybody that wasn’t directly from her bloodline. Sure, she psychologically manipulated her husband when he had doubts. And, being fair, it’s highly likely that her four daughters were killed in the crossfire of her and Ozma’s little tuff. But! That was likely an accident, she’s been shown to still clearly mourn their passing, and before that point she absolutely loved and adored the girls. Ozma gets points for being a generally good person who fell in love with her before she became unstable and, honestly, was just trying to help his girls escape... and hey, he blames himself for their deaths. As does Salem.

Just because they’re kind of directly responsible for a LOT of Remnant’s woes doesn’t mean they aren’t good parents!

17. Will and Meg Scarlatina: Estranged but loving...

Yes, I know Rooster Teeth hasn’t officially confirmed that Bill is Will. I still believe though! Also it makes for a great picture, in any case.

Look, you can be the best and most loving parents ever--and from what we saw in the novels Will was definitely loving--but if you split up, your kid is going to get a little stressed. And hey, it’s not like these two were terrible people! Velvet’s just got a lot going on because of things entirely out of her control. Parents are people too, but sometimes the stress of one situation will leak out into another. Just... give people time to adapt.

16. Nicholas Schnee: The man, the legend, the titan!

Nicholas Schnee is the rockstar success story of Remnant. Some guy from Mantle put in all the work to make the SDC, and honestly from what little we know about him he was probably a great guy! But if we’re registering parental goodness, well... he wasn’t quite smart enough to warn Willow away from abusive gold diggers, and he’s not present when the story starts. So, yeah, even if he was a good parent otherwise--and I think he would be--he kinda... didn’t put in the work to prevent Willow breaking later. Still. Not deliberately terrible!

15. Li and An Ren: Don’t die in front of your kids, folks!

Seriously, it traumatizes them, especially if there’s a Grimm assault going on at the same time. Oh, double-especially if you reassure them that everything will be fine literally the second before the roof collapses on your head. And... well, okay, you couldn’t help your son and some random girl being the only survivors...

In all seriousness, that whole situation was absolutely out of their control. And before their deaths they were shown to be loving, wise, giving good advice to Lie Ren and helping him understand what the right thing to do was. Honestly, if they hadn’t died in front of him he’d be a lot better, mentally speaking. His trauma is not their fault. Plus Li went out distracting the big Grimm so Lie could run. No greater love hath man, indeed.

14. Summer Rose: Loving mother, ticking trauma bomb

When she was around, Summer Rose was probably the best mom Yang and Ruby could ask for. Sure, everyone could be exaggerating a little on how great a person she was--fond memories and grief can do that--but even taking that into account, she was probably a great and wonderful woman to be raised by. And hey, it turns out the reason she vanished was to go confront basically the Devil Herself so her kids wouldn’t have to live in a world where she existed! I can totally get the logic behind that.

And to be fair, “I’m going to do this on my own so nobody else suffers” is a pretty common character flaw among the RWBY cast. There are entire arcs where each character learns to overcome it. Still, wandering off on your lonesome without telling anyone was not the smartest move, Summer. Especially if you expected to die--which, you know, Devil Herself, high probability. And you know, if you had died, that would be bad enough, but now Ruby’s practically certain to have to fight your grimmified self. At least she figured out what happened to you before Salem decided to hammer in the trauma button, so she’ll be a little more ready, but... seriously.

13. The Arc Parents: Look, you try juggling eight kids!

To be fair, neither Arc parent has appeared on screen, but we can derive some of their traits from their kids. Jaune’s father said women like confident men. Jaune’s mother said strangers are friends you haven’t met yet. Jaune’s sister moved out of the house and (it’s implied) was happier for it. Jaune himself took his family’s ancestral weapon and ran off to Beacon to become a hero without any training whatsoever....

I get the impression that these two are not horrible parents, but they aren’t really stellar ones either. They slip up, don’t understand their children, give some really bad advice (as well as really good advice), and... look, it’s kind of middle of the road here. The Arcs could be wonderful people that just weren’t ready for the complexities of raising eight kids. I come from a big family myself, I know it can be stressful. And their kids turned out well anyway, so...

12. The Mother of Pyrrha Nikos: You taught your girl too well

Hero complexes are funny things. And Pyrrha Nikos... in retrospect, she was really hiding a lot of insecurities under that facade. Laying it all at this woman’s feet is unfair, I’ll admit, a lot of that came from being The Mistral Champion. But... with stories and fairy tales of heroes, it’s not hard to imagine a genuinely loving mother making sure her daughter knew right from wrong, always knew to act with mercy and protect the weak, and made her hardline into being a hero at the cost of her own... sense of self. It wouldn’t even be something either of them noticed, really. Good people can make bad choices sometimes.

11: Ilia's Parents: Oh god, can good people make bad choices...

So the idea of getting Ilia up to Atlas for a better life, that rocks (if you assume the propaganda to be true). And I’m certain her parents absolutely did what they did out of love. But what they did, you see, was tell Ilia to hide a very important part of herself from anybody who could find out, since it was likely she would be kicked out of the school she was in if people found out she was a faunus.

Which actually, did a lot of damage.

I mean look at Ilia now! She has trouble expressing herself until she explodes, she follows a crowd instead of her own morals, she broke down in tears when she finally did the right thing... Conceal Don’t Feel is never good advice, and these two went on and said ‘Honey, because of racism, you have to hide the fact you literally change color when you have emotions.’ Oh, and then they died offscreen--again, not their fault, but boy howdy did it give Ilia a complex.

10. Taiyang Xiao Long: Slumped at just the wrong time

Honestly, Tai as he is now is a wonderful dad. Supportive of his daughters in their time of need, able to lift their mood with a tasteless joke or two, frankly if we were assessing just how they were in the moment... I’d still be a little critical of his refusal to talk about the girls’ mothers, but hey, that’s minor. Compared to, you know...

Okay, so this needs serious addressing. Taiyang cannot be blamed for falling into a depressive slump. People can hurt, and need time to heal. That said, his depressive slump is at the root of Yang’s many issues, and frankly if she hadn’t had to pull herself together for Ruby she would be a major mess. It’s a bad situation all round, even if it’s not his fault.

9. Willow Schnee: “Kids, don’t wind up like me.”

Drowning her sorrows isn’t the best way to handle being stuck in an abusive marriage, but it was the best way Willow could think of. And, yeah, that really cut into her skills as a mom... but despite that, she did her darnedest to make sure her kids had what they needed to free themselves. Heck, once Jacques was out of the picture, she even pulled herself together and risked her life to save them! A broken women, to be sure, but not a shattered one.

8. Neptune's Mother: She exists!

Being fair, there’s not a lot to go on here. We know Neptune’s mother is a lawyer (insert evil lawyer joke), that their family are famous swimmers, and that his brother caused his hydrophobia by tossing him into the water. It does paint a bit of a picture, though, of everyone having expectations for Neptune that he was not able to live up to. Pretty poor parenting, if it’s true.

7. Nora Valkyrie's Mom: Come get your girl!

Literally the only factoid we have about Mama Valkyrie is that she abandoned her to the Grimm. We don’t know when this was, and it’s feasible it’s a case of ‘Oh No I Lost Track Of My Daughter In The Panic!’ But given we see young Nora scavenging for scraps of food... I’m not optimistic on her parenting skills.

6. Raven Branwen: "I wasn’t part of your life, how could I ruin it?”

Raven is just not a good mom at all. And, surprisingly, she seems to know it. Or that’s one interpretation of her character. The thing about Raven is that she plays her cards close to chest. We still don’t know why she left her daughter, and we only have inklings about the reasoning behind her behavior once they reunited. In the end, though... she did concede to Yang, she did apologize for something, and there’s a very deliberate indication that a lot of her behavior is a mask to both others and herself. So, terrible mother, for the moment, but self-aware.

5. Salem's Father: Explicitly noted as cruel

We get a bit more about Salem’s father from ‘Fairy Tales Of Remnant’, how he became possessive of the last remnant of his wife and locked her away in a tower. From what we know of him, that’s all he did--lock her away and not let her go. Still makes him a terrible dad. And with this, we transition firmly into the most definitively abusive parent figures. Everyone before this might have the excuse of not realizing what was going on or having their own damage, but now we’ve got parents actively deciding to make their kids’ lives worse.

4. Jacques Gelé: HE DOES NOT GET TO BE CALLED SCHNEE!

His children are property, to be manipulated and traded for the benefit of the company he married into, and any defiance is to be quelled instantly. He is manipulative, scheming, abusive, and frankly the worst sort of scumbag to ever wear a white suit. He does have the single redeeming quality of only leaning into the punishment if it benefits him; nobody would ever accuse the man of being needlessly cruel. His name is Jacques, and you will hate him... especially on the rare occasions he actually has a point.

3. The Marigolds: There’s no peppy tagline, they’re just mean

There’s not a picture of these jerks on the wiki, so you’ll have to make do with the woman that is no longer their daughter. See all that empty space around her? That’s about as close as they ever got. May spells out how much they hated her for having a heart, and how little they cared about her as a person, in one epic line. And even if they have other redeeming qualities (unlikely) we can tell they’d probably still be terrible parents because of how sleazy May’s cousin is. Honestly, for once I’m glad some characters don’t get pictures. They don’t deserve to be remembered. They aren’t even the cool kind of evil, they’re just... gross.

2. Marcus Black: Look if you train your kid to be a killer...

...you’re going to have to expect them to kill you. I mean, you basically ripped apart Mercury’s legs, man. He had to get cyberlegs. Also, you used your semblance to steal his. Which, given that semblances come from aura, and that aura is a manifestation of the soul, is kinda... that’s a deeply personal and intimate violation. Sure, you got your assassin kid. And can we talk about the fact that Marcus was an assassin? It’s not a pretty job. I guess I can see all the abuse--physical and mental--as a good way to train up another assassin, but... geeze, if that’s your goal, why did you use your own kid?! Why not hire some angsty teenager?! Yeah, no, Markus Black stood high on my list of parental monsters... and was only toppled by the arrival of one other.

1. Madame of the Glass Unicorn: She only appeared in one episode and she rocketed to the top of this list, that should tell you something

Let’s be clear here: What Madame did to Cinder is bad enough. It was literally slavery. Enforced by a shock collar. And because the collar looked like a necklace, she pulled it off in front of I don’t know how many clients. Granted, said clients were racists, why else would they be customers at a ‘We Do Not Serve Faunus’ hotel, but keeping her torture just out of the public eye very clearly shows both that she knew what she was doing was illegal and that she was clever enough to avoid detection.

Oh... and then there are her birth daughters.

With Cinder, she was abusive to a dangerous degree. With her daughters, she was permissive, not only allowing but encouraging them to bully their adoptive sister. The whole point of parenthood is to teach your children how to become the best version of themselves, but Madame didn’t even bother to instill a semblance of morality in these girls. She used them as extensions of her will, and they obliviously played along because that was all they knew.

You’d think the biggest monster on the show would be the Grimm woman, but no--it’s some random lady with a hotel.

[washymylifeaway]

Haikyuu Angst fanfic recs

EDIT: I added in the ships for each fic LOL, prolly should’ve done it like that from the beginning smh my bad :’)))))

EDIT 2: I made a pt 2 linked HERE

No one asked me to do this, but I’m providing it anyway because we all need a little angst in our lives. Right? Anyway, this entire thing is going to be something you need to read warnings, tags, and summaries in advanced because everything here will be angst. Anyhoo, in no particular order, here comes the sadness... And also don’t come at me for putting fics I’ve recommended in the past,,,, it’s an angst post I have to put all of them.

WARNING: Almost all of these fics deal with either some sort of death, trauma, or mental illness so please I BEG OF YOU to proceed with caution. Also in NO way am I romanticizing any of these things, these fics recs are merely pieces I thought were written extremely well, and that portray major events from multiple perspectives skillfully. If you are struggling, please contact a hotline and get help, you are never in this alone!

National Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia (E) 91.5k /MatsuHana/ is it possible to hate a character this much? I never realized how much hate/rage I had in me. Really. Like. Imma boutta fight this MF LIKE SQUARE UP. The way I tried to manifest a fake characters death like,,,, Anyway. If my RAGE doesn’t explain how good of a freakin writer they are, then idk what will. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

In Another Life by LittleLuxray (T) 23k /BokuAka/ it’s a classic, what can I say? You into some BokuAka angst? Here’s the fic. Go right ahead. Don’t be shy :’)

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony (T) 30.9k /KuroKen/ again, a classic. We do love a good soulmate AU tho :)))))))

^^ I didn’t write much here cause I wrote my general thoughts on a different post (linked here) so yea it’s not that I don’t like the fic, it’s just that I didn’t want to be more redundant than I already am LOL.

Oikawa's Last Wish/es by DanaiaCake (G) 5.1k /IwaOi/ this one, man it’s short but painful LOL. Proof that angst doesn’t have to be long to completely break you ahhahah. It actually has a sequel (which is less angsty), but yea if you like finish this fic and are like broken, read it for some.... glue?

The Sky and Guilt Are the Only Feelings I Have Left by oopsthisisqueertoo (NR) 267.7k /BokuAkaKuroo/ ngl I picked it up as a rec from someone else after misreading that it was THIS long haha. But like I kept reading, and the suspense omg. It HAS a happy ending, so if you’re reading it and you start to feel empty, push through (tho take breaks) and finish because it DOES end HAPPY. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

Made to be Broken by todxrxki (T) 8.1k /KuroKen/ this one focuses more on the after than the build up, and it made me so sad (as it should cause this is literally an angst fic rec post smh @ myself). I usually don’t cry too much but this one made the waterworks turn ON. Sighhhhhhhhhhh. Bless Akaashi.

Even Though it All Went Wrong by plumtrees (T) 9.2k /MatsuHana/ THIS IS THE REASON THIS POST CAME TO BE. I love this fic with all my heart (or what’s left of it). Like LOVE as in, this fic really broke me beyond just breaking me. Like. When Oikawa says what he says to Mattsun after the thing (you’re sorry __ _____ __ ____) and the Iwa right after (we know __’__ ___ ______ to make you ____ __ ____) (if you’re wondering wtf I’m putting here, just ctrl F you’re sorry and you’ll see), you cannot believe how hard that hit. GOD. (I am okay if you’re wondering :’)) This is my #1 favorite angst fic of all time and if you are okay mentally and have read the tags and warnings and are fine with them, then please read it. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (M) 15.7k /SakuAtsu/ THE MUG FIC. There was a sequel and when I saw that it took me another week to read it cause I was like,,, am I ready to have my heart break again? No LOL. But the sequel is actually not as angst, so if you want like a semi-broken whatever, just read the sequel LOL. It’s so sad and it made me physically hurt every time someone even mentioned mugs afterwards (LOL why am I so dramatic but it’s the truth :///). Go ahead and hurt with me.

Crumbling Foundations by Captain_Hughes_ZU, ToshiChan (T) 106.3k /MULTI/ I was debating whether or not to put this fic cause it actually doesn’t even have the angst tag (which I personally think it should). Honestly, it’s more a trauma fic than an angst fic idk I just wanted to put it somewhere because it’s written super well and although it was technically a ‘happy ending’ the interviews after prove else. Despite only being rated T, it’s got some intense TW so (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

arbitrary nature of thought. by wadingpool (NR) 5.6k /SunaOsa/ this....... ah... ahh.... The pain...... I really love the SunaAtsu friendship agenda. The ending was happy (I keep doing this LOL) but the build up to the break,,,,, AHHHH. Yea the ending was really heartwarming....... BUT THE BEGINNING. Yea it really jumbled me up..... JFLJDSFLKJHDLFHS

How To Be A Kick-Ass Brother: A Guide by Miya Atsumu by Egosdelirium (E) 25k /SakuAtsu + SunaOsa/ what personal vendetta do I have against Osamu? Nothing, literally nothing he just happens to always suffer in the fics I choose oops. This fic is one I really like, and it portrays the close outsider’s perspective on a horrific event really well. I was iffy on putting this in because it’s not really the angst type I was going for (more death less trauma?) but I really liked this fic, and while I was making my end note, I kept thinking about it so yea. Atsumu best boy. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

You might be thinking, done already? Wellllllll there were a lot of fics where I decided against putting them on (cause I felt like it didn’t really match what I wanted to be recommending but idk what the theme was LOL oops but yea I would look at a fic and think well it is angst but not the right TYPE of angst y’know?) and I really hate reading angst (there’s a lot of days where I shouldn’t cause my mental health said no thanks LOL). Also I wanted like FULL angst fics, but most of them have like happy endings (which made some of these iffy and is good but also it wasn’t what I wanted to put :////) So yes, I may add to this post (we’ll see) but like it’ll depend on whether I can convince myself that reading angst at 4 am is a good idea LOL. (pls recommend me some too!)