#it's 4am why am i thinking of this

[shithowdy]

realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.

... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.

[outletcrash]

just finished season 1, wowza! heres what john saw in the mirror

anyways i simplified john a whole lot for artistic purposes. i dont think a Great Old One would need a human-like form at all. cmon, cthulu shows up at family gatherings and his dad is literally extradimensional orbs. his true form def gets more human the more time he spends with arthur, but before that it was just unspeakably fucked.

(arthurs face in this is my favorite)

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again

[transimailisa]

“I can’t be angry with you…” Princess Alisa spoke before bending down to give a big kiss on Princess Anilaphat's clear cheeks. “However, you should never speak of renouncing your royal status again.”

“...”

“Can you promise me?” Princess Anilaphat only gave Mother a wry smile but didn’t say anything in response. “Hearing that, I almost suffocated to death.”

“...”

“You’re my heart and your father’s heart, don’t you know?”

“Whatever father and mother wish from me, no matter how hard it is, I’m willing to do it.” Princess Anilaphat moved her body away from the embrace to make eye contact with her mother easily. “Having to leave the country to study alone since I was a little kid and barely knew a thing, l did it. When I returned, mother didn’t want me to practice the profession I studied; fearing that I would be in dire straits, I continued my studies to become a teacher like father and mother intended me to be.”

“...”

“Why is the only thing I asked for… mother couldn't give me in return?"

“…”

“So, what is the point of having such a high rank if I cannot grab what I desire?”

“Anil… what you desire is inappropriate for you.”

“How inappropriate is that? Is it so easy to meet the person I love, Mother?”

-

i have been personally loving the work on adaptation the loyal pin has done on the show. the show is extremely loyal (lmao) to its source and all the changes provided do feel in line with the orignal work which is why i cant wait to see the last few episodes.

that being said there is a few changes that sometimes collapse in itself if you havent read the book (prince anan mentioning a past forbidden love or once again prince anan already knowing about anin and pins situation and when he has to confront anin about it in front of their mother and aunt patt) which all could be discussed about how you adapt a book. but i personally want to bring up something that is as trivial as one line in the book but to me !! it is a little nuance that feels too bad to be left out.

anin wanted to find a job in architecture upon returning to thailand but her parents (especially mother) didn’t let her.

the show and books make a beautiful cases to demonstrate how misogyny, class and homophobia are all deeply connected as being the great obstacle for anin and pin, together and both separately, each navigating a cage that is held above them even by their closest relatives.

and so comes the question of independence. financial independence. financial independence is truly one of the biggest shackles to be taken down when mentioning Anything related to self determination. because seeing anin more than willing to drop what gives her the most security in life for pin who knows what that non security implies, means that you must have at least what you must to be self sufficient.

anin wishing for this before the whole mess of pin’s engagement both shows how she already wanted to be independent as early as possible and that her parents, despite specifically sending her abroad for ‘more honorable studies’ and such do see anin getting a job in architecture as a Lesser way to live. because she would not be a comfortable as her current situation and inflict again their wishes on her on which job she should aim for while still remaining tied to them.

this detail is trivial and just one more line in the whole theme of the book of how misogyny ties women down to their position theyre supposed to fulfil, and have other women keep you in check of that. but it also comes with the whole realisation for anin of how despite the looks and support and liberties her class allows her to get, her gender will ultimately always be what societal expectations throws her back into. and that wish of financial independence prior to pin’s engagement shows that she was well aware of that, or at the very least in part, and was once again trying to sneak out of this hold.

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

I wish you could schedule messages I only remember to reply to texts at like 4am but people hate being texted at 4am so if I could write one at 4am and it sends itself at 9am that would be good I think

[svtskneecaps]

ok which one of you fuckers is going to write the sky high au where cellbit is warren peace and roier is layla williams or am i the only one here who's that flavor of crazy

[kil9]

everypony hates me for my complete and utter disrespect of authority

[rasberryt0rte]

Girl Riddler fandom if theirs a populous hiiiiiii I didn't check tags b4 hand so this is talking to the void or not roulette 🔥

Gaslighting my friends by only showing them my drawing of the Riddler so they can't say I'm low effort cosplaying when it's October and i have to be him

(ik she has glasses but I struggled super hard drawing them) ((I'm using the it's 4am excuse)) (((fullproof))) ((((also I have to like fight off the Danganronpa art style everytime I try and draw like default anime idk y my brain auto goes to that)))) ((((r63 Riddler for 2025))))

[maj0rmayhem]

Really feeling that post abt how yearning and loneliness is great until you're curled up on your bed whimpering at the ache in your chest like a wounded dog. are we cooked chat.

[lookforanewangle]

anybody have any recommendations for learning spanish, preferably mexican spanish? I want to be able to communicate with some of my coworkers better or like. at all. we have a few who aren't bilingual

and no duolingo 🗞️

[astranauticus]

really not beating the brainrot allegations but genuinely this line has been haunting my brain for ages

[the-spoingus-show]

my current project: jump forever!

this is the first of those scheduled posts i mentioned earlier!!! i figured i would start by talking about my current project - that way i can start posting updates about it without confusing you, Michael. The next post is gonna be about the beginning of this whole Godot thing i've been on, and then i'm thinking about maybe doing a Before Godot post as a bonus once i've talked about all my godot stuff (i love saying this as if anybody cares (besides you, Michael)). setting all that aside, though: this one's gonna need some backstory, so you should buckle in.

around this time last year, me and my little cousin (he's still in high school, but we've always been pretty close) got really competitive about a little game called Jump Forever. it's a side minigame from WarioWare Mega Microgames (the GBA one) where you just jump over a little rope until you fuck up. it's really fucking fun as an addictive little mobile game, and with a quick lil emulator it was one. thus, the addiction began.

truth be told, the phase last year didn't even last that long, but i had a long bus ride a couple of weeks ago and found myself opening the GBA emulator on my phone to pass the time. that led to a little bit of playing at home, which led to beating my cousin's score, which led to getting even more into the game than i was before. as our scores get higher, we've turned to better controllers than a phone touch screen for serious record attempts - i use a ds lite i had lying around (that i reshelled! it was very fun) and he emulates on pc with a controller (i think). this got me thinking about a potential "definitive edition" of the game - probably still on mobile, but with controller support, better touch controls (the game only needs <-, ->, and A!), faster resets, selectable skins, and maybe even unlockable skins? of course, when i finished my work on fnaf (ooh foreshadowing), my sights were immediately set on a Jump Forever remake.

with all that said, welcome to the game as it currently stands! at the moment, i've got wario, the rope swingers, and the score all just about set up, with one exception; the characters have collision, the rope swings (at varying speeds, even!), and wario's speed and physics feel very accurate - but i'm still working on the ai (if you can call it that) of the rope guys as they walk back and forth. i want it to work exactly the same way as it does in the original but i always overthink random mechanics like this. hopefully the next update i give will be about how i cracked it! even if the implementation ends up jank, though, it wouldn't be the first: the rope guys check if wario is too close to them to make it over the rope with an Area2D that just checks for wario when the rope hits the ground. it works! i could just like check wario's position in the code (and it'd probably be way more efficient), but this way just... works.

i still have a buncha crap i still gotta implement before the game's even really playable - the walking ai, the title screen, the little "Ready?" animation, etc. - but that's only the beginning of my work. firstly, i'm probably gonna enlist chloe (oooh foreshadowing) to help me out by drawing some new assets (if she's free, it is finals season), and then changing the game's native resolution from 240x160 (the GBA screen) to something not fucking insane. i've got "reworking all the sprites into easy to read spritesheets" on my to-do list, and after that, making the new assets (and then maybe the skins?) will be as easy as drag & drop. once it's got the new assets and all the polish that needs to come with a shiny new resolution, i'm gonna transition into the next phase - researching how to release a game!!!

[hi, not to ruin my own amazing transition but: it's 5am and i'm running back to edit this because i completely forgot to mention that i have currently implemented a 2 frame input delay on all inputs, because that's how the emulator appears to behave when i go frame by frame. every single day i rethink this decision more and more. surely there's no way that's how it's supposed to be, right? but i feel so weird changing it now!!! i definitely fucking have to though. next time i work on it. ok anyways]

now. i've posted games to itch.io before. but even then, i kind of fucked it up (i could never get the resolution of my web games to work right???) - so it's no surprise i've always been completely daunted by the idea of "releasing a game". when you post it on real stores, that's when it becomes... real. i'm excited about the new challenges it'll pose, though! now, a mobile release means a couple of things - bite sized fun, simple progression, and fun customization. i've already got the first part nailed down, and i figured i could nail the other 2 at once with a currency system based on how many points you get (or maybe even an xp system? that goes up 1 for each jump? maybe even both???) and skins (purchasable with said currency) that let you customize the player, rope swingers, background, and maybe even the rope itself.

pictured above is my stupid ass skins mockup (i literally just made this). the rope is rainbow, the background has a snow effect and a bunch of snow on the trees/ground (isn't it great?), wario is a lil version of the rope guys, and the rope guys have santa hats. i'm not sure how many different ropes you could really make with how i'm planning the rope to move, so i'll probably end up prototyping the graphics with chloe to figure out how to lay out the sprite sheets, and if they should actually have a seperate hand-grabbing-the-rope sprite for skin purposes. it'll definitely make things really confusing, but if i go for a mobile release i don't want to run ads, and so a currency you can buy with real money (and maybe one or two goofy supporter skins that cost real money, like a solid gold guy or something, as a form of donation) is a good way to make a lil bit of money from people who like the game.

all of this is fun to think about, but it's important to remember that the next thing i have to do is that walking ai. i've gotta Make The Fucking Game before i can do all this crazy other bullshit. i'm sure the ui design for all this is gonna be soooo fun, but i need a game to attach it to first :p

this went on reeeally long but i figure if this is a dev diary or w/e it's gonna end up running long no matter what, and the more info, the more i have to look back on fondly and say "oh shit, i know exactly when this was!", which is kind of the end goal of the project. of course, these incredibly long posts about shit that only matters to me are also incredible content for you, Michael, so i'm sure you're just eating this shit up. enjoy, you weird little man.

[spookykiity]

Going on a walk really gets the bowels moving. I woke up at 4 am and didn't know what else to do so I touched grass and I forgot. Doctors should prescribe walking for constipation I think.

[roslina-w-bagnie]

I just realized how poetic it is for the goddess of death to have been mortal. A mortal who cheated death and now rules it. A mortal who seduced Death, erased him from existence, and took his place. A goddess who knows how it is to be mortal because she was once the same as the people who are now under her care. For who she cares for way more than her predecessor ever could've, because he wasn't like Them and didn't know how it is to be like Them.

[bronx-aro]

One thing i think is really interesting with both the Undertale and Deltarune fandom is that even though the characters are quite developped, everyone i see seems to have the felt the same way when they experienced the story. (Alphys and Berdly seems to be the exeption to that for each game, but i will get into that later).

And while it's really cool to see everyone share their feelings and how much they love these stories, i never actually see discuss the way it made them feels outside of in the moment let's play, and maybe a joke about photoshop flowey, the genocide run/snowgrave and killing toriel.

So, and bear with me here, because i'm going to rant a bit about how my experience with both IT and deltarune chapter 2 seem to differ from most people's.

I DID NOT LIKE PAPYRUS AND QUEEN WHEN FIRST PLAYING.

Queen especially, Papyrus i like better now but he's still probably at the bottom of the list of my favorite "main" characters for UT now.

Okay, before you bring out the pitchforks for the Papyrus slander, i want to explain a few things.

When i first played UT, the only thing i knew about it was the "wanna have a bad time" meme, Sans apparence and the fact their was multiple routes deoending on your actions.

So i played a bit, killed toriel, felt really bad and reset because there was no way this was part of whatever "good" route i knew existed. Flowey gave me an existantial crisis so bad it made me reconsider my entire life choices and made me aware to my core that everything here actually mattered, that what i did mattered, if not to them, then to me.

Needless to say that was ingrained in me whenever i played UT and afterward DR.

So here i was, freaked out, and then immediatly introduced to the squelbros. I knew there was more to Sans that met the eye but his demeanor was so chill i knew he was a companion i would enjoy to have along.

Do any of you remember meeting Papyrus for the first time? Because it was with him having been described as a human hunting fanatic.

Not a good start to my already nervous ass. To say i was apprehensive was an understatment. Because even if he seemed aloof, you dont need to be smart and collected to hurt someone. Even if it became obvious quite quickly he wabted to capture me and not kill me, it took me until i fought with him to realise that he actually wouldnt hurt me even by accident.

I DID enjoy all the puzzles and interractions before snowdin, but i probably wouldnt have been as relaxed playing it if Sans wasnt out there keeping an eyesocket out for me.

So! First impression of Papyrus? A bit nerve wacking, but it was still funny so it can only go up from there? Right?

Right?

...

Okay, let's go about the date.

I didnt want to be there. At all. I purposfully didnt flirt with him the whole fight because the entire idea made me uncomfortable to my core. I was SO relieved at the end it. The actual date was alright, i guess, but it made me feel bad more than it made me have a fun time.

Okay, a rough patch. What's next?

Him introducing us to Undyne!

And that was when i realised why didnt like him all that much. Yeah, he's good hearted and all, but... He just pulls me everywhere assuming that this fine. He kept projecting his own wants onto me, and everyone around him, and never took the rejection well. Sans being a sentry? Hil and Undyne's whole thing? Clear exemple of that.

And yeah, they might have went along with it because they cared, but the game didnt give me that choice, either. And even outside of that, he clearly had trouble considering other peoples points of view and accepting them.

All of that, combined with the mask of the great papyrus he puts on making it hard to know what is true, exageration, or something he might have deluded himself into thinking was true, made it pretty hard to connect with him.

...

So! That's it with Papyrus! It's a perspective i have wanted to share for a while but seeing how the fandom could fall into the whole "if anyone says anything bad about this character ever i would murder them" thing i wasnt really comfortable doing it unless in longpost format.

...

So now, let's talk about Queen!

Unlike with Papyrus, i was actually really freaking surprised to see that seemingly nobody felt the same way about her than i did. Like, i was downright gobsmacked. So, unlike with UT, i will begin this by the end of the stories: me interracting, ith the fandom after i played.

I started with the classic route of watching let's plays. After switching between a few different people's first episode, i thought the reason why thay didnt seem to take her seriously in any kind of way was because they were, well, youtubers. It is their job to both play games and entertain. Of course they would focus on the jokes if the hundred game they played this year, it made sense.

So i switched to analysis/commentary videos and hanging around on tumblr. And realised that, no, actually i was the outlier here. It felt like getting punched in the gut.

So! Here i was, watching the while fandom proclaim how much they loved queen, how funny she was, ect. As if her entire personnality was just to make bad computer jokes and race tracks.

Because that was NOT what i saw.

I saw an unstable person (who kept drinking so i also assumed drunk/alcoholic) that had kidnapped and was stalking a kid. I saw someone out of touch with reality that could go from being happy and playing a game to trying to kill you. I saw an obsessive, looming figure that was always around the corner.

I saw someone who saw proceeded to, depending on the character, try and entice them by promising them all they wanted, ignore them completly even when they wanted nothing more than a shred of attention, and just generally took advantage of what she perceived to be other peoples emotionnal weakness to try and have them do what she wanted to. Wether that was creating a dark fountain, being her minion or stopping their attempts at stopping her.

She was one of the most menacing villain i ever met. Manipulative, Obsessive, Unpredictable and otherwise seemingly Unstable. Each of her apparenced filled me with dread.

The only time i saw someone acknowledging any of this was a video essay about how she could represent a different kind of mother to each of the charaters (absent, overbearing, negligent, love bombing...). It made me feel SO much better about my experience with it.

...

So yeah, i really wanted to share my perspective on these characters since most of the UT/DR dont seem to have shared that particular kind of analysis before.

Also, since i mentionned in the intro: I feel like Alphys and Berdly suffered from the fact that geekt people are seem as annoying. Like, i saw SO many people get angry/annoyed at seeing Berdly when they only saw less than 10 pieces of dialogue before. He's such a fun character but get immediatly cast asside because he can be a bit prickly. He's ridiculous and over the top, but so are so many characters. He's just a kid who is bad at social interractions and thinks being better than everyone means he will get more love/attention. I wish more people would actually give him a chance instead of writing him off right away.

As for Alphys, a lot of the people who feel negatively about her do so after playing the pacifist ending and being angry at her actions. But i feel like even before people got to that point, the whole "texting everywhere" in hot land made some people annoyed enough that they disliked her for it. I wasnt in that case and actually quite liked the whole thing but i get where people are coming from. It's honesly the only section i can think off where i saw the fandom being really split in how they felt about the her when first encountering her.

If anyone wants to share their own experiences and how it affected them while playing, PLEASE do so! Especially if you feel like it's not a commun one!

[blu-screen]

⋆ always remember

⋆ sharks are extremely smooth