#it's 3am here so I don't have much thinking power left

[ashkabbom]

Nightmares - Mouthwashing

A/n: I finished the draft of this at 3am and finished the English version at 5am😭. I'm not going to lie, I was a little embarrassed while writing this, but I kind of liked how it turned out. Feel free to correct me if I wrote something wrong. English is not my first language and I used the help of translator🎀.

Versión en español en Wattpad: Libro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Cuenta: ashkabbom)

Versão em português no wattpad: Livro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Conta: ashkabbom)

Summary/Synopsis: Nightmares keep you awake longer than you want.

Notes: I didn't specify gender and I didn't describe any closer relationship with any character, so you decide the gender and how you see the relationship between them.

→Warning: There is mention of death, blood and suicide here, so be careful or don't read if these are subjects you don't like and doesn't feel comfortable reading, since they are sensitive topics, okay?🫶🏽 Take care of yourself.

Stupid ideas are something common to everyone, right? Well, going after that job, even knowing how strange it seemed for them to accept you so... quickly or easily, that was stupid.

Daisuke and you had been playing Monopoly for a while, maybe 30 minutes. You guessed it was sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, the moon on the huge screen letting you know that you were definitely not supposed to be awake right now.

It was those few moments that made you feel like yourself again, less crazy. Being among the stars in space was new, you didn't really expect to be here and it was a little strange not talking to other people.

"You can pay me $250" You mentioned with a cheeky smile and a cocky voice.

Daisuke looks at you confused and then at the board. It was already the fourth time he had landed on a property you had purchased, and that in 15 minutes.

"How do you manage to make this game work in your favor?" He asked indignantly.

"Daisuke Daisuke... You need to expand your mind a lot with the knowledge of a true entrepreneur." You explain with elegance and sincerity.

"I still have a lot to learn then" Daisuke says sighing with a raised eyebrow.

"This is already the second property stolen in this game without you seeing it," Anya says as she watches you and Daisuke playing.

"Hey, I thought we were friends." You look at Anya with fake disappointment.

"I thought WE were friends!" He shouts (whispers loudly) in disbelief. "And before that you two were complaining when we were playing UNO."

"Your cards were only good cards! It was impossible for you to have gotten those cards completely randomly," Anya asks, pointing her finger at him.

"What can I do if luck was on my side?" He shrugs smugly.

"What a coincidence that luck was on your side when you were the one who shuffled the cards, huh?" You point out with a doubtful tone. "Quite a coincidence."

"A twist of fate," he quickly retorts. "By the way, you were the one who brought the UNO deck, who can guarantee that you hadn't already left the deck ready for you to deal the cards?"

"Are we really arguing about UNO this early in the morning?" Anya asks with a slight smile.

"It's for the power of being right and not being accused of false crimes" Daisuke answers simply. "But I think I've had enough of Monopoly, this game takes longer than I remember and is more fun with more than two people, since Anya didn't want to play"

"Of course I'm playing! I'm the bank!" She says, feeling wronged.

"Just handing out the money doesn't count, you're not playing in the game with us" He retorts once more, pointing at her face.

"He's right," you reply as you start to put the game away. "But I swore we had more board games here on the ship."

"And we have, I remember having more than these three at least.." Anya says a little thoughtfully. "It must be in someone's room I think"

The three of you start to put away the games you had brought there together without much fuss, although Daisuke said that one of the Monopoly dice was missing.

You never imagined meeting the two of them during one of your sleepless days. Anya you had met before when you were sleep deprived once, but Daisuke was new, out of all the others you thought he would be the one who would have perhaps the best sleep because he was an intern.

This goes down the drain when he says that sometimes he lies awake thinking only that this time he heard footsteps in the hallway, probably yours, so he went to see who it was and was lucky that it was you and Anya. If it were any of the other three, he didn't know if he would be able to make any conversation flow more smoothly.

That's how you ended up playing some games during the early hours of the morning. Daisuke suggested you guys maybe play something in silence while you talked, coincidentally you had some games.

"Did you imagine yourself working here when you did the job interview?" This time it was Anya who started a conversation.

"I was kind of pushed here, so I was hoping so," Daisuke says, remembering how he got here. "But I didn't really want to be accepted here."

"I didn't even expect to get a job so quickly, I had resigned a week earlier from another job" You say as you plop down on the couch, the two board games on your side with the UNO deck on top.

"And why did you resign?" The boy asks curiously, throwing himself on the couch and stretching.

"My boss was my ex, and he was my ex for a reason, I think that was already a reason for me to rethink whether my workplace was good or at least tolerable." You say it simply. "But obviously there were other reasons, I almost sued the place where I worked, but that's a story for another day."

"And then you came to work in such a cool place like Pony Express, what a great thing" Anya says sarcastically, sitting down next to him.

"I needed a job, water, electricity and food bills are not paid with anything" You sigh sadly. "But I think I'm going to quit when we get back, it's not necessarily rock bottom here but it's not a good thing either."

"I think I'd feel a little better if I knew less about what we were transporting into space." Daisuke complains and rests his head on his hand.

"That's a fair reason, I hadn't thought about that side of things just now.." She stops to think if at any point they had received any information about the thing that you were all transporting.

"Hmmm.. That kind of company must transport food or water, things like that, right?" You assume that it must be based on what little you know.

So you stay in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the calm that night..

Now the silence seemed like the worst torture.

If you had known that, I think you would have been better prepared to try to deal with the situation, or... I don't know. You can't even imagine knowing how to deal with this. You just want to go back to that night and make it last a lifetime.

You hugged your friend with all your strength, saying that everything was going to be okay and that she was going to be okay, you were going to go back home, you were going to play together again.

"NO NO NO! God, please tell me this is a lie!" You sob through your tears. "Anya! Please talk to me! Don't say that's true!"

She didn't respond at all, her eyes, now lifeless, staring upward, blood staining her mouth and chin.

You begged her to be a lie and just mess with you, to wink and laugh at how desperate you were and tell her she was fine. Everything seemed so unreal, so weird and heavy.

Crying is the only thing you could do right. You don't even know how long you stood there with her in your arms.

But then you freeze.

You freeze when you notice Daisuke's silence in the other room, you sob and just hear Jimmy say something about letting him think he was going to fix everything.

Carefully letting go of Anya's body you stand up.

That's not true, is it?

As you enter the other room you look to the side and feel like vomiting.

"Daisuke, no no no... Daisuke answer me, please look at me, please please..."

Screaming and crying you go next to Daisuke's body now in silence, running your hand over his face.

Gosh, you didn't even know what to do. On one side was Anya's body and on the other was Daisuke's body.

All you could do was beg any God that could hear you at that moment, beg that all of this was just a terrible dream and that your friends were okay.

They still had so many dreams, you still had so many things to do together. Even if you never left the ship and died here, you would get through this together.

What had you done to deserve this? What had Anya done to deserve a future like this? Daisuke still had so much to live for.

A few minutes pass with you sitting on the floor, now holding Daisuke's body in your arms, running your hands through his hair, saying that tomorrow is another day, that he would talk excitedly to you again..

You remember hearing Swansea yelling to go after Jimmy, but at this point you couldn't tell what you were imagining and what was real.

You lay him down again.

Everything would be sorted out tomorrow.

You walk towards the kitchen in that room.

This is all too much for your head.

You grab something from the kitchen.

Everything was going to be fine

You move automatically, and then blood gushes from your neck, the knife falls and then your body.

Curse this nightmare you lived in.

[lucifersresources]

quotes about That Person pinterest inspired.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

you and i will always be unfinished business.

i tried to love you into loving me... that's not how love works.

loving you was a sacrifice. i gave you the power to destroy me, and that's exactly what you did.

i gave you the power to destroy me, and that's exactly what you did.

you will always have a special place in my heart, and that terrifies me.

i won't ever forget you, and maybe that is the only forever the two of us were meant to have.

i'm sorry i had nothing to say that night.

i was so interested to see how you'd break my heart.

you planted flowers inside of me... foolish of me to think you'd water them.

it's pathetic, really, how much i still hope it's you and me in the end.

you said you'd be here.

hell exists... it's 3am, here, without you.

i'm scared that loving you is the only thing i got right, and it still wasn't enough.

i regret the end, the way we couldn't leave one another without wounds.

we made it seem as if all the love we shared was wasted time.

i will always remember the way you folded me at my corners, like there was a part of me you wanted to come back to.

you made me feel, and i don't like it. stop it.

i wish the best for you, i just wish that i was the best for you.

maybe in another lifetime, we get it right.

you had my heart before i could say no.

loving you is the most exquisite form of self destruction.

fuck you for giving up on me.

the worst pain is being hurt by the same person you explained your pain to.

you fucking broke me, and i'm still the one apologising.

i broke my own heart loving you.

now you're just a stranger with all my secrets.

sometimes the beginning is the same as the ending.

what if no one makes me feel the way that you do?

you made it look so damned easy to walk away from me.

you were the hardest lesson i ever had to learn.

you didn't say goodbye, and part of me keeps believing that means you're coming back.

i would've left the entire world behind for you.

you leave teeth marks on everything you love.

all of your devotion turns violent.

you let me go, but you left claw marks.

i don't think i'll ever know how to love someone without swallowing them whole.

love is supposed to turn you soft... i think it only ever turns me brutal.

we wanted each other in the way of flesh wanting to knit itself together over a wound.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi again Nalyra!

I’ve found myself stuck on something in 2x06 that I desperately need your help explaining.

I don’t know if it is the been-up-since-3am brain (yes), but I just can’t parse the implication surrounding the exchange Louis and Armand have regarding Louis allegedly requesting to have his memory erased. (It doesn’t seem to be confusing anyone else though, so I am making this SOS call, haha!)

This is the exchange:

Louis: I asked you to erase it? Armand: Yes. After you came out of a shower in our home in Sausalito. Three days after we abandoned him.

^ Is this exchange meant to explain that three days after they 'left' Daniel, Louis allegedly asked Armand to erase his own memory (re: the Claudia realisation/walking into the sun event)?

Because if so, what does that mean for the timeline? It happened only three days after dumping Daniel in the drug den = is that meant to imply that Armand was able to speed up Louis’s convalescence through the strength of his ancient blood? Otherwise erasing Louis’s memory is sort of moot if his body is still in a bad state, telegraphing exactly what happened to it, right? So Louis had to be all healed before his memory was erased. And yet it was only three days after they left Daniel?

What am I failing to grasp here with this exchange? Armand’s ancient blood is either power af or the ambiguous ‘three days after we abandoned him’ refers to a much later date than the drug den drop-off?

Seriously, send help. I’m all tangled up in probably unnecessary confusion, haha!

Heyyy!!!

Ahahaha, no it's not just your brain, I also stumbled over this.

Because... with Jacob's statement in the episode insider, and the comment re the martini... (also vermouth!!!!) - there is quite the clear picture emerging.

Namely that DM did happen in the past.

I think that comment was maybe the truth - but it happened a few years after that eventful night. I'm not sure what would have needed to happen for Louis to request that, but I do think there is a possibility for that to happen.

In any case I found the wording... let's say vague enough to ring the alarm bells for me as well. Because why not say "3 days after the interview" or similar. No, it's "three days after we abandoned him."

"We... abandoned him." A shared decision? What made Armand use the word "abandon"? There are implications to that word. Because you just "leave" people you just met and don't feel much for. They would have "left" Daniel after erasing his memories. But no, they "abandoned" him. There is one definition of "abandoned", which goes: "No longer maintained by its former owners, residents, or caretakers; forsaken, deserted."

And so yes, I think that word is definitely a clue. As well as that vague... time frame. He is trying not to lie, would be my guess. But there are ways to be vague. And as Assad has said it so plainly, Armand is already trying to spin another web, to keep Louis and Daniel away from the truth.

And that truth is that DM happened, but Akasha did not rise. And something else happened that made Armand (and Louis) decide to "abandon" Daniel. Or... they were forced to.

And if Louis really asked for it (we'll see)... then he could not stand to know about it.

And it will be extremely interesting to see what that was.

Or if Armand is just... throwing a smoke bomb there.

[yuseirra]

Can you make a comic where hikaru and ai are having romantic physical touch, like kissing or cuddling???

I actually never seen hikaru and ai being romantically together, I always love your doodle and theory about hikaai❣️❣️❣️❣️

I hope you never stop 💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥰

Hello~~~ heheheh.. I.. I was really surprised when I found this in my inbox today as I had my eyes open at 3am in the morning. What a coincidence because I ACTUALLY GAVE THIS AN ATTEMPT. JUST RIGHT BEFORE I READ THIS ASK. What timing, wow!! this was going to be left in my notes forever because I-...'d have been too shy to post it publicly but yeah it's dawn and I'm half-awake and dazed and all, I'm going to drop it here and slide back into the abyss

(yeah please do listen to Ruler Of My Heart btw I even translated the lyrics for you guys...it's in the link!! Imagine it's them singing them together lol. i listened to that as I drew this earlier)

I picture it's Ai who's made all the big advances, I mean that's exactly what's happened in the work. She initiated things. I think Hikaru'd have treated her very carefully considering how sweet he used to be.

To add, at this point I'm pretty sure these guys are at least inspired from Amenouzume and Sarutakhiko, they share too many similarities with those gods; and if that's the case, then even this is pretty accurate towards the legend and the gods because Amenouzume is the one who approached and got her man to love her, legends state SHE flirted w him and they just.. get married right after that. He just took a liking to her immediately... Even better, she literally got the perfect guy being the adorable and precious goddess she is, I'm so proud of her!! He governs over so many things and is so powerful (like one of the seven gods who have the title of Okami) but most of all he's virtuous!! He's noble!! Hey if I'M Japanese and and I write stories about the entertainment industry with gods involved there is NO way I don't incorporate this story somewhere?? I'd be so disappointed if it's not going to be mentioned when Amenouzume's already been brought up.

The reply got really long because I got overboard about this ship again, I'll put a read more ;)

If you've ever seen me throughout all these years, I draw tons of cuddles and fluff but I NEVER draw anything more than a cheek kiss, ever because I get embarrassed to bits. But with these guys...UGH let me justify myself, things look really bad rn but they ACTUALLY CANNOT GET ANY MORE MUTUAL IN CANON...

One of them states they were only alive when they had the other and that they loved her from the bottom of their heart and the other says they wanted to live with the other forever and confesses they were the first one they ever wanted to love, even while they didn't fully understand what love is!!! How strong IS THAT??

I care so much about canon, as soon as those dropped I just, there is no way I can't unsee that. It's just there. Furthermore, they already have two kids between them!!! They did all the things a couple would do, wouldn't they have??? I'm sure with all the positive comments they've made about each other, I can just go on and on.

What I can infer is, if there is someone who can make Ai drop those from her mouth out of her heart.. they're definitely the one who's made her really happy. She can't get more loving than that..he managed to do it, so I see him being so precious to her, he's worth everything to her you know? She went through so much for Kamiki's sake and yet she's so warm towards him I just can't!!! That's what got me because I could already see HE would have "loved" Ai a lot may it be twisted or not. Ai is smart. She's so serious about love too. Then what they had must have been so genuine. He couldn't have hurt her or made her suffer, that's not how it works.

The way I see it, he actually used to be the really gentle and timid type(this is what really gets me; he was so kind!!;), and he totally shifted upon having lost her. HE USED TO BE SO SOFT!!; and he still kinda is. I can see how he'd have been really nice in the past, it sort of does still seep through his behavior. He's just totally broken. This guy, I'm pretty sure he devoted himself to a cause related to Ai's life after she'd been gone...his life after her death is just him struggling to do something related to her, he's written that way and that's how he broke. How did he- what happened?? I just; he's broken so bad!!; Well.

Back to you, @jusmingamba :) I'm someone who's nuts over keeping close to canon,

if canon doesn't disappoint me, I can keep going... 'v')9 Thanks for the support! I don't want to stop either, I hope the MANGA doesn't make me feel that way, it's been so rough.. I knew it was going to be a tough road ;v; BUT GOSH. It's been so bumpy and tense and everything, I keep saying this over and over, but just what kind of guy did Ai love/?? The thing is, I see many good things about him but???;;; they make him appear as if he's so evil too so. I hope that's intentional. He has/had all the potential to be this really interesting and complex character, I hope they use it. I CAN. I WOULD. I CAN DO IT. SO I can't picture the artists not doing it themselves.. it'd be such a waste!!

If anything, they have to come back to them at least once before the manga ends because I cannot see Ai's wish being disregarded. That was an important plot point and I just DON'T see the plot being that cruel to her. They've been so cruel to Hikaru, geez.. but if he's someone she loved so much, I hope what she wanted does come through one way or the other, that's the only way I see this being a "fulfilling" story in the end.

I lost sleep.. I'm going to be so tired today and also pretty embarrassed from posting this but I regret nothing!! You're welcome!! Have a nice day!!!!

[a-killer-obsession]

Wavelengths [Killer x Reader, Heat x Reader]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 21 - Talk

Maybe things don't always have to hurt, it's about time you had that talk.

WC: ~3.5k

Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @iggy5055

The night after running from Killer's room fucking sucked. He still wasn't at dinner that evening but you didn't stay for long anyway, you didn't have much of an appetite. The others were thankful that you'd at least tried, even if it hadn't worked. You showered and went to bed early, mostly because Heat was on night watch and you had both hoped you could fall asleep before he had to leave. It was helpful for him to get a little sleep as well before he had to go. Unfortunately though you woke up when he left, and try as you might you simply couldn't get back to sleep.

Finally around three in the morning you caved and decided to go do something else. You thought maybe you might just join Heat for the watch, until you spotted Kid's workshop light on. It wasn't super unusual for him to be burning the midnight oil, but 3am seemed late even by his standards. Normally you wouldn't even consider going to him, but since you'd woken up in the infirmary he'd been so much softer with you, and you started to feel like there was a real friendship forming there. Maybe he needed someone, you thought, while Killer was ‘unavailable’. Maybe he was lonely, even.

You knocked on the door, not sure if he would even answer. He opened it with his devil fruit, not looking up from whatever he was working on at his desk. You'd only been in here once, when he gave you the bracelet, so you still had the same curiosity, peering around the room to observe everything that it contained. You noticed now the red velvet couch that sat up against the far wall, you weren't sure if it was new or if you just hadn't noticed it last time.

“What's up Heat, something wrong?” he asked without turning around. Ah, he must have thought Heat had something to report, since he was on watch.

“I, um... sorry maybe I should just go,” you said nervously, turning to leave.

“No, wait!” He closed the door with his fruit as he swivelled on his stool, “Stay, please.” Your heart ached for him, he really did sound lonely.

“Okay, I'll stay,” you forced a smile for him and sat on the couch, “you're up late” you pointed out.

“Couldn't sleep,” he sighed, “you?”

“I can't seem to get to sleep these days without someone holding me,” you admitted, kicking a small screw on the floor, “it's too hard to shut my brain off. Usually Heat stays with me, but he's on watch”

“I get it,” he fiddled with something on his table but he wasn't really paying attention to it, “do you… want me to hold you? I know you're maybe still scared of me but we can just stay here if it makes you more comfortable, you can sleep on the couch if you want, I don't think I'll be getting any sleep any time soon anyway”

You thought about his proposal for a minute before giving him a shy nod. He stood and strode to the couch, sitting on the other end so his metal arm hung over the side, and opened his other arm out for you. You slid in nervously, wrapping an arm around his waist and nuzzling in to get comfortable. He was so warm and wide, with a soft layer of fat that covered his muscles and made him nice to cuddle up with. You got the sense he didn't do this often though, and he let out a little sigh when you gave him a gentle squeeze, his arm starting to stroke your back soothingly. There was nothing sexual about this, but it was a sweet, tender moment you didn't expect from someone with such a rough exterior. The Kid Pirates always found ways to surprise you.

“For the record, I don't think I'm scared of you anymore,” you whispered as you got comfortable. There really was no fear in you right now, you felt perfectly safe with Kid in this moment, “I know we got off on the wrong foot given my history with authority figures, but you've never actually done anything to hurt me, it just took some time for me to realise that. Nobody in charge of me ever actually cared about me before, but I know now that you do. I feel safe here”

“I'm glad,” he let out a breath that sounded like relief, “a captain should always make you feel safe. This is your home, you shouldn't ever be scared in it”

“I'm sorry about Killer,” you sighed, “I tried to talk to him but I ended up blowing up like I always do”

“He'll come right,” Kid stroked your back softly, “thank you for trying though. Get some sleep girlie, I ain't going anywhere”

You hummed softly in response and closed your eyes, listening to Kid's rhythmic heartbeat as it lulled you into a much needed sleep.

A few hours later, driven by his curiosity after seeing you enter the workshop, Heat snuck in quietly after being relieved from his watch. You and Kid were both deep asleep, snoring softly. Kid was still sitting upright, his head lolled back and resting against the back of the couch, and you had slid down, now using his thick thigh as a pillow. It warmed his heart to see the two of you together after worrying that you'd never be able to feel safe with Kid. He took Kid's coat from where it sat discarded on the floor and laid it over you like a blanket, before turning the light off and leaving you both to sleep.

You were woken by the soft whispers of a conversation you weren't a part of, your tired head heavy against Kid's leg, his flesh hand on your back over the top of what seemed like a thick, fluffy blanket. One of the voices was his, the other a soft baritone coming from your level. You realised Killer was here, sitting on the floor with his head resting on Kid's other knee while they talked quietly so as not to wake you. Judging by the unmuffled quality of his voice you guessed he wasn't wearing his mask.

“This isn't your fault Kil, you need to stop blaming yourself,” Kid whispered.

“I know I hurt her so badly though,” Killer sighed, “nobody else can be blamed for that”

“You were just doing what you thought was right,” Kid replied, “you're not well, and I know how you think, you just didn't want to burden her. You couldn't have known how deep your feelings both ran”

“I want to get better though,” Killer whispered, “I want to be good for her. But I don't know if she'll ever forgive me”

Killer's eyes suddenly widened and his head shot up, spooking Kid, as his haki alerted him to the fact you were awake. You blinked at him sleepily, then reached out a hand to touch his unmasked face tenderly. The frightened look in his eyes faded a little at your touch but he still looked nervous.

“Kid, can you give us some space?” You asked as you sat up on the couch. He gave Killer a reassuring pat on the back before standing up and quietly leaving. He didn't need to be asked twice, he wanted nothing more than for the two of you to finally talk. Killer looked like he was about to bolt so you calmly pat the space Kid had left on the couch, indicating for him to come sit next to you. He did so hesitantly, and you moved the blanket, that you now realised was Kid's coat, so it covered both of you as you shuffled in to rest your head against his chest. It was partially because you were a little cold with the absence of Kid's warmth and wanted him to hold you, but also partially because it'd be harder for him to flee if you were on him. He was tense at first, but noticeably relaxed when you wrapped an arm around his waist and gave him a little reassuring squeeze.

“Are you feeling any better?” You asked him with a little yawn.

“Uh, yeah,” he mumbled, trying to decide if this was some sort of trick, or if maybe he was dreaming, “thanks for bringing the meds”

“Mmm,” you replied, nuzzling in to him sleepily, “I think its time we have that talk”

Killer sighed but put a arm around you as the other ran through his hair. It was noticeably tidier than last night, and he smelled like he'd recently showered, all good signs in your books. “I'm not sure what to say,” he admitted.

“Its okay, neither did I,” you replied, “but I thought long and hard about it, and I had good talks with Kid and Heat after I woke up, and I think I understand now. I think you're right, we're not good for each other. But that doesn't mean we can't be”

“I don't think I'm following,” he sighed.

“We're sick, Kil,” you explained, “not just you, both of us. I went through a lot, not just the last few weeks, but my whole life. I thought I wasn't capable of ever feeling happy till I came here, I even told Heat once that I didn't think I was capable of love, but you proved that wrong for me. But, especially after recent events, I'm not ready to be in a relationship, I'm not ready to open up fully and make myself vulnerable by bareing it all, and I think that's maybe how you feel as well. But that doesn't mean I don't want to. I know you regret how things ended on the island, but I understand how you feel and why you made that choice at the time. I thought when we got home that I could just ignore it, I thought it was just a crush and I'd get past it, because I didn't think I was capable of feeling more. But no matter how much I ignore it, the feeling doesn't go away. It's like a grass seed, digging deeper and deeper, and I feel like its going to kill me if I don't say something”

You sat up to look him directly in the eye. His icy blues were flicking between yours with uncertainty, waiting for you to finish explaining. “I love you, Kil, I know that now. It's not just some puppy love crush, I love you. But I'm not ready to open up right now. I want to, I really do, I just need some time. And I think you do too, I think maybe we're both hurting ourselves and each other like this because neither of us thought the other would be willing to wait, neither of us thought ourselves worth waiting for. But I am willing, Kil. I'll wait forever if I have to. I just need to know that you'll wait for me too”

Killer looked like he was about to cry as he nervously nodded. “I love you too, and I'll wait as long as it takes, please keep waiting for me. I want to get better, I really do. I'm taking the meds now, I'm following Mohawk's advise, I'm trying, I really am”

“I know baby,” you stroked his cheek and wiped a stray tear that had fallen, “I'm going to talk to Mohawk and ask him for meds as well, I want to get better too. Right now, this is enough for me. Just being close to you, and knowing that you're healing. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, we're going to get better, together”

“Can I kiss you?” He asked shyly. His eyes flicked between yours and your lips.

“Just this once,” you said, “I don't want to risk things getting out of hand until we know we're both in the right headspace for it”

He nodded and leaned towards you, pressing a gentle, loving kiss to your mouth. You sighed into the kiss and pressed back, the two of you staying like that for a few minutes, just quietly pressing soft kisses and rubbing your noses together, till you finally pulled away.

“I missed you,” you mumbled into his chest as you nuzzled back into it. “If this is going to work though you have to accept that I'm in a really delicate place right now, so Heat has been staying with me to help me sleep. There's nothing between us though, just friendship, just like last night with Kid, I'm sure walking in on me sleeping on him can't have been nice for you”

“He explained,” Killer replied, “I was more surprised than anything that he was being so soft with you. He usually only treats me like that”

“Kid is soft with you?” You couldn't help but snort, “I find that hard to believe. Then again, I have only recently discovered this more tender side of him”

“He's the only one who can handle me when I'm having a manic episode,” Killer explained, “he holds me through them”

“The relationship you guys have his so sweet,” you mused.

“We've known each other since we were kids,” Killer explained, “I basically raised him, neither of us had our parents around. He's been with me since well before my first breakdown, he made me the mask to try and reduce them”

“I see,” you mused, “so it's your fault hes such a shithead”

“Oi,” Killer half laughed, “we didn't have a great childhood but I did what I could”

“Jokes aside, he's a good man, and I'm sure that's your doing,” you replied, “you're both good men. I'm glad to have met you”

“I'm glad the two of you are getting along now,” Killer hummed, “he said you told him you feel safe now”

“Cos I do,” you smiled, “this is my home. I thought maybe you guys had abandoned me when it took so long to come get me but Wire explained why you had to wait”

“I'm really sorry we weren't there sooner,” he sighed.

“It's okay, I had your sash to keep me company,” you hummed, “and to be honest, the kiss was what kept me going. I think I would have given up a lot earlier if I didn't have the hope that you loved me”

Killer sighed and pulled you closer, almost into his lap, so he could wrap both arms around you. You burried your heads in each other's shoulders as he breathed you in. “I'm sorry for running when you woke up, I just got so scared”

“You weren't in a good headspace Killer, it's okay,” you said softly, “it's all in the past now. And for the record, it wasn't your fault I couldn't breathe, I had a broken rib and not enough painkillers”

“Oh,” Killer cursed himself for his over reaction.

“Mohawk has me on some good stuff now, so its okay,” you gave him a reassuring squeeze, “everything is healing well, I'll be back to normal in a few weeks”

“And what about… your mental health?” He tried to phrase it in a way that wouldn't trigger you, “Have you talked to anyone about what happened? Did you want to talk?”

“I'm okay Kil,” you smiled, “well, I mean to be honest I've been having some dark thoughts lately, but it's not exactly new for me. I've been having them since I was a kid. But that's why I'm gonna ask Mohawk for help. I never had any metric for what it feels like to be happy, so it was definitely a lot scarier and more traumatic this time compared to before I joined the crew. But at least now I know that I'm safe and I'm held and I have people around me who care. It sucked, but I'm gonna be okay I think. It's not as hopeless as it used to be, I have people to live for now”

Killer sniffed and you realised he was crying. “Aw, Kil, do you want to talk?” You held his face and wiped his tears with your thumbs.

“No, I'm okay,” he sniffed and smiled at you, “I'm just so glad that we found you”

“Hey, there's that smile I love,” you smiled back at him. You expected him to pull away at the mention of his smile like he had on the island, but instead the smile widened, which only made you beam more. “You're so beautiful Killer, I hope I can help you learn that for yourself”

“You're already helping,” he sniffed.

“Speaking of learning, I think you should teach me to read again,” you cuddled back into him, sliding on to his lap to sit across it so you could wrap your arms around him better and rest your head against his chest. “Don't get me wrong, I want Heat to keep teaching me too, but it wouldn't hurt to have twice the lessons, I feel like I'm really getting somewhere with them”

“I'd like that,” he rested his chin on the top of your head, “I missed you so much”

“I missed you too, Kil,” you hummed, “we should go get breakfast though, I'm not the only one that missed you”

“Ah, you're probably right,” he sighed, “okay, let's go then. But I want more cuddles later”

“Deal,” you smiled as you stood and offered him a hand to pull him up.

The tension in the air noticeably lifted as you approached the breakfast table, the other commanders all visibly perking up as they noticed Killer in tow behind you. Some of them hadn't seen him all week, and relief washed over the group. Heat squeezed your hand under the table as you sat, unbelievably thankful that your talk last night had gotten Killer out of his room after all, and you gave him a sincere smile in response. Moods were much improved with the return of the first mate, and everyone made enthusiastic conversation around you. No longer afraid of looking at him, you caught Killer watching you, and gave him a cheerful smile in response, tapping his leg with your foot under the table. He gave a huff in reply, but you could tell he was smiling under the mask.

“What's the plan now then, cap?” You hummed.

“Well that depends, Mohawk, how's her recovery looking?” He replied, pointing a knife at the doctor before shovelling eggs into his mouth.

“Her rib was already healing when she got back, and the rest of her wounds are also healing well now that she's free of infection,” he was waving his fork in your direction to indicate to you as he spoke, “best guess is she'll be fighting shape in another week”

“Good,” Kid huffed, “Double tells me we'll be hitting a resupply island in a couple of days, after that I'd like to explore one of the islands Killer and Yin retrieved a map for. It looks like it may have been used as a halfway point for marines to stash weapons and supplies, it's not on any of our maps but we have a matching eternal pose for it. Could be an easy win. Double thinks probably only the marines know about the island, so they won't be expecting us, might not even be guarding it”

“How far off from the resupply island is it?” Wire asked.

“Hard to be exact,” Kid replied, egg flying out of his mouth and hitting your mask as he spoke. You huffed in annoyance and saw Killer's shoulders move in silent laughter, he was the only one who had noticed as you wiped the egg indignantly from your visor. “He's been watching the pose to see how it shifts as we move, so he has a pretty good guess on where it is. He estimated three days from the resupply, but he couldn't give me an exact”

While Kid was talking you noticed his almost full tankard of beer and decided to play a prank in response to the literal egg on your face. You nodded your head at Killer, getting his attention, before gesturing it towards the tankard. When you were sure he was watching you made most of the beer invisible, making it look almost empty. He looked back at you, shaking his head very slightly, warning you it was a bad idea. You nodded back, a mischievous smirk on your face as you pushed your chair away from the table just a little, in preparation to flee.

“I'll get started on the resupply list then,” Heat added, “I think we're low on bullets after the marine base, the last island didn't have a great black market”

“The books are looking good though,” Wire noted, “we got plenty of sellable loot from the base, we shouldn't have need for a raid for a while”

“Good, good,” Kid hummed as he picked up his tankard. You watched with bated breath as he looked inside, a confused frown on his face, before tipping it almost upside-down to get the last drops left, just as you had planned. Immediately he was soaked with beer, and you broke into a fit of giggles, fleeing before he could put two and two together. He roared behind you as you ran, the rest of the commanders bursting into laughter as they realised what had happened. Later he'd finally catch you, and you'd be forced to clean the toilet in his room as punishment, but it was worth it in your mind.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

[tulipsnflowers]

if you don't mind another one:

Nexomon character: Fenrir

tumblr ATE THIS ONE AKSNHRIEKS I didn't get a notification!

Massive Nexomon spoilers ahead

Also I may or may not have missed the mark a lil bit... Whoopsies. Also if these takes are rancid, er, it was written at 3am as my defense

Before I begin, I'd like to say, I have a friend who dislikes(jokingly) Fenrir personally. Our nickname to him is matchstick fire show pony👍 (That's an entirely different story and a lot of my inside jokes are from a play through with this friend)

Fenrir!!!... Fenrir. God. (Runs hand through hair) I never have any sane thoughts about any of Omnicron's children.

So to start off with the basics, Fenrir aka Fona is Omnicron's 3rd child. Undying Fire, and we don't fight him until the actual Nexolord tower(which is a trait he shares with Zetta). Presumably, he hasn't transformed in a while till that point and for some God forsaken reason he isn't in Ignitia.

In n2 he is in Ignitia of course, and yada yada fire powers.

Now to start off with the insanity (clears throat)

He is, more of an introvert than I am and it hurts. (Frick, I should point out, in n2 me and my friend spent like 45 mins chatting in the room because we felt kinda bad leaving)

As a simple why I like him: A) He is in omnicron's family it gives him automatic insanity points, B) He is a very interesting character to me, and a bastard

In n1 we meet him with Ivan and he essentially let's us go to not get his hands dirty, and also, It took me 4 play throughs, but I finally pieced together he was the one who burned that house down. I'm a really quick thinker guys

Then his next interaction is in Royalle(excluding vision), where he WANTED to transform, but Ulzar spooked him off(you can get him Fen cmon), and tried to use his aura on our nexomon (something I need to go into a seperate rant about), didn't work (which.. Deena was either trailing us(my belief), or, Ulzar wasn't the friendliest with his nexomon from the get go)

Then it's in Lateria where he lets us through after we kick his butt, aura not working again and he leaves(coming here later. He, is he suspecting Deena here, is that why he let us go? Or is it because he believed Grunda would use us as toothpicks) , and then Grunda and yada yada

Then it's frozen which is mostly us fighting him and telling Glacia to get lost

So! Out of all of Omnicron's kids, he's the one who let's us go the most. Merida was gonna kick our butt but Zetta fetched her, Zetta had Royalle, Granda tried to eat us, Nadine tried and somehow failed to push us off a tree..

But Fenrir? He had the capacity to keep going at all the times minus Royalle where he was going to transform(📌), but he just kinda let us be, not his problem.

He is also the one who we meet the most, granted, but still.

One could say he just cared about Omnicron, I suppose. So heck, this random child probably won't do much. Maybe. But that then excludes Royalle.

He says in the tower it's been a while since anyone's been worthy of seeing his human form(he beats Remus, Ivan and their teams without it after all!), and thus fight. Warriors, fire, so on.

So then.. I think, a reaction to his aura not fricking working. Which is an issue immediately, because that's how they stayed atop. With that. So he must've thought that if that didn't work, then heck, let's kill the kid and get it over with

Cuz I don't think we're quite worthy of it yet ya know

... Then Ulzar steps in. I don't think he was as scared of Ulzar. Well yes, he may not have been wanting to fight him but it was also an Oh. Well, that bastard is there, and if he's doing it then it's fine. Cuz that's a reason and that's something also not his issue(Hi Ziegler), and that can be dealt with.

.. In Solus( the desert), it happens yet again. And there's no Ulzar this time so there's a real chance he just left you to get eaten by Grunda, or, as I said before Deena. If it was Nara, then that's still an issue, but hey, that one they can at least deal with

Am I missing the subject of the ask? Probably. I can't tell. But it's a ramble and if you didn't come for that then whoops.

Tower time towered, I think that one was pretty clear, then his Nightmare which,

Frick. I genuinely can't remember what he says. One can look it up later. I remember it being with Matthew and I remember what Ogroon says more than I do him. And fire powers, that too.

N2! N:E. Well, there he's convinced by Deena to give us Fire powers because Redemption. (And she is his younger sister I myself am guilty of not being able to say no on a couple occasions)

Epic fight with a cool transformation

Then he gives them to us(and in a dialogue branch says "Go without fear, (). You'll do fine. " or something to those lines which, Fenrir is a great uncle)

.. THEN it's a bit with us at the observatory, then I think that's all of his dialogue..? Minus the revival one.

I realize I missed the mark and just rambled about a bunch of different things but, hey. You're here to watch me go insane not be not insane, so.

I just like Fenrir. He's great. That's it go home everyone

(Also, note here: He genuinely comes off as the most uncaring which, no you're not. I have 3 siblings one of them may not be the most expensive but Frick, ya know they care at the end of the day. He certainly does.)

[an-aura-about-you]

let's see about finishing up that chapter of Handbook for Mortals I was on, shall we?

Chapter 18 part 2:

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade was still dying, but now Mac thinks that's his fault when it absolutely wasn't.

-Mac was upset that Zade would do this without telling him, but Dela tells him that she did it with Charles for years without him knowing. jesus christ, what a violation.

-but Dela also mentions that Charles was in the show and thus couldn't have left, so once again Zade is the one who made the bad choices here.

-in spite of this not being Mac's fault, he is the one responsible for fixing this according to Dela. she said he "caused" the energy surge, but that's not right because ZADE caused the energy surge, she just did so without knowing she had no way to ground it! again, it's Zade's fault!!!

-"Normally I would sugarcoat this, but we don't really have that kind of time." 24 Hours Have Passed. You Have Had Plenty Of Time To Sugarcoat.

-"I'm just going to get down and dirty and to the point."

...

I do not care how much of a MILF the book is trying to make you out to be, Dela. That line just killed it. Never say that again ever.

-for this ritual, Dela has to forge something that "looks like a dagger--thought it won't actually be a dagger at all." and she says it's not worth explaining what it actually is besides magic.

you mean an athame? you know, tool used to sever metaphysical energy typically represented physically by a blunt dagger? you're fine talking about tarot cards and altars but calling an athame an athame is where you stumble? I would certainly think anyone who spells magic with a k would know what an athame is. hell, I have an athame!

if you wanna dumb it down for Mac, you can call it an athame and then explain that it is a type of magic dagger. it would be a shorter explanation and get you to the point with Mac much quicker. you know, the thing you said you were going to do in this same paragraph.

-the gameplan is for Mac to stab Zade in the chest with the athame at precisely 3am. ok, cool, cool. why? why that specific time? why are we not getting any information about why we have to wait? I know timing and moon phases are important for spells, but an emergency is an emergency. and we haven't been given any information along the lines of, "if we don't do it at precisely this time and no other then Zade will definitely die for real." seriously, what is keeping us from doing it now?

-Dela just compared the athame to an EpiPen. and I'll actually admit, in the context of the book, this metaphor does at least partly work. it's not going to fix Zade completely, but it is going to make it so that Della can heal her. but the part where it doesn't work is an EpiPen is used to buy time and should be administered IMMEDIATELY.

-also, apparently, this entire procedure will be nearly impossible if Mac doesn't go along with it.

actually, now's a good time to hit you guys with the summary from the inside of the dust jacket:

Zade Holder has always been a free-spirited young woman, from a long dynasty of tarot-card readers, fortunetellers, and practitioners of magick. Growing up in a small town and never quite fitting in, Zade is determined to forge her own path. She leaves her home in Tennessee to break free from her overprotective mother Dela, the local resident spellcaster and fortuneteller. Zade travels to Las Vegas and uses supernatural powers to become part of a premiere magic show led by the infamous magician Charles Spellman. Zade fits right in with his troupe of artists and misfits. After all, when everyone is slightly eccentric, appearing "normal" is much less important. Behind the scenes of this multimillion-dollar production, Zade finds herself caught in a love triangle with Mac, the show's good-looking but rough-around-the-edges technical director and Jackson, the tall, dark, handsome and charming bandleader. Zade's secrets and the struggle to choose between Mac or Jackson creates reckless tension during the grand finale of the show. Using Chaos magick, which is known for being unpredictable, she tests her abilities as a spellcaster farther than she's ever tried and finds herself at death's door. Her fate is left in the hands of a mortal who does not believe in a world of real magick, a fortuneteller who knew one day Zade would put herself in danger and a dagger with mystical powers...

so idk why I even bothered with the recaps when Sarem is eager to tell you the entire story right there. there's nothing to work for in reading this. it's just handed to you like Zade's job at the show.

also, if I'm sharing what's on the dust jacket, I can't forget this part:

Handbook for Mortals is the first book in the series of this urban fantasy, paranormal romance series by author Lani Sarem. Following Zade through the trials--and romance--of finding her own place in the world, readers will identify with their own struggles to fit in, reflected in the fantastic, yet mundane world of Zade's life. Handbook for Mortals is in development as a motion picture set to debut in 2018.

also holy shit they wanted $25 for this? yeah, glad I only paid $2.

-ok either more time has passed when I wasn't looking or we're dealing with another classic Sarem continuity error because the narration has just told us 48 hours have passed???? when the fuck did that happen?

-I'm actually getting really pissed at the time thing because Sarem COULD have used the tarot cards to structure the book. I've actually written two fics where I did something similar, one of them being a fic for The Magnus Archives and one of them being a TMA/Chzo Mythos crossover.

for one of my fics, I used the 14 Fears in The Magnus Archives as a way to structure the actual fic and give it a sort of order based on what would make sense to follow one after the other.

for the crossover one, I used both the concept of the Blessed Agonies in the Chzo Mythos as well as an actual calendar since I was setting it during a specific year with a specific start date in mind. from there, I basically scheduled the fic and even reflected this by posting relevant chapters on the matching dates. and having that schedule helped a lot with my planning because I did research I needed like how long it would take to recover from certain injuries in the hospital.

and the Major Arcana of the tarot makes this even easier because it comes with a story structure built in. with just a little more thinking and effort, Sarem could have fit her story into that structure.

but considering her main character ignored a trump card in a spread, it's clear that she doesn't actually think much of it.

-in any case, Mac agrees to do the stabbing.

Mac the Knife?

-Mac is still blaming himself for the thing that wasn't his fault. like, ok, a little bit of that is usually normal, feeling guilty and getting hung up on could-have should-have is totally a thing. but the narration is making it clear that he's the reason Zade is dying, and that is a big ol' plate of bullshit and chips.

-ok we're getting more of the drama of Zade's parents and Charles has told Mac that he didn't leave Dela, Dela left him and took Zade with her. and the start of that is a doozy:

"I lost it when she told me what she was. It was right after we had Zade. I thought maybe she had made me love her... "Because I wasn't sure if I could believe her, I cheated on Dela to see if I could. When I was able to cheat, I realized that if she had put a spell on me she wouldn't have 'let' me be able to do that."

ohhhhhhhhhhh my god. okay. wow.

on the one hand, Yikes. did you HAVE to go all the way, Charles?

but on the other, god, can you imagine how terrifying that must be to worry that your free will has been compromised, especially with how much Dela and Zade have been talking about destiny in this book?

some part of me actually doesn't entirely blame Charles for full on cheating? don't get me wrong, it's a scummy thing to do and evidence that they didn't trust each other. but a paranoid part of me is putting myself in Charles's shoes and wondering, "am I able to flirt with a stranger because I'm freely able to be with them or is this just something allowed by the limits of the spell my spouse has on me?" especially now that we, the readers, know that Dela has used magic on Charles for YEARS without his knowledge.

-but that was only the start of it. the kicker was Charles started drinking and using and got to a point where he talked about putting Zade in the show. Dela consulted the cards and it looked like either they would be happy together or he would go back to his old ways. so she left him a letter and took Zade with her.

THIS is when we learn she put a spell on Charles to not talk about Zade BUT it's actually worse than that. he's not able to admit to a connection to EITHER of them. so I've got two things about that:

holy shit, so that means it was basically impossible for him to have any sort of contact with Zade unless Dela allowed it. if he can't admit to a connection to her, he can't get legal help to establish parental rights.

Why Was Charles Able To Tell The Doctor He Was Zade's Father In The Previous Chapter? How Was He Able To Do That? Did Dela Only Break That Spell Because Zade Was Dying?

and that's how the chapter ends with Charles wrapping up that story saying that maybe it was a way for Dela to not deal with the past. you'd think a professional fortuneteller would know that shit always comes back to you.

fuck it let's have another poll

[windingcorridor]

Manhunt is a life-changer, the kind of book that shifts your insides around and makes room for itself. I finished it at 3am last night, and have been wandering around the house since. I feel hollowed out. I want to- need to- read it again. Christ.

This book has a ton of Content Warnings, some stemming from genre, most stemming from its premise and perspective. CW: transphobia, dead-naming, cannibalism, dysphoria, rape, implied incest, fatphobia, public execution, slavery, torture, body horror.

Disclaimer: I'm writing this review from my perspective as a man exploring their gender, folding in They/ Them pronouns with my He/ Him. While I have considered in myself whether or not I am a woman, I don't think I am. Do with that info what you will.

I found Manhunt on a recommendation shelf at my local bookstore- shout out to Eagle Eye Books in Decatur, GA- and its cover grabbed me instantly. It's a shocking image, blunt in its implication and color. It's a fitting one, too, echoing the words inside. You're going to get grabbed and the story isn't going to let go until the last.

You can get a synopsis for the thing anywhere, so no need here. Just know that Fran & Beth's story starts with the punchline- "What if being a man turned you into a rage zombie?"- and runs red with it. Being a trans woman is already goddam hard in the real world- now imagine people looking at you the same way people in zombie movies look at people who have been bit. It's a fantastic grounding device, with Felker-Martin using it as a jumping off point to point out how fucked transphobia can get.

Speaking of rage, this book is so full of anger and hatred, righteous and otherwise. It smacks you, not just inside the content but with its construction. Felker-Martin hates transphobes, trustfund child-adults, people who will put a hashtag on their twitter profile but never do anything. She never writes this out explicitly, but the way th`e story is told? Buddy, she makes that very clear.

The characters are deliciously complex. You start with easy sketches- the pretty one, the strong one, the fat one, the TERF, the trans man, etc- but you hop from perspective to perspective often enough that things begin to mold into a rich picture.

(If I have any criticism of the book at all, it's that, occasionally, we shift perspective so fast and often that timelines can get wobbly. I'll think it's only been a few hours in-story, but then a character will mention it's been a few weeks. It course corrects cleanly, though, and never became too much of an issue.)

One of the perspective characters- Ramona- is a part of The Legion, militarized TERFs who have taken over huge swaths of the US in name of eradicating "men wearing womanface." Thing is, Ramona has a thing for trans women. By day, she's an XX chromosome tattoo wearing Nazi, by night she's sleeping with a trans lover in a secret brothel. She hates her hypocrisy (so many of the characters ooze self-hatred), but she is so caught up in the fervor of her movement that she can't slow down.

These contradictions cover the whole cast. At times, I hated them. Others, I loved them. By the end, all I wanted to do is spend more time with them.

It's here I want to say- I love you, Beth. It's obvious that the author loves you, too. Not in the "here's-some-plot-armor" way, the book isn't cheap like that. The author writes Beth and all of the other trans characters with so much empathy, personal history, and heart, it's difficult not to see them as breathing, beautiful people.

When you have a book like this- one that moves at so much force- you worry that there isn't a way in hell that it will stick the ending. Happy to report that as much of a power-drill the last act is, I left the book satisfied. I, alone in my living room, warm forgotten beer on the coffee table, wife and daughter asleep in the next room, muttered, "Whoa," when I read the last paragraph.

So, yeah. Read Manhunt. It isn't for everyone. The best art never is. But if you allow yourself to be taken by it, hold on.

Nick <3

[nebulouscoffee]

Okay time for another 3am essay haha. So I've always loved Michael Burnham, but recently- while watching Disco S4 for the first time- she has truly ascended to blorbo status. Her arc is incredible, and so underrated! I think maybe the earlier seasons were a bit too focused on her connection to Spock and his family, so now that there's some distance from all that, I'm able to appreciate her diasporic experience as a child of two worlds even more? And seeing her consistently fall back on logic to reassure herself but also connecting with her crew specifically through her emotional intelligence and transparency, humanising herself but still striking the right notes of authority, all without ever raising her voice, is just- ahh it's so good. She's shaping up to being one of the coolest Star Trek captains!

After watching her big (Very Trekkian) speech in S4E7, I was tempted to go back and rewatch some of the pilot, just to see how far she'd come- and I was struck by this parallel (I haven't seen S1 since it aired in 2017, so please forgive me if I'm just pointing out the obvious hehe)

S1E1 (while trying to convince Captain Georgiou to fire at the Klingons):

BURNHAM: Captain, we have to fire on them. Hit that ship with everything we've got.  GEORGIOU: Absolutely not. They haven't powered weapons. They don't appear to pose an imminent threat.  BURNHAM: The Klingon threat is always imminent and inevitable. [...] 240 years ago, near H'Atoria, a Vulcan ship crossed into Klingon space. The Klingons attacked immediately. They destroyed the vessel. Vulcans don't make the same mistake twice. From then on, until formal relations were established, whenever the Vulcans crossed paths with Klingons, the Vulcans fired first. They said hello in a language the Klingons understood. Violence brought respect. Respect brought peace. Captain, we have to give the Klingons a Vulcan hello. GEORGIOU: If their intention is to attack, balling up our fists won't dissuade them.  BURNHAM: It would be logical for you to take into account my success rate during our seven years together, and execute my plan without further challenge before we're dragged into war.  GEORGIOU: Starfleet doesn't fire first. That's all, Number One.  BURNHAM: We have to.  GEORGIOU: In my ready room.

GEORGIOU: Computer, privacy.  BURNHAM: Captain-  GEORGIOU: How dare you challenge me?  BURNHAM: I apologise for my insubordination.  GEORGIOU: Don't you realise that kind of talk can destabilise a crew?  BURNHAM: Don't underestimate them. I've overseen their exercises. They're ready for battle.  GEORGIOU: Battle is not a simulation. It's blood and screams and funerals. I taught you better than this. We don't start shooting on a hunch, and we don't take innocent lives. Period. I understand your history with the Klingons.  BURNHAM: My commitment to this course of action is not emotional. We target its neck, cut off its head-  GEORGIOU: You're still injured. You're not thinking clearly.  BURNHAM: Thousands of lives will be lost because of failure to act.  GEORGIOU: Whose lives? Victims of your imaginary war?  BURNHAM: And your life, Captain. Yours.  GEORGIOU: Stand down, Commander Burnham. That's an order.  BURNHAM: You're right. I may not be myself.  GEORGIOU: Easy, Michael.  (She knocks Georgiou out with a Vulcan neck-pinch.)  BURNHAM: ... I'm sorry.

So this is the big event that makes Michael an infamous mutineer and kicks off the whole show. But cut to four seasons (and a thousand years) later- and she's the captain of the ship, addressing what's left of the Federation on how she thinks they should respond to a mysterious new threat (that has completely destroyed her lover's whole planet.) Much like S1 Michael, he is angry and traumatised here, and very much pushing for a preemptive strike by using the same "countless lives will be saved" argument. And against his wishes and approval, here's what she chooses to say in her speech:

BURNHAM: Our experiences shape us. That's what makes this so difficult. [...] Before we head down a path that could lead to destruction on both sides, we need to reach first for understanding. For generations, the Federation has sought out new life, new civilisations, not to destroy but to connect, even in the face of uncertainty. And we are not all Federation members, but those ideals can still guide us. Especially now. We cannot let fear define us in this moment. We need to decide. Who do we want to be? Do we lash out blindly, no matter the risk? Or do we proceed thoughtfully? Work toward the future we want to live in? I believe that's who we are. We wouldn't be here otherwise.  BOOK (in front of everyone listening): We don't have the luxury of asking philosophical questions right now. What matters is the actions we take. Stopping this thing today.  BURNHAM: There are different points of view in this room, I know. But I hope that when a decision is reached, whatever it is, that we can hold together. That we can move forward as a united front.  BOOK: Some differences are too great. Sometimes you just have to accept the consequences of that.

So obviously Michael is now in Georgiou's place- and Book is playing her old part (and pretty well, lol- the episode literally ends with him stealing a shuttle behind her back and doing what he wants, just like Micheal did in S1!) But what I find most interesting is her echoing Georgiou's philosophy in other ways, too.

S4E10 (talking to the Federation President):

BURNHAM: Thank you for sharing the news.  RILLAK: We could have told them together. Why did you want me to do it?  BURNHAM: In times of crisis, people need to know that their leaders are not rattled by uncertainty or overwhelming odds. They need to know that there is a plan, that they'll be okay. You're their president. You can give them confidence, a sense of security. You're my president, too.  RILLAK: Oh... I'm grateful we had the chance to... connect before we approach Species Ten-C.  BURNHAM: If we can't communicate with each other, what chance do we have with them? 

It really goes to show how far she's come, and how much she's benefitted from learning to accept all parts of herself- her Vulcan upbringing, her Federation ideals, her Human family, her Starfleet training, and her bonds with the crew- which are, of course, completely inextricable from her relationship with Georgiou. Instead of warring within her, these different aspects of her are now working together to make her the best possible version of herself- she's learnt both from her own mistakes, and others'. Basically- what a character!

[wanderingrain]

Blogging through Till the World Ends Ep 8

Do ya'll not know what a gas station looks like?

Wait what are we doing? Why are we here?

I bet ya'll left the gun in the car didn't you.

wow I'm sure that curtain won't be falling down while we're here/s

lol not P'Gus appearing out of nowhere for a jumpscare

They are not about to kill a chicken

Lol Art saying "kill them all" and Golf rethinking his life choices. 🤣

Lol them spitting out the ramen

Not P'Gus creating an opportunity for them to have sex

I hate when they translate faen as girlfriend or boyfriend. It's a gender neutral term. Translating it in a gendered way adds a layer to the conversation that isn't actually there. I'm fine with it when everyone in the room knows the gender of the faen, but when the person doesn't know, the translation makes them seem either ignorant or accepting.

Same Art, same. I feel like I'd understand this better if i didn't have to rely on subtitles.

Weird of them to describe Salim as being a bad thing and then tell Art he is Salim. Are we not gonna fix that or...?

Not P'Gus being surprised they haven't had sex yet. Sir have you ever even seen them kiss? No you haven't because I haven't either.

Not him telling them to have sex

Back to our gang boys

Who leaves their car keys in the car?

Look at that big, beautiful moon.

Not Art being nervous.

Oh?

My dude please tell me you know about lube

Not the shirt being ripped .

Oh no that's such a cute smile

Uhhhh either P'Gus is snooping on his brother when he thinks he's having sex or we have another person in the house.

Again??

ok we've discovered kissing and we don't want to stop I guess

ohhhhh Tilak

if P'Gus died while they were having sex I swear

No Art is so cute lying on the bed all giddy

Wait there's a bedroom in the bedroom? ?

Wait if the guy was in this room all night.... you know what nevermind.

oh no oh no not fighting oh no

there's a swimming pool in the bunker?

This class system sounds really strange.

Don't they already know how to get there?

Not P'Gus knowing about Uncle

oh jeez. This angle looking up at the moon is actually pretty scary. Can you imagine looking up and seeing the moon like that and there's nothing that can be done to stop it? It's going to hit the Earth and then what? Even if people survive, there's so many things that would change if the moon was gone. What happens to the oceans? The day/night cycle? This is the first time this show has made me feel actual fear. It looks like the moon is bearing down on you, about to crush you.

Aww hugging uncle

Oh I bet you the gun is gone

Oh I'm cackling! Not the obviously photoshopped knife! What would be the point of don't that? I guess if you were going to ambush them but how would the people who left the knife know if they were coming back? Oh this show. (Affectionate)

So pretty much right after I wrote that wrote section about the moon, my power shut off. It's 3am. I think the power is out in my whole town. Everything is so dark. I might be a little more scared than I normally would be now that I'm thinking about the moon crashing into the earth. So thanks Till the World Ends for giving me an irrational fear.

Literally just had the fear of death put in me by a show and then the world goes dark.

Episode 9 will have to wait I guess.

[hollenka99]

Kart Competition

Another birthday fic for @septic-dr-schneep . When writing the first one, I realised it would have to take place before Jameson was born. And it didn’t feel right to exclude him entirely. So I ended up writing this too.

There was no denying it, they were in a bit of a predicament. Chase wanted the last helping. Although he was modest about it, Jameson wouldn't mind having it for himself as well. "Alright, this is a problem. I want the last cookie but so do you." "I honestly don't mind allowing you to have it." "You want it, don't try to act as if you don't. I've seen the way you've been eyeing it." Jameson gives a defeated huff at this. "So what do you propose we do? The most sensible course of action is probably to break-" "Rock, paper, scissors." The dapper man ponders. "Well, I suppose that's fair." The first round sees Chase serving a piece of paper, same as Jameson. Never mind, draws happen. Two rocks appear next. And again. They attempt scissors. Draw after draw after draw. Frustrated, Chase calls Marvin to oversee the game in the hope a witness will break the curse. It doesn't. They draw twice more. "Dude, stop copying me. One of us needs to win." "Chase, we honestly should just split-" "How about Mario Kart?" "Excuse me?" "Mario Kart, VS race. I don't think it's possible to draw with them." "Anything that will allow us to have some closure from this matter." Jameson shrugs. Once Marvin leaves them to it, they begin with Rainbow Road. It's not part of the competition. Chase simply wished to see how well they could fair on the track. He teases his brother about being too cautious with turns. The more skilled virtual driver has a shell launched at him. In an attempt to avoid it, he abruptly swerves off the track. Wordless shock becomes exclamations of mock betrayal. Jameson doubles over in laughter at his unexpected success. During one race, Jameson does far better than he predicts. Chase accidentally crashes into a bridge and struggles to maneuver his vehicle out of its situation. Jameson finds himself in first. A panicked yell warns him to be overtaken. He doesn't follow the advice and is blown up. "Sorry Jem, I tried to warn you." Chase apologises as he speeds past Jameson's kart while it recovers from the attack. The others assume Jameson gets his revenge when Chase shrieks out "You hit me with lightening one more time and I am throwing our Switch off Brighton Pier. It's like you're doing this on purpose." Marvin is threatened with a similar type of assault after making a comment encouraging Jameson to get another lightening bolt. Sweet Sweet Canyon is comprised of sweets, chocolate and so many sugary treats one bite of could probably give you hyperglycemia. Chase overtakes him purely so he can drop bananas in his way. Jameson doesn't listen to whatever Chase blathers on about, too busy doing his best to evade the obstacles instead. He misses the joke about getting his 5-a-day that is hilarious if Chase's laughter is anything to go by. The final course is Bowser's Castle. They are not neck and neck. Jameson is 5 places behind thanks to frequent misfortune with rolling boulders, fireballs and a spiked wrecking ball. There is no need for Chase to be fuelled by competitiveness as he gets ever closer to the finish line on his third lap. Just one more second and... "YES!" Chase jumps up in victory. He swings around to point at his finger at his brother. "In your face, Jameson." Jackie pokes his head around the door in response to the sudden noise. "We finally have a winner?" "Yes, I made Jem eat my dust so hard." "I may have had a better chance of success were it not for the projectile Chase launched at me." "For the last time, I was not responsible for that blue shell. I sent a red shell your way, sure. Not like it hit you." Chase frowns. "And I definitely had nothing to do with you driving off a cliff." "What was this competition about anyway? Marv said you tried to settle it by rock, paper, scissors first. What did you win, Chase?" "Oh, the last cookie." "Cookie?" "Yeah. I got this pack of white chocolate cookies on the way home. Only problem, it was a pack of 5. So we've been trying to work out who gets the last one." "Okay." Jackie goes quiet. "You said white chocolate, right?" "...Yeah." Chase takes a cautious step towards the eldest ego. "What about it?" "So, uh... I may have solved the problem." "How?" It is as pointed as it is short. "Look, I needed some sugar, it was there and-" "Oh, come on. Are you serious?!" "I'm sorry, okay. Really. I should have asked before just taking something from the kitchen. If you want, I'll get a new pack to make it up to you." The vlogger looks between his brothers. The confrontation slumps out of his shoulders. "No, I'll go." With an indecipherable mumble about forgetting something, Chase skulks off. "Well, looks like he's going then." "You could have just had a half each." Jackie comments offhandedly. Jameson rapidly twists around and extends an arm in exasperation. "Exactly. I attempted to suggest splitting it but he kept interrupting me." A smile creeps up. "Though I must admit, this may have been the best course of action. I did enjoy our little contest." In the evening, Jameson heads to his bedroom. He comes across a gift on his dresser that is accompanied by a post it note message. You did a great job today. You're really improving your Mario Kart skills. You should have these. Jameson sighs as he glances at the plate of cookies. Yes, he greatly appreciated the gesture. But there was no way he could stomach more treats. Perhaps tomorrow, he decides. Better yet, he could distribute it amongst his brothers so each got their fair share. Now where could he find a cover to keep them fresh?

[sednas]

the first time toji made you squirt

wrote this at 3am just before crying myself to sleep 🥳

at first I wanted to write headcanons for a few jjk characters, but the power this man holds is too strong

afab!reader

trigger warning: degradation, overstimulation, sub!reader, a kinda soft!dom toji, aftercare

this absolute menace could have made you squirt the very first time you two fucked

but, somehow, he managed to control himself, you were so soft looking, he was actually afraid you might break between his fingers

but he changed his mind the night he caught you masturbating while he was away

he had you trapped against his chest, his left hand dangerously wrapped around your throat while his other one slowly rubbed your clit.

"so... did you really miss me this much honey?"

the pet name could have been cute, but it just sounded so dirty coming out of his mouth, spreading your pussy lips to expose the mess you've made, he pushed your body against his to make you sink a little deeper into his chest, drowning you in his scent.

"staying silent mmh? but look at what you've made down here, your pussy can't lie for you, you really missed me that much you little whore."

he pressed his mouth against the shell of your ear, sending delicious shivers tickling your entire body. you could feel he was smiling, as if he had been waiting for this moment all of his life, waiting to have an excuse to be actually ruthless with you, not giving you any rest until he was satisfied. lucky for you, toji only needed one thing to be satisfied: to watch you fall apart under him. his strong arms caging you to keep you imprisoned against his chest, he let his right hand wonder once again, smiling when he felt your pussy throb under the teasing touch of his fingers.

"always so sweet for me, let me give you what you need sweetheart."

while he was talking he started to rub circles on you clit once again, and you were so horny from touching yourself earlier and from his teasing that you came on his fingers just a few seconds after he started touching you, which made him laugh mockingly.

"damn, you really are a desperate slut don't you? no no don't start drifting off now, I'm not done with you yet."

you didn't even ride out your orgasm that his two fingers placed on your clit started moving again, faster and rougher, making you jolt under him.

"to-toji! s'too much!"

oh that wasn't going to be enough to stop him, not with the way your hips bucked up to make his fingers push a little deeper into your flesh. with your thighs violently shaking and your whimpers, toji could feel his hard dick throbbing in his pants, tightening his grip on your throat every time your back brushed his crotch a little too hard. but he could edge himself, right now it was all about you, the reactions you were giving to him were priceless, it only made him want to rub your clit faster, your whimpers weren't enough he wanted you to scream.

"c'mon now what were you thinking about when you were touching yourself mmh? thinking about my big cock buried inside your tiny pussy yeah? slamming you down on the mattress like an animal, fucking you like the needy bitch you are?"

you could only nod your head, mewling intelligible words as your vision got blurry, feeling a second orgasm coming, stronger than the previous one. his two fingers coated in your wetness didn't slow down when you screamed you were coming, it only made him go even faster, overstimulating you once again, making you feel like you were going to explode.

"that's it beautiful, make a mess."

and it's only when you found a normal breathing again that you realized that you did as he said, making a mess on his fingers and the sheets, your inner thighs soaked in your fluids. he removed his hand from your throat, placing it on your cheek instead, cupping your whole face with only one hand. your thighs twitched once again, his fingers still rubbing your clit, in a very slow pace, barely touching it.

"that was really good sweetheart I'm proud of you..."

he placed a gentle kiss on your temple, and you sighed at his softness, slowly closing your eyes, your body exhausted from this violent orgasm. his green eyes fell on your face, damn he really wanted to be ruthless, but you were so sweet for him, so obedient and eager to please, he couldn't bring himself to be rough with you.

"fuck you're so beautiful..."

he lifted you with his arms, laying you next to him and you immediately crawled upon his torso, taking his hand in yours.

"I love you."

his eyes flicked over you, his scarred lips curling into a smirk, and he pinched your cheek lovingly.

"you love me huh? good, I love you too honey, stay still, I'm going to grab a towel to clean you up since you've made a mess you dirty slut."

'slut' as a pet name of course, you caught him off guard with your confession so he panicked and did the thing he was the best at, degrade you (in a loving way), so you could have honey and slut in the same sentence! <3

a lovely reminder that reblogs and comments are highly appreciated ♡

jujutsu kaisen masterlist

[lediableblancdotcom]

After the events of Knights of X #5 and the Death appearance some fans in a FB group questioned the past of Death and Gambit. So I broke out the archives at 3am and listed the Death appearances for them quickly. After a little sleep I threw together a better synopsis. Not only am I surprised how little Deathbit has appeared in the storyline, but how much time lapses between appearances. This is obviously a story that needs to be explained and explored, if anything to put it to rest. So here we go, buckle up for this ADHD fangirl rollercoaster.....

Deathbit first appeared in 2006 on the last page of X-Men (Legacy) #184. It was also followed up by a short story in the back of the comic showing the brutal and heroic creation of the Horseman Death by Apocalypse. This was where we all got a dose of how far Gambit's making stupid decisions for righteous reasons bullshit can go. Also a reminder of how stupidly strong Gambit can be, but no one pays attention.

After that the original story arc of Gambit as Death appeared throughout X-Men (Legacy) #185-#187, where his story was completed as a death gas wielding bipolar Horseman. Apocolypse's control was destroyed fully by the purifying fires of Sunfire, whom was a current Horseman too, but his appearance stayed that of Deathbit. After that Sunfire and Gambit walked off stage left and are not seen again until they are Marauders in their normal form (I think they forgot a few steps there....HELLO!)

Gambit re-joins the team, Death and the Marauders team-up was never really explained and then forgotten, as Marvel does. Deathbit does not pop back up into conversation until 2009, when we get a very random short story in X-Men Legacy Annual #1. Somehow a no name mutant manages to find and release Death just enough to get himself killed. Again, Gambit goes back to normal within a panel or two and it is never mentioned or worried about.

In 2010 we get the Second Coming story arc running through the X-Men titles. In that arc we get the 3 issue mini-series called Hellbound. They send some reject mutants they don't care to lose to Limbo to save Utopia. While there, Deathbit reappears and fully takes over as main persona after seeing Limbo as Horseman Disneyland, a nice place to rule. This is the first time we actually see him use his ability to take prisoners as little Death slaves. He possesses Dazzler and Northstar and controls them. Now this seems like it would have been a more useful power than the death gas we got in the first appearance, but hey. This time Death was shoved back down by Pixie and Magik combining their powers and stabbing him at the same time. Again, Deathbit exits stage left and never spoke of again.

Death is a fever dream to most, until 2022. Twelve years later they bring Deathbit back into play in Knight of X. After some magic and roundtable tomfoolery, he reappears and starts playing his murder spree among his peer circle, like usual. He does again try to use his death slave thing, but the death gas was never used or mentioned. In the end, he was again stabbed by a magic sword thanks to Betsy and burned by purifying fire by Sunfire, bringing him back to himself.

So, will this be the end of Deathbit? Or are we just going to have to wait another decade for his reappearance. It is obvious that Death was never removed permanently from Gambit, but it is being trapped in their somehow. It would have been nice to hear what happened between Gambit and Sunfire leaving as Horsemen and returning as Marauders in regular form. It would be nice to hear some history before all the readers forget what the hell happened a decade ago. Oh well, there is the information, do with it as you will. Until the next time I need to purge my brain.... - As an extra bonus, a "family portrait" appeared in All New X-Factor #17 of Deathbit and his Horsemen family, but there was no storyline to it, just a quick reminder that it happened in the characters' pasts.

[mikeys-bike-slut]

Untitled Part 2.

i'm srsly calling this Untitled, welp

Anyway, here's Part 1 and some warnings for this chap.

Warnings: violence, injury, mention of sexual activities, very mild smut, sexual assault threats

Word count: 2975

(halfway through my dumbass forgot if Hanma is the leader of Valhalla or not so um.. surprise? I guess cause now he is. it's 3am leave me alone T_T)

***

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you..." he said in a serious but quiet as he looked down avoiding my gaze. "I should have never laid a finger on you.. I let my anger control me and I just couldn't stop" he continued as his voice started to get annoyed and he clenched his fist. I can tell how much he was beating himself up for hurting me.

I turned around fully and cupped his face then softly wiped the dried blood off of his face as I lifted his head up to look at me. "Don't forget who threw the first punch.. me. I am not innocent here, Mikey" I said in a serious tone then let out a small sigh. "All I wanted is to be treated like any of the other members.. I disobeyed your orders and on top of that I have taken Babu without your permission, tell me what would you have done if it would've been Baji or Mitsuya, huh?" I cocked a brow as I looked at him. 

"Would've beaten them to a pulp..." Mikey replied with a deep sigh then just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. I just smiled as I knew he finally understood. "I guess you're right..." he said with a heavy voice, I can tell he is hating to admit that he was wrong. He pulled away then looked at me. "Though they would've never dare to punch me" he added with a slight smirk then let out a small laugh.

"Look... I am not saying you deserved it but-" I just left the sentence hanging and Mikey given me an offended look then we both just laughed.

"And you know what you deserve?" he cocked a brow with a grin as his voice suddenly dropped and the grin turned into a smirk on his velvet soft lips while he slowly backed me up against the tiles.

"Not what you want Mikey" I winked at him then gently pushed him away causing him to give me a look like I just ate his last dorayaki, making me let out a small laugh. 

"You're such a tease" he pouted then playfully smacked my ass as he reached for the shower gel. 

***

Next morning:

I woke up to my entire body being sore, getting beaten up by the commander of the Tokyo Manji Gang isn't exactly gonna leave you feeling refreshed. Thinking back, it's kind of terrifying that that wasn't even Mikey's full power. I know him and I know  he was holding back, if he would've used his full strength I'd have actual broken bones and or would be in body bag. We often fight but we never really hurt hurt each other, just some bruises and limps, nothing a few days rest won't fix.

When I tried to move I felt something heavy on me and as I looked down the first thing I saw was a ball of messy blonde locks on my stomach which belonged to a certain leader who was snoring on my stomach with his arms wrapped around my waist. I couldn't help but smile, sometimes he can be adorable. Suddenly my phone buzzed, I stretched out then when I grabbed the device and unlocked it, it was a text from the other blonde.

I bite my lip and let muffled moan as I read that text. Draken had the very annoying talent of being able to turn me on with a single sentence and he knew this very well and used it very well. I put my phone back onto the bedside table then reach down to my anchor and gently nudge him. "Wakey, wakey, Mikey" I chirp as I play with his messy hair.

"I don't think so..." he mumbles and buries his face deeper in my stomach making me giggle.

"Draken texted me he's coming to pick me up, I have to get ready. Come on, get up" I nudge him again and as he hears Draken's name he growls then lightly bites my exposed stomach to show his displease. "Hey!" I chuckle. "Careful..." 

"Why...?" he purrs in his sleepy tone then moves his head lower and starts leaving sloppy kisses as he goes lower on my body, dangerously getting close to the waist band of my PJ shorts which ignites the fire inside me.

"Mikey...." I groan then push him off of me before I fall under his spell again and just sit on his face and ride him till kingdom come. Mikey has the irritating habit of pushing me to the edge until I literally turn into his slut, doing whatever his horny little heart desire which result in hours upon hours of fucking and sucking and licking and whatever one's perverted mind can imagine. 

"You suck" he groans then giving me an offended pout. "Go and have fun with Draken then but then don't miss me" he says with a shrug then turns onto his stomach. 

"You seriously going to stay in my bed?" I cock a brow as I sit up and look at him, I'd say in disbelief but it's Mikey, he loves self-inviting himself to everywhere.

"Isn't that where I belong?" he gives me a tired but cocky grin as he turns his head towards me to look at me.

"Shut up and get up" I chuckle then shake my head as I get out of bed and grab my clothes. "I'm gonna have a quick shower, don't destroy my house when Draken gets here" I warn Mikey then walk into my bathroom and let the water run. 

As I wait for the water to get to a decent temperature I start wondering where Draken is planning to take me, especially that he knows I'm with Mikey. Mikey tends to get a horrible attitude when someone takes me from him. Outside of Toman Mikey knows no boundaries and loves acting like a brat especially when it comes to me. 

I try to have a shower as quickly as I can as I don't trust the tired, bratty ball of jealousy to behave when his taller friend gets here, but the second the hot water touches my skin I get lost in the calming, relaxing blanket the hot water throws on me. I close my eyes and allow myself to get lost in it and let my brain switch off. I don't know how long I was under the shower but suddenly a muffled yell wakes me up from my relaxation. I turn off the water immediately and wrap a towel around myself and rush outside before they destroy my house. Of course when I walk out I see Draken and Mikey staring down each other with Mikey holding my baseball bat and Draken holding my tennis racket.

"Idiots!" I yell as I walk up to them and smack both of them up the head. "Put the damn things down and behave like adults" both male hisses as my hand makes intact with the back of their heads especially Draken who has no hair to protect his melon. 

"He started it..." Draken mumbles as he points at Mikey while putting the racket down. 

"And I'm finishing it" I growl and cross my arms on my chest. "Now can I go dry myself and get dressed without fearing that you dumbasses will kill each other?" 

"You don't have to get dressed for my sake" Draken says with a slight smirk and I just flip him off. 

"And I can always help you dry yourself... though usually it's the other way 'round" Mikey winks at me and I just roll my eyes at them. 

"It's 10 am how in the hell are both of you so horny?" I shake my head and they both just start laughing.

I roll my eyes and retreat into the bathroom quickly drying myself then getting dress in a simple white tank top and some baggy black pants, putting my long light pink hair in my usual high pony tail. I stretch as I walk out, surprisingly finding both males talking to each other and laughing. I swear these two could be killing each other than having drinks the next. 

"Alright, I'm ready" I say as I walk up to Draken and flick his ear playfully. 

"Hey! Careful" he growls then sighs. "You're spending too much time with Mikey because you're starting to become a nuisance like him" 

"You love me" Mikey grins then yawns. "You two go ahead I'm gonna have another nap"

"If you leave don't forget to lock the house" I sigh then throw him my spare keys, knowing there is no way I can get him out of my bed and I am doing everyone a favour by not kicking him out cause God save us if we Mikey ever shows up, tired and cranky. I grab my bag shoving my phone and wallet in it then grab my bike's keys but Draken takes them from me and hang them up back on the key holder while giving me a kiss in the progress.

"You're riding with me" he says casually with a small smile and I just cock a brow suspiciously.

"Alright..." I say in a questioning tone then give one last glance at Mikey who's already back to deep slumber then just sigh and follow the tall shaved headed male out. As much as I was suspicious I trust both of them with my life. 

Draken gets on his Zephyr then hands him his spare helmet. I put it on then sit up behind him. "Hold on tight" he gives me a grin as he glances back at me then revs the motor and takes off. I let out a laugh from the sudden speed and wrap my arms tightly around his waist. We both laugh as he rides off to god knows where. 

After a good 20 minutes of bike ride Draken pulls up to an old shrine then cuts off the engine and gets off his bike then helps me off.

"Kenny, what are we doing here?" I cock a brow confused as I look around. 

"I have to show you something" he says in a serious tone. "This is something you cannot tell Mikey" I cock a brow even more confused as I follow him to the back of the shrine where he stops and points at unfamiliar gang mark.

"I don't recognize the mark" I say as I crouch down to take a closer look.

"It's Valhalla" he answers and my eyes widen. 

"What? They already marking their territory? Rather cocky of them if you ask me..." I say annoyed. 

"They're growing, rapidly and at an alarming rate. I wanted to let Mikey know but he has a lot going on right now and with Shinichiro's anniversary coming up I don't trust him to act with a clear head so we have to do something" he says as he looks at me. "Are you in?" 

Before I could answer we're interrupted by a loud roaring of bikes pulling up and start circling us. Great... Valhalla. 

"Well, well, well what have we here. Not the vice commander of Toman and their little whore?" one of the guys asks with a mocking tone as they shut their bikes off and get off of their vehicles. 

"Watch your mouth" Draken warns him. "You think we can beat them?" he smiles as he glances down at me.

"Oh, with pleasure" I grin then I stretch and crack my knuckles. "I take left, you take right?"

"Sounds perfect" he smirks then we both take off and starts kicking down and punching who ever gets in our way before they could have a chance to attack us. After easily knocking down more than half of the men, the rest stop and hesitate whether to attack us or not. 

"Wh-why... how can she fight like that...?" one of the men growl in annoyance. 

"She's the only person who ever beaten Mikey, keep that in mind. She's the pride and joy of Toman, if you see the wings and the dragon together you better run" Draken says with a proud grin. 

"You gonna make me blush" I blow him a kiss then kick off one of the guys who tried to attack me thinking I had my guard down. "Anyone else wants to go?" 

A murmur ran across the men surrounding us until I heard a familiar voice behind them, as the crowd opened up a black and blonde guy walked out with a sick grin on his face. Hanma... the current leader of Valhalla, the only person who ever dodged Mikey's kick. 

"I got this... stay behind" Draken says with a serious tone as he walks in front of me. "Been waiting for this for quiet a while" he says while cracking his knuckles.

"No, it's my turn to wipe that fucking grin of off his face" I say with a growl then without hesitation I charge at him but last minute I change direction and kick him from the side, straight hitting his temples. He stumbles back and just laughs. 

"You dumb whore. I'm gonna enjoy killing Mikey's little slut" he laughs then charges at me with such a sudden motion I can't even react. Everything happens so fast by the time I realized what happened I've been thrown across the ground with a piercing pain in my lower abdomen.

"Angel!" Draken yells then clenches his fist and jumps in front of me dodging the attack Hanma wanted to lay on me while I was down. "You have some nerve, hitting a girl while she is down" he clicks his tongue then punches Hanma hard enough to send him flying which surprises the shithead. "You okay Ang?" Draken asks in a softer tone as he turns back to me and helps me up. As I finally get back up on my feet I notice Hanma charging at Draken from behind. 

"Duck!" I yell at Draken who immediately ducks allowing me to swing my legs over him and kick Hanma away with a grin, ignoring the pain that shoots across my entire body. "Hanma you don't wanna mess with a dragon and an angel" I grin with a slight pant then I spit some blood on the ground and wipe my lips.

Hanma growls as he wiping the blood off of his face, glaring at both of us with pure hatred in his eyes. "This isn't over, tell Mikey to expect war, you disrespected us long enough you little shits" he says coldly then motions to his men to wrap it up. "Toman is over!" he barks. "And you... when Toman falls you'll be nothing more than a toy for us. We'll see how big your mouth is when 300 men fucks you one by one" 

Draken eyes darkens and steps towards Hanma calmly. "You'll die before you could lay a finger on her" 

With that Hanma got on his bike and ride off with the rest of his beaten up gang. I let out a sigh then collapse on my ass as the adrenaline wore off and I started to feel the pain of the punch Hanma laid on me. 

"Shit, you okay Ang?" Draken asks worried as he crouches down then picks me up carefully.

"Don't worry big guy, if I can take a punch from Mikey I can take it from anyone" I chuckle forcefully not wanting him to worry but it's hard to hide the pain I was in. The last time my insides were this rearranged is when Draken fucked me on the back of his bike. "I just need to lay down, we won't say a word about this to Mikey though, otherwise we're both dead" 

"Oh god, that is true" he sighs then lets out a small chuckle. "I almost forgot how hot you look when you fight though" he winks at me as he carries me to his bike then carefully sits me up on his back seat. 

"I can say the same thing about you" I wink at him as I look up at him. He looks around then once he's certain no one is around he leans down and gives me a long kiss. I run my hand up his cheek and lean into his kiss more eagerly then I intended and he notices.

"Hmm, let me take you to mine so you can rest and get your strength back... so I can take it all again" he smirks and kisses me again then hands me his helmet.

"I mean after Hanma's punch I think my insides need to be re-arranged again" I smirk and then I make a fake gagging sound as I hold my abdomen. "I think my stomach swapped places with my liver."

"Jesus Christ Angel... like are you okay?!" he asks with a laugh and a disturbed look on his face as he looks at me.

"It's fine, I'm sure they'll eventually crawl back to their original places" I say it with a playful strained voice and he just shakes his head and playfully shove the helmet in my head.

"Strap in and shut up" he says with a defeated small chuckle then puts his helmet on and sit up in front of me.

I chuckle and fix the helmet, ignoring the pain all the laughing and chuckling is causing my lower abdomen then wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his back. As we start riding I start to think about everything that just happened. Did we just started war between Valhalla and Toman? We need to talk to Mikey, he needs to know this but with Shinichiro's anniversary he won't be able to think clear, Draken is right but then what else can we do? There's only one thing that will work, as cruel as it is if we want to survive it has to be done. 

Mikey, forgive me for this. 

[eternalmx]

lay you down. | im changkyun

summary: forbidden, hot touches at 3am.

warnings : smut. you've been warned. unprotected sex. (wrap it up demon lovers)

a/n : I just got straight to the point sorry not sorry♡ I didn't proof read this either :] (update: all the horrific typos dndjd are gone)

wc | 1720

{3:12𝓪𝓶} His eyes watched as she sipped the red wine from the glass and sat it back on the carpet next to her, eyes watching as she licked off her lips and looked up at him.

"What?" she asked. Leaning back on the palms of her hands and stretching her legs.

"Nothing" he said. Clearing his throat. They were both a bit buzzed, nothing out of hand but enough that their eyes were glassy red and their voices low. The air growing thicker as the silence grew longer.

"Tell me" she whined softly, scooting closer to him on the carpet.

"I want you so bad" he said, running his hands through her hair. She leaned in, lips inches away from his.

"So take me" she said. That was all he needed. Changkyun's hands pulling her onto his lap. She was putting up a small fight and refused to put her weight on him and her womanhood against his clothed bulge. He shifted causing her to lose her balance and pushing against him. Earning a moan from her.

The kiss grew more intense as his hands snaked against her body, under his oversized sinner sweatshirt. Their lips tasted of red wine. Bitter with a hint of sweet. His hands holding her hips tightly. He softly moved her hips against his clothed bulge causing her to throw her head back in pleasure. Changkyun took it as his sign to mark her. He left wet kisses along her neck and began sucking and biting at all the sensitive spots that he knew drove her wild. Her hips still moving against his jeans creating more friction. His hand running through her hair after trailing his tongue over her neck.

"You look so beautiful like this" Changkyun said, pushing hair out of her eyes. Small moans escaping her lips as he held her hips to stop her from moving against him. His fingers pushing the soft lace fabric of her panties to the side. He groaned as his fingers trailed her wetness.

"I've barely touched you yet baby, what do you want me to do?" he asked, fingers teasingly running along her folds. Changkyun kissed her lips, Once. One finger. Twice. Two fingers. His rough kiss concealing her moans.

"F-fuck" she hissed against his lips. The room filling with lewd sounds of his fingers and her wetness. Her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she pushed her head against his. Hips moving in sync with his pulsing fingers.

"You're so good to me" he said, kissing her forehead as he felt her walls clench around his fingers. Her breathing becoming heavier as he kept up his work.

"Ba-babe, i-im close" she moaned, lips pressing against his as the pressure building up in her stomach became more apparent. Changkyun slowly pulled his fingers out and began rubbing small circles against her clit. Soft whines escaped her lips as her eyebrows furrowed. Eyes closed she held his shoulders and threw her head back in pleasure. The pressure building back up in her stomach before he stopped again.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked, breathless as he pulled her off his lap.

"Because I want to treat you. I've been thinking about doing this all day and now it's here. I don't want to rush it." Changkyun said, causing butterflies to grow in her stomach. The high she was once at now long gone. She sat in front of him and smiled with lazy eyes. The mix of pleasure, alcohol, and lack of sleep making the euphoric 3am feeling more relevant. She grabbed at his shirt and pulled it up and got rid of it for him. She softly pushed his hair back leaving kisses along his neck. Her lips softly began sucking at his sweet spot before he softly lifted her face up.

"Baby..." Changkyun said softly, holding her head between his hands, "you know you cant leave marks. It'll be too obvious and the make up artist won't be happy about it either" he said, looking at her expression shift slightly before going back to normal.

"Just one.. If it's well hidden?" she asked. Hands fumbling with his belt as she straddled his lap. She pushed him down softly so his back was flat against the floor. His hands holding her waist as she unbuckled his belt and slowly slid off his jeans. Leaving him in only his boxers. She readjusted herself on his lap as she left a trail of kisses down his chest to his torso. Changkyun's hands softly grabbing at her hair as she never broke eye contact. Her hand roughly landing on his dick. Changkyun groaned, breaking eye contact and throwing his head back. His muscles clenched on his abs as her hand played with him through his pants. Slightly teasing but removing and reapplying pressure against his hardness. Her lips leaving wet kisses over the waist band of his boxers.

"Fuck! If you keep doing that I won't last much longer baby" he said, lifting his head to look down at her. Their eyes meeting causing him to go over the edge seeing his beautiful girl hovered over him. Her soft wine stained lips leaving wet kisses along his sensitive spots. She left one mark. One mark against his v line on his hip bone. She licked over it after it became apparent. Her hands moving against him in a fast motion. One more grab at kyun's hardness threw him over the edge. His head flew back and his dick twitched underneath her hand. She smiled to herself, because of the reaction she was earning from him.

Changkyun sat up slowly catching his breath before pushing her to the ground softly so he was hovering her this time. He placed soft kisses along her neck and softly pushed his hands under the sweatshirt,helping her get rid of it.

"I don't think you're aware of how much power you have over me" he said, grabbing her hands and holding them above her head. His eyes scanning her body wearing nothing but lace panties. His fingers traced the outline of it as she hummed. Fingers burning her skin and sending a rush of adrenaline through her. Her hips jerked involuntarily towards his hand as he pushed them down. He began kissing down her chest softly kissing and sucking her nipples softly before continuing to her panties. His tongue licking over her stomach as he placed kisses on her clothes womanhood. Her back arched as Changkyun hummed against her heat sending vibrations through her body. His fingers softly tugging the fabric down before coming back up to her face. One of his hands still holding her wrists above her head. His free hand landing between her legs. This time he didn't hold back, roughly rubbing circles against her clit. Causing a loud moan of his name to fill the room. His fingers pushing through her walls pumping in and out before coming back out and rubbing at her clit. Her back arched as her high crept back up on her.

"K-kyun please" she said, voice coming out in a breathless whisper. His fingers switching from fast to slow past causing her breath to hitch every few seconds.

"Please what?" he said, kissing at her neck and collarbone.

"I want you" she says, causing him to stop his movement and get rid of his boxers.

Changkyun positioned himself against her entrance. Her back arching at the feeling of his tip against her folds. He teasingly rubbed against her folds before pushing all the way in. Her hands guiding his to her neck as he wrapped his hands softy around her. His pressure tightening and loosening along with his thrust. The breath play making her walls clench around him as he pounded in and out of her at a painfully slow pace.

"You take me so well babe" Kyun said, his endless praises making her cheeks heat up. The room falling silent then picking back up with moans as they both neared their highs.

His thrust got sloppier as her eyes became heavy from pleasure. Both their names falling from each other's lips. If this is what heaven is they both never wanted out.

"I-im close" she moaned, as she wrapped her legs around his waist pushing him deeper than before. His arms on either side of her head. Her eyes squeezing shut just as the pressure hit her core. His hands grabbing her face softly.

"I love you. Look at me when you cum baby" Changkyun said, in between thrust as she reached her high. His words sending her over the edge. Her hips still moving softly to help keep the friction going as he reached his high. They both cried out each other's names before coming down from their high.

"I love you too, kyun" she said, pulling him in for a kiss before he pulled out of her and laid down next to her. His eyes scanning the marks he left on her body and his hand running along them.

"I made this one just for you" he said, rubbing his thumb against the mark on her hip that was similar to the one she left on his. A small whimper escaped her lips, as he rubbed the freshly bruised area. She smiled,because even during sex he still had a well thought out plan to making things even.

"Let's get cleaned up" she said, getting up and grabbing his sweatshirt to cover her body.

"Seriously?" Kyun asked, leaning up on his elbow.

"What?" she asked, a little confused as she held the sweatshirt against her body.

"We just had sex. Hot sex and you're still covering yourself. It's nothing I haven't seen before babygirl... Don't be shy" he said, with a cocky smile across his face.

"We did just have hot sex. Doesn't mean you get to see the goods for free whenever you want. Are you coming to shower with me or not?" she asked, rolling her eyes but fighting a smile threatening to take over her lips.

"Eager for round two are we?" he said, rasing an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, you wish" she said, as Changkyun got up and walked towards her.

"Oh, I know" he said, grabbing her hips and guiding her into the bathroom down the hall.

[bowtothewitch]

Synopsis: I had this idea at 3am one week ago and couldn't get it out of my head. So, here you go, Beauty and The Beast AU!

Word Count: 1,206

Triggers Warnings: This first episode is focused on the curse, so a little bit of angst.

A/N: I have no excuse for this. 100% self indulgent fanfic. Click on the gif for HD quality. Also, english is not my first or even second language, so sorry for any eventual mistake. But I hope you guys enjoy it anyway!

Tag List: @jj-arms

"Agatha Harkness, are you a witch?" The matriarch's voice echoed through the walls of the castle's main hall, her question directed to the girl kneeling in the center of the circle made by several other women.

"Yes, I am!" She replied, writhing against the magical bonds that held her hands.

"And yet, you have betrayed your coven, stealing knowledge that goes beyond your understanding, putting us in danger of being discovered in front of the entire village!"

Agatha shook her head, "that was an accident, I swear! I couldn't control it, I-"

"Enough! I don't want to hear your excuses anymore! None of this would have happened if you hadn't tried to use black magic, breaking all of our rules!"

Before they even discovered that the book of the damned had disappeared from the library, it was already possible to feel the weight of black magic deep-rooted in the thick walls of the castle. It had started out subtle, like a shiver, a bad feeling on a full moon night.

Soon, however, it became unbearable, the air slowly being corrupted with each word that was read and turned into a spell. The bell of the west wing tower rang, alerting of the theft of the book and starting a search through the castle and its surroundings.

But Agatha had never been a fool. She could be called many things: prodigy, intelligent, and even rebellious, but never foolish. Some preventing spells avoided the book from being discovered in her possession, but it was not enough.

As much knowledge as she acquired, the witch was still very young, inexperienced, and black magic was not as simple as the one taught by her coven. Unlike that, it was a savage force, which was hardly controllable.

And then, one day, something broke inside the witch. On one of the visits to the village, more precisely. Agatha had a real fondness for flowers and always brought some back to the castle, even though the garden was already full of them. But this time, as she held a rose, one of the thorns pricked her finger and as soon as a drop of her blood dripped on the ground, her vision blurred and the voices that began as mere whispers in her mind began to scream, causing the witch to fall on the ground in despair. In the blink of an eye that glowed blue, several tents burned for no apparent reason, causing hysteria in people and chaos that would certainly last for many days. Now that paranoia had settled in the population, how long would it take before suspicions were raised against women who faithfully followed their widowed queen? There were already enough rumors about the hilltop castle and its inhabitants, and that was the spark ready to start a witch hunt.

And so it became undeniable that the culprit for practicing the darkest magic was Agatha. When her eyes opened again, she was back at home, being prepared for the trial.

But nothing had changed, including her thinking.

"I didn't break your rules, they just bended to my power," Agatha smiled arrogantly, feeling the eyes of all witches against her. Still, she kept her head up, never taking her eyes off the matriarch, who simply lowered her eyes, feeling her heart break. There was no alternative.

When silence was the only answer, everyone else understood what it meant. Soon the silence was filled with murmurs and the darkness was filled with the blue light that shone from each of their hands.

Agatha looked around, finally realizing what her penalty was. Death. Her blood ran cold, as tears filled her eyes, "please wait! I just wanted to learn! I have no control! Help me," when her pleas fell on deaf ears, her eyes turned to the matriarch, "mother, please , mot-"

And then everything became pain. It was sudden, the blinding light hitting her, making her body burn from the inside out, fire running through her veins. Agatha felt her throat burn with her screams, but she couldn't hear them, and her eyes only saw red.

But just like in the village, something happened. With one last cry, her body spasmed and the pain stopped. As if she were underwater, rising back to the surface, her senses became more and more clear. The murmurs had turned to grunts. The red and blue had turned to purple. And where she had previously felt paralyzing numbness, now only got stronger, breaking the bonds that bound her.

Looking around again, Agatha realized the reason quickly. Her body was absorbing the powers of the other witches, also taking their vital energy. She could have stopped, saved their lives, but the understanding was too satisfying for that.

Her eyes then met her mother's before the hall fell into darkness again, the sound of the bodies hitting the floor bringing her back to reality.

"Mom, please ... I can be good," her voice broke and Agatha didn't even try to stand up.

"No, you can't," tears fell from Evanora's eyes, "I failed you once, but I will not fail again."

"Are you going to finish what they started ?! Are you going to kill me ?!" She sobbed.

"I could never do that, Agatha. I am your mother," all there was in her voice was pain, "but I will not let anyone else suffer your wrath, your thirst for power has gone too far."

And once again the hall was filled with light, temporarily blinding Agatha. When her eyes adjusted, she could see her mother, hovering in front of her, her dress and hair fluttering with the strong wind suddenly coming from the window, holding a rose. The same rose from the fair.

"Agatha Harkness, I now judge your crimes as matriarch of our coven. You were consumed by the desire for power and it costed the lives of our sisters! Your punishment will be to remain here, in the castle grounds, hidden from the rest of the world and forgotten until someone you learn to love, someone that you'll be willing to sacrifice yourself for, and that returns your love, arrives; loving you even in your changed form. But remember: this must happen before the last petal of this rose falls, or the curse against you and the rest of the castle will be eternal!"

Before she could react, a blast of light took over the entire castle, the magic spreading quickly, faster and more dispersed than Agatha could absorb, transforming everyone it touched. The forest closed and rose, blocking all roads, while a transparent mantle covered the castle, hiding and isolating it, along with all of its inhabitants.

With one last look at her daughter, Evanora teleported herself behind the magic barrier, using all the magic left in her to seal the curse so that Agatha could not break it unless its conditions were met. Her heart was in pieces, but there was still hope for her daughter, she knew it was.

Within the castle walls, however, hope was the last thing Agatha felt as she looked at her black-marked hands, felt fangs growing in her mouth just like the horns on the top of her head.

For, after all, who could love a monster?