#it'd come off as gibberish

[inspectorspacetimerevisited]

‘If this is ancient Greece, why are all the signs in English?’

‘The BOOTH automatically translates everything for you.’

‘And, what happens if I speak Greek? Like, “souvlaki”?’

‘Please don’t, it will only confuse the locals. Plus, souvlaki hasn’t been invented yet. It’d come off as gibberish.’

[spyderlondon]

A Shadowy Beginning

Shadow!Caine and art by @00belle00lovely00

----

The trapped players were all currently in their rooms- or a pillow fort in Kinger's case- either resting after the long, arduous adventure they had that day or giving themselves time alone. Caine, on the other hand, was flitting around the out of bounds area of the game as he was making preparations for the next day's adventure. He was so busy that he hadn't noticed a bit of code making its way out of the out of bounds area.

The code moved through the circus tent's code as it was able to make its way down into the cellar where it knew it could find plenty of mistakes that it could make its own.

The string of code moved around the pitch dark pit that was full of colorful eyes that had no idea of what was about to come. It could just hear their codes crying out for their non-existent exit or different names of current of past circus members but it all sounded like gibberish. It didn't matter, none of these things mattered.

The code began to slither its way out of the tent's code and slipped inside of one of the abstracted beings' code, forcing it to shift and change to its own so it could be a bit more whole even if it could never be finished.

The abstraction sounded like they were screaming in pain as they felt their code being forcibly taken over and partially rewritten. They could feel themselves no longer being who they once were and their memories being scrambled, shoved back.

It took some time but the code was able to force the abstraction to change from a bodiless creature with no mind to become a body all for itself. It looked like a shadow version of Caine in possible way except it lacked the bright colors that practically defined the circus' ringmaster. But if someone were to see him in the dead of night where color was already drained, it'd be extremely hard to tell the actual difference.

The newly formed Shadow Caine moved around a bit to check how easy it would be to move around before noticing how a couple colorful eyes appeared on his body and frowned, "Now then, that simply will not do." He clicked his tongue as he had his code restrict and basically strangle the eyes into vanishing with an audible pop sound, making the nearby abstractions move away as if in fear.

The physical shadow simply patted himself off before flying up and out of the cellar, he had a few circus members to meet before the true Caine left the out of bounds area to start a new day.

------

A/N: I was gonna include how Shadow!Caine interacts with the characters but strangely- I feel like this is a good stopping point for this story. If you guys, wanna see more of Shadow!Caine, I'll happily take requests for him (or anything else)

[yurinaa-world]

𝒟𝓇𝓊𝓃𝓀 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹

Characters: Dan Heng x Gender-Neutral Reader

Synopsis: you seem to have too much to drink and now you're sulking over the fact he's not with you (even though you're literally dating him)

Warnings: Fluff, spelling mistakes, reader drunk and talking a little gibberish

𝒟𝒶𝓃 𝐻𝑒𝓃𝑔

What was happening again? your head felt fuzzy very fuzzy, everything was so messed up, the taste of hard liquor on your tongue, making your taste buds want to burn off, laying against the wall while sitting on Dan Heng’s trashy bed with books around you and bright colorful floor making your head dizzy just by looking at it. Where was Dan Heng? Getting you water of course, but the thought of him made you sad, (your brain is making up random things) he didn’t love you, not at all! 

Your breathing started to get heavy, and you felt your heart break a little at the thought. The sound of the door creaking signal that Dan Heng was back, holding a cup of water in one hand yet you didn’t look at him just stared at the ceiling, your heart burning (which might be from alcohol or your broken heart) “I’m back” you don’t say anything when he spoke just the white ceiling.

He sits down “(Name)” he calls out to you, turning to look at him, holding out the glass of water for you to grab and drink from, and do exactly that, you sloppily drink the water, a bit of water falling from the corner of your mouth and ‘ah’ sound coming from your mouth as you put down the now empty glass but drinking it didn’t make you feel better, the ache in your heart was there..

Looking at his hand to see a ring: a green embedded diamond with gold holding it, made you stomach churn “Dan nrng” you slur his name, “it’d not fair!” You whine and he looks at you confused by what you were talking about “What are you-“ you cut him off “Who’s they huh, I could get you a way beyter ring! Thdn theh ever could” you refer to his ring on his ring finger while crossing your arms with a pout on your face.

“Did you forget that you got me this ring?” “I could treat so mucy better! Pick me instead” you stare at him for his answer “you really like to nitpick words. Your also wearing a ring.” He sighs motioning to your hand with your green ring of own matching his? You become sad that you both belong to other people “I don’t cqre if we’re both witg other people, I like you!” you go hug him tightly and he just sighs at your words again.

“Are you that drunk you can’t listen to me” he murmurs in a whisper before getting you to let go of him and you pout still. He grabs the hand your ring is on and puts both your matching rings side to side “I’m not with anyone else I’m with you,” “Oh you are.” And you just smile at him brightly “You'ee dating mr! You’re mine!" You hug him again, he’ll remember not to let you get drunk and avoid all of this.

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!

[arieslost]

saw a tweet that reminded me that oscar had his wisdom teeth taken out after abu dhabi and now im thinking of the days following where's he's high af on painkillers and drooling everywhere

it'd be so funny hearing him sluggishly complaining about how he feels. like just imagine one of the most neutral people to grace the paddock is now sulky and miserable because he can't speak and communicate properly

wait this is so cute and silly

i imagine you’re not only his gf but you’re also in charge of social media for mclaren and you and oscar had both agreed that, while he’d rather not expose himself like this, him doing a video for a little race debrief would do NUMBERS. and of course, he wants you to have good content, so he begrudgingly went along with it.

except he’s so hopped up on painkillers that he thinks he’s saying what he’s meant to say, but it’s all coming out as a bunch of gibberish. “hey guys, it’s oscar,” comes out as something completely nonsensical and you’re behind the phone just laughing your ass off.

and he goes to scold you for laughing but more gibberish comes out and eventually he manages to say “i hate you” which has you on the floor.

and you’re right— once he manages to talk, the video is an instant hit. but he’s just lucky that he only needed the one surgery because he is never doing that again, not even for you.

[epicfranb]

Fuck it I'm not even rereading this. Here you go

Doc hired Etho, a skilled (probably) assassin to kill two of his most hated hermits: Keralis and Bdubs. And, after a long and fierce battle with Keralis that no one ended up winning, Etho wiped the layer of sweat from his forehead and said "Next one's gonna have to wait."

Does he even need to fight Keralis again? Hopefully, the fact that the fight took place is enough. After all, Doc's main goal is to scare them, isn't it? Etho and Doc go way back, so the guess probably has some truth to it.

Fixing up the gear after a long fight like this is a pain though. His sword needs sharping, the bow probably needs replacing, and his armor is... Well, everything could be in a better shape had Etho thought of a plan beyond "spam crossbows, then do whatever". His anvil aim could use some training, and his crossbow machine gun design could be improved. But it's better off in the hands of a more skilled player anyway.

Etho thinks he is quite a skilled player. But not in terms of fighting, no-no. Someone else could take the lead, someone more experienced – Etho's happy enough devising a plan and preparing the gear. Fighting isn't his forte.

Assassinating Bdubs is gonna need a better plan than this. If he succeeds in at least one of the hits, Doc will be happy enough (to pay him). But, unlike Keralis, Bdubs is... Too easy to kill. Pathetically so. It's just going to be boring. He needs a better plan than this.

Fixing armor was a job so usual and monotone to Etho, that it was easy to space out and lose himself in thoughts, and then wake up to a set of fully repaired gear. Normally, he would get some music on, but he kind of forgot about it before he spaced out, thinking about...

Yes, him again. Bdubs.

That man had an annoying habit of occupying all of the space within Etho's head. And, Bdubs himself doesn't do it directly, but Etho blames him anyway, because he knows it'd make him mad.

Bdubs has a funny voice. Every time he speaks, he voices his thoughts in such a strange manner, using some of the strangest vocabulary, interspersed with his "patented" "Bdubs noises". His speech patterns make no sense, the words never quite come out right, he's loud, he's boisterous, he's hilarious, and he's very, very talkative. Man has so many ideas and thoughts running through his head at all times, and he needs to get ALL of them out, to the point where he's been talking for hours, jumping from topic to topic, from idea to idea, and if he isn't stopped, he gets his throat killed. And a lot of the times, his throat does get killed after talking to Etho, because the other spaces out or falls asleep, as if Bdubs's voice is a lullaby to him.

Even now, one swing forth, one swing back, Etho's hands move on their own, the only sound in his head is a replay of Bdubs's voice, saying gibberish. It's like a catchy song that's been stuck in your head, you may not remember the lyrics, but you're enjoying the general sound of it. And Etho enjoyed his imaginary Bdubs singing to him. He has such a beautiful voice.

Helmet done, now onto the wings.

Honestly, it's appalling how different Etho and Bdubs are, even in the small things. Like, taste in food as an example. Etho's first impression of Bdubs was that he's the same sweet tooth that he is; turns out, it's quite the opposite. Bdubs doesn't put any sugar in his morning drinks, and he's a fan of green tea, which Etho only tolerates. He also likes bitter chocolate, and Etho thought those kinds of people only exist in myths... Oh, and he likes raisins. What a weird guy.

Their sleep schedules are so different, that at the rare occasions they've lived together, they barely ever saw each other. Bdubs goes to sleep early, and, despite taking his sweet time getting out of bed, he gets up early, too. A real morning bird with a solid schedule, in contrast to Etho, who stays up all night, working when no one and nothing is around to bother him – and gets up whenever. Sometimes he woke up first, and took his chance to prank Bdubs; other times he wasn't so lucky, and got pranked back. It was a fun back-and-forth while it lasted, but now Etho has the advantage of knowing Bdubs's exact sleep schedule, which Bdubs can't brag about – Etho's schedule is too chaotic. Those games are always fun.

With all the holes in the wings patched up, leggings are next.

Etho recalled his surprise when Bdubs came to him, all those years ago, and with eyes beaming of excitement, exclaimed: "Teach me how to fight!" Etho was never more than decent at fighting, but Bdubs seemed to be so caught up in his idealized version of Etho, that he thought it'd be better to ask him, and not someone who had actual skill. At least, that's what Etho thought at the time.

It was never about the fighting, no. It was never about swords, nor was it about bows or armor – it was about admiration. Bdubs admired Etho, and wanted to be closer to him. No, not in his skill – although, Bdubs admitted, that too – it was just about spending time together. The warmth of the other's skin on his hands, guiding him, on his torso, teaching him, his voice so close like it's reverberating in his heart, and his breath tickling his neck from behind... At least that's what Etho imagined Bdubs felt. Back then, he couldn't put his finger on why Bdubs shivered and blushed so often during their trainings, but, thinking about it now, it made some sense.

Swords clashing against one another, bodies in perfect sync, moving one after the other, shifting their feet in the same rhythm they got adjusted to – it was more like a dance than it was fencing. Sometimes, all of the competitiveness between the two would fade, and they were moments away from throwing their swords on the ground and taking each other's hands, wrap their arms around the other, to guide him somewhere else, in the same dance, same rhythm, but with much different implications. They regretted only a little bit that they never ended up getting into dance.

It was a nice memory, but Etho was somewhat bothered by his cheeks getting hotter. His entire body got hotter, in fact. Sweat dripped from his forehead, and his hands shook slightly.

It seems that it's time for a rest, Etho thought. He still had his boots to repair, but they could wait. He'll be gone only a little while.

For now, maybe he can think about a plan to kill Bdubs... Kill Bdubs, huh. Normally that'd sound quite tempting, but he wasn't really in the mood for any killing now. Getting soft, Etho chuckled to himself. But being soft felt kind of nice once in a while.

If I don't want to kill him, Etho thought as he got into the kitchen – if you could call it that, – maybe I'll find a way to make him die, and me not have to see it. That meant a trap, and, thankfully, Etho had an extensive catalogue of traps permanently in his head. Some of them more obvious, others – devilishly hidden, and whichever one he chose depended on what would get a funnier reaction. In chat, at least. Or in a later conversation.

But nothing really felt right. Etho cracked an egg – fill his base with chickens? no, that won't kill him. Entity cramming maybe? Etho whisked some dough – drowning is a good idea. But it's long, he can get out. And it's painful. Since when was Etho hesitant about a trap being painful? Etho put the cake in the oven –– Wait, cake?

Etho crouched in front of the oven, taking a curious look inside – sure enough, that is a cake. When did he make a cake? Why did he make a cake?

Etho has a pretty strong grasp on his own mind, but even that becomes a mystery when Bdubs is involved.

If the cake was meant to be a trap, it was a bad one. He didn't even put any poison in it! The frosting is now finished too, and that doesn't have any poison either... Unless Etho adds it. Which he doesn't. Whether he forgot, or just didn't want to, he didn't really know. Looking for the right poison, or making it from scratch, was a hassle, and Etho was too lazy to deal with that.

Besides, his mouth watered at his own cake. It was his sugary masterpiece, and he was itching to take a nice big bite off of it... But he held back. This cake is for Bdubs. Once he figures out how to make it into a trap.

Will Bdubs even want to eat such a sweet cake? Etho's mind wandered somewhere else while baking it, so he had no idea how much sugar he actually put into it. Knowing himself and his taste buds, it was probably... Way too much for Bdubs to handle. Maybe the excess sugar can kill him. Yeah, that'll do.

Etho rummaged around his storage system to find a nice big box and some wrapping paper with heart patterns to wrap the cake into. Maybe the heart patterns were excessive – Etho swore he had other types of patterns somewhere – but he couldn't find anything else, and wasn't bothered to. The cake neatly packaged, Etho grabbed his freshly restocked redstone box and flew off in the direction of Bdubs's base.

Etho usually thinks. He thinks about what he's gonna do next, even when he does something on a whim, he thinks first. How am I gonna do it? What are the steps? What am I going to need? His mind was in a haze as he flew, as if locked out of his own head, only able to peek through the bars, and the only thing left of his brain was an enormous screen with just images of Bdubs on it. This was getting ridiculous, but he couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop. The thoughts felt nice.

Bdubs wasn't online, thankfully, so setting up a trap didn't require any stealth ninja moves. Etho didn't even try to hide that it was a trap: the gift box was sitting right on top of an observer, ready to trigger it. There was nothing under it but a dispenser – what was in it? a damage potion? lava? exactly 24 boats to entity cram him (forget that you can't fit 24 boats in one dispenser)? Well, Bdubs is going to have to find out himself. The joy of discovery, and all. Etho's heart raced, despite knowing Bdubs isn't here to catch him in the act; he felt hot all over, despite Bdubs's biome being cooler than his; and his cheeks hurt from smiling, even though nothing happened yet. There was no rational reason for any of those body reactions to occur; and yet, they did. A human's body is hardly ever rational, but Etho found comfort in knowing what causes which reactions, and he was clueless about his current state. He guessed that he was just really looking forward to the prank working... I mean, what prank? It's a death trap! Totally!...

***

Etho had completely forgotten about the trap, when his communicator buzzed in his pocket. All of the gear repaired, and all the hitman matters taken care of, he has managed to distract himself from thinking about his... Friend, and get to work. However, the friend demanded attention, and who was Etho to decline him that attention? In his mind, a picture of an excited dog replaced Bdubs for a second, prompting a sudden outburst of laughter from Etho, which, he was pretty sure, could be heard even from Xisuma's base.

Etho took the familiar route through the Nether to Bdubs's base. He circled above it for a second, looking for the town's proud owner – he spotted him right next to his starter house (made of diorite, of course), and landed right behind him, scaring him to death.

"What are ya doin' sneakin' up behind me like that, huh?!" He fumed, stamping his feet all over the place. "What are you, role-playin' a ninja?!"

"Some people do call me a little bit of a ninja." Etho shrugged, prompting a scowl from Bdubs. "Anyway, whatcha got there? A cake?"

Behind him, the cake was sitting on the observer like on a table, unwrapped, with a small piece cut out of it. Bdubs probably checked it for poison; or maybe he couldn't eat the rest because it was too sweet. Either way, same thing, really.

"Aww, dontcha pretend like you don't know what it is!" Bdubs sang proudly like he just solved the world's hardest riddle; Etho couldn't help but smile, giving himself away. "Yeah, I knew it! It's yours! I know how you bake your cakes, you won't fool me!"

"Did I poison you with sweetness?" Etho asked through laughter.

"I'd rather not say what I did with the piece that I put in my mouth." Bdubs nodded behind him, in the direction of the river. Ah, so it was that sweet.

"Awwww, you spat out my cake? That I baked for you, with such love and care?"

"Yes, but I don't want to do it with the rest, so you're here to get rid of it." Bdubs walked up to the cake and shifted it around, sending a short pulse down. The dispenser didn't fire, meaning Bdubs saw the message.

"You mean you aren't going to eat it." Etho sobbed, hugging his arms. "Welp, more left for me!" He smiled.

"Great! Cuz I physically can't eat it!" Bdubs laughed.

He brought Etho a chair, a plate and a spoon, some tea (three spoons of sugar, as usual) and even a tablecloth to turn the observer into a real table (that ticks sometimes). Etho dug in immediately – he'd completely forgotten he hasn't eaten anything since that battle with Keralis. And oh was the cake sweet. Too sweet even for Etho, but he enjoyed it. Bdubs watched him enjoy the dessert, sipping his own tea, with a wide smile on his face.

"Didn't know you enjoyed watching people eat." Etho commented.

"Nope, just you."

"That's weird."

"You're weird, consuming that amount of sugar and not dying." Bdubs chuckled, but kept smiling. He was rather calm – calmer than Etho expected right after a prank.

The warm smile would get imprinted in his mind forever, Etho felt. There was just too much fondness, too much affection in it, that his skin started burning again.

Bdubs took the cherry from the top of the cake, closed one eye and put a cherry in front of the other: "You're as red as this cherry right now." He didn't even let Etho react, before putting the berry into his mouth. Etho tried not to think about the implications of that. "Come on now, what happened? What are you getting flustered for?" He teased.

Etho looked away – tried to, Bdubs followed his gaze – and put on his mask, even though he still had cake left on his plate. That didn't help hiding his rosy cheeks, and now ears too. Etho gave up trying to guess why his body was doing it at that point. He just didn't want Bdubs seeing him like this.

"Ay, you didn't finish your slice!" Bdubs laughed. "Sorry I took your cherry, but it the only edible thing on it."

"It's fine, I'm just gonna take the rest home," Etho said, attempting to appear collected, but regretted it immediately: his voice cracked in the most pathetic way possible.

Bdubs burst out, leaning on the observer for support, sending a few ticks again. The corners of his eyes teared up, but at least his face was now all red too, so Etho wasn't the only one. It was hardly comforting.

"Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't laugh! I shouldn't...!" He wheezed. Etho was ready to just take the cake and fly away in embarrassment, but the cake needed to be put in a box first – doing it now would only make the situation more awkward. Etho believed he could endure it. "Sorry–" Bdubs kept apologizing, "Know what? Next time, c'mere, and let's bake an actually edible cake together. Sound good?"

Etho sat still for a second, eyes wandering in the forest afar. They could bake a cake together, a cake that both of them could enjoy.

"That... Sounds good." Etho uttered from under his breath. It did sound good. Sweet, even.

"Then it's a deal!" Bdubs clapped his hands together. They arranged a time, he helped Etho pack the cake back up, and then it was time to say goodbyes.

Just as Etho was about to take off, Bdubs pulled his sleeve – and then pulled him closer, wrapped his arms around his torso in a sudden embrace. Etho instinctively put his arms on Bdubs's back, resting his head on his messy hair that tickled his nose. Etho could stay like this forever – or if not forever, then for a long time. But Bdubs let him go, and then they needed to go. Etho hastily took out his rockets and boosted off into the sky, to not let Bdubs see his face again.

Bdubs yelled after him:

"You have a good day as well!..."

Etho felt warm.

[rosetta-j-stone]

So...I wanted this to be a one-shot but I think it might end up being a slow burn after all...

Er, I mean, yes, I absolutely intended this to be Chapter 1 of MANY.

ANYWAY

AU BOJERE FANFIC LET'S MM MM GOOOOOO

If you'd told him five years ago that he'd be living in London, he wouldn't have believed it.

London is for rockstars. Models. Hotshot city boys.

Bojan is none of those things.

But he does love people. And excitement.

So maybe it's not so surprising after all.

...OK, so it's a bit less glamorous than he expected. He's working three jobs and sharing a house with four other guys.

Five, if you count that mate of theirs who's always coming over.

Anyway.

He checks his watch. Plenty of time.

He takes one last drag on his cigarette, savouring it, then lets it fall, still smouldering, to the ground, before shoving his hands deep into his pockets and hurrying back inside.

He'll never get used to the British weather.

****

Jere is nervous. This is definitely the right place. Right? He checks his phone again, like he didn't check it a hundred times on the way here. Yep. Definitely the right place. Probably.

It's just...there's no one here.

He can't be the only student on this course, can he?

He hopes not. He still remembers that summer when he had to retake Swedish. He shudders.

But no...wait...those are definitely footsteps echoing down the corridor.

Phew. He won't be doing this all alone after all.

He turns with a smile to see who his classmate is.

****

There's already someone waiting outside the classroom when Bojan gets there. Either they're really keen, or they live so far out that they've learned, as he has, to allow 2 hours to get anywhere in this city. Or both.

He's about to introduce himself when the student thrusts out his arm, grasps his hand firmly and vigorously shakes it, rather faster than Bojan is used to.

"Hellohelloyoualsohereforlanguageclassyesyes? Nooneelsehereyetbut" - he breaks off from shaking Bojan's hand to dig his phone out of his pocket and check it - "Ithinkweinrightplace"

Bojan grins. Yes, he is also here for the language class.

AKA the worst-paid of his three jobs.

****

Jere is gabbling. He knows he is, he can hear he's talking too fast, but honestly he thinks he's doing pretty well getting any actual words out when he's just been confronted with one of the best-looking men he's ever seen.

And Jere considers himself something of an expert.

This guy should consider himself lucky Jere isn't speaking total gibberish actually.

He leans against the wall, which is 100% so he looks cool and casual and definitely not because he suddenly feels weak at the knees.

"So...you new student like me? Or you do this course already some time?"

The other student stifles a laugh for some reason. Jere frowns. Did he accidentally say something weird? Or is...is this guy laughing at his accent? That's pretty rude of him.

...pretty...him.

OK, he needs to focus.

****

This is what he gets for teaching adults, his sister would say, before asking him for the umpteenth time why on earth he doesn't work with kids, he's a natural, she can put in a good word for him with her friend who's a headteacher, he only has to ask-

He doesn't do it because he's a coward, is what he'd tell her.

He'd say it'd be too much to be surrounded by kids all day every day when he still doesn't have any kids of his own.

He really did think he'd have at least one by now.

Anyway, that's what he'd tell her. If he wasn't a coward.

Besides he doesn't really mind being mistaken for a mature student once in a while.

"Actually," he says, taking a key from his pocket and unlocking the classroom door, "I'm the one giving the classes"

****

Of COURSE he is. No wonder he was trying not to laugh.

Although, in Jere's defence, this guy looks way too young to be anyone's teacher, even if he does have a streak of grey in his hair.

Hmm, distinguished.

Focus, Jere.

You're here to learn, remember.

He sighs and follows his new teacher into the classroom, kicking himself every step of the way. Hopefully the rest of the students will arrive before he can make a bigger fool of himself...

[cherrythepuppet]

Look At This!

I originally wrote this a couple months back but accidently deleted it, The orgingal was so much better and I had to re-write this was memory

Grover: @trashcanplant

Mob AU:@/clownsuu

TW: Penny gets bonked in head a few times

Penny gnawed at the ropes that held her arms together before suddenly she was hit in the back of the head "Cut that out!" One of the gang members demanded

"Your not my mom!" Penny exclaimed as she continued to chew on the ropes however she stopped after getting hit in the head again

"Whyd we take that one?" "Because She's the weakest" "I doubt that... she nearly tore off Ron's arm" "That's what happened to his arm?!"

Penny smirked when she heard that but it disappeared once She saw another gang member dragging somebody with a sack on their head into the warehouse

The gang member threw the person next to Penny and took the sack off "Hi Grover!" Penny exclaimed "Oh fuckin' great..." Grover grumbled

"So how'd you get kidnapped? For me, I was distracted watching these two rats fight over this moldy peice of pizza which looked decently good but-" "Penny. I do not care"

"The dame's talking again!" The guy that hit Penny hit her in the head again but this time with the back of his gun

"Ow..." Penny frowned while the guy left the two "How are we gettn' outta this?" Grover asked himself but then the ropes around him were untied

He looked over and saw Penny staring at him untied "You-" "I ate the ropes." "Oh, Well at least your teeth finally came in handy"

"So plan?" Penny asked as Grover put a hand to his chin trying to think, Penny watched then mimicked him "Weapons, where are our wepaons?" Grover replied

Penny pointed at a box over in the back of the warehouse

"Great. so we just-" "Tear their skin off?" Grover sighed "I can get the weapons but I'll need a distraction" Grover said "Finally my time has come" Penny grinned before she climbed onto a stakc of boxes

She cleared her throat to get everyone's attention and started singing "When I was a young Girl, I never thought it'd come to this!" She announced

Grover paused then slowly backed away from the crowd "The scars all seemed to heal And, soon, all I feel is regret" Penny began

"And now, I'm a grown gal! I've lost it all again But what I'll miss the most, Pay close attention while you get a look at... this!" She pulled a rubber duck out of her pockets

"Yeah, look at this! Then, look at that! Hehey, here's a hat!" She opened up a box and pulled out a random hat then threw it at someone

"This nonsense mostly doesn't mean a thing But listen closely, maybe it explains everything!" Grover quietly took out a few Gang members in the back

He got to the weapons and grabbed his Sickle as Penny continued singing "The secret to Bitcoin, computers, and microchips! The key to the future If you only look at this!"

She jumped off the boxes wobbling a bit when she landed then put a chocolate coin into someone's hands "Riches untold, you'll have dollars of gold If you focus on me, as the story unfolds"

And just as she was running out of ideas, She started singing in a Rock way instead of Opera "LOOK AT THIS! I HOLD THE KEY TO THE MYSTERY!"

"LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT NOTHING EXCEPT FOR ME!" She grabbed a gang members chin forcing them to look at her when they saw Grover in the corner

"LOOK AT THIS!" Penny chuckled and started making unintelligible growling "THAT WAS GIBBERISH! GROVER, HURRY THE FUCK UP!" Penny shouted

"I don't know how long I can do this!" She sighed "Ima need another sixty seconds!" Grover told her "Aw, fuck!" Penny groaned

She paused forgetting What to say "Okay, the thing I'm trying to say- I will say if you look this way..." She blinked then coughed

"Uh, y-you know, it's, uh, just as Toni used to say..." She trailed off "Puzza lasagna! Contorni, limoncello" She exclaimed

"Fortepiano! Buongiorno, ada Vongole" Antoni would be so pissed over this "Luigi, Firenze, Bucatini! Cingale~ Cingale~"

Penny took in a deep breath and kept going "So, look at... this! Please look at this! I am running out of places I can take this bit!" She cried

"So, look at this! Look at my face! I regret every event that got me in this place!" Finally Grover was noticed and when a gang member drew their Gun out Penny jumped onto their back

"This little song is driving me insane! My exhaustion is audible!" The gang member grabbed her hands and threw her off them and into a wall

"Now, the ending is probable! CUZ' THIS RUSE IS IMPOSSIBLE to maintain-" She was cut off by getting kicked in the head

"Shut the fuck up, Broad!" They demanded moments before Their head fell to the ground "Penn?" Grover asked

Penny laid on the ground coughing and groaning "My head hurts..." She mumbled "Alright- Just... C'mon get up" Grover said

He helped Penny up and she wobbled around "Did we win?" She asked "Uh- Yeah" Grover replied "Yaaaay!!" Penny giggled

"Let's get you to Poppy" Grover sighed "I like her" Penny grinned "I know, Penn. I know" Grover mumbled....

[coolgreatwebsite]

Happy 1 Million Views to the Video That Broke Me

This is a repost of something I wrote over on my Cohost, but I figured a year later it should also probably live on the domain I pay money to have. Better late than never!

This is the most successful piece of content I have ever created. At one million views it is the thing I've made that people have seen the most. It is the thing that the most people have seen my name attached to. And it's total trash.

It's 2017 and we're a week or so out from the release of Sonic Mania, a game that I'm, at that point, pretty damn excited for. A kindly poster from the Something Awful forums (that I have known from many forums previous) poses a challenge: be the first to beat his short kaizo Sonic the Hedgehog 2 ROM hack and he'll gift you a copy of Sonic Mania on Steam when it comes out.

I was already getting the game on PS4 but I figured whatever, everyone else seems to be having trouble with it, I'm bored, I got nothing better to do, I'll give it a shot. I load up KEGA Fusion, start a low bitrate and resolution OBS recording because it'll probably take a few hours and who cares it's a forum contest verification video, and get to work. A hour and half-ish goes by and I'm finished with the hack. I upload the video to YouTube, post it in the thread, win my free copy of Sonic Mania, and that's the end of the story. Thanks for reading.

Except of course it's not the end of the story. A few months after I got done thoroughly enjoying Sonic Mania, I realized that I'd been getting a weird amount of new subscriber emails from YouTube. I decided to actually look at my metrics and noticed a uh, highly localized spike of activity. Give you one guess on which video (hint: it's the one this post is about). "The Algorithm" had suddenly taken it and was running away with it at lightning speed.

In the timespan between posting the video and this spike, YouTube had announced they were drastically raising the bar on the metrics you needed to hit to have your channel monetized. I was by no means a large YouTuber at the time, but I was meeting the old requirements for monetization just fine. I wasn't anywhere near meeting the new requirements until now and this video was blowing the hell up for whatever reason, so I decided to do what any good opportunist would do and made it an unwatchable experience.

I set the ad frequency on that thing to the maximum that it'd let me. I forget exactly how frequent that was but it was something absurd like an ad every 5 minutes. Maybe even more than that. I figured I'd either get rich or maybe it would make people stop watching and leaving the worst comments in the world. Seriously the comments on this thing are their own nightmare, a bizarre soup of people ascribing meaning to nothing, trying to suss out emotions where there are none, saying complete gibberish, I'd need an entire second post to unpack whatever the hell is going on there.

Well, I wouldn't quite say I got rich. The money you get off what most people would conventionally call a popular YouTube video is just not much in the grand scheme of things. But holy shit they didn't stop watching. If anything they were watching more. Why didn't they stop watching? This video was less than nothing. It was an ordeal to watch all the way through. Why were they doing this? Why was the algorithm showing this to everyone? Why this and not one of the things I put effort into or something that was at least meant to be entertaining at all? I didn't have the answers and I still don't.

Before this I personally wasn't lamenting the possibility of losing monetization on my channel as up until this point I had made around $40 total on YouTube in the decade or so I'd had a channel. But I had been spending a lot that time watching friends with channels around the size of mine who were actively hustling to, and unfortunately failing to, meet the new hurdle. They were putting out some really good shit. Way better than my stuff, frankly. And here I was getting launched to the finish line by... a throwaway, blurry, hour and a half long, commentary-free, save state abusing playthrough of a crummy Sonic ROM hack? That I had made as a means to a completely separate end?? That got promoted by a computer program for seemingly no reason???

It felt shitty. One of the friends I mentioned in that last paragraph was my longtime friend Fotts who was in the middle of getting their (sadly now dormant) series TAS Force off the ground. They were constantly tweeting about the ordeal of trying to meet the new monetization requirements and it was a damn shame because they were putting in a ton of effort and it was great. The kind of thing I'd watch even if I wasn't friends with anyone on it. It was a million times funnier than anything I was doing, and the complete opposite of my shitty contest video. If there was any justice in this world the views I was getting on this dumpster fire would be going to them. But as it turns out, there is no justice online.

I recalled a conversation I had with them a few years back while they, I, and a group of about 7 or so other friends were all wandering around an Orlando Wal-Mart wearing identical black t-shirts that read "MARVEL CAN SUCK MY COCK" in big block letters (long story). They had actually kind of gone through this sort of thing before. See, they're the uploader and one of the voices of this video you may or may not have seen with 6.5+ million views on it.

They lamented to me many of the laments I was currently lamenting. "This was just a stupid throwaway thing", "why is this so much more popular than the stuff I put effort into", "it's just me making PaRappa the Rapper say the word 'Chinese' over and over". Ok maybe that last one was a bit more specific to them. Anyway, I responded with (and I admit a lot of the reason I felt this way was because I thought and still think the video is funny) something along the lines of "you can't pick what hits for people, it might have been throwaway but at the end of the day you posted it because you thought it was at least a little bit funny, try and focus on the fact that you have a popular video at all rather than the fact it's not one of the videos you're particularly proud of".

But yeah damn turns out that advice is easier said than done when it happens to you, and it's even harder done when it happens to a factually not entertaining video. One you could have uploaded as unlisted and achieved your intended result with. The runaway success of this thing genuinely broke me on this whole "Internet" deal.

I should stress I mean this in a good way. I realized that it's not so much that you can't pick what hits for people, it's that you physically cannot pick what gets put in front of people. The people cannot pick what hits for them. A computer does. You can try and promote and affect what gets seen in your own small sphere of influence, but ultimately we are, on YouTube and on all of our social platforms, at the mercy of a black box of computer programs that I'm not even sure the people who created them understand anymore. I'd obviously known this on some level prior to this video existing, but bearing witness to it all happening firsthand to this video in particular was another thing entirely. Anything prior that I had achieved marginally similar success with (there were a couple that had broken 100k) was meant to be entertaining. It was meant for people to watch and go "I liked that", not for one guy on a forum to see and go "good work solving my maze Superman". I could classify the success as "neat, people liked that one" in my brain. This defied classification.

The only logical conclusion was that it truly didn't matter what I uploaded. It's all decided by a random machine picking things at random to serve random amounts of people, and the people click on it and watch it simply because it is there. You can poke at the machine, prod at the machine, try to guess what the machine likes, try to iterate on something the machine has previously demonstrated that it likes. It's all an effort to get the machine to put it in front of the people who will click it because it is there. That's what all the bigger capital-C Content Creators do. From the high level stuff of "what kind of things do I upload" to the low level minutia of "how many curse words can I say in the first minute", making it Big On Line in any capacity is about trying to appease an unknowable mechanical entity and nothing else. It's either that or you're "old money" in a sense, established before this all became the case.

And again, the bigger names do this. Entire companies do this. If I were "smart" I would have pivoted my entire YouTube channel to nothing but hour and a half long commentary-free bullshit hard ROM hack playthroughs. Maybe another one would hit like this did. But for the life of me I could not and cannot think of anything more soul crushing.

I wouldn't say I had aspirations to be a Big Time YouTube Man, but at that time I would have maybe liked to be a Moderate Size YouTube Man. Or a moderate size Twitch man. Someone who had people watching but was still able to have fun with it and do his own thing. This newfound realization that it was truly a random lottery, even beyond the random lottery that most of human life is, that becoming any size bigger than Small Time was literally decided by an actual factual random number generator, freed me from the desire to do anything that I didn't want to do. If actively chasing success on these modern, algorithmically-driven platforms, actively going after "Kaizo Sonic 2 Full Run" numbers, meant putting aside the things I like and reinventing myself and the things I do down to the minute details in order to appease a literal ghost beyond anyone's understanding or control that changes what it's looking for on a whim, then I did not want to do that. I did not want to keep a timer for when I could talk normal, I did not want to announce my streams on Twitter with the link in a separate reply one day, in an embedded image the next, and in my display name the next. If there is absolutely one thing I do not want to do in my life, it's dance for a robot.

But the most freeing thing about realizing this is that it also meant if I just kept doing stuff I liked, maybe, someday, I could get lucky enough to where the unknowable internet robot would push that in front of a million or so people. In the grand scheme of things it's about an equal chance of that happening on something I like and am proud of versus something I made in a desperate cloying attempt to placate an algorithm.

Anyway damn this got long and rambly sorry about that lol. This was initially meant to just be a little toast to the 5 year-ish anniversary of me fully becoming an Internet nihilist. Remember folks, it's meaningless to chase success in an algorithm dominated landscape. In the words of a certain extremely Normal-type man, "real life isn't all just being true to yourself", but I reject the notion that the Internet is not or should not be, in spite of the legion of ghouls and freaks at the top of the chain actively trying to make that the case every day.

Be true to yourself. Do what you love, make what you love, post what you love, and maybe if you're lucky a computer somewhere will decide it's your turn, because that's the single deciding factor in all of this. In the mean time, you'll end up slowly and naturally surrounding yourself with cool people who get you, if only a little bit. At least that's what's happened for me so far. I've been pretty alright with it.

[sunny6677]

Okay soooo just testing something here since I'm trying to make Hermes more playful with Sunny jsnsns

1. During his first direct encounter with her in the Circe Saga, he immediately laughs the second he sees her—and practically throws her into his arms, spinning her around while hugging her until she's dizzy. And then afterward, he decides to asks if she's okay—his tone being briefly softer for a moment, before she answers that she is. And he responds by just smiling and pulling her into a tighter hug, starting to mumble/coo about her (like 'Aughhhh..! Look at youuuu!')—sounding like a parent seeing their newborn baby for the first time. But he briefly stops when she asks how he's here, and only giggles and boops her on the nose while then proceeding to explain that he knows how to get her home, and tries playfully inviting her into coming with him.

2. Instead, he appears from behind her and surprises her into falling off the rock. Hermes laughs in amusement, scooping her up into a hug after joking about her tumble and then kinda spinning around with her in his arms. He just makes her more dizzy in the process, and giggles at her sounds of gibberish, before pulling her into a bear hug. She tries asking how he's here, to which he responds by pulling her in even tighter or pinching her cheeks while explaining that it doesn't matter. The problem here is that he doesn't notice she's visibly not doing alright, so this is part of one of his flaws—that being the treating her like a silly pet thing. He then explains afterward though that he knows how to get her home, and tries inviting her into going with him.

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: Hues of Trouble

(Hues of Metal is by kkirby999. If he ever wishes to make a dub of this in his style, he's more than welcome to do so!)

Dimension HOM-2023 - Eggman's Mountain Base

OMT!Tails slipped into the base, activating his nanomachine suit to avoid triggering the alarms.

OMT!Tails: Alright, I'm in. From what Skye told me, Melody should be in here somewhere. I just gotta be careful not to run into any of the robots here. They're no S.S.S.S.S. Squad, so they won't be fooled by disguises.

He headed forward, hearing a conversation nearby.

Metallix: ...and what's even funnier is that after Sonic chases down the Eggrobo AND the Prototype, Mk. II has a chance to go kill Sonic! But instead, he goes out of his way to assassinate the person he hired to assassinate Sonic!!!

Mecha Mk. I / Silver Sonic / Carl: Why the fuck would he do that when he had Sonic in his sights?

Metallix (amused): I don't know. But it's absolutely HYSTERICAL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OMT!Tails slipped past them. Soon enough, he hid as he noticed Metal Sonic and Prototype holding Melody hostage.

Metal Sonic: Okay, ma'am. Your attitude will not be getting you outta this one so easily. So I'm going to ask ONE last time; where did you come from, and for what reason?

Prototype: Yeah! Better start answering if you don't wanna get blown up.

Melody: Information of my universe is to be kept between me and my family, thank you very much!

Metal Sonic: Great. Of COURSE she won't tell us anything.

Melody: I mean, what else would you expect me to do? Talk on and on about other worlds? It'd overload your circuits just thinking about it, tin-buckets.

Metal Sonic: Tin-?! (angry gibberish) Okay, I've had it with you! Prototype, get her escorted to another area of the base!

Prototype: Right away! Come along, missy.

Melody: Name's Melody!

Prototype: Okay, whatever. Come on!

Prototype left with Melody in tow as OMT!Tails stepped out of hiding, Metal hearing the footsteps behind him.

Metal Sonic: Wait. Who's-?

He saw OMT!Tails in his nanomachine suit.

Metal Sonic: Hold on... I don't remember Eggman commissioning another Tails robot. Only one we have is Tails Doll.

OMT!Tails: Oh, me? I was recently manufactured! I'm... Steel Tails Version 0.9!

Metal Sonic: Aww, brilliant! A pleasure to meet you, new guy!

They shook hands.

OMT!Tails: (Heh. It actually fooled him?)

Metal Sonic: Right. So, duties, duties...

OMT!Tails: We'll think about that later. Right now, a different Sonic is coming here after having chased me.

Metal Sonic: A "different" one? How different is he? Does he carry dancing bananas in a backpack? Is he not quite AS fast as Sonic?

OMT!Tails: Well, red pupils, different shoes, 10 times more aggressive, wants to define people's fates...

Metal Sonic: Urgh... I hate that guy even more than Sonic, and we haven't even met yet. Well, sounds like we need to prepare. Come along, Steel!

OMT!Tails: Alright!

As they prepared to walk off, OMT!Tails suddenly shook in sudden pain.

OMT!Tails: Argh!

Metal Sonic: S-Steel?

OMT!Tails got up as Metal noticed something under his eyes that shocked him.

Metal Sonic: Uh, Steel... Your eyes? They're, uh...

OMT!Tails: Huh? What's going on?

Metal Sonic: There's... red oil coming out of them?

OMT!Tails, confused, wiped under one of his eyes and looked in horror, looking away in upset.

OMT!Tails: (T-The virus... It got me...)

Metal Sonic: Steel, are you alright?

OMT!Tails: M-My body's infected with a virus...

Metal Sonic: Like a computer one? Right. I'll take you in for repairs immediately!

OMT!Tails: No no no no! I'll get it "patched" when I return to the base I came from.

Metal Sonic: Steel, I'm tryin' to look out for you here. We've only just met, and you need sorting out. What if it gets worse when the dark-and-edgy Sonic gets here?

OMT!Tails: L-Let's not think about that, Metal. It's why I won't stay for long.

Metal Sonic: Right. Okay, come on. I swear, I'm gonna have to chastise Prototype for his oil arrangement later... "Sort it by taste", my screws...

They walked across the base grounds.

OMT!Tails: So, in return for me helping you fend off the intruder, I've just got one thing to ask.

Metal Sonic: Yes?

OMT!Tails: I need to take the, er, prisoner you were with before with me.

Metal Sonic: Well, a deal's a deal. Plus she needs to be more careful with her mouth.

OMT!Tails: Right.

OMT!Tails wiped under his eyes to keep the blood from getting worse.

Metal Sonic: So what do you need that girl- er, "Melody", for anyways?

OMT!Tails: Well, mainly to get her back to her dimension before things get out of hand.

Metal Sonic: Right. So I presume that you were manufactured at one of those-?

Suddenly, the area shook as alarms blared.

OMT!Tails: Uh oh! He's here!

Metal Sonic: Darn it! We need to hurry!

Metal took Tails's hand as they sped ahead, finding where Metallix was.

Metal Sonic: Metallix!

Metallix: Huh? What's the rush now, Metal?

Metal Sonic: A really aggressive Sonic just broke in and is tearing things asunder!

Metallix: That explains all the ruckus. (through a nearby loudspeaker) The lot of you, get over to this area! There's an intruder fast approaching!

On cue, Rocket Metal, Prototype, Mk. II and Silver Sonic showed up with Mecha-Knuckles.

Mecha Sonic Mk. II: Bet you a can of oil that it's Sonic.

OMT!Tails: Oh, it's Sonic, alright. Just not (y)our Sonic.

Silver Sonic: What do you mean not our Sonic?

Silver Sonic's question was answered as LM!Sonic approached, prompting the robots to get into combat positions.

LM!Sonic: You seven shouldn't be a part of this. Hand the kid over, and nobody gets hurt!

Rocket Metal: Like, nice try, ya scoundrel! I know yas for what you really are! You're one of those stereotypical Australian tourists! You come to mock us for doing stuff the way WE wanna do it?! Dis-cos-tan!!!

LM!Sonic: Hmph. One to talk for someone who HAS a constant Australian accent.

Metallix: You're that "dark-and-edgy" Sonic? Pah! Destroying you won't take long. Now, let's dance, hedgehog!

Metallix led the charge, knocking LM!Sonic backwards.

Mecha-Knuckles (using a Heavy Weapons Guy voice chip): Kill them all? Good idea! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mecha-Knuckles charged with the others as Prototype readied his rocket launcher...

"ROCKET LAUNCHER!"

...and charged into the fray with the others.

Metal Sonic: If you wanna get that prisoner, Steel, now's your chance. Once you're done that, get back outta here! If we get the chance, we'll do better introductions another time!

Metal dashed off as OMT!Tails fled to the other direction to find Melody. The fight continued with the Hues of Metal working together to fend off LM!Sonic, who put up one heck of a fight against all seven of them.

Mecha Sonic Mk. II: Hold still so we can destroy you already, creep!

Mecha-Knuckles: Here I come!

Mecha-Knuckles tackled LM!Sonic into a laser barrier area, accidentally getting himself stuck with LM!Sonic in that same area as Metal and Prototype caught up.

LM!Sonic: Lights out, "knuckle-head"!

LM!Sonic, energised by a fraction of each Chaos Emerald, threw a water bolt at Mecha-Knuckles, who promptly began malfunctioning.

Mecha-Knuckles: Oh, this is b-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!

And then he exploded as LM!Sonic turned his attention to the barriers locking him inside.

Metal Sonic: So you think you can define how we go about our lives?! Sicko. Prototype, hit that lever!

Prototype did so, setting off the pistons to attack LM!Sonic with.

Prototype: That should hold him for a bit, but not for long.

Metal Sonic: Then we'd better up our game!

Metal's eyes flickered as he prepared to get serious. Over with OMT!Tails, he raced full-speed toward a pair of Motobugs hauling Melody away, smashing them both and freeing the critters inside.

OMT!Tails: Gotcha!

Melody: Huh?! Are you another of those robots?!

OMT!Tails lowered his disguise to reveal his true identity.

OMT!Tails: No. I'm Tails!

Melody: Another version of my dad?

OMT!Tails: Yeah. And I'm getting you back out of here to find your brother.

Melody: Thanks. That means a lot.

However, Metallix was coming back to find OMT!Tails, realising that he got duped before.

Metallix: Hey! Nobody said you could make off with that prisoner, fox!

OMT!Tails: Uh, Metal did earlier.

Metallix: What?! You mean-?! GRR! I'm literally surrounded by idiots here! I'll deal with you myself while they're dealing with that Sonic!

Metallix charged at them as they bolted it through the base. One of the rooms they had to escape through was a storage compartment of boxes, and when they knocked some over on the way out, out spilled a few Dancing Bananas onto the floor as Metallix slowed down.

Metallix: What do you think you're doing?! That took me four weeks to fully sort out! Don't either of you know the dangers of a Danc... ing...?!

Metallix realised too late he was in range of the knocked over bunch that were about to explode.

Dancing Bananas (all at once): I LIKE CEREAL!

Metallix: GAH-!

BOOM!

Outside, the explosion rocked the area Tails and Melody were escaping to.

Melody: We tripped BOMBS in there?

OMT!Tails: I didn't see what was in those crates.

Metallix boosted at full speed, knocking OMT!Tails into a wall and causing the bleeding eyes to show again.

OMT!Tails: Oh, no...

Metallix: You may have duped the other robots, but I'm smarter than the rest of them!

He got ready to do one last attack to kill OMT!Tails.

Metallix: Any last words, Miles Prower?!

OMT!Tails: Well, um... Super Mario Bros. Z still isn't canon?

Metallix reacted in shock to that, trying to charge at OMT!Tails...

Metallix: Shi-!

...before disappearing into thin air.

OMT!Tails: Phew!

Melody: How did you do that?

OMT!Tails: Guess it's something that upsets him. Let's make tracks before he reappears again!

OMT!Tails activated a warp ring to get them out.

Melody: Oh! Before we go...

OMT!Tails: Huh?

Melody wiped under his eyes for him.

OMT!Tails: I was about to do that, but... thanks!

Melody: Anytime!

They made their leave. Back where the battle was, Metal was managing to wipe the floor with LM!Sonic on his own.

LM!Sonic: GAH! How?!

Metal Sonic: They don't call me Metal Sonic for no reason! Now, you wanna clear it back where you came from, or do we have to incinerate you or capture you to siphon your power?

LM!Sonic twitched on the spot, a slasher smile sporting to show that his sanity was dwindling fast.

LM!Sonic: Heheheheheheh... Alright, scrap can! You wanna kill me? Well, too bad, freak!

He unleashed a massive shockwave that knocked the 5 robots backwards.

LM!Sonic: No being will be able to stop me once my foothold on the multiverse is secured, not even any of those miserable "ultimate lifeforms". All WILL follow their destinies, or risk their universe falling apart. I'll play with you metal menaces some other time.

LM!Sonic left through a portal, Metal realising LM!Sonic's true plan and rushing to relay it to OMT!Tails. In the landscape between worlds, OMT!Tails got the call.

Metal Sonic: Steel! It's Metal Sonic! That evil Sonic knows what you're trying to do! And he's slipped out of our world!

OMT!Tails: Oh, man... Did he say anything about what he's planning?

Metal Sonic: He said about wanting EVERYONE to follow their "destinies", lest their universes get destroyed...

OMT!Tails: Of course he'd crank that mindset up to eleven... I'll see what I can do about him! In the meantime, Metallix got a bit delusional, so don't believe anything he says about me being some real Tails.

Metal Sonic: Uh, okay? Well, all's fair between us, I suppose, and since you were pretty friendly, it's a deal!

OMT!Tails: Sweet! I also left you something in a secret spot for if you feel like using it. Just... don't let it slip to anyone else that I gave it to you.

Metal Sonic: A secret spot? Well, I guess I'll look into it... See you around, kid.

The transmission cut off.

Melody: You left something there?

OMT!Tails: A dimension-travelling watch that can link him straight to the Quill Society. He will need cooling off since there's so many Sonics there, though.

Melody: A Quill Society?

OMT!Tails: A huge club full of heroes from different universes, akin to ours!

Melody: Sweet!

OMT!Tails: Well, I'm gonna get you back to your brother and another me, whilst I lose the evil Sonic in one more dimension. I'll rendezvous back with you once I've done that!

OMT!Tails prepared to warp Melody straight there.

Melody: Alright. Good luck, alternate dad!

She was warped away as OMT!Tails continued onwards, unknowingly also being followed by Blitz!Tails who noticed where he was going.

[amyisherenowitsokay]

Sent the last one before I listened to anything lmao, so while I'm going thru at the same time - Curious if there's a reference/POV for the title of Sing To Me itself, or it's just the lyrics that matter. like, who's asking for/singing? What's ON MY MIND for re:2 in reference to, I assume from the POV of Zims thoughts? Nothing to say about re:3 except "oh. i'm excited. i can feel the plot and vibes already." esp with Obey lol. and going over the anime ones, is there a particular genre/feel/tone you see for each pick? what are they? right off the top of your head, how do you think the openings would 'look'? odd thought, cos i forgot the first Q was for broad encompassing and was like, "the tonal dissonance wtf" BUT. would you say there's any relation between both sets of answers, if you imagined Q1's placed between the Q2's openings/endings? or rather would you pick different answers in that situation? (and ofc, what would they be? why?) ..and yeah the tone of slotting re:3's Q1 in with re:3's Q2 slides together so well.. (well, the opening & encompassing answers. ending's just vibey. curious if the ending song would still stay, since the tone throws it? something i'm missing? lyrics i figure.) ..gotta ask for some hints/spoiler crumbs for what's coming for re:3. can't just ignore the dramatic music bomb.

Sing to Me is one of my favorite songs, both for lyrics, tone, and narrative (also, it was made for the Death Stranding sound track, a favorite game of mine, and gets more love for that reason as well.)

To me, the song is attributed to both Zim and Gaz. It reads to me as very desperate, seeking help, but also seeking distraction. It's about not really recognizing oneself anymore, for the worse, and panicking. It's also reads as incredibly lonely. I think at the beginning of Re:MHNY1, both Zim and Gaz are pretty miserable in their personal lives. No friends, no social lives. Gaz is simmering in her own familial estrangement and Zim is rolling in his own self-loathing about his Defectiveness and banishment. I think it's a really good song that evokes a lot of feelings of anger and pleading and hopeless optimism, which I think really lends to some of the darker themes in Re:MHNY1.

OWN MY MIND, in it's most basic sense, could totally be about Zim. He was not the primary individual I had in mind for this song, and I will leave it at that.

Infected I picture being very Cyberpunk 2077 . A lot of slow motion shots with flickers to the beat in the background. Hints of things to come.

Young and a Menace and Obey I'm picturing a lot of Shakugan no Shana III energy. A lot more sharp, punchy, foreboding and foreshadowing. There's a LOT of anger. conflict, and tension in the sequels, and it'd be super cool to see that reflected. Especially with the same wind-down energy of a more peppy rock-song, the same way the first "series" ending did.

Regarding synergy/vibes in my song choices, I chose them mostly on vibes. I like anime openers that really have a lot of darkness and action that look really cool, with closers that have really upbeat 90's anime energy. Think Black Butler's (CW), Attack on Titan (CW) and Tokyo Ghoul's (another CW) style of openers/closers - gritty intros, visually impactful, . Then Black Butler's S1 closure is jamming out to BECCA with chibis doing everyday things. Evangelion's crazy ass is just peaceful "Fly Me to The Moon." I love a closure with some dissonance. Really makes the anime feel more dimensional to me.

I would not change any songs as the "series" went on, because I feel like the more you understand the fics, the more the songs feel MORE appropriate, not less, and that'd be a cool thing to do. Like Gravity Falls's constant hints since the beginning of the series that look like fun gibberish, but actually were just laying out the whole plot of the series the whole time.

In terms of the relationship between my choices, I'd say the openers/closers are what they are, while my encompassing/main songs would be on the soundtrack. Kind of in the same way New Divide by Linkin Park became both meme and THE song for The Transformers movies (rip Chester). Like, Perfect Day was Legally Blonde's opener, but Watch Me Shine was the main song that really emphasized a climax/turning point in the movie. The same role I Wanna Be Bad played in What A Girl Wants. I probably just dated the fuck out of myself, but that's the vibe I was mentally picturing.

[themusiichouse]

@automaton-otto

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"WOLFIE!"

Felix screams and bolts as the giant nine-tailed wolf, as tall as a one-story house, careens toward him, tongue lolling out impetuously, barking like a dog at the sight of a newfound friend. Sure, he knows the guy's his friend, but said guy has yet to figure out that the sight of a giant wolf as big as a T-rex charging toward someone is utterly terrifying, even when one is trying to have fun. Behind the giant wolf is Wilhelm, the tiny blond who stood no longer than 5'2" straining to keep up with the sprinting Wolfie on his comparatively tiny legs as he calls for him to come to a halt.

"Wolfie, how many times do you need to be told?" Wil cries as the chase through the forest clearing drags on. "Stop running at Felix!"

"It won't scare him anymore if I keep doing it!" Wolfie yelps, picking up the pace.

"At least I get my dogs not to run at him. How is it that you can't have that restraint when they can do it and they're not even sapient?"

Ahead of them, Felix stops running and pants for breath. Wolfie screeches to a halt as well and gives him a giant lick with a tongue as long as his arm, causing the poor man's black hair to drip with saliva.

"You know I hate that too, Wolf," Felix grumbles, wiping sticky droplets of dog drool off his forehead with the back of his hand.

"It's how a dire kitsune shows love," Wolfie says in a superior tone. "What's wrong with showing my love?"

"You can also show love to me by listening when I say what makes me uncomfortable," says Felix with a sigh.

"Might as well ask me to shrink to the size of a chihuahua every time I'm around you," Wolfie says.

"That…would actually be great, thank you."

The great wolf-fox gives a toss of his head.

"I mean I could. But then how would you ever get over your fear of big dogs? Maybe it would help if I was bigger. Not smaller. Like this!"

And then he does it. Instantaneously he shapeshifts, shooting up, and up, and up, until he's at least thirty feet taller.

Felix stares and gapes. Though he never swore, his face just screams "what the fuck."

"That's not fucking funny! And they say I'm the annoying one!" Wil shouts.

"You're right. It'd be funnier if I were bigger!"

And then Wolfie grows, and grows, and grows, until he's standing at least ten times his usual height--big enough to crush his companions with a step. Every cell in Felix's body wants to bolt at the sight. But he stares, transfixed in his terror, the sun having dimmed for him in the great wolf's shadow.

"Oh God," he mumbles as his legs give out from under him.

Wolfie cranes his neck down toward the miniature Felix, the breath from his nostrils enough to ruffle the man's hair like a breeze.

"What's wrong, hoomin?" he says. "You don't enjoy the view?"

Felix could do nothing more than just mumble out a few words of unintelligible gibberish.

"Shrink yourself down right now!" Wilhelm shouts. "Don't make me pull out the PREDATIONS / RELATIONS score on you!"

"So you can what? Drama queen your way into making me submit?" Wolfie sweeps Wilhelm to the ground with a brush from one of his tails.

"Don't make me send valkyries up there, either!" Wilhelm shouted, yet another challenge. "I swear--"

The loud whirr of a mechanical motor causes them all to look up. A machine that loud? In their forest where nobody lived? What in the world--

And then, whatever fear Felix had of Wolfie is replaced by his fear of the robot whose figure cut so magnificently, so grandly, so terribly above the skyline. It looks like the invention of a bygone era--but an era in a different world that had surpassed their own, with the huge jets coming out of its back and the enormous clunking feet. It's as tall as Wolfie was in his current size--and as its body turns around to reveal a head crowned like a Pharaoh's, the three seem to have attracted its attention.

"Ohhhhhh, what is that thing?" Wolfie says wondrously, his tails perking up as he leans in closer.

"It doesn't seem too friendly," Felix observes.

"Yeah, I'm getting major 'I could kill you and I probably want to' vibes from this one," Wil says.

"Just because it looks big and scary? You can't judge a book by its cover," Wolfie says. "I think I'm going to go say hi!"

Felix reaches out an arm in protest. "Wait--"

But it's no use. The wolf-fox goes bounding off, knocking over trees and trampling undergrowth as though he wants to expand the clearing in his wake, streaking toward the killer automaton with the exuberance and lack of restraint of an untrained 1-year-old lab as both Felix and Wilhelm pelt after him. Already they feel as though they're falling further and further behind, left in the flattened grass and shattered forest that Wollfie leaves behind like a tsunami's sweeping tide. But they don't have to run very far to recognize a threat. So eagerly does he charge down this that he hardly even notices one of the automaton's arms raising and pulling back, ready to launch an attack.

"SHIT!" Wilhelm screams.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Alterations

Rabbit has her first on site accident. She literally comes out of it a changed woman. Whether this is a good thing remains to be seen.

Triggers: life or death struggle, blood, implied death, overprotective Clef, loud profanity, trapped Rabbit

I wake up to blaring alarms, gunfire, screaming, and general chaos. I dress, grab my combat gear and head out, expecting the Insurgency again. What I find are typical goons, black-clad and with worse aim than the average Imperial Stormtrooper. Hell, these boys are so dumb I literally walked up behind one and knock him out with a sucker punch to the nose. There's a crunch, and boom goes the goon. Huh. No insignia on his kit. Not Insurgency then. Still... bad idea breaking in here, guys. If we don't get you... there's always the residents. Speaking of... looks like someone met 073, and it went better for Cain than him. Cain is standing over the dead guy, a bullet hole in his shirt, but the wound is on the dead thug, right through the heart.

"Who are these people?" Cain looks at me, confused.

"Not Insurgency goons, I think. See any more?"

"Twelve, headed toward the Mechanical Anomalies wing. I do not think that would be such a good thing for us. We should stop them."

"Sorry, Cain. We're supposed to protect you. I have a better idea. Find Dr. Clef. Tell him to bring the whole squad. These boys are going to regret breaking into our home, I swear on 035's overdramatic attitude."

"Right. Be careful, Little Sister. As angry as... the other guy is with me now, he would be much more angry if you were hurt."

"I'll be careful. You be careful too. Attacks might not hurt you, but the jury is still out on environmental damage."

We separate, and I run into a handful of thugs outside 914. Three go down to gunshots, two more meet my feet. And... then there were five. One manages to open the door. We all rush in, amid a flurry of punches and kicks. I get socked in the left eye, but the guy who hit me is out. As are two of his buddies. The other three team up, and I'm shoved into a metal box. Crap. It's the intake side. I hear one of the thugs outside.

"Wonder if we turn this thing on 'very fine' if it'd hurt that bitch."

"Dunno. Let's find out." A dial turns, the machine activates... everything goes dark. It. Fucking. Hurts. Like being torn into a million pieces. Oh 343, if I survive... forgive me for what I want to do to them. Somehow... I hear a familiar shout. It's Clef. There may not be enough ass left to kick when I get out. Dr. Gears is with him. And he's got a grenade launcher. How do I even know that?

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO? Where is Agent Rabbit?" Gears is shouting at them.

"Gears, she's in the Clockworks." Clef shoots one of the goons. "That was for my favorite intern." Another shot. "That was for the three teams your crew slaughtered." He reloads. There's only one now... and he wished he wore the brown trousers. I would, if I had to deal with both Gears and Clef pissed off. The machine dings. And... I survived. I have no idea what happened to me, but... I'm alive. The door opens, I step out, and Clef rushes to see if I'm okay. He stops two meters before me. The thug is cowering, muttering gibberish. I can make out a few phrases.

"Dios mio, I am sorry. What have we done?"

"You fucked up a perfectly good intern, is what you did." Huh. Is... is that what I sound like now? Like I have a megaphone in my throat? Yikes. I may never speak again. "Now... fuck off."

"Que?"

"Fuck. Off. I'm giving you a five second head start. Run." I flap my... wings? What the fuck? I have wings now? Forget it... the guy runs. Time to hunt the goon. I take off out of the room, chasing him. I catch him right outside the men's room. Perfect. I can wash the blood off me, at least my hands and face. I slam him into the wall... and through it. Huh. Super strength. Wait til Abel finds out. I wind up in front of the mirror, and look at myself. Wow. I'm uninjured, my hair is now red instead of dark brown, my height increased by at least half a foot, and... the wings. There's six of the things, the ones on my right are flaming, the others frozen. I can see through my torn off left sleeve that arm is now covered in tattoos, blue-white roses amid green leaves and thornvines. Nice, but... what the hell did 914 do to me?

Clef and Gears catch up to me. They're both staring at me like they're seeing me for the first time. Which, to be fair... it kinda is. At least, the accidentally improved me.

"Rabbit... wow. Normally, I'd be against extreme makeovers... but you're hot."

"Clef, three of my wings are permanently on fire, it seems. Oh." I look in the mirror again. The face is mine, yet... not. A refined version of me. Weird. Meh. At least I only have the wings. Huh. Wonder if I can tuck them in or something. I will my wings to fold, and they melt into my back. Good. Damn things would just be in the way.

"We're going to want to run some tests, see what you can do. And there's going to be a mountain of paperwork." Gears said. "But, I'm just glad you're still mostly our Rabbit. I'd hate to lose one of our brighter lights in the darkness."

"Honestly, Big Boss... I'm just thrilled I survived. Just... don't sign me up for a cell of my own just yet. I'm still me, I'm still part of the Foundation. I'm just... altered. And in desperate need of a good cup of tea."

"Rabbit, my wee bunny... I'll make you a whole pot. You still on the jasmine green kick?"

"Yeah. Hey, have I ever told you that you two are my favorite bosses, ever?"

"You're not getting out of the physical, little Bunny." Gears responds.

"Ah, bugger all that for a game of soldiers! You know I hate physicals."

[osaemu]

VIRGINITY LOSS: OSAMU DAZAI

✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: most people take it easy on virgins, but dazai's quite the opposite. NSFW

contents: fem!reader. degradation, corruption kink, name-calling, dacryphilia, edging, implied prior overstim. edit: i'll rewrite this someday.

when you told dazai that tonight would be your first time, you weren't expecting him to go about it like this.

it's barely been half an hour since he got you in his sheets, but in just that short amount of time, dazai's got you crying and mewling things you had never thought would come out of your mouth.

"tsk, where'd my good girl go? all i see in front of me's a little cock-hungry slut," dazai drawls, roughly grabbing a handful of your hair and forcing you to meet his eyes. 

"aw, does that hurt? m' sorry, baby, but you look so pretty like this."

the corners of his mouth curve upwards when he sees the tears streaming down your cheeks, and he languidly runs his tongue up the side of your face.

in the past thirty minutes, you've already cummed more times than your nearly-delirious brain can count. you had been expecting dazai to take it easy on you, especially considering that this was your first time having sex. ever.

but no, like the tease that he was, dazai saw it as a great opportunity to rail the shit out of you instead. 

"s' not every day i get to break into a virgin," dazai groans, adjusting his grip on your waist to give you more space to spread your legs. "you're so tight, darling, i can barely open you up."

dazai has your back pressed deep into the mattress and legs spread wide enough for you to feel tomorrow's inevitable soreness already settling in, and you just know that it'd be a good idea to beg your boss for a sick day.

"ah, you're doing so well for someone with such little experience. tch, i'm not even sure if i buy that you've never slept with anyone before. fuck–" dazai cuts himself off with a groan as he feels himself hit your sweet spot deep inside. "you almost there yet, pretty?"

you nod quickly, unable to form any words besides his name. being fucked by dazai was the most painful experience you'd had in a while, but it was the type of pain that felt like food for your soul.

"yeah, that hurt?" he says, voice almost a purr as his thrusts become more and more intense. "look at you, such a mess on my cock, baby. you're doing so well." 

"'samu, i-i'm close," you whine, back arching against your will. somehow, your fingers find themselves on dazai's chest, practically clawing at any bit of skin they can latch onto. this feeling of being so close to ecstasy is entirely new to you, and god, you never want it to end.

"really?" dazai cooes, pace slowing the moment those three words escape from your swollen lips. and when you let out a pitiful and almost needy wail, dazai throws back his head and laughs.

"aw, did i ruin it for you?" he says condescendingly, running a hand through your hair and pressing his lips to your damp forehead. "look't you, this tired from slutting yourself out on me for just thirty minutes," he tsks, shaking his head. 

you whine his name again and make a face. "'s-samu, you didn't finish," you mumble, each word punctuated by a heavy, shaky breath.

his eyes round in faux sympathy and he makes a pouty face, grabbing your chin with one of his hands and forcing two of his fingers into your mouth. "what's that, baby?"

when you try to repeat yourself, the words come out as incoherent gibberish. dazai being knuckle-deep in your mouth doesn't help either.

"i'll let you cum later, sweetheart," dazai murmurs, a mischievous smile on his dimly lit face. he runs one of the fingers inside your mouth over your tongue and withdraws it, licking your saliva off of his fingers with a satisfied smile.

"you gotta work for it, darling," he cooes, leaning in for a messy kiss before he pushes you down impossibly farther into his dick, relishing the pained cry you let out a second later. 

"i don't let pretty girls like you cum for free."

[biolizardboils]

update: i have Made Stuff Up about him

So first im gonna try to define some Cyber Space stuff using computer metaphors, sorry in advance

First off, Cyber Space was made by the Ancients, for the Ancients, and I think that's why everyone had such shitty symptoms from interfacing with it

Have you ever plugged in a flash drive and gotten a message asking to reformat it? Reformatting is when a computer goes "Ooh, new storage space--wait, its file system is different than mine. I'll just rewrite it with my own, deleting its contents in the process!" It can happen on accident if you eject a flash drive incorrectly, or even put it in and out too fast. Now remember how Sonic escaped Cyber Space on his own? Yeah, I think the Corruption was a reformatting that went wrong

The point of the grueling unfair-ass Trials was to tell Cyber Space "hey, this guy's not a flash drive--he's a fellow computer who wants to join your network!" So now he can "download" data from it more smoothly, and convert that data into some extra Super for this Super form. Thus, Super Sonic 2!

So Sonic's "going all out after all"? That was him trying to download all of Cyber Space's data at once. And the result was like running a high-end program on hardware that just barely supports it--thus the pain and passing out afterwards

okay enough nerd shit, here's some more general stuff

Touching him would feel like touching a staticky old TV screen, but way stronger

His fangs are less the rip-things-apart kind and more the long, thin, inject-venom-into-things kind. Except instead of venom it's junk data. Like *chomp* you're corrupted now

His voice is filtered like Sage's and also so glitchy that every other sentence trails off into gibberish like a YTP. He could try to say "I'm fine guys" and it'll come out as "I'm fiiiiif guy-y-y-YS"

If he hadn't been shot right at it, he might've missed Supreme and The End entirely 😅 Did you see how he was zipping around? Dude could barely control where he was going

Also if he hadn't had an urgent goal (stopping The End) at the forefront of his mind, he would've lost it briefly to the flood of data. Like he would've just floated there, listing the Ancients' rock-stacking leaderboards at the top of his lungs, until the power left him

I think if this form had its own theme music it'd sound like this song--a fast-paced EDM and metalcore fusion, like a Cyber Space level and a Titan theme trying to overpower each other. [Song is Violent Bounce (People Like ¥øµ) by I See Stars in case the link breaks]

now dont get me wrong, im sad that Cyber Sonic only existed for 20 seconds and is so situational that it'll likely never happen again. but also! that means we all get to Make Stuff Up about him! it's like Dark Sonic for a new generation, and i cant wait to see which headcanons stick in the fandom consciousness for years to come

[yandere-daydreams]

Just watched a post apocalypse movie and it got me thinking about a post apocalyptic yandere gang leader. In the new world only the strong survive and the weak are killed or sold into slavery. You know that you wouldn’t survive on your own and have to endure them no matter how much you hate them.

tw - implied violence/injury, implied imprisonment, mentions of blood, obsessive behavior, isolation.

I think I like the idea of a post-apocalyptic loner a little more, someone perfectly aware that numbers breed conflict and conflict is the last thing you want, when you're struggling to get from one day to another. They don't want to deal with commune politics, or mass rationing, or the endless power struggle that comes with a group made up of so many moving parts. They don't need that kind of uncertainty, to be around so many unpredictable minds, and they like being on their own, getting to decide when they're ready to move on from a certain area, only ever having to think about their own health, their own entertainment, their own needs. They like being on their own. They don't want anyone else to worry about.

They don't want to have to worry about you, but you didn't give them much of a choice.

You're injured, when they find you, covered in bruises and scratches and mud, bleeding and unconscious on the floor of a long-abandoned farmhouse, miles away from anything and everything. They don't need anyone else, but they're not a monster, either, and they're not just going to leave someone to die, even if all they can really do is wash you off, bandage you up, lay you out in one of the empty bedrooms and force water down your throat until your fever breaks and you can do something more substantial than cling to their hand and babble gibberish. Even when you come-to, you're still weak, barely able to hold yourself up, but you can eat on your own, and bathe yourself, and you can talk, tell them about your life before the Fall, the things you did to survive the initial collapse, the group you'd been travelling with - how it'd taken on more and more dead weight until it inevitably buckled, fallen apart, its rational minds reduced to in-fighting and its able-bodies reduced to violence. When you're able to, you try to make yourself useful, cleaning and cooking what they forage and hunt, boiling water taken from rivers and rain barrels, trivial tasks, but necessary, easy enough for your fragile health. You're helpful, eager to appease and impress. You make good company, and that's something they haven't had in a long, long time.

But, of course, you don't stay weak. Your bruises fade, your scrapes heal over, and your true talents start to shine through, your knowledge of edible plants and your skill with snares and traps, things that take you away from base camp, things that mean you might not be there to greet them when they come back, things that distract you from your caretaker, your host, your savior. You haven't learned your lesson, either. Already, you're starting to talk about heading off on your own, traveling south to a village that's supposedly thriving, with budding farms and clean barracks and a constantly expanding population. You say that you miss society, that you want community and running water and electricity, and you won't listen when they tell you it's dangerous, risky, a festering cesspit that might or might not even exist. They just need more time, a few more days, a few more weeks, an excuse to stop you from going off on your own, from putting yourself in harm's way. They won't leave you for dead, either, not like your last group, your other friends. They don't mind having to provide for you, spend a little longer hunting, carry a little more water, use a few of the pills they've been hoarding since everything went to shit. They don't mind having to worry about someone else, as long as it's you, as long as it means you won't try to leave them, again.

As long as it means you can't try to leave them, again.