#it’s. ITS….. hm. It’s complicated.
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the sonic series borrows and uses SO much from black culture. heres your periodic reminder about that and to be respectful about it. also if knuckles is the only one in your humanized sonic lineup that's black then do some serious introspection dude.
#exoticbutterstxt#anyway i had egghog sonic (evil) be a ballet dancer instead On Purpose.#because its european and has a very. complicated legacy. AND present.#and having a villain character be the one incorporating breakdancing into their fighting style is. hm.
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.
i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.
and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.
there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.
the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.
why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies
at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.
good for him.
#starters movieunleashers#rambles#long post#mudkip starters#fennekin starters#chespin starters#NOT TO SAY THAT BEING 12 YEARS OLD ABSOLVES YOU OF ALL CRIME BUT GOOD GOD#i honestly think it was good for chespin to distance himself from them??? especially mudkip. holy cow#he seemed... happier(?) in wild oranberries but tbf its hard to say for sure#bc chespin loves doing this thing called “lying”#also. i saw the end credits sequence#not sure how to feel about it i do not have enough information to go off of#but i suppose itll make more sense... all in due time#but going back to what i said earlier i think the issues a lot more complicated#i worry about chespin that boys friendship is basically just “i can fix him!” like girl. no#THEY ALL NEED THERAPY#INCLUDING THE GANG FROM LAVENDER TOWN#*ESPECIALLY* THOSE GUYS#please. ill cry#i cant help but think this will all end in tragedy#i hope mudkip gets a good ending or at least a bittersweet one#like again. he kills people. but hes also like not even in high school and i feel bad for all of them#anyways IM SORRH GOR YHE LONG RAMBLE I RLLY LIKE THIS SERIES??? AND THIS THOUGHT WAS EATING ME ALIVE SO I RLLY WANTED TO SAY IT#hey gang. new hyperfixation#hm. i should also mention the “watching his close friend die on front of him and feeling responsible for it” to the list of chespins traumas#i domt think fennekin was a “bad friend” as much as i think she just had her owm things toing on#and its entirely chespins choice to dostance himself from her
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I hated you (I loved you too)
Funnily enough been thinking about tenken again. Homoerotic friendships will be the downfall for us all I fear !!
#tenken soo funny to me imagine being obssessed w this girl and she does not give a fuck#idk guys !! theyre funny to me especially bc i literally just do not know their lore. clocked out too early but theyre still funky to me#important tengen thing is that she always has to look like theres nothing going on in their head#important kenjaku thing is that they always have to look either extremely bored or smug or smitten. silliness trapped </3#the quality is lowk ass but whateverrrr i had sm fun drawing this#was listening to wuthering heights a while back and went hm! what if. yeah :D#i think kenjaku would go omg hi🥰🥰 and get ignored and then immediately become obsessed forever lol#i think tengen does care but also she doesnt. its complicated. i dont even know them tbh but she regularly sacrifices girls so like.#okay queen of idgaf. although nobara is more one tbh tengen yaps abt the greater good or smthing. nobara truly does not gaf.#kenjaku goes yea this is all tengens fault the homoerotic friendship got too much meanwhile tengen has zero idea wtf theyre talking abt#also i love drawing them tbh!! designs so funky i like when i can just make up shit. fuck jjk canon tbh what even is going on lmao#maybe i need to read more of their lore cuz this probably isnt accurate at all but like whateverr 👍#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#tenken#tengen#tengen jjk#kenjaku#kenjaku jjk#id in alt text#storms art#stormy in here
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Jazzy Doodle
#mod art#sfw#Jazzy#OOC#been!! struggling a lot.. with my art lately. How I feel about it.. More than usual! I've been taking breaks but its.. hm.#idk! complicated feelings are complicated. I miss being 15 and not caring how my art looked and feeling good all the time! yknow?#this jazzy expresses my feelings. truly#THAT WAS A LIE this was a apology for inactivity on twitter post LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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that face when now you, the "co-lead scientist", are targetted as well and your body has Also been used as a vessel for an Unknown 3rd Thing (your own exclusive edition) so now your hands carry the blood of your family when you wanted them to be at peace. And you Also get Made Fun Of by a coworker you trusted
Like we said. Classic Situation At The Corporation.
#apollo and his never-ending guilt for something he never actually committed but it is also Complicated and a moral dilemma of its own#apollo who copes with this by committing to a “routine” to set his mind on only one goal for the day and not think about his feelings#Or his problems. Or anything he currently feels. In a way Dissociating himself from who he was as a person and limit himself#making himself a hollow imitation of a person or his past identity and just Losing the sense of himself. What is he?#Who is he as a human person if not just someone reduced to “kindness to exploit”? I Don't Know! And He Doesn't Know Either!#back to showing just what damage prometheus's “plans” had on the Order's members. It is Apollo's Turn to get psychologically Destroyed#apollo's immediate reaction is to dissociate himself from the tragedy in a way. And how kenix puts on a front to dissociate himself—#from the actions he had to perform because of prometheus. Hm. Hey. Hey You Two.#yomo ocs?!#yomoart#apollo#kenix#tw blood
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blacked out and came to with a document full of macden
#ada speaks#ada writing macden in 2024........ hm#its all dennis introspection but i have a Plan#the funny thing abt macden is that mac is so goddamn dense i can commit to usual den shenanigans#charlie is way too perceptive it doesn't usually work#i will laugh if i manage to post this before any of my longass fics#its. playing with some concepts i have used before (i will say. victoria being conceptualized as an entirely separate person.)#i find den's separation of self really fascinating bc for me the trans experience has been. hm#playing a part for the masses but knowing who i am beneath that#its opposite for dennis but also the same. he doesn't see vicky as himself but he doesn't have a core either#he's a shell hosting her in his body but she also feels like the most authentic version of the self#and thus. gender euphoria. very weird and complicated gender euphoria.#one dennis holds himself back from expressing to its fullest extent#what was i talking about again#oh yeah macden. that's there too. i think probably den's gonna put the moves on mac but i haven't decided how itll go.....#this fic is just dennis doing psych student brain things thinking abt mac and their relationship and breaking it all down
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fun thing about being single now is i don't have to wait for somebody else to be in the mood, i can just watch what i want whenever. watched the first three episodes of fullmetal alchemist yippee!!
#txt#i like ed. he's. relatable.#older sibling. short. wearing red. the arm thing (not like.... in real life.... hm its complicated)#anyway damn i like this anime im glad i can watch it finally#not that anything was stopping me other than courtesy of Watching a Show Together
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I've seen a lot of people say that Wally is Dick's best friend, and I've always been a little confused by that. First of all, it's obviously Donna. But even if we're narrowing the field to just redheaded men, I always felt like Dick was closer to Roy than he was to Wally, but I figure that's just what I've read. Even in NTT, which is the only thing I've really seen with them together, Dick and Wally didn't come across as especially close. Got any recommendations on what I can read to see more of them?
Yeah so trying to pick apart these relationships is pretty confusing because canon is just as wishy washy about it lmao. You’re right that dick and wally being closer is more of a modern invention, and I think influenced by yjtv(?) But tbh I cant even blame modern comics for that, it was even inconsistent in the 90s (I believe dick was referred to as wally’s best friend in titans 99 and the flash run). So. Who knows
Historically & in NTT especially dick was always depicted as being closest to donna. Though NTT is honestly not a very good ref for wally in general, he quit pretty early on and wolfman was just bad at writing speedsters💀 If you want recs for dick & wally I would say the first 20 issues or so of Titans ‘99, Flash (1987) #81-83, and Flash Plus Nightwing (1997). And a lot of modern comics ofc though I can’t rec those in good conscience🤷♀️
#ask#dick and wally are like… hm#im pretty hard on birdflash and we like to vehemently shut down any ‘wally is dick’s best friend’ claims#immediately to go ‘NUH UH ITS DONNA����🤬’#but I mean.. they kind of are idk#my feelings on canon dick & wally vs fanon are very different.#truest form of their relationship to me will always be ‘Best Buddies :D’#like they are definitely close. ppl who try to refute that are kind of trying too hard lol#I do think dick is closer to donna but they kinda transcend best friendhood into being platonic soulmate qpps#so if you like seeing wally as dick’s best friend idrgaf.#they will forever just be besties who love hanging out and doing dumb shit together 2 Me#oh and ROY..#whatever they've got going on is so separate in my head lol like if dick and wally are besties dick and roy have a way crazier#more complicated toxic homoerotic thing going on
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wanted to open my pride icon commissions this weekend but it'll have to wait because. sad
#life is a little bit in shambles#like it's fine but it's also very much in shambles and sometimes im fine about it but sometimes im not#i also might have to open regular comms instead hm#decisions decisions#we're moving this summer and it's not without its complications :'D
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anyone else ever think about how one of swain's in-game lines to darius is 'no daughters, only soldiers' and how in the blood of noxus the daughter darius didn't know was his daughter but did know as his soldier and who was perfected as a soldier killed the woman he loved ie her mother right in front of him for daring to question noxus's obsession with soldiers and loyalty and how swain was not there and how there's 0% chance darius ever talked about this except to say that quilletta was killed in the rebellion but basilich was brought to heel but obviously swain knew because of raum like he knew darius was in love he knew invetia was his kid even though darius didn't and he knew what darius elided and just never says anything about it other than a thing that if you aren't in the know could be taken to mean that darius literally has no children except the soldiers he leads to all be do-or-die like invetia but swain knows and darius probably suspects that he knows at least about quilletta and they just go on ruling the empire like that like greek god levels of demented morality because that's the noxus they built and there's no other way for it to be because i think that's one of the closest moments the lore gets to acknowledging that all empires are evil empires
#like i love riven but the 'imperial soldier realizes the Evils of war after witnessing a war crime' is...hm#a complicated literary move to say the least#not darius#the horror of the empire isn't located in the people who leave it's located in the people who stay#despite realizing that said empire is taking all its own children and putting them in the omelas basement#until they grow up to be like actually the basement was awesome#we should put fresh new kids in there it makes them better stronger people#like do not give the audience the hope that they can or will do the right thing#theres no walking away from omelas there's no fixing the basement the empire in its totality must fall or it will be like this forever#no amount of guilty conscience will change that#it's like how sparta is not awesome and rome had an almost industrialized level of slave trade bc that was the whole empire. slavery#anyway. good morning 🌞#darius#swain
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i have such a toxic relationship to sbr….. we are so fucking complicated……. except when they put the italian guy with fat tits on screen and let him do stupid and or disgusting things then im like a baby whos been handed a pacifier
#its like. it IS very good. especially by jojos standards. but its still a bit overrated by most jojos fans and has some very very hm#story and pacing descisions. but it is still good.#like do you understand…… like it is good thats why we are complicated……… but ultimately also its just not as Interesting to me thematically#as stocean like as a jojo part i will always keep rotating the holes rip off with prison lesbians in my mind instead. to avenge its#treatment by jojo fans themselves also. ok bye
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like i was never into 1D and liam seemed like a very troubled guy to put it kindly but just. it’s only every so often you hear about such a young celebrity dying so abruptly. and I fully understand the distress of adults who were super into 1D as kids over this because that point in time was really not that long ago and yeah just. feels a bit surreal
#I don’t want to compare him as a person IN THE SLIGHTEST to this but. let’s be real i can sympathize with old fans#partly because I was diehard dedicated to a band that lost one of its members to an early death#my feelings on that undoubtedly are far less complicated than what old 1D fans are going through of course. because jjong was an#infinitely more likeable person. for lack of a better way of putting it. but still#hm. just. much to think about#kibumblabs#also I must say jjong’s situation was also a billion times more impactful because I was deep deep into shinee at the time#rather than like. a past fan like most are in the current situation#but I digress
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Makes me angry to see people in the same year and course as me get involved in extracurriculars. 'I'm editor for a magazine and my blurb says I like to travel and go to concerts' oh yeah well um my responsibilities have been piling up to the point where I'm paralysed by the idea of reading a book I like and I'm squeezing by to give the bare minimum and so far this week I've gone to One lecture. But we're on the same level
#not shittalking the editor shes my friend shes nice. im just a creacher#its just like Hm well we bonded over being autistic and there you are going out and doing things and here i am a dysfunctional hermit#more complicated than that but it does feel a bit of a kick in the pants
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Every boy king painting is just like: hey guys fo you wanna see the same idea rehashed over and over again?
#and i eat it up every time 🥰#idk ill be like ah i wanna make a new and interesting portrait#and then its just yknow. a portrait.#anyways want to see if i can draw seb w the imperial austrian regalia#i would do the holy roman emperor stuff but hm it is a nightmare#even this im like: catie. why do you want to draw a fuckinf crown. do you know how complicated it is!?!??!?!#its fine ill try and then cry myself to sleep when i realize its too difficulg#also my main takeway from research is that most monarchies have a royal sceptre#so please expect chibi art of seb bonking nando w his sceptre#seb: ah im bored. hey nando wanna play catch w the imperial orb? *doesnt wait for an answer*#my fav characterization of seb in this au is that he is fully aware of fernandos opinion on him#like he knows nando is constantly vigilantly judging him just to prove his own assumptions correct#and seb is like. okay its kinda a forgone conclusion how he feels abt me#so he just constantly acts childish and disrespectful bcs he KNOWS it gets on fernando's nerves so badly#catie.rambling.txt
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...
#aaaand thats a 3rd doctor. a psychiatrist. who listened to me ans thought: mm sounds like bip0lar lol#me: wow its so easy to get diagnosed as bip0lar. thats bc u r exhibiting lots of depression and a limit amount of mood elevation. that's#like. thats what bip0lar is. she was like yea ppl with bip0lar 2 spend like 75% of time being depressed and a lil elevated mood... which#sounds like what u r describing. me:#...yeah. but again its complicated by the 0cd and spectrum issues. but she independently brought up 4dhd. just when i was like no its all#0cd. here we r again. stuck back in the messy overlap. but whatever i got proscribed bip0lar medicine. lam1ctal. we'll see#bc everyone i talk to is like. we need to control the mood 1st. like so u dont die. and im like hm yeah good call lol#she seems super cool tho. like i would love to just talk to her. ugh. she wants to get a handle on the mood and then maybe add a stimulant#bc shes had it happen in thr past where someone comes in with debiltating 0cd and got treated with lam1ctol and a stimulant and the#obsessive rumination stopped. so well see. idk if ill actually qualify as 4dhd enough. well see. fingers crossed#my mood is a lil elevated rn so its all fun. well see if we tip off a cliff bc im getting less sleep and go go going#unrelated#ugh im scared to start the medine tho bc the ssri i got proscribed fucked me up so much. which is also an indicator of bip0lar#god dammit. if this works im gonna have to actually accept the idea of being bip0lar. i mean. it makes sense being on that spectrum#is just sounds insane and i was not expecting it despite my fucking obsession with understanding wtf my deal is#idk. whatever. doesnt matter
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