#this jazzy expresses my feelings. truly

[mod-jazzy]

Jazzy Doodle

[twizzie-lairs]

My Darling, My Honey

Alastor X Fem!Reader (Part 2)

Part 1 | Part 2

Quick Notes:

This is when both reader/you and Alastor are both alive. (... we'll probably end up in hell later on btw so stay tuned...)

Reader is an artist/painter.

Part 2:

Every day and night you had to stay trapped at home, it felt like nails on a chalkboard after that one fateful meeting that night.

The only thing that made the time bearable was the radio. Alastor told you he hosted a radio show. As so, you soon became one of his most loyal listeners. Anything to relive the moment when you felt like a person again.

So when the night finally came, that you could escape to Mimzy's establishment the next town over, you were over the moon at the chance to see Alastor again.

Luckily for you, your husband was going to be away for a week this time.

That night, you made it to the bar a bit later than usual, you had to be extra sure that it was safe to leave town unnoticed after a close call of almost being discovered by some relatives that lived nearby.

When you enter the bar, you hear some piano music. It wasn't unusual for Mimzy to invite musicians or let patrons play some music at the piano that resides in the bar, as long as they didn't get boo'ed off the stage. But this music stirred something in your soul, making you hurry into the bar.

It was Alastor.

You gasp, your heart beating a million miles a minute. You were so drawn to him. In this moment, the jazzy music that filled the air and filled up all the holes in your heart. You were captivated. So captivated, that you forgo greeting Mimzy and the bar entirely, in favor of walking over to Alastor at the piano.

He gives you a surprised look before smiling and immersing himself in the music once more.

You smile back and you can't help but sing along to Alastor's piano playing. The song was a classic, and also one your personal favorites.

As you sing, you sit down on the piano bench next to him. You notice he doesn't open his eyes, but the smile on his face deepens as your duet continues.

When your song comes to an end, it feels like you came back down to earth. The bar erupted in applause, the embarrassment flushing your whole face pink. You look over to Alastor who's looking at you with such a warm expression.

"My dear, what a lovely voice you have. Your talents truly seem boundless. I am quite surprised you knew that song."

You spend the rest of the night tucked away in a private corner talking with Alastor about all sorts of things, interests, likes, dislikes, deep conversations about life, and even your fears. But never once did you mention your home life, you'd rather die than let Alastor find out. The last thing you need is for him to treat you differently.

When you mention you listened to his every show ever since the night that you first met, his eyes light up and something in him clicked. He took your chin gently in his hand and brought your face closer to his, "Oh my, I have never met a finer woman with even finer tastes in entertainment~" which caused your heart to flutter like never before.

The tension and feelings between the two of you were palpable. It was clear to the rest of the bar that the two of you were smitten with each other, something akin to love at first sight. You tow were inexplicably drawn to each other.

You wish you didn't have to leave and go back home. But you knew you had to get home before dawn, even if you were going to come back the next day/night anyway. Relatives and in-laws usually liked to stop by unannounced and if they found the house empty, you'd be in for a world of punishment and pain. It happened once, and you would rather not relive that experience ever again.

So even though it pained you greatly, you had to say goodbye to Alastor. As you stood up to leave, Alastor's hand still held yours, you could tell he was reluctant to let you leave. Very rarely did he have the chance to enjoy such cultured and lovely conversation. With a sad and somber expression, you walked away, his hand slowly sliding out of yours.

"I hope you come back to me, ma chérie ..."

-> Part 3

[earthchica]

Right My Wrongs | 2

terry richmond x black fem! reader

summary: You attempt to move on from Terry and explore a new relationship, but Terry discovers this and refuses to let you go.

warning: ANGST, a little fluff, emotions, heartache, new character, pleading, complicated situation, co-parenting, six-year-old daughter, name calling &, etc.

note: thank you so much for the love on the first part. This might be a little mini-series; I have a whole lot to write. <3

series masterlist

It's been three months, and you were doing much better than before, but a sense of loss and longing remained in your heart.

Terry has respected your wishes, kept his distance, and is cordial with you when Jasmine is around.

You wish things were different between you and him, but it aren't, so you need to move on.

You've been on multiple dates with a few guys, but unfortunately, none have sparked your interest.

Jasmine asked about these dates and wondered what happened with you and Terry.

She hoped you two would finally get togather since Terry wasn't seeing Olivia anymore.

Yet, she noticed a difference in the way you two behaved towards each other.

You attempted to explain the situation to her as clearly as possible, but it only made her feel sadder.

Jasmine expressed her true feelings on the matter, leaving you feeling disappointed for making your daughter feel that way.

Because of that, you almost abandoned the idea of dating again until your friend Bri convinced you to go on a date with her brother.

His name was Marcus, and you've met him once or twice, and he was always sweet.

So there you stood, next to him, in a sexy, form-fitting black dress that highlighted your curves.

Your hair was styled in a slicked-back ponytail, and your makeup was subtle.

This had to be your fifth date with Marcus, and it's been going pretty great so far.

Marcus was a tall, slender man with a deep brown complexion and brown hooded eyes.

He was not only handsome and sweet, but he also dedicated his life to saving lives as a firefighter.

Marcus radiated an irresistible charm and sweet bliss that truly captivated you.

You might say he was the perfect guy, but you longed for someone else, and that was Terry.

Maybe you could settle for Marcus, and down the line, you fall in love with him.

"Hey, you good? " He asked, cutting you out of your thoughts with his husky voice.

Marcus smirked when you made eye contact, shuffling and coming closer to you.

You nodded "Yeah...."

"Do ya want to get out of here?" His voice dripped with a lustful tone that sent a shiver down your spine, leaving you intrigued.

"And go where?" you replied. Maybe you could also have fun with him first, but you had to be careful.

Marcus rested his hands on your lower back, and his lips drew closer to your ears.

You could feel the warmth of his breath trailing on you, straightening your back a little.

"Somewhere private. What do ya say, beautiful?" Marcus whispered, moving away to gaze into your eyes.

That night ended with you two having hot, wild, rough sex, which you really needed.

You, of course, used protection and were totally satisfied; Marcus knew how to dick a girl down.

The sudden ringing of your phone disrupted the peace, prompting a groan out of you.

You reached for your phone, checked the time, and noticed it was almost noon.

You answer the call.

"Hello?" You spoke in a low, indistinct voice, and there was a brief silence before the sound of a familiar voice reached your ears.

"Hey, baby girl," Terry answered.

"Uh, hey, Terry," You said, clearing your throat. You sat up slowly so as not to wake Marcus up.

"I was just calling to see if you were alright. And are you still coming to pick up Jazzy,"

"Shit...uh, yeah," You replied, gently releasing yourself from Marcus's hold before rising from the bed to make your way to the bathroom.

"Hey, beautiful, come back to bed!" Marcus mumbled in a drowsy state; you gestured for him to lower his voice.

He winked at you with a lazy smirk, and in response, you rolled your eyes and returned your attention to your phone.

"Who the hell was that? Are-are you seeing someone?" Terry asked in a tone filled with aggravation and panic.

"It's none of your business, Terry. I'll be over there to pick up Jazzy. Okay?" You uttered coldly and abruptly hung up the phone before he could respond.

You gazed at yourself in the mirror; your makeup was messy, and your hair was frizzy and wild, but nothing you couldn't fix.

You began your morning routine while Marcus was still sleeping in your bed.

Once you walk out of the bathroom fully dressed. You sighed, seeing him still asleep.

You wake him up, and he groans and turns over his side to look at you.

"Time to go?" Marcus asked, a slight smirk on his face while sitting on his back.

"Yeah, I have to pick my daughter I'm sor-" You started, and he cut you off.

"No, no, it's fine. I was just hoping to have lunch with you, but I get it," He says with a playful smirk, then gets out of bed to get dressed.

You waited for him downstairs. As he walked towards you, you turned and gazed at him, and he greeted you with a smile.

You laced your hands behind his neck and pulled him closer to your face; his hands found your sides.

"Marcus, you're a great guy, and I like you, and I want something out of this than just sex, if that makes sense."

"Hey, it's okay. I want something more, too, sugar," He says before leaning in and kissing your cheek.

"For real?" You asked with a slight smile, which made him grow a much bigger one.

"For real, beautiful," he said with a nod. You smiled and kissed him passionately.

-

Meanwhile, Terry felt his heart sink as he realized you might be with another man.

Terry couldn't shake the thought from his mind: "You were with another man." 

The words echoed in his head until he flinched out of it when he heard the voice of his daughter calling him.

"Daddy, are you okay?" she asked, confused while gazing at him from where she stood.

"Yeah, princess. Shouldn't you be getting ready?; your mom will be here soon," he said, quickly putting his phone down and tucking it away.

"Daddy, I can tell when you're lying. I know something happened between you and Mommy; she's been going on dates," she said, sighing.

Her eyes filled with concern as she sat beside him on the couch. Terry heaved a sigh, the weight of his mistakes.

"Yeah, figure that. I messed up really bad, Jazzy; she's upset with me and probably hates my guts."

"She doesn't, Daddy. You can fix it, and you can make her happy again. You both need each other; I need you together, I-I" she stopped, looking down at her hands.

"What is it, Jazzy?" Terry asked, gently placing his hand on her tiny shoulder, conveying his worry and care for her.

"I don't like going back and forth between houses. I wish we could all be together and live as a family—I told mommy...that's all the kids at my school have. I always wanted that. I don't like you and Mommy not talking and being happy like you used to," she explains.

Terry felt a deep pang of sorrow as he listened to his daughter's words.

He tenderly drew her into his embrace, comforting her as she shed a few tears.

"It's okay, baby. I'm so sorry; we've tried to make this work as best as possible."

"You can try harder, Daddy. Fix it with Mommy. Don't you love her?" She asked, looking up at him with her light eyes that matched his.

At that moment, Terry found himself wrestling with a tangle of emotions.

He was in love with you, but his fear and foolishness prevented him from acknowledging his true feelings.

The idea of you being with another man was too much for him to handle.

"I do, princess. I love her so much." Terry felt a profound sense of relief as he finally confessed his feelings.

There was something incredibly liberating about sharing this with his daughter.

"You have to tell her then; I'm sure she'll find it in her heart to forgive you…She loves you; she always has," she says, her eyes sparkling with hope as she smiles.

"Okay, Jazzy. I'll try," Terry said softly, with a warm smile. She nodded with an even more radiant smile.

-

You arrived at Terry's apartment door and were about to knock when it swung open, revealing your daughter, Jasmine.

"Mommy, can we please stay for dinner with Daddy? He made pasta and garlic bread," Jasmine begged without saying hello to you.

"Wow, no, hi, hello, mommy. I missed you, nothing?" you asked in a playful tone.

"Sorry," She giggled joyfully and wrapped her arms tightly around your waist.

"Hi, Mommy. I missed you so much," she exclaimed with genuine warmth.

"That's more like it, and I missed you too, baby. Were you good for your dad?" You asked with a slight chuckle.

You both enter Terry's apartment, greeted by the aroma of a home-cooked meal.

"Yeah, I was good. So...Is that a yes?" Jasmine asked, crossing her fingers with a hopeful smile.

You briefly looked down at her, then shifted your gaze to the big window, lost in thought for a moment.

"I don't know, Jazzy. Did you ask your dad if it was ok?" You asked, looking back at her.

"No need. I would love for you two to stay for dinner, only if you want to," Terry says, adding to the conversation.

His intense gaze met yours as he stood before you, clad in a snug gray T-shirt and jeans accentuating his muscular form.

"Just do it for Jazzy," you repeat these words, reassuring yourself that everything will be okay.

"I guess we can stay for dinner," You said with a small smile, shifting your gaze to your daughter, who looked so joyful.

"YAYYY!!! Thank you, Mommy," Jasmine yelled joyfully and enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around your waist once more.

You reciprocated her hug with a warm chuckle, and said, "You're welcome, baby."

"Come on," With a gentle tug, she beckons you into the quaint dining room while Terry quietly follows suit and graciously pulls out your chair.

"Thank you," you murmured, feeling a bit shy, and he nodded in response.

Terry proceeded to carry the steaming, appetizing food to the table. The dish looked and smelled absolutely delightful.

"That looks good, Daddy," Jasmine smiles, getting garlic bread with her pasta on her plate.

You nodded in agreement with Jasmine, expressing your approval to Terry.

"Yeah, Terry, this dish looks really appetizing. I'm sure it's going to taste amazing."

"Thanks, girls, I really appreciate both of you," Terry says warmly, flashing a charming smile.

Terry blessed the food, and you all began to eat and engage in light, casual conversation.

"Mommy, can we stay and watch TV?" Jasmine asked, her eyes filled with hope.

"No, Jazzy. You only asked to stay for dinner, and I'm pretty sure your dad has company coming over," you said, rolling your eyes.

"He doesn't, mommy. I promise...It's gonna just be three of us, right, Daddy?" Jasmine asked with a little grin.

You were keenly aware of her intentions, and you were certain her little plan would not work.

You shot a quick look at Terry, who had a slightly nervous expression on his face.

"Yeah, come on, baby girl. Just one show, and that's it," Terry says with a small smile.

You just gave him a hesitant look, and then there was a knock on the door.

Terry sighed and politely excused himself, reaching the door to answer it.

Once he disappeared from view, you turned your attention to Jasmine.

"Okay, Jazzy. What's going on?" You asked, crossing your arms in front of your chest and looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"What do you mean, Mommy? " she asked, looking at you innocently and shrugging shortly.

"You know what I'm talking about, little girl. We talked about this," you told her, uncrossing your arms.

"Just wait and see, Mommy," Jasmine says sassily. You look at her shock and wonder where she got that from. *you silly*

Terry returned with a large bouquet containing a mixture of your three favorite flowers.

"Woah, Daddy! Who are those for?" Jasmine asked with a giggle as she watched the expression on your face.

The delicate beauty of flowers always captivated you, and receiving them never failed to fill you with an indescribable sense of joy and warmth.

"These are for your mother. It looks like she's got a secret admirer," Terry said, giving you the flowers.

You took the flowers from Terry's hands, feeling his fingers brush against yours, sending a shiver down your spine.

You cleared your throat and moved away, giving Terry and Jasmine both a look before smelling the flower.

"Hmm, I guess we can stay and watch a show," you said with a shrug while rolling your eyes.

You three were cozied up on the couch, engrossed in an episode of Family Feud.

Jasmine gradually drifted into a peaceful slumber as the show progressed, finding comfort in Terry's embrace.

Terry took her to the other room, and when he came, you two discussed watching another episode.

"Oh shit, is it really three pounds?" You inquired, glancing over at Terry, who was chuckling and shaking his head in amusement.

"I am unsure," he says nonchalantly, lifting and dropping his broad shoulders in a casual shrug.

Steve Harvey on TV: Name a salad dressing that you see at a salad bar.

Both you and Terry simultaneously exclaimed, "Ranch," but then you quickly added, "I said it first."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did," you playfully remarked, jabbing your finger into his chest, teasingly referring to him as "applehead."

Terry chuckled as he gestured toward the TV screen. "Well, even if you did, they've already said 'Ranch,' he remarked.

"Mmm, whatever," you said, playfully rolling your eyes at him with a hint of amusement.

Steve Harvey on TV: Name something that happens in April.

The phrase "April Fools" echoed in unison from both of you once more.

A brief moment of shared laughter passed as you exchanged glances before refocusing on the television.

"I guess you can say I won," you said, rising from the plush couch, gracefully bowed and waved, silently mouthing "thank you" with a grateful smile.

"I didn't know it was a competition, baby girl." Terry lets out a hearty laugh as he rises to his feet and positions himself before you.

"Well, it was, so I won! What you gotta say to that, applehead," You said with a giggle, moving closer to him.

"You betta stop calling that," he said gently, tickling you, making you laugh.

Terry's heart couldn't help but flutter joyfully as your laughter filled the air.

You abruptly ceased laughing, feeling captivated as you shifted your gaze back and forth between his pretty eyes and his luscious, plump lips.

Terry leaned in, and you gave in to the kiss despite wanting to stop him.

The electric sensation you felt during the kiss, the comforting strength of his embrace, you shake your head before pulling away.

"Um...thanks for dinner, Terry. I know It means a lot to Jasmine. It's time to go. Yeah, it's time," You were about to leave, but Terry quickly intervened and stopped you."

"Hey, you can't just walk away after that," Terry's voice trembled with emotion as he reached out to hold both of your hands.

"Terry-" You began speaking, but he silenced you with a gentle touch on your lips.

"Please just listen. I'm sorry for a lot of shit I put you through; you never deserved it. You've been the best thing ever to me, and I've taken you for granted. I want to right my wrongs; I want to fix them. I'm tired of this tension between you and me. I want us to move past this and become like we used to be but different; I want us to be a family, for real this time." Terry said, a few tears streaming down his face as he continued.

"You love me, I know you do, and I love you, and I always have; I know it may be hard to believe, but I do love you, baby girl. I'm in love with you and don't want to lose you to someone else; give me a chance, baby. I know actions speak louder than words, but I just....need you to tell me it's okay," Terry said, his eyes searching yours for hope.

His words were sincere and borne the weight of his emotions, and you longed to hear that from him.

Though your simmering anger and stubborn pride obstructed your way, you didn't know if you could let go of the hurt.

"You must think I'm a damn fool, huh? You had plenty of opportunities to tell me how you felt, but you waited until Imma trying to move on to confess your feelings, huh? No, Terry." You said, shaking your head.

"No...I don't. I'm the damn fool, really...I know, I know. Come on...baby girl, you don't even want to try to give me a chance. Let me fix it; let's try to fix it. I want you, and only you, baby girl; I fucking love you, please," Terry pleaded, dropping down on both knees.

"Terry, stop. Please get up." You said, tightly gripped his shirt and yanked him upward, but he clutched onto your legs, pleading with you.

"Please," He whispered lowly. You are getting a little overwhelmed with emotions.

"I can't, I just can't," you said, harshly pushing him away before rushing to get Jasmine from the other room. "She can, but she is afraid."

You gently awakened her, whispering that it was time to say bye and go home.

As you gathered her belongings and prepared the car, you waited patiently for her to join you.

"Bye, Daddy," She said, kissing his cheek before wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Bye, princess. See you next week," Terry said in a low voice, desperately trying to hold back his emotions to shield his daughter from noticing his heartache.

[glaciertea]

Masterlist here~

Tales the Songs Weave

Ch.10<< >>Ch.12

CW: PinV, smut, light bondage, oral sex, all that fun jazzy smut

Chapter 11: Same Way that my Whole World's in Your Eyes...

Word count: 6K

It wasn't much. A nice kitchen that was barely touched. Clothes, tools, and other technology pieces were scattered about the floor. His bedroom had one dresser, with the solitary turntable and records you gifted him decorating it, and a gigantic California king bed. There was a long pane glass window in his main living and bedroom overlooking the twinkling lights of Nueva York.

Truly a magnificent sight to behold.

You both decided to just relax on his provisional bed, laying on your backs and staring at the ceiling. It was past midnight, and neither one of you could fall asleep.

“You know, Miggy, I've been meaning to ask, what do you do to relax? Besides coming over to my place.” You propped yourself on your elbows, turning your attention on to his bright, red eyes.

“Huh. Well, let's see. I enjoy–I do enjoy listening to music. Going to the park where we met. Side note, why were you there so late?”

"I wanted to clear my head. The park is only ten minutes away from my building, so I decided to just go. Why did you go?”

“Something told me to go. I guess gut instinct? I usually try to use my head more, but it won that round.”

You crawled and perched yourself on his chest, lightly stroking his face. “I'm glad it won.”

“I'm glad it did too.” His arms linked around your waist.

“Now, back to the matter at hand, is that all you like to do? Music and the occasional trip to the park?”

Miguel pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. “I… I can't think of anything else. I don't really have unlimited days and hours to do things I enjoy.”

“What about right now?”

His face twisted into a pensive daze. It barely crosses his mind that he appoints days for you. How prominent you're in his mind–that you capture so much of him.

“Huh. Well, I guess you can count this.”

“We can move on from this subject if you'd like.” Your forehead was placed on his.

“Quiero hablar de esto. It's okay, mi Luna. In a way, you're right. I see visiting you as a customary routine. That it's etched into another part of my day, but moments I profoundly enjoy.”

Miguel turned to the glass opening, concentrating on the artificial blinking lights that engulfed the world.

“But is it wrong to say I feel guilty?”

“Guilty when you leave your work?” You buried your head in his chest.

“I can't pinpoint the exact reason, or maybe I do. When I don't return, the burden dissolves but also manages to clutch onto that trepidation.”

“Miggy, are you still talking about your job?” You peered up at him.

Miguel leans his head back, vacancy plastering his face. “But does it truly wane? There's so much wrong, so many errors that I can't rectify, that I start to believe—no, do believe—I'm not worth…”

Miguel draws to you a solemnity that glosses over.

“Miguel?” You clamp your palms on the sides of his jawline.

“I'm sorry, mi corazón. I got lost in thought.”

“Are you okay? It sounded as if it was haunting your mind.”

“Haunting?”

You nodded. “Your eyes glazed over, fixed on something. You masked a stony facade, but your eyes had this faint, bleak, and ghastly look. What were you going to say? Do you believe you're not worth what?”

He averted back to the transparent window, a steady sigh spilling out. “That I'm not worth it. That I-I… shouldn't belong. That I'm this rancorous being with little to give. This monster that consumes others and brings them down."

You deadpanned for a moment, then slowly a choleric expression replaced it. Pressing his cheeks together until his lips puckered, you roughly placed your forehead on his.

“Don't you ever say that about yourself! You are worth every second, every minute, every hour, and every day! You aren't a monster; you are this amazing man who does his damndest to do good and to give so much to everyone and everything, and I want this man to do the same for himself! I want my star to see that he is just as bright and wanted as the others!” 

Your heart drummed uncontrollably. Miguel was stunned at your sudden, blazing obstinacy.

“I-I'm sorry. I didn't-” He was left shell-shocked.  

Having someone be passionate about how he perceives himself was an unconventional circumstance for him. He's so used to the belittling and snide remarks from others that all forms of positivity are out of the ordinary. 

“Don't be sorry, Miggy. Well, you can tell yourself sorry. Don't talk down on yourself when you're far, far from those things. Do you understand?”

“Si. Si, mi Luna. Ay… ¿Qué hice para que alguien tan maravilloso como tú descienda a mi vida?”

“French! I took French!”

“Yes, yes, you did.” Miguel flipped you over, garnering a squeal from you.  

He compressed a bit of his weight on your body and kissed your lips over and over before lingering for a few seconds.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

“Any chance you can get.” You enfolded your arms around his broad shoulders.

“Then I'll keep saying it. You are beautiful, my moon. How you adorn life and the ones around you, no matter where you go, you illuminate the paths with a glow that will never fade.”

A croaking screech belted from you, and your eyes began to well up with tears. 

“Mi Luna, you okay?”

“Yes! I'm okay! Just caught–caught off guard.” You planted your face on the side of his neck.

Then that fragrance smacked him. He removed his hands from your sides, digging his claws into the sheets. He groaned, doing his best to control himself.

“Miggy? Alright, there is something going on, and I'm getting anxious. This is the third time you have had this… reaction. What's wrong, mi Estrella?”

‘You should be ashamed, you sick pervert.’ It was one of the only sentences echoing in his conscious. ‘She is going to be appalled by your disgusting ways.’ Was one of the only assumptions he was falling for.

Yet, when he peers into those eyes, all he sees is earnest empathy. That you’ll take the time to understand, no matter what is propelled in your direction.

Despite the destructive beliefs he holds, he will let you in.

One string lies dormant.

“I-I… Since I have these enhanced... complications, I'm able to–I'm able to smell when you're about to... start your cycle?” He winced, his voice drawing out.

“Oh. You know, I think the app I have said I'm supposed to start in the next few days.” You rubbed your chin, closing one eye, as your brain tried to remember. 

“I- you're not mad about that?”

“No, why would I? You're basically like a personalized, super-scent humanoid app. Ah, that sounds bad when I put it into those terms.”

“Ay, no, no, I understand what you're trying to say.” 

Miguel gritted his teeth, avoiding your stare as he demeaned himself for a request he wanted. Despite him sparing no effort to shy away, you realized his chagrined feeling. 

You wanted to help him. You would just have to leave earlier to make a pit-stop over to a pharmacy, but it'll be all worth it.

“How does it affect you? I mean, I can take a gander, but I just want to be a hundred percent about it.”

“I just get so tense, and my blood boils to the point I can't even control myself. That's why earlier on the roof, I almost bit you because your aroma was so strong. Well, if you're about to start, that's probably the reason why.”

You gnawed on your bottom lip, enquiring about your options. 

“Off.” You simply commanded and patted his chest. 

Confused, he creased his brows before following your instructions. His mind began to scramble, disconcerted by what exactly you were masterminding. 

Sitting up, you flung your legs around his, straddling on them. “So, if I'm understanding this correctly, you basically get hot and bothered?”

You swept your thumbs against his digital suit. “And you need to have it taken care of? A sort of intervention?”

Interested in where this was headed, even though he caught the implications, he tightened his lips, not daring his mouth to open, and bowed his head.

“Well, if I'm causing this stimulation, then I should be the one to help, right?”

While leisurely caressing his thighs, you hypothetically watch his form for any minor differences. Rather, it may be from facial expressions to the body itself.

“Si. But, mi Luna, don't do this because you feel obligated to. I want you to be just as comfortable, and I don't want to-”

“Get rid of it.”

That dour attitude lunged out of nowhere. Miguel was keenly aware of how precisely doting you can get for your feelings for him, but never so frank with it.

“Corazón, are you sure?”

A roguish grin spread on your lips. You inched your hands towards his not-so-discreet bulge, your digits brushing against the fabric, concealing it.

“Is this answering your question?” You pressed your pointer finger on it, leaving feather-like touches around the outline. 

Miguel sharply sucked in a gulp of air, your eyes enthralling him as if you were a siren. 

A siren he will follow until the end of the universe. 

“Remove the suit for me, Miggy. Let me help you.” You bent over right up to his ear. 

“Let me worship you.” Your warm breath tickled his earlobe and part of his neck. 

No hesitation; he got rid of his gear from neck to toe. Body burning with desires for you and what you were cooking up. 

Your devilish grin dropped a bit, ogling at Miguel. You both haven't done anything explicitly sexual in your relationship, minus the few heated makeout sessions that usually lead to Miguel's shirt being thrown in a corner, but that's how far you would go. 

It was mostly due to you being afraid you would be inadequate for someone like him. 

And the same went for Miguel.

You bug-eyed at his size. You often daydreamed about how endowed he was. You were acutely aware that he was going to be large and highly telling due to his dimensions, yet being face-to-face with it was a new ballgame.

A drop of sweat trickled down to your cheek as you visibly gulped. Miguel, alerted, began to materialize his suit back on when a hiss revealed itself to him.

You groped him in your hand, pumping up and down in a steady rhythm. 

“No. Don't. I'm just not used to something this big, but I'm not backing down from this, oh no, mi Estrella. I'm going to take this one head first.” 

You slyly winked as your pace kept that firm pattern, your lips licking at the sight of him. He belonged in a museum. You felt so selfish, hoarding this sculptured man away from everyone, although you craved to keep him all to yourself. 

Miguel bit his lip, grunting through his teeth at your soft yet strong grip. “Joder, Luna mía, no sabes cuánto tiempo llevo queriendo sentir tus delicadas y suaves manos sobre mí de esta manera.”

Groaning out, he dipped his head back, his hips bucking with your strokes. 

“There you go, mi Estrella, let loose, my love.”

The only light to shine through was the city. You took in how the dazzling hues melded into a bewitching array over his chest and parts of his face. 

You always inquired about how you were blessed with him.

Picking up speed, you adored every appearance his face created as you continued to work your magic. Precum was leaking down, some slipping through your fingers as squelches from his self-made lubricant blessed both of your ears.

“There's so much, Miggy. How often do you think of me? Of us? Of your moon taking care of you?”

You squeezed, causing Miguel to violently toss his head back as your nails carefully scraped down his length.

“¡Mierda! So much, mi Luna, so, so much. Necesito tu boca, por favor, corazón, tus bonitos y tentadores labios a mi alrededor, mi luna. Ah–¡Por favor!”

“What was that, mi Estrella?” Your tone rang out with a melodic chirp. Your hand jerked in a wild, twisting motion as his manhood throbbed from the strain you were creating. 

“Your mouth–fuck! I need that pretty little mouth. Por favor, mi Luna.” Miguel rasped out, enthralled at how you were already breaking him. 

The cheeky grin never once left your lips. You tilted your head downward to view your handiwork, your other hand searching its way and latching onto the thick shaft.

You could barely cover it as your palms gyrated at different tempos. More drops of the clear substance dribbled out from the swollen tip. Miguel gritted his teeth, his fangs grazing the bottom of his gums from the sensations. 

He hasn't felt this way in years. If not, better. Even when those previous one-night stands or self-pleasing himself indulged, it couldn't compete with your touch or swift motions. How delicate yet robust your hands moved, using every fiber to care for him and make him feel good.

And it only made him want you more. 

“Mi Luna–Ah–please your- fuck–your mouth.” Miguel couldn't contain the hoarseness in his throat.

You eyeballed the phallus in your hands. The more you pumped, the further that tingle in between your thighs grew.

The veins popping out, the heat warming up your fingers with every stroke, and the flowing liquid from his heightened arousal. His musk emits, mixing with the scent of pure desires.

Your mouth watered as you still gripped the pulsating member. Your head was leaning down as your eyes faced his reddened head.

Moistening your lips, you kissed it. A shock coursed all over Miguel. He released a low, husky groan, his hips bucking more involuntarily. 

“Mi Luna.”

“I see you, mi Estrella. I see you.”

Observing his face, you made sure he was receiving the pleasure he deserved. 

Trailing light kisses from top to bottom and back up. You licked the tip, swirling your tongue at a slow speed. His talons shoved in the thin bedsheets and the firm mattress. He rumbled out a growl, preventing himself from just forcing you all the way down on him. 

“Eso es todo- ah, corazón, más, necesito más.” 

Miguel abruptly thrusted upward as you instinctively grasped his thighs to prevent yourself from tumbling over. Not wishing to tease him anymore, you gradually engulfed him, as drool immediately emanated from the corners of your lips.

“Corazón, yes, there you go, bebita. Just like that.” His eyes fluttered into the back of his skull.

You moaned from the sensations as you took each inch at a deliberately methodical rate. You had to have one hand back around his shaft, loosening your cheeks to even attempt to make it halfway. 

“Mmph–mmm!” You gargled as more spit spurted out. 

Miguel entangled his unsheathed claw in your hair, pushing you down and impelling you to take another part of him. 

“Si- si, si, mi Luna. Tu boca es una dicha eterna, mi corazón. Toma más, puedes tomar más.” 

Tears pricked in your eyes as your hand was back on his defined thigh. You were so close to getting him all in. Feeling every inch as it would glide against your tongue, rubbing against your inner cheeks whenever you'd sucked in. 

Noisy suction reverberated in the air as pools of your saliva and his salty substance dripped onto his lower pelvis region and thighs. 

You were leaking from him. Your tongue was whirling around delicately and deliciously, as if he were the final meal you would ever be given. His tip nearly stretched to hit the back of your throat, and as hot tears streamed down your face as you peered up to look at his beautiful expressions.

“Mi Luna!” Miguel moaned, his hold strengthening. “So close, I'm so close, corazón. Fuck–so good, so good.”

He stroked along your jawline, admiring the sight below him. Your teeth feebly grazed his cock, faintly biting enough to send jolts through his body. Enough to elicit a growl from him. 

Enough to face-fuck you. 

“Mmmm! Mmmph–mmn!” You could only choke.

Your throat trembled around him and tightened with every thrust he gave. You were comforted when you saw pleasure written across his face. You were making him feel good, and in this moment, that's what truly mattered.

Miguel cried out. With his hips ramming up into you, he couldn't hold back any longer. That heat he wanted to experience from you was built inside of him. He was close, and you sensed it.

“Mi Luna!” 

With a powerful roar, he finally released, pulsating waves upon waves of his hot seed down your pretty throat.

“Mmph!” Your eyes rutted wide as he spilled into your mouth, some leaking down to your neck. Nails dug into his thighs, and your eyes wanted to stare into his. He was majestic in your vision. 

You desperately desired to capture this moment forever. 

Gulping the final drop, you pulled away with a satisfying pop and heaved tirelessly. 

“My… my God, Miggy. That was so much—holy shit.” You gasped, wiping some of his essence off your face with your fingertips before greedily lapping it up.

“I haven't done that in so long. Was it good? Was I good?” You rested your behind on his knees and finally peered up at him. 

He had a fixed, ferocious glare. His burning, red eyes stirred something wild in them. 

Goosebumps swept over you. You didn't know what to expect. “Was... was it- was I not good enou-”

He was sitting up, looming over. You shrank, neglecting exactly how colossal he was compared to you. That vibrant, captivating stare only made you tremor violently more.

“Mi-Miguel…” Your throat quivered.

In a swift motion, your back was against the wall above the mattress. Miguel had you pinned, his strong arms holding up your thighs as your legs dangled over his shoulders. You didn't even register how quickly he got you in this position.  

“Miguel!”

“Ay, mi corazón, did you really think I wasn't going to reward you? That I was going to allow mi Luna to do all the work?”

He huffed a stream of sultry breaths on your covered inner thigh. “No, no. I'm going to show mi corazón that I can be good to her, just as she was good to me.”

He tore your sweatpants off in one fell swoop, muttering about buying you some more. Your chest heaved in rapid succession, head bowed as you watched how Miguel gaped at the massive damp spot from the earlier ministrations you performed. 

“Did my moon enjoy going down on her papi that much?” His sharp talons pricked at your soft skin.

You diverted to observe the night's horizons, the lower half of your body barely able to shift under his hold. 

“Look at me.” His authoritative tone barked out. 

You nearly came from that. Flicking back to him, his lips were hazardously near your shielded folds. “Tell me what you want, mi Luna.” 

“I-I…” You shrouded your face with your hands, mortified at the abundance of slick arousal seeping out of you.

His claws dug deeper into your skin as he stared you down, and his pupils dilated. 

“Don't be shy, mi Luna. Tell me what you want.”

He trailed kisses back and forth from your inner thighs, massaging your buttocks. You were practically trickling from your private region. Mortified that you can effortlessly get to this point with him. 

Miguel rested his cheek on your soft flesh, switching between kissing and licking exceedingly close to your bikini line. 

Miguel wasn't one to be a patient man, but for you, he would wait until the end of time, only when you spoke the words. 

“I-I want–”

“I won't begin, mi Luna, unless I hear it from those sexy little lips.” He purred, biting the crevice of your thigh, weary of his fangs. “So tell your Estrella, what. You. Want.”

He feverishly nipped the skin, running his wet tongue across it. He received a low whine as you shuddered at the wet appendage. 

“Miguel! Eat me out—please, please, I beg of you!” Your head flung back, not caring about the self-impact of the barrier behind you. 

You just wanted him.

“Como quieras, mi Luna.” His eyes darkened and delved in, lapping at the damp fabric with no hesitation.

You clung to his hair, your nails digging into his scalp. His claws tighten their vice on your supple ass-cheeks. 

Miguel traced the outlines of your folds before flattening his tongue, pushing against your hidden vulva. The murky cloth rubbing against you and Miguel's tongue heightened your sensitivity.  

You choked out a groan when you detected the tip of his talons making perfect slits down the back of your underwear before slashing the rest off of you.

“Mi Luna lo quiere, mi luna lo anhela. No temas, mi corazón, te daré todo lo que mereces.” 

He admired the glistening heat, watching as it squeezed for him, savoring your fragrance. You mewled, abashed by the situation. 

You didn't know what was to come or what to expect, but when you gazed into those lustful eyes, fear snuck its way through... and exhilaration.

“It looks succulent. I had the appetizer; now I want the full course.” 

His hot breath teased your entrance before enveloping you in his mouth. His carnal tongue licking your labia, tasting your sweet and salty juices. 

He stirred his tongue over the folds, dragging it all around, refusing to miss a single inch, then jutted in and out of your gushing core. 

“Oh fuck–fuck! Miggy! Shit, shit, shit!” You wailed out, tingles rushing up and down your limbs.

Miguel was untamed, ravishing that soaking pussy. His movements were possessive, like a predator claiming its prey, yet behind it all was tenderness and longing. 

“Mmmph.” A guttural growl sends vibrations through your sex, creating white stars in your eyes. 

Thrashing your head from side to side, Miguel slid his appendage out and began to slurp. His tongue moved up to the clitoris, thumping it a few times, then he proceeded back down and repeated the pattern.

“Mi Estrella! Ah–ah! If you do that, I'll—I'll—fuck!”

Miguel only amped up. He paid attention to every sensitive spot on your honeyed pussy. He needed to drink your delectable juices as if you were the only thing left to drink in the world.

The raw energy from Miguel drove you into a frenzy. He was rough and powerful, but each impel was for your pleasure alone. 

“I'm coming, Miggy! I'm coming!”

You cried out, clamping down on his tongue, and shuddered as waves erupted from your core. Your back arched off the wall, and your heels dug into Miguel's upper back. 

He wanted to drink every drop as some trickled down to his chin. 

“Qué dulce, qué apropiado para alguien como tú.”

Your forehead covered in sweat and thighs soaking wet, Miguel's ego brewed at the sight. 

He did that. And he was going to be the only one to see you like this. To make you feel this way. 

“How was that, mi Luna?” He nipped at the outer thigh and moved to clean up the rest of the spillage.

Your half-lidded, absent daze was all Miguel needed to know. He chuckled and strummed your back, loosening his grasp, and unlatched your legs, dropping you until they were locked around his waist. 

He weaved his strong arms around your torso, listening to your steady breathing. He stroked your hair, then pressed a kiss on your forehead. 

“You did wonderful, mi Luna. But there is still one thing. Well, two.”

Too jaded to even respond, a puzzled whine escaped you. 

“I'm a selfish man, mi corazón, and my thirst isn't quite quenched.” He yanked your head back, and his tongue ran over your neck.

You gasped, your body aching in anticipation. He peeled you off him and onto the firm padding as you were positioned as an angel descending from the heavens. 

“Oh mi Luna, ¿cómo tuve tanta suerte de tener a alguien como tú en mi vida? Todavía estoy tan desconcertado que fui yo quien te recibió.”

Miguel shifted off until his knees were on the wooden floor. He seized a hold of the thin cover you were on top of and hauled you to him.

“I still want more. But this time, I'm going to take my time with this dessert. Well, I'll try.”

“What do you mean?” You struggled to hide the intoxicated fright from whimpering out.

“You know exactly what I mean, mi Luna.”

He lingered over your body, roaming over it with his eyes. His hands stroked over every roll, dip, and curve, crushing his lips into yours. 

Your tongues in an intense, messy battle as you tasted yourself. A string of saliva broke when he pulled back, both of your chests rising and falling in near sync.

“I'll let you pick, mi corazón. One or both?” His hands tugged your shirt off and threw it in a corner. 

“B-both?” You were perplexed by those choices.

“Good choice.”

Yanking your bra up, he hungrily gazed at your perfect breasts, craving to have a nibble, maybe even a mouthful. 

You covered them, forcing him to pin each of your arms near your face with his organic web.

“Miguel!” You moaned out, flushed over the new position.

“Do not try to hide that body from me. Yes sir?” He snarled out.

“Yes, yes! I promise I won't do it again!”

“Good girl. But just for safe measures.”

He spread your legs wide until they touched the mattress. He thwiped more of his silk webbing on your waist, ankles, and thighs.

You were exposed, your heart palpitating as you could barely even squirm.

“Now, mi Luna said both, correcto?”

You meekly nodded your head. With that, he needed no more. He cupped your breasts, squeezing and pinching the hardened nipples brutally. You moan in ecstasy as Miguel brushes his talons against the sensitive buds before colliding them together.

“Both.” He grunted and took both nipples in his mouth, licking them maniacally.

He tugs and chews at them, making sure to leave love-bites all over your chest. You groan out raspily when one hand leaves your chest and scrapes down your stomach in a non-stop motion, halting at your entrance. 

A popping sound was made when he released one of your peaks.

“So wet again, mi Luna? Don't worry, I can fix that.” He took your left nipple back into his mouth, circling your clit with his thumb.

“Fuck! Oh–ah! Mmmn–Miguel!”

He plunged his pointer and middle into you, your walls clasping around them. Your back lifted up, only to be pulled back down from the binding.

He drove his digits deep into your core, his palms smacking against the folds as your juices spewed onto his hands.

Your lashes were wet from the sensual stirring from inside and your throat was hoarse from the screams and cries.

Miguel leaned his heavy chest on your stomach, leaving kisses all over your upper torso as you squished with every pump of his fingers.

“Mi corazón, you are so tight. I can feel every part of you. I will feel your wetness and your walls tightening around this cock. You want that, mi Luna? You want papi's fat cock to ravage and paint this gorgeous pussy?”

You could only sob as Miguel stretched you, rubbing against the top wall and locating your g-spot. His fingers create circular spirals against it. 

You wailed, your heart was ready to burst from your chest. Silent cries and more tears, until Miguel stole another sloppily kiss from you, bruising your lips with his, desiring for you to release all over his fingers.

“You don't know how long I've waited for this; you adorn my life, my moon. You make me want to be better; you make me want to- to—damn it, corazón!”

Miguel pushed himself off you, removing his fingers, as you wailed out from the stoppage.

“Miggy! I was close! I was so—ahh! Mi Estrella!”

Miguel replaced his fingers with his tongue once more, his mouth on your pussy as he was ready to devour you. He stroked his swollen member, the clear liquid leaking out in ripples.

He didn't even want to speak anymore; he only wanted to hear those needy, shuddering moans and screams. His hums added more pleasure to their moment of passion.

He yearned for this. To make you come undone over and over.

He wanted to hold you, cherish you, please you, and protect you. He only wanted you. 

And in this moment, he has that. He had one thing he longed for.

How long would this last? No, not right now. He didn't want to think that way. Now, he only wanted to make you orgasm on his tongue.

Snatching the webs from your thighs and ankles, he hoisted you up until your hips were in the air, your legs once more propped over his shoulders.

“I can't—I-I-I love—ahh!” 

You were blubbering like a fool, with drool and tears drenching your face and sweat shining all over your body. Miguel gnawed at your clit, the glossy muscle, abusing your insides. He went raw and feral; he wanted you. He wanted this. He needed you.

Your walls tensed at every plunge, Miguel's eyes locking onto yours. Cradling you in one arm to support your waist, he returned to pumping himself.

You were on cloud nine, ten, and eleven. His nose swiping your throbbing clit, him feasting on you as if you were the final meal.

Your raw whines of lust were tipping Miguel over as his cock ached for you, wanting to invade your heated, velvety wall.

To mold you for him.

“I can't—I can't hold back, mi corazón!”

Pulling back, your legs collapsed on the sturdy cushions. Your vision was foggy, searing at the marbled statue that was Miguel. You crooned out as he hunched over you, his girth in his hand.

How it gleamed in the light, presenting every vein from thick to thin, the swollen phallus coated in crystalline cum, making it sheen and sleek.

You were hypnotized by the pulsating, twitching with every tug he made. 

And that's when it hit you. 

That was all for you. You cried out as Miguel buckled onto the mattress, his face near yours.

“I'm not going to have mi luna wait any longer. I'm going to fuck you until the only thing you can remember is me and this cock.” He huskily murmured in your ear, gaining a shudder from you.

“Yes, yes, please, Miggy. Only you, just you!”

You hiked your legs around his waist, latching on to the middle of his back as much as possible. He was big in every shape and form, but you loved it.

Propping an elbow by your arm, he lowered his body onto yours as his abs and muscular chest pinned you down, but he still left enough space for you to breathe. His other hand clutched his cock, lining it up to your seeping entrance.

“Are you ready, mi Luna?”

You bobbed your head.

“Good girl, now let me, mi corazón. Ah fuck–let me just.”

His chapped lips captured yours. You were sugar to him—sweeter than all candies combined. He nibbled your bottom lip, his tongue gliding across yours as he began to penetrate your hot opening.

You immediately clamped around the head, eliciting a gasp from both of you. He tried to push in an inch as slowly as possible, but found it rather difficult.

“Mi corazón, you have to relax. Shit–relax, relax. I got you; I got you.”

You mewled and nodded. With the help of Miguel's finger rubbing circles around your clitoris, you breathed in and out steadily, purring out whenever he slightly rocked his hips.

“There you go, such a good girl; you are doing so well. Fuck, mi Luna.”

He stretched you out more and more, pausing so you could adjust to him. After some help with encouraging rubs from between your thighs and several forehead kisses, Miguel was fully in.

He had to prevent himself from just railing into you as your inner muscles squeezed him.

“You can move, Miguel! Please! Please, please move!”

“Si, si, voy a ser dueño de este coño, moldeado sólo para mí, ah, mi Luna!”

His claws clutched the sheets above you as he slowly began to plunge into your depths. You released a cry to the heavens, feeling every pulse and steady pump from the man above.

You grinded up whenever Miguel thrusted downward, making your hip bones meet with every drive. He lapped at your neck, biting and sucking, leaving more purplish-red hickies all over.

He strived to restrain himself from plowing, but his hearing picked up every lustful squeak and moan, every squelch when he withdraws to the head and propel it back to the hilt, and every sweet nothing you murmured as you drooled and absent-mindedly grinned.

He sped up. Ramming into you repeatedly, plundering your drenched heat.

His member snugged as he experienced every inch of you clinging to him for dear life. His tip bullied your cervix, and you shrieked at every pulse as he rubbed against your walls.

“Too much, Miggy! Oh, fuck—I worship your cock, mi Estrella!”

“That's it, baby. Let go and surrender to me.”

Your nails dug into your palms as Miguel panted and growled in your face. 

Surges of electric tingles through your body. The wet smacking of your pelvises flowed through both of your ears; a symphony of your raw moans and his low, husky huffs had your back slightly curling.

The mattress shifted with each retract and bolt as your breasts bounced in all directions. Your murky fluids gush on his lower abdomen and thighs, blemishing his mattress and soaking it thoroughly.

“Oh, mi corazón, so warm, such a perfect shape for me. Let me look. Let me look.”

Arching his back and hiking your legs up slightly more, you both viewed every exit before Miguel crashed back down to your core, hitting your g-spot perfectly every time.

Every inch of his length coated in your slick. Sweat dripping from his forehead on yours.

You were going to come undone.

“Mi corazón, mi Luna, you're so good. You are too good for me. Just us, just us.”

“Miguel! I'm so close! I'm going; I'm going to—ah!”

“Cum for me, cum for me, mi Luna.” He whispered gruffly in your ear, kissing your cheek.

His balls slapped against your ass from the brutal pace, his flaming irises treasuring every expression. You writhed as you deathly clamped around him.

Miguel hurriedly tore the webs from your wrists as you hooked your arms around his neck.

“Oh Miguel!”

You screamed to the top of your lungs, your eyes rolling into the back of your skull, as a kaleidoscope of hues and shapes blinded your senses. Your legs shook as if you were in a strong earthquake.

Miguel's motions became erratic, his hips moving roughly as he was nearing his own climax. A few more impels, his body tensed up, his seed spilling deep in your core, claws slicing the silken bedsheets.

“Eres mía, mi Luna. Only for me.” He snarled and took you in a sensual open-mouth kiss.

Two strings broke off.

“I-I… holy- mi-mi Estrella, I-”

“Shh, shh. Just relax, mi Luna. Relax. I'll take care of you, mi corazón. I will always take care of you.”

You lulled your head as your muscles unwind. Miguel freed you from the rest of his webs, but you didn't mind it. It felt right in a sense. Being bound up, you detected that security, that sense of trust you both held.

“I'll be here, mi Luna. I will always be.”

Were the last words you heard before your body was shuffled around as you passed out.

At this time, you felt as if things were going to be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@ella-janehaven @prozacgooble @sanguwuxyoonbummy

[jd-loves-fiction]

𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥 (3)

➢  A new ghoul is summoned, they're small and unsure of who they want to be. The ghouls and ghoulettes help them figure it out while bringing them into their loving arms and showing them that no matter what path they choose, they will be loved.

➢ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: poly!nameless ghouls/ghoulettes x OC (Ghoulie)

➢  𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: fluff ❤

➢  𝖜𝖈: 1.8k

➢  𝖆/𝖓: POV CHANGE!! ALSO CAN YOU TELL SWISS IS MY FAVORITE YET?? Actually very very happy with this one, lots of mystery~ And if you’d rather read this on AO3 here’s the link :D

➢⚠️: Swiss. Also Swiss being... well, Swiss

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 3 - 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖙 𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊

Days pass with my only company being Aether and occasionally Rain. I’m starting to feel like that princess in the tower, waiting to be rescued by a prince I don’t yet know. Ok, maybe a prince I do know would be less creepy.

I wake up one cold night, alone in Aether’s bedroom since he decided to sleep in someone else’s tonight to get me used to being alone. Dewdrop, I think he said?

Well, turns out that wasn’t a great idea, considering I’m wide awake at… 2:52 in the night. But what am I to do, wake him- both of them up because I couldn’t sleep? Sounds oddly selfish. 

Perhaps the bond has started to form without me noticing, because I can almost feel something missing from inside my chest as well as a chilling silence inside my mind. Though it’s hard to say if that’s just paranoia.

No, I don’t need anyone’s help to fall back asleep - I’d been doing that for who knows how long in Hell. And if you can fall asleep in Hell, you can fall asleep anywhere.

Or at least that’s what I thought. It’s proven wrong after around 10 minutes of tossing and turning. After all of that, I end up turned towards the door, from where I see light coming through the crack. That wasn’t like that when I went to sleep…

Realizing that I'm not going to sleep just yet, I get up while rubbing the sleepiness out of my eyes.

After passing through the first door, I find the door out of the common room open as well and so I pass through it as well.

Moonlight spills into the abbey's grand hallway from the courtyard in the middle, from where a soft melody sings - energetic and warm. The singer’s voice is sensual and deep, curling like a beckoning hand around my mind, urging me closer to it.

I follow the jazzy tune out to the courtyard, where the moon can be seen clearly as I look up. It’s at this moment I realized I’ve never seen a moon, or a sun! Hell doesn’t have either, only a dark void as the roof that looks suspiciously like the insides of a long-deceased giant creature.

It’s round and bright. So much brighter than I thought it’d be! It looks like the largest, shiniest, roundest pearl in an ocean of stars. It’s breathtaking, so much better than the books described.

The sound of melodic humming snaps me out of a trance, running to quickly and quietly hide behind the nearest bench like a feral cat. I’m not alone.

After calming my breathing as much as possible, look over my cover to find the source of such a lovely sound. Another ghoul!

They lie on the edge of the fountain, bathed in moonlight, eyes closed and expression as serene as can be. Their voice is light and sweet, like a spring breeze, matching the music player so perfectly, it almost seems like it’s their song.

The music player itself is a curious thing - it’s open, spinning a disk as large as a cat and as dark as coal while a needle slides along its grooves. It looks vaguely familiar and interesting in itself, but I’m far more captivated by the unknown ghoul.

Their skin is a dark brown, disaturated like all the others, hair is even darker, strands tightly curled and soft-looking. Lips are plump and turned in a peaceful smile, lines around them indicating an easy-going personality. My eyes can’t help but move down, which makes me feel slightly creepy, which is the weirdest part. This is supposed to be normal for a pack. At least that's what Aether told me… Maybe I feel this way because I’m not truly one of them yet.

The thought makes me drum my claws against the stone of the bench nervously - it feels wrong to think it, no matter how much I’m inclined to believe it.

Lost in self doubt, I fail to notice the humming has stopped, the ghoul’s chest (barely covered by a white tank top) stutters in surprise and two dark caramel orbs reveal themselves from beneath lazy lids, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

I gasp, crouching lower to try and hide myself again - an utterly fruitless endeavor as the ghoul’s eyes remain glued to my form, curious and amused by the lazy flicker of his dark tail and the small flash of white teeth between dark lips. They announce as much, “No use hiding now, cutie.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” I stand up awkwardly, fidgeting with my nails for something to do. They’re long, could use a trim… do ghouls even do that?

“It’s alright, no problem with staring. What is a problem, is you not introducing yourself. Now that is quite rude.” He’s toying with me, that much I can tell, and deriving quite a lot of amusement from it. He must be Swiss.

“M-My name is Ghoulie… for now.”

"Oh, you're just as cute as they said you'd be. My name is Swiss, but you probably already know that." His words bring heat up to my cheeks, just what have they been saying about me?

“What are you doing?” I ask, moving closer slowly, still looking over his casual pose.

"Bathing in the moonlight~" He responds playfully, stretching with something between a purr and a growl, satisfied, no doubt.

"I see…" I return to fidgeting, now only a step around from the fountain, not sure of what to say. A familiar feeling festers deep in my gut, an old friend and something close to an enemy at the moment.

We've just met, so why the Hell do I feel like this?

Aether's late night ramblings about the rest of the pack come to mind. Swiss was described as 'one horny fucker and far too charismatic for his own good. The Sisters' favorite, for obvious reasons.' 

"You always been this shy, or is it just me?" His hand hovers close to me, I feel something prod at my mind, like knocking on a door in a dream - the bond.

I close my eyes, concentrating to try and break down the wall that separates us, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. It feels vaguely like trying to put an electrical plug into an outlet in the dark - it’s a lot of feeling around and hoping you don’t get electrocuted.

A warm hand settles on my arm, urging me to open my eyes to meet his caramel orbs, “It’s ok, you’ll get there.” 

“So everyone keeps saying.” I grumble, crossing my arms stubbornly. Swiss scoffs, amused, before patting the spot beside himself, urging me to sit down.

“Isn’t it supposed to be working already?” Frustration bleeds into my tone as I sit down, knees tucked to my chest.

“It’s different for everyone. Sometimes it has to do with your personality, sometimes it’s your element - do you know what yours is?” He can’t hide his curiosity, even if he actually tried to, it’d be painfully obvious by the widening of his eyes and how his breath shortens.

“No… no clue at all.” I sigh dejectedly, “What’s yours?”

“Well… did Aether tell you about element combinations and all that?” I blink up at him, combinations? “I guess that’s a no.”

He sits up straighter, indulgent smile on his lips making his fangs peek out from between them, “Alright, so there's the main 5, which I'm sure he's told you about; water, fire, earth, air and quintessence. But there's one more, it's extremely rare so I don't blame him for skipping it… also for… other reasons." His dark caramel eyes dark to the side briefly, remembering something no doubt unpleasant.

What other reasons…?

"Anyways, that last element is shadow or darkness. There's only ever been one full shadow ghoul and plus me. Kinda. I'm a Multi-Ghoul - fire, earth and shadow." His chest puffs out proudly as he says while my eyes widen in wonder. Why didn't Aether tell me? Did he really just forget?

"All of that just so you keep in mind that you might also be a Multi. And to explain what I'm doing out here. I guess the shadow side of me likes the full moon the best, so I indulge every time I can." He looks up at it with a reverence I cannot yet understand, as if all is right in the world when he looks at it. I hope one day I'll get to feel that too.

"Enough of all that sentimental shit, how's your tail coming along?" He grabs it before I can react, making my spine straighten like a bow string. The corners of his eyes twitch as his peaceful smile turns mischievous at the gasp I let out. “Seems like it’s still quite sensitive. That’s normal, don’t worry.” Though his voice is kind, his hands are not as he continues to rub and pinch my tail in ways that make my stomach flip.

“D-Don’t–”

“Don’t what? Don’t stop?” He chuckles, lips close to my flushed ears. "I don't need a bond to know you don't want me to stop."

I hate that he's right. But I also don't, not when it feels so good. I quickly realize that I hate that I'm so easy to read. I've gotten too comfortable being around ghouls like Aether and Rain - gentle and sweet, more interested in leading me by the hand than teasing me.

"... But I guess that's too bad." The warmth of his hands disappear and not even the hand in front of my mouth is enough to muffle the sad, little whine that you make in response. "I'm not risking Aether's wrath when I can be patient and wait for my turn."

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"You're smart, at least from what I heard. You'll figure it out." That sneaky little smile is back on his face.

A mix between pleading and frustration settles over my face, directed at Swiss, whose grin wavers indulgently.

"Listen, if you haven't figured it out yet then either you're not as smart as everyone thinks or," My nose scrunches, mildly insulted despite his jovial tone, "and I find this one more likely, you're not meant to know yet. Plus, this is a conversation you really should be having with Aether, not me."

His dismissal is beyond suspicious, but I reason with myself that I don't quite know him yet - maybe the mysterious vibe is just his thing. I hold myself back from making a joke about him being shady. 

Swiss shoos me back to my - Aether’s - room, not long after and I go with heavy lids and a mind full of questions.

Perhaps I should check the library when I get the chance.

[ben-the-hyena]

Ok so I did watch the Haunted Mansion movie the day before yesterday. I almost did before and as said chickened out because I was sure it was gonna be shit, but ended up going because "don't be stupid give it a chance, HM has a thousand canons, it's its own and won't affect the ones you love. If you don't like it, it will just be on it's own. And you did like the 2003 movie as flawed and not respectful of the ride's spirit as it is"

And... I apologize to this movie. It was very good !

Spoilers below

I feel bad to have chickened out before. It DID respect the spirit (the trailer and summary were misleading, they intended to exorcise them all AT FIRST and they were not all evil, a majority turns out good and lovable and goofy and mischievous when they follow you home and do know you enough and don't want innocent people to be killed, they act and chat casual to each other a "lively" natural way when seen through the lens of the ghost realm and in the end FUCKING FINALLY Disney UNDERSTOOD they are meant to STAY because it is their home and the humans and them coexist happily in the end !!! FINALLY NO MORE "they are sad and need to go to the Other Side" BYT AKNOWLEDGING THEY ARE THE 999 *HAPPY* HAUNTS WHO STAY HERE BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO) and there were so many good Easter eggs so I feel like it was made with love by peoole who do know the ride and its lore

I liked little details like how Master Gracey's (who for ONCE is cute to me ; I love moustaches ok) name was William like in the SLG comics (and the name I use in my headcanon), Constance even if evil (and psychotic as most adaptations make her, sigh) FOR ONCE is not the main villain and ends up fighting against the common enemy, the Ghost Host even if never named IS there instead of being fused with Master Gracey like he used to always be on adaptations (too bad he is evil and apparently supportive of Crump but oh well, he always was ambiguous and meant to be interpreted however we wanted), the old lady in the Stretching portraits NOT being Constance like she used to be before being retconned as her (and even being grey haired like she used to be), how "no flash pictures please" for the ride was incorporated as a genuine in-universe thing NOT to do or it will hurt YOU, how the professor's transparent coat and hat were hints at the old transparent plastix clothes the old animatronics wear for their effect to work, and how they all were terrified and most looked evil in the trailerd not out of evil but essentially like the ghost who hits the kid in the Sixth Sense to finally have the mortals do something and help them showing they are not pure forces of magic and supernatural and in fact start helping in return when the mortals finally understand and coexist happily like friends when all is good (like the same Knight who earlier had fun scaring them all giving Ben a slight little nod to tell him to hide under the table ; it was a serious dangerous moment, no time for scaring)

Also it was great to see all the rooms and recognize them. And I actually loved the music, not a fan of the Grim Grinning Ghosts party remix in the end but the New Orleans jazzy touches here and there did put me in the mood especially at the start. The CGI wasn't always great (GOSH IS ALISTAIR CRUMP UGLY... I STILL STAND BY IT, CGI WENT SO FAR ALL FOR HIM TO LOOK LIKE A POLE EXPRESS CHARACTER) but when it worked it SLAPPED (genuine scary moments like Travis seeing Constance for the first time, for a Disney movie it truly felt like a Conjuring scene, and all the ghosts hiding and running from Alistair the first scene we finally see him was BADASS and scary with the score helping), the pictures taken by the elaborate camera really felt like ghost pictures that are debatable as real or not with only the silhouette and details appearing and not a clear picture, and even if MANY things were predictable (I knew for the cat IMMEDIATELY, and Travis' dad being dead just the way he spoke of him, and it was so obvious Ben and Gabbie would end up together), many also caught me off guard (the fact it was not Travis' dad but Alistair Crump passing as him for one year holy SHIT talk about villainous patience and awfully deliciously evil to try to push a grieving lonely bullied child to suicide by passing as his dead dad "don't you love me?" and I did not expect Kent not to be a real priest that was a hilarious plot twist). The humans, even if I STILL want an adaptation that focuses on the ghosts as main characters one day and am a bit tired of real estate plots, were not insufferable and forgetable like I imagined they would be, they all had their motivations and interactions making them likable, Ben's arc to finally mourn his wife was touching, Travis felt like a real child and was not annoying on the contrary he makes you need to hug him for all the shit he goes through, the medium first passes as a bitch who ends up being actually nice and effective, Gabbie even if she is the one who marks the least is a good mom and doesn't take shit for granted (meanwhile the movers still didn't come lol), the professor is an eccentric grumpy old guy who finally knows childlike joy at the prospect of being there after having studied its cases without ever visiting it for 60 years despite having heart problems (which... went nowhere. Seriously ? At this point he could have been the 999th ghost, what was the point of hinting he will die of fright if he doesn't ?) and Kent is the kind of lovable scammer who speaks a lot who ends up becoming genuine

Not perfect tho. I did laugh at some humor like Kent's hints he is not a real priest by being questionable, the medium and the professor, and the Scooby Doo chase between Kent and the evil ghosts, but I am not fan of the other half (gosh do i hate Wellon speak anf quirky jokes Disney pulls these days in its Marvel movies and animated shows, that still made me cringe as shit) and I think some stuff are solved too easily (really Kent ? You managed to have the evil ghosts who knew they were doing evil be on your side just by telling them Alistair will do nothing for them ? As if after 150 years there they did not see by themselves he was evil and would never repay anyone !? Also WHY WERE THEY JUST STANDING THERE THE WHOLE TIME THE GOOD GUYS DISCUSS WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO SAVE THE HAT FROM BURNING AND PREVENT ALISTAIR FROM DOING HIS SCHEME WITHOUR STOPPING THEM OR INFORMING HIM ? THEY ARE SO FUCKING DUMB HOLY SHIT) and I thought some stuff were wasted potential (really ? The Hitchhiking Ghosts exist and it is hinted Ezra is the one who follows Gabbie and Travis to their hotel but never they are aknowledged as being the main ghosts to follow you home and the ghost who helps them outside of the Mansion is a sailor ? Are you kidding me ?) Also, a nitpick but the actress they took to play Leota really did not feel like Leota to me, she really did not look like her at all, I never thought I'd say it but Jennifer Tilly from the 2003 movie looked more like her. Also no Singing Busts ? Unless they were quick I did not see them. Oh come on, the theme song should have be sung by them !

NOW THE MAIN COURSE : I DID enjoy Alistair Crump. He was a very, very good villain. Ok I was not a fan of how the Crump manor scene was there to show you how eeeeevuuuul he is (his chair is higher than others at dinner to have them feel small ! He doesn't want people to sit anywhere else because sadism ! He openly shows his wife he cheats on her by hanging the portrait of his new mistress before her just to humiliate her ! He felt contempt for women especially if they can *gasp* read ! HE EVIL ZOMG *0* holy shit...) but like you all I def loved the scene about his backstory. All the animation budget went there, it really felt like the kind of urban legend/rumor turned into legend you can hear about a mysterious local historical figure, and even if it did not excuse his behavior it did explain how a traumatized unhelped child can become somber snd dangerous). Alistair Crump felt threatening, was manipulative, was omniscient and dangerous always there knowing even when the protagonists plot against him and is defeated only because one changes his mind at the last moment

But... note how I did not refer to him as the Hatbox Ghost once in that post. Ok I DO know the HBG can be evil and already was, like in the SLG comics (which I think it takes inspiration from. Evil Hatbox Ghost pushing William Gracey to suicide to join his dead bride/wife resulting in the mansion's curse). But to the extent of being a Satanist with more powerful powers than everyone else, terrorizing everyone even Constance just by his mere presence, only wanting sad/dark music to be played, omniscient of everything, manipulative mastermind who plans his plot one year in advance like a guess game, wants to keep the ghosts for himself to terrorize forever, laughs evilly and when you think you win happily breaks your hopes... that's not the Hatbox Ghost. That's the Phantom. He even looks like him at times, his clothes are more similar to his than Hattie's. It shoule have been the Phantom or gis own original character. Seriously Disney the Phantom was RIGHT THERE, why fusing them into one ? It really felt like, magnifying a silly ghost just because he is a famous character, he is seen like a demon not even as a ghost and it's just a guy with a hatbox, that felt kinda... not underwhelming becausd Alistair is badass and legetimately threatening, but it's like I made a reboot of the G3 MLP, had Kimono be feared and everyone fearing her because she is the most powerful and when you see her she is a normal purple pony with a Christmas tree decoratings cutie mark but who speaks evil snd laughs evilly, jusg because she is one of of the most known G3 ponies so was randomly picked instead of another more fitting character for such a role, you see what I mean ? Also like another post says... uh... Gracey died in 1788. So why does Alistair who is supposed to be already dead by the time the Graceys come dresses up like he's from the 1860's ? Does he die in the future but ghost summoning affects space and time !?

...without Crump anymore are they just 998 in the end ? Even less since a minority did go back to the Other Side when given the choice ?

Anyways it was a good movie. Much better than the 2003 one even if not perfect. I recommend

[ccthewriter]

CC's New Watch Ranking 2022: #2 - The Young Girls of Rochefort

1967, dir. Jacques Demy

Every year on Letterboxd, I make a list of the 100 best films I’ve seen for the first time. It’s a fun way to compare movies separated in time, genre, and country of origin, and helps me keep track of what I’m watching! This is a series of posts about my Top 10.

This is the pinnacle of cinematic joy. No other film contains such happiness, such leaping mirth, such radiant sunshine. This is a glass of lemonade at the height of spring; this is a giggling kiss given behind a carnival. Every few days I turn to my wife and scream-sing “Nous sommes deux soeurs jumelles! Nées sous le signe des Gémeaux!” and it never fails to make us laugh. You’ll find this year’s ranking contains a lot of serious films, many of which touch on the darker elements of our lives. Les Demoiselles de Rochefort stands in stark contrast as a true comedy in the classical sense, concerned only with love and laughter. It is the best musical ever committed to film. 

Young Girls follows a pair of twins looking for love. Their mother runs a cafe in the town square, where a caravan of performers have just arrived to set up a carnival. They dance around this space as they seek romance, their soulmates passing through and barely missing them each time. It’s a wonderful comedy of errors, interspersed with the greatest musical numbers you’ve ever seen. 

I want to express my affection for this movie with a high-pitched squeal, because every element is perfect. But I’ll try to isolate what’s working here. The story is simple and classical. The visual language is divine. It begins with a very long shot of the caravan traveling over a bridge to arrive in town. The lingering intro makes viewers feel transported into Rochefort, which becomes less of a real city and more of a fairytale kingdom. The set design and costuming is brilliant, and is displayed with a relatively still camera that will rotate to view its subject, but rarely go dutch or do anything else fancy. The stillness makes the contents of the frame shine. 

There’s some Wes Anderson levels of symmetry and color at play here, too. The sisters are coded in yellow and pink, and the entire world is tinted to match them. They pass through the Frenchest, most beautiful locations imaginable. An antique store with rococo furnishing and white marble. Little shops made of wood and glass. Cobblestone alleys lined with bright plaster. Truly, every detail, from top to bottom, is made with cinematic beauty and grace. And the music! It soars, it's jazzy, it's a little funky, it's just the best you could imagine.

I’m finding myself at a loss for words! I don’t know what else to say other than this is good - really, really, really good. No movie embodies the freeing feeling of love better. There’s a production history I don’t know about and couldn’t begin to describe. Catherine Deneuve is incredible, but we’ll spend more time talking about her very soon. If you find yourself sad and looking for something to cheer you up, this film is it. Treat yourself to the freedom of the soul this film can instill. You deserve it. When we think of building a better world, we should focus on making it feel like this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you made it this far why don’t you give me a follow on Letterboxd, where I post reviews and keep obsessive track of all the movies I watch. Feel free to drop a line if you checked this movie out and want to share your thoughts!

[moderndavetherapy]

Changes

The epitome of life.

One of the most feared, yet yearned actions we humans face habitually.

My favorite Tupac song, even if he ripped it from Bruce Hornsby and the Range.

Before I go down the rabbit hole and dive deep beneath the surface that has been null and void, lets get a few things straight...

The sole point of this blog is to naturally convey the endless thoughts that occur in my mind in an organized fashion that helps me express myself and that others may relate to or enjoy.

The primary reason for creating a blog and posting is to remain disciplined. Yes, I could simply write in a journal or tell myself that I'll write five-hundred words two times a week, but lets face it... by the second week I'll be cheating myself and burning $2.99 on a porous pile and papers bound by sticky tape from Walmart.

In a universe where more people are familiar with ChatGPT and Love Island than a foreign language or the seven wonders of the world, I strive to bring back raw journalism to help others use their brains to think clearly for themselves and ponder common thoughts.

Lastly, in an era of Artificial Intelligence, the common practice of reading and writing has been reduced significantly to a point in which I feel the need enhance my writing skills before I turn into a drooling mongoloid with the vocabulary skills of a toddler.

Alright my actual last point, the words I write are not intended to target any specific person, gain followers, or acquire likes by any means. If you're still reading this, I'm sure I lost a few people by now, and actually find pleasure or peace from my insight...then the least I can do is say thank you. This blog is not for anyone, but myself. However, I am always willing to share ideas, laughs, stories and bond with others on this journey to a better self. I appreciate your support!

So, without further ado, welcome to ModernDaveTherapy! A fresh look at life's common conundrums in an utterly raw fashion.

As I sit by my kitchen island and reflect upon my last day of work, I stare down and notice my chewed up fingernails graciously glide across the keyboard clicking and clacking like a jazzy tap dancer in the roaring 20s. It didn't make sense to me, but I immediately fixated on a small insecurity, rather than vast changes that are about to alter my life. The simple thought of a perfect fingernail conquered all other thoughts from changing jobs, to changing living arrangements, to changing self-sabotaging intoxicating actions into disciplined routine of self-growth, all in a matter of seconds. In this very moment, I became vulnerable to the unknown future and acquired a heaping dose of determination to not bite my fingernails...as pathetic as that might sound.

Enough with all the bullshit. I truly believe that the beauty of change resides in the journey of new discovery or the path in which we take to purposely develop a better self or situation. It's immaculate to watch the leaves alter their colors in the midst of autumn, right before they die to the harshness of winter. Let's be realistic though, some us live in the desert and find our life of leaves being pummeled by the 120 degree summer heat that forces a much more antagonistic change than the previous fairy tale. No matter which method of madness may occur, one thing will always stay true... There is always something to learn from every action, no matter the significance.

I reminisced upon my time working at a beverage distributor, engaging in a never-ending battle between the positive glorious memories of happiness and bliss being bogged down by the calamity of corporate culture creating chaos and a lack of control. I started questioning my decision of CHANGE, wondering if something new was worth the so called habitual routine I have endured the past 18 months. Rather than weigh the pros and cons, my mind immediately transported me to my previous occupation. One of the last times I was forced to CHANGE.

Before I CHANGED into a beverage sales rep, I was a scam artist in a cult. My apologies, I sold private health insurance to people that either couldn't afford it or probably weren't healthy enough to acquire the plan. I began my day around 3:45AM every morning with a breakfast of white lines and prescription pills, followed by a shower and a Jimmy Dean Egg White Delight. After robotically calling hundreds of people and spamming their phone with several texts from multiple phones, it was time to refuel for lunch. I binged on fast food, nose nachos, and amphetamines to prep me for another grueling afternoon of begging innocent individuals for their banking and routing information.

I endured twelve months of this paradoxical prison before questioning my own reality. It all began with a simple CHANGE of thought. A minuscule thought developed into a series of small CHANGES that eventually led into what I felt was freedom. Before I knew it, the shackles had abandoned me and the CHANGES I decided upon granted me with a new life.

As I shifted back to this very present moment, I easily recognized the importance of change. Without change, we leave no room for growth and learning. Every change in my life has resulted in something resourceful, even if it has been painful in the process. Changing locations across country, career paths across industries, hobbies and even homies; has created this adventure called life and led me one step closer to understanding who the fuck I actually am.

The debate of pondering if I made the right decision concluded rapidly. The fear of change abruptly disappeared. The recollection of past perfection transduced into a simple message, "Nothing lasts forever, but more will readily come." I immediately embraced the changes that the future held, knowing that I was ready for a new adventure and that it was time to move on.

I think it's funny to fear change. It's easy to get lost in the depths of contentment, but as time endures it transforms into anguish. As the peace of reality slowly turns to turmoil, a change must be made. After all has been learned and growth has been stunted, a change must be made. When boredom strikes, a change must be made.

As I glanced back at my fingertips I glared at the imperfections. The callous cuticles overtook my thoughts one last time. Instead of dwelling on the flaws of past actions, I decided to embrace change and learn from previous mistakes. By taking a different path, I should end up in a different place. Who knows, maybe in a month I'll have fingernails and actually have a use for nail trimmer or clipper or whatever its fucking called.

Most people don't like change, but that's normal. The sooner change is embraced, the sooner the fear leaves. It's not easy, but it's inevitable. I think this new job is gonna be just fine.

[blondevibrations]

Strings & Stories: Concert Review of Liang Lawrence and Adam Melchor’s Acoustic Sets at Omeara (18 February 2024)

There is truly no better way to spend a Sunday evening than to immerse yourself in two of the most dazzling acoustic sets that I have witnessed in a long time. On 18th February 2024, Adam Melchor took a short interval from his support slot on tour with the jazzy pop artist (and Grammy award-winning!) Laufey to host his own headline show at Omeara - an iconic venue for Londoners to discover budding talents. And, Adam was accompanied by a Blonde Vibrations’ favourite, singer-songwriter, Liang Lawrence.

Liang Lawrence graced the Omeara stage first in her support slot, and is a perfect match to perform alongside Adam, having previously supported him on his EU tour last year. She shares Adam’s warm musical tone and personal anecdotal on-stage presence, it’s impossible to leave Liang’s set without feeling like you met her in a pub beer garden and found a new best friend. To an audience who may not have discovered her discography yet, Liang described her songwriting process as a bunch of letters that she “didn’t have the guts to send”, a nod to her debut EP ‘letters to myself’, released in August 2023. Liang’s raw and intimate EP details the experiences that all young girls have experienced as they grow up and her storytelling is something you can picture in a typical coming-of-age movie - it’s hard to not associate the therapeutic release of these letters in musical form with the 2018 Netflix teen movie, ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’.

Liang expressed her experience of performing her personal songs as placing her heart on a platter and asking the audience to all “look at it”. A song that stuck with me, having finally been given the pleasure of seeing Liang live was ‘stuck’ (excuse the pun); a song dedicated to her best friend. As someone who absolutely believes in platonic soulmates and has planned to spend the rest of my life with my best friend - see also: Blonde Vibrations - I could cry thinking about this song; the chorus being:

And when I feel like there’s no place on this planet

But I don’t understand the stars

There’s no place that I could’ve crash landed

And I like to be stuck where you are

Liang accurately summarises the feeling of finding the perfect friend who feels like home to you, giving you comfort no matter what external stresses there may be. Throughout Liang’s set, she demonstrated her intricate storytelling, with a sneak peek of an unreleased song inspired by a run-in with an ex in front of a supermarket. A scenario that, let’s be honest, could happen to us at any point and be the subject matter for every friend date for the next foreseeable six months. The song extends this interaction to a metaphor of a funeral in the aisles of a supermarket for the previous relationship, a dramatic analogy that you would expect on Lizzy McAlpine’s 2022 album ‘five seconds flat’. Speaking of similar artists, Liang performed an acoustic version of The Japanese House’s ‘Touching Yourself’ from the album ‘In the End It Always Does’ (2023) - the perfect fit for both the crowd and Liang’s voice. The support slot concludes with Liang’s top song on Spotify, ‘(not) a love song’, partnered with the story of Liang meeting someone on a night out and deciding that they will then spend the rest of their life together, once again who hasn’t done this? Liang and the audience, captivated by her charming anecdotes, giggle at the sweet couples who produce relationship montages to a song that is ultimately based on a delusional potential future. The song’s hook of “oh, to be in it / oh to be in it with you” will be swirling around in your head for days after listening to this tune, and you won’t be mad about it.

After a brief break between acts, Adam Melchor began his headline slot and instantly the audience was in awe at his talent, both vocally and on the acoustic guitar. Adam’s passion for music and live performances shines throughout the set, and he takes a moment to thank the audience for attending the show and emphasising the importance of supporting live music and venues. The audience peacefully sang along to both new and older songs, especially during the deeply personal, ‘The Archer’, a song about Adam losing a friend too soon, and the gap left from this, with the haunting lyrical hook of ‘I need more time’. There were quite a few tears at this point of the set.

Adam’s powerful lyricism shines through strongly during this acoustic set, with the guitar really letting his vocals and words shine in the intimate venue. His potent lyricism is something we would expect from the likes of boygenius (both as independent artists and collectively). For example, in ‘itsjustmyheart’, Adam tells the story of an ex’s car being damaged by a fallen tree shortly after breaking his heart, with the chorus reading:

When the tree fell on your car

And made your windshield fall apart

You called me and I always wondered why

‘Cause I don’t have the auto parts

And you have your insurance card

After singing, Adam chuckles saying how funny it is to hear crowds sing his “silly songs” back to him. When you purchase tickets to an acoustic set by such an emotive artist like Adam, you don’t expect to laugh as much as you do - but it’s a pleasant surprise. Before performing ‘Angel Numbers’, the American singer says how ironic it is to perform the song with the reference to Tower Bridge, which is ‘right over there’; then admits that he’s actually not sure where Tower Bridge is in relation to Omeara.

This headline slot was truly one of a kind, with two surprise guests. Liang returned back to the stage to perform ‘Touch and Go’; a perfect blend between their two voices, we need a studio version of this ASAP. Then for the final song, after the record-short encore break, Adam played his bestselling song ‘Real Estate’ with Searows, a fellow American singer-songwriter, also performing at Omeara the next day. We were blessed with two unreleased songs, ‘Is There Still A Light On?’ (hitting streaming services on 22/02) and ‘Not Good For You’ (release date TBC) with Billie Eilish’s ‘What Was I Made For’, a song that took the world by storm with the Barbie hype last year.

Both Liang Lawrence and Adam Melchor’s sets left the Omeara audience in awe with just their voices and guitars; a testament to their magnetic stage presence and undeniable talent. Individually, they produce intricate narratives within their song, jam-packed with emotive language and deep-cut metaphors and it makes for an incredibly captivating live music experience. It’s safe to say that they are going to be long-term favourites over on the Blonde Vibrations podcast.

Written by Lilyemma, Blonde Vibrations co-host.

[paige-book]

PAIGE Chapter 2: Old Habits and an Even Older Bracelet

It was a boy, maybe a year or two older than me.   Well, at least he wasn't a creep. 

What? It was a real possibility.

He had brown, wavy hair, which was jutting out at awkward angles, courtesy of the wind. The dark brown eyes, punctuated by specks of hazel, were fixed on me. A large smile was etched on his face, showing off his pearly white teeth. The blue stripes of his shirt flapped this way and that in the wind. 

"Are you ok?" he asks, his eyes running over my face. Then, his expression changed. "Wait, I know you from somewhere."

Now it was my turn to analyse him. He looked familiar, and then it hit me, 

"Y-you're one of the boys, the ones I'm staying with."

Okay, admittedly, that wasn't the best way to explain it, but I was quite tired from both the car ride and the running. And, I don't always think before I say stuff. An old habit that is hard to break- It has lead to quite a few problems with my previous foster siblings, but that is a story for another time. 

His puzzled look was then replaced by sudden realisation. 

"You're Paige, Paige Lockett, the girl coming to stay with us."

I replied with a small jazzy-hand. 

"Yup, that's me!"

"I'm Michael. Er-are you ok?" He repeated, "Why are you running away."

Now, part of being a foster child means that you learn to come up with excuses and explanations on the spot. 

"I, was, um, admiring the view?"

I didn't get that skill. 

Michael looked at me for a second. Then at the "view". Then back at me. Apparently deciding not to call my bluff, he continued with;

"Well, we have gotta go back now." And turned to walk down the path.

I audibly exhaled, following along behind him.

------- 5 minutes later -------

It turns out that I didn't run nearly as far as I thought it did, because in about 5 minutes we were walking right up to the house.

Mr Ashford and Ms Lewis had gone inside, but Maria was still standing in the doorway. She gestured inside once she saw us walking up, and my new foster parents joined her in walking down the driveway.

"What on earth happened?" Ms Lewis asked, concern clear in her voice. Maria stood behind her, her lips pursed. She evidently knew exactly what happened. 

Now, I had spent the walk back coming up with a better explanation for why I ran. None were fantastic, but I came up with one that is better than "I was admiring the view." 

"Um- I dropped my bracelet out the car window, and went back to get it." And held up the unclasped chain, the sunflower charm glistened in the sun. "I'm truly very sorry for just running off, but this bracelet is very important to me."

Yes, the first part is a flat out lie, but it was also a kindness. I didn't want to tell them the real reason I ran; because I was scared. That would make them feel bad, I could tell. But it wasn't purely altruistic- I didn't want them to give me back. As nervous as I was, now that I had calmed down, the rational part of my brain told me that this foster situation was the best option. It was this or long term foster care. Judging by their file, the letters they sent, the book they made, they truly liked me. Maria was right, and running away did nothing except mess up the first introduction. Besides, the second part is completely true, I really am sorry to Mr Ashford and Ms Lewis, and to Maria, for running off. And this bracelet, wrapped in a Post-it note with my middle name, was the only thing my mother gave me before turning me over to state care at the hospital. 

"I'm glad you got it back, but please don't run off next time. Tell us, we would have come with you to help you look." Mr Ashford, his face slowly relaxing as his worries are eased. "And thanks Michael for helping bring Paige back, we wouldn't want her to have gotten lost." 

I completely forgot Michael was standing behind me. Turning around, I was met with the same stare that greeted my "view" excuse. Again, he didn't call me out.

"No problem dad. I was walking back from Jared's house and saw her run down. Also, Alex and Drew said practice ran over, so they'll be home a bit later, and Edward is still at the library."

As they had their conversation, Maria pulled me to the side.

"What really happened there Paige? And don't give me that 'I lost my bracelet' nonsense, I saw you in clasp the chain as you walked up the drive."

Unlike Michael, Maria would confront my lies. 

"I am really sorry Maria, I just felt so overwhelmed." I let out. "Seeing the house, seeing the neighbourhood, seeing the yard, seeing them. I mean, look at them." I gestured to Michael and his parents, who were still deep in conversation. "I felt like I didn't belong."

Lying to Maria never works. Trust me. I know. Just getting out with the truth is always the better option.

"I get it Paige I really do." She then turned to look at me. "After what happened at the Jones's, anyone would be nervous. As a social worker I have had to tell your new guardians about that." 

At this I turned to stare at her. I didn't want to reopen those memories or revisit that situation, ever again. But before I could get a word in, Maria continued.

"I have told them to not bring it up for now. I want you to talk to them when you feel comfortable. As for earlier today, I won't tell them about that either. As they know it, you truly lost your bracelet. But I will follow up, and I don't want this behaviour to continue." Looking into my eyes, she continued. "Running away from issues doesn't solve them, it just takes the control away from you."

After ensuring I nodded, she gave me a pat on the shoulder. Then, we returned to the other three, who had finished making plans for that evening. 

"Well, now that all that's sorted, welcome to our home Paige!" Ms Lewis said, "I'm Lillian, and that," she gestured to Mr Ashford, "is Jacob. You've already met Michael, and the other boys are running a little late, so they'll introduce themselves when they get back. But first, let us show you around our house!" She gave me a sweet smile. 

This was a bit unnecessary, as I knew who they were from the adoption fair, in addition to the photos and letters, but it was still nice to be officially introduced. It helped make this feel more real- symbolism and all that. 

"Thank you Ms Lewis, and Mr Ashford, for welcoming me into your house. It is really lovely, and I do apologies for all the drama."

"It really is no problem Paige!" Mr Ashford said, "and please, call me Jacob. 'Mr Ashford' makes me sound really old!" He joked.

"Yes, there's no need for formality! Please call me Lillian." She gave me another welcoming smile. "Now, come on in!" 

She went in, followed by Jacob and Maria. Then, it was just me and Michael on the front porch. Before I said anything, he began speaking.

"Look, Paige, I don't know why you ran, although I saw you unclasp that bracelet on the walk up. I understand how strange this must feel, but believe me when I say we are all soo happy you are here. You can tell Mum and Dad anything, they really care about you, ever since they met you at the fair."

This was from the 'Teenager' entry in the 10 page "Foster Carers Guide to Welcoming a Child", which was given to all families after placements. I've read it end to end twice, at previous foster homes, and have some sections memorised. It was really  comforting to think that this family not only read the guide, but took the time to internalise and apply it's tips. 

Before I could say anything in response, he stepped to the side and jokingly put his hand out, welcoming me into his perfect house.

║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║║ (1378 words)

[ihatebnha]

Speakeasy AU but not necessarily set in the 1920s more like you’re a singer at a jazzy bar. There’s this little bar in my town that serve fondue and just has a great chill atmosphere to it. Singing this song just filling myself. Bakugou would be at the bar drinking whiskey(I see him as a dark liquor man b/c I also love it) and then we make eye contact. Slowly it feels like everyone else isn’t there and we’re in our own little world. That’s it I can’t put my thought into words anymore, sorry for my bad writing skill lol.

(song to go with courtesy @/immonole - here!)

I cannot… I can’t… honestly I’m gonna eat my first bc I can’t even express to you how much I, 1. love this idea, and 2. have thought about it before.

Back when I was like 13 and I was addicted to Beyoncé and f*fty shades of gray had just come out, this was like my go-to daydream about blorbos and this truly brought back how much I love it…

And literally with Bakugo, too. *moans*

Like at the same time he’s moping or with friends or trying to be alone, he’s also so enraptured by you and can’t keep take his eyes OFF of you and it’s so electric.. UGH I’M SORRY TO STEAL THIS FROM YOU, but… REEEEEE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN!!!

I always like to double it up with like… being blorbo’s (bakugo’s) waitress too and then needing to fill in for the singer for some reason… and all that pent up attraction that came with thinking you were cute initially comes out because you look even more divine singing, just… *scream*

(I also wrote half a fic once about this exact scenario that ended up with fucking in the bathroom…) YOU, my friend, have taste.

[lacusmoonrise]

POKEASK NICITIES

Well its that time again! Time to dust the shelves and pull out your trinkets, because it’s time to say some nice things about each other.

Instead of this being an ask meme, this is going to be a reply/reblog chain! So here’s how it works!

See this post? Like someone’s work? Well feel free to say something nice about someone! All you have to do is reblog OR reply to this post and tag at least one person and say something nice. It can be as long or as short as you want, or as many people as you want! Just be sure to tag them so they see it

And if you’re tagged on this post! Try to tag someone else and say something nice about them too! That way it’ll simply be an endless chain about people saying nice things about each other. You can also tag someone who’s been tagged before, but it’s still nice to do someone who hasn’t been!

Some common courtesies would be if its really long, try to put it under a readmore. And no tagging bigots, obviously.

With that out of the way, I’m going to start with some people of my own!

@ask-scrafty / @pokeasksending

Jazzy, you’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. You always put others before yourself, and I think that’s one of the best qualities you could ever find in someone. Not only are you incredibly kind, you are talented and very skilled, and have a great sense of humour. You’re a person I can easily hang out with and talk to, and I could for some time. Your art style is great for being stretchy and expressive, and you have impeccable character design. You do so much for others, I hope everyone can return the favour some day. You’re truly one of a kind, and I appreciate you very much. I love you man.

@crewel-intentions / @crewel-thoughts

Bird’s blog is certainly one that has gotten quite a bit of attention and for good reason! Not only are they a great artist, but they’re simply awesome to talk to. I’ve loved going back and forth with them, and intend on doing so more in the future. Seeing these older characters in the pokeask community has been a treat, and I hope we see Bird for quite some time.

@asktheisle / @mod-kuixs-contained-chaos

Ku has been fantastic to get to know lately! I really enjoy talking to them, and I’ve been following the isle blog when it was newer. I really enjoy Nat and Oscar as characters and I love their art style! It’s really cute and wavy, and expressive! They have really good character design sense, being able to make Darkrai, such a spooky pokemon, into something so cute and cuddly looking! I’m excited to see where this blog continues, along with Ku’s other endeavours!

[sugar-petals]

Cuddling With SuperM

↳ ❤︎ CARO’S NOTE: their concept is all about badassery i know but we’re dealing with seven angels so let’s talk about that shall we

warnings ⚠️ some light teasing, innuendo

length: 1.5k

taeyong

am i really telling you something ground-breaking with this:

so this guy’s truly adorable

turns into a baby what else is new

draws his knees to his chest and just enjoys the ride with his eyes closed

you can do whatever the hell you want

back rubs, head pats, foot massages, caressing the neck or underneath the chin which is particularly sweet

and a whole lot of tickling he’s kinda obsessed with this

excellent chef he is, taeyong enjoys preparing snacks for a set cuddling time or movie night

so what if this turns into feeding each other basically are you ready for that

this guy’s impossible face up close is hard to bear for the faint-hearted just mentioning that in passing here

because… he has that one yearning expression and his eye contact is very steady

bit of a duality here huh

but worry not because taeyong’s tiger inside is more of a cat actually, tyongkitty behavior guaranteed right there

he does do friendly head buts and yeah the eye contact is also a cat thing now that i think about it… it all makes sense now

ten, baekhyun, lucas and taemin are pretty cocky types of cuddlers, taeyong leads the more subdued fraction in super m

it’s the kind of cuddling that needs rainy weather and a cup of tea

ten

quality time right here

banter is always included ofc

or at least a lot of talk because with ten, conversation and cuddles go together

likes pets joining, three’s a party, a cat can always make a snuggly contribution

add a ball of wool to play around

like. a-you, a-me, and a cat right in between ya see

music is always playing in the background, always

ten’s body is very sensual… you can tell he’s a dancer by the way he’s adapting, how he’s feeling it, how he moves in general

the reflexes are just so different he has great feeling for what you wanna do next it’s his bodily intuition and he just goes along with it

what you gotta tell him though is to keep it lowkey with keeping his jazzy outfits on

a hoodie cuddles better than high fashion and spiked jackets

plus he looks adorably small in it so two birds with one stone

never forget ten is really tiny that sure makes a difference

reluctant little spoon, he keeps it face-to-face or sleeps on his back

ten is glad to be approached with hugs he’s not always doing the initiative

shy thailand angel ikr

but don’t complain if he farts because he absolutely will

goddammit chittaphon

kai

if it’s without a plushie something’s going wrong it always needs one

his favorite teddy’s gotta participate y’know he’s a social creature

in this home we don’t discriminate against plush bears

and yeah, his bear ear hoodie likewise he is sure to put it on

jongin tends to be rather taciturn because he wants to enjoy the body-to-body sensations

meaning, don’t interpret his frequent silence as awkwardness he’s just observing

is not above teasing… if his outfit is showing some skin he’ll invite you to touch the area

also enjoys you putting your hands under his sweater

he’s laughing like crazy and kicking his legs all giggly if you put your head underneath it and let it roam oh la la

yeah nini likes some wit to it for sure, and some steaminess in the mix it’s just a natural byproduct if we’re honest

dim the lights down low for this one…

but also light the candles alright

cuddling is more of a soft and steady thing there’s not much position changes going on

this is the couch not the dancefloor your honor

while we’re talking about that: jongin is a buff biatch my god

prep a water bottle to chug when you’re cuddling this guy is effortlessly hot

also know that kai will almost definitely snap a picture of you huddled together for the memory of it

baekhyun

unlike his memes, baekhyun’s cuddling behaviour is entirely predictable

will snuggle against your shoulder by default pretty much that’s his favorite area

stays glued there for two hours if you’re not busy

im not kidding

needless to say he needs a partner who can handle this level of clinginess

baekhyun can’t keep his hands to himself in general

neither can you

it’s groping x cuddling these two are a dead sure combination

keen to snuggle casually while he’s gaming, cross-legged on the ground with you massaging his back

likes to lay his head into your lap, too.

baekhug i mean back hug enthusiast. something inside his face has an inbuilt magnet that sucks him into the space between your collar bones

especially when you’re at the stove cooking

caution: love bites. lots of them. does this count as cuddles? probably. it’s not like he’s eating you or is he. oop—

what am i saying all he does is nibble alright

and oh yeah bring on the sweater weather. he can’t stay still in bed it’s gonna be a pillowfort building session though

you gotta exhaust him until he naps off lmao!

energizer bunny bf

mark

enjoys being fed watermelon during the process how else could it be

wait until this guy hears what harry styles’ watermelon sugar is all about his world will never be the same again

anyway

he’ll look so cute in his striped shirt and his round glasses awh

cuddling is his favorite way to show his trust and affection before all else

his favorite time to cuddle is before going to sleep

he usually hugs pillows so you can tell how clingy he winds up as

mark really sleeps and dreams better if you do that it has an astounding effect. cuddles are his perfect recharging if you will it’s just that he’s actually calming down through it whereas he can be nervous throughout the day so he needs that downtime

spooning is a given

what he enjoys the most about it is the warmth

markie easily gets cold sometimes he just needs that tune-up with you he’s like blink blink there goes my dose of daily heat beep beep

what the fuck

anyway again

talk about tune

just like ten he’s very talkative all the way verbal stimulation and mark lee just go together

if you compare him to taeyong there’s not much of a transformation going on mark lee on two legs is the same mark lee during cuddles it’s all copy paste

all in all a delectable experience, extremely cute and heart-melting, super m truly has a super mark

taemin

much like xuxi he has that permanent smile on his lips that tries to make you laugh

in fact taemin is hard to stop with his puns and his humor

ffs he is a true brat

taems can’t help but try to escalate this into a playfight every time

not that he doesn’t enjoy the calmer types of cuddling but he needs some action in the sack

enjoys praise along the way who are we kidding

the clothes you both cuddle in are very important alright, the fabric in particular

taemin keeps it expensive here it’s just the way he rolls

satin my dear

it’s just so satisfying to the touch

but also beware of his most lethal clothing choice which brings out his innate maknae charm the most

THE FLUFFY TURTLENECK

gyeahh

which he will use during special occasions to turn you into a cuddle monster ready to pounce him

give it up for shinee my loves they taught him well and sent him out to fluff up the world

what else is there okay we also gotta mention that cuddling consists of many little kisses here and there

taemin wants to get absolutely peppered

he is and stays a prince

lucas

ideal body type for cuddling except that it needs the right place, not the environment but the spot i mean, you can imagine

lucas can explode any smol-size couch or bed

don’t even think about trying to cuddle on regular chairs my god why would you live so dangerously

king size por favor

there is a lot to cuddle against it’s really a whole wonderland

those big ole thighs are practical cushions for anything really.

and his face is just so amicable it has to be kithed

his hands… his hands! you will feel maximum protection with those giant baby fingers around your hips i’m telling you

admittedly yukhei is hard to properly hug around the shoulders obviously that’s a drawback but hey his waist is lithe and tiny so hello there, very inviting

oh, that infectious smile.

serious cuddling: 0 — funny cuddles: over 9,000

and tasty cuddles because foodcas brings some fried rice every time oh yum

hates to go to work he really prioritizes you and cuddles go on for long long hours especially when you watch your favorite series

xuxi goes the extra mile, he will touch your hair a lot, just gently combing through it

and he doesn’t mind it when you do the same, he’s got the most angelic blonde locks after all

lu calls you beautiful all the time the cheesy mf is really pulling the standard compliment alright

cue jonas brothers sucker for you

ugh, boyfriend

mlist

[alchemabotana]

Horoscopes for the Full Moon in Capricorn June 24th 2021

Antonina “Little Thunder” Whaples

@whaplesantonina

If you enjoy these horoscopes, please consider supporting by voting for me as Ms. Health and Fitness 2021 for Muscle & Fitness Hers Magazine. You can vote once every 24 hours for free. If I win, I am donating the proceeds to herbal medicine school scholarships. To vote: https://mshealthandfitness.com/2021/antonina

Strawberry Moon - Pen & Ink Sketch by Antonina Whaples 

Horoscopes for the Full Moon in Capricorn June 24th 2021

Strawberry Moon

This lunar Opening in Capricorn June 24th 2021 is a cry of righteousness on the hilly planes of our spiritual landscapes. With this meregoat’s lunation, we will experience the inherent benefits of the systematic work we’ve done since 2018, with a special emphasis on decisions made to change personal system errors. The Gods of karma are smiling at our intentions and efforts, and rewards will be reaped by those who invest in self discovery. Our ritual work has been seen and blessed in the Summer Solstice shifts by the spirits of the Land. If you listen closely on this strawberry moon, you may just hear the call of the Cosmic tricksters as they work their mojo on the psychopomp of Earthly frustrations. When you’re feeling the pull of your natal oppositions this moon, tune into the tendons of your actions and see where the motion stems from. You may be relieved to find that the strings that once pulled your puppet are made of finer ancestral threads and your permission to be free was always there. When you check into the Cosmic Chess Board you may find something of a rubix cube has emerged in your new dimensional awarenesses. Instead of throwing yourself into the equations necessary to unlock this next level, revel in the achievements that brought you to this very moment. In a cosmic landscape where the processes of life and death have been hyper focused in our collective consciousness it feels rebellious to change the font and type settings of the ancestral notepads in our minds. Representing the waters that run deeply within the Earth, Capricorn’s fullness in the night sky will illuminate various Spirits whose presence have been well established, but not necessarily recognized. A sign of the power of mental affirmation, your thoughts and words will hold a special magic in this moment. Remember that your Guides, Spirit Animals, Power Totems, Good Medicine Ancestors, and the Spirits of the Land are excellent translators, and with Mercury about to pop out of retrograde (watch out for its shadow til June 30th), its final lesson is one of the personal spiritual variety. When what we seek is Truth & Justice, we allow our souls to attune to protective forces that help us autocorrect, fold into origami, and transcend with temperance.

Aries:

It’s no surprise that an old tune holds the secret code from that earlier recording of the master tape your memory has been searching for in the old filing system. In these moments you realize just how deep and densely tracked the highways and byways of your mental system are. You’re the original wayfinder of your own uncharted territory of the mind. This state of curiosity opens you up to spiritual healing that aligns your personal ideals and values with the actions a person desires to embody. When your actions meet your words, you tend to feel the most at home in the grander machinations of Spaceship Earth.

I’m not sure if I’m feeling funky or groovy, jazzy or bluesy? Does it jive with you? Is it feeling all right? What songs have got you buzzed on this full moon night? I’m enjoying the humour of the human experience, and I find ways to incorporate positive sources of enjoyment into my daily routine. I recognize that I can be sensitive to the frequencies I consume mentally, and I’m manifesting sources of comedic gold into my awareness. I can be my own clown, and enjoy an inside-inside joke anytime my mind decides that laughter is the best medicine. I love to laugh, and allow myself this simple pleasure in life. 

Taurus: 

Saturn in Aquarius square Uranus in Taurus has been creating a nuanced ping-pong table in your mind. This influence has been upon your daily life for sometime, and shall continue on through the rest of the year, with another exact square in December 2021. Accept the exactness of this T-squared engineer level measurement on the corners of your ascension blueprints. It’s ok to look at the world from your own angles, and you may be happily surprised by the moments that unfold joyously when you use your sharpness to hone the hedges of your self doubt. There’s a special magic in this moon for you, as the meregoat lights a part of the puzzle we wanted to get done anyway. This refocused energy gives you the internal resources to wait to make your next move, even though the ones you’ve planned are quite clever already, when mercury rx clears you’ll have fine tuned your intel.

I give in to the epic bonestructure of my cosmic face in the universe. I know that on these edges are where the hedgerows grow. In these sanctuaries of my boundaries, I give spaces for things I truly want to cultivate to be engendered. I find which spaceships are allowed to dock at my intergalactic port of plenty, and make sure that my shields are up when psychic frequencies intend to disrupt my qi. When I breathe, I give space to the energy around myself, and I feel permission to let go. When I let go, I allow myself to accept instructions in the forms of feelings and intuitions. I do not allow the opinions or voices of others to upset my internal compass. I feel centered and grounded and know I will continue to make positive choices and believe in myself. I choose to honor myself, and that makes me feel good. 

Gemini: 

You’ve been carefully funneling resources into a variety of investments. Financial and interpersonal projects and alliances deepen, although it is not a time to throw caution to the wind. Caution and planning is what has allowed you to learn to trust the ebb and flow of the cosmic money winds, and you’re trying to siphon your own renewable sources, not steal from the Gods. When you place yourself in alignment with your internal resources, you can learn to embody compassion to provide yourself when feelings of self worth or insecurities prod you to feel guilty about the ways you regenerate. Let your conscience be your guide, and allow others to do the same. The path of self acceptance is most rich for you at this juncture, and it would be wise to use the Full moon to clear the psychic debris of your aura through ritual bathing, sound healing, and aromatics. 

I can sometimes turn my mirrors askance to the equations I cannot seem to readily solve. But, in doing so I lose reflections that empower me. I accept that it's time to look at some of those patterns again and see if they even deserve a place on the chalkboard of my mind. When I make space to use my memory card to run programs that make me have feelings I actually enjoy, I look into my secret box of fantasies and realize I may have already realized many of those experiences. In these moments of clarity, I hold a space for myself to enjoy what I may not have allowed myself to in the past. In this way, I take back my energy and transform myself in the present. 

Cancer:

In this moon you are finally able to feel that rebound-snap! Ka-bow! sh-zing! of Mars’ exit from your cozy airbnb. You’re reminded that you should be charging premiums for your ability to stay level-headed when the Gods and Goddesses war in the Heavens, and on Earth. You enjoy a good ritual bath, but to stay out of hot waters, this crab needs a cool-down. This Capricorn Moon is just what the doctor ordered, and something about the good medicine flowing through you can’t help but seep into certain streams where the mojo is most needed. This is an excellent time for you to pause in your personal space and take a moment to feel the beauty of your domain.

My soundtrack of life is a high luxury five star bathhouse of the Spirits. I’ve been Spirited Away to lands of emotional remembrance. The roots of my ancestors have spoken to me, and I have heard their instructions. I need not fear the judgments of others, because I am a sacred part of creation. I will not allow negative voices to infiltrate my consciousness, but instead, I will choose to believe that my work has been blessed by the Cosmic Super Computer and shall continue to have its content prioritized. In this space of trust, I allow myself to turn my consciousness to what I’ve relegated as “frivolous artistic pursuits”. I find the time and space to make something just because. When I experience this energy releasing through the act of creation, I realize why it mattered in the first place. 

Leo: 

The grass is pretty green in your patch. Both career aspirations and spiritual wealth appear to be presenting itself to you in all new fashions. You may literally be feeling called to new ways to express yourself externally, and this exploration of your presentation to the world helps you heal. You’ve been feeling called to healing in general, feeling like it may be a good time to start a new way of moving, or to add a healing ritual to your daily experience. If you happen to use stone medicine, Turquoise will be especially healing in nature during the transit of Mars through Leo, and can be just the cooling mechanism you need to keep your Roar without the bite.

Sometimes I’m just feeling high octane. When I find the right stomping grounds to release my charge I am able to do so safely through friendly communication strategies, good topics of conversation, interesting objects within my spacial periphery, and calming colors. It’s ok to turn the volume all the way up, but when the outside world adjusts its tone to match, I can switch to a different groove. I’m in awe of my co-creative power to engage my environment and use my influence therein to bring forth collective healing experiences.

Virgo: 

Something about this moon in Capricorn feels familiar to you, and perhaps it's the quiet watch you’ve held & the prayers of your heart being answered. Your physical being is finding ways to heal through your insights to your movements in daily life. As your mind/body/spirit awareness grows, you find new ways of expressing yourself. This ability to shift and transform might seem like deja vu, but it's your memories finding their way to the surface. When our minds give us abstract feelings and visions, we can move mountainous emotions safely within our systems, without harming ourselves or others. Breathe deeply and find a place to scream loudly if you need that release.

I have crossed some barren deserts, but I have not died of thirst. I am blessed with the life I have co-created in the spiritual planes of my intelligent manifestations. My awareness of the barren corners of life have given me compassionate reflective capacity and a recognition of my gifts by those whose opinions matter to me. I am enjoying the small moments of joy and call them precious to me. I forgive myself for any moments where I’ve expected too much of myself while I was grieving a loss. My heart is tender, and my spirit gentle. I wish to live in harmony with myself and others. 

Libra:

This Capricorn moon you are more annoyed than usual at laundry, other people’s messes, and scapegoating. Your sensitivity to physical objects is heightened under this Full Moon and it may feel overwhelming to be in the midst of the messes others leave for you to clean up. It’s more than frustrating when you acknowledge how your time/energy has been appropriated. Instead of letting loose the fire brigade when the bridge seems to be burning, walk away from the moments today that feel like a temptation. Make sure to find objects that reflect healthy energy back to you, and sit amidst a tiny oasis of your creation, and pay no attention to chaos of the Gods. You deserve a Full Battery, and the spirits are conspiring to recharge your battery banks this lunation.

I gather strength from my service to my community. When I have been unbalanced in the past, I allow my weight to ground in all directions through the sacred communions of my own secret tabernacles of the human experience. I make new covenants with myself and the way I speak and treat myself, so that I no longer need to suffer under the weight of the past. I don’t need to feel any guilt in laying down my load, and don’t need any permission to do so. When I feel safe, I will allow those who I trust to provide the respite necessary for me to heal my visions of my life and expand into an abundant awareness of how truly loved I am for being myself, and how needed my cosmic ray of intellect is to this world. 

Scorpio:

Known for your secrets and depth, you’ve been hiding like the Cosmic Sphinx between the pillars of the temple gates. You’ve been allowed to watch the clashes of the Giants unscathed, and your insight will outlast this passing phase of planetary tensions. You’ve been sending alien text messages to Neptune’s work phone, and the intel has been legit. Your attraction to Art, Color, Shape, Form, Music, and Theatre are encouraging you to make insightful investments in your own dreams. This Full Moon beckons you to create with abandon and let the waves of inspiration quench your desire for pleasure. 

I feel like the whole choir singing in one unison. I weave through the soundwaves, key changes, and rhythm switch-ups as I keep time with the sacred union of celestial sounds. I am aware that the tunes of the planet herself offer me a sacred respite from the cacophony of the cosmic movements. When I ground myself into the soothing waters of my spiritual essence I define for myself how my energy is used for the goodness of my own healing. 

Sagittarius: 

It feels like you’ve been getting along pretty well with the planetary forces, and everyone secretly enjoys the protection that your bow provides for the tribe. You may be feeling a bit cramped in the yellow submarine of the pandemic, dare we say you could have cabin fever? The Trines, Sextiles, and satellite signals of the skies indicate that you can find a special type of relief from the feelings of squished with mandalas, botanical drawings, and spirographs. When you take the time to let your mind journey in these ways, it lets your hunter’s mind relax for the next best chance. And no worries, you’ve got plenty of chances ahead, Sagittarius. 

Life is good. I do my hair toss, check my nails - baby how you doing? Hey, life is good. He’s got his eye on the sparrow and I guess that’s me? I’m playing with the chemistry... cause that’s how I be? When I look into the mirror I see a babe, a real dude of the neighborhood - my sister, mothers, daddy, and the community. I guess when I see you, I see me. And when I’m in that light in me, and you are in that light in you. There is only one of us: namaste my bissssssch 

Capricorn: 

This Full Moon in Capricorn you endeavour to ask outloud: “What Giant’s Bones Have We Built Ourselves Upon?” Your Full Lunation is opposing the Sun in Cancer, shining a shadow on our collective exoskeleton. This Full Moon feels like an archeological discovery when proverbial bones rattle out of the closet to give us a hoodoo prayer’s chance for self liberation. You’ve been waiting for a moment like this, and it's OK if you’re not ready to take that leap of faith. But should you choose, the moon lights up an emotional healing around the concept of “home”. You really want to know if you’re believing the right thing from one moment to the next, but keeping your head out of the secret sauce is key to giving your subconscious the space it needs right now to send out signals to the future. Soon enough you’ll be receiving confirmations of cosmic flavors right into your spiritual inbox.

I called Stephen Hawking and he called me back. My voicemail said: “Hey friend. I know this is a hard time on planet earth. I think people are doing better than they believe they are. It’s hard to be a human. I remember the constraints of the body, and I understand when you want to just fly away somewhere. I believe in you. Capricorns get a bad rap sometimes. I can see your progress, and I hope you take the time to see it too. By the way, we always have the time to say how much we matter to each other. Thanks for being, and enjoy this life, you deserve it”. 

Aquarius: 

There have been a lot of light bulbs going off in your spiritual laboratory. This Full Moon when the light shifts, your awareness of the dimensionality of the objects and purpose of your life is heightened. You may be experiencing some grief and loss around feelings of closeness with others. Recently you’ve been asked to hold a deep stability for the collective’s growth. Your actions haven’t gone unnoticed, and you’ve been receiving opportunities for advancement in your career. However, you are feeling uncomfortable with commitment while under a deep pressure to perform. These archetypal struggles are up for healing on the altar of the Full Moon. Your magic fairy dust works the best when you sprinkle it on yourself. You are learning the ways of Illuminated Prosperity.

My voice is a symphony of grace within a cacophony of sound. I breathe in the knowledge that my very existence is a miracle of my own embracing. I find myself at home in my surroundings and know I belong. Whoever “They” are, I know I can be myself around “Them”. I trust that my instincts are perfected beyond doubt. I’ve taken all the tests and quizzes and my insights are showing precision on whichever experiments have survived my tests of time and spirit. When I tune into my highest self it's because I’m recognizing my ability to be in that place no matter what surrounds me. Even when my circumstances deny me, I do not deny myself. I believe that I am worthy of the life I am living, and anticipate my surroundings shifting to match the unique vibrational fingerprint that I offer planet Earth. 

Pisces: 

You’ve been holding down some major spiritual territory during the recent seasonal shifts. The light of the meregoat acts as a lighthouse beacon for the whales and whistleblowers of your waters. You’re not particularly interested in that island, and prefer to spend this Lunation in Capricorn Gardening, Cleaning Out the Car, Writing about your art, Feeding the fairies, Calling in positivity, Releasing the Past, Testing New Grounds, and let’s just say it: looking pretty guuuuuuud while doing it. So good. You might want to tune into some whale call noises, or turn on a beachy video. The seas are definitely calling your name, and your inner explorer could watch Moana a few times through the eyes of the grandmother, the eyes of Moana, and the eyes of Te Fiti. 

I am a sound rising on the waves of creation. I turn my eyes to the heavens and I’m in the medicine nation. I forgive myself for all my wavering, I know my power lies in my cravings. I can wish upon the starry skies, and watch the birds where e’er they fly. I’m curious to know the names of all the fairies, and their games. I want to know what games I’ll win when I’m laughing with a cheshire grin. I know what gods have sent me here, I know which path I’m meant to clear. And when the waters run to quickly, or the bushes get too prickly - I can lay my spirit down. My minds’a palace, my head a crown. You could call me king or queen, but my magics’still unseen. I’m so much bigger than my titles, or whichever ones I didn’t get. I’ve given all at my recitals, and I’m my own best bet. 

[turning-the-frigging-frogs-gay]

Sanders sides dance school au because I can

(This dance school does most, if not all dance styles, and most of the students just do it as a hobby, it isn’t like a boarding ballet school)

Patton Hart

The cinnamon roll who the others must protect at all costs

Not the best dancer technically but he has good rhythm and amazing performance and personality- he still loves dance so much, and is improving every day

Has been here the longest, since he was a toddler

Is tiny and looks so short compared to everyone else on stage

Has made so many friendships and cares about his fellow dancers so much, loves dancing as a team

Loves wearing tutus

If the dance has a lift, he’s nearly always the one who’s lifted because he’s super light and trusts the others so much

A lot of the time on stage he can’t stop laughing because he’s just so happy to be performing

Loves every style of dance so much- don’t make him choose a favourite!

Is extremely unlucky when it comes to quick costume changes, almost always has a back-to-back in shows, Virgil and Remus don’t do as many dances so are always prepared backstage with his next costume

Brings a teddy bear to the backstage dressing room, no one judges him

Loves partnered dances, especially with Janus

Doesn’t score that high on exams, just sees them as a bit of fun and loves hanging out with everyone during the extra practice lessons

Always brings snacks for everyone while they wait between classes

Loves all the glitter and costumes, gets very excited when it comes to showtime

Always helps with the younger kids on stage. They often get bored while waiting for their dances so he plays with them while having a mental breakdown on the inside

Compiles all the show photos into a scrapbook and invites everyone over to his house to rewatch the show footage. Will remember the shows for the rest of his goddamn life.

Logan Berry

Braincell of the group

The only one with his shit together

Technically perfect dancer but struggles with performance/expression sometimes

Always brings extras of everything to shows because he knows people will forget/lose stuff

Knows all of his routines off the top of his head, sometimes even teaches everyone else

Memorises the running order of every show and makes spreadsheets to show who’s in which dance, people make fun of him for it slightly at first but they’re actually really helpful

If you have a question about literally anything- choreography, costumes, show timings, he will know

Does ridiculously fast tap solos and always gets the rhythm 100% perfect

Whenever the dancers have to come on stage in a line, there’s an agreement that Logan always leads because he’s often the only one who knows when to come on

Very determined to succeed in his exams, prepares extensively. the only time he will show emotion is if he thinks something has gone wrong. Usually gets near perfect marks in everything but performance

After each show he rewatches the footage and makes notes on everything he did wrong to improve for next time

Struggles with emotional stuff but he truly does see the dance school as a second home and dancing as far more than just a hobby

Roman Kingsley

Probably the best dancer in the school, wants to dance professionally someday

Exceedingly hard-working, technically flawless, amazing performance, always gives 100%

Has glitter and hairspray with him everywhere he goes

Loves every dance style but if he had to choose a favourite he’d probably go for ballet because he loves how graceful it is and the acting involved

Also does musical theatre and has an amazing singing voice

Extremely overdramatic, and just loves how extra the whole thing is, especially show costumes

Does so many classes he practically lives at the dance school

Can’t possibly be tired or worn out because he loves dance so much

Is in practically half the dances in every show but somehow manages it

Sings along to every song he dances to, even if it isn’t a musical theatre number

Got on his knees and begged the musical theatre teacher to do Hamilton. Did not succeed because swearing and there’s little kids in the dance school. However he did get away with Dear Evan Hansen- a contemporary routine to Waving Through a Window

Works very hard for his exams and it always pays off

Remus Kingsley

Chaos incarnated.

What’s a routine, he’s just here to vibe

Has come on stage late more times than you can count, sometimes because he’s lost part of his costume, other times because he genuinely forgot when his dance was

Technical disaster but is entertaining to watch

Is so chaotic in class, rarely listens, pisses the teachers off to no end- Roman often has to go over the routines with him afterwards because he doesn’t retain any of the steps

Has forgotten the dance while onstage multiple times but the audience rarely notice because he doesn’t fit with what everyone else is doing anyway

Does twin duets with Roman sometimes

Just dances for a bit of fun and to make friends- he knows he probably won’t get a career in dance but is so proud of his brother and supports him all the way

His favourite is Irish Riverdancing

“Ugghgh tech rehearsal is sooooooo boooriiiing”

Relies on Logan to know what the hell is going on

Roman also knows his routines better than he does. Sometimes, if Remus is in a dance but Roman isn’t, Roman will wear his costume and fill in for him

Can actually do the technique on the rare occasion that he tries

Usually freaks the hell out on exam days as he has done zero practice and gives every excuse not to do it. Somehow passes every time

Spends the entirety of tech rehearsal looking around for the filming cameras so he can stare straight into them and freak people out

Somehow manages to ladder every single goddamn pair of tights he wears

Janus Sanders

Charming with excellent performance skills

Says the costumes are too extravagant but secretly he loves all the glitter and fancy stuff

Loves ballroom dancing, him and Roman taught Patton to waltz and now he is a regular at the ballroom classes

Also loves the more jazzy dances and some of the tap ones

Doesn’t really pay much attention in class but somehow gets the routines spot on

Is usually the one to do everyone’s stage makeup

Also loves the musical theatre routines, him and Patton are usually the side characters while Roman is the lead

Knows how to razzle dazzle an audience, has good technique too

Also has potential for a career in dance but he isn’t sure

Encourages his fellow dancers to drink water and take breaks if needed

Loves any dance with a prop so he can be extra

Also loves partner dances, especially since Patton joined ballroom

Is pretty chill about exams, charms the examiner with his performance skills and usually gets great results

Orders pizza for everyone after the shows, runs to the theatre foyer in full costume and makeup to meet the delivery person

Sneaks a TV into the dressing room and somehow makes it so they can watch what’s going on onstage. No one knows how he got it there and honestly they’re afraid to ask.

Virgil Storm

Doesn’t know why he’s here half the time

Has a love-hate relationship with dance

Often has panic attacks backstage but his friends are always there to support him

Doesn’t stop going on about how he thinks the routines are “cringey” but secretly loves performing and acting

Loves more modern dance styles like commercial

Overthinks everything a lot

Doesn’t take many exams but when he does he gets very nervous

In class he tends to do the routines half-heartedly but will go full out with the performance onstage. Never rewatches the footage or looks at the photos but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t look back upon those show memories with extreme fondness

Extra info

Roman, Remus and Logan are 16

Janus, Virgil and Patton are 15

Heights from tallest to shortest-

Roman

Remus

Logan

Janus

Virgil

Patton (shortest by far)

Ranking of who does the most classes:

Roman

Patton and Janus

Logan

Remus

Virgil

At shows all 6 of them share a small dressing room and look after each other

Everyone goes shopping in town between matinee and evening performances in full makeup, they get the craziest looks but they don’t care

For partnered dances the usual pairings are Patton and Janus, Logan and Roman, Virgil and Remus (do whatever you will with that information)

I may develop this au in the future and possibly write something if my writers block will ever end

Also if any other fanders do dance, feel free to tag yourselves! (I’m Patton and Logan)

Edit: if you like the idea of this au and are interested in reading it as a (probably terrible) fic, you can do so here (tumblr) or here (ao3). If you do check it out let me know what you think!!

[rachusdwarfus]

fan review of “positions” by ariana grande

these are all just my own opinions! i’m not a professional or a critic, just putting my thoughts out there about this new project.

shut up: this song was a delight for my ears. the strings, oh the strings. lyrically, we have heard this from ariana before—the token song about being a public figure. i don’t mind this theme too much but i think the real joy in this song is how it sounds. i adore the almost-parisian feel to it with a soulful cinematic finale. 8/10

34+35: a tongue-and-cheek song that we’ve definitely heard lyrics-wise before, but melodically it’s quite a delight. it’s light and blissful but doesn’t really say all that much. 6/10

motive: i honestly really like the retro feel to this song. the instrumental is giving me early 2000s vibes. i think the concept is interesting—it tells us a story of her skepticism in relationships being who she is and having gone through what she has. 6/10

just like magic: just ethereal. a day in the life with an insight into her process, and also her fatigue. the lyrics give you a sense of the almost robotic nature of routine in her world, but the upsides being her abilities to create. 7/10

off the table: i adore how lyrically honest this song is. the vulnerability that comes with the admission of her fears about finding love after tragedy. it gives you an insight into her insecurities about whether she’ll ever find the ending she wants. you really get the sense that her and abel, who represents her lover, seeking reassurance from each other in a beautiful building finale. and the STRINGS. 8/10

six thirty: a song on the simpler side, but another melodic delight. it feels a little more stripped back and insecure, which is what i love about a lot of the writing in this album. i can’t say i understand the lyrics of the chorus or feel like they’re very cohesive, but i’m loving the verses.  7/10

safety net: the lyrics in this song tell a real story of the anxiety that comes with healing with a new love. she’s been hurt before, and she’s scared to fall again. i love “is it real this time or is it in my head” as a throwback to her song ‘in my head’. for me, melodically, it’s not as strong as some other tracks but i really admire this song lyrically. 7/10

my hair: truly a standout on this album. the experimentation with genre is something i’ve been craving from ariana, and a jazz-style track is so so wonderful to hear. i love the themes of her hair as her protective armour, something under constant scrutiny and attentive that almost defines her as a public figure. her inviting her lover to run his hands through her hair is inviting him into her life in a more intimate way, and opening up that barrier she’s built up. 10/10

nasty: a simplistic song—a pleasant listen and i know a fan favourite but for me, it fades a little into the background compared to some of the other tracks. 6/10

west side: probably the most forgettable song on the album. i can’t fathom why it’s called ‘west side’, to me this title has themes of social class and circumstance and i can’t help but feel that she is somewhat aestheticising this theme. 4/10

love language: this song is a riot to listen to—it’s so melodically interesting and so fun. it is a definite ear worm but one that strays from traditional pop music patterns in favour for a unique jazzy and r&b feel. 9/10

positions: this song is a sturdy grower—i wouldn’t say by any stretch that it’s the strongest track on the album, but it’s definitely the most palatable and in that sense i understand why it was the lead single. i don’t really think it should have a place as the title track, and it’s one of the most lyrically simple on the album, but a pleasant listen nonetheless. 5/10

obvious: a carefree and melodically sweet bop. it shows a side of ariana we’ve seen more of—idealistic, romantic and emotional and maybe somewhat unrealistic. 7/10

pov: an absolutely stunning end to the album. i am truly in love with this song. it leaves you feeling like she’s taking a turn for the better after the pain of her past. the acknowledgement that she should love herself rings true for many a listener. and melody-wise—god knows i LOVE a minor chord in a major song. the strong high notes and harmonies give me shivers and the strings make my heart swell. 10/10

OVERALL:

in truth i was quite skeptical in the lead up to this album. from hearing the fun, albeit plain lead single i was concerned that this record would be a return to dangerous woman form of generic meaningless songs about love, sex and relationships. however, having listened to it through and taking in each song and what they’re saying, i’ve realised that although this album’s theme is love and sex, it’s specifically about her healing process within this relationship. this entire album is a love letter to her new love—complete with admissions of fear, neediness, anxiety and guilt. it’s a cohesive journey of her adoration for this man, and the terror that comes with the possibility of finding something beautiful and hoping it won���t be taken from you. she has been through so much pain, and has addressed this in detail in previous music. this project takes time for her to bask in the love she’s found, as well as heal and learn to love again.

i feel as though some of the songs tend to blend into one another sonically, although i’m giving this a pass as my untrained ears aren’t familiar with r&b and not yet very good at discerning the minutia of this genre. I greatly appreciate ariana straying from pop and going into more explorative grounds. i definitely think her writing style is quite bizarre, and can often come across quite shallow (and sometimes it is) but upon further listening, you can glean a lot from her strange, bumbling, ungrammatical way of singing. i think it’s a valid form of self expression—you don’t need to write out long form pretty lines in the queen’s english to write a good song. i love how throughout the tracks, she includes references to her previous songs that give you a sense of how her journey now is still affected by then, but also how she is growing.

i think as a project, this album is far more cohesive and put-together than sweetener. it has a consistent theme throughout, and explores a personal journey that is sweet and touching to listen to. i think the thank u, next album still takes the crown for me as ariana’s best project to date, but positions the album is a strong showcase of her vocal prowess, her journey into more experimental sounds, and the war of feelings in her heart that she wears out on her oversized sleeve.