#it’s what I DO

[milfsloverblog]

Secret Benefits (part 4)

Previous part here

Sugar mommy!Larissa Weems x fem!reader

A/N: Guess who’s back, back again. I know, I know. It’s been a while. Life has been a crazy ride in the last couple of months and I just didn’t have the heart to be writing anything. But I thought it’d be nice to gift you this chapter as a new year present. Have fun! ps: this contains ANGST. You’ve been warned. Enjoy <3

You could tell that The Paragon was another one of those ridiculously expensive restaurants as soon as you set foot inside. High ceilings, heavy velvet curtains hanging by the windows, paintings on the walls.

You took a deep breath and slid your hand into Larissa’s, intertwining your fingers with hers. It felt reassuring, feeling her skin against yours and knowing that she was there with you. Or that you were there with her.

A waiter quickly walked your way, flashing the two of you a bright smile before leading you to a table. You felt a couple of stares as you walked past the other seated people and realised what they were probably thinking about. A young woman with an older one, holding hands. You hadn’t even asked Larissa if this was okay - holding her hand in public. Holding hands like a couple would. That thought made you pull your hand away from Larissa’s as if you’d been burnt, much to Larissa’s dismay.

You sat down at the table and Larissa followed suit, sitting down in front of you. The older woman smiled when you didn’t bother opening the menu that had been handed to you by the waiter, knowing full well she’d be picking whatever you’d be eating.

Good girl, she thought as her blue eyes bore into yours before dropping to the menu in her hands.

Seared scallops with a saffron sauce as a main and a white chocolate and raspberry semifredo for dessert, that’s what she had picked for you that night.

Dinner went like it did last time, Larissa was always more willing to listen to you talking about your life rather than share about hers.

The tall woman chuckled softly when you pushed some semifredo in your mouth, making you look at her.

“What?”

“You have some-“ Larissa didn’t finish her sentence, choosing instead to reach out and wipe the bit of cream from the corner of your mouth with her thumb.

Almost instinctively, your lips parted. Larissa’s breath hitched, her heart doing that damn fluttering thing in her chest. You looked so beautiful, she thought. So open to her, so inviting.

Without thinking about it twice, she pushed the tip of her finger between your parted lips. And without thinking about it twice, your tongue licked the pad of her thumb clean.

A shiver ran down Larissa’s spine and she pulled her hand away from your lips, leaving you with your mouth half open and a questioning look on your face.

“Larissa, I-“ you started apologising but the older woman cut you off, raising her hand to catch the waiter’s attention.

You stayed quiet as she paid the bill, following when she stood up and buttoned up her blazer. You weren’t sure what you had done exactly to warrant her whole demeanour to change, but it was clear that you had messed up.

She was still silent when you sat down by her side in the car, seemingly lost in her own thoughts as she drove away from the restaurant.

Larissa was as lost as you were, thousands of thoughts rushing through her mind as she remembered everything that had happened that day. This was nothing more than a beneficial agreement - she found herself thinking for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day.

She was still quiet by the time she dropped you off at your place, reaching for the envelope inside the glove compartment and carefully placing it on your lap.

“Larissa, you don’t have to-“

“I know. But that’s what we agreed on, I’m paying you for your time.”

You gave a slight nod and pushed the envelope inside your handbag.

“Well,” you started, turning a little to face Larissa who kept her gaze outside the windshield. “Thank you for today.”

The older woman nodded and gently squeezed your knee without looking at you.

For a second you wondered if that was it, if this was the last time you’d see her. And then it hit you, the sudden urge to lunge at her and pull her into a kiss. Maybe it would wipe the worry off her pretty blue eyes and the pout off her crimson lips. But you didn’t kiss her, choosing instead to mutter a quiet “goodnight” before getting out of the car.

You didn’t see Larissa again after that night, at least not for a while. She didn’t contact you anymore, not even a single text to ask how you were doing. And maybe, you thought, maybe that was for the best. Sure, money was tight again but…

“Fuck!” You dropped the letter on your coffee table. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You were fucked.

“What do you mean you don’t do instalments?!” You snapped at the woman on the other side of the phone that was pressed to your ear. “Yes, yes I get that! I get that it’s my fault but-“ you groaned when the woman cut you off again to remind you for the third time that you had missed part of the payment for your college fees and you had to pay for the remaining amount as soon as possible.

“For god’s sake, I’m a college student! Where do you think I’ll find two thousand dollars before Friday?! No, no my parents won’t-“ you pinched the bridge of your nose and took a deep breath. It was clear that the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, so you thanked the woman for her time and hung up.

You were fucked.

Asking your parents for help was useless, you already knew that. Maybe you could pick up a few more shifts at the bar but that meant you’d have to skip some classes and even then you would never gather that much money in a few days. And then it hit you. There was someone in your life who did have that kind of money.

You sighed loudly and sat down on the couch, staring at the phone that was still in your hand. You couldn’t just text Larissa asking her for two grand, not after you hadn’t talked to each other in weeks. No, you’d have to come up with a plan. And so you did.

It was a fairly simple plan. You texted Larissa asking how she was doing and chatting for a while before you offered to see each other. “A drink at my place,” you said. You knew that Larissa was attracted to you, a blind person could have told you that. Were you attracted to her though? You shook your head to get rid of the thought. It didn’t matter if you were attracted or not, all that mattered was that she was.

She had arrived at your place that evening with a bottle of Chardonnay. “I hate showing up empty-handed.” She’d told you when you said you had a couple of red wine bottles in the cupboard.

Larissa was a vision, as always. A beige-coloured coat that she shrugged off her shoulders to reveal a tight dress of the exact same beige fabric. Her hair was tied in one of those intricate updos, like the ones you’d seen in old movies, and her lips painted a darker shade of red. She was a vision.

“Make yourself comfortable, please.” You smiled and gestured towards the sofa. After a few seconds of hesitation, you opted to open a bottle of red. You had a feeling Larissa had a preference for it.

“There,” You said, placing the two glasses on the coffee table and sitting down next to the older woman. “Had a good day at work?”

“I did, it could have been worse.” Larissa gently clinked her glass against yours and took a swig of wine. She never shared much about her work which only made you more curious.

She asked about your day and you told her about it, avoiding mentioning the astronomical bill you had to pay.

“I’m glad you could come tonight.” You smiled and took a sip.

“I’m glad you invited me, I know it’s not an easy thing to let people into our space.”

“You’re right, but I trust you.“ How ironic. “It’s not much, but it’s home.” You added, looking around your living room.

Larissa hummed and took another sip of wine, uncrossing her legs and crossing them again.

“Do you live in a house?” You asked, hoping to learn more about her.

“I…No, it’s a bit complicated. I have my own apartments at work.” Larissa explained, visibly ill at ease.

“It’s fine, I know you don’t like sharing about your private life.” You pushed a small smile and carefully placed your hand on Larissa’s leg, right above her knee where the soft fabric of her dress gave way to her alabaster skin.

“Thank you,” Larissa whispered, adjusting herself so she could look at you.

You felt bad at the thought of what you were about to do. Your stomach twisting in your belly as Larissa’s gaze bore into yours. You liked her. You couldn’t do this.

Almost as a reflex you lifted your hand and emptied your drink to give yourself more courage.

“May I kiss you?” It left your lips without you even thinking about it.

Larissa’s eyes widened to the point where she looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a fast-approaching car.

Well, that did not go as you had expected.

The silence was almost too unbearable so you cleared your throat and moved to get up from the couch, hoping to pour yourself another glass of wine when slender fingers wrapped around your forearm and yanked you back down. Next thing you knew Larissa’s lips were crashing against yours, her right hand finding purchase on your cheek and pulling you impossibly closer.

“Yes,” she whispered out of breath when she eventually pulled away from you, her red lipstick smudged around her mouth up to the tip of her nose. “Yes, you may kiss me. And you may not stop.”

Larissa couldn’t help but notice the way your pupils dilated in reaction to her words. So you did want her. You wanted her like she wanted you and that made the woman’s heart swell in her chest.

“Kiss me again.” A demand that you couldn’t say no to, really. And so you kissed her again. And again. And again. Until she pulled you so you’d straddle her thighs and her lips eventually left yours, busying themselves on leaving red marks along your jaw and down your neck.

“Larissa-“ it came out as a strangled cry, your fingertips gently tugging on the woman’s hair and messing up her neat updo.

“Stop me if I go too far.” She whispered against your skin as her hands slipped under your dress to caress your thighs.

You weren’t sure if this was still part of your plan. Sure, you had hoped to seduce her thinking it might make her more susceptible to lend you the money but maybe this was actually going too far.

“I need two grand-“ it was out of your mouth in less than a second and Larissa’s hand instantly stilled their movements.

“What ?” She huffed in disbelief.

“I-I need two grand for a bill, but I’ll pay you back! I swear!”

Larissa huffed again and shook her head, her hands moving to her hair in an attempt to fix her updo - or perhaps to ground herself, you weren’t sure.

“This is why you called me here, isn’t it?”

You quickly stood up from the woman’s thighs and fixed your dress.

“No! Of course not-“ you swallowed thickly as she rose to her full height and towered over you.

Larissa’s face was flushed and you could tell it wasn’t the same flush as a few minutes before. No, this time she was furious.

“Larissa, Listen-“ You tried, taking a step back and watching her take one forward.

“No!” She growled with a severity that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. “It’s your turn to listen.”

You took another step back as she took one closer, then another one, until she had you trapped against the fridge.

“You lied to me,” she said. “You made me come here, made me believe that you wanted to spend time with me. But all you care about is my money, isn’t it?” Larissa hissed, baring her teeth like a rabid dog. “You would sell your body like some cheap whore on the street.”

“And you would buy it!” You snapped, unable to let her bite you without biting her back.

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. I wouldn’t. I don’t mind paying for your time, your company. But this? No. It would feel like using you, and I already feel guilty enough as it is. Although you obviously don’t mind using me.” Larissa took a step back and reached inside her handbag, pulling out her chequebook and opening it.

“What are you-“ you started, only to be cut off by the older woman.

“I care.” Larissa simply said as she wrote the cheque. “And I thought-“ she slightly shook her head and handed you the cheque. Two thousand dollars. “Yes, I thought.” She repeated before giving a nod and putting her beige coat back on.

“Larissa,” you tried, gently wrapping your hand around her bicep.

“No,” she shook her head again and pulled away. “You’ve played me. You won’t see me again, sweetling.” It was said without any animosity. Instead, you found that her blue eyes were filled with melancholy as if she had been through this before and life was just repeating itself.

I’m sorry, you wanted to say, I’m sorry I lied to you and manipulated you. And I’m sorry to be hurting you.

You wanted to rip the cheque into pieces, to show her that it didn’t matter. But it did. You needed the money or you’d be kicked out of college. But, Larissa. Larissa, Larissa, Larissa. Larissa and her melancholy-filled eyes. I’m not like the ones who’ve hurt you before, you wanted to shout. But you were. Perhaps you were even worse than them.

Larissa and her melancholy-filled eyes.

Larissa and her warmth-filled laugh.

Larissa and her love-filled kisses.

Love-filled kisses.

Oh, god.

Of course.

You hadn’t realised it. Not before that moment. Larissa didn’t just like you. She had feelings for you.

“Larissa!” You exclaimed, snapping out of your thoughts only to find your apartment empty.

She was gone.

You were fucked.

————————————————————————

Taglist: @raspburrythief @weemssapphic @readingtheentrails @larissaoftarthweems @principal-weems09 @kimiinou @winterfireblond @im-a-carnivorous-plant @geekyarmorel @h-doodles @azu-zu @barbarasstar @witchesmortuary @m1lflov3rrr @dumbasslesbi @crow-raven-crow @fridays-coven @lilfartbox1 @shawncantwrite @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @gwens0girl @aemilia19 @the-bagel24 @lvinhs @thefutureisus2020 @gela123 @a-queen-and-her-throne @rando-mango @wheresmyboo @my-silver-spring @hillary-nicks @ablsk @natasha29romanoff @tallvampirelady12 @canyoufeelmyheartsayinghi @i-love-nerdy-stuff @1-800-milfdilf @scarlettssub @jasperobsidian-blog @i-write-sometimes-maybe @brienne-the-brave @slytherinthepms @non-binary-frogking @wife-of-gwendolinechristie @anjo-iludidoefudido @imnotafruitt @opheliauniverse

[rambler-in-limbo]

Dresses belong on big hairy men

Also Snude alt for Fake

[strayheartless]

Somebody told me you're excellent at AGSZC angst, so may I humbly request your angstiest headcanon?

Oh shit, hi! Totally didn’t scream seeing this. Nope. I’m assuming by somebody you mean a certain well seasoned bird bird we both know👀…

Angst huh? Ooo I know!

(Small warning ⚠️ for allusions to EDs and body dismorphia I don’t go into huge detail on either, but I don’t know your triggers so proceed with caution if needed.)

Genesis is far more similar to Sephiroth he knows or will acknowledge. It’s something that bugs Angeal because if they just communicated better they’d see there is no need to be covetous or jealous of the other. However, they are both traumatised idiots and it is a waste of time trying to force them to talk.

For all Angeal pokes fun at at Genesis about growing up rich, he knows he had a bad childhood. Like Sephiroth he was held to an impossible standard; one that to this day Genesis doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to achieve. He was ignored by his father and his mother obsessed over vain things such as his weight and the shape of his facial features. Part of what Genesis hates about sephiroth is how beautiful he is, how muscular, how physically healthy and perfect he is.

To Genesis, Sephiroth doesn’t just represent the perfect soldier but the perfect son. So in the early years of being a soldier, Genesis restricted his own meals, read more and more to build a better vocabulary, planned surgeries for his face (that he thankfully never did) and talked obsessively about his looks. This manifests as the Genesis everybody knows and dislikes. The Genesis who boasts and pontificates and has the lexical field of a thesaurus.

Angeal knows that this is largely a cover up for just how insignificant Genesis feels. He knows that the minute Genesis is alone, truly alone, the hatred of himself seeps back in and he’d quite happily rip of his own skin and start anew. Sephiroth understands to some extent that this is the case, but he is too busy dealing with the emotional bruises Genesis’ jealousy and rage cause him that it’s hard to see past it to the hurting little boy underneath.

The fact that Genesis was an incredible inventor doesn’t even register to Gen anymore, but it’s the achievement that sparked the need for approval. His father had looked at him for that. He had said he was proud of him. His mother had not picked at his appearance for once, she had seen her little boy as brilliant… “a real money maker,”. Now Genesis sees the praise for what it was, self-involved. They were proud because it brought them profit, not because their son was clever. He’d felt so angry realising that.

He had everything he wanted growing up. Everything was perfect and just so…. His nannies put up with his silly games and crying over scraped knees, his mother at least existed in his world. His father didn’t hit him so he guessed he should be greatful. He wasn’t experimented on (that he knows of.) and he was safe (to his knowledge.). He shouldn’t want Sephiroth’s life!

And he doesn’t. But he wants his physical existence, the praise the glory. He wants for his mother to look at Sephiroth and say “look at what Genesis is doing, you could take a few pointers from him,”. He wants his father to be Glad it was Genesis they had and not Sephiroth.

He just wanted to look at himself and not want to tear himself apart. He just wanted to not have to be so careful with his physical appearance, his weight, the shape of his eyes, his hair, his… everything.

Hating Sephiroth was easier than hating himself… it’s a shame that hating Sephiroth meant hurting him.

You have no idea how much I have wanted to write that in long form lol. Thank you for the chance to get angsty!❤️

[skinreflectsthesun]

Flossed yesterday for the first time in a bit and my gums started bleeding. There I am spitting blood into the sink like a badass who got into a bar fight when actually I’m just a silly little thing that needs to floss more regularly 😊😂

[swordbisexual]

Staring myself in the mirror like “you can do this you can make a new character you can play a different run you can romance someone else” when I know, in my heart of clown hearts, that I’m going to be On My Same Old Shit all over again when I next open up the game.

[dovewingkinnie]

i’ve alwyas wanted to make an askblog for one of my fnaf aus, i’ve considered goldies inferno but that one might not work the best as one, i have a few other fnaf aus though

the afton robo family au is one idea which is the most simple and fun, and another one i haven’t told you guys about but i will share it today (hint it’s about ucn… again)

i get a lot of asks on here already so i’m just wondering (also i’m sorry i can’t answer all of the asks you guys send me here, sometimes i don’t have the motivation or energy to respond but i see them and i really appreciate all of them 💜💜)

[small-sketch]

Latest addition to my ‘I diagnose u with Tourettes’ collection is Itadori Yuji!!!

Congratulations Yuji!! You now tic when u get too excited trying to explain the plot of a movie to Nobara and Megumi !!! As if you didn’t have enough to deal with >:D !!!

Okay but I also think Gojo is the type to try and finish Yuji’s sentences when he’s mid tic and has to pause, while Nanami would politely wait for Yuji to be done like its literally no big deal. While I personally don’t like people finishing my sentences when I tic, I think Yuji would be so happy with both of their reactions. He finds Gojo comforting since he really does know what he’s going to say and keeps the energy of Yuji’s excitement up, and he finds Nanami so comforting with how nonchalant he is about it that Yuji almost forgets whats it’s like for someone to look at him weird when he tics for too long. He didn’t even have to explain what it was to Nanami, he didn’t bat an eye.

[hoforwonho]

If you’ve looked at Wonho in the past 24 hours you’re legally obligated to look at my Kei

I’m so sorry I don’t make the rules 😔���

[depressed-fanperson]

What do you think I mean when I say…

[uefb]

Shared this on twitter the other day but forgot to put it here. It’s from the unpublished sequel to With It’s Head Under One Wing, because I’ve decided to split it up into a trilogy of aprx 6 parts (2 parts in each fic, with a few complimentary one-shots that I’m excited to eventually get to post!) instead of trying to cram 15+ years into 1 fic. (You know. A more reasonable approach….)

It’s about 1938 here. They’re on a…questionable…‘assignment’ in central Europe.

[katruna]

[grayintogreen]

I’ve been listening to “Forget About the Blame” from the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Letters From the Labyrinth album on repeat and going absolutely INSANE about it and it’s about to lead to a lot of dance research…. For reason.

[amazingmsme]

Cried myself to sleep last night thinking about my spidersona’s canon events

[mayonnaise-sock]

I ised to use this account to vent abt bullshit but then i started posting art and realised “well shit i can’t keep venting now bcs people are following me” so i deleted those vent-y posts and then… made more

[auroraleigh]

another day of being an alan wilder girlie