#it’s very��� idk if violating is the right word but I think it would feel very invasive/uncomfortable

[shepscapades]

GLAD EVERYONE ENJOYED THE ANDROID INFO UPDATE ABOUT INTERFACING DFGJNDGKGNMXGHNCBNM

[dadsbongos]

So I recently had a thought about Chilchuck x reader. While drinking, Chilchuck discovers that the reader is a complete lightweight who got drunk after 2 drinks. Not only that, but reader who is usually reserved and quiet becomes rather giggly, vocal, and the smallest bit flirty. Maybe he sees what happens when the reader becomes even more drunk and backs himself into a corner when they become very flirty and forward about their feelings for him? :3

642 words / warnings - you imply you want to bang chilchuck maybe? idk its a vague comment take it how you will ~~~

Saying he was excited to see beneath the veil of brooding silence would go against his entire modus operandi, so Chilchuck would never say it aloud.

Yet he cannot fight the quiet snicker leaving him as you drunkenly giggle over some terribly unfunny joke spat by a tipsy Marcille. Party morale nights were his favorite: free ale and free entertainment.

“You should join us more often!” Marcille cheers.

“Oh, no,” you drawl, staring into your emptied mug -- your first mug, might he add, “I’m not a big drinker.”

“Obviously,” Chilchuck cannot bite the remark before it slithers out.

“Hey!” you whine, swirling on your stool you glare at him. Cheek smushed against your fist, “I’m just not a fan…”

“Because it reveals your actually tolerable side?”

“Rude!”

Chilchuck might’ve been worried about hurting your feelings if you weren’t laughing quietly, eyes fluttering shut as you hum displeased at his jab. That infamous furrow in your brows coming to life as you mull over a response, soft scowl dragging soon after.

“I think you said something you didn’t mean to, Chilchuck…”

“Huh?”

Refocusing your stare on him, you lean forward, “You pretty much just said I’m cuter when I drink.”

“Is that how you took it?” 

“It’s what you meant.”

Rolling his eyes, albeit with a chest full of mirth and warm cheeks, “Right.”

“I hope it was, anyway,” you confess, smile widening regardless of his following shock.

“What do you mean by that?!” he has to grab the table, knuckles whitening, to prevent from slipping backwards.

Shrugging coyly, you dip further into his personal space. Smelling of beer and perfume, “What do you want it to mean, Chilchuck?”

“You’re not making any sense,” he mutters, bringing up his maizer for a distracting gulp. Clenching his eyes shut when he can still make out the pretty way your lashes crown your cheeks each blink.

That itself is a mistake because now the sugary tones of your voice are further heightened in his reddening ears,

“There’s no shame, Chilchuck, I think you’re plenty cute.”

“Excuse you?” he’s thankful none of your party members catch his exclamation, or the slam of his cup against the table.

“Sorry,” you blurt, a muted gasp preceding your slurring afterthought, “Not cute in a demeaning way. Cute like I think you’d look nice in my bed.”

His jaw clatters to the floor: no way this is the same combat mage he’s been working with for months. The one that could barely return Marcille’s small talk without clamming up. The one that dodges Laios’ every attempt at monster-education. The one that quietly slips out of Falin’s sight whenever a protection spell violating personal space is required. The one that outranks Toshiro in most unapproachable. The one with a most notorious resting frown on their face.

Chilchuck was convinced you didn’t even like him as a coworker until you eagerly sat beside him at the table instead of joining Namari.

“W- what…?”

“You’re really attractive, seriously,” you bumble through the syllables, nose wrinkling in a disarmingly adorable chuckle at yourself, “I sound silly, huh?”

Rather than assure you he hardly cares, or that he’ll silently forget this entire admission, Chilchuck nods curtly and buries his nose into his cup again, “Yep.”

“Sorry, Chilchuck,” voice a coo, you relax back until you’re now invading Laios’ space. Head against the blonde’s shoulder.

Chilchuck’s most horrifying realization is that he’s awfully jealous of Laios in that moment.

But instead of saying that, he snarks bitterly,

“Tell me again when you’re sober.”

“Okay!”

Such sincerity makes him roll his eyes again, and once again he’s full of fondness and affection despite it all. Part of him even mourns how wasted you are, knowing you’ll wake up tomorrow with a headache and no memory of this: returning to the sulky attack mage he barely talks to.

[thestobingirlie]

There's this weird trend I've noticed of steddie getting the Murray treatment and the whole thing becoming about Steve defending Eddie because he's been inadvertently outed by Murray's insinuations... and absolutely no acknowledgment that Steve is also being outed in this scenario. I don't know if this is just more of your standard biphobia from this fandom (real popular that) or if it's just more of fandom being annoyingly over indulgent about Eddie being queer Jesus or whatever but I just ran into the third fic I've seen with literally the exact same premise and idk lame way to start pride month! As the only steddie fan I know that's not weird about Eddie I had to tell someone.

so many people just don’t seem to know how to write steve’s queerness, and it’s very tiring lmao. i think it could come from biphobia, but also just from people not taking steve and his feelings seriously. it’s a common trend in fics for people to tell steve he has feelings for eddie and he’s bisexual, and i do not like it, but i think this trope is just an extension of that. steve is too dumb to know anything about himself, but eddie is a good gay guy, so obviously he’s been violated.

also, this is a little nitpicky, but did the concept of ‘outing’ even exist in the 80s? like, would steve even say to eddie “sorry you got outed :(“. because i’ve seen fics use that exact wording, and that just… doesn’t sound right.

okay, just looked it up, and the usage for the word ‘outed’ (as in exposing secrets, not necessarily sexuality) was at an all time low in the 80s!! we learn something new everyday.

anyway! yeah i hate the trope of being murray’d. i don’t like when he encourages teenagers to have sex and we’re just supposed to laugh. s4 was the best murray season because he didn’t do that shit lol

[torialefay]

you and that anon calling it a war and not what it actually is. A GENOCIDE. speaks volume about both of you. in that fancall no one yelled at him, no one asked him to do anything, out of all the time they had for a fancall they spent like three seconds to say that stays are feel inspired by skz and are raising money for palestine, if that bothers you then you're a part of the problem. chan looked fine in that fancall, especially if you compare it to the tickets fancall where he clearly looked annoyed and tried to be nice at first, but they didn't get the clue and kept pushing, so he had be straight forward. i don't know if you just poorly worded your thoughts, but it sounds bad and knowing how much actuals zionists roam happily in the fandom, those poorly worded thoughts make all of them feel even more comfortable and welcomed in the fandom

hi anon ❤️ first, i want to say that i understand that you are coming from a very good place and if you felt by my messages that it came across as pro-zionism, then i truly do appreciate you coming and leaving this note. i agree that this is the right thing to do when people are promoting terrible things. i'm assuming there's confusion in what was said, but please know that i don't have any ill-will at all & i know that you come from a place of love and doing what is right 🫶🏼

firstly, you are 100% right that it is genocide. "war" was the first word that came to mind (i be watching a lottt of news that uses both oml), but i agree that genocide is way more accurate to what is actually going on so thank you for pointing that out <3

however, i'm not really sure what fancall you're referring to. i haven't seen a fancall of anyone talking to chris about it. the only fancalls i've referenced lately are the ones about tickets and the other about about the fan who was saying "do you love me more or do i love you more?". if there's a fancall of chris talking to a stay about raising money though, that's really awesome... but baby i haven't seen it nor have i talked ab it 🥲 (p.s. someone pls send me a link pls & ty 🫶🏼) lowkey highkey i'm sure chris is really fucking proud if that's the case && hopefully he'd be supportive to the best of his abilities 🥹 but long story short, baby i have never seen this video in my life nor have i talked ab it... so if that is what you're upset about then idk what is happening bc it wasnt me 🫠

i'm most definitely not a zionist and i would doubt that the others who have spoken/responded to my comments are either (i don't know for certain, but i would assume we're all normal lol). the only thing i talked ab that has to be realllly fucking hard on chris is when some stays were trending that skz needed to speak up and included the phrase "stop hurting your fans and driving them away," mostly targeted at chan. like that shit breaks my heart for him. to know that he probably wants to talk ab it and his own fans are saying how disappointed they are in him, but there is a 100% chance that if he says anything, he is violating his contract & god knows what that would do to skz (every fucking thing is controversial these days... even if it's the right thing to do). while we should never have to compromise our morals or beliefs, unfortunately this is what happens in kpop. you sacrifice your freedom of speech, and i'm sure this is one of those things. it is a horrible, systemic issue that is deeply rooted in the industry (and needs to be overturned, but that's a whole different conversation). i think trying to push for it with actual companies is a good thing, but targeting specific members isn't the way to go about it.

anyways, that's all ❤️ i hope that cleared some things up & i already know i'm gonna have anons on both sides tryna get snippy so PLEASE no one go on a rampage 🤪 i understand where anon is coming from & i genuinely take it as wanting to make sure that we are all on the same page & can foster a good environment here on tumblr. pinky promise there are no hard feelings AT ALL on my end 🫶🏼

[icaruspendragon]

cw: grooming, suicide, mental health

i know a lot of times when we see/hear the word grooming we think of a certain kind of victim of a very particular crime. to help clarify, i’m gonna give a concrete definition for what i’m taking about

so finding out this is something that’s been happening to me for the past few months sure hasn’t been, ya know, great. and i don’t feel great about it or myself.

nearly every. single. box. i get to check almost all those boxes. fortunately, the sexual aspect isn’t a facet of what i went through.

idk. i’m just. i’m hurt. i feel violated. i was manipulated and lied to and gaslit and taken advantage of and used. i feel used. and i think the worst part is that i’m still scared to talk about it. because the people involved would make my life even more miserable than they have already if i named names. they’re still finding ways to hurt me even in my silence. and i just. i don’t know what to do. i don’t have the mental fortitude to deal with the fallout that would happen if i said something but i feel an obligation to say something because this exact thing is still happening to others. i feel trapped.

i’ve talked about it in therapy. but i just don’t know how to deal with it. especially because all of the sudden my brain decided it was time for me to start processing my brother’s suicide. and this abuse started to happen literally days after he died. i feel like an emotional live wire. i cannot stress enough how much i’m not having thoughts of harming myself but i feel so used and so empty and so tired. and i can’t even talk about it. not really. not unless i wanna make it worse.

i managed to finally get out and i’m still scared of what they can do to me.

how the fuck do you handle this? what do i do now? because i feel sick to my stomach with fear and anxiety making this post but i can’t have all of this floating around in me anymore. i had to let some of it out. and i’m scared about what’s going to happen to me now.

that’s why i’ve been online less. that’s why the quality of what i have been putting online hasn’t been the best. between finding out i was emotionally and mentally manipulated and abused for months by people i thought were friends and being treated subhuman at work. i’ve had all the life zapped out of me.

that’s part of why i’m pushing patreon so hard right now. so i can at least leave my job and hope that doing so will free up the mental and emotional space to address the fact that at twenty-five-fucking-years-old i got groomed.

something has got to change. i feel like i’m at the end of my rope and that rope is about to snap.

once again, i’m not having any dangerous thoughts. but i feel like i’m on the cusp of a complete and total mental breakdown.

i just wanna catch a fucking break, man. it really does feel like one thing after the other.

so yeah. i’m scared and sad and empty and i feel dirty and used and violated and it’s sucking every ounce of joy out of me. i just wanted to focus on being able to be creative full time. on making people smile and laugh. on helping others. that’s all i want to do and now i barely have the energy to shower.

it’s not fair. after everything i’ve been through i get to add another thing to the list and it’s just. not. fair.

it’s been a really, really hard couple of weeks on top of having and really, really hard past eight months.

anyway. that’s why i’ve been like this recently.

if any of that looked/sounded familiar, here’s the site i got the info from. you should check it out.

and maybe talk to your therapist.

[monstrouslyobsessed]

For a concept : A male Palasik/Krasue is in love with a human darling. He tries to hide his true nature but one night, reader sees his transformation (his head ripping itself from his body, his spine and organs following the head). Thanks! —anonymous

—a/n: ngl…i had a bit of hard time taking this one seriously (it’s…a floating head with organs hanging out from the neck. that was…it). because it had cultural impacts in the east, i’m iffy on writing krasue as is. krasue are almost always women from what i’ve read, so i can probably get away with my re-imagining. so this is not krasue but something inspired by it.

still, if my depiction is in any way offensive, please, please tell me and I will either rewrite the whole thing or take it down entirely. 

also, idk how to tag this one because the monster aint dead???? how do I even tag this. help.

—tw / tags: gn reader, horror, gore, grossness, nonconsensual kissing, body horror, teratophilia, exophilia, general yandere themes, sfw-ish.

—featured character(s): the neighbor / the disembodied

Your neighbor was a bit of the dodgy man, but harmless. Every Sunday he’d bring you a plate of his cooking, his smile friendly but looking entirely too out of place with his thick, cotton scarf. Even during hot weather, he'd wear it, often tucking half his face inside it.

You'd...never saw him without.

He had a penchant for wearing long-sleeved clothing too, but his scarf was simply more noticeable.

Still, he was charming and had you giggling at his vulgar jokes. He was just an ordinary man with odd quirks. Your mind would sometimes wandered away from its tasks to think of other things he did, some adorable and other..more inappropriate thoughts to have for a mere neighbor. You mused on thoughts of how he would look underneath his scarf, if there was a button undone on his shirt, if it would be warm and comfortable under there, and what it might be like to run your fingers through his hair.

Or how nice it'd be to kiss him right here on your front porch.

Alright, you might've been drawn to him and his scarf didn't bother you that much.

You took a courageous breath and stopped your neighbor from descending your front steps in time. "W...would you like to eat with me?" You asked nervously, voice wavering slightly.

The man blinked owlishly up at you, before a grin blossomed through his warm gaze. You couldn't see his kissable lips through that damned scarf of his,  but you got flustered just by imagining them against yours. His eyes sparkled with joy as he nodded eagerly. "That sounds very lovely," he accepted, holding a gloved hand to his chest and bowing dramatically.

And that was how your relationship with your neighbor deepened into one of mutual attraction.

Not once had he raised any red flag for you, beyond his strange fixation on keeping his damn scarf on. Even when you'd asked him why, he'd never give you straight answers, fumbling over his words and shaking his head in refusal. You wished you’d pushed him to say something months ago, when you and he became an item.

As sickening, squelching noises rose to your ears and your hands glued to your mouth to muffle all whimpers and sobs from your lips, you wondered that maybe you'd imagined what you'd seen not too long ago. Tucking yourself tighter in the corner, concealed by a bookcase and desk, trembles wracked your body and you let out quiet, hiccuping breaths that popped your ears a little. You wished so hard to cry and scream and slap yourself, to wake up now, instead of dreaming about someone touching your thighs and the back of your neck, or feeling those hands pull gently at your clothes until they tear.

Knowing what you’d seen, that 'someone' was not a man but something else entirely, touching you with two grotesque-looking claws. Bloodied bones and a bit of red flesh still attached, violating you in your latest imaginations. Bile rose, but you bit into your tongue and willed your body to comply.

The noises grew louder, and you shuddered in disgust. It was as if something sticky and slimy was being pulled and pushed around, curdling a nauseating noise that echoed throughout the house. The sound was like a mixture of a wet slurp and a soft squelch. Each time you heard it, your skin crawled. The longer you listened, the more intense the noises became,  and every second added to nausea, twisting your stomach uncomfortably in knots. You wanted to close your eyes and pretend this was all a nightmare.

It was all just a nightmare—

You wanted to vomit.

"—, dearrrr..." A slap rang throughout the hard floor—and another slap followed. You stiffened at hearing your name, your heart pounding against your ribcage, as the strange sounds halted. A movement slapping against wood sounded, and the same terrifying sticky noise followed once more. "...dear, darling, darl—" The voice began again, softer this time, to that same sweet tone you were so used to hearing that it left your body in a quiver and your eyes growing wet again. "—dear..." And then it was silent, and you heard nothing but your own harsh breathing, echoing through the quaint office. You squeezed your tearful eyes shut, your fingers clutching the edges of the bookcase tightly, willing it all to stop. "Oh,"

Horror crept through every inch of your body, chilling your limbs and making your blood run cold, when you realized the voice was inside the room with you. Your eyes shot open the moment his voice crooned into your ears and the urge to scream blared throughout your mind—yet your throat refused to open, as you met a large pair of round eyes, staring unblinkingly back at you.

"There you are...!" His lipless mouth crackled, the permanent grin of bloodied teeth stretching wide on his blood-caked skull. It only made his grotesque visage worse, "my darling~"

You gagged on your breath, helpless as he lunged forward, grappling you by your ankle, and dragged you to his skeletal—no, his near-fleshless torso. Your vision blurred, as tears streamed down your cheeks, leaving trails of salty moisture, as you screamed and kicked at his bony hands. He leaned closer, a sickening crunch of vertebrae—thankfully not yours, snapping as he dragged your body across the ground toward his half-skeletal form. Your nails dug into the skin on his wrist—or what was left behind on his bones when he'd all but violently torn his own skin off in the front of your very eyes.

You clenched your eyes shut, now sobbing, as the disembodied monster slathered his bloodied tongue to lick your tears. With every shift of a movement, he'd bled more on your ruined clothing. You did not want to see his true form, a legless skeletal creature with organs dragging out in a tangle from his torso, fleshy and wet.

His exposed heart fluttered and beat against the inside of his ribs, pulsating painfully at the sight of you and hearing your desperate cries. He licked your cheek, and his tongue was slick against your skin, tasting of copper and salt. It wandered closer to your lips. Before you could rip your face away from his tongue, hard teeth pressed onto yours into a gruesome kiss. A shudder racked your frame, feeling sick, and your entire body seized as his disgusting tongue slipped between your teeth, pushing and pulling as his fleshy mouth forced itself deeper. With his free hand, he grabbed your chin and twisted harshly, forcing you open wider as you tried miserably to fight back—

"I love you," the monster rasped into your ear, brushing his hard nostrils on your earlobe, as his tongue brushed along your collarbone, "I love you," He repeated, nuzzling into your neck as you sobbed and gagged in disgust, trying sincerely to shove him off of your body. He seemed to laugh, pressing his fleshy mouth against your cheek in a disgusting kiss, "I love you—so very, very much.”

You wished so badly you hadn’t seen the abnormalities under his scarf and seen the truth of what he truly was.

A hard lesson for you to learn to never drop by your partner’s house, unannounced.

—end

partially edited as of 3.19.23

[td-brick]

Major vbros spoilers under the cut (particularly for s6-7) if you care but this is just me rambling about how I think the monarch and alejandro are similar 😁😁 not really an au or anything like that I just think it's interesting to think about. As always I want to preface with the fact that I'm not the best writer ever so some of this might not make sense I'm just rambling

So obviously I don't hold the same sympathy for alejandro's dad who we don't even see like I do for don bc of the obvious (blue morpho arc) And of course they're in different situations bc the monarch was orphaned and alejandro had neglectful parents etc etc so I don't think their specific situations were too similar but I think the way they responded to them was similar In my opinion

I don't remember much about alejandro in comparison to the monarch bc i've watched td much less recently but as previously mentioned her parents were pretty much absent in her life. Her dad was busy and never had time for her and her parents also loved her brother/s more than her and that shows up a lot in the show, like her being upset when people call her "al" and stuff like that. I feel like that shows how much she values facets of her identity like that and she feels dehumanized and disrespected when people don't listen to her on those things

The monarch is also like this, he says constantly throughout the show how arching rusty is like. Him. and his entire identity is attached to that and his life as a villain. and like a huge plotline in ~s6-7 And in ritbotbh is how the guild (and dr gf as an extension of that, which makes him take it even more personally bc of his relationship to her) won't let him do the One Thing that's important to him. Not exactly the same situation but I feel like they both have a poor sense of self (#ambiguous disorder) so they latch onto certain things in their life they feel is Right or that is Them and are extremely sensitive when they feel disrespected in that regard. And going back to what I said ab the monarch taking stuff with the guild more personally bc of dr gf, I think alejandro feels like that throughout wt as well. She sees her name as really important to her and is sensitive about people shortening it bc that's what her brother/s used to do to belittle her, and i feel like she would want to get away from that during td. But people constantly call her al and stuff anyways, either by mistake OR on purpose to antagonize her

Actually also adding onto that I think they both do certain things that allow them to "escape"in a way their situations. for alejandro like i said being in td was like an escape from her family, and with the monarch he adopts the blue morpho persona so he can (eventually) go back to arching rusty. Again these are both tied into how they see certain things as central to their identities and yeah idk how to word what I mean but you understand. like alejandros doesn't really make sense unless I explain it a bit but again bc she recieves so much disrespect from her family especially in regards to things that are very important to her identity and I think going on td is a way to escape that, but also to prove herself as capable in a way to her family that neglected her and always prioritized her brothers over her. And I feel like the monarch is doing smth similar with the blue morpho persona... He feels hurt and violated that he's fallen so much as a villain so he's unable to do the one thing he cares about (arching rusty) and he's reacting by adopting a different persona to, like alejandro, prove himself

I also think that they're both EXTREMELY insecure and I feel a lot of it can be attributed to their upbringing... the monarch is constantly shown to be insecure and have a horrible sense of self and i think its reasonable to say that its at least in part to how he grew up... he constantly talks about while his father was alive he was barely there and he calls him a "boozed up socialite". I know alejandro's father is a diplomat so I don't think he'd fit that description really at all but again I think the effects on alejandro is similar to how don's job/behavior affected the monarch. and the sparse attention they get from their fathers causes them to be extremely insecure idk I kinda ran out of steam here but I might elaborate on this again when I feel better

They're also both proud of how terrible they are lol. Unimportant but it's funny to me in a way...alejandro you would have made a wonderful guild antagonist

👆 bonus aleheather as the monarch (go figure) and dr girlfriend if you read all of that lol

[thelemmallama]

I'm former pro-para turned anti-para these days, but not because I've been convinced by existing anti-para arguments, but because I discovered new ones for myself. 99% of existing/visible anti-para arguments are fucking stupid; that sadly has not changed. (For one, most anti-paras don't even reject the premise of "paraphilia" as a scientifically valid condition in the first place)

I'm tired of just everyone being dumb in para-related discourse and completely failing to describe the differences they've observed and carve reality at the joints. So I felt compelled to clear things up (also partly because of personal stuff happening to me recently), and made these infographics(?) in the process:

also the explanation itself; here's some very messy notes under the cut that I don't have energy to edit

an actually consistent argument against MAPs, including non-offenders (from a former supporter)

(1: diagram?)(if you encounter a 'necessary evil' situation; someone probably screwed up earlier down the line)(trolley, pull, don't pull - real evil: someone tied these people to the tracks)(admit, deny - real evil: you've been fantasizing about children) why it's harmful to think about children sexually

'what would be destroyed by the truth, should be' {- pro-maps would call this thoughtcrime, and literally no-one addresses it}

related: sa survivors don't disclose not bc 'feeling like bad person' shame, but bc of "doesn't want ppl to think of them being sa'd" shame {- even in a perfectly accepting world, there is the tradeoff of getting it off your chest vs }

if you look at things through agency-maximizing consequentialism (which solves/avoids the horrifying edge cases of happiness-maximizing consequentialism like powering a utopia witha forsaked child or sacrificing us all to the utility monster), thoughts do indeed cause harm

(3?) arousal is not pleasure

sa survivors experience arousal when sa'd; they did NOT enjoy it [ ('pleasure' or 'gratification' being used to describe sex (e.g. sexual assault, one's body 'betraying' you for feeling pleasure), and compare substituting 'pleasure' or 'gratification' in descriptions of being itchy/etc) no no no no, you're still trapped in the 'arousal = pleasure' framework. by saying that negative experiences of arousal are ego-dystonic, you're still assuming arousal is intrinsically pleasureable and it's a negative experience because the person doesn't want to feel pleasure in this situation, not because the arousal itself is the exact opposite of pleasurable.

an example of how arousal can be a negative yet ego-syntonic experience could be if a person is sexually assaulted, but they have extremely low self-worth, despises themself and believe they deserve to suffer. then the profoundly painful experience of sexual assault could be ego-syntonic, as they feel like it's their rightful punishment. however just because the arousal was ego-syntonic does not at all imply it was pleasurable or that they 'enjoyed it', any more than a self-harmer 'enjoyed' hurting themself because they chose to do so. ]

mere stimulation: aroused pleasure: enjoy/gratification/desire idk: erotic/titilating/excitement/horny/get off on

every word for being sexually aroused or something causing sexual arousal carries with it the implication that it's a positive experience. sexual excitement? titilation? horny? get off on? even 'sexual arousal' itself!

(2?) "pedophilia" not biologically based

most are men: gender essentialist implications

child marriage was widespread

children/innocence/vulnerability to violation/don't think of pink elephants

currently most people not attracted to children bc we correctly recognize it's harmful to sexually interact with children. it's like eating a sandwich vs eating a sandwich after knowing the cucumber had been used as a dildo. physical sensation same

(thing that first clued me in) on ao3, there are barely any fics about non-offending pedophiles, while there are tons of underage fics. given how prevalent proship discourse is and how much it overlaps with map discourse, wouldn't there be more stories about non-offending pedophiles? instead, even among the sympathetically-depicted pedophiles a majority is offending. it just seems really sus that that narrative seems to resonate more with people than that of the non-offending pedophile.

(4)(diagram?) 'arousal wrt children' on two axes: positive/negative valence, deliberate/instinctive

pocd

self-harm/catharsis

wants to change

map who push for (no)map acceptance

then when i said 'it's harmful to think about children sexually', i mean positive valence thought. what about deliberate? i'm not feeling convicted on this and am open to arguments why it's wrong, but i believe deliberately thinking about csa in a negative way is like deliberately thinking about other atricites in a negative way. the 'fiction is not reality' thing applies specifically to this quadrant. and yes, it's worrying there's no clear line between mere depiction and endorsement, but that can be applied to fascist genocides as well, and i don't see many people arguing against all depictions of fascist genocides in fiction because of this. people still manage to identify and condemn positive depictions/endorsements of fascism, and the same should be applied to csa and desire-for-children.

what about the 'is it okay to tell' test? it's clearly abusive to talk about deliberately dwelling on the abuse of a specific real child that exists or has existed (other than your past self), so i believe that's harmful to do, even if you attribute negative valence to the abuse. but if the valence is negative - you're rightfully thinking of it as something horrific rather than something enjoyable - i believe it's morally neutral to dwell on the abuse of a random child you imagined, or yourself from the past. (fictional children are a grey area imo; if the child is from a story that depicts csa in the source material for catharsis/coping, that's different from if the child is from nonsexual children's media

[casualtydept]

ground zeroes. you cant see whats happening in That tape but i thought skull face was ordering the assault not committing it himself. not that its any less horrific but should skull face be called a rapist when its unclear what actually happened?

putting this under a read more cause i know it's a sensitive topic

i'd argue it isn't unclear at all - that's exactly what happened. he has a soldier rape paz, tries to force chico on her but he refuses and talks instead (unrelated but people love to miss this part for some reason??)

idk how it would be termed legally, i've seen the term "rape by proxy" used but finding actual academic or legal sources i can access on it is difficult.

rape law varies a lot and relies on a lot of very specific wording so it probably largely depends on your legal system whether it'd be classed as rape or as a form of sexual assault. frankly i think the guy violates so many human rights on an average day the legal system would have a field day with him regardless.

so while i can't tell you if you "should" legally, it is certainly fair for people to call him that if they think it's appropriate; he is guilty of using rape as a tool and method of torture regardless of the degree to which he participated personally or the nature of his motivations, i'm not gonna argue with that.

i do think it's perhaps more useful to look at fictional characters through the lens of them being tools to examine a topic (guantanamo bay is fucked) or reveal something about their creator (kojima et al. cannot write sexual assault for shit) rather than trying to find the right legal label for their crimes but it's interesting all the same.

i don't begrudge people hating the character for it or for calling him what he is but it would be cool if anyone was actually interested in having a meaningful discussion about it instead of trying to suggest that enjoying a morally bankrupt character should be in some way off limits or that the people who do are equally as evil or in some way untrustworthy.

i also don't think it was necessarily wrong to include rape in ground zeroes, it's more to do with the presentation and the writing of it, but it feels like most people are stuck on the idea that depicting it at all was the problem. which, fair enough if it's too sensitive a matter, i know i have a stronger stomach for it than most. ground zeroes is my special little problem child.

anyway thanks for the fun question to start my morning lmao, there's a reason i wasn't willing to weigh in over on twitter because i have too much to say that can't be contained by its character limits

[feekins]

hoo boy, ch 8. okay. I've got tea steeping. I've got a comfy throw blanket. I have my cat on standby, bc...honestly idr how I reacted the first time I read this almost 20 years ago. all I know is that a lot of things flew over my head at that age, so it should be uh. interesting. to see what I get out of it as an adult.

so yeah - my thoughts and things as I re-read ch8 of Trigun vol 2.

I'M NOT NERVOUS. YOU'RE NERVOUS. 🫣

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

ok so uh. this is gonna be a longass post. no joke, I took reference pics of almost every single page of this chapter, but thanks to the 10-image limit...well. we'll see how this goes.

on the very first page, we have some context-changing translation discrepancies.

in Dark Horse, we've got:

WOLFWOOD: "I got a bad feeling...about these guys." (referring to the dudes he beat up when they tried to jump him as he walked into the church in the last chapter)

LEGATO: "How rude. How else do you expect to be treated when you suddenly trespass?"

meanwhile, the Overhaul has something much more informative, once again:

WOLFWOOD: "Who are these idiots? The Roderick slavers?"

LEGATO: "My apologies... I just needed to show late arrivals who they are dealing with."

then, on the next page, we see that Legato and Wolfwood haven't met before (which was something I was wondering about last chapter). they only recognize each other by physical descriptors (Wolfwood's cross, Legato's skull and torture device).

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

again, the Overhaul is more informative. and the panel right after this one...Vash looks so exhausted 🥺

there's also a difference in Dominique's last words to Vash a few pages later. Dark Horse has her saying, in reference to Legato "No one stands up to that man. Do you think he'd help me after I've failed?" meanwhile, the Overhaul has "If I can't be of service to him...then there is only one way this can turn out."

and then, she jumps :( Dominique remains one of my fav GHGs... it would be nice to see her return (she's on Wanted posters!!!) in tristamp, but. in any case. I lov her. and I'd love to learn more about her 🥺

Vash passes out right as Dominique's falling, and my younger self always thought that was weird? but their fight was a LOT more taxing than it first appeared, at least to me. we see proof of this later in the chapter.

some little translation discrepancies here. Midvalley's line in Dark Horse always kinda confused me. ty, Overhaul, for clarifying so much! oh, and Legato's last line here - for some reason I always thought he was talking about Vash? but now I realize he's talking about KNIVES. that's not translation-induced confusion, tho - just me being A Silly Lil Guy again, I guess 🤪

oh, and I didn't point it out in the last chapter, but...there's something striking about there being a church right at the top of Jeneora Rock. I can't explain why. it's just...something that rly sticks out or seems important to me.

OH, BUT THEN!!!

IT'S THE DOCTAAAAAAAAAand that's all the screaming I'll do about him for now 🤭

again, the Overhaul's translation is more informative, explicitly mentioning Knives' injuries, but idk. maybe I'm nitpicking. whateverrrrr, me likey additional info =u=

now...we get into the heavier topics.

their plan for resurrecting Knives is. disturbing. to say the least. you've got the physical horror, which was what most struck me when I was a teenager...but what gets me now is the violation/exploitation/stripping of agency from another plant for personal gain/survival...of which humans are guilty...but this time, it's all in the name of The Big Bad Human-Hater. and so, right when we finally get to meet him in the flesh, the narrative shows how, Plant Shenanigans aside, Knives...really isn't all that different from the humans he so hates. he perpetuates the exact. same. shit. the cognitive dissonance, man... 😣

more Dark Horse-induced confusion the Overhaul's cleared up for me

then, at the bottom of the page, where Wolfwood's grousing, Dark Horse has him saying "Shit! What the hell was with all th' training?!" (another line that always confused me) whereas the Overhaul has "Shit! What the hell am I doin'?!"

and that leads me into the next thing I wanted to note: it's here that we see Wolfwood is a man stuck between a rock and a hard place. he gets frustrated with it, doesn't want to do it, but he fully believes he can't get out of it :(

I also want to note a difference between the manga and tristamp - manga Vash is able to sense Knives the moment he's resurrected, whereas tristamp Vash is only aware of Knives' presence when the diner piano starts playing (ep 3). it's an interesting difference!

but then, there's fking...

...this. immediately after Knives is reborn.

I didn't think anything of it as a teen. but now...initially, I was horrified, thinking "oh shit, oh fuck, what the hell is he doing to his 'mother' now" BUT. looking at it a second time, I think I get what the context is telling us. on the previous page, there's Knives WITH HIS 'MOTHER' UNDERFOOT. on the panel immediately below the one I've shown, there's an explosion. so. I think what's going on here is that Knives is using his plant abilities to bust out - which still isn't great, most likely killing his 'mother' in the process...but unfortunately, considering who this is, it tracks;;;;;;

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

so much more urgency comes through in the Overhaul's translation here - "...I NEED to face him. I have to END this!"

we also get a lot more out of the Overhaul on the next page, when Vash is talking about his memory loss. both translations start with Vash saying "Everything on the other side is blank..." but whereas Dark Horse has him continue with "Where there is no memory, I must go to fill in the void..." the Overhaul has "I lost all memory of what I've done. All that was left with me was a void and a memory of a mountain of rubble."

then, when Vash gets to Knives and points his gun at him...Knives' absolutely deranged reaction, which I found funny as a teen, now just. gives me the chills. as does how tristamp drew directly from this exchange for their meeting in that diner.

aaaaand we have some translation weirdness after Knives sees Vash's scars and is all "Vash y u no learn?!" Dark Horse then misattributes 2 speech bubbles in a panel with Vash, instead having Knives say:

KNIVES: "If you keep count, you've hurt so many more than you've killed. And compare that to all the destruction you've caused..."

KNIVES (next panel, speech bubbles are his): "So, shouldn't you...point that thing somewhere else?"

the Overhaul is, once again, a lot more clear here:

VASH (in reference to his scars): "They're nothing compared to the burden of death and destruction you've put on me! You're gonna pay for your sins, you monster!"

KNIVES: "Considering what you did with that right arm of yours...shouldn't you be pointing that gun somewhere else then?"

I believe that's what we call gaslighting? and the victim blaming Knives does over and over is... 😬

more translation weirdness. no comment here - I've been working on this post for literal hours now igkhddkhdjg

...no translation weirdness here - just wanted to note...I didn't get this part as a teen. now, I do... 😟

and both translations of the first thing Knives says to Vash after forcing him to bring out the angel arm now strike me as. so messed up. part of the SA/noncon allegory...

KNIVES (Dark Horse): "Well?! How do you like it, Vash?"

VS

KNIVES (Overhaul): "How is it?! How does it feel, Vash?!"

and then, right before it fires? for some reason, Dark Horse completely leaves out what Vash says/thinks immediately after Rem's name. before the Overhaul, I had no idea that this bit was a thing: "...we were no good...right from the start." 😭

now here. have an Emotional Support Charlie. she slept beside me the whole damn time I wrote this post 💕

[opartnermine]

ive been poking around syscourse stuff for a bit now.

It’s… well. it’s very, very clear that these online communities are made up of traumatized people. resembles a lot of autism acceptance discourse, too.

I have to say, Reddit does a lot better in this case. I think mostly cause tumblr is so bizarrely deontological with its theories of oppression, and genuinely also just because it’s a bit harder in the UI to link stuff. probably also some differences in culture, too, but even the most vehemently exclusionary spaces ive found on Reddit regarding mental health stuff were so much less draining to spend time in because they weren’t so painfully and delusionally convinced they were right. and to be clear that goes for both sides of the situation, though anti-endos are a lot worse in that way.

Reddit sucks in a lot of ways but one cultural distinction that makes it a lot easier there is that you need sources for a claim. and the person with sources wins. and if you don’t have sources and/or a good argument, you must make it clear that you are not 100% confident about your conclusion. partly it’s just the forum format that helps with that, where you can’t hide someone else’s reply by grabbing a different reblog chain—I really do think that’s a central feature of why tumblr is so toxic in its particular way—but I think it’s also just an internet culture thing.

so like. from what I remember the general format of anti-endo sentiment was ‘yeah, ok, might be possible but y’all have something different from us and we want you to stay in your own spaces, leave us alone and we’ll leave you alone’. and maybe a bit of ‘makes us look bad’.

that view on tumblr would have you on anti-endo blocklists. to even posit the notion that there is the remotest possibility that endos aren’t faking it is utterly heretical.

and I can’t help but see that the core of it is a complete disregard for the facts of the matter. anti-endos don’t read scientific or philosophical literature, except for one unfounded theory in psychology. they don’t look into the emergent mechanisms of hebbian learning outlined in cognitive neuroscience, they don’t listen to sociologists and philosophers who’ve by and large concluded that medical gatekeeping is harmful to people with real issues.

they don’t listen to the huge number of people just like them, with diagnosed CDDs, who repeatedly beg them to stop because it was anti-endo sentiments that delayed their own search for treatment, or convinced them that they were disgusting, subhuman fakers who ought to kill themselves, or threw them deeper into denial.

instead, they hold up the regular ‘hi im not a system or anything but you guys are right about those degenerates’ asks as a banner of legitimacy while ignoring everything else. as if those words—of a person who by dint of not struggling with this would most likely not be as devoted to understanding plurality as people who do, in fact, have had to understand themselves—matter more than all the voices begging them to change, all the literature telling them how much harm they’re doing, all the research showing that they’re incorrect.

they fixate on acts of the individual, grabbing every bit of evidence they can of pro-endos violating DNIs and false tagging and so many minuscule transgressions as if they’re an ontological argument.

‘see? these people must be incorrect about cognition because they were mean to me this one time!’ it’s fucking ridiculous. and it feels like every other bigotry under the sun.

and it’s… idk. they’re just so angry all the time. it can’t feel good, right? like. im pissed off right now, and that’s why im blogging here and not posting something on my main. I am fully aware that this post doesn’t make a difference. it wouldn’t make much of a difference even if I posted it publicly and got ten thousand reblogs, because it’s all confrontational and not actually making effective arguments. but this is the only kind of anti-endo post I see. just… venting. anger. rants about screenshots of some random person being somewhat mean. and the same four thought-terminating lines.

ive seen people try to argue otherwise, and they’re just… ignored. ive literally never once seen an anti-endo respond to the substance of an argument. any time someone posts a big chain of links to scientific studies, or the DSM (or I think maybe a different psychiatric body, not remembering atm) definition explicitly laying out the possibility of non-disordered plurality, or anything in that vein it just gets ignored. i just saw someone respond to the DSM thing by literally saying ‘that doesn’t personally apply to me because i live outside their jurisdiction’ as if human cognition varies in its fundamental structure along state borders.

it’s also just a bit annoying when unhinged anti-endo rant posts with 6 reblogs show up in my fyp.

and like. I know why? it’s not that hard to see—the people getting into these arguments are probably only some of any given system’s members; there’s a real degree of emotional immaturity and delayed development that you get when you only exist some of the time, and im speaking on this from experience. and even if that’s not a thing, and im wrong about that—check this out, epistemic humility, you should try it sometime—trauma fucks you up. especially the kind of trauma that can land you a DID diagnosis. and it’s hard to be rational when you’ve got that hanging over you.

so it makes sense. im not posting this out of incomprehension—i know what’s going on. it’s just… emotionally tiring to see. I hope that these people can get their shit together and heal and move on and live a comfortable life, because I know that a person who is comfortable and satisfied doesn’t behave like this.

idk. it just feels so much like r/uncensorednews, except tumblrites are so spectacularly convinced of their own perfectly ethical nature that it’s even fucking worse. at least people on that sub were self-aware and knew that they were incredibly racist. that’s a really low fucking bar, people. get real.

anyway.

[little-cereal-draws]

Ok I’m going to reblog this again but add smth this time

I think Bal should be in this au but as a ghost. But like one of those ambiguous ghosts where it’s not clear if he’s real or if he’s a figment of ambrosius’ imagination as he slowly gets consumed by grief, love, and the need for revenge (like macbeth, hamlet, or the end of Sitting Bull's History Lesson for my western fans lol).

The first time ambrosius sees him, it’s pretty close to the original accident. Bals just standing there sadly, slightly behind an important live person (like the director or queen) delivering the news of his death, saying nothing. Ambrosius is so shocked/moved that he swears revenge. Surely that’s why Ballister still around right? He wants revenge on the person who caused his untimely death.

Ambrosius gets frustrated with how slow and useless the Institute's investigation is, so he leaves. He gets darker and more violent, teaming up w nimona to do very… questionable things. People die. Nimonas loving it. (I figured she would be closer to her comic version.) They find evidence, interrogate (read: torture) people, and do anything else they need to uncover who killed Ballister. That’s the main plot, them being evil and badass, but Bal does make a few more appearances.

Sometimes he whispers encouraging things while ambrosius goes way too far when fighting someone. But the thing is that what he says sounds very close to general compliments he would give ambrosius while alive like, “my brave sir knight.” So it’s hard to tell if he’s really there encouraging him or if he’s a memory ambrosius is using to push himself as he probably violates the Geneva convention.

Or maybe the main plot starts to get a bit sidetracked (Nimona wants to do more than avenge Ballister. She probably didn't even know him so why is she helping ambrosius? she's got her own motives and is slowly dragging ambrosius away from his mission. If the director still killed Ballister here, maybe she's trying to get him to dismantle the whole institute instead of just kill only her). After they get back from a side mission and Nimona leaves, ambrosius sees Bal's ghost standing in his empty room. He looks disappointed and betrayed. Ambrosius asks him if he's upset that he's taking a slight break form avenging him but Bal doesn't answer. As the "conversation" goes on, he never answers anything ambrosius says, just keeps looking at him sadly. Essentially arguing with the wall, ambrosius talks himself into thinking that Nimona is purposely misleading/distracting him so stall his mission. He gets progressively more upset until he's screaming and/or crying. Bal never says a word and just fades away. Whether Bal was there and was actually upset with ambrosius or ambrosius is just feeling guilty that his mission isn't going as quickly as he wanted is up to interpretation. But this all leads ambrosius to be meaner/more dismissive to nimona. He shuts down her ideas very quickly and yells a lot more. Maybe here they have a falling out that may or may not include physically fighting each other.

I have no idea how the main plot would end bc I'm focusing more on ambrosius' personal arc here but ambrosius does end up avenging Ballister. But it's bloody and difficult and so many more people die than necessary. Maybe ambrosius himself gets pretty seriously wounded. (idk if Nimona would help him. she might have abandoned him at this point depending on how bad the previously mentioned fight was.) But anyway, ambrosius is sitting there, losing a lot of blood, next to the body of the person who killed Bal. Bal appears again and they finally have a full conversation. Balister says he's disappointed in ambrosius and disgusted by all the things he's done. ambrosius gets really upset because at this point he's given up everything to succeed in this mission. This fight climaxes with ambrosius yelling, "THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!" Balister responds with, "No, this is what you wanted." Then he fades away, leaving ambrosius alone with the corpse of the person he's been relentlessly hunting for months. He realizes how consumed he's been by his quest for revenge and how none of this will bring Bal back and even if it could, Bal wouldn't want to be with him after the things he's done. He cries. The story ends here and it's unclear if ambrosious dies from his wounds or not.

Anyway... I didn't mean to outline a whole fic, I just wanted to talk abt Bal being a ghost lol It's very important that no one else is ever there when he appears to ambrosius, that every situation he does appear in is a high emotion one so ambrosious is woozy/not thinking straight, and that everything he says is very vague until the final conversation. I think ambiguous ghosts are the coolest things lol

"It is with great sadness that we confirm that our beloved knight, Sir Ballister Boldheart has sadly been killed in tonight's horrific accident at Glorodome. The Institute has begun the investigation..." Ballister is dead. Gloreth's golden descendant seeks vengeance with the help of an expected ally.

[the1975attheirverybest]

i think links in fanfic can be interesting especially when its a fic thats been tied to real life context and events but when its in place of writing so to show outfits, setting etc it seems lazy?

also how are you doing, what have you been up to? - 🐸

I think you’re right! Also, like, reading is a very specific activity where the dynamic is between your brain and words. Bringing other stuff into it would change your role as a reader. Like images kind of make you more passive? But if it’s a video and you wanna concentrate then it’s more deliberate? Idk. People say “electronic fiction is the future” and i don’t know how I feel about it.

I’m alright. Horrendous as usual. For a whole month I haven’t really been feeling anything but despair. Maybe I gotta call my psychiatrist lol.

Debating wearing the Keith Haring “Safe Sex” shirt to my show in Nov. worried it violates some kind of venue policy? Lmaooo wow the things that take up space in my head make no sense.

How are youuuu how is your Wednesday?

[cornrowsandcornbread]

i’ve suspected i was asexual since last year when i realized that people literally got horny looking at strangers. i was so shocked! i have formally participated in saying comments about celebs like “oouuu they could get it (which i don’t do now)” because i just assumed everyone was using it to exaggerate how fine/beautiful someone was, not cuz they literally wanted to sex them up! when i realized that i actually felt kinda violated bc i was like “what if someone i don’t know has felt that way about me?” lol. and i’m alloromantic so i’ve had a few crushes in my life, and even then i was never sexually attracted to them. but bc i have an interest in having sex, and i watch “adult films,” (once again, i’ve never been attracted to the people in them. matta fact, most of the time i think they’re quite unattractive lmao) and i read explicit stories from time to time, i thought i couldn’t be asexual.

it’s bc i’ve always thought asexuality = sex repulsion, virgin, complete distaste for sex, sexual activities, and sexual conversations. and for many aces, that is what it means, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. tbh, in this very hypersexualized world we live in, i truly love that for y’all. but while that is what asexuality means for some, that’s not what it means for all. learning about the spectrum of asexuality “sex repulsion -> sex neutrality -> sex positivity/favorable” and learning that sexual attraction ≠ sexual action has been a great help. you could truly have sex with 1000 people in your life time, you could genuinely enjoy all 1000 sexual… sessions (idk how else to word it lmao), but if you were sexually attracted to none of your sexual partners, you’re just as asexual as anyone else. and that’s been very validating to learn. the definition of asexuality is little to no sexual attraction. like that’s it, there’s nothing more to it. another thing that kept me from realizing i was asexual is it always seemed like weirdo yt people shit. but black asexuals exist. and it’s not yt people shit, i mean last time i checked i was a nigga! the last thing is that i still like to do “sexual/sensual” things. like, one thing about me? i’m gon twerk! and i wanna be a majorette, a style of african american dance that can be pretty sensual, and ik when i finally get my dream wardrobe it’s gonna be A LOT of shirts that show lots of cleavage, and other things of that nature. like i thought that asexuality kinda meant that you don’t wanna show off your body or that you don’t like feeling sexy yk? or that you’re just an all round shy person but that’s not true at all. asexuality, like every sexual orientation, is not as strict as i convinced myself it was. idk i feel good right now knowing this about myself. and this is my only outlet for the time being. not that i can’t tell my family, i truly think they would support me and/or not really gaf tbh lmao. especially my sister who i suspect may also be on the ace spectrum by our conversations (she may not be full on ace but i think she’s somewhere on there), but i just don’t even know how to start the conversation so i haven’t. seems like something that’s a big deal to me but wouldn’t be a big deal to other people yk idk i’m just talking atp. anyways, NIGGA ACES EXIST! I AM ASEXUAL. I’M A SEX FAVORABLE ASEXUAL. I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS 👍🏽. THAT IS ALL

[mixelation]

@frogstornp said:

im curious for examples

so i will be upfront that i don't know a ton about rehabilitation programs and what makes them effect or not. but in general they do require the person being rehabilitated to be willing to work with the program. in the type of post i'm talking about, it's POSSIBLE the OPs of such posts meant that the Rehabilitated Villain character is doing it voluntarily and willingly. however they usually use words like "force" or "make them" so when said posts appear contextless on my dash, it does seem like the OP in question is describing a wholly unwilling participant being forced into situations against their will, a la "forcing" a character to go to therapy. i will also note that i'm fully aware some of the things i'm about to describe absolutely happen IRL; that doesn't make them effective or ethical

the most common rehabilitation plan i see is the character being forced to do some sort of community service, sometimes with caveats like "they'll starting getting paid for it when they start being better people!" and uh folks. that's slavery, good job. extra good job if the "community service" is inherently dangerous or set up to be demeaning because OP thinks risking your life or being humbled is important to redemption. sometimes the caveat is the character can have more personal freedoms if they do enough good deeds, with what seems to be blithe ignorance that, for example, keeping someone in isolation is also unethical. none of these things are likely to even work without voluntary participation from the rehabilitated person. and when i bump into these sorts of scenarios in fic, they're also often described with an incredible sort of navelgaze-y smugness that it makes me deeply uncomfortable.

i'll note that a lot of these characters have fantastical super powers, so some of the restrictions of personal freedoms are done as pragmatic ways to prevent them from, idk, psychically choking you to death. this also means sometimes OP will very excitedly describe keeping a character physically restrained or nerfed at all times (e.g., blindfolding an Uchiha character to prevent them from using the Sharingan) or stripping a disabled character of an assistive or medical device (e.g., taking away Bucky's metal arm without any sort of replacement, or using Darth Vader's medical support needs to control him). this is also ethically questionable. i think, given in all my examples the characters have powers that don't exist IRL, exploring how many rights can be violated for the good of the community's safety is an interesting conundrum to explore in a story, but to explore it, you do have to acknowledge it's a conundrum.

it's also just less rewarding character work to strip the character you're trying to rehabilitate of their agency. isn't it more interesting to see someone come to the conclusion that they want to try to be better? isn't it more fun to see that slow, gradual evolution?

i mean i would also read a fucked up horror story about a villain character being stripped of all agency while their captors insist and gaslight them by saying it's all for their own good, and won't they feel better if they become a good person? but you do have to realize that's what you're writing

one of the funniest and most eyebrow raising genres of post on this website are the fandom posts where someone describes how they want to rehabilitate their problematic fave and the post is all couched in ~woke~ language but then they describe something deeply unethical and/or actual torture

[animeomegas]

MY FELLOW ANON ARE VIOLATING MY EMOTIONS TODAY 😂 god I’m acc crying. Your writing is amazing. I’m gonna combat the sadness with a wholesome thing of them finding a pup in a bin (or something) a few months after the loss of the first pup (Neji is currently shut down entirely) is like “lol gimme”. Proceeds to take the pup home, put it in his nest scent the lil bean (gender is your choice) and just be like “yeah this mine now”. Any nay sayers are ignored bc it’s still his baby (maybe almost like his pup reincarnated 👀👀) regardless of how baby was obtained. Idk I just think my guy needs some positivity after life kicking the ever loving shit out of him

This is beautiful and you’re right, Neji deserves the world, but I’ll settle with a quiet life and some happiness for my boy!

Okay, so things haven’t been…good with Neji since you had to let your pup die to save him.

It has been two months and still he lays in his nest every day, sometimes crying, sometimes whining, but mostly just staring at nothing. He had incorporated a bunch of baby stuff (blankets, toys etc.) into his nest before he went to the hospital, in order to make his pup feel more at home in the nest when he was supposed to bring them back. You had tried to take them out to stop him having to be confronted with what happened in his safe space, but Neji almost attacked you for doing so, so you let him keep them.

But it’s very concerning when he spends hours at a time just stroking the pup's blankets and staring at nothing.

So, you decide to take Neji on a walk to get him out of the house. It would be his first time leaving the house since the funeral.

You go at night time, because Neji is still refusing any contact with anyone he knows and this way he’s less likely to be confronted when he isn’t ready for it. To make extra sure that you can be alone, you decide to walk around the edge of the woods around one of the quieter training grounds.

Neji doesn’t speak much, but he doesn’t whine or cry either, and the night air brings a little colour to his cheeks, and you’re so happy at the small improvements. It doesn’t matter how long it ends up taking him to feel better, you’ll be here with him the whole way.

…

“I was thinking about cooking something special next week,” you make idle conversation, not expecting Neji to reply. “It’s our anniversary after all, do you have any preference?”

Neji stops walking suddenly. His shoulders are tense.

“Neji?”

He hushes you harshly.

“I can hear…”

Without another word of warning, Neji makes his way a little further into the trees. You follow him, confused and worried.

“Byakugan!” he calls, scanning the area. He gasps as he scans over a nearby bush and immediately he drops to his knees beside it.

“Neji?” you ask, now more than a little concerned. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

You watch as Neji pulls something out of the bush. He turns around with a bundle in his arms.

“It’s a pup,” Neji says, obviously shocked. You can’t blame him, you’re feeling more than a little shocked yourself. What on earth was a pup doing out here? “They’re freezing. Give me your jacket.”

Without hesitance, you quickly slip your jacket of and hand it to Neji who promptly bundles up the pup in it and brings them to his chest. The pup is making small whimpering noises that had been almost impossible to hear over the wind. Neji must have hear them, thank goodness.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Neji coos to the pup. “You’re safe now, I'll take you home and make it better, I promise.”

“We need to get them to the hospital asap," you say, shaking your head. "They must be freezing and they look underweight as well. We’re not mednin, Neji.”

“Our home is closer.”

“Neji…”

“We need to make sure they’re warm,” he argues. “We can bring them home and alert a medic to make a home visit.”

You look at the earnest look on his face and know that he won’t back down, and now isn’t a time for arguments anyway.

“Okay,” you swallow nervously. “We’ll bring them home.”

…

You bring the pup back to your home and before you can protest, Neji brings them into his nest with a mumbled ‘they’ll be warm in there’.

Neji bundles himself and the pup up in the corner of the nest, turning on a little heater beside him, and tucking the pup into his shirt to share body warmth.

“We’ll get you nice and warm, it’s okay, you’re safe, I won’t let anyone harm you,” he whispers while stroking their cheek with a finger. The pup wriggles around, already looking more energetic, and starts mouthing at Neji’s chest.

“Are you hungry?” Neji laughs softly before turning to you. “Go and heat up a bottle for the pup, all the supplies are in the… the nursery.”

You nod dumbly and do as you’re asked, astounded at how much life is in Neji’s eyes. It’s the most life you’ve seen from him in months. But you can’t help but worry. What if Neji gets attached and you can’t keep the pup? Of course, you want nothing more than to keep the baby, it almost seems too good to be true that she literally fell into both your lives at this trying time, but what if it is too good to be true? What if they’re sick? Or their parents are looking for them? Or… something else. Neji doesn’t deserve another heartbreak, and you don’t want to destroy the small amount of progress he’s made in the last month.

But for now, all you can do is heat up the bottle.

…

“Here, it’s a good temperature, I already checked,” you pass Neji the bottle. He checks it again anyway and you can’t help but smile at how overprotective and parental he's being. It's so bittersweet to see him like this.

“Here you go sweetheart, just for you,” Neji smiles, cradling the pup as they latch onto the bottle with fervour. “Shh, shh, shh, slow down, it’s not going anywhere.”

Neji feeds the pup and then burps them, and you pretend you can’t see him smiling when he notices that they are starting to smell like him. You need to know you can keep her before you let him get even more attached.

“I’m going to send a clone for a medic, now.”

The room became tense all at once.

“They’re fine, I’m looking after them,” Neji protests.

“I know, and you’re doing a good job, but we still need a medic, Neji.”

Neji holds the pup more tightly to his chest, tucking an extra blanket around them. He's using the special blanket you had got commissioned for your pup. You can feel your heart break at the sight. He's already attached. Now you just have to hope you can keep them. For his sake.

“I don’t want them to take the pup away like last time,” Neji admits softly. "I can look after them, I won't let anything happen like last time, I promise. They'll be safe, we don't need a medic."

“We need to know their primary and secondary gender, omega, and we need to make sure they aren’t sick after being left in the woods…”

Neji hesitates but nods his consent in the end after you explain that your pup could become ill if left untreated. You don’t tell him that you are also sending a clone to the Hokage. Naruto will be able to grant you and Neji the right to keep the pup, and you hope that as Neji’s friend, he’ll be able to see how much he needs this.

…

You have to move Neji and the pup downstairs to wait for the medic, because Neji would not appreciate someone unknown seeing his nest he made for his pup. He’s not expecting Naruto to show up as well so you go to the door to intercept and prep them both.

“Thank you so much for coming, Naruto, I can’t tell you how much this means to me and Neji,” you say, hugging him as he walks through the door.

“I’m going to do everything I can,” he promises. “If the medic finds signs of long-term neglect, I can take the parental rights away from the biological parents straight away, even if I don't know who they are, and transfer you the rights.”

Your face visibly brightens, but Naruto continues.

“But if the only injuries are from laying in the forest for a few hours, I’ll have to try and find the parents first, because the child may have been taken from them by force, when the pup was otherwise a healthy baby being looked after sufficiently. In that circumstance, I’ll have to take the child back with me and put them in foster care until a three-month window has passed. And if the parents are found…”

“I know,” you sigh. “Let’s just get this done as soon as possible.”

The three of you walk into the living to see Neji cradling the pup tightly against his chest.

“Hey Neji,” Naruto greets softly with a sad smile. “I haven’t seen you around for a while.”

Neji tenses upon seeing Naruto.

“Naruto? Why are you here?” Neji clearly misinterprets the situation, holding the pup even more tightly and turning accusatory eyes against you. “Why did you bring him here?”

“I’m here to determine whether the pup was abandoned or kidnapped to the best of my abilities, once we have that done, we can decide how things are going to happen, okay?”

“How do you decide that?” Neji asks with distrustful eyes.

“The medic will give them a check-up, completely routine, I promise,” Naruto speaks with a soft voice like he’s talking to a cornered animal. Well, you look at Neji for a moment who is coiled as tightly as spring, he’s not far off.

It takes about five minutes for you to convince Neji to let go of the pup and hand them to the mednin, and then the next fifteen minutes involve you holding him in your arms to stop him wrestling the pup back from the mednin.

And then, rather ominously, the mednin pulls Naruto aside to talk.

Neji is shaking in your arms.

“It’s okay, calm down, Neji,” you try to comfort him.

“I can’t-“ Neji chokes, hands fisting in your shirt. “He has our pup, you let them take our pup.”

You don’t bother to correct him on his use of ‘our’, knowing it would only upset him more.

“I know baby, but they need to see that they’re healthy, nothing’s wrong, just breathe.”

Neji doesn’t take your advice.

"Last time they took them-"

"This isn't like last time, omega. Come one, try and settle down a little, that's it."

...

Naruto eventually walks back in, holding the pup securely, the mednin nowhere to be seen.

“So,” Naruto says seriously. And then his face breaks out into a wide grin. “Am I right in thinking you want to adopt?”

You can almost feel your relief in the air. Thanking every power that be for this stroke of luck. Losing this pup could have easily meant losing your mate, and the gravity of the situation all comes crashing down at once. Neji looks as though he is feeling much the same.

“Give me them,” he orders, arms out.

“Her,” Naruto corrects. “The mednin said she’s a female alpha.”

Tears start welling up in Neji’s eyes as he takes her. Their bio pup was a female alpha, too.

“Thank you,” he whispers to no one, holding his new pup as tightly as he dared. “I’ve got you now, you’re safe and sound with me, I won’t let anything hurt you ever again.”

Naruto slips out of the house without a fuss, dropping the mednin’s recommendations for feeding the underweight pup on the coffee table.

...

You and Neji take your new pup upstairs and bundle her back into the nest. Neji lays down with her, stroking her cheek as he watches her sleep.

“You need to get some rest too, omega,” you suggest, running a hand down Neji’s back.

“Guard?” he asks in response.

“Yes," you smile at his protective instincts. "I’ll guard the nest while you sleep, I promise.”

“Okay, alpha…” Neji settles down, still with one hand resting on the pup. “But if I don’t wake up when she cries, wake me… I want to be the one to feed her.”

You laugh gently, “Of course, now get some sleep. I’ll guard you both.”