#def gotta add a read more bc this long as shit

[cornrowsandcornbread]

i’ve suspected i was asexual since last year when i realized that people literally got horny looking at strangers. i was so shocked! i have formally participated in saying comments about celebs like “oouuu they could get it (which i don’t do now)” because i just assumed everyone was using it to exaggerate how fine/beautiful someone was, not cuz they literally wanted to sex them up! when i realized that i actually felt kinda violated bc i was like “what if someone i don’t know has felt that way about me?” lol. and i’m alloromantic so i’ve had a few crushes in my life, and even then i was never sexually attracted to them. but bc i have an interest in having sex, and i watch “adult films,” (once again, i’ve never been attracted to the people in them. matta fact, most of the time i think they’re quite unattractive lmao) and i read explicit stories from time to time, i thought i couldn’t be asexual.

it’s bc i’ve always thought asexuality = sex repulsion, virgin, complete distaste for sex, sexual activities, and sexual conversations. and for many aces, that is what it means, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. tbh, in this very hypersexualized world we live in, i truly love that for y’all. but while that is what asexuality means for some, that’s not what it means for all. learning about the spectrum of asexuality “sex repulsion -> sex neutrality -> sex positivity/favorable” and learning that sexual attraction ≠ sexual action has been a great help. you could truly have sex with 1000 people in your life time, you could genuinely enjoy all 1000 sexual… sessions (idk how else to word it lmao), but if you were sexually attracted to none of your sexual partners, you’re just as asexual as anyone else. and that’s been very validating to learn. the definition of asexuality is little to no sexual attraction. like that’s it, there’s nothing more to it. another thing that kept me from realizing i was asexual is it always seemed like weirdo yt people shit. but black asexuals exist. and it’s not yt people shit, i mean last time i checked i was a nigga! the last thing is that i still like to do “sexual/sensual” things. like, one thing about me? i’m gon twerk! and i wanna be a majorette, a style of african american dance that can be pretty sensual, and ik when i finally get my dream wardrobe it’s gonna be A LOT of shirts that show lots of cleavage, and other things of that nature. like i thought that asexuality kinda meant that you don’t wanna show off your body or that you don’t like feeling sexy yk? or that you’re just an all round shy person but that’s not true at all. asexuality, like every sexual orientation, is not as strict as i convinced myself it was. idk i feel good right now knowing this about myself. and this is my only outlet for the time being. not that i can’t tell my family, i truly think they would support me and/or not really gaf tbh lmao. especially my sister who i suspect may also be on the ace spectrum by our conversations (she may not be full on ace but i think she’s somewhere on there), but i just don’t even know how to start the conversation so i haven’t. seems like something that’s a big deal to me but wouldn’t be a big deal to other people yk idk i’m just talking atp. anyways, NIGGA ACES EXIST! I AM ASEXUAL. I’M A SEX FAVORABLE ASEXUAL. I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS 👍🏽. THAT IS ALL

[scover-va]

YOUR ART IS SO COOL!! also i think if the haunted house au was an actual sjm mod sado's spawn area would be the prison from the hex where lazarus frees sado except you're in the first person pov of lazarus (except you're also not lazarus you're some guy who went into a mansion and now has to face the consequences. maybe instead of hitting the buttons with the gun like in the hex you hit them with the axe), and when you free sado and she disappears suddenly everything becomes dark. everyone in the cells disappears and a hallway that wasnt there before opens up back at the beginning and the lasers disappear (i feel like it would be much easier to explain what im talking about if i drew it but that would require making a hex sideblog so i can show you. and ive been procrastinating making a hex sideblog). i think sado's chase would be like a dark void behind her with eyes in it (like specimen 7's wall. except it wouldnt instakill if you touched it bc i think that would be unfair) and the walls during the chase would also be completely dark with eyes on them (also like specimen 7). i think sado would be able to go through walls quicker like specimen 8 also. idk how much damage she would deal yet or all the other specimen stat stuff they put on the sjm wiki but i hope my rambling isnt incomprehensible im going to go back and make sure theres no run on sentences so its actually readable -sjm anon

Okok finally answering this bc I gotta get over my fear of. Im not sure what it is but boy does it exist.

Aight first bc im gonna go in chronological-ish order with this: Ty!!! Gonna try to make more concept designs and shit this weekend, we'll see hehe. Gotta add a read more bc its long so. Yeah

Honestly?? I do like the concept of Sado having to be freed as a reference to vg2 in the actual au. Not to mention the horror aspect. Might serve as some sort of fun transition type thing. Maybe between FPP and Reggie/Jeremiah's thing?? Bc i DO have her whole thing planned out when it comes to the actual encounter, but also it might help solidify my plans with R+J. And yeah Lionel would DEF be facing the consequences of goin into the mansion so like. Smth smth poor wet paper towel of a man or whatever.

i DID have to google Specimens 7 + 8 despite rping an au of sjm with my gf, bc i COMPLETELY forget which specimen is which. And also I didnt see all their designs, so like. Yknow. Forgot the cat was surrounded by weird flesh walls tbh and I was VERY confused. I did recognize the 2 tho!! So I mean. I get brownie points for that, right? /j I also saw the game over thing for if Spec. 8 kills you, bc my gf sent it to me. That fucker reminds me of Bone Lord in a way I can't explain /pos

Also yeah i DO gotta figure out actual stats for these bitches huh. Might also ref. sjm for that bc my only ideas for stats would be like. Health and damage. Sooo yknow. Idk what the stats in sjm are but im assuming theres gotta be AT LEAST 1 or 2 more than that. I'd watch a playthrough but bc of that au my gf and i did i already know the important lore and shit, and i get bored VERY easily so. We'll see what happens. And personally playing it aint an option. I cant personally play horror games, im a coward.

Also dw sjm anon, i COMPLETELY understand the bit abt the ramble being comprehensible or not. I have gone on many rambles to my friends/gf that probably made 0 sense, but who cares bc im havin fun

Going back to a thing I mentioned earlier, I'll go over my R+J plans I figured out while rambling to my gf in a different post, bc I wanna make a proper post abt that. And also with the new Sado ideas I need to solidify some stuff first lmao

[costellos]

LOL A 401K IM DEAD but honestly...... tru

all that tax stuff, retirement plans.... nanami’s got it covered. and then there’s gojo, committing tax fraud 🤧 i’d compare gojo to salt as a seasoning but that’s kinda mean, he does have some flavor. like, sugar probably suits him better?? sweet, can be addicting, but bad for you if have too much of it 🙈 AND THEN NANAMI. man’s the whole spice rack, he wouldn’t have it anything less since he loves food so much 😤 he is, as we say, umami personified 🤌

yeah, it’s unfortunate lmfao but oh well. i do occasionally have them in a smoothie though, like you said!

alsjfhsha it’s def time consuming.... like i’d be sitting down w my family and when i’m finally done picking it all out, they’ve finished eating welp 😭 and yeah, the rational part of me knows that, but i’m that person someone has to go up the service worker for and be like “excuse me she asked for no pickles” (except i didn’t 🙈) i’m much better in restaurants bc the language barrier isn’t as intimidating so i will tell them to leave out an ingredient if it’s something i can’t easily take out

mmmmm i can see that! he’d be the guy who’d eat pizza with a fork and knife wouldn’t he lol. and dab all the excess oil off w a napkin. he probably only goes to the Legit pizza places too haha but i think if he likes you enough he can be convinced to eat almost anywhere

ofc!! ask games are more fun if it goes both ways 😌 and ooooo tsumu! interesting...... 👀 those are honestly such good date ideas w a guy like atsumu! that’d rly be smth he’d enjoy and ngl the moment i read ‘something physical’ i immediately imagined y’all racing LMAO. he’s a prime example of how competition can be good for you w the right person, so i can see you filling in the space osamu left after he decided to focus more on his food aspirations. like imagine making cute lil bets w him and the loser having to do what the winner wanted hehe. omg a double date w the miya twins would be sm fun tho??? from my impression of you so far, i definitely trust you to keep tsumu in line lmfao so catch me there. me and osamu are the ones spectating and judging your guys’ competitions and cheering you on to beat atsumu like we’re olympic commentators or smth LOL

aaaaa i’m honestly p shy but if anything can get me to come off anon, it’d be nanamin 😂 (it’s like we’re todo and yuji bonding over their shared type but w nanami skdjfjsjsjs) let me know if you prefer to keep it here or on discord and i’ll give you my account, whichever platform you like better! also congrats on 1k! much deserved!! 🎉

cut for length!

A;LDSKJ GOJO WOULD COMMIT TAX FRAUD. lmao salt is a lil mean!! sugar is more fitting <3 sugar is also used for more fun foods, and I feel like it matches him bc of his sweet tooth. but Nanami........ o lawd. definitely the whole spice rack yes. 100% agree. pls I would use him in everything. wait was that a weird thing to say?

ah I totally understand! well, u got this friend. the next time u go out for Mexican food, I’ll be there cheering for u in spirit!!

and yes.... ugh... I don’t think he’s particularly picky, he’ll try anything. he just doesn’t like foods that are excessive, if that makes sense? like what you were saying with the grease. I think he’s more the type to like subtle flavors. an obnoxious meat lover’s pizza from The Hut would be a no go, but he’s down for a, quote, Legit Pizza Place. the kind of Italian restaurant that’s authentic! but let’s admit it, by that point it wouldn’t even technically be “pizza.” authenticity comes with a price :’)

ty friend you’re far too kind 🥺 AND PLS YOU’RE MAKING ME BLUSH OVER MY LAPTOP HHHHHHH. I would love nothing more than to fill the Osamu-shaped hole in his heart once they both go into their separate careers. and god..... don’t encourage him. or me. I would definitely make bets w him. and I would win. but thank you sweet anon, I would do my best to keep him from annoying the shit out of you!! it would be an honor to have you and Osamu comment on our tomfoolery. 👉👈

MY GOD I WAS ABOUT TO KEYBOARD MASH AGAIN. we’re definitely Todo and Yuji.... u like Nanami and so now I’m obligated to imagine a whole life we coulda had together in high school together. even tho I graduated five years ago. and I’m assuming you did some time ago too since you mentioned you’re old...... lordt. anyway! thank you for the congrats!! I would love to discuss more headcanons and such w you over Discord! dm me and I’ll add you so that we can sob over Nanami’s absence in the anime <33

nanamin date anon said: me, rewatching eps 9-13 on replay until the new episode comes out: hahaha i love all the jjk characters equally! nanamin and *looks at smudged writing on hand* the extras

lol i love them all rly, it’s just super refreshing to have an adult like nanami in a shounen

haha yeah, i’m definitely glad i’m not the oldest (bc that’s way too much responsibility for me, idk how they do it) so being player 2 as a younger sibling isn’t too bad, especially since it’s the story that i’m usually more interested in rather than the gameplay itself. i don’t have to worry about remembering which buttons to press in a fight when i can just watch the plot play out lol. (it’s definitely a good game, i just suck at the controls 😅 my brother let me play a bit and i couldn’t get the web swinging down i was struggling so bad aslfjjfsjak) what sort of games are you into? 👀

even if it’s boring to some ppl, watching is a good way to experience the game for yourself as well, esp if it’s a single player game! ofc i do tend to prefer multiplayer games, but it’s not too dissimilar to watching someone play a sport tbh. AND NO KENMA IM PRO-SIDEQUEST LIVE OUT YOUR COMPLETIONIST DREAMS. if we gotta fetch that dude a super rare item to unlock his backstory we MUST do it ok

YEAH! mikorin is also voiced by noya’s va! it’s honestly a shame gsnk didn’t get a second season, it’s so good 😔

me: lol does that mean kuroo’s your tomoda

kenma: ok this date is over

LMFAOOOOO not my fault the popular choices are the ones that get you the good end 😤 and it’s all good, i’m also guilty of replaying to see how the other choices impact the story haha. if there’s no save system tho, i’d make him switch out w me every time we replay bc i’d zone out at all the repeat stuff (bless games that have a skip option 🙏)

UGH TELL ME ABOUT IT!!! ok so I love the other charas too but.... Nanami’s so good. so good. iono about you, anon, but I went back and rewatched his episodes from the dub and it made me Feel Things. and I agree, it is refreshing to see an adult like him in shounen. esp since he treats the kids like kids. and he makes it clear that their being kids is never a bad thing. I will reiterate: he’s so good.

ahhh friend that’s so nice!. your brother sounds really chill. plus it sounds like a good balance: you get to watch the story, and he gets to dick around!! win-win. and as for my fav games, I’m up for anything! I try to avoid co-op games like Overwatch bc I get too competitive and I’m a sore loser lmao (but they are fun!). the last games I played were the Last of Us 2 and Persona 5, two very different games, but stuff that’s a good time nonetheless. tbh as long as I can immerse myself in the story and there’s tons to explore, I’m down. what about you?? you’d kind of mentioned otome games and Animal Crossing, but I’m curious!

hm. interesting. that’s a nice way to look at it. I guess if it’s a really good game, it’s no different from an interactive movie! also Kenma would love that omg you’re going to save so many villages in the rpgs he plays w you.... gotta max out EVERYTHING. every side quest! every mundane task!! collect literally every feather!!! but I feel like he would pass the time by making idle conversation. like some dumb shit Lev had mentioned earlier that day. such a nice way to unwind at the end of the day, shit talking Lev w his fav person 😌

anyway! going back to completionist stuff: Kenma would have such a blast going back and replaying games w you! and yes bless games w a skip option hhh. thankfully he’d remember all your previous choices together, so he can help navigate where to go next. he has no qualms handing the controller over, I think he’d love to curl up next to you and analyze how you play! but I also feel like he’d be giving unwarranted suggestions....... thanks, Kenma.

also, about Mikorin’s va: WHAT. OH MY GOD. so many things to learn..... pls. indulge me w your trivia.

[studioobrien]

OMG you are in MFA?? I was thinking of going into it! Are you in ur final yr? If so what are your experiences of masters?

yeah :) almost done wit it *screams*  (bc I didn’t wanna do my masters I wanted to work after undergrad it’s a long story) I think the degree is kind of useless because it’s really all about the work & the background I grew up in really brainwashed me into thinking grades matter more (lol they don’t) with art the work matters more tbh

I think with an MFA you gotta use your school and other schools around u (that have the same degrees offered, so like even if you don’t get into them, stay connected to the poeple that go there) to get the most out of it

A lotta the stuff you learn, you learn by yourself, so it’s a lot of trial & error I think the more you make stuff the quicker you’ll be able to find what you like, what you’re good at what you wanna say with your work. Keep at it, don’t put yourself down after making one thing you’re not 100% happy with. I can give you resource of where you can learn things, let me know if u want it :)

You gotta learn to let go of control which a lot of ppl don’t know how to.

Keep your notes digitized, because notebooks can get messy really quick & suddenly you can’t understand what you wrote / Save all your lectures etc

It’s no surprised that even at the graduate level it's predominately white dudes in the class with the most to say but the least interesting stories/work. You gotta pretend that they don’t exist bc in reality, they are over saturating the field.

Don’t do what the white guys in your class do, that’s my biggest advice. Ignore their stories never let yourself feel jealous, because there really is nothing to feel competitive about especially when nothing they make is exciting or personal. I see a lotta jealously mainly coming from white guys towards non white students lmao. It’s so funny to me. It’s def cliquey don’t take it person, it’s just white people shit lmao... 

If you’re a white dude I don’t mean to offend it’s just my observation, I just think you gotta dig deeper into what you want to say & learn to expand your horizons about the stories out there. Don’t be afraid to not be the one in charge of things, make sure your crew is not mainly white, representation matters behind and in front of the camera. 

I know it’s not really MFA related it’s kind of general advice but I wanna add this one thing too -- watch short films a lot and all the time. If you wanna watch movies, sure watch some mainstream ones I don’t like when ppl get all snobby about that, do what you like & what u enjoy & don’t let what ppl say affect how u are <3 Also try to expand what kind of stuff you watch, try to watch foreign movies, try to watch older more obscure movies. 

Read the scripts of your favorite movies, it’s just a great way to learn story structure etc 

If you want resources on this I’m happy to help, lmk 

[maternalcube]

aaaaa tagged by @thespace-dragon thanks mogi :O

1) How many works do you currently have in progress?

fuck so many. i mean ao3 wise i have a series that needs finishing and another i kinda said id add to, no actual unfinished fics. but like in terms of just, things im working on?? SO MANY. i dont know offhand but i make lists sometimes, its probably like ~15

2) Do you/would you write fanfiction?

all those wips i mentioned above are fic lol. i do technically have... a couple of original things... but theyve been on the backburner for a while bc i keep signing up for shit and i have too much trouble switching story gears when im in this deep so i just gotta... finish all this fic first........

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

nnnn lately ebooks bc i can put em on my ipod and read them on the train. also i have run out of space for books, my bookcase is overflowing and ive got a pile a foot high on my nightstand, they just keep accumulating help me

4) When did you start writing?

all my life idk. i think ive been telling stories as long as ive been able to literally write tbh. but like, in some more serious since maybe when i was 11-12? and then my first stab at nano was when i was 14, so yeah.

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

deeeepends. ficwise, i have the Most trouble finding a good beta and my work is so varied that its hard to get anyone or even a few people that are willing to cover that range? i send stuff to @tfwnoshiro a bunch tho. ofic, tho, i always send to my brother, hes part of my target audience and isnt afraid to tell me when ive left giant holes or am just generally being stupid :')

6) Where is your favorite place to write?

implying i write anywhere but on the train anymore rip. theres also this one chair in my grandmas house that i liked, but it was also the Designated Nap Chair so maybe im biased.

7) Favorite childhood book

ooh it depends on like, what stage of childhood lmao. seconding eragon tho, that was a fave. also my side of the mountain (or smth like that? i think thats what its called). also the young wizards series and tortall series (i think im following both those authors on here :v ). also shoutouts to dragonhaven by robin mckinley and fire by kristin cashore (and graceling and bitterblue but, especially fire). is it any surprise i cant just pick one? lmao i wish i still had time to read, i barely even read fic anymore.

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

for fun, mostly, lately. have tried to get published in some small ways (i wonder what happened to that collab novel...) but havent been terribly successful, nor have i been working at it very hard bc i wanna get fandom stuff out of the way...

9) Pen and paper or computer?

for plotting? pen and paper. for actual writing? def computer (or at least my tablet hhh, its less distracting (i say like im not on tumblr on it at this very second))

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

i took a creative writing class in high school! not sure what i got out of it tho. im also taking (kind of paused on them actually) a couple of really good online classes from holly lisle which have taught me SO much you would not believe (and here i am wasting it all on fic lolll).

11) What inspires you to write?

vvfgfvfgfv idk, life? i guess a lot of media can trigger it, esp movies, but also just random things in daily life. anythign that kicks off a daydream will probably worm its way into a story eventually lol

gonna tag perk who i already mentioned, also @dylogger and @queenmogar117 aaand @stickywrites and @adjit. no pressure tho. :)

[t--o--f--u-blog]

☼☼☼☼☼ also think tank a white lecturer using the n-word when quoting literature in a lecture? I think she used it once outside of quotation as well certainly not meant in a disrespectful way, just seems unnecessary

☐☐☐☐☐ better have a justification at least but if you just use it out of the blue it always seems like some attempt at provocation 'i can say this because my interests are purely academic'

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm we're reading uncle tom's cabin, so it's hard to avoid

☐☐☐☐☐ should only be quoted verbatim if absolutely necessary, if there's no alternative I think

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah seems like she could have avoided it pretty easily

☐☐☐☐☐ if she's making no acknowledgement of the word's relationship to her privilege, that's rly not good

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah she's older so there might just be an outdated perspective there 'I'm just quoting the text, it was anti-slavery so I'm fine' sort of mentality maybe?

☐☐☐☐☐ still she would know about the contemporary attitude to the word and she should at least mention that! ugh like it doesn't sound malicious or super super racist, but eh

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah I feel iffffy about it

☐☐☐☐☐ should mention it!

☼☼☼☼☼ Trying to work out if I should send email and if so how to word it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ be interesting to actually properly discuss it

☐☐☐☐☐ yep

☍☍☍☍☍ heck I’d be interested to know more of a history of the word basically teach properly why its offensive

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah, I might bring it up in the tutorial different teacher, but maybe good discussion

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that seems appropriate i'd love to hear how that goes

☍☍☍☍☍ uhhh there was someone who used it at Bar Oussou  the host reallllly should’ve said something and I normally would but just too tired for confrontation

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah ☐☐☐☐☐ was telling me Sounded very cringe

☐☐☐☐☐ v unfortunate most disappointed in yhe host tbh

☐☐☐☐☐ he maybe had a old-worldy attitude to it and didn't mind or was too cowardly lol which do u think?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think he thought it was in the context of the poem she didn’t use it to degrade someone directly, but the word itself is degrading

☐☐☐☐☐ ugh but the poem is in the context of fuckin oussou yep ppl need to have a think before using words

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think its great to have a stage to do emotional work, but it can cross a line into normalising shitty white behaviour

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I went to a coloured school so I can’t b racist wah wah wah

☐☐☐☐☐ and you have to consider your audience if your rant is dehumanising or brushes aside/causes suffering u gotta reconsider felt pretty ashamed on behalf of bartender/various black audience members not saying that dumb white shit would be acceptable with a different audience, but her obliviousness was kinda astounding

☼☼☼☼☼ wow yeah cringefest

☍☍☍☍☍ lol spoken word scene as a whole can b so lame haha rings true to why I/we left

☐☐☐☐☐ mm so macho! that's what I liked about talkbox some sensitivity there, gentleness

☍☍☍☍☍ still, I just wish people read more lok *lol

☐☐☐☐☐ yep I wish I read more

☍☍☍☍☍ like the stylistic range is generally pretty lame

☐☐☐☐☐ I guess that's why anyone reads mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ I wish I read more too

☐☐☐☐☐ hahahaha

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ don’t mean to shit on everyon, I just think the scene as a whole and the conception of poetry is lacklustre - it doesn’t seem like the time for poetry, sometimes

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ppl too distracted by netflix uwu sounds like phones but too much

☐☐☐☐☐ doesn't seem like the time for art, sometimes! hahhh

☍☍☍☍☍ its definitely a time for music

☼☼☼☼☼ I think there's a place for poetry It's just raps and memes

☍☍☍☍☍ yeh but I play dat long game there might not b a place now but I’mma fkn make one whether you like it or not lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Oh yeah fair go 4 it

☐☐☐☐☐ loll

☍☍☍☍☍ I just mean that I think 'poetry' has evolved into other forms, and now the traditional form is struggling to find a place I mean does anyone pay attention to Victorian satirical cartoons? I don’t I think it’s also tho that the low brow is more apparent in the moment, the high brow more apparent from a distance the shit sinks, basically

☼☼☼☼☼ elaborate?

☍☍☍☍☍ time brings forward higher brow material while a lot of lower brow stuff falls back or like there’s an art for getting through your days, and there’s an art for elaborate long form spiritual liberation

☼☼☼☼☼ so u don't mind about a lack of audience now if your work has staying power?

☍☍☍☍☍ different works have different digestion time and yes that is what I’m saying

☼☼☼☼☼ hmmmmmmm

☍☍☍☍☍ hmmmmmmmm?

☐☐☐☐☐ personally I don't know whether I'm prioritising the reception of my work or its value to me right now i feel poetry/art in general are useful tools for thinking about the world useful philosophical tools i guess and idk whether i'm learning for the sake of my own knowledge/making 'better' art or learning so what I put out into the world is better received I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive but yeah - feeling fairly indifferent to the idea of creating work that will persist right now part of me feels more comfortable with being lost forever lol or at least that I should become comfortable with that, bc that is what will happen inevitably

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think in this atmosphere of complete denial of the arts as an important component of society, as well as the stigmatisation of ritual and other mystical practices that used to house what we now might describe as an artist, its important that we follow our intuition rather than give in to a system that routinely prevents us having access to basic resources like I want to be there for whoever is there when this period comes to end and those peoples are looking for anything to rudder them, whether or not I’m alive

☐☐☐☐☐ you want to add to the cultural record?

☍☍☍☍☍ I want provide a map for future generations is how I would put it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm how do you feel one can ensure the persistence of their own work? or are you just hoping it'll be around for others I suppose whether or not anything lasts is out of ur control past a certain point

☍☍☍☍☍ for one I make an effort to give away a lot of work

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I also store it all and make sure that that stockpile is kept w care but I also think there’s something to be said that I try and operate within many pre-existing canons I also it’s important to use the more meme-y, short stay work to bring attention to the slower works yeah, re: canons, like tanka and before that wakka as poetic forms stem back as far as a thousand years - perhaps more by putting myself in conversation with the ancients... idk it feels a bit like entering a cultural refrigerator haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ sometimes I find it better to see my individual works as modules that make up a whole more prescient than its parts (Morton lolz) soo... maybe my work won’t carry the same weight until I finish, so to speak who knowsss but this how I think about it lol

☐☐☐☐☐ best to try and contribute something I spose rather than do nothing w ur resources

☍☍☍☍☍ I’m weird with this shit u don’t have to be

☐☐☐☐☐ mm it seems fairly simple to me and not that weird

☍☍☍☍☍ not everyone should spend their life tending their gravestone it’s a job for a particular type of person, and I am it

☐☐☐☐☐ but in a sense everyone does anyway everyone does things with the future in mind or without it in mind I suppose

☐☐☐☐☐ and i guess that influences what you leave when you die eheh, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously

☍☍☍☍☍ I just am particularly stubborn that I have something to offer - I think its partially a result of being denied that a lot in school, I found other ways to have social bonds that were more... non linear bonds with past peoples, and inadvertently bonds with future people

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I find it frustrating that its seen as arrogant to suggest your work should be read after you die - if anything its remarkably humble as I'm acknowledging that I will never properly see the fruits of my labour it's a ridiculously isolating position to find oneself in, where your best friends - books, music, content - have no form of human intimacy with you and completely defy all survivalistic, lizard-brain humanity plus you're just on a total different dimension from most people you meet

☐☐☐☐☐ mm you're in a very specific position here

☍☍☍☍☍ lol goodluck catching up ☼☼☼☼☼

☼☼☼☼☼ unrelated btw

(☼☼☼☼☼ posts a meme in chat)

☍☍☍☍☍ see y'all @ da rally (in reference to the meme)

☐☐☐☐☐ where and when is this? oh oops thought you meant a real one

☼☼☼☼☼ hahaha

☍☍☍☍☍ xD

☼☼☼☼☼ structurally is the meme ok ? took the photo the other day, and just added the text.

☍☍☍☍☍ yes are u going to weigh in on the conversation tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ nah not really

☍☍☍☍☍ meme fine

☼☼☼☼☼ I have so little to add

☍☍☍☍☍ well hm why make memes? why not write novel? do memes have staying power?

☐☐☐☐☐ it's a question of what timescale is important to you at any given time maybe

☍☍☍☍☍ oh absolutely - not trying to infer a hierarchy here, I just think there are different approaches for different problems

☐☐☐☐☐ sometimes I'll say something to someone so they'll remember it for tomorrow, sometimes I'll say something to someone and hope they'll remember forever lol mm I don't think I care about staying power that much

☐☐☐☐☐ memes have such a short lifetime, they're like cultural mayflies haha

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah defs

☍☍☍☍☍ why tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Because the art itself can date while still inspiring change

☍☍☍☍☍ yeah so using it pragmatically like a single use tissue

☼☼☼☼☼ If you create something short lived, it (with the help of other artists producing similar work) is able to push art and society in a specific direction The butterfly effect I guess

☍☍☍☍☍ it's true that you have more effect in the current conversation

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ but that conversation draws intensively on a language formed by the ancients so the two are dependent on each other, a back and forth

☐☐☐☐☐ and that's dependent on their work's longevity?

☍☍☍☍☍ not following ur question

☐☐☐☐☐ not following your point haha hmm

☼☼☼☼☼ so you're suggesting a works longevity is crucial in that it helps reinforce and update the ancient language in which short term work of the future will be influenced by?

☐☐☐☐☐ mm also - what if of all the work you make, it's only a meme that survives the passage of time?

☍☍☍☍☍ basically... like you're just reiterating points that have been made more in depth in 'higher' brow culture - that's definitely how I feel when writing raps

☐☐☐☐☐ like Roman graffiti surviving on the walls or whatever

☍☍☍☍☍ did you a hear copy of the I Ching, the Chinese numerology classic more than a thousand years old, was found in the 70s and had a heap more sections and a different order? effectively completely changing the understanding of the I Ching gotta get those nice lead storage chambers ayyyyy ahahaha it was found buried in a coffin, obvs haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ a lot of Chinese philosophers only exist in so much as someone else described them

☼☼☼☼☼ But what does that changing of contexts of that piece actually mean for us? Is updated Ching from the coffin helping us in any way?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think for me finding the I Ching and looking over it is like a person in a thousand years finding a functional iPhone it gives great insight into human impulses regardless of time and offers a way of writing the past a new, which in turn presents a new future (thinking of the cowboy article you sent me) reconceptualizing the past IS the future look at 'Make America Great Again' or calls to restore the caliphate both are founded on histories that have more to do with our current state than the actual happenings of the past

☼☼☼☼☼ I do see where you're coming from I like the idea that it's important to preserve our work for understand the past better And I hope that someone in the future will have a clearer understanding of our time through your well preserved works But what fucking future is it

☍☍☍☍☍ haha but like looking back we see people been asking that for a veeery long time I get it seems on a new scale but we're on a new scale too

☼☼☼☼☼ It does seem that yes Also if we do survive and keep on teching on

☍☍☍☍☍ I'm for an integration of the human/natural binary where we properly acknowledge our mutual codependency, the earth and humanity that is

☼☼☼☼☼ Are we even going to be translatable? Is the functioning iPhone found by the future person going to even be able to be translated? Or will it be meaningless because everyone is already part of the grid

☍☍☍☍☍ where artificially effecting the climate for the benefit of 'nature' isn't seen as strange but completely akin to Aboriginal burn back practices

☐☐☐☐☐ i guess it's productive to hope that it will be translatable

☍☍☍☍☍ we've always interfered in the running of nature

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ehhh idk we translated fucking hieroglyphics

☼☼☼☼☼ Or future tech can look into the past and someone is watching our lives as we type this now, constantly being understood through our context in a way we can't comprehend through our recording processes shrugs

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean yeah, imagine if the internet was even vaguely archived

☼☼☼☼☼ You probably have a better understanding of how the future will pan out than I do tho

☍☍☍☍☍ even if 0.1 % was kept, it would be a massive resource

☼☼☼☼☼ No sass intended there, I'm sincere

☍☍☍☍☍ lol idk I just try to see a bigger picture and it keeps me calm remember me old saying? we survived the plague and nukes lol

☼☼☼☼☼ I just don't see the issue with creating short term work, especially if it is preserved

☍☍☍☍☍ oh neither do I

☼☼☼☼☼ Like a meme may have more impact than a novel rn

☐☐☐☐☐ well it could be argued that we're yet to survive nukes but I see your point impact on various timescales

☼☼☼☼☼ I've heard the plague make be thinking of making a comeback too haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ oh duh peasantry is fully hip rn

☐☐☐☐☐ but like

☍☍☍☍☍ bring back the boils, they look great with my Balenciaga sneakers

☐☐☐☐☐ lol bubonic chic

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty close to heroin chic tbh haha

☍☍☍☍☍ not jking that was tb

☐☐☐☐☐ but like, I don't find a huge amount of solace in the fact that we survived the plague

☍☍☍☍☍ "The Victorians romanticized the disease and the effects it caused in the gradual build to death. For decades, many beauty standards emulated or highlighted these effects. And as scientists gained greater understanding of the disease and how it was spread, the disease continued to keep its hold on fashion. and the severity of the corsets was known to harm the lungs in such a way that would increase the likelihood of transmission LOOOL

☐☐☐☐☐ mm Balenciaga look out idk it's a question of what capacity we survive in

☼☼☼☼☼ lollllll

☐☐☐☐☐ quite depressing to think about

☍☍☍☍☍ eating disorders have a pretense

☐☐☐☐☐ what if ecocide leaves a few insular eco fascist regimes who gradually diminish over centuries always engaged in pointless wars of attrition with one another lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean you could probably say the same thing of colonial regimes now

☐☐☐☐☐ just because we can survive, doesn't mean my outlook should b at all rosy :((

☍☍☍☍☍ point is its a big ol' world that has plenty of room for pain AND love any future pain you think is imminent probably already is happening, and nonetheless breakfast tasted good this morning

☼☼☼☼☼ 'The hipster middle class would dress with raggedy beards and large jackets and refuse to use deodorant, perhaps to reflect the look of people suffering from homelessness at the time. It is suspected that this made them less likely to be hired, and therefore more likely to become homeless themselves.'  ☍☍☍☍☍ ahahaha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that's true hahhh

☼☼☼☼☼ Planning on making this into a full essay. Might not be popular now, but I think it has staying power? Soz for shitposting haha

☍☍☍☍☍ I was talking with ☲☲☲☲☲ a while back, and something struck me - she said, "I never thought this age would have its own fleet of particular medical conditions." (or something like that lol, translated via my nerd brain)

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah that didn't quite sound like her But that sentiment is great

☍☍☍☍☍ 'fleet'

☼☼☼☼☼ In that ofc there is, but also wow yeah ofc!

☐☐☐☐☐ mmm hahh these conversations should be recorded so we can all think about em without scrolling up endlessly

☼☼☼☼☼ I do like the idea of people reading these works in the future tho

☐☐☐☐☐ and also so that they can be preserved for 10,000+ years of course

☼☼☼☼☼ In the same way we read the letters sent between dead artists now

☐☐☐☐☐ mm very true

☍☍☍☍☍ mmm

☐☐☐☐☐ messenger is not a particularly stable storage medium and also is more vulnerable to third party scrutiny although the fact we're reading artists letters now means that medium is also pretty fucking vulnerable to scrutiny lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I fucking found the word! (sorry was searching for it so hard) Neurasthenia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurasthenia

☼☼☼☼☼ Americanitis lol

☍☍☍☍☍ uhh the page doesn't rly talk about this, but its like a condition of over-working effectively, and people would try and get prescribed the pills to treat it as a way of signalling they were a dedicated worker its total hokey

☐☐☐☐☐ wow yeah you mentioned this a while back

☼☼☼☼☼ oh I've heard a similar thing in Japan were workers will pretend to fall asleep at their desks to show how hard they're working No idea the trust behind it tho

☍☍☍☍☍ to this day, "In Japan, shinkei-suijaku is treated with Morita therapy involving mandatory rest and isolation, followed by progressively more difficult work, and a resumption of a previous social role. The diagnosis is sometimes used as a disguise for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mood disorders." a dignified mental illness uwu none of that lower class shit I'm a classy fuck with money, I don't get the same mental conditions as the poor lolol reminds me of now: I don't have shitty parents, I just have adhd (not to deligitimise all uses of adhd, just over diagnosed)

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm i feel u yes this has been a wild ride

☍☍☍☍☍ yes I’m leaving to get late lunch uwu have a good day in this cosmic spider web lololol

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ Like the burning of this charcoal fire, our years too will soon expire Kobayashi Issa listening to Krista Tippet talk with Maria Popova, this particular phrase resonated with our conversation: we live in a world where disruption over-fetishised; we need cultural stewardship to help along new waves of disruption

☼☼☼☼☼ How would u define cultural stewardship in a practical sense?

☍☍☍☍☍ caring for the legacy of those past as a means of refreshing their insight for a new age a very straightforward example would b the importance of new translations, in this regard - as our understanding and depth of connection to Japanese society has deepened, so too have our translations dusting off the books so to speak in some sense I see that in our music too or reappropriating to a new context

☼☼☼☼☼ Well remasters are a time terry literal example Fuck

☍☍☍☍☍ time terry

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty* not time terry lol

☼☼☼☼☼ lime berry yeah exactly

☼☼☼☼☼ Slime Jerry

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean rereleasing is an obvs example mhm but more abstract examples are how I’ve exported into both your brains Bridle/Steyerl/Haraway via conversation and art lolol I’m helping it move from one place to another same w Zappa lol

☐☐☐☐☐ also - looking after artist friends being generous I feel these are acts of pre-emptive cultural stewardship

☍☍☍☍☍ haha yeah definitely different time scales it could function on

☐☐☐☐☐ looking after and maintain communities

☍☍☍☍☍ hosting open mics lol helping teach ppl poetry lollll

☐☐☐☐☐ not allowing hate speech to creep into open mics lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Truuuuu Or anywhere for that matter

☐☐☐☐☐ not becoming so dusty that you actually have a detrimental impact on cultural progression

☍☍☍☍☍ I think religions only exist in so far as they have active practitioners

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☼☼☼☼☼ Tru

☍☍☍☍☍ I think my sense is, in religion, this same argument plays out with orthodoxy versus mysticism Maintenance of buildings is in there too for religion People being assigned paid positions as the keepers and givers of religious knowledge oh yeah thinking a lot here of Shanzai, ☐☐☐☐☐, and the idea of an object as a lived practice

☐☐☐☐☐ when home I'm gonna do my best to archive this conversation mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ you’re going to steward our conversation bout stewardship ...

☐☐☐☐☐ this is all going in

☍☍☍☍☍ ...the tv where I am says “The comedian getting behind ‘Know Thy Nuts’” and there are big walnuts on the screen

☐☐☐☐☐ ???????

☍☍☍☍☍ “I didn’t realise chemotherapy would be such great comedic material!”

☐☐☐☐☐ ¿¿¿¿¿¿

☼☼☼☼☼ Huhhhh

☍☍☍☍☍ lol highly recommend https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054