#it’s totally cool tho it’s fine
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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn
Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished
And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue
#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like????#unprompted???? what's going on there????#well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking#to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them'#and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually#had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed#and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you!#he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about#'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know#has reinforced that for me#'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect#then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie#I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3#They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that#anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S.#So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them#cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit#I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt#ex christian#religious trauma#child abuse tw
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RANT
#hey boss#u uh- u said i was working sun n wed- can i have more consistent days so i have days to block out for interviews?#.#uve been forewarned#ok so its four months into my gap year and HOLY SHIT JOB SEARCHING IS SO FRUSTRATING#so im working as a clerk at this law firm mon and wed (only 8 hours total tho)#n i THOT i had my reatil job in the bag but then boss goes “yea im really sorry but i cant give u three days - only sundays and weds”#so i was like great ok i need another job thats cool ill just bliock out sundays and weds for potential employers#THEN on sat boss texts n goes “ahhh i dont need u till next week- also can u switch ur wed to fri”. ??????? MA'AM#so i go#she says sorry kid i dont WHICH IS FINE I APPRICIATE THE COMMUNICATION#so i have an interview the next day at a coffee shop for a time THE MANAGER OFFERED#i show up after having pit my day aside for this noon interview#i walk in employees go “uh ho manager stepped out”#she camnt come back for the rest of the day AND doesnt apologize in her email- just “unfourntallyyyy i didnt have time to check my email”#MAAM YOU SEND THE INVITE#whatever#luckily last friday i was invited to this job fair by like four diff locations in san fran n was immeditaly hired#(first trial shift tmr yay!)#but the commute is gonna be KILLER#however im hopeful n i love coffee so yay#also my pet sitting is taking off ive got two sits booked for october#which is suprising bc im also traveling for half the month#manchester edenbrough st andrews milan lake como babayyyyyyy#also this thursday im heading to chicago and maine for a wedding (yay go love!) and to tenessee for another wedding in jan#so now ive got law firm retail associate barista dog sitter n i just KNOW when the holidays roll around n both retail jobs will be wack ill#be floored#but. ahem anywats good things frustrating thinsg stressful things but GOD am i glad i took this gap year#oh yea and ive been hiking tones! lands end trail#tilden park
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my first day at my new store is tomorrow everyone wish me luck
#i’m glad it’s not like. a Totally New Job just a different location#so like i already know how to do the actual work itself#i just have to learn the store layout + backrooms; the managers; where the timeclock and everything are; the passcodes; etc#so really it’s just gonna be a funky transition phase to get used to doing the same work in a different place with potentially different#expectations or rules or work culture in general#it’s rough that it’s gonna be a full 8 hr shift tho like that’s a struggle. but. it’ll be fine#esp since i’m probably either gonna be pushing out halloween product (yay!) or cashiering (extremely familiar to me!)#bc w halloween it’ll be fun bc it’s cool new product that i enjoy looking at#and it’ll help me more with learning the store layout (the only way to learn is exposure and practice after all)#but it’ll maybe be stressful if ppl are asking me for assistance#but that’s inevitable anyway yknow#but with cashiering it’s like. okay that’s smth i am super good at and don’t have to learn anything new for#my only worry is that if it gets slow they might try to get me to help guest service which i do NOT want to be trained in#bc i do NOT want to be given shifts in guest service or expected to help cover them regularly!#bc guest service sucks 🫶#but i think i could weasel my way out of that easily enough. it’s not really a concern
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Actually what being cool is is when you got to the Fertility clinic to get your FtM hormones and the doctor asks u if everything is ok and you are AWESOME so you say yeah except im very horny all the time and she acts like it's normal so you double down and say NO LIKE A CAGED ANIMAL IN HEAT and u *sorta meant it as a joke but more like facetiously cause really u are VERY HORNY and its distressing so the doctor kindly and ever-so-gently explains the biological urge to FUCK to you and you realize you're getting a birds and bees talk at 25 so you triple down and say "its hard to get anythng done i feel dizzy and distracted" and shes like yeah thats normal your body is saying make babies and she isnt really phased by any of this you THINK cause she is a doctor but you leave the office with a referral center for the [redacted} Center for Anxiety and Stress and assurance from a very kind woman that says you just need to bone.
That;s what being cool is and if you don't get it fuck off, preps.
#rabbit rambles#cool#cool and good#mental health#stress#ftm#transgender#im actually totally fine lol it was p embaressing tho#and by embaressing I do mean cool#autism#You ever wonder how your life has become an episode of Watamote and you have to self-reflect a little bit
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btw i will make a sona for myself based on your favorite animal but you have to draw yourself as a jackalope in return
im dead serious
you can be a bunny or a hare, doesn't matter. look up different breeds and species and colors if you want and then give them some kind of horns or antlers (wolpertingers are also fine but they have to be rabbit/hare based it's the rules.) it can also be a hybrid in general and not have strictly rabbit features, i dont wanna limit people too much
my conditions are i wont do bugs for mine (unless its a moth!) i like bugs but i rly dont like looking at photos of some kinds too much and some bugs are too intricate for me to do justice for comfortably in anthro form. i havent practiced that enough also: no open species type things. actual animals or general cryptids please i don't get into open species stuff at all
#fish are totally fine tho i love fish anthros and want to draw them more#im SO SERIOUS reply with an animal and ill start scheming#i love making 50000 sonas#i already have fursonas of: jackalope bunny chicken dragon(x2) lion#so i wont do those again#you havent seen my lion sona because hes in design hell and im taking him very seriously but he exists and i dont want a second one asdjhgd#i will not be hounding you for your “half” its not a concrete agreement as much as “if you do it I'd LOVE to see and think it was cool”#mine might take a while bc I get hung up on designs and have a lot of work to do otherwise so art isnt being done a lot but-#-i promise to think on it and give it a few rough sketches if nothing else unless I somehow get attacked with 100 ideas (but I doubt that)#and if you do make a jackalope even if you never use it again/pass the design on to someone else you should tag me or send it to me#I love seeing them :)#rainy rambles#if nobunny takes me up on this thats ok i just thought it was a fun idea
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how much do i have to pay people to draw eow!Zelda with brown eyes. Like this is not me trying to police how people draw her at all, i just think drawing a cartoony character with black eyes with dark brown eyes is soooo underrated
#josh talks#loz#loz eow#i do this with wind waker link too even tho blue eyes is tempting cuz yknow. the ocean#but seriously brown eyes with blonde hair is underrated#why must it all be blue and green 😔#again just to be safe this is not at all me trying to police how people draw her#i am totally fine with people drawing her with blue/green eyes#it would just be cool to see brown/grey/black eyes more
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Danna talking to Allure Magazine, saying she’s part of the LGBTQ+ community 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜
#no i’m fine my wlw heart is totally fine all good cool byeee#it’s also sad tho- her keeping it to herself#danna#danna paola#love is love#childstar
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i know my previous post was sayin that im tryin to work on not sadposting but this one deserves to be mentioned; i randomly came across a shiny minior in ultra sun two days ago and it self destructed UGHGHHFHFHFHFHFH
#txt#i was just looking for a cleffaaaaaa 😭😭😭 and a shiny minior looks so cool toooooo UGHHHHH#i was kinda zonin out while looking for a decent nature cleffa and heard a sudden shiny sparkle sound effect and was like NOOO WAY?#then it EXPLODED... so sad. its obv fine but like. cmonnnnn...my shiny luck is so bad...and it does this to me#i think the only legit shinies ive ever encountered are a random nidoran in soulsilver#a shiny golbat in soulsilver again when i replayed it#and...now this shiny which just EXPLODED....i dont count the shiny lechonk or altaria i found in scarlet tho. too easy to shiny hunt -#- there. at least its too easy that it doesnt feel rewarding if u find a shiny randomly. like u WILL get one bc of how many pkmn show up#...i would totally hunt for a shiny ribombee. the colors are to die for#last thing related to the minior..its fine ig. minior doesnt seem to be the best pokemon anyway and i tend to box ones like that so.. i -#- wouldnt have used it i suppose?#oh id like to specify that the nidoran and golbat were like max 10 years apart. bad shiny luck
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literally just remembered that i had a dream last night where during part of it i technically got to cuddle with raiden... aga
#ni blabs#~lightning bolt action~#~selfship: eye of the storm~#i say technically b/c like it was a vr sorta thing#so it was just some guy who had a mg*4 avatar#and i ALSO had a mg*4 raiden avatar which is how we even met apparently lol#anyways we decided to hang out during some big vr presentation thing and ig that's how we got to cuddling#but i was like “shit wait this isn't Actually my blorbo so maybe i should cool it with the snuggles”#i think the guy was totally fine with it tho lmao#unrelated but i made a nonsensical bottom text joke verbally at another point but people still laughed at it#they were in my mind so ig they could see my Vision for the joke lol
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i just pre-ordered so many albums to cope !! doing great!!
#im planning on buying skz in person just bc i can#but i got blitzers even tho its just a single bc the colors are fun and i like to support my local nugus#i pre-ordered p1h obvvvv#and ateez OBVVV#those two i wanna have one version for each part of the set#idk if ill keep it up after i finish them bc like. what do you even need kpop albums for kate i mean really#but having the set will be fun i feel like. satisfying#i might keep collecting for p1h tho hmmm#oh and i pre-ordered tnx! their concept photos were soooo cool so i had to get it!!#haha everything is totally fine over here in case you were wondering#text
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Dandilions are invasive, but mostly just in people’s yards and gardens. They’re great for pollinators, and 100% edible to humans. (Maybe not the white fluff, but the seeds that hang there are)
Leaves and flowers for salads, roots for a crunch snack- as long as they’re not roadside or otherwise contaminated, dandelions are a grand old source of vitamins and minerals.
I don’t think dandelions are weeds. I think dandelions are free flowers that four year olds can pick for their mommies
#for potential legal reasons this is not a recommendation to forage#foraging is hella illegal in some places#yes#you can be fined for eating weeds#instead of just picking them as flowers#picking them as flowers is totally cool too tho#we will never run out of dandelions
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server i'm in just instated a rule break warning system that there was no mention of before, because i simped too hard and forgot that "for a man in his 40s ryan can get it" isn't something most people say
have to take it in stride and wear 'being the first to get warned in this server' as a badge of honour i suppose 🤷 at least they didn't ban me LMAO
#ryan's rants#not saying where cause iykyk but if you do know pls don't bitch to the mods that i'm posting abt this#i find it funny tho cause some motherfucker spat this whole wall of text at me#all about how it's weird to think of celebrities in a s*xu*l manner#and all this other shit#like dude they're adults in their 40s. i promise you it's not that weird to simp for them#like they will not be hurt by it. i promise you.#ryan molly and jasmin are gonna be fine even if some 16 year old kid thinks they can. and i quote myself. 'get it'#they only warned me recently as well. like as in its 5pm rn and that's when i got warned and not when it happened#this truly is a certified Mods Are Asleep moment LMFAOOOOO#good to know as well to hide the kinlist from them#if they get this bothered over saying a guy can get it#i'd hate to know what they would think about me being a ryan factkin 💀#it's even more obnoxious like i didn't wanna kin ryan it just sorta happened#as all kins do#went from 'oh he's kinda cool i wish i was him' to 'oh shit i feel like i do be him tho'#i'm not one of those kins who gets memories from the person they are or anything tho#there's just a sorta feeling that i should look this way act this way sound this way etc#like yknow? not at all the point of this post#but just a total side thing LMAO
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I don’t like it when people make fun of people for liking Taylor swift btw. I’m not a fan of her music it’s not my style but like. it’s fine if you like her lol
#specifically dislike when people say she’s not even good at writing music like no actually you’re just dumping on her cuz you think hating#mainstream stuff makes you look cool. people have different tastes it’s fine!#i am fully down to make fun of whatever was happening in that last reblog tho that’s what you get for spending years aggressively#speculating on a total strangers sexuality
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genuinely asking: if I started an art patreon would anyone be interested? loosely playing with the idea of it… it’d probably be early comic access, wips/progress steps/pdfs/speedpaints, and like. A commission tier where u could get a small commission each month for a discounted/flat price? (Or like, I’d be open to suggestions for additional perks. This is just an idea I had, I probably wouldn’t permalock anything behind a paywall, it’d just be early stuff and personalized stuff yk)
#? like lmk. I don’t rly wanna open one and have it totally flop but even a lil extra each month would be fab and help me a lot#pricing is aso a weird concept lol#like for now I like kofi bc it’s cute u can just tip w/out a subscription yk and I like that vibe#but. like. wondering if anyone would be into this#ik a lot of artists do a discord server too w patreon subs but I’m gonna b honest. I’m too shy I would not do well w that 😭#I’m . a hermit. 🦀🐚…#sanchoyorambles#also that new job is not giving me more than 3 hours a day rn and idk if that’s forever or just bc I’m new 🤡 that’s why I’m asking too ngl#like ermmm…I can’t live off this 🗿#typical broke artist stereotype I guess 🧍🏻#but I don’t hate it so far like it’s fine. it’s actually good…? I can kinda work whenever I want to#I wish they’d either give me more hours or a higher pay rate tho lol#but otherwise it’s a pretty decent ideal job for me so far which is cool#I wish I could talk abt it a lil more but…ms. NDA….😞
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SOMETIMES DND IS FUN AND THEN SOMETIMES ONE OF YOUR OWN PARTY TRIES TO FUCKING KILL YOU AND IS VERY SUCCESSFUL
#dw i didnt actually die#thanks to the power of Getting Good despite being dealt twice my total hp while down several already i just dropped to one#and then managed to use my cool new axe to make our bard take his own damage as well#and that actually got him down to 0#hes fine tho he survived (barely)#original thoughts in their natural habitat
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HOW HAIKYUU CHARACTERS WOULD REACT TO YOU COMPLIMENTING ANOTHER PLAYER
a/n - I’m alive I swear 💀 I just rewatched some of haikyuu so I’m more familiar with that rn 😂😂
warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, fluff/crack, pre-timeskip characters btw, I don’t feel like making picture banners for all of them like I do with one piece forgive me for just putting text 🥲
HINATA
- yeah you just broke your bro’s heart into a billion pieces
- remember that time when he got nailed in the crotch by a ball in S4? Yeah that’s what it felt like
- “Isn’t he so cool Hinata?!” -you
- but he’s also torn because he also thinks they’re awesome af 😭 so he can’t decide if he’s more saddened by the fact that you’re not saying that about him or if he’s excited that you also like one of his idols
- “…Yes he’s— very cool.” -hinata
- “…You do know my fav player’s always gonna be you though right?”
- oh you don’t even KNOW. How happy you just made him. You just turned his life around with just a single sentence
- bro could burst through the ceiling now
- he basically smothered you with a hug after that and did one of those koala hugs where he was basically just clinging onto you with pure adoration and affection
- it’s one thing if some random other student or little kid came up to him saying he was cool— like don’t get me wrong he’d probably freak out in a good way about that too
- but when it comes from you? He could have all haters but if he still had you? He’s totally fine. All bro needs is your support
- but do be careful because he might actually suffocate you one day if you compliment him too much
- each time you say something good about him his hugs get stronger?? If that’s even possible idk 😭
- you’ll have a great free chiropractor tho so woo hoo😁👍
GOSHIKI
- bro has a thing for getting compliments or getting praise. I saw it VERY clearly when Hinata gave him that compliment about his spikes during the shiratorizawa training camp
- and then when Tendo said his bangs were cool bro was so happy 😭 (he’s so sweet oml)
- but of course when you watch his matches— I mean— you’re gonna be impressed by ushijima
- who wouldn’t be? Bros a literal nuclear bomb ahh spiker 💀
- after one of his matches you went up to him and started talking about ushijima and how cool his spikes and serves were
- “I feel like he’s gonna literally pop the ball everytime he hits it! It’s awesome!” -you
- he agrees wholeheartedly with you! But— man. He wanted you to say that about him 😭
- “Yeah— he’s amazing right..?” -him
- “He’s a third year right?”
- Goshiki nodded and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, looking a bit down
- “Oh so he’s just clearing the way for you then! There can only be one ace so he’s gotta move out of the way for you.”
(I couldn’t find the proper meme to put here so here’s the actual screenshot of him)
- bro could ascend
- he could die right then and there
- but then he remembered he has to show off for you still so he stayed on earth
- ushijima heard you say that btw
- it looked like he wanted to murder you but in reality he thought it was very nice of you to say that to lift goshiki’s spirits
- he just— looks like he wants to crush you and send you to mars 💀
- also Tendo makes fun of him for being so happy about being praised
- “HAHAHAHAH— you LOVE it when y/n ever tells you something positive about you huh~??” -tendo
- yeah no he’s not gonna leave your poor bowl cut boy alone about it now
BOKUTO
- like the other two, he’s big on praise
- I mean before every match the manager tells him someone in the audience said he looks cool so he plays better 😭😭
- having you supporting him at his matches is like having an entire stadium full of people cheering his name
- you make Akaashi’s life less stressful. Good job y/n, Akaashi loves you for that and will legit pay you money to keep coming even though he knows he doesn’t have to. He’s that grateful for you
- I ain’t kidding one time Akaashi just started tearing up thanking you for being his fail safe plan if his 2000000 other plans to get Bokuto out of his emo mode don’t work
- he knows just like one compliment from you will cure Bokuto
- yeah so guess what you had to go and say right before a match started?
- “I just saw itachiyama play and wow that Sakusa guy who’s one of the top 3 spikers was just as good as they said he was!” -you
- akaashi might just do a backflip off of the stadium roof at this point 🙂 hardcore parkour
- the way you could literally see Bokuto’s hair droop down is insane
- konoha and sarukui were like: holy shit we’re absolutely cooked 😀
- this wasn’t an emo mode this was an avant garde mode
- but right as Akaashi was about to seriously jump off the roof, you saved everyone from the disaster you created
- “I don’t know why you’re not in the top three though, imo you’re a lot better than that guy, and a lot cooler looking too.”
- Akaashi looked like he was gonna live again
- Bokuto’s hair flipped back upwards and he excitedly smiled at you, giving you a big hug before going onto the court with an ecstatic air about him
- Akaashi is genuinely terrified of how you can simultaneously destroy their team and bring it back together with singular sentences
- you’re Bokuto’s weakness number 38 which akaashi does not have a solution for 💀
AKAASHI
- Akaashi is honestly happy you’re just with him
- he doesn’t really mind it if you can’t come to see him play, of course he’d love for you to be there but he totally understands if you can’t, and won’t be destroyed about it
- he loves your support and will always appreciate you for cheering him on (and being his mental support because taking care of Bokuto is life draining and he probably gets about a month taken off of his life everytime Bokuto goes into his emo mode)
- during the match with nekoma, you noticed how the setter on their team was also quite an intelligent and skilled player despite seeming so bored and uninterested in the sport entirely
- he had a hold on Bokuto for a good while and it was impressive how he managed to put Bokuto in a slump so smoothly and discreetly
- after the match, you congratulated fukurodani on their victory, and akaashi thanked you for coming like the gentleman bro is
- “That setter on nekoma was really good— he was so calculating and calm about his strategy to make Bokuto go into a slump!” -you
- Akaashi was still a bit traumatized by Bokuto literally forgetting how to do cross shots entirely so uh— 😀
- yeah it didn’t really sound great to him
- bro had to pull out a whole ass speech plus hinata to get Bokuto back on his feet and then you say that 🥲
- he isn’t mad or anything but he isn’t very overjoyed either
- “Yes, he was a really tough opponent. Kuroo-san was too.” -Akaashi
- Akaashi was good at hiding his displeasure, so it just sounded like he was saying something normal like he usually would, in a straight steady tone
- “No match for you and the team though, you guys definitely deserved the win. And you actually look interested and not like you want to die on the court unlike that setter on nekoma— he looked like he wanted to collapse and sleep forever after the first set.”
- he wasn’t expecting you to say that, and he looked pleasantly surprised
- Bokuto grinned and put his arm around the setter
- “Y/n’s right as always, Kenma’s no match for akaashi!” -Bokuto
- the rest of the team wholeheartedly agreed, and akaashi felt glad, happy to know that his team, and especially you thought so highly of him
- no one else could handle Bokuto like he could, and no one could be as cool in your eyes as he was
- you could probably tell him his glasses looked nice and he would never take them off again—
- he’s the type of guy to listen to whatever you say a bit too much sometimes 😭
- he legit remembers the outfit you wore the day he first met you
- kinda creepy but sweet ig? 🤷
OIKAWA
- bro has a billion fans and only really cares abt you cheering him on
- like ofc he needs other people to be cheering him on too because he’s extra like that but it’s 80% you
- don’t ask abt the 20%
- yk how all those girls were asking for his picture and stuff? Ever since he got together with you, he’s been avoiding them a lot more
- he knows it’s probably especially annoying for you to see a bunch of random people asking your boyfriend for pictures and giving him handmade things
- just know that he thinks you’re better than any girl combined and if you ever like start walking away before he’s finished trying to get the girls away from him he will legit sprint after you while screaming
- “Y/N-CHAN WAAAAAAAAAIT!!!”
- my dude is running, and I mean running like a mf track star. You piss off his fangirls so much bro it’s so funny how they look at you like they want to poison you in your sleep💀💀💀
- he reassures you on the daily that you’re beautiful and amazing, but still it’s annoying to see all the girls fawn over him
- so you decided to give him a similar taste of his own medicine
- at the next matches, you were watching with him a match with karasuno and shiratorizawa. You know VERY well that he does not like karasuno or shiratorizawa
- ushijima is probably the one who’s the worst…
- perfect.
- “Whoa Ushijima’s serves are so cool!! And he uses his left hand too damn that’s unique! I’ve never seen a left handed player like him before, and those spikes look like they’re about to tear karasuno’s blocker’s arms off!” -you
- I don’t think he’s ever been more simultaneously heart broken, and pissed at ushijima at the same time before
- he’s such a baby about it too
- he’ll cross his arms and act like he doesn’t care when obviously he does, and with the way he’s pouting about it like a little kid was proof that your little plan worked very well
- “Hmph, I guess so.” -him
- “What, you salty since you lost?” -you
- “Would you mind not rubbing salt in it? It’s only been like two days!”
- you couldn’t help but burst out into laughing because of how upset he was by this— it was ridiculous
- if you had your phone out you would’ve taken a picture of his face and sent it to iwaizumi for shits and giggles
- “I’m joking Oikawa, I think you’re much cooler than ushijima. You have a lot more personality than him.” -you
- “That’s damn right I do!” -him
- “…I didn’t say a good personality or anything.”
- “Pardon me?! I’m very demure and cute thank you very much.”
- “You saying that just proves you’re anything but that.”
- “Y/N BE NICE TO ME :(“
- “No. :)”
- “I knew I shouldn’t have let you hang out with Iwa-chan, he’s turned you against me!”
KUROO
- you’re the carbon to his dioxide
- the hydrogen to his peroxide
- the deoxyribose to his phosphate group (I paid attention in science kuroo, yw)
- even if he doesn’t get to be interviewed by some reporter, and even if he doesn’t get to go to nationals
- if you’re there and supporting him he feels better
- talking to you and hearing you say how cool he plays is more than an interview could ever mean to him
- seriously you make him chemically insane
- like he does not understand how just being around you releases endorphins somehow (you’re magical)
- you had heard of their opponents nohebi from eavesdropping on a couple of random people’s conversations in the lobby
- they were a strong team, and you were intrigued by how a lot of people seemed to dislike them a lot for the way they played.. which was very underhanded
- but even with their underhanded tactics, they were a solid team with good technique and teamwork
- “Whoa the captain of nohebi is actually pretty good!” -you
- “Ugh I know right? Come on nekoma!” -Akane (Yamamoto’s little sister)
- I feel like kuroo has horrible eyesight but then absolutely amazing hearing? Idk 💀 but whatever the case was, he heard that
- loud and clear
- mhm he’s ready to kill nohebi now
- bro is legit a one man Great Wall of china now
- he’s “powered up” as Kenma would say
- Kenma took note that you were kuroo’s power up skill, and would remember to use you in the future as well
- I’m serious bro is flexing so hard on you rn 😭
- he is working double time, sweating, tryna channel his inner Bokuto
- yaku hasn’t needed to save the ball because kuroo’s trying so hard to impress you 💀
- honestly it’s kind of amazing— seeing him sprinting left and right and slamming balls down like it was no one’s business but his
- he checks like every five seconds to see if you’re watching his amazing skills
- and after the match— Kenma went up to you first and thanked you bc Kuroo did like 70% of the work for him 😭
- Kenma legit gave you a Nintendo gift card he’s had in his back pocket since 2019 as a thank you gift and as a “please continue making kuroo do all the work” gift
- god knows how it’s stayed in his pants that have probably been through countless wash cycles 💀
- “Oh kuroo! Fukunaga’s last spike was so cool! He totally hit that line shot perfectly!”
- way to stab kuroo in the back 🥲 he’s legit about to collapse from emotionally throwing out his back
- old man down over here
- he was so destroyed— you left no piece of him intact he’s in literal shambles
- “But kuroo you were so cool! You kept blocking and repelling the balls like you were oppositely charged from the ball!”
- and he’s alive again, you’re a magician
- complimenting him using a science reference?
- oh just marry him already 😭
- he knew you must just be dopamine bc he smiles like an idiot whenever you’re around
- somehow his smile gets even dorkier when you compliment him
- if it’s a science compliment he could quite literally ascend to the moon
- “Hehe thanks y/n.” -him
- “Were you tryna show off in the last set?” -you
- “…Why? Did it work?”
- “…Hm. Perhaps hypothetically, yes.”
- “How does one go about making that hypothesis a true statement? 😏”
- kuroo is so nerdy and his pickup lines are so bad that it just takes whatever smoothness he had (very little to start with btw) away 😭😭😭
- like pls when he first met you when yall were paired up to do a science project about magnetism— bro said
- “Even Neodymium would lose if it were to compete against your magnetic personality 😏🌹”
- “…What? 💀” -you
- you weren’t really sure if you should love bro for his effort or be scared of how bad his pickup lines were
- the answer is both
- it all ended up ok anyways— you’re bonded to him together since yall are oppositely charged ✌️
a/n - no I don’t know how to make pickup lines 💀
#hq x reader#hq#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#akaashi x reader#hq akaashi#hinata hq#hq hinata#hinata x reader#bokuto koutarou#bokuto x reader#bokuto x y/n#hq bokuto#goshiki tsutomu#goshiki x reader#hinata shoyo x reader#hq oikawa#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#oikawa x y/n#kuroo x reader#kuroo x y/n#kuroo tetsuro x reader#oikawa#kuroo testuro#hq kuroo#akaashi keiji#haikyuu goshiki#crack is therapeutic
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