#it’s the shipping prices that always beat my ass

[lovefingers]

Diabolical

[sant-riley]

[Task force 141 + others with Gen z!reader] [pt3]

A/N: Some of these you /may/ have seen on tiktok, that is me who posted them on tiktok. I am green haired bitch so no I didn't steal anything LMAO. I hope these live up to yalls expectations.

The last two of these my lovely friend gave me inspiration for <3 @frogchiro

Warnings: She/her pronouns swearing, age gaps, tiktok memes (like always lmk if I miss something!)

~

You steal Prices hat on numerous occasions bc its a fashion abomination and you refuse to let this man wear it around you. You hide around base as frequently as you can.

Jokes on you though bc he will literally wait til it's your birthday and buy you a matching one and will laugh at your scream of disgust.

Gaz one ups him by gifting you a matching hat as well, putting it on your head as he flicks the brim.

"Thanks Gaz! I love it!

"And not mine?"

"You're on thin ice, old man."

Price gets gifted a set from manscaped by the guys as a gag gift. He uses it for his beard bc he never bothered to look into why everyone was laughing around him.

Price takes your phone when you try and show him memes, squinting hard as fuck like a dad 💀

Soap, if yall have the time off takes you to scottish football games and it's a whole thing. You sitting there while he gets drunk out of his fucking mind, hollering and whooping and you're there trying to sink into your seat.

Chances are someone's gonna shove you and you're gonna trip and fall bc everyone's so amped up and Soap threatens to beat the shit out of them. It's a miracle y'all don't get kicked out 💀

If you have tattoos, Soap is the first one to take a marker set and color them in and adding his own additions. If you were ever to get them actually tattooed, he would tear up and pretend he isn't emotional about it.

"You like me that much Bonnie?"

He would get something of you too, so it evens out. This also makes Ghost in turn get a tattoo for you bc he refuses to be out done and he's just as attached

Neither of them get your call sign or your name, but they get something personal to what each of them associate you with.

The first time you meet Alex, you're across the room doing something that has your focus and didn't realize this is actually your first time meeting him. You ask him for a hand only to look up and see him extend his prosthetic at you with a smile and you scream.

"You asked for a hand but best I can do is a Leg." Price comes running and he sees the scene and rolls his eyes.

Everyone single one of them are the definition of "my girl can wear whatever she wants bc I'll break your jaw." meme btw. You can take care of yourself but you never need to bc they will beat a bitch up.

Laswell invites you constantly to come over and meet with her wife, esp if you don't have a mother figure. She always always tries to come on base to see you and always has a birthday and Christmas present on it's way to you wherever you may be. Her wife loves you to death and they've pretty much adopted you and you cannot escape it, oh well.

Gaz buys you whatever your little heart desires, especially if he's deployed away in a country where they sell exclusives of whatever you enjoy. It's a pain in the fucking ass to try and ship a anime figure to your place from Japan but he's gonna try his best.

Ghost doesn't share his food, or at least it was before you came along. He groans and grumbles about having to feed you but he wouldn't do it if he truly didn't want to. Soap asks and Ghost tells him to fuck off.

If you watch anime, please imagine trying to get everyone in the room and trying to explain who Dabi is. They're all so fucking old they keep thinking you're referring to the elf from Harry Potter and it infuriates you to no end.

Soap and Gaz know better but it's funnier to see you mad.

Being the youngest, they absolutely force you to do the jobs they don't want to. Whether it be cleaning the barracks, to cooking dinner when able, it doesn't matter bc they'll all pull rank on you.

"You're the new kid, get to it then."

"Ghosttttt-"

"Don't Ghost me."

Soap is the kind of motherfucker to play the fifa games and doesn't understand that he's stupid for buying it every single year bc there are no changes oncesoever. He will not listen to you about it and you've given up.

Ghost will see you talk about your etsy list and will ask for your phone, you trust him so of course you hand it over. He hands it back to you and it's just, all purchased. He says nothing while he sips on his tea while you scream at him asking why he did it. He won't tell you but it's because he knows it makes you happy and it'll keep your mood up, giving you a reason to be motivated to get through missions. It's also because he knows that retail therapy is a thing for your generation.

Soap, if you do any, is actually really good at doing your makeup! He knows how to do everything and he refuses to elaborate. (As a kid he'd do his mom's makeup when she went out for dates) he's the one who helps you doll up if you're going undercover.

Ghost, Gaz and Price find you unfunny whenever you make a "wow I wish British people were real." You say it so often and it gets annoying but they also just accept it's a part of life.

Soap personally enjoys the "SCOTLAND FOREVERRRRRRR" meme and will scream it with you. Ghost threatens to cut yalls tongue out.

Other parts can be found under #Kayla writes <3

Taglist:

@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess

@stupid-ninja @milkmily

@lune-la-chanson @tamayakii

@teacupcollector @sweet-as-an-angel

@perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains

@marsbar127xx @baddump

@xncasi @king-cookiex

@palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky @wolfyland07 @diejager

@hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom

If you'd like to be tagged, go to my pinned post and comment there :)

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

Roach would love call of duty EVERYTHING. From games to Fandom, to fanfictions.

He will play the shit out of campaing & multi-player and lose all concept of time to the point where König has to drag him out of the room he's been in the last 2 weeks.

And our boy does not go down without a fight.

First he will plead. Then he will hiss, bite and attack. If nothing works, he will try to weasel out of the vents, insect style.

Oh, and the fannart. Sanderson is on three platforms, downloading others art and sharing his own.

He will focus on rule 34 and send ships to his teammates with the caption "this u?" from an unknown number. Then watch all hell breaks loose. They know it's him, but act dumb.

He calls Sergent Mactavish, Baby Mactavish, and reminds him that if he eats enough protein he will grow big and strong like his daddy - Captain Mactavish.

Huge fan of sending both Ghosts on a mission. Or just putting recruits in a room with them. Enjoys the uncomfortable atmosphere created by the two men whose favorite hobby is staring. Gary calls them "the watchers".

Gets pissed off that he is not in the reboot and tries to convince Price to make another game.

"I AM NOT IN THE REBOOT. THEY LEFT MY CHARACTER FOR DEAD."

"Sanderson, this is the military"

"THEY BURNED ME"

Starts wearing anthennas and switching both Price men cigars. They always notice. Call the older Price "papi" an the younger "daddy".

Is the first to comfort mactavish for his ending in mw3.

Constantly clings to his Ghost side, because of their own ending:

"If I die, it would be an honor to be with you"

"Sanderson this is a game"

"Come here"

"Get...stop hugging me! Unhand me, this instant!!"

"Shhh...it's okay. Let me in"

"SANDERSON I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS. GET YOUR HANDS OFF FROM ME!"

GARY "ROACH" SANDERSON is the Deadpool of the COD universe. Or at least, he says so.

[snootlestheangel]

If someone hasn't asked yet Pricegravesnik for that ship thing :D

Ooohhh a challenge! Let's see where this goes lol

They're all married for this btw

If anyone wants to submit another ship, please do so! If you actually have other ideas for the questions "Like who takes the hottest showers?" then I'd love to hear them!

Who was the one to propose? Actually I want to say Price when he proposed to Nik. I want to say neither were willing to commit to marrying each other for a couple years until something happened and Price realized it's never a guarantee to keep the good things in life, so might as well keep them close while you can. Nik's the one that started the flirting with Graves and wanted to propose to him, but Graves beat him to it. (my tired brain made me read that as Graves proposed to himself, which honestly? He would. He'd do it just to mess with them and go "Sorry, I'm already engaged")

Who stressed more over wedding planning? I genuinely see Nik as the one that was flipping out the whole time. Graves was surprisingly the least stressed (he was recruiting his Shadows for help shhhhh) and Price was experiencing about the normal level of stress you'd expect for a wedding.

Who decorated the house? Graves. In truth, it was a mostly group effort; Price's favorite recliner is there, Nik's very nice, suspiciously acquired liquor cabinet, a few things they've both received from Laswell, Farah, Alex, and the 141 boys. But Graves is the true decorator. Granted, most of this stuff is gifts from the Shadows when they heard he was getting married.

Who does the cooking? I, again, want to say Graves's Southern ass does, but like... I feel like Price knows his way around a kitchen, ya know? Nik is banished from kitchens.

Who is more organized? None of them are necessarily organized per say. Graves is the best at keeping the appearance of being organized but in reality it's Price. Graves's planners are always neat, his desk is always neat, but that doesn't mean shit. Price's office always looks like Nik landed a copter too close but he knows exactly where everything is and he's the most on top of schedules/appointments/important dates.

Who suggested kids first? Nik. Like as a serious suggestion. He's seen the way both his husbands are, and he just knows they'd be wonderful dads. Desperately wants to be a girl dad.

Who's the cuddler? Nik is the cuddliest, but Graves is a close second. Price just wants some fucking peace and quiet.

Who is big spoon/little spoon? Graves always ends up the little spoon of at least one of them. As much as he tries his best to be a big spoon and big spoon only, he always ends up in the middle of them with one wrapped around behind him. Nik is always a big spoon though, and somehow Price ends up being the little spoon. (Graves is not complaining, he's got two bears for husbands so you know ending up in the middle of that is hella nice. And he should be thankful) *I am extremely jealous of Graves now but I have no one to blame but myself and maybe @midnight193 for submitting this ship*

What's their favorite non-sexual activity? Probably something quiet, but at the same time they're all so chaotic it'd never stay quiet long, so I almost want to say something like *mind blanks* Um.... Honestly? Bowling. Don't ask me why, it just popped in there and now I can't get that mental image out of my head. That or axe-throwing cause they're each such show-offs. Graves gets a +2 strength bonus when the Shadows are around

Who comes home drunk at 3am? Nik. Is there really any other answer? It's not often, it's still a rarity, but still. That! Or it's Graves after a party with his Shadows. He's always absolutely blasted after social engagements involving alcohol with his Shadows

Who kills the spiders? Price. None of them are afraid, but Graves did have one really bad allergic reaction once and ever since then Price is the one to kill the spiders. Nik tried using fire once. It did not work. He is no longer allowed to kill spiders, even though he promises to never do it again

Who falls asleep first? Hot take? Graves. He's going 100 all day and just crashes once it's bedtime. Sometimes, if Nik and Price are coming home late, they walk in to see Graves just sprawled out on the bed, having not even bothered taking his jeans off and he is out cold. (of course they always gently get him into bed proper and that's how he ends up in the middle)

A head-canon? Nik is a human furnace, which is partly why he has to be one of the ends when they cuddle/sleep. There have been times where he's ended up in the middle and Price is just on the floor cause HOT. Graves, a true Texan (he's Texan right? *I am having an existential crisis over this for some reason??*) is used to the heat, and is secretly sometimes reminded of home with it, so he's okay with being swarmed by human heater Nik. Price, a fucking Brit, can't stand it when he's too warm for comfort. He'd rather kill his back sleeping on the floor or their really shitty couch than be trapped with that. A second one because why not? Price always ends up being the "victim" of sexual jokes/blatant nasty flirting from Graves and Nik. He can be chilling, minding his business, and suddenly one of them says something really dirty to the other and Price, the poor thing, it's not his fault he gets so easily flustered!

Do they have any rituals? Graves has so many rituals when it's Shadow Olympics week. There's too many to count but they're all vital for his team winning, and even some of them to ensure none of his Shadows are harmed/all have fun. Nik constantly teases him for being a dad, which ends up in Graves calling himself Daddy and making Price snort his tea. Price has incredible oral hygiene, and the other two have pretty normal routines for that sort of thing. Nik's only "ritual" is the series of stretches he does before flying. It took a while for Graves to be able to witness it, so Price once recorded it and sent it to him.

Who has the most patience? Nik, a thousand times over. Price has to deal with Soap, Ghost, and Gaz on a constant basis. And those boys are so needy they can't just leave him alone during leave, either! Graves can be pretty patient, but after a long day of dealing with hyperactive Shadows and a giant techie with chronic anxiety, he gets a little snippy. Nik on the other hand? Totally chilled out like 90% of the time. He's had a couple of bad days where he'll scowl at someone annoying him and the very rare occasions that he does lose his cool. Ghost has witnessed this once, and the rant Nik was on wasn't even directed at him, but he's still traumatized by it (@cod-dump has an incorrect quotes that definitely inspired this. In fact! Mike is the fucking reason I'm obsessed with Graves now! So *angrily stomps but it's more like a cute puppy* damn you! This is your fault!)

Gif that sums up their relationship?

I dunno I tried. I searched too long and this is all I could come up with

[marblemoonstones]

stiletto 👠

main masterlist

summary: bangtan may think they’re the mafia kings, but little do they know you are the rising queen.

warnings: ❗️any characters in the story have nothing to do with their real life counterparts❗️f reader, use of ‘bitch,’ ‘ass’, ‘shit’ (still don’t know if it counts as a warning lol), mentions of killing (nothing happens), tae and kook threatened by reader (nothing happens), shooting of guns (no injuries)

a/n: sorry i haven’t posted in forever 🥲 i’ve been so busy, but i’m still working on catharsis 🩵 

this is just a silly little mafia one shot because i wanted to try something different. reader is a bad bitch bc i wanted her to beat bangtan in a fic for once ;) also pretty tame in terms of violence and such for a mafia fic. hope you enjoy!

word count: ~2.3k

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Opening my eyes, I immediately sense that someone’s watching me. I pretend to not notice it, going about my daily morning routine. The cameras are subtle, but my eyes catch them quickly. These boys may be smart but I’m always one step ahead. I knew that they were going to watch/trail me the second I turned down their business proposal. 

~ Two days ago

“Stiletto, you have a business meeting with Bangtan today,” my assistant tells me. 

“Oh, it totally slipped my mind,” I say, knowing full well about the meeting. You have to act forgetful once in a while or else people assume that you know everything and don’t tell you anything. 

“It’s in an hour in your office.” I nod at the reminder, and wave her off. Venus is a hard-working girl and not a snitch, so I’ve kept her around as my assistant. She knows the consequences of betraying me.

An hour passes by quickly, dealing with my product shipping and whatnot. I’ve been involved for a good seven years; in both the technology industry and the mafia. My technology is top notch, and this led many mafia bosses to want to buy my products. I’m happy to oblige, as this makes me a pretty penny.

A sharp knock on my door makes me smirk. 

I call out, “Come in.” 

Seven men dressed in suits enter and shut the door behind them. 

Bangtan. 

“Hello Stiletto, it’s good to finally meet you,” Kim Namjoon says cordially.

“Likewise. Now, let’s get to it. I’m a busy woman, so if you please, give me your deal.” My face is blank, eyes steely, scrutinizing them as they do the same to me. 

(a/n, I didn’t go into specifics with the deal because I’m not good with that sort of thing, so sorry for being so vague :’)) 

I listen to their proposal, knowing from the first sentence that it’s not going to happen. At least, not with me. The deal has minor holes and could easily be executed with another company. My price is also not met. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt Mr. Kim, but this isn’t going to work. Have a good day,” I dismiss them, seeing the looks of anger flash in their eyes.

“What do you mean it won’t work, Stiletto?” Min Yoongi asks, barely concealing his anger.

“Are you deaf? I mean it won’t work. Find another company. Goodbye.” I’m about to call for security, but they keep pushing on. Well. Looks like they have some bark in them. But I have more important things to be doing than entertain some boys and I know I’ll see them again soon enough.

“You’ll regret this later,” Park Jimin says, and before he can say more I interrupt. 

“I know that I won’t. Goodbye.” And with that, I have security escort them out. Granted, they don’t put up much of a fight, but instead I see them clench their fists if only for a brief second. Good. They’re mad. I hope that they learned that I can be a bitch, exactly as everyone says. 

Hence the nickname Stiletto. Stilettos may be pretty looking but they’re also powerful. I bet you’ve never seen someone walk in stilettos and not look like a bad bitch. 

Ever since this nickname was given to me, I have worn a pair every day. Why not give the people what they want? 

I had to kill everyone who knew my actual name, so now only a select few remain who know my actual name; Y/n.

~ Present Day

Bangtan is so mad that they are trailing me to try to find weaknesses to make me bend to their deal. Their attempt is almost comical. Almost. I don’t have weaknesses. Growing up in an orphanage led me to learn and figure out things by myself. 

My black suit is waiting for me, and I slip on my signature stilettos. They have red soles, an exclusive one-of-a-kind shoe made especially for me. Little does the brand know that I made some alterations to the shoes. I made the tips be steel and each shoe has a small dagger hidden inside the stiletto. 

My black purse is waiting and I check my inbox as I make my way downstairs and into my garage where my chauffeur is waiting. 

The cameras inside the house have already been disabled, courtesy of Venus’s hacking skills. That girl is shaping up to me more and more like me everyday. I smile inside at the thought of toying with Bangtan. Some say they’re the most powerful mafia, even going as far to call them the ‘mafia kings’ but I know better than that. They may be more known in the industry, but my name is still influential and slowly climbing the ranks. I blame me being a woman for the reason why I’m not on top. Most of the mafia bosses think I’m just a pretty face who can’t be taken seriously. Someday I’ll destroy all their empires and watch them burn. (she says nonchalantly lol)

I get out of the car at my office and head inside. Venus greets me, showing me my schedule of the day. I thank her, the only person I ever do, and head off to my office. It’s a peaceful workday, considering that I haven’t had to hurt/kill anyone yet. 

It’s around 2:00pm when I get a notification on my phone saying that there are two unidentifiable figures that breached our building. I dismiss getting security to investigate as I know that it’s Bangtan. Perfect. They’re coming just as I knew they would. I know it’ll take them about a half an hour to reach my office so I wait eagerly. 

Half an hour later I’m sending an email when I can feel their eyes on me. Based on my research I can guess that it’s Jungkook and Taehyung in the vents. These two are the deadly duo and also the sneakiest. 

While Yoongi and Hoseok are the best at weaponry, Namjoon and Seokjin are the best fighters (with Seokjin doubling as a doctor), Jimin is a master manipulator, and Taehyung and Jungkook are the stealthiest. Jungkook is their ace though, good at everything. 

I internally feel giddy, but on the outside I pretend that I don’t notice them.

I let this go on for another half hour, knowing that they’re watching every move. So I send boring emails and don’t do any actually work. I already shut down their hacking and can’t wait to shut down their camera that’s been in my office all day. But that comes later in my plan. 

After hitting send on another email, I start typing up an rsvp and say, “Boys, it’s time to come down now. I know you’re up there, so be good and come out.” 

There aren’t any noises but I can tell that they didn’t expect this. 

Bangtan doesn’t expect me to know their every move. I have tabs on all of them at all times, and they don’t know I know all their tricks in the book. Including trailing business owners who don’t accept their deals.

Since they aren’t responding, I decide to have some fun and use their names. 

“Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook…the maknaes of Bangtan. Be good boys and come out, okay? We don’t want this getting out of hand,” I say sweetly, imagining their eyes widen at me calling them out by name. 

I count slowly in my head…three…two…one…

Bang! The vents come open and they drop down silently behind me. I turn around in my chair and see the two culprits. 

“Hello boys. Have a seat.” I say, leaving them no room for argument. They sit down and don’t speak. I know they’re searching for ways to escape, but I won’t let them. They’re not the only ones good at planning.

“Look, I’m not going to force you to talk about anything. But just know that you shouldn’t try to-“

Before I can finish Jungkook brings out a gun and fires it at me. I dodge it and pull out a gun of my own.

“Don’t even think about it buddy. I have dozens of weapons aimed at you that could fire at any moment, so sit your ass down.” This makes him slightly wary, and he lowers his gun. 

“Give me your weapons boys,” I demand next, knowing that I could still win against them in a heartbeat but don’t want to take that chance.

They get them out for me but I notice Jungkook forgot two and Taehyung forgot one.

“Jungkook, give me the dagger in your hair and behind your ear and Taehyung, give me your ankle dagger,” I sigh impatiently. 

They do as I say, surprised at my knowledge. 

“Perfect. Good boys, thank you,” I praise, knowing that this makes them uncomfortable. And it works. Jungkook looks down slightly while I see Taehyung swallow. 

I stalk over to the filing cabinet and pull out the camera recording all of this. I smirk slightly into it and place it down in front of the boys and I. 

“Hello Bangtan, thanks for sending your maknaes to me. We’ve been having a jolly good time,” I say into the camera, noticing Jungkook and Taehyung exchange glances.

“Anyways, better come get them before something happens to them…that would be horrible,” I say, my tone a hint darker than before. Then I crush and destroy the camera. 

I turn back to Jungkook and Taehyung.

“I’ll guess…thirty-four minutes until they come for you. In the meantime, do make yourselves comfortable. I have snacks and shit in the mini fridge if you’re feeling peckish. But don’t try anything!” I singsong, going back to my desk. 

They look at each other, confused at what’s going on. One second I’m threatening them the next I’m offering them food. I ignore their looks and continue typing and responding to emails.

Precisely thirty-four minutes later the rest of Bangtan comes bursting through my office door.

“Where are they?!” Namjoon booms, gun in hand.

“They are right there,” I say, pointing to the two boys who haven’t moved from their sitting positions.

I see Bangtan freeze, if only for a split second. I know that they’re shocked I didn’t harm them/tie them up somehow.

“Did you do anything to them? Because if you did, I swear to god Stiletto I’ll-“

“Calm down Hoseok, can’t you see they’re unharmed?” I state boredly, gesturing to the maknaes.

“It’s true Hobi,” Jin says, rushing over to inspect his babies. 

“Aw, such a happy reunion,” I say, then sharpen my tone. “Looks, you idiots need to learn that no means no. I don’t want your business deal, so stop trying. It’s not working.”

“You sure, Stiletto?” Jimin asks me, a calculating grin on his face, “Because it seems to me that you care a lot about our babies, not even harming them. What does that show?”

I roll my eyes. “Jimin, quit it. Your tactics don’t work on me.” 

“Ooh, feisty. I like you, Stiletto,” Jimin says, sidling up to me and putting his arm around my shoulder.

Quick as a wink I take his arm off my shoulder and twist him so we’re now face-to-face. 

“Isn’t it obvious? I like you too Jimin,” I say, staring deep into his eyes. Oh how I love toying with them.

He falters for a millisecond then regains his composure and licks his lips.

“Great, so let’s make a deal-“

“You silly boy,” I push him away much to his dismay, “I already told you, no means no. Now, get out of here before I shoot you all.” I’ve had my fun and it’s time for them to go.

“Look, Stiletto, we don’t mean to cause issues with-“

“Trailing me? Putting cameras up in my own home and office? Attempting to hack my technology? Sending your babies to spy on me? It seems that you have caused issues. While I like to mess with you, I’m done playing.” I’m dead serious as I look them each in the eye.

“Get out of my sight and don’t bother trying to contact me again. I’m done with Bangtan. Oh, and keep in mind that I know more than you think,” I warn.

“Like what?” Namjoon scoffs, not believing me.

“I know that you and the rest of the boys have feelings for each other,” I say casually, noticing their looks of shock, “What, you don’t think I noticed? It’s pretty obvious to me and honestly you’re all perfect for each other anyway.” 

“But…no one knows that…” Jin stammers, showing the first sign of weakness since their arrival.

“Look, I’m not a snitch when it comes to that topic, so I won’t tell anyone, but you best believe I know so much more,” I say, watching them all breathe a small sigh of relief.

“Okay, point made Stiletto. We’ll leave you alone.” Namjoon caves, nodding to the rest of the boys.

“Great, now get out.” I point to the door and they all file out.

Ever since my spy in Bangtan told me that they were planning on meeting with me, I planned on the outcome. 

I knew their deals were usually good at hiding the holes, so I took the liberty of finding out what deal they were going to offer to me. It wasn’t bad from the outside but I knew that in the end it would benefit them more than me. 

I knew they wouldn’t accept my ‘no’ so I planned on them following me. Taehyung and Jungkook coming wasn’t a surprise in the least and I knew that revealing their biggest secret would make them leave me alone. 

I now hold power over the ‘mafia kings.’ 

That makes me be able to control all the groups in my area. 

Perfect. 

Now I can grow my empire and slowly but surely take over and show everyone who their mafia ruler really is.

The mafia queen, Y/n.

a/n: sorry for kinda rushing through this. it’s not perfect but i just love the scenario! anyways, as always, thanks for reading! 🩷🫶🏼

[demonfox38]

Completed - Star Fox Zero

Before we can get into a proper conversation about "Star Fox Zero", you have to understand three things about my particular brain and biases:

I don't like claiming that I am good at anything. (Mostly, because I am not definitively the best at anything. All I can guarantee is base competency.)

I am good at "Star Fox 64."

I am a proficient bassoon player.

1 and 2 relate in a comedic way, sure. What's up with 3, though?

Well, I bring up the whole bassoon background because the bassoon is one of the more mainstream weird-ass musical instruments. It's a double-reed bass instrument that requires proper breathing control, responsive embouchure, memorization of proper fingering techniques (ha ha, yes, I know), and the ability to read in bass clef (and tenor, if you're dealing with some real dickhead composers.) A music ed teacher does not just hand a child a bassoon and tell them, "Good luck!" It requires musical competency and practicing. Just absolute shittons of hours of practicing so you don't sound like a dying duck. But, if you get good at it, you'll always have a seat in a band or orchestra. It's weird, sure, but it adds warmth and speed to bass lines. There's value in its weirdness, which I hope is something we know and appreciate, being denizens of this so-called hellsite.

What's the point of me bringing up playing the bassoon in a "Star Fox Zero" review? Because I am used to practicing weird shit, and that's 100% going to color my perspective in this game.

Also, I might like this series.

Just a teeny bit. (Hell, I even forgot a few things...)

"Star Fox Zero" is a 2016 rail shooter / driving game for the Nintendo Wii U. It is best classified as a soft reboot of both SNES' "Star Fox" and the Nintendo 64's "Star Fox 64", although it is far more comfortable hanging in the pockets of the latter. The beats should be fairly familiar to most "Star Fox" fans. Doctor Andross is being a scientific asshole; he's got the Lylat System curb-stomped; General Pepper hits up mercenary team Star Fox for help; lasers get jammed up nasal cavities. Ya know. Standard "Star Wars" meets "Bambi" plot, if you have the mind for it. (Or, if we want to be hyper specific, Shinto iconography meeting "Thunderbirds". The former comparison may be a bit more parsable, though.)

There's a veil of pity and tragedy around this game, which caused me to stay my hand in playing it until 2023. First of all, it's one of the last projects associated with former Nintendo president Satoru Iwata, who effectively died in the saddle. Like, what can I say about that situation but "Damn" and "RIP." Secondly, a lot of people were bitching about the controls. A lot. Lastly, I didn't even own a Nintendo Wii U until April of this year. I wasn't going to buy a console for one goddamn game, alright? That's not what a reasonable person does. Besides, so many Wii U games were being ported to the Switch. I was willing to wait a little while just to see if "Star Fox Zero" got to jump ship as well.

It's 2023. The Switch ship has sailed. Nintendo's eShop has closed. Wii U consoles are succumbing to memory loss. It's not now or never, but…c'mon. I know how the Nintendo used game market works. This is about the lowest price point before nostalgia and console degradation jack prices back up. And hey—the Wii U I bought did come with "Super Mario Maker." So I didn't buy a console for just one Wii U game. Ha! Ha…

Whaddya say? Want to start with ripping a bandage off first? Has to hurt more with fur, I'd imagine…

About those dreaded controls, then. Honestly? I didn't find them that unintuitive. I do think there's a problem that happens when a "Star Fox 64" brain maps onto them, though. Considering how outrageously popular that game is in comparison with its sibling titles, that's a fairly big hurdle to leap.

For the sake of this conversation, I'm going to show you my controller grips between "Star Fox 64" and "Star Fox Zero."

Here's "Star Fox 64":

(Manual image sourced from: https://m1.nintendo.net/docvc/NUS/USA/NFXE/NFXE_E.pdf)

Here's "Star Fox Zero":

Obviously, we're working with wildly different control sets. The initial brain shock comes from moving primary functionality from face buttons to controller triggers. Like, when it's been memetically drilled into your head to tap the Z or R buttons twice to…well, you know the line. You're going to try that with the Wii U controller as well. Then, you're going to be very surprised to find bombs and lasers going off instead.

Basically, in "Star Fox 64", your left thumb is navigation, your pointer fingers are used for defensive actions/threading, and your right thumb is used for offense and specialty actions (evasive maneuvers, going into different perspectives, and hailing calls.) In "Star Fox Zero", your thumbs are handling navigation and evasive maneuvers while your pointers handle offense. For three out of your four play-responsible fingers, that's an inverse of operational duties. A bit tricky!

Having said that, I picked up on the thumb stick shortcuts within two practice sessions. Once I understood how to somersault with the sticks (left down, right up), I thought, "Well, can I U-Turn by left and right down?" And by God, that was correct! Didn't need anyone to tell my ass how to barrel roll. Figured that out, too!

Weapon targeting is a particularly contentious subject in this game. The game wants you to improve your accuracy by using both the cockpit (first person) view and the gyroscope controls in the Wii U gamepad to pick up your targets. While it can't be completely turned off, you can set the controls to only take gyroscopic input into account when you are charging lasers. And you know what? 100% do that. No need to have that always slipping around. There's exactly one boss I've encountered where having them on all the time helped, and that one was optional. And a dick. But, I suppose that's to be expected of a boss…

The last major controller issue has to do with the split of external ship and cockpit views being simultaneously displayed on your TV screen and your Wii U gamepad. Now, which view is where can be toggled by hitting the minus button, so you don't necessarily have to crane your neck down every time you need to consult something in one view or another. However, this dual screen setup is wholly a bad design choice. "Star Fox 64" was able to have the same functionality with a single screen and a dedicated button for flipping back and forth between views if you really had to do that. Which, honestly, was pretty rare to begin with. If something really needed to be put on the lower screen, that should have been a radar/map. Even, then. Lower-right corner of the TV screen. That's where "Star Fox 64" had it. Dead horse, beat.

It could've been fun to have a set of "Call Teammates" buttons down on the Wii U gamepad. Ya know. Just to harass Falco in the middle of a firefight. "Hey, girl. How's it going?" "NO TALKING WHILE THIS LIZARD IS TRYING TO EAT ME!" That kind of vibe.

And if for some reason you thought of something dirty involving Leon Powalski, that's between you and your morality-affiliated consultant of choice, my dude.

So, alright. You get your Arwing controls down. Congrats! You've got four more machines to learn! The main ship variants this time around are the Walker (think like "Star Wars"'s AT-ST, but made out of Arwing parts), the Landmaster (a tank with its own aerial form now because why not?), and the Gyrowing (a helicopter used for stealth and hacking missions.) The fourth, the Roadmaster, gets tossed in after you finish the game, so you don't have to sweat learning that one too much. It's like a hostile RV toy.

Of these, I took the most issue with the Gyrowing. It is easily outclassed and thrown away the first opportunity the game gets. Honestly, I know the Blue Marine gets shit-talked, but that submarine was at least solid at offense and chugging along. Gyrowings, oof. Not so much. Even the baby toy machine can outperform that thing. Absolutely ridiculous.

If I may speak positively, for just a moment—I actually liked the Landmaster design scheme better in this game than "Star Fox 64." Heresy, I know! I just didn't feel weighed down using it like I did in the past. And, granted, that may have been because the Titania level in "Star Fox 64" could really chunk up its framerate. But, here? It was smooth and responsive to what I needed it to do. Gotta award points where they are due.

Although, if you want to see some chunky framerates, go fight the Aquarosa boss. Or don't. (It's the pain-in-the-ass optional boss that I was ragging on earlier.) It's just one of those things where if you commit to fighting it, you've got to do it twice to get into two bonus stages. And, I mean, hell. Even Hercules did good enough fighting the Hydra once…

If I may give more credit, I also found the aesthetics of this game to be strong. I could have used better camera positioning for what I saw, sure. But, I genuinely liked what I saw. In particular, I really thought that the Titania level for this game was oddly beautiful, with pieces of debris from a nearby fight raining through the storm-swept desert atmosphere. The music for this game is on point, too. While some themes are recycled from "Star Fox 64", there is quite a bit of new music diversity. It's all composed gorgeously as well (if a bit excessively for Andross' theme.) If you want some samples, try out the following links:

Boss A

Inside the Colony

Planet Fortuna (and child track Dangerous Skies)

Return to Corneria (My favorite track!)

Stage Selection

Training (Part 2) (There's actually five parts to this!)

In additional audio perks, there's a lot of returning voice actors from "Star Fox 64." I mean, not everybody. (Rick May's a notable exception, but the guy was having awful health towards the end.) Whoever couldn't get picked up got pulled from the 3DS remake as well. Considering how much the English version of "Star Fox 64" thrived on its hammy performance and cheesy dialogue, this is definitely a point in "Zero"'s favor. Frankly, I think some of the voice actors have even gotten better over time. Lyssa Browne particularly has come leaps and bounds in her performance as Slippy Toad, if you'll forgive the pun.

Appreciation of late 90s English video game dubbing is wholly a subjective matter. But, I do find something charming about its raw authenticity and goofiness. We might still have meme culture without one or two titles. But, man. "Star Fox 64," "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night," Metal Gear Solid," all of those "Resident Evil" games…The Internet would be a duller place without the vocal work from those games.

Speaking of all these credits—what credits is "Star Fox Zero" going to give you? Outside of general plot advancement, you can get medals for excellent performance. These are usually granted for kill counts, sequence breaks, collecting certain items, finishing a fight under a certain time limit, or general competency. Granted, earning these doesn't seem to reward the player with much. You do get access to bonus missions, but the greatest rewards are model swaps of your Arwing, a model viewer, and a sound test. Completely pointless—especially if you have access to the OST on YouTube or a couple of Amiibos laying around the house.

Beating the game will also open up an arcade mode where you can shoot through the entire game again in one run. That's a bit more tempting, but honestly, quite overwhelming even to someone like me. I mean, I can handle "Star Fox 64" because it's a quick hour. Going through a "Star Fox Zero" run could take several hours. That's a pretty big gamble, man. It feels like going back a step as well. Like, you know how much more polished I could be at "Star Fox 64" if I could just re-run specific levels on demand? I mean, I guess there's always save state abuse, but I'm trying to discuss playing these games through legal means, here.

I don't think the plot here is enough for a casual player to cling onto, either. Especially, again, if they've played "Star Fox 64" before. It's mostly just rehashing that script, but with Andross dicking around more with space portals than bioweapons. The whole experience comes off as less thought-out and/or mature than "Star Fox 64," even if that's a weird detail to bang on about. Like, I shouldn't complain about seeing clowns in a circus, should I? Trust me, I love the goofy goober banter everyone has. I just wish a little extra polish went into it. Especially for the intro. Like, God. I'm pretty sure that some Cornerian Minister of Propaganda wrote that thing.

Although, General Pepper is a huge asshole this time around. Like, holy shit. It would have literally been more ethical if he put two rounds in the back of Andross' head. You can't toss a mad scientist into another dimension and not expect him to come back and kick your ass Krang style. Not to mention how quick he was to ditch Peppy when the latter was in distress. Like, geez, dude. Isn't he your friend?

I did end up liking the Star Wolf beats better here. Mostly, because they weren't just chumps for the easy pickings, this time around. Also, the implications of whatever James McCloud is in this universe is significantly more horrifying than it was in the past…

In some ways, the problems with "Star Fox Zero" are the problems that have been with the "Star Fox" series since Game One. These games are siblings to titles like "Devil May Cry" and "Parasite Eve" in that all three were accidentally successful betas. ("Star Fox 64" and "Devil May Cry 3" may be even closer related in the "Oops! We succeeded even harder!" department.) If you don't anticipate something being successful, how much thought are you going to put into its future? Perhaps the only reason fans and executives sweat over this detail is in relationship to Fox, Falco, and Wolf's "Super Smash Bros." related popularity. Although, I pity anyone who would fret over lore for Ice Climbers or Mr. Game & Watch like some do for "Star Fox" characters…

Harder still is trying to keep gameplay fresh and relevant to modern audiences. I mean, let's be real. "Star Fox" games are essentially souped-up "Space Harrier" titles. They're concentrated, arcade-difficult challenges meant to test your memory and reflexes. In a world that values a game's breadth of content over mastery of skill or difficulty (minus FromSoftware titles), that's always going to chop off the tails of these kinds of games.

And, hell. I've heard the "controls suck" complaint before, too. It was just for "Star Fox Assault" instead.

My personal problem with "Star Fox Zero" lies more with my thoughts about stagnation versus radicality. Plotwise, this game takes its events way too conservatively. Control-wise, well…we know about how that ruffles feathers, don't we? If there was an inversion with these two details—having a wild, engaging plot with a standard control scheme—this could have been the revival Nintendo wanted for the series. At least, that would have made for a sweet struggle.

Developers and players want "Star Fox 64" again. But, what does that look like in a modern era? Hell, what's even the silver title to that game's gold? I mean, I'd accept several different answers, depending on what a player got out of each title. The only wrong answer would be "Star Fox Command." That melodramatic, noncommittal garbage got us into this mess.

Personally? If I had to make another "Star Fox" game?

The "Star Fox" series appeals to me in not only its learnable difficulty, but its comradery. Fox McCloud would not be the sort of character that I would want to play if he begrudged his teammates. (Eyes on you, Slippy haters.) He's trying to do the right thing, not only for his father's honor, but for their sakes as well. I would want to construct a game that puts more emphasis on teamwork, even in a single player setting. Now, what that looks like could be tricky. "Star Fox 2" and "Command" fell into traps trying to do that. But, I'd have to try to do something, even if it's banal as stat boosts or motivational dialogue via radio communications. (Although, resource scouting/sharing might be an interesting twist. Does your partner trust you enough to attempt shield repairs in a firefight? Hell, would you for them?)

Even if a single confrontation is all it takes to knock Andross out of a timeline, it's harder for another villain to get out of his shadow. (It doesn't help that every other Nintendo character gets dedicated villains as well. It's all patterns fixing patterns.) Maybe, we don't need to. Hell, I could easily see scenarios where investigating some forgotten lab of his unleashes some horrific bio-techno monstrosity that lays waste to a handful of planets. It's not the most intelligent solution, but hell, neither were Aparoids. Didn't mean they weren't a legit threat.

I mean, if we really want to get messed up, the Lylat System is very poachable, if you get my drift. Particularly, if the wrong set of hunters were to come across it…

The simple answer would be just to make "Mass Effect" or "Halo," but for furries. But, personally? I'd want to toss "Star Fox 64," "Star Fox Assault," "Sin and Punishment: Star Successor," "Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin," and "Resident Evil 4"into a blender and chug what comes out. I know. Absolute madman shit, especially considering how I kept getting sick from "Resident Evil 4"-related adrenaline rushes. I know what I want out of a "Star Fox" game, and that's to go fast, kill some messed-up stuff, and vibe with my teammates. If I do it with my head in a bucket, then it'll at least be authentic to what it'd actually be like if I had to dogfight.

The flesh is weak, but the brain is sharp. And man, does it crave high-speed violence.

"Star Fox Zero" brought a lot of emotions out of me. Satisfaction, for having finally experienced it. Frustration, for letting the opinions of others cloud my interest with it. Sadness, for how the series has languished. But, it's all in perspective. Yes, this came out a decade after a predecessor that I found distasteful. Yes, it's been seven years without another game. (Well, hell, not even that, if you want to toss in "Starlink: Battle for Atlas" or "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.") The past is written. The future is unknown. I have what I have now, and I can find value in it. And, hell. As rough as that might feel, it's still not as raw as "F-Zero" fans have got it. Or even harder, "StarTropics" fans.

If you're looking for anything like a course of action from this evaluation, then I must recommend that you play "Star Fox 64" first. OBVIOUSLY. If that whets your appetite, fantastic! I can recommend you harder and/or weirder shit after that. Hell, maybe even this game, if you want to roll up your sleeves. As an introduction to the "Star Fox" series, it's about as appealing as a haunted house. But, if you are desirous of that kind of nail-biting shock, this is a solid game to play.

I wouldn't say that you have to be like me and pick up a Wii U for just this game. But, if you've got the console and ten bucks to spare, this game is cheap enough to pick up. And if you hate it like saner people do? Then, all you'll be out is a cheeseburger. Benefits of being a late adopter to a Nintendo game, for once! How often does that happen?

Do yourself a favor; dodge "Star Fox Command." Do an indie developer a favor; pick up "Ex-Zodiac." Do Rick May a favor; get your COVID-19 vaccinations and boosters. And, obviously…the last order writes itself, doesn't it?

[maximumcupcakereview]

Ready To Run Dixie Chicks shirt

When Delores spent his first night actually out with the other chickens in the Ready To Run Dixie Chicks shirt, I was anxious about how he would handle himself, as he was pretty shy. After a few false starts (and getting pushed off perches by the other chickens) he chose a walnut branch that lead to the night perches and slept on that. When Delores became a big, beautiful Golden Phoenix adult rooster, I thought the hens would probably make absolute fools of themselves trying to get his attention – and if he ignored them it would serve them right! I suppose I should have done something about the name – but Delores responded to “Delores” and appeared fine with it. (Also, my Aunt Delores would have been devastated if I changed his name.) A friend suggested calling him “Del” – which sort of made sense – but that sounded like he was lead singer in a retro 60’s band. As long as Delores didn’t mind – and let’s face it, he didn’t care – I was perfectly content to have a sweet rooster named Delores.

Buy it now:         .Ready To Run Dixie Chicks shirt

Music Band Logo Alkaline Trio shirt

Sydney Swans 2022 AFL Premiers Signatures Shirt

Super Bowl champions Chiefs Andy Reid Mahomes Kelce shirt

The Arkansas Razorbacks 100th anniversary 1923 2023 thank you for the memories signatures shirt

The Arkansas Razorbacks 100th anniversary 1923 2023 thank you for the memories signatures shirt

I Just Want To Drink Beer And Watch My Kentucky Wildcats Beat Your Team’s Ass Shirt

Homepage: T-shirtsky.com Teeclover Molotee

Teejeep is your one-stop online shop for printed t-shirts, hoodies, phone cases, stickers, posters, mugs, and more…High quality original T-shirts. Digital printing in the USA.

Worldwide shipping. No Minimums. 1000s of Unique Designs. Worldwide shipping. Fast Delivery. 100% Quality Guarantee. to cover all your needs.

By contacting directly with suppliers, we are dedicated to provide you with the latest fashion with fair price.We redefine trends, design excellence and bring exceptional quality to satisfy the needs of every aspiring fashionista.

WHAT IS OUR MISSION?

Teeartprint is established with a clear vision: to provide the very latest products with compelling designs, exceptional value and superb customer service for everyone.

We offer a select choice of millions of Unique Designs for T-shirts, Hoodies, Mugs, Posters and more to cover all your needs.

WHY SHOP WITH US?

Why do customers come to TeeJeep.com?

Well we think there are a few reasons:

BEST PRICING

Fashion field involves the best minds to carefully craft the design. The t-shirt industry is a very competitive field and involves many risks. The cost per t-shirt varies proportionally to the total quantity of t-shirts. We are manufacturing exceptional-quality t-shirts at a very competitive price.

PRINT QUALITY DIFFERENCE

We use only the best DTG printers available to produce the finest-quality images possible that won’t wash out of the shirts.

DELIVERY IS VERY FAST

Estimated shipping times:

United States : 1-5 business days

Canada : 3-7 business days

International : from 1-2 weeks depending on proximity to Detroit, MI.

CUSTOM AND PERSONALIZED ORDERS

Custom orders are always welcome. We can customize all of our designs to your needs! Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions.

PAYMENT DO WE ACCEPT?

We currently accept the following forms of payment:

Credit Or Debit Cards: We accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Discover, Diners Club, JCB, Union Pay and Apple Pay from customers worldwide.

PayPal: PayPal allows members to have a personal account linked to any bank account or credit card for easy payment at checkout.

[bokuroskitten]

Hi kitty!!

For your Draken bday event I would like to add the following self ship scenario (I am slowly becoming more of a Draken simp)

Since we all know that he works on that motorcycle all hours of the day and since I know a lot about working on vehicles, I feel like we would be the perfect pair to open a mechanic shop.

But also, since mechanics often think that women know nothing about cars, it makes Draken realizes how much he’s fallen for me when I yell at the mechanic for trying to take more money from me.

Hope this makes sense and hope you are having an amazing day, take care of yourself mwah mwah!!

Yes join us >:))) it’s so nice over here, simping for our big handsome man 🥺💖 he literally deserves the whole world??

He was throughly surprised when he discovered your knowledge on vehicles and motor mechanics. The first time you joined a conversation with him and Inui about how to fix a certain engine they weee stumped on his eyes widened a little, heart hammering against his rib cage and the tips of his ears turning a bit pink. A voice in his head repeated over and over.

You gotta wife this one up.

And he did just that! And not only that y’all have your shop and you work so well together! The only downside is when Draken’s sees the way men look at you. Sure, it’s okay if they stare a little too long, he knows how sexy you are, but it’s when they look down on you that the veins in his head start to become more prominent and his knuckles crack.

They assume your the receptionist, ask you for a “real mechanic” when you offer advice or a helping hand. And even when you are helping one out, the slimmest bastards always try to up charge you for the service you recommend, sly smirks on their face and brows raised in mock amusement.

“Oi.” Draken is ready to step in, trying his best not to seethe at this point. But you beat him to the punch, crossing your arms about your chest. You tell the man off, rightfully so, about how that’s way over priced, and even go far as to break down how much each piece would cost, along with prices and wait times for the service he was asking for. By the time you were done, the man himself was dumbfounded, not even understanding half of the knowledge you just spilled to him.

Draken’s arm slips over your shoulders as the man sulks away from the store, his nose coming to nuzzle up against your cheek because he loves how it makes you giggle. “That’s my girl.” He simply states, the playful swat being given to your ass making you yelp and him laugh out loud before going back to work.

Yea, he picked the right one <33

Draken’s birthday party masterlist 💛

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

AGOT: Eddard IX (Chapter 35)

He found Littlefinger in the brothel's common room, chatting amiably with a tall, elegant woman who wore a feathered gown over skin as black as ink.

Why are you in a brothel, and not on a ship?

+.+

Jory Cassel stood beside a rain-streaked window with a wry smile on his face, watching Heward turn over tiles and enjoying the view.    

x

The streets of King's Landing were dark and deserted. The rain had driven everyone under their roofs. It beat down on Ned's head, warm as blood and relentless as old guilts. Fat drops of water ran down his face.    

x

Ned was soaked through to the bone, and his soul had grown cold.

Wet windows, warm rain, and soaked bones, before a disastrous altercation with a Lannister:

"My lady, you ought cover your head," Ser Rodrik told her as their horses plodded north. "You will take a chill." "It is only water, Ser Rodrik," Catelyn replied. Her hair hung wet and heavy, a loose strand stuck to her forehead, and she could imagine how ragged and wild she must look, but for once she did not care. The southern rain was soft and warm. Catelyn liked the feel of it on her face, gentle as a mother's kisses. It took her back to her childhood, to long grey days at Riverrun. 

"I am soaked through," Ser Rodrik complained. "Even my bones are wet."

She sat by the window, watching rain run down the pane.

+.+

"Robert will never keep to one bed," Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm's End. "I hear he has gotten a child on some girl in the Vale." Ned had held the babe in his arms; he could scarcely deny her, nor would he lie to his sister, but he had assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. "Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature."    

Meanwhile, Ned’s a whole grown ass man still trying to change Robert.

+.+

The girl had been so young Ned had not dared to ask her age. No doubt she'd been a virgin; the better brothels could always find a virgin, if the purse was fat enough. She had light red hair and a powdering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, and when she slipped free a breast to give her nipple to the babe, he saw that her bosom was freckled as well.

Shockingly young maiden, with red hair. Eddard, are you reminded of anyone? That’s your best friend, buddy.

+.+

Ned Stark kept his vows. He thought of the promises he'd made Lyanna as she lay dying, and the price he'd paid to keep them.    

Catelyn and Jon paid the price, Ned.

+.+

"And tell him I've not been with no one else. I swear it, milord, by the old gods and new. Chataya said I could have half a year, for the baby, and for hoping he'd come back. So you'll tell him I'm waiting, won't you? I don't want no jewels or nothing, just him. He was always good to me, truly."        

Good to you, Ned thought hollowly. "I will tell him, child, and I promise you, Barra shall not go wanting."    

Boy, that is quite the promise, given:

You’re no longer Hand of the King.

You’re returning to Winterfell.

“That was his curse. Robert would swear undying love and forget them before evenfall”

Cersei Lannister exists.

+.+

"I've also heard whispers that Robert got a pair of twins on a serving wench at Casterly Rock, three years ago when he went west for Lord Tywin's tourney. Cersei had the babes killed, and sold the mother to a passing slaver. Too much an affront to Lannister pride, that close to home."    

The mines of Casterly Rock are calling.

+.+

"Why would Jon Arryn take a sudden interest in the king's baseborn children?"    

The short man gave a sodden shrug. "He was the King's Hand. Doubtless Robert asked him to see that they were provided for."    

Littlefinger is eager to take Ned to a brothel to meet more of Robert’s bastards, but doesn’t have a clue why Jon Arryn would take an interest in the king’s baseborn children. Uh huh.

+.+

For the first time in years, he found himself remembering Rhaegar Targaryen.

What? He’s been thinking and talking about him since the very first chapter.

Suddenly, uncomfortably, he found himself recalling Rhaegar Targaryen. Fifteen years dead, yet Robert hates him as much as ever. - Eddard VIII

+.+

Riding through the rainy night, Ned saw Jon Snow's face in front of him, so like a younger version of his own. If the gods frowned so on bastards, he thought dully, why did they fill men with such lusts?   

x

He wondered if Rhaegar had frequented brothels; somehow he thought not.    

Believes Rhaegar was filled with lust for Lyanna, but was too honourable to go to a brothel. Okay, whatever.

+.+

"My lord," his voice hoarse with alarm. And in an instant, the street was full of soldiers.                 

Ned glimpsed ringmail over leather, gauntlets and greaves, steel helms with golden lions on the crests. Their cloaks clung to their backs, sodden with rain. He had no time to count, but there were ten at least, a line of them, on foot, blocking the street, with longswords and iron-tipped spears. "Behind!" he heard Wyl cry, and when he turned his horse, there were more in back of them, cutting off their retreat.

I wonder who informed Jaime Lannister of Ned Stark’s whereabouts.

+.+

"The wolves are howling," their leader said.

Oh no, are the wolves howling? That’s never good news.

+.+

He gave Littlefinger a cool, contemptuous glance. "Lord Baelish, I'd leave here in some haste if I did not care to get bloodstains on my costly clothing."        

Littlefinger did not need to be urged. "I will bring the City Watch," he promised Ned. The Lannister line parted to let him through, and closed behind him. Littlefinger put his heels to his mare and vanished around a corner.

I wonder who informed Jaime Lannister of Ned Stark’s whereabouts.

+.+

"Kill me," he warned the Kingslayer, "and Catelyn will most certainly slay Tyrion."      

Jaime Lannister poked at Ned's chest with the gilded sword that had sipped the blood of the last of the Dragonkings. "Would she? The noble Catelyn Tully of Riverrun murder a hostage? I think … not."

No, she doesn’t try to murder you... the first time.

+.+

"Still … we wouldn't want him to leave here entirely unchastened, so"—through the night and the rain, he glimpsed the white of Jaime's smile—"kill his men."    

The mines of Casterly Rock are calling.

+.+

Jory Cassel put his heels into his mount and charged. A steel-shod hoof caught a Lannister guardsman in the face with a sickening crunch. A second man reeled away and for an instant Jory was free.

(...)

Suddenly Jory was back among them, a red rain flying from his sword. "No!" Ned shouted. "Jory, away!"

This was stupid, but it’s nice Jory left the story on a heroic note. Farewell, friend.

+.+

Littlefinger and the City Watch found him there in the street, cradling Jory Cassel's body in his arms.    

Nice timing.

+.+

He remembered seeing the Red Keep looming ahead of him in the first grey light of dawn. The rain had darkened the pale pink stone of the massive walls to the color of blood.    

A grey (Stark!) dawn, and a bloodied Red Keep. Hmmm. 🤔

Final thoughts:

It’s all downhill from here. ☹️

-> return to menu <-

[firstofficerwiggles]

Dress Code, Part 1

Part 2, Part 3 (T rated), Part 3 (M rated)

Pairing: Din Djarin x female reader

Rating: T

Warnings: Some swearing, references to sexuality, mostly just fluff with some longing

Summary: You’re headed out to shop when Din takes issue with your dress

Word Count: ~3000

Author’s Note: This will be at least a two part story, possibly three parts if I can make it all connect well. This takes place at some point between seasons or maybe early on in Season 2. 

P.S. There’s a tiny nod to Ed Sheeran in this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Is that what you’re wearing?” the Mandalorian’s gruff voice questions as you are getting the child ready for a day of supply shopping. It feels like forever since you’ve been off the ship and you are in dire need of fresh food and other essentials. You swear if you have to eat one more packet of reconstituted soup your taste buds will shrivel and die. You are also desperately looking forward to breathing in fresh air and feeling the sunshine on your skin again. As luck would have it, you’ve landed in a spot that is lush and green with a moderate climate, and as you flew by overhead you spied a bright and colorful village with a bustling marketplace.

Back home you never would have considered food shopping a reason for dressing up, but after many long months on a starship, these brief outings feel like a special event to you. In your eagerness to be outside again, you decided to wear a pretty sundress that you love. It hugs your curves in all the right places but still manages to be flowy and soft, plus you know this color is one of the most flattering for you. Ok, maybe you didn’t need to also do your hair and makeup quite this nicely, but you figured, why not? it made you feel good. Plus there was the added hope that maybe the Mandalorian would look at you for once as more than just a crew member. Not that you should want him to do that, you remind yourself strictly, he is your boss after all.

“I suppose it’s a little dressier than normal for shopping, but I think I look nice,” you respond smoothing your hands over the dress and feeling a small thrill of delight that at least he noticed the dress.

Din makes a hmpf sort of sound as if he wants to disagree with you but can’t bring himself to actually say anything definitive.

“What do you think, sweet baby?” you say with a wink to the child. He grins up at you and makes his happy cooing sounds. “He seems to like it.”

“Let’s get going,” Din says, ignoring your comment and handing you your cloak.

“I don’t need my cloak, Mando, it’s a warm, sunny day out there,” you tell him.

“So, you’re just going to go out, like that, exposed.” He is still holding out the cloak to you.

“Exposed?” you say with a laugh, “This is a perfectly respectable dress.”

“Your arms are naked and so are most of your legs and toes,” he points out. His hands are on his hips and he tilts his helmet as if his eyes are traveling down your body taking in the knee-length sundress and ending at your open-toed sandals. You feel your cheeks flush and the ship seems warmer all of a sudden as he scrutinizes your body.

“Mando, I know this is more skin than you’d ever show, but trust me, non-Mandalorian women dress like this all the time,” you reason with him. “Besides, I wasn’t aware this marketplace had a strict dress code.”

“What if it does?” he retorts.

“Seriously. Is that the best you can do?” You’re getting a little annoyed at him now, and as you think about it you realize he’s made a few off-hand comments recently about the way you dress. Why is he making this an issue?

Din knows he is being a pain in the ass about the dress and it has much more to do with him than he would care to admit. He’s noticed that you wear your prettiest clothes each time you leave the ship, but this is the first time he’s openly questioned you about it. When he hired you to help him out with the child, he thought you were much too beautiful and that it was probably a bad idea. Hell, everyone always has jokes about dads and hot nannies. But he also knew that was a really shitty and misogynistic reason to deny someone a job, so he hired you because you were clearly the best candidate. Din had been absolutely right in that area and he admired the way you had bonded with the child and cared for him as if he were your own. But still, lately everything you do has been driving him crazy with desire and he’s getting more frustrated by the day. Just yesterday he had walked in on you cooking dinner, playing music, and dancing around the ship’s tiny galley. He was transfixed as you swayed your hips to the beat and listened to the singer crooning to you that he was in love with your body. It had made him flee to the fresher for a cold shower just to calm down. Frankly, the sight of you in this dress is making him yearn for another cold dousing. Besides that, he knows that the moment you get to the marketplace, his eyes won’t be the only ones on you, a thought that makes his stomach churn with ill-placed jealousy, but one that does give him an idea for a better counter-argument.

“You’ll attract too much attention.” Din finally tells you soundly.

“Excuse me? Mr. Head-to-Toe Beskar? I attract too much attention.” You sound incredulous.

“I attract the right kind of attention that says, ‘back off’,” he replies, “but you attract horny male attention, that seems to say, ‘hang around and be a pain’.”

“Oh, puh-lease. I’m not the only one who can attract horny male attention, Mando,” you sass back at him with a playful look, “The galaxy takes all kinds, and who can resist a man in shining armor?”

“Well,” Din clears his throat and looks away for a moment, “that may be the case,” he mutters, but then he turns his visor back towards you, and says more confidently, “but the men you attract are much more aggressive and persistent.”

“Maker, Mando, that was like one time, and he took off after you punched him.” You will admit there was a scene a few weeks ago in a particularly rowdy cantina where some creep wouldn’t leave you alone, until the Mandalorian hauled off and hit him square in the nose. You had been mortified at the time that he had needed to do it, but you would also swear that Mando had enjoyed punching the guy.

“I didn’t like your dress that night either,” Din lies to you. He did like it but he didn’t like seeing other men like it too.

You roll your eyes at that comment and sigh, “Since when do you care so much about my clothing choices?”

“I care when they might bring you unwanted attention,” he insists, “I do feel a responsibility for your welfare even if you don’t seem to.”

“Well, listen, is there any chance you are going to let me wander around this marketplace alone?” you ask changing tactics.

“Hell no,” he replies swiftly.

“Ok, then, problem solved.”

“What do you mean ‘problem solved’?”

“I mean no one is going to bother me if you are by my side all day,” you explain. He crosses his arms at this, but he doesn’t have a response. “That creep in the cantina only got so bold because I was by myself at the bar while you were negotiating that bounty. I’m sure he wouldn’t have dared try anything if you had been right there.” You decide to take things a bit further in attempt to end this silly argument, “Would you care to make a wager?”

“A wager?” he’s curious now.

“If a man hits on me while you’re by my side, I’ll let you pick out my clothing for a month. However, if no one hits on me, you say nothing about my clothing for two months.”

“One month,” he counters.

“Alright, fine, one month, either way,” you agree. “But, it only counts if you are by my side, if you walk away from me all bets are off.”

“I won’t be walking away from you, and you better not wander off either,” he warns.

“Do we have a deal?” You hold out your hand for him to shake.

“Deal,” he says taking your hand.

---------------------------------------------

Your little party picks their way through the marketplace with ease stopping by stalls of fresh fruit, vegetables, cheeses, breads, and a delectable selection of pastries that has the child reaching out with both hands from his floating pram. The sneaky rascal had got a particularly large one in his mouth before you even had a chance to make your selection. Thankfully the vendor was entranced by his adorable face and hadn’t been bothered at all by his momentary thievery. This village has been nice and you’re enjoying the day not just due to the lovely weather, but also because of your little competition with the Mandalorian. You’ve noticed men giving you appreciative looks, but you’ve been cozying up to your Mando as much as possible, even going so far as to put your hand in the crook of his arm at times as you walk through the streets. In a few instances you were a little worried you might lose the wager when a particularly enthusiastic vendor was trying to make a sale, but fortunately for you, everyone had stayed polite and focused on helping you make your selections.

Din could see that he was well on his way to losing this wager. Normally, that would irritate him thanks to his competitive nature, but spending time with you like this was worth it. He had the chance to watch your happy face as you strolled through the colorful market and to listen to you cheerfully greet people and negotiate prices to get the best bargains. There was such an easy enthusiasm about you as you took pleasure in something that otherwise would have been mundane. It made him feel more lighthearted too. Yet the best part of this shopping trip was how attentive you were being towards him. Din was thoroughly enjoying the way you checked with him before making final selections of your purchases, the way your hand touched his arm, and the way you kept looking over to him with a smile. You were even letting him place a hand on the small of your back at times as he guided you towards different stalls. He had been right about you drawing attention from other men, but apart from a few appreciative glances, they had stayed away, no doubt because to all outward appearances Din and you looked like a couple.

You’ve been making good progress on your shopping list, and there are just a few more items you want to get before heading back to the Crest. You know you are supposed to be focused on picking up the essentials for the next few weeks, but your eye is drawn to a jeweler’s stall nearby and the pretty pieces he has on display. You let yourself wander over as the Mandalorian follows.

“Good afternoon,” the vendor greets you cheerfully, “please take a look, it’s all my own work, handcrafted right here,” and he gestures to a workshop behind the stall. He has many beautiful items but one necklace in particular catches your eye. It is a pendant shaped like a flower and it looks to be made of some type of silver. The flower has a second shinier metal filigree on top creating a lovely design that is topped off with tiny silver balls that glint in the sunlight.

“Would you like to try it on?” the jeweler asks you.

“Oh, I’d love to,” you reply eagerly. You lift the pendant up and place it around your neck, and then try to clasp it, but with your hair in the way, you can’t seem to get it to latch.

“Allow me,” Din’s fingers replace your own. You lift your hair up for him, and then tell yourself to breathe as his gloves gently brush over your neck. Perhaps it’s your imagination, but it feels as if he lets his hands linger there longer than necessary. When he takes a step back, you whirl around and ask, “How does it look?”

“You look beautiful,” Din replies, more honestly than he planned, your eyes lighting up at his compliment. He watches you turn back around towards a mirror the jeweler has set up to admire the necklace yourself. His eyes are drawn back to the pendant which is now glittering just at the top of your cleavage enticingly. He watches your delighted face in the mirror, enjoying the simple pleasure of wearing something beautiful.

“Your wife has excellent taste,” the jeweler’s words cause Din to turn his head and come back to the rest of the world. “That’s one of my favorite pieces.”

“What it’s made of?” Din asks the jeweler, not bothering to correct him on the word ‘wife’.  

“It’s silver with beskar plating,” the jeweler explains, “I’m not surprised she likes it so much,” he says in a conspiratorial whisper and a slightly cheeky glance at the Mandalorian.

“How much?” Din asks.

You haven’t been paying any attention to Din and the jeweler; you’ve been too busy admiring the pretty necklace and imagining what it would be like to wear it to a special night out with your favorite dress. You’re so caught up in your daydreaming that it isn’t until you hear a merry laugh from the jeweler that you realize how long you’ve been staring at yourself in the mirror. Your cheeks flush thinking that you must look so vain, and you turn to the jeweler and say, “Thank you so much for letting me try this on, but I suppose I better take it off now.”

“There’s no need, lovely lady, your husband has already purchased it for you,” he says with a grin.

You’re stunned both by the jeweler calling the Mandalorian your husband and with delight that he has bought you such a beautiful gift. Before you realize what you’re doing, you throw your arms around Din in a hug and thank him profusely. He is stiff for a second, not sure how to react to your embrace, but then, his arms come up to encircle you and he pulls you in tighter to his chest. He can’t remember the last time anyone hugged him and he has missed it more than he knew. For a moment, Din allows himself to enjoy the intimacy of holding you like this, and he imagines what it would be like to be able to hug you all the time.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Din tells you softly, the term of endearment slipping from his lips before he can stop himself. Your cheeks flush with pleasure at his words and when you pull back away from him your face is shining with the brightest smile he’s ever seen. The bustling marketplace falls away and it’s just the two of you standing in the sunlight with electricity buzzing between you, until the child coos loudly reminding you both of his presence.

“We should, uh, get the rest of the… supplies,” Din says sounding a little flustered. You understand that’s he’s feeling a bit shy right now after that public display of affection. You’re feeling the same way, wondering what all of this could mean. But you know that now is not the time to reflect on those thoughts, and instead you turn back to the child, scooping him up for a quick cuddle so he no longer feels left out. The Mandalorian also reaches out to give the kid’s long ears a stroke and says, “Are you still hungry, buddy? C’mon we’ll get you another snack.”

The rest of your shopping trip passes quickly and you’re back at the Razor Crest shortly thereafter. You are still floating on air after the day you’ve had. You keep sneaking glimpses at your new necklace and smiling to yourself like a besotted school girl. Even the drudgery of unloading and then securing all the supplies in the ship doesn’t put a damper on your spirits. The Mandalorian seems to be sharing in your joyfulness, humming a little as he lifts heavy crates and sneaks a few extra treats to the child. You’re getting ready to depart, when he turns to you and says, “Well, I suppose I should congratulate you on winning our wager.”

“That’s right, I did win,” you say happily almost having forgotten about the whole silly bet, “I knew no one would bother me with you right next to me.”

“Yes, it appears you were right about that,” he says grudgingly, “this time.”

“So that means one whole month with no comments about what I choose to wear,” you remind him.

“This doesn’t mean you should take this as an excuse to wear your most scandalous outfits,” Din tries to tell you.

“Uh-uh, the month starts now, no comments from you, sir,” you reply cheekily to him. You laugh a little to yourself, scandalous outfits, he’s being so dramatic.

“I’m going to get us on our way,” Din concedes his defeat and turns to head to the cockpit, but he can’t help to get in one last word as he tells you, “I’m sure your new necklace will look just as pretty with your more conservative clothes.”

“Maybe,” you reply attempting for a nonchalant tone, but failing spectacularly as your eyes light up at his suggestion.

Din makes his way back up to his pilot’s chair and begins the take-off procedure. He shouldn’t have made that comment about the scandalous outfits, it will just give you ideas filled with your sheerest and most revealing garments. But then, he has an idea of his own. Smirking under his helmet at his own cunning, he punches in the coordinates to the icy world of Hoth and makes the jump to hyperspace.

----------------------------------

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for Part 2.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Hi! The theme in my upcoming campaign is the consequences of imperialism, and I'm going to show that theme through a war between two empires and the devastation it causes. However, I'm unsure how to characterize the empires besides good vs evil, which I want to avoid. I also want to avoid making the tone too dark and depressing; the party should feel like there's something they can do about it that matters. I also want to have a dragon fight that doesn't feel contrived. Any advice or ideas?

Adventure: The Protectorate, and its Price

Loyalty to the Haladrans offers three things, sure as the sun will come up tomorrow: Peace, prosperity, and a gun to the back of your head. You’d be surprised how much of the world is willing to take that deal. 

Setup: The coastal nation of Eandoca is perhaps one of the most beautiful you might ever visit, as every inch of its rolling, bucolic landscape seems as artiful and manicured as a pleasure garden, its people happy, it’s settlements clean and free of suffering. This is not the result of some edenic quirk of nature, but the careful and deliberate oversight by the Protectorate of Ven-Haladra, an occupying military force that sees this land and the people within it as an orchardkeeper might see a tree: something to be nourished, pruned, and cultivated so long as it continues to bear fruit. 

No one seems to mind the Haladrans, their iron grip is light, and they rule through native proxies, fools raised in fortresses turned pleasure gardens where their education has instilled them with a deep love of their nation’s culture and beauty, and a total reliance on their Protectorate advisors to make decisions. 

Life goes on however, and the tension between The colonizer’s patronizing, not-tyranny and Eandoca’s growing prosperity as the Protectorate’s foremost trade port is growing. The flow of wealth means the development of new industries and new learning that the Protectorate can’t sanitize, and the human spirit always bucks against captivity, even if it can’t see the chains. 

Adventure Hooks: 

By preventing their subjugated lands from raising their own militias, the Protectorate simultaneously enforces their monopoly on military power and ensures that same military governance is stretched very thin. Criminals need to be caught, monsters need to be driven off, and by preventing the Eandocans from forming their own garrisons the Protectorate forms a reliance on mercenary adventurers to do the same. Whether drawn from locals put under direct protectorate control or hired from elsewhere and shipped to a problem region, there is good work to be had for a sellsword looking to make their fortune, provided they’re willing to deal with constant scrutiny and hand off any moral judgements to a colonial administrator. 

Something is desperately wrong in one of the palace gardens. Petitioners wait in a great line outside the door for appointments that are weeks overdue, and the gates remain shut with no sign of movement inside. Though it may be culturally taboo to say so, someone ( or a group of someones) should find a way inside ( scale the wall maybe, or find one of those fabled secret entrances among the foundations? ), and see what’s going on exactly. Inside the party will find a bizarre sickness has swept through the palace, leaving many dead and most in an exhausted torpor. The one witness who could tell them exactly what was going on would be Ambasitor Yiji, one of the higher dryad diplomats the Protectorate employs to carry their will seamlessly between their holdings. Problem is, the sickness seems to have affected Yiji in some odd way, causing her to become an almost feral thing of roots and vines that’s territorially protecting the garden where her bonded tree grows.  

Blood spills, gunsmoke fills the air, and the drums of war begin their distant, ominous beat. As the tale goes, a week ago a group of sailors from a rival empire were getting rowdy in port , their carousing escalating to violence and assault against several Eandocan townsfolk. The Protectorate garrison was called in to quell the disturbance, but ended up as part of some kind of colonial imperialistic feedback loop. The garrison thrashed the sailors, who limped back home to their ship and told all their fellows about how “unfriendly” the locals had been. Full of patriotism and machismo, the foreigners found the Garrisonhouse and set it on fire, as the doctrinal Ven-Haladran answer to insurrection is “ take them out back and shoot them while speaking calming platitudes “ this turned out to be a bad idea.  Days pass, things escalate, and a couple of the foreign ships end up firing on the port in revenge for a third that’s sinking into the bay with all hands aboard.    This is a diplomatic massacre, one that neither side will apologies for anytime soon, which will have dire consequences in the days to come. 

Background: To read the accepted histories , a generation or so ago the Land of Eandoca was a chaotic patchwork of warlords and bandit kings. Having suffered through a century of strife after the collapse of their corrupt and oligarchical ruling dynasty, the people cried out for salvation and The Protectorate of Ven-Haladra  answered. These foreign allies (opportunistic expansionists) waged a campaign of pacification against the scattered dynastic holdouts and other belligerents, then established a new, just, ruling power ( puppet state) under their enlightened and abstracted guidance ( total administrative and military control). 

As colonial overlords go, the Protectorate is not the cruelest, but it is the most patronizing: enforcing an idealized, pastoral way of life on the subjugated Eandocan populace while cultivating their country like one would a newly tilled garden. They even minimalize their place in history while warping it to their purpose: the warring states era they interceded in was well over two centuries ago, but in order to make their occupation seem to be a “temporary” measure, their presence always necessary to prevent a backslide into chaos, they keep it just outside of the living memory, keeping history texts vauge and ensuring their colonial subjects live in half remembered dream of their own history. 

Such illusions of ignorance and false reality have let the Ven-Haladra hold onto almost a dozen such colonial holdings across their home continent, purposefully isolated, culturally stagnant, and carefully monitored, all while the Protectorate grows ever more advanced and prosperous by their purloined wealth. 

Ven-Haladra calls itself “ The Provisional Empire” implying there is some future state at which it will no longer be necessary to perform such barbarous conquests. It sees its absorption and cultural gaslighting of its neighbors as a kindness, sparing them from the heavy duties of having to interface with the cruelties of the world at large, preserving their cultures in amber until the empire is capable of “uplifting” them to the proper state.

To the Asker: Hi there, I hope that gives you something to go off of! It’s always difficult to detail full campaigns in a single prompt. That said, I think the pitch of “showing the fallout of empire while also showing them clash” is great,  though I’ll add the caviat that the party should belong atleast inpart to the Colonized, as being a third party who stands to gain/lose based on the outcome of that conflict will lead to some interesting thematic tensions. 

I started with Ven-Haladra because I think it’s a great “ devil you know” when it comes to colonial occupation. Its evil, but in the same way that Disney is evil, ubiquitous and condescending, happy to make you happy so long as you keep being productive. Ideally, they’d be put up against a destructive, transformative empire ( Peace vs Chaos) that wants to throw its weight around and doesn’t care about the consequences. Do the party use this disaster to free their home from their current oppressor ? Do they become heroes of the status quo, then use that influence as leverage for more independence? 

I think you’d want to run this campaign with a few time skips, act 1 happening totally under Ven-Haladra’s thumb, establishing the norms and ending with that fight in the harbor, act 2 is the war itself, the two empires clashing with Eandocan as the battleground, and act 3 is determining is facing off against whoever the victor of that war might be. 

Hope that helps, and if you end up running with any of this, please let me know how it goes!

Art Source 1

Art Source 2

[ad1thi]

2020 fic recs!! [Part 1]

this idea was stolen from @iam93percentstardust cuz i just,,,thought that this year was absolute shit and it would be nice to make a fic rec list of fics from this year that helped me through it. this will be over a range of fandoms and ships, but all fics were written this year. 

fics are ordered by the month they were published. ive tried to keep to five fics per month, but this is not obviously all the fics ive read that month - i just didn’t want to make this insanely long. 

im releasing the first half of this on the 1st of December, and the second half on the 1st of January 2021 - because otherwise it would just get so long (and also so i will actually have fics for December)

happy reading!! hopefully you find fics on this you haven’t read yet

***

January

The cat is mighty dignified (until the dog comes by): @five-wow

Steve and Danny find them on the pillow in the corner of the dining area, where Eddie is on his side, ass half on the floor because the pillow is more cat-sized than lab-sized, and Pickles is nestled between Eddie’s front legs, essentially being spooned and looking very I-got-the-cream about it. Pickles’ head is tucked into the crook of Eddie’s neck and Eddie’s head slots perfectly on top of Mr. Pickles’, like a furry jigsaw puzzle.

“They’re cuddling,” Steve points out, unnecessarily.

Or: There is a love story unfolding under the McGarrett roof.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America: @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.

Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again.

The Best Laid Plans (Of Mice and Men): @arboreal-elm-ash-oak

His Dark Materials AU

It was Annalise who noticed their small visitor first.

“Tony,” the spider daemon said softly, skittering up the collar of his dress shirt, two of her eight legs resting delicately against his cheek, “Don’t startle them, but I believe we have a guest. Look, by the coffee table.”

Fourteen Million to One: @tunastorks

Six months after Thanos, six months after Tony’s death, six months after Steve returns to his own timeline, Tony Stark turns up on their doorstep.

Brewed Awakening: @iam93percentstardust

Two years after he comes out of the ice, Steve is drifting through life. On his teammate's recommendation, he decides to go back to school where he meets the grandson of an old friend. He finds happiness with Tony but Steve won't be in Boston forever and someone is out to hurt the Starks. Will Steve and Tony be able to reach their happily ever after?

February

the young, the reckless and the foolish: @bruciewayne

In most universes, they don't know each other, not in the slightest, or they hate each other, in a way that's perfectly logical for anyone who were to find themselves in a similar situation.

In this one, they've known each other since they were four years old and naively idealistic.

This is them over the years, against the odds.

a giant sign: @areiton

“Think you can get him to open the weapons division up again?” his CO asks, his voice hungry and Rhodey laughs because this--

“No. Tony hung up his weapons.”

“That’s not what the suit says,” his CO objects, and Rhodey shrugs.

Tony has always had rules, rules he expects the entire world to live by.

And then there was Rhodey, slipping under them.

my heart is driftwood, floating down your coast: @nethandrake

Tonight, there’s a stranger in his backseat. That’s not unusual.

He’s also sad. That’s not unusual either.

What is unusual is that the stranger is silent.

(One night, a stranger enters Steve's taxi. Nothing is the same again.)

Just A Cold: @/delighted 

There’s a new text waiting for him. It’s from Steve of course, and it’s vaguely threatening as most messages from Steve are these days. Still Danny ignores it, and now he’s really playing with fire. Maybe it’ll burn the cold out of him.

Or, Danny’s sick, and Steve can’t stay away. The usual comfort fluff. With a little cameo from a gently meddling Grace.

An Unexpected Guide: @/Rachel500

Danny Williams has hidden his Guide status to keep being a detective, but his time of hiding is up when he unexpectedly finds his Sentinel, Steve McGarrett in the midst of a tragedy.

March

Why don’t we (Collide the spaces that divide us): @five-wow

When they finally catch sight of each other again through the milling crowds, they’re both a little worse for wear. Danny’s left side is covered in glitter and every time he brushes a hand over his hair, more blue and purple confetti rains down. Steve is- Well, Steve is randomly shirtless, which is all things considered not excessively remarkable, but he’s also covered in smudges of colorful paint and has a very nicely printed bloodred lipstick kiss mark on his cheek.

“What did you do?” Danny asks, because it looks like Steve had a lot more fun than he did.

Or: Steve and Danny accidentally end up in the middle of something entirely new.

A Little Unsteady: @finduilasclln 

Written for the Tumblr prompt meme : "Hey! I was gonna eat that!"

Tony lashes out at Bucky for eating his dessert. Only, it really isn't about the dessert.

a national treasure: @starklysteve

Steve isn't looking for an apple and Tony decides his passion is to inspire young souls. -x- OR: the AU where Tony is a Youtuber and Steve is Captain America and somehow they still save the world together.

April

cycle through: @ambivalentmarvel

Twenty-five years ago, Tony Stark disappeared from his family home a month after the tragic deaths of his parents, Howard and Maria Stark, leaving a billion-dollar tech conglomerate without an heir and the world wondering what happened.

Twenty-three years ago, HYDRA gained another super soldier.

Ten years ago, Peter Parker’s parents died in what is ruled as a home invasion gone wrong but he knows was murder, plain and simple, because he spoke to the killer.

And in the present, Project Insight fails, and the Iron Soldier pays the price.

FOREVER-LOVE YOU-I: @/Eudoxia

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

Especially for Tony's soulmate.

--

Companion piece to my fic Thumb, Index, and Pinky Extended. This is Steve's POV, with a few extra scenes, as a treat.

(Edit: Sorry if you guys get multiple notifications for this. I just realized (about two hours after posting it) that I fucked up the grammar in the title and I HAD to fix it. YOLO, I guess.)

come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk

Steve clears his throat.

“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.

“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”

What.

“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.

What. What. What.

“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?

Steve Rogers, what have you done?

i don’t have a choice (but i’d still choose you): @nethandrake

There’s a name inked onto his chest, a name written in an all-too familiar scrawl. And it’s— It’s—

Steve doesn’t realize his body is quaking until he’s tracing the tattoo with a shaky finger.

Because of course that is the name etched into the skin. Like a brand, a reminder for everything he has done. An appropriate retribution.

Anthony Edward Stark.

(When Thanos snaps half of the universe away, he unknowingly leaves the other half with soulmarks.)

ua haʻalele ʻoe iaʻu (a ua hoʻomālamalama ʻoe iaʻu): @just-fandomthings

"The truth is, I was shot in the chest and nearly died, and not even three days after I was released from the hospital, you up and left-- and of those two, I'm not sure which one hurt me worse!"

(Coda to 10x22 because come on, we all need a better ending than the one given to us.)

Title loosely translates to: "You left me in the dark (you lit me up)" -- inspired by the brilliant song "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur

May

A Piece Of The Past: @hddnone

It had been so many years since Bucky had gone undercover in the Stark family's mob, he thought he'd gotten away clean.

Then Tony Stark slid into the seat across from him at his breakfast diner, and Bucky's boss has a new case for him.

the privilege of loving you: @starklysteve

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

It’s a desperate plea, half-shouted and half-whispered, Steve’s voice cracking at the end. Tony stops in his tracks, halfway to the stairs. He doesn’t dare to turn back, and he really doesn’t want to fight, or to leave, to spend the last month of his life away from his husband and their son. But Steve can’t know, can he?

-x-

Or: Tony has palladium poisoning, but he doesn't tell Steve and Peter

your pillow feels so soft now (but still you must advance): @firebrands

When Bruce is 13, he decides to go to boarding school. It's an opportunity for him to learn about other people, and how to interact with them.

Bruce has the misfortune of meeting Tony Stark upon his arrival in Roxbury. Bruce is moving into his room, and Tony opens the door of his room to watch. He looks a bit younger than Bruce, hair wild and eyes bright. Bruce has never seen a boy like him before—handsome and confident.

Bruce doesn’t like it.

IMPORTANT: This fic has them meeting at 14, then progresses slowly until they’re 17. Includes underage drinking and kissing.

This is set before Bruce becomes Batman and Tony becomes Iron Man and I have no explanation as to how or why they just DO Canonically, Bruce is 17 when he finishes school and goes around the world to train, so we're sticking with that

The Real MVP: @sword-and-stars (part of a series)

[“I have saved this Tuesday!” Sokka announces, rattling the bag upon reentry.

Zuko doesn’t even look up from his phone as he deadpans, “It’s Thursday.”

Okay, so Sokka is still having trouble getting his days right without checking. At least he’s gone back to sleeping at night! Going to bed at night is way easier when you have a cute, cuddly boyfriend who starts falling asleep around eleven o’clock. It also helps that he and Zuko are on solid gold butt-touching terms.

It’s been a while since Sokka has been on butt-touching terms with someone and it’s amazing.]

Or,

Sokka knows a guy, gets laid, and introduces Zuko to the merits of an afternoon delight.

When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it): @riotwritesthings

There’s a tiny safe house, with one tiny window and one tiny couch.

And one tiny little bed.

June

Nice Fingers: @anthonyed

A single compliment given by Tony stirs Bucky restless until he caves in and asks him out on a date.

With Steve’s help of course (whether he likes it or not).

The Darkest Touch: @starkrogerrs

This is the story of how Steve finds that it has been ordained that he is to marry a monster he cannot resist aka the God of Love himself, Tony.

It's Cupid x Psyche retold, but with thrice the amount of porn.

The Night Shift:  @weethreequarter

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

Wind Beneath My Wings: @iam93percentstardust

Sam first meets Tony Stark in 2005 when he joins the EXO-7 Falcon program.

In jest: @/apathyinreverie

“No, babe,” Danny shakes his head with a grin. “If the apocalypse were to go down while I’m elsewhere for some godforsaken reason, then you stay put and I’m coming to wherever you are.” His grin widens. “And I expect you to have cleared any aliens or zombies or whatever else might be messing with us off the island and to have set up a nice, comfortable military dictatorship for us to rule over by the time I get back.”

It’s a joke.

Of course it’s a joke.

Until it isn’t.

(A the-day-after-tomorrow-style apocalypse AU, where the world decides to end right when Danny is visiting one of the other islands with Grace. Because, of course, it does.)

[darkisrising]

Five Times, by DarkIsRising pt3(pt1)

What’s that you say? That’s confusing? Lol, you are absolutely right, but in my defense, this section is getting looooong. So I’ve split part 3 into two parts. If you need to catch up with the story thus far: part one | part two Five Times Din and Luke Met (and one time they never parted)

3.  

The third time he sees him, Luke actually gets the drop on the Mandalorian for a change.

He’s working on his X-Wing in a hanger on Mos Eisley, back for round two with this artifact he now has confirmation is definitely, for sure, absolutely, possibly, perhaps still here. Which is the best lead he’s had in weeks, so here he is. Docked in a hangar, repairing the worst of some damage his ship had sustained flying through an asteroid belt.

Be it the Force that Luke has been learning to listen to these past few years or the sheer dumb luck his childhood friend Biggs used to say followed him around like slime off a Hutt, either way it just so happens that Luke is glancing up at the sky right as a very distinctive pre-Empire gunship cuts through the atmo.

“Keep working on the ‘fighter, Artoo,” he says, sounding reasonably calm though his heart has kicked into hyperdrive. “I need to go see someone about something.”

He hasn’t gone two steps when he’s accosted by the hangar’s once-mechanic now-manager, who’s so pissed her dark, curly hair has reached truly epic proportions around her head. And maybe her moods and her hair aren’t actually connected, but it has always seemed that way to Luke.

“You can’t leave that here.”

“Oh, come on, Peli.” Luke is sure that Jedi aren’t supposed to whine, but since no one is really supposed to know he’s a Jedi—Leia’s orders—he tries to only do Jedi things when his face is covered in a hood. So instead right now he’s just Luke Skywalker: back on Tatooine for a visit. Which means he’s Luke Skywalker: hapless farm boy about to get a scolding.

“Nuh uh. Don’t give me those big, blue eyes, Skywalker. Two weeks. Two weeks you left me with that thing taking up space in my hangar. Costing me a perfectly good berth while you were out galavantin’ around—”

“I told you I got picked up by a bounty hunter—”

Her nostrils flare as her eyes narrow, but Luke knows from experience that her moods tend to blow over quickly. He just has to stand there and weather it first. Which would normally be fine except there’s a Mandalorian somewhere nearby and if his plan is going to work he’s going to need to get out from bay three-five a lot faster than it’s currently happening.

Luke sighs, posture sinking down until he’s less of the poised, blade-sharpened Jedi he’s been working on becoming and more the boy he’d once been.

“Yeah and whose fault is that?” Peli Motto’s stance widens, her fists find her hips, and she settles in for the long haul. “Skywalker, you have been a pain in my ass since the day the Darklighter boy pulled you in here to gawk at the ships and it never stopped, not once, in all those years you spent bugging all the pilots with your kriffing karking questions. Now you seem to think all this time later you can show up here with that New Republic stink all over you and with bounties on your moisture farmer head and I’m supposed to let you do whatever you want for old time’s sake? Boy, I know you must be space-addled if you think for one click I’m just going to roll over and let you cost me pay on top of whatever else you’re getting me mixed up in.”

The years he’s spent away from Tatooine dissolve and he’s feeling almost sure that at any minute Aunt Beru is going to be commed to come get her nephew out from underfoot at the hangar again.

“I’m really sorry, Ms. Motto,” he says, like he used to be made to say by his aunt, her hand biting into his bicep where she held him as she whispered be polite. “I never meant to cause you any trouble.”

“You never do, kid,” she grouses, pulling down the towel that had been thrown over her shoulder to swipe the grease off her hands. “I agreed to let you fix your ship, nothing else.”

“I know, it’s just that there’s someone I’ve gotta go talk to. He isn’t far, just somewhere in the hangar. I won’t be long, promise,” Luke lies easily. “I’ll be back so fast you won’t even know I was ever gone.”

She relents with a scowl and a flap of her greased up towel.

Luke bends over the cockpit to grab his poncho, whispering to Artoo before he leaves: “It’s not going to be that fast, but I’ll be back for you as soon as I can make it.”

Artoo gives a series of concerned clicks and whirs while Luke is throwing his poncho on, running out while behind him he can hear Peli Motto yelling: “Wait. What did he say to you? Don’t roll away from me, droid, I know you understand me.”

He’s not worried about Artoo giving him up. He knows how to keep a secret.

*

Luke sprints through the hangar, dodging the pilots and mechanics and service droids as he goes. There’s a corridor between a few of the docking bays that he remembers and Luke slips into it, emerging out the other side to the bright suns beating down from their perch high in the sky.

His eyes quickly scan the crowd for a glint of beskar and a sharply hewed helmet. He spots it, and can’t help but grin when he realizes that he’s really done it. For once he’s the one that will be catching the Mandalorian off guard. Luke draws the shadows around him as he steps near, careful not to tip his hand before he’s ready.

The Mandalorian is looking over a speeder as the owner haggles over the rental price. He watches, amused, and when he’s ready he drops his Force cloaking so that as far as the Mandalorian is concerned, he’s appeared out of nowhere.

If there is a way for a man in a helmet to look surprised, well then that’s how the Mandalorian looks when he notices Luke standing there, grinning like the idiot everyone in Tatooine knows him to be.

“Don’t say anything,” Luke says raising his hand and he doesn’t mean to but there might be the slightest push of Force persuasion in his words. He shakes his head, and lets how much he wants this to happen leave his voice. Luke’s not looking to compel anyone into sleeping with him here, not even by accident. “I just think you should know that right now I'm not in your custody.”

“But you’re going to be,” comes the response after a long, assessing moment. His voice through the modulator doesn’t sound threatening, just matter of fact.

“Okay, well, maybe. But right now I’m not.”

“Okay?”

“Right,” Luke agrees, talking fast, his nerves making the skin around his mouth tingle faintly. “So since I’m not currently in your custody I was thinking that it, you know, wouldn't be unethical if we. You know.”

The Chagrian with the speeder quickly cuts his eyes to the side as he realizes with a darkening of his blue skin what kind of conversation he’s suddenly found himself in the middle of. “I’ll just…” he says before clearing his throat and wandering off.

After that it’s just the two of them, alone in a crowd. Luke can feel the weight of the Mandalorian’s gaze as it studies him through the blacked out visor of his helmet. It’s a long silence, and the longer it drags on Luke gets the sinking suspicion that he’s just going to be dragged back to the gunship in cuffs and thrown into carbonite. Again.

“Yeah, okay,” the Mandalorian says at last.

What? “Wait. What?” Wait. “Really?”

“Yeah. Come on,” he doesn’t sound particularly eager, but he also doesn’t sound particularly uneager, either.

Luke’s shoulder is grabbed by a gloved hand and he finds himself dragged toward an alley that takes them further from the hangar.

“But the helmet stays on,” he’s warned sternly and Luke nods quickly as he struggles to get his feet underneath himself so he can follow the Mandalorian’s brisk pace.

“I can work with that.”

(tbc)

[madd-devil]

Felix x reader imagine

Warning: language I guess?

This will be at least 3 parts, it is a slow falling in love story

@nevereverlandboys

You hated how Felix was. 

He always was so full of himself, always mean and horrible with everyone. You stopped counting the numbers of boys who were being heavily injured by him. No one dared to speak to Felix. He spoke with his fists and not his mind. 

You were known as a kind and soft spoken girl, you were considered as a mother by some boys (usually by the littlest ones), always taking care and tending to the boys. That was the price to pay to live in safety and on the island, that's why Pan tolerated you. He knew how much you were valuable for them. 

You appreciated every boy. You understood their histories, their traumas. After all, there was indeed an reason why they were living here. The only one who didn't break his shell was Felix. Each time you tried talking to him, or even tried to take care of his wounds, he would yell at you and push you away. 

One time he even tried to raise an hand on you, and Devin slammed him against the ground before he could do anything. After some times, you realised Felix was just an horrible being. He loved to kill and hurt people. That's all he was doing. 

You sighed as you finished putting the boys clothes on a line between two trees near a small hill, it was getting pretty late but you were certain of making back to the camp safely. You took the wooden basket and turned around only to face a pointy sword. You gasped as you saw the captain Hook, the infamous pirate who often sailed his ship around the island. You didn't understand why Pan let him walking around, he was after all a serious threat. 

You started to get nervous as more pirates showed up. You only encountered Hook and his crew a couple of times, usually when he was making deals with Peter Pan. 

"Hello." You breathed out with a shaking voice as you tried to back away. 

"Always so polite… I wonder why you didn't turn like every boy on this island… dirty and mouth full of bad words." 

"What do you want Hook?" You asked. 

He snickered as he put down his sword. As you backed away to the tree, he leant next to you. It made you incredibly uneasy and you cursed your short height. 

"What I want? I want you to follow me, so I can finally lay a trap for Pan and kill him." 

He was so close and you gagged at what he just said. There was no way you could escape him. Maybe if you gained more times, the boys will start looking for you. 

"What makes you think Pan will come to save me?" 

"Well, you are his precious diamond, a jewel from Neverland. I am pretty sure he would come running after you because you're like… his second in command." 

"I am not Felix." 

"I know you are easier to capture and you won't put a fit when we get you." He replied. 

"Say that again!" A voice yelled from behind the wet laundry. 

You didn't understand what was happening but someone tackled you down and suddenly, you were both rolling across the hill. The rocks and branches were slicing your clothes and skin. 

Then, you stopped at a rocky area and you released a breath. Someone was laying in top of you and you could only see a dirty head full of blond tangled hair laying on your chest. You didn't have time to think after hearing a crack beneath you and you both fell into a small cave with a scream.

Your back was hurting you but after a quick check, you didn't have anything broken. You would just have huge bruises for a few weeks. The person was still laying on you and you pushed him off you when you realised who it was. The boy fell next to you with a groan.

"Felix! What… How? Why did you do that?!" 

"A thank you would have suffice you know?" He stated, sitting against the wall. "If it was not for me, you would be captured by Hook and we will have to come rescue you, which is a waste of time." 

"Why are you so mean?" You hissed. "You are always..  being an ass with everyone except Pan! What, are you in love with him or something?"

He huffed and glared at you from the other side or the cave. It was rather small and there was a huge hole above the both of you. You wondered if there was any way to climb there and go back to camp.  You touched the rocks and realised it was too much slippery for you to climb on. 

"We're trapped here you idiot." 

"I am not an idiot!" You hissed at the blond haired boy.

"Look at that, she has fire after all. I always thought you were a weak girl." 

"Shut up." You growled, understanding there was no way you could leave. 

The boys would notice your absence. They always do. You hoped they would come quickly, you didn't want to spend the night with Felix, all alone. You didn't know what he was thinking and it made you uneasy. You didn't know him well but you knew a lot to know that he was never messing around. 

You could see the bright moon, and the stars were shining brightly. A typical night in Neverland. It was never hot, never cold. It was a mystery, and you were pretty sure it was because of Pan and his magic. Once he got pretty mad when the pirates took some lost boys hostages and it was the first time you saw a storm on the island. It was incredible. 

You felt something hitting you at your leg and you frowned. When you realised it was coming from Felix, who was throwing little rocks at you, you took a bigger one and hit him straight in the face. He howled in pain, clutching his cheek. It was a little bruised but nothing too serious. Last thing you needed was to take care of him. You always hated to care for the blond haired boy when he was injured or sick. 

"You bitch!"

"You asshole." You hissed back, clearly showing your disdain for him. "You started it!" 

"I was bored." 

"See, that's why no one likes you Felix. You always hurt people!" 

He stared at you for a second and you grew worried. It was a mortifying glance, his hard cold eyes were glued on yours. You then instantly regretted saying this to him, knowing well he could kill you just by squeezing your throat. You gulped, awaiting for an aggressive reply but it didn't came. Surprisingly, he mumbled something else.

"That's the only way I know to speak to people." 

At that moment, you didn't see any old teenager but a little boy. You didn't know how to feel or how to act. It was a first one for you, he never showed this vulnerable side of him. As much as you wanted to mock him (because he clearly deserved for all the things he did to you and the boys), you didn't. Instead, you looked at him sadly, hoping to learn more. 

"I don't want you to pity me like you do with the other boys." 

"I never do that. You're free to speak or not. You may be an ass but I am sure there is something under this thick shell of yours." You said, offering the tall boy a smile.

He huffed and jerked his head to the side, ignoring you and your weak attempts to let him open to you. You heard him mumbling to himself, you were pretty sure it was something about you. You sighed and decided to close your eyes. All those troubles made you pretty sleepy and you slowly fell into a deep slumber.

You woke up with a start, feeling something next on you. You turned your head and realised it was Felix. You wondered why he was there. He was close enough for you to hear him breathing and you knew he wasn't sleeping. Then you realised that's the heavy thing on you was just his cloak and you were… a little surprised by that. Still it was a step in your direction so you decided to not say something about it. You raises your head and realised you were still both trapped in the hole. Why those boys are taking that long to get you both out of here?

"Go back to sleep." He told you.

"The boys aren't still there?" You asked softly, knowing already the answer.

"Apparently not or else you would be sleeping in your bed." 

It was weird and you hoped they will find you two quickly. You resisted the urge to cuddle next to Felix and turned to not face him. It would have been pretty embarrassing if you had started doing that. You knew some boys enjoyed it but not cold hard Felix. 

"Can I ask you a question?" 

"Hm. Yeah. Of course. But quick, I really want to sleep." You replied with a yawn.

"What… Ugh, I am so bad at this." He groaned. "I just wondered why you hated me so much." 

"I strongly dislike you." You corrected him. "Because you're always so mean, and hard with everyone. You are always after someone, beating them up physically or morally. I don't know why Pan favourites you. To be honest, you are a pretty shitty person. You're an ass." 

You heard him shift and you resisted again to turn and cuddle the poor boy. You hated doing that but somehow you felt good to reveal to him what was your opinion on him. 

"But… I can't blame you. I mean… You must have a pretty good reason to be like that. Pan did take you on Neverland, and I don't think it was because you were strong" You stopped talking, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. "I… I hear you sometimes when you're asleep."

"What do you mean?" 

"Once you were screaming. You don't probably remember it but it woke me up. It woke all of us. Pan made the boys swore to not tell what happened. Felix, for God's sake, you were sobbing and I didn't know what to do. You looked so unstable, you tried to kill me!" 

Felix stayed silent for a moment and you wishes to not have bring up that. 

"I was dreaming about my past." He whispered. "That's why I don't like sleeping."

You didn't know what to say next and you thought he was going to say more. He didn't tho and you had to admit you were a little disappointed by that. You didn't pressure him to speak more and decided to sleep again. 

The next morning, the cloak was ripped out of your body and you gasped. Your hair was a mess but it was not the matter right now. Felix was looking down at you, having that mean glaze in his eyes. You frowned not understanding what was going on. You heard all kind of voices and wondered what was happening.

"The boys are here." The second in command said simply, climbing up a rope.

You quickly followed behind and when you touched the ground above, the boys welcomed you back with a giant hug. You laughed at their antics but still was focused on Felix and his next moves: he regained his actual composure and urged everyone to go back to camp.

You hoped that what happened that last night will make him think of his behaviour with the others. He couldn't just keep everything to himself, but you knew he wouldn't start to share what was on his mind with the others and you. He had too much pride. 

That night, you didn't expect him to enter your tent. You were just about to go to sleep, starting to brush your hair, freeing it from any tangles. You were facing the entrance but immediately recognized him. You stood up from your seat and asking him what did he wanted. 

"I just…" He mumbled, not looking at you. "Thank you." 

"For what?" You asked, a little confused.

"I don't know, I just felt the need to tell you this." 

You smiled genuinely at him, approached and stood on your tiptoes. You kissed his cheek, near his scar and you instantly felt his skin heating up. You giggled as his face went red and he pulled his hood, trying to hide himself.

He was speechless, not able to form a single sentence. He was stuttering so much words at one it was hard to understand him. It was honestly cute. 

"I…" He started. "I have to go on my patrol." He quickly said.

"Have a good night Felix." You replied, staring at him. "Don't get yourself killed." 

He darted out of your tent and you swirled around before falling on your bed with a giggle. You didn't know why, but… something was changing in you. You smiled to yourself like an idiot before slipping under your covers and falling fast asleep. 

[thebountyfucker]

Interrogation

18+ ONLY -NSFW

Sugi/F!Reader Tags: Public masturbation, public nudity, voyeurism/exhibitionism, wet and messy, sex as an interrogation practice, tit sucking

Summary: You've done the Guild dirty. Now, you've gotta pay. (Part 1?)

Here's the link to my masterpost. Want to be tagged in fics like this? Here's my taglist application!

-

You never imagined being detained by a nearly-nude bounty hunter; well, to be fair, you never imagined being detained by anyone. And yet, here you were, cuffs on your wrists, being prodded along toward a ship. It wasn’t as if you didn’t deserve it, though; stealing from the Bounty Hunters’ Guild was generally looked down upon. And you were sure you’d be made to pay the price. But the absurdity of it all was what truly was sticking with you.

You had settled at a club after a long shift at work, looking to unwind by getting a few drinks and maybe bringing someone home with you. There was this one dancer at the club… she was gorgeous. She had the longest, shiniest blonde hair, which she pulled back into a ponytail; stray strands framed her pale face. Her eyes were kind, crinkling up at the corners when she smiled. And her tits…

You were usually more proper about the whole ‘tits’ thing, but you couldn’t help but stare when she started dancing. They were full and they looked so goddamn soft, and you could tell, through the thin cloth barriers holding them in place, that her nipples were pierced. Every time she moved, they bounced, and you wanted nothing more than to plant your face between them. Judging by the way she had looked at you, you figured you were bound to be lucky enough to fulfill your desires.

You drew towards the stage, waiting with baited breath for her entrance. You had a wad of ‘funny money’ in your hands, and you wanted to shower her in them. You wanted to stuff the bills between those breasts and along her g-string. And when the music swelled, your pussy pulsed and your heart skipped a beat.

She stepped out, the announcer introducing her as ‘Indigo’; she wore some tight little crop top and a skirt so short that when she bent over, you could see the thin gusset of her g-string. You bounced eagerly, waiting until she swayed toward the end of the stage to shower her in a hefty tip. She offered you a smirk and a wink as she dropped to her knees and slowly worked the crop top off, shifting upward and lowering back down with a moan. Her tits popped free as she hefted the shirt up over her head, and tossed it into the crowd; she rocked her hips, running her hands over her tits and pinching her nipples.

The rest of her dance was a blur. She took off her skirt, and you shoved more money than responsible into her g-string. She blew you a kiss. Your panties were completely soaked, and your slick was dripping down your thighs. She mentioned something to you, but you were so completely high with ecstasy that you couldn’t make it out. You nodded dumbly. She cupped your chin and drew a thumb over your lips. You nearly came then and there.

Then, she grabbed as much money as she could carry and left the stage. You eased back into a chair, in a daze, idly stroking your cunt through the fabric of your panties. You received a few sideways glances, but you ignored them. Besides, it wasn’t like you were the only one masturbating by the stage.

Movement caught your eyes, and you turned to spy this goddess approaching you. She wore only her g-string, her perfect tits bouncing with every step. She turned heads as she passed, before she drew close enough to touch you. She smelled like vanilla and whiskey. You stood, ignoring the sticky slick coating your thighs.

“Uh… hey!” That was smooth. You cursed internally.

“Hello there, beautiful. Seems like you’ve been trying to get my attention for a while now.” She cooed, her voice thick with Corellia. She leaned forward, her eyes half-lidded and her lips parted. “You’ve got it.”

“Are you… can I…?” You stumbled, trying to figure out the best way to ask her to bang you. She fluttered her eyelashes and leaned even closer.

“Would you like to join me in my quarters?”

“Yes! Yes, please!”

And this was where you went wrong. You had absolutely no idea that she was a hunter; she seemed so natural at this, and honestly, you just thought that you had gotten lucky. But as you followed her down a hallway that read ‘Staff Only’, there was this nagging feeling that something wasn’t right. Of course, you ignored it. The prospect of pussy was too good to pass up. It wasn’t until she brought you into a room and shoved you up against the wall that you started to understand. Then, the cuffs came out, and you watched in a nearby mirror as her appearance rippled from a blonde human woman to that of a purple-haired Zabrak. She fixed you with a steely glare, and for a moment, you were confused. Then it sank in.

“The Guild sent you?” You asked as she snapped the cuffs around your wrist.

“They did.” Her voice had lost it’s Corellian twang, now settling into the lilt typical of North Iridonia. She shoved you to the ground as she searched for something to cover up with… she fumbled with a pair of shorts - that she could hardly pull up over her ass - and a leather coat. She didn’t bother zipping the coat, exposing the crevice of her cleavage and the expanse of her stomach to the planet. Though she wasn’t who she said she was… she still made your cunt twinge. You always did have a thing for bounty hunters… “Come on now, up.”

You stood, and she pressed a hand to your back, leading you toward the backdoor and away from onlookers. You figured the bouncers wouldn’t be terribly thrilled with her arresting someone so openly. You also noticed that she seemed to have no gear on her… which meant that if she got into a fight, she would likely lose. You kept quiet, not wanting to risk angering her.

“You are the most cooperative captive I’ve taken.” She mused as she walked you through the back door. You glanced over your shoulder at her, taking in the tattoos which spanned her face; her nostrils flared and a pink blush rose on her cheeks. “But not the horniest.”

“That’s a surprise.” You managed, your cunt twinging to remind you that you were, indeed, still aroused. As if your slick coating your legs wasn’t a sufficient enough tell. The hand at your back grew more insistent, and you picked up your pace. “Are we in a hurry?”

She didn’t reply, her nose scrunching up. You decided it would be best to fall silent, again, wishing not to anger her. Soon enough, you had reached her ship, and she eased you up inside. She dumped you in the cargo bay, and vanished into another part of the ship.

“Em, I got her.”

You couldn’t hear the reply, but you figured it was something celebratory. You waited, watching as she slunk out and situated herself on top of a cargo crate. She watched you. You watched her. You noted, with a thick swallow, that one of her tits was peering out from the opening of the leather coat. You also noticed, though you tried not to stare too long, that the crotch of her shorts were wet. She noticed your glances with a smirk.

“You really like my body, hm?” You nodded, your cunt pulsing when she shouldered off her jacket; you whimpered softly as the swell of her breasts were revealed to you once more. You noted, with a deal of excitement, that her nipples were still pierced. You licked your lips and she cocked a brow. “Fascinating…”

The door to the cargo bay opened, and in walked a tall, lanky Kyuzan man. One that seemed awfully familiar… his gaze found you and his eyes went wide, but he didn’t say anything. You didn’t either, figuring that his partner would be less than thrilled to know that you two had a history together. His gaze lingered on you, before he turned to his half-naked partner; he hardly blinked.

“Should I ask what you are doing?”

“No… get the ship going. I’ll be up in a while.” She leaned back, idly drawing her hand over the crotch of her shorts. Embo cocked a browridge, but did as she said, leaving the two of you alone. She leaned forward, her tits dangling tantalizingly. “What you took from the Guild was priceless. Where is it?”

“Don’t know.” You replied, perhaps too quickly to be convincing.

“Is that so? That’s a shame.” She mused as she gripped her tit, brushing her thumb over her nipple. “If you tell me where it is… maybe I could help you with your problem.”

She gestured to the slick you were dripping onto the floor of her ship. Your face heated up and your pussy clenched, begging for relief. And yet, you still had your sensibilities. With your knowledge, you had a bargaining chip… you wouldn’t give it up so easily.

“Don’t know.” You repeated, and she shook her head.

“I see…” She slipped off the cargo crate and stood. “I’ll be back.”

She left the cargo bay, disappearing into the bowels of her ship.

“What is it that you are doing?” Embo asked from the other side of the door. You couldn’t hear her response. He let out a sigh. “Sugi, that hardly seems… ethical.”

“Since when have you thought that I was ethical?” She responded as she passed through the doorway. She carried a small crate in her hands, which she set down on top of the crate she had been sitting on. She opened it up, and pulled out a long, silicone cock. She eased off her shorts, and the g-string, and tossed them aside. She climbed back up onto the crate and spread her legs, revealing her slick pussy to you. You whimpered at the sight.

She drew the head of the dildo around her cunt, moaning softly. She met your gaze as she pressed the dildo slowly into her.

“Good girls get to get off.” She purred, and you watched as her cunt stretched around the toy. Your mouth went dry. “But you aren’t a good girl. So you don’t get to. You can watch.”

You craved that dildo. It looked like it fit so well into her… you knew it would relieve the aching in your own cunt. But you wouldn’t cave. You couldn’t. Not even when she let out that lascivious moan. Not even when her toes curled. Not when she grabbed a fistful of her breast and squeezed.

“Oh, it feels so good! OH!” She cried out. You figured she was exaggerating to try to get you to break. But maybe she wasn’t. Her face was flushed pink, her eyes half-lidded… you could see her own slick leaking out around the dildo. Fuck… “You just need to be a good girl and tell me. That’s all.”

You watched, unable to move, as she pumped the dildo in and out of her. The slick, unholy sounds made a home in your head. The way she leaned back to take it deeper… fuck. She was messing with your head. She was messing with your cunt and she wasn’t even touching it. There was a small puddle on the floor beneath you. Your panties were drenched. Your nipples were pebbled against your shirt.

She went faster, harder, releasing her grip on her tit to rummage around in her case. She produced a vibrator, which buzzed to life with the flick of a switch. She brought it to her clit, and let out a loud whine.

“It feels - it feels so good to be a good girl!” Her body tensed up as she rocked her hips against the dildo and the vibrator. You licked the drool from your lips, your mind clouding with arousal. You so desperately wished to free your hands from behind your back, to soothe your aching clit. You’d do anything… anything…

Sugi cried out, arching her back and pulling the dildo from her cunt as she orgasmed. She squirted her fluids onto the ground, and you were sold. You needed so badly to orgasm… you’d tell her what she wanted to know if she made you feel like that! She slowly twitched as she came to, before casting a glance down at you. She sunk to the floor, crawling toward you.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” She swiped a thumb over your lips, smearing her fluids as she went. You desperately licked your lips clean, tasting her release with a whimper.

“I’ll be good… please… please make me cum like that.” You begged, and she cast a glance down to your trembling cunt. She hooked her fingers around the waistband of your panties, and pulled them down to your knees. She paused, before meeting your gaze.

“Where is the list?”

“In-in my apartment! On Pantora!” You cried, rocking your hips in the air, trying to get some semblance of friction. She pulled your panties down a little further.

“Where, in your apartment?”

“Th-there’s a hidden compartment. In-in… in my bedroom. I can show you!”

“In due time.” She hummed as she pulled your panties off completely, and tossed them aside. She leaned in close, smearing your slick around on your thighs. “You were a very good girl. Would you like your reward?”

You nodded frantically as she stood and padded toward the crate of sex toys. She produced a double-ended dildo with a smirk. She approached, falling to her knees before you. She spread your legs and settled between them, drawing the dildo up and down the slit of your cunt. You wriggled your hips in response, so pleased with the touch but so desperately wanting more. The head of the dildo breached your cunt briefly, and for a moment, you could taste relief… but then Sugi pulled it away again. You whined as she cupped your chin. “You have been eyeing my tits for days. Would you like to suck on one?”

“Yes. Yes!” You opened your mouth and she moved closer; you wrapped your lips around her nipple, sucking and lapping at the hardened nub. The metallic taste of her piercing filled your mouth, but you didn’t mind. You were getting what you had desired for so long...

You moved to lick at her other nipple as she continued to run the dildo up and down the slit of your cunt. Then… she pressed it in. “OH!”

Your pussy clenched around the intrusion, and you fought against cumming then and there. Your toes curled up as you opened your legs even wider, giving her better access to your sloppy cunt. This was… this was everything you needed.

“Good girl.” She cooed as she leaned back, lining up the other head of the cock with her cunt, and eased it in. She moaned as she rocked her hips, driving it further into her until your pelvis touched hers. Any movement she made shifted the dildo within you, and you couldn’t help but whimper in response. You were so close…

She started thrusting, and you were done for. You let out a cry that was loud enough you were sure Embo could hear it as ecstasy coursed through your veins. Your head was high in the clouds. Your body shook, and then went limp. Sugi pulled the dildo from you, and tossed it aside, deciding to finish herself off with the dildo she had used earlier.

You leaned back against the bulkhead of the ship, watching her with stars in your eyes. She was incredible. That orgasm was incredible....

She came for the second time as Embo walked through the door. He cast a glance to her, and then to you, eyes wide.

“You two certainly made a mess…” There was a pause, his eyes brightening. “Why wasn’t I invited?”

[ashes-and-ashes]

So blame @jilylicious for getting me into Jegulus!! This is my first time writing this ship so I hope it’s okay ❤️❤️

~

The sun has nearly set by the time James makes it up to the roof. The sight of him is like a balm to Regulus’ frayed nerves, the faint stars arranged around his head like a halo. He kicks his feet idly, the ground hundreds of miles away and wondered what would happen if he fell.

The cigarette lies next to him, the tip a glowing red in the shadows. Regulus didn’t smoke but the acrid burn reminded him of Sirius, both warm and bitter as it poured down his throat. He flicks it aside as James joins him, the familiar heat of his body as he flung his arm around Regulus.

“Sorry,” he says, and God even his voice is comforting, like the first beams of sunlight on a cold day. Regulus finds himself sinking into it, bit by bit, the taste of honey on his lips, desperately trying to remember each precious moment they had together. “McGonagall kept us all behind after dinner. Wanted to talk about - “

“Your horrible idea for a prank?” Regulus says drily, and James throws back his head and laughs. “Really though. A live lion at the finals?”

James snorts. “Oh that’s rich. Don’t give me that bullshit. If there was any feasible way that Slytherin could bring a live snake to the Quidditch finals then you lot absolutely would. Horrible idea my ass.”

Regulus smiles. He watches the sun slowly dip into the lake, all streaks of rose gold and turquoise, the ripples of the lake capped in bronze. For a moment he thinks he could live like this; up on the roof with the wind in his face and James at his side, the taste of smoke and the memory of his brother.

It was too easy to forget, sometimes. A year, a gorgeous year wrapped up in bits of silk and ragged satin and all Regulus could do was burn. The war was coming closer now - everyone knew it. He was bound to it, like a sailor on a sinking ship watching the waves crashing down.

Regulus shivers and James looks down at him in concern. He wraps his arms tighter around Regulus’ shoulders; Regulus closes his eyes against the press of fingers into his skin.

“How’s my brother?” he asks. James’ face darkens.

“He’s okay,” he says tightly. “But you need to talk to him. He’s...he’s - “

“Killing himself?” Regulus asks quietly. The look on James’ face confirms it. Regulus knows his brother all too well, the self loathing and the hatred and the casual self-destructiveness. Sirius would be killing himself for leaving.

“Yes.” The words are clipped - it’s the closest Regulus has seen to James losing control. “Yes. He is killing himself. It’s been 5 months and he’s still broken.”

Regulus bites his lip, as if that brief stab of pain could compare to the pain Sirius felt. “It’ll take time. He never could let things go.”

“No,” James agrees. “If you would just talk to him - “

“I told you.” Regulus shakes his head, suddenly feeling very tired. “Not until he promises to never come back.”

“You know he‘ll never do that. He loves you too much.”

Regulus scoffs. “If the cost of my brother’s safety is to never speak to him again then it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

James swallows, hard. Regulus tracks the movement, the soft flexing of his throat, the small pinpricks of light high up in the sky, reflected against the lenses of James’ glasses and against the pupil of his eye.

“Besides,” he says, softly. “He has a new family now. You and Peter. And Remus. He loves Remus, doesn’t he? Who cares if I’m dying if he’s happy?”

“That’s why you’re stronger than me,” James says, so softly that Regulus can barely hear him. “I could never.”

Regulus allows himself a bitter smile, even as his heart clenches. “I saw you with Lily today.”

“Oh.” James says. Regulus doesn’t think he imagined the blush that spread across his face. “Yeah. Lils.”

He thinks his heart is breaking. Regulus looks down, suddenly grateful for the cover of darkness, the way it hid the cracks in his expression. James’ face pales, his hand shooting out to grab Regulus’.

“No,” he says, squeezing tight. “Reg. I wouldn’t - I would never cheat - “

“I know,” Regulus whispers. “Believe me, I know.”

The skin on his forearm throbs slightly, a brutal reminder of the Mark that would appear there one day. James ghosts over it with his fingertips, a familiar motion, something he’s done countless of times before.

“What’s wrong?” he breathes, and God it makes Regulus want to cry, the softness and gentleness in his expression. Never again, he thinks, and it hurts. I’ll never find someone like this again.

“James,” Regulus whispers and he cups James’ cheek, the paleness of his skin so vivid against the coffee tones of James’s face.

He wishes he could freeze it, this precious moment before the world came spinning down in broken shards and shattered glass, before the fire and the brimstone and the ash. Regulus takes a deep breath, holds it, the taste of smoke on his tongue, in his hair and against his skin.

“The year’s almost up,” he whispers.

James flinches back, his eyes widening. “Not yet,” he breathes. “We still have a week.”

Regulus smiles softly. He remembers that day - on the Hogwarts Express, pressed up against the wall, James’ lips against his neck. One year. Just give us one year.

God it felt like an eon ago. Regulus stares at the sky and wishes he could be back there, the feeling of the wall against his back, James’ hands in his hair, the odd sense of time stopping as he nodded. One year.

“James,” he says, and drops his hands. “Let go.”

“No,” James breathes, his voice cracking. “No. This can’t - we can’t just - “

Regulus takes a deep breath. “Jamie,” he says, and this time his voice breaks, breaks like he swore it wouldn’t, cracks in half until it sounds raw and painful like the beating of his heart. “Jamie we promised. We promised. It never could have lasted anyway - we’re just not meant to be. There’s a war - “

“Fuck the war,” James replies viciously, his voice sounding as raw as Regulus’. “Fuck the war and fuck the Mark and fuck your parents. Reg, please, I don’t - I don’t want to - “

“You think I want to either?” Regulus smiles through his tears. “You think - “ He cuts himself off, swallowing hard. “James, this isn’t - this wasn’t supposed to last forever. You’re deserve better. This wasn’t - it’s not real, Jamie. It’s a hallucination - a pipe dream. We weren’t meant to be forever.”

“And what if I want it to?” James asks fiercely. He lunges forward, gripping Regulus’ hand in his own and it’s one of the things he always loved about James, why he fell in love with him in the first place. “Reg, I love you. God, I love you. We could - I already told you. You could run. Like Sirius - my mother would take you in, I know she would.”

“I know,” Regulus says softly. “But you know I can’t.”

James stares up at him, the green in his eyes like bits of emerald, still so bright even as the shadows lengthened. “So that’s it then,” he says, his voice more bitter than Regulus has ever heard it. “That’s it. One year and we’re done. See you on the battlefield?”

Regulus flinches back and James goes pale. “Fuck. No, Reg, I didn’t mean it - “

“I know,” he breathes. “I know.” He coughs, the smoke suddenly filling his lungs, the grip of James’ hand against his own like an anchor against the tearing waves. “James. I...I had everything planned out. Since I was 12. Get Sirius out. Take the Mark. Fight until I was killed, or until someone caught me or...I don’t know. I never...planned past then.” He takes a shaking breath. “But then I met you. And God, it was like I was falling. I met you and I loved you and I still do. I still love you.”

“Then stay,” James hisses. “Stay. This isn’t your war - it never really was. Stay and run and don’t look back.”

“Do you think you could be happy?” Regulus asks, and James closes his eyes. “Because I think you can. I’ll leave and it’ll hurt and you’ll be broken but only for a little bit. She loves you, you know. Lily. And I think you love her too.”

“It’s not the same,” James breathes. “It’s not - it’s different - “

Regulus smiles. “I know. God, I know. But you’ll find someone else. Someone better.”

James shakes his head, his eyes full of tears. “Reg, don’t do this. You don’t have to - “

“You know I do,” Regulus says softly, and then he’s kissing James, like that first time so long ago, underneath the stars like he’s always wanted. It’s something he’s always taken for granted; the heat of James’ body, the mess of curls under his fingertips and the gentleness, so soft compared to the pain he was used to back at home.

But where all of there kisses before had been a hello this kiss felt like a goodbye. They could both taste it, bitter on their lips and Regulus blinks away the tears and tastes salt.

He finally breaks away. They’re both crying, the tears on James’ face like streaks of starlight and Regulus wonders why someone never looked as beautiful as they did when they were leaving.

“Be happy James,” he says softly, even as his heart broke. “For both of us.”

“Regulus,” James says, but Regulus has already turned away.

He doesn’t let himself look back.