#it’s taken me longer to write this damn battle than it took for my boyfriend to propose to me when I was a teenager

[miss-celestia13]

“This is the final hour, the silence hovers where dark and light devour”

[raewritesfiction]

Part 3 - Look At The Flowers

Warnings: Fluff. Smut - hand jobs, oral, ass play. Saliva. 

Word Count: 1,764

[[ Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from tags; no questions asked ♥️ likes are amazing however I really appreciate Reblogs to help spread my writing further! Thank you 🌈😘]]

Tag List: @jaseminedenisephotography @nikkitasevoli @iraniq @snewsome756 @vikki-rogue @amelia-in-w0nderland @pandaliciouz @crispyimagines17 @marie-is-blogging @bonniebird @nutinanutshell @louise-buchan @differentcatcat @madsadgenius @phoenix-is-closer-to-the-edge @azanoni @livingdeadblondequeen

The last few months had been rough for everyone; the hoard was successfully redirected but they had lost members of the community in doing so.  A larger community of survivors had been keeping close tabs on the Hilltop and attacks had become frequent until it had all come to a head and what could only be described as a battle of life and death had broken out.  It had taken weeks to repair all the damage, burn the dead and get back a feeling of safety again.  

The pantry store was once again full, everyone had worked overtime to replenish stolen or damaged supplies, injuries were healed and with the hot summer weather everything was again calm at the Hilltop. 

Daryl and Jesus had been trying to plan a small picnic for at least a week and finally everything had fallen into place for it to happen.

Daryl had worked hard on repairing his bike; it had taken longer than he had wanted but with everything else that had been happening, finding parts had become next to impossible. Jesus had been trading with other local communities to secure the final wires and pipes that Daryl had needed.  

“You ready to take a ride?” Daryl smiles to Jesus. 

“I’m ready. Are you?”

Daryl nods and smiles widely at the bike; his pride and joy only second to his boyfriend. 

“If it came to saving me or the bike…. Which would you choose?” Jesus laughs. 

“Ooh… oh that, that is a tough choice but… I guess I’d have to choose… hmm…. Yeah I’d choose you.” Daryl laughs with him and wraps an arm around Jesus�� waist, pulling him close and kissing his cheek. 

The pair set off out the gates and Daryl can’t help but smile at the sound of his bike; smoother and quieter since being fixed, it wouldn’t draw any extra attention.  Jesus gave directions from his position riding pillion and Daryl happily took them until they reached a large open meadow with a waterfall and clear river running through it. 

The bike rumbled to a stop and went silent as Daryl shut it off “how did you know about this place?”

“Found it on some extended recon a couple of weeks ago and made sure to find it on our maps.” Jesus grins and lifts off the picnic basket he had packed. “Thought we could do with some nature..”

Daryl climbs off and walks with Jesus to the side of the river where they set out a blanket to lay on. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen water so clear.”

“No pollution, nature is looking after itself again… I think there’s a cut out behind the waterfall too… wanna go for a swim before we eat?”

He didn’t need asking twice; Daryl stripped off his clothes and left them in a pile on the blanket as Jesus did the same, both heading to the water and shivering as they dipped their feet in. 

“Oh shit that’s cold!” Daryl grumbled “colder than the showers at Hilltop!” 

“Suck it up…. We’ll warm up later.” Jesus took a breath and slowly wades into the water, making high pitched noises as he submerges himself fully. “Ffffuuuuck! Water is great!” 

Daryl laughs and leans on a large boulder on the side “great huh?” 

Jesus narrows his eyes and quietly swims over, grabbing Daryl’s wrists and pulling him in before he could do anything to stop it from happening.  

He yelps as the cold water covers him and comes up gasping “god damn that’s fresh!”

“Told you the water was great!” Jesus laughs and splashes Daryl before heading for the waterfall and checking to make sure he was following.  

The water was indeed refreshing and the longer they spent splashing around and play-fighting the quicker their bodies became accustomed to the temperature; the sun helped as it shone directly over them at midday and had warmed the water. 

As stomachs rumbled the men decided that food was probably a good idea and they made their way to the bank to climb out and dry off in the sun as they ate.  Jesus ended up laying with his head on Daryl’s thighs while he was leant against the large boulder at the shoreline.   Daryl smiles to himself and picks at the surrounding wild flowers, carefully threading them into Jesus’ full beard until there wasn’t room for any more. 

He sits back happily and waits for Jesus to open his eyes. 

“Daryl. My love. Light of my life. What have you done to me?” Jesus keeps his eyes closed. 

“Nothin’..” he shakes his head but Jesus could hear the smirk on Daryl’s lips. 

“Uh huh… so why can I smell flowers so close to me?”

“No idea..” he shakes his head again. 

Jesus sighs and reaches his hand up to his beard, feeling the flowers laced through. “Do I look like a flower nymph to you?”

“You do now, yeah!” Daryl laughs. A proper happy laugh; something he hasn’t fully felt for longer than he can remember.  Since before the world went to shit.  

Jesus grumbles and pulls out some of the flowers, looking up at Daryl and realising there was nowhere to stick them and then turning his head with a chuckle and threading the stalks into Daryl’s pubic hair; just above his cock.

“Cheeky!” He gasps and chases after Jesus when he hops up and runs off.  He gets close to catching the flower nymph a few times but at the last moment Jesus would change directions. They both laughed a lot and ran into the river again, the flowers floating free easily and disappearing down the currents. 

Daryl pushes Jesus through the falls and presses him up against the rock formation behind it.  There was a cut out from the water but it needed a little climbing to get up into it.  For now they stayed embraced against the wall, lips working over bare skin, teeth leaving light marks in places only they would know about.  Arms were entwined around each other while their tongues danced with each other and their cocks hardened. 

Jesus runs his hands down his boyfriend’s back, gentle and light over the scars then digging his nails into Daryl’s ass cheeks when he squeezes them; the actions pull a moan from deep in Daryl’s chest that only Jesus could hear over the noise of the waterfall.  

They shuffle their legs until both have a thigh between the other to rut against; something they’d only recently started doing.  Hips rocked against the other until both their cocks were fully hard; Daryl hissed as he skinned his knee but kept his hips moving against Jesus. 

“Fuck you’re hot..” he moans and kisses over Daryl’s neck, careful not to leave any visible marks, his own hips moving to Daryl’s thick thigh.  They both grind against each other until Jesus pulls away and climbs, carefully, up to the cut out followed by Daryl. 

They scrabble to wrap arms around each other again; Jesus straddles Daryl and pins him, reaching down and wrapping a hand around his cock as Daryl does the same to Jesus.  Their hands twist and jerk each other in time, their hips rutting against the other and drawing out low moans that echo around the small cave. 

“Fuck, Paul…!” Daryl arches and ruts his hips to try and gain more friction. 

“So good!” He pants and leans down to kiss Daryl and moans into his mouth.

Daryl pants and flips them over moving to suck Jesus,

“Swing around…” Jesus grins and winks. 

Daryl nods and moves to position his cock to Jesus’ mouth, leaning down to suck his at the same time.  They both moan and move their heads in opposition to the other, hands trailing over thighs and asses.

Jesus runs his fingers lightly over Daryl’s hole, listening for any protests; when he gets none he does it again with a little more pressure.  Daryl pants around Jesus and mimics his movements over Jesus’ hole.  They both hum and rock their hips, Jesus decides to try a little further and pulls away only long enough to spit on his fingers, taking Daryl whole again and sucking in pulses. 

They both writhe against each other and when Jesus feels Daryl relax further he pushes a finger into him.  Daryl tenses for a second then groans loudly around his boyfriend. Taking this as his sign to continue, Jesus thrusts his finger slowly and adds a second.  

Daryl pulls away to breathe and spits on his fingers, carefully teasing Jesus and pushing his finger inside him while sucking along his cock again. 

Jesus runs his hand over Daryl’s thigh and scratches lightly, easing him on and reassuring him he was doing good.  Crooking his fingers Jesus thrusts slowly and moans as Daryl mimics his motions; adding a second finger and thrusting in time with Jesus. 

The cave filled with their moans and groans of passion, the smell of sex was trapped with them as they continued towards their respective releases.  

Jesus’s hips rut and buck uncontrollably as Daryl sucks harder and faster around him. 

They both speed up and thrust their fingers faster inside one another; mouths busy working each other’s cocks until for Daryl, the sensations are too much and he pulls away long enough to call out with his orgasm.  Jesus swallows around him and gasps when Daryl wraps his mouth back around his cock and sucks hard for a few more seconds until he feels Jesus down his throat when he groans roughly. 

Their fingers slow to a stop and they carefully untangle themselves, laying in the cave breathing heavily while they relax in their post-coital bliss. 

The light has changed and Jesus sighs “we should get back… I think it’s getting late.”

Daryl nods “let’s uuh… get cleaned up first… and we should definitely do this again.”

“Yeah? …all of it?” Jesus asks with trepidation.

“All of it.” Daryl nods with a smile. “That… that was a lot of fun.  Felt real good.”

They both make their way back down into the water and get cleaned up, packing away the picnic remnants and waiting to dry off before putting clothes back on.

“Stay with me forever Paul…” Daryl looks into his eyes. 

“Is that a proposal?” He smiles. 

“Uuh… I… I guess it is, yeah.” He half laughs and blushes with a smile. 

“Yes. I’ll stay with you forever, Daryl.” 

Climbing back onto the bike, Daryl pulls off and instead of it just being a figure of speech, they ride towards the sunset. 

[darthkruge]

Could you do an imagine where Anakin comforts an insecure reader

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Insecurities 

Summary: Anakin comes home to find the reader drowning in their own insecurities and does everything he can to make it better.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Heavy talk of insecurities, including the reader feeling insecure about their body, personality, relationship, basically themself in general. A little bit of blood and some injuries but nothing major. Angst to fluff, I’d say?

A/N: Hi anon! First off, I hope you’re okay. Secondly, thank you for requesting! And ofc I’ll write this, comfort fics are my shit! I tried to get this request out as quick as I could and it did take a tiny bit longer than I wanted, but I wanted to do it justice. Also, y’all are beautiful and perfect and I love each and every single person reading this. If anyone ever needs anything, I’m here always. If you wanna talk or vent or just share some of your thoughts, I got you. 

(not my gif)

It was just one of those days. You weren’t a stranger to them but, nonetheless, you always felt unprepared when they hit. The feeling where you wanted to crawl out of your own skin, your own mind. Where regardless of what clothes you wore, you hated how you looked. The thoughts were the worst part, telling you lies that felt terrifyingly like truths. 

You’re worthless. You’re unlovable. You’re ugly. Everyone else can see it. They all know. No one really wants to spend time with you. You’re annoying. You’re stupid. You’re a bad person. 

The thoughts spiraled and spiraled and spiraled until you were lost in your own head. When it came to this, you frequently fell. It was too painful to hold onto your consciousness and fight it, so you let go. The thoughts continued as you curled back up in your bed, in the apartment in Coruscant that you shared with him, the one that normally brought you such comfort, and stared blankly at the wall. Tears streamed down your face and you didn’t even have the energy to wipe them away. 

Truly, the worst part was feeling so defeated. You were a strong Jedi and you took your training seriously. You’d fought in countless battles, you should be able to handle one in your mind. You wished you were strong enough to fight against these thoughts. The shame you felt around your insecurities only made you feel more alone. Instead of reaching out on days like this, you just forced yourself into silence. 

You were especially afraid to tell Anakin. Your beautiful, perfect, kind, loving boyfriend. He didn’t deserve to deal with you. He had enough on his plate, it wasn’t his job to comfort you because you weren’t strong enough to deal with your own shit. You were scared that once he saw how you viewed yourself, he would come clean and admit to seeing you the same way. I mean, you were so obviously hideous, how could he not see it, too?

Meanwhile, Anakin was finishing up a training session in the Jedi Temple. Normally he’d train with Obi-Wan, but today he wanted to focus on himself. Honestly, he was a bit distracted. Since he had a busy day today and you had the day off, he had to leave before you woke up, which he absolutely hated. He loved being there when you woke up and cooking breakfast for the two of you. You’d been dating for a few months and he was truly shocked that you’d kept him around for this long. You were everything he’d ever wanted. 

He realized he was smiling as he thought of you and decided to reach out with the Force to be reminded of your presence. He knew it wasn’t what the Force was supposed to be used for but he honestly couldn’t help it, he missed you. You were a comfort to him and he liked to check and make sure you were alright. 

Anakin’s brow furrowed as he searched for you. Normally, you were meditating at this time and he could feel a sense of serenity and contentment around you. Today, however, he was met with pain. Pain, and fear, and hatred, and sadness, and anguish, and loneliness. Anakin braced himself against the wall, stumbling back at the severity of your emotions. Right after, he composed himself and took off in a run, trying to get to you as quickly as possible. 

“Y/N? Y/N?!” Anakin yelled, bursting through the door. He was immediately taken aback when he noticed that all the lights were off. Walking quietly, he heard your sobs coming from the bedroom. He went in and felt his heart shatter. There you were, his angel, curled under the blankets, sobbing. He looked around and noticed the mirror in your room smashed. He walked over and gently placed a hand on your back, trying not to startle or upset you more. 

You looked up at him and started crying even harder. He pulled you into his arms and noticed how you fell limply into his chest. The fight seemed to have extinguished from your eyes, causing him to hold you even closer. Your arms weakly surrounded his middle as his hands stroked your back and gently combed through your hair. 

You felt lost and trapped, the world around you fuzzy and distorted from the tears. Even so, you felt him. You breathed him in, inhaling his comforting scent and feeling his warmth. He helped you ground yourself, the broken wails eventually quieting into soft cries. Anakin didn’t try to shush you, he just whispered reassurances into your hair, let you get it out, and held you. “I’ve got you, love. It’s alright, get it out. I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

You listened to those affirmations as you sagged into him, taking a few more minutes to just lay there. Softly, Anakin pulled you away from him so he could study you. You saw his face contorted with worry and immediately felt guilty. Great, Y/N, now you’ve made him upset. Fuck, he doesn’t deserve this. Why did I have to be so fucking needy?!

Your thoughts were interrupted by him. “What happened, angel?”

“I-” You trailed off, not sure what to say. “I just had a shit day”

You could tell he knew it was more and, feeling vulnerable under his intensely caring gaze, brought your hand to move the hair out of your face.

Quickly, you heard Anakin take a sharp inhale of breath before grabbing your hand. Ouch. You looked down and noticed the cut on the back of your hand. It had mostly dried by now, thankfully, but the pain from punching that mirror earlier was definitely still registering. 

He wordlessly went to the bathroom and brought out some gauze and anti-bacterial medicine. When he returned, his eyes drifted to the mirror and you saw him putting the pieces together. He spent a few moments in silence, his expression downcast. He worked quickly, bandaging you up and collecting his thoughts. “Why?” He asked, softly.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t stand to look at myself anymore” You whispered, wiping away some residual tears from your eyes. 

“Y/N, you’re gorgeous, love. Please, angel, please look at me.” He cupped your face and moved you so you were in his lap, making sure you heard every word. “You are truly the most breathtaking person I’ve ever met. You’re ethereal.”

Anakin’s voice was quiet as he told you these things. Quiet, yet powerful. Almost as if it was the gentle caress of his innermost thoughts. Completely honest and raw, yet too intimate for anyone to hear except you.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry your brain is lying to you. That must be so hard, fighting against your own mind. Baby, you’re brave. You’re so, so brave.”

You were shaking your head, “Ani, no, no I’m not. I’m not brave, I didn’t fight. I let them consume me. I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe until you came in. I couldn’t anchor myself at all, I was so weak” You said, disgusted with yourself. 

“Shh, shh, Y/N, listen. You are strong because even though you felt the weight of everything on your shoulders, you didn’t drown. I know you felt like you would, but look! You’re here. You didn’t drown.” He took a second to pause, kissing your forehead lovingly. “Do you want to talk about what brought this on?”

“If I tell you, promise you won’t think differently of me?”

“I promise. Nothing could change how I feel about you.”

You inhaled deeply, hands shaking slightly. Ani took them in his own, steadying them while looking at you deeply. “I’ve been dealing with some shit for a while and I think it all kind of caught up to me today? I hate how I look, Ani. I look in the mirror and I can’t handle it. That’s why I broke it, I just, I couldn’t. And then I was just thinking of how you don’t deserve to deal with someone like me. You shouldn’t have to come home after a day of training and deal with my breakdowns. I know I should have told you I’ve been feeling like this. I just was terrified. I was terrified you’d agree with me. I’m terrified you’ll leave me. I’m terrified you’ll wake up and see how you deserve so much more than the shitty fucking messed up person I am.” You trail off and meet his eyes, tears glistening in both of yours, “Ani, I’m so terrified” You finish, voice wavering. 

Anakin rests his forehead against yours, pressing kisses to your hands. He lets his eyes close and tears fall down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe you were in this much pain and he never noticed. You were the love of his life and he felt like he’d failed you if you feel like this. 

“Y/N, I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not going anywhere. You are the best person for me, hell, you’re the best person in the entire fucking galaxy. Everyday I wake up and think about how lucky I am to call you mine. You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re compassionate. You’re stubborn as hell and I love that about you. You challenge me and you’re a damn good Jedi. You’re strong, stronger than anyone should ever have to be. Your heart inspires me everyday. Simply, you’re good. And I know I said it a bit earlier, but I’m gonna say it again. You are stunning, love. Truly.” Anakin said, pulling away so he could really see you. 

“Look at your legs! They’re so pretty, baby. Especially when you jump up and wrap them around me after I get home from a mission? That’s the best feeling in the freaking world! And your stomach! You always let me rest my head on it when I’m tired and I know you think it’s weird but it’s such a good angle because I can lay there and play with your hands. And, baby, your arms!! You give such good hugs and you when wrap them around me?? It makes me feel safe in a world full of chaos. And at night when you use them to curl into me, or when we’re dancing together? Fuck, I just love them.”

Anakin trailed off for a second. He held your face in his palms and you leaned into their warmth. “And you’re face, Y/N. It’s just so perfectly you. When I look into your eyes, I know I’m home. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t understand how you can hate your body when it's the body that makes me feel like I’m going to be okay. You make me feel like I’m going to be okay. I’ve always felt so out of control, so lost. But you ground me. Please, come to me if you ever feel like this again? You are not a burden or a messed up person. You’re everything. I’m here for you. I know my words won’t fix anything overnight. Even so, I promise you, I will repeat them everyday until you believe them and, after that, I will continue to remind you until my last breath.”

You hugged him and nuzzled into his chest, overcome with emotion. “I’m trying Ani, I’m really trying. It’s not easy for me to come to people when I feel like that but I promise I’ll try.”

His arms tightened around you and he placed a kiss on the top of your head. “That’s all I could ever ask of you, love. Thank you for being willing to try”

“Thank you, too, for talking me down today. It doesn’t normally get that bad. Some days are worse than others, you know? But you really helped me. I love you more than anything. I love you for loving me when I feel unlovable” 

“I will always be here to remind you how deserving you are of love, happiness, and every other positive thing in the universe. I love you, too. I’ve loved you for years, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever”

Anakin hadn’t really let you go since he returned to the apartment. He was naturally a protective person and hated to see you hurting. He was so soft, so comforting. Although vulnerability is always hard, he made it so much easier. You knew he would always validate you, comfort you, and be there without judgement. He was everything you could possibly need and more.

Eventually, your breathing evened out as he rocked you in his arms. Anakin layed you back under the covers and went to pull away to sweep up the broken mirror’s glass. As he attempted to release himself from your arms, you whined and only tightened your grip on him. Anakin smiled and chuckled quietly, laying down and pulling you on top of his chest. You hummed contently and he placed a few more soft kisses onto your hair, your forehead, your shoulders, everywhere. You were his top priority always and he wanted to keep you safe physically, mentally, and emotionally. He could never deny you comfort, especially not in this state. After waiting a few more moments to ensure you were truly at rest, Ani closed his eyes. The glass could always wait until tomorrow...

[xxdragonwriterxx]

hi! i'm so sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well, i also suffer from migraines and they're the worst. i was hoping to request levi and his s/o (who only recently started dating) and they're playing around, like play fighting/wrestling, and his s/o finds that he's extremely ticklish and a little embarrassed by it bc he had no idea?🥺 (but of course that's how s/o wins the fight hehe) thank you for taking the time to even just read this!

A/N: Hi anon! Thank you for the kind words, I’m feeling better now! Thankfully, my migraines don’t happen very often, but when they do, they are really bad. But I haven’t had one for a little while so that’s good! I’m sorry you suffer from them too, they really are the worst 🙄. Thank you for requesting! This was a really sweet, fluffy request and I really enjoyed writing it. Embarrassed Levi is cutest Levi. I hope this was what you were looking for! Enjoy! ❤️❤️

🐉 Song Recommendation: “A Closeness” By: Dermot Kennedy 🐉

Word Count: ~2.9k

~~~

🔥Unexpected Sensitivity🔥

“Asshole.”

(Y/N) barely managed to refrain from rolling her eyes as she tried to ignore the raven-haired man sitting on the opposite end of the couch and turned back to her book. She was able to get through another two sentences before a loud huff and a low grumble of annoyance once again drew her away from the story.

(Y/N) threw him a glare, “Levi, I told you, I am four fucking chapters away from finishing this book, can you please just entertain yourself until then? It won’t be much longer.” 

She gritted her teeth when Levi made no attempt to keep from rolling his eyes, sending a scowl right back at her, “I’m bored.”

“Well that’s too bad. Last time I checked, I was not your babysitter.”

Normally, (Y/N) enjoyed when Levi was needy for her attention. She loved how she was the only one who got to see that side of him. Their relationship was relatively new, so she had had to work hard to get him to open up around her. She was proud that she had finally managed to get him to relax around her, of how far he’d come, and it made her heart melt when he craved her affection, like a cat begging to be petted.

But recently, Levi had been begging for her attention a lot. She had no idea what had made these past few days so different, but it was starting to wear her out. Now, whenever he wasn’t working, he wanted to be at the center of her attention, no matter if she was already busy, and it was starting to grate on her nerves a little. 

Was it really too much to ask to let her finish her book? She was known to be a very quick reader, it shouldn’t have taken long, but she had barely made a dent in the last few chapters because she was constantly being distracted.

Levi frowned at her and crossed his arms. He really was acting like a petulant child, and while it was annoying as hell, a part of (Y/N) couldn’t deny that she found it a little cute. Especially since she knew his behavior was coming from a place of love. She hadn’t forgotten how lucky she was to even have him acting like this with her, but that didn’t mean she had to enjoy it every time. Especially when he was being this intense about it.

“Asshole.”

“Levi, for the love of god!” (Y/N) snapped, slamming her book shut and tossing it to the side. “How hard is it for you to just let me read four bloody chapters? I told you I would give you attention as soon as I was done! I just wanted to know the ending, you know this is a book I’ve been looking forward to finishing for days.”

Levi raised an eyebrow at her, “Is some boring old book more interesting to you than me?”

Oh my god. She was going to kill him.

(Y/N) took a deep breath and forced herself to stay calm, “Of course not, Levi. But that doesn’t mean I have to be with you every second of every day. I just wanted to know what happened in the end, that’s all. Why is that such a big deal?”

“Because I want you to cuddle me, damn it,” he mumbled, his eyes averted from her face and a light tinge of pink on his cheeks.

(Y/N) immediately felt her anger wash away. She could still feel a little bit of irritation prickling in her chest but she ignored it, choosing to focus more on the warm feeling that blossomed throughout her whole body at his words. Yes, her boyfriend could be annoying as hell sometimes, but she couldn’t deny how adorable he was, wanting affection but embarrassed by the fact. She didn’t show it, but she was proud of him for even gaining the courage to say something. While they had only been dating for two months, she had never heard him directly ask for anything, it was always buried beneath a mask of sarcasm or annoyance.

Levi watched her features soften and felt the corners of his lips curl upwards as she sighed, knowing he had finally won. He knew that when she sighed like that, she was going to give in. His heart warmed at the thought that she found him difficult to resist, even when she was clearly annoyed with him.

He knew he was being shitty, but he just couldn’t help it. Not with her anyway. She was not his first girlfriend by any means, but she was the first girl he felt he had a genuine connection with. The first girl he genuinely loved. His past girlfriends had been nothing but trials, mostly set up by his friends, trying to show him that dating could be fun. He hadn’t believed them until he met (Y/N).

Now, he couldn’t get enough. He knew it was partially unfair to her, even if he knew she  secretly loved it. He knew he was being invasive and annoying but at the moment, he just didn’t care. He was aching to feel her pressed against him, her arms wrapped lovingly around his waist and her head on his shoulder. His arms itched to pull her close and relish in the way she fit perfectly against him, as if they had been made for each other. He had never felt this way with anyone else, but now that he had, he craved it. He had never realized just how touch-starved he was until (Y/N) entered his life, and now he burned to be by her side, even if she didn’t always want him there.

“Alright, fine. But you have to promise to let me finish my book later, okay?”

(Y/N)’s words snapped him out of his thoughts and he nodded too quickly for it to be as nonchalant as he wanted it to look. (Y/N) rolled her eyes affectionately and gave him a warm smile that had his heart beating a swift tattoo against his chest.

Levi moved his legs from where they had been laying lengthwise on the sofa cushions as (Y/N) approached, turning his body so he was seated normally, giving her the room to settle down beside him. He immediately felt himself relax as soon as she curled up against him, a satisfied sigh leaving his parted lips.

“Relieved are you?” (Y/N) teased.

Levi thought about teasing her back, but suddenly found himself too sleepy to engage in their usual banter, her comforting presence making him feel drowsy. “Yes.”

(Y/N)’s cheeks heated, not expecting the straightforward answer, “I’m still mad at you for being so obnoxious.”

“Mm.”

“And you’re not sorry for it at all, are you?”

“Mm, no.”

“Pain in the ass,” (Y/N) mumbled affectionately, nuzzling her face into his chest.

(Y/N) was just about to drift off, enjoying the comfort of cuddling with her boyfriend despite her earlier reluctance, when a sudden sharp jab in her side made her jolt up with a yelp.

“Ow! What the hell, Levi!?”

“You called me a pain in the ass,” Levi grumped.

“Yeah, so? You called me an asshole. Twice!” (Y/N) said, leaning over to give him a hard poke in the shoulder.

“Tch,” Levi said, giving her another poke, this time on her thigh.

(Y/N)’s retaliation quickly led to a fierce battle between the two, annoyed huffs devolving into genuine chuckles and shrieks of joy as the two fought, the war only growing more intense when (Y/N) straddled Levi’s thighs to better reach him.

“Brat, stop poking me!”

“You stop poking me, then!”

“Fine,” Levi said, the mischievous look on his face making (Y/N) nervous.

Before she could react, Levi pushed her off of him and pinned her to the couch, hovering over her. (Y/N) laughed, her eyes sparkling, “Oh, how romantic, Levi.”

Levi snorted at her as he moved lower, slinking down her body, his own eyes twinkling with barely suppressed mirth.

“Levi? What are you doing?”

“You told me to stop poking you, so I stopped. But that doesn’t mean this is over.”

“What the fuck does that mean- AH!” (Y/N) cried out in surprise as Levi’s fingers ran up the bottoms of her feet. “LEVI!”

Levi merely chuckled in response, reaching down to tickle her feet again. He smirked when she writhed and squirmed beneath his strong grip, tears of desperation spilling from the corners of her eyes as her loud laughter filled the apartment.

“Levi! Levi, stop! I can’t- I can’t breathe!”

Levi thought about letting up, but he was having too much fun. He quickly doubled down on his efforts, laughing quietly at the loud squeal she let out in response, trying to jerk her feet from his touch.

(Y/N) was getting desperate. He had her pinned by the hips to the couch with his incredible strength and he wasn’t stopping his assault on her poor feet. She tried to wrench them  from his grip to no avail, his cocky smile and bright silver hues making her want to slap that look of smugness off of his face. 

Frantically looking for a way to escape, (Y/N) suddenly remembered that her hands weren’t being held down. She had her own fingers she could use. She knew it would be no use trying to pry his fingers off, he was much too strong for that, so she did the next best thing.

She blindly latched onto him, her fingers flying over his skin as she searched for a weak point, a tender spot, anything. Levi was finally starting to slow down his attack, his fingers only lightly brushing her skin to watch her jump while she caught her breath, but she was determined to get back at him.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing?” Levi asked, finally taking his fingers away from her sensitive skin and leaning back on his haunches. His eyebrow rose when she followed him, her hands still moving all over his body.

“What do you think I’m doing, idiot?”

Levi smirked down at the woman that was now back in his lap, her brow furrowed in concentration as she poked and prodded beneath his shirt, practically feeling him up as she tried to find where he was the most sensitive.

“Nice try, brat. But unfortunately for you, I’m not tickLISH-!”

(Y/N) and Levi both froze.

Levi’s jaw dropped, his eyes wide and his hands loosened from where they had been holding onto (Y/N)’s waist. He had never, in his entire life, made a noise like that before. It sounded like the cross between a yelp of surprise and a barked out laugh. He was still uncertain if it had indeed been him that had made the noise, it sounded so unlike him, so foreign to his ears he couldn’t be sure.

(Y/N) was just as shocked. Had Levi really just squawked? That was probably the only way you could describe the noise that had just come from her boyfriend’s mouth, even though it seemed like the kind of word you would never in a million years associate with Levi Ackerman.

While she was certainly surprised, she recuperated faster than Levi, a deviant smile spreading across her face as she suddenly realized the power she held. She noticed Levi’s eyes narrow on her borderline evil expression, but his dazed state made his reaction time slower than normal. Before he knew it, he was on his back, her legs straddled over his hips, his wrists held in one of her hands while the other was snaking back beneath his shirt, aiming for the spot along his upper ribs.

He tried to squirm away, but he underestimated her strength as she pressed her full weight into him and tightened her grip on his wrists, holding him there as she brushed her fingers along the spot that he hadn’t even known would make him go crazy.

To his horror, another loud cry was ripped from his throat, quickly turning into loud, rich laughter that rang out and bounced off the walls as she tickled him. He tried to flash her a warning glare but she only smiled wider, followed by a slight shake of her head.

Fuck, she was going to show no mercy.

Tears gathered in his eyes as she continued to attack the sensitive flesh in the same way he did to her, his body losing all control. He wriggled and arched, trying to escape her torturous fingers, until he was finally able to free one of his hands. (Y/N) tried to hold on, but as soon as one of his hands was free, she was quickly shoved off of him, her own laughter joining his as she was pushed from the couch to land with a satisfying thump on the carpet below.

Levi’s laughter was quick to quiet into soft chuckles before finally fading into heavy breathing, the apartment thick with silence as the pair fought to catch their breath, unwilling to move for a while.

“Whew,” (Y/N) said, eventually breaking the silence. “Who knew the fearsome Levi Ackerman was ticklish, huh?”

(Y/N) was smiling, a hand coming up to cover her mouth to stifle the giggles that tried to filter into the room at her teasing, but when he didn’t respond, (Y/N) grew worried.

“Levi?”

(Y/N) sat up, and quickly lost all feelings of giddiness at the sight of Levi, turned away from her with his knees brought up to his chest, his hands covering his face, and his back hunched slightly, so different from how he normally was it almost made her panic.

“Levi! Are you alright?”

It took him a moment, but Levi eventually nodded once, refusing to remove his hands from his face. His response calmed (Y/N) down somewhat, but concern still coursed through her as she gently eased onto the couch beside him, her palm reaching out to rest on his back.

“Levi, what’s wrong?”

A quiet mumble reached her ears, but his hands were muffling most of the words. Even when she strained her ears she couldn’t understand what he was saying, but she did notice his face get a tinge more pink, especially on the tips of his ears.

“I’m sorry, babe, I couldn’t hear you. Can you repeat that?”

Levi huffed in annoyance, and it was enough to bring another small smile back onto (Y/N)’s face. He then shifted his hands, uncovering only enough to free his mouth.

“I said, I’m… embarrassed…” He trailed off at the end, the last word much quieter than the others, but (Y/N) heard him loud and clear. She immediately felt a wave of relief and guilt wash over her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Levi. I really didn’t mean to embarrass you like that, I thought we were just having fun. I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me, ever. I’m sorry, I never should’ve pushed your boundaries like that.”

Levi finally removed his hands from his face and turned around to look at her. His face was still red and his eyes were slightly swollen from the tears he had shed during their intense battle but his expression was soft. He reached up and brushed his fingers along her jaw, affectionately stroking her skin.

“It’s not your fault. I attacked you first,” Levi said. “I didn’t even mind it that much at first, I just didn’t expect to react… like that.”

“Levi, it’s okay! Everyone reacts like that, that’s why nobody likes to be tickled. I mean, you heard me! I didn’t sound any better.”

Levi smirked, the beginnings of a sparkle coming back into his eye, “Yeah, you sounded like a donkey with a sore throat. Or maybe a dying bird.”

“Hey!” (Y/N) said, slapping his shoulder playfully with a false pout. “That’s mean!”

“But true.”

“Oh, do we want to go back to what you sounded like?”

“Oi, watch it, brat.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Levi gave (Y/N) a light-hearted shove before standing up to stretch, his shirt riding up to show off a bit of his muscular back as he brought his arms above his head. (Y/N) followed him with a large grin on her face when he moved into the kitchen, intent on making tea and forgetting the whole experience. They lapsed into a comfortable silence as Levi heated the water and (Y/N) grabbed the tea leaves, the pair working together seamlessly despite their short time spent as a couple.

When the tea was finally finished, Levi offered a cup to (Y/N), who took it gratefully, before leaning against the counter and taking a sip. (Y/N) watched as Levi closed his eyes and hummed in pleasure at the taste, his body finally starting to unwind again. Her eyes swept over him, her heart beating a steady drum for the man beside her. She loved him so much, felt so lucky to have him, and while the tickle fight had certainly been an experience, she couldn’t wait to have many more adventures just like that with him by her side.

“Hey, Levi?”

“Yeah brat?”

“For the record, I think your laugh is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.”

[violetnotez]

I am in serious need of soft hours headcanons with Izuku. I wanna pamper him with love, hold his cheeks and kiss him tenderly, hold his hands and draw circles on them with my thumb, hug him to my chest to cuddle him, pet his fluffy hair, just tell him how much I appreciate and believe in him. Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, nose kisses, ALL THE KISSES DAMN IT! 😭 I. APPRECIATE. THIS. CUTE. BROCOLI. BOY. Help me plz 😭 I mean, if you can 😂 I know you're very busy with matchups (btw kudos to those

OMG Im so sorry this was so much later! I was really need some good Izuku loving hours when I wrote this, so I hope you like it! Also sorry it was posted at an UNGODLY HOURS I cant have a normal posting scheudele no matter how hard I try!

ALSO I REALIZED U ASKED FOR HEADCANNONS IM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!

Izuku x reader

⤷ Genre: Fluff

⤷ Word Count: 1600+

⤷ Warnings: cursing if ya squint

⤷ Synopsis:   You have been noticing Midoriya has been a little down lately, so you take it upon yourself to cheer him up by sneakily taking his favorite notebook and writing cute messages in his notes, and of course, his reaction is priceless!

This fic is for the @bnhabookclub bingo event!  Here’s my masterlist to see all my work for this event!

Bingo Slot: Doodles On Their Notebook

Your hands were frantically shoving through Midoriya’s things, the collection of All Might merchandise staring at you with piercing eyes as you continued with your search.

Being Izuku’s girlfriend, you pretty much knew Midoriya like the back of your hand. So when he wasn't acting like himself, becoming more sulky and training more, you knew something was seriously wrong with the greenette.

But of course, the green haired boy was determined to prove you wrong, always saying “Im just fine!” or “Dont worry about me angel!” whenever you brought the topic up.

It just- didnt feel right to you...he seemed so sad, so burdened with something inside of him, his green eyes no longer shining like they used to and his body looking as if it was carrying a tremendous weight on his shoulders.

You had decided enough was enough, and that you would remind your boyfriend of how amazing he was by writing affirmations all over his favorite notebook in order to uplift his spirits-if only you could find the damn thing.

“The hell is that book,” you cursed under your breath, your hands now lifting up every textbook on his desk.

“What book are you looking for puppy?”

You felt a spike of coldness rush through your body, your eyes wide as you turned around to look at your confused looking boyfriend.

His hair looked slightly wet, a towel folded underneath his arms and his signature white shirt a little damp from a shower he probably had taken after training. His cheeks were still a little pink, making his freckles a little more prominent, and in any other circumstance you would have pounced on him with kisses from his cuteness.

But-he had just caught you red handed, looking through his stuff...the hell were you gonna get out of this?

“I-uh,” you stumbled out, trying to find a good lie, “I-I lost a notebook, and I-I think it might be here? From when I came over to study?”

Izuku didnt seem to notice your obvious fluster, his eyes downcast and his expression preoccupied.

“I havent seen any of your notebooks lying around...I’ll look for it, dont worry! We’ll find it eventually,” the boy tried to send you a reassuring smile, but it didnt work very well. 

It was sad, tired, worried...just not the usually reassuring Izuku you knew.

All thoughts of your plan filtered out of your mind, your body instantly walking over to the boy. Your hand wrapped around his arm gingerly, some parts rougher than others from his scars as you gently trailed your hand down to rest in his palm.

“‘Zuku, are you feeling okay?” you asked, your voice sweet as you looked up at him with wide eyes. “Is something on your mind? You seem-sad,”

Midoriya sighed, his green orbs looking at you with love and warmth. 

Even if he was looking down, it was reassuring to know he still looked at you like that- at least it wasn't you who was causing this...but what?

“Im sorry puppy, I didn't realize I was worrying you so much,” he said, his voice low as he rubbed his thumb against your hand. “Its just-I-I feel like I'm not improving as much as I should be. I've had this power for some time now, and I can barely use it to half its potential...the others are improving so much, especially Kachan..I just- sometimes I can't help- but think that maybe I'm not cut out for this…”

You tilted your head in confusion, your lips pursed and eyes full of empathy.

You were so relieved to finally know what was eating at your boyfriend so much, but it hurt you to know he was fighting with such insecurities All you wanted to do was love the hell out of him right now and smother him with cuddles and kisses.

“Oh, ‘Zuku,” you sighed out, your free hand finding refuge against Midoriya’s cheek. The boy quietly nuzzled himself into your touch, his skin soft and warm against your palm. “Is that what was bothering you?”

“Yeah-I-I know, it seems silly, its just-”

“No, it doesnt,” you quickly interjected him, a reassuring smile playing on your lips. “Everybody doubts themselves sometimes, no matter how good or bad they are at what you do.

“You're still just training, you're doing everything you can to be the best, more than what most people do in their whole lifetime. Yeah, others are going to improve faster than you, and others are going to improve slower. Just focus on yourself, and your goals, and don't forget what you’ve accomplished. You done so much with yourself Izuku, more than you would ever know, just don't forget that kay?”

Izuku face light up, his expression washing with relief. He instantly buried you into a hug, his taught arms wrapping around you and squeezing you slightly. You smiled at the big softie your boyfriend was, your hands cuddling his body close to you. You felt the boy chuckle slightly, his voice sounding flustered yet more relaxed than before

“What would I do without you?” 

“Probably train until you passed out,” you giggled, a smile gracing your lips, “but seriously Izuku, dont be so hard on yourself, your doing just fine,”

“Okay, I-Ill try,” he stuttered out.

Izuku held you like that for another moment, you both relishing the feeling of the other against your arms. You felt Midoriya pull your body gently away from his, his face facing yours as he placed his hands on your shoulders.

He finally looked a little less solemn, some of the weight being taken off of his shoulders..but that tell tale look of sadness was still there.

“I-I know you were looking for your notebook...but did you maybe want to- stay for a little bit?”

You felt your insides light up from warmth, a grin growing on your face.

God, why did he have to go and be so cute?

“If you want cuddles, ‘Zuku, all you have to do is ask...”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Deku stepped into class the next day, his body almost in a trance as he sat himself down at his usual seat.

Last night was healing for him, just cuddling and having you in his arms, but reality hit him in the face the next day. Those inner demons weren’t quite destroyed, and he realized he still had to battle them, even after the night with you.

He sighed, his shoulders feeling tired as he rummaged through his backpack, pulling out his notebook. 

Mind as well study as he waited for class to start…

He flipped through the first few pages, trying to find the last place he was reviewing, until he noticed something-there was new writing, unlike his own, scrawled in the empty gaps of his notes..

Izuku cocked his eyebrow, his fingers dragging against the message:

“I love how sweet you are, no matter what comes your way.”

Izuku felt his cheeks rise with heat-who wrote that?

He flipped the next page, finding another message:

“Your freckles are adorable and I’d kiss each and every one if I could.”

God, how could these make him so flustered? He felt his whole face rise in heat, beginning to recognize the handwriting as your own. He began to flip through each page, a message almost on every one, all about him:

“You are so strong.”

“I love when you get flustered.”

“Your going to accomplish your dreams and more,”

“Your hair is so cute pls dont ever change it,”

He chuckles at that last one, his digits racking through his locks. His classmates were beginning to file into class, the room becoming much louder than before.

Izuku turned around, his cheeks on fire as he hoped nobody saw him get so flustered-until his eyes met yours.

You were currently talking to Mina and Kaminari a few seats behind, your body sitting on a desk as you watched Izuku with waiting eyes.

Once he made eye contact though, he knew for certain it was you who had written the sweet notes in his notebook- your face lit up with relief, a smile gracing your lips as you sent a wink his way.

Midoriya couldn't help but let a squeak slip out of his lips, his body swiveling around quickly- god, he was too flustered around you!

Midoriya heard Aizawa enter, all his classmated quickly taking their seats and going silent.

He listened to the instruction, opening his notebook to a fresh page to write down notes...but he found himself flipping back to those few pages, rereading every message. It uplifted his spirits, made him feel loved, and he felt so lucky to have someone as caring as you love him back.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

It was now the end of class, the bell ringing daintily around the room as everyone bombarded out to the lunch hall.

You on the other hand stayed behind, walking over to Midoriya as he slowly put his books away in his bag.

“So, did you like it?” you asked, a smile in your voice as you waited for your answer.

Midoriya looked up at you, his eyes wide with gratitude and his cheeks a rosy red-

Yeah, he liked it.

MIdoriya smiled, his grin wide and child-like. “I-I loved it, y/n, thank you!” he shouted, his voice dripping with gratitude.

“God,” you giggled sheepishly, “I took me forever to find that notebook after you fell asleep…”

His hand wracked into his hair again, his bright smile turning into a nervous smile

“Honestly, I don't know if I deserved all that work, but I-I really liked it-”

“Of course you deserve it Izuku!” you quickly reached for his hand, your body moving closer to his, “You are such an amazing person-everything I wrote in there was true, and will always be true.”

Izuku looked up at you, his eyes full of love and admiration. He had never been so grateful and felt so lucky to be with someone as amazing as you.

Midoriya’s cheeks began to turn red again, his body leaning in quickly towards yours. He planted a kiss on your cheeks, his skin leaving a lasting tingle on your skin.

“You know I-I love you-right...cause I do, I really really do,”

[ryik-the-writer]

THE AUDACIOUS STORYBROOKE MIRROR ADVICE COLUMNIST (WEDNESDAY PAPER EDITION) In which Lacey French is a smutty advice columnist for the Storybrooke Mirror.

Ch. 4: Lacey has a conversation with one of her biggest opposers, followed by an interlude with Gold

A03

Wednesday morning came too soon, but Lacey had met the deadline for her column, and she still had a job when she walked into her office.

“Racy Lacey,” Cruella had responded when she sent in the final edit. “When did you become so angelic?”

“Stuff it,” she said to her secondary editor.

Glass’s feedback was mutual.

“Well kid, I admit I had some doubts,” he said just as Lacey was about to scream. “But you pulled it off. We’re getting decent comments on the new column, especially from the higher up.”

“You mean from her majesty,” Lacey spat, despising the woman who got her into this who mess.

“The mayor is pleased, yes,” Glass relayed with a slight warning to his voice.

Lacey ignored it of course, but she didn’t want to talk about that horrid woman any longer.

“What did you think?” she asked, running a finger over a book on his desk.

Glass had the audacity to laugh. “You haven’t asked me that since you were an intern.”

She turned a harsh glare at him and Glass finally put her out of her misery.

“I thought you put a lot of heart into it, and I know it wasn’t easy stepping into something so different from what you’re used to.”

“You’re fucking telling me,” Lacey muttered undetected.

“It’s a heavy subject, I mean good God Lace, did you pick this one to get back at me?”

“Maybe.” Lacey teased.

He let it slide and stood, cueing that there conversation was coming to an end.

“Well you did good, and, well, I’m proud of you kid.”

That was indeed something she hadn’t heard since she was a bright-eyed intern back in high school, and something she hadn’t heard from anyone but him.

Not even from her own father.

“Don’t get mushy on me, Delicate-as-Glass,” she snarked, enjoying the way he bristled from the use of her nickname from him.

“Easy,” he warned, but he more important things to do than lecture his most wild employee on respect.

“Anyway, I think we can start adding one of those with your usual debauchings, and that should keep you in the clear.

It was just as she suspected, but she complained simply to put on a show and then let the matter rest. She’d have to work with Gold some more, which she had no problem with at all.

Though it would seem their attempt at a romantic relationship was going to need some time.

Sunday came around and Lacey hadn’t seen nor heard hide or hair of him since their drink.

As Lacey walked the streets of Storybrooke, an attempt to get her thoughts in order, she but decided she’d visit him that night for more help on her “fluff” article, and maybe some feedback on her smutty one.

Bells rung cleanly through the air as church services let out and Lacey scrunched her nose. The religious zealots in Storybrooke were her biggest haters. It wasn’t uncommon that she’d get some sort of email warning of the damnation of her soul or the obstruction of the town’s youth.

Lacey laughed aloud as she thought of the latter, certain Storybrooke’s youth found their first form of porn in a much more modern way – a fact she often wrote as reply in her emails on the subject.

“Glad to see you’re in good spirits, Miss French.”

Lacey’s grin melted into an annoyed frown at the familiar, very unwelcomed voice.

“Son of a bitch,” she muttered as her most vocal opposer approached: Mother Superior.

The head nun of Storybrooke’s covenant had her finger in the grand pie that was Storybrooke and was quick to take down anything she could pinpoint as “sinful.” Such measures included removing a majority of “inappropriate” books from the town’s school libraries (the public one had been closed for years), mandating separate PE classes at said schools, and worse, writing a religious reminder about the wages sin in Storybrooke’s Sunday paper—Lacey’s fucking territory!

“Morning,” Lacey greeted vilely, glancing over her shoulder. “And…goodbye.” She began to walk away, but was halted by more of the pious nun’s words.

“I was interested to see your choice of column’s this week,” she spoke. “Much more effective than the sinful trash you usually post.”

Lacey swung around on her heal, letting out a fake gasp.

“And here I thought you hated my work,” she gave the nun a plastic smile. “Good to hear you read my columns regularly.”

Mother Superior bristled, already losing her battle with the spicy Lacey French.

“You—you obviously can stop your sinful ways if you give yourself the chance. You could really help people instead of leading them down the path of—”

“I do help people,” Lacey hissed. “Sex, intimacy, closeness, all of those things are important to people, and they come to me for help because unlike you I’m not going to shame them.”

The head nun went quiet and Lacey thought for a moment she’d won this fight and could go about her day in peace, but then a wicked grin spread over Mother Superior’s face and Lacey knew her day was about to get much worse.

“People seek your insight because you’re an easy slut who has whored herself out expertly.”

She said it. The W-word Lacey hated with a passion. The word that was always aimed at her.

She tried to hide the impact it had on her. No one, not even a pillar of the fucking community, was going to get under her skin.

“At least people read my expert advice. From what I seen they shred your little letter of conviction up and donate it to the animal shelter for bedding.”

Mother Superior’s face turned green and her mouth opened again to comment when another familiar figure added their appeal.

“Mother Superior,” Gold greeted darkly. “I do hope since you’ve found time to invade Miss French’s business then you’ve found time to gather the rent for tomorrow.”

The head nun’s expression turned pale. Her mouth failed to work and Lacey found some secret pleasure in her downfall.

“O-of course, Mr. Gold,” she finally replied, giving Lacey one last dirty look before she dashed away to the convent.

Lacey snorted, spinning around to face Gold.

“Thanks cutie pie, but I was handling myself just fine.”

Gold shrugged. “I never miss a moment to remind that gnat of a woman of her place.”

She chuckled at that, though the sting of the nun’s words were still wearing off.

Gold noticed her shift in mood and searched for an out.

“I was…going to call you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Well neither did you.”

“Ugh,” Lacey groaned. “We wrote a column, not slept together, let’s drop it.”

Gold’s face heated and he went quiet.

Lacey sighed, knowing she’d already made the situation between them more awkward than it already was.

“Look,” she said, “I have a few fluff columns I need to go through. How about I come by your place later and you see what you can do.”

Still flustered, Gold could only nod.

“Great,” Lacey said. “I’ll see you then.”

Gold watched her leave, the clanking of her high heels matching the thumping of his heart.

So far there relationship was a sort of business casual agreement, but there was the “what if” factor floating cleanly over them.

His attraction for her was clear between them, but exactly how she felt was still unknown.

For all he knew she was simply using him, but at least it was for his mind and not for his heart.

He was becoming content with their relationship, but he was a lonely soul who would one day want more. What would happen when he tried to take that step? Would it be the end of them?

Unbeknownst to him, the same thought was on Lacey’s mind.

No one had ever stood up for her like that before, and there was a certain tastefulness watching him snarl at that gnat of a nun.

She’d admit that Gold was attractive in his own way. Lean, a decent stature, nicely grayed out, and those eyes. Damn his eyes. The color of whiskey and just as addictive.

She found herself grinning like a freaking teenager as she thought of her unofficial business partner and her growing attraction for him.

It only occurred to her as she got halfway to her apartment that she had spoken to him completely in the open and felt absolutely no remorse or concern.

 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

“Okay, how about this one: Racy Lacey, I’m at my wits in with my new boyfriend—oh never mind, this one’s smut-worthy too.”

Gold scoffed. They’d been looking through emails for the past hour. They were almost though a whole bottle of wine, most of which was drunk by Lacey. Gold avoided the alcohol as much as possible less he embarrass himself.

Lacey seemed to be holding her own though, mostly. She was walking barefoot through his living room, pacing back and forth as she read emails off her phone.

It was a lovely site and very distracting.

“Your mind goes straight to the gutter, doesn’t it?” Gold said, his stomach immediately twisting with anxiety.  

It was the first time he’d attempted to joke with her and, judging by the snort that followed, she took it fairly well.

“Well, people write me for one thing,” Lacey shrugged, falling back beside him on the couch. “So the gutter is a good place to go.”

He chortled, grateful her sense of humor ran deep.

Lacey stared at him over the rim of her glass, curious.

“What about you?” she inquired. “Where does yours goes?”

Gold choked a bit on the sip of wine he’d taken. Not embarrassing himself was starting to go out the window, it would seem.

“S-somewhere more innocent than where yours is,” he said, not meeting her eyes. “Shouldn’t we get back to the column?”

Lacey crawled closer until she was mere inches from him. She crossed her legs, leaning one hand on her knee as she watched him grow increasingly nervous.

“Come on, converse with me,”

Gold resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Lacey French was guiltily tipsy in his living room, and getting increasingly bold at that.

“Miss French…”

“For Christ’s sake it’s Lacey,” she slurred. “We’re defiantly on a first-name basis, I mean come on.”

Gold chuckled nervously. Where they really at that stage already?

“I suppose we are. Now the column…”

“Ugh,” Lacey groaned, setting her glass on the floor beside the couch. “All work, no play. What’s the matter, afraid you’ll fall even more in love with me?”

Gold froze. Honestly, he could faint. Lacey was certainly having a field day with the knowledge of his affections from his drunken email earlier last week.  

She wasn’t mocking him, that much he could tell, but he did increasingly wonder the authenticity of her affections towards him, if there were any at all. She’d probably regret her words tomorrow, but he wouldn’t remind her of them if didn’t bring them up.

“It’d certainly be a challenge not to,” he admitted.

Lacey’s smile stretched further, her chest fluttering.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe Lacey simply wanted to explore this oddity she had developed with Gold. Either way, she was about to make a very drastic decision.

“Hey,” she whispered, chuckling. “How about …”

Gold tilted his head, charmed at the rosiness on her cheeks. “Yes?”

She stared into those eyes, their color so tantalizing and bright.

“…kiss me.”

Gold’s smirk slowly disappeared, his chest seizing.

“I…I beg your pardon?”

“K-I-S-S,” Lacey repeated with a smack of her lips. “me.”

Gold could only stared at the scarlet-faced goddess in front of him, the color of her face making the blue of her eyes stand out all the more.

He did want to kiss her—Gods knows he did—but was this the right time?

Lacey seemed to think so as she leaned forward, expecting his lips. In retaliation, he leaned back, trying to put as much distance between them as possible.

Lacey caught on quickly, pausing when she saw the uncertainty on Gold’s face.

“Yikes, sorry,” she muttered. “You’re not going to catch anything, damn.”

Gold was taken aback by the sudden malice in her tone and, he saw, the flicker of shame in her icy blues.

“What? Lacey what are you talking about?”

Lacey stared glassily at her bare feet, shrugging nonchalantly.

“You said ‘who knows what I have’ during our fight, remember?”

With flaming discomfort, he recalled exactly what she was talking about.

It had been a flare up, a way to push her out as he recovered from his embarrassment, to keep her at arms-length, he previously convinced himself.

The reason was pointless. He’d insulted Lacey, humiliated her really.

It didn’t take a vivid imagination to know that her early conversation with Mother Superior was only a sample what she went through daily. And he’d was no different than the fools in town who jumped to conclusions about virtue.

Her head was still bent, one of her fingers circling a patch of leather on the couch. Gold felt sick that he had made her feel any level of guilt when she shouldn’t at all.

“Lacey,” he said quietly. “I am so sorry. I was foolish. I didn’t mean what I said. I shouldn’t have said it.”  

Lacey shrugged, uncrossing her legs and made her way to the window.

“It doesn’t matter.” She replied, the phrase her constant companion whenever she was compared to someone with such loose morals.

Lacey was as sex positive as they came and encouraged many of her readers to be comfortable and experimental  with their sexuality, but her own experience came from a vivid imagination. Her own standards were extremely high, and her partners very few.

Of course, that didn’t stop the many she turned down from spreading callous rumors about her when she refused their beds, and of course being a sex columnist didn’t lend an the most positive opinion.

She’d learned to deal with the snarls and the crude comments whispered behind her back. She’d eye her opposers down just as damningly as they did her and came out triumph.

Still, the isolation didn’t stop the wave of loneliness that hit her from time to time.

“It does too matter,” Gold fought. “You don’t deserve what I said to you Lacey, what anyone says to you at that!”

“I’m used to it—”

“You shouldn’t be,” Gold cut her off. “You are a beautiful, intelligent person Lacey. And you do something every day that not many people have the ability to.”

Lacey snorted but smiled none the less.

“You’re so brave to do it,” Gold said, his eyes lowering. “Braver than I am.”

Lacey eyed him, cocking her head mischievously.

“I think you’re pretty brave,” she said. “Not too many people have the gall to have Racy Lacey in their house, especially with such nosy neighbors.”

“Damn the neighbors,” he said.

She scooted closer, her breath warm and acidic on his lips.

“I think you’re pretty handsome too,” she smirked.

Gold scoffed. His looks were the last thing he’d credit himself over.

“I’m serious,” Lacey said, her painted nails trailing up his neck. “Especially your hair…”

Gold accepted her touch with earnest, his predatory eyes fluttering shut as he pressed into her hand.

She watched him, a man starved for human affection. Just like her.

She carefully leaned forward, letting her lips brush against his, testing his consent. When he didn’t pull away, she strengthened the kiss, pressing her lip solidly into his as her hands tangled in his locks.

Gold returned it, lost in her taste and desperate for her touch.

They separated for air, Lacey’s hand have gripped the collar of his shirt.

“Hey,” she husked. “What if we…”

He was no fool to not know what she wanted.

He had wanted to protect, but found out she didn’t need protection, not from the town at least.

His own heart was damaged, and Lacey had begun to fix the chips and dents.

He was still hesitant, still ashamed by his behavior toward her earlier, but Lacey was pawing at his shirt and he could think of nothing else but her.

He kissed her again, his hand feeling down her hip.

Lacey was quite receptive. She uncrossed her legs and crawled into his lap, pushing him against the arm of the couch.

He captured her face with one hand while he explored her body with the other. His hands came up to her top, stopping for her permission. Her hands met his and she all but ripped off her shirt, her nipple standing at full attention through her silk bra.

Gold’s hands ran up her back, grazing her breasts and gliding over her stomach, her side, down her thigh and under the fabric of her jeans.

She clung to his shoulders as she let her tongue dance with his. Wetness was already pooling between her legs. This was escalating quickly and yet she had no intention of holding back.

He swallowed when his erection pressed against her thigh. She desired him and she needed him. Now.

With more skill than he could have imagined she managed to get her jeans off in a messy tangle, laughing as he helped her.

His fingers graced against the fabric of her panties, applying just the right kind of pressure to her clit.

“Gold,” she keened, attacking his belt and leaning off of him just enough to help pull his boxers down.

She felt his hard erection twitch, pressing against her flesh, his warmth radiating.

She kissed him again. He groaned and bucked his hips against her. She moved her hands between their bodies to free his throbbing erection from his pants. He groaned when she wrapped her hands around his cock. She wanted to taste him. She wanted him to fuck her. She wanted to bring him pleasure and see it written all over his face.

He trembled a little, grateful she had no qualms with being in charge.

“You are so sexy,” he groaned as she grabbed his cock with one hand and fighting between moving her panties aside and steadying herself with the other. Feeling how good he felt when he finally slipped inside her made all annoyance she felt slip away.

They both sighed and she captured both his hands, pulling them up and behind his head. She entwined her fingers with his and pressed his hands against the couch as she bend forward to kiss him.

She rode him hard, licking, nibbling, sucking at this mouth while she did so. He was hers and she wouldn’t allow him to run off again. He came before she could reach her climax, but feeling his hot seed spilling inside of her brought her over the edge again.

She collapsed on top of him, releasing his hands to play with his hair. And they just breathed together.

Then she started laughing, a throaty ring that made his heart pound.

“Well, Goldie Locks,” murmured as she played with his curls. “I think I have my inspiration for my next column.”

He chuckled and held her ease down so that she was lying on top of him.

“Such a shame you still have to write the tame one, you’re deadline is tomorrow morning, yes?”

Lacey groaned and buried her head in his chest. He kissed her curls in reply.

He was indeed going to enjoy this new relationship with Lacey French.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I’ve been trying to get these two to bang for over a month now, so boom, they banged. I can’t write a smut scene to save my life.

[mycupoffanfiction]

Come Home

Stucky x daughter!Reader Oneshot

The Reader processes a tragic incident while she regrets not calling either of her super soldier adoptive parents, dad. 

Warnings: Angst, death, soft parental fluff.

Word count: Approx 2000

Masterlist

Heeey! This one hits home for me. I lost connection with my own dad a while ago and sometimes just writing about father figures from the MCU helps so damn much! Hope you all like this, I know it’s a bit of a different dynamic compared to my usual stuff. 

Have a lovely weekend, HSC will return soooon! 💖

_____________________________________

You weren’t his. Not really. But in his heart you were his little girl.

A shaky breath passed through Steve’s lips as he lay on a gurney. Broken, tired, too weak to fight. His partner, best friend, lover, boyfriend, Bucky walked alongside as he was wheeled through the halls into the infirmary. “Tell her, Buck.” Steve called to him as he was pushed through the doors into the surgery room.

 Sweat beaded on his brow, swallowing thickly, Bucky looked down at his hands. Blood. Oh so much blood. Too much of it was Steve’s and not enough of it was his own. His mind racing with could haves, should haves and what ifs, but he knew you’d tell him not to think of that and to focus on something else.

 A week long mission had taken your adoptive fathers away from you. A week had turned into two and then into four and eventually morphed into a five month long mission.

 The separation had hurt you; the no contact rule was killing you. The tragic death of your own parents years ago had left you with terrible anxiety towards those you love leaving. Separation anxiety, Bruce had told you and you had never felt more like a little girl than you had then. A toddler. But a grown woman. The separation anxiety was the product of your trauma and becoming so attached to your super soldier parents had meant you had to fight the battle with your mind every time they left for missions.

 You sought comfort in Tony Stark, a man who’s smartness you rivalled. Your genius mind had drawn him to you, made him soften for the young girl the avengers had taken in. A man who treated you like his own, even when everyone saw him as the snarky, narcissistic billionaire, he was just a sweet, humble third father to you.

 Those five months of your fathers being away had left a mark on you. Your anxiety was hard to handle, coupled with college work and the way you had thrown yourself into lab work at the tower. You failed to look after yourself properly. Any dull, quiet moment was just room for your brain to fill with thoughts of tragic possibilities.

 Night time was the worst. Sleeping was near impossible. Things you did made you think of Bucky and Steve. You even started scolding yourself for Steve at the silly mundane things you did. You longed for him to playfully tell you off for rolling your eyes too much or for not putting the mugs upside down in the cupboard even though it made little sense to. You longed for Steve to wake you up in the morning in time for college with a cuddle and a sweet kiss to the cheek. You wanted Bucky to keep you company, hold you tightly when you had a bad day and just needed to let it all out. You needed Bucky to come home and tell you off for being too hard on yourself and make you watch Disney movies with him even though he refused to admit he liked them and it was just to make you relax.

 Excitement and anxiety bubbled under the surface when FRIDAY told you that someone was entering your floor. You bolted out of the kitchen, dropping your bowl and letting it smash to the floor when you saw Bucky leaving the elevator. A strangled whimper as you threw yourself at him, the look of relief flooding your features when he scooped you up. It was real. He was here.

 But then the anxiety took over again. Blood all over Bucky. No Steve. Where was Steve? “Baby doll, you gotta come downstairs.” Bucky sounded broken, so conflicted and your heart near stopped, tears pooling in your eyes. Your breathing hitched as you looked up at him wide eyed, heart hammering so hard you could hear the blood in your ears, thoughts of the worst possible scenario coming to mind. What if he was gone? You’d never had a chance to say it, to call him dad the way you had wanted to, you’d always been too afraid he wouldn’t like it.

 “Steve!” You screamed, Bucky having to physically hold you back as you approached the operating theatre. The viewing windows were a terrible idea, but you’d pushed and pushed to get in to see. The heart rate monitors were showing how unstable he was. “No, no, no.” You whimpered out, pressing your hands up to the glass as they worked on him, on your Steve.

 You sobbed and let out a silent scream when the heart rate monitor skipped out and went blank, the monotone beep felt deafening and you almost collapsed, had it not been for Bucky clutching to you tightly, his arms wound around your waist. “Don’t look, baby, don’t look.” He cooed, trying to keep calm for you, trying to pull you away from the windows but you resisted and he knew he couldn’t stop you.

 Tears rolled down his cheeks as he watched the team try to resuscitate him. “Clear.” And the heart wrenching sound of the defibrillator coupled with Steve’s torso jolting was too much. You began to hyperventilate as you leaned back against Bucky. You clung to his t-shirt, sobbing, pleading for Steve to live, to make it through. You couldn’t look any longer and you buried your face into Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky trembled underneath your touch, his tears cascading down into your hair as he watched, unable to tear his eyes away.

 They stopped. But Dr Cho urged, one more try, one more chance. “Clear!” The jolt was harsher than the previous ones and the heart rate monitor jumped back to life and you almost screamed at the sound of his heart coming back to life. “It’s okay, doll.” Bucky tried his best to soothe you, but with his own distress of seeing his Steve, his partner in there having died for a few minutes was unravelling him and he felt just as broken as you. But he tried so hard to keep it together for you.

 Hours passed in the waiting room. You had refused to leave and Bucky had urged you to sleep in his embrace. You’d finally succumbed to rest, the anxiety, pressure and tears having exhausted you and you slept soundly on his shoulder. Bucky wondered if you were dreaming of something good, something nice. Perhaps of the future where he and Steve owned a little house and a bunch of animals and you’d eat dinner with them with the fresh vegetables Bucky had grown. Perhaps you were dreaming of something more simple like your movie nights with them both or when they took you out for dinner once a week to the diner you all loved so much.

 The news was like music to your ears, like nothing you could describe. “He’s stable.” Helen Cho had informed you and you couldn’t help the tears as they came again, but this time they were tears of relief. “He pulled through, he’s just waking up and you’ll be able to see him soon.” She reassured you both.

 You clung to Bucky as you walked into Steve’s hospital room, a sleepy smile on his face as he spotted you both walking in. “Stevie?” You whimpered out, walking towards Steve, hands latched onto Bucky’s arm and shirt. “Hey baby girl.” Steve rasped out; eyes half lidded. He was hazy, drugged up, tired and perhaps a bit dazed. The drugs they had to use on Steve were extremely potent, being a super soldier meant that most things were not strong enough for his body. He might be a super soldier and it might take a lot to take him down, but it took him a lot to get back up when he was floored the way he had been.

 He was super, but not invincible and this was a painful reminder of that fact. “I missed you so much, c’mere.” Steve sleepily beckoned you over, Bucky coming around to the opposite side to hold his boyfriend while he held you. Heavy arms lazily closed around you, pulling you to Steve’s warm chest. He radiated heat, more than usual as his metabolism increased to help with the healing process. You couldn’t help but cry, but you were so exhausted from crying that it hurt. Your eyes were sore, stomach and chest painful from the tears and heaving for breath while you tried to keep your anxiety at bay. “Please don’t go.” You whimpered out. “Please don’t go again.” You cried into his shoulder. “I’m right here, we’re right here sweetheart.” Steve murmured, only semi coherent.

 “What did I say about this, young lady?” Steve huffed, a wide grin on his face as he peered into the cupboard, having missed the mundane. “Are you allergic to putting the mugs the right way up?” He asked playfully, looking over his shoulder at you while you munched on your breakfast. “You should count it a miracle that they even went in the cupboard.” You giggled, knowing he was only playing and he couldn’t actually be mad at you for it.

 Steve was still in recovery, still wearing a few bandages, but he was mostly healed. But you had forced him to take a lot of time off, arguing that not having him and Bucky for five months and then almost losing him was enough to break you entirely and you needed him to stay, just for a while until you had all healed from the situation. There were few physical injuries left on him now, but there was plenty of inner pain in all three of you that could only be fixed with time, love and being around one another.

 “It’s windy out, let my tie your hair back, doll.” Bucky spoke softly as he gathered your hair up, smoothing it out with his fingers gently. “Thank you.” You smiled over your shoulder at him while he fiddled with your hair. “You sure you’re ready to go out?” You asked. “Sweetheart, it’s just a trip to the market.” Steve grinned as he pulled every damn mug out of the cupboard to put them all back in upside down.

 Bucky finished tying your hair back just as Steve slid you a cup of coffee. “Thanks, dad.” You smiled down at your cup as you pulled it close, both soldiers pausing to look at you, wondering who you’d aimed that at. You looked up at them both with a sweet smile, a blush creeping across your features, wondering if it was the wrong thing to do, wondering if they didn’t like it. Silence filled the kitchen and Bucky couldn’t help but share a wide smile with Steve.

“You’re welcome.” They both said in unison, smiles mirroring yours as they flitted their gaze between you and each other.

 “Who were you referring to?” Bucky asked, arm slung around your shoulders as all three of you walked into the lift. “Who’d you call dad?” Steve added, pressing the button for the ground floor. You paused for a moment, a little smile making its way onto your lips as you thought about your answer.

“Both of you.” You hummed out, looking between the two men on either side of you, Steve’s arm coming to rest around your middle, both of them cherishing the moment. “I was afraid I’d never get to say it.” You admitted, glancing up at Steve and Bucky through your lashes. Soft smiles and happy eyes looking down at you, both unable to think of an answer using words, so they used actions instead. You were squeezed between them, a gentle kiss on your temple from the left and a kiss to the top of your head from the right.

They felt like they were finally, truly, home.

_____________________________________

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@shygirl-00 @swanlakemikey @scuzmunkie @paintballkid711 @lovelylilia @mapreza1 @love-bucky-3000 @cals-cigarette @scarlett-berserker @2407zzz @mercurybarnes @mywinterwolf @geeksareunique @fairislesheets @wendaiii @mochibarnes @anyasthoughts @miamua-posts @megantje123 @sideeffectsofyou

[tiaragqueen]

Can I have 5 in manipulative yandere starter prompts for garou :>

Over A Barrel

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Garou x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,3k

✂ Trigger Warning: Killing, stalking, mention of domestic violence, possessive behavior, yandere theme.

[Edited]

***

For those who want the sequel of At Variance, here it is.

5. “Don’t think of it as a ‘punishment’… it’s more of a lesson.”

Part 1

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“Because to take away a man’s freedom of choice, even his freedom to make the wrong choice, is to manipulate him as though he were a puppet and not a person.”  ― Madeline L'Engle

It has been a few weeks ever since Garou’s little… tantrum. For those who have witnessedthe little spat, they might consider it as more than just a mere tantrum. Afterall, it was bordering on violence. And just a bit more, it could cross the domestic abuse territory.

Honestly, you couldn’t blame them for thinking that way.

Garou was never hesitant to throw hands when needed. Or inyour case, asserting his dominance.But it wasn’t so much of a tantrum, in your opinion. If he did mean to hurtyou, he could’ve done that easily and quickly. Your strength was nothing compared to his, and the splitcoffee table in your living room proved the largedifference between both powers.

And ever since that fateful day too, Garou had sort of‘stayed’ with you. Probably to keep an eye on you or something. As assured ashe could be, he still wouldn’t want you to suddenly change your mind despitethe subtle threat and leave him. Itwas almost funny how hard he tried tocover his paranoia with sneers and lies when you knew better.

Not only that, but you also noticed that he had begun tofill you in more regarding his recent battle. Normally, he would sulk aroundwhen the enemies were nothing like he’d expected or kept quiet to refrainhimself from accidentally lashing out to you. He might not exercise highself-control, but even he could be rather considerateof your feelings. Now, he had made it a point to brag about how they were too‘weak’ for him to handle regardless of his fluctuating level of satisfaction.

It didn’t take a genius to know that he was trying to implyhis power over you, or how he wasmore than capable of killing fellowhumans should you ever resort to a more ‘violent’ payback. It wasn’t like youcould do it, anyway. And he knew it,too. Yet, despite his annoying bragging, he also had a strange tendency toleave those heroes alive afterbeating relentlessly rather than dead like you’d expected to.

Not that you prayedfor it to happen, though. It was just something that you automatically assumedsince he seemed so… passionate whentalking about his ideals.

You sat on your knees, staring at the bloody carcass infront of you. From afar, it might look like you were mourning its death. Butyou knew better than taking pity on a being that almost killed you on the spot.It was just a way for you to prolong the thick silence since running wasn’t theoption anymore. Not when you had blown up your only chance of seeking help from the nearby heroes. He could easilydefeat them to the ground, yet you remained optimisticthat someone would come to save you someday.

“What are you doing here?”you hissed. “I thought you went to fight that A-class hero.”

“Oh, trust me I did.”His reverberant voice was calm. Toocalm for your liking. Too calm for someone that should be angry. “I think I should be the one who asked you that. What thefuck are you doing here? Didn’t yehear the announcement earlier? I’m pretty sure yer apartment isn’t sound-proof,unless ye chose to make yourself deafby blasting yer shitty music at full volume again.” 

Fiddling with your fingers, you feigned deafness over hisquestions. Garou heaved a weary sigh, clearly unimpressed with your sorryattempt of maintaining innocence.

“Aren’t ya going to thank me? I saved you, y'know? Without me, ye would’ve been long a goner.”

You gritted your teeth, refusing to give him the attentionhe secretly craved. Garou might notbe the most affectionate boyfriend to ever exist, but even he liked to be takencare of – or in your case, fuss over –once in a while. He was still a human,after all. He wasn’t a completemonster like he’d called himself. What was the point of dating if he rejectedthe idea of loving attention? “I was doing fine.I didn’t need your help.”

“Oh, is that so? ‘Cause ye looked so fucking scared back there. That monster almostturned ya into its damned fodder. I don’t know if ye could survive by justthrowing rocks on to that thing.” Histone took a lighter, mocking one. “Nowonder it laughed at ya. I thought it was quitecute too; how ye struggled around like that.”

Unable to contain the frustration and sadness anymore, youwhipped your head towards him. “Shut up!” you snapped. “Just… shut up, okay?! I know I’m not stronglike you. I know I’m weak. So stopmocking me!”

The howling of the wind followed your outburst. You breathedheavily, staring at his impassive face through your blurry gaze. The tears lefta hot track along your cheeks as you sniffled.

“If ye already know yer weak,” he began, voice soft yetdevoid of any emotion that might give you an insight into his true feelings. Was he angry? Was he sad?Nobody knew. “Then, why did ye insiston escaping?”

Your stomach dropped. Trembling, you averted your gaze fromhis piercing one and looked down. Well, what did you expect? That he would befooled by your pitiful attempt? Thathe would pretend to not see the obvious? That he would go away if you yelled at him? Garou was smart, you knew that much. But, again, optimism forced you to stay hopeful. That someday, someone – anyone – would come into your rescue,even though he had saved you earlier.

“I’m not fucking stupid,[Name].” He blinked emotionlessly, calmly, patiently.As though he was your father and you were his daughter who had made a mistakeand tried to cover it with poor excuses. “I knowwhy ye escaped. But honestly, with all these dangers lurking around, ya thinkye can fucking leave that easily? Ya think ye can live for more than an hourafter ye stepped a foot outside yer apartment?”

Garou jumped down from the ruins of a destroyed house andstood beside you. “I don’t know if yer just plain dumb or what, but you clearly can’t look after yer damn self if youalmost got killed five minutes afteryou escaped.”

You froze, eyes dilated. “You… How did you know? Did youstalk me?” You turned to look at him in the eye, trying to search for any hint that he might be joking. A slighttwitch on the corner of his lips, the laughter that bubbled in his throat, themirthful glint in those sharp irises. Anything.“Did you stalk me, Garou?”

Clicking his tongue, he rolled his eyes. “Why do you thinkyer still alive until now?”

The breath hitched in your throat once the truth dawned onyou. Not that it hadn’t, you just wanted indulge in denial a bit longer. Afterall, playing oblivious was easierthan facing reality.

“You don’t think ye can prance around without my knowledge,do ya?” he scoffed. “How fucking naïve.Thought ye were a bit smarter than that. I’m disappointed.”

“H-how long…?”

“Since I left the dojo, honey.”

The sarcastic pet name left a bitter sensation as you bityour tongue from retorting.

“Saw ya running like a fucking lunatic and met thatmotherfucker on the street. I wanted to see how long you could fare on yer own,but turns out, my hunch was damn correct.”He sighed like he was the one who was tired and not you who had struggled to survive and almost lost your fucking life in theprocess. “But ye know what? Don’tthink of it as a ‘punishment’… it’s more of a lesson.”

You remained immobile as he lifted you effortlessly andcarried you bridal style back to your apartment. It wasn’t like you could runaway, anyway. Not anymore.

“If ye escape again, I might let ‘em cripple you for life soye can’t run away from me anymore.” You winced when he tightened his griparound your injured body. “Yer stuck with me.Remember that.”

[haikyuu-imagines-and-others]

MAFIAYAZUKI AU SENARIOPLSPLSPLS WITH KYOUTANI (if you do Him), kurooand iwai WHERE THEIR CIVILLIAN GF HAS JUST BEEN CAPTURED BY TEIR RIVALS AND ONCE THey FIND THEM THEY ARE LIKE TREATING THEIR WOUNDSBRUISES ETC AND JUST BEING REALLY PROTECTIVE OVER THEM IN GENERAL AND THEY NOTICE HOW THE GIRL IS LIKE REALLY QUIET AND FLINCHES EVERY NOW AND THeN JUST PURE ANGSTFLUFF

Oh boy oh boy! Guns and blood? Yessssssss Yakuza is my SHIT! Well…. Anything with guns or general badass-ery is my SHIT! For this request… I felt like it would be REALLY long if I did both the action of them getting you back AND the aftercare… So for now… please accept just them getting you back…. Once I open the ask box, please feel free to spike in the second part of this request (the aftercare) and I’ll get my ass in gear and write it! Thanks for requesting, sweetie! - Admin Satori

Kyoutani Kentarou: *Don’t hate me Mad-dog! I’ve never written for you either T~T*

Rage was bubbling all across his body, making his chest feel too tight, feeling like if he inhaled just the slightest he’d explode with fury. Why hadn’t he been there? How the hell had you escaped his line of sight? Kyoutani felt a mixture of shame, guilt, and unrelenting, hell raising rage as he burst through the doors of his family’s rival - mowing them down easily with his assault rifle. They’d been caught by surprised - they’d only just stolen you that afternoon! And yet here Kyoutani was to get you back! They’d been expecting negotiations, not a goddamn bloody raid!

Blood splattered all over the rivaling family’s furniture, some even back splattering on his clothes and face - but he couldn’t give a damn. You’d been taken from him. Right in front of his goddamn face. He tossed aside the rifle once it clicked empty, reaching into the back of his waistband and pulling out a pistol, popping off a shot at his hip as a rival goon rushed him. During battles, during fights, during brawls like this - war like this - Kyoutani was laser focused on what was needed from him. He had a tendency to tune everything out and do as directed.

Only no one was directing him now.

The Mad Dog’s muzzle had been torn loose.

“Stop! Or I’ll shoot her.” Came a faux confident voice from the top of the manor’s stairs, causing Kyoutani’s eyes to flash up at the speaker. It was the youngest son of the rival family. Kyoutani couldn’t be bothered to remember the punks name, but he knew he was a little bastard who always tried to pull shit like this with the other families. The drama queen - the overlooked child. Said child gulped at Kyoutani’s piercing gaze, pressing the barrel of the gun against your temple as a show he was ‘serious’. “I’ll do it!” He yelled, hating that his voice broke.

Kyoutani glared at the boy, not giving you a spare glance. He knew you were hurt, beaten, bloody and crying… He knew if he so much as looked at you…. He’d lose his mind. He’d lose whatever little control he had over the situation. And while this boy didn’t understand the first thing about bluffing and threats…. Kyoutani couldn’t afford to mess up now… Not with your life on the line - not with a gun to your head.

“N-now… You’re going to turn around and walk right out of here… She’s mine, now, got it?” The boy nodded his head towards the front door that Kyoutani had bursted through not moments before. “You can just tuck your tail between your legs and go fuc-“

Pop.

You screamed and ducked away from the noise, closing your eyes tightly. There was a heavy thud as the boys body fell back onto the hardwood of the floor, and a few seconds later you could feel blood seeping into your shoes and socks as it puddled around the two of you. You sobbed and reached up, covering your face, trying not to think about what had just happened - all because you’d strayed just a little too far from your boyfriend. If you’d stayed by his side…. You wouldn’t be sitting in a growing puddle of mixed blood.

“Are you okay?” A rough voice pierced your thoughts and made you jump in surprise, in fear, away from the owner of it.

You braced yourself and held up your arms in an X formation, a form of defense, “NO!” You cried out. You peeked open an eye to see it was Kyoutani, your boyfriend, the love of your life staring at you with warm golden eyes - he’d started to reach out to you, but had flinched back at your defensive maneuver.

“Shh…. It’s okay… I’m not going to hurt you… I promise…” He whispered, and the tender tone of his voice made you reach out and wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder and sobbing your heart out to him. Kyoutani felt his heart breaking in his chest, and he pushed away the remaining rage; You needed him right now. You needed him…. He’d just have to take care of the rest of the family once he was sure you were safe and taken care of. “Come on, _____…. Let’s go home…” He murmurs quietly, slowly wrapping his arms around you, one arm under your bottom to support your weight while his other rested on the side of your face. You realized he was shielding you from the heinous scene of death he’d caused. The destruction he’d singlehandedly brought to the rival’s outpost.

Kuroo Tetsurou:

Kuroo ducked behind a pillar as a barrage of bullets rained down on him, and he closed his eyes tightly, feeling the few cuts of close calls still burning with pain. “Fucking bastards….” He growled lowly before doing quick pop shots of the rival’s goons, taking one out with a headshot before ducking back behind his cover, and doing the same trick until the 5 of them were dead. Inhaling sharply, he rushed from the pillar to just behind an overturned table, rummaging around the dead goon’s bodies for anything of use - bullets, knives, information, anything. “They should fucking know better…. Off limits means off fucking limits.” He hissed.

“Do you really think I give a damn, Tetsu?”

“Fuck you!” Kuroo yelled, popping his head up from behind his cover before ducking again as more bullets were shot at him, “Why don’t you get rid of your little army and we can talk like real men!” He called to the second son of his family’s rival gang - Hisao.

The young man laughed, “I’m not a fucking idiot, Tetsu. You gotta show a little effort if I’m going to put out.” Kuroo was about to pull out one of his favorites, a flash bang, when Hisao tutted, “Ah, ah, ah - Old Tetsu isn’t going to be using the flashy grenade now is he? I don’t think little girlie here would much appreciate that. Such pretty eyes~! Would be a shame if she suddenly went blind… Or worse.” He mused happily, and immediately Kuroo was pulling his hand back from the grenade.

“Get her out of here, Hisao, and I promise your death will be quick.” Kuroo scooted to the edge of the table, glancing around the edge to see three more of the family goons were aiming their rifles at where he’d popped his head up just a few seconds ago.

“Oh? Is that so?” The young man smiled warmly, “Ah, I think I’ll be fine…. You old men are too slo-“

Pop. Pop. Pop.

Kuroo stood from his hiding place, smirking at the younger man, “What was that you were going to say, you little shit?” He asked smugly, walking closer to where Hisao stood with you on your knees in front of him.

Hisao held up his own gun right at Kuroo’s head, raising an eyebrow, “Drop it…. And I’ll think about letting her look away when I blow your head off your shoulders.” He shrugged, impishly, not really caring either way - but knowing he’d be held to the highest regard if he took out the only son of his family’s rival. No longer would he be frowned upon. He’d be calling the shots. “What a good kitty.” He hummed happily when Kuroo did as he was told, sliding his pistol over to where he stood, “Now…. Get on one knee…. And pledge to me your allegiance, like a good peasant.”

Kneeling on one knee, Kuroo was only a few yards from you, his golden eyes met your confused eyes - how could he give up his weapon so easily? You felt tears well up and spill down your cheeks as you stared at him, begging him to do something, to fight back. A ghost of a smirk curled the corners of his lips, and he sent a quick wink your way. “Well? What? Old bastard didn’t hear me?” Hisao was so sure of his victory, he’d neglected to watch Kuroo carefully, neglected to see the sly cat’s hands.

“Ah… Of course… Hisao…. There’s no satisfaction in hell.” Kuroo hissed around his smirk as he tossed out his arm, three small daggers escaping his fingers and embedding themselves in Hisao’s neck. The young man stumbled backwards, shock in his eyes before his hands numbly reached up, pulling out one of the daggers from his neck. “Wounds 101, Hisao…. Never pull it out.” Kuroo tutted as he made his way to where you were on your knees, your back to Hisao.

The young man choked out an unintelligible reply, his action of pulling out the dagger causing his blood to flow freely from his severed artery. He bled out within minutes and his body’s heavy thud made you flinch and close your eyes tightly. Kuroo reached forward and pulled you against his chest, his right hand covering the side of your face, “Don’t look…” He whispered, his voice softer than before, gentle, knowing you’d seen too much today - you’d been too close to the fire that consumed his everyday life. And while he was too selfish to give you up… He didn’t want you having the image of a dead man in your mind forever.

Iwaizumi Hajime:

“This is some straight up bullshit.” Iwaizumi growled, feeling like his head was going to explode with the rush of adrenaline pumping through his system. He felt stronger than ever. Whether that was because your life was at stake or because he’d been given permission to kill your kidnappers was still undecided. Holding his pistol in one hand, he used his other to pull the belt off the dead man he was crouched next to - needing it as a tourniquet to slow the blood loss from the bullet holes in his arm and shoulder.

“Come now, Hajime! I’m only returning the favor for what your family did to my cousins a few weeks ago.” The voice of the first son of Iwaizumi’s family rival, Kin, only fueled his rage, it hadn’t even been Iwaizumi’s decision that time! That’d been his uncle’s choice to take out that outpost. And while his uncle was a badass of a Iwaizumi family member, he didn’t speak for every member of their family!

Iwaizumi closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath before he popped out from his hiding space, taking out two of the guards before he was shot in his other shoulder. He crouched down again, his free hand going to press against his wound, feeling like his body was on fire from the pain. “Fuck….” He hissed before checking his clip. Only 4 bullets left. “Fuck.” He looked up at the ceiling, praying for his aim to be on point; Your life depended on his aim. “Piece of shit!” Iwaizumi yelled as he popped back up, shooting the remaining guards before approaching Kin, using the gun as a bluff to get as close as possible.

“Ah, ah, ah…. Not another step.” Kin smiled, having his gun pointed at your head. You stared up at Iwaizumi, tears in your eyes - you’d been through so much pain. So much of your body was hurting. One of your eyes had swelled shut after you’d taken a beating from the goons, your bottom lip was split, and you were sure you had a minor concussion.

“H-Hajime…” You whimpered, your tears spilling over now, “I-it hurts…”

Your boyfriends dark green eyes flashed to Kin, and for a split second, Kin realized this was a mistake. Messing with the Iwaizumi family only meant destruction of his own. But there was no backing down now. Go big or die trying. “Let her go….” Iwaizumi’s voice was low, almost quiet, but the strain of it didn’t go unnoticed by Kin.

Kin raised an eyebrow, “Why would I do that? She’s my new bride….” He smirked, glancing down at you before pressing the barrel of the gun to your temple, “Although… She’s very prudish… I’ll just have to make her into one of my whores after I’ve gotten rid of y- HEY!” Before Kin could realize what had happened, Iwaizumi had taken the opportunity of his eyes on you to chuck his emptied gun at Kin’s head before lunging at him. The two of them landed on the floor, Kin’s gun going off once, the bullet burying in one of the wooden pillars of the house, before the force of the fall caused Kin to let go - the metal of the gun scraping against the marble floor sealed Kin’s fate. Iwaizumi sat on top of his rival easily, bringing down his fists against the young man’s face - doing to him what had been done to you.

“H-Hajime! Stop! Please!” Your voice sounded distant to him, as if you were yelling down a long tunnel. He paid it no mind and continued to beat down on Kin, not even realizing that the young man had long since stopped fighting back. “Hajime!” A force against Iwaizumi’s back made him lean forward in surprise, and he quickly grabbed the arm that was around his neck before turning and raising a fist at whoever had attacked him now. You pulled your other arm above your head, cowering away from your boyfriend with eyes shut tight, your other arm still held hostage in his tight hold.

“____….” His voice was hoarse, but once he’d realized what it was he was doing, he immediately let go of your arm. You fell backwards onto your bottom, bringing your knees up to your chest and hiding your face in them - you’d been fine through the beating done by the goons… But just the mere thought of the love of your life hitting you terrified you. “_____.. I-I…. I’m so sorry…” Iwaizumi whispered, reaching towards you and flinching back when you leaned away. He looked down at his hands and realized they were stained with blood. His entire arm was covered in his own, and if he slowed down now… He was sure he’d start to feel dizzy from blood loss.

You noticed this. You saw his blood slowly pooling on the floor underneath him. He was in no condition to keep going. Steeling your nerves, you got to your feet, grabbing his unsure hand and pulling him behind you towards the entrance of the building. You weren’t doing too good either, your black eye gave you the worst depth perception, and every step you took felt like you were stepping on hot coals. White hot coals. But you’d walk through hell to make sure Iwaizumi was okay.

[weapon13whitefang]

The Walking Dead 8x13 Things

I’m just gonna get this out of the way - I don’t think Dwight’s arrow was tainted, but if Tara dies at the end of this season, then I’m gonna be raging so hard and it might be what takes me from a fan to a backseat casual viewer. Because I’m sick of this shit with killing off LGBTQA+ people on this fucking show. Even if “their arc was wrapped up”, I don’t care. Alisha, Denise, Eric, and now Tara? I’m not okay with that anymore. I wasn’t okay with Denise and now I’m really not okay if it’s Tara.

Eric I’m very upset about for Aaron, but I’m hoping it leads to the Jesus/Aaron romance by S9 like in the comics because I do rather enjoy that pairing and Paul needs a boyfriend and Aaron needs someone as full of heart as him... I’m gonna go on a ramble so I’ll shit up on that.

My point isssss... STOP KILLING THE BLACK PEOPLE AND LGBTQA+ PEOPLE!!

Okay! Moving on to more shit.

Back to Tara... I keep seeing a lot of people say that Tara’s arc is ending. That she’s going to be killed because she’s not needed anymore and has no use... I don’t believe that at all.Because Tara is still a use... Because of Oceanside.

Tara is a connection to Oceanside with Cyndie. Right now, Aaron is trying to get Oceanside to work with him and the others for the war against Negan. See if he can rally the troops. With Natania killed by Enid, Cyndie has taken over as the new leader. Oceanside follows her lead. She is the one that can turn her people to help take down the Saviors.

But right now Cyndie is hurt and angry. Her grandmother was killed by Enid. Natania was making choices, killing whoever she could find that encroached the Oceanside territory. Enid didn’t have to kill her, but she did to save herself and Aaron. It was Natania or them. There could’ve been another choice, sure. But a choice was made. And it hurt Cyndie. That was her family, no matter if she was in the right or wrong. And Cyndie made a choice to not kill Enid and Aaron and let them go... Just like she did with Tara.

Right now, the only person that Cyndie has a decent connection to is Tara. Aaron is trying to connect to them and make a connection. But Aaron might not be able to alone. These women are wary of men. Aaron may be gay, but he’s still a male and that trust is going to be hard for Cyndie to reach for. Especially with Aaron being with Enid when Natania died.

So here’s what’s possible. Aaron may return to the fray and need help with things. Or Tara decides to go for help. Oceanside had people willing to fight and Cyndie has a relationship of some trust with Tara already. Tara is the one who can truly bridge Oceanside and TFs group together for the final fight. aron might be the one to bring them all to the battle, but Tara is the one who can close the bridge. Thus why I personally feel like she’s still got a story to work through.

Now I could be wrong and Tara is approaching death. It won’t be from Dwight’s arrow - again, don’t believe he poisoned his arrows and he shot her to save her from Simon - and this is going to be important for Simon and Tara. And also for Daryl.

See Tara’s story still connects to Daryl. Tara and Daryl and Dwight and Rosita have the strongest connection. I keep seeing people say that Tara is too forgiving of Dwight, but Tara’s not. She hasn’t forgive Dwight for killing Denise. She will always have hate in her heart for him and what he did to Denise... But she saw him as she saw herself.

The argument between Daryl and Tara in 8x13 was interesting because it was a full circle connection for Tara... And it also brought up something weird

Daryl: Hey... You shouldn't be out here. Tara: Oh it's just.. It's just a scratch. I can help. Daryl: What if it wasn’t? Tara: Then it'd be my own damn fault. He’s back with them because of me. Daryl: No, he’s back with them because that’s who he is. Tara: We got lucky. Finding Maggie, Rick. It could have been different. It was for me, when I was with the Governor. Daryl: Yeah, but you weren’t one of them. Tara: But I was with them. Your brother too. Daryl: My brother? My brother ran the wrong way his whole life. If he were here, if I’d stuck with him when he left, we’d be with the Saviors too. Or some other group just like them. But I’d have figured out who they were, just like you did. Tara: Maybe that’s what happened to Dwight. Daryl: Is that before or after he killed your girl? Or is that all square now? Tara: It is. Look, I might hate him forever, but he saved my life. Daryl: No, he tried to kill you last night. Tara: When we were in the woods, when we were coming here, I saw him try and help us win. Daryl: Yeah, I saw what I saw too. 

In the argument, Tara brings up Merle. This was both delightful to me because I love Merle... But it makes no sense. Why? Because Tara never met Merle. Tara met the Governor after Merle was killed, after the Governor lost the to Rick and Woodbury fell. How would she know about Merle? Unless Daryl or someone has explained everyone's history to her... Even so, she didn’t know Merle and wouldn’t have known him from cow shit vs horse shit.

Even Daryl seems a bit surprised by Tara mentioning Merle. He’s actually kind of defensive and against using Merle in the topic because to him, Merle was always on a path that’d get himself in trouble or killed. Because that’s who Merle was... But that’s wrong in a sense.

Merle fucking KNEW how the Governor was. He knew how Philip played. It’s why he lied about killing Michonne. It’s why he was so amped up to kill the guy. He knew that the Governor was bad news a long time ago. He was sticking around because he owed Philip and he needed the man to get the resources to find Daryl again. To see of his brother was still alive. Merle made reckless and cruel choices under the Governor, but you can see he wasn’t necessarily okay with them. He did what he had to because he believed that was how he found Daryl. Merle was an enigma. He even said so himself that he didn’t understand the thigs he did. Just that he did them. But even so, 90% of the time - ten percent being when Merle was high on the roof and when he didn’t know TF was still alive - Merle did what he did to be with Daryl and find him. Would Merle have ended up with someone like Negan? To save his and Daryl’s ass, probably yes. He would’ve done what he needed to keep him and Daryl alive. Merle wasn’t dumb. He was a cold survivor. To have Daryl brush Merle off like he’d just go with the next big bad guy... That doesn’t sit right with me at all. Pretty sure Michael Rooker would agree with me as well. For the most part anyway.

(Sorry, got on a rant here)

So using Merle and writing him off like that doesn’t work... And Daryl acting like he’d have just left is wrong too. S1 Daryl was still the Daryl that went around and did whatever Merle said. Merle was going to have him and Daryl rob the camp near Atlanta and then split. If that had gone through, Daryl would still be following Merle and probably end up dead or yes, sticking to a group like the Saviors and backing Merle up. They both would’ve probably wised up real quick, but they’d still be doing what they needed to stay alive and get out.

By S3, yes. Daryl leaving off with Merle and finding a group like the Saviors.. He would’ve wised up to them quick. Even S1 Daryl would’ve. But because Rick took a chance on Daryl in S1 and S2, by S3 Daryl had been allowed to grow out of Merle’s shadow so that kept him from making a choice that lead him and Merle to someone like Negan.

Tara was a different story. She was hauled up in an apartment with her sister and niece and father. the Governor saved her from her father after he turned into a walker. She had no clue about his past, who he was and what he’d done. He was just the guy who saved her. That he was a guy who wanted to help them find a better, safer place. Especially since Tara didn’t really know how to stop walkers until the Governor told her how. She was even one of the first to agree with the Governor to take the Prison from TF. But things weren’t like she was expecting them to be and Rick SAW that. It was Rick who turned to Tara and tried to reason with her. To have her help reason with the Governor. When shit hit the fan, Tara ran away and hid because once she saw the Governor kill Hershel, she realized that she wasn’t where she should be - that she was wrong - and made a run for it.

Tara mentions to Daryl that maybe that’s what happened to Dwight. Daryl sayibg he would’ve wised up and left the bad people he might’ve ended up with, is what Tara did and she believes that is what Dwight did. Which is kind of right. Except Tara didn’t kill people. But she was there and didn’t stop people from getting killed. So in a way, yes. Her and Dwight are similar in that they got blood on them. Dwight killed because he believed that was what he had to do to keep going on and be safe and alive for Sherry. Sherry chose Negan to protect herself and to protect Dwight. When they came back, she went back to Negan so Dwight wouldn’t be killed. He was maimed but he was alive. Negan took a lot from Dwight and it took Daryl and Sherry leaving to really make Dwight realize just truly how much he wanted Negan dead. He even says to Simon that, yeah, he thought about killing Negan. But he was surviving. Sherry was too. But Sherry had enough and ran. Because Dwight was surviving to a point he was no longer the man she loved. That pushed Dwight. Her saving Daryl. Meeting Daryl... That all changed Dwight. Or at least snapped him back to who he was meant to be; a better man.

. Daryl can’t see that though. Some people say that Daryl wants to kill Dwight because of what he did to Denise... But there’s more to it than that. Before Daryl even came across Dwight, he was having nothing but shit luck on saving people. He was still trying to be a good person like Aaron said he was. Like Beth and everyone knew he could be and he was. But then Daryl couldn’t save Button the horse, he was already hurt from loosing Beth and Tyreese and Noah, and then he tries to help Dwight and Tina and Sherry and they knock him out and tie him up and take his stuff from him while holding a gun to his head. That was enough for Daryl. Dwight and them get away, sans Tina, and Daryl is left angered that he went back to help these people with Tina’s insulin and they still fuck him over. Flash forward, he meets Jesus and Hilltop and he goes with Rick on killing a whole damn community in their sleep because, to him, there aren’t good people anymore and fuck everyone. So he helps kill this community. Jump forward, he takes Denise out with Rosita to help her get the medicine... But also because Denise WANTED Daryl and Rosita because - as she says - he reminds her of her brother and makes her feel safe. Right after she says that and chews him out, she gets shot WITH HIS OWN FUCKING CROSSBOW by Dwight, who he TRIED TO HELP AND FUCKED HIM OVER. Daryl’s anger over Dwight fucking him over and getting one of the few good people he believes exists killed sets Daryl off and he goes off on his own in anger to find Dwight and kill the bastard. But that gets Glenn out there with Michonne and Rosita. They can’t bring him back and Rosita and Daryl get captured with Glenn and Michonne. Then TF gets lined up and whose with the Saviors and WHO shot him? Dwight again. Dwight was a big reason that Negan knew about Daryl and his group. He was a part of the reason that Abe gets killed and while I don’t believe he was the main reason Negan killed Glenn - because Negan was WAY to happy to kill again, he just needed someone to pop off and thought it might be Rosita - and now another good person and HIS DEAR BEST FRIEND is bludgeoned to death like a rat before him and Daryl is swallowed in guilt. He’s scooped up by Negan and he’s tortured by the saviors AND Dwight. Dwight is the one who sleep deprives Daryl, shoves dog food at him, gets him beat up, and pushes him around like a dog. Daryl admits to Dwight that he gets why he did what he did, but that doesn’t square away everything that Dwight has done to him and his people.

So Daryl’s anger for Dwight - all lined up - makes sense and him not being able to see good people and being ready to just fucking murder all the saviors without care... It makes sense. And for awhile he had an ally with Rosita and Tara. But after loosing Sasha, Rosita started to see that her rage and anger were gonna get her killed. She wanted Dwight and Negan dead. But she wasn’t gonna run off to get herself killed or get others killed. Tara and Daryl were still ready for blood. Dwight’s blood... But Dwight had hos own journey and wanted to help take Negan down. Daryl knew that too or he wouldn’t have sent the letter to Dwight with the “Tomorrow” on it. Daryl keeping Dwight alive shows restraint on his mind set. But right now wasn’t the time to murder Dwight. The man was still gonna die but other pressing matters were on his mind... But Tara wasn’t there. She wants the man dead and Dwight knows that... But he still saves her. He was ready to sacrifice himself. But nobody had known about his betrayal to Negan so he now had a way back into the Saviors. He could save Tara, lead them away from TF and get back to help them while being on the enemy line. A line he knew well. And Tara saw all this. Dwight told her he wanted Negan dead and he showed her he was on their side by jmping out, ready to die.

But Daryl can’t see that. Dwight is only looking out for himself. All he does is get people killed because he’s bad and he deserves to die. It’s why he brings up Denise to Tara. To him, those that take from him - take his good people - deserve to die. We saw this with Dawn at Grady. Dawn “shot” - no she didn’t, it was someone else but sure let everyone believe it was Dawn - Beth down and Daryl - point blank - shot her down because one of his own - someone he loved whether in a romantic way or a friend - was just taken and shot down before him so he took care of who he saw got her killed. Daryl cared about Denise, he liked her, he was growing a true friendship with her and she believed in him protecting her... And Dwight killed her with his own weapon. That’s really heartbreaking for Daryl but it’s also a fuel to that rage of his. If Daryl loves you, he loves you forever. He loved Denise in a way just as he loved Abe in a way and loved Glenn in a way. Dwight helped get them killed so Dwight deserves to die. That’s how Daryl is right now. The Saviors get his good people killed, gets the ones he loves killed. They deserve to die. So he can’t see how Tara sees things... Because Tara is seeing herself in Dwight, seeing their similarities. Daryl probably feels betrayed about Tara seeming to be so easy to “square away” things with Dwight on what he’s taken from Tara. To him, that doesn’t resonate because Daryl is too angry. There’s Them and Us in Daryl’s book and Tara defending Dwight as an Us makes no sense.

So now Tara and Daryl are on different sides of one road.They’re both on the road to fight the Saviors. But Tara isn’t in the mindset to murder everyone. She’s ready to see a future. She doesn’t know what that future is yet, but she’s going to be able to see one where she’ll never forgive Dwight, but she believes he’s trying to help and is on their side. Daryl is on the rage and death side of the road against the Saviors. He’s with Rick. There is no future. Just death and destruction.

With Tara now being open eyed, her story can now move on to a future and helping lead to a true win for TF. That’s why I believe she is still a key player in this war. She is still a key to helping bring in Oceanside. I truly feel that... I could be wrong. I’ll accept that. But right now, Tara isn’t over yet. She’s gonna live and she’s gonna help the future. Her meeting Oceanside was leading to this. In the comic, Siddiq is the one who discovers Oceanside and the one who tells Rick about the community. Now Tara has taken this role and Siddiq is present to take over as medical help. In the comic, the Oceanside pretty much stay to themselves the whole time. I don’t believe this will be the same here. The Saviors took a lot from the women of Oceanside and now they have a chance to make them pay for that... But they need someone to help pull them in. Aaron and Tara can be that.

So no. Tara isn’t gonna die. I feel that much... I’ve been wrong before on characters, but I’m really hoping that ain’t the case now.

Overall I liked this episode. But this scene has been eating at me with Tara mentioning Merle and then Daryl not seeing Tara’s side and also because of everyone talking about how Tara is gonna die and people hating on her... I had a lot of thoughts to share.

Also, someone fucking slap Henry. Damn kid... Fuck.

On a TD note, I also personally feel that Tara and Siddiq are gonna be key players in finding Beth or a part of what brings Beth back. Call it a feeling I can’t really explain right now. But for awhile now, especially after Denise died, Ive felt that Tara is gonna be art of Beth’s return if she is returning and same with Siddiq.

[pocket-elf]

Beautiful Mistake, ch2

Pairing: Jace/Alec (Shadowhunters)

Rating: E

Summary: Human college AU, where Jace has very recently moved in to the flat Alec shares with a bunch of other students. Alec comes home drunk one night and well...

on AO3

Soooo, this took a turn. I meant to write a quick birthday thing for @sapphicalexandra, which turned longer than expected (chapter one is just under 1k, which I didn’t meant for). And then I just didn’t stop. Somehow I wrote more than 3k more. None of this was planned whatsoever. No bullet points or anything. So hey, I guess enjoy your smut you pervs XD

Chapter 2: Jace Jace’s POV of the night and the following morning, and where that leads... (sex, it leads to sex. This is pretty darn smutty okay?)

Jace was just about to drift off to sleep when he heard the front door bang open and then shut. He sighed and buried his face in one of his pillows. When he had moved in, about a week ago, he had gotten a good feeling about the other four people he shared the apartment with. One of the rules had even been no parties, so he had hoped this would be the perfect place for him to focus on his studies. Maybe even give him some piece of mind to write new songs. He had partied too hard the last year of high school, and wanted to leave that life behind. Maybe college wasn’t the best place for that but hey, he couldn’t exactly leave his education behind too. 

But maybe he had been wrong about his home for the semester. While flat parties might be prohibited, no one could stop people from coming home loud and drunk from other parties.

He could hear some muffled singing coming from the hallway, and then his door was pushed open. Jace hadn’t really thought about locking it, as respecting each other’s privacy was another key rule of the apartment. But here he was, about to fall asleep, naked as per usual, with an unknown guy stumbling into his room, and not so stealthily (but probably thinking he was) closing the door behind him.

Jace was about to protest when he finally saw who it was — Alec, the de facto leader of the household. Clearly drunk out of his mind, singing awfully out of tune, and… undressing. Right there. In front of Jace. With Jace stunned into absolute silence by the sight, there was no stopping this sloppy striptease from happening.

The day Jace had come by to see whethe) the apartment might be a good fit for him, and whether he would be a good new housemate for the ones already living there, he had been taken aback by the tall, dark, and utterly gorgeous, stranger sitting on a kitchen stool. He had introduced himself as Alec, and told Jace that they were looking for two new housemates. Questions had followed on majors (music and history), potential girlfriends or boyfriends (neither), pets (nope), affinities for parties and intoxicating substances (every now and then), etc etc. Jace had apparently aced the interview because the next day he was invited to move in. Since then, he hadn’t seen much of this Alec guy, whom he had pegged as gay pretty damn immediately, which to his surprise he found himself disappointed by. The not seeing him around, that is, not the gay bit. He was actually quite happy to have some more queer people around. But he figured Alec was probably a real hard study, who kept to himself and his books. And that was fine by Jace. He’d find other pretty people to hang out with on campus, even if he surely would’ve preferred to get to know Alec better. Much better.

So now that Alec was standing there, completely naked, all Jace could do was stare.

Wow.

Tall as nobody’s business. Lean but muscular. With dark hair Jace wanted to rake his hands through, and not only on his head… Just as Jace was about to snap out of it, Alec lifted the covers and slid into bed.

What… is… happening?

Alec didn’t say a word, and just curled up with his back snug against Jace’s chest, becoming the biggest little spoon Jace had ever had the pleasure to cuddle — voluntarily or not. Jace figured that Alec had absolutely no clue what he was doing, or that Jace was even there. He would never take advantage of someone who was even slightly drunk, so even if he wanted to run his hands all over that gorgeous body, Jace simply forced himself to relax and drift off to sleep.

At some point during the night, Alec had turned around, so that Jace awoke with his face mere inches from Alec’s. It was a breathtaking sight. He could feel Alec shift, and not wanting to ruin the moment or make things awkward in case Alec was indeed waking up, Jace chose to close his eyes again, pretending to still be asleep. But he couldn’t keep it up for long. When he opened them back up, Alec was definitely awake, looking around the room in horror. Yup, definitely a drunken mistake. He couldn’t help but smile as Alec focused on him, almost all colour draining from his face.

“Well, good morning.”

Alec sputtered, blushed, and somehow managed to pull the covers even more off Jace. Being rather proud of his body, and not being the least bit shy of pretty much anything, Jace just let it happen. Give that boy a good look! However, he was quite glad not everything was on display. It was morning, after all, and he had a smoking hot guy in his bed.

Said hot guy sure needed some reassuring, however — that he hadn’t embarrassed himself too much, or made Jace feel uncomfortable. But when he covered his face with a hand, asking Jace to forget about everything, Jace really couldn’t help himself. An opportunity had quite literally fallen into his lap and he couldn’t just let it, let him, go. So telling himself that no matter what happens, it would always be a chance worth taking, Jace stretched out a hand and hooked a few fingers around Alec’s palm, pulling it away from his face.

“What if…” Jace swallowed the nervous lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. “What if I don’t want to forget?”

“What do you mean?” Alec replied, seemingly partly confused, while also possibly a little bit turned on? Or was that just Jace projecting? But when Jace almost involuntarily scooted a little bit closer on the bed, and Alec’s reaction was to gasp slightly, and just stare at him, Jace knew he was on the right track.

“I liked what I saw.” Jace let his gaze drop to Alec’s beautiful pink lips. “I like what I see now.”

When Alec kept his lips parted, and didn’t move a muscle, just looking at Jace with eyes that clearly held some budding desire, Jace decided he couldn’t keep his hands to himself anymore. In one move he placed a hand on Alec’s waist, and pulled himself against Alec’s chest. His heart was racing, and he could feel Alec’s doing the same. Not caring about what Alec would think of his now evident erection, Jace hooked his legs around Alec’s. He was met with the sight of Alec’s eyes closing while he gasped even more audibly, his full lips forming a delicious O. And Jace couldn’t resist. He closed his own eyes and claimed Alec’s lips with his.

Jace was still holding the hand that he had pried off Alec’s face, but they were locked between them. Finally, Alec responded in earnest, slipping his hand out of Jace’s grasp, freeing his other hand that had been frozen in utter shock, and encircled Jace, pulling them even closer to each other.

Yes, Jace thought. Yes yes yes.

To his surprise, Jace found himself pushed onto his back with Alec on top. If he had doubted Alec’s feelings towards this whole situation they had found themselves in, any such doubt was swept away when Alec positioned his legs on either side of Jace’s, letting their erections press together. Cause yes, Alec sure seemed just as turned on by all of this as Jace was. Jace couldn’t help but moan, which only seemed to spur Alec to make little circles with his hips, creating more delicious friction between them. Then Alec seemed to catch himself, realising what he was doing, and stopped. Jace made a small whimpering sound as Alec broke contact with Jace’s lips and propped himself up on his elbows.

“Do you really want this?” Alec asked, doubt tinging his voice. “Aren’t you straight?”

Jace couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. “Do you seriously think I’m straight?” He put a hand on Alec’s ass and pressed them closer together, making sure Alec was very aware of the now almost painful erection Jace was sporting. “No. I am definitely not. I swing in all directions, and happily so.”

Now it was Alec’s turn to chuckle. “Yeah, I was just being stupid, I guess.”

“But I guess I should ask you, then. Do you really want this?” Jace added, trying not to wriggle against Alec’s stilled touch.

“I am very much gay, thank you very much.”

“Oh, I know that. I mean me. Do you want to do this with me? I haven’t even seen you since the day I moved in.” Jace’s breathing was returning to normal, but other parts of his body sure weren’t.

Alec looked at him with something resembling shock.

“I have wanted you since you first set foot in this apartment. You could’ve said almost anything in that interview, and I still would’ve let you move in. Almost. But I thought you weren’t into guys, so I kinda kept my distance to get my head straight, well... you know.” Alec blushed slightly.

“You are so… stupid.”

Jace hooked one leg over Alec’s, pulled his arms around him tight, and rolled them over, pinning Alec to the mattress. Any reply Alec could have to that, Jace silenced with a bruising kiss. To his delight, Alec simply gasped once Jace let go, starting to trail kisses along his jawline.

“You know… I was attracted to you the first time I saw you, too.” He whispered into Alec’s ear, fingers caressing the other side of his jaw and down the side of his neck. “Sitting on that kitchen stool, all in charge, with my future in your hands. Damn, I would’ve let you do so many things to me. Right there in the kitchen.”

Alec growled, and once again Jace found himself on his back. A battle for dominance, huh? Bring it on.

But Jace didn’t want to fight it. Not yet. This was just too good, and too arousing. Apparently, the thought of taking Jace on the kitchen table, or the sink, or what ever had popped up in Alec’s mind had really done the trick. He kissed Jace hard, tugging on his lower lip with his teeth, only to release and run his tongue over it. While not putting up a fight, Jace sure wouldn’t let himself remain passive. So he quickly met Alec’s tongue with his own, and then took it into his mouth, letting their lips melt against each other. One of his hands tangled in Alec’s hair, pulling a little to show that Alec hadn’t won after all. The other hand raked over Alec’s back — up and back down, to finish with a hard grip on his ass once again. Nails digging in, as Alec moved their cocks against each other with small thrusting movements.

“Wait, Alec, stop.” Jace breathed heavily against Alec’s cheek.

“What, why? I thought you said…” Alec’s movements slowed but didn’t stop.

“No no, I mean…” Jace had to take a deep breath to focus, letting go of Alec’s hair. He motioned towards his dresser. “Over there. I have… lube and condoms. Just get it.”

“Oh…” Alec gave Jace a final kiss and climbed off, making sure to trail two light fingers over Jace’s cock as he did so. Jace shuddered and pressed his head back down on the pillow, gulping for air.

Alec quickly found Jace’s stash. It wasn’t as if he was hiding it or anything. Coming back to the bed, Alec seemed to have lost some of his dominating spirit. He sat down next to Jace, eyes questioning yet still perfectly dark with desire.

“Who…” he asked.

Well, this is my chance, I guess, Jace thought, smirking a little while sitting up. “Give it to me,” he said, stretching out his hands. “And lie down.”

Alec did as he was told, the sudden role reversal seemingly turning him on just as much as the thought of bending Jace over the kitchen table.

This will be a fun year… Jace thought as he straddled Alec’s thighs.

He gave Alec’s cock a few teasing tugs before slipping the condom on. Alec gasped and bit down on his lower lip.

Didn’t expect that, did you? Jace thought as he leaned over to kiss Alec deeply. He was met by eager lips, and hands caressing his back.

Straightening up a bit again, Jace expertly flicked the bottle of lube open and covered the fingers on his right hand. He reached back and slipped a slick finger into his opening, gasping slightly as he felt the finger easily sink in. Alec, in turn, arched up to kiss him once more, and Jace could feel one of Alec’s hands caress along his right arm, and finally join the hand teasing his ass, only to still Jace’s movement.

“Let me,” Alec said, his voice husky with desire.

Jace slipped his finger out, and, as Alec scooted up to a sitting position, Jace made sure to lube Alec’s fingers up real good, too. Then he leaned against Alec’s shoulders, legs spread wide, and waited.

He didn’t have to wait long. Alec placed his left hand on Jace’s ass, holding him steady while also opening him up more. He didn’t enter Jace right away. Instead, he let one of his fingers tease around the rim, making Jace’s legs shake already.

“Please,” Jace breathed against Alec’s cheek, and was rewarded with the sensation of not one, but two fingers entering him. He took in a sharp breath. “Fuck!” he moaned. The sensation of Alec slowly pumping his fingers in and out, twirling and stretching as he did so, was overwhelming. Jace sagged a little against Alec, who just kept going, while adding a tongue to Jace’s neck. It was simply too much.

Jace moved back a bit, forcing Alec to pull out. With two hands on Alec’s waist, Jace pulled him back down into a lying position.

“I’m in charge,” he whispered into Alec’s ear before sitting up.

Jace was braced on his knees, no part of him touching any of Alec’s. Not yet. And Alec didn’t move. He might’ve wanted to be in control before, but Jace had him now. And he thought that maybe, Alec knew what was coming next. Because, as Jace positioned himself over Alec’s erection, warm hands grabbed on to his waist but didn’t try to move him. Alec simply rested them there, steading Jace as he finally lowered himself down, taking all of Alec into him. They both let out a sigh as Jace settled against Alec’s hips.

It had been long since Jace had felt this full, and it was exhilarating. He could feel Alec stretching him, and it felt so damn good. So he just sat there for a while, revelling in the sensation while also getting used to Alec’s size. And Alec, he just looked at him with a mix of devotion and unadulterated lust.

Then, Jace started moving. First just small circular motions, without any real vertical motion. And yet, it drew a moan of pleasure from Alec. Not waiting for more incentive, Jace started to lift himself up, almost slipping Alec out of him, before coming back down. He kept his movements slow, and his body upright, giving his thighs one hell of a workout. But if all workouts were like this, he would never skip leg day.

Alec’s fingers dug into his sides, and Jace thought he might end up bruised tomorrow, which he didn’t mind one bit. As Jace’s legs started shaking from a mix of effort and pleasure, Alec took over some of the command, essentially lifting Jace up and guiding him back down on his cock. As they picked up speed together, Jace’s breathing did, too. Panting, he fell forward, supporting himself with hands placed just below Alec’s chest. But as the orgasm built he couldn’t even hold himself up like that, and let his arms slide to Alec’s sides, slumping down onto his elbows.

Jace let Alec take over completely, lifting his lower half up up and pushing him back down. But with his face now almost resting on Alec’s chest, Jace found himself in the perfect position to tease Alec’s nipples. He grazed them with his teeth, making Alec inhale sharply, but immediately soothed the area with a warm tongue. He knew it worked on him, and was sure it’d be just as pleasurable for Alec. The increased speed at which Alec now met his movement with thrusts of his own, told Jace he was right in that assessment.

He barely had time to lick circles around the second nipple when he felt his insides contract, and an intense orgasm explode through, and out of, him. He didn’t scream or shout out, but instead let out a big breath carrying a groan. And, not long after, Alec’s head shot back and he didn’t hold back at all.

“FUCK!” Alec exclaimed.

Jace laughed against the wiry hairs of Alec’s chest. “That we sure did.”

Once Alec caught his breath, he laughed, too. “And we did it well, if I may say so myself.”

Jace rolled off Alec with a satisfied smile playing on his lips. He scooted up, turned his face, and kissed Alec on the cheek.

“Yes, you may,” he said, resting his head against Alec’s shoulder. This wasn’t how he had imagined the outcome of a drunk flatmate crawling into bed with him, not at all. But oh, was he happy it had been.

They both laughed, snuggling into each other. But as the sweat quickly cooled on their naked bodies, and the high of the orgasm started to fade, Jace couldn’t really lie still anymore.

“Hey… I think we both need a shower,” he said lightly.

“Mhm, yeah, you’re right. You were… kinda messy.” Alec laughed and looked down at their bodies, and Jace followed his gaze. Their legs were still partly tangled and Alec was right, Jace had made quite a mess.

“I guess you should go take a shower first and take care of that condom.” He winked, and was pleased to see Alec blushing ever so slightly.

“Sure, okay. Can I uh… borrow this sheet for a bit?” Alec asked as he stood up.

Jace just laughed and lifted a part of the coupled cover sheet as an offering. Alec quickly wrapped it around him, and then flipped a loose part over his shoulder. A few toga parties huh? Jace mused inwardly, but didn’t say anything.

Before Alec opened the door he turned back to Jace, a wicked glint in his eyes. “You know… I think the girls are already at morning yoga, and the other new guy tends to sleep till noon, apparently. So, you could join me in the shower…”

Jace could feel his cock react to that idea immediately. As if they hadn’t had enough fun already. He swallowed and grinned.

“I… might take you up on that offer. Just let me find a towel and I’ll be right behind you.”

Alec opened the door, but just as he was about to close it he popped his head back in. “Well, I guess welcome to the apartment!” He winked and left.

As the door closed behind Alec, Jace fell back against the pillows. He couldn’t stop smiling. Welcome indeed.

[tmntreasures]

Back Together (Donatello)

A continuation of the Breakup Prompt.

Prompt:

    You were one of the lucky few who had managed to land a job within six months of graduating. Though it was not exactly in your field for now, the more you worked your way up, the closer to your goal you would be. Even better, the job was located back in New York. After a month and a half, you finally felt settled in your new but familiar home. There was just one thing that lingered over you: how to tell your mutant ex that you were back.

Donatello:

     The light radiating from the computer screens reflected off his glasses; for the first time, the light felt too bright, making Donatello remove the spectacles from his face. His hand began to massage his face and the bridge of his snout as he continued to process what he just read. Doubt crawled through his nerves but his rational thinking brought his fingers back to life. Within minutes he was running multiple scans over the message, making sure they were sent from the correct address and that the writing patterns matched yours. Everything came back positive, proving that you had indeed sent him the note.

     Hey Donatello!

     I graduated a couple of months ago (finally) and you wouldn't believe it. I actually managed to land a job! But it gets even better: the job is in New York! I'm already moved into my new apartment.

     I'd really like it if you would stop by tonight at 10 pm. I've got a picture attached of the place; I circled which one is my balcony. Oh, and the actual address is on the picture too in case that's better.

     I understand if you don't want to come over; I just wanted to talk to you about a couple of things. At the very least, I thought you had a right to know I was back in town.

     Hope I see you tonight.

     His eyes ran over the words multiple times, still in disbelief that you had bothered to contact him. During your three year absence he had kept tabs on your social media pages. Not once did he contact you, no matter how distressing some of your statuses had been; but you had asked him not to leave an electronic trail for anyone to follow and he had respected that.

     During your first summer break, you made a post that left Donatello heart broken. You began a relationship with a human boy, and even though it only lasted a couple of months, it still left the mutant turtle in a state of sorrow. You had moved on, and so quickly too. Once his grief was replaced with anger, he dug up every piece of dirt he could on this boy. Unfortunately the college kid had no criminal record, but he did have a rather questionable search history.

     “Damn it. Damn it. Damn it,” he chewed on his nails as he stared at the screen displaying the dirt he had dug up.

     For weeks he debated whether he should leak the sensitive information online for you to see. It might not have been any of his business, but you should at least have a right to know your new boyfriend had quite a long list of fetishes. Most of them were ones Donatello knew you wouldn't be into. The only upside would be that the boy would be publicly shamed and you might even break up with him.

     Luckily for the strange boy, Leonardo intervened before Donatello could submit anything. “What are you doing Donnie?” The blue-clad ninja had asked with crossed arms.

     Donatello jumped at the sound of his brother's voice and he quickly turned the screen off, hoping he hadn't seen any of it. “N-nothing! Just uh, keeping track of police scanners. Nothing interesting yet though. I'll be sure to uh, keep you posted,” he tried to act like he was busy, hoping his brother would leave. Leonardo shook his head and sauntered over to the wall of monitors, turning on the one he had just switched off. His cool blue eyes scanned over the list, “So this is what you found out about the guy?”

     Surprise made Donatello turn to face him quickly. “H-how do you know?” He looked down at him with a sympathetic smile and nodded at the screens. “You've been leaving your work open lately.”

     An aggravated groan rumbled in Donatello's throat and he thumped a fist against his forehead. Of course. He had been so flustered with the news of your new boyfriend that he wasn't keeping the right things hidden from his brothers. He was surprised that Michelangelo hadn't said anything yet, but perhaps Raphael had threatened him enough to keep his mouth shut.

     “Listen Donnie,” Leonardo started, walking over to where he was sitting. “I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, but you can't hold on to this. Not anymore.”

     He knew his older brother was right, he always was. But his heart still screamed for you; and his mind still conjured thoughts of your gorgeous smile and your beautiful eyes. Just the thought of someone else experiencing your beauty made his blood boil.

     “You don't think I know that?” Donatello snapped but took a deep breath as soon as the words had left him. It wasn't Leonardo's fault, he reminded himself. Once he had regained his composure he continued, “I just...wasn't expecting them to move on so fast.”

     Leonardo frowned and looked at the screen, trying to decide what words would be best to use. “I don't think any of us did,” he admitted. “But if this will make them happy, wouldn't you want that?”

     The purple-clad turtle took his glasses off to wipe at his misty eyes. “Of course. I just thought it'd be me making them happy...” He clenched his jaw and tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. A hand squeezed his shoulder comfortingly and he patted at it.

     “I know Donnie,” Leonardo said quietly. “I know how much they meant to you. But if you still have any love for them, you won't reveal that boy's secrets.”

     The endearment he was feeling for his brother quickly disappeared. It wasn't the advice he was looking for, but his older brother was right. You were simply living your life. Who was he to decide who you should or shouldn't date? After all, you had made it very clear that you and the giant mutant turtle were done.

     Donatello did not notice his brother leave until he tried to thank him. When he returned his attention to his set-up, his eyes focused on the light-up USB you had given him before your departure. Just looking at the multi-colored plastic turtle sent him in a fury he had never felt before. He snatched it out of the port and threw it as hard as he could. He heard the plastic make impact with something soft before it landed on the concrete floor.

     Tears began to trickle down his face and the lump in his throat refused to budge. Sniffles turned to sobs and the mutant buried his face into his palms, finally letting out all of his jealousy and grief. After he could not cry any longer, he sat silently in his chair; his eyes never leaving the monitor that showed the boy's secrets. Never before had his fingers felt so heavy as he reached forward to delete the information. He let out a shaky breath and leaned back, closing his eyes as he tried to empty out his mind.

     Minutes passed and he finally opened his eyes, rolling his head to look at the tower that once housed the turtle-shaped USB. He missed the little light and got up to look for the device, hoping it had not shattered on impact. Luckily for him, it was still intact and he plugged it back into the computer, watching as the plastic turtle slowly changed colors.

     After that he stayed off of your pages for months; it wasn't until curiosity got the best of him that he checked your page again. This time, he saw that you and the other human had broken up. He had never felt so relieved to see a relationship fail before and you had not picked up anymore relationships after that.

     But even that bittersweet victory did not stop his emotions from battling each other when it came to you. There were nights where he would weep at the memory of you and long for the warmth of your body against his. Then there were days where he would recall every argument you two had and he would loathe you. For two years he tried to balance his feelings, requesting extra help from Splinter on particularly bad days. Eventually he was able to come to the calming conclusion that although he still had feelings for you, if you had moved on then it was out of his control. He just wished he could find someone else to move on with.

    All of those emotions he thought he had under control suddenly ran rampant after reading your message. He had always taken pride in his rational way of handling things, but when it came to you his heart took full control and kicked his mind to the curb. He couldn't decide if he was angry or ecstatic that you had contacted him. When he couldn't calm himself he turned off the computers and began to meditate.

     He took a deep breath in. Then released a long exhale. Another inhale, another exhale.

     The process went on until he was finally calm enough to use his mind properly and examine the situation. On the one hand, it would be terrifying to go; the meeting could lead to more heartbreak after all. But it did sound like you wanted to talk in the note, so this could be his chance to get some closure on a few things. In the end, it would be much better for him, emotionally, if he visited you.

     Donatello made sure to download the picture you had attached in the note and prepared himself for tonight.

-----

     This meeting you arranged with Donatello was your chance to get back with him. It had been your intention the moment you accepted the job in New York. There had been better opportunities offered to you; better benefits, a nice retirement plan, and a few of them were in cheap living areas too. But none of them had him.

     Your first year of college had been terrifying; your family tried to make you feel at ease, but the new environment and stress of the assignments were not the problem. You missed the giant mutant turtle more than you thought you would have. There were nights where you just sat in your room and hugged your pillow, wishing you could hear him talk about whatever new device he had created or geek out with him over your hobbies. Sleeping had proven to be difficult as well, for no matter how many blankets you threw on your bed it always felt so cold.

     When your final grades had come back, you noticed they were not as great as you had wanted them to be. You knew the problem too; you missed Donatello and it was prohibiting you from focusing on school work. That was when you had the idea to start another relationship with someone.

     You had figured the companionship would at least ease your mind enough to get through tough projects and study nights. That was why you had gotten with the boy during your first summer break; however, your plan had backfired. Instead of getting over Donatello, you did nothing but compare the boy to your New York lover. This distraction was not nearly as tall, muscular, or smart as the mutant ninja. He did not get your jokes or your quirks; and he especially did not understand how reading in the same room counted as 'hanging out'.

     Never in a hundred years did you ever think you would have more in common with a teenage mutant ninja turtle instead of another human being. It was then that you realized no one could ever replace the intelligent reptile and you broke up with your summer fling after only a couple of months of dating. Luckily the break up was as smooth as break ups get and you were finally given time to cope with your grief.

     During your sophomore year, you finally had a breakthrough: You were always going to miss him, but if you managed to do well in college then you were more likely to go back to New York and be reunited with him. It was that little hope that drove you to do so well in your classes. It had been hard, and there were nights where you stared at a wall for hours after having a breakdown and wondered if you actually could do all of this. All you had to do was think about that goofy smile of his and gave yourself a pep-talk before you finally went back to the grind.

     All of your hard work had paid off and here you were, in your very own New York apartment. It was small, of course, and you could hear the neighbors if they ever decided to raise their voices, but it was yours. The only thing missing was Donatello.

     As the time grew closer to ten, your body began to shake and your heart raced in a combination of nervousness and excitement. Multiple scenarios ran through your head, some good and some bad. You truly hoped he would still care about you at least, but it would be devastating if he hated you. After all, all of your hard work had been for this moment. If he turned you down, even to be friends, you weren't sure what you would do.

     The tapping noise startled you out of your thoughts and made you snap your attention to the balcony window. Just the sight of his lean silhouette made your heart race and your legs weak. You made sure to take careful steps, afraid you would trip and fall if you went too fast.

     “Hey!” You greeted him in a shaky voice once you opened the window. Your cheeks began to burn from how hard you were smiling.

     Just the sight of you again made his emotions run wild; his heart raced with love and his gut twisted in grief once he recalled your ex. “H-hi,” He started.      You leaned against the frame, trying to cut through the awkwardness. “So...how have you been?”

    He wanted nothing more than to release all of his grief and anger out on you the moment the question left your lips. It was so bad it made his stomach burn; but instead he took in a deep breath and spoke as calmly as he could. “I-I've been alright. Fighting bad guys, making firewalls. The usual.”

     He saw you frown when he mentioned firewalls and he mentally smacked himself. That had been his primary argument to use against you when you had broken the news to him three years ago. He thought if he could make an impenetrable firewall for you and your family, then the two of you could at least sustain a long-distance relationship without alerting any enemies.

     Despite how he had initially felt when he saw you, he still felt guilty when the pain crossed your face. He smiled weakly and nodded, “So uh, can I come in? Might suck if someone sees me hanging out back here.” He chuckled nervously.

     “Oh! Y-yeah,” You stepped aside and let him in, closing the window behind him.“Do you want some tea?” You offered, already making your way to the kitchen. You figured a beverage would be a good way to ease the tension in the air.

     “Sure,” He watched as you began to heat up the stove and fill the kettle with water. Every move you made he took in as his mind tried to decide if this was a dream. For a moment, all of his negativity was washed away and all he could feel were butterflies in his stomach. He sat down on the bar stool and leaned forward, his brown eyes darting as they followed every movement and jerk your limbs made. None of his dreams could compare to what he saw now. Your hair was the perfect length, your skin was the perfect shade, and your eyes shimmered perfectly, and your smile...

     Words could not compare just how wonderful it was to see you smile at him again.

     The screeching kettle jarred him out of his thoughts and made him sit up straight. He watched you pour the boiling water into two mugs. There was a big smile on your face as you handed him his cup, making him look down to see what it was. The mug started off black, but as the heat began to engulf its curved walls, tetris blocks began to appear. He smiled as memories of the two of you playing the retro game filled his mind.

     “I'm surprised you still have this,” He held it up by the handle, not daring to take a sip yet.

     You shrugged and leaned against the other side of the bar. “Of course I do. It's my favorite mug,” you smiled, remembering how delighted he had been to see your reaction when you finally saw the blocks show up for the first time. Donatello had given it to you on your birthday and you did your best to use it every chance you could.

     There was not a moment to lose, however. The reason why you invited him over crossed your mind and you figured it was now or never. After all, more small talk could come later after the two of you worked out your relationship.

     “Donnie, you know I invited you here for a reason,” you started a little hesitantly at first, but gained confidence after every word. “And I'm just going to say it. I want to get back together.”

     Any trace of frustration he had was replaced with concern and doubt. Of course he wanted to accept your offer, but the only thing that made him hesitate was your ex. Even though it had been a short-lived relationship, you still had had a taste of a normal life with a normal boyfriend. The two of you no doubt had gone to see a movie, eaten dinner in a public place, and stroll about the world freely. No matter how much he wished, Donatello would never be able to give you a fraction of that life. That was why he hesitated. He was terrified that later on, you would long for that experience again; the only experience he could never give you. And if you were to end it again, he wasn't sure how it may affect him. This first breakup had been devastating for him and he didn't want to go through that again.

     As much as he wanted to say 'yes', he stopped himself. “Are...you sure?” He asked.

     The question made you frown in confusion. “Of course! I love you Donatello,” you reached forward and touched his hand with a smile.

     The answer made him tense. He could feel his heart clench at the words. For three years he wanted nothing more than to hear you utter them again. But there was a sour taste in his mouth as doubt began to crawl around his mind. When he heard those words, all he could think about was the other boy you had met, and he wondered if you ever told him the same thing.

     “You're positive?” He pressed again.

     At the second question you could feel your heart drop. Why wasn't he accepting your proposal? Did he really hate you? The possibility made your body shake nervously, making you lick your lips. “Yes! I am.”

     There was a long silence and he narrowed his eyes at you. “And you're sure you want to do this again? With me?”

     You finally pulled away from him and scoffed, getting aggravated. “Yes, Donnie! That's why I'm asking you! Why are you asking that?”

     “Because you already know what a normal relationship is like!” He finally snapped. The moment the words left his mouth he winced, regretting it when he saw your expression.

     You stared at him in a mixture of skepticism and betrayal. “And what's that supposed to mean?” You asked, wondering if you even wanted the answer. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat before admitting his crime. “I know because...I saw it on your social page.”

     “You were stalking me?” You asked in disbelief.

     “I wanted to make sure you were doing okay!” He defended himself before huffing. “And apparently you were.”

     The words stabbed you like a knife, making the tears roll down your face. “I only dated him because I missed you!”

     He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “See, that's not fair. You can move on and try to forget, but I can't!” The tears shimmered brightly, even behind his glasses. “You have billions of people you can pick from to help you, but I'm forced to deal with your ghost.” He sniffled and yanked his glasses off, tossing them onto the counter. “I missed you so much! And you moved on so quickly...” He covered his eyes and swallowed back the sobs. “Did I mean anything to you? Ever?” He managed to get out, not daring to look at you.

     Never before had your gut contorted so painfully as you listened to his words and watched him break down. You didn't think about how the relationship would look to him. Although the two of you had already separated when you started dating the boy, and therefore technically making it none of Donatello's business, you still felt guilty. “D-Donatello,” You whimpered, wiping the tears from your cheek as you continued. “My grades dropped the first year because I couldn't stop thinking about you.”

     His sniffling began to die down as you spoke and he finally began to listen. “I missed you so much it affected my work!” Your heart raced as you explained, hoping he would understand. “I thought...I just needed someone around and I would feel better. But it just got worse.” Your shoulders began to droop and your eyes lowered in shame. “I never felt anything for him ever because he wasn't you.” You grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I've always loved you Donatello. You're the reason I'm back here. You're the reason I graduated and why I worked my ass off to get good grades. So yes, you meant more than just something to me. You mean everything to me.”

     Your words began to soothe his aching heart and he slowly lifted his head. He stared at you, his mask stained with tears and eyes red. “I can't give you a normal life,” He admitted with a quivering voice. “Whatever you were able to do with him, I could never try to do with you,” he shrugged his shoulders.

     “All of the things I could do with you, I couldn't do with him,” You told him, your thumb rubbing his hand. “He never wanted to read with me. He didn't like our favorite shows. And he didn't know the difference between 'their', 'there', and 'they’re'.” You chuckled a little, hoping the giant mutant would crack a smile.

     He snorted and shook his head. “Well...you always knew how to pick really crappy boyfriends,” He finally joked and managed a weak smile.

     Your heart raced when you saw him lift his other hand to place on top of yours. “If anyone's crappy it's me,” You returned the smile and sighed. “I'm so sorry Donatello.”

     “It's okay.” At the words he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. Finally, he had gotten his closure and his stomach began to untie itself. “It's okay.”

     Hearing those words sent relief throughout your body and the stabbing guilt began to dissipate. Your hand snaked out of his grip so you could wipe the tears off his skin. Your eyes locked the moment you began to caress his cheek and time seemed to stop, if only for a second. Very slowly the two of you inched forward, stopping only until your lips brushed against each other. It was a gentle kiss, but it was enough to let him know you were his, and he was yours.

     Immediately you began to cry, the last of your guilt spilling out as tears and choked sobs. You pushed your palms against your eyes in a poor attempt to stop the tears but it seemed useless. Instantly, Donatello got out of his seat and walked around the bar to be at your side.

     He wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly as you cried into his hard body. “It's okay,” he said comfortingly as he rested his cheek on top of your head.

     “I'm s-so -suh-sorry...!” You said between sobs.

     “I know,” he said, holding back his own tears. “I'm sorry too.”

     Finally you finished crying and pulled away. He walked away only to bring back a box of tissues. You happily took a couple to clean your face off and took deep breaths to calm yourself down.

     “Better?” He asked, putting a hand on your shoulder.

     You nodded and looked up at him with a smile. “I am now that you're here,” even though you knew it was a cheesy line, it was the truth. The smile that appeared on the turtle's face made you hug him before placing a long kiss on his lips.

     At the feeling of your intimate gesture his hands grabbed your waist to hold you gently in place. When the two of you finally parted he nodded. “So this is okay? You and me that is?” He asked, wanting to make sure you were certain about this one last time.

     The smile on your face grew and your heart raced. “Always,” you nodded. “I missed you too much Donnie. I won't leave you like that ever again.”

     The little promise made, washed away any remaining doubt he had about your intentions. He wrapped an arm around you and lead you to the living room. “C'mon. We got a lot of catching up to do.”

     You followed him, feeling as if you were on cloud nine. “Yeah we do.”

[sherlockrelatedimagines]

Nothing Better to Do- Part 2

Here’s the second part of that long thing I posted a couple of days ago. I have genuinely no idea what I’m gonna do for the rest of it, but I also feel the onset of writer’s block so we’ll see.  Anyways, please enjoy?  -Mrs. Holmes xx (Read part one here) Warnings: Some curse words, lots of self-pity, the norm for this story. 

You stared at him, breathing speeding up with the anxiety of the situation. You don't know why you were so nervous, maybe the fact that you were alone and you were gonna be forced to talk to him. You thought you had wanted to speak to him, rather intensely actually, but as you stood there, dumbfounded, you realized how much you definitely did not want to speak with him. “W-We’re closed,” You stumbled over your words, swallowing nervously as you saw him raise an eyebrow. “I can see that from the sign, but the unlocked door says otherwise.” He retorted, smooth, deep voice causing your heart rate to increase at an alarming rate. “I always forget to lock it,” You muttered, feeling like an idiot, but not really having anything else to say. “I can see that, your friend even left you a note,” The man said, gesturing to the area behind you.

You turned around swiftly, spotting a sticky note attached to a coffee maker that reminded you to actually lock the shop once you left, all in Jill’s curly handwriting. You brushed your short hair behind your ear, a habit of nervousness. Considering you were nervous as hell right now, it was a predictable move on your part. “Since this is a coffee shop, could I have a coffee? I was busy today and didn't get one.” He asked, sounding slightly annoyed. You furrowed your eyebrows, turning around again to see him already seated at a table near the counter. How could he be the one who was annoyed? He did just practically burst into your place of work and demand you to do something you weren't technically being paid to do at this hour. “I- I suppose,” You remarked, giving him a glance over. You tried not to stare at him for long, eyes trailing over his expression and body with ease. He looked quite fit, but you were trying not to notice that. Instead, your eyes fell upon the small cut on his cheekbone, barely there really, and the bruise that was forming underneath. “Would you stop staring at me?” It wasn't a teasing question, it was actually quite biting. You didn't think your eyebrows could furrow anymore, but alas. What an asshole. Clearly, you had created some sort of romanticized version of who this stranger might be and clearly, he wasn't it. The farthest from it actually. You were hoping for some sort of romantic epiphany or maybe even a friendship epiphany, but instead, all you got was a cold stare. “You're bleeding,” You said shortly, turning on your heel to make him his damned coffee. You weren't even sure why you were still making it, you should be kicking him out. But, as you said, you were lonely and there was hope yet, despite how minuscule it seemed. He hummed, sounding only slightly surprised. “Suppose I am,” He remarked, not seeming bothered. You wanted to ask him why he was bleeding, why he didn't care about it, and why he was in your shop, but you kept your lips firmly shut as a tense silence filled the room. “You know,” His voice, arrogant voice, filled the room again. You tried not to sigh. You really didn't need him to ruin this further for you, this whole fantasy you had worked up about him. “I thought you would have asked about the bleeding, maybe offer me a bandage or something.” He sounded irritated. Him. He sounded irritated. You could have screamed at him, he definitely didn't have the right to be irritated. Your entire view of him was being torn down, along with your dignity, if anyone should be irritated it should be you. “I thought you would've been nicer,” You muttered under your breath, quiet enough so you thought he wouldn't hear you. You quickly realized you hadn't responded, so you settled for, “The cut really isn't that big,” He let out a scoff, a quiet one. “Don't you want to know why I'm bleeding?” He continued. You had been placing the sugars into his mug, but you froze once you heard his words. Who the hell did he think he was? “Why would I want to know?” You asked, sounding a bit defensive. You had turned, mug in hand as you narrowed your eyes at him. The look he gave back to you was one of a challenge. “Why wouldn't you?” You tilted your head slightly, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from releasing a tirade of angry and offensive words not fit for a customer. Because that's all he was, a customer. “I'm afraid I'm busy. I actually have to get going soon. Would you mind if I gave you your drink to go?” You asked, coming up with a lie on the spot. Of course, you weren't actually busy, if you counted writing some story you'd never finish as busy. Oddly enough, his eyebrows furrowed as his eyes fell down to the mug in your hand. “You're lying,” He commented easily, eyes looking back up to yours. You blinked, his expression similar to stone as you tried not to panic. “I'm not, I have to meet my parents for dinner.” You told him, standing your ground. He let out something that resembled a chuckle and you felt your blood rising in temperature. “It's nearly 10, dinner’s been over for hours.” He countered. “They're waiting for me. We always have it late to fit my schedule, which is why I really must go.” You continued on, staring him down. You were not going to lose to this man, maybe you were trying to prove a point. Ok, definitely you were trying to prove a point. You were better than this man, better than the fantasy you had built up. Stronger. “Mm, no.” He said definitively. He smirked at you. He fucking smirked at you. You could have punched him. And then it dawned on you, he had been punched! Right on the cheekbone too, which explained the forming bruise and broken skin. It looked rather painful. You didn't feel that bad for him, though, judging by the small encounter you were having he probably deserved it. “Well, whether you believe me or not, I’d like to go.” You said finally, hoping he would just accept that you wanted out of here and he would never come back. You turned quickly, not allowing him to stare at you with a patronizing smirk any longer. Instead, you grabbed a to-go cup and poured his coffee into it. You found yourself wishing you had heated the liquid up a bit more, maybe burn his tongue as a sign of revenge. “It's not that I don't believe you,” He began, causing you to almost groan in annoyance as you turned around again. You faced him, styrofoam cup in hand and an eyebrow raised in a mix of annoyance and challenge. “It's that I know for a fact you're lying,” He finished, sounding like the most pompous asshole you think you'd ever encountered. You would have told him this, but you really never were one for direct confrontation. Instead, you let out a huff of annoyance and walked past the counter to make your way to his table. “That's really lovely for you, but I'm going to be leaving no matter what.” You said, smiling falsely as you placed the coffee on his table. He looked a bit surprised, people must not stand up to him frequently. His eyebrows furrowed like you had offended him and he narrowed his eyes accusatorily. “Don't you want to know how I know you're lying?” He asked, sounding genuinely confused that you hadn't asked that question. Actually, the question hadn't crossed your mind. You just wanted to get the hell out. You rolled your eyes, turning your back on him and walking to employee’s quarters to grab your things. “I've always been a bad liar,” You responded, shrugging. He did not seem to like this answer, considering he had gotten from his seat and was following you into the locker room for the workers. You would have been scared, you probably should have been scared, but the only emotion you could feel inside of you right now was annoyance. “That's not something that's easy to tell,” He defended, footsteps trailing behind yours as you went over to your locker. You opened it with ease, untying the apron from around your waist. As you did so, you gave the man a look of disbelief. “It really is,” You argued. He looked taken aback, dumbfounded really. “Well, I could tell by your necklace.” He continued, watching as you grabbed your bag from inside of your locker and shut it quickly afterward. There was a flash of surprise in your eyes, but you battled it with the same look of annoyance you'd been wearing ever since he opened his mouth. He smirked at this, clearly not missing it. He waited a couple of seconds, expectantly. Like he was hoping you'd ask how he had figured it out. But, it turned out you didn't have to ask how he did it because he was already rambling away an explanation. “You see, the necklace is real gold and in the shape of a heart. It's expensive, judging by the name of the seller that's etched on the back. Sure, a husband or fiancé could have given a gift that was of that monetary value, but your left-hand lacks a ring, all of your hands lack rings. A boyfriend wouldn't go through the trouble of saving up to purchase a gift such as that, so easy deduction: Parents.” Throughout his whole speech, you had been tuning him out, silently drifting away from the sound of his voice and focusing on the annoyed ramblings of your own mind. He had followed you as he spoke, watching you as you almost forgot about the sticky note on the coffee machine, and then watching as you took it off and then made your way over to the set of keys behind the counter. He even did as much to follow you to the door, which you had opened. You looked at him expectantly, hoping that your expression was portraying the right amount of “Get the hell out of my shop,” and “I hate your pompous guts,” “Are you good to go now?” You asked him after he hadn't made a move to go through the door which you were holding open. His eyes flooded with realization, “Did you listen to anything I said?” He asked, sounding accusing. “Was I supposed to?” You challenged, giving him a scowl. His eyes widened with shock and offense, “I just gave you a whole explanation!” He exclaimed. “I didn't ask for one,” You countered, throwing another false smile his way. He looked beyond agitated, almost as agitated as you felt. “Now, please, leave the shop.” You demanded lightly, gesturing to the open door with your free hand. He narrowed his eyes at you, looking scandalized as he finally followed your wishes. You nodded your head to him as thanks, exiting the shop as well and closing the door behind you before locking it with precision. You didn't bother turning around, under the belief that the man had walked away and you were finally free. You let out a deep breath, slipping the keys into your purse and walking down the street. “So, your name is Spencer?” You heard the same, deep, pretentious voice invade your mind once again. “Oh, for God’s-! Is that my wallet?” You had turned instantly upon hearing him, exclaiming as you had a right to do, and then spotting him not only following you but holding your leather wallet in his hands. “Yep,” He said, putting emphasis on the “p” which made you want to punch him more. “How the hell-? You know what, don't explain, just give my wallet.” You sighed, not wanting him to follow you for even longer just to give another long winded explanation. You put your hand out expectantly, staring at him icily as the two of you stood on the deserted sidewalk. “Spencer isn't really a girl name,” He commented, handing you over your wallet nonetheless as you glared at him. “Yeah? Well, what's your name then?” You asked, your arsenal of insults ready to attack whatever boring, asshole sounding name he was destined to have. “Sherlock,” Your eyes widened, “Well that isn't really a name for anyone,” You retorted, still surprised by the odd name. Your eyebrows furrowed when you saw his reaction, a small chuckle had passed his lips. He didn't say anything else on it, though, but annoyingly enough, continued on speaking. “You think you'd take a taxi to get to your dinner,” He muttered, hands in the pockets of his Belstaff as you narrowed your eyes at him. Who wears a coat during summer? “I thought we already established I was lying about that,” You said, not really asking, just stating the facts. The smallest of smirks remained on his lips, “So you admit you were lying?” He said it like he was winning something, some sort of game he believed you to be playing. “I admit that I was trying to get rid of you,” You responded, not getting reactions of offense out of him anymore by your harsh words. He just looked a bit amused, which was effectively pissing you off more. “What a good job you've done,” He commented, still looking smug. You rolled your eyes, turning your back to him and carrying on walking as if he wasn't there. This did nothing to deter him, actually, he seemed to follow you quicker. You probably should have been afraid, you definitely should have been afraid, but something about him seemed not at all threatening. Sure, he was following you and had shown up at your place of work, but you felt like you knew him. Even though he was getting on your last nerve, you didn't see any reason to kick him to the curb quite yet. Besides, you had a nice banter going on, why ruin it? Ok, so, you sounded pathetic, keeping someone around because you wanted someone to talk to even though you hated them. But, it was quite common to do that and what harm could be done? It was probably just the fantasy that you had created about him remaining inside of your subconscious, but your common sense had yet to fully take over and act on getting him away from you. “Are you going to follow me all the way home?” You asked him, realizing he had been following you the whole time you had been silently walking down the street. You didn't bother to stop walking or turn to see him. “I just want to see if my deductions are correct,” He told you like that was a completely normal sentence. You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him once more. “I'm sorry, deductions?” You questioned, giving him a concerned expression. “Things I've deduced from your appearance, clothes, actions-” He began what was sure to be another long-winded explanation, but you were quick to interrupt. “I know what they are,” You told him, putting an end to whatever tirade he was about to journey into. “I just want to know why you're making them, especially why you're making them about me.” You clarified, giving him a firm and curious expression. He looked at you, confused as to why you'd ask such a question. “I make them about everything and everyone, it's not something I can just turn off.” He scoffed, looking at you like you were an idiot. You rolled your eyes again, turning away from him and carrying down the street at a surprisingly leisurely pace. “When I first took notice of you, which was when you gave me the coffee,” He began, and you were sure there were other things that he said after that, but you couldn't help but feel a sting in your chest. He first noticed you then? You first noticed him, well, the first time you saw him. But it took him weeks to even notice you? It shouldn't have bothered you as much as it did, but you felt your cheeks heating up with embarrassment and anger. Slowly, your ears began to pick up on the other words he was saying and it did nothing to help your mood. “I could see you had a cat and lived alone, that was easy. Also after further observation I saw that your co-workers didn't like you very much, they would all stay away from you, except that one woman with the dyed hair.” You weren't sure if it was the rude way he was giving you this information, the fact that your co-workers didn't like you, or the dig he had taken at your close friend, but you were ready to explode. And explode you did. You stopped abruptly, which caused him to stop as well, looking a bit surprised. You swallowed back tears that you weren't aware were preparing to form until now, but you spoke with anger anyways, hiding all sadness, “Is this really necessary? Is this some sort of game to you?” You shouted, venom-laced words escaping your lips. “Oh, I've hit a soft spot. Was it the co-workers not liking you or the friend thing?” He asked, he didn't seem actually concerned, more like he was wanting to know for the benefit of other deductions he'd make in the future. You felt a shaky breath leave your body, a tear or two probably falling onto your cheeks. You were an angry crier and a sad crier and you were experiencing both emotions pretty strongly right now, so the tears were valid. “Are you having a mental breakdown? You know, I did sense some instability, I noticed the pill bottle in-” That was enough for you. Your breathing was heavy now, anger affecting your body. You didn't hesitate to bring back your hand and slap him directly across the cheek, directly hitting the other wound he had probably received from another pissed off person. “That seems to be a running theme today,” He muttered, hand going up to the cheek which had just been assaulted for the second time today. “Because you're an asshole,” You seethed, not even feeling a little bit guilty for the blood that had started to reappear from the wound. It seemed you had opened the first one with the intensity of your slap. “I'm just stating the obvious. If you didn't want this to be told you, maybe you should be nicer to your co-workers so they'd like you.” He retorted, his voice not even cold anymore. He just sounded matter of fact, which made you feel worse. You knew you probably looked crazy, with tears running down your cheeks and your fists clenched with anger, not to mention that the wind was doing God knows what with your hair. “Do you have nothing better to do? No one else to bother? What about the person who slapped you before I did? Surely you could torment them instead,” You asked, voice no longer shouting, but quiet and laced with hatred. It was then his face fell, smug smirk no longer residing on his lips. You let out a deep sigh, of course, he doesn't have anywhere better to go. And of course, that made you feel bad for him. “Yeah, me neither.” You said, quieter this time. Anything was quieter than your screaming, though, so it wasn't saying much. “Are you done screaming at me now?” He questioned, expression no longer looking like he was taking any pleasure in this. You swallowed, a shaking hand coming up to your cheeks to wipe away the tears that had fallen there. You let out a nervous chuckle, “Yeah, guess you were right about it.” He raised a bushy eyebrow, “I'm always right, but what are you referring to?” God, what an asshole. You were too emotionally drained to do anything about it and in a way, you deserved this. “The co-workers thing,” You whispered, not really wanting to repeat the whole situation. Sherlock let out an, “Oh,” “Do you usually lash out and cry like this? That may be why they don't like you.” He said, sounding completely serious. You looked up at him, not even realizing you had been staring at the ground. You let out a small huff of laughter, which seemed to confuse him. “Suppose we’re in the same boat, though, that helps a bit.” You remarked, running a hand through your hair which was being violently attacked by the wind. “What do you mean?” He asked, sounding somewhat curious. “Well, I doubt people like you either.” You said bluntly, really not caring since he had verbally attacked you mere minutes ago. He tilted his head, which made the wound on his left cheek even more visible under the street lights. “Oh, people hate me.” He told you, lengthening the word “hate,” “Dinner then? Since no one else can stand to be around us?” You asked, readjusting the purse strap that was on your shoulder. He stared at you, examining you once again. He seemed a bit surprised, which made sense. You were surprised you asked him as well, considering he was a complete dick. But, he was just as lonely as you, so why the hell not? “I have nothing better to do,” He repeated your earlier words, something resembling a twinkle of humor in his green eyes. You couldn't help the small smile that crossed your lips, you were really gonna do this. “Alright then, you're paying, though.” You told him, raising your eyebrows as you said it before you turned around and carried down the street and allowed him to follow you.

[a-goddessofmischief]

My grandfather passed away on December 1st last year. 11 days before my birthday. We weren’t as close anymore as we used to be but we were still very close.

For a little background, I grew up without my biological father. He left when I was very young and I’ve never seen him. It kind of got harder when I was in school because people would pick on me. It also didnt help that I called my grandfather “Dad”. Thats just what everyone else called him when I was growing up so thats what I called him.

It was very sudden. He had a heart attack, which the doctor didn’t realize that he had one until something happened. I cant remember if he had another heart attack or if his defribulator kept going off but they put him in a chemical induced coma without our consent. It was his only option to keep him alive though. That was followed by four of the longest days of my life. I don’t remember eating or showering. We barely slept. One minute he was going to be released and the next everything went black.

The day he was supposed to be taken to another hospital was the day he passed. His heart just kept failing him and there was no way they could’ve moved him. We were called in at 4 am, and if I thought the four days prior were long, those last five hours he lived were an eternity.

We weren’t sure how long he had left that morning. He already had to be revived twice when the nurse called us. So there wasnt a minute to spare and the only way in our local hospital to the ICU was from the ER which was on the other side. The parking sucks on the ER side so my mom pulled up and told me that I had to run to him. I took off my sweater, held my phone, and tightened my laces. The moment the car slowed down I jumped out. I held my phone in my hand and ran. The hospital is huge and there were so many halls. I had never been through the hospital this way so i was trying my best to think and pay attention to where i was.

My phone rang and i didnt look to see who it was. It was my aunt. She was driving and trying to come to the hospital. She was crying and trying to hold it together. I kept telling her to breathe and to mind the road. She seemed to understand and as soon as I got her calm i found myself in front of the ICU door. Theres only one door and it has a lock that cant be opened from the outside. There was always another nurse in front to push the button to open the door but she wasnt there. I didnt know if my grandpa was still alive or not. I couldnt be on the phone with my aunt if he was gone. I told her i had to hang up and she screamed.

That sound haunts me. I told her to breathe and that I find her and drag her here if i had to. But she had to make it here. She responded in a shaky voice an answer I will never forget. “Meg, tell him that if he has to go that we’ll be okay. Its okay for him to go.” I hung up. Determined more than ever before to get through that damn door. I banged on it with both my fists and shouted but no one from the other side approached the door. I turned and saw a janitor and begged him to open the door. He stared at me for a second.

My unbrushed hair, wrinkled jeans and grey thermal top, my eyes red and burning. I felt myself shaking from my head to my toes from shock. He went over and hit the button to open the door. I ran down the hall and I only screamed one word.

“DADDY!”

i skidded to a halt in front of the door to his room. There was a large group of nurses and paramedics blocking my way. A nurse came forward to hug me but i peeled myself away and walked through the door.

His heart was beating still. He was so still. Looked like he was taking a nap if there hadnt been a balloon in his chest and tubes coming from his throat.

The nurse was talking, I have no clue what she said. But i turned and saw my mom and thats when I remembered how close my aunt was. Mom stayed as I ran back down the hallways, i got to the door as soon as my aunt did. We ran all the way back, i knew the way now and the nurses were waiting holding it open for us.

So much happened. We surrounded him for several minutes begging him to hang on when his monitor stopped. They pulled us out of the room and took us down a hallway. My mom stayed by his door but my aunt went from hysterical to defeated.

My calm and cool and never panic aunt was breaking in front of me. She kept talking to herself about everything she did wrong. She was blaming herself. She shouldve stayed overnight, she shouldve done this and that.

She slumped against a wall and sank to the floor. She kept shaking her head and blaming herself.

My mother was doing the same thing two days before. Almost exactly word for word. It blows me away sometimes how similar they are.

I kneeled in front of her and held her head in my hands. I tried to get her to look at me but she kept her eyes closed. “Listen to me. I know you’re tired and I know this us hard. But we’re going to fight. We’re going to keep fighting because thats how we were raised. Thats how Dad raised us. And you’re not gonna blame yourself, its not your fault. You have to stop saying tgat because my mom is blaming herself too.” She opened her eyes and it seemed like she was seeing me for the first time. The nurse came over and told us he was with us and she jumped up and ran to my mom’s side. They were twin pillars, holding my world together as it came crashing around us. They left for a few minutes to make calls to his siblings to come to him. I was alone with him. Holding his hand and watching his face, brushing his hair back. The nurses and paramedics left the room. I was alone with him. I had so much to say but i didnt know how long I had to say it. Just the day before I was alone with him again and had begged him to hold on for us because I had forgotten how to change a tire and who was going to teach my cousin Lee if he left us? Who was going to raise his chickens? Buy laptops every time they updated? Get ice cream treats? Who could possibly do the things he did. In that moment, I figured out my answer. “Dad. I promised you when Ashley’s kids were born that I would watch over them when you couldn’t. I promise to watch over them and teach them everything you taught me. I promise to be there for grandma and mom and ashley. I promise to do everything I can for them, Dad. If you have to go, i just need you to know that I was the luckiest girl to have you as my grandpa. I don’t want you to go, but I know you have to. I love you so much Daddy.“ My mom and aunt came back at that point and started making calls to hold the phone up to his ear so our family who was too far could at least tell him good bye. I started blabbering. Talking about stories about him. Our adventures on road trips or at work or this and that. After awhile I started to hear how desperate I sounded. I kissed his forehead for the last time and ran out. My boyfriend had come and i collapsed in his arms sobbing and telling him how I couldn’t stand that damn heart monitor sound any longer. He hugged me and sat me down and soothed me till I could at least breathe at a somewhat normal pace. Then he went back to the room. I was in the hall crying and trying to maintain some composure. He came back a couple minutes later and took me to the waiting room where we sat for the next hour. He talked at times but I dont remember what he said. I justed stared at the off white linoleum. The next few hours are kind of a blur of a couple family members coming up to me and other people rushing past but i couldn’t register anything until my mother came out and told me he was gone. She put her car keys in my hand and said something about paperwork. My boyfriend walked me out the same hallway I ran through. The sun had risen but I didnt know what time it was. The car seemed to get further away. Each step weighed me down morethan the last. It felt like everything was moving in fast forward except me. I stopped and started screaming. My boyfriend held me and i sobbed and hung onto him as my knees gave out. I felt like my world had come crumbling down and screaming was the only thing that I had control over. I stopped eventually and went back inside to give my mom her keys back. My boyfriend gave me a ride home and for the next week, me and mom stayed at my grandmas and just cried and slept. And now, roughly 9 months later, it doesn’t feel like anything is actually easier. I still have moments where I feel like theres a boulder on my chest and it takes every ounce of energy just to swallow a bite of food. The only thing that keeps me going is my promise. Even though the pain is constant, it feels lessened when I take care of my family and other people. I don’t normally post this kind of stuff. I just have these feelings sometimes that things don’t feel whole since I can’t share them with my grandpa. It’s like having a puzzle but youre missing the piece that finishes the picture. Every single day is a battle. A battle with my depression, a battle with the fact that hes gone, my family is smaller without him. I never told anyone what happened from my own perspective. No one asked me how I felt or what I did. Not a lot of people know I was there that morning. My grandpa wasn’t a celebrity or anything close to it, but he was to me. It was suggested to me that I write what happened and at least then its out in the open and not trapped inside my head playing over and over again. I’m not doing this for notes or attention. Just to feel a tiny bit free from my overwhelming grief. At least its a step toward moving on. Thank you for reading.

[witchofenoch]

Personal post. Content warnings: PTSD, depression, anxiety, self-hatred, self-doubt, frustration, miscarriage, infertility, gender issues, trans issues, emotional abuse, childhood abuse, nightmares, insomnia, prostitution mentioned but didn't occur, childhood sexual abuse alluded to, physical abuse implied

Writing the warnings is so tiring I usually discard the post before I even finish with them. Nothing's getting better or easier tonight though. I just want to read until I fall asleep and have decent dreams and wake up feeling human. Instead I'm wide awake at midnight, chest full to bursting with frustration and anger and grief and fear.

I'm frustrated with so much, it's a shorter list by far of what isn't frustrating me. My biggest frustration? Myself. Not just because of my mental illnesses or autism or dysphoria or anything like that; I'm frustrated as hell at my nightmares. I want to sleep, NEED to just sleep, but I'd rather be awake for 4 straight days, pass out, repeat. I'm terrified of seeing that monster. With every nightmare he touches me more and my dream self excuses and forgives him more. Maybe some people could accept that as healing or moving on, but it's pure terror for me. What he did was completely unforgivable. He is the worst of the monsters out there. I feel like I've been hexed, like there's something attached to me that's gnawing at my soul and tearing at my mind.

I'm so damn angry. At him, absolutely, but also at the many, many adults who were around when I was a kid: who knew something was wrong and chose to ignore it: who blocked it out with no thought spared for the child going through it. The adults who blamed my mom, my sister, and me for his behavior. The people who took advantage of me later knowing that I knew nothing else or nothing better. The kids in high school who started rumors that I was a prostitute because he, "an old man," "picked [me] up at the bus stop" and made me "kiss him" on the lips when I was a teenager (quotes around the parts they spread through about half of the school, though they exaggerated the lewdness which has only fueled my nightmares since). It's been a decade and a half and my anger toward all of them hasn't eased: mostly it's gotten worse. I look at the kids my sister nannies, friends' kids, celebs' kids, and I cannot fathom someone hurting them. I'm angry at being left alone to grieve every loss in my life, being told to "get over it" or being flat-out ignored until I could "get it together" long enough to fake being okay. I'm angry at the would-have-been fathers for making me suffer in silence. (One didn't and we're friends to this day. He deserves to be mentioned.)

I'm grieving. I'm mourning the kid I couldn't be, the me who was taken before they were made, the years I don't remember, the adult I'll never be, the freedom I'll never feel, the memories I didn't get to make. I'm mourning the years wasted trying to get someone to pay attention to me: to show me some kind, any kind, of affection. Even the high school dances I couldn't attend, first because I was in fear for my life and later because no one wanted me around. I'm grieving for the miscarriages I've had, all 7 of them, all 8 could-have-beens.

I'm afraid and it's exhausting. Flinching at every single sudden noise. My heart pounding almost as loud as the knocks on the door. Always scanning the room or courtyard or parking garage for escape routes before I notice anything else around me. Feeling physically ill for the rest of the day after I smell certain colognes, shampoos, laundry detergents. Frantically glancing around to find potential weapons when I see an Iron Maiden t-shirt on a stocky guy around my height or almost-pastel short-sleeved button up shirts with a front pocket on one side or a petite brunette wearing a mini-skirt. (Abusers come in all shapes, sizes, and genders, fyi.) Straight-up hiding behind shelves in stores or behind a rack of clothes, in bathrooms, fitting rooms, closets, a dark corner until the people who sorta look or sound like One of Them is gone. Hiding (from) my phone when I get a call from "Unknown" or just numbers I don't know. Blocking or deactivating cameras and mics in my computers, phones, and tablets because yes, I've been hacked by abusers more than once. Hiding under a blanket when I read at night because when I was a kid it was the only time I felt safe aside from when I'd climb to the top of my tree. Being unable to sleep if the door is cracked open. Startling awake at anything that sounds like a door slamming shut, a window opening, someone knocking on the door, wall, or windows. Waking up with panic for no discernable reason. Cringing at certain words. Wanting to fight someone if they call a girl, boy, or woman "babydoll," "doll face," "little girl/boy," "little one," "baby girl/boy" (if they're 5 or older), or any other infantilizing pet name because You Will Not Hurt Them.

I'm tired. So damn tired. My shoulders are sore, my hips ache, my knees throb, my wrists ache, my back aches, my head hurts, my neck is stiff and sore, my chest feels like it's in a vice, my boobs hurt, and all of that is all the time. I have scars from the back of my head to ankles. I have old injuries that'll probably never heal. I have crap wrong that I was just unlucky enough to have been born with. I have things wrong with me that doctors can't figure out, like why I've had 7 miscarriages over 11 years and not one pregnancy that lasted more than 12 weeks. Things doctors refuse to fix, like removing my boobs which constantly ache, touching certain areas causes sharp pain (they have all of that on file and diagnosed), and I can't gain and maintain a healthy weight because the dysphoria messes me up (but good luck getting good trans "counseling" and docs and a surgeon who'll "diagnose" you as trans with dysphoria AND agree to operate to make you LESS feminine in any way in Churchy McChurchville). "Insurance won't cover it." "You might regret it." "What if you decide to have kids later." (That last one is a whole other can of worms and I need all of that stuff out of me too but even at almost 30 I'm condescended and told I'll change my mind, regret it, meet a Really Nice Guy™ and want to start a family, blah blah bull.)

I've had my battles with insomnia for as long as I can remember (which, for more than bits-and-pieces, is only as far back as 14). I've had night terrors since I was an infant. I've stayed awake for almost 60 hours, and I've slept for 25 hours straight. For a while in high school I was so scared that I got an hour or two of sleep a day when my sister was home and awake but her boyfriend wasn't there. That would last 6 days out of the week. I'd crash for 10-12 hours on my mom's day off. Rinse and repeat for 2 or 3 years. I've been a homeless kid, a couch surfing teenager, and a constantly moving adult. I haven't lived in one place for more than 2 years since we left The Monster when I was a preteen. Even then, I've shuffled around from my parents' house to my sister's apartments (she moves every couple of years too) to my grandma's house before she moved into an independent living place. (It's actually nice. I was the hardest to convince.) I may have found a place to stay for a while: the area if not the apartment.

Still.. the nightmares. Waking up sideways across the bed. Waking up so tangled in my covers I start panicking trying to get out. Seeing their faces until I finally blink them away. Smelling beer or smoke as I'm finally drifting off. Night terrors. Waking up with bruises around my arms, wrists, and legs. Waking up still feeling like someone's touching me, hurting me, or breathing down my neck. My dreams can be totally mundane except A or C or, the most often and worst, The Monster will be there. When it's A or C they'll be watching me, talking to me, chasing me, fighting me, screaming at me. It's a nightmare, stressful as hell, but I recover and go about my day just a tad more on edge. The Monster will just show up and we'll act like we're trying to form a relationship, like he's gotten nice and I've been forgiving. But every time he touches me I feel so sick I'm surprised I don't wake up. My sister and sometimes others show up trying to make me stop the farce, but I'm always too scared.

This last dream, night before last.. It was boring, nothing remarkable was going on. Then The Monster showed up in a city cop's blue uniform. In that world he was apparently an actual cop. With each nightmare dream!me has let him slowly get closer and closer and had long-arm hugged him before this. He'd "accidentally" brush my arm when walking by or bump his leg against mine while sitting next to me. This time he, the cop iteration of him, reached up for something on a shelf above me and was pressed against my back. He hugged me. He had me sit almost on his lap. At first I was nauseated, then accepting of it, then my sister showed up and gave me the "wtf are you doing!?" face and I got scared. Eventually I woke up, probably when my brother-in-law left for work or maybe he came into the room to feed the fish. I'm just glad I woke up when I did and things stopped escalating.

Ugh. "2am and I'm still awake writing a song. If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd 'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud and I know that you'll use them however you want to." I don't know. Whenever I'm up late writing, or trying to write, the stuff I'm going through that song comes to mind. So much of it is relatable for me.

"May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss. 'Just today' he said down to the flask in his fist. Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year." Turning 21 in May and not being sober for months before that applies to a past abuser. The drunk in the military part applies to another. Really, every word of it applies to a rather small part of my life when a lot of connected events occurred. At least, after the first verse (about going with a friend to be there for her when she got an abortion) and "writing a song" unless you take "song" metaphorically as it's been used in literature, trope names, and poetry, and lyrics to mean story, tale, or speech (e.g., a "songbird telling his tale," swan song, "singing to the choir").

I should hop off this carousel before it opens into a drain. It's about 2:45am now. I'm just starting to feel sleepy, but I'm still as mentally awake as before. I hope getting this out helps me sleep a little better, at least for a night or so.