#it’s such a massive genre at this point and the fact that the writer has just blanket-accused the whole thing is wild

[thebroccolination]

I cannot dispatch an untruth, y’all: there’s very little funnier to me right now than the writer who penned the novel that inspired the first Thai BL series featuring omegaverse proselytizing on Twitter in English to interfans about the problematic dangers of omegaverse.

For let it be known, ye covetous wretches: forsake the vein’ed wolf cock for thou hath strayest from the warmth and musk of Our Father’s taut, vanilla bosom. Seek the layman’s missionary and repent.

[barbwritesstuff]

Not and ask but I do have to say I love how you’ve played with the lore of these mythical creatures. A lot of media definitely leans more towards romanticizing being one of these creatures but you’ve given them this doomed lore. If you’re a werewolf, you will go mad. If you’re a vampire you’ll likely die early or live long enough to see yourself lose touch with the world and become a blood crazed maniac. Upon dying, you can’t ever find peace in death. Becoming a monster comes with a few shiny perks and the heaviest debt you will ever take on. It’s so tragic and I love it.

I have a name for this! I'm sure people in the literacy analysis sphere have a smarter, swankier name, but I call it:

✨The Spooky vs. Superhero Slider✨

On one hand, you have the spooky stuff. Characters who are written to have genuine curses. You've been bitten by a zombie. You will die in seven days. etc That means the slider is set 100% to the spooky side.

On the other, you have literal superheroes. They're gods, they fly around and save the day, it's awesome. You want to be on this end of the slider.

Most characters who aren't just regular humans (be they vampires, werewolves, or alien gods) are somewhere along the slider. Depending on the author, depending on the story, even depending on the character, it can fluctuate a lot.

Take Lestat and Louis from Anne Rice's Interview With The Vampire for example. Both are vampires, but Lestat doesn't hate being a vampire quite as much, in fact he often has a wee bit of fun with it. Plus, he can fly. Stories from his POV are a few points more superhero than anything told from Louis' POV.

Another example, Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. They're mostly superheroes with the one big downside being their bloodlust. So, when Bella could instantly control her bloodlust, that series tipped hard into superhero. There was nothing horrific about being a vampire. It was fun. It was cool. It was... super.

It's always a sliding scale.

Personally, I prefer for that slider to remain closer to the spooky side than the superhero side. That doesn't mean I don't love superheroes. I am a massive Superman fan and wrote a whole wee story about it. But I want superheroes to be done with intentionality and I want my curses to feel like curses.

The genre of Blood Moon and Thicker Than is urban fantasy/horror.

They're not meant to be goth superheroes. They're meant to be cursed.

And that sucks for them... but it's a huge amount of fun for me, as the writer. I think it makes them much more interesting characters and makes the world way more fun to play in.

I think my werewolves have it just a tiny bit easier. They're 70% spooky and 30% superhero. The downsides are downsiding but the powers are still cool. My vampires I gave a bit of a rawer deal. They're 80%, maybe even 85% spooky. They get powers, sure, but the cost is steep.

Sorry for the long rambling response. This is just something I've thought about probably too much before.

[thatuselesshuman]

Casper's 101 guide to improving your writing

So uh I'm not at all qualified to tell you how to write but someone irl told me I should make a guide so here it is. This is how I learned to write, and I like to think I'm not that terrible

Step One: Read

It's difficult to learn to write if you don't have the base material. It's like cooking, if you never eat different foods then your food will be bland cause you don't know what flavors are out there. Reading is the best thing you can do to when you start getting into writing. It'll tell you what your preferences are and it'll expand your vocabulary (both very important steps!). It'll tell you what POV you want to write in, certain words that give you the ick, plot points you enjoy, genres you like, how many mistakes you can tolerate, styles of writing you enjoy, etc.

Note: don't just read prim and proper books. Read fanfiction, read manga, read manhwa, read webnovels, read anything and everything that catches your eye. They all have their different qualities, and they're all better at doing one thing or another. Read, read, and read some more.

Step Two: Start Small, and Start Enjoyably

No sane person starts out writing massive novels out of the gate. A novel is a massive undertaking, and if you do it incorrectly it's a great way to kill your enjoyment though writer's block. What you're going to want to start with is short stories, one shots on Ao3, etc. Write small stories that are manageable and write a lot of them. Write stuff you enjoy as well, since you're not trying to impress anyone. This step is to dip your toes into the world of writing and kindle a good starting flame so you don't crumble into the ground the first time you hit writer's block.

Note: Don't be afraid to start with nitty gritty stuff if that's what you enjoy writing. I personally started with heavy angst, whump, torture, and the like because that's what interested me. That's what I wanted to write. There's nothing wrong with writing whatever the hell you want. I stand by the fact that censorship is the death of art.

Step Three: Practice Detail

Have you ever looked at a passage while reading and thought 'huh, this description is really bland'? Well I have. A mark of a good writer is being able to describe everything down to the dirt (not that you always should, but that's another lesson for another day). You may think that it should be easy to describe things in detail, but trust me when I say that it's a skill. Some ways you can practice are:

Describe your room in excruciating detail through brush strokes (like you would a painting)

Describe a mundane object through the lens of someone from the far past

Describe the nature around your house in abstract shapes

Describe a waterfall through the perspective of someone who has never seen one in their life

There are plenty more, but here are some to get you started.

Step Four: Grammar

Trust me when I say this is most people's least favorite step. It's boring, I know, but knowing how to utilized commas, ellipses, — <- these things, semicolons, etc, is a relatively easy way to instantly boost your writing. No one likes to read a story where it seems like the author hasn't seen a period in their life.

Note: This is just general advice, but if you wouldn't want to read it, then don't write it. That's another reason why the first step of reading is important.

Step Five: Share Your Writing With People

Whether you share it with strangers (like I did) or people you know, sharing your writing is an amazing way to get advice and feedback. It's also a great way to meet people who have the same interests as you. Writing is a bubble with no outside interaction makes it harder to get better at writing because it's easy to have rose-tinted glasses about your writing. It's also easy to think your writing is ass, even if it's really not. Having people around you who will tell you the truth is great as a reality check whenever you're blind to how things are.

Step Six: Write Until Your Hands Hurt

This is the step that always shows up on writing how-tos, and I'm not immune to it either. The reason everyone says to write a ton is because you're never gonna get better or have a passion for writing if you never do it. It's like art or a sport, how the hell do you expect to get better if you never touch a pencil or never pick up the ball? Divine intervention? I mean that is possible but unless you're writing the Bible then I don't think God is going to bless you miraculously with amazing writing skills. It's like anything in life, practice makes progress.

Everyone starts out terribly, and there's always going to be that 8 year old prodigy who's better than you, but that's not why writers write. We write because if we don't, the voices hunt us down-

Anyways, jokes aside, that's my guide to writing. I don't think it's too terrible, but that could just be the glasses I mentioned in the fifth step speaking.

[victorianqueerarchive]

Queered Gothic: An Introduction to Queer Victorian Gothic Theory

In a time of massive societal change, queer people persisted (and were even written about)!

Welcome to the QVA (Queer Victorian Archive)! This is the first of many posts I hope to make about stories within the Victorian literary canon with queer themes. However, we must begin with some frequent frameworks I shall work with. These are frameworks that may apply to one story, many stories, or may even apply to all stories posted about. However, the purpose of this post is to allow you to understand the terms I will frequently reference.

Firstly, I’ve used numerous scholarly sources, which will be referred to in the citation section below the cut on this post. However, I’ve decided to also place them here. In sum, I will be sourcing from Michel Foucault’s The History of Sexuality, Volume I, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick’s Epistemology of the Closet & Between Men, and the works of Ardel Haefele-Thomas. Below are some key terms that these authors use to refer to Victorian-period sex, sexuality, and gender:

Repressive Hypothesis (Foucault): In the first volume of his History of Sexuality (1976), Foucault fundamentally argues that modern sexuality and sexual tensions are a product of a repressive era of time, roughly corresponding to the 17th through 20th centuries. He argues that under this era, it may appear that human sexuality and gender expression were repressed, but in fact, it was quite the opposite, and it appears that sexual discourses blossomed in the period rather than being functionally oppressed. Through medical, social, political, and other discourses in the 19th century, sex and particularly homosexuality was functionally controlled by a group who sought to distance Victorians from “sexual perversion”. Foucault also argues that sex has had a power structure hold over us, and therefore power, knowledge, and sex are intermingled among one another, and that sex has come to define us in a way that is both controlling but also sometimes freeing.

Homoerotic Triangles (Sedgwick): In her Between Men: English Literature and Male Homosocial Desire (1985), Eve Sedgwick argues that the relationship between men in literature has towed the fine line between sexual and platonic through the use of homosocial desire to negate homosexual desire/panic. Essentially, homosocial desire describes the existence of very strong bonds between men that they, in turn, fear could lean into homosexual desire. Through this, Sedgwick argues that English literature often has a triangular relationship, deemed a (homo)erotic triangle. In this triangle, two men often have a desire for one another, but use a woman as a channel to which they can focus this desire without slipping into homosexuality or homosociality. The woman often serves as the connecting point for the homosocial desires, and acts as a sort of conduit.

The Queer Victorian Gothic (Haefele-Thomas): Finally, one of my most important frameworks is directly from the Edinburgh Companion for the Victorian Gothic, and is from Chapter IX by Ardel Haefele-Thomas, “Queer Victorian Gothic”. Haefele-Thomas argues in this chapter that a lot of narratives within Victorian literature that are Gothic fundamentally have queer themes, characters, or tropes, primarily because of how much space that the Gothic gave writers. Particularly, she argues that the existence of these themes, characters, and/or tropes were allowed to be explored through numerous means, especially through familial worries, legal issues, and/or medical maladies. She also argues that the Gothic tended to be a liminal genre in the Victorian era, straddling between the “normative” novel genre and something quite different, which allowed for it to be explored more openly. She writes:

“[I]t allowed many nineteenth-century authors to look at social and cultural worries consistently haunting Victorian Britain even as the official discourse worked tirelessly to silence those concerns.”

She also goes on to argue that, because of a stratified, rigid nuclear family culture, these transgressive identities showed themselves only through secretive means; they stayed the “family secret”. It is also to say that the laws surrounding homosexuality were also taken into account at this period, and there were clearly anxieties surrounding transgressiveness and how a socially conservative culture would be changed by these transgressions. She also argues that the pathologization of queer people became common, writing:

“Definitions of disease began to diligently include and pathologize anyone who was not clearly heterosexual and who did not clearly ascribe to a strictly masculine or strictly feminine demeanour.”

While the Gothic allowed for the exploration of these facets of human identity, a wide variety of localized parts of the identity were explored, particularly sex, sexuality, gender, race, ethnicity, among numerous other aspects.

It is possible that from time to time, I will source other scholars and their writings, but this is just a brief summary of what I’ve studied thus far and have the most expertise. I will primarily be focusing on short stories at this time, but will migrate into other media eventually. With that in mind, my next posts will be focused on queer readings of Robert Louis Stevenson’s short story “Olalla”, as well as Vernon Lee’s decadently queer “A Wicked Voice”.

Below: Citations!

Foucault, Michel. The History of Sexuality: An Introduction. United Kingdom, Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 1990.

Haefele-Thomas, Ardel. “Queer Victorian Gothic.” The Victorian Gothic: An Edinburgh Companion, edited by Andrew Smith and William Hughes, Edinburgh University Press, 2012, pp. 142–55. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.3366/j.ctt3fgt3w.13. Accessed 17 Nov. 2023.

Sedgwick, Eve Kosofsky. Between Men: English Literature and Male Homosocial Desire. Italy, Columbia University Press, 1985. Accessed 25 Jul. 2024

[olderthannetfic]

For a one-off movie to get a fannish following, it seems to require chemistry between people that are sexy to fans, and a really strong or uniquely flavored emotional dynamic with a story that leans on that connection. I'm thinking of Inception, Pacific Rim (yes there was another one but I don't think people knew that at the time), Man From Uncle, The Old Guard. These aren't really buddy cop movies with the exception of maybe MFU - what would you call this type?

--

Okay... but... I was in MFU fandom, and it had the standard movie fandom shape: It peaked a little while after the movie came out, had activity for maybe a year, and then, in many ways, fell off a cliff.

It's also a more than usually popular reboot of a classic fandom that's still going. Granted, plenty of MFU TV fans hated it, but plenty more (like me) loved it.

If you're not aware, the original MFU was a mega-hit of 60s Spy-Fi. It didn't burst on the zine scene quite how Star Trek did, but when the show reran on cable in the 80s, the fandom really picked up. Its got its own extant fic archives and discord servers, yadda yadda. A one-off movie tied to something like that is a bit different from a completely standalone movie that's not part of a franchise.

Pacific Rim and Inception are probably better examples.

I think it's probably partly chance: there are a lot of people who write fanfic now, and small fandoms are findable on AO3 or even FFN because of how the sites are structured. Even if most movies don't have much of a fandom, sometimes enough people like the same thing at the same time to make a community happen.

And it's probably also partly about some infrastructure builder/organizer type falling for the fandom at the right moment. I know someone who threw a Pacific Rim con. The right BNF writer writing an ongoing epic can attract people to a ship or a fandom.

TOG is getting a bit of a boost from canon gay, but I doubt it will remain that active that long unless further movies have good iddy stuff to reinvigorate the fandom.

Hmm... Less cliff-like than I remember from other movie fandoms but still not that enduring compared to really big fandoms.

--

I think the relationships in these movies have some bearing on why fandom latched onto them, but I don't know if I'd really form a unified theory around that. I think I'd point more to them being big, mainstream movies lots of people saw and being in genres fandom often likes (sff-y stuff, though the MFU movie really toned down the spy-fi gadgets). Their settings have unexplored aspects and lots of fun world building. MFU ends with massive sequel bait that we'll probably never get the resolution of.

The Losers is another movie that ends with the story half-told, that has a relationship of interest to fans, and that overlaps, genre-wise, with other things with big fic fandoms. I think it benefited heavily from some organizer fans and from people who like Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, or Idris Elba repeatedly discovering it after the fact.

I think a steady trickle of new fans may be the most important thing, and that can come from actors who go on to be popular or a long-running and widely-recced WIP, among other things.

[agentnico]

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim (2024) review

Are you kidding me?? It’s those damn eagles again!!

Plot: A sudden attack by Wulf, a ruthless Dunlending lord, forces Helm Hammerhand and his people to make a daring last stand in the ancient stronghold of the Hornburg. Finding herself in an increasingly desperate situation, Helm's daughter, Héra, must lead the resistance against a deadly enemy who's intent on total destruction.

I’m a major fan of Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and in fact they are my favourite films of all time. I’m also an admirer of Tolkien’s books, and The Hobbit films…well, not so much. Safe to say The War of the Rohirrim was on my radar, as unlike Amazon’s Piss of Power series, this entry is set in the same world as the Peter Jackson movies. Was anime a medium I ever expected Middle Earth to be portrayed in? No, but I’m always happy to give risks a chance.

I am conflicted. Did I like this movie? Did I not? In a way a bit of both. I truly think there is a lot to love here, yet at the same time you can tell that this project was rushed through development by Warner Bros. so that they could keep the film rights and not lose them to the Tolkien’s estate. I still think that there is a lot to admire here, though for every strengths there is a weakness, and thus is most certainly one to divide the fan base.

First off let’s discuss the animation, as from the get-go it was a head-scratcher as to why the decision was made to turn Middle Earth into a Studio Ghibli flick. Not bad-mouthing Hayao Miyazaki, just saying it was an outside-the-box creative decision. The end result though offers some truly breathtaking backdrops of Middle Earth landscapes, and at times wonderful character designs and action sequences that are truly stunning. A long sequence in a blizzard and the final battle set in flames are particular stand-outs. There’s a naturalistic feel to the character designs that feels very grounded and without exaggeration. Eyes aren’t distractingly wide, chins aren’t overly pointed, limbs and heads all feel well-proportioned. The colours are solid and rich, but not distractingly glossy or saturated. Perhaps it helps that the expressions say “serious business” at all times, which checks out as there’s a war going on. However on the other hand there is this strange blend of 2D and 3D rendering that looks utterly jarring and ugly, especially sweeping takes of the mountains and fields that look like they came straight off Google Maps. It’s a baffling mix of beauty and hideousness all in one. Like I mean it when the animation is bad it is truly awful.

A big part of what makes Peter Jackson’s world so lived in is the signature music score from Howard Shore. The writers and producers know this, as Shore’s shadow looks ever so present throughout this entire movie, with the Rohan instrumental playing up during critical moments and even the theme of the One Ring making a audio cameo. Naturally hearing Shore’s musical masterclass again in the cinema was wonderful, however primarily the score is that of Stephen Gallagher (who was the music editor on The Hobbit films), and even though he attempts to mimic and make his notes feel in the same vain as Shore’s classics, it just doesn’t have that heft nor timeless power, and instead feels like a by the numbers basic fantasy genre accompaniment.

The story, that is based on about a paragraph or so of what Tolkien originally wrote is engaging enough. It definitely feels like a basic premise that has been stretched out to its limits, as thus over 2 hour movie does end up dragging in many parts, and I do feel like the traditional 1 and a half hour run time would have been perfectly apt. Kind of reminds me how they stretched out a small children’s book with The Hobbit into a massive trilogy (with extended cuts available). At this rate a few years down the line we’ll be getting Middle Earth movies based on single words from Tolkien’s work. Regardless, with War of the Rohirrim, it is a very Game of Thrones-esque political narrative of lineage, right to the throne and revenge, whilst also copying a lot of what The Two Towers already accomplished, and it’s watchable enough, even though there isn’t really much new or original to it. Again, there are parts I found myself being flat out bored with, as it’s really dragged out, and also many characters are really one-dimensional, like the sons of the king for example, with one’s only refining character trait being they have an axe/sword, and the other son likes to play an instrument (a ukulele or whatever the hell it was).

Helm Hammerhand is an actual beast! Brian Cox adds the necessary royal vocals to him, but this character is essentially Middle Earth’s answer to the Hulk. Helm smashes through anything and all, and really was a badass that had some truly awesome moments in the movie. Shame that he gets overshadowed in the narrative by Héra, his daughter, who is the main figure that we follow in this story, and I can see why many fans have complained at the wokeisms of this tale. I’d say in all honesty it doesn’t go too crazy on the girl-power of it all aside from the ending, but one does wonder why she was picked as the lead rather than Helm, who’s the most colourful and epic of the cast of characters here.

In terms of The Lord of the Rings of it all, this is a pretty standalone entry in the Middle Earth saga, with no Sauron or hobbits in sight. I do like the idea of exploring this world outside of the main saga, however naturally as expected this movie features some cameos and references to the original trilogy, and I’m not going to lie, they did feel forced. Some callbacks to the wizards were particularly on the nose, and then a quick scene involving rings just felt like the writers being like “HEY, WE GOTTA CONNECT IT TO THE RINGS SOMEHOW!! IT’S ALL ABOUT THE RINGS!!” Then there are those fricking eagles again - the ultimate Get Out of Jail Free card of these movies, and they managed to shoehorn them even here.

The War of the Rohirrim I believe is a decent experiment in a new medium for this franchise, and makes me hope that if we are truly getting back into Middle Earth, that we get to explore more standalone tales of Tolkien’s world. This one is far from perfect, and I find myself right in the middle of liking and disliking it, yet nevertheless I’m hopeful for the future. Hunt for Gollum is next, though they should hurry up, as there are talks of them bringing back Gandalf, but guys, Ian McKellen is 85, so time’s ticking, just saying. Then again he was recently spotted living the time of his life dancing partying away in a gay club chipper as ever, so maybe there is some spring to that chicken yet.

Overall score: 5/10

[luvtonique]

Wait, I'm a little out of the loop, why are you losing followers?

The most likely reason is because I support generative AI and people just immediately decide based on that alone that I'm in support of art theft, despite the last 12 years of me very consistently saying I'm against art theft.

I don't mind if people steal my art personally, go for it, take it, trace over it, edit it, I don't care, have fun. Even remove my signature from it, it literally does zero damage to me, I don't even sign most of my art anyway.

The point I'm making though is that I do in fact utilize AI myself because I am disabled and unbelievably impoverished. I use it to help me make backgrounds because I have 25 years of experience drawing characters and maybe 15 hours of experience drawing backgrounds so it helps to just generate something.

I use AI to turn the lyrics I have 26 years of experience writing into music via Suno.com because I make music of hundreds of different genres and for hundreds of different reasons and I nor anyone on earth wants to spend my entire fucking life looking for 60 different bands and commissioning them to turn my lyrics I write into a song when I could instead just use AI and make fun catchy songs I can listen to during my streams, and I take commissions to write songs for people too because I believe Lyricists like myself should be able to get paid without having to rely on instrument talent (I have arthritis and can't keep a beat due to mental disabilities) or hiring other band members. Independent Lyricists are artists too and deserve to be paid for their work just like any other artist and I think "You used AI so you don't deserve to be paid" is far more harmful to artists trying to make a living than AI "taking away jobs" is.

And, I am strongly of the opinion that "If you use AI you're supporting art theft" is as retarded a statement as "If you own a gun you support school shootings."

I am in support of generative AI. It exists, there's nothing you can do about it, and you can either learn to adapt this new absolutely extraordinary tool that can help artists and their commission clients into your art routine, or you can continue bitching about it and boycotting the artists you claim you're trying to protect.

Because for all the times you say "AI is taking jobs away from artists," the only jobs I've seen taken away from artists is anti-AI activists getting artists fired or getting their PayPals frozen or making "Please unfollow this artist" callout posts to destroy that artist's career.

YOU are taking jobs away from artists, not AI. AI has opened the door for a MASSIVE amount of artists of lower skill levels to be able to make money off of their art much more easily and YOU are trying to get their careers destroyed by being anti-AI.

Not you specifically.

I mean "you" in a generalized manner.

Since adopting AI into my art to help with backgrounds, my art has improved dramatically and my workflow has improved in rapidity. I am making commissions much more frequently with much higher quality. I have been able to generate music, making an entire album for a singer character of mine (Yumi Pop) which will be a full physical album release that will make me, the lyricist and writer who wrote all the lyrics into a massive psychological horror story told between all the tracks, a fair bit of money when the album is released. I am living proof that AI can help artists improve and form their careers while everyone is just so fucking convinced AI is "harmful to artists."

Bitch it's literally pulled me out of debt already. I literally erased my PayPal debt by utilizing AI, how the fuck is it taking jobs from artists? It like basically gave me super powers you dumbshits.

AI is not harmful to artists, AI helps artists.

Y'all are so hung up on hating it that you don't realize how much of a golden ticket it is to creating a new era of art.

Of COURSE it's shitty if you just type in a prompt and generate a full picture and say you made it, same goes for literally fucking anything.

Photographers literally just go outside and take a picture of a goddamn tree in nature and they make $300,000 selling that picture to a magazine. Drake is the biggest singer in the world and he uses samples for his background music and Autotune for his voice.

MODERN ARTISTS TAPE A BANANA TO A WALL AND MAKE 100,000,000 DOLLARS OFF OF IT, AND ARREST THE GUY WHO EATS THE BANANA BECAUSE HE DEFACED THEIR ART.

AND Y'ALL STILL HUNG UP ON AI WHILE IGNORING ALL THAT.

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

Anne of Green Gables: The first impressions of someone reading the series for the first time in 2024.

To start this off, I'm just going to preface it with this is not going to be an academic/professional essay. Realistically it'll be closer to dotpoints and free flowing thoughts that jump around the place. It is also not official or objective or anything else, just my thoughts and feelings. Argue with the wall if you disagree lmao. I will also note that nowadays I am primarily a non fiction reader and that it's been long since this has been my genre of choice, but I had all the books on my shelf and want to read everything on my shelf at least once lmao. I went into this series with a vague idea of the plot around the first novel and knew that Gilbert and Anne ended up together, but that's it. I also read the books in Anne's age order, which, according to Wikipedia, was:

Anne of Green Gables

Anne of Avonlea

Chronicles of Avonlea

Further Chronicles of Avonlea

Anne of the Island

Anne of Windy Willows (yes I am Australian so I own this as opposed to Windy Poplars)

Anne's House of Dreams

Anne of Ingleside

Rainbow Valley

Rilla of Ingleside

The Blythes Are Quoted

So I guess a good place to start off my thoughts is to note the obvious: This was not the release order of these books. And that is super interesting to me.

Firstly, I want to applaud Lucy because I feel like often times when writers write a novel in a series in which the new novel happens chronologically before ones that came before it, it is made clear in a bad way that that's the case. However, had I not known this was not the chronological order beforehand, I never would have questioned it while reading. It also makes me want to talk to someone who was a fan of these books as they were being released and ask them what they thought about the books coming out in that order then. However, I am well aware that most if not all people in the world who fit that category have unfortunately passed on by now.

Secondly, I think this is particularly interesting in regards to Rilla of Ingleside and the two books that followed within Lucy's lifetime. I don't think I need to explain to anyone who has read the books that there is a massive tone change in Rilla of Ingleside comparative to all of the other books (barring the poetry in The Blythes Are Quoted) within the series. Given the timing of the books that followed, it would make sense to me that war was on Lucy's mind; that the war to end all wars did not in fact end all wars. It would have made sense to write a Rilla of Ingleside 2 exploring that given the circumstances, and yet she went back to Anne and comparatively happier times within the Anne of Green Gables universe. I am neither saying that is the wrong or right choice, just that it is very interesting to me. I do know that Lucy died before the war ended, so perhaps had she lived longer, she would have knowing that the allies won, but we'll never know and again, I find that very interesting.

As for my enjoyment of the books themselves, I think that with the exception of Rilla of Ingleside (which is a top 3 book of the series for me), there's a reason why the series revolves around Anne. I think she is the star of the show and I found that I enjoyed the books that heavily featured her far more than the ones that did not. I would say this to the point where if I were to reread the series, I would read any of the books starting with “Anne of” and Rilla of Ingleside and leave the rest, and to be honest, I would probably recommend that to any of my friends who haven't read the series if they felt they didn't vibe with the side characters in the first two books.

What I do appreciate the side books for is how they show that, intentionally or not, there is narrative bias and unreliable narration in the other books when it comes to how the Blythes are perceived. Throughout the Anne books, I always got the impression that while yes, people did see Anne as weird, most people came around and ended up befriending her or at least otherwise seeing her positively and that Gilbert was mostly liked. However, on top of The Blythes Are Quoted flat out saying that Anne was not liked by many, I found it interesting that a lot of the books from other points of view really showed Anne to be an annoying gossip to a lot of people and Gilbert to be quite harsh; even to the point of abuse rumours. Even in Rilla of Ingleside, we see Gilbert putting his foot down with Rilla about her responsibility in keeping the child in a way that I'd argue we don't with his interactions with Anne. The closest we get to that is the end of Anne of Ingleside where he is that overtired and embarrassed that his gift for Anne did not come on time that it came off to Anne as apathy. From memory, most to all other occasions in regards to Anne show him as stubborn but ultimately very caring and right. This difference in perception fills out the world and makes it feel a little more real, which I appreciate.

My main takeaway from this series, and I think a highlight of it, is to look at it from a lens of 'How is this different than the society I live in now?'. And the honest truth is is that it's not as different as I was expecting. There are a lot of ideas and plots in these books that are very progressive; even in 2024. Like let's be real, comparatively, there are not a lot of books that deal with miscarriages, women in higher education, the themes of love explored (marrying for love vs money, whether someone coming back for you after being separated for years/after their partner died is romantic or being a second option etc) and the impact of war on those of us left behind (whether that's veterans or those who could not fight in the first place). I was particularly struck with the comment Anne makes in The Blythes Are Quoted implying that Walter likely would have killed himself had he survived the war and Jem implying that he himself was struggling despite not being as openly vulnerable as Walter was. And I imagine there was even less of these themes in books a century ago. Likewise, I found it interesting that Lucy did not play into the idea of the older generation automatically having it worse when she made the choice to have the Blythe children grow up in the war era. As I have mentioned, Rilla of Ingleside was far different and darker in tone than the other books (again barring the poetry from The Blythes Are Quoted) and it's such an interesting choice to make given that even to this day there is a sentiment that each generation automatically has it better than the last purely because their parents (rightfully) want them to have it better than they did.

In saying all of this, the progressive nature of a lot of these books just made the conservative/traditional choices all the more obvious and harder to swallow for me. The non Anne/Rilla books are the worst offenders for me (and likely the main reason I did not enjoy them as much as the Anne/Rilla books). Like obviously there are sign of the time differences that were interesting to me (lack of Diana/Marilla, even in mentions, in the later books despite Anne naming children after them due to travelling being less common and more time consuming back then etc) but then there were also a lot of times where I found myself reminding myself that these values were the norm when these books were written. The obvious culprit was the racial language used, but I also did find myself cringing at how anti psychology it could be at times (mostly to make spanking feel like the 'correct' option which is still unfortunately common in some areas) and making jokes to my friends about how I was about to bring out my inner Ms Trunchbull over how marriage was treated in the books. From having women apologise for having boundaries/emotions to marriage being seen as the goal in life, even if it's in the worst circumstances, to Anne primarily being known as “Mrs Blythe” or “Mrs Dr” the second she got married really stood out to me and were things I had to contextualise in order to be able to finish the series. I also want to note that this is the first book/series I've read that Lucy wrote and I have been told that a lot of her other works were not conservative/traditional in the same way which is interesting to me. I do wonder if a lot of it had to do with this being her best seller so choices being made that would appeal to the masses of the time. Outside of the books themselves, it did also remind me that there are books that are being written now that we see as progressive that our grandchildren will see in a whole different light, and made me appreciate how far society has come in that regard.

I don't have much to say about the books individually... barring Rilla of Ingleside of course. I recognise that this is the third time I am saying this, but the absolute change of tone and themes in Rilla of Ingleside makes it by far the most interesting of the books in this series for me. I remember feeling a bit gobsmacked the moment I realised it was going to be a war book. And then my heart sunk. Because, in that moment, I remembered Walter Blythe and the fact that I thought something horrible was going to happen to him the minute he got into that fight in an earlier book. I knew in that moment what was to come, and that it would make sense for it all to turn out like it did, but god did I hope I was wrong. Throughout the books they were part of, Jem was my favourite of the Blythe children, but as a super sensitive person myself, I have a very special spot for Walter in my heart and think that his arc is the best put together out of the Blythe children. Also as a side note, God is having Jem find out about Walter's death so much after everyone else a choice, and one that will live rent free in my mind forever; especially because we do not get to see him grieve as we do the others.

Outside of Walter though, I find it interesting and the correct choice that this story happens through Rilla; the spoiled, vain, somewhat selfish youngest child at that prime age between childhood and adulthood. And especially with her and Walter seemingly being the closest out of the Blythe children, it tells a story that I don't know could have been told by any other character; even Anne. I also think that having this tale be told from someone who was not actively fighting in the war feels both progressive in that it's a story that is less often told (especially in the perception of it being just as important as those fighting) but aged well in many ways while still being dated/a sign of the times. Lucy did not live to see a world where the horrors of war were broadcast to the everyday people (though it was made clear that WW1 was different than past wars, the Vietnam war was the first time what happened on the battlefield was televised/shown to the masses), so it makes sense that not only is Jem 'cheerier' (for lack of a better word) about his prisoner of war days than what would actually be expected, but that a large part of Rilla's role is promoting the war and pushing for others to enlist despite her feelings about her brothers enlisting.

However, where this book has aged particularly well, and perhaps may even feel more resonate to the current generation than Anne's books for it, is its commentary on waiting during a traumatic time and feeling like nothing and everything has changed simultaneously. Many of the things said about the characters feelings regarding the war, and particularly those not fighting, were very reminiscent of things my friends who had not experienced trauma said about the coronavirus era we are living in. They also reminded me of an analogy to war an ex professor of mine made during the height of coronavirus about how those not fighting ached for a time where dancing and fun would prevail while those fighting could not find it in themselves to be that and were traumatised into a far more serious personality. Perhaps this is why I find myself wishing that we got to see more of Jem post war, but the aforementioned conversation between him and Anne in The Blythes Are Quoted in regards to Walter and Jem's war trauma gave me that same feeling.

To end this off, I want to respond to a question that I've been asked and seen others be asked about this series. Is this a children's series? Ultimately I would say yes. I was reading very similar things from the ages of 8 and above. Does that mean that it is only a children's series though? No. Had I read this series in 2003 when I was 8, I do not think I would have picked up on and resonated with at least half of the things I have spoken about in post. Instead, my main takeaways would have been about how love is not always what you think it will be or where you think you will find it and that change is a part of life, as is grief, but so is love and beauty and that they will always come back, even at the darkest of times. And I think those takeaways are just as important as the ones that I have spoken about here. It is simply that I got those takeaways from other experiences in life before I got around to reading this series. And I think that is the beauty of this series. It is by far one of the most interesting fiction series I've read in a while and really has something for most people in my opinion. Though it undoubtedly would not be the exact same story if written now, the fact that it has remained a classic over 100 years since the first book was released demonstrates that more than anything I could say would. And as someone who is writing a novel themselves at the moment, I applaud Lucy for that because god knows that is not easy to do.

[bdzonthareel]

Barbie

When I first heard about a Barbie movie, I like many people rolled their eyes at the very thought of it. Barbie media has often (at times unfairly) lambasted for being a cash grab and that was my initial reaction, however we I heard that Margot Robbie was involved and her production company was fitting the bill, my interest was piqued. So without further ado, (and I never thought I would ever say these words) let’s talk about Barbie!

We’re introduced to the fictional world of Barbieland, where every concept of Barbie exists and lives in perfect harmony with a respective Ken, and Allan (there’s only one of him.) But the harmony is disrupted when Robbie’s Stereotypical Barbie begins to suffer from an existential crisis and in order for her to fix what’s wrong she must go to the real world and meet the girl who is playing with her and figure out what’s wrong.

In all genres of entertainment, comedy is one of those that I am insanely harsh on, as comedian myself I feel like there should be a flow to long form story, especially in comedy. But I can say that Director and co-screenwriter Greta Gerwig created a work that was heartfelt and hilarious in this film.

The cinematography is nothing short of brilliant, lots and lots of pink paint was used to bring Barbieland to life and it felt like one massive play set. And the various Real World shots were not to be out done giving off a stark contrast to each other.

The soundtrack was a delightful mix of classic top 40s, newer hits and self-aware comedic songs. The score was equally light poppy and fun, composers (pop music legend) Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt brought an amazing upbeat energy to this film.

Co-writer Noah Baumbach, helped with some very well-timed jokes, and you know they worked because they triggered a metric ton of incels, and that alone was worth the price of admission. Together with Gerwig, I was throughly impressed with the amount of meta commentary on display, and despite what some might lead you to believe, the film doesn’t demonize men; the film’s message is far more complex than that. I also appreciate the fact that they made the movie about the titular character, with seems to be something that franchises like Transformers can’t seem to get right.

And the performances were hilariously well done, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gossling have great chemistry as they lampoon the ideas of these characters’ roles. Simu Liu, is amazing versatile and brings the same amazing timing that he brought to Kim’s Convenience and it was delightful. Although my favorite Barbies were Issa Rei as President Barbie and Sharon Rooney as Lawyer Barbie. And I would be remised to ignore Hari Nef whose Doctor Barbie was whimsical and charming, Also since I’m madly in love with Alexandra Shipp I can say that she another of my favorite parts. America Ferreira and Ariana Greenblat served as great moral support for the various inhabitants of Barbieland and then there Will Ferrell I was almost convinced was Ken at one point given his goofball behavior. I also enjoyed seeing Rhea Pearlman as one (spoilers), she just gets better with age. Kate McKinnon really went all in as Weird Barbie as did Michael Cera as Allan (easily my favorite character in the film.) And last but certainly NOT least, Dame Hellen Mirren as the narrator brought a nice touch of her

Barbie was more than what I and many others initially expected, it was packaged as a goofball fish-out-of-water comedy which is a tired cliché in its own right, I sat down on this for a good while before writing this and I feel like its one of the best comedies I have seen in a very long time. It was very funny, but it also had a lot to say about growing up, holding on to thing that we love, and letting go of them. The biggest message that we all have to find our own way, because we are all more than just an idea and life doesn’t exist in just a straight line and at the end of the day isn’t that what it means to be human?

I give Barbie a well-deserved, 5 out of 5.

[ellpimento]

Gatekeeping

You know what I can't stand? When you read a book (a popular one, mind you), and even though it has 5 stars left right up and down, the negative reviews are what dominates the top of the reviews page. And in reading their reviews, you realize, well the reason they didn't like it is mainly because it's not their usual cup of tea in reading. How many reviews I've read (and not just this most recent one) where the reviewers can't stand the book because of its slow pacing.

As a disclaimer, blurbs usually determine if I'll read a book. If the blurb piques my curiosity, I'll skim a few reviews, with a grain of salt. If it seems relatively positive in terms of the actual content of the story, the book will go on my to-read list. Otherwise, I don't read reviews in full until after I finish a book. And if I really like the book, then I'll 100% read its reviews, mainly bad just to see why some people thought that way.

And it always leaves a sour impression. I'm cynical, but this just feeds my cynicism.

Maybe some of us actually enjoy slow pacing. Maybe some readers like the side stories and the attention to detail. Not everyone's brain is meant to stop and smell the roses. It's small minds like theirs that a) should not be reading 900+ page books, b) leaving bad reviews because it was too "slow", c) stick to fast-paced brainless contemporary stories with cliched twists, and d) if the bad review has to do with your own personal preference, then stfu, say so, and appreciate a book for what it is. I also don't exactly like the fact that one can leave a review on a book that they never actually finished. Like, they've only read 10% of the book (or less), and that gives them the right to leave a 1 star review which consequently becomes one of the highest rated reviews? Tf is that about.

Is this gatekeeping on my part? Absolutely. There's a reason why such a term exists because it just feels that more often than not, a non-genre reader comes in, mocks and tears up the author's style, then the average review reader this one star reviews, assumes 'oh, this must suck,' and does a pass on it. Meanwhile, it could have been the one written piece that could have spoken to them as a reader, but since a 'funny' 'popular' review created the impression that an author failed at writing the story or sucks as an author (same thing), they've missed out on a perfectly enjoyable experience that could have brought them the amazing experience that only a good book can give, that unique connection one makes with the words and emotions on a page that can be found nowhere else.

My point is, think twice before leaving a bad review. I don't leave a bad review 9.9/10 times, mainly because I know my taste in books and writing greatly differ from the modern or contemporary opinion. I like books from the 19th and 20th century. I like textbooks. My taste in humor is not like youtube. And there are contemporary writers who also enjoy the same, and it shows in their plot buildup and patient steady character development. And then there is also that appreciation for reading something relaxing, not edge-of-the-seat nail-biting suspense, but rather something that calms and where one can get a full sensory admiration for the setting and characters via word choice and visualization… because after all, writing is an art. Not just entertainment. Sometimes, entertainment is exactly that: relaxing, slow, easy, simple. It doesn't need to have a massive plot twist (or vulgar, etc.) to be enjoyable.

I hate this modern need for constant entertainment. Just slow down. And if you can't slow down, or don't like to slow down, then realize that in yourself and don't bash the people who actually enjoy taking it slow.

[msfbgraves]

I’m never getting over the fact that Daniel married the female (nice) version of Terry Silver. Seriously, Amanda is just Terry with more sugar, and really nice dresses. They look like they could be related. Act like it too. I still lean towards that crack theory of Terry being Amanda’s father. Oh boy. Oh boy!!

From season one I kept wondering why she reminded me of someone—then I re-watched KK3, and I figured out who that someone was. Silver left a mark. And little Danny boy was left with one hell of a type.

Too bad the CK writers are cowards who’ll never give Daniel what he really needs, only the lighter shade of gray. Oh well, at least there’s fanfiction.

I give the writers of Cobra Kai a lot of flack, but narratively, Damanda is genius. I think the way they tried to tie Terry to Johnny was a bit forced; there is no reason at all why Terry would give two fucks about Johnny Lawrence before the tournament; I think it'd be funnier if they would have both turned to Daniel/Kreese at some point going "Who tf is that guy?" And it would have been a million times sweeter if Johnny would have gone to kick Terry's ass for messing with LaRusso only to emerge with his ass thoroughly kicked and work from there, but casting Amanda as Daniel's wife? Oh, the implications! Beautifully set up because the characters don't realise but at least part of the audience certainly will! The way they kept namedropping Terry so long before we got to meet him? And the "Oh...oh" people who hadn't seen Terry in tk3 all went through in seeing his younger self? The way the whole Kumiko S3 story retroactively makes sense? Because you couldn't but go: but why aren't they together? Even the bonsai LaRusso Auto gives away? It's incredibly cheesy if you only know kk1, but in light of KK3 and Little Trees it's so heartwarming again?

They left an incredibly deep mark on each other, but it's a deeply tainted love. And yes, if they'd been narratively honest, there is no way Terry wouldn't have kidnapped Daniel for some more karate bdsm at his house, going by that steam room scene alone. Too adult for the genre? You bet. But internally consistent.

But ah, what is fanfic for indeed!

If Amanda were Terry's daughter it must have been one massive bender Terry went on directly after tkk3, and I still think he'd somehow be aware of Amanda's existence and marriage to Daniel. No way people wouldn't have tried for alimony from that baby Daddy. And there's a lot of female love interests of TIG that work perfectly, but Terry has no chemistry with women in the whole franchise. Maybe Carla the maid, she's his type, but I hardly think he'd go there.

I'd still wonder what Amanda thinks of all this. Of course she doesn't know his younger self, but no way Anthony, Hawk and Demetri haven't digged up everything.

Awkward! 😆

And Anthony could so easily be Terry's child it's hilarious, too. Out mindgaming each other at every turn! But for canon Daniel to find out that Terry is his children's grandfather? Talk about psychic damage. I think he'd become a monk!!

[supremestvbigblog]

Clock's Ticking

The concept of time is something that many people have to deal with. For me, it's something that I constantly fear running out of. Due dates, times of the day, and at the moment, a hurricane, all play a major role in this fear of a ticking clock. Strangely enough, however, it's something that I enjoy listening to, especially while working on schoolwork. In a way, it helps me to lock in and focus on my assignment. It occurs often in songs I like, and I'd like to discuss it.

To start, we have "In The Hall of The Mountain King," a classical piece written by Edvard Grieg. The song's pacing begins slow, with few instruments, but eventually picks up its tempo, and throws in more and more instruments, to the point where it both sounds like it's clashing together and still fits so well. It's a perfect metaphor as to what happens if you idle around when the clock is ticking: Eventually it will all build up and end with one massive explosion of sound.

Of course, the most common fear of running out of time is that the consequences of it. The most common trope is the unavoidable grip of death: the fact that one day, you will pass away, be it from natural or unnatural causes. For example, the rap song "Tha Crossroads" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, has someone mourning the loss of some of his friends passing on. It sets a tone of melancholy, as the singer seems distraught over the loss of his closest friends. Several references to the afterlife are made, and he even mentions that he'll meet them soon, acknowledging that death is inevitable. Overall, a calm. dynamic theme, to reflect on the lives of fallen friends.

"The Fuse," written by Bruce Springsteen, is another example of death's effect on a person. Often in the song, a reference to a fuse burning is made, as the singer talks about his life with another woman. A slow and tranquil tone, reflecting on the inevitable passage of time. In the end, however, those memories created as time marches on, are precious to the writer, something to hang onto as the clock ticks down.

Some people fear death, plain and simple. When your own life is on the line, the most common thing people do is panic. We discussed other people's time running out, so what happens when your own life is on the clock? "It's Pizza Time!", written by Mr. Sauceman, is a great example of this idea. It uses a combination of rock guitars and electronic beats, to create a theme that induces panic. They work well together, paired with samples of church bells and clocks ticking to cause stress: to remind the listener that they need to hurry up. Then at the end, it first speeds up, to play the initial theme spread across the song, but slows down, with only a few beats and clock ticks playing, as a signal that you have run out of time, and death's embrace is approaching. A perfect example of fantaisa, where stress is the primary theme at play.

Much like the previous song, I also frequently listen to "Distasteful Anchovi (JC-RE-EDIT)," by ClacsyJitto. Much like "It's Pizza Time!" it shares similarities, between the genres, and its samples of clocks ticking. However, the main difference is its tone; rather than driving fear, it's instead designed to give the listener a sense of courage. Death's beckon still awaits them at the end, but rather than panic and stress out, they're told that they have the confidence to do it.

Despite death being a major consequence of running out of time, there are still other punishments for the clock running out. "Running Out of Time", a jazz song written by Doc Jazz, is more slow-paced, with calming instruments, as if it's a love song. Its lyrics talk about a guy accidentally wasting time, and apologizing to his lover for such. A slow-paced rhythm, in an attempt to make his lover forgive him, as he's faced the consequence of letting the clock strike zero.

Time is one of the most important things in life, and running out of it is never good. Your friends, family, and even your own life, are all on some form of time limit, be it natural or unnatural, and even outside of it, there's always another ticking clock out there dictating your life. You can't avoid it, so the best thing to do is learn to live with it. Cherish every moment you have, and make sure that you get your work done. For when your clock strikes zero, you'll have lived a fulfilled and memorable life, with memories to cherish.

(Link to a playlist with all the songs discussed:

[doomerpatrol]

Comic Log: 52

The massive collaborative project between Geoff Johns, Greg Rucka, Mark Waid, and Grant Morrison, as well as Keith Giffen and a whole swath of artists. Published on a weekly basis through 2007, 52 itself follows the year without the "Trinity" (Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman). Instead it focuses on more obscure or supporting characters in the DC Universe on a week by week, sometimes even day by day basis. We get seven (by my count) "core" plots and then, linking them all together, we get a fair amount of additional pages and smaller stories (briefly checking in on people like Green Arrow, or the Teen Titans, or the Justice Society).

My broad feelings on 52:

it is a very cool idea that is mostly well-executed, with an interesting spread of genres (Zen-inflected international noir, bloody cosmic odyssey, royal familial tragedy, mystical detective fiction, mad scientist wackiness) so it never feels too samey.

the art is generally solid though not my absolute favorite, carried by strong breakdowns courtesy of Giffen - there’s a diversity of styles, which is…not really my preference, but many of those styles are well-executed

it's interesting to see creators with such diverse focuses and instincts working together; the notes in the trade paperback collection give insight into certain decisions (as well as what the writers are still frustrated by)

the best parts are those core plots, and often I felt like the additional connective tissue was basically unnecessary other than to give a sense of what these other characters were doing during the "timeskip" - fanservice, in short

my main exception to the above point is the updates on the Trinity (well, Wonder Woman is a bit shafted, but what else is new), which are generally fun, sweet, or interesting - I especially like the detail that none of the three are seen in costume, and Batman's trip to the desert and Nanda Parbat is a great addition/prelude to Morrison's run on the character

I think a re-read would probably be pretty rewarding given how many twists there are throughout (most of which are well-seeded or reasonably justified after the fact)

A DEFINITIVE RANKING OF THE CORE PLOTS OF 52

The Question: Out of all of these storylines, this is the one that I think you could carve off into its own trade paperback or limited series and it would work basically just as well - BUT weaving it into the other storylines, and the week-by-week/day-by-day format, is mutually enriching. Has me really excited for the new Question ongoing series. Its zen and existential themes, inherited from the great Denny O'Neil series to which it is functionally a legacy sequel, also tie in nicely to the overall theme and idea of 52 as a series: the embrace of potentiality and change, that to go on living is the perpetual, repeated asking of a question. What are you going to become?

Plus we get redheaded dyke Batwoman!

Ralph Dibny: A bit undercut by editorial interference, and it *really* relies on its finale to pay off. But Elongated Man's investigation of some oddities surrounding his wife Sue's death, and his subsequent (apparent) near slip into mystical madness, is a compelling look at grief and how we honor and remember the people we have lost. Comes with an excellent last-act twist and a bittersweet resolution that I'm fond of.

The Black Marvel Family: It's an excellent grand tragedy. The middle, Osiris-heavy section spins its wheels a bit and the resolution is too neat; the emotional closing of the storyline is about Adam's relapse into unleashing his rage on the world, the disintegration of Isis as his (perhaps unhealthy) paragon of virtue, the confirmation of his belief that the world is hard and cruel and not worth taking care of. However, once Isis is gone, Adam's reversion to type results in a loss of emotional agency, turning him into a problem to be solved with overwhelming force by other characters. Still, I love the arc of the story, and the Sobek twist is NUTS.

The Space Trio (and Lobo): The wayward trio of Starfire, Adam Strange, and Animal Man don't have the most natural or developed rapport, though the genuinely insane addition of Lobo to this cast adds some levity. And this story feels oddly isolated from the rest, which makes sense because it focuses on characters trying to return home from outer space. However, it is an adventure with a lot of cool antagonists and out-there concepts, something of a cosmic rollercoaster, and the way it all wraps up (except for Starfire, who gets the short end of the stick throughout) is very funny.

Booster Gold: Very solid superhero stuff with some intriguing time travel twists and turns. The arc of Booster Gold going from showboating selfish bastard to the champion of the multiverse is very fun, if familiar.

Oolong Island: This is pretty madcap, with some focus on some *really* obscure characters, but it also feels like it exists purely to provide some connective tissue for the Black Marvel story (as well as something to care about once he goes insane with rage), which makes these pages less engaging to me than the ones they're supporting. Also, I find the depiction of "The Great 10," China's "public servant" superheroes, kinda questionable!

Infinity Inc.: The story of Lex Luthor bringing superpowers to the masses via his "Everyman" project has some really standout moments, like the pictured execution of a fledgling speedster superhero by Luthor. But it flits between incredibly dark and exceedingly schmaltzy at a whim, and hits the same beat for a long time (generational division, Steel squabbling with his niece). It's all a little Saturday morning cartoon for my tastes right down to the moral lesson about adult/child communication; next to the Question stuff, or even the Booster Gold and Oolong Island stuff, it feels really unadventurous.

[houseofloveconcerts]

The Faux Paws

The Faux Paws have a problem. They’re a triangle band in a land of circles. Musically impossible to describe, they don’t even fit into todays often hyphenated-genre world. No fan, industry expert, nor member of the band can seem to sum up this band’s sound in any kind of marketable way. They continue to remain a singularly unique outfit in the acoustic music community, always on the fringes, always memorable and with an increasing number of die-hard fans who feel like they’ve uncovered a secret.

Is it bluegrass? Not usually. Old-time? Occasionally. Is it Celtic? Can’t quite say that. Is it Folk? Americana? Jazz? Singer-songwriter? None of the above, but members of the Paws have deep ties to all of these traditions and blend their elements effortlessly to serve whatever musical idea is being presented. 

So what can we say? This band takes risks. They’re dynamic, exciting, sincere, irreverent, infectious, and surprising. They move deftly between moods, influences and instruments but always maintaining a “groove” that pulses through the music like a heartbeat (you may not always be aware it’s there but it gives the thing life). 

A Faux Paws live show is an explosive roller coaster ride that brings the audience along. Virtuosity on the fiddle, mandolin, guitar and saxophone, sure, but also vulnerability, personal lyrics, tight 3-part brother harmonies, playful interplay, intricately arranged details and soaring improvisations. 

According to FolkAlley.com its Trad. Their self-titled 2021 release was named one of the 10 Best Trad albums of the year from around the world. With the considerable success and praise the band has seen since coming out of the pandemic the Paws decided to add long-time friend and collaborator Zoe Guigueno (Fish & Bird, Della Mae) to their touring outfit on upright bass. Zoe only deepens the group’s already massive sound while freeing each member up for more creative expression on their various instruments. 

Need more? Well a few points people usually notice: the saxophone that behaves in ways they’ve never heard. An oft-heard ‘compliment’ to Grammy nominated multi-instrumentalist Chris Miller is “I thought I was going to hate the saxophone!” Fiddle-phenom Noah gets most of the attention on his feet – due to his unique approach to his Quebecois-style foot-percussion he’s developed. Combined with his jaw-dropping array of percussive chopping elements on the fiddle he contains the sound of a full band on his own. Except its his brother Andrew carefully executing complimentary chords and riffs on the guitar that makes Noah’s sound what it is. 

But spending too many words talking about this stuff detracts from the fact that it’s the original songs – and heart – that keep folks coming back for more year after year. In the band’s 12th year they returned to the studio and emerged with an EP showcasing a huge amount of music in a 5-track sampler. The live-energy of the newly minted quartet is on full display, with very little added. The Backburner EP was released in April 2023 and reached Billboard’s Top 10 Bluegrass Albums. It will be fun to watch writers take another stab at describing it. 

[crossdressingdeath]

#this explains it well actually i think#like yeah. as soon as DA became a series they decided to stop bothering with actual paths and make their own story to follow. which would be#fine if they didnt keep making the games with the appearance of your choices affecting the world at large#and thus a lot of things that end up being huge issues seem to stem from bioware not actually considering or caring about what sort of#actions would affect the actual plot#idk this ramble doesnt make sense and its a long way to say i agree with op (tags via @faroresson)

I wouldn't say Bioware "stopped bothering" with "actual paths" when DA became a series. First because the use of "stopped" implies DAO had actual branching paths (some choices unlocking different options along the same critical path isn't the same as the game having proper branching story paths, and given the origins all lead into the same story from Ostagar onward they're more roots than branches; honestly DAI with the mages vs Templars choice and DAV with the Minrathous vs Treviso choice give your choices more impact on the story, and even then it's just "which villain occupies Villain Slot B" in DAI and mostly side content and deciding which faction helps you out during the dragon rematch in DAV), but second because it's not a matter of them not bothering. It's a matter of proper branching story paths that change the main plot in any meaningful way being functionally impossible in a multi-game story (and honestly just unnecessarily complicated even in a single game unless having multiple separate branches is a part of the genre like in dating sims). Either they all have to end the same way outside of minor, flavour text-level variations (which is what Bioware did) or there has to be a True Ending that the next game is based on, because if the first game can have ending A and B and both those endings create radically different worldstates then if you want to take both into account the problem just gets shunted to the next game, where you have to have beginning A and B and either make them both merge into the same story early on or keep the A and B worldstate split the whole way through, and if you've got multiple endings for that second game too and they don't end the same you've got A1, A2, B1 and B2 to deal with going into the next game. And this happens again for the third game, and the fourth, and so on and so forth. If Bioware had done that then assuming two endings per game by DAV alone we'd be dealing with at a minimum eight significantly different worldstates just at the start of the game, which I think we can all agree no one could reasonably expect the writers to juggle. And that's just endings! I'm not even going to try to figure out how many major worldstate variations there could be if the most important decisions in the games created any significant variation in the plot. So it's not about whether Bioware cared about worldstate variation or wanted to allow for choices that created massive differences in Thedas depending on what option you picked or could be bothered to juggle significantly different worldstates; they straight up couldn't do that if they wanted actually writing the story for the next game to be at all feasible. The main plot can never be reliant on a variable, and on the flip side of that no variable can ever be something that would have a large impact on the main plot, and honestly I've never gotten the impression Bioware was claiming otherwise. Basically I firmly believe it's unfair to get angry at Bioware for the fact that every choice leads into roughly the same story, because it's wildly unreasonable to expect them to make significant changes to the worldstate and/or plot for every significant choice across at this point four games.

And the thing is it's really only DAI where them not doing that becomes a problem. The only choice in DAO that might have had a significant impact on Thedas as a whole (since you can't fail to defeat the Archdemon and both the Warden themselves and whoever ends up ruling Ferelden are mostly relevant to Ferelden, which we're specifically told is a backwater so all we had to do was leave Ferelden for it to no longer be plot-relevant) is the Warden's boon, which was quietly retconned when DA became a series. If the Architect survives Awakening he's staying well underground, so it makes sense that he doesn't show up in later games. The whole point of DA2 is that none of Hawke's choices change what ultimately happens on the larger scale of Thedas; the lyrium idol is found, the viscount is killed when the Qunari attack, and the mage rebellion is kickstarted no matter what choices Hawke makes, which makes it both a compelling tragedy and really easy to work around in terms of future games. Even in DAV the game always ends with Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain dealt with and Solas sealed away in the Fade where no one can talk to him to maintain the Veil; the most significant worldstate alteration is which city got blighted, and given we're shown the blight being pushed back from Minrathous after Elgar'nan and Solas are dealt with Bioware could easily get around that causing any major worldstate changes by a) avoiding Minrathous and Treviso in the next game and/or b) skipping ahead a few years and saying that the changes to the blight made it possible to cleanse much more quickly than it could be in the past.

It's not that your choices don't matter, it's that the writing is tailored so that the way they matter is roughly the same in the long run regardless of which you pick. Or to put it another way the decision points matter more than the decisions themselves; things like who rules Ferelden, who Hawke sided with and which city got blighted matter in that someone rules Ferelden thanks to the Warden, Hawke helped someone more or less win the day at the start of the mage rebellion, and a city was blighted in the dragon attack while Rook protected the other one. The exact details will ultimately come down to flavour text in future instalments, but the fact that the decision was made? That can matter. The issue is just DAI, because in DAI they did set up a bunch of things that should've had a major impact on the plot of the next game, but because they were variables none of them could. It's the fact that they handled it so well in DA2 and DAV (and even DAO to a lesser extent) that makes that failure to consider the writing of the next game stand out so much. I suspect that in DAI they had a lot of big, interesting ideas and there wasn't anyone to tell them "hey, we need to keep the fact that every option has to lead to a roughly equivalent worldstate in mind" before the game was shipped; as an example Mythal getting Urthemiel's soul is a really cool concept that they could've done some interesting things with! But it can't be important because it doesn't happen in every worldstate, and it would be... difficult at best to fit something like that into just flavour text. Basically at the end of the day DAI's choices are a problem because they should have had an impact on the plot moving foward. Not because they didn't.

You know what? I think a lot of DAV's biggest plot weaknesses ultimately come back to DAI, because a lot of them can be summarized as "Why didn't they get into [thing that DAI set up]" and... the answer is that Bioware was never going to be able to meaningfully engage with those things, and they should've known that when they wrote them into DAI. The Divine, Kieran's existence, Urthemiel's soul, the Well of Sorrows, all that stuff DAI set up that people are mad DAV didn't focus on? All of those should have led to pretty big alterations in the worldstate, and the worldstate has to remain roughly the same for everyone. We were never going to get the massive impact those choices should've had, for the same reason the Warden's boon at the end of DAO was quietly forgotten about as soon as Dragon Age became a series instead of a standalone game: the writing just can't support choices that would create such massive divergences. Like... take Urthemiel. Whether or not Mythal got Urthemiel's soul (and by extension whether or not Solas potentially had the chance to take it) should have been a huge deal! It should've led to two pretty different paths! Except... it can't. Because Bioware can only write one story for each game they make, which means the critical path can't really change beyond flavour text and occasionally which character gets a cameo slot; Mythal didn't get Urthemiel's soul in every worldstate, so Urthemiel's soul can never be relevant to the main plot. And the thing is, they would've known that going in! DAI was the third game, they must have known that worldstate variation could never be more than flavour text and cameos! Hell, you can see Bioware scrambling to make all the Divine options more or less the same in terms of impact on Thedosian society in DAI, which was definitely done to make writing sequels feasible. So why did they write Mythal getting Urthemiel's soul into DAI? And it's the same for all those other big, story-changing choices. People have differing opinions on the merits of including variable flavour text just to say it's there but that's not what this is about; in terms of the actual plot the variables cannot be relevant (unless it's something like the Warden ally choice where every option is ultimately the same in terms of plot impact, and even that one's pushing it; it never is explained how Hawke ended up friendly with Loghain). I think when talking about choices from DAI that DAV didn't engage with it's important to take a second to ask yourself if Bioware could have written a version of events that worked equally well with every possible outcome of that choice and could be tweaked to engage with every variation without having any major impact on the main plot. If the answer is no I think it's better described as a DAI problem than a DAV problem, because it's not actually DAV's fault that DAI wrote checks it couldn't cash.

[brunchable]

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be || Doctor Strange x Reader

Word count: 3.3K Genre: Angst. Break-up. Sad Ending. Brief Story Summary: To spite you, Stephen chooses to attend Christine's wedding instead. Strictly do not: claim, repost, copy, translate my stories anywhere else A/N: Hi, I haven't written in a while, I know. That's because I am recovering from a massive writer's burn-out. Not to mention, me working like a donkey for the past couple of weeks. BUT I am easing my way back to writing and is working on TWO requests that has been sitting in my drafts. Sorry for being MIA. Here's an angst that's collected dust in my files-

I never should’ve called, cause I know you’ll leave me. But I didn’t think you could do it so easily.

The cold winter morning left you feeling emptier than ever, it’s been about three weeks since Stephen left you hanging after you shamelessly begged him to stay. You find it hilarious that the song could describe how you were feeling inside, as if the universe was making fun of you for being blinded by love. You’ve had your heart broken before, but this, this was different. He was your soulmate. The aftermath of him has left you hollow. It feels like all of the hope and happiness have been sucked out of the world. A future is stolen, and in its place is left a desolate expanse of seemingly endless grey. Nothing is interesting or engaging.

Three weeks ago

The date of Christine's wedding was scheduled to fall on the same day as your birthday, and since Stephen received the invitation to the wedding, the bickering between you has not ceased. You and him planned for your birthday and had already decided that you were going to throw a big party at the vacation property that your parents own. It wasn't the fact that he was invited that infuriated you; rather, it was the realisation that you saw in his eyes the minute he read the letter and that he secretly wanted to attend the wedding. You knew somewhere deep in his heart that he wasn’t completely over her. He was heartbroken. 

At the dining table, you maintained an ominous silence the whole time. Nobody volunteered to start the conversation since your pride prevented you from doing so, and he had the same problem. You ate in silence while maintaining an irritated expression on your face and steadfastly avoiding looking at him. You were aware that he was sometimes staring in your direction, and he was aware of the tension that was emanating from you. After a few minutes of stillness, you heard him sigh, which is likely an indication that he was becoming more uncomfortable with the situation.

“Are you really not going to talk to me?” His patience was becoming thin and it was clear that he was losing it because of the flat tone in which he posed the question.

You paid him no attention and continued slicing into your steak. You never enjoyed hearing that tone, and despite this, your stubbornness always manages to get the better of you. Inside, your anxiousness was eating you up.

“What is the point of me taking you out for dinner when you’re not going to talk to me?” He continued, “I didn’t take you out to start fighting.”

It seemed more like a sneer to him, when you laughed, you rolled your eyes at him and then shook your head.

“What? Am I wrong?”

“You took us out for dinner because you’re thinking about going to your ex's wedding instead of spending time with me tomorrow.” You declare, with resentment pouring through your teeth, that you made a concerted effort not to raise your voice in order to avoid attracting the attention of other people.

Stephen tried to settle himself down by clenching his jaw and closing his eyes for a few seconds. He used one hand to wipe his face, and at that point the two of you were staring angrily at one other.

“No,” He denies, “I took you out because I wanted to make things up the other night.” He said as-a-matter-of-factly but you don’t believe him—not until you hear him say that he wasn’t going to attend Christine’s wedding.

“Sure. Whatever.” You responded with sarcasm, which appeared to light the fuse that he already had, which was really rather short to begin with.

“Honestly… and if I go, what is so wrong about that?” He finally snapped, “It’s not like I’m going there to sleep with her. She’s my friend.”

You took a deep breath in and slightly threw your head back, “Oh my god! Are you kidding me right now? You really don’t know what’s wrong? You already said yes to me, we’ve planned this out for months! And now you are basically ditching me for your ex. What? Do you still have feelings?”

Stephen let out an exasperated sigh, “I’m not going to be there all day! Come with me if you want to.”

“Ah…so you are going. Wow. You're not even going to deny that you don't have feelings left for her? Fine, go there instead if you want to satisfy how hung up you still are.”

Stephen pinched the bridge of his nose, chucking the napkin on the table after wiping his mouth. He poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek while exhaling before saying, “That’s it. I'm not going to deal with this right now.” 

He rose up, grabbed his phone, as well as the cheque book. You stayed motionless in your seat, your eyesight progressively growing fuzzy as tears spilt over your eyes. You brushed them off swiftly with the back of your palm before they dropped. 

Stephen walked out of the restaurant without you. You were conscious of the fact that anyone around may have overheard the conversation between the two of you, and as a result, you were physically unable to move. Furthermore, you were too ashamed to get up and leave the place. 

Surely he would come back, he always does. You decided to wait it out and remain put for a half an hour before you realised that you had really angered him, and he would not be coming back to collect you. You forced yourself to swallow the terrible constriction that had formed in your throat as you took out your phone while your hands were trembling in order to call an Uber to take you back home.

You immediately regret saying those words, but it hurts you that he couldn't realise why the whole situation made you upset. You feel like he doesn't even care. That evening, when you returned home, you started sobbing uncontrollably the instant you set foot inside your home. You tried phoning him throughout the whole night, but your call was automatically sent to his voicemail. As a result, you waited all night for him to either call you back or leave a text message, but neither of those things happened. You experienced a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and frustration all at the same moment. You weren't sure which of the two things that stung more, the fact that he didn't come back or the fact that he couldn't deny whether or not he still had love for Christine. You were so upset that you cried yourself to sleep, and the following morning you were startled awake by the sound of your phone.

You leapt up and grabbed your phone, thinking it was Stephen who was calling you, but it was really your mother who was on the other end of the line. You felt a pit in your gut, but you answered the phone nonetheless.

“Happy Birthday my darling! Just letting you know, we’ve started decorating the house! I can’t wait for you and Stephen to arrive later.” She mused excitedly from the other line, “What time will you two be arriving?”

“Thanks, Mom. Um… I’m not sure about that. I still need to get a hold of Stephen.” You answered with a voice sounding raspy and exhausted. 

“Oh, alright. You sound sick, are you okay?” 

“No I’m not sick, I just woke up.”

“I see, well, get your goofy butt up and get ready. We’re all so excited to see you.” Your mother chuckled.

“Okay, Mom. I’ll see you later. I love you.”

“I love you too, darling. Bye-bye.” She replied and hung up the phone. You locked your screen and turned it back on. Zero missed calls, zero texts from Stephen. So that’s how it is? Fine. You thought to yourself and put your phone in flight mode.

You packed a small bag with a few of your clothing inside it—whether you were going to stay the night with your family, you weren’t sure but you packed clothes just in case. 

You were still holding out hope that Stephen would leave a message when you got into your vehicle, so you briefly put your phone into flight mode before getting in. However, he didn't. You dialled his phone number once again, and this time it rang. As you waited for him to take up the call, your heart started pounding in your chest.

“Hello?” You were greeted by Stephen in an icy manner. You refrained from speaking because you were frightened that if you did, you would immediately start crying once again.

“So it’s like that huh?” You barely managed to mask your brokenness with anger.

“If you’re going to pick a fight, I’m just going to hang up.” 

You scoff in disbelief at his indifference, “Fine, hang up. I assume you’re not going to be attending my birthday then? Awesome. Have fun at your ex’s wedding.” You ended the call with him before he could and threw the phone on the passenger seat before getting back behind the wheel with tears streaming down your cheeks. 

You felt the phone vibrate and saw his name appear on the screen, but you ignored the alert and let the phone continue to ring. It's likely that he tried calling you more than ten times before he eventually gave up and started sending you text messages instead, but you were probably too preoccupied with avoiding an accident while driving on the highway to pay attention to his calls.

Your eyes seemed to have less puffiness by the time you arrived at the vacation house, which is a fortunate development. The majority of your visitors had already arrived, and some of them arrived at the same time as you, with food or gifts in their hands. When you walked in, you brought a smile to everyone's faces, and everyone gave you a warm embrace while wishing you a happy birthday.

“Where’s Stephen?” One of your cousins asked you, finally noticing that you came alone. 

“Oh, something came up. I don’t think he’ll be coming.” You lied and pulled up a smile though it was painful knowing that he’s elsewhere. 

You were aware that by the end of the night, you were going to be quite worn out; nonetheless, you had to put on an act of happiness and behave as if nothing was happening, which was a difficult thing to do. However, despite the fact that you were putting up such a convincing front with your grin, your mother was able to see right through it. She called your name and then took you into the kitchen, which was the area of the house where the majority of the visitors were not congregating.

“So, are you going to tell your mother what’s really going on with you?” She tilted her head as she poured you a glass of wine. 

You stare at your mother while you think about your words, “Um… I don’t think Stephen will be coming at all.” 

Your mother frowned when you told her the truth, “Oh honey, I’m sorry. Did you guys fight again?” 

You nodded, feeling a sensation of heat as you tried to fend off your tears, “It was my fault—I provoked him. Ugh this has got to be the worst birthday of my life.” 

“Think optimistically, maybe he just needs to cool down. I’m sure he’ll come.” Your mother hugged you by the side and kissed the side of your head.

“I don’t want to think at all—this one just feels different, I wish he would come but I have a feeling he won’t.” You shook your head, eyebrows pinched together. You hung your head over your mother's shoulder with your chin and lips quivering out of fear that this moment may mark the beginning of the end of everything.

You didn’t want to lose him. You were scared to lose him. 

“Shhh, It’s going to be okay,” Your mother hushed you and petted your hair.

As the morning turned into afternoon, afternoon turned into evening, and evening turned into night, there was still no evidence that Stephen was ever going to show up. You got up and went outside to get your phone from your vehicle, which you had purposefully left there so that you wouldn't be able to check to see whether he had contacted you or not.

You turned it on to see 50 messages and 30 missed calls. Your anxiety went through the roof as you found courage to open the messages he sent.

From: Sir Vincent — Pick up the phone.  — If you keep acting this way I will really go to her wedding. — I have limited patience (Y/N).  — Ha… — You’re really not going to answer? Fine.  — Don’t expect me to come by later. I don’t want to fight. — Call me back when you clear your mind.

You scrolled down, refusing to read anymore. You slowly slid down the side of your car and crouched into a foetal position, you were lacking strength to support yourself. You begin to sob, you felt like he’d stabbed you in the chest with his cruelty but instead of feeling angry with him, you blame yourself for not being able to hold back your emotions regarding Christine this time.

An overwhelming sensation of weariness washes over you, sapping what little strength you had left in you along with it. You sobbed incessantly until you were unable to regulate your breathing anymore, and you began to suffocate on the air that you breathed in.

You decide to call him back and within three rings he answers your call but you are greeted by nothing but silence.

“You told me to call you back.” You spoke first, words strangled in your throat.

“We need to talk.” He said plainly, his tone dark and serious.

“We are talking.” 

“I meant face to face.” 

“Well I can’t teleport like you. If you want to talk face to face, you know where I am.” You replied to him, your voice clearer. Stephen hangs up and a second later the glow of light appears a few feet away from you. 

Stephen saw you hunched down and little next to your vehicle, the whites of your eyes red from the many tears you had shed for him. Stephen sauntered towards you and offered you a hand, “Come on. Let’s take a walk.”

You gave his hand a quick glance before accepting it, and he lifted you to your feet. As soon as you made contact with his hand and followed him down the path that goes to the park, all of the resentment you had previously had against him melted away in an instant. 

“I wanted to talk about us.” He began, “I’ve been thinking maybe we need to take a break.”

Your heart twisted and your face crumpled like a used tissue, you turned grey as your head snapped in his direction, “A break?”

“There is no easy way of saying this but you’re right, I have a lot of baggage I need to unload and I feel like it’s not the right time.” 

Hearing him say that pushed an ache against your heart. Why here? Why now?

"I can’t love you fully when I’m being held back."

"Did you really love me though? When you never even said it back?" As soon as you let out that question, you had a feeling that you would come to deeply regret having listened to the answer. He's motionless, and you have a gut feeling that you already know the answer.

Whatever they were, what they had was all based on a lie. You had given yourself permission to open yourself to him and to fall in love with him once again. You are aware of the risks, yet you went ahead and did it anyway, disregarding them. Maybe you wouldn't be here if you'd paid attention to the pain that was developing in your chest sooner. If you had succeeded in putting him back together, he wouldn't be standing here and crushing your heart right now.

"I'm sorry," he whispers and you just shake his head, pressing your lips into a thin line. Your face contorted as though you were struggling not to cry.

"No I don't think you are. If you were sorry you would have left the minute you realised you didn't feel the same. I love-" you paused. "Love you. I trusted you with my heart and you broke it anyways—and yet here I am ready to forgive you, because I don’t want to lose you.”

His eyes misted over after hearing those words, “We can’t build a relationship with broken pieces (Y/N). It’s just not going to work.” 

You positioned yourself in front of him and gave him a tight embrace, “Don’t go, please. I’m sorry.” 

While Stephen struggled to free himself from your hold on his body, his hands were firmly wrapped around your arm, “(Y/N), don’t make this hard for me—”

“No! Don’t leave me. I love you Stephen.” 

Stephen manages to pull off your arms around him and he firmly holds them in front of you, “If we’re really meant to be, we’ll meet each other again in the future—but right now, I can’t be with you.” 

You shook your head and when Stephen felt that you weren’t putting up a fight anymore, he lets you go, “I’m so sorry, but we’re over.” 

You drop to the ground, the look in your eyes was desolate, you refuse to think this was real, you heard Stephen ask you to stand up but you didn’t have the strength to. He opens up a portal in front of your house and transports both of you there. With that he turns and walks away and you sit there abandoned. 

Then you get the realisation that no, this is not a dream. You have a sick feeling in your stomach. You get tunnel vision. You start to feel furious and sad, confused and numb all at the same time while your heart races. You don't cry right away, there is too much for your body and mind to put together in this instant.

Now you feel like you have no value. No one is ever going to make you feel as he did. All of those wonderful times, the warmth between the two of you, the memories you shared, and the hopes you had for the future are no longer there. Just you, alone. It may go on forever. This would continue on for a long time, with varied degrees of intensity during the process. You may make an effort to go about your day-to-day existence, but you are a raw nerve, and the simplest incident has the potential to trigger off an embarrassing emotional display on your part. Perhaps you throw a punch at the wall. It's possible that you suddenly start crying for no apparent reason.

You are sitting there stunned, wishing you could go back in time and change the previous few minutes so that you could say anything or do something else. You come to the realisation that it wasn't those final few minutes, but rather that it had been building up for a while, and that you were just in denial about it. It's too late to deny it now. It's too late, and there's nothing you can do about it. You may make a valiant effort to do so, but succeeding will simply strip you of whatever dignity that you may still have. Therefore, you accept the reality that a significant portion of your life has come to an end.

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