#it’s so weird to me because none o

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Just got my employee evaluation and despite the numerous new tasks getting piled on me, I’m at “meets expectations” which is good but the perfectionist in me is 🙃

[justinefrischmanngf]

i need to get over myself and learn the languages i want to learn if i want to learn them like i just need to do it if i want to learn them then i should go out and learn them and like . fuck whatever else any of it means . yes it IS embarrassing to learn a language like the ones i want to learn as an adult but who CARES and yes i KNOW my grandparents will never want to speak to me in those languages but who CARES if it's important to me it can be important to me anyway

[simpjaes]

exhibition ― s. jy

Requested by anonymous via tumblr: cam boy jake. That’s it.Jake is your college roommate and he needs to buy a camera for his online classes. Curiosity gets the better of him, leading to a lot of extra money and, well, finding out that you’ve been a little too curious about what he's doing.  Or the one where your roommate flaunts his secret job at you, not thinking you’d go out and search for him. And definitely not thinking you’d be getting off to him either.

MDNI

WORDCOUNT― 4.9k

PAIRING― cam boy jake x afab reader

CONTENT―  college setting but it’s mosting within the apartment they share, cam boy jake, confused best friend reader, smut WARNINGS― none but brief mention of mommy kink in passing

NOTE―this isn't proof read ;o;

 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Seven hundred.” 

“What?” “That’s how much I made last night,” Jake’s eyes shine brighter and brighter with each word, a crooked smile plastered across his face as he sleepily blinks. “I didn’t even have to do anything weird either.” 

You pause as you sip your morning coffee, wrapped up in a blanket and head pounding at the amount of stress and work you’ve had to get done while he was too busy playing with himself on camera for dozens of people. Or maybe hundreds. Thousands?

“What did you do then?” You raise a brow, not entirely checked in on his boasting this morning, though it is impressive.

Jake always shares how much he makes after each session. What started with fifteen dollars is now reaching seven hundred. Surely your best friend isn’t just jerking off, right?

“Well, it was a little weird, but not that bad.” He avoids the question with a vague answer, suddenly feeling his face heat up. “Just a little here and there, y’know?”

You narrow your eyes instantly. So he does do weird shit for money! You knew it! No way could someone make that much money in such a short span of time by regular jerking off. 

“Just a little what?” You stare him down, now placing your coffee on the table and leaning towards him. He knows better than anyone that you, of all people, can point out if he lies. Meaning, he has to be honest. 

And so, he shrugs, trying to be nonchalant about it. 

“Mommy.” He says it like he’s saying any other word, as if he’s uncaring, as if it was worth the money. “Just had to say it a few times and the money came pouring in.” 

Your eyes narrow at him even more.

“What else?” You question. “There’s no way they’d accept it unless you…”

He raises his brow at you now, tilting his head in cheeky curiosity. 

“Unless I cried? Edged? Let them torture me a little bit?” He smiles. “Yeah, I know.”

You’re a bit shocked, the images of what that must have looked like for his viewers forcing your curiosity to grow. His smug face looking back at you now serves as proof that he very well may be into that kind of thing. Almost like he’s sharing a kink with you, which…is not something the two of you do. 

Despite being roommates, and without any mention of how long you’ve been friends, sex has never been a topic until he started this whole camboy thing. 

You remain calm though. This is Jake you’re talking to. He’s the last person you want to see drooling and cumming all over himself. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Okay so, you’re a liar. 

All day, all fucking day you’ve thought about it. It’s not that you’re into the kink, or even that you’re into Jake. You’re just…curious about how smug he is about it. And yeah, it’s probably just a huge confidence boost to have all sorts of people rubbing one out to you while paying your bills, but still. 

You’re only a liar because that so-called confidence makes him more open about it. More loud. More comfortable. More…horny? 

You can tell by now, weeks after he started. You could never hear a peep from his bedroom, not a single moan or sigh at first. Now though, he’s only gotten louder. You hear the moans, the dirty talk into his camera, the usernames, all of it.

“Thank you–mmf– cumslut2000.” 

God, you hate that you didn’t cringe hearing him say that. It was the moan mid-sentence maybe, or the sultry tone you’ve never heard from him until now. You can’t help but squeeze your legs together with an annoyed groan, practically leaping for your headphones shortly after because, absolutely the fuck not.

Not Jake. It’s too weird. 

And the days pass like that, casual with him as he discusses his pay where you no longer question because now you’d just think too hard about the details. The nights pass like that too, where he’s louder, louder, louder, until you can almost hear him through your muffled videos and playlists. 

Until you are forced to feel the arousal just like the rest of his viewers. You can’t escape the attraction despite wishing, hoping, fucking praying for your head to stop wanting to hear more. 

You know better than anyone though, hoping and praying does nothing for you and the only thing that will help this situation between your legs is seeing. Proving to yourself, so to say, that seeing Jake act like that will feel gross. It will turn you off. It will solidify that Jake is your best friend and your roommate, nothing more. 

It’s easy to find him too. All you had to do was abandon your headphones tonight, waiting for him to introduce himself via username to his stream. 

Doggystyle02.

That’s what he picked? He can’t be fucking serious. 

You’re excited as you google the username, enabling NSFW search and finding him within seconds. Excited to lose the interest that’s driving you up a fucking wall, that is. And before you click into his stream, you inspect.

Yeah, that’s definitely his abs oiled up in his profile picture. You choose to ignore his uh…thing under his sweats, heavy, leaving a little spot on the front of them. 

Oh, 23k followers? And he started two, maybe three months ago? People want Jake that badly? And you just…live here with him? You get to see him daily, and hear him playing all these kinky roles in real life? God, you just know if the viewers knew they’d be saying shit like “If i lived with you, I’d be on that cock every day.”  Blah, blah, blah. 

They don’t know Jake like you know him. He’s just a dude, not some sex god. 

Then…something in your gut stirs. It flips, it bubbles, your face warms up. The comments on his profile asking him all sorts of things, saying all sorts of things and he just…responds? Reciprocates? 

Cumslut2000 comments: god i want you to hold me down and make me take it

Doggystyle02: Don’t sweet talk me like that, you know how I get. 

Oh, does she now? How the fuck would she know anything about Jake. Your best friend. Your roommate. 

DPlover: can we plllleeease do another private show? 

Doggystyle02: book me for later, i’ll even give you a discount <3

Another private show?! A fucking discount?!  

Blushy: im too shy to talk when you’re online but i really, really want you.

Doggystyle02: you wanna talk in private? I’ll message you and bring you right out of that shell. let me take care of you baby

You’re speechless. During his private job, where he doesn’t share his name but he shows his fucking face, he publicly talks to people like this? He’s never so much as looked at you for too long after you’ve gotten out of the shower, yet he wants to take care of a fucking loser ass bitch who is too shy to talk to him? 

Sexually?! 

Safe to say, never in your life did you ever think you’d find yourself jealous of people who get Jake’s attention. To you, he’s always just been, well, Jake. The guy who ran up your apartment stairs on all fours the day you moved in, the boy who constantly did your homework for you in highschool because he knew you wouldn’t graduate with him if he didn’t, the absolute best friend who followed you to the same college, saved you from the dorms by becoming your roommate, and now…somehow, seems…more than just what he was before.

Surely you’re just horny though. Curious, in the mood, whatever. Anyone would be when there’s a porn set just a wall over, right?

You shake your thoughts, knowing you’ll just make yourself sick if you keep reading all of his little public comments and start wondering what he says in private to them. You scroll up instead, glancing at his abs again before your eyes land directly on what you were trying so hard to avoid. 

He’s kind of packing, you can’t lie. If he wasn’t Jake, you’d probably be ogling, rubbing out to him just like everyone else. Hah. You chuckle, shaking your head at your own stupidity, ready for these weird feelings to be eradicated the second you click into his stream. 

Except…jesus fucking christ.

The comments roll in faster than you can read. The money is pouring in, and he’s sitting there on camera with that same dopey grin he gives you every morning. There’s something else with his smile though, a little lip bite, some tongue darting action to wet his lips. Hair falling into his eyes…jesus. 

After a minute or two of staring at your best friend’s face, ignoring the movement of his shoulders attached to the hand that’s…doing something, a pop up covers his image entirely.

SIGN UP OR LOG IN TO CONTINUE WATCHING…

Never in your life have you signed up for something so fast, typing in a string of cute letters and numbers to differentiate yourself in the sea of horny viewers. And then his image is back, and your eyes trail straight down. 

Instantly you choke up, watching the way he uses his hands with that expression on his face. It really is just typical jerking off but…something about it. Something about the way he flicks his own nipples with a seething lip bite, bucking his hips up before shining his pouting eyes into the camera, as if wishing any or all viewers were there to do it for him. And god, the way he looks kind of wet? Like, oiled up or lotion, maybe lubed up, you don’t know. His hips slide that thing through his fist so easily, making squelching sounds all the while. 

That’s…that’s really him. And he’s not even ten feet from your bedroom door looking like this. Yet, you can’t bring yourself to get up and interrupt him.

What would you even do? What would you say? 

So, you just watch, completely forgetting that you were doing this to get rid of the curiosity, not feed into the sexuality of a man you’ve known for so long as nothing more than your closest friend. 

Over a thousand dollars made in just one stream by the time he logs off, and those moans echo in your brain. Hearing them so clearly through your headphones just…wow. And, well, you did your best. 

You swore you’d never get off to the image of Jake after all this curiosity started, it’s just, you can’t help it now. At least he wasn't on your screen, moaning and whimpering for all the faceless people watching. You waited. Your belly burned and your clit throbbed through all of it, and only when he made a mess of himself with that same fucking smile before logging off did you finally give yourself what you needed. 

You don’t know why you did that, and you don’t know why the muffled stream of his shower just down the hallways is what sticks in your head when you finally reach your own orgasm.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Over a thousand this time.” 

“Oh?” You awkwardly avoid his eye contact, stiffening your shoulders at the mere mention of his stream from last night. 

“Yeah, not sure why they gave me so much this time though…” He trails off briefly, inspecting your posture and sudden defensive stance. “I didn’t even do any of the kinks.”

Well…you know why he made that much. He wouldn’t even need to feed the fetish crowd to make a decent living off of this, not with a face like that, a cock like that. It’s only natural he starts making more and more with each lengthy stream.

“Yeah, that’s weird.” You answer shortly, rummaging through cabinets despite your lunch sitting on the table across from him. 

“Yeah…” He notes the shift, feeling tension in the air. “Are you okay?”

“What? Me?” You ground both feet on the floor now, abandoning the cabinet as you turn towards him and look to the floor. 

You can’t do it. You can’t look at him. 

“I’m perfectly fine, what gives you that idea?” 

You hear him stand from the table, taking his usual Jake-esque strides toward you. Then, he leans forward and tilts his head, chasing your eyes with his own and forcing you to look at him. 

“Well, you haven’t even looked at me all morning,” He smiles, tapping your chin. “Was I too loud or something? Did it make you feel awkward?”

Oh, an out! An excuse!

“No, no, I just –” 

Now, why the fuck did you say no? Why are you looking at him now, stopping mid-sentence entirely stunned because, yep, that’s him alright. You saw him cum. You watched him do it, you listened, and you fucking liked it.

And now you’re looking him in the face, and he’s giving you that same smile, and you’re…oh god.

“I–” 

He tilts his head again, blinking twice before narrowing his eyes. 

“Spit it out. What happened? Jay do something?” 

Your words are caught in your throat, cheeks hot, stomach doing flips…Your eyes glance down without intention, right to his groin and he sees it. He even pulls back a bit, looking surprised before softening his expression. 

“Don’t tell me you–” His voice is softer now too, but he calls out your name. “Why are you being so weird?”

You can tell he doesn’t want to make the assumption, and arguably, you’re bad at hiding things from him. 

“I kind of, like, accidentally saw your stream last night.” You say it so fast, avoiding eye contact again by embarrassingly staring right between his legs. “It feels weird now.”

He laughs. He fucking laughs, but it’s kind of like, a smug laugh? A chuckle? 

“Oh now it’s weird?” He rolls his eyes. “Relax, it’s not weird.” 

“It is though! You’re, well, you! I didn’t need to see that!” 

“Then why’d you watch?” He smirks, reaching a hand out to tilt your chin up at him again. And he’s done this many times in the past. Platonic, lovely little touches from someone who will protect and appreciate you. This though, this is…

“Go on. Tell me. Why is it weird now?” He encourages you to admit it. “Because you liked it?”

You remain silent, unwilling to answer. 

“I grossed you out?” 

“No!” An immediate disagreement there, one that only digs your hole deeper. “I just–didn’t expect that.”

“So you did watch it.” He leans back now, crossing his arms and staring you down. “Did you enjoy yourself?

What is he fucking asking right now? The worst part about this is if you don’t answer, it’s still a fucking answer. But you don’t want to like, lie, because already you couldn’t even make it through a fucking morning with him after seeing it. So, with the smallest voice you have, so small you hope he can’t hear it, you whisper. 

“Yes.”

And if you were to look him in the face right now, you’d have seen that smug look go to curiosity. You’d have seen the split second of his adoration for you merging with a new view, a new feeling, and possibly a new need.

“Wait, did you–?” He even feels a bit shy now, his ears practically on fire as he keeps his eye on you, and the way you curl in on yourself with the admittance. “Did you..touch yourself?”

A small nod, you squeeze your eyes shut. 

Then you hear him hold his breath, taking a step back from you. You’ve touched yourself to him, he can’t believe it. After all these years, never once looking at him like that…not even he looked at you like that but now?

He pictures it. The way you must’ve been in your room all alone, knowing what he’s doing, searching him up, then confirming it for yourself. You liked it. You liked what you saw and you got off to it. 

And now he can’t stop smiling. Proud, he feels proud. 

“Well, don’t feel weird.” He finally says, trying to ease your discomfort. “It’s just…a normal thing. I don’t think you’re weird.”

With that, the conversation dies, fades entirely into awkwardness as you both split off. 

You need space to think.

He needs space to think.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You’re doing it again, as if just this morning you didn’t have to bury yourself 6 feet under right in front of him. 

Neither of you spoke after that. Avoiding each other consistently throughout the day with knowing, growing, and exhausting tension. Yet still, he’s started his stream, and here you are, watching it with a dazed look. 

You don’t know how to feel or what to do. Your head doesn’t anyway, your body knows too well what it wants and needs, and you hate yourself for making it so awkward between the two of you. Why did you tell him? You wonder if he’d be uncomfortable knowing you’re watching again, this time knowing your hand will stray as you watch.

You wonder, and wonder, will he think you’re disrespecting your friendship by doing this not once, but twice? 

Then, you hear him. 

“Can we do some roleplay today?” He speaks out to the chat, cock pressing against his briefs, head tilted with his messy hair in the very computer chair you bought for him. 

Last time, he was sprawled out on his bed, and you wonder if he always starts his streams this way.

“I want you to imagine we live together, and you know I’m in my room fucking myself, begging, needy for anything, anyone to touch me.” He looks into the camera. “Let’s say you’d hear it too. I’m loud on purpose…”

“Tell me what you’d do to me.”

You stare forward blankly, frozen on the spot at his words, then your eyes flick to the chat. 

“You wouldn’t see the front door ever again.” 

“I’d be on you within seconds.”

“You wouldn’t even be able to turn your camera on, just come home and I'd be waiting.”

Oh. 

Jake hums at the responses, whispering them to himself. 

“Ah,” Jake reads a specific comment with a nod. “I’d be an idiot to not jump at the opportunity.”

And the rest of his words become muffled as your ears pop. Is he…talking about you right now? Was he expecting you to watch again? 

“If that ever happens to me, just know I’d be grateful for all of you. Running to help me feel good, you’re all so good to me.” He giggles now. Fucking giggles. “Alright, enough of that.” 

Jake stares into the camera again, and you can’t help it. It feels like he’s staring at you. Straight through your fucking soul at this point. 

“I have a lot of stress to relieve.” He ends on that note, skewing his pants down and making haste. 

He’s not slow or cute with it like he was before. He’s aggressive, almost frustrated. His eyebrows furrow, his lips become red from his biting and chewing, and you watch the money flood in.

The comments blurring past, words of, “Oh fuck,”  and “This is new.” before suddenly, you hear an irritated sigh. A string of curse words pour from his lips, his hand squeezing the base of his cock so tightly, and spurts of cum shooting up his chest, only to drip down slowly. 

“What a waste.” He comments shortly at himself, heaving in a breath before he breaks out into his usual smile. “Sorry to end on such a short note, just thought I’d let you guys join me for a quickie!” 

Then he’s gone, the stream lasting about ten minutes in total. 

And apparently so is your fucking sanity because why is it that now you find yourself getting out of your bed, feeling the wet between your legs drip, and you’re heading for your bedroom door just to get to him? 

Why is he standing right outside, as if he was already waiting for you to open it?

And it’s silent now as you stare at each other. Him, with his sweatpants skewed over his waist, cum still on his chest, breath still uneven. Then you, practically vibrating to get on him. 

“You’re looking at me like you want me to eat you out.” He says, already pushing you right back through your bedroom door, letting you flop back on your bed as he instantly pulls at your shorts. “Want me to kiss you first?”

You feel your head spin the second you flop back and feel your shorts being pulled off, and before you can even comprehend his question, he’s already kissing you. Hot, heated. He sounds just as frustrated as he did just minutes ago getting off by himself. You don’t even mind the cum on his chest, nor the way he spreads your legs with his knee to get more comfortable. 

It’s happening. This is what kissing Jake feels like. This is what everyone wants from him, but it’s you that’s getting it. Has he always been like this? Good at kissing? Firm with his movements? Confident as he kisses down, down, down, giving you what he thinks you want?

You do want it. Perhaps you were looking at him like you wanted him to eat you out, and now he’s doing it. Breathing shortly right against your clit without so much as savoring his view before diving in, tongue instantly licking from your hole straight to your clit and sucking.

He hums around the taste, both hands holding your inner thighs and keeping your legs open. And he just…keeps humming, licking and sucking you so good that you can’t help but cry out and tug at that fucked up mess of hair on his head. 

Jake likes that. He likes the way you hold your breath and the way your legs shake around his ears. He likes even more the way he knew you were watching him tonight, and that you looked like you were coming straight to his room to jump him. 

So strange how quickly things can change, so strange how good his best friend must have tasted all these years, and he had never once considered it. And now, he blinks up at you, seeing the way you close your eyes and breathe through it, like you’re calming yourself down, thinking both too much and not at all. 

Easily he runs his hands up and under your shirt, feeling the soft skin of your belly before gently running his palms over your perked nipples. He continues to stare up, watching you, tasting you, loving this a little more than he ever knew he would. 

He did want you, he does want you. His cock has been aching all day for you since the moment he found out you thought of him. Jake thinks you’d be tight, because lord knows you haven’t gotten laid in a hot minute, and that quick jerk off session was absolutely for you. 

He wants to show off to you, wants you to see him more than anyone else can. Yet, it’s you he’s seeing more of right now and he doesn’t mind that so much. 

His eyes flick back down, allowing his fingertips to toy gently with your nipples as he skews his head, essentially making out with your pussy, slurping the slick you offer and not letting a single bit of it go to waste. Then, he dips in, pointing his tongue right against your pulsing hole and pressing in. 

There’s that tug of his hair again, your legs squeezing around him and your hips bucking up. 

Oh, you like that. 

So, he does it harder and with more focus. He squeezes his eyes shut and prepares to not breathe for a bit, licking as far into you as he can, his nose easily pressing your clit in such a beautiful way that all you can do now is moan.

Genuinely moan for him. His name in a little hiccup followed by a curse. 

Fuck, you’re so hot to him right now. Anyone would be fucking lucky to be in your bed at all, and finally it’s him. As if he’s been waiting for years despite never needing a turn previously. 

And this continues until he can’t breathe, his fingers growing more needy against your tits, his tongue reaching deeply before pulling out and allowing him to take a deep breath that is scented entirely in you. Then, he fucking nuzzles it.

You glance down with a heaved breath, legs shaking as you watch him do it. Eyes closed gently, rubbing his nose and lips against your clit in such a gentle, loving way that it has you melting instantly. 

“Jake–” You whisper in a breath, the first word you’ve said to him since you opened your bedroom door. 

All he does is shoot his gaze to you and continues his nuzzles, uncaring of whatever you need to say if it isn’t you asking him to fuck you right now. And arguable, you have nothing to say anyway. 

You just…needed to say his name. Needed to solidify that you just broke a boundary with him willingly, and he doesn’t care. You don’t care. 

You feel the thumping in your chest, your clit throbbing with each little rub he lends before you sit up slightly on your elbows, balancing yourself before reaching a hand down. 

He leans into your palm on his cheek, like a puppy wanting love. Then his hands leave your chest and find their way to your hips. His doe eyes instantly sharpen, and you’re instantly being pushed back down to your bed.

“Want me to be whatever you want? Let you do whatever you want to me?” He finally says, licking his lips as he makes his way up to hover over you, making sure to lift your shirt enough to expose both of your tits. “Just like I ask?” 

You find yourself nodding before taking it back, shaking your head. 

“I don’t want it to be like that–” You trail off, avoiding his intense gaze and suddenly feeling very vulnerable under him. “I just want you. The Jake I’ve always had.” 

Another shocked look reaches his expression. He’s a bit surprised, assuming that all of this was simply because you watched his stream and didn’t expect to be so turned on. He thought this would be a one and done thing. A “let’s forget this ever happened,” thing.

But you want him? Not the acting? Not the kinks, or the cocky grinning? You want the best friend in him, the part of him that was never sexual, never confident, never willing to approach women. 

He looks at you in question. 

“I don’t know how to be that right now.” He finally says, pressing his hips down and against you with a choked moan. “How can I be that when I want to fuck you so badly?”

You find yourself smiling, running your hands through his hair to get it out of his face before shrugging. 

“When have we ever known what we were doing?” You ask quietly, wincing slightly at how hard he’s gotten, knowing that you’re not having to see him through a screen now. 

That’s all he needed to hear before keeping eye contact and reaching down with one hand. You can’t bare to look down, knowing some sort of embarrassing sound will leave your throat. You decide to feel it instead. 

And goddamn, do you fucking feel it. 

He slides in easily, but the size of him stretches you far past anything you could have imagined. This is him, he’s this big. This is what Jake’s cock feels like and it has your chest caving in over it. 

All you can do is hug him, clinging to him through the stretch and hoping the way your cunt squeezes around him isn’t hurting him. 

“God, fuck.” He says in a quick whisper, arms shaking to hold himself up as you hug him. “You’re so tight, fuck.”

You smile against his messy chest at the compliment, basking in it really before allowing yourself to freely adjust. Your body clenches him tightly, and he remains still through it until he can’t anymore. 

He drops to the bed, flush against you without warning and the moans start pouring from his chest. He can’t stop even if he wanted to, can’t control his hips, his words, his thoughts.

He just lays here flush against you, letting his hips move freely and rapidly. In, out, in, out. So clumsy, so loud, and goddamn does it feel fucking amazing.

You moan alongside him, petting his hair with each thrust, feeling his cheek against your tits move with each drop of his jaw. Even when his moans are silent, you know he feels good and that makes you happy. 

None of those little bitches in his chat could get him like this, surely. He’s not acting right now. He’s Jake.

And that’s what makes it so good, you think. That’s why he has so much cum to put in you, apologizing through it all because the fear of this act comes with the orgasm. Apologizing for fucking you, for cumming in you, for getting off so quickly, promising you that he’ll make you cum too. 

It’s then that you realize, when he’s got his face back down between your legs, sucking his mess out of you…maybe you have feelings now.

And maybe that’s not such a bad thing either. 

 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

remember that you can get early access and/or tip me via patreon! love and comments would be appreciated <3<3<3<3

[bokunoheros]

ཐིཋྀ KINKTOBER DAY 9 - virginity loss : izuku midoriya

warnings : virginity loss (izuku), afab reader, mentions of body counts, non-relationship hookup (but deku has a thing for reader), reader calls izuku “izu”, oral sex (izuku receiving), reader has decent sized boobs, cliffhanger kind of

word count : 840

🐙 note : none

it wasn't really surprising that izuku was a virgin, hell i’m sure anyone could’ve guessed that much. the conversation took a weird turn when discussing izuku’s fated rival; katsuki bakugo. izuku explained that katsuki is a well known bragger who loves to flaunt his body count, he constantly expresses how izuku will never catch up to him and how because the boy has no experience no girl will ever want to sleep with him.

“well… do you wanna have sex with me?”

the question stuns izuku, turning him bright red and causing him to panic, he asks if you’re sure and mumbles about how there’s no way someone like you would ever wanna sleep with someone like him! he continues to go on a ramble about how you’re just so cool and pretty and your quirk is amazing and, and, and–

you stop and put your hands on izuku’s shoulders, he freezes and stares with a blank expression.

“we can have sex izuku, i don’t mind teaching you.”

izuku feels a mix of many emotions; pride, worry, confusion, just to name a few. slowly you drag izuku by the hand into your bed, gently laying him down and getting on top of him.

“don’t worry deku, just relax.”

“o-okay! i’ll do my best!”

you almost laugh at the poor guy, as optimistic as ever. you find yourself somewhat shocked at the way midoriya feels beneath you, despite being on the shorter side he was far from a twig; you could feel his solid abs and thick thigh muscles.

“have you ever had your dick sucked izu?”

“umm… no?”

“do you want me to?”

izuku nods enthusiastically, you get off his lap and lower yourself towards his thighs. carefully you settle between them, looking up at him with eager eyes that causes him to go red all over. you gently remove his basketball shorts and are met with his bare thighs and black boxers, you unexpectedly gawk at him, surprised by his muscle and pretty good size. pulling off his boxers you find that he’s about 5.7 inches, thick and red from embarrassment.

you look up to him for approval and he sends you a thumbs up, you giggle at his dorky behaviors. you lightly grab his length and izuku’s breath catches in his throat. keeping eye contact with him you slowly lick up his side and kiss his pretty pink tip, izuku shutters at the feeling and finds himself struggling not to make noise.

“you can make noise y’know, you have a cute voice.”

midoriya can hardly think, the feeling of your warm hand and breath by his cock too much for him to handle. he simply hums at your words and tells you he’s okay, you smile at him and continue to give his cock attention.

you swirl your tongue around his tip, using your hand to massage his extended length. taking his tip into your mouth you suck lightly and izuku swears he could see stars, he wonders if kacchan feels this good when he gets head. suddenly his thoughts get interrupted when you take the whole of him into your mouth, he gasps, unable to contain himself he brings his hand to your head and tugs on your hair making you moan onto his cock. izuku is whimpering and thrashing about, so much so that it’s affecting your ability to properly suck him off.

“izu, stop moving so much.” you manage to get out with your mouth still surrounding his cock.

with his eyes closed and head back he lets out a strained “uh-huh” and bucks his hips into your mouth, you moan at his length and he can’t help himself from doing it again.

“i’m sorry-sorry it feels–sososo good”

now izuku is practically face fucking you, albeit gently, he’s thrusting into your mouth and tugging lightly on your hair. you look up and find him absolutely lost, one hand on his abs and his mouth wide open, gasping and panting for air.

“ah! feels-feels funny, is this s-supposed to happen?”

you hum around his dick and he continues to push himself onto your tongue, you move your tongue up and down on him to encourage him closer to the edge.

eventually you feel a warm and thick substance invading your mouth, letting you know he came. izuku is panting and groaning, trying to catch his breath. he immediately lets go of your hair and rambles continuous apologizes, you have to force your mouth into his in order to get him to shut up.

he melts into the kiss, slightly unsure of quite how to kiss. his hands remain at his sides, too scared to touch you, unsure of where his hands should be.

you break the kiss and grab his hands, moving them onto your waist and breasts. izuku seems hesitant but eventually squeezes the areas softly. he’s kind of surprised, your skin was so soft and warm and your boobs were so squishy and bouncy.

“do you think you can go for more?”

[itneverendshere]

lucky strike - r.c

pairing: kelce's!sister x hockey!rafe warnings: none.

The party was supposed to be fun. Emphasis on supposed to be.

Your brother had dragged you along, promising it would be “chill,” throwing out all his usual excuses—“It’ll be fun, you never go out, and besides, you know everyone there”—but you should’ve known better.

Now you were stuck in a house full of drunk college students, loud music, and—worst of all—a guy who wouldn’t leave you alone.

He’d introduced himself as Jake—or maybe it was Jack; you didn’t care—and you’d been polite at first. A quick smile, a couple of sentences before excusing yourself. But he didn’t get the hint. 

He was following you around like a lost puppy, trying to impress you with stories about his car and his “networking connections,” whatever the hell that meant. 

“Oh, yeah,” Jake was saying now, his voice raised to compete with the music. “They’re starting me at, like, six figures. But, you know, I told them I’d think about it.”

You sipped your drink to keep from rolling your eyes. “Wow, that’s… something.”

“So, anyway,” he was saying as you edged toward the hallway, “if you ever want to, like, grab dinner or something, I know a great spot. And If you ever want to come down to Florida, I could totally show you around. Take you out on my boat.”

You nodded absently, scanning the room for an excuse, but your brother was nowhere in sight, and every doorway seemed blocked by a crowd.

“You and me? A weekend getaway?”

You froze, brainstorming for an excuse. “Oh, uh—”

Then you saw him in all his glory, Rafe Cameron.

He was leaning against the wall near the kitchen, a drink in one hand, his other casually tucked into his pocket. His messy blond hair looked like he’d just stepped off the cover of some ridiculous sports magazine. You hated that he was your only option right now.

(You didn't.)

Rafe Cameron was your brother’s best friend since diapers, your public enemy number one on your worst days. Your stomach did that stupid little thingy it always seemed to do when you saw him, and you hated it.

You cut Jake or Jack off, raising your hand.

“I need to go—uh—find my boyfriend.”

Jake blinked. “Your what?”

“My boyfriend,” you repeated, internally cringing at the word and already walking through the crowd toward Rafe. “He’s waiting for me.”

Ugh. You don’t like Rafe, you don’t even think about Rafe. 

“Cameron,” you said when you reached him, grabbing his sleeve. “Need your help.”

Rafe turned, his blue eyes looking down to where your hand gripped his arm. Then he looked back up at you, his lips curving.

“Didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that.”

“I’m serious.”

His smirk widened. “Even better. What’s going on, princess?”

You glared at him. “Some guy won’t leave me alone. He’s been following me around all night, and I need you to—”

“Who?”

You shook your head quickly, knowing that look in his eyes meant trouble and black eyes.

“We’re not doing the ‘caveman throws a punch’ thing. I just need you to pretend to be my…” You paused, the word catching in your throat. “Pretend to be my…”

Rafe tilted his head, watching you squirm. “Your what?”

You shuddered at the thought. “My…boyfriend.”

His smirk was back in full Cameron force. “What was that?”

You crossed your arms in defiance, refusing to let him win this. “You heard me.”

“I heard you,” Rafe nodded, leaning closer, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Just didn’t think I’d live to see the day you called me your boyfriend.”

“Fake boyfriend,” you clarified through gritted teeth. “Don’t make this weird, Cameron.”

But it already was, because just standing this close to him made your heart pound in a way you refused to acknowledge.

“Always knew you had a thing for me, but this? You want me sooooo bad,” he drawled out, tongue kissing his teeth as he pinched your arm.

“Wipe that stupid smirk off your face before I do,” You shoved his touch away, “Help me.”

Rafe’s grin widened, and he opened his mouth to say something dumb—but then Jake appeared at the end of the hallway, his face lighting up when he spotted you.

“There you are!” Jake called, heading straight for you.

“Shit,” you muttered, grabbing Rafe’s beefy arm again. “Just follow my lead.”

Jake stopped in front of you, giving Rafe a once-over.

“Hey,” he said, clearly confused. “Who’s this?”

You swallowed, forcing yourself to say the word again. “This is my… uh, my boyfriend.”

The second it left your mouth, you wanted to crawl into a hole. It sounded so fake, so awkward—and Rafe wasn’t helping, because you could feel him staring at you with that stupid face.

“Hey,” Rafe cut in smoothly, draping an arm over your shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world. “You lookin’ for my girl?”

Why did it sound weirdly nice.

Jake blinked, “Oh. I, uh—I didn’t realize—”

“Yeah,” Rafe patronized, “You wouldn’t.”

Then Jake's stupid eyes widened, “Wait… you’re Rafe Cameron.”

His smirk grew impossibly smug. “That’s me.”

Jake’s mouth fell open.

“Holy shit. Dude, you’re the Rafe Cameron. Hockey star. I watched your game against Michigan last month—you were insane.”

Rafe shrugged, his hand tightening slightly on your waist. “Appreciate it, man.”

You wanted to die, maybe strangle him.

Jake turned to you, his tone almost accusing. “You didn’t tell me your boyfriend was Rafe Cameron.”

You laughed nervously, trying not to grimace. “Yeah, uh,… it’s not exactly my favorite topic.”

The second the words left your mouth, Rafe’s fingers pinched your waist—just enough to make you jolt—and he leaned down, his lips brushing against your hair.

“Careful, princess,” he murmured, “You’re gonna hurt my feelings.”

You clenched your fists at your sides, not giving him the satisfaction of a reaction.

Jake, oblivious to your little argument, kept gushing.

“Seriously, man, you’re a beast. I don’t know how you pull off those plays—”

Jake was too busy gushing over Rafe, throwing out stats and plays like he’d memorized Rafe’s entire career. And Rafe, of course, was eating it up, nodding along like he wasn’t already aware of how good he was. That’s when you felt it—his fingers, toying with the hem of your top. Your breath hitched, and you glanced up at him, but he was still focused on Jake, his face the picture of calm confidence.

“Yeah,” He was saying, his fingers moving tenderly against your skin. “That Michigan game was wild. You should’ve seen her, though.” He tilted his head toward you. “Biggest fan in the stands. Couldn’t take her eyes off me.”

Your jaw dropped. “Are you—”

“Yeah?” Jake said, interrupting you. “That’s awesome. Must be crazy, dating someone like him.”

You clenched your fists, your irritation bubbling over. “Oh, it’s insane.”

Rafe chuckled under his breath, his fingers teasing your side one last time before Jake finally walked away, muttering something about grabbing another drink.

The second he was out of earshot, you shoved Rafe’s arm off you and glared up at him. “You’re fucking insufferable.”

He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling. “Dial down the foreplay, you’re gonna make me hard.”

This motherfucker, oh my god.

You stared at him, your jaw nearly unhinged from the sheer nerve.

“Are you—did you just—” Y

ou couldn’t finish the sentence, the words vanishing in your throat as your face warmed. Rafe, on the other hand, looked entirely unbothered, leaning against the wall like he hadn’t just said the most inappropriate thing imaginable.

“What?” he drawled, his smirk practically glowing in the dim light. “You started it, calling me your boyfriend, ’m just playing the part.”

You took a step back, glaring at him like you could kill him with sheer willpower, “How does anyone ever put up with you, oh my god.”

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” he quipped, his smile widening as he reached out to tug lightly on the hem of your sleeve.

You smacked his hand away. “If you keep this up, I’ll go back out there and tell Jake—or Jack, or whoever—that I was lying.”

“Please,” Rafe scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You're not gonna subject yourself to that human LinkedIn profile just to spite me.”

You opened your mouth to retort, but before you could retort, a group of partygoers passed by, a couple of them glancing your way and whispering. One of them—a girl in a glittery crop top—stopped to wave at Rafe, her voice eager.

“Oh my god, Rafe! I didn’t know you were here!”

He gave her a polite nod, his hand sliding back to your waist, his fingers pressing just firmly enough to make your stomach go stupid.

“Yeah,” he said, his tone easy. “Just hanging out with my girl.”

Your head snapped up, your eyes wide with disbelief, “Dude.”

What the fuck is wrong with you?! You wanted to scream, but the girl was already nodding, her smile faltering as she glanced at you.

“Right. Cool. Um, see you around, I guess,” she said before walking off with her friends.

The second she was gone, you shoved Rafe’s hand off you again. “You’re having way too much fun with this shit.”

“Can you blame me?” he asked, face softening into something that almost resembled genuine amusement. “This is the most fun I’ve had at one of these parties in weeks.”

“Glad I could provide you with some entertainment."

“Don’t sell yourself short, princess,” His voice dipped slightly as his eyes met yours. “You’re the highlight of my night.”

You forced yourself to scoff pretending his sweet nothing’s didn’t hit home.

“I know you, I’m not falling for your little hockey player charm offensive.”

“Who says it’s an offensive?” he asked, tilting his head. “Just a… friendly check.”

“Friendly?” you repeated, arching an eyebrow. “You don’t do friendly.”

He shrugged, his fingers brushing against your wrist in a way that felt entirely too deliberate. “You bring it out of me.”

“Why the fuck is everyone saying my sister is dating my best friend?! Hello??”

Your entire body went rigid as Kelce bulldozed through the crowd, looking thoroughly scandalized. He stopped dead in front of you, his eyes darting between you and Rafe with full-on soap opera disbelief.

Rafe, the insufferable fucking bastard, didn’t even try to keep it together—he straight-up bent over laughing, one hand braced on his knee, the other holding his drink like it was sacred.

“Oh, shit,” he wheezed, grinning wide enough to blind someone. “This just keeps getting better.”

You wanted to drop dead right there in the beer-sticky hallway.

Kelce blinked at you, bewildered. “What. The. Actual. Hell?”

“It’s not what it looks like,” you snapped, glaring at Rafe as he tried (and failed) to recover, his chest still shaking with laughter.

“Yeah?” Kelce shot back, jabbing a thumb toward the swarm of gossiping partiers. “Because everyone’s saying it looks like you two are a thing.”

“We are not a thing!,” you hissed, making a couple of people nearby glance over. “He was helping me ditch some guy who wouldn’t take a hint.”

Rafe, still grinning like a jackass, finally straightened up, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Your sister couldn’t resist me.”

You whipped around, shoving his chest hard enough that he stumbled back a step, laughing like this was the most fun he’d had in years. 

“Oh, shut the fuck up.”

Kelce’s jaw practically unhinged. “Wait. Are you actually into her?”

Rafe tilted his head, pretending to think it over. “Depends—am I allowed to?”

Your eyes narrowed to murderous slits. “I will put you in the ground, Cameron.”

Rafe’s laugh rumbled low in his chest, sending a traitorous shiver down your spine.

“God, you’re mean,” he drawled, clearly enjoying himself. “Kinda hot, though.”

Kelce gagged dramatically. “Nope. Nope. I’m out. Y’all are sick.”

“Glad we agree,” you muttered as Kelce stormed off, throwing his hands up like you were a lost cause.

The second he was gone, you turned on Rafe, stabbing a finger into his chest. “This is your fault.”

“My fault?” he echoed, grinning like he’d just been handed front-row seats to your breakdown. “You’re the one who called me your boyfriend, princess.”

You scowled. “Yeah, clearly that was a mistake.”

Rafe’s eyes gleamed, his voice dropping just enough to make your pulse hitch. “Nah. Best decision you’ve made all night.”

You flipped him off. “I’m fake-dumping your ass immediately.”

Rafe had that look on his face—the one that made you want to throw something at him. A lazy smirk tugged at his lips as he leaned casually against the wall, all cocky confidence and oh-aren’t-I-just-so-fucking-charming energy.

“Y'know,” he started, dragging the words out like he was savoring them, “this kinda reminds me of when you had that crush on me when we were, what, twelve?”

Your head snapped toward him so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

He grinned wider, eyes gleaming with delight. “You used to follow me around like a lovesick puppy at Kelce’s games. Always sitting in the front row, twirling your hair like you were in some rom-com.”

You made a noise halfway between a scoff and a snarl.

“I did not have a crush on you.”

“Yeah? So you weren’t the one who told Kelce I had ‘pretty eyes’?”

He did, in fact, have pretty eyes, so what....

Your face went up in flames. “That was a joke.”

“Sure it was,” he teased, leaning in just enough to make you want to run for the hills. “You totally didn’t write my name in your notebook, either, right?”

Your jaw dropped. “How do you even know about that?!”

“Kelce found it last month and showed me,” Rafe said, completely unapologetic. “Heart doodles and everything. Thought you were writing love songs for me or something.”

“I hate you,” you growled, your face now hotter than the sun.

“You loved me,” he quipped, biting back a laugh. “Or at least your little self did. Cute.”

“I’m going to strangle Kelce.”

Rafe smirked, brushing a nonexistent speck of dust off his sleeve.

“Too late to deny it now, princess. I’m your first love, and you just fake-dated me tonight. Full circle.”

“You are so full of shit.”

“Yeah,” he drawled, eyes dancing, “but you’re still flustered, hmm.”

“I will kick you in the balls, Cameron.”

“Careful,” he warned, “You’re gonna fall for me all over again.”

[himasgod]

How would the 1st years act in twst if their s/o who was constantly spoiling them with attention suddenly stopped because they got busy or they just forgot to due to sleep deprivation hehe hope this is not too weird

FIRST YEARS X READER

Where you suddenly stop spoiling them or paying attention

SECOND YEARS HERE

How would the first years react if you suddenly stopped pampering them due to lack of sleep because of your studies?

I really loved writing this, I hope you enjoy it :)

At first, Ace doesn't even take it seriously. He thinks you're messing with him, or that you're just trying to act cool.

After all, you're always on his radar: hugs behind his back in the hallways, good-morning texts, stroking his hair when he leans on your lap between classes… so when one day none of that happens, he assumes it's just a slip of the tongue.

"Huh… you didn't send me any stickers today? That's weird… did you run out of mobile data or just don't feel like it?" he jokes, sending you an exaggerated emoji to see if you'll react.

But a day passes. And then two. And your replies get shorter. You fall asleep in the middle of study halls. You barely look up when he passes by you in the cafeteria. There aren't the smiles like before, nor those glances from you that he loved so much, the ones that always made him feel a little more important than he wants to admit.

And then, he notices it. The dark circles under your eyes. The tired tone of your voice. The way your fingers tremble slightly when you hold the pen. You're not ignoring him. You're drained.

Ace watches you silently from his seat, while you rest your head on the desk with your eyes closed, lacking the energy to even pretend. And for the first time in a long time, he stops talking.

Not out of discomfort, but because he doesn't want to bother you. He watches you with something he doesn't usually show so easily: genuine concern.

That same day, he buys you your favorite snack. He doesn't deliver it directly—that would be too obvious—so he leaves it in your backpack with a little note:

“Don't forget about yourself, okay? You won't spoil me if you collapse.” —The guy who secretly cares about you.

Afterwards, he just waits. He's quieter, more attentive. And even though he pretends he doesn't care, there's something in his gaze that keeps searching for you.

And if you happen to fall asleep against his shoulder, even by accident, he doesn't say a word. He just stays there, still, as if the slightest movement would wake you.

And between his teeth, in a very low, almost inaudible tone, he murmurs:

"You don't have to pamper me. But don't forget about yourself, okay?"

Deuce notices it right away.

He's sensitive, attentive, and with you, it used to be more than obvious how much he adored you: he'd blush every time you hugged him, and even though he got nervous, he loved feeling your attention, your compliments, and your constant presence. For him, it was all part of a beautiful routine that had become essential.

So when you stop showing up with your morning smile, when your messages become more infrequent and you excuse yourself for not being able to see you because "you have things to do," something in his chest tightens.

"Did I do something wrong…?" he asks himself over and over again as he reviews the past few days, searching for the exact moment he might have slipped up.

"Did I make her angry? Did I forget something important? Was it something I said…?"

For a couple of days, he feels lost. He tries harder in class, hoping that will catch your attention, that you'll smile at him again like you used to. But when he finally finds you in the hallway, and sees how you're holding your books with trembling hands, your face paler than usual and your eyes reddened from straining them… he understands.

You approach him to apologize for not having time, for being “a little sleepy lately,” and Deuce doesn't let you continue talking. He gently takes your wrist and guides you away from the hustle and bustle. He leads you to the garden, that corner where you'd sometimes spend hours talking about anything.

“Don't apologize. Please don't apologize for being tired,” he says, his eyes shining with genuine concern.

He takes out a thermos of hot tea he made for you and a blanket he brought “just in case you get cold.”

He sits down next to you, without you needing to say anything. If you fall asleep on his shoulder, he stays still, his back straight, like a soldier guarding his post. And if you wake up startled, just smile tenderly.

"When you feel better, I promise I'll be there for you to pamper me like before. But until then, I want to be the one who takes care of you, okay?"

Epel struggles with change. Not because he doesn't understand you, but because he has a very particular way of processing his emotions.

He's not used to being pampered, so when you did it—with hugs, with sweet words, with all that warm attention—he felt a little disconcerted at first. But he loved you for it. And over time, he grew accustomed to your affection, to that tenderness that contrasted with everything Pomefiore asked of him every day.

That's why, when you stop doing it, his first thought isn't that you're tired.

It's that something has changed between you. That you don't love him like you used to. That he's become a burden. And that thought eats him away silently.

"Maybe I was too soft… Maybe I became dependent…"

Epel doesn't say it. He doesn't seek you out. He withdraws into himself, frustrated, hurt, not knowing whether to talk about it or let it go.

But when he passes by the library and sees you falling asleep on a pile of books, your brow furrowed in sheer exhaustion, his heart breaks.

He doesn't say anything at first. He just walks up to you and gently shakes your shoulder.

"You're going to get sick if you keep this up… When was the last time you slept well?"

He reluctantly leads you to a more comfortable corner, half-complaining that "you're stubborn" and "don't know how to take care of yourself."

But his voice sounds shaky. Because he's angry. But not at you. At what's draining you. At himself, for not having realized it sooner.

"I miss you hugging me, you know? I miss you speaking to me with that little voice that makes me smile even if I don't want it to. But I'd much rather you were okay, that you kept smiling when you really have the strength to do so."

Epel becomes your shadow those days. He doesn't admit it, but he makes sure you eat, that you rest, that you don't overexert yourself.

Because even if he doesn't say it, he loves you deeply. And if that means he has to be strong for both of you until you regain your strength, then he'll do it without hesitation.

Sebek is… hum... loud. Energetic. Devoted. And when he's with you, even if his way of showing affection isn't gentle or romantic, there's no doubt he admires you deeply.

Sometimes even more than he wants to admit, because he's convinced he shouldn't be distracted from his duty as Malleus's guardian. But when you pampered him—with sweet words, small gestures, constant attention—he felt like the world was a little warmer, brighter. And even though he denied it with flushed cheeks, he looked forward to those displays of affection every day.

So when you stop doing it… something in his routine is thrown off.

"Where is she? Why didn't she come to see me this morning like usual? Is she late? Did something happen to her?"

Sebek goes into alarm mode. He searches for explanations. At first, he is indignant out loud:

"Unacceptable! She shouldn't disappear like that without warning! One must be consistent in one's daily habits!"

But when he finally finds you, half asleep on a campus bench, holding an open book you can barely hold, his voice instantly trails off.

Because suddenly everything makes sense: your brief texts, your absences, your unfocused gaze in the hallways. You're not angry. You're not ignoring him. You're just on edge.

Sebek freezes. He stares at you silently, frowning, and for a second, he hesitates. He doesn't know if he should wake you, take you to the infirmary, or just stay there, making sure no one bothers you.

Finally, he sits down next to you. He doesn't make a sound. And when you notice his presence and murmur his name, he looks away with a slight blush and an exasperated sigh.

"What are you doing, you fool? Don't you realize you're going to collapse if you keep this up?"

He scolds you in a low voice, not out of annoyance, but because he's genuinely scared. He has never seen such a lack of brightness in your eyes. And no matter how hard he tries to maintain his composure, his frustration is palpable.

"Don't you know how much I care about you? I don't need you to shower me with praise all the time… But I can't rest easy when you're destroying yourself right before my eyes!"

That afternoon, without you asking, he reviews your schedule. He helps you get organized. He brings you food to your dorm. He even offers to study with you, even though he ends up yelling every time he sees you nod off.

"Wake up, for the seven! …Or at least lean on me if you're going to sleep!"

And if you do, if you lean on his shoulder without saying a word, Sebek remains motionless. His cheeks flushed. His heart pounding. But he doesn't move. He doesn't say anything else.

Because no matter how much he talks about discipline and duty, he also needs to take care of the one he loves.

Jack is reserved. He's not the type to melt under constant cuddles, but with you… it was different.

He liked how you knew when to hug him without intruding, how you told him "you're doing well" when he doubted himself, how you made him feel valued without having to shout it to the world. Your attention didn't make him weak: it made him stronger. More determined.

That's why, when you suddenly stop being so present, he doesn't notice right away. He thinks maybe you're busy, that you need your space. But then the days pass. And you… disappear a little more.

First, it's the messages that take hours to arrive. Then, the dates you cancel at the last minute. And eventually, even your eyes stop shining like they used to.

Jack starts to worry, but he doesn't know how to approach you. He doesn't want to seem pushy. And he doesn't want to make you feel guilty either.

"Maybe she just needs time… I don't want to pressure her."

But when he finds you falling asleep on the training ground, without even changing your clothes, your skin pale and your lips chapped from lack of rest, something breaks inside him.

He covers you with his jacket without a word. He lets you sleep. He stays there, sitting beside you, jaw clenched and brow furrowed. Because he loves you. And he can't pretend anymore that he's not watching you silently crumble.

When you wake up, he already has a bottle of water in one hand and a small lunch box he's packed for you with easy-to-digest items.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. But don't ever ignore your health again by trying to do everything yourself."

Jack isn't one for big speeches. He won't demand that you pamper him again. But he will take care of you, even if it's in his own way. He'll send you reminders to eat. He'll show up at your dorm door with fresh fruit. And if necessary, he'll accompany you to the library just to make sure you rest between pages.

"When you're better, you can hug me again all you want… But until then, let me be there for you. Okay?"

And in that silent, protective gesture, almost wild because it's so pure, you understand that Jack needs love too. But not the kind that's demanded. But the kind that's given without asking for anything in return.

[artsy-writy]

Humans are so social...yet not?

They have entire systems built on interacting with other humans because staying alone for a while can literally kill us after an extent.

At the same time, humans need to recharge and be alone for a while. And guess what? There is no specific time that humans can be social for and how long it will take for one to feel better after spending time in solidarity. It all depends on the person and the people they decide to socialize with.

Aliens might feel quite weird about this.

"Hey human!"

*groans* "sorry man...I need some time alone...I was out all day talking to people and I...want to be alone right now."

"O-oh. I'll come back later-"

*as alien goes out of the room, another human(human1's lover) walks into the human's room*

*alien wants to warn them but the human lover goes in already. The alien waits for the human lover to be kicked out...it takes a while...2 hours...3 hours...they both finally come out, much happier and social* Hey!

"Ah- human. Were you not in need of...alone time? You let your mate stay?"

*human 1 shrugs and hugs their lover* oh, well. They don't count. They can come in and cuddle with me anytime. They'll know what to do. They won't talk one bit until I feel less stimulated.

*The alien is very confused and takes notes later.*

Humans need alone time without other living beings...except their mate.

*a different human notices the writing* ooh- and pets...and certain family members...and some friends...and sometimes none of those...

*aliens packs up to leave for home planet* Humans are confusing!!

[mylovesstuffs]

OT13 reacting to their s/o being midsize/chubby

Request: hii pookie!! I hope this request doesnt break your requesting rules for this month but here it is!!

idk if you have done this before how do you think would svt react to you (their gf) being midsize/a bit chubby??

thank you so so much LOVE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!💓💓

A/N: First things first, none of them would ever see this as a problem—they’d just love YOU, exactly the way you are. Whoever is like this, is beautiful, okay?? SEVENTEEN thinks so, and so do I. [Check out Hosh, Hao and Bonon lmao]

The Softest Boyfriends Who Worship You

Joshua: He’s all about gentle love and affection. Loves cuddling you, holding your waist, and rubbing your back. If you’re insecure, he’ll softly go, “Who told you that? They’re wrong. You’re gorgeous.”

Mingyu: Beyond OBSESSED with hugging you because you’re so soft and warm. Always grabs your tummy/playfully pokes your cheeks while grinning. If you ever complain, he pouts and says, “Nooo, I love everything about you!!”

Dokyeom: Always telling you how adorable you are. Randomly blurts out, “You’re the cutest person I’ve ever seen.” LOVES squishing your cheeks and giving forehead kisses just because he can.

Seungkwan: WILL fight anyone and everyone who makes you feel insecure. Constantly hypes you up. If you ever feel bad, he’ll crush you with a bear hug and yell, “EXCUSE ME?? YOU’RE PERFECT??”

Dino: So soft for you. He’s always like, “I don’t understand... you’re literally stunning?” Likes to hug you from behind because it’s cozy and he feels safe.

The Kings Who Show You Off

Seungcheol: He LOVES your curves. Will hold your waist proudly in public, wrap his arm around you protectively, and glare at anyone who looks at you weird. “Yeah, she’s mine. Stare all you want.”

Hoshi: “You’re so hot. I don’t know how to function.” Loves your thighs (😏) Always lifting you up, spinning you around, grabbing you out of nowhere because he’s obsessed.

Minghao: The most unbothered about body types. To him, confidence is the most attractive thing. If you ever say something negative about yourself, he just raises an eyebrow and goes, “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re gorgeous.” [that one debate night Minghao]

Vernon: He doesn’t get why you’re insecure. Like, “But… you’re literally the prettiest person ever??” If someone ever says something bad, he’d just look at them like 🧍‍♂️ “That was unnecessary.”

The Subtle But Deeply in Love Ones

Jeonghan: Loves teasing you but would never let you be insecure. If you ever feel down, he’d pull you into his lap and go, “Shhh. You’re my baby. No arguments.”

Wonwoo: The least likely to care about body type (2). He just loves YOU. Likes to rest his head on your stomach while reading and randomly squeeze your sides.

Woozi: Doesn’t say much but always makes you feel loved. If you ever feel bad, he’ll just hold you, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder. “You’re beautiful to me. That’s all that matters.”

Jun: Worships you. No words, just body worship. Always touching your waist, hugging you out of nowhere, and telling you how pretty you are. If you ever talk badly about yourself, he just hugs you tighter and says, “You’re the sexiest person in the world.”

[funlovinzara]

“Speechless” Turbo!ken and Okarun x reader

I didn’t know id cause so much trouble, but in the end i met someone who touched my heart…i don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love him.

Warnings: none really

A/n: im back divas 💜 IM SICK AGAIN

______

Okay, lets not start off with “im just a normal person, who attends a totally normal school.” Because its stupid and dumb and i really really just want to explain this whole situation. This school is weird. Ive been experiencing some supernatural things happening to me and i dont feel safe wherever i go and i think something bad might hurt me. I walk home after school one day and i notice the air getting thicker and thicker and i just feel the tense pressure of something following me

I rush home and all i can do is ponder about whats going on with me, am i mental?? Is this some of condition?? Im having nightmares and i cant take it anymore. I cant even talk to anyone about this because i hardly talk to people at this stubborn school…

Besides all the crazy things happening to me, theres this guy I’ve had my eye on, not romantically or anything i just keep seeing him wherever i go and he just sticks out like a sore thumb. I think his name was Ken….im going to talk to him, he seems like the only person who wouldn’t judge me.

I walk up to him and before i could even mutter a “hey” a girl comes first and speaks to him, it seems like they’re close. Suddenly everyone must have a friend besides me, thats so annoying. I’ll speak to him at lunch then. And as i expected, that girl was there again. So i guess i’ll just speak to him afterschool.

“Hey..” i tap his shoulder while walking out the gate of the school. He swiftly turns around looking at me in surprise and quickly blushing. “O..oh hello!”

“I wanted to know if you’d like to be friends…you look really cool and i thought it would be nice.” His face flushes even more “Cool..? Me? Oh- yeah s-sure we can be friends thats totally awesome! Yup! Cool!” He was geeking out, and it was really cute

“Can w-“ before i could speak again he cuts me off. “How about we talk together at lunch tomorrow or if we have the same class..? Its s-super nice to meet you. Im Ken takakura!”

“Oh im y/n l/n, sure we can talk tomorrow” he bows and runs off home, i mean at least i’ll be able to actually talk to him. I start to walk home and the sun starts to set, i really don’t want that feeling to come back again. But it’s not my choice is it..

While i walk home i start to feel it again, the feeling that im being watched. But no it’s way worse this time. My ears start to ring, and i hear footsteps slowly pick up behind me. I start to run home, it wasn’t far anyway, i could make it! I run into a neighborhood I’ve never seen before, but I’ll do anything just to get away.

A blue light appears above my head and i turn around to see 3 large men with a horrifying smile standing behind me. I turn again to sprint for it until they catch me in a millisecond. “What a fine specimen!!! We shall take your banana for inspection.”

“What the heck does that even mean??? Let me go!!” I hear another pair of footsteps and i see..Ken? And that other girl..

“Get em okarun!!” The girl exclaims, and before my own eyes i see okarun leap forward to one of the men holding me, transforming into something so unknown. The aliens are caught off guard and unhand me while i see that other running behind us, a big set of translucent blue arms emerge from her back and grabs on hold on one of the men and slams him.

“Okarun!! Take the girl somewhere else!! I’ll be safe i promise!” This new…person that is ‘okarun’ sighs in laziness “such a drag..” he picks me up bridal style and starts to speed away into a secluded area where the strange men were sure not to search. He lays me down on the concrete floor and i think i recognize this area, this is a part of my neighborhood thankfully!!

I look up at him in disbelief, “your…ken..?” He was prepping to sprint back to where the other girl was but he looks at me instead “in the flesh.” What was up with his lingo..

“..how are you able to do that?” It’s absolutely incredible, i was totally mesmerized, he’s beautiful! “Dunno, i gotta go. Stay safe babe.” He pats my head and then gets into a crouching start position to run, he sprints off and into the night he goes. What just happened, and he called me babe? How am i going to even talk to him tomorrow??

It takes me a minute to get back up and into shape, i make my way back home and i was later than usual. I make myself comfy, shower and change, and hop right into bed. I shut my eyes and start to recap.

‘Alright, what the hell was going on today. Ken is some secret transforming boy, and i guess his nickname is okarun? This other girl has magical powers and i almost got kidnapped by some disgustingly terrifying ‘men’. Based on what I’ve seen today, were those even men?? Im speechless..’ I continue to yap on in my head until i drift off into slumber.

—

I wake up the next morning trying to figure out if i should just stay home today, but then again i need answers. I quickly hop out of bed and get myself ready while having something small to eat for breakfast. I make my way to campus and i see Ken and that girl again, i really need to get her name..

“Hey Takakura.” While he was speaking to that girl he turns around to look at me, she gives me a glance and her face brightens, it seems like she recognizes me. “Hey y/n, is everything alright?”

“Um yeah no, what even happened last night?? That was totally insane! Do you guys know what was going on it freaked me out, and you turned into some creature and that girl had big arms coming out of her back-“

The girl giggles and cuts me off “okay i know it’s crazy, and I’m momo! What you saw yesterday wasn’t normal i know, it’s a long story. But those men you saw were aliens, thats why they looked so weird. Okarun here has this new ability to transform into something completely new, i have psychic powers.”

My face must have been absolutely confuzzled because they both started to giggle “Don’t worry, we’ll talk more about it at lunch! By the way whats your name?”

“It’s y/n l/n, nice to meet you.” She smiles and rests her arm on my shoulder “Sweet! Cmon okarun, let’s head to class!”

He follows right behind us and my smile fades a bit, that person okarun was…i can feel my heart start to strain. This isn’t good, i think i might like him but every-time i see Okarun and Momo together, they just seem like an unbreakable bond that stays together forever and i might be tinkering and getting in the way of that. I want to go home already.

“Hey y/n, matter of fact how about you come to my place after school? Then we can totally go over everything you’re confused about.”

“Oh, yeah sure! I don’t mind.” They day goes on as it fades into the mist of night. Her house is more larger than i thought, i enter and it has this calming feel to it. I spot Ken taking off his shoes and my hear starts to race a bit, this is making me insane. “Alright Okarun, show em!” I watch him transform again and i see that boy…wow he is so alluring. His droopy sleep eyes and tall slim frame would have anyone at campus falling head over heels

“So this is what you saw yesterday, this form is when he blah blah blah blah…”

I really should have payed attention but i was lost in his thoughtless eyes, and he was staring right back at me. I wonder does this form have the same mind as Okarun or is it someone else? While momo continues to talk, without her noticing he nods his head up at me in a “sup” motion, with his hands in his pockets. He was trying so hard to be cool and he really was. I feel my brain melt to my toes as i nod my head back at him.

“So do you understand?”

I snap back into reality, “Yeah..so what can he really do?”

“Well he can only run really fast, he has no good fighting skills yet.” “Wow, harsh.” He said while leaning back on the wall. Momo takes out her phone and looks at the time, she jumps and shrieks “its really late! Hey how about this, you can come over again tomorrow and we can go over how you’re able to see things like this. Okarun since it’s dark outside and you’re a fast runner, take em home!”

“whatevs, I’m the fastest yo.”

We head out the door and he lets me get on his back. “later y/n!”

Ken gets into the crouching start position again and speeds to my neighborhood “quick, where do ya live” I whisper my home into his ear and he quickens the pace all the way until the destination. He slows and gets down, allowing me to step off his back. I was hesitant to walk into my home and i turn around right before he was going to speed back to momos place.

“Cya on the flip side babe.” Seriously does he call everyone babe…but then i realized he was leaving and as he took off i managed to shout “See you tomorrow!!” I see him wave his hand in the air while he ran, this wasn’t so bad. I lay back in my bed ready to disclose for the night, this is crazy.

Will he be someone i can love or am i just going to be a nuisance..?

—

GUYS I JUST finished watching dandadan please i had to write something y’all idk it set something off in me for real!! bye DIVAS 💜

[keeryhours]

zombie movies & first kisses - steve harrington

Steve Harrington x female Henderson! reader

Masterlist

Steve Harrington Masterlist

Summary:

Dustin thinks Steve and his sister would make a great couple. They’re both obsessed with each other, they just don’t know it. They just need a little push.

Just first date fluff :)

Warnings:

None, just Steve fluff, kissing, zombie movie references

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N:

Excited to get my first Steve story posted! Joe Keery holds my heart in every role. I hope you enjoy this little fluffy story! Requests are open.

—

“She does not like me.” Steve sighed, scooping the mint chocolate chip ice cream and placing it on the waffle cone. He handed the ice cream to the waiting customer with a forced smile.

“She totally does,” Dustin said with full confidence as he leaned against the counter, watching Steve work. “She has Mrs. Harrington doodled all over her notebooks. I’ve seen them in her room.”

Steve laughed. “For some reason I don’t believe you.”

“Why would I lie about that?” Dustin asked, throwing his hands in the air. “You think I haven’t snooped in her room to find all the embarrassing stuff she writes about?”

“It’s not that I doubt your level of nosiness,” Steve said, moving on to helping the next customer. “I just think you’re lying because you want me to embarrass myself by asking your sister out.”

“Oh my god,” Dustin groaned, getting frustrated with his older friend. “I am not trying to embarrass you. She likes you. You’re practically obsessed with her. You’re both obsessed with each other, really. But neither of you will make a move!”

Steve considered his words as he took another order. “You’re not messing with me? You actually think she’s into me?”

“Dude, I know she’s into you. Just ask her. She might pass out on the spot, but she’ll say yes when she wakes up.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, okay. Maybe when I’m not in this stupid uniform, though.”

Dustin asked Steve for a ride home after he and Robin got off work. Steve agreed, but took the time to change out of his Scoops Ahoy uniform and into a pair of jeans and a shirt with the first button undone before he left.

Steve’s mind was racing as he drove towards the Henderson house, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel nervously. Dustin didn’t miss it, watching his friend with a smile on his face.

When they pulled up outside of the house, Steve was relieved to see Dustin’s mom wasn’t home. She could be a little overbearing.

Steve walked with Dustin up to the front door of the house, following him inside as he let himself in.

You were lounging in the living room, dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a rainbow t shirt that clung to your body in just the right way. Steve gulped when he saw you, his heart rate picking up.

“Hey, sis,” Dustin greeted you, a big dumb grin on his face.

You looked up from the TV, a shy smile spreading across your lips as soon as you saw Steve. You worried all of a sudden that you should have picked a cuter outfit, should have done your makeup.

“Hey,” you greeted your brother. “Hi, Steve.”

Steve smiled at you, and you felt your heart flutter in your chest at the sight of it. He was just so cute, you could hardly handle being around him.

“I’m going to get started on my homework,” Dustin announced before scurrying out of the room before either of you had the chance to say anything. You briefly thought about how it was summer and he didn’t have any homework, but Dustin was always up to something weird so you just brushed it off.

Steve stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before he slowly walked closer. “Uh, how have you been?” he finally asked.

“Good,” you answered. “I’ve been working at the movie theater for the summer.”

“Oh, cool!” Steve said, and he seemed genuinely interested. “Do you, uh…like it?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool,” you said. It was pretty cool as far as jobs go, you got to see free movies whenever you wanted and your coworkers were fun. “How’s Scoops Ahoy?”

Steve felt embarrassed at the mere thought of you seeing him in his uniform. “Oh, it’s fine. Free ice cream, you know.”

“That does sound nice,” you said, smiling at him. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, smiling down at his feet. “Hey, uh, actually,” he began, his eyes moving back up to meet yours, “I wanted to ask you something?”

“What’s up?” you asked, looking at him curiously.

Steve looked nervous, which wasn’t something you had seen very much from him. “Um, I was just wondering, you know…if you’d want to go out with me this weekend?”

Your eyes went wide at his question. “Like- like a date?”

Steve smiled at that - you weren’t outright rejecting him, and you’re just so cute. “Yeah. I was thinking like a date.”

You blushed then, looking down for a minute before you met his gaze again. “Sure. Yeah, I’d love to.”

Steve’s smile grew. “Yeah? How about Friday night? At 7?”

“Sounds good,” you answered, butterflies in your stomach already.

“Well, I’ll see you then,” Steve said, the grin staying on his lips as he turned and walked back towards the front door. “Later!” he called as if both to you and Dustin, before he was out the door.

You waited a full minute after he left before you grabbed a pillow from the couch and pressed your face into it, screaming and kicking your feet.

Dustin came running into the living room.

“Did he do it???”

—

When Friday rolled around, you spent the entire day freaking out about the date. You started getting ready early in the day, starting with a shower, where you took the time to thoroughly shave, not missing a single spot. You dried your hair afterwards and spent ages styling it until it laid just right. You went with a more natural makeup look, which took a lot more time than it looks like. You finally dressed in a short brown skirt and white top.

Dustin was excited for your date with Steve, but even he was at his limit by the time you got ready. He was sick of you staring at yourself in the mirror and asking his opinion on a million different outfit combinations.

When the doorbell rang, you were still looking in the mirror, making last minute touches to your appearance. Dustin answered the door, a huge grin on his face.

Steve stood there, looking nervous and handsome. He wore a button down shirt and jeans, his hair styled perfectly. He held a bouquet of roses in his hand. Dustin just looked at him with that dopey smile on his face.

“Hey,” Steve greeted. “Is your sister ready?”

“Yeah,” Dustin answered, moving out of the way to let Steve inside. “She’s been done for at least an hour already but she won’t stop looking at herself in the mirror.”

Dustin yelled for you as he followed Steve into the living room. Your heart beat hard in your chest as you took one last look in the mirror before leaving your room.

Steve’s breath hitched in his throat when he saw you - you always had that kind of effect on him, but you looked especially beautiful tonight.

Steve told you so as you approached, and you smiled and blushed as you took the bouquet from his hand. Your fingers brushed against his as you took it, and it sent jolts of electricity through your whole body.

You brought the flowers to your nose, smelling them - they smelled lovely, fresh - before you said, “I should go get these in some water,” and scurried off to the kitchen.

Steve could hear the sound of water running moments later, and Dustin would not stop smiling at him like a crazy person. You were back before they knew it, smoothing down a piece of your hair as you walked.

“Ready to go?” Steve asked, holding out his arm for you.

You smiled as you linked your arm with his, and then the two of you were headed towards the door.

“You kids have fun! Don’t do anything too crazy!” Dustin called after you.

You rolled your eyes but laughed as you left the house. Steve smiled and shook his head, leading you towards his car parked against the road.

He opened the passenger door for you, and you smiled at him as you climbed in. You buckled your seatbelt as he walked around the front of the car, and you couldn’t help but admire just how handsome he was as he walked in front of you.

He climbed into the driver’s seat next to you, giving you a quick smile before he got himself buckled and started the car. He turned some music on, quiet enough that you could talk over it.

“So, where are we going?” you asked him as he pulled onto the road and began driving.

“I was thinking we could grab something to eat and see a movie? That is if you’re not tired of movies, working at the theater and all,” he said, suddenly second guessing his choice of a date.

“I don’t think I could ever get tired of movies,” you said, reassuring him. “I actually haven’t even seen one in a while.”

Steve smiled, your words making him feel better. “Well, good. I thought we’d see the movie first so we could talk about it over dinner.”

You smiled at the thought he’d put into this, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. You resisted the urge to reach out and touch his hair.

The drive to the theater wasn’t long, its proximity to the house was a factor in you applying there in the first place since you didn’t have a car yet. Steve pulled into a parking spot, killing the engine and turning to you.

“We have options,” he said, before he began listing all the different movies playing.

“Day of the Dead!” you exclaimed when that option came out of his mouth. You didn’t need to hear any more. “I’ve been dying to see that one.”

Steve smiled. “Yeah? You’re into horror movies?”

“They’re my favorite,” you said, which made his smile grow wider.

“That’s cool,” he said genuinely, and then he was climbing out of the car, quickly jogging to your side to open your door before you could do it yourself. You couldn’t help but giggle at his effort. He was being so cute, a total gentleman.

“Plus I can hold you if you get scared,” he said, grin still on his lips as you took his hand and climbed out of the car. “Or you can hold me if I get scared.”

You laughed, which only made him smile bigger.

The two of you walked towards the ticket counter, and Steve bought and paid for your tickets. Your friend and coworker, Alice, was working the ticket counter, and she gave you a sly grin as she handed the tickets over.

“Have fun, you two,” she said, with an obvious double meaning to her words. You blushed, knowing there would be questions at work. Steve didn’t miss the teasing, either.

He encouraged you to pick whatever you wanted from concessions. You got a large popcorn to share, you each got a soda, and you both picked out your favorite candies. You weren’t sure if he was going to be paying, so you brought money with you, but Steve didn’t even hesitate to pay for everything himself.

Steve had the huge tub of popcorn and a million snacks balanced in his arms as you carried the two drinks to the theater. You were relieved that it wasn’t crowded, and you found two seats together towards the back that gave you privacy and had a great view of the screen.

You got settled next to each other, drinks in the cup holders and snacks distributed between you, and you realized just how close he was. His knee brushed against yours, the rough feeling of his jeans against your bare skin sending chills through your body.

The movie began, and you shared the popcorn, your hands brushing together whenever you’d reach for some at the same time. It would send a jolt through your body, and the way his eyes would dart to yours made your heart speed up.

You were loving the movie, it was just as good as you had hoped. About halfway through, Steve shifts closer to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. It’s the oldest trick in the book, but it makes you smile, and you shift further into his embrace, which makes him squeeze your shoulder.

You have an even better time watching the movie snuggled up against Steve’s side. You take in just how good he smells, something you had never thought about before, but of course he was perfect in every way.

By the end of the movie, your nerves had gone, comforted by the feeling of being pressed up against Steve. It felt right, like it was where you had always belonged.

“What did you think?” Steve asked as the credits rolled and the lights came back on in the theater. He gathered up the trash from your snacks.

“I loved it,” you answered honestly, standing as he did. “The special effects were so cool.”

“Definitely,” Steve agreed with you. “That part where they pulled that guy apart was crazy.”

The two of you left the theater, dropping your trash in the can on the way out. As you walked together out of the building, Steve reached down and grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers. It surprised you, but you certainly didn’t mind, holding his hand back and smiling to yourself.

Steve opened the door for you again before he climbed in on his side. You had been chatting about the movie since it ended, both of you having enjoyed it a lot.

Steve began driving again. “What are you in the mood to eat? I had somewhere in mind, but if you want something specific, we could go anywhere…”

“I’m sure whatever you picked out is perfect,” you gripped his hand over the center console, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

He smiled back at you. He loved the way you always put him at ease, even when he was so nervous about impressing you.

Steve pulled into the parking lot of a steakhouse. Not too fancy, but not super casual either. Despite the theater snacks, you felt your stomach grumbling at the idea of getting something good to eat.

“They have all kinds of stuff here, if you’re not into steak,” Steve said quickly as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“I’m a big fan of steak,” you laughed. You were already thinking about what you’d order.

You waited for Steve to come around this time because you knew he’d want to open your door for you. He helped you out again, and the two of you walked hand in hand into the restaurant.

The hostess greeted you both with a big smile. “Just 2?” she asked, which Steve confirmed. She led you to a booth, giving you both a menu.

“This place is nice,” you complimented as you opened up your menu, examining the many options.

“Yeah, I’ve been here with my parents a few times, it’s good,” he said, looking over his own menu before he looked at you again, smiling. “Never brought a girl here, though.”

Knowing you were the first girl he’d brought on a date here made you feel something. You didn’t consider yourself to be a jealous person, but you had been jealous when Steve dated Nancy. You didn’t love the idea of Steve with other girls, so the knowledge that this was new territory for him too made you smile.

Your waiter came by and took your drink orders. You looked over the menu for a while longer before you were satisfied you knew what you wanted.

You were in a deep discussion about the movie when the waiter came back to take your orders. You ordered a steak, of course, with fries. Steve ordered the same thing, shooting you a smirk.

“You look beautiful tonight, by the way,” Steve complimented when your plates were placed in front of you. “I think I already said that tonight, but I couldn’t tell you enough times.”

You blushed as you looked down at your food. “Thank you,” you said. “You look really handsome. I mean, you always do.”

Steve smiled bigger at that, beginning to cut up his steak. “I always do, huh?”

Your blush grew deeper. You didn’t mean to make it sound like you had been obsessed with him, even though you have.

“You always look beautiful,” he added softly.

That made your heart flutter in your chest. He had noticed you. You always thought he didn’t know you existed.

You ate together, talking about the movie, other movies you liked, how your summers had been going, all kinds of things. Steve made you laugh a lot. He was so naturally funny, and he’d really become more of himself since school ended. He didn’t care so much about being popular and impressing his friends and looking cool. He just cared about being authentic.

When dinner was over, Steve got the check before you even had a chance to see how much it was. You offered to pay half, but he shut you down quickly.

Back in the car, he drove with one hand, intertwining his free hand with yours over the center console. You sang along to music together on the way home, and you thought this may have been the best night of your life so far.

Steve pulled up outside your house, turning the car off.

“I really had an amazing time,” he said, turning to look at you. “You’re so great to spend time with.”

You smiled at him, your cheeks heating. “I had an amazing time too, Steve.”

Steve grinned at you. He placed a hand gently on your cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin there.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen…” he mumbled, almost as if only to himself.

You didn’t know what to say to that. You didn’t think he could have possibly meant it, but his face and eyes show only sincerity. It makes your heart thump harder in your chest as you look into his eyes.

He leaned in, slowly, giving you ample time to push him away. You don’t, of course. You never realized how kissable his lips were until you were this close.

His lips pressed against yours, and they felt so soft. You practically melted into his kiss, your lips moving against his as you kissed him back eagerly. He led the kiss, being more experienced than you were, you gladly let him.

You could have kissed him all night, you think, but your mom was home now and she’d be coming out to check on you if you lingered in the car for too long.

Steve finally pulled away, looking at you with adoration in his eyes. His thumb traced over your lips, wet from his kisses.

“I want to see you again,” he said, his eyes finally moving from your lips back up to your eyes. “Soon.”

“I’d like that,” you said. You were surprised how weak your voice sounded, you cleared your throat.

“Are you free tomorrow?” he asked.

“Tomorrow?” you raised your eyebrows. “Uh…yeah. I’m off work tomorrow, too.”

Steve smiled. “Good. Me too. I’ll come pick you up at around 12, yeah?”

“Sounds good,” you smiled.

Steve opened your door for you one last time before he walked you to your front door. He leaned in and placed one more quick kiss to your lips. “See you tomorrow,” he said.

“See you tomorrow,” you echoed back to him, and then you let yourself into the house, giving him a little wave as he turned to walk back to his car.

You sighed as you entered the house, feeling like you’d been holding your breath all evening. You couldn’t wipe the dreamy grin off your face.

The living room lamp turning on and Dustin speaking nearly made you jump out of your skin.

“Tell me everything.”

[macfrog]

sweet child o' mine | pt. ii

hi. this is max's lawyer speaking. please don't get mad at her for this part. she asked me to let you know that she loves you all and hopes that you trust her. sincerely, jimmy mcgill

pairing: neighbor!joel x fem!reader

summary: you're pregnant with joel miller's kid. he's dating someone else. you deal with it.

warnings: reader is literally pregnant so typical pregnancy stuff like nausea (none of the v word, y'all are safe with me), ultrasound scene set in a hospital, anxiety and guilt surrounding pregnancy, description of body change/growth, brief and i mean brief discussion of abortion, joel is dating someone who isn't reader, age gap (late 20s reader, late 40s joel), reader has no physical description save for hair, cursing, genderless use of buddy when referring to baby, joel kisses someone who is not his partner, mention of alcohol, disturbing & semi-graphic nightmare about being involved in car accident, reader has a panic attack, discussion of dead parents, fluff and the beginnings of angst DISCLAIMER: this series covers some issues which i know may be sensitive and possibly triggering to some. warnings will always be as thorough as possible, but if there's ever anything you feel i've missed, please let me know. feel free to drop by my inbox anytime.

word count: 9.2k

pt. i / series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🩵

“I know, I know,” Joel holds a palm up, “it’s nine thirty. I know. But I had to lug all this wood over here, and it – You okay?”

You realize when he pauses that you’re gaping at him, wide-eyed and frozen in place behind your front door. Your jaw hinges shut, a gulp like carpet burn down your throat. You didn’t hear a word he just said.

How does he know? He can’t possibly. Did he sense it, from two lawns away? Dream about the binding of cells, the furnace left lit in your body from that night? The embers still floating, just waiting to catch to life again?

Did he do the fucking math, the way you probably should’ve? How does he fucking know?

The minute the question leaves your mouth, you regret it.

Joel’s eyebrows drop. “How did I know what, kid? That you need new closets? Like you ain’t been nipping my ear about ‘em for weeks?”

Your eyes unlock from his and shift to the slats of wood leaning against the balustrade. The toolbox hanging from his fist. The worn jeans and the white dust marks on his thighs. He doesn’t fucking know, you idiot.

Joel steps forward. Takes your wrist. One grounding, steady hand around your thrashing pulse. “You’re freaking me out. What the hell’s –?”

“Nothing,” you chirp, remembering. The closet. The deal. The fucking – the deal. You withdraw your arm. Hidden up your sleeve, quickly slipping out of his grasp, is the news that his life is about to change forever.

Maybe. You don’t fucking know.

“No,” you continue, blinking the burn of sunlight from your vision, “I just – I forgot. Sorry. Come in. Sorry.”

“Quit sayin’ sorry,” he mutters, eyeing you suspiciously. He lifts a foot and hovers it over the threshold, hesitating. Like the first step across a minefield; instinct telling him to tread carefully.

And you swear an oath to yourself, swear it on your own life: if he doesn’t put the heel of his boot in your hallway, if he turns around right now whether because his instinct is razor sharp, or because he forgot his lucky screwdriver, or purely because he needs to take a fucking leak before he gets started – you will never tell him. He will never know.

If his intuition is that good, he’ll turn around and never show up on your porch again. If he has any sense, he’ll forget any of this ever happened. Deal off.

“How’s the stomach?” Joel asks, sole still three inches from wood.

“What?” you bleat, your heel knocking against the bottom stair. It’s a little more panicked than you intended.

“Yesterday,” a crease forms between his brows, “you said you had a weird stomach. That any better?”

Oh, you think, and as you open your mouth to reply, his foot hits the ground. No answer needed. He was coming in whether you tried to deter him or not.

“Oh, yeah. It’s – Well, it’s better than it was. I think I worked it out,” you grimace, tongue curling under the tinge of anxiety and – well. “Thanks,” you add, noticing the brisk cut of your replies.

The heavy thud of his footsteps follows you upstairs, blunt on the carpet as you lead him up. Joel sets the toolbox down and casts your room a quick glance, snapping back to you as soon as you notice him.

You tug on the corner of the bedsheets, a heat bubbling beneath your cheeks. Something shy and self-conscious, all of a sudden. The reality that you don’t feel close enough to this man to share the anatomy of your room with him, mixed with the knowledge that the two of you are, now and forever, bound by the anatomy of something a little more significant than dirty laundry and dusty wardrobes.

A little closer than most humans get, let’s say.

“You want a coffee or something?” you ask, crossing your arms and leaning back against the window sill.

“You havin’ one?”

“Sure. Wait – actually –” Can you have coffee whilst pregnant? A woman at work quit it altogether when she fell pregnant with her son. Fuck. “I’m – No. I’m good. But let me go make you one.”

Joel shakes his head, amused. Screwdriver burrowing into a door hinge already. He flashes you a tickled grin. “I’m good just now, kid. Wait until you’re makin’ one. Thanks.”

You lift a shoulder. “Welcome.”

His eyes flit from the twist of silver to your hunched shoulders, your arms crossed protectively over your chest. “You gonna stand there ‘n watch me all day? You my foreman now?”

“Sure,” you reply, and he laughs. You sniff, twisting your foot into the carpet. The plastic test itches against your skin; you can feel the two lines ripping into your wrist like tiny burns. “I can go, if you want.”

His lip turns, musing. A quick flick of his jaw. “You’re good company, all in all.”

Metal clanking against metal; fingers knuckle-deep in the toolbox. You can hear the harsh sound across your body, like the point of screws and bite of rust are actually scoring your skin. The groan of a near-fifty-year-old man rising to rip a decades-old door from its home. The creak of wood as it splits.

Everything so heightened that it’s actually painful.

Joel straightens up and pauses, turning his screwdriver between his fingers. “Are we –? We’re good, right?”

“Good?”

“Yeah. You’d tell me if things were weird?”

“Why would things be weird?”

His answer scrawls itself across his face. Your response scoffs from your lips.

“I just,” Joel sighs, “I feel like something might be off with ya. Maybe you just ain’t feelin’ too hot. But you’re quiet.”

“Quiet,” you whisper, palms locking heavily against your biceps. More defensive than convincing.

“Yeah. You usually annoy the hell outta me.”

Over your shoulder, Alice Brown waddles down her driveway, eyeing her flowerbeds. She pauses when Diane’s station wagon pulls up across the street; stands motionless as she watches the round figure climb out and totter to her own front door.

“Just – not in a very annoying mood, I guess,” you offer, staring at the white head of hair fluttering in the breeze. The glint of a trowel in her hand.

Joel’s chin lifts. He studies you, tongue tracing the ridges of his teeth. And then he’s nearing you, turning until you’re shoulder to shoulder, two silhouettes stood against the bright square of blue sky inside your window frame. His arms crossed; his stare fixed.

The words begin to boil in your stomach. Violent bubbles against the wall of your midriff. Rising like steam, fading into nothingness over your tongue, the sting of heat where your voice won’t collect them.

Joel moves from foot to foot. It feels like some kind of merry dance, some choreographed moment between you – like a skit in a comedy show. I know something you don’t know.

“What happened – at the wedding,” he murmurs, addressing the polished gold of your bedframe.

Some small sound passes your lips. An affirmative. You’re on the same page.

“We didn’t use – you know. And with you not feelin’ well, it’s…” A deep breath. Chest full of a ghostly bravery. And then he asks, “Are you –?”

Silence swallows the end of his question whole. You didn’t need it, anyway. The stiffness of his frame, his stare shooting straight ahead. The lack of oxygen between you – both holding your breath for fear that something might tear loose from your lungs. He knows. He knows he knows he knows.

You gulp. “…If I was?”

His head cranes upwards, focusing on the cracked plaster of your ceiling. The realization slowly trickling down over his skin. It hasn’t seeped through, hasn’t bled into his brain yet. “Then,” another breath, “then it’d be a conversation…” His voice is halved, split somewhere between knowing and – what is it? Hoping?

Your eyes slip over to the worn sleeve of his T-shirt, stretched around the swell of his bicep; scaling up to his shoulder, the tight set of his jaw. He’s so much taller, he’s so much older. There’s so much life lived and so many lessons learned behind his eyes that you wonder how much the news I’m pregnant would actually crack him.

Your eyes meet. You whisper, “Then – talk,” and his expression softens.

He blinks away whatever’s left of his trying, his polite attempts to skirt around it. He sheds probably a good three decades – turns back into some doe-eyed boy, wonderstruck and terrified. His voice is quiet, and at the same time, the heaviest with emotion you’ve ever heard it. “Are you?” he asks, and immediately, he blurs behind a wall of tears.

Your sentence gets caught in your teeth. It made no sense to begin with. Tangled between your molars, latching at the back of your tongue. Your hand slowly pulls free from your sleeve, the little white test between your fingers.

Joel’s eyes instantly drop, staring at the pale stick with a fraught expression you understand to mean the message has finally reached his brain. The same words now ringing between his ears: She’s pregnant. She’s pregnant. I got her pregnant.

You hold the test out, quivering in the daylight. He takes it in his thumbs, instantly soothing its tremble. Everything muted, every movement steady and considered. And suddenly the sight of that positive test feels less scary, in his hands. Feels like a smaller problem, if that were ever possible.

And he says nothing, and it’s almost unbearable to watch the shape of his lips thin, the shadow beneath his brows darken. Agonizing to stand here and wonder what the next words over his tongue will be.

He stares at it a moment longer. You count the beats of your pulse in your throat. You wrap your arms tighter around your body, holding your skeleton together.

Joel’s lips part. Your breath freezes. Whatever he says, you don’t want to miss a syllable.

“Are you –” he blinks, “– are you feelin’ okay?”

You stare blankly. His eyes finally lift.

“What?”

“Are you feeling okay?”

Your head jerks. “I’m – I’m fine. I mean, I’m fucking shocked.”

He nods. “How long have you known?”

“Took that right before you showed up,” you say, eyes diving to his hands. “Twenty minutes, maybe.”

He’s still switching between you and the test. Checking those two lines are still there, as if they might fade to nothing, and then checking you’re still there – as if you might, too. Might be swept off if he’s not keeping an eye on you.

His face pales. He sinks back against the window ledge. “Jesus,” he breathes, a hand down the scruff of his chin.

And it feels like relief, like a mirror sat before you, presenting the honest truth: you’re fucked, and Joel thinks so, too. It embeds the shock into the cushion of your brain, the weight of it absorbed and laid bare for every particle in your body to pay it a visit. What the fuck do we do now?

“Yeah,” you sniff, “Jesus.”

But then his arm wraps around your shoulder, reminding you you’re still solid. Still whole. He holds you to his side, and when you turn into him, he takes you in the other and pulls you flat against his chest. His lips to your hair. His breathing slowing yours.

“We’re gonna work it out,” he says into your hair. “We’re gonna – Jesus, I did not expect…We are goin’ to be fine, alright? You are goin’ to be fine.”

You’re nodding, the prickle of tears flooding across your eyes again. They’re doing nothing, his words – blunt against your skin and insignificant to the fear swelling around your heart – but it feels better to be afraid with someone. Feels better to hold onto something stronger, something bigger, while you feel yourself beginning to shrink.

“What do we do?” you ask into his shirt.

Joel loosens his grip, pulls away until you’re staring at one another. “What do you wanna do?”

“I don’t…” Your head’s shaking, lips moving quicker than your voice will offer the words over. “I don’t think I want to get rid of it.”

He nods, a hand coming up to hold your cheek. “Alright. Then you don’t have to. You don’t gotta do anythin’ you’re not comfortable with.”

“But,” you sniff, guiltily averting his gaze, “this fucks everything up. Everything’s about to change.”

Joel takes a long, slow breath. “It complicates some things, that’s for sure.” He looks out to the street; Alice Brown now hauling weeds from the edge of her lawn. In his exhale, he breathes a name.

“V…What?”

He looks down. Eyes dance around your damp cheeks. “Vanessa,” he says, clearer now.

“Vanessa?”

A nod. His nose wriggles with an awkward sniff. You push off from his chest.

“Who the hell is Vanessa?”

Joel lets you go; lets you step back. He watches as you brace yourself against the ledge. Runs a hand through his hair while he fixes the right order of words. He’s thinking. Carefully.

Too fucking carefully. He’s taking too long.

“Joel. Who’s Vanessa?”

“She’s…” He sighs. “She’s my ex. From Tommy’s wedding. Vanessa Hart.”

Your jaw slackens. The purple dress. The hair like silk, a halo around her head where the light kissed her perfectly. Her plump lips; the way her head tipped back to laugh. The amount of air you felt her take up the second you laid eyes on her, the second you saw her, arm on top of Joel’s.

“Vanessa,” you whisper, your eyes descending his frame. The memory feels menacing now: her sweet giggle a sneering cackle, and you’ve no idea why. The bulky jewels around her neck, her clawed fingers on his arm.

Joel’s hand sits inches from yours on the wooden sill. Alice is walking back inside.

“We, uh…we swapped numbers the morning after the wedding, at breakfast. I didn’t think much of it, but we’ve seen each other a couple times since.”

This isn’t the time for another it’s a date, it’s not a date argument. What the fuck does he mean by –

“Seen each other?”

“Mhm.” He owes you better than that. He reckons so, too. “Dates,” he clarifies. “We’ve been on a couple dates.”

“Oh.”

Your heart falls to the pit of your stomach. Plummets, dragging with it your breath and your nerve and any other words you can think of. Your chest gnaws at the edges of the cavity left behind. It hurts. It stings.

Though you’ve no right for it to hurt or sting: as far as you were concerned, as far as you think Joel was concerned, that night was a one-off. It meant as little as the alcohol draining from your glasses, the vacant buzz of love and hope loose in the air. Equally as intoxicating as each other.

Cataclysmic, for the first little while. So heavily awkward that you would wait to watch Joel head out in the morning, clear of your path, before you’d set off for work. It felt like the aftermath of some natural disaster – the cleanup of debris and mistake.

But oh, it feels like a punch to the gut. Low, unexpected; a foul move by someone who never meant to hurt or not hurt you. Someone ignorant to every move he made, right up to this moment.

Your arms wrap around your body again, as though tending to the bruise left by the sucker punch shaped something like that tall woman named Vanessa.

Joel scratches the back of his neck. “We were…we were seein’ about starting things up again. Me ‘n her.”

“Yeah,” you nod, “I got you. That’s – I mean, I’m – I’m sorry, Joel, I –”

“Woah, woah,” he’s stepping forward now, “hey, no. No way. This wasn’t you. Well, shoot – it kinda was you. But it was just as much me, right?”

You smile, your face back in the safe hold of his hands. Tears roll down your cheeks, collecting in the corners of your mouth. His thumbs swipe them away.

“This was just as much me,” he repeats, voice soft and soothing.

“But, you know – if you wanted to – just ‘cause I don’t want to get – so if you didn’t wanna have to – that’d be okay, you know that, right?”

His head snaps back, brows low. It’s the first time he looks like his cool has broken all morning. It’s the first time he looks…downright offended. “Are you kidding me?” he asks, and then, “Tell me you’re kidding.”

“I just – I know this ain’t ideal. It’s even worse if you’re tryna make it work with Vanessa. So if you felt like it was too much, then…”

Joel shakes his head. “Shut up,” he says, edged with some kind of groan. “Stop talking, right now. Stop. You gotta take a deep breath, alright? I’m here, ‘n I mean I’m here. We’re in this together. I am not running out on you.”

“Joel –”

What was a mere crack in his cool before, rips through it now like lightning spreading across the sky. He closes his eyes, a sigh escaping between his teeth. “If you think I would leave you right now, to deal with this on your own –”

“I don’t,” you tell him, his vexation powering your sudden animation. You wipe your tears away, shaking your head. “I’m just saying, it’s a fucking lot. I don’t want you to feel trapped. I’m giving you an out, man.”

“I am not interested in taking it. Enough. Conversation over.”

“And what about Vanessa?”

“What about her?” he asks, the question dripping in something akin to anger. He catches himself, draws it back in. “She’ll just – We’ll talk, I’ll explain it. The hell else can we do? One thing at a time, okay?”

“Right,” you nod, “okay. One thing at a time.”

“Let’s just build these damn wardrobes. I sure as hell didn’t lug all that timber over here to not do ‘em.���

“Okay,” you repeat, making for the door.

“Ah.” He clicks, and you turn back. “Where the hell do you think you’re goin’?”

“To get the timber.”

“I don’t think so,” he says, pointing to your bed. “Sit down. Relax. You ain’t getting a damn thing.”

Joel calls it a day at six o’clock.

The skeleton of the closet is up: a smooth, tan frame lining one wall of your room. Much bigger, much sturdier than its predecessor.

You’re in the same spot he left you in: lying across your bed, admiring his handiwork. He’s good at what he does. You told him twice, and the two of you almost heaved both times. Compliments aren’t something you’re used to handing one another.

He left, maybe, three hours ago. Said he had to shower; said he’d be back first thing to finish the job. You sat up to see him out, got struck by a wave of nausea so bad that you fell back to the bed with one hand on your stomach and the other over your lips, and Joel had insisted – demanded – that you stay where you were.

I’ll be back later to check on ya, he assured, setting a glass of water at your bedside. And then he told you to call him if you felt even remotely off – sick, or panicked, or had a tickle in your throat that you couldn’t clear – and that’s when the two of you realized that you don’t even have one another’s numbers.

And you laughed, the both of you; laughed at the absurdity of you carrying his child when you don’t even carry his contact details in your phone. Laughed at how quickly everything has turned one hundred and eighty degrees in the few hours since you woke up. It felt like some form of release, the only way to clear the blockage of tension in both your throats. So, you laughed, until you felt sick again, and Joel swept the hair from your shoulders to cool you down.

The attentiveness is…new. It’s interesting. It’s kind, in the same way that being told to say hi to whoever your grandma is talking to in the grocery store, is kind. Sweet, the same way that answering the door on Halloween to a bunch of kids you don’t know from a street you don’t recognize the name of, is sweet.

Whatever. It’s fucking weird, alright?

You’ve never seen this side of Joel. You didn’t know or even think, in your wildest dreams, that he existed. Let’s face it: you two have spent the entirety of your inhabitance next door to one another, antagonizing each other. Your favorite hobby has always been pissing Joel off – teasing him for having backache, seeing how far down his porch you can launch his newspaper and he’ll still go get it. Playing the same kind of music you heard him playing on his guitar that one time, full-volume from your kitchen window just to fuck with him.

And, likewise: his favorite hobby has always been…well, ignoring you. Doing everything he can not to engage. If it weren’t for that fucking cat lady and her jittery green Chevrolet, none of this would’ve ever happened. She was a catalyst where one was neither needed nor wanted. You would’ve gone about your life, pinning your underwear only slightly more carefully to your clothesline, and Joel would’ve gone about his, doing – whatever the fuck he does.

Sure, it’s weird. But it’s nice. It’s nice to have him on your side, turning to check on you rather than snap at you for something. Nice to have him talk – actual, rounded words in place of grumbles and mumbles and groans and sighs. Nice to hang out with him and watch him work and ask questions about screws and power tools and pretend to be interested just to distract from the weight of queasiness in your stomach.

Your hands trail down, cupping around your navel. Your stomach still feels like your stomach: still soft, still spongey under your touch. If not for the two more tests you’d taken this afternoon, perched on the bathroom counter waiting for Joel to unstick his gaze from his watch and announce, That’s three minutes – both also positive, by the way – you’d have no fucking clue.

You hold the bottom half of your tummy, fingers rubbing gently over the skin that will soon enough grow and swell and protect.

“Hey,” you whisper, staring at the stationary ceiling fan overhead. A pause. An awkward inhale. “…hey, little buddy. I don’t – know you very well, yet. I figure you can’t even fucking hear me, but whatever. Just wanted to say hi. I’m – Ew, no. I’m not Mom, yet. What the fuck. I don’t know who I am right now, so just…maybe go easy on me until I figure that part out. And after, too. Alright? Are we…we cool?

“You can’t tell me, I know. I just have to assume we’re cool. Okay. Well. Keep growin’. Keep…doing your thing. You’re doing great. We’re doing – we’re doing alright.

“Good job, kid. Good job.”

Joel tells Vanessa two days later. She takes it…about as well as you might hope.

He says they talked for four hours. Three cups of coffee and a drive to Taco Bell later, she agreed to meet you. Properly. Not across the cluttered dancefloor of Tommy’s wedding.

She –? Is – is that a good idea?

I don’t know, kid. It’s the best I’ve got.

Meet me? Like, come kick my ass for sleeping with her boyfriend?

Joel had sighed and deadened his eyes on yours. Not her boyfriend, he corrected, passing you a sweater folded a little slapdash for your liking, and wasn’t her boyfriend when we slept together.

You shook the sweater straight again and fixed his work, muttering to yourself that at least he’s a better builder than he is a folder.

Joel heard you, and let it go. Passed you another – unfolded – sweater to sit in your wardrobe. Let’s just see how it goes, alright?

Alright.

We’re really trying this again. It’s only been a couple weeks.

Okay.

And neither of us have had much luck in that department since we broke it off, y’know?

Joel. I said okay.

He held your gaze a moment too long. Okay.

You’re on your porch when he strolls over, wrist blocking the six o’clock sun from his eyes. Newspaper in his fist, wind licking the corners. “Forget somethin’ today?” he asks, meeting you at the top of the steps.

“Came out to get it,” you brace yourself on the railing, “felt sick. This is me workin’ up to it.”

“You want me to toss it back onto my lawn so you can go fetch me it?”

You smile, eyes screwing shut. “Was coming over to ask what time for tomorrow.”

The reminder snaps him from his happy daydream. He says, “I was comin’ to ask you the same thing. Seven work?”

“Seven’s good. Are we getting food?”

“You wanna get food? I figured maybe you wouldn’t be up for it, what with the, uh…” Joel gestures to your hunched position, your head low between your shoulders, your deep, deliberate breaths.

“Maybe just drinks,” you utter, gulping back the sharp taste of bile.

He nods. “Drinks it is. You okay? You need anything?”

“I’m good. Thanks. See you guys at seven.”

Four minutes early, there’s a knock at your door. You pull it open, and there they are. Picture-perfect, like they might be posing for a holiday card. A bottle in his arm, a bunch of flowers in hers. A timid but genial smile between her cheeks, a twinkle in her eye. That same circle of shining light around her head, brunette tresses curled into bouncing waves.

“Howdy,” Joel says, stepping into the space you create. He dips his head, kisses your cheek, whispers a brief, Y’okay? in your ear. You nod quickly, gently shifting him out of the way.

Vanessa lingers for a moment in the doorway. She glances from Joel to you again, blinking in the porch light. Her pale skin lit in an ethereal glow. She’s prettier up close.

Joel addresses you, hand brushing the small of your back, “…this is Vanessa.”

“Hi,” she says, and pushes the flowers towards you – a small bouquet of gypsophila and eucalyptus. Bright, polite. Each sprig laden with the burden of appearing simpatico, but important. Meaningful, in the airiest sense of the word. “Hi,” again.

“Hi,” you echo, and then feel stupid for having nothing more to offer. You can feel Joel’s eyes on you, hot on your shoulder.

But Vanessa takes the weight from your chest. “It’s nice to meet you – officially. I saw you at Tommy and Maria’s wedding. You looked so beautiful.”

“Thanks,” springs from your tongue sooner than the rest of the sentence. Your brain scrams to find more words. “You looked – you looked great, too. Do you wanna –? I mean – Sorry. Come in. Obviously.”

She clicks over the threshold, her pale dress floating into your hallway like she’s part of a dream. She’s just as beautiful in this light, relaxed form – pastel blue and the glimmer of golden jewelry – as she was in the sleeker, more dramatic form you saw her in before. An aura about her which captures and tends to your attention. Intense, captivating, but not intimidating.

You usher them to the living room, offer them a space on the couch while you take Vanessa’s flowers to the kitchen. Joel follows you through, sets the bottle on the counter.

“Nonalcoholic,” he says, unscrewing the cap.

Your eyebrows jump. “Great. Thanks.”

“She’s nervous,” he murmurs, leaning in. “I know you are, too. Y’all are similar like that.”

You slot the stems into a vase of water one by one, carefully organizing a display. “She seems sweet,” you assure him. “She shouldn’t be nervous.”

“Neither should you.”

“Is this…totally weird for you?”

Joel breathes in deep, filling three glasses. “Yeah,” he says, eyes never lifting from the sparkling peach.

“Sorry.”

He angles his jaw. “Stop sayin’ you're sorry. I’ll kick your ass.”

Your head drops between your shoulders, eyes lifting only to his elbows. “Sorry.”

He scoffs, swiping the glasses and stepping back to let you out first.

“I’m trying not to make it weird,” you offer, slipping by.

“I don’t want you to try anything.” He kicks your ankle lightly and follows you back into the living room.

Vanessa sits forward and clasps her hands around her knee when you sit back down, shifting as though to reach for you before she stops herself. “How are you feeling? Joel said you’re a little…worse for wear, right now.”

“I’ve been better,” you say, smiling. “Just morning sickness. Which lasts – all day.”

She nods sympathetically. “My sister had it rough with her first. I actually…” She twists around, reaches for her purse, fishes out an orange packet. “I brought you some ginger tea. Kate told me it helped her a lot, so.”

She holds it out in almost trembling fingers. Likewise, you steady yours to take it from her, thanking her with a shy nod of the head. “That’s so kind,” you reply quietly, eyes darting to Joel. He’s staring at the pack in your hands, watching as you turn it over to read the back.

“And – listen,” Vanessa continues, the acceptance of her offering clearly fueling her assuredness, “I don’t want anything to be weird – between you and I, between you and Joel. I know this situation is…new. It’s, um…”

“It’s kinda weird,” you say, humoring. “It’s okay. I know.”

She breathes a relieved laugh. “It is. Thank God you said it.” She glances back at Joel, who smiles at her, slips his hand onto her knee. “But I guess,” a deep breath, “I guess it is what it is. And we’re all adults, you know? We can make it work, right?”

Your head switches rapidly between nodding enthusiastically and shaking enthusiastically. “Yeah. Yes. No, absolutely. And, you know, me and Joel – there isn’t – we’re not at all…”

“Oh,” she bats the idea away, “I know. I know that. He told me everything. It’s – You know, it’s just a timing thing.”

Joel’s staring down at his hand locked around her leg. Unblinking. Unmoving. His expression doesn’t shift until the two of you settle back into your seats; until Vanessa asks if he’d mind making you a cup of ginger tea.

You barely notice his absence, the way she takes you up in conversation. Like twirling you off in some kind of dance, each sentence strung safely to the next. There are no lulls, no awkward pauses. She asks about work, asks about your family. She tells you stories about her niece, who’s three now, and compares how you’re feeling to how she remembers her sister feeling.

Then her work, and the IT guy her friend hooked up with, and her class at the gym which she’s trying to convince Joel to come along to, and Kate’s hot yoga class every Thursday night, and the new sushi place which just opened downtown and You gotta try it some day; the nigiri is divine.

And you nod along, and you laugh at her anecdotes and tell your own, and Joel tells her to tell you about the jazz band who were playing at the restaurant they visited a couple weeks ago, and you offer to top her drink up and she says she’ll do it herself and she leaves you and Joel alone for the first time all evening, and – it’s weird.

Because – behind the veil of conversation you’re doing your best to uphold, sits an image of this very night – only, in Joel’s house. In Joel’s house, on Joel’s couch, drinking nonalcoholic wine with Joel’s brother. Joel and Vanessa leant against one another on one couch, Tommy and Maria on the other.

You can’t help it – you’re wondering what Maria thinks of Vanessa. How long they knew each other, if at all, before the breakup. Whether they hung out, whether they discussed sushi and yoga, or the housing market, or their Miller boyfriends and their annoying Miller habits.

Maria would’ve liked her, you think. Would’ve found her as lovely as you do. And the idea, the image of them giggling together at family parties and being Tommy’s Maria and Joel’s Vanessa – presses a firm, bullying finger into the bruise you thought had faded some from the other day.

And once they’re gone, once you’re left alone again – lying in still silence, closed in on yourself by the thick darkness of your room, nothing but you and your thoughts and your unborn child for company – it slips out.

“Fuck her, right?” You hold your hands out, addressing your stomach. “She was so fucking nice. Did you like her? Fuck me, I liked her. I hope they break up.”

And then, realizing who you’re talking to: “No. Sorry, baby, no. I don’t hope they break up. I want your dad to be really happy. But – Goddamn. She was so sweet. I thought she was gonna slap me, and she just – she brought ginger tea! Fuck. They look good together, don’t they?”

It’s just hormones. Just the emotional trip that is being four weeks pregnant. Everybody feels like this when they fall pregnant – sensitive, vulnerable, clingy. Right? Right?

Your words sit stagnant in midair. You swear you can see them, heavy and intruding. Awkwardly lingering someplace they don’t belong. Because none of it even matters – the hormones, the emotions. The weird knot burning a hole in your chest, shaped like a clenched fist, knuckles branded by the heat of longing. It can’t matter.

You’re where you are, he’s where he is. A pillow in your arm, Vanessa in his. Feet apart, bricks and mortar and something like twenty years and two dates too late separating you.

Both staring up at the ceiling, wondering who the other’s thinking of.

“At eight weeks, your baby is roughly the size of a raspberry.”

Your knee bounces, breath coming and going in shaky ripples. The rubber sole of your shoe cries against the sterilized hospital floor. Your chest hums anxiously and your throat catches when you swallow and are the lights too bright? The room too hot? You’re sweating. Why are you sweating? Can you breathe right now?

Joel nudges your arm and your eyes roll to the pamphlet in his hand, his finger tracing the words. “C’mon,” he utters, leaning in, “how can anything the size of a raspberry be scary?”

You squint under fluorescent white. “A raspberry that grows into the size of a watermelon, can break my ribs, make me throw up, make me lose hair, and then tear my vagina apart on its way out? That’s pretty scary.”

He smirks. “Not to me it ain’t. My vagina stays perfectly intact the entire time.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you reply, whacking him.

He laughs, swatting your palm away, keeping ahold of your fingers inside his own. “Speaking of – we gotta talk.” He elbows you, waiting until you’re looking again to speak. “We gotta cut the language.”

“Cut the language?”

“Uhuh. Rein it in. And by we, I mean you.”

“Uh,” you scoff, “I don’t think so. When you do the growing, then you can rein your own swearing in. Leave me alone, asshole.”

“Charming,” Joel says. “You know the baby can hear you? You want it to come out swearin’ like a trooper?”

You grin, tipping your head to him. “If it comes out and says anything, we’re rich. So – yeah. Let it.”

He opens his mouth to reply when a nurse emerges from a nearby room and calls your name.

“You’re up, kid,” Joel says, standing beside you.

You turn back, speaking before your brain settles on words. “I’m scared.”

“Hey,” he says, taking your hand. He squeezes it gently, uses the other to keep you facing him. “This is the easy part, right? We’re just going to meet them.”

“Oh, fuck,” you breathe, and wander over to meet the nurse. Joel’s hand a vice grip around yours.

She leads you into a similarly washed-out clinic room, only slightly dimmer with the lights turned out, and yanks a roll of paper across the bed. Tapping it twice, she smiles. “Hop up, darlin’.”

You settle into the crinkly paper, leaning back until you’re blinking up at the speckled ceiling. Another door opens and a woman in a white coat floats in, and you swear that if it weren’t for Joel’s Evenin’, ma’am when she greets the two of you, you’d believe she were a figment of your imagination. Another character in this fucking insane dream.

“Not often I do these past five o’clock,” she says, clicking her mouse and typing on her keyboard and fixing a hair grip back into her bun. Casual. It’s not even a thing to her, introducing parents and children. She does this all fucking day.

Joel tosses half a glance to you and then realizes you’re not currently in the room. He pinches your hand again. It grounds you for all of two seconds.

“Yeah, uh,” he clears his throat, “work commitment. I couldn’t get away any earlier, so we’re havin’ to do this a little late.”

“What do you do?” she asks, staring at her screen. Her glossy brown eyes and rich, dark skin.

“I’m a contractor,” Joel replies, thumb stroking your shoulder.

Something bubbles in your stomach, something akin to jealousy, an urgency to tell her that right now, in this room, he’s mine. No more questions. Something which quickly dissipates when you remind yourself to quit being fucking ridiculous and that right now, in this room, he’s someone else’s, and the thumb on your shoulder is merely to hold you back from fleeing. Nothing more.

The sonographer nods. Her name badge reads Freya. Pretty name. Stop picturing what your kid would look like as a Freya. You are not naming them after the first sonographer you meet.

“Shouldn’t be too long, then y’all can get home for the night. You live nearby?”

“Twenty minutes’ drive. Not far, are we?” Joel asks you.

Your eyes shoot down to his. “No,” you push your cheeks up, telling Freya, “not far.”

She flattens her lips against one another, lending you a sympathetic smile. “You got nothing to worry about, honey. Promise. Gel might be a little cold, that’s about as scary as this gets. We’re just gonna make sure everything’s looking good, check your dates, check your measurements. You’re doing great.”

“You hear that?” Joel murmurs, settling down into the chair by your side. His hand hasn’t left yours. His voice is low, meant just for you, when he repeats, “You’re doin’ great.”

You huff a laugh, some nervous release from your lungs.

Freya smiles, face lit by the faint glow of the screen in front of her. “We ready?”

You roll the hem of your tee up when she motions, bunching it under the wire of your bra. She squeezes a bottle over your stomach, which tenses solid when the frozen bite of gel curls right below your belly button. Freya smiles apologetically when you wince. Told you, she murmurs, and your breath escapes in a slightly more comfortable laugh. Lighter, easier. Scariest part over.

She presses the probe to your skin and spreads the gel, coating the bottom of your tummy in a slippery slick which tickles with each inch she covers. Two buttons pressed, and a dark image appears on a screen opposite you.

A gray fan, speckled like the ceiling above your head. Dark, black shapes growing and shrinking at the turn of Freya’s wrist. She pauses, two blobs onscreen: the larger, black, round, home to a smaller, misshapen one. Flecked with white and silver and moving slowly, gently, but – right there.

“Mom, Dad,” she grins, “meet your baby.”

You and Joel move forward at the same time, drawn closer to the crunchy image as if by some kind of natural magnetism. Eyes never blinking, lips agape. The shapes flutter, the smaller dipping in and out of view.

“You see right here, right in the center?” A white cross appears over the blob’s middle. “That little movement? The kinda – pulsing?”

You each nod. Your nails dig so deep into Joel’s hand that you risk drawing blood.

“That’s the heart. Ticking away.”

“The heart?” you ask, watching the rhythmic flicker in the center of the screen.

“Yep. Perfect, too.”

She hits another key and suddenly the room is filled with a muffled thudding; a steady, energetic pulse in your ears. It matches the movements onscreen, the tiny throb of the baby’s chest, the shape of your womb moving like waves before you.

And suddenly, it's real – all of it: the screen and the room and the sonographer and you, and Joel’s hand encasing yours, holding your knuckles to his lips, and –

And the heartbeat. Right there, right in front of you. Shy, probably as nervous as you are to introduce themselves. Feeling your eyes on them, curled up somewhere safe inside you. Right there.

You turn to Joel, and his illuminated face is staring straight at the screen. Eyes soaked with tears, blinking as they form, cheeks dappled with wet. He draws his eyes from his child only to look back at you, only to mirror your stunned smile, your disbelieving laugh, more tears dripping down into his beard. He sits up, presses his damp lips firmly to your forehead.

Freya mutes the heartbeat, pauses the scan where the image is clearest, and sits back. “I’ll give you guys a moment to yourselves,” she says, wheeling back in her chair. “Take all the time you need. I’m right outside.”

“Thanks,” Joel mumbles for the both of you, sweeping hair from your face.

The door closes on your little bubble – you, Joel, and the grainy image of your baby. The evidence that – yeah, that night happened, and yeah, you’re forever changed because of it. The evidence that you’re about to become a mom, for real, no matter how much the thought makes you feel like your stomach is kicking around at your ankles.

And the evidence that, no matter how scared you might be, how unprepared and unworthy you feel – you fucking adore that little blob already.

Love it as much as Joel does, stood over you, kissing your hair and whispering words you’re only half-listening to. A quiet thank you, a shaky I can’t believe it. Something about showing his brother. And when you look up at him, blinking at one another, inches apart – he takes your jaw in his hands and lowers his lips to yours.

Different. Softer. No want laced through. No urgency. Nothing needed, nor requested, that isn’t already right here in this little bubble of yours.

He kisses you slowly, eyes closed, holding you until you pull away for breath. His nose bumps against yours and you laugh, heads together, eyes low.

“Still scared?” he whispers.

“Terrified,” you tell him.

“Me, too,” he says, and kisses you again.

You lean back against the bed, relief settling your bones and soothing your heartbeat. The notion washes over you that, if you could, you’d stay in this room forever. Staring at the screen, holding Joel’s hand. Whispering fears into his mouth and letting him swallow them in a kiss.

He hands you some paper towel and helps you drag it across your stomach, your eyes still fixed on the little shape opposite. He hooks his chin over your head – the fresh, woody smell of his cologne infiltrating your lungs and throwing you under the haze of something you’re not quite sure how to define.

“Duck,” he says, voice vibrating into your skull.

“Huh?”

“Start saying duck. Make the baby think we’re saying that, then you can say –” he lowers his voice, “– fuck, all you want.”

“The hell would I have to say duck for?”

Joel stands upright and shrugs. “I don’t know. Think of somethin’. A nickname, maybe.”

“Duck?”

He nods plainly, glancing over to the screen.

The pillow beneath your head sighs as you turn from Joel back to the ultrasound. “Baby Duck,” you offer, and he smiles.

Smiles in a way you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile. Eyes glistening, cheeks swollen. Something innocent and earnest about it. Something pure.

He agrees. “Baby Duck it is.”

Joel insists that you spend the night at his place.

“It’s been a big day,” he reasons, fixing the bed in his guestroom. “Just – let me run around after you for a little bit.”

You fight your corner as much as you can be bothered – I gotta maintain my independence, I’m gonna be a single mom soon enough, you know – but, truthfully, you’ll take any excuse to have him rush around at your beck and call. Some days you open your mouth and he hears the wet click of saliva between your lips, and grabs a glass of water for you before you’ve even voiced the request.

He orders takeout, settles shoulder-to-shoulder with you on the couch, and lets you pick whichever movie you feel like putting him through until the food’s gone, he’s out of beer, and you’ve abandoned Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles for an argument about the best part of pizza.

You don’t like the crust?

Nope.

What fuckin’ age are you?

If it ain’t stuffed, it’s just not worth it.

At eleven, you bid him goodnight and wander upstairs, falling into a sea of navy-blue sheets to be delivered to sleep by the serene silence of Joel’s home. It takes no time for your eyes to flutter closed, the soft sheen of moonlight painted across the wall, sweeping from your view to be replaced in a whir by –

Lights. Overhead and all around and so bright and so close that you swear they’re etched on the inside of your eyelids.

You’re in the backseat, watching them soar by in blurs of white and red and amber and green, and your pulse is rattling through your veins and throbbing between your temples and you can’t focus on any one object for longer than three seconds, before your eyes roll and your head dizzies.

A word, slung from your lips in a half-wakened attempt to stop it. A word you barely recognize at first, don’t understand the meaning of. It’s been years. Why now? Mom.

You’re not sure why, or who you’re even reaching out to. There are two figures in the front seats, heads facing forward. She’s not turning around. She’s not even fucking moving, not reacting to the speed or the lights or your voice. Mom.

You scream it, the syllable ripping violently from your throat, and your tiny fingers reach for her swirls of hair. You pause, staring at the chipped polish on your stubby, kiddy nails. Mom, I’m scared.

The distorted blast of a horn scoops the car up in one motion, hurtling over itself along the freeway. You’re thrown to the roof of the car, plummet back down to your seat; the seatbelt throttles you, rips a burn deep into the skin of your neck. Back up again; your head hits the spongey roof of the car. Your stomach somersaults.

Mom, please, you wail, swiping for her hand. It’s lying limp by her thigh, dark droplets on her wrist. Mom Mom please Mom I’m scared Mom please I’m so scared I –

“Baby.”

His voice is low, earthy. It chews apart the high-pitched squeal of brakes and screaming. The glass smashing. The metal crunching.

You lift from the bed like it’s ice water, gasping when you finally surface back on Earth. Your chest heaves, it’s not sucking in enough breath; you can’t breathe you can’t breathe you can’t fucking breathe.

Joel whips the cover from your legs and you roll from the mattress, feet planting on the floor. You bend forward to grip onto the sheets, a choking rising up your throat, closer and closer until it tugs on your tongue.

“Icantbreathe,” you pant.

Joel’s body curves around yours. “You’re alright,” he’s telling you – urging you; one hand between your shoulder blades, the other holding your wrist for fear you might collapse. “I’m here, you’re okay. You’re at my place, you’re safe, but, kid – I need you to slow down. You’re hyperventilating.”

You work your breathing to the strokes of his hand up and down your spine: in out in out in and out and in and out and in, and out, and in, and…out…and in…and…out.

“That’s it. Keep doing that. You’re good, baby, I got you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

In – and out. In – and out again.

The room slowly desaturates back into boring, moonlit blue. Feeling sputters back into your hands, clawing at the sheets once the sharpness dissolves. The cotton pets back, smooth under your quivering touch. Your lips stop tingling, your ears stop ringing. One after another, until your blood settles back to a steady stream and you straighten up.

“Can you sit down for me?”

“No,” you whimper, and Joel nods.

“That’s alright,” he says. “I’m gonna get you a drink, that okay?”

You grab his T-shirt. “No. Don’t leave me. Please. Sorry.”

He cups your frozen cheeks. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere. Just downstairs. You can come.”

He settles you at his kitchen table and shuffles over to the cupboards, rubbing his eyes. You feel the heat of embarrassment and guilt, watching as he settles down with a groan minutes later.

“Ginger,” he tells you, voice rounded by his mug, sliding one of your own over to you.

“Sorry,” you mumble, lifting it with two hands. The smell sharp, cutting up the remnants of gasoline and smoke.

“Many times do I gotta say it?” he asks dryly. “Quit sayin’ you’re sorry.”

You gulp nervously. “You got work in the morning. You’re gonna be exhausted.”

“And if I hadn’t let you keep me up watchin’ chick flicks, I’d be rested. That’s something I can deal with later. I got you to worry about right now.”

You shake your head; the ceramic hits the table with a sharp thud. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“Well,” Joel sniffs, “you’re carrying my child. I’ll always worry about you.”

You sit back, the curve of the chair cradling, your heart beating lamely against the wood. Joel’s jaw rests in the cushion of his palm, staring back at you.

“What time is it?” you ask, and he glances over his shoulder.

“Three. Take a sip.”

“I’m fine.”

“Sip.”

You obey, lifting the tea and swallowing harshly.

He watches every move, every shift reflected in his dark eyes, decorated by a tense, stony expression. “Does this happen a lot?”

“Never,” you say. “This never happens.”

Joel cranes his jaw, cracks his neck. “Alright,” he sighs, “that’s okay. Breathe again. You’re doing fine.”

But you don’t feel fine. The dregs of panic sizzle into something thicker, hotter. Anger. Frustration. “Why the fuck is this happening?” you hiss, fingers prodding into your eye sockets. “What the f–?”

“Easy. I don’t know. Hormones? Stress?”

“You sound like my fucking doctor.”

Joel smiles. Amusement, before concern wipes over it again. “Let’s just give it some time to pass, okay?”

You nod, hanging over your drink, the silhouette of your reflection staring back at you. The steam snakes up, seeping into your skin, bubbling under the surface. Wiping clean any memory of freeway or nail polish, like coating over a bathroom mirror. The shapes still visible behind, but blurred. Gone.

“How’s Vanessa?” you ask, an attempt to distract yourself.

Joel adjusts a little awkwardly in his chair. “She’s good. She loved the scan photo. Showed it to her sister. They’re sure it’s a boy.”

“Ha. Joel Jr.”

“Joel Jr.,” he agrees, and then attempts to distract himself. “So,” he says, “Allandale.”

“Mhm?”

“Wonder if I ever saw your mom or dad. When I was there visitin’ Sam.”

You shrug. “Doubt it. I mean, they always lived right next to the elementary school, if that helps. My mom was a first-grade teacher. The two of us used to walk there ‘n back together, every day.”

“First grade, huh? Best one.”

“Yeah. Yeah, and she was the best of the best. She used to go all out for her kids; used to go to Michaels and get all this crafty stuff so they could spend all afternoon making little houses or zoos, or – whatever she could think of. And she’d always keep some aside, bring some home for me to make one, too. One time, she came home with all this blue tissue paper and little foam fish, and we made an aquarium together.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Joel says.

“Yeah,” you say again, nodding eagerly. “She was so cool. And fun, y’know? I just remember her being so much fun. I always felt safe with her, felt loved. I actually used to think she hung the sun every morning, just for me.” You take a deep breath, replacing it with a broken sigh.

“What about your dad? What was he like?”

You frown. “He was…fine. Real quiet, reserved. A little grumpy, I guess. I always got the idea he couldn’t be bothered with me, young as I was. Always wanted to be left alone. I think my mom overcompensated a lot.”

Something flashes across Joel’s face that seems to say he knows – or, at least, he understands. Almost imperceptible, a quick flicker of annoyance. “You miss her?” he asks, switching back.

“My mom?” You almost laugh, gripping onto your mug. Staring at the slow swirl of ginger. A shrug which presents more like a flinch; an animal swatting a fly away. “I miss those parts, when I think of them. The aquarium, the walking to school. Miss the memories. But I don’t think I knew her well enough or long enough to miss her.

“I’ve lived way longer without her than I ever had her. Done everything without her, like –” gesturing down, “– this. But, sometimes…sometimes, I bundle the sheets up behind my back in bed, and I pretend it’s her. Pretend I have a mom, and she’s cuddling me to sleep. I dunno. Maybe that’s what missing her feels like.”

Joel soaks in every word you say, letting the shape of each one settle on the table between you before he speaks again. Letting them be spoken into the dead of night, collected by no one, and letting them fade into silence. Secrets sweeping off into starlight. Nothing you would admit in the daytime.

“What was her name?” he asks, voice timid and gentle in the dark kitchen.

You almost choke on your tea. “Shoot – I’m sorry. That was a lot. Sorry. She, uh – Her name?”

It brings the first genuine smile to your lips; the memory of your mom now clear behind your eyes. Her round cheeks, her fluttering earrings. The deep, dark curls of her hair, thick ringlets twisting and lighting in the sun. The gap between her front teeth, the purse of her lips as she kissed your cheeks, your hands, your tummy.

Her name like a melody in your head; a safe word, a calming mantra when the world becomes too noisy, too saturated, too sharp to bear. Two syllables. Two little beats, like a piece of her still lives in the sound of her name.

“Sarah,” you tell Joel. “Her name was Sarah.”

[lilacgaby]

biker! bakugo PLEASE i'm choking

˗ˏˋride or die

pairing: biker!katsuki x nerd!reader

summary: you'd been partnered up with the hotheaded speed racer, katsuki. who knew he'd end up more interested in you then the races he'd win?

tags: fem!reader, use of she/her, cursing, racing, college au!, no quirk au!, smart reader, studying, projects, reader has glasses, pet names

(a/n: i couldn't resist doing a trope 😖)

wc: 2k

flashing lights, money bags, and trophies were just another thing to katsuki.

It had begun when he was young, as a teenager becoming infatuated with motorcycles. he'd been gifted one when he became the driving age, and it'd become history ever since.

he was naturally adept at the sport, winning every competition he'd ever stepped foot in. but because of his mother, he was still forced to attend college.

it wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't so boring. he'd joined a friend group of fellow bikers, none on his level though. despite his reputation for being a bad, mean, and crude guy,

he'd never miss a class.

he walked in just before the bell rang, sitting towards the back of the class. there was no one close to him, well except you.

with your computer at the ready, notebook wide open, and the clicking of your pen you prepared yourself. your glasses already sliding down your nose as you begun to take basic notes on the slides.

katsuki found himself staring at you often, he didn't know why. maybe it was his boredom, or the focused expression on your face. maybe it was because you were really cute.

his heavy boots clanked around as he put his feet up on the table, not even bothering to pretend he was paying this lecture any mind.

he was lost in though, he honestly couldn't even figure out his own reasoning. but he finally looked off of you to note the huge letters on the board, project requirements. he mentally groaned and read over them, all pretty easy for him to accomplish except for..

the required partner. he didn't have any friends in this class and he sure as hell wasn't going to ask some loser. his eyes were glancing back at you instinctively, your pen was in your mouth as you were lost in thought.

‘a pretty loser’. he thought. ‘why not.’

he was walking over to you before he even recognized his movements, you were packing up your things into you bag when you noticed him. with eyes wide you looked up into his. “yo.” he smirked, hand behind his head.

“hello..?” you replied, confused as to why he was talking to you. you only knew him from the rumors that he was just a rich racer attending school for the hell of it. his expensive leather jackets and sleeves of tattoos you'd seen when he took it off only confirmed those for you. besides that, you'd never noticed him before, not speaking to anyone in this class in general. “can i help you?”

“yeah, we need a partner or some shit. y’ in or not?” his hands were on his hips as he awaited your answer, you finished packing your tote bag and shrugged. “it's cool with me, but i don't have a ride so we–”

“i got one though. so we can do this shit at my place tomorrow.”

“uh.. okay.” he held his hand out to you. you were confused and tilted your head, to which he scoffed. “your phone.”

you made an “o” sound with your mouth, handing it over to him. he had the audacity to snap a quick photo of himself before setting it as his contact photo, filling in his name and number before handing it back to you. “we can start this bull tomorrow, i need it done quick. i got something today and comp season is soon. i can't be busy.”

“uh– okay.. bakugo.” you read his name off of his contact, “that's fine for me.”

“just send me your address tomorrow, i'll come pick ya up. see ya.” with a wave of a hand he left you, holding your phone in your hand still very confused at what just happened.

‘bakugo. what a weird guy.’ you looked over the selfie he took of himself, his eyebrow piercing clear from the shot. your face flushed slightly, but you quickly left since you didn't want to be the last one out.

your day ended as usual, taking the bus home and petting your pet cat. finishing up assignments in the week early but leaving the annoying class for sunday, and sitting down to watch tv.

you were channel surfing, idly yawning as you were looking for something to watch while eating. you eventually landed on the sports channels, you were about to skip through them all when the sight of a familiar face broke you out of your mind.

“bakugo?!” you exclaimed, startling your pet. you couldn't believe it, he was actually racing professionally. and he was good, like really good. you found yourself with your jaw dropped and heart racing as he drove, crazy overtakes and high speed at every turn.

your food was now cold as your eyes had been locked on the race for forty minutes. as bakugo crossed the finish line, winning officially you cheered, fist pumped in the air.

the national anthem played as he was paraded around, cameras in his face as they handed him the trophy. a knowing smirk on his face as he celebrated.

once your excitement died down, you bit into your freezing food, opting to go pop it in the microwave.

as the bowl rang in circles, you realized.. he wasn't expecting you to ride on one of those was he?

yes he was. the next day after you texted him your address, you prayed that he'd come to you in a sports car. a regular car, just something that didn't involve you in something so tiny.

you heard him arrive before he even texted you, the roaring of his bike cutting through the music you were listening to. he arrived outside your apartment with a motorcycle, a spare helmet in his hand as he knocked on your door. “oh, no way.” you eyed him as if he was crazy, and he only laughed. “come on, it's just a bike. i'm the fucking best so don't worry babe.” he took your bag out your hands for you, helping you onto the back of the bike.

his hands were on your waist as he lifted you, steadying you. “hey, i got you.” was all he said before handing you the pink helmet, a bow on the side.

he hopped on in front of you, kicking back the pedal keeping the bike still. “hold on to me.” you put your hands onto his waist. “go slow.”

“i don't promise nothin’.” he roared the engined. “but i'll try for you, pretty girl.”

you squeaked as he sped off, your face now squished against his as you held onto his waist impossibly tight. “this is not slow!” you sped down the streets, way over the speed limit. you should've just taken the damn bus.

“can't hear ya.” you could hear the smile on his face as he sped up. “asshole!” you shrieked again as he popped a tiny wheelie.

after the ride of your life, or the possible end of it, he helped you off. you had shaky legs as you held on to him, chest heaving. “you're crazy.” he didn't let go of you, body supported by him as you walked into his house.

“i'll be back, gotta put the ol’ girl in the garage. make y’rself at home.” he walked out, leaving you calming yourself down. his house was huge, you looked around as you poured yourself a glass of water.

he walked back in, waving you to follow him. “come on, we can start over here.” you followed him into his room, a large setup on his desk. black silk sheets adorned by orange and red comforters laid upon his bed. it was actually pretty well decorated. “you just gonna look all day specs?”

you shook your head and sat next to him. “so, we just have to code a basic game, easy right?”

“yeah. this'll be a piece of cake.”

and a piece of cake it was.

he was actually really smart, fun to talk to. the game was created piece by piece, finished up easily, way faster than expected. but you hung around longer than necessary.

even though you finished the project in a week, it's been about a month and you still would go to katsuki’s house everyday.

lazing around his room on his bed, him holding your waist with one arm while you were hung over his body. scrolling on your phones, sneaking photos of each other, getting impossibly closer.

he'd take you out on drives, actually going slow now and riding around with you. he'd take you to his favorite shops, laughing when you manage to stomach the spicy ramen he enjoyed.

he'd take you to eat ice cream after, sitting in the parking lot watching the moon rise.

“yo, [name].” he pushed up your glasses with a finger. “what?”

“be mine, okay?” your face flushed, you swore the atmosphere grew hot. “uh.. okay.”

“cool,” he breathed. “now i have to ask you the actual important question… [name].” your heart beat sped up as he grew closer to you, caressing your face with his ungloved hand. he took a deep breath before saying,

“will you come to one of my races?”

your face fell and your eyebrows shot up. “that's the important question??”

“hey don't be rude. it's important to me and that shit took a lot outta me.”

that made you laugh, holding your stomach while he started at you with a straight face. you finally calmed down enough to say, “well, duh. of course i'll go. maybe you'll be extra lucky with me there too.” you joked.

“im sure i will [name].” he kissed you afterwards, tilting his head as the moonlight made you look ethereal.

being there was a lot different from just watching on the tv. you had a pass to walk around the pit area, katsuki kept you glued to his side. he explained to you how everything worked, where you'd be able to sit and watch him, and showed you his personal room.

you saw as he raced, your heart in your throat as you saw how dangerous the sport really was.

after all of it, after he won, he threw himself onto you and kissed you, trophy in his other hand.

when it was time to go though, you didn't see his motorcycle anywhere. “hey, ‘suki? where's the bike?”

he walked up to a black sports car, leaning against it. “i wanted to take her out for a spin ya know? switch it up.”

“you had a car this whole time?!”

“yeah, but how else would i get to see your cute face?”

"i'm going to kill you."

"you won't, you love me."

[mintyys-blog]

Hello, I’ve never requested anything before and i’m not sure about how, if this isn’t inspiring then that’s perfectly ok! I love how you write mark, and i’d love a situation in which he has to be careful and patient with the reader during intimacy because she’s been assaulted before or in her past relationship and now she’s just unsure and scared and feels weird but want to do it. So mark notices and has to calm himself and wants to take it slow for her. Original mark and any variants that you feel inspired to write, i like mohawk mark and sinister mark. I like it when they have to be soft for reader.

HEADCANON | sinister mark, mohawk mark and main mark with s/o who is scared of intimacy

INVINCIBLE MASTERLIST | WARNINGS: sexual themes, mention of bad experiences with sex

Do not repost, translate, or rewrite my work, whether AI-generated or otherwise, without my permission

© @mintyys-blog

MOHAWK MARK

The room is dimly lit. His body hovers over yours, shirtless and scarred, muscles tense with anticipation. He’s kissed you dizzy—hands firm, mouth hungry—but when he slides his hand up your thigh and feels the way your body stills, he stops.

Not slows. Stops.

You weren’t expecting him to. Most men wouldn’t have noticed. But he lifts his head, dark eyes searching your face.

And then… he laughs.

A low, sharp sound. Not cruel—almost amused.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he says, voice rumbling in his chest. “You think I didn’t notice? That your heartbeat jumped like I scared the life out of you?”

You stammer, trying to sit up. “Mark, I didn’t mean—”

He cuts you off, still smirking, but there’s steel behind it.

“Relax,” he says, rolling onto his back beside you with a grunt. “You think I’m the kind of bastard who needs to take sex?”

You blink, stunned. He lets the silence stretch.

“I can take whatever I want,” he says—flatly, as if stating fact. “I do it all the time. I’ve conquered entire worlds. Torn kings from their thrones.”

Then his eyes flick to you—sharp, golden, glowing faintly in the low light.

“But when it comes to women?” He snorts. “I’d rather they come to me. I’m not some pathetic slug who takes it.”

You watch him, breath caught in your throat. That laugh wasn’t mockery—it was disbelief. You—scared of him?

“I want you,” he says simply. “But not like this. Not if you flinch. Not if you’re afraid.”

His voice drops lower, almost a growl. “When I have you, you’ll want me to.”

Your mouth dries. You hate how much that turns you on. But more than that—you feel safe.

Because you know now: he wants your yes. Not out of desperation or ego. But because, deep down, the most terrifying man in the galaxy wants to earn something for once in his life.

And maybe, just maybe, you want to give it to him. When you’re ready.

SINISTER MARK

You’re in his bed, barely beneath the covers. Your shirt is half-off. Your breath is shaky. Mark is above you— darker, colder than the others—but right now, his touch is light. Careful. Too careful. You tense. He feels it. A beat passes.

His hand, which had been on your waist, retreats like it burned him. He doesn’t speak. He just looks at you. Head tilted. Expression unreadable.

You rush to explain. “I-I want to. I do. I’m just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” His expression doesn’t change. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“You say that like it’s easy.” He scoffs, darkly amused. “Easy? You think this is easy for me?”

He rolls onto his back beside you, hands behind his head, biceps flexing, jaw tense. His golden eyes flick to you, glowing faintly in the low light.

“You have no idea how much I want you right now,” he mutters. “But I’m not going to take you.”

You blink, startled by the rough honesty. “I could,” he continues, voice sharp but low. “I’ve taken things all my life. Power. Control. Blood. None of it ever mattered.”

He turns to you now, eyes locking on yours. “But this? You?” His hand brushes your arm, feather-light. “I want you to give yourself to me. Because you want to. Because you choose to.”

You feel your chest tighten. Tears sting your eyes. No one’s ever put it like that. No one’s ever said that.

He exhales, long and slow, like he’s forcing his darker nature back down into his chest. “I’m a monster, sure. But I’m not a fucking thief.” You reach for his hand without thinking. He lets you hold it.

For a moment, he’s quiet. Then, barely above a whisper: “You pull me in,” he murmurs. “When you’re ready. Not before.”

And when you finally curl into his chest, clinging like he’s the only solid thing left in the world, he wraps his arms around you—like armor made just for you. Mark doesn’t do gentle. Doesn’t do patience. But for you? He’ll learn.

MAIN MARK

Your shirt’s half-unbuttoned.

His hoodie is already on the floor.

You’re both breathing a little too fast.

Mark’s lips hover above your neck, warm breath ghosting across your skin. He’s careful, so careful. His hands are steady on your waist, holding you like you’re something he could break if he squeezes too hard.

You want this.

You want him.

But something in your ribs locks up when his hand slides just under your bra. You don’t mean to—but you flinch.

Just a little.

That’s all it takes.

He freezes.

Then backs up.

And suddenly, Mark’s not over you—he’s kneeling beside you on the bed, hands up in surrender, concern etched all over his face.

“You okay?” he asks quietly, like you’re standing on a ledge and he doesn’t want to startle you.

Your lips tremble. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no. Don’t do that.” He reaches forward—slowly—just to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I just…” You bite your lip. “I’ve had bad experiences. And I thought I could push past it. I wanted to. But when things actually started happening…”

He nods, understanding instantly. “It hit you.”

“Yeah.”

He exhales, sitting with his legs crossed in front of you now. Not touching. Just present. “Listen,” he says gently, “you don’t ever have to rush anything with me. I’m not here for that. I’m here for you.”

You look up at him—his warm, brown eyes soft and open. Like he’s holding the moment still for you. “I want it to be your choice,” he continues. “All of it. Every kiss, every touch. I don’t care how long it takes. I’m not keeping score.”

You nod, wiping your eyes before they fall. He leans in, slow as gravity, and presses a kiss to your forehead. Then he pulls the blanket up around your shoulders and says, “Let’s just lie down, yeah?”

You nestle against his chest, and he wraps his arms around you like you’re his entire world. Because you are.

[kortac-sweetheart]

i have a hard time saying pet names irl because i feel like my accent makes it sound funny but i loveeee using them over text

projecting it onto simon right now 📡📡📡

he thought he did something wrong at first, you always call him “honey” or “baby” or “darling” or— you get it, over text. practically half of your vocabulary when you text him is a petname, but the moment he gets you on a call he’s always “simon” or “si” to you and it drives him downright insane.

did he forget to turn off the stove before leaving? forget to close the fridge door? forgot your anniversary— like hell he’d do that! so what was it?

he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place here. you don’t look like you’re mad at him (not like you’re ever really mad at him), and he’d rather pull out his own teeth than ask you about it so he’s just suffering in silence, not able to hear you say all those sweet pet names in person.

but it gets to a point, a man could only take so much before he breaks. he asks you about it over text, yes, not in person he has his limits.

ok! i’ll see you soon honey!! (❁´▽`❁) love youuuuu

wait. lovie, i have to ask you something

? yes baby?

why do you never call me pet names in person?

it takes you a little bit to respond, the three bubbles popping up and disappearing over and over. it makes him anxious, god— him. simon riley, who can stare down death itself without even flinching but is now anxiously awaiting his partner’s response to his question about pet names of all things.

what have you done to him? (you are the greatest thing that happened to him.)

the little ding! snaps him out of his anxious ruminating.

haha well i guess it’s just

i think my accent makes it sound weird 😭😭

oh. so that’s what it was. well— that can’t fly anymore, not that he knows about it now. he calls you immediately, of course, desperate to hear you call him something sweet finally.

he’d get on his knees (even if you couldn’t see him) and beg for you to call him anything you desired, anything please— just let him hear you.

“sim—“ you try and start, a little startled at the sudden call.

“none o’ tha lovie, call me something else— please.”

“but i think it’d sound weird—“ he’d do anything to prove you otherwise, anything at all.

“no! no— you won’t you’ll sound great, lemme hear ya dove, please.” he’s never sounded this desperate before.

“ok! ok, fine! simon, bubby, my honey, my dearest… uhm… my love, my darling…ba— baby… …okimdoneloveyoubye!!!”

there’s a very uncharacteristic lovestruck look on his face when you hang up. you sounded absolutely lovely to him. he could die a happy, happy man after that.

you sounded amazing lovie ❤️

wow. simon actually sent an emoji? he’s dead serious about it, huh? wild. but a man in love is a changed one as they say.

really? (๑º ﾛ º๑)

you’re so cute to him. downright adorable actually. he wants to hear you call him all those sweet things for the rest of his life. he needs to get you a ring asap.

yes lovie, really.

would i ever lie to you?

call me all those things when you see me in person, ok? love you. see you soon.

!!!!!!yay!!!!!!!

ok love you baby!!!!!! see you later!!!! (ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c)♡

super cute indeed. (he’s going to the local jeweler’s after work.)

[katyawriteswhump]

scent of a (soul)mate 💖🍌💖

Rating: M; WC: 2722; CW: none; Tags: O!Steve, A!Eddie, fluff, scentmates, scenting, rejection sickness, mild hurt/comfort, snuggling and cuddling, matchmaking. For @stmarchmm day 10 prompt, ‘rejection sickness’ and day 11 prompt, ‘scenting,’ and @steddiebingo fill, ‘fruit.’ Summary: O!Steve has been dumped by Tommy and Carol, and is suffering from major rejection sickness. A!Eddie reluctantly rocks up to provide ‘platonic’ healing snuggles… Read on Ao3

🍌💖🍌💖🍌💖🍌💖🍌💖🍌

“Let me get this straight.” Eddie discarded his notes and glared across the trailer at Gareth. “You want me to pause creating the most metal campaign in the history of D and D… and go snuggle the third most obnoxious student who ever doomed the halls of Hawkins High? Because he’s been dumped by the only two dickwads who were more obnoxious?”

“He’s not so bad,” mumbled Gareth, hilariously squirmy. “We’re friends now. Henderson adores him. It’s not like Steve was ever around when Tommy and Carol were slamming me up against the lockers.”

Eddie grinded his teeth at the memory. “No shit. Protecting you was my job.”

“That’s my point! You’re the best at looking out for Omegas. Without being threatening or trying to get in their panties.”

“You calling me unthreatening?” Eddie poked his tongue and clawed the air, grizzly-style.

“You’re terrifying, Eddie. Just… hear me out, okay?”

Eddie indulged his friend, as ever, and most of Steve’s history, he knew. Steve had been joined at the hips with Tommy and Carole since Middle School. When Steve presented Omega, and the other two presented Alpha, nothing changed.

Apart from that Eddie avoided Steve like a plague of frat-boy zombies, and not only because the Omega was a total brat.

Eddie got within ten yards of Harrington he was pretty much drooling. The Omega’s scent—not to mention that dumb preppy hair and those pretty eyes—drove him loopy, and there was no way he was making a fool of himself with Tommy and Carol’s bitch.

What Eddie didn’t know was that, since they’d graduated, Steve’s Alphas had been treating him like a toy they’d grown bored of.

A month ago, they’d cut him completely.

When his parents refused to cut short a business trip to care for him, isolation sickness had aggravated rejection sickness. In the end, Steve had been too poorly to come to the door. Robin Buckley got Chief Hopper around to break into the Harrington’s house and take Steve to the hospital.

Yeah, it was all deeply tragic.

As were Gareth’s huge, woeful eyes and his melodramatic telling of the tale, which rivalled Eddie’s best Dungeon Master act. Boo-hoo, poor little rich kid, cue the wailing violins.

Half an hour later, Eddie was at the store trying to figure out what gift to take to visit a sick and admittedly cute Omega who he didn’t actually like.

Oh, and getting weird looks from other shoppers for wandering around muttering to himself.

“No chocolates, no candy-ass flowers. Wroooong message, Munson. I mean, what are you doing getting a gift?” Truth was, some crazy Alpha instinct forced him to it, and fortunately inspiration struck. “Okay. Fruit. That’s what you take for sick Omegas when you have zero intention of jumping their bones… courting… whatever.”

He opted for a bunch of bananas and headed straight to Hopper’s place. The Chief took in waifs and strays of all designations, of which Steve was the latest. Eddie puffed out his cheeks, rolled on extra blockers, and got out of the van.

Instantly, he got a whiff of that insanely glorious… ahem, no, cloying caramelised-peaches-with-watermelon-and-vodka scent that used to drive him nuts at High School.  That’d had him trying to recreate it in a punch bowl for the past year and totally failing.

He should’ve run for the hills while he still had hope. Instead, finding the front door unlocked, he followed his nose and peeped in.

Steve was lying on the sofa bouncing a softball off the ceiling.

Okay, should Eddie knock? Cough? Say hi?

Too late.

Steve startled and tumbled off the couch, landing with a thud and a squeak.

“Shit!” Eddie rushed inside to help.

…

Steve slowly sat up then flopped his back against the side of the couch, head spinning.

What was Eddie Munson doing here? Why was he carrying a bunch of bananas—Steve’s favorite food—which smelled super-crazy levels of deliciousness?

“You okay?” Eddie dumped the fruit and crouched at Steve’s side, looking almost as spooked as Steve.

“Yeah,” panted Steve, hand over his still-racing heart. “Thought you were Hop. Figured he’d be mad I was playing ball inside.” To be fair, Steve’s jumpiness came from years of anticipating his father’s reactions. Hop would’ve forgiven him. Probably. “There’s nothing on TV and I’m bored out of my skull.”

“You always did love your ball-in-laundry-basket games,” said Eddie, with an only-slightly-derisive smirk.

Steve gave him a look, revving up to tell him he’d waaaaay rather have been playing his guitar. If he could’ve staggered far enough to fetch it from his room. Eddie got in first:

“I’m sorry. You’re cool. You happy on the floor, Sweetie, or you want a hand?”

Sweetie? Steve giggled and instantly forgave Eddie. That giant crush he’d had on the Alpha in senior year rushed back like it’d never left. “What d’ya reckon, shit-for-brains?”

A large Alpha hand hooked under his arm. Another found his hip, and he was carefully guided back onto the couch.

“What the heck are you doing here?” asked Steve, once nested back among his cushions and blankets. And still getting over the loss of that warm touch, which had sent shockingly pleasant shivers across his skin. “You looking for the Chief?”

“Nope.”

Eddie hovered a foot off and stared at him. Scarily intense. Steve faintly wondered why he wasn’t more scared about being alone, pretty much helpless, with a bad-boy Alpha, then dabbed his lips. Shit, maybe Eddie was staring because he had something gross on his face.

“Look, I’m gonna level with you, Harrington—”

“Steve,” squeaked Steve.

A smile twitched on the corner of Eddie’s lush lips, and… Wow, Steve hadn’t had much appetite for weeks and suddenly he was soooo hungry. Must be those bananas Eddie had brought with him, which Steve slid his attention to.

The aroma was incredible. There was a ton of muted scents drifting around this house, but right now… Nope, Steve only smelled banana, and it was the deepest, richest, creamiest banana he’d ever experienced, with dark salty undertones.

Wow.

“Gareth said you’d been struggling,” Eddie said, “and that the doctors pretty much prescribed platonic bodily contact with Alphas. So, yeah, not gonna push this or anything, but—

“I’m gonna kill him,” muttered Steve, facepalming. “Look, I appreciate it, um… Can I call you Eddie?”

“Sure.”

“Eddie, I’m on the mend. I’m past the so-sick-I-wanna-die stage—” and the humiliating can’t-stop-crying stage—“and to be ‘platonic’ I think you have to be friends. I know you hated my guts in High School. You don’t have to do this.”

“I never hated you,” said Eddie. “I hated your ex-Alphas. Gareth and Dustin say you’re a good dude. I trust them, and that makes us friends of friends, so… you want snuggles or not? It’s totally up to you.”

Steve peeped at Eddie from between his fingers, and somehow, he couldn’t lie: “I’d like snuggles.”

Eddie relaxed into yet another grin, this one deliciously wolfish: “Okay, Steve. You call the shots. How do you wanna do this?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

It was true. His parents didn’t believe in hugs, let alone snuggles. Carol and Tommy had only ever petted him after sex. He’d snuggled with Hop’s younger foster pups lately in the family nest, which had helped him start to heal.

He’d never had one-on-one snuggles with an Alpha before. Even platonic ones.

And now he was trembling like an idiot.

Eddie perched on the edge of the couch. “Nothing to worry about, Sweetie. We can take this slow, or I can leave, or—"

“No.” Steve grabbed Eddie’s wrist, and the strength of his grip shocked him. “I said I want snuggles. Please, Alpha.”

The awkwardness and furtive glances lasted only a few seconds. Then Eddie scooped Steve against his hip and enfolded both arms around him. Steve nestled his cheek on Eddie’s chest, and one of his own hands crept across to clasp Eddie’s shoulder. One of his knees notched itself up into Eddie’s lap, and he melted into Eddie as if they were born to fit together this way.

A caressing warmth literally seeped from the Alpha. Damn. He’d wasted nineteen years… without this?

“You okay, Steve?”

“Mmmmmm,” sighed Steve, as a wave of pure contentment washed over him. He wanted to sink into those hints of herby Alpha musk—into Eddie—like a hot bath. Okay, Eddie’s scent wasn’t quite as distracting as the bananas, which was a shame, but he wasn’t gonna complain. He was losing himself in a happy doze, when Eddie’s fingers started up gentle brushes on his hair, smoothing it behind his ear, then drifting to toy at his nape.

Steve no longer wanted to sleep. Eddie’s hand on his back was like warm oozing honey and Steve didn’t want to miss a thing. He burrowed so deep his nose was in danger of disappearing into Eddie’s armpit. It was clear Eddie was wearing blockers, which was a bummer. Eddie’s natural scent was complex, and Steve wanted to inhale as much as he could, as if to map it on his senses for a lonelier day. After all, the banana smell was out of this world, but it was Eddie he fancied.

Ooops! No, this is platonic. Keep those thoughts platonic, Harrington!

Eddie, meanwhile, was pretty chill. He chattered a bit, about D and D, and music, and all of it was actually pretty interesting. And he was so nice. Even though, one time Steve peeped up, Eddie was grimacing.

Spying Steve, he winked and grinned, and Steve decided not to ruin things by getting too anxious. Maybe Eddie was constipated or something.

That helpful thought didn’t dampen his attraction to Eddie for long. After a few more minutes snuggling, Steve wanted to purr his heart out. He managed to rein it in and then he was having thoughts that were so un-platonic that he bit his lip to the point of pain. Shit, if he got slick, or started to perfume, would Eddie get mad?

Think of something else, Harrington. Not about how hot he is, or how you used to fantasize about him fucking your brains out, when you were still with your exes. Oh my God, I’m gonna get slick! I’m gonna leak everywhere!

He tuned into the one thing that distracted him. The crazily potent scent of those bananas.

He imagined that firm stick of yumminess sliding between his lips, rolling his tongue around it. His stomach growled for it. Steve almost purred for it. And, fast-as-fucking-lightning, some primal need shoved aside all his skittishness and, apparently, his common-sense.

He sat bolt upright and fixed pleadingly on Eddie’s eyes. “I’m soooo hungry. Please, Alpha, can I have a banana?”

Eddie hooted. “Almost forgot I brought them.”

He reached to snap one from the bunch. As they sat side-by-side, he handed it to Steve. Steve pouted. If Eddie had chosen to feed it to him, who would he have been to argue?

With unsteady hands, Steve unpeeled the banana, then slid his lips over its rounded head. It tasted… okay. Kind of bland. Not as earthshattering as he’d expected. Maybe he needed more?

He shoved half the banana into his mouth, bit it off. And choked.

“Hey, take it easy,” said Eddie, rubbing between Steve’s shoulder blades.

Having gulped the thing down, Steve was not in the mood to ‘take it easy.’ He was so damn confused, and cranky that he’d not gotten what he craved, and if what he craved wasn’t that dumb banana, then it had to be…

His nose was at Eddie’s neck before he could stop himself, scenting then licking, and… Ooookay, the blockers and being unwell had thrown him. No banana could send him loopy like this. If his spinning head was sure of one thing, it was that irresistible smell was definitely Eddie. Who now cupped the rear of Steve’s neck—no real pressure, simply holding him in place with a devastating, featherlight touch.

“Sweetie, you okay there?”

No… or maybe, yes. Slick trickled in Steve’s panties, and he jerked his chin up: “Will you kiss me?”

Eddie blinked. Then he licked his lips. That grin Steve was growing obsessed with spread slowly, bunching his cheeks into delicious dimples.

“Hop’s gonna kill me,” murmured Eddie, then, narrowing his eyes, “Look, gonna level with you. Again. Snuggling you has given me one helluva boner. I tried to think about other things, keep it cool today, but… Don’t think my feelings for you are ever gonna be platonic.”

Steve’s pheromone-drenched Omega brain took a moment to process this, and he was incapable of being anything but blunt. “Do you believe in scent-mates, Eddie?”

“Okay, comin’ clean.” Eddie’s hands moved up to cup Steve’s face. “Been obsessed with your teasing lil’ perfume, since you presented in junior year. Let’s find out, huh?”

Steve scrambled into Eddie’s lap for real, flung his arms around his neck, and all-but crushed the Alpha to him. Nope, he couldn’t have done that half an hour ago, while he was lying here feeling exhausted and generally like shit.

Eddie kissed Steve like he’d never been kissed—thoroughly and possessively, and dammit, adoringly. That bland banana taste was gone in an flash. No blockers worked for kissing, and Eddie’s true taste flooded him. It was herby with bitter notes, all doused in that multithreaded sweetness Steve had been going wild for. That rich, creamy banana was a major, major strand of Eddie’s musk, in a heady, kicky Alpha kinda way.

No wonder Steve always liked that damn fruit. He only loved the taste of Eddie, which he literally got high on. He scrubbed his tongue against Eddie’s and did his best to give as good a kiss as he got.

Eddie was for sure Steve’s scent-mate, and he was Eddie’s. After a few more minutes of kissing, and a little more snuggling and scenting, Eddie confirmed that he one-billion percent agreed.

…

A month later, Gareth finally showed his face around Eddie again.

After a whirlwind courtship, he and Steve were moving into a cosy log cabin in the woods. Eddie was wheeling out Steve’s basketball hoop, and Steve was fetching their guitars from the van. Turned out, for the one hobby they didn’t share, there was plenty they did. Steve had even had to fill in for Gareth at D and D, after the other Omega mysteriously vanished to stay with an aunt, without even finding out if Eddie was mad or not.

Eddie growled, glancing between the two Omegas. “You wanna kill him, Steve, or am I gonna do it?”

“Don’t be a dick, Eddie,” said Steve. “He brought us together. He fixed my rejection sickness.”

He fixed us both, and I didn’t know I needed to be fixed. He sure helped make me a very happy Alpha.

“Look, I know it was a bit of a gamble,” said Gareth, twisting his hands. “I’ve had my suspicions, right from when you used to lay into Carol and Tommy for me. You said more than once that you always wanted to hit ’em harder. Something always pulled you back, some faint scent, even though those two repelled you. And then, I got to know Steve too, and Chrissy did a tarot reading that said you were fated. Even Robin said she had a hunch, and what with Steve being sick for so long… We played tic-tac-toe. I lost so I had to be matchmaker. I mean, it has worked out, and… You’re not gonna kill me, right?”

“No promises, Gareth,” said Eddie. “I mean, what took you? Why didn’t you bash our heads together months ago? And how could you run out halfway through my most totally metal campaign?”

“So, we’re good or not?”

“Jesus, Gareth, how many times?” bitched Steve, as Eddie beamed toothily between them both. “He’s being a dick! Hey, you wanna be my flower-Omega at our wedding next month?”

Gareth hung around for a beer and to help them finish moving in. When he hung around after that, Eddie gave him his very best platonic hug.

The type he could never give Steve Harrington.

“Now scram,” he growled, once he let Gareth go. “Thanks to you, I totally need to carry my future bride over the threshold.”

🍌💖🍌💖🍌💖🍌💖

Thank you for reading 💖 You can find my other steddie omegaverse fic on Ao3 here 💖

[inmydr3amz]

Could you write a bailey's sister! Make out with benj nielsen?

°⋆｡right in front of you

​🇧​​🇪​​🇳​​🇯​ ​🇳​​🇮​​🇪​​🇱​​🇸​​🇪​​🇳​

✦ synopsis: in which benj realizes the right girl has been right in front of him all along

⟡ content warnings: none just fluff!

✦ word count: 1223

✮⋆ a/n: sorry this took me so long ive been busy w school 😭😭 also idk if this is what u had in mind. If not, feel free to drop another request w more details!! ⋆✮

p.2

You hate your sister for a lot of things: the fact that she doesn't let you wear her make-up, or her clothes, the fact that she's embarrassed to be seen with you, the fact that she still calls you her "baby sister" even though you're 15 now and only a year younger than her anyway, the fact that Benj has been in love with her for years even though she has this weird push and pull thing with him where she treats him like shit but then acts like she likes him when she doesn't actually give two shots about her him and just like the attention all the while you've always been right there.

One thing you don't hate about her, though, is the fact that she drops you off at the Nielsens' when she picks Alyssa up to hang out because it comes with a perk—you get to spend the day with Benj.

You've been best friends your entire lives because while your sisters were casting you off to the side, you were hanging out with each other.

And still, the idiot has heart eyes for the one sister who doesn't look his way, when all you've ever done is see him.

Your sister is a stupid jerk, you're sure of it, a damn toxic bitch, too—pulling the sweetest boy you've ever known along for the flattery then tossing him away when she's bored, or finds someone else, or simply when they're at school because she's embarrassed to be seen around Freshmen when she's literally just a Sophmore.

Sisterly love and all that—but that doesn't mean you have to like her.

It's getting to you now, like it always does, and it's bubbling up, up, up, 'till it just comes out—

Saturday afternoon. Rainy. Cold. You're laying on Benj's bed, staring at the ceiling, legs draped over the edge. You're wearing one of his sweaters. You listen to the sound of the rain tapping against the window, the glass cold to the touch.

He's sitting next to you, so close you can feel his body heat, and the mattress dips under your head whenever he bounces his thigh. He has his lower lip between his teeth, muttering little swears. Hands grip the controller, eyes trained on the shooter game displayed on the T.V. in front of him.

He groans and mutters a soft "Fuck." as he loses, tipping back a little.

You just can't take it. You really, really can't—

"Hey, Benj?"

He pulls one side of his head seat away from his ear. "Hmm?" he hums, looking down at you.

"Why do you like my sister?"

His face flushes—not because you're not supposed to know. He knows you know; he told you himself. You still remember the day: 4th grade, when he'd started chasing frogs. His face was red from running around when he met you under the slide at recess. Bailey and Alyssa were on the seesaw. He'd leaned over and said, "I like someone." You got excited because you thought it might be you. And then he said it was your sister. Your relationship with her has been strained ever since.

No, he just didn't expect it. You can tell because he's choking on air when normally he loves talking about Bailey.

He coughs one more time to clear his throat. "What?" he asks, strained.

You sit up to be eye-level with him and play with the sleeves of his hoodie you're wearing. It even smells like him—shampoo and lotion and vanilla.

"Bailey. Why do you like her? She's a bitch."

"Oh, come on," he says, and there's an amused glint in his eyes. He knows you and your sister don't get along. He and Alyssa don't get along very well, either. "I know o don't have the best relationship with my own sister, either, but don't you think you're being a little mean?"

"Benj, seriously." You're sounding upset now.

He was going to start a new game—but he stops short hearing your curt tone. He puts his controller down and hooks his headset around his neck. "Y/N, what's going on?"

You take a shaky intake of breath, feeling tears start to prick at your eyes—and your jaw start to set the more you think about your sister. "How do you like Bailey? She doesn't even like you. Hell, she's embarrassed by you!" you exclaim, throwing your hands around.

His face furrows with confusion, then intense with a flicker of pain. He slumos back. "You're being mean," he says softly, defeated. You hate seeing him defeated. He's too nice to look defeated.

You chew on the inside of your cheek hard to fight off how queasy you feel. "I'm not trying to be mean, Benj. I just don't think you should waste your time on her." When I'm right here.

When I actually appreciate you.

When I actually love you.

Even with that sad, puppy dog face, he still has a little awestruck glow in his eyes. "Because she just . . ." He sighs dreamily. "She's great, you know? She's pretty, and funny, and—"

You've taken this for years now. You can't. Not today.

You kiss him.

It's mindless, really. Your body leans forward of it's own accord, driven by the way you yearn for him.

His eyes widen and he just freezes, holding his hands up like he's scared to move. When it ends, and you look at him like you're a little shocked by your own actions, it hits him: he's fucking in love with you.

Sure, there's always been that Baily infatuation—but that was always the chase of the unattainable thing. It's easier to want someone you know you'll never have a chance with because then when you're rejected you don't have to confront the forever-hungry fear that maybe you're unlovable. It was never real.

But you? Oh, you . . .

You've always been real.

"Benj—" you go to say when he grabs you by the elbow and pull you into a bruising kiss. There's no hesitation this time, no freezing up. You flow right into it, melt under him as he shuffles, hand on the small of your back as he guides you to lay down. Your lips move against his like they have a mind of their own. The kiss is messy and unexperienced and it doesn't matter because it's good and it's Benj.

God, nothing has ever felt so natural.

You fist his shirt and pull his body against yours. He's half against you, holding himself up with his forearm next to your head, that hand absentmindedly playing with your hair, the other hand grabbing your waist and shifting you in time with his shifts under him and all you can think is hands, hands, hands.

Benj's hands.

Hot hands.

Hand placement.

That hand slipping under your (his) sweater to hold your bare skin.

He lets out a little desperate sound before pulling away, panting and eyes glazed over. You're panting too, loosening your grip on his shirt to press your hands flat on his chest.

Benj blinks, wets his lips. "I really have been wasting my time with Bailey," he quips breathlessly.