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bitchiswild · 3 days ago

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Kisses and Chaos

Yunjin x Fem! Reader

Giselle x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 22k

Warning: fluff kinda, angst, and Y/n is a player but she’s a mess!

A/n: haiii guys Hru 🥹 I’m not necessarily back but I wanted to write something for you guys for Valentine’s Day as my valentine gift to you 🩷 so enjoy it, it’s not my best work (it’s a mess and I didn’t re-read it) and if you guys ask I’ll make a part 2 :3

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sometimes, when you’re bored, you start talking to people, just to pass the time. And before you know it, you’re in a relationship you never even wanted, but you were too nice to shut it down.

But this time? You’re single. The catch? You somehow ended up with two Valentines.

You met Aeri in your Asian American Studies class, one of those Gen Eds you had to take. At first, it was just the usual small talk, complaining about assignments, joking about the professor’s weird grading system, bonding over how neither of you wanted to be there that early in the morning. Then, out of nowhere, she started flirting. And you? You never back down from a challenge. So, of course, you flirted right back.

It didn’t hurt that Aeri was hot, amazing body, confident smirk, the kind of girl who knew exactly what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it.

And apparently, what she wanted was you.

“So, Y/N… are you doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” Aeri asked nonchalantly, casually checking her nails like this was just another conversation.

You knew her game. You knew exactly what she was trying to do. But if there was one thing you loved, it was flipping the script.

“Oh, you know,” you said, stretching your arms like this was the most casual thing in the world. “Romantic dinner, maybe some flowers, a little gift… the usual Valentine’s Day stuff.”

Aeri glanced up, her interest piqued. “Oh?” she mused, tilting her head. “Who’s the lucky person?”

You grinned, keeping your voice light. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

She rolled her eyes, but there was amusement in them. “Oh, come on. You can’t just drop that and not tell me.”

You shrugged. “What can I say? I like to keep things interesting.”

Aeri let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “You’re such a tease.”

“No, but seriously, do you have a date?” Aeri asked, facing you now, her eyes betraying a hint of nervousness as she waited for your response.

You met her gaze, your smile never faltering. “I don’t,” you replied, keeping your tone casual. “I was just going to stay in, maybe watch a movie. You know, chill.”

Aeri’s expression shifted slightly, almost as if she were relieved, but you couldn’t be sure. She let out a soft laugh, her usual confidence slipping back into place. “Sounds pretty nice, actually.”

You leaned in a little closer, teasing her just enough. “Yeah? What about you? Got any big plans?”

She paused for a second, clearly considering her response. “Nothing too crazy,” she said with a shrug, though her eyes were still on you, like she was waiting for something.

The bell rang, signaling the end of class, but you stayed in your seat, watching as Aeri packed up her things, her movements quick and practiced. The tension between you two was still there, unspoken, but thick in the air.

As she stood up, she caught your gaze, her lips curling into a sly smile. “So… you sure you don’t want company for Valentine’s Day?” she asked, voice low and playful.

You leaned back in your chair, taking a moment before responding. “I mean, I’m not opposed to company,” you said with a grin, “but I want a grand gesture. I just won’t be anyone’s Valentine, you know?”

Aeri’s expression flickered for a second, as if trying to process your words. “A grand gesture?” she repeated, the teasing tone still there, but with a hint of curiosity.

“Yeah,” you replied with a shrug, still smiling. “You’ve got to earn it.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly, studying you as if deciding how to play this. “And what makes you think I haven’t already earned it?”

You stood up, grabbing your bag, the challenge clear in your eyes. “Maybe I’ll let you prove it.”

You turned to leave, but not without feeling the weight of her gaze on your back. You didn’t look back, at least, not yet.

“I’ll see you around, Aeri,” you said casually, leaving the door open for whatever she might do next.

Aeri stood there, replaying your conversation in her mind, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “A grand gesture…” she muttered to herself, clearly scheming. She was used to getting what she wanted, but this time? It was a different kind of challenge. You weren’t going to make it easy, and she liked that. Now, she had to think of something big enough to impress you.

Meanwhile, you walked to your car, a cocky grin spreading across your face. You knew exactly what you were doing, playing the game just right. You’d seen the way Aeri’s eyes had lit up when you’d said no one could just be your Valentine. It wasn’t arrogance; it was just the way you were. You weren’t going to settle for easy, and everyone seemed to think they could win you over with a few sweet words or a simple gesture. But that wasn’t how it worked with you.

You leaned against your car, taking a second to enjoy the feeling of being in control. Aeri was hooked. She’d play her cards, try her best to impress you, but you knew, no one played you.

Let the games begin.

You drove to a nearby café near campus, ready to get some assignments done. You could use the quiet to focus, especially after the little game you’d started with Aeri. As you walked in, lost in your thoughts, you bumped into someone, knocking over her drink.

You immediately panicked, hands flying to grab napkins from the counter. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” you blurted out, rushing to clean up the mess.

But before you could make a bigger fool of yourself, her hand gently stopped you.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she said, her voice light with laughter. You looked up and met her eyes, catching her smile. “It’s just half-drunk tea, it won’t stain.”

You paused for a moment, taking in her presence. She was... pretty. You couldn’t help but think that as you continued fumbling with the napkins.

“Are you sure?” you asked, still a bit unsure. “Tea usually stains.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “That’s true, but it’s green tea. And honestly? It’s pretty watered down, so it’s basically just flavored water at this point. I’m sure it won’t stain. It’ll dry up just fine.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, handing her the napkins anyway. “Well, I’m still sorry. Let me at least buy you something to make up for it.”

She considered it for a moment, then gave a playful shrug. “Alright, I’ll take you up on that.”

You led her to the counter, exchanging a few lighthearted comments along the way. Once you reached the register, you turned to her, offering a warm smile. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

She mirrored your grin, her eyes lighting up. “I’m Yunjin.”

The energy between you two felt easy, almost like you’d known each other longer than just a few minutes. After getting your drinks you guided Yunjin to a nearby table, pulling out a chair for her before sitting down across from her. “So, Yunjin,” you began casually, sipping your drink as you settled in, “do you go to NYU or…?”

She smiled, resting her arms on the table. “Yeah, I do. I’m actually in business school.”

“Nice, same here,” you said with a nod, leaning back in your chair. “What’s your major?”

“Marketing,” she replied, her eyes lighting up. “How about you?”

“Marketing too,” you grinned, feeling a little surprised but also intrigued. “Looks like we have more in common than just this tea disaster.”

Yunjin laughed, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Guess so. What are the odds, huh?”

You leaned in a little, trying to keep the conversation light, and flashed her a playful grin. “So, Yunjin, if you’re in the business school, you must be really busy, huh?”

She rolled her eyes, grinning. “You have no idea. Between classes, group projects, and my part-time job at the café, I barely have time to breathe.”

You laughed, nodding in understanding. “Sounds like my life. I swear, my schedule’s so packed, it’s a miracle I can even manage to have a conversation like this.”

Yunjin leaned back, eyeing you with curiosity. “A conversation? Or are you just really good at distracting yourself?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Maybe a bit of both. It’s a skill, really.” You paused, then added with a smirk, “But honestly, I’m glad I bumped into you today.”

Yunjin’s expression softened, her smile becoming more genuine. “Yeah, same here. It’s nice to meet someone who’s not just another student cramming for exams or talking about business strategies.”

You chuckled, glancing around at the bustling café. “Yeah, it’s refreshing, right? A little chaos here and there makes life interesting.”

She agreed with a nod. “Definitely. I swear, I’d lose my mind if I didn’t have little breaks like this.”

There was a brief pause, and then you casually asked, “So, what are you doing for Valentine’s Day? Got any fun plans?”

Yunjin’s eyes widened slightly, then she shrugged nonchalantly. “Valentine’s Day? Honestly, I haven’t really thought about it. It’s always so overhyped, you know?”

You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Really? Most people are either super into it or totally avoid it. What about you?”

She hesitated for a moment, clearly considering the question. “I guess I’m somewhere in the middle? I don’t mind the idea, but I don’t expect anything too crazy. What about you?”

You leaned back, teasing. “Well, I’m kind of a big deal, so I might have a couple of people vying for my attention.”

Yunjin laughed, clearly amused. “Oh really? Are you some sort of player or something?”

You smirked. “I wouldn’t say player, just... popular.”

She shot you a skeptical look. “Uh-huh, sure. So, who exactly are you planning to spend the day with?”

You let out a playful sigh, exaggerating just a little. “Honestly, it’s up in the air. I don’t make plans until the last minute.”

Yunjin raised an eyebrow. “Classic. But hey, if you’re as popular as you say, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Maybe,” you said, leaning in just a bit. “But I’m still waiting to see if anyone can come up with a grand enough gesture to win me over.”

Yunjin smirked. “A grand gesture, huh? Well, that’s something I’m definitely interested in hearing more about.”

You smirked, watching her reaction carefully. “A grand gesture, yeah,” you said, leaning back in your chair as you watched her, knowing the spark of curiosity was there. “Not just the usual flowers and chocolates, you know? Something that shows effort. I can’t just be anyone’s Valentine.”

Yunjin tilted her head, her eyes narrowing playfully as she teased, “Is that so? You really think you’re that special?”

You leaned forward, keeping your voice casual but with just enough confidence to make it clear you weren’t just talking for fun. “I mean, I am a catch. It’s gonna take something impressive.”

Yunjin laughed softly, her lips curving into a smile. “Alright, alright. You’re a catch, got it. But what if I told you I was thinking about doing something special for you?”

“Already? We just met!” you said with a smirk, raising an eyebrow as you leaned back in your chair.

Yunjin chuckled, clearly not backing down. “What can I say? You made an impression.” She paused for a moment, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Besides, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I like a challenge.”

You couldn’t help but grin. “A challenge, huh? Guess we’ll see who can top the other with their grand gestures. It’s gonna be tough to outdo me, though.”

She gave a playful shrug, clearly unbothered. “I’m up for it. But don’t underestimate me.”

You leaned forward a little, enjoying the playful tension. “You think you can outdo the competition?”

She leaned in a little closer, her eyes lighting up with a mix of mischief and excitement. The space between you two felt charged, and for a brief moment, you could feel the heat of her presence. “Maybe. I guess we’ll see how things go. You said you want a grand gesture, right?”

You nodded, now even more interested in what she had in mind. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Yunjin hesitated for a moment, then, almost as if she were testing the waters, asked, “So, you’ve got someone else in mind, don’t you? Someone you’re planning on spending Valentine’s Day with?”

You smiled, trying to keep your cool, but you could tell she was fishing. “Maybe. I mean, I’ve got options, right? But honestly, nothing’s set in stone. It’s all about the effort, you know? Whoever can really surprise me, that’s who gets my attention.”

Yunjin studied you for a moment, her smile turning a little more confident. “Well, maybe you’ll be surprised. You might just end up with two Valentines after all.”

You couldn’t help but grin, the excitement of the game intensifying. “Two? I’m intrigued. Let’s see if you can impress me enough to make it worth it.”

As she spoke, Yunjin leaned just a little closer, her arm brushing against yours in the slightest motion, a deliberate graze that sent a small spark of electricity through you. Her eyes never left yours, and the playful challenge between you both suddenly felt even more tangible.

You exchanged a knowing look, the playful energy hanging in the air. “Alright, Yunjin, you’ve got my attention,” you said, tapping your fingers on the table. “But don’t expect me to go easy on you. I like a good challenge.”

Yunjin’s grin widened, her confidence growing. “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. I’m not the type to back down from a challenge.” She picked up her drink, taking a slow sip as she glanced at you over the rim of her cup. “Guess we’ll see who ends up on top when the day comes, huh?”

You chuckled, the excitement of the situation starting to hit you. “You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that. But be careful. I’m not someone who’s easily impressed.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be impressed,” Yunjin said, her eyes gleaming. “The real question is: will I be the one you choose in the end?”

You met her gaze, feeling the playful spark between you both. “Well, you’re definitely making it interesting.”

Yunjin leaned in just a little more, her voice low and teasing. “Just wait, Y/N. I’ve got some ideas that might just blow your mind.”

Her hand brushed against yours again, this time lingering a little longer, before she pulled back slightly. The air between you was thick with tension, but the excitement was undeniable.

“Let me get your number,” Yunjin said with a smirk, her eyes glinting with mischief. “So I can decide when I can pick you up for our Valentine’s Day date.”

“Wow, confident, aren’t we?” you replied, raising an eyebrow, impressed by her boldness.

Yunjin chuckled, unfazed. “What can I say? I like to take charge when I know what I want.”

You leaned back in your seat, studying her for a moment. “I’m not easily won over, Yunjin. You’ll have to put in some serious work to impress me.”

She leaned forward slightly, matching your intensity. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m up for the challenge.” She paused, her grin widening. “And I’m pretty sure I’ll be the one you’re thinking about when Valentine’s Day rolls around.”

You couldn’t help but smile, feeling the playful tension building between you both. “We’ll see about that.”

Yunjin pulled out her phone, her fingers quickly tapping away. “You’ll find out soon enough,” she said with a wink as she handed you her number. “But I’m not going to wait forever, so think fast.”

You took her phone and entered your contact info with a smirk of your own. “I’ll think about it,” you said, giving her a look that left the challenge hanging in the air.

“Good,” she replied, her voice low and teasing. “Take your time. But don’t take too long.”

Yunjin got up and left, her confident stride taking her out of the café, leaving you sitting there in complete disbelief. You stared at your phone, still processing everything that had just happened. Her number was saved in your contacts now, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at how fast things escalated.

What the hell did I just do?

You shook your head, half-amused and half-astonished by how quickly you’d found yourself in this mess. Two Valentines? Really? This was definitely going to be more complicated than you’d ever expected.

You giggled to yourself, the absurdity of it all sinking in. Well, this is going to be fun...

Valentine's Day was coming, and you had no idea how this was all going to play out, but one thing was for sure, this game was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

You leaned back in your chair and let out a light laugh. Let the games begin.

~~~

“Y/N! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE 2 VALENTINES?!” your best friend Kazuha yelled, her voice rising in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you’re playing with people’s feelings again!”

You let out a groan, slumping in your seat as Kazuha stared you down, her arms crossed and eyes narrowed. She was not buying whatever you were about to say.

“Kazuha, I swear, it just happens! It’s my aura,” you defended yourself, throwing your hands up in mock innocence. “I can’t help it if people are drawn to me!”

“Y/N, shut the fuck up,” Kazuha shot back, throwing a cushion at you. “You know exactly what you're doing. You’ve got two people chasing after you, and you’re just sitting there like it’s nothing.”

You chuckled, tossing the cushion back at her, “What can I say? It’s a skill. Not everyone has it.”

Kazuha rubbed her temples, her frustration palpable. “I swear, you’re a walking disaster. You're gonna end up making someone cry with all this back-and-forth nonsense."

“I’m not doing anything... yet,” you smirked. “Let the games begin, right?”

Kazuha sighed dramatically, clearly over it. “You’re impossible. Just... don’t make things worse. You might have a way with words, but someone's gonna get hurt if you’re not careful."

You shrugged, unfazed, as you scrolled through your phone. “I know what I’m doing. It’s just a little fun. Don’t worry so much.” You smirked, raising an eyebrow. “What if I make it three Valentines?”

Kazuha’s eyes practically bulged out of her head. “Three? Are you trying to have a meltdown? You’re gonna have an entire love triangle on your hands, Y/N!”

You chuckled, leaning back in your chair with a mischievous glint in your eye. “Why stop at two? The more the merrier, right?”

Kazuha slapped her forehead, exasperated. “You’re seriously gonna make this a competition, aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah. Why not? It’s not like anyone’s heart is on the line... yet,” you said casually, not even looking up from your phone.

“You’re playing with fire,” Kazuha warned, but there was a hint of amusement in her tone now. “Just remember, you can’t keep juggling people forever without someone getting burned.”

You smirked again. “I’m just having fun. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Kazuha shook her head, but she couldn’t help a small smile from forming. “You’re impossible.”

You looked at your best friend, putting down your phone and walking over to her. “Look, I promise after my dates, I’ll tell them,” you said, trying to reassure her.

Kazuha shot you a skeptical look, her arms crossed. “You really have to be careful, Y/N.”

“I know, and I will,” you replied, trying to sound serious, but you couldn’t quite hide the playful tone in your voice.

Kazuha raised an eyebrow. “What if you end up liking them? After these dates?”

You let out a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of your head. “Then I’d be in a serious pickle.”

Kazuha sighed dramatically, clearly not convinced. “You’re seriously digging yourself into a hole, aren’t you?”

You shrugged. “It’s all part of the game, Kazuha.”

She stared at you for a moment before a new thought seemed to strike her. “Who are these girls, anyway?”

You hesitated for a second before answering. “Yunjin and Aeri.”

Kazuha’s eyes went wide, and she let out a huge gasp, her mouth hanging open. “Y/N... YUNJIN AND AERI ARE BEST FRIENDS!!!!”

You froze, a feeling of dread creeping up on you. “What?”

Kazuha was practically shaking, her voice rising with disbelief. “What the hell, Y/N? You’ve got two of the most popular girls on campus both after you, and you’re playing them against each other??”

You blinked, suddenly feeling like you were in over your head. “I... didn’t know they were best friends!”

Kazuha threw her hands up in exasperation. “Are you serious right now?! This is like some messed-up love triangle waiting to explode. Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?”

You rubbed your temples, already feeling the weight of the situation. “Great. This just got a whole lot worse.”

Kazuha’s voice softened slightly, but the concern was still there. “You better be careful, Y/N. This is more than just ‘fun’ now. They’re both gonna find out eventually.”

“They won’t. I’ll make sure of it.” You said, with a confident grin, trying to mask the nervous energy bubbling beneath your calm exterior.

Kazuha narrowed her eyes at you, clearly not buying it. “You think you can keep them both in the dark? You’re walking a fine line here.”

You shrugged nonchalantly, though your mind was racing. “I’m good at keeping things under control. I’ve got it handled.”

Kazuha rolled her eyes. “I’m not so sure. You can’t keep up this charade forever, you know.”

You let out a deep sigh, already feeling the stress creep in. “I know, I know. But hey, it’s Valentine’s Day, right? How complicated could it get?”

Kazuha shook her head, half laughing and half worried. “You’re crazy. But whatever. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you when everything goes up in flames.”

You chuckled nervously, already imagining the mess you might’ve just gotten yourself into. “I’ll deal with it when it happens.”

~~~

You were sitting in your car, parked outside the café, trying to get some studying done, when your phone buzzed again. You sighed, thinking it was just one of the usual notifications, but when you checked, you saw both Aeri and Yunjin had sent you messages.

Aeri’s message was short and sweet: “Hey, want to meet up later? I need to talk to you about something important... ;)”

Your heart skipped a beat. The playful tone told you she wasn’t just asking for a casual hangout.

Right after that, Yunjin’s message popped up: “Hey! I was thinking we should meet up today, got something on my mind, and I need to ask you something in person. What do you say?”

You leaned back in your seat, a grin tugging at the corners of your lips. They both wanted to meet up. You knew what was coming, and as much as you loved the thrill of this little game, there was no denying the rush it gave you. But now, you had to juggle both of them. You typed out quick responses.

To Aeri: “Sure, I’ll meet you later. What time works for you?”

To Yunjin: “Sounds good. When and where do you want to meet?”

The messages sent almost simultaneously. You sat back and let out a breath, trying to focus. Kazuha’s warning echoed in your mind, but you shook it off. You’d be fine. You had to be.

Aeri replied first: “How about 5 pm? I’ll be at the park near campus.”

Yunjin responded right after: “Let’s meet at the café at 6. I’ll be waiting.”

You stared at your phone for a moment, then chuckled. This was getting more complicated by the second. But there was no turning back now.

At 5 pm, you walked into the park, nerves creeping up as you scanned the area. Aeri had been so mysterious in her messages, and now you couldn’t help but wonder what kind of grand gesture she had in mind.

You spotted her near the fountain, but this wasn’t your usual “meet me in a café” vibe. She was standing confidently by the water, a soft pink balloon in her hand and a small bouquet of flowers at her feet. It was a picture-perfect moment.

"Hey," you greeted her, your heart pounding, a playful smile tugging at your lips. You couldn’t help but admire the effort she’d put into this.

Aeri smiled warmly, her eyes glinting with excitement. "I know, I know, this is probably a little much," she began, twirling the balloon in her hand as if it were no big deal, "but you deserve something special. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I want to ask you properly."

She took a step closer, her voice dropping a little, but her excitement obvious. "Y/N," she said, her smile growing, "I’d be honored if you’d be my Valentine. I know we’ve had some fun getting to know each other, and I think we have something that could be really amazing. What do you say? Will you be my Valentine?"

The moment hung between you, her words sincere yet playful, and you had to admit, you were impressed. You weren’t one to be easily won over, but this was a whole different level. The balloon, the flowers, it was grand, thoughtful, and definitely something to remember.

You grinned, shaking your head in disbelief at how bold she was. "Aeri, this is... a lot. But I like it."

She beamed. "So, you’ll be mine?"

"Yeah," you replied, your voice almost a whisper, "I’d love to be your Valentine."

Aeri’s eyes sparkled, and for a moment, she looked like she’d just won the biggest prize. "Great. You won’t regret it, I promise. I’ve got plans."

You both exchanged an excited glance as she handed you the bouquet, her gesture as grand as the moment.

Aeri’s smile lingered as she handed you the bouquet, her eyes searching yours for a reaction. You could tell she was really excited, and it made the moment feel even more special. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, glancing down at the flowers in your hands before speaking again.

“So, I guess I’ve got your attention now, huh?” she said playfully, a hint of mischief in her voice.

You chuckled, nodding as you looked back at her. “Yeah, you definitely know how to make an impression, Aeri.”

“I aim to please,” she said with a wink, a light laugh escaping her. The two of you stood there for a moment, the playful energy between you palpable. It was clear that Aeri was genuinely enjoying the moment, and you couldn’t deny that you were, too.

After a few more moments of talking, just enjoying the vibe, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out, glancing at the screen. Your heart skipped for a moment as you saw it was a text from Yunjin.

“Everything okay?” Aeri asked, noticing the change in your expression.

You hesitated for a second, debating how much you should say. You didn’t want to give away too much, not when things were getting complicated. You quickly glanced down at the message from Yunjin before looking up at Aeri.

“Oh, it’s just Kazuha,” you said quickly, putting your phone face down in your hand. “She needs me for something.”

Aeri’s eyes softened a little, her playful tone now replaced with genuine concern. “Oh, really? Is everything okay with Kazuha?”

You nodded, giving a small, reassuring smile. “Yeah, she’s just going through some stuff and wants to talk. I told her I’d be there for her.”

Aeri looked at you with a thoughtful expression for a moment. “I get that. If you need to go, I don’t want to keep you.” Her voice softened further, and you could hear the sincerity in her words.

You shook your head quickly, feeling a bit guilty for not being fully honest and using your best friend as an excuse. "Are you sure?"

Aeri gave a small, understanding smile. "Yeah, I mean, if it’s really important, I get it." She took a step back and put her hands in her pockets, her demeanor still warm but with a bit of distance as if trying to give you space. "Kazuha’s your best friend, right? You should be there for her."

You nodded, but a feeling of guilt gnawed at you. You’d definitely misled Aeri a little, and while you didn’t want to lie, you couldn’t exactly tell her the whole truth, not yet, anyway.

You caught her gaze again and gave a reassuring smile. “It’s just a quick thing, I promise. Kazuha’s got a lot on her plate right now, but I’ll be back in no time.”

Aeri raised an eyebrow but seemed to accept your words. “Alright, but don’t make me wait too long. You’ve got a Valentine who’s already looking forward to making plans with you, after all.”

You chuckled nervously, "Don’t worry. I won’t leave you hanging."

She smirked, clearly not buying into your reassurances entirely, but she gave you a playful wink. “Well, I’m counting on it. You’ve got a lot to live up to, Y/N.”

You smiled, feeling a little more at ease, and without thinking too much, you leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

Aeri froze for a moment, her eyes widening in surprise before a soft blush crept up her neck. She glanced at you, slightly flustered, then smiled warmly. “Guess that’s your way of saying you’ll be back soon?”

You pulled away with a sheepish grin. “Exactly. Can’t leave you hanging too long, right?”

Aeri chuckled, clearly flattered, and shook her head. “Alright, alright. I’ll hold you to that. Be safe, Y/N.”

You gave her a wink and a quick wave before turning to leave, the weight of the situation still on your mind, but a little thrill from the moment lingering as well.

~~~

You rushed to the cafe, checking your phone as you hurried through the door. Just in time, you thought, glancing up to see Yunjin already sitting at a table near the back, a confident smile on her face as she spotted you walking in.

Her eyes sparkled with something you couldn’t quite place, and she immediately stood up, adjusting her coat with a flourish. “Look at you, right on time,” she said, her voice light but with a teasing undertone. “I knew you wouldn’t leave me waiting long.”

You took a seat across from her, still catching your breath from the run over. “Wouldn’t dream of it. So, what’s all this about, huh? You’ve got that look in your eyes.”

Yunjin leaned in slightly, her eyes locking with yours, filled with excitement and maybe a little mischief. “Well, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I wanted to do something special for you.”

You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Special? You’ve already got me curious. What’s this grand gesture I’ve been hearing about?”

She smiled wider, sitting back in her chair before reaching into her bag. You couldn’t help but notice the small twinkle of anticipation in her eyes as she pulled out a small, wrapped box and placed it in front of you.

“Open it,” she said, her voice soft but laced with excitement.

You glanced up at her, a mix of curiosity and amusement in your expression. “I’m not sure if I’m ready for whatever this is.”

Yunjin’s smile didn’t falter. “Come on, trust me. It’s not a big deal... just a little something to show you I’m serious about this Valentine’s thing.”

You carefully unwrapped the box, your fingers pausing when you saw the familiar logo on the outer packaging. When you opened it, your breath caught in your throat. Inside was a sleek, delicate Dior bracelet, elegant and expensive, with a silver band and a small charm dangling from it. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

“Yunjin... this... this is Dior?” you asked, stunned, your eyes widening. You couldn’t hide the shock in your voice.

Yunjin’s grin widened as she watched your reaction. “Yeah, it’s Dior. I told you I was serious about this. If I’m going to be your Valentine, I wanted it to be something that really shows you how much I mean it.”

You looked down at the bracelet, almost speechless. It was beyond anything you expected from a casual date or even a flirtation. This was... a gesture. A big one.

“Wow. You really went all out,” you said, still trying to process it all. “I didn’t expect... this.”

She shrugged, her confidence radiating. “I don’t do things halfway. So, what do you say? Will you be my Valentine?”

You blinked for a moment, genuinely taken aback by how thoughtful and extravagant this gesture was. For a brief second, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were playing with fire here, but you pushed the thought away.

“Well, Yunjin,” you said, a smirk tugging at your lips. “You certainly know how to make an impression.”

Her smile softened, and she leaned in just a little closer. “So, that’s a yes, right?”

You paused, letting the suspense build for a second, before finally answering. “Alright, Yunjin. I’ll be your Valentine.”

Her eyes lit up, and she reached across the table, her fingers brushing against yours in a gesture that felt warmer than you expected. “You won’t regret it,” she said, her voice filled with quiet excitement.

You chuckled, feeling the weight of the moment settle in. “We’ll see about that.”

You walked out of the cafe with Yunjin, the Dior bracelet now safely secured on your wrist. The weight of it still felt unreal, but you had to admit, her gesture had left a lasting impression. As you walked down the street, your mind buzzed with thoughts of Aeri and how you were going to juggle this whole situation.

“So, now that I’ve asked you, what’s next?” Yunjin asked, her voice light but with a trace of curiosity. “Do you have a plan for Valentine’s Day?”

You glanced over at her, trying to play it cool. “I guess we’ll see how things go. You’re the first one to ask me, so I’m definitely interested in what you’ve got in mind for the big day.”

Yunjin’s eyes twinkled, a smile creeping across her face. “I’ve got something special planned. You’ll have to wait and see, but I promise it’ll be worth it.”

You chuckled, not able to resist the excitement in her voice. “You’re really going all out for this, huh?”

Yunjin shrugged nonchalantly, though her playful smile didn’t falter. “When it comes to something like this, why not go all in? You deserve it.”

You couldn’t help but feel a small thrill run through you at her words. Yunjin was clearly invested in this, and you were curious to see what she had planned. But at the same time, you felt a small pang of guilt. Aeri was probably wondering where you were, and you couldn’t avoid the fact that you were now juggling two Valentines, two amazing, beautiful, and passionate girls. What a mess this had turned out to be.

As you walked towards the subway station, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out to find a message from Aeri, and your stomach dropped a little. You didn’t know why, but something about her messages always seemed to pull at you.

“Hey, are you free tonight? I was hoping we could talk more about... well, us. Let me know when you’re free. <3”

You paused for a moment, biting your lip. Aeri was so sweet, and she was definitely in the running for your Valentine. But what about Yunjin? This was getting complicated, fast.

Yunjin glanced at you, noticing the change in your expression. “Everything okay?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.

You quickly hid your phone, forcing a smile. “Yeah, just a little something with a friend. Don’t worry about it.”

Yunjin raised an eyebrow but didn’t press the issue. Instead, she smiled, her hand brushing against yours again as she added, “Well, whatever happens, I’m glad we met. And you won’t regret picking me as your Valentine, I promise.”

You returned her smile, feeling a little guilty, but also intrigued. “I guess we’ll see about that.”

As you said goodbye and parted ways, you couldn’t shake the feeling that things were about to get a lot more complicated. Valentine’s Day was only a few days away, and you had no idea how you were going to navigate this little love triangle you’d gotten yourself into.

You slammed the door behind you as you rushed into your apartment, the weight of the day finally crashing down on you. Kazuha was in the kitchen, but you didn’t even acknowledge her as you rushed to your room. You threw yourself onto the bed, burying your face in your pillow and screaming into it. The tension of juggling two Valentines had officially reached its breaking point.

“What the hell am I doing?” you muttered into the pillow, letting out a frustrated groan. Your mind raced with thoughts of Aeri’s sweetness, Yunjin’s grand gesture, and how the hell you were supposed to keep up with it all.

You could hear Kazuha’s footsteps approaching your door, and she knocked lightly before entering. "Y/N, what happened? Did something go wrong?"

You lifted your head just enough to look at her, eyes wide with panic. “I’m in way too deep, Kazuha. I’ve got two Valentines now, and I’m not even sure what I’m doing. Aeri’s been so sweet, and then Yunjin... she just went all out with the Dior bracelet and now I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do.”

Kazuha raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “So you’re telling me, you went ahead and accepted two Valentine’s invites?”

You buried your face back in the pillow, muffling your voice. “I didn’t mean to! It just… happened. I’m an idiot.”

Kazuha sat on the edge of your bed, sighing. “Well, you’re definitely a mess, but that’s nothing new. Just be honest with them, okay? You can’t keep playing this game and not expect things to blow up in your face. They both deserve more than you just juggling them around.”

You sat up, rubbing your eyes. “I know, I know… but how do I even tell them? I’m not ready to pick just one yet. I don’t know what I want.”

Kazuha gave you a sympathetic look. “Look, you don’t need to rush. But don’t keep them hanging, okay? You owe them more than that.”

You nodded, your chest tightening. “I guess I’ll figure it out. I just… I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

She gave you a small grin, patting your back. “You’ll be fine. You always are.”

You let out a sigh, still feeling overwhelmed but grateful for Kazuha’s blunt, no-nonsense advice. One thing was for sure: you had a lot to figure out before Valentine’s Day. And there was no going back now.

You sat up on your bed, finally lifting your face from the pillow, a new wave of determination flashing in your eyes. Kazuha gave you a skeptical look as she raised an eyebrow.

"No, no," you muttered, shaking your head. "I’ve got this. I gotta lock in the player in me. I can’t let this get to me. I’m gonna be nonchalant about it. Chill, calm, collected." You nodded to yourself, as if convincing your own mind.

Kazuha rolled her eyes but smirked. "Yeah, sure, good luck with that. But you do you, I guess."

You let out a deep breath, lying back down on your bed, trying to calm the nerves. "I’m not gonna let either of them think they have me wrapped around their finger. I’ll keep it cool, play it like I’m not phased. They’ll respect that more, right?"

Kazuha shook her head but laughed. "I swear you’re impossible."

You grinned, looking at the ceiling. "It’s the only way to play the game. One of them might end up being more than just a Valentine, but for now? I’m keeping it light. Keeping it fun."

Kazuha shook her head again but gave a small chuckle. "I can’t believe you. Just don’t let this whole thing blow up in your face, okay?"

You gave her a confident smile. "Trust me, I got it. I’m the master of this stuff."

Kazuha just sighed, clearly unsure, but walked out of your room anyway, leaving you to lay back down and think about the chaos you were about to manage.

This Valentine’s Day was shaping up to be way more complicated than you ever imagined. But, hey, you were ready. You’d make it work, one way or another.

You let out a deep breath, still lying on your bed, your fingers absentmindedly playing with the edge of your blanket. “And they won’t find out,” you muttered to yourself, as if repeating it like a mantra would make it true. “I’ve got it under control. I can handle both of them. No one’s gonna get hurt. I’ll play it smoothly. No slip-ups.”

Your mind raced, wondering how you could keep everything from unraveling. “I just gotta stay calm. If I keep my cool, keep my distance, they’ll never suspect a thing.”

You closed your eyes for a second, letting the idea settle in. “No way are they gonna find out. I’m not gonna let this blow up in my face. I can handle it. Just gotta keep the charm turned on and the lies well-rehearsed.”

You smiled to yourself, trying to shake off the slight tension in your chest. Kazuha was right about one thing, this was gonna be complicated. But, hey, if anyone could juggle two Valentines without getting caught, it was you.

The only thing you had to do now was make sure no one figured it out. Simple, right? Keep things smooth and under wraps. Let's just hope Aeri and Yunjin haven't talked to each other yet.

Valentine's Day had arrived, and you were already feeling the tension building up. You had your plan set: Yunjin’s date started at 3 PM and would end at 7, just enough time to give you a brief window to recover before Aeri's date kicked off at 7:30 PM.

You dressed in something casual but still nice, nothing too flashy but enough to show you’d put some effort in. You glanced at the clock, knowing you had to keep things on schedule. You couldn’t afford to mess this up.

~~~

Yunjin’s date started off in the cutest way possible. You arrived at the café to find her already waiting by the window, her eyes lighting up as soon as she saw you. She waved enthusiastically, and you couldn’t help but grin back. There was something so magnetic about her energy, so warm and inviting.

"Hey, you made it!" Yunjin said, her smile stretching from ear to ear. "I was hoping you'd show up on time."

"Of course," you replied with a playful wink. "I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting."

Yunjin motioned for you to sit, and as you did, she handed you a small bouquet of freshly picked flowers. "I thought you’d like these. Something simple but sweet," she said, her cheeks flushing slightly as she handed them to you.

You were honestly taken aback by the thoughtful gesture. It wasn’t over-the-top, just a simple, genuine moment. "You’re amazing," you said, unable to hide your smile.

She smiled shyly, clearly pleased that you liked them. "I’m glad you like them."

As you both ordered your drinks, Yunjin, of course, got her usual matcha latte, and you opted for a caramel macchiato, there was an ease in the conversation that made everything feel natural. Yunjin had this ability to make even the smallest things feel important. She asked about your day, your interests, and the conversation flowed effortlessly. She shared little anecdotes about her childhood, making you laugh with funny stories about her attempts at cooking or her obsession with collecting random trinkets.

"You know, I never understood why I love those tiny figurines," she said, giggling. "But I’ve got a collection at home that’s pretty impressive. I swear, every time I go to a market, I find a new one to add."

You laughed, genuinely enjoying her quirkiness. "I think that's adorable. You should show me sometime."

As the conversation carried on, you could feel yourself getting lost in her presence. She was the kind of person who made everything feel light, fun, and easy, and her enthusiasm was contagious.

Around 5 PM, Yunjin suggested a spontaneous walk in the nearby park. You both strolled around, chatting about everything and nothing, until she suddenly stopped by a bench and pulled something from her bag.

"I know we’re still in the middle of our date, but I brought this for you," Yunjin said, a little sheepish.

You raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

She revealed a small, hand-decorated jar filled with homemade cookies. "I baked these for you," she said with a proud smile. "I know it’s cheesy, but I thought it'd be cute. I may not be a professional chef, but they taste pretty good."

You took the jar from her and opened it, the smell of fresh-baked cookies instantly hitting you. "These smell amazing, Yunjin. I’m so impressed," you said, taking a cookie and giving it a bite. It was soft and delicious, just like her thoughtfulness.

"You like them?" she asked, her eyes hopeful.

"I love them. You’ve totally outdone yourself," you said, giving her a playful nudge.

As the date neared its end, Yunjin leaned in slightly, her voice soft. "I had a really great time today, Y/N. It feels so easy to be with you."

You smiled back at her, feeling your heart flutter just a little. "I did too, Yunjin. It’s been so fun."

After exchanging a few more sweet words, you both shared a quick hug before parting ways. As you watched her walk away, you felt this warmth in your chest that made you second-guess everything about this ‘player’ act. Yunjin was special, there was no denying that.

But you still had one more date to go...

You rushed back home, your mind buzzing with excitement from your afternoon with Yunjin. She was sweet, thoughtful, and had a way of making everything feel so special. But there was still Aeri’s date to go, and you couldn’t afford to let your guard down just yet.

You quickly changed into something a bit more polished, opting for a sleek, yet casual outfit. You glanced at the clock, 7:15 PM. You had a little time to spare, but not much.

As you made your way to the café where Aeri had asked to meet, you couldn’t help but think about what had happened with Yunjin. It was almost like a little fantasy, a moment that felt real, but not quite.

You entered the café, and Aeri was already there, waiting. She looked stunning as always, her hair falling in soft waves, and she had this confident, almost daring look in her eyes as she saw you approach.

"Y/N," she said, her voice warm but with a playful edge. "You’re late. But I guess I can forgive you... this time."

You smiled, feeling a little guilty. "Sorry, I was caught up in something. But I’m here now."

Aeri raised an eyebrow, clearly curious. "Something interesting, huh?"

You gave her a nonchalant shrug. "Just... spending time with someone special," you said, keeping your voice calm.

Aeri’s eyes narrowed just a little, but she didn’t push it. "Well, I’m glad you made it. I was actually thinking we could do something a little different tonight."

You leaned in, intrigued. "Different how?"

She reached into her bag and pulled out a small box. "I hope you’re in the mood for surprises," she said, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

You raised an eyebrow as you took the box from her. Inside was a dainty gold necklace with a delicate heart-shaped pendant. The soft shine of it caught the light, making it look elegant and thoughtful.

"This is..." you trailed off, genuinely surprised by the gesture. "Aeri, you didn’t have to..."

Aeri grinned, clearly proud of herself. "I wanted to. I know it’s nothing huge, but it’s a little something to show how much I care."

You looked up at her, feeling a little taken aback by the sincerity in her eyes. "It’s beautiful. Thank you."

Aeri smiled, clearly pleased with your reaction. "I’m glad you like it."

After a moment, Aeri leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms. "You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about us, Y/N. About what we could be... You’re someone I really enjoy spending time with. I hope you feel the same way."

You nodded, feeling the weight of her words. "I do, Aeri. I really do. Tonight’s been amazing."

Aeri’s smile softened, her voice lowering just a bit. "I’m glad. Because, you know, I’m not one to do things halfway. So, if you want to take this further, I’m all in."

The air between you two shifted, a mix of excitement and vulnerability hanging in the balance. You realized, in that moment, just how much you liked Aeri, maybe more than you’d been willing to admit.

But as she looked at you, waiting for your response, a small part of you couldn't help but think of Yunjin too. This was all getting more complicated than you’d ever imagined.

But for now, you focused on Aeri and her smile. "I’m all in too," you said, making sure she knew that you meant it.

Her smile widened as she reached across the table, taking your hand in hers. "I’m glad," she whispered. "Let’s see where this goes."

And just like that, you were caught in the middle of two beautiful people, both vying for your attention, and Valentine’s Day had become far more than just a simple celebration of love. It had become a game of choices, and you weren’t sure how it was all going to turn out. But you were excited to find out.

~~~

You rushed back home, still trying to act calm, even though your mind was racing with all the mess you’d just gotten yourself into. Yunjin’s sweet gesture, the bracelet, and then Aeri, Aeri was different, and you felt that spark. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were just having fun, right? But now, it felt like you were teetering on the edge of a cliff, just waiting for the fall.

You walked in and found Kazuha lounging on the couch, scrolling through her phone, her usual laid-back demeanor. You threw yourself on the couch next to her, trying to appear cool, trying to keep it together. "Hey, it wasn’t that bad," you said with a nonchalant shrug. "Yunjin's date was cute, the bracelet was nice. Aeri, too, she’s sweet. It’s all fine. Totally under control."

Kazuha put her phone down and raised an eyebrow, her gaze skeptical. "Right... I knew the nonchalant act was fake," she said, her voice dripping with amusement. "Come on, spill it. You’re clearly freaking out."

You let out a frustrated sigh, sinking into the couch. "Okay, okay. You’re right. I’m losing it here, Kazuha. This is way more complicated than I thought it would be."

Kazuha sat up, her teasing smile gone now, replaced with a more serious expression. "What happened? What did you do?"

You rubbed your forehead, trying to gather your thoughts. "So, I had this cute date with Yunjin, right? She gave me this amazing Dior bracelet, and I, " you stopped, a little taken aback by how deep into it you were. "I don’t even know, Kazuha. Then right after, Aeri pulls me in for her date, and she gives me a necklace. A necklace, Kazuha. Like, she’s seriously into me, and I... I don’t know what to do."

Kazuha’s eyes widened. "Wait, so you’re seriously seeing both of them now? Yunjin and Aeri?"

You nodded, feeling the weight of the situation finally crashing down on you. "Yeah. I know, it’s messed up. But I can’t stop now, can I? They’re both amazing, and I, I don’t want to hurt them. But I’m definitely in over my head."

Kazuha let out a long breath, her voice serious this time. "Y/N, this is gonna blow up in your face. You’re playing a dangerous game, and someone’s gonna get hurt. They’re not gonna stay in the dark forever."

"I know," you muttered, frustration building up. "But I’ve got to keep it together, Kazuha. I can’t let them find out. Not yet. I need time to figure this out."

Kazuha shook her head, a soft smile pulling at her lips. "Take your time, but don’t be an idiot. Someone's gonna find out sooner or later, and you need to decide who you really want to be with."

You looked at her, trying to suppress the panic rising in your chest. "Yeah, you’re right. But... how do I pick? They're both so different. It’s like I'm torn in two directions."

Kazuha gave you a knowing look. "Don’t get too comfortable with the ‘player’ act, Y/N. The longer you wait, the messier it’s gonna get. I just hope you figure it out before one of them figures it out for you."

You let out a sigh, finally feeling the weight of the situation hit you fully. "I guess I just have to make a decision soon... before things spiral out of control."

Kazuha slapped you lightly on the back, her voice light but serious. "Just don’t drag it out too long. I’m not cleaning up this mess when it all falls apart."

You chuckled weakly, realizing how true her words were. "Thanks, Kazuha. You really know how to keep me grounded."

She grinned. "Someone has to, right? Just don’t screw this up too badly."

You laughed, but the anxiety still gnawed at you. Valentine’s Day was supposed to be fun, but now it feels like the biggest mess of your life. All you could do was hope you wouldn’t get caught in the middle of your own game.

You lay back on your bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you. The adrenaline from the chaos of the day had worn off, leaving you with nothing but the aftereffects of what you’d just done. You thought about all the moves you’d made, how smooth you tried to play it.

But now, the idea of lying to both Yunjin and Aeri started to feel less like a game and more like a time bomb ticking away. What if they found out? What if they already knew and were just playing you the way you were playing them? The thought made your stomach twist.

You ran your hands through your hair, trying to make sense of everything. One thought came to mind: maybe you could just tell them the truth. You briefly entertained the idea of a group chat, but then immediately shot it down. That would be a mess. That would make everything worse, right? It was too public, too much drama. You couldn’t handle that level of chaos.

Still, you couldn’t shake the thought of them finding out on their own. They were both smart, both perceptive. What if they already suspected something was off? What if Yunjin and Aeri weren’t as clueless as you’d hoped? You groaned and buried your face in your pillow, the reality of your situation starting to settle in.

You had two choices: keep lying, keep playing the game, and risk it all blowing up in your face. Or, you could come clean now and try to salvage what was left. Maybe they’d appreciate the honesty. Maybe they wouldn’t.

Your mind was racing, flipping between the possibilities. Either way, you couldn’t avoid the truth forever. It was just a matter of when, if it would be on your terms or someone else’s.

You looked at your phone, half tempted to text them both, but you knew you needed to clear your head first. You needed to figure out how to navigate this before everything collapsed. But the question lingered in your mind: What if they knew?

You woke up the next morning to your phone buzzing with two messages, one from Yunjin and the other from Aeri. You rubbed your eyes, trying to shake off the lingering fog of sleep, and reached for your phone.

First, you checked Yunjin's message:

Yunjin: "Hey, had an amazing time with you yesterday! 💕 We should definitely do something again soon. Let me know when you're free!"

You smiled at the text, but before you could fully process it, you saw a message from Aeri pop up:

Aeri: "Hey, are you free today? I was thinking we could talk more about… well, us. Want to come over later?"

Your heart skipped a beat, but you tried to stay composed. You stared at the message for a few moments, a mix of excitement and anxiety coursing through you. This was the moment of truth.

You hesitated for a second, then texted back:

Y/N: "Sure, sounds good. I’ll swing by later! "

Once you sent that, you quickly flipped to Yunjin’s message. You didn’t want to leave her hanging either, so you typed:

Y/N: "Hey, same here! I’d love to hang out again soon :33 . Let’s figure out a time. But I’ve got something later today, so maybe after that?"

You sent both replies, your mind still racing. The choices were piling up, and you knew the sooner you dealt with it, the better. The fact that Aeri asked you to come over meant things was about to get real, and you needed to be prepared for what was to come.

With a sigh, you set your phone down, feeling the weight of the situation. There was no turning back now. You had to face it head-on.

You spent the next few hours pacing around, trying to mentally prepare for what was about to unfold. You couldn’t afford to mess this up. You had no idea what would happen when you saw Aeri later. Would she pick up on the tension, or would she be just as oblivious as you were trying to be?

The clock seemed to tick louder as you got ready. You were overthinking everything. Each outfit you tried on felt like you were preparing for a job interview rather than a date. You eventually settled on something casual, trying to keep it lowkey, but still cute enough to show you put in some effort.

When the time came, you grabbed your things, made sure to double-check you had everything you needed, and left. Your nerves were a mix of excitement and anxiety, but you kept telling yourself, You’ve got this. Just go with the flow.

Aeri’s place was just a few blocks away, so the walk gave you some time to calm your nerves. When you arrived, you took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. The door opened almost immediately, revealing Aeri standing there, smiling warmly.

“Hey, you!” she said, pulling you into a hug before stepping back to let you in. “I’m so glad you came. I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

You smiled, feeling a flutter in your chest as you stepped inside. The place smelled like fresh flowers, and there was a soft playlist of instrumental music playing in the background. Aeri had clearly made an effort to set the mood.

"Thanks for inviting me over," you said, trying to sound calm despite the chaos in your head.

“Of course,” Aeri replied, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “So, I’ve been thinking a lot about… well, about us.”

You froze slightly at her words, trying not to let your nerves show. You took a seat on the couch, trying to seem relaxed. “Yeah, me too,” you said, keeping your voice steady.

She sat down next to you, her eyes locking onto yours. “I’m really enjoying spending time with you, Y/N,” she said, her tone soft and sincere. “And I just wanted to know… do you think there’s something more here between us?”

You felt your heart skip a beat, and you weren’t sure if you should feel relieved or terrified. You could feel the weight of her question pressing on you, and you could feel the other half of your mind screaming, What do I do now?

Before you could respond, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You quickly glanced at it, seeing a message from Yunjin.

Yunjin: “You busy? I was just thinking about you. Let me know when you’re free. ”

Aeri noticed the slight shift in your focus and tilted her head. “Everything okay?” she asked, her expression softening.

You nodded quickly, shoving your phone back in your pocket. “Yeah, just… just checking something. Sorry.”

Aeri gave you a knowing smile. “You don’t have to apologize. If you’re distracted, I understand.”

You smiled nervously, then remembered the plan you had set in motion. “I was just thinking… I really like you, Aeri. A lot. But we should take things slow, see where this goes. You know?”

Aeri’s smile widened, her eyes softening with understanding. “I feel the same way,” she said, placing her hand on yours. “No rush. We’ve got time.”

You felt a wave of relief wash over you, but deep down, you knew this wasn’t over yet. There was still Yunjin to consider. And who knew what else would come next?

For now, though, it felt like a small victory. You just hoped you could keep it from getting any more complicated.

The tension between you and Aeri continued to build as the evening wore on. After some small talk, you both started opening up more, sharing things that made you feel vulnerable. The light, casual conversation had turned into something deeper, something you hadn’t expected when you first walked in.

Aeri had moved closer on the couch, and there was a subtle shift in her body language. She was no longer just sitting beside you, she was leaning in, her attention fully focused on you. Her eyes were soft, but there was a hint of something else there, something unspoken.

“Y/N,” Aeri said softly, her voice almost a whisper. “I’m glad you came tonight. I feel like we’re really connecting, you know?”

You nodded, feeling your heart race a little faster. The air around you both felt thick, like something was about to happen, but neither of you were saying it outright.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about you,” you confessed, your own voice low and hesitant. “And… I don’t know. It’s just, I didn’t expect to feel this way.”

Aeri smiled at you, her fingers brushing against yours. She gave you a teasing look, her eyes twinkling with something playful, but there was an undeniable intensity behind her gaze. “You’re not the only one,” she said, her voice laced with the same kind of energy that was running through your veins. “I think you’ve been on my mind a lot too.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. There was just the sound of the music in the background and the slight rustling of your breath, the room almost too quiet for the unspoken tension hanging in the air.

You both looked at each other then, really looked at each other, and the rest of the world seemed to disappear. The way Aeri’s lips parted slightly, the way her pupils were dilated, her gaze unwavering, it all drew you in. You could feel the heat of her body beside yours, the way her presence seemed to fill the space between you.

Without thinking, without any more words exchanged, you both leaned in at the same time. The kiss was soft at first, hesitant, unsure, but it deepened quickly as you both gave in to the pull. The moment your lips met, everything else seemed to fade away.

Aeri’s hands gently cupped your face, pulling you closer as you responded to the kiss, your heart pounding in your chest. The feeling of her lips against yours, the warmth of her touch, it was all you could focus on. The tension that had been building for hours had finally snapped, and you were both caught in this shared moment of vulnerability and longing.

When you finally pulled away, your breath came out in a soft, unsteady exhale. Aeri’s forehead rested against yours, her hands still lingering on your skin. She didn’t say anything for a few moments, just breathing, as if letting the reality of the moment settle in.

You both looked at each other, both trying to process what had just happened. You weren’t sure where this was going, but you couldn’t deny how right it felt at that moment. Still, the reality of your situation, Yunjin, everything that was happening, was never far from your mind.

But for now, you let yourself just be in the moment with Aeri, pulling her in once again, making out with her. The moment you pulled her back in, everything around you seemed to blur, and all that mattered was the softness of Aeri’s lips and the warmth of her body against yours. The kiss was deep, more urgent this time, like you both couldn’t get enough of each other. Her hands slid around your waist, pulling you even closer, and you responded, your fingers running through her hair, tugging her toward you as if you never wanted to pull away.

Aeri’s breath hitched as she pressed herself against you, deepening the kiss with a soft, needy sound. The pace between you both quickened, and before you knew it, the world outside the room had faded away. There was no worrying about the games or the lies anymore, just the heat between the two of you, the undeniable chemistry that had been building since you’d first met.

The kiss was everything, passion, tension, and a little bit of recklessness all at once. But as much as you wanted to let go completely, the reminder of the situation, of everything else that was tangled up in this, lingered at the edge of your mind.

Still, in this moment, with Aeri in your arms, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything except the feeling of her lips on yours and the way she made everything else feel so distant. As you pulled Aeri closer, your heart began to race, faster and harder than you expected. Each kiss made it beat louder in your chest, the rhythm matching the intensity of the moment. You could feel the heat of her body pressed against yours, and the surge of excitement and uncertainty made your pulse quicken. Aeri's hands moved to your back, pulling you even closer, and you responded, your breath hitching as you deepened the kiss.

You couldn’t think straight, your heart was pounding, every nerve alive with the electricity between you. The world around you seemed to vanish, leaving only the two of you in that space, tangled together.

Your body reacted without thinking, drawn to her like a magnet, but your heart? It was a little out of control, racing with a mix of excitement, desire, and, maybe, just maybe, a little bit of fear. Fear of how complicated things had gotten, but you couldn’t deny that in this moment, none of that mattered.

For now, it was just you and Aeri, caught up in the heat of the make out, and you let yourself get lost in it. The tension that had been building for so long was finally released in this moment, and all you could focus on was how she felt in your arms, how she kissed you back with equal intensity. As you kissed Aeri, everything else seemed to fade into the background. The world, the situation, and the confusion you had been carrying about Yunjin all disappeared. It was as if time stopped for a moment, your heart raced, your thoughts scrambled, but they were all centered on the here and now.

Yunjin? She was nowhere in your mind at that moment. All that mattered was Aeri’s touch, the way her lips felt against yours, and how perfectly everything seemed to align between you two.

The lingering thoughts about how complicated things had gotten, how you were juggling two feelings, evaporated. It was just you and Aeri in this space, no games, no pressure, just a moment of pure connection.

You couldn't deny that as you got lost in the kiss, Yunjin’s presence faded away, slipping to the back of your mind like an echo that wasn’t important right now. All that mattered was this, this intensity, this feeling. For now, you were completely focused on Aeri, letting everything else dissolve away.

As the kiss deepened, the air between you two grew heavier with every second. Aeri’s fingers brushed along your spine, sending shivers down your body as she pulled you even closer. Your lips parted slightly, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft gasp as Aeri’s hands found their way to your cheek, gently cupping it.

"You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this..." Aeri said.

Her voice was breathless, but you could hear the honesty in it. You responded by pressing your lips back to hers, feeling the connection between you intensify with each shared breath. It was like nothing else mattered anymore.

"I think I’ve wanted this too..." you told her.

You didn’t need words. The way you kissed each other spoke everything you both needed to say. Your bodies seemed to speak in unison, your hands tangling in each other’s hair, fingers gripping as if you never wanted to let go.

Aeri’s lips trailed down your neck, sending a wave of heat across your skin. You let out a soft sigh, leaning into her touch. "Aeri..."

Aeri pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes, her pupils dilated and her breath heavy. "I don’t want to stop..."

You responded immediately, kissing her with a fierce, almost desperate intensity, as if this moment was slipping away too fast. The heat, the longing, the closeness, it was all consuming. You couldn’t focus on anything else, and for once, you didn’t want to. "Neither do I..."

Your lips met again, softer now, with a tender touch, as you both held onto each other, feeling the world fade out completely. It was just you two, lost in each other’s embrace, no hesitation, no regrets, only the undeniable pull between you.

As you and Aeri’s lips finally broke apart, your breath heavy and your heart racing, the silence between you two felt strangely intimate. Her forehead rested against yours, and for a moment, everything felt perfect.

But then, your phone buzzed on the nightstand, pulling you out of the moment. You hesitated for a second before reaching for it, and when you saw the message from Yunjin, a wave of guilt washed over you.

Yunjin: "Hey, just wanted to check in. Are you okay? I’ve been thinking about you...and I want to see you. Wanna meet up?"

Your fingers froze over the screen, and the weight of everything crashed back down on you. You could feel Aeri’s gaze on you, the warmth of her body still close, but suddenly, it all felt a little too complicated.

You sighed, looking at Aeri with a bittersweet expression, trying to push aside the heaviness in your chest.

Y/N: "Aeri... Kazuha needs me."

Your voice came out with a sadness you hadn’t meant to show, but it was there, lingering in the air. You knew you had to leave, that this moment couldn’t last forever, and that you couldn’t keep juggling these feelings for much longer.

Aeri’s eyes softened, a gentle understanding in them, but there was a touch of hurt in her gaze too.

Aeri: "It’s okay... I get it. Go to her."

You nodded, feeling the weight of her words even more than you expected. You leaned in for one last kiss, a slow, tender touch, before pulling away.

Y/N: "I’ll text you later, okay?"

Aeri simply nodded, offering a small, sad smile as you stood up, grabbing your things. As you walked out the door, the guilt gnawed at you again, but there was nothing you could do now.

Part of you couldn’t help but wish you could stay with Aeri, in the warmth of that kiss, in the simplicity of just being with her. Before you turned to leave, you paused for a moment, torn between your emotions. You looked at Aeri one last time, her eyes full of understanding, but still tinged with something unspoken. The weight of everything hung in the air, your guilt, your feelings, the mess you had created, but you waved and turned around, taking one last glance at Aeri before walking out the door.

Each step felt heavier than the last, the silence between you two echoing in your mind. You couldn’t shake the feeling of leaving something behind, of walking away from something that had felt so right. But you had to go.

As you step into the hallway, your heart still aches from the kiss, the words left unsaid, and the feeling of Aeri’s touch still lingering on your skin. You couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if you had stayed. But right now, you had to face what was waiting for you outside the door.

You checked your phone again, seeing a message from Yunjin, asking when you could meet up. You had promised her you'd be there soon. And as much as you didn’t want to face her just yet, you knew you couldn’t avoid it. You took a deep breath, pushing down the storm of emotions swirling inside you, and stepped forward, hoping that somehow, in the end, everything would make sense.

You arrived at the restaurant where you and Yunjin had agreed to meet, the scent of food filling the air as you stepped inside. The moment you walked in, you spotted her sitting at a corner table, scrolling through her phone. She looked up as you approached, her face lighting up with a smile that, for a brief moment, made everything feel a little easier.

"Hey," Yunjin greeted you, her voice soft but warm as she stood up. You smiled back, though it didn’t reach your eyes as fully as you would’ve liked. You both exchanged a quick hug before sitting down.

“How’ve you been?” Yunjin asked, her eyes scanning your face as if trying to gauge your mood.

You tried to play it cool, but you could feel the tension in your chest, the weight of the day’s events pressing against you. "I’ve been okay, just... busy," you replied, trying to sound casual but failing to hide the underlying strain in your voice.

Yunjin leaned back in her chair, watching you closely. "You sure? You seem a little off today."

You hesitated for a moment, unsure how to respond. The guilt from seeing Aeri still weighed heavily on you, and now, sitting here with Yunjin, you realized just how complicated everything had become. Your thoughts raced, and for a second, you wondered if you should just come clean, tell her everything. But the words felt stuck in your throat.

"Yeah, just... thinking a lot," you finally said, offering a small smile.

Yunjin didn’t seem convinced, but she nodded anyway. "Well, I’m glad you came. I’ve been thinking a lot too... about us."

The way she said "about us" made your heart flutter in a way that it shouldn’t. You knew you had to tread carefully here, there was too much at stake.

“I... I know,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been thinking about that too.”

Yunjin’s gaze softened as she reached across the table, taking your hand in hers. "I just want to make sure we’re okay. You know? I care about you a lot, and I don’t want things to get complicated between us."

You felt a pang of guilt at her words, the weight of your secret threatening to spill out. You squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her, though you knew you weren’t being entirely honest. “Yeah, I don’t want things to be weird either.”

But as you said the words, you felt like you were lying to her. You wanted to be honest, to tell her the truth about what had happened with Aeri, but the fear of how she might react held you back. The last thing you wanted was to hurt Yunjin.

For a few moments, you both sat in silence, sipping your drinks. The conversation had shifted, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going unsaid. You couldn’t help but wonder if Yunjin sensed that you were hiding something, if she could see the truth in your eyes. And as much as you wanted to keep the illusion intact, you knew that sooner or later, the truth was going to come out.

Yunjin led you out of the café, her hand still gently holding yours as she guided you towards her car. The air was cool, and the late afternoon sun was beginning to dip behind the trees, casting a soft glow across the streets.

When you reached the car, Yunjin popped the trunk and began rummaging through it. You raised an eyebrow, curious. "What are we doing, exactly?" you asked, a little uncertain.

Yunjin glanced over her shoulder and gave you a playful smile. "We’re going to the park. Thought we could sit, talk... maybe get some fresh air." She pulled out a blanket from the trunk and folded it neatly under her arm.

You chuckled softly, feeling a bit surprised but also relieved. Being outside and away from everything seemed like a good idea, especially given how much had been weighing on you lately.

"Alright, sounds nice," you said, a slight smile tugging at your lips. "I wasn’t expecting this, but I like it."

Yunjin closed the trunk and walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for you. "Thought it’d be a nice change of pace," she said as she got in the driver’s seat. "We don’t need to talk about anything heavy, just... hang out."

You nodded, appreciating the simplicity of it. It was exactly what you needed. The idea of just spending some time together, without the complexities that seemed to follow you lately, felt like a small relief.

As she started the car and pulled away from the curb, you let your thoughts drift, trying to push away the weight of your situation with Aeri. It wasn’t easy, but you figured, for now, you could focus on being with Yunjin, just the two of you.

The drive to the park wasn’t long, and the quiet between you both felt comfortable. Yunjin’s music played softly in the background, but neither of you spoke much, both lost in your own thoughts. When she finally parked the car and turned off the engine, you both stepped out and walked to a quiet spot in the park.

Yunjin spread the blanket on the grass, patting it for you to sit down. "It’s nice out here," she said as she settled next to you, her eyes scanning the peaceful surroundings.

"Yeah, it really is," you agreed, taking a seat beside her. The world felt a little calmer here, as if the park was its own little bubble, far removed from the drama and confusion you’d been carrying.

You looked over at Yunjin, who was now lying back on the blanket, gazing up at the sky. You followed her lead, feeling the coolness of the grass beneath you. For a while, the two of you simply stared up at the sky, letting the quiet moments stretch out between you.

It felt nice... easy. But deep down, you knew you couldn’t escape the reality of everything forever.

The soft rustling of the leaves in the breeze was the only sound that filled the air as you and Yunjin laid on the blanket, side by side. The park around you was tranquil, with only a few other people scattered about, but it felt as if the world had slowed down for the two of you. The sun had begun to set, casting a warm, golden hue across the sky, and the air had turned cooler, making it feel like the perfect moment to just relax and be present.

After a while, you turned your head toward Yunjin, finding her gaze already on you. She offered a soft smile, one that made your heart skip a beat.

"You know," she started, her voice low and teasing, "this is a lot nicer than what I expected. I thought we’d just be talking the whole time." Her eyes twinkled, hinting at something unspoken.

You chuckled, feeling the weight of the moment settle between you two, a quiet understanding that hung in the air. "I didn’t mind talking," you replied, "but it’s nice to just... be here with you, you know?"

Yunjin’s smile softened, and she shifted closer, propping herself up on one elbow so she could look at you more intently. Her fingers brushed lightly against your arm, the touch sending a small spark through your skin.

The shift in her posture and the intimacy of the moment didn’t go unnoticed. You felt the energy between you two change, the unspoken tension building slowly but surely.

Yunjin moved a little closer, her face mere inches from yours now, and her breath warmed your skin. Her eyes searched yours, and for a moment, everything else faded away. The closeness, the chemistry between you two, was undeniable.

"Y/N..." Her voice was barely a whisper now, soft and filled with something that made your heart race. You didn’t have to say anything in response. The moment felt suspended in time.

You leaned in slightly, your breath hitching as your lips brushed against hers. The contact was tentative at first, almost hesitant, like both of you were testing the waters. But the second her lips pressed against yours again, something shifted.

It was like a switch flipped, and suddenly everything felt electric. Yunjin's hand moved to your face, cupping it gently, while your own hand found its way to her waist. You both deepened the kiss, the urgency of it growing as the world around you continued to fade away.

The kiss was tender, yet there was an undeniable intensity behind it. You felt her pull you closer, your bodies aligning perfectly as if this was where you were meant to be. Your heart raced in your chest, thumping louder with each passing second, and every touch sent a wave of warmth through your body.

It wasn’t like anything you had expected when you first got into the car with her, but it felt... right. There was something about being in this space with Yunjin that made everything else fall into place. In that moment, you couldn’t think of anything but the kiss, the connection, and the way everything seemed to feel so intense.

Yunjin's lips were soft against yours, but there was an intensity behind each kiss that made your heart race faster. Her hand gently cupped your face, tilting it slightly, as her other hand slid down to your waist, pulling you closer. You could feel the heat of her body against yours, the way she was melting into the kiss, and it made everything inside you stir.

You whisper against her lips "I’ve... wanted this. With you."

Yunjin's breath hitched, and she pulled back just enough to meet your eyes. Her gaze was dark, filled with desire, but there was also something else there, something soft, almost vulnerable."I know... me too." Yunjin said softly.

Her words made your heart skip, and before you could process it, she was kissing you again, more urgently this time. Her lips moved against yours with a passion that made everything else fade away. You responded in kind, your hand slipping into her hair, tugging her even closer, as your body pressed into hers.

The kiss deepened, both of you trying to convey everything you hadn’t said out loud, every unspoken thought, through the touch of your lips. Yunjin’s hand slid lower, her fingers tracing the line of your back, making your breath hitch.

You could feel her smile against your lips, her hands moving with purpose, pulling you even tighter against her. Every inch of your body was alive with the heat between you, and the more you kissed, the less you cared about anything else.

It wasn’t rushed, but it wasn’t slow either, it was a blend of urgency and need, both of you trying to express something you hadn’t yet put into words. Your hands moved to her waist, pulling her in closer, if that was even possible, and you could feel her heartbeat against yours. It was wild, almost as if it was happening without thinking, but it felt so natural, so right.

As you finally pulled away, both of you gasping for air, there was a moment of silence. Yunjin’s eyes were dark, filled with something that mirrored your own feelings, desire, intensity, and maybe even a little bit of vulnerability. You stared at each other for a few seconds, both of you trying to catch your breath, your hearts still pounding in your chests. " I really like you Y/n"

The words hung in the air, almost like a confession, and for a split second, everything else seemed to fade away. Yunjin’s gaze was unwavering, her voice quiet but sincere. You could feel the weight of what she had said, how much it meant, how much it meant to her.

Your heart skipped a beat, and a flutter of warmth spread through you. You hadn’t expected those words, but now that they were spoken, it felt like the truth between you two had finally surfaced. You opened your mouth to respond, but for a moment, the words caught in your throat.

Instead, you reached out, gently cupping her face in your hands, and leaned in to kiss her again, this time softer, as if the kiss was a response to everything unspoken. Your lips met in a tender connection, and you could feel her smile against your mouth. It was a reassurance, a promise, silent, but loud enough to make your heart race all over again.

You pulled back just slightly, resting your forehead against hers, your breath mingling. "I like you too, Yunjin," you said softly, the words flowing with ease now. "More than I expected."

Yunjin's eyes softened, a hint of relief flashing in them as she smiled, her hands running through your hair gently. "I'm glad," she whispered, her voice full of sincerity.

What are you gonna do now?

The day had been a whirlwind, two intense, emotional encounters with Aeri and Yunjin that had left you dizzy, confused, and overwhelmed. The heat of the kisses still lingered on your lips, but the warmth was tainted by a growing sense of anxiety that gnawed at you. You had no idea what to do anymore.

The whirlwind of emotions inside you was like a storm that refused to settle. One moment, you were lost in Aeri’s touch, feeling like nothing else mattered, and the next, you were kissing Yunjin with the same intensity, feeling something real you couldn’t deny. But now? Now, you were left in the silence, alone with your thoughts, trying to make sense of it all.

You kept replaying everything over and over in your mind, the way Aeri’s lips felt, how Yunjin’s touch made your heart race. The more you thought about it, the more the confusion grew. You never wanted to hurt either of them, but how could you possibly choose when both felt so right in different ways?

Your heart was torn in two, and no matter how hard you tried to focus on just one, the other kept sneaking into your thoughts. You didn’t want to betray anyone’s trust, yet here you were, caught in the middle of something that seemed to grow messier with every passing second.

You felt stressed, like you were carrying a weight you couldn’t put down. How were you supposed to make sense of your feelings for both Aeri and Yunjin? How could you be fair to either of them?

Your mind raced, trying to find answers, but it felt like every time you got close to one, the other tugged you in a different direction. You just wanted clarity, some way to figure out how to move forward, or if you could even move forward without everything crashing down around you.

Monday morning arrived, but you could barely focus. Your mind was still tangled in the mess you’d made over the weekend, switching between thoughts of Aeri and Yunjin. You kept replaying the moments you’d shared with each of them, trying to make sense of everything. But all you could feel was the weight of your confusion and guilt bearing down on you.

You were lost in your thoughts as you walked across campus, your mind miles away from everything around you. It wasn’t until you heard Yunjin’s voice cut through your haze that your head snapped up, her voice unmistakable, calling out your name.

“Y/N!”

Your heart skipped a beat, your body freezing in place as your eyes locked onto her. She was sitting at a table with none other than Aeri, who was looking up at you with wide eyes, brows furrowed in confusion. Your breath caught in your throat as the realization hit you like a wave.

Yunjin knew you. And now, Aeri was sitting there beside her, clearly wondering what was going on. The combination of their gazes, the unease in the air, and the sudden pressure made your heart race uncontrollably.

This is it, you thought. You're going to be exposed. Everything you had tried so hard to keep separate was about to collide, and you could feel the tension in your chest building up like a storm about to burst.

The ground beneath you seemed to shift, your knees feeling weak as the anxiety hit you full force. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to run or face them head-on. Either way, you felt like you might faint right there on the spot, your heart pounding so loud you were sure they could hear it.

You slowly took a step toward the table, trying to act normal, but the weight of the situation felt like it was crushing you. You didn’t know what to say, how to explain yourself. Your mind was too frantic, too tangled up in guilt and panic to form a coherent thought.

The moment had arrived, and everything you’d been trying to avoid was now right in front of you.

Your feet moved slowly, almost unwillingly, as you approached the table where Yunjin and Aeri were sitting. Every step felt heavier than the last, your mind scrambling to figure out what to do or say, but nothing came. It was like the words were trapped in your throat.

Yunjin’s eyes lit up when she saw you, a wide grin forming on her face, clearly oblivious to the chaos running through your head. “Hey!” she greeted, her tone warm, but you could feel the tension creeping in, the weight of Aeri’s confused gaze on you.

Aeri, on the other hand, looked like she was trying to process the situation. Her expression flickered between curiosity and suspicion, and it made your chest tighten even more. She had no idea what was going on, but the fact that you were here now, with Yunjin, made things incredibly complicated. You could already feel the questions building in the air.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself before speaking. “Hey…” Your voice felt like a faint whisper, completely at odds with the storm raging inside you. “I didn’t expect to see you two together,” you added, trying to force a casual tone, though it was anything but.

Yunjin raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your awkwardness. “Well, Aeri and I were just chatting, and I figured I’d introduce her to you. I didn’t know you two hadn’t met yet.” Her tone was light, but there was a small hint of something you couldn’t quite place.

Aeri, sensing the tension but still confused, looked between the two of you. “Yeah, I didn’t know you knew each other,” she said, her voice soft, but the curiosity was palpable. “Is there something I’m missing?”

Your heart hammered in your chest, the situation spiraling out of your control. You needed to act quickly, to explain something, anything to make it seem less weird, but your mind was drawing blanks. You glanced at both of them, your stomach twisting with guilt. The whole situation felt like a trainwreck waiting to happen.

“Uh, yeah, we met recently…” You trailed off, the words coming out weak and unsure. The truth seemed too complicated, too messy to explain now. So, you took a step back and tried to deflect. “I didn’t realize you two were friends,” you said to Aeri, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Aeri didn’t seem convinced. Her gaze softened, but there was a flicker of something, maybe suspicion, maybe hurt, that you couldn’t ignore. She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Yunjin interjected, her voice suddenly more serious.

“Y/N… we need to talk later,” Yunjin said, her eyes glancing over at Aeri quickly before meeting your gaze. The weight of those words hit you hard, and you could feel the tension in your shoulders. You weren’t sure if she was referring to what had happened between the two of you or the mess of emotions that had been left unaddressed. Either way, you knew you were in deep now.

Aeri’s eyes flickered between the two of you, narrowing slightly as she looked back at Yunjin. “What do you mean by that?” she asked, a bit sharper this time.

Yunjin chuckled softly, trying to ease the tension, but you could tell it was only making things worse. “It’s nothing to worry about, Aeri. Just... something personal.”

You could feel Aeri’s eyes on you, piercing through you as if trying to read every thought on your face. She was waiting for something more, and the longer you stayed silent, the harder it became to dodge the situation. Your heart thudded in your chest, every second making the air feel thicker, more suffocating.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but it didn’t help. The world around you felt like it was spinning, and you were stuck in the middle of it all. Something had to give, and you had no idea how to make it happen.

All you could do was stand there, caught in a lie, drowning in the complexity of your feelings.

The tension in the air was thick as you stood there, caught between Yunjin and Aeri. You hadn’t expected this moment to come so soon, yet here you were, your heart pounding and your mind racing for a way out of the mess you had unknowingly created. Aeri was eyeing you, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, and the confusion in her expression slowly started to shift into suspicion. Yunjin, sitting beside her, was much more relaxed on the outside, but you could see the subtle way her eyes flicked back and forth between the two of you, a shift in her posture that suggested she was sensing something was off.

Aeri was the first to speak, her voice low but sharp. “So... Y/N, you know Yunjin?” she asked, her tone carefully neutral, but the hint of suspicion was undeniable. You could feel her watching you intently, waiting for your response.

Yunjin, ever the calm one, shifted in her seat, clearly trying to keep things light. “Yeah, we met recently. But you didn’t mention that you two knew each other,” she added, her voice almost too casual. There was an edge to her words that betrayed her attempt to act like everything was fine. She turned to Aeri, a half-smile on her lips. “I didn’t realize you were so close with Y/N.”

The mention of your name hanging in the air made your stomach tighten, and you could already feel the weight of their scrutiny pressing down on you. You opened your mouth to speak, but your words were stuck, tangled up in a knot of guilt and confusion. Aeri’s eyes narrowed slightly, her gaze flicking between you and Yunjin, and you could see the wheels turning in her head. She was piecing things together in her mind, and you knew the moment she realized something wasn’t right.

Aeri’s lips pressed into a thin line as she looked at you. “I didn’t know you two were... so familiar with each other,” she said, her voice cool but laced with an undercurrent of suspicion. “Are you sure there’s nothing else going on between the two of you?”

Yunjin’s gaze turned toward you, her expression unreadable for a split second before she leaned forward slightly, a subtle shift in her posture. Her tone had softened, but it was still cautious. “Yeah, Y/N. You’ve never mentioned that you were close to Aeri. What’s going on?”

You could feel their eyes on you, both of them waiting for an answer, and the silence that followed felt like it would swallow you whole. It wasn’t just a casual conversation anymore. Both women were starting to pick up on something, on the subtle shifts in your demeanor, the way you avoided certain questions, the tension that clung to the air between you.

Aeri’s eyes narrowed further as she leaned in just a bit, her voice barely above a whisper but sharp with suspicion. “What is this? Am I missing something, Y/N?” She wasn’t angry yet, but it was clear she wasn’t going to let this go. The way her gaze lingered on you, expectant and demanding, made you feel small.

Yunjin, still trying to keep the atmosphere light, raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been acting strange lately. Care to explain, Y/N?” There was a subtle change in her tone now, something that hinted at doubt.

The weight of the question pressed down on you. It felt like the walls were closing in on you, like you were caught in a lie you couldn’t escape from. They were both suspicious, their once casual interest in your life now tinged with doubt. You couldn’t keep up the façade any longer, but you had no idea how to get out of this without hurting someone.

Aeri crossed her arms, her gaze steady on you. “So what is it, Y/N? What’s going on with you and Yunjin?” There was no more pretense now, her tone was demanding, like she was waiting for you to fess up.

Yunjin was quiet for a moment, her expression unreadable, but you could see the glimmer of suspicion behind her eyes now, just barely concealed by her calm demeanor. “Yeah, Y/N. What’s going on?” she echoed, her voice slightly colder now.

You could feel the pressure mounting, the noose of your tangled emotions threatening to snap. There was no easy way out of this, no smooth excuse or perfect lie to make everything go away. The confusion, the tension, the guilt... it was all crashing over you at once, and you didn’t know how to handle it. All you could do was stand there, caught between two women who were now looking at you with growing suspicion.

The weight of their eyes on you, the suspicion and unspoken questions hanging in the air, finally broke you. You took a deep breath, your chest tightening, and you realized there was no escaping this anymore. The lies, the half-truths, the constant juggling, it had to stop. You owed them both the truth, even if it meant losing them both. You owed it to yourself to be honest.

You looked at Aeri first, her expression a mixture of confusion and hurt, and then at Yunjin, whose face had gone from casual curiosity to something darker. You swallowed, your throat dry, but you knew there was no other choice now.

“I... I’m seeing both of you,” you said, the words coming out slower than you expected, heavy with the weight of everything that had been left unsaid until now. Your heart was pounding, and you felt exposed in a way you hadn’t before. “I’ve been spending time with both of you, and I... I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Aeri blinked, her expression unreadable at first, and then her lips pressed into a thin line. Her arms were still crossed, but now there was a tension in her posture that made it clear she was holding back a storm of emotions. Yunjin, on the other hand, seemed still for a moment, her gaze fixed on you, but you could see the wheels turning in her head, the realization starting to sink in.

Aeri was the first to speak, her voice low and strained. “So... you’ve been seeing both of us, this whole time? And you didn’t think either of us would find out?” Her words were sharp, edged with something you couldn’t quite place, disappointment, maybe? Betrayal? You couldn’t tell, but the way she looked at you made you feel small. “And you couldn’t be honest with us?”

“I... I should’ve told you both,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. The weight of your guilt made your chest feel tighter. “I didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t want to hurt either of you, but I should’ve known better. I was scared.”

Yunjin finally spoke, her voice quieter but no less impactful. “So, all this time, you’ve been lying to both of us?” She shook her head, her brow furrowing in disbelief. “I don’t even know what to think right now. I thought... I thought you were different.”

You winced at her words, feeling the sting deep in your chest. “I am different,” you tried to explain, though the words felt hollow. “I didn’t mean for it to get like this. I didn’t want to hurt you, Yunjin. I just... I didn’t know how to choose.”

Aeri’s arms uncrossed, and she took a small step back, her gaze drifting away from you as if she couldn’t bear to look you in the eye anymore. “You should’ve chosen sooner,” she said quietly, her voice breaking just slightly, though she quickly regained her composure. “But now it’s too late.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. The tension between all three of you was palpable, a storm of emotions swirling in the air. You had done the right thing by finally being honest, but now it felt like you had destroyed everything in the process.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, but it didn’t feel like enough. It didn’t feel like it could undo the damage you’d done.

The tension in the air lingered, thick and suffocating. You stood there, waiting for something, anything, that would break the silence. But the longer you stood, the more the weight of your actions pressed down on you. Aeri and Yunjin exchanged a brief look, their faces a mixture of confusion, hurt, and maybe even a little anger.

Yunjin shifted slightly, breaking the silence. “I don’t know what to say right now,” she said, her voice strained. She shook her head, her eyes narrowing. “You think we’re just supposed to be okay with this? That we can just go on like nothing happened?”

Aeri stepped forward, her arms crossing once more as she looked at you. “I didn’t expect this from you, Y/N,” she said, her tone soft, but there was an unmistakable edge to it. “I thought you cared about me, about us, but you didn’t even have the decency to be upfront from the start.”

“I do care,” you said, almost pleading. “That’s the problem. I care about both of you. I like you both. But I was scared... I didn’t want to hurt anyone, and now I’ve hurt both of you.”

“You should’ve thought about that before,” Aeri shot back, her eyes flashing with hurt. “You’ve been playing games with us this whole time, and now you want us to just accept it?”

Yunjin took a deep breath, her eyes searching yours. “What do you want, Y/N?” she asked, her voice quieter now but no less intense. “Do you expect us to just move on from this? Do you expect us to just forgive you?”

The question hung in the air, heavier than anything else. You didn’t have an answer. You didn’t know what you were expecting from them. You didn’t know what you wanted anymore.

“I don’t know what to do,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “I don’t want to lose either of you.”

Aeri let out a sharp exhale, frustration clear on her face. “Well, sometimes you have to face the consequences of your actions, Y/N. And right now, it doesn’t look like you’re going to get away without facing them.”

“I don’t know what happens now,” you murmured, the reality of the situation settling in. The weight of the consequences, the uncertainty of the future, it was all too much.

There was a long pause as the three of you stood there, emotions running high, the distance between you growing with every passing second. You didn’t know how to fix this, and you had no idea if there was even a way to make things right.

Finally, Yunjin spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. “I need some time to think. I can’t... I can’t process this all right now.”

Aeri nodded, her expression unreadable. “Same here. I think we both need time.”

With that, both of them turned away, walking in opposite directions, leaving you standing there alone. The silence was deafening, and for the first time in a long while, you felt truly lost.

You had no idea how to fix things or if you even could. But one thing was certain, you had never felt more alone in your life.

You rush home, your heart heavy, your mind a tangled mess of guilt, confusion, and regret. The moment you step through the door, you barely manage to close it behind you before the floodgates open. You collapse onto your bed, burying your face in your hands as the tears come pouring out. The emotions you've been bottling up for weeks, no, for months, are finally spilling over, and you can't stop them.

You feel like you're drowning in the weight of everything, Aeri’s hurt, Yunjin’s disappointment, and the realization that you've messed up in ways you can’t undo. You don't know what you were expecting, but this? This feels like the end of everything. The tears come harder, and you let them, because right now, it’s the only way to release the pain.

There’s a knock on your door, and without waiting for an answer, Kazuha steps inside. Her eyes soften when she sees you on the bed, your face streaked with tears. She doesn’t say anything at first, but you can feel her presence comforting in its own way. She sits next to you, rubbing your back gently.

“You were right,” you say between sobs, your voice shaky. “I messed everything up. I’m such an idiot.”

Kazuha sighs, her hand pausing on your back. “I told you it would catch up to you,” she says softly, her tone calm but not unkind. “You can’t juggle people’s feelings like that and expect everything to stay fine.”

You nod, sniffling as you wipe your eyes, unable to meet her gaze. “I didn’t want to hurt them, Kazuha. I just... I don’t know. I thought maybe I could handle it, but now I’ve lost both of them.”

Kazuha doesn’t respond immediately, instead waiting for you to gather yourself. “You can’t keep hiding from the truth, Y/N,” she says, her voice steady. “You have to be honest with yourself and with others, no matter how hard it is. And maybe you’ll lose them, maybe you won’t. But you can’t keep playing this game.”

You look at her then, finally meeting her eyes, and see the truth in her gaze. The weight of her words hits you harder than any of the things you’ve been telling yourself.

“I know,” you say quietly. “I just... I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

Kazuha gives you a small, understanding smile. “Of course it’s hard. It’s life. But this is how we learn. You’ll figure it out, even if it doesn’t feel like it now.”

The tears come again, but this time you don’t try to fight them. Kazuha just stays beside you, her presence grounding you, reminding you that you’re not alone, even if it feels like the world is falling apart around you.

The next day, you wake up to a heavy, lingering sense of dread. The events from yesterday are still fresh in your mind, the conversation with Aeri and Yunjin replaying in your head. You can't shake the feeling that everything is unraveling, and you have no idea how to put it back together.

You try to distract yourself by getting ready for the day, going through the motions of getting dressed and grabbing your things, but the weight of what happened presses on your chest, making it hard to focus. You barely eat, your mind too consumed by the mess you've created.

When you finally make it to campus, you’re met with a strange mix of emotions. There’s an ache in your stomach at the thought of seeing Aeri and Yunjin again, but also a part of you knows you need to face them. You can’t keep avoiding them. But how do you even begin to fix this?

As you walk across campus, you spot Yunjin sitting by a bench, her expression unreadable as she looks out at the students passing by. Your heart skips, and you hesitate, unsure of whether to approach her or not.

But before you can make a decision, you hear Aeri’s voice from behind you. “Y/N.”

You freeze. The way she says your name, soft but with an edge of something you can’t quite place, makes your stomach flip. Slowly, you turn to face her, finding her standing a few feet away, arms crossed, her eyes trained on you.

"I need to talk to you," Aeri says, her voice tight but not angry. You can feel the tension in the air between you two, but there's something almost... resigned in her expression.

"Okay," you manage to say, voice barely above a whisper. You glance over at Yunjin, who's watching you both with a guarded look, but she doesn’t move, doesn’t approach.

Aeri nods toward a quieter area of campus, and you follow her, your heart racing. The weight of everything, the guilt, the regret, the fear of losing them both, presses down on you as you walk, and you know that this conversation will either be the beginning of something healing or the end of everything.

When you’re out of earshot of the crowds, Aeri stops and turns to face you. Her eyes are still guarded, but there’s a vulnerability there too, something raw that makes your heart ache.

“You really thought you could keep this from us, didn’t you?” Aeri’s voice cracks slightly, and she quickly looks away, trying to compose herself. “I thought you were better than this.”

You swallow hard, the words you’ve been holding back threatening to spill over. "I didn’t want to hurt you, Aeri. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

Her eyes meet yours again, but this time there's a hint of disappointment, a weight you didn't realize you’d put on her. "But you did, Y/N. You hurt both of us.”

The silence that falls between you is thick, suffocating. You want to apologize, to explain everything, but nothing seems right.

“I... I don’t know what to do,” you admit, your voice shaking. “I like both of you. I didn’t expect it to get this complicated, but here we are.”

Aeri takes a deep breath, looking away for a moment before turning her gaze back to you. “You need to figure out what you really want, Y/N. Because right now, it feels like you’re just... avoiding the truth. Running from it.”

Your throat tightens, and you can feel the sting of tears threatening again. “I know... I know I messed up.”

Aeri shakes her head, her expression softening, though it doesn’t take away the hurt. “I’m not mad, Y/N. I’m hurt. And I don’t know if I can keep going like this.”

The words hit you like a punch in the gut, and you suddenly feel like the ground beneath you is slipping away.

“I never meant to hurt you, Aeri,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

Aeri steps back, a sigh escaping her lips. “I think I need some space, Y/N. I can’t keep doing this.”

You nod, your heart breaking as you watch her walk away, every step feeling like another fracture in the connection you once shared. You turn slowly, only to meet Yunjin’s gaze from across the campus, her eyes full of questions. You can’t help but feel like you're sinking deeper into this mess, and no matter what you do now, it might be too late to make things right.

But the last thing Aeri said before she left echoes in your head: “As much as I’m hurt, I still really like you.”

The weight of Aeri’s words still lingers in the air, heavy and suffocating. You stand there, frozen for a moment, unable to move. You feel like everything is collapsing in on you, and you're caught between two people you care about, neither of whom are happy with you right now.

You finally take a few shaky steps forward, looking over at Yunjin. She hasn’t moved, but her eyes are intense, waiting for you to make the next move. The tension is palpable, and you can almost hear her thoughts swirling in the air around you.

You approach her slowly, your heart pounding in your chest. It’s hard to meet her gaze directly, but you do anyway, because this is something you can’t avoid anymore.

“Yunjin,” you start, your voice hoarse, “I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn’t want to hurt you or Aeri. But... I don’t know what to do. I like both of you, and I’ve been lying to myself about how I felt.”

Yunjin’s eyes soften, but she doesn’t say anything for a long moment. The silence between you two feels like an eternity, and you’re starting to doubt whether you’ve made the right choice, whether telling the truth was the best thing after all.

“I didn’t expect this either,” Yunjin finally says, her voice surprisingly calm. “But I’m not blind, Y/N. I can see what’s been going on. You’re not the only one feeling confused.”

You take a deep breath, your stomach turning as you look at her. “I never meant to make you feel like that. I’m just... I don’t know what I want anymore. I care about both of you.”

Yunjin studies you for a moment, and then, much to your surprise, she reaches out and gently touches your arm. “I’m not going to lie and say that I’m okay with all of this. But I understand that feelings aren’t always something you can control. What I can’t deal with is the dishonesty.”

Her words sting, but they also make sense. She’s right. You’ve been avoiding the truth for too long, letting everything fester. But even now, it feels like a monumental task to sort through the mess you've made.

“I understand,” you whisper, your chest tightening again. “But... can you give me another chance? I know I messed up, but I want to make things right. I don’t know how, but I’ll try.”

Yunjin looks at you for a long time, her expression unreadable. Finally, she nods slowly, but there’s still a shadow of uncertainty in her eyes. “We’ll see, Y/N. But first... you need to figure things out, because I can’t keep going in circles like this. Neither can Aeri.”

The words settle heavily between you both. It’s not an answer you were hoping for, but it’s a start, at least she hasn’t turned her back on you completely.

You look around, seeing Aeri’s silhouette walking away in the distance. It’s clear that there’s so much more to fix, and that it won’t be easy. But for the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t feel completely lost. There’s a tiny sliver of hope left, and you’re determined to fight for it, whatever the outcome might be.

The week that follows feels like an eternity. You gave them both the space they asked for, stepping back and letting the silence settle in between the three of you. Your phone stays quiet, your heartbeats growing louder with each passing day. You try to fill the hours with distractions, schoolwork, spending time with friends, and even focusing on things that once brought you peace, but it all feels hollow. The guilt weighs heavy, always present in the back of your mind.

There are moments when you catch yourself reaching for your phone, your fingers hovering over the screen as if you could send a text that would make everything better. But each time, you pull back. You know they need time. You know you need time. It doesn't make the waiting any easier, though.

Your days pass in a blur of routine. You go through the motions, attend your classes, make small talk with classmates, but your mind is constantly racing. It’s like you’re living in two worlds at once: one where you’re just trying to survive, and another where you’re completely consumed by the consequences of your actions.

Still, you keep your composure. You tell yourself over and over that you can handle this. That you can wait. That things will eventually fall into place.

But deep down, you’re a mess. You think of Aeri, her quiet but hurt words, her need for space that still feels like a heavy weight on your chest. Then there’s Yunjin, her calm demeanor that hides the frustration and confusion you know she must be feeling. Both of them deserve honesty. Both of them deserve more than what you’ve given them.

You don’t know what will happen when the week ends. But you know you can’t hide forever. The silence has been deafening, and every moment that passes feels like it’s getting harder to hold everything together.

You’re just... trying to be patient. Trying to wait for the right moment to fix things.

But inside, your heart is breaking piece by piece. And you wonder if you’ll ever be able to fix the mess you’ve made.

Two weeks had passed since everything blew up. You’d given Aeri and Yunjin the space they needed, keeping your distance to give them time to process. The silence between the three of you had been deafening, and in your mind, it had been a blur of guilt, confusion, and self-doubt. You never imagined that you’d end up in a situation like this, but it had happened. All you could do was try to keep your composure and not let the weight of it all crush you.

Now, you were back in the library, trying to focus on your studies. The books in front of you were just words and pages, but your mind? Your mind was a mess. You tried to force yourself to concentrate, to block out the thoughts swirling around your feelings for both Aeri and Yunjin. It wasn’t working. Every moment felt like an internal battle.

You didn’t even realize how much time had passed, so absorbed in your work. That was, until you heard a soft cough, a clearing of the throat that sliced through the silence. You jumped, startled, your heart skipping a beat. As you looked up, you saw them, Aeri and Yunjin, standing right in front of you, their presence almost looming.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” Aeri said, her voice calm but carrying an edge of something you couldn’t quite place.

You blinked, trying to shake off the shock. “What? Oh, yeah. Of course.” Your voice was shaky, betraying the anxiety you were feeling inside. You quickly gathered your things, heart racing, and followed them as they led you out of the library.

“Where are we going?” you asked, trying to catch your breath as your nerves crept up on you.

“My place,” Aeri replied.

The walk to Aeri’s apartment felt like an eternity. Every step you took felt heavier than the last, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on you. What could they possibly want to talk about? Had they made up their minds about what was going on between you? Was this the end of everything? You could feel your stomach in knots, unsure of what to expect.

When you finally got to Aeri’s apartment, you sat down on the couch, trying to steady your breath, but your nerves were running wild. You glanced at both of them, but neither spoke immediately. The air between you was thick, heavy with unspoken words.

Finally, Yunjin broke the silence, her voice steady but full of emotion. “Y/N, Aeri and I have been talking,” she began. “And we came to a conclusion.”

Your heart raced, and you tried to prepare yourself for whatever was coming, but nothing could have prepared you for what Yunjin said next.

“It’s clear that we both like you, and you like us. And to make things less confusing for you,” Yunjin continued, “Aeri and I were thinking... we all date.”

Your mind went completely blank. What?

You blinked, your throat tightening as you tried to process the words. Your head swam, and you felt like the ground was slipping away beneath you.

“Wait,” you stammered, standing up quickly. “You’re saying... you both want to, date me? Like, together?”

Aeri’s eyes softened, her expression gentle yet resolute. “Yes. We talked about it. We both care about you, Y/N. And we can’t deny what’s between us. We thought maybe this would make things clearer, less confusing. We want to be with you, and we’re willing to try this... together.”

Yunjin nodded in agreement, her gaze fixed on you. “And also, Aeri and I confessed that we both had a crush on each other. So, we thought this would be easier for all of us.”

Your chest tightened, and your mind raced. A crush on each other? You looked between Aeri and Yunjin, unsure of what to say. This wasn’t just some casual conversation anymore. This was a big step, something that could change everything.

“I, I don’t know what to say,” you finally whispered, your voice trembling. “I care about both of you. But this... this is a lot. A lot to take in.”

Aeri stepped closer, her voice softening. “We know, Y/N. It’s not easy. But we’re here for you. We want you to be happy. And if that means trying this, together, then we’re ready for that.”

Yunjin nodded, her expression calm but firm. “We’re willing to take the leap, Y/N. Together, if you are.”

Your heart hammered in your chest, and you felt your emotions swirling in a chaotic mix. But somewhere deep inside, you knew that this wasn’t the end. It wasn’t even the beginning of the end. It was a new chapter, a new possibility.

You took a deep breath, your voice shaky but determined. “I... I don’t know what will happen, but... I want to try. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

Aeri smiled, relief flashing across her face, and Yunjin’s eyes softened with a sense of understanding. You didn’t have all the answers, but for the first time in a while, you felt a glimmer of hope.

And maybe that was enough for now.

The following days felt like a whirlwind. You were still processing everything, still getting used to the idea that Aeri and Yunjin were both willing to try this... together. It was exhilarating, overwhelming, and confusing all at once. But something about it felt right, too. You weren’t sure where this would lead, but you couldn’t deny the connection you had with both of them.

Aeri and Yunjin made sure to check in with you, their conversations careful but full of reassurance. They didn’t want to rush you, but they were both clear about wanting to move forward, together. You hadn’t given them a definite answer yet, but every moment with them made it harder to imagine a life without them.

That evening, you met them at a small café, the quiet hum of conversation around you doing little to calm the storm inside your mind. You found your seat, and within moments, both Aeri and Yunjin joined you, sitting across from you, their faces soft but expectant.

“You okay?” Aeri asked gently, her eyes scanning your face as if searching for any signs of doubt or hesitation.

You nodded, even though your heart was still heavy with questions. “Yeah, I’m just... trying to wrap my head around everything.”

Yunjin gave you a small smile, her fingers gently tapping on her coffee cup. “We know it’s a lot to take in. But we’re in this together, okay? No pressure. We just want to be clear with each other.”

You looked between them, feeling your heart swell at the thought of how much effort they were putting into this. They both cared. They really did. You could see it in the way they looked at you, the way they spoke to you, the way they tried to make everything easier for you.

“I’ve been thinking,” you started, your voice quieter now, unsure of how to articulate what was going on inside you. “This is all new to me. I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”

Yunjin’s eyes softened, her voice calm. “We know, Y/N. We’re not trying to force anything. We just want you to feel comfortable, to feel like this is something we all want. There’s no rush.”

Aeri nodded in agreement, her expression sincere. “Yeah. We want to take it slow, if that’s what you need. No one’s expecting anything crazy right away. We’re all figuring this out together.”

You let out a breath, feeling a sense of relief flood through you. As much as the situation was complicated, you realized that maybe it was the best kind of complicated, one where everyone was on the same page, where communication was key, and where you could be honest with each other.

“I think... I think I want to try,” you said finally, your heart pounding as the words left your mouth. “I want to see where this can go. With both of you.”

Both Aeri and Yunjin smiled, and something about their expressions made you feel like maybe this could work. Maybe you didn’t have to choose between them. Maybe the three of you could find a way to navigate this, together.

“We’re in this together, Y/N,” Aeri said softly, her eyes meeting yours with a promise. “We’ll figure it out, one step at a time.”

Yunjin reached across the table, her hand brushing yours gently. “No matter what, we’ve got each other’s backs. We’re all in this.”

The days passed by, and the three of you fell into a routine, one that was different from anything you’d ever known, but still comforting. Your connection with both Aeri and Yunjin grew stronger, and there was a sense of ease between the three of you, despite the complexity of the situation. You were still figuring out the details, but you knew deep down that this was something real, something worth exploring.

One evening, you found yourself at Aeri's apartment again, sitting on the couch with Yunjin and Aeri beside you. The air between you was warm, filled with the quiet hum of music in the background and the clink of mugs as you all sipped on your drinks. But tonight, there was something different. A lingering sense of anticipation hung in the air, a feeling that something important was about to happen.

Aeri turned to you, her usual playful expression softened into something more serious. "Y/N," she began, her voice calm but full of meaning. "We've been talking... and we both feel really strongly about you."

Yunjin nodded, her eyes never leaving yours, her gaze filled with warmth. "We both care about you a lot, and we want to take this to the next step."

You tilted your head, slightly confused but also intrigued. "What do you mean?" you asked, your heart beginning to race with the uncertainty of the moment.

Aeri took a deep breath, glancing at Yunjin for a brief moment before looking back at you. "What we're trying to say is... we both want you to be our girlfriend. Officially. Together."

Your breath hitched in your chest. The words were unexpected, yet they felt like they were always meant to come from them. A part of you had been wondering if this was where things were heading, but hearing them say it out loud made it feel real, more real than anything you had imagined.

"Wait, so... both of you?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, unsure if you heard them correctly.

Yunjin smiled, reaching out to gently take your hand in hers. "Yes, both of us," she confirmed. "We want to be with you, Y/N. We know this isn't a conventional situation, but it's real. And we're ready for this, if you are."

Aeri nodded, her voice softer but just as earnest. "We're asking you because we really believe in this. In us. But we want to know if you feel the same. Do you want to be with us, too? Not just as friends... but as something more?"

You felt your heart race as a mixture of emotions flooded your chest. You had never thought you'd find yourself in a situation like this, but being with them felt right. You liked both of them, maybe even loved them, in different ways, and the idea of being with both of them didn’t seem as impossible as you once thought. You could feel the sincerity in their words, the love they were offering, and the trust they had in you.

Taking a deep breath, you finally nodded, your voice shaky but sure. "Yes. I want to be with both of you too."

Aeri and Yunjin’s faces lit up with relief and joy. They both leaned in, pulling you into a warm embrace. The feeling of their arms around you was comforting, like a promise that no matter what, you were all in this together.

"Thank you, Y/N," Aeri whispered, her voice full of tenderness. "This means everything to us."

Yunjin kissed the top of your head softly. "We’ve got you. Always."

Months passed, and in the blink of an eye, everything had changed. The three of you had navigated the delicate balance of your relationship, learning more about each other every day, about the small quirks, the shared laughter, the quiet moments that made everything feel right. The initial uncertainty had long faded, replaced by a deep, genuine love that bound you all together.

You found yourself waking up in the mornings with Aeri and Yunjin beside you, feeling at home in a way you never had before. The three of you had built a rhythm, an unspoken understanding of each other's needs, boundaries, and desires. It was imperfect, messy at times, but also beautiful in its own way.

There were times when the world outside seemed too complicated, too judgmental, but when you were with Aeri and Yunjin, everything made sense. You weren’t just a couple; you were a team. You had created something unique, something yours.

One evening, after a long day of studying and work, the three of you found yourselves sitting on the couch in Aeri's apartment, nestled into each other. The warmth of their presence was comforting as you all watched a movie, the soft glow of the screen illuminating your faces. Aeri was curled up against your side, her head resting on your shoulder, while Yunjin was leaning against your other side, her hand entwined with yours.

You hadn’t realized how much you needed this moment of peace, no distractions, no pressures, just the three of you, together.

“I love you,” Yunjin said softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she leaned in to kiss you gently on the cheek. The words felt like a promise, one that had been building up over time, and hearing them from her made your heart swell.

Aeri smiled, brushing a lock of hair from your face as she shifted to kiss you on the lips. “I love you too,” she murmured, her voice full of affection.

The words settled in your chest like a heavy weight, but in the best way. “I love both of you,” you replied, your voice filled with sincerity. It wasn’t something you had to think about anymore; it was just the truth. You had fallen in love with both of them, in your own way, and the three of you had built something so strong, so unshakeable, that it felt like nothing else mattered.

The three of you shared a long, quiet kiss after that, the kind of kiss that spoke more than words ever could. It wasn’t about promises or declarations, it was just about love, pure and simple.

Aeri pulled back, looking at you both with a soft smile. “I never imagined something like this,” she admitted, her eyes full of affection. “But I can’t imagine my life without you two.”

Yunjin nodded, her expression warm. “I feel the same way. I never thought I could love two people like this, but with you... it just feels right.”

You smiled, feeling a rush of warmth fill your chest. “Yeah, me neither,” you said, your voice full of emotion. “I never knew love could feel like this.”

The three of you held each other close, the weight of the world outside no longer a concern. You had found your place together.

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the-mandawhor1an · 2 days ago

Text

Searching for the stars pt.3 | Marcus Acacius x f!Reader

Summary: You could have never guessed how much your life would change when you first looked into the dark brown eyes of a stranger who showed up at your work place one day, claiming to be a Roman general who presumably died 1800 years ago.

Words: 2.1k

Tags: Time travel; puppy Marcus; fluff galore; wedding; we might need tissues; no use of y/n;

(further tags omitted to not spoil the outcome)

Speech in italics indicates that Latin is being spoken.

Notes: Part 3 comes just in time for valentines and I did not hold back on the fluff. Happy end incoming. (Also there might be a prequel, who knows)

Comments etc. are appreciated

Divider by @saradika-graphics

“Hey, wake up,” you were awoken by a raspy, sweet voice, whispered into your ear as soft kisses wandered all the way down the side of your neck towards your shoulder. You felt another body right behind you, snuggling against your back and one arm around your waist. “I’m awake,” you yawned and turned your head. “Good morning,” you greeted the man behind you with a soft smile, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Good morning, my love.”

You turned your body around to face him, placing a kiss on his lips, which he eagerly returned. “What if I don’t want to get up?” you teased, running your fingers through his dark curls. “Guess we’re not getting married, then,” he concluded with a shrug, rotating his head to look into your eyes. You knew he didn’t mean it, but you joined into the discussion nonetheless. “No, that’s unacceptable.” “Well,” he hummed and nudged his nose against yours, “then you have to get up, my precious.” You let out a sigh in protest. “Fine.” A soft kiss later, you rose and got out of bed.

It was still very early in the morning. You both had to get ready and you preferred to have enough time to prep just in case things didn’t go according to your plan. First, you hopped into shower, taking your sweet time to mentally and physically prepare you for the long day ahead. Fresh coffee greeted you when you returned to your kitchen. Marcus looked absolutely delicious in the black polo, casually leaned against the kitchen counter, a mug of coffee in his hand too. As soon as you had walked over to get your coffee, he wrapped his unoccupied arm around you, pulling you close to his warm body. “How are you feeling?” “Excited,” you replied, raising the coffee to your lips and taking a careful sip. It was still a mystery to you how he did it, but the coffee always tasted better when he made it.

“Not nervous?” he asked, a smirk creeping up to his lips. “Not at all. I get to marry my best friend.” As soon as you had finished your sentence, his smirk had turned into a full-blown grin. Infected by his expression, you grinned as well, suspecting you knew why your reply made him grin like this. “I did it again, didn’t I?” He nodded. “You sure did. Even with the same facial expression.”

You leaned in closer, allowing him to kiss your forehead while you hummed approvingly. “Isn’t it boring that I’m so predictable?” you asked, not really meaning it, though. Nevertheless, your fiancé refused to even entertain the thought. “You know that I would never grow tired of you.” With the bald patch in his beard just within reach, you kissed the heart-shaped spot and whispered against his skin “keep some of the sweet talk for your vows.” Marcus hummed as well, closing his eyes for a second. “I have plenty more.” “You sure do,” you said as you stole another kiss. Finally, you focused on your coffee and the schedule for the day.

Instead of doing it like everyone would expect, you and Marcus got ready together. None of you believed seeing the bride before the ceremony would bring bad luck, so it just made sense. Besides, you were there to help him in case he needed it. He had gotten adapted to the 21st century quite nicely, but every now and then, he would get stuck and you were ready to help. Additionally, getting ready with him meant you could sneak in a few more kisses and spend time with him – as if you didn’t get enough with him.

Curiously, Marcus watched as you did your own makeup, watching you though the open bathroom door. He had seen it before, but his fascination with you never ended. Every time you came out with a hand mirror to check if you looked horrible in natural light, he seemed completely hypnotized by the mere sight of you. Of course, the first steps looked a little weird, but with every in-between check, the vision of your wedding makeup became clearer and the love in his eyes grew. “You’re so beautiful,” slipped out of him, speechless otherwise so his brain defaulted back to Latin. “Says the handsome one,” you responded, lowering the mirror to give him a warm smile. It was as if you could the little hearts in his eyes. “Come on, I’m an old man.” You shook your head. “Stop that, you’re not.”

Just some time later, you assisted him in buttoning his shirt up and adding the bow-tie. Technically he could do it himself, but it was hard to keep your hands off of him when he looked this good. “Do you remember when you did that for the first time?” You looked up to him, the same expression on his face now that had been there all this time ago. By now it felt like it was years ago. “It was your first full day here, of course I remember.” How could you forget? Your life project, the work you had put your everything in, practically coming to life and he was there, in your apartment, in all of his glory. “I thought about kissing you back then,” he confessed. How would you have reacted to it, you wondered. “Well, you can kiss me all you want now.”

Taking the invitation, he leaned in and kissed you a bit hungrier than usual, causing you to pull back. “Careful, the makeup will smudge,” you reminded him, but it fell on deaf ears. “I don’t care,” he growled. “I do!” A soft chuckle escaped his lips. ”Save that for later.” You rolled your eyes in a playful manner. “Idiot.” “All your fault.”

When it came to getting into your dress, Marcus of course helped you. “You’re so beautiful,” he swooned, not able to take his eyes off of you. “So are you,” you purred. Not wanting the opportunity to go to waste, you took a few pictures in your apartment, before wind might ruin your getup or tears that would surely come sooner or later could mess with your makeup. Marcus looked absolutely gorgeous in his suit and as persistent as he was in telling you you looked like Venus herself would get jealous, you thought he looked like the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

The way to the courthouse was short, you and your husband-to-be holding hands all the way there. The courthouse was small and just minimalistically decorated, you weren’t expecting many guests. Your fiancé lacked family members and everyone you had invited knew why this was the case. As strange as it sounded at first, they had adapted to him just as he had to adapt to the modern times. The ceremony was relatively short, there was no need to mention religion and you would save your vows for the reception afterwards. Your hand was buried in Marcus’s when you listened to the officiant’s speech.

Marcus never stopped looking at you, and a knowing glance was exchanged when the officiant mentioned intertwined fates. You winked at him, he gently squeezed your hand in return. When it came to exchanging the rings, Marcus tugged at your heart strings badly. With your shaking hand in his, he gently slid the wedding band onto your finger and softly said “I promise I’ll be the husband you deserve, in sickness and in health. Until my last breath.” As soon as he saw you tear up, tears sparkled in his eyes as well. “And I’ll be the wife you begged the stars for, until my last breath.” This was it for the vows, at least for now. You were sure he still had a lot more to say in private, and so had you. He kissed you gently, but pulled you in close, one hand in the back of your neck. A little protest escaped you when he pulled back. “Later, my love,” he whispered against your temple before he placed another kiss on your skin.

The party after the ceremony was held in a back room of a somewhat fancy restaurant. You had cake, coffee, lots of fun and later in the day you also had dinner together. You had danced so much with Marcus that your feet felt a little numb and you were thankful to be sitting. Marcus looked so good in the gray suit, especially in the softer light the candles gave off. The silver threads in the fabric sparkled just like the grays in his hair did. He was so damn perfect and he was all yours. Your husband. It felt surreal, like a fairytale that had turned into your reality. It felt like yesterday when you first laid eyes on him; the general. Marcus Acacius, general of the Roman empire.

While you were having dinner, he had his hand on your thigh rather than holding your hand, you needed it to eat, after all. Still it felt so intimate with him, him never breaking contact with you one way or another. His love was so obvious, so pure. Despite your concerns for him, he managed to carry conversations all on his own, switching between English and Italian every now and then, sometimes mixing the two. It made you wonder if he had practiced in secret.

Back at home, it was about 11 at this point, you slow danced on the balcony, still in your wedding dress, under the stars, with just him and you. “I love you, Marcus” “I love you too.”

You looked up an him, there was a sparkle in his eyes, brighter than you had ever seen before. “We haven’t exchanged vows,” he reminded you, placing a kiss on your lips. “If you want to see me cry so badly, do it.” A grin crept up to his lips. “If they’re tears of joy I’m fine with them. Ready?” You nodded and cuddled up to him, leaned your head against his shoulder. You felt him take a deep breath before he started. “I promise to protect you and make sure you receive all the admiration, adoration and support you deserve. I want to make sure you know how precious you are to me and how much I love you.” With a soft hum, you raised your head and kissed his cheek. “and I promise to be there when you need me. I’ll take care of you and make sure you’ll never miss your old life.”

He leaned his head against yours. “I thank the gods for allowing me to have a second chance, to fall in love with you all over again.” “Ubi tu gaius, ibi ego gaia,” you said and cupped his face in your hands. And there were tears in both of your eyes, but you knew he just teared up because you were crying. “I hope today wasn’t too much for you,” you added. Marcus shook his head. “It’s fine. You had fun and I had something beautiful to look at all day.” He grinned and you shut him up with yet another kiss.

Still caged in his arms, you turned around so you could look at the stars together. “How was your first wedding?” you asked him, leaning your head against his again. “Bigger than this. Less formal. Way more alcohol and louder.” He chuckled. You could barely imagine what a wedding back then had looked like, but you were sure he had been just as happy as he was right now. “What about Astra?” “Strikingly beautiful. She was in tears more times than I could count on our wedding day. She was so happy.” With a sigh he kissed your temple and pulled you in closer. “We don’t have to talk about her any more. I know she is happy and safe. Whether it’s in my arms or in the afterlife with our daughter.”

Speaking of…

“Have you ever had a name for her?” “No, Astra wanted to wait until our child was with us before we would choose a name. She didn’t like the idea of just calling her Acacia after me.” “I really like the name Stella,” you said as you closed your eyes and let your body sink against his. Marcus’s chest rumbled. “Mh.” “You don’t like it?” “I do but why have you picked a name for a child you don’t –”

As you opened your eyes again, you saw the expression on his face go from confused to surprised. His mouth fell open and soon enough his lower lip quivered. There were tears in his eyes and you knew there were about a million thoughts racing through his mind in this moment. “You’re…” You nodded. “We are. It’s a girl.”

#roll a trope challenge #marcus acacius #general marcus acacius #marcus acacius x reader #marcus acacius x you #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom

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interstellarlyinlove · 1 day ago

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Heartbroken (Feb 16th)

word count: 531

@wolfstarmicrofic

Remus and Sirius are sitting across from each other in a cafe that serves the best breakfast Sirius has ever had. It’s absurdly early, the sun is not completely up in the sky, and the both of them are sweaty and miserable. At least, Sirius feels sweaty and miserable.

“Do you feel good right now?” Sirius asks, stirring sugar into his coffee.

Remus snorts. “I feel miserable.”

Sirius raises his cup of coffee for a pseudo toast. “Hear, hear.”

“Why would someone do something so energy consuming at five thirty in the morning?” Remus blinks, slumping in his chair. “I am so sore. And tired. How did you convince me to go?”

Sirius scoffs. “As if. It was your idea, darling babe. You wanted us to get into working out this year.” Sirius considers for a moment. “It wasn’t a bad workout class, honestly. Just rather intense.”

“And too loud and dark. Ugh. I can't believe I still have to go through an entire day.”

Sirius laughs. “That’s a funny sentence.”

Remus blinks again. “I have to teach in a couple of hours. Do you know how much fun I have teaching?”

Sirius raises an eyebrow. “You love teaching.”

“I do,” Remus says, nodding miserably. “Just not after a high intensity– what is it that we did, again?”

“I’m not sure,” Sirius says. He rotates his shoulder and it pops. “All I know is I really underestimated how much it would kick my ass.”

“And to think we were teen Quidditch athletes a few lifetimes ago.”

Sirius laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t remind me, you’ll break my heart.”

Remus smiles and Sirius is in love with the smile lines around his eyes. “I know we’re not that peppy right now, but I think we kicked that workout’s ass as much as it kicked ours.”

Sirius nods. “Yeah, definitely.”

Remus looks at his watch. “When does your shift start?”

Sirius cringes. “I forgot about that.”

“You forgot about your job?”

Sirius smiles. “Yeah. I have a twelve hour shift today.”

“Oh no,” Remus says, sounding entirely too mortified.

Sirius snorts. “It’s not that bad. It’s mostly just healing broken bones and runny noses this time of year.”

Remus shudders. “Oh, how I love teaching. Thank you for reminding me.”

“Anytime, Re,” Sirius says. He takes a biteful of his eggs. “I don’t necessarily want to do what we did this morning ever again, but this is nice. Spending more time in the morning with you.”

Remus throws his straw wrapper at Sirius. He’s smiling when he says, “You’re being entirely too sentimental for six thirty in the damn morning. Finish your breakfast.”

“Aye aye, cap–”

“We could do something less sweaty if you want. Next time.”

Sirius grins. “Oh, you can’t get enough of me, can you?”

Remus makes a show of moving out of his chair. “I will go home without you.”

Sirius reaches out for Remus’ hand and holds it. “Don’t. You’re the best part of my morning.”

Remus’ eyes soften. “You are, as well. Always.” He winks playfully. “Don’t tell anyone, though.”

Sirius mimics sewing his mouth shut. This is the best morning Sirius has had in a while.

#There is a no angst rule courtesy of the month of loveeee #I am a healer!Sirius truther to my core #Oh to spend all of my mornings with you <3 #workout mention #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #wolfstar drabble #wolfstar microfic #older wolfstar #my writing

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verystrxxwberry · 1 day ago

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ELDARYA; the routes’ morning routines!

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: These headcanons do not include the routes x partner! Individual headcanons, sfw, domestic things ig? not a request ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: I must say that I have no idea what kind of alarm they might use to wake up, I believe none, but since I don’t remember if it is mentioned and imagination is wild, the typical clocks will be used as alarm clocks as well. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

EZAREL

Very dramatic during the process of waking up. The moment the clock starts doing its usual ringing, he will cry out and whine a lot until he decides to reluctantly stand up and turn off the clock in a moody way. Then he quickly goes to bed and snuggles in the warmth of his spot, whining about how he hates to work and how he’d love to keep sleeping. And even if he’s an elf and doesn’t really need to sleep, sleeping gives him 50% strength for the day. The other 50% will be during breakfast.

He wakes up at 06:00 AM, since the life in the guard requires time. Yet he always stays up, under the covers, until the clock marks it is 06:15.

06:15 AM. He calmly changes to his normal clothes, looking at some random spot of the room with his mind in blank. To wear all the shit he constantly wears over, he needs time, and patience. Ezarel doesn’t like morning showers, he prefers noon showers right after his switch is done, so he makes sure to do a dry cleaning in the morning so he can still smell good.

06:30 AM. He enters the bathroom to do his needs, wash his face and brush his teeth. He always stares at the nowhere during the morning, preferring to keep his mind resting until it is the time to use it. He doesn’t want to effortlessly tire himself by thinking of other stuff when work will tire him enough.

06:35 AM. Ezarel starts combing his hair to do his typical lazy ponytail and then goes back to his bedroom.

06:37 AM. He sits on the bed and waits until it’s 40 so he can get motivation to keep going.

06:40 AM. Alright, now he stands up and checks that he has gotten everything on himself to go to work. He then leaves towards the pantry. That is ALWAYS his first spot to fill his stomach because he cannot work without sugar early in the morning, he needs a motivation to do his job and that is… honey.

Ah, right, he NEVER makes his bed. Like, never. Unless he is doing a deep room cleaning, and he changes the sheets, but from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep, his covers are still opened, offering him a nice spot to lie down. Why? Simply: He will undo the bed at night, when he goes to sleep again. So why would he do that effort?

From 06:50–07:10 AM he is having the best breakfast ever (in his opinion).

At 07:15 AM he is entering the Alchemy lab and checking the to-do list for the day. Then he starts working.

Until 09:45 AM he is deeply focused on his work. Not even if there’s less work than other times, he finds the way to make himself busy with science. There are always things to do and investigate, and he enjoys it.

At 10:00 AM he takes a break to go to the pantry and have his second breakfast. It is very needed. He takes advantage of that hour to talk and play around with others, and after 10 minutes of break, he goes back to work. There are busier days in which he has to eat as he works since he is too busy, but whenever he is allowed to escape the lab, he does.

Then he goes back to work until 1 PM.

During free days he doesn’t set any alarm. Hah, to be that crazy. He sleeps until his body can’t sleep more and normally wakes up at 10:30/11:00 AM. Then he calmly does the morning routine but without going to work! Simply chilling around.

NEVRA

When he was leader of the shadow guard, he wasn’t in a rush to wake up in labor days as his job is usually during the night, yet he had responsibilities, and he liked to keep his day free from worries. But now that he isn’t, he forces himself to get used to have a morning productivity focus, since the light guard requires full day attention. His routine over the years hasn't changed too much though, always taking care of himself to the maximum.

He naturally wakes up earlier than the clock alarm sounds, and from there, he starts his day.

His alarm is set at 06:00 AM, yet he normally wakes up 10 minutes earlier. And from there, he goes straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take an awakening morning shower. During the shower he makes sure to follow his strict hair and skincare routine, not allowing any of it to be in any bad state. That’s unacceptable.

06:28 AM. He comes out from the shower and dries himself completely. He gets dressed and adds the skincare products on his skin. It gives him so much satisfaction to feel his skin soft, he even admires how it shines from the products. He combs his hair and dries it.

06:35 AM. He is ready. Yet he stares at himself in the mirror and frowns. Then starts fighting with his hair to make it stay in place, giving up at some point when it is good enough, or he is frustrated already.

06:45 AM. He puts his favorite perfume on the best spots of his clothes and skin, also a little bit on his hair. He wants to make his scent as enjoyable as possible for everyone, even himself.

06:48 AM. He makes his bed and organizes his clothes a little to make the environment of his bedroom clean and visually satisfying.

06:55 AM. He leaves and goes directly to take a walk through the headquarters to find something to work on. Since he is a vampire, he doesn’t get hungry that much. He can enjoy meals, but he won’t get as much energy from them than blood. So I believe that there could be some blood bags in the pantry, hidden for Karenn and Nevra to take when they need some energy. But Nevra doesn’t usually need it during the morning.

07:15 - 08:40 AM. He finds himself filling some papers as he enjoys the quietness of the library, feeling pretty satisfied from the paperwork he can easily get rid off, yet the silence gets LOUD at some point and that makes him very nervous. Sitting down for hours makes him innerly energetic, so he starts planning what his training would look that day.

08:50 AM. Goes to the Pantry and takes a small blood shot for energy.

09:00-10:45 AM. He works out with other guard members. And time passes quickly with this as he has fun. Yet he finds himself sweaty after it and then goes back to his bathroom to take a quick shower, and then goes to the pantry to take a break!

11:06 AM. He is in the Pantry, cheerfully talking with his little sister and Chrome, as he drinks a blood bag to recover the energy he wasted on the work-out.

11:10 AM. Time to get back to work. And he goes to ask Huang Hua what will his tasks be during the day so he can start getting into them.

VALKYON

Sleeps like a rock, but he wakes up immediately when the alarm sounds. He gets slightly frustrated when the dream was so good and it got interrupted. He isn’t a morning person and leaving the bed is a heavy step for him, yet he is responsible for a guard and must do… what a leader must do. He has a tendency to go late to bed, but he quickly falls asleep and recovers his energy quickly.

His routine is all pretty much the same unless he is out on a mission.

06:15 AM. He goes to the bathroom and does his needs, brushes his teeth and washes his face with cold water so he can fully wake up. Then changes into comfy clothes to work out with and goes for a run.

06:30 - 07:15 AM. He is running outside the city of Eel, taking this time as a chance to release the sleepiness out of his body and start to feel energetic. Quite contradictory to be energetic when you’re tiring yourself, but doing exercise actually gives mental energy.

07:20 AM. He is back and goes to take a quick body shower. The full shower will be done at night, when he is done with sweating all he has to sweat from his job. His job requires constant physical strength, and he is too used to this that he barely sweats from doing some effort, but when he reaches his limits, he starts getting sweaty. And he likes to push his limits.

07:35 AM. He is done with the shower. He dresses up and tidies up his bedroom a little… (fixes his bed as good as he can and leaves)

07:40 AM. He has a good, filling breakfast that keeps him full for hours and also gives him vitamins and other positive chemicals to his body.

08:00–11:00 AM. He is training the members of his guard, being the good leader he is and teaching them all the good techniques, new strategies to surprise an enemy, new defense positions, new attacks from the side, with weapons, with random objects… They must be prepared for everything.

11:15 AM. He goes back to the forge and spends some hours working on sharpening weapons and creating new ones.

On free days he sleeps like a rock until his body has had enough. Yet he is a dragon and normally dragons can sleep for months or years… but not in his case! It’s ok! He has gotten used to sleep ‘normal’ hours (he’d wake up at 5 PM). Yet he spends those hours in a very productive way.

LEIFTAN

He needs to sleep his 8–10 hours so he can be fully energetic and ready to stand the next day. 07 hours and 40 minutes of sleep? Sorry, his body is noticing that. 06 hours and 58 minutes of sleep? Terrible! That’s unhealthy. He rather sleeps 09 hours and 40 minutes than less!

He normally showers before going to bed, so he relaxes after all the day he had and goes to bed clean, ready face the best sleep he has ever had (aka every chance he has to sleep and rest because he enjoys it just as everyone does).

07:00 AM. He wakes up the moment the alarm clock sounds, stirring his arms and letting out the most melodic, sweet, sleepy hum. He stands up and opens the window immediately, letting fresh air get into his bedroom, the sunlight making him smile from its warmth. Leiftan is quite the type to try and romanticize his mornings to have any slight urge to stay alive at those hours. He takes a few deep breaths as a way to start the day with as less anxiety as possible.

07:08 AM. He starts organizing his bedroom, fixing his bed and making it look as if the best cleaning service went through it.

07:15 AM. He enters the bathroom, brushes his teeth and washes his face for a minute. Then, he changes his clothes and gets busy with braiding his hair.

07:30 AM. Puts on his sweet perfume and goes towards the pantry to have breakfast and mentally organize his day. He is usually well aware of the things he has to do during the day, yet being a guard on Eldarya meant that there would be an unexpected quest at the most inconvenient moment. And he tries to be open for those situations to happen. It is his job after all!

09:00 AM. He is bored since he has been rushing some problems before, so his spot of preference is always the library! He has read a few books during his switch and free days, knowing if there’s any newness around and knowing if there is a missing book (he always checks the list of provided books in case there is any book-thief in the city).

10:30 AM. He is taking a walk through the gardens, having kind conversations with the kids and getting a nice sunbath. He normally goes through the garden to clear his mind.

11:00 AM. He is in a meeting. He is a very responsible man!

On free days, he normally spends his mornings going for walks with himself or Lance, on the library reading or in his bedroom simply exploring new hobbies.

LANCE

He is a light sleeper, and even the smallest fly resting on his cheek could wake him up. He has never liked a routine and has always liked to improvise his day as it gets going yet being a leader of a guard now forces him to invest more effort into his routine, no matter how much he hates it or tries to stick to it. Now, his routine doesn’t change much from Valkyon’s as he is basically doing the same job.

During his free days he will do whatever he wants whenever he wants, no routines involved, or he won’t be able to rest.

06:00 AM. He groans when he hears the alarm, quite frustrated for not being able to sleep some more. He spends a few minutes staring at the ceiling and overthinking about his whole life, needing some inner courage to exit the bed. And he won’t fix his bed btw, he simply forgets about it.

06:08 AM. Exits the bed and goes to the bathroom to do his needs, brushes his teeth, zones out and sighs… damn how sleepy he is. He starts thinking about the coffee he will drink in a few minutes. He washes his face and goes back to his bedroom.

06:16 AM. Changes his clothes and ties his hair as he can, making sure it won’t bother when he goes to train the members of his guard.

06:25 AM. Goes to the pantry and drinks the darkest coffee he can. He needs to wake up completely. I believe he is more of a picky eater than his brother, so he won’t have a breakfast filled with so many vitamins and energy in general. He’d drink an orange juice and that’s it. He likes to see how the other creatures also start they routines for work at those hours.

06:47 AM. Goes back to his bedroom to do the last needs, brush his teeth and then goes straight to the garden so he can stretch his body. He won’t have any training yet, but stretching helps him to feel more awake.

07:20 AM. Checks if Mathieu fell asleep or achieved to wake up that morning.

07:24 AM. He starts working in some paperwork there is to be filled or organized.

08:00-11:00 AM. The training starts! And just as his brother used to do, he does the same, making sure everyone knows the perfect movements to win a fight and unexpected attacks.

11:06 AM. Goes to Huang Hua and asks what could he help with to get himself busy. Sometimes, he works on the forge, but he prefers it at noon so he can shower straight after it and go to sleep.

MATHIEU

Sets too many alarms and only his survival instinct wakes him up. When he was in earth, he settled the most disturbing sounds as an alarm, and he still needed his time to wake up. Sometimes he woke up and didn’t turn it off because he was too sleepy to move.

06:00 AM. Skipped.

06:10 AM. Skipped.

06:15 AM. Skipped.

06:20 AM. Skipped.

06:25 AM. He wakes up, yet his eyes are still closed and he is practically dozing off once again.

06… 06…. Wait… why isn’t the alarm sounding again? It is taking too much time. Is he probably… late!? Then his body fills with adrenaline and wakes up with almost a heart attack, checking the hour quickly as he sat up. It was 06:28 AM. And he is considering whatever to cry, whine against the pillow or accept that he is an adult and get going.

06:34 AM. After zoning out as he wonders what to do, he is already walking lazily towards the bathroom. He simply does his needs, washes his hands and gets on his clothes for the day. He quickly brushes his hair with his hand and that’s enough (that’s why his hair is messy most of the time).

06:42 AM. Time for breakfast! He is like a little kid who gets excited to have a bowl with milk and cereals for breakfast.

06:55 AM. He is done with breakfast and starts talking to Lance or any other creature he finds around to start activating his barely-working neuron this early in the morning.

07:10 AM. He goes back to his room, brushes his teeth and goes straight to ask Huang Chu what he should do during that day. He is like an obedient puppy and will immediately start working with whatever he got ordered with. Of course, he will whine about any difficult task he doesn’t feel like… but work is work.

07:30–11:00 AM. He simply spends the whole morning working actually! He wants to give a good view of himself and show how determined he is to place effort in a world he doesn’t belong to. Mathieu takes small breaks to hydrate himself and go to bathroom, but he is mainly focused in walking around and solving creatures’ issues! Whatever comes out, he is more than willing to solve it.

On free days… forget about him waking up from free will. He adores his bed, and adores the warmth of the covers, how the pillow adapts to the shape of his head and how cozy all of it is! Getting out from bed is like a torture for him, and avoiding it is just like a reward for him. Mathieu loves to rest as much as he can on free days.

✰; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it!

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squuote · 5 months ago

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autumn weather save mee. autumn weather.. save me autumn weatherr

#crow thoughts #it’s so so nice on this early morning and I don’t want to go into work!!!#truly a waste of a perfectly chilled morning weeps #I know it’s not autumn yet but. it’s here. it’s here in the air.#AND IM WASTING IT AT WORK !!!

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cetoddle-archive · 1 year ago

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idk idk i don’t think i can do this

#maybe i’m just over tired and stressed #but i don’t think i can do this #i can’t do mornings i just can’t #i was built for night time i genuinely cannot do mornings #idk what to do #the ppl here are nice and the work seems interested #*interesting #but i just. i can’t do mornings idk what to do #im missing my old job. there were a lot of things i hated about that job #but at least i didn’t have to get up early and i was left alone most of the night and could listen to a podcast or whatever and my boss was #so nice and accommodating #irs so hard to find a job with evening hours at all let alone one that pays a decent amount #idk idk idk #im hiding in the bathroom just cause i’ve been spending all morning trying not to cry #i hate being awake in the morning i seriously can’t do it #and i’m stressed and i just want to kill myself #im not a morning person i hate working i really seriously don’t know if i can do this #what should i do…i can’t spend every day on the verge of tears #and then go hide in the bathroom to cry #what do i do i don’t know what to do #im tired. and i wanna go home #i don’t know if i can do this what should i do..#snow.txt

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chika-nyan · 2 years ago

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Lies down. So it looks like my job is actively trying to moorder me so I’ll probably be mostly ded for a while. Honestly at a breaking point, can you believe vacation was just last month? :) Gonna keep doing my best to hold on for that mid-late spring exit/quitting time with next vacation but it’s going to be a trial forsure.

#I can’t quit now I’m 3/4 of the way to next vacay hour gifting u_u #I’ve come this far I at least need to nab that paid vacation…….#Done being nice work just takes advantage of any kindness I can muster #Please stop trying to call me in on my off days I need those to heal my shoulder 8’D #I came in anyway even when they called at 4am on a day I did not work when I would reasonably be SLEEPING but no not anymore u_u #I am done you will get no more extra hours from me #I don’t want to work more I’m hurting give those hours to coworkers u_u #The hours the company is being so stingy with :)#To the point that a petition is going around saying booooo you suck at staffing git gud binch!!!#Which I did sign because it is true git gud 8U)b #like even some customers have gone ‘you’re all by yourself????’ to me 8’D #I’m just saying ONE more person in the morning would help so much 8’D #Especially since we get tour busses on their way to the mountain starting as early as 7am until 10am!!!#There’s more bs but truly I am just so tired and upset but I hope I can make it to spring #Gonna take off Easter and also go to Sakuracon on the last vacay!#*lies down* But yes will try to give thumbs up out of the dirt mound atop me but will be mainly dead u_u #Sorry this was a long one big thanks if you read through u_u #*blows homie kisses at dorito buddos* Love you (bromo) don’t forget meeeeeee

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insanechayne · 2 months ago

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~ ~ ~

#facing things alone again just as I always seem to be lately #I just want someone to care enough about me to let me have a moment of weakness in safety and peace #it’s not like I didn’t tell partner and bestie what today’s 15 year anniversary is and why it hurts me so much #but I don’t have anyone to talk to right now while I’m suffering through this wave of emotions and bullshit #and yeah part of me is thinking logically and reminding myself that it’s really early in the morning and they’re sleeping #but bestie hasn’t talked to me since Wednesday and just leaves all my messages read and ignored #and partner had been awake until at least 5am and said they couldn’t sleep at all and I even told them I’d need to have my breakdown time #once I got back home from work because I could feel the sadness kicking in. they read that message and then by the time I got back they’d #fallen asleep. like you couldn’t stay awake another hour or two? you couldn’t have waited for me? after I told you I needed help? of course #they need rest and I want them to be able to sleep but come on that just feels like shitty pointed timing #and they half wake up when I come in the bedroom and my voice is choked with tears and they just say stuff like ‘you’re so loved’ and #‘I love you so much’ and those are nice things to hear but they don’t help right now #especially because the whole reason I’m feeling shitty is because this is the day someone who supposedly loved me walked out of my life #so saying they love me isn’t really helpful because I don’t feel loveable or anything right now and just feel like I’m going to eventually #be abandoned again #well now I’ve cried for about an hour and a half and at least the tears are drying up finally #but I still feel really depressed and shitty and I just want good distractions with these people I care most about #even though it doesn’t feel like they really care for me in all the same ways #idk I’ve only got two people in my life so it feels even more lonely when I can’t talk to them during times I actually need to #personal

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crushpunky · 2 months ago

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drew and actress!reader do the “we listen and we don’t judge” challenge

masterlist | actress!reader masterlist

cute lil suggestion <3

Y/n set her phone up with a smile on her lips, Drew sitting next to her at their kitchen island, his hair messy as he took a sip of coffee. The two of them had finally gotten out of bed after an hour of cuddling in the early morning light of their bedroom, chatting and showing each other videos the other thought they’d like. After making the two of them coffee, y/n decided it would be fun to make a little video of their own.

“Ok, let’s go.” Y/n grinned, pressing record and sitting back on her stool.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” The two of them said, Drew looking at y/n with a quirk of his brow as he anticipated y/n’s answer.

“The real reason I got a black eye last summer was because I ran into the wall when I was on my phone, not because I fell while shooting.” Y/n bit her lip. Drew already knew that, having witnessed the incident, but the two of them had agreed to keep up the lie to spare the embarrassment and teasing from the rest of the cast.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” The two of them said.

“Sometimes I pretend to be asleep just so I can listen to you talk to yourself in the morning.” Drew smirked. Y/n had a habit of talking to herself in preparation for the day, sometimes even singing a bit as she got around. It was a habit Drew found endearing, but he knew if she knew he was awake she would stop… so he pretended to be asleep.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” They said.

“When we first moved in together I was nervous to… poop in our bathroom and would walk to Madelyn’s apartment every time I had to go to the bathroom.” Y/n giggled. Drew’s cheeks flushed, trying his best not to spit out his coffee.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” The two of them said.

“When we first moved in together I was nervous to poop in our bathroom and would walk to Austin’s apartment every time I had to go to the bathroom.” Drew said. Y/n’s jaw dropped, the two of them laughing at their common secret.

“So nobody pooped in our bathroom for the first few months we lived together?” Y/n asked with a giggle.

“I had a crush on you! I didn’t want you to think I was gross.” Drew blushed, swirling his coffee aimlessly. Y/n pouted playfully before pressing a kiss to Drew’s cheek.

“Ok, ok. Back to business.” Y/n said.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” They said.

“I have a folder of edits of you on my Tik Tok I watch when I miss you.” Y/n laughed, covering her face as Drew tried to hold back his giggles.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” The two of them said.

“One time when I was really drunk I accidentally used like all of your really nice shampoo and blamed it on my sister when she was visiting.” Drew smirked, biting his lip. “I had a buzzcut at the time too, so I don’t know what inspired me to do that.”

“I knew it wasn’t her!” Y/n gasped.

“We don’t judge! We don’t judge!” Drew said, raising his hands in surrender.

“Yes, yes, sorry.” Y/n smiled.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” They said.

“The first time you made me Mama Jodi’s casserole I think you messed something up because I got really bad food poisoning, but I didn’t want to tell you because you were so excited.” Y/n said quickly. Drew’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping at her confession.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” They said together.

“I asked my mom for her ring after only four months of us dating.” Drew said, a blush spreading across his cheeks. She had known the ring he had proposed to her with was his mothers, updated by Drew to match y/n’s own taste, and she knew he had been holding onto it for a while, but she didn’t realize just how long.

“Are you serious?” Y/n raised her brows in surprise, her stomach fluttering.

“I knew you were it for me.” Drew said with a simple shrug. Y/n felt her cheeks grow warm as she flung her arms around Drew’s broad shoulders, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you and your big, romantic heart, Starkey.” Y/n grinned up at him, her arms still resting on his shoulders. Drew smiled back at her, his eyes scanning over her face with a smile on his lips.

“I love you… even if you have a folder of saved Tik Toks of me—” Drew giggled.

“We don’t judge!” Y/n laughed.

“We don’t judge.” Drew grinned, pressing a quick kiss to y/n’s nose before ending the video.

#drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey x actress!reader #actress!reader

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nereidprinc3ss · 6 months ago

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hourglass

in which spencer disappears from fem!reader's life entirely for three months, right as it seems they were finally about to make things official. when he comes back they reunite, all the while knowing things can't be the same as they were.

18+ (smut, angst) warnings/tags: oh god so many. NOT canon compliant in the slightest, i make shit up, softdom!spence, nipple stuff prob, fingering, oral f receiving, piv sex, unprotected sex, pet names, tara mentioned, depression, mentions of trauma cause its the prison arc duh, passing mentions of alcohol, mentions of spencer losing weight, reader mistakenly thinks spencer tried to kill himself BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND, where is diana reid, nobody knows or cares, probably filming glee, optimistic ending a/n: haven't posted smut in forever but this wip required it and the angst was so angsty i just had to finish it. it was started in jan or feb and subsequently added to and changed months apart and then edited so the writing quality varies from section to section which i apologize for. originally based on good guy by julia jacklin... also the odyssey by homer? can't really explain that one you'll just have to see for yourself anyway byeeee ilysm!!! PLS tell me if you liked it! or if you hated it! but preferably if you liked it! MWAH! wc <12k

It’s been about three months since you last saw Spencer Reid.

About three months since you had an early Valentine’s Day celebration (even though you weren’t a couple) complete with champagne (even though he doesn’t usually drink) and slow dancing (even though you swore you’d be terrible and he spent the first ten minutes laughing at you as you stepped on his toes.)

About three months since you finally settled your head on his shoulder and let the warbling vinyl carry you somewhere distant as the two of you danced slow circles on the parquet floor for what felt like hours.

You’d have liked him to stay later that night. You’d have liked him to stay all night if you were being honest with yourself, but at 11:45 he gently pulled away and told you he had to go.

“Curfew?” you joked, the corner of your mouth lifting a little and you hoped you were hiding your disappointment well.

“Actually, I’m going down to Texas for a few days to speak with one of the leading doctors in experimental Alzheimer's and dementia treatment. I’m going to see if he can get my mom into a clinical trial. I leave early tomorrow morning.”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing, Spencer! What are you doing still here? You should be at home getting ready to go!”

A rosy blush stains his cheeks and he looks down at the ground, laughing that little self-deprecating laugh of his. It makes your heart dance to see him so happy, makes you want to wrap your arms around him and never let him go so that he knows how much you absolutely adore him—but you settle for an affectionate squeeze where your hands have come to rest on his biceps.

“I wanted to see you tonight because I won’t be here for Valentine’s Day... but I still really wanted to spend it with you,” he admits meekly.

If before your heart was dancing, it is now melting.

The dreaded ‘what are we’ talk has been lurking in the dark corners of every conversation you have with each other lately—at least, in your mind it has. What you have with Spencer is not easily defined, and near impossible to explain to your friends—you act like a couple, you go out on dates, he introduces you to his team like you’re his girlfriend without ever putting it into so many words—but this validation that your pseudo-relationship might be evolving is better than any flowers he could have gotten you (although the peonies he brought will look very nice on your bedside table.)

“Four whole days... what will I do without you?” you whisper, brushing a hand along his face, and your chest aches with the heavy truth of it—despite the fact that he often is gone for stretches about that length. They don’t ever start to feel shorter.

“Well, you can start by reading that copy of The Odyssey I annotated for you.”

“Depressing,” you admit. “And a little ominous, considering you’re about to embark on a hero’s journey.”

“I think you’ll like this one,” he smiles.

You chew on your bottom lip, looking up at him as you think.

“Give me something to look forward to,” you say, earnestly.

“I—well, honestly, I just really want to kiss you and I’ve wanted to for a long time now and, you know, if that’s something you’re maybe also interested in then we could, uh, figure out a time to—”

“You want to kiss me?”

“Wh—you couldn’t tell?” Spencer says, like he can’t believe it.

As if on reflex, you lunge up and capture his lips with your own. It obviously catches him by surprise, but when you lower from your tiptoes he follows you, pulling you in closer and holding your face in his hands.

It’s too natural, too right, to be exhilarating. There’s no rush of adrenaline—it's more like stepping into a hot bath or warming your freezing hands at a fire. Like pieces clicking into place. It’s a relief.

You breathe into it, letting more and more of yourself melt against him. He keeps coming back to you deeper and deeper like a rising tide, and you want more than anything to keep getting closer to him—but then he stops. He stays close enough for you to breathe his air, but dodges your kiss gently before supplanting it with a gentle one to the corner of your mouth.

“I really have to go,” he breathes, before moving away from your mouth to kiss your forehead and speak softly against your skin. “If I don’t leave now I’ll be here all night.”

Which is exactly what you want, and the implication does little to make you want him less. But you care about him too much to be so selfish.

At some point, his hands found their way into your hair, and you gently grab his wrists.

“Incentive for you to come home.”

Nearly three months since that night.

At first when he stopped answering texts, you’d assumed he just had too much going on down in Texas. Which you could understand—you knew how stressful this situation with his mother was.

Even when four days came and went without even an alert from him that he was back in town, you thought, okay, maybe he’s been called away on a case. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s disappeared because of his work. But even then, he’d at least text you enough information so that you would know he was alive. Now, radio silence.

So you tried not to be clingy. You tried to act like an adult, to focus on school and your life outside of Spencer, but when Tara Lewis cancelled your weekly meeting due to an “unforeseen work-related emergency”you called her immediately. Tara was something of a mentor, and it was she who had connected you and Spencer to begin with. You had met the other members of his team by that point, yes, but none who you knew as well as Tara.

When she had informed you that Spencer had been arrested in Mexico and was now facing prison time for murder, you laughed.

Laughed until you realized her end of the line was silent.

Realized it was not at all a joke.

In a catatonic state of tranquility, you asked her for more details. Beyond assuring you of his innocence, she couldn’t (or more likely, wouldn’t) provide them. Asked where he was now. Asked all the right things that made sense to ask.

Then you hung up and had a panic attack because Tara said something about 25 years and you saw Spencer evaporate from your future like an apparition.

Slowly, you felt him evaporating from your past, too. Those memories from the night he left, became visions of you swaying with a ghost. Holding nothing but light between your hands as you kissed the peony air of your apartment.

He doesn’t want to see you, she had said into the phone one night, her tinny voice cutting in and out. You’re not on his list of approved visitors.

“You asked him about me?” you had whispered, curled up on top of your made bed in the dark.

I tried. I’m sorry. I’ll call you when I know more.

All your days melded together like a muddied smear of paint. Suddenly you felt you had nothing to look forward to. No anchor, no goal. Yes, a PhD... and then what?

The only thing that punctuated one 24 hour period from the next was the time you spent crying because Spencer was in prison and he didn’t want to see you and by the looks of things you may never see him again. When you weren’t crying, you were thinking about how your life was a big cosmic joke. An unfortunate statistical anomaly that didn’t mean anything to anyone else, and that you couldn’t do anything about.

That copy of The Odyssey, which wasn’t even bound and instead was a thick stack of printer paper organized by a single black clip, became something of a manifesto for you—a tome that your poured over, reading and re-reading each note in the margins, each word beautiful and imbued with meaning because you knew Spencer had selected every single one specifically for you. You traced the letters reverently, because in a way this was the last thing he had said to you—about Lattimore’s faith to the original text, Merrill’s strict use of dactylic hexameter, the stylings of Wilson and Lombardo, and how he thought you would enjoy Hammond’s prose just as much as he did.

Day by day it was becoming more prophetic than fictional, and you allowed yourself to sink into madness. You would rather be a deluded zealot than be nothing at all.

He didn’t want to see you.

He might as well have been dead, for all that you were grieving him. And you started to hate him, because he wasn’t dead, but wouldn’t do you the kindness of proving it. Like a festering wound, scratched open day after day so as not to ever heal, you had to live knowing he was less than an hour away. So no, you weren’t exactly over it. You lived day by day, waiting for the occasional call from Tara to keep you updated on Spencer, but either she didn’t want to share much about how he was doing, or he had specifically barred her from doing so, because she was always sparse on the personal side of things. That thought actually lifted your spirits, because it meant he was at least acknowledging your existence in some tiny way.

But your routine was becoming more regular, and so you staid on top of your classes and your non-Reid related meetings with Tara once a week, and you learned to dip your toes into existential dread and the oily black pool of depression every night without ever fully submerging yourself. You learned hope, because it was pretty much all you had, and the BAU had confidence that they would get Spencer out one way or another so you did too.

So you didn’t really think about it when you missed a couple of calls from Tara some evening in May. You were preparing for finals and had way too much on your plate academically to think about anything else which was a welcome relief so you fully embraced it. I’ll call her back tomorrow, you think, as you clean up from dinner before going back to the living room where your textbooks and papers are completely covering every available surface. Maybe I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life after school, but I’ll be damned if I don’t even make it that far.

Hours later, well into the night, you’d all but forgotten about the calls. A knock at the door takes you a bit by surprise, and you frown as you stand again, tugging your Georgetown sweatshirt down over your shorts as you shuffle to the entrance of your apartment. You’re not expecting anyone, so you crack the door, peering around the edge of it.

And you couldn’t even consider trying to hide that shaky inhalation of dead air when you see Spencer standing on the other side.

Surely you’re hallucinating.

Surely this man in front of you who looks like he just got back from a day of work didn’t spend three months in prison pretending you didn’t exist.

He looks the same. Hair a bit longer, maybe—and gaunter even more than is normal for him.

But it's him.

You can’t think about the apprehensive look on his face—you can’t think about the impossibility of him being here. You can’t think at all. Without your explicit permission, your body surges forward into his, and he’s real, and alive, and warm, and he is an anachronism in the hallway as he accepts everything you pour into the embrace, doesn’t flinch when you move your arms from around his waist to loop around his neck and back to his waist again with crushing force because you just can’t get him close enough.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer mutters into your hair, I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry, he keeps saying, rubbing your back as you try to find a solid grip on the sleek material of his suit—try to gather all the pieces of him, already afraid he might fall apart and float away again.

“You—dis—disappeared,” you hiccup after an eternity, pulling away enough to look up at his pretty face. Tears blur your vision and darken the front of his jacket, bending the florescent lights so they form a kind of halo above his head.

Through the surreal haze you can see his throat bob.

“I know.”

He knows?

You scoff.

“You have no fucking idea, Spencer. What the fuck is wrong with you? I—I'm—”

The hot anger is such a relief for a second, boiling the oceans of your despair into a wrathful, scorching fog, but as soon as you try to tell him how you feel, the barbed wire cuts into your throat again. You shove him away, skin burning where his hands had been.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks, hands hanging uselessly at his side. There’s that kicked puppy look about him—and it’s familiar, but now there’s more damage. You don’t know anything about his time in prison, you haven’t heard a damn thing, but beneath the glassy desperation in his eyes there is an unfathomable void that seems to be preventing him from being fully present—and you realize for the first time that he is different.

It chills you.

Before, you and Spencer shared everything. There wasn’t one part of his internal machinations that you didn’t understand, nothing you kept from each other. But as you study him now from a few feet away, you realize there might as well be a yawning chasm between the two of you.

He is so different.

Those eyes look deeper. No gears turning just behind the slashes of gold and brown anymore—only an endless dark corridor that goes places you will never go.

Gone is the perpetual boyish up-turn at the corner of his lips that always made him look slightly vacant in a way that you found incredibly amusing. Something you had been so fond of, even if you teased him.

He seems to have aged ten years—if not physically, then in demeanor. And now you feel like a little kid throwing a tantrum.

You cross your arms, suddenly unable to meet his eyes.

You’re embarrassed. And pissed. And relieved. Everything is worse and better. You want to fall back into his arms, but you have been jarred by the revelation that this might not be the same Spencer. It might not be the same relationship. You have no idea where you stand.

He says your name gently, with so much familiarity you’re briefly jerked into the past. It makes you wish you could look up to find him as he was three months ago. Wish this was just a bad dream. But that’s not fair to him.

“Sorry,” you mutter, studying the grey carpet fibers instead of looking at him.

“Don’t apologize,” Spencer says immediately, “you’re right. I don’t—” he clears his throat— “I’m being incredibly selfish. I shouldn’t have just shown up, I’ll just—I'll leave. I’m sorry.”

A silent moment passes.

You don’t look up as he turns and swiftly begins to move down the hall toward the stairway, leaving as quickly and silently as he had come, like a few bars of a song sighed in and away on a fleeting breeze.

Your bare feet are concretely planted, imagining him jogging down the steps and speed-walking away from your building—

And suddenly you’re sprinting after him, feeling like you might puke because Spencer was just here and you let him go again—and even though you’re still so mad and confused and hurt, the realization that he is leaving again makes the entire building spin and lurch.

“Wait!” You yell, almost wiping out as you run down the stairs and whip around corners in your slippery fucking socks. “Please, wait!”

The lobby is already empty as you spill out into it, and cold dread tightens around your neck like a fist as you shoulder your way through the double doors and right into Spencer.

“Please don’t leave again, you just—I'm sorry, I really need you to not go—” you blabber, lachrymose once more, gripping onto his forearms for dear life.

“I’m not going,” he breathes shakily. “I tried to leave because I think you were right and maybe I should and maybe it would be better for you but I can’t.”

“You can’t,” you agree, more sob than spoken word. He cups your jaw, then your cheeks, wiping tears and brushing away hair like he can’t figure out how to hold enough of you between his hands. The wild kaleidoscope of his eyes, bright and alive and real as he scans you desperately captures your attention enough to slow the tears to a trickle. He notices this and stares back, entranced.

A silent agreement is made, or maybe an inevitable fate is accepted—either way, something was set in motion three months ago and it matters to see it through. Spencer kisses you and you’re ready for it. You don’t need slow or tender. You need to feel how he feels. You need to know what he knows.

You sling your arms around his neck and he pulls you closer until you almost tip backward, chasing the bruising kiss even as you regain your footing. You want to drink him in and you do your best, breathing deeply as he kisses you deeper, backing you inside and toward the elevator.

“Is this okay?” he manages, only after blindly reaching for and mashing the up button on the wall panel.

Ideally it wouldn’t happen like this, but the world you live in obviously isn’t ideal and your personal situations as they coincide are far from ideal, so this is how it has to happen. But it’s hard to explain, and you’d rather not admit that this is so far from what you wanted for both of you and follow up with the fact that despite that you need him like you need water. So you don’t say a word as the metal doors slide open promptly. Instead you pull him in and let him press you to the chrome wall as he hits your floor button, and that very hand comes back to grab your ass like you didn’t think Spencer Reid capable of. It almost aches as his fingers dig into the flesh, but it’s a good ache because it means he’s real and he’s there.

You gasp as he hitches your leg up, arching into him. The shorts that you’re wearing leave very little to the imagination to begin with, but they become downright indecent like this.

Quickly the elevator stops and the doors hiss open. You don’t hesitate to pull Spencer by the hand down the hall. When you notice you left your door wide open, you don’t even care. Neither does he, apparently—once you’re inside he slams it shut, flipping the deadbolt while his eyes are glued to you like you’re already naked. Now Spencer is shameless in the way he drags his eyes over every curve, every place your clothes and hair are disheveled from his touch and eye-fucks you so obviously it makes your face warm. Three months ago Spencer would have at least been bashful about it when he met your eyes again, but this Spencer is far from apologetic as he pins you with his burning gaze once more. His hand stays stuck to the door like he’s holding himself back.

“Is this what you want?”

There’s an undercurrent of sorrow below the gravely arousal, like this isn’t what he wanted for the two of you either. But you’re both at the mercy of fate. This is all you have, and it might be all you can do for each other anymore. So you don’t need to say that, because he understands.

“Yeah. Yes, this is what I want.”

For just a second more he watches you from his place by the door, and there’s an unexpected softness to it. He looks at you the way he would have looked at you before. Like as long as he stays there he can entertain the idea of being that person again.

Need wins out quickly, though, and he surges forward. Immediately you’re caught in the riptide of him, helpless as he kisses you all the way to your bedroom.

He’s never been in here before. You find yourself glad it’s relatively clean—one of the pastimes you’d picked up in his absence was keeping everything tidy. It was something you could control.

A lamp glows at your bedside. You lean against the footboard of your bed, hands timidly behind your back and suddenly shy to have in him in your intimate space. Both of you set aside the heaving desperation long enough to catch your breaths, and for him to scan the room like he too is being forced to reconcile with the innate and unexpected intimacy of the moment. He cuts a harsh, dark gash in your sweetly decorated bedroom, radiating something wild and powerful and unsure of himself like a chained bull as he takes in the soft, pale bedding, the paintings and photos taped to the walls, the woven rug and the sheer drapery. His breathing slows as he studies it all—eyes eventually catching on something behind you. Looking is unnecessary. You’re sure he’s spotted the dried peonies in their ceramic vase. Or maybe the now worn stack of papers that is his Odyssey, marked up and soft around the edges from constant flipping-through.

Then Spencer looks at you, and that softness seeps in again. Along with something like... fear? Grief?

In some other universe your first time with Spencer is sweet and giggly and kind and he smiles at the decor in your room and looks around with wonder because it’s another way he gets to know you. It’s a different way to learn you from the inside.

You sense that he’s caught in between universes right now as well, painfully aware of what he would have given you that he can’t anymore.

He breathes your name like an apology, and foolishly you let a second go by in which you think he might offer you one. But he doesn’t. Not with his words, anyway. His eyes tell a different story.

“It’s fine,” you say unprompted on a whispered exhale, then a little louder as you push off the footboard, crossing the space until your hands are on his chest. You focus on his tie, not making eye contact as you rush to undo it. “It’s fine.”

He lets you do this for a few seconds before finally covering your trembling hands with his own. You still can’t meet his eyes.

“We don’t have to do—”

“No! No, please. I want to. I need—I need us to be okay.”

“Hey,” he murmurs, catching your chin and forcing you to look at him. “We are okay. Me and you are fine.”

It’s a pretty thought, but it’s not true. In fact, it’s a hideous and abject affront to the truth. Sure, maybe you’re fine in comparison to last week. Maybe anything feels fine compared to an eight by six cell. But it would be impossible for you and Spencer, for your relationship, whatever that relationship may be, to be fine. It’s especially impossible for him to make that claim, after all he did or rather didn’t do while he was gone. What you need is for him to stay anyway. What you need is to find a way to be with him, to exist with him, even when you are so clearly not fine.

“I just need you to stay,” you whisper, and he’s already nodding, wide-eyed like he’d do anything for you. You ignore all the bitter venom rising in your throat. You pretend this isn’t all happening after he cut you out of his life with a dirty switchblade. Instead you focus on his hands on yours, the familiar smell of him, which invites you to let go of each and every thought and worry. He must’ve showered before coming here, you realize. How long has he been out? What happened?

“Okay. Okay, I can stay. What else can I do? How do I make it better?”

You sniffle and look back down.

“You can untie that for me.”

He hesitates, then nods some more, fingers working under yours to undo the tie around his neck.

“Okay.”

A moment goes by and after that final whispered word, the tension begins to build again. Spencer senses it in the way your fingertips linger on his chest and you step even closer, dragging them down to his belt. The metallic sound of it unbuckling, despite being your own doing, still manages to flip your stomach. How many times have you pictured this? When was the first time you realized you wanted it? You’re sure you haven’t stopped wanting it even once since then.

Spencer tosses the tie away and is shrugging off his jacket now, then before you see it coming he’s kissing you again, ducking down to do it. He feels taller this close up, and especially in your bedroom, where he just seems rather out of place. But you want him here. God, you want him here.

You break the kiss, forced to look down as you fumble with his belt.

“Sorry,” you gasp, embarrassed by your lack of dexterity. The light is barely sufficient to see what you’re doing, especially when he’s wearing black on black and your eyes are still bleary.

“You’re okay,” he assures you, and it’s so Spencer a fresh round of nerves electrifies the tips of your fingers. That thing is happening—the thing you’d hoped to avoid if you hadn’t lost momentum partway through, where you’re allowing your actual feelings for him to get in the way rather than getting swept up in the pathos of the moment and letting everything be easy and mindless. “Here, can I help you?”

But he doesn’t actually wait for an answer before he’s finishing off the belt for you, tugging it loose from his hips till it’s a leather coil in his hands. Your fingers brush the material and he lets you take it as if it were your prize. It’s heavier than you thought it’d be, and you just feel the weight of it in your hands for a moment, your dropped head brushing his chest.

You have a terrible feeling that if you do this now, it doesn’t mean everything will be alright. Because it can’t just go back to normal. Spencer has told you nothing of what must be an enormous trauma, and you haven’t spoken about it at all, but you sincerely doubt that after this he’s going to be ready to just jump into that committed relationship the two of you had been toying with for months before his absence. You’re almost... scared of him, now. Scared of where he’s been and what he’s endured—things you’re sure you couldn’t have taken. What that does to a person, you can’t imagine. He seems so solid and real in front of you now—but you know that’s not always enough. Maybe you’re just scared that somehow whatever he’s been through will have made him care for you less. That you were too far removed from the whole ordeal, and now you’ll never understand. If you could understand, maybe you could fix it for him. Maybe he’d stick around.

Still—even if you do end up pushing him further away in the long run—won't it have been worth it to have had him so completely, even just once?

You toss the belt to the ground, compressing all of these very complicated thoughts and feelings into a few seconds so short he can’t ask you any questions about them. Instead you find his top button, and just as you manage to undo it with relative ease he’s gently grabbing your wrists. You look up at him, immediately surrendering.

“If we’re going to do this I need you to relax a little bit.”

Gears grind in your chest. You feel need and anxiety comingling in every square inch of your body. It’s a sick buzz—a high on an empty stomach.

“I can’t,” you admit.

“Yeah, you can,” Spencer gently disagrees, slowly lowering your hands. When he’s sure you’re not going to try ripping his clothes off again, he releases, and his eyes lower to the zipper of your hoodie. His fingers follow, warm against the soft triangle of revealed skin at your chest as he grips the small piece of metal between barely shaking fingers. “You can.”

You match his eyeline, breathing shallowly and watching as he slowly drags the zipper down. You wonder if that sound has haunted his fantasies the way the sound of his belt has haunted yours. If he’s seen this hoodie on you and wondered what’s underneath, staring at you and daydreaming during movie night with you none the wiser.

Both of you have your eyes glued to the span of skin as the zipper parts. Spencer stalls with the zipper at your sternum, just below the band of your bra.

Right. No shirt.

You look up and find his eyes already on you, tinged with a curious kind of humor.

“I wasn’t expecting guests.”

The words come out shy. Spencer’s chuckle has its own nervous airy quality as he resumes tugging on your zipper, leaning down until your noses bump.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

Then he kisses you again, a little sweeter now. Sweet enough to give you butterflies and for them to flutter right out of your stomach and spill from your lips in a little whimper against his.

It comes as a surprise when he pushes the fabric from your shoulders without looking or asking. Not that you’d have said no—you're just underprepared for how assertive he is in this foreign context.

Left just in your flimsy shorts and your thin bra, you feel quite exposed—but Spencer’s hands are as demanding and hungry as his mouth. They skim up your sensitive sides and sweep lower, suggesting less proper placement over your ass and pulling at your bottoms until you gently put a stop to their wandering.

“Wait. We’re... we’re uneven.”

It’s a struggle to get any words out at all when he keeps chasing your lips, nipping at you like he physically can’t stand not kissing you, but they catch his attention and he laughs airily, pulling back to let his gaze pour over your less clothed form. It lingers and catches and lights you up everywhere it touches, drops of heat soaking into your skin and making you feel all fuzzy and needy.

“We are,” he acknowledges, tone low and colored with the faintest smile. “You’re a lot prettier without your clothes on than I am.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The challenge comes immediately and thoughtlessly. Spencer’s golden eyes flash up to yours. He’s breathing a little harder than usual.

“You want me to show you what I mean?”

If that means getting him naked, then yes, absolutely.

You nod, but rather than immediately stripping, he takes your hand and holds his own open next to it. A thick pink scar bisects some pretty significant palmistry lines, but you don’t mention that. Instead you swallow—your thoughts, your words, your nausea.

“That’s new.”

You wonder how you hadn’t noticed it earlier.

He nods.

“A lot is new.”

It sounds almost like he’s challenging you—there's a kind of tremulous force in his voice, despite the perpetual softness there, like he’s inviting you to say it’s ugly. And you realize he’s referring to more than just the glowing scar cutting an asteroid trail against the flesh of him palm. The scars he obtained in prison must form a constellation over his body.

“I don’t care. I wanna see you.”

Spencer swallows, cupping your face with the scarred hand once more. You can’t feel it against your cheek but you know it hasn’t gone away.

“I’m sure you think you do,” he permits, and that’s where the conversation ends for the moment—with his hand on your face and his lips back on yours. “For now why don’t you let me worry about you?”

Obediently, you breathe, “okay.”

This is, for whatever reason, amusing to him. The brief levity dies as quick as it comes like a snuffed-out brush fire as soon as he lets his hands fall back down to your hips.

“I want... I want to give you slow. But...”

But slow is for people who didn’t lose three months of their life. Slow is for people who don’t know what it’s like to be starving. Slow is not for the desperate.

You understand the feeling.

“I don’t need slow.”

You’ll let him use you up like quick-burning fuel if that’s what he needs. You’ll go as fast and as bright and as hot as he tells you.

“But you want slow,” he murmurs, a secret acknowledged into your own waiting mouth. You’d keep it there forever. You could be the object he hides his soul in. “I know you do. You deserve to get what you want.”

“I can go fast. I want whatever you can give me.”

Spencer’s shuddering exhale is like a drug, dizzying as you inhale it and your eyes flutter at the high, pressed head-to-head with him. For so long you’ve needed him so badly. It’s overwhelming to have him now, all over you. If only your walls could breathe him in the way you are, if this room could remember what it feels like to hold him the way you will, if any inanimate object could bear witness to how you’ll give yourself, any part of yourself, over to him, so willingly.

“I’m going to try.” Spencer’s voice is hoarse as he walks backward to the bed, taking you by the hips as he goes. “I want to do it right. I want to do this the way I... the way I imagined it, before...”

Now he’s sitting, and you’re standing between his legs as he finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, his fingers a comforting pressure where they ghost down the slope of your back. Your heart is pounding at the confession, at the way his tongue darts over his bottom lip and his fingertips journey back up to your straps, looking up at you with haloed irises as if he’d find anything other than the most dangerous kind of smoldering devotion in your eyes—the kind cult-leaders seek and spend years nurturing, and he’d earned with a mere brush over your bare skin.

The fabric slides down your arms, and as it falls to the floor, you watch something like despair flash-flood his eyes. It is a deep, distinctly human grief. The ineffable kind where something is almost too beautiful; so perfect it offends the mortal senses because it should be permanent, but nothing is, and the clash of divine beauty with unstoppable time which oxidizes copper and covers marble with vine is almost as grotesque as metal rending delicate flesh. It is the grief that drove the first poet to write and the first parents to press their baby’s painted hands to the walls of a cave. It is the desire to do the impossible—to capture ephemeral perfection and make it eternal, and the knowledge that it is hopeless. You recognize it because you’ve felt it for him.

“I thought about you all the time,” he whispers, doesn’t bother calling you beautiful but you don’t mind because he’s telling you with his hands and his eyes and the waver of his voice. “When I was gone, I thought about you—”

You’re just as quiet, just as soft.

“Don’t, Spencer.”

He doesn’t get to tell you about when he was gone. Not now. Not after he acted like you didn’t exist.

“Okay.” He swallows the things he’d wanted to tell you like you choked on the things you needed to tell him for three months. “I’m sorry.”

But his hands—his hands are perfect over your waist and his lips are perfect where they kiss your ribs like they’re his homeland. You could forgive a thousand wrongs for each kiss he puts to your skin. Light from the full moon stretches over the room like a blessing from the cosmos, and you have every intention of making the most of that gift, how the silver gilds the planes of his face and highlights curls like they were carved, and invites you to search for something in each shadow.

Some of his kisses land over the sensitive skin of your breasts though you doubt he has much intention or that there is any sort of end-goal with the trail he blazes—in fact, you have to root your hand in his hair and pull gently back when he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s making you wait again. His eyes are glassy and cheeks slightly pinkened—you weren’t expecting this wave of fondness to knock you on your ass but here you are, falling all over again.

“You don’t have to go that slow.”

A slow smile splits the heart of his mouth at your bashful tone and he’s emboldened to bring his hands higher for a moment, thumbs brushing particularly delicate though not downright indecent spots. Nonetheless, your breath catches.

“Impatient girl,” he scolds, and though it’s lighthearted it still inspires heat to dance across your face. Oh, I think I’ve been plenty patient, you itch to say, but you bite it back because it’s only sad and true and unkind.

Still, he gives you the beginning of what you want, really only the tip of the enormous iceberg that is your desire for him, by slipping his thumbs into the waistband of your shorts and tugging them down. His hands slide up the fronts of your thighs, tracing the trim of your underwear, and you’d swear he’s not even breathing. The moment one of his hand loops behind your knee and pulls forward until it’s pressed to the mattress and you’re half-kneeling, half standing, desire begins to truly cloud your mind. Manhandling never seemed like Spencer’s style, but when paired with how softly he reveals your hip, pulling gently down on the fabric of your underwear just to admire you up close, you don’t mind it.

More kisses are littered over your stomach, and he takes you by surprise a second time with a quick maneuver landing you on your back and him on top of you.

“I wasn’t doing you justice with my imagination,” he murmurs against your mouth. “I couldn’t have known.”

“Couldn’t have known what?” you pant as he shamelessly digs his fingers into the plush of your ass. You almost hope it bruises.

“How pretty you would be,” he coos like he means it, and you dissolve, slipping through his fingers like sand in an hourglass. “You were holding out on me.”

It’s a tease, not at all serious, but you manage to hit him with a, “Was not, asshole,” and he chuckles, placating your little hurt with another sticky kiss, and you get another disorienting glimpse of some other timeline where you’re both a little less damaged. Where it’s a little easier.

But in this timeline, his touch becomes starving and ragged and urgent, and you accept the drag of his thumb up your thigh and between your legs, gasping when he runs his knuckles up the center of you. This touch is metal on screeching metal. It does not pretend to be anything more than what it is—brute, powerful, executed to elicit sensation. You get the sense that Spencer’s never touched anyone this honestly, and while you do envy the girls who got to have him gentler, you’ll take this as the compliment that it is. A kind of vulnerability that is nearing primal.

His lips, though—always his lips—are kind when they brush and land on your skin guided by some invisible map. A dip down your neck and chest and then a plunge, his tongue dragging over your hips, chasing the fabric of your underwear as he almost pulls it off and then reroutes, making room for himself between your legs and pushing lace aside to mark the hinge of your inner and upper-most thigh. Your chest heaves and you don’t dare move for fear he’ll stop leaving signs of himself on your body and you won’t be able to reassure yourself that it was real and he was here and it was not another dream.

Because something in you knows, if only consciously recognizing it for the first time now, that he will disappear again. That this may be your only chance.

The desire to make the ephemeral eternal. An impossibility.

He’s clearly losing himself to something, eyes shutting blissfully. You wonder when the last time he let his guard down even a little was. You’re okay with being the thing he gets lost in, even if you’re not exactly okay with him—something you are becoming more acutely aware of as each touch makes a part of you want to cry. Maybe you still have some things in common. A strange pain that doesn’t quite feel like it belongs to you, for one thing.

You slam back into your body as his nose nudges against you through fabric, and his lips catch on cotton as he drags himself up, eventually settling a kiss against the little bow at the waist of your underwear. There he stays, eyes closed, mouth pressed to you.

“Is this okay?”

You swallow, buzzing. Is this really what he wants? After everything?

“You don’t have to...”

“But is it okay with you?”

Nothing more than an airy whisper, you reply, “Yes, if that’s what you want.”

Being emotional at this point seems wrong, but it’s difficult to ignore the fact that you have thought about this before and it��s finally happening but it’s not exactly as you’d imagined it. There is an indelible sadness to it, to the way he’s so hungry for you because he’s been deprived, to the desperation with which he touches you because he’s had everything taken from him.

For a moment, before he tugs your underwear down, he pauses, and you wonder if he’s freezing one moment in time, this moment, and grieving all the other ways it could’ve been, and accepting that this is the way it is going to be. You are.

These higher realms of thought abandon you as he finally pulls the last barrier down your legs and encourages you to spread them further. You don’t have time or energy to be embarrassed, not even by his staring, or the way his eyes dart up to yours and back down again, wide and shining, as if to say, have you seen yourself? Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?

All you feel is the lack of him on you, the pull to have him closer so strong it’s almost sickening because he could be gone at any second. Maybe he understands that because he doesn’t waste anymore time before he’s kissing the most sensitive part of you. The drag of his tongue has you loosing a shuddering cry.

His mouth wanders, making connections you wouldn’t have realized the value of until you feel them on your skin. Your hips buck as he traces you and you’re unable to stop yourself from tangling your hands in his hair. Speech fails you—hell, you can hardly breathe as you watch his with a furrowed brow and parted lips, only expelling air from your lungs in the form of little cries and gasps and failing to hold your hips down to the bed.

The tip of his tongue teases around your entrance and he catches your leg as your foot rises off the bed, slinging it over his shoulder and consuming you more fervently until you have no choice but to moan though you’ve never been one for theatrics. Nobody has done this for you like he’s doing it for you. Locks of hair fall in front of his face and you hold them back for him, shuddering as he shifts his weight and presses the tip of his finger to your cunt.

“Ah—please,” you manage, your first words since he started. Spencer groans against you and the sound is so wonderfully unexpected, so much better than in your dreams. You cant your hips up in further invitation, chirping as he takes it, pushing two fingers into you at once. Your eyes screw shut and you bite back a whine at the slight stretch, unconsciously writhing your hips either to get further away or take him deeper, you’re not sure.

Spencer pulls back, kissing your hips and thighs and pumping his fingers very slowly as you adjust.

“’M sorry,” you pant, “it’s been awhile, I...”

“Don’t apologize,” Spencer says like it’s simple, his own breath coming quicker. “How’re you feeling? Need me to stop?”

“No! No, it feels really good, I feel good.”

He holds your burning gaze, matching it with his own, and his hair is tousled and his cheeks are flushed as he continues to move his hand.

“Yeah?”

“...Yeah.”

This little show of obedience, of call and response, has him smiling before he occupies his mouth with something else once more. It’s a different smile than you’re used to from him, but you decide you don’t at all mind it.

Like that, with his tongue and fingers working tirelessly, your orgasm comes on quickly. The feeling is rare but not entirely foreign, and in that brief moment of utter disconnect between your brain and reality, of sheer white-hot pleasure, you don’t feel you’re missing out on anything at all. How could you be, when you are here and Spencer is here and for a moment all your neurons are lighting up and flashing neon? How could there be anything more to life than the searing feeling of him slowly withdrawing his fingers from you, than your hips between his hands like he’s cradling the world, and his lips, indiscriminate with where they kiss because every part of you is worthy of attention?

You’re reeling, and your legs are gelatinous as he so affectionately sucks the darkest mark yet onto your inner thigh like a parting gift, like he’s signing his trembling work. If you could clamp your legs shut around the almost painful aftershocks you would, but he’s climbing back up your body, so all you can do is wriggle against him and release delayed, stunted little moans. He stops to kiss your neck before he makes it to your mouth and drinks down all your sounds until you’re gentle and pliant for him like you haven’t been yet.

His voice is soft and sympathetic when he speaks. “Better?”

Wordlessly you nod, both comforted and unsettled by how well he knows you. What, exactly, has been made better, you’re not sure. Not trust. You don’t trust him anymore. Something cheaper, but temporarily effective. A sense of permanence, maybe, however fleeting it may be. You’ve completed something with him now, and he’s still here, still sweet.

He looks into your eyes, then, for a moment—and there is just enough light in the room for you to tell yourself that the shadows dancing there as he looks at you are love.

They morph as you watch into haunting, wild hunger. Pained even now.

He sits up abruptly and so do you, scooting back against your headboard and pulling your knees to your chest to protect your pounding heart as Spencer takes you in with darting eyes and quick breaths. His fingers find the collar of his shirt and he begins to unbutton.

“I need you to remember it’s all going to heal.”

He swallows, and you hardly have the wherewithal to study the way he unbuttons his shirt, a way he exists in the world that you had previously not been privy to. The words are too distracting.

“What?”

Sometimes he reminds you of a deer, with those big brown eyes that can’t help betraying anxiety. Moreso in those old pictures he’d shown you from his early days at the BAU—but it shines through occasionally even now. It’s reassuring to know that something inside of his has remained soft.

“Just...” his fingers don’t stop at their task, and you come to the disturbing realization that his knuckles are bruised. “Please don’t freak out, alright?”

Your mouth goes dry, eyes glued to the lengthening span of revealed skin.

And before he even has his shirt fully undone, something isn’t right.

He’s like a Pollack of bruises—starbursts and watercolor blots of discoloration blooming over his side and stomach.

You’re glad the light is off for two reasons: one, being that you don’t think you could handle the bruising in all its glory, and two, you hope the look of horror painted on your face is at least partially obscured from Spencer.

But you can’t. You simply don’t have the gas in the tank to freak out, as he’d said—at least not externally. Those bruises shouldn’t be there, but 96 days is a long time to be gone.

You drag your eyes back to his—nervous, deeply insecure and mistrustful. A deer. Just like those pictures of a 24 year old Spencer in an FBI jacket that was too big for him.

It’s enough to have you scooting on your knees across the mattress to him. Those big eyes stay glued to you as you draw near, falling as you carefully push open his shirt, cautious not to bump any tender spots as it falls to the bed. A flash of white gauze wrapped around his forearm that makes your stomach flip. How? You want to ask. Why?

He doesn’t seem to know what you’re going to do, and neither do you, until you’re grabbing his hands, bruised knuckles and all, and just... holding them for a minute.

“I lost weight,” he says quietly, as if that’s the most shocking thing about his current appearance, though it is noticeable.

“You’re still pretty.”

He smiles at this—a true Spencer Reid smile. Flattened lips, eyes tinged silver with sadness, voice quiet and anxious and wavering.

“I didn’t have a lot to spare.”

A moment goes by.

“I’m not going to ask you about them,” you promise, though you care so much and you want to know but you already understand that he won’t want to tell you.

Another moment. It doesn't surprise you to watch the shiny vulnerability in his eyes to freeze over completely. But he squeezes your hands once in thanks, and you know it’s still the same Spencer.

“Lie down.”

Oh. Right.

This.

You do as he says, taking a deep breath to try and exhale the concern twisting your stomach like a poison. Somehow your room feels so unfamiliar, so new with him in it. Even the whorls on your ceiling look different as you study them, trying to time the pattern of your breathing with the pattern of the paint and plaster and not let the sound of Spencer further undressing quicken your heartrate too much.

Soon he’s coaxing your legs apart again, reverently, and kneeling between them, studying every part of you—lingering not on the parts you’d expect. He traces the scar on your knee with his thumb, follows a line down your thigh to the freckle on your hip. The scrutiny is unnerving and warms you everywhere. Perhaps he senses the microscopic clench of your thighs as you imagine pushing them together, if he weren’t in the way.

“You alright?” He asks, still stroking your hip. Tender again. It’s so hard to keep up.

“I...”

Suddenly your heart beat is a deafening echo in your own ears. The tide of your breathing is too powerful, too in and out and whooshing, leaving you always too empty or too full but never comfortable.

Maybe he’s changed, and he’s harder to know now, but he is the same Spencer. He is the Spencer you’d fallen in love with. The hard part is knowing that now you may never get a chance to tell him that. You don’t know if he’d be able to hear it.

There are things you can’t have with him anymore. Not now, at least. Maybe not ever. But you can have this. It will be different, but you’d rather him be different and here than the same and only in your memory.

You swallow.

“I’m good.”

Tangling your hand in his hair once more, you pull him down into a kiss. It’s hesitant, at first—maybe he can taste your thoughts, where they’d been balancing just on the tip of your tongue. But the uncertainty fades and he kisses you deeper, harder, in a way that is hard to keep up with. You like the messy overwhelm of his lips, teeth, tongue. That’s the only way he knows how to want you.

When you go to wrap your leg around his waist he catches it, running his hands over the soft plush of your thigh. The hard line of him presses against you like memory foam and you gasp and he breathes it in deeply as your brain short-circuits, as you realize this is really going to happen, that you’re going to have him like you’ve never had him before and in ways you’ve only imagined and immediately felt ashamed for.

“Spencer,” you whisper. He ducks to leave open-mouthed kisses along your neck and your eyes flutter shut, craning your neck but not losing sight of your objective as you reach down blindly. When you find what you’re looking for he freezes, groans against your neck at the same time as you breathe the tiniest whimper. Just in your hand he feels impossible, hot and imposing and hard. Your heart palpitates.

Without thinking, you angle your hips up and encourage him closer, until the tip of him is smearing through your folds, and you both go utterly silent like the breath had been stolen right from your lungs. The moment crystallizes, time around you hardening like preserved amber to keep you frozen there forever.

And then he rolls his hips, catching the underside of his cock on the crux of you, and then he does it again, and you choke out a moan and so does he, and it’s beyond perfect—it's nirvana, more than you could ever have conceived of, with his weight pressing you into the mattress, arms caging you in, his heavy breaths hot against your neck and vice versa as you twine together like serpents on a rod, your foot floating in the air as you widen your legs to make more room for him.

And you’re not even fucking yet.

“Oh my god,” you whine, just for him, barely audible under the heavy cloak of night, the thickened air in your bedroom and the sound of panting and fabric shifting. It’s like your heart is trying to reach through your chest to his own where they’re pressed together—that is how hard it’s beating.

Spencer only breathes a long, low curse and shifts so he can grasp himself. Your fingers drift down the shaft of him as he slots himself at your entrance, notching half an inch in and you hold your breath, and you brace yourself—and then he’s kissing you again, but gentler this time. Reassuring. You soften, you can’t not, releasing all your air in a soft gust through your nose, and then he’s pushing in.

Your lips part at the stretch as it fuzzes your mind, but he stays right there, nose pressed to your nose, lips ghosting over your own. He’s not going anywhere, you think, and you’re glad for it, when it burns ever so slightly, and the tiniest whine escapes your open mouth.

“Shh,” he soothes immediately, low and soft, only fractionally louder than you had been. “You’re okay.”

Spencer. Your Spencer.

For a moment, you’re living in that alternate universe. The kinder one. The flash of pain you feel then has nothing to do with the way he’s opening you up.

This is the closest you have ever been, and in some strange way, the furthest apart.

Together, fingers brushing, you guide him until he settles at not quite your deepest point. You can feel that he’s not giving you everything yet, but you’re okay with that, as you adjust to the full feeling. Spencer again senses your desire to close your legs against the deep intrusion, and gives you the best he can by encouraging you to wrap your legs around him.

“Good girl,” he whispers tenderly, nudging at your jaw with his nose and dragging kisses along the ridge of it. Your stomach flips at the moniker and your brain turns to warm sludge as your eyes flutter shut. It makes you feel all light-headed and you flutter around him. Spencer chuckles into the junction of your neck and shoulder and the vibrations send a chill down your arching spine. “I thought you might like that one.”

“Mhm.”

“Mhm. How are you? You okay?”

“’M ready.”

“You’re ready?” His tone is dripping sarcasm and faux-disbelief as he pulls back the slightest bit only to push right back in deeper, this time. Your toes curl, one thigh sliding higher up his waist as you cling to him.

“Fuck,” you manage, a pitiful, high pitched curse tossed to the wind. He echoes the sentiment.

“Oh, my god,” he groans, continuing with that slow pace, “you feel so good, angel.”

You grapple at his back, searching for purchase as your brow knits. “Faster.”

This inspires another breathy chuckle, but he obliges, and you cry out softly. It’s almost unreal, your head buried against his neck, drunk on his scent and the drag of him like a shock felt in the far reaches of your body, again and again.

There’s nothing you can say that will accurately demonstrate what you’re feeling, so you elect not to speak, to remain silent and try to get a grip on this cacophony of sensation and emotion. But it’s too much to be alone with. You feel you have to get it out, to seek understanding. You can’t do it alone.

“Spencer.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t know...” the sentence trails off into a gentle keen. He moves to kiss you, speaking against your lips.

“You don’t know?”

Shyly you shake your head. Spencer sighs wistfully.

“Do you know how much I missed you?”

It’s like he can sense your need for comfort. For something grounding.

And while this topic was off-limits earlier—you're softer now. The stone walls that form your boundaries have been chipped away and lowered.

Spencer continues unprompted.

“I thought about you every day. Every night while I was falling asleep. You were always on my mind, angel girl.”

You whine. Whether it’s pleasure or distress is anyone’s guess—including your own.

“You were gone so long,” you whisper, eyes shut.

At this, Spencer slows again, and the tension that was building settles back to a simmer.

“I know. I wish I could—I wish I could change that. But I’m here, okay? I’m right here with you.”

Then he makes sure you feel every last inch, and it takes your breath away. If your thoughts were any more coherent, they’d be something along the lines of: but for how long? How long until you leave again?

“You’re here.”

You say it like a mantra, once out loud, and then again and again in your head, timed with every clash of your hips. With each repetition he becomes more real. Every little ache, every tingling, head-emptying brush against that most sensitive spot inside proves to you that he could not be any closer. This can’t be faked. It can’t be another dream to wake up in tears from.

“You’re here,” you gasp as it hits you, as it truly sinks in.

“I’m here,” he breathes.

There’s so much you want to say—three months of words you need him to hear, of things you need to talk to him about, things you need to yell at him for and things you can only say crying in his arms and things you can only say laughing or whispering or drunk or half-asleep—and in this moment you can’t manage any of it. Every word condenses into one drop of salt water, drifting away from your eye and down your cheek. Spencer doesn’t tell you to stop crying. He only kisses the tear away, and murmurs I’m here I’m here I’m here over and over again against your skin until he’s not even speaking it out loud anymore. But you feel it. With every brush of his lips, every breath, every movement, you feel it.

Soon he’s adjusting his angle, gradually picking up the pace but retaining that unforgiving depth, and your nails bite into the skin of his back as your jaw drops. Spencer hisses, pressing impossibly closer.

“I’m sorry!” you squeak.

“Do it again.”

“Wh—what?”

“Please,” he begs, low and hot against your jaw, just beneath your ear. “Do it again, honey.”

Honey.

You’d do anything for him if it meant he calls you that again.

When he shifts his weight to one arm and reaches down between your bodies to play with your aching clit in exactly the right way, you don’t really have a choice. You arch and moan wantonly enough to feel embarrassed as your nails scratch down his back. At the same time he’s making noises of his own, and you almost feel guilty for marking him up like this only you think he likes it. The most perfect and troubling tension is building in your core, so taut you almost fear the inevitable rebound when it snaps. But you’re driven to be exactly what Spencer needs right now, and to let him try and be what you need. Even if it scares you. Even if you’re not sure how.

Spencer groans, head tucked to the bend of your shoulder. “I’m not gonna last.”

Any response you might’ve been about to muster is annihilated by a sudden, deep bolt of pleasure.

“’M gonna cum,” you mewl like it’s a secret.

“Are you?” he asks, coming up breathless. If your eyes were open, you’re sure you’d see him above you.

“Mhm.”

“Look at me. Look at me.”

It is unmistakably a command—one you fight to follow.

You cry out as you meet the intensity of his gaze, those shadowy corridors suddenly ablaze and alive. They are not unending, like you’d thought. They are a door thrown open to let the light in, or maybe to let the fire out. They’re open in this moment for you.

No more words are spoken after that—you cum hard, gasping as you fall and spin. Spencer follows very shortly after, like he was holding it together just for you, and your eyes are still locked though everything is a bit bleary.

“Fuck,” you whine as he continues to fuck you for as long as he can, despite your writhing hips, but you’re entranced by him, unable to look away now that you’re hooked. Until he slows to a halt, glances down at your mouth, and you just have time to pray that he’ll kiss you before he does. You whimper against his lips—a plea for understanding. A plea for him to stay, even though this is over. He kisses back so soft and sweet it’s like he can read your mind. Echoes of I’m here I’m here I’m here still buzz across your skin. His eyelashes tickle your cheek. Your heart stops beating quite so quickly, melting and warm like the rest of your body.

Soon the kissing ceases and you’re just breathing together, trapped and faced with the knowledge that it must end just the same as you had waited for it to start.

Eventually the air between you becomes mostly carbon dioxide and you let your head fall to the side, dizzy and giggling breathlessly as you nearly avoid asphyxiation. Spencer laughs too, letting his head fall to your shoulder once more, and you finally let your eyes flutter closed. To do something as simple as laugh with him again is its own small euphoria. It’s unexpected, and a soft landing once all that tension breaks underneath your combined weight.

It can’t last forever, you know that well. But the slow fade of it makes the next parts a little easier.

Spencer presses a kiss to your neck. “Is your bathroom through that door?”

You hum a confirmation and are only slightly disheartened when he pulls out and rolls off of you. You’re further disturbed when you see there’s gauze around his thigh, matching what’s around his arm, and you wonder how you missed that. Spencer scoops up his clothing and disappears into the adjoining restroom, assuring you he’ll be right back and leaving you alone with your thoughts and the whorls on the ceiling which have seemingly shifted into entirely new constellations.

He leaves the door cracked which is oddly reassuring—the sliver of warm light and the sound of the sink running. Only a few moments pass before he’s returning clad in boxers once more to sit on the edge of the bed, pushing away the sheet you’d just pulled over your chest and pulling one of your legs over his lap. Your face warms as he brings a washcloth between your thighs. As soon as he glances up at you and catches your eye you’re looking back to the ceiling.

“I should’ve asked first,” he says quietly as he cleans up the mess he’d made of you.

You speak just as softly, like you’re both afraid of disturbing some peace, of waking some sleeping giant. “It’s okay. I would’ve told you if I didn’t want it.”

His reticence, his unreadable face, make you nervous.

When he’s done, he rises to toss the dirtied cloth in the laundry bin, and with his back to you (as scratched up as it might be) you feel braver.

“Are you gonna, like... hate me now?”

It was a mistake. That’s clear by the way he turns around, brow knit deeply and grimacing slightly like even the suggestion offends him.

“Am I going to hate you?”

Again you pull the sheet up, and again you look away, studying the pattern of moonlight stretching out over the floor and scooting to make room for him when he steps in it.

“Not hate, I just...” the bed dips beside you and you are indescribably glad he’s not immediately running out the door. “I’m not dumb. I know what this was.”

He pulls you into him and you settle against his chest. It feels good. “I never thought you were dumb.”

This is your first real conversation since he’s gotten back, you realize. And how quickly you’re falling into familiar patterns, familiar syntactical beats. You know when to speak. You know when to bite your tongue and keep him talking.

The silence goes on longer than you’re used to. Maybe he got good at not speaking while he was away.

Eventually your eyes wander, falling to the white strip over his thigh where it is parallel to yours on the bed, only over the sheets.

“What happened?”

You said you wouldn’t ask, but that was then, and you’re upset again. You almost want to hurt him. To piss him off. You don’t know.

But it doesn’t work.

“Do you really want to know?” There’s a note of something heavy in his voice, and you look up at him. It’s a privilege to have him this close—his beauty is a constant surprise that you’d become unaccustomed to over the months. You say nothing, and he takes that as the yes that it is. “I... I did it to myself.”

He may as well have reached down your throat and grabbed for fucking heart for all its clenching. Tears well almost immediately, though they’ve been waiting in the wings all night.

“What? Did you—were you trying to—”

His eyes widen.

“No! No, honey, no.” You wilt as he gathers you closer, a deeply confused frown still contorting your features, too heartbroken even to cling to him, or to appreciate the ease with which honey slips past his lips again. “No. I was—it's complicated. I didn’t—I wasn’t trying to hurt myself, but I had to—I had to do it before someone else did something worse.”

The bruises covering his abdomen.

You sniffle and pull back enough to look up at him tearfully. “Why would they want to hurt you?”

Mist fills his eyes even as he’s looking down at you, a layer of separation, as if he’s two places at once. Even as he goes to brush your hair behind your ear, to stroke your cheek.

“I’m... not... the same, as I was.” It’s not an answer to your question—but it’s the beginning of the answer to a question you’d been too afraid to put into words.

“Don’t say that,” you beg, because you know where this is going. He keeps smoothing your hair like it’ll make this easier.

“But it’s true,” Spencer says gently, the slightest waver betraying his own emotion.

“You’re just going to leave again.”

And you’re losing to the tears.

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you will,” you insist, like a child crying to a parent come to comfort them after a bad dream.

“Not right now. Right now I’m here.”

I’ll stay until you fall asleep again.

For now, maybe that has to be enough.

You cry on his shoulder. He kisses your head and doesn’t tell you to stop.

Eventually, you sniff and wipe your eyes.

“We were so close. Before you… we were almost there.”

You’re sure of it. You’re sure that if he hadn’t gone when he did you would’ve been a real couple. You would’ve told him you loved him.

“We’ll get there again,” he promises, rubbing your arm. “I just… I need a little bit of time. I think you do too. But we’re going to get there again.”

Maybe it will never be like it was.

But as so often is the case—Spencer is right. Difference doesn’t mean it won’t ever be good again.

You have to believe that, just as you had to believe you’d see him again.

You look to The Odyssey on your bedside table.

The sun has been obliterated from the sky, and an unlucky darkness invades the world.

But the sun has a habit of rising, time and time again, after the longest nights, after the darkest storms.

You feel the beginnings of its rise, see the golden tips of it lighting the room as he holds you. Even now.

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds x you #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid angst

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chrollohearttags · 1 month ago

Text

love thy neighbor • r. sukuna

(Y/N) moves into an apartment complex on the other side of town and winds up living right next door to one of the most notorious drug dealers in the city nonetheless! But looks can be deceiving…

📝: black!fem plus size reader, plug!sukuna, age gap (6 years or so) mentions of toxic relationship and baby trapping, religious trauma, anxiety, alcohol + drug use, comfort + fluff and angst to smut, missionary, prone bone, oral sex, reader cries during, daddy is used a couple times, size difference, lots of kissing, positive affirmations, creampie

wc: 3.0K

🎙️: I swear imma get back to posting regularly! I’m just being lazy and hating my writing rn (it sucks) 😭 but I hope y’all enjoy

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you didn’t know what to expect when you found yourself residing on the same floor as plug!sukuna..it was your first time living on your own. Fresh out of your parents’ house with minimal belongings and all of the savings you had managed to scrounge over the years. Enough to cover first and last month’s rent with some extra left over..working as a receptionist in a local doctors office by day and offering online tutoring services at night to suffice your income. You'd return home from your shift, ready to relax by at least eight o clock..meanwhile, plug!sukuna was just beginning his night. Heading out into the streets to do God knows what until the early morning hours. But he’d never leave until he’d done two things: said hello and made sure that you were straight. You never really understood the logic behind it..especially considering the fact that you weren’t exactly close friends or even acquaintances beforehand. Hell, he didn’t know you at all and yet, he was just as kind as an old lady bringing you cookies to welcome you to the neighboorhood.

nonetheless, plug!sukuna would always tell you “..keep that door locked, don’t answer that shit for nobody and call me if you need anything, aight?” his deep voice was the last voice you’d heard for the evening and the first when you awoke in the morning. Sometimes, he’d even bring you breakfast per your request and you’d eat together. You’d cut off all ties to your controlling, religious fanatic family and the narcissistic ex who’d all but attempted to stick you with a kid you didn’t want and turn you into his personal doll…trapped inside of the house with no purpose other than to serve him. It was the way all of the men in your former faith operated. But you weren’t interested. Not in the slightest. In fact, you wanted change so drastic, it’d make their goddamn heads spin! Over time, you’d grow closer to plug!sukuna. His second long check ins and warnings became full blown conversations as the two of you congregated downstairs in the pool area or at the mailbox for a cup of coffee. A cigarette dangling from his fingertips to go light once he went outside.

“I know this place seems nice and all from first glance but…imma let you in on a lil’ secret, baby. It’s all types of people who come here..looking for trouble and hell, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m part of the reason. That’s why I tell you to keep your door locked. Your pretty ass answers for the wrong person and somebody is bound to try and take advantage. ‘Damn shame I’d have to fuck someone up if something were to happen to you..”

plug!sukuna was sweet and endearing in his own right. But that’s what drew you into him..he was the very antithesis to what you knew men to be. Brutally honest yet so empathetic to your feelings. Rough as hell around the edges but a total gentleman. He may have done horrible things but he was a good guy..the best damn one you’d ever met. Unbeknownst to him, you’d watch him from the window leaving out; others surrounding him in the parking lot in similar cars. Blacked out with tinted windows..doing sleight of hand to pass something to other tenants who you’d recognized. Only what you could assume to be drugs. A couple of the guys you’d recognized from church, talking to deacons and pastors..now it’d all made so much more sense. Even so, plug!sukuna kept you out of that part of his life as much as possible. Eventually, some months would pass and it was a secret to no one that you’d grown quite fond of him..damn near smitten even.

however, plug!sukuna was adamant on not taking it there with you! He’d admitted himself that you were beautiful and in another life, any other circumstances..he wouldn’t hesitate to make you his. The problem was, you were still too vulnerable and he was knee deep in a lifestyle he wanted you to steer clear from. You were healing from years of trauma and downright abuse..trying to navigate this world on your own. If he were any other scumbag, he could have easily sucked you into his world and had you out here doing his bidding.

“(Y/N) baby..do you know how many girls just like you..who leave bad situations and end up in worse ones because some nasty motherfucker saw how vulnerable they were and used that to their advantage? How many girls went from being in the church to being on their knees for some pimp? I care too much ‘bout you to let that happen. I’m no good for you, I swear. You’d only end up hurt because I can’t give you all of me. Shit, I can’t even promise I’d make a good boyfriend. I’m selfish as hell, I’m always gone..I’ve slept with more women than I can remember. What could you possibly want with somebody like me, huh? What could I possibly do for you, (y/n)?”

but you saw right through plug!sukuna’s facade. He was gentle at heart..a romantic even. He wanted his person to spoil and adore just as much as you did. The streets were his only love for most of his life. He’d seen many things but nothing quite like you..those round, doe eyes; so innocent and pure. Pouty lips, chubby cheeks and the soft, ringlet curls that surrounded that gorgeous face. That soft, plump body and those thighs that rubbed together when you walked away. He wanted to devour you whole sometimes..many nights had plug!sukuna lied in his bed next door, thinking of you being on top of him. Those perky breasts jiggling as he bounced you up and down on his cock. Those nails clawed at his chest as sweat poured down his skin. But those thoughts were far too lewd and disgusting for someone like you! He was ashamed of even having them. But he couldn’t help himself..especially when that sweet, airy voice all but begged him to take you.

“Because I love you, Ryo..I love everything about you. Even the bad shit. I don’t care what you do because it’s not who you are..you’re the man that brings me food and coffee in the morning so I don’t have to rush before work. You’re the man who kisses my forehead when he leaves because you know, deep down..it could be the last time I see you. You’re the man who calls me every time he hears a gunshot or sirens because he worries himself sick about me when I’m not near him. You carry my laundry baskets and groceries, you clean my apartment while I’m sleeping because I’m too tired. And not once have you ever tried to touch me. You never made me repay you with sex or anything. You could easily hurt me and you can’t even bring yourself to raise your voice, even when I’m dead fucking wrong. No one has ever cared about me that much, boyfriend or otherwise and I don’t give a damn if you sell drugs or blow up buildings. A man who’d do all of that for me and never asks for anything in return is exactly who I want.”

plug!sukuna found himself dumbstruck for the first time in a long time..standing there with your small hand cradling his chiseled jaw, tears streaming down your face, he’d find that his own eyes were welling and burning. He’d never heard anyone speak about him in such a way. “Damn, I guess you can read me like a book.” Hell, he’d never acted that way with anyone else either. Yet here he was, treating you like a princess. He couldn’t pretend anymore..he had to be honest with you..and himself.

“I—I love you too, (y/n). So much..”

“Then make me yours. Right now..right here.”

“you know once we do this, we can’t go back..”

“Please..leaving the past behind is kind of my thing.”

it didn’t take long for your lips to meet in a fiery haze, tongues intertwined in a moment of heated bliss. Your hands roaming one another’s bodies as moans slipped through..your clothes all but becoming discarded heaps on the living room floor like a movie scene cliche. His lips traced from your neck to your collarbone; slightly dredging his teeth along the skin in the process.

“Here, baby..take my hand.” plug!sukuna, in one fell swoop hoisted you into his arms as if you weighed practically next to nothing. Continuing to feed you those slow kisses, he’d carry you to a nearby wall and part your thighs. With your legs resting on his shoulders, he’d mark every inch of you. From your sensitive nipples which he cradled in his mouth to that pudgy tummy he loved so much to that juicy center, which was practically leaking for him.

“This all me? Just from some kissing?..” “This is nothing. I touch myself every night thinking about you..you should see the mess I make then.” plug!sukuna could barely sate his urges now, hearing how nasty this supposedly innocent girl was for him! He wasted no time slithering his tongue into that aching cunt. Swirling it around on that throbbing clit, spitting into those pretty pink folds and those succulent brown lips encasing them. He feasted like a man unhinged; greedy and selfish as fuck, just like he claimed. You’d grasp a hold of those dark reddish and black locks, grinding yourself into his face. Rubbing his nose in between your slit.

“Mmmph! Ryo…” “Yeah, fuck my face. Don’t hold back now. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do this.”

plug!sukuna would eat your pussy until he heard you sobbing and felt that orgasm come barreling out. Your tight hole spasming on air as those juices trickled down his throat, chest and mouth. He couldn’t help but to laugh as he watched you writhe in pleasure. Attempting to push him away as you rode out that orgasm.

“Wha—how did you?—“ “What? I told you..I’ve had a lot of practice.” Choosing to omit the fact that he’d fantasized about you sitting on his face more times than he could count. Tossing you a wink and one final lick before carting you over to the sofa. Where he laid you down gently against the cushions…pinning those legs back whilst hovering over you. The entire time, he couldn’t take his gaze away from those gorgeous eyes..they glimmered so bright. Full of lust, adoration and excitement. No matter how much you smiled, he always sensed a certain emptiness behind them. A light stolen from you and now, he hoped to reignite it.

observing your movements, plug!sukuna began to chuckle when he saw you pawing at his crotch. So eager to unsheathe that hard on from his boxers. He could tell that the shy, bashful demeanor you presented was only a front. If given the opportunity, he could turn you into his personal slut with ease..but for now, he wanted to focus solely on making love to you. Giving you every part of him that he’d long to for months now. You’d examine his chiseled torso, reaching up to caress his abs and trace your fingertips along his various tattoos. But you couldn’t distract yourself from how large that bulge was..protruding and leaking with precum…

“Can I?—“ Go ahead, baby..take it out.” And without hesitation, you’d tug that elastic waistband back and let it spring forth. He was so girthy and long. Clean shaven and although he was erect now, you could tell he was huge even when flaccid. Nonetheless, plug!sukuna grasped those thick thighs of yours and mounted in between them; gliding that aching tip along your folds. ”Now you tell me if it hurts, okay baby? If I see you flinch or look uncomfortable, I’m pulling the fuck out. We clear?” And you knew when he spoke, that was law. Nodding in agreement, you’d consent to his terms as you rubbed your folds, waiting for him.

“Good..and tap my arm if you can’t talk. I’m ‘bout to start moving. You ready?” with your permission, he’d glide in slowly and immediately, he thought he’d seen stars! Plug!sukuna, by his own volition, had been with countless girls. From strippers to models, but never had he felt pussy this tight! The warmth immediately cradling him and not letting go. He’d suck his teeth before muttering a single ‘fuck’ under his breath. You were going to be some pressure, he was certain of it. But he’d continue on, gathering his footing and working that cock into your entrance. A single pop, along with wet, squishing sounds rang out across that living room as you lie underneath him.

“Goddamn…your shit feels incredible, baby. I know you had some good pussy..I can tell just by looking at you.” Forcing a wide, toothy smile on your face. You’d never heard him talk so vulgar but it was the side you’d brought out. He was officially obsessed!

“Yeah? Well I’ve been wanting to give it to for so long..I never thought you’d fuck me..”

“I kept you waiting, huh? I’m sorry..guess it just means we gotta make up for lost time then, huh?”

plug!sukuna was thrilled to know that he’d no longer have to hold back because you were on the same wavelength. You’d have no issues matching his energy..so with that, he’d speed up those thrusts. Pounding you with gentle but well paced strokes. The sound of your thighs and skin slamming together, coupled with the sounds of both your moans, made for a beautiful chorus. Your hands around his neck, scratching at his back; legs around his waist and his muscular arms planted right at your sides. Drilling you just as you’d requested and there was no limits between the two of you.

“Yes! Keep fucking meeee..oh my goodness. I’m gonna come again!”

“You’re so fucking cute..damn..” adoring how you sounded squealing and laughing as you met his thrusts. He couldn’t believe how receptive you were and how it took no time at all for you to open up.

“And you look so pretty taking all this dick for daddy. I can’t stop staring at you.” That deep voice showering you with praise as his thick cock thrashed around your insides. Even though you had always been a bigger girl, he made you feel so dainty and small..like a precious treasure he never wanted to lose. “You deserve this, baby..to get fucked just like this. To be spoiled and get whatever you want. I can put you up..you ain’t ever gotta worry about shit. Not a bill, not rent, your family..I got you, baby. I promise. I love you..” You believed every single word and clung to them with every fiber you had. You’d never had anyone treat you with such grace and care before..and that wasn’t the end. He’d continue doting. Telling you how proud he was of you and how far you'd come. How he admired your strength to get out of your situation…he was in awe. plug!sukuna would continue singing your praises until he looked up and spotted tears coming down your face. He was tempted to stop until you told him that you were just fine. He on the other hand..was struggling to maintain his stamina.

“No no..please don’t stop. You just make me feel so good. No one has ever fucked me like this.”

but that alone seemed to ignite a second wind and in a moment of haste, you’d find yourself flipped over into your stomach with his entire body weight shifted on top of you.

“You mean that, baby?” Those outer fangs of his teeth glistening and mouth slicked with saliva as he began pounding you once more..hands pinned to your back and his frame covering your own. The plumpness of that ass ricocheting off of him as he penetrated those walls. You’d come once again, dripping onto the leather couch and making that aforementioned mess he’d been dying to see. This time, his pace was rougher..less structured and sporadic. He couldn’t help it..he was running on pure fumes, trying to give you the first time experience you deserved. Tugging your head back by those thick curls, plug!sukuna fed you the deeper strokes he could muster until those chocolate eyes rolled back.

“Y-yes! This dick is amazing..”

“Tell me who it belongs to. Who’s this good pussy belong to now?”

“Y-you, daddy. It’s yours! Oh fuck..”

never having uttered such lewd words in your entire life, you reveled in the fact that he had been the one to bring this side out. And now, you were about to bring a side out of him. One far more vulnerable than the public witnessed..one that would beg you to let him come inside of you and cry out your name in sweet ecstasy as he did so. You’d feel those warm seeds pouring into your womb as he came to a halt and you welcomed them. plug!sukuna didn’t hesitate to swaddle you in his arms for kisses and comfort.

“I don’t want this to end..tell me it doesn’t have to, Ryo. Can we be this way forever?”

“We can stay like this for as long as you want, baby. I’m not going anywhere.“

and it was a promise he intended to keep. Not just as your neighbor or the guy next door looking over you. But now, as your lover and the man who’d never leave your side.

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luveline · 9 months ago

Note

could you write bombshell!reader getting a tattoo of spencer’s name or something that reminds her of him and his reaction please?

“Why are you kissing me?” you mumble, your voice hoarse with sleep.

They’re light kisses. “I’m going now,” Spencer says, matching your quiet tone.

“No.”

You wrap your arm behind his neck and feel his hair against your wrist. His nose and lips warm your jaw.

“Yes.” He kisses your jaw. “I have to go, but I didn’t wanna leave without a kiss.”

That’s really sweet, he’s so sweet, you’re so tired. “Please don’t go, Spencer.”

“I have to go.” He readjusts your hugging to hum against your temple, distinctly content despite your pleading. “I’ll be back by six for dinner, promise.”

“Promise,” you say.

You get to keep him for a few minutes, regardless. His neck must sing bent as he is over you but he doesn’t relent, doesn’t move until you encourage his face back to kiss just under his bottom lip. “Sorry, I’m making you late,” you whisper.

“No, no, I accounted for this. You’re on my agenda.”

“How much time did you allot?” you ask through a smile.

“Seventeen minutes. That’s how long we usually hug in the morning.”

“Gotta get that time down,” you say.

“Or up.” He holds your face. You turn your head into his touch and keep him for just another half a minute.

“Okay,” you mumble, letting your eyes flutter closed again, “you can leave, I’m gonna go back to sleep.”

“Good idea.” He kisses you, and he says goodbye. You’re sleeping again before he’s even left your room

When you wake properly, you still feel loved, like a sunburn but with less stinging. There’s something very special about your boy; something permanent about the way he loves. You can’t imagine he’ll ever stop loving you like this, he’s embedded you so deeply into his life and his routines (and you’d beg him to keep you if he ever changed his mind). That in itself is crazy. You can’t have imagined begging a guy to let you stay, but for Spencer, you would.

When he comes home that night, half an hour before six, you have no regrets.

You hadn’t noticed how he was dressed when he left, but he looks lovely in just a simple t-shirt and jeans. Remarkably casual for him, you used to think he only wore t-shirts to bed, but the older he gets the better propensity he has for comfort. What makes it for you is the cardigan.

“You look nice,” you praise, more than satisfied when the first thing he does after he takes off his shoes is lean down to hug you where you’re sitting on his couch.

“Thank you.” He pats your back and pulls away. “You’re beautiful,” he says with ease, like he’s commenting on the weather. “Good day?”

Your lips pucker into a twist.

“What?” he asks.

Unfortunately, he sounds deeply worried.

“No, it’s nothing, I just hurt my arm. Can you have a look?”

Spencer takes your arm. “What did you do?” he asks, pulling the sleeve of your shirt carefully up to your elbow. The Saran wrap confuses him, until it doesn’t, and he grins at your skin, before frowning again. His flickering emotions worry you, until he says, “Is that mine?”

You hold your arm in the light. “Of course it’s yours?”

It’s just a few words from a note he wrote you, perhaps too soon into your relationship for sweetness, and yet one you kept anyways. He told you the story of the I Love You lighthouse, or rather, the Minot Ledge lighthouse, and how the man who lived there had to live on a different island to his family while tending the lighthouse, so he would flash the light once, then four times, and then three times, one flash for every letter of each corresponding word: I love you. The note was left on your dresser. You’d slept together the night before, but he had to leave early. Nowadays he wakes you up, but back then he’d been too shy.

I want to be able to do that for you but I can’t find a lighthouse in D.C. that will let me in to try. I’ll keep looking.

“I’ll keep looking,” Spencer reads. His thumb heistates just under your small font.

“It’s from that note you left me.”

“I know, I remember.” He does his awful frowny face where his eyelids lower and you're sure he’ll never smile again, he looks that upset. “You know this is permanent?”

“They do tend to be,” you say with a lovelorn sigh.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should kiss you, or hug you, or… I don’t know why you’d do this.”

“But it’s okay?” you ask. It could make for a very awkward conversation if he doesn't like it.

“It’s perfect.” He holds your gaze. “You’re perfect.”

He acts like your tattoo is a gaping wound as he moves in to hug you, careful of your new ink, but relentless in the tightness of his arms behind your back. You laugh, then squeal at his insistence, a giggly girly thing that nobody else should ever hear but him. He doesn’t make fun of you, just squeezes you to him, his face pressed so hard to yours you can feel his cheekbones.

“Now I just have to say something romantic for you to get tattooed and we’ll be equal again.’

“So we aren’t equal?”

“Um, no way.” Your laugh is self-satisfied and breathless. You turn your lips to his cheek. “I love you. I’m gonna build you a lighthouse.”

“Can’t believe you kept that note.”

“I have a whole shoebox of them. I love that you write them.”

He stops holding himself up, half on the couch and half in your lap as he hugs you with every bit of strength in his arms.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction

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xervn · 2 months ago

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till the sun is up

oneshot | cowboy sevika

ao3 link

summary: porch sex. that's about it.

18+ MDNI | 2k words | tags; modern au, cowboy sevika (doesn't play a big part though), established relationship, sevika has both arms (sorry, ik, i love it too), kissing, vaginal fingering, orgasm denial, no use of y/n, porn w/ plot if you squint

took me weeks to write this because i'm lazy and a student, but i'm still in love with sevika. sorry if there's grammatical errors, i mostly wrote this with one hand (im joking)

It’s six-oh-something AM and you woke up to an empty bed; nothing but wrinkled sheets where your wife is supposed to be. You figure she’s keeping herself busy and will be back soon, so in the meantime, you tie your robe around your waist for a little warmth and head downstairs.

You get started on breakfast, turning on the griddle, and taking note of the things you guys need to stock up on. However, by the time you’re done, Sevika has still not shown up. You’re not used to waking up without seeing her, although the only reason you’re up right now is because you didn’t feel her next to you.

“She must be in the barn.” You assume, making your way to the front door and to the porch. As expected, the horses are out, which could only mean Sevika was too. You make your own binoculars with your hands, trying to see if you can spot your wife in the distance, until you hear a soft grunt right beside you.

A peaceful sight, Sevika napping on a wooden armchair like an uncle at a family gathering— you giggle at that— with her cowboy hat being used as a sleeping mask. You hate to have to wake her up, but you made her breakfast! And she should’ve been sleeping next to you anyways.

“Vika..” You lean down to peek at her face, but, of course, her hat is blocking her eyes. “Vika, baby?” You squat down to plant a kiss on her cheek where you can manage, and she hums awake. “There you are.”

Sevika grunts and you giggle. She sits up and pulls her hat back on her head, squinting at the early morning sun that’s still rising, but somehow found a perfect angle to blind her. She turns to look at you instead. “Hey, sweetheart.” She greets with a rasp.

You spot her discomfort and use your body to block the incoming light for her. “Hi, I missed you.”

She smiles sleepily and reaches for your waist. She guides you down to sit on her lap and you happily let her. “‘M sorry. Woke up too early, thought I’d let the horses out and watch the sunrise...” She says before looking away to yawn.

You gasp lightly, “Without me?” You clutch at your chest and Sevika chuckles at your theatrics.

She gently tries to move your hand into hers, but you resist. She shakes her head, laughing, “No, no, no. Baby, please, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“But you made it sound so romantic.. I wouldn’t mind.” You pout. Sevika gives you a doubtful look and you pretend not to see it.

“You’re not nice when I wake you up.” She reminds you.

“I would’ve been nice this time.” You lie.

“I didn’t want to test that.”

You playfully roll your eyes, “Oh, whatever.” You shift to get up, but Sevika quickly anchors you down.

“Where are you going?” She questions with her hands on you firmly; one around your waist and on your stomach, and the other indented in your thigh like you might float away.

“Ease up, cowgirl. I made breakfast. I made you breakfast.” You reply, placing your hand on her cheek.

“Oh? What’d you make?” She asks as she leans her face into your touch, innocently. Her hands don’t budge.

“Bacon, eggs,” you list and Sevika nods in approval, “Pancakes, and coffee...” You drawl, and her eyes shut as she groans. “Uh-huh, are you gonna join me?” You ask, resting your hands on her chest and waiting for her answer.

She looks you in the eyes, until her gaze starts to go south, lingering at the low neckline of your nightgown. Your cleavage makes a sudden appearance she didn’t notice at first. Sevika was half-awake, but she’s definitely not anymore; whistling at the sight of you. Her grasp on your thigh leaves and goes to pull your satin robe down your shoulder. Surprised, you scold, “Sevika!”

“What?” She goes for the other shoulder and you make no attempts to stop her. “I can’t admire my wife?” She says, resting her rough hand on your thigh again, but this time she’s slowly massaging it up and down.

“You can, but I made you breakfast and it’ll get cold.”

“Baby, that’s what microwaves are for.” She coos, venturing her hand between your legs, slowly making her way up.

They almost flinch shut and Sevika awes. Your face turns warm and you look away, towards your surroundings, and although she's right about the food, you guys are still outside. You mutter out, “But..”

“But what?” She asks. You continue to aimlessly look in the distance, even though you know damn well there’s nothing but farmland and horses. Sevika chuckles, “The horses don’t care and we don’t get visitors. Even if we did, you know I’d kill ‘em before they could see you like this, right?” You fix your lips to respond, but you pause when the hand on your stomach moves down to the lace hemline of your gown. Her fingers curl underneath, waiting to search. “I miss you.” She whispers.

Her words tug at your heart and her puppy eyes burn into you. You didn’t need much convincing anyways, but you fold and you mumble out, “I know what you’re doing...” Your marriage has taught two things, if Sevika “misses you” she either really does, or she really wants to fuck you.

You reach for her hat and perch it on your head; an unspoken rule about cowboys Sevika once said. She grins up at you as you slide your hand over her shoulder, closing some distance between you two.

“I do miss you, I miss you all the time.” She assures, leaning in to freely press kisses on your shoulder. Her fingers finally lift your dress and her kisses begin to trail towards your neck. You can deduce which “missing” she meant, and you feel the same way.

Exhaling, you tip your head to the side to give her more room. Sevika’s lips marking the new territory makes you tremble like it was the first time. It’s no surprise that after years of being together, she still makes your heart race.

You move with her as she leans back, tugging you towards her. You involuntarily let out a squeak that she snickers at, and she gives you a kiss on the cheek and several more, distracting you from her spreading your legs indecently; hooking your outer leg over her strong forearm.

She wastes no time to ride up the front of your nightgown, showcasing your plain, flimsy, black, cat-themed underwear. Sevika doesn’t bat an eye, of course, she’s used to it.

Right now, she’s only focused on one thing. Her hand purposefully ghosts over, so she can ogle at you writhing with anticipation. Your knitting brows, heavy breathing— it excites her. She’s getting worked up from watching you. “Look how bad you want it.” She teases affectionately.

Sevika presses her middle finger on your damp, clothed clit, observing and feeling every reaction that pulses from you. You let out a soft curse and she rewards it by moving her finger in tight circles. Sevika listens to how your breath staggers and clenches from the ache between her own legs. She tugs your underwear to the side to properly admire how wet you are. The cool, morning air makes you shiver.

Pinning the fabric with her ring finger, she sensually swipes her middle up your folds. “All for me?”

Her voice has you melting, throbbing, and you're unable to contain the whine that escapes you. Sevika’s gaze locks on your lips the second she hears it, as if she’s hunting for the next one. You make sure she’ll be able to catch it, meeting her halfway for a kiss.

She grins as your mouths collide, eyes fluttering shut and lips passionately fitting together like a two-piece puzzle. She brings another finger to aid her in rubbing soft circles on your clit; just enough to build pressure, but not enough to relieve it. The tip of her tongue runs over your parted bottom lip, waiting for an invitation in, and you allow it with a breathy moan. She languidly teases her tongue across yours, then pulls away just to watch you follow after her— which you do— and you can see how much she got off on it.

Panting impatiently, “Sev…“ But you trail off as she gravitates towards you with another magnetizing, searing kiss. Your hands find the side of her neck, brushing up her nape.

She sweetly pecks your lips, breaking away for a second, “You’re,” she kisses you again, “Just,” and again, “So,” and again, “Pretty. I had to look.” She murmurs.

Your face becomes home for a cheesy smile Sevika reciprocates dotingly. You lean in to kiss her, and as your lips brush against each other’s, her fingers suddenly resume their movement, this time firmly and relieving. You whimper over her lips, and she chuckles darkly against yours. She kisses you deeply as she steadily coaxes your clit on a perfect pressure point.

Your legs begin to bow together from the overwhelming sensation, slowly coming to its climax, and Sevika takes it as a sign to slip her fingers into you. The stretch hurts good as she curls her fingers into ‘come-hither’ motions right where you need them. The previous build up resumes instantly and you’re back where you left off, right on the brink.

“Vika, I’m gonna…“ You softly cry out, unable to finish your words because she only increases her speed at the mention of her name. Now her thick fingers are squelching in and out of you and the sounds are fogging your brain. If it wasn’t for the chirping birds and the huffing horses in the distance, you would’ve forgotten where you were.

“Not yet, just a little longer.” She says— demands even.

You sob out a moan, akin to a tantrum, “I can’t— fuck — I can’t.”

Sevika plants a kiss on the corner of your lips; her fingers refusing to stop hitting your rough spot. “You can, baby. You don’t want me to stop, do you?” She whispers.

She puts up a good point you can’t argue. You don’t want her to stop, you’d hate for her to stop. “N- No, but maybe slow— hnng— d— shit— down?” You bargain half-heartedly in stutters and stammers.

“Where’s the fun in that? And if you come right now, so help me god.” She growls. Yet, the way she’s fucking you is telling you the opposite; there’s a thin line on torture and mind-breaking pleasure she’s crossing and you love it. You try not to love it too much before you explode on the spot.

She can see how much you're trying, squirming, whining with every fast-paced stroke. One word from her and you’d come undone: that’s her favorite part. She extends her free arm, the one propping your leg up, and she puts four fingers on your clit, then rubs it harshly. That does it. You actually can’t hold it anymore unless you want half an orgasm. Your head jerks back and Sevika’s cowboy hat begins to slide off your head. There’s tears in your eyes, your legs are weak and shaking. You need it, you need it bad.

And she gives it to you. “Such a good girl. Go on, come for me.”

Your release hits hard, like a cork popping off a champagne bottle. Your eyes pin shut as it reverberates down to your toes, and courses up your spine. You let out high-pitched, breathy moans, and Sevika harmonizes— not mockingly — soothingly, as she softly rubs out your orgasm. Your underwear falls back in place as she removes her fingers out of you and off of you. You wince and she murmurs an apology with a smug smile.

“Holy shit,” You exhale as your legs fall over Sevika’s thighs. You can feel the air getting warmer, and as your eyes flutter open, the sky is colored a blue only a risen sun could paint. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She replies with a smile.

“Your turn now.”

She laughs heartily, briefly biting her lower lip, “But I thought the breakfast was gonna get cold?”

You grin, “‘That’s what microwaves are for.’”

#sevika #sevika x reader #sevika x you #sevika smut #sevika x y/n #sevika x female reader

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galaxiadecima · 1 year ago

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Just got home and already my dad is ✨mad✨ :’)

#lemons and peaches #drove up from the coast and he mad #this whole weekend was illy planned between him me and my mum tbh #a lot of yes no maybe so and then finally last minute this morning fine I’m driving up because mums #plans on the coast fell through so we played car tag on the free way till we got home #but she was so sweet to pick up penne Alfredo for dad and he’s just #mad???#I don’t understand he came home and he’s pissed off she’s home from the coast early and pissed off about the Alfredo?#I don’t understand #granted his mental health has not been great lately with a lot of his family members passing away and our ENTIRE HOME being on fire #but dude what the fuck??#it hurts to watch him and mom interact sometimes #sometimes it hurts because she can be so introverted and aloof sometimes when he wants to go do things with her #and sometimes when she’s just trying to do something nice or exist and he’s mad at her for no good reason #neither of them communicate well and both of them act like their parents #which is a hashtag not good situation #it’s frustrating and hurts a lot because they both get so excited when Hannah or I finally get a chance to come home from the coast #but then it’s just tense the whole time #and awkward #I miss my family so much I miss us being a family #I miss us all being together and being happy #but then I just feel guilty?#I don’t know anymore

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tojisun · 3 months ago

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the hand that feeds you

— “i take care of her, s’all.”

johnny mactavish x f!reader

cw: 18+ work - minors dni; age difference; daddy issues (kinda the central plot); cooking as a love language; slow burn but in high speed; a breath of angst; power imbalance; canon divergence - regular/non-military life au // amazing divider by @gildui! // 6.5k words

extra notes: this is a very self-indulgent work. there are holes in the plot, 100%, so ignore those holes pretty pls </3 also ik this is more of a captain johnny-verse but midway through, i started projecting so i might’ve written him incorrectly and im really sorry for that!!

being roommates with johnny is not as weird as it is; he’s amicable, at first, then full blown nice when days passed. he’s not loud, per se, but there’s always a constant chatter streaming from his space, like he physically can’t sit still through the silence which is great because you don’t fare any better with the stillness too, so reminiscent of how it was in the suburbs.

you moved to a neighbourhood just skirting past the inner city just because it’s a lot cheaper. but even then, rent was always high and your little box in a rundown complex wasn’t going to sustain you forever even if you wished it would. then, an opening in johnny’s townhouse was posted, almost half-price than whatever is up in the market, and it’s great despite your skepticism. hell, it’s more than great — it’s lifesaving.

your shitty job at the bookstore really can’t cover much of your expenses anymore, and sure student loans and the grant is great, but the growing debt makes you wince so it’s whatever at this point. you’re about to graduate soon anyway, pooling work experience from volunteering and club organizations, and it’s not like you can even go back to how it was.

(underway to law school, primed up before your father’s scrutiny but the burnout got to you before you could even write the LNAT. you realized that being a barrister wasn’t really what you wanted so you changed programs, midway, and switched to children’s education.

god, the disappointment in your pa’s eyes was so big, you knew to pack your shit before he could even kick you out.)

it’s… tough.

god, is it tough. none of your old friends and colleagues could stay in contact, which you don’t hold against them because most of them, by now, have graduated and entered law school. you’re straggling about two years back because of the switch in programs, and everything’s gone too tight. your budget. your social life.

your dating life.

johnny often distracts you from it all — he works in downtown, in one of those high-rise buildings often reserved for limiteds or holding companies, and has to travel off the city every three months. he makes good money, he said jovially, and you know it’s a nudge as to why your portion of the rent is cheap in the first place.

when you finally bit the bullet and asked why he put up one of the rooms in the market, johnny just shrugged and said he needed someone to house sit but sort off permanently. said something like last time he left, the pipes bursted and he couldn’t really fly back to help with the repairs.

it’s great being with him. he’s bright and bubbly, but also dependable in ways you never really thought about. like—

well, it’s all mundane things so listing them feels embarrassing, and it makes you feel as though you’re a touch-starved damsel and johnny just so happened to be the next older man to give you any attention and his time. but you can’t help it. god, you can’t help preen at the way he exists beside you.

he’s just so… beautiful, is what it is.

rugged and charming and loud and filling. the townhouse is too big for the two of you, but johnny makes it work. makes it feel like the two of you just fit into each other’s spaces.

early mornings are spent with him lilting between english and scottish, his exhaustion plastered onto him even after he’s downed two cups of coffee. he bumps his hip onto yours when he ambles out to prepare for his work, grumbling something like good morning and how’re you. afternoons are more lively and productive; it’s of you coming back from campus at six in the evening only to find him in the kitchen, fixing up dinner. it’s always something fancy and rich in flavour; something he always eats with wine on the side.

you, uh, you never thought he could actually cook, let alone feed himself well, but there he was, always a plate ready for you too like it’s expected that you’ll eat dinner with him. like spending time with him was just natural — the sky is blue, the ocean’s deep, and you and johnny fall into each other like there is an invisible string pulling you close to him.

it’s a beautiful change of pace, and there are more days now when you can breathe in a little easier, and you know it’s all because of johnny. it’s all him who pulled you out of your slump and out of that darkness and gave you the room, literally, to grow.

he’s beautiful, but you’ve said that already, haven’t you? he’s just… so good to be with.

then, johnny began picking up and bringing some home.

the first time it happened was shocking, really.

you had an early morning, something that’s so murky now in your memories so you’re unsure if it was anything uni related or work related, just that it was five in the morning and you were clambering downstairs as quietly as you could. you rounded the length of the hallway from the platform to the kitchen when you ran into someone.

“steady,” she’d said, voice hoarse and loud in her shock too.

you yelled, jumping, arms swinging because was there an intruder, and it took johnny physically subduing you for you to calm down. looking back now, you burn in embarrassment, but then you had been so worried, your body wound up so tightly in your fear.

“shh,” johnny had murmured with that wry grin. “s’just me, lass.”

your eyes danced between him and the brunette — pretty even in her rumpled shirt, with long legs and a small waist — trying to understand what was going on. you are sure johnny had told you before that he wasn’t seeing anyone so who—

“your girlfriend?” she asked johnny, turning to him with her lips pursed and her brow cocked up.

the question settled in your stomach, doing wonders to your already-fragile psyche. you’d just spent hours thinking about johnny and what he meant to you; what living with him meant. how it eased up something carved within the trenches of your being, like you’d always been waiting for someone like him.

the question was a reminder, like prickling you with icicles, leaving you to navigate the swoop. but johnny had laughed, nothing mean but so dismissive that you felt the curl of shame brandishing from the base of your spine like johnny was laughing at you.

“oh, nah,” he replied, arm still slung over your shoulders. “she’s sorta my ward, yes? i take care of her, s’all.”

that’s all. you’re nothing more to him but a ward. a tenant. not even a friend—

she hummed, then leaned over to kiss johnny, her eyes still drawn to you like she’s watching, waiting for a reaction, and when she got none, she trudged to the door. you and johnny watched as she bent down to slip in her shoes, some stilettos with red bottoms, before wordlessly disappearing into the darkened morning.

“pretty,” you chirped, trying to break the tension of whatever that was.

johnny laughed in that way that surely crinkled his eyes, only to steer the conversation away by asking why you were up early. you remembered what you had to do and you dived to the kitchen in a flurry, chatting about the deadlines and due dates — so it was a school thing — and johnny just watched, silent, humming, eyes still curved in his glee.

you left no sooner than his… paramour did and, for a while, that was that.

but your semester is coming to a close and your schedule is changing, but so is johnny’s. he’s coming home later and later, but always seemed to offer apologies in the form of easy-to-microwave meals for your dinner. they’re still homemade, probably cooked up in the morning before he left for work, and you’d messaged him to say that he didn’t need to worry about you. that, sure, you came to him amidst financial struggle, juggling work and school, and trying to decide if you would have to starve this month because of rent, but you can cook. for yourself and for him too.

johnny’s face did a terrible thing when you mentioned that in person, the first in a while after things got hectic.

“what,” you bit out, embarrassed.

“nothing,” he said, blinking like he was realizing things he shouldn’t. “s’fun doing things f’r you.”

then he clamped up, spooning soup into his mouth, some of it messily dribbling into his chin. it’s not like you were doing any better, with how your throat closed up at his words, eyes going wide.

it’s been a thing, is what it is, but neither of you two have ever acknowledged that it’s a thing. it’s been a wordless experience — of johnny taking over things when it comes to the house because of course he will, it’s his home, but he always covers things for you too. things you’re sure normal landlords don’t really worry about, but not johnny.

there’s always extra food in the kitchen, extra blankets when the weather dips. there’s even a new cooling machine for the summer even though you know johnny’s room already has an installed air conditioning. he’s even changed the seats in the dining room because he caught you once hitting your hip after an all-nighter on a project.

then, he refurbished the den to make it your office.

“you didn’t have to,” you told him, mind racing at your savings, wondering if he was going to increase your rent.

johnny just shook his head with an almost fond roll of his eyes and clapped your back, arm hovering there. “s’all yers, hen.”

everything he did always accounted for you. so why the women?

they’re all long limbed and trimmed waist, with eyes that sparkled even when all you’ve seen of them is always within the poorly-lit hallway. they have voices that curl teasingly, breathy like they’re enticing johnny for one more night. and they’ve always, always, treated you like a—

like a kid.

a burden, almost, of johnny’s.

and, hell, maybe you are. johnny’s almost twice your age; he’s also already well-established in his career, some senior position that you can’t really follow but one he talks about with fondness. he’s got land rover-money, the car in his garage big and black and almost military grade, and it looks so expensive especially beside the crappy civic you were able to snag for a cheap price because it’s got about three-hundred-thousand mileage already.

you’ve got nothing to give him, other than the lousy rent payment that he doesn’t even really need but is just asking for courtesy because it’d be so weird for him to offer a room, or two now given you have the den too, for free. you’ve got nothing on your name, and if it isn’t pity that makes johnny care for you, then you don’t know what.

maybe his string of one-night stands are right — you are just a kid.

that maybe you really are still too wet behind the ears for the real world that you go running to the next person that could protect you from it, stumbling into his life and licking up every drop of his attention, mistaking his kindness for devotion. his care for love.

you should have known, then, that the thoughts would ripple, leaving you to feel like the days are unnavigable. obsession quickly took root, growing fangs, and it ensnared you; a vice noose at what had been a pleasant coexistence.

hell, you can barely stand being with johnny because of the jealousy. it’s a shameful thing, but a part of you thinks you deserve johnny more than the others do.

you tell yourself that nobody knows about johnny’s nightmares and the horrors that spill from his lips when it’s twelve in the morning and the two of you have hit the bourbon. you tell yourself that nobody knows about johnny’s aversion to the windows in the living room; that the reason why the curtains are a deep green is not to match the new plants he’s allowed you to fill up his home but because they shroud the panels more than the cream ones had. you tell yourself that nobody knows that johnny can sing; that he can cook a mean tomahawk; that he likes reading; that his wrists were hurting so he’s currently scheduled for a surgery; that he’s soft to you.

the women don’t know this johnny, you tell yourself, nails clawing at the hems of your chest. they don’t know him the way i do.

it’s a pathetic whisper. it’s so laughable. so juvenile.

they’re right. they’re right.

(you’re just a—)

“i don’t see you anymore,” johnny murmured one morning, when things have gone quiet again, a cup of coffee sitting on the counter while he watches you throw orange peels into the garburator.

he just got back from a work trip in aberdeen, his exhaustion loud on his face. his hair is overgrown, the bottom ends of his mohawk curling along his nape. he was there for over three weeks, skirting almost close to a month — the longest he’s ever been away — and you had tried so hard not to message. not to drop casual check-ins because you’re sure no tenant ever does that to their landlord, but johnny had remained just as friendly; asking things like if you wanted another potted plant, a monstera or a dragon tree, or if you still had that swiss chocolate he brought home as a gift, or—

the list of his questions grew, but you’ve given him clipped replies, not knowing how to act right anymore since your quiet realization. even the “thing” that you thought you shared with him had fizzled at the drop of the women coming-and-leaving, and you are left to pick up the pieces.

it’s not like you’re broken or ruined or angry. god, no you aren’t.

but you feel unsteady, like now that you know that you liked him more than he liked you, you forgot how to breathe. how to live without that looming burden because your affection is nothing but a burden.

what will johnny do if he finds out? you can’t afford a new place to move into, not when you’re so close to graduating, the finish line just about to graze your very fingertips with how near it is. money is still tight, and johnny has already spoiled you rotten. has shown you how it is to live a comfortable life. and if he learns of your feelings, you would lose this. more than anything, you would lose him.

so you detached yourself from the noose, curling into yourself and using his work trip as a way to move on.

jesus — move on, huh? like there was a ‘you and johnny’ to even move on from. like there was anything there to read. like there was anything there to pull away from; twitching fingers drawing back into the spaces of your ribs, tucking yourself away from his warmth.

“i’ve been so busy, john,” you muttered, just as tired.

“yeah?” he said, still light. still jovial. “let me cook something nice for ye, huh? reward yer hard work and all.”

“i can’t.” you swallowed down the prickle lodged in your throat, eyes ducking away to avoid seeing his. “i’ve got a meeting with the club.”

(you missed the way johnny’s smile dipped.)

“oh,” he said.

you shrugged, internally wincing at your weak attempt at being normal, before gathering your thermos and your messily-wrapped sandwich. johnny was still standing by the counters when you turned around from the sink, his bulk so close to yours in ages. it had been so long since you could just reach over and feel his warmth; feel the soft pudge of what once were hardened muscles.

he’s looking at you with such sad eyes that it’s jarring to truly see because he’s looking at you like—

like he’s losing you.

“i’m gonna…” you trailed off, not really knowing how to end this truly awkward interaction.

“yeah, f’course,” he croaked out. “take care of yerself huh, lass?”

“thanks.” the smile on your face felt more like a grimace. “see you.”

he said nothing more after that, his eyes still searching; still furrowed like something’s changed and something’s happening, and it made your stomach drop because please. please don’t let him notice.

but johnny just watched as you went, his coffee all forgotten.

(something bloomed in the soft press of your heart, flickering like a young ember. you’ve never realized how longing could feel like your mouth is stuffed with cotton.)

johnny hasn't picked up since his return from aberdeen.

they’re getting a new firm so the shuffling has been brutal, leaving johnny to clamber out at five in the morning before coming back home when it’s pushing 11pm. the scruff on his face is becoming more unkempt, salt and pepper becoming more intense, but even then, he’s never looked more ruggedly beautiful as he is now.

it’s like he’s aged years and you shouldn’t be reacting so strongly to the change, but looking at johnny now makes you ache in a different way — core throbbing, throat parched and eyes stinging as you watch him. you’re so drawn to his gravitational pull, unable to detangle yourself now that it feels like he’s more back in your life than he ever was.

and you know it’ll end up hurting you. that you’ll go back to isolating yourself at the drop of a new girl in the house, the smell of her chanel or bvlgari perfume filling up the crevices that you’ve dutifully dusted every saturday morning while johnny’s out for a run. he’s made having casual lovers a cycle, one that you cannot blame him for because johnny doesn’t like you back.

but johnny’s been so attentive to you these days. he’s been a hovering presence even when he looks like he’s one blown wind away from passing out in his exhaustion, his warm hand always on the small of your back as he walks you to the door before chirping a hearty, “kick ass, bon!”

he’s back to fixing up food for you, like that blip in your schedule got him all creative because now, it’s not even just dinner. you’ve got breakfast waiting for you in the microwave, and packed lunch already in your bag, carefully tucked beside the manila folders and plastic envelopes for your capstone. it’s like he’s making up for something which is dumb and wrong because now, you’re all swooping stomach and prickling lungs.

“yummy?” johnny asked, catching you wriggling in excitement at the flavour bursting into your tongue.

your cheeks tingled, feverish, before giving him a shy nod.

he huffed, something so achingly fond, and rested his chin atop his crossed arms. you didn’t know what to focus on — the scruff on his face or the hard lines of webbing veins spilling from beneath his folded sleeves. then, he crooned, “good. that’s good.”

you ran upstairs to your room, throwing an excuse about finishing up your paper, before locking the door, and feeding your cunt two fingers to satiate the burn. the stretch was delicious, raw and sweet, and you humped your wrist, trying to douse the flames burning you up.

you thought of johnny, of the way he looked and how much nicer he’s been; of johnny and the way he was so kind to you, so caring like you’re up in his priority list again, overtaking his busy schedule and the firm restructuring, and his needs.

your orgasm felt like a ripping of reality, your mind splintering at the edges as you’re stretched thin. it felt like you’ve been pulled taut, then released with a resounding snap. it felt euphoric, like the explosion of something intoxicating. something wickedly addicting.

you knew that this could never be unmade. your affections had grown their tendrils, curling past the quiet admiration and spiralling into something unforgiving. into something greater than yourself.

“fuck,” you had rasped out, eyes prickling with tears as shame rushed into your chest. “fuck.”

you didn’t need this. you didn’t need any of this.

but it becomes a cycle — wash, rinse, repeat.

johnny continues to go unshaven; continues to pour his attention to you. and you soak it up, needy and soft, unable to turn away with your tail tucked between your legs. you fall back to the ease of how it had been, hip bumping his, morning coffee shared in the silence, dinner a filling affair once more. all that’s changed are the lingering looks, the resonating touches.

how johnny’s wide hand falls to the small of your back more often; how his fingers just slots against yours every time he passes you your cup; how his eyes rove over your face, always searching for something you dare not hope for.

the last time he flicked his eyes down to watch the way your tongue lapped at your lips, swiping away at the extra cream, johnny’s pupils had constricted before a quiet groan rumbled from his throat. your thighs had quickly clenched close as heat exploded in the pit of your belly, spreading like wildfire through your veins. the pressure on your nub made you hiccup, like a whine dragging itself from your trachea, and johnny had snapped his eyes back to yours so quickly, it made you heady.

“bon–”

“i have to go,” you murmured, clamouring to shaky legs.

you fucked yourself to a deafening point once more, ears ringing as you squirted, the gush of your slick pushing past your fingers. you had to gnash your pillow cover to muffle the moan rumbling from the base of your throat, trying desperately to be good. to not be heard. to be better.

but johnny’s burning gaze on your lips was seared into your memory, blazing on top of everything, and you imagined—

god, you imagined.

the way he’ll take you — beard rough on your chin, thicker fingers spreading you wider, reaching deeper, before finally filling you up with all of him, bullying the whole length of his cock until he bottoms out.

you pressed on your stomach, dizzy, thinking about how johnny would hit that far. you know he would. the women he’s slept with have told you, anyway, in passing, describing how he was in bed with dreamy sighs like they weren’t still reeking of sex and johnny’s aftershave.

(you still wonder why so many of them were mean, their noses tipped up every time they saw you. they were the ones that johnny chose, the ones who were fortunate enough to have been his lover, so you wonder why they still sought you out like you were competition.)

“johnnyyyy!” you moaned, loud and long, your fingers prodding at your walls, and you knew that you’d regret the wrangled cry later, but you didn’t care then, too busy swimming in the aftermath of your orgasm.

but johnny heard it anyway.

he told you that he had heard you.

it happened so quickly — one moment you were bent over the espresso machine, fiddling with the levers with bleary-eyed attempts, then the next thing you knew was that johnny was crowding you, trapping you between the warm bulk of his body and the counter, his eyes furrowed so deeply which made the lines on his forehead run much deeper.

“whu’?” you asked, blinking tiredly at him.

johnny just did this shaky breath that rattled his whole body, like he was propped up by a couple of sticks instead of his whole mass. the mood shifted with that weak inhale though, and you turned to fully face him, ignoring the beeping machine because johnny was still looking at you with those eyes.

the ones that made you feel seen, read, and laid bare before him. like he could weave his eyes past the fabrics of your shirt to peek into the very jagged shards of your heart and see the cross that you’ve been carrying. like he knew things about you that he shouldn’t.

“johnny?” you prodded again, finding his silence alarming.

“yer too young for me, m’eudail,” johnny finally rumbled out, voice thick and deep.

and it’s—

what.

your mind was pressing into your skull, trying desperately to link your synapses together; for the fog to clear and for your coherence to rise above the pull of drowsiness, but johnny was faster. like now that he’s said the first words, the rest just follow, unstoppable in their force and in their meaning.

“i told myself i couldn’t,” he murmured, still breathing shakily; gaze still too fragile. “that yer lookin’ for nothin’ like me, and that yer just tryin’ to get out there with yer career.”

he lifted a hand, fingers twitching, before balling it back down to a fist.

“told myself i’ve gotta let go. found a way to cope and shit.”

johnny took another ragged breath in, and it startled you into gulping one of your own — you didn’t even realize that you’ve held your breath as he spoke to you, your chest clenching tightly as your mind began to link the passageways together, filling you in on what he wasn’t really saying.

“but carin’ f’you was so easy. christ, it was even delightful, hen.” he chuckled, something that was somewhat raw and pained.

you licked at your lips, blinking wide eyes open. johnny tracked the movement, his nose flaring like you’ve done something more than a subconscious thing, his shoulders going taut.

“i like doing all sorta things for you. liked seeing y’eat what i cooked; liked seeing y’use what i got f’you. liked watching y’come home to me. to me.”

a soft sound echoed between the two of you, and it took you an embarrassingly long time to realize that it was a breathless whimper that petered out from the base of your throat. you didn’t even realize that you’ve curled into yourself, almost like you’re trying your best to shrink before johnny, and johnny crooned.

callused palm cupped the round of your cheek, his thumb swiping just underneath your eye. “told myself yer too young; that surely yer looking for someone closer to yer age, but bon, i heard y’last night.”

you startled in his hold, a quiet gasp piercing through the heat. johnny’s lips danced with mirth.

“s’right. heard a loud thump against the wall and ran upstairs, all worried, but guess my surprise, yes? y’were moanin’ my name so loudly, it’s like y’left yer door open.”

“johnny, i–”

“tell me,” he said, moving closer, his chest pressing against yours. “tell me t’stop, bon, an’ i will. but y’ve got to tell me. y’ve got to push me away.”

you looked at him, your eyes trembling at what he was laying out thickly, and your throat going parched at the blanketing desire rippling from him. there were so many things you wanted to ask, but his breath was tickling the bridge of your nose, dancing so close to the bow of your lips, and your heart ached.

desire coursed through you in waves, dribbling from the cup, and you lurched forward, chasing after his lips.

johnny melted into you. his hesitant touch turned greedier, more possessive, mapping your body and pulling you closer into him. his mouth devoured your own, gulping down the pleased little sighs and keens spilling from your lips. he kissed like a man starved, but you weren’t any softer; all nippy and desperate, fingers digging into his hair and fisting at the thin strands.

it was feverish, almost to a boiling point, and you needed more.

god, you needed more.

“johnny,” you mewled when he pulled away just enough to slide his damp lips along the cut of your jaw. “johnny, need you.”

“christ,” johnny sounded so wrecked, his voice rumbling deeply from where his lips were suckling on the soft curve of your neck. “i’ve been dreaming of this, mo luaidh. i knew i shouldn’t but yer so sweet to me and i– i wanted.” he said that word like it was dirty; like he’d been fighting tooth-and-nail to suppress it.

it made you tremble to hear how johnny desired you just as much. he had always felt unobtainable; always danced too far from your grasp and was always bigger than what you knew you could handle — his lovers had always looked divinely; pretty, yes, but fierce in their own right like they knew how to live without johnny; and you know they could, because they didn’t need johnny the way you do. they didn’t look at johnny like you do, like he hung the stars with those thick and aged hands of his.

but as you stood there, feeling every word punctured onto your skin, you couldn’t help but begin to cry, the tears springing from your eyes to slip down your cheeks. johnny rubbed your back, soothing and gentle.

“i wanted t’take you – make y’all mine,” he whispered.

you hiccuped, shaky from the weight of your hunger, and nuzzled close. your hands fell from fisting his hair so you could claw at the sharp corners of his shoulder blades, feeling the muscles there rippling, all taut when he bent forward and kissed you.

“please,” you began, feeling your mind thinning because you wanted more. more. more. more. “i can be– johnny, s’always been you. nobody else but you.”

you tugged him away, cupping his jaw and forcing him to look at you. and god, johnny looked so devastatingly beautiful, his eyes all furrowed and his cheeks all flushed, and his lips spit-sheened.

“fuck me,” you whispered, tired of dancing around.

he groaned, something that sounded so pained, before he was tugging you with him, up the stairs and skirting past your room and into his.

you’ve never been in johnny’s room before, just as he had never been in yours since you moved in, and until now you still don’t know what you had been expecting upon walking in, but the smell of johnny wafting through was almost gut-punching. he smelled so close, like he was everywhere — surrounding you from the ground-up, dousing every pore with him until even your mouth felt full.

and johnny, he smelt like home.

there were no more words uttered as he stripped you off your pyjamas, sure fingers making their way down the buttons, unlatching them from the hemmed slits. you watched with heavy eyes, blinking slowly like everything had been wrung out of you, leaving you pliant and soft. johnny hummed, appreciative, and mapped kisses from your heaving chest, teeth nipping at the fat, before moving on, sprinkling every expanse of your skin with such reverence.

your hands were balled to your chest when he reached the jut of your belly, his chin hovering just above your crotch. johnny flicked up his darkened eyes at you, asking silently.

you gave him a nod, not trusting your own voice too.

johnny’s eyes had turned into slits, pleased, and hefted himself up just enough to be able to fit his hands on your hips and tugged your pants down. you shivered, the warmth in his room not enough to suppress the winter chill, and it made you buck into him. johnny comforted you with a quiet shh, rubbing his palm on the pudge of your thigh in soothing circles.

you don’t know why that touch was what did it for you, but soft sobs finally spilled from your mouth, scrunching up the desire into something undeniably frail. johnny didn’t startle though, like he knew that you had been wounding up to this tipping point, and instead continued to touch you tenderly, almost like if he could, he would cradle you close.

“i love you,” you said, sniffling, because that was the crux of your vulnerability, right?

you love him. god, you love him.

you’ve loved him since the day he sat you down for dinner and told you that you’ve got nothing to worry about, not anymore and not with him around. you’ve loved him since the day he flipped the den so you can have your own space for work; don’t mind the fact that he didn’t know if you were going to even stay, just that he insisted that you deserved that room either way. you’ve loved him since that swiss chocolate, since that cup of coffee, since he’s begun filling your painfully lonely days with his care.

you’ve loved him since and now—

“oh, mo graidh,” johnny breathed out. “i love you too.” he kissed your thigh, scruff ticklish. “gu siorraidh is gu brath.”

you wanted to ask what that meant but johnny was already moving, sitting back up to strip out of his own shirt. you trailed your eyes down his body, capturing your trembling lips between your teeth at how breathtaking he was — soft with fat but still heavy with muscles, fuzzy with hair with the smattering pooling just underneath his belly button before trailing down to where they were hidden underneath his pants.

you twitched before finally braving enough to reach out and brush your knuckle over the indents of his softened abs. johnny hummed, something that curled with appreciation, before covering your hand with his and holding it there.

“all of me s’yers, hen,” he said with such finality that you felt it settle deep within the marrows of your bones.

you nodded, emotionally spent and johnny lilted something else in scottish, so soft that it was almost a croon. you let him manhandle you — pushing your hips up so he could slot a pillow under for your back; you were so malleable to his touch as he took over, bending once again for a kiss while his fingers danced past the laces of your panties and into the damp heat of your pussy.

you moaned, eyelashes fluttering when he pressed one in, so careful and slow, but you were so wet that it slid in with no resistance, gobbling it up knuckle-deep. johnny had groaned like he could feel your rising euphoria, before nosing along your temple as he wiggled the finger around, stroking at your walls. you wondered if he was going to tease but then he was pulling it out, only to plunge two in the next thrust, curling and stretching, and oh—

oh, ssss’good.

you don’t even remember how long he’d been spearing you with his thicker fingers, rough and long and reaching far, far deeper than you could with your own, but you laid there, sobbing, feeling your slick slip out, pooling, making a mess of your thighs and his sheets. johnny had moved from suckling on your neck to taking a nipple in his mouth, teeth softly gnashing at the bud. you felt like you were on fire, burning from your core, aching for a release.

“cum f’me, m’eudail,” johnny groaned, breathless himself, his cock poking underneath his boxers, the fabric all wet from where his tip was, leaking pearled pre-. “let me see you.”

“johnny, i’m gonna– i’m–!” you squealed, legs jumping, squeezing johnny’s sides as you jolted, hips twitching at the bloating ecstasy. johnny just pushed down on your thigh, not letting up with the pace of his fingers. he was fucking you so hard that his hand’s slapping against your skin, his palm grinding down on your clit just right, and the pleasure sizzled into something biting. into something that was almost painful.

it was catastrophic, pulling you into two directions. johnny’s everywhere — his scent in your lungs, his fingers deep in your pussy, his mouth hot and wet on your tits, and like this, like this, you felt yourself breaking.

ripping—

then, your orgasm was punched out of you.

your senses had gone awry — throat throbbing as you cried out, your eyes going blind as they rolled into your skull at the final curl of johnny’s fingers. white noise filled your ears, and it was like you were submerged underneath water, wading through the crashing tides of your climax.

you came back to johnny peppering your face with soft kisses, whispering something you couldn’t decipher past the croon of your name and something like you did good and so beautiful. he’d already pulled his fingers out, and used both arms to cradle you close. you felt so empty — god, that wasn’t even his cock, yet — but your body thrummed pleasantly, almost like the itch was finally scratched.

“johnny?” you puffed out, voice all scratchy and weak.

“i’m here, bon. i’m here.”

you hummed, curling into his chest, head pillowed by his arm. you wanted to ask what about his own euphoria, but johnny seemed so content just laying there with you, not really desperate or needy, so you let it go, losing the battle against your drowsiness before finally slipping into a quiet sleep.

johnny’s there for your graduation, carrying a big bouquet of only eden roses. you didn’t even know that those particular ones were expensive until someone from the graduation party oohed and aahed to their friend.

your cheeks burned when their friend chirped, “well someone’s clearly loved.”

you know that what they said would have had johnny agreeing loudly if he was allowed in the lineup because he is never one to be shy about what he feels; or not anymore, anyway. he loves so fully and openly that you still wonder why it took the two of you so long to get together, but the days since then had just been kind and filling that you have long forgotten how it was to not be with him.

they’re going to call your name soon, and your stomach swoops, excitement and anxiety mixing in a dizzying tandem.

you’re graduating with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a diploma in early childhood education, and this is not where you thought you would be when you first started university, but it’s the happiest you have ever been. and sure much of your poli-sci courses were scrapped when you changed majors, and that’s also a lot of money wasted, but you have three job opportunities lined up already and it’s like the seismic shift in your life had finally corrected itself.

(your mom said she’s sorry that she and your pa couldn’t come, but you’ve stopped longing for their acceptance and told her it was fine.

there’s a date saved in your calendar, though, for a brunch with her and that was enough.)

you ducked into johnny’s arms when the graduation ceremony ended, careful of the bouquet he’s holding.

“congratulations, bonnie,” he says, a hearty laugh rumbling from his chest. “christ, i’m so, so proud of you.”

you never pegged yourself for a crybaby, but tears begin to pool in the corners of your eyes at the weight of his words.

“thank you,” you reply, soft and raw, and honest.

johnny pulls you in, his lips warm as they’re pressed on your forehead.

and this, just like this, you know things will only get better from here on out.

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