#it’s so frustrating i feel as if i will nvr get better

[angelstrawbabie420]

are my extreme mood swings due to my pmdd, audhd, cptsd, or is it bipolar: i will never know and all i do is confuse my therapists

[fujimiiiya]

im always confused about people who harass and bully when its easier to just block users who enjoy ships and taboos they don’t like or are uncomfortable with. i personally take no offense to that. i think its more respectful and safer for everyone. i know it can hurt sometimes but being attacked hurts more smhh

Imo it's useless to try to understand why they prefer to act like jerks to strangers bcs they are, like you said, harasser and bully in their core, while we are not. Another thing is they have too much free time on their hands but not much exciting things happen in their lives so they need smth to do or distract themselves from reality, and what they choose is to be lowlives hiding behind online anonymity bcs it's relatively safe. They won't get real lawsuits for online insults, right? The most they can get is being reported, (if the assaulted even care enough or take them seriously enough) and lose their free account, which they can always make a new one. It's a cowardice act and ppl who actually know better and have better moral grounds than what these harassers always preach about won't do. It's totally not worth to even regard them, ppl who choose to insult real person over fictional characters, that alone makes their logic automatically questionable, bcs there are more important matters out there than defending fictional characters that will nvr say thanks to them anyway.

There's a lot of plausible underlying causes:

1. they could be ppl with lots of RL problems, frustrated, or even oppressed ppl irl who can't act how they really want so they need some kind of outlet to vent and thus they act like some righteous thugs.

2. They try to cover their insecurity, low self-esteem, or inferiority complex by acting aggresive. By harassing others who they think are 'immorals' about fiction, they get some sorta self-validation, satisfaction, no matter how vain and petty it is, that they are the ones who are right and thus superior ones.

When it comes to ship wars, those who are deliberately shitting on the ships or shippers themselves most of the times can actually due to some degree of them being insecure abt their own ships, but they'd try hard to deny it with all their might. If they are confident abt their own faves or ships, they wouldn't focus on characters or ships they hate...or again, they have too much useless free time on their hands.

3. They try to find chances, thinking that by harassing those who like certain ships or the content creators for those ships continuosly, they will be discouraged or prevent others who are about to like the ship to be hesitant to show their love due to the drama, so the ships will look like they are less popular. This, I'm sure, is the case w/ some of popular ships that they deem as "problematic". However, we already know that it actually has reverse psychology effect, as the more we are harassed, the stronger mentality we have and the more we wanna show how valid and loved our ships are by creating more fanworks about them. Because we don't care what they say.

Now don't get me wrong. I do understand why some people dislike certain ships. I'm not trying to invalidate their personal reasons behind them. Fiction can indeed trigger some trauma or bad memories for others. Or you can simply dislike the ship bcs it's lame. I myself have so many landmines and dislikes when it comes to ships, or even tropes within my own ships. But I won't bother focusing on them, let alone spending time to interact w/ the posts I hate. I will just surround myself w/ things I like, with like-minded peeps. That's what makes us different from them.

Tldr; When the antis think it's alright to insult the shippers it's when they are no longer to be taken seriously and engaging w/ them has no point anymore. I think you don't even need to feel hurt about it. We should actually pity them bcs those who are fueled by negativity, must be surrounded by negativity too on daily basis hence that's what they know how to do. Trust me, someone who are surrounded by positivity and love irl, or want it that way, won't deliberately act like pricks or hate others over these trivial matters. It's their pettiness talking. Regardless, they still want you to think they are superior. Pity them and be the bigger person and don't let them drag you to step down to their low level.

[boognish-worshipper]

ok so like i had this idea for a while n it took me MONTHS to finish bc i was nvr content w/ my writing n whatnot yadda yadda yadda anyway,, this is basically a what if thing about the triads shooting trevor in ludendorff n michael realizing how dumb he is

(my apologies that it’s so fuckin looooooong but I didn’t wanna leave it on a short note that felt incomplete. hope y’all like it !!!!! sorry for any grammatical errors or if the formatting’s funky)

//

Why didn’t he realize it sooner? Was he stupid? No, no. He was just blind. Blind for the past 10 years. Who knows. Maybe even longer than that. Fucking Michael. It always came back to that venomous shithead, constantly ruining everything for him. Did he just... forget? Was he so focused on that bloodsucker when he was “dying” in front of him he completely forgot Brad got shot first? That Brad died first? He didn’t even really think about him when shit went down. Or care much about Brad in general for that matter. The guy was a dick who just worked with other dicks back in the day, eventually joining their motley crew. A fading memory more than anything. His primary focus had always been Michael, who he thought was his right hand man. Trevor always knew that there was something different about him. As frustrating as Michael could be, it still didn’t change how he felt deep down. Michael wasn’t like the others. Or at least, that’s what he had thought. The night he found out that Michael’s lie ran deeper than he led on was one he wouldn’t forget.

He arrived at Michael’s house in a short amount of time. Hopping up the steps he made his presence known, standing in the entrance of the living room. He plopped down next to Michael, who scooted away from him slightly, still not ready for close contact from Trevor.

“Family ain’t back yet, huh?”

“Nope.”

“She’s a Goddamn fool, man.”

Trevor was never one to hide his jealousy towards Amanda. The two had been going at it for years, and it was always regarding Michael. Catty behavior between two people who had complicated relationships with the man, in their own unique ways. Amanda was scared of Trevor, but was never afraid of talking shit to his face. It was never any serious threats whenever they shot petty quips at one another anyway. She knew Trevor would never kill or harm her, all thanks to Michael, who spoke up again.

“Despite all the chaos of these last few weeks, I think I finally figured it out… I know, it sounds ridiculous-“

To Trevor, the thought wasn’t ridiculous. He knew Michael would never change. He would always be a killer, a man of action through and through. He was wasting away on a couch, rewatching classic Vinewood every night. To him, it only seemed right for Michael to keep taking scores.

“You’re back man!” He proclaimed, emphasizing his next line, “We are back!”

With excitement in his eyes, Trevor went on to boast about the little clique they had formed, and how they only needed to bust Brad out to fully reunite. Michael looked solemn, shaking his head slightly.

“That’s not it. I got money, it just makes you miserable-“ Now it was his turn to have excitement shine in his eyes.

“I wanna make movies.”

“Great. That’s great… and uh, so where exactly does this leave me in the second act of your life?”

He felt his stomach sink somewhat, regretting having asked that question. Michael would always tiptoe around it, avoiding the inevitable. But he couldn’t run from the past anymore. It would always catch up to him.

“This is not a game to me! Alright? This is a fuckin’ way of life.”

“I got a fuckin’ family!”

“Yeah, well, I got nothin’! No one gives a fuck about me!”

There was a pause. A hesitation. Amber eyes looked sorrowfully yet savagely into pale blue ones.

“I do.”

Something in Trevor snapped hearing those words. He couldn’t stand the audacity of Michael saying that to him. Because to him, Michael didn’t seem to give a fuck about what happened to Trevor. No matter how many times he lamented to him about everything he went through.

“Oh… Fuck you.”

Trevor rose from his seat, beginning to pace around the room, stabbing a finger in Michael’s direction. He did nothing but stare between his feet, not bothering to look up at Trevor.

“I saw your grave. I mourned you. And then it turns out that everything I fucking thought about you was wrong. Everything! You’re not dead, and you’re not a man.”

Michael shot up from his seat, cool demeanor abandoned in a fit of anger.

“Well, what the fuck are you?”

“I’m your fucking nightmare!”

“Yeah, enough with your Goddamn threats!”

Trevor did nothing but scoff at him, backing away like he was about to leave the room. Instead, some kind of alarm went off in his head, urging him to stay and ask the question he pushed far into the back of his mind. The inevitable was happening, and he couldn’t ignore the need to ask anymore. If Michael himself stood before him alive as ever, then who the fuck was in Michael Townley’s grave? Then suddenly, and ultimately, it clicked for him. Fucking Brad.

“You treacherous piece of shit! You’re fuckin’ dead! You’re fucking dead!”

As it clicked for Trevor, it clicked for Michael.

“Oh, fuck! Trevor! Hey, T!”

He peeled out of the driveway in Michael’s car. God, it smelled just like that fucking prick. It made him want to cry.

“Fuck!” He screamed out to no one in particular.

He slammed on the gas and wiped away any forming tears. His phone began to ring and he saw an all too familiar photo appear. Michael. What the fuck could he possibly say or want right now?

“Fuck you.” He spat out.

“Hey, come on. Where you going?”

“You know where I’m going, fuck you!”

The fucking nerve of him to ask that. What was wrong with him? The rest of the conversation wasn’t any better. It sounded like some stupid break up between two teens, as if Michael had cheated on him with some hooker instead of lying about the past decade or so.

“Trevor, come on!”

“Fuck you Michael! Soon enough, I will.”

He was on his way to the air field, and dialed up Ron as soon as he could. He needed to get out of here before Michael could stop him.

“Trevor? It’s great to uh..”

“Is there a plane I can use? Get me across country?”

“Sure! Sure. We got one fueled up for a trip south of the border.”

“I’m taking it.”

“Is everything okay, man?”

“Everything is not okay. Nothing has ever been okay but I’m going up there to see it for myself. I’m going to see an old friend alright? If you’re where I think you are buddy...”

Trevor gripped the steering wheel harder until his knuckles turned white. Tears stung his eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to let it out.

“I don’t know why I didn’t see it. I guess.. I guess I didn’t want to. Fuck!”

He clutched his phone tightly as he spoke, cracking the already shattered screen more. His voice was faltering, and it became harder to speak clearly.

“Maybe I knew all along. I’m gonna find out for sure and I’m gonna... do something about it! God there was always something wrong with that job, what went down after I guess I-“

The tears made their way down his face. His voice trembled and threatened to crack.

“I guess I wanted to believe- Fucking.. Fucking flea circus!”

He couldn’t hold it in any longer. Too many things began to resurface. Seeing red, he just cried out to Ron, still on the phone patiently listening to him rant.

“Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

“I’m sorry Trevor...”

He slammed on the gas as he approached the airfield. Running over to the plane, he hopped in and began his journey to Ludendorff. As he left, storm clouds poured in and darkened the sky. A thick rain accompanied by the thunder and lighting combo shook the small plane he was in. He braced himself for the rest of the trip there and kept going.

Ludendorff was just like he remembered. Cold, empty, and super fucking depressing. Why was the midwest like this all the time? Sure, living it up in Sandy Shores wasn’t the most ideal but for fucks sake, at least it was warm. He pulled up to the cemetery shortly after landing, and hurried off to find that God forsaken grave. After glancing at each passing gravestone, there it was. The late great Michael Townley’s place of burial.

“Who you got in here..?”

He scoffed, knowing his answer.

“As if I need to ask...”

It took forever to reach the coffin. The wood was brittle, which meant it would be easy enough to pry open and see who was actually in Michael’s place. He had been so caught up in his digging he didn’t notice a set of steps coming at him.

“You’re wasting your time.”

Trevor was wasting his time? No, he was making perfectly good use of it. Michael was wasting his if anything. Flying all the way out here for what? No, don’t say it... Was it finally gonna happen? Was Michael waiting for the opportunity to finally take a pop at him and leave his carcass for good? To toss him right into the grave with Brad? He didn’t want to believe so but hey, it’s Michael. Who knows what he’ll do. He couldn’t bear to listen to another word that came out of his mouth, and knew he needed to get the jump on him.

“You reptilian motherfucker!”

How did it end up here? Why was he pointing a gun at Michael? What the fuck was he doing? He didn’t want to kill him. He never did, even if he had a million justifiable reasons to.

“I didn’t want it to have to come to this.”

There it was again. The fucking lying. That same exact fucking lying that got them here to begin with.

“Yes you did! You just don’t have the fucking balls to do it! But I do!”

But Trevor was also a hypocrite. He didn’t have it in him to ever go through with killing Michael. No matter what the son of a bitch did to him, he meant too much to Trevor for him to ever consider killing the man himself. He didn’t want to think about being the cause of him dying for good.

“I’ve got more to lose than you!”

“Never a truer word has been spoken, brother.”

He said that with as much malice as he could muster. Michael was the farthest fucking thing from being a brother. This was a man he had loved. Hell, still loved, despite it feeling more and more like a stranger before him with each encounter they had.

“Now.. pull the fucking trigger.”

The air was too still. It was choking him, making him feel frozen. Sure, weather played a part in the feeling but this... was different. His blood felt like ice. He couldn’t do it.

“You ain’t got the guts.”

Neither of them could do it. Even if he fired he knew he’d miss. Michael had the upper hand here.

“Take the fucking shot!”

Wait. Was Michael... crying? No. No way the great Michael fucking Townley was actually crying over this. That motherfucker. He’s such a fucking fraud. A coward. Always running. Running from Trevor, his past, his problems, his family and his fucking emotions.

His train of thought had been interrupted when he heard snow faintly crunching not too far from them.

“What was that?-“

A noise shot through the tense air that surrounded them. Woosh. Fuck. No. It couldn’t be- Ow. No. No fucking way. He looked down in awe and there it was, a distinct bullet hole, pierced through his torso. It nearly missed his heart, but was most certainly in a spot to do enough damage to him. He looked back up at Michael, mouth slightly agape leaking with the blood that began to pool in his mouth. Peaking behind him, he saw two figures lingering far behind. The fucking Triads. Of course, how could he forget? It’s not everyday you slam the head of a Chinese mobster’s son into a post. Fucking shit. If only he hadn’t messed with Tao…

He was fucked, and he didn’t know what to do. All he knew was that he felt himself wanting to collapse on the ground. Michael looked at him in pure disbelief, eyes wide enough to pop from his head. Normally Trevor would giggle at the sight, but any noise from him would be a gurgle of blood in place of it.

“…Trevor?”

That was enough to knock him to the ground.

“Mr. Phillips! Mr. Cheng wants a word with you!”

Michael whipped his head back, and began dragging the two of them to cover. Was that supposed to be a fucking warning shot?? The one who shot Trevor spoke in Chinese to the other gunman, then spoke in English to the duo.

“Phillips! You and your boyfriend cannot hide from us!”

Michael grabbed his gun and started firing back, clipping the two in the front instantly.

“Trevor… what the fuck did you get into?! What are they on about? I… I’m not…”

Trevor couldn’t speak. He could only murmur at the man beside him.

“Trevor, seriously, you better answer me because I’m pretty fucking lost here-“

He angrily turned his head back to find Trevor on the verge of slipping out of consciousness, his face dropping at what was before him.

“Ah, Trevor! Shit!”

Before Michael could help him out, a van burst through the gate to the left, and more yelling ensued.

“Get out the van! Go find them!”

Michael panicked, pushing his gun into Trevor’s limp hands so he could grab the dead Triad henchman’s sturdier gun. He fired and clipped a few more men, trying his best to keep an eye on Trevor. His breathing was shallow, and he attempted to prop himself up so he could fire at them too.

“Trevor, what the fuck is going on? Who are these guys?”

“It’s the fucking,” He winced, pushing himself onto his knees so he could grab the side of the grave they hid behind. He spit out some blood that leaked from his mouth, staining the snow beneath them.

“The God damn Chinese, sugar tits.”

“Why are they-“

“Ask questions later, I’m fucking bleeding out here.”

Trevor forced himself to fully stand, his legs wobbling slightly. He fired a few more rounds, face contorted in pain. Another bullet flew by him, grazing his side.

“Fuck! Ow!” He growled.

“T, what in the hell are you doing?! Get down!”

“Fuck off you fucking leech! I can-“ He spit out more blood.

“I can handle this myself!”

He groaned, keeping his aim as still as he possibly could, which wasn’t very still at all. Stubborn as ever, Trevor went in guns blazing. He used not only the gun Michael had forced into his hands, but also the one he had brought with him. Several more shots fired at him until he felt a hand yank him back to the ground. He fell with a slight thump, and pain jolted through him again.

“You crazy bastard! We’re getting the fuck out of here, but that can’t exactly be accomplished if you’re dead!”

“Oh please! You already want me dead you fat fucking snake!” He wheezed out.

“Jesus Christ- Trevor. I already told you-“

“Shit, Mikey-”

Before either one could do anything about it, a Triad that had snuck up on them pistol whipped Michael in the back of the head. Trevor scrambled backwards and attempted to get on his feet, but to no avail. In a last minute effort, he lifted Michael’s gun and fired. For someone who was labeled a lousy shot by his partner, he felt that Michael would’ve been proud of his aim at that moment in time. A clean shot, right between the fucker’s eyes. He grinned slightly, adrenaline still coursing through him. He barked out a laugh, forgetting how much of a chore it was to allow any noise to escape him. It caused him to break into a coughing fit, spitting up more blood onto the snow. He looked from the small circle of blood that formed in front of him, back to Michael’s limp body. He shoved him slightly, trying to nudge him back into consciousness.

“Mikey. Michael. Get up. We gotta go like you said-“

He heard another van pull up. Then another. Fuck.

“You gotta be shitting me..”

Trevor, disregarding his wounds weakening him to the point his vision grew spotty, swapped his handgun for the gun Michael grabbed. He tried his best to prop the other man up against a grave, well out of the Triad’s line of sight. He pushed through any pain he felt, still riding his adrenaline high, wiping the rest of them out one by one. He rushed back over to Michael, who was stirring awake.

“Michael, for fucks sake get up already! Jesus I’m still fucking bleeding and I have to save your ass right now? Come on!”

He was finally able to stand, and Trevor slung Michael’s arm around his shoulder, helping him regain his balance. They helped one another walk through the mess of snow, blood, and bodies to get to the rental car, which surprisingly was still in alright shape. Across the train tracks, one more van started to pull up, right before the nightly train passed through town.

“Haha! Thank you train for being useful this time!”

He forgot how much it hurt to laugh, clutching his side and muttering curses under his breath as the two raced over to the car. Michael hopped in the driver’s seat after placing Trevor in the passenger’s side. Trevor’s adrenaline rush began to die down along with the rest of him. Michael raced out of the cemetery, narrowly escaping the left over henchmen. Glancing over at Trevor, he realized how shit of a shape he was in. Despite not living in North Yankton in close to 10 years, he still remembered where all the nearby hospitals were. It wasn’t ideal, considering what they were doing up there and who they were and what not, but it was better than having Trevor die on the spot.

“Hey, don’t you fucking die on me right now buddy. There’s no way you ain’t surviving the shit show we just went through, which only happened thanks to you.”

Trevor asked himself why Michael was still giving him snide remarks about his unruliness. He figured now wasn’t the time to really argue, but still tried nonetheless.

“You… fuckin’ snake.. you think you’re so..”

“I’m so what Trevor? No you know what- Don’t speak right now, but try to stay awake, please?”

“Mmph..”

The ride out of Ludendorff was quiet. The radio was off, and neither one chose to speak. Michael of course was driven mad by the silence.

“…Look. Trevor I- I fucked up. There’s nothing I can do now to fix it, no matter how many times I apologize. But you do- You do know that I cared about you then, and I care about you now…”

Trevor did nothing but grunt in response, eyelids heavy. Michael sighed.

“We’re almost to a hospital. They’ll fix you up good, and- and you’re gonna be fine. You ain’t dying on me yet. I mean- you’ve survived worse? You.. I…”

He huffed out a breath, gripping the steering wheel tight. The rest of the ride was silent, save for Michael making sure Trevor was still alive and conscious. They made it to the hospital, with Michael carrying him fireman style, seeing as Trevor was very lanky compared to him. He called out for someone to help, using his gift of lying to say that Trevor was just shot by a random mugger, so the report back wouldn’t seem too suspicious. He patiently waited for word back from a doctor, eventually seeing someone come to him with a clip board.

“Are you… Franklin?”

Michael had been smart enough to give them both fake names, but he just blurted out the first two names that came to mind. Right now, he went by Franklin, and for all they knew Trevor was Lamar.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Your friend is in critical condition, but you got him here just in time. Any later and he wouldn’t have made it.”

The last sentence caused Michael’s ears to ring.

“He’s going to be out of surgery soon, the bullet wound was pretty deep.” The doctor narrowed their eyes slightly, getting ready to write the report down.

“You said that he was mugged?”

“Yeah. The guy fired at him and ran off. Didn’t get a good look at his face.”

“Hmm… well alright. I’ll let you know when your friend is ready for visitors.”

The rest of the night was painfully slow. By the time Trevor was out of surgery, he was still hopped up on morphine, allowing him to rest properly for the first time in forever. Michael sheepishly walked in, careful not to be too loud. He made his way over to Trevor’s side, sitting in the seat next to his bed. He hadn’t seen Trevor look so content like that in so long. Not since... those days. He spoke to himself, seeing as Trevor was fast asleep.

“You worry me so much you dumbfuck… why do you pull the shit you pull? I mean.. shit. I… I love you, man. I do. But what if you died without ever hearing that from me again? Is that the reason why you get like this? Shit. Right. I’m such a fucking idiot.”

Besides everything about Ludendorff, it angered Trevor to his core that Michael could never admit he loved Trevor unless he was drunk or alone. In this instance, he technically was. Trevor was peacefully dreaming, while Michael felt restless. He proceeded to fumble around for his cellphone to reach out to Franklin, who had been wondering what happened to them. He knew Franklin would probably be up anyway.

Yo Mike, where u at? Trevor too, Lamar n I gotta do one last job wit him.

F

Currently in North Yankton kid. Trev found out about Brad. Some Chinese gangsters rolled on us, T got shot. Be home soon hopefully.

M

Oh shit. Stay safe out there homie. See u soon ig.

F

Michael let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, looking back up at Trevor. He tried to think about what he would do next. Knowing that visiting hours were limited, he felt a twinge of guilt knowing he’d have to leave Trevor alone for a night after what happened. But it was late, and he couldn’t stay there overnight. He figured he’d have to bunk in some cheap motel for the time being. Just until Trevor and him were ready to leave North Yankton. He spoke to the doctor from before to let them know he would come back the next morning. When he arrived at the nearest shit motel, he still couldn’t find it in him to sleep. He was tired, sure, but his mind wouldn’t allow him to drift off. Even if he did, he would find himself jolting awake, the scene of Trevor getting shot playing over and over in his head. He’d almost been responsible for Trevor’s death once, he couldn’t let it happen for real. What would he do anyway if he did die? He quickly brushed the thought off, not wanting to consider the possibilities.

He returned to the hospital the next morning, half awake from the lack of sleep. Visiting hours were early, and he wanted to get them both out of here as fast as he could. Walking to Trevor’s room, he saw the man sitting upright looking out the window. North Yankton may have been cold as a bitch, but from time to time it had real pretty sunrises. He knocked lightly on the door, and Trevor turned to face him.

“Hey, T…”

He couldn’t read the expression on his face.

“I thought you left.”

“Visiting hours are limited, T. You should know that by now.”

He didn’t say anything in response, facing back towards the window instead. Michael sat down in one of the chairs across from him.

“You.. you worried me. I thought-“

“You thought what, cupcake? That I’d just die on the spot, and you could just leave my dead body there-“

“Trevor! For the last time that wasn’t my fucking plan!”

Their voices steadily increased above the normal level it should’ve been for a hospital setting.

“Then why did you have a fucking gun, huh Mikey?”

“I could ask the same for you!”

“Oh of course, turn the situation onto me again-“

“You brought a gun for what, Trevor?!”

“That’s not the issue at hand here!”

“Yes it is!”

A voice chimed into their argument.

“Excuse me. You,” A nurse who walked in pointed at Trevor.

“You need to rest. And sir, I’m not sure who you are, but if you want to stay as a visitor I suggest you lower your voice and behave.”

The two men looked at each other angrily before sitting back down. The nurse exited, most likely wanting to return later so Michael could discuss discharging him. Silence filled the room briefly.

“T… I meant what I said.” His voice had dropped to a whisper.

Trevor didn’t look him in the eye. His arms were crossed, and he just looked out the window.

“I could’ve lost you.”

The other man still said nothing.

“I could’ve lost you and you would’ve died not knowing I..” He trailed off.

Trevor turned back to look at Michael while speaking.

“Knowing what? You hiding something else from me, porkchop?”

“I…”

“Spit it the fuck out Mikey or I swear to God-“

“I love you.”

His felt his stomach twist uncomfortably, and his hands became clammy. He finally forced the words out, sober.

“I love you.” He repeated, shutting his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Trevor while saying it. He chose to look at his feet instead.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. And I just.. kept thinking that you could’ve died not hearing that from me ever again.”

He didn’t notice it at first, but tears brimmed his eyes. Trevor’s scowl fell and his face softened.

“What?” Was all he could choke out.

“Don’t.. don’t make me say it again.” He said, face flushing red.

“You..” Trevor didn’t finish his sentence. He shuddered in his seat, ready to cry himself. He buried his face in his hands, muffling something incoherent.

“What?”

He lifted his head up, tears streaking his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, Michael.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For.. being like this.”

Trevor was a lot of things. You couldn’t just describe him in only one word. Michael tried sifting through the options of what he meant.

“I pushed you so hard back then I.. I thought I was losing you. I didn’t want to. All it did was make you want to leave even more.” Trevor kept sniffling.

“Trev…”

“Why Michael? Why do you do this to me?”

He wanted to ask him “Do what?”, but they both knew the answer. Michael never let his feelings be more than surface level. He was repressed and Trevor hated it. Trevor continued to cry, and the tears that Michael held in spilled.

“Hey.. don’t… don’t apologize, T. Please.”

“I..” He hiccuped.

“I’ve loved you for so long. Why couldn’t you have done the same?”

Michael kept his head down. He didn’t want to see the heartbroken expression on Trevor’s face. It only made him feel worse.

“You left me.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“But you still did. Telling me that doesn’t change anything. You became another person in my life that I loved and then you left. Same as always for me.”

Everything Trevor loved was always out of his reach. Flying, his mother, Michael, Patricia… He could go on. Nothing was ever gonna be permanent for him.

“But I’m here for you now, T. I’m not going anywhere.”

He finally looked up to see Trevor’s sad eyes burning a hole right through him. His silence told him it’d be a long while before he could believe his words.

“Now.. uh. Let’s get the fuck outta this place.”

It didn’t take long for Trevor to be discharged. The doctors had told him he should stay for another day or so, but only got an irritated response from Trevor. Figuring the duo wouldn’t budge on wanting to leave, he was signed off for clearance. They eventually found the plane Trevor flew in on, and made their way out of the state. Neither one knew if this would change anything between them, but Trevor felt more at ease around him. It would still take time and effort for any left over wounds to heal, but for right now, Trevor was content.

[clockay]

Watching it back, mcc 14 wasnt actually that bad! I only just finished watching the previous mccs too and watching it all back to back made me realise the s2 changes are kinda pog tbh :D

Excited for mcc 15 !! George did rlly well in this mcc and at some points rlly carried the team, so after now knowing the maps and the courses and stuff, i feel like he could deffo get top 15 (mayhaps even top 12 question mark ..?) next time :]

That ace race mishap rlly brought down his points by a lot.. if he hadn't gotten confused over those Xs (which he had very valid reason to be confused abt actually), he deffo could've at least placed 20th in it instead of the 32nd he placed ;-;; like srsly that X thing brought him from 22nd all the way down to 38th till he gained ground again ohnygod imagine if he HADN'T confluffled there 😭

He did amazing on TGTTOSAWAF as well !! That luck-based round was confusing and adaptability was rlly important in order to do well in it, whereas that rocket spleefish thing was just difficult, so those are two games he rlly needs to work on, but he like iirc consistently placed top 15 on the rest of it right? Super good considering the new maps! He's rlly improved from last year :'))

And his battle box performance !!! I don't think he's ever placed top 5 in it, no? His training paid off spectacularly and some of the plays he made were so coool :o like him 1v3ing skeppy, tapl, and bbh (?) ?? It was so SMOOTH he took em by surprise and beat em to death. Him shooting sapnap immediately followed by melee was rlly pog too :D He ended up on 1 health yet if punz weren't there, i fully believe he could've killed katherine too. Whilst watching his previous mccs, i noticed that when under pressure like that, his nerves usually get the best of him and he ends up throwing, leading to him getting rlly frustrated with himself (and by extension me too as a viewer tbh). This time though he did better than ever :)

He's rlly grown so much as a performer too omg like even when this time he was 'tryharding', his stream did not make me feel bored nor frustrated a single second :D. When watching his prev mcc vods i occasionally got rlly frustrated watching him since he used to nvr rlly let it all out other than through those lil "aawh i should've ...." he does. But now he lets it all out through inhuman sounds, sliding down his chair etc LMAOOO idk if it's just me but usually when characters in movies pent up their feelings, i end up feeling it a lot more irl (ex a character should cry but doesnt => i cry in their stead), so that kinda applies to watching streamers too i sppose. Aside from it being rlly entertaining to watch, it also releases all the built up frustration, 2 birds with 1 stone pog (maybe it's also cos he genuinely did rlly well this mcc and i genuinely dont know what he could've done better too) :]

Tldr;

This mcc was amazing, george has rlly improved in terms of entertainment and game performance, i believe next time he could deffo place top 15 overall :]

Rlly looking forward to mcc 15 :)))

[juunshua]

i feel you with ssp, ssm is so much easier that game keeps on giving and ssp is like lmao bitch you thought

if i was better at math i would actually maybe try to calculate how much more expensive this game is like not only are power ups worth 3x more coins than the original, you actually ‘earn’ fewer coins per game play, the league bonus is less, the weekly 20 songs play bonus is less (5k as opposed to 10k), you dont get 50k coins for attendance (only 10k like), my intuition but i think the probability of success has also decreased (they nvr tell us the exact value of probability of success-except for the % success cards-just the relative so we cant really compare games in that aspect thus ‘intuition’ but i always feel like i have more ‘stubborn cards’ on pledis than on the other ones), and probably more things and its not like ss sm/jyp were exactly cheap either? but tbh, it was the right balance though between being motivated enough to play the game to power up and not have it be too easy. imo its far more enjoyable on sssm/jyp. i get frustrated so much with sspledis that making this game more expensive has really somehow hindered my enjoyment in playing it occasionally like to see a couple of gameplays of coins earned lost when a c card fails to upgrade an s card its just like the worst feeling alsdjflk ive had to resort to watching commercials after i complete challenges to get more coins and also selling a lot of cards, things i nvr really had to do for ssjyp/sm and the song library isnt huge (obv since its just starting) so that kind of also impacts motivation? theres only so many songs i can play until i get ... bored? its just a huge love/hate with this game in the end tbh alskdjf i go back to ssjyp/sm a lot after playing pledis bc those games make me happier 

[startledbirb]

..

[artistic-writer]

Between Now and Nether :: Ch 13 :: A CS AU

Title: Between Now and Nether by @artistic-writer [full res fanart]

Summary: On their way to a Nolan Charity Gala, tragedy befalls Emma and Killian who is given just seven days to set things right.  Can he make Emma believe and escape the Nether before he is lost forever?

Rating: T+

AO3 Chapters: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12] -[13] Fanart Full Resolution: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12] - [13]

A/N: I am really sorry this post is late guys, but I have only just finished the fanart.  This week has been very busy for me and I could have left this until my next day off, but that is Wednesday and i didn’t want to let you guys down!  You are all so lovely for liking this story, and i promise you will not be disappointed in the ending.  And just a little clarification:  The ring will come up again.  Emma will be put into an interrogation room with Gold.  Leroy will get his just desserts for murdering our lovely Liam.  There will be a very CS-centric heart to heart love filled fluffy-angst chapter - you just have to stick with me a few more.  Also, as predicted, this story has AGAIN been extended, so even more, yay!

I hope you appreciate that this chapter took me over 8 days to complete because it took me 7 days to fabricate a code lol  Legit dedicated. ;)

Future updates will be Sundays AND Thursdays! (providing I can get the art made in time)

Forever thanks to @kmomof4 for beta’ing the shit out of this thing!  You are seriously the best!  And a massive thank you to @hollyethecurious who i very often whine to and for making me go do that thing last night...it made me feel so much better :)

Taglist: @mariakov81 @rouhn @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @resident-of-storybrooke@hookedonapirate @galadriel26 @aye-captn @the-captains-ayebrows @yayimallamaagain @i-nvr-wrote-it @officerrogerss @kiwistreetswan @wellhellotragic @depechemode75 @distant-rose @yrellow-bugs-and-pirate-ships @courtorderedcake  @wellhellotragic

If you would like to be added please let me know for ch 14!

———————————————————————————————————

Emma had to hand it to Liam, even if she had only known him for a short while, he was exceedingly clever.  The code was one that he knew only his brother could break, never risking it falling into the hands of anybody else.  A pang of sadness had hit Emma as she took notes of the dots and dashes, realising just how engrossed in catching his parents’ killer Liam actually had been.  He had been in so deep, living a life behind what the world saw and it explained why he had never had a serious relationship or was social with anyone except his brother.

Graham had long since left the house, a mixture of tiredness and unsettledness overcoming him when Emma sat across from him, mainly talking with herself, but hastily scribbling notes.  The pages had been scrambled but they had managed to work out that they needed to be in reverse order for the code to work.  Killian had told them that much through Emma, and it gave them a good starting point to work out the rest.

Killian had, through constant contact with Emma’s belly, managed to tell them about the time they were kids when he and Liam were sent to live with distant relatives in England.  Newly orphaned, the boys were living with the family that they had never met before and it was clear from the way they were treated, that the family didn’t want them.  They took them in under obligation and the promise of an inheritance from Brennan’s estate, only the money never came and the brothers suffered for it.

In order to keep themselves sane, and to stop their communication from falling into the wrong hands and possibly earning them more abuse, Liam had devised a code.  It was a secret code, their form of communication, and to the casual observer, it would seem to be Morse Code.  Liam had always loved reading about the Navy and wanted to one day join, but at the time he was young, with a bleak outlook, so his imagination was all he had.  He devised an entire language for them, reversing the standard Morse Code and scrambling the messages into anagrams, just to make sure nobody but Killian would understand them.

Once Liam had taught Killian, it seemed they had suddenly become bilingual, talking in their own hidden language that Killian could still read as clear as day.  Emma had assured Graham she wouldn’t rest until they had worked out what the code meant so when he had departed for the evening, she retired to the bedroom with her notes.

It had also become very apparent as the evening had progressed, that Emma now believed so firmly in Killian being with her that he no longer needed to be touching her for her to hear him.  Just being close to her was enough and when Emma had shuffled her legs under the comforter, sitting crossed legged with her notepad resting on her knee, all Killian had to do was mirror her position on the bed in front of her for her to hear him.

“So it’s like Morse Code?” Emma asked excitedly, narrowing her eyes at the dots and dashes on her page.

“Yes!” Killian exclaimed, shuffling his body forward and watching Emma go wide eyed at the movement of the duvet.  “Except it’s reversed,” Killian nodded to the page.  

“So reversed like the words or the dits and dahs?” Emma smirked, poking her tongue out playfully.

Killian matched her smirked and made a noise deep in his throat.  “Dits and dahs?” He quirked his eyebrow and was a little disappointed when Emma didn’t respond.

“Oh, you know,” Emma shrugged.  “I may have been doing a little research.”

“Into Naval Morse Code?” Killian frowned suspiciously.  

“Your interests are my interests,” She beamed at nobody, watching the ripple in the covers shift again.

“Well, maybe we should get that boat,” Killian teased.  “So you can put your research into practice.”  They had been toying with the idea for a while, but Emma had always assumed he was joking, especially when he had declared the vessel would be known as The Jolly Roger and she was to refer to him whilst onboard as Captain.  She knew Killian had inherited his love of the ocean and ships from his brother, and while neither of them made it into the Navy, they had always dreamed of becoming sailors.

Emma rolled her eyes.  “At ease, Captain,” she looked back down to the page in front of her, trying to force the grin from her face but failing when the corners of her mouth twitched into a telling smile.

“As you wish,” Killian purred.

“So, it’s reversed,” Emma tapped her pen to the notepad and looked up again.  “Anything else?”

Killian nodded but quickly remembered she couldn’t see him.  “Aye, it’s also anagrammed.”

“Are you kidding me?” Emma huffed, falling back against the pillows with an oomph.  She exhaled hard and rubbed the side of her temples.  “And Liam made this up?”

“Aye,” Killian chuckled, watching her frustration.  Emma hadn’t known Liam for as long as he had, so her brief time with the second Jones brother obviously gave her no indication of his abilities to create and master any code.  “He was a genius.”

“Clearly,” Emma puffed, a strand of hair that had fallen over her brow flying upwards with her sigh.

“He wanted to captain a ship in the Navy,” Killian told her proudly.  “He spent so long trying to master everything he would need from a young age.”

“And he got into codes,” Emma finished Killian’s story with a roll of her eyes.  He always was one with a flair for the dramatic, including telling a story he really had no time to tell.  “So we work out the anagrams, then the words?”

“Aye,” Killian nodded again with his words, his voice a little unsure.  If Liam really did not want anyone to find this code but him, this wasn’t going to be easy.

It was well into the early hours of the morning before they had really put a dent in Liam’s code.  Working out the letters was easy.  Killian remembered it like it was yesterday and they were boys back in England, reversing the dots and dashes so that the words made sense.  Of sorts.  Killian distinctly remembered that when they were boys, with him being younger, Liam had taken pity on him and made the codes much easier to crack.

Liam must have been more lenient because as they sat in the dimly lit warmth of their bedroom, the small piles of paper in between them seemed to be much more daunting than they had first anticipated.  Each pile was a single phrase, that much they had worked out, but solving the anagrams with little in the way of clues was proving more difficult.

“So, let’s try this again…” Killian began, watching Emma stifle yet another yawn and blink away the watery haze in her reddened eyes.  “What did the first one say again?”

Emma blinked hard and pinched the bridge of her nose, wiping away at her eyes before reaching for her glasses.  She pushed the black rimmed frames up her nose and they immediately started to slide back down from the weight of the lenses, her nose wrinkling to catch them.  Killian smiled, watching her with a warmth in his chest he had missed feeling.

“hpme cbs ebe sfdsvju ljmmjbo - Shift by the brother,” Emma sighed, the words sounded just as ridiculous in a sentence now as when they had started.

“And the second?” Killian prompted.

“Umm…” Emma scanned her page again, tapping her pen down the curling edge.  “fcf iqnf ngcxg dqau - Shift by the sons.”

“I think they are instructions,” Killian said with a frown that Emma couldn’t see.  He tapped his finger to his lips and hummed to himself.

“To what?” Emma’s own brow knitted in confusion and she pushed the glasses up her nose again.

“To solving the messages,” Killian laughed a little when Emma huffed and headbutted the notepad in her hand.  “I think it's something called the shifted alphabet.”

“Are you kidding? You’re telling me Liam created a message, turned it into an anagram, then reverse morse code and then, after all that, he encoded it with a cipher?”  Emma nearly ran out of breath, gasping after her final word as her lungs emptied.

“Aye,” Killian giggled.  “But the anagram is probably redundant,” he beamed, much more confident than a few moments ago.  “Liam used to encode the messages to me in shifted alphabet in case I was unable to solve the anagram.”

Emma looked down to the slightly smudged writing once more and drew a thick, black line under the nonsensical letters in front of her.  “So, this mess of random letters is the original code but in a shifted alphabet pattern?”

“Aye, love, that’s it.”

“So why bother with the anagram!” Emma screeched.

Killian chuckled and rocked back, uncrossing his legs and shuffling forward towards her.  “A diversion,” he grinned, eyes flicking over the page on her lap.  It was just like Liam to create a decoy message, something that would send would be code crackers off in the wrong direction.  It was how they fooled their caregivers back in England and Liam had clearly hoped Killian would recognise his ruse.  “We just have to work out the number of times each message was shifted using the clues he provided.”

“The non anagrammed messages….” Emma clarified.

“Aye, what was that first one again?” Killian asked eagerly, his eagerness to solve this puzzle and get home to his family more prevalent than ever now that he felt they were actually getting somewhere.

“hpme cbs ebe sfdsvju ljmmjbo - Shift by the brother,” Emma yawned again, her eyes screwing closed behind her fingerprint covered glasses.

“Well, I’m the brother,” Killian scratched his scuff littered jaw.

“But it has to be a number, right?” Emma reminded him, half a statement, half a question.  She knew far less about this sort of thing than Killian, but damn if she wasn’t going to learn after this.

“Of course,” Killian agreed, shaking his head.  “It’s one.  I am his brother, of which he only has one.  It’s shifted by one.”  Killian grinned excitedly.  “If you take the jumbled letters and turn them into the previous one, it decodes them, so what does it say now?”

Emma’s pen went to work on the page, the almost silent, smooth sound of the pen filling her ears as it marked the page.  Killian watched her intently, smiling at the way her tongue poked out when she was thinking and the way she tucked her hair behind her ears so it didn’t obscure her view.  She was a vision, even in her sorrow, and he almost forgot himself as he reached for her face, quickly retracting his see through hand when he noticed and remembered his current state.

“Oh,” Emma said sadly, sitting back a little and lifting her head once more.

“Oh?” Killian repeated her words.  “Swan, what does it say?”

“Gold bar dad recruit Killian.”  Emma looked as though a light bulb had gone off in her head, the sudden realisation of the random words hitting her.  “Your dad owned a bar, right?”  Emma shuffled through some more of the papers in beside her, finding what she wanted and holding the deeds aloft so Killian could see.  “Did Gold go there?”

“Not that I remember,” Killian shrugged.  “You said the second one said ‘shift by the sons’, right?”

“Yeah,” Emma scrambled over her notes again.  “fcf iqnf ngcxg dqau - shift by the sons.”

“Well, my father had two sons,” Killian oozed confidence in his words.  “Shift that one by two.”

Again Emma set to work, quicker this time having got the hang of it already.  “Ok, that one says ‘dad gold leave boys’.  What does that mean?  Killian this doesn’t make sense!” Emma growled, throwing her notes aside and crossing her arms.  “We are getting nowhere!”

No, no,” Killian soothed.  “We are!  Liam always told me that Gold tried to get him to do things for him.  Illegal things.  Maybe he tried with both of us and my father found out.”

“That’s a reach,” Emma sighed.

“Please, Emma, just keep an open mind here.  I’m trying.”

A silence fell between them as Emma picked up the notepad once more.  She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and tilting her head back, stretching her neck muscles as she did so.  Killian watched, helpless to comfort her.  He knew she was hurting, her frustration evident through every fiber of her body. Each cell in every muscle screaming out for the touch he couldn’t provide.

“Emma?” He called softly, watching her look up but then the sadness invaded her features for the umpteenth time that night.  It seemed hearing his voice but not being able to see Killian was really starting to affect Emma, and each time she smiled weakly in his direction, Killian felt his heart crack a little more.

“Hmm?” She hummed, resting the tip of her pen to the paper as her eyes flicked around the space in front of her.

“Just making sure you can still hear me,” he smiled, but she did not see him.

Emma’s eyes fluttered closed as if she was imagining Killian there with her.  “I can hear you,” she smiled, head rolling sideways so her head rested on her shoulder.  “We can hear you.”

Killian watched as Emma flattened her palm over her stomach, scrunching the material of the comforter in her hands and grinning from ear to ear.  The burst of anger he had witnessed moments ago was gone and Emma was calmed by the thoughts of the little one growing inside of her.

“You look happy, love,” Killian said softly.  “Radiant even.”

“Yeah right,” Emma scoffed playfully, rolling her eyes.  “I’ve been crying for days, my skin is blotchy and puffy and I’m sitting in my bed trying to decipher the notes of your dead brother with my spirit boyfriend.”  

Killian’s lips twitched into a knowing smile and he laughed a little, the sound sending a welcome shiver through Emma’s entire body.  “Well, you should see me, I am actually glowing,”  Killian laughed and looked down at her hands in front of him, the faintest white grey outline to his fingers blurring the area around them.  “It’s surreal.”

Emma’s laughter faded with his and she stared directly at where he would be sitting.  “This whole week has been just that,” she said, a more serious tone to her voice.  “I’m not sure I can handle much more.”  

A silence fell between them as they both inadvertently diverted their gaze from each other.  Killian lifted his hand and rubbed the skin behind his ear, extending his fingers around the back of his neck and roughly brushing the hair there.  At the same time, Emma sucked in a huge breath, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth and scribbling a doodle on the page in front of her.

“I’m sorry….” Killian whispered, bowing his head.

“I miss you…” Emma murmured at the same time, lifting her head and sucking in a huge breath.  “Killian!” She gasped.

“Yes, love?” Killian’s head snapped up to meet her gaze but the pale faced look of confusion on Emma’s face stopped him dead.  “Emma, what is it?”  he asked concerned, clenching his fists because he couldn’t comfort her.

“Killian…” Emma gasped, her breathing becoming rapid and irregular as she swallowed a hard lump that had formed in her throat.  “...I can see you.”

[nrhumairahh]

Hi my name is Hirei and I'm 8 yo. People say I'm strict but I'm not. I just don't like when people touch my tail or when they hug me tightly or when they refuse to let me out of the room. I am closest to Nani but she passed away a year ago so now i'm trying my very best to get close to my family. It's been really hard on me since Nani left. I am so sad and I felt so left-out. However, Ibu Daya and Ummi Mai nvr fail to make me feel better. They would accompany me during my meals and they would stroke my fur and love me. Esp Ummi Mai. She likes to kiss me basically EVERYWHERE!!! Ibu Daya likes to talk to me. She would tell me to calm down but I'm not even angry🤔 She would stroke my fur too and tell me abt her day at work. I like to listen to her talk but I just don't like being carried. Ik i sound so demanding bleh bleh bleh but I feel uncomfortable. Anyway, I'm not strict. I am loved, by my family and outsiders. Oh!!! Speaking of outsiders, I tend to get shy when they come ard the house. I'm not familiar with their scent you know so I feel provoked. I'm not a mean cat I swear, I was just protecting myself. So here's the scenario > what if I was taken away from my family and got starved by mean and heartless beings? What if they take me away just to abandon me by the side of the streets😣 I would die if I was away from my family. My family is my priority. They are my protectors and they are my humans❤ I'm sorry for the scratches I gave or for bites on your arms. I don't mean to make you mad but I myself was frustrated and I didn't like the things you were doing for me. I'm sorry for being irrational. I love you my dearest family🌷 https://www.instagram.com/p/B21_ncegLNs/?igshid=160yqf8u9h9ao

[pjihoon]

Hi~~ I'm really sorry to bother you! But I saw your gifs in my dash and they're so pretty! I don't even stan wanna one but I just went through your gif tag for so long cause they're so nice 😍 Would you ever share your sharpen / action / topaz or coloring settings or tips? 😊

ahh omg anon thank you so much for your kind words! you’re so sweet

i think i’ll just share generic tips! From each stage of the giffing process. i still have so much i can improve with in giffing, so i’m sorry if i give you super wrong advice ahhh but i hope this helps a little?it got super long so it’s under the read more!!

Downloading Videos

make sure it’s the highest quality video you can get. 1080p is your friend. ok honestly, when i’ve giffed, i havent really noticed a difference in quality between 2k/4k and 1080p? maybe im doing it wrong but honestly the only thing ive noticed is that 2k/4k just slows down my computer drastically and takes up way too much space on a computer that already has like zero space to begin with. so i tend to stick with 1080p. 

Also! if you can get 60fps, thats also nice bc it helps your gifs look smoother.

yaknow how i said 1080p is your friend? well ts files are your best friends/family. if you can torrent them or download the, your gifs will look super pretty. i highly recommend this for live performance gifs. you can find ts files for a lot of shows, but again, since my computer has

kpop24hrs and kpopexciting are two places i go for those live perf ts files! kpop24hrs tends to have more i feel (it’s where i go when i want to gif my rookie groups that dont have too much attention on them)

you can also find torrents on twitter, if you search the right things

Extracting Videos

ok for this, if you have a pc (so like not a mac) i HIGHLY recommend looking into avisynth. there’s this tumblr account named brandinator who i’ve heard gives really awesome tips for avisynth and made it really easy for people to get avisnyth.if youre like me and your stuck with a mac, or if you just want to stick with photoshop then you can read the rest of this

i have photoshop cs5? so my tips are generally based around that. 

for youtube videos (so basically mp4/avi format) i use photoshop’s video extraction feature. file—>import–>video frames to layersif your photoshop is like mine for whatever reason and it doesnt want to recognize mp4 files, then what i do is changed the .mp4 extension to a .avi extension (and its super easy to do on mac….i dont have a pc so idk how different that is) the quality doesnt really change either with that simple changing of the ending it sorta just tricks photoshop i guess lol idunno

when youre on the ‘video frames to layers’ window, make sure you don’t hit the ‘limit to every _____ frames’ bc that makes it lose the smoothness quality of gifs. maybe back when the gif limit was like 1mb that would have been important, but we live in a world of luxury now. so for smoother looking gifs, make sure that box is unchecked. other ppl (pc users i think) tend to use other video extraction softwares. i cant remember the name, but all i remember is that for macs, that software cant extract frames so its useless for us. i think it was kmplayer? not sure. like you can download kmplayer on mac but it doesnt have the same features rip.for ts files, i use vlc player (since ps can’t open it) and sit there and capture each and every frame lol. 

Actually Giffing

here’s where things get a bit interpretive

(im assuming you know how to make a gif since you’ve asked for specific things like sharpening and stuff)

for coloring, 

ive found that not changing the lighting too much of the video youre giffing leads to higher quality stuff…but i also hate not changing the lighting too much which is why a lot of my gifs turn out grainy hahah (my coloring is really centered around how to make the person in the gifs look the most ‘natural’? so that usually involves trying to take out video filters). but yea the gifs in which i didnt change too much with coloring, tended to be my most high quality gifs. 

i don’t use other peoples psds and make my own everytime for each gif, and i only usually just adjust ‘curves’ and ‘exposure’ yea.

if there’s an ugly color background that you want to make look more white, when youre in ‘curve’s, go to each color (red green and blue) and drag the little line thing in the top right corner a little to the left. idk what is actually happening there and why it only really addresses the bg but thats a good way to try to make your bg whiter without actually whitewashing the gif. 

for sharpening

lol sharpening, my enemy. its what i struggle with the most

i use .4 at 500% for smart sharpen

and then for topaz i make sure clean color is at 0 first of all, and i mess around with ‘overall strength’ and ‘reduce blur’ until i get the quality that i wanted. i nvr go higher than .07 strength. 

but an important thing for sharpening i think is deciding when you want to crop the picture? do you crop it before or after the sharpening/topaz? i dunno honestly, but for me ive found that cropping first, and then applying sharpening settings leads to the highest quality (or maybe thats what im used to so it turns out better). 

oh yea i dont resize, i crop instead. i’m not sure if that does anything but when i was first starting i found that resizing made my gifs look more blurry…? and that cropping was nicer to my gifs? i’m not sure if that does anything though lol maybe cropping is worse who knows, but its something ive stuck with ever since ive started

save settings

i’ve recently switched over to diffusion! but sometimes that doenst work out so i use the pattern one. i play around with adaptive/selective to see which one looks better or takes up less space haha

last but not least: pray

i spend a lot of my time praying that my gif will come out good haha bc even if you think you did everything right, once you hit that ‘save for web’ button, it’ll look like the ugliest thing in the world it’s really frustrating. like even when i make a gifset from the same video using the same everything (coloring, sharpening, save settings) one gif will look like trash and the other one will be like the best thing ive ever giffed so its like?? pray

[artistic-writer]

Title: Between Now and Nether by @artistic-writer [full res fanart]

Summary: On their way to a Nolan Charity Gala, tragedy befalls Emma and Killian who is given just seven days to set things right.  Can he make Emma believe and escape the Nether before he is lost forever?

Rating: T+

AO3 Chapters: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12] -[13] Fanart Full Resolution: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12] - [13] - [14]

A/N: This is officially my last completed chapter.  Which means, that if I do not get my life in some sort of order before Christmas, the last 3 chapters might not be posted until afterwards.  I am sorry, and I know how much people are enjoying this fic, and for that, i thank you all, but I have to complete my CSSS, my csfestivegiving and then there is the little problem of the pile of gifts that need wrapping in my lounge.  I hope you guys will understand and know that I will make sure this fic is finished with a flourish, just for you guys!  Writing isn't the part that takes the time - It is the fanart, which can very often take me hours!

Future updates will be Sundays AND Thursdays! (providing I can get the art made in time)

Forever thanks to @kmomof4 for beta’ing the shit out of this thing!  You are seriously the best!  And a massive thank you to @hollyethecurious who i very often whine to and for making me go do that thing last night…it made me feel so much better :)

Taglist: @mariakov81 @rouhn @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @resident-of-storybrooke@hookedonapirate @galadriel26 @aye-captn @the-captains-ayebrows @yayimallamaagain @i-nvr-wrote-it @officerrogerss@kiwistreetswan @wellhellotragic @depechemode75 @distant-rose @yrellow-bugs-and-pirate-ships @courtorderedcake  @wellhellotragic  @followbatb

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“Love, wait…” Killian called after Emma as her hair whipped through his visage. He was so close and yet so far away from her as she stomped determinedly across the parking lot of the precinct, his hand slipping through her arm as he tried to halt her. “Emma!”

Emma spun around and squinted at the sun as it shone straight through Killian and almost blinded her. Normally his bulk acted as a sufficient sunblock, but not in his current state. “This is it, Killian. The captain needs to see this!”

“And how are you going to explain this?” Killian gave her a sympathetic look. “How are you going to explain that you single handedly solved my murder whilst not even being at work?”

Emma was silent. He was right. She knew Graham would be in her corner, but all he could corroborate was where Emma had got the files from. How did she know where to find them? How did she find the key? Emma reached up and clutched at the sword charm that hung around her neck, letting the pointed tip dig into her palm with frustration.

“You see my point, love?” Killian smiled and his eyebrow jumped on his face.

“You’re right,” Emma huffed, clutching the files to her chest along with the notes they had worked so hard to decipher.

“You have to approach this differently,” Killian warned softly. “You can’t tell the Captain about me.”

“Why not?” Emma frowned. “If it wasn’t for you…”

“I would still be alive,” Killian interrupted with a sigh. “I should have never gotten involved in any of this,” he growled, planting his transparent hands on his hips and rolling his bottom lip between his teeth. “This was Liam’s vendetta, not mine.”

Emma watched him shift emotions to anger but even she could tell that it was misdirected. Killian worshipped the ground his brother had walked on, every single inch, and regardless of what had happened she knew he would have done it all again. If Liam was close to finding his parents’ murderer, then Killian would have picked up where he left off without a second thought. In any life.

“Killian,” Emma said softly and when he looked back at her she smiled weakly. “You know as well as I do that regardless of the how, and the when, you would have always followed your brother to find the why.”

Emma was right and Killian curled his lips in mock defeat. “You know me too well, love,” he grinned, wishing so desperately that he could hold her in his arms to thank her properly. “And I am truly sorry for pulling you into this mess.”

Emma pulled her brow together and arched her neck. “Jones,” she rolled her eyes and almost began to laugh in the middle of the precinct parking lot. “Without me, you would have never solved this thing. You need me,” she winked.

Killian beamed from ear to ear, even more in love with Emma than he had ever been. He really had to find a way home. It seemed that even though Emma more than believed he was alive, he still had the misfortune to be able to walk through walls, and he couldn’t figure out why. “Aye, love,” Killian’s smile faded a little with the sudden realisation he might never get back to Emma or their child. “I need you more than anything.”

“Hey sister,” Leroy’s voice invaded Emma’s ears, his harsh, smoke changed rasp catching her unawares and making her jump. She clutched at the files in her hand even harder and swallowed a dry lump down her throat. Her face paled instantly and her heartbeat pounded in her ears.

“Leroy,” she choked out, stepping backward to put more space between them.

Leroy twisted his face into a grimace and eyed the tattered folder in Emma’s arms. “Are you okay?” He grunted, tugging at the waistband of his slacks but failing to pull them up any further because of his overhanging gut. “You look like you have seen a ghost.”

“Emma…” Killian breathed, shaking her from her trance.

Emma looked beside her and softened. “I know,” she nodded to seemingly nobody.

“Who are you talking to?” Leroy barked, narrowing his eyes at her. He took a step towards her once more and Emma took two back.

“Stay away from me!” She screamed, her voice echoing around the parking lot. It was a public place and she needed somebody to hear her.

“Hey, woah!” Leroy held out his hands defensively. “Calm down. I was just trying to be nice, what with your boyfriend’s passing and all,” He scoffed and Emma couldn’t believe how blase he was about the whole situation. She was standing face to face with the man who had killed Liam, according to the code written in his notes, and yet he was unphased.

It sent a chill through Emma’s spine so deep that she thought she might never feel warmth there ever again.

“I don’t need you to be nice,” Emma spat, straightening herself so she seemed taller. Leroy huffed and mumbled something to himself, shaking his head as he walked away.

“Come on,” Killian coaxed with a sideways nod of his head. “Let’s get to the Captain.”

The entire precinct fell silent when Emma walked through the door. There was a mixture of pity and awkwardness that hung in the air, sorrow etched onto the faces of everybody she looked at. Voices dulled to whispers, shoes stilled against the ground and the eerie silence was disturbed only by the shrill ringing of a telephone. Emma’s cheeks flushed and she gripped the edges of the folder she was holding even harder, her knuckles turning white as she bowed her head and walked through to the detective's bullpen.

“Well, this is uncomfortable,” Emma whispered to Killian who was hot on her heels, invisible to everyone but her. He even passed through a few people who were taking up space on the opposite side of the narrow hallway, shuddering each time he did but thankful he didn’t get tethered to anyone like he had with Humbert.

“I’m right here, love,” Killian told her softly as Emma reached the Captain’s office.

She took a deep breath, curling her fingers into her palm to form a fist and knocking on the huge, dark oak colour door hard.

“Come in!” Captain Lucas called, her stern voice almost making the door rattle on its hinges.

“I’m right here,” Killian repeated, wrapping his arms around Emma’s body until his flat palms spread out over her stomach. Emma’s eyelids fluttered closed and she let her head roll back as if she could really feel Killian pressed up against her. Killian nudged his face into the hair behind Emma’s ear and pressed his ethereal lips to the skin there. “I’m always right here.”

“Come in!” Captain Lucas boomed again and Emma was jolted back to awareness of her surroundings once more. She reached for the round, brass handle of the Captain’s door and twisted, pushing the door free from its frame and stepping over the threshold.

Captain Lucas was at her desk, if you could call it that. Organisation was not the woman’s strong suit, and Emma wasn’t sure she even knew the definition of tidy. She had a stack of case files almost as tall as she was balanced precariously on one corner of her desk, a short stack set beside that and then on the opposite end was yet another, stacked almost up to the bulb of her table lamp. Emma knew she had a phone somewhere under it all because she could see a cord trailing from underneath some folders, and her name plaque was just about visible beneath a blue folder.

“Oh, Emma,” She said softly, her tone changing when she realised who had disturbed her. When she looked up her glasses slid to the end of her nose and she gave Emma a smile. “Sit down,” she motioned to the seat opposite her desk and Emma sank down into it with a half hearted smile.

“Thank you, Captain,” Emma smiled, eyes flitting over the mass of folders in front of her. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“Not at all,” Captain Lucas shook her head, shuffling some papers into a pile and trapping them between the frayed edged folder in front of her. “These piles never go down anyway,” she said sadly, setting the case file she was studying to one side. It bumped a tiny statue of a black wolf that Emma had never seen on the desk before, probably because of the fact you could only see about five percent of the entire surface.

“How are you doing?” The Captain asked gently and Emma understood her reservation immediately. She had lost Killian only two weeks ago, but nobody else knew she could see him.

“Maybe try to appear a tad more morose, love,” Killian chuckled, settling into the chair next to Emma but making no mark on the leather material.

Emma pretended to ignore him and rubbed her hand over her legs, feigning nerves. “Oh, you know,” she shrugged, looking down at her feet. Captain Lucas made a face, her features filled with the pity Emma had seen throughout the building.

“Well, we all miss you,” Captain Lucas said with a weak smile. “But take all the time you need before you come back to work.”

“Well, about that,” Emma sat forward in her chair and licked her lips, looking at the folder in her hands. “Killian left me something that I think you will find very interesting.”

“Oh?” Captain Lucas mirrored Emma, sitting forward in her own chair and spying the folder in Emma’s hand.

Emma handed her the folder. “Liam and Killian were both running an off the books investigation into Gold,” Emma began as the Captain flipped the folder open. “Liam believed Gold responsible for the death of their parents, but to keep his work secure, he wrote all of his notes in a code that he knew only Killian would be able to break.”

“And did he?” The Captain asked, setting her glasses further up her nose with a little push before licking her finger and turning to the next page in the folder.

“No,” Emma shuffled even closer to the edge of her chair and leaned over the desk in front of her. She pointed to several parts on the page the Captain was looking at and continued. “I did.”

Captain Lucas looked up from the folder with an impressed smile. “Emma, I knew you were something special when I saw you on your first day.”

“So did I,” Killian whispered proudly but Emma did not look in his direction, instead letting her lips twitch into a smirk.

“It’s all in there,” Emma pointed at the folder again. “The when, the why and the how…”

“Wait,” Captain Lucas interrupted quickly, setting the folder down on top of several others in front of her and plucking a small scrap of paper from inside. With a twisted frown, she held it up for Emma to see, the little doodles clearly visible. Emma gulped at the sight, knowing exactly what the Captain was seeing. She wasn’t the Captain for nothing.

“Yup,” Emma answered her silent question with a nod. The piece of paper was one of the oldest notes Killian had made as he had tried to unlock Liam’s code. It showed three small pictures, probably drawn by him in haste, and were a clear indication of blame as far as Liam’s death was concerned. There was a gold bar, a handgun and a dwarf.

“I always hated that dwarf,” Killian spat.

“Emma, do you realise the implications of this?” Captain Lucas sat back in her chair and pulled her glasses from her nose so she could see Emma more clearly. “If this is wrong…”

“It’s not…”

“It’s not,” Emma repeated Killian’s words. “We all know who the dwarf represents.”

Captain Lucas looked at the scrap of paper once more and she shook her head. “And I am to just believe that three symbols on a piece of paper led you to this conclusion?”

“Of course not,” Emma laughed and motioned towards the folder once more. “I did the work, Captain. The proof is there. Leroy killed Liam for Gold and Jefferson killed Killian for Gold,” Emma fumbled across the desk and grabbed another scrap of paper, depicting the same gold bar, the same handgun, and a little top hat with a playing card tucked under the ribbon. Emma tapped the picture. “Everybody knows Jefferson is known as the Mad Hatter.”

“And Leroy as the Dwarf…”

“And Leroy as the Dwarf,” Emma clarified. A quiet fell between them and Emma knew it usually meant the Captain was thinking. She had got her cogs turning, her face twitching as she considered what Emma was saying.

“The gold bar obviously represents Gold,” Emma continued, her voice rising an octave with anticipation. “And the gun is obviously the method by which he had people killed.”

Captain Lucas thumbed through a few more scraps of paper. The gold bar was present on every one, and the top hat featured prevalently. Only the middle icon changed, ranging from the gun to a broken bone, a slashed throat, a bathtub which Emma had decoded to represent drowning. Liam Jones had made sure that his symbols were a consistent code, and it hadn’t taken Emma long to work out what each meant. Captain Lucas inspected the scrap of paper again with a frown. “But how is this supposed to represent Killian’s death if Liam had no idea it would happen?”

Emma grinned almost proudly and pointed to the off white, yellowing piece of paper. “See the torn edges and thinning corners? This note is old, much older than the rest and way before Killian,” Emma nodded with wide eyes. “I’d say this was the first note Liam ever created and represents the murder of Brennan and Saoirse.”

“Emma…” The Captain began, letting the folder droop in her hands.

“This is going to finally land us Gold,” Emma said urgently, jabbing her forefinger into the folder. “We are finally going to get the bastard!”

“God, Emma, I love you,” Killian sighed, his words forming from the sheer passion of Emma’s words.

Emma took a breath, setting herself back in the chair and swiping her hand across her brow to dislodge some stray strands of hair from her eyelashes. She quickly looked to Killian and gave him a sideways smirk, the pride on his face making her heart swell.

“And if this is wrong?” Captain Lucas countered. “Emma, this could end Leroy’s career. You can’t accuse a detective of killing another without some sort of ramifications.”

“Good!” Emma spat hatefully. “He deserves to fry for what he did to Liam! Jefferson has already confessed to killing Killian too, a confession that all but confirms my report, and I have no doubt he will cop to the Jones parents too,” Emma nodded towards the folder again. Finally, as if reading her mind, Captain Lucas picked it up and turned another page. A small gasp told both Emma and Killian that she had found the page containing the most damning information, the information that would certify Gold as not only depraved beyond anything but also criminally insane.

“So, Gold killed the Jones’?” Captain Lucas clarified, popping her glasses back on, sliding them to the tip of her nose and lifting her nose to level her vision at the page in front of her.

“Aye…”

“Yeah, and if Killian and Liam had not been shipped back to England to live with family, he would have most certainly killed them too,” Emma sighed sadly.

“Those poor boys,” Captain Lucas said, breathing a soft sigh. She looked up to Emma with a puzzled expression. “Gold really did all of this because Brennan Jones simply stood up to him?”

Emma nodded. “Gold was trying to recruit Liam and Killian into his lifestyle, shape them into the children he never had. Brennan and Gold had once been friends, so it’s possible Gold thought of the Jones boys as his own, in a twisted sort of way.”

“Any chance Gold could have been the boys' real father?” Lucas said seriously.

“Sod off!” Killian spat, disgusted and shot Emma a pleading glance to repeat his words.

“Absolutely not,” Emma said diplomatically.

“Hmmm,” Captain Lucas hummed. “I’ll admit, this does seem to be the makings of a very strong case.”

“Think about it, Captain,” Emma implored. “We could solve four murders with this information. Even though he never pulled the trigger, we all know Gold is, by definition, a serial killer.” Captain Lucas looked up and met Emma’s gaze. “How long until he kills again?”

“This will not be easy,” Lucas said firmly, sliding the rollers on the foot of her chair forward a little until her knees bumped the underside of her desk. “We are going to need Gold to confess. We have no weapon, we have no means…”

“But we have a motive,” Emma interjected eagerly. “And I promise you, Captain, if you put me in a room with that bastard, I will get you a confession.”

“Okay,” Captain Lucas said after a pause.

“Splendid!” Killian clapped but only Emma heard his hands hitting each other.

“Okay?” Emma prompted the Captain for more, but instead of answering her, the Captain simply leaned forward and fished under some files until she found her phone. She lifted the receiver, dialed a few numbers indicating an internal call and peered at Emma over her glasses whilst she waited for an answer. Emma gave her a narrow eyed glare until she heard the voice on the other end of the line.

“Ah, Leroy,” Captain Lucas chimed fakely. “Could you please come to my office?”

[artistic-writer]

Between Now and Nether :: Ch 12 :: A CS AU

Title: Between Now and Nether by @artistic-writer [full res fanart]

Summary: On their way to a Nolan Charity Gala, tragedy befalls Emma and Killian who is given just seven days to set things right.  Can he make Emma believe and escape the Nether before he is lost forever?

Rating: T+

AO3 Chapters: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12] Fanart Full Resolution: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12]

A/N: Ok, i feel like what is actually in the box is not as exciting as you were all hoping lol.  Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t?  I’m not sure...I just like cliffhangers *evil grin*  Again,  iam sorry for the delay with this chapter (it is normally posted 6 hours ago my time) but I have been busy with my RL and didn’t get the art done until about an hour ago.  There is a full res version (as there is with all posts) which, if you are eagle eyed, you will notice a small clue as to why Leroy killed Liam. ;)

Future updates will be Sundays AND Thursdays! (providing I can get the art made in time)

Forever thanks to @kmomof4 for beta’ing the shit out of this thing!  You are seriously the best!  And a massive thank you to @hollyethecurious who has been there to listen to me bitch and scream about this thing, and all the while she has had a smile on her face (i hope…there is an ocean between us - YOU’D BETTER BE SMILING!)

Taglist: @mariakov81 @rouhn @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @resident-of-storybrooke@hookedonapirate @galadriel26 @aye-captn @the-captains-ayebrows@yayimallamaagain @i-nvr-wrote-it @officerrogerss @kiwistreetswan @wellhellotragic@depechemode75 @distant-rose@yrellow-bugs-and-pirate-ships @courtorderedcake

If you would like to be added please let me know for ch 13!

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“This is time sensitive,” Emma told Graham with a serious glance. They were seated back in her kitchen, the files from Killian’s safety deposit box spread out all around them. Killian had eagerly awaited their arrival by pacing around the ethereal world he was trapped in, using all of his energy to practice throwing things off the table, or moving cutlery along the sideboard in the kitchen.

“Aye, that it is…” he agreed with a nod that neither of them could see, his ghostly figure standing against the wall with folded arms, the table pushed against the wall passing right through his body where he stood.

Graham had a pensive expression, fingers toying with a patch of stubble below his bottom lip as his eyes scanned the paperwork in front of him. They had uncovered a plethora of dog eared pages, mostly photocopies of files that both Emma and Graham recognised would never have been allowed to leave the precinct, and they all seemed to indicate a larger plot involving Gold.

“This is big,” he said with a gasp, eyes widening.

Killian pushed himself from the wall and moved through the solid surface, leaning over Graham’s shoulder to see what he had seen.

“And time sensitive,” Emma repeated urgently, rearranging herself in the chair so that she was sitting on her crossed legs, leaning forward over the files. “Killian has less than three days left.”

“And I don’t much fancy getting stuck in the Nether,” he grumbled, slightly irritated nobody could hear him.

Graham reached out and plucked a page from the pile before him, a mugshot of a young Jefferson staring back at him, the illegible scrawl over the page telling him it was a very old arrest warrant. “Liam and Killian have been very busy.”

Both Emma and Killian frowned. “How do you mean?” Emma asked, spying the page in his hand and taking it from him without permission. Half of the information for Jefferson’s arrest was missing, either erased or simply left out. Emma frowned, scanning over the lack of information on the page, the headshot of a rather young looking Jefferson neatly secured to the bottom of the page.

“That is an arrest warrant for the Jones case,” Graham said, sitting back in his chair and pointing to the page in her hand. He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest and sighed.

“Liam or Killian?” Emma asked, scanning the page. If the name of the murdered party was on the page, she wasn’t seeing it.

“Brennan and Saoirse’s,” Graham said sadly.

Emma’s head snapped up form the page and she looked at Graham wide eyed in disbelief. “Jefferson killed Killian’s parents?” She choked on the words, a lump catching in her throat. Emma felt her heart break. Neither Killian or Liam ever spoke of their parents and now she knew why.

“Aye…” Killian said sadly, moving to stand next to Emma. He had known since he had acquired Liam’s notes, but he had never told Emma. Regardless of the hurt associated with finding out who killed your parents, if this information had got Liam killed, the less Emma knew the better.

“And according to Liam’s notes,” Graham shuffled a few pages aside, finding a page he had previously found relevant. “He did it for Gold. Seems he was released on a technicality.”

“Gold paid off some dirty cops to look the other way more like…”

“Oh baby…” Emma sighed to herself, the familiar chill creeping up her spine that she knew was Killian standing behind her. “But why?”

Graham passed her the piece of paper and shrugged. “I haven’t worked that part out yet.”

Emma took the crinkled, dog eared paper from Graham and laid it down in front of her. Jefferson looked so young and Emma wondered when he had been corrupted, and how.

“It has to be in these notes somewhere,” Graham said, shuffling a nearby pile around.

Emma gasped when she felt a cold hand skim across her stomach, looking down at her lap where there was nothing. She had only felt traces of Killian up until now, the faintest of breezes and feelings, but now she felt his very cold, very real palm pressed to her belly and she held her breath.

“He has a daughter…” Killian whispered and Emma shuddered, her eyes fluttering closed and the hair on the back of her neck standing on end as Killian’s words echoed in her ears.

“His daughter,” Emma whispered, peeling her eyes open, her dazed expression meeting Graham’s. He looked at her confused, his brows knitting together. “He has a daughter,” Emma cleared her throat, shaking her hair over her shoulders. “Gold is obviously using her as leverage.”

Graham swallowed. Emma’s statement made him no better than Gold. Even though his threat was harmless in comparison, and no harm would ever befall the girl at his hands, Graham felt a pang of guilt invade his soul. If Gold had been manipulating Jefferson for years, maybe decades, no wonder the guy was losing his mind.

“This can’t just be about his daughter,” Graham scoffed, finding a photo of the young girl. She was pretty, cherub cheeked with silky blonde hair plaited in a french braid, her huge smile grinning at the camera. Graham handed Emma the photo of Grace and shook his head. “She wouldn’t have been born back then.”

“You’re right,” Emma said, taking the photo and skimming her fingertips over the child’s face. Emma’s lips twitched into a weak smile and she instinctively clutched at the shirt covering her stomach. “But maybe that’s why he killed Killian? Maybe Gold threatened his daughter?”

“Aye, love, bloody brilliant!”

Emma gasped again, jumping forward on her chair and nearly toppling off when Killian’s voice took her by surprise. What felt like a rush of ice surged through her, starting at her womb and radiating outwards, and when she had settled upright again, Emma groaned. Graham reached out his arm, steadying her and helping her back onto the seat.

“Are you okay?” He frowned, confused, his hand hovering over her shoulder in case she fell again.

Emma rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. “Could you warn me next time you are going to get so excited?” She called out into the room.

“Sorry, my love...”

Graham narrowed his eyes when no answer came. “Killian,” she told him simply, refocusing back on the paperwork in front of her.

“He’s here?” Graham licked his lips nervously, refocusing his own attention on the page in front of him, not actually reading the words.

“I am always here,” Killian growled at Graham, his fingers flexing over Emma’s stomach. Her lips twitched into a smile that she tried to hide but Graham noticed.

“What did he say?” Graham asked, looking around the room with a worried glance. Emma may have warmed up to the fact that her boyfriend was haunting the house, but it made him nervous.

“He said he is always here,” Emma smirked.

“Watching…” Killian huffed.

“Okay, easy tiger,” Emma laughed lightly to herself as the words invaded her mind again.

“Maybe I should leave you two alone,” Graham suggested awkwardly.

“Oh come on, Humbert,” Emma teased. “You boys can play nice, right?”

Graham’s gaze roamed around the kitchen, but he saw nothing. There was nothing quite as disturbing as knowing somebody you couldn’t see was right next to you. Watching you.

“Maybe I should possess him again…” Killian teased, a smile playing across his face.

“Don’t,” Emma stifled her giggle and Graham shot her a paranoid glance.

“Now what did he say?” He asked, irritated.

“He said, maybe he should possess you again.”

Graham shuffled his chair back, eager to get away from Emma and Killian who was clearly near enough to her that she could hear him. He scrambled backwards until his back hit the sink and a light brown folder toppled to the floor between them, the edges folded into a strange angle from being stored underneath something much heavier at some point.

“Tell him to stay away from my body!” Graham shouted around the room, unsure if he was about to be taken over or not, the fear making his heart beat faster and the blood in his ears pump louder.

“With pleasure,” Killian grumbled, staying at Emma’s side. “Ungodly smooth is not my preferred grooming regime.”

“Guys!” Emma shouted, silencing them both when she slapped her hands down on the surface of the table loudly. The thump shook Killian back, his hands slipping from her body and made Graham look up at her in shock.

“I’m sorry...It’s just…” Graham begun, trying to explain how he was so scared with a more manly voice.

“No, Graham, look!” Emma said quickly, rising from her own seat and kneeling next to the fallen papers. Graham frowned, cocked his head to the side and knelt with her, shooting one last glance over her shoulder before he committed to the vulnerable position. “Do you see what I see?” Emma asked excitedly, smoothing her hand over one of the pages, flattening out the corner. She repeated the action with the next page. And then the next. And then another, until a pattern of dots and dashes started to emerge between the pieces of paper.

“Is it a code?” Graham titled his head at the dots, each scribbled onto the corner of the pages in black ink but hidden from view by the fold. “Do you think it means something?”

“Of course it means something!” Killian snapped, watching them fiddle with the papers. He recognised the code instantly as the reverse morse code he and Liam used to use to communicate in secrets as kids back in England. Their father had taught them morse code and when their parents had died, they were shipped back to England to live with a distant relative, so they had invented a secret reverse version of Morse code in order to keep their conversations from their caretakers. “Liam, you glorious bastard!” Killian yelped, almost skidding across the papers as he fell to his knees beside Emma.

Emma welcomed the gasp and chill across her skin once more, looking sideways to where Killian would have been had he been a solid form. She held his hand to her and waited, knowing he was trying to tell her something.

“It’s a code, Swan,” Killian said excitedly. “And I know exactly how to crack it!”