#it’s so bittersweet and i’m SO bad with bittersweet
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hm. so. homecoming wings spoilers, be warned.
i just finished caleb’s branch on the main story and i’m actually crying? i’m not going to talk about the little holes they left on the story because the game was never about scratching the player’s itch of writing excellency like a book would do…
but why did our farewell with caleb sounded so bittersweet? like we actually “lost” our childhood bestfriend or the idea we had of him and there is no comfort after that. that is just there, in plain sight: we are not happy with him and we let him go in weird terms. them leaving things as they were pissed me sooo much! but again, i must consider the cards and extra content after that happened… so we are actually in good terms, or something like that.
infold really put the yandere behavior on him and i love it! at the same time, they let us feel that teenage loving side of him to ease a little (and confuse) our brains.
the sleeping pills??? the “sit back” voice??? the “i want to protect you so much that i’m ok with being the bad guy in your head as long as i keep you safe”???
🔊 THE CUP SCENE. YES. OH MY GAWD. and then his reaction like “are you finished?” after that- LORD HAVE MERCY. his battle attire, animation and lines are my favorite now! (after lumiére ofc)
caleb is so hot and his memories and cards are so unique!!! you get that feeling of first love and intimacy only the mc’s trope with him can give us. AND HE IS CRAZY ABOUT US AND IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU. cause you’re missing out on this guy.
what really got me was his yearning, his trailers really gave us that and i’m glad it wasn’t just trope bait. he looks disheartened when he sees that we are ACTUALLY pissed at him. and when he goes to ruffle our hair and then stops his hands when we’re saying goodbye? OH NO MY SHAYLA.
this was me yapping. i’m not disappointed at all, the 3.0 version is full of nice features. it’s a shame the game is mostly a scam, but who am i to complain right? i’ll watch everything on yt later <3 CALEB YOU’RE SO HOT PLS GIVE ME A CHANCE.
anyways, live laugh love caleb.
#love and deepspace#caleb x you#caleb love and deepspace#caleb x mc#lads#caleb fluff#caleb fanfic#love and deepspace caleb#caleb x reader#caleb smut#caleb
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Lost Love.
Warnings: angst, little to no comfort, bad writing, swearing, brief mention of violence, a bittersweet (half) ending, mentions of ed
Pairings: Emily Prentiss x Gn!reader, platonic!Emily Prentiss x Reid, platonic!Aaron Hotchner x Gn!reader
Word count: around 1.9k
A/N: I got an ask for this but i accidentally deleted it… so here’s a short one, almost two years later haha… 😅 sorry!
English isn’t my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes or if this moves too fast I am fairly new to writing.
。・:*˚:✧。
The moment you heard that Doyle got his slimy hands on Emily you couldn���t think straight. All you wanted to do was to catch him and beat the living shit out of him for hurting the most important person in your life.
The team and you ran inside the building, looking for the dark-haired woman. You decided to break away from your team, searching the rooms by yourself when you stumble upon the worst thing you’ve ever seen.
The love of your life, Emily, was currently on the floor, bleeding out. You stumbled towards her, engulfing her in your arms, putting pressure on her abdomen wound.
“It’s going to be okay babe, you’re okay.” Smiling down at her, you shook her awake seeing her eyes falter.
“It hurts…”
“I know, I know it does, pretty girl. But you have to hold on for me.”
She sighs and reaches out her hand to caress your cheek. “You look so beautiful tonight.
You nod, biting your lip as you don’t trust yourself to not let out a sob. Petting her hair you leaned into her touch, begging the heavens to let her live.
“I’m just going to –” You ripped a piece of your shirt to tie it around her leg, which was cut up badly, making her whine in pain. “I – I know princess, I know.”
The door opened as you heard collective gasps, picking up your head you saw Aaron and JJ rush towards you and your lover. Derek couldn’t move, he didn’t want to see his friend-like sister dying on the floor.
“I tried to do anything to save her some time –” In an instant, you were pulled away and the medical team started to work on Emily. You tried to pull away from the person holding you, wanting to go and be near your girlfriend. “I have to… I need to be next to her.”
“I know you do, but that won’t help her right now.” Hotch pulled you out of the room and out of the building, he needed to get you to safety.
“Hotch, let me ride with her.” You sobbed out when you saw Emily being put into an ambulance. You looked over at him, giving you a small nod. That was the only thing you needed before you ran up to the vehicle and got inside it.
-
For some weird reason, Hotch told you to stay with them while JJ went to find out if Emily survived. It was weird, sure, but you understood it perfectly, he didn’t want you to break down alone.
So when you saw the blonde come in, where the whole team was sitting, you could tell from her solemn look that your worst nightmare had come true. Spencer stood up before he was engulfed in a hug from the liaison, Derek and Penelope were both crying in their seats.
You looked over at Dave, who was biting his lip to not make a sound, you could tell that the death hit him hard, he thought of Emily as his daughter in a way. But when your watery eyes moved to your side, Hotch seemed oddly put together.
Of course, you knew that he was a rather calm and stoic man but he and your girlfriend always had a special bond, so his reaction was weird. But you decided not to question the man, your mind was soon clouded with depressed thoughts of your late lover.
A couple of days passed, that’s all the time you gave yourself to grieve. Hotch advised you to take a month for yourself but you shrugged him off, knowing that your girlfriend would want you to put yourself back out there to fight and help people.
“Leave me alone Hotch, I told you that I’m fine.” Rolling your eyes at the man in front of you, you turned back towards the papers you needed to fill.
“I know what you said, but that doesn’t mean that I will listen to your lies and go along with them.” Not getting an answer from you, he pushed your chair so that you were face to face. “Listen, I care about you enough to be concerned about not only your mental health but also your physical health. It doesn’t seem like you’ve been eating well these past few days and I can’t have a malnourished agent on the fields.”
You clenched your jaw and picked up your gaze to meet his angry one. Nodding lightly, you knew he was right, and that by your actions you were putting the whole team in danger. “I’ll do better sir.”
He nodded and walked off, leaving you alone with your running thoughts.
-
There was a hit on Doyle. You and Morgan have been secretly working on his case for some months now. Hiding it from the rest of the team, especially Hotch, you didn’t want him knowing because he would take the whole blame for it — and you didn’t want Strauss to change your unit chief.
“Morgan, we got something.” I strutted into his office holding a few papers, my voice a harsh whisper.
“Please tell me it’s something good.”
“It’s more than that, I think this will help us make a breakthrough.” I tossed the papers over to him, the information was found by Garcia, who was also the only one that knew of our doings.
“This… these are Declan’s foster parents.”
I hummed and crossed my arms, watching as he read over the papers with furrowed eyebrows. His jaw clenched tightly as I saw the gears in his mind work.
“We need to tell Hotch and the rest of the team. If we want to catch him we have to come up clean.”
-
“So what the two of you are saying is that… for the past few months you’ve been tracking and monitoring a deadly terrorist without the Bureaus' consent?”
“Yes… but Hotch, we couldn’t just sit around and do nothing while he got away Scott free with killing Emily!” Morgan argued, his pulse quickening as you cringed internally at the mention of your dead girlfriends name.
“I don’t like this. And after we’re finished with this case we’re going to have a long and hard talk.”
You both nodded, like little kids that were being told off for getting into trouble. Walking out of the chief office, you follow Hotch into the briefing room smiling at each other.
-
“I know someone who can help with that.” JJ smiled and moved out of the doorway, revealing… Emily.
Emily Prentiss in all her glory. Though she looked and felt a bit different than before, it was an odd feeling, one that you couldn’t put your finger on. Nonetheless, your heart ached for her as she made her way around the room hugging and saying her hellos. She got to the end of the round table; standing face to face with you, a soft smile gracing her lips.
“Hey.” She whispered so softly you barely heard it.
“I— Emily… what? You, you died in my arms Emily.”
“I know, I was dead for a moment or two, but I had to leave. You have to understand—“
“Okay guys, leave that for later, we have to get rolling.” Aaron spoke up, his go bag in his hand as the team began to leave for the plane.
-
You were sitting outside on Rossis’ patio. The night was warm and the stars were bright, you could still hear faint music coming from the inside of the house. You sighed solemnly as you sipped your drink.
“Is this seat taken?”
You didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Your shoulders shrugged in response as you felt the couch dip. Clenching your jaw, you didn’t dare to look at her.
“I really am sorry, I didn’t know— I mean, I wasn’t thinking about how it would make you feel. I just wanted you all to be safe, and you wouldn’t be with me there—“
“You don’t know that.” A bitter whisper left my lips.
“Doyle was targeting families, you are my family.”
“We could’ve protected you, I wouldn’t let that son of a bitch lay another finger on you—“
“You know that’s not true, he probably would’ve killed you if I stayed here.”
You let the words sit in the air before exhaling a sigh. With a shake of your head, you stood up and down your drink.
“Yeah, well that wouldn’t hurt as much as you dying in my arms. The love of my life… dead.”
“Baby, I really am sorry.”
Her warm hand found its way around your bicep, trying to turn you around but you shook her off. “Don’t call me that, we’re not together Emily.”
“We never broke up.”
“That’s because you don’t break up with dead people. Gosh Em… what did you think would happen? That I would forget everything and just run into your arms happily? I— I can’t”.
Your legs started to make their way over to the door, wanting nothing more than to leave and never face your ex lover again.
“I thought you loved me?” Her broken voice left an echo in your head. Your own eyes glossing over with tears, just like hers.
“I thought I loved you. But I can't love someone that I don’t know. You come back, and it’s like you’re a totally different person.”
“I’m still the same girl you met 4 years ago! You know me, we were together for half that time. Baby please—“
“No, I knew my Emily… I don't know who this new Emily is. And quite frankly I’m tired of this bullshit that everyone is pulling, acting like everything is fine and the same.” Shaking your head you turn around to face the dark haired woman.
“I can’t be with you anymore Emily. You broke my trust, and my heart and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from that. I don’t know how to… I can’t.”
Without a single other word you turned and left. But you didn’t go through the house, instead you took the garden doors. Slipping past the other guests you let out a sigh of relief you began your journey home.
The only thing that was on your mind was Emily’s cries after you, the way her hand fleeting tried to stop your body from moving. How crushed she looked when this time, you were the one to walk away from her. But you didn’t care, or just not enough to stay.
You went through your healing, got better and started to move on, she had no right to come back and act like nothing happened. Not now, not ever, and you were going to do everything in your power to make sure that stays true.
The end.
#emily prentiss imagine#emily prentiss x you#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss x fem!reader#Emily Prentiss x male!reader#Emily Prentiss x gn!reader#criminal minds x reader#reader holds grudges#pretty quick paced#I’m back from the dead#maybe a part two someday#emily prentiss angst#angst#angst no comfort#I love spreading sadness
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Oh God, here we go!!
With a mouthful of Donno’s Special of the Day sandwich, Beau came to stand behind a whole group of people who had gathered around a laptop screen propped up on his desk.
Ahaha I love this mention! 😂
In all honesty, he had a confession to make: He’d never watched a single of Diane’s videos to the end. He knew you’d probably watched them a thousand times, but he couldn’t do it. He had watched parts of it, sure, but never the bitter end. He didn’t know how you'd done it. He always figured you were a lot stronger than him.
Hmm interesting...
Turner hadn’t frisked you again – big mistake.
Ha! I love her, she's such a badass.~
Why couldn’t it have been the Friends set in Hollywood? Instead, you had to visit Diane Newton’s arts and crafts project.
He gasped a breathless sound, his eyes growing wide and white. You let go and stepped back. You’d never killed someone before – not like this at least.
Ho lord, I was on the edge of my seat throughout this ENTIRE scene, proverbially biting my nails. 😬😬 Especially wincing at this part:
The roaring Grizzly kicked you right into your bear trap injury. With a painful scream and a searing pain, you fell to your knees and clasped your wound.
(Good metaphor/play on words there though 😅)
You wanted to scream till your lungs were depleted of all oxygen, but you didn’t have enough air for a breakdown in this bunker. You took one last deep breath to ground yourself and closed your eyes.
Ugh, she's so much stronger than me. I'd be a blubbering mess on the floor, poor thing. 😭😭 But it was so interesting watching her try and figure out the puzzle of this room (and Diane's game). I love those moments where you as the audience know there's an answer here somewhere, but you just have to watch on edge as the person works it out in desperation. 🥲
And on the flip side, this is torture for Beau, a man of action, to not be able to do anything. To just wait and see if anything changes.
You stopped then, your body slumping against the wall, too drained to write any more. You didn’t need to. The message was clear.
This is so truly intense -- it's cinematic in so many ways, and I'm loving this suspense...
But most of all, you had thought about Beau. Simple things. The color of his pine green eyes. The smell of his leathery cologne. The sound of his hearty laugh. The warmth of his large hands. Would you ever see, hear, or feel those things again?
And then – water. Cold, relentless water began pouring in, cascading through the new hole in the roof, spilling across the floor in an uncontrolled flood. Fuck.
Oh God, oh God, oh Goddddddd!!!!!!!
He stumbled back onto his feet, his trembling hands picking up a small, golden band. His chest seized. The ring.
Oooh I'm sensing some symbolism here, despite the gravity of the situation!! lol GO, BEAU, GO!!!!
His mind kept circling back to you. You were trapped down there. Trapped and drowning. I’m coming, darlin’. Hold on.
GAH! This is the delicious White Knight-saving angst that I live for. 🥹
Tears blurred his vision as he pressed his ear to your chest, listening for any sign of life.
When I tell you my heart was in my throat during this entire scene, but this is the part that gave me stomach flips...
And for the first time in days, Beau let himself breathe as he steadied your trembling frame in his embrace.
But there was one thing you had always cherished during your involuntary stays: Pudding.
Lmaoo this kind of pudding??
While your brain had adjusted, your heart remained steadfast. Randy had recognized it too and conceded. When he left your bedside, you sent him a smile with tears brimming in your eyes. A chapter closed. A song ended. But your heart was at peace.
Aww in a way I do still feel bad for Randy, but "dissolved;" I think that's the right word for it as well. I love that last line in the scene. 💙
Beau and Randy's parting was bittersweet, but Beau's apprehension coming to the reader's hospital room was honestly kind of adorable (since we already know where this is heading) lol.
“Oh, it was,” Beau confirmed, your heart expanding with a breath of relief. “Going with an insanity defense here. So… what does that mean?” Musingly, you bit down on your lip. “I don’t know. Guess you’ll have to come closer and find out.” Beau’s lips hiked to a wide, genuine smile for the first time in days. His feet began moving toward you.
Awww haha, they're so cute!! I would've loved to see that reunion kiss. 🥹 But I have a feeling these two are finally off to their happy ending...
“How’s the ankle? That stool looks uncomfortable,” he noted, brushing his beard. His head tilted. “You need a pillow? Imma grab you one. Anything you need, darlin’. Officially retired since yesterday, you know? I’m here all day. Just say the word, and I’ll make it happen.”
Lol that is peak Beau behavior there! I love the rambling and the adorable fussing. Makes my heart so full. ❤️ Especially how she's just like, "sit down and be with me, you fool." 😂
I also found it very interesting how they both decided to retire. They've clearly been through the absolute wringer, plus the whole matter of Beau probably never feeling safe in that office again, and the reader needing time upon time to recover from all that trauma. It's a lovely new chapter for these two to have a quieter life together, whether or not they have kids down the line (though I love that conversation they had. Beau's line of “Look, I’m already retiring from the job – I don’t wanna retire from life,” had me dead lol). 🥹
This was a crazy ride of a series, but beautifully weaved with a lovely finish. Amazing job, my friend!! 💕💕
Polaris – Chapter 13
Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.
Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader
Warnings: 18+, major angst, kidnapping, confined spaces, violence, injuries, drowning, CPR, life-and-death situations, the fluffiest ending (If any of these warnings trigger you, stay away ⚠️🫶)
Word Count: 7.4k
A/N: We're here! Last part, babes 😘 Thank you guys so much for sticking with me on this one. I know it was another wild ride, but I appreciated your sweet, insightful, and funny comments throughout 🥹🤍
Ready? Don't forget to breathe 😉
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List
Chapter 13: Sure And Certain
“What’s she doing?”
With a mouthful of Donno’s Special of the Day sandwich, Beau came to stand behind a whole group of people who had gathered around a laptop screen propped up on his desk.
He threw another sandwich wrapped in paper on the desk in front of Randy, who sat comfortably in his chair and nodded a ‘thank you.’ Behind him, Jenny leaned casually against the window sill with an intensely knitted brow. Cassie and Denise, on the other hand, had grabbed themselves a set of uncomfortable, worn chairs from the break room and sat on each side of Randy, staring musingly at the screen.
“I think she’s meditating,” Denise put forth.
“No, I think she’s sleeping,” Jenny said dryly.
“I don’t know…” Cassie’s brow furrowed.
Beau frowned as he stepped forward, stealing a glance at the livestream himself. You were still lying perfectly motionless on the long metal table in the middle of the room. They knew you were alive, though. They had watched you crawl up there and lie down. Sometimes, your eyes were open. Sometimes, they were closed for long periods of time.
“She’s still doing what she’s been doing for eight hours now,” Beau huffed. Honestly, he’d be more worried if it wasn’t so damn frustrating.
“Maybe the poor thing’s in shock after everything she’s been through,” Denise suggested sympathetically.
Beau hoped she wasn’t right. Seeing you give up didn’t sit well with him. He couldn’t watch you lie there alone in the cold until there was no air left anymore.
In all honesty, he had a confession to make: He’d never watched a single of Diane’s videos to the end. He knew you’d probably watched them a thousand times, but he couldn’t do it. He had watched parts of it, sure, but never the bitter end. He didn’t know how you'd done it. He always figured you were a lot stronger than him.
But maybe you’d seen something on those videos he didn’t know but had to.
“Y/N?” Randy scoffed at Denise’s proposal with conviction and shook his head. “No, she wouldn’t give up, and I doubt Turner scared her that much. She put a screwdriver in the guy, for crying out loud,” he argued his objection. “No, she’s thinking.”
Beau hated to agree with Randy but hoped to hell he was right.
“Maybe,” Cassie mused and squinted her eyes at the screen. “I think she’s staring at the light above her.”
With narrowed eyes, everyone drew in closer to the screen and observed you.
“I think Cass is right,” Jenny said and retreated to her old position, smirking.
Beau frowned anew and flailed his arms. “Why?”
Fucking Hal Turner.
He got you with a shovel, tied your hands, hauled you back to the cabin and sedated you.
You woke with a few meager slaps across your face before groggily being dragged through the woods at night on unsteady legs. You slipped in and out of consciousness a few times, but you knew Turner wasn’t strong enough to carry you, so he had to keep you awake enough to walk, but sedated enough to not fight back.
You, however, tried to memorize and plan as much as your dazed mind possibly let you. You remembered how long you’d walked from the cabin to the bunker – about thirty minutes. You knew which direction you’d walked as you’d glanced up at the stars – north. And you knew you had hiked slightly up, but not more than twelve degrees. You remembered the faint sounds of a river splashing close by.
Most importantly, you could still feel the screwdriver tucked into your sock in your left boot.
Turner hadn’t frisked you again – big mistake.
As soon as you’d reached the spot of the supposed bunker, you frowned when Turner removed a pile of leaves, moss and dirt from the forest floor and opened the metal hatch that hid underneath.
Oh, hell no…
You weren’t getting in there. If you hadn’t known it before, you surely knew it now.
You would’ve been fine with the cabin because you knew Beau and the department would eventually find it. He’d get a list of their properties and find it. Denise had been in charge of those, and she’d been meticulous.
You would’ve been fine with an above-ground bunker, or even halfway above, too. Once the team would find the cabin, they’d know Turner and you couldn’t have gone far. They’d find the blood and test it, realizing with relief that most of it wasn’t yours. They’d know you’d be in the general area, and Beau would move heaven and earth to find you.
But this thing? They’d never fucking find you here.
Roughly, Turner shoved you down the tight metal stairway, leading to a room you knew only too well from videos. Now, you were here and saw it all for real, like glimpsing behind the scenes of a movie set.
Why couldn’t it have been the Friends set in Hollywood? Instead, you had to visit Diane Newton’s arts and crafts project.
Hal Turner cut your ties – again. And you saw it as your perfect way to escape. Again.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
With your elbows and shoulders, you shoved Turner backwards and bent down, quickly retrieving the screwdriver from your boot. You spun around and thrust it straight into his left carotid artery.
He gasped a breathless sound, his eyes growing wide and white. You let go and stepped back.
You’d never killed someone before – not like this at least.
But then Turner inhaled a deep breath of air – strained, angry, fighting. And you finally understood where the phrase white-hot rage stemmed from.
The roaring Grizzly kicked you right into your bear trap injury. With a painful scream and a searing pain, you fell to your knees and clasped your wound.
He then fled up the stairs like a rat through a sewer cover, tossing the hatch shut behind him. There was the sound of a thick lock before some shuffling followed. At least he couldn’t have done a good job on covering up the entrance. Maybe they’d find you easier this way.
Better yet, you hoped Turner would succumb to his fatal injury not too far from the hatch. If they found his body close by, they could find you too, right?
At least you’d gotten the bastard…
You wanted to scream till your lungs were depleted of all oxygen, but you didn’t have enough air for a breakdown in this bunker. You took one last deep breath to ground yourself and closed your eyes.
Then, you opened them.
The bright neon light flickered above as your eyes darted around the room. The space was sparse, concrete walls peeling in places, as though even the structure was trying to escape. You didn’t want to think too much about how long you would be trapped here.
You already knew this place by heart and what would happen if you didn’t get out.
At the edge of the corner, sat a row of rusty metal lockers. Shuffling over on your good leg, you opened the shrieking door and found that the lockers held various odds and ends – tools, cans, an assortment of chemical bottles with faded labels, and a single, cracked lightbulb resting on its side.
The other victims had received these items as well but never pieced enough of it together to escape. A few drank the chemical bottles for a quicker death out of sheer desperation. While you unfortunately couldn’t solve Diane’s little riddle either, you swore to yourself poison would never be a last resort.
You’d seen those deaths – they had neither been quick nor painless.
You found a first-aid kit as well and lowered yourself to the cold ground, bandaging your ankle. As you tightened the bandage to stop the blood flow, your eyes glanced up the shelves.
Your breath hitched. In the back of your mind, a vague memory from your 7th grade science teacher stirred – something about pressure, something about triggering a chain reaction. You tried to push it away but the thought wouldn’t leave. Maybe an escape was possible after all. There were things you could use – you just needed to figure out how.
The jar of white powder caught your eye. It was too fine to be salt. The label was half-scratched off, but you could make out the word "sulfate." Next to it, a small container of copper wiring lay scattered across the shelf – tiny, thin strands coiled tightly like little snakes, their sharp ends glinting in the harsh neon light.
You pulled at your sleeves nervously, staring at the broken lightbulb once more. If you twisted it carefully, the filament inside would snap. Maybe. Then there was the sharp wire… You let the idea float in your mind for just a moment longer before shaking it off.
And there was that other thing. Something buried deeper in the corner, an oily rag, half-soaked in a pungent smell you couldn’t quite place. You made a mental note. They weren’t much, but they were something.
If you could just piece it all together…
Tiredly, you heaved yourself onto the large metal table in the middle of the room. It was harsh, cold, and uncomfortable, but it was all you had. You lied down on your back and stared at the ceiling, at the flickering neon light above you. Then, you closed your eyes again.
Think, think, think…
For hours, Beau had now stared at the grainy footage, watching your unmoving form. The neon light flickered overhead, casting long shadows against the cold, cement walls of the bunker. His hands were trembling as he gripped the armrests of his chair, his body taut with the weight of helplessness.
The others had left his office a while ago, scrambling to find a way to get you out. There was a search going on, a team of skilled rescuers turning over every stone in the general vicinity of the cabin. Beau knew you couldn’t be far from there. And still, he feared he wouldn’t find you in time.
Truthfully, he knew the only one that could get you out was you. If you just stopped lying there…
Nothing. Not even a twitch. What the hell were you thinking about?
You were alive. He knew you were, reminding himself of that fact on an hourly basis. But for all the good it did, it didn’t matter. The silence on the feed was more suffocating than any sound.
But then…
A subtle movement. A shift in the shadows, so slight that at first, he thought it was just his eyes playing tricks on him.
His heart skipped.
Your fingers twitched, just enough to catch his attention. And then, slowly, agonizingly, you dragged yourself up, struggling to sit. He watched the quiet shuffle of your body across the concrete floor. You were alive. You were still fighting.
“Guys!” his gruff voice called loudly for the cavalry, but he didn’t wait for them to flood into his office.
Beau leaned forward in his chair, holding his breath. His heart hammered in his chest as you lifted your head, your eyes flicking briefly to the camera – aware. You knew he was watching.
Your movements were shaky, too weak for anything swift, but they were purposeful. You scanned the room with desperation. The broken lightbulb in the rusty locker, jagged glass fragments scattered on the shelf, caught your attention.
You reached for it.
Beau’s stomach twisted. No, don’t…
But it was too late. You pressed the sharp edge against the skin of your palm, wincing with the effort as blood began to bead at the surface. His breath hitched, fingers curling into fists at his sides. The blood flowed in slow, steady streams, painting your hand.
You didn’t flinch.
You moved with a practiced precision, grimly intent. With shaky fingers, you scooped some blood on your pointer finger and pressed the pad to the wall, your arm trembling as you began to write.
Seismograph.
Beau’s eyes locked onto the word, his brow furrowing.
Seismograph?
You were so weak. You could barely hold yourself up, and yet, you were still thinking. Still trying. Then you turned to the wall once more, collecting more blood on your finger as you struggled to form the second word.
3 hours.
You stopped then, your body slumping against the wall, too drained to write any more. You didn’t need to. The message was clear.
The feed cut to static for a brief moment, the camera buzzing with distortion, before it returned to the silent, unchanging image of your still form against the wall. But Beau wasn’t looking at you anymore.
His mind raced, blood thundering in his ears. Seismograph. 3 hours.
A tremor ran through him – an earthquake in his chest.
Seismograph. You were giving him a clue. Something seismic. A signal of some kind. His gut twisted. He was supposed to know what it meant.
3 hours. What did that mean? Three hours before something? Three hours after something?
He didn’t have time to analyze it. You were sending him a lifeline. And whatever it meant, he was going to find you.
“What’s going on?” Jenny was the first to thunder into his office, her heart beating fast in her ribcage. She came to stand behind Beau and glanced at the screen, her brow knitting at the crimson words on the concrete wall in the same way his had. “Seismograph. 3 hours,” the blonde read aloud. “What does it mean?”
Cassie stood quietly in the doorframe, listening and thinking. “What is in those lockers?”
“I don’t know. We never found a bunker before, and Diane sure as hell ain’t telling us,” Beau huffed frustratedly.
“But there are chemicals of some kind,” Jenny pointed out, squinting her eyes at the laptop.
“Maybe she’s building a bomb,” Cassie proposed.
Beau pondered the theory for a beat. Then, he nodded. “We already know the area of the bunker. We could probably find her exact location through the tremors.”
“With a seismograph,” Jenny finished the thought. “Well, let’s hope she doesn’t blow herself up first.”
Beau hoped that, too. He didn’t even know you possessed bomb-making skills, but he figured you hadn’t known that fact about yourself either. This was by far not a thoroughly planned undertaking.
“Alright, get a damn seismograph here. I don’t care where you get it or what it costs. We’ve got three hours,” Beau barked his orders with a racing heart.
Your message had just bought him time, and he wasn’t going to waste it. You were still alive. He could still save you. And he wasn’t going to stop until he did.
Your breath came in short, labored gasps as you hunched over the crude metal table in the dark, sterile bunker. The faint hum of the camera feeding into the livestream echoed through the silence, the red light blinking softly as its lens captured your every movement, broadcasting your quiet panic.
You knew Beau was watching. They all probably were. You could almost feel their eyes on you, their silent judgment, their hope that this would work. They’d see the sweat glistening on your brow, the faint tremor in your hands as you worked on your little science fair project.
But it wasn’t fear that made you shake now. It was the cold certainty that time was running out.
You carefully twisted the wire around the small, makeshift device you’d cobbled together from the limited supplies at your disposal. Every movement was deliberate, every breath controlled, even as your mind raced a marathon. You lifted the device to your ear, listening for the faint click as you tightened the final screw. Done.
The one thing they had to get right was the seismic readings.
The bomb was crude – imperfect – but it was all you had. The plan was simple: blow the door open if you could, cause a seismic tremor, and hope the team could triangulate your location. They would track the explosion on the seismograph, find your coordinates, and come for you.
If you were lucky.
Maybe you should leave another message behind for him. In those hours you had lain on the table and pondered, you had thought about your escape. You had also thought about various torturous ways to kill Diane. You had celebrated your little win against Turner. But most of all, you had thought about Beau.
Simple things. The color of his pine green eyes. The smell of his leathery cologne. The sound of his hearty laugh. The warmth of his large hands. Would you ever see, hear, or feel those things again?
A tear streaked your cheek that you swiftly wiped away. Sobbing would cost you too much goddamn air. You couldn’t afford it.
You stole one last glance at the camera, your face a grim mask of resolve. Then you moved quickly, setting the device in place. You looked at the door on top of the steps – solid metal, bolted shut, impossible to open without the right tools.
Tools you didn’t have.
You hurried down the stairs and pushed the metal table onto its side, using it as a shield from the blast as you hunched down low behind it. It had been a little over three hours. It was time. With a sharp breath, you pushed the button of the remote detonator.
The explosion hit like a fist. The sound was deafening, but muffled in the confined space. Your ears rang as the shockwave slammed into you, throwing you back against the cold, unforgiving concrete wall. Your head spun, and for a moment, everything went black.
Then came the tremor.
It rippled through the ground like a violent pulse. The bunker groaned – metal creaking, concrete cracking. The lights flickered and went out, plunging you into near-total darkness, save for the dim emergency glow above the door.
And then, with a deep, bone-rattling crack, something shifted above you.
You scrambled to your feet, disoriented. What the hell was that?
A series of sharp, cracking sounds echoed from the ceiling, followed by a wet, muffled splintering. Your breath caught in your throat as a large root – gnarled and thick as a limb – suddenly pierced through the bunker’s ceiling, splintering the metal and concrete. The roots of a large tree slithered down – a slow, creeping thing – and it didn’t stop. It tore through the ceiling like it had been waiting for this moment, its jagged edges scraping against the walls.
And then – water. Cold, relentless water began pouring in, cascading through the new hole in the roof, spilling across the floor in an uncontrolled flood.
Fuck.
Your heart pounded wildly as you stumbled backward, the water already rising around your ankles, creeping steadily toward your knees. You could hear the steady drip of water splashing against the cold, metal floor, each drop sending a ripple through your chest.
The livestream camera remained on, the blinking red light still steady, but your mind was running a mile a minute – panic rising like a tidal wave. You had no time. You had to move, had to act. But the water was already rising faster than you could think. The air was thick, the walls seemed to be closing in on you, and the roots above groaned ominously as if the earth itself was about to swallow you whole.
You ran toward the door, your boots splashing through the growing puddle. But aside from causing a giant hole in the ceiling, the bomb hadn’t done enough damage to escape. The root’s tendrils were still creeping down from above, twisting around the ceiling. You could hear the scrape of it, its thick fingers reaching into the dark corners of the room.
The sound of the water filled your ears as it surged up around your waist. You stumbled, falling to one knee as the icy liquid engulfed you. Your chest tightened, panic clawing at your throat.
It was too much. The explosion, the quake, the roots, and now the rising water – everything was converging at once. A part of you knew this was it. You wouldn’t get out. They wouldn’t get here in time to save you. But a small flicker of hope was still alive in your heart.
You clutched the camera’s wire, the blinking red light still visible in the murk, as if it was the last lifeline you had left.
“Please,” you breathed, although you knew they couldn’t hear you, but your voice was barely audible over the rush of water anyways. “Please, find me.”
The woods were dense, the trees thick with fog and shadows. Beau ran through the underbrush, his boots pounding against the damp earth, the scent of pine and wet leaves filling his lungs. Sweat stung his green eyes, his breath coming in ragged bursts as he pushed his body beyond its limits. His heart thundered in his chest, not from the exertion, but from the terror building inside him, growing with each passing second.
He’d found it.
The seismograph had done its job. The tremor from the explosion had sent ripples through the earth, and in those ripples, he’d pinpointed the location. There was no time to think, no time to second-guess. He didn’t know how much time you had left, but the second the signal went off and the icy water of a nearby river had wound its way into the confined space, rising like a tide as it flooded the bunker, he’d known it could only be minutes till you took your last breath.
Beau’s mind reeled at the thought.
He stumbled over a fallen log, his eyes never leaving the ground ahead of him. He was so close. It had to be here. He had seconds to make it. He knew it had to be deep. The bunker was buried beneath the forest floor, hidden like a trap, and there was only one way in: a hatch maybe, barely visible among the trees, the earth heavy with moss and years of neglect. He had to get there – now.
He could hear the team searching all around him, crying with calls of your name that echoed through the trees. As he stared up through the tops of the towering pines, he could see the North Star twinkling brightly above him. His heart twinged. His gaze dropped and then landed on the far beam of his flashlight. Something flickered in the distance, just a few yards away from him, buried in the moss.
He stumbled back onto his feet, his trembling hands picking up a small, golden band. His chest seized.
The ring.
His ears picked up the babbling sounds of water. The river was close, only a few feet away. That had to be it. You’d left him another sign.
Grabbing his flashlight, his hands hastily searched the ground. His fingers brushed a thick patch of bramble, and then – there. His breath halted. Metal.
The hatch.
He skidded to a stop, his hands shaking as he dropped to his knees and cleared the leaves and brush away. The metal was a bit busted and bent out of shape, probably from the bomb, but the bolt that kept it tightly shut was still in tact. His fingers fumbled for the lock, every second stretching longer than the last.
“It’s here!” Beau yelled loudly, calling the others for help. “She’s here!”
His mind kept circling back to you. You were trapped down there. Trapped and drowning.
I’m coming, darlin’. Hold on.
Finally, his fingers found the latch, and with a metallic groan, the hatch creaked open.
The stench of damp earth hit him first – the cold, stagnant air of a place that had been shut off from the world for too long. His flashlight flickered as he shined it down into the narrow opening. The steps below were steep, the darkness absolute. He could hear the distant drip of water, and with it, a rising sense of urgency.
He didn’t waste time. Without a second thought, he grabbed the flashlight and began to descend, the metal of the hatch scraping against the edges of the door as he pulled it wide open. His breath caught as he stepped into the narrow stairwell.
The moment he hit the bottom, the sound of rushing water was unmistakable.
The tunnel was flooded. The water was rising fast, covering the floor in murky, black waves. The small concrete room at the base of the stairs had become a watery tomb, the level inching toward the ceiling.
He shouted your name, his voice crackling in the damp air.
But there was no answer.
Beau pushed forward, his heart in his throat, eyes scanning every inch of the flooded room. Your presence was all he could feel – your spirit, your strength, your last message. He had to find you.
A sudden thud echoed through the chamber, the faint sound of something – or someone – shifting beneath the water.
Beau’s eyes locked on the back wall of the room, where the water was thickest, swirling around a pile of debris. His mind screamed. The seconds were melting away, and he couldn’t afford to waste a single one.
The wall was crumbling under the pressure, but the thing that struck him wasn’t just the damage. It was the stillness. There was no movement. No air.
His pulse spiked as he waded through the rising water, kicking through the murk with his boots, moving faster now, hands trembling as he shoved aside debris.
Please, please, please…
And then, beneath the surface, a hand – limp, floating like a ghost. Beau lunged, his fingers brushing against your wrist, cold and unyielding.
He cried your name again, his voice hoarse with panic as he pulled you to him, cradling your body against his chest.
Your skin was ice-cold. Your hair matted against your face, your body limp in his arms. You were unconscious – or worse.
Don’t you dare be dead. Don’t you dare.
Beau’s breath came in harsh bursts, his hands fumbling against you, trying to find any sign of life. The water was rising too fast.
He wasn’t going to lose you. Not like this.
With a single, desperate motion, he hoisted you into his arms. He didn’t stop. His feet pounded the water-soaked concrete as he bolted back toward the stairs, his lungs burning, the world blurring around him.
Get out. Get out.
He could feel the water rising behind him, flooding the room with the force of a tide. He didn’t know if the two of you would make it. He didn’t know if he could make it.
But he was going to try. He was going to fight like hell to keep you alive.
The hatch was there, just ahead, the only way out. He pushed harder, faster, as the water reached his knees, then his waist. Every breath was a battle. Every second felt like an eternity.
With one final push, he reached the top of the stairs, stumbling out into the fresh air, gasping for breath, his legs weak beneath him. He laid you on the ground, your limp body draped across the earth.
Beau’s hands were shaking as he knelt beside you. “Darlin’,” he whispered, shaking you gently.
Nothing.
Tears blurred his vision as he pressed his ear to your chest, listening for any sign of life.
A faint, fragile beat.
You were still with him.
He could barely breathe, panic threatening to swallow him whole, but he knew he had to keep it together.
He leaned over your body, his hands moving quickly. “Come on, darlin’. Come on…” His voice cracked as he positioned his hands, interlocking his fingers over your sternum. He gave two hard compressions, the sound of his palms meeting your chest too loud in the thick silence.
Still nothing. Your skin was frozen, your lips tinged blue.
His breath hitched, and he started again – one, two, three…
His heart hammered in his chest as he leaned down, pinching your nose and sealing his mouth over yours. He breathed into you, feeling the faint rise of your chest beneath him.
Please, please, don’t leave me.
He gave you another breath, then returned to the chest compressions – one, two, three…
Time seemed to stretch on endlessly, each moment more desperate than the last. His hands moved faster, his fingers slick with water and sweat as he pressed into you again and again. He wasn’t thinking. He couldn’t.
He hadn’t even taken note of the crowd that had gathered around him, watching the dire spectacle.
Finally – after what felt like a lifetime – your body jerked beneath his hands. You gasped, a harsh, ragged breath, and Beau nearly collapsed in relief. He cradled your head gently, his green eyes searching your face as you coughed weakly, water spilling from your mouth.
“You’re okay. You’re okay,” he breathed into your hair, his voice thick with emotion and eyes filled with tears as he kissed your crown repeatedly, his hold tight around your body.
You opened your eyes, just a sliver at first, and then you blinked, your hand weakly reaching for his cheek before it dropped to his chest.
“Beau…” you whispered, your voice barely a breath before you let out the first few sobs and coiled against him.
“It’s alright. I’m here.”
And for the first time in days, Beau let himself breathe as he steadied your trembling frame in his embrace.
Hospitals weren’t your favorite thing in the world. In fact, you had pretty much avoided them your whole life. You’d screamed your way through your tonsils surgery when you were five. You refused to get your broken arm cast when you were fourteen. But there was one thing you had always cherished during your involuntary stays:
Pudding.
Randy was the first person that stopped by early in the morning. You didn’t know if that decision had been a collusive one, agreed upon by the whole team, but you were grateful for the visit – more grateful when he brought you your sweet treat.
Something had been going on, though, while you were locked up – you could tell. As you’d clung to Beau’s chest last night in the forest, you caught Randy in the crowd around you before he ducked his head and retreated into the shadows. Your heart broke at the sight.
Beau didn’t leave your side, though, even riding in the ambulance with you while reassuring you throughout. He held your hand tightly, but his shoulders were stiff. And when they wheeled you out of the emergency room, the doors closed in front of him. You hadn’t seen or heard from him since.
You’d only slept for about five hours, but it had been a deep slumber. You had been out like a light. But as soon as you woke, you felt the aches of your body. There wasn’t a single limb or organ that didn’t groan in pain. Your ankle was the worst, though – the doctors told you you were lucky you got to keep it by the degree of infection it had suffered. The murky water of the river surely hadn’t helped cleaning it.
Sepsis, hypothermia, drowning, and lifelong trauma were just a few of the things you had to recover from.
There was also the dissolution of your marriage – you’d finally found the right term. Not widowed, not divorced – dissolved.
Randy stayed for three hours, and you had an honest and long talk. Oddly enough, being in his presence didn’t feel strange anymore. It felt familiar.
While your brain had adjusted, your heart remained steadfast. Randy had recognized it too and conceded. When he left your bedside, you sent him a smile with tears brimming in your eyes.
A chapter closed. A song ended. But your heart was at peace.
Beau’s heart pounded furiously in his chest as he stood glued outside your hospital room. Every laugh that echoed through the door felt like a gut punch.
Randy had asked to speak to you first. Beau had granted him the request – not that it had been really up to him. But Randy had been gracious last night, and the sheriff knew it couldn’t have been easy.
Beau had arrived at the hospital around noon, only to find you and Randy were still talking. Not only talking but laughing. While his heart murmured a tiny bit, he supposed it was a good sign. Who said you had to throw plates or the occasional vase at each other?
Twenty minutes later, Randy finally exited and ran straight into Beau around the corner, who had leaned against the wall and tried to answer the many nosy questions of the group chat. He didn’t know why the hell Cassie had invited him into this one…
“Oh, hey.” Randy chuckled lightly as he bumped into Beau, eyeing him with a suspicious brow. There was the flash of a smirk on his face.
Eager, are we? Beau could read Randy thoughts, even though his former friend refrained from saying them out loud.
“Hey.” Beau’s voice was low. He swallowed thickly as he tried his hardest not to avert his gaze to the linoleum flooring. “How is she?”
“In good spirits,” Randy replied but then paused. “For now. I think the morphine’s kicking in.”
“So, uhm–”
Beau didn’t know where that sentence would end. Flat-out asking Randy how your conversation went would’ve just been pathetically nosy – and rude. His mama had raised him better than that.
“I’m going back to Houston,” Randy still answered the unasked question.
“With, uhm–” Your name hung on the tip of Beau’s tongue before he bit down, noting Randy’s shaking head.
“Don’t push it.”
“Right…” Beau smacked his lips and cleared his throat, his hand scratching the nape of his neck. “So, what about you and me, huh? I know right now’s a stretch, but maybe down the road we could grab a beer?”
Randy’s lips pursed at first – unsure. But after a beat passed, he nodded slightly. “Maybe, yeah.” He hesitated. “Hit me up if you’re ever in Houston, alright?”
“Yeah, alright.” Beau’s lips twitched to a smile of surprise, but he still wished there was more he could do, more he could offer. It didn’t feel enough. “Take care of yourself, okay?”
Randy gave him a tight-lipped nod and patted him on the shoulder as he passed him. “You too.”
Beau watched Randy angle towards the elevators before exhaling a deep breath. Green eyes then drifted to your door. His heart was both elated and heavy. Questions circled in his mind.
What now?
The case was as good as over. Would you leave now? Where would you go? Beau knew your home was in Houston. Should he move back there, too? Would you even want him to? He’d broken up with you. Again. Were you still mad at him for it? He had tried to restrain himself last night, not knowing where the two of you stood. He held your hand in his, even though it was your whole body he wanted to keep holding in his arms.
You’d chosen no one. Maybe this was a day of break-ups for you.
Beau’s knuckles softly knocked on your door before he entered. Unsurely, he stood until your eyes glanced up and found his. A smile rose on your lips.
“Hey, there you are. You just missed Randy,” you said.
At a loss for words, Beau stared at you for a moment, his heart hammering in his chest. You still looked pretty rough – hooked up to IVs, your face and arms covered in bruises and cuts. But at least you were here – alive. There was some color back in your cheeks. Until a few hours ago, he wasn’t sure he’d ever get to see you again.
“Oh, uh, passed him in the hall,” Beau finally said and obnoxiously cleared his throat. “Said he was going back to Houston.”
“Yeah, he told me. I gave him my apartment,” you said, your voice a casual melody as you ignored the tension that was building between you two.
Beau’s brows shot up. “You gave him your place?”
“Least I could do. I sold his home.”
“Where are you gonna stay?”
“Oh, I don’t know yet. Guess I’m kinda homeless now. Again,” you said and hid the hint of a smile. You could see his wires were crossed.
“Hmm,” he hummed and shifted on his heels.
“Thank you,” you then said softly, trying to fight the tears that pricked your eyes. You swallowed heavily. “For saving me, you know? Bringing me back to life…”
“Don’t mention it,” he replied with a tight-lipped smile and a shake of his head, although a lump formed in the back of his throat at the haunting image of you, limb in his arms. He never wanted to see something like this again. He never wanted to feel that crippling, numbing fear ever again.
You snorted slightly at his understatement, fumbling with your fingers in your lap. “Feel like I have to. They told me you gave me CPR for three minutes straight. They said I was pretty much gone.”
“They’re exaggerating. It wasn’t that long,” he brushed off. “‘Sides, I wasn’t gonna let you die on my watch.”
“Like I said, thanks,” you reiterated and sent him a smile. “So, why are you standing so far away like I’m radioactive?”
Beau pursed his lips. “Well, you are kinda my kryptonite, darlin’.” He scratched the back of his neck, his boots still not moving closer. “Don’t really know where we stand, y’know? I mean, last time… that morning… I guess I’m tryna say I’m sorry for puttin’ you through that. So, on a scale from one to ten, how mad are you at me right now?”
“Well, if you put it like that… zero.” You grinned teasingly. “Hard to stay mad at you, considering you’ve saved my life, you know? I’m willing to forget your momentary stupidity. Well, if it really was momentary…”
“Oh, it was,” Beau confirmed, your heart expanding with a breath of relief. “Going with an insanity defense here. So… what does that mean?”
Musingly, you bit down on your lip. “I don’t know. Guess you’ll have to come closer and find out.”
Beau’s lips hiked to a wide, genuine smile for the first time in days. His feet began moving toward you.
Enjoying the warm rays of sunlight on your face, you exhaled blissfully as you sat outside the trailer, leaning comfortably back in your chair.
“There ya go – one extra black, extra strong cup of joe.” Beau handed you your favorite mug, his pine green eyes drifting to your injured leg, propped up on a wooden stool in front of you.
“Thank you,” you replied with a smile and practically inhaled the black liquid, its warmth filling you.
“How’s the ankle? That stool looks uncomfortable,” he noted, brushing his beard. His head tilted. “You need a pillow? Imma grab you one. Anything you need, darlin’. Officially retired since yesterday, you know? I’m here all day. Just say the word, and I’ll make it happen.”
Amused, you laughed a little. “I don’t need a pillow. The ankle’s fine. Just sit down next to me and enjoy the sun, will you?”
“It’s freezing.”
“I like how the snow twinkles in the sun,” you said and patted the chair next to you. With a groan, Beau sat down, wrapping his suede jacket a little tighter around himself while you sat cozily draped in the Sherpa jacket you had stolen from his closet. It was big and wide and warm and smelled heavenly like him. “‘Sides, I have a pretty nice jacket to keep me warm.” He frowned a little at you, but an amused smile twitched on his lips. “You said I should make myself comfortable – anything I wanted.”
“Didn’t think you’d raid my closet,” he huffed playfully.
“Hey, I only came here with a tiny carry-on.”
You’d been released from the hospital last night after spending a full week there. In the meantime, Beau had decided to hang up the sheriff’s hat, handing the badge off to Jenny – you’d fully agreed with the decision. You knew his heart hadn’t been in it for a while now.
He’d also asked you to move in.
And moreover, you’d finished your last reports and then handed in your resignation at the FBI. One serial killer kidnapping was enough for you. Diane had showed you where your limit was, and that was okay. You looked forward to a quiet life with the man beside you. It was its own adventure. God knows Diane’s life wouldn’t be as happy and peaceful behind bars.
Neither of you had spoken to her since your rescue. Sheriff Hoyt had handled all things on that end. By the amount of evidence they had to go through, Ted even surmised her trial wouldn’t start until three years from now. Until then, Beau and you had promised each other you wouldn’t waste another thought on her.
Well, you supposed you had to waste some thoughts on her. A big publisher from New York had already approached you about a book deal – and the money was more than good.
“Guess we’ll have to go down to Houston to get your stuff once you’re back on your feet,” Beau said.
Musingly, you scrunched your nose and hummed. “Not sure that’s necessary. It’s not gonna fit in the trailer anyways – not with your extensive closet.”
Amused, Beau pursed his lips and chuckled. He rubbed a hand through his beard. “Yeah, I was thinking about that… Maybe we should move. Get a bigger place, you know?”
“Do they make bigger Airstreams?” you murmured teasingly into your mug, cocking an eyebrow.
His tongue poked the inside of his cheek. “I was thinking more along the lines of a house. A ranch, maybe.”
“What about a houseboat?”
“Nah, that wouldn’t work with the kids. Try keeping a toddler in a life jacket all day,” Beau quipped, shaking his head. He didn’t even seem to notice what had slipped out of his mouth.
Your brow creased. “Kids?”
His wide eyes found yours, mouth opening and closing. He let out nervous breath. “Yeah, uh, something else I wanted to talk to you about…”
“Are you pregnant?” you joked and snorted into your coffee. Then, your brow furrowed. “Wait, am I? Did the doctor say something to you? Why would you smuggle tequila into my room if you knew?”
“No one’s pregnant, darlin’…” Beau laughed softly, his hand reaching out to cover your thigh. “I was just thinking maybe more a down-the-line kinda thing. In the, uh, near future, you know?”
You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “Well, uhm, I didn’t think that was on table. We’ve never talked about it. I mean, I honestly didn’t think you’d want to…”
“Kinda gettin’ tired of people always assuming things about me,” Beau retorted with a little smirk. He squeezed your thigh. “Kids are on the table, darlin’.”
“Huh.”
Clearing his throat, Beau leaned forward in his seat. “You know, I had a little chat with Randy…”
You scoffed in surprise. “He actually told you?”
“Bigger question is, why didn’t you tell me?” Beau’s brow raised almost scoldingly. He was a pretty great dad.
“Honestly? Because it’s none of your business. That was between me and my then-late husband,” you replied with a sharpness that matched his look – there was a playfulness lying underneath, though. You both knew the other had a point. You exhaled a long sigh. “Look, that was four years ago. A lot has changed since then. I haven’t really thought about it since Randy’s funeral. Then Mexico happened. God knows we were nowhere near ready for a conversation like this…”
You gave him a shrug of your shoulders and sipped on your coffee.
“So, you don’t want kids?”
“Do you?”
Beau chuckled lightly, his fingers tapping the chair’s armrest. “Look, I’m already retiring from the job – I don’t wanna retire from life,” he said. “Sure, for a long time, I wasn’t thinking about another kid, but Emily’s almost off to college. Would be nice to feel needed again, do it all over… I don’t wanna fish every day till I drop.”
You snorted a laugh.
“So? What d’you say?”
Biting down on your lip, you glanced behind you at the Airstream. Then you found his green eyes and grinned. “Yeah, I think we’ll definitely need a bigger place. Maybe something between a houseboat and a ranch?”
Beau could barely contain his smile but played along. “And what would that be?”
It ended up being a lake house. Beau fished every morning. You watched him and the sunrise from the window as you wrote your novel.
The baby arrived by next Christmas.
THE END
I think reader would be unstoppable in an Escape Room 😂
I so hope you enjoyed this last part, loves! What a wonderful journey it's been. Thank you to every single one of you from the bottom of my heart 🤍
And PS: I do have a little future one-shot in mind for them 😉
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no one told me the got darn mobile gacha game of revstar was going to make me feel things like this. help help help
#i’m in the arcana#tamao? girlie? are you okay?#it’s so bittersweet and i’m SO bad with bittersweet#don’t even get me started on tendo maya earased#revue starlight relive#oh look a post
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Just realized that memory lapse today was probably the longest one q!bad has ever had so far, bc dapper said he randomly left in the middle of the night & she’d been searching for him for hours. he was wandering around lost for hours. haha im okay :)
#that’s heartbreaking oh my godd#that entire scene was so so bittersweet#<- just rewatched it#gah)#the part where he couldn’t recognize dapper right in front of him and kept asking if she’d seen dapper had me distraught#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp dapper#his kids can no longer ground him it’s so bad .#‘it’s me dad I’m your son’ 💥💥💥
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The crown of thorns demo,,,,, Andy’s scratchy unfiltered bvb 4 vocals ,,, ,,,,
#they’re so bittersweet to listen to#especially considering everything that was fucking him up at the time you can hear it#like#sorry I’m just thinking so bad#andy posting#andy biersack#black veil brides#bvb 4#also it’s better than the final product okay sorry bye
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k chat sorry to say but I think I’m leaving tumblr
I had a great time on this app, but like, I’m not cut out for tumblr. Like none of my interests are at all popular or heard of on here, and not to be rude or anything, but I don’t like some of yall.
so, with all do respect, I’m leaving tumblr all together. I won’t delete my account or anything, I’ll just sign out and never sign back in, plus I’d rather just focus on my other socials, like my main profiles and stuff on insta and tiktok and stuff soo
I had a good run on here, but everything has to come to an end eventually. Thanks to all of my mutuals and friends I’ve made on here, I hope we can reconnect eventually someday.
#sorry for the quick just “hi I’m leaving byeee” thing but like#I’m done on here#it’s not that u had a bad experience or anything#its just that i feel like I don’t post much on here and I dont really love tumblr all that much#so sorry again guys but byee#maybe I’ll pop in in a few years just to look at my past but shit I was a whole other person on here like 2 years ago#so#bittersweet goodbye chat….#important#leaving tumblr#goodbye
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33 hours until Toby’s secret pocket and I can’t wait
#The next few days are probably gonna be emotionally draining (not necessarily in a bad way but it’ll be a bit but I’m ok) for Reasons#So it is really nice that there’ll be a new longform and patreon stream the next day too#Cause thatll help a lot#cause that bittersweet Thing I mentioned a couple weeks ago is back on and it’s not really all that bad#but still idk#I’m good tho :)))#Next long form will be at 3am for me and the livestream will be 2:30am but it’s fineeeeee#Sfthposting#shoot from the hip
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DESTINED TO FALL
——
A hand pauses its reach.
Frozen in time as the lost boy watches his siblings roll around in the grass in a mock fight, his call for them failing to be heard.
Why had he just realised how different he is…
Sickly eyes, horrid horns-
He is not perfection like them.
Is that why they avoided him?
Is that why father deemed him to his room whenever he spoke?
If so, perhaps he should remedy that.
Then they will not restrict him, they will not leave him be for years at a time condemning him for things that is yet to happen.
He will be loved.
He will be cherished.
It may hurt but he will finally be chosen.
He will be chosen for great things.
He will not fall.
He will not.
——
A lost man holds a porcelain duck in his hands, reminiscing those painful memories as he traces the cracks.
Regret fills his being.
He tortured himself to become perfect, what fuckin good that did huh?
It takes a moment for him to gather himself…
With a tremor he grabs a paint brush,
It’s a silent endeavour as he paints the cracks gold.
.
.
.
Finally putting it down, a warm smile spreads across his face, his finger softly pets the top of its head.
“I cherish you, no matter the cracks,
I love you, no matter your fate,
I choose you.”
#lucifer morningstar#lucifer magne#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin lucifer#lucifer fanart#hazbin fanart#hazbin hotel fanart#angst with bittersweet ending#neglect#self mutilation (not shown)#abuse#he just wants to be loved#is that so bad?#he does to the duck what he wished his family did to him#I’m not cryin you are#I wrote this at 8 am after not sleeping for two days it’s not very good#digital art#drawing#art#illustration#artwork#digital artwork#digital drawing#digital illustration#fanfic#child lucifer
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The funniest and saddest thing perhaps is how captivated I have been by Skaði/Njörðr lately…
Yeah. Njörðr from Feh and his… presumably existing wife that isn’t even in Feh in any shape way or form atm.
I mean I’ve taken what can be learnt from Norse mythology and have made her into my own character, basically, but still…
I am working on a fic rn but man. Who is gonna get this except me? It’s crazy. But I am having fun with it soooooo. Hopefully that’ll be enough <3
#idk I just really. really wish to talk about them more but idek where to start#something about them is bringing out my inner romantic I’m all like “I want what they have” even tho. it doesn’t end well ofc so-#idk like they didn’t choose each other. learning to live with one another and slowly fall for each other.#thinking it might actually work out. realizing it won’t and clinging onto the relationship that will inevitably come crashing down#very bittersweet ig? very longing. very… idk words fail me a lil. hopefully my writing will convey the rest#obviously the whole relationship is set in the past. so before book 7#I think Njörðr could have been once uhhhh… not as bad. like I’m still writing him with his flaws there. but yk.#he starts to become worse when Skaði and him part ways for good. now that’s a tasty take#anyways um yeah. I hope you will feel the vibes through the screen or smth#read my fic!! once it’s done and posted ofc! pleaseeeee? or don’t… that’s chill too….. lol#feh#fire emblem#fire emblem heroes#fe heroes#feh book 7#feh njorthr#feh njordr#feh Njörðr#feh skaði#Feh skadi#idk is it ok to tag her like this-
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when I was in high school there was a tendency whenever there was an attractive boy to simply fan over him. in a way that talked over everything he might say for himself and created a narrative that completely ignored, the fact in some cases, that he was really struggling—or if he was struggling, to pin all the blame on the girl he’s dating and completely ignore the thousands of other factors (no it can’t be mental illness or unaccommodated disability or systemic abuse or exploitation and if he is in an abusive relationship we won’t ever consider the factors that put him at risk for that)
and I’m not saying this fandom is like that. I get the need for privacy around some things and how in public conversations sometimes it’s a lot more respectful to stick to the positives (everyone who does that, I admire you) or even the struggles that are talked about publicly, show respect by not reading too far into them. there’s a time and place for that. but sometimes I feel like our only options are shitty and ableist gossip or totally ignoring the systemic and structural issues we know exist in something like the music industry until someone dies and then we’re looking for someone to blame. friends, there is a point where the respectful thing is to listen to what someone says and come together to make things better. and you can learn how to have that conversation respectfully. please do
#forever haunted by ‘I wasn’t always a cynic it’s just I’ve been bought and sold’#and actually this highlights my whole frustration with the conversation around mental health just about anywhere#like you tell people something sucks and they’re completely unwilling to even try to challenge the status quo in order to help#and idk. I tell myself they’re going to be fine. they’re so resilient. I’m doing all I can; I’m not on the ground there I’m at a distance#but at the same time is it not bittersweet sometimes to enjoy music born from trauma? to be at a live show knowing they shouldn’t be?#to me these stories have to be told for the reason that yes so people relate but also so we can do better for the next generation#anyway I’ve gotten deep into inxs lore lately and I can say. yes it is better for 5sos simply for the fact men can talk about emotions#but that didn’t come without a MASSIVE fight don’t you ever forget that. it’s gonna still carry shame. they’re choosing to fight that#but the sad songs we got as a result?? idk they’re the thing that turned me parasocial because there’s rarely absolutely nothing you can do#like if we’re ever gonna give them a gold star for talking about this stuff as early as sgfg til today we gotta ask ourselves to look at#larger systemic issues and stuff that we ARE a part of and while we can’t be there for them when they have a bad day. we can work on#anyway the high school example still haunts me. still drives some of what I do now. we were just kids. but most of us here aren’t anymore#and the newbrokenscene is grown up now and tbh the status quo should be TERRIFIED#so idk. at the very least sign the petition for liams law. advocate for better. address local issues of injustice and addiction etc#which in some ways I’m lucky that I get to do that in sydney so it feels connected but this is just as valuable anywhere#tbh the 2010s era of bubblegum pop and ignoring all our problems is over. you’re punk now. even katy released chained to the rhythm#thinking about the nfp I’m trying to start and how to start small. for disadvantaged kids maybe? intervening via urban design?#(don’t you ever forget 5sos WERE disadvantaged kids not even 20 years ago. that shit sticks to you no matter how much you achieve)#albums and activism#anyway it fascinates me to see how differently people do this kind of thing to each band member. like the vibe is different but still track#for this whole phenomenon like whether they’re seen as pretty or strong or cute or smth else that becomes the main thing not their words#and I say that but tumblr is pretty good overall. I just wish sometimes we could have a more active conversation before any tragedy#so gosh I’m ranting so much but PLEASE talk about this with me. I notice far too much and I can’t say any of it publicly#so occasionally I come out with a rant like this
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#work has been insane so of course my mind has been thinking about The Past#I don’t make a habit of Looking around places I’ve effectively sworn off usually but#idk its bittersweet#time passes and I’m gone and new things come but some things have stayed the same and it’s not a bad feeling just unexpected#it’s weird when I can directly see My Impact though#an echo of it at least#anyway my Instagram algorithm is fucked so that’s bringing me back to toxic shit from 2018 and I don’t need that in my life#I’m better at my mental illness when I’m not around other people with the mental illness. which is stupid and hilarious lol#like ah yes yall are still fucked in exactly the same way you were 6 years ago. carry on#I’m also still fucked that way but I shall be doing that in my own hermit cave without everyone lmao
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Today, we remember Transguy Supply’s thorough and heartfelt email newsletter sent out during Nonbinary Pride Week. Truly, you can feel the love for our diverse community spilling over in every word, a touching celebration of all which we stand for and hold dear.
…aaaaaand that was the email.
#it’s been three months and I still think about this a lot 😭😂#I think I would’ve been less insulted if they just. hadn’t acknowledged nbpw at all 😂#maybe it’s petty but it left a bad enough taste in my mouth that I won’t be buying with or from them again#it’s bittersweet because I got my very first packer from them so I’m grateful for the impact they made in my own journey#but like. c’mon. calling this half-assed and apathetic would be giving it way too much credit#peaches screams into the void
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#idk why i’m even talking about this but like. treating this blog like my diary#thinking about the cody ko controversy & the response of the internet in general & it’s so weird#like i watched cody but i unsubbed a couple years ago just bc i didn’t like his vids anymore but i did like tmg & their music & noel#which isn’t the weird part because i’ve parted with things that turned sour & problematic etc. there’s a little bittersweetness but not muc#the weird thing is just how people have responded (cody hasn’t which speaks for itself 🧍)#like some people take it seriously but there’s also been a lot of jokes. which i would argue is okay because it’s clowning on the abuser—#& it spreads a wider rhetoric of ‘hey this guy sucks let’s all make fun of this guy for committing statutory’#it’s strangely validating as someone with my trauma#ofc i’ve talked about it before but as someone who was groomed & sa’d at 17 by a 22 year old man i remember constantly (even still)#second guessing how bad it was & arguing that like ‘4.5 years isn’t that bad’ or ‘well the SA was ‘only x’ and not ‘y’’#even though i feel a lot of nuance about the concept of. this is being treated seriously while simultaneously being treated as the—#joke of the week & so many people have said that he won’t face consequences (it seems like these influencers never do)#even despite all that…there’s a strange validation of my trauma whenever i see other people speak out and gain support regardless of the—#circumstances.#idk does that make sense or am i talking in circles#tw grooming#tw sa mention
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When you’re right about something but really wish you weren’t
#a very bittersweet feeling#this of course about fanfiction#it is a thought I have had#unfortunately in a fic I cannot read#sigh#ao3#fanfiction reading#ao3 scrolling#my posts#I hate my brain#it pictures things against my will#when scrolling#I just want to be left alone#sigh.#fuck I just want to read the beginning#but it’s a really bad idea💀#look I don’t give a shit about ‘moral purity’ or some shit#but I’m fairly sex repulsed even when it comes to fiction#and my brain pictures things VERY vividly#so yeah#non-con is off limits#yea I need to sleep#it’s always at this time of night when I consider these things#and if I read that I would 100% regret it#read = regret#must remember that
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so i finally finished tfftf during that diamond rush and 😭🥹😭 i’m so beyond sad it’s over omg kingu my love i miss you already
#i managed to save everyone and the pearl And the world so#thank god i got the best ending with kingu ❤️#my original theodora ending was so bittersweet and i barely handled it if i got a bad ending here i would have LOST MY MIND#i’m so sad it’s over my third fave story on the app :( now my top 3 are all ended#but i’m so happy with the ending and the epilogue i cried they’re MARRIED AND HAVE A DAUGHTER AND ARE HAPPY AF!!!!!#as they deserve <3333#the flower from tiamat's fire#tfftf#romance club#personal
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