#it’s really good lol I actually can’t even tell the difference between what I’ve done and canned Bush’s baked beans

[halffizzbin]

White US Americans, what’s the most innocuous but embarrassing White US American thing you’ve done lately? Mine was buying 10 cans of black beans because they were on sale, fully planning to eat them like a normal person eats black beans, but instead I dumped tomato paste and maple syrup and molasses and paprika in there so I could mimic baked beans and eat them with hot dogs.

[oh-shtars]

RFTS!AU AskBox #4

Me to @signed-sapphire for the legendary number of 50 Questions Galore they sent me:

Heads up though, you might notice there’s certain questions skipped. I’m either not able to answer some of the asks at all OR they’re either some art requests that I haven’t finished and will post in future posts. So I had to skip them for this post unfortunately…. I apologise as such. 😅

Anyways, let’s get speeding through them shall we?

1. How do you plan to show the songs?

It should be question 6 of this post here. :)

……

2. How many songs do you plan to have in RFTS?

4 or more. Depends on what I come up with.

……..

3. What ‘vibe’ would each song have?

Uhhhhhhh, idk tbh. I’m really just going with the flow of what this story brings me. You can’t wait to see what the RFTS!plot has in store? Yeah, me too.

……..

4. Who’s voicing Valentino and the main cast?

For Valentino, I’m not sure. I’m debating whether it should be younger Bambi or Ronno’s VA. But he basically has an actual kid’s voice this time rather than a deep-sounding one. (Because honestly, I found that a bit weird personally). For the the other characters, I don’t really mind the voices they have canonically.

And I think I’ve mentioned this before, but even though Sueño can’t speak, I could hear him singing this in this voice hypothetically.

………..

5. Write or draw any cute interaction between Ashueño!

Mk :3

………

6. I know Asha will have a different outfit by the end, but do you have different designs for anyone else?

Yeah, I do actually. Some characters have a different outfit to better reflect their current context. (Like how Sakina would have work clothes similar to Asha.) But I don’t want to reveal most of them at the moment since I would like to keep them a secret for now.

……

7. Some Gabo doodles, if you don’t mind. I rarely see the short king in any Wish Art.

Fiiiiine.

His design makes a lot more sense if you were me and you knew the context. Take this art with whatever theories you guys can throw at me 😂

……. 10. What made Amaya fall in love with Magnifico? What changed?

Amaya had a family who greatly discouraged her interest in studying magic and potions since it’s against what their family has done for generations. Meanwhile, Magnifico who was adopted as Rosas’ prince, is expected to learn magic but COULDN’T because he struggles to do so since he hasn’t moved on from his trauma.

When these guys were around 16-15 years old, they were mutual best friends. Mag offers Amaya to read from his magic books while he finds comfort in just having a genuine friend who doesn’t remind or push expectations onto him that he hears everyday in the castle. She’s like an escape from the stresses he has in there.

In their future years, Amaya grew to fall in love with someone who promised her the world if she only asked for it. She finds bits of herself in Mag, as both were people with crushed dreams that deserve better. (In their POV anyway.)

Falling in love was not at all what she expected since she used to believe sympathy would only hold her back from exploring the limits of magic. But you know, Amaya’s as much as a tragic character as Magnifico is.

…….

11. Who fell first and who fell harder between those two?

Is it possible to say that RFTS!Magnifico is both?

……..

12. Any fun fact about the Royal Couple? (You can tell who I’m most invested in. lol.)

The only reason Espino, the royal cat, is in the castle is because Amaya wanted him around. Otherwise, if it were up to Mag, that cat is out to the streets. He’s not very fond of animals and he considers them as pests. Though, Espino gets small bonus points from Magnifico just because he keeps the castle clear from mice which he especially hates.

(Good to know you’re enjoying ‘Grand Despair’ while it lasts :)

……

13. This may be weird but…Body Swap! How would Hopes and Dreams react?

Asha would have zero idea how to get star magic under control. Meanwhile, Sueño finds an interesting realisation.

……..

14. What’s your favourite fanart piece of your AU?

I LOVE all of them so much!! They’re all made by very amazing artists!! I’m so happy to see these silly characters I’ve made be brought to life in someone else’s style. 💖💖

Mere words can’t express this joy enough. I hope you all would love the final chapters once they do come out as much as you loved seeing content of them now. X3

……..

15. Are you telling your story via writing or art of word dump?

I’m planning to share it in chapters like how Anny and everyone else has been doing. Plus some more sketches I would keep making of them obviously.

………

17. Draw Ashueño dressed as another Disney couple!

Hehehehehe guess whooo~ 🙃

………

19. Young!Sueño!

Which one? 🙃

Awww, good times back then when the little guy is still figuring out the forms he likes….

…… 20. Young!Royal Couple!

Mini Magnifico would rather drown himself or drink snake venom than call Oliver his dad- ………

22. Give some more lore on Asha’s father. Are you keeping him as close to the source material as possible? Will we see him in flashbacks or something?

You’ll definitely get to see Tomás at certain points in the story. Either in the short prologue, mentions and flashbacks. He’s generally a friendly guy but at the same time, is also assertive to defend what he thinks is wrong. But even though his life was cut short, Tomás ended up inspiring more people than he thinks. Especially his old friend, Sabino, who hasn’t given another wish or attended any more wish ceremonies after his death.

I don’t think we really knew much about Asha’s father at all in the canon movie, but I’ll pretty much be close to what is depicted there already with some more detail on how he made an influence in the lives of those he loves.

………

23. Give Sueño a stuffed toy for him to cuddle with. He deserves it <3

He adores it so much 💖💖

……….

24. More lore about the Astral Realm!

Not all Wishing Stars have the strong desire to venture down into the human realm someday and that’s completely fine. They can still guide their wishmaker from above. But for those who do want to, they need to answer one important question first:

“Why do you grant wishes?”

Since they would be going down to earth by themselves ALONE with none of their elders to guide them this time, their answer to this question serves as their anchor in case they get lost or distracted. Answers do vary and some may be the same among stars, but that’s fine. As long as they’re sincere with all their core on their answer. Some examples may be: “I like to see them reach their very best and reap their deserved rewards.” Or “I like watching them journey and discover themselves.”

……….

25. SNEAK PEAKS!!

This scene is one of my dotpoints I came up with but I’m not so sure anymore if that would still fit in and whether I should scrap it. Regardless, I thought this would be a nice little thing to show you all. Proof that I’m indeed working on it 😅

(Actually, this sounds so cute to draw. Feel welcome to try and do so if you want to, my fellow artists ^^)

…… 26. How does Magnifico’s magic work?

I made a whole post on this :3

………

27. Where did Amaya learn potions?

She’s self-taught mostly. But I also did mention that Mag generously lets her borrow what is meant to be his books of magic soooo, he played a role on that as well.

……

29. What’s Amaya’s opinion on the other Wish AU Mags?

I’m not exactly sure how different her opinions would be on each of them since I think we all decided to have our fun with Magnifico just being a shameless show-off and fun evil villain. I’ll try though.

Amaya would think KOW!Mag reminds her a lot of her own husband, also short-tempered and a disgustingly sweet romantic at times. She’s kind of a play-hard-to-get girl though 😂. One thing she does notice is that what WRTS!, Wish Granted! And KOW!Mag have in common is how loud they are with their ceremonies. Is that a universal Magnifico thing? Eh. There sure is a lot of interesting knowledge to learn from these universes. Hmmm.

TKoRaT!Maggy has that same pained look that falls on RFTS!Mag whenever he’s sulking by himself and needs time alone. Usually it’s because of his old village trauma. It’s an intriguing but ever so familiar cycle she recognises well.

Meanwhile. TFS!Mag is……different, she would say. Not exactly good different. I kinda imagine her eyeing this guy like a cat. This Mag just gives off a very different vibe of non-ruthlessness(?) that she’s not used to.

……..

30. Same for Mag, but vice versa.

RFTS!Mag gets very very very familiar vibes with KOW! And Wish Granted!Amaya. He finds it slightly amusing since it feels like his wife just became a part of some triplets. (He jokingly asked RFTS!Amaya if she had any sisters she never told him. The woman wasn’t amused. She doesn’t really like being reminded of her family.) I’m sorry TKoRaT! And TFS!Amaya, but you’ve made the decision to adopt Asha as your daughter and so he thinks lower of you now. Although…the TKoRaT!couple might just get to redeem themselves for that since they sound interesting enough. They’re going to have the ditch the girl though at some point.

WRTS!Amaya just feels off. He doesn’t know what exactly though? Is he losing his mind or something? Ugh, I think he could use devouring another Wish Bubble just in case…

……..

31. You know what, for Asha and Sueño too!

Oh boy, here we go. 😂

Asha will NOT be able to handle Wish Granted!Star’s energy. It’s so different from the silent but still lively conversations she has with her Starboy. Star just can’t bring himself to stop talking, can he? 😅 Asha thinks WRTS!Aster and TKoRaT!Star are adorable. Cielo may be a bit much at times with his light teasing and flirting, but she’s aware he means well.

I could see Asha’s non-hesitant empathy, patience and genuine concern to Haedus would be a huge comfort for the poor guy. (Trust me, she’s done this plenty before.) She’s a bit surprised to see Naos and Nembus but I think they’d get along just fine. She’s pretty good with playing with kids from her experience with a mischievous Valentino. And lastly, KOW!Aster is a total sweetheart that she jokingly comments could rival Sueño’s. (That comment caught Sueño’s attention quickly lmao.)

MEANWHILE:

Sueño is more hesitant and unwilling at first to approach humans by his own accord. He’ll still keep a short distance buuuut… if they’re just another version of Asha, it can’t be that horrible, right?

KOW!Asha’s drawings are a familiar sight for him and he’s impressed that she could bring her own drawings to life. Same goes for WRTS!Asha with her magic wand. Maybe they’re friendly… Maybe they could both do that together :D He’s neutral with Wish Granted! And Aled’s Asha for now until he gets to know them better.

Sueño recognises that same shyness and timid nature in TKoRaT!Asha. (It’s weird how she does the same thing RFTS!Asha does of turning their head away and hiding behind their hair when he innocently just looks her way.)

And then there’s…….HER. TFS!Asha. Cielo talks about her a lot….😬. But you know, that girl scares him.

Unfortunately, Sueño is staying a relatively farther distance away from the last two Ashas I mentioned. Why? Idk, probably the fact that they’re the daughter of Mag and Amaya-

……….

32. *Gives Sueño an iPad with Duolingo on it* Here my child. Learn Spanish.

I have a feeling you did this so he could finally find out what his name, ‘Sueño’ translates into. Lol, nope. Not yet he’s not.

He still appreciates the gesture though, but the guy got distracted by the other cool features and apps this weird magical mirror-tablet thing(?) had and completely forgot all about the Owl app.

……

33. Will Asha ever attempt to learn Celestial? Maybe with a candle? Like Morse Code? Idk.

Idk. Speaking Celestial is really just stars exchanging screechy sound waves to each other telepathically like words, while their glowing sequences indicates the mood and tone of what they’re saying. Maybe if Asha comes to learn how to harness light magic on her own, she’ll be able to at least convey emotions such as happiness in it by controlling the brightness and duration of each flash.

…….

35. How are you planning out your story?

I usually think of what main message I’m trying to get across first and build the story around it. After some character and world-building stuff (that I keep adding to because procrastination), I put the key scenes I could think of in bullet-point format and then just think up some in-between scenes that could occur between those points.

Usually though, the most usual process is that a random concept/idea pops into my head and then I immediately type it down so I won’t forget it. It’s basically my thing now to organise the giant mess of reminders into comprehensive plot lines.

I’m not writing the story at this point. The story is choosing to expose itself to me XD

Another main thing I do is listen to my Spotify playlist of this AU, read the Wish Artbook, or rewatch a movie that has inspired the RFTS! plot in some way.

……..

36. Are there any kisses in your story?

Hmmmmm….. *glances at Ashueño and Amnifico*

Oh well, since you’ve asked me, I gueeeeess I’m unfortunately now going to have to remove all the kisses I had included since y’all are so desperate to know….. (/jk)

……..

38. Will the Royal Couple have villain transformations?

………..

39. What’s your take on the ‘eating wishes’ thing?

As I’ve mentioned in my last post on how the magic system works in the RFTS!AU, Magnifico eats wish essence to reverse the costly effects of using Curse Magic. To put it simply, he uses them to make him more mentally stable.

.,,,,,,,,

40. What Easter Eggs are you planning to put in your story?

Awwwww, where’s the fun in that? Find them yourselves >:)))

And who knows? Maybe certain fellow creators in the Wish Rewrite Fandom will make a reference in some of the chapters. Keep an eye out 😉

……..

42. What exactly does Asha’s job entail?

Being a king’s apprentice is a way to gain experience and learn how to use magic by the king himself, so you could use the attained knowledge as to however you want. Share the talent with Rosas or Go out into the world.

However, when Magnifico’s reign started, he forbade magic usage other than he and his wife with the claim that it’s for the greater good and safety for Rosas. (He kinda had a point since criminal activity and accidents did decrease in number after that rule.)

Since Mag doesn’t really need an apprentice, Asha is more of an assistant now, following in her dad’s footsteps before her. She’s tasked to do help with whatever Mag might need around his study such as keep the fire going or organise his papers. But Mag doesn’t really like having her around a lot, (since she asks a lot of questions about his wish-keeping system) so he purposefully tells her to go carry out outside tasks such as go into the garden and help the gardeners or something.

……..

43. Did Magnifico make Sueño’s bonds?

If I told you, would that make you more blood-thirsty enough to gather pitchforks and torches for his head? Because if you are, please don’t. I still need this guy to stir up conflict in my story :((

(You can have him all you want though once I’m done with him. Lmao.)

………

44. How was Rosas founded?

Nearly a century ago, the kingdom was first built. I’ve read in the Art book that Rosas was apparently named to reference ‘Beauty and the Beast.’

Like, ok….?

Anyways, I found that roses are meant to represent love, rebirth and beauty. So I decided to add more onto that than just have it as another reference. The kingdom’s founders wanted Rosas to be a place where people who are wary and feel outcasted by their homes can find and start a new beginning. To ‘Rebirth’ and have a second chance to find the ‘beauty and love’ in their lives again,

Blue and white were made the royal colours because the blue was meant to stand for trust and reliability and white for new beginnings. Symbolising the past kings and queens’ responsibility to have their talents in sorcery be used to serve the people who come here. Thus, Rosas’ citizens all are in a variety of different cultures.

……..

45. Over how many days does your story take?

I’m thinking within one month. It’s a race-against-time sort of thing where Asha needs to find out how to confront the Royal Couple before they do something horrible on Rosas’ celebration of its 100th anniversary, which is literally just a month away.

…….

46. What was your favourite part of Wish? Are you translating that to your AU?

I really really loved how Mag’s magic looked and how he went all evil-ish green as a tribute to past Disney villains. If we ignore the awkward transition he had from sympathetic to just plain psychotic, it’s a cool magic display. I kinda wished they went more full out on the final battle because it just felt so underwhelming asf.

I’m keeping the magical final battle but with more magical funsies. :D

…….

47. Least favourite part?

I’m frustrated how bland and empty the character interactions and emotional beats are since those kinds of moments are usually my favourite when it comes to movies.

Magnifico’s tragic loss of his village? “Pfft- What tragedy? We don’t need that in the movie’s 2nd half.”

Asha’s dead father? “Eh. We only needed him for a few mins and he’s non-existent from that point on.”

Valentino claims to be Asha’s helpful animal sidekick. “Did I mention I have a deep voice? Oh, and my butt’s a funny thing too. Did I already mention that my voice is loud and soooo deep??”

Simon’s betrayal? “Oh wow, that was a shock…. Anyways, wanna start a rebellion?”

OMG, Sakina’s wish is back!! “What was the wish about? Idk who cares.”

Asha’s friendship with Star doesn’t even feel that special to me?? GUYS, I felt more chemistry between Rapunzel and Pascal. COME ON, BUILD IT UP. DON’T JUST SAY ‘Awww, you and I are thinking the same thing~’ AND EXPECT ME TO BUY THAT.

……….

48. What’s your favourite aspect of the TFS!AU?

Idk why, but I like how there’s a unique twist in your AU on how Wishing Stars don’t have the best reputation to humans. It’s a nice subversion that makes it stand out a little more. :)) Because usually, the idea of wishing on stars is always seen as a positive thing but that’s not the case in this story. It’s intriguing to watch characters slowly realise that not everything is what it seems.

That, and the hilarious dynamic you’ve got going on between Cielo and Asha and how deep in denial they both are, even though it’s clear as day to the other TFS!cast. 😂

(Wouldn’t it be funny if TFS!Mag and Amaya also noticed? They may be going down a dark path but they’re not blind, girl.)

……..

50. What’s a boring fact about you?

Uhhhhhh…. I like organising stuff by colour for fun...? Like, I used to pour out a box of legos and sort through them as a kind of pastime. I still organise coloured pencils in rainbow order if I could too. 😅 ………

@annymation @uva124 @your-ne1ghbor @ficsinhistory @rascalentertainments @gracebethartacc @spectator-zee

It’s a long read, but I think you guys would enjoy going through it regardless. I hope so anyways.

Btw, thx for all the fun questions Bo! 💖 Might post some more regarding your other doodle requests that I’ve put to the side for now if you don’t mind. :))

[esta-elavaris]

Hi!

Sooooo, I was wallowing in self pity because there was no HWFG (no pressure to write or update! I just can’t be normal about that story) so I went to check your ao3 and was surprised to see that you’re a fellow James Norrington truther! It inspired me to rewatch the first two pirates of the Caribbean movies and I kinda fell into the norrington rabbit hole again.

That made me read fallen through time and I honestly became OBSESSED so when I was done with the chapters you posted for that story I immediately turned to catch the wind and,,,,,,, [insert unhinged meme about ripping out guts]. I started reading it on Saturday and I couldn’t put it down so I read through two nights and am now tired as fuck, sitting at work, trying to appear busy while still reading your story. What have you done to me!!! I just read the wedding night chapter (I’m going insane, that had no business being so hot???) and honestly, that was so rewarding? Very well written smut aside, the slow burn was soooo good and there were moments where I had actual tears in my eyes??? Theo’s pain when she overheard Elizabeth accepting James‘ proposal? AH!!!! I adore their relationship. The banter, the soft moments, their conflict, their quiet conversations (though I must say I maybe even like it more in fallen through time? He’s just so mean, suspicious and stupid at times in that one, I live for that). I feel like theyre the definition of „she fell first, he fell harder“ and at one point i was really reminded of something I’ve read elsewhere… it was something like „you’re looking at me with purpose“ and that’s just so spot on for James? He’s so devoted to her it makes my heart melt.

On that note, it’s so impressive how much research you’ve done?! And how much thought you’ve put into everything? It’s not easy to write for that time period (I say as a person with two degrees in history lol), especially when it comes to balancing the cultural differences between norrington and Theo? That made everything even more fun to read.

And it’s so impressive how you manage to have this story follow the events of the movies but for it to never become boring or repetitive? You manage to capture the characters we all know and love so well while also making them your own. Your James, of course, is spot on, but also Elizabeth and will? And in all honesty, I maybe like your jack sparrow more than the canon one. He serves as comic relief so much that you sometimes forget he’s a seasoned pirate and much more intelligent, provident and even dangerous than one might think. He feels much more human in your story in my opinion. And that moment where he returns to Tortuga and confronts Theo about the cannibals? I laughed so loud that my bf woke up lol

Okay so I’ll stop rambling now, I just wanted to drop by to tell you how much I love your work and how glad I am that I checked out your norrington/theo stuff. Theo is amazing and I love them both so much. My boss just left the building and I sure will spend the rest of my time at work today reading, they don’t pay me enough anyway. I so hope that her attempt at changing James’ fate will work out and I’m very anxious but also excited to find out where this all goes!

Sending love and appreciation from Germany!

I know I'm on a tumblr break but this is too nice and it has me crying too much to leave it to gather dust in my inbox 🫠🫠🫠

Thank you so so so so SO much!!!

Honestly Catch the Wind will always have a special place in my heart (the people who have sat and watched me continue to talk about it ~14 months after it was finished are like "we know, babe") because I wrote it like, being somewhat fond of Norrington but mostly to get the idea for a Boromir fic out of my system, and instead I ended up sick over Norrington and still writing the Boromir fic anyway. Buuut I mean I got my favourite project so far out of it so I can't complain, I just laugh at how I played myself. Tbf tho, it was a great thing because POTC was a great stepping stone towards even more intimidating LOTR territory!

I'm so glad the smut was decent, too! That was the first story I've ever written it for and I was so nervous about it 💀 I do completely agree with your view on Theo and James as a couple though - the falling first/harder, and the "you're looking at me with purpose" both. I just don't think he'd ever be the type to get complacent. He's not a man who lays on the charm to win the girl, before thinking "what's the point in continuing to try?" once he "has" her. I see him as being such a ride or die, insanely loyal, "that is my WIFE", Gomez Addams coded guy, I love him for it. Those sitcom coded jokes where a guy hates his wife the second he marries her would be the very opposite of his kind of thing. That's why I had so much fun giving him that back in Theo, considering Elizabeth doesn't return his feelings in the movies.

And I mean, I don't think he's owed that from her and I don't think less of her for not returning those feelings, she can't help it (although I do raise my eyebrows at anybody who'd choose Will over The Noz, but people are allowed to be wrong ig), and I think if anything it'd be worse if she did marry him in the end without having that same level of feeling, but it was just so nice to give him someone as dedicated to him as he was to her in Theodora 🥹 I also think Boromir has a lot of that in him, so I'm very excited about his future with Sybil.

I'm also so thrilled to hear the research went appreciated - a lot of it was very fun, like if I hadn't done an Eng Lit/Creative Writing degree, I would've gone into history (I actually almost did do a second degree in history but the funding didn't work out, so I stick to just reading a lot, which I'm cool with), and like most of it was fun, but there were times when I was googling a) the origin of the coffee table, and b) 18th century equivalents of a coffee table/accent table at 4am for the sake of one throwaway line where I did wonder about my path in life. I swear, I deep-dived into it in the notes usually because I at least wanted to make it clear when I had done my research vs when I was knowingly deviating (a few unknowing mistakes did slip through but I think how much research otherwise went into it kind of makes people more willing to overlook a mistake here and there?) but also because it meant I could get more out of said research binges than just one unnoticeable line in a random paragraph 🤡

And JACK. God. I could write a dissertation on Jack. What they do to his character in movies 4/5 are 90% of the reason I don't like them and have only seen them once each. The other 10% is that uhhh they're just crap. Like it's so, so clear in the first three - mainly because of JD's fab acting - that the eccentric thing masks a lot of intelligence and cunning. He'll do his whole "weirdo" shtick, and I don't even think it's entirely an act, I think he is truly eccentric to an extent, but there'll just be these really brief moments where there's just a gleam in his eye, or he'll be suddenly serious for 0.5 seconds and you see what's going on behind the mask, and you realise it is a mask. Whereas in 4/5 it turns into a thing of "idiot who bumbles around and finds his way by sheer luck", which was never what he was in the trilogy.

I also think his crew's reaction to him shows that he is more than willing to be a hardass captain when it comes to it - the moment off of the top of my head is when Cotton's parrot goes "walk the plank" in movie two and his gun is immediately out and he's not happy and they all kinda startle a bit. But even without glimpses like that, like, they're pirates. If he was weak, and he wasn't willing to be stern and not take shit, they wouldn't follow him, and he wouldn't be half as infamous as he is. They know he's odd, but it's clear they respect him, so he must have earned that respect.

He was the one I was most scared of having to write going into this thing (along with Barbossa and Beckett), because he's so easy to get wrong. I'm always so, so thrilled when I hear I did him justice!

Okay, I have written you an entire dissertation here, so I'll stop now and just say again THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!! 💜💜💜 I've read this like ten times since I first received it, it had me grinning like an idiot every single time, I'm so grateful -- and I hope you like what I have in store for HWFG! The wait shouldn't be tooo long, I'm taking April off of posting but not writing, so ideally I'll have something to post in the very beginning of May!

(and I'll reply to your other ask in a bit, I just wanted to make it clear I wasn't ignoring this!!)

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 4.07 ‘Darkness on Umbara’ Reaction Take 2

I’m doing this post and the rest of these second watch reaction posts to the Umbara arc in the more live-blogging style reaction posts I’ve done for other episodes like 1x5 ‘Rookies’, 2x10 ‘The Deserter’ and 4x5 'Mercy Mission'. So much happens in these episodes and I feel like I missed a lot of it in my first reaction posts because I was going through all the emotions.

“Just like old times, Rex” WHY AM I SAD ALREADY

That is some very cool looking nose cone art on the 501st LAAT/i behind Fives. Can’t quite tell what it is but it certainly looks cool.

More Anakin and Obi Wan snark. Excellent. Business as usual then.

Well that’s not ominous at all

Naw, Rex checking in on Tup. I read somewhere that Tup was a shiny on Umbara but I can’t remember if this is canon or fanon.

The clone piloting the LAAT/i is named Hawk! Or at least he is according to the captions. Hey Hawk! More named clones! :D 

“Time to lock and load” CACKLING

The walkers just leap backwards out the back of the low flying LAAT/i’s? How is this a good idea? 

BOING. Yeet the walker.

I think this is the first time we actually hear what the clones are saying on a battlefield. Usually it’s just dialogue between the main characters but now there’s so many of them shouting and cheering and screaming and dying.

Rip the poor clone that jumped out of the LAAT/i and didn’t even make it onto the ground before being shot.

“The enemy could have the whole place rigged with traps.” Dammit Anakin you jinxed it.

“I can’t even see the enemy” Oh that’s going to come back and bite everyone in the arse really badly.

“It’s just a vine” Oh dear.

It’s the Umbaran sarlacc!

Fives being a badass and taking out the monster like it’s nothing. That was quite clever thinking in terrifying circumstances for him to keep his head and figure out he needs to get the monster to eat the explosive.

That shot of the trenches definitely reminds me of WWI and II. They’ve even got the troopers leaning against the sides with their blasters poking above the top.

“Maybe… back in the day” Dayum Rex, there a lot of feeling in that one. 

Surely an ambush and skittering assassin bugs would be something that Anakin would sense in the Force?

Lmao @ Hardcase trying to take out the bug with the blaster equivalent of a rotary canon. That’s like taking a flamethrower to a spider.

Fives have you been gargling gravel or something?

Well at least Anakin got rid of the assassin bug. Again.

That shot of the bombers and Odd Ball bombing the ridge and the ensuing explosion definitely felt like a reference to the Vietnam war.

Ah great, fuck face has arrived. Fuck off Krell.

Lol the ominous music at Krell’s arrival was definitely not foreboding at aaaaaaaaall.

“You won’t find a finer or more loyal trooper anywhere.” DAMN STRAIGHT

How dare you impune Rex’s honour. How dare.

Cackling at Fives look at Rex immediately after Krell buggered off. He is so unimpressed.

Something about Fives’ voice is very… husky. 

“The men don’t need rest” ah fuck off

Oh you did not just address Rex by his fucking number

Is this where Rex got his dramatic flair for disappearing into the fog like he did in ‘Battle Scars’ in The Bad Batch?

I just had a heartbreaking thought. Is Fives here because Echo is gone and he doesn’t have an ARC partner (and twin) anymore? So Rex is doubling as his ARC partner for now until Jesse ends up as the other ARC in Torrent and the 501st? Do ARCs have partners and come in pairs? More angst for this already angst riddled arc (in more ways than one). Yay.

Is this Phase 2 clone armour? I think it is.

Poor Rex is trying to be diplomatic and balance dealing with Krell while also showing his men that he understands their concerns as well. I do like Fives’ view on this. He’s very ‘wear your heart on your sleeve’. I also loved that little exchange, you can really tell all of their different personalities just from that conversation. Hardcase is so gung ho, bless him.

“It’s too quiet out there.” Tup you precious anxious little bean

Rip Oz and Ringo

“You wanna piece of this” Hardcase living his best ‘blast everything’ life 

“I think Hardcase made ‘em mad.” CACKLING

Damn, Tup just taking out that Umbaran with a flip and a point blank blaster rifle shot to the face

“Make ‘em eat heat!” Hardcase is definitely in same vein as an 80s action hero

Rex just casually dual wielding with a horizontal grip like it’s nothing. Sir, you are showing off.

I would let Fives flip me over his shoulder and pound me into the ground. And then thank him for it. I have watched that part multiple times and it does not stop being hot. And the way he just casually stands up all cool and deadly and puts multiple blaster shots into the Umbaran. Sir, please contain your badassery. @nobie also has a fantastic gifset of this moment

Rex’s little flippy roll straight after this made me realise that he and Fives are fighting together. Oh Echo.

It’s almost jarring how noticeable it is that there isn’t a Jedi fighting alongside the clones. I couldn’t quite pick what felt off the first time until someone (Fives, I think?) mentions it later but it’s so obvious now. 

“Ha, ha, ha! Where ya goin’?” Hardcase is having the time of his life atm

Did Krell just shoulder check Fives?!

You can't jab Captain Rex in the shoulder like that!

Fives saying what everyone is thinking there. Also, what kind of Jedi threatens a clone with a lightsaber? Oh that’s right, a Sith.

Rex being an absolute badass

“I think he almost complimented you.” CACKLING

Fives and Rex just casually snarking while in the middle of a battlefield

[mortifry]

We did the RIP tour at Halloween Horror Nights Orlando last Friday night for the second year in a row and it was just soooo much fun!!!!! We had such a good night. It’s a bit expensive, but I honestly recommend it. It’s so worth it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do HHN any other way ever again lol

The food from the buffet was still kind of mid compared to last year, not gonna lie. I hear Hollywood has a better selection. But the experience was less hectic feeling than last year. They seem like they’re dealing with that issue a little better because there was way less people in La Bamba while we were there so it was quieter and a bit more relaxing. I really only ate the black beans and rice though because like I said, buffet is not the best (which is crazy for how much you’re paying for the experience but whatever I guess).

The only thing I tried of the themed HHN food was the Mini Stay-Puft S’more because it was recommended to me and it was not great. It didn’t even look good, which is one of the big reasons people want to buy it is because it’s “Instagramable” but they didn’t even cook my marshmallow enough for it to melt the chocolate!!! 3/10 :(

The only other things I had wanted to try were a couple alcoholic drinks they had but I forgot lol

Our tour guide’s name was Jay and he was really cool. In between houses and scare-zones, he talked with us and a couple other people about wrestling, which is always fun to find other people out in the wild who are fans. One of the guys in our group met Cody Rhodes, which was cool. Anyway, yeah our tour guide was really informative. Like not only telling us like the basic shit that most guides probably tell their groups but he sprinkled in a lot more little fun-facts and secrets than our guy did last year :) if we can’t get people to do a private tour with us next year, we’ll probably end up requesting him again because he was really good.

The medieval scare-zone was our favorite, for sure. It was also the biggest scare-zone this year. The costumes were just really cool and their set pieces were the best. The king and queen were truly serving cunt, as they say. The Florida one also seemed like it would’ve been pretty cool too, but it was raining when we walked through so none of the actors were out. The Blumhouse one was the worse. Like no effort put into it at all which is crazy because when they’ve done The Purge it’s always got pretty good set pieces. But anyway, at least Megan was there all night and you didn’t have to go looking for her and you can take pictures with her :) even though last year, the flash mob thing was fun lol but the other one, I don’t even remember what is was called, that’s near the Bourne show, was also pretty neat. I really like the costumes in that scare-zone probably the best actually.

The Nightmare Fuel show this year was amazing!!! I’ve only seen the show twice (this year and last lol) and it was so much better than last year. It was so good. I honestly recommend going to see it if you can because it was probably my favorite part of the whole night. You just have to make sure you kind of get in line a little early because it gets really busy.

I pretty much liked all of the houses this year for different reasons (which I’ll talk about each house separately in a second, no spoilers!!!) except for one. If you don’t know about the RIP tour, you literally get to skip the entire line, which is amazing and why you want to do the tour. I’ve been to HHN a few times previously without fast passes and with them, and this is honestly just so much better of an experience. I remember going with different groups of people on different occasions and waiting like 3/4 hours for one house when I went without fast passes (The Shining and the first Stranger Things house lol) and it sucked, it ruined the whole night tbh fast passes are definitely good if you don’t want to spend money on the RIP tour because it does really cut down on time, but I’m at a point in life where I just don’t want to go to something like NNH and have to wait anymore lol

Anyway here are my thoughts on the houses :)

> A Quiet Place was really cool!!! It’s based off of the first two movies, which I have never seen but I am now kind of interested in watching them. It’s definitely going to be the quietest house you go into, I mean, the name!!! Our tour guide said they used a lot more ambient noises in this house than others as well as noise canceling panels throughout the house to really give it that quiet but creepy feeling. And honestly, most of the guests walking through are not making much noise either. Like I was kind of afraid to make noise because the one time I accidentally did (a piece of fabric from the ceiling hit me in the face during a dark part) the noise from that creature was like immediately in my ear lol but yeah it was really cool. I really liked it

> Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire was one of my favorites but it is not scary at all, which usually there’s one of them. It was just fun. They did really good with the set design of the house. I haven’t seen Frozen Empire but ghost entity thing they’re fighting in it is a creepy little guy for sure. Definitely do this one, but don’t do it for the scares!!!

> Insidious: The Further was probably the scariest house. I’ve never seen any of the movies so it probably really wasn’t as scary as it could’ve been but it still got me a couple times. My soon-to-be sister-in-law said she had to close her eyes half way through. I’m pretty sure it was this house (sorry I can’t remember like anything) but I fucking hate mannequin rooms and this one has TWO!!!!!!! The first HHN I went to was with The Shining which had a mannequin room and I ran into one of the mannequins and then immediately got jump scared by a person in the same room lol

> Universal Monsters: Eternal Bloodlines (☝️) was the one house I didn’t like which is really unfortunate because I wanted to like it so bad. It is supposedly the first house that has an all-women cast and crew. I mean, like it was cool. I think it’s like the only house that has narration as you walk through it. But yeah, it just wasn’t really that good in opinion, I don’t know.

> Monstruos: The Monsters of Latin America was a good one. There are three different monsters you encounter in this house and there is a crazy puppet in here!!! I also can’t remember if it is this one (which I’m pretty sure it is) or the Ghostbuster house (which ever house has the fire station in it) but yeah, supposedly it has the biggest set piece that they’ve ever built! I can’t remember how big it is but it’s big!!! This one also kind of had a bit of narration, I believe, but it was different than Universal Monsters.

> Slaughter Sinema 2 was my favorite house!!! It was so much fun!!! I never went through the first house so this was really neat. Our tour guide told us that something some people miss is that in the first house, you went right, but in this house, you’re going left because you’re seeing different movies :) he also said that this series of houses are a way for HHN to test ideas and the ones that gather the most attention or whatever may become their own houses eventually. The first Slaughter Sinema produced two yeti themed houses (one of which was last year and one of our favorites!!) but yeah, it was fun. I recommend doing this house if you can!!!

> The Museum: Deadly Exhibits was the first house we went into and I honestly cannot remember anything from it.

> Major Sweets Candy Factory was gross!!!!! I lied, this was my least favorite house LOL it was gross. I hated it. But besides my own personal feelings, it was a well-done house and it was interactive! There are red buttons throughout the house you can push to have something done to the person in front of you, behind you, or yourself!!! You never know!!! I was walking behind my tour guide in this house and he looked back at me and was like “press that button” and me, an intellectual, pressed the button. Nothing crazy happened but it got me with a puff of air, so stupid :(

> Goblin's Feast is one I definitely recommend, especially to you fantasy nerds. I think this might have been the house that really got me, with a dumb puppet I was looking directly at. But anyway, this house just had really good costumes and set pieces as well as some crazy puppets. This house and Universal Monsters are both in the new tents they made this year :)

> Triplets of Terror was kind of dumb idk the set design of this house was good. It had a ton of little details but I was so confused going into it because the way my tour guide had explained the premise of the house, I thought these triplets were like some demonic entities that were children that came back every year on their birthday to kill a family but nope I was wrong and just more confused than anything while walking through lol

But yeah, we had a really good time this year. Even though it kind of rained on us, the weather was a lot nicer this year. Last year it was just so hot and humid and they had so much of that fake smoke, I was dying mid-way through the night. This year was just nice :)

Plus we ended the night with a wish coming true in finding Shotzi through the fog!!! I think she is so cool and it was so cool to meet her in person. I was too nervous to ask her for a picture but I shook her hand :)

Anyway, yeah. I recommend the RIP tour!!!

✌️thank yoooouuuu✌️

[just-absolutely-super]

FT Oneshot Review

Doing this because it’s been so looooooong since I’ve done a review for a FT chapter

Gonna talk in depth under the cut but here’s the TLDR version:

It’s a oneshot chapter that takes place a day before the final chapter of the series proper and before 100YQ, definitely a celebration for the upcoming anime series. The plot is nothing major or groundbreaking, but it’s a very cute in-between chapter that is full of typical FT humor, and that’s what i loved about it.

More in depth thoughts here:

First, i want to talk about the art style

Mashima’s art has always been great, and i love seeing his improvement whenever i read a work of his. The changes from FT 545 and now is rather subtle, but i can tell the difference. His girls are now more soft in features, while the men look more sharp and mature. Even the way he draws eyes are now different. I saw it during the course of EZ, but comparing Lucy then and now makes it more obvious. Here’s a comparison for people

That being said, seeing this chapter actually DRAWN by Mashima feels more like Fairy Tail to me. Don’t get me wrong, Ueda does great work at replicating the style…but in the end it’s a replica. Mashima may be involved in the sequel but he’s not the one in the driver’s seat (maybe more like a backseat driver but Ueda is behind this wheel and I WISH EVERYONE ACKNOWLEDGED THAT STOP PUTTING THE BLAME SOLELY ON MASHIMA WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS IN 100YQ, HE HAS A PARTNER IN CRIME)

Anyways, since Mashima isn’t completely involved with 100YQ, i can tell fully this oneshot was all him. The style, the humor, even the way the characters act seemed more real for me. And that’s part of why I can’t always get enthused about 100YQ, there’s always a dash of Mashima, not a main course

But this isn’t about me comparing this one little omake chapter to the sequel, so I’ll stop with that now

I liked the acknowledgment that Team Natsu (or at least everyone on the team but Erza) are not S class and therefore have no fucking business taking on the 100 Year Quest mission. And it is so on brand of Natsu to be told this and he be like, “k but imma do it anyway!” I love him your honor

It’s also on brand for all of Fairy Tail to go on a manhunt for him to keep him from doing the thing gosh dangit!

Sadly not enough Lucy T-T I know she’s not prominent because she’s supposed to be in the dark about the decision to go on the mission but still… At least she got to look fabulous for a panel with her gala dress from 545

But what do you MEAN her book isn’t selling well???? She won AN AWARD that shit should be selling like hot cakes! Justice for my queen, I’ll buy all her books!

(HC most of her sales are from the guild and surrounding guilds who know and love her <3)

Anyways, nothing really else to comment on. The humor was typical FT, and the sudden random appearance of Ichiya was wild. He’s just here for the lulz I guess lmao I just enjoyed how wacky the plot was, I missed how silly this manga could be

And the ending was perfect imo. The callback to the beginning of the series with Makarov’s words about following the path you choose really hit me harder than it probably should have lol but seeing him give the team his blessing was nice. I really liked it…

So to conclude everything, it wasn’t a big extravagant plot. With Ueda taking the reins (with supervision) with 100YQ, there really isn’t much Mashima could have written about. It’s a good prequel to chapter 545 as well as the sequel, and it’s a good celebration of the upcoming anime series

I hope Mashima continues to revisit FT independently. If he does, I’ll always be here to read about my favorite fictional people ❤️❤️❤️

[gretchensinister]

5, 17, and 24, please!

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

I’m not sure if this is exactly a superstition, but I feel like if I post something for people to read before a story is actually done it’s going to either never get finished or not be good. Draught of Light broke this rule but it had a hiatus after like 2 chapters that could have killed it.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

The lore for my current WIP? LOL well. When the skeksis and mystics were separated, the creation process included Thra...leaving means of reconnection, I guess? Beyond the shared-injury bond. i.e. skeksis and mystics are intended to be physically compatible with each other, even if it takes a little patience and the skeksis partner may think that it’s actually about their personal kink. History: UrVa and SkekMal figured this out the first time they met each other after the separation, like less than 5 trine after they split. Then they never told anyone about it ever. Detail: marypsue my current WIP is a PWP asldfjkslekj. IDK um. I researched a bunch of medicines to figure out which one to turn backwards for UrGoh and SkekGra to have in their fictional pharmacy. I actually really like that both of them are old enough that they have to think before doing whatever physically, and that SkekGra specifically has ongoing medical issues that affect his physical experience and can’t be ignored. It’s very different from writing for RotG where in canon over half the characters could actually fly. Things that won’t make it in the text are the in-depth discussions SkekGra and UrGoh had about what level of consent can be assumed between them and the preliminary unfolding of the small but present amount of dominant/sadistic tendencies UrGoh has.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

I’ve come to realize that I am a pantser, which I didn’t want to claim for a long time because I always found pantsers being really condescending against planners, like “ooh you’re so stuffy and not a Spontaneous Artist!” and I’m a person who sets timers for so much stuff because that actually enables me to feel freer in my day. But when I write stories I just go. This is probably why I can’t reliably estimate my word counts. I AM going to have to plan plot points if I ever write my Golden Age story. This looks like a very casual sentence outline that is long but of course might change. I research as I go as needed. I don’t really enjoy out-of-head planning, but I do enjoy running scenarios and scenes while falling asleep or driving or what have you. But once I’m putting something on the page I want it to be a real draft.

[sailforvalinor]

Incoherent thoughts on Gilmore Girls season 1:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Lorelai Gilmore is nothing like my mom, but watching her and Rory’s dynamic makes me miss my mom. Like maybe it’s because I’ve not seen my mom other than via phone for two months, but I was actually tearing up during the scene where Lorelai comforts Rory after she finally breaks down after breaking up with Dean.

I relate to Rory in a lot of ways (I too carry a book everywhere just because), except I was somehow even more shy and awkward at her age, lol

LUKE DANES MY BELOVED. There are many things I appreciate about this man (his banter with Lorelai is just !!!!!) but how intensely dad-mode protective he gets whenever it’s even mentioned that something bad’s happened to Rory has me in stitches. Surprised at how quickly he seemed to get over Rachel in the last episode. Good for him though! NOW TELL HER YOU DUMMY!! (THE FLIPPING TOOLBOX!!)

I’m trying not to let my scattered knowledge of what happens in later seasons color my judgement of this one, so it must be said that I have a soft spot for Dean. Like, that supermarket scene—I will be thinking about it for the rest of my life IT WAS SO CUTE. And yeah, he overreacted over the whole “I love you” thing, but really neither of them handled that well. To be honest, at least as of season 1, Rory and Dean are handling their relationship in a far more mature fashion than most 16-year-olds. (Yeah yeah I know, it doesn’t last…*sigh*…) Also I had no idea that he was Sam Winchester until my roommate told me 😂

I have conflicted feelings about Lorelai’s parents? Like, on the one hand, they are controlling and manipulative, but it is put in question whether they’re even aware of that fact. Not that that makes it any better, but it gives them a very human element with a lot of nuance that I feel like, if this story were told now, they wouldn’t have. You also get this sense that Lorelai isn’t really trying to repair their relationship in this season, or at least isn’t trying very hard, because she’s so certain it’s doomed to fail and that change is impossible. It’s very interesting.

How are Lane and her prospective doctor boy doing??? I need to know!!!

I also don’t love the Christian representation in Lane’s mom, but I can’t say I don’t find her hilarious sometimes.

I also love that it isn’t cut-and-dry whether Paris and her friends are Rory’s friends or enemies, but people who end up in either category or somewhere in-between from week to week. Feels VERY true to life. Same goes with Tristan to some extent, I suppose, but I mostly want him to step on a LEGO.

The Gilmore’s totally unhinged neighbors are some of my favorite side characters in this show

SOOKIE AND JACKSON MY BELOVED

I don’t know why, I just don’t like Max Medina. Like, he’s done nothing objectively wrong (other than the premarital sex thing of course, but that’s a different conversation), but I just don’t like him. And it’s not just because I like Luke! Idk, he just rubs me the wrong way.

[maerenee930]

random thoughts.

just rambling and kinda venting.

it’s been a week 😣😓😞 and i just really feel like and need to get some thought and feelings out.

- if one more older man calls me doll, sweetheart, darling, sweetie, honey or anything like that when they come up to my station at work and then they also talk to me like i’m stupid, i’m gonna lose my shit!! uuuugh!! like for real! i can’t fucking even with these men! gaaah!! god, and then with the one older guy earlier this week hitting on me and like flirting with me and being so awkward and making me soo uncomfortable and then also being transphobic- i’m just done!

- people getting annoyed with us for procedures and policies we have to follow. 😑 i mean, we have to. we just do. idk what to tell them… it’s just apart of our job.

- some good things that happened, saw someone i went to high school with, (different person from the one i saw earlier in the week 😅 although, i have helped this specific person before lol. but yeah, not the same person as earlier this week 😅) so that was nice 😊 that person was actually in my graduating class, we had some classes together throughout high school and i think he did crew for our plays and musicals (atm i can’t remember for sure lol). but yeah, he was excited to see me again and idk it was just nice ☺️

- ooh umm, i um maybe (but like definitely and for sure) made some not so wise choices this week with my money. 😅 i spent like waaaayy too much on some makeup and clothes.

and yet, i still will be buying some more soon because i legit need more for work because i just do/i would also like to not just wear the same like 5 things. there’s only so many combinations i can do with those outfits that are appropriate for work and that are seasonally appropriate. i just need a few more options 😅 (and some of the clothes i like just bought, most of them are not work appropriate lol. they were just super cute and i wanted to treat myself lmao!) so that’s not great… but i mean, it made me happy so i guess that’s something…? right…?

- had a few coworkers and my supervisors reassure me again that i’m doing a good job and to be patient with myself. 🥺 it’ll get easier in time and i just need to get out of my head 🥺 it was soo sweet 😭

- got complimented a few times on some of my tattoos. that was nice.

- i got complimented on my hair color a few times as well (even though it’s faded/fading still and is like 4 different colors. lol. i mean, someone like commented on it and kinda laughed… they were like surprised but like idk, the way they said what they did and how they laughed, it just didn’t feel great.)

- been feeling very done with myself. between feeling like i’m not doing a good job at work and feeling like i should have everything down by now and understand everything completely at work, i feel like i’m failing.

there is more i want to talk about, but i won’t cause this post is long enough as it is and idk…

it’s just not that interesting and it would just me talking about my mental health (which is still something i’m very much struggling with.) and how it’s not doing well and how it’s been making me feel/how i’ve been feeling very lonely and alone.

[meltotheany]

Goodreads | Amazon US | B&N | Blackwell’s | Bookshop ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley i feel like before i can say anything about this book, i just have to let you all know that i was born and raised in michigan, even though i moved out west after college. but it is also important to know that michigan people love other michigan people! lol like, i am giggling while typing this, but it is also very true and i have never seen another state have this kind of instant comradery before. my family still lives about three hours away from the traverse city area, but i’ve been there so many times, especially during the summer. and this very long prologue of a review is just to say that emily henry really captured the magic of what is a michigan summer and it was absolutely perfect in my opinion. i’m also not sure a book has ever made me miss home as much as the setting of this book, and i just really wanted to emphasize how phenomenally done it was to me, and i would bet a lot of money she has lived there at some point in her life. okay the actual review – i think i can make a dot here: this book is, ironically enough, a story about one person trying to convince another person to build a home and life in a sleepy little michigan city. but let me not forget to type that these two people’s lives have crossed because both of their significant others have decided to leave them for each other! and our main character, after being dumped the morning after her fiance’s bachelor party, has nowhere to go because she picked up her life and moved it to where she thought she would finally set up roots. so she moves in with her ex’s new girlfriend’s ex (this feels so hard to type out lol), and each chapter starts with a countdown of how many days until a fundraiser at her work, at a local library, happens and then she will be able to leave. but maybe she can actually still set up those roots after the fundraiser, but in an even healthy and happier way (filled with some good healing along the way). “That’s what happens when your life partner leaves you for the nicest, sunniest, prettiest woman in the state of Michigan.” everyone is going to talk about this book on all platforms, so instead of me telling you more about this book, let me tell you some things i really loved about this story with some bullet points (besides the michigan bias, obviously): ➛ there is a very big difference between niceness and kindness and this book really shows that throughout. ➛ as you get older, making new friends can be way harder! and friendship breakups can be just as devastating as romantic breakups! but also, it can be really worth it to let people in, even after you’ve been hurt by doing so with others – maybe especially after that. “You can’t untell someone your secrets. You can’t unsay those delicate truths once you learn you can’t trust the person you handed them to.” ➛ this book also talks about some parental abuse that i honestly do not think i’ve ever read about before, and i know it is going to mean a lot to a lot of people. also the way that miles handles that trauma in the present day was something that really made me feel seen and meant more to me than i have words to put in a review here. “I need it to be okay. Because I need to be okay. As a kid, I just felt so fucking scared and powerless, all the time, and now, I just need to be okay.” ➛ and this is also just such a book about community, and carving out space and safety and love with the people who you trust and want to build a home with. especially when you’ve lived a life of not really having much stability, and the thought of it being taken away makes you scared to start to build it. ➛ libraries will always be the heart of cities, with some of the most powerful tools we have to amplify voices and create change. i am actually typing this up during national library week here, and i just can’t emphasize enough how important these buildings, these safe spaces filled with heart, and these librarians are. i would ge...

[littlecafe]

back to my kpop company astrology ramblings, but the style that the two big aquarian companies chose to pursue is kinda interesting and i wonder if it has to do with their moons

bighit: really on trend, they follow the popular music trends (rock, retro) for their groups and do it quickly too so they’re usually the first in kpop to adopt the sound basically introducing to the rest of kpop

sm: always trying to trend set but with more unconventional music trends, currently seems like they’re going for hyperpop which is still niche even globally compared to the bigger trends in current pop music

bighit has an aqua sun, libra moon

sm has an aqua sun, leo moon

libra influences makes bighit actually take into account what they think their audience likes, more conformist and less risky than what leo would go for

leo does care about it’s audience though but they want to do what they want to first and they’re also more stubborn so they’ll continue trying it multiple times before moving on (wait…typing this out makes me think of sm’s obsession with rotational groups lol, they tried it with suju back then and now again with nct)

[mercy-burning]

Roommate Agreement

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader x Luke Alvez Summary: After about a year of living with Spencer, Y/N gets excited when he introduces her to a new potential roommate. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Free use, threesome, cum play, penetrative/unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (male receiving), rough sex, dirty talk Word Count: 2.3k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: I was gonna write this as a blurb, but it got a little longer than I anticipated lol. I’ve been super into this kink/fantasy lately, so uh.. this was just pure indulgence 🥰✌

———

Apartment hunting and living on my own sucked, which is why Spencer Reid coming into my life was the biggest blessing I ever could have hoped for. He was handsome, kind, welcoming... And he let me live with him for free.

Well, not entirely.

But regardless of our little agreement, I still slip him some cash when rent comes up because it's just common courtesy. I'm grateful that he lets me stay with him and provides me with what I need (and then some), and if there's any way for me to return that favor, I'll do it.

He gets annoyed with me whenever I do it, but I always know how to get him to forget about it...

Just thinking about last night brings a smile to my face as I put away the last few glasses in their respective cupboards.

The heavy padding of Spencer's feet behind me makes me turn around then, and I nearly clench my legs at the sight of him, dressed and ready for work, except his dick is out and hefty in his right hand. It's hard, leaking, and by the look on his face I can tell he's about ready to let go.

"Give me your panties, sweetheart."

Before he even gets out the whole sentence, I make quick work of lifting my shirt out of the way and opening up the fabric, pulling it away from my body and giving him an opening. He walks up with a hungry kiss to my jaw as he jerks himself off, right into my panties until he's making a mess of them. I sigh out happily as he hums against my skin.

And when he's done, he kisses my cheek chastely and uses my shirt to clean up a bit before tucking himself back neatly into his pants. I adjust my panties and feel the warmth spread over my skin while he grabs his bag from the back of the chair to leave.

"Have a good day, Doctor," I call with a cute smile, my hand dipping down to feel the mess he made and wishing he didn't have to go.

"You too, sweetheart," he returns with a wink. He turns to leave, but before he's at the door, he throws back, "Oh, and make sure you're dressed properly when I get back, he's coming over with me after work."

"Wait, really?" I ask brightly, my heart starting to race.

"Mhm. He's excited to meet you."

I’d had plans to run some errands today, but as soon as he tells me the good news, I know I won't be able to get anything done.

———

The second I hear the door, I'm waiting like a dog with a wagging tail, excited for extra company and eager to make a new friend. I flatten my tiny skirt, though with how frilly it is, it really makes no difference— I think that as excited as I am, I'm definitely anxious about potentially adding a new person to our dynamic.

My hands reach behind my back and clasp together as I rock slowly on my feet, ready to welcome them when they come through the door.

Spencer, as always, looks positively delicious, and it only amplifies when he sees me and smiles, reaching out for me. "Somebody's excited..."

In his embrace, I laugh and welcome his hand as it slips up the front of my skirt to make sure I've followed his instructions. He quickly runs his middle finger through my opening, a smile forming on his lips— I can feel it against my neck. "Good girl."

"I couldn't help it," I tell him earnestly, refraining from whining in protest when he removes himself from me entirely. Then I look over his shoulder to see our guest of honor, Spencer's co-worker Luke Alvez. With a shy smile, I reach my hand out to shake his. "I have a new guest to impress."

Luke accepts my hand with a smile all his own, accompanied by wandering eyes that make me feel warm from head-to-toe. It reminds me of how I felt when I first met Spencer while apartment hunting last year. Luke's eyes are just a few shades darker but regardless of color, the hunger swimming within them remains plentiful.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," he says smoothly. His voice makes me feel a whole new sense of ease and the overwhelming need to submit to him entirely. "I've heard great things."

With introductions out of the way, Spencer ushers Luke into the apartment and I close the door. "Let me show you around a bit," he says, and the two walk off, leaving me to follow behind.

We tour the whole apartment, Spencer taking his sweet time with the walking and the talking... I swear he's doing it on purpose, to make me wait and get me riled up, but regardless I stay patient and involve myself in their conversations as normal. Actually, it would have all felt like a completely normal apartment tour in the first place, had I not been thinking about how the men accompanying me would use me in the future...

Spencer saves the living room for last, and once we make it to the couch, I pray that he's ready to start showing Luke the added benefit of choosing to live here rather than in an apartment by himself...

And he knows me so well, because he pulls me aside with a cheeky smile, his hand resting firmly on my ass and under my skirt. "So, Alvez, you wanna give her a whirl?"

"You're uh... You're sure this is alright? You don't mind?"

His concern is sweet, but I can see the lust sparkling in his eyes as he looks over me once more.

Spencer laughs a bit, squeezing my ass with a nod. "Of course. Look how happy she is to see you... So ready to be used up..."

Luke's tongue darts out over his bottom lip at my roommate's words, his decision becoming more clear.

Still, I help out. "It's true... When Spencer first mentioned adding a new roommate to our arrangement, I couldn't wait... And you're perfect.

"So what do you say?" Spencer asks once more with finality.

Luke strides over to me slowly, my head tilting higher with each inch he gets closer. He looks down at my lips and smiles before bringing his thumb gently to my mouth. "This pretty little mouth has been calling to me since I walked through the door..."

I hear Spencer laugh beside me as Luke slips his thumb past my lips and over my tongue. I suck it into my mouth with a tiny groan, flitting my eyes up at him and arching my back as Spencer's grip on my ass gets tighter.

"Get on the couch, sweetheart," he says, letting go and giving me a small spank.

Luke's thumb pops out of my mouth and I stumble to the couch, getting on all fours so my hands are on the arm and my knees are buried in one of the cushions.

The unmistakable sound of their laughing fills my ears and makes me even more eager, though I know better than to tell them outright what I want. Unless either of them asks me to, I'm not going to beg. I mean, I'm not sure about Luke, but I know that Spencer prefers when I use visual signs in our daily routine. He likes to hear me use my words, sure, but that's only on occasions where he's in a happier, more giving mood. Most of the fucking we do is when he comes home frustrated and needs to take. No questions asked.

And truthfully, I like that more. Which is why I'd agreed to be his roommate in the end.

Spencer does seem to be more giving today, moving this right along and taking his pants off before walking over to me while his friend follows suit, but I follow our rules anyway, wanting to make a good impression on Luke (though I'm positive I've already secured that bag).

Luke's pants come off too, though he waits until he's right in front of my face. I'm looking up at him with my bottom lip between my teeth, and when he starts to work at his belt, I look down to see.

Meanwhile I feel Spencer's weight dip down behind me, and it doesn't take long for him to slide right in, spreading my legs further and beginning to fuck me steadily. He gathers my hair from my face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand while the other rests at my hip. "You gonna be a big girl and open your mouth wide, or do I have to make you?"

I respond in kind by slacking my jaw and welcoming Luke, his hands coming down to tilt my chin and slide his thick, hard dick into my mouth.

"That's right, sweetheart," Spencer praises, giving me another small spank and a slight tug of the hair. Meanwhile Luke is slowly fucking my throat, pushing himself deeper with each thrust.

Eventually, the two of them are fucking me with perfect rhythm. Each time Spencer goes in, Luke goes out, and their force is even the same. It's building and building with each second, and I can feel my whole body start to go numb with pleasure. My knees are tingling from the couch, my ass is surely red from how many times Spencer has spanked me, and my throat is bruising beautifully.

Spencer's hand releases my ass and reaches out to my throat. The way he's bending forward gives him a deeper angle inside me, and I can't help the choked whimper that comes out of my mouth because of it. He can feel it, too, because his fingers rest just under my chin.

"His cock feels so good down your throat, doesn't it, baby?" he coos, driving into me harder.

I squeeze my eyes shut for a few seconds to blink away the tears that blur my vision, and when I open them I look up at Luke, pure unadulterated bliss painting his features. He looks down at me with awe and lust and need, and I can tell that it won't be long before he snaps.

"When he comes, you're gonna keep it in, okay? I wanna see it..."

I clench around Spencer at his words, and my orgasm follows shortly after. As soon as I start to come down, Luke holds himself still at the back of my throat and comes with a shout, his hands rooting in my hair. I try my hardest to keep it all in, meanwhile Spencer starts to stutter as well. And by the time Luke is pulling himself away from me, his friend is coming inside me, just like he's done so many times before.

It's a familiar, wonderful feeling, though this time it's even better because I know I have cum filling both ends of me. I feel so full, so warm and numb and fucked out, and I never want to go a single day without it that way.

When Spencer pulls out and leaves the couch, Luke makes room for him in front of me. He steps into view then, reaching his hand out to pry my mouth open and examine his friend's work.

"Oh, sweetheart, you look so pretty with all Luke's cum in your mouth... Doesn't she look pretty, Alvez?"

The other man muses, his hand coming down to graze my cheek. Both their hands are on either side of my face, and they're gazing down at me with such wonderment that I swear I'll do anything to feel this way again— to make them feel this way again.

"She sure does," Luke says, and I nuzzle into his hand. "Just like a proper cumdump."

Their words and their eyes and their touches send butterflies soaring through my whole body and bring an open-mouthed smile to my face.

"You can swallow now," Spencer says, tapping my cheek. I do, and immediately afterwards he leans down to kiss me deeply. I lean into him and flutter my eyes closed, the feeling of his cum dripping out of me and down my leg only adding to the blissful state I'm in.

He pulls away, and I glance over at Luke, who has his dick in his hand and an amused smile on his face. "Damn, I could almost go again..."

I can tell he only means it as a way to keep the mood light, maybe as a joke, but in hopes that it will make him more comfortable with the idea that he can quite literally use me whenever he wants to, I smile as sincerely as I can. "That's what I'm here for," I offer brightly, getting up off the couch and trying to stand on wobbling legs.

I somehow manage, Spencer helps to steady me, and then he laughs, kissing me on the cheek. "You two have fun. I'm gonna shower, and then I have to take care of some errands. That okay with you?"

Luke and I give our approval, Spencer kisses me once more, and then admires me for a few seconds before throwing his friend a wink and heading off to the shower.

The moment I'm alone with Luke Alvez, he takes my hand and gives it a kiss. "You really are something special, princess..."

The nickname, while not entirely new since Spencer had mumbled it a few times with my mouth wrapped around his dick, sounds absolutely delightful coming from Luke's lips.

"Thank you," I purr, leading him to the couch and pulling him on top of me. "But there's still so much for you to discover..."

He hums amusedly, tracing my mouth with his thumb again. This time I take it gently between my teeth before he slips his cock inside me, which inadvertently makes me let go of it in favor of a whimper.

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing I'm moving in..."

———

PERMANENT TAGLIST (tags not working are struck out): 

@elldell1204​ @muffin-cup​ @calm-and-doctor​ @slutforthegubes​ @rainsong01​ @yourmisosoup​ @liveloudwriteloud​ @reidsconverse​ @la-vie-en-amour1​ @edgycowboy666​ @averyhotchner​ @centiaaa​ @lizziechaseee​ @coffeeandendlesswords​ @usuck​ @spenxerslut​ @goldensonlyangel @emilyprentisslittlewhore​ @takeyourleap-of-faith​ @reidyoulikeabook​ @spencerreid9​ @b-a-utiful​ @jareauswifey​ @flipperpenguins​ @pansexualthing​ @donald4spiderman​ @awesomebooklover17​​ @shemarmooresfedora​ @izraahh1​ @bakugouswh0r3​ @singularityjc​ @xoxospencerreid​ @thatsonezesty13​ @big-galaxy-chaos​ @mggskneescrews @youabitchhhh​ @spencersjello​ @moonlight-2-6​ @starrylang​ @foreveryoungxx3​ @spencerreidscoffeecup​ @morganwilliams​ @emilyprsntiss @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm​ @gubswh0re​ @mrsobrien888​ @loveeee2134 @umbreonwolfy​ @ayla-1605

If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

[jennagrinsoverml]

hey, could you rec some of the most underrated identity reveal fics in your opinion? i love a good creative identity reveal! ps your fic rec lists are a literal godsend 🥰

So since you asked for underrated, I'm going to stick to the rules of my hidden gems series and try to only rec fics that have less than 500 kudos on AO3. Also, the identity reveal needs to be a feature of the story and not just incidental. I actually had a rec list like this started ages ago, but this one's pretty time intensive in terms of going through the fics and ensuring that the identity reveal is actually a focus. (Which is all to say sorry it took a little while.) Thank you for your kind words. I’m so happy people are enjoying my recs!

lost in translation by @fictionalinfinity

“What do you mean I can’t be Ladybug anymore?”

“I’m sorry, Marinette. With Hawkmoth at large, it’s simply too dangerous for the Miracle Box and the Ladybug Miraculous to be in the same place. If something were to happen...”

-

In which Marinette has to give up the Ladybug Miraculous, and decides Adrien Agreste is the perfect choice for the new holder.

One-shot. So I’ve seen a few fics with Chat giving Marinette a miraculous, but how about Marinette trying to give one to Adrien?

Santa Baby, Slip a Superhero into a Box for Me by therealjanebingley

There's an akuma with the ability to give everyone their heart's desire for Christmas.

But when your heart's desire is your crush, and your crush has a secret identity...who's going to show up under your tree?

Multi-chapter. This is such a creative reveal and one that hasn't received nearly enough love. Adrien's heart's desire is Ladybug. Marinette's heart's desire is Adrien. But that's not exactly what they get when they're hit by the akuma. This is so sweet and fun and funny! And the characterizations are spot on.

team is a four letter word by @ladyofthenoodle

Alya didn’t want to come between Ladybug and Chat Noir. But she didn’t want to stop being Rena Rouge either. And if Chat Noir didn’t want to talk to her, then she’d need to find a different way to prove all three of them could be a team.

Her plan unintentionally brings a few secrets to light, which leads to even more secrets coming to light, which leads to... well, Alya is sure it'll all work out eventually.

Multi-chapter. Warning, this fic is a WIP! I'm obssessed with this one. Season 4 spoilers all over the place, but the dynamics between Marinette & Adrien & Alya & Nino, the characterization, the emotion, the different perspectives and distinct voices!!!! I'm sure once it's complete it's going to zoom past that 500 threshold, but it's so, so good, I'm going to rec it while I can lol

The Angst of Adrien Agreste and Chinese Finger Traps by @coffeebanana

Chat Noir gets gets his fingers stuck in a toy he can't get out of, and Marinette wasn't expecting Adrien to show up to school the next morning with the toy she'd given Chat Noir.

SEASON 4 SPOILERS (Gang of Secrets, Optigami)

One-shot. This should be crack, but it's not. While the vehicle for the reveal sounds ridiculous, the fic does a great job of delving into the underlying issues season 4 has been brewing and actually addressing them in a way that doesn't feel like crack at all.

can i try again (and again and again)? by @karkalicious769

"I won't force you to stay if you're really done," Marinette whispers, voice cracking. "Just… tell me why?" It's a request, not an order.

He takes a deep breath, his heart hammering in his chest. Chat still isn't holding her back, but he's relaxed somewhat, and if that's all Marinette is going to get, then she'll take it. "I…" He searches for the right words. "I thought that I should just rip the bandage off," Chat says quietly. "Get it over with myself before you took my miraculous back anyway."

After his spectacular failure in New York, Adrien relinquishes his ring and role as Chat Noir. Unfortunately for him, Ladybug isn't ready to let him go.

One-shot. NY Special fic where Marinette prioritizes her partner over keeping their secrets. This one hurts, but in a really good way, and it's so well done and feels so true to the characters.

The Handkerchief by meeble

This was their new normal. They slipped into it much more easily than she’d expected. Well, it was easy for her, since she knew him well as Ladybug, but she had been admittedly surprised at how easily Chat seemed to want to know her.

It was a learning experience, in a way. Sometimes, Marinette forgot that there was a boy under the mask. A boy her age, who also had hopes and fears and good days and bad days. A boy who had a rocky family life, who was kind and didn’t want to hurt his friends, a boy who cried at Disney movies and preferred macaroons over any kind of cookie.

And they were friends. That alone made her feel good. She had forgotten, in the midst of everything going on, that she and Chat were supposed to be friends on top of partners. Maybe she had taken that for granted.

One-shot. This is some quality Marichat. I love when the focus is on that platonic friendship that slowly becomes something more. Especially when the two of them spending more time together leads to an eventual identity reveal so that everything can come together and they can be happy together.

Better Half by @somethingvaguetodo

It made no sense to say that she was in love with Chat Noir. Just because they used loving pet names for each other, she liked to sit wrapped up in his arms, and he gave her a kiss goodnight didn’t mean anything. Rena had no clue what she was talking about.

One-shot. This one is amazing because they're both just. So Stupid. The denial is master level and these two are so stupid in love with each other that they reveal themselves in such a stupid way and this is all said (affectionate) because this is quality love square shenanigans right here and I love it a stupid amount.

Revealing Behavior by Socchan

Adrien's attitude takes a turn for the worse when Ladybug reveals her identity to the wrong side of him.

One-shot. This fic is like identity reveal inside of an identity reveal with reveals both deliberate and accidental. And it goes exactly the way I wanted it to with exactly the right level of misunderstandings and stupidity and pining and I really love it!

A Series of Meets: Reach by @damagectrlwrites

Paris is safe, except from the rivalry of its two superhero guardians: Ladybug and Chat Noir. Since they were teenagers, the two have raced around Paris, trying to out do-good each other.

After Chat Noir saves a bus of people from falling into the Seine before Ladybug can even get there, Adrien is in high spirits. He helps a young woman reach some chips high on a shelf, kicking off a friendly conversation that ends with a coffee date.

It’s a terrible day for Marinette. First she had a hectic day at work, then Chat Noir gets all the praise for saving a bus of people, and then she nearly topples over trying to reach some chips. At the very least, a nice guy helps her and asks her to coffee. Surely, things will get better, right?

One-shot as a chapter of a collection of one-shots. (I recommend them all but we're just talking about this one right now.) So I debated including this one since it's an AU and I've recced it before. Ladybug and Chat Noir are superhero rivals, always trying to outdo each other, and being annoyed at the other. Marinette and Adrien get a meet-cute and fall in love. The juxtaposition is perfect and ridiculous and THAT IDENTITY REVEAL OMG I had to include it, it's so good!!

The following fics are amazing and absolutely worth reading, but do feature sexual content, so minors beware.

The Pole Kit and Kaboodle by @chatonne-rousse

When Adrien tries to make getting undressed a bit more entertaining for Marinette, he ends up revealing more than just his underwear.

Rated M. Established adrienette that features them being sexy and silly and hopelessly in love. I love this fic so damn much!!! Watch Adrien being comfortable being ridiculous with Marinette and do a ridiculous (hilarious) striptease for her. Bonus identity reveal that just makes everything even better.

Rated M. One-shot. Definitely one of the most unique reveals I've ever read. I mean a pole dancing reveal?? It's funny and sweet and loving and just so, so good. This fic is the reason that Rosie and I became friends because after I read it I had to read all of her other fics and spam her with comments. But I'm 100% unbiased in this rec because I loved the fic first and the reveal and the post-reveal emotions are EVERYTHING.

@devillustrator | nsfw art blog | will draw for €€€ by @isadorator

Nathaniel is a Starving Artist™ that regularly gets commissioned by Adrien to draw fluffy and cute LadyNoir art. But everything changed when the Hormone Nation attacked.

Rated E. This two-part series is Ladrien with the sexiest identity reveal I’ve ever read in my entire life and possibly my favourite reveal of all time!! We’ve got humour and sexiness and I’ve read this an embarrassing number of times. This is the kind of fic that, every time I read it I’m like “I wish there were 5,000 other fics in the fandom exactly like this one.” Seriously, I don't know why y'all are sleeping on this one but it's so, so good. Adrien's reaction literally made my entire life.

[because-of-a-friend]

Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST

One day I will come up with titles for my works lol. 

Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...

Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting

Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any

You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…

But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.

You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…

“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.

You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”

Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.

You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you. 

*****

You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”

“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.

“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”

“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.

You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.

This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.

But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.

The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.

“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.

“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.

“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”

You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.

Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.

“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.

Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.

Then of course…

“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.

“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.

Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.

Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…

You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.

“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.

“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.

You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.

*****

“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.

“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.

You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.

All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.

“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.

“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.

You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”

“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”

Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”

Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.

The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.

You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.

But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.

It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.

The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.

Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.

Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.

It made you even angrier.

Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???

Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.

Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.

*****

You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?

The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???

A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.

You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.

So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.

“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.

“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.

“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”

“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”

There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.

You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.

To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”

You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.

“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.

But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.

*****

The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.

You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.

To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.

“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.

Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”

“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.

“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”

“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.  

“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.

For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”

There’s more silence for a second.

“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”

Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”

You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.

*****

Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”

“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.

“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.

Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.

“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.

“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.

“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”

“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”

“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.

“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.

“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.

You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”

Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”

“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.

“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.

*****

Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.

You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.

You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.

*****

“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”

“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.

“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”

Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”

“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.

As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?

*****

You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.

You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.

The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.

You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.

You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.

“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.

“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.

“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.

You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.

“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.

“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”

“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.

“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.

You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.

*****

You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.

No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.

You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.

The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...

He really was beautiful.

Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”

You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”

“You sure?” he insists.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.

He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”

You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”

“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.

“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.

Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”

“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.

“But, what?” he prompts you again.

“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.

Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.

You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.

Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”

You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.

*****

Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.

His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.

“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.

Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.

You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.

“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.

“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.

Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.

He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.

“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”

[dolugecat]

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!

[cloudswritingcornerarchived]

Can you write a fic where Wilbur and reader are competing over being Tommy’s internet sibling and are constantly annoyed when they’re in vc together but reader has a really bad breakup and accidentally vc Wilbur instead of Phil or Niki or something and Wilbur actually helps them and they start getting along?

Yeah ofc! Pretty happy with the way this one turned out lol, enjoy anon!

Maybe You’re Not So Bad After All…

CC!Wilbur Soot x Reader

Word Count: Little over 1.2k Words

Summary: You and Wilbur are constantly at war, competing to be Tommy’s internet sibling. You can hardly stand to be near each other, so what happens when you accidentally call Wilbur after a break up?

TWs: Swearing, break-up

Notes: Requests are greatly appreciated, please don’t hesitate to submit one!!

Important: I’ve moved blogs, I’m over @cloudslostlibrary now :) hope to see you all there!

Part Two Part Three

“Hey Tommy!” Your minecraft character strolled over to Tommy’s, smacking him once he was in reach.

“Hey Y/n!” Tommy exclaimed, smacking you back, “the rest of the gang are over here, come on.”

Tommy led you over to the otherside of the hill, voices growing louder the closer you got. You stopped once you spotted the all too familiar yellow sweater.

“Tommy, why is he here?” You scoffed, wondering if it was too late to back out of the stream.

“If it isn’t Y/n.” Wilbur walked right up to you before dropping lava at your feet.

“What the fuck?!” You exclaimed as you ran to the water nearby to put yourself out.

“Come on! Can’t you two just get along for today?”

“He’s the one lighting me on fire! I haven’t done anything to him!” You replied walking over and punching Wilbur as soon as Tommy turned his back.

“See,” Wilbur punched you back and Tommy noticed, not believing your innocence for a second. “He’s so violent, not setting a very good example I might add.”

Tommy sighed and decided to tune the two of you out. You met up with Phil and started to help him find resources while Wilbur and Tommy goofed off.

“I can’t believe him.” You told Phil angrily.

“You should cut him some slack. You both want what’s best for Tommy, you just have different ways of attaining it is all.” Philza advised you, throwing you two shields he had made. “Go give one of those to Tommy and save the other for yourself.”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a minute if that idiot doesn’t kill me in cold blood.”

Philza laughed and you set off to find Tommy. After some searching through villages you finally found the two talking on top of the mountain you had spawned at. You walked up to them, carefully scaling the mountain before throwing the shield on the ground.

“Here you go Tommy, Phil told me to give this to you.”

“Thanks, Y/n!” Tommy put on the shield as a creeper walked up behind him, unnoticed by him and yourself.

“Tommy, creeper behind you! Use your shield!” Wilbur screamed, backing away from the two.

Tommy quickly threw up his shield and killed the creeper seconds before it would have blown up.

“Ay, thanks man.” Tommy looked around him to make sure the area was clear of monsters before he went back to trying to organize his mess of an inventory.

“That was awfully brotherly of me, wasn’t it Tommy?” Wilbur declared, trying to rub in your face that you weren’t the one who saved Tommy.

“I- yeah?-”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself,” you interrupted. “It was a friendly gesture at best.”

“It’s a good thing no one asked you then isn’t it?” Wilbur sneered, spitting as he talked.

“Hey! Hey,” Tommy stood between the both of you, “there’s no need for all that! I think of both of you as family!”

“Okay, but obviously you’re closer to one of us right?” You remarked, snaking around Tommy to sneak a punch at Wilbur which he quickly reciprocated.

“It’s okay Tommy, you can tell Y/n that you like me more.”

“PHIL!” Tommy’s voice trailed off as he ran back towards the village the Phil was setting up at.

“See what you did?” You punched Wilbur, “now you’ve frazzled the poor kid.”

“What I did?? That was obviously your doing!”

“Not even close.”

You and Wilbur threw punches and harsh words back and forth for the rest of the stream. You two clearly wanted nothing to do with each other but were sticking it out for Tommy. If it wasn’t for Tommy you would probably have just blocked Wilbur and moved on with your life, but for some reason Tommy desperately wanted the two of you to get along. He wanted his perfect little internet family no matter your discomfort. So, you stuck out for him. If only to rub it in Wilbur’s face that Tommy fought to keep you around.

After a few hours Tommy decided to call it. You guys hadn’t beated the ender dragon and it didn’t seem like it was going to happen tonight, despite your best efforts. Unfortunately this meant that you would yet again have to put up with Wilbur’s antics tomorrow.

You shut minecraft and said your goodbyes, leaving the discord call. A few seconds later your phone buzzed on your desk. You flipped it to see the lock screen and unlocked it.

It read, “Two missed messages from ‘My Love <3’ just now”

“Oh,” You smiled thinking to yourself, “I wonder what they want, they must have just gotten off work.”

Your face dropped once you clicked to read the messages.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“I just can’t stand to be with you anymore”

“Oh,” You closed your phone as tears started falling rapidly, welling up in your eyes making it hard to see no matter how often you wiped them.

In a panic you went back to discord on your computer and frantically rang Niki. On the very last ring it picked up and before she could even get a word in you started scrambling to explain what happened. It was hard to understand you however because every few seconds a sob would ring through you and interrupt your sentence.

“Take a deep breath, calm down, and explain what’s wrong.” A deep British voice told you through the phone.

“Huh?” You were quickly snapped out of your panic when you heard the British man on the other side of the call.

You wiped at your eyes until you could see the caller ID, “Wilbur? I-, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to call you- I must have clicked the wrong name, it’s fine I’ll just hang up now.”

“No, no it’s alright,” Wilbur reassured you softly, a stark difference from his usual tone with you. “You obviously needed someone to talk to. I just want to know, what happened?”

You took a deep breath and nodded, “I guess since I’m already here I might as well talk to him.” You thought to yourself.

You took your time in explaining how right after you left the discord call you had checked your phone and seen that you had gotten a text from your now ex that they wanted to break up, reading the texts off to Wilbur.

“What a prick!” He yelled, soon thereafter informing you that if you wanted him to, he was not above going to their house and beating them up for breaking up with you so harshly.

You laughed and let him know that he didn’t need to do that, but that you’d let him know if you change your mind.

Your laugh just sparked something in Wilbur. He had never been the one to make you laugh before. Maybe in anguish, but never a genuine laugh like the one you just let out. The more Wilbur thought about it, the more he wanted to make you laugh again and again.

So that’s exactly what he did. You spent the next hour or so on call with him, constantly laughing at his stupid jokes.

“Hey,” You said in between a laugh, “maybe you aren’t so bad after all…”

Taglist:

@allywritesforfun @gray-moon2