#it’s probably the one ‘cutesy’ thing I’ve ever bought for myself

[waugh-bao]

[ordinaryschmuck]

My Favorite Moments from It All Started with a Jacket (Chapters 1-10)

Now that I have written ten chapters of It All Started with a Jacket (how the hell are y’all still reading it), I thought I comemorate the occasion by sharing my favorite moments from each chapter. More specifically, every moment that was the most fun for me to write. This can range from moments that made me laugh at my own dumb jokes, or moments that I felt proud of for how well they turned out. Either way, this list is gonna be long. Like, rrrreeeaaallllllyyy lllooonnng. So you might want to strap in before clicking ‘Keep reading.’

Chapter 1

Amity and the car horn

"Oh no, you don't!" Luz sprinted over to Amity's car, to which her rival had already gotten in, and locked the doors. Just as Amity started the engine, Luz was already there, beating her hand against the window.

"If you think I'm too afraid to break a car window, you've got another thing--"

HOOONK!

"...You've got another--"

HOOOOOONK!

"You've got--"

Amity raised her hand above the car horn again with her eyebrow raised and her grin amused. She was essentially challenging Luz to finish that sentence.

"..."

"..."

"...You'vegotanotherthingcoming--"

HOOOOOOOOOONK!

"THAT TEARS IT!"

Amity sniffing Luz’s jacket (the main reason why I wrote this in the first place)

Amity set the hanger back where she found it and slowly lifted Luz's jacket up to her face. For a while, she did nothing, choosing instead to just stare at it. And then, she briefly took a small sniff.

'Well, that was a mistake,' was all she could think as intoxicating smells of pinecones and lemons started overtaking her senses. Almost immediately, Amity grabbed the jacket with both hands and shoved her face into it, inhaling more of the scent. After letting out a euphoric sigh, Amity looked at it again, shrugged, and put it back on.

Amity’s apology

"I said that I'm sorry." Amity continued, "Not just for the jacket, but for everything. The insults, the name-calling, and especially the fighting. I'm sorry for all of it."

"...Are you dying?"

"Wha--No!" now Amity turned to face Luz, "Why is that the first thing that came to your mind?"

"I don't know, man," Luz shrugged, "This just seems like some sort of final repentance type of shit. Like when Tom needed Jerry to sign him off to take the escalator to heaven."

"Who the hell is Tom and Jerry?"

"The greatest comic duo of all time, that's who!" Luz genuinely seemed insulted that Amity didn't know, to which she rolled her eyes in response.

Luz’s reaction

Luz opened the door and was about to leave. But then:

"I saw the bi flag."

After Amity spoke, Luz froze in her place. One foot was out the door, and her face was already turned away from Amity's, so she couldn't gauge an expression. So Amity took her chance to go on.

"It's hidden in a spot a person could barely notice, so there's no way that it came with the flag already sewn it," she explained, "Even if you bought the jacket from someone else, you could have easily torn it out. I've seen you done worse. But you kept it in, which makes me think that maybe...That maybe you're bisexual."

Luz didn't say anything.

She didn't do anything.

Instead, she stayed frozen in place, and Amity still couldn't tell what was going on in the human's mind at the moment. Not that she ever could. Eventually, Luz slowly and stiffly sat back in the passenger seat and slammed the car door shut. Her eyes were tight shut, and breathing was ragged, and Amity thought Luz was seething. But then Amity recognized what Luz was doing. She had done the same thing many times when forced to talk with her mother.

Luz was forcing herself not to cry.

Luz’s rant

"...Did you not tell anybody?" was all Amity could ask.

"...I told Willow," Luz confessed, "She has gay dads, so I thought: 'Hey, she gets it.' Other than that, nobody else knows. Except for you."

"Not even your mom?"

"Especially not her! She's super religious! If I came out to her, then I might as well pack a suitcase and get ready to live on the streets!"

"Why?"

"Because humans are not like witches," Luz looked back at Amity, clapping her hands for emphasis, "For humans, what matters in life is the color of your skin, the people you like, and the gender you're given at birth. Go against any of that, and you're screwed!"

"That's awful."

"That's life!" Luz stated, her eyes glistening, "And I had to put up with that bullshit for all of it! I had to deal with dumb gringas in the locker room who might think that I was a pervert just because I liked girls. I had to deal with pretending to be interested in one gender and hide a part of myself that people think I should be ashamed of! I had to deal with the fear that the one person I trust the most might throw me to the curb because of something that shouldn't even matter!"

Luz paused to wipe tears that had leaked out from her eyes.

"I had to deal with all of that," she went on, "Because that's just what humans are like. I wish we were like witches. I really do. But we're not, and the sad part is, we might never will."

Chapter 2

Luz is a prick

Luz kicked a discarded beer can down the sidewalk. Only to just as quickly picking it up and ditching it in a recycling bin that someone left out on the curb for trash day. Luz may be a rebel, but she isn't a lazy prick.

"And what the hell does me being bi have anything to do with it?"

"Bi what?"

Luz stopped both her walk and her ramblings after hearing that voice. Looking to her left, Luz saw a woman carrying her groceries to her house. That woman is Mrs. Kranstien, a white, middle-aged gossip who's part of Luz's mom's church group. Also known as the last person Luz wanted to find out that she's bisexual.

"Uh, bilingual," Luz brushed it off, seeming like she isn't panicking right now. Which she is. "Significa que hablo dos idiomas. What else could I mean?"

"Well, you don't have to be so rude about it," Mrs. Kranstien harrumphed, "It is not becoming of a young lady."

"Y no tienes que meter la nariz donde no pertenece," Luz shrugged, "Pero, ¿quién soy yo para juzgar?"

"...What does that mean?"

"It means you're absolutely right, and I am so sorry for being so rude," Luz turned on her heel and kept walking, "Adios, gringa!"

"Is 'gringa' a compliment!" Mrs. Kranstien called out as Luz walked away.

"Sure is! Make sure to say it to your friends when you have the chance!"

Ok, maybe she is a little bit of a prick.

Luz’s indecision

"Should I do this?"

Luz gently rubbed the blade of the knife.

"...Yeah. Yeah, I definitely should."

She lowered the blade over a thread sewn in but stopped a tenth of a millimeter away from it.

"But it's not even noticeable."

Luz raised the knife away.

"Although Blight did notice it."

And lowered it back down again.

"But that's because she was wearing it. It's not like mom could ever wear this."

"But what if it's laundry day and she takes the jacket without you knowing?"

"I mean, that could happen, but she would have to actively search for it."

"Is that really worth the risk, though?"

Luz started twirling the knife in her fingers at this point. The bi flag still remained intact, with not a single thread being taken out. Most days, Luz would barely notice it, and she's the one who always wears her jacket. Now, more than ever, the bright colors of the flag seemed incredibly noticeable.

"No," Luz shook her head, "It's not worth the risk."

She lowered the knife again and even got the blade under a thread. But before she could do anything remotely similar to removing the string, she hesitated. Again.

"...But it's also who I am," Luz sighed, pocketing her knife and putting the jacket back on.

"It's a part of me," Luz lightly beat the back of her head against the wall, "Taking it off isn't going to change anything, and it especially won't make me any less bi."

Chapter 3

Nerds being nerds

Amity nearly spat out her slushie.

"You read The Good Witch Azura?" Luz rolled her eyes at the question.

"Alright, listen," she started, "Before you make fun of me for it, you should know--"

"I love Azura."

"--It's not the cutesy kids' book that people think...it...is..." Luz looked shocked as she faced Amity's wide grin, "What did you just say?"

"It was my favorite book series growing up," Amity explained, "It still is, today."

"...No shit."

"Yeah! In fact, when I was nine, I wished I could have been just like Azura herself."

"Same!" Luz's smile became just as wide, "The grand adventures? The ability to just get along with everybody she meets? That was the shit for when I just a little tater tot."

"For me, it was how powerful her magic is," Amity confessed, "I could only dream of being as talented as she is."

Chapter 4

Snowball fight

And that's when something cold hit her in the back of the head.

Turning around to find the culprit, Amity saw none other than Luz hiding her laughter behind a hand.

"Did you just do what I think you did?!" Amity asked incredulously.

"Hey, we may be cool now...but I'm gonna take a shot when I see it. Alright?"

Amity glared at that, drawing a spell circle soon after. At the circle's completion, two dozen snowballs began to rise in the air around them, and Luz's face became pale to the sight.

"...On second thought," Luz nervously smiled as she raised her hands in surrender, "Parlay?"

"..."

Amity pointed her finger at Luz, and all of the snowballs immediately knocked the human onto her back.

"I don't think so," Amity quipped, walking over and offering a hand to her friend.

“Drug” deal

"Is that a bad thing?"

"...Eh, probably not," Luz shrugged, "I got the goods in my backpack, by the way. You want me to give it to you now, or wait until after school?"

"t sounds like you have drugs in your backpack with the way you said that."

"Who says that I don't?"

Amity let out a light laugh. Luz didn't even seem shocked anymore.

"I'll wait until after school," Amity said when they got to the double doors, "The last thing I need is the wrong person to find out that I like...you know what."

"Got it," Luz nodded only to then lean closer to whisper, "I'll see then for the transfer. And if you get caught, I was never there."

"Ok, now I got to ask: Are you actually planning to give me drugs after school."

"Of course not!"

Luz winked.

"Drugs are bad, especially for our age."

She winked again.

"I wouldn't ever dream of doing something so vile."

And again.

"...I hate you."

"What else is new?"

"Just give me the book after school, doofus!" Amity said between chuckles.

"Yes. Of course. 'The book.'"

Luz winked for the fourth time, and Amity just pulled the human's beanie over her face in response. The two then laughed as they went their separate ways.

Amity’s jealousy

"Hey, is it ok if I ask you a favor?"

"Depends," Luz blew into her hands for extra warmth, "What's the favor?"

"Well...Skara invited me to a party she's throwing next Friday. And I was wondering if you could come with me."

"Which one is Skara again," Luz asked, "I know she's one of Boscha's lackeys, but I can't remember. Is she the tall and skinny one, the small and cute one, or the hot yet nerdy looking one?"

If she wasn't wearing gloves right now, Amity would wager that her knuckles went white with how tightly her hands gripped the steering wheel.

"You think Cat is hot?"

"Eh. Objectively, yeah," Luz shrugged, "Also, I didn't know her name was Cat. Should probably make a note of that."

"She also has a boyfriend," Amity said a little too quick, "And she's straight as a board. So go ahead and...unnote that. Just take that note and...throw it in a river somewhere."

"...Ok? Weirdo."

"Anyways, Skara is the short and--" Amity steeled herself before saying, "Cute one."

Luz helping Skara

She eventually found herself in a hall that led to bedrooms, only to see Skara sprinting around and picking up discarded beer cans and red solo cups and tossing them into a trash bag. She then opened a random door, squeaked, and slammed it shut, leaning against it while pressing her palms into her eyes.

"Why do that in my parents' bedroom!?" she cried to no one in particular.

Usually, Luz wouldn't give a shit about any of Boscha's lackeys. And yet, something compelled her to walk over.

"Are they making out or doing something worse," she asked, which caused Skara to look up in surprise.

"...What...What are you doing here?"

"Don't question it," Luz nodded to the door, "In there. Are they just making out?"

"...Yes, but it's still--"

Luz pounded on the door, making Skara jump.

"Hey!" she shouted, "That's not your bed, assholes! If you want privacy, then go to the back of your car like decent human beings!"

"We're not humans!"

"Not the point!"

For a while, nothing happened. Then finally, two boys walked out of the room, hand in hand with their clothes ruffled, and started shuffling their way down the hall. Skara just stood where she was, not knowing what to say or do.

"Hey," Luz snapped her fingers to get Skara's attention, "If a person starts acting like a prick, be an even bigger prick. Someone's going to eventually back down, so don't let it be you. They'll get the point, then. Oh, and by the way..."

She pulled the photo out of her jacket's pocket and tossed it to Skara, who then fumbled with the thing before catching it.

"Someone tried to steal that," Luz told her, "I don't know where it belongs so, there you go."

Luz then began to head in the direction of the stairs.

"Thank you."

The broken tone of voice made Luz freeze for a second, turning over her shoulder to see Skara looking at the human, her eyes full of gratitude and amazement.

"...Don't mention it," was all Luz said before walking down the hall to find the stairs.

Literally, everything that Drunk Amity does. But here’s the top five:

#5-Snuggle time

"I hate my life," Luz muttered, shuffling over. She pulled the covers up and slowly got into the bed. But once she did, Amity didn't waste a second wrapping her entire body around Luz's. Like a koala bear, clinging to a tree.

"...Do you mind?" Luz's voice cracked.

"What? I'm sleeping on my side."

"Yeah, but I'd prefer it if you slept on a side that wouldn't result in me getting puked on."

"But how will we snuggle?"

"Oh my god," Luz sighed, "You're not gonna back down from this, are you?"

"Mm-mm."

"...tell you what. If you flip onto your other side, I'll--I can't believe I'm saying this--I'll...spoon...you."

Amity gasped, her eyes practically glittering with stars as she looked up at Luz.

"That's even better," she whispered, untangling herself from Luz's body so she can flip onto her other side, already getting into a position to receive comfort. Luz, slowly and reluctantly, turned over to wrap an arm around Amity, pressing their bodies together.

'This is probably punishment for...every shitty thing I've done in my life," she thought to herself.

#4-Drink it!

"Drink it!"

"No!"

"Drink it."

"No!"

"Drink it!"

"Noooo!" Amity flopped face down onto her pillow as if she was a five-year-old. The bunny-print pajamas that Luz changed her into didn't help, either (it was the minor victories). With one hand, Luz started messaging her temple out of annoyance, while the other hand gripped tight onto a glass of water.

"Amity, if you're gonna lay down like a baby, then lay on your side," she explained, "If you face down, or up, then you'll just drown in your own vomit. And is that how you wanna go out?"

Amity flipped onto her side with a harrumph.

"That's what I thought," Luz held the glass up to Amity again, "Now drink this water."

"I don't wanna," the witch wined, "It doesn't have flavor. It's boring. Give something less boring."

#3-Amity’s love for Emira

"Who are you talking to?"

"Your sister."

"Oh! Hey, Luz," Amity started tapping Luz on the shoulder, "Luz, Luz, Luz, Luz--"

"What?"

"Tell her--Listen--Tell...Emira that she is the worst...and that I don't like her. It's an--Look--It's an inside joke between us. She'll understand it when you tell her."

"...Will do."

"Oh! And Luz,"

"What?" This time, Luz was starting to get aggravated.

"Emira--Don't tell her this part--But Emira is, like, the most important person to me. And Ed too. Sometimes. Because they've both always been there for me when our parents are being bigger dicks than they are. I just don't--Hey--I don't tell them that because then they'll make fun of me for it. So don't-- Shh! Don't tell her."

"...You got all that, right?" Luz asked into the scroll.

"Sure did. What the hell did she drink?"

#2-Tossing cookies

Amity's face suddenly paled. Luz couldn't figure what was wrong at first, at least until she saw Amity lurch.

"Oh, shit," Luz then guided Amity over to the nearest potted plant, "Shit shit shit shit--"

Once at the plant, Amity bent over and...lost her lunch.

"...Are you o--"

And then her breakfast.

"...Are--"

And finally tossed one last cookie for good measure.

"...You good?"

"Yeah," Amity looked up at her victim, which was already starting to wilt, "...This my mom's favorite plant..."

She then slapped it.

"Fuck you, plant!"

And #1...

The good news is that Luz finally found her.

The bad news is that Amity was standing on top of a table as everyone stared at her.

"I am the lesbian queen of the universe!" she shouted, "Y'all can bow down and kiss my ass!"

"Get it, girl!"

"You bet I'll get it, whoever you are! Seriously, who said that?" she called back, turning in a circle to find the source of the voice. However, because of Amity's drunken state, she soon tripped on her own feet and fell off the table. Luckily, Luz was quick to realize that wearing heels and being drunk was a bad combination, so she had already run over to the table, ready to catch Amity.

The green-haired witch landed in Luz's arms, bridal princess style. Luz then set her down, but Amity still wrapped her arms around the human's neck.

"You're my hero," Amity said wistfully.

"Yeah, I'm a real knight in shining--" But Luz didn't get a chance to finish her snarky remark. Because Amity leaned in to plant a wet, sloppy kiss onto Luz's cheek. This caused the human to go still and red-faced, her brain ceasing to function as Amity pulled away with a Mwah!

And on the topic of kisses

Luz remained still for a minute or two, ultimately thinking 'screw it,' and kissed Amity's cheek. It was about a millisecond, maybe even half of that, but it did not stop Luz's face from heating up.

"There. Happy now?"

"Nope," Amity faced Luz with a drunken smile, "Because now it's my turn."

"Wait, no- Mmph!" But it was too late. Because the second after Amity spoke, she leaned in to kiss Luz's cheek, giving Luz no time to even turn her head. Which resulted in Amity giving Luz another wet and sloppy kiss, not on her cheek, but right on her lips.

And perhaps it was just as long as Luz's kiss. Probably even a second longer. But for her, it felt as though time had come to a standstill as Amity's lips were pressed against Luz's. But regardless, Luz didn't pull away. She didn't even shove Amity off, despite having every reason to. In fact, when Amity finally pulled away from the kiss, Luz had this strange desire buried deep within her brain, yet she was still aware of it.

Because despite how weird it would be and how Amity's breath will absolutely taste awful, Luz felt a strange desire to kiss her friend again.

Chapter 6

The morning after

Curious, Amity looked over her shoulder to see the culprit.

'Oh, it's just Luz," she thought, slowly turning back over.

...

Amity's eyes popped open.

She whipped her head back to look over her shoulder, which was a mistake because the sudden rush made her hangover say, 'screw you,' and leave Amity with a ton of pain. Once it slowly wore off (or, at least, became a bit more bearable), Amity got a good look at the person behind her. And what she saw both warmed her heart, as well as stopped it.

Luz. Sleeping in Amity's bed. Pressed up against the witch and peacefully smiling as she dreamed.

This left a myriad of thoughts in Amity's head.

'Luz is in my bed.'

'Luz is in my bed, and she's spooning me.'

'...I need to wake her.'

But just as she was about to wake her friend, Luz, in her sleep, then shuffled herself further against Amity. Her sleepy smile had grown wider.

'...And I am dead. I am dead, have ascended the stars, and this now my life for eternity.'

Huge misunderstanding

Luz remained still, glancing between Amity's eyes and her lips. Ultimately, she closed the distance between them and kissed her.

And kissed her again.

And again.

It felt so amazing, with each kiss sending a wave of euphoric energy through Luz's body. It was everything she didn't know she wanted.

"Luz?" Amity gasped.

"Hm?"

"Are you awake right now?"

"Mm-hm," Luz mumbled as she continued to kiss Amity's sweet, soft, hairy--

'Hairy?'

***

Luz peaked open her eyes, and instead of seeing Amity's face, all she saw was bright green. Remembering where she was, Luz's eyes became wide once she took in the fact of what she just did.

"mmBAAAAAAAH!" Luz shrieked, pushing herself to the other end of the bed. Unfortunately, she pushed a little too far and ended up falling off the bed entirely, face-planting onto the floor.

Luz’s hairball

It was Luz's turn to get up as she walked over to the pile of her clothes on the desk.

"Just let me change first and--" She coughed, "--And I--"

Suddenly Luz was coughing severely, her face going red from lack of air.

"Luz?"

"What's wrong?!"

While coughing, Luz pointed at her throat.

"She's choking!" Viney deduced, "Hang on, I got this!"

She ran over and went behind Luz. Placing the thumb side of her fist over the human's abdomen and placing a hand over said fist, Viney began performing the Heimlich maneuver. After a few thrusts, Luz finally coughed out what was obstructing her throat. Once she could breathe again, she got a look at what nearly killed her. Only to see a clump of wet, green hair on the floor.

"...Is that--"

"Anyways, I'm gonna go ahead and change!" Luz squeaked quickly, grabbing her clothes off the desk and dashing into the closet. Viney and Emira looked over at Amity, who, red as a tomato, pulled the covers over her head.

Amity explaining why she likes Luz...which goes on for a good chunk of the chapter and it would be ludicrous for me to paste it onto here. But trust me. It’s a great moment

Chapter 7

Pastor Benson’s sermon and Luz’s prayor

"I think I can speak for all of us when I say that the world is constantly changing," Pastor Benson began his sermon. "For every day, new lifestyles and ways of loving others are introduced and integrated into our society. Just the other day, I was given a chance to experience this first hand."

That caught Luz's interest for a moment.

"You see, my nephew gathered the whole family, everybody that he trusted, and did something none of us could have ever expected. He told us all that he was a homosexual."

Immediately everybody started murmuring with each other. And Luz had to admit, she was more than curious to see where Benson was going with this.

"I know, I know," he silenced the crowd, "I was surprised too. And as he continued, both he and his boyfriend, which was another shock to find out, started telling us all about what it means to be what they are. They explained what they considered the basics, answered questions, and soon enough, Micheal's parents stood up to give him a hug, and everyone else took turns letting him know that he is loved."

Now Luz was really interested.

"Later, I took Micheal aside so I can have a heart to heart with him," Pastor Benson pressed on, "I said to him that he is my nephew and that I will always love him. And no matter what, God will love him too, like all of his children."

For the first time in her life, Luz hung onto every word that a pastor said.

"But sin is still a sin, and I said that it's not too late to save his soul."

'There it is,' Luz thought, slumping into her seat and hoping that her mom didn't notice her reaction. Pastor Benson continued his sermon, but Luz mentally checked out, not caring about what he has to say next. It didn't matter if Benson told the secrets to the universe or the meaning of life. Because of what he said, Luz tuned him out for the next few minutes, stirring in a pissed-off mood she genuinely tried to keep out of church.

"--Now, I would ask you all to join me in prayer before we bring this congregation to a close," Luz heard Pastor Benson say fifteen minutes later. Everyone then simultaneously lowered their heads to pray, with Luz right along with them.

'Dear God,' she prayed, 'If you could be so kind, could you send down an angel or your son or something to tell all these homophobes that being gay isn't a sin. And the only reason why people think that's true is that some dickhead mistranslated a line somewhere. A translation, by the way, that was meant to tell people that pedophilia is awful. Something that some of your own pastors should learn from time to time.

'Because if you could send someone down to get the record straight, I, and many others, would really appreciate it...also sorry for swearing while during prayer. That wasn't cool of me. Bless my mom, and praise be to you.'

Camila and Claire

"If you ask me, that was crossing way over the line."

Camila looked over to her friend Claire, who stood with her as they waited in line at a makeshift buffet table to grab breakfast.

"Are you talking about Pastor Benson or his nephew?" Camila couldn't help but ask.

"Oh, absolutely, it's Benson," Claire whispered so as not to draw attention amongst the chatter, "I mean, here you have a kid who was in a safe space and just wanted to be accepted, only to have your uncle basically say you're going to hell. The man might as well have punched poor Micheal in the gut."

"Aye, I am so happy that you said that," Camila grabbed two plates for herself and Luz, who sat at a table for them. "I understand that he's a person of the lord, but that's taking belief a little too far. I believe in God, and I love him with my whole heart, but I would never say anything like that to Luz. If she was gay, that is."

"I'm right there with you," Claire nodded as she piled food onto her own two plates, "I have five kids. Two of them moved out with relationships of their own. But if my other three ever come to me and say that they're gay, then the last thing I'd do is make them feel ashamed of it."

"Right? I always make it clear to Luz that she can tell me anything. Especially if it's something like that."

Mrs. Kranstien calling Camila a gringa

"As I said, keep an eye on her. For both of your sakes," the gossiper said as she turned to walk in her own direction, "Adios, gringa."

Camila did a double-take.

'Did she just...No,' she shook her head, 'No. She couldn't have.'

Amity’s reaction

"...So we're just going to be spending some time waiting...alone...in a big house with nobody else around?"

"...Basically, yeah," Luz shrugged, "See you then. Oh! By the way, and I know it goes without saying, but try to do something that hides those ears. Because the last thing I need to do is explain why my new friend looks like an elf from  Lord of the Rings."

With that, Luz hung up, leaving Amity to sit still as a statue at her desk. Eventually, she slowly dragged her diary over, picked up a pencil, and began to calmly write.

So Luz, literally right now, just asked me to come over to hang out at her house, completely unsupervised, as we wait to have dinner with her mom. Current mood: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Chapter 8

Boscha’s rage

"You little jackass!"

Luz turned away from her locker to see Boscha stomping over. It was the end of the school day, and Luz was already beyond stressed about having Amity over to her house. The last thing that anyone needs, least of all her, is to deal with Boscha's bullshit.

"Little?" Luz said with an annoyed tilt to her head. "Bitch, I am absolutely taller than you!"

"Not the point!" Boscha yelled once she finally got up to Luz, "Because here's the thing: You draw on my face, I'll be annoyed. You rip my scroll in half, I'll be pissed off. But make people think I have a crush on FUCKING, Matt!? That is something I should kill you for!"

"...I didn't draw on your face."

"YOU--" But Boscha stopped herself to take a deep, calming breath before looking back at Luz with murder in her eyes, "That slimy, greasy, weasely little weasel has been hitting on me ALL DAY! And it's all because of you posting on social media that I like him. I mean, what the FUCK did I do to deserve that?!"

"...Do you really want me to answer that?"

Misunderstanding

"Hey."

Hesitantly, Amity glanced over at Luz again. Who had put her full attention into the girl in front of her.

"Do you wanna make out?"

"WHAT?!"

Luz jumped at Amity's screech.

"...I said, ‘do you want take out?’" she repeated, lifting up her phone, "My mom just said she's going to be a while and isn't in a cooking mood. So she wants to know if you're cool if she picks up some chimichurri sandwiches on the way home."

"Oh. Oh! Yeah, that's fine," Amity could feel her face grow hotter by the second.

"Ok?" Luz texted a reply to her mom, "...What did you think I said, anyway?"

"..."

"It must have been something bad to make you react as if I called you the c-word."

"...So this movie is interesting!" Suddenly, all Amity's attention went to the tee-vee, "My favorite character would have to be that, uh, that girl with the...dyed hair and...giant hammer--What did you say this movie is called again?"

Luz opened her mouth to say something, but a small ping! from her phone distracted her for a bit.

"My mom wants to know if you have any allergies," she said.

"I do not."

"Got it," Luz sent her reply, "Now, as for what you thought I said--"

"Table it for later."

'So I can have time to think of a proper excuse.'

"...Alright."

Luz went back to watching the movie for another minute, looked at her wrist for some reason, and then stared right back at Amity.

"It's now later."

"Luz--"

"Look, if it's something embarrassing, don't worry about it," Luz waved off her friend's concern, "Your brain just misinterpreted what I said. It's no big deal. I'm just wondering what you thought I asked that got you all hot and bothered."

'She called me hot--FOCUS!'

"You really won't judge?" Amity asked for clarification.

"Can't be any more embarrassing than what I did on Saturday."

'I guess that's true.'

"Well," Amity nervously fiddled with the hem of her dress, "I thought that...that you asked if...I wanted to...make...out..."

She glanced over, and, sure enough, a blush was beginning to form on Luz's cheeks.

"...Oh," the human said.

"But it's like you said!" Amity quickly exclaimed, "My brain just misinterpreted the words! It's not like you would ever ask me to do that, right?"

"...Of course not."

"...You hesitated?"

"Hm?"

"I said that you would never ask me to do that, and you hesitated when saying no. Why did you hesitate?"

"I didn't hesitate."

"Yes, you did."

"Pretty sure I didn't."

"Well, I'm definitely sure that you did."

"Well, if I did, then that's because, um..."

"...Because, um, what?"

"..."

"..."

"...So this movie, huh?" Luz looked back at the screen, "It's, uh, Scott Pilgrim, by the way. Just to answer your question...from earlier...about what movie this is..."

And thus came the thickest, most awkward silence between them. Understandably enough, Luz now had no problems with sitting as far away from Amity as possible.

"...How long until your mom gets home, again?"

"Should be another two hours."

"Damn it."

"Yeah."

Baby pictures

"Actually, I do have a photo of that day in an album somewhere," Camila added, "I could go find it and prove to you how innocent Luz was."

Now Luz's face went pale as Amity's brightened with glee.

"No, she doesn't!"

"Yes, I do!"

The poor human glared at the rich girl.

"No. You don't."

"Yes. I do."

"Right then," Camila finished her sandwich and got out of her seat, "You two sit tight. I'm going to go find that album."

Once her mother was out of the room, Luz scooched over to Amity with murder in her eyes.

"I would like to point out that you still owe me, like, five more favors from what happened last Friday," she whispered-growled, "So I would like to cash in one of them for you to not look at my baby pictures."

"And I would like to point out that you saw me at my lowest last Friday," Amity said with a smarmy smile, "Which means I'm at least owed some middle ground."

"...I hate you."

"Sure you do."

Gravity Falls reference

'There's that weird feeling again,' she thought as a tingling sensation formed throughout her gut. It wasn't the first time that day when Luz felt this.

She felt it when seeing Amity's human ears, when Amity admitted that she always wanted to be friendly, and especially when Amity thought Luz wanted to make out.

'...Wait...do I--'

Luz shook her head.

"No, no, no no no," she said to herself, "There's no way. There's just no way! I'm sure this is just some...indirect way of Boscha's words getting to your brain."

Luz turned around to go back inside.

"By tomorrow, you'll laugh about how ridiculous a thought like that is."

At Midnight.

Ever since turning in at nine, Luz could not for the life of her go to sleep.

Why?

Because her head was filled with nothing but thoughts of golden eyes, wild green hair, and a smirk that became all the more attractive, the more she thought about it.

"...Goddammit."

Chapter 9

Skara’s advice

"In that case, as her best friend, I have to tell that she will destroy you."

"Whatever."

"And as her best friend, I probably shouldn't tell you to go for any of her weak spots."

"..." Luz shared a curious look with Gus and Willow, who shrugged. "What weak spots?"

"Well, as her best friend, I shouldn't tell you that Boscha suffered a lot of injuries from playing grudgby," Skara explained, "Like the fact that her right arm hasn't healed right and she prefers punching with her left. Or the fact that she's still recovering from breaking her left leg and that if you kick the back of it hard enough, she'll crumble."

"...It's too bad that you didn't say any of that," Luz played along, "Because that would all be incredibly useful. And I would have to ask why you would tell me that in the first place."

"Hypothetically speaking, if I did tell you all of that--which I didn't--it would probably be because I'm still a little mad that she destroyed my house for the sake of getting Amity back. And that I'm just as sick as you are that Boscha wastes so much time trying to win back a girl that is clearly not interested."

"In that case, I really hate that you didn't tell me any of that stuff. Because then I would have thanked you for the advice."

"And I would have said, 'You're welcome,'" Skara looked left, right, and hugged Luz for a fraction of a second to then scamper off to who knows where.

The first hit

"Uh-huh...I don't know what that means, so here's a question: What happens when I break that oath?"

"Oh, trust me, you won't break it. Now, are you ready to eat dirt, human?"

"Born ready," Luz said, regaining her confidence, "In fact, you can have the first punch."

Boscha raised an eyebrow.

"Really? You sure you want that?"

"Of course. That is unless you're too scared of breaking a nail--"

SMACK!

The entire stadium went 'Ooooh,' due to Boscha sucker-punching Luz so hard that the human immediately went down and into the dirt. Needless to say, Luz was very much awake now.

"JESUS CHRIST!" She shouted as she slowly stood up, nursing the now bruising cheek that Boscha hit. "What the shit do they feed you rich girls?! Also, what happened to no hitting the face?! That was my face! You said no hitting the face!"

"Oh, no, I meant my face," Boscha reiterated, "My face is off-limits. Yours is free real estate."

Adrenaline rush

While Boscha was distracted by that, Luz looked over at her own friends.

Willow scowled with her fists clenched, looking like she was about ready to jump in to kick Boscha's ass for Luz.

Gus was cheering for Luz to get up. At least, she thinks that's what he was doing. A sudden ringing in Luz's ear currently made it hard to decipher what anybody was saying if they weren't close enough.

And then there was Amity, who held Luz's jacket tight to her heart, eyes wide and complexion pale.

That's when it hit Luz: If she loses, she'll be forced by some magic bullshit to never see Amity again. All these weeks of getting close and building...whatever the hell their relationship is building towards would have been for nothing. Worse yet, Amity will be left with Boscha, who would treat the green-haired witch with as much dignity and respect as Boscha treats her friends.

It was the mix of fear and anger from that thought that gave Luz just enough adrenaline she needed to turn towards Boscha and kicked her hard in the left leg.

Goodnight

"Cool. Hey, mom?"

"Yes, mija?"

"If a person asks you to have lunch with them, just the two of you, what would you think that means?"

"I assume that means a person wants to date you."

"Cool. Anyways, I'm gonna go to bed now. Goodnight."

"You’re what?"

THWUMP!

Startled by the noise, Camila turned around to see that Luz had fallen face-first onto the living room floor.

"...Luz?"

"Hm?" Luz mumbled.

"Are you ok?"

"Mm-hm."

Chapter 10

Earmuffs

"Hi, Luz! Question: Me being a male cheerleader. Yay or nay?"

"I think it's absolutely a 'yay,' but we can talk about that later," Luz said as she sat down, "For right now: Earmuffs."

"Aw, what?" Gus whined, "C'mon!"

"No complaining. Earmuffs."

"But I'm younger than you two by two years. I can totally handle grown-up talk."

"Earmuffs!"

Gus groaned, reluctantly covering his ears, closing his eyes, and humming to himself to further block out any noise.

Assumptions

"I don't give a shit that you're dating her." Willow said plainly.

"You see--Wha-wha-wha-wha-What? What? I'm sorry, what? Just...Fucking what?!" Luz exclaimed, completely caught off guard.

"Hey, don't get me wrong," Willow continued, "I would much rather see you date almost anybody else in this school. But if--for whatever reason--Amity is the person you really want to be with, I won't say anything about it. The heart wants what the heart wants. Who am I to judge?"

"...We're not dating."

Willow blinked.

"You're not?"

"No."

"...You're not?!"

Spray Bottle

Then suddenly, bits of water started spritzing onto her face. Looking over, Amity saw that it was because Viney was using a spray bottle on her.

"Bad," she said between spritzes, "Bad Blight."

"What the hell?!" Amity hissed, "Why do you even have that?!"

"I take Beast Keeping," Viney explained as she pocketed her spray bottle, "It comes in handy, so I just keep it on me at all times. Now, back to your dumbassery..."

"Hey, try to look at this from my point of view, alright?" the younger witch growled, "You never had to deal with Luz and her dumb smirk or her...cute round ears and those...those gorgeous brown eyes that are so warm and soft and make you feel all ooey-gooey like a warm chocolate cookie and--"

Viney started spritzing Amity again.

"GAH! Sorry," Amity said, snapping out of it.

And that’s about it. Thank you all so much for reading this story for this long, and a very special thank you to @drabbles-of-writing for letting me write this story in the first place. Now if you don’t excuse me, I’ve got school shit to work on.

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

The Fire

First off I want to say that I visited Wang LingJiao a little while ago and she told me it was okay to write about this. This is her story as much as mine, really. 

She’s doing okay by the way. She got caught up in the initial blast but I managed to get her to safety before any super serious damage happened to her. Her broken arm is healing nicely and said thanks to me there should only be very minimal scarring on her leg. 

She… is not someone I thought I would get this close to. Our personalities don’t really mesh well and she’s rather abrasive when she’s not being sickeningly cutesy. And really at first we didn’t get along at all. 

She was dating a Wen. Wen Chao. So, I know what you’re probably thinking. “But Wei Ying! The Wens are good people! They took you in and took care of you!”

Yes this is true. So like the Wen family, on the whole, is terrible. Basically they’re a big crime family. They’ve got their hands in everything. Like think the actual mafia. But no one can ever pin anything on them because they have judges and lawyers and police in their pocket and blah blah blah. And they always scare people out of testifying against them through threats and shit. 

I mean you’ll never find anything on paper, but everyone knows it anyway. Just a common fact of life. You don’t fuck with the Wens.

Well the Wens that I love are technically related to that main family, but they’re an off-shoot. They branched out to live the quiet life and are wholly uninvolved with the main family. It’s part of why they’re struggling. They get all the stigma of the Wen name without any of the protection or support of the main Wen family. 

Wen Qing is amazing though. She scraped together a medical career and uses it to help as many people as she can. I think it’s her way of trying to make up for her cousins’ sins. Like that’s her job to do. But even beyond that she just likes to help people. She’s got a sharp tongue but underneath it all Wen Qing is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. 

Anyway. Main Wen Clan = Bad, MY Wens = Good! And my Wens =/= Main Wen Clan. 

So Wen Chao. He’s a piece of work. To put it simply. He’s the son of the head of the family and is just as much of a dick as you’d expect. He and A-Jiao were dating for a while and I guess she broke it off? Lady’s got balls of steel because, as she’s intimated to me since then, when you date Wen Chao you wait for him to break up with you. NEVER the other way around. 

She’d been half in hiding when I met her, which is why she moved into our shitty apartment complex. At first nothing came of it. I knew about her and had spoken once or twice. Enough to know that she was kinda bitchy and that I wasn’t really interested in getting to ‘know her better’ as she put it. (That is I was never interested in that to begin with and she was apparently a bit put out that I didn’t respond to her flirting? I didn’t know she was flirting but whatever I guess.) 

Either way. No chemistry. Not interested in being friends. Whatever. She left me to my business most of the time so I just left her alone. But one day I heard a scream coming from her apartment followed by the sounds of banging and scuffling. We weren’t exactly close, but I wasn’t gonna just not see what was going on?

I rushed over and knocked on her door. I don’t think I even remembered her name at that point. There was another yelp and it sounded like she’d been thrown against something. It was quiet then so I tried the door and knocked again when I found it was locked. 

There was the sound of low voices and then after another moment she opened the door. I could tell she’d tried to put herself back together. I could see where her mascara had been wiped away from where it’d been running down her cheek, creating a dark shadow over the bruise that was starting to show already. Her lip had been bitten and I could see blood at the corner. Her hair was a mess. 

She snapped at me to go away. Said she had it under control. 

I.. didn’t even think. I should have called the cops but what would they have done? And I didn’t have a phone on me anyway. 

I just.. Pushed her back and forced my way inside, putting me between her and whoever it was that was in the apartment. Turns out Wen Chao came in person with one of his goons. What an honor. 

I know she was yelling at me. Telling me this was none of my business. But she was scared and hurt and I wasn’t gonna stand by and do nothing. 

The rest… was a bit of a blur. I grabbed something. A bat? Yeah I think. She has one that she keeps by the door in case she needs to beat up an intruder. I must have grabbed that. Wen Chao stood back at first. I managed to take out the goon and… 

Listening to A-Jiao’s testimony, apparently I ended up wrestling a gun away from Wen Chao. I remember holding it. Pointing it at him. 

I almost pulled the trigger… I wanted to… I was so close… But.. she put her hand on my arm.. And for a moment.

This is ridiculous but I saw my Shijie in her. Telling me that it was enough. To put the gun down. 

A-Jiao...Jiao-Jie she told me to call her after all we’ve been through. She’s nothing like Shijie… but…. 

My family keeps growing in the strangest ways, doesn’t it?

She told me to put the gun down and I did. Wen Chao ran off, promising it wouldn’t be the last we’d see of them. 

I was shaking. I couldn’t let go of the gun even though it was pointed at the floor now.

I almost killed someone. Even if it was someone like Wen Chao. 

That… that anger… the resentment… it scared me. I was really going to kill him. Someone I’d never even met before. It still scares me. 

In the end it was the gun that helped us win the case. Jiao-Jie and I talked for a long time after that and after she stopped yelling at me for ‘making things worse’ she was willing to listen to what I had to say. 

She said that if I’d left things alone he would have just hit her until he got bored and left. 

I maintained that 

How long until he got bored?

How does she know he wouldn’t come back?

How badly did she think she was gonna get hurt before he was satisfied?

Besides I can’t just sit there when someone’s getting hurt. I can’t. 

So I told her this way we could press charges. Get her some real protection. We ended up doing a lot of research into the legal system. Went through a lot of people to find some lawyers we could trust. Some that we didn’t think would get bought.  Wen Qing helped a lot. She wasn’t a part of the main family anymore but she still had a lot of valuable insight. I took Jiao-Jie to see her and get patched up. 

We worked together to build a case against him. Since I didn’t have a family for him to threaten and wasn’t scared of physical violence against myself he couldn’t scare me off. 

There was no reason for him to think I was connected to his cousin either so they were safe. (Wen Chao, it turns out, is not the brightest bulb)

I kept most of this quiet because of obvious reasons until the trial. In the end we won. I’d turned the gun in to evidence and there were pictures of my injuries and Jiao-Jie’s as well as our testimonies as evidence. They tried to scare me off a few times but I still showed up.

Actually I’m pretty sure them trying to scare me off is why I got stabbed that one time but I can’t prove it. 

But anyway. 

Anyway

It feels like we were working on this case for a million years. But we won. We managed to win the case!

I mean it was little more than a slap on the wrist for him, but still! We beat a Wen! In the end his father posted his bail and got his sentence reduced. But the restraining order stuck.  He wasn’t allowed to come anywhere near Jiao-Jie or contact her. 

For all the good it did. 

It was late when I heard the first boom. An explosion went off. Loud enough to make my ears ring. I heard a scream and it was so similar to that first night but so different. And then the smell of smoke and the sound of rubble and the faint screeching of an alarm as things collapsed. I ran out to her door. I remember having to smash it open. My hearing came back about then. I could hear the screaming of the fire alarm then and the roar of the fire. How could there be so much so quickly?

I remember calling for her. Where was she? I remember hoping against hope that she was out celebrating with her friends or something. But no. There. She was stuck with her arm pinned under something. Some large piece of furniture. I was almost to her when the sound of another explosion going off shook our world again. A bookshelf fell forward and I just managed to block it with my own body before it fell on her. It would have fallen on her head and she was trapped. She couldn’t have gotten away. 

I don’t know how I got out of that. I know that’s probably when my hair caught fire. I remember her reaching up to try to push the bookshelf off of me and pat out the flames all at once. It hurt so bad. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t leave her there. 

She was coughing and yelling at me to get out. But I wouldn’t. How could I? I remember she managed to leverage her legs over against the bookshelf and together we managed to shift it over. Books falling all around us like little fireballs. Catching the rug and blankets and whatever else. 

We kicked the bookshelf aside and I remember having to find a board or something to help lift the thing on her arm. What even was it? I can’t remember. I just know it was heavy and too hot to hold. I levered it up and got her arm out. 

We hung onto each other and managed to pull each other out of the flaming apartments. Found out later… 

I was saved by a fluke. The bombs were supposed to go off at the same time. I was… it was right where I was sitting. It almost guaranteed would have killed me if I hadn’t gone to check on Jiao-Jie. 

Well, Madam Yu always did say I was gonna get myself killed sticking my nose in other people’s business. Guess she was right. 

But I got lucky this time. I’ll have some scarring on my chest and shoulder. A little behind my ear where my hair caught. But it could have been so much worse. 

By the time we got out I could hear the sound of sirens in the distance, difficult over the roaring of flames still in my ears. I managed to pass Jiao-Jie to someone before I fell over. I think someone caught me. No idea who. 

I was in a bit of a daze for a while. I remember someone starting to look at me. I told them I was fine and to look at my neighbor first. She was much worse off. 

Someone was talking about a hospital. Can’t afford a hospital, was all I could think. Then I thought… Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan would help. 

It was almost morning. I started to walk. I managed to slip past everyone in the commotion and just kept walking. I had my phone and keys in my pocket - I’d never bothered to change that night so I was at least not wearing pajamas.  It was so early there was hardly anyone around to gasp at me. I must have looked monstrous. 

One foot. Then another.

Step.

Step.

Step…

I don’t know how long it took me to get there. It seemed to take years and no time at all. I don’t... Know what was going through my head. Clearly I was still in shock and should have stayed where I was but. Well. I’m an idiot. 

I remember seeing that there were people in the cafe. I didn’t want to bother anyone. I just wanted to hide. I just wanted Lan Zhan. 

I snuck into his apartment to wait. The apartment was safe. Lan Zhan was safe. 

Lan Zhan helped me before. Lan Zhan could help me now.

I realize now that I never should have put this on him. 

It really wasn’t fair to him. 

I know I hid. I don’t..really know why. There’s a space in the livingroom. Between the couch and the wall. 

I think… I think I didn’t want to disturb him. If he came up while he was working. I didn’t want to bother him.

I’d forgotten I was supposed to be working myself. Not that I was in any state to. Apparently he’d been looking for his phone to call me. He’d tried from the cafe’s phone and I didn’t hear it go off. 

Didn’t hear it go off when he called me from his cell either but apparently that’s how he found me.  I don’t know how long he’d been calling my name. 

I finally snapped out of it when I heard something about an ambulance. I think it connected back to where I was after the fire. No hospital. No ambulance. 

I grabbed his wrist, trying weakly to pull his phone away from his ear even though he hadn’t even started to dial yet. 

“No hospital. Lan Zhan.”

I was asking for him, not realizing he was the one I was talking to yet. It only lasted a second but it was so jarring. Lan Zhan. I was begging for Lan Zhan but there he was. I don’t think he even registered that I was asking for him. 

I repeated myself though. Not the hospital. I didn’t want to leave him. Lan Zhan was safe. Lan Zhan is home. I couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from him. I was pleading to him to let me stay, though all I could manage to say was that. He looked so lost. So worried. But he nodded. And he agreed. No hospitals. 

I threw myself at him. I don’t know if I was able to feel pain at that point or if I was just in so much pain that a little more didn’t register. I remember him trying to be careful as he held me back. I know he didn’t want to hurt me more. I must have smelled like ash and cinder. But he didn’t complain. He just buried his face in my charred off hair and let me sob on him. 

I… don’t really know how long I was holding on to him but suddenly Shijie was there. Had he called to her? I hadn’t heard. Or maybe he managed to text her. I wasn’t paying attention. I was just trying to breathe. To smell anything other than smoke. To take comfort in his arms. 

Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is safe. Lan Zhan is home. Lan Zhan. 

She asked what happened. Lan Zhan said there must have been a fire. 

Just thinking about it. I started shaking again. Maybe I’d never stopped? I’m better now but fire still puts me a bit on edge. I gotta get over it but I’m taking it slow. 

I remember the two of them trying to get me to let go. Let go of Lan Zhan. Unacceptable. Impossible. No no no. 

But eventually I realized it wasn’t to take him away but just to move me to Shijie instead. 

That… that I could do. I’ve cried in her arms more than she deserves but what was one more I guess? And she wanted to hold me. She told me so. And Shijie only tells me the honest truth. So who am I to deny her anything?

But then she said something to him and he left. 

He left he left. I panicked because Lan Zhan. My safety. 

But Shijie was there. And she managed to calm me again with soft words that I don’t think I fully heard. But the sound of her voice. Her hand so careful on the bits of me that weren’t raw and burned. 

Eventually I calmed down enough to let go. Shiji lamented the loss of my beautiful hair as she gently cleaned up some of the worst of my burns. We couldn’t just leave them untreated,she’d said.  I didn’t care just then but I didn’t say no when she offered to trim it up for me. In the end we had to crop it short. The fire hadn’t gone quite to my scalp but it had burned my ear. 

Shijie… I didn’t really look, couldn’t get myself, until much much later. But she did a pretty good job. I don’t think I’ve ever had hair this short and I don’t think I’d ever willingly do it again, but to her credit she did a great job. For what it is. It’s still so weird to run my fingers through it though and have it just… end. 

She was almost done when Wen Qing arrived. Apparently Lan Zhan had called her and she had brought Wen Ning and A-Yuan with her so that Lan Zhan could come back to me.

Aaahh Wen Qing. I love you, you glorious woman. 

Shijie took the soft towel she’d draped around me and they peeled off the remnants of what used to be my shirt and pants off so Wen Qing could look me over. 

I was lucky. Mostly it was 1st and 2nd degree burns. A little bit on my chest was 3rd but it was small enough that we didn’t have to worry about skin grafts or anything serious like that. All in all we needed to keep it clean and bandaged and I would heal in a matter of weeks. 

And with Wen Qing’s treatment and Lan Zhan’s care I did heal. The worst of the scarring is over my heart. A brand I’ll carry for life. 

But that’s okay. It’s a sign that I protected someone. I earned that scar and managed to save Jiao-Jie. I’ll wear that proudly until I die. 

I remember Wen Qing was telling us some care instructions. Wisely she told them to Lan Zhan because fuck if I was gonna remember. 

Lan Zhan… I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him for long. He looked so worried and serious as he listened to the instructions, nodding as he understood.  

Eventually the two of them left. I know at some point Shijie called Jiang Cheng to tell him what happened. I got a phone call from him later asking about me in his gruff way of being concerned. It was good to hear his voice. 

For the rest of that night I stayed by Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is safe and that’s the idea that stuck in my mind. And bless him he let me. 

He made salads for us to eat that night so that he wouldn’t have to use the stove or oven. Was he wary about them too? Or did he just know that I was? Probably the latter. He’s so.. Good. 

I think… at some point I fell asleep on him. You know. Like old times. I leaned against him on the couch and the next thing I was aware he was gently nudging me awake so he could change the bandages. I was confused at first. Where had the sun gone? I didn’t remember falling asleep. He seemed sorry to wake me but he was right. Wen Qing had said to change the bandages before bed and in the morning. At the very least. 

So I grumbled and let him help me remove the shirt of his I’d borrowed.

You know… since all my clothes were lost to a fiery inferno.

I started thinking about that as he started undoing the bandages to rub ointment on my burns. 

So many people are without homes now. Half that building burned down. And the rest isn’t structurally sound now. All because some ass hole couldn’t take being dumped? 

Because I couldn’t stay out of other people’s business. 

But… there has to be a line, right? The Wens are all powerful because people are afraid of this shit. But we won once, right? So who’s to say someone couldn’t win again? And maybe even with something bigger. Because we showed them they can’t just do whatever they want. There are consequences.

But.. there are consequences to those consequences. And more pain. And more victims. 

My thoughts were beginning to spiral again. But every time they did, I heard Lan Zhan’s voice. Telling me it was okay. That I was safe. And it brought me back. 

I was safe. I was with Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is safe. Lan Zhan is home. 

Over and over in my heart. Lan Zhan.

He asked me to turn around but all I could concentrate on was the feeling of his hand on my waist. I held it, pulled it around me. I would turn. In a minute. But for now I needed him. I needed Lan Zhan. I needed to feel my home around me. I’d lost one home. And then another. But I wasn’t going to let anything take this home from me. My Lan Zhan. 

He asked me to let him treat my chest after a while - the worst of my injuries. I nodded and slowly turned. Somehow I’d managed to get on his lap. Had I done that? Or had he?

I know it probably wasn’t helpful, but I held on to his neck while he worked. I could feel his pulse under my fingers and it was so important. That pulse. 

I was the one who’d almost died but somehow all I could think about was the fear of losing him. What if it was him they’d gone after instead? What if… what if…

If I ever lost him… I don’t know what I’d….

I can’t think about it. 

He wrapped me up in clean bandages that Wen Qing had provided. But his hands didn’t leave… he smoothed them flat with such a gentle touch and then…

I watched him lean forward. He pressed a kiss over the burn on my chest. Over my heart. I could barely feel it, he was so gentle, but it burned in an altogether much more pleasant kind of way. I watched him move, completely transfixed. I couldn’t look away. And when he looked up again.

His eyes caught mine. He was so close. I could feel his breath on my lips. 

I didn’t even think about it. I surged forward and closed the distance. 

Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan. 

I kissed him with everything I had and he was kissing me back. 

The world melted away and all I could feel was him. I couldn’t smell the smoke. I couldn’t feel the fire. I just knew him. 

My world narrowed down into the touch of his hands and the feeling of his mouth opening against mine. The sound of my name spoken against my lips. So soft. Yet rough. Raw. Perfect.

I was lost. 

I remember shifting with each leg on either side of him. I just needed to be closer. In any way closer. To let this light feeling chase out the rest of the fires that licked the back of my mind still. 

And he made this.. This SOUND. 

Dear god. 

Fuck.

He kissed me harder and I couldn’t find a way to keep my hands still. I clutched at him His hair. His shoulder. His hip. His back. I just needed him closer to me. 

And then I was on my back, Lan Zhan pressed so close against me. 

It wasn’t until I felt the sting of my burns rubbing against the bandages that I snapped back to reality. 

When I realized how wrong what I was doing was. 

I’d just lost everything. I’d lost my home and everything I owned (well almost everything. I had some stuff at Lan Zhan’s but that’s neither here nor there). 

I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I was hurt and scared and desperate. And I used that to get him to kiss me. 

I didn’t do that intentionally, true, but what was he going to do? Push me away? Tell me no?

Lan Zhan is so good. And if that’s what he thought I needed…. He’d give that to me even if it wasn’t something he wanted. 

It was selfish. It was manipulative. It was wrong. I was wrong. 

And what’s worse… 

What’s worse. 

He regretted it. Immediately. Worse than any burn I’d received I think… my heart truly broke when he pulled away from me. 

“Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

Fuck. I can hear it so clearly even now. He shouldn’t have. Even though I’m the one that manipulated him he was the one saying sorry. 

I pushed away from him as fast as I could. He mentioned something about my wounds and I just said it was fine.

How could they hurt compared to what else I was feeling. The shame. The mortification. 

And even then.

Even then. 

All I wanted to do was kiss him again. 

I ran away then. To the guest room. I think I said goodnight. Said I was tired. And I ran. 

I couldn’t trust myself around him right then. I couldn’t trust I wouldn’t try to throw myself at him again.

Because I’d had a taste and now it’s all I can think about. Every time I’m with him, alone or otherwise. I remember the feeling of his lips on mine. The taste of his skin. The feeling of his hair under my fingertips. His heart beating against mine. 

I shake with the memory. I..

Uugh… 

So I ran. Because that’s all I know how to do. I hadn’t used that guest room in forever. We always just share his room. We’re both more comfortable that way.  And… well maybe that was selfish of me too. Tricking him into sharing things platonically with me when they’re anything but platonic on my end. 

How many things would he have done differently if he knew how I felt about him? Is it wrong? Tricking him this way? Would he push me away if he knew?

We talked the next day. I told him.. That the kiss was nothing. It was just a rush of emotion from the fire. That it didn’t have to change anything between us.

He agreed.

And my heart broke again. 

But even so.. I don’t know… what would I have done if he’d said no? That he wanted it to mean something? That he wanted to kiss me again?

I… I hope I’d have pushed him away. I.. I hope I would have been strong enough.

Because… Ugh this is complicated. 

But in this situation. He couldn’t have possibly consented. And neither could I. There’s too many high emotions and extenuating circumstances. 

Neither of us could truly say that those outside factors didn’t affect things. 

Because they did. They do.

I have nowhere else to go. I’m completely dependent on him. He’s provided my job and my home until I get things figured out on my own. And he already knows that I’m in emotional turmoil. He’s already dealt with me trying not to shut down from an emotional blow just a month ago. And to be honest, I’m not 100% recovered from that either. 

So how can he say no if I asked him to date me? To kiss me? Does he risk me falling into that pit again? 

Of course not. 

So I can’t trust that it’d be something he really wanted. Not like this. 

And so it’s good, really, that he agreed we were still just friends. That the kiss was only that. Just a kiss. Nothing more. Nothing less.

The heat of the moment. 

And it didn’t change anything. 

I know that it’s good that he agreed. That it’s the only answer I could accept. But…

It hurt. It hurt so bad. 

I still shake with that pain. My burns are healed and the bandages are gone. My skin is a bit tender but even that will fade. 

But that pain. Of having tasted what I could have had and having to turn away from it. 

And. And I want to clarify. HE didn’t hurt me. I did it to myself. Lan Zhan would never hurt me. Could never hurt me. It wasn’t him. It was me. 

I broke my own heart.

We agreed things wouldn’t change.. But they did. It was… it was so tense. In a way that I’d never felt with him. Things said and unsaid hung between us. 

I was still staying in the spare room. I wasn’t sleeping. Every time I tried I heard Jiao-Jie’s scream. I smelled the fire. 

In my mind Lan Zhan was there. Trapped under the fire. And I couldn’t help him. Couldn’t save him. 

And it was all my fault. 

And when I woke up in a cold sweat after not really sleeping to begin with. All I could do was go to the livingroom. To where I could still smell the smoke. 

And I scrubbed. I tried to scrub away the smell. The soot. The memory. 

I scrubbed until all I could smell was the cleaner instead. But then the next night the smoke was back

And I scrubbed. 

It aggravated my hands. The burns on my fingers hurt so bad.

But I couldn’t stop.

I scrubbed.

I… I don’t know if Lan Zhan ever found out. I’m pretty sure at this point dust is repelled by the mere memory of my elbow-grease there. 

I didn’t stop until the third night. Lan Zhan came to me. He asked me if it was okay if I stayed with him again. In his room. 

He said he didn’t want to lose what we had before all this mess. That he missed me. 

I was.. I was powerless against that. Because all I wanted to do was to bury myself in his arms. To have him hold me. Keep me safe. 

So I agreed. It was what we both wanted. It was how we were both happiest.

So it’s okay, right?

And… oh… oh the nightmares… They’re not gone, but they’re so much better. I can sleep through the night most times and when I start awake it’s soft enough that I don’t wake him up. And I can stare at his sleeping face for a bit and get back to sleep again after. 

And things are better. Between us. I mean I’m still an idiot and was clearly making things worse still seeing as he even had to talk to me about it on Christmas Eve, but I’ll talk about that later. 

But overall… things were better. Are better. 

Especially. Since…. 

Okay I can’t talk about Christmas right now. It’s too much all at once. 

Next time. I promise. 

[kirareykenobi22]

Reylo Coffee Shop AU

"You know," she heard her best friend Rose say. "As a barista, I feel like I should tell you that you look like you could use more coffee. But as your best friend, I feel obligated to tell you that maybe you just need some sleep."

Rey groaned as she straightened up from leaning against her open textbook at her table. "It's not like I can sleep in my dorm room. My roommate is the worst." Giving up on studying, she packed up all her supplies as she started into a rant. "She got this new boyfriend, and he basically lives in our dorm now. I barely want to study with a stranger in the room, I definitely don't want to sleep with him around. And do you know what my roommate said when I talked to her about it? She had the nerve to tell me that I'm just jealous." She slammed her textbook and looked to Rose for encouragement. "Can you believe that?"

She was met with pursed lips from Rose. "So I'm not saying what she's doing is fine, cause it isn't, but are you sure that none of this hostility is coming from just a little bit of jealousy?"

"I am not jealous."

Rose raised her hands in defense. "All I'm saying is that you also seemed a bit touchy like this when Finn and I started dating."

Rey rolled her eyes harder than she ever had. "You guys met here. At a coffee shop. Do you know how cliche that is? Who actually meets their soulmate in a coffee shop?"

"Technically we met in freshmen biology. I just didn't work up the nerve to ask him out until he started coming here everyday for coffee."

"I have not had enough caffeine for this conversation," Rey said massaging her temples.

"I'm not making you anymore coffee," Rose warned, getting to her feet. "One sec, I've got another customer."

Rey's eyes followed Rose back to the counter, and she sat up a little straighter when she saw the waiting customer. A well-dressed man stood at the counter and gave a small smile as Rose took his order. Maybe it was just a result of all the relationship talk, but Rey couldn't help but notice that he was insanely attractive. He had dark wavy hair and dark eyes that swam with hidden depths of mystery. And he was tall. Rey was rather tall herself for a female, but this man would've towered over her still. Even though a counter separated them, she could see that the top of Rose's head didn't even reach his shoulders.

Rey immediately felt self-conscious of her hair, which was pulling up in the world's messiest bun, and of her shirt which may or may not have had more than one coffee stain on it. Her gaze didn't stray from the man, but he never looked her way. He simply waited for his coffee, and he left as soon as Rose handed it to him.

Rose returned to Rey's table a minute later taking off her apron as she sat. "And that is officially the end of my shift."

"Who was that guy?" Rey asked with a one track mind.

"Why?"

"Just curious," Rey shrugged.

Rose chuckled. "I don't really know except that his name is Ben. He's been coming in every day for about two weeks now to get coffee. And you've been sitting at this table studying for about two weeks now. But I guess you just now noticed him?"

"Ben, huh?" she asked, her mind drifting. "And you said he comes in here everyday?"

"Yeah... What are you planning?"

"Absolutely nothing."

*****

"Are you wearing mascara?" Rose asked incredulously the next day.

"Maybe," Rey said coyly as she dropped her backpack on the ground at her table.

"Who are you trying to impress? Is it about that guy you were asking me about yesterday?"

"Can't a girl just feel like looking nice just for herself?" Rey asked as she pulled out her laptop.

"Well of course a girl can. But you never do."

Rey may or may not have put a little bit of extra effort into her appearance when getting dressed this morning. She put on a subtle layer of makeup, although obviously not subtle enough, wore a nice black blouse, her best jeans, tall boots, and even wore her hair half down. But it's not like she was trying to impress anyone. Nobody but Rose paid attention to her anyway.

"I just felt like changing things up today. Don't overthink it."

Rose narrowed her eyes as she returned back to work. One peppermint mocha latte later, Ben walked in the door. Rey stared over the top of her laptop as she pretended to be writing her research paper. Once again though, he got his coffee and left without even looking in her direction.

She frowned slightly as he walked out. It was fine. She wasn't upset. It's not like she'd been expecting anything. Only people like Rose got cutesy love stories in coffee shops, and Rey's life certainly wasn't a fairy tale.

When Rose's shift ended and she came to sit, Rey didn't hesitate before speaking. "So his name is Ben Solo."

"What? No middle name. I'm disappointed." Rose laughed.

Rey glared. "His full name is Benjamin Lucas Solo. Now may I finish?"

"There's more?" Rose sighed as Rey's glare intensified. "Of course you may finish."

"He's a senior in his final semester here. He's graduating a semester early in case you were wondering. He's a political science major with a minor in literature. His mom is Leia Organa and his dad is Han Solo! And that means his uncle is Luke Skywalker!"

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Should I know who any of those people are?"

Rey groaned. "Leia Organa is only one of the most influential senators of this generation. and Both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker are famous war heroes. Han with the Air Force and Luke with the Army. Come on, Rose. And I thought I lived under a rock having grown up in an orphanage."

"Okay, okay," Rose said. "So he's related to pretty important people. How did you even find any of this out?"

Rey waved a hand. "The internet knows everything."

"But how did you..." Rose trailed off and shook her head. "Never mind. I don't wanna know. So what are you gonna do with all this information?"

Rey sighed. "Nothing. There's nothing do with it."

"You know, you could just try talking to him. He seems nice enough."

"He probably doesn't want to talk to me. He's related to so many important people, and I'm just some random nobody."

"Well, you never know until you try."

Days passed and Rey continued to dress nice to stare as Ben came to get coffee only to leave without speaking to her. One day she was almost certain that he looked at her, but that's about all she had to show for her efforts.

On the last day of finals, the last day she could see him before he graduated and left forever, Rey had an idea. As soon as she got to Starbucks, she walked up to the counter where Rose worked.

"Grande peppermint mocha latte?" she asked with a knowing smile.

"No," Rey said firmly. "Well, yes. But also no."

Rose scrunched up her eyebrows. "I'm confused. Do you want one or not?"

"I do. But I was also wondering, do you know what Ben's order is?"

"Of course." Rose smiled. "He orders a black coffee everyday."

"What?" Rey scrunched her nose. "Why? Why come to Starbucks and just order a black coffee? Wouldn't it be cheaper to just buy a Keurig?"

"Maybe," Rose shrugged. "But he said this gives him an excuse to see someone everyday." She sent Rey a pointed look.

She blanched. "You don't think he means me, do you?"

"Look around. Who else is in here everyday?"

"Then why hasn't he ever spoken to me?"

Rose let out an exasperated sigh. "Why haven't you ever talked to him? You both are assuming the other doesn't want to know you."

"Okay, okay." Rey took a deep breath. "I'm going to buy his coffee today. When he comes in to order just point him in my direction."

"I can do that."

Fifteen minutes later, Ben walked in and Rey felt her stomach flip. What if she made a huge mistake? As he walked up to the counter and talked with Rose, Rey honestly felt like running for the door. She watched Rose hand him his coffee and point in her direction, and she braced herself for the inevitable.

He walked over to her table with a small smile. He gestured to the empty seat across from her. "May I?"

"Of course," Rey forced herself to smile instead of showing the anxiety she felt.

"So you're the one who bought my coffee today." His voice was a low rumble that somehow seemed to make him even more attractive.

"Oh yeah," Rey tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I see you in here everyday, and I've been meaning to introduce myself but I never got the chance, so I figured this was just as good a way as any."

"Do you know who my parents are?" he asked.

"I do, but that's not why I wanted meet you."

"Really?" He seemed genuinely shocked. "That's usually the only reason people talk to me. They see me as their gateway to fame."

"Well I promise that's not me," she said. "I just think you look like a really nice guy is all." And you're super cute so if you wanted to marry me that'd be cool too, she added in her head.

"You're Rey, right?" he asked.

Her jaw hung open for a moment. He knew who she was already. He knew her name. "That would be me."

He smiled. "I've read some of your research papers the university published. If you could actually manage to create the technology you proposed that could change the world."

Now her jaw was definitely hanging open. "No way! You actually read those papers? The department made a big deal out of publishing them but I didn't think anyone would even look at them."

He laughed. "Well I read them. And I'll admit, it made me a little curious about the girl who wrote them so I may have done a little research on you."

"And learned that I come to this Starbucks to study literally every single day?"

"I may have noticed that."

Rey laughed now. "So do you have big plans for after graduation?"

He shook his head. "Not really. I want to go into politics like my mom obviously, but my dad's still bugging me to become a pilot. And my uncle has always wanted me to join the army. Did you know that my uncle made me do an army military camp with him one summer in high school?" He laughed. "Worst summer of my life."

"Really? Was it really that bad?"

"Oh it was the worst. I told him I was going to burn the place down to save other children from having to go through what I did."

Rey burst into laughter. "I'm assuming you didn't actually burn it down."

"No, but I came close."

"Okay, but seriously, you've gotta have some kind of a plan for what you're about to do with your life."

"I do," he relented. "But my goals are more long term. The short term goal is to get to know you outside of this coffee shop."

Rey gave a small laugh. "You're just messing with me now."

He shook his head. "I'm not. Here." He passed a napkin over to her with his messy scrawl on it. "It's my phone number. I'm hoping you'll get good use out of it. Being the son of national heroes means you're actually pretty lonely most of the time."

Rey smiled broadly as she took the napkin. "Well you're not alone anymore."

Ben smiled back. "And neither are you."

[itsblosseybitch]

My first lust was John Lennon.

Puberty hit me hard at age 11. Around this time, my dad showed me the Imagine documentary, and when I saw the footage of Lennon at the height of Beatlemania, I was instantly smitten. Here was this witty, funny, outspoken, badass dude. I wanted to be like him. I thought he was hot as balls.

It wasn't weird to me at the time that he was long dead. I definitely had a crush and admired him, but it was easily overpowered by this intense lust. He was the first man that I really wanted to fuck.

I was a psychotically horny pubescent. Sometimes I look back on the shit I did at that time and can't believe that not only did I do them, but that I had felt absolutely no shame at the time. Nor do I feel shame now. Sometimes, I feel ashamed that I'm not ashamed, if that makes any sense. By the time I was in Middle School, I was openly horny and talking about sex with my friends. One of my good friends, who I still keep in touch with, went on Facebook one time to say that the first time she met me, she thought I was so perverted. The Hormone Monster made me do it.

Around this time, I joined a Beatles forum right after I turned 12. I had been lurking on the forum for some time, but was intimidated because all of the members were so witty and funny that I thought I had no chance in hell of ever fitting in. One of my first posts on there was in response to "things that piss me off" and the administrator later shot me a message saying that he saw I just turned 12, and was going to kick me off but he thought my post was so funny that he decided to let me stay. I didn't think of myself as funny up until that point, and it made me feel like I discovered my superpower. This man, Tony, was and still is hilarious, so it meant a lot coming from him. I still keep in touch with a lot of them to this day.

As you can imagine, I was very open about my lust for John. This was highly amusing for all of them. I shared journal entries from the time that went into great detail about my sexual fantasies.

Now my mom fucking hated John Lennon, and she still does.

I was getting into colorizing B&W pictures at the time (some of which I've posted on here), and I showed my mom a colorization of a scene I did from A Hard Day's Night. It was a shot of John putting the Coke bottle to his nose, which I thought was absolutely hilarious. My mom vehemently disagreed.

"It looks like he's snorting coke!" She exclaimed.

"Well, yeah, that's the joke..."

I don't quite remember how else that conversation went, but I remember her blowing it way out of proportion. To be fair, my mom had just divorced my dad and was under a lot of stress at the time, living by herself with two daughters working low-paying jobs. On top of that, her youngest daughter just hit puberty and has a crush on your least favorite Beatle (and her father's favorite)!

My mom thought John Lennon was an anti-government, pot-smoking drug addict and "nothing to idolize." She would have much preferred I was into Paul McCartney, but I found Paul way too cutesy and not sexy at all. I tried to explain to my mom that Lennon was more anti-Nixon than anything, but it didn't make a difference.

My mom was raised Southern Baptist, and my mom hates marijuana to the point that you would think it was meth. I'm sure she doesn't hate it as much, but she definitely did at the time.

At the height of my Lennon/Beatle obsession, I was desperate to get my hands on Ray Coleman's biography of him. Unsurprisingly, my mom was not down with the idea. Yet my oldest sister was a Real MVP and secretly bought the book for me. My mom found out, of course, but in hindsight, my oldest sister more than likely told her to calm the fuck down. I don't have that biography of him anymore, but I remember enjoying it. I've always wanted to read Phillip Norman's biography of him, but haven't gotten around to it.

My now former Brother-In-Law once told me that mom read my journal entry about wanting to suck John Lennon's cock and that she freaked out. I once confronted her about reading my journal entries on a separate occasion after my dad told me she was doing this. She accused my dad of trying to turn me against her, which was probably true on some level. Yet I had literally everyone in my immediate family but her tell me she did this at the time.

[autumn-kitten]

Tag Post

I was tagged by @springbearhime, thank you so much!!!!! ♡ ♡ I don’t think I’ve ever been tagged in one of these things so it made me unreasonably happy :’)

Posting this under a cut because it ended up being super long!

Nickname: Nic, Rose, Shy

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 20 as of this March!

Time: 10:31 am

Fave Artist: Radiohead right now. PS friendly reminder to blacklist the tag radiohead if you don’t wanna see me spamming, I just queued like 50 radiohead posts bc I have a problem lol

Song stuck in my head: This excellent, underappreciated one hit wonder, She Blinded Me With Science. Also, this live version of Radiohead’s Videotape, because it includes a cool part in the middle that isn’t on the recorded/studio version and I love it.

Last movie I saw: The Incredibles 2

Last thing I googled: Trying to figure out how to properly use the Amazon Alexa my mom bought, lol.

Other blogs: I have a Tera Online blog, which is dead rn because I’m not playing Tera very much anymore and the blog is on another email address so it takes too much effort to access it lol. I also partially abandoned it because I got the feeling people didn’t really like me on there.. got a whole lot of mean anons and all my mutuals stopped talking to me and uhHhh idk what I did but sorry y’all... I think I just complained way too much there honestly.  I also have a private rant/journaling blog, because I need to write things down to help me deal with it/get it out of my system.

Do I get asks: I wish!! Sometimes people do message me though but I always get shy ahah. Send me anons! I will answer anything! Hit me tf up!

Why I chose my url: Oh boy, I made this blog when I was probably 16. Autumn was my favorite season and I adore cats. I didn’t use this blog at first because I already had one I was active on and had a lot of friends/mutuals. When I was like 18, this guy I was dating at the would go on that blog and have a huge freakout over nearly everything on it (you posted a selfie and responded to someone that complimented you with a heart??? ARE YOU CHEATING????, etc), so I moved here. I feel kinda bad, I had like 10 messages from different people saying “this blog has zero posts and I want this url can i pls have :(”

Following: 631 LOL. Most people aren’t even active anymore so I should probably go through and clear that out...

What I am wearing: I don’t have work today so I’m still what I slept in - soft Mickey Mouse print boxer shorts and the shirt I wore yesterday lol

Dream job: I don’t really know what I want to do!! Something that makes me happy and doesn’t suck the life out of me, which idk is possible. The idea of working for the rest of my life really depresses me. I am very interested in a ton of things but am not talented at any of them (music, art, film directing or editing, computer programming/coding, writing/editing) so I’m hoping to take some classes at my community college and see if there’s something I’m able to pick up. As a kid I wanted to be an actress (I had no anxiety until I was like 12, it was wild - I was a theater kid haha), then all through middle and high school I wanted to be in a band or be an author/editor, and when I was like 18 I wanted to be an English teacher for quite a while but I’ve realized I’m too shy and definitely not assertive enough.

Dream trip: Japan and all over Europe. Also Australia/New Zealand!!

Fave food: Oof this is hard... I honestly just love food in general. Sometimes it’s burgers and fries, sometimes Chinese food, sometimes Pad Thai, sometimes sushi, sometimes pizza, sometimes pasta... Food is delicious, lol. Right now I’d say probably burgers and fries?

Play any instrument: I took piano lessons for a few years as a kid but hated practicing bc there was pressure from my parents and eventually quit. I wanted to learn how to play the drums but my parents said it was “too loud” so I played trumpet for 4 years in the middle school band and jazz band (because trumpet is SUCH a quiet instrument, lol). I self taught myself guitar in 8th grade and was in a band that never got off the ground, but I haven’t touched guitar since I was probably 16 and really wanna get back into it. I’d love to learn play bass guitar and drums!! Also, fun fact... I was SUPER obsessed with harps as a kid and really wanted to learn how to play one until I was like, 11.

Play(ed) any sport: Aside from being a theater/band kid, I was also v sporty since my dad really wanted boys, hahaha. I played soccer, volleyball, and basketball! I played soccer the longest but I ended up being better at basketball than anything else... but I loved volleyball the most, lmfao. I made some “tryout only” teams for all three sports, which was cool, but any and all sportiness died when I was like 13 or so because Depression Says No and honestly my heart wasn’t in it anymore, it started out as a fun activity but after I was about 10 or 11 I was just doing it because my parents wanted me to and I was really miserable. It was a blessing when they let me quit.

Hair color: Blondeish?? I think?? It’s kinda strawberry blonde in some light.

Languages spoken: English, and three years of classes worth of Japanese. I love languages but it’s super, SUPER hard for my brain to learn them. I want to get back into Japanese, though, because it came pretty easily and was a lot of fun! I tried to learn Spanish for a while since I was living in Argentina, but I was horrible at it and kept adding in Japanese on accident because apparently my brain could only handle two languages and not three, lol.

Random fact: Hmm...  I was incapable of rolling my R’s until new years eve this year.. I was v drunk and apparently was just sitting at the table going rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... after months of trying to learn how to do it and not even knowing the proper technique I was just rolling my R without even trying/knowing I was doing it. I’ve been able to since that day, lmfao.

Describe yourself with an aesthetic: Oh boy I don’t even know how to do this??And it depends on my mood??? My brain can’t decide who I am or what my aesthetic is, sometimes it’s crazy cat lady with a huge library in her house, sometimes it’s girl at the county fair with a flowy dress and sunflowers in her hair, sometimes (often) it’s “hi I no longer have black hair anymore but I still feel emo/goth in my soul™, sometimes it’s some bullshit 90s vaporwave stuff, sometimes it’s just “haha i’m here for the memes”, sometimes it’s telescopes and observatories and stars and astronomy, sometimes it’s cutesy pastel... idk what my aesthetic is.

Also here’s a relatable picture of me, ty for reading. I tag... anyone that wants to do this bc I really don’t know who to tag ahhhHhhHHHhhh

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

A New Beginning

A fic I prompted myself, based on this list of 50 Romantic Prompts.

Broadchurch, HardyxMiller.  First date.

#52 - Can I kiss you? #55 - Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars? Have you swallowed a romance novel? Do I need to call a doctor?

Tagging @timepetalsprompts​ for the Alec Hardy adoption drive.

AO3

Ellie stared into the mirror in her bathroom, properly nervous.  After months or years, depending on who you asked, of tiptoeing around each other, she and Hardy had tentatively decided to try a more romantic-type relationship.  It was finally the night of their first date, and she was paralyzed by fear.

“Ellie?”  Beth knocked on the door.  “All right in there?  It’s been ages – you need to leave soon.”

Startled, Ellie accidentally sent several containers of makeup flying on the floor.  Cursing, she bent down to get them as Beth let herself in.

“I’m fine,” Ellie huffed, straining to reach a bottle that had skidded behind the toilet.

“I can see that.” Ellie didn’t appreciate the amusement in her friend’s tone, though it did reassure her somewhat.  One of her biggest fears when they’d finally decided to make the leap had been her friend’s reaction.  Maybe it was partially because it had been a few years now, but other than a quirked eyebrow and a ‘Really?’, Beth had been nothing but supportive, even if she couldn’t quite see in Hardy what Ellie did.

“I just can’t help thinking, what if this goes…” she trailed off, not sure how to finish the sentence.

“What are you scared of? Going out once, having an awful time, and deciding to call this off?  No harm done, might be awkward for a bit, but you’ll get through it.”  Beth reassured her.  Then her eyes lit with understanding.  “But that’s not it, is it?  You’re worried about if it goes right!”

Sinking down onto the closed toilet lid, Ellie nodded miserably.

“What if it does? What if it goes really well, and we have a wonderful time?  What then? What do I do?  How do I even begin to prepare for that possibility?”

Beth considered for a moment before suggesting, “Shower, shave, wear clean underwear that matches?” Ellie’s head jerked up, eyes wide.

“I’m not going to shag him!” She half shouted before looking guiltily at the door, hoping Tom hadn’t heard her.

“Then what’s the worst – or best – that could happen?  Look, neither of you has been in anything close to a relationship in years, right? My guess is he’s just as nervous, if not more so, than you are.  Just go with the flow, and whatever feels right.”  Beth encouraged.

Ellie mindlessly played with her finger where her wedding ring used to lay, worrying, “What if he wants things to move faster than I’m comfortable with?”

Beth snorted.  “It’s taken this long for him to man up and ask you – trust me, you’ll probably have to be the one to make all the moves from here on out.  I can’t see him pressuring you for more than you want to give.  I’ll be surprised if you tell me he kissed you, when you call me tonight as soon as you get home.  Which you’re doing, by the way.”

Ellie made a face, but didn’t argue.

Sensing her friend was a bit calmer, Beth took her hand and gently led her out the bathroom, down the stairs and to the front door.

“You should go, or you’ll be late.  Call me tonight and tell me everything.  I hope you have a wonderful time.”  Beth did a last makeup and hair check, before handing Ellie her purse.  

Ellie was grateful to have such a compassionate, understanding friend.  She couldn’t imagine getting through this without her.

Chin up, shoulders back, Ellie marched out the door to her car as though she was going into battle.

-

Hardy nervously paced his living room, waiting for Ellie to show for their first date.  He’d spent weeks obsessing over every little detail, and made more than a few panicked calls to his daughter to doubt the wisdom of his plans, when not the date itself.

Finally the night arrived, though he couldn’t help his fears.  On Daisy’s suggestion, he’d tried to do something different, rather than just make a reservation at a restaurant like he had back in the spring with whatever-her-name-was.

He was just reaching for his phone to cancel when he caught sight of Ellie on his patio, and was left breathless.

She was stunning.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered that this was the first time he’d seen her in a dress, but he was mostly in a daze.

He managed to get the door open and murmur, “Hi.”

“Hi.”  She smiled shyly, unable to look at him without blushing.

“You…”  He worked his jaw for a moment, trying to get something out that would sweep her off her feet, finally managing, “You look good.” He immediately cursed his own awkwardness when her smile faltered.  “Better than good,” he tried to reassure her, though the resigned look in her eye said the damage was done.

“Thanks.  So do you.”  She moved on, refusing to admit her disappointment to herself.  He’s still Hardy, she told herself firmly.  What did you expect?

“Thanks.”  The conversation died there, as they just stared at each other.  After a long few moments, she raised an eyebrow.  “So…”

“So,” he mimicked, before coming back to himself.  “So! Uh, I have everything set up.  Um, you may want to leave your shoes here?”

Intrigued, she lifted one foot then the other to remove her strappy heels, noticing when she glanced down that he was barefoot himself.  Part of her hadn’t actually expected him to have a plan, and she was pleasantly surprised to be proven wrong.  Leaving her shoes just inside his door, she beamed up at him.

“All right.  Now what?”

Quickly checking that he had his phone and keys, he locked the door and gallantly offered her his arm.

“This way, milady.” With an exaggerated bow that made her laugh, they linked arms and headed down the path to the beach.  They’d only been on the sand for a minute when she stopped short, having realized where they were headed.

Just ahead, there was a blanket already set up, with several small coolers surrounding it.  Electric candles were settled at the corners, waiting to be turned on.  It seemed Hardy had well timed it so they would be just settled when the sun began to set.

As beautiful as the scene was, she could help that her gaze was drawn a bit farther past, seeing a white tent only present in her memories of that awful day.

“I’m sorry, if it’s too painful.”  Hardy murmured in her ear; she jerked around in surprise to look at him.  He was gazing at the same spot.

“I wanted to be close to my place, in case we needed anything – there’s a chance of showers tonight. But if you’d rather go somewhere else-” He looked nervous and unsure himself, trapped in the memories as much as she was.

“Um…”  She deliberated, but it was ultimately the vulnerable look on his face that convinced her.  “I’m all right, if you are.”  He sent her a small grin, making her glad of her choice.  Leading her the final few steps, he helped her sit on the blanket before slumping down next to her.  From her new vantage point, she realized something with a start.

“Hang on-”

“Yeah.”  He gave her a bashful smile.  “This is approximately where we met.”

Not sure how to feel about that, considering that meeting was roughly twelve hours after her husband had murdered their son’s best friend and Hardy had stolen her job, she decided to settle on being touched that he remembered that, awful as it was.  In the ridiculous, convoluted saga that was their lives from the moment they met in this spot, it seemed somehow fitting.

They sat together in silence, somewhat awkwardly, until he remembered that he had organized the evening.

“Oh!  Uh, d’you want a drink?  I’ve got wine,” he offered.  Mostly for something to do with her hands, she agreed, laughing at the wine glasses he pulled out of a bag.  They were plastic and stemless, with a cutesy beach theme on them.  Hardy noticed her gaze and rolled his eyes.  “Daisy bought them,” he explained unnecessarily.

“They’re perfect,” she reassured him, taking her glass in hand.  He held his up, and she matched him.

“To us – whatever that may mean.”  It wasn’t the most romantic toast she’d ever heard, but it still sent warm butterflies through her stomach.  He had the most intense look in his eye as he watched her sample the drink.

“So – you seem to have a plan?”  She invited him to share, smiling mischievously at him over the lip of her glass.

“Believe it or not, I do.” Carefully setting his glass in the sand, he began to list the different food he had brought, explaining that he thought they could watch the sunset and then eat.  Throughout his explanation, her grin widened, until she was full out beaming at him.

“What?”  He tugged at his collar nervously, worried about her reaction.

“Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars?  Have you swallowed a romance novel?  Do I need to call a doctor?”

He drooped in disappointment, and she regretted her teasing.

“It’s lovely, Hardy, thank you,” she said sincerely.

“Yeah, well.”  He shifted uncomfortably.  “Still Hardy, then?”

“Do you want me to call you Alec?”  She was surprised; she knew how much he hated his name, and unlike the first dinner they shared so long ago, she now knew why.

He shrugged, as though it didn’t matter.  “Well, this is a date, yeah?  And first names are customary?”  He frowned into his wine.

“Yeah, but we’re hardly a traditional couple.  You already know I prefer Ellie, but it’s up to you what I call ou.”  She was curious, watching as he seemed to struggle with himself over something as ostensibly simple as a name.

“How about this,” he said finally.  “We’ll start with Hardy for now – I’m more comfortable with that.  And I’ll try to call you Ellie – out of the office.”

She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, before smiling again.  “Fair enough.”  She blushed, embarrassed at how much she was smiling, like a girl on her first ever date, rather than a forty-plus divorcee.

“So.  How are the boys?”

-

“I couldn’t look her in the eye for a month!”  Ellie finished her story about a bad meeting with Fred’s teacher just as they reached Hardy’s front door.

His head tipped back with laughter, Ellie couldn’t help but marvel at how handsome the man in front of her looked in the moonlight, so different from the person he usually was.

They stood there somewhat awkwardly at the door, shuffling their feet and looking anywhere but at each other.  Hardy was the one to break the silence.

“Do you want to come in? For tea, or something?”  He immediately realized what he had implied, and his ears went bright red.  “I mean, I’ve got ice cream, or we can talk on the couch – I’m not propositioning you,” he rushed to assure her, before frowning.  “Unless you want me to?”

“Uh…”  She laughed breathlessly, charmed at his babbling. What once had been a great source of annoyance had grown to become an endearing quality, provided he wasn’t embarrassing her in front of others.  Or turning down food.  “Suppose it depends.  What time is it?”

He checked his watch, squinting to see in the dim moonlight.  “Uh, half one, actually.”  He said surprised.

She was stunned – she’d had a wonderful time sitting on the beach talking with him, but hadn’t realized it had been so long.  She would have guessed it was no later than ten – the thought that they’d spent six hours together without a single disagreement left a strange feeling in her stomach.

“In that case, I should be getting home.  I told Beth I’d call her; don’t want her reporting me missing.”  She grinned up at him.  “I’d hate for this to end because we got called into work for a missing detective.”

“Fair enough.  Though it’d certainly be the easiest case we’ve ever had.”  He didn’t argue, those she didn’t miss the slight disappointment on his face before he could hide it.  He quickly fetched her shoes, helping support her as she struggled to get them on. Finally declaring victory, she straightened up but kept her hand on his arm, and he left his on her elbow.

“Hi.”  She let out nervously, and he chuckled in response.

“Hi.”  He tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear before letting his hand linger on her cheek.

“I had a wonderful evening,” she told him earnestly, biting her lip.  She couldn’t deny the thrill that went through her when his eyes dropped to her mouth, before darting back up to her eyes.

“Me too.”  He told her roughly.  “You really do look spectacular.”

She blushed, ducking her head.  “Thank you.”

“So… you had a nice time?” He looked over her head, terrified to look her in the eye.

“Amazing,” she assured him. He took a deep breath, before looking back down at her.

“Enough to consider doing it again sometime?”  Her eyes lit up, and she couldn’t help but nod.

“Yes.”  She laughed at her own eagerness, and he grinned at her.

“Me too.”

“Good.”

“Yeah.”

They just stood there, smiling at each other, before she remembered the time.

“I really should be going,” she said regretfully, slightly surprised at how much she didn’t want to leave him.

“Do you need a ride?”

“No, I drove here remember?”

“Right,” he murmured, as though he’d already forgotten what they were discussing.

“Yeah.”  A thousand thoughts were flying through her mind, wondering what he was thinking.

“Mill- Ellie?”

“Mm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

She stared at him, surprised that he had asked instead of just doing it.

“Please do.”

He did.

[flowers-in-your-dustbin]

All the numbers again (second tag reblog)

1: When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal cause I like to drink it!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yeah, but when I can get into the warmth after that's even better!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I try to remember the page number instead so usually end on a multiple of 10 or 5.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea: Two sugars, milk, hopefully brewed by the gal. Coffee: I don’t!

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Kinda!

6: do you keep plants? Nope!

7: do you name your plants? None to name!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Oils if I had the money for that so typically watercolours

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I am right now.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Typically side, but back is fine. Not stomach really!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? Oh My Gouda.

12: what's your favorite planet? Uranus ;)

13: what's something that made you smile today? My gal surprised me with a beautiful orchid

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Edgy expose brick aesthetic

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Uranus’ blue glow is due to an abundance of methane which filters out red light.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Spaghetti carbonara probs! Especially cooked by the best.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I don’t! I did want pastel pink in August.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I had a paddy fit in primary school because I used to always sabotage my meals so I didn't eat them but I spilt milk on something I legitimately didn’t mind having... I cried over spilt milk.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do! I write the days events and my feelings, I draw key points or little objects. Not all the time tho.

20: what's your favorite eye color? A nice hazel-y to chocolate amber brown woop

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. A grey Kanken Fjallraven, if Switzerland counts as hell, there you have it.

22: are you a morning person? Yeah! I’m straight too!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Exactly that, nothing. With a side of music.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Only the one.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? An abandoned slaughterhouse. Soz vegans

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Black old skool vans hehe original

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Strawberry!

28: sunrise or sunset? Why not both in a day?

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? I’m not sure!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? I’m not sure, close calls/

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I like socks. Weird socks are fun. So are odd ones. I do not sleep with my socks, nor do I confine myself to white sock hell.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. We had deep convos for the time, we probs cried, then probs went to sleep.

33: what's your fave pastry? Uh choux just cause I can remember that is one. Hahahaha.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had one called Baxter Bear which was the best, he was quite obviously a bear with a red scarf and his own passport. I threw up on him in the car and he was never the same again, he disappeared short after. Don’t ask about Scrubs the dog.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do, I just don't use them often.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? The xx

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? A healthy middle.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Couldn’t possibly. There’s a fair few.

39: what color do you wear the most? Probably black? Emo ik.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a necklace I got for my 16th its very cute and only comes out when I have heterosexual days to masquerade it. It’s nice.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, it’s my favourite ever. I don’t read as much as I used to, sigh.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! There’s a cute local one. They do unreal Nutella pancakes and its quite central and very aesthetic-y. Yum!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My gal, typically on the way to my car where I point out Orion or The Dipper. It’d be nice to do it properly sometime.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Two days ago.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? When I need to.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Someone mentions a dog, then I normally incorporate the word ‘ruff’ as a homophone for ‘rough’ and get death stares. But I like it.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Gherkins.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Abandonment/loneliness hahahah yes it is.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I do like buying records yeah! I can’t say until April the 23rd but I’ll have bought another by then.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? I don’t think I do have anything odd!

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Uncomfortable by Wallows, as well as Fast Food by D.I.D and many many more.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? The new Patrick one is doing pretty good.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Nope, nope, nope and nope!

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog. I didn't walk him.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Hahahah you wouldn’t want to know. 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Feeling secure with them, if you get me.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? CAN YOU DO THE FANDANGO!?!?!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? K is probs the wine mom bc I'd say A but she’s not as sensible, thus A gets the Aunt role.

59: what's your favorite myth? Bulls hate red, they’re actually colour blind lmao.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t mind a bit of poetry! Marking Time by Owen Sheers is noice.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Me and mum put a fancy brooch in a pack of digestives for someone. I’ve received stupid spellings of my name on the birthday cards.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Rainbow order woop.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yep!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Cutesy and white and blue and stuff idk. But I wouldn't wear one haha.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Serene! Albeit Silent Hill-esque

68: what's winter like where you live? Fun! Cold! Disruptive!

69: what are your favorite board games? The Game of Life/Monopoly/Articulate!

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope!

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? English Breakfast, brewed by the girlfriend.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? I've been known to be.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Overthinking. Nail biting.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Ginger.

75: tell us about your pets! A doggo! A beagle! and a fish...

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Revising!

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Yellow

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? anyone in the fanclub needs natural selection to do its thing.

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Surprised me at work with flowers.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? White, because I’d like grey but we haven’t got there yet or painted the house since its still pretty new.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. I don't have the time for that shit.

82: are/were you good in school? I was! I still think I am! Who knows.

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Smithsmithsmithsmithsmiths

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Yeah! Quite a few. All tonal, but above all a Venus sign and more importantly the great wave off Kanazawa by Hokusai

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don't fun fact I used to read them start to feel sick.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I feel stupid for not knowing what they are.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Donnie Darko.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not Gothic. Can’t go wrong with a bit of impressionism.

89: are you close to your parents? I think. Depends on the time of day.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Starts with E, ends in Dinburgh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere abroad really, just a couple of good cities.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Barely sprinkles, but I have a drowner with me to compensate.

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Down. Full stop. 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My girlfriend’s. mum!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Work, a party, a Harry Potter film, a sad Sunday.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I leave them for as long as possible

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ENFJ/Pisces/Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Hah idk.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Nude - Radiohead is the one I’m thinking at the mo’ and I can’t think past that.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Future. Don’t need to lament on the past when I hope I have a good one ahead of me. Then from there I'd click 5 back so I’m right back to where I am, cheers.

[herdustisverypretty]

a tago thingo

tagged by kouhai bae @sugaless-coffee

Soft Asks 💕

What’s your favorite song(s) to sing/hum?

- well my voice and even my humming voice (??) are not suitable for most songs because a) they’re weak af, and b) they’re really high but only to a point so like. I can only do high notes, but not REALLY high notes. so I have a very limited range of what I can get away with lmao. so I like female Asian idols to sing to mostly like Kanon Wakeshima or cutesy Kpop girl group songs as they often have higher and cuter voices which suits me more, cause if I sing anything lower it does Not sound good trust me. I can also sing guys with high voices like Leo too lmao.

Favorite flower/tree/plant?

- I have a highkey obsession with roses.

Favorite Color(s)?

- PIIIIINK. blue is also good but honestly if I see something pink in public I am immediately drawn to it. if you ever need to kidnap me just lay out a collection of pink things tbh. 

What do you doodle?

- nothing because I Suck at art. my hands are too shaky for it anyway so even if I’m in the right mood for it I quit pretty quickly because it’s too difficult and thus stressful. 

How do you take your coffee/tea? Or what’s your favorite warm drink?

- hot chocolate but it has to be STRONG okay? I usually don’t accept offers of hot chocolates from my therapist cause she makes these pansy ass brown coloured hot water drinks. that is Not chocolate that is HOT BROWN WATER AND IT IS NOT PALATABLE TO ANYONE. the last time I went I told her to make me one but to tip in so much chocolate powder that it physically cannot dissolve any more. it was okay.

Favorite candle scent?

- vanilla is good but I once had this homemade candle I bought at a vintage car show market and idk it was like ‘vanilla ice cream with pomegranate’ or smth really extra but it was Nice though I somehow lost that candle in my room like 5 years ago idk where it is tbh I cannot find it anywhere it’s a mystery

Sunrise or sunset?

- sunrise. I do not like the hours from about 3pm to like midnight. they make me depressed. 

What perfume do you wear, if any?

- I have a surprising number actually, though the only ones I paid for myself were all like $10 each and that probably says a lot about me. the ones I use most are this Tokyo Paris Hilton one (yeah I know, it was $9 ok?) cause it actually smells rlly good, or one my dad bought for me when I was like 14, which is Britney Spears’ Midnight Fantasy.

Favorite quote?

- just look at my goodreads quotes list: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/list/7368139 (that should link to my personal list I think...)

Favorite self-care routine?

- turning off notifications, and not going on tumblr, fb, twitter, or looking at the comments on yt videos. also letting myself waste time instead of pressuring myself to get stuff done. telling myself “that thing will be here later.” and to get sustenance now instead of waiting till I’ve finished my task, or to go to bed and continue the task in the morning. baths are also nice but that requires a lot of work considering we do not have a cold tap for ours atm. also I can only have baths if the water is not clear (bubble bath, bath bombs, etc). 

Fuzzy socks or house slippers?

- they’re both kind of uncomfortable... socks are stuffy but they stay on better than slippers. and I need to have something on my feet otherwise I’ll pull all my skin off and then it becomes painful to walk.... 

What color are your eyes?

- uh medium-dark brown usually, but sometimes they’re completely black, and sometimes they’re this weird green colour idk man they’re pretty feral

What’s your favorite eye color on others?

- I like grey eyes

Favorite season?

- winter

Cheek, neck, or nose kisses?

- for myself: stay away from me. for my ships?? i guess?: nose

What does your happy place look like?

- idk I don’t think about a happy place, real or fake. when I need to think of happy things I usually think of my otp tbh. or Kise-kun. even though he’s unarguably kind of awful. 

Favorite breed of dogs?

- they’re all good, but I do really like huskies, chihuahuas, and feathered salukis

Do you ever want to be married? If so, what colors would you choose for your wedding theme?

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. unless I married a friend for benefits. I’d only do that if I knew they were not interested in or attracted to me. aroace friends are welcome to be my spouse. also blue. the colour has to be blue. there’s gotta be blue in there somewhere. absolutely no pink or red allowed. yellow is the colour of friendship but it’s kind of bleh. tho if my platonic-mutual-benefits spouse was into it I’d totally have some sort of gothic and/or morbid type wedding. cosplay the corpse bride. hell yeah. plus she’s blue anyway so it extra works. Amy Lee’s cover of Sally’s Song will play as I probably sit there on my phone and IM my spouse instead of actually talking to them, despite the fact that they’d probably be sitting next to me. 

Cursive or print?

- my cursive looks neater and also nicer so that

Silk or lace?

- ehm, they’re both good? depends tho I guess. scratchy lace is bad, but tulle lace is very very satisfying to both touch and look at. 

Favorite weather?

- rain, overcast, clouds, COLD

Zodiac?

- Scorpio

I never remember who I’m friends with so just feel free to do this and also tag me in it so I can see your answers

I will tag @6ubble-gum tho cause I kno you’ll do this and also that your answers will be highly entertaining 

[fightingdiamond]

KCON LA 2017 fanaccount!!

part 2: more Seventeen + the concert, ft. SF9, VIXX, and D&E :)

(disclaimer: none of the videos linked in this post are mine, credit to their respective owners!)

I was on twitter looking at (other people's) pictures from hi-touch and I realized I don't remember touching Seventeen's rings??? Lol it's a weird detail, idk. Maybe the angle of my hand wouldn't have put me in contact with their rings anyway, but I don't remember feeling the rings. Oh well 😂

Also this is super random, but I took a class spring quarter on learning and memory and this hi-touch experience has been just a perfect real-world example of how human memory is so fickle 😂😂😂 I was looking back at the videos I filmed of myself talking to my sister after the hi-touch and there’s some stuff in there (ex. I said that I remembered looking at Seokmin, Mingyu, and Seungkwan’s faces) that for the life of me I cannot recall now 😂😂😂 that’s how the brain works I guess lol

Anyway, some more things from the Seventeen session and then the concert!

-Seungkwan was asked to sing his favorite pop song and he sang an Adele song (When We Were Young I think). I was LIVING! I love that boy's voice and I'm so glad I got to hear it.

-Vernon rapped a bit and it was so hype!! Omg but before he started rapping, he and Seungkwan just kinda looked at each other for a few seconds like they were giving each other support or something?????? Idk but it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, I love verkwan ❤️❤️❤️

-BUT THEN WONWOO SANG TOO AND I LOST IT oh my god. His voice is so good, I was in heaven. What I wouldn't give for a Wonwoo solo debut 😍😍😍

-they were asked who the mom and dad of the group are and Mingyu was like (of course) Coups hyung and Jeonghan hyung!!! And Coups pulled Jeonghan in for a very cute hug but I'm laughing because I'm pretty sure Jihoon had a look of mild disgust on his face 😂😂😂 the eternal jeongcheol vs jicheol struggle, y'all 😄

-Seokmin got carried away and threw the die at the crowd like it was a concert and I think it may have almost hit a staff or something 😂 he was so flustered! He kept bowing and apologizing, it was so funny 😅

-Jeonghan was asked to do aegyo. You can imagine how that ended 😂 I cringed so hard but I also felt so much love for him in the same instant. It's a unique experience 😂

-MINGYU WAS FORCED TO DO A SEXY DANCE I'M STILL SCREAMING/CRYING/LAUGHING. He's so shy and bashful, oh my god, he's so precious 😍 I can't remember if this was before or after he rolled the die, but his face was so priceless when the members ruthlessly pushed him out to the front. He was like W H A T WHY ME????? I love Kim Mingyu, my overgrown human puppy 😍 also though I'm shook because whenever Mingyu dances, it just gives me flashbacks to when Kai from EXO was my ultimate bias 😂 they're so similar!!! But this isn't the place to talk about Kai haha. Mingyu was adorable! He was doing bodyrolls really shyly, almost resignedly lmao, and every few seconds he'd straighten up and shake his head and beg for mercy with his puppy eyes. Seungkwan stepped up partway through and put his hands on Mingyu's abs and was like HERE, YOU HAVE TO MOVE THIS PART 😂😂😂 I was like, Seungkwan, let your hyung live!!! Lmao. (Altho Seungkwan's actually 97 line because his birthday is early? Anyway.) I also noticed Wonwoo laughing his fkin ass off at Mingyu's misfortune. What a terrible boyfriend (kidding!!!) 😂 (tbh I probably ship gyuhao more now, Minghao already wrecked my bias list anyway, what's another wrecked list)

-before the game, Jihoon was asked to give advice to fans who are thinking about pursuing music/music production. It was really sweet! He basically said, "A lot of people think it's really hard to start making music, but just keep working on it, don't give up, and make lots of songs that you can show the world."

Okayyy now on to the concert! I actually bought two support banners (Seventeen and VIXX) but since I was sitting pretty far back, I'm pretty sure they didn't see me 😂 that's ok, I heard Seungkwan saw the banner that some of the floor people were holding up so at least he saw it! Also I didn't have a light stick (only a small glow stick) because I'm silly - next time, I swear!

They brought Coups, Vernon, and Joshua out as special MCs and I lost it omg. Minghao may have stolen my heart but Coups is still the captain of this frickin' ship! I love him 😌 Mingyu also came out later as an MC (replacing Coups). I was looking at him during one of his MC parts and like wooooow he is TALL. His legs are literally miles long, it's breathtaking.

I think Hansol made the biggest impression on me out of the four of them; he was so beautiful and did a really good job of making his lines sound smooth and not scripted. That boy was born for show business, I swear. (As an aside, Jisoo's English sounds super sarcastic to me????? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 idk maybe I'm just not used to him speaking English unless it's some meme-worthy occasion. Or it's his valley accent?? No idea haha, but he drawls his words a lot and it's really amusing to listen to.) Hansol also frequently went off script to say sweet things (and correct the script's lackluster choice of words on at least one occasion, lmao). Like, there was a part where they wanted to get the audience to kinda do a random play dance, and the script was like "let's stretch first, stretch your arms and legs" and Vernon added "you can't get injured and stuff!!" He was so sweet 😍

Speaking of the script, during SF9's talking portion (they opened the show), I was looking for the teleprompters but didn't see them until later. At first I was like "wow, their English is really good!" but then I was like, wait, is there a teleprompter? Lol. As the show went on I suspected there was a script, because there were subtitles on the big screen at the same time as (sometimes even before) idols were talking and I was like, ok, translation technology ain't THAT good. The point I'm tryna make in the end is that a) that's how I know Hansol was going off script and b) Seventeen - who closed the concert btw, what gods - barely had a script. It was just really free-flowing and genuine and they were interacting with the audience and it was amazing. You could tell they loved being with all the fans and they really commanded the stage and made it super fun. Seventeen are literal gods, when will your faves. (No hard feelings please!! Lmao it's all in good fun!)

Anyway back to the show lol. I love SF9 and they deserve the world omg. They're SUCH good performers; their choreo is amazing and their songs are great!! Their energy on the stage is incredible, even when they were just talking, and everyone should Iove them 😍 they performed Fanfare, Jungle Game(?), and Easy Love. Their English is seriously really good, even considering the teleprompter! It didn't sound like they were just reading off a script at all; idk the word for it in English but the way their sentences flowed was very authentic and I know they must have tried really hard to practice their lines for their American fans. Everyone please stan SF9 😍

I'm really sorry but I'm gonna gloss over Cosmic Girls and Girl's Day - I'm not into either of them but of course they did really well! Girl's Day really owned the stage with I'll Be Yours, Something, and Ring Ma Bell. Some of the girls in Cosmic Girls seemed a bit tired, so props to them for still pulling off a great performance with Happy, I Wish(?), and Secret!

Now, Cosmic Girls' cover of BTS' I Need U is the kinda content I'm here for!!! I don't like Cosmic Girls' usual cutesy concept because it attracts some really creepy fanboys and I feel that it doesn't show off their real talent, so it was really refreshing to see them killing a guy group dance. I think Cheng Xiao did a flip! I'm assuming it was her 😅

SF9 covered Sorry Sorry after them and then it transitioned seamlessly into Super Junior D&E - great planning, y'all 😏 the atmosphere in the audience was so hype!! They were flashing Super Junior's stats on the big screen and it was so easy to forget that I'm not even into Super Junior anymore 😂 I'm still disappointed with the members who have been unapologetically and/or repeatedly problematic (and smh @ Eunhyuk's dreads at the concert, but ya can't spell smh without SM I guess), but I can't help but feel proud of Super Junior for being responsible for kpop's initial surge of international popularity 😊

Fun fact, I went to SMTOWN NYC 2011 and saw Super Junior there. It's really amazing that Donghae and Eunhyuk are still so active in the industry, five and a half years later! Both of them, but especially Donghae, came onto the stage like they owned the goddamn place. I'm blown away by how handsome Donghae still is! He's aged a bit since I last saw him, for sure, but it's a great look on him. He's so handsome, oh my god. The two of them did Growing Pains, I Wanna Dance (Korean version, which I didn't know existed), another song from their album I think, and the classic Oppa Oppa. It was lit 🔥 they were so sweet too, they kept apologizing for "taking so long to see you again" and thanking the fans for waiting 😭 I'm not crying, you're crying!

VIXX was so powerful! I'm glad they didn't perform Dynamite LOL no offense but that's my least favorite of their title songs 😂 they did Shangri-La, Black Out, and Fantasy! Jaehwan was so loud holy heck lol. He's basically Seokmin in five years, I swear. (Speaking of which, I can totally see D&E being soonseok in ten years 😍) I got so excited when Hyuk sang too! I still remember when he was an awkward smol 😌 but Hakyeon will always have my heart ❤️ there was a part in Shangri-La where he was supposed to be serious but couldn't hold back a smile, so he covered his face with his fan 😂 it was the cutest freaking thing 😍

They did a "piñata" game where a random mission popped up on the screen (the choices were aegyo, photo time, sexy dance, random play, and proposal). They saw the proposal choice and started joking about it - I laughed so hard when Hyuk threw himself on his knees and was like N, MARRY ME! And Hakyeon was like SURE! 😂 his English was so freaking sexy 😂

oKaY and now for the moment we've all been waiting for......say the name (SEVENTEEN)! 😍

They made their first appearance with unit performances and I was like OH MY GOD MINGHAO WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT!!!! In the video that they did for KCON previously, they were ~speculating~ about what special performances they would do, and Minghao was all like, well, we do have three units 😏 so proud of my boy for tellin' it like it is!!!

Performance unit came on with Swimming Fool and I screamed so loudly omg. I've been waiting to see this choreo since forever!! And as a newly reborn Minghao bias I was living for every second he appeared on the big screen 😍😍😍😍 I was a little sad though because Hoshi's been showing off this choreo at fansigns for MONTHS and I just know he's been so eager to perform it, but he couldn't make it 😭 It was also compounded during the parts where the other three blatantly left Soonyoung's spot empty. Like, ok, there's a hole in the choreo, I guess there's a hole in my heart too now. This is fine.

But before we go down the rabbit hole of "I miss Soonyoung so much I'm gonna cry" VOCAL UNIT KILLED ME. Habit is literally my favorite vocal unit song, second only to We Gonna Make It Shine but Jesus, there's no way I'm ever gonna hear that live unless I make it to a Seventeen concert (GOD, I hope they still perform that song in later tours). Joshua and Jihoon and Jeonghan all sounded so angelic and pure and then I literally burst into tears when the chorus hit - that's a huge compliment coming from me, I never cry. Seungkwan my baby boo 😍 and then Seokmin too, omg. I love vocal unit 😍

Then vocal unit left and I was like oh no. OH NO. HIP HOP UNIT. I was actually expecting If I but then it was Check In and I was shook! They showed up in the middle of the audience too and I think I literally would've died if I had been near them. I love hip hop unit 😍 also - and I say this like I'm surprised, and I honestly kind of am, and I really shouldn't be but - Wonwoo is so. hot. Holy shit man, like I always thought Mingyu was the (slightly) better-looking out of the two of them but holy shit, Wonwoo's stage presence is unbelievable. I was halfway across the stadium and I could feel his charisma. Believe me, I don't throw around the word "hot" lightly. Wonwoo had me seriously shook. He's so hot. I can't believe middle school Wonwoo blossomed into this gorgeous, brilliant performer. True art right there. He was also really smiley when he wasn't busy being hot and I was living for it omg. I love Wonwoo's smile so much and I hadn't seen enough of it lately 😍😍

As the concert went on I was confused as to whether Seventeen was gonna come back and perform as a whole group or not because everyone else had been doing 3-4 songs and I was like "was that Seventeen's three songs??? Nooooo" but then it turns out they were closing the concert!!!!!!! Seventeen are gods I tell you, literal gods 🙌🏽

Oh my god, the fanchants were so loud and I've never been prouder to be part of a fandom. As we were waiting for Seventeen to come on, they were playing this heartbeat sound over and over and in the silence between heartbeats people started chanting SEVENTEEN! SEVENTEEN! I got chills 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I hope our boys heard us!!!!! (Click here to see it!!!!!!!)

As an aside, somewhere around the unit performances I noticed that a lot of the idols weren't singing live. The rappers had the big handheld mics which are supposedly better for actual live sound, whereas most of the other idols had the small mics taped to their cheeks. I mean, clearly I'm pointing this out because I, as a singer, appreciate it when people sing live, but I understand that this is a concert and the focus is more on the performance overall (i.e. the dancing and energy). I still really enjoyed everyone's performances of course!

HOWEVER! Seventeen was an exception, as usual! Not only did they freakin' kill their whole set and get the audience really hyped, almost all of them had the handheld mics and even those who didn't, I'm pretty sure they also sang live (lookin' at you, Chan and Hansol. I love it when my babies sing 😍). Also, shoutout to performance unit for singing live AND dancing like woooow, step aside vocal unit! 😅 I've said this so many times already but I'll say it again: Seventeen are LITERAL gods. I couldn't be prouder of my boys ❤️

Lol I also remember that everyone was speculating about what songs they were gonna do and there were so many names being thrown out, but between the special unit performances and the group set, I think Seventeen managed to surprise us all! As expected of our boys 😍 They came on with Don't Wanna Cry first, of course, including the cool extended intro that I love! Seokmin got Soonyoung's line and I screamed omg. I miss Soonyoung 😭

After Don't Wanna Cry the lights dimmed but I could see them getting into their next formation. When I recognized the pinwheel formation I LOST IT oh my god. ROCK!!!!!!!!!! Rock is one of my favorite songs and I'm so glad I got to see it live. I bet you they chose to do Rock because of the 360 stage. Seventeen back at it again with how considerate they always are to their fans ❤️ I wanna say Chan got Hoshi's lines? I'm not entirely sure but of course, the performance was amazing! I felt a twinge in my heart at the hole in the choreo where Soonyoung should've been but that's ok 😭

(I feel that it should be noted at this point that Soonyoung is N O W H E R E near the top of my bias list?????? lolololol I love and miss him so much though 😅)

Hearing all of them speak English during their talking portion was so nice. Everyone's English is so good! Mingyu especially had me shook because his English always goes from 0-100 REAL FAST. Seungkwan was so excited!!!!! I love seeing Seungkwan on stage, he's totally in his element there and he's a master at hyping the audience. Also Seokmin was loud af lmao whaddya expect 😂

Speaking of being considerate, Seventeen actually surprised me by greeting both sides of the audience! They did their "say the name! Seventeen!" greeting to my half of the audience first (the diamond/platinum/P1 side), but then they freaking TURNED AROUND and repeated their greeting to the other half of the audience! It doesn't sound like a big deal but no one else even did that! They're so sweet, I love my boys ❤️❤️❤️

They also did the piñata game and got random play, so they were just jamming out to the songs that came on. It was really cute! Mingyu and Minghao were in the corner farthest from me just off in their own little world 😍 I love gyuhao, they're so sweet with each other 😍 Mansae came on in the random play too and it was so amazing watching everyone do the dance with them!!! (Click here to see it!!!!)

Ah also I just remembered! At the very beginning they had all the groups come on stage to wave at the fans and stuff. Seventeen came on and were waving at the fans and then they were supposed to walk to the other side but I guess performance unit missed the memo??? LOL it was so cute! Vocal and hip hop units were starting to walk to the other side and performance unit was looking around all confused before Minghao grabbed Chan and dragged him along as they followed the rest of the group. Later it looked like Minghao was saying something to Jun too, almost like he was nagging him, I was living 😍 I love performance unit! Also during that part Jihoon and Seungcheol were standing next to each other and I for sure saw #interaction 😏 I need more jicheol appreciation in my life ok?

Speaking of my boys getting lost, Vernon, Josh, and Coups did the same thing 😂 after their first MC portion finished the lights went down but I could see them still standing there like uh......where do we go......they were so desperately trying to play it cool 😂😂😂 and then Vernon, I think(?), started walking to one side, before they all realized they were supposed to be going to the opposite side and scurried off 😂 such cuties!

Before their talking portion ended the staff gave them those like, air cannon things stuffed with shirts so they could shoot them at the audience. Mingyu couldn't figure out how to work the thing at first, I cackled so hard (but also me too, Mingyunie, me too). Minghao also had one and he looked way too attractive with it, it was unfair 😳 Afterward when all the shirts were gone and the members reconvened, Seungkwan shouted really urgently "no one got hurt, right???" in Korean and Hansol repeated it in English 😍 I was so touched! It was obviously something that Seungkwan really really felt the need to ask, it sounded like it just burst out of him before he could contain it. He'd been speaking a lot of English up until that point and it was so sweet that he couldn't let himself wait to try to think of the words in English ❤️

As their talking wrapped up they were joking around about their next song, someone (maybe Seokmin? I don't remember) suggested Boom Boom but Vernon was like nahhhh. And Mingyu suggested Adore U and the fans did the point dance along with him! And then Seungkwan, I think(?), was like, "ah, we can't reveal it, but you know, our fans are VERY NICE" and I died 😂😂😂 Jisoo was all fondly exasperated and said, ok, you guys know what our next song is, don't you? 😂😂😂

Seungkwan was hyping the audience like he always does and shouted, "are you ready?!?!?" and the audience screamed! But then Minghao stepped up with this tiny smirk and was like, "one more time, are you ready?!?" I felt so blessed to hear him being so playful in English.

I had a split second of mourning over the fact that I wasn't gonna see Pretty U live but oh my god, Aju Nice was THE BEST choice for closing out the concert. I kind of wanted to cry at how much I loved seeing them perform the song but I was also so excited to see it!!! The Chinaline part had me swooning, I love how Minghao always smirks and gestures to Jun like he's reeling in his catch and I'm like yassss boi get it!!!! I'm so blessed I got to see that interaction with my own eyes. Woozi's part was so pure, I felt cleansed hearing him sing 😌 but I saw both Wonwoo and Seungcheol coming up behind him for their rap part and I was SO HYPED because I always watch the Aju Nice lives from when they were promoting it and Wonwoo wasn't there! I'm sad that Soonyoung wasn't there this time but at least Wonwoo was! 

Oh my god, and the part where Seungcheol switches his mic to his other hand just so he can hold Jihoon's hand during the double-line part at the end??? I saw it with my own eyes 😍

The camera focused on Jun for like a full five seconds at the end and I was like DAMN RIGHT! I hope Jun watches this video later and is satisfied with himself  😌

Afterward they brought out all the groups again to wave bye to the fans 😭 Jihoon showed up on the big screen and he was practically glowing, he was smiling and happy and radiant 😍 remember how I said he looked tired at the hi-touch? I hope he got some energy from performing and that the concert and seeing his fans made this hectic trip worth it!!! Lol I also saw them running around with a camera and I was like, this is going into Going Seventeen a few episodes from now, right? 😂

So yeah, the concert had me hella shook!!! I was so hyped that I totally even forgot that Seventeen hadn't done ANY of the songs I was hoping for LOLOLOL I really wanted them to do Pretty U, Shining Diamond, and Love Letter! But it's ok, they were great anyway 😍 I also feel like I remember some butt-touching happening???? I wanna say it was Mingyu but I don’t remember???? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I also forgot my earplugs lol I was afraid I was gonna go deaf halfway through but I'm fine now 😂 one of the people I went to LA with decided right after the concert that he was gonna find a ticket to Sunday's concert too because it was just so lit! I wish I could've, I really wanted to see Astro live, but I had work on Monday and I couldn't stay 😭

There will be a part 3 about seeing Astro!!! Please anticipate!

[theboywiththepinkfloralpurse]

134 questions

1: Name - Joel 2: Age - 18 (19 in June) 3: 3 Fears - being alone, not making anything of myself, and bugs lol 4: 3 things I love - My Sweet and Wonderful Boyfriend, music and making music, chocolate 5: 4 turns on - the back of my neck, it's really sensitive… when the other person takes control… that's all you get for now ;) 6: 4 turns off - biting, roughness lol, uncomfortable positions, boobs (lol) 7: My best friend - Sterling 8: Sexual orientation - Gay (duh XD) 9: My best first date - pizza place with my current boyfriend 10: How tall am I - 5’6” 11: What do I miss - my boyfriend. And music camp tbh 12: What time was I born - not sure… the afternoon maybe? 13: Favorite color - Teal 14: Do I have a crush - very much so 15: Favorite quote - not my favorite but I love it cuz it's hilarious “...the people that put the chemicals in the water that turned the friggin frogs gay!” - Alex Jones 16: Favorite place - Sterling's house (and now anywhere with my boyfriend :) 17: Favorite food - Mac n’ cheese. Also chicken 18: Do I use sarcasm - nooooooo I neeeeever eeeeeeever use sarcasm (lol) 19: What am I listening to right now - my Mom has some cringey Christian radio station on... 20: First thing I notice in a new person - kindness 21: Shoe size - 10 (12 women's XD) 22: Eye color - blue 23: Hair color - dirty blonde 24: Favorite style of clothing - sweaters with or without buttons, clothes with buttons in general. Fall clothes 25: Ever done a prank call? - once… it was so cringey but he actually fell for it

27: Meaning behind my URL - theboywiththepinkfloralpurse was my first blog where I really needed someplace to make venting emotional posts and I'd just gotten a tacky pink purse with flowers lol. a-random-gay-bunny is pretty self explanatory lol 28: Favorite movie - ahhhhhh I'm so bad at picking favorites for most things…. I do really like V for Vendetta tho. Seen it many times, and the entire X-Men series. 29: Favorite song - too many to pick… 30: Favorite band - except this… I can say for sure it's Pentatonix. I've seen them in concert twice, I love them so much 31: How I feel right now - happy, but I wanna hold my boyfriend and kiss him 32: Someone I love - My boyfriend John 33: My current relationship status - very taken <3 34: My relationship with my parents - much better than a couple years ago, still a little rocky but pretty good 35: Favorite holiday - probably Christmas 36: Tattoos and piercing I have - none 37: Tattoos and piercing I want - I'm not sure, but I would like a tattoo or a few one day 38: The reason I joined Tumblr - to vent my feelings to the void lol 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - don't have one 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - everyday :) <3 41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? - this question is weird lol, but John's the last person I texted and the only person I've kissed :) 42: When did I last hold hands? - yesterday 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - depends, I can get ready really quickly if need be though 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - nope. Last I shaved was a week ago I think 45: Where am I right now? - at home on my couch 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - either Sterling, John or both, but I don't plan on getting drunk ever. I guess it could happen but probably won't be drinking in the future 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - both, usually slightly loud though 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yeah… hopefully not for too much longer 49: Am I excited for anything? - seeing my boyfriend on Saturday, and going to camp in 52 days, and hopefully passing my driver's test in 107 days. 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - sort of? I feel like I can tell Tabby everything 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - not too often, only in situations where I feel uncomfortable but feel I need to smile. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - couple of hours ago 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - I'd be vereh sad and I'd want to know why. But he wouldn't do that :) 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - I'm a really trusting person so probably 55: What is something I disliked about today? - I couldn't see my boyfriend and kiss his cute face 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - uhhh… I dunno… maybe Tyler Oakley cuz I bet that would be really fun 57: What do I think about most? - heehee, my boyfriend. And also getting a job and figuring out plans for things, always running through plans in my head. 58: What’s my strangest talent? - I'm not sure, but the fact I can sing so low and so high is a pretty strange talent I guess 59: Do I have any strange phobias? - I'm very afraid of getting water in my eyes 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - behind it 61: What was the last lie I told? - I told my Mom I understood when she told me that my having a boyfriend is very difficult and awkward for her. I really don't understand 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - definitely on the phone, but before my boyfriend I would've said neither 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I'd like to believe in aliens, but I dunno. As for ghosts I don't believe in them at all really. 64: Do I believe in magic? - kind of? I think people can and have been able to connect with demons and been controlled by them. I don't think it really happens today much anymore. I think it might tho? 65: Do I believe in luck? - not really, sort of in a cutesy way tho 66: What's the weather like right now? - slightly cloudy, but the sun has mostly set anyway 67: What was the last book I've read? - all the way through? Animal Farm. The last book I opened and read from was a book Sterling gave me. 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Oh god no, do some people like that smell? 69: Do I have any nicknames? Dork, pianoman (from this strange sports camp where everyone had a nickname) 70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - had a car hood slam on a couple fingers, they didn't break tho surprisingly. Never had a broken bone 71: Do I spend money or save it? - spend… I shouldn't, I need to make money so I can start saving 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - just barely the bottom of my nose 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes, my old pink purse and probably some other stuff 74: Favorite animal? - besides cats and bunnies, red pandas 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - talking to bae 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - I don't think he has one? Strange question lol 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - you'll be in my heart by Phil Collins 78: How can you win my heart? - genuinely caring about me :) 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - Here lies the gayest gay to ever gay 80: What is my favorite word? - maybe bitch lol 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - a bunch of furry blogs lol 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - …..hi?... anybody wanna give me free money and help me see my boyfriend more?.... 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no. Unless I have distant relatives in jail 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - teleportation 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - not many, but one is “have you cheated on school assignments” 86: What is my current desktop picture? - my cat Loki 87: Had sex? - nope 88: Bought condoms? - nope 89: Gotten pregnant? - NOPE XD 90: Failed a class? - no 91: Kissed a boy? - yee 92: Kissed a girl? - nononono 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - not yet ;) 94: Had job? - not yet :( 95: Left the house without my wallet? - plenty of times lol 96: Bullied someone on the internet? - maybe? When I was like 13/14 I might've, but not really, I made cringey YouTube comments. 97: Had sex in public? - nope lol 98: Played on a sports team? - nope 99: Smoked weed? - nope 100: Did drugs? - nope 101: Smoked cigarettes? - nope 102: Drank alcohol? - nope 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope 104: Been overweight? - nope 105: Been underweight? - ...yeah 106: Been to a wedding? - many… many 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - HA plenty of times XD 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - probably 109: Been outside my home country? - no 110: Gotten my heart broken? - yeah 111: Been to a professional sports game? - actually yeah… it was boring 112: Broken a bone? - nope 113: Cut myself? - no, I considered once but immediately decided against it because I know someone close to me who did 114: Been to prom? - nope 115: Been in airplane? - a few times 116: Fly by helicopter? - nope 117: What concerts have I been to? - Oh lots, a bunch of em were when I had a scholarship that allowed me to see concerts for free 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - plenty lol, better question would be had a crush on the opposite sex. Which the answer would be… once 119: Learned another language? - sorta? Not fluently no lol 120: Wore make up? - nope, I don't like stuff on my face like face paints and makeup and stuff 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - nope 122: Had oral sex? - nope 123: Dyed my hair? - no, but I want to someday. Like a fun color 124: Voted in a presidential election? - yeah 125: Rode in an ambulance? - nope 126: Had a surgery? - nope 127: Met someone famous? - kinda! 128: Stalked someone on a social network? - a few times... 129: Peed outside? - yeah, hasn't everybody at least once? Right? 130: Been fishing? - once… super boring 131: Helped with charity? - not yet, can't afford to yet lol 132: Been rejected by a crush? - once 133: Broken a mirror? - don't think so 134: What do I want for birthday? - always a difficult question. But definitely want to see my boyfriend :)

[evenstevensranked]

#42: Season 1, Episode 20 - “Almost Perfect”

Ren gets a "C" in shop class which means it's the end of the world. Louis' locker is festering with steam and bacteria, so Wexler lets him use a storage closet until it’s fixed. Naturally, Louis makes the best of it and renovates the space into a south-of-the-border themed hang out.

This episode opens with the subplot. We see steam blasting out of Louis’ locker accompanied by “Halloween”-esque tinkering piano. I don’t know why I never noticed the opening line before, but Twitty asks “Dude, are you grilling turkey dogs in your locker again?” Why am I laughing at this?! Louis explains that his locker has had a hot water leak all week. It’s causing moss to grow on his egg salad sandwich and mushrooms to “not only grow, but THRIVE” on his math book. He tries to ask Principal Wexler for help, but.. ya know.. Louis isn’t exactly the most reputable student. So Wexler pretty much ignores his pleas. Probably because he was too busy running off to a meeting with Vice Principal REN STEVENS! 

He finds Ren and approaches her all excited like “Guess whaaaat?!” Ren guesses that he finally bought some red car he’s always wanted. I like this because it foreshadows Dirty Work where Wexler DOES get his snazzy red convertible. The big news is that she’s a shoo-in for Student of the Semester. This whole scene is slightly uncomfortable, like most of their scenes together. Their relationship is so weird. He even calls her “the daughter I never had.” Okay. He suggests that she should write some glowing article about herself in the school paper. Why would anyone ever suggest that? How arrogant would that be? Either way, Ren ends up agreeing to said article but instead of writing it herself.. she assigns two little minions to do it.  

No, really. Am I the only one weirded out by this? lol. 

We meet Carla (Lisa Folies, All That!) and Marla (Krysten Leigh Jones, Remember the Titans) for the first time. They're two young girls who are obsessed with Ren and her ~perfection~. We only see them one other time in Season 2. They’re very eager to impress Ren and dress exactly like her and everything. I never understood how people dress the same as others on TV shows like this. How does that work? Did they break in and photograph all of Ren’s clothes one day and then go out to buy everything??? Do they have cameras in Ren’s room that live stream her outfit choices every morning? And then proceed to reach into their Ren Closet and wear the same exact thing? Like... How else is this even possible at all? 

They’re fawning over Ren and asking her what it’s like to be perfect. Ren insists she’s not perfect, but when she’s asked to list some of her imperfections… She acts all cutesy arrogant like “what do’ya know! I guess I don’t have any! *shrug*” It’s a little off-putting.

Louis’ locker water leak has gotten so bad he needs to wear a wetsuit and goggles to school now, lol. There’s seaweed or something growing in there and it’s also the home of an evil life form that somehow materialized. He tells Wexler “I swear to Pete, there’s something growing in there and I don’t think it likes me at all!” Who are these men everyone in the Even Stevens-verse swear to?! Twitty swears to Bob, Louis swears to Pete. Once Wexler sees the extent of the damage, he lets Louis use an old storage closet for the time being. I never got that. Sure, Louis keeps a whole lotta junk in his locker -- but what normal person needs a giant closet for a few books and a jacket? Anyway, Wexler says “make yourself at home” so you know Louis is gonna run with it. Like, I’ve said before... If you give Louis an inch, he WILL take 20 miles. 

“I can make this work” he whispers to himself as he observes the closet space, lol. I just realized there’s an actual physical lightbulb next to him, signifying the idea. Wow. 

Even though she’s the number one contender for Student of the Semester, Ren really wants to ensure that she gets the title… again. Apparently you get a $25 Honey Ham gift card and it’s really satisfying. Why she gotta be so greedy, tho??? According to Wexler she's already been Student of the Semester for the last two semesters, she’s Student Policy Monitor, lord knows what else, AND don’t forget that she's practically Vice Principal as well. Geeez, Ren! Let some of the other kids have their time to shine. But, regardless.. her plans are halted when she gets a C in shop class, jeopardizing her chances. As you can probably guess, this means it’s the end of the world. Well, what did she expect?! Everyone else constructed things like violins and grandfather clocks. But Ren Stevens thinks she can pass with flying colors by making a pizza paddle. In comparison to everyone else’s projects, hers is honestly worth a D- lol. Sorry, Ren!

LOOK AT HER COMPETITION! She seriously submitted a pizza paddle -- a literal slab of wood -- and expected an A. 

Louis decides to turn the closet space into a Mexico-style club. I mean, what else do you expect from Louis Stevens? He has an entire construction team come in to do the job and forges Principal Wexler's signature to pay for it. I feel like this is an episode that has glimmers of the more outlandish, unrealistic plots we see sprinkled throughout Season 2 and super frequently in Season 3. But, the odd thing about this case.. is that it doesn’t seem THAT outlandish to me. I can actually see Louis pulling this off, lol. I’m pretty sure Shia is ad-libbing all of Louis’ commands to the construction workers. (i.e. “Come on, guys! We should have the ceiling fans by now!”)

Something that made me laugh: Ren aimlessly walks around clutching her pizza paddle repeating “C” to herself in disbelief. She walks by Louis and the renovation crew so he asks her “We’re thinking of going with this Burnt Tortilla paint for our walls… What do you think?” and all she can say is “C” …but, Louis takes it as “Si” and I can’t deal with it.

A conversation between Ren and Wexler is accidentally broadcast through the intercom… letting the entire school know that “Ren Stevens got her first C.” Everyone listens in utter shock and some people even rush to the principal’s office just to stare at Ren with disappointment. Everyone held her to a ridiculously high standard and now they’re all depressed and let down because -- SHOCKER! -- she’s not perfect. How dare she!

Because of this, Carla and Marla completely let themselves go and dress like ragamuffins the next day. I feel like there’s a lesson here: Do not put all of your faith in a mere human being, you guys. This is all too extreme. It’s a C. They’re acting like she committed some morally wrong, unforgivable crime. Hardly. However, in Ren’s world, a C is an unforgivable crime. So, technicallyyy she did this to herself. Oops. She eventually decides to “fight back” for a chance to re-do her project, and suddenly Carla and Marla love her again.

Louis unveils the newly renovated locker/closet to Twitty. I love this scene. Twitty walks in and says “Dude, I’m in Mexico!” and Louis is like “Nooo, my friend. *turns on Mariachi music* NOWWWW YOU'RE IN MEXICO!!!"

He proceeds to show Twitty around the small space saying things like "See that? That's not a guitar, it's a bass and I got it shipped in from Meh-hee-co" with the accent. The line that kills me though is "See that matador painting? The guy at the gas station told me it's on real velvet." - Incredible. This line is actually a very obvious overdub. It cuts away to a shot of the painting and Shia clearly recorded this line as a voiceover after the fact. The quality and volume of the audio is totally different from the rest of the scene. Just something I always noticed. Wexler obviously finds out about this when he receives the work order and pays Discoteca Louis a little visit. 

“You said make myself at home, so I did. Tropical smoothie?”

Wexler tells him “Stevens. I want you, your smoothie, and your tacky velvet matador painting out of here in 24 hours!” and leaves. Feeling like this is an injustice, Louis decides to throw a muy grande farewell fiesta before the place is torn down. We get one of my favorite lines here: 

Twitty: I kinda like the matador painting.

Louis: Yeah. “Tacky”?! HE PAID 12 BUCKS FOR THAT!

Ren goes to speak to her shop teacher after school and we see that his license plate reads “WOOD LVR.” He also tells her “Ren, maybe you haven’t noticed but.. I LOOOOVE WOOD! Wood is ma’lady.” Why do I feel like this is another innuendo? All I can think of is Beyoncé. SERFBORT. Her teacher ultimately gives her a second chance at the project. Of course. All she has to do is make a perfect footstool and she’ll get an A.    

There’s a line half way around the world to get into Louis’ party. He has bouncers, velvet rope, and Twitty is keeping track of a guest list. This is so hilarious it’s ridiculous. To highlight how ~exclusive~ the party is, Twitty won’t even let Carly Blaine, his own cousin, in because her name isn’t on the list. Louis eventually turns it into a free for all and allows everyone to go in. How they all fit, I have no idea.

After completing and submitting her footstool for grading, Ren is anxiously awaiting the outcome in the hallway. Here is where we finally get a fantastic character moment from Louis:

Louis: “You ever wanna be normal? You're always trying to be perfect at everything.“

Ren: “What's wrong with being perfect?"

Louis: “It's not normal.”

YOOOOOOO! How fire is that line, though?! The matter-of-fact, simple way he was able to get through to Ren reminds me of something Shia said irl at his #TouchMySoul art instillation. I love caring, smart Louis! Yes.

Ren ends up getting a B- on her footstool. She’s not too happy, but she accepts it. Sheesh! If I got a B- in junior high, it would be up on the refrigerator door! Dang. She says she’s done with being perfect and goes to have some fun at Louis’ shindig.  

There’s a Ricky Martin - “Livin’ La Vida Loca” knockoff song playing at the party, presumably called "Casa de Fiesta.” IT GETS STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL THE TIME BUT I LOVE IT. We get a montage of Louis partying it up set to this song, which is truly a vision. Although, I can’t help but feel like Tumblr would crucify him for the cultural appropriation. Or would this count as "appreciation"? He has an authentic Mariachi band and everything. It just hit me -- Where the heck is Tawny?! Surely she’d have something to say. 

Louis is shocked when he sees Ren there. This is another one of my favorite moments:

Louis introduces Ren to the band and I swear this is Shia ad-libbing again. (i.e “This is Arnesto! And Manuuuuel!”)

…and that’s pretty much it.  

This is a good episode. It really is. But, much like Dirty Work.. This popular and memorable Louis storyline is only a subplot. Also, nothing serious happens with Louis as a character here until the last few minutes. Like I said, I adore his mini speech to Ren. GAHH!! When Louis is good, he is REALLY good. He just busts out some profound crap outta nowhere sometimes. Gotta love that. As usual, this Ren main plot just isn’t as strong. It's so unfortunate. But seeing Louis’ words get to her is touching, and it’s great to see her let go at the end.

Thanks for reading as always! Getting back into the swing of things after my trip to New York last weekend. :)

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[gwynvsthegames-blog]

Cave Story - A Look Back

First off, welcome to my first major post on here! I hope you enjoy yourself! Feel free to reply, share your experiences with this lovely game!

To begin, we need to go back a bit. Back to 2004. 14 year old Gwyn is searching the internet for cool games, and has found a game with enticing graphics, incredibly high user ratings, and no one seems to be able to say anything bad about this game... A few hours later, young Gwyn is utterly transfixed by this wonderfully designed game. Unable to put the game down, they make it to an area called "Outer Wall". A hauntingly beautiful and calming song is playing, clouds are racing past in the background, a green-haired man is standing next to a dragon hatchling. The soft blue tones, lit by the moon and stars... It was a moment that immediately struck me, and stuck with me to this day. Honestly, it feels like years of me playing indie games wouldn't have happened without the memories I shared just now. That game's name is Cave Story.

If you've been playing indie games, or if you're even tangentially aware of indie games, you've likely heard of Cave Story. The title originally debuted in December of 2004, as a very niche freeware download. I remember stumbling upon the game on an old freeware gaming site, back before "proper" distribution services like Itch.io or Steam existed. The game was quirky, cute, challenging, and the music immediately wormed its way into my head nigh-permanently.

"Well Gwyn, what's so good about the game, exactly?" How kind of you to serendipitously ask me a question like that to use as a segue! Cave Story is a perfect example of a very simple set of mechanics, jumping and shooting, done in superlative form. It's often likened to Mega Man or Metroid when using a shorthand description of the game, and those are definitely apt. If you took the tight controls and satisfying sounds and effects of Mega Man, then mashed those into the exploratory and mostly freeform gameplay of Metroid, you'd have something very close to Cave Story. Personally, the best thing about the game is the overall feel. The gradual acceleration and deceleration of the main character, and the floatiness of the jumps lends to a bit of a learning curve upon starting the game. However, once you've mastered maneuvering, you'll find yourself slipping in between enemy shot patterns, and laying on the suppressing fire effortlessly. As you're blowing the cutesy enemies away, they burst like piñatas into prizes! Extra health and ammo for your missile launcher, or most importantly, experience triangles! (Affectionately called “EXP Doritos” personally.)

Speaking of experience, Cave Story has a very interesting mechanic revolving around levelling up your guns (with a max level of 3) as you acquire them! Cool! If you get hit, though, your gun will lose experience and even level down, losing power! Oh no! This set of mechanics adds a sense of depth that incentivizes not getting hit, aside from the obvious incentive of not dying.

So the game feels good to play, but tactile feel isn't the only important aspect in the overall presentation! The graphics and sound are also incredibly noteworthy, with one side feeding wonderfully into the other. Firing your weapons, hearing the punchy sounds, seeing the cartoonishly large bullets, and the abundance of particle effects surrounding the explosions... It's a wholly satisfying facet of the game that only serves to raise up the already-impressive package of the game!

Music is a massive driving force for making memories. Good and bad, memories can be painted more vividly with sound. From the iconic first few notes from Super Mario Bros' Overworld Theme, to Sonic's Green Hill Zone... All games that have stuck themselves steadfast in my mind have all had strikingly catchy and well-composed soundtracks that I will generally be found humming when I'm out and about. Cave Story is no exception to this. The music is upbeat and eclectic, with a broad range of emotions to invoke for any given moment. One of the (presumed) antagonists, Balrog, has a dopey theme befitting of his less-than-competent nature. The poor guy (toaster?) tries his best, though. I will say "Mischievous Robot", the theme for the Egg Corridor level, is probably one of my favorite level themes in the game. It's a high tempo, energizing song, and I always find myself trying to run and shoot a little faster because of that song... Which doesn't always end well for me, hah!

Really, I can sit and describe the music all day long, but here's a few recommendations from me when it comes to the Cave Story soundtrack.

Moonsong, Mischievous Robot, Last Cave, Running Hell, and Plantation. Those five are easily my favorites! Enjoy them on YouTube, or the whole original soundtrack for free from - and a huge shoutout to - cavestory.org

... Look, honestly, this whole thing is a really indulgent project for me. I'm going to gush a little bit here. This whole article gives me a chance to really talk about one of my favorite games of all time, and that's really important for me! Every time someone asks about indie games to look into, I'll always say Cave Story. Every time. I've bought it on every platform it's been released on, and hell, I had a PSP that I admittedly flashed to put homebrew applications on it specifically because someone ported Cave Story to it. That's just how much I love this game. To go even further, I've gone as far as to even study the nuts and bolts of the game and quite a while ago, I made a really extensive mod for the game. I added ammo counters to every weapon in the game, which previously only applied to the Bubbline and Machine Gun weapons. I replaced the Polar Star, the first weapon you acquire, with a custom Submachine Gun, with custom gun sprites and bullet sprites... It was pretty hardcore, to be honest! I went really far with this game!

I'll wrap this up by simply saying, please do yourself a favor of playing this wonderful labor of love by one guy. Daisuke Amaya, also known as Pixel. I doubt he'd ever get to read this, but seriously, Pixel, thank you for Cave Story. Everything from the gameplay, to the music, to the inner workings of the game is immaculate and it's a game I will never forget as long as I live. It's something so innately important to me. Genuinely, I love the characters, the setting, every single facet of the game is the standard that I will hold myself to when I finally start making something. I'm competitive as hell, and being able to surpass one of my game design idols would be a crowning moment for me.

As for where you can pick this lovely game up?

Cave Story is freeware, its re-releases aren’t. The original english fan-translated version is available from cavestory.org, but if you want to support Nicalis, and Pixel, buy the 3DS, or Steam versions! They come with added levels, challenge modes, etc! It’s great!

Anyway, thank you dearly for reading and (hopefully) enjoying the first of many articles from me! More are coming quickly down the pipeline!

[psychiccard2254-blog]

The 3 Greatest Psychics Ever

We all want relationship advice on occasion even massive strong men. Perhaps, you see your crush and your mind goes clean. Or, perhaps you blush, cannot converse or start talking an excessive amount of. Experiencing these kinds of responses to somebody you want is frequent — it is a results of the feel-good hormones your body produces once you're attracted to somebody. Whilst an adult, he continues to adore me. I nearly appear extra particular to him than my mom. Final week when I was at their house, my dad needed to enter the household pool for a swim, just the 2 of us. It felt type of icky, however he mentioned that he just wanted a while alone with his doll.” That night when I bought back dwelling, I binged on meals. The following morning I starved myself and exercised until I pulled a muscle. All through my life, overeating has been an off-and-on sample. Sometimes I used to vomit or take laxatives as a manner not to turn out to be obese. I've stopped that, however now I am into compulsive exercising and weight-reduction plan. This three-step methodology to eliminating criticism from your relationship could seem overly simplistic. Nevertheless, belief me, it works! Over time, my non-public therapy shoppers have seen positive, noticeable improvements in their emotional, psychological and physical relationships with their loved ones. This is the power to soak up the shocks of each day life. Whenever you hit a pothole along the best way-as we all do, whether at work, with associates, or within the family-you need to roll with the impact and keep on trucking. You'll know you hit something, but you will not go careening off the road. One of the hallmarks of depression is the sense of losing management over your life-your body, your feelings, and your personal direction. Whereas complete management is a counterproductive purpose, it is vital to really feel that you simply're within the driver's seat, not a helpless passenger in your life while it spins uncontrolled in reaction to each crisis. Dude, I'm so sorry I've been a slacker about posting the stuff I've been doing in my Sunday Faculty class. I have been feeling the Spirit really telling me recently to chop again a little bit bit on the cutesy stuff. Well, the Spirit and some very snooty 17-12 months-outdated boys. I don't want my students to come back to my class to take a seat back and be entertained. Especially since a few of them will be going on missions inside six months. True Tarot Psychics. Affordable Psychics. Free Trial: GoThey have to be working towards educating and training digging into those scriptures and bearing their testimonies. Folks's outlook on Divorce is changing these days. One in every of my associates who recently got divorced celebrated her freedom by throwing a Social gathering for friends. Other than Divorce Events, divorce greeting cards are additionally getting common. I have personally witnessed some of my pals who had been divorced from their miserable first marriages finding happiness in their second marriage. Given below are ten Explanation why individuals might stay glued to their sad marriages. The song of the ‘Nightingale' is filled with spontaneous music. It is one thing that is issued with ease and willingness. This facet of the fowl's song leads the poet to fill giddy with joy. He feels a numbness that makes him oblivious. The musical notes of the ‘Nightingale' makes the poet's heart ache. This ache is just not produced by envy of the chook's comfortable state but as a result of the sunshine winged wooden nymph is joyful in its personal happiness. The fowl now becomes an inspiration to the poet. This numbness in him makes him search the world of ‘Bacchus' - the wine God. He longs for a ‘draught of classic' to assist him enter the world of imagination. He needs to escape the ache of dying and the ache of pleasure. He probably recalls the merry lifetime of the people in wine producing international locations, their merry songs and the joyful state of sun burnt grape gatherers.

Newberg has studied Eastern and Western thinkers to grasp their differing views on whether or not or not an goal reality exists outdoors of human notion. What fascinates him about mystical experiences—the purpose of many meditation practices—are the studies of experiencing a better reality that's more actual” than everyday perceptions.

[sooyummieunnie-blog]

EXO-L VS ARMY

SO before I start this blog, I would like to let you all knpow that I honeslty had to stare at this picture for so long trying to figure it out and I’m still honestly super on edge about who I wanna say it is. Like I feel right now like “It’s obviously Jungkook, that’s Jimin next to him.” But when I saw it at a smaller size I, no questions asked, absolutely KNEW it was Sehun and Kai. also the person to Jungkook/Sehun’s right (our left) kind of look(ed/s) like LuHan, so I just like... I don’t know, I’m gonna stop thinking about it before my head explodes.

Alright, Here I go!!

So, to give anyone knew to this scene some background- though to be completely honest, I don’t know much about it either- apparently fans of BTS (Armies) and fans of EXO (EXO-Ls) have some kind of rivalry going on, and so I’m here to present to you some information in the form of a persuasive essay (kind of, not really) because I can also turn it in to my English teacher for credit so, there’s your explanation as to why you’re reading this, if you even are. 

Personally, I first got into K-pop at the age of 14. BTS was still brand-spanking new, Jungkook was only 15, and Kris was leaving EXO. Of course, in the beginning, I could give two less shits because I only cared about one band- that band being BOYFRIEND, and I still love them. I was exploring the K-pop world a little bit, looking for bands that suited my- at the time- cutesy tastes. I had listened to a few songs by EXO, but at the time, my taste in music wasn’t exactly at it’s finest, so the fast-paced, kind of dark, and a little bit sexy-toned music of EXO (only in comparison to BOYFRIEND or B1A4) wasn’t exactly my thing. I think I also listened to ‘Boy In Luv’ one time before deciding I wasn’t into it- though I had seen a picture of Suga somewhere and thought he was cute. 

fast-forward to sophomore year- I was still listening to a lot of K-pop and had opened myself up a little more to bands like SHINee, B1A4, BEAST, BIGBANG, and, of course, EXO. I had pretty much forgotten about BTS. But let me tell you this about my little fake exo-l 16 year-old self! The only member of the band whose name I knew was BaekHyun. I had decided he was the cutest member, and at the time that was all I needed. I didn’t need to know the other members’ names because Baekhyun was the one I liked. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I knew Kai’s stage name because I also had a nephew named Kai, so I thought it was cool, and I knew Chanyeol’s name because the only picture I’d ever seen of him, his hair was outgrown, unkempt, and dyed ginger, and he was smiling really wide. Needless to say, I thought the fucker looked like fucking Chucky. He scared the shit out of me for a long time to be completely honest. I still don’t like that picture and always change my EXO bias for a few hours after seeing it. 

Fast forward again to February 2017. The middle of my senior year. 

I was (am still, while I’m writing this, but I don’t know when you’ll be reading it so whatever.) 18 and had just finished the Jumin route on Mystic Messenger. I was angry because, while I loved the characters I had to choose from, there was one I really liked who I couldn’t choose to have a relationship with.. If you haven’t played the game, the main characters/characters you interact with, are Yoosung, Zen, Jaehee (the only female you interact with), Jumin, 707/Luciel (the true ending and my husband, I’m cuddling with a body pillow of him as I type), Unknown, and an aqua-haired (going)blind photographer named Kim Jihyun who goes by the alias V. 

Now, most of you probably know, some of you may not, but BTS has a member in their band- a wonderful panda who is nothing less than precious and perfect and I love him- who goes by the stage name V. His birth name, for the sake of you who don’t know, is Kim Taehyung. Well, one day I was searching for Kim Jihyun, though I searched “V,” so of course, this is how I discovered (For the second time) BangTan Seonyeondan. 

I saw the pictures of Taehyung popping up all over the place, and I just thought “my god, have I ever seen a real person this adorable?” Well.. that got me thinking some more. 

“Well.. What about that BaekHyun guy? From that ‘EXO’ band?” 

And thus, I started listening to BTS while I tried to re-establish my connection with the K-POP fandom, and eventually started listening to some EXO as well, and some other bands that were really just fillers because I only liked 1 or 2 of their songs. I was getting really, really into the fandom. Started watching some K-dramas to go with it, starting with Descendants of the Sun (Song Joong Ki was the first person to get me into the Koreaboo fandom). 

I was really digging in, you know? And then came the BBMAS. I was feeling it. Just bought myself a ChanYeol sweater, had a BTS dust mask on the way, was following all the idols I could on social media. I heard that BTS had won best social artist and was stoked! I was so proud of my babies! I mean, I guess I’m still considered new to the fandom, but come on, I love these boys just as much as anyone else and you can’t tell me otherwise. Because while it was V’s looks that inspired me to look into the band, it was the music that caught my interest. Originally, I thought they were all a little bit funny looking (my very first thought of Jungkook ever was ‘oh my god it’s young Asian mark walberg’ and I have no idea why) because I wasn’t used to seeing people who were fully Korean. What I mean by that is: There are a lot of Half-Korean students at my old high school, so they were what I was used to seeing. You know, inherently white-looking.  

Anyway, I decided pretty quickly that I had needed my eyes checked because those boys and their music are both beautiful in every way. 

Back on topic: 

I was getting in the celebrating mood. My boys had just won an award, I was getting to watch videos of them meeting all kinds of western artists who were just as excited to meet them as they were to even be there at all. I was so proud, like a mom watching her 7 grown ass men sons go to pre-school for the first time. 

On one particular video- I think it was one of them performing ‘Save Me’ in the billboard studios- I found a comment that made me stop. I hadn’t realized before I saw this comment that EXO-Ls and ARMIES are kind of rivals. What the comment said isn’t entirely important, I can’t remember it exactly, but basically, it was an EXO-L very harshly and rudely expressing her anger (more like jealousy?) that it was BTS and not EXO. She said some things about BTS being untalented and how EXO is much better and how BTS used EXO for popularity. 

That’s right. 

BTS.

USED.

EXO.

FOR.

POPULARITY.

... 

WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS BITCH THINK SHE IS?!

But I didn’t say that. I thought about it for a long time, and then decided “Alright. Fans will be fans, it’s okay to be butthurt, but why this much hostility? Why do you hate BTS so much? Why are you literally threatening the lives of fans of BTS?” 

I’m not saying I’ve found and answer to these questions, but I am saying this: The rivalry between EXO-L and ARMY is ridiculous and kind-of out of hand.  

Let me start by telling you what made me so upset. 

The event she was referring to, when BTS allegedly “used EXO for popularity” was at an awards ceremony (I think). Baekhyun posted somewhere a Selca from after the ceremony of himself and V posing together, making a face that made them look just about identical. They’d also been seen shaking hands and talking earlier throughout the ceremony. This wasn’t even the first time this happened, they’d been seen being friendly with each other once before at another award ceremony. Of course, BTS being a less popular band than EXO in some areas, some people were bound to see it as suspicious. Kim Taehyung getting close to his sunbaenim, Byun Baekhyun? Of course someone somewhere would say ‘That’s a publicity stunt!’ if not for this fact: 

BaekHyun approached Taehyung. Not the other way around. 

Both times, BaekHyun was the one to approach Taehyung, greet him with a friendly handshake 

And there’s also this picture, which came from a Chanyeol fan-site that I’m not sure about, I just found it on google to be completely honest, but I think it says something about my point: 

I’m not sure if you can tell, and I’m not sure if i’m even right, but to me this picture looks like (from left to right) (BTS)Taehyung, (BTS)Yoongi, (EXO)Chanyeol, and (EXO) Kyungsoo. They all appear to be pretty friendly with each other, clearly Chanyeol has his arm around Suga/Yoongi. That’s clearly D.O to Chanyeol’s right, and It’s not 100% clear but I’m almost certain that the leftmost person is Taehyung. 

Basically, what I’m trying to say is this: 

Just because one band may be more or less popular than the other, it doesn’t mean that when they interact the less popular band is only doing it for popularity. They may really, truly, honestly be friends. 

Let me show you this quote from an interview with BTS’ Maknae, Jeon Jungkook: 

Do you see that? Jungkook would want to fuck Kyungsoo if he was a girl (not to be vulgar, I’m really just trying to throw in some humor but I’m not a funny person). 

My point is: Jungkook idolizes D.O apparently, so if you saw them together, would you be excited for Jungkook, or would you say Jungkook was using Kyungsoo to get more famous?

Since finding that comment, I see more and more hostility everyday between the two sides, and both sides start it, it’s not one side being worse than the other because I’ve seen ARMIES post some awful things on Baekhyun’s instagram photos. Which is like-

I won’t get into some of the terrible things I’ve heard both sides say, because that’s not my point. My point is this: 

Stop it! If the boys can be friends, why can’t we? I know many EXO-Ls are also ARMIES and vice versa. I don’t think I could ever choose between the two, I love them both so much and if Chanyeol and Taehyung were both standing in front of me right now asking me to choose which one of them I would marry, I’d probably just shoot myself because how the hell could you possibly choose? 

What I’m trying to say is, if our boys can be friends then so can we. There’s no reason to fight, because everybody has their own preference. It’s okay if you prefer BTS over EXO, just like it’s okay if you prefer GOT7 over B.A.P or BOYFRIEND over B1A4. It’s totally cool! But there is no reason for you to go after somebody else because they like someone else. 

AND GOD DAMN IT IF I HEAR SOMEBODY SAY “B1A4 SUCKS BTS IS BETTER” I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL show you this picture of Jin and Sandeul at an amusement park together (Gongchan got so jealous~!) 

OR THIS OF JIN HOLDING SANDEUL BRIDAL STYLE!!:

They look like they just got married tbh. 

Alright. Here’s my conclusion: 

It doesn’t matter who likes what band. Just because you like BTS doesn’t mean you can’t like EXO. Just because you like EXO doesn’t mean you can’t like BTS. You can love and support both bands. And just because somebody else likes a ‘rival’ band better than they like your personal favorite band, it doesn’t mean they’re personally attacking you and their is no reason to be hostile. Let’s just call an alliance between all fans of all K-pop and just do what we were meant to do with this fandom: 

Enjoy the music.

[bookreadalongs]

Wow, Lara J, I Get You

15:49 5/8/2017

85. All cutesy and smiles on the outside, but on the inside bitter thought. “I guess she didn’t think a girl like me could really shine at UVA.” 86. “He’s a Potter person, like us.” I thought it said “like the rest of us” and I was like yes! 87. I feel like Ravenclaw would suit Margot, but that’s because she’s a Ravenclaw…probably. LJ’s…very creative, but probably hufflepuff. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was Gryffindor…actually, she’s very scared about a lot of things. I don’t think she lets fear rule her life, but I think it does affect it (naturally) to a degree that she wouldn’t be Gryffindor. I’d love for Ravi to be Slytherin. Yo, where’s Josh going to school? 88. Dad didn’t think Margot would be the hardest to please, I bet. Lara Jean always chirps on about her mother. Margot did have he most time with her though… 91. I love the way they talk about their family. LJ said earlier– Tumblr is doing it again. Anyway, I’ll ignore it right now, just focusing on not making typos that I can’t see. LJ said they were a Butter in the fridge family. Same. Now, Margot says they are not a Fresca family. Love it. I never thought of our family this way, but everyone has their quirks. Family’s as a whole certainly do.

I can’t handle this. 15:59 can’t see

16:23 102. Me. I’m probably And Peggy, but I’d rather not condemn myself that way. 106. I remember how much I wanted Tia there when I found a prom dress…goodness gracious Tumblrr. Okay, I’ll switch to desktop 16:28 16:32 114. Okay, I caved. Peter is included in the proposal though! Like, woah! Would it be overkill if she said no? Like LJ’s rejection? She won’t though…just all of these expectations, planning the future around assumptions 116. AHHHHH I CAN’T THAT IS SO NICE PETER AND KITTY 121. That’s so embarrassing. I thought KITTY called her Tree because she was tall… 16:56 I suck. I read the last paragraph. It was perfect. By the last paragraph, I mean the last two pages basically. Mom basically said to postpone making dinner. I will for half an hour to an hour. 7:29 138. LJ…she’s so cute. It doesn’t annoy me at all that she’s pretty. She’s just…she’s a good one to be pretty. 140. Literal same. I’m so there. Draft talk is always like wat. I tried to look it up a few times. I feel like I got caught reading about other countries or something. 140-141. He’s so cute. So young. So full of life and promise. AHHH SAME LARA JEAN 141. He’s so cute and perceptive. 143. I totally had those thoughts. In his twenties that I may never get to meet. 146. I just remembered that cliche thing is what I say. Cliches are cliches for a reason. I hope Chris remembers LJ’s birthday 147. I love it. 148. Will KITTY and Owen….?? 151. HAHAHAHAH WOW FACE MASKS?! 153. Oh, I’ve been wanting to watch that for years! Because…Burdge 156. See, right now I don’t relate to Lara Jean much at all. I would not be this hands on in a wedding during school, I don’t think. I wonder if the Asian heritage subconsciously plays a role for me I wonder if Tia saying asians were weird in my childhood made a difference for me. Lily wasn’t. Tia liked Lily a lot…she also appreciated nicer people. I don’t know. I know I’m more easily jealous of another Asian than others…I just want to break down all of my walls of prejudice 159. I love this exchange “Sure, but I could’ve had that idea on my own, you know. You should at least give me a chance to have ideas.” I pay him on the knee. “Just please don’t forget.” 160. Dang. I forgot they were related. I thought he just volunteered too. Sneaking out and playing in the snow…so sweet. 161. I’m not entirely sure who sent that text. 162. Oh right. I wish we got to see Margot Meeting Stormy. I have been thinking about writing and don’t know how to avoid the boring parts…but JHan just skips them. If their too rudimentary and have little purpose, just don’t include them. They need to contribute to the story. 163. The offer, true offer, is what counts for me too. I can be furious or ready to cry, and someone can say, I’m sorry. I can __ and suddenly I’m all good. Because that’s all I needed. A genuine offer to clean the dish or do this or that, then I’ll do it anyway…because all I was ever really searching for was the offer. - for a second I thought she’d rethink and go to school in Richmond. Probs not though 164. Wow. A year ago. We missed most of LJ’s senior year. I want to know what she did. Mostly spend it with Peter? Go to those parties? 167. WHAT WHAT WHAT?! WAT WAT. WHAAAAAT? I always pictured John Ambrose McClaren as a really smart dude destined for…I don’t know…an Ivy, I guess. Love it. 168. LJ is just too darn relatable sometimes. I swear, she can appeal to such a great audience. “I say it like I don’t remember her name, even though I do, I mean, I just heard him say it two minutes ago.” 19:10 My potato pancakes are a struggle. They were supposed to be a quick easy dinner… 180. I get that. Knowing someone so well… 181. Lip jut out. Awwww 182. I wish I went to after prom…in Shaker I wish I had Tia’s high school life 183. But Chris knew she’d spend time with LJ during her birthday after all 184. AHHH IT IS ALMOST CHEATING USING ALL THESE CUTESY MOVIE CLICHES BUT I LOVE IT 185. Little lines that are vague and obvious, but hit you are why I like Jenny Han. “I guess that’s part of growing up too–saying goodbye to the things you used to love.” Ah, so that’s why she wished to always love Peter as much as she did in that moment. I guess John Green’s thing that Ryan loved and bought was so deep about funerals being for the living is also…like what I love. The cliches authors know teenagers and anyone– I feel like I’ll love this later in life too, will love because they feel that tug of authenticity in the quote. You can connect to it by thinking of a particular feeling or memory even though the line wasn’t explicitly written for you. 190. He doesn’t say anything because he hasn’t broken t to her that they will not have all summer because DI lax or because they only have summer? 191. Leaving high school…damn that would’ve been crazy in Shaker 193. I let the breathing thing slide even though I thought it was funny. Kitty saying let’s not get carried away made me actually laugh though. This book has the most feminine cover and coloring ever 196. This is the first time Chris has been more of a good thing than a bad thing I feel like. I would do this. 197. I know Peter will try to call as your phone is dead. He’ll be all but LJ doesn’t let her phone die! Wat is going on 199. Tell him that. Text him rather than being spiteful! I’m always spiteful though 201. She definitely plays the role of introvert well, but…I don’t know. People can be introverted and just not be as socially anxious I guess. 204. Chris’ big attitude and talk are coming down now…it’s refreshing. 206. Another use of the phrase “it’s cliche for a reason” 208. This is a great page. It gave me chills. A genuine connection between Lara Jean and her future step mom. Differentiating her life from Peter…laughter from lack of sleep. Matriarchy 211. Oh goody! I’d love for them not to go to a party too! 213. As my Dear Evan Hansen would say, we start with stars in our eyes…Peters have deflated a little 214. Wow, Virginia Tech? Aren’t tech schools harder? Is Gen like smart? 216. Lols me as a girlfriend. Literal the shitty parts of me as a girlfriend 217. Why is he a dick? For getting drunk? That’s certainly part of it. Not being completely happy? Fair, but, yes, dickish. He seems to have changed a lot since dating her though. I don’t think she realizes that. 218. Hahaha love him - A truth universially acknowledged that a man with a fortune must be in want of a wife? Or something like that. It’s been a few years. 3? 220. I laughed again at “Do I need to explain to you guys again about Silpat versus parchment paper?” “We got it.” Hahaha her share of cookies 222. Hahah “Hey, I’m built.” 225. HAHAHA THE LONG CON. GOTTA GET PETER ON YOUR SIDE 227. Does Jenny Han also follow Burdge? Or are all of these coincidences (okay, two, Amelie and tread softly because you tread on my dreams) 229. That’s sweet 232. I just realized Jenny Han sneakily maneuvered back to the beach. @TheSummerITurnedPretty 233. Those trying very hard to be relatable lines…not being able to find a hair tie when you need one 234. High school being a time to remember for the rest of your life…. 20:04 Gotta make food. Not feeling reading anymore. 20:28 236. IT can be hard bringing up snooping. It's because he lied. Lies suck 238. Feelingly? -basketball hoop heist? @barneystinson 241. WOAH HOW DID I NEVER GET THAT SHE WENT TO CAMILLA'S SCHOOL? I guess...if it's been two years since this came out, and I read the second one reasonably before Camilla told me I could've forgotten. Still. Bad friend move 243. Eek is right. She's trying 246. Woah. That's something KITTY would say. Ruthless That's an interesting take on why it's better to be in a fight rather than passive aggressive pensiveness 247. KITTY THAT IS SO SWEET! No one would've been able to tell Kitty to do that. That's the cutest thing ever 248. Oh, Peter 250. LJ is so endearing 253. That's so cute. Lara Jean liked Kitty's nose earlier 256. They're both understandably petty. 257. Good ol' John Ambrose McClaren 258. I wish we got to see that talk of LJ being the star of that costume...now that I think about it...he always does let her be the star WAIT WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO THE BEACH? DID IT ALREADY HAPPEN?! THERE IS SO LITTLE BOOK LEFT! I was content at the end of PS I still love you. I so will not be content now. I feel like that has less to do with the books than my state of being 259. Wtf you took your grandmother to karaoke and we didn't get to see that? I feel jypped Oh good. Somehow I knew Beach Week hadn't happened yet. Time just jumps sometimes in these books. 20:53 20:10 262. Oh, Lara Jean, so romantic. I wish I was like that 269. Hahaha John Ambrose McClaren is so cute. What a rabbit 270. JHan is totally trying to make him cute too "still holding the carrot" What the BUT? He was going to her school, then she goes to the school he planned to transfer to? They just have weird, but many similarities. It's why he's so cute. Because she's so cute He's genuinely happy for her doing what he couldn't 274. Just don't be too offended when he doesn't eat it because diet. Also, how can you be so skinny, LJ? 276. LJ is very confident...she's a good role model. Good job, Jenny Han 277. She understands a layer of someone who she loves more than life itself be away 278. He really respects her 21:24 21:28 279. I love him. I love his precautions. I love that he literally jumped away when she said wait Have they ever even been half unclothed? 280. He's so reassuring 285. Woah. PETER OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO RECKLESS AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN TREACHEROUS. YOU STILL HAVE STARS IN YOUR EYES. YOU ARE SO CUTE 289. It's so hard. It truly is. 290. The house feels small. Rather than big. With her feeling so small That's the most younger sister thing I have ever heard. "Margot and I are on the same level, and you're on the level below us because, you're the youngest." Lara Jean is that bridge. Perks of middle child...though I frequently see the oldest and youngest with stronger relationships because they just don't have friction as much 293. That's nice that Margot noticed. I get not telling her. Tia is great, gives wonderful advice...but sometimes I feel like she doesn't completely listen to me when she has made up her mind...or that she talks down to me if she does listen 294. Pigtails? LJ is childish sometimes 299. One drink? Yeah...I can't do that Ah, yes. The drunk slight cop out 302. I mean, all of that does make sense in his perspective. 303. Wow. What a good moment for Margot and Trina to make amends, or start to, right before the wedding 304. I love that this was her first hang over. I realized this whole book I've been nervous she was going to just let loose at some party. This kind of makes sense 305. Why does Kitty know? 308. These children are all so privileged. To think she could get anything she needs...on the spur 309. Yeah....that's the thing about growing up. Nothing will ever be the same 310. Is it normal to only have one or two friends from high school? I guess so... 311. I just had real flashbacks to too much frosting during OL...asking about f it was homemade. I would've made it. I was talked out of it. If everything went how I thought it would and should....I guess I'll never know if I ever could've 316. I read that as ice cream. I was like interesting for a wedding 317. Ahh my heart. Tears actually formed. He was so scared. She gave him the scrapbook or break up... 320. I love how uncertain that is. Jenny Han knows that. "With all the certainty only a teenage boy can have" 321. Wow. I love it. I love him. He's so imperfect. Why only tell us this now? I was just wondering when she got it back 322. AHHH NOW SHE'S LEAVING TO COLLEGE?! I guess...this is already so subtle and contemporary. The only times it shows are little times of conflict. She showed all of the cutesy in the beginning to convince us all of their love...I feel like I need to reread the first one mow..this is so sad That's totally the point. A chapter ending. I wonder if this was sad for Jenny Han 324. The dream. My dream. Marrying my childhood best friend...that's Jack though. He's crazy. He's a star. Tia says he's gay. Wouldn't put it past him. He's amazing, but I just don't think I will ever feel that way. I mean, I totally did kindergarten and fourth grade, but...he's not my best friend anymore... I forgot so much. I should've reread them all before reading this. I remember he got that brooch or something for her from his mom's store...but don't remember everything. 325. Wow. I know I read it earlier. I read it preemptively like a little brat. This was a really good book. It was different...powerful. The other books were cute. I loved them in that way. The one that got away. Josh. They weren't relatable for me. I loved them. Jenny Han plays the being able to love them, but love Peter more extremely well. I have to say, though I always think this after reading something new that I like...5 stars. Maybe 4.85. I love it. It's so cute. It's not 100% relatable, but it is somewhat, and it's great in ways that it's not relatable. Throwback when it was too perfect, and I was unsure about it. Look how far we've come. That was a perfect ending. I love Jenny Han so much. I love it all. The fact that they're still so close...that they can go home on three day weekends...I ache for that...but...it's good for them. It really is. I went to Barnes and noble for the last time today. Well, the last time here. I sneakily took a picture of Jenny's Q and A in the B&N exclusive version. I felt very...wrong doing it. I looked over my shoulder, quickly did it, then quickly put the book back...I am so bad at being bad. It was just the question of what LJ's wedding song with Peter would be and what her wedding song with JAM would be. Wow. Gotta love those initials. At Last was perfect. They are so good for each other...truly soul mates in another life. Well, he probably is transferring to UNC...no. Peter and LJ though. They can do it. Please? I love that this is where it ends. It feels ended. It's such a good place to end it. They still have stars in their eyes. They never really fought. This will be different. 4 hours though...no...like 3.5...that's so reasonable. They can do it. 22:24 22:25 OKAY AHHHHHHH! I went to read the playlist again (for about the fourth or fifth time, I know. I suck) and it ended with Frank Ocean...because, well, sex. Love it. Sneaky. Okay...I think it's really done now...I will make some of the sweets in the back sometimes. Pour one out for LJ and her sweet tooth and her sweet relationships with her family and Peter. 22:26