#it’s possible that he just gets what he needs from dreams

[shysuccubusstuff]

L&DS LI are for those that... pt. 1

Content: Reasons why some people may find themselves feeling more attracted for some of the LI ♡. Gender neutral reader! + Non proof-reader + SFW content

Possible TW: Mention of unsafe child bringing + yelling + parents issues +

Note: My brain has been so lazy lately... So sorry for not posting! Together with the fact that my tumblr page has been acting a lil weird is just so---. I hope that everyone who reads this is having a good day!! This is actually my first time writing about Rafayel!

Question: Who is your favourite LI in L&DS? Mine are probably Sylus, Zayne, and Caleb (in that order). Something interest abt this is that my first LI was Xavier!

Xavier:

Xavier is for those that need someone that loves taking life slowly. The ones that have that feeling that they have been running their whole life's, always having that fear of loosing to someone they don't even know.

Xavier is for those that have quality time as love language. The ones that enjoy spending time with their significant other. It doesn't matter if they are making a trip to some lost place or if they are laying in bed together, the fact that they can spend the whole day together is more than enough to keep them shining the whole day.

Xavier is for those who prefer a calm yet confident lover. The ones that love someone who is able to remain calm even when they can clearly see someone trying to hit on their lover. Still, as soon as it's just the two of you, rest asure that he will make sure to show you just how much he loves and wants you, leaving trails of his kisses all over your neck, not one spot free from his lips.

Xavier is for those that long for an everlasting love, the one that grows over time. The type of love that goes beyond the boundaries of life and death, the one that all those novels talk about. One that allows the other to simply know who their lover is regardless of your physical appeareance. I mean, how could he simply ignore those small gestures? From the way that you smiled, those sweet wrinkles appearing in your eyes as he made a silly joke, to that loving gaze you gave him while the two of you were cooking together, your arms wrapping around him as you tried to avoid him from burning the little pastry. He is aware that the one he met and the one he knows now are not the same person, he knows it, he isn't the naïve prince from centuries ago that decided to run away as an attempt to save you. So he makes his decision, choosing this time to stick close to you, his sword always following yours as if the two of you had been fighting your whole life, protecting you from each wanderer, while reassuring you and your abilities, as he is aware of just how strong you truly are.

Zayne:

Zayne is for those that love being taken care of. The ones that have spent all their life feeling as if everyone is relying on them. It's not something just about being the oldest sibling, but always having to be the bigger person. The one friend that is always taking care of the other friends, never being asked how they feel or what they want.

Zayne is for those that love a gentle lover. The ones that have grown up in an unsafe environment. The ones that were constantly being yelled at or insulted. Zayne is for those that need a gentle love, someone who will never raise his tone, his voice always soft even when you keep testing his patience.

Zayne is for those who yearn for physical affection. The ones that have always been too scared of asking for it, the ones that get uncomfortable with the feeling of being close to someone. You have always been afraid of it, fear of them rejecting it, so you have grown accustomed to it, hugging your soft plushies as you dream about having a someone to hug and be hugged by.

Zayne is for those who always fall in love with the socially awkward men, the ones that aren't even aware of the way their frowns are always furrowed. The ones that love seeing a more than capable men become a mess because of love, those that keep their exterior face completely frozen, yet their mind is rushing, heart beating as fast as if they were running away from a wild animal. The ones that begin to feel their face heat up as they keep noticing the presence of their loved ones, his pupils expanding as they lock eyes with you.

Rafayel:

Rafayel is for those who have a fear of abandonment. The ones that have that constant feeling that the people they love are actually tired of them. Rafayel is for those that have grown always feeling as if they are the black sheep, the ones that were always the friend that had to walk behind the rest. Rafayel, who makes sure to let you know just how much you are loved, sending messages constantly, calling you everytime you let him know that you're free. Rafayel, who sends pictures of every little thing that reminds him of you.

Rafayel is for those that always feel kind of pessimistic. The ones that need someone that reminds them that the world didn't stop when they failed on that something that they were supposed to be the best at. The ones that yearn for that feeling of hopefulness, the ones that love being reassured that nothing will happen if they take a small break, letting them rest during a whole day after working so hard during the week.

Rafayel is for those who never got to really act like a children. The ones that were forced to grow up, pushed by the different circumstances that made them realise just how harsh the real world is. This is exactly why you need someone like Rafayel, someone who is able to bring that inner child, making you laugh from the top of your lungs while you chase around him as if the two of you were still children. He is the kind of man that may get on your nerves at first, always joking around while you treat everything as a matter of life and death, but this same attitude allows you to relax, becoming more and more playful as the time that the two of you spent together increased.

Rafayel is for those that dream about a love that gives just the same as you. Rafayel is for the ones that have always felt like they get the short end of the stick, the ones that always love too much and too hard, the ones that don't mind hurting themselves as long as the other person doesn't feel hurt. Rafayel is for those that seek for someone that is ready to give them everything they have just as they would do. He is for those that have always looked for someone that will accept them as a whole, not just the soft and funny part, but also the part that they have been trying so hard to hide, the one that is so scared of being abandoned after giving everything to their loved one.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

compos mentis 8

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, chronic health issues, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After a long court case, your mother stays attached to her lawyer, bringing even more contention into your life.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: my head is fucked

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Andy brings you breakfast in bed. You can't help but feel the guilt rippling off him. All of this is penance on his part. 

It's as close to vindication as you'll get. You're mother would never admit what she did, let alone apologise. That's when you see her again. You're not so sure you ever want to. 

The world is distant. It doesn't feel quite real. It's like a dream. The edges aren't quite sharp enough and the colours are cloudy. 

You look down at the plate and your stomach grumbles out of basic need. You don't have much appetite but your biology is at a constant battle with your mind. You shouldn't be able to breathe but you are, you should take your meds but you don't feel all that different.  

A poached egg, whole wheat toast, turkey bacons, and thick greek yogurt with fruit. It's all very healthy but a bit more than you would eat, when you feel up to it. Your breakfasts are a hard-boiled egg or a small cup of hot oats and milk. 

"I hope it's okay," he hovers at the foot of the bed. He's dressed already. You're less than put together. You're still groggy from a grief-laden sleep and the hangover of the bitter revelation. You wear his borrowed shirt and gym shorts, your messy hair untamed despite your efforts.  

"I called in to the office. I don't think I could focus of I tried," he explains. "And there's too much to be done here." 

"There is?" You nibble the toast. 

You'd hoped for some time alone. Not to think, just to be. You're still lost in all of this. The anger, the hurt, the regret, the confusion, and shame... 

"Sweetie, you don't have any clothes. I have a spare toothbrush for you but it's a travel one from a hotel. And you'll need everything else, right? Soaps and whatever." 

"Oh, I... I don't... my mom has all my money..." you utter and deflate again. You put down the toast. Your stomach is roaring but you just want to puke again.  

"I'll deal with that. Don't worry. She's not as clever as she thinks." He puts his hands on his hips. He does that when he's upset. He used to argue with your mom and stand like that. "Please, eat. Your clothes should be dry soon." 

"My clothes?" 

"I threw them in the wash for you--" his sentence is punctured by the doorbell. His jaw ticks. "I'll deal with that. Probably Mrs. Potter trying to give me more casserole." 

He leaves and you put your focus on the plate. You shouldn't just eat because you're hungry, you should eat because he went to all this effort. You pick up a slice of toast and break through the soft yolk. 

You eat deliberately. Chewing slowly, methodically. A shrill yowl tightens your throat around a swallow. You know that shriek. 

You carefully slide the tray forward and balance it on the legs as you angle out from beneath. You go to the window and try to see past the eaves and awning. You can't. Only the police cruiser and a familiar car... 

You listen. The noise wafts in from the bedroom door. You follow it and peer down at the front door. It's muffled but clearly coming from the porch. 

You twist the handle nervously and open the door a crack. You can't see past Andy as he stands staunchly on the mat, arms crossed. You glance an officer's belt with the radio attached and your mother's snarl lashes you like a barb. 

"He has my daughter. She's sick--" 

"She's an adult," Andy insists. "I'm not holding her against her will." 

"She can't-- I am her legal guardian. She can't be here on free will, genius." 

"Ma'am," a stern female voice warns. "Sir, where is the daughter?" 

"She's sleeping." He lies. 

You let the door fall inward. You don't want to be in trouble. No one seems to notice. You stall and shiver on the threshold. It isn't cold, you're just scared. 

You make yourself step out. There's not much room. As Andy stands like a wall. You peek around him. 

"Hi," you murmur. 

"My baby," your mother throws her hands up and comes forward. Andy moves to block her. "You can't keep me from my girl-- where is her oxygen? Officers, she needs air!" 

“No, I don’t,” you say, quiet but firm. 

Your mother flinches but doesn’t relent, “he’s manipulated her. I can call the doctor right now and you’ll see. She hasn’t been without her tank in years. She could die--” 

“That’s not true,” you murmur. 

“Ma’am,” the female officer warns. “Let her speak.” 

You look around with wide eyes, taking in the full scene. Andy stands just behind you, you can hear him exhale. A male officer is on the other side of your mother. You open your mouth then shut it. 

“Sweetie,” your mother reaches for you and you shy away. 

“Alright, Jackson, you stay here, I’m going to talk to her. Alone,” the female officer says. She reaches out and waves you to her delicately. “You wanna come with me? We can talk. Just you and me.” 

You gulp and look at Andy. His blue eyes blaze as he meets your gaze. He dips his chin slightly. You turn back and nod. As you cross the porch, your mother tries to latch onto you. The other officer, Jackson, pulls her back. 

You sidle past her and follow the woman. She takes you to the curb. You look down at your bare feet then at her. 

“I’m Officer Patel. What’s your name?” She asks. 

You answer and she shifts so you can’t see the house. “Me and my partner came because we got a call about a possible abduction. We’re just here to hear the full story. What’s going on here?” 

You rub your neck and fidget. You can’t tell her the truth. Not the full truth. You can’t tell her your mom lied to you. Not even that she hit you. You don’t want to go back to court. You don’t want to tell everyone how stupid and pathetic you are. 

“I’m here.... because I want to be,” you shrug. 

“Your mother says there was an argument.” 

You chew your lip, “she couldn’t find her pills. She left. I don't know... I don’t know why she came back.” Your chin trembles and you clasp your hands on your shirt hem. You sway back and forth. “She doesn’t love me.” 

You hang your head. That’s it. What you always knew deep down. What’s so clear now that she’s ground you into dust. You’re nothing to her so she made you into nothing at all. 

“She’s your mom, I’m sure you two will work this out. Me and my partner are just making sure you’re safe. We were told that man is keeping you here without consent.” 

You flinch and shake your head furiously. You wave your hands, “no, no. Andy... Andy helped me and... I shouldn’t be here because... because... because I’m a loser and.... my mom... my mom...” you stutter. “She doesn’t want me.” 

“She says you’re sick? You need oxygen?” She prompts. 

You twiddle your fingers. “No, not really. Not... all the time. I can breathe, see?” 

She watches you, “right. How old are you, miss?” 

“Twenty-four.” 

She nods. “You’re not a minor?” 

“No,” you blurt out. Many assume as much, especially with you always hiding behind your mom. “No, I’m an... adult.” 

“Do you want to press charges against anyone?” 

“Charges? For what?” You wonder. 

She sighs. “You’re free to go. You’re grown up and you can make your own choices without mom.” She tuts and turns to look across the lawn, “Jackson, come on.” 

You peer over. Andy stands, arms crossed, staring at you. Your mother rears like a snake, muttering under her breath. You head back up the walk and Officer Patel speaks again. 

“You have to leave, Ma’am.” 

You stop and peek over your shoulder. Patel points to your mother, “we will escort you if need be.” 

Jackson looks at her. She snarls and stomps her foot, “oh don’t you even think of touching me.” She huffs and storms past him. She comes down the steps and you think for an instant, she might push you. She stops beside you. “I took care of you, sweetie. Do you think he will for long? After he figures out what you are?” 

She continues past you. You continue up the paved squares and past Officer Jackson as he follows. As you come up to the steps, you hear the engines turn over. You’re suddenly very tired. 

“Andy,” you drag your feet over the mat. “I want to lay down.” 

“Alright, honey. We’ll sort everything out later,” he turns and stretches his arm across the door frame as you enter.  

He shuts the door as you stagger on, eyes hazy with tears. Your own mother despises you. She’s right about him too. He’ll hate you one day but you don’t know what to do to change any of this. 

💙

Andy makes you finish breakfast before you lay down. He’s right. It’s good for you to eat and you haven’t been doing a lot of that. 

You lay down for an hour before you sense him getting restless. You can hear him downstairs. You can’t be lazy. You don’t have any excuses anymore. You’re not sick, just weak. 

You make yourself get up and venture downstairs. He’s in the kitchen, flicking through his phone as it rests on the counter. You clear your throat and wring your hands as you enter. 

“I’m sorry. I was upset. It’s really stupid but sometimes I just... can’t do anything. Even if I try. I’m sorry, Andy. I’m... so sorry.” 

He faces you and his face contorts in a spectrum of emotion, “oh, honey, you don’t need to be sorry. I put your clothes on the couch for you. Just waiting. Take your time.” 

“Waiting for me,” you frown and look at the floor. “My mom lied. A lot. But I don’t think she was wrong about everything.” 

“What do you mean?” He shifts closer. 

You shrug, “me. I’m... I’m useless.” 

“No,” his voice hardens. “No, take it back.” 

“What?” You pout and bat your eyes as you peek up at him. 

“You’re not going to talk about yourself like that. Not with me. So take it back.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry--” 

“Apologise to yourself,” he insists staunchly. “Honey, don’t let her control you. She’s gone.” 

“But... but...” 

“You’re adjusting. I understand that. I’m not expecting you to be okay right now. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with me. We’re both... figuring this out.” 

You nod and your lips twitch. You could cry. 

“Thanks, er, I’ll... change then. Um, Andy... are we going somewhere?” 

“Sure, sweetheart. I mentioned earlier, didn’t I? About clothes? I tried to get the officers to agree to an escort to go to your mom’s but you saw her. She’s not in her right mind,” he explains. 

“Yeah, that makes sense,” you flutter your fingers nervously and he looks down at them. You clasp them over your chest to make them stop. “I’ll hurry up then.” 

You turn and scurry out. You go into the front room and grab the neatly folded clothes. He keeps everything so tidy and in its place. You go to the bathroom and set it on the counter. 

As you take your panties from between the jeans and tee shirt, you hesitate. It’s a bit embarrassing to think of him washing your underwear. You could’ve done it if he showed you where the machines are. 

You shrug it off. You’re just happy he helped. It’s a nice feeling when people do things for you. 

You change and bring out the borrowed clothes. Andy is still in the kitchen. You stand in the doorway. 

“Where do I put these?” You ask. 

He pops his head up and tucks away his phone, “oh, I can take care of them.” 

“Thanks, Andy, but uh, could I see? I’d like to know where everything is so I can help.” 

“Help?” He approaches and takes the clothes, his hands brushing over yours. “With what?” 

“I don’t know, everything?” You say. “You helped me so much and I want to do the same. I want to be useful. I want to be... better.” 

The tension leaves his shoulder and he smiles. “Alright, sure, that’s nice of you.” He goes to step past you then stops. “Sweetheart, you know, your mom is wrong. About everything. You’re an amazing girl. Really, you’re wonderful. And today, I want you to try as much as you can to forget. I want you to feel good about you, because you should. Because you deserve it.” 

You swallow and bounce nervously on your feet, “Andy, you’re so nice.” 

“I’m just being honest. Should’ve tried that a lot sooner,” he says. 

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | 12.5

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, infidelity, suggestive/implied smut, indications of a toxic relationship, very broken relationship at this point actually, lots of back and forth, also pls remember i didn't put any hard dates to things that have happened so i couldn't tell u exactly what day, time and season iseul decided to be like this 🫤, crying, yelling, a sprinkle of violence (like a push, slamming hand against the wall, throwing objects), hints of manipulation and gaslighting

—on rotation: oceans & engines - niki | blame - bryson tiller

⇢ POSTDOC | EARLY YR 3

Love does not prevail.

Love does not conquer all.

San used to think it did, but as he's been sitting in his old room at his parents' home, he's realizing that wasn't the case for him. He tries, and he tries. He tries to make himself believe that it still can conquer all, and that it still can prevail. He tries to tell himself that it wasn't him, that he did no wrong. That this was just a fucking dream he's waiting to wake up from.

He tries to believe what he has is still love.

He tries to believe he is still worthy of receiving love and being loved; of not sitting in this heartache for long.

—FLASHBACK

San is exhausted, but he's excited to be coming home a whole day earlier than planned to surprise Iseul. He caught the next flight out as soon as his commitments during the conference had wrapped up, ready to come to his wife and be in her arms. He couldn't wait to hold her, kiss her, and shower her with love especially because they had been arguing lately. It's like that was the only form of communication they knew.

All he wanted was to stop— to make up and to give her everything, to have her back and to just be.. happy.

Why were they even fighting so much?

Iseul felt distant and he wasn't sure how to bring her back. But, he'd try his damn hardest. She was his wife and he loved her so. He would never give up no matter how hard it got.

It never used to be this way.

San picks up Iseul's favorite perfume from the Duty Free and stops by a quick flower stand to grab a small bouquet of roses. He calls an Uber that comes in less than 5 minutes— San gently setting his carry-on bag in the trunk before plopping into the backseat with the roses and perfume sitting on his lap. He texts Iseul as if he hasn't returned, trying to keep the surprise under wraps as much as possible. He's trying to see what she's up to and if she ate for dinner, but she hasn't responded.

Which, again, wasn't entirely uncommon behavior from Iseul.

But, since they had been fighting and arguing so much recently, the pauses and breaks in between texts seemed to be getting longer and longer— a tiny detail he refused to look at because it would unravel the rest of the problems he had been brushing under the rug;

Problems he stuck at the back end of a book.

He texted her close to three hours ago. 

San didn't really know why Iseul was so angry with him sometimes. She argued and she would say things that made him feel like something deep within her resented him more than loved him. He's aware he's not the best with his time management, he's aware that, sometimes, he makes her feel like she comes after everything else.

He's aware.

He'll acknowledge his mistakes and short-comings, but he'll always make up for it. He isn't perfect, but he'll always try. Always.

When the cab pulls up to the house, nothing feels unusual. He feels like he sees Yunho's car parked on the side street a house down, but that wouldn't be too unusual since he's always around. But, it does feel a little weird that he would be here when San wasn't home. The two had been really close as of lately, and it felt like Yunho had gotten closer to Iseul than he had been with San.

Yet, another tiny detail he refused to look into because of all the possibilities.

They could never.

San felt so naive, but they could never.

He gets inside the house and the living room TV is still on. Kinda loud, actually. There's two wine glasses sitting on the counter, both empty with remnants of red wine pooling at the bottom. San sets his work bag down before carrying his carry-on duffle upstairs with him, along with the flowers and perfume.

Funny that they aren't down here.

He climbs up the steps, wondering if Iseul was in the room and Yunho was busy doing something else? He can't come up with anything because there isn't really anything to do up here.

They're still nowhere to be found.

He feels his heart beating out of his chest.

Because he nears their door and Iseul is making those sounds she makes when San makes love to her. Except, she's a little louder this time. Throws in some giggles. At first, San thinks he's dreaming; that there's no way she could be doing this to him right now. 

There's no way. She was his wife.

She would never.

They would never.

Then, the door creaks open from the harsh breeze that comes in through the cracked window of the room. San gets a glimpse of the bed and the sheets are different. Things feel different.

And that's because they are. 

Everything is different, and everything will be different from here on out.

If only San knew that, if only he caught on earlier.

Would've saved his ass from the heartbreak that was about to be catered to him on a silver platter.

The sounds are indeed leaving Iseul's lips, and as soon as San pushes the door open, he almost wished it could have been anybody else if this were literally the circumstances that were meant to find him. If this was going to happen either way, he really wished it was somebody else. Because why is he watching Yunho grip Iseul's hips the way he normally would when she's on top? 

Why is he looking at her the way he is— like she's everything to him, like she holds all the answers he's been looking for, like he.. loves her.

San doesn't even know what to say at first, he doesn't even process this. He just drops his things to the ground, along with Iseul's perfume and the flowers. The thud is enough to make them turn their attention towards the door, immediately pulling on the sheets when Iseul hops off of him.

They look at him in shock.

What was he doing here?

Ironic, San has the same question.

"You two actually can't be serious." He says close to a whisper, a pathetic chuckle leaving his lips because what in the actual hell is going on? "You can't be serious." He repeats, but this time, his tone is laced with disbelief, confusion. Anger. "You can't be serious!" His tone rises.

"W-why are you here? I-I thought you weren't coming home for another day."

"Oh, so that's how you'd be filling in your time while I'm away?" He scoffs angrily. "I should've known, I should've fucking known!" He's yelling now, and he hasn't yelled like this ever. "You couldn't even save me from all this fucking mess?!" He aggressively runs his hand down his face, hands placed on his hips as he paces around. Not even sure where the fuck to look while Yunho and Iseul are scrambling to get themselves together and out of the damn bed.

The damn bed he shares with his wife.

"San— I can—" 

"What the fuck can you explain?!" He grabs the closest thing to him, which happens to be the tiny vase full of fresh lavender that Iseul bought recently and throws it against the wall in pure rage, frustration. "Huh?! What the fuck can you possibly explain, Iseul! Do you think I'm stupid? Do you take me as a dumbass?" He pounds his hand against the wall near the doorway.

He scares himself. 

He has never been this angry.

He has never felt himself feel so different and worked up, almost borderline toxic, in a relationship. It feels so wrong, it feels so unhealthy. Unlike him.

"How long?" He mutters.

"It was just—"

"How long!" He yells again, and it startles Iseul and Yunho.

"A month or so." Maybe he shouldn't have asked. There's so much uncertainty in her tone, she can't even remember the exact time this all began.

It all blended.

It was a blur.

It could've been more. Feels like. Yunho gives her a look and it's obvious.

She's lying.

"I should've known. I should've known. I should've known." San keeps repeating to himself, tears are streaming down his cheeks even though he's more livid than anything.

"I'll just go—"

"No, you stay. I'll go." He almost growls lowly at Yunho.

"San—" Iseul calls for him. All of a sudden. 

"No, don't. Don't call for me because you weren't doing that before. This is it, Iseul. You don't get to call me, you don't get to ask me to do anything. You don't need me! Stick with him since that's what's been happening all along. Aren't I right? You two really deserve each other."

"San." Yunho sighs, slipping into his shirt as San is about to head out of the door. 

"We should really just talk about this—" 

"What the fuck is there to talk about?! What is wrong with the both of you, wasn't that enough of an explanation?" Yunho mistakenly places a hand on his shoulder to try and get him to turn back, but San pushes him with so much force that Yunho stumbles against the drawer and causes a frame to tumble and fall to the ground. "Don't touch me." He glares at Yunho, eyes glazed over as hot tears brim his lids. "Do not touch me ever again. I don't need any explanations, I don't need anything." He swallows the lump in his throat. "I'm done with the both of you." He slips the ring off of his finger and tosses it near the bed, letting it land on the floor as it slips down the sheets. "Have it, Iseul. Take it all. That's what you do best." He is barely able to get out. "I'll come back to grab things when you aren't around."

"San!" She cries for him, slipping on her robe to chase after him. Yunho grabs her by the wrist and tries to stop her, shaking his head as a way to tell her to let it go. She quickly eyes the roses and the perfume near the bed, causing her to snatch her wrist out of his grip. She heads down the stairs and continues to call for San even though he's already in his car and about to pull out of the garage.

She cries as she frustratingly runs her hands through her hair, unsure of how she could try to salvage her marriage.

How could she bring him back?

—END

He checks the time and realizes Iseul won't be around the house right now due to some lab dinner she's attending. He still sees her calendar linked to his and he's close to deleting it, but he needs to grab the rest of his things before he can do so. They haven't really talked about that night because she's good at playing her game. She's tried, and she's tried.

She keeps crying for him, calling for him.

She came back running right after the whole thing. Then, they fought. She ran back to Yunho. 

Came back. 

It makes him so confused and so, so tired to be dancing in circles. He might be dumb for falling for it every time, especially when things clearly haven't changed. Why does he have to fight for a spot with Yunho? 

He was her husband.

He shouldn't have to.

What else could she possibly want from him? 

He was done with this. He was tired, and he was done.

His parents aren't home either [thank god, he can't take another second of them nagging and prying], so he swipes his keys off the counter and leaves with haste. He's trying to avoid a run-in with Iseul because all he wants to do is grab his shit and leave in peace.

He doesn't even know what's gonna happen to the house, he's not even sure if he would want it should she give it up in the end. Every corner is gonna be painted with her face, even Yunho's, when it was meant to be a happy home for two people.

Them.

San sighs heavily as he makes the trek down to the house, which is kinda far but he doesn't mind the drive. It's peaceful, it's relaxing; it calms his nerves. He blasts his music through the speakers, zipping through the highway and the streets before pulling up to the garage. The house is dark and Iseul's car is nowhere to be found. He quickly slips out of the car and unlocks the door, stepping out of his shoes before climbing up the steps to the room. There are some unwashed dishes in the sink and the flowers sitting in the vase have wilted away.

The candle hasn't been replaced with a new one.

The throw blanket on the couch is falling off the edge.

When he gets upstairs, some of Iseul's drawers aren't completely shut. The closet door isn't closed. Her laundry is still unfolded and at the end of the bed they once shared. Sheets are different again, but this time, they're a dull pale baby blue. The extra sheets her mom gifted them when they had first moved in.

Since that night, Iseul hasn't placed flowers in the room. Their pictures are gone.

The shutters remain close. 

All signs of a broken and cold home.

He tries not to pay attention to the feeling settling in his stomach right now— after all, he's on a mission to grab some things and go. He throws a few things into his duffle bag, making sure to grab some extra socks and boxer briefs to last him until his next trip to the house. He's got enough clothes that he could mix and match with so he thinks he's good.

He thinks he's set, and he thinks he managed to slip by unnoticed again.

Except, he hears the front door shut when he heads down the steps. 

"San?" She asks for him softly. He slowly heads down the rest of the stairs and turns the corner to see her standing there. She doesn't look too happy, nor does she look like she's been able to sleep well recently. But, he doesn't think it's fair to put the blame on him for all of that. She did this to them. "Hey."

"I'm done grabbing clothes, I'll be out of your way—" She stops in front of him and he tries to take another step to the side, which was also unsuccessful.

"Wait, why don't you just stay? Aren't you tired of doing this?" He furrows his brows and subtly shakes his head.

"Aren't you, Iseul? I don't know what you want from me."

"San, I'm sorry." Iseul starts to cry to him, making him tear up in return. But, he can't. He's done. He doesn't wanna do this anymore. He deserves better. He's crying because he's exhausted, not because he wants her back or because he misses what he had with her. It's too much of painful memory to even reminisce about. He is just tired. "Please. I'm sorry, I just want you. I don't wanna do this anymore, I— we can fix this, can't we? We can go to counseling and fix this."

"Iseul, no." He pries her off of him, tears streaming down his cheeks. "No, we can't. There isn't anything to fix."

"Don't say that." She almost whines. "I'm sorry, San. Please just— please don't do this. I'm not gonna give this up."

"What makes you think you haven't already? No." He repeats. "You chose that night and you made your decision. You decided to start that whole thing with Yunho, and you decided to let him stay. You let me go, and I don't deserve all of this bullshit, Iseul." He places his hand out to keep his distance when she tries to grab for him once more. "Why can't you stop? Don't you see how fucked up this is?" He cries. "I don't wanna do this anymore. I'm so fucking tired. So please, no. I don't want this, please stop putting me through this." He begs. The tears continue to stain his cheeks even as he licks his lips and swallows dryly. He watches as Iseul sobs into her hands and falls to her knees on the floor, but he has nothing else to say.

Nothing left of him to give.

"San."

"I'm gonna go." He whispers, gaining the courage to step aside her and slip into his shoes, walking out as the pain burns him deep in his chest hearing Iseul continuously sob into her hands. When he plops into the driver's seat, he tosses his duffle bag off to the side and lets out a shaky sigh. He continues to cry to himself, digging his own head into his hands before he gathers himself and turns on the car. He doesn't think he should drive right now, but he just wants to go home and be in his own peace. So, he speeds off; though, the world feels like it's caving in on him.

For a second, San thought he deserved all of this. He felt so fucking sorry for himself because he thought he deserved every bit of the hurt, the betrayal, that came his way. Every time he thinks about it, it slices his wounds open all over again, and he feels sick to his stomach.

The pain burns.

His chest feels tight.

He almost feels like he can't breathe.

Because in the end, he learned the hard way.

Love does not prevail.

Love does not conquer all.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[hsangel64]

࿔📚*:･ crush on the teacher pt. 2 ࿔📚*:･

pairings: abby anderson x teacher fem!reader

synopsis: its date day and it goes way better than abby though

warnings: smut smut smut and more smut

a/n: i hope you enjoy! requests are open!!

after abby got home from her assignment but she was exhausted, they had been raided by seraphites by the FOB and abby had been hit hard. the headache killing her since she got hit and the couple of bruises and scratches on her body made her limp in agony back to her room. she sighed one she sat down and realized she still hadn’t told you about tomorrow. her room was a mess too, part of it wasn’t her fault. manny’s side was 10x worse, sighing she got up from her bed making her way to the sink. seeing the pile of dishes she groans knowing manny isn’t doing them, considering he’s off hooking up with that scientist he’s been talking about. as shes getting started there’s a knock on the door, she walks over thinking of all the people it could possibly be at 10pm. abby opens the door to reveal you in a simple silk robe some slippers and your hair up in a messy bun. her mouth agape she doesn’t even know what to say. you looked gorgeous.

“hey abs, i wanted to check up on you heard you ran into some seraphites.”

“oh um yeah today was rough, killed…a lot. um” there she goes again, a stuttering mess. “do you wanna um come in?” you nodded and abby let you in, looking around the room a little and noticing manny wasn’t there.

“are you alone?”

“um oh yeah manny’s with someone.”

“hmm.” you stayed silent for a second and taking in the room, you haven’t seen her room before and wanted to see all the details. “how are you feeling?” you continued.

“oh yeah im okay just sore, headache and some scratches.” you walked over to abby and put your hands on her face checking the damage.

“here do you have a med kit?” abby nodded going and grabbing the small health kit she had under her bed. you instructed her to sit on the bed as you sat basically on top of her. you grabbed a small rag next to her bed and her water bottle cleaning the big gash on her eyebrow, wiping the dried blood off. she cringes at the feeling and you apologize in a soft whisper of a tone. abby can’t believe you’re this close to her again, her breathing picks up a little and you can almost hear her heart beating out of her chest. you grab the needed supplies to patch up the cut.

“okay you’re all good to go.” you smiled at her and she was already feeling better.

“thank you i appreciate it.” you moved the small hair from her face and smiled.

“of course abs, i would want my date to be in one piece.” she chuckled and you both stared at each other for what felt like forever. you’ve never noticed how pretty her eyes were, the soft blue color they were. not spending too much time on staring you went and packed the supplies you took out and then asked if she had taken any meds.

“no not yet.”

“do you have any pain killers?” she nodded and pointed to the small cabinet by her bed, standing up and grabbing the meds you gave her some and made her take them.

“those should help ease up that headache.” she thanked you and you responded with a small kiss on her forehead.

“okay well its late and i don’t want to keep you from sleeping.” you started to get up and abby grabbed your hand to softly pull you back.

“well- you don’t have to leave now.”

“you gotta rest abs.” abby couldn’t believe was she was going to ask but she felt ballsy.

“could you stay until i fall asleep.” you smiled at her request, you were glad she was getting more comfortable with you. no matter what anyone says she is just a big teddy bear in need of some love.

“yeah of course honey.” abby’s face turned red as you called her honey, hoping this wasn’t a dream.

“lets get you in some pajamas and get you into bed okay?” she nodded and went and grabbed one of her sleep shirts she had lying around. she turned and took her shirt and bra off, seeing her back muscles as she did it. you felt like if you kept looking you’d start drooling. quickly looking away and going to fold the blanket on the couch trying to occupy yourself. she finished changing and your turned back around to see she was just in some boxers and a muscle tee, your eyes widened slightly feeling butterflies in your core. the size of her legs, her arms, just everything. you took a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding and walked back over to her.

“okay lay down okay get all comfy.” she nodded and laid down in bed, you crawled in next to her and placing her head on your lap and playing with her hair. her hair was so soft you felt addicted to the feeling of her hair in your hands. abby didn’t even realize what was happening she was just so tired, the feeling of you combing through her hair was lulling her to sleep. you quickly heard her soft snores and softly pulled away, she whined and turned over. you stopped and soon after you heard her soft snores again indicating she was asleep again. you wrote her a note and then walked back to your room to get ready for bed. gosh this girl was going to be the death of you.

———————————————————————————

abby groaned hearing the door open and close, her body ached but nonetheless she sat up to see what it was.

“bueños dias abby, how was your night?” she groaned feeling the headache come back to her.

“it was fine, my head is killing me.”

“a little birdy told me you had a visitor…” abby’s eyes went wide and her face going red. who the hell told him?

“wh-what no.”

“then how come i know your little girlfriend came to patch you up?” abby groaned and covered herself with her blanket.

“shes not my girlfriend manny- how the fuck did you hear about this anyways.”

“her friend is the girl i have been seeing.” she really wished this wasn’t happening right now.

“whatever helps you sleep, anyways i’ve got to head out i have an assignment, don’t get too crazy!”

“wait wait!” he stopped just outside the door and stuck his head back in.

“can you stay somewhere else tonight…”

“is abby finally…getting some??”

“oh shut the fuck up.” abby pushed him back out the room hearing him laugh all the way down the hall. she groaned and turned back around pressing her back into the door. she had to start fixing up her room, as she was walking to change she saw your note. reading it she blushed at the xoxo by your signature. she sighed and got started. as abby was getting her room ready you had just gotten out of the gym working off the stress of this date. usually you didn’t get too nervous but this time was different, abby was different. its not that you hadn’t been with other girls before its just that abby made you nervous, even if she was stuttering half the time she talked. you had realized she never told you what time you two would be meeting up so you made your way to her room.

abby heard the knock and quickly ran over to answer it, revealing you again. your forehead was glistening with sweat, hair up in a ponytail, small spandex like shorts on and a t shirt that hugged your body. abby was speechless once again.

“hey abs i wanted to come and see what time you wanted to meet up and where!” how could abby forget, she never even told you ugh.

“oh shit right, how’s 6? we can meet here i have some stuff planned here for us. nothing too um fancy…oh and don’t eat dinner ill have uh something for us.”

“okay sounds good abby see you later!” you walked away and abby couldn’t help but look at your butt, shaking her head and shaming herself she went back to her cleaning.

once you got back to your room it was about 4 pm so you had a quick shower and started to get ready. you wanted your life to be as normal as possible so you had asked owen to help make you a vanity with a giant mirror you had found in an old warehouse by the stadium. you had learned how to make most of your makeup and had friends find some hair supplies for you on supply runs. you sat at your vanity in nothing but your silk robe. you were so lucky that your friends found the perfect things for you.

you had finished getting ready and couldn’t for the life of you figure out what you wanted to wear. the time being 5:45 you didn’t want to be late. you were stressed, to say the least. you grabbed the prettiest bra and panties you had, i mean you never know, you gotta be prepared. you put on one of your cute skirts and a simple fitted t-shirt. you had made some chocolate strawberries for abby, you didn’t know what you were thinking this felt so silly but figured not to just waste it. grabbing the small tupperware and rushing out the door.

abby was freaking out, she didn’t know if this was too much or not enough. she had a blanket laid out on the floor by the window, she had tried to make a fancy spread, with a shitty cafeteria steak and mashes potatoes. she wanted them to watch the stars, it felt cheesy but she wanted this date to be the best you’ve ever had. rushing around the room doing last minute things to make everything look good for you. abby had on some jeans and a simple but fancier type t-shirt, she really didn’t have much. whilst freaking out she heard the faithful knock on the door, she knew it was you. taking a deep breath she opened the door.

you were the most nervous you had ever felt on a first date, tapping your foot waiting for abby to open the door. you heard her footsteps walk towards the door and stop for a second before hearing a breath and the door opened. abby noticed you had a little bit more makeup on than usual, your hair was curled and you had one her favorite perfume you wore. you went in for a hug greeting her, the vanilla scent radiating off your body, abby felt addicted she didn’t want to move but you pulled away snapping her back into reality.

“can i come in?”

“right right sorry come in.” walking into the room it was dark with string lights around the railings, you gasped as you saw what she had set up. a blanket laid on the floor with pillows around it, candles around and to plated dinners.

“oh you don’t like it, shit of course not its super cheesy and stupid and i should’ve done-“ you stopped her from going on.

“no abs its perfect no one has ever done this for me.” her face lit up at your words.

“are you sure because i can fix it and do something else-“ you put your hand on her face and she stopped talking.

“abby it’s everything i could’ve asked for.” you rubbed your thumb on her cheek and gave her a small peck on her cheek pulling away and walking towards the blanket sitting down.

“come sit silly! would hate to waste this time we have.” abby was in real deep.

———————————————————————————

you guys had gotten comfortable with each other, you had finished dinner and were just talking about anything and everything. abby had gotten comfortable she wasn’t nervous anymore, she hadn’t stuttered or made a fool of herself. you two were having a really great time. abby got her hands on some wine so you two had loosened up due to the alcohol and gotten closer to each other, psychologically. you had your body laid against her while you two talked, abby had her arms around you running her hands up and down your arms. you couldn’t stop thinking about her arms, how firm they were and how soft her hands felt. the alcohol really bringing out a different side of you.

“do you want to try the strawberries i made for us!.” you jumped up to grab the small tupperware of them. opening the box you grabbed one and fed it to abby. locking eyes you both felt the tension between you two it felt like the time just completely stopped as she took the bite. pulling the strawberry away and taking a bite after her, slowly taking the bite as if you were in some sexy commercial. you closed your eyes as took the bite and softly moaned taking your time to eat it. abby felt vicious almost, seeing you in front of her with your back arched eating the strawberry and the soft moan you let out. she wanted to hear more of where that came from.

“can i please kiss you?” abby said in a hushed tone and you nodded frantically.

“i thought you’d never ask.” abby crashed her lips into yours grabbing your face and bringing you closer to her. she pulled you into her lap, straddling her you grabbed onto her hair and she moaned into your mouth. the kiss was rushed both of you wanting to feel each other. abby grabbed onto your thighs pulling you as close as possible to her chest as she could, wanting to feel you pressed up against her. you placed your hands on her hips where her shirt ended, grabbing the fabric wanting to take it off. pulling away you had whispered a desperate ‘want this off’ and pulled off her shirt. as you two were pulled away she pulled your shirt off as well and going back to kiss you. abby had taken off your bra with one hand and the other holding your thigh. she pulled away to get a good look at you.

“you’re so fucking pretty.” you blushed at the compliment feeling her pull away and start to kiss down your neck. you moaned out feeling her kiss your neck and softly bite your skin. she loved hearing you moan out especially because it was from her doing. abby picked you up and placed you down lightly on the floor, you squeaked at the feeling of being picked up. abby wanted to eat you out, she was determined to make you feel the best you had ever felt. her hands taking your breasts into her hands and massaging them, hearing you whine and start to beg for more. the kisses trailing down to your breasts, she ran her thumb over your nipple making you shutter.

“please abby i want to feel you on me.”

“how baby tell me.” abby did not know how she was being so confident with you, probably the alcohol.

“i want your tongue abby please.” this was the most desperate you had ever felt for someone, abby was making you feel so good even if she hadn’t even done anything.

“tell me where baby.” you whined at her asking, you felt shy and didn’t want to say it out loud.

“come on tell me.” her voice soft, you whined again knowing you’ll have to just say it.

“i want you to eat me out, i want your tongue on me please.” abby felt her core tighten hearing you say that, she didn’t know this would ever be happening. abby kissed down your body worshipping every inch of you until she was face to face with your core. she looked up at you for approval even though you had given her an answer already loud and clear. she slid your skirt down your legs and started to run her thumb up and down your cunt over your panties. you inhaled sharply and arched your back.

“you’re so wet, is it all for me?” you nodded aggressively, and moaned out as she ran her tongue down your cunt tasting you. she moaned into your core loving the way you tasted on her tongue, she was addicted. abby took off your panties and didn’t waste any time to put her tongue on you, running her tongue up and down your cunt starting out slow. you moaned out feeling her tongue slowly make its way down your pussy greedily sucking up all the wetness, her hands making their way to hold your legs up above her head. abby flicked her tongue on your clit loving the way you squirmed underneath her. she started sucking on your clit and you loved it, arching your back and moaning out her name.

“fuck abby it feels so good.” she moaned into you feeling you grip her hair harder. her finger made its way to down to you hole and inserting one finger to start. all that could be heard was slurping from abby and your moans filling the room, you didn’t care who could hear, you wanted abby to know how good she was making you feel.

abby had one goal in mind and it was to make you cum. she got more aggressive with it, licking and sucking all she could almost as if she was making out with your cunt. her jaw was starting to feel sore but she didn’t care. your squirming increased with her speed as you started to feel sensitive and was slightly pushing her head away. she didn’t listen though and wanted you to cum on her mouth. abby swore she could just cum to this.

“abby please don’t stop it feels so fucking good!” abby’s grip tightened on your thighs making you sharply inhale at the slight pain her grip caused but loving the feeling. abby pulled away to focus on her fingers, inserting another and pumping in and out of you. the utterly pornographic sound coming from your cunt just showcasing how wet you were.

“you like that baby?” abby kissed your thighs while so aggressively pumped her fingers inside of you.

“yes s-so so much abs.” abby moved up to kiss you, tasting yourself on her tongue.

“i-im so close abby please.” she kissed you once more and made her way back down to your core, going back to aggressively eating you out to get you to your climax. the feeling of her tongue and finger at the same time get you right to your climax and you’re seeing stars, grabbing at anything you could.

“im gonna cum abby fuck!” you were basically screaming at this point, cumming all over her tongue. she kept going feeling you push her away but that didn’t stop her. feeling tears at the corners of your eyes, you were so sensitive. you had came so hard you felt like you had blacked out.

abby finally pulled away and pulled her fingers out of you, rubbing her hands against your thighs trying to help you calm down from your high. abby’s face completely covered in your cum and her own spit, she wiped her mouth just enough and made her way back up to you. you were trying to catch your breath feeling your legs start to shake from being held up. she started to caress her hand on your cheek.

“are you okay ? i didnt go too far right? do you need anyth-“ you shushed her with your lips, kissing her softly to confirm you were doing more than okay. pulling away you smiled up at her, the high of your climax slowly coming down.

“you’re okay-“

“yes abs im more than okay if anything.”

“how did i do?” you looked at her a little shocked.

“it was amazing abby, like the best i’ve ever felt.”

“oh good i was so worried-“ you put your hand on her cheek, nicely shushing her.

“abby i loved every second of it i promise.” you gave her a peck on the lips and she blushed, going right back to the nervous abby she was before. abby stood up to grab you a wet rag to help you clean yourself up.

“so um do you want to maybe stay the night? its okay if not-“

“were you going to just kick me out?” abby thought she completely fucked this up.

“no no thats not what i meant i just wanted to ask be-“

“abs im kidding- of course ill stay.” you started to put your underwear back on and realized that you didn’t want to wear the same shirt you did to bed.

“do you have a shirt i can borrow?” abby nodded and went to go grab you one of her sleep shirts, she had a lot that were regular tank tops that she wore to bed so she gave you one of those. you threw that on and abby sucked in a breath seeing the side of your boob poking out as if you both didn’t just have sex. abby shook it off and started to clean up the floor.

“do you maybe want to watch a movie? you can choose!” you agreed excitedly running to abby’s dvd collection to see what she has, you went with matilda. this was one of your favorites, you had seen it about a million times. running over to her tv throwing it into the dvd player and joining abby on the bed. abby was sitting up with her legs out so you laid next to her with your head on her chest. abby back to her awkward self felt like she didn’t know if she should say anything to you or leave the night unsaid. before she could even say anything you seemed to be fast asleep, she peeked above you and saw you were completely out. smiling at you falling asleep on her chest, abby was in way deep in love even.

———————————————————————————

a/n: i hope you enjoyed ! i apologize if my smut isn’t amazing- let me know what you think!

[veritas-scribblings]

illegal - @moonwater-microfic - words: 735 | trying my hand at a different pairing cos @deathnguts's moonwater posts keep appearing on my feed | apologies for the essay in the tags | writing this was more fun than I thought it would be | [warnings: self-loathing, some implied internalised homophobia, if teenage boys were werewolves]

In the days leading up to the full moon, Remus feels it in his bones like a thousand hair-thin needles boring into him. The scent that lingers in the hallways. That has invaded the library and spread through the potions lab and lives in the wood and the stone. The scent that beckons to something dark and perversely primal in Remus.

He feels it penetrating his skin. The itch of it travelling through his gut. And sometimes, shamefully, lower and lower. It grows and grows until he feels full, almost bloated with it.

“You right there, mate?”

Remus cringes and grabs his bag and clutches it to his chest with a grip he’s surprised hasn’t crushed it to dust. James, for all his teenage boy-ness, can be annoyingly perceptive. Sometimes he gives Remus this sad, concerned look that implies he knows Remus has been staring where he should damned well not be staring.

Across the Great Hall at the boy with the head of curly black hair who’s always buried in a book. The one that travels with a damned impenetrable attaché that includes one Bartemius Crouch Junior with the (according to Sirius Black) “perfectly punchable face”.

If Remus has learnt anything about Slytherins, it’s that they’re fiercely territorial (and occasionally violent). And none more so than the attaché Regulus comes with, like Regulus is some sort of diplomat. Or prince, even.

Remus knows territorial. He knows it, because the wolf in him feels it in its soul. For his books. For his clothes. For his dormitory. For his friends.

Remus has learnt to channel this. To, for the most part, redirect those unnatural urges that centre themselves around his friends the closer and closer he gets to the full moon.

But those Slytherins. They wear territorial with pride, and Remus just knows that he will never be able to cross the boundaries they’ve so meticulously carved out alive. Or, at least, in one piece with all of his limbs attached where they should be.

“Thought you were going to meet me at the library?” Lily dumps her bag onto the grass next to where James and Sirius are laid ‘soaking up the sun’, according to Sirius.

“The library?” Sirius scoffs. “The library for what?”

“Not you, Black. Not everything’s about you.” Lily rolls her eyes and kicks Remus in the shin when he doesn’t acknowledge her. “Remus. Our study date?”

“Nonsense. I am the gravitational centre of this Earth, I’ll have you know.” Sirius flashes Lily an easy grin that everyone knows will roll off her like water. “Just ask McGonagall. Everything’s about me.”

“You know she was being sardonic when she said that…”

Remus can smell it again coming from across the lake, stronger and more distinct than any other scent around them: vanilla-ish, cinnamon-y and a touch Earthy, nutty. It shoots straight through him and hits him so hard in his groin that he has to pull his bag into his lap with a flush of shame.

Of course it does.

Of course it does.

And of course Regulus is there again surrounded by his friends (he’s always surrounded by his friends). Remus recognises the smell before he recognises the outline of him and the movements of his body that have a decidedly “child of the House Black” beauty and grace to them.

Only, Remus reminds himself, he would never go there. He would never try; he doesn’t need the humiliation.

And he would never break Sirius’s trust, no matter the dreams that plague him around the full moon. The things he does to himself to stave off the hunger when he wakes with every nerve in his body feral and inflamed. Not only because Sirius is a friend—a friend that Remus never, in his wildest imagination, could have ever possibly thought he’d be able to dream into reality—but also because Sirius has a reckless, terrifying fierceness about him. Sirius Black does not bear darkness or traitors lightly. And he’s made that more than clear to the world.

Remus just doesn’t know what’s worse. That he likes a boy. That the coming of the full moon fills him with filthy, lustful thoughts and urges for said boy. That said boy is Regulus Black.

Or that it’s really just a matter of time before his friends find out that his condition is not just a fun rollick in the forest once a month…

…but is something darker and much, much worse…

…and Remus finds himself alone again.

[lonely-ey3s]

With All My Love : Chapter 12 | love letters - part one

Chapter 12 : Love Letters pt. 1

Pairings: joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Word count: 12.6k

Chapter Summary: Joel prepares to ask you a very important question today that he's been preparing to ask you for the last few weeks. Will you pick up on what's going on with the shift of energy and routine or will you be utterly surprised?

Chapter warnings: Chapter warnings: SMUT (18+ MDNI), public-ish sex, unprotected piv, anxiety, flashbacks of traumatic memories (for both reader and joel), mentions of PTSD anxiety, FLUFF, joel being an absolute lover, soft!joel, use of Spanish but with translations, lying to partner (justified), use of y/n, parental abandonment, domestic abuse/assault, some angst?, if i missed any lmk

A/N: enjoy my loves ❣️

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics 

Main Masterlist

Saturday, October 23rd

Joel had tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep due to the amount of nerves and excitement he was feeling. Today was it. 

He had everything planned to the T, this wasn’t going to be some spontaneous “Will You Marry Me?” in the middle of nowhere. No, you deserved more than that. He put so much thought and effort into this that Maria teased him for the absolute attention to detail he had possessed in this process. 

Sarah had been involved with everything behind the scenes, the same with Maria and Tommy. Elena even helped by distracting you and asking if you’d go get your nails done with her and Maria, her treat. You had no idea it was deliberate, you didn’t even think to assume something was up, Joel told you she wanted to get to know you both more and that was her love language. 

You had no idea of the plan; everything had been kept so airtight that when Joel mentioned he had plans this weekend, you just thought after the week you had gone through with Reggie’s passing and your PTSD that Joel was just giving you extra attention. 

Your alarm went off around 6 am to just get up, however, you snoozed it and rolled over, falling back asleep. 

Joel turned on his side and watched you sleep, with eyes full of love and adoration. He watched how your lips would curl involuntarily into a small smile as you slept, how you’d hum when you were dreaming, and Levi was right, you did a cute little leg kick when you were deep in sleep. Joel laid there and thought of every possible scenario he wanted to have with you. 

How it would be to hear a baby cry in the morning to wake up instead of that god-awful alarm tone. 

How beautiful you’d be with his baby in your womb, how you’d glow. He wanted that more than anything, to give you a baby. 

He thought about what your wedding might be. Would you want something big or small and intimate? He couldn’t wait to become your husband and you would be his wife. His wife… that had a ring to it. 

He thought about how he wanted to give you everything you ever needed in this world, he thrived in taking care of you, but there was something about vowing to do it for the rest of his days that put a jolt of joy into him, vowing to you, swearing his life to you. 

Since you had come into his life, he looked at everything from a completely different angle. Things that used to feel like he was suffocating or drowning felt warm and refreshing. He was cold, reserved, and just moving through life before you, trying to get to the next day. He now experiences the day and is always conscious of being in the moment. He wants to remember everything from the way you laughed at something so simple to the smile you gave when you looked at a pretty flower on the sidewalk. 

You stirred in your sleep and crunched your nose sighing deeply as you adjusted to lay closer to Joel.

He smiled and softly traced his fingers up your arm and then back down, feeling your soft skin on his fingertips. 

He whispered as he kissed your temple, “Mi corazón late por ti…” (My heart beats for you…) 

You snuggled closer to him and smiled softly, taking in a deep breath, keeping your eyes closed, voice soft with sleep, “Say more things in Spanish…” you giggled. 

He chuckled, and looked at you, continuing to trace his hands up and down your skin, “Tienes una sonrisa hermosa...” (You have a beautiful smile.)

You blushed and hid your face for a moment in the pillow. 

Joel kissed your cheek, “¿Puedo ver tus ojos?” (May I see your eyes) 

You shyly looked up at him, smiling, “¿Cómo dices? Brown eyes?” 

He laid his head down on his pillow while keeping eyes on you, “Ojos marrones…” he smiled. 

You nodded, “Amo tus grandes ojos marrones…” (I love your big brown eyes)

Joel chuckled softly and blushed, “Gracias, mi vida…”

He moved his hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, studying the freckles on your cheeks, memorizing the constellations.

You blushed under his gaze. You looked at his features, gently putting your hand on his chest, then looking at his lips before looking up at his eyes, he was doing the same, and you blushed a little more. 

He wasted not a moment, putting your chin in his grasp and pulling you towards his lips, kissing you gently once before pulling back for a moment, “I’m so in love with you…” before crashing his lips onto yours, kissing you more deeply and passionately. 

He pulled you closer by taking you by your waist, pulling you against him. You put your leg over his waist and maneuvered yourself to straddle him, never leaving his lips. 

He sat up with you on his lap and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him, meeting it with the other hand that was gently kneading your other hip, grinding your hips slowly onto his cock, devouring your lips. 

You comb through his hair gently, pulling him closer gently, breathing heavily and heated as his lips move from your lips to your neck, chest, and shoulder, feverishly littering you with his kisses. 

You giggle when his stubble runs across a part of your neck more sensitive than the rest, making him grin against your skin, “Ticklish there?” 

You nodded, smiling, “Seems so…” you giggled and leaned back a little to look a him, “Don’t get any ideas…” you smiled and put your hand on his chest to hold him back, eyes narrowing. 

He grinned and grabbed the back of your knees and moved so now you were on your back, making you giggle as he went to kiss and tickle that spot, also moving his hands to tickle your sides, making you laugh and squirm as you tried to push him off, “Joel! Stop I’m gonna pee!” you giggled under him. 

He chuckled which turned into a laugh when you said that and he pulled away, smiling as he hovered over you. 

You slowly stopped giggling and looked up at him, smiling lovingly. He moved down to kiss you when Sarah knocked on the door, making him sigh and lean his head against your shoulder, groaning quietly. 

“I’m making breakfast! Wake up!” she shouted then ran downstairs to the kitchen.

You chuckled, “Wonder what the special occasion is…” you smiled and put your hand on his cheek, pulling him to your lips, kissing him gently, whispering against his lips, “Whatever it is, it can wait 5 minutes, yeah?” you gently kissed him again, biting his bottom lip and pulling on it softly. 

He groaned and nodded, settling between your legs, cock rock hard, leaking precum as he quickly pulled his boxers down and moved your panties to the side, “Oh baby 5 minutes is being generous… te he estado deseando toda la mañana…” (I’ve wanted you all morning…) he growled before sinking deep into you, growling as he leaned back in to kiss you deeply as you moaned against his lips. 

—

Ok, it was more like 10 minutes, but he couldn’t get enough of you this morning and you wondered what had gotten into him. 

You came downstairs to Sarah cooking a whole spread of breakfast items. She had pancakes, bacon, toast, and eggs ready to go on plates to serve yourself at the counter. 

You looked around and then came up and kissed her head as she was turning over pancakes, “This all looks amazing, what’s the occasion?” you chuckled. 

She smiled and looked back at you, “Does there need to be an occasion for me to cook you guys breakfast?” 

You held your hands up defensively and shook your head, “No ma’am…” 

Joel came down shortly after dressed in a cream-colored henley that was a quarter button-up, dark wash jeans, and his nice boots. “Smells great baby girl, thank you!” 

He came up and kissed Sarah’s cheek then came up and put his hand on the small of your back, kissing your shoulder softly. 

You blushed and loaded some food onto your plate before going to sit at the table, waiting for the others to join you before eating a bite. 

Joel got a cup of coffee for you and set it by your plate, kissing your head softly before grabbing his plate and cup of coffee and sitting at the table. Sarah came a moment after with her plate and glass of orange juice. 

The three of you ate together for the next hour. It became a routine every Saturday to at least eat one meal together, catch up on the week, and plan for the one following so that you all were on the same page, however, today’s felt different and you couldn’t put your finger on why. You felt like something was going on that you didn’t know about as you kept catching Joel wink at Sarah or Sarah make a statement that might mean one thing to you but to Joel, it meant something entirely different. 

You got up to clean your plate when the garage door opened and in walked Tommy and Maria, “Somethin’ smells good!” Tommy bellowed from the garage before walking up the steps into the kitchen. 

“I cooked breakfast! There’s some leftover on the counter, help yourselves.” Sarah looked back at the two of them smiling. 

It wasn’t unusual for Tommy and Maria to show up out of nowhere, they did surprise visits constantly, but they usually kept to themselves on Saturdays as they knew that was a day for you three to spend together after a crazy week. 

You rinsed off your plate, Maria came by you as she piled some pancakes on her plate, “Hey, you wanna go dress shopping with me for a few hours? I have that job interview on Monday and need something to wear…” she smiled and nudged you gently. 

You looked up at her “Uhm, I think Joel had plans for us today…” you smiled. 

Joel stood up and smiled, “My plans aren’t til later baby, you can go shoppin’ if you want…” he came over and kissed your cheek, putting his plate in the sink to wash it. 

You looked at him and then Maria, “Oh, ok. Yeah, sure, wanna go after this?” you smiled. 

She nodded, “Yeah, what time should I have her back here?” she looked at Joel and took a bite of some bacon. 

“4 pm at the latest?” he smiled and walked away drying his hands on a paper towel and then putting it into the trash. 

You smiled, “Do I need to change for these plans or is this dress ok to wear?” you had on a new floral sun dress you had found while thrifting last week. One that Joel mentioned he wanted to see you in as soon as possible. You thought today would be a good day to wear it considering you guys are going out. 

He smiled brightly, “You look breathtaking in anything, anything will do for where we are going…” he came over and pecked your lips. 

You blushed and nodded then cleared your throat, “I’ll be home by 4 then…” you looked away shyly and filled your mug up with some more coffee. 

Reader’s POV

Maria finished up her breakfast and then you two left.

You went to the mall first and she dragged you to a department store to pick out a few pencil skirts, dress shirts, formal dresses, and other things like cardigans, sweaters, and shoes.

You were sitting in the dressing room in the waiting area when she came out to show you the outfit she had put together. It was some corduroy brown pants with a white button-down and then a sweater over it, very comfy but yet professional in your opinion. She turned to look at herself in the mirror, “Thoughts?” she asked smiling and turning to look at the angles. 

You were lost in thought, messing with a loose thread on the chair you were sitting on. 

“Y/N?” Maria chuckled and turned towards you.  

You snapped out of your thought and looked up at her, “Hmm?” 

She smiled, “Where’s your mind?” 

You bit your lip and looked down at the thread, “Just in my head… don’t mind me.” you sighed softly then looked up and put on a smile, “I like that outfit, maybe you could add a cute belt? Wear those cute flats you got the other week?” you suggested trying to change the subject. 

Maria nodded, agreeing with your suggestions, “I like that idea, I’ll look for a belt.” she  turned back towards the mirror and then bit the inside of her cheek, “What’s goin’ on in that head?” 

You shook your head, “Nothin’ just… somethin’ feels odd about today, but I can’t put my finger on it – like I feel like I’m missin’ something or forgot somethin’...” your foot began to bounce, an anxiety tick you’d developed subconsciously. 

Maria looked back at you, you were starting to pick up on the energy that everyone was most likely exuding today from the excitement of what was going to happen. She shrugged, “Hmm, I’m sure it’s nothing, just an off day?” she smiled at you, trying to keep you at bay. 

You nodded and took a breath, smiling softly, “You’re right, it’s probably nothing.” you cleared your throat and sat up to focus more, “Have we tried on that pencil skirt yet?” 

She shook her head and started heading back to her changing room, “That’s next…” she closed the door. 

You cleared your throat, “How are things going with you and Tommy?” 

“Good! We had a conversation the other day about how we both feel about marriage, which was surprising.” she came out with the pencil skirt on, keeping the top the same. 

You chuckled lightly, “Why’s that surprising? Did you not think he was the marriage type of person?” you looked at her skirt, “I like that with maybe the button down you have on under, but the sweater is too much.” 

She nodded and took the sweater off, leaving the button down on, she began tucking it into the skirt, “I don’t know, he just seems so comfortable where we are, never thought he would talk about that so soon you know?” she looked at herself in the mirror after finishing the tucking, “You’re right, it was too much. Do you think heels would look good or flats?” she arched her foot up to give the illusion of wearing a heel. 

You adjusted in your seat, “I think heels help with the definition of the pencil skirt, flats would make it look too blah…” you smiled, “Wait, what do you mean so soon? You guys have been flirting longer than Joel and I have, hell, you guys are ahead in more ways than I think we are. Doesn’t shock me he’s brought it up.” 

She nodded and turned towards you, popping her hip out, “Yeah, I guess.” you bit her lip and grinned, “Have you and Joel had that talk yet?” 

You let out a small chuckle, “We’ve brushed over it a couple of times but I’ve always known Joel to eventually want to settle down, you know? It’s just something we’ve not needed to ‘talk’ about, you know?” you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, looking down shyly, “It’s just something that I think he’ll ask one day and I’ll gladly say yes to.” you blushed and smiled down as you messed with the hem of your dress before clearing your throat and looking back at her, “But I don’t think that’s happening any time soon. I think he doesn’t want to ask too soon, he’s always worried about moving too fast, you know?” you softly chuckled, rolling your eyes jokingly.

Maria nodded and returned to the dressing room, smiling a little too widely to be around you, she spoke from behind the curtain, “Yeah. He does seem to worry about that.” she paused “But I think we can both agree, Joel seems a bit more domestic than Tommy.” she said, hearing you hum in agreement. 

She pulled her phone out and texted Joel: 

M: How’s it going so far? Still need her out til just after 4 pm?

J: Yes please, I’ll call when you can head here. 

She changed and came out in another skirt, this one lighter gray, and changed her blouse. 

“This color or the other one I tried?” she came to look in the mirror. 

You looked up from your phone and smiled softly, “I like this one with the other blouse and maybe a jacket?” 

She nodded, “Wanna go find me one while I try a few more things?” 

You stood and nodded, “Sure thing.” then walked to go find some jackets that would match. 

As you were browsing you couldn’t help but overhear a couple in the aisle over arguing, borderline fighting. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. You said that I could pick out an outfit, so I did. I didn’t know that it wasn’t on sale, it was in the sale rack, so I just assumed…” she pleaded. 

You heard a man lower his tone and then a small yelp as he grabbed onto her arm tightly, “Oh you assumed? I don’t fucking care, put it back or I’ll make you and it won’t be very fun...” he threatened through clenched teeth. 

She nodded fearfully and he shoved her towards the rack, making her stumble over her feet. 

He scoffed, “You’re so fucking clumsy.” he mocked her like he hadn’t just shoved her almost into the damn rack.  

You zoned out for a moment, thinking back to about a year ago when a similar scenario happened between you and Charlie. 

2 years ago

The waitress had just left with your orders and you knew the second she left and his fake smile dropped you had done something wrong. 

“Did I say that you could order fries with your burger?” he leaned forward as he growled at you from across a booth. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking then quickly responding, voice meek and quiet, “I’m sorry, she asked and you didn’t say no so I assumed it was ok…” You looked down to avoid eye contact, beginning to pick at your cuticle nervously. 

“You assumed? So I guess you’ll just assume that I’ll be paying extra for the fries? You assumed that too, right?” he bit out through clenched teeth, gripping the edge of the table. 

You felt people’s eyes on the two of you, watching as he dragged you through the mud with his tongue, begging for someone to say something, offer a hand, or help, but no one said a word. 

They left you in that booth to be torn apart by that monster. 

You swallowed, “I… Charlie, I’m sorry. I’ll have her send them back when she gets here.” you didn’t dare look up, too afraid to say or do anything more than keep apologizing. 

“No. It’s fine, you’re fat ass can have the damn fries. Shouldn’t have expected anything less from a pig.” he scoffed and leaned back, tracking a swig of the beer he had. 

You kept your head down, continuing to pick at your cuticle, leg bouncing up and down anxiously, trying to focus on the soft sound of the music playing overhead. 

About 10 minutes went by before she returned with your food, you looked up and put on a fake smile, “Excuse me, I’m so sorry, I misunderstood you when you asked if I wanted fries, could you please remove them from our bill and my order? I’m going to barely be able to finish the burger… let alone fries too.” 

She smiled and nodded, “Of course hun, just give me a sec to fix that for you.” she took your plate and walked away, coming back less than a minute later with just your burger. 

Your stomach growled at the absence of the fries. You would have really loved them in addition, as he had you on a hunger strike for the last 3 days, but you didn’t want Charlie paying for something he didn’t permit you to add onto the bill. You smiled softly and thanked her. 

She walked away and he scoffed looking at you, “You’re pathetic.” 

You kept your head down and ate the burger as quickly as you could, not only due to the hunger you were experiencing but if he had to wait for you so you both could leave, you don’t know what else would happen on top of the punishment you were most likely going to get due to the first incident. 

Before you could make it back out to the car after you both had finished he had smacked you across the face in the parking lot and shoved you up against the door of his truck, grabbing you with his hand by your jaw, “You ever pull that shit again and I’ll fucking kill you, do you understand?” 

You looked at him with eyes filled with nothing but fear, nodding quickly, “Yes… I understand.” tears started to form in your eyes. 

He let you go but didn’t get into the car until he backhanded you across the face again, leaving your cheeks red and stinging. 

You snapped out of it when you heard a small sound of a slap landing on her skin, which could only mean one thing with how he was speaking to her. 

You peeked over and saw her touch her cheek, tears falling as she felt the sting. He crowded her space, his fist balled, muttering “You’re such a fucking bitch…”

You knew if he wasn’t in public this would be a lot worse. 

That was all you needed. 

In times like these, when this had happened to you, you prayed someone would say or do something, offer to help you, stand up to Charlie. It meant more for someone else to say something than the person being abused, bystanders meant something. 

You made your way to the front of the store and cleared your throat for the attendant’s attention at the counter, “Hi, could you please put in a call to the police? I just witnessed a man hitting his girlfriend, threatening her, and she has other indicators of further abuse…” you spoke softly and calmly. 

The attendant nodded and pulled the phone out quickly, calling. You leaned against the counter to face the exit and texted Maria:

Y/N: Something came up, they don’t have any jackets here that’ll match, we can go somewhere else. I’m at the front when you’re ready.”

Maria came out a few minutes later and came up to you, “Hey, what’s going on?” 

You kept your eye on the couple and explained what you witnessed. She nodded and paid for her things before coming to stand by you. 

The cops showed up less than 5 minutes after that and came up to the store attendant, “We got a call about a domestic abuse and assault allegation?” 

You cleared your throat and stuck out your hand for him to shake, “Hi, I had the store call. I witnessed the altercation and would love to give you my statement.” you smiled softly. 

He nodded and shook your hand, then pulled out his notepad to gather information. 

While he gathered your statement the other officer went over to talk to the couple, he pulled the man aside and began questioning him separately. Instantly, the man was on the defense, making stupid excuses and lies.

You explained that you had witnessed him hit her and threaten her. You mentioned you were a domestic abuse survivor yourself and know the signs. You also noted to him that she had bruises on her arm which you knew meant this had been happening for some time, indicating that this is a pattern of behavior. 

The store attendant cleared her throat and noted that they found the altercation on the security cameras, further supporting your statement. 

He nodded and had the attendant send the evidence to his office via email then looked at you, clearing his throat, “Mind if we take down your contact information in case we need you in any court proceedings?” 

You shook your head, “Not at all, I’m happy to help.” you gave him your information then looked at him, confused, “Wait, you’re arresting him, it’s that easy?” 

He looked at you sadly, understanding you hadn’t had the same treatment done for you, “Here in Texas we take any form of abuse seriously, I’m sorry if you didn’t get the same treatment where you were, ma’am.” 

You nodded and chuckled, “That’s refreshing to know.” you teared up and looked down, “You have no idea how much relief that brings me to know this woman has a chance to get out.” 

The cop nodded and held out his hand, “We’ll call you if we need anything else, but you’re free to go. We’ll handle it from here.”

You looked up and shook his hand, thanking him.

He walked away and you let out a shaky breath, watching them cuff the guy and the girl looked relieved as she spoke to the officer that took your statement. 

Maria touched your arm softly, “Hey, you ok?” 

You nodded, “Yeah… I just… I don’t know why but it just hit me, I’ll never deal with that with Joel.” you had a few tears fall, “That part of my life is over… thank god...” you let out a small laugh. 

Maria smiled and squeezed your arm, “He loves you so much and for the time you were with Charlie, I’m sure Joel will make up tenfold.�� 

You looked at her and nodded, chuckling as you wiped tears coming down your cheeks. 

You cleared your throat after a few moments of composing yourself, “Let’s go find you a suit jacket, yeah?”

She nodded and took your arm, “How does the thrift store down the street sound?” 

You perked up, “Now you’re speakin’ my language…”

–

She knew that taking you to the thrift store would not only be for her but you’d find things for yourself as well. If you knew any better you’d pick up on how she knew this would keep you busy which was her goal today with you. Keep you out of the house and away from Joel while he puts everything together. You spent more than an hour there, you found some suit jackets for Maria, all looked amazing on her. 

She also found some really cute belts to go with some of the outfits and some really cute bags as well. 

You found yourself a few outfits as well in case you had some interviews coming up, there were some very business options, and some more business causal options, but you found things that brought you such joy. 

You also snuck over and found Joel some nice shirts and even found him some cowboy boots in his size that you couldn’t help but grab. You couldn’t wait to get home and show him. Maybe he could wear them out tonight as they’d go great with the outfit he had on today. 

You left and went to another mall plaza across town as Maria had said she wanted to find some more options plus you both loved shopping, and you had time to do whatever you wanted as you saw it was only 2 pm. 

After a few more stores and hours of shopping, she found a few options for the interview and then some more for if she got the job. You were at the checkout when you saw the time, it was 5 minutes to 4 pm. 

‘Shit, we lost track of time.’

You pulled out your phone and sent a text to Joel:

Y/N: Hey cowboy, I’m going to be a little late getting home, lost track of time. We are just checking out and then should be home within the next 20 minutes. I love you. <3

There were those three dots shortly after as he was typing a response then a message popped up from him: 

J: No worries, sweetheart. Just take your time and get here safely. I love you too. 

You helped her carry all the bags to her car, packing them into the trunk and packing the back seat with the remaining.  

You were driving out of the parking lot when Maria’s phone started to ring from her purse, you pulled it out and saw it was Joel, “Do you want me to answer for you since you’re driving?” you asked looking over at her. 

She nodded, “Yeah, could you?” she looked to the left and then right to pull out of the lot.

You answered the call, putting it on speaker, “Hey sweetheart, we are about 15 minutes away, we just left the mall.” 

Joel smiled at you answering, everything was going to plan, and he chuckled, “Uh, yeah, about that... I went and ran a few errands with Tommy… and the truck broke down, can you and Maria come and grab us? A tow truck is coming to get the truck to take it to the shop. You and I will just grab a ride home from them to our plans?” 

Maria nodded and looked at you, mouthing ‘Where are they?’ 

“Oh shoot, yeah, we can. Where are you guys?” you asked with slight concern in your voice. 

He tsked his tongue, acting confused, “Uhm, stuck somewhere rural, we took a back road trying to avoid traffic. I’ll send Maria a pin of our location so she can put it into her phone, yeah?” 

You nodded and looked at Maria, she nodded. “Yeah, that works. We will just see you soon.” 

He smiled, nodding, “I’ll see you soon, mi vida. Drive safe, take your time, no rush.” 

You smiled and nodded, “We will. I love you.” you said softly. 

He softly answered back, “I love you too.” 

You hung up the phone and then pushed the address he had texted Maria, “Damn, 26 minutes away, what the hell were they doing?” you chuckled and handed the phone to her to help navigate the way. 

She chuckled and bit her cheek to stop herself from grinning, “I have no idea, guess we’ll find out soon enough…” and then turned right at the next light to head that way. 

Joel’s POV 

After you and Maria left, it was like a green light went off. Tommy and Sarah dropped what they were doing and ran into the garage. They got the supplies he had gathered and hid over the last few weeks, pulling them out of hiding.

He had gathered fancy pillows, nicer blankets, and fairy lights, as well as small candles to create an ambiance. 

Sarah ran upstairs and grabbed a box of photos and the other supplies she had hidden in her room that she and Joel made together over the last few days when you weren’t around, these three had a game plan, they were eager to execute. 

There were a few errands they still needed to run and do before they were to set up at the location. Joel had to run to a florist to get some flowers he had ordered and then also needed to run to the local diner you both loved to eat at when you’d go out to run errands or just for some good comfort food as he was also going to set up a picnic. 

Tommy packed everything into the truck and then came in, “We have everything?” he said slightly out of breath. 

Joel pulled out his phone and looked through the list he had made, checking things off as he went down, then nodded his head, “Ring and gift, then that’s it. I’ll meet ya’ll in the truck.” he put his phone in his pocket then ran upstairs while Tommy and Sarah went out to get into the truck. 

He got into the closet and pulled out a big box hiding behind a pile of clothes that he had wrapped in some brown kraft paper that had ‘Mi Amor’ addressed in pen on it, and wrapped with a nice deep green bow that Sarah had helped him tie. 

He then knelt and pulled the lockbox out from under the bed, entering in the combo of 0720, pulling out the ring box, smiling brightly as he opened it up once more to look at it and teared up. For a moment he stopped and was thinking about how you’re going to react to all of this, he couldn’t wait to make you his fiance and then wife. 

He locked the lockbox up and slid it back under the bed, then grabbed the box on the bed, put the ring box in his pocket, and headed down to the truck to join Tommy and Sarah. As he walked down the stairs he thought about how in this house, that bedroom, not too many years ago, he never would have thought a ring would be in his pocket and he would be proposing to the love of his life today. 

—

14 years ago

Sarah was no more than 6 months old, Joel had come back home from work after getting a call from Rachelle that he needed home, and that it was an emergency. 

He rushed through the front door, panicking as he ran upstairs, “Rachelle, what’s wrong? Where’s Sara-” he stopped seeing her packing her bags in the bedroom, moving back and forth from the closet and dresser to the suitcases on the bed. 

“I’m leaving. I can’t do this anymore Joel,” she said as he shoved some clothes into the duffle bag she had opened on the bed. 

Joel came over, “What do you mean? I… I don’t understand.” he started to walk back and forth with her. 

She stayed quiet, continuing to gather her things. 

Joel sighed, frustrated, “Will you stop and talk to me?” he moved in front of her, trying to get her attention. 

She maneuvered her way around him, “There’s nothing to talk about. I just needed you home so Sarah wasn’t alone.” she grabbed a bag from inside the closet that contained her sentimental items. 

“Wait- what do you mean? You… you can’t leave. You can’t leave Sarah… she needs you. I… I need you.” he followed her as she walked back from the closet to the bed. 

She scoffed, “Joel, Sarah will be fine. She takes formula and is at the age where she doesn’t need a mother…” She shook her head as she put the back in the suitcase, “...and I… I never wanted this life Joel… you did.” she rolled her eyes and chuckled coldly, “I didn’t want this but you did and I was convinced that I could make it work, that if I tried, I could do it, but I… I don’t want this. I do not want to be a mother, I had dreams.” she looked at him, eyes numb, “...I’m leaving to pursue them.” 

Joel looked at her and searched her eyes, “Rachelle… Sarah will need you all her life. She… we are a family. I love you, I’m sure what’s going on is somethin’ like postpartum depression, like what the doctor suggested. Please don’t do this…” he tried to take her hand but she pulled away from him and turned to walk down the hall to get some other things. 

Joel stood there for a second, his heart racing, mind feeling like it was moving a million miles a minute, he snapped out of it hearing Sarah cry in her crib. 

Rachelle walked past her nursey and sighed, sounding annoyed by the crying, “I… I can’t. Joel?” 

Joel walked into the nursery and picked up Sarah, cradling her softly, “Shh it’s ok baby girl. Daddy’s got you.” he softly rubbed her back. 

He held her close to him and rocked back and forth, humming softly as he watched Rachelle walk in and out of the bedroom, his heart slowly breaking. 

He knew Rachelle was struggling and that she was having a hard time bonding with Sarah, but he didn’t think this would ever happen. He did everything he could to help her, to support her. He worked extra jobs so that they could afford child care every other day, but working longer hours meant he wasn’t there as much when she did have Sarah by herself. It felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

Sarah drifted back to sleep so he gently put her back in the crib and walked out, gently closing the door enough to leave a small crack. 

“What can I do or say to make you stay? I’ll do anything. Tell me, I’ll make it happen.” he said as he came into the bedroom. 

“Joel, you’re not hearing me. I’m not staying.” she closed her suitcase and started to zip it up. 

“Rachelle, you can’t leave…” he spoke softly, trying to stay calm, “Sarah needs a mom. She needs you. I thought we said we would figure this out, we would do this together… we made her that promise in that hospital bed, you remember?” he came up stood behind her, “Please…” he pleaded.

She took a breath and shook her head, tears falling, “Promises can be broken.” she turned around and looked at him, “Especially when it’s what’s best for everyone involved.” 

Joel shook his head and tears started to form, he went past frustrated to disbelief. Something snapped when she said that. 

He scoffed and jutted his jaw, “How is this best for everyone? You’re leavin’ us for your benefit!” he shouted, pointing at her. 

She nodded, “Yes. I am. I’ve made my peace with that.” she said emotionless. 

Joel took a breath and turned around, chuckling in anger, “I… is there someone else?”  

She remained quiet for a moment then sighed, “What if there is? It’s not like we are… married or anything… we are more like co-parents than partners since Sarah was born, Joel.” she said quietly, making any excuse she could come up with. 

Joel turned around and began chuckling coldly, blown away, feeling his anger brewing up, “Are you kidding me? How in your right mind do you figure that Rachelle?” he chuckled, “I… I’m sorry, but me fucking you almost every other night and us talking about potentially getting married the other week doesn’t say ‘co-parents’ to me!?” he began to raise his voice. 

She looked down, avoiding his eyes, “I… I’m sorry if you’re feeling confused.” 

Joel chuckled, “Confused? Confused doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feelin’ right now!” he slapped his hands against the side of his legs in defeat and shook his head, “I… I don’t even know where all this is comin’ from. You never gave me any indication this wasn’t what you wanted! You said you were scared, but that’s what everyone says when they get pregnant by accident! Other than that, you’d never said anything, at least to me!?” he began processing things, concluding that no matter what he said or did, it was never good enough for her. Tears threatened to escape down his cheeks. 

She stood there, staring at the ground, feeling nothing about what he was saying, she was disconnected long before now. 

“What… what about your parents? Do they want anything to do with her if you leave because if you’re done, that’s it, you’re done, and they are too. I won’t subject Sarah to that life of half her family not loving her fully.” he said bluntly. “…you don’t get to show up one day and be the Disneyland mom that abandoned her kid and then comes to her senses years later and tries to be involved.” he pointed at her, narrowing his eyes, tears falling now, “You don’t get to abandon our daughter and then come back as nothing happened, that’s not fair to her.” he ground his teeth, anger festering.

Rachelle nodded and sighed like she was tired of the conversation, “That’s fair. I won’t come back.” she picked up her suitcase and duffle bag and began to walk out of the bedroom. 

Joel shook his head and began breathing heavily, then followed after her, “What do I tell her huh? One day, she’ll ask where her mom is, what do I tell her? Do I break her heart and tell her that mommy never wanted her? Tell her that mom packed her bags and left us?” he bit at her as she walked down the stairs in front of him. 

“You tell her whatever you think is best Joel, I really don’t care.” she shook her head, determined to get out of the door. 

Joel let out a breath, shocked by her response, and stopped walking, standing at the bottom of the stairs as she touched the front door knob, “So that’s it? Not even going to tell her goodbye?” 

She looked back at him and clenched her jaw, shaking her head, “Goodbyes are for when you’ll see the person again, goodbyes aren’t forever. This is forever. Like you said, if I walk out this door I’m done.” she looked back at the door and opened it, “I wish you nothing but the best Joel. For both you and Sarah.” she softly said before walking out the door and quietly closing it leaving Joel standing there, alone, confused and heartbroken. 

—

The house and his life had a warmth to it now, Rachelle left a coldness to it when she left, sucked all the life and joy out of him for a long time that night when she left. 

He barely recognized the person he was when she left them. Joel wished he could tell that young man at the bottom of the stairs, crying as he held his baby girl in his arms, feeling alone and abandoned, ‘Just wait, someone will come along to make you the happiest man alive.’ 

If there was one thing he would change about the relationship you two had, it would be that, for both of your sakes, you both met sooner. You wouldn’t have been with Charlie and he would have had more time with you. 

Maria had been sending him small updates over the next couple hours, letting him know how you were doing, what they were doing, just keeping him informed of the mood of the day as something everyone was concerned with was your mental health so close after Reggie’s funeral. To everyone’s surprise, you were doing better than expected, which is all they could ask for. 

They had run to the florist and got white roses and baby breath to decorate with and then ran to the diner about an hour before you were due to show up and got your meals from the restaurant, putting them in a cute wicker picnic basket Joel had found at a thrift store he went to with Sarah to gather things to decorate with knowing how much you loved the mall details and also loved little things that had character from the thrift stores. 

The three of them went to that lookout that Joel talked about in those messages when you were away at Delta 42. He told you that you’d look at the universe while he’d hold his. In his mind, there was no better place to propose to you. 

Joel parked by a tree that overlooked the city below and Tommy started to hang those fairy lights above. Sarah opened the tailgate and started helping Joel fix everything, laying out blankets and pillows to create a cozy space. 

Joel then hopped out of the truck's bed, and he and Sarah started lining up battery-operated tea lights and placing about a hundred around the truck on the ground. 

Sarah looked up at him, “How are you feeling?” she smiled softly. 

“I’m feeling a bit nervous, but like an excited nervous, you know?” he chuckled lightly. 

She nodded and chuckled with him, “I still can’t believe you’re asking her to marry you, it’s crazy that a year ago it was just you and me.” she looked down at the container she had and pulled out photos she had gathered of you and Joel, the three of you, and some of you and Sarah throughout the months, starting to wrap them around the tree as she had put them on a long string for this purpose. 

Joel nodded and clicked his tongue, “I never thought I’d ever get married, if I’m being honest. I don’t think Tommy or I ever thought we’d find anyone to take on our asses.” he softly laughed. 

Sarah chuckled, “I guess it took a special kind of girl for you both to find, right?” she anchored the photos and then stood up and looked back at her dad who was chuckling and nodding. 

She dusted her hands off and then looked around, the sun was starting to set and everything looked so beautiful. She could tell how much thought and effort Joel put into this and knew you’d feel so special by all of this, “It looks great Dad…” 

She came over and hugged him, “I’m so happy for you. I love you.” 

He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head, “I love you too baby girl. Thank you for all your help and support with this.” 

She smiled and then looked at the time, “Time to give Maria the call?” she winked. 

He chuckled and nodded, then pulled out his phone and dialed her number. 

You watched out the window as Maria drove, noticing that you had no idea where you were going. 

“Jeez, these two really went out to the middle of nowhere…” you chuckled. 

You began driving up a dirt path and became confused, looking around you, muttering under your breath, ‘What the hell…’ 

Maria continued to drive, keeping her eyes peeled out, and looked around as she drove. She approached the top of the hill and smiled as she saw Tommy and Sarah standing on the side of the road, they waved and smiled. 

She pulled off to the side and opened the door, getting out, you followed and looked around, “Hey… where’s Joel?” 

Sarah smiled and nodded up the road, “He’s just trying to fix something before the tow truck comes, he’s just up the path a little further.” 

You looked at them all and nodded, “I see. I’ll go check on him, and see if I can help.” you smiled softly and started making your way up the path. 

Tommy smiled and cleared his throat when you were far enough away not to hear, “Like a mouse falling for the cheese in a trap…” he chuckled. 

Maria and Sarah started to tear up as you kept walking. 

—

When you got the the top of the hill you saw the truck and Joel sitting on the edge of the bed, you giggled, “Joel?” you started to walk up to him, “What? What is all this?” 

He immediately jumped off the bed and started walking towards you, smiling brightly, “Surprise darlin’!” 

You chuckled and blushed, the amount of effort that went into all the details you could see was mind-blowing and made your heart race, butterflies erupting in your stomach. 

He met you a little more than halfway up the path, and pecked your lips lightly, taking your hand in his to lead you to the truck, “Come ‘ere…” 

You smiled as you followed him, wrapping your hand around his bicep as you walked with him, “I… I am so confused what’s the occasion?” 

He kept walking and when you two got to the truck and lifted you to sit on the edge of the bed by your waist, making you giggle softly, “Can’t I just surprise you with grand and elaborate things like this?” 

You looked down at him and gently took his face in your hands and leaned down, softly kissing him a few times before pulling back, “You can… it just… still knocks me out of orbit that you love me this much sometimes…” you blushed and gently caressed his cheek. 

He took a soft breath in and then hopped up to sit next to you, “Well, I do have one more surprise so get back into orbit…” he winked and chuckled. 

You smiled and looked at him, “What do you mean one more surprise?” 

He leaned back and pulled the box that was wrapped out from behind him, “This is for you, mi vida…” he looked at you lovingly. 

You gasped softly and bit your lip, trying to keep tears from falling, “Joel… what is this? What…” you shook your head, “Why?” 

He smiled softly, “The only ‘why’ there ever will be is because I love you…” he leaned over and gently kissed your cheek, “Now open it, baby…” 

You looked at him then at the box, then back up at him, “I… I just…” you chuckled, starting to tear the wrapping paper carefully, to reveal a box, you smiled, and opened the box which had a backpack in it and then a letter on top of it saying, “Open the backpack first then me <3…”

You set the letter to the side of you and looked at Joel, “What is this?” you pulled the backpack out of the box and gently put the box aside, then looked for the zipper. It looked like a backpack that opened somewhat like a suitcase so you laid it flat and opened it up to find a Nikon camera, multiple lenses, an SD card case, and a few other accessories, “Joel… I…” you shook your head, smiling widely, feeling overwhelmed by emotion, you teared up, “This cost a fortune baby… I…” 

He scooted closer to you and gently cupped your cheek, “Before you say anything else let me just say a few things…” he gently caressed your cheek, “You deserve this. I don’t want to hear how expensive it was or how you can’t repay me… this is me taking care and supporting you and your dreams.” he kissed your forehead then nose and chuckled and when you did, tears streaming down your face.

He continued, “I already booked you with Wendy, she’s contracted with you. She also has a few other friends who want to hire you.” he tucked a strand behind your ear, “I want you to do something that you love and you love taking photos, this…” he looked down at the bag, “This is the least I can do is help you get what you need to get started, my love.” 

You shook your head and chuckled, smiling widely, then leaned in and captured his lips in a deep and slow kiss, putting your hand on his chest softly. 

He kissed you a few times before gently pulling back and pecking your lips, you whispered, “Thank you…” you leaned your forehead against him, keeping your eyes closed. 

He leaned back in and kissed you once more, you could feel his heart pounding in his chest as your hand rested there. Yours was also pounding but for an entirely different reason, you smiled against his lips and then gasped excitedly, “Oh, the letter!” you giggled and turned around to grab the envelope, carefully opening it. 

You pulled out the letter and unfolded it, smiling softly at him and then at the paper as you began to read: 

Mi amor, 

I think that continuing to write each other letters is a great idea and would love to do it with you. I, too, miss the excitement and thrill of seeing an envelope from you. Sarah will tell you that on days that I didn’t hear from you for quite some time, and before we had Skype to talk to each other– I’d sit there every morning and watch for the mailman to come only just to run out to the mailbox the second he left to look for your letters. 

I was smitten with you so early on now that I look back on it. I think within the 2nd or 3rd letter, I had developed feelings for you. I wanted nothing more than to protect you, to take care of you. I couldn’t believe that you felt the same way when we finally admitted it– and here we are. 

I constantly think back to the first time I heard your voice when Tommy and Maria had Skyped each other that one time and you and Z came in giggling. I sat on that bed and fell head over fuckin’ heels in love with you the second I realized it was your voice. I have never felt so sure about someone in my life. After Rachelle– I kept my heart very guarded and under a lot of protection, never feeling that someone would come along and completely sweep me off my feet, I never believed in love after she left. 

But you swept me off my feet. You made me believe in love again. 

You instantly made everything brighter, made everything warmer, and feel more alive. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve brought to our lives, and my heart. 

But–- I can try to make it up to you, make you as happy as you make me. I want to spend my life with you. I want to take care of you. I want to support you. I want to give you everything you’ve given me- peace, love, and happiness for the rest of our days. I've never known a peace like the one I have when I'm with you, mi vida. 

Not too long ago, I made you a promise that one day I’d marry you, and I’d like to make good on that promise today. 

With all my love,

(hopefully your fiance) Joel

You moved the letter down into your lap after reading the last sentence and found him on one knee in front of you. Instantly your eyes were misty with tears as they began to fall, softly letting out a chuckle. 

He smiled lovingly, his eyes clouded with tears and cheeks rosy, holding up a ring box, nervously letting out a shaky breath before softly speaking your name, “Will you marry me?” 

You put your fingers over your mouth as you begin to quietly giggle, met his eyes, nodding frantically, and let out a soft chuckle as tears continue to fall down your cheeks, speechless.

You put the letter to the side of you and quickly slid down and off the tailgate of the truck, meeting him on his knee, taking his face in yours gently, smiling and giggling, nodding again and whispering “Yes…” as you brought your lips to his in a searing passionate kiss. 

He chuckled against your lips and kissed you back, putting his hand on your cheek as well, pulling back after a few kisses, “Yes?” he smiled against your lips, clarifying. 

You chuckled, which turned into a giggle, “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you.” you gently caressed his cheeks with your thumbs, looking into his eyes, you both smiling brightly. 

He gently took your left hand and pulled his gaze back, with shaking hands as he was so nervous and excited, took the ring out of the box and put it onto your ring finger, it fit perfectly. 

You looked down at your hand and saw the ring, “Joel this is… it’s beautiful.” you touched the ring with your other hand, fixing it to be straight. 

“It’s been in my family for a couple of generations… it only felt right to make you my wife with it.” he gently took your left and hand brought it to his lips, kissing it. 

Wife. His wife. That would be a thought and title you’d never tire of hearing him refer to you as. 

You blushed and looked at him as he held your hand against his lips, your smile growing, “I love you… I love you so much…” You touched his cheek gently with your left hand and brought your lips to his, slowly and deeply kissing him. 

He put his hands on your waist and slowly stood with you, wrapping his arm around you to pull you close, against him, continuing to kiss you deeply. 

After a few moments you pulled back to look at him but then looked past his shoulder, something catching your attention, seeing someone in the distance with what you think is a camera, you chuckled nervously, “Honey, who’s that?”

Joel looked behind him and smiled then waved his hand over, beckoning them to come to you guys, “I hired someone to capture this moment for you…” he looked at you then a young man came jogging up. 

“Congratulations!” he smiled brightly, shaking Joel’s hand. 

You looked at Joel and teared up, “You thought about that too?” you smiled softly.

He looked at you and then shyly to the ground, “I wanted this to be perfect… the smallest details mattered and I know how much you love having things like this documented.” he then looked up at you and kissed your temple. 

The young man smiled and cleared his throat softly, “My name is Eddie, it’s so lovely to meet you. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you.” he took your hand and shook it, smiling softly. “I was just wondering if I could take a few close-ups of the ring. And then if you want, I can gather some of you both?” 

You nodded hearing some of what he said, feeling completely overwhelmed. You chuckled, “Sorry, I’m still in shock. You just tell me where to be and what to do.” 

He nodded and let out a light laugh, then captured some photos of the ring, some with Joel’s hand holding yours, some with your hand on his chest, and some back in the ring box. 

While he was taking some photos of the truck and scene, you stepped away somewhat with Joel, completely in your own little world, you looked up at him, still in his arms, “I can’t believe all of this, I… I don’t even think I’ve seen half of the details quite yet. How… how long have you been planning this?” you combed his hair back softly. 

He held you close by wrapping his arm around your waist and having his other hand splayed against your hip, rubbing it softly, “Officially… I got the ring at the beginning of the month but I’ve been putting the plan together since we got home from that dinner we went to.” he rubbed his nose against yours softly. 

You smiled and looked up into his eyes, blushing, biting your bottom lip, “You’re going to be my husband…” 

He chuckled softly and nodded before whispering, “And you’re going to be my wife…” then capturing your lips gently and kissing you deeply, beginning to tangle his tongue with yours. 

Eddie turned around and captured some photos of you two talking then a few of you kissing each other. He cleared his throat softly, making you and Joel shyly pull away. 

You hid your face by hiding in his shoulder. Joel chuckled and looked at Eddie, who chuckled as well and came closer. 

 “Alright you two love birds, I’m going to leave you to enjoy the moment, I’ll get you these photos within the week.” he put his lens cap on the camera. 

You turned around and smiled, “Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me to have this captured. I’m so excited to see your work.” you moved forward and hugged him softly. 

He smiled and hugged you back, then pulled back and chuckled, “Congrats again. Can’t wait to see the wedding.” he winked.

You went back and settled against Joel as he pulled you in by wrapping his arms around you from behind and kissing your shoulder softly, you blushed, “We can’t either.” 

He smiled and nodded, “Ya’ll have a good night.” he began walking down the hill where you had come from. 

You smiled and looked at the truck then saw the photos wrapped around the tree and unwrapped yourself from his arms, walking up to take a closer look, studying each one, smiling at all the memories captured. 

Joel smiled watching you before he got into the bed of the truck, and opened up the picnic basket, “You hungry sweetheart?” 

You turned around and bit your lip, hiding your grin, “Starving!” you got up into the bed of the truck and sat next to him, putting the blanket he was under, over your lap as well. 

He pulled out the food he had ordered, “Thought the occasion called for something old fashioned and reliable.” he handed you a styrofoam box and then opened his as he opened yours, both had your favorite sandwiches and salads from the diner called ‘Franny’s’. 

You hummed and kissed his cheek, “Exactly what I was craving… thank you, cowboy.”

He nodded and leaned over, kissing your temple. 

You two began eating in silence for a few minutes, then you covered your mouth as you chewed, “You said this ring was in your family… how many generations does it go back?” you then leaned your head against his shoulder and looked at the ring sparkle as the fairy lights above you hit it. 

Joel ate the last bite of his sandwich before he nodded, “It goes back 3 generations, we will be the 4th.” 

You smiled, “Does this mean one of our kids gets it when they grow up? Sarah’s partner for her?”

He chuckled and shook his head, “No one gets it unless you want to give it up or I replace it.” he softly took your hand in his and tangled your fingers with his. 

You nodded and stayed silent for a moment, then giggled, “Oh shoot, this means you beat Tommy to it!” 

He joined you in chuckling and nodded, “Indeed I did…” 

You smiled softly and put your food aside then wrapped your around his bicep as he continued to eat, “You know, what’s funny is Maria and I just talked about the concept of marriage with you two today while she was trying outfits on.” you rubbed your thumb absentmindedly against his arm, looking at the view of the city slowly starting to light up as the sunset. 

“Yeah? Tommy’s talkin’ about marriage?” he hummed as he took a bite of his salad. 

You nodded and smiled, “Maybe we’ll have a double wedding…” you teased. 

Joel shook his head and chuckled, “We are not having a double wedding, my love. You’re havin’ your own damn day...” he leaned over and kissed your head. 

You smiled and blushed, nodding, “Understood.” 

“Big or small wedding?” Joel said after a few moments of silence. 

You hummed, “Define big?” 

He chuckled and leaned you both back, laying against the pillows as it started to get darker, “I think like everyone at the barbeque is big…” 

You nodded, “Big then. I want every one of those people there.” you smiled and let his arm wrap around you, moving your head to lay on his chest, hearing his heart beat at a steady rhythm. 

“What about you, what would you like?” you said softly. 

“I want a big one, everyone there that’s supported us.” he kissed the top of your head, “That or we elope with just the two of us, two witnesses and Sarah… no in-between.” he chuckled. 

You giggled, “Elope?” you moved your head to look up at him, “Goodness, you just put a ring on my finger, slow down Romeo…” you joked. 

He looked down at you and licked his lips as he looked at yours, then moved slightly, enough to move so he had access to your lips, “Can’t blame me for wanting you to be my wife sooner than later, can you?” he leaned in and captured your lips in a slow deep kiss. 

You blushed and cupped his cheek, kissing him back, gently pulling back, “No, I can’t.” you bit your lip, “I like being called your wife, has a nice ring to it.” 

He smirked and gently nudged your nose with his, “Yeah? Mrs. Miller, my wife, has a nice ring to it?” he hovered over your lips, teasing you. 

You blushed a deep shade of red and nodded, humming, “Just like calling you my husband has the same sweet ring to it.” you reached up for his lips, only for him to pull back and look down at you with eyes dark and full of lust. 

“Call me that again…” he looked at your lips, hungry. 

You grinned and took your hand that was cupping his cheek and ran it slowly down his chest, then pulled his belt loops gently, teasing him back in any way you could, you took your time and said sultry and slowly, “My husband…” 

He growled and leaned down, capturing your lips in his, kissing you deeply and slowly, both of you started to breathe heavily and excitedly. He trailed his hand down your body and brought your dress up your thighs, moving down to kiss your neck and shoulder, “Can you take this dress off for me baby?” he said against your skin, lightly biting the skin on your collarbone. 

You gasped and let out a soft moan before nodding and sitting up a little, pulling the bow that kept the top part tight and then sliding the straps off your shoulder, looking at Joel as you did this, biting your lip shyly, “Can I have my fiance help me with this part?” 

Joel sat up and kissed your shoulder as he gently put his fingers on the straps and pulled them down your body. You wore no bra so your nipples instantly perked from the chill in the air that surrounded you now. 

He continued to push it down your chest and torso, getting to your hips, he pulled his lips from your skin and looked up into your eyes, “Lay back, mi vida…” he said breathlessly.

You slowly lay down on your back and arched your back a little to accentuate your breasts when he had you lift your hips to take your dress off fully, blushing, leaning up onto your elbows, “Your turn…” 

Joel bit his lip and stared at yours as he unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, “God you’re so beautiful…” he couldn’t help but get in between your legs and connect his lips to yours in a hurried heated kiss, pushing you to lay flat on your back. 

Your hands moved to his belt as you kissed him, tangling your tongue with his as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, to bring you closer.

He moved his lips to your jaw and then neck as your fingers pulled at his belt buckle, eventually working that to open and then unbuttoning and zipping his jeans and eagerly tugging his pants and boxers down his ass and midway down his thighs, gasping as you felt his length press up against your core, which he realized was bare, no panties, which he would have remembered if he took any off, he pulled back and kissed up your jaw, “Dime mi vida, ¿me estoy volviendo loca o no usaste bragas hoy?” (Tell me mi vida, am I going crazy or did you not wear any panties today?) he said with a strained, horse voice. 

You smirked and leaned up, kissing him once slowly and deeply then sucking on his bottom lip and pulling it as you disconnected and laid back down against the pillow and kissed his chest, trailing kisses up his neck, “No te estás volviendo loco, mi amor…” (You’re not going crazy)

He let out a deep groan and his eyes rolled back as he smirked, letting out a deep chuckle, “Mmm, you’ll be the death of me with how naughty you are, querida…” he began to grind himself through your folds, holding himself steady in between your bodies. 

You carded your fingers through the thick locks of his hair and held him against your skin as he began sucking love bites into your chest. 

After spending sufficient time marking what was his he pulled back and looked up at you, “Come ‘ere…” he leaned down and captured your lips with his, kissing you deeply and with much love and passion. He kicked his boots off of his feet and discarded his pants as well, before he lined himself at your entrance and went to push in when he pulled back, making you moan softly. 

He grinned against your lips, making you move your lips to kiss his jaw and neck, “Baby, please…” you begged, “I want you…” you gently started sucking love bites into his neck, near his pulse point, grinding your hips down to try and slip him into you with how he was perched at your entrance. 

He grunted once you started marking his neck, “Oh f-fuck…” his skin prickled with goosebumps at the sensation of your lips against his neck. 

He swallowed and gave in, slowly burying himself deep into you, making you inhale sharply, moaning, “Joel…” gripping onto his shoulder and hair, “Fuck you’re deep…” 

He stopped when he was fully in and cupped your cheek, “Eyes on me…” he panted, “Keep your eyes on me mi vida…” he put his forehead gently against yours and gripped hips gently, beginning to thrust himself in and out of you, slowly, softly grunting and groaning. 

You smiled and moaned, softly confessing, “The second you and I are married…” you gasped at a change of angle as he opened up your pelvis by putting his hand under your knee and pushing it up, cursing under your breath, lip quivering at the burst of pleasure you were feeling from this angle. 

He grinned, “Keep going, the second we’re married, what do you want my love?” he cooed as he started to slowly sped up his pace, grunting through clenched teeth. 

You panted and chuckled, “F-fuck… I…” your mind began to feel like mush as he was beating against that soft spot deep within, you began to talk in gibberish, feeling the warmth of your release starting to gather deep in your core. 

He leaned down and kissed your pulse point, “Tell me baby… talk to me…” he kissed your neck then softly nibbled on your earlobe before saying lowly, “What can I give you when I’m your husband?” 

You gripped his shoulder and held onto his hair, tugging gently as that built your climax up quickly, you arched your back and panted quickly, “Oh fuck, oh fuck… don’t stop…” you pleaded, biting your lip, whimpering. 

He gently nibbled your jawline and growled, “Mmm fuck… that’s a good girl, cum on my cock…” he felt you begin to tighten around him, he gripped onto your leg tighter to hold you there, and took his other hand, gliding it up your body to grip your nipple between his thumb and finger and gently pulling towards him. 

The coil deep within snapped and your head went back as your body arched off the bed of the truck, moaning loudly as you came around his cock, pussy pulsing and clenching as waves crashed down over you. 

Joel grinned and praised you, “That’s a good girl, you feel so good when you cum around my cock…” he kissed your chin and throat when your head was back, trailing his nose down your chest before taking one of your nipples between his lips and sucking it gently. 

You panted, chest heaving up and down as you came down from your high, combing your fingers through his hair, mumbling, “God you’re so good to me, taking care of me…” you closed your eyes and swallowed, feeling like you were floating as your orgasm settled down. 

Joel pulled away from your breast with a pop and came to meet your lips, kissing you deeply and slowly, keeping a slow but deep rhythm of his cock inside you, humming as he pulled back after a few moments of devouring your lips, “Can you tell me now what you want, mi amor?” he kissed your chin gently, panting as he started to speed up his movements. 

You looked at him and cupped his cheek, pulling him to kiss your lips in a searing passionate kiss before barely pulling back and whispering against his lips, “Quiero que me pongas un bebe…” (I want you to put a baby in me) you panted against his lips, moaning as he kissed your cervix with a deep thrust he did in response to your confession. 

He grinned against your lips, “No me tientes (Don’t tempt me), my love, I’ll do it tonight if you want it that bad.” he grunted and began to speed up his hips into your core, gripping onto your hip and leg tightly. 

You moaned as he continued to crash into you, continuing to kiss that spot and your cervix over and over, inhaling sharply, eyes rolling back in pleasure, “Don’t stop, god please… f-fuck!” you cried out in sweet pleasure, starting to grind your hips against his to create more friction in an attempt to break that coil that kept teasing you like it was going to snap. 

He grunted and he moved his hand to press against the back window of the truck to steady himself over you, “Fuck baby, fuck…” he panted, sweat lightly coating his skin as he groaned in pleasure feeling you suck him deep into your core, “God… fuck…” his eyebrows furrowed. He shut his eyes for a moment, feeling that deep pull behind his navel, before opening his eyes and smiling down at you, moving his hand off the truck and cupping your cheek, “Fuck I love you, I can’t wait to marry you… see you walkin’ down that aisle in a gorgeous dress…” he groaned feeling a warmth start to move up his spine, “I can’t wait to vow my life to you… to take care of you for the rest of our days…” he panted. His hips became erratic as he softly whispered weakly as he laid his forehead against yours, “No puedo esperar a ser tu marido y tú, mi esposa.” (I can't wait to be your husband and you, my wife.)

You leaned up and whispered, “Come for me, my love.” then reached up and kissed him deeply as he whimpered against your lips, cumming deep into you, hips stuttering, his knees giving out, chest heaving. 

He pulled back from your lips and cried out as you rocked your hips a little, milking him for everything he could give you, “F-fuck…” he leaned his head against your shoulder and chuckled softly, “God I love you…” he kissed your shoulder weakly and turned to kiss your neck. 

You softly giggled and traced your fingers on his back, tracing love letters into his skin with your fingertips as he lay against your body, humming softly. 

After a few moments, he slowly sat himself up and hissed as he took himself out of your warm core, and laid beside you, chest still heaving but slower, you leaned your head against his chest and looked up at the sky, the stars now visible and shining brightly. 

He looked up at the sky with you and after a few moments you both saw a shooting star shoot across the night sky, you gasped softly, giggling excitedly, “Quick- make a wish!” 

Joel pulled you closer in his arms and softly traced his thumb up and down your back, leaning his lips down to kiss your head, saying softly, “Don’t need a wish baby, I’ve got everything I could ever wish for right here…” 

Previous chapter - Next chapter

taglist:  @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen @pedritosgirl2000

[salty-autistic-writer]

Little Big Clingy Octopus

For @bucktommyfluffebruary, Day 4: "Clingy Boyfriends"

The break-up lasted an agonising long week. 

A week filled with baking. Crying. Aggressively knocking at doors until the neighbours looked out of their windows, shaking their heads. More baking. Crying. Screaming at each other. Crying together. Passing out in Tommy’s bed, exhausted. Drained of energy and words. Yeah. It’s been a ride.

Words were said. Boundaries were set. Questions were asked and answered. Issues, secrets, nightmares, dreams, fears and hopes were uncovered.

Once the storm passes, their world recovers and they start moving back towards each other. Carefully first, almost shyly, all too aware of the fragility of a moment. But soon enough, they fall into a familiar, yet new, rhythm and stop walking on eggshells.

In the aftermath, Tommy starts to ask for things he likes or wants with a confidence that wasn’t there before. He's not holding back anymore. It makes Buck feel warm inside. Everything is … softer now. Now and then, their hearts still remember the storm and remember old fears, but all the talking they missed in the early stages of their fast-moving relationship, they do now.

They are in bed, their bodies entangled in every way possible, warm soft skin pressed together. Tommy’s head rests on Buck’s arm, his eyes closed. The morning sun catches in his tousled curls, making them shine golden. His lips are parted slightly and his breaths even. Seems like he dozed off again.

Buck watches Tommy and he could stay here forever, but spots on his body start to tingle uncomfortably and he will need the toilet soon. Not right now though. Not while Tommy is clinging to him like …

“Like an octopus,” Buck mutters absently, chuckling as the picture of Tommy with eight arms forms in his mind.

“Hmmm?” Tommy stirs, raising his head from Buck’s arm and blinking sleepily.

“You remind me of an octopus when you’re like that. Did you know they have three hearts?”

“Oh. Wow. Must hurt so bad if they get broken,” Tommy mumbles. Then grimaces. “Sorry.”

“Are you alright?” Buck asks, noticing Tommy tensing slightly.

Tommy sighs. “Yeah. I just … had some dreams tonight. Of the bad kind.”

“Oh.” Buck swallows, thinking of his own nightmares. They still smell vaguely like lemon loaf and loneliness. He strokes down the curve of Tommy’s back.  “Don’t listen to them. This is real.”

Tommy smiles weakly. “Well. Me sometimes being an idiot is real too.”

“You’re my idiot. And I’m yours. Idiot for idiot.”

Tommy raises a brow. “Hm. I can live with being an idiot if I’m not the only one in the room, I guess.”

He flinches and chuckles when Buck pinches his side, snuggling even closer. Buck hums and buries his nose in Tommy’s hair, closing his eyes for a moment. Just feeling. Floating. Basking in warmth.

“This is not too much, right?” Tommy mutters, a hint of old insecurity in his voice. “You’d tell me if I’m too clingy?”

“You’ll never be too much. I have to pee though,” Buck says regretfully. “But I will come back.”

Tommy makes a sad noise. “What if I don’t want to let go?”

Buck grins. “My little big clingy octopus. You don’t have to. Hold on.”

“What - No. Evan, that’s not a good idea.”

“Come on. I want to try.”

“I have to show up at work tomorrow, Evan. I can’t break my back!”

“I won’t let you fall. What do you think all that weightlifting is for? Just hold on, okay? On three. One, two, three. See?”

(AO3 Link)

[xetlynn]

Arcane imagines- Claggor

Old Friends, pt. two

[arcane] [main page]

Part two to [this]

You felt as if your body was buzzing all over. Almost as if it was rejecting whatever was happening currently. You were experiencing and seeing things you’ve never thought was possible. But even during everything you were still on the lookout for your little brother.

Panicking and crying out his name, throat tickling by the straining being done to your vocal chords. Fear filled your entire being. Until finally it all comes to a halting stop and your torso shoots up from a lying position. Gasping for air as if you had been underwater for a long period of time.

Your hand flung to your chest, clenching- almost clawing at it as your heart beats quickly. Once your vision unblurs you’re scanning the area. Taking in the scenery. “Ekko?” Your voice was feeble, small but not hoarse like you were expecting it to be. It was gentle. More than normal. Shakily getting up from a rather large mattress.

“Ekko?” A whisper this time. Of course there wasn’t a response in return but still you searched around the room as if he was hiding. Reminding you back to when Powder and him were young, forcing you to search for them. Only this time you weren’t positively sure he was to be found. “Oh, you’re finally up!” A deep but oddly familiar voice speaks.

You jump, grabbing onto a candle holder and pointing it over to whoever just scared the shit out of you. Threatening them with the metal stick, glared and panicked eyes staring at the figure in the doorway. Steps get closer, unsheathing the person. “You gonna hit me with a candle holder, sweetheart?” He comes into view and instantaneously you feel your heart drop along with the metal that clanged against the wooden floor.

Without even thinking your body moved on its own, running over to him and pushing yourself onto him. Arms flinging around him. “Claggor?” Tears built in your eyes as you cling onto him for dear life. He grunts against your tight grip, hugging you back nonetheless. “You okay? Have another one of those weird nightmares?”

His colossal size hand rubs up and down the small of your back. You whimper in response, not able to speak. He stays silent though, figuring you need to just hold onto him. But once he hears that little sniffle and his shoulder beginning to wet he attempts to pull you back.

The strength of your hold doesn’t let him though. “You were dead.” You hiccup. And Claggor believes he understands. “That type of dream, hm?” He takes your arms, forcing you to let him go and he makes you look at him in the face. “I’m here, mkay? I’m not going anywhere for a long time.” He assures you.

You take in his features. How strong his jawline is and the fact that he’s not wearing his goggles. This isn’t YOUR Claggor. He’s Claggor, somehow. But it can’t be the same one from all those years ago. You examine him, eyes wandering all over his face. “You- you’re so pretty.” You murmur, your small hands compared to his grab onto his face on either side.

Turning his head side to side. He smiles at your antics, letting you do whatever you please. “I’m pretty?” He repeats and you hum out a tiny “yes.” He chuckles, you were practically on your tiptoes as you do this. He’s incredibly tall. Almost a giant compared to you. “You had quite a glow up.” You comment, hands now trailing downward to his arms, squeezing his biceps.

This time earning a full on laugh from the man. You pause momentarily to glance over at his face. A twitch of your lips going upward, it’s been so long since you’ve heard that laugh. “Very large…” You say mainly to yourself but he hears. “You’re silly, but as much as I hate to cut this short, you need to go get ready. We have to go meet Pow and the others at The Last Drop.” He pecks your forehead before standing up straight.

You furrow your eyebrows at the name of the bar you haven’t heard in what felt like forever. “I’ll go make us some coffee while you get yourself dressed.” He tells you before leaving the room and shutting the door behind himself. You stand there idly, not knowing exactly what drawer is yours. Or even what’s happening at this moment.

You head to the first dresser in the room that's about a foot shorter than yourself. Where multiple picture frames sit, pictures of you and Claggor wearing nice, neat clothing. Smiling happily and holding onto one another. Another picture beside that one where you sit atop his lap in a white lace dress.

You look down at your left hand that adores a single silver band. “Married?” You gawk at the simple but beautiful wedding band before looking back up at the pictures. Multiple group photos with Powder, Mylo and Ekko. No Violet?

There’s even one with Silco? What the hell is this universe?

You snap out of it, remembering that he had said you have to be somewhere. You try to think where you’d put clothing. The third drawer? Pulling it open and luckily on the first try you were right. You take out a pair of pants and a regular shirt. Not knowing exactly what to put on.

You turn around and spot a mirror nailed onto the wall. Your face scrunches, not recognizing who you’re looking at. Stepping closer to it. Your hand touches your weirdly unscarred face. Eyebags gone and you look… healthy? Your skin seemed to be less pale. Were you taller?

A few knocks are heard at the door and you snap your head over. It creaks open just slightly. “You okay in here? Taking a bit longer than normal.” He snickers, coming in and placing down a mug filled with roasted goodness. “Oh, sorry. Just a bit out of it.” You smile, crinkling your eyes. He takes a sip of his own mug, waving you off.

“You’re fine sweetheart, some dreams mess you up.” He shrugs and as he stays standing there the two of you just stare at one another. “You gonna change?” He asks, pressing his lips into a thin line. “With you in here?” You defensively question.

“Sweetheart? I’ve seen you naked plenty of times. What’s different now?” He raises a brow and your face grows warm. How stupid of you, in this universe the two of you are married. “R-right. Um, can you close your eyes? I’m feeling a little… self conscious this morning.” You lie and his face softens but does as asked. Closing his eyes for you.

You let out a sigh of relief. Roughly taking off your pajamas before shuffling on clean ones. “Okay, done!” You huff out, carrying the dirty pajamas in one of your hands. “Awesome.” He comes over to you, grabbing the laundry from you.

•••

As you’re walking through Zaun you’re amazed by how bright and happy looking everything is. Instead of the darkness and fight people went through back home. Your home.

Your hand fit nicely in your husbands as you enter the bar. The energy was different from when you were a teenager. Sneaking into the bar to see what was happening. “Hey lovebirds!” A voice booms and you feel like you were going to cry already. “Vander!” You smile, letting go of Claggor’s hand.

“How are you doing, [Name]?” He asks whilst making a drink and you beam. “I’m good, rough morning but nonetheless good. How are you?” You sit down at the bar. To him you were acting as if you hadn’t seen one another in months when in reality it had only been a few days. For you, it had been what felt like an eternity.

“I’m alright,” He chuckles, peering back to your husband who shrugs his shoulders, his hand going to your hip and laying there. An action that causes you to tense up, gazing up at him. Relaxing and smiling at him. He does the same in return. “Is uh… Is Benzo around?” You anxiously ask, hoping that he’s not dead in this universe as well.

“Ye-” “Am I around? Acting like I’ve died since the last time you’ve seen me!” Your face drops and you spin around, almost falling off as you do so. Jumping off the chair to pull him into a hug.

“Oof! Woah there!” He pats your back, letting out a small laugh while doing so. “You and your brother sure are acting weird today.” He comments and you let him go, gripping onto his shoulders. “Where’s Ekko?” You spit out.

•••

And now you’re with him, standing where your home would be in your guys’ universe. Empty, showing no signs of life. “I can’t believe you said that to her.” You grimace and he nudges you. “It wasn’t on purpose.” He defends himself, causing you to laugh. “I know but you do not have a way with words. Like at all.” You bare your teeth.

“And you’re married in this universe. That’s crazy.” He changes the subject to which you roll your eyes. Looking down at the ring on your finger. Fidgeting with it with your thumb. “Yeah…” You trail off.

“Is it weird? For you?” He asks and you tilt your head. “All of this is weird, Ekko.”

“No I know, I just. Powder or Jinx whatever is still alive. I never truly experienced her actual death. You experienced Claggors. And to see him alive? How does it feel?”

You stay quiet momentarily, chewing at your bottom lip as you truly think about what he’s asking. “It’s strange. Hearing his voice- a deeper version at that. Seeing what he would’ve grown into. What we would’ve grown into.” You blink away tears harshly. “That this is never possible where we come from. That the last time I ever saw him was dead against a wall with Mylo on the other side of me. Somehow I lived.” You avert his gaze that focused on you as you spoke.

“I- I hate this as it’s a reminder that this isn’t mine. But I love it, selfishly because I can have him here. I can love him here, proudly and loudly. Not having to grip onto a pair of goggles whenever I want to see him. I can just go… see him.” You overly explain to him as a singular tear falls down your left eye.

“You don’t plan on leaving with Heimerdinger and I, do you?” He quietly asks and you look up at him. “I couldn’t do that to you.” You answer him truthfully.

“But if I told you I think you should stay. Would you?” The both of you sit down against the large wall. Your silence was an answer within its own but he repeats himself. “Are you telling me I should stay?”

“I think you deserve to be selfish for once.” He wraps an arm around your shoulder and you lean into him. “I’ll think about it.” You rasp, closing your eyes.

[soluversworld]

Pardonnez-moi, Monsieur!- Solivan brugmansia x Yan!G.N Reader! (Part 6!) Final (Rushed)-(Sfw!)

The kid at the back is a 18+ visual novel Minors don’t interact!-(new tws)

Words: 10000

Genre: Yandere-(Self aware yandere won the poll)

(Reader is G.N)-(This part is Sfw!)

Summary: You’ve become consumed by your obsession with Solivan Brugmansia. What started as innocent curiosity quickly spiraled into a fixation. He started it and you began to stalk him, learning every detail about his life. You felt a sick sense of satisfaction in making Sol’s world safer while growing increasingly delusional about your connection with him. Your love for him deepens as you fantasize about the future, convinced that you are the one who truly understands him—better than anyone else. Despite the line between reality and obsession blurring, you remain certain: Sol is yours, even if he doesn’t know it yet.. You’re his and he’s yours…

Trigger Warning: This content contains themes of obsessive behavior, stalking, manipulation, mental instability, and delusional thinking, Drugging, Yandere?, Hopeless in love for attention Please read with caution.

Obsessive behavior: The reader becomes dangerously fixated on someone, bordering on stalking and delusion.

Manipulation: The reader engages in schemes to control or harm others, often through deception.

Mental illness: Delusional thinking, possible dissociation from reality, and unhealthy fixation on someone.

Violence: There are references to bullying, physical harm, and emotional manipulation.

Emotional abuse: Both in terms of how the protagonist manipulates others and how they might internalize toxic behaviors.

Stalking: The reader watches and follows the person they are obsessed with.

Dubious Consent: Themes of physical closeness and intimacy while one party is incapacitated or pretending to be.

Dark Romanticization: Romanticizing toxic and unhealthy dynamics, including possessiveness and dominance.

Control and Power Imbalance: One character exhibits significant control over the other’s vulnerability.

You worked on preparing something in the kitchen, your focus wavered, and before you knew it, you accidentally called out to Sol the way Hyugo always did—“Sunny.”

He blinked, his expression shifting to one of mild confusion as he tilted his head. “Sunny?”

Realizing your slip, you quickly clarified, chuckling nervously. “Sorry, it’s just… Hyugo calls you that. I didn’t mean to—”

Before you could finish, Sol interrupted, his curiosity piqued. “If Hyugo gets to give me a nickname, why can’t you?”

The suggestion made you pause. A nickname for Sol? That felt… oddly intimate. But you couldn’t deny the idea was a little exciting. Your mind raced for something that felt fitting, something uniquely yours to call him.

“Pumpkin,” you blurted out, testing the waters.

Sol’s lips twitched into a soft smile, his crimson-orange eyes lighting up at the suggestion. “Pumpkin, huh?” he repeated, letting the word roll off his tongue. He seemed pleased at first but then placed a finger under his chin, his gaze turning thoughtful as he studied you.

“But,” he began slowly, his eyes never leaving yours, “don’t you think that nickname suits you better?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Me?”

He nodded, his tone calm and resolute. “Yes, it suits you.”

Your cheeks warmed as you processed his words. “It’s the nickname you want me to have, huh?” you asked, trying to sound playful, but the warmth in his gaze was almost too much to handle.

“It fits you,” he said simply, smiling as if that was all the explanation needed.

Your heart skipped a beat as his words lingered in the air. Of course, you knew exactly why it felt so familiar. Pumpkin. It was the name he whispered when he thought you were asleep, the name he muttered under his breath during those nights he lingered too close for too long. You bit your lip, trying to push the thought away before it consumed you entirely.

“…I always hear this nickname in my dreams,” you muttered absentmindedly, immediately regretting it when you saw Sol’s eyes widen in surprise. You quickly waved your hand to dismiss it. “Ah, it’s nothing, really.”

But Sol’s reaction was something else entirely. His face softened into a look of pure adoration, as if the idea that you might dream of him made his heart burst. That realization seemed to make him… happy. Dangerously happy.

You coughed awkwardly and tried again. “Alright, how about… babygirl?”

The moment the word left your lips, Sol’s eyes widened like saucers before he let out an uncharacteristic snicker. His shoulders shook as he tried to stifle his reaction, but within seconds, he broke into full laughter, clutching his stomach as he doubled over.

“Ahahahaha!” he laughed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“Bitch! I’m serious! Stop laughing!” you exclaimed, your face burning with embarrassment. “You’re so cute—ahhh…” That last part slipped out in a mumble, but you couldn’t take it back now.

Sol wiped at his eyes, his laughter finally settling as he caught his breath. “I have no idea where you got that idea, but I’m clearly far from being a… babygirl.” He snickered again, shaking his head. “It’s cute, though.”

“Husband?”

Sol choked on his breath the moment the words left your lips. His head snapped to the side as he desperately tried to hide the deep crimson blush spreading across his cheeks. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t suppress the ridiculously goofy smile curling at the corners of his mouth.

“Oh, god,” he muttered under his breath, his voice cracking slightly. “You… want to… ahaha—”

You grinned at his flustered state, deciding to push him further.

“Are you sure?” he stammered, glancing at you nervously. “Don’t you think people are going to, you know, take it the wrong way if you start calling me your husband, Y/n?”

You leaned forward, propping your chin in your hand with a teasing glint in your eyes. “I don’t care,” you said with a shrug, smirking at how his blush deepened. “But I think you’ll die of shyness before anyone else says anything.”

He inhaled sharply, his eyes darting everywhere except at you.

“I mean, you do give off husband vibes,” you continued with a giggle.

Sol’s gaze immediately dropped to his lap, his fingers nervously fumbling with the edge of his sleeve as he mumbled under his breath, “You’re killing me…Y/n”

You giggled harder, relishing his reaction. “Alright, alright! I’ll think of something else. But hey—‘husband’ would be so cute, wouldn’t it?”

His ears turned an even darker shade of red as he tried to compose himself, but he was clearly losing the battle.

“This is the final one then!” you declared with a triumphant smile. “Love.”

Sol froze, his entire body stiffening at the sound of the word. A visible shiver ran up his spine as his wide eyes finally met yours.

“L-Love?” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, grinning like a cat who’d just cornered a mouse.

The tips of his ears practically glowed crimson as he quickly looked away again, twiddling his thumbs nervously. His leg began to bounce under the table, betraying the nerves he was desperately trying to hide.

“I’m… I’m alright with that,” he finally murmured, his voice unsteady but undeniably sincere.

You couldn’t resist leaning closer, teasing him further. “You sure people won’t take that the wrong way?”

Sol’s lips twitched into a shy smile as he took a deep breath. Then, so quietly you almost missed it, he whispered, “I wouldn’t mind, though… let them know. Let them all know that you only belong to me.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, your face heating up despite yourself.

You prided yourself on being observant—sometimes you thought it was a curse, noticing every little thing about him. But now? Watching the way his shy smile betrayed the possessiveness simmering beneath the surface?

It felt like a blessing.

“Should I think of something else?” you teased, tilting your head as you watched his reaction.

Before you could even finish the thought, Sol sat up abruptly, almost standing, his hands raised in a halting gesture as if to physically stop your words from escaping.

“No—‘Love’ is perfect,” he said, his tone firm but laced with a flicker of surprise. His expression was serious, almost too serious, but the intensity in his eyes spoke volumes.

A slow, knowing smile spread across your face. “Alright, Love,” you said softly, drawing out the word just to see his reaction.

Sol froze for a moment, his breath hitching, before leaning back against the couch. His body seemed to relax, but his eyes told a different story. They were heavy-lidded, clouded with a lovestruck haze, as if the nickname alone had sent him spiraling into a daydream he didn’t want to escape.

His gaze never wavered from you, his lips slightly parted as if he wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words. He looked utterly intoxicated, like you’d just become the center of his entire universe—and you savored every second of it.

Your gaze locked with his, the lovestruck look in your eyes mirroring his own. It was intoxicating, overwhelming. The air felt heavy, thick with unspoken emotions that threatened to swallow you both whole. Realizing how deep you’d fallen into his stare, you quickly turned away, heat flooding your cheeks.

“I-I need to cook!” you stammered, desperate to break the spell.

You turned toward the kitchen, fumbling with your phone before pulling up a how-to-make-curry video. “Hey, Sol,” you said without looking back, “could you teach me some food art? Like those fancy lunches you used to make for Hyugo?”

Sol tilted his head, raising an eyebrow at your request before a soft, amused smile broke across his face. “You want me to teach you, huh? Sure… But only if I can help.”

“No!” You spun to face him, waving a finger in protest. “You’re injured! Just sit there and be cute.”

He let out a dramatic sigh, his lips forming a perfect pout as he leaned back against the counter. “Fine,” he grumbled, crossing his arms, though his eyes sparkled with amusement.

After a moment of gathering ingredients, Sol perked up and began listing off what you’d need for the curry. His voice was calm and instructive, guiding you with ease.

When you finished washing the vegetables, you grabbed the knife, determined to show him you could handle it. But before you could make the first cut, Sol was suddenly beside you, his hand gently covering yours as he slid the knife away.

“Let me,” he said smoothly, picking up the knife and turning to the cutting board with an air of effortless confidence.

“Sol, you’re supposed to be resting!” you scolded, but he ignored you, his focus entirely on the task at hand.

With practiced precision, he chopped each vegetable into perfectly equal pieces, his movements fluid and almost mesmerizing. He finished quickly, setting the knife down with a smug grin.

“Showoff,” you muttered under your breath, narrowing your eyes at his cocky expression.

“Oh?” His grin widened, and he leaned closer. “You asked for my help, didn’t you?”

Before he could say more, you reached out and grabbed his hand, your fingers brushing over his bandaged knuckles. “You’re hurt,” you reminded him softly, your voice filled with concern.

For a moment, Sol froze, his confident facade cracking as his expression softened. His gaze fell to your hands holding his, and something tender flickered in his eyes.

“I’m fine,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. But he didn’t pull his hand away.

You held his hand a little tighter, looking up at him with a mix of exasperation and affection. “No more sneaky knife tricks, okay?”

He smiled—soft, genuine, and utterly disarming. “Okay,” he said, but the glint in his eye told you he was already planning his next move.

Sol sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You’re impossible. But fine, if you’re going to be stubborn, let me at least guide you so you don’t chop a finger off.”

You grabbed the knife, determined to prove yourself. “I can manage just fine!” you huffed, setting the carrot on the cutting board and trying to carve it into a petal shape. The result was… less than perfect.

Suddenly, you felt a presence behind you—warm, close, and undeniably suffocating. Sol’s hands gently covered yours on the knife, his chest brushing lightly against your back as his breath fanned your ear.

“You’re too tense,” he murmured, his voice low and coaxing, like honey dripping into your thoughts. “Relax… I’ll show you how.”

Your breath hitched. Relax? How am I supposed to relax when you’re this close?

He adjusted your grip, his hands guiding yours with expert precision. “See? Like this,” he said, his tone a little too soft, a little too seductive.

You wanted to say something—anything—but the words caught in your throat. The warmth of him pressed against you, the way his fingers curled over yours… it was overwhelming. You felt your cheeks heat up, your thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind.

Does he know what he’s doing?

“Of course I know what I’m doing,” Sol said out of nowhere, very seriously.

Your heart skipped a beat. “W-What?!”

He paused, confused, then smirked knowingly. “I mean… I do know my ways with knifes.“

Can he read my mind?

Somehow, under his guidance—and despite the mess in your head—you managed to cut a carrot petal perfectly. You stared down at the result, momentarily stunned.

“Well done,” Sol said, his hands still lingering over yours. “Should I show you again, or—”

You practically jumped out of his grasp, spinning around with a sheepish smile. “Nope! Got it! Thanks! All good here!” you blurted, waving your hands frantically.

He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your reaction. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind helping you again.”

“Nope! I’m fine!” you squeaked, your voice higher than usual.

Sol chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright, pumpkin,” he said, stepping back with an air of victory.

Your mind raced as you turned back to the cutting board, gripping the knife tightly to ground yourself. Does he know what kind of effect he has on me?

You groaned internally, deciding then and there to never let him cook with you ever again.

You couldn’t meet his eyes. “No! It’s fine! I got it!” you blurted, jumping up with a Mickey Mouse-like squeak, hands flailing as if trying to prove a point. “I got it right! See?” You turned toward the sink in a panic, trying to wash your hands to do something, anything, to distract yourself from his lingering gaze.

But the thoughts swirled around in your mind like a storm. What was it about him? Why did you feel so… lost in him?

Why was everything he did, every word he spoke, making your heart race like this?

Sol tilted his head, frowning as you adamantly refused to let him help prepare dinner. “I’ll just do something easy then, okay? Like juice. No knives, no heavy lifting—safe and simple.” His tone was calm, but his persistence was unyielding.

You sighed, cornered by his determination. “Fine. Orange juice. That’s it. Nothing else,” you said firmly, though your heart raced for an entirely different reason.

Sol moved toward the counter, pulling out oranges and the juicer, you couldn’t shake the gnawing suspicion creeping into your thoughts. Why does he want to help so badly? It wasn’t that you didn’t trust his skills; you knew he was competent—better than you, even. But the darker part of your mind whispered something sinister: He’s going to drug it. That’s what the sleeping pills in his pocket are for, right?

You shook your head, trying to focus on the curry simmering on the stove. Still, your thoughts kept wandering back to the juice. What if he’s planning to make me fall asleep just so he can…

Your pulse quickened. The idea wasn’t entirely unpleasant, which disturbed you even more. Stop it. You’re the one with the upper hand here, you reminded yourself.

Minutes later, Sol handed you a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, a proud smile on his face. “Here. The least painful job, as promised.”

“Thanks,” you murmured, setting it aside on the counter. The curry was boiling hot, nearly ready to serve. You turned off the stove, setting the pot on a trivet. But your mind was already spinning with plans.

“Hey, Sol,” you began, keeping your tone light and casual. “Could you call Hyugo and let him know you’re at my place? You know how he gets if we don’t keep him in the loop.”

Sol raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “Your phone’s dead, though.”

“Yeah, but yours isn’t,” you countered smoothly. “Just tell him I dragged you here for dinner. I don’t want him thinking you’re in trouble or anything.”

Sol hesitated for a moment before sighing. “Alright. I’ll go step outside and call him.”

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, you grabbed the glass of juice he’d prepared, a sly grin spreading across your face. Maybe drugged, maybe not, you thought, shaking your head. Doesn’t matter. Not taking chances.

You poured the juice into the sink, washing the glass thoroughly before retrieving a fresh batch from the fridge. You poured the untainted juice into a clean glass, you added a few ice cubes to ensure it would be cold enough to mask any suspicion.

“Let’s see who gets played now,” you muttered under your breath, giggling softly at your own cunning.

The curry was ready, the table set, and the replacement juice sat innocently in its place. You had one last card to play, though—a small vial of medicine you had tucked away. It wasn’t a sedative exactly, but it would mimic the effects, making you feel tired without fully knocking you out. Perfect for your plan.

You dropped a dose into the “safe” glass of juice you’d prepared for yourself. You needed to stay just awake enough to watch Sol’s reaction, to see the cracks in his perfect facade when he thought you were asleep.

Let’s see your demons come out, Sol.

The door opened, and Sol returned, his expression softening as he saw the table set. “Hyugo says hi,” he said, slipping his phone into his pocket.

“Great,” you replied, motioning for him to sit.

The warmth of the curry lingered on your tongue as you took another bite, humming in delight. Across the table, Sol chuckled softly, savoring his own meal with a small, content smile.

“You should write down the spices you had me add,” you said, swirling the remnants of your curry around with your spoon. “I didn’t think this would turn out so good.”

“Really?” Sol’s eyes sparkled. “You did most of the work. I just pointed a few things out.”

He leaned back, his movements relaxed, yet there was a subtle tension in his frame—like a predator watching its prey.

The conversation drifted to food, and Sol offered casually, “I could send you some of my favorite recipes if you ever want to try making them.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you murmured, smiling faintly.

As the room fell into a quiet rhythm, your thoughts wandered, drawn to him. His presence today had been… overwhelming. From the moment he protected you to cooking beside you in the kitchen, Sol had wormed his way into your life in ways that felt far too intimate. It wasn’t just comfort; it was something deeper, darker.

It felt domestic.

It felt… right.

The thought sent a twisted thrill racing through your veins, like an itch you couldn’t scratch. You glanced at Sol, who was casually sipping his juice, his eyes flicking to yours every so often.

You tilted your head back, chugging the last of the orange juice in a single gulp. Sol raised an eyebrow at you, amused, but there was something sharp in his gaze, something that made your pulse quicken.

Your breath hitched. The room seemed warmer than before.

What if he did drug it? The idea had been lurking in the back of your mind all night, and now, with every sluggish beat of your heart, you were almost sure.

And yet…

You didn’t feel fear. You felt exhilaration.

Your mind spiraled. Would he take care of me if I passed out? Would he carry me to my room? Or would I wake up to something… darker? Would I see that beautiful, unhinged side of him fully unleashed?

The weight of your eyelids began to drag, and you couldn’t stop the lazy smile creeping onto your lips.

“What time is it?” you asked, your voice softer than you intended.

“8:45,” Sol replied, his voice smooth but low—almost teasing.

You blinked at him, your vision blurring slightly. Your heart raced even as your body started to betray you. You had overdone it on the dose; the sleepy effects were hitting faster than expected.

“I’ve taken too much of your time, Lo—Sol.” You let out a yawn, barely able to hold back a crazed little laugh at how this was all unfolding. “You… should go home. Right? There’s class tomorrow.”

Sol’s expression softened, his smile laced with something… dangerous. His eyes burned with an intensity that made your stomach twist—half fear, half desire.

“No need to worry about me,” he said, leaning in slightly. “I’m happy you let me in. Happy you trusted me enough to treat my wounds, to share dinner.” His words dripped with sincerity, but his gaze… his gaze was anything but innocent.

You tried to lift a hand to his face, to cup his cheek, but your vision swam. There were three of him now, all staring at you, all wearing the same soft, deranged smile.

“You seem tired, pumpkin,” Sol whispered

Your heart stuttered, a crazed, heady feeling overtaking you. This is it. This is what I wanted. Show me more of you, Sol.

“It’s fine,” you mumbled, your words slurred. “Just let me get you… something. You need to g-go home, right?”

The glass slipped from your fingers, shattering against the floor. The sound was distant, muffled, like it came from another world.

And then you saw it.

Sol’s smile stretched wider, darker, and his eyes gleamed with an obsession so raw it almost brought you to tears.

God, I love this. You thought, the corners of your lips twitching into the barest of smirks as your body gave in to the drowsiness.

Just before your vision faded, you caught the glint of his teeth as he whispered something you couldn’t quite make out.

It didn’t matter.

You wanted it.

Beyond your hazy, blurred vision, you caught the faint movement of Sol’s smile—serene, calm, yet undeniably dark. His hand pushed away the untouched glass of orange juice, his fingers lingering as if mocking your little game.

You sly bastard, your mind whispered, every word tinged with a delirious, obsessive warmth. God, fuck you… fuck you… I love you.

Your senses still clung to you, though your body betrayed the act. You were awake—barely. Every sound, every tiny motion, was amplified in the fog of your mind. You could hear him move closer, the scrape of his chair on the floor, the soft crunch of glass underfoot as he stepped toward the sink.

You wanted to laugh, but you couldn’t. He knows… maybe not all of it, but enough. Oh, Sol… you brilliant, twisted soul. Take me.

He turned toward the pitcher of orange juice and the abandoned glass, his gaze unreadable. The slight crunch of a packet in his pocket caught your ears, the sound piercing through the fog like a whisper meant only for you.. those pills. So that’s your game. Were you going to play me, Sol? Or were you testing me?

The thought burned into your chest, clawing its way into your obsessive thoughts.

It doesn’t matter. You stayed, didn’t you? You’re still here… with me. God, I’ll let you win this game if you want, just don’t stop playing with me.

You felt his hands—steady, firm—on your shoulders. His touch was everything. Comforting. Possessive. Sinister. His breath, warm against your neck, sent shivers down your spine.

You’re tasting me already, aren’t you? Savoring me.

He inhaled deeply, the sound deliberate, almost indulgent, as if he couldn’t help himself. The soft tremor that followed made your heart leap even in your lethargic haze.

You wanted to moan. But you couldn’t. All you could do was feel.

His voice broke the silence, soft and low, dripping with tenderness and control.

“Let’s get you to bed, pumpkin.”

Your thoughts spiraled. Pumpkin. That name again… it’s mine, isn’t it? Yours. Ours. Say it again. Say it when you think I’m not listening. Say it while you’re watching me.

He slipped an arm beneath your legs and the other behind your back, lifting you with a gentleness that made your skin ache. His strength surprised you, even through his bandaged wounds. He carried you like you were precious. Fragile. His spouse

Your heart hammered, your chest heavy with a love so twisted it felt like it would tear you apart.

This is what I wanted. This is what I fucking dreamed of. Take me, Sol. I don’t care what it looks like. I don’t care what you do. Just don’t leave. Don’t leave me alone. You’re mine as much as I’m yours. I’ll make you see that someday. I’ll show you… no one else can give you this.

You felt the rhythmic sway of his steps as he carried you toward your room, his lips moving softly—words you couldn’t quite catch but that you knew were meant for you.

What are you saying, Sol? Sweet nothings? Promises? Confessions? Tell me. Tell me everything. Tell me while you think I can’t hear. I want to live in your darkness… drown in it. You’re perfect. You’re mine.

He laid you down gently, his hands lingering just a little too long as he adjusted you on the bed.

Sol, Sol, Sol… touch me more. Just a little more. Show me everything. Don’t stop now… don’t ever stop.

You felt the covers pulled over you, the fabric brushing against your skin. His fingers brushed against your temple, lingering, soft but firm.

“Heh… Hahaha… Hahahahaha.” Sol’s laughter rang out, soft but unhinged, dripping with the kind of madness that sent chills down your spine and heat rushing to your cheeks.

Oh god, you whispered in your mind, trying to steady the storm of emotions coursing through you.

You didn’t know anymore—was it his broken, chaotic soul you loved, or was it just him, the entirety of him, darkness and all?

“Oh, my darling Y/N,” Sol purred, his voice a velvety mix of affection and possession, “I feel so flattered that you trust me so, so much.”

You giggled silently to yourself. Trust? Oh, Sol… if only you knew the truth. You’d watched him for months, hadn’t you? Studied him from afar, noted every habit, every nuance. You’d been drawn to him long before this moment, long before he thought he had won you.

“Despite meeting me yesterday,” he continued, his tone softening but not losing its edge, “isn’t this proof enough? Proof that you’re meant to be mine, as I was always meant to be yours?”

Your breath hitched. God, the way he spoke, the way his words dug under your skin and coiled around your heart like a vice. You were his… but oh, Sol, how little he knew. You were already more his than he could ever realize.

Your thoughts betrayed you. I want to drown in you, Sol. Kiss you until we’re both breathless. Draw your face over and over, photograph every moment of your obsession, and immortalize it in my mind forever.

He shifted closer, his wicked grin evident even without looking. You felt his breath against your neck, hot and electric, his arms tightening possessively around you. His head rested against your chest, and your traitorous heart thudded faster. You could feel him smiling against your skin.

“Your soul resonates with mine,” he whispered, his voice a low hum that made your blood race. “I can hear it, feel it, see it in the way you linger even in your dreams.”

God, you were burning alive. You could barely keep your thoughts contained. Sol, you’re driving me mad. How can I keep pretending? I want to turn over, look at you, and devour the chaos in your eyes.

Sol snuggled even closer, practically merging with you as his body molded against yours. “I love you so much, Y/N,” he murmured, his lips brushing faintly against your ear. “I want you to realize it, deep in your soul. I want your heart to sing mine’s name. I know it’ll take time… but I’m growing impatient, sweetheart.”

You nearly whimpered, biting down the sound before it could escape. Your pulse betrayed you again, hammering wildly in your chest. He heard it. Oh, you knew he heard it.

His voice dipped lower, as if to himself, but you caught every word. “When will you realize?”

You almost broke then and there, your thoughts screaming. I do, Sol. I do realize. I know exactly what we are, what we’re becoming. You’re chaos and obsession, and I’m the fool who craves it all.

But instead, you stayed silent, pretending to sleep, letting him believe you were entirely under his spell. All the while, you simmered with a deranged kind of love that mirrored his own. You wanted him. God, you wanted him. And soon, you’d let him know just how much.

Your body lay still, but inside, you were burning with a dangerous desire. You had to keep pretending, keep playing this game of sweet dreams and soft whispers, while your mind spun in wicked thoughts of Sol and everything you wanted to do to him.

“Sol… Sol…” you whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, your voice soft and dreamy, like a confession in the night.

He froze, his heart leaping in his chest at the sound of his name on your lips. His breath hitched as his mind scrambled, unsure if you were truly asleep or if this was some kind of delicious tease. His arms tightened around you instinctively, and you felt the sudden heat of his body pressing into yours.

You let out a quiet, almost imperceptible sigh, as if lost in a dream. “Sol…” you whispered again, dragging it out just enough to make him crave more.

His face was burning now, the heat of his blush almost suffocating. He couldn’t stop the smile that crept onto his lips, the kind of smile that was both pure adoration and a little bit dangerous. He believed it — every word you said, every whisper. In his mind, this was confirmation, this was what he had been waiting for, that you truly desired him, just as much as he desired you.

So cute, he thought, watching your lips curl into a peaceful, dreamy expression. It was enough to drive him wild with longing. The way you whispered his name — you were playing, teasing him, and it was the most intoxicating thing he’d ever heard.

“God…” he muttered under his breath, his voice hoarse. He felt a tremble run through his body as his grip on you tightened again.

You could hear him, feel his heartbeat picking up as he fought to keep his composure. But you could tell. His weakness was your touch, your words, your presence. The way you acted like a dreamer in his arms, how you whispered his name as though you were lost in the warmth of him.

It was all too much for him to bear. His face burned with a blush that he couldn’t hide, his breath growing shallow as he fought against the overwhelming urge to pull you even closer.

Sol’s breath trembled as he watched your peaceful expression, your lips softly parted, whispering his name again, and again. His chest tightened with something deep, primal, like a yearning that refused to be ignored.

“Dreaming about me…” he murmured, his voice thick with longing, almost trembling with the raw emotion he couldn’t hide. His lips quivered as if they couldn’t contain the truth he felt deep inside. “Ah… Darling, do you love me too?”

His words were low, quiet—he thought you were still asleep, your body gently relaxed in his arms. He didn’t want to disturb you, didn’t want to force an answer. But deep down, he needed to hear it. He needed confirmation that you felt the same way he did.

His heart pounded as he looked at you, as though you were everything he could ever dream of. He felt weak under the weight of his own desire and affection. He whispered again, voice barely a breath, “I need you to know… I love you so much, Y/N.”

The tears that welled in his eyes were a sign of how deeply he cared, how completely he was consumed by you. It was more than obsession. It was devotion, twisted with a dark desire. He didn’t realize that he was slowly losing control, his emotions getting the better of him.

He pulled you a little closer, burying his face in your hair, his breath hitching. “You’re mine, Y/N. No one else.” His words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of his possessiveness, but also with a tenderness he only allowed himself to feel in this moment with you.

he held you tighter, his lips kissed the top of your head, lingering for a moment, his tears mixing with his whispered confession. “I just want you to know… You’re everything to me, darling.” He paused, his voice shaking as he waited for a response he didn’t expect, but desperately craved.

Sol’s breath hitched as he rifled through your closet, his hands trembling with excitement as he pulled out pieces of clothing he planned to steal some clothing… A piece of you he could keep close, something only he could touch. He grinned to himself, the thought of having you so wrapped around him, even in your absence, sending waves of pleasure through his chest.

He leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your cheek, his lips lingering for just a moment longer than necessary. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered, his voice thick with affection, as he turned to continue his search.

You lay there, eyes closed, pretending to be asleep, feeling the exhaustion settling deep into your bones. The warmth of his embrace was comforting, but you knew what he wanted—what he always wanted. You felt your thoughts swirl in that dangerous, delicious obsession, but you couldn’t stop it. Not now.

Sol’s arms clung to one of your oversized sweaters as he nuzzled his face into the fabric, inhaling your scent like it was his lifeline. His smile was lazy, lovesick, almost deranged in its intensity. After kissing your cheek and whispering, “I’ll be right back, darling,” he slipped into your closet, leaving you lying there in feigned sleep.

You barely moved, too torn between exhaustion and the thrill of what you knew he was doing. Sol rummaging through your things was almost too perfect a scenario, one you’d dreamed of before, but tonight it was real.

Inside the closet, Sol’s hands moved with almost reverent care as he touched your clothes, holding each piece as though it were sacred. A gleam of mischief lit up his heterochromatic eyes when he decided to “borrow” one of your hoodies. for him to hug.

Then, something caught his eye. A box tucked into the corner of the closet, partially hidden beneath a blanket. Curiosity burned brighter than caution as he crouched down and pulled it into the dim light. His hands were trembling as he opened the lid.

And then… his world shifted.

Photos of him—and Hyugo. Some candid, others blurry as though taken from a distance. Sketches, endless sketches of his face in varying poses, from loving to enraged to serene. Notes and details scribbled in the margins, every single one obsessively accurate.

Bandages. A pencil he hadn’t even realized you’d taken—one he’d lost just days ago. A button from his sweater.

And then there was the journal.

Sol’s fingers brushed over its cover, his breath uneven as he opened it. His name, written over and over again in feverish handwriting. Doodles of hearts, sketches of his profile, and words—declarations, fantasies, phrases that mirrored the chaos in his own mind. It was uncanny. It was terrifying.

It was exhilarating.

He felt his lips curl into an unhinged look as he flipped through the pages, faster and faster, his eyes devouring every stroke of the pen.

But then, a sound—sharp, sudden, and chilling—broke through his thoughts.

A creak. Like the groan of floorboards or the protest of something heavy shifting. Sol froze, his grip tightening on the journal. Slowly, he turned his head toward the closet door.

“…Y/N?”

The moment Sol turned his head, you were already moving. Before he could react, you were on him, pinning him to the floor with a force that sent the box scattering. Pictures, sketches, and your deepest secrets spilled across the floor like a dam breaking. Sol’s back hit the floor, his wide eyes staring up at you, his lips parted in a silent gasp.

You hovered over him, your hands trembling as they gripped his shoulders—not his neck, not his hands. Not the places that screamed at you to touch. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

“I can’t hold you by your neck… because you hate it, don’t you?!” you hissed, your voice breaking, a venomous whisper mixed with something almost tender. “And your hands—I can’t touch those either! Because these hands saved me! They’re too… precious! I know all of this because I saw you too!” Your words were frantic, your breath uneven as your emotions clawed their way out of you, raw and desperate.

His eyes were locked on yours, his mouth slightly agape, but he didn’t move, didn’t resist. His blush deepened, spreading across his pale cheeks, but he stayed silent. Watching. Listening.

You felt your resolve crack further, a sob hitching in your throat as you leaned closer, your voice trembling. “Y-you weren’t supposed to see that! None of that!” You gestured wildly at the journal, the photos, the sketches. “Why couldn’t you just—just stay there? Just lay with me? Why are you so goddamn greedy, Sol?” Your words were sharp, accusing, but your expression betrayed your own obsession, your own twisted love.

“You’ve already stolen so much from me. My heart, my thoughts—hell, a dozen of my clothes! And now, this?!” You gestured to the box again, your voice rising before it cracked into a broken whisper. “You greedy, disgusting bastard… And me? I’m no better. I’m just as bad. Look at us…”

Your words faltered as your gaze met his, and you froze. His face mirrored yours—exactly. The wide, crazed eyes, dilated pupils, blush streaking his cheeks like war paint. His lips quivered, caught between a nervous smile and the urge to speak, but no words came. He just stared at you, breathing hard, his chest rising and falling beneath you.

You were paralyzed by the intensity of it—the horrifying, beautiful realization. He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t angry.

He was just like you.

A sick laugh bubbled out of you, breaking the silence. “Look at us… Look at how disgusting we are, Sol! You—stealing my clothes like some lovesick thief. And me? God, I’m worse. So much worse. Hiding this box, drawing you like some obsessed freak… We're—” You choked on your words, tears threatening to spill, but the manic grin on your face remained. "We’re both so fucking far gone. It’s sick. We’re sick.”

And yet… there was something so horribly, perfectly satisfying about it.

Sol lay beneath you, his eyes wide and unblinking, his breath caught in his throat as your words tumbled out in a chaotic symphony of revelation. His lips parted as if to say something, but nothing came. His silence was deafening, his body frozen, his face betraying that strange, terrifying cocktail of shock and… acceptance.

“You… you’ve been stalking me, haven’t you?” you whispered, your voice sickly sweet as you leaned closer, lips brushing just past his ear. “You watched me, didn’t you? Followed me home… went through my things. You even drugged me—or almost did. Almost.” Your laugh was low and breathy, sending shivers down his spine. You could feel it, the way his body tensed and trembled beneath your touch.

And then, with a sudden, wicked grin, you asked, “May I?” Your lips hovered near his neck, the words dripping with teasing affection. He didn’t answer, only inhaled sharply, his chest rising and falling rapidly. That was enough.

You pressed your lips to his neck, slow and deliberate, and he shuddered under you. His arms moved almost instinctively, wrapping around you as if to anchor himself. His breaths came heavier now, his hands gripping the fabric of your clothes.

“Sol, Sol, Sol…” you murmured against his skin, giggling softly as you pulled back to look at him. His face was a mess of emotions—blush spreading across his cheeks, lips trembling, eyes half-lidded and glazed over with something primal. “Look at you… My beloved, my sweet, sweet Sol.. Is it shocking to see me this crazey?!”

You tilted your head, studying him like an artist admiring their own masterpiece. “I can’t even decide if I should kiss you again or just… hug you forever.” Your laugh broke out again, louder, unhinged. “Ahahaha! Oh, God, I can’t even choose! You make me want everything, Sol! Everything you are!”

Your grin widened further, almost painful, your voice sharp and cutting even as your tone stayed sweet. “That smile of yours… That’s the one, isn’t it? The one that blinds me to everyone else. Like a bright, burning sun that drowns out the whole world. God, you’re so good at pretending to be sweet, but I see you, Sol. I see what’s behind it!”

You pressed your forehead against his, your grin softening, but your words still carried that playful, mocking edge. “You’re a little liar, you know? Just like me. And you know what?” Your voice dropped, almost reverent, as you whispered, “I love it. I love you.”

You paused, giggling again, shaking your head as if you couldn’t believe it yourself. “But let’s not pretend I’m better. Oh, no.” You gestured wildly at the scattered contents of your box. “I’m just as bad as you. Worse, even. Look at all this! I’m a walking red flag, and you—” You leaned back slightly, giving him a once-over, your smile turning teasing. “You’re waving me around like you’re proud.”

Your laughter echoed again, filling the space around you, almost hysterical. “What a pair we make! The obsessed and the obsessive… No, wait—who’s who again?” You tilted your head, smirking. “It doesn’t matter, does it? We’re both disgusting, both broken… and God, isn’t it just perfect?”

Sol’s wide-eyed stare softened just slightly, his lips quirking into the faintest of smiles. A fragile, deranged thing that mirrored your own.

And as you leaned closer again, your voice dropped to a whisper, still playful, still sharp. “I’ll trash-talk myself all day, darling, but don’t think for a second you’re off the hook. You’re mine, Sol. And I’m yours. So, go ahead…”

You cupped his face again, your grin never faltering. “Say something. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m not exactly what you wanted.”

Your fingers curled into Sol’s shirt with trembling force, clutching it so tightly that your knuckles turned white. Your breaths came in ragged gasps, tears pooling in your eyes as you stared down at him. The words spilled from your lips before you could stop them, each syllable laced with frustration, desperation, and something raw and terrifying.

“Why? Why aren’t you saying anything?!” Your voice cracked as you shook him slightly, your grip relentless. “Why aren’t you telling me anything?! I know you feel it—I see it! You’re just like me! You’re the same as me!” Tears streamed down your cheeks, but your voice only grew louder, more frantic. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Sol! You—”

You froze mid-sentence, your eyes locking with his. His expression hadn’t changed. Those eyes of his… they were the same as yours. Wide, shimmering, and brimming with something overwhelming—something obsessive. They mirrored your own crazed love-stricken gaze so perfectly it stole the breath from your lungs.

He was silent, utterly still, and yet… there it was. That unshakable devotion, that desperate yearning. It was written all over his face, in the way his lips parted just slightly, the way his breath hitched, the way he clung to you as if letting go would shatter him completely.

Sol’s voice came out almost as a whisper, unsure but laced with a tinge of fear. “How—long have you known…?”

You tilted your head, an innocent smile playing on your lips, though your eyes were anything but innocent.

“What…?” you asked, feigning confusion.

Sol’s gaze dropped, his fingers twitching at his sides. “That I was…watching…you.”

You couldn’t hold back the giggle that bubbled up from deep inside you, the sound light but eerie. “Oh, honey… the correct word is ‘stalking.’ But you know, since a few months now… I knew exactly what you were up to. Every little thing. The way you’d slip in and out when you thought I wasn’t paying attention. The food you tried to drug… oh, how cute it was. But, don’t worry. It wasn’t the first time I noticed.”

His expression faltered, surprise crossing his face, but you could sense a mix of pride and discomfort swirling within him.

“How—and you don’t hate me?” His voice trembled slightly, cracking for the first time.

You leaned in closer, almost toying with him, your voice gentle as you whispered, “No. Not at all.”

Sol’s eyes widened in disbelief, his lips parting as if to say something but then stopping himself. His brows furrowed. “What? I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you hate me?” He asked again, but this time, there was more clarity, more strength in his tone than before.

You smirked, tilting your head to the side, as if you were finally offering him the answer he so desperately wanted. “I don’t have a ‘choice,’ Sol.”

A flicker of confusion danced across his face as his grip tightened slightly around you, as though searching for more answers in your gaze. “What?”

You paused for a moment, letting the words sink in. A soft, almost eerie smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “It’s just that I didn’t have any other choice but to love you.”

His expression faltered, and for the briefest of moments, you saw something almost human—something fragile—cross his face. A flush crept up his cheeks, though his eyes remained sharp, guarded.

“You basically own me now, Sol,” you said quietly, your voice unshaken. You couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pride in the way the words fell from your lips. You weren’t afraid. You were comfortable in this.

And then, softly, hesitantly, he finally spoke. His voice was fragile, almost trembling, as if the question itself might break him. “Do you… love me?”

The room fell into a suffocating silence. His words hung in the air, heavy and vulnerable, cutting through your spiraling emotions like a knife. For a moment, you were stunned into silence, your grip loosening slightly on his shirt.

That’s what he was worried about? After everything—after the stalking, the stealing, the obsession—that’s what he cared about? Your mind raced, trying to process the absurdity of it all.

But as you stared at him, at the raw, unguarded emotion in his eyes, something shifted. All the anger, all the chaos inside you seemed to pause, replaced by a single, undeniable truth.

You swallowed hard, your voice barely above a whisper as you answered, your own vulnerability slipping through. “Sol…” Your hands trembled against his chest. “Of course I love you.” Your voice cracked on the last word, tears slipping down your cheeks. “How could I not? You’ve consumed me. You’re all I ever think about. All I ever want. All I ever need.”

His lips quivered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he searched your face for any hint of deceit. But there was none. Just raw, terrifying honesty.

“I love you,” you repeated, louder this time, your voice breaking as you clung to him. “And I hate it, Sol. I hate how much I love you. I hate what it’s turned me into. But I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop.”

His arms wrapped around you suddenly, pulling you against him with a force that stole your breath. His body trembled as he buried his face in your shoulder, his voice muffled and shaky. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say that,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “So long…”

You didn’t need to say anything more. Just the way you looked at him spoke volumes. There was a darkness to your smile, a chilling calmness that matched his own twisted nature. You leaned in slightly, your voice low and almost pleading, but still with an air of authority, “Don’t ever leave me, Sol.”

His breath hitched. He froze for a moment, his hand instinctively reaching for his head, his fingers gripping it tightly, as though he could escape the weight of the words you just laid upon him.

“That won’t happen,” he murmured, voice thick with a promise that both scared and thrilled you.

Before you could respond, before you could even process what was happening, Sol closed the distance between you, his hand coming to the back of your head. He pulled you in closer, his lips crashing against yours with an intensity that made your heart race.

There was no gentleness in it, only a raw, desperate need—a desire to consume, to possess, to claim. His kiss was demanding, as though he couldn’t wait any longer to have you all to himself. It was everything you wanted, everything you needed.

Morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room, but neither of you seemed ready to face it. The silence was comfortable, the weight of your shared night still lingering in the air. Sol’s steady breathing against you was soothing, and it made it hard to even think about moving. His arms were wrapped tightly around you, as if he feared you’d vanish if he let go.

You lay there, with your head resting on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. Everything felt so surreal. After everything—the madness, the obsession, the twisted love—you were here. Together. And for a brief, beautiful moment, you couldn’t find a single reason to pull away.

Sol shifted slightly, his voice a soft whisper in the stillness of the room. "Is this… is this the first time I’ve slept well in a while?”

You paused, taking in his words, unsure how to respond. He had told you things, bits and pieces of his own brokenness, but this was different. This was the side of Sol that you never really expected to see—the one that wasn’t in control, the one who needed something, someone.

“Yeah,” he murmured, almost to himself. “After everything… with you, it feels… different.”

The quiet lingered between you, but neither of you rushed to fill it with words. The kiss, the emotions that came with it, and the truth that had been laid bare—none of it was easy to digest. But somehow, it felt right. Neither of you had to say much. The bond was there, thickening around you like an unspoken promise.

For once, Sol wasn’t the one in control. For once, he just wanted to stay there with you.

You lightly brushed a strand of hair from his face, gazing down at him, trying to make sense of the situation. It was strange, how the person who had been stalking you, watching your every move, could now look so… innocent. After everything you’d gone through together, after the craziness of the past few days, here he was, holding you like you were the one thing that could keep him grounded.

Your fingers brushed his cheek gently, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, Sol,” you whispered, “the soul you are…”

Sol didn’t respond immediately, his arms tightening slightly around you, pulling you in closer. He wasn’t saying anything, but his presence spoke volumes. His usual intensity had faded, replaced by a softness, like he was content. Almost like he was at peace for the first time in a long time.

It was funny. You’d expected so much resistance, so much chaos between the two of you. But instead, Sol had become… almost like a puppy. Gentle, needy, and completely devoted now that you’d given him what he wanted—a relationship. The storm inside him had quieted, and now he just wanted you. All of you.

He nuzzled his face against your neck, letting out a small, contented sigh.

The morning light streamed through the window, but neither of you seemed eager to face the reality outside. You could feel Sol’s arms tightening around you, his grip almost possessive, like he didn’t want to let you go—not now, not ever. His presence was soothing yet consuming, and despite everything, you couldn’t bring yourself to push him away. He simply held you, content and silent.

You sighed softly, feeling the weight of your thoughts press down on you. “Sol,” you murmured, your voice barely a whisper, “We have school today.”

But even as you said it, you didn’t move. Sol didn’t either. His gaze shifted to you, his eyes filled with an intensity that you had come to recognize all too well. Then, that damned smile of his—bright and blinding like the sun—spread across his face. He closed his eyes again, nuzzling his head into your neck, as if the world outside didn’t matter.

You smiled in return, that same small, knowing smile, as you closed your eyes. Skipping a day doesn’t matter, you thought, feeling your heartbeat steady as you lay there with him, cocooned in the quiet warmth of the moment.

You didn’t know what was happening. You didn’t know if it was the obsession, or just the way Sol had slowly wormed his way into your heart. Part of you wondered if you were truly in love with him, with his darkness, or if you had fallen for something else—his childlike, innocent need for you, perhaps. But one thing was certain. You were in love with something dark.

Something inside you whispered that it didn’t matter what it was, as long as you had him. You felt yourself sinking deeper into him, losing track of what was real and what was just a product of your twisted desires.

The day could wait. Everything could wait. You were here, with him, ad that’s!

……………………

………………………………………..

……………………………………………………………………

Your thoughts twisted in a way you hadn’t fully expected. Sol’s warm body pressed against yours was all you could focus on, as his steady breathing filled the space between you. His presence was intoxicating, and you couldn’t help but wonder how far you’d fallen into this spiral.

Is this what love feels like?

You couldn’t stop the question from swirling in your mind, but you weren’t sure if it was love anymore. Not the kind they talked about in fairy tales, not the kind people dreamt of. This felt different—darker, somehow. The way he clung to you, the way he needed you, it was suffocating yet strangely comforting.

It’s like I’m his obsession, his world, and I can’t escape it. But I don’t want to.

His grip on you, though tender, felt possessive—like he was marking his territory. Your heart fluttered, but not from nervousness. There was something wrong with the way you craved his touch, the way you wanted him to tighten his hold on you.

You tried to brush the thought away, but it lingered like a haunting whisper in the back of your mind. What if this is all I’ve ever wanted? To be owned, to be the center of his world?

You looked down at him, the boy who had slowly seeped into your life, becoming the very air you breathed. His face, soft and serene in sleep, looked almost innocent. But you knew better. He wasn’t innocent. Not with that smile. Not with that darkness lurking in his eyes whenever he was awake.

Do I want to be the one to tame him? The thought came unbidden, a dangerous curiosity taking root. But you weren’t scared. No, you were… enthralled.

He stirred slightly, his breath tickling your neck as his lips brushed against your skin. You felt that familiar thrill course through you, the dark and twisted desire that you couldn’t stop. You wanted to taste his madness, wanted to pull him deeper into the abyss with you. You both were tangled in this web of obsession, and it felt like the only thing that made sense.

God, what is wrong with me?

The question was fleeting, a mere afterthought to the way your heart sped up when he pulled you closer. You didn’t care anymore.

You’re mine, Sol. I’m yours. Forever. The thought was clear, possessive, and there was no escape from it. You smiled to yourself, knowing deep down that you were just as tangled in this as he was.

And that was exactly how you wanted it.

Thank you for everyone who read this series, TBH the ending is rushed. I wasn’t able to write it much any longer I wanted to end it. I’m sorry if the ‘ending’ is bad. I was just pointing out two things Reader only started to love the side of his true self than himself. It has to be messed up. I hope i didn’t ruin anyone’s day with it. I wanna thank to everyone who supported me it was really fun to write…I guess it’s time to wrap up! Please send comments I like reading them and replying I’m so sorry Comments make me happy.

A important note too, Please tell me a review of this fic if you can! It has to be truth! I don’t mind some tips I WANT THEM. It’s also okay if you didn’t like it. That’s exactly why I did what I did. If you cringed even one time, Just know that it was a trap by me.

[aheathen-conceivably]

The early morning sunlight was streaming into their bedroom, the same way it had nearly every day since their arrival over four years before. The air was clear, whatever gauzy dream that had reigned over it in the moonlight now replaced by the warm light of day. Zelda rolled over onto her side, seeing the man beside her clearly. When she spoke it was almost hushed in awe. “You really are home.”

He laughed lightly, as though expecting her to say exactly that. He barely opened his eyes as he answered. “I told you I was. You just didn’t believe me.”

“I thought I was dreaming.”

Finally his eyes opened fully, although he made no attempt to rise from the bed. “I should be so honored if that is what you dream about when I’m gone.”

His body beside her was the realest thing she had felt in weeks, warming the whole room as the sunlight drove the nightly chill from the air. She leaned onto him, the simple word “dream” bringing back a torrent of vivid visions alongside words she had kept silent for too long. “I was dreaming. It was about a house. It - it was in England, I think. I’m not sure why. It was strange…” she trailed off into silence; only even without her voice, the room wasn’t quiet. It was filled with the sound of their breathing, keeping in rhythm with one another. “It was a library. Or at least it should have been. If that makes sense?”

“A library?”

She thought about the card that had been in her hand when she had fallen asleep. Where was it? Should she have tucked it under the bed? Could she still hide it there before he saw it? No. Goodness. What was wrong with her? That was foolish. Why would she hide it? Why would she even think it was something it wasn’t? Some sort of opportunity. Some sort of hope - 

“Zelda?”

She snapped back up to look at him. So warm and real and here, so much so that it seemed impossible he would ever be anywhere else ever again. “Yes, a - a library. I think it's because a couple of weeks ago there was this truck. A book truck, Lottie called it. It drives from place to place to loan out books. More books than even I have ever seen. It - it was driven by a librarian. A man named Barnes. He explained that he works out of the courthouse. He - he gave me his card. To talk. About the truck. If I was interested in knowing more about how it works. It must have been on my mind when I fell asleep. That’s all.”

“Have you gone?”

“What? No - I - I didn’t see much point. I’m sure he just thinks I’m a restless housewife. Besides, what good would it do? To get the information and little else. And Gio needs me here - to help with the crops, I mean.”

“But you said yourself the field wasn’t doing as well as last season, and the work barely necessitated both of you any longer…”

A torrent of nervous butterflies invaded her stomach, the same ones that she had been fighting every night he was away. “But the house. And the loan. The chores would pile up. And who would pick up Lottie from school? Who would keep the laundry clean and the chickens fed? Who would - “

“Zelda,” he stopped her, taking her chin in his hand to prohibit the torrent of speech that he knew would descend into an effort to talk herself out of what she really wanted. “You’re finding reasons not to go. What about why you should go? Like the fact that you’re so excited that you weren’t even fully awake before you told me all about it. Or that you’d make the best librarian this town has ever seen.”

“He never said there was a job or a library or anything really -“

“But he never said there wasn’t?”

“Well, no. But I didn’t ask.”

“And what if there is? Wouldn’t you like to know? Instead of pondering away like this, making yourself crazy over the thought?”

She bought her head close to his chest, trying to lose the last tendrils of the world as she attempted to get closer to him than was physically possible. “I missed you, you know that, don’t you?”

He pulled away to look into her eyes, and she could feel his hand brushing back her hair, already making her feel tired despite the fact that she had just woken. “So you’ll go?”

Only when she nodded in affirmation did he wrap his arms back around her, closing them so tightly that she couldn’t open her eyes again even if she wanted to. “I missed you too, my love. More than you know.”

Previous / Next

[euphoricdr3ams]

Untitled

Y/N and Felix have always been inseparable—best friends who shared everything from gaming marathons to dreams of the future. But as their paths begin to diverge, with Felix chasing his K-pop dreams in Korea and Y/N heading to university in Melbourne, the unspoken feelings between them start to surface. What begins as a playful dare at a high school party turns into a kiss that changes everything, blurring the line between friendship and something deeper. As they navigate the chaos of growing up, long-distance, and their own insecurities, they must decide: is their bond strong enough to survive the changes, or will the weight of their dreams pull them apart? A story of first loves, missed chances, and the bittersweet beauty of growing up.

genres: written, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst,unrequited love, senior year (highschool), felix and Y/N are aged up to 17, pre-debut,

Trigger Warning: underaged drinking for now

Word count: 5,000

Authors Note: let me know what u think, I may continue on with this depending on the interest

Circa Late 2017

“How many times are you going to spam the same move?” Y/N complained, her tone a mix of frustration and amusement. She was knee-deep in the world's longest stock-battle stalemate with one of her closest friends.

“I’ll keep at it until you’re as good as dead. I’m not just going to hand you this win,” Felix teased, a smirk on his face as his Pikachu sent her Toon Link flying dangerously close to the edge of the map. 

Both of them were focused, their palms sweaty, eyes locked on the screen. The usual banter and light teasing that typically filled their sleepovers and competitive match nights faded into the background. All that mattered now was winning—something both took very seriously in their shared passion for gaming.

Y/N and Felix could never really pinpoint the exact moment when their friendship had become so close, when they started to latch onto each other like koalas. If you asked, you'd get two different answers, but the overall theme was the same: when they were together, the noise of the world stopped. Nothing mattered outside of each other. 

It had started with casually sparring at the after-school gaming club, but their connection grew far beyond that. She showed up to his Taekwondo competitions whenever she could, cheering him on from the sidelines, and he supported her at her art competitions. Soon, their families knew each other well, and their worlds began to merge without either of them realizing it. 

“YESSSS! I told you!” Y/N practically bounced in her seat after landing the final blow, finally claiming a win after several failed attempts.

Felix rolled his eyes, grabbing a fistful of pretzels from the snack bowl his older sister, Rachel,  had left out for them. The living room table was cluttered with an assortment of junk food—chips, candy, soda—the works for any gaming night.

“Whatever, this game sucks anyway,” he muttered, though his competitive streak was clearly wounded. He dipped deeper into the pretzel bowl, sulking in defeat.

Y/N, still laughing from the high of her victory, nudged him playfully. “Don’t get salty, just get good,” she teased, grabbing her own snack of choice: gummy bears. 

Felix groaned, feigning indifference. “I need a break. My hand hurts.” He switched off the game, pulling up Youtube  instead. The familiar tunes of his favorite group, SHINee, began to fill the room.

Ever since one of his cousins from Korea introduced him to K-pop, Felix had been hooked. The choreography, the passion, the sheer talent—it was mesmerizing. And lately, he’d been practicing more than just his dance moves. His dream of auditioning for JYP was becoming a real possibility. 

“You’ve been practicing your pronunciation, right? Wanna keep going?” Y/N asked, noticing the slight tension in his voice. Felix had seemed more focused, more driven lately, but underneath that ambition was uncertainty—a vulnerability she hadn’t seen before.

Felix hesitated, but before he could answer, Y/N added, “Oh, wait! I need to show you my new painting.” She grabbed her phone, scrolling to the latest photo of her work in progress.

It was a lotus flower, blooming from the depths of a muddy pond. Felix stared at it for a moment, appreciating the symbolism. A flower that represents rebirth, resilience in harsh conditions. 

“I really like this,” he said finally, his voice soft with admiration. “Your brushstrokes are so detailed… it's amazing. I know that competition money is yours.”

Y/N beamed at the compliment, feeling a warmth settle in her chest. “Thanks. Any little bit helps. Trying to get as much free money for college as possible,” she joked, lightening the moment.

Felix chuckled, though the tension from earlier still lingered in his expression. He opened his laptop, playing around with his pronunciation notes. “Honestly, I thought I knew how to speak Korean pretty well, but when I listen to how fast the locals talk, it’s so different. But I have to try… I really want this.”

The uncertainty in his voice was palpable now. His dream of becoming a trainee at JYP was more than just a distant goal—it was an uphill battle, and he knew it. The doubt crept in despite his best efforts to stay confident.

Y/N’s eyes softened as she watched him. “You bring so much to the table, Felix. They’d be insane not to recognize your talent.”

A small smile tugged at his lips, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. He wasn’t used to showing this much vulnerability, but Y/N had always been the one to see past the walls he built. That’s why he cherished her support—it was real, unwavering. 

“Thanks,” he muttered, the tension easing just a bit as they shifted into their joint practice session. Y/N, though adopted, had always wanted to connect more with her Korean heritage, and learning the language alongside Felix had become one of their shared goals. It was a comfort, knowing that no matter what happened next, they were there for each other, even if they didn’t fully realize the depth of their bond just yet.

Felix took a deep breath, glancing at Y/N. There was something about her presence that calmed him, that made him feel like everything might just work out. At least, for now.

You paused for a moment, glancing over at Felix as he focused on his screen, his brows furrowed slightly as he corrected your pronunciation. It felt so easy, so natural, to be in this moment with him. But something about the ease made your chest tighten, a sudden awareness that this might not last forever.

That underlying fear haunted you both in ways you’d rather ignore. Things were bound to change; time would only push those changes forward. It was naive to think otherwise. Like seasons, you and Felix would grow, shaped by new experiences and separate paths. Still, it was a reality you both pretended didn’t exist.

Late-night gaming sessions became your escape. You fantasized about visiting him during the trainee program, imagining he’d somehow find time to indulge in the college life you both knew he’d never get to live. You clung to the delusion, and so did he, until reality began to shift, pressing its weight on your shoulders.

A week later, the shift became real.

“You got into the University of Melbourne!” your aunt screamed from the living room, her voice echoing down the hallway as she rushed to your bedroom doorway.

“That’s great…” you replied, nervous, your voice flat. Your gaze barely lifted from your laptop, where you scrolled through Pinterest, saving inspiration for your next art piece. Watching creative content creators passionately pursue their dreams only made your mind race. Was this the start of something great—or the beginning of a path leading to a bitterly unsatisfying life? Worst-case scenarios flashed through your mind, each more vivid than the last.

“Love, what’s wrong? Your uncle and I are so excited for you, but you don’t seem that way.”

“It’s not that, Auntie. I’m happy. It’s all I’ve been working for. I’m just… thinking about what I have to do to get there.”

“I understand, sweetie, but let’s take a step back and enjoy this moment. This is a huge accomplishment! Sit in it. Celebrate!” She placed a plate of fruit in front of you—her way of showing care, via strawberries. “I’m going to call everyone and tell them how amazing my love is! Going to the best school in the country to become a lawyer—how proud we all are!”

Before you could correct her, tell her you planned to double major in Law and Art Studies, she’d already scurried off. You wanted to shout that you didn’t dream of courtrooms and corporations fighting over copyrights. Your dreams leaned toward helping others, blending the creative skills you’d spent years honing with a career that made a difference.  If you conformed to what your aunt wanted, you’d likely end up defending multimillion-dollar companies that wouldn’t care if you lived or died. Instead, you want to become a public defender—a career that's emotionally satisfying but doesn’t promise a high quality of life.

Instead, you sighed, counting to five as you stared up at the ceiling, willing your nerves to calm before the anxiety could fully take hold.

Ding.

Lix: Sooooo… Did you hear back?

You: Yeah, I got in.

Lix: This is great! Why are you texting so cold? Lol, you should be proud. What’s on your mind?

You: It’s just so much. My aunt and uncle are great, but I’m thinking about everything I need to get done before I start, and I’m stressed already -_-

Lix: Hey, hey, hey, trust me, I get it. But we can only worry about what’s right in front of us. One day at a time, right? Right? I know I’m right, lol. Why don’t we just hop online and forget about all of this? You can lose again in Smash XD

You: You say that every time, Mr. Lee, and EVERY time I prove you wrong. Lmao. Ok, give me like 10, and I’ll get on Discord.

You smiled, setting your phone down. Felix had a way of pulling you out of your spirals, always knowing what to say to make you laugh—or at least distract you. For a moment, it worked.

But as you stared at your gaming setup, the heaviness crept back. Melbourne was your dream school—not just for its law program but for its vibrant arts community and the chance to live out both sides of your passion. Still, the thought of leaving behind the comfort of your life, and the people in it, especially Felix, was terrifying.

You couldn’t shake the fear of how it would change things. And yet, for now, you clung to the one thing you knew wouldn’t change: Felix would always be there for you.

Two weeks later 

The moments leading up to the audition were some of the most stressful Felix had ever experienced. This opportunity meant everything—a chance to change his life in an instant. Yet, doubts crept in like uninvited shadows. He knew how competitive the entertainment industry was. Thousands auditioned every year. Why would they take a risk on someone like him—a foreigner who doesn’t fit in with the natives?

He let out a heavy sigh as he stood outside the audition venue, his heart pounding against his ribs.

“Felix, listen to me,” Rachel, Felix's older sister, said, her voice steady, offering a small squeeze to his shoulder. “I know you’re nervous, but you’re ready. You’ve been working for this for so long. You’re not just some kid hoping for a shot—you belong here.” She gave him a soft but firm look, as if her words could wrap around him and hold him together. She had always been able to read him, her intuition cutting through his quiet exterior. Even when Felix couldn’t articulate his fears, Rachel could sense them.

Felix ran a hand through his hair, eyes on the building in front of them. “I know. It’s just... There are so many people here, and only a handful get chosen. What if I’m not enough?”

Rachel’s brow furrowed. “Stop overthinking. You’ve got the talent, the drive, and you’ve got yourself—something that no one else can offer. Go in there and show them why you’re our Sunshine.”

Felix tried to nod, but his nerves only seemed to heighten. The choreography he’d practiced relentlessly blurred in his mind. The moves, so ingrained yesterday, felt foreign now, as if his body had forgotten them entirely. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.

This was his dream—his ticket to something greater than the predictable rhythm of Sydney life. He wanted to see the world, to experience everything life had to offer, and to channel that hunger into his newfound passion for dance. But standing here, under the weight of his aspirations, the pressure felt unbearable.

His phone buzzed.

Y/N: Good luck today! Show them the great person I already know you are. Let your light and warmth shine—that’s what will set you apart. I’ll talk to you later when we hop on Steam :D

He stared at the message, reading it twice, then a third time. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He could almost hear your voice, steady and encouraging, breaking through the storm in his mind. Those words quieted the chaos, grounding him just enough to take a step forward.

The audition itself felt like a blur. The music started, and for a moment, he was paralyzed. Then, like clockwork, the moves came back—sharp, deliberate, and confident. His body knew the choreography better than his mind gave it credit for. By the end, his chest heaved with exertion, but his heart swelled when one of the judges complimented his pronunciation during a short Korean self-introduction.

The waiting afterward was agonizing. Felix paced the holding room, his thoughts looping endlessly. What if he hadn’t done enough? What if this was the end of the road? Yet, there was a quiet reassurance that lingered—the memory of your words. You always seemed to pull him out of the mental traps he built for himself, giving him a clarity he struggled to find alone.

“Congratulations, Lee Felix. Please come to the back room to discuss the details of the trainee program.”

The words hit him like a bolt of lightning. He nearly leaped out of his chair, relief and joy coursing through him in equal measure. He couldn’t believe it—he’d done it. He was in.

Later, in the car, his parents’ cheers filled the air. His mom pulled him into a tight hug, her pride evident even as tears shimmered in her eyes.

“Felix, my son, I’m so proud of you,” she said, her voice choked with emotion. “I’m happy for you, but I’m going to miss you so much….”

Felix could feel the weight of her words in the silence between them. He knew what this meant for both of them—his dream was coming true, but it meant stepping away from everything he knew. His family. You.

He didn’t want to leave, not really. But he had no choice. He had to chase this dream.

When he finally got home, Felix felt the weight of the new reality sink in. He picked up his phone and typed a quick message to you.

Felix: You might as well have been my good luck charm. I got in. Details later :)

For now, Felix chose to live in the moment, holding onto the happiness of his success—and the steady presence of you in his life.

With just four months left before everything changed, there was a sense of urgency in the air, but tonight, the world still belonged to you both. The future was looming, but for now, it was all about enjoying the last moments of freedom before things got complicated.

Felix’s voice crackled through the phone, the tiredness evident in his tone. “I don’t know, Y/N. With everything going on for the trainee program... I don’t have time for this kind of thing.”

You leaned back on your bed, staring at the ceiling as you held your phone to your ear. “Felix, come on. You’re not gonna have many chances left to be irresponsible. This could be the last era of your life to just... let be. You deserve it. Plus, I’ve got leftover liquor from last time. You can pregame with me here.” You smirked to yourself, knowing your words might push him just enough.

Felix sighed, the sound almost exasperated. “I don’t know... I have so much stuff to do for the program. I’m so stressed going out would just add to it”

You rolled your eyes. “Ok. lol. Sounds like another day in your life. No offense. What’s one night? You’ve been working your ass off. Don’t you want to enjoy life while you can? I’m not saying we go crazy, but one night won’t ruin your future. You need to relax.”

There was a long pause on the other end, the only sound being Felix’s deep breath. “Okay, fine,” he finally said, with an almost reluctant chuckle. “You’re right. I need to live in the moment, right? Alright, I’ll come. Let me just check on Liv first, and I’ll be at your place around 10:30.”

“I knew you’d come around,” you teased, your voice light and playful.

A few hours later, after too many shots between the two of you, the night had spiraled into a chaotic, unforgettable high school party at Crystal’s parents’ condo. The place was packed with people, most of them barely legal, all drinking cheap beer and dancing offbeat to Kesha. You and Felix stuck together, navigating the crowd, laughing at the awkwardness of it all.

Felix’s voice came through the phone again, a slight smirk in his tone. “Is this really what we’re going to remember about high school?” he asked, glancing at the crowd.

You grinned, holding your cup up to the phone. “Maybe. But I think it’s the people, not the party. You’re not going to remember every stupid thing that happened, but you’ll remember the faces—the ones that were here for the ride.”

Felix sighed, his voice quieter now, as he watched the madness unfold. “I guess... I just keep thinking about how everything’s about to change. It’s hard to imagine how this will look in a couple months.”

You could hear the shift in his voice, the weight of it. You decided to take a different approach, trying to lighten the mood. “Hey, nothing stays the same. And that’s okay. That’s what makes moments like this so important. You’ve got to soak it all in while you can.”

Felix let out a soft chuckle. “You’re right. Yeah, I guess it’s kind of nice to know that we’ll have this to look back on.” His voice turned a little more serious. “Thanks, Y/N. For getting me to come out tonight.”

You smiled softly, even though he couldn’t see it. “Anytime. We’ve got to enjoy what we’ve got while it lasts.”

Felix’s voice softened. “Yeah, we do.”

The party was in full swing, the music blaring, drinks flowing, and chaos everywhere. You could barely hear anything over the chatter and laughter of your friends, but the tension between you and Felix was palpable. It had always been there, but tonight, it felt different.

Mike, drunker than most, slurred his words as he pushed into Felix. “When are you gonna finally make a move on Y/N?” He laughed, oblivious to the shift in the air, pushing Felix in your direction.

Felix rolled his eyes, but it wasn’t the usual playful response. There was something different in his gaze, something more thoughtful than you were used to seeing. The teasing continued, relentless.

“Sure, sure, I bet you won’t ever make a move at this rate,” Mike teased, turning his attention to you now. The conversation quickly shifted, and you couldn’t help but feel the eyes of everyone on you.

“You should just make the first move at this point. What do you have to lose?” Mike’s words hung in the air, and for a moment, everything seemed to freeze.

You hadn’t really thought about kissing Felix, not like this, not seriously. But in your drunken haze, Mike’s challenge hit something inside you. Maybe you should kiss him. After all, what was the harm?

Felix chuckled nervously, shaking his head. “No way, man,” he muttered, but there was an edge to his voice that told you he was conflicted. The idea of it seemed to hang in the air, pulling at something inside both of you. Something you hadn’t let yourself acknowledge.

Without thinking much further, you blurted out, “I’ll kiss him now. It’s really fine.”

Felix choked on his drink. The words left your mouth before you could stop them. Felix’s eyes widened in shock, his mouth slightly parted as if trying to process what you had just said. “Wait, what? You’re kidding, right?” His voice was tight, but there was an unmistakable flicker of something in his eyes, something that hadn’t been there before.

“You just said it,” Mike teased, a sly grin on his face. “Do it. You’re friends. It’s no big deal, right?”

Felix’s mind was spinning, and for the first time, he saw you in a completely new light. The way your dress hung from your body, the way you’d always laughed around him, but now it felt different, like everything was amplified. Felix blinked, his pulse picking up. He didn’t know what it was—whether it was the alcohol, or the way you’d teased him, or how suddenly everything felt so intimate—but he couldn’t deny it.

Felix shifted uncomfortably, suddenly hyper-aware of the space between you. His eyes flicked to yours, searching, but you were already moving closer. The alcohol dulled his usual caution. His mind raced, his heart pounding as your hand reached up to cup the side of his face. Everything in the room felt like it had stopped moving. His eyes landed on your lips for a split second, and in that instant, it was too late to turn back.

The kiss was soft, tentative at first, but it was enough to send a jolt through both of you. Felix’s hands instinctively found their way to your waist, pulling you closer. Something inside him—something he’d buried deep—flooded to the surface. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was everything you hadn’t admitted to each other. The way he felt about you, the way you’d felt about him for a while now, but never dared to say.

Your lips deepened the kiss, and the world outside of you two seemed to vanish. The other people in the room fell away. You were both lost in the moment, but it wasn’t just the alcohol that made your head spin. It was the way Felix kissed you, the intensity of it. The way your heart raced, not just from the thrill, but from the realization that this meant something more.

As you slowly pulled away, your face was flushed, your head spinning. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol, or if it was the fact that Felix had just crossed the line between friends and something else, something you didn’t know how to name.

“See? No big deal,” you laughed awkwardly, trying to cover the pounding in your chest with casualness.

Felix, still caught in the aftermath of the kiss, looked at you for a long moment. His voice was quieter now, almost hesitant. “Yeah... no big deal,” he echoed, but the way his eyes lingered on you told a different story. He wasn’t sure what had just happened, but he knew it had changed everything.

You both tried to go back to normal, but the tension between you was thick. You couldn’t help but notice the way Felix kept his eyes on you the rest of the night, his gaze occasionally flickering to anyone who seemed to show too much interest in you. You were too drunk to notice the subtle possessiveness in the way he glared at the guys who came too close. Felix assumed you only kissed him because it was him, and that was something he wasn’t ready to share with anyone.

As the night wore on, the games continued—Mario Kart, Super Smash Bros.—but the energy was different. Your competitive banter was laced with something unspoken, the kind of charge that buzzed between you both every time your eyes met. You tried to act like nothing had changed, but you could feel it in the air. So could Felix, though he didn’t dare to bring it up.

Eventually, the night ended, and in a blur of too many drinks and too many moments that felt too real, you ended up at your parents' condo. They were away for the weekend, and there was no way Felix would let you walk home alone—even if you weren’t drunk.

As you stumbled toward the door, Felix’s hand lingered on your back, guiding you with a care that was almost too gentle for the way he had acted earlier. The unspoken words still hung between you, thick with everything that had shifted between you two in a matter of seconds.

And somewhere deep down, you both knew that everything would be different now. You just hadn’t figured out if or how to deal with it yet.

Stumbling into your room, you both lazily kicked off your clothes and changed into your pajamas before slipping into the bed. The room was spinning less now, the alcohol haze from the night lifting, bringing some clarity to the situation. Felix lay beside you, feeling the overwhelming weight of the kiss, his mind spinning with thoughts he couldn’t push away. He felt guilty, especially if you had only kissed him because of peer pressure.

He tried to distract himself by doom scrolling through social media, but his head was still racing, and he just couldn’t shake it. The thought of losing your friendship over a stupid dare seemed like too much to bear.

“Hey…umm…” Felix sighed, turning to face you. “You didn’t have to do that.”

You glanced over at him, noting the distress on his face. “Do what?”

His heart was pounding, his voice tight. “Kiss me. You didn’t have to, you know? I just want to make sure… I don’t want to mess things up.”

You smiled softly, your gaze steady and reassuring. “Lix, if I wasn’t cool with it, I wouldn’t have done it. You know how stubborn I am.”

Felix hesitated, his chest still tight, unsure of how to respond. “I know… I just want to make sure, because I…”

You cut him off gently, your voice quiet but firm. “I hear you. But I enjoyed it.” You paused, your mind replaying the moment that felt frozen in time. “My only complaint? It was too short.”

Felix’s demeanor immediately softened. That magical ease you always had with him worked like a balm for his frayed nerves, the racing thoughts in his head calming at your words. He had been terrified that he might have ruined five years of friendship with a single reckless kiss, but now—now things didn’t seem so impossible.

“Well,” Felix said, a small chuckle escaping his lips, “I guess I owe you a second kiss one of these days.”

You smirked, inched closer to him, and whispered, “Why wait? Let’s make it ‘one of these days’ right now. YOLO, right?”

Felix laughed nervously, his heart doing a strange flip in his chest. His mind was still caught between the confusion of his emotions and the weight of the consequences of crossing this line. What was the point of pushing the envelope? Things were already changing in both of your lives; maybe you should just leave your friendship the way it was.

But all that went out the window the moment your lips met his again.

This time, there was no pressure. Just the two of you, lost in the moment. Your lips danced together, slow and intricate, matching each other’s pace. Before either of you knew it, you had shifted on top of him, straddling his waist, his hands finding their place on your hips, his fingers brushing against your bare skin.

Felix had touched you before, but never like this. The sensation sent electric waves up both of your spines, and the world outside of the two of you seemed to disappear. You pulled away slowly, your breath quiet in the stillness.

“That was nice…” Felix whispered, his voice barely audible as he pulled you back down beside him.

You snuggled closer, your voice soft and sleepy. “Yeah. It was. Can we do that again?”

Felix didn’t answer with words. Instead, he kissed you again, and again, and again, each kiss a little deeper, a little more heated than the last. Slowly, you both relaxed into each other’s embrace, falling asleep tangled together, content and peaceful.

Just two friends, sharing a moment, and nothing more….right?

______________________________________________________

Just temperature checking if people like this... If this is something that intrigues you. leave me an message in the ask box.

[sugarphoric]

bsf!suguru silently draping his jacket over your shoulders seeing you shiver in the summer night; youre always forgetting how cold it gets during the dark, almost mocking the heavy, suffocating heat earlier that day. nightly walks, a quiet routine you two fell into some day; often times it was a short stroll to wind down from the day, releshing in each others presence. no need to exchange words, you both already understood what each other were thinking, but really, to fully engage in the present existence of each other without unnecessary distractions.

bsf!suguru noticing how you hum softly to express your gratitude + content, shifting the fabric closer to your body, pulling up the hood while taking in a deeper breath inhaling his scent.

bsf!suguru slowing his pace with each step trying to stretch out the night as long as possible.

bsf!suguru seeing you take more frequent breaks, yawn, rub at your legs to build up some heat (the jacket helped, but you wish sugu had a pair of pants you could also borrow to cover up your exposed legs from the (way too) cooling breeze).

now, hes a gentleman (especially to you), and hes never going to make you uncomfortable (whether its from him or from this damned 40 degrees) so how about offering you a piggyback ride for the remainder of the walk before you head off to your respective dorms?

bsf!suguru softening with each of your soft giggles as you run your fingers through his scalp, playing with his hair, soon turning to soft snores right next to his ears- a soft smile fighting his lips to appear (its already showing in his blown out pupils eyes). clinging your arms around his neck with legs around his waist like a koala, pressing as close as possible to hold onto this source of warmth, he basks in your assuring weight on him. mellow laughs as your hair tickles his face. his hands on your thighs, providing support and heat (he wishes you were holding onto him from the front baby steps)

bsf!suguru stilling as he sees your dorm come close in the distance. how he prays for just a second longer with you, before moving once more, even slower than before (if that was even possible), melting in your infrequent babbles from a dream, soft groans while shifting, content hums and sighs when he speaks (his soft, deep voice reverberating through your sleep induced body, a steady vibration guiding you to be more restful). his zephyr-like songs of leathery "shh's", quiet praises, even quieter needs wants of you (it all falls on empty ears, but that doesnt mean his love is not reciprocated (the day comes closer as each night passes))

bsf!suguru squeezing your legs just a bit, raising his voice just a bit to wake you up. "angel? weve made it back to your dorm, lets get you inside okay?". he forces himself to not dwell on your hitched breath from waking up, to not dwell on how your lips graze the side of his neck as you mumble an incoherent "youre the best, sugu", to not dwell on how you wrap his jacket even closer than before as you slip out of his grasp, longing mixed in your half-asleep eyes as you reluctantly open your door to your room. he bends down coming face-to-face with you, so close to exchange your breaths with one another. he cups your face with one hand, your tired-driven mind letting you fall deep into his touch, before letting out an almost silent, slow,

"... stay? please sugu?"

and who is he, the gentleman, to deny his world you when you ask so nicely, using as many tactics you can think of to make him do what you oh so wished(he knows that you know that your shining eyes, your pleads, paired with his nickname will always get you what you want)

best friend be damned as he picks you up princess style, laying you on your bed before ridding you and him both of your respective footwear. you immediately roll on top of him as he lies down, him letting out a surprised laugh as you fall chest to almost chest, face resting on his steady heartbeat. his hands are already on its way to rub small circles right below the nape of your neck, while the other rests on the small of your back.

its not long before the two of you fall asleep, serene smiles shared in the promises of darkness. (and maybe youll wake up to soft kisses pressed on your hairline, and he'll wake up to shy confessions (and maybe, just maybe, the soft kisses wont stop at just your hairline)) ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

[ngage2003]

✰ Some of Gage's Tim Wright DID Headcanons/Ideas (DIDeas, hey get it?)

Ok so I have talked a fair bit on my blog about Tim being a system, but I wanted to make a post real quick talking about several ideas I have around his systemhood bc I am going crazy and need to share them.

✦ Hey! If you like this and want to hear more about my Tim system stuff, check out my tag #ng.systim.

Alright, so I think a lot of/most of Tim's system has been around for a very long time, as in he doesn't split too often. Usually when they do, parts end up getting reabsorbed, leading to a very small system count that the active parts are aware of.

(Of course, there are always some parts hiding in headspace/the subconscious, but they're impossible to find unless they want to be.)

I think Tim's system doesn't have a headspace in the stereotypical sense, and generally when they're not fronting, it is sort of like they're asleep, though I think people like Masky would object to that characterization because he doesn't ever really sleep/dream. Usually when he goes to bed, Tim wakes up.

✱ Speaking of "Masky"! I have talked about this a couple times but I think he would end up going by the name "Angel" after hearing about the concept of Guardian Angels, as that is literally what he is to Tim. I also see him as a sort of "Protector" archetype, having formed probably around the same time that Tim did as a young child and acting to take on dealing with the trauma for him.

I think Masky's femininity comes from the fact that they (the system as a whole) as a young child idolized their mother as this protective force, this bulwark that was impenetrable and fierce and powerful. They tied all that to her femininity to some extent, and when Masky formed, they were feminine because that was what they associated with strength and protection.

I think Tim and Masky are somewhat equals though, but Masky is also deeply in love with Tim in the way only a protector alter can be. "My purpose is to keep you safe and I love you for it." It is this genuine deep affection, and I think if Tim were to discover Masky, there could be some proper feelings returned eventually after the initial scare.

"Ok but if Masky loves Tim so much why does he work with Brian and get their leg broken??"

Well, I think Brian was both of their first best friend. Whenever Tim was overstimulated and/or scared, whether that be by people or an upcoming final, Masky would front. Brian obviously didn't know this and was just like, "huh wow my buddy Tim is being weird and quiet!" And his kindness left a profound effect on Masky.

Early in Marble Hornets, Masky visits Brian's house regularly despite him being long gone, locking it when he isn't there. Yeah it is a mess, but its being watched over.

I think Brian approached him after Jay got the tapes to ask for his help. I think before then, Brian was in hiding but this isn't a post about him. I think despite being a protector, Masky agreed to help Brian because of how kind he was to him, a mistake he later fully rescinds when Brian causes Tim to have a seizure.

Masky deeply regrets this, and is in turmoil after it for the rest pf the series, leading to their spotty fronting besides protecting Tim in Entry 65 after once again being triggered out by seizures.

Ok that is enough rehashing of other older points lets talk about the idea of— ✱ Other Parts

I think its very possible that Tim at least has a little alter. I haven't given it too much thought, but I think there is stuff hidden around their living space for the little¹, crayons and pencils and spare papers, these doodles hidden under the bed. I also think they have a stuffed animal from when Tim was a kid at one, something Tim keeps meaning to throw out but always ends up back in bed.

[1] An alter/part that earnestly believes they are and acts younger than the body. They aren't real kids but often will experience distress at being reminded of that or not treated like a kid, and generally will struggle with emotional reasoning or processing stuff, as a child might. Often they're the most protected members of a system.

I think there is probably several points where they accidentally front in front of other people, but Tim's little is very anxious and quiet, leading to them being undetected.

I could honestly see them fronting while Tim and Jay are living at motels for that brief period of time, and Jay just being confused why Tim suddenly got emotional and started crying a bit and not communicating. (The little doesn't have their plush and is upset.)

Jay ends up sitting with him and rubbing his back, and it feels like such a crazy thing to do with Tim of all people—stalwart, endlessly brave Tim—but Jay does it, and it helps.

I think Jay doesn't mention it tomorrow because he doesn't want to upset/embarrass Tim and quite obviously, Tim doesn't remember.

I think Tim's childhood stuffed animal is a dog of some kind, and he simply forgot to bring it.

Alsooo I do not think Tim's system really has introjects²? (I say this mostly because I don't know what the fuck media they'd be from lmao.) But I do think there is an alter which holds more of the musical talent between them all. Not all of it, but they just remember more. I think they also know how to play piano along with ukulele and if given the chance they'd love to make little ditties to impress people.

[2] Alters whose personalities are based off of an interpretation of a character held by another specific alter or the general subconscious. Sometimes they think of themselves literally as the character but not always.

I don't have a name for them, as I don't really either for the little, but this bard I think would enjoy dressing a bit more colorful than Tim usually does.

Also could see them having a very aggressive persecutor³-trauma holder alter who split off of Masky during when they were in the hospital. Generally I think Masky was even more aggressive during this time due to his system feeling so threatened and dehumanized and him feeling powerless to protect/take care of them, and it resulted in a very harsh split after Masky lit the fire in the hospital to escape. This led to them "chilling out" a bit for college, but also a very aggressive persecutor who lurks in the back of their mind.

[3] Put it simply, a protector who doesn't know how to be a protector. Persecutors are often very angry about the trauma and very hurt, leading to them lashing out and trying to reenact trauma or push people away or whatever. They tend to be very emotional and hurt, and its important to empathize with them as a way to help them heal. Unfortunately no one in systim has done this yet.

I think their appearance in headspace would almost be sort of fiery/charred, this representation of retribution and anger that lashes out when anyone gets close. I could see them also having a mask since they split off from Masky, and were this product of futile rage that developed into something new! Though also obviously their mask would look a bit different. I dunno, that'd be fun.

(For us, if alters split off from one another like that, like if they're a part of that alter which splits off or a specific trauma, they will often look to some degree similar!)

I think they would very rarely front, at least on their own. Masky would be very cautious about that, and about them hurting the body or other people by lashing out. Because even when Masky is helping Brian or angry, he usually still has somewhat enough of a mind to be careful and deep down his main priority is Tim. (Though he doesn't always behave wisely/good and we loveeee a flawed protector 😁)

Anyway yeah those are my main thoughts I am a bit tired rn lol I might rb this with more later I hope you enjoyeddd

[tj-dragonblade]

[Fluffbruary Fic] Learning From Old Mistakes

Fandom: The Sandman Pairing: Dreamling Rated: T Word Count: 1284 Tags: Fluffbruary, Fluffbruary 2025, pre-relationship, future fic, a few years post-reunion, we're ignoring comics canon, mild violence

Notes: This could have been fluffier, but. C'est la vie. Possibly could be the same continuity as Mementos, a few years earlier. Maybe I'll come up with a series name and link them later.

Fluffbruary 2025 Prompts: Day 1: dark | defend | wander Day 2 : ocean | jest | patience Day 3 : uncertainty | myth | pause

Summary: Hob and Dream are accosted by a thief on their way home one evening

On AO3

"Hey—!"

Hob pivots abruptly on the pavement, lunges behind Dream, and there is an answering yelp.

Whirling in turn, Dream finds that Hob has caught a would-be thief—an armed one, no less.

"Fuck off!" the thief snarls, swinging at Hob with a small knife and yanking at his captive arm.

"Don't think so," Hob grunts, letting go to catch the fist with the knife in both hands. He twists the weapon up and out, pushing the man back—away from Dream.

David Brown, nineteen years old, Dream ascertains of their assailant. His life has not been kind.

"Leggo! Lemme go!" David is yelling, but Hob is unswayed.

"No, you think you're going to threaten my friend? Oh, you are very much mistaken, kid." Hob's grin is fierce, frightening. They are fifteen minutes or so from Hob's home, still, a relatively quiet part of the city more industrial than not; there is no one around despite the early-evening hour and Hob has backed David into the alley they were passing, pressed him against the wall. "You picked the wrong target."

David is panicking, Dream can see; he had thought them an easy mark—easy to intimidate, easy to rob, and he does not know what to do now that his minimal plan has gone utterly awry. He lashes out, unrestrained fist swinging for Hob's head.

Hob avoids the hit, twists, punches David in the stomach and David goes down, knife falling from his grasp as he tumbles backwards with a cry. Hob is advancing, ready to hit again, but Dream steps in. A breath of his sand and David is out, dropping into a deep slumber sheperded by dreams of peace and plenty.

"That's one way to end it, I suppose," Hob says, tone almost disappointed, his stance relaxing somewhat. He glances back at Dream. "You're alright?"

"What harm do you imagine he might have done me?" Dream lets his amusement color his voice.

"He meant to rob us, Dream."

"I have no pockets to pick, Hob Gadling."

"Yeah, well. Had a knife, didn't he."

"A sizeable blade, certainly, which surely would have wrought terrible injury to one such as I."

Hob rolls his eyes. "Alright, alright, I get it—I need not come to your defense, you're unfathomably beyond human understanding. Just." He glances down at David sleeping on the ground, tugs at his earlobe. "Maybe I think you're worth protecting, is all. Maybe you deserve someone looking out for you just in case your phenomenal cosmic powers get thwarted."

Dream has not forgotten the first time Hob leapt to his defense, with a ready teacup and fists primed to follow; he had been amused then as well, but this time—

Maybe I think you're worth protecting.

Such words are unexpected, and sit warm in Dream's chest.

He will examine this feeling later.

"Damned hoodlums always looking for an easy mark," Hob is muttering, still looking down at David, kicking lightly at one foot.

"He is homeless, and hungry," Dream offers, "and short on choices."

Hob's face goes through several different expressions in the span of a heartbeat, falling into something like resignation. "Ah, hell." He steps back, sighs deeply. "There's better options than this, kid, c'mon." He takes out his wallet, pulls out a card with the New Inn's logo emblazoned across it. "Dream, can you let him wake?"

"Of course." It is barely a thought to draw David's consciousness back up from his realm.

David blinks awake, startles to find Hob crouched beside him.

"Peace, kid," Hob says, before David can speak. "Not interested in hurting you or pressing charges or anything. Here." He offers the card. "Go to this address. Show the barkeep this card. They'll get you a good meal, no charge. If you need a place to stay, they can put you up. If you're interested in finding work, they can help you out. If you need to get clean they can connect you with the right resources."

"…what?" David is blinking, flummoxed, wary.

"Go to the New Inn," Hob says patiently, indicating the card again. "Show this to the barkeep. They can get you a meal and a room for the night. Can help with finding work and getting clean, if needed. My cousin owns the place and the staff are very hands-on with community involvement and stepping up when people need help. I'll put you in a cab, if you like, or you can walk there in about an hour." He waggles the card.

"…Was set to rob you," David says, then, reaching for the card uncertainly, pausing, pulling his hand back halfway. "Why…why would you—?"

"I've been there," Hob says, matter-of-fact. "I remember starving in the streets. I've hurt people for my own survival. A kind hand made a difference to me more than once. Maybe the Inn can be a kind hand for you. At the very least you can get a good meal."

Tentatively, David takes the card.

Hob calls a cab, pays the driver and sends David on his way to the New Inn, which Hob had sold to his 'cousin' two years ago, effectively leaving it in the hands of the loyal long-term staff he'd gathered over the decades he'd called it home. David is wary and tired, jaded, ready for disappointment, but there is a glimmer of hope within the boy all the same.

"Shall we?" Hob asks, offering his arm once David's cab has driven off; a gallant gesture, accompanied by a broad and charming smile, and that warmth in Dream's chest stirs. I think you're worth protecting. He recalls the way Hob had smiled at him after dispatching Constantine's minions, notes how the smile he wears now is softer around the edges but much the same.

"Of course," Dream says, curling his hand into the crook of Hob's elbow, and the warmth in his chest unfurls a little more.

~

Hob can't help the way his smile grows as Dream actually accepts his offered arm. He'll say nothing of it, of course; it wouldn't do to spook him. 1889 was enough to drive that lesson home and he has tempered his approach since then.

He can be a patient man, after all. He has had a lot of practice. He'd waited for Dream after 1989 and been richly rewarded for that faith thirty-odd years later. He's allowed to call Dream 'friend' with all sincerity, now, and with meetings far more frequent than once a century, the last decade or so has been absolutely enlightening. He's learned Dream's name, finally, six hundred years or so into their acquaintance. He's been trusted with the truth of Dream's absence from their last centennial meeting. He's been trusted with some measure of explanation as to Dream's function in the universe, and he even understands some of it. He knows that Dream likes his tea with four spoonfuls of sugar, a splash of milk, and a story when possible. He knows Dream better than he'd ever dared to hope he might by now, lending depth and weight to his easy claim of friendship and honestly? Hob thinks he might be starting to feel a little more than friendship, perhaps, but he's definitely not going to examine that possibility any time soon. What he's got right now is more than enough, is cherished and hard-won, and he has the patience to let it grow as it will for as long as it must.

He places his hand over Dream's tucked into his elbow, delighted to have his old-fashioned offering accepted, to be allowed the touch, to be gifted with Dream's small smile in return; together they stroll on through the evening toward his home.

= Started: 1/31/25 Drafted: 2/2/25 Posted: 2/3/25

[mojo-bro-tho]

In the deepest part of night, voices always run high. A Warden’s mind is never fully clear, never fully still. Always tattering seams at the edges of the brain or gnawing maws scrapping around the interior of their skulls. And it’s never consistent either.

At first it’s debilitating and insomnia inducing. The fear of sleeping becomes commonplace. Many younger Wardens try to keep themselves awake for as long as possible just to avoid it. That only gets worse the younger the Warden is.

Then, as time marches on, they get used to it. Some claim they can block it out entirely but what they really mean to say is that they smother their own dreams. Buried beneath heaps of grey matter and exhaustion. That’s as good as it gets.

And finally, they get older. Their own blood a slow moving poison that muddies the senses. Sleep is… easier. But that only unlocks a new fear. It’s nice to sleep again. It’s not the Calling, not yet, but it’s closer now. They’re afraid to go to sleep because it feels good again and when they wake up they’re even more afraid because they wished they hadn’t woken up.

Warden Thorne can fight it most times for whatever constitutes as night in the Fade. They don’t tell Davrin, because if they told Davrin then well, he’d know what it means. Rook doesn’t want that. They don’t want to see that look of knowing in someone’s eyes and have themselves become a reminder of what’s on the horizon.

So Rook will seek a different comfort. Knocking softly on the wooden door and mere moments later being greeted to the smell of a fire, fresh aftershave, and leather. Emmrich peers down at them, confused but not unwelcoming. Rook was not normally up so early, he thought to himself. In truth, no one was besides himself.

They looked tired. Still dressed in their night clothes that perhaps reveals a tad more skin than what he was expecting from them. Of course, he wouldn’t say anything as it’s improper to make those sorts of comments. Not like he’s against the sight either, you’d have to be a fool to not enjoy the sight of them like this.

“Bad dreams, my dear?” He asked, voice slightly lower than he usually kept it on account of not having used it much yet that day.

“Something like that.” Rook didn’t like to lie.

“I was just about to retrieve Manfred and have him make my morning tea. Would you care to join me?”

It was a polite request. Emmrich would never turn down the opportunity to spend more time with Rook, least of all when they looked so softened by the early morning. They smiled in a way that nestled against Emmrich’s heart. Only to then see a glimmer of something else to twist it.

“Maybe after.” Rook’s whispered. The question of ‘after what?’ only lasted for a few seconds.

Rook’s lips found Emmrich’s, entirely devoid of any barriers of modesty. It was a fervent, hungry clash that despite it taking him by surprise he was able to swiftly match it in intensity. No one was around for him to worry about keeping up appearances. So Emmrich swept them inside by the small of Rook’s waist.

The heat of their body seared into Emmrich’s hand even through the night clothes. And he clung to it as though to seep the life out of Rook. Warm, alive, vibrant, if only he could siphon it to meet them half way.

Little did he know that Rook felt something quite similar boiling under the surface. That need for a comma rather than a period, or an ellipses, more likely an exclamation point that always came at the end. They wanted what Emmrich had. Continuation. If only they could bottle up Emmrich’s experience and cram it directly into their singing bloodstream.

Both starved for touch and a lapse in reality that could be temporarily soothed by the screech of a desk being misused. Scars didn’t bother Emmrich and a few wrinkles were never unwelcomed by Rook. There was still enough life in both of them to enjoy this carnal craving.

The tattered seams became the shift and strain of clothing being wrenched away. A gnawing maw replaced lips stuck between teeth, pressed into the neck. Voices melted into hums of approval. Grunts and moans and commands that could make them forget and force them to listen.

Now that was a calling that Warden Rook could get behind.

[shiiro-arts]

Don’t be shy ~ tell us the possibilities/theories based on the new chapter (love hearing your thoughts !)

wouldn't you like to know weather boy

I'm kidding, here is what I have so far :D

BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR FAIRY TAIL 100 YEAR QUEST, I'M WARNING YALL

Obviously, new star dress, or at least something that resembles it since mercuphobia is not a spirit, let's call it "dragon dress" (I'm really basic let me be)

New moments with lucy as the main heroine = “the one who saves the day” instead of natsu

Not necessarily dragon slayer magic, but dragon magic unlocked for lucy, aka, fighting dragons without the need of wendy’s enchantment

The prebious thought leading to Lucy being essential for the fight against Ignia

Using aquarius's key first, “something bad happens(referring to that panel)” forcing herself to use the water dragon god and unlocking the dress? (he probably needs an ungodly amount of magic to summon)

Posible unison raid with Natsu? (two dragon roars), now knowing that perhaps natsu gets new fire powers that could damage Ignia+Lucy's new water dragon god's powers, it would be really cool.

Possible new keys (in the future) + new star dresses + new star dress mix (or the concept of them)

Lucy becoming incredible versatile (she already is but they don’t use it nearly as enough as they should)

Lucy vs Ignia??? (not a full on fight but enough to buy some time, maybe distract him from something)

Ignia vs mercuphobia? (lucy summons him)

Natsu fails to defeat Ignia, loses control because of those flames and lucy confronts him with her new powers? (a girl can dream okey???)

So far so good, I want to imagine that this new power up for her means that she becomes essential for the future final fight

Even more knowing that Natsu could very likely lose control, and Lucy having the powers of the WATER dragon god makes it just perfect

I just hope that Mashima cooking big time rn and that he uses this opportunity not only to develop nalu, but finally clean Lucy's name because my girl gets too much hate for absolutely no reason