#it’s only right that the doc dons a cloak

[lupescx]

it was a dark and stormy night…!

[iilovemusic12us]

That Damn Reserve Chute

Joe Toye x Reader

Thanks @aselovestofly for all your help❤️

The steady breeze off the English Channel was the only thing keeping your mind still. A silence falling over the airfield, it was deafening. The only sound that could be heard was the leather boots hitting the pavement. Your usual nerves of steel slowly turning into mush. You felt your heart plummet into your stomach as those deep army green C-47’s came into view. Something was not right. You have checked over everything multiple times, taking your gear off just to strap it all back on again. Your gut screamed at you to not get onto that plane. Usually your instincts were right, but you have trained for two long years for your position with Easy company. The obstacle courses, running Curahee as fast or even faster than the men. Upstaging Sobel in the most graceful way and that earned you the mens respect. This is where you were supposed to be. You nibbled on your bottom lip trying to rein in your thoughts.

All the gear weighed heavily on you. Making the weight of your concern feel like nothing. A cold sweat making its home on your skin. Finally, spotting Joe Toye you took your seat on the concrete in between his legs. Bill Guarnere doing the same to you. Joe was probably the only man in this company you were closest to. You loved all the men, but Joe held a special place in your heart. It was wrong to feel this way going into this war, so you just pushed your feelings into the back of your mind.

Joe studied you as you rested on him. He could see the muscles in your jaw tighten, the palms of your hands running back and forth on your thigh. He has never seen you act like this, which only concerned him more. Without another thought his long arm rubbed the side of yours in reassurance. You stilled feeling his hand on your bicep. The warmth of his hand lit a fire in you. The feeling of dread dissipating and being replaced with tenderness for the man behind you. You turned your head catching a glimpse of his usual stoic expression. But as you locked eyes, the corners of his mouth turned up. It was a quick glance, but it was everything you needed in this moment. You did not even hear Winter’s speak, your mind plagued with Joe’s face.

The thought was quickly disrupted as you felt a weight lift off your leg. Winter’s helped Bill stand to board the plane. Your nerves quickly returning. Winter’s hand reached for yours. Gladly taking it you looked up at him. He nodded at you, as if it was a silent goodbye. This made all the sickly dread return. Your mind was being cruel, the emotions swirling like a perfect storm.

Waiting to just get on the plane was painful, your stomach churning. The men struggled to get on, and you just wanted to recheck everything for the hundredth time. Your hands shaking so bad, you gripped your reserve chute. Trying to hide your nerves. As you tried stepping onto the plane, you slipped on the ladder. Joe gripped your hips and tried to steady you and much as he could. Malarkey, who was already inside and pulled you in. Nodding as a quick thanks, you walked to your seat on the bench. Malarkey sat across from you and Joe took a seat next to you. His dark eyes clouded with an emotion you could not make out. The low rumble of the engines starting cut through the silence, like a knife cutting through butter. Instead of the usual excitement, your gut started yelling at you to get off. Your face hardened as the realization of this is it, hit you. One hand still gripping your reserve chute, you placed the other on the bench next to Toye. You gripped the bench with all your might to stop the shaking in your hands. Joe noticed your knuckles turning white, and against his better judgement he grabbed your hand prying it off the bench and placing it in his. No one noticed this small little action, as they were all caught up in their own thoughts. A smile ghosting over your lips. Your E/C eyes met his and nothing was said. If you made it through the night, maybe then you would finally tell him how you felt. The fire in your belly returning and making all your nerves freeze. Neither of you let go, cherishing this small moment. You leaned your head back against the cold metal of the plane. Joe was your anchor and you could not be any more thankful.

You stew in these thoughts with the occasional glance at Joe. You caught him staring at you once or twice and you are grateful the cam paint covers your blushing cheeks. The rumble of shells exploding brought you both out of your trance. The apprehension making its way through your veins and making your stomach flip. You squeezed Joe’s hand tighter knowing this was it. Winters stood hastily and signaled for everyone to hook up. As you stood Joe released your shaking hand. Malarkey was behind you and Joe stood tall in front of you, almost like he was guarding you from the outside world. “Sound off for Equipment Check” Winters yelled the best he could over the noise. Your shaking hands checked Joe, and you felt the bile slowly rise and sit in your throat.

All of a sudden the plane jerked hard to the left. You slammed into the bench guarding your face with your hands. Joe gripped your forearm lifting you up. You felt tiny physically and mentally. The foreboding feeling swallowing you whole. The men started sounding off quickly, as the sound of explosions became louder. Not being able to scream, you slapped Joe in the arm. Before you could even process what was happening, a green light turned on and everyone shuffled out the door. Your skin paled, as you reached the door.

Everything happened swiftly. The wind howling and the expanding of your parachute, the night sky illuminated by the ammunition exploding. You made it this far, and a sense of hope filled you. As you slowly descended you heard a large rip from above. Almost like someone ripped a shirt in half out of rage. Your once slow decent quickened as you free fell the rest of the way to the ground. The green grass getting closer and closer. You let out an ear piercing scream as you reached for the red strap of on your reserve chute. The chute wouldn’t release, tugging the cord with all your strength nothing happened. You started to try and reach for things that were not there. All of a sudden time started too slow. Your life flashing before your eyes and the life you possibly could have had with Joe. A wave of peace overcame you with the images of Joe cradling a baby in his arms. A smile gracing his features as he looked up at you. Then everything went black.

Joe heard your scream and watched the scene in horror. You rapidly fell toward the ground, no sign of the release chute opening. As you got closer to the ground your body went limp. You looked like a rag doll being tossed in the air between two kids. Joe’s heart left his body as he saw you swallowed by a tree. Joe kept watching for where you fell, not wanting to forget where you hit.

He landed on the ground with a soft thud and ripped off his parachute, not sparing a second. Grabbing his things he charged toward where he last saw you. His heart pounding, the adrenaline coursing through his body.

The sight he saw once he reached you would stick with him forever. You laid on top your reserve chute that was ripped from the bag on your chest. The once white material splattered with crimson dots. Your face scratched making you barely recognizable. Your right leg was twisted in a way that made Joe sick. He dropped to his knees, grabbing you and looking for some sort of movement from you. He laid his head on your chest hearing the slow thump of your heart. A noise that was almost inhuman rose from him and passed his lips. You were still here and alive.

Footsteps broke through the silence and Joe turned, pointing his gun toward the sound, trying to shield you. “Flash” someone whispered. “Thunder”. Joe responded lowering his weapon. Bill and Malarkey walked toward Joe, seeing the horrendous sight in front of them. They were both frozen. A coughing sound came from behind Joe and he jumped. Your eyes were open, and you were coughing up blood. The two other men ran toward you. Joe gently tried to turn you on your side, so you would not choke. You were gasping for air and all the men could do was watch. A sliver of air was able to reach your lungs and the coughing slowed. Joe lightly holding on to your arm. “That damn reserve chute” you said through the coughs. The men were speechless, Joe was scared to blink, thinking you would disappear. The shock your body was going through made you feel better, but it was cloaking all damage. “You need to move Joe.” You whispered. Your E/C eyes scanned his face to see only terror covering his features. “We are not leaving you Y/N”. Joe demanded. You looked at him knowing there was no way you could move. The men looked at each other having a silent conversation. “We can carry you” Bill whispered. An idea popped into Joe’s head.

All you could remember was the colors of the sun rise and Joe occasionally leaning over you to make sure you are still breathing. You slipped in and out of consciousness that whole night. The men wrapped the reserve chute around your body so tight, you could not move. They carried you all the way to the assembly area. You did not even hear them meet up with Winters and Lipton.

The assembly area came into view and Joe breathed out a sigh of relief. Hope filled his chest and the aching in his muscles seized from carrying you. You would be okay. Bill ran ahead trying to find Doc or any medic to help. Joe and Don set you down on the grass, while they waited for a medic. Luckily you had some morphine in your first aid kit and it help reduced the pain that would come in waves. Joe sat next to you, lightly brushing some of the dirt away from the cut on your cheek. You looked over at him, tears filling your eyes. You tried to calm yourself because as your breath sped up the pain in your body amplified. Joe’s tough exterior crumbled right in front of you.

“You’ll be alright Y/N. You will be getting help soon.” A small sob escaped your lips at his words. The salt from your tears burning the cuts that littered your face. “Joe. This was not supposed to happen.” The pain in your body dragging you back into the dark abyss of unconsciousness. Before you were completely out, you felt Joe lean his head down next to yours and you swore he whispered an “I love you”.

- - - - -

You woke up to hear the small cooing of a baby from the other room. You grabbed your long robe and hurriedly walk down the hall to see Joe with his crutches standing over the wooden crib. A smile graces your face and the feeling of love for this man spreading through your chest. All of a sudden the memory of you seeing Joe standing in this exact spot as you fell through the sky consumed your mind. You did not even notice the man of your dreams hobble over to you. Gently placing a hand on your waist, he left a burning kiss on your cheek.

“What is it Y/N?”

“Just thinking about that damn reserve chute”

[niqhtlord01]

Rooster Teeth Mortal Kombat Championship Presses on!  Things have been getting a bit tense behind the scenes for Yasamin and Yang. Incidentally, when the Union Spy learned that the Blues tank Sheila was in fact a smart tank he promptly attempted to steal it. Unfortunately just as his original mission went he failed to gather basic information on how to drive the damn thing prompting Sheila to then kidnap him and take him on a joy ride. (For her at least, pretty sure he’s gagging on exhaust fumes at this point)  Miranda: *Strider walks in, Miranda jumps out of the cockpit.” Velvet: I’m sorry, but could you do that again? My lens cap was on.  Miranda: I’m not some model for you to gawk at.  Velvet: *Copies Scythe* I know. You’re not nearly as good looking as Coco.  Glynda: *Strides in and snaps riding crop* O’Malley: Am I meant to be afraid of a dominatrix with a bad attitude? Glynda: I’ll make you pay for your flippant tongue. O’Malley: *Loads rocket launcher* It’s no fun for banter if you just prove my point.  Nemesis: *Nanotech cloud appears and forms Nemesis* Yang: How am I supposed to punch a cloud?  Nemesis: After I rip off your arm, I’m sure you’ll think of something.  Yang: *Cocks shotgun wrists* I’d like to see you try.  Ruby: * Whirlwinds in with raining rose petals* Caboose: We meet again cookie thief.  Ruby: You shouldn’t have hid them from me.  Caboose: *Pulls out a spork* I hid them so well even I don’t know where they are, and that makes me very angry!  Adam: *Lands on the ground, rolls, then draws sword* Kaikaina: The all black look is kinda hot.  Adam: It symbolizes all that my people have lost. Kaikaina: *Draws dual smgs* uggggh. They should call you “The Desert” because you just dry things up.  Doc: *Walks on stage charging plasma pistol* Valentina: Ah Doctor, I find myself in need of your services.  Doc:  If it’s cutting things off or sewing things back on then I’m your man! Valentina: *Draws knives* And here I was worried I’d have to go back to Tijuana for service.  Sheila: *Rolls on to the stage* US: *Attempts to jump into cockpit, but Sheila swats him away* Sheila: Did you honestly think that would work?  US: *Stands up and stretches* It wouldn’t have been the first time I tried something crazy.  O’Malley: *Walks on stage loading rocket launcher* Cammie: You know you’re a fucking psycho right? O’Malley: A psycho with a rocket launcher you may note. Cammie: *Nugget hops on her shoulder* Right, forgot about the rocket launcher. Tyrian: *Walks in laughing, wrist axes opening and closing* Grif: How do you put pants on with that tail? Tyrian: That’s the first thing that comes to mind for you?  Grif: *Shrugs* It’s the only interesting thing about you.  Weiss: *Falls from the sky jumping off her magic circles before landing* Caboose: Are you after my snacks as well magic lady?  Weiss:  I don-  Ruby: *Shouts from crowd* Beat him and I’ll leave you alone for a whole week! Weiss: YES! I AM HERE FOR YOUR SNACKS BLUE PERSON!  Jaune: *Strikes dramatic pose with sword before the sword falls out of his hand.* US: Your name reminds me of someone from my world.  Jaune: Really? Did their story have a happy ending?  US: *Coin turns into nanotech* That depends on how well done you like your steak.  Yasamin: *Walks in cracking neck* Tucker: Baby are you gravity, because I’m falling for you.  Yasamin: That would be the cliff I just threw you off of for such a bad pun. Tucker: *Draws energy sword* Playing hard to get, I like that.  WFL: *Walks in dragging chainsaw, sparks flying everywhere* Sarge: Son, I’d suggest you get a real weapon instead of that over-sized lumberjack thing-a-ma-jig. WFL:  This is all the weapon I need to cut up my enemies.  Sarge: *Cocks shotgun* You can cut people up with anything but you don’t see me bringing a spork to a battlefield.  Nora: *Smashes through nearby wall with hammer* Donut: Love the light-ish red you’re rocking. Nora: You mean pink? Donut: *Draws battle rifle* No, I mean light-ish red!  Church: *Looking down sights of sniper rifle* Rufus: I’m told you’re an artificial program.  Church: I was having mixed feelings about beating up an old man, but you’ve just helped resolve those for me by calling me a program.  Rufus:  *pushes glasses up bridge of nose, Caliban steps in next to him* Note to self, seems this one is a bit touchy about being called a program.  Valentina: *Removes camouflage cloak* Caboose: I need your help spooky lady.  Valentina: It will cost you greatly.  Caboose: *Pulls out a bag of cookies* To hide my snacks I would pay anything; expect my snacks because I will need to eat them later. 

[ssironstrange]

Hawks of Nephthys pt. 3

I thought this was going to be the final part but i was wrong lmao sorry there will be one more after this.

(read part 2)

tagging: @im-trying-to-be-oky

     “There’s going to be a small ceremony held for the technique Christine and I came up with,” Stephen licked his lips, actually nervous for the first time in years. “I’d like you to come… as my date.”

     Tony waved a hand and the holographic screens were pushed away. It was obvious he was trying not to smile.

     “Are you sure? What happened to being afraid of it tarnishing your reputation?”

     “I don’t need reputation. My work speaks for itself. Besides, it’s no skin off my back if someone would rather have less capable hands operate on them just because I’m dating a man.”

     Tony rolled his chair away from the desk, stood and walked around it to meet Stephen where he stood fidgeting with the cuffs of his sleeves.

     “Well it’s about damn time. I hate keeping secrets, you know.”

     “I know,” Stephen smiled with soft fondness. “And please—leave the armor here.”

     “Party pooper.”

     “Another time.”

     “Fine. I’m holding you to that. You’re gonna have a date with Iron Man one of these days. At that nice Italian place we like. Full armor. Might not even take the mask off.”

     Stephen couldn’t roll his eyes hard enough, yet he laughed anyway.

     Stephen opened a portal right beside where Steve stood in one of the compound’s many conference rooms.

     No one seemed particularly surprised.

     Except for Peter Quill who was still live on their view screen and apparently scrambled to get Gamora’s attention about it.

     “You found his ship? Him?”

     “We believe so. Picked up an old signal on the frequencies common to Earth.” Gamora responded, her tone carefully guarded. “Doctor, if it is him, the chances that he is still alive—”

     “Are infinitesimal, I know.”

     Silence and tension fell upon them like an itchy woolen blanket.

     Nebula broke through the quiet after a few long minutes.

     “We’re here.”

     None of them, not even Drax who rarely sported emotion, could keep their expressions impassive. One by one their faces fell.

     They didn’t have to say it.

     It was his ship.

     Stephen was gone from the compound and aboard the Benatar within seconds.

     Tony Stark limped out of a C-17 with his arm in a sling and Rhodes delicately supporting his every move. Somehow, Tony still managed to stand tall and confident. He was too thin, his hair was too long, he needed to shave, and needed to sleep for about two weeks straight.

     But he was alive.

     At his side, Pepper squeezed his hand while holding back tears as Tony approached the two of them on the runway. He took a look around at the Air Force personnel, sniffed, then let his attention fall to Pepper.

     “Your eyes are red. Few tears for your long lost boss?”

     “Tears of joy,” She said through a bright smile. “I hate job hunting.”

     “Yeah, well,” Tired eyes landed on Stephen and his throat bobbed with a hard swallow. “Vacation’s over.”

     With his good hand, Tony grabbed Stephen’s as he walked past and towards the car and held it like he’d never let it go again.

     The docking clamps attached with a dull thud.

     “Stephen, the ship is dead. Not even the backup life support systems are active. Are you sure about this?” Gamora laid a hand on his arm. Her concern was touching.

     “I am,” He patted her hand, his own trembling more than usual. “I need to know.”

     Rocket chimed in. “Knowin’ is one thing, doc. You don’t gotta go and hurt yourself like that.”

     “I am Groot.”

     “See?”

     Despite the circumstances, Stephen let a fragile smile through. “I appreciate the concern, and I don’t expect any of you to understand. But this is something I have to do.”

     Magic cloaked his body in safety against the harsh elements of the dead ship.

     Stephen walked through the short terminal, opened the hatch door with a single gesture, and stepped inside.

     Too focused on the patient file that promised to bolster an already impressive record, Stephen didn’t see the tail light until it was too late.

     The car spun off the edge of the cliff, rolled and flipped multiple times on the way down, and landed nose down in chilly waters.

     Stephen opened one eye that wasn’t swollen shut fourteen hours later to Christine and Tony talking quietly and his hands in fixators.

     The deep and painful inhale and the spike in his heart rate alerted them to his consciousness. Tony’s eyes were red with heavy bags beneath them, and Christine could barely look at him.

     “What… did they do?” He croaked out, throat dry and lips swollen.

     “Take it easy, baby,” Tony placed a gentle hand on his thigh and fresh tears threatened to fall.

     “It—it took Tony a while to find you…” Christine’s voice shook.

    “What did they do?” His snarl was weak, but still enough to make both of them wince.

     Neither of them could look at him while Christine donned her best professional tone.

     “Eleven stainless steel pins in the bones, multiple torn ligaments, severe nerve damage in both hands.”

     “Oh, God…”

     “Stephen, honey, you were on the table for eleven hours. No one could have done better.”

     He swallowed the sandpaper in his throat and turned his head as much as he could to look directly at Tony.

     “I could have done better.”

     It was the truth and they all knew it.

     Christine excused herself and Tony squeezed his thigh tenderly.

     “Baby, I promise I’ll find a way to fix this.”

     Stephen drained every penny to his name on experimental treatments, more surgeries, and multiple therapies. Tony devoted his entire R&D department to it.

     Neither of them were successful.

     Neither of them stopped trying.

     No atmosphere control.

     No artificial gravity.

     No temperature regulation.

     There was very little difference between the inside of the ship and the vacuum of space outside. It was eerie and quiet enough that his own heartbeat seemed deafening. A simple spell was cast for a ball of light and it hovered over him as he walked, illuminated the darkness in a soft bluish glow. Anything that hadn’t been strapped down floated motionless until he pushed it from his path. Stephen knew there was no use actually searching the ship. There was only one logical place to look.

     Stephen headed for the cockpit.

     Stephen lost count of how many times they had done this now. It seemed inevitable they would attend the same galas, charity events, science and technology conventions, or award ceremonies. He watched Tony grow into his new CEO role under the guidance of Stane, a man who rubbed him in all the wrong ways. Stephen watched him evolve a mask for the media and public and delighted when it was taken off just for him.

    They would disappear to storage closets, bathrooms, and empty offices at first. Eventually, Stephen started going home with him, started staying the night.

     He looked over to Tony’s sleeping face beside him and felt a smile tug at his lips. Manhattan’s night time glow fell upon him through the huge windows of his penthouse suite—one he had been frequenting more often than his actual home in Malibu. He was soft like this, all his burdens and stress and sorrows suspended for a few blessed hours. The tension had long ago drained from his every atom, Stephen more than happy to take and take and take until Tony was spent. His hair was a mess, lips parted slightly for deep and slow breaths, face half smashed into the pillow he hugged, and his neck and shoulders covered in Stephen’s claim. No matter how many times he saw Tony Stark raw and vulnerable like this, it made his stomach flutter and heart forget a beat or two.

     “I think I love you,” Stephen whispered and finally closed his eyes to drift to sleep with a warmth inside his heart.

     Never had silence been so deafening as it was for him then. It was not like other silences which were, rather, lack of one dominant sound yet still enough small noises to fill the void. No, this was a true, total and complete silence. His blood rushed in his ears, his heart beat so loud he was sure the Guardians could hear it on their ship, and his every breath came in like the angry wind before a storm. It was disorientating to hear the basic workings of your own body, and just one of the many reasons Stephen liked to avoid actual space.

     He rounded the doorway, telling himself he was ready while knowing he wasn’t.

     The light from the orb increased, slowly pushing darkness back into the emptiness of space.

     Stephen’s chest tightened, the weight of his sorrow crushing so hard he was almost positive it would collapse into the black hole it felt like. Strapped in one of the pilot’s seats, Tony Stark sat motionless, suspended in time.

     Space was, at least, merciful in death.

     Cold numbness ate Stephen away at his very core. He didn’t even feel himself take reluctant steps closer.

     Tony was pale, his lips and fingertips tinged with blue and eyes shut. His head leaned to the side, pillowed by the chair’s headrest. Too skinny, even with the subtle swell of what little water had been left in his body trying to escape before it froze. He looked so peaceful, Stephen could almost pretend he was simply asleep.

     Almost.

     Cradled beneath his arm was the damaged remains of his helmet; the source of the distress call if he had to guess. Inside, a faint red light glowed on and off. Odd that Tony wouldn’t have shut it down once he knew the inevitable. Carefully, Stephen worked it out of the frozen grip of his would-be husband, his entire self functioning on autopilot to the point he barely knew if he was still in his physical body. A bit of magic was given to the nanite helmet, warming it just enough for its circuitry to function without the risk of failing under such extreme cold. The eyes flickered a few times, stayed on, then projected into the empty space of the cockpit.

[martinahlijanian]

In Search of the Lost...CLM

It’s Springtime in Boston – new beginnings, growth, shaking off the doldrums of winter (especially this recent one!!)  In that spirit, I’ll throw off my dusty 2020 sanitized cloak and admit to you all something unprofessional, yet based in beauty and a deep love – some might call it a devotion. My beloved??  The Moody Blues.  Yup, I’m a devoted fan – have been for decades. Make your elevator music joke – I don’t care.  I know – nowhere nearly as cool as Post Malone, T-Swift, Dua, Doja, Don’tya, whomever. But majestic, original, thoughtful, and DEEP.  Long ago in a New England portion of the galaxy far, far away, a suburban ethnic kid picked up a handful of vinyl albums at a yard sale, and the incredible double album “This Is The Moody Blues” was in the pile. I was immediately hooked. Have seen the boys several times in concert, and they never disappoint (though to steal a line from Don Henley about his own band, they don’t exactly dance around the stage – they mostly loiter.)

 By now you’re probably thinking “the connection between THIS and Contract Lifecycle Management systems (“CLMs”) will be the most tortured bootstrap in history”, but if you followed the Moodies, it would be so very clear and obvious.  Back in the medieval era (certainly not the dark ages) the boys released an album called “In Search of the Lost Chord”, an appropriately pretentious title implying not only that the Moodies knew of a unique, world-changing musical chord (typically 3-5 notes played together simultaneously), but that they, and no one else, found it!  If your experience evaluating CLMs has been anything like mine over the past few years, you’ve been on a similar quest, but with less than satisfying results.  Here are some of my impressions from my search for a perfect CLM.

 Keeping with the musical theme for just another minute, my other non-work passion is synthesizers. I’m the proud owner of 6, ranging in age from 29 years old to 4, with the toddler being an absolute musical powerhouse of seemingly infinite possibilities called the Yamaha Montage.  The synthesizer market exemplifies Moore’s Law, that old chestnut that says the number of transistors per silicon chip doubles every year, with corresponding performance increases and speed gains resulting from denser integrated circuits. That’s certainly the case with my synths. My boat anchor of a keyboard in 1981, an Italian-built instrument called the Crumar Orchestrator (no longer with us), was very heavy, cost $1,050 (Armenians never forget prices), and produced a whopping 5 sounds, though two sounds could be layered together.  Needless to say, the new Yamaha plays rings around it, for only a few bucks more, but requires extensive training and synth engine tweaking. No one could seriously consider the two as peers – the Yamaha is a high-end laptop embedded into an 88-key digital synth with touchscreen programming that would make Dr. Moog himself drool.  And yet there was something wonderful about the simplicity, intuitiveness, and real-time access of the Crumar’s sounds. In CLM terms, the Crumar didn’t have many bells or whistles, but did the job, and did so quite well and dependably.

 Back in 2016, I had the pleasure of serving the team at SmashFly Technologies. We realized we needed a high-functioning CLM, and after a thorough RFP process, we selected SpringCM as our first system, enjoying a fantastic relationship with both the SpringCM team in Chicago and the platform itself. The integration of our prospects’ contract forms into the platform for redlining, version control, and eventual e-signing was a key element of our use case, shortening the sales lifecycle substantially.  And internal workflows created with the system were embraced by both our Sales and Customer Success teams for both new and upsell/renewal business, respectively. Did the platform have every possible mind-numbing feature?  No, but it was always there when we needed it and fit our business needs perfectly, with secure, real-time support and document processing. Definitely a Crumar relationship!  

 Author and theologian Richard Foster has written often on the virtues of simplicity, counseling one to “strip away all excess baggage and nonessential trappings”, and even the Moodies themselves, despite being known for complex orchestral production and cosmic lyrics, have echoed this concept (yes, with another keyboard reference), singing:

There's one thing I can do Play my Mellotron™ for you Try to blow away your city blues Your dreams are not unfound Get your feet back on the ground

So, in the spirit of the Moodies’ grandeur (pomposity?), I’ll attempt to blow away your CLM blues and get your feet back on the ground with an overview of my CLM experiences and suggestions for core requirements, particularly with respect to recent CLM market developments. As you may’ve guessed, I tend to lean toward simplicity, but as someone who has embraced technology since my garage band days, I get as excited about bleeding edge product developments as much as anyone, so I’ll try to keep the scales balanced.

 In my startup-oriented world (ranging back 9 years), speed is everything.  Correctness is assumed, whether it be contract version control, updated pricing/BAFOs, or proposal submissions – those are as fundamental as breathing.  But speed varies greatly between organizations and markets.  A twenty-four month (or longer) RFP pursuit under a federal government procurement, being run by a large publicly-traded company, doesn’t have the same day-to-day time pressures as the end of a quarter at an IT startup, particularly one that is chasing B or C-round funding or later investment/sale avenues.  So like my beloved Crumar, a selected CLM must be fast, intuitive, and dependable. I can’t write code, and never want to be deep into programming instructions of my CLM; if we’re at that point, we’ve failed. As I’ve told my engineering colleagues for years, “this company is in DEEP trouble if you want me to write code”.  (The corollary to that, of course, is “and we’re in equally deep trouble if engineers are interpreting contract terms”, but I digress, and you know I love you guys. )

 Any system that has a steep learning curve, plods along in terms of system performance, and/or has numerous updates (so-called “upgrades”), patches, and maintenance downtime beyond market standards must be avoided.

 Uptime availability should be as close to 99.9% as possible, if not higher.  If you’re reading this, you’re probably a contracts, legal, or compliance pro, so you know any firm that won’t state that uptime availability percentage specifically in the contract’s SoW or SLA is telling you they’ll never hit it; run for the hills! Similarly, data center operations should be with a well-established, secure North American supplier (you know who they are – they certainly don’t need free advertising from me) to the CLM company, and the history of that relationship should be explored.  A firm that bounces between all of the major cloud providers may try to argue that they’re always trying to get the best deal for their clients, but for my money, stability, security, and dependability are best served by a long-standing CLM-cloud provider marriage.  

 In addition, CLM implementation times should be clean and short.  If you hear too many horror stories in the market, or references to “Well, Sue, it all depends on the amount of legacy data you’ll be transferring into our Platinum Platform, and what condition your data is in”, keep looking. You haven’t played the lost chord – just some sour notes.  We all understand that dysfunctional customer data is not the responsibility of a new supplier, but my experience has been that a supplier who tries to foist performance concerns on the prospect early in discussions is typically the one who has the most problems during the contract term, and as a result is either terminated or churned at renewal time.

 Speaking of pet peeves and more bootstraps, you may not believe there’s any connection at all between CLM demos (or the lack thereof) and a long-term positive relationship, but I maintain there is, and have experienced it.  A company that plays hide-the-ball with its product may not be as confident in its features as its collateral or website proclaim.  I certainly appreciate the arguments against a “demo right out of the gate” view – limited SE resources, non-serious buyers just trolling, numerous demos placing company IP at risk, SDRs need more due diligence discussions to properly tailor the demo, need to avoid multiple demos for the same prospect (so wait a bit and get all stakeholders on the same call), etc. But any experienced SDR or Account Exec/Regional Sales Manager should be able to tell from the first discussion with a prospect whether she/he is serious, has an immediate need and budget, and has authority to move forward or needs to have a senior exec (or two) participate in any demo.  Hiding the ball from a serious prospect is counter-productive to the aims of the relationship and quite frustrating.

Wow – now I’m fired up. Given that I’m writing this late on a Tuesday, perhaps I should play the Moodies’ classic hit “Tuesday Afternoon” and mellow out!

 My friends know that I LOATHE the use of jargon, but I have to use the phrase “table stakes” just once here – it’s in the context of a CLM’s e-signature capabilities.  Any CLM with kludgy e-signature placement, or non-intuitive use (or worse, multiple drop-downs/windows before insertion in a document) should be avoided.  Simplicity really should reign here.  In most companies the contracts or legal reviewer is not likely to be the signatory, so any digital doc in a CLM should be easy to prepare and forward for senior management’s execution.

 Your company’s templates and forms, and especially your Fallback 1 and Fallback 2 clause libraries, will require a bit more heavy lifting from the CLM partner, but given the evolution of CLM systems across the board, this process should be fast and clear. And the redlining of a prospect’s Word doc should never send the CLM into a spin.  

Your selected CLM should have easy-to-create workflows that integrate with your company’s CRM, and appear as a widget or new page within the Account or Opportunity section thereof. If workflow creation requires multiple calls to the CLM provider’s tech support team, or worse, a purchase order for fee-based tech services, you’ve selected the wrong company.  Which leads me to report generation…

 In the synthesizer world, drum and percussion effects generated from the keyboard sound cool on the sales floor of Guitar Center or Sam Ash, but in terms of live performance, I can unequivocally state I’ve never used them, and never given them a second thought. And my studio friends tell me they’d rather use software-based drum sounds & loops than 90’s-style percussion from their synths. Basically, a “bell” of limited value. Report generation hardly falls to that level, and my CFO and CMO depended upon recurring reports generated automatically from the CLM, as did my SDR Manager.  But ad hoc ROI report generation gets too much press, in my humble opinion, and may be touted at great length by your intrepid CLM sales rep.  As far as I’ve seen, every CLM in 2021 has report generation; I wouldn’t be too swayed by a firm that crows about this as a product discriminator, unless your senior management is asking for numerous non-standard reports other company systems can’t provide.

 I hope my earlier levity about engineers doesn’t generate too much hate mail – I have the utmost respect for them, as they know; that same sentiment applies to my beloved Sales colleagues. But having said that, for the safety of all, I only provide my Sales pros with access to NDA templates.  That’s it.  Your CLM will certainly have a rules-based structure where you can provide, or remove, access to forms or project documents based on department, unit/function, individual name, or transaction.  Again, simplicity should be the rule, not the exception here.  Ask for sandbox or live “dummy” system access and have the provider walk you through the gory details of this process. You should be able to do it alone, on a real-time basis; time-sensitive special projects (often M&A related) sometimes arise with little notice, and with strict guidelines about disclosures to other team members.  If you can’t readily change access rules yourself, you’ll have problems, and will spin your wheels – while the clock is ticking and the C-suite is waiting for a reply – all because this process is too difficult.

 Every app on the planet needs to have mobile functionality, and CLMs are certainly no different.  As we emerge from COVID travel restrictions, the need for airport/Acela/in-meeting access to your CLM will return to 2019 levels. Any hiccup or frustration with the mobile use experienced during demo should receive substantial negative demerits in your evaluation phase.  I’ve seen everything from a unique mobile app for a vendor’s platform to the identical (though hard to read) platform access using a browser on your iPhone or Android device. This comes down to personal preference, and what an otherwise high-scoring provider is selling. So long as core functionality is present in a mobile platform, I wouldn’t make a final decision based solely on this.

 Lastly, a CLM platform’s ability to host a private document that could be shared via public URL, such as your company’s Supplier Code of Conduct or SLA, should be easy to find today and require nothing but the most basic training steps to create.  

I suppose no essay on technology would be complete today without a reference to AI or ML. And pitch deck references to AI/ML are just as ubiquitous; there isn’t a major CLM player who isn’t emphasizing AI.  However, make sure a vendor’s AI solution isn’t substantially dependent on a third party’s tool; I know of at least three heavyweights in this sector whose AI is subject to the vagaries of their supplier relationship with subs.  

 The distinction between strategic roadmap and current offering is an important one as well.  No one wants to repeat the selection and implementation process any time soon, so a company’s track record of creative product development, as well as its record of actually delivering those future-proof features, should be an important part of your investment strategy.  Today’s flavor of the month that either doesn’t have the R&D resources, including funding and personnel) or technical acumen (or both) to evolve the product over time will not be a solid choice, particularly if your company is in high-growth mode.

 Another core requirement in 2021 is digital transformation. Where e-contracting automated processes within the Contracts, Legal and/or Sourcing department, digital transformation takes the data in our world and shares it with finance, ops, HR, and other company systems, beyond your CRM.  If your vendor doesn’t at least address this, keep looking.

 Which brings us back to synthesizers.  Do I miss my Crumar? Absolutely.  Was one of COVID’s silver linings less time sitting in traffic and more time embracing my Yamaha….oh, and of course my family? Heck yes!  But my favorite synth of all-time is actually a wonderful instrument called the Korg N364. It’s modern-ish, but with many live performance capabilities and instant access to over 500 sounds.  It’s absolutely bulletproof in terms of construction and reliability, and is playable right out of the box.  While the Moody Blues never did find The Lost Chord, I’m convinced one could come VERY close with uninterrupted time, extreme creativity, and the Korg machine.  It’s the perfect balance between features, reliability, and intuitiveness.

I hope some of these thoughts help you find the best CLM for your team!

[trollplaying]

It figured that the one time you needed her the guppy would make things difficult by taking a day off. Honestly, you would have rather risked making a scene and possibly damaging the fleet base than go to the beach. Or any large body of water. They always made your insides itch and your mind foggy, reminded you too much of the worst of your wrigglerhood. Not to mention there was no cover. Without your mask you felt exposed enough without standing in the open like a sitting quackfowl.

And vulnerability was the last thing you wanted when negotiating with Kaslet. You were already still shaken after your conversation with Doc, and while you could always try again another night, you wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. You’d already let things stay as they were for too long. You didn’t have any leads either, so sacrifices would have to be made.

Locating her was simple enough with the open expanse of the beach. That, and her lapdog was running from the water to her and back. Thankfully, the two didn’t seem to be paying attention to their surroundings, otherwise they would have spotted you before you even got close. Fully clothed and donning your cloak again (which was the only passable replacement for your mask), you stuck out. It wasn’t like you were hanging around for long, so you didn’t see any reason to get changed. It would have been another waste of time.

You were a few steps behind Kaslet when she sat up suddenly and looked around. Which was...weird. Maybe the two of you despised one another so much you were just more aware of each other’s presences. Like an animal sensing danger.

“Your mate is friends with Dialus, right?” You asked, not bothering with pleasantries. Or caring if you startled the guppy.

Beach episode

Salt tinged the air and the moons stood high. It was a beautiful day to go to the beach. The tropical setting was almost like that out of something of a movie, with clear waters that roared high to the clean white beaches. Yes this was perfect for your day off.  In the distance you could hear the sounds of your younger subordinate running around collecting shells and toeing his way into the water before bringing them back to where you both had set up your blankets and umbrellas.  Zantin was a good lad who would only bother your quiet time to ask if you wanted a beer when it was finally time for you both to start cracking them. It wasn’t often you both took a day off, but when you did, you both knew with the warm season rolling in that it was gonna be on the beach with the nearest bar. Days like these made it easy to forget your work, all the notes all the people all the conversations. Nothing stressful just you, your friend and the ocean. Maybe you’d take a dip into the water soon. You heard it was actually pleasant from how Zantin hadn’t nearly screamed his head off after diving into the shallow end  of it.

Still even with the beauty and peace around you, something felt off. It was just a touch too cool, the breeze kept blowing your hair in your face. It was something. Unable to get comfortable on your beach towel you sat up and looked around. Even going as far as to lift your sunglasses. You had a feeling something bad was about to happen. 

@trollplaying

[sanyi-vorthael]

A Father’s Hatred (Part Two)

Her ears pinned straight up, the elegant ponytail she donned barely shifting from their movement. Strands of blonde colored hair unraveled from the sleek hair style she carried, her right palm beginning to spark and shimmer as she pooled arcane power into her hand, bearing her fangs at the shadowed and darkened figure before her. “Who are you...”, she growled, her once gentle voice seeping with venom as she spoke.

The man chuckled darkly, the plated armor he wore on his body clattering as he stepped closer towards her slender form, his plated boots thudding upon the ground. “Oh, I don’t think that’s something you need to know, my dear.”, he replied, a sense of familiarity hanging in his voice as it rang within each slender ear of hers. A small, screeching sound began to hit her ears, the pooling of arcane she began halting as her gloved hands covered her ears, her eyes pinned open as she watched the figure, his sword leaving its sheath as it pointed towards her neck. 

A glare contorted her gentle face, her senses to protect her life rising higher and higher as she lowered her hands, the tome she once carried thudding beside her feet. Both hands swiftly pooled arcane magic within her palms, her veins surging with magic before she thrust her arms forward, small, arcane missiles pelting the man’s plated chest. “Answer me. Now!”, she ordered, slipping her staff from her back, the tail end pressing into the dampened ground she stood upon.

The mysterious man whose voice seemed to stir something within her stomach laughed darkly, the arcane missiles denting the armor he donned on his body while his plated boots skidded upon the ground from the initial force of her magic. “Ah.... Hahaha! Purely fascinating, darling! You’ve surely grown quite powerful, haven’t you?”, he snickered before rushing forward towards her, his sword slamming roughly against her metallic staff, the force of his blade shoving her back into the stone wall behind her, a small yelp escaping her throat from the pressure. 

Tsk... Cloth won’t protect me... Zari can’t protect me... Ryn and Saro won’t help me now... Doc and Ty can’t... Deathbringer even can’t now... Her thoughts raced, remembering everyone she held close as her staff struggled against the pressure of the man’s sword. I won’t die here!!, she thought to herself, recalling those dear to her heart as she forced her staff sharply against the blade the man wielded, physical strength being her lowest power unlike those she knew. “Heh, you think to win against me? To best me?”, the man grinned within the darkness of the land, only pressing his blade more against her staff, the staff itself beginning to chip and crack under the pressure.

“I w-will win!”, she yelled, placing her right foot against the stone to help push him away before she casted Shimmer, a trail of glitter seeming to be in her wake as she wound up behind him, her hand already thrusting a sparking, arcane orb against his back as he groaned, the power of her magic thrusting him forward in the stone she cried upon earlier with a powerful thud. “We shall see!”, he groaned out, turning swiftly as his blade connected once more with her staff. His hand stretched outwards towards her, Light flashing and dazing her before she felt the tugging of her skin ripping beneath her silk armor, liquid life beginning to stain the Kirin Tor tabard she wore snug upon her body as small droplets began to stain the grass beneath her feet. 

She bit back the yell of pain that tried to escape her throat, growling from the pain. F-Fuck... Screw trying to figure out who he is!, she yelled within her mind, giving into a more primal instinct to live as she once more brought arcane power to her hands, an arcane blast throwing his body into the stone, cracking the stone bricks he slammed into. She heard the groan escape him, grinning as she flashed her sharpened fangs to him, the darkness of the sky cloaking much of his appearance and her own. A growl left the man’s thin lips before another flash of pure Light blinded her sight. She held tight to her staff, wanting to guard her body somehow before her pale green eyes widened in pain, the blade the man held thrusting into her chest, a sharp pulse of Light traveling down the sharp blade’s length the more it entered her body.

Blackness. For mere moments, pure blackness filled her vision, her eyes beginning to glaze over before pure, sheer will empowered her not to fade just yet, the pain shaking her body as she screamed from the Light’s pain. “Good! Scream! No-one will be here to help you, my dear!”, the man laughed, withdrawing his blade from her chest as she fell to her knees, the end of her staff within her hands being the only thing helping her from falling onto the ground itself.

Slowly, she looked up, the sun rising above the horizon as the blackness of the sky began to light up and shimmer, mixtures of deep violets and satin pinks filling the sky itself. Each movement for her seemed slow and mechanical, her eyes that once shone bright and full of life now dull and nearly lifeless. Before she could react, she felt the kick to her right shoulder, the strength of it thrusting her onto her back with a pained thump, her dull orbs seeking out the man who stood over her nearly lifeless form.

“Your time and your life ends here, my dear daughter. Any final words?”, he growled, her arcane magic working over time to damage him more, much to his own surprise. Sanyi thought about Death, her un-beating heart hoping he kept Zari safe. She thought about Doc and Ty, her eyes welling up with tears as she saw their faces. P-Please... Keep her s-safe... A-All of you keep my sister s-safe... In her last moments, Zari appeared within her mind, the tears that filled her eyes pouring over in sorrow. “Z-Zari... I l-love you, d-dear sister... S-So m-much...”, she muttered, the man’s face above her coming into full view which only made her cry more.

The man, her corrupted father Zarken Vor’thael, heard her final words before Light cascaded across his blade, the blade sharply plunging into her heart before the Light ended her undead life, Sanyi’s body falling limp upon the ground as her blood seeped out, staining the ground she died upon, lifeless tears and pale, white eyes staring into pure darkness.

((OOC here... This is a story that breaks my heart beyond belief. I’ve put so much into my characters that I role-play and though to end Zari’s twin sister hurts beyond words, I feel this was the better choice in the long-run. If you see a character with the name Sanyi, a sin’dorei mage, her TRP in game is now void, a blank slate.))

[savetopnow]

2018-04-03 22 VIDEO now

VIDEO

Bad Lip Reading

"IT'S NOT A MOON" — A Bad Lip Reading of Star Wars

"NFL 2018" — A Bad Lip Reading of the NFL

"TRUMP ANTHEM" — A Bad Lip Reading of Donald Trump

"[KARAOKE] Seagulls! (Stop It Now!)" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back

"CHRISTMAS IS HERE!" — A Bad Lip Reading of Donald Trump

Bill Wurtz

unboxing video

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La de da de da de da de day oh

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outside

Captain Disillusion

Chinese Invisibility Cloak Hoax DESTROYED!!!

TUTORIAL: Rigging the Ambiguous Cylinder for Animation

Quick D: Invisible Box Challenge

Gateway to Sedona DEBUNK

The Unbearable Loneliness of Being Right on the Internet - Live at Skepticon Australia 2017

CineFix

The 10 Most Personal Movies of All Time - Movie Lists

The Thing - What's the Difference?

7 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Pan's Labyrinth

4 More of the Best Shots of All Time - Movie Lists

'The Shining' Meets 'Heathers' w/ Cory Finley, Director of 'Thoroughbreds'

Exurb1a

Hymn for Goldilocks

A Dictionary for Your Twenties

Feelings, Pictures, and Ideas: A very simple theory of why good stories are good

Bear and Goose at the End of Everything

Problems With Mind Uploading

Kurzgesagt

A Selfish Argument for Making the World a Better Place – Egoistic Altruism

String Theory Explained – What is The True Nature of Reality?

Homeopathy Explained – Gentle Healing or Reckless Fraud?

Why Alien Life Would be our Doom - The Great Filter

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The most successful pirate of all time [5:16]

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This mashup of Pharrell's 'Happy' and 'Get Lucky'.

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Making a Giant Candy Cane for a 61 Year Old Elephant

TED Talks

The best way to help is often just to listen | Sophie Andrews

To solve the world's biggest problems, invest in women and girls | Musimbi Kanyoro

The wonderful world of life in a drop of water | Tom Zimmerman and Simone Bianco

How shocking events can spark positive change | Naomi Klein

How fashion helps us express who we are -- and what we stand for | Kaustav Dey

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How Cryptocurrency Works | NYT

How to Find Silence in a Noisy World | Op-Docs 360

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[the-writers-bookshelf]

Okay I may not be an actual writing blog but I do have a google doc where I write assorted bits about my D&D characters... so I thought that before Fab Friday was over I'd submit a little something though I do think I should provide some context first

Vaelétr (Vay-let-er) is a Tabaxi! Feline humanoids, he's tiger-themed (tiger head, fur, digitigrade legs, etc.) He's a noble who was adopted into an Elven family to study blood magic, and they named him Valentine though he sometimes goes by Val and is very "edgy teenager who doesn't want anybody to bother him". He's always eager to be learning though and he has a bit of a gay problem in the form of

Balthus (Ball-thus), who is a Gnoll! They're hyena-like people who are normally monsters, though Balthus was taken off the street to be a test subject for Vaelétr and he took pity on Balthus and they became childhood friends. He's the one who makes sure Vaelétr doesn't become an edgy loner and is also there to poke fun at him and is Vaelétr's crush but Balthus doesn't know and Balthus also has feelings for Vaelétr so it's a whole mess.

Anyway I'm just gonna post the excerpt since I really like it, it's describing an outfit

He wore a long, flowing red robe, and it hugged tightly to his lithe frame. The ends were trimmed with feathers, dark as night, and it dragged along the floor when he walked. It was buttoned tightly, and there was a golden harness overlaid on top of it that held the robe close to him. Balthus couldn’t tell if the harness was meant to accentuate Val’s figure, which it did, or if it was merely for decoration. The harness extended downwards, towards his hips, where it diverted into many golden chains, all adorned with small trinkets and tokens, the entire thing seeming to loop around to his backside as well. Just as airy as the robe itself, its sleeves were wide and open. The ends were all lined with the same black feathers, and they drooped down towards the ground, leaving plenty of room for movement. The Tabaxi wore fingerless leather gloves, a single golden ring apparent on his right middle finger. The robe was open, revealing his legs, and he wore black breeches that seemed just as tight as the robe. Nearer to his feet, he had black shoes with gold buckles, if they could even be called shoes. A side effect of having digitigrade legs, the paws of his feet were largely exposed, the shoes only being wrapped around his ankles.

Balthus’s eyes drifted back up to Vaelétr’s face. The Gnoll quickly realized that everything must have been absurdly expensive, if all the gold was real. Vaelétr wore a large, lustrous black cloak, held up by a golden set of pauldrons that wrapped around the back of his neck as well as his back. The pauldrons also bore the same black feathers. The end of it, shaped like a V, had feathers lining its entire perimeter. The Tabaxi had a choker as well, also made of gold, that wrapped around his neck in small curves and bends, reminiscent of Elven design. It had feathers on it as well, creating a collar of sorts and obscuring whatever fur he might have had exposed. Vaelétr donned an elaborate circlet, though it might have been more fitting to call it a crown. He had his hair smoothed out, the circlet being gallantly apparent on his orange fur. It wrapped around his forehead, golden chains dangling from it as well. There were two crescent moon gems dangling from it above his eyes, and a singular, radiant sun in the center of his brow. The circlet had golden horns, arching up and backwards on his head. To top it all off, the circlet had a large arch on top of it, and it had multiple gems protruding from it.

Balthus found himself speechless as the Tabaxi unknowingly approached him, all the parts of his outfit shining in the moonlight and rippling on the breeze from the still-open window. Vaelétr stopped a moment, relishing in the breeze before Balthus spoke up.

“You look… absolutely radiant, Val.”

This is so creative! And you write so well! And you just have more gems like this tucked away in a document!?! You’re doing a fantastic job!!

[kyukurator-blog]

THE LAST POST

This is the last post of Follow The Thread. 

I say that with a mixture of sadness and relief.  Over the course of three years, Elma and I have researched, curated and written 152 posts, covering nearly 900 films, documentaries and TV shows.

We did it because we loved it.  Each week we’d unearth a complex web of threads connecting current titles to the massive online library that we are all blessed to have at our fingertips.  Some of the connections were obvious, some were obscure.  Some resonant, some just fun.  

The process was always delightful.  And, it was a tremendous amount of work.    

But what I’ll especially miss are all the juicy and culty titles we would discover – or, in some cases, re-discover – in the course of our detective work. 

So for this last post, I’ve pulled together a fast, long and extremely biased list of some of discoveries Elma and I have made over the last three years, stretching back to August 2014. 

Thanks for reading.  Arrivaderci!                                                                                                               *Each title is followed by the date of the post*

Afternoon Delight (2013) 5/18/17 Jill Soloway’s 2013 first film.  Kathryn Hahn is a frustrated LA Mom who opens up her home to a homeless young exotic dancer (Juno Temple).    

A Field in England (2013) 4/20/17 Hot UK team Ben Wheatley and wife Amy Jump’s low-budget, anti-romantic account of the 17th Century civil wars, complete with psychedelic mushrooms.

Belle du Jour (1967) 3/23/17 Luis Bunuel’s amoral anti-bourgeois meditation on erotic fulfilment starring 23-year-old Catherine Deneuve.

Welcome to The Rileys (2010) 3/9/17 Kristen Stewart and James Gandolfini in an unexpected fable of a bereaved father.

Orange Sunshine (2016) 1/12/17 Acclaimed doc maker William Kirkley tells the story of Brotherhood of Eternal Love, a mystical/altruistic band of surfer hippies out of Laguna Beach who manufactured and sold 100 million hits of LSD.  

The Jackie Show – Televised Tour of the White House (1962) 12/8/16 80 million people watched as the breathy, beautiful and slightly distant young First Lady showed off her White House restoration on live TV.   

Guy and Madeline on a Park Bench (2009) 12/1/16 Damien Chazelle’s Harvard Thesis film is a jazz musical warm-up for La La Land, scored by his  collaborator Justin Hurwitz. 

Margaret (2007/10) 11/17/16 Kenneth Lonergan’s uneasy maybe-masterpiece starring Anna Paquin (pre-True Blood) as a magnetically unlikeable New York teen trying to work out her place in the universe. 

Crystal Fairy and the Magical Cactus (2013) 11/3/16 Sebastian Silva’s story of a feckless American (Michael Cera) who sets off in search of psychedelic cactus.  He and Chilean friends are joined by spacey, free-spirited Crystal Fairy (Gaby Hoffman).  The trip becomes the trip.   

400 Blows (1959) 10/27/16 Autobiographical childhood film from 27-year-old critic Francois Truffaut that exploded him into the front ranks of the New Wave.  We’d never seen it before! 

Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution (2015) 10/6/16 Scary black men with rifles on the steps of the California State House.  The amazing story told definitively in this PBS doc from Stanley Nelson. 

Open Your Eyes (1997) 8/25/16 Alejandro Amenabar’s mindbending Spanish language parable about a young man whose lust captures him in an endless loop of subjective reality was the basis for Vanilla Sky. 

Summer with Monika (1953) 8/11/16 This remarkable early Bergman film about adolescent lovers who escape on a summer idyll has been cited as an influence by both John Waters and Woody Allen.  

A Woman Named Golda (1982) 7/28/16 You wouldn’t know that Ingrid Bergman was dying of cancer when she made this surprising portrait of the grandmotherly and iron-willed Israeli Prime Minister.  Leonard Nimoy plays her husband, Judy Davis is the young Golda.

A Most Wanted Man (2014) 7/7/16 A stark, chilling spy movie from Dutch directory Anton Corbijn, with Seymour Phillip Hoffman starring in his last leading role. 

The Source (1999) 6/30/16 Chuck Workman’s definitive documentary on The Beats.  Focuses on Ginsberg, Kerouac and Burroughs, with Dennis Hopper, Johnny Depp and John Turturro reading their works.

The Blue Room (2014) 6/23/16 A distinctively French and exceptionally erotic thriller from director Mathieu Amalric, based on a novel by Georges Simenon. 

Black Death (2010) 6/16/16 From horror director Chris Smith, “Dark Ages Pulp” — a horror/fable about the evils of religion and belief, with plenty of gore and a liberal dash of the supernatural.  With Sean Bean, aka Edard Stark, and Carice von Houten (GOT’s Melisandre).

I Am Love (2009) 5/5/16 In the third of Tilda Swinton’s ongoing string of collaborations with Italian director Luca Guadigno (Biggest Splash), she plays the Russian-born matriarch of a haute bourgeois Italian family that has fallen on rocky times.

Better Off Ted (2009-2010) 4/7/16 A “brilliant but cancelled” ABC office sitcom that is a more-accurate-than-most mirror of contemporary corporate life.

L’Atalante (1932) 3/10/16 This was the last of seminal French director Jean Viggo’s four films.  He died in his wife’s arms a few days after the film’s disastrous release.  Now it’s beloved, the exceptionally simple story of a girl from a river town who impulsively marries a barge captain.  

Labyrinthe (1986) 1/14/16 15-year-old Jennifer Connelly is a girl on the brink of womanhood whose fantasies come alive.  David Bowie is Jareth, the Ogre King, tempter and torturer in a glam rock wig and notoriously form-fitting tights. Cult fantasy collaboration from George Lucas and Jim (Muppet) Henson.   

99 Homes (2015) 12/11/15 Michael Shannon is a real estate shark who teaches Andrew Garfield how to save his family home – by preying on others.  The start of our obsession with chameleon Shannon. 

The Great Beauty (2013) 12/3/15 Paolo Sorrentino’s Oscar winner about a famous journalist who blithely charms his way through the upper echelons of Roman culture – until, on his 65th birthday, his true love unexpectedly dies. 

What If (2014) 11/25/15 A frustratingly cliched romcom worth seeing for the singularly charming performance by post-Potter Daniel Radcliffe.  Also with Zoe Kazan, Adam Driver and Mackenzie Davis.    

Purple Noon (1960) 11/10/15 René Clément directs Alain Delon in this superior French version of Patricia Highsmith’s The Talented Mr. Ripley.  Recently remastered by Criterion, spoiled only by a wimped-out ending.

Animal Kingdom (2011) 9/24/15 Ben Mendelsohn plays a borerline psychopath in this Down Under reinvigoration of American gangster conventions.  Oscar nom for Jacki Weaver, career rebirth for Mendelsohn. 

Werner Von Braun: Missile to the Moon (2012) 9/3/15 Biography of the charismatic and photogenic ex-Nazi who led Germany’s V2 missile program, was forgiven, and became the face of the American lunar project in the 60’s.

The Maid (2009) 8/27/15 In this Chilean Sundance Grand Jury winner, a family retainer turns the tables when it looks like she’s going to be replaced by a younger woman.  Delicious evil star turn by famous actress Catalina Saavedra.

Mother (2009) 7/23/15 From Korean director Bong Joon-ho (Snowpiercer) – a devoted and deceptively innocuous mother stops at nothing to get her murderous son out of prison.

Freedom on My Mind (1994) 6/25/15 Oscar-nominated doc traces the violent, courageous and ultimately triumphant struggle for voter rights in 60’s Mississippi.  

Infinitely Polar Bear (2015) 6/18/15 Mark Ruffalo is in top form as a crazy but caring dad in this honest and winning first film by veteran producer Maya Forbes.

Dogtooth (2009) 6/11/15 A typically idiosyncratic festival favorite from Yorgos Lanthimos (The Lobster).  A father protects his teenage children from the world by confining them to the family estate. 

Control (2007) 6/4/15 This atypically moody rock n roll biopic about Ian Curtis, lead singer for Joy Division paints him as a doomed poet.  Impeccable performances by Sam Riley and Samantha Morton as his wife.  Black and white, directed by Joy Division photographer Anton Corbijn.   

Maggie (2015) 5/7/15 Arnold Schwarzenegger gives an surprisingly excellent, dialed-back performance as a father whose daughter is infected with a zombie virus and faces unbearable.  Post-apocalyptic, but not an action film.  

The Internet’s Own Boy: The Life of Aaron Schwartz (2014) 4/9/15 Digital-focused doc maker Brian Knappenberger hones on in programming prodigy Schwartz, who was instrumental in developing RSS, Creative Commons and Reddit, but was hounded to death after he successfully defeated the corporation-backed Stop Online Piracy Act.

Hustle & Flow (2004) 3/18/15 This Sundance breakout stars Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson as a pimp and his girlfriend trying to rap their way out of the ghetto, showing a lot of chemistry and foreshadowing Empire.

Claudine (1974) 2/19/15 In the heyday of Blaxploitation, Diahann Carroll got an Oscar nomination for this story of a single welfare mother who falls in love with a garbage man, played by James Earl Jones.  Music by Curtis Mayfield.

The Music of Chance (1993) 2/5/15 James Spader donned a black wig and moustache to play a hustling gambler.  But it’s not what you think.  The director is Peter Haas who went on to do Angels and Insects.  Mandy Patinkin, Charles Durning, Joel Grey. 

The Babadook (2014) 1/22/15 Mind-twisting Freudian study cloaked in a meticulously crafted horror film about a widowed mother and her troubled/troublesome 7-year-old, from first-time Aussie director Jennifer Kent.

Red Riding (2009) 1/15/15 A pre-breakout Andrew Garfield is outstanding in this unique UK TV project based on David Pearce’s serial killer novels.  Three novels, three films, three great directors, three years, three different looks (16mm; 35mm; digital) – all pulled together by screenwriter Tony Grisoni.  

Headhunters (1991) 11/20/14 From director Morten Tyldum (The Imitation Game) highest grossing Norwegian film ever.  A short and pathologically ambitious headhunter moonlights as an art thief to support his trophy wife.  Things go wrong.

Following (1998) 11/6/14 Great time to revisit Christopher Nolan’s first film.  A black and white low-budget creeper that interweaves three stories from three different time frames. 

Brothers of the Head (2006) 10/8/14 Remarkably authentic and intentionally unfunny mockumentary by the makers of LOST IN LA MANCHA follows a pair of conjoined twins who become punk rockers in 1970’s England.  

Ace in the Hole (1951) 9/25/14 Neglected and prescient film from Billy Wilder.  Kirk Douglas plays a corrupt, disgraced reporter who seizes an opportunity to go big when a smalltown man is trapped in a cave.  First time Wilder was writer, producer and director.

Stuck on You (2003) 9/18/14 Farrelly brothers cast Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear as conjoined twins who go to Hollywood.  Loaded with cameos – Cher, Nicholson, Leno, Streep.

The Devil’s Backbone (2001) 9/4/14 Early Guillermo de Toro evolving his signature mix of tenderness and phantasm.  Gothic horror set in an orphanage during the Spanish Civil War.    

Dark City (1998) 8/21/14 A man struggles with memories of his past, including a wife he cannot remember. Brilliant gothic labyrinth from Alex Proyas (The Crow; I, Robot).

THE LAST POST was originally published on FollowTheThread