#it’s okay though i’m not complaining
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realest thing i’ve ever read.
I think I think about kate martin every hour
#she’s taken over every thought#living in my head rent free i fear#it’s okay though i’m not complaining#kate martin
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sometimes i feel like i don’t quite fit in with the self ship community due to most of my “fanart” being irl instead of drawn.
part of why i’ve been working on a crittersona is to be able to do a mix but i do really enjoy taking actual pictures even if some people may find it strange. having allan in a life size and life like form is amazing and i love taking advantage of it. i absolutely adore him and i like sharing pictures that show that :)
i just feel like i’m almost in my own little category which is cool and i don’t mind but i also feel like i’m slightly isolated which has its pros and cons
#i’m not complaining just observing#i came across someone on twitter who i’d never interacted with who had me blocked#and i think that made this feeling a little bit stronger today#(i’m okay though just confused)#self ship#allan red#smiling friends
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and like, despite the deliciously shippable couples it has, Twinkling Watermelon is not a romcom, it’s a fantasy coming-of-age. the theme is family, the main relationship is between Eun Gyeol and his father and while their respective romantic storylines are crucial, they’re not central.
which is nice, on the one hand, because it offers a slightly different (and beautiful) kind of story, but then because instead of being [main couple] > [second couple] it’s [son and dad] > [son’s gf and mom], it ends up letting down Eun Yoo and Cheong-ah a bit and leaving their resolutions a bit rushed / open ended (you know, like how in other shows you’ll see the second couple standing together at the main characters’ wedding but no actual, solid resolution).
so the final scene of the show is primarily a bonding moment and a resolution for Yichan and Eun Gyeol, and you don’t get much of Cheongchan and a very quick last-moment wrapping up of Euneun (and like. what happened to our girls in the years in between?? we need answers!)
#which is… not a complaint necessarily#like yah the main characters are Eun Gyeol and Yichan this we know and it makes sense that the ending would be mainly about them#but it does feel like they swept some stuff under the rug for the girls when their stories were just as interesting#like we have the euneun kiss at the end and the very very last scene also belongs to Eun Yoo which is nice#but it’s also like okay wait! how did we get here? how did she realize the truth? what’s her life like now that everything has changed?#there’s definitely like. hints and subtext but I do wish we’d gotten more#and that’s the main couple. the second couple… I mean. they got married obviously#but we KNEW that from episode 1#that was always going to happen and I think it would’ve been nice to just have a bit more of them together at the end#though we do have Yichan speaking about her and making her blush that was cute#like. I’m not *complaining* I’m just saying that that’s where the weakness of the ending lies#it doesn’t have enough time so it sacrifices Eun Yoo and Cheong-ah a bit (especially Cheong-ah)#I feel like I’m not making sense atp just rambling and talking in circles but you get me right?? you understand my feelings#and heck I haven’t even MENTIONED Se Kyeong. no one knows what happened to her fr#elly's posts#twinkling watermelon#day 230925 of twinkling watermelon obsession
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i was looking up tips for formatting bilingual books (for example, a copy of idk the iliad with ancient greek on one side, english translation on the other), but i didn’t know the word describing this kind of format 🤔
so i was stringing together keywords like “book with two languages” and one of the results was a reddit post with someone trying to find a book that alternates between multiple languages, i.e., there are no translations, it’s it’s one text, but half of the story is in english, then the other half, or interwoven throughout, is in french or whatever
and it took strength to not suggest the hussite trilogy 🥴
#the elbow-high diaries#i need to read it a second time for the more bg characters and the politics. and i need to read it a third time for the dante.#and im chewing away at manuscript discovered in a dragon’s cave rn and#im kind of torn between trying to read it quickly (learn the content) and trying to dissect sentences and spelling (learn some vocabulary)#so you could say im half of the time trying to pay attention to words and their spelling and learn them based on the translation given#and then i get caught somewhat off guard#im like ‘ok that spelling is… that’s not polish. what is this. german.’#‘okay got it. alright [moves down page] ok now he’s just speaking latin for fun now’#i’m not complaining to be clear i just find it funny because there’s so many damn references and weaving together of different#languages cultures literary traditions canons mythologies etc.#it reminds me when i had just started reading interviews with sapkowski#and before then i had just read season of storms and i was like ‘what is all this latin how pretentious is he’#and then i read the interviews and i was like oh. that’s just how he talks#when the intellectual regis randomly quotes cicero in lotl… i can see where that came from#also again to be clear i don’t think it makes one particularly uniquely intellectual to know and use multiple languages#i think its probably what the global norm is#but what makes it funny with andrzej sapkowski is that#as dandelion said about regis: ‘(he) was an intellectual. and liked to demonstrate it’#but i think this is what i like about his writing—particularly bc i never was especially close to anyone like this irl#though i think this is maybe for the best… sometimes… intellectuals are best read and not known 😬😅
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently����😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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Had a very rude patron who unfortunately had valid complaints but was just. So mean to me when all I did was try to help
#hate it when a rude patron has a point.#not gonna lie though dealing with her kind of ruined my day#I was in a very good mood before and now I’m just. meh#I get really really stressed in confrontations and she made the stress chemicals flow#but the thing is that everything she complained about was not something I have the authority to change. even my boss doesn’t.#it’s admin level issues. so like while I agree some changes need to be made putting your frustrations on me is not going to fix anything.#and I have workarounds for these problems but she wasn’t willing to do any of them.#like okay I’m sorry we don’t have these authors in stock right now but I can order them through our very fast inter library courier system#but no. I had some in stock in large print (easier to read and the author she wants!) but no she’s not interested.#my thoughts
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WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE MY FUGLY UGLY ASS ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE X FAHRENHEIT 451 CROSSOVER DRAWING THAT I WAS FORCED TO DO FOR SCHOOL….. ITS SO UGLY AND MONTAG IS
WHITE.
AND THE HOUNDS ARE DISGUSTING THE COLORING IS SO SHITTY AND MILDRED …. Well ok she looks alright kindof but the COLORING ….. SKETCH WAS BETTER but do you guys. Do you still want to see it…….,,,,,,
ALSO NO OFFENSE TO WHITE PEOPLE PLEASE I LOVE YOU GUYS 🫶😁👍 within reason
#like ok maybe it isn’t. THAT bad#NO NO I TAKE THAT BACK I JUST LOOKED AT IT RIGHT NOW AND THE COMPOSITION IS ALL FUCKING VOER THE PLACE#IT. IT IS. THAT BAD#IF YOU GUYS SAY YESS YOULL SEE#ok but nasty bad art aside I know some of you will be asking why white Montag is such a bad thing and#there isn’t anything wrong with it!!! it’s just that for me personally#after I did a bit more thinking I was. physically incapable of perceiving Montag as anything other than POC/nonwhite#so when I look back at my old f451 art and stare into the eyes of a pale skittish twink it just#it doesn’t click. like that isn’t MY Montag if ykwim#now trembling BROWN skittish twink. that’s a different story#AGAIN I DONT have any issues with ppl making their own versions white I just think that . for me specifically. he looked a bit funny#a little off. a bit too crackerish for my liking#where is bros melanin 😭#I’m complaining right now but if I wanted to I could just… go in and try and make the skin tone darker#I might do that depending on how tired I feel after doomscrolling#also if it matters even though I have read the book over at least 8 times now not once have I touched either of the movies.#and it will STAY THAT WAY. until I completely log my notes for the book#then I can move on to the movies 🥰#but I will admit 2018 did sort of lead me to having a change of heart w my design. just a little. just a teensy bit. kinda. sort of?#actually not really now that I think about it#I have my own reasons.#TOO MANY WHITE PEOPLE MY EYES THEY BURN AAAYHHHHH MY EYES OW OW OW OWIEEEE#my Beatty design was so white that my eyes developed stage 4 cataracts#I needed a palate cleanser that WASNT Millie… oh god my Millie design…#she was white there too. terrible#it’s okay… 💔 I’ve since learned and moved on#ARGH GUYS I DONT HATE WHITE PEOPLE I JUST THINK THAT MORE SKIN COLOR VARIATIONS WOULD E NICE
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te vent-ish? under the cut.
i think my favorite part of today was when my uncle came up to me and told me i was ‘a real tough kid’ because i was wrestling with my brothers but one of them literally was holding me by the neck underwater and wouldn’t let me up until i started screaming bloody murder for him to stop because i felt like i was gonna pass out.
#i let him do it though#i don’t know why#its my fault#skipper speaks#vent#this happens every time i go in the water with them and i hate it#because it hurts a lot and i end up almost vomiting because they go too rough but if i say anything i get called a pussy#idk what to do anymore#i’m okay now don’t worry#just really tired#idk why i’m complaining though there are worse things going on#thing is my brothers are both bigger and stronger than me so i can’t really defend myself#one of them tried to get me to ‘bite the pool wall’#i guess that’s when it went too far because my other brother got me out#they scare me sometimes but i still love them i guess#just hurts when he does stuff like that#delete later
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it’s been so long since i’ve done abstract inspired art ugh fuck me
#it’s okay i actually really enjoy it#it’ll be a good exercise#i’m going to complain about it regardless though. as i do#one day i’ll shut up not today tho
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Guess what? It’s my day off!!!!
#really sucks that it’s so hot out though#we had like almost a week of 70s to low 80s#which isn’t even that nice for fall tbh#but after months of 90+ you become so grateful even for that#but of course that was just a tease#and now we’re back to ten degrees above normal again#like it’s supposed to be 90 every day for the next week at least#have i mentioned how much i can’t wait to move???#the weather just makes me so miserable i have to get out of here#just want to live somewhere that doesn’t have seven months of summer#and has an actual fall season#okay sorry for the rant lol i’m done 😂#i can’t help it though#if i can’t complain i’ll implode
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Ah yes… years ago when I finished Persona 3 FES I watched The Answer on YouTube because in FES it was locked on Hard Difficulty and I only played the Main Game on Normal Difficulty so I didn’t have the Personas for it. I haven’t finished Persona 3 Reload yet cause health issues but once again I watch Episode Aigis The Answer on YouTube this time because I don’t support predatory DLC Costs. Things change but some stay the same lol.
#trash meme#persona 3 episode aigis#persona 3 reload#persona 3 fes#persona 3#dlc#okay people keep complaining about the 2d cutscenes but they’re fine???#like maybe because I have over analyzed persona art#but the style of og p3 was sojima trying to mimic Kaz’s style#so I think it’s cool so see sojima’s insane growth and how’s he’s perfected his own style#like Kaz is very geometric and sojima is a lot looser#both are insanely good though#how nice of Atlus to release Aigis mental breakdown around the same time I’m having a mental breakdown
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Guys I’m so sad. I didn’t even get half way through my coffee before I had to leave my house for the bus </3 it’s times like these that I wish I could drive </3333
#⁂ chef evaluation#✧⁑ cookie cutter#it’s not that serious lol I’m just being dramatic…as usual#maybe if I had gotten up earlier I would’ve been able to finish it#I do in fact sleep for like 30 more minutes after my alarm goes off#no I will not stop doing that#yes I will continue to complain about how early I have to get up#WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND ENJOYS GETTING UP AT 5:40????#CERTAINLY NOT ME.#okay ramble over gonna try and read something before class lol#maybe rot…or try again. probably try again.#not to worry though! rot I’m coming for you soon be ready
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not my mom giving me the silent treatment even now that i‘m an adult. lol but not so lol i guess
#she’s giving me the silent treatment cause i told her i don’t think it’s okay that she called my therapist behind my back#literally sat down and told her i get why she did it but i can’t trust her and she just proved why#and now she’s being her pathetic self and just doesn’t get in contact with me at all anymore#i‘m not complaining about not talking to my parents right now it’s just that i KNOW she’s giving me the silent treatment#cause of course i’m the one that messed up and hurt her and she has to be the victim again#like why the fuck are you mad you ignored my boundaries once again after i told you i don’t want to talk about anything w u and my therapist#you still went and called her even though i clearly told you i don’t want to open up cause it doesn’t make any sense to me#especially since you clearly don’t listen anyways and just misinterpret everything i say even when i communicate in a clear and simple way#also therapy is supposed to be a safe space for me but thanks for fucking that up#but okay you go girl i guess like wtf#personal
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UUGGHHHHHH FUCK YOU NETFLIX
#textpost#guess whose complaining again#genuinely mad about this though#like I really thought this would be different#nope#same as the end of the fucking world#same as I’m not okay with this#same as it always is#idk maybe I’m way too upset about this
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@windblown-cecilia
I forgot I made the give me a characters outfit to draw myself in and I opened my ibis paint and then was wonderfully jump scared by myself in the Madoka outfit and I hope you know it scared me so bad because I don’t wear anything close to that. You gave me a reason to jumpscare myself.
(This is my practice sketch)
#SERIOUSLY I OPENED JT AND I WAS LIKE AAAAAAAA#I FIRGOT I DREW THAT#might be because I drew it after a long night of sugar adrenaline and a lot of saying ‘what the fork’#ANYWAYS I HAVE AN ACYUAL ONE IM MAKING BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW#also you don’t have to reblog this I just wanted you to see you jump scared me really bad#like really really bad#ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THE SILLIEST OUTFIT POSSIBLE#I CAN NOW DRAW THE OUTFIT SND MY FRIEND HAS A MASSIVE MADOKA ON HIS SHOE#anyways I’m struggling#I can’t do poses#BUT THERE IS ONE POSE I WANT TO DO IN SPECIFIC#I’ll get there#I have to draw myself in this then the yuno outfit and my sister requested me in the kagamine len outfit and her in kagamine rin’s#I love doing these though so I’m not complaining#some details are left out but. it’s okay because that’s just a sketch and concept art
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new emotion unlocked it’s called tracy chapman fast car 3am breakdown
#idk if it’s just bc i havent updated this app in literally like idk 5 years or if everyone has this#but if someone likes or reblogs an old post and you click on it itll send you to your own blog and show you#your own suggested posts on your own blog but like old posts. idk i’m sure everyone can do that but anyway#everytime some random person likes a super old post i click on it then i go down these rabbit holes or reading my own posts from like 2013#or 2016 or whenever and it’s like god. it’s truly like time traveling bc i read those posts and i’m like i do not remember typing that#but i Do like i was there but was i like u know what i mean and i just get engulfed in reading my own personal posts trying to figure out#what the fuck i was complaining about that day and then i also remember how much happier i was then even though i wasnt but like idk idk.#it’s just the nostalgia bait and i know it but also is it lmao like. id go back in a heartbeat#then i read my own posts talking about my dogs and i want to die or i read about me talking about my ex and i want to die#or just anything like i’m addicted to just looking back into the past just helpless like i can’t warn this bitch about anything#that’s going to happen and she was so clueless she was sooooo naive like she couldve fixed everything and yet.#anyway yeah it’s literally 3am and i have fast car on repeat so no i’m not okay goodnight <3
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