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samkerrworshipper · 8 months ago

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how did it end? | arsenal x reader

warnings: suicidal themes, self harm, alcohol abuse, depression

um yeah lol feel grateful for this because i’m going to go ghost mode for the rest of the week! to the anons who have a problem with my writing, don’t fucking read this if it’s such a problem, in fact don’t read any of my stuff at all, my page is a better place without you.

Everything about the day had felt wrong.

Everything about your last month had felt wrong, really the whole year if you thought about it.

It had all started after a blindside move from your home club. Leaving Rsenal had been the worst thing that had ever happened, but you’d known it was coming after they’d signed Russo. There was only so much room for strikers on the team, and your contract happened to be out as the summer started, leaving you as a free agent.

Somehow, you’d ended up at PSG, which you still didn’t understand. There had been offers everwhere, Lyon, Real Madrid, Man City, Chelsea, Bayern, Wolfsburg, yet your manager had fucked you and gone for PSG.

It had been a clusterfuck from the day you’d arrived, the language barrier, your horrible mental state, the different playing structure, the weather, your lonely apartment, the lack of friendships, the lack of support.

It had taken a month before you’d crashed and burned, withdrawing yourself from both club and national team. You’d been lower then low, sadder then sad, completely withdrawn from your own life. You wish you’d stayed, you wish that none of it had of happened, because maybe life wouldn’t have turned out the way it had, maybe you’d be happier.

Your Arsenal teammates had visited as often as the schedule permitted, helped you move your whole life from one country to the other, but at the end of the day you were still hundreds of miles away from them.

You’d stopped answering their calls after a few weeks, too consumed with the completely inebriating struggle that you were going through in Paris, trying to stay true to yourself whilst being so far in the deep end of the pool that you were struggling to keep your head above the water.

After the call to Sarina and the call to your manager it had made more sense for you to return to London, even if it had pained you to do so.

Not a month after you’d packed your whole life away against your will, you were packing it all back up.

You didn’t like what happened in Paris, you weren’t proud of it, all you wanted was to get back to your house in St. Albans, but you were also terrified of what your ‘home’ looked like now. It wasn’t the same place it had been for the last 8 years, you didn’t have your bestfriends as teammates more, you didn’t have any teammates, you were unofficially, self-decidedly, retired. Sarina had begged for you to return, tried to reckon with you, but you were done, your love for the game had died in Paris and you had no desire to re-open the wounds that had been torn into your skin in France.

You didn’t tell anyone, you just hoped that you’d be able to avoid everyone for as long as possible, that you’d just be able to slowly become nonexistent and become forgotten by everyone from the past 20 years of your life, but you were aware that life didn’t work that way.

You were sick of all the pain you were going through, all the suffering that you were being forced to endure for no good reason. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, you didn’t feel like you had anybody to talk to about it, it was just you nowadays.

That was how you spent most of your nights, alone.

Alone with a bottle of your posion of choice sitting on your bathroom floor.

It was the only thing that made it all better nowadays, the feeling of alcohol slipping down your throat, typically with a razor blade in your other hand.

There was something satisfying about it all, something perfect about being perfectly intoxicated with a sliver of metal between your finger tips.

On this particular day, you knew you’d drunk to much, but it had all been wrong. You’d woken up with a headache, in your shower, the tiles of your floor stained with your own blood. It wasn’t a uncommon place for you to wake up anymore, but everything about it felt wrong. Your head was aching in a way it never had, your whole body was hurting and for some reason it all just felt off.

You went about your normal routine, pushing the temperature of your shower to as hot as it would go, finding peace in the blistering water falling down across your skin. Once your skin was bright red you’d climb out, falling into your bed to help to sleep off the rift that the hangover had left inside of you. Around midday you would climb out of your bed, slipping out from the covers to enjoy your few hours of life that your days now gave you. Sometimes it would be spent in your kitchen, trying your hardest to piece together some kind of sustenance, other days making and eating food was too hard. On this particular day, you forgoed your kitchen, instead opting to walk straight past it and out onto your patio, as per the usual london weather, it was pouring down, but you didn’t mind too much.

The rain was nice, it reminded you that not everything in life was pretty, your life certainly wasn’t pretty anymore. Rain was a reminder that everyday could be turned upside down just based off of something that was completely out of anybodys control.

After deciding it was a bit too wet to enjoy the outdoors you tracked your way back indoors, your bare feet creasing and digging into the hard, cold wood floors of your home. You eyed off your uncomfortable couch, the one that your manager had found on facebook marketplace which was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture you thought could be bought. It kind of felt like a metaphor for you, you’d been bought, and it had been the worst decision PSG had made, and you were destined, just like the couch, to be thrown away without anybody really knowing or caring.

You walked straight past the couch and back to your bed, there wasn’t any living for you to do today, it just felt that way, so you pulled the covers back over your body and enjoyed the moment of peace that your bed gave you.

It didn’t last long, your body relaxing into the mattress for a few seconds before the restlessness took over. It was like that nowadays, your body never able to stop. You figured it was probably a result of your body going from pushing its limits everyday, mentally and physically to you doing absolutely nothing. Previously, when you’d been in a depressive episode you would sleep all day, no matter what had been happening, but not anymore. Now, you had to drink yourself into oblivion before your body would force itself to relax, you could be as exhausted and tired as you wanted but your body just wouldn’t let you sleep.

Your brain convinced you that your mattress was the lumpiest mattress made, when you really knew you’d hand picked it for it’s comfort. You brain tricked you into feeling like all of your curtains were wide open on a summers day when really they were drawn closed. Your mind was playing tricks on you and you didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.

That’s how you’d ended up on your bathroom floor so early, the overwhelming need for you to fix the pain becoming too much for you. With a bottle of vodka in one hand and your scared silver blade in the other you finally found yourself at peace.

The stomachache and burn of the vodka going down your throat didn’t truly matter, not when you were staring down at the thin criss cross of lines all over your thighs.

Some were healed, some were thick, some were thin, some were sore. They all told a different story. Thighs were the easiest, less arteries, good to hide, disguisable. They didn’t bleed the same way wrists did, they bled slow and painfully, a couple of lines never hurt you.

With the mix of last nights alcohol though and the new vodka mixed with the sight of blood you found yourself feeling woozy.

You hadn’t always been a cutter, self-harm hadn’t always been your vice. It had always been football. From the minute the ball was at your feet it had been football, and you wouldn’t of had it any other way. It had been your everything, football had been your life and until it had been taken from you, you hadn’t understood the true magnitude of what that meant. Your life had no purpose, no substance, nothing, without your game. Football had been the only thing you were good at, and you were extremely good at it. You’d given up on school in pursuit of your footballing career and it had been worth it, up until now.

Now your life was nothing but a big mess.

You wished it had worked out in Paris, you wished that you’d been able to farewell London and make a new home in France, but it hadn’t meant to be. All of your talent, all of your love, all of your passion, it was all for nothing now. Everything you’d ever done amounted to nothing, you were nothing without a pair of boots on your feet and a football in front of you.

You were never going to be the same again, it was all different now, and you were man enough to admit that you missed what you’d had. There were things that you lost in life, in the heartbreak and the struggles, you just hadn’t expected that you would lose the meaning of your life in the process. You had a hard time understanding why it had to happen to you, why you’d been the unlucky one. You paid your dues, you’d woken up at 5am every single morning to run drills, you’d worked your ass of and yet here you were, drunk on your bathroom floor wishing that you were gone.

Once upon a time you’d believed that a person would do anything for the thing that they loved most in the world, but you didn’t believe ion that anymore, love was supposed to be the most powerful thing on earth, and yet it had failed you.

It was funny because you could drink all of the alcohol you wanted but it never made you forget about what you’d lost. The hundreds of memories of football over the years, Arsenal, it had all been Arsenal. You’d been the kind of player where you’d always been one club, from academy all the way through to the senior team, you bled arsenal. Nobody even asked you what your dream team was, because it had always been Arsenal, you hadn’t had eyes for anywhere else. Yet you’d been thrown away like nothing.

You’d loved playing for Arsenal, when you put your jersey on at the beginning of every game you felt ten times stronger, qall of your bestest friends had been at Arsenal, your bridesmaids, your for life friends, and yet now it all felt like you were drifting away.

For the longest time you’d chosen the good options, the healthy options, what was right.

Now though, you chose destruction.

You sleep when your blackout drunk.

You drink caffeine late at night.

You stay awake until your eyes burn.

You always say yes to whatever vice your brain can think of.

You drink water instead of food and vodka instead of water,

You’re isolated beyond the point of it being okay, nowadays you spend more time with yourself then anybody else.

Maybe it was the vodka that made you feel particularly adventurous, or the scent of your own blood seeping across your skin, but whatever it was it somehow inclined you to reach for your phone which was rested on the tiles besides you.

You’d turned your notifications off long ago, as soon as the trade had come through.

You’d ignored everyone’s messages for the sake of preserving your own mental state, you couldn’t deal with the constant back and forth of trying to keep friendships which felt like had already gone.

You were more intoxicated than normal, or that was how you rationalized your behaviour, because there really wasn’t any other explanation to it, unless all of the emotions from the last few months had suddenly hit you a lot harder then normal.

But you were sick of being alone, you knew that, you’d been alone for far too long.

Maybe the alcohol had pushed that to the forefront to your mind, or you’d just become inherently desperate.

Your phone rang, the sound vibrating against the tile floor of the bathroom, amplifying it to your ears, the noise ringing out in your ear canal.

It didn’t take long for the ringing to cease, the sound of silence absorbing around you.

“y/n? Is that you?”

You blinked a few times, swallowing down the final remnants of your last swig of vodka.

“Hey.”

Your voice was shaky, from the days of not saying any words at all, you didn;t have any reason to speak if you were all by yourself.

“Hi.”

The silence stayed thick, obviously neither of you unsure about what to say.

“Are you okay, no ones heard anything from you in a few weeks.”

You’d vanished, for the good of yourself.

“I wish I’d stayed, le.”

Their was a deep breath exhaled from the other side of the line.

“I wish you’d stayed too, y/n.”

You couldn’t think of a single positive that had come from you leaving, not a single one.

“I wish I’d stayed now, I wish I’d been given the chance.”

You could fele the tears building up in the corners of your eyes.

“Me too, y/n.”

The tears were falling, the water falling from your cheeks falling onto the blood on your legs, the two liquids mixing together, the blood turning into red as they two mixed, blood did run thicker than water.

“I wish i’d stayed le, I wish none of this had happened.”

You didn’t want to know what the blonde on the other side of the phone was thinking about at this moment, you weren;t thinking about her, just yourself.

“Hold in there kid, for me, it’s all going to work itself out.”

There was no working it out, this was the end for you.

“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend that i wish I hadn’t of stayed, that I don’t spend everyday regretting it, I want it all back.”

You pushed the blade down against your skin again.

Drawing the metal against your skin until the blood had begun to pool at the base of the two or three inch line.

“Where are you kid, are you in Paris? Do you need me to send someone to come and check on you? You shouldn’t be drinking like this by yourself, especially not in season.”

There wasn’t a season for you anymore, you were free, you could do whatever you pleased.

“I’m at home, and I’m fine.”

You pulled the blade up, and onto a new patch of skin, it was all littered with past scars, raised white lines.

“You don’t sound fine kid, I have plenty of friends in France, don’t make me get them to come and hunt you down.”

Her voice was an attempt at threatening, but it sounded more worried then anything.

“I’m not in Paris, I left after my contract was annulled.”

Annulled aka we’re letting you go without any pay but you still technically belong to us until the length of your contract is up.

“Annulled?”

You would have thought Sarina would have told the team, but apparently not.

“Haven’t you heard? I’m retired.”

Retired was not a word that you thought should fall from a twenty four year olds mouth, but here you were.

“Retired? Where are you, y/n?”

You supposed the alcohol might have been making your tongue a little bit looser.

“In my house, in my bathroom.”

Another deep exhale, you could just picture the woman pinching the bridge of her nose, maybe even frowning.

“Your house, where?”

You picked up the bottle of alcohol, taking a break from the razor blade to allow the vodka to ease back down your oesophagus.

“St Albans.”

The line went silent for a few seconds.

“You’re back home, since when?”

Another sip of your vodka.

“Couple of weeks, France wasn’t for me.”

France was the end of you.

“How much have you been drinking? You sound awful.”

You didn’t think you sounded that bad, but you also supposed a sober person would have a different perspective.

“Vodka, feels good le.”

Another deep exhale.

“I’m going to come over.”

Rustling on the other side of the phone.

“I’m fine, I’m good, you don’t need to come over.”

You were lying to both yourself and Leah.

“You aren’t fine, you aren’t good, and even if you want to tell yourself you are, I need to see you in real life because for the last months I’ve thought you were as good as dead. Are you safe, y/n?”

You didn’t know how to answer that question, you hadn’t felt safe with yourself in what felt like forever.

“I’m not unsafe.”

More rustling on the other side of the line.

“Do I need to bring somebody with me? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

You thought about it for a few seconds.

“I’m okay Le.”

The alcohol made you feel more okay then you had been, so you supposed it wasn;t fully a lie.

“You’re drunk at 6pm, I don’t think you are fine. I’m going to go get Viv, she knows how to deal with you when you’re spiralling, I’m going to stay on the phone with you and ask you some questions, okay, I’m walking out to my car now.”

You nodded your head, the realized that Leah wasn’t in front of you.

“Answer me honestly, are you safe right now, do you feel safe?”

You didn’t feel unsafe, you kewn by the looks of things, you were in a unsafe position. Alcohol and self harm wasn’t exactly the safest thing, but you felt at peace, and you knew that you weren’t causing any serious bodily harm to yourself.

“Depends on your perspective.”

You heard the sound of car doors.

“Okay, I’ll break it down, hmm? Are you within arms reach of something that could cause harm to you or others?”

Fuck.

“Yes.”

The sound of the phone connecting to bluetooth and keys in a ignition.

“What?”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek.

“Bottle of vodka and a blade.”

It wasn’t hard for you to admit, not when this had been how you’d spent all of your nights the last while.

“What kind of blade?”

You wished you’d stayed, you wished you weren’t in this position.

“Razor.”

You could feel the bile rising in your throat, whether it was alcohol related or from the cosntant questions.

“Alright, I want you to push them both as far away from you as possible, don’t look at them, don’t think about them, think about me. Now, have you caused yourself any harm?”

God, if you’d been able to stay none of this would be happening, none of it.

“Some cuts, le I think I’m going to be sick.”

The tears were full throttle, the sound of somebody’s voice that you’d missed so much in your ears and the vomit bottling itself up in your throat.

“Go to the toilet bowl, let it out.”

The taste of bile in your throat was never going to be something you enjoyed, the feeling of the new cuts along your thighs creasing as you crouched over the bowl stinging in a way that reawakened you.

The vomiting didn’t really stop, the continuous gagging being the only sound in your bathroom, beside the sound of Leah’s car.

Eventually, you finished, all of the clearish liquid mixed with your stomach acid sitting at the bottom of the bowl like a disgusting soup.

You laid down against your tiles, enjoying the cold that covered your skin.

Viv must have been picked up, because you could hear her and Beth talking in the background, beth, happy beth, beth who had once been your bestest friend.

“Bubba, you still with us, we’re just around the corner.”

You let out a groan in aggreance.

They continued to talk to you, allowing you to reply with different huffs and noises as they neared closer and closer to your home.

You ignored the hit of endorphins that you felt melt across you at the sound of your front door unlocking, Leah had kept your key, clearly.

It was a few seconds before your bathroom was crowded by the presence of your past teammates, the three sets of eyes all falling on you.

“Beth, go get a wet handwasher, Leah go get her some water.”

Viv’s voice was soft, but commanding, her body immediately gravitating to your own.

She crouched down beside you, grabbing you by the shoulders and pushing you upwards, bringing you eye to eye with her.

“It’s good to have you back.”

You burst into tears, you’d hated being in St Albans out of fear that you’d be rejected, that you’d be told to go back to France, and yet here you were being welcomed back with open arms.

“I wish I’d stayed vivi, I wish I’d stayed, I wish none of this had happened, I want it all back, I want my life back. I can’t do this life anymore.”

Viv brought you into her arms.

“I know liefje, I know, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to figure it out, but we need to get you safe first, and this isn’t it. You need to be in a better place.”

If Viv had a problem with the way thart you clinged to her clothes, literally holding on for dear life, then she didn’t brign it up.

“You could have called one of us earlier you know, when you were struggling in France. You could have called me, you know I’ve been where you are, I’ve moved and hated every single part of it, we could have helped you before it had gotten this bad.”

You shook your head.

“Nobody could have helped me vivi, nothing could have helped me, I was done, I’m done.”

Viv nodded into you.

“We’ve got to get you cleaned up, and then you’ll go back to Leah’s house, and then we’ll work on fixing this, okay, Kyra’s going to be so happy to know you’re back, she’s missed you, the bloody kid hasn’t shut up about you and she only knew you for a week. Kim’s been contacting everybody, trying to figure out where you were, her little protege, she’s been hardly functioning, we all have been, you can’t just disappear on us like that, you had us all worried sick.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Really?”

Viv let go of you a bit, to get a proper look at you.

“Just because you’re forced to leave doesn’t make you any less Arsenal. You can take the girl out of arsenal but not arsenal out of the girl. No matter where you go, or what you do, you’re always going to be one of us.”

You could feel more tears beginning to form.

“I don’t know how it could have ended how it did vivi.”

You felt the Dutch take a deep breath.

“I don’t know either, but we’ve got you alright, we’ve got you now, we won’t let you leave, your staying with us forever, you took a year off of my life for everyday that you ghosted us.”

You looked down and around you, at the mostly empty vodka bottle, the blood, the scars, it all, and you didn’t know how it had all ended up like this.

“How did it all end vivi?”

Viv looked at you, just as lost as you felt.

“We’re going to figure it out.”

——————————————————————

just thought i’d end this with a little etiquette lesson for any anons xo

if you feel like dropping hate over this in my inbox… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at me for this fic… don’t.

if you feel like making personally rude arguments about me… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at for me for expressing my struggles with writing and sometimes making mistakes… don’t.

just don’t. go touch some grass, go for a run, buy a new fucking vibrator. i can guarantee you will get more pleasure from a good orgasm then dropping aimless hate in my inbox.

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lostdreamr-blog1 · 10 months ago

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Pinky Promise 3

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Word count: 2K

Pairings: Jake Seresin X Reader

A/N: Round 3 of Pink Promise! I have a few more I want to put out, but if you have something you want to see in them let me know! It's been a lot of fun writing these. Thanks for reading!!

The two of you were sitting around Jake’s house eating takeout Chinese food. Some old movie was playing on the TV. For some reason Jake preferred the classics but you found them to be incredibly boring. It was often you found yourself in this same position, sprawled out on his couch, sitting in a comfortable silence as you watched another movie you couldn’t retell the plot of.

Which is why in that moment you chose to say, “I got into medical school.”

It was nearly comical watching him choke on the spoonful of rice. He sat up and looked over to you, still coughing up those last pieces. “I’m sorry. What did you just say?” The look he gave you was disbelief mixed with something else. Something you hadn’t seen before.

“I don’t think I stuttered.” You took a bite of an egg roll and waited for his mind to catch up.

“Medical school? For doctors?” You couldn’t help but smirk at his choice of questions. “Yes, like for doctors. I thought pilots were supposed to be smart?”

He shook his head and laughed, “When the hell did you have time for that?”

You finished off the egg roll and shrugged your shoulders, “What do you think I do all day while you’re at work?”

This path you took was one you had been on for a while Everyone saw you as the girl who parties, the one who doesn’t care about the outcome of her decisions. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth. And instead of showing people how wrong they were about you, you let them form their very low opinions. Pleasing people was never one of your strong points and a few judgmental comments weren’t going to tear you down.

Jake was clearly still processing things but paused the movie to give you his full attention. What he said next though, nearly made you cry right then and there.

“I am so proud of you, sweetheart. Holy crap you are going to be a doctor.” He got up and pulled you into a tight hug. It was then the look on his face made more sense. It was a look of pride, and one you hadn’t gotten before.

“Tell me all about it. Where are you going? When do you start?” His enthusiasm for this made you feel something that part of you was afraid to feel. This man was slowly becoming your best friend, which is why you pushed down all other feelings. No need to ruin a good thing.

“Well, I decided I wanted to stay close to home and was lucky enough to get into the University of California San Diego. My GPA was a little short of what they wanted, but I killed the interview. Something about your dad dying while fighting for his country tends to pull on heartstrings.”

Jake shook his head, “You did not pull that card.”

You waved a hand at him, “Please. I would be dumb not to. I also threw in about staying close to the base in case anything happened to Bradley. And that I might follow in the family footsteps one day.”

Jake’s head tilted at the last part. “You are not enlisting. I draw the line at that.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Down tiger. All I meant was that I would want to work at a hospital close to base. The one all of you get sent to when something goes wrong.”

Relief was evident as he exhaled. “I don’t think the military could handle you anyway.”

It was true. You were never one to follow orders well. Plus having a third Bradshaw in the Navy would be too much for anyone.

You picked the remote back up and resumed the movie. While Jake thought this was a big deal, you were ready to get back to the movie night. You still had a few months until school started anyway.

The movie had been playing for a few minutes, but you could feel eyes on you every now and then. “Is something the matter?”

You glanced over to the man next to you and watched him shake his head. “Nothing. You just keep surprising me, that’s all.”

“Well, either turn your attention back to this movie or I’m putting something better on. Maybe something made in this decade.” A chuckle graced your ears and a quick, “Yes ma’am.”

It wasn’t until the credits were running that he said, “You better not forget about me when you become a big shot doctor.”

“I don’t think I could forget about you even if I tried.” And it was the truth. That one drunken call has led you to one of the best things in life.

“Pinky promise you won’t.” He had his signature smirk on full display as he held out his pinky for you to shake on. You happily gave him yours, thrilled that the Top Gun pilot has accepted this form of promises.

When he pulled away, he asked, “What made you want to become a doctor?” It was a simple question with a very loaded answer.

“When my mom was sick, it was just me and her most of the time. Bradley was off at the academy, something she wouldn’t tell him but absolutely hated. And I found myself wanting to give her some sort of joy to offset my brother’s choices. I made her a promise that I was going to graduate and get a degree in something. Something that would make a difference. It took a while to figure out what that was, but the look of pride on her face when I said medical school, I only wish I had a photo of that single moment.

“When there were days I questioned if I could do it or if I even still wanted to, I think back to that conversation and all doubts went out the window. There are very few things in life I want more than graduating from med school which is why I worked so hard to even get it.” Jake wiped a tear that I didn’t know had fallen.

“She would’ve been happy that you accomplished a goal while still holding onto yourself. That you had fun while doing it. Not too many people can find that balance which tells me you are going to do amazing. But if you ever need some sort of motivation or a simple distraction from school, you can call me anytime sweetheart.”

And just like that, you knew Jake Seresin was going to be in your life for as long as you could keep him.

After the incident a little while back, your brother made an effort to be more present in your everyday life. Which meant he was currently over at your apartment criticizing how you were making dinner.

“At any point you can either cook yourself or shut up.” Bradley held up his hands in surrender.

“All I’m saying is that you are going to burn the bottom of it if you don’t stir it more often.” You turned around from the food and pointed the utensil in your hand at him. Which just so happened to be a knife.

“Listen here bird boy. My house, my rules which means you can sit your judgmental ass down before I do something you can’t bounce back from. Last I checked you needed all ten fingers to fly.”

Again, he held up his hands and thankfully kept his mouth shut while you finished up. It wasn’t too much longer before you were dishing out food for the two of you and sitting down to eat it like a normal family. The two of you sat in silence while you ate, neither of you knowing what to say.

It was like this most nights. After your mom died Bradley threw himself into his work, leaving you to fend for yourself. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but the two of you grew apart as the years went on, leaving you to call your brother only when you needed help. This is what formed his new picture of you. He only saw you when you were at your worst.

But he was trying and the least you could do was meet him halfway.

“You know how you see me as careless and not at all organized with life?” You watched as your brother sighed and shook his head.

“We have gone over this. That is not how I see you. We just have different goals in life and that’s fine.” You waved him off.

“Right. Well, I am pleased to tell you that I’m not as big as a fuck up as you might think. I start med school in a few months.” Bradley dropped his spoon, sending food splattering on the counter.

You watched his facial expressions, looking or hoping for the one you got the other day from Jake. It wasn’t that you needed the validation from your brother, but it would be nice to see it for once.

“Med school? The school where you go to become a doctor?” You snorted at the similar question Jake had asked.

“What is with pilots and their lack of common sense. Yes, Bradley. The school for doctors.” You grabbed a napkin to wipe up the drops of food while he tried to form words.

“How?” You froze at that single word. It shouldn’t surprise you, the lack of faith this man had in you. But it still stung.

“The same way anyone gets in. Ace a test, get decent grades, and interview well. Not too hard when you think about it.” Which wasn’t exactly true. You had a lot of all-nighters, tears shed at the near impossible dream, and many bumps along the way. But you had to do it.

“Mom and dad would be proud of you.” Your eyes met his and you saw something different in them. It wasn’t the pride you were looking for but sadder. Like the weight of those words cut through him.

“I know. I was always trying to follow in your footsteps, even if I did take a longer path. But you know dad would’ve been ecstatic to see you wear the patch he tried so hard for. And mom, well mom would’ve eventually gotten over her fears of you being a pilot and saw how you were born for this. You know that, right?”

He cleared his throat and focused back on his food. “Anyone else know? It’s a pretty big deal.”

You picked up on the change of topic and said, “Your arch nemesis knows. Besides that, the friend list is pretty scarce these days.”

He slowly nodded his head, “You seem to spend a lot of time with him.”

“He’s a good friend. No need to look too far into it. I know the two of you have your issues, but he’s never given me a reason to question his intentions.”

Bradley hummed in response, but he didn’t fully believe you when it comes to only being friends. He’s seen the way Jake is at work, but with you he was completely different. You might not see it or are trying to ignore it, but he knew better.

“Are you and him still at each other’s throats?” Bradley rolled his eyes, “It’s not my fault he thinks he’s better than everyone else. He’s insufferable.”

You grabbed the finished plates and took them to the sink. “You know what would get under his skin? If you laughed at everything he said. I think that would rile him up good.”

Bradley squinted his eyes at you, “I thought the two of you were friends? Why would you tell me that?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “He is always listening to me complain about you. This way he can do it for once so it’s more even.”

Bradley threw his napkin at you and shook his head, “You’re a jerk, you know that?”

You threw him one of Jake’s signature smirks, “But I’m your jerk.”

Tag List: @rosiahills22 @sunlitsunflowers @dempy @mamaskillerqueen @luckyladycreator2 @atarmychick007 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @topguncultleader @alilstressyandlotdepressy @avengers-fixation @chaoticcassidy @alldaysdreamers

#hangman x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman x reader #topgun maverick #jake seresin x you #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #hangman top gun #chelsea writes

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moonlight-alexia · 10 months ago

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friend night into date night | l.w.

leah williamson x reader | 1.6k | an almost weekly tradition where leah gets to spend uninterrupted time with her favourite person

ˏˋ°•*⁀this is my first time writing for a real person, i used to write for fictional characters. hope you like it :)

Ever since you got back from your year long trip, Leah made sure you had one night almost every week where it was just the two of you. The two of you together doing anything you wanted, free from any and all expectations. Leah always tried to make time for these nights though there would always be a break whenever she was away on camp with England. Leah loved representing her country but hated being away from you, though the messages you’d send her of how proud of Leah you were would always help.

Normally these nights consisted of going out for dinner, exploring places you haven’t been or just staying in with either takeout or you cooked for her. Either way they always ended the same with you sprawled out on Leah’s couch watching movies and today was just like any other. Leah insisted on taking you to this new restaurant that just opened, remembering how you had been talking her ear off about it for months. There was no doubt in her mind when she instantly made a booking to take you there. Leah would do anything to make you happy, anything to see a smile brighten up your face.

Leah knew she made the right choice when you didn’t stop gushing over the food and how good it was and how happy you were to be there with her. You might talk a lot but never once did Leah make you feel like you were annoying or boring her. She always listened with a smile spread across her face.

‘Who’s idea was it to walk,’ You complained while wrapping your arms around your body trying to find some warmth on the walk back to Leah’s apartment.

‘If you’re cold,’ Before you could protest Leah took off her jacket and placed it over your shoulders while wrapping an arm around your waist pulling you closer to her. Warmth quickly spread over you, liking the idea of having Leah wrapped around you in some way or another.

‘But what if you get cold Le?’ You breathed out softly, leaning your head on her shoulder looking up at her. ‘I have like a million layers on, I’m sure I can spare you one without freezing,’ Leah smiled down at you warmly, watching the way you threw your head back slightly while laughing.

‘Keep it babe. It looks better on you anyway,’ Leah stopped you from giving her jacket back the second you walked through her apartment doors. Feeling your cheeks grow warm, you turned your head away slightly trying to keep your smile under control, ‘You get the snacks and I’ll get the blankets?’ You nodded thankful for the distraction from how your heart had started beating a little faster.

The movie hadn’t been on for long before Leah wrapped her arm around your shoulder pulling you into her side. You liked being close to her, something about Leah always made you feel warm and safe. Leah often kept you close, feeling the need to protect you whether it was in big crowds or just the two of you, knowing you were close to her made her happy. It wasn’t long after she held you close that your head ended up laying in Leah’s lap with her fingers running gently through your hair.

Anyone who didn’t know the two of you often mistook you for being together, not knowing how long you had been such close friends for. You were most comfortable around Leah and she was most comfortable around you. It had always been that way, even when you were little, and it had never changed.

‘Le,’ You whined out, ‘Can I use your phone? Mine died and I’m way too comfortable to get up,’ Leah laughed softly at the way you dramatically threw your phone down against the couch. She rolled her eyes playfully while you gave her a look that she just couldn’t say no to.

‘Sure, now put those eyes away,’ Leah smiled at you before covering your eyes, they were her biggest weakness and you knew how to play that to your advantage.

‘Le, aw I’m your lock screen. You’re mine too! See,’ Reaching for your phone trying to get it to light up to show her before groaning remembering that it was dead, ‘Oh I’ll show you later. Passcode please Le,’ Not tearing your eyes away you watched while Leah pressed each number, instantly recognising the group of numbers, ‘Wait, Le that’s my birthday,’ You turned your head furrowing your eyebrows slightly.

‘Oh is that what that is,’ Leah tried to feign innocence. A quick and brief comment while turning her head back to the movie, pretending to watch it while her thoughts were racing through her mind. Leah realises that you know her well enough to know that anything she does is never out of coincidence.

Thankfully, for Leah, you didn’t press that topic, happily turning your attention to the phone in your hand while listening to the movie playing and enjoying the way Leah’s fingers massaged your head. It wasn’t until the movie ended that you could feel Leah staring down at you. Locking her phone, you placed it down alongside your currently dead phone before meeting her gaze smiling softly at each other. Leah’s mind was racing with thoughts of you, ones she couldn’t shake no matter what she did. You noticed the way her smile faltered slightly and her body tensed up against yours. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion caused Leah to sigh.

‘I have to show you something,’ Leah was normally confident and bold but right now she was slightly apprehensive. Her slight change in demeanour had made you a little unsettled but you let Leah pull you from the couch and into her room. Sure you had been in her room plenty of times but right now it made you nervous to be in here, not knowing what was about to happen.

Leah rummaged through her closet, almost wishing she could back out from what she was about to show you knowing it might change things. Hoping things between the two of you wouldn’t change for the worse. It was a risk Leah was willing to take, her heart just couldn’t take it much longer. Leah pulled out a small box from the top of her closet, gently placing it down on the bed next to you. Careful with the box as if the contents inside could break easily.

You gave Leah a reassuring smile, it was enough to get her to open allowing you to see the contents of the small box. Your eyes were wide and in awe at what was inside, ‘Le you kept all the letters I sent you?’ It really shouldn’t have been a surprise seeing all the letters and little gifts you had sent her while you were away on your year long trip. Though you were sure maybe some would’ve gotten lost or accidentally thrown away but you recognised every single one was there, ‘Wow you must really love me,’ Your comment was slightly teasing, though you knew Leah only loved and saw you as her best friend.

‘Yep…’ Leah breathed out quietly, though it was loud enough that you managed to catch it and the way she had said it along with the longing look in her eyes. You always did know how to read her.

‘What?’ You questioned, hoping that she would say the words you had always wished to hear from her. Hoping she meant it in the way that you wanted her to mean it.

‘Look,’ Leah moved the box sitting down next to you on the bed, fidgeting with her fingers. You shakily placed your hand on top of hers, holding them and trying to reassure her to continue on. Leah instantly laced your fingers together, looking at them while taking a moment to contemplate her next words to you. Hoping you felt the same way and that she wasn’t about to ruin the friendship the two of you had, ‘babe, when you were gone for the entire year it killed me not being able to see you. The time apart made me realise how much you mean to me. It’s why I suggested these weekly nights, just the two of us. It wasn’t about a night away from work, it was more about spending uninterrupted time with you,’ Leah paused, playing with your fingers, trying not to let her fear take over her and take back everything she’s already said.

‘Leah, what are you saying?’ You had a good idea where she was going. You kept pushing, wanting to actually hear Leah say the words to you.

Leah lifted her gaze from where your hands held each other, catching your eyes softly, ‘I love you. More than I could ever express to you. I want to turn our weekly friend nights into date nights,’

Your smile widened at Leah’s confession, heart racing you gave her hands a small squeeze of affection, ‘I love you too Le. So much. I didn’t think you felt the same, it’s the reason I left for so long because it was too painful to think or see you with someone that wasn’t me,’ You looked down feeling stupid for how you handled your feelings and worried Leah would be upset with you.

Leah softly pulled her hands from yours, gently taking your head in her hands so you were now looking at her. Rubbing her thumb along your cheek she smiled at you before leaning in, capturing your lips between hers. You relaxed into Leah’s touch, both of you smiling against each other's lips before pulling away. Leaning her forehead against yours she whispered out, ‘You’ll never have to worry about that. For as long as you’ll have me, I am completely yours,’

#leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson x you #leah williamson fluff #awfc #awfc imagine #woso community #woso #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso one shot #500 club

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buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger · 10 months ago

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Comfort

Bucky x GN!Reader

Description: three instances of Bucky associating someone stroking his hair with comfort.

Warnings: fluff and angst, mentions of illness, period-accurate toxic masculinity, mentions of nightmares, no y/n used, only pronoun used is "you"

A/N: this is based on something I wrote for my self indulgent self-insert OC Juniper, where Bucky tells them the story of the first two memories and then decided I wanted to also do an x Reader with a similar idea.

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1930

One time, when Bucky was young, he was hit with an awful bout of illness. He felt like there was a hundred pound weight on his chest, and he couldn’t stop coughing. Steve kept trying to sneak in to go see his friend, but would be shooed away before he could actually see his friend. Rebecca, Bucky’s little sister, would slip notes from her and Steve under his door as often as she could, trying to remind him he wasn’t alone. One night, when his sickness got real bad, his mother came in to sit up with him. Since it was the Depression, she would be up pretty much every night working on sewing alterations until her fingers cramped and bled. But tonight, she was staying with her Baby Boy. She rubs Vick’s on his chest in hopes of soothing the cough, and sits by his bedside. When Bucky’s coughing gets so bad that he can’t fall asleep, she sits on the mattress next to him, running their fingers through his hair until he falls asleep. She saw how much it soothed him, and from then on whenever he was sick she would stay with him, running her fingers through her son’s hair to calm him.

1942

Bucky was an adult now, dressed in a soldier’s uniform and trying to pretend he was proud of that. He’d just gotten home from the Stark Expo, and found that his mother and sister had stayed up to wait for him. Rebecca hugs her brother goodbye before heading to bed, but Bucky and Winnefred stay up late talking. During the conversation everything hits him at once. He’d spent the entire day forcing a smile and pretending to be brave, being strong in front of his date, of Steve, of anyone who saw him and saw a young man ready to take on the world and fight for his country.

When in reality?

He’s been terrified ever since he learned he was drafted.

He broke down in front of his mother, telling her that he’s not ready, that he’s scared, and that he hates that he’s scared. That he’s a coward. But his mother shakes her head, and hugs her son tight. She doesn’t tell him to “man up” or that he needs to “get ahold of himself”, just held him and assured him that it’s okay, that he’s not a coward, that he’s not weak for being afraid. She took him back to his bedroom, getting him settled under the covers and sitting at his bedside, stroking his hair the same way she did when he was young.

“Rest now, James,” she whispered, brushing his hair out of his eyes, “you don’t have to be strong tonight…”

Now

Bucky woke up screaming, drenched in sweat. He tried to take deep breaths, to calm himself down, but the nightmares that had forced him awake still ravaged his subconscious.

“Bucky?” He whipped around to see you, eyes tired but still filled with concern, “are you alright, Baby?”

“Yeah,” he gasped out, running a hand through his hair, “yeah, yeah, I'm…I-I’m…”

“Oh,” you cooed, wrapping your arms around him and laying your head on his back, “oh Sweetheart…”

You hugged him close, and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

“Can you feel my breath?” You asked, running your fingers along his stomach. Bucky nodded, “good, Buck. Can you follow my breathing?”

He matched your breaths as best he can, and you held him until he calmed down. Once his breathing evened out, you pressed another kiss to the crook of his neck and smiled softly.

“What do you need to feel better, Sweet Boy?” You asked, “what do you need to go back to sleep?”

Bucky chewed his lip for a moment, trying to decide. His mind drifted to his youth, to his mother carding her fingers through his hair and the feeling of serenity it brought him.

“M-my hair,” he murmured. You looked confused, “will you stroke my hair for a bit?”

He didn't give you a chance to respond.

“Sorry,” Bucky's blue eyes wouldn't meet theirs, “that sounds stupid, but my Ma used to do it when I was younger but–”

“Shhhh,” you slid in front of him, “it's not stupid. Of course I'll stroke your hair.”

His blue eyes met yours, relief flooding his gaze.

“Lay back down, Sweetheart,” he settled himself on top of you, laying his head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat. You cradled his head against your body, running your fingers through his dark hair. His eyes were already starting to feel heavy, and he nuzzled into your neck, a little hum escaping him.

“Get some rest, Bucky,” you pressed a kiss to the top of his head as he started to give in to sleep, “I love you.”

The same feeling of serenity overtook him, and Bucky drifted off in his partner's arms.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #bucky fanfic #mcu bucky barnes

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hacash · 7 months ago

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woke up. checked the bbc. laughed a whole bunch. going back to bed now, still laughing.

#uk politics #it’s not often i’m proud of my country

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romanovthinkver · 10 months ago

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pov: you’re scarlett johansson’s wife // sfw headcanons

scarlett knows you’re in love with New York and despite having drivers that can easily bring you to one side to another of the city, she knows you prefer taking the subway. you’re favourite is the Q train where you can see the best landscapes as it’s an open train space. your wife always makes sure to pick up a spot by the door, she always says “i want to see that beautiful smile on your face the whole ride” and as you watch the train going from Manhattan to Brooklyn, scarlett wraps an arm around your waist and looks up at you with pure love.

scarlett loves how you adore your county despite its bad sides. you’re here for work so you don’t go back home as much as you would want. the last time was at christmas two years ago with all the family. little pieces of your culture are spread in the house tho, through the food, the flag you hung in your home office, some products you buy at the authentic drug stores owned by people of your home-country. you also started to teach the kids your childhood traditions, your favourite meals, your native language even. sometimes you go out in typical restaurants, or the one that claims to be typical when they’re not, and your wife has to listen you ramble about how they couldn’t make a simple dish of your land and instead ruined it. “can you believe baby? they ruined it, look at this: chicken. why? there’s no chicken in the original recipe and yet i see chicken here, why you americans put chicken everywhere?” scarlett would laugh and sometimes record your little grumbles. the kids loves when you, their mama, cook home land dishes of a culture they’re starting to feel like theirs. your wife loves when your accent rolls off your tongue when you’re tired or pissed, sometimes even when you two fuck roughly; it send her over the edge in no time. however the thing she likes the most is when you speak in your native language giving her or the kids pet names or when you whisper “i love you.”

you’re the biggest supporter ever. the way your eyes shine when you stand beside scarlett at movies premiers, it’s unmatched. you always buzz around your wife when she’s being prepared by make-up and hair-stylists taking extra time to snap some phots of her proudly. you make sure her dress is always perfect and adjust it often during the carpet. you make sure scarlett is always hydrated, not only with alcohol but with water too!, and fed because these things are stressful and your lady has to be healthy. you step back when she poses for paparazzi photos even tho she insists to have you beside her, she would softly place her hand on your chest clothed by the black jacket and shares smiles and little whispers. “you’re so beautiful, baby” or “i can’t take my eyes off you” these are the words that you find to whisper to her in that moments when your eyes are glued to her form, your hand gently cradles her back. you in the end step back giving your wife the deserved moment in the shiny flashes of the photographer’s bulbs, she poses and you look at her, sometimes you would snap a few picture too of her beside the paparazzi. scarlett would peck your lips amidst the event, they reassure you like a warm blanket and she softly pass her slender fingers to wipe her lipstick off your lips. you watch the movie with rapt attention because despite everything, before meeting her, you were and are a fan of her movies. in the end you always hug her and pepper her lips and cheeks whispering “congratulations my love, you were brilliant!”, “i can feel the oscar baby, can i start your campaign now?”, “i’m so incredibly proud of you, you’re a movie star” or “look at that baby, they’re all clapping and cheering for you, you’re so inspiring.” at the after party you both dance, engage in conversation with people and sometimes only seat at the bar together. you make sure to drink only safe drinks and let your wife party as she deserve. you take care of her and by the end of the night she’s not much sober but you steady her holding by her waist, your suit jacket always ready to shield the woman from the cold gently rest on her shoulders and her heels accomodate your feet while she wears you’re much more comfortable shoes.

scarlett started a skin care brand line with her friend and co-founder, kate foster. you, despite not knowing a thing about skin care, started to be supportive since the first day. however you didn’t know your wife would make you be a tester. you forgot how many times you ran around the house to dodge her “c’mon baby let’s try this eye cream, i swear it will be good for your eyes!” or the times she would let you sit on the bathroom sink with a blue argyle mask on your face, a hand band with the brand logo that would definitely make your curls frizzy and messy. you would groan and grumble a lot but your wife is always quick to kiss you. in the end you fell into a routine of doing this pampering ritual every night. slowly you started to learn a lot about skin care and your wife’s work. you also would crash often at her office to just bring donuts and coffee or sneak to spend more time with your wife and the team. and much to your dismay, scarlett will never stop treating you like a tester, she’s already planning on dragging you at the offie to record some funny videos of her putting on your face brand new face creams.

talking about videos, you hate cameras and photos. oh you’re the opposite of your wife in this department. you’re a diplomat, an ambassador specifically, so you barely stand in front of cameras and address speeches, a safe way to do what you love without struggling with the media press. however since you got into a relationship with your wife and got married, you quickly became a target to paparazzi’s cameras. you awkwardly stand beside your wife when you’re taking photos at the event she has to attend, but scarlett is always there to calm you down with soft touches, whispers and little pecks. “it’s okay baby, focus on me, everything’s is alright”. when they catch you in the street you go protective over the kids and wife putting your discomfort aside. “little one it’s okay, look at mama, everything is okay. scarlett, baby, come closer to me. it’s okay”. when you’re alone, you just hide behind a hoodie hood. you rarely talk to the microphones and usually only offer politely smile and shield your anxious eyes.

scarlett never saw you crying in the years you’ve been together and probably she thought she would never. this until your wedding day arrived. oh, boy! the moment you saw her walking down the aisle you started crying for her endlessly beauty and the overwhelming love you have for her. after that you cried again, much harder, when your little girl was born. scarlett loves teasing you a lot about it. you blush rolling your eyes playfully and dismissing her with a groan.

you rarely fight but when you do, and it’s always for silly things, it doesn’t take much to crack the hard shell. one of you crawl in the arms of the other not much more than 1 hour later. you’re an ambassador so your job is to make peace, after toxic experiences in your past relationship, your communication level is high and you’re lucky enough to have found scarlett that is on the same page as yours. scarlett would hold you close and kiss the crown of your head. “i’m so sorry my love, i promise to work better on these things.” you would kiss her knuckles and whisper “i’m sorry too, baby, we’ll work on them together.”

at the end of the day it’s just you and your wife. you softly sway in the gold sunrise painting your skins. scarlett arms wrapped around your neck cradling the glass of wine between her hands while she leans to ghost your lips. your hand on her hip, the other hold your glass of wine close to the chest. you both hum the song that is putted on the background while behind you food cooks on the stove and mixes with the noises of the city. it’s peaceful, it’s a paradise, it’s you and the love of your life in a life that isn’t perfect, but has a glimpse of perfection shared together.

a/n: pt.2? nsfw part?

#lesbian #marvel #mcu #natasha romanoff #romanoffthereal #natasha romanov #the outset #wlw #headcanon #headcannons #scarlett johansson x colin jost #scarlett johansson x you #scarlett johansson x reader #scarlett johansson imagine #scarlett johansson smut #scarlett johansson #scarlett johansson x fem reader #natasha romanoff x fem reader #woman x woman

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chukys-mouthguard · 6 months ago

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why not both

5.4K words

genre: smut

warnings: minors DNI, 18+ content; threesome, dirty talk

featuring: jamie drysdale x female reader x cam york

summary: when two men are fighting over who gets to sleep with you, why not choose both?

note: the reader and Cam often call Jamie “jim” or “jimmy” in this as a nickname. Also, this is my first ever attempt at writing a threesome, these 2 men just really needed to be written together in my opinion 🥵 I’m not super proud of this but hopefully y’all like it 🫶🏼

Giving yourself a once over pulling at the hem of your skirt, you questioned if it was too short. Knowing the boys you were hanging around they’d surely love if it was, so you opted to ask Jamie, the least likely to undress you with his eyes and give you his honest opinion.

“Jamieee!”

Soon enough the jet black haired boy appeared in the doorway of your bathroom, his outfit making you chuckle.

“I swear to god you and Cam really said what’s the most generic outfit to wear for a country music festival…anyways, thoughts?”

Hands on your hips you did a spin, giving him the opportunity to take in your outfit. A black mini skirt and black cowboy boots, paired with a white tank top that read j’adore cowboys and a black cowboy hat to top it off. Jamie’s jaw slightly parted as he looked you up and down.

“I feel like I reallyyy dropped the ball now seeing you.”

He flashed you a shy smile as you took his words as a sign that you looked good. Tipping your cowboy hat to him as you walked past, stealing his High Noon in the process as you tossed back the remnants that were in the can.

“Thanks Jimmy!”

The sounds of Morgan Wallen blasting from the kitchen of the airbnb as you walked in to find Cam pouring shots for you all.

“Where the hell is everyone?”

Noticing the house was empty you checked the time, assuming you were running late as you usually did. However today you managed to be almost 30 minutes early, a new record for you.

“They are on their way and-holy shit, someone is trying to get all the cowboys hot and bothered today huh?”

Cam flashed you a cocky smirk as he handed you a shot, leaning against the counter while he took in your outfit. Playing with the silver sparkly chain that laid over the skin of your exposed stomach.

“Don’t you know that necklaces are meant for your neck?”

Cam leaning in towards you, grinning from ear to ear before you’d mirrored him, your faces inches from one another.

“Don’t you know that I don’t give a fuck?”

Raising your eyebrows you tossed back your shot, giving him a wink before Jamie joined the two of you asking for his own.

The dynamic between the two boys was one you’d never fully understood, but it made sense. Cam was outspoken, a cocky fuck to put it plainly, who would tell you exactly what he wanted to say, whether it was something you wanted to hear or not. The energy between the two of you was always one of trying to one up each other, your competitive sides always on display. But Jamie, he was the total opposite. Soft spoken, mindful of anything and everything that came out of his mouth. He was the one you went to for advice, the late night talks where you’re up until 3am eventually forgetting the point of the conversation.

Though bringing the two of them together always guaranteed a good time. Hot guys, alcohol, and a music festival, a girl was living the dream.

Once the rest of your group had arrived, it was time to head out. The girls of course needing to take tons of pictures before leaving, making the boys roll their eyes but giving them the opportunity to toss back a few more shots.

“Why’d she call you to her room earlier Jim?”

Cam shot Jamie a playful smirk as the boys trailed behind the girls on the long path to the entrance gates, to which he shook his head with a laugh.

“No way dude, don’t even go there. She asked me what I thought of her outfit.”

Rolling his eyes Cam threw an arm over Jamie’s shoulder. His voice now just above a whisper as he didn’t want the group to overhear.

“You’re telling me that outfit she has on isn’t driving you crazy? Cause shit, she is driving me crazy right now in that mini skirt.”

“Keep it in your pants dude!”

Jamie shoved Cam from his side with a laugh, trying to ignore his friend's comments. Cam just putting his hands up with a shrug. “Listen Jim, if you won’t finally make a move, I just might.”

Jamie had hid his feelings for you since the day you’d met. He had never seen a girl so beautiful, but he wasn’t the type to be forward and blunt about how he felt. Unlike Cam who made it known that he thought you were hot and would do anything for a chance with you. Jamie had told Cam in confidence one night how he felt, at the time not knowing that Cam felt the same way. And since then it had been their secret, one that almost brought out the competitiveness between them whenever the three of you got together.

Several hours into the festival, having been spent in the direct sunlight, it was safe to say you were in need of water and food. Thanking yourself for picking an outfit that didn’t have much fabric so you were somewhat cooler than those who had multiple layers. The boys benefited from the fact that they could simply take their shirts off, while you could only put your hair up in hopes of it cooling you down.

“If I don’t get french fries in my mouth in the next five minutes, I might actually die.”

You groaned as you sat on the grass, fanning yourself with you hat as your friend group followed suit. All of you trying to rest before you headed off to the next artist’s stage.

“Someone ask for some french fries?”

Jamie smiled as he sat down next to you, handing you a basket of fries, seeing the look on your face as you practically scarfed them down in seconds.

“I could kiss you right now Jamie oh my god!”

The phrase making his eyes go wide, despite knowing that there was likely no intention behind it. Though he couldn’t help but think back to Cam’s words from earlier. Hoping that maybe today, in a moment of drunken false confidence, he’d work up the courage to finally make a move.

“Oh my god!”

Jamie was shook from his thoughts as he looked at you, concerned that something was wrong.

“What!?”

“You even remembered I love ranch with my fries? God I love you Jamie!”

He softly smiled as he was happy to know he’d made your day remembering such a minor detail about you. The two of you sitting in silence as you refueled yourselves before heading off to the next spot.

“I really do like your outfit today by the way. Sorry I got a little tongue tied when you asked me this morning.”

You watched Jamie slightly blush as he spoke, his eyes not connecting with yours as he seemed almost nervous about his words. A smile on your face as you continue munching on your fries.

“Tongue tied? Because of?”

“How hot you looked, obviously.”

The words catching you off guard coming from Jamie, sure he’d complimented you before but never so bluntly. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or maybe the heat was getting to him. But it was a side of him you liked. Having spent so much time with Cam you thought for sure he would’ve gained some of Cam’s confidence, his boldness. But he’d remained the kind and gentlemanly man he’d been since the day you met, which you appreciated in contrast to Cam. Though sometimes you wanted to see that cockier side of Jamie, and see him be more outspoken. Not let Cam run the show or call the shots so much.

“You think I look hot?”

“Oh absolutely, you alwa-“

“Don’t mind if it do!”

Cam interrupted Jamie’s words as he pushed between the two of you, stealing a few fries from your basket before he tipped his hat to you and blew you a kiss.

“Thank you little lady.”

You rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head before you looked back at Jamie who was awkwardly laughing off the situation. Almost thankful Cam interrupted so he didn’t end up saying what he planned.

You tucked some hair behind your ear as he offered to help you stand up, taking your empty fry basket and tossing it in the trash as your group was ready to start walking again.

“Jamie, you were saying something? Before we were rudely interrupted!”

Making the gesture as if you were going to kick Cam in the butt as you empathized your words, causing Jamie to laugh.

“Just that, you always look hot to me.”

He flashed you a wink before one of the guys had called him away for something, lucky for you as a blush was quickly creeping over your cheeks. Hopefully disguised as you just being flush from the heat so no one would think much of it.

As your group made your way to the final stage of the night, you all had grown eager for the final performer. It was the main reason you’d come to the festival, and you all were ready to sing until your voices gave out.

Onlookers probably thought your group was annoying, the way you all belted out the lyrics, dancing around with one another. But none of you cared, enjoying every second of the night you all had been looking forward to all summer.

As you danced around, you noticed Jamie standing and talking with Trevor, drinks in hand like two awkward freshman at their first college party. Making your way over to them, you grabbed Jamie’s hand, attempting to bring him out of his shell a bit.

“Jamie don’t make me dance alone, come onnn!”

He smiled down at you as you took his hands in yours, laughing as you belted out the words along with the crowd. But despite being as drunk as he was, he wasn’t giving you much to work with. Simply rocking back and forth as he watched you. A smile on his face as he’d wondered if this was his chance, to make his move like Cam had teased him about.

But as the song came to an end, you’d let go of his hands and clapped along with the crowd. Looking on in anticipation as you all tried to predict the next song, Jamie immediately missing the feel of your hands in his as he rejoined Trevor at the back of the group.

The second the slower strums of the guitar started, you threw your hands to your hat in shock, searching the area for Cam as you knew his reaction would be similar. This song had been your favorite from the album, and you’d each had it on repeat for weeks leading up to tonight.

He’d found you from across the group, the two of you immediately belting out the words as he wrapped his arms around you, swaying you to the music before he’d switched to slow dancing.

Jamie watched as you threw your head back laughing, the way Cam’s hands were resting at your waist, beating himself up for being too concerned about what people thought to dance with you how you’d wanted. He couldn’t blame Cam for the way he acted around you, Cam wasn’t afraid to show you how he felt towards you. And you seemed to appreciate the boldness of him. And while Jamie felt he expressed his feelings in other ways, he was starting to think that it wasn’t good enough.

After several hours in the sun and far too much alcohol, you all were ready to head home. The house was only a short walk once outside the fairgrounds, but your feet were killing you in your boots and you were sure they would be covered in blisters. Every step hurt worse than the last, and you were ready to take your boots off and leave them behind.

“Ouch, fuck.”

Jamie noticed you wincing as you walked, and in true Jamie fashion he’d thought up an idea. Stopping you in your tracks, he’d positioned himself in front of you, slightly bending down before instructing you to jump.

Normally you’d question him whether or not he was sober enough to carry you, but with the alcohol flowing through your system and the pain in your feet, you gladly accepted. Wrapping your arms around his neck, his arms around your thighs, the two of you were the closest you’d ever been. Your cheek practically touching his as he carried you with ease down the trail.

His eyes occasionally catching yours before you’d look away embarrassed. Luckily the amount of alcohol in your system and a slight sunburn was hiding any blush that had appeared on your cheeks.

“You good?”

Jamie smirked at you as his eyes traveled from yours to your lips, then back. Something in them was different, and you felt almost nervous to be so close to him. Taking the time to appreciate how good he smelled, the way his face lit up when he looked at you. Sure you’d always thought Jamie was attractive, but you’d never thought about him in that way. But feeling his biceps flex as he carried you with ease, his hands gripping your thighs just beneath your ass, you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol getting you warm or something else.

“Giddy up cowboy!”

The sting of Cam slapping your ass quickly pulled you out of the moment with Jamie as you playfully yelped. A hand leaving Jamie’s neck to grab at your ass, rubbing the sore spot before you cursed Cam.

“Don’t have it on display if you don’t want me touching it, little lady.”

He playfully tipped his hat at you, flashing a wink before he ran to catch up with some of the guys.

“He’s such a perv.”

You laughed as your arm returned to wrap around Jamie’s neck. Noticing how Jamie’s expression had turned a bit annoyed, not used to seeing him that way.

“Jamie, what’s wrong?”

He shook his head, trying to laugh it off and pretend like it was nothing. Embarrassed that he was even getting jealous over Cam’s interactions with you.

“Nothing, it’s, it’s nothing.”

You glared at him as he kept his eyes forward, knowing him all too well to believe that it was simply nothing. He could feel your eyes practically burning a hole in his cheek, finally letting out a sigh as he gave in.

“I mean, it’s not like it’s anything you don’t already know. It’s silly that I’m even bothered by Cam wanting to fuck you so bad.”

You practically choked on your own saliva hearing the words pour from Jamie’s mouth. Sure you knew that Cam flirted with you, hell he flirted with every girl that crossed his path. But either you don’t know him well enough, or you’re just oblivious to him wanting to sleep with you.

“Um, actually I didn’t know that…but why does that bother you?”

Jamie knew he could risk jeopardizing his friendship with you, but Cam was right. He needed to finally man up and make a move or he’d never have the chance.

“Because I obviously like you too. You can’t tell me you’ve never noticed it? I mean I don’t run around slapping your ass and drooling over you in front of your face. But, Cam and I feel the same way. We have for, well forever.”

“So you want to fuck me too?”

Jamie bit his tongue, unsure if he should open up a can of worms with his response. He knew the second he’d admitted how he felt, there was no turning back.

“You fucking told her?”

Cam’s voice was barely above a whisper as he scolded Jamie, shocked to know he’d finally grew a pair and told you how he felt. But not without dragging Cam into the mix along with him.

“Well, you told me to make a move, but then you were busy making a move and I got jealous and she noticed and it just slipped out!”

The two of them whisper bickering back and forth, trying not to make too much noise for you to overhear as you’d gone to take your hat and boots up to your room.

“It slipped out for you to tell our best friend that we both want to fuck her? Jimmy I swear to god I could kill you!”

Walking into the kitchen you couldn’t help but notice the two boys awkwardly stopping their conversation. Both of them smiling at you as if to cover up something.

“Um, hi?”

“Hey, how uh, are your feet feeling?”

Jamie tried his best to break up the awkwardness, Cam slightly laughing at his choice of a convention starter as he walked over to the island to crack open a drink.

“What is going on with you two?”

Leaning on the counter as you snacked on some chips, holding a hand out for Cam to pass you his drink so you could steal a sip. His eyes darting from Jamie to you as he handed it over, a smirk on his lips as he chuckled.

“Look, I know Jamie let the cat out of the bag. So, we just want to know, who would you pick?”

Leaning against the counter as he took his drink back from you, Cam couldn’t help but smile. Crossing his arms over his chest as he awaited your response. Jamie’s eyes wide as he had no part in the questioning, easily you knew this was Cam’s idea.

“I’m sorry?”

Playing dumb you countered the question as you walked over to Cam, jumping up to sit on the counter as he shook his head. He could see right through you, knowing that you knew exactly where he was going with this conversation. But you figured you’d have a little fun with the two of them, make things more interesting.

Cam looked to Jamie, seeing that he wasn’t going to be the one to push the conversation forward, per usual he’d have to be the one to take the lead.

“I said, which one of us would you pick to fuck you?”

Cam’s hands were now on either side of your thighs, his lips inches from yours as he studied your response, seeing how you’d slightly tensed up as he got closer. Your breath hitching in your throat at his forwardness.

“I have to pick?”

A playful tone in your voice as you raised an eyebrow at him, watching as he leaned back against the counter behind him to join Jamie. The two boys in front of you impatiently waiting for a response. Cam assuredly thinking the answer would be him simply on account of his boldness. While Jamie was hoping it was him to knock Cam off his high horse, wanting this competition between the two of them to finally be over with.

“Can I pick both?”

Both of their eyes going wide at your response as they were sure you were joking, earning a slight laugh from you. The idea certainly not one you’d had prior to this very moment, but who could blame you?

Cam had always struck you as the type of guy you’d normally go for. Outspoken, a little bit of an asshole, knows he’s hot and will be sure to remind you of it. But could back it up with his body and his ability to make you blush with every flirtatious comment that came off his lips.

Jamie on the other hand, was more reserved and lacked the surplus of confidence Cam possessed. He’d compliment you, but never too boldly. Always a gentleman and respectful, though you often wondered what he might be hiding should you ever get past his shy demeanor. Like Cam, his body was one you’d occasionally get caught staring at, the both of them strict about their gym routines and it showed.

Still in their cutoff flannels from the festival your eyes landed on their biceps, then traveling to their chests that were peeking out due to one too many buttons being undone. Which you definitely appreciated, having to squeeze your thighs together to help with the building pressure you’d started to feel as you thought about the idea of the two of them finally getting their hands on you after wanting the opportunity for so long.

Cam took notice of you pressing your thighs together, a smirk on his lips as he looked at Jamie, who was clearly hot and bothered himself over the idea as he awkwardly adjusted his stance as if to hide a growing problem in his shorts.

“Well, what do you say Jimmy, should we give the little lady what she wants?”

He waited for a moment, to get some type of response from Jamie, but he clearly was unsure of the idea. Like a deer in headlights as he watched Cam close the distance between the two of you. His lips immediately on yours, sloppy as he’d clearly been aching to have this moment. As predicted, Cam fought you for dominance. His tongue pushing past your lips as his hands gripped your face, a slight moan escaping you as you gripped his ginger curls.

Cam playfully bit your lip before his trailing kisses down to your neck. First sucking, then biting, and finally trailing his tongue over the red marks to soothe the skin.

“Fuck Cam”

He smirked against your skin hearing his name pour from your lips, urging him to continue. As your eyes slowly fluttered open, you found Jamie trying to ease the discomfort in his shorts. Embarrassed when he locked eyes with you, unsure of what to do. Sensing his hesitation to jump in, clearly by Cam taking charge of the situation, you reached a hand out to him. Pulling him towards you by his shirt as his hands softly rested on your thighs.

“Oh come on Jamie, you said you wanted to fuck me right?”

Your tone playful as you teased him, pulling him by the chin to your lips. Fingers tangled in his black locks as his hand moved to your waist, lightly digging into your skin as he finally seemed to relax.

“Atta boy Jimmy, don’t be shy. She wants it just as bad as you do.”

The kiss intensified as Jamie became more comfortable, a hand slowly pushing past your tank top to find your lace covered breasts. His hand immediately bypassing the fabric, earning a moan of approval from you as you broke the kiss, gazing up at both boys with lust filled eyes. The two of them unsure what to do next as they’d not planned for a moment like this.

“How about we go somewhere that gives us a little more space to work with?”

Biting your lip you nodded in agreement, Cam pulling you in for one last kiss before he led the way upstairs. Jamie offering to help you from the counter, to which you accepted. But not without trying to ease his nerves in the process.

Wrapping your arms around his neck you pulled him in for a kiss, his hands gripping at your waist as your legs circled his, inviting him to lift you off the counter.

Jamie carried you upstairs, the two of you stealing more kisses from one another before he laid you on the bed. Cam tossing his shirt to the side, then discarding his shorts before he’d begun trailing kisses up your thighs.

Jamie following suit before joining you on the bed, his lips finding yours again as his hands pulled your tank top over your head, eyes immediately getting ahead of his actions and undressing you further. Your hand dropping to his cock that was pressing against your side through his briefs. Jamie moaning into the kiss as you palmed him over the fabric.

Cam noticed your focus on Jamie, lightly biting at your inner thigh to gain your attention.

“Ow fuck, Cam!”

“Sorry, you were giving him all the attention. I want to know I’m making you feel good too baby.”

His hands hooked into the waistband of your skirt, pulling it down with your thong in one motion. Instinctually you closed your legs, nervous for the boys to see you so vulnerable, but Cam immediately gripped your thighs, pulling them apart as he positioned himself at your core.

“Come on baby, you can’t be shy now. You chose both remember?”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt Cam’s tongue trace up your slit, your free hand falling to his hair as you gripped his curls. The other hand pushing past the waistband of Jamie’s briefs, stroking him slowly as his lips fell to your neck. Breath heavy as he moaned against your skin.

“Fuck.”

His moans were needy, telling you’d need more than just your hand.

“Take these off, let me give you more than just a hand.”

Lifting his hips, Jamie pulled down his briefs. His cock slapped against his stomach as your jaw had slightly dropped at the sight. His size definitely not what you’d expected but you weren’t complaining.

“Mmm, you gonna suck his cock while I eat your pussy baby?”

Without warning Cam slips a finger between your folds to accompany the work of his tongue. Your hips arching off the bed into his touch as Jamie pulled you towards the edge of the bed, tilting your jaw to face him as he stroked his cock. Eyes falling to yours for the go ahead before slowly thrusting into your mouth.

“Holy…fuck.”

His hands falling to your hair, guiding you down as far as you’d let him. Gagging as you deepthroated him, Jamie’s breathing harsh as his head fell back at the feeling.

“Mm, she being a good girl for you Jim?”

“So fucking good.”

Jamie’s eyes met yours as he watched you take all of him in your mouth, his grip tightening in your hair as he fought the urge to fuck your face. Wanting to go easy on you and not rush anything.

Cam dipped a second finger into you without warning, picking up his pace as your hips bucked against him. His free hand moving to hold your hips in place. Wanting to help you ride out your orgasm.

“Fuck, oh my god Cam I’m gonna cum.”

“Don’t stop fucking her face Jim, make her take it.”

Jamie grabbed your hair, finally giving in to his urges. Thrusting into you as his cock hit your throat, eyes watering as you felt your climax closing in. Cam’s tongue and fingers in unison as your clenched around them, hips lifting off the bed as you came. Your moans muffled as your mouth was preoccupied with Jamie’s cock.

“Mm, she tastes so fucking good Jim. Come try for yourself.”

Jamie pulled his cock from your lips, taking Cam’s place between your legs. His eyes flashing up to you for approval before you gripped his hair and urged him to taste you.

Cam positioning himself behind you as his hands gripped your breasts, kneading the skin before focusing on your nipples as he watched Jamie along with you.

Jamie’s tongue slowly traced your slit, stopping to pay attention to your clit, the sensation causing you to buck against his face as you were still coming down from your high. Cam’s lips falling to your neck, kissing and biting at the skin before he brought your lips to his.

Hearing you moan into his mouth let him know Jamie was doing a good job. He watched as your hands gripped his hair tight, grinding your hips to match the rhythm of his tongue and fingers.

“You want him to fuck you now? I think you can handle it baby.”

Biting your lip you nodded your head, fingers releasing their grip in Jamie’s hair, though he continued. Enjoying the taste of you as he’d felt you tighten your grip on his fingers, letting him know you were close.

“Tell him what you want, use your words.”

“Please Jamie, fuck me. I need you.”

The words pouring from your lips like magic to his ears, his cock twitching at the sound of you begging for him. Pulling his fingers from you, immediately earning a whine as you already missed the contact. Cam’s fingers soon taking over as Jamie lined himself with your entrance.

He stroked himself a few times before thrusting into you, the feeling of Jamie’s cock stretching you while Cam’s fingers circled your clit had you seeing black.

“How does she feel Jim?”

“So fucking tight, fuck!”

Jamie’s hands gripped your hips as he couldn’t bother going slow, his thrusts hard and quick as he’d already been close since you’d had him in your mouth.

“Does he feel good baby? Stretching you out while I rub your clit?”

Cam’s cocky smirk was working overtime. You always assumed he was a freak, but you swore he was made for sex. The way dirty talk rolled off his lips and had you dripping wet at the sound, you were wondering how you’d gone so long without this.

“Mhm, feels so fucking good. I, I’m so close. Please don’t fucking stop.”

But instead he pulled himself from you, a gasp catching in your throat as you’d had your climax halted from the immediate loss.

You looked at Jamie as he climbed onto the bed, laying down next to you as he stroked himself.

“It’s only fair Cam gets a chance to feel how tight you are too baby.”

The sound of Jamie calling you baby had you melting, rolling over onto your knees as Cam gladly took advantage of the opportunity to fuck you from behind. His grip tight on your hip as he teased your slit with his cock, loving how wet you were.

“Ready baby?”

Ready as you’d ever be.

You’d taken Jamie’s cock back into your mouth as his hands tangled into your hair, forcing you down his length as Cam finally thrusts into you. Your moans muffled as you deepthroated Jamie, Cam’s fingers leaving bruises on your skin as he held you while his thrusts showed no signs of ceasing.

“Fuck, pussy is so tight baby. Jimmy didn’t stretch you out too much huh?”

“Fuck you Cam!”

You watched as Jamie spat back at Cam before his eyes reconnected with yours as your hand began working in unison with your mouth. His hips bucking against you as he grew close to his climax.

“Shit…I’m gonna cum baby. Keep sucking his cock, make sure he cums for you.”

“Mmm, shit. I’m gonna cum.”

Both boys moans turning you on, the low groans and grunts that spilt from their lips as they both were nearing their peaks. Watching as Jamie’s abs twitched while his breaths were short and choppy.

“Yes, fuck, ah”

The boys groaned out almost in unison. Jamie’s head fell back against the pillow as he came, your mouth still on his length as you felt the warmth of his seed hit the back of your throat. Making sure to swallow it all while you felt Cam pull his length from you as he came on your ass.

The three of you sweaty and exhausted as you tried to catch your breath. Cam heading to the restroom to grab a towel, while Jamie found you a tshirt and himself some shorts.

As the three of you got cleaned up, you nestled between the two of them under the blankets. Your head on Jamie’s chest with your legs were tangled with Cam’s, his fingers tracing circles on your thigh.

“So, you think you’ll be more likely to come visit us in Philly next season?”

Cam raised an eyebrow at you while Jamie just laughed, a hand running through your hair as you shrugged.

“I mean, if the visit is anything like tonight, I don’t see why not.”

The boys both smiling at your answer, pleased with themselves that they didn’t disappoint. Happy to have finally gotten the chance at something they were sure would never happen.

“I think the real question we want to know is, who was better? And it’s okay if you need to tell Cam he was better just so his feelings don’t get hurt, I understand.”

Rolling your eyes you could not believe how competitive they truly were. Although you could, considering that they made it a point to trash talk each other during sex.

“Mmm, hate to say it but I think it’s a tie. We might need to try again to solidify a winner?”

#jamie drysdale fic #Jamie Drysdale #Jamie Drysdale smut #cam york #cam York fic #cam York smut #jamie drysdale x reader #nhl imagine #nhl fics #hockey imagine #hockey fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl blurb

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hacash · 2 years ago

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AND credit to the players also acting in solidarity too. apparently everyone disagrees with this decision apart from the BBC Chairman and the Tory cabinet

shout out to gary lineker for causing an absolute meltdown in both the government and the bbc <3

#uk politics #it’s not often i’m proud of my country

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melzula · 6 months ago

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The Necklace

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

notes: apologies for how long this took me! this piece is a request and though it is part of the fire lilies series i think it can also be read as a stand alone

summary: Zuko asks Sokka for help with an important task

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

It was a busy day in the Southern Water Tribe as preparations for the upcoming Lunar Festival began. In two days your people would carry out the longstanding tradition of honoring the moon spirit for blessing the tribes with water bending, and as Chief you had much to do to ensure everything went smoothly.

Nine years have passed since the war ended, and in that time the South has completed its era of reconstruction and is now a strong and unified nation able to hold its own alongside the other countries. Resources are plentiful, commerce is high, the number of water benders in the tribe grows each year, and your people are happy.

As you had set out to do, you’d created the harbor to allow those from other nations to visit your home and learn about your culture. This not only led to a boom in your economy, but it also brought great pride to the South as you shared your culture and gifts with those curious to learn about your history. Your relationship with the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom strengthened as a result, and you were happy to see everyone getting along. The next step to maintaining progress was establishing embassies in the other nations, and construction in the Fire Nation was already underway. You’d accomplished many things so far in your time as Chief, but you know most of it wouldn’t have been possible without the help of your friends.

Hakoda and Malina had been a great help in modernizing the tribe, and once their work was done Malina found herself returning to the North after an amicable split from the advisor. On the other hand, Hakoda had recently stepped down from his position, deciding it was time to retire and allow the next generation the chance to lead the South into the future. And so that led you to where you are now, discussing the perfect layout for the festival grounds with your newly appointed advisor.

“I think the game booths would look best set up along the perimeter of the courtyard to leave room for the merchant stands in the center,” Sokka notes thoughtfully as you look over his roughly drawn map of the proposed layout. “If everything looks good to you we can begin setting up immediately to have it ready in time for the first day of the festival.”

“I think it looks great, Sokka! You know, you’re a natural at this whole advisor thing,” you compliment with a teasing nudge to his side. Having Sokka step in for his father was the obvious choice when it came time to pick a new advisor. The water tribe boy had always been a shoulder for you to lean on and a person you could go to for guidance, and you can’t even count how many times he’s kept you out of harms way. No one was more qualified for the job than him, and it filled you with joy to be running the tribe alongside one of your closest friends.

“I really am, aren’t I?” He agrees with a proud grin, prompting you to regret inflating his ego so much. “Hey, is Zuko still coming by for the festival?”

“He is! I just received a letter from him yesterday promising his arrival,” you sigh wistfully as your eyes turn towards the portrait of the Fire Lord on your desk. “We haven’t had much time to see each other lately, so I’m excited to finally spend time with him.”

“You guys are pretty good at this whole long distance thing,” he notes thoughtfully, “you make it seem so easy.”

“I think it helps that we’re both always kept so busy running our own nations, but it doesn’t make me miss him any less. Now that things have calmed down I just hope we’ll be able to sneak away and visit each other more often.”

“I’ll do everything in my power to make it happen,” Sokka vows earnestly while placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “As advisor, it’s my job to make your job easier, and that’s just what I’m going to do.”

“Thanks, Sokka,” you reply with a careful smile before returning your attention to the plans laid out before you. “Now, is there any way we can make space for a seal jerky stand?”

~~~

Zuko’s stomach was in knots.

The harbor was fast approaching as his ship began to close the distance between the sea and the shore, and in just a short amount time he’d be back in the South. With time he’d begun to feel like less of an outsider to the tribe’s people, they’d come to accept him as an ally rather than a threat after helping their Chief time and again, and so how his arrival would be perceived wasn’t on his list of worries. This trip to the Water Tribe would be different, maybe even life changing if all went according to plan, but there was no way to know for sure until he got there.

Sokka is waiting at the edge of the harbor when Zuko finally disembarks from the ship and sets foot on the wooden docks. The Fire Lord isn’t able to say anything before his friend immediately tackles his figure in a strong bear hug.

“Zuko, it’s so good to see you, buddy!” He exclaims before pulling away to get a good look at his friend. “Your hair got longer!”

“So did yours,” Zuko replies with a light chuckle before surveying his gaze along the docks.

As if reading his mind, Sokka explains, “Y/n’s teaching a healing class right now so she sent me in her place. I’ll be taking you back to the palace so you can settle in and get ready for dinner with her and her mother.”

“I see,” the fire bender notes quietly, almost relieved by the fact that you’ll be preoccupied for the next hour or so. It makes his current task much easier.

Noticing the preoccupied look on his friend’s face as the two begin to venture towards the palace, the water tribe boy places a comforting hand on Zuko’s shoulder and asks, “Everything okay? You have a weird look on your face and you don’t seem as excited as you should be to see y/n later.”

“I am excited, I just also happen to be nervous,” he corrects before letting out an anxious sigh. His features turning serious, Zuko stops in his tracks and shifts to face Sokka head on. "I have a favor to ask you, an important one, but before that I need to tell you something, and you have to keep it to yourself.”

"Of course, Zuko, anything."

“Now that there is peace among nations and things are finally falling into place, I think it’s time I propose to y/n,” the Fire Lord declares with a bashful smile and a blush spreading across his face. “I came on this trip not only to enjoy the festival but to also ask her mother for her blessing.”

Shock is written all over Sokka’s face as his mouth hangs open in surprise at his friend’s confession. However, his dumbfounded look is soon replaced with one of joy as he lifts Zuko up off the ground in a tight hug.

“I can’t believe it! My best friends are going to get married! This is great news!” He exclaims much to Zuko’s dismay. With a scowl, the fire bender worms his way out of the hug and gives the water tribe boy a pointed look.

“Keep your voice down!” He scolds while looking around frantically to make sure no one has overheard them. “I don’t want her to find out and ruin the surprise. I also don’t exactly know how our people are going to react to this marriage, so I’d like to keep it private for now.”

“Sorry, you’re right. My lips are sealed,” Sokka solemnly swears, but his giddy grin remains glued to his face. “Can I at least see the ring?”

“That’s the thing,” he says whilst awkwardly grasping the back of his neck. Almost sheepish, Zuko admits, “there is no ring. I want to do it the right way by making her a betrothal necklace, but I have no idea where to start. Can you help me?”

“You’re asking me for help?” Sokka retorts emotionally, his eyes almost immediately welling with tears. Quick to brush them away, he sniffles and rests a firm hand on the Fire Lord’s shoulder. “Buddy, I am going to help you make the greatest betrothal necklace in the history of the Southern Water Tribe.”

“Thank you, Sokka. I knew I could count on you,” he affirms with a careful smile, and though one of his tasks has been completed, Zuko knows he still has a lot of work cut out for him before this trip is over.

Spirits help him.

~~~

You let out a quiet hum as you clean up after the day’s healing class. A grunt leaves your lips as you hoist one of the practice mannequins over your shoulder and work to set it into the closet. Master Pakku retired as your co-instructor a few years back to enjoy married life with Kana, and so it was now on you to prepare, run, and organize class. You managed fairly well on your own, but it was times like these where you missed having someone to help- the mannequins did start to get heavy after a while.

You’re too busy trying to shove the last practice doll into the closet to notice someone has joined you, so you can’t help but jump in alarm when a voice asks, “Need a hand?”

You turn with a start, but your fear immediately morphs into pure joy when you see your boyfriend standing before you. He opens his arms to you with a smile and you immediately throw yourself into his embrace, hugging him so tightly that the wind is nearly knocked out of him.

“Zuko, you’re here!” You exclaim with glee before reaching up to pepper his face with kisses. “I’m so happy to see you, I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Princess,” he chuckles, his cheeks growing red as a result of your assault. “I know we were supposed to meet for dinner, but I couldn’t wait to see you. Sokka told me you’d be here.”

“I’m glad you came,” you admit with a smile before allowing Zuko to put away the last mannequin for you. With the practice room finally tidy and organized, you take Zuko’s hand and begin your trek towards the palace.

“How is festival planning going?”

“It’s going wonderfully! The crew I hired will begin set up tomorrow so that the merchants can begin preparing their stands. I’m aiming to make it our best lunar festival yet!”

“With you in charge, I’m sure it’ll be perfect,” Zuko compliments. There are guards waiting at the doors when you arrive, and after giving you both a curt nod you’re allowed passage into the palace. The familiar icy architecture greets him with a chill, but the Fire Lord gladly welcomes the feeling.

Your mother waits at the end of the hallway for you both with a smile and immediately envelopes Zuko in a hug when you reach her.

“Zuko, it’s so nice to see you again! I’m thrilled you’re joining us for dinner.”

“Thank you, Kira. It’s an honor to be your dinner guest,” he replies with a careful smile.

“I’m going to get freshened up before we eat, but you two go ahead and get seated without me,” you inform both of them before departing to your room. You turn down the hall and disappear into your bedroom, effectively leaving Zuko alone with your mother.

“Come, the dining room is this way,” your mother instructs him as she guides the boy to his seat. A wave of nerves suddenly washes over Zuko as he realizes the perfect opportunity to speak to your mother about his proposal is now before him. With you gone, it’s his only chance to have a moment alone with the woman. This conversation could make or break your relationship, and this thought weighs heavily as he seats himself across from her.

“Are you feeling alright, Zuko? You look flushed,” she points out with a concerned look. Harshly swallowing down his nerves, the fire bender decides it’s now or never.

“I’m fine, but… there is actually something I’d like to speak with you about.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” the woman assures him with a comforting smile and her undivided attention. “What is it that’s on your mind?”

“Well,” he begins, anxiously grasping at the back of his neck, “first I want to start by saying I never really apologized for taking away your only daughter all those years ago, but I’d like to do so now. It was a rash decision based upon the fear of never getting to see her again, and I thought running away together was the only option. However, I never once stopped to think about how that would affect you and your people. I was separated from my own mother once, and so I can only imagine the pain you must have felt worrying about her whereabouts and if she was happy. And truthfully, she wasn’t. But I’ve spent every day since trying to make it up to her.”

The room is silent but the air is void of any tension. Though an array of emotions wash across your mother’s face at Zuko’s confession, there is no hint of malice or resentment. Rather, her eyes are understanding and her lips hold an unwaveringly careful smile as she takes in his words and his disquieted nature.

“I won’t sugarcoat things and say that it wasn’t hard having my only child leave my home,” she notes thoughtfully much to his dismay. Sensing his apprehension, she is quick to continue on, “but I know that in the grand scheme of things it was for the best. Y/n wouldn’t be the water bender or Chief she is today if she had never left the South. I hold no grudges and I certainly don’t blame you for the choices she made.”

“I appreciate your kindness and openness,” he says with a respectful bow of his head, “it makes this next part less terrifying.”

Intrigued by his wording, your mother raises a brow and asks, “What will be less terrifying?”

Taking in a deep breath, Zuko meets your mother’s gaze with eyes full of sincerity and passion. It really is now or never.

“I came on this trip not only for the lunar festival but also with the intention of crafting a betrothal necklace for y/n. I know there is no future for me without her in it, and I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy. I don’t know for certain the implications a marriage between us has on the future of our nations, but I do know that I will do whatever I must to be with her. However, before I propose, I wanted to get your blessing. I’d like to do things the right way this time, and I want you to know my intentions.”

Kira is silent for a long time, her face full of shock but still unreadable to a tense Zuko who waits with bated breath for a response. For a moment he fears that perhaps he’s misspoke, that he is unworthy of asking such a request and has offended the matriarch, but then her shocked expression morphs into one of joy, and Zuko immediately feels the tension in his shoulders dissipate at the sight of her smile.

“I knew this day would one day come, and I can’t tell you how I thrilled I am to know you’d like to marry my daughter,” she exclaims gleefully, her eyes shiny with tears that she works hard to keep at bay. “You have proven yourself time and time again to be a good man, Zuko, and I know you will make a wonderful husband for my y/n. You absolutely have my blessing.”

“Thank you, Kira,” he exhales gratefully as he rises from his seat and meets the woman across the table with a tight hug. A tremendous weight has now been lifted off of his shoulders, and he is one step closer to marrying the love of his life. “I promise to love and honor y/n for as long as I live.”

“I have no doubt in my mind about that.”

“Wow, what did I miss?” Your curious voice interrupts as you stumble upon their embrace, a confused smile displayed across your features. Your mother gives Zuko’s side a squeeze before releasing him back to you.

“I was just expressing my gratitude to the man that has proven time and time again to be the perfect partner for my daughter,” she expresses with a jovial glint in her eyes that you aren’t quick enough to detect. Zuko is grateful you’re completely oblivious to their previous conversation, and he hopes it will continue to stay that way until he’s ready to propose.

“He’s more than perfect,” you compliment before pressing a chaste kiss to his warm cheek, making his heart melt in the way you’ve always done since you were children.

He can’t wait to spend forever with you.

~~~

The lunar festival goes off without a hitch.

The royal plaza is filled to the brim with people enjoying the food and festivities as they pay homage to their beloved moon spirit and her gifts. You’re absolutely thrilled to see your hard work in action, and Zuko is enamored by the joy that spreads itself across his face. Every smile that curls upon your lips makes him weak in the knees, and he’d love to simply sit and admire your radiance all night if he could.

But of course, Sokka had other plans.

While you’d been wrapped up in a conversation with your old friend Kai and his new fiancé, the water tribe boy took it upon himself to sneak Zuko away to the rocky shores in search of the perfect stone.

“Before you can make the necklace, you have to pick a rock that speaks to you.”

“Speaks to me?” Zuko retorts with furrowed brows. “It’s a rock.”

“It’s not just a rock, Zuko,” Sokka rebuttals defensively to an annoyed Fire Lord. “It’s a symbol of your love for y/n! If you want to do this the right way then you have to find a stone that calls to your heart the same way she does.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” he mutters sheepishly in response, his cheeks tinting red at the intimacy of it all. He knew crafting a necklace would be a great responsibility, but he didn’t expect it to be so personal.

Surveying the vast expanse of rocks at his disposal, Zuko carefully scrutinizes each and every one. He wants the stone to be perfect because you deserve to have the perfect betrothal necklace, but the thought of not being able to find the right one makes him anxious. If it’s not the right one, then what will that mean for your marriage?

Nothing his friend’s obvious apprehension, Sokka places a comforting hand on his shoulder and explains, “Don’t stress about it too much, Zuko. Just trust your gut.”

“Easy for you to say,” Zuko scoffs in irritation, “you’re not the one dealing with the pressure of making the perfect betrothal necklace.”

“No, but I am dealing with the pressure of helping you make the perfect betrothal necklace,” he counters with a prideful grin, and while usually a comment like that would provoke an irate response from Zuko, the Prince was much too enamored by a rock sticking out of the sand to craft a proper comeback.

The moonlight almost seemed to shine down upon the rock as if beckoning him to grab it. The stone was cool in his palm, smooth to the touch and almost perfectly free of any ragged edges or scrapes. It sat daintily in his hand, delicate despite its toughness, and it reminded him of you.

“This is the one,” he utters in quiet awe before looking up at the moon. Eyes gleaming, he smiles and murmurs a “thank you.”

“You’re one step closer to the perfect necklace, buddy,” Sokka congratulates with a hearty pat on the back before guiding the Fire Lord back to the village. “You just need to add the finishing touches.”

The two wind up back inside Sokka’s hut with an array of tools sprawled out amongst them. After discussing multiple options and looking through various crudely drawn sketches by Sokka, Zuko settled upon a carving that he felt best encapsulated the nature of your relationship- a carving that displayed not only your differences but also your strengths and unity.

Attaching the stone to the blue silk ribbon, the two boys sit back in silence to admire Zuko’s creation.

“You think this is the best betrothal necklace the water tribe’s ever seen?” He jokes quietly in an attempt to mask his nerves. Now that the work is done reality has begun to set in for Zuko, and he realizes now the only thing left to do is actually propose.

“The best,” Sokka replies quietly, the emotion evident in his voice despite how hard he tries to hide it. He sniffles and wipes away the tears that threaten to spill before looking to his companion with a smile. “She’s going to love it.”

| zuko tags: @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @taeeemin @livelaughlovekuni @lovialy @alexatiu @heartfully10 @creationcitystreet-em

| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch @cipheress-to-k-pop @potato87123

#Kept the description of the necklace ambiguous to save it as a surprise for the proposal #fire lilies #zuko #zuko x reader #zuko imagine #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader #prince zuko imagine #atla #atla x reader #atla imagine #avatar the last airbender

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melodiousmonk · 10 months ago

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Ethan Hawke asks, "Why does masculine energy so often manifest itself as idiocy? Why is male sensitivity so often linked with perceived weakness? How does one be, as Johnny Cash said; ‘a dove with claws?'"

Kris Kristofferson takes a long beat, then says, “Yeah, that used to piss Shel Silverstein off.”

“What did?” Ethan asks.

“That whole ‘dove with claws’ thing. He just thought, ‘What the hell is that?'”

“Why do you think Cash said it?”

“I think he was feeling the very thing that you’re talking about – that if people think you are against the war, that in some way you’re a pussy.”

“Your first recorded song was a pro-Vietnam War song, right?”

“Yeah, I wrote it when I was in the Army on my way to Nashville, and I came upon a protest march. I had a lot of friends over there; and I was thinking we were fighting for freedom. And I wasn’t thinking very deeply.”

“Why did you end up changing your mind about that war?”

“I was flying helicopters in the Gulf of Mexico on one of those offshore oil rigs, and I was talking to some guys coming home. The stories they were telling me were so horrible that I think it just shocked me enough to change my thinking 180 degrees. I’m talking about things like this young vet telling me about taking people up in a helicopter and interrogating them and if they didn’t say what they were supposed to, they’d throw them out, stomping on the fingers of the prisoner holding on to the skids, you know? The guy telling me this particular story was still just a green kid when he returned from the war. The notion that you could make a young person do something so inhuman to another soldier – or even worse, a civilian – convinced me that we were in the wrong. I hadn’t been thinking in human terms of what that military action was.” He pauses, stroking my dog. “I agree with you totally about all the conditioning that makes us want to feel masculine and tough. I mean, I’m sure that’s why I went to Ranger School and Jump School. And I’m proud of that Ranger tab – still am. But the notion of bombing a defenseless country that’s never threatened us and the fact we all accepted it and said, That’s politics!’ Damn. I’m not really interested in polities. We’ve come to a place that I never dreamed and I know my father never dreamed that America would get to.

"That’s why Shel didn’t like that ‘dove with claws’ thing,” Kris goes on.

“Johnny Cash should have just said he was a dove and proud of it?”

“Exactly. ‘Cause people would have accepted anything from John,” says Kris. “We knew he was a man. I don’t really think anybody would have called Johnny Cash a pussy. But John was conditioned, just like you and me. You really have to get past all of that — where you have enough feeling about what’s right and wrong in the world to not give a shit about what kind of names anybody throws at you.

[Source - Rolling Stone Magazine]

#johnny cash #kris kristofferson #ethan hawke #shel silverstein

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noriashifts · 16 days ago

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🕊️WELCOME TO MY BLOG 🪸⊹₊ ⋆ !

사랑, NORI ⊹₊ ⋆ ! any prns . april taurus. mixed american, og shifter.

ALL ABOUT NORI : hi guys my name is ellanoria, but call me nori. i’m mixed ( creole, geechee, melungeon ) , any pronouns ( mainly she/her ) , april taurus , og shifttok girly , october lover , and i’ve shifted 2x .

ALL ABOUT NORIASHIFTS : my blog is about storytimes and helping people based off my own shifting experiences. i’m always open to talk about things so lmk if you have any questions or concerns, my dms stay open! let this be known I don’t have a face claim nor do I shift for celebrities/influencers often as that makes some people uncomfortable and for that me as well personally , ( do whatever you what, it isn’t my business). my links will be up soon ⊹₊ ⋆ !

FANDOMS : mcu , beyhive, shifting , jjk, sturniolo triplets ( i don’t shift for them ) , criminal minds , fnaf , console simmer ( loud & proud ) ,

D. REALITIES : ‘better dr’ , singer dr ( 3x, d. eras ) , actress dr , model dr ( 2x, mdrn & 90s ) , 2000s dr , golden trio era dr , maunders era dr , mom dr , small town dr , obx dr , mdrn y2k dr ( my life after the events of my 2000s dr ) , influencer dr , youtuber dr , 2016 LA teen dr , princess dr , my own country dr bridgerton dr , p. star dr , exotic dancer dr , avenger dr , & a random punk!harry fanfic set in 2010 .

LINKS : storytimes (soon ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི) . imagines (soon ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི) . tips & tricks (soon ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི) .

#shifting community #reality shifting #shifting blog #shifters #desired reality #shifting motivation #shifting diary #anti shifters dni #shifting script

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asunsetgrace16 · 9 months ago

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✧ 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦⎥𝗖𝗕98

Pairing: Connor Bedard x fem!reader

Summary: After a long, hard practice, Connor comes home to his girlfriend and a classic makeout on the couch

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, Connor giving reader hickeys, technically underage drinking since it’s set in Chicago

Notes: This is my first fic ever, so please go easy on me. I am really proud of this, since so often I write something and think it is horrible, so this is a big step for me.

masterlist⎥ navigation

Word Count: 1.1k

Connor unlocks the door with a sigh. Practice was rough and the weather has turned to shit. He toes off his shoes as the scent of onions and garlic meet his nose. A smile creeps onto his cloudy face when he thinks about the person behind the mouth-watering food. The one who sees Connor in a way nobody else can. The one who knows him.

He grins –fully this time– when he hears the music playing softly in the background. You can take a girl out of the country, but not the country out of the girl.

“Y/N, baby, I’m home”, he calls out, hanging his coat up and grabbing his phone.

“In the kitchen” she replies just as he walks in, “How was practice?”

“Rough. Harder than normal. Defense was put through the wringer, after that last game, and Richardson made us do sprints. We have got to get our shit together. A few guys were a little green by the end. Is there anything you need help with?”

“Just grab the wine out of the fridge. I had Janelle pick it up for me.Oh, grab the salad too. Greek tonight”

Connor heads around the island to the fridge, first stopping at the stove and wrapping his arms around his girlfriend. She relaxes into him, leaning her head back on his shoulder as his temple meets hers. They stand like that, eyes closed and relishing in the feeling of each other, finally. They sway gently to the beat of the music, a classic country love ballad that is one of Y/N's favourites. Y/N’s fingertips danced along his forearms before linking their fingers.

“I fucking hate long distance. Maybe I should try and transfer to school here”, Y/N says quietly, feeling tears well in her eyes.

Connor chokes up at her words, inhaling a shaky breath before he speaks. This topic is one that was discussed hundreds of times while Y/N was applying to school. They both knew it would be hard, but as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Hearing the tears in her voice, Connor swallows the lump in his throat and replies, “I know, baby, I know it sucks. I hate it too. I wish you were here more, and that I had more time to come up to you. But we can do this, let’s not take a moment we have together for granted.”

She turns in his arms, giving him a proper hug, holding each other close. He kisses her head, then kisses her lips tenderly. Y/N rests her head on his chest and feels the low thud of his heart. Connor drops a kiss to her shoulder and moves to get the wine and salad and the pasta is dished up. They discuss the happenings of the day over dinner, the momentary sadness over being apart evaporates. Connor shares animated stories of the Foligno kids and the better parts of practice. Both Connor and Y/N are wearing equally large smiles with love in their eyes. Their combined efforts have the dishes done, leftovers put away, and kitchen cleaned in record time.

Y/N pours a second glass of wine for the two of them and she settles on the couch, tucked into Connor’s side with his arm around her shoulders. He turns on the TV, Modern Family playing quietly as they sit in comfortable silence. Connor’s hand runs down her arm, landing low on her hip. Her hand sits in his thigh, thumb slowly rubbing back and forth. Y/N breathes deeply, inhaling the fresh scent of the soap from Connor’s after practice shower and his spicy cologne that lingers on his shirt, feeling drowsy and safe and warm. She tips her head up at him, meeting his eyes. He has a gentle smile on his face, bringing his hand to cup her cheek. Connor strokes her cheek with his thumb before tracing the line of her jaw, his eyes taking in her face, committing every detail to memory. The colour of her eyes, freckles on her cheeks, her full bottom lip.

His thumb catches on her lip, gently tugging it open before letting it go. He dips his head to hers, their lips meeting in a chaste kiss. Connor pulls back, but Y/N slides her hand around the back of his neck and brings their lips together again. This time deeper, more intense. She pushes up into a sitting position, her other hand finding Connor’s shoulder.

He grips her hip, holding her close and steady, other hand still on her cheek. He lets his tongue press against her lips, and she opens willingly. As they sink into the kiss, Connor grabs her behind her knee and pulls her to straddle his lap. The moment is all overlapping breaths and rushed inhales, searching hands and pure love. Both of Connor’s hands are on her hips now, slipping lower to grab her ass through her jeans. Y/N’s hand threads through his hair before tangling in his grown-out curls at the nape of his neck. Heavy breaths and light moans filter through the room when Connor kisses down Y/N’s neck, dragging his tongue over her jaw. His hands slide under her shirt, wandering over her bare back. He pulls her closer by a belt loop.

He peels her shirt off, and she returns the favour. Y/N tips her head back as Connor moves down her neck and along her collarbone, sliding her bra straps down. She lets out a breathy moan and moves to clutch his shoulders, she feels the firm muscles move and ripple under his warm skin. He pauses, nipping and sucking at her skin. The air is warm in the apartment, thick with tension. His hands sit firmly on her hips. Once Connor is satisfied with the mark he left, he moves a little lower, repeating the process again, and again.

It's a good thing it is winter, once Connor is done and moves to kiss her lips again. Y/N winces a little when his fingers brush the new bruises.

"I'm sorry baby." he whispers against her mouth.

She simply smiles and says back to him, "No, you're not, and neither am I. I love it just as much as you do."

This closeness, the intimacy of the moment is something the two cherish when they are apart. Connor pulls Y/N into his chest, holding her close. He draws shapes lightly along the bare expanse of her back, goosebumps rising in their wake. Her hands find hair, playing with the ends. Their foreheads rest against each other, eyes closed and arms wrapped around each other. Contentment and drowsiness replace hurried desire.

Connor stands, setting Y/N on her feet. Offering her his hand, he says, "Come on love, let's get to bed."

#‣ ✦ ‣ sunset works ＞ fics #‣ ✦ ‣〈 connor bedard 〉#nhl #chicago blackhawks #connor bedard #connor beard x reader #hockey imagine #nhl x reader #connor bedard imagine #nhl fluff

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wjhik · 11 months ago

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Why Are You Doing This To Me?! (Jude Bellingham)

A/N: guys im way too proud of this one. so much angst so much heartbreak. gaslighter!jude so much fun PLEASE COMMENT ANYTHING I LOVE READING THEM

As my birthday approached, I clung to the hope that maybe, just maybe, tonight would be different. I planned a special dinner for just the two of us, maybe a chance to reconnect and rediscover the love Jude and I had lost over the past 5 years. I was there for him at his worst at Dortmund, and now his best at Madrid, but as the hours ticked by and Jude failed to show, any remaining hope turned to despair. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I blew out the candles to my homemade chocolate cake, as per Jude’s request, alone, the flickering flames a cruel reflection of my shattered dreams.

↭

I sat on the edge of Jude and I’s bed, my fingers tracing aimless patterns on the wrinkled sheets beneath me. The clock on the bedside table mocked me with each passing second, a cruel reminder of Jude's absence. He had been drifting further away with each passing day, lost in the shitty late-nights with his friends. Our once vibrant relationship had begun to crumble, leaving me alone to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart.

I had given everything up for Jude. I left everything I knew to come to Dortmund to be with him. I gave up scholarships to end up going to a shitty college in a country where I knew no one, but I never complained, because I was with the love of my life. A few years in, I had finally settled down, but Jude decided he was too good for Germany, so he made the move to Madrid with not a thought about me. He wouldn't hesitate to leave me behind if I didn’t make it work, but being the dumbass I am, I made it work. I moved out here to Madrid with him just for me to see him, if I’m lucky, twice a week, despite living together.

Unable to bear the silence of our empty house any longer, I made the decision. The decision I would regret forever. I went to Jude's regular bar, the place where he often chilled in the company of his friends. Pushing open the door, I was greeted by the familiar scent of stale beer and laughter. But, unexpectedly, Jude was nowhere to be found. My heart started pounding, thinking about the worst possible situations. I scanned the room to see a group of some of Jude’s teammates. I let out a sigh of false relief, suspecting maybe he was using the toilet or something. Desperation clawed at my chest as I approached Vini.

"Vini, have you seen Jude tonight?" I asked the Brazilian, my voice trembling with emotion, hoping and praying that he knew.

His eyes were glassy and unfocused, words slurred from far too many drinks. "Yeah, he left a while ago," he mumbled, pointing vaguely in the direction of the exit. “With someone…” He softly added on softly. “With who?!” I exclaimed. “Just one of his friends, don’t worry.” Luka adds on. “Where’d he go?” I asked, slightly shivering. “I don’t know.” They said, miserably lying. “Please.” I plead, tears in my eyes.

↭

I heart sank unhealthily deep in my chest as I shoved my phone back into my pocket, the address burning in the forefront of my mind. I started the 30-minute walk to the given location, all sorts of horrible thoughts in my head. Who is this friend? Do I know him? Why would Jude not tell me? Why were the guys keeping it a secret? Is he with another girl?

↭

With trembling hands, I pressed the doorbell, my pulse racing with anticipation as if I had run 5 marathons with no break. The door swung open, revealing Jude. He was shirtless, bruises all over his uncovered chest, bruises I didn’t leave. He looked around briefly until his eyes meet my wet ones. “Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jude asked me, much too surprised for anything innocent, his voice tinged with guilt. Before I got the chance to reply, I heard a voice calling his name from the next room. I heard light footsteps approaching my boyfriend. “Baby, who’s there?” She asked. My heart instantly dropped. Anguish surged through my veins as the truth dawned on her.

The beautiful woman wearing lacy lingerie and a silk robe places a kiss on the back of Jude’s neck before clinging onto his arm. “Can we help you?” She asked, far too nicely. My eyes filled with tears as I struggled to find my voice. "Who is she?" I whispered, ignoring the girl on Jude’s arm in my place and locking eyes with my ‘boyfriend’, my heart breaking with each and every word

Jude's gaze shifted uncomfortably, his grip on the other girl tightening. "She's just a friend," he insisted, but his words fell on my deaf ears. Her eyes widened as she realized who was standing at her front step.

A torrent of emotions flooded through me as I screamed all sorts of horrid curses at Jude, each accusation tearing at our already fragile bond. “You’re a cheating, lying bastard! All these fucking years I wasted on you, you’re going to throw that all away for this?! And on my fucking birthday?!” I couldn't understand how the man I loved with all my heart could betray me like this, how he could throw away everything we had built together for the sake of a fleeting moment of pleasure.

“Love, you’re hyperventilating. You’ll pass out at this rate. Please come inside.” The woman offers. She sat me down on her couch as I uncontrollably sobbed and screamed at Jude. She disappeared for a moment into her kitchen and came back with a glass of water.

Our argument echoed through the empty hallway, or should I say my yelling, because Jude had nothing to say. All of my insecurities that Jude has ever reassured bubbled to the surface, fueled by years of my doubt and his neglect. I was small and insignificant. I didn't matter in Jude's eyes anymore. I didn’t matter in anyone’s eyes.

Jude stepped away from my shaking body to cross paths with his ‘new girl’. I couldn’t hear everything except for something along the lines of: “You’re right, Jude. She’s not well. She needs help.” It sounded sympathetic. I stood up and continued yelling. “You made me seem like I’m fucking crazy! You fucking asshole, you ruined everything! Anybody would go crazy with all the shit you put me through!” The two got startled and came over to comfort me once again. I felt like I was nothing. Nothing but a mentally ill, crazy bitch. I felt like it was all my fault. Maybe Jude wasn’t wrong to cheat on me. “It’s okay, darling. Just breathe.” The girl comforts me.

↭

Somewhere along the lines of screaming and crying, I had given out and fallen asleep on my boyfriend’s side chick’s couch. This was probably my lowest point ever. My eyes shot open and the tears fell out once again. I looked around to see no one there. I heard a sweet voice coming from the other room. I went over to see Jude on her bed, head in his hands, and her hugging and comforting him. Jude looked up and immediately shot up. He moved towards me and hugged me.

"Y/N, let's go home. You’re so exhausted." he said softly, his eyes pleading for forgiveness.

I hesitated, torn between the desire to lash out at this fucker who broke my heart and the girl he broke it with or the longing for comfort they both were giving me. But in the end, I nodded, allowing Jude to drive me back to our shared house. The journey was filled with a heavy silence, the weight of his unspoken words hanging in the air like a thick fog, my words were all spoken. I laid my head on the window, unable to hold back my tears.

As we entered the house, once called a home, the tension between us was obvious. You could break it with the dullest of knives. I looked at the man I once loved who didn’t hesitate to throw me aside like a broken toy. But to my own surprise, I wasn’t leaving. I always preached about leaving your cheater boyfriends, but I truly had no one else.

"I'm not leaving," I said, my words hanging in the air like a lifeline. “I have nowhere else to go. You’re all I know."

And with those simple words, I thought the fragile remnants of our love were stitched back together, a patchwork of broken promises and shattered dreams, but I was wrong.

"I have to go, Y/N," Jude's voice broke through the heavy silence, his words hanging in the air like a dark cloud.

My heart skipped a beat, confusion etched into every line of my face. What is he doing? I’m letting him have his happy ending. What the fuck is happening? "What do you mean?" I whispered, my voice barely audible in pure confusion.

Jude took a deep breath, his gaze filled with sadness and regret. "I'm leaving you, Y/N," he said, each word like a dagger to my heart. "Cassie… she's pregnant. I'm going to be a father, and I’m really happy about it."

The world seemed to spin out of control as I struggled to comprehend the enormity of Jude's betrayal. Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at him, unable to find the words to express the depth of my pain. “Jude, I’m giving you what you want here. I’m supposed to be the independent woman and leave you, but I’m not. I’m staying. What the fuck are you doing to me?” I say, sobbing as I try to plead my case.

“Y/N, please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” He said, walking into the bedroom to get his pre-packed suitcase, me trailing behind. “Listen, I was planning on doing this anyways. The house is all yours. I don’t need it.” He says, handing me his keys. I looked around at our house, all of his belongings were gone. How did I not notice? “Wait, Jude. Hold on. Why are you doing this to me-” I tried to say as Jude walked out of the room. “You’ll be fine.” He interrupted. He put his hand on the back of my head and kissed my forehead. And like that, he walked out of my life.

↭

Six years passed in a blur of heartache and longing. I watched helplessly as Jude built a new life with Cassie, our shared house now a distant memory. I thought I would accept it, but I never did. I couldn't change the past, couldn't erase the hurt and betrayal, and I knew that, but it didn’t help. All I could do was move forward, one painful step at a time, but I couldn’t. All of our pictures hung in my apartment, despite selling our house out of desperation. I couldn’t keep a job, always coming to work drunk and miserable, so I needed the money.

Here I found myself standing outside a church, my heart heavy with sorrow and despair. I received an invitation to Jude's wedding, a cruel reminder of how that sick bastard ruined my life. But as I stepped inside the beautiful venue, my eyes fell on two familiar faces in the crowd.

Jude stood at the altar, his hand intertwined with the woman who ended it all, a big smile playing at the corners of his lips, bigger than when we were ever together. And beside them, a little boy with Jude's dark curly hair and soulful eyes, his resemblance to his father unmistakable.

My heart hurt and felt heavy at the sight, a bittersweet and horrible mix of sadness and resignation washing over me like a tidal wave. I watched silently as Jude exchanged vows with the other woman, my heart breaking with each promise of love and fidelity. He promised her love, care, attention, and ironically honesty and loyalty. The same things he promised me almost 10 years ago, but here I am. A miserable guest while she’s his wife.

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