#it’s never too late to convince people he’s problematic

[whereserpentswalk]

They say there was a monster hunter, who had killed countless cryptids and entities, who fell in love with a vampire. They fell in love when they were fighting, but as they rolled around it soon felt as if they were playing, and soon they kissed, and he forgot about her fangs that could have so easily bitten him. And for once he chose not to kill a monster.

And she told him that she could be with him, and be his lover, for as long as he wished. But she reminded him that she was a free being, that she would never be tamed by him, and never made to put down her weapons, and be made to be like a human bride. She would never be able to marry him by any law, never have sex with him or bare his children, never take him as her only lover, or his god as her only god, and when he died her life would still be far from over. And he agreed with his words, but hoped she would change her mind some day on all things.

As as the hunter was still young, he let her hunt with him. She could see and hear better than any human, and knew where her fellow unseelie lurked. She could hypnotize a mothman as he shot at it from the ground, and could track a werewolf in the darkest of nights. And they would run together across city streets in the moonlight, and for a time their love was true. And all the local bars and local artists began to know their names well, and as the cold autumn night winds blew in their hair, they knew eachother at their best. Soon they had an apartment together, and he would brush her hair in the morning light as she slept.

At first they thought they were alike. But as he saw her hunt more, saw her mouth open wide into a mess as fangs and sharp teeth and then fold back to human shape, saw her run naked to chase down a stray goblin, and saw her sexless body naked, with scars from where her humanity was lost, he began to see her as a wild beast he had on a leash. And as she saw all the things he hunted, how willingly he would trust the testimony of humans, and how little he would show ugly things mercy. There were many creatures she had to convince him not to kill, as many as there were creatures she helped him kill, and she too felt she was hold a leash with a wild beast at the other end more and more as time went on and on.

And as he got older and older, and he began getting stranger and stranger freinds. Strange to the vampire at least, to the monster hunter they were very normal. No longer did he know the poor, the students and teachers and programmers and artists. Soon he had freinds who worked in finance, in law, who ran startups, or women who lived like pets in their husband's laps. And suddenly he wanted her to look presentable to them, even if they knew she was a vampire she couldn't be the kind they would be afraid of. Her mouth couldn't open all the way, it had to remain in a human looking state. And she couldn't spread her wings, and she had to move like a human, and dress well around them. And when they ate she couldn't drink blood, she just had to be served mortal food, and state at it as she ate nothing. And he'd pet her little head as he answered so many questions for her.

And as he got older still he began to have richer and richer clients. Fewer people in danger and more and more people looking to get rid of "problematic elements". And more and more did the hunter look at the vampire and realize that he was older now, and she was still young. And he wondered if he should have told her to transform him when he was still young, and make him like her, of the unseelie kind, forever young. Yet he thought he was too late for that, not knowing how much older he still had to grow.

And eventually, as he was older, and his clients ever richer, he told her that he was moving. He didn't ask her. He told her. And it was assumed she'd move with him. And he took her to a town, just outside of the city limits, where you needed a car to leave. And there was nothing to do at night, and no cryptids or entities but her. And there was a big house with a TV. And he would drive into the city to hunt, without her. And she would no longer walk the city streets, free and wild, and she would no longer have freinds outside of him. And she was alone, for the first time in centuries she had nobody.

And once, after they had lived together in that town for years. As he had grown older, he told her that it was time she finally slept with him. He pointed to his body and explained to her that he had needs as a man, and she had duties as his wife, and it was the first time he ever called her his wife. And as she told him no, he pulled down his pants, and began to force her mouth open. And it did open, but he had forgotten how wide it did open, she had made it look human for him for so long, and soon the bottom half of her face had once again shown itself as a mess of sharp fangs and many jaws.

They say she flew back to the city that night. And say that his body still sits in that empty house. Cold and abandoned, stripped of pants, and drained of blood, doomed to be forgotten.

[dearweirdme]

Hi Rain, how are you doing?

I wasn't part of the fandom or into Taekook around April-May last year, but last night I came across some screenshots of tweets on a Taekook shipper Telegram channel. The Twitter account that posted them has since been suspended (Twitter account: o*f_s*a*s*a*e*n*g).

I know these are just some tweets, and with the account being suspended, I'm not sure if this falls under "invasion of privacy" or not because I wasn’t in the fandom at the time, I really don’t know what happened and I'm here to find out. In my opinion, it's harmless, but I understand that I could be completely wrong. However, since I trust you and value your judgment more than any Taekooker on this or any other platform, I wanted to ask for your opinion. Have you seen or heard about them in real-time? Are they real? Are they fake?

If you think discussing this might be problematic or could get you in trouble, please feel free not to publish it.

Thanks so much for everything, Rain!

Tweets👇

“May 24, 2023: Company of partners want to drag Jungkook into a fake relationship scandal, don't believe the rumors, all this is spread by the fans of the other member from the chat, so that at the time of the release of his solo album, the Chinese fans will leave him. Don't leave him because of the rumors. Like Taehyung.

Date Unknown: Photo of BTS Taehyung kissing a human whom he loves is in the hands of a very powerful person, the photo was taken in the central Mediterranean between Sicily and North Africa (Google will give information). No one except sasaeng (from people who are not close to the artists) saw this photo, 2018, at dawn (when the sun was rising) this photo was taken, if the decision had not been made then, then in 2018 BTS really would not have returned—this story will have a happy ending, for both sides.

Date Unknown: Don't take it as a "test" it's a "work" in this industry they are not the first year. they know everything and discuss in advance with their superiors and, of course, real partners, no one cries into the pillow, this is business.

April 24, 2023: Don't forget to text the idols hiding in the closet that you love them, because a little bit of freedom comes at a price, especially on social media where fans are waiting.

April. 25, 2023: Soon you will see the intervention of the company and the already hackneyed scenario

May 18, 2023: Wait for a post from a person who is not indifferent to this situation, it doesn't matter even if it's a song or just an excerpt from a book, you will understand everything

May 18, 2023: Before telling a lie, he told you the truth, or rather showed HIS truth, - the honor of the family does not compare with love, there are consequences for every sip of freedom."

Hi anon!

I don’t mind answering (sorry for being late to respond though), I’m just probably not the most up to date on this. I’m not on twitter much. The place is too much for me. So, I’m also not too up to date on stuff like this, also because I don’t trust anything that comes from anonymous sources.. that basically also goes for things that seem in favor of tkk being real.

Is it possible that there’s people who know them that spill information anonymously? Yes it is. We have no way of knowing though. There’s a lot of accounts everywhere who will try and look as if they are in the know just to get fandom attention. Laat year we had that crazy Taennieisaflop account, at this moment there’s a Jkk account on Tumblr trying to convince people Jk and Jm are their twinflames, there’s saseangs who want attention… the list of people in this fandom doing things for attention is just crazy long. People saying things for attention is just plain untrustworthy, so I don’t pay much attention to it.. and it is never something I base my thoughts on.

Sorry for being useless 😊.

[zwy01]

Kaelestis Doodles!!!

My OC Kaelestis Blerster, son and only child of Karias Blerster. His other parent is Rael Kertia (soul fragment donor). For more info on his bio check out my pinned post!

1. Doodle dump of changes in Kaelestis’ appearance as he grows up. As a small child his hair was basically kind of like Rael’s, except even messier. Karias didn’t really do anything about his son’s hair because he thought his fluffy baby was cute that way haha. And it’s true! Though as soon as Kaelestis became aware of his own appearance he started taking care of it by combing it to the sides of his head. In general kiddie Kaelestis had a round face and this feature stays with him well into adulthood. Karias’ features kick in fairly late, when Kaelestis is much, much older. Far future Kaelestis still has that same frowny expression though. He reminds people of his uncle Razark and paternal grandfather Krasis. Kaelestis isn’t trying to frown but that’s just what his face looks like when relaxed. Dammit, he’s trying his hardest, but people just keep asking him what’s wrong. Nothing really, he’s quite content actually. Orrr maybe he could be concerned about something, who knows. Hopefully he’s not worrying about Karias doing something over the top for the nth time.

2. Karias with his tiny son! While there are some… perhaps problematic things in their father-son relationship, Kaelestis’ early childhood was a very good one and arguably the best time he’s shared with his father. Which leads to the thing I want to discuss next, and that is what’s exactly going on between the two of them, and the details of what their dynamic is like.

In general, Karias and Kaelestis have a pretty decent father-son relationship. If you asked, everyone would basically tell you that oh, they have a great relationship. And that is a correct observation, because it is true. For the most part, at least. There’s nothing abnormal or strange, and they don’t have conflicts with each other. There are even affectionate moments here and there too, though there’s more to it than what people generally see.

Remember when I said that Kaelestis is more like a parent to Karias than the other way around like it’s supposed to be? That’s actually a very long story, and it goes all the way back to Kaelestis’ early childhood, to when he was a toddler, so roughly a 20 year old ish. You see, Kaelestis was a very, very well-behaved child. So well-behaved, it’s actually quite unbelievable when you think about it in hindsight. Even the other now elegant and sophisticated nextgen nobles had to be disciplined and educated to some extent to correct rowdy, weird, and sometimes unacceptable behavior. Which was basically all of them, even the super nice ones like Asa, Alethea, and Cordelia. Except for Kaelestis. He was the only exception. People were actually kind of envious of Karias, and to them he very much won the lottery with his kid. Not to mention Kaelestis is Karias and Rael’s kid… people intially expected him to be some sort of mixture between the two of his parents, but worse. Turns out, they were totally wrong. Kiddie Kaelestis was as sweet as you could get with any child. He was honest, patient, kind, and generous. He always waited for his turn to speak, always politely and correctly addressed everyone accordingly (except for that one time when Karias convinced him with the lie that Lord Raskreia is his auntie and he actually called her that lol), and never caused mischief. It’s not that he had superior self-control; those things simply just never crossed his mind. It wasn’t in his nature to do anything out of line. People kept praising Karias for his superb parenting and everyone dreaming of having a kid like Kaelestis. He’s the best you can ever get, right? And as a parent, of course you’d want to support your kid. So Karias tells a young Kaelestis how much he loves him, he’s his baby son. Sometimes Karias would also throw in a comment about how well-behaved he is, and that he’s proud of him. Of course kiddie Kaelestis would be very happy to hear that. It’s praise from none other than the Blerster Clan Leader, his dear father who he loves and respects more than anyone else in this world! That’s where everything started, and you could say it’s for the worse. Kaelestis, who holds his father in such high regard, would take this praise as a very serious thing and more or less it got engraved in his mind. You know when you were a small kid and someone said something that could be trivial but you remembered it forever and it basically impacted the trajectory some aspect of your life? Basically that. And so Kaelestis began to take pride in the fact that he was so well-behaved, and continuing to do that would make his father as proud as ever. Before this, he wasn’t even aware of the fact that he was the “perfect” child, he simply was. Now that this became a new addition to his knowledge, of course he’s going to act on it. But to Karias, Kaelestis was still a small child (toddler equivalent) so Karias isn’t going to take it too seriously anyway. He still showered his baby with affection and always gave him attention. And Kaelestis very much enjoyed every moment of it.

Fast forward to the time when Kaelestis was the equivalent of a 8-12 year old human. You know when kids are very young the parents always treat them like baby and when they get a bit older and have thoughts of their own the parents start to really have fun with their kids? That’s what happens next. Karias doesn’t need to watch Kaelestis all the time anymore, hovering over his son and worrying about him getting himself into some sort of danger. He could let him run free for a bit. Let him be on his own, and do his own thing. Karias still spends time with his son and is affectionate with him, in a different way. Because Kaelestis now takes pride in being so well-behaved, he actually makes a conscious effort to be even more well-behaved. He’s become obsessed with the idea, more or less. Be the perfect son, don’t ever cause trouble, make Father proud because he doesn’t need to worry about me, and then Father can attend to his duties as Clan Leader with high efficiency. This was what Kaelestis knew at the time, and it truly was out of good will, as he’s being considerate of others. But what young Kaelestis didn’t know was that this also meant that he’s sacrificing his own well-being and need for closeness to his father. And Karias wasn’t even aware of this, he just thought that this is just what his kid is like, being nice as usual and that, and he can focus more on clan duties. And so Kaelestis never got the extra recognition that he yearned for, and even worse his father now spends less time with him. He got what he wanted, didn’t he? For his father to be the best Clan Leader ever? But something doesn’t feel so right, and Kaelestis starts to doubt his own decision. Even worse, Kaelestis doesn’t do anything to fix the situation, he just goes with the flow because he started this himself. His Clan Leader never asked of him for any of this. But now that it’s done, there’s no choice but to endure the consequences and move on, right? For now, he’ll continue to be the best son for his father. Because he loves him. It’ll do. This won’t go on forever, right? At least Kaelestis had thought so, though this optimism would soon be replaced with even more regret and exhaustion.

Fast forward to Kaelestis’ teen years, so the human equivalent of a 13-19 year old ish. Kaelestis’ hobbies are expanding, and his talent is truly blooming. He had discovered his love for the arts… painting, sculpture, anything really. This was his purpose in life, and his skills were really impressive. Karias is of course overjoyed and thrilled to learn that his son is so talented and that he has found his passion. And so Karias gets Kaelestis all the materials he could possibly find both inside and outside of Lukedonia, and Kaelestis is very touched by his father’s gestures. He has all this stuff with work with now! It was a real moment of joy for him, and yet another memory for him to remember forever , which would later also become tinted with melancholy. Now that Kaelestis actually has time to spend on projects, he is indirectly pushing his father away even more. Whenever Karias would drop by to check on his son and ask him how he’s doing, Kaelestis would always answer that he’s doing well, and Karias doesn’t need to worry about him, because he has art, and that’s all he needs to be happy. Which was a lie, because he actually longed for time with his father. He misses his early childhood where the two of them would spend time together everyday, all day. But he needs to not be a distraction to his father’s schedule, because he’s well-behaved right? He could hold in his feelings of yearning… right? So Karias never learns of his son’s true feelings. Because he never tells him. Which just hurts Kaelestis even more because now he’s actually reinforcing Karias’ belief that his son is all good and that his role as father isn’t one that is needed too much, because he’s a good boy who can entertain himself in peace. And that’s when they start to see each other less and less. They still have dinner together and talk about the day sometimes, but the frequency is nothing like before anymore. Not even close. Kaelestis is hurting himself, and he can’t bring himself to admit to his father that he needs him. No, no, there’s no way he can be an inconvenience to his father. Of course Karias would never think of his son in that way, ever. But Kaelestis’ tendencies to overthink and internalize things drives him to this conclusion. And this doesn’t change much even after Kaelestis becomes a young adult. And so, even to this day, whenever Kaelestis picks up a paintbrush or a chisel, he’d always be reminded of the fact that he (partially) traded away his father’s bond with himself for this. Perhaps this melancholy doesn’t sting Kaelestis as much as it did at first, but it will always be a thorn in his heart, a mild, reoccurring pain.

Kaelestis’ feelings of responsibility over his father carries over to different aspects too. You see, Karias’ personality is drastically different from Kaelestis’. That’s literally just how he is. He’s flamboyant and always going over the top, sometimes he’d say or do something inappropriate by noble standards and get yelled at by Rozaria and Gejutel… etc etc. The usual drill. Kaelestis feels like he needs to keep Karias in check to make sure he’s not being an inconvenience to others. He’s Karias’ son, and it is his duty to make sure Father doesn’t do something so out of line again. And this involves reminding his father of “ahem, Clan Leader, please don’t do that” to reprimanding him if he comedically wails about how he’s not allowed to have fun and his son is just sooooo not fun either. To be honest, Karias has always been like this since the start but Kaelestis just never took it seriously until he got older, because he didn’t think it was a problem. Now that his sense of responsibility is ever so strong, of course he’d be concerned with Karias’ self-representation out there. To Kaelestis, Karias’ image is heavily tied with the entire clan’s image. Karias just thinks his son is hilarious. Which does not amuse Kaelestis because he essentially still needs to parent his parent and being laughed at in the face isn’t exactly helpful either. Kaelestis’ duties includes apologizing to others when Karias does something weird, warning others about what might come, reminding Karias about what and what not to say at meetings, etc etc. You could say that Kaelestis thinks this is exhausting, because it really is. But to him, maybe this is some other form of bonding, to fill that void in his childhood. In a way, this is spending time with his father whom he misses dearly. But still. Kaelestis yearns for Karias to interact with him like they did in his childhood. Just gentle affection and attention from his father. He wants to be a small child again, because he had never been able to smile out of true happiness for a very long time now. He wishes he’d never taken being well-behaved so seriously, because that one phrase of praise led to everything that causes him sadness in the present day. In a way, he misses Karias. Karias was never out of reach, as the two of them live in the same manor and they’re often together on duties and errands. Mentally and emotionally? That’s the complicated part. Kaelestis is there, and not there in the same time. To Karias he’s still his precious son and everything is totally normal. But to Kaelestis there is this gap between them that will never close, and it’s entirely his own fault so he can’t complain. Perhaps if Kaelestis didn’t see clearing a misunderstanding as such a heavy burden, he would’ve done it. Just admit to Father that you were unhappy all along. Just do it. He thinks about it often, but ends up failing every single time. Just can’t bring himself to say it. And so this eats him from the inside out, causing him to be in a constant state of burnout. The kid he was never able to be, and the peace of mind he will never get. The ever so gracious maturity and sophisticated energy that he emits and perceived by others, is a curse to him. The burden does not end there. When he’s with his friends, the others automatically assume that he’ll be the chaperone and take responsibility for anything that happens. Even their joke nickname for him is “dad” because he’s so much like one, right? This puts even more pressure on him, and he has to constantly be on lookout in case any of them does something stupid. Hearing them tell the others “Kaelestis didn’t stop me, so I did it anyway” doesn’t exactly help either. He’s getting blamed for something they decided to do? He never signed up for this, but he doesn’t want to make things complicated, so he keeps it inside and… boom. Stress and more stress. It’s always, always there. He still enjoys being in the presence of his friends but sometimes the burden overrides the joy and in the end, everyone had a good time, except for himself.

One of his deepest unspoken desires is for someone to come hold him, and tell him he can stop and put down everything and just cry. Come and rescue him, and help him out of this cage that he put himself in. To this day, he awaits for someone to burst down that wall he spent his entire life maintaining. Someone. Anyone.

Aaaand this is about it for now! I’d love to talk more about my precious Kaekae in the future so I might do that when I have the opportunity again!

(+ this is why Kaelestis falls for Izar! Unlike virtually all of the others, Izar doesn’t cause much trouble. He’s mostly obsessed with doing research in his own lab and rarely leaves it. Sometimes there’d be an explosion, but that’s pretty much it. Nothing dramatic or extra involved. Izar is also very chill in general and would take care of Kaelestis when he’s a visiting his lab as a “guest” : offering him snacks and drinks, showing him his figure collection and letting him play with them, showering him in plushies to hug, putting a blanket over him after he’s fallen asleep from listening to him reading research papers… all those small but heartwarming things that make Kaelestis feel being taken care of. Izar isn’t even aware of the fact that these simple gestures mean so, so much to Kaelestis and that this dude is in love with him… how lovely! +for more info in Izar feel free to once again check out my pinned post+ special Izar post from before!)

((again sleep deprived so excuse me for any typos haha hopefully it all makes sense! See you again in the future!!))

[offsidekineticist]

Surely Giliys can’t be problematic in any way, right? (Him for the problematic oc meme)

(Under a cut because of a lot of murder, some vivisections, betrayal, child neglect/abuse, emotional problems, relationship problems and boundary crossing, and a smidgen of sexism).

Giliys is, indeed, an unproblematic angel. Well except that he....

• Is literally a serial killer.

• Is responsible for at least 4 mass casualty incidents.

• Participated in the fatal vivisection of dozens of elderly slaves when he was 9-15 years old (coerced, but it's still worth mentioning, I think)

• Sold his soul for the power to escape slavery and immediately (albeit accidentally) killed every other slave at the manor as well as his master and most of said master's immediate family

• Worked for the Bellflower Network leading enslaved halflings to freedom, but he would also occasionally murder his charges and claim their souls for hell. (Happened every couple of years for decades)

• Has murdered children because "power corrupts," and he thinks children raised as nobility are already irredeemably corrupted by the time they can talk.

• Wiped out an entire noble family (including the kids) in a vengeful rampage over what one branch (and really one member of that branch) did to him. (Although, to be fair, he spared his target's infant son because it probably wasn't "too late" for him.)

• Left a naked, screaming baby on the ground on the edge of a rural village in the middle of the night because he didn't to be there when people got up to see what was going on.

• Dug up corpses to sell to Kaer Maga's less reputable necromancers for his first job.

• Made a lateral career move from graverobber to "cheap assassin for all your affair busting and inheritance stealing needs"

• Got good enough at assassinating that he could get away with killing rich folks and looting their corpses/manors/stagecoaches, so he didn't need jobs anymore.

• Broke into Theo's house after escaping Dottari custody because he needed a place to lie low. Giliys proceeded to attempt to kill Theo, but was already badly injured so he tripped over nothing, landed on his dagger, hit his head, and passed out.

• Acts like an asshole partly to alienate people because his pact makes him dangerous, but mostly because he tends to latch onto anyone who shows him a shred of common decency with an almost frightening intensity and devotion, which has resulted in him being severely let down when he latched onto people who didn't deserve (or want) his loyalty.

• Always thinks of his patron as being female despite his patron not having a physical voice, never revealing its physical appearance to him, never specifying pronouns, and never indicating that it has any gender at all (it doesn't).

• Categorically does not trust tallfolk.

* (Recent retcon of the story of how Theo and Giliys became parents together) adopted Mayhew and Harper without consulting Theo. He convinced himself Theo wouldn't mind because he would be so happy to be a dad again and so proud of Giliys for being ready to take this step.

• Accidentally forced Theo to take over parenting duties after they broke up (AGAIN) because Theo was adamant that he could not be a dad again. Turns out Giliys wasn't actually ready to be a single dad, and it escalated into an emergency.

• Yes, they do end up in couple's therapy, how did you know?

• Goes to hell to rescue the souls he damned for his patron. Which sounds unproblematic until you realize that he did this on impulse without consulting Theo (AGAIN), and Qweck followed him to Hell to make sure he made it back. Meaning Theo was left, without warning, to take care of four kids by himself, without Qweck's help, without the family's primary breadwinner (alchemists make way more than stablehands who moonlight as storytellers), living in an apartment they only had because it was attached to the alchemy shop Giliys was no longer there to run.

• Yes, they do end up in family therapy, how did you know?

But, yeah, other than those very minor hiccups, Giliys is tediously unproblematic.

[sapphire-weapon]

I think the fact that so many people want to label Leon/Ashley as canonically "sibling- coded" is because they feel threatened in the way they view other of Leon's relationships, they can tell Leon and Ashley have chemistry and they try to convince themselves that they have a familial bond going on (like Ellie/Joel) so that they can justify not shipping them and making people who ship it feel bad/weird.

Because nowadays so many people can't just dislike something, they have to make up a reason why it's morally wrong and unacceptable so that way they can bully people that think differently and feel like their own personal opinions are objective and right while everyone else is wrong smh. This is mostly the case with younger fans (tho a lot of people older than me does this too lmao) so that's why I don't really find it frustrating bc it's most likely they have limited real life experience. Plus they might not be that good at interpreting canon from contextual clues yet.

In my case though I think a lot of these people are actually doing the opposite tbh because to me it just shows that they recognize that Ashley's relationship with Leon is real and they can't even concede that they're friends in the canon because they know it could lead to something else if followed through in the story, they admit there's potential there subconsciously with how hard they try to make it seem otherwise with nonsense claims. It's like when insecure guys feel uncomfortable but try to seem tough by buying big trucks and having guns on them all the time lmao.

So, I've talked about this before -- about how the "sibling coded" or "problematic age gap" discourse is just modern-day fandom's way of slutshaming and engaging in casual misogyny in a societally acceptable way.

I'm pretty confident in saying that anyone in my generation who slaps "siblings" on Leon and Ashley are probably people who have another ship and have had it for a while and don't want Ashley getting in the way of it, tbh LMAO

Like.... my generation has co-opted the current generation's vernacular, but make no mistake about the kind of bitches we are. We're ship war bitches. That's all we've ever been AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE OUR WAYS NOW fjdskfh

But if we're talking about the current generation...

Media illiteracy is a big factor in this. It's no secret to anyone that the US education system took a massive shit starting in the late aughts/early 2010s, and things like critical reading skills aren't being taught in schools anymore.

I graduated high school in 2007. Two years later, I went back to visit an old English teacher to get a letter of recommendation, and he was lamenting to me that he'd just given up. It wasn't worth trying to explain the deeper themes of Beowulf to kids who didn't care, because the only thing that mattered was getting them to pass standardized tests.

So, now, without an overt, explicit declaration of love or something visually concrete like a kiss, kids literally do not have the skills to parse through a text and pick out themes and tropes and use of symbolism and imagery. They were never taught how to do it.

But there's a more culture-based thing happening here, I think. It's this fucking mess of a cocktail of internalized misogyny paired with learned helplessness, social anxiety, intense sheltering possibly exacerbated by the pandemic shutdowns, peer pressure, and internet purity culture.

I think it's pretty safe to say that fandom is predominantly made up of women and teenage girls. That was true in the 60s in Star Trek fandom, it was true in my generation, and it's still true today. And what I've seen happening today is that young women are absolutely terrified of their own sexual agency -- because the internet keeps telling them that, if you're under 18, it is wrong and bad and unacceptable for you to engage with anything even remotely sexual and how dare you express your sexuality -- and you'd better not do it not just because it's wrong and bad, but also because you are GUARANTEED TO BE PREYED UPON IF YOU DO. SEX IS DANGEROUS ALL OF THE TIME AND YOU'RE LITERALLY TOO YOUNG AND TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING SO DON'T TRY TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Because if you're 17 and he's 18, he's a pedophile!!!!!!!!

I just.

So, we've now basically turned an entire generation of young women into the same type of young women who created the BL genre in Japan. These are women who were too afraid to explore their sexuality on their own, and it felt safer to do it with two male characters, because it was always more "okay" for men to be sexual. This is happening here in the West, now.

Slash ships have always been a thing in the West, but not to the degree that they are today. In today's fandom, if you have an M/F ship at all, you are outnumbered by at least 3:1 -- because M/M just "feels" safer for a lot of the current generation.

So, I think young women look at the Remake portrayal of Ashley Graham, and they identify with her. A lot. They're probably around her age, and her personality is very relatable to the kind of girls who play video games. Ashley's clearly introverted, but she's a fast learner who just wants to help, and she's got a good heart and a weird, kind of awkward sense of humor.

And, not only do these girls identify with Ashley, they're probably thirsty as fuck for Leon.

But that's terrifying to them.

Because they have been taught to fear their own sexual agency. The idea that an attractive, traditionally masculine, older man would be romantically or sexually interested in them is immediately categorized in their brains as wrong and bad -- and they don't want to think of Leon in that way.

So... for them, it can't be romantic. It can't be sexual. But there's clearly something there, but Leon would never abuse or prey on anyone so... that bond must be a perfectly innocent familial affection. That's what it is. That's what it has to be, because anything else forces them to face the uncomfortable reality even young women like them go on dates and have sex -- and sometimes, it's with men like Leon.

So, they thirst over Leon at a safe distance through Luis, primarily. Or they self-indulge on reader fic, because that's so much easier to write off as "just a fantasy" and not a statement on who Leon actually is as a character.

And it's just kind of sad, man. It sucks to see this happen to an entire generation of young women.

That's why I don't really get mad when I see the "siblings" shit out in the wild. I just feel sad for those people -- because they can't just say "I don't like the ship." They're so insecure and neurotic that they have to think of a reason why the ship is literally impossible to ever happen so that they don't have to be worried about it.

One day, they'll finally suck a dick for themselves and learn that it's not that serious. It's really fuckin not. Dicks are stupid, and the boys that are attached to them are even dumber.

[barfok]

SOTHA SIL: My friends, it occurs to me that, in your sentimental naivety, you have overlooked the most straightforward solution to our quandary. There is one road left to us, though it be a dark one.

VIVEC: No, you can't mean...

ALMALEXIA: Gods, Sil--

S: Yes. The time has come to cancel Nerevar.

V: We cant! He is too great a hero, beloved by all. The cancelling would never take.

A: Vivec is right. We are cunning but we have nowhere near his clout. How could we cancel Nerevar? Who would believe us?

S: But the truth is on our side, is it not? Who better than we know the crimes he has committed? If the people were taken into the same confidence as we, they would deem him problematic without further question.

V: It is true. He never told me whether he condemns those fools who say Mephala worship is a gender. Its clearly an ethos!

A: I am not saying he has done nothing to warrant a cancelling. I know for a fact that he once dated a man of the sign of The Steed, which given his own sign of the Lady is deeply suspicious... but Vivec is right. His popularity greatly outweighs our own. Who would listen?

S: We would only need to be clever about it. Voryn Dagoth is a principled man-- if we were to provide him evidence in the form of an anonymous message that, say, our Nerevar believed those of Dwemeri descent reserve the right to call themselves shield-bearers...

V: Voryn Dagoth! Voryn believes Lorkhan worshipers are not more oppressed than those of the Good Daedra, he's as likely to be cancelled himself.

A: Another astute point, Vivec. Have we considered what would happen if Nerevar tried to cancel us in turn? What if, Sil, he were to discover your Velotheddit account? Are you prepared to defend your opinions on Azura to the public?

V: Sehts opinions are rooted in trauma, even Nerevar wouldn't dare.

S: Unlike you both, I would gladly defend my controversial opinions to the public. The force of logic is on my side.

A: And this is why I counsel Nerevar on public opinion, not you! Cancellation has nothing to do with logic nor evidence-- it is about appeals to emotion and the use of correct terminology to win the peoples hearts. Unfortunately, Nerevar is masterful at this.

V: ... And yet, he DOES listen to our counsel.

S: Vivec, have you an idea?

V: Nerevar heeds our advice on what the people believe, yes? We may not even need to cancel him-- let him cancel himself!

A: Oh?

V: What if we could convince him to espouse a belief in public that would have the people turn on him? We would not even need to prove it!

S: My friend, you have the subtlety of the Webspinner herself!

A: It *could* work. He is due to address Mournhold tomorrow. But what would we have him say?

V: I know just the thing...

[THE NEXT DAY, MIDDAY, UPON THE PALACE COURTYARD, OVERLOOKING A GREAT CROWD]

NEREVAR: My dear friends, my beloved people of Veloth! I am delighted to welcome you to the festivities today. But let me begin this address with a revelation I have had of late. In our bounteous nation, there is no point in us fighting each other. I believe we all must set aside our differences, and learn to find the middle ground of our dissenting opinions--

[safedistancefrombeingsmart]

Hey there, this is re for anon who wrote about AA and RB's terfines. I'm glad somebody finally brought this up here. I'm honestly convinced you're giving Rachel too much benefit of the doubt and many of Martin's fans have been doing so for a while, so many of them very vocally supporters of trans people and some are trans themselves and seem to ignore Rachel's 'leanings' towards that.

Rachel seems to be, or at least was until the most recent deletion of her IG account, arguably very non bothered by presenting as 'gender critical'. In addition to the 'rumors' about her likes on Twitter (they weren't rumors - I was around before she cleared her tracks on Twitter and they were *blatant*. I'm trying to remember who had screenshots) , up until a few weeks ago she was following, for at least a year and even longer, accounts by terf "thought leaders" and reporters like Debra W. Soh (she no longer does, but she did a few weeks ago), Katie Herzog (still on her follow list) and AT LEAST another two French female 'gender critical' journalists whose names I don't remember but were very clearly and loudly TERF to the point of putting it in their bios. I would look every once in a while to see if she unfollowed them or not over the last year or so, because I imagined she might want to at least pretend she doesn't condone these accounts in any way. As I said, she removed all follows but the Katie Herzog one just in the most recent deletion. Which suddenly makes sense to me with all those recent different postings since she reopened the account. They're different from the older posts and it feels like she's gearing up or aiming for a different kind of attention, maybe she's hoping for modeling or acting roles. It's definitely a 'scrubbed' account this time. A feature film she wrote finished production so maybe she had actual PR remove her follow list and remove Debra Soh and the French journalists. I don't see a point saying 'she's still young'. She's in her 30s (was in her late 20s back then) and doesn't come off as stupid or not socially unaware, I'm sure she's aware that terf discourse is problematic. Maybe she honestly doesn't care. Doesn't bode well for Martin's opinions in that sense, which is why I've been distant from MF's fandom for a while, especially the 'forgiving' Rachel discourse. She comes of as far more problematic than we even realize. She's his partner and he's welcome to it, I'm convinced he's aware and doesn't care - but I do.

You see, this here ↑ is the reason why I was a bit reluctant to answer yesterday's post, why I didn't tag it. Because I knew it would attract more of ... this. I've thought long and hard about what I would write and if I even should answer at all. But you certainly made an effort and deserve an answer.

Clearly, transphobia is a huge problem and should never be ignored. That much I know. You clearly know much more about the topic. I honestly don't know any of the names you stated above. But then again, it's also not my agenda to unmask every terf on this planet. If that is yours- great. Everybody needs a purpose in life. 😉 But I don't have the time or the energy or the wish to check who follows who on twitter /Instagram and who likes what. That's not what I do and that's not something you will find on this blog.

And yes, I do give Rachel the benefit of the doubt. Does that make me naive and possibly even ignorant? Maybe. But I am also not a fan of Rachel- I am fan of Martin (which should be quite obvious xD). And Rachel happens to be a part of Martin's life. But like I wrote yesterday: people are not defined by their partner's opinion.

That's all I will say about this topic on this blog.

Just one more thing (even tho it should be obvious): I don't support any form of transphobia.

PS: I answered both your asks in one post. There really is no point to make another post about it. The answer would have been the same.

[trippingontheescalator]

I qualify as a fandom elder, I think. I read the second book first when it first came out in 1998 when I was in middle school and then just had to find the first book and read it too.

Some of these questions I don't think I'll be able to answer, since I only ever saw the first movie and kind of hated it. Nothing against Alan Rickman (loved him in almost everything else he did) or any of the other actors, but the movie just never really lived up to the magical world in my head, so I never bothered with watching the other films.

And so, with that--

As far as I'm aware, Snape has always been one of the most popular characters in the series, even before Rickman. These books were coming out in the late 1990s/early 2000s and edginess reigned supreme, grunge was still in, hot topic was the place to be in the mall, and so here comes Severus Snape-- dark, sinister, maybe a vampire, and delightfully sarcastic but also he was trying to save his life during the entirety of book 1! He's just a misunderstood vampire :( Lol, seriously, a large number of fans were 100% convinced he was a vampire, and that made him hot.

That's not to say there weren't people who disliked Snape, but fandoms in and of themselves operated differently. A03 didn't exist, most forms of social media didn't exist except for Livejournal and MySpace, fanfiction.net was in its infancy. If you wanted fanfics, you had to really search for these mom-and-pop websites that might host like 50 fics. And so, you had a favorite character and you went and you found a forum and a website that was basically dedicated to said favorite character and it was very enclosed. With Tiktok and other platforms, a fanon interpretation like "Snape is an incel" can spread very quickly like a virus. And I say virus because I've noticed some troubling trends in fandoms recently.

In the late 90s/early 2000s no one really cared that Snape picked on Harry and Neville, in part because that kind of treatment was just par for the course, but also because no one expected characters to act morally good. This was the late 90s when every character had to be EDGY. They had to wear black leather, and be a little mean, and have a tragic backstory. We didn't have words like "problematic." On the one hand, I am glad that more kids and teens are more aware of social issues and are examining biases that might be hidden in media and not just consume it unthinkingly. But on the other hand a kind of social puritanism is on the rise. Everything must be Pure and Good and if you like a problematic character then you must be Morally Reprehensible, just like the Reverend Praise-God Barebones proclaimed.

As for the "3 year gap" issue between GoF and OotP, I honestly think Rowling had no real intention of writing anything past Philosopher's Stone. When the first book exploded in popularity, she then churned CS and PoA, saw that those were even more wildly popular, and then realized she didn't just have a bunch of kids books under her belt, she could actually turn this into something. GoF is actually the first turning point for not just Snape but the entire series, not OotP. There were 0 hints that Snape was ever a Death Eater in books 1-3, and in fact Quirrell -- WHO IS LITERALLY ATTACHED TO VOLDY AND SHOULD HAVE KNOWN -- even suggests that Snape isn't one when he says something to the effect of "He seems the type, but he's not" to Harry. But in GoF we start to see the changes from "a bunch of kids books" to "epic fantasy series with a coherent storyline" and it solidifies in OotP. Rowling probably took that break to not only hammer out Snape's backstory and role, but also Voldemort's, and Harry's, and Dumbledore's, as well as to actually bring in more themes and motifs to her writing to give it depth. She probably came up with the horcrux idea at this time, and decided to retroactively make the diary one of those horcruxes (because really, if she had always intended for the diary to be a horcrux, why the hell would Lucius just chuck it at the Weasleys, Voldy entrusted it to him, it doesn't make sense). Same with Harry's scar.

As for "James wasn't supposed to be a bully, Rowling just did that because of Rickman's popularity" Like you said, the story of Snape nearly getting eaten by Lupin was in PoA. I think originally Rowling probably intended for the James-Severus feud to be an actual rivalry like Dumbledore stated it was in the first book. A book she probably didn't think would ever be that popular and probably never planned for a sequel. But when it did, I think she decided to make James a bully not because of Rickman's popularity but to tell a specific story: I think she wanted to turn the trope of "saintly dead parents" that all junior lit heroes have on its head. It's about Harry's character development, not Snape's, and as a way to subvert the reader's expectations. Throughout the series, Harry is compared to his father, well what if Harry sees his father as someone he DOESN'T want to be like? That's interesting character development! And Rowling does love her twists, even if she doesn't always implement them very well (see: Snape's relationship with Lily, come on other than one comment from Petunia there's never even a hint. You'd think Sirius would taunt him with Lily's loss of friendship just to piss him off or something but nooo...)

a ramble and some open questions for fandom elders (and others) about whether Snape was only made more sympathetic on account of Alan Rickman's popularity/casting, and similar things

so I stopped engaging with a tiktok creator for a while who I'd previously found very interesting because nearly every time they brought up Snape, they'd throw in some casual "if Harry was a girl, Snape would be really creepy/predatory about it" or some other weird Snape take not rooted in anything (to my mind). Like, it was weird to me because they bring in book quotes or pottermore/interview snippets to other analyses of other characters and ideas, but never Snape - for Snape, it was always just about vibes and feelings. For Snape, the fact we never hear that he killed someone or the fact we never heard that he stalked Lily is, in fact, strong evidence that he did do those things - or certainly thought about it - and certainly enough to be considered predatory and likely to dose Lily (and later a hypothetical Harriet) with a love potion or keep them in his basement, or something.

I disputed that idea in the comments one time, and some Snape supporting comments outside of mine got removed and users blocked, meanwhile my comments were (I think deliberately) misinterpreted. I stopped using tiktok entirely for a while, and never went back to see if the comments got deleted or whatever. Tiktok never gave me any further notifications about it upon re-downloading, so I guess they were removed? Idk. I have no desire to check.

but all of that is background really; she's lately posted some videos (I still find the rest of her content interesting, but apparently snape content is a no-go lool) saying that Snape's whole characterisation is different after the 'three year summer' - that is, that JKR saw how popular Snape was in the films, that she had to find a way to keep Alan Rickman on board when he wanted to leave, and that when she took her break between writing GoF and OotP I think, Snape sort of morphed into a new character and she had to attempt to redeem him (which, in her eyes, he's not redeemed even at the end which is like. ok). She implied that there's no evidence of James' bullying prior to OotP, no evidence of Snape ever having had a relationship (much less a friendship) with Lily, and that all of that was tossed into the later books retroactively to 'redeem' his character. (Obviously, I have Thoughts on that, which I'll come back to).

Of course, with the sort of... bad vibes she's built up around pro-Snape comments on her videos, all of the comments were in agreement with her. I'm also new to HP/Snape in terms of actively engaging with the fandom online, as it somehow passed me by at the time. But now I have Thoughts

So with all of that in mind, and just because I want to hear other people's thoughts but TikTok comments are a nightmare on their own with the character limit, inability to read them properly/in order, and general vibe of TikTok comments (even without the creator deleting/getting antsy about pro-Snape ideas), if anyone wants to discuss this lot, I am keen to hear people's thoughts:

Was Snape always a popular book character, or did that change/skyrocket with Alan Rickman? (For my part, I don't remember hating Snape when I read the books the first time around - in fact, I hardly remember registering him at all - but I do remember hating Umbridge).

How true is it that Snape was made 'more sympathetic' following the films? To me, it doesn't make sense; the first big, weighty suggestion of the marauders bullying Snape was in PoA, which was released mid-1999; the first evidence that Snape was spying was in GoF, in mid-2000. The first film didn't even come out (Alan Rickman's charisma included) until 2001. Weirdly, the PoA stuff the user is convinced just says that Snape was jealous of James (probably true, not denying it) but in the exact same book Remus/Sirius all but admitted to Sirius trying to kill Snape, which seems like a massive overreaction to Snape being an annoying little hater of a teen that she never comments on because, I guess, Snape deserved it?

Also, does it matter if he was made 'more sympathetic'? ootp was published in 2003, and in early 2002 Alan considered leaving. sure, JK might have added/exaggerated SWM to make him more sympathetic, but the reasons for adding in scenes don't change the fact that that's now part of the fabric of the character - a character who, by this point, had already been revealed in PoA to be the subject of a near-murder plot at the hands of the Marauders and was Very Not Okay about it; the marauders had already been described as troublemakers; Snape was already shown to be wary of Lupin for reasons that weren't solely about him being a werewolf, but about the Prank/Trick/Willow incident. An incident, much like SWM, that occurred because Sirius thought it would be "amusing" to put Snape in a horrible position. if JKR wanted to, she could've made Sirius the ringleader in SWM - but for Snape, I think she just wanted to solidify why a grown man hates a child who looks exactly like his father, which was also referenced in the early books and strongly prefaced by the events of PoA in the Shack (I don't think she had it 'all planned out' from day dot, however, but went with the vibes and fleshed out the details later). Obviously, to this creator, Lupin's idea that Snape was solely a little bitch because he hated that James was better at Quidditch is to be taken at face value, despite the fact the conversation then moves on to Snape's near-death following Sirius 'trick'ing Snape into the willow

Same as above but with his characterisation; she acknowledges that the later books are darker and have a more adult tone, but somehow it's still suspicious that Snape's sympathetic backstory was never once alluded to in earlier books (which, again, I think it's fair to say it was alluded to, but in sufficiently lacking detail so that JK could deal with it when she got there). Also with PoA and GoF especially, there are hints of Snape going from his more 'silly evil teacher' which he kind of was in books 1 and 2, heading towards the more realistic, but still delightfully bitter and flawed, adult character as the books aged up. I haven't read the books in a while I'll admit, but from the Snape passages I have read, I never noticed a sufficient difference pre or post three-year-summer that didn't match the wider tone of the books changing also.

Unlike the tiktok creator, I also think that Snape's reaction to Harry in general is almost entirely to do with James, rather than Lily's so-called rejection, and so there's no evidence that Snape would be weird to a 'Harriet' that resembled his mother, or weird to Lily if he saw her again; I think with his characterisation it's more likely that Harriet would've been treated like Hermione, Ron, or Tonks - being largely ignored with the occasional insult and told off for causing trouble - aka, how Snape would treat most people. Outside of the one isolated 'mudblood' incident, Snape was a bit of a doormat when it came to Lily (bless his heart). He followed her from the train carriage without comment, backtracked when she appeared angry in the post-prank conversation, even the "I won't let you" seemed more "I won't let you turn him into some kind of hero" or even, at a stretch, an "I won't let you be with him" out of Lily's own safety or something than "I won't let you leave me", to me - because he did just let her leave him in school? James and Snape continued hexing one another in 7th year, but there's no suggestion that Snape ever tried to be weird to Lily.

To my mind, there's no suggestion that Snape stalked Lily, no suggestion that he asked Voldemort to capture her - just to spare her. And then Snape went to Dumbledore anyway, probably immediately based on how harried he is on the windy hilltop scene, because he knew Voldemort wouldn't spare her, and even if he did, Snape would probably have to keep up the ruse of 'desiring' Lily, and do the sorts of thing Snaters suggest he wanted to do, just to keep her alive. But with Dumbledore involved, Snape wouldn't ever have the chance to imprison/love potion her - and that wasn't what he wanted. He just wanted her alive so he wouldn't have played a part in her death. I also doubt that Snape had much time to think when Voldemort revealed who he was choosing to kill; it's not as though Voldemort makes decisions by committee. He'd have revealed his plans and Snape would make a quick, panic-stricken decision to tell Voldemort that he desired Lily (which he may have done, to an extent; he'd need to draw on something to back up his request when Voldemort undoubtedly looked into his mind to see why Snape wanted to spare his Priority #1 victim). And like I say, he then set up a meeting with Dumbledore, probably immediately/as soon as he could, sensing that that wouldn't work (was he not convincing enough? Did he just know Voldemort too well? I have so many questions about how that conversation went down, and subsequent conversations about Lily which presumably occurred after V's resurrection).

anyway, no conclusion, only thoughts too rambly for tiktok comments

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #111

(taken february 6th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? I tried alcohol the first time because Mom offered me something she correctly assumed I'd like the taste of. I was either a pre-teen or young teenager. I've never tried any other sort of drug.

If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy motel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free? I'm staying in the car. Probably. I'd be kinda hesitant to if I was all alone.

How long until your next birthday? My birthday was literally yesterday, so a very long time.

When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? A couple days back in a piece of chocolate.

What’s the last song you heard? A slowed/reverbed version of "Teeth" by 5SOS.

When you say you love someone, do you mean it? Fuck yes I do.

Have you held hands with anyone lately? A lot with Girt 'cuz he spent the weekend with me and we hold hands a lot on the couch and even when we sleep.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes; I don't see my dad a lot, but he's still in my life and reminds me all the time that if I need something, tell him.

Do you have drama in your life? Not really.

Do you actually think it’s gross to talk about body functions? No; they're universally shared experiences and I think it's honestly dangerous to make talking about "gross" stuff seem like, taboo almost. Now yes, there are INSTANCES where it's not appropriate, but is it gross/wrong to do in general? Absolutely not. I probably sound kinda hypocritical cuz I REALLY don't like talking about sex as it pertains to me, but that is JUST for me. It's not because I think it's gross and stuff, it's just private. I couldn't care less if other people talk about their sex lives though.

Would you rather sleep alone or next to your SO? Next to Girt.

Have you ever sent a love letter? Pretty much, yeah.

Have you dated someone of another race? Yes. 100% pro interracial relationships so it was never an issue I held with Juan; it was other, personality-related things that had no correlation to his race that were problematic.

What’s the best compliment you’ve gotten from a boss/teacher? I'm honestly not sure, but in total modesty and honesty I definitely got a lot of very high praises because I was just a good student.

What’s a weird or interesting nickname you gave someone? Uhhhh let's see... I'm actually not sure...? I'm sure there's SOMETHING, especially from childhood, but I'm blanking atm.

Is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? In my head, anyway. Sometimes I will focus very heavily on the ideology - not necessarily quote, it varies - that I can and WILL get through whatever is going on. Back in the day I was an "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" person (I distinctly remember chanting this once when I had to take a freezing cold shower 😭), but it's since fallen in line with the remix of "I can do all things through me who strengthens me," something I very sincerely believe in and HEAVILY encourage people to remember with themselves, too.

What are you most envious of? Mentally well and rich people. People who are financially set for the rest of their fucking lives by simply existing.

Do you have a friend with a habit that worries you? Girt is very convinced he needs to lose a bit more weight when he ABSOLUTELY does not, and he can get defensive about it if you try to discourage him from this goal. I know he has self-confidence/image issues, and I hate it for him so much.

When you walk into your best friend’s room, what do you smell? I still haven't seen Girt's room. 🙃

Have you ever purposely broken something that belonged to a sibling? I have zero memory of ever doing that and it absolutely does not sound like something I would've even considered doing.

Do you like to visit famous people’s homes? Bitch there ain't no famous people 'round here lmfao

Has anyone ever baked you cookies? I mean, my mother, haha.

What’s the lamest present you’ve ever given? I don't know. I'm told by pretty much anyone I've ever given a gift to that I give super thoughtful gifts and I definitely try to do so. I cannot fucking wait until I have a source of income so I can more regularly give my loved ones gifts...

If your SO agreed, would you want an open relationship? Absolutely not. We're either having a loyal, monogamous relationship or we're not having anything at all.

Have you ever slept with three people in the same bed? When? Why? I can just about promise I have as a kid at sleepovers and stuff.

Who would you like to slow dance with? To what song? Hehe Girt. There's a great array of songs that I would slowdance to with him.

What’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? Girt most regularly calls me "hunny" and I think it's really cute.

If you could talk to one species of animal what would it be? Oh my god, THAT is impossibly hard. I'm sure every animal would value and focus on different things, so I'd really have to think on this, I really would. I will say it'd be VERY cool to see with absolutely certainty JUST how alike we are at heart to apes by conversing with one.

What’s the largest animal you’ve ever seen in person? An orca at SeaWorld (would never go again; I was a young child).

Would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? I sure would, if I knew how to do it properly.

If you came with a warning label, what would it say? "I'm going to be awkward and uncomfortable and I'm so sorry" or something like that lmfao

Did you ever show up late for an important event? Not to my recollection.

What was the last strong scent you smelled? HA Girt's feet yesterday.

What was the last thing you took a picture of? The flowers Girt got me for my birthday.

How did you discover your favorite band? Ozzy: heard his music growing up thanks to my parents. Rammstein: I knew OF them somehow in high school, I can't remember the precise origin, and then I heard my first song by them via a Guitar Hero game.

Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? Yes; I am considerably more likely to at least feel EVER so slightly more "down" if it's super cloudy and/or rainy. I used to LIVE for dark and gloomy conditions, including lighting in my own house, but I realized years ago that I very much benefit from being in brighter settings. Hot and/or humid weather also has a notable effect on me, that being that I become fucking miserable and irritable if I have to be in it.

When are you most likely to be bored? Eh, maybe like, late afternoon/early evening. That's not always the case, though.

What was the last big decision you made? This isn't gonna SOUND like a big decision, but it was to me: I finally added Girt's sister on Facebook. He was recently tagged in a picture with me so Ashley saw it and commented, and I felt like now that her Facebook presence was directly in my face (I already knew she had one, but you get it), it'd look rude to NOT reach out. And don't get me wrong, I've wanted to, I LOVE Ashley a whole lot, I've just been nervous from the start that she and ESPECIALLY their mother would come to hate me via Facebook because I am very open about what I believe in and support, and like her mother, Ashley is religious (though not to the extreme extent of Shelia, it looks like), and I just don't want to start shit when I inevitably share some anti-religion meme or something. I really, really want his family to continue loving me, but I'm also not about to pretend I'm someone I'm not on my own goddamn social media account. Guess we'll just see how everything goes.

Where was the last place you traveled to, and what did you do while there? Uh I guess Lake Gaston in Virginia; I want to say the last time Mom and I drove up there it was either for Aubree's birthday party, or... something else? I don't remember. Maybe Nick and Ashley's anniversary (they got married there).

What is one of your wildest dreams or ambitions? To be a very successful nature/wildlife/landscape photographer, maybe have something published in National Geographic.

What was the subject of your last phone conversation? Dad called on my birthday just checking up on things.

Name five things you can grab from where you’re sitting. A cup, my phone, my planner, the squishmallow Christmas fox Girt randomly got me, and my purse.

So, are you looking forward to being out on your own? (And if you’re already out on your own, how do you like it?) I never want to live purely on my own, but I honestly am very ready for Girt and I to have a place together. I'm gonna be VERY nervous to leave Mom, but I have to one of these days, and when Mom was in Tennessee and it WAS just us two, I fucking loved it. I went full stereotypical wife mode and actually felt useful. I know I was more productive and just acting more like an adult, at least slightly.

Would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? If I wanted a child, no. I have absolutely nothing against it for other people, but for myself? I just couldn't, I would feel WAY too weird growing the child of someone I didn't really know, when a massive part of the appeal of raising a kid *for me* is creating a little life between you and the person you're in love with.

When you like someone, and they don’t know about it, are you the type who wants to tell them, or them to make a move first? I may WANT to tell them, but I'm definitely the type that *prefers* them to make the first move.

Name a new friend you’ve made this year. Shelby. (: Well, I think we actually started talking in December, but close enough.

Have you ever known anyone that’s gone missing? Ummm I don't think so.

What game is in your game system right now? The PS2 has Silent Hill 2 in it, and the PS4 has Spyro the Dragon: Reignited Trilogy in it because Girt and I played it today!! :') I was losing my FUCKING mind, I love it so much.

Do you live near a pet store? Yes, a PetSmart. The mall that is also right by our house might still have a Petco, but I feel like it closed...

Who was the last person other than family to tell you that they love you? My boyfren. :') Well or maybe someone on Facebook in birthday message, I just don't feel like checking.

Have you ever been told that you resemble an animal or insect? No, that'd be offensive lmao

How many people have you kissed in the last month? Just Girt romantically.

What was the last picture you uploaded? Uhhhh I think it was a picture I took with my sisters that I posted in an Instagram story.

Is your about me long and detailed, or short and to the point? God I used to be SO bad about long intros haha, now I try to keep 'em pretty short wherever I have them.

What is your favorite type of cola? Just regular Coke.

Who did you spend your last birthday with? My birthday itself, just Mom, Girt, and Tobey for a lil while, however the family celebration was the day before, which I spent with Mom, Girt, my two sisters, my younger sister's boyfriend, Girt's mom, as well as Girt's nephew. His sister was also going to come, but she injured her foot and wanted to stay off of it.

Do you like apple soda? I've tried apple-flavored carbonated water and it was disgusting, honestly. Surprised me, because I usually LOVE apple-flavored anything.

What was the last thing that shocked you? Something Girt told me today that I just wasn't expecting, but it's private so I'ma just leave it at that. It was a good surprise though, haha.

How lonely are you right now? Not at all right now, actually! I had a good, busy weekend and am perfectly content having some me time.

What accent do you find most difficult to understand? Extremely heavy southern ones. Even when I live in an area where that's not at all rare, I still struggle understanding a lot of people around here.

Has your music taste changed over the years? From childhood, yes, but not very much since middle school-ish. Once I got into hard rock and metal, that's been my thing since. As a kid though, I liked your average pop hits as well as country music. I know, astonishing.

Have you ever practiced kissing on a stuffed animal? Nah.

Do you think the end of the world is near? Who knows. A gamma ray burst could melt us tomorrow. Or one may not hit the planet for a million years. It's not something I worry about nowadays.

Who makes you feel like you’re worth something? More than absolutely anyone, Mom and Girt do very regularly. But I'm lucky there are a number of people who do that.

How many pets is too many? This strictly depends on how many you are capable of properly, adequately providing for. There is no strict number. Different kinds of pets require different amounts of materials, care, etc., and the amount of time available to be invested in the care of these pets ALSO varies with every single person. As soon as you cannot manage to give your pet the care it absolutely needs (I'm not talking about all the rare luxuries), you have too many.

Do you know who your bridesmaid/best man will be? It's going to be my mom. I have no questions about this.

What is the best song by your favorite artist/band? I've answered with my *favorite* songs in the past, so for this, I'ma go for strictly what I think is the artist's best piece of musical art, like the ones that leave the strongest mark. For Rammstein's, it's absolutely "Stein um Stein (Stone by Stone)" imo, it's a FUCKING masterpiece. I think Ozzy's iiiiis... most likely "See You On the Other Side," but I also am VERY fond of "Ordinary Man" because that song is just him, it just tells his story and who he is beautifully. MAN I wanna list more of his, I just think he's a stupendous songwriter and has written such incredible pieces of music. In recent news I am so sad (but completely understand why) he's officially quit touring because of his health, I'm just waiting in absolute dread for the news to hit that he's passed away alskdjfalkwjekljraoiwejroieroeiraoisdjfalksdf I am going to shatter

How many times did your phone ring today? Three times; first Tobey called for Mom (her phone is being a total shit), then Dad called while she was talking to Tobey so I called him back and he didn't answer, THEN he called me back.

What theme do you want for your wedding? I want it to be gothic-y, very likely with a black and gold color scheme.

Do you have any of your future children’s names picked out? The Onion semi-recently posted one of their satire stories about a woman not wanting kids but having the overwhelming urge to still name humans and I was like............ same, bc I know EXACTLY what I want to name all potential children even though I very much doubt they'll ever exist lmfao

Would you ever date someone over the internet? I don't THINK I would again, but I wouldn't say absolutely not.

[ihearthes]

A list of “problematic” things about Harry Edward Styles

His voice is smooth and sexy and heartwarming

He’s got that smirk 😏

He laughs too much, creating eye crinkles

The left dimple!

He’s loyal to his friends like Jeffrey and Nick

He dances goofy (although he’s learning to be a proper dancer which is problematic on its own because soon we won’t be able to make fun of his noodly dances)

His songwriting skills are continually improving

Even his fucking armpits are perfect

He’s too popular and we should have done some massive gatekeeping ages ago

He tells stupid jokes and makes people laugh anyway

Essentially, as @huccimermaidshirts said, “World domination by handsomeness and pure talent”. So problematic! Everyone should find someone else to stan!

[carlosfruitsnacks]

a camilo x reader song fic with taylor swift's "The Story Of Us" 🫶

"the story of us"

summary:

— Falling apart and breaking up, you and Camilo meet again at a party after a few years. The two of you were fighting to ignore each other, pretending to not care. So, is this how the story of you and Camilo ends?

genre:

— songfic & modern au

notes:

— gender-neutral reader. I do not speak fluent Spanish and all of the Spanish here is translated from google, feel free to correct me.

warning/s:

— mild cussing

a/n:

— kinda late but i hope you enjoy anon!

No matter how thick your clothing was, it never seemed to protect you from the shiver you felt during this weather. Today seemed colder than ever. You trudged to your kitchen to fix a warm drink before grabbing your phone and settling down. While scrolling down social media, a phone call interrupts you. With a raised brow, you answered the call.

"[Name]!!!"

"Hey, [Friend's Name]. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you're free tonight?"

Your friend on the other line asked, you hummed for a moment, thinking. Your schedule for later wasn't hectic, but you wonder why your friend wants to know.

"I think so, why?"

"Do you wanna tag along at this party?"

"It depends..."

"Come on! It's going to be fun! I'll guarantee it"

"Fine, but you owe me"

"Sure, sure, whatever. Catch you later byeeeee!"

You chuckled as your friend hangs up. It's silly how you can't say no to your friend. Parties may not be your strongest suit but it's not always that bad, it's not like you hate parties, most of them are great if the people there aren't problematic. You shrug to yourself, one little party wouldn't hurt, right?

You decided to finish all of your chores before preparing your outfit for tonight's party. Nothing too flashy or bland, just something you're comfortable with. Eventually, you texted your friend and as the evening arrives, they went to pick you up and take you to the party.

Upon arriving, you notice a large number of people present. Luckily, it wasn't too overwhelming as you went inside the place where the party was being held at. There were drinks, food, and music played by a band. It was like every typical party you've been to. You followed your friend around and talked for a while until the rest of your other friends showed up. You had fun with your friend group, convinced that this was going to be a good night.

All of a sudden, you whip your head around to see a familiar set of hazel eyes. You nearly dropped the drink in your hand when you realized whose eyes were that. You blinked several times, wishing it to be only your imagination. But to your dismay, it was real. Curly brown hair, sunkissed skin, and a laugh that used to bring butterflies to your stomach. There was no mistaking it.

"Holy shit...is that Camilo?"

One of your friends pointed out. Your throat goes dry at the sound of his name. Quickly, your mood changes, and you no longer wanted to stay here. You frowned at your friend.

"You didn't tell me that he's going to be here?!"

"We didn't know, [Name]!"

Your friends explained. You glared at them and at Camilo, who was across the room, laughing with a bunch of people. You groaned.

"I'm leaving"

"Oh come on! We know whatever happened between you two was nasty but you moved on, right? He shouldn't be having any effect on you, [Name]"

"Ugh, you don't know what it feels like to be in the same room with your ex"

You told them before walking away, your friends called for you but you ignored them. You stopped at the corner of the room, trying to calm yourself down but Camilo decides to stroll by and accidentally meet your eyes. He looked horrified that he recognized who you are, you freeze on your spot. How did it get this way?

"I don't feel like this is working at all, [Name]"

A younger version of Camilo told you. With furrowed brows, you walked over to him and grabbed his arms.

"What do you mean, Camilo?"

"Lo siento, but I think we should end this"

You gasped, and tears immediately began welling up in your eyes. After so many years of being together, all the laughing, crying, hugging, and kissing. Now, it's coming to an end. You can no longer see the sparks in his eyes when he first met you.

"No, you wouldn't do this!"

"I can't be like this with you anymore, [Name]"

"What? You're unhappy being with me?"

"No, I do feel happy when I'm with you but I'm afraid it won't last long and I don't want to see where that goes"

"When you got jealous while I was with other people, did I get angry?"

You bring it up and it causes Camilo to frown at you. He denies it but you point a finger at him, telling him all his flaws. It makes him mad as he does the same until it turns into a nasty fight, with him storming out of the door and you not realizing the tears rolling down your cheeks.

"You know what, I'm glad we're finally ending this, Camilo!"

"The feeling's mutual, I finally don't get to deal with your shitty attitude"

"Same here asshole!"

"¡Adiós para siempre!"

He slams the door in front of you and it goes quiet. It takes a minute for you to fully break down on your knees, crying and hiccuping. You replay the fight over and over in your head, sending needles to prick your heart knowing the love of your life is no longer there to hold you in his arms. It was over, and it was the truth you had to carry with you through the rest of the years.

You gulped. You recalled the fight you had with him after many years of burying it at the back of your mind, you sniffed and broke eye contact with him. You find another place to stay away from him, you feel your pride swell in you as you decided to not acknowledge him at all.

Camilo was baffled to see you at the party, he too remembers the dispute you two shared before officially falling apart. A nasty feeling forms at the back of his throat as he walks away, ignoring you from the corner of his eye. The two of you fought a silent battle, to ignore each other, to act not to care.

As much as you looked coldly on the exterior, on the inside, it's killing you. You send a glare to Camilo, who's doing good at acting like you don't exist. You feel alone standing in a crowded room. Truthfully, you wanted to tell him how you missed him, but you didn't know how. You weren't mad anymore, just sad. You fidged at your clothes, secretly glancing at Camilo, hoping he'd look your way again but he doesn't.

It fucking sucked feeling this way, you felt so hopeless. When you thought you had to suffer longer, your eyes caught the band on stage, an idea lights up in your mind as you make your way to it. With a little courage, you managed to persuade the band to play a tune for you to sing along to. So, you walked on stage, hands shaking as you grabbed the microphone at the stand.

Drums kicked in followed by electric guitars, it was loud enough to catch everyone's attention at the party. They all gathered to listen closely to the lively music on stage. You inhaled.

"I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us. How we met, and the sparks flew instantly"

"People would say they're the lucky ones"

You began to sing. Your friends see you on the stage and cheered. As confidence filled you, it wavered when you noticed Camilo looking at you from the crowd.

"I used to know my place was a spot next to you. Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat"

"'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on"

Camilo was surprised to hear you singing, but he doesn't complain about it. Instead, he sticks around to listen to you more.

"Oh, a simple complication. Miscommunications lead to fall out"

"So many things that I wish you knew. So many walls up, I can't break through"

You pushed yourself to sing louder, wishing you delivered the line right for your ex in the crowd to understand.

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room. And we're not speaking"

"And I'm dying to know. Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah"

The people around him danced along to you singing the chorus, having a great time. Camilo was conflicted if he should too but he's thinking about what you're singing about.

"I don't know what to say. Since a twist of fate, when it all broke down"

"And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now"

"Next Chapter"

You find yourself loosening up and dancing along with the music, slightly distracting you from Camilo's intense gaze on you.

"How'd we end up this way? See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy"

"And you're doing your best to avoid me"

He listens to you sing the second verse, his face was impassive but internally, he's affected by you and what you just said that's clearly about him.

"I'm starting to think, one day, I'll tell the story of us. How I was losing my mind when I saw you here"

"But you held your pride like you should've held me"

Your voice was filled with sincere emotion as your eyes landed on Camilo's, hurting and hoping at the same time.

"Oh, I'm scared to see the ending. Why are we pretending this is nothing?"

"I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how. I never heard silence quite this loud"

The people were quick to dismiss what the song meant but it hits him in the face in so many ways. It hurt more than a slap, Camilo thought if this was your way of getting revenge on him for hurting you long ago.

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room. And we're not speaking"

"And I'm dying to know. Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah"

You confidently sing the chorus, smiling a little at the sight of the audience cheering and dancing along to the beat. But your eyes were fixated on your ex who was pursing his lips, you prayed he won't leave midway through the song.

"I don't know what to say. Since a twist of fate, when it all broke down"

"And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now"

The guitar solo kicks in, it slowly reaches the bridge of the song and still, Camilo doesn't know what to say. He's distracted by the shimmer in your eyes, the tiny smile on your lips, and how he wanted to hold you again.

"This is looking like a contest. Of who can act like they care less"

"But I liked it better when you were on my side"

Your voice comes out softly, the melody was gentle as you try to convey what you truly feel through your singing. There was no stopping what you started.

"The battle's in your hands now. But I would lay my armor down"

"If you say you'd rather love than fight"

Camilo can feel himself bursting with emotion. He does want to choose to love than fight, he's tired of pretending he doesn't care when he does. Yet something is still holding him back.

"So many things that you wish I knew. But the story of us might be ending soon"

You feel your chest tighten for a moment, you didn't want tonight to end. You don't want to leave and never see Camilo again. You reach the chorus again.

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room. And we're not speaking"

"And I'm dying to know. Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah"

He feels you pour your heart out on the song, and he smiles. Camilo missed you but he's afraid that he'll ruin everything and hurt you again. He holds back his tears, feeling his emotions kill him.

"I don't know what to say. Since a twist of fate, when it all broke down"

"And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now"

You hit a high note and you hear everybody cheer and clap for you. But you didn't focus on getting all the glory, you only focused on the boy with hazel eyes you're still in love with.

"And we're not speaking"

"And I'm dying to know. Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah"

"I don't know what to say. Since a twist of fate, 'cause we're down"

"And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now"

It takes Camilo the entire song to realize he still loves you and that he wants you back. He doesn't want the story of you and him to end. But you bring your lips close to the mic.

"The end"

You said as the song ends. Shouting and clapping fill the room as you exit the stage. Your heart was beating fast as you caught your breath. It was amazing that you just did that. You wiped the sweat off your forehead when you hear footsteps approach backstage. Your heart leaps out of your chest when you see it was Camilo.

"[Name]..."

He says breathlessly and it merely brings you to your knees, how you missed hearing him say your name. Camilo takes the risk to come closer, you were just as beautiful as the day he met you. Your eyes couldn't believe it when you saw the same sparks in his eyes when you first saw him.

"Camilo..."

"[Name] I...I'm sorry. For being such a dick and leaving you that day. I'm sorry for also ignoring you here"

You were speechless at his sudden apology, and it tugs on your heartstrings. Swiftly, you pounce at him with an embrace. Camilo quickly reciprocates and holds unto you for dear life. He buries his face in the crook of your neck.

"I've missed you, Camilo"

"Me too, mi amor"

Your eyes go wet when he called you that, he hasn't called you that in years and hearing it again felt like coming back home. You pull away and Camilo grabs the sides of your face, softly.

"Can we start over again? Can this story not end yet?"

"Camilo, the story of us is...over"

He frowns, and disappointment spreads on his features until you smiled and went to rub your thumb on his cheek. Camilo looks at you, he couldn't be happier seeing the love in your eyes.

"But that doesn't mean it doesn't deserve a sequel"

taglist: @pochi-moochika , @cahmilo , @vanevafu , @irisia-ckzkb1109 , @elegantkidfansoul , @candykamikun , @justzei , @try-cry-why-try , @nanaisheretomessupthings , @eichenhouseproperty , @nort0616 , @megs2world ...join here

masterlist

[usedpidemo]

Distance (ITZY Yeji, Lia, & Ryujin)

“Oppa! You like the photos I sent you?”

Jisu’s cheery voice echoes through your earpods. Slide from FaceTime to your Messenger and find six new shots in your DMs. Of course you like the photos she messaged you. You were growing a little concerned with her diminishing weight and slimming figure. Such is the arduous idol lifestyle, but those worries have been dashed with her latest pics. She looks so good in Adidas, even though you’re more of a Nike person.

“Yeah, I have seen them. Looking amazing as always, love.”

Her features conjure a smile that you never grow tired of. Jisu loves hearing your compliments, even more than from her members. You beam in response. It’s been over a year since you last met in person, let alone dated. Curse this pandemic tearing a hole in your relationship. Video calls are decent, but you want to see her in the flesh — feel every touch, every word from her mouth against yours. You want her close. No. You want her right beside you.

“It’s been a while since we last saw each other.” Jisu’s jovial tone abruptly changes to a gloomy one. A reflection of the fact you try not to remind yourself. She pouts. This is clearly not your fault, but her expressions make it seem like you’re the problem. “When will you see me again, babe?”

Look at your surroundings. Tight and enclosed, but comfortable enough. “I honestly don’t know, but please know I still love you, right?”

Flash a reassuring smile. She does in return. Your words are conveyed sincerely to convince her you’re not up to something suspicious. “Of course, love.”

“You’re working really hard, Jisu. I hope you’re eating well, or else.” You swerve the topic from serious to lighthearted again. It works. Her laughter is all you need.

“Or else what?” She continues giggling through her mocking threat.

“Or else I’ll come over there and beat JYP so hard, he won’t know what hit him.”

You’d probably follow through on that remark, just because. Who knows what terrible things he’s done to Jisu and her members, and her weight is probably the least problematic of them. Perhaps she’s hiding other horrible experiences from you. From your shared conversations, it seems like everything’s all fine and dandy. For now.

“Look, it’s getting real late here, so I’m going to bed,” you say with a yawn at the end.

“Late? It’s only noon. Surely you have another hour at least.”

“I’m getting really exhausted, plus I have a busy work day tomorrow.”

“What is that noise in the background? I can hear something loud from your side.”

Oh no. She can’t find out exactly where you are. Airplanes are supposed to be quiet inside. Your seat in business class may be relaxing, but it doesn’t block out the crying baby four aisles away. Need to think of an alibi quickly.

“It’s just the...um...vacuum.”

“Vacuum? I thought you’re going to sleep.”

Terrible excuse. Come on, how dumb are you? Sure, automatic ones are a thing now, but those are expensive, even by your standards.

“I mean, it’s probably my toilet flushing again. I’ve been having plumbing problems.” Sounds more reasonable.

“Oh...well as long as you’re doing okay, I’m fine with it. Good night, love.” She smooches her screen, which you do as well. Too bad you’re lagging by at least five seconds. Airplane Wi-Fi isn’t the best.

“Good night, Jisu.”

———

Ten days of quarantine. Yet they feel like a year in prison. For Choi Jisu, it’s all worth it.

You’d rather just stay in the airplane, incessant infants included. At least they serve decent meals and have reclining seats that can be turned into makeshift beds, unlike the lodging you’re trapped in. Canned meals for more than a week. There’s no hot water in the showers. What kind of lodging is this?

Sometimes at night you’d hear loud thumps a few rooms away. Either that’s a ghost who likes isolation rooms, or that’s two people fucking. More likely the latter. The first three days were tolerable, but you can’t help yourself to think of Jisu. How you miss her, how you want her, and how much you want to show her love.

Your mind battles as to whether to call her or not. It’d be too obvious you’re in Korea, she probably knows this type of apartment. Would you ruin your surprise visit to her when you have a few days left of isolating?

Fuck it.

You decide not to open up FaceTime, instead calling her with your international sim. Ring three times. Nothing. Try again a fourth time. Then you’re greeted with a lengthy and soft moan.

“Oh, fuck...hello?”

Wait, what? This is clearly Jisu’s voice. There’s no way she’s being, you know? Not when you’re this close to seeing her again. Your heart palpitates with anxiety. It’s almost eleven in the evening when you called her. You’re filled with so much dread that your words escape. You don’t know what to say or do. Fifteen seconds of silence. Deafening silence.

Then she moans again. Louder than the initial one.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you’re so good…”

It’s like Jisu forgot she’s on call, which she is. Your thoughts bounce all over the place. Possibilities of cheating, masturbating, and even pranking; it’s all too much to bear. But you can’t bring yourself to hang up. Her soft, charming, inflect has you in a bind. Especially when she swears, it’s cute and warm. Perhaps the loud thumps from your neighbors was a sign of things to come.

Just when you’re about to open your mouth, she moans yet again.

“I miss you so much, oppa. Please fuck me like this, fuck…”

Blood starts gushing to your nether region. What a painful relief. At least she isn’t being railed by another person. Then it possesses you out of nowhere. The neediness. The arousal. The aching feeling of wanting to pound Jisu. Your hand instinctively travels to your crotch, slipping through your shorts. You can’t contain yourself any longer.

“Fuck.” A groan escapes your lips as your fingers begin stroking your own cock. Neither of you are aware you can hear the other pleasuring themselves.

Remembering the photos she sent you days before, your free hand reaches for the phone and slides between calls and messages. The image of Jisu in her training gear plus the thought of ripping them off is enough to up your pumping pace. It feels meant to be that you’re both rubbing to the other.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, fingers working harder to chase that high so desperately. Jisu’s moans motivate you, push you, to stroke harder and faster. It doesn’t help that you’ve been missing her for more than a year and you’re days away from seeing her in the flesh again. Patience is anything but a virtue to you now.

“Jisu, fuck, I miss you too.” You blurt out as your precum continues leaking. She can’t hear you, of course, she’s drowning in her own pleasure as much as you are.

The minutes pass until after what seems like an eternity, you finally peak. With a drawn out groan of Jisu’s name you release, unaware that you still have your shorts on. A very noticeable damp patch forms on your crotch, it’s substance sticky and slimy, but you’re not really going anywhere. From what you can hear, her pleasure is just as fulfilling. Her moan is only held back by what sounded like restraints in her mouth.

Your body falls back on the body, fully succumbing to the self-arousal you gave yourself. Deep breaths fill the room for the next few minutes. If this is just from a casual phone call, how much more when you finally reunite?

“Hello?” A voice echoes through your phone repeatedly. “Oppa?”

Your body is worn out and can’t move. You inch close to your phone, but not before you drop it from the table next to the mattress. No crack. Don’t care if it’s damaged anyway. You pick it up from the floor before laying back on the bed again.  There’s tiredness in your intonation. “Hello?”

“Oh! Oppa, I didn’t realize you were on call for 15 minutes!” Her shout catches your ear by surprise. Jisu must have realized her mistake. It’s not like you were bothered. In fact, you were enjoying it. “Sorry!”

“No, it’s fine, I was busy.” Which you were.

“Oh, um, why are you calling anyway? It’s late for me here!” she asks.

“I figured I might return the favor since you told me it was early for me to hang up.”

“Well, I have a busy schedule so I’m going to bed. Love you!” You hear a smooch after she finishes her sentence.

“Love you too, Jisu. Good night.” Then you finally hang up.

A deep sigh. Your want for Jisu keeps growing by the minute. The damp feeling in your shorts you cared little about. Only her. Just a few more days left.

———

Wearing some merch from your favorite group as well as a fedora, you look up and find your destination. The JYP building. Try not to cause any attention. You want your visit to be a complete surprise.

Inside the cafe you order some coffee. The taste isn’t too bad. Maybe this diet plan he’s been enforcing on his idols and trainees is actually a good idea. Nope. It’s still doesn’t change the fact he’s fucking JYP. You survey the area, scouting for cameras and guards, planning your way in. After gobbling a donut, you make sure the guards are positioned at the front entrance before sneaking out into the fire exit.

Up a few flights of stairs. Outside of knowledge from the internet and pics Jisu’s been sending you, you’re not really sure where you might be going. Fifth floor appears to be where your old friends are. Bang Chan and his members somehow recognize you through your disguise. Fuck.

“Aye, man! It’s been a while! I didn’t know you were in Korea—”

You gesture with your fingers, telling Chan to keep quiet. Thankfully he seems to have understood and returned to practice. Another flight of stairs. Nine pretty women are also practicing. None of them is Jisu though, so you cared very little. But you can’t help stare a bit while they dance. Suddenly you remember your roommate who’s a huge fan. Too bad you don’t have anything that they can sign.

Seventh floor. It looks mostly quiet and empty. Perhaps only two groups are in the building right now. As you approach one of the doors to a practice room, a force abruptly seizes you, causing you to jolt forward. A pair of hands pull you inside the room forcefully. The strength and sudden momentum causes you to crash on the floor, losing your hat in the process.

When your eyes regain full vision, there’s two figures you can recognize. Her members.

“Yeji? Ryujin?” you ask, trying to regain composure.

“Ohoho, we’ve been waiting for you,” Ryujin says with a smirk.

“Yeah, we knew you were coming.” Yeji adds, sharing an identical devilish grin.

Their eyes are filled with lust and hunger. You’re shocked. Did Jisu somehow know of your surprise visit? Then you remembered the phone call. It’s likely they overheard it. Oh no. But you’re also puzzled. There’s only two of them. So many questions are on your mind.

“How’d you know? Did she tell you?” you ask.

“She didn’t tell us anything. We saw you through the cameras and knew we’re in for a treat,” Yeji says. Both of them are standing tall above you. Try not to look at their exposed midriffs. Failed in less than five seconds. Fuck, they’re hot.

“I mean, come on. A fedora? Seriously? You’re such a dork.” Ryujin mocks your disguise. She’s not exactly wrong. “Perhaps Jisu really likes dorks.”

“Hey look, don’t even mind that. I just wanna know where Lia is—”

Yeji cuts you off by crashing her lips into yours. Her lipstick is a flavor you clearly recognize. Jisu’s favorite. It’s obvious that they knew you were coming in some way. As she sinks her tongue deeper into your mouth, her strength forces you down to the floor again. Even with someone else, they taste sweet and delicious. Your willpower quickly shrinks.

“Don’t worry about her, she’ll be here soon,” Yeji says with a devilish grin, breaking the kiss. “Why don’t we keep you occupied while we wait?”

“But what if she sees this—”

Another passionate smooch. Another interruption. They don’t give a fuck. While Yeji has you pinned on the ground, Ryujin pulls your pants off, tossing them across the room. Yeji’s slim body doesn’t obscure your raging erection held back by your boxers. Those quickly come off too, the cold air tingling your free cock.

“Oh, fuck, so this is what Jisu’s been hiding from us this whole time?” Ryujin says, dropping to her knees to cup your balls. “I should feel so bad that she won’t get it first, but I don’t.”

She continues to press your nuts, measuring the load reserved in them. Even after a quick rub from a few days ago, they’re just as full as they’ve ever been. You’ve been saving it for Jisu, but now her members have taken you by force and you’re powerless to do anything about it.

Both women lift their tops. Only their training bra remains. Those go quickly as well. Piles of garments fly all over the place until they’re completely naked, leaving nothing to your imagination. You swear your mouth started drooling at the sight of two hot women getting the jump on you. Are you going to forget Jisu just like that? It’s Hwang Yeji and Shin Ryujin, of course you would.

Their grubby hands run over your top, lifting your shirt and throwing it aside with theirs. Yeji is positioned to your left while Ryujin is on your right. Their eyes and features tell you everything. They’re burning up with unquenchable lust and greed for your body and they’re not going to share that. Not even with their own.

You groan and twitch as they lick up and down your shaft. A hand from both of them stroke you to heightened pleasure while their tongues dance and swirl around your tip, occasionally touching the other. Two rivers of saliva drip down your dick. You wish you could get a grasp, a touch, a clear hold of them, but the sensation leaves you paralyzed. All you can do is watch. And ogle you do, your own eyes feasting at the sight of two sexy idols hungrily sharing your cock.

As you gaze into their sloppy work, they stare back. Their eyes, full of lust, lure and hypnotize you. It’s like they want your approval — which is given by the deep groans leaving your breath. Their taste buds hit a sensitive spot, causing you to throw your head down on the floor. Pain is quickly superseded by pleasure. Yeji and Ryujin smirk, knowing they have you under their full control.

Their tongues leave your tip with an audible pop, much to your disappointment. It’s short lived as Ryujin crawls over your face, her plump ass hovering above your face. Yeji lines her slit with your dick, and you can feel yourself wanting to unload at the mere touch of her dripping cunt.

“Mm, you like this? Just relax.” Ryujin wiggles her bottom, teasing you even more. You wish you could get a hold of them, if not for her hands bolting yours rigidly to the hardwood.

Air once free is now sparse, thanks to Ryujin’s ass smothering your visage. You feel a sensation on your groin too — Yeji’s wet, pulsating pussy allowing your cock to enter freely. Such tight, overbearing restraints would be torture for anyone. But for you, it’s a sinful nirvana. Their bodies rock against yours in perfect synchronization, with the same timed movements of their usually frenetic choreography. Dance isn’t the only thing they practiced together, it seems.

Their collective moans of bliss overpower whatever muffled noise you try to make. Your tongue laps up Ryujin’s slick, making her whines higher pitched. Your own precum is their shared meal; the two women make out and swap your seed with their lips, all while they fondle the other’s breasts. Such a sight would cause you to erupt, but you don’t mind the obstruction when it’s Shin Ryujin’s plump, heavy ass blocking the view.

Yeji and Ryujin ride you at a quicker pace, your body shaking and wrestling with the intense suffocation weighing you down. Their hands work to make sure you’re fastened, but you begin to fight back out of desperation. Oxygen is more important than slick. Your heart pumps wildly, you can almost feel it break loose. You can feel yourself approaching the cathartic climax, but suddenly, they come to a full stop.

Ryujin lifts herself off your face, then you take a deep breath. Is this hate? Or just lust? Maybe lust disguised as hatred? You don’t know. Ryujin and Yeji crawl to the other’s positions. Now Yeji’s ass is above your face and Ryujin playfully teases your cock with her leaking lips. There’s something serious about their features. It’s like they intend to ruin or destroy you.

You have no time to think as the cycle repeats anew. Yeji spreads her butt on your face while Ryujin quickly drops her pussy on your shaft. Rinse and repeat. They ride you to oblivion in a torturous process that’s both painful and pleasurable at once. At least they allow you to move your hands freely this time, but you just end up flailing around like a helpless person drowning — which you are, except the ocean is Yeji’s ass and her wet juices.

Babble is ultimately what ends up coming out of your mouth. Your words that want to say something amount to meaningless drivel. You’re not the only speechless one; Yeji and Ryujin can only let out alluring, seductive whimpers and moans. Four palms are pressed on your chest. They feel like a singular anvil pulling your body even further down than where it actually is.

You feel it happening again. That distant climax. The high which you desperately crave. The two ladies tag teaming to overwhelm your body made you ignore that they climaxed twice each. All three disruptions hurt more than the actual smothering of your face. Perhaps they could be merciful to let you finally cum in one of them, right?

Wrong.

Ryujin suddenly gets off your sheathed cock before crawling towards Yeji for a deep, passionate kiss. Your throbbing shaft, no longer able to restrain itself, orgasms. You violently erupt — thick hot spurts of semen spill all over your crotch, legs, and the floor around it. It’s both the most cathartic and unsatisfying feeling; even though it was meant for Jisu, you were endowed with her members’ tight pussies so much that they would have made for a suitable consolation prize.

Then you hear a pair of mocking laughs. They knew what they were doing and they succeeded.

Yeji drifts off your face, completely red from near asphyxiation. As consolation, the twosome work together to clean up whatever cum is left. Their tongues trail from your dick to around your nether region, and all over your upper body. They give you seductive stares as they do, still wanting to lure you away from Jisu completely. As if taking you by surprise and crushing your profile wasn’t enough.

“You’d be much better for either of us,” Ryujin says playfully before following up with a slurp.

“Mm, you’re too good for Jisu. Leave with us.” Yeji adds. Another slurp.

Both women continue their oral assault, both on your body and psyche. The more they taunt and tempt you, the less interested you are. Sure, they can satisfy you, but only on a physical and sexual level. What you and Jisu have is special, and it would break your heart seeing you with her members like this. You can do nothing except lay down powerless, like you’ve been the whole time.

Should have waited for her to come to you instead.

———

The door opens. Yeji and Ryujin are focused on cleaning you up, while you lay absolutely defeated. As if your stroke of bad luck has no end, your worst fears have come true. The entering figure puts her hands on her mouth, dumbfounded at the unnatural sight: her members messing around with her boyfriend completely nude.

“Jisu! It’s not what it looks like!” A wave of energy and panic rushes over you as you raise your head.

You know you should have resisted, but they were too strong. Perhaps you were liking the moment a little too much, so you definitely have a fault in this. Yeji and Ryujin fall back as you try to get up, ignoring that you’re naked and somewhat sticky.

“I know what it looks like, shithead. Don’t talk to me.” Jisu pouts and immediately turns around, leaving the room and closing the door.

You scramble to put your clothes on in a haste. Except the fedora; someone else could keep that. You leave the practice room without saying another word to Yeji and Ryujin, who continue to lick your juices clean off their own faces. They’ve completed their purpose so they don’t care what happens anymore.

By the time you return to the ground floor of the JYP building, Jisu’s all but there. You can’t help but blame yourself. Ask any of the Stray Kids or Twice members, they told nothing about where she went. The repetitive description of how angry and frustrated she looked as she left sank your heart further. You knew this was your doing, and it was obvious. She wouldn’t lash out on her members — not when their careers were at stake should anyone else find out.

Then you remembered your phone. You still have Chaeryeong’s number on it, despite not being close to her in any way. Trigger fingers tap rapidly to dial her. Hopefully Jisu has told her about what happened. You want to explain everything, and you want to make things right.

Your heart tenses up hearing it ring. Thankfully, an answer.

“Hello?”

“Chaery?”

“O-oh? Aren’t you Jisu’s boyfriend? Why are you calling me?”

“I don’t have time to explain, but is Jisu at your dorm?”

“No. She just went off to the JYP building. Why?”

“Please find out where she’s going. I need to reach out to her.”

“Oh, all right. Calm your voice down, dear.”

You can feel a cold sweat flow down your face. At least Chaeryeong hasn’t learned about it, and that Jisu arrived at an inappropriate time. The quietness makes the waiting more anxiety inducing. Her voice comes around again after a minute.

“Hello?”

“Y-yes?”

“Jisu told me she’s going to the baywalk by the river. By the way, she told me something about you hanging out with Yeji and Ryujin? What’s going on?”

“That’s all I needed to know. Bye!”

“Wait—”

Before she could get another word off, you hang up. A quick taxi book later and you find yourself running down the stairs of the Han River. It’s not as crowded as before, because of the pandemic, which makes spotting Jisu much easier. Her figure could be spotted from five feet away.

You don’t want to make a scene, but you need her. Jisu is the only one you truly love. Without shame, you begin screaming her name.

“Jisu! Jisu! I need to talk to you.”

It immediately grabs her attention, plus those of the people nearby. You wave your hands to signal where you are. You’re so focused on getting her focus that you unintentionally skip a stair step and are a few centimeters away from stumbling the rest of the way down. Jisu wouldn’t pay for your medical insurance. Her annoyance grows and she begins sprinting farther away.

You wouldn’t give up. Not when you’re this close. You run while still shouting her name out loud. Your footwork outpaces hers, so you’re able to reach her within a few minutes. Onlookers watch as you chase her down, with some holding their phones out, possibly waiting to post it on social media or snitching to Dispatch. Their problem isn’t yours, however. You want to reach Jisu and that’s all you care about at the moment.

Finally after a few minutes of running, you close the gap between you and Jisu. You approach her for a bear hug, but she immediately resists and pushes you away while screaming a Korean profanity. “Leave me alone!”

You switch your approach, choosing to come to her slowly with your arms wide open. “Jisu, please, I need to explain what really happened.”

“I don’t want to hear you explain shit,” Jisu says, her features expressing clear anger at your very presence. “I know what I saw, asshole.”

“Yeji and Ryujin got the jump on me!” You start explaining even though you know she won’t buy it, even though it’s true. “I wanted to visit you during practice, but they were the only ones there, and they took advantage of me. Jisu, please, I know you’re angry at me right now, but I didn’t want to fuck them! They forced themselves on me and had me on strings!”

Jisu continues to walk away crossing her arms as you try to reason with her. Why would her members have you on strings, she thinks. It sounds very fabricated and a terrible excuse to cheat on her with her own partners.

“Jisu, I know what I did, and I’m sorry. Please, I didn’t mean to fuck them. They forced me to. Please, Jisu, look me in the eyes.” You cup her face toward yours, her eyes twinkling with tears. No resistance as you motion her. “Believe me.”

You gaze into each other for a while. Time and the world around you stops for a moment. Your heart beats, not as intensely as before, but slowly. Waiting for the answer. Your eyes are pleading, begging, for her to open her heart to you once more.

Then the floodgates open. Jisu suddenly magnets herself onto you, wrapping you in a tight embrace. Her tears flow openly as she cries on your shoulder, soaking the side of your wrinkled shirt. You reciprocate those feelings by hugging her in return, rubbing your hand on her back.

“I’m sorry. I just...I didn’t want to believe what happened,” she says, followed by a sniffle. “I know you’re not that kind of person.”

“I’m not. I wanted to see you because I miss you.” You whisper in her ear softly, warming her heart. “I love you so much, Choi Jisu. More than anyone I know.”

She continues crying on your shoulder while in deep embrace. It reliefs your own heart to see everything resolved. Losing Jisu would hurt you far worse than you could imagine. Caress her face, and her eyes twinkle at your sight. Love that wouldn’t break easily. Then, you make your move. Your lips dive into hers. She requites. A deep, passionate, make out on the river sidewalk. Jisu is yours, and you belong to hers.

———

The day passes by in a flash. It’s all a blur in your head. The intimacy becomes too much to the point where you nearly flashed her tit in public due to how engrossed you both were passionately. Even on the bus, you both consummated love by exchanging a few smooches, much to the dismay of some passengers.

Before you know it, you and Jisu are now in her dorm, continuously making out, planting kisses all over each other’s faces. You enter her room with her legs straddled around your waist, never releasing your lips’ touch on hers. Inches away from her bed, you toss her on the mattress and it shakes lightly.

You strip yourself completely first before undressing Jisu, removing her black top. Clothes fly over the place and are left on the floor to be completely ignored. You join her in bed, hovering above her slim figure. She’s put on a weight since then, which you are thankful for. Idol life can be harsh on their bodies, but now, beneath you naked, she’s perfect.

The kisses never stop as you continue to leave marks on her face and neck, eliciting a few soft moans. As much as you want to fuck her, you also want to savor the tenderness. Both of you have been waiting to make sweet love since you last met, more so than the lust radiating from your wanton bodies.

Jisu pushes to the side of her bed before pulling you in again for another passionate make out. Your fingers caress the brown locks of her tied up hair while hers roams your nape and back. Your erect cock twitches upon touching her, but you’re not in the mood to pound the daylights out of her. Each kiss is warm, loving, and sincere how you feel towards each other. You wouldn’t trade this for her members, or any other girl. This is something only you and Jisu can share together.

“I miss you so fucking much.” She murmurs through the smooch. Her soft voice tingles your spine.

“Me too.” The only words you say, and yet the simplest are the most impactful.

Jisu’s hand stretches over your shoulder and reaches into an object on her bedside. It’s phallic. She draws it toward you to show what she’s been doing while you were gone. You understood, since that one phone call told you everything.

“I’m ready.” She flashes the dildo right in your face. Her eyes gleam with burning lust similar to that of Yeji and Ryujin. “I wanted your cock for so long, that I imagined yours while using it. Please, babe, fuck me.”

You’ve been grinding at the opportunity, and finally it’s time. You’d never turn down her request, lest it show how much of a fool you are. You clamber over her body, and line your dick against her slit. She shudders at the slightest sensation of your shaft.

“Fuck me,” she says again. Reminders weren’t necessary.

You grab the dildo from her hand and put it away. She wants the real thing, so you’ll give her the real thing. A peck on her forehead and a finger that caresses her loose strand to show you’re still wanting to be soft with her, but the look on her features say otherwise. That dangerous lip bite. No holding back.

Without a word, you gently insert yourself into her cunt. A collective groan fills the room with your voices harmonizing in pleasure. Her nails dig deep through your back, clinging to you like you’re her only support.

“Oh, fuck, that’s so fucking big, fuck—”

Her cries of profanity are superseded by moans as you begin pounding her at a natural pace. Your thoughts go blank and the pleasure takes full control of your muscles. It takes a few deep strokes to prove that her sex toy is nothing compared to your throbbing cock. Flesh slapping and low whines reverberate around the room. Luckily, no one seems to be around to hear it.

Words do not convey how tight, hot, and slick her pussy is. Your body does, and it responds with increasing thrusts in speed and power. It knows only one purpose, and that is to stretch her walls thin. Gone is the idea of being a soft boyfriend to her; you want to show her what she’s been missing all along. The bed rattles harder as you continue fucking her deep into the mattress.

Her fingers scramble to claw your hair, face, and back. Your teeth gnaw on her collarbone and neck, leaving a sensitive red patch. This is even better than what those two did to you earlier. The ecstasy you’re both experiencing is spellbinding and addicting.

“I-I’m gonna cum, Jisu, I’m gonna—”

“In me! Please fill me, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

You both regain and lose the ability to formulate words. The sensation is bringing you both to an inevitable close which you’ve been desiring for a long, long time. Her thighs wrap around your lower body to prevent you from escaping, which you wouldn’t do, not in a million years. They have the same strangling power as her members, which caught you off-guard. Any of them could have you on the ropes whenever they wanted.

A deep groan escapes your breath as you orgasm. And what a satisfying finish. Thick ropes of semen fill her womb, your dick fully sheathed inside her drenched pussy. Jisu follows shortly too; a high whine signals her own climax, overflowing your cock with her wet juices. The bed creaks gently as you ride out your peaks until you finish spurting inside her. Then your body finally collapses on hers.

Deep, heavy breaths fill the room for minutes. You and Jisu remain entangled in each other’s bodies. Something you never want to let go of, now that you’re with her again. Then she surprises you by flipping you over so that you’re laying down while she’s on your chest. Neither of you minded the sudden stickiness on the sheets.

Using your body as her pillow, she hugs you tightly before giving you a peck on the cheek. For a second, she flashes an innocent smile. “Love you. Let’s do it again when we wake up.”

Caress her hair and forehead, and kiss her again. Home has never been closer than ever.

(A/N: So, whose era is it?

Itzy: Yes.

Honestly it was quite a chore to decide who to write because every member looked so fine! So the best plan was just to write them all in a single story. Chaeryeong will definitely have a solo piece of her own; I haven't thought of hers just yet. I also lied when I said that this was gonna be lighter, shades of angst still ended up in the final version. Thank you for reading!)

[dayenurose]

Writer’s Month Prompts (written for @writersmonth )

Day 17 - Ice (Romy - WatX)

(**Note: While I wrote this I had my story “Proceeding According to Plan” in mind, so there are a few references to the way that story played out.**)

Rogue was going to kill Bobby. Kill him dead. Then, she was going to resurrect him and kill him again just to make certain he learned his lesson.

Don’t talk to her about reasonable. There was nothing reasonable about this situation. They’d left reasonable three days ago. A thick layer of ice encased the Mansion all because Bobby wanted to see how far he could push his powers. Instead of stopping when things didn’t go as planned, he doubled down and kept pushing. Only Bobby would think that more ice was the solution to too much ice. Apparently, he could freeze things, but unfreezing them was beyond his capabilities. Now, all they could do was wait for the ice to melt.

Shivering, Rogue clutched another blanket tightly around her shoulders. Rogue hated the cold. And that’s all she could feel, thanks to Bobby. A cold which seeped into the very marrow of her bones and bit to the quick. She wore every item of clothing she possessed and it still did nothing to dissuade the chill

Her teeth chattered. The heater couldn’t keep up with the cold which permeated the inside of the building and what little heat they managed to secure was directed to the room where they kept the Professor’s body. They’d run out of firewood after the first day and had no way of going outside to gather more. Since none of the others felt the cold as intensely as she did, it was up to Rogue to find ways of staying warm. So far, her attempts had been less than successful. Her hot chocolate rapidly became tepid chocolate, and now as her chattering teeth rattled against the side of the mug, she sipped ice crystals.

None of the X-Men currently occupying the Mansion possessed the means to escape. Bobby—the cause of their problem—only made things worse when he tried. The entire foyer had become a slip and slide before they convinced him to just stop already. Emma couldn’t think her way past the blockage and wasn’t going to risk chipping a nail. And while Hank and Rogue could attempt to brute force their way through the ice, they first needed to be able to access the ice. Which remained problematic in that all the doors and windows held fast. Not only had the ice jammed all points of egress, it had also blocked their means of communication with the outside world. Now all they could do was wait until the other X-Men returned from their missions.

Not for the first time since the Great Freeze did Rogue wish could have been on the mission with the other X-Men. Wherever they were had to be warmer than here. But, Wolverine still didn’t trust her after her time with the Brotherhood. If he did, she could have joined the mission and missed out on all this fun.

It wasn’t her fault the Brotherhood was the only Mutant organization which had the access to the information she needed when she arrived in New York. Until very recently, the X-Men hadn’t been a credible option since before the explosion. Sure, she could tell Logan about Ellie. If he knew, he might even forgive Rogue for her actions. But, she didn’t exactly trust him either. He had the habit of judging people before understanding a situation, then stubbornly holding to his opinion even after learning he was wrong. Also, he never addressed his tendency of running off whenever he felt like it. With those attitudes, this wasn’t the kind of world she wanted to introduce to her husband or daughter.

Burrowing back into the nest of every blanket in the house she’d managed to beg, borrow, or steal, Rogue checked her watch for the umpteenth time. It wouldn’t be much longer. She’d missed her check-in. In fact, she was over twelve hours late. Which meant she missed spending time with her husband. Missed checking in on her daughter. Her absence wouldn’t go unnoticed.

As if he read her mind, a loud crack sounded outside her window. A flash of light illuminated from behind the curtains. Shuffling out of her blanket cocoon, Rogue crossed the room to her window and threw open the drapery. A spiderweb of cracks crisscrossed the thick layers of ice blocking the the window. She heard a faint scrabbling from the other side of the meter thick blockage.

A shadowy silhouette wedged thin, flexible objects at key points within the cracks. Rogue backed away as another loud bang practically shook the dorm wing of the mansion. It was accompanied by a lurid fuchsia glow. When the ice shards settled, the scrabbling resumed. The patterned continued—an explosion, a clearing of icy debris, followed by another explosion until the ice layer was only a few inches thick. Eventually the amorphous shadows took on a distinctive shape. A very welcome form. Her husband.

When there were more cracks than smooth ice covering the window and filtered sunlight lit the room in broken patches, Rogue attempted to force the window open. It creaked and groaned in protest. Undeterred, she continued to muscle the stubborn frame open a few inches. Gambit plucked away shards of ice until he could curl his fingers under the frame.

It shuddered, then gave, sliding open another inch or so, before sticking fast and refusing to budge again. Warm air slipped into the room in a valiant attempt at clearing the pervasive chill. For the first time in days, she felt the initial inklings of warmth. And not only from the summer air.

Working his way back down the ice covered wall, Remy peered into the room. Rogue knelt before the window and slipped her hand through the window and entwined her fingers with his. Even through the layers of gloves, Remy’s natural body heat seeped through the layers of gloves and sent prickles of warmth into her chilled skin.

“Hello mon coeur. I was wondering what kept you. Though I wasn’t expecting quite this much of a cold shoulder.” While he made an effort at keeping the cheeky inflection to his voice, deep lines of concern was etched into his face. “I was afraid they decided to keep you prisoner again.”

“Not this time. At least not on purpose.” Rogue squeezed his hand. “Do you think you can get me out of here?”

“Oui. Your wish is my command.” Remy tapped along the window frame from the outside and cleared away more slivers of ice. “Think it needs one more round of explosives, then we’ll be able to free the window. Mais, it’s probably going to also blow out the glass. You should take cover.”

“Okay.” Rogue backed away from the window and returned to her nest. She pulled a blanket over her head and waited for Remy to work his magic.

A chain of explosions blasted through the last layer of ice. As predicted the glass shattered.  What didn’t disappear in a flash of fuchsia and dust, scattered across the floor in glittering shards. Warmth and freedom at last.

Rogue shucked off her extra layers of clothes. Before opening her door to allow the summer warmth to combat the freezing house, Rogue grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down a quick note.

“Gone to warm up. Be back soon. ~Rogue.”

Surprised that the other X-Men hadn’t already come in search of the ruckus, Rogue hurried to the window. Remy helped her avoid the jagged glass as she climbed out. Balancing half against her husband and half on the ledge of broken ice, Rogue clung to his side to keep from sliding down the side of the building.

“Hold on tight.” Remy pressed a quick, searing kiss to her lips before repelling down the building with the aid of a climbing ropes.

Once they were on solid ground, Remy swooped her up in his arms. With his face buried in her hair, he asked, “What do you want to do now?”

“Let’s go back to your apartment. I want a hot shower and a warm body in my bed.” She snuggled up against his side, luxuriating in his warmth.

“I believe I can help with that.” Remy grinned as he led her back to his motorcycle parked down the road from the Mansion. “How about I promise to keep you all toasty and you stay with me until all the ice has melted.”

“Sounds like a deal, swamp rat.” Rogue rested her head on his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”

[blockgamepirate]

Okay fuck all the fake activists on Twitter

This is actual bullshit. Go fight ACTUAL racists and ACTUAL homophobes. NOT SOME GUY WHO JUST MADE SOME JOKES YOU DIDN'T LIKE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

I'm actually so mad right now. Because you realise that all those jokes that I've seen people yelling about that he made actually even somewhat recently are making fun of racists, right? And you know his audience is full of edgy gamer boys, right? People who are just straight up allergic to genuine appeals. Edgy jokes making fun of racism is literally exactly what those kind of people need. It gives them a way in without feeling immediately alienated. It makes it easier for them to accept that racism is bad actually, and that people who hate racism aren't all humourless assholes who cancel you at the drop of a hat.

So yeah what you guys are doing right now? This is only driving people away. This is making people defensive. And I don't care if you think perfect political correctness is more important than convincing people to not be racist, because you are fucking wrong. Yes it's fine to criticise him and point out when the jokes feel wrong to you or upset you but don't act like everyone has to agree with you or else they're bigots too. (Also stop yelling about years old shit he said as a teenager, nobody CARES. Let people put their past behind them.)

If you don't like his humour, feel free to just not watch Techno, it's fine. But this kind of humour DOES actually serve a purpose. You can't reach out to people if you expect perfect purity from everyone at all times. Sometimes people need space to adapt into new ideas, and humour is actually one of the best ways to do that because of how psychology works.

And yeah the Asian joke was kind of shit but it was literally making fun of racists who thought every Asian person had covid, back when the pandemic was only just becoming a pandemic. It wasn't making fun of Asians. He even prefaced it with acknowledging the horrific racism (his actual words).

Slavery jokes? Like literally the point of those was to address the unfortunate implications of the video game. It's basically just media criticism. It's not endorsing slavery or making light of the real world history. It's pointing out the elephant in the room. It's dark humour, yes, but like is it really better to just NOT acknowledge how weird the whole minion thing is? I feel like it's actually better to acknowledge it. I'm the kind of person who actually feels kinda uncomfortable about game mechanics like that and it helps me when people point out the implications. And dark humour is actually probably the best way to acknowledge it without making the whole thing sound goofy, because it is kinda goofy, but it's still subtly fucked up.

And the "murder is bad"... I literally do not understand why people are mad about that one. I genuinely don't get it. That's literally the kind of joke I could see like any of the popular liberal late night show hosts making to underline the point that murder doesn't magically become okay when it's the police doing it. Like "I shouldn't have to say this but murder is bad". You know? Because a bunch of people out there are ACTUALLY acting like it's okay for the police to murder people (especially black people). This is the most effective response to that bullshit, honestly. It cuts straight to the point. Murder IS bad.

And apparently nobody is acknowledging that the point of that tweet was to share the petition. He wasn't just like randomly joking about a horrible event, he was trying to help. He's a comedy Minecraft YouTuber, do you seriously expect him to make some sort of solemn plea? No, that would just make him sound sarcastic if anything because he never does that. Humour is how he addresses everything, get used to it or just stop following him.

Also people are just way more likely to respond positively to a joke than to something preachy or depressing, because as it turns out, depression makes people apathetic. I'd be willing to bet more people signed the petition because the tweet was funny than would have if it wasn't. Especially people in Techno's audience.

But these twitter warriors don't care about actions, they apparently don't even care that much about words because there's no way "murder is bad" is a harmful message in this context. So they just care about tone I guess.

Anyway, even of you think he's genuinely problematic, is he SERIOUSLY the enemy that's worth all this attention? All this energy? Fuck off. You know there are bigger fish out there and you didn't go for them, you went for someone you thought you could bully easily because he already has quite a progressive audience.

This isn't activism, this is just harassment. And it was just harassment long before the doxxing bullshit too. Don't pretend like everything up to this point was fine. It was not fine. And it's NOT actually helpful to dig up months or years old shit and plaster it all over twitter and then pretend to care about how these things hurt people's feelings when people wouldn't even have seen them if you didn't dig them up in the first place. If anyone is hurting them right now it's you.

Learn to do some actual fucking work for the cause you fucking shitheads. If that's even what you ever wanted to do, which I kinda doubt actually.

Like I don't pretend like I'm the greatest activist out there but at least I fucking try to do something productive instead of bullying minor celebrities online.

[missnight0wl]

Your post reminded me of something: In y6ch45, Merula said she was ready for R to become her "real family". So maybe at least writers thought out about this arc, right? I mean, family was always the thing going on with her. At least this kinda makes sense, unlike with Peregrine

Oh, I remember about this line. And generally speaking, Merula working with R is an excellent proof that Jam City does think about what they’re writing. This arc adds up beautifully all the way back to the very beginning. I love the fact that Merula is the mole. The only problem is that they decided to involve an Unbreakable Vow in this. And let me explain why it’s VERY problematic.

Alright, here’s what I was always thinking about Merula’s involvement with R, more or less: they approached her in Y1-Y2 and promised everything she ever wanted, she was a stupid kid, so she believed that, and then, it was too late to quit because that’s how things are with R. It was kind of the same with Jacob, too, after all: they blackmailed him. Let’s say that Merula started to have some doubts in Y5. After the Portrait Vault, she concluded that Rakepick tortured her as a punishment for even thinking of being disobedient. And so, she was scared that she might be punished again. Then, she saw Rowan’s death, and she got really scared that R might kill her as well. Because those people clearly have no limits, right?

Seriously, if Merula was working for R simply because she was scared of them, I absolutely wouldn’t hold it against her. And I mean it. I would totally get it. And you could argue that an Unbreakable Vow didn’t make things that much different – but it made it drastically different. Because JC basically said:

“Oh, look at poor little Merula! She was literally risking HER LIFE every time she was trying to warn MC about R! Isn’t she wonderful? So brave! So caring! What an amazing redemption arc!”

That's what's problematic with this solution. JC forces us to feel bad for Merula because her life was at stake. They did exactly the same with the Portrait Vault. Because let me ask you something: would Rakepick torturing ANY teenager be a terrible scene to witness? Yes, it would be. But JC knows they fucked up with Merula, so they had to dedicate the whole chapter to her very sad, very tragic backstory, just to make it absolutely certain that you feel bad for her later in the Vault. Because how could you not, right? That poor baby was neglected by her terrible parents and whatnot. Her mother dared to do other things than singing with her before bed every single night! How could you not feel sorry for her?!

Sadly, using an Unbreakable Vow also shows that JC totally doesn’t understand why people don’t like Merula. Because an Unbreakable Vow doesn’t explain why Merula:

turned one of Ben’s first experiences with the wizarding world into a nightmare and convinced him he didn’t belong there,

bullied Rowan,

bullied countless other students and basically terrorised the whole school,

called the Weasley brothers “filthy”,

joked about Jacob being dead on multiple occasions,

was a shitty friend to Ismelda,

blamed MC for Rowan’s death,

never apologised for anything listed above.

Or you’re gonna tell me Verucca told her to do all of that, so Merula had to be a terrible person, just to be “loyal to her true family”?

It’s just such a fucking lazy writing. It always has to be super dramatic and super tragic with Merula because it’s easier than actually giving her a redemption arc. The Unbreakable Vow is totally unnecessary to justify Merula working for R. And it’s so obviously a preparation for the reveal that MC and friends are actually Merula’s “true family”. How fucking adorable.

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

idk why im asking for angst but i think c!tommy fixes people's clothes and like sews patches into their jackets and stuff, fixes arrow holes from skeletons, etc.

Tommy does like fixing people's things.

He likes the casual fondness in Wilbur's brushing-by when he slings a cloak over his arms and lets a hand linger on his shoulder, he likes the look in Tubbo's eyes when he surprises him with a colorful new bandana (he has a matching one, of course), he likes Niki's grateful smile when they exchange a good-as-new blouse for fresh loaf of spiced bread, he likes the impressed huffs that Techno gives him when he shows him the new winter coats that he had carefully lined with the softest, thickest fur he could find.

And yeah, sometimes he's... okay, not all, but maybe part of the reason their clothes even need to be fixed, whether from it's convincing someone to stay out too late playing games and forcing them both to flee from the ravenous undead, or playing a prank that singes the cuffs of their favorite pants, or starting a hot-headed sparring session that leaves behind deeper tears than the ones in their stained shirts, or dragging them all into a war for something that they obviously don't care about as much as he does...

But it's fine. Tommy always cleans up after himself! And that's what's important, right? That no matter what problems he's caused, he'll always stick around to fix them again. Because that's just who he is. He knows how to face his problems like a big man. People don't even need to say anything, because they know he'll do it. He doesn't need to say anything, either. He can just patch it all up and everything will be fine, no questions asked.

Then Wilbur piles too many bloody coats into his arms, and then his hand doesn't linger anymore, and then he stops giving him anything to work with at all.

Then, when it's all over, he searches for that cloak in the rubble - the one that always used to bring warmth and proud speeches and fond hugs - and he can't find it anywhere. He thinks he sees Niki wrapped in it once, but as soon as he starts toward her, she pulls it tighter around herself and walks briskly away. He doesn't chase her. It's getting colder now, he thinks. She needs it. And it probably wasn't the same cloak, anyway.

And then he tries to fix something else he broke, and he fails, and Tubbo gives him a different look from the one he always loved, the one they shared in the aftermath of birthday gifts and apology gifts and gifts given for no real reason except that they were needed. It's sad, it's angry, it's tired, and it says there's no fixing this.

"If I can't be the next Schlatt," he says solemnly, not long before he rips the itchy, unsightly, problematic patch from their favorite ever-lengthening tapestry, "then you can't be the next Wilbur."

Wilbur - no, Ghostbur - follows Tommy away. He helps him build a new home, smiles serenely as he pulls out trinkets and pictures from the place they left behind, and blithely points out the holes slowly blooming across his shirt. He's one to talk, Tommy thinks bitterly, never mentioning the loose blue-stained threads spilling from the gash in Ghostbur's yellow sweater. He's not even sure if he could stitch that old scrap back together if he tried. Wilbur is dead, after all. Dead things fall apart, no matter how fast you try to stop them.

Besides, even with the ragged gash across his front, Ghostbur seems... happy. Maybe that's the secret. Maybe Tommy would be happy, too, if he just stopped trying to fix things.

And Dream... well, Dream never hesitated to point out the damage Tommy causes in everything he touches. But slowly, he stops commenting on the rips. He stops asking when Tommy is going to patch up his moth-eaten, branch-bitten, arrow-marked, discolored, hideous clothing. He'll pinch at a sleeve and sigh, or stare just a little too long, or refuse to look anywhere but his face at all. It's hard to tell with Dream, mind you, but Tommy can feel it, how not even the only friend he has left can stand the way he looks now.

Tommy trips and falls in the mines one day, lightheaded from forgetting to gather Mushroom Henry's daily yield of soup, and catches his pickaxe on the way down. He doesn't notice how badly he's hurt until he props himself up against the stone and promptly slips on something warm and damp beneath him. The left side of his shirt is more red than white, now, and the seam barely holds his sleeve to the rest of it. Head still spinning, breath echoing heavily in the cavern, and arm still throbbing and weak, he stands up more carefully and returns to the sunlight.

When Dream comes back, he waits for Tommy to drop his hard-won tools into the hole, quiet and unmoving and gentle (at least, gentle since Tommy stopped trying to hold onto anything) as ever. He lights the explosives, nods shortly at the blast, and starts to walk away. Then he pauses.

"Your shoulder," he says, tilting his head. "That looks pretty bad."

Tommy shrugs, lopsided and wincing.

Dream waits for him to elaborate, but asks nothing. Then, slowly, he holds out his hand. "Do you want me to take a look at that? Maybe - maybe stitch it up for you?"

Tommy looks at the outstretched hand, then at the pristine white porcelain mask. He thinks about the scratchy weight of fabric and the phantom squeeze of fingers on his shoulder, then imagines how those fingers would feel poking around in the open wound, pulling together and piercing the little unblemished skin left around it. A long chasm, beginning just above his sternum and sinking deep into his stomach, opens up inside him. He swallows hard and shakes his head.

"No thanks," he mutters. "I'll do it myself."

He doesn't. And if Dream notices the missing sleeve the next day, he doesn't bother to ask.