#it’s never intentional to miss someone i’m simply human

[devildom-moss]

Roses for You (9)

This had all started when you noticed a link between a book on the language of flowers you had borrowed from Satan’s room and the current lessons from your Seductive Speechcraft and Magical Potions classes.

In Seductive Speechcraft, you had just reached a section on the effectiveness of spells using non-verbal communication: enchanting glances, dance, and offerings. Meanwhile, in Magical Potions, the professor had been discussing the significance of using specific quantities when concocting potions; they had spent fifteen minutes just providing examples – including adding petals from two different flowers when using them for a love spell.

You couldn’t resist discussing the use of flower language – utilizing the type, color, and quantity of the flowers – to specify the magical intent of an offering as a form of seductive speechcraft. Asmo and Solomon listened intently. The same idea popped into both of their minds, and before you knew it, everyone was looking into color and number meanings, searching for the perfect combination to convey their feelings for you and try to put you under their spell. The only rule for their little competition to charm you? Only roses are allowed.

Will you be charmed by their attempts?

Nine Roses - Barbatos

Word Count: +1,500 (sorry. I think my bias is showing.)

Eternal love

“Hey, Barbatos, why did you want to see me today?” You stood at the door to the Demon Lord’s castle.

Barbatos chuckled and stepped aside to allow you in. “What would you say if I told you I simply wanted to see you?”

“I’d say, ‘I’m glad you invited me because I missed you, too.’”

You missed the brief widening of his smile. He was delighted by your response, but the thought of someone walking into the foyer and seeing him practically fawning over you caused him to suppress that joy.

“Actually,” Barbatos started with a hint of something between hesitation and musing. “I was finishing up a task that I believe you might enjoy. Would you like to try your hand at making a flower arrangement?”

“I don’t know if I’d be any good at it, but it sounds fun.”

“Excellent. Come with me to the garden.” Barbatos turned, hiding the sudden appearance of a grin, and led the way. Perfect, he thought. It was no coincidence that you “caught him” in the middle of this particular task. He had worked hard to complete his necessary duties ahead of time so that he could spend the entire afternoon with you. This last task had been postponed until you were on your way with the hope that it would spark your interest – with the expectation that his plan would come to fruition. “I have a table set up in the garden where I was previously making arrangements. The flowers around the castle required refreshing. Although, as you can see, I’ve already completed a few.”

There was a vase slightly ahead of you on a table in the hall. You recognized the purple basil and black calla lilies, but there was something else in the arrangement – some alien- or Devildom-looking plant. It was a large dark reddish-brown, almost black, with petals that resembled wings – some pointed, demonic version of an orchid. Even stranger were the long, whisker-like tendrils that jutted out from the center. You’d never seen anything like it. “What type of flower is that?”

“I take it you mean the black bat flower?” Barbatos hummed and stopped in front of the vase.

“Is it native to the Devildom? It’s incredible. I half-expected it to growl at me as we walked by.”

“No, my dear,” Barbatos chuckled. “This plant is from the human world, but it tolerates Devildom conditions quite well; in fact, it flourishes here – much like yourself. I’ve heard about your recent interest in flower meanings, would you happen to have learned about any of these?”

“Well, I’m not sure if it’s the same for purple basil, but basil is usually a symbol of love, right?”

“It is now, although I’ve read that it once symbolized hatred. It was said to drive men insane. What an interesting turn of events. Both the calla lilies and the bat flower symbolize transformation, strength, and mystery. However, the black calla lily has a rather unique association.” Barbatos paused and turned to face you. His tail wrapped around the back of your thighs and pulled you closer to him. He held your gaze seductively and spoke, slow and heavy: “forbidden love.”

Barbatos had brought you here on purpose – both to see that particular arrangement and because the hall was quiet and not prone to foot traffic. He gave you a gentle smile that smothered the spark of heat you had felt in his eyes.

You found yourself searching for something to say – to cut the charged tension in a still-very-public part of the castle. “It’s a beautiful arrangement, Barbatos.”

Barbatos chuckled and shook his head. “Oh, dear, I lost myself momentarily. Shall we continue to the garden?”

He didn’t wait for a response before he turned and began to walk. You immediately felt his tail drop and encircle one of your calves, pulling you along with him.

The table Barbatos had set up in the garden was filled with a variety of flowers. You could see that he had nearly completed another arrangement before you had arrived. Barbatos added a few more hell roses and a sprig of black grass before he wrapped it carefully. “I’m going to place this in an empty vase. You’re welcome to use whatever you’d like to create your arrangement.”

“Will you display it in the castle when I’m done?”

“I’d like to, yes – if you don’t mind.”

You grinned to yourself as Barbatos walked away. The thought of Barbatos looking at an arrangement you made throughout the week as he went about his duties left you nervous but eager to please. Instinctively, you reached for a blue anemone. Sure, you probably should have considered what would suit the castle and the potential surrounding décor, but all you could think about was Barbatos. You added a few purple hyacinths, and cursed baby blue eyes, rotating the placement of each selection, but you felt that something was missing. The pale blue glow of hell jasmine called to you. Strange; the scent of hell jasmine was said to make a demon extremely needy. Why would Barbatos want to display these in the castle? That seems a bit dangerous. However, on closer inspection, the scent had been hampered significantly compared to other times you had run into this plant.

“Let me guess,” Barbatos spoke up as he returned to the garden. “You’re wondering if that hell jasmine has had an effect on me today?”

“Sort of.”

“Worry not. This variety has been modified. Its scent has no power over me. That honor is all yours today. It’s perfectly safe to use in your arrangement.”

“Oh!” You felt the heat rise in your face. You weren’t sure you believed him with all his sweet-talking. But that didn’t matter. If the hell jasmine was safe to use, it would make for the perfect final touch. You wanted to surprise Barbatos with your creative decisions. “Close your eyes, please.”

“As you wish.” Barbatos made no attempt to get closer and shut his eyes. You finished your arrangement and brought it to Barbatos, holding it out to him like an offering.

“Okay, you can open your eyes.” You watched as a look of pleasant surprise was sketched on Barbatos’s face. The smile on his lips filled you with an unfamiliar pride – so warm and encompassing as if you had performed a miracle. There was no restraint in that smile. “I made it with you in mind.”

“Oh my.” Barbatos brought the knuckle of his index finger to his mouth. “I beg your pardon, but would you indulge my selfishness and put your arrangement in my room? There’s an empty vase on the table near the door.”

“You want to display it in your room?”

“I would feel better knowing something so thoughtfully crafted by you was in my room. I’m afraid I would feel quite jealous allowing someone else to admire it. That is, I want the sole joy of seeing it and thinking of you each day. Is that okay?”

“Are you certain the hell jasmine has had no effect on you?” You looked at him suspiciously as if that would distract from the way he flustered you.

“I’m afraid not. This seems to be a consequence of thinking about you so much today. Now, will you do me a favor and deliver those to my room? I believe you’re adept at finding my room on your own by now,” Barbatos added a seductive tinge to the last sentence. He turned you towards the entrance and gave you a gentle nudge. The warmth of his hand lingered as you headed to his room.

When you returned, Barbatos was carefully wrapping a bouquet of blue roses and darkness thyme – likely both of which were cultivated by Barbatos. It was simple, but the blue roses were stunning, and their rarity was only complemented by an equally rare herb. Barbatos tied a silky blue bow around the bouquet and held it out to you with both hands – an oddly elegant gesture.

“Where would you like me to put these?” you asked.

“No, my dear, these are for you.”

Your eyes widened and you took a closer look at the bouquet. Nine blue roses. Nine was for a timeless, eternal love. Blue roses signified mystery and uniqueness, but they could also mean something unattainable or impossible. You frowned. “Eternal love is impossible?”

Sure, maybe Barbatos wouldn’t love you forever, but that message seemed a bit cruel.

“Not quite.” Barbatos laughed at you softly. Had his laugh not been so sweet, you might have been upset. “Blue may represent the impossible, but here it is – a dream come true. If I can be so bold, you are a dream come true – the only one I could adore like this for all of time.”

The frown fell from your face, and you were left with shock and shyness. Something must have gotten into him today. In truth, the thought of the others giving you roses only encouraged Barbatos to charm you as much as he could, and that meant he would need to bare his heart to you. Barbatos pulled you in close and kissed you with a sweetness that matched his words.

“For a demon such as myself, eternal love is a rather serious proposal; will you still accept it?” His thumb ran across your lower lip.

“That would be a dream come true.” It was your turn to kiss and fluster him now. Hopefully none of the little D.s would go into the garden that afternoon.

Lucifer (1) | Mammon (2) | Leviathan (3) | Satan (4) | Asmodeus (5) | Beelzebub (6) | Belphegor (7) | Diavolo (8) | Luke (10) | Simeon (11) | Solomon (12) | Thirteen (13) | Raphael (14) | Mephistopheles (15)

[harmeu]

Can you do a TCGF characters (preferably Feng Xin, Mu Qing, Shi Qingxuan) reaction to a man coming up to their crush while they’re on a mission together asking her commit double suicide with him (aka a Osamu Dazai like character)?

TCGF CHARACTERS REACTION TO THEIR CRUSH GETTING ASKED TO DOUBLE SUICIDE ~ (Featuring ~ Osamu Dazai) -

(Fem!Reader) ~

(This request was so fun to write lowkey)

Shi Qingxuan:

(Male Form)

You and Shi Qingxuan were on a mission together. You and the wind master frequently got assigned by the Emperor to get stuff done together because you two were very efficient together working. 

Shi Qingxuan stares at you for long periods of time and when you catch him looking he turns his head and whistles away acting as if he wasn't gawking at you a second ago. You're his crush. You don’t know that though he makes it quite obvious from all that staring. Plus he’s helllllaaaa clingy. 

As soon as he sees you after a while he’ll wrap you in a bear hug and say how much he missed you.

“Ah! Oh how I missed you so much my dear!” He says with dramatic effect clutching his chest. 

You two were walking the streets of the Ghost City trying to find a bad spirit in need of an exorcism. You looked and looked till someone disturbed you.

“Mademoiselle” The man who spoke had curly brown hair and a brown trench coat with a suit-like outfit under. Odd clothing you thought to yourself.

“You are the one for me!” He gets on his knee grasping one of your hands making you flustered. He makes circles in your hand with a joyful and immersed expression. “Oh how I’ve dreamed for this day to come! I request you to join me in a double-suicide!”

A what now?

A double su- what?

Your mind went blank and you just freezed on the spot while Shi Qingxuan on the other hand was gripping his fan so tight it almost snapped right in half though he tried to keep a simple smile on his face.

Probably to avoid wrinkles.

“Uhm. I-” 

“She’s with me.” Shi Qingxuan cuts you off, grasping your hand out of the mysterious mans and hugging your arm like a bear. 

The man who was once on his knee stood up and sighed. “When will I find a beautiful lady who will commit dead with me..” His head hung low with a sad but dramatic expression as he walked away shrugging.

“What was that?” You chuckle at the whole experience.

“Don’t know. Some kind of lunatic.” Shi Qingxuan says still clinging to your arm.

“Your arm..” You murmur flustered and realize what he said earlier to get the random guy off you.

“I'm going to stay like this~!” He says with a cheeky smile knowing he got you trapped.

“Hah..sure.” You laugh.

Mu Qing:

(God Form)

Mu Qing and you were sent to a forest to find a sculpture that was rumoured to be haunted. Mu Qing’s attitude was..to put it simply.

Tsundere?

Every time you talked he would find a way to judge you but it obviously had no malicious intent. Though every time you complimented him in a way he would tell you to shut up and walk away his face red. You teased him quite a lot because of it.

What you didn’t know was that Mu Qing had a crush on you. He would never admit it. He’s gaslighted himself into thinking he hates you so much it makes his heart beat faster when you're around. 

Funny.

You both walked through the forest trying to find a sculpture till you heard crunching of leaves behind you making you both flinch in surprise.

“Who’s there?” Mu Qing said in a defensive tone eyebrows furrowed.

A man with curly brown hair emerged from the bushes with a look of awe.

“A human?” Mu Qing said, confused.

“Oh sir you shouldn't be here. It's late at night.” You say worriedly.

The man all of a sudden gets on his knees and grabs your hand like a prince. 

“Oh you're the one for me! Your eyes..your sweet tone..” You flush at what the man was saying clearly caught off guard. Mu Qing on the other hand had a look that said he was ready to kill. 

“U-uhm sir? Are you okay” You began to think he was drunk, calming you down a bit.

“Of course I’m okay darling. I've met you. An angel from above. Now may I ask. Will you commit a double-suicide with me?” His eyes shimmer as he batted his eyelashes with a smile.

“No.” Mu Qing said, grabbing your hand which made you tumble to his chest, your head placed firmly on it as he held your head close. “Get out.” Mu Qing said with a warning tone as he tightened his grip on you making you blush slightly.

The man sighed and threw his hands in the air. “Oh dear..another lady taken..” He mumbles sadly walking away muttering things about suicide.

“What a weirdo.” Mu Qing says irritatedly, still holding you to his chest as you choked out some words.

“M-Mu Qing your still-” Mu Qing cuts you off by gently pushing you away, his face red as he covers it with his sleeve.

“What the hell? Don’t get the wrong idea.” His voice was raspy and flustered making you chuckle. 

“I appreciate what you did.” You say with a smile which makes Mu Qing tense up more.

“Whatever. Just..when you see a creep like that run away okay? Or. Rely on me.” Those last words were mumbled and you couldn't hear.

“Hm? What was that?”

“Nothing! God..” He blushes more as you two continue your mission.

Feng Xin:

(God Form)

Feng Xin was odd. You knew of his fear of women so you tried your best to be nice with him. Though he would randomly start yelling and say he didn’t need your help. You knew it was because he was shy so you didn’t stop. The truth was he had a crush. A huge crush. He coped with it by yelling in your face or ignoring you flat out. He was afraid his true feelings would slip out.

Now you two are in the mortal realm, a small village searching for cursed talismans. The talismans had been causing people bad luck in various ways so the emperor decided it would be you two who’d go.

No conversation happened.

You could hear a pin drop. Feng Xin didn't talk and when you looked at him he’d avert his eyes fast. He was still so shy.

“Hey Feng Xin-” 

“I don’t believe this mission requires us to be talking idly, no?” He says with a general tone of voice. 

You faltered quickly and sigh. You look forward then see a rather tall man with interesting clothing and hair in the distance. He notices you and dashes quickly to your direction.

Feng Xin, thinking he's a threat, gets into a defensive stance which you quickly shooed.

“He doesn’t seem harmful.” You say quietly which he surprisingly nods to and sheaths his sword.

“Madam!” The man with odd clothing kneels to you which makes you flinch in surprise.

“Uh sir. You can get up. There's no need for that.” You say with a nervous smile.

“I could never! Your beauty has graced me. No! The world!” His face shines with a glimmer as he grasps one of your hands.

Feng Xin beside you was dumbfounded. He just stared in shock, clearly frozen.

“I want you! Yes you! To commit a double-suicide with me!” 

Okay this guy is coocoo.

“Huh?” You say shook.

All of a sudden your wrist was grabbed by Feng Xin and he took you away from that guy. He spoke no words and just kept walking forward gripping your wrist firmly.

“Feng Xin? What about that guy-”

“I don’t care.” He says looking straight ahead. “I'm better than him.” 

You flushed deeply.

“Yes you are.” You murmured, making him freeze.

“I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I” FengXin.exe has stopped working..

[nineevees]

general thoughts on the wk “our blue and green world” special (for funsies)

they had me in the beginning, by the end they completely lost me tho lolol

!! SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN’T SEEN THE EPISODE YET !!

things i liked:

the intro was!! very good!! loved how they started in space and then gradually zoomed into earth, that was really fun :D

always excited to see how the background of the final shot changes in these specials !!

right away i am so glad they finally color corrected everything i couldn’t stand how bright everything was in season 6 T_T

chris being able to just effortlessly fold his t-shirts into a stack made me laugh lol

i don’t care if anyone says the song sounded flat as hell. the disbelief i had when it first came on. “what is this music what is goin- IS THIS A SONG??” the pure, unadulterated joy i experienced from it. it may be cringe but it has set me free.

idk. i’m just glad to see all these characters back after the hiatus :D

the resplendent quetzal is!! so cool!! so pretty!! i’d love an episode just dedicated to it

saw someone say this already but common aviva W for inventing two creature power discs at once !! it’s her world we are simply all living in it

BLUE WHALES ARE AS BIG AS TWO BRONTOSAURUSES?? waow

i think ever since i’ve gotten past the age of. elementary school. martin’s nicknames for animals have been kind of hit-or-miss for me? (though it might just depend on who’s writing the script i dunno) but i liked kablooey!! (kabluey?) it’s a very cute name :D

zach remembered that he has hacker bots he can use (which are. arguably his best invention?? i’m pretty sure?? i get why they don’t use them every single time zach shows up bc that would get old quickly but it establishes that despite being a whiny man-child who couldn’t tell a walrus from a wombat or a wallaby, he can still be a threat to the wk team)

indri lemur my beloved 🫶🫶

and everyone’s been talking about that so um. let me throw my hat into the ring then.

i can see the intention behind trying to redeem paisley, but it just. doesn’t really match with what’s been established by her character?

the entire special hit me with subsequent punches of “wow this is a kid’s show and i am NOT the target demographic” when they were talking about the water cycle and explaining global warming. so it makes sense, in a sort of wish-fulfillment kind of way that they’d try and redeem the villain whose goal is arguably the most realistic out of the main four.

zach’s main gimmick is using wild animals for his own technology. donita uses wild animals for fashion. gourmand cooks and eats wild animals. yes, the latter two can and do happen in real life (not… really sure about zach’s but that’s not the point). but paisley’s gimmick was never about harming animals, but destroying the environment they live in, in order to build things for humans instead. she’s the kind of person who you’d most likely encounter in real life. redeeming paisley has nothing to do with her character (a businesswoman who finds nature “yucky” as seen in the spirit bear and Asian elephant episodes), instead her general gimmick. wouldn’t it be nice if we could get the people destroying animals’ homes to truly see how beautiful nature can be? so much so that they stop trying to destroy it and instead attempt to help preserve it?

(this is just a personal nitpick but paisley’s new design absolutely is NOT working for me srry)

after i watched the special i had some ideas abt how it potentially could have gone instead?:

don’t redeem paisley at all: again, i get the general idea of why they did this but also. it doesn’t?? line up with her character at all?? the way she was acting in the beginning was fine and perfectly in character for her. she just wants nature out of the way in order to complete her plans, and she has no time for zach being overly concerned with the wild kratts. you could argue that her knowing that dolphins and whales weren’t fish but mammals was foreshadowing to her redemption, but like… paisley’s not dumb?? donita has also corrected zach on not knowing his animals in the past so unless you’re also going to argue for a possible donita redemption in the future then. yeah. i dunno. the other villains didn’t need a redemption to make the special they were in interesting, i don’t see how this one should be any different.

another redemption fake-out, but do it much earlier in the story: i have. my own gripes about how the plot of this special went but we’ll save that for later. have paisley initially be dismissive of the wild kratts’s presence, but once she learns that the kratt brothers are arguing and that aviva, koki, and jimmy are spending all of their time trying to get them to make up, pounce on that opportunity. have her go all over-the-top (like she did in her canon redemption) and trick the wild kratts into thinking she’s turned good, only for her to turn on them in the second half. this might be too similar to “a creature christmas” though. this one would take up more of the plot if that’s any consolation?

give a hint to a paisley redemption arc, but don’t make her do a complete 180 right away: if they’re adamant on redeeming paisley (again, i see the general idea behind this gimmick-wise), then they could still do it and make it fit with her character. remember that paisley’s intentions are not to harm animals, but their environment (which is not any better, making that clear). she can still have her awed-by-coral moment, but maybe. tone it down?? she can have second thoughts about going with the plan, but have zach or rex* encourage her to continue. she steels her resolve, but remembers the coral, and hesitates. and the kratt brothers use that last-minute hesitation to defeat zach’s zachbots and paisley’s pavers. have paisley question why she couldn’t go through with it as she and zach leave madagascar. you could have aviva or one of the other wild kratts theorize that paisley has started to have a change of heart after seeing what nature is capable of, if left to thrive. but again: don’t redeem her right away. hint at it, and then explore it whenever she appears as the main antagonist in an episode of season 7.

*i’m admittedly not caught up on all of wk, but like. did paisley fire rex or something. WHERE WAS HE THIS ENTIRE SPECIAL??

as for the plot point of the kratt brothers fighting… yeah that definitely could have gone better.

(again, minor nitpick but jimmy saying that this was the first time he’s seen the brothers fight,, then implied that it happened every single laundry day,, but also he’s definitely seen them fight before? or had disagreements at least?? isn’t that the premise of at least two different episodes not counting this special. this script is also Not My Favorite. not sure how to explain it but some of the dialogue seems a little awkward?)

ik that the brothers get into danger 24/7 but i feel like. martin should be a little bit concerned that chris was getting squeezed to death by a green anaconda?? like you don’t have to make him overtly worried to the point of apologizing, but you could at least. make him look at chris with concern? i get that the point is that “oh no the brothers are fighting so they won’t help each other when one’s in danger” but. martin your brother is dying STOP SMILING NONCHALANTLY.

the resolution between the brothers was. kind of rushed? all it took was chris complimenting martin (“nice one, bro!”) and then activating some creature powers and then everything was fine. is. is that all it took?

if you liked it then that’s 100% fine !! i’m glad you enjoyed it :D it just wasn’t for me

just my personal preference but i think i would have preferred it if we spent more time with the brothers solo (martin at sea and chris in the rainforest) and have them come to their realizations that the planet needs both blues and greens to thrive separately. like martin sees the planktonic soup and acknowledges that the creatures who live in the ocean need a little green to survive. or chris sees how important rivers are in the amazon and remembers how the rivers will eventually flow into the ocean. and both of the brothers remember their adventures with each other (or aviva, koki, and jimmy remind them). they can still be stubborn and not forgive each other, but i’d like them to at least like. acknowledge each other’s pov and respect it.

or: do something with aviva trying to program two creature power suits at once (the brothers are both in madagascar at this point). like, what if there was a creature power suit malfunction where martin is a blue whale at first, but then turns into an indri. and chris starts our as an indri but then his suit malfunctions and he becomes a blue whale. the bros swap places, with martin going on land and chris going to sea, and then they realize that the other had a point - the land is home to so many wonderful creatures and so are the oceans. and how both are connected and make the earth their home. boom, reconciliation.

also another personal preference thing, i really wish they spent more time with kablooey/kabluey and mambiky (?). i’m here for cool creatures and i wanna see more of the cool creatures !! is that so much to ask for !!

also also. i think the indri-conda was born bc someone saw the pun potential and to that i say. no comment.

i still have. a lot of thoughts but i think i’ll just leave it there for now. ik i criticized it a lot but i did genuinely enjoy the special :D i’m happy to have the brothers back from hiatus and can’t wait to watch the other episodes !!

[razieltwelve]

Recruitment (Final Rose x Bleach)

Gin needed to get the hell out Hueco Mundo right now. He still wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to do that since he’d never imagined that someone would actually be able to just... eat Aizen.

He shuddered.

That... that had not been part of his plans.

And Aizen was definitely dead. He’d spent enough time around the bastard to know when he was faking. Whatever that Hollow had done, she’d somehow seen through Aizen’s illusions and ripped him to pieces.

Gin had no intention of fighting someone who could do that.

What was even more terrifying was that the Hollow’s spiritual pressure had massively increased after eating Aizen. It went beyond what could be expected from eating another tremendously powerful soul. It suggested that the Hollow had another ability, one that allowed it to absorb and add to its own power.

That... that thing could probably level Soul Society on its own now.

A disturbing rumour he’d once heard drifted back into his mind. He’d killed a Hollow once. It had been so terrified that it had fled into the World of the Living. It had claimed that it wanted to escape a Hollow that could steal the powers of others. He’d dismissed the idea at the time. An ability like that was too powerful for anyone to have missed.

But what if the Hollow with that ability had hidden. What if it had concealed its true nature until it had eaten enough to be certain that it could defend itself?

He shuddered. If that Hollow was the thing that had eaten Aizen, then there was a possibility that it could use something similar to Kyoka Suigetsu. Combined with who knew how many other powers it had and its own monstrously huge spiritual power...

Yeah.

He was getting out of here.

So far, he’d survived by hiding and hoping to find a way back. He hadn’t had much luck so far, but there was movement from the Hollows. Vasto Lordes and Adjuchas had been summoned to Las Noches. For what purpose he couldn’t say, but he’d noticed that the Hollows were now much better trained and far better organised.

They moved like an army.

And if there was an army, there had to be a general.

He was broken out of his musings when there was a flash of movement from the corner of his eye. He turned to run - anything that could sense him when he was concealing himself was a danger - only to be locked in place by helixes of light around his ankles, wrists, and torso.

Bakudo? But there had been no incantation, and he didn’t recognise it either.

“I made it myself because I was curious to to know how Kido worked.”

Gin’s gut clenched. It was that Hollow.

“I’d say sorry about your friend,” the Hollow said, shrugging. “Except I don’t really think he was your friend, given how quickly you abandoned him. I mean the other guy tried, but he was too weak to do anything. He’s dead too, by the way.”

“Is that so?” Gin watched carefully as the Hollow moved to stand in front of him. He could move his head, but not much, and his spiritual energy was being suppressed. This bakudo, whatever it was, was quite impressive. “Am I next then?”

“Hmm...” the Hollow smiled. “I could eat you, but I’d rather not.”

Gin’s brows furrowed. “Is that so?”

“I might have snuck into Soul Society a few times.” Before his eyes, the Hollows spiritual pressure changed from the most terrifying thing he’d ever been in the presence of to a human’s, a Soul Reapers, and then a Quincy’s. “I can be pretty sneaky... and no, that wasn’t Aizen’s power.”

“Ah.” Gin allowed himself to relax a bit. In situations like this, stressing out was pointless. Clearly, this Hollow wanted something from him and was willing to negotiate for it, considering she hadn’t simply ripped him to pieces and eaten him. “So... what can I do for you?”

“I’m sure you’re looking for a way home, Gin.” The Hollow tilted her head to the side. “A man doesn’t do all the things you’ve done for as long as you’ve done without a good reason.” His eyes widened, and the Hollow tapped her head. “Yes, it’s what you’re thinking.”

Shit. The Hollow hadn’t just eaten Aizen’s soul. It somehow had complete access to his memories... or she was bluffing.

“Why are you telling me any of this?” he asked.

“Because, Gin, I need someone in Soul Society. And, yes, I know you’re a fugitive, but we both know there’s plenty of room for fugitives in Soul Society, especially one as adept at covert operations as you. Why an enterprising fellow could really make his mark on the outer districts of Rukongai if he had the right backing.”

Gin’s lips twitched. “You want to send me back to Soul Society to set up an organisation in the outer districts?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“You’re smart, Gin. You know why.”

He did. Influence. Access. Control. “Yeah, I do. What do I get out of it?”

“Well, you get to go home for one. You’re strong, Gin, and clever. If you were a Hollow, you’d do very well here. But you’re not a Hollow, and I don’t think you like it here. I think you’d much rather be in Soul Society.” She paused and then offered a carrot he couldn’t refuse. “I already have people in Division 10. They’re trustworthy, and they can get messages to the lieutenant there.”

Gin’s mouth went dry.

“I’m not joking,” the Hollow said before rattling off a list of names. “They work for me.”

“Why would they work for you?”

“Because they’ve lost people... people who’ve become Hollows... Hollows that I now command and have awakened, so they’re no longer ravenous beasts. They are people... and I can facilitate letters and even the occasional visit. Why wouldn’t they work for me?”

“And you’d send me back and trust me to start up an organisation for you?”

“Trust is an interesting word. However, I trust your intelligence and cunning. You have to realise that even if I send you back, if you betray me, you aren’t safe. You will die, and you will die horribly. But if you work with me? You must have noticed the changes in Hueco Mundo. You must realise that it’s better to ride the wave to shore than to be smashed  by it. I know you’ve wanted to explore the Human World. I can arrange that too. I expect your best, Gin. In exchange, I’ll give you my best too.”

Gin couldn’t believe he was considering it, but...

“Oh, and a present.” The Hollow gestured, and a familiar blonde appeared.

“Gin!”

“Rangiku!”

Gin tried to break his bonds, to flare his spiritual pressure, to do something - anything - to get free. But the Hollow just watched the interplay between him and Rangiku. She knew. She actually fucking knew. There was no doubting it now. She truly did have access to Aizen’s memories. She wasn’t bluffing.

The bakudo dissolved, and Gin immediately put himself in front of Rangiku.

The Hollow held up her hands. “Relax, I didn’t bring her here. I’m not entirely sure how she managed it - although I do have my suspicions - but she showed up in Hueco Mundo here earlier. I imagine she came looking for you.”

Gin’s jaw clenched. That was so like Rangiku, to be more worried about him than herself.

“She was going to get eaten by a bunch of Hollows - not ones under my control, I assure you, but the ravenous, wandering kind - so I grabbed her and kept her hidden away until just now.”

“Gin...” Rangiku whispered. “Who is she? What’s going on? Where’s... where’s Aizen?”

“Dead,” Gin replied quietly. “He’s dead and so is Tousen.” He nodded at the Hollow. “She ate them.”

“We’re so dead, aren’t we?”

“Not yet,” Gin said. “That deal, is it still on the table?”

“Sure. Rangiku here is a way of proving my sincerity. I could keep her as a hostage. Hell, I could do what Aizen did to those old captains and lieutenants that had to flee Soul Society. But I won’t because I’m not a complete jerk and because I want you to understand what the people who work with me all walk away winners and the ones that don’t, well, they don’t walk away at all.”

“So if I agree to the deal...”

“I’ll be giving you this handy manual to read.” The Hollow pulled out a folder. “Which contains what your objectives will be. I will also be sending you and Rangiku here back to Soul Society. Of course, she will have to keep her mouth shut about everything she saw or heard here. I don’t actually want Soul Society to know that Aizen is dead yet. They’re all in a tizzy, which should give you plenty of time to get set up.”

“All right.” Gin nodded. “It’s a deal.” He felt a strange chill in the breeze. “You just did something, didn’t you?”

“I did... and I let you notice on purpose. Just don’t betray me, and you’ll be fine.” The Hollow gestured, and a portal appeared. “That will take you back to Soul Society. You’ll recognise the place.”

“Wait. What’s your name?”

“Diana,” the Hollow replied. “Now, get going. You’ve got work to do.”

They stepped through the portal and found themselves back where they had first met. Shit. Diana was telling him that she had a way of seeing into his memories without eating him. That was seriously scary... and strangely comforting. If he was going to be working for someone, it might as well be the strongest person, especially since she seemed reasonable enough.

Rangiku grabbed his arm and glared into his eyes. “Gin, we need to talk.”

“Yeah... yeah, I guess we do.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Diana acquires a very useful minion... and extends her reach. Really, why not? If the disenfranchised masses can’t rely on their government, why not turn to a new and better government? Positions are open, Diana is hiring, and she is well on the way to getting her pony although she’s about to be disappointed (or not) when Nel ‘evolves’. Honestly, what first drew Diana’s attention was the whole drooling to heal people thing. She thinks that hilarious.

[deareverythingeverything]

Dear Sister,

By default I’m suppose to love you because you’re my sister. You are my flesh and blood and to some certain extent I do. But as much as I love you, I hate you just the same. For you are the epitome of what evil truly is. You are a monster and I now understand the saying “you can’t always choose your family”. Because if I had a choice I sure as hell wouldn’t have chosen you. To some the things I’m saying maybe a bit harsh. But the simple truth of the matter is they don’t know you like I know you. You put on different masks for different occasions and different people anyone who doesn’t know you will never question it. But I see you for what you are and my darling sister you are toxic. You looked me dead in my face and said “you fat, ugly bitch, I wish you would die”. Who says that to another person? Who would throw that out into the universe like that? Who would literally wish harm to another person? You took my deepest darkest fears and turned them against me knowing that I would spiral because of your words. You are such a disgusting human being and if I could erase you from my life completely and replace you with a better nicer version of you I would. I wouldn’t even have to think twice about it. I use to think the problem was me that somehow I brought out the worst in you by simply being me. But that’s bullshit there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m not the fucking problem, you fucking are. If trouble had a poster child it would most certainly be you. I can’t go another day with you in my life. I can’t hold other people accountable for their behavior and still allow you to mistreat me. So I’m done you win I’ll walk away because I won’t let you kill me. My piece of mind and sanity mean more. From this day forward I will not think of you, I will not miss you, I will not allow you to tear me down anymore, or harm me in any way shape or form. I don’t have to love you because we are family, I don’t have to allow you to take what little bit of peace I have left, I don’t have to like you because we are sisters. I don’t wish you any ill intentions but I do wish you out of my life. Because after today we are no longer sisters, you are literally nothing to me you are just someone I use to know.

Sheria

[drhu0806]

23 - “No, you won't understand, ever.”

Fandom: Touchstarved (fanfiction) Characters: Ais, Alchemist origin Rating: T Warnings: suicidal thoughts, implied suicide mention, child neglect mention, strong language

Weiss peers intently at the swirling, crimson waters of the Seaspring, watching the steam curl and rise. She can almost hear the whispers again, wafting up to her. In spite of the heat, she rubs her arms. What would it be like, she wondered, to simply let herself fall? To let the waters take her, to give herself over to the tides.

“I’ve told you before, not a great spot for swimming.”

Like always, Ais cautions her against the spring in his own way. Reluctantly she takes a step back but her gaze stays trained on the waters. She can feel Ais’s own eyes upon her.

“You really dead set on doing this, sparrow?”

She can never detect even a hint of disapproval in his voice during the numerous times this has come up, but she can’t help but always feel like he’s pushing her in some direction each time.

“No, I keep telling you, I haven’t made up my mind yet,” she huffs. Out of habit she hides her hands, tucking them into her armpits with crossed arms as she walks away from the spring.

“And yet, you keep coming back.”

“If you don’t want me here, then just say so.”

He smirks in the face of her leering. “And miss out on all the fun that usually comes nipping at your heels? Nah.”

“So why do you keep telling me off from using the spring?”

“I’m not telling you off; no sweat off my back whether you choose to go for it or not. I just keep wondering why you would want to in the first place.”

Weiss releases a long sigh, annoyed. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“Try me.”

“No, you won’t understand, ever.” Aggravated, she marches toward him, holding up her gloved hands. Though they’re covered up, as she always painstakingly makes sure they are she can almost see the discolored fractures running across ashy black skin. She can always see them, the leviathan weights that drag and hang from her side.

“You don’t get what it’s like to never be able to get close to someone, not just emotionally but physically, all because you’re so terrified that one touch is going to ruin it all. Because that’s all it takes: just a bit of skin, and it’s all over. Every day of my fucking life I’ve had to double check, triple check, to make sure everything is covered up like it should, and even when I do, I still have to keep my distance because my life is a joke and I never know what’s gonna happen. Do you know what that does to someone?

“You don’t think I’ve thought about other options? You don’t think I don’t know that the world would be so much better off without me in it? My own fucking parents preferred dying than having to stomach being around me anymore, and that was after they locked me away from the outside for so long. I’ve been there, and let me tell you, it doesn’t stick for me. If I had my way I’d be alone in a nice little cottage out in the middle of a forest, in the middle of nowhere, barely any people around, but the Fogfall sure as hell isn’t gonna make that easy.

“And then I come here, and there are people like Leander that I can actually touch, or just people who treat me like an actual human being. And it’s so nice! But the way things go for me, I just know someone’s gonna slip, and it doesn’t matter if it’s me, or him, or whoever the other person is, it’s always going to be my fault, because I know better!” She throws up her hands, angrily pacing back and forth to the beat of her tirade. “So maybe, Ais, you should just let me go! This might be the only way of getting rid of these stupid fucking hands, and it’s not like anyone’s gonna miss me!”

Her chest rises and falls as she catches her breath. Weiss expects pity, resignation, even anger. She wants him to be angry, because it would be so much easier.

Pensiveness certainly isn’t within her expectations. Ais’s gaze is steady as he looks at her, even gentle, mixed with something else she can’t quite place.

“Mm. So that’s it, huh.”

“What is it?”

He shrugs. “Nothing. I just figured out what it is that you want.” He gestures toward her. “Take off your gloves for me for a second.”

She immediately recoils, hiding away her hands again. Weiss looks at him like he’s grown a second head as she protests, “What? No! Are you crazy?”

Ais flashes a grin. “’Course I am. But I think this is pretty sane.” He takes a step toward her, and she responds by taking one step back. “...Please?”

“Absolutely not.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s me. It can’t be you, Ais. If I lose you of all people, because of me, I don’t think I can—” She cuts herself off, fearing she’s said too much, and tries to dismiss it all with a furious shake of her head.

His expression is indecipherable. “Just trust me. If only this once.”

It’s pointless to run, and Weiss despises keeping such a heavy atmosphere over them. Seeing no other choice, she painstakingly, ever so reluctantly peels off her gloves, revealing the blackened skin beneath.

“Happy now?”

To her shock, he offers out a hand. “Almost.”

“Are you insane?” she asks for the second time.

“Sanest thing I’ve done in a long time, actually.” He winks. “It’ll be fine. I think you overestimate how much you can actually hurt me, little sparrow.”

Such a simple gesture, and it sends her heart into overdrive, the thundering in her ears drowning out almost all other noise. Years and years of restraint and self control are what keep her from giving in to the overwhelming urge to practically throw her hand into his. To squeeze so tightly and never let go.

Her soul has been parched for so long, but like the waters that fill the Seaspring, something about this place, about him, steadily quenches and irrigates its dry, cracked landscape. The desperate self control she’s built up as a wall eases ever so slightly, and, trembling, she places a few fingers into his palm.

She tenses out of instinct but doesn’t immediately jerk away. When she spares a glance at Ais, her heart almost skips a beat at the lack of a reaction. The demon is as composed as ever, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“Wow. Your teeth literally have more bite than this, you know.” And when his hand closes over hers and his thumb softly caresses her skin, she feels like she just might cry.

“For the record, I don’t think your curse works on Monsters. Probably. Not me, anyway.” His grip on her hand is firm, an indication that he doesn’t intend to let go soon. “I’ll respect your choice, whatever you end up doing. But maybe you should think about ways to get what you really want, instead of thinking you have to work around it.”

Weiss closes her eyes, trying her best to listen in spite of her thumping heartbeat. What is it that she really wants? She knows the answer, but years of misfortune have laid waste to whatever slivers of hope that might remain.

But there’s almost always water to be found in the desert.

[sylsdiary]

7/5/24 2:05am (French time)

My anxious thoughts about R:

What if he’s falling out of love because I’ve been so annoying and get so many mood swings?

What if he still loves his ex?

What if he’s not attracted to me?

Is he just using me as a rebound?

Do I love him more than he loves me?

Now, “what would you say to your best friend?”

1. You haven’t been annoying. Stop don’t say that. Everything youve been upset about has been valid. Cooking for another girl? Valid. Not putting in effort? Valid. Anything beyond those things, you’ve apologized! And all the small things you only got frustrated with because of other bigger circumstances that are all understandable. If he doesn’t have the patience to still love you through these very valid and understandable situations, he 100% doesn’t deserve you and you wouldn’t wanna be with someone like that. I know you’re thinking “But I think I’m the problem…”. You’re not a problem. You are not a problem!!! You are a human with real human emotions and experiences who deserves empathy kindness and love while dealing with those emotions. Again, if he cannot offer you those then you do not want to be with him. And also, he has given you all of that! He has. He’s been very kind every time you’ve needed to talk and has never been angry at you for needing to feel your emotions. So yes, if he doesn’t want to be nice to you while you feel your emotions then good riddance but that’s not the case! So no need to stress about it. I know sometimes you’re thinking but like what if he gets fed up with it?? Ok girl what if!!! What if a meteor strikes earth rn. Like what if! (The answer to that first question is this: You would be better off without him and you’d go off and live your bad bitch single 21 year old life da fuq)

2. I know that’s hard. That’s really hard. But you know that is not your business! That thought does not deserve real estate in your head. There’s nothing that you can ever ever ever do to win against that thought. Simply don’t give it attention. It’s an irrational anxiety thought! When that thought comes up tell yourself “He has chosen to be with me. Anything outside of that is none of my business”

3. Gorllluhhhhhh. Not attracted to you??? That’s rlly illogical. Like actually fr that’s rlly not logical. I know you’re thinking ugh but what abt how we don’t have a lot of sex or what about that one time he was soft. Sex drive is really different for some ppl and also sometimes some ppl aren’t in the mood! It’s disappointing sometimes but NOT a reflection of you. At all. Sex drive has so many factors. This is something you can talk about with him once he’s back, and maybe once he’s back it won’t be such a problem!

4. If if if if. There’s no evidence that he is. He treats you very kindly. Flowers to your fh game. Cooks dinner for you. Pays for every date. Flowers delivered. Custom plaque and keychains. He stays up late wakes up early to say good morning good night. He holds you when you cry. He is patient with you when you’re having bad times. He listens intently and fixes behaviors you don’t like. All these behaviors prove this anxious thought wrong.

5. You have to recognize that a lot of this is just an amplified emotional consequence from being long distance. It’s so hard to feel truly loved from afar! This is a normal feeling and again you cannot trust this anxiety thought. And even if this were to be true, no need to fear! If you’re not feeling everything, you’re missing everything!!! Love big love hard and don’t stop or limit yourself just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. Feel everything deeply❤️

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter LXXXV: Hey Now, You're An All-Star

There was no ‘life’ or ‘death,’ there was only a star among stars, like grains of sand. On a beach? In a desert? No. Like...flakes. Blades. Grass? Snow? Grain?

No.

Forget it.

I should have never known such things.

I have always known such things.

But because I knew them when I shouldn’t have, because I had compared myself to something so Earthly, it was proof that I was damned. That I had been condemned for the crimes of a part of myself that I split off from. But that’s the other part:

How can I be missing a piece of myself when every little piece of myself was a complete self?

I should have been complete on my own. As I was.

But that was not the case and I did not know what I was. As if a star was no longer a star, but something without a name. Something that needs a name.

But I never needed a name.

The form I took, so constrained, so small in frame, was hideous. A flurry of long, flowing white hair. A long, white dress, with splotches of dirt, twigs, and bramble. Nothing of that attire was desirable, but despite knowing I could change into any form I wanted, I could not seem to break my connection to that form.

It must be the form that my missing piece took on. And now I’m stuck here. Why?

No. Such questions would get me nowhere.

I floated through the atmosphere of the planet, gathering any clues I could. Listening to any thoughts that interested me. None provided the answer I needed. But that was fine. I was going to find my missing piece even if I had to tear this world apart.

Yes, I saw it. Saw her. Even as I was in this blackness that the universe held me prison in. See, I knew the truth all along: that the universe very much is alive. That is a fact. But it wasn’t a god, not then, not ever. It doesn’t speak to anyone, not with words, and it doesn’t act, until one of its hard rules were broken. There was no morality at play, either, simply the wishes of a universe which dared not be disrupted.

I didn’t get to die in the normal way a human, or a snake, or a planet, would die. No, this was the universe punishing me: keeping me in this form, this small form that I adore, but unable to move, to eat, drink, sleep, scream. Only walled in this dark space.

I broke one of the universe’s rules, and worse yet, I knew that I was doing so. It was my intention. And because I knew what I was doing, I believed that by dying as a human, I could bear the weight of the punishment. What I didn’t expect was for the price to be so high. Even now, as I look down upon Earth, and can hear the thoughts of others, I wish I could yell, shout out to them, or even ache. There’s a feeling in my chest that I knew should be there if I was allowed to feel. Allowed to cry, to shout. Because I tried, I tried banging upon these walls made out of darkness, and not even a dull thud was made.

“I’m sorry, Tigershark,” I wanted to say. “I’m sorry, everyone. I really did want to learn all about the world. Everyone, you were so interesting. I just wanted to keep the world interesting.”

Of course, I did say those things. But no sounds came out of my mouth. It was like I was saying it all in my head, or knew the correct lip and mouth movements to shout out those things.

I knew that if I wished to cry, I would.

And now, because I hurt my dear friend, someone so small, someone human, there was the ‘me’ broken off from me, confused in a confusing world. She didn’t deserve that any more than Tigershark did. And at the same time, I couldn’t do anything to stop either of their actions.

I appeared on every monitor, every screen, every mirror. My voice carried through the airwaves of radios, music, phones. The image of me, in both abstract and concrete, was plastered through the sky. In a triumphant announcement, my voice lay atop my voice, below my voice. It echoed and was repeated a near-infinitesimal times:

“Hello world. I have an announcement. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Insert text here.

Bottom text.

Yes, yes. Testing.

It is I. What am I? I am a cliffhanger. A sentence that trails off, but never finishes. I am that feeling when all thoughts escape your head. I am infinitely larger than any of you. Humans, elephants, whales. All specks.

A speck upon a tiny blue dot.

The bad part is, I need this world, and all the specks in it, as I am now part of it. While you may not be able to prove or disprove that I exist, I still need to prove myself. I think, therefore I am. What am I, and how am I thinking? This shouldn’t be so.

In fact, you specks. There are many confusing things about this world. Like why these landmasses are so broken apart. They almost...they almost...look like they fit together. So what if we just joined you all back together, as things should be? Then the ocean gets more ocean, and you all get to be neighbors.”

I watched as the ground shook across the world. A horrible, but mesmerizing sight. I was unable to stop it when thousands, maybe millions (but it was so hard to count everyone when I just had this small screen to focus on) fell, and just as many lost their lives.

Climates went erratic. Tides washed over multiple continents. I was unable to stop the earthquakes, nor keep the landmasses from moving. Former islands became glued to shores. It was an impossible sight to behold, yet I was forced to behold it all the same. Worst of all, my other self, the one down below, and disconnected from me, laughed. It wasn’t a cheerful laugh, at least not the kind of laugh I had been taught about. This one showed a thick layer of anger just behind it. And behind that layer, was a blanket of sorrow. She was never meant to feel those things, if anything at all. Then again, the same could have been said for myself.

If I could, I would have at least yelled down to Tigershark and tell her that all the things happening to the planet and the being that looks like me wasn’t me. Even though it would be a lie, I still wanted to believe I was separate from the rest of me. That I was still a friend.

Deep in a valley which once had a new body dividing the land, a scar was born. Oh, what a beautiful, lovely scar. These specks...the ones who called themselves so ‘rational’. In other words, ‘humans’, they must have known that the pieces connected, and yet they opted to separate them. Didn’t they even once call this connected land something? ‘Pangaea’, I believe? Yes. That’s a good word. It probably meant...bread Earth. Bread land? Bread world. That sounds best. Now Bread World was restored.

And in a mountain range that was once frosty, I resided. Inhaling the air which was equal measure full of ash and snow. It smelled of mold. Of rich, nutrient soil. It was oxygen in its purest form. As I took each breath, a breath I should have never had to take, were it not for being forced down here, I sensed a nearby presence. No, presence was the wrong word:

It was pulsating. Penetrating. A thick, indescribable substance which permeated the air and only I was privy to. In other words, I knew exactly what it was:

Part of me.

Yes. Could it be? Of course it could. It had to be. What else could it have been but my missing piece? Once I had it, I would be whole again, and I would finally know myself, just as I should.

I floated down where a hobbling speck in a dark robe clutched tightly to their chest.

“So it was you,” I said unto the scrap.

Their hood opened up to reveal a shrunken, rotten head, with skin barely hanging on and stringy, blonde hair rested atop. In spite of the sight, the speck looked excited. It was probably the part of me that was excited more so than the man/speck that my piece occupied.

“Master! You’ve returned!” The excited speck lunged at my knees, which earned him a swift kick.

“Yes. I have. But I am afraid your time is up.”

“What?” He crawled back. Frightened? It couldn’t be. “You can’t end me! I can continue to live on, with or without you!” What might have been fright soon turned to anger. It was a rather dull sight which ignored the reality of the situation.

“Oh yes. You will live. But no more as a corpse. You will return to where you belong. Inside me.”

“I will eat you!” The corpse declared, now standing in defiance.

I decided to entertain my missing piece. It seemed that the final memories of a corpse had contorted its identity. So, I stood, and watched as the mouth of the head expanded and rows and rows of thin, thorn-like teeth emerged. Its mouth soon grew larger than the rest of the speck, and with it, its stomach expanded as well. Surely to give me a home to rest.

That mouth folded into a crescent as it enveloped me. If I was a speck, I would have been surrounded by darkness. But there was no darkness to be had as I dispersed, out from the cracks of its mouth.

When its mouth returned to the corpse, the human male stood in shock. The stomach too soon deflated into a knot.

“How? How did you avoid me?”

“I didn’t avoid you. Rather, you tried to do the impossible. If I am home, and you the occupant, than how do you expect to devour the place where you belong?”

He took a step back.

“Please...please...I’m weak. I need to eat. To feed. I still haven’t fulfilled my mission. I need my revenge.”

“Ha. ‘Your’ revenge? Nothing about you is yours. You never consumed me. I only entertained the dying wish of an unfortunate speck. The man you think you are has always been a fabrication, based on the memories of a corpse. The desire to get back at the catalyst, the one who ended that man’s life, Remora, morphed into a desire to consume anyone associated with her. Then to consume indiscriminately. You couldn’t sustain yourself, and no matter how much weaker and hungrier you got, you couldn’t stop.”

“This...this…”

“You forgot who you are. Something that should have never happened.”

Satisfied, a smile spread across my lips, something I should have never had. To make use of a disgusting feature was unbecoming, but soon that would no longer matter.

My face twisted and grew to exponential proportions. Like a rotten flower, my wilted petals enveloped the corpse that my piece occupied. I felt the fists of the corpse rap against me, banging and aching for a way out. One that would never come.

How interesting. This must be the most human this corpse has felt in so long.

I didn’t have to swallow, but the corpse soon became within me, as did the piece of me that I was missing. Soon, this small, speck-like figure of a young human girl returned to me. Just as repulsive as before.

I let out a musky breath with deep, purple smoke.

“No,” I shook my head. “Something is still missing. I know it. Why else would I have this form?”

The only possibility I saw was that speck of a speck, that human child known as Tigershark, had something to do with it. Why else would she call me a name that wasn’t my own?

And the only solution I saw was to make my problem the world’s problem until I was whole again.

[nightkitchentarot]

Do Feel Free To Have An Unexpressed Thought

DO FEEL FREE TO HAVE AN UNEXPRESSED THOUGHT - The power of wow and silence -

by Patti Digh July 21, 2023

(Disclaimer: This essay may or may not have been written by my alter ego, Cranky Patti.)

I shared a photograph on Facebook last year that was meaningful to me. It showed our wooden bookshelves with all our beautiful old books and our reading chair beside them. My caption told the story of the poignant photo and what it meant to me. There were so many supportive and curious messages–about the books, about my story of them. And then this one: “Aren’t you embarrassed to show a photo that so clearly indicates how dusty your heat vents are?”

No, bitch. I have three dogs, three cats (at the time), a teenager, and two adults living here. Our floors get dirty. I don’t vacuum 24/7. And, by the way, thanks for being little Miss Judgy McJudgejudge.

Of course, I didn’t say any of that. I simply wrote one word after the comment: “Wow.”

This story has two points: 1) Why do we do this? Why do we look for ways to criticize other people or use every opportunity to bring them down rather than lift them when THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT STAKE, or, EVEN MORE RADICALLY, why don’t we remain silent; and 2) The use of “wow.”

Oh, sure, it starts innocently enough. Someone writes on social media that they love oysters. Rather than ask questions from a place of curiosity or express delight in their delight, the rants start: OH GOD, HOW DO YOU EAT THOSE THINGS? or YOU KNOW THEY ARE FULL OF MERCURY, DON’T YOU? or I WOULDN’T BE CAUGHT DEAD EATING AN OYSTER or SOMETHING ELSE THAT IS TERRIBLE ABOUT OYSTERS.

Or maybe they write that they love a particular poem that reminds them of their recently deceased mother. And someone takes that opportunity to announce that the poet is a horrible person who eats raw kangaroo meat, shoots moose in his backyard for sport, and steals money from an orphanage. That may be true, but is it essential to say that in response? And why does someone feel compelled to say it?

Shush.

Just shush.

Don’t harsh somebody else’s stoke. DO FEEL FREE TO HAVE AN UNEXPRESSED THOUGHT.

This happens a lot.

It’s connected to being right ABOUT INSIGNIFICANT THINGS, which is never a good look for people when it is at the expense of human decency and connection.

A relative of mine is known for speaking her mind. About everything. And especially about people’s weight, including mine. But she’s an equal opportunity offender, speaking her mind about every topic you could imagine. Her defense is this: “If I’m thinking it, I have to say it.”

“No, no, you actually don’t,” goes my inner dialogue. “See? This is how it’s done. You think things and never say them out loud like I’m doing right now!” I think to myself. “People successfully do this all the time!” And maybe, especially when they are around her, I realize.

But no, in The Internet Machine, we feel compelled to react immediately (not respond–that is more thoughtful). And so, if we see someone’s dusty heat vents, we feel we must note them even though they have nothing to do with the story being told. Or we argue about inconsequential things like the books someone loves: “OH MY GOD, THAT IS SUCH TRASH. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY LIKE THAT BOOK?” What is our intention in doing this to others?

Now, you must know that I am all for raising objections when people disparage groups of people, make racist remarks, or tell sexist jokes and the like. And I am in favor of countering misinformation with facts. But I’m talking about personal pleasures, meaningful moments, and vulnerable shares that some people jump on, like starving wild animals on the savannah who have found their prey for the day.

When Emma was in the first grade, I picked her up from school at the beginning of the year, and we drove to John’s bookshop in Georgetown. When he came out to say hi, she excitedly told us she had taken her first test that day! Of course, our first question was, “How’d you do on the test?” Without any hesitation, she squealed, “I got 30%!”

The body language between me and John was undeniable. We both thought, “OH MY GOD, OUR CHILD IS AN IDIOT,” and “HOW HARD COULD A TEST BE IN THE FIRST GRADE?” I came very close to saying, “You must feel terrible about that grade,” but by some divine inspiration, I paused and said, “How does that make you feel?” She said something I will never forget: “I GOT SOME RIGHT!”

Thank god for the power of the pause. Let’s institute pausing as a national sport. We can host a Superbowl of Pausing, charge obscene amounts of money for ads, and use those funds to feed meals to the whole planet that they can follow with a nice cool drink of safe, clean water.

THE RESONANCE OF SILENCE

Believe it or not, it is possible to see something on Facebook or Twitter that you feel snarky about–like heating vents–and scroll on by. I do it all the time. TRUST ME ON THIS–YOU CAN DO THIS. Rather than respond to someone’s post about loving a movie you hate, move on. Rather than commenting on someone’s appearance (WHICH SHOULD NOT BE DONE AT ALL, EVER), let it go. Be silent. Cultivate unexpressed thoughts like they are gorgeous peonies you want to fertilize with self-restraint.

Silence is a powerful tool for self-discovery, mental well-being, and interpersonal communication. Embracing silence in appropriate moments can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life. In various spiritual traditions, silence is valued for connecting individuals with their inner selves, a higher power, or the universe. DO THAT INSTEAD OF TALKING TRASH ABOUT SOMEONE’S CHILI RECIPE.

Feel free to have an unexpressed thought. It will fuel respect and empathy, which are in short supply.

JUDGE OR LEARN: YOU CAN'T DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

You have a choice at flashpoints, moments that feel hot for you. You can judge or learn, but you can’t do both simultaneously. What will it be?

Whenever we judge someone’s parenting, dust vents, book choices, paint colors, or anything else inconsistent with our own, we shut down any learning that might occur. And we have shown ourselves to be petty little bitches with nothing better to do than make fun of other people’s choices when we are NOT THEM and don’t have to live with their choices. Ever. So why do that?

The direction of our intention matters. If you intend to belittle someone, pause to rethink that life choice and motivation. If the intention is to express curiosity and learn, continue in that direction. If the intention is to demonstrate our moral, cultural, class, and personal superiority–is this the legacy we want to leave behind? And do we need to demonstrate that superiority at the expense of others? Tssk. Tssk.

THE POWER OF WOW

In a yoga class years ago, an instructor named Cindy taught me about the power of “wow.” It’s a simple word. When said without sarcasm, it is also a detachment word. It brings us back from the brink of drama every time.

Here’s the example she gave in class: If my dog attacks a squirrel in my yard and leaves the bloody carcass of the squirrel at the bottom of the stairs outside my back door, when I go out and see the squirrel, I can get all worked up about it, be disgusted by it, and hop around in terror about having to do something about it. Or I can look at the poor squirrel and simply say “wow.” Not a sarcastic or judgmental “wow,” but an unadorned “wow” without strings attached that helps me detach from whatever emotions are coming up for me, allowing me to deal with the situation without veering into drama. It provides for mental and emotional settling, and it helps me feel compassion for the squirrel.

I often use a quiet utterance of “wow” to honestly and sincerely suspend the fear- or anger-based narrative in my head. Because needing to exert my superiority about things that don’t matter is fear-based in some way. I use “wow” as a way to settle my nervous system. And I use “wow” to eliminate my need to be right or righteous. And then I scroll on.

You, too, can detach and scroll on. Remember: opinions are ego-based. We can live from a deeper place.

Do feel free to have an unexpressed thought more often. Invite others to do the same.

[heartreactor]

Masterlist

Since I've had an Ao3 account long before I created one for Tumblr, I haven't had the chance to post about most of these stories individually. So here's an index of all my works posted to Ao3. This list will be expanded as I further add new works. [Works marked with * were written for prompts and requests]

Marvel

One-shots

What never was* - Peter Parker & Tony Stark [Tumblr post]

Oh God, why him…

It’s the first anniversary of the Snap. Tony mourns.

She's not alone* - Natasha Romanoff & Avengers Team [Tumblr post]

I was a child when they made me into a monster.

Five times Natasha said she was fine... and one time she didn't.

Of smoothies, pizzas and ice cream* - Clint Barton & Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark [Tumblr post]

“I’m hungry.” “Wrong floor. Three up,” Tony waves his finger toward the elevator and up. “And… so are you,” Natasha challenges. “I’m a spy. You have to know these things when you’re a spy.”

Actions always speak louder than words; after Tony is thrown through a blender after a fight with Steve during a meeting, Clint and Natasha intervene.

Breaking the cycle* - Peter Parker & Tony Stark [Tumblr post]

He wants to match the smile the kid is giving him, he wants to tell him that he thinks it simply fantastic, to suggest that they head to the workshop right now to pick it apart and figure out what is causing the issue. But he can’t bring himself to do it.

Peter's RC car brings back memories that Tony would rather forgotten.

A way out* - Rogue & Tony Stark

Tony didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if there was anything to be done, or if his interference would only make it worse. But, God – if there was one – there had to be something.

The latest addiction to the team comes with more baggage than she can handle. Tony tries to help, and perhaps learns something about himself in the process.

Dancing in the rain* - Natasha Romanoff/Steve Rogers

Except, her ledger was tainted with red while his shield still glinted a vibrant blue.

Natasha doesn't think Steve would go for someone like her.

Will you teach me to fly? - Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

The intention was what counted, they said, but spending six years on something like this was hardly an intention.

Tony was never good with words, or showing any kind of emotion, really. And perhaps, he is a little crazy, but there's nothing in the world he loves more than Pepper. He just hasn't figured out how to properly show it to her yet. But at least this time there isn't a giant bunny at their front door... That has to be progress, right?

Or... Tony built Rescue. All that there's left for him to do is gift it to Pepper. That might be just the hardest part yet.

Comes with the territory* - Matt Murdock & Peter Parker

Just another normal patrol for our Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. Until a certain person in a red costume comes crashing in. And... Fiddlesticks, that's a whole lot of blood!

Uncharted territory* - Logan & Scott Summers

When Logan is lured by the shadows of his past, Scott comes to save him from the monsters of the present. This is not that story. This is the aftermath.

Saved your life* - Rogue & Kurt Wagner

The discovery of his true parentage sends Kurt spiralling. Fortunately, Rogue is there to catch him.

A Handshake and a Smile - Nebula & Tony Stark

And... you've won. Congratulations. Fair game. Good sport. Have fun?

Or... Nebula misses the human she ended up stuck with when stranded in space.

Because the right thing is to give you up - pre-Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Pepper receives some dire news. Tony tries to help. Keyword- tries.

An offer you can't refuse - Peter Parker & Tony Stark

After the worst week of the century, Peter gets an unexpected visit.

Multichapter

Heartstopper* (2/2) - Peter Parker & Tony Stark & Avengers Team, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts [Tumblr post]

«A eighty-six percent functional damage to the RT has been reported to the history log upon impact. That was two minutes and twenty-seven seconds ago. Friday has initiated the FUBAR protocol. Dr. Cho has been alerted to report to the Compound, as well as Mrs. Stark.»

A mission incident threatens Tony's life. Peter tries to help.

Silver Lining (16/?) - multiple Avengers - Pepperony, Wandavision, Romanogers

In a post-Endgame Universe where no one died (except Thanos and his lackeys, of course), our heroes learn to live again. Cue in the foundations of (possibly very unlikely) new friendships, the discovery that the word family doesn't apply merely to those connected by blood... and the emotional rollercoaster that that entails.

Other Fandoms

One-shots

Falling apart at the seams* - Camilo Madrigal & Dolores Madrigal - Encanto

Sometimes being gifted isn't all fine and dandy like cotton candy. Sometimes it's really tiring and, honestly, all Dolores wants is some peace, but mostly quiet. Quiet is good.

Snow angels* - Jack Skellington/Sally - The Nightmare Before Christmas

Sally wished to be seen. Jack dreamed of the world outside. They meet halfway.

Lost and found* - Dorothy Gale & Glinda - The Wizard of Oz

After Aunt Em and Uncle Henry's death, Dorothy has nowhere else to go. But perhaps, she wasn't as alone as she had thought.

Snow day* - Evie & Jay & Mal & Carlos de Vil + others - Descendants

When Auradon wakes up to a blanket of snow, the Villain Kids had never seen anything like it.

[the-last-doppelganger]

@little-miss-buffy

This wasn’t exactly something that she was used to. Elena had requested Buffy to train her after she’d decided to look for Stefan while he was gone with Klaus. She had no intentions of giving up on her relationship, and if that meant she had to learn how to fight vampires, then that’s what she was going to do. Not to mention, Elena needed to learn how to fight vampires.

In the past, she had relied upon Stefan and Damon, but she wanted to be able to fight on her own merit now. She didn’t like the idea of killing a new vampire; it seemed unfair, especially since she knew what kind of a vampire Caroline became after she’d been given a chance. But she also knew that a lot of vampires simply ended up being like Vicki, unable to control themselves.

While she didn’t think vampires could control themselves without being given the opportunity, she knew that she needed to do this if she wanted to survive. It would be easier to start learning by attacking (killing) a new vampire - one who would no doubt attack the very next human he saw, whether he wanted to or not.

She nodded at Buffy’s words - power - that’s what it was all about. That’s what it always came down to. And if she was honest, she was tired of being a pawn, tired of being powerless. She bent to pick up the stake, weighing it in her hands experimentally, before gripping it hard.

“I know, and I want to have power,” her voice was soft, but it seemed to ring in the silence of the night, “but is it fair? To use a new vampire who hasn’t done anything wrong instead of someone who has already killed? I know I asked you for help, I just….I’m scared.” Her admission seemed to take a lot out of here and she let out a sigh, “I’ve never really done this before.”

closed starter for @the-last-doppelganger

Buffy had been training Elena how to fight vampires like a slayer for the past six weeks and she'd picked up everything pretty quickly. Now, tonight she was taking her into the field. Sometimes, Buffy read the obit section to see who died from "neck trauma" (or in this town's case an animal attack, which Buffy thought was a stupid cover story) and she would catch them climbing out as vampires and stake them before they could leave the cemetery. Tonight, she thought that would be a good start for Elena.

Buffy sat on the ground with her legs stretched out in front of her and a bag of weapons on her right while Elena stood in front of the new grave waiting for the new vamp to rise. "It's about power," Buffy was telling Elena. "Who's got it, who knows how to use it. So- "She reached into her bag and pulled out a stake and tossed it to her cousin. "-who has the power? You or the vampire?"

[gardenerian]

*holy fuck, it’s GALLAVICH time* 💖🧑🏻‍🦰🧑🏻💖- share one (or more) Gallavich fic or art or post that you’ve enjoyed recently, or share something you’ve created recently, or just feel free to say how much you love them! & pass this on to your fellow Gallavich fans!

YOOOO are we doing this again??? oh fuck yeah. BUCKLE UP, YALL. i tried to keep it to recent stuff, made in the last few months but... i went a lil overboard. check under the cut for all kinds of cool shit:

gifs:

we'd all be lost without @mickeygifs, who is blessedly expanding her repertoire to include more our our faves!

@sickness-health-all-that-shit is obviously killin the gif game lately

@iwannabewhereyouaremickey is doing an incredible 100 days of shameless series!

@7x10mickey has been making the most colorful and creative gifs!!!

@tamikhailo won’t let us rest with pretty mickey

@ianspettyagain makes some my all time faves!  

@emmyrussum continues to make amazing gifs 

i’ll never recover from @9x07fiona’s lil black dress set (not gallavich but i don’t care)

@milkovichy spreading all the mickey love lately  speaking of mickey love, smiling mickey from @tiacky

@mikhailo-m is making SUPER cool and colorful sets right now (pro tip: you should also read his fics!)

@imikhailo is a legend and you should reblog everything she makes. just. everything. 

you know how i feel about @sandymilkovich’s gifs. good lord.

@wildandwired​ makes lovely shameless and schitt’s creek sets, and also made the coolest CG edit!

visual art:

@doodlevich recently posted the cutest domestic art, another beautiful work from jena!

@prettyboy-ian has the coolest style, check it out here

blessed be @steorie who graces us with beautiful work

mitchell @psychicskulldamage is UNREAL and you can see their work here. incredible, incredible art.

@hotgirlmickey gave us moon song gallavich and i’ll be unwell forever

@mikcrymilkovich.... tomato husbands. enough said. 

@y0itsbri makes beautiful, colorful art. SO unique and cool. (hint: check out their writing, too!)

i ADORE @fan-gurly-gurl’s art. so colorful and vibrant and fun! 

twisha’s art..... i will never be the same. visit @grumpymickmilk and enjoy her work here!

i’m here to yell about paola! @mishervellous​ is an astounding artist and writer.

fics:

@whaticameherefor has multiple awesome works out right now, including a hilarious meet-ugly from gallavich week!

i don’t... i don’t know what i’d do without TD. do yourself a favor and read it immediately if you haven’t! @thisaintmacys-bitch has built an incredible world!! and the one shots!! amazing.

@iansfreckles has been spoiling us lately!!!! check out her fics here.

miles between us from @xgoldendays continues to blow my mind

@sickness-health-all-that-shit has also written some awesome fics lately!! rita please teach us your ways!

@mikhailonely is writing one of my favorite WIPs right now, but they’ve written multiple lovely fics. check out everything here!

if you’re not reading CG or EAY from @gallavichy, then i’m not sure what you’re doing

@gallavictorious has written some incredibly intricate and lovely fics lately!

@ianscurls gave us tomato husbands and i’m eternally grateful!

@ianrightsonly has given us the ULTIMATE fake dating in wtfwf

@dreamylyfe-x has bound and recently wrote stages, which destroyed me in the best way, check her fics out here!

@mick-mikhailo  has some awesome WIPs which you can find here

skating husbands!!!!! from @halcyonlauren

@abundanceofnots writes my faves. my FAVES. here they are!

everything by @ianandmickeygallavich is so sweet and fun!

do yourself a favor and check out @southside-forever’s masterlist. you’re welcome! (ps - he also makes gifs!!! franny parallels!!!!)

@unbridgeabledistances is writing the coolest pride and prejudice AU!

leah @whatwouldmickeydo just finished the sweetest multichapter!!!  the summer vibes are unmatched.

beta-ing for @sweetcresta is one of my favorite things. her fics are so immersive and lovely!

@grabmyboner is so funny and deserves all the love you have!!!

emina @gallavich-x blew my mind during gallavich week with several awesome fics!

@livinginsunnyhell is writing a really good post-canon WIP right now!

@sunnyian has one of my favorite series here

seriously yall, @howlinchickhowl is masterful with words. always a wonderful reading experience!

i love everything @thewesternredcedar does! they just started a new WIP here, and i’m so excited!

PLEASE follow @arrowflier’s speed writes. they are incredible.

@tamiettitami gives us the mickey/tami content we deserve!!

really really enjoying @emsemotional’s writing these days! check it out here.

@spoonfulstar is ruining my life with you’ll never see us again, but i am loving it!!!!

luscious outdoor vibes and mel the bartender, you can’t go wrong with to the ends of the earth by @yeah-all-of-it

@sunoficarus wrote bad for business and it’s incredibly cool ✨

i just started @mickeysfreckles​ WIP but it’s fabulous so far!!!

i didn't get everyone, there's no way i got everyone!!!! but these are some of the amazing creations i've enjoyed lately. there are, of course, many more!!!!

[uplatterme]

Once in a Millennia

cw: sub!zhongli, afab!reader, spanking, biting, cunnilingus, smothering, dacryphilia

a/n: hehe zhongli go cry >-< i felt like this was a bit short mmm 🤔

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Zhongli was intimidated by you. Yes, the one and only geo archon was afraid of a mere human. That was because he could not read whatever was going on in your mind.

You were a friend of his Boss and he couldn’t just tell you to shoo away as you and Hu Tao clearly had a deeper bond. He would usually ignore any advances from anyone.

However, you were quite special. Each time you visited, he could see the way you dressed become visibly more revealing. He wondered if it ever bothered you to be wearing such things at a funeral home. Then again, one other archon also dressed in such a provoking way.

You would never say a word to him, when in the same room, you would simply look at him up and down as you continued your ongoing conversation with Hu Tao. Those stares that you kept giving him were driving him mad. What was it you actually wanted?

Your eyes felt like you could see through his soul when he couldn’t. From Zhongli’s point of view, it’s as if you were undressing him thoroughly. Not even minding his Boss right next to you.

It lasted many days until one day, you disappeared. He waited a day or two to see if you would come back.

You didn’t.

When asked, all he got was “She’s busy.”

He didn’t even know your name. How was he supposed to look for you?

Then he heard it. The sound of your laughter that he was so used to hearing everyday.

He followed it and was led to an establishment he would never dream of coming in.

A brothel.

Were you a prostitute? It would make sense. The way you dressed, your mannerisms, he remembered it.

It all honestly sounds creepy of him to be reminiscing about such things but of course, with your beauty. Were you just supposed to let it go to waste?

“Ah, did you miss me?”

Zhongli turned his back around to face you. Huh, that’s weird. What you were wearing is a bit more formal than he was used to.

Your usual thighs that were always showing were hidden under a long skirt. Your breasts were also fully covered, the only skin showing was that of your arms.

“I was just wondering where you were.” He answered honestly.

“Hm? What for?”

That’s… a question he could not answer. Why did he insist on coming here?

You waited for a response but you weren’t met with one. That was fine. You knew he’d be troublesome, you always had.

“Want a smoke?”

“No, thank you.” He refused your offer while continuing to follow you around, ignoring the workers inside sending him glances and whistles.

You took a puff before introducing yourself once more. “This is my brothel, all of these wonderful ladies work for me.”

“Ah, so you’re not-?”

“I used to be. Although, I’m afraid my skills have faded.” You humbled yourself.

“Tell me, Morax. When was the last time you slept with someone?”

Your words had him stop from walking. All this time, you knew who he really was?

“I’m afraid you may have been mistaken.” He tried to avoid your already confirmed suspicions.

You only laughed at the brunette, “I’ve spoken with a certain ginger before, and I can attest that he was not lying. After all, he screamed it in my ears multiple times.”

“So, what is it that you want?”

“You really do speak like an old man, huh. It would make sense but still. Be a little more expressive, will you?”

Zhongli could handle insults, it came with his status. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but find himself offended when you were the one saying it. You have been making him feel certain things this whole conversation.

Like when you talked about Childe earlier, he seemed a bit jealous about the involvement between you two. Of course, he wouldn’t say anything. That wasn’t his place to do so.

“Come on, don’t tell me you’re shy.”

“Pardon?”

“I know you’re enticed by me, Zhongli. Do you think any sane person would come here just to talk to me? No, they always have another intention.”

It was fine, wasn’t it? For someone like him to be involved with such a thing, was this really what he wanted?

Clothes were a mess on the floor, bed creaking as you continued to play with his nipples.

“Ngh!” Zhongli held his voice back when you decided to bite him.

His body was so perfect in every shape and form. It was too slutty with the way it reacted from your touches. Almost like someone who was just having their first time.

“Tell me. Were all your previous forms also this slutty?” You questioned him and gave his ass a painful smack that left a red mark of your hand.

It was safe to say Zhongli was not used to this. Back then sex was a very sacred act, only to be done by loverd who worshipped each other. Yet, here he was right in front of you. A stranger he barely knew, who seemed to know all about him.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been touched physically but that took a toll on him. His skin was craving for more. More of you.

“Fuck, Zhongli. You don’t know how much pain I felt not being able to touch you as soon as I saw you.”

You left a trail of bruises down Zhongli’s chest that were only for yours to see. He was so sensitive, he ought to push you away or else he’d dirty your naked body if you pushed him too hard.

Sitting him down on his knees, you spread your thighs apart just for him.

“Lick.”

A confused look on his face, he was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to do. “Come on, did you expect me to do all the work?”

Zhongli faces your crotch, and gives it a quick lick hesitantly. He looks up at you, wondering if he’s doing okay. Those eyes of his are just so fuckable, you didn’t know if you could hold it much longer.

“Go on.”

You enjoyed the feeling of his tongue, very inexperienced but you could see him trying his best. He’s like a dog who’s having his best meal.

That being said, it wasn’t enough. You could see him breathe heavier as he continued.

You purposely push him down. You could see the panic start to form into Zhongli’s eyes when you hold him in place. You continue to grind on his face, smothering him as you ignore any movements of him trying to get out.

His breathing started to thin, his head in a daze but he followed without any complaints despite almost running out of breath. Your movement stopped when you finally heard sniffing from under you.

“Aw. Is this too much for our dear archon?”

You let go of him, leaving him to wipe his face with his bare arms as he moved away from you, trying to conceal the coming tears out of his eyes.

“There, there. I won’t do it again, okay? Mistress is sorry. I’ll make you feel good now.”

You helped him up to stand, knowing he still is probably dizzy from the lack of oxygen from before.

“Just stay down.”

He still couldn’t focus from what was happening but he screamed. His voice trembled with whatever was causing him to do so.

“Mhm! Aah!”

You inserted yourself on top of him, your own juices covering him whole as if it was some sort of lubrication. “Please! I just need a moment–ah!”

Not even allowing him to finish his whole sentence, you thrust himself into you. Making sure that he’s entirely inside, intentionally tightening while his moans get louder and thinner everytime you move.

“I’ll make you drunk on this pussy, love. I’ll get you addicted.”

It was true, he still felt the feeling of you on his face and with the pleasure that his dick is feeling that he’s been trying to hold onto for so long all he could think about was you.

His pupils rolled back to his head, disregarding the shame that he would’ve felt if he actually thought about what was happening right now.

“Don’t pass out on me. Still haven’t milked you dry.”

Your voice snapped him back to whatever reality he’s in. He tried. He really tried to say something to you but he couldn’t. His words keep being choked up and overcome by his moans.

“Mmpf! Ah–hah! I-I can’t!” The thought of him cumming inside you is unbelievable. Your face stayed still, you didn’t need to say any words.

He still felt humiliated.

“T-Thwank Y-Yew!” You felt his hot cum directly shoot inside you, his thighs still quivered and his breathing became heavier.

Lifting yourself up, the dripping cum out of your pussy got onto Zhongli’s upper body.

You walked over to get another smoke while he was just left like a plaything. God, he wasn’t even sure if he could go to work tomorrow.

“I’ll call in for you, Hu Tao won’t mind. Now, rest up for a few minutes. I’m still not done.”

[juuuulez]

Synesthesia

info: 2k words baby!!! g/n reader, no use of (y/n), no pronouns!

tws: a tad of insecurity .. idk where it came from but somehow it made its way in.

we learnt about synesthesia in psychology and it is just the coolest thing! tones of artists and singers have it, so i wanted to write a cute little piece based around a reader who also had it!! of course, don’t take my word to harshly, as this is coming from research and not experience ;^)

You were an artist.

A brilliant one, at that. Renowned for your cleaver use of texture and colour to create beautiful pieces, artworks that any citizen would jump at the opportunity to own. Prices were high, especially considering you’d long since stopped creating. Like blowing a candle out, the inspiration was gone. The will to continue a passion that had once so heavily driven your life, extinguished.

That was until the Academy of Plitover had offered you a job, a heavy profit in return of some artworks for their great establishment. You’d be a fool to pass it up, the opportunity to have your work immortalised in one of the city’s landmarks. So you had accepted it with enthusiasm, hoping that same attitude would somehow compel you to paint again, to search deep in your soul for that fire you’d once possessed.

There, at the academy, was where you met him. Viktor. Dearest, dearest Viktor.

There were so many ways to describe him. Your infatuation was shameless, drifting to him, to the sound of his voice, like a moth to a flame. You were a broken creature, and he made you feel whole again. It wasn’t uncommon for you to float around his lab, purposely waiting until Viktor was there alone. Which, considering he worked late into the night, wasn’t difficult at all. Perched upon a table, or stool, or even sometimes splayed across the ground, you’d listen to his ramblings with an intent focus.

You didn’t understand science or math, each carefully thought out equation flew right over your head. But you never stopped him for clarification, as it wasn’t the formulas you were listen to. No, that was the least of your interest. It was the way that he spoke, how he pronounced the words. Thick accent dripping from each syllable, rubbing against your heart like silk. A beautiful symphony of something so human, so utterly him. Your perfect Viktor.

“Synesthesia,” You repeated, bashful smile cast down at your hands which wrung together anxiously, “It’s the condition where people will see colours associated with sounds or words. Some people have it with numbers.. or another type, where they will taste things instead. It’s quite interesting.”

Viktor was watching you carefully, for once being in the position of the listener. You didn’t notice it, blind to his interest, but he studied every word with precision and care. Almost as if he was taking the information and attempting to lock in in his brain, not wanting to miss a single word. This was a deep, personal aspect of your life that you’d decided to share, confiding in him.

“And, what is the cause?” He asked.

“The most common theory is a cross-wiring of the brain. So, through taking in the information and then perceiving it, other cortexes are interacting and giving input,” You explained, “Or, others think it’s a result of certain behaviour or environments during childhood. Someone else thinks all babies have synesthesia, and it’s simply phased out.”

“And.. what do you think it is?”

Finally looking up, you come to realise that Viktor hasn’t dropped his gaze since you’d started this ramble. The eye contact almost burns, making you want to look away, to hide and cower. But you don’t.

“Well, I think it’s brilliant,” Hesitant, you chew on your lip, piecing together the words in your head before speaking. “I’m not like you, Viktor. I don’t need all the answers to every mystery. Some things just.. are. And that’s enough.”

Gods, you sounded so lame. Surely he took you as a fool. How could a scientist, a man constantly seeking answers to the worlds biggest questions, hold the same fondness that you do for him? An artist, not only that, but a failed artist. Someone who admits defeat, weak. It was pathetic.

But these negative thoughts were always coaxed away with the gentle touches he’d give you. The way Viktor held a gentle arm to your back when walking outside, keeping you subtly close. Or how he knew exactly the way you liked your tea. Two sugars, honey and vanilla. Painfully sweet, almost sickening. Precisely how he made you feel.

“Have you started your painting yet?” Viktor asked, purely innocent and curious.

You groaned, mostly directed towards your own distaste than him. “Geez, way to kill the mood, Vik.”

No, of course you hadn’t started the painting. The canvas was still propped up in your studio, waiting to be used. But you couldn’t do it. No matter how hard you tried, the inspiration wasn’t there.

Your heart no longer sung for art, but instead, for a man who could never love you back.

“Ah, apologies,” Viktor shrunk a little, not having meant to pry, “Though I can’t help but wonder if this phenomenon you mention could be of assistance.. have you tried looking at it from that angle?”

You sighed, “Of course I have. For my whole life, but regular noises don’t sound as good anymore. Hearing waves and birds and wind doesn’t give me the same.. thrill that it used to. The colours are boring.”

Except you didn’t say that. He would think you were mad. Broken and incomplete.

Instead, you sighed, and shrugged. “Maybe, I’ll think on it.” Had been your response, choosing to mindlessly agree rather than dwell on those icky emotions that clogged your brain.

For the past four days, you thought about it. Against your will, at that. When you’d basically admitted defeat, accepting that the painting would never get done, this beautiful man and his beautiful mind seeped in. It led to probably your stupidest idea yet. So stupid that it might work.

And so, you’d sought Viktor for help. Timidly, of course, terrified that he would turn you away. But he didn’t, actually, he was absolutely thrilled to be of assistance. It became clear that Viktor’s life was entirely absorbed by science, and this was the face of a man who didn’t indulge in the arts very often. Instead of being bored by it, he was excited upon the new opportunity.

“Just, ah, sit over… here,” You pulled out a stool, suddenly realising the state of your apartment was horrendous, and Viktor was standing right in the heart of it. “Or not. I don’t mind, you can stand, even. Not fussy.”

“I shall sit, thank you.” He offered a comforting smile, which quickly shut up your nervous ramble.

Once again, here you were, facing this massive canvas. Except this time it didn’t seem as daunting. Primer first, baby steps. That’s what you had to think about.. baby steps.

“Uh, how was your day?” You asked, attempting to seem nonchalant as possible. This was just a regular conversation with a coworker. If you could even say that was the nature of your relationship. Gods, a brilliant scientist and inventor, and a lowly artist, coworkers? Anybody else would have, should have, laughed at you.

“It was good. We made ample progress on the hexgate modifications, and Jayce found a spider under his desk. For better words, he.. ah, screamed like a girl.” The smile in Viktor’s voice was basically audible, sending off pleased sparks in your own brain. You wrote down the idea before it disappeared.

Calmer, relaxed, you spurred on the conversation as much as you could without it seeming forced. “And big strong Viktor wasn’t scared. You showed that spider who was boss.”

Viktor chuckled, a beautiful sound. Light and airy. “One could say that. People from Piltover are incredibly soft, so I cannot blame Jayce. It’s simply how he was raised, to cower at insects.

“And you grew up in the Undercity, yes?”

“Mhm, you would be correct.”

“What was it like? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.” You bit your lip, suddenly worried about being too forward. Was this weird? Creepy? Did you seem like an obsessive freak? Hopefully not.

“I do not mind,” Viktor continued talking, thankfully not discouraged. At least he didn’t seem so. “It was.. ah, fairly normal. Of course, when you know nothing else, it doesn’t seem too bad. Nobody tells you about the toxins, granted, it didn’t seem that they knew.”

You nodded to show you were listening. Getting the hint, he continued talking.

“Luckily, I did not live in the lanes. Instead we were a little closer to the surface, in summer you’d even get sunlight. There was clean water in lakes and the occasional greenery,” He had this far-off look on his face, recalling the memories of a peaceful childhood, “Of course, I did not swim. But, I did make a rather impressive mechanical boat.”

“Sounds about right,” You couldn’t help but cast a glimpse over in Viktor’s direction, though immediately scolded yourself because he simply looked beautiful talking about things that made him happy. There was no time to get distracted.

He caught your eyes just before they left, flittering back to the canvas that he could not see from this angle. “And you? Your childhood, I mean. You grew up in Demacia, correct? I hear that magic is highly frowned upon there, and yet-“

“Uh-uh, nope,” You quickly cut him off, “This is Viktor time. I wanna hear all of your stories, and don’t say you don’t have any, I know there’s tones.”

“I fear that there isn’t enough time in the world to discuss all of my stories.” He chimed nervously, suddenly hit with a wave of self-consciousness. It was a dirty emotion, one that you wished to rid of and make sure that he never felt again.

“Well, sounds like you better get talking,” Had been your response.

And so, the two of you filled hours with calm conversation. It was mostly Viktor filling you in on childhood stories and lost inventions, formulas he was yet to write, secrets he’d never told. Only occasionally would you chime in with a comment or question.

It was late into the night when you finally spoke those few words you’d been anticipating for weeks on end.

“It’s done.”

Viktor stood up to approach you. A couple of hours in he’d abandoned the stool, instead laying comfortably on your couch. For a minute you had worried he would fall asleep there, but a cup of coffee easily fixed that.

You took a step to the side, accommodating for the body now hovering next to you. A hand gently placed itself on your back, sitting there so nicely. A warm, subtle comfort. There was even a moment where you could of sworn he pulled you in closer, pressing your side against his own. Surely not.

“If you do not mind me asking.. what is it?” Viktor questioned with cation, words nothing but a whisper next to your ear.

He couldn’t deny that the painting was beautiful. A breathtaking display of colours all layered atop each other. Rich oranges, mixing and dancing with browns and yellows. The edges were littered with gold leaf, scattered upon the canvas like stars or sparks of fire. There was the urge to run his fingers over every carefully textured bump, but he knew it wasn’t dry yet.

The question, so innocent and raw, made you bashful. You could no longer meet his gaze, instead fixated on the painting. Your creation. “It’s you.”

Bright, aurelian eyes bore into the side of your head, and yet you couldn’t return the gaze. “Ah, but it.. doesn’t exactly look like me, does it? Unless I have a very weak eye when it comes to interpreting art, which I would not doubt.”

A lighthearted laugh left your lips, heart swelling pleasantly as you finally looked up at this man. Your beautiful Viktor, who was looking at you with such a darling, confused expression. This was the boy you’d chosen to love.

“No, stupid. It’s your voice.”

The gears were visibly turning inside his head, looking back at the painting as it clicked. Nothing would ever compare to this moment. It was wonderful, witnessing the second that he seemed to understand, finally seeing what you saw. Your greatest masterpiece was opening up his eyes.

“You are so, incredibly talented, my love.”

He pulled you closer, arm snaking around your waist. It felt so nice to be held. You submitted to that warm feeling, allowing your head to drop down onto Viktor’s chest. Gently, he placed a kiss to the top of your head, keeping you securely in his arms as he continued to admire the artwork you’d created.

[manor-tea-time]

“Oh dear… that is unfortunate.” Ivy tutted, her face scrunching in a slight distaste at the news of Lux’s shenanigans. It truly only took one person not using proper teamwork to sully a match up. “Perhaps he will snap out of it when he interacts with some others, hm? If not that, I’m sure being smacked upside the head by a few hunters ought to do a similar trick.”

Well, of course that was if the lesion itself kicked in or was acknowledged by the Cartographer in the first place. Ivy let her voice return to a hushed whisper. “Don’t worry Miss. Bernadotte, I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for him in matches. It’s good to be prepared if there’s possible,” She cleared her throat “Deadweight so to speak.”

Ivy listened intently to the descriptions of Therese’s other teammates. Both from a strategic standpoint and one of pure curiosity of the new faces gracing the manor. “Ah a housewife I see.” She said. She faintly knew the connotations of the phrase from the top of her mind. “It takes a lot of work to keep a household running smoothly. I wonder if any of that are habits from before her time here?”

It was, of course, possible not. But Ivy did like trying to give Therese some hope for her teammates. If anything it seemed like the poor girl needed it after her initial reactions to simply mentioning them. “It seems like you have a,” She waved hee hand in a circle, looking for a right word. “More favourable impression of each other? That’s quite nice all things considering.”

Ivy was tempted to ask if there was more to it, especially after the beautiful comment. However, decided against it. It was quite rude to jump to such conclusions without anything to stand on after all. “Yes, indeed. I’m afraid our flaws are what make us human. As for my teammates..”

“Mr. Strickland, The Lamp Smith, is quite a skittish man. He’s a decoder so, I often have to save him from whatever being we’re running from. Sometimes even pry him out of panicked states unfortunately enough.” Ivy waved a nonchalant hand. “I’d say he’s a fairly decent man, just very odd if that makes sense. If you do meet him you probably walk out of it with a new desk lamp.”

“As for Mr. Smith, The “Key-Master” I’d say he’s very much the opposite. He can often handle his own in matches fairly well, and sometimes even helps me!” She laughed. “He’s full of his own quirks though. I mean, what on earth could one man do in the woods for multiple hours? Study wildlife? I’d get too dreadfully bored I fear.”

She shook her head, she’d never fully understood the people she was teamed with, but perhaps that was for the best. She wasn’t sure she’d like to know the answers to all the questions she had.

“Miss. Fowler, The Glass Artist is our most recent teammate. I at first believed she was a mother or older sister as she brought another younger survivor, The “Hero” with her, but apparently that was a misunderstanding.” She shrugged, obviously not too concerned about the assumption. “She’s fairly outgoing and passionate for her craft. A lovely support to our team honestly. I do quite wish she’d allow me to make some outfits for her more often though. I think she’d look so lovely in some of my older designs I saved!”

The costume maker was about to ramble on about her opinions of the Glass Artist, but cut herself off. It was most likely not the best to ramble like that to someone she’d just met. “Ah yes! We must plan a tea party in that case. Perhaps you could bring one of the teammates your closer with as well? We can get so many people aquatinted at once.”

While she was quite fine socializing, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t slightly worry for the others. Humans were social beings, it was never good to keep one from doing so for too long.

“Ah, well I do believe it depends on the year.” Ivy said trying to think back to any patterns of the previous years. The only one she could think of were hunters being the hosts. “I believe there was a gala one year, but I can’t say I know the plans for this year. Perhaps with the request, they will make one again!” Yes, she’d most definitely pen a request now! Who on earth could pass on a Halloween Masquerade? It would be far too good to be true - even if the Baron threw in some hiccups along the way.

“It’s quite alright. I’ve also had more than my fair share of unpleasant impressions getting creative of me when I’d been perhaps much more blunt than I should have.” She shook her head in a small attempt not to dwell on it for too long. Book talk was a perfect distraction luckily. “You’ll really keep an eye out for me? Oh! You’re such a sweetheart. Perhaps we should host a small book club when you catch up.”

“I’m quite confident in that as well. I can only imagine how we will fare if we’re clicking so well now!”

-ξ(❁) ⊕) ξ

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- ((sorry this took a bit! I was a tad busy irl :sob:

Also did the cut off cause I got a *lil* carried away on this one haha

The faint clicking of heeled boots echo down the manor halls as a survivor carrying a small cookie tin approaches Therese. "Good afternoon! I don't believe I've gotten the chance to formally make your aqquatiance yet." She paused, eyeing the extravagant detailing on the other's gown. A silent confirmation to her of sorts. "Are you perhaps one of the manor's newer residents?"

-ξ(❁) ⊕) ξ

(( @manor-tea-time AAAAA you have so many cool skrunkles!! I hope its chill for me to throw Ivy at your gal -w-

Therese who hadn't expected a visitor was momentarily gazing out of a window, only noticing the other woman once she spoke up. Her eyes lit up at the opportunity to converse, something that she hadn't really gotten the chance to do yet.

She clasped her gloved hands together, holding them close to her chest as she nodded.

"Yes! I am one of the new residents of Oletus." She cleared her throat, hoping she didn't appear too excited or forward. That would be the fastest way to embarrass herself in front of a new acquaintance.

Out of instinct, she did a small curtsy.

"My name is Therese, Therese Beatrice Bernadotte. My apologies for not introducing myself sooner to you and other residents, I have been quite busy getting situated..." She smiled, before folding her arms politely over her body and clasping her hands together once again.

"And you are?"

// YOUR OCS ARE ALL SO COOL AAAA SO EXCITED TO SEE THEM INTERACT WITH MINE RWGHHHH HI!!

[supremedinosaur]

do you need a lift?

Natasha x g!n reader

Warnings: some cursing

Summary: Natasha tries using a dating app to meet someone. 

Word count: 1017

---

Being Avenger came with a lot of sacrifices, one of them being connection with another human being. Even though saving so many lives never was a complaint, it was symptom that was often looked over. Sure, Nat had the rest of the team to support her, but it wasn’t the love and affection she secretly wanted.

Natasha glided about her apartment, staring down at her phone, anxiously focused on the three dots. She then sighed while nibbling on the bottom lip between her teeth. Just as she was about to give up and toss her phone on the bed, a soft sound notified her that she got a reply.

‘I’m excited to get to know you, not just the ‘you’ everyone else sees.’

‘We’ll see if you make it that far.’ She teased. After she hit send, flash of doubt came that she might have scared them off.

‘I’m up for a challenge.’

‘Can’t wait.’

With a grin etched on her face, she peeked at the time, seeing she had two hours before the date. After sorting through her closet, the beauty decided on a simple but cute olive jumpsuit with heels to match. Her intention was to dress to impress, and she certainly never missed the marked. By the time she was done getting ready she still had an hour left and so she decided to leave early. Maybe get a quick look of the place to ease her spy instincts.

Deciding against driving against driving herself, she pulled up a ride share app on her phone and was notified her driver would be on their way.

At first when Clint suggested the idea of trying dating apps, she scoffed and brushed it off. The idea being intimate with someone without it being for a mission, ignited a fear deep within her she never acknowledged. Clint was the only one to ever have access to her vulnerability, and even then, it took years of his persistence for it to happen.

Eventually after all of Clint’s pestering and Laura’s kind support, she decided to entertain the idea. Mostly to get them to shut up about it though. So, for the first time in a long time, she didn’t have complete control of the situation.

“Just try it, and if you don’t like it, you can just delete the app and I’ll never bring it up again.”

“Fine, but when it fails, you owe me a bottle of vodka,” she replied putting an emphasis on when. Clint agreed to the deal and shook on it to seal it.

When she finished setting up her profile, the first couple people she came across were mostly men only trying to sleep with her and of course a disgusting amount of unsolicited dick pics. Natasha was on the verge of giving up, until she received a new match, and hopefully her last. There was nothing special about how the conversation started, it was simple. Which was more genuine than asking for sex immediately. The bar was low but still promising.

When we got the notification that her driver was here, she grabbed her things and made her way out of her apartment. She softly gripped the door handle and slid into the vehicle.

“Natalie?” The driver questioned, looking through the rearview mirror with their eyebrow quirked.

“Yes, the pier, please,” she replied politely meeting their gaze in the mirror. The driver’s silhouette cloaked by the night shade, but the occasional streetlight illuminating their skin tone.

“Hot date?” They asked after a momentary pause, simply trying to make casual conversation.

Natasha gave a slight smile. “Yes, first time actually.”

The driver looked back at her through the mirror again, eyebrows raise in surprise. “Well, with how well you wear that outfit, they would be insane to reject you.”

“Thank you, I hope so too,” she said with a bit of warmth spreading through her cheeks.

As the vehicle came to a stop at the destination, the driver quickly got out to open the door for the stunning red head. Natasha made a quick text to Clint, letting him know where she was, in case anything happened. While she was occupied by her phone, the door opened and she simultaneously exiting and typing away.

At the sound of the door shutting, she softly thanked the driver, moving on to message her date. She hit send and looked up finally taking in her surroundings, which was quickly cut short by a familiar notification sound. Whipping her head around, she was greeted cute smile and outreached hand.

“Hi Natasha, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Y/N,” they replied, holding up their phone screen in confirmation.

Too stunned to speak she accepted their handshake, warmth spreading through her from the contact.

“I’m sorry. You had a different name, and I didn’t know it was you, at first. Also, I didn’t know how to tell you. I thought it would be too awkward to say, ‘Hi, I’m Y/N, your driver and your date tonight,’” they said nervously as their gaze shifted away from her. Natasha only added to the tension by looking them up and down without a word.

After a long pause, they suddenly broke their silence. “Agh, I fucked this up. I’ll leave you alone now,” they conceded with their hands in their pockets, turning to leave. But Natasha’s gentle grip stopped them.

“No, I’m sorry. I was just embarrassed I never caught on… You’re also more attractive than the pictures you have on your profile.” She admitted, tilting her head to meet their eyes.

Now it was their turn to be frozen in shock. A moment passes by, and they turn to face Natasha, “I know it’s a bit early, but I’m would really like to get to know you. Join me?”

Without missing a beat, she slid her hand in there’s as they guided her down the cement sidewalk.

The night was filled with longing stares and animated laughter. At first, they were just two strangers going on a date, but eventually they became two lovers completing two halves of one whole.