#it’s like oh i am meeting other people who do my same or similar job and finding out who is cool and who i want to talk shop with

[notjanine]

i survived my first professional conference and learned that the most evil thing about networking… is… it’s kinda good……

[nostalgia-tblr]

My Next Attempt At Long Fic (by which I mean more than 10000 words and it has chapters) Should Be...

Poll and the (actually quite long) gist of each option below le cut:

The Sylki Con Artists AU

This one I have a wee bit written of already but I go back and forth on this one because it's Alternative Universe - Modern Setting and I feel like there's already a lot of those (which I also complain about a lot), and I have to justify it to myself as an experiment in whether I can do a Sylki Modern AU that doesn't just end up as "two people called Loki and Sylvie do normal stuff together". That's why they are con artists in this! Because 1) MISCHIEF (or crime, or whatever) and 2) if they have the same 'job' for similar reasons and I go on about them being similar a lot then that's maybe as close as reality can get to selfcest. (The selfcest is not just a feature of sylki, I feel it is THE feature and to admit to being Bad At Shipping (again) I'm just not that interested in it if they're different people who aren't even aliens. The same alien.) (You can tell me they are gods all you want but I've seen enough Doctor Who to know that must be A LIE so I reject it as such.)

The plot is that they meet in a bar one night and shag (obviously!) and then the reader discovers that Loki is trying to buy a painting from an old woman (planning on ripping off both her and his own buyer) and Sylvie is an artist who is selling a forged painting to some posh twat on the internet who she knows is trying to rip off her fake old lady persona on the deal but she's selling him a fake painting anyway so at least he deserves to be conned. They meet up a few times before finally realising that they are in fact conning each other under fake names on the internet, and then I have to try and fix it when they inevitably get mad at each other because of it. Also, Thor works in a shop because the brodinsons are Downwardly Mobile (dad spent all their inheritance, oh no!) Plotwise Loki is going to actually need Sylvie's painting for reasons I have not yet entirely worked out so one way or another they will have to eventually forgive each other for being con artists as they themselves are and for having attempted to con each other.

Ideally I will be able to make this one funny in some way, as I think the concept can get absurd enough to make a rom-com out of it.

2. The Jotun Heat Fic (also sylki)

I was into this one for about a day and now I have second thoughts because I am not sure I care enough about Frost Giant Biology to have to write an entire fic about it. It would continue my tradition (I did it once, that's enough for it to be a tradition) of turning a tiny ficlet into a much longer thing. This one: The Opposite of Heat, in which Loki and Sylvie go into whatever the Jotun equivalent of the fandom fave 'mating cycles/in heat' trope is, having never done so before because (see if you can guess...) they've never previously spent enough time around another Jotun for the hormones to kick in properly. They have no idea this can happen, and what starts out as Fun Porno-Fic Times soon gets a bit worrying and then I suppose they have to Investigate and that's the bit I fear might end up boring me.

This is set in an AU where S2!Loki did not instantly demand that Sylvie help him with his cop friends' problems and instead just went to live in Oklahoma with her, so the other/'real' plot is them getting used to living together and the weird-but-sexy medical issue bringing them into conflict because of course the first place Loki wants to go for help is the TVA (this not unreasonable of him, as they have a lot of info in their archives and he has no other friends anyway), which Sylvie is not keen on as she would rather just avoid them for the rest of forever. Gosh, I hope nobody goes to the TVA for help behind anyone else's back!

I need a way to make this one stay interesting once it gets to the Find Out What Is Happening part and also it needs to not just immediately end with a sensible solution like just going to Jotunheim and asking someone there for a talk about the frost-birds and the frost-bees.

Also I think they should fuck in that McDonalds. Just because.

3. Jotunheim Rejects The Guy Who Cannot Possibly Be Its Rightful King, Because I'm Annoying Like That AU (not thorki)

Speaking of going to Jotunheim, you know all those fics where Loki goes to be the Rightful King Of Frostland, as Odin apparently planned all along? That but it doesn't work, because I am not at all convinced he can have been Laufey's heir (who the fuck infanticides their only male heir?!) and even if he was well it'd just look awful, wouldn't it? Crusty Old Odin, worst friend to Jotunheim for several years running, sends back your kingdom's heir having raised him as one of his own family. (I hope at least one of you is thinking "US-Backed Puppet Ruler Who Will Do Whatever The CIA Tells Them To" because I did too! Ooh, geopolitical barely-subtext!)

The problem with this one for me is it requires a fairly large cast of Original Jotun Characters, and I still fear writing OCs because of the constant 'Mary-Sue' complaints in my fannish youth. Also I would Controversially (LOL not really) make some of them women, including Angrboda the ambitious would-be consort and Laufey's tragically spurned lover who on finding out that her long-dead son is not dead makes the most of it by insisting everyone call her 'My Lady, the King's Mother' (yes, I stole that from History but I do that sort of thing now, for the LOLs). So I have a bit of an idea what happens in this one, though I'd need to think of more political type plot stuff and also I just finished writing a multichapter fic that involved the Jotun succession so maybe I'd be overdoing it if I did this one now as well.

The other problem is Jotuns are too fucking tall. I mean really. This doesn't seem to bother anyone else but they are Too Fucking Tall to interact with the shorter characters, to the point that it just seems accidentally comedic to me. Just imagine the totally-not-a-puppet king of Jotunheim sitting on a massive throne, swinging his wee legs in the air. And I don't know how to work around that other than just saying "they are Less Fucking Tall in this fic" and I don't know if that would just annoy people. Also it does feel a bit incendiary to go against the general fandom insistence that Loki Is Totally The Rightful King Of Jotunheim. Though I suppose in this he is, it's just that he attempts to become so in the sort of circumstances that make everyone start saying things like "are we really that keen on our monarchy?" or at least "surely there's a cousin or an uncle we could give the crown to instead? yeah, even a woman would do. no, she doesn't have to be alive if there are only dead ones available."

(It was a mistake to let me read books about the Wars of the Roses, wasn't it?)

Oh and this isn't a thorki fic, but Thor is going to go to Jotunheim with his bro to help him settle in and also he will be going back to rescue him from it at the end. Bros before snows!!!!

[honkshoo-zzz]

How I see the Mercs within the LBGTQ+ Community

cause i keep seeing people posting things and EVERYONE KEEPS GETTING IT WRONG!! /j who cares i jus wanna make a funky list too

Scout: Def Bisexual, Trans ftm (can take or leave)

Probably has a preference for women

Probably doesn’t realize he likes men until he works with them 24/7 and all of his coworkers are hunky n sweaty and maybe a lil flirty

If trans, used Sex Bom tattoo to cover top surgery scars. Even though it’s definitely just worse than just having ts scars lmao

Soldier: Bisexual and Poly

I just love him dating Zhanna and Demo honestly

Fuck it, other mercs too, if they wanted

Tbh I also fuck with aro/ace vibes for him, he’s just kinda around for a good time with the homies in my mind. Both is good

I do see his preference being fairly equal though. Too busy thinking about his love for the US to think too much about tiddies/ass/etc.

Pyro: Def Ace, and either Aro or Lesbian in my mind. Also Nonbinary.

Either gender-fluid or just straight-up no gender enby. no in-between in my eyes.

I’m mostly all for Aro/Ace Pyro but I saw some Pyro x Ms. Pauling art and. love that. ugh, decisions…

Feel like they use whatever pronouns. Don’t gaf, will never gaf

Also no sex cause the suit just doesn’t come off. Also too busy setting shit on fire to care. More important shit to do.

Demoman: Pansexual and Poly

Again, dating Soldier who is also dating Zhanna

He’s also in a longterm relationship with Eyelander. Don’t ask too many questions about how that works though. But they are.

Also doesn’t have a gender-preference (obviously, he’s married to a sword). Semi-opportunistic in that sense, I guess (again he’s married to a sword. how many times do i gotta—)

Heavy: Bisexual, preference for Men

Idk man but Heavy and Medic have been married for a long time in my eyes

Also I feel like he participated in his sisters’ longing to “see another man” while living in Russia, had a similar reaction to meeting Medic upon taking the Merc job as Zhanna meeting Scout/Soldier

(For those who have yet to read the comics, that reaction basically just being: “you are man. I am horny. let’s bang.” and Medic would just be like o///o “aight” I think)

Biggest trans supporter tho, idk why but it just makes sense he would be the first to punch the teeth out a transphobe. Defends other mercs when confronted about gender shit 100%

Engineer: Bisexual, preferring Women; ftm Trans

The more top surgery art I see of him, the more I fall in love with trans Engie. It’s basically canon to me now. You can take this from my cold, dead hands.

Idk not much else to say. He’s a switch, though, if that adds much of anything HXSKFJEJX

No bottom surgery in my mind, either. Just makes his own straps n shit, cause he can (one of his 11 PhDs was in sex, actually, did you know?)

Medic: Gay, ftm Trans (again, can take or leave)

The most bottom-gay I’ve ever seen, personally (idk how else to phrase it, forgive me)

Again, I feel like he’s been married to Heavy for a long time

If trans, did his own top and bottom surgery, probably at the same time, cause he knew he could and he’s fucking insane (scars are a little wild as a result but he wears them with pride)

Sniper: Gay. das it HFSKFJEK

Gay, but the type of guy where you’d never know til his fuckin boyfriend walks out and kisses him or sum

Also he’s exclusively a top in my mind. Idk why but I feel like he’s got control issues HHEEKLEDP

Again, not super out-spoken about his sexuality, but *will* go out of his way to stab a homophobe. Not kill them from a distance, specifically stab. Shit’s more personal that way (is that too morbid? sorry)

Spy: Bisexual, Genderfluid

Another bottom, but will top if needed (like with most women, if he somehow gets with *another* bottom, etc.)

He’s also a whore. A slut, even. Good for him.

OH AND GENDERFLUID omg. Saw some stuff about that recently so it’s new to my pea brain but I like it.

Again, like Sniper, I feel like he wouldn’t really talk about his gender stuff a lot, but would discover this of himself when disguising himself as women and just feeling. Just as comfortable, if not more comfortable as them at times.

Kinda sensitive about it, though, probably. Will stab anyone who mentions it while he’s figuring it out. But gets better upon meeting the mercs and their gay-asses, lmao

“holy shit it’s not that crazy to like to have boobs sometimes” type-beat.

ok i’m done. again feel free to add stuff, fight me (like, as a bro), or whatever. Love talking about it cause I love these lil weirdos. Probably too much. oh well hdkafjejfk

[izicodes]

I want to get into coding but I’m scared about working for a company and talking to people lol and I don’t think I’m creative enough. what do meetings and the job consist of? i have this assumption in the back of my mind like “what more is there to say/do other than code a website?” haha hope this is ok to ask! it’s super vague tbh I can’t find anything that touches base to a specific level enough online.

also, I’m not a math genius… very insecure about that since high/middle school. do I still have a chance? how does math go into coding?

Hiya! 💗

I completely understand how you feel because I felt the exact same thing when I started working at my current workplace.

Working for a company

Many coding jobs do require collaboration and communication with others. However, it's important to remember that not all coding roles involve extensive social interaction. There are positions where you can work independently or have limited interaction with colleagues.

In my case, I work in the office Monday and Friday. Mondays are when everyone in the whole IT Department is in, except those who are off or on holiday etc. This is what I do:

I walk in

sit at my desk near the window

headphones in

log in

code - occasionally turn around and annoy the Lead Web Developer with cries because my code isn't working (he then solves it in 10 seconds...)

At around 2:30pm is an IT meeting in the conference room. What do we discuss?

IT manager discusses any updates as an IT department as a whole. Any concerns about the technology used in the company. Any bootcamps we need to do internally, how was everyone's holidays, a little gossip.

Then everyone takes turns and discuss what they did the past week

That's it.

That's my company but I assume it's something similar for other companies. It's also important to know not everyone in the IT Department are web developers or work on building websites, not even in the sub-department Dev Team. Our Dev team are 6 members and only 2 (me and the Lead Web Developer) are web developers, so work on the company's websites. The other guys are very script-building and database oriented. All I do is code websites.

Maths in coding

Depends on what you're coding. I work with websites, I use Year 11/Grade 10 level of maths - it's not hard. As a reference, I stopped learning maths as a subject at school at a Year 13/12th Grade level and the stuff I'm using is way easier than what I learnt last - stuff my little sister, who's 14, can understand.

I chose web development because of the little maths. Some people have told me "Oh you'll encounter it one day" - I still haven't after 2 years. I use C# and JavaScript at work and still do very little maths. Maybe loops? I know if you're going to study computer science at university you will have to learn a good amount of maths, definitely harder than what I use!

Here is a list of the maths I use daily, that I can think of:

Arithmetic

Algebra

Logic and Boolean Algebra

Basic Algorithms

That's it. Maybe if I learnt the maths need in programming to the max, it might make my life easier when I am working on my personal projects, but my life is already easy with the little maths I know so I'm good for now.

Designing websites is less maths-y and more... designing in my opinion and experience. "I drew out this design for the website... how do I do I code that?" literally me every time I start a project.

Again, other fields in Computer Science would require more maths knowledge so research that field you want o go into and Google/ChatGPT "What maths is needed in [field name]?"

Hope this helps, my advice may not be the best since coming from a web dev point of view but it's still advice! Good luck 😎🙌🏾💗

[beevean]

N!Alucard swearing in particular doesn't mske sense because he was raised by the two people in the whole show who actually never swore once and were really refined, not to mention he presumably lived in pretty isolated conditions so there could be no way for him to gain any rude behavior

The show tries to sell the idea that Trevor's behavior rubbed off on him but he was calling his ancestors brain dead hillbillies and overall acting like a cunt as soon as he met the guy

It literally makes no sense for him to be this way even in-universe

Yes, exactly.

It's the same logic of that S4 scene where Sypha goes on a rant because "I said shit, you did this to me!" when this woman literally snarked that she was going to make Trevor drink her piss by telling him its was beer, like, 10 minutes after meeting him. No, you made nearly everyone talk the same, you don't get to paint Trevor as the "crass one"!

Funnily enough, Alucard insulting the Belmont heritage by more or less calling them primitive savages for their techniques does fit the idea that he's a haughty spoiled prince who thinks he's so much superior than the low class. Probably not what the writers intended, though :P

overall acting like a cunt as soon as he met the guy

In S1E4, he literally asks Trevor if he's "a runt running around with the Belmont crest" before even fighting. And I get the idea that Alucard wanted to test him to see if he could help him, but the antagonism is so forced. I honestly don't know why Alucard would hate Trevor on sight: their personalities are not that opposite.

It's shit like this that pisses me off:

Alucard: This is a simple remote viewing mirror. A little of the activating language is chipped. A few of the runes need re-cutting, but workable. You have the most fascinating family junkyard, Belmont. Trevor: You are a cockwart, Alucard. Sypha: Stop it. *drags Trevor away* You are an adult. You do not have to rise to his every barb. Trevor: He's pissing me off like it's his job, Sypha. Sypha: Grow up, Trevor.

Alucard attacked Trevor first for literally zero reason, Trevor insults him back (less elegantly but whatever, I'd call him a cockwart too) and Sypha reproaches him and tells him to grow up? And then the scene transitions to Trevor explaining the origins of his name... which leads to the two flirting? Bro? The fuck? This is literally "be nice to your bully" logic??

This is the forced framing of the show. It wants to tell me Trevor is the immature, rude one, because Alucard is justified:

Sypha: But it's like he's a cold spot in the room. It's not like your sadness. Trevor: I'm not sad. Sypha: Yes, you are. But I can shout at you, or tease you, and get a reaction that lets me know you're still in there. His sadness is like an icy well. It's bottomless… and it swallows up your voice and anything you try to drop into it.

Trevor's depression is funny, Alucard's depression is tragic. Comic relief vs. real protagonist. You can't make this shit up.

And then this other shit:

Sypha: Stop testing him, Alucard. Alucard: I am concerned I have thrown my lot in with a demented infant. Sypha: I imagine he has similar concerns about you. Alucard: I am also concerned that you enjoy him too much. Sypha: And what is that supposed to mean? Alucard: He is unreliable, emotionally damaged, and apparently very distracting to you while you should be focused on the task at hand. Sypha: Oh. Am I not working hard enough? Hmm? Alucard: And he's a drunk and he's self-destructive and anybody trying to hold on to him may well simply be dragged down with him. Sypha: You're afraid. You worry that you might have made the wrong choice. So you're trying to make him prove himself again and again by constantly provoking him. You forget, Alucard. Trevor didn't get to finish out his childhood. He is not the man here who may not have grown up.

This is not testing. Sypha joked about finding a book with penis spells, and Alucard unprovoked threw a jab at Trevor. He just decided to insult him as soon as he saw an opening. (although, hilariously enough, it lowkey sounds like he's crushing on Sypha and he's jealous that she and Trevor had a decent chat the other night)

Hey, asshole. Trevor literally brought your ungrateful ass to a place that holds all of his heritage, a heritage he was shunned for, because you need help to kill Daddy - and I don't give a shit if you feel attacked in your vampire identity which makes zero sense and makes you look really callous, you want a vampire hunter for the job, you get someone who kills people like you for a living. You have seen him fighting: you have seen that he is very competent at his job, which is what you need. On the other hand, in S2 we barely if ever see him drink like in S1. You literally, literally, have zero reasons to speak that way, unless you're just looking for excuses to be a dick. And if you're that insecure about your choice... leave. Find someone else. Go fight Dracula alone, since in any case you ended up doing all the work. And Sypha, why the fuck did you go and bang Trevor when you clearly prefer Alucard over him. Look, she's defending him, but she's still calling him a manchild! What's with Ellis and his obsession with manchildren and humiliating them!

... I'm sorry, I know I strayed away from the point of him swearing, but N!Alucard is such a rude prick! I hate him! It's not Trevor's fault, he was born that way! He's not even that pretty that would justify him becoming the fandom's blorbo! I want to slap him and Sypha so much and then rescue Trevor who needs much better friends than these two 😭

[hindahoney]

I'm a conservative conversion student with a mikveh date of 08/07 and I wish I was excited but it just feels hollow. I've been at this for 7 years on my own, and 1 year with a rabbi. He had me take a class (that was far to beginner for me, which I mentioned to him and he said “I don’t want you wasting your time on this class if you’re not getting anything from it… well see you in class”) and we've only met individually like 4 times - we've literally talked for less than an hour total. Our last meeting was 5 minutes and consisted of “so do you want go to the mikveh soon?”. It’s been my call this whole way, he hasn’t expressed any opinion or really guided me anywhere. He hasn’t really gauged where I’m at at all, no “how many times a day are you praying?” or “how did you celebrate shavuos?” etc. It just feels so frustrating. I would convert modox if I could but my fiance is not jewish and I'm not asking him to convert. I just feel like I haven't learned anything and I haven’t been challenged at all through this process. It just rubs me the wrong way because this should be hard, some people should get a no, and we should be pushed. Sorry for venting, I’m just feeling really down about this whole thing.

I know how frustrating this must be for you, and I agree that it should be hard and some people should be told no. At my university's Hillel, the rabbi there has an "introduction to judaism" class that meets for one hour a week for eighteen weeks and at the end of it if you get a good grade they just ask if you want to convert and if you do, you get a mikveh date (This class had no testing, and was based entirely on if you just showed up). I was talking about this with the rabbi and asked if they'd ever turned someone away, or if they had ever had someone go to the beit din and determine the person was not yet ready, and they said no, not in all twenty years they had done this class. I knew someone in this class so I asked for the syllabus and reading list, and it was incredibly lack-luster and didn't explain a lot of core concepts of Jewish observance or history (Obviously, how can you learn 4,000 years of history in 18 hours?), did not require you to read the Torah, or to learn any Hebrew at all. The class didn't teach prayers for different occasions, nor did it touch on bible stories and characters. These were supposedly conservative conversions.

I'm not saying "Oh reform and conservative conversions are always bad because theyre not observant etc etc" because I don't believe that, and if an orthodox rabbi did the same thing I would also think it wasn't good enough. What I AM saying is, regardless of whatever movement the person is converting to, they deserve to have a good and thorough education, enough to be able to determine it fits with their wants, needs, and lifestyle. They deserve to know what they're getting into, and are really (in my opinion) owed time, attention, dedication, and care by their sponsoring rabbi. You deserve to have a rabbi who cares enough to make the course more challenging or complex for your needs, and who is willing to make time to meet with you outside of class. You deserve to know about the mitzvot you're going to be saddled with after you convert, because it's not like you can just de-convert, and you should be educated on the various halachic interpretations to decide which one fits for you. You should be thoroughly educated on Jewish history so you understand the people and culture you are joining, and the burden (and blessing) you are putting on your own shoulders by being a part of the Jewish people. To do any less is a disservice to you.

You have two options, the way I see it. You can either complete this conversion, which will be relatively simple from how it sounds, and you will officially be recognized as a Jew by both conservative and reform movements. This will allow you to go on Birthright and other similar programs (internships, educational trips, job offers to Israel, etc) and opens the door for you to go to a seminary or yeshiva that accepts conservative conversions. If you aren't satisfied still, you can try to do another conversion through modox. Or, you can forego the conservative conversion and seek out a modox rabbi instead.

[bakurapika]

My boss has been awesome but I got in trouble for overlooking something several weeks ago that, real talk, I think is probably heavily due to how I've had some big memory issues lately which I think is related to my lack of med management. But I'm sure as hell not gonna say that for multiple reasons (1 of which being, I think she has similar issues herself and would think it's BS, and 2, if she DID believe me then she'd question my ability to do my job to a point where it'd be worse than believing I was intentionally a little negligent).

And right after that, I was late for a meeting because of 1) those same memory issues, and 2) some tech issues. Where it looked like I was being intentionally negligent again.

And I'd just recently asked if she would still be a good reference for me if I had to get another job becuase of financial issues she was already fully aware of (and she's been the kind of person who I trusted to be supportive with this information despite being a boss), so it's been pretty transparent that she thinks I'm slacking off on purpose.

I thought that all got settled but now she's been interpreting normal situations that would usually be like "oh yeah, we'll clean this up no problem" or even not have any identified issue at all, where it would just require a little paperwork on my end to fix - and seems to just be looking for evidence that I don't take my job seriously. I'm really on edge whenever she talks to me now, because this situation has played out before at the same job with a really bad boss, and things got reeeeally shitty right afterward.

I feel inclined to be like "lol! it's just my anxiety! i'm projecting!" but I genuinely don't think I am, and so far my instincts have been pretty spot on about this kind of thing.

And it fully sucks because she became my boss specifically to get me out of that situation of a sucky boss who interprets everything I do in the worst faith possible.

But anyway, so I've been having breakdowns at work whatever. But everyone gets a day off on the day of the week we normally have a private boss-employee meeting. I was really relieved about that. But literally last minute of today, she rescheduled it to be at the end of the day tomorrow, right before the long weekend, and it's gonna suck and I'm not sure if it's better to dread it all day or to have "gotten it over with" and have a sucky conversation that made the entire day awful again. Not that I have a choice.

So basically I need to go into this conversation and lie like a rug. Because being honest and taking accountability for my actions has gotten me treated with suspicion because she thought I was lying and admitting to anything that's "off" before it becomes a problem for other people (though it may not have been pointed out as an issue I caused - or a problem at all - if I let it lie) has itself become a chance to evaluate what I've done as laziness or doing bad work. Even if the actual thing being discussed took place ages before I was applying for other jobs.

Hence lying like a rug. I just need to be polite and accept any blame she gives me without taking it personally or letting it affect my actions (since yesterday at work, I got next to nothing done because I was crying all day, compared to today, where I decided Fuck It and chilled most of the day and was able to focus on my work like a normal person afterwards, without needing to text anyone for my own safety or anything at all). And basically I need to roleplay someone who's not emotionally invested in my job at all but is distantly professional.

But I'm really shitty at lying in that kind of situation so it'll probably take about 45 seconds to break me, and I'll wind up being like "I WAS SOBBING IN THE OFFICE ON WEDNESDAY BECAUSE OF AN OFFHAND REMARK YOU MADE" which would be taken as utter manipulative, lying horseshit. And it's a half hour meeting and she's definitely gonna confront me about stuff that, real talk? Was at least as much her fault as mine, if they're even situations that you feel like you need to identify anyone being at fault in at all - and again if I even hint at that being the truth, I'm f u c k e d.

God someone please like this post to tell me I'm not alone even if you just skimmed it because I'm struggling. Maybe send me a message about the worksona I need to develop and how I should be able to keep it together for like 2 full minutes.

Like if she hates me at a personal level now, she won't want to talk for long either, right??

[emotionallydeprived-shapeshifter]

Meet the Shapeshifter

[Scene opens on a view of a skyscraper in the middle of a city, the camera pans up to show a large dragon curled around the building. There's a typical city ambiance with people chatting calmly and cars moving in the background. A voice overlays the footage]

Y’know, where I come from, shapeshifting isn't that big of a deal. Sometimes I still get caught up in how different everything is here.

[The scene changes, a man with short brown hair and a yellow shirt jumps from one building to the next. He makes a few more jumps towards the camera, grinning the whole time. The camera moves to show the height that the man and cameraman are at, the ground is far below them]

I guess that’s why I like being a merc? I’m used to the danger, it’s normal for me. Roof hopping, parkour.. Hell, my hands definitely weren’t clean before coming here. It’s a world without laws, as peaceful as it seems sometimes it’s always gonna be dangerous.

[The scene changes again, now to the Scout who makes the same gestures he did in his own video as he speaks]

“If you were from where I was from? You’d be dead”

[The Scout grabs at air, and a mask appears in his hand. He puts it on, revealing it to be the Shapeshifter’s mask, and the “Scout” shifts into a different form. This person is covered head to toe, the patch on their red sweater features a similar mask to the one they’re wearing]

That’s what he said in his own interview, yeah? Same applies to me, you’ve gotta know how to adapt on the fly to live there. So working as someone that is supposed to be able to fill any empty spot on the field? Well, I’d say I was made for the job.

[There are several shots of the Shapeshifter reading various books, some about the different languages the team speaks, others documenting medical research, as well as the occasional book about engineering or even rarer, something unrelated to the team]

I take my job seriously, if everyone out on the field believes I wasn’t even there? I did my job like I’m supposed to. Of course, that means a lot of research to do and a lot of languages to learn, but in my opinion it’s worth it.

[There are several shots of the other mercs, some during a battle while others are outside of battle. After a few seconds of each merc it’s revealed to be the Shapeshifter]

Sure, I’ve got favorites to cover for. I get the same limits as they do when I shift into them, I can move as fast as Scout, be as strong as Heavy, but all that comes with it’s drawbacks too. Like, as Demo I can only see from one eye for example. I can’t take as many hits as Scout as I could as Heavy, but I’m not as fast as Heavy as I am as Scout.. You get the idea.

[The scene returns to Shapeshifter, who is tilting their head]

I think that covers everything? Oh, wait!

[Something in their posture changes slightly, making them seem more mischievous]

I haven’t shared my name yet!

It’s Ca-

[End of reel]

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Could you tell me a story about a rambunctious cat named Arnold and the famous drag queen, Alyssa Edwards?

The first thing Alyssa did upon arriving in LA was to look up the Mormon church where Arnold and her niece sat. She had made reservations for herself in a local hotel and bought plane tickets, but the more important question of what she would do after arriving was still up in the air. It was Saturday morning, a day off from her bakery job. She decided that she would go on a long walk and see what came of it. There were things she could do. She could find a cute bar in West Hollywood and ask the bartender if he knew any women and lesbians and things. She could try meeting someone in that hotel gym.

She wanted to do something other than meet people, though. She remembered the time she had read about the girl named Candy who had disappeared and then come back to life. When she came back, she had walked and walked, had gone places and seen people and had been seen herself, as a different person. Alyssa had been in a similar situation, long ago, although she had not disappeared. She had become a different person and then made it permanent. She hoped to do the same now.

But she got off the bus in West Hollywood in the morning and found herself very confused. There were friendly, healthy, contented people everywhere, and bars that would probably let her in, but the idea of wandering and getting lost like that was unappealing. It would be like wandering through a park that had no park around it, because the park was inside her mind and she could not break out. She didn't think that was going to be helpful.

It was warm outside and late spring was finally on its way. So she went to the gym in the hotel, where a place called the Body Shop was one floor above the lobby. Even if the bartenders had not known the answer to her question, she expected the bartenders at the Body Shop would. In her mind she wrote a letter:

I'm looking for a gay bar and/or a lesbian bar. I'm a woman, and I am not in an official sense a woman but I'm on my way to being in that sense a woman and thus am on my way to being a femme. I don't know how to convince anyone I am the person I am, so I'm not going to bother trying to convince anyone.

She planned to print it and hand it to the bartender. She felt it might be better if she was wearing nail polish and makeup and a fun dress and had her hair done. She had a lot to learn.

She planned to print the letter and wait until the bartender came over. She planned to say, "Hey, can you help me find a bar? I'm new here." And then she planned to hand the bartender the letter, and the bartender would read it and say, "You're looking for a women's bar and/or a femme bar." And then she planned to say, "Great, thanks." And then she planned to have the bartender point her toward the right direction. And then she would wander down the street and find the bar and go inside it, and then she would find people, and be found.

Of course, things were never this simple. When Alyssa arrived at the Body Shop, she found every bartender there male. The bartender seemed surprised to see her, but he agreed to write something for her.

I'm looking for a neon spa and/or a spa run by lesbians. The clientele should be cute, friendly, and kind.

It was not what Alyssa had expected to read from the bartender's letter, but it seemed promising. There was a neon spa across the street, and upon walking into it, Alyssa was immediately greeted by a person wearing a multi-colored hairdo. Alyssa could tell from this hairdo that this person was a person of a certain gender. She had not been certain of this before arriving, but now she felt sure.

"Oh," said the hairdo, "we have people here right now. They are at the front desk. There is a special. Would you like it? I do not think it is negotiable."

"Er," Alyssa said, "I mean -- I guess I should probably try it." She felt she should probably try it. After all, she had decided to explore the world of the other gender. There was nothing wrong with exploring the world of the other gender. There was nothing wrong with trying on the attitudes of the other gender. Nothing wrong with trying on fun things like that. She had a good time. It was important that she have a good time.

And she had a good time. She had a good time up until it was over. She met friendly people who were cute and kind and she even tried to be friendly and cute and kind, and the people around her were friendly and cute and kind back, and it was all very nice, and then it was over. Alyssa was left behind by her own actions and plans.

"Oh!" said Alyssa, "Thank you!"

"I am sorry," said the hairdo. "It was nice to meet you. It was very nice to meet you."

I said, no, it was fine. It was very nice to meet you too. You were nice to me and that's good. Goodbye now.

Alyssa was alone and she was not sure what to do next. She could have lunch at a place called Pharmacy. She could explore on foot and get lost and ask someone where she could find people who were more like herself. But she was still not sure what to do next.

There was only one bar nearby. There were no cute bars nearby. There were no places of any kind nearby. It was this bar, which was as friendly as a place could be, but Alyssa felt she was imposing on its good nature by being there, and yet it was the only bar in the entire place.

She wanted to walk, and ask people, and start wandering, but it felt wrong to ask people things like that. Alyssa felt she needed to do things the right way. When Alyssa got home, people were going to want to meet her, and there was no way she would meet them if she was not ready to meet them, and being ready to meet them meant starting to meet them now. This was the lesson of the past. But Alyssa felt she needed to meet them the right way, and that meant walking through the world the right way.

The bar was friendly, but the bartender had not helped her find a place, and people in the bar were hanging out, and she was not sure she should hang out. She felt there were things in the past that she should be doing now, and some things from the past could be done but it was better not to do them. She should not be wandering.

Oh," said Alyssa, "Do you happen to know where I can find a women's bar and/or a mixed gender bar?

"I live here, and I have no idea," said the bartender.

"Oh," said Alyssa.

"There is a club on the west side that is not mixed, but I have not been there. I am not sure if this club has women in it. I'm not sure if it's the kind of club you want."

"Oh," said Alyssa. And then she said, "Thanks." And then she left the bar. She did not ask directions, because it was the wrong kind of direction. And Alyssa had gotten directions in the wrong kind of directions for a long time now. She knew how to read maps, but there were things you could do that were very similar to map reading, but which led you in the opposite direction from where you were going, and it had been years since Alyssa had taken a good direction.

She walked around and around, up and down the street. She found herself looking at houses and shops and churches, but she was not in the habit of going into shops or churches. She was not sure what to do next. She saw a bookstore. It seemed promising.

The bookstore had a website. It had a lot of books. There was a lot of nice artwork in the bookstore. An artist was selling paintings of cute things in the store, and there was an artist selling paintings of cute things on the street outside. There was also a very large book called It Must Be Early Sunday and Alyssa was very

[most-definitively-a-human]

Oh dear. It seems I may have made yet another character autistic without realising. We've got three now. (Most likely.) Yay!

I'm happy her experiences are different enough to mine that I'll still have fun. (I get bored when characters are too similar to me)

I'm seeking out the input of people who aren't as negatively affected by autism as I am to get a clear view of things. I'm disabled to the point where I can't drive or work by it, have a caregiver, and don't relate much to much of the autistic representation I see. My experiences with autism are predominately sensory, motor, and with executive function, but I don't struggle to make friends and Lumin's are mainly social and about routine, I think that's why I didn't notice for so long. In many ways we're complete opposites.

My experiences are a skewed and incomplete perspective of what the spectrum is, and something I'd like to rectify/add onto.

About Lumin

Lumin despises interruptions, experiences outbursts of rage whenever interupted, and follows a strict schedule (mainly due to being a workaholic but she does find it soothing). She prefers to do things together than talk most of the time (like sparring), has to excercise to deal with a ceaseless and restless energy, and doesn't understand people different to herself and assumes everyone is similarly oppurtunistic.

She communicates in a blunt, direct manner, with occasional vivid metaphor. She despises looping floral speech, abhors small talk and beaureocracy, and doesn't understand how to interact with others outside of intimidation or power plays as that was all she was taught.

Other people's emotions and sentimentality baffle her, and she's annoyed by their outbursts. She sometimes attempts to soothe people by saying things like "you have nothing to cry about" and "it could be worse" with genuine kind intent. She wishes she could find people who aren't so easily upset.

As a doctor, she is baffled by people who say she has a bad bedside manner. Why are they angry at her for failing to interrupt her duty to engage in pleasantries? Do they want her to be slow and incompetent? If you want pleasantries go elsewhere. You have a broken arm. Why isn't that your priority?

She couldn't bear working as a soldier since she hated being ordered about and 'being in the prescence of so many unambitious idiots' (I think she might also be overwhelmed by all the people but too proud to admit it) (she also hates turning her hobby into a job) (sparring is the one thing in her life that wasn't graded and she wants to keep it that way)

When she meets Asran (a small child of eight years) she decides to entertain him by reading out loud medical textbooks. This works. She does not have any other ideas for methods of entertainment other than "put him in a garden and ignore him" or "give him non sharp medical tools to fiddle with"

Most people dislike her, and she gave up on trying to be friendly long ago. She tries to seem as intimidating and unpleasant as possible because if she can't be loved, at least she can be feared.

She also has a strict moral code and is relentlessly adherent to authority figures she admires. She thinks it is sacriledge to question them.

Typing this out, it seems the main reason I didn't realise it is because she doesn't need a carer like me. She seems pretty obvious now that I type everything up.

I do have another few points of difficulty though.

Reasons why I'm uncertain

-Her inability to empathise is more due to her experiencing severe trauma and also being a jerk. She could understand others if she tried. She just doesn't want to because a) she has work to do and b) to her people are all the same anyway. No point in analysing them when the only important thing is ascertaining whether or not they're useful or a threat. (She would still have a naturally blunt style of communication without trauma - might be even blunter) (And would still be fixated on medical knowledge to the detriment of everything else.)

-She's an alien mermaid with a different set of instincts. She has a heightened prey drive and heightened instincts. Due to her species this explains much of the autism like symptoms, like the sensory seeking behaviour and love of schedule. In short, she wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis without being an alien so I'm not quite sure if she counts.

Personally I think her experiences will be very relatable to many autistic people, but I'm not quite sure yet due to the alien mermaid thing.

I want to make sure I'm describing her accurately. I'm not interested in changing her to be more in line with the diagnostic criteria - she's her own person and close to being fully developed as a character at this point. If she's subclinical that's great because people on the border between neurotypical and autistic get someone to relate to, and if she isn't that's also great. Either way she'll resonate with people, and that I'm content with

I just want to know how best to describe her and make no false promises. (Don't want to say she's autistic rep when she might just a more relatable than average ornery fish lady)

[ma3-author2]

NEFARIO

(Bnha x Anti-Hero Reader)

⊘𝟙

•---------•

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲.

The nefarious, who is known to be the most gruesome and horrifying character in all of history, has come to an end after all the heroes and even some villains defeated her. The peace has come, but sometimes peace is never there when this villain warns them of something they can't forget.

"Someday, you will see my point. And I hope you regret on not listening to me. I promise this, you will be the one standing where I am today."

Instead of screaming in anger, agony 'Nefario' said it calmly, and this made things worse for them.

Well, that was a long, long time ago, and even some people forgot about it. Some still remembered how they faced the worst and most powerful villains. Hoping that this Villain who said does words is just a bluff.

This villain they feared and stained in their minds with traumatic events has slowly and soon vanished like a cloud, as peace is indeed there, as it has been for the last fifty years. but a cloud is just a generated program, formed with the water.

And soon it will be up in the sky once again.

The name 'Nefario' woke up a long time ago, but instead of doing what she promised them, she chose to stay quiet. Why? Is because she chose something new.

"Shota! Ohayo~" Hizashi exclaimed, resting his arms around Aizawa's shoulders, during which he grumbled and told Hizashi to remove his whole body away from him. Only for another person to join them.

"Yo! Morning everyone!"

"Why am I unlucky?" Aizawa grumbled as not only one person was screaming in his left ear, but another loud person was screaming on the other side.

"Where's Y/N?" Oboro asked, not seeing where his other friend was, only to smile widely when he found her, who was now entering the class before she could greet her classmates.

She got a big squeeze from Oboro. "Hey! Morning! Why are you late again?"

"I'm not, and let go."

"Sometimes, I forget that you two have different parents." Oboro chuckled, pointing at you and Aizawa having the same reaction each morning. Who doesn't get tired when you have two loud friends who never appear to tire?

"Morning, Y/N-chan!" Hizashi is greeted with another loud sound, indicating that you just want to transfer to another class.

While making your way to your desk, which was beside Yamada. Greeting Aizawa at the same time, you can't help but wonder how you ended up going to U.A. high school when your background is that of the worst villain of all time.

Oh, right. because you can.

"Okay, everyone. I need you all to wear this and meet me outside." The teacher said she was showing the class a jumpsuit, the same one you wore when Sensei tested your quirk ability.

Though you have the most powerful quirk out there, you didn't show it all and blast it in one go. Earning you a third place on the chart. Enough to continue your day. You also meet the three friends on that ability test.

"Teach! Are we doing the test again?" Oboro ask.

"Yes, after your training and internship last week. We need to see if you improve or not."

According to what your teacher said, each one of the students showed their quirk, and each of them has the same score they had last time.

"That's Y/N-san! For you!" Oboro and Yamada exclaimed with joy that you got a high score even though it added only two points to it.

As the test goes on, all the students are tired except you and Aizawa, as you both look tired in the first place. But in regards to whose more tired looking, it will be Aizawa getting that title.

"Looks like you didn't improve that much on your quirk, except L/N. Still a good job, and on the next project we will be having a camp training."

The student groaned in response but still cheered as this was very similar to a field trip. Only for others to stop cheering when Sensei follows with a note that only those who pass the exam can

"NO! Sensei, why did you betray us like this?" Yamada whined while kneeling on the ground, followed by Oboro nodding his head in agreement. You and Aizawa, who were watching all of this, could just sigh, knowing where this will lead.

And just seeing Oboro and Yamada looking at where you stand, "Okay, I'll teach you. But you need to pay for the food."

"That's why you two are the best!"

As you four are now going back, Oboro stopped you all, "Shota! Hizashi! Y/N-san."

"Once we graduate, let's start a hero agency! I think the four of us could resolve anything. You know, since there are four of us."

"That doesn't make sense." You said you were frowning at the sudden idea of Oboro, though you'd gotten used to it as he has many of them.

"Well, even if someone makes a mistake, the other can cover for him or her. Like I said before, Shota pays attention to details. Hizashi is an expert in resolving disputes and, what's more, can make up a quick excuse."

"Oi!"

Oboro continued, "And you, Y/N-san! Like a mother hen, you always look after us. Come on, let's partner up!"

"Don't start whining if you can't make enough money." Yamada snickered but agreed to join Oboro's plan.

"You got it! What about you, Y/N-san? Shota?"

"Give me a break; I didn't even say a word," Aizawa replied, but behind that frowning face is a hint of a smile.

"I'll just stay at home," you jokingly said.

"Man, Just join me. You two! Let's partner up!"

"Sure, whatever you say."

"Yes! Starting today, why don't we make up a name?"

"Hey, Hey! We still have more than a decade to think about it. Today, why don't we get something sweet? My treat!" Yamada simply said he earned a smile from all his friends. But all of this happy memory didn't last long because, as soon as the camp training ended, followed by the Hero work-studies, it ended in a sad, sour ending.

The two friends didn't expect it; they didn't see it coming. If they knew this would happen, maybe they could have prevented it. But it was already late when everything had crushed down, and Aizawa and Yamada could be deaf and watch the destruction of the place.

They lost Y/N and Oboro during the hero internship together. The building collapsed where Aizawa and Yamada were saved by Oboro. As for Y/N, they didn't find her. The police ended the investigation, declaring that she died in the crush and that the body was underneath the ground.

Aizawa called it bullshit; not only was he angry at the authorities for declaring it and not doing their job right, but he was also angry at your parents for accepting that you were gone.

Aizawa and Yamada knew that you were alive somewhere, as they didn't see you and didn't want to think that you were indeed dead. But... maybe it was time to declare it after all the years of not finding even a hint of hair.

"Shota... I think it's time to let Y/N rest."

What they didn't know was that the girl they'd been looking for all those years was just working at a convenience store. At the same time talking to All for one.

She didn't accidentally meet him; he was the one who came for her.

"So, you've been here all this time. Why are you staying silent?"

"Because I want something new, it's gotten a bit boring doing the same thing over and over again... Only to get ignored at. So, what will you do with the body?" You said, brushing the dust off your shoulder, asking what he will do to Oboro's body and other dead bodies.

"I will use it to make a nomu, and you will be the first to witness it." It would be an honor if you were the one to see it."

"Hmm... "Before that, I want to give him a proper burial."

You're not that sick of a villain, nor doesn't have small feelings, because you also have them, even if you only knew Oboro for the years you've been in the U.A. You admire the boy, but you can't do anything now as he has already passed away.

You're not a god to relive him like you do, and maybe this is a good thing that he doesn't need to be in this sick world as it's not meant for a boy like him, maybe in another timeline.

•---------•

Before 'Nefario' went to get a job at a convenience store, or more likely, before she got one, she worked at a hero news agency.

"L/N, you're late again!"

"Sorry boss"

"One last tardy, and you're fired."

In the city of Musutafu, Japan, a small building housed an office where your job was to handle all the new hero debuts for a company that produces news about the abilities of the said hero.

There you are, typing at your laptop, putting all the information that you gleaned from the last interview with the debut hero.

"L/N-san, you are needed near the train station as the debut hero will be there and we need some information. As well as the other hero."

"Noted," It took you less than a minute to get there, and after arriving, you didn't even wait; you got out your camera as well as a recording tape.

The first thing you saw once you entered the street was people gathered in one place, one way to kill themselves. Are Watching the villain rampage through the train rail and the hero prevent him from destroying more.

As the villain is getting anxious and the hero has started to show up, he destroys a metal pole as it is nearing the ground.

"Death Arms!" Death Arm showed up in time, catching the fallen metal.

'The Punching Hero, who uses his strength for justice, What a bull of crap.' But you've got to do your job, with a quick snap coming from your camera, writing down all the information on who's who in the scene.

You were about to write the name of the hero on the front when you felt a presence next to you, eagerly wanting to see the show. A green-haired student, and for some reason, you felt something different about this kid.

'Huh, I wonder.' You chuckled, continuing to write. This boy. It reminds you of the time you fought Nana Shimura. The blonde kid who almost caught you off guard

Soon Kamui joins in the action, wanting to help, only to get stood off by the debut hero you've been waiting to show up. Who easily kicked the villain in the face, knocking him down at the same time.

She shouted the praise 'Canyon Canon' one movement in which you can't help but think of it as a joke, that they still named their movement and you seeing it as a way of disadvantage to this society.

"Today's my debut day. My name is Mt. Lady. Happy to be your Ass-quaintance" Not even a second passes when all the cameras pop out, taking her pictures from every angle.

'Mt. Lady, huh.' Just by seeing her up close, you can already analyze her weaknesses and strengths and easily defeat her under many possible circumstances, with her always at the end of every story.

But you're not a villain like before; no, you're just a normal civilian just doing your work and interviewing her like the other hero you could speak to. Well, that's what you want them to see.

Speaking of powers, in regard to them, it would never be the same as All for One or the horrifying 'Nefario' Herself, which were traumatic events for those who witnessed them. Furthermore, as power grew, so did the number of crimes.

While the country waited for new law reforms, people with courage became heroes, like in the comics. Guarding powers and protecting from evil. Heroes soon gained citizenship, and their heroism became an official position.

Based on their performance, they are rewarded. Money from the government and fame from the people are the ways in which you see it as entertainment and how the government manipulates people into thinking that way.

'Without heroes, there is no light. Huh, what a bunch of idiotic people' Some may find it bitter, but not you. It was just all nonsense, as this power they called quirk... is just saying that they can't depend on themselves without having one.

They need a quirk to join the society, to be noticed. Then what about the one who doesn't have it? They were just left out and called quirkless. People who are just ordinary just need to stay on the shelf forever.

Well, that wasn't the case with the infamous 'Nefario' as back then, the quirkless people called her a hero for letting them out of their shelves. And be called a villain when they tried to defend her.

Until now, among the pool of quirckless people Hope that one day 'Nefario' would come back and help them off their shelves once more.

"You're fired!"

Back at the office in the middle of the night, two people are in a room discussing an important matter. While everyone was already home, resting to start another tiring day.

You are still in the office, getting yelled at by your boss, who is telling you the reason why you got fired.

"You got the wrong information; this is wrong, and this. What the heck is this?"

"It's the new debut hero, Mt. Lady,"

"I see that, but the way you took the picture is all wrong!"

This is the thing you don't like about society. How they saw women as an object just because you didn't picture Mt. Lady Ass. Where you already suspect that your boss just wanted to own it himself.

"When tomorrow morning comes, I want you to pack all your things. Dismiss."

He didn't even need to say that, as you will be gone in an instant and before he could even turn around and face away from you. Which is a bad move.

"Sure do. But before I leave I bought you a present."

"Wha-?"

He didn't even get to scream; he was just in shock at what he saw. It's like he's seeing something that any other person wouldn't want to see or dream of. He doesn't know why, but after seeing it, his body moved on its own.

He finds himself on top of the building, walking at the edge of the building, and after stepping on the rail, before his eyes completely close.

Is that. He saw the most beautiful night sky full of stars that quickly turned red the mere second his body contacted the ground.

It was surprising and confusing to some people. Some thought the old dude had enough and ended his own life; some thought it was the work of a villain. But others thought it was like the same case as 'Nefario'

"The Dead Fall": no one knows when or where it will happen, and the victim is already showering in their own blood before it makes contact with the ground.

With this new information, the government quickly covered it up with a lie that they're good at. Not wanting to cause chaos, but the chaos they're preventing is already happening.

Among them. Heroes and villains

Even, quirckless people.

•---------•

How's the story so far? This is a prototype, and I wanted to see if someone wanted me to continue it.

[fonulyn]

For the fic ask game, how about 5, 20, and 21?

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

usually i hang onto ideas and the hope i might one day maybe do them lol, but there's a few I ditched and am 99% never gonna write.

okay so, i had this idea for an au where the zombies never happen, Leon starts in RC as a rookie cop, and there he meets Claire and they become fast friends. at the same time, he meets an obnoxious and annoying firefighter called Chris on a lot of the scenes, and it's hate at first sight :'D well, not quite, but they get off on the wrong foot and Chris is kinda obnoxious because he recently had to come back to his hometown from the big city, bc he ran into some troubles there. he hates it in RC, he never wanted to be back, but at least he gets to be with his old crew (Jill and ...idk, other people lol). but yeah he's dealing with a lot of shit, and it makes him grumpy, and he also doesn't know how to flirt so his attempts may backfire and annoy Leon.

so anyhow after a bigger job they sleep together, kinda warm up to each other, Leon thinks he may have misjudged Chris. goes to bring Chris coffee to the fire station, then talks with someone, there's misunderstandings and Leon "finds out" (wrong) that Chris is dating Jill. Leon thinks Chris is a homewrecker and ices him out and there goes their budding relationship. Leon tries to date other people, doesn't rly like anyone, bc is still pining after Chris, and ...somehow they sort it out.

in one version Leon had a dog who loved Chris and it was awkward when they bumped into each other bc the dog wanted to run to Chris and Leon did not, lol.

i've got a jumbled outline and some dialogue snippets written but yeah this fic is never happening. if someone wants to adopt it, go for it!

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

I don't even remember 90% of the titles I've given fics :'D I have this one big doc where I have all the names and I ctrl+F when I'm naming a new fic to see if I already used that name (or something very similar lol). maybe without hope, without fear, tbh. I think it's very fitting.

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

oh, multiple times. most recently I deleted like 2.5k of I crave therefore I am, because it just didn't work out like i wanted it to. the scene where they meet Ada was in a completely different setting, it was longer, and there was just... i got stuck. hated everything in my life lol. but then i deleted a big chunk and started over and I feel the fic turned out better, at least.

-

for these fic asks!

and thank you so much for asking! :D 💖

[beantothemax]

(Behold. Four braincell au travel banter. No angst here :)))

“Similar Experiences”

Ritsu: “Defeating the Devil called Poverty” huh? Nice dream.

Partitio: Yeah. I heard of towns running dry but when no amount of stories could prepare me for when Orerush ran dry. It hit us all hard. Saw a lot of people lose their jobs and every day was a struggle to put Leaves on the table.

Ritsu: I hear you. I came from a poor family back in Ku. My mother died due to health complications and my father for a while was the main source of income. He died however to corrupt soldiers and soon I became my sister’s primary caretaker. If it weren’t for Hikari I believe I would still be at Ku struggling to feed Mikka.

Partitio: Looks like Poverty tried to kill the both of us.

Ritsu: Indeed. Unfortunately for it, we’re still here. I have no doubt that you’ll be able to bring riches to all families suffering under Poverty Partitio.

Partitio: Ehehe. Thank ye kindly Ritsu. I have no doubt that you’ll be able to lift up the lower class when you get back to Ku.

Ritsu: Hah. Let us hope so.

————————————

“Math Problems”

Rai Mei: Professor Vanstein, you are a mathematics professor correct?

Osvald: I used to be.

Rai Mei: But you still are an expert at mathematics.

Osvald: Of course. Just because I was imprisoned doesn’t mean my knowledge dulled.

Rai Mei: Excellent. I came to ask you for advice on a particular math problem I am having trouble on.

Osvald: Oh? Go on then.

Rai Mei: Well, suppose there is someone who is trying to flip off their spear onto the enemy. What would be the exact mathematics to do it?

Osvald: Well first that would depend on the height of both the spear and person, the person’s weight, the height of the enemy, and the height the person is flying. Do you have all those factors?

Rai Mei: …Not exactly.

Osvald: Ah. That makes it harder then. If you don’t mind, may I ask why you are interested in this problem?

Rai Mei: …It may be because I myself want to do this technique. I have tried doing it in the past but I often ended up missing or accidentally stabbing myself.

Osvald: …

Rai Mei: …

Rai Mei: Apologies I shouldn’t have asked you-

Osvald: Well it would be easier if you demonstrate this trick yourself. Provided without a spear first to collect the proper data without you stabbing yourself.

Rai Mei: !!!

Rai Mei: Of course Professor Vanstein! I’ll get started right away!

————————————

“Lonely”

Ochette: Mr Kazan are you lonely?

Kazan: Excuse me?

Ochette: Are you lonely? ‘Cause you smell lonely most of the time. That and sad. Kind of like how Temenos smells.

Kazan: Ah. Well not to worry Ochette. I assure you that I am a lot less lonely than I am before. But Ochette why-

Ochette: That’s good to hear! I don’t like the idea of you getting lonely! You’re super smart and clever! The idea that no one wants to be your friend is weird.

Kazan: …

Ochette: Mr Kazan are you okay? You’re crying.

Kazan: I- I’m just fine Ochette. Something just caught in my eye.

————————————

“Siblings”

Ritsu: Kazan do you have any siblings?

Kazan: Oh? What brought this question on?

Ritsu: Well it’s just that you, Castti, and Osvald are usually the people to make sure we aren’t doing anything stupid. Well…until it’s you, me, and Rai Mei. Then Hikari is the one doing it.

Agnea: Yeah Kazan! You kind of radiate an older brother aura. Sort of like Ritsu!

Kazan: Do I? Well…I do have a younger sister.

Ritsu: And why haven’t we ever hear of this younger sister? I would have loved to meet her.

Kazan: That would be sue to me sending her away to get away from the wars of Ku. I didn’t want my sister to experience that.

Ritsu: …That makes sense. I probably would have done the same if I had enough money to do so.

Agnea: If Pala ever had to grow up in an environment like that I probably would do what you did. It isn’t the best solution but it’s the only thing you could do in those circumstances.

Ritsu: Do you still write to each other?

Kazan: Of course. It is, however hard to keep in touch with her moving out and about. Her job requires her to travel.

Agnea: Well, as long as you still keep in touch I think your bond will be strong as always. You’re a good brother Kazan.

Ritsu: Indeed. Perhaps when Ku is at peace, you can invite her over. I’m sure Mikka would be thrilled to meet her.

Agnea: Oh and if you don’t mind I want to invite Pala along! Fair warning though, she probably will go and flirt with your sisters if she thinks they’re pretty and ask them to be her wives!

Kazan: That sounds splendid. I’ll keep that in mind.

————————————

“Unit of Benkei”

Hikari: How many Benkeis do you think this Steam Engine would be? I have heard it was a powerful source but at the same time, Benkei is also powerful.

Ritsu: Hikari what the fuck are you talking about.

Kazan: Well I believe that its power would be at least 5 Benkeis. We’ve seen it in action. It’s only reasonable that 5 Benkeis would be the equivalent power.

Ritsu: Kazan????

Rai Mei: Hm. I actually think it would be 10 Benkeis. What we are seeing here is only industrialization for every day uses. If we go bigger then we surely will see incredible pieces of work that surpasses the strength of 10 Benkeis!

Ritsu: Rai Mei!!!????

Hikari: Surpassing 10 whole Benkeis!?

Kazan: Surpassing 10 whole Benkeis…

Rai Mei: Surpassing 10 whole Benkeis!!!

Ritsu: I hope all of you know that if Ku soldiers are in town, I’m turning the three of you in just because of this conversation.

————————————

“Assurance”

Ritsu: Hikari, what was that back there in the Arena?

Hikari: Pardon?

Ritsu: Back in the arena, when you fought Zeto. You went and zoned out like you did in battles and started fighting like you were possessed.

Ritsu: It looked like you were going to kill him.

Hikari: Ah…

Hikari: There is an explanation for that but I’m afraid it’s quite difficult to explain and unbelievable. I don’t believe it’s a good time to tell you now sue to current circumstances.

Ritsu: That’s fine.

Ritsu: Just know that whatever it is, it won’t change the fact that you are my friend. I would still follow you no matter what you tell us.

Hikari: …Thank you Ritsu.

————————————

“Had we not met.”

Ori: I offer this gift of blood. May the flames turn cold and dark.

Kazan: There’s no need for that Ori.

Ori: I- Brother!? What are you doing here? Don’t you need to quench the flames at-

Kazan: I don’t think we need to do this anymore.

Ori: What do you mean?

Kazan: I mean we shouldn’t quench the Flames. We should let the world see another Dawn.

Ori: What!? But didn’t- Didn’t you say that the world was sick? Didn’t we see what the world did to what little we have? Didn’t we see what the world fought for? Oboro didn’t we see it all!?

Oboro: …We did. And I’m not saying I don’t think the world is perfect. It still is a cruel and unsightly world but it surprisingly isn’t all of that.

Oboro: There are people who unexpectedly try to make this world better. Who fight for a better tomorrow and try to genuinely make it better. Not because of fame, power, or wealth, but because it’s the right thing to do.

Oboro: Over my journey I found many people who are better than I thought them to be. Some of them were as evil as I thought but most were not what I first assumed.

Oboro: Most were just trying to get by in their own way. Trying to be better, to get through the day.

Ori: But- But we got this far! We can’t just stop now! Not when we’re so close!

Oboro: Ori I’m sorry but I don’t think this is the best solution anymore.

Ori: No. No that’s bullshit. You’re not my brother. You’re just- You’re just something that replaced him!

Oboro: Ori. Don’t do anything rash.

Ori: I offer this gift of blood! May the flames turn cold and dark and may darkness entomb the world!

Oboro: ORI-

KIWI THANK YOU FOR PUTTING MY DUMB IDEAS INTO TRAVEL BANTER FORM I LOVE THESE

RAI MEI ASKING OSVALD ABOUT THE MATHEMATICS OF DOING A KICKFLIPNIFF OF HER SOEAR….. she’s nothing if not dedicated

ritsu just being completely out of the loop while the other three all use Benkei as a unit of measurement like it’s completely normal is amazing I love love love this. surpassing ten whole benkeis!!!!

BDBSGGXG GC love agnea warning kazan that pala will try and flirt with ori the first chance she gets.

love kazan crying after ochette says one (1) nice thing to her. he’s just like me fr

oh. oh ok just read the last banter and. I’m sad now. ori saying that oboro isn’t her brother anymore… if you’ll excuse me I need to go cry in a pillow

[ramblingdisaster73]

Thoughts while rewatching 4x01 - 4x04 -

Episode 4x02 - this does include thoughts that span the whole arc - so spoilers ahead.

Not at all hard to figure out why the trailer couple would get divorced – both are a bit unhinged – and not in a “I am going to save the love of my life way”

I love how the white dude was able to just say “Naw, I don’t feel like pulling over officer”. Like – it really is a great example of policing in the US.

The lady is crazy – I am not looking forward to seeing her again in 4x05 – especially since I think this is what makes her question her judgement in 4x05 – causing her to decide to resign.

Texas sure has a lot of cops that just like to hang out in their gear with their guns – for a “party” – this is about the Mile Marker 23 scene – it was all performative to have that many resources there – first part of this arc that makes the cops look super stupid.

What is the age of retirement for active duty firefighters? They tend to keep the characters at a similar age to the actor playing them – Judd being 40ish like Jim, Paul being in his late 30’s like Brian. It seems like TK, Carlos, Grace, & Marjan are the same. I am not sure about Nancy & Mateo –

I love Grace & Tommy’s relationship – I love the chicken clucking conversation

I love the way they call each other out – but, always with love and actual advice or a well-served look.

I do like the way the director used the actors in the loft dinner scene – telling each actor different information to keep them all on their toes – it worked so well.

AT NO POINT DO I DOUBT THE LOVE BETWEEN CARLOS & TK – I just think a lot of this storyline could have been made cleaner – but when the primary goal is to find a way to blame TK – this is what you get.

An 8 WEEK wedding – that also needs to have a divorce preceding it (but only one of them knew this), Iris demanding to meet said unaware fiancé – like TK was at a job interview for a job he already thought he had – and his fiancé is just like “Oh its totally cool – you just aren’t allowed to have reactions or try to make this impossible wedding happen even though I am the one that put us in this position by my complete inability to address my own problems.” – like this was to set up the blame game.

They could have done the kidnapped storyline without the married part – or still kept the married part – but put the blame where it actually goes – on the guy that kept his legal status a secret from the man he agreed to marry.

Do they think they are making Owen look like anything other than incompetent at any aspect of his life with the exception of being a firefighter?

I thought the chemistry between Tommy & Charles was pretty good – but DAMN – the chemistry between her & Rev. parks is insane (I do know that they played a couple in a different show).

Tommy is so fucking stunning – like absolutely stunning. I don’t think I will survive when she wears the other black dress we saw in the promos – I am hoping it is in 4x07 which, by the title, sounds like a Tommy episode.

I love the Tommy/Owen scene in 4x02 – so fucking much – it’s my #2 scene of the episode – so perfect

The dialog – their expressions – their platonic chemistry all gave us this hilarious scene – but – please don’t take relationship advice from this man.

“I’m so flattered” followed by “You weren’t in it.” Was so needed – like, I love it so much.

Gee, who called Donna Burton being the body in the closet from the 4x04 promo? – oh yeah, me. (& I am sure plenty of others, but I knew there was a reason to say her name in 4x02)

Ronen’s acting has been fucking amazing this season (Rafa’s too, but a lot of people are so focused on Rafa that Ronen’s is overlooked). His eyes can break your heart or heal it on their own.

The facial expressions on these cast members are priceless - as someone with a very expressive face – I really appreciate it. You see how they feel a lot of the time, even when the dialog doesn’t give us that information.

The heartbreaking realization that he could be seen as a project to Carlos – or honestly, even worse, his life’s work – God that procession of expressions through out that scene was beautiful – and I FELT IT

I feel so bad for the Rev, thinking he was on a date with a gorgeous woman – only to find it was with the gorgeous woman, her best friends & their child, along with her daughters – he handled it so well.

I love the looks that Grace gives – she was giving them for me

The situational awareness that Owen Strand possesses is at a negative level – and keeps getting worse.

The loft scene is my favorite of the episode and one of my top 5 over all Tarlos scenes. The communication is beautiful – but tragic when we find out that TK was sitting with these thoughts since the day before – making him question everything – as they probably should have. –I think his question to Carlos was very valid.

I like it when people can realize that they aren’t broken – I like that Carlos showed us his vulnerability with this – that he actually responded to TK’s questions instead of joking or brushing them off.

Still can’t get over Judd being so oblivious to the fact he was part of the 3rd, 4th, & 5th wheels on his best friend’s date with their pastor. Or Grace’s response when she realized how clueless he was.

I love Grace calling her out – it was so funny & needed.

I like that one of the over all themes of 4x02 was humor – since most of the humor in the next 2 episodes were fairly unintentional I think.

[bejuledjules17]

I’m feeling at a loss.

If I stand up for myself, I’m an asshole. If I don’t say anything, I’m a doormat. It feels like many people don’t like me, for what seems like no reason. I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Or why I even care so much about other people’s view of me. Why do I need to be liked so much? Or maybe, why do I want to be liked? To quote Halsey, “why do you need love so badly?”

I don’t even want to be like this. I want to not care. How do people even do that? I’ve been working at this for over 30 years. I’m exhausted. I want to recluse. But I want to be included in things too. I don’t have any close friends anymore. I’ve moved too much. I’ve finally settled down in where I want to live & stay. Ever since the pandemic started, it’s been even harder to make friends.

I’ve only had three best friends in my life. All in different states. One in high school, one in college & one right before COVID started. Only one of them is in the current state I live in, and unfortunately I had to end things with her. I can be the bestest friend ever, do anything for that person, be there whenever. It’s been so hard to find someone willing to do the same for me. I’m constantly giving my all to others and getting breadcrumbs in return. I even tried to meet friends thru BumbleBFF. I met someone who I thought was great, but as soon as I started to pull away to see if they’d reach out; they never did. We were literally texting novels to each other for months. Getting into the deep stuff, what we were looking for in a friend among other things. We finally met up after months of texting & snapchatting. And honestly it was great! We were back to texting everyday after that. Over the next several of months I asked her to hang out at least 5 times. We only made solid plans one of those times and then she cancelled on me at the VERY last minute and never rescheduled. Which is why I gave up in the first place.

Thankfully, I’ve found my partner, the love of my life. We got married last week. Truly, he’s someone who treats me like a queen. I am so so so happy with that part of my life, but why am I so unhappy with other parts? Why can’t I just be happy, content even? My husband is amazing, but he’s also very introverted. He doesn’t really talk much to others except for me. Which is really special in some ways. He can’t always give me what I need in the sense of going out, being social. I don’t necessarily want to do these things all the time, but I do every one in a while.

Oh and my job. My job has me in a weird position. My business is solely based on me, my skills & my personality. My job is great for my personality type. I talk a lot, which helps distract my clients from the pain of getting waxed. I feel that I have gained so many friendships through my work, but it’s surface level. I’ve hung out with a few of them outside of my work and that’s been great. But I also don’t want to overstep. I still need to be a professional. I thought my coworkers would be a safe bet since we have similar personalities & stuff in common. Boy was I wrong. Every thing I’ve done has gone down in flames. Scorching hot flames. I hosted a clothing swap that literally no one showed up to. Went to FL for a hair show to hopefully bond with the other ladies that were going; I felt so isolated & ended up in tears.

Like, am I annoying? Is that what this is? It feels like people avoid me like the plague. Like they’ve all had this secret meeting to warn the others about me. Yet, I know my clients love me. & I’ve had some great friendships in the past. So I don’t know where the disconnect is.

Anyways, all the questions are rhetorical & I just needed to vent. Ty if you read this 🩷

[trixtersurvs]

003.

COVID

How is Covid where you live? It's been rampant here lately. Pretty much everyone I know has had it recently, even people who I figured would never end up having it. I'm not sure about the statistics themselves but it's definitely been going around again

Are you having a food shortage crisis due to drivers having covid and unable to work? Not that I'm aware of

Are you using check in QR codes or filling in manual check ins everywhere you go? I'm not sure what this is referring to

Are you washing your hands/using sanitizer when you can? Yes, I am obsessive about hand washing/sanitizing

What is one thing about covid that is driving you insane? That is just keeps coming back. I know it'll become endemic and we'll have to deal with it forever but I'm tired of it

Are you sick of everyone talking about covid? No one really talks about it like that anymore

Do you find you clash with anyone when discussing covid? Yes. My grandma doesn't believe it's real, I'm pretty sure, and my mom is really lax about masking so we get into it sometimes

What are your thoughts on the vaccinations and boosters? Necessary

What has covid taken from you or prevented? I'm strictly work from home now because of COVID, 3 years later, and it's so isolating

Do you know anyone that has covid? how are they doing? Currently? I think my friend has it but she was never diagnosed. She has the exact same symptoms I had though. I just recovered from my first round of COVID ever a week ago

LIFE

How is life for you right now? It's stressful

Are you Okay? Okay is pushing it but sure

What is impacting your life the most right now? Work

What is something positive that has happened to you recently? I don't know... I guess I got my writing groove back?

Any goals for 2022? It's 2023 now but yeah, I have some I guess. Mainly, find a new fucking job because my bosses are micromanagers who can't decide on what they want ever

Did you make any new year resolutions? No

Seeing many friends through the pandemic? Always

Are you studying? No, but honestly? I'd like to go back to school and do another degree program

Are you working? Unfortunately

Any new hobbies? No

FRIENDS

Who is your best friend? K, D, C

How long have you been friends? All between 11-14 years

What is something about them that makes you smile? K's sense of humor, D's sass, C's loving nature

Have they ever supported you through something major? Yes, always

Tell me a memory of you both together? K's wedding featured all 3 of us, but I have some great memories of each individually too!

Ever travelled together? K and I have. I don't think D or C and I have ever traveled together – at least not very far

Do you share similar interests? K and I do. D and C are a little less similar but we still share some interests

One band or artist you both enjoy? Lord, I don't even know

One hobby you both enjoy? K and I both love writing!

What is something you disagree on? I honestly couldn't tell you

Name a movie you both love. I don't know, man

Name a television show you both enjoy? ^

Any nicknames for each other? Oh yeah, we've all got nicknames for the others 😂

PARTNER

Do you have a partner? Yes

Where Did You Meet? In a Zoom meeting, funnily enough

Who made the first move? He did. He was such a flirt

Have you or have they said ‘I Love You’? Yes

Do you get bored in a long term relationship? No

Much drama in your relationship? We've had maybe more than most but not too too much

Are they loyal and loving? Yes

Name 3 things you have in common: We both love to cook, we both have traumatic childhoods, and our sex drives and kinks match so well

RANDOM

Where are you from? The US

If you could travel ANYWHERE right now, money wasn’t a barrier, where would you go and why? I'd travel all of Europe