#it’s like genuinely thematically satisfying and tragic

[girlfailurefelix]

is this a safe space to say i considered (and still do) the possibility that glamfreddy was the one that tore glambonnie apart

[iamthedukeofurl]

While what happened to studio ZAUM and the Disco Elysium creators is undeniably tragic, it's honestly the most thematically coherent way that particular story could end. A passionate group of creatives creates a massively successful product, it's weird and innovative and, while it certainly draws a ton of inspiration from various existing works and genres, it synthesizes them into something unique enough that I'd say it would be impossible to predict that there even WOULD be an audience for it until it was released. It's openly political, but not in a way that necessarily makes anybody feel good about their existing beliefs. The entire thing is crafted and driven by deep passion and excellent writing and more than a little bit of insanity. And then, once it became clear that it was a genuine major phenomenon, the investors stole the company and the IP out from under the creatives. Which, yeah, that tracks for the Funny Communism Game. Otherwise, what are the options? The creators make another game, but fail to capture the lightning in the bottle of the original. The ideas that were once so fresh and unique are now expected, meaning that they'll be condemned for failing to reuse them by the people who just want to play Disco Elysium again for the first time, but won't have the same impact on people. Ends with a whimper. "What happened to the Disco Elysium guys" "Oh they made Disco Elysium II: Disco Elysiumer, but it kind of sucked". The creators could make another game, and it's wildly successful again, and they make a ton of money off of it. Capitalism Works and, just this once, people are rewarded for their ingenuity and passion. Eventually you either go back to number 1, or "Makers of Funny Communism Game are rich now". Like, genuinely the best outcome from a "People deserve to be rewarded for putting things people love into the world" standpoint, but thematically a bit eh. Worst case scenario, you get a repeat of Notch. I guess a variant of option 1 has them TRY to catch the lightning in a bottle again but fail to make anything they're satisfied with as the studio breaks up in frustration in an ironic repeat of the in-game story of Fortress Occident.

Instead, they make Funny Communism game, it's wildly successful, but instead of receiving the rewards promised under capitalism, somebody leverages the fact that they have access to capital to steal the studio out from under them and claim the rewards of their passion and labor. Karl Marx would have something to say about that.

[thelordofgifs]

Writing Year Wrapped

Thank you for the tag @eilinelsghost - what a lovely idea!

3 Favourite Fics You've Written This Year

the fairest stars (T, 78k, in progress). So much of myself has gone into this fic since I started writing it all the way back in February. I love all the characters (Maedhros and Maglor my beloveds!!), I love how much it's taught me about plot and structure and evil cliffhangers, and I love sharing it with all my wonderful kind enthusiastic readers!

Ilimbë (T, 15k, complete). This was a new venture for me, both genre and ship-wise, but it was just so much FUN. I like writing things that make me feel clever, and this is probably my most unabashedly pretentious fic. But also baby Fëanor is everything to me now.

in the breaking (G, 2k, complete). I used to call this my best m&m fic, although tfs is probably my best m&m fic. But in the breaking is still one of my favourite explorations of their tragic tender codependent dynamic.

3 Fics That Stretched You the Most

Inflection (G, 10k, complete). This one was SO hard to write - getting the first draft out was very much blood, sweat and tears. The nuances of the kidnap fam dynamic are very hard to get right, balancing the canonical love with Elrond and Elros' genuine trauma. I'm still not entirely sure I got it quite to my satisfaction, but I'm pleased with the final result all the same.

the fairest stars. Yes I'm listing it twice. I'm very fond of tfs, but plotting it out can be SO hard sometimes (which is one of the reasons why part 31 is taking a while to write). I just counted and there are TEN separate plot threads to keep track of at the moment, which is... a Lot.

the salt of the sea (E, 2k, complete). Shoutout to my first proper smut! Definitely a new venture for me (I hadn't written this pairing before, either). People were very kind about it, though.

3 Favourite Lines You've Written

Maedhros has never loved anyone without making of them a god – it is all tangled together in his mind, worship with affection, ardour with idolatry. (tfs, part 29)

To love Maedhros, he has long known, is to grieve him. (tfs, part 22)

Fëanor had never been kissed before. It took him a moment to respond, but then he found he was kissing Nerdanel back and it was the easiest, most familiar thing in the world; her messy curls were brushing his face and one of her strong sure hands had travelled down to rest against the small of his back and there was nothing that had ever been more real than the warmth of her pressed against him; she was certainty itself, as solid as marble, no crafted thing to be shaped and changed, but a maker and a preserver and a promise of forever; and her mouth against his was hot and sweet and golden as the taste of a Laurelin-ripened peach. (Ilimbë)

3 Characters You Enjoyed Writing (that surprised you)

Lúthien! I didn't have many thoughts about her before starting tfs, but she's one of my favourite characters in it now, and so essential to the themes of the story.

Fëanor was a struggle to wrap my head around initially: in my opinion one of the biggest flaws of all those that follow, for example, is the way Fëanor only appears at the edges of the narrative, when I could really have stood to flesh his relationship with Fingolfin out a lot more. Writing Ilimbë really helped me gain a much better understanding of what makes him tick, which was very satisfying, and I do think his characterisation is one of the biggest strengths of that fic.

gonna cheat slightly for the third one and say all my little baby OCs from the glassmaker! OC-centric fic isn't something I'd tried before, but I'm very fond of them now.

3 Unexpected Inspirations

Maedhros' hair in in the breaking is this whole important thematic thing, but the truth is. I also have very long and silky hair and it is a PAIN to deal with. You cannot picture the number of times I have sat on my bed at 1am furiously yanking a hairbrush through it and gone "DID it take long hours to brush out to smoothness again? you fucking bet." Sadly I do not have a codependently devoted sibling to tenderly brush my hair for me, so I have to do it myself.

tfs was initally inspired by some tumblr discourse about Beren and Lúthien's motivations in stealing the Silmaril! which I think is kind of neat. It strikes me as very indicative of the collaborative nature of fandom: a couple of people have a debate, and then someone else goes away and writes fic about it, and then people draw art of the fic... and on the cycle goes.

an ancient song is a very small little ficlet, but it was also inspired by some tags on a tumblr post! Always fun when that happens.

3 WIPs You're Excited About in the Upcoming Year

Ooh, now I feel like I'm committing to having these finished in the next year...

The Unburied: the longfic I am very slowly working on, and managed to put 20k words towards in November. It follows Fingon as he crosses the Helcaraxë and Maglor as he rules in Mithrim, ending with the first rising of the Sun. I am excited about this fic, but it's an ambitious project and very challenging! Also my brain can't really handle working on two different longfics at once, so it's on the backburner until tfs is finished, and who knows when that will be tbh.

boats against the current: another rather old WIP that is complicated and difficult to plot out. This one is the "Maedhros doesn't swear the Oath" AU. Still very attached to the idea! Maybe I'll get somewhere with it soon.

sore must be the storm: my shortest WIP! Surely I can sit down and finish it in the next few weeks (I have been saying, for months). Just some (messy and complicated) russingon after Fingolfin's death.

3 People Tagged to Share Theirs

No-pressure tags for

@searchingforserendipity25

@that-angry-noldo

@welcomingdisaster!

[paragonrobits]

No offense but your idea is way too needlessly dour for the Psychonauts universe, which is thematically about hope and forgiveness and understanding if you missed that part.

I suppose that's a fair point though I do have to contend that this is the setting with several characters who have fundamental details such as 'this antagonist was raised by psychic-hating parents who literally destroyed his psychic abilities by having him lobotomized' or 'this maternal and caring teacher was tormented by feeling the dying pain of the orphans she cared for as they burned to death' and so on. It might be argued that these don't count because they are largely backstory specific, and aren't usually shown on screen, but again, tragic stuff is not terribly unusual here.

Consequently, while a complete lack of reconciliation is a bit unusual by the standards of Psychonauts, it doesn't feel specifically dissonant; if anything I'd argue it makes a point about consequences. If you don't want your children hating you and cutting you entirely out of their lives, you probably shouldn't make them miserable or spend so much of your on screen time making the audience feel tremendous empathy for how upset the character's child feels at it.

I also honestly don't think Psychonauts is specifically about those themes per se. In terms of gameplay it's deliberately a psychedlic action platformer that uses the premise of mental worlds to engage in storytelling through the use of level design, and in terms of plot it has many different feels; at times its sad, and other times its far more comedic and even outright runs on black comedy (depending on whether or not you feel it counts if the characters in question are mental constructs or metaphorical entities, but we DO see the dark comedy in stuff like the cheerleader duo in the first game and their running plotline).

It IS true that the game deals heavily with reaching out to people and trying to help them, but its not exclusively about hope, forgiveness and understanding. Plenty of times characters wind up in situations where there's no magic cure all, no happy reconciliation and just a bunch of questions left unanswered or regrets. The second game shows this neatly with Augustus admitting that while he cares for Nona, he's deeply conflicted after having lived a lie most of his conscious life. Coach Oleander never reconciled with his father and just kind of has to live with his miserable memories and no real closure on whether his dad was as brutal as his memories say (as this isn't really explored in game, but the series bible found on-line, while having details contradictory to the second game, doesn't have anything to contradict the stuff with Oleander's father) and he just died while Oleander was away, and... that's it. He's dead, end of story, that's not going to go anywhere.

And sometimes that's pretty much it. Things break so badly they never get fixed and sometimes, its a waste of time even trying, so you just move on. Psychonauts often seems to deal with a mix of dark comedy and genuine narrative about people doing the best they can with what they have to deal with. So, assuming Donatella's behavior towards Raz doesn't change much, it's simply not surprising for his resentment to build and build until finally it blows up. (Which, to be plain, I find way more realistic and in some ways, more satisfying than something that leans towards the troubling moral of 'you need to reconcile with family no matter what', especially since he has no real particular reason to do so.)

Also, while off topic, 'if you missed that part' is needlessly passive aggressive and mildly insulting. If you're trying to persuade people towards your argument, its a really bad idea to insult them or at least make it sound like that. It will generally make people resent you and dismiss your argument out of hand. I don't know if persuading me towards your point was the intent of this message, but if it was, its going to be counterproductive more often than not.

[tender-hearteddd]

when aot was just abt to end, there were leaks ofc as there always are lol abt eren not really achieving any of his plans. and so much of the aot fandom, who have never lived through war, were genuinely upset over this. eren literally commits global genocide, he and his plan doesn’t deserve to achieve anything. especially not anything that would benefit him.

eren wasn’t one of my favorites until season 4 because of how utterly fucked up he is. he was a tragic MC who started off as a hero and as the story progressed, became a monster. even though we know what leads to his corruption, genocide is still wrong actually and having a characters worst fear come to life due to their own actions is the sort of tragic irony isayama loves. we’ve already seen isayama do this with reiner, zeke and grisha. it’s satisfying yet devastating at the same time how harsh the story is on them.

and the story should’ve been a lot more harsher to eren instead of the positive reaffirmation he got in 139 and from most of the fandom. eren claims the rumbling was for paradis, like thst shit didn’t kill off most of paradis’ population, and than he claims that it was for his friends (like pieck, who he has never even had a conversation with) but than he admits it was for himself - and it wasn’t satisfying at all because isayama wanted us to feel bad for eren and it worked. never mind the fact that eren killed his own mom, that he manipulated his own father for taking the FT for his own gain, that he annihilated 80% of the world - he did it for his friends 😊 so it’s okay! friendship >>>> genocide 😝

aot taking a very strong stance against eren’s actions and plan, denouncing them as wrong (bc they are) and showing them that nothing good comes out of them is wayyyyyy better the woobification and the mini redemption arc we got from him in the last chapter.

this is why i hate it when aot fans talk abt aot like it’s the greatest anti-war anime ever made. i think majority of aot fans are westerners or come from developed countries. it’s easier to understand war when ur watching cartoons of it instead of actually living through it. a huge part of the fandom justifies eren’s genocide, even with characters explicitly condemning him. do you really think it’s clear with its anti-war message when all we got was a few sad faces and a huge thank you from the main cast? one of the main themes in aot is the moral grayness of the world. the warriors did what they did because they were child soldiers trying to protect their families, EMA would’ve done the same. the scouts raided liberio (and were heavily against it). and masses of innocent people died in the name of other groups interests. there were literally no winners in this at all.

but why have characters that should’ve narratively and thematically been against eren suddenly forgive and praise him?

why break all the characterization, break all those different point of views, for the warriors specifically, if not for the final woobification of eren?

eren could’ve had one of the most extraordinary corruption arcs in all of anime just for that to be ruined and i will forever be mad abt it

[fangirleaconmigo]

My problem with s2 arc for Yen is that all the things you beautifully described that makes Yen Yen were undone by her betrayal. They spend the first half of the season to show us that Yen is more than her magic, she didnt even need magic to win a powerful mage but then with two simple soldiers she's powerless and needs baba yaga and then at no point she can outsmart voleth meir? She didn't even had her in a spell or anything, it was simple: do that and get your power back and at no point Yen, after meeting Geralt and Ciri, couldn't fight it? That makes her weak, the opposite of what the first episodes showed us and we know that Yennefer is. Also the fact that she showed her good heart with everyone in s2 but the two people that were supposed to mean everything in the world for her, is imo the ultimate book Yen betrayal from the writers. Maybe they'll work on that in s3, maybe now i'm mad with the writers and I don't have the patience to see where this is going but I doubt they are talented enough to write a great original story so to deviate from the book to give us this makes me angry. And her sacrifice at the end didn't felt genuine for some reason (bad writing). And I still wonder why, show Yen - like every character in the show - was different from book Yen in s1 too but she was so well written, you could feel everything she felt but that was gone in s2. Lauren said that they didn't know what to do with Yen in s2 and that was shown. Hopefully now that in s3 they have a clearer idea of her story they'll do better. Sorry for the rant and I hope I didn't bother you a lot.

No, nonny, you didn't bother me at all.

Can you guys tell I'm catching up on asks?

This was in response to my post on how TWN S2 treated the women characters. It was mostly positive, with a few critical things.

Again, since there is critique in it (along with the praise, it is balanced) I'm going to tag twn critical.

PLEASE MUTE TWN CRITICAL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE

Yes, even though I loved a lot of Yen's story, I agree that the Voleth Meir and Ciri decision didn't work.

It wasn't about them changing Yen from canon (tho that hurt), it was about their own story not working. For me, Yen's Voleth Meir decision, to bring Ciri to her and endanger Ciri (changing her mind too late), was in conflict with the first part of her development, and that is part of why it didn't work for me.

For example, they show you Yen upset and wanting her magic back because she sees a little girl being taken and she is powerless to help her.

So, the narrative is establishing that she does care and she does want to help, and she wants to protect little girls SO MUCH that she wants her magic back.

So. Then. If at least part of her motivation is her anguish that little girls are being harmed, how does that follow that she almost throws a little girl to Voleth Meir to get her power back? It doubles back on itself. It wants to have its cake and eat it too, so to speak.

It isn't IMPOSSIBLE to get there but it's thematically weak storytelling for me.

You know how some story telling and character development is thematically so cohesive and you completely understand why they do what they do to the point where it's almost tragic sometimes because you're like...that decision is bad, but I know where that character comes from and what their flaws are, so I know this is almost inevitable? You know how you get like a rush from storytelling that good?

That just wasn't it for me.

I'm with you on that one.

And I also agree that they have gone out of their way to develop Yen as someone who, when faced with an A) and B) choices, says "Actually, I'll take F) for Fuck you" and I love that, that is exactly who she is, but then her Voleth Meir decision didn't fit that either.

It just felt jammed in. And yeah, I don't think it's possible to undo and get the relationship we would want between them, at least not in a way that is satisfying and authentic.

But I will be watching, and we shall see. I want them to do my Yenny boo right ffs.

[gayleviticus]

Higurashi - Matsuribayashi Thoughts

At long last i have finally finished matsuribayashi and i'm not entirely sure how i feel. i think it's telling that it took me the second longest out of any higurashi chapter to actually finish (about a month and a half), after onikakushi (5 months), which I almost but not quite outright disliked.

i would say it's decent, but i think it's more interesting to talk about the stuff that didn't work for me than the stuff I did, so the following is going to read as probably more negative than I actually feel (so beware if you are a huge higurashi fan who hates criticism, I don't want to cause you pain)

to be honest a lot of matsuribayashi was a Slog. I have a big aversion to stories that are just way too long for their own good, but the thing is up until now I genuinely felt that Higurashi managed to keep things fresh and interesting enough this massive sprawling length never became a detriment. That's not to say Ryukishi isnt way too verbose and repetitive for his own good, but on the whole every instalment felt like a cool and interesting twist on the Higurashi formula with its own distinct atmosphere, without needing to pull crazy genre shifts or resort to gimmicks. Even the unnerving creeping sense of doom of Watanagashi is very different to the tragic descent into madness of Meakashi, for instance.

Matsuribayashi… to be honest, I did not feel accomplished this. For sure, it's a new type of story for Higurashi, more of an actiony conspiracy theory with a dash of politics. But while perhaps new for Higurashi it feels like a fairly generic story in general. Stuff like 'the games club manage to successfully wage guerilla warfare against hardened mercenaries' is easy to criticise on the basis of unrealism - I don't personally think unrealism or being shonen-esque an inherently bad thing, but it feels weird and off for the kind of story Higurashi has been up til now, and especially by comparison seems like a cheap resolution.

Now, I get that this is a deliberate bait and switch in a sense. Ryukishi offers you a psychological horror where you can trust nobody full of the threat of monsters at every turn, and then gradually takes it apart to promote trusting your friends, working together with your community, extending grace even to the monsters. I get the reasons why it's being done, I get there's a thematic point to Scooby Doo-ing it all. But the sticking point for me is that I feel like the story Higurashi turns into is a lot less interesting than the one it began as.

I'm certainly not against these kinds of bait and switches (ask me why Hell Bent from Doctor Who is one of my favourite pieces of fiction ever). But the crucial thing for me is that the story it ends up as should be just as, if not more interesting than what was promised, or at least more satisfying (even if the initial story has more of an allure of deep lore and shocking reveals).

But I don't know, I… just don't feel like creepy rural horror mystery with ambiguous magic descending into action thriller with a single explicit magic element is an interesting turn of events. And ironically even though Ryukishi justifies the switch by saying that Higurashi's worldview is a nonviolent one, it still turns into the kind of story where the primary means of solving problems IS through action (if not actually killing): breaking into the bad guys' base with guns.

Now, with all that said, it's not a bad ending. None of the narrative decisions it makes are bad. It's no Rise of Skywalker, making such actively ridiculous choices the promise of the previous entries is ruined. It has good moments, and Takano is such a fascinatingly sketched character. But I can't help but feel like it's largely an exercise in ticking plot boxes.

And maybe that's just an inevitable result of a finale to a mystery where the mystery has already been revealed, but part of me feels like the entire government conspiracy angle just pushes the stakes too high where the story has no choice but to shift into an action thriller to solve it. Teenagers in a horror story might be able to fight a monster, but how can they fight hardened mercenaries? There's no choice but to shift genres.

But at the end of the day the above is largely a personal gripe. Obviously I feel strongly about this and it diminished my enjoyment, but I get where Ryukishi is coming from enough I hesitate to say This Is A Flaw, and I don't want my criticms to basically just be 'you should have written a fundamentally different story'.

One thing I did think was actively bad tho and tbh has probably seriously hurt my opinion of Matusribayashi is Fragment Connecting. It felt like 90% painstakingly spoonfeeding you plot points you should already know or have been able to piece together. We often hear 'show don't tell' but I genuinely think Fragment Connecting was an example of this gone way too far; some things can be left to casual exposition.

Ironically it felt like the anti-Onikakushi; it's even more useless filler but at least this time it's purportedly plot relevant! Admittedly I'd imagine this would have been a helpful refresher if you were actually reading the Higurashi installments as they came out.

The rest of Matsuribayashi is better, although it still feels like it doesn't really pick up til Irie escapes the clinic, and even then the action scenes are kind've annoying (I did like infiltrating the clinic though). But it's fine and servicable.

Aside from that, Hanyuu still feels like a bit of a weak link characterisation wise, especially since Matsuribayashi brings a lot in to weigh on her. She's not bad or unlikeable, but I just… don't feel the same attachment to her I do the others. I think Higurashi's strength on the whole is generally the characters, and I think Matsuribayashi did a great job with fleshing ouit Takano last minute tremendously, but Hanyuu is just… I don't know.

On the whole I would say I enjoyed Higurashi, and I wouldn't say my tepid feelings for Matsuribayashi are enough to drag the rest of it down, but I also don't think I especially love it (tho I still need to read Saikoroshi). Keeping me engrossed enough to sit through one million words and eight arcs is an impressive feat in itself, and I'll always have a soft spot for the characters, but I don't know that this will be something that stays with me. But my feelings about Matsuribayashi are in flux even now so I guess we will see.

[micamicster]

You've watched tbs&tdh?! Yay! What's your favourite part, what would you change, and do you have any headcanons for the characters' future? 👀

hi babe! Yes i did--and I wouldn't have if it wasn't for you posting it, so thank you for that! The book series it was based on looked terrible, tbh, so i was surprised by how good the show looked in the gifs you were posting. I really enjoyed it!

I think the best parts of the show were a) the cast. The main three have great chemistry and the lead is charismatic enough to pull off being a tragic chosen one without being a drag, which is hard to find in ya! I also think it was a good decision to cast a black lead. I know opinions and execution varies on this, but I tend to prefer a racial allegory in fiction to be backed up by actually casting a non-white actor in the role. Even though this casting isn't strict throughout the show (its not like all blood witches are black and all fairborns are white), having him be the biracial child of a black father felt like a deliberate choice on the part of the showmakers, not something incidental or shoehorned in.

Love a fantasy road trip. Not much else to say there, just a personal fave of mine <3

The other big thing I really liked about it was the unique style the show had! It felt distinct from other fantasy ya shows, from the costuming to the set design to the mundane, muddy, tramping through the woods scenes. And some of the magic was genuinely very creepy and unique--the scene with mercury possessing his grandmother in particular scared the crap out of me!

And lastly, I loved the decisions made with the relationships. I liked that each of the three central characters has their own arcs and their own relationships with each other--it made the group convincing and balanced. While I wouldn't really have minded a bisexual love triangle (as long as the girl doesn't get sidelined), I really enjoyed where they ended up as something pretty explicitly poly! I was surprised to see that play out so purposefully on screen--i guess id assumed it was mostly fan interpretation, but no, it really seems like what the showrunners were going for!

Now for the negatives lol. (And tbh im inclined to blame most of these on the book series.) Firstly, I think that the magic system is unclear. The idea that each person has a power, fine. But then some of those powers (like gabriels) seem to be just, can do witchcraft and potions? Okay. Also there's no clear distinction between what blood witches and fairborn witches can do. Which is fine if that's the point they're making thematically, but it really seems like there were supposed to be differences in abilities in these two different groups that are just... never shown clearly on screen?

My other criticism would be that I think they've written themselves into a conflict they can't write a satisfying solution to. Which is the problem with discrimination-based fictional conflict--there isn't an easy solution in real life, so it's hard to find one that's satisfying in fiction, unless you have plenty of time and very skilled writers. (Which, lets be real, most ya netflix shows do not have.)

Where would I want them to go from here? I'm rarely of this opinion, but honestly I think they'd be well within their rights to say fuck it, and hop a boat to america or something, leave this all behind. I think the most likely outcome is that they try to use their combined power to force a truce on the adults, initially fail because they're young and easily manipulated, but eventually gain something more equal and lasting. But what I would really enjoy seeing is them all, like, going to the beach. Waiting tables. Getting terrible hobbies. Continuing the fantasy roadtrip but, like, not dying this time. You know?

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 10 of 26

Title: The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890) 

Author: Oscar Wilde 

Genre/Tags: Fiction, Gothic Horror, Third-Person, LGBT Protagonist (I... guess) 

Rating: 8/10

Date Began: 4/13/2021

Date Finished: 4/20/2021 

When artist Basil Hallward paints a picture of the beautiful and innocent Dorian Gray, he believes he’s created his masterpiece. Seeing himself on the canvas, Dorian wishes to remain forever young and beautiful while the portrait ages in his stead. The bargain comes true. While Dorian grows older and descends a path of hedonism and moral corruption, his portrait changes to reflect his true nature while his physical body remains eternally youthful. As his debauchery grows worse, and the portrait warps to reflect his corruption, Dorian’s past begins to catch up to him. 

Perhaps one never seems so much at one’s ease as when one has to play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night could have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as horrible as any tragedy of our age. Those finely-shaped fingers could never have clutched a knife for sin, nor those smiling lips have cried out on God and goodness. He himself could not help wondering at the calm of his demeanour, and for a moment felt keenly the terrible pleasure of a double life. 

Full review, some spoilers, and content warnings under the cut. 

Content warnings for the book: Misogyny (mostly satirical). Racism and antisemitism (not so much). Emotional manipulation, blackmail, suicide, graphic murder, and death. Recreational drug use.

Reviewing a classic novel through a modern lens is always going to be a challenge for me. The world seems to change a lot every decade, let alone every century—whether some canonized classic holds up today is pretty hit or miss (sorry, English degree). And considering the sheer amount of academic focus on classic texts, it’s not like I’m going to have a “fresh take” on one for a casual review. I read and reviewed The Count of Monte Cristo last year, and thought it aged remarkably well over 170+ years.

Somehow I never read Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray for school. I tried reading it independently in my late teens/early twenties, and honestly think I was just too stupid for it. Needing a shorter read before the next Murderbot book releases at the end of the month, I grabbed Dorian Gray off the shelf and decided to give it another shot. By the end, I was pleasantly surprised how much I liked the book.

I’m actually going to discuss my pain points before I get into what worked for me. The first half of the book is very slow-paced. The Picture of Dorian Gray is famous for… well… the picture. But it isn’t relevant until the halfway point of the novel, when Dorian does something truly reprehensible and finds his image in the picture has changed. There’s a lot of setup before this discovery. The first half of the book has a lot of fluff, with characters talking about stuff that happened off screen, discussing various philosophies, and so on without progressing the story. Some of this is fine, as it establishes Dorian’s initial character so the contrast later is all the more striking. I just think it could have been shorter. I realize this comes down to personal taste.

I’m also torn on the Wilde’s writing style. He’s very clever, and there are many philosophical ideas in his writing that did genuinely made me stop and think. The prose is also beautiful and descriptive; this is especially useful when it contrasts the horror elements of the story. However, there’s a lot of unnatural, long monologue in the story. Not sure if it’s the time period, Wilde’s background as a playwright, or just his writing style in general (maybe all three), but the characters ramble a LOT. My favorite game was trying to imagine how other characters were reacting to a literal wall of text. 

I also feel the need to mention this book has some bigoted content, as implied in my content warnings. The misogyny in the story is satirical; it’s spouted by the biggest tool in the book, Lord Henry, whose whole shtick is being paradoxical. You just need basic critical thought to figure that out. However, some things don’t have that excuse. A minor character in the first half is an obvious anti-Semitic caricature. There’s also some pretty racist content, particularly when Wilde describes Gray’s musical instrument collection. While these are small parts of the book, it’d be disingenuous not to acknowledge them.

All that being said, there were many aspects of the book I enjoyed, particularly in the second half. Wilde does a great job characterizing terrible people who fully believe what they say. Lord Henry is an obvious example, and Dorian follows his lead as the story progresses. One of my favorite bits was after Sibyl’s suicide (which Dorian instigated by being a piece of shit). Dorian is initially shocked, but as he and Lord Henry discuss it, they come to the conclusion that her suicide was a good thing because it had thematic merit. It’s just such a brazen, horrible way to alleviate one’s guilt. 

Dorian also goes to significant lengths to justify his actions. At one point, he murders Basil to keep the portrait a secret. While he briefly feels guilty about this, Dorian grows angry at the inconvenience of having killed this man, supposedly an old friend. He even separates himself from the situation, expressing that Basil died in such a horrible way. Bro, you killed him! It was you! The cognitive dissonance is just stunning. 

It’s also viscerally satisfying to read about Dorian’s downfall as his awful choices catch up to him. Dorian becoming tormented by the portrait is just... *chef’s kiss*. Is it surprising? No, it’s pretty standard Gothic horror fare. But there’s something to be said about seeing a genuinely horrible man finally pay for what he’s done after getting away with it for so long. I wish real life worked that way. 

There’s the picture itself, too. I know it’s The Thing most people know about this novel -- but I just think it’s a cool concept. I like the idea of someone’s likeness reflecting their true self, and the psychological effect it has on the subject. Most of the novel is fiction with realistic horror elements, but I like that there’s a touch of the supernatural thanks to Dorian’s picture. It’s an element I wouldn’t mind seeing in more works. 

It's sad to read Dorian Gray with the context of what happened to Wilde. The homoeroticism in the novel is obvious, but tame compared to works today. Wilde and this book are a depressing case study in how queer people are simultaneously erased and reviled in recent history. Wilde was tortured for his homosexuality (and died from resulting health complications) over 100 years ago, yet the 1994 edition of Dorian Gray I read refers to his real homosexual relationship as a "close friendship". It's an infuriating and tragic paradox. Things have improved by inches, but we still have so far to go.  

As I grow older I find I appreciate classic works more than when I was forced to read them for school. The Picture of Dorian Gray is a gripping Gothic horror story. Some aspects didn't age particularly well, but that's true for almost anything over time. If you're in the market for this kind of book, I do recommend it.  

[pynkhues]

what are your top 5 fights??

Oh, gosh! This is such a hard one, because this show really does fights so wel! Even when they don’t entirely land writing-wise, they’re always steeped conceptually in real conflicts that feel genuine to who these characters are (and the performances often go a long way in carrying the weaker points of the writing). It means that almost every (although not every) fight in this show is built off of real friction which lets it throw weight around in a way that’s really emotionally and narratively satisfying.

So basically, I could’ve listed a lot here! But I’ve somehow managed to narrow it down to just five, so that’s exciting, haha.

5. “Just because you want something doesn’t give you the right to take it.” Mary Pat and Boomer. 1.10

This is probably a controversial opinion, but man, this fight just lands for me. Not only does it come after Mary Pat has – on her own and organically – discovered that Boomer’s spying on her, but after she’s gone to Beth seeking answers. As a result, when Boomer comes to vent, he gets a Mary Pat who knows everything.

Allison Tolman and David Hornsby are at their best in this scene, and they perfectly balance the comedy (Mary Pat’s faux ignorance of crime and her darting eyes never fail to make me cackle), to the absolutely devastating (”You know what button I’m talking about.”) in a way that shouldn’t work, but does. In a single scene, the show not only calls Boomer out on his entitlement via Mary Pat calling him on his attempted rape of Annie, but it unpacks Mary Pat’s strength of character amidst her ruthless survivalism and seeming scatter-brained tendencies. Boomer reveals his true character at the same time Mary Pat does, and only one of them is surprising.

It’s also, in hindsight, made only all the more tragic, given we know that Mary Pat not letting Boomer off the hook for his attempted rape of Annie only ends later with her own assault. It’s a fight that succeeded in the moment, but only becomes stronger as the series continues.

4. “I’m that bitch.” Ruby and Stan. 2.02.

I mean!! What can I say about this scene that I haven’t said a million times over? I. Love. It. It’s probably the singularly most cathartic moment this show has ever had, and Retta and Reno know it, both doing their part in a way that lets Ruby shine. Ruby’s always had the most complicated relationship with crime on this show after all, and this is the first moment she really owned it. She’s never liked it, and probably never will, but she knows exactly why she did it, and that much at least she won’t ever regret. It’s extremely satisfying on every level - character, story and thematic.

3. “She had no choice.” Ruby and Annie. 2.10

2.10 is probably one of the messiest episodes of the entire series. The pacing is scattered at best, and the tension often feels mis-weighted. That said, one of the reasons it just feels messy as opposed to frustrating is that amidst some of the awkwardness, it’s also an episode that has some really awesome heavy-hitter scenes, and Annie and Ruby’s fight on the bus is one of them.

On paper, the girls fight a lot, but they’ve actually had very few emotional take-out fights like this one, which is not only as much about the past as it is about the present, but as much about the person who isn’t there as the person who is. Beth’s not in this scene, but she’s felt in more ways than one as Annie tries to throw how Ruby defers to Beth as a friend back at her, while Ruby tries to throw all Beth’s done for Annie as her sister back at her in return. It makes for a gruelling, ruthless fight that nobody comes out of unscathed, and it elevates Annie’s insecurity and Ruby moral dilemma in a way that deepens the context of all three of the women’s dynamic.

2. “I’m so stupid he shot me in my own living room / You’re a drug dealer.” Beth and Dean. Beth and Rio. 2.07.

This is totally a cheat, haha, because they’re technically two fights, but I choose to view them just as extensions of each other as opposed to separate fights, but yes! The 2.07 fights after Jane goes missing!

So many of the fights on this show are about characters revealing hands – in fact, every fight on this list is – but I don’t think any episode embodies that as much as 2.07 does.

This episode elevates and escalates tensions in a way that functions as an emotional reveal and a narrative trust in ways it’s never done as fully before. Every part of this fight builds not only off the fact that Beth inherently trusts Rio when it comes to her children – something that proves deserved at the end when he brings her back the dubby – but that she inherently doubts Dean with her children – something that, again, is proved deserved by the end of the episode when it turns out Jane’s still in the house, despite Dean’s frantic pleas to the contrary, and later in 2.08 when he takes them.

Those fundamental truths are only doubled down on in this episode with both Dean and Rio calling Beth out on exactly who she is – Dean via her association with Rio, and Rio by telling her that she’s a drug dealer – and the episode ending on the hook of Ruby coming clean to Beth. Season 2 might’ve been a lot of smoke, but 2.07 was all mirrors, and all of them were faced at Beth – making pivotal demands that would, of course, come to a head across the last few episodes of the season.

1. “Why?” Ruby and Stan. 3.08

One of the best bits of writing advice I ever got was that the most narratively satisfying conflicts come when both people are right, and nobody’s wrong, and that’s entirely what this argument is steeped in. I have a lot of thoughts on the fact that season 3 was devoted to Ruby and Stan’s moral realignment (a pivotal thing that needed to happen for them to regain their balance as a couple), and in a lot of ways, that’s what this fight is about.

They both feel the injustice of their lives as much as they feel their recent moral slip. They feel the ways they’ve suffered as much as they feel their love, and their luck in having found that love. Ruby’s determination to steer them back on some sort of path while Stan just wants to finally bring his family what he’s always worked too hard to offer them is a really steep, deep narrative conflict and one there’s no easy answer for. It’s a perfect stalemate, and it’s one articulated perfectly with Ruby’s refusal to wear the ring Stan’s bought her and Stan’s refusal to return it.

It’s a frustrating, wrenching scene, and one drummed home by Retta and Reno’s performances, but if they worked together to make Ruby shine in 2.02, they work together here to give a voice to Stan’s pain. Reno’s delivery of ‘why’, and his face afterwards, aches in a way that tells of years of sucking it up, and you feel it when he can’t quite hide it anymore, and when Ruby’s left to grapple with it too. 

The fight is painful, because, like  I said at the start of this point, neither of them are wrong, and watching them renegotiate this fight after the fact is just another reason why Stan and Ruby are one of the best couples on TV.

So! That’s me, haha, but you’ve made me so curious now! I’d love to know what other people’s favourite fights are! There are so many to choose from, haha.

[linkspooky]

Am I allowed to ask you who your top five characters are in Bleach?

Bleach is one of my favorite mangas of all time. If you were to track the evolution of my favorite manga growing up it would go Yu Yu Hakusho -> Bleach. The strength of the manga was always its characters, and while there are a lot of characters from Bleach I’m still fond of there are only two that come to mind as standout faves. 

These are lists of my faves and I only put characters on the list if I can come up with a good enough reason why they’re a fave. For me there’s a difference between “Characterse I like from a Series” and a “Fave”. A fave I would like even outside of that series. I have high standards. I’m a picky bitch that’s impossible to please. But anyway, here are my top two faves from Bleach. 

1. Ulquiorra Cifer  - "If this eye cannot see a thing, then it does not exist. That is the assumption under which I have always fought. What is this "heart?" If I tear open that chest of yours, will I see it there? If I smash open that skull of yours, will I see it there?"

The Lust is my favorite arc in all of Bleach. There are a lot of people that were disatisfied with the way it concluded, but thematically it was perfect to me, especially after the fight with Grimmjow which was a much more straightforward and satisfying way to end a shonen rivalry set up between the main character and the villain on the opposite side. 

The Lust is a meditation of nihilism, Ulquiorra’s entire character revolves around the concept. That’s why by the end of the Lust not a single character has gotten what they wanted. Every single character, Ulquirra, Ichigo, Uryu, and Orihime all fail. Ichigo fails to defeat Ulquiorra with his own strength and instead oges out of control and rampages like a monster. Orihime fails at not being a burden when she breaks down and desperately begs Ichigo for help causing him to awaken. Uryu fails to protect Orirhime when everything starts to go wrong. 

Ulquiorra was a hollow whose mask covered his entire face, and because of that all of his senses were cut off from him except for his sight. He wandered the void of hueco mundo alone unable to feel anything. He’s the exact opposite of Grimmjow someone who managed to make companions even as a heartless hollow. He had no one for company, he felt nothing, he saw nothing. Until Ulquiorra came to believe that nothing was all he would ever feel. He’s a heartless monster, and yet at the same time he’s very tragically driven to suicide by the pure isolation alone.

Ulquiorra’s very nihilistic but you get the sense he’s conflicted with that. There’s a part of him that wants to see value in life, which is why Orihime’s behavior always confuses him so greatly. All of her actions seem pointless, and rather than valuing strength like he and the rest of the arrancar do, she somehow manages to continue on while weak because she has the connections to her companions. 

It’s what Ulquiorra realizes he’s tragically lacking in the end. The invisible heart he wanted to see was just, the connection held in other people’s hands. However the moment he finally accepted it and tried to reach out for it in the one girl who refused to hate him, his hand had already faded away. It begs the question of whether Ulquiorra was capable of love, or if all he felt all along was an empty lust. However given how regretful he was at the very end I want to believe it was the former. 

2. Gin Ichimaru “If tomorrow you became a snake, and began to devour people. Then with that same mouth, you cried out to me that you loved me. Would I still be able to tell you “I Love You” the same way that I can today?” 

Gin is a character who its really impossible to categorize as good or bad even up until the end, he’s elusive like that, slippery like a snake. Usually characters like Gin whose main personality trait is ‘mysterious” turn out to be not that interesting once the truth is revealed, but Gin’s arc turned what was a good character into a great one especially the way it ended. 

There’s a lot of characters willing to burn the world for the sake of the people they loved. I think what makes Gin especially unique is Gin’s level of self awareness. When he went to Aizen’s side to take back what he had been stolen from Rangiku he knew he wasn’t doing a good thing. He knew what he was doing would only hurt Rangiku more in the end. Gin acknowledges that at this point it’s not even about Rangiku anymore, it’s his own feelings that won’t forgive Aizen. 

Gin is aware that he’s a bad person, he even revels in it. He goes out of his way to pick at people’s weaknesses, to be cruel, because the mask of a bad person he’s wearing always has to stay on. By that point Gin’s already stripped himself all the way down to utility. The boy who was friends with Rangiku has been swallowed by a snake. And Gin knows how horrifying it must be for Rangiku, to see a snake killing people in front of her, and then with the same voice claiming he’s doing it for her, that he still loves her. He knows and that’s why he distances himself even further from Rangiku and hurts her more. 

Gin’s love is selfish, but it’s also very real. It’s possible that it’s the only real thing about him that’s even left anymore. The more he tries to deny it, the realer it becomes. I find stories where both characters do genuinely love each other, but they’ll never be able to make that love work because neither of them really know how to love to be compelling in a unique way. Most authors will just make ships work in the end without caring much about whether or not the characters are truly compatible, hence why the endgame ships in shonen are usually lack luster. Gin will really only ever really love Rangiku, and Rangiku only ever opens herself up and acts seriously around Gin and both are irreplacable to one another but they’ll also never truly be together. Because at the core they’re the same, they both are always wearing masks to avoid pain and being so genuine around one another hurts them too much. 

Like with the Lust Arc, my favorite arcs in Bleach are the ones that end with nobody getting what they wanted. Gin wanted to be the one personally to stop Aizen no matter whose throat he had to slit to be near him, Rangiku wanted Gin to come home, in the end no one was happy and all they could do was say goodbye to one another. However, even in empty endings like that I feel like the few moments they were happy shined all the stronger. There was once a time when Gin was just an orphan taking care of his only friend in the world, and even if it all went wrong at the end, he was happy once, and those memories matter. 

[subvertingyourexpectations]

Top Ten Films of 2019

2019 was… I’m gonna be honest, not a very great year for cinema. Aside from a handful of standouts, I have seen very few things that completely blew me away. Especially given the past few years, we haven’t gotten a Roma, or a Phantom Thread, or a Denis Villeneuve movie. Anyway, this is my top ten favorite films of 2019. 

But first…

Films That Would Make It But Didn’t “Technically” Come Out in 2019

Long Day’s Journey into Night

I already talked at length about this film, but I love it to pieces. It has twisted the visual language of cinema into its own beautiful and bizarre version, crafting a puzzle box of a movie that I absolutely adored. But, it technically came out at the end of 2018, so it can’t be on the list. 

Tigers Are Not Afraid

If you like foreign films, this is a must-see. If you like tragic dramas anchored by some terrific child actor performances, this is a must-see. If you like horror movies, well, it’s not really a horror movie but people keep describing it as one, so you should probably see it. It’s a beautiful little imaginative tale about the effects of the drug war on orphaned kids, and if you can catch it on streaming I would definitely check it out. But, even though it came out in limited release in August, it came out in Mexico in 2017, so I can’t include it. 

One Cut of the Dead 

Maybe the most original film I’ve seen in years? The first half is a terrific little zombie flick all in one camera shot, and somehow the second half expands on this and is ten times better. Watching this in a packed house was one of my favorite moviegoing experiences of the year. It’s one of the most funny and, again, original movies I’ve seen in years.  

Shadow

UGH ALL THE GREAT FOREIGN FILMS DIDN’T COME OUT IN 2019. Anyway this movie is incredible and is maybe the best use of grayscale I’ve seen in any film. 

Movies That Might’ve Made the List But I Sadly Have Not Seen Them Yet

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Pain and Glory 

1917

Bad Education

Little Women

The Souvenir 

Okay, now onto the actual list…

10. Ad Astra

Brad Pitt and James Gray’s remake of Apocalypse Now in space is maybe the weirdest premise for a movie, and yet I really enjoyed Ad Astra. There’s clearly some touches of studio interference that make this movie worse (read: Brad Pitt’s narration), but the underlying themes of anxiety and depression are some of the best I’ve seen on screen. Couple that with Brad Pitt’s best performance of the year (yes), the visual splendor on display, and this movie is an easy inclusion in my top ten of the year. 

9. Uncut Gems

I need to go lie down. After really enjoying the Safdie Brothers’ previous films (Good Time and Heaven Knows What), I was really excited for this movie, and I was not let down. The frenetic, dare-I-say crackhead energy that the Safdies are able to convey in their films is immensely satisfying to watch, and the way Adam Sandler channels it is one of my favorite performances of the year. The last twenty minutes of this movie is just pure panic attack. 

8. The Irishman

Somehow Scorsese’s 209-minute long epic is one of the most watchable films of the year. This is just a terrific example of everyone firing on all cylinders; the performances are great, the script is great, the editing is unbelievable (this movie feels like it is two hours long), and the directing and thematic development towards the third act is some of Scorsese’s best.  

7. The Farewell

A calling card for director Lulu Wang as much as it is for Awkwafina in dramatic roles, The Farewell is an absolute delight. The family dynamics throughout all feel refreshingly authentic, and the film masterfully weaves between its comedic moments and tragic undertones. If it wasn’t for some choices made at the ending, this would probably rank higher on my list. 

6. El Camino

How bad was 2019 for film? A Breaking Bad movie is my sixth favorite film of the year. It doesn’t matter if we “needed” this movie or not, El Camino is just so incredibly well-made and enjoyable. It’s always a pleasure seeing something new in the Breaking Bad universe, but more than that I think this film is a genuinely beautiful swan song for one of the greatest characters in television.

5. Waves

This movie is meandering, aimless, pretentious, and completely style over substance. And yet, the last half hour of this movie hit me harder than almost anything this year. Regardless of how you feel about the characters, I feel like Waves has an overwhelmingly positive message in the end, which is to grow away from your hatred and learn to forgive and love. I’m sure many people will find the way this movie gets to that message to be kind of pointless and wandering, but to me it just turned a pretty good film into one of my favorites of the year. 

4. The Mustang

My local 3-screen art house closed in April of this year. I went there as often as I could, because they were the only theater in town that would play a lot of independent and foreign films. It was the first place I saw Roma, and the first (and, let’s face it, last) time I saw Stalker on the big screen. The last night they were open, I went and saw The Mustang, not based on anything to do with the movie, just because I wanted to be there one last time. It was completely sold out, far busier than I’d ever seen them. In the past I’d always had free roam of where to sit, but that last night I was in the third row from the front.  

If Ad Astra is about depression, then The Mustang is about anger, and learning to overcome your anger and grow as a person. It’s about a prison in Nevada that has a rehabilitation program where violent convicts train wild Mustangs, which are later sold to local ranches and farms. Roman (a terrific performance from Matthias Schoenaerts) is one such convict, and his personal struggle to overcome his anger is beautifully realized against the backdrop of having to fight a wild animal. (Seriously, he goes in swinging and it does not end well for him.) It’s a great story, and it’s a must-watch if you haven’t seen it. The emotional ending coupled with the fact that my favorite theater was closing left me a complete wreck when the credits rolled. (I’m starting to realize my top five films all just boil down to “the ending wrecked me”.) 

3. The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part

This is like The Mustang but for kids.

Okay okay, hear me out, I only saw this movie once when it first came out 11 months ago, and I’m not ever watching it again because I thought it was perfection. I feel like on a repeat visit the songs will become grating, the plot will feel ridiculous, and the themes of toxic masculinity that I appreciated so dearly will seem like faint whispers instead of clear subtext. And yet in the theater, I absolutely adored the songs and the plot and the clear subtext about being a better brother/man. The real-world parallels that were a surprise twist at the end of the first film are used beautifully in The Second Part, because the plot is simply just one big metaphor for a little sister who wants to play with her older brother. It’s touching, it’s funny, and it gets stuck inside your heart. It’s such a shame that the LEGO film franchise is all but dead, because if we had kept getting films like this, children’s movies would definitely be better for it. 

2. Parasite

Everything fantastic about this film has already been said about it by people far smarter than me, so I’ll just say this: it is every bit as amazing as people hyped it up to be. This movie is a biting satire, a laugh-out-loud comedy, and an edge of your seat thriller. It has left an imprint on my brain since I first saw it back in October, to the point where as much as I have tried to analyze and dissect, this film, I don’t know if there’s a single flaw with it, there’s genuinely nothing I would change about this movie. If you see one movie this year, it should be Parasite. 

1. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

In July of 2019, I had to make probably the biggest decision of my (brief) career thus far. I was going to leave my management position at a 24-screen theater I’d loved dearly to go work in an office. I loved everything about the movie theater, I’d worked there for almost four years, but at a certain point it just had diminishing returns. Newer upper management and constant changes coming down from the big-whigs had turned my favorite building into a place I started to resent, a place I didn’t recognize. I tried to fight the change, and re-institute everything I loved about this building that I practically grew up in, but you can’t fight change, and you shouldn’t romanticize the past.  

I’ve never seen these themes more realized in film than in The Last Black Man in San Francisco. It tells the story of Jimmie Fails, a native San Franciscan who has to watch the city he’s loved his whole life descend into a rapidly gentrified hellscape that leaves many homeless and helpless. He often visits his childhood home, a beautiful three-story house with a “witch hat” on top, now owned by an older white couple. This doesn’t stop him from romanticizing the house, romanticizing the past, as he constantly visits and attempts to fix up the house, oftentimes clashing with the current inhabitants. 

This disdain from the couple is an all-too-real parallel message that he’s getting from the city itself: You’re not welcome here anymore. Much as Jimmie has tied his identity to this home, and this city, he is hardly welcome in either. But for one brief instant, he gets to live his dream. The house gets stuck in a familial dispute, causing the older couple to move out. Leaving behind a big empty house that no one is occupying, Jimmie and his best friend Montgomery decide to just move right in, and have their way. They bring in all the old furniture from Jimmie’s childhood, they paint the walls, repair the original woodworking, all in service of Jimmie’s dream to simply exist in this space, and preserve something sacred.

Eventually though, reality comes crashing down, and try as he might, Jimmie can’t stay in the house, and he has to learn a hard truth: you cannot tie yourself emotionally to a physical space. Whether it’s a house, a city, a job, you simply cannot love something that doesn’t love you back. You will get hurt every time. 

But it’s so easy to love. It’s so easy to play the piano in the entranceway of your childhood home. It’s so easy to relax in the sauna upstairs, or smoke on the balcony, or just lay on the floor and admire the witch hat. The Last Black Man in San Francisco makes you fall in love with this house, and with Jimmie and Montgomery, and as much as we see ourselves in them, we too have to learn the same lessons. As much as we want to inhabit a space, and get the fullest potential out of it, you cannot ever stop change, and you cannot stand in the way of it without going insane. 

And maybe it was just because I was going through this personal development the first time I saw this movie, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. It stuck in my brain so much that by the time I saw it a second time, I was a complete mess; I cried four times. I cried for Jimmie, I cried for the house, and I cried for myself. I cried for the things we all lost, the things that would never be the same, and because we would have to learn to accept that. This is what’s so beautiful about The Last Black Man in San Francisco, and on top of the phenomenal acting, emotional script, and gorgeous visuals, it’s what made it my favorite film of the year.  

[mswyrr]

lucifer s5: best guesses about tone/theme

I think it’s going to be a pretty positive feeling season. I have no clue about specific plot stuff, but just the overall tone and thematic message. I’m coming at this from several assumptions (any/all of which might be wrong!), which are:

It’s a myth/fairy tale that’s supposed to convey psychological truths about the life cycle

Specifically, like a lot of fairy tales/myths, it’s a story about the maturation process, emotionally, from child to adult

The angels are eternally in the “child” role in their family because they do not question their Father, just obey and admire him. They do not form families of their own, or articulate what they want the world to be

Lucifer was the first angel to become a “teenager” and start the process of separating your identity from your parents by questioning/rebelling against them... and he was smacked down so hard for that (told that he was evil) that he’s been stuck in that stage until he came to Earth this time and started getting therapy/forming real emotional bonds outside his original family

Their vision of adulthood is one that balances Duty and Desire/the inner Adult and Child

This is represented by Chloe (Duty) and Lucifer (Desire). They’re a woman who never got to be a child and a man who was told perpetual obedient “childhood” was the only way to be good and dutiful. Both characters have within themselves the other’s dominant quality: Chloe desperately wants to express desire/joy and embrace her inner child for the first time and Lucifer wants to find a way to embrace duty as an adult, as something he chooses and owns for himself, rather than blind obedience to Dad

When they start out they have negative/unbalanced versions of Duty and Desire - Chloe just buries herself in what she owes to others and she’s suffering. She’s isolated, she’s hurting. Apart from Trixie, none of her connections really nourish her soul. Lucifer embraces desire so much that none of his connections really nourish his soul either. He’s living entirely in the fun side of things, but that can be empty if there’s no genuine giving to and connecting with others beyond that. There has to be a balance and they seek that balance in each other.

IMO it’s not a coincidence that talking to Chloe and holding her while she cries and then turning down her offer of sex out of concern for her is an important turning point in her growing trust in S1 and his burgeoning growth/redemption arc. He doesn’t just want the fun things he can get from her: he wants to be there for her when she’s hurting too

IF (and it is a big if) I’m guessing right here, then S4 was about the Duty/Adulthood side of things.

Lucifer figures out how to embrace duty as an adult (rather than an eternally obedient child/angel). He ends up in the same place (literally) that he was, but this time from active choice and out of his love for the family he’s found separate from his parents, no longer caught in a desperate cycle of love/hate with his dad, no longer entirely defined by that relationship.

And it’s hard but it’s satisfying - in the same way Amenadiel becomes an adult, as a father, having to really look at the world and make choices about what he wants it to be. Two eternal children, trapped as the Good Son and the Rebellious Son, break that cycle and achieve the point of maturation, which is to make your own decisions about what *you* believe should be and then follow that up by putting your money where your mouth is and living out your values with the people you love.

Even when it’s hard, it’s *yours*. Your life, which you’ve chosen. Nobody else is telling you what to think or do.

The whole thematic feel of S4 is the hard work side of things in that sense. For the main romance, the hard work of repairing a long-term relationship is the focus of things for Chloe and Lucifer. How you have to decide whether you want to keep choosing this person or not, even when they show that they’re flawed and cause you pain.

But, like.... okay, so they fought their way to a positive articulation of duty as an adult who owns their own choices and consequences. But where’s a positive articulation of desire/letting your inner child have fun too?

That’s what I see as missing and they have one season left to address that, so.... I do think it’s going to be overall (in tone and mood) a season with some real joy in it. Not 24/7 but an overall sense of claiming the joy that’s the other side of all the hard work of owning your life and your choices as an adult.

The final piece of evidence for that, for me, is that if this is a coming-of-age story about the maturation process, then it ought to have a happy ending: people find their way, make their own lives and pay the price for that but also reap the rewards.

It’s not just my shippy heart that wants scenes of Chloe (after trying so hard previously and having it not work out!) getting to have *fun* with Lucifer in a real way. And him getting to experience fully the positive side of desire: which is how enriching it is when you share it with someone you *also* share your adult burdens of duty with. So there’s a positive cycle of sharing obligations and joy between you.

It’s also a story about community and they’ve built up a pretty great blended/found family - so I think there’s probably going to be something about how the strength of that family will come together to resolve the final situation. I don’t think the show intends for Dad to be a bad guy entirely. But I do think the extremely authoritarian/patriarchal original family is something both Lucifer and Amenadiel have grown beyond. And that we’ll see more of that.

Hopefully there will be enough time to develop Maze’s relationship with her mother and/or continue her journey toward finding a partner, since Maze is the third part of this trio of supernatural beings who were caught in perpetual childhood/adolescence and have grown into adults.

I also think Ildy and Joe will use the season as a love letter to the story and fans and everyone, which will involve a more positive tone.

But I don’t think that positive tone will be “false” - there’s a ton of people on Reddit who think the tragic ending of S4 was perfect because tragedy is better than comedy. And, it’s like, er, no?

The story of growing up is a very real thing billions of people engage with. People really do go from obedient child, to questioning teen, to adults who take on responsibilities of care/commitment to others. Sharing burdens and joy. Choosing each other, even when it’s hard. Like, the world is a mess, but there’s a lot of good, kind people trying their best too. And if people didn’t do that creative and hard and beautiful work, BILLIONS OF US, every day, the world wouldn’t have that goodness.

It’s totally cool to tell a myth about that process, its pain and beauty. It’s part of the truth of life and as valid as the tragic parts of life are valid. And I do think that’s what they’re aiming for!

/shrug/ I could be off in my guessing. If they don’t go the general direction I’m expecting I won’t be fussed about it or anything.

But I really think there’s some loveliness ahead, both for deep story reasons, in terms of what they’re trying to say, and just because they’ve had such a wild and beautiful run and they’re going to want to bask in that in their final season.

[afriendlyirin]

Steven Universe Rewrite

So I’ve now finished my rewrite of the final arc (go read it and tell me all your thoughts), and while I’m satisfied with it in many respects, I still feel like it doesn’t properly resolve or engage with everything I’d like to, nor is it fully in keeping with the parts of Steven Universe I liked, despite that being my goal. There’s simply too much to get into and too little space to for it. To fully “fix” the narrative in my mind, I’d probably have to diverge much farther back.

I’m not interested in actually writing such a story, but I think it would be a good exercise to sketch an outline of what such a thing might look like.

I think the biggest problem is that Steven Universe has too many antagonists. The three initial Homeworld gems work well on their own – we spend a lot of time between each one, giving us time to process what’s happened before they return or a new antagonist gains focus. But with the diamonds, we don’t really get that breathing room. We barely know anything of Yellow before Blue shows up, we’re only just starting to really process them before White appears, and then the show ends. And throughout all of this, we have even more unresolved antagonists dangling – Jasper, the rubies, Topaz and Aquamarine, Homeworld’s system itself. To do justice to all of these characters at the previous pace of the show would probably have taken twice as many seasons.

My second problem, which is more personal preference, is that I don’t like how the plot ended up going epic, with Steven having to take on uberpowerful opponents with an entire empire of resources. I’d say this is also thematically confused – the show starts off making it seem like everyone is safe on Earth and the war is in the distant past, but it’s then revealed the war is very much still on and the plot becomes about Steven continuing the rebellion Rose left half-finished. My favorite parts of the show were seasons 1-3, which were much the antithesis of that – the conflicts were much more subdued, against lone actors or just interpersonal problems.

So, let us combine these things to give us a different starting state.

There was only one diamond, and she was destroyed during Rose’s rebellion. Either she blew herself up with a corruption bomb, or the shattering of a diamond is what makes a corruption blast. Down-scale the empire’s resources such that they were putting most of their manpower into fighting the rebellion, meaning that their population is utterly crippled by the fallout of the blast in addition to their loss of leadership. The gem empire still exists but as a shadow of its former self; it no longer has the manpower to invade new planets. (We can also tone down the oppression; no killing people just for being born. Whether or not that is still the case for Era 1, it’s just not possible to keep doing that with your population so crippled. Homeworld can still be oppressively conformist, but not to the point of EUGENICS EVERYWHERE.)

Right off the bat, this dodges a lot of awkward questions that are present in canon. Why did Rose stop fighting just because she saved one of many colonies, and why did she make Steven when Homeworld was still a threat that could endanger him – why, in sum, does she act like the war is over? Well, because it is, and she won.

This shifts the tone and focus of the story away from an epic rebellion plot and into one of postwar reconstruction. After the dust has settled, what happens? How do you pick up the pieces and move forward? Steven will only ever encounter pale shadows of Homeworld’s former power. Things like the Cluster become akin to forgotten landmines, echoes of a violent past that can still hurt people long after the conflict is over. He can still fight Homeworld gems, but they are lone agents acting on personal grudges; Jasper is not acting under orders, she just really wants to take a swing at Rose Quartz. (This setup even works a lot better with the threat level we actually see from canon, which is that Homeworld keeps sending weak scouts and small groups instead of bringing their full military might to bear against the Crystal Gems.)

This frees up a lot of space to just get into the characters talking about their feelings, which was always the real core of Steven Universe. In canon, Amethyst is the only Crystal Gem who really gets a full arc with a proper resolution (the battle with Jasper at the conclusion of season 3); Garnet’s gets flattened to just be about her relationship so it can be rushed through in Heart of the Crystal Gems, and Pearl’s arc gets completely substituted for something else that officially has no problem for her to resolve at all. The time spent on the diamonds and battle logistics could instead be spent on developing those arcs. With the antagonist compression, we could develop the Homeworld gems further as well, perhaps making them proper foils to Crystal Gems – something I get the impression canon was trying to go for but never seemed to really commit to.

Speaking of which, this would make the Homeworld gems much more tragic and sympathetic. Lapis’ despair over how different the new Homeworld is would no longer be about the simple passage of time, but because it is genuinely a shambling corpse of what it once was. And because Era 2 is so different than Era 1, Peridot, an Era 2 gem, would lack much of the shared culture and knowledge other gems have, justifying her naivete and social awkwardness. Finally, the rebellion destroying the entire army makes Jasper even more isolated – she is one of the very few survivors of the war, further justifying her fury at Rose and her inability to open up to her peers – she has none.

This would also make everything about Bismuth so, so much more reasonable. Instead of reacting to the fact that Rose lost the war that is very much still on, she’s advocating for igniting a brand new one before the ashes have even cooled on the first. (For extra horror, she might not even be dissuaded by the news Rose killed the diamond after all – they may have understood Homeworld’s soldiers were only following orders and assumed they would defect if they removed the command structure… but now you’re telling her they assassinated the head honcho and they’re still loyal to Homeworld? Clearly the only solution is to KILL ‘EM ALL.) It is far more understandable for Steven to keep her bubbled in that situation, and for the Crystal Gems to agree to it.

Ultimately, I think this plotline could remain very similar for seasons 1-3; perhaps move up the “Rose shattered Diamond” reveal to around season 2, and follow it with the Cluster plot to show why that really was necessary while emphasizing that yeah, war is horrible we really shouldn’t be starting another one, Bismuth!

The major difference would be swapping out Yellow Diamond for a lower administrative gem. I thought Yellow Diamond alone worked as a fine antagonist, really, so not much needs to change – just transplant her personality into another gem. This character could function as a foil to Garnet, someone thrust into overwhelming responsibility because there’s no one else qualified left alive. We could even double down on this and make her a permafusion; that maps really well onto modern conservatism, where people who would actually be hurt by the old hegemonies still romanticize them anyway. Season 4’s arc could revolve around her; having dealt with Lapis, Peridot, and Jasper, Steven must go to Homeworld and address the problem at its source. (The events of “Raising the Barn” could happen here, giving Lapis an extra season to work through her issues.) This could actually be resolved very similarly to the White Diamond resolution in canon, but it would fit with the earlier themes much better – this gem really would have reasons to feel insecure about her failure to live up to a perfect ideal. And for bonus points, that makes her a foil to Steven, too.

It would also make it a lot more believable that these gems would need Steven to teach them what is, if we’re being honest, pretty basic philosophy. If they are technically free of the old system but still stubbornly cling to its trappings, it makes sense that they’d need an outsider to tell them to think for themselves and that this would genuinely be a radical new perspective for them. Hauntings, again – just as in real life, the system still influences peoples’ thinking long after it was officially dismantled.

We could replace the Zoo arc with something that hits the same beats. The rubies return (or someone new gets sent) and capture Greg for some reason. Instead of seeing the Zoo we get to see Homeworld society directly during the trip. The events of That Will Be All still occur, as Not Yellow Diamond, cracking under the strain, unfuses and argues with herself behind closed doors.

Instead of the gems only being caught as a joke (and having that also be resolved as a joke), it’s a choice Steven makes. We invoke the hero’s last temptation: He has everything he’s ever wanted, his family in one piece and Homeworld beaten so thoroughly they’ll never threaten them again… but to take that offer means looking away, and abandoning everyone who is still suffering on Homeworld. He looks upon the gates of Heaven, but willingly chooses to walk back into Hell.

(Connie should probably be present to witness this so we can set up the falling-out arc, which is important for deconstructing Steven’s martyr complex.)

This leads to an analogous arc to Wanted and Diamond Days where Steven navigates Homeworld until he finally reaches Not Yellow Diamond. For added tension, the gems are separated somehow and Steven spends a significant time on his own befriending Homeworld gems. Garnet converges with him for the finale so we can make it about her (maybe extend her themes to the previous arc, focus on her stress and failures as leader during the heist).

Not Yellow Diamond is a noncombatant, but hides behind elite guards and defenses that Garnet and Steven can’t handle on their own, necessitating a fusion. The theme here could be that Garnet is paralyzed by her responsibilities, unable to both mount an offense while also keep Steven protected; Steven cuts through this by taking on his own responsibility, showing Garnet that she doesn’t have to do everything herself.

Not Yellow Diamond’s redemption happens similarly to White Diamond’s, but because she’s a noncombatant it is actually reasonable for Steven to spend so long on a nonviolent solution. Possibly Garnet even tries to shatter her (this could be what makes them unfuse), but Steven stops her. Not Yellow Diamond more explicitly agrees to change things and protect Earth.

So by this point, Steven will have dealt with all extant threats… but there are still issues left unresolved. The corrupted gems still aren’t healed, Bismuth’s still bubbled, Lapis is still missing, and Pearl hasn’t had a personal arc to resolve her issues. This would then turn season 5 into something of a denouement season, tying up all the remaining loose ends. This season’s theme could be one of self-actualization, revolving around Lapis and Pearl working through their difficult mental health problems and Steven, though seeing his own issues reflected in them, overcoming his own imposter syndrome in the process.

Season 5 starts after a timeskip. Steven is trying to heal the corrupted gems but is making no progress. Make this into a metaplot, with snippets in other episodes throughout the season showing he’s continuing to try and making more progress as his personal arc progresses.

Bismuth is already unbubbled to leapfrog over that awkward conversation, but still suffers from PTSD. She gets an episode (or two) about her issues, primarily grief. She bemoans the loss of her friends, and Steven tries to assure her that he’ll heal the corrupted gems any day now. She shows him the shards and says bitterly, “Can you heal these?” Spirals into a breakdown naming and remembering all the shattered gems. Steven tries to lay down some generic platitudes like he always does, but this time it doesn’t work; Bismuth calls him out on his ignorance and innocence, that he’s never lost anyone so he has no idea how she feels. This forces him to rethink things and actually listen to Bismuth, foreshadowing that that will be the theme of this season. (For bonus points, could also have her echo Pearl’s “She’s gone, but I’m still here,” re: the shattered gems.)

This could probably happen simultaneously with the falling-out arc (though that interacts awkwardly with the timeskip since Connie would probably be upset immediately after), could draw a connection by having Steven realize or Connie point out his god complex, he wants to help people for his sake not for theirs.

After that heavy opening we can have funtimes with human friends; Sadie Killer arc happens here plus any outstanding human subplots resolve. Should probably also have an episode about Pearl that touches on her issues since that’ll be the topic of the final stretch.

Then Lapis comes back. Have a conversation about PTSD and how she needed to do it on her own time etc., Steven can show his growth by accepting this and not pushing.

If the Lion chest is important, Lapis found the key while soul-searching (it was hidden somewhere on Earth the CGs didn’t look).

Next plot episode is Steven getting frustrated over his inability to heal the corrupted gems (can have a comedy bit where he tries increasingly absurd and convoluted methods), wonders what he’s doing wrong. Something happens that leads to him talking to Pearl about Rose. Possibly he thinks whatever’s in the chest is the cure, but that seems pretty stupid even for him. Events lead to Pearl revealing that she shattered Diamond and Steven has a fresh meltdown, accuses all the other gems of secretly being shatterers and not telling him (Garnet could react really awkwardly, implying she actually has killed people), decides that’s the problem and runs off.

(If there is a similar memory scene with Pearl, it’s via hologram; Diamond literally does not get a voice.)

Either Pearl tracks him down, or someone else brings him back only for him to discover that Pearl has run off because she agrees that she is horrible and shouldn’t be around Steven. Either way leads to a deep conversation about their issues. The climax here would result in Steven fusing with Pearl as he has with the others, but perhaps this time the context is peaceful rather than it being a tactic used in desperation, affirming the idea that fusions are a way of life and not just a tool.

As a result of his growth from this, Steven finally figures out the method to heal the corrupted gems, whatever that may be. We have a great happy ending montage where it looks like everything’s resolved – Steven has forged peace with Homeworld, and all the corrupted gems are healed, including Jasper…

…who immediately attacks him. We get one final episode, or perhaps even a full arc, revolving around a final fight with Jasper. Because Steven never actually resolved her issues before she got bubbled! She is still mad, still violent, and still hurting. This is the most narratively satisfying climax, because Jasper is all the story’s themes embodied: the sins of the past come back to haunt us, the scars left by war, and the pain of grief and acceptance. She always made the most sense as a “final villain” to me. Steven’s usual approach of steamrollering people with generic feel-good platitudes would not work here; he must actually use what he’s learned and engage with Jasper on her own terms.

(If this were an actual show THIS is where I would pull the surprise season extension, lead everyone to think the Pearl reconciliation is the grand finale and then surprise them with Jasper.)

The Jasper episode, or the finale if it’s a whole arc, would be titled “Under the Stars So Bright” as a reference to Trigun and also the imagery of being under the star of Diamond.

I feel the only way to make this work would be to intercut the Jasper ep with flashbacks to her time under Diamond, much like Trigun’s final episode. Only issue is that the sudden change in POV would be really weird; Trigun worked because the hero was there for those events and we only see his perspective, but Steven has no window into Jasper’s past.

Jasper poofs all the CGs and digs a hole to the core with the intent of popping the Cluster. Steven proceeds to get the crap beaten out of him protecting and bubbling the CGs like Vash vs. Midvalley in Trigun. Make this incredibly gruesome, even with the bubble shields she cracks his gem and draws blood.

Steven tries to reason with her like he did before, and like before it just makes her push back harder. Eventually she tries to pull a suicide by cop and bait Steven into shattering her. He gruesomely rams his fingers through her face to grab her gem and draws his fist back to kill her, and then we get a flashback montage of all his family memories – but in an inversion of Vash vs. Legato, this results in him not killing her. (For bonus creepy, he could also be stopped by Jasper flashing a grin or letting slip that she wants to die.)

Maybe as a compromise, he does poof her – this would be the only time in the series he intentionally does so.

(In the fantasy world where I have an animation studio at my beck and call, this would be filled with visual references to Trigun, both the Legato and Knives confrontations.)

Ending is Jasper going to prison to face trial for trying to blow up Earth. Lapis gets to say her piece, then Steven gives a more mature redemption speech than usual, about how he can’t make her change and she has to want to become a better person but he still believes in her anyway. This can perhaps be the nuanced message that the movie… appeared to be trying to go for with Spinel, that people can have understandable reasons for lashing out and doing bad things, but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to exhaust yourself for them; you don’t have to be a martyr.

In the final montage, Jasper reunites with other jaspers who were corrupted in the war (maybe mirrored with a montage of Bismuth hugging formerly-corrupted Crystal Gems). Final message is what the canon ending claims to be: Steven has gained a more mature and complex outlook on “good” and “evil” but he still chooses to be optimistic and believe in the goodness of people. GOOD END.

That’s my take. Ultimately, it seems Steven Universe bit off more than it could chew, or perhaps had too many cooks. The most important takeaway from this, in my view, is to keep things to a manageable level in your story. Don’t introduce elements you know you won’t have time to adequately address; a few points done well will often land better than a lot of stuff done slapdashedly.

[the-ice-sculpture]

Thoughts on Sanrion

Sanrion isn’t as inevitable a thing as Braime or Gendra is/has been but there’s still potential evidence that it’s been the works for a long time coming. None of what I’m saying is new, I’m just using this as an excuse to vent my thoughts.

From the beginning both the show and books made a point of emphasising how Ned and Catelyn built their love stone by stone, despite not being each other’s first choice (or even choice at all). Thematically, it’d make sense if this comes full circle by being repeated for the ending. Sansa is the Stark who most resembles her mother, who most mirrors her mother - only Sansa has the potential to be even more fierce and (is already more) politically savvy. If Sansa was to end up marrying anyone else, it’d make the most structural sense as a story if her marriage mirrored that of her mother and father’s - if she married somebody she did not initially like and if together they both decided to build their marriage. 

Since a large portion of Sansa’s character arc revolves around her loss of naivety and overcoming romanticised notions of handsome valiant knights and princes, if she was to end up with someone then it’d be the most satisfying if she ends up choosing someone who is in no way conventionally attractive and doesn’t hold up to the idealised dreams of future matches she had as a young girl. Tyrion is the epitome of someone who is in no sense conventionally attractive and he’s one of the few characters outside her family who she has a long history with who is also high born. Tyrion is the only character in King’s Landing (debatably except from The Hound and Margery Tyrell) who shows her any kindness without having any ulterior motive and he’s also from a house that’s despised by her family. So, yeah, Tyrion fits the bill. 

Sansa’s so used to people valuing her for what her name brings them because she is the key to the North. For years no one outside her family valued her for her and instead she’s faced an onslaught of suitors and people trying to make matches for her based on what her name and title would bring them. This is common amongst the highborn girls in Westeros but happens far more than would be considered normal to Sansa. In a political sense, she’s been traded and promised like a piece of meat. One of the most powerful things she can do now is to make her own decisions and choose what - or who - she wants for herself. 

Tyrion has the opposite problem to Sansa. Instead of being fought over like a piece of meat, all his potential suitors are either repulsed or offended by the offer of a match with him. A match with him would be a punishment, as far as they’re concerned. For most of Tyrion’s story, all the people Tyrion socialises with are paid to be in his company. No one chooses Tyrion. In the show, Tyrion doesn’t know Tysha wasn’t paid by Jaime and has no idea she voluntarily chose him as a romantic partner. Whenever Tyrion accomplishes something great someone else gets all the credit and praise. Whenever something goes badly, whether or not Tyrion had anything to do with it, he gets blame or accusations. Tyrion is constantly undervalued despite his incredible assets and competence. This only changed when Daenerys named him her hand. But in terms of his value as a marital partner, from Tyrion’s own perspective, no one has chosen him. 

You see where I’m going with this? Sansa has experienced too many people fighting over her for her name. Sansa now has the freedom and power to make her own choices. Tyrion is used to being undervalued and is the person no one voluntarily chooses... If only there was a solution that would satisfy both these criteria.

Personality wise, they’re also a very good match even though the age difference isn’t ideal. Tyrion is one of the few people who can make Sansa genuinely laugh and smile. Tyrion treats her gently and wishes to protect her and curses himself for not being strong enough to always be able to. His intentions and the way he treats her (definitely more so in the show rather than the books) actually read as genuinely chivalrous (see all the hand to hand contact they have). In an interesting twist, Tyrion in some ways reflects Sansa’s old romantic ideas, only they come from someone she never expected such chivalry to come from (or even someone she would’ve expected to want such chivalry to come from). But Sansa could have both. Sansa could both have someone who treats her as she wants to be treated as well as someone who represents how much she has grown as a person. Because, honestly, at this stage the last things Sansa cares about is how handsome someone is or how valiant they are. Sansa wants those she cares about to stay loyal and stay alive. 

Politically, Sansa and Tyrion are also a good match. A Lannister and Stark choosing to be together would be a poetic end, given all the blood between their houses. And as many people have pointed out, the War of the Roses (which GoT is loosely inspired by) ended with the two opposing houses marrying. Sansa’s one of the very few characters on the show who can keep up with him and he saw her potential from the beginning. In the crypts, they choose to hold hands, to face the threat together, and in the heat of all that they even had a tender moment with Tyrion kissing her hand. After all the intense eye-contact of that scene, how they brought up their marriage even before that scene happened, and after everything that’s been left unsaid between them, it’d be a bit strange if this development in their relationship doesn’t lead to anything more. Due to the sheer terror of the situation, I really don’t think Sansa was manipulating him here. We only see Sansa manipulate people she sees as potential threats and people who’ve wronged her in the past and Tyrion is neither of these things. 

There’s also the bonus of the potential beautiful irony of Sansa and Tyrion being happily married enraging Cersei and Tywin Lannister from beyond the grave. 

So in terms of coherent storytelling, having Sansa and Tyrion renew their wedding vows could work very well, so long as they both choose it and aren’t forced into it. There’s even a possibility of it being the ‘sweet’ part of the ‘bittersweet’ ending we’ve been hearing so much about. The GoT universe is so dark that their relationship could provide a delicate contrast, particularly given the history of these two characters and everything they’ve been through. 

The time they’ve spent apart has actually been very healthy for the possibility of them deciding to be together. It’s given Sansa a chance to mature on her own, to grow and become a woman and learn lessons by herself. They’ve both had long journeys where they’ve formed their own new alliances and have learned so much along the way. The absence of each other means they’re not used to being forced together. During this time, in the show Tyrion abstained from sex which surprised him more than anyone else. The show made Sansa experience the worst kind of match she could possibly have had with Ramsey, who was a huge contrast to Tyrion’s promise that he’ll never share her bed unless she wants him to (and I hope there’ll be a throwback to that line with these two). Given both their trauma, it’s a very delicate area to navigate around but these two have the potential to work together to achieve it if it’s what they desire.

But here’s the part that makes me not so optimistic: all the ominous foreshadowing revolving around Tyrion. Because Sansa’s chances of survival seem far greater than Tyrion’s at the moment. Sansa’s learned so much and now is one of the cleverest characters on the show but Tyrion... I just don’t know if he’ll make it out alive. I think if he makes it out alive then they have a genuine chance together. But all the not so subtle hints of Daenerys becoming increasingly displeased with him as well as the conversations about betrayal he’s had with Daenerys and Varys suggest Tyrion’s going to have a hard time getting away unscathed. (Given how I’m sure Sansa’s role is going to become more important in the world of politics, I’m desperately hoping she could help him out of a tough spot somehow in a plot twist.)

My ideal ending for Tyrion and Sansa would be for Sansa to be Queen of the North and for Tyrion to be her hand. I don’t see Sansa wanting to leave Winterfell or her family ever again. I don’t see her changing her name from Stark to anything else either, even if she does remarry. Tyrion loves playing the game and almost being killed over it hasn’t put him off in the past. He has no objections to supporting a queen, despite Westerosi misogyny. Sansa has learned to play the game and play it well. Together, they’re the ultimate political power couple. Tyrion has more years of experience but Sansa knows the North and she also covers Tyrion’s blind spots (like about there being no chance of Cersei sending her army north). King’s Landing also holds certain complications for Tyrion, given his history there and the treatment from his family, Shae, and the city’s citizens. 

And I haven’t even touched upon how these two already started to build up a foundation of trust while they were in King’s Landing... Ugh. There’s so much to say with these two. I’m sure I’ll start thinking of more stuff I should’ve included here after I’ve posted this. I’ve no idea how it’s gonna go down, either tragically or sweetly or neither of the two. 

Anyway... Fingers crossed.

[bthump]

I'm pretty sure you've already talked about this but, I want to know your opinion on guts letting go of his obsession with griffith? In one of berserks chapters when they ask his opinion about hawk of light he answers with a smile so people think that he's gotten over it

Extremely short answer: if that’s chapter 345 you’re referring to Guts isn’t smiling in a single one of his panels after he gets asked about Griffith, in fact he has a pretty pronounced :/ face throughout, so that’s just inaccurate. If it’s a different scene, then I have no memory of Guts being asked about the ~Hawk of Light~ any other time so idk lol.

Now, here’s the long answer. I wrote it out last night and decided it was too late to post. Now that the new chapter raws have come out, well, idk if anything here is straight up contradicted now (i’m being pretty vague anyway), but bear in mind that I wrote this before seeing them.

This is a tricky topic for me ngl, like this is the exact question that fucks me up when it comes to my hopes and fears for Berserk.

Is Guts going to get over his obsession with Griffith and genuinely move on?

But as of right now my answer is an emphatic no, Guts is not over his obsession yet. After his last climactic test of resolve when he got in a boat on the docks we saw Guts’ residual feelings loud and clear. Guts’ eyes meeting Griffith’s across a vast distance, the Beast of Darkness taunting him in his subconscious and calling Griffith “the true light that burns us,” and Guts thinking to himself on the boat, “when this journey’s over, I’ll…” before flashing to an image of Griffith.

It would just be straight up poor storytelling if somewhere between Guts ruminating on the boat after the sea god fight and landing at Elfhelm he’d conquered his obsession off-screen and now he’s totally “over it.”

What I think is possible, if shitty, is Guts conquering his obsession at some point in the future in a climactic and conclusive way - after backsliding first. Like let’s be real here, all this constant foreshadowing about the armour and the Beast of Darkness and Guts ignoring various warning signs etc isn’t going nowhere. Guts is going to lose himself to the armour and fight Griffith. That’s pretty much a foregone conclusion.

After that happens I will grant that there is a chance we’re headed for something along the lines of the power of rpg group friendship and/or het love saving the day and Guts’ soul, bringing him back from the armour, and then Guts conquers his obsession properly and… Griffith is defeated in some way, quite possibly because after everything he’s failed to overcome his own feelings. Might be an end of his own making, if that’s the case. Could be by Casca’s hand. Guts could still easily die in this scenario, but yk, it’d be bittersweet bc he dies with his humanity intact or whatever.

Conversely, what I want to happen, what I think would be good, emotionally impactful and thematically resonant writing, is Guts being forced to confront and untangle his feelings for Griffith instead of just trying to overcome them. I want Guts’ apparent inner conflict of Griffith/revenge/Beast of Darkness vs Casca/rpg group/humanity to ultimately turn out to be overly simplistic bullshit. I want Guts’ attempt to get over Griffith to have been misguided from the start, another one of his many ultimately futile and misguided attempts to repress painful and complex feelings through the pursuit of a goal.

I think the most satisfying ending is one where Guts finally confronts his mixed feelings for Griffith and untangles them, and finds the positive feelings still have value. I want the remains of their intense world-altering relationship to go hand in hand with the tattered remnants of their respective humanities. I want Guts to emotionally connect with Griffith and his conveniently unfrozen heart during their final confrontation so they can finally understand each other and their feelings and give readers a real cathartic conclusion to their relationship while probably providing an intimate emotional parallel to whatever world changing metaphysical bullshit is also going on.

Like not only do I not want Guts to move on, I want Guts’ failure to move on to mirror Griffith’s failure to move on and be an essential piece of a non-tragic ending. I want Guts’ lingering positive feelings for Griffith to be what save him from the armour, or from losing his soul to the temptation of revenge, or what the fuck ever.

I want their Golden Age relationship to still have a positive impact on the story, basically.

Essentially my question when it comes to the future of Berserk isn’t Will Guts get over Griffith? but rather Should Guts get over Griffith? And I want the answer to be no.

Idk. I can honestly see good arguments either way lol. It’s frustrating, for every great argument I come up with that supports Guts examining his complicated contradictory feelings and untangling them rather than lumping them together and getting over them, I think of an argument that supports Guts getting over Griffith entirely as intended genuine personal growth. And vice versa, for that matter.

But no matter which option is more likely at this point, I absolutely 100% think that Guts confronting his feelings instead of getting over them is by far better writing. It’s less contradictory, it’s more interesting, it’s narratively symmetrical (in that Guts and Griffith and their mutual failed attempts to get over their residual feelings would mirror each other), their relationship’s got more emotional grounding and build up than Guts and a group of people who barely know him, or Guts and a woman who only even entered into a relationship because Miura wanted more Eclipse drama, it’s more thematically resonant*, and imo it’s absolutely necessary to any emotionally satisfying ending.

Also like, I want to emphasize that this doesn’t mean Guts needs to go “oh shit I’ve been wrong the whole time I should’ve been dealing with my Griffith related feelings instead of trying to fix Casca, wow I fucked up” lol. Literally all it would take is a) Elfhelm turns out to be a bust (which I think is very likely anyway), and b) the emotions between Griffith and Guts amount to something positive as they conflict. This can be anything from smthn life saving to a moment of understanding and personal fulfillment to something that affects the world in a more yk epic metaphysical way to saving souls, to one or both dying smiling.

I just need something, you know?

*I use this phrase a lot lol but what I mean specifically here is that Guts and Griffith’s relationship has been our main illustration of the impact of relationships in contrast to isolating dreams, and I think it would be more powerful to maintain their relationship as our illustration of that theme - true light, the impact of being known and valued, love and hate and need for connection, humanity vs monstrosity - than to swap it out with a different relationship in the last fifth of the story or whatever, and depict Guts and Griffith’s confrontation without that intense, complex emotion fueling it.