#it’s like a little crown to let people know they’re your faves

[pixlokita]

Does anyone else gotta resist the urge to give all your blorbos sharp teeth

[missaengg]

Between Two Villains

Day 26 of Kinktober: Visions of Temptation hosted by @xxsycamore found here Featuring: Ikemen Villains | Ellis Twilight x Jude Jazza x f!reader Tags: mdni, smut, pwp, threesome - f/m/m, oral sex, spitroasting, cum swallowing, p in v sex Prompts: Spitroasting | “Oh, you'll regret letting me know that you like this.” A/N: I’ve been wanting to write this ever since the Between Two Villains event. While I don’t think Jude would be willing to ever have a threesome, especially with Ellis, it doesn’t hurt to dream about being sandwiched between your two villain faves, right? 🙃 ao3 link here.

They’re so close… You can feel the sweltering heat of their bodies smothering you like the stifling humidity of a hot, muggy summer day.

The bed’s wide enough to fit three adult bodies comfortably, but Jude insists on sleeping in the center of the King size bed, there’s no way he’ll scoot over to give you more space, and Ellis is acting like your bodies are glued together.

You groan, feeling your body temperature rise from the heavy comforter and the two men pressing into your sides. While the mission has been completed successfully, the assassination on the Queen’s life thwarted and those involved taken into custody, it’s the middle of the night. All that’s left to do is sleep, but…

Do they have to insist on sleeping in your – the Queen’s – bed?!

The heat is suffocating, though some of it may be due to the proximity of the two men sharing your bed.

“So damn warm… Feels like you’re burnin’ up with a fever,” Jude grumbles from next to you.

You want to scream then move, but you refrain because knowing Jude, he’ll just shove you further into Ellis – who’s curled around you like a clingy cat nuzzling his sweet, innocent face into your shoulder – and take up more space like the twisted villain he is.

“She’s warm, and she feels good… Hey, why won’t you hug me back?” Ellis asks.

Even if you want to, you can’t move, sandwiched so tightly between the two of them you can’t even properly breathe. You keep your eyes trained on the ceiling because if you turn either way, you’ll be embarrassingly nose-to-nose with one of the two members of Crown.

Your cheeks flush from the relentless heat and the absolute ridiculousness of your current predicament.

“Heh… What’s with the red cheeks? What kinda indecent thoughts are ya thinkin’?” Jude jabs you with his elbow, and though you can’t see him, you just know he’s smirking that sadistic little smirk of his.

Trust Jude to find a way to make this even more awkward.

“Aren’t you the indecent one, climbing in someone else’s bed?” you shoot back.

“Not me. What kinda villain’d do such a thing, huh?”

Ugh.

“Oh, do you want to do something indecent? Sure, what would you like?” Ellis eagerly jumps into the conversation having completely missed Jude’s sarcasm.

“What?!” Your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. Out of all the Crown members who are likely to even make such a lewd suggestion – aka almost all of them – you never expect Ellis of all people to make it.

Ellis looks at you earnestly as he asks that outrageous question, but your look of disbelief and bewilderment is lost on him as he continues.

“Maybe you’d prefer doing it just with Jude? Or with both of us?”

You can hardly believe what you’re hearing, what he’s suggesting. It’s the first time you’re hearing him suggest something so immoral, other than insinuating he’ll kill you when you’re at your happiest, which honestly just seems like a side effect of his Curse.

“Oi, quit draggin’ me into this mess,” Jude says. “If ya wanna do it, go ahead. I’ll just watch. That’s what you’re into anyway, ain’t it?”

“Really? Hm, if you insist,” Ellis hums.

Your face is growing hotter and hotter as the conversation progresses. Not only do they barge into your bed after catching the assassin, now they’re talking about such illicit things like you’re not even present!

“Would you please get out of my bed and sleep in your own rooms?!” You want to hide under the covers from the awkward humiliation, but also to conceal the strange flutter of excitement stirring within you, especially from Jude.

“But I’m too worried to leave you alone,” Ellis sweetly protests, as Jude quips, “Bed here’s comfy so I’ll pass.”

Technically, Jude is right. The Queen’s bed is the most comfortable bed you’ve ever slept in. The mattress is plush, stuffed with the highest quality down, and the blankets are soft, made of the highest quality fabric, but…

“Ugh, honestly!”  You’re too tired to deal with this… blissful indecency and arrogant selfishness, and you decide to give up on trying to get them to return to their rooms. “Fine, just stay here then. Good night!”

You pull the covers up all the way over your head blocking them from view. It’s clear they won’t leave, and you have no choice, but to try and get some sleep – if you can get any sleep, the tingling sensation taking residence in between your thighs likely to keep you up for some time.

“Oi, why’re ya tryin’ to sleep like a damned corpse?” 

“She’s hiding, now I’m sad…”

Jude scathingly grumbles, and Ellis whines. Ellis shifts away, finally giving you some space, and you sigh in relief, but your relief is short-lived when Ellis joins you under the covers.

“Hey, this mission was hard for you, right? I can make you feel good, if that’ll make you happy.”

Ellis’s suggestion is tempting. So very tempting. Your thighs rub together unintentionally, trying to relieve the tension that’s building from what his soft, melodic voice is whispering in your ear.

You realize the movement isn’t lost on Jude when he clicks his tongue and mutters, “Knew it. Nasty woman,” under his breath with a hint of what sounds like amusement.

Great, just… great.

It’s so dark under the covers, you can’t see Ellis, but you feel his large hand slip under the Queen’s silk nightgown you’re wearing, reaching until he’s cradling your bare breast in his palm.

“You’re so soft,” he whispers.

He kneads the soft tissue, brushing his thumb against your firm nipple. His other hand comes behind your head, guiding you to him, and he gently captures your lips in a series of feathery kisses.

Your head protests at how inappropriate this is… You’re in the Queen’s bed wearing the Queen’s nightgown, but Ellis’s kisses are so sweet and so tender your body’s betraying you, and you’re melting into his tall frame.

“The covers are too heavy, aren’t they? I’ll remove them for you.”

Your eyes snap wide open. Pushing the covers back will mean Jude can see what Ellis is doing, what you’re doing, how exposed you are with the nightgown bunched around your chest. Before you can even speak, Ellis is already lifting the covers, and you can feel Jude’s piercing amethyst eyes boring into the back of your head, judging the living fuck out of you, but your mind goes blank when Ellis recaptures your lips with his. His fingers are doing things to your breasts that make you shiver and moan and want more, more of his honeyed touch.

Jude shifts from behind you, and you realize with a start he’s groaning – groans you assumed were coming from Ellis – and… Was he stroking himself?! 

The idea of Jude getting off on watching you and Ellis is thrilling. You throb at the thought, thighs clamping tightly together, rousing tremors vibrating throughout your hot, bothered body.

A cold hand – which can only be Jude’s as Ellis’s burn – slithers up your quivering thigh. His hand is like ice on your flaming skin, a welcome respite from the inferno you’ve turned into. His finger hooks into your underwear and pulls it down in one swift movement before probing your slick crease and circling your aching clit.

Your hips violently jerk when he slips two fingers in.

“Naughty princess,” Jude snickers. 

Your cheeks burn, but Jude curls his fingers, and the moment he does you’re moaning. His fingertips caressing that heavenly spot has you arching your back and curling your toes, and you’re writhing from the hot and cold hands exploring your wretched body. You reflexively push your hips back against Jude, silently begging for him to go faster… deeper… Between Ellis and Jude, you’re losing control, caught in an overwhelming whirlwind of lips and digits and limbs. 

Ellis notices Jude’s entrance and pulls away from his quest to conquer your lips. “Oh, Jude. Do you want to go first or should I?”

“Tch… I’m already down here, ain’t I?”

Jude snakes his arm around your waist and fluidly pulls the two of you up until you’re bracing yourself on all fours. Ellis warmly smiles, slipping out of his clothes and re-positioning himself by your head.

His erection stares at you imploringly.

And what a pretty erection it is… His cock looks just like him. Tall, slender, pleasantly safe yet enticingly manly. 

“I want to feel you. Can I feel you?” Ellis innocently asks, and you’re so mesmerized by how alluring he looks, you lick your lips and part your mouth, curious as to how he’ll taste. Ellis takes that as an invitation and pops his twitching member into your waiting mouth.

He tastes salty. Pleasant. His fragrant musk overtakes your senses, and you swirl your tongue around his smooth tip, eagerly bobbing lower and lower down his shaft until he’s tickling the back of your throat, and Ellis is closing his eyes with a blissful, dreamy sigh.

You hear rustling from behind you – Jude removing his clothes. Something long and firm slides through your folds, probing your inner lips and coating itself in your syrupy arousal. He sinks in without warning – not that you expect anything less from him – and you lustfully whimper as Jude buries himself to the hilt. 

“Foolish lil bird…”

He’s stretching you deliciously open, the friction of his cock in you electric. While Ellis is allowing you to take the lead, Jude is bullying your dripping cunt, grasping the sides of your hips in a bruising, vice-like grip. He callously pounds into you like a madman, almost as if he’s punishing you for your depravity, and the dichotomy of their demeanors muddles your hazy mind into a torrential, dizzying spin. 

“Ngh… you feel so… so nice…” Ellis breathlessly rasps. His fingers tangle themselves in your hair, jerking uncontrollably as your mouth works its sinful magic sucking along his full length.

The room fills with the sounds of your desperate moaning, Ellis’s ragged gasping, Jude’s angry grunting, and a degenerate, wet squelching, a cacophony of debauchery.

You’re drowning, caught in roiling, turbulent waves violently crashing against the shore of your inflamed body, but you want – no, need – more. You can’t tell up from down, but it’s not enough, and before you know it, your trembling finger is reaching for your clit.

“Whaddya think yer doing, huh?” Jude growls. “If ya wanted me to torture ya some more, all ya had to do was ask.”

There’s a dark, twisted edge to his words, and he forcefully shoves your hand away. His arm wraps around your waist for leverage so he can continue furiously rutting into you while his other hand finds its way back to your swollen pink nub. His movements are rough, but they only add to the storm brewing in your center. Jolts of lightning course through your veins.

You’re teetering on the edge, one tiny push of pleasure away from falling.

“Mmm… I–I’m close… I…” Ellis tenses in your mouth. His breathing is labored, needy whimpers humming in his throat.

Ellis looks absolutely breath-taking. A rosy flush covering his cheeks. Sweat beading along his brow. Unruly, wavy hair sticking to his forehead. Twilight eyes fluttering closed. A pretty, pouting mouth dropping open.

He’s beautiful.

“Catch me in your mouth, okay?” Ellis’s voice cracks as he pleads achingly, and before you can make sense of what he’s asked, he pulls taut, passionately crying out your name and feverishly convulsing, spilling onto your tongue.

You swallow rapaciously, milking every last drop out of his spasming cock. He tastes bitter, salty, and sweet, and you don’t want to miss a single drop.

The taste of him… the sound of his ecstatic cries… the daze of his glazed-over eyes push you over the edge, and you fall, careening into a deep abyss. Your fingers curl desperately into the sheets, your vision explodes with stars, and staggering shockwaves rip through you so ferociously, you’re blinded. You tremble and quiver and shake, and you clamp down around Jude so hard, he hisses savagely.

You don’t know whether you should scream ‘Ellis’ or ‘Jude’, but your mind is so addled, it doesn’t matter, and you’re only capable of deliriously mewling instead.

As the tension leaves your body, you dissolve into a puddle of rapturous exhaustion. Your arms can no longer support you on their own, and Jude’s hold around you is the only reason you haven’t crumpled into an unraveled mess.

Ellis soothingly runs his slender fingers through your hair, delicately stroking your scalp with his fingertips, mumbling sweet nothings in your ears while Jude nips your neck and sneers…

“Oh, you’ll regret letting me know that ya like this.”

You barely register the promise of torment laced under Jude’s sinister words or Ellis gently pulling out of your slack mouth and switching places with Jude, your trance breaking only when Jude looms inches away from your face. Something wicked gleams in Jude’s eyes, complementing the arrogant smirk splayed on his lips.

“Hope yer ready, Princess, cause I ain’t gonna be so gentle with ya.”

You shudder. The threat of his words aren’t lost on you, and as Ellis slowly slides into your abused cunt and Jude abruptly shoves his cock between your parted lips, only one thought runs through your mind…

It’s going to be a long night.

[biconicfinn]

Sam/T'Challa Headcanons

just some general headcanons for my faves <3

i dont remember much of the mcu timelines anymore but whatever have this post okay thank you

i'm thinking maybe they get together post-ca:cw, t'challa helps shelter steve, bucky, sam, clint, scott, and wanda in wakanda for a while so they can recover

obvs bucky goes into cryo and then i'm thinking maybe clint takes wanda under his wing and goes on the run, maybe scott joins them too idk i didn't spend too much time thinking about it

so it's just steve, sam, and cryo bucky

steve spends most of his time talking to bucky and moping and being generally Emo but eventually starts going stir-crazy so he turns his usual captain america suit into the nomad one, and heads off to go be a vigilante fugitive

meanwhile sam decides to stay in wakanda; he hasn't had a chance to just be in a long, long time, not since captain america first knocked on his door asking for a safe place. he stays in a small little apartment in the capital city, kinda near the palace so people can still keep an eye on him

over several weeks sam establishes a routine: wake up, go for a run around the neighbourhood (cutting through the public gardens at the palace), come back home and work out, shower, eat breakfast, go out on a patrol with the border tribe around the area, explore the city and practice xhosa along the way, check in with sarah, lunch, check in with steve and bucky, read, sleep, repeat.

he finds a purpose in the help he gives his neighbours, helping the older lady next door with errands at the market, telling the kids stories about what it feels like to fly with your own wings, joining the border tribe on their patrols around the city

occasionally he runs into the generous (and gorgeous) king who gracefully allows him to stay in wakanda in peace while running through the palace gardens

t'challa rises with the sun and often runs in the morning to get at least some form of training in; crucial on days where he's stuck in meetings

sometimes the two run into each other—once literally, and okoye never lets t'challa hear the end of how he was so very flustered by sam wilson taking off his shirt to cool off and the sight of him all hot and sweaty and half-naked made him freeze and run right into said man—and sam has to come to terms with the fact that getting lapped by superhuman attractive men (though he personally prefers t'challa over steve) is just his life now

typically sam opens their conversation with a cat pun that makes t'challa fight back a smile and respond with something so dry and deadpan, couched in the characteristic diplomatic quality he uses it takes sam a minute to reply and react

but when sam does understand, t'challa is met with a charming half-smirk half-smile that makes his heart trip and he relies on all his diplomatic training to remain neutral or at the most amused at sam's comments

the conversations grow slowly, from casual one-liners and sarcastic quips to sam's stories of riley and sarah and his community back in delacroix, and t'challa's anecdotes about growing up in wakanda

soon enough, what starts off as a brief conversation during a part of their respective runs becomes a standing daily routine run together, the two becoming fast friends, admiring one another's loyalty, dedication, honesty, and determination

of course, because sam and t'challa are sam and t'challa, the platonic friendship with a side of appreciative attraction slowly becomes a crush

and it's not just the funny stories and misadventures they share with one another, but the sleepless nights and trauma and grief and healing too

sam couldn't sleep one night and went for a walk in the gardens he ran into an equally sleepless t'challa and so began yet another routine for them; to sit in the gardens at a clearing where the stars were bright and plentiful and visible, so vast that sam felt an ache in his bones to be up there, to be in the skies along the stars, and he realised that if there was anyone he wanted to be up there with him, it was the man sitting next to him in quiet contemplation, shoulders slumped slightly, expression handsomely brooding; the man behind the mantles of king and black panther

t'challa found himself wandering towards the gardens on those nights he couldn't sleep, when the weight of the crown and his legacy and the nation weighed so heavily on him that he felt he would crumble under it, he sought out the clearing in the garden, and more importantly, the man with his soul in the skies, his heart wherever he could help people

some nights were quiet for the most part, a brief check-in with one another before just simply taking comfort in one another's company. others were filled with conversation, those deep talks you only feel safe having in the dead of night, when the only thing awake and alive is nature, when every word is just that much more honest and real

losing parents and partners, the responsibilities of leadership, recovery and healing; just some of the things the two talk about when they can be just them, no titles or nationalities or protocol there to censor them

over morning runs and late-night conversations, sharing music and food and language and culture, and impromptu excursions to the city or beyond they grow close and find that their feelings are getting more and more difficult to ignore, both wanting more than just a friendship

it's not during a morning run or nighttime confession that they admit their feelings, but over a shared lunch together

they're eating a simple picnic lunch near the warrior falls where t'challa will soon undergo the first part of his coronation ritual and offer the people of wakanda to send a representative to fight him in ritual combat for the throne

the view of the falls is spectacular, and sam's wide-eyed face of awe and wonder, bright smile shining with all the warmth of the sun makes t'challa feel like he could take on the entire country in ritual combat and come out the other side victorious if sam continues to smile at him like that and if they had more time then they would probably go for a swim, but they don't so here they are, alone at the falls, the rush of water and the sounds of the river fauna their only company

they're laying on a blanket on the grass, watching the clouds, and sam feels just as at peace on the ground with t'challa next to him then he's ever felt with his wings in the skies

during a discussion about the coronation where t'challa answers the questions sam asks him. the subject turns to his duties as king, and sam asks about whether t'challa is expected to marry a woman in order to produce heirs for the throne. he knows wakanda doesn't discriminate against people for sexuality or gender identity, but the duties of a king are to ensure the legacy of the royal bloodline is preserved isn't it?

t'challa laughs, and says that while the royal bloodline is important, there is no restriction on who the king (or queen) marries, as long as they would be able to connect with the people, serve and help the people of wakanda the way any good ruler should

"so what i'm hearing is all's fair in love and war"

"i guess you could say that"

"so if gender and sexuality don't matter; does nationality?"

"perhaps in the past yes, but i feel wakanda is changing, and that it will not be such a concern moving forward"

"even if the king were to be with, say, a fugitive american ex-pararescue-slash-ex-avenger?"

t'challa turns to face sam, heart caught in his throat as he processes just what sam said, takes in the hopeful and tentative look in his eyes masked by a slightly wavering tone of jest and hunour, as he shifts to mirror him.

the moment stretches out for what feels like an eternity before t'challa can respond

"for you, my falcon, i think we can make an exception"

their lips meet, the two smiling too much for the kiss to be anything other than as sweet and warm as honey and sunshine, and sam wraps his arms around t'challa, bringing the king on top of him, and two exchange soft kisses and softer words until t'challa gets called away, promising to meet later not just for their near-nightly rendezvous, but for dinner in t'challa's private quarters

okay so that's all for now! i kinda hate how this turned out but whatever it's done!! taglist under the cut! if anyone didn't want to be added i'm sorry just let me know and i'll delete!

@sambuckies @thewondrouspickle @tchalcons @like-butterflies-and-glitter @shadowyenthusiaststudentus @vodka-infused-unicorn @cassleia @finger-lickin-fuckboy @twisterss

[katierosefun]

i originally had a september wrap-up post queued but then tumblr fucking ate it, which made me very angry because i didn’t want to re-type the whole thing, but i’m procrastinating, so here i am, re-typing the whole thing of all the things i watched/consumed over the month of september, even if it’s a little late: (it’s fine, i didn’t watch a whole ton of stuff except...a lot of kdramas lmao. oh, and visions.) 

k-dramas: 

beyond evil 

okay, so i think this has been on my rec list for literally forever now, but...besties, i’m on my fifth watch of this goddamn show in the span of maybe two months, so if that doesn’t tell you how much this show has been a comfort/eating my brain lately, idk what will. 

i literally never shut up about this show, but if you’ve somehow been missing from my blog for a little bit, a quick summary: lee dong sik (played by the ever-wonderful shin ha kyun) was accused of murder + kidnapping a few young women, including his own twin sister 20 years ago. he’s lived a pretty quiet life on his own, and now 20 years later, his whole world is turned upside down again when hotshot new inspector han joo won (played by the talented yeo jin goo) comes into this little town. when the murders start up again, these two are thrown into a hellishly complex mystery. will throw you in for a hellish loop. i think my thoughts best summarize this show as come for the murder mystery, stay for whatever the hell joo won and dong sik have. 

okay, but all joking aside about how much i love joo won and dong sik (because...i truly do love them), this show was incredibly healing. once again: this show has quickly become a comfort show, basically to the point where i just watch it whenever i feel down (which happens to be a lot these days). idk man. humans aren’t meant to carry burdens on their own and all that stuff. sometimes u just need to remind yourself that. 

the crowned clown 

so, after watching beyond evil the fourth time, i realized that maybe i wanted to watch some of the actors’ other works. that was how i found myself watching the crowned clown, which...is an excellent kdrama now available on netflix (also on viki for free, just as beyond evil is). honestly, it’s been a hot second since i’ve watched historical dramas (saeguks), so i was a little unsure what to expect, but this show. bro. this show reminded me just how much i love historical dramas, because the court politics? the costumes? the music? the acting? fantastic. 

basically, this show is about the young clown (ie. performer) ha seon (played by yeo jin goo) who now has to replace the king, who might be like...two seconds away from snapping (if he hasn’t already). the reason they’re able to do this is because they look exactly identical despite not being related. 

this story is honestly wonderful. i loved it, and it’s an interesting way to look at the story behind the actual king (because. apparently this king was a real person, and i think his story has inspired quite a few other korean movies/shows). i thought yeo jin goo was brilliant in this show, and it’s really no surprise he became the youngest person ever nominated for a baeksang award because of this series. i was truly blown away by just how versatile he proved to be of an actor, and his dynamics with the other characters (the queen, the secretary being my fave, as well as the old eunuch jo), i just...bro. i’ll admit i wasn’t the biggest fan of the romance (don’t get me wrong! it was sweet!), but i think that might have been because this was so court politics heavy, and i adored it for that. if you’ve never watched a historical drama but want to and just don’t know where to start, i highly recommend this. 

d.p. 

bro....this show was dark. i watched it all in 2 days (pretty easy to do, considering it’s 6 episodes and maybe 40-50 minutes long per episode), and i needed to lie down. this is just one of those shows that i feel is...very important to watch, even if the content matter isn’t very bright. 

basically, dp is about two deserter pursuit officers: ahn jun ho (played by jung hae in) and han ho yul (played by koo kyo hwan). deserter pursuit officers are basically people who chase after people who deserted their military post--and for those who don’t know, being in the military is mandatory for men in south korea. this is the result of the armistice between the north and the south--basically, since north korea never agreed to an actual peace treaty, south korea is constantly under threat of war, which is why men need to serve at least a few years. (this is why a lot of actors + kpop band members often take breaks from their careers--to fulfill their military service time. because yup, even celebrities aren’t exempt from service!) 

anyways, this show really doesn’t pull back their punches. major trigger warnings for things like intense harrassment, suicide, domestic violence...it really does capture just how dark life can be, and also how toxic the military can be for men. because of that, i felt this show was incredibly well-crafted, incredibly nuanced, and in the end, i just felt sad. that said though, there was a hopeful ending, and i’m glad that this show was renewed for a second season, as i think this show is just...really important. 

squid game 

okay, so i don’t want to be that person, but your girl was watching squid game right after it came out, so i was here before the hype train--but okay, okay, i digress. (i am glad that this show is getting hype. i feel it’s very important that people watch this show.) 

if you haven’t noticed how squid game’s climbed to #1 on netflix worldwide (i think, anyways), well, then...buddy. squid game is about a bunch of people who have the chance to earn lots of money by playing what seems like innocent children’s games. (spoilers: they are far from innocent.) 

this show scarred me, to be honest. i needed to watch something lighthearted after this, just because it was so intense. lots of trigger warnings for blood and gore, as well as just. losing faith in humanity. but also, like dp, i felt this show was necessary. it was incredibly well-constructed in that it showed just what desperate people will do in order to survive, as well as exactly what a terrible capitalistic society will do to the working class. it’s depressing and sad, but also incredibly chilling because like. you can’t help but watch the characters and think, but would i do the same thing? i just want to pay off my own debt and take care of my family. wouldn’t i do the same thing? 

i won’t say more of this show for fear of spoilers, but. let me just say. that i really am glad this show exists. i hope people actually notice what the fuck it’s saying about our current system too, because hm, maybe i just want to suck the fun out of things, but there’s something very disturbing about how people are already cute-ifying this show (ie. “this is what i would wear to the squid games! :D�� and “look at these squid-game inspired cookies! :D”, as if this show didn’t just deliver a heart-crushing message about capitalism + how the wealthy fuck over anyone who isn’t the 1% BUT ANYWAYS) 

tv 

star wars: visions 

lately i’ve been feeling weird about star wars for lots of different reasons which i don’t particularly feel like addressing today, but. visions really reminded me why i fell in love with star wars in the first place. i think for starters, well. it’s no surprise when i say that i felt an intense amount of joy of seeing east asian cultures so beautifully incorporated and respected in this show (no surprise seeing that this show was literally crafted by japanese anime studios), but like. it really was. a beautiful thing. i cried at least once per episode, either because i was so in awe of the animation and the themes or because i was just in awe that this thing exists. 

i think my favorite episode had to be the village bride--there was something so incredibly powerful about seeing someone who looked a bit like me say i am a jedi. what an iconic line. what an iconic story about a sad traumatized gal deciding to step up and fight, actually. peak star wars. 

but besides all that...i really did feel like...this show captured the beauty and essence of what makes star wars actually good. the themes of good versus evil, a lot of stuff between siblings (bro....the twins and lop and ocho FUCKED ME UP), choosing to have brighter and better days ahead (the village bride, the ninth jedi, the duel, tatooine rhapsody)...like, i really loved how each episode really took everything that was good about star wars and just turned it into something even more beautiful. this series will stay with me for a long time, i think--and i am very grateful for the people involved in this project for reminding me why i fell in love with this universe in the first place. :”)

[storiesofsvu]

I'm about to invade your ask box. Hope that's cool.

Your photography of the grey stuff cupcake made me think of this question. I've only been to Disney World/Land once and didn't try any of the cool food. What Disney food and drinks do you recommend?

Omg INVADE AWAY! ESP about Disney! Okay...I’m doing this by memory, and it’s been a while so I will likely forget things, but lets go park by park:

WDW

Magic Kingdom: classic Mickey pretzel, Mickey ice cream bar, Mickey ice cream sandwich, found at most kiosks throughout most of the parks. Pretzels are delicious and come with cheese sauce automatically now, YUM.

-Corn Dog Nuggets from Casey’s corner. They’re exactly what you’d think they are and they are the best meal/snack

-Giant cinnamon buns from Gaston’s Tavern

-Grey stuff from Be our Guest (need reservations, lunch & dinner are very different) breakfast is the most worth the cost, but no grey stuff

-Dole whips, kiosk in adventureland(also have these at Disneyland) pineapple soft serve in a cup or with pine juice in a float! Great to eat while waiting for parade in the sun

-Pecos Bills in Frontierland: has a fajita platter, its HUGE, ask for an extra set of tortillas (will cost but cheap) then go WILD at the free topping bar, more than enough food for two people

-I THINK they might still have poutine at the little kiosk across from pecos, waffle fry poutine but they might’ve gotten rid of it

Hollywood Studios:

I’ve heard great things about Star Wars land & Toy Story land food, but haven’t been since they were built...the rest of the food at DHS is crap. Except for the pb 7& j milkeshake from 50’s prime time cafe, it’s a sit down restaurant with great food, but you can get milkshakes to go at the bar that’s walk in

Animal Kingdom:

-Avatar land has some great meals and snacks, and some super yummy boozy (or non boozy) slushes

-Yak & Yeti sit down is my fave, they also have deep fried cream cheese wontons on the dessert menu, YUM.

-Harambe market place has great smaller snack/small meal type things.

-Flame Tree BBQ is the best bang for your buck, big meals and portions and lots of choices

Epcot:

-Best food out of all parks, hands down.

-Skip future world food completely, it’s all your basic burgers and fries minus Sunshine Seasons inside of the Land, they’ve got some super delicious, super fresh, and grown in house meals.

-world showcase is WHERE IT IS AT though.

Canada: sit down restaurant Le Collier, their filet mignon is to DIE for, holy shit (they also exclusively use Alberta beef, so you know its good) also peep that pretzel bread, and beer & cheddar cheese soup. You NEED reservations here and it fills up FAST (one of the smallest dining rooms on property)

-Uk: fish and chip stand. Literally the only fish & chips I’ve found since being in Aus that taste good. Beware the seagulls though... the Welsh Dragon drink at the rose & crown is bomb!!

-France: grand mariner orange slush(during flower & garden get the pink slush) amazing baguette sandwiches inside the bakery, along with so many good treats

-Morocco’s quick service has great platters, the vegetarian platter is delicious!!

-Japan: Tokyo sunset drink, their quick serve is super good, but your basic Japanese food you can get anywhere

-Italy: in the wine shop, a glass of rose regala! Inside Tutto Gusto, go to the bar and get a espresso martini. They don’t have a quick serve, but Via Napoli has great pizzas, and during food & wine their food is amazing (duh)

-Germany: grapefruit beer (also a great choice if drinking around the world cause its only 2%) also LIFE HACK: go to the very last shop in the shops on the left, they have cheese plates & wine flights for like $5 a piece! Don’t waste your time on the pretzels, they’re usually stale/dry.

-Norway: people are obsessed with the school bread, but i don’t like it, but their bakery has lots of yummy options

-Mexico: fucking a avocado margarita my friends! (If you want blended) or a cucumber margarita for not blended. If spicy is your thing, get a jalapeño one. They’re all located inside the temple in the small margarita shop also TONS of tequila options, it’s tiny, so there’s going to be a line and chances are you will have to buy one and not get a seat unless you want a long wait.

Advice on drinking around the world (aka, having one drink in each country) ITS EXPENSIVE, budget like $120MIN. Get one drink, drink it between that pavilion while you explore, AND the next one, skip the 2nd country and get a new drink in the third (aka, start in Canada, drink your beer during it and the UK, get a fresh drink in France and so on) repeat this over two loops around world showcase. Also SHARE drinks, and for the love of god drink water, it’s florida after all.’

RESORTS:

Starting with my favourite “monorail pub crawl” we usually opt to do this during out MK day and start on the monorail there, heading to....

Contemporary: the Blue lagoon drink from the Wave, it’s a fishbowl drink meant for sharing and there’s gummy fishes in it.

-Otherwise, time it right and head up to the California Grill lounge to watch the sunset/fireworks

Polynesian: the Lapu Lapu upstairs by Ohana is served in a pineapple and super yummy. I prefer to head to Trader Sams downstairs. Inside is tiny and usually busy but they have an outdoor terrace with the same menu, the Zombie head is delicious, but hella strong. The Uh-ohh is meant for sharing and DELICIOUS and they set it on fire and let you throw cinnamon in it, which is bomb. The headhunter roll sushi is bomb

Grand Floridian: grab a glass of wine from the Citricos lounge i usually opt for a blush sparkling but now i cant remember the name. We usually also order a cheese board & charcuterie here and take them to the couches in the upstairs lobby to listen to the live music, but there’s a new bar there now so that’s probably not do able.

Fort Wilderness Resort & campground: Davy crockett’s tavern has some amazing moonshine drinks. Trail’s end is also a super bomb buffet, but the QUEEN of everything here is the Hoop Dee Doo musical revue (again, book in advance) it’s dinner and a show, dinner includes, cornbread, salad, fried chicken, ribs, potatoes, corn (ask for the Mac and cheese too), beans, strawberry shortcake, red or white sangria, red or white wine or beer, or non alcoholic drinks and IT IS ALL YOU CAN EAT AND ALL YOU CAN DRINK. Seriously. And the shows incredible.

Animal Kingdom lodge: the “Mara” their food court, has without a doubt the most authentic dishes and they are delicious, they also have “zebra domes” which are a dessert, they’re like...cookie chocolate, custard, with booze filling? I dont know how to describe them but theyr’e amazing

Disney Springs: Ragland Road. It’s my ride or die. You can create your own beer/cider flights for super cheap and the size of the drinks are decent! The shrimp and scallops on the appi menu are delicious

Also Earl of Sandwich: the holiday sandwich is my go to.

DISNEYLAND:

-honestly, overall, way better quick service food than WDW.

-Soup in a bread bowl in California adventure, different flavours of soup, or you can do salad (also check out the bakery next door where they give out free sourdough samples)

-In New Orlean’s square, just like, anything and everything, the gumbo is amazing, you must try the beignets, and the mint juleps

Okay that got WAY out of hand and there’s probably way more things that I’m forgetting or that or more authentic that I just can’t remember right now, BUT, there ya go!

[aonogifreactions]

Yukio Okumura Alphabet Headcanons - [SFW]

a/n: its finally here! and suprisingly, its not 2am, lmfao- heres our fave problematic boi. he deserves love too.

Yukio:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

Yukio's quite affectionate! However, most of the affection occurs somewhere in private, rarely in public; but it's not like he doesn't like showing it - he considers it somewhat intimate. Yukio has no problem holding your hand in public or wrapping his arm around your waist, though.

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Being yourself. Not acting like completely another person, whether its to just to fit in or to get an advantage in something. Even though it sounds kinda silly, he loves seeing you being yourself, the real you, doing what you like. It comforts him in a way, considering that he always had to change himself to either be an adult and take care of someone, or fighting his own demons. Since he always has to have a facade on, it's oddly satisfying seeing the person he loves the most being true to themselves and others.

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

In private? hell yes. anytime, unless he's doing some important work (well,, he still lets you sit on his lap nonetheless). Loves to cuddle, even if he's a bit reluctant at first, since he isn't really used to it. Whenever you cuddle, he always unconsciously intertwines his fingers with you - it's a habit he's developed as he got used to the other person's touch.

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

Similar to Rin - having a normal life. No satan, no Illuminati, just quiet and peace. Yukio also wishes to open up about himself and finally, leave any troubles and dishonesty behind. He feels guilty a lot knowing he's probably messed up too much and it's probably not gonna happen.

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

He does his best! He has a great memory, so whenever an anniversary or bday approaches, he's already prepared. He also cares a lot, and it shows whenever he checks up on you - he acts kinda like a strict and caring mom, but that's just how he is. Questions about your wellbeing are always honest. Emotionally, he might be a little clumsy.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

Outside is calm and collected, but outside he's panicking. He handles the situation pretty well, no matter if it's something serious or not. He asks if you're okay, if you need anything; if he hears "no", he kisses you on your forehead, sits next to you and pulls you closer to him, so you can wrap your hands around him and listen to his heartbeat. He doesn't say anything; instead, he plays with your hair and gives small kisses on the crown on your head.

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

He's the jewelry type of guy. Whether it's expensive or something on the cheaper side, he likes both if it holds some kind of meaning. He loves buying you bracelets, sometimes he gets himself a matching one and wears it hidden under that black, exorcist coat. Doesn't really want nor expects to get a gift in return, and will have a hard time accepting one, but eventually, he'll take it. (and I mean, if you shove it in his hands and leave)

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

Hugging is a must, but in a very subtle way. Oh, you two greet for the first time this day? He side hugs you, placing a kiss on your forehead. Side hug works as a goodbye as well. Full-on hugs occur usually after a tough mission, if your life's been in danger or he feels particularly affectionate that day.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

He's pretty romantic, likes those cliche things, like giving you flowers or lighting candles for a special dinner for you two. Sometimes he cringes a lot because of that cheesy things, but it's really sweet, considering his personality. The only problem with intimacy is, well, his mind that at first, doesn't want to allow you to get to know his struggles. Since he's always self-loathing, it's really hard to get through that thick walls he's built throughout the years; He does actually open up eventually, but it takes him a lot of time - he wants to know that he can trust you.

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Gets jealous only if you're "interacting too much" with people close to him - like Rin (sorry), Bon, or Renzo. Yukio just stares and, possibly, burns holes in the other person's skull. He'll place his chin on his palm, resting his elbow on the desk and.. just stare with no shame. If that person looks at him, he just smiles, but let me tell you, that smile is NOT a pleasant one. (aka "you better stop or else" kind of smile)

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

He's a decent kisser. I think he's kissed before, so he generally knows what to do and gets better as the relationship goes. Likes kissing, surprisingly! Often kisses you around your face, like on the forehead, cheeks, or your hair. Lips kisses, however, are mostly shared in private -  he feels it's way more serious and intimate than any other kiss.

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

Yukio says "I love you" when he feels like it; it's not like he doesn't love you, it's just the way he is. Even though it's not often, he pours everything from his heart into these words. He's most likely emotionally vulnerable during this time, too -  when his walls break down and he finally lets some of his struggles out, he always says that three words when he's done with his monologue. Sometimes however, you can do a random thing, and out of nowhere you hear him saying it too (just imagine eating marshmallows and hearing his "I love you", then looking at him with your stuffed mouth.. well-). He's a 50/50 guy - he knows he doesn't say that often, so he makes it up by trying to show it in different ways.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

Would love to get married! But Yukio being Yukio, thinks that who'd want a fool like him to spend their life with? with him? after all he's done? You won't accept his proposal, bet! When he's actually going to propose, he thinks "you only die once" (this proverb is so cursed-) and he's just gonna do it, thinking he's gonna be rejected. Would like a small ceremony, only with people he trusts the most and your families. (Mephisto is NOT invited, by the way.) ((yes, he's mad about it. hoes mad))

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

Home dates all the way! Or, if night walks are considered dates, they're his favorite. Walking through the city with a cold breeze, empty streets, and blinking stars above him - it's his guilty pleasure. There's no one to bother him, and the fact that he can share this feeling with you makes him feel fulfilled inside. If it's okay with you, he can go on walks like this every night (unless the weather sucks).

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

As silly as it sounds, he's usually against a nice, specific skincare routine. Whether you suggest giving you both masks, he turns that down. He thinks it takes too much time and ultimately does nothing to make his skin better. (psst, just beg him until he gives up and gets a tiger mask on)

P = Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

He's quite playful if he's in a good mood. His only weapon is to tickle you whenever you expect it the least.

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

Depending on what topic the discussion is about, he might or not ask you for your opinion. He does value your thoughts on things, but if it's something regarding his actions, he's very likely to listen to himself anyway. If it's about something more light-hearted or less serious in general, he's definitely gonna ask you. He himself shares his own opinion rarely, unless he's cornered.

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

It's been planned ahead, at first, but given that his "adventures" with both the Order and Illuminati made things quite... messy, it's now considered kinda spontaneous. He, to be honest, doesn't want anymore to plan things too far ahead, not knowing if they're gonna actually work out or not.

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

He's a switch! Most of the time he's the big spoon, sleeping behind you with his arm over your hip, but when his mental health gets worse, he likes being spooned. Before sleeping, he has a small routine with you - when you're lying in bed, he hugs you tightly to reassure both himself and you that you're still here for him and he's for you, safe and sound.

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Yukio's got a little bit of trust issues, at first. In the first few months, he won't tell any information about either himself, or Rin. If his s/o doesn't participate in exorcist classes, he won't even bring up the topic of being the son of Satan himself (so his schedule might seem a little bit sketchy). He's that kind of guy that believes his relationship won't last long, so he sees no need to tell any sensitive info that could possibly cause even more problems. As the relationship progresses and he realizes his s/o deserves to know and has put up with his shit to the current day, Yukio will slowly break the news, feeling extremely guilty.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

Despite him bottling up his emotions and thoughts, he's a top-notch listener. Whenever something is bothering you, he's gonna ask if you wanna talk about it; he's gonna listen to it and give you the best advice he could possibly think of. He thinks something along the lines of "if I can't be helped, at least I'll help someone else that actually cares about me."

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

Very, very long. A whole ass year, if not more. His breakdowns are very violent - they start with him being furious - he's yelling, pacing around, and holding guns all the time; might also throw stuff, so in this phase, it's better to let him do his thing, instead of getting yourself injured and making him blame himself for more. The second and last phase is when he just kneels and lowers his head, dropping the guns on the floor and placing both of his hands on his face; that's when he starts sobbing, apologizing, and saying what's been on his mind all that time. He chokes on his sobs whilst talking, his entire body is shaking and when you come closer to him to embrace him, he throws himself at you and holds you like it's the last thing he's doing on this world.

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

On a happier note, Yukio's all ready to try out some basic, simple things you're interested in! You're baking? He's here to help you in any way he can - mixing, decorating. I headcanon that he's able to read extremely fast, so he might as well read any of the books/manga you like and talk about it later on. If you're an artist, no matter if the beginner or not, he's very willing to help you with anatomy, drawing certain parts of the body, or explaining them in detail!

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

Surprisingly calm, unlike Rin. He's patched Rin up before, plus he has a meister in doctor, so he's familiar with it and is pretty skilled with his hands. If the injury is too much for him, he's gonna get you to the hospital.

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

The only things that bother him are sticking nose in other people's business or forcing him to talk about certain things.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

He's trying his best to be; likes passion himself, but feels like he doesn't deserve a single bit of it.

Yukio edit isnt mine! credit to the author! <3 headcanons written by me.

[dreamerboo]

Dream SMP headcannons|| 🍃

before i start i just wanna say these headcannons WILL follow the storyline, meaning stuff like family SBI are not going to be in here.

(seriously guys stop saying Tommy is Philza’s kid. Its been stated multiple times that Phil is not Tommy’s dad. It is lore, cannon. Found family can work for Wilbur and Tommy, BUT THEY ARE NOT RELATED.)

- While Kristin (Phil’s wife) is not stated to be canon in the DSMP lore, i think she is the Angel of Life. For death shall never consume her, and she shall always bring life and happiness wherever she goes.

- Opposite to Kristin, Phil is the Angel of Death. For life is always on his side, and he shall never succumb to that fate. Although he is a loving and kind man, he will, without hesitation take your life if he see’s fit.

- Both of they’re jobs include:

Phil:

He’s in charge of leading people to they’re ultimate fate (and also transporting they’re souls to the afterlife). If your a kind; loving person with a heart of gold, your death shall be peaceful and serene.

On the other side, if you were... lets say someone like Dream. A manipulative tyrant, trying to get everything you want, even if that means manipulating his own son Phil shall make sure your death will be one for the history books.

Kristin:

She’s in charge of leading people to a new start (transporting them to they’re new dimension to start a life). She always asks questions that would best suite you, and tells you about the different dimensions and all the creatures you can be.

If you end up with a bad life; and do not deserve it, she will absolutely try her best to make things right. Take Ranboo; he deserves none of what he’s getting, so she set up opportunities such as Micheal or the Antarctic Commune for him!!

Although if she does not like you; her angel will come after you, and beware, death is quick.

- Techno has 3 forms, Full Piglin, Hybrid, and Human! His favorite is his Piglin form, as he thinks it suits him the best. Although, he uses his Human form the most as its more easy to do things in. Although there have been a couple occasions where Phil steps into Tech’s house, only to see a giant Piglin cuddling with a polar bear

- I can never decide if i like Tanuki (Raccoon)! Tommy more, or Winged! Tommy more, so have headcannons about both:

Tanuki Tommy:

- Tanuki’s can shapeshift! He likes to use his powers on a daily basis, whether its trolling some of his friends, or getting into fights

- He has a natural connection with leaves, since they resemble transformation! Because of this he has a small collection of leaves; as well as a bracelet with a cute little leaf charm!

- He loves Sam Nook because Sam Nook, like Tommy, is also Tanuki! They get along quite well!

- Tommy’s tail is super fluffy, and quite big. You can often find Tommy walking down Prime Path with his huge tail swinging back and forth, as he hums a tune he likes to call “The Able Sisters”

- His ears are also surprisingly fluffy as well, although currently the only one allowed to touch them are Tubbo. As well as this, like most Tanukis he has a little pattern on his face that looks like a mask!

- Whenever Tommy is upset he goes into his full tanuki form; he basically looks like this:

and whenever this happens, he always scurries off to Tubbo, and proceeds to be clingy. Days like this often end up with Tommy asleep (PLATONICALLY) cuddling with Tubbo. How cute :]

Winged Tommy:

- Tommy’s wings have never fully developed. This is because when he learned that Wilbur had wings, but were cut off, he binded his own out of respect for Wilbur

- Whenever he’s happy, his wings involuntarily will flap!! This is always a tell tale sign that Tommy’s excited, happy, ect!

- His wings are white! They have no symbols, just pure white, semi-fluffy wings

- Even if he never binded his wings, he would still never know how to fly or properly take care of them. As his parents abandoned him at the young age of 4.

<—————>

- Speaking of which, Tubbo was abandoned at 5. The reason Tubbo and Tommy are so close is because while adventuring, they stumbled upon eachother and have been inseparable ever since

- Wilbur, did in fact, have wings. But as payment for L’manburg, Dream cut them off and kept them. This is one of the first events that caused Wilbur to go insane

- Eret hosts pride parades for the server! They always like to look stylish and gaudy; so if you see him in a ball gown with tons of jewelry; know its that time of year!

- George is actually a witch! Although he’s a baby witch, he wants to learn the art of potion brewing. This has also led to many cottage explosions, much to his dismay

- Whenever Sapnap gets angry, he flames up, completely engulfed in flames. He basically looks like the shape of a human but... well... fire. Because of this, its been advised people carry a small spray bottle with water, just in case.

- Skeppy taught Sapnap how to swear, much to Bad’s dismay.

- Antfrost was the first person to know Sapnap liked Quackity and Karl. The only reason Sapnap told him first is because he knew Ant wouldn’t judge him

- Puffy is called ‘Mother Puffy’ by the rest of the badlanders. ‘Grandmother Puffy’ by Sapnap.

- Quackity had pastel yellow wings! He loves to fly around at dawn and sing while the sun comes up

- No one knows exactly what dream is, nor does anyone really want to...

- Tubbo is a goat, like Shclatt! (Dad!Shclatt anyone?)

- Whenever Tubbo gets excited, others often have to grip the base of his horns to calm him down.

- Ranboo has a tail and horns as well! Whenever upset, Ranboo swishes his tail around, similar to a cat.

- Sometimes Ranboo sleep talks, with often coming out as garbled endermen noises

- Fundy will never tell anyone, but his favorite food are berries

- Niki dyes her hair everymonth, nobody knows why but they cant say its not lovely!

- Sam has green freckles. Thats its thats the po-

- Everyone really likes Jack’s eyes, because they’re two different colors

- Phantommy has two different eye colors. One green, and the other purple and white, to resemble his discs.

- Phantommy also a heart stitched into his shirt/jacket. Its a green heart, with a smiley fave over it. To resemble the fact Dream took all of his (canon) lives.

- Ghostbur likes laying in fields with sheep, liking that they’re fluffy and good cuddle buddies.

- Whenever Eret is gone, Ghostbur and Friend are in charge of the castle. They have they’re own crowns and everything!

I might make more posts like this but hOLY COW THIS IS LONG IM CUTTING IT OFF HERE

[godsofhumanity]

LORE OLYMPUS S1 (WEB COMIC) | REVIEW

okay folks so your gal just finished LO season 1, thought i might just give my two cents about the whole shebang. spoilers below cut.

OVERVIEW: LO S1 pretty much just revolves around Persephone in a modern-day AU (kind of?? idk i’m still unclear about this) where she manages to convince Demeter to let her move to Olympus, where she lives with Artemis. Shit happens and she meets Hades, CEO of the Underworld (literally tbh) and they fall in love, but they both have lots of issues and obstacles that they must first get past before they can like, get together. 

RATING: idk.. 5/10 ?? it’s not a favourite, and i wouldn’t read it twice.. but yeah. i really think reading it for yourself is a lot better than just going by other people’s opinions (which is what i did previously). it’s honestly, quite a quick read.

AVAILABLE ON: webtoon

THINGS I LIKED:

> the author’s artistic choice to keep all the characters related to a single colour scheme. visually speaking, this is very appealing and helps the reader differentiate between characters considering they all the freaking same.

> exploration of other myths on the sidelines of the main story. i particularly liked the twist on the eros-psyche myth where aphrodite actually calms down and decides to test how much eros really loves psyche, because she doesn’t want her son’s heart broken again.

> aphrodite’s whole family in general. ares, eros, aphrodite and the little kids are so fucking cute... i’m not a fan of aphrodite in most interpretations but i actually like her in LO. she’s questionable at the start but she gets better i think.

> zeus, poseidon and hades having “compulsory” family brunch where it’s just “bonding time” with the bros. i thought that was pretty funny.

> HERA!!! during *that scene* (y’all know the one) when Hera could sense that someone was in pain, that they were in distress but she wasn’t sure who... aghhhhhh like a mother concerned for her child... 

> also hera teaching Hebe that it’s wrong to snoop around... Hebe.. so cute

> helios having a chain around his neck. don’t get me wrong, i HATE that he’s being used for labour, like a punishment, he deserves so much better!! BUT, i like that the consequences of war are actually shown,, and that the olympians aren’t as hot as they think themselves to be, like everyone pretty much hates them.

> pomegranate soda or whatever it was.. clever

> i like Minthe as a character. it seems to be that she genuinely wants to be better, and that she does in fact like Hades, but she is really struggling with her emotional state, and i hope she gets help. soon. i said before that i thought hades x minthe would be better than hades x persephone, but now i realise that actually no, that’d be very toxic.. but i am wondering about minthe x thanatos because it seems to me they are actually pretty good to each other (EXHIBIT A: thanatos bringing minthe food when she was an emotional wreck and wouldn’t leave her apartment after hades broke up with her).

> fave characters so far: hera, poseidon, ares, eros, aphrodite, hermes, thanatos, hades, helios, and controverisal but... zeus (idk.. i’m still deciding)

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE

> alright let’s talk about hades-persephone’s relationship. first of all, i think that even in a “modern au”, if Persephone had been like 2000, and Hades had been like 4000, that at least would have made sense because like, they’re gods, so comparatively that would’ve been alright. BUT, Persephone is NINETEEN (19). not converting from goddess-to-human years.. i mean she has actually been alive for 19 fucking years. she is not just a child compared to Hades, she is a fucking BABY!!!!!! she’s a newborn!!!! and Persephone’s “youthfulness” is clearly demonstrated in her immaturity (which is natural because she’s a fucking teenager) AND her lack of awareness about the real world.. she has no experience (don’t get me wrong, this isn’t exactly her fault)

[EG] persephone trying to give the poor souls on the beach money so that they can get a ride with charon, and then a riot starting because that was a stupid decision and she doesn’t know any better...

> Hades, on the other hand, is like a grown-ass man who is running a company and managing the souls of the underworld, etc, etc. Hades thought it was OKAY to pull out the eye of a news reporter because he slandered Persephone (an eye for an eye is a pretty archaic principle, which makes since because, oh yeah, Hades IS archaic!).Hades has soooo many years of experience more than Persephone. he literally fought in the olympian-titan war!! Hades treats Persephone well, for sure... but honestly?? she is just too young... and the weirdest thing about it?? most of the characters in the story ALSO AGREE THAT SHE IS A CHILD!!!!!!

> related to the above^^, Hecate literally, when she first hears about hades-persephone from the newspaper, SCOLDS hades, and tells him that she is wayyy too young for him.. but then literally the next chapter comes, and she’s suddenly okay with it?? she’s like shipping it too???????? HELLO???? make up your mind hecate.

> Persephone The Naked Butterfly scene where she fucking falls on top of Hades, naked....... how necessary was that?

> let’s not even talk about ap*llo in this comic.. that was fucking disgusting, and that’s all i’m gonna say about that.

> zeus setting demeter’s crops on fire because she was sick of having to cover for zeus’ affairs and finally put her foot down. you go, girl! but zeus.. that definitely did make me dislike him a little..

> thetis... HATE HATE HATE HATE her!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhhh

> why does daphne have like.. a crush on ap*llo??? shouldn’t she hate him?

> Persephone The Mass Murderer scene.......... i do NOT understand at all how some mortals digging up flowers = the death of a nymph. if this was the case, then there shouldn’t really be ANY nymphs left.. i mean so many people dig up flowers... also, idk about y’all but i’m certain that in a chapter Persephone was seen to be making flower crowns for Cerberus.. does that not require the flower to be yanked from the ground??? hello??? i feel like the author knew that she wanted Persephone to do something tragic and dangerous in order to win the name Persephone, but wasn’t sure exactly what so she just quickly put this together, because the logic is fairly lax in my opinion.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JULY 21

‘Tis the season to beat the heat at the always-cold theatres and next to fans set at turbo speed. While my movie watching slowed a bit with the launch of the Summer Olympics on July 23rd, I’ve still got plenty of popcorn-ready and artsy recommendations for you. A few themes in the new-to-me pop culture I’m recommending this month:

Casts oozing with embarrassing levels of talent (sometimes overqualified for the movies they’re in)

Pop culture that is responding or reinterpreting past pop culture

Stories that get weEeEeird

Keep on-a-scrollin’ to see which is which!

July Crowd-Pleasers

1. Double Feature – ‘90s Rom-Coms feat. Lots of Lies: Mystery Date (1991) + The Pallbearer (1996)

In Mystery Date (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Ethan Hawke and Teri Polo get set up on a blind date that gets so bizarre and crime-y I’m not sure how this didn’t come out in the ‘80s. In The Pallbearer (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), David Schwimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow try to combine The Graduate with Four Weddings and a Funeral in a story about lost twentysomethings. If you don’t like rom-coms in which circumstances depend on lots of lies and misunderstandings, these won’t be your jam, but if you’re like me and don’t mind these somewhat-cliché devices, you’ll be hooked by likeable casts and plenty of rom and com.

2. The Tomorrow War (2021)

I thought of no fewer movies than this list while watching: Alien, Aliens, Angel Has Fallen, Cloverfield, Interstellar, Kong: Skull Island, Prometheus, A Quiet Place: Part II, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith, The Silence of the Lambs, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and World War Z. And you know what? I like all those movies! (Okay, maybe I just have a healthy respect/fear of The Silence of the Lambs.) The Tomorrow War may not be original, but it borrows some of the best tropes and beats from the sci-fi and action genres, so much so I wish I could’ve seen Chris Pratt and Co. fight those gross monsters on a big screen. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

3. Dream a Little Dream (1989)

My July pick for the Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! I CANNOT explain the mechanics of this body switch comedy to you—nor can the back of the DVD case above—but, boy, what an ‘80s MOOD. I did not know I needed to see a choreographed dance routine starring Jason Robards and Corey Feldman, but I DID. All I know is some movies are made for me and that I’m now a card-carrying member of the Two Coreys fan club. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

4. Black Widow (2021)

The braids! The Pugh! Black Widow worked for me both as an exciting action adventure and as a respite from the Marvel adventures dependent on a long memory of the franchise. (Well, mostly—keep reading for a second MCU rec much more dependent on the gobs of previous releases.) Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

5. Liar Liar (1997)

Guys, Jim Carrey is hilarious. That’s it—that’s the review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Sob Rock by John Mayer (2021)

It’s very possible I’ve already listened to this record more than all other John Mayer records. It doesn’t surpass the capital-G Greatness of Continuum, but it’s a little bit of old school Mayer, a little bit ‘80s soft rock/pop, and I’ve had it on repeat most of the two weeks since it’s been out. Featuring the boppiest bop that ever bopped, at least one lyrical gem in every track, and an ad campaign focused on Walkmans, this record skirts the line between Crowd faves and Critic-worthy musicianship.

7. Double Feature – ‘00s Ben Affleck Political Thrillers: The Sum of All Fears (2002) + State of Play (2009)

In The Sum of All Fears (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), Ben Affleck is Jack Ryan caught up in yet another international incident. In State of Play (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), he’s a hotshot Congressman caught up in a scandal. Both are full of plot twists and unexpected turns, and in both, Affleck is accompanied by actors you’re always happy to see, like Jason Bateman, James Cromwell, Russell Crowe, Jeff Daniels, Viola Davis, Morgan Freeman, Philip Baker Hall, David Harbour, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren, Liev Schreiber, and Robin Wright—yes, I swear all of those people are in just those two movies.

8. Loki (2021-)

Unlike Black Widow, you can’t go into Loki with no MCU experience. The show finds clever ways to nudge us with reminders (and did better at it than Falcon and the Winter Soldier), but be forewarned that at some point, you’re just going to have to let go and accept wherever this timeline-hopper is taking you. An ever-charismatic cast keeps us grounded (Owen Wilson, Jonathan Majors, and an alligator almost steal the show from Tom Hiddleston in some eps), but while Falcon lasted an episode or two too long, Loki could’ve used a few more to flesh out its complicated plot and develop its characters. Thankfully, the jokes matter almost as much as the sci-fi, so you can still have fun even if you have no idea what’s going on.

9. Double Feature – Bruce Willis: Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995) + The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Before Bruce Willis began starring in many random direct-to-DVD movies I only ever hear about in my Redbox emails, he was a Movie Star smirking his way up the box office charts. In the third Die Hard (Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), he teams up with Samuel L. Jackson to decipher the riddles of a terrorist madman (Jeremy Irons), and it’s a thrill ride. In The Whole Nine Yards (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), he’s hitman that screws up dentist Matthew Perry’s boring life in Canada, and—aside from one frustrating scene of let’s-objectify-women-style nudity—it’s hilarious.

10. This Is the End (2013)

On paper, this is not a movie for me. An irreverent stoner comedy about a bunch of bros partying it up before the end of the world? None of things are for Taylors. But with a little help of a TV edit to pare down the raunchy and crude bits, I laughed my way through and spent the next several days thinking through its exploration of what makes a good person. While little of the plot is accurate to Christian Gospel and theology, some of its big ideas are consistent enough with the themes of the book of Revelation I found myself thinking about it again in church this morning. (Would love to know if Seth Rogen ever expected that.) Plus, I love a good self-aware celebrity spoof—can’t tell you how many times I’ve just laughed remembering the line, “It’s me, Jonah Hill, from Moneyball”—and an homage to horror classics. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

July Critic Picks

1. Summer of Soul (…or, When the Television Could Not Be Televised) (2021)

Even director Questlove didn’t know about the Harlem Cultural Festival, but now he’s compiled the footage so we can all enjoy one of the coolest music fest lineups ever, including The 5th Dimension, B.B. King, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Nina Simone, Sly and the Family Stone, and Stevie Wonder, who made my friend’s baby dance more than once in the womb. See it on the big screen for top-notch audio. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Robin Williams takes on the bureaucracy, disillusionment, and malaise of the Vietnam War with comedy. Williams was a one-of-a-kind talent, and here it’s on display at a level on par with Aladdin. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. Against the Rules Season 2 (2020-21)

Michael Lewis (author of Moneyball, adapted into a film starring Jonah Hill), is interested in how we talk about fairness. This season he looks at how coaches impact fairness in areas like college admissions, credit cards, and youth sports. 

4. Bugsy Malone (1976)

A gangster musical starring only children? It’s a little like someone just picked ideas out of a hat, but somehow it works. You can hear why in the Bugsy Malone episode Kyla and I released this month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, plus how this weird artifact of a film connects with Gilmore Girls.

5. The Queen (2006)

Before The Crown, Peter Morgan wrote The Queen, focusing on Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) in the days following the death of Princess Diana. It’s a complex and compassionate drama, both for the Queen and for Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen, who has snuck up on me to become a favorite character actor). Maybe I’ve got a problem, but I’ll never tire of the analysis of this famous family. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

6. The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972)

This month at ZekeFilm, we took a closer look at Revisionist Westerns we’ve missed. I fell hard for Roy Bean, and I think you will, too, if for no other reason than you might like a story starring Jacqueline Bisset, Ava Gardner, John Huston, Paul Newman, and Anthony Perkins. Oh, and a bear! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

7. New Trailer Round Up

Naked Singularity (Aug. 6) – John Boyega in a crime thriller!

Queenpins (Aug. 10) – A crime comedy about extreme coupon-ing!

Dune (Oct. 1) – I’ve been cooler on the anticipation for this film, but this new look has me cautiously intrigued thanks to the Bardem + Bautista + Brolin + Chalamet + Ferguson + Isaac + Momoa + Zendaya of it all.

The Last Duel (Oct. 15) – Affleck! Damon! Driver!

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (Nov. 11) - I’m not sure why we need this, but I’m down for the Paul Rudd + Finn Wolfhard combo

King Richard (Nov. 19) - Will Smith as Venus and Serena’s father!

Encanto (Nov. 24) – Disney and Lin-Manuel Miranda making more magic together!

House of Gucci (Nov. 24) - Gaga! Pacino! Driver! 

Also in July…

Kyla and I took a look at the classic supernatural soap Dark Shadows and why Sookie might be obsessed with it on Gilmore Girls.

I revisited a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece that’s a surrealist dream even Fellini couldn’t have cooked up. Yes, for ZekeFilm I wrote about the Vanilla Ice movie, Cool as Ice, which is now a part of my Blu-ray collection.

Photo credits: Against the Rules. All others IMDb.com.

[everchased]

You got a fix rec list stashed somewhere? And please may we browse it also as well?

..... you know I meant fic rec list right.... damned autocorrect...

LMAO i do not have a list! but i suppose i can make one up of 10 of my fave jm fics (hope you like scottish safehouse fic and hurt/comfort sdlgkhlkh) in no particular order let’s gO

ceylon, assam, and darjeeling by @odetoviscera

s1-4 fic. Jon willingly brings forth the Watcher’s Crown AU. 

i love the way it’s written, i love the use of formatting as a story-telling tool, i love the abstract visualizations, and it had enough of an effect on me that i’d give it considerable credit for getting me fully into the fandom at all.

Good Omens/The Magnus Archives series by @bibliocratic

s4/crossover fic. A certain angel and demon get imagined in the Magnus Institute world and team up with a certain archivist and assistant. Statement format.

i don’t usually like explicitly web!martin content but this series makes me go fucking bonkers. it’s so good i could scream, and it’s so unique i haven’t found anything quite like it since.

It Serenely Disdains to Destroy Us by @trillgutterbug

s3 fic. Jon has to live at Martin’s flat for a little bit. Heartache ensues.

HIGH ON THE LIST OF FICS THAT MAKE YOU FUCKING YEARN. it’s from martin’s pov and it’s so sad (but also satisfyingly spooky) to watch jon’s descent from the outside.

an oath, a promise, a vow series by @ostentenacity

ep 160 fic. Jon and Martin run off to Scotland and for a brief bit, they’re happy.

martin getting the appreciation and reciprocation he deserves! also the first fic is 5+1 and i always find those really endearing.

Interlude by @smallhorizons

s3 fic. What if Georgie and Martin met prior to season four AU.

hey,, i really miss georgie and i miss her and jon getting along and this is all of that plus a little good awkward martin-jon interaction goodness and i’m here for it.

If The Archivist Had Been Meant To Fly.... by @angel-ascending

monster!jon/Archivist AU. Becoming the Archive causes some very drastic changes in Jon that have to be wrestled with.

wing fic wing fic wing fic. monster jon is good. monster jon that gets pulled back to humanity by martin is very good.

At the Interim series by @rendherring

ep 160-s5 fic. Jon and Martin fight the Lonely and their own more personal traumas with the power of love. Nsfw.

single chapter fics that don’t read like single chapter fics, excellently portrayed characters and really immersive writing of atmosphere in scenes. and. y’know. if... i’m going to read porn, i prefer it with a lot of plot build up and that’s what i get here.

I look into your eyes, we stand worlds apart by @thunderfcknroad

AU where Jon is a sailor and Martin is a sea ghost.

ya love to see fic that you know was properly researched, and the use of shanties sold me before i even made it all the way through the story.

hello my old heart by @thedistortion

ep 160 fic. Jon and Martin flee London and finally have some time together to process.

sometimes i just need to read about these two damaged people being domestic and communicating and trying to be human despite it all, idk idk. 

and sliding in at number 10 cuz i LIED but also i didn’t because it’s still technically jonmartin just make it poly:

Illicio by @that-one-girl-behind-you

s4/Gerry Lives AU fic. Gerry is brought back to life as an incentive from the Eye to get Jon to cooperate. Currently Ongoing.

seeing the hypothetical of “what if gerry was there to help the archive staff” makes me so happy. and so sad. and so... worried. it’s SO good

[lyrebirdswrites]

hello finn!! 💖💞💗 i was wondering, in a non-spoilery way, who your fave jjk characters are and why?

hi mariam!! 💖💞💗

This is such a predictable basic answer but I really love the main characters. No surprise picks here lol. first year trio my beloved...

I’ll start with Yuuji because he’s the protagonist. The best boy. First in my heart. The reasons I love him can be neatly summarized in this lil amv which is basically a compilation of all his best and cutest expressions. Look me in the eyes after watching that and tell me he’s not the most lovable thing about this whole series. You can’t do it. He’s literally so lovable what the hell

Jokes aside, the thing that draws me to Yuuji is just how unshakably kind he is. It’s in the name, Yuuji means unwavering humanity. Like Panda said during the goodwill arc, he inspires everyone around him by being this one bright point in what is established in canon as a pretty miserable way of life. He has this sensitivity and selflessness and emotional intelligence about him that is pretty rare among male protagonists imo, and he’s always trying so hard to do the right thing and do right by others even when it comes to combat and death. When he gets hurt and endures suffering (eg when he failed to save Junpei), he still does his best to keep his heart open and stay true to his principles, I find that really admirable. Also the fact that his execution is set out as a real possibility at the start of the story makes everything about him more dear to me... characters who are living on borrowed time mess me up. Not to use a meme from 2014 but Yuuji is honestly a cinnamon roll too good to pure for the jujutsu world and I love him.

Megumi!! I know I said Yuuji was best boy, but Megumi is also best boy first in my heart. They’re both best boys. Best boys together. Best boyfriends, if you will

 It’s hard to put my finger on exactly why I adore him to such a degree, especially in a non spoilery way. He seems kind of gruff and standoffish but he gets embarrassed super easily... he considers himself to be sensible and serious but he shares one braincell with the rest of the trio... he looks like a standard emo shonen rival but he turns out to be so supportive and such a genuine good friend. He’s got depth, he’s got layers. Like an onion. I do think he shines brightest when he’s acting as a foil to Yuuji. It’s so fascinating to me how they seek the same goals but they learn different lessons and take different roads to get there, and how even with their differing outlooks they still hold a deep respect for each other’s approaches. All the time I think about that one interview calling him the heroine of the story, I’m just gonna link it because I won’t be able to summarize it succinctly. Megumi steals the show for me every scene he’s in, particularly during the Origin of Obedience arc, and my affection for him knows no bounds.

And of course I must express my undying and eternal love for Nobara. I know this is breaking the rules again but Nobara is ALSO first in my heart... the undisputed best girl of the series. “I love myself when I’m all dressed up and pretty and I love myself when I’m strong, I’m Kugisaki Nobara” hello??? “You’re a bad match for me” HELLO??? She’s so iconic, and as much as I like softer feminine female characters with inner strength, I lose my mind whenever Nobara gets the chance to be snappy and aggressive and totally unhinged. I love it when shonens let their female characters be actual people.

But also underneath all that Nobara is still really caring and so ride or die for her friends, and it honestly melts my heart.  Her little speech to Yuuji about how she only has so many seats free in her heart but that some people like him just bring their own chair and sit down... there’s a post saying this is maybe the sweetest way op has ever heard someone say ‘I care about you’ and I agree. It’s such a wonderful little moment that says so much about her character and her friendship with the boys. I love it when shonens let their main trio be actual friends. Anyway words cannot describe the depth of my love for best girl Nobara, Queen Of Shonen Jump (she shares the crown with Power from chainsaw man tee hee).

Gojou and Getou are definitely on my list of top faves too, but literally every single thing that really sells me on both their characters is a massive manga spoiler so I won’t elaborate there. Just know that I love them.

[kaahaani]

I cannot believe TPC has ended…I need a moment…because I am crying like it was my babies that had their first birthday party and are growing up too fast. This one’s gonna be long SO BUCKLE UP BITCHHHH.

The first part being Lady Noh’s POV had me catching feelings. I love her so much and the way she thought about the past and the present to tie up the last chapter. I HATE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS SHIT LIKE HOWWWWWWWW EVEN. You know makes me really sad…thinking that as both Gon and Taeeul get older that Lady Noh is also getting older and might just not be around one day. MAKE HER IMMORTAL PLEASE?

INNA WALKED THIS LITTLE DRAMA QUEEN JUST UP AND WENT “I CAN DO THIS NOW BITCHES”. Loved how you explained the first birthday party and the traditions, Inna picking out the crown like the queen she is along with an airplane – JETSETTING FUTURE VIBES. The way you write these babies make me want to have 100 of them, she picked up food and fed it to her brother? I knew Dahn would pick out a book but they money was a nice touch esp w. him giving it to Nana based on what you have him do as an adult…once again bitch your brain!

NANA AND DAHN WALKIGN AROUND THAT VIDEO KILLED ME THEY DO LOOK LIKE LITTLE DRUNK PEOPLE WHEN THEY WALK AHAHAHAHA THEY STOLE HER TAMPON BOX I LOVE THESE KIDS AND THE SLIPPER. I love how soft and cute LG and JTE are with each other and they still bicker so cutely GOALS AS F I FEEL SINGLE AGAIN

That video of them dancing and the clip of Gon and Taeeul dancing killed me. I AM WRITING THIS FROM MY GRAVE. The thought of the four of them just walking through the palace…the little drunk people walk and the way Gon and Taeeul are probably walking behind them kills me also. LOL LOL LOL LADY NOH LETTING THE PRINCESS JUST CALL HER “NOH” I AM SO DEAD

The feeding scene killed me…I really enjoyed all the feeding and bath time scenes idk why its so domestic and makes me feel so single

ROFLLLLLLL YEONG FAINTED AGAIN I LOVE IT ITS LIKE A FULL CIRCLE AHHHHHHH THE MIDWIFE POV IS BACK AGAIN I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. The labour chapter was my fave because of the way she viewed the king and queen and to hear her talk about them again and also talk about Yeong and Seungah along with their baby was so perf. AWWWW THESE TWO BRO-HOES GOING THROUGH THE SAME “YOU’RE MY ONLY FRIEND” THING

LOL NANA SNIFFING THE BABY IS SO CUTE AND THE “soft pat pat” BITCH WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHTTTTTT TO BE THIS CUTE AND DAHN BEING GENTLE WITHOUT BEING TOLD ITS SO CUTEEEE

THAT ENDING WAS PERFECT AND MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LOVE YOU BUT I HATE YOU FOR ENDING THIS WRITE THEM MORE.

I stopped and composed myself so I could make some sense when I tell you that I love TPC so much, the whole Happily Ever After series is cannon in my head. I remember back in the summer when you said that you had all these ideas about their kids and I was amazed by all the ideas. The Royal Family edit was so fun to make with you and it’s amazing how I can ACTUALLY see these babies grow up to be the adults you picked. Nana being a fashionista and exactly like Gon, Dahn being the calm sarcastic one, and their friendship with Chinhae. In my head, this is cannon. I can’t think about LG and JTE having any other children, it’s always gonna be Nana, Dahn and whatever cute nickname you give Seojoon. Thank you so much for this you fluff-smut hoe, stay writing always!

Oh hi again! Yes, TPC is over, it's done. I also cried and I miss writing them already. Glad you liked Lady Noh's POV but WHY would you say that you bitch, now I am crying. She will be immortal forever.

In-Na is always gonna be a drama queen! Thank you, I am glad you liked the birthday part! LOL, don't have a 100 babies...that's just not normal. Maybe like 1-7? Thank you for being so sweet ahhhh. Lmao, the Preity Zinta gif. I love her.

I love that video so much, they're so cute! I dieeeeee! Aw, thank you, I am glad you liked that part. Ew Ross Geller, I hate him.

I was like doing an evil laugh while editing that clip because I want to see in real life. Sigh. I also died. LOL, LG is probably like "wow she can call you just Noh" but it's so cute I can't!

I love how everyone liked the feeding and bath scenes, they were fun to write! Lmao, yes, I thought it would be a nice closing to make him faint again, I love the thought of it idk why. Aw, thank you, the labor chapter is my fave too! Lmao, "bro-hoes", I can't with you! Hehehe, the babies make me soft it's not even me.

Noooooo, Beaaaaaa why are you being so nice?! I cannot with you. Thank you so much for your kid words and for listening to all the weird ideas and for all the help from finding the babies to the edits and being my soundboard. I love youuuu! <3

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 11 In the Mountains of Sweetness

Requiem 

The Rocks family is on the run but they’re also in mourning. As they sail up the Cola River, they stop to do repairs to the ship and pay their respects to Jet at a bright pink hill under a tree--her final resting place.

The remaining kids are in opposite worlds emotionally speaking--Liam is fully sobbing (which we find out later is largely him still being messed up over Preston) while Ruby is hollow and bitter. Amethar (after almost murdering a Jellybean farmer with poor timing who wanders onto the scene) eulogizes about how much Jet taught all of them (including that “to defeat monsters you must become one” which mmm don’t love where his head is at; also, Brennan says he seems to almost have this new sobriety which I think, mechanically, is him having taken a level of Battlemaster Fighter). 

Cara, also a wreck as you’d expect, wonders if Jet died thinking she didn’t love her and wishes Jet would have just listened to her--something that Ruby takes as blaming Jet for her own death, causing her to stalk off. Cara is too in her grief to really react but Theo goes after her. As he does, Cumulous notices that, for a split second, Ruby’s shadow seemed to be out of sync with her actions. But only for a second. 

When Theo catches up to her, Ruby gets really upset and says that she blames her parents, Lazuli, and herself for Jet’s death. Theo says that Jet wouldn’t have blamed her and that she died in battle, like she wanted. Even still, Ruby doesn’t know how she’s going to go on without her. Theo says that he takes comfort in Lazuli’s research and the thought that Jet might not be truly gone. She could be around and protecting them right now. “She was always protecting us,” Ruby says before mind-hopping into Yak and flying above the ship so she doesn’t have to deal with her emotions for the moment.

Once she’s gone, Theo breaks down for a second and then summons Sprinkle...to dismiss him. He tells Sprinkle he’s done a great job but he needs to go back where he came from and have Jet send a new familiar as a sign. Sprinkle tearfully leaves and, almost immediately (which is not how the spell traditionally works btw) a Black Licorice viper shows up which Theo names Princess and which bites him for no reason. Feels right.

Back at the grave-site, Cara starts to walk away but Amethar catches her and leads her back to the ship. They run into Theo and when she sees him with his new familiar, she goes off on him: Oh Jet is watching over us? Who was watching over her? And don’t think I don’t know about your crush on Lazuli. I have one daughter left. You think you can do a better job at protecting her? That kind of thing. She goes to board the ship but Amethar stays behind saying he’ll be with her in a minute, something that made *me* feel like I was about to get chewed out by Amethar’s wife.

Liam remembers that Cal--the traitor--saved Jack and Brie and decides to (as he is wont to do) ask about it in the clumsiest way possible. Jack says that they didn’t meet up with Cal on purpose or anything--they just happened to stumble across him and, now that he thinks about it, it was weirdly easy the way Cal got them through enemy lines and stuff. He seems pretty on the level so Liam does his Ranger thing to check for danger while they’re docked.

Back with Theo and Amethar, Theo says he’s fine so Amethar catches up with Cara and says that she can’t turn on Theo like that. They don’t have a lot of allies left. On a dirty 20 Persuasion check, we are spared the marital spat of a lifetime and instead she just presses herself against him and he brings her into a hug.

Sweet Life on Deck*

*I knew I’d get to use it eventually!

The next day, as they set sail, Cara apologizes to Theo for taking her grief out on him and he’s very gracious about it--also assuring her that he doesn’t hate her for winning Lazuli’s affections as she suggested nor does he have a crush on her--he just strongly believes in her ideals.

Cumulous finds Ruby to have a chat with her about his favorite topic (well second fave after magical items)--death. Ruby says that, with Jet dead, all she cares about is revenge and that she’s dead inside. Cumulous, who clearly doesn’t have Inspiring Speech on his character sheet (or, if he does, learned from Kristen), rambles about death for a bit before saying that though they’ll all die eventually, she doesn’t have to die yet and gives Ruby his necklace from Lazuli. She pockets it and walks away.   

Liam, with his Ranger senses, knows they’re being followed but also knows that they have the jump on them so they shouldn’t have a problem staying ahead. Jack and Amethar have a heart to heart wherein Jack blames himself for spilling the beans about Ghee and Amethar says it’s not his fault. They reaffirm that they’re in it together for the long haul. 

In the night, Liam has an intense dream involving familiar snarling, heat, smoke, chocolate, and cinnamon. Ruby wakes up in the middle of the night with Lazuli’s necklace glowing a little bit. The glow fades and then she notices, like Cumulous did, that her shadow is a little off--but it quickly corrects itself. All messed up, she goes onto the deck and finds that she can suddenly see perfectly in the dark. And, on a Nat 20 Perception check, she sees that the eye of the Lazuli necklace is a little creased, like it has smile lines. It glows brightly and casts her shadow on the wall--except it’s not the shadow she should have. It looks like her except the hair--the hair is in a long braid. Ruby presses her forehead against the forehead of the shadow and finds that it’s warm. And, as she does so, she fully breaks down for the first time since Jet’s death and the shadow does so alongside her. (Mechanically speaking, Ruby took a level of Shadow Sorcerer).

In the morning they dock, having gotten as far up the river as the ship can take them. It’s a long trip to the mountains and Muffinfield--Cal’s territory--is in their path. They have the option to go through the town fully, take the more off the beaten path route, or a little of both but either way it’s gonna take at least a full week (and up to three if they fully avoid the town). They decide to take the hybrid route which takes them into Muffinfield to begin with. It’s a rich province and very Bulbian. Tons of Imperial guards, tons of churches, and, in fact, they see a church putting on one of those puppet show/morality plays. Amethar makes the, mmm, unwise decision to check it out and sees that it’s a play about the Rocks family, depicting him as a horny lout, Cara as an airheaded bimbo, and the twins as feral bastards. Ruby sets the puppets on fire and Amethar hustles her away before she can do something more rash.

After that, they get to the woods--staying for a night with a lady so old and out of touch that she doesn’t even know that Amethar’s dad isn’t king anymore. Theo thanks Liam for saving Jet’s body and they bond over how much rage they have over, like, everything that's happened.

The Gang Gets Scooped

When they get back on the road (with some not so hot stealth checks), they see a little gingerbread guy in a Peter Pan cap who’s trying to pull his friend out from under a rock. Theo, knight to his core, rushes to help but Liam, who’s on the warpath, decides to shoot him. An insane course of action but he’s not wrong because a net captures both Theo and the gingerbread man and this turns out to be an ambush. The “friend” was a doll and the Gingerbread man (Swifty is his name) pulls a lollipop shiv on Theo because of course. When Theo says he’s not pro-Bulb, Swifty calls for Gooey--the chief marauder who is this buff warrior woman with half her face melted (like melted chocolate) like she was badly burned. She and this chocolate viking dude (Jon Bon) discuss whether they should take the group to the queen, which they decide to do, shackling everyone (though Liam and Ruby successfully conceal their thieves' tools in their hands for a later escape). At the mention of the queen, the assembled marauders start chanting “Long live the queen”--harkening back to the mountain gratifi from two episodes ago. They take them to their secret hideout in the mountains while Swifty runs ahead to let them know they’re coming. 

All their captors are Candian but they’re all deformed in some way and/or have old Sucrosi tattoos and Sweetening Path stuff, ears of Ceresians/Vegetanians on necklaces (EARS BRENNAN?), and defiled Bulbian relics. They’re from all over but they seem like they’ve been living this life for years.

The hideout is kinda built into the cliff side and it has this big rock outside like the standing stones the SPF has (menhir is the technical term).  It’s also covered in a layer of snow and very cold. Magical light is glowing as they pass through the entrance. Cumulous can feel very powerful magic at work. There’s a ton of ceremony and fanfare and chanting in advance of the queen’s arrival--these people seem to really love their queen, and so do we because out comes Queen Saccharina Frostwhip aka, Emily’s new character (aka Rina because I’m not typing that every time)! 

She is this extremely cool (in both senses of the word) ice-cream sorcerer with a magic staff (Winterscoop) and two swords and is majorly serving sweet but frosty-cool energy. Liam and Ruby spring everyone from their chains and Rina aggressively sweetly says that she would have freed them soon enough. She calls herself the legal ruler of Candia and when Cara questions that she says that she has another last name: Ghee. Amethar, is like, “Oh shit,” but she says that she’s not here to force a relationship on him, she just thinks they can all be useful to each other, especially since she’s the legal heir as the child of his legal marriage and someone not in open rebellion with the Concord. Theo is like, “That all checks out.” He asks Amethar if this is actually his kid and he sees in Rina Ghee’s eyes and his own swagger. Yeah, that’s his kid. In turn, she recognizes Cumulous as a monk of the Order of the Spinning Star. She, like half the party it feels--is a huge Lazuli stan, can feel her magic on him, and believes in her mission. She says she’s seen Lazuli in her dreams when she was little and Cumulous in her sees someone who can, in a lot of ways, take up Lazuli’s mantle and start rebuilding Candian magic rather than just doing triage like the monks have been. He bows to her. Ruby is not having any of this though and says that Rina isn’t her sister or her queen.

Theo asks Princess if they should trust her--she’s saying all the right things but he’s wary--and gets a bite which tells him nothing.

Ice Feast

Rina, upon being told special guests were coming, had a feast prepared which is described as Robin Hood-y. Amethar is like, “This is cool but the Bulbian church is literally trying to kill us so maybe we focus on that?” Rina says that that works for her. All Amethar has to do is recognize her as his daughter and heir and everything will be square--if the church wants to go after them at that point, they’ll have to break their own rules. Ruby, who’s still being obstinate says that it won’t work because she’s clearly a heretic with an allegiance to the Sweetening Path but Rina says and Jack confirms that as long as you kiss the ring in public, no one really cares what you do on your home turf. 

Ruby accuses her of not knowing what she’s talking about because she’s been hidden away her whole life and Rina shoots back (still smiling) that she’s actually been traveling the world, building her followers from scratch which she had to do because she came from nothing. Amethar (who’s in the, I would have to imagine, pretty novel position of watching his daughters fight) breaks it up. Cara--who fully hates that not only is this happening, it’s also their best shot--takes Ruby with her to have their meal somewhere else and Ruby, who has found someone to hate more than her mom, willingly goes. 

Rina has a sidebar with Amethar where she apologizes for popping up randomly and upsetting his entire family. She always wanted to meet them and she’s sorry that these are the circumstances. Amethar says that it’s not her fault--they’ve just been through a hell of a lot lately and they’re kind of emotionally spent but she’s actually a huge asset to them politically right now and he’s sure that once things are calm, things will be different on the relationship front. 

Ruby can’t believe Cara is taking all of this lying down and Cara (who is full John Mulaney, “This might as well happen,”) says she can’t remember the last time she had a handle on her life which is news to Ruby who thought she *was* the handle. Cara hits her with the unfortunate truth that no one--least of all kings and queens--knows what they’re doing or can really control it. All she can control is what she’s doing next which is having a bath. Ruby decides to, instead, cast Invisibility and look around for anything suspicious. 

After seeing a bunch of stolen loot, weapons, and Candian artifacts it seems like Rina’s trying to preserve, she eventually finds Rina in her quarters. On a 25 Perception to Ruby’s 24 Stealth, Rina clocks her and whispers, “I’m not here to take your family, little sister. I look forward to the day that we are friends.” Ruby, channeling Adaine in a big way, flips invisible double middle fingers. 

Cumulous is in another room, just fanboy happy-crying over all of Rina’s magic stuff in some of the funniest scenes Zac has ever done which is saying a lot. I cannot overstate how funny Zac crying over an imaginary ring pop is.  

Theo also finds Rina and asks about her visions of Lazuli. She says it happened when she was very young and her powers were just manifesting. She was in a place where magic wasn’t supported and the connection was all but beaten out of her. But she can also sense Lazuli’s presence in Theo. Ruby, still invisible, pipes up that she sees Lazuli too so she’s not special and Rina shoots back that she can also see Ruby while invisible, which is pretty special. This dissolves into a little sibling spat which Rina says she enjoys because she’s never had a sister to fight with before. The comment sets off Ruby again who says she already had a sister and she’s dead and she can’t replace her. She runs off.

Theo and Rina speak a little more and she reveals that she doesn’t really care about the throne. She just cares about bringing back magic and destroying the church (which means she’ll fit right in with the rest of the fam--not really wanting the throne and plotting against the church. The family business). 

After the feast, Gooey brings out the war maps (moving the Jawbreaker flag away from Castle Manylicks and deeper into the mountain and putting an ice cream cone flag deep into the mountains) and a bunch of magic tomes which Rina starts reading. Ruby notices that a lot of the tomes are written in Lazuli’s hand, she had a way to tap into the SPF’s runes, and that she wrote some kind of warning about the SPF--Lazuli did not trust or revere the SPF. Liam sees a book with the same ice cream symbol as the flag on the map and it’s a book of lost beast lore--including an ancient spirit described on pages scented like cinnamon and seemingly bound in some way (and also amongst a lot of SPF talk): Dracoria Azucar (or, Sugar Dragon). 

Anyway, Rina says that the SPF has done a lot to suppress Lazuli’s research (she’s not sure if she thinks it’s too dangerous or if she’s hoarding it or what) including taking all of her coolest relics and findings and hiding them in a frozen temple--the Ice Cream Temple. She wants to loot that temple. (Note: She also mentions that Kerradin visited her orphanage when she was little which...Bad). She’s sent raid parties who haven’t come back but they weren’t super powerful--she has a lot of angry, rescued orphans in her service. The gang more or less agrees to her plan--even Ruby reluctantly, but Ruby hears the SPF on the wind, “Things that are wrong may yet be made right. There is more than one true magician in Candia, Princess and I await your coming and will be delighted for your wish to come true.” 

A Change of Plans  

In the morning, they decide Cara will stay with Jack and the marauders while they (and some of Jack’s men) go on their mission. When Jack offhandedly says that Ghee was lovely, Rina says they had very different experiences with her. Ominous!  

Theo asks what’s going on with the Jawbreaker situation and she says that they’re in kind of a pissing contest--he won’t recognize her claim to the throne. Gooey pulls Rina aside and informs her (for the first time it seems) that Jawbreaker has left the Castle because people in the area were being tortured by Ceresian soldiers (wasn’t specified but I’m guessing Imperials) to draw him out and now he’s pinned down in the mountains. Rina (along w/ Gooey and Swifty) consider that if they help Jawbreaker, he’ll be more likely to acknowledge her claim to the throne. But, if they don’t and they let him die, Liam will be heir and he’s already on Team Rina. In the end, she decides to tell the group and they are keen on rescuing Jawbreaker--even though Liam is concerned because he knows his dad will never give up the throne. 

Everyone seems pretty gung ho about this except for Ruby who is like, “Hello we’re super outnumbered.” Cara has a solution to that however. She’s been up all night reading Lazuli’s books and she thinks she can bamf them past enemy lines if they can get to the nearby Spinning Star monastery. She can get them back too but because there’s not a teleportation circle where they’re going, she has to basically do the magical equivalent of holding her breath or remembering a really long series of numbers while they get in and get out. They won’t have much time.

They go to the monastery (where Rina’s anti-monarchical sentiments wins her another new fan in another monk named Snicker-Snack because sure) and Cumulous kills a chicken for that sweet temp HP. Cara says, “Lazuli, please help me get this right,” before performing her magic and sending them all to a dark, locked, musty building. They can hear Ceresian soldiers shouting outside--and that’s where we end our episode! 

Note: You can find the art for the new characters this episode on the D20 tumblr here! Once again, Samir is coming for some of y’all specifically with some of these designs.

Things I’m Concerned About

I’m gonna separate my thoughts on Rina across these two sections because my thoughts are hard in separate directions. I *love* Rina but I have to be honest with myself and say that if she was an NPC, I fully wouldn’t trust her. She comes in at the exact right time saying all the right things and coming with a major plot solution. She says she doesn’t care about the throne and she only wants to destroy the church (something that would make sense considering the backstory hints the dropped) and we haven’t had PvP before but like...if there was a season to do it...listen, I want her to just be this cool orphan who sincerely wants justice and a relationship with her dad and sister if that’s on the table but I’m just keeping my eye on her. (Also, when Gooey pulled her aside to have that troop movement convo I feared it was going to go in a much more suspicious direction.)

There’s a part that I kinda glossed over where Brennan says Manta Ray Jack looked at Rina “bashfully” and Rina took it as, “He’s gonna ask me out,” and rebuffed his advances. I feel like that’s not what that was about. That doesn’t mean it’s anything actively bad--maybe him remembering her mom?--but idk, I don’t like feeling like I’m missing something.

Oh, and speaking of her mom? Rina saying he had a different experience of her mom than she did combined with Rina saying her connection to Lazuli was “all but beaten out of her” plus the out of game knowledge that something related to child neglect happens in a few eps that’s so bad that Brennan hurt himself...It paints a Bad picture.

Once again, I am Concerned about everything going on with the SPF. What did she mean there’s more than one magician? Was she referring to Ruby? Does she want Ruby to PvP Rina? She better not. 

Little concerned about Annabelle’s side mission to find Ghee. I was before but now I am even more. 

Five A Few More Things

I want to believe that Jet is both partially inhabiting Princess and doing the Shadow Sorc thing with Ruby. The Pontifex works hard but Jet Rocks works harder. 

OK, let’s talk about what I call The Inherent Tragedy of Saccharina Frostwhip (*such* a good name, btw). If Ruby and Jet had met Rina *together* (either during peace times or having rolled a high enough Insight check to clock her as an ally during the present events) they would have loved her completely immediately. She’s got Cool Big Sister written all over her: cool design, martial prowess and magic, anti-monarchy and anti-Bulbian Church BUT willing to take the throne in their stead. They would have LOVED her. BUT, Rina wasn’t an NPC. She was Emily’s backup character. Which means that, because of the way our world bisects the world of Candia, there is never a world where Jet is alive while Rina comes into play. That’s tragic, man. That’s the worst. And when I say that’s the worst, I mean the best. This makes for such delicious story. You guys know I’m a full sucker for sister stuff. Which we were already getting but this is *complicated* sister stuff which we all know is better. Like, if this is where we’re starting emotionally, do you know good it’s gonna hit if Ruby eventually comes around on her? Siobhan and Emily are catering to me specifically this season.

Also, that reveal? Within like five minutes, my theory that “the Queen” in question was Amethar’s first kid was confirmed, my circa episode 3 prediction that a twin would die and come back as Amethar’s first kid was confirmed, AND my prediction from last episode that the SPF was telling a technical truth about Ruby finding her sister was confirmed. (Literal) sweet vindication! Can I do lotto numbers? No. But plot points for a Candy/GoT mashup? I’m your gal. 

Lol at someone mentioning Ghee as Amethar’s wife with Cara standing right there and Amethar fully WWE bodyslaming that dude with tag-teams for the entire family.

People are saying it seems like Rina is a Storm Sorcerer which would be cool seeing as Amethar is a Storm Herald Barbarian. Family parallels even without really knowing each other.  

Cara--who better survive this or I will Riot--needs like a 6 month spa trip after this is over. What she is dealing with right now is untenable and she is handling it much better than I would be honestly. (But also her, “lol, my life is in shambles,” to Liam’s inappropriate question that didn’t even really register to her at that point was another comedy highlight of the ep. Icon, even in mourning.) 

Lazuli might as well be a PC for how important she is to this campaign. 

Ooooh, Sugar Dragon for Liam? Brennan has outdone himself. (Unless Liam is gonna have to fight the Sugar Dragon which I am also super down for. As I was just discussing, there are never enough dragons in D&D for a game that’s half named after them).

Shout out to this post for making me short circuit for a full second. Ow. 

It’s a little funny that Brennan laid the groundwork for Emily’s background character in the middle of the episode he knew was gonna end with him trying to kill them. Like, OK, your future is secure, now time to destroy your present!

[strangeandforlornbooks]

best books with morally ambiguous narrators!

all y’all’s problematic faves and villains! :) also included are third person narrators but in books with morally ambiguous leads/themes 

Sci-fi

Scythe by Neal Shusterman: in a future free from pain, disease, and war, people can live forever. ‘scythes’ are given the power to decide who lives and who dies to preserve the balance. sad and kinda gives of hunger games vibes, if you like that.

Neuromancer by William Gibson: basically invented the cyberpunk genre. strange and removed protagonists. (a team of computer hackers have to face off against an evil AI). you kind of dislike everyone and suddenly you’re crying over them. one of those trippy sci-fi classics.

The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut: very beautiful and very very sad (same author as slaughterhouse five). the richest man in america has to face a martian invasion. more about free will and bad people doing good things than a plot that makes any kind of sense.

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick: set in an alternate universe where the germans and japanese won world war two. not really like the tv show at all- it’s not an action story, and there’s not really the hope to somehow fix the world that drives a lot of dystopia stories. instead its about how people survive and connect to one another in a hopeless society.

The Scorpion Rules by Erin Bow: a supercomputer convinces the leaders of the world to keep the peace for hundreds of years by taking their children hostage and obliterating any city that disobeys. what happens to the hostage protagonists when war seems inevitable? lots of morally fraught decisions and characters slowly losing their identity. (plus a fun lesbian romance)

Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson: a brilliant mathematician and a dedicated marine fight to keep the ultra secret in world war two. fifty years later,  a tech company discovers what remains of their story. one of the most memorable sequences in the book is a japanese soldier slowly becoming disillusioned with his nation and horrified by the war even as he continues to fight.

Blade Runner by Philip K. Dick: another one of those sci-fi classics that’s not at all like the movie. there is a bounty hunter for robots, though, as well as a weird religion that probably is referencing catholicism and a decaying society with a shortage of pets. kind of a trip.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power: girls trapped in a boarding school on an isolated island must face a creeping rot that affects the animals and plants on the island as well as their own bodies. the protagonists will do anything to survive and keep each other safe. very tense (and bonus lesbian romance whoo)

The Fifth Season by N K Jemisin: three women are gifted with the ability to control the earth’s energy in a world where those who can do so are forced into hiding or slavery. some veryyyy dark choices here but lots of strong female characters.

Historical Fiction

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters: two victorian lesbians fall in love as they plot to betray each other in horrific ways. lots of plot twists, plucky thieves, gothic settings, and a great romance.

Quo Vadis by Henryk Sienkiwicz: a powerful roman soldier in the time of Nero plots to kidnap a young woman after he falls in love with her, only to learn more about the mysterious christian religion she follows. very melodramatic but some terrific prose. 

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr: a blind girl in France and a brilliant German boy recruited by the military struggle through the chaos of the second world war. ends with a bang (iykyk.) very sad, reads like poetry.

Boxers by Gene Luen Yang: graphic novel reveals the story of a young boy fighting in the boxer rebellion in early twentieth century china. the sequel, saints, is also excellent. beautifully and sympathetically shows the protagonist’s descent into evil- the reader really understands each step along the way.

Fantasy

Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake: three triplets separated at birth, each with their own magical powers, have to fight to the death to gain the throne. lots of fun honestly

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo: everyone in these books is highly problematic but you love them all anyway. a ragtag game of criminals plan a heist on a magical fortress. some terrific tragic back stories, repressed feelings, and revenge schemes.

The Dark Tower series by Stephen King: idk how to describe these frankly but if you can put up with King’s appalling writing of female characters they’re pretty interesting. fantasy epic about saving the world/universe, sort of. cowboys and prophecies and overlapping dimensions and drug addicts galore.

The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud: lots of fun! a twelve year old decides to summon a demon for his cute lil revenge scheme. sarcastic demon narrator. lighthearted until s*** gets real suddenly.

Elegy and Swansong by Vale Aida: fantasy epic with machiavellian lesbians and enemies to lovers to enemies to ??? to lovers. charming and exciting and lovely characters.

The False Prince by Jennifer Nielsen: an orphan boy must compete with a few others for the chance to impersonate a dead prince. really dark but very tense and exciting and good twists.

The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu: fantasy epic. heroes overthrow an evil empire and then struggle as the revolution dissolves into warring factions. interesting world building and three dimensional characters, even if they only have a small part.

Circe by Madeline Miller: the story behind the witch who turns men into pigs in the odyssey. madeline miller really said, i just used my classics degree to write a beautiful gay love story and now im going to write a powerful feminist retelling because i can. queen. an amazing and satisfying book that kills me a lil bit because of the two lines referencing the song of achilles.

Heartless by Marissa Meyer: the tragic backstory for the queen of hearts in alice in wonderland. a little predictable but very fun with a compelling protagonist

A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) by George RR Martin: ok I know we all hate GRRM and rightfully so but admittedly these books do have some great characters and great scenes. they deserve better than GRRM though. also he will probably never finish the books anyway....

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket: not really fantasy but not really anything else either. plucky, intelligent, and kind children fight off evil plots for thirteen books until suddenly you realize the world is not nearly as black and white as you thought. 

Classics

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier: gothic romance!! a new wife is curious about the mysterious death of her predecessor in a creepy old house in the British countryside...good twists and lovely prose.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles: not really morally ambiguous but one awful decision suddenly has awful consequences and certain people are haunted by guilt forever.... really really really beautiful and really really really sad. boys in a boarding school grow up together under the shadow of world war two.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy: while imperial russia slowly decays a beautiful young woman begins a destructive affair. a long book. very russian. the ending is incredibly tense and well written.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding: I think you know the plot to this one. the prose is better than you remember and the last scene is always exciting.

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie: one by one, the guests on an island are slowly picked off. one of Christie’s darkest mysteries- no happy ending here! very tense and great twists.

Contemporary

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: inspired the whole dark academia aesthetic. college students get a little too into ancient greece and it does not end very well. lovely prose but I found the characters unlikable.

Honorable Mentions

The Dublin Saga by Edward Rutherford: has literally a billion protagonists, but some of them are morally ambiguous ig? follows a few families stories’ from the 400s ad to irish independence in the 20s. beautifully captures the weight and movement of irish history.

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer: how morally ambiguous can you be if you’re, like, eleven? a lot if you’re a criminal genius who wants to kidnap a fairy for your evil-ish plan apparently!

Redemption by Leon Uris: literally my favorite novel ever. the sequel to Trinity but can stand alone. various irish families struggle through the horrors of world war one. the hero isn’t really morally ambiguous, but the main theme of the novel is extremely bad people suddenly questioning their choices and eventually redeeming themselves. sweeping themes of love, screwed up families, redemption, and patriotism.

The Lymond Chronicles and House of Niccolo by Dorothy Dunnett: heroes redeem themselves/try to get rich/try to save their country in early renaissance Europe. if I actually knew what happened in these books I'm sure it would be morally ambiguous but its too confusing for me. in each book you spend at least a third convinced the protagonist is evil, though. lots of exciting sword fights, tragic romances, plot twists, and kicking english butt.

Bonus: Protagonist is less morally ambiguous and more very screwed up and sad all the time

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt: you know this one bc its quoted in all those quote compilations. basically the story of how one horrible event traumatizes a young man and how he develops a connection to a painting. really really really good.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro: hard to describe but strange... not an action novel or a dystopia really but sort of along those lines. very hopeless.

[ladyalice101]

jonsa fic recs

alright, i’ve had a couple requests for recs, so here is my list. these are all fairly recent fics, all written this year i think. all of them are from my bookmarks on ao3, but i picked the recent ones which are my god-tier recs, my oh-my-god-i-love-this-so-much-i-think-i’m-going-to-die, the ones i reread. they have very little in common, but if you don’t find anything on here that tickles your fancy, then feel free to check out my bookmarks. i have just over 100 on there, and every single one on there are fics that i think are absolutely phenomenal.

for @abi117 @why-cant-i-be-careless and @orangeflavoryawp

canon divergent

Victory by moutainsbeyondmountains. one-shot, 5489k.

“You won already, Your Grace,” Tyrion said mournfully. “Enjoy your victory. There are no lands left to conquer. And there are no more dragons.”

if you read no other fic on this list, read this one. seriously. it’s d.ny pov, and glorious. genuinely, i couldn’t give this high enough praise. i reread this A LOT. like, a lot a lot. i could probably quote this fic.

I Want Something so Impure by @asilentfrenzy. one-shot, 10166k.

“You have caused this, you and your queen. You allowed her to speak to me that way, allowed her to order my obedience in my own home as if I’m to be her new dog to train. I am the Lady of Winterfell, and your inbred aunt has no right to-”

“Aye, you are the Lady of Winterfell,” he growled, his eyes flashing with an added flame of fury at the mention of the woman’s newly found relations to him. “The same Lady of Winterfell who not too long ago advised me to be smart, yet it seems that you can’t follow your own advice.”

“Be smart,” she repeated, filling her face with a look of mocking humor. “By kneeling? By allowing her to seize my title and command my people? Perhaps I should offer her these chambers as well. Better, I’ll just offer them to you again, seeing as I’m sure you’ll be sharing a bed. Shall I fuck her as well? As I want to be just as smart as you, Jon.”

so if you couldn’t tell from the summary, this one is sassy af. it features darkish/dominant!jon, which is my jam, and is pretty much just 10k of smut, which is also my jam.

it’s a small crime, and i’ve got no excuse by mxash. 5/5, 8214k.

“did you see her?” sansa snarled, a hand come to pull at his collar, pulling his mouth down only hairs from her own. “your targaryen queen has dressed as though she was a whore to catch your eye.” jon smirked as she bit his lip. what was this? dany had almost recoiled in her disgust and shock, but she hadn’t been able to pull herself away from the horrific sight. my lover and his own sister.

this one serves some dark!jonsa realness, and it deserves more comments/kudos. it is written entirely in lowercase, but don’t let that distract you. the characters are dark, and devoted, and who doesn’t love d.ny catching jon and sansa fucking? seriously, this one is a must-read.

Dark in Bloom by @orangeflavoryawp​. oneshot, 8304k.

"His gravity wavers, the axis of his world tilted to the measure of her lips." - Jon and Sansa. The stain of desire bleeds slowly between them.

yeah orange, i’m reccing one of your own fics to you. seriously though, this is just like ... mindblowing. i cannot overstate how much i love this one. i literally will just randomly remember it sometimes, when i’m just going about my daily business, and i’m like “shit, that fic by orange was a masterpiece. love it.” so, yeah, if that doesn’t tell you how much i love it, then idk what will.

what i’m asking by @amymel86​. oneshot, 1173k.

"I'm not here to talk about that," Theon says, setting off another, thankfully smaller coughing fit. "I'm here to talk about Sansa."

Jon can feel the blood drain from his face. "Is she ill?"

Theon shakes his head, lifting his eyes to Jon as he coughs into his fist. "No," he finally says, his lungs giving him a small reprieve. "The Queen is in her prime. Which is why you are needed."

okay, ya’ll obvi know of amy. she writes so much fantastic fic. but i feel like this one kind of flew under the radar? which is a CRIME tbh. this fic was so ... it was so heartbreaking, but in the best way. it’s not that divergent from canon, bc the main thing that is truly different is that theon lives. seriously love this fic.

A Toss of the Coin by Paige242. one-shot, 3793.

Years after the war, the Queen in the North and the pardoned Queenslayer welcome their first child. Old traits emerge, and Jon worries about this Dragon in a den of Wolves.

ok, so this is a future fic where jon and sansa married. i don’t even know how to describe this one. it isn’t jonsa focused, but that doesn’t make it any less brilliant. it is so unique, and i’m yet to read another fic that explores the idea of one of jonsa’s kids inheriting some targaryen madness. there IS a part two, which was just as amazing. pls do yourself a favour and read this!

Choose by @esther-dot​. oneshot, 5630k

“I know the cost of our loves. I know too well how they fall on the scale, one outweighing the other. I know what you tried to tell me. I know.” She was looking at him now, and he was afraid, but he would say the words that he had been unable to silence. “I never had the chance to choose you, but I would. I would choose you every time.”

THE DIALOGUE IN THIS IS INCREDIBLE. i just reread this to try and find my fave quote, but i actually can’t even pick. there are just so many amazing conversations, between sansa and jon, sansa and d.ny, arya and jon .. ugh, the list goes on. love this, please read.

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge by alltheshinywords. one-shot, 3187k.

Post 8x03, slightly AU. Tormund and Jaime inexplicably find themselves becoming matchmakers when they notice a certain chemistry between Jon Snow and Sansa Stark. Extreme fluff and silliness.

this one is the least angsty on the list, and honestly it’s just such a good time. i remember reading this while s8 was airing, and honestly it was just so light hearted that i laughed out loud several times, despite being heartbroken over what happening in the show.

canon, but alternative universe

leave behind a love story by aetherae. one-shot, 9562k.

Maybe if things had been different, they wouldn't be like this. They would be worse.

ok, so, despite the summary, i naively went into this expecting a happy ending. yeah, so, no. however, this was one of the most interesting fics i’ve read in a while, because each universe it explored was so different to the ones i usually see floating around. and the writing was SUPERB.

i fell in love with a war (and nobody told me it ended) by mountainsbeyondmountains. one-shot, 18752k.

In which the North and the South have been at war for years, and Sansa unexpectedly finds herself on the run with a certain Targaryen bastard.

this is an avatar/bender au, and it is GLORIOUS. after i read this, i promptly devoured every other fic this author has written bc i loved it so much. the bending is just a backdrop to the amazing enemies-lovers this fic delivers.

modern au

Fuel and Fire by @zarahjoyce​. currently 4608k, 4/?, WIP.

"You see?" Sansa says, smiling now. "If you really have to have a room far away from me, seems like you need to move into a different hotel." As an afterthought she adds, "Or to another planet."

"Bet you'd just love that, wouldn't you?" Jon asks her.

"Loads," she snarls.

He takes a deep breath, all the while just looking at her.

Truth be told Jon will give anything in the world to be able to just-- just--

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Jon and Sansa, and all the tropes applicable to them.

All. The. Tropes.

ok so zarah in general writes AMAZING fic, they’re always so creative and inventive and i’m always genuinely shook by the fic they write. but like, this one is the god tier one BC TROPES.

when we kiss: mmmm, fire by @dancemajicdance​. 8/8, 39705k.

Sansa might be seeing someone casually, but thanks to Arya, Robb, and Theon, it’s Jon who’s got the inside track on how to get Sansa to take him seriously.

aka: the one where jon finds out that sansa has a daddy kink, and he uses it to seduce her away from the dating scene and into his arms, heeeey-oh!

yes yes, it’s a daddy kink fic, and it’s fucking glorious alright. if that’s not your thing though (even though i’m pretty sure this fic is EVERYONE’S thing) then please, for the love of god, check out the rest of their stuff on ao3. you won’t regret it. even though they don’t write much jonsa anymore, the prolific contributions they HAVE made will go down in history as some of the best jonsa ever written imo.

As Long As We're Going Down by @alienor-woods​. 9/12, currently 42228k, WIP.

Four years after Stannis Baratheon wins the Battle of the Blackwater, Sansa Stark finds herself summoned back to King's Landing to serve as a bridesmaid at Crown Princess Shireen's wedding. When King Stannis tries to marry Sansa off to his illegitimate nephew, Edric, she thinks quick and tells him she's already married--

--to her bodyguard, Jon Snow.

i actually don’t know how to explain how much i love this. it’s written so beautifully, and it’s so realistic and just ugh. read it. the adaption to modern royalty is the best i’ve ever read, and the characters are very raw, and very realistic. (also, yes, the characters have gotten together at this point in the story, in case you were scared of committing to a wip without the satisfaction of some hot and heavy scenes).

[101flavoursofweird]

i'm late for the meme as usual, but: 1, 2 and 6?

((Thanks!)£

name ur politically correct ship that no one ever questions

LayClaire. Even people who don’t have it as their OTP still love LayClaire because of the ending of Lost Future.

Also, Raphael/Marie is a runner up. (Not there anything wrong with that— I love these two.)

2. now name ur trash ship

That would be Gwen/Arthur, surprisingly! They’re cute together, they have good chemistry and the pining of a servant girl not being able to marry a prince? A+. Uther doesn’t approve, so Arthur vows to wait until he becomes king to marry Gwen.  That makes sense. I can get behind the pining.

Vague spoilers for the later seasons... but some of the writing choices for their relationship are RIDICULOUS and they are never resolved. They’re literally just there to create DRAMA. Gwen did not deserve everything she went through.

Arthur’s so used to magic and Morgana by this point, why didn’t he suspect SOMETHING? (Why didn’t MERLIN?)

And yet, I still want them to get married with a big wedding, pretty dresses and crowns :) These two would be lost without Merlin. Maybe that’s the solution— just add Merlin to the mix! Make them an OT3!

6. who is your trash fave who is so problematic they probably have hate tumblrs dedicated to them

I don’t know if he has any hate tumblrs (I hope not), but Sea Hawk is the closest to my trash fave in She Ra. Let me make it clear that he isn’t trash— and he isn’t problematic— he usually makes me laugh and I’ve grown to really like his relationship with Mermista. There are characters who could be seen as way more problematic, but they aren’t among my FAVES. Sea Hawk is a FAVE. 

But out of all the characters, he’s one of the ones that came closest to annoying me. There were a couple of earlier episodes where I thought I was going to find him annoying but he never quite reached that point. Like when he gets himself, Bow and Swift Wind kidnapped to cheer Mermista and the others up. DUDE, I KNOW YOU WANT TO MAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAPPY, BUT SERIOUSLY?

And the way he just stands there holding Double Trouble when they’re about to leave Mermista and Scorpia behind in the underwater bar... Sea Hawk, I know Double Trouble just called you hot and all your exes are here, but YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAS JUST BEEN BRAINWASHED. MAYBE TRY A LITTLE HARDER TO WAKE HER UP?! (Or maybe that’s just because I like angst...) Look at Netossa with spinnerella! 

Now, please let Sea Hawk reunite with his mermaid girlfriend and stop her from being brainwashed. Please.