#it’s kinda intimate even though it’s supposed to be sexual???

[crownprinceofscraps]

Oh no! my hand slipped💅

Chuuyas corruption scars and Dazais s h scars😭

Scroll down for the slightly fuller version

Also let’s ignore that I got lazy and didn’t finish shading🫤

🥳

🫶🏻

🤲🏻

🤭

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Hi! I would love to request some cuddling scenarios with Lucifer, Alastor, and Vox!

SOFT MOMENT OF NON SEXUAL INTIMACY?! IN THIS HOUSE?! Yes, please!

It's implied romantic but could be queer platonic or a queer/nontraditional couple.

Lucifer

This man wants snuggles. Any way he can get them any time, he isn't required to not be physically attached to you. He really struggles with derealization/depersonalization. His depression gets bad, he isolates, and time has pretty much lost meaning to him after being around so long, so he just kinda, wastes away into sadness. It's how he and Charlie fell apart the first time, and he really doesn't want it to happen again.

Having you around to just talk to, hold hands with, sit on your lap, or you in his, it helps. It's like a reminder that he's still alive and someone wants to be around him. Someone wants to spend time with him. That you care. It also motivates him to stay in contact with Charlie instead of convincing himself she's better without him.

He still loves Lillith, regrets they aren't together, but he doesn't blame her for leaving. He's more upset with how it affects Charlie. So he makes extra effort to spend time with you, to acknowledge how important you are to him. He's so paranoid about ruining this relationship. This man has centuries of being told everything is his fault, everything wrong with the world, and is forced to face that supposed truth every day he rules Hell.

His favorite thing is just pulling you on top of him like a weighted blanket, wrapping his wings around the both of you, and laying in a dark, warm, cocoon. He'll take deep breaths, pet your hair, and just let himself finally relax. The first few times you'd stayed quiet, assuming that's what he wanted, but it just makes it easier for him to disassociate.

Now you talk to him, softly, about your day, ask about his. You slowly get him to open up about his favorite things, good memories he has of Lillith, baby Charlie, the sins, times before the Fall. It's a long process to get him to talk about it. Please be patient and gentle with him. He likes when you play with his fingers while he talks, just holding his hand and twisting and turning it, moving his rings around, just don't touch his wedding ring please, maybe you even manage to do his nails in this position.

His second favorite is when you help preen his feathers, gently massaging his wing joints, polishing each feather with the oil from his glands, using your thumbs to work out knots in the muscles around the base. It always turns into a full back massage that leaves him purring, making happy sighing sounds and little moans. He usually falls asleep like this. Don't worry though, once he wakes up, he's definitely returning the favor. He does head massages too! He prepares a little personal spa day for you.

He isn't really looking for anything more intimate when he's in one of sadder moods and is cuddling with you to feel better, he wouldn’t turn it down, he's too afraid you'd be upset, but he really just wants to be held or to hold someone. It's the little things that really make you special to him, and he cherishes every second you guys are together.

Alastor

We all know Alastor isn't a fan of being touched unless he initiates it. There are very few exceptions to this, so you have to be pretty close to him to even get the option to cuddle him.

You'll have to start slow, like holding his hand. A lot of people think he's the type to not want to do too much PDA, but like, look at how he is with Rosie and Mimzy in front of everyone. He doesn't care. Not for small things like hand holding. This eventually leads to him putting his arm around your waist as you're walking together, or around your shoulders if you're sitting next to each other so you can lean on his shoulder.

Now more intimate gestures, like cheek kisses, forehead kisses, petting his ears, those are private. He will resist at first, preferring to lavish you with attention, but be stubborn, match his energy, especially the witty banter, and eventually you'll wear him down.

It's canon that Alastor's hardly ever sleeps, so I imagine if you're a motherly type, (regardless of gender), or someone he genuinely trusts (because its not about if he's safe. He's the Radio Demon, very few sinners are a threat to him, so being a little vulnerable with you is safe no matter the level of trust) he's going to pass out.

You're in his room (or yours, but he prefers his) and he agreed to let you pet his ears. You settle on the bed, his head on your chest or lap, and he closes his eyes, soft jazz music playing from some unseen source, and maybe you're watching something on your phone, (he allows it only if it's something he can enjoy as well, but he usually winds up listening more than watching because screens hurt his eyes after awhile) more likely you're listening to a podcast, Alastor likes listening to true crime with you.

Your fingers gently run through his hair at first. You tease him about the bob sometimes, but understand that he's prone to pulling his hair out otherwise. Eventually you notice the music has stopped and Alastor's fast asleep, the smile on his face is so small it nearly doesn't exist, and his breathing is slow and even. His ears twitch when you stop petting them, and he stirs a bit, so you quickly resume playing with them and he falls back asleep.

(His tail is sensitive too, if you ever wanna fluster him, just run a finger down his spine to that cute little tail and give it a gentle tug.)

Alastor is also prone to play biting, so if you're an excited nibbler who gives noms, expect your cuddles to end up with a few bite marks.

Vox

It's really hard for him to sit still long, so if he's working late and you want to spend time with him, just crawl yourself into his lap and get comfy. He'll grumble and complain about the distraction, but it's all for show. He'll put his arm around your waist and trace your hipbones with his thumb, or play with your hair, run his fingers up and down your back, just small fidgety things.

He understands his head is inconvenient for snuggles, and he may not be the most comfortable. (I headcanon his body is built like the Detroit Become Human bots, with like silicone padding to appear/feel like skin, but it's hard plastic and metal and wires underneath with biomechanical parts inside.)

He is warm, though, and has the constant hum of his internal fans and electricity, so he's great for sensory snuggles. He's great for when you're sore or have migraines (surprisingly, but he can turn his brightness down at will). He likes to do more traditional forms of PDA.

He walks with his hand on your lower back. (He and Alastor both absolutely do the subconscious walk with their partners on the inside and them closest to the streets or alleyways. Lucifer would, but he probably isn't even aware it's a thing.)

You're cooking/baking/doing anything with your back to him, he puts his hands on your waist and leans against you. He's 7ft tall so he probably won't lean his entire body on you, but enough to feel close to you.

His favorite snuggles are disgustingly domestic. Like, his all time favorite, is when you're both sitting together on a couch, enjoying a movie or show, or maybe you're reading or on your phone or gaming, and he's working, just anytime you're occupying the couch together and existing, he'll pull your feet into his lap and massage them.

It's not like, a fetish thing, he just thinks it's sweet. A nice gesture to show how much he appreciates what you do, how hard you work. He'll massage your ankles and calfs too. He's also prone to trying to play with your hair and massage your scalp when you're laying on his chest at night, but his claws get tangled easily. Settles for rubbing your shoulders/back.

He likes when you rub his back and neck too. The man spends way too much time hunched over his desk at work. His back aches from doing the gremlin hunch over his desk to standing ramrod straight in front of cameras, sitting properly and confidently, stiff as a fucking board. You once teased him about how he could just use one of his cardboard cutouts as a stand-in, and no one would know.

Other times, he likes to lay on you. The first few times he sprawled across your lap seeking affection and reassurance for his fragile ego, you'd been so nervous to crack his screen. But now you're more used to it and will even playfully try and poke it/tap it. Between you and Valentino, Vox has had to rule out ever getting a touch screen for a head, because neither of you will stop fucking with it. It does make him laugh, though, adorable little giggles he'd rather die than let the general public hear. It usually turns into a playful wrestling match and aggressive cuddles with a side of petty static electricity from Vox.

[promptsbytaurie]

anything with wing clipping. i once tried to do research on it for a fic and,, it is SO angsty

i got u fam <333 (i have way too much brainrot on this bear with me LMAO)

tips for writing ✨wingfics✨

!!please credit/tag me if you use this!! i'd love to see what you write!!

physical differences:

area where wings connect to their back is insanely sensitive!!

feathers falling e v e r y w h e r e

wings are big!! if the wearer hasn't had them for long, or is younger/inexperienced, they're gonna knock shit over

~birb noises~

they're actually really good singers with insane lung capacity, a lot of them are/could be opera singers

thin bones, so they're super light and even though most think it's embarrassing to be picked up so easily there's always One Dude who's like 'carry me everywhere'

smaller birds = smaller people. most wings correspond to a specific species, and hummingbird varieties are notoriously short (though never say that to their face, they will probably murder you <3)

unless the avian is a kind of waterbird (penguins, sometimes eagles) going into water will clog their wings and they could drown!! adding onto this i imagine that avians have special bathtubs and brushes and stuff so that they can properly clean their wings

on the flip side if an avian does NOT clean their wings they can get tangled or matted which a) is super painful b) could impact their flying and c) could cause sickness !!

dislocated wings >:(( this happens about as often as dislocated shoulders do with regular people. this can be caused by a couple things like blunt force, trying to manuever/twist wings in ways they aren't supposed to go, or flying too often/straining wings.

psychological differences:

preening!! it's intimate, but doesn't have to be romantic/sexual. obv there is room for very fluffy and romantic moments but it can be either way

flock!!! it's kinda like a family or a pack

the urge to Make a Nest and Only Let the Flock In

once the Flock is In the Nest then the Flock Will Not Leave Ever

molting!! old feathers fall out to allow new ones to grow in !

molting is basically the bird version of a period except all birds have it once or twice a year. they're more emotional, super sensitive, and extra clingy during molting!!

if an avian gives you one of their feathers it's basically a version of marriage, except it doesnt have to be romantic. its essentially a promise, like a 'we're with each other forever' kinda thing.

just as humans have discrimination, i imagine that avians have it too. more common species like songbirds, ravens, or crows are probably valued in society way less than those like eagles, doves, or parrots, and there could also be stereotypes against species like vultures or condors.

on wing clipping:

in my mind wing clipping is a lot like trimming your fingernails realllly sloppily, except the difference is that you should NEVER clip an avian's wings.

what i mean by fingernails is that the nails themselves don't hurt but if you do it sloppily there are Consequences: clipped too short -> irritated skin. clipped inconsistently -> sharp edges, snags on everything INCLUDING other feathers

huge violation of boundaries/self!! clipped wings -> can't fly. flying is integral to avian health and if they can't fly their mood and mental health will fall drastically.

clipped feathers take a long time to grow back, and therefore clipping has long-term effects. it also damages the feathers themselves (obviously) in ways that sometimes can't be healed

if an avian's wings are clipped their trust goes DOWN and their insecurity goes UP. its likely that if someone else tries to touch their wings they will freak out

clipped wings also make avians more jumpy and paranoid because they've lost their major way to escape/protect themselves: flying away.

angst potentials in wingfics (spoiler: there's a lot):

like i said, clipped wings -> can't fly. write about an avian's first time flying again. (not super angsty but still)

SUPER angsty: write about the actual act of wing clipping.

an avian is neglecting their wing care and tries to hide it.

relationship between a 'noble' avian (eagle, dove, etc) and a 'basic' avian (crow, raven, etc) and society's dislike of the relationship.

or maybe avians are a minority in a human world, and an avian has to hide their wings to be safe.

hope this helped!! <33

[scoonsalicious]

1/Uncovered

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Pocket!Reader

Summary: Family is complicated. Family is messy. Family is what you make it.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mention of sexual situations.

Word Count: 2.8k

Previously On...: Fuck the one-shots-- we're in miniseries territory now, baby! Consider this a kind of teaser that bridges us from Unwanted to Unbroken.

A/N: I HAVE MISSED YOU. I HAVE MISSED THEM. WELCOME BACK, BITCHES!

No release schedule for this one, though-- sorry. We going in raw.

Banner by my beloved @mrsbuckybarnes1917; poor recolor by me.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Laying on the chaise lounge on the apartment terrace, you lazily ran your fingers through Bucky’s soft hair as he rested his head against you. The two of you were taking the rare break in your busy schedules to enjoy some quiet reading time– you had finally convinced Bucky to read To Kill a Mockingbird after trying to (poorly, in your opinion, but you were a science nerd, not a literary major) explain how it was the most important piece of American Literature ever written. He’d argued with you, firmly stating that title belonged to The Jungle, and while you didn’t discount the importance of Upton Sinclair’s work, you failed to see how he could make the distinction when he’d missed out on almost one hundred years of The Great American Novel. 

He’d only conceded to giving it a chance once you promised to reread it along with him, so you could discuss it together and now, here you were, enjoying the cool breeze that came in off the Hudson that cut through the late Summer heat, letting your imagination wander along with the adventures of Scout, Jem, and Dill. 

“Gotta say, sweets,” Bucky said absentmindedly as he turned a page, “kinda surprised you love this book so much. Over a hundred pages in and nobody’s having sex; doesn’t seem like your kinda story.”

“Shut up,” you chastised him, playfully tugging on a strand of his chestnut locks. “Not all my interests are smut-related, thank you.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Bucky chuckled as he stroked his fingers along your thigh where it rested next to his side. “Always such a dirty mind to go with that dirty mouth.”

You tried to suppress the shiver that went through your body at his touch, but it was like trying to keep the sun’s rays from warming your skin– impossible. He was already lying between your legs on the chaise while you read, his head resting comfortably on the soft curve of your stomach, his vibranium arm propped posessively over your knee. 

“Behave,” you warned him, though your voice didn’t hold any real heat. “We’re supposed to be reading.” You both knew that, if Bucky really wanted to distract you from the book in favor of other more… intimate activities, it wouldn’t take much work for him to do so, and you wouldn’t even be mad about it. 

Though you couldn’t see it from the way you were laying, you could easily picture the smirk that was gracing his face in your mind’s eye. “Okay, okay,” he conceded. “I’ll be good, I promise.” 

You wanted to believe him, but the way he kept teasing you by drawing soft patterns on the skin of your leg with his fingertips told you otherwise. You’d tried to ignore him, but you were only human. 

“Bucky,” you groaned in frustration as his fingers climbed ever higher along the outside of your thigh. “You are not playing fair!”

Bucky tilted his head back so he could look at you. “Whaddaya mean, doll?” he asked, his face the picture of innocence. “I’m just readin’ my book. Not m’fault, you’re so sensitive.”

You rolled your eyes at him; you were minutes away from just tossing the book to the ground and locking your legs around him, and you knew he knew it, too.

Before you could make a move, though, your phone began pinging with incoming alerts, one after the other, in a seemingly neverending barage of notitifcations. You frowned as you both turned to stare at the device where it sat on the coffee table. 

“Who’s textin’ you like a crazy person?” Bucky asked, slowly sitting up between your legs to look back at you.

You shook your head and frowned. “That’s not my text tone,” you told him. “That’s my Google Alerts notification.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed and he leaned forward, picking your phone up from the table. “May I?” he asked, inclining his head toward it. 

“Please,” you nodded, granting him permission to unlock your phone and check the notifications as you sat up straighter, pulling your knees against your chest.

Bucky quickly tapped in your passcode and began scanning the screen. You were grateful he’d taken the initiative to look for you– there was only one thing you’d ever set a Google Alert for: your own name, and every time you received one, your heart would stop in your chest, convinced that this time, someone would have uncovered the truth about your abusive past and the horrible things that had been done to you as a child.

You weren’t ashamed of what you’d endured. No, the years of sexual assualt you’d suffered at the hands of your mother’s boyfriend and the men he pimped you out to had made you stronger, given you courage, tenacity, drive to make something of yourself, but the secrets of your past were yours to divulge at your discretion, and you’d lived under a constant cloud of fear that one day, the choice of who to share that information with would be taken from you.

After a moment, Bucky sighed and held out the phone to you. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said softly, and you felt your heart seize in your chest. “Looks like we’ve finally been found out.”

With a confused frown, you took the phone from Bucky and glanced down at the screen. You were suddenly hit with the wildest sense of deja vu as you read the headlines that filled the page, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh at how you’d worried over nothing, or cry over the memories the headlines invoked:

Cold War Love Affair: Winter Soldier Caught in Scandalous Romance with Stark Exec!

Winter Soldier’s Shocking Romance: Bucky Barnes Steals Cap's Flame, Sparks Fly at Avengers’ Tower!

Captain America Left in the Cold? Winter Soldier Spotted Getting Cozy with Stark Industries CTO!

Is Bucky Barnes Breaking the Bro Code? Winter Soldier Moves In on Captain America’s Girl!

Demotion in Rank? Stark Industry’s Tech Queen Downgrades from Captain to Sergeant!

Winter Soldier & Stark's Leading Lady: Romance Heats Up Between Avengers' Baddest and Brightest!

You ended up breathing out a relieved laugh. Your past remained behind closed doors, exactly where you wanted it to stay and, unlike the last time you found yourself the subject of tabloid fodder, at least you were being romantically linked to the right man for a change. Granted, you could have done without the implication that you and Steve had any sort of romantic history, but you’d take what you could get when it came to these vultures.

Bucky, however, looked like he was about to be sick.

“Baby?” you asked tentatively as you put the phone down and picked up his hand. “Are you okay? Why do you look so upset?”

Bucky exhaled loudly and looked up at you through his lashes. “I’m so sorry, Pocket,” he said softly.

You looked at him, baffled by his demeanor. “Sorry? Buck… what on earth do you have to be sorry about? So people finally found out about us– so what? It’s not like we were ever keeping us a secret.”

“I know,” he sighed, running his hands through his hair, “but this…” he nodded toward the phone, “this can’t be good for your reputation. I can’t be good for your reputation.”

“Fuck my reputation,” you scoffed playfully, picking up the phone as you began looking through the headlines again. “Baby, the only people who’s opinions of me I give a shit about are you and the people who live in the Tower. I couldn’t possibly care less what the general public thinks of me. We don’t owe them anything. We don’t belong to them.” 

Bucky gave you a look as though you were being incredibly naive. “Sweetheart, people hate me. They wanna see me locked away for the rest of my life for the things I’ve done. They’re gonna look at you, and they’re not gonna see the brilliant, amazing woman that you are. They’re gonna see someone willing to date a monster. And they’re gonna judge you for it. They’re gonna treat you differently because of it, punish you for loving me, and I’m so sorry for that.”

You barked out an unintended laugh as you reviewed the comments on one of the articles. “Baby, I don’t think you have to worry about that.” He looked at you with a puzzled expression. “Oh, they definitely seem to hate me, alright,” you added, turning the phone back for him to look at, “but it’s not for the reasons you think.”

He curiously took the phone from your hands and scrolled through the comments, his face growing more and more angry as he read: bbarneslover: Ugh, how does she land Bucky Barnes? She's literally just… a nerd. → makemehowlcommando: Wow, really? Her? Guess even superheroes lower their standards sometimes.       → bbarneslover: I could treat him way better. What does she even have that the rest of us don't?

→ wintersoldierwifu: How much ya’ll wanna bet it’s just a PR stunt?!

→ hydrahottie4bucky: She better watch out. Bucky deserves someone who actually appreciates him—not someone chasing clout who fucked his best friend! → wokeupwithbucky: I can’t believe Bucky would fall for someone like her! It should be me! →hydrahottie4bucky: She’s only with him because of the Avengers connection, not because she cares about him! → bucky’snaughtynightmare: She couldn’t care less about Bucky’s trauma. She’s just after the Avengers clout, obviously. → barnesinmybedroom: Bitch probably doesn’t even understand Bucky's past like real fans do!

→ bucky'snaughtynightmare: First Captain America, now Bucky? I don’t want to call slut, but… → bbarneslover: Girl’s out here collecting Avengers like Pokémon. We all know the rumors about her and Tony Stark. → bucky’snaughtynightmare: Pathetic. What, is there some “Collect All Avengers” achievement we don’t know about?

→ barnesridesmerough: I’m sorry, but how does a glorified IT girl snag two Avengers? Must be some kind of tech magic.     → bucky’snaughtynightmare: Magic tech vagina, maybe.

→ makemehowlcommando: She’s just Cap’s leftovers. Bucky deserves so much better than some sloppy seconds! → bucky’sbadgirl: It’s obviously a attention thing for her. Can’t believe Bucky’s falling for this! → barnesridesmerough: I give it a month before he comes to his senses and dumps her. She’s not right for him! → makemehowlcommando: LOL, she won’t last a week. He’ll get bored and dump her for someone interesting. → barnesridesmerough: From your lips to Bucky’s ears! Ugh, this girl sucks!

→ brooklynbadboylover: Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Why does he make me so feral?! → bucky’sbadgirl: He could choke me out any day. Either with his arm or his dick, idc… → darkchocolate78: Ya’ll need Jesus. Besides. I think they're cute together.

The scowl on Bucky’s face was almost adorable as you watched him grow offended on your behalf. “How do we get them to take this stuff down?” he asked you. 

You gently took the phone back from him and began typing away at the comments section. “Not really much we can do about it, Buckaroo,” you told him. “Once it’s on the internet, it’s pretty much forever.

Bucky frowned at your lack of concern. “I’m not just gonna sit back and let a bunch of strangers talk shit about you like that, Pocket.”

“I’ve heard much worse, trust me,” you said with a shrug. “Besides, why should I be mad when they’re just jealous? I can’t blame them. You’re fucking delicious. I feel sorry for them for not being me.” You quirked an eyebrow at him over your phone, trying to be playful, but he wasn’t having it. You snorted as you finished typing. “Besides, I’m not doing ‘nothing.’” You grinned as you turned your phone back to him so he could see what you just typed. → BuckyBarnesFucker69: Oh, I’m sure she sucks alright… like a fucking Hoover. Probably the only reason he’s kept her around as long as he has. Only thing a mouth like that is good for. “Pocket, this…” Bucky spluttered, “this is awful! I—” He stopped and turned to look at you as you started laughing maniacally. His gaze went between you and the comment in front of him, then back again. “You’re BuckyBarnesFucker69, aren’t you?”

You bit your lip, trying to fight the grin that was desperate to escape across your face. “Mayyyyybee,” you offered mischieviously. 

Bucky glared at you, a combination of confusion and frustration clouding his features. “Why the fuck would you play into this?” he asked. “It’s like… you’re letting them bully you.”

His indignance on your behalf warmed your heart and you scooted closer to him to wrap your arms around his neck. “It’s very sexy that you want to defend my honor, Buck,” you said, pressing your lips to the stubble on his cheek. “But you don’t have to worry about it– I’m in on the joke, now. They think they’re laughing at me, but they don’t realize they’re actually laughing with me. So, I win.”

Bucky’s gaze was skeptical as studied your face. “You’re certifiable. You realize that, right?” he asked eventually, a slight smile pulling at the edge of his lips. 

“Uh huh,” you agreed with an enthusiastic nod. “But you love my brand of crazy.”

Bucky sighed dramatically. “God help me, I do,” he said, pulling you down into his lap. He brushed a strand of hair away from your face before his gaze turned serious again. “Are you sure this is all okay, though, doll?” he asked.

You repositioned yourself on his lap, straddling his thighs as you turned to face him. “I’m sure,” you told him. “I know it’s hard for you to believe sometimes, but I’m proud to be your girl, Bucky Barnes. I don’t care if the whole world knows it. Fuck, I want them to know it. I want them to look at you and see the man I see, every time. To see all the good things about you that I love so much.”

Bucky’s gaze turned soft as he stroked your cheek with his flesh thumb. “And what are all the good things you love about me?”

You pulled back slightly, giving him a wary look. “Oh, fishing for compliments now, are we?” you teased.

The grin he gave you was enough to light a fire low in your belly. “Maybe one or two,” he admitted cheekily. 

“You have a magic dick,” you told him with a grin. Your natural instinct was to make a joke of it, and you thought you were going to keep going in that vein, but in the moment, you suddenly felt the need to be serious, to be honest with him. “You’re a good man. Even after everything you’ve been through, you still try. No one would ever fault you if you just threw in the towel and said ‘fuck it, I’m done,’ but that’s not who you are. You keep fighting, even when you don’t have to, but you do it because it’s the right thing to do. You do it so that other people won’t suffer the way you were made to suffer. 

“You make me laugh, Bucky. You’re warm, and kind, and yeah, you occasionally fuck up sometimes, but you learn from it. You’re always striving to be a better version of yourself, and you make me want to be a better version of myself, too. You–” you had to pause to clear your throat. Somewhere along the way, you realized you’d started getting worked up with emotion. 

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I know… I know I’m not always an easy person to love. I know I have my issues, and a lot of guys would have looked at all my damage and probably just run in the opposite direction, but not you. You’ve never been anything but patient and loving and gentle with me.” You choked back a soft sob. “I never thought anyone would ever be able to love me, with my history and my baggage, but there you were. And baby, you love me better than I could have ever even wished for, because despite everything you’ve been through, you have such a big heart. And that’s what I love about you the most– they put you through hell, and you’d be well within your rights to turn your back on the entire fucking planet, but you don’t. You choose to save it. Every damned day, you make the choice to be a good man. And I fucking love you for it.” 

You sniffed and wiped at your face, your hand coming away wet with tears. “Shit,” you laughed, embarrassed at the way your emotions had taken over. “Was not planning on going full-drama on you. Should have just stuck with the ‘magic dick’ part. Sorry.”

Bucky was silent as you regained your composure, looking at you with an intensity that unnerved you.

“Say something, Buck," you chuckled in an awkward attempt to relieve the tension you felt under his gaze, "otherwise I’m going to think I embarrassed myself right out of this relationship.” You weren’t sure what you wanted him to say to you– just reassure you hadn’t made a complete fool of yourself in front of him, you supposed, but when he opened his mouth, he took you completely by surprise.

“Marry me.”

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[little-sleepy-owl]

𝐀𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫,

who is a virgin and wants him to be their first. gender neutral, not so much explicit, but still smutty, as usual. Alastor is his own warning. kinda.

this one took me a while for several reasons. mostly because life is a bitch, but also because it was a really hard piece to write. I'm asexual myself and this is heavily self-indulgent. I wanted to maintain this treat of his, but still explore the sexual aspect of the relationship and the way asexual people might participate in it. so... yeah. proceed with understanding of this.

oh? so, you're just like him.

the only one who is not surprised whatsoever. isn't it supposed to be that way?

though there are a lot of vulgar people around. he might even praise you for keeping your chastity for so long.

but… becoming your first?

“Truly, my dear? That's quite the favor to ask a gentleman!”

it's less about being repulsed by the idea of intimacy (it doesn't sound bad if it's with you) and more about not wanting to step into a completely uncharted territory.

that's a first for him too, after all.

give him time. he needs to research some things before he's ready to try.

a week or two later he suddenly appears out of the shadows in your room with loud static noises, scaring the shit out of you, and announces that he would be very pleased to take the offer!!

hooray..? (please come out from under the bed, darling.)

now, just like Husk, he is an old-fashioned man. for him, this could only happen after a nice date.

he prefers a simple stroll around the city arm in arm, and having some coffee with you.

you can sense that he's a tad nervous, but also deeply thrilled. his posture is a little stiff while walking, ears, usually unmoving, twitch slightly here and there. it's cute.

you also notice he's more physically intimate with you today than usual. sitting a bit closer to you and leaning in subtly, so you can feel his warmth. gently covering your hand with his own. reaching to fix your hair, touch feather-like and making your heart pound in your chest.

none of it is sexual in any way, but the difference in his demeanor doesn't let you forget your plans for the night even for a moment.

judging by the sly curve of his smile and very attentive gaze, this is one hundred percent intentional.

inclined to take you into his own room after the date. if you're not against the living forest in the background.

(I suggest you accept the offer. fireflies would be a very romantic addition to your night.)

he needs to talk things out first.

“Let's discuss some rules of our… little arrangement.”

the rules are quite simple, although you might find them odd.

he will not take all his clothes off. especially not the lower part. pants stay on no matter what.

his hands, his mouth? all for your pleasure, darling. no limitations here.

and maybe, if you behave yourself and ask nicely… his shadows, too, can participate.

he merrily refuses to elaborate on what “behaving” means for him exactly. it's simply more fun that way, isn't it?

jacket tossed inside, sleeves rolled up. honestly speaking, it already feels too revealing. you don't think you ever saw so much of his arms or his neck before.

he is in a white shirt today, clean and pure, like the snow on the mountaintop. pristine even.

you never saw this, either.

he follows your gaze and his smile turns a little unsettling. you shiver, suddenly feeling like you are the one who's exposed here, even though you haven't taken off anything yet.

“No blood to stain it today, my dear,” he coos, adjusting the shirt slightly. oh, so usually he wears red for–

you don't want to continue this thought right now.

he's very insistent on undressing you by himself.

he uncovers you like you're his birthday cake in a cute present box. slowly removing every ribbon, carefully taking off the wrapping, anticipating what's underneath.

his hands are cold, but his eyes are heated, even somewhat hungry. and so, so intent.

he drinks on your every shiver, on the way your lips parts ever so slightly to let out a small gasp, on the goosebumps that run on your skin, when he leans in to nibble on your pretty neck, right beside the quicked throbbing of your pulse.

he hums an old tune, seemingly lost in exploration of your body and the way you respond to his touch.

he's eager to learn and very observant. he changes the pace the moment he notices you feeling uncomfortable. he discovers what makes you respond well and uses the knowledge without any shame.

but he also does very much love you telling him what you want him to do with that cute trembling voice of yours.

that's what eventually earns you the shadows taking part in the whole fun. if this is something you desire.

if you weren't satisfied before, you most certainly are now.

expect him to restrain you. he likes to see you squirming under his touch, unable to set the pace. he does everything deliberately slow, so you would beg him to give you more and do it faster.

he's very controlling in general, and although he takes into account what you want, he will also act on his own whim.

it honestly seems that he likes teasing and tormenting you to see your reactions much more than the physical aspect of it all.

humor him, and he will reward you accordingly.

but don't let him get too lost in it. he has a tendency to forget that you're not merely a toy to play with.

set some boundaries and you'll be alright.

once you both decide it's enough, he's a thoughtful gentleman again, bringing a glass of water for you, and helping you clean yourself up.

will let you rest your head on his lap, gentle light of fireflies surrounding you.

he sings a shooting melody, letting you peacefully drift off to sleep.

[dorims]

What kinks do u think Roman has?

I just know they’re weird (and I’d still be into them)

so if i have to be honest, ive never really thought about roman's kinks 🥲 HOWEVER you know how he shamed tom for swallowing back his cum after tabs sucked him off?? yeah he's definitely into that and you can't tell me otherwise.

and without further ado! a little brainstorm under the cut <3

tags. VERY SUGGESTIVE, MDNI, an overall masochistic vibe, degradation/praise, allusions to cheating, impact play, mentions of roman's low self-esteem

a/n. psa im not familiar with writing smut and if i gotta be honest im pretty vanilla myself so...do with that what you will LMFAO

masochism

hes a masochist, we been knew

its pretty much the central theme of these hcs too

degradation/praise

so definitely degradation bc its roman, cmon. but for some reason i cant help but think that he's really into being praised too?

could be wrong but i feel like he'd only let himself be praised after he's developed a solid bond with his partner, and it'd probably go from being degraded to a mix of degradation and praise to full praise in some occasions.

if theres not a smooth transition i feel like he would panic and shut himself out. like it feels too intimate or smth.

cuckolding (controversial)

i think he would like it bc it hurts. like his partner sleeping with someone else is kind of like a slap to the face

a situation that has him constantly thinking 'I'm not enough' and that kind of hurt i think he gets off on bc masochism <3

but thats only maybe with the condition he somehow gets the chance to prove to himself and to you that he is better than the person you're sleeping with

OR he's into 'pseudo-cuckolding' so he likes the idea that you COULD go and sleep with someone but you dont, kinda like what happened with grace and the server

SO MAYBE IM WRONG and he would actually hate this but you know, im trynna brainstorm

phone sex (is this even a kink?)

only the sound of your voice and his,

kinda like the romangerri situation LMFAO

because think about it, this way you dont have to actually see him. that would comfort him in some way because of his low self-esteem and self-image issues. that way you can picture anything you want and not be disappointed with the real thing, you know?

i also think that phone sex (or bathroom door sex????) would help him open up until he grows comfortable enough in the intimacy the two of you are building

love how this are supposed to be smut hcs yet im making them slightly angsty

impact play

i think this might be a little self-explanatory, but yes, getting hit in a sexual context turns him on

only when he is receiving ofc

dom/sub dynamics

he's a massive sub and no one can tell me otherwise

its literally on the show TT

ANYWAY, he's probably bratty at first but then just gives in to your every demand because he aims to please

still likes to get on your nerves though, like a lot and i think thats because even when he's been an annoying piece of shit in bed you still take care of him and that reinforces, in his head, that, sure he's being unbearable but that doesn't take away the fact that you care for him and love him, ya know?

also, he would probably call you mommy/daddy at first jokingly but the it kinda sticks??

freud would have a field day with roman roy

OOC BUT FUN TO THINK ABOUT: vanilla sex

hear me out, ik roman's character is pretty much the personification of the words 'kinky mf' but idk

i think vanilla sex would suit roman SOO much. i think for roman to reach the point of having sex with ANYONE there needs to be a established foundation of trust and respect and perhaps love too

and i know sex doesn't necessarily mean love, but we are talking about a man who's definition of love is pain - like love HAS to hurt for it to be love - and undoubtedly he would twist his perception of sex to fit that same definition of love because love is a branch of intimacy and so is sex, you feel me?

i just feel like it would show roman another side of intimacy. all gentle and kind and giggly sex and intimacy doesn't necessarily have to hurt for it to feel good.

like imagine just plain vanilla sex and its banter and laughter and quips and help me lol

vanilla sex and aftercare would solve all his problems, i said what i said /hj

[emeritus-fuckers]

I love y’all’s blog, it’s amazing! How do you think the papas would react to reader calling them an “Italian stallion”?😏

This is one of the most hilarious ones so far. And thank you ♡ - Jez

Papas being called an Italian stallion by their s/o

Primo

"A retired one, perhaps, sí?"

He chuckles softly, finding it absolutely adorable.

Primo was the least sexually active out of his brothers, not just because of his age, but mostly because he didn't find as much fun in it and preferred to keep it intimate.

But now that he has the right person by his side, he lets himself be a bit more playful with it.

Secondo

Chokes on his drink and looks at you, genuinely confused.

You were supposed to be the innocent one in this relationship, hello?

Genuinely bamboozled.

Don't get me wrong, he likes the compliment (and he is well hung, we've all seen Year Zero), but he didn't expect you to say shit like that.

Once he gets past the initial shock, he chuckles with a small smirk and pats his thigh.

"Well, amore? Come on in, let Papa give you a ride."

Terzo

Like his older brother, Terzo's shocked, but he reacts by laughing.

"Well, baby, you know what they say. Save a horse, ride a Papa."

He's gonna almost demand you ride him, now that you called him that.

And he's not letting it go, either.

He will randomly call you and say your Italian stallion is lonely and needs your company.

Or he's gonna wrap his arms around you from behind, his erection presses against your ass as he whispers that your Italian Stallion needs attention.

He's menace and he's not living it down, you brought this upon yourself, love.

Copia

If you did that when he's a cardinal or when his facepaint is off, the noises he makes would be the audio equivalent of a keyboard smash.

He's just so, so confused and needs coddling. Especially if he's still the cardinal.

As he gets more confident in his role as Papa, he might react more confidently, though the initial awkward chuckle is always there.

If he's very confident, he'll just kinda squeeze your hip and say he's gonna let you take a ride later, since you're such an eager cowgirl/cowboy.

Old Nihil

Bro puffs his chest so much he's like a fucking peacock.

He's very happy to know you're still impressed with his Seven Inches of Satanic Panic.

And considering his age, he doesn't really have much energy to take charge anymore, so you're usually riding him anyway.

He's just so eager to make you ride him, too!

"Come to Papa, sweetie. Papa wants to you ride him."

Young Nihil

He's even more eager than he is when he's old.

Similarly to Terzo, he's willing play into it and mess with you because of it.

He's much more likely to be loud about it, though.

Will call out to you in public and talk to you about how your Italian stallion needs someone to ride him so he doesn't feel neglected.

He's also very likely to just randomly pull you into him and give you a very clear look that he wants to take you somewhere private.

"Come on, babe, you want a stallion, you gotta take care of him.*

[ridiasfangirlings]

I think it'd be funny if Saruhiko was that all bark but no bite kinda person in bed? Like, imagine he just keeps making fun of Yata for being a virgin but when they finally DO begin fucking Saruhiko is the first one panting and exasperated.

May or may not be because he didn't exactly grasp the concept of feelings in a romantic and sexual relationship before so it sounded more easy said than done.

. As someone who firmly believes that for all his talk Fushimi is also a virgin, I fully enjoy this idea. I can absolutely see Fushimi as someone who has like grasped the general idea of sex and doesn’t see the big deal about it, like okay it’s supposed to feel good and presumably there’s sweating and fluids everywhere which sounds uncomfortable but otherwise not a big deal. He enjoys teasing Yata for being a virgin because Fushimi doesn’t see anything to be embarrassed about when it comes to talking about sex, it’s just bodies after all, and seeing Yata get all blushy and stuttering is funny. For a long time Fushimi also probably assumed sex was something not relevant to his life anyway — Fushimi strikes me very much as someone who wouldn’t want to be touched by a person he doesn’t have any kind of connection with (in one of the Gakuen K drama CDs he even refuses the hot springs because other people have bathed in them) and considering his nonexistent levels of self esteem I can see Fushimi treating sex as something he’s looking at from the outside, he doesn’t need to be embarrassed by it because it’s simply not something he will ever have to deal with.

Then he and Yata hook up and now sex is suddenly an actual thing that he has to contend with. I imagine the first time he and Yata get up the courage to actually put their hands in each other’s pants, Fushimi is just teasing Yata for his red face but at the same time Fushimi has like no stamina at all and doesn’t even manage to outlast Yata. And then when they start actually having full on penetrative sex and suddenly Fushimi is all panting and barely able to speak, red-faced and clumsy and getting really annoyed that sex wasn’t as easy as it sounded when he read about it online. I also imagine after their very first time especially Fushimi just having a moment afterward as the sheer emotion and intimacy of what they just did hits him, like it’s very easy to think of sex as a thing bodies do and an entirely different thing to process the emotions behind it especially since you know Yata was being all loving and honest throughout the whole thing. That’s probably even harder for Fushimi than the act itself — he can handle being touched by Yata and when they’re both all frenzied and horny it’s fine, but when things become slower and more passionate and intimate and now suddenly Fushimi’s having to face stark naked emotion and that’s just entirely new territory for him. (None of this stops him from teasing Yata about being a virgin though, which Yata finds totally exasperating especially when Fushimi says it while they are actively in the middle of having sex.)

[nostalgicninjas]

2012 Leorai Rant

there’s so much discourse about whether 2012 leorai is considered incest or not and i kinda wanted to throw my two cents in ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i grew up with the 2012 series, and as a kid, i was a hardcore leorai fan. now as an adult, i’ve become neutral to the ship (though it will always hold a special place in my heart for nostalgic purposes). overall my thoughts/perspective on leorai have changed a lot over the years. i’ve grown to ship them more with other people (‼️ aprinardo and shinirai supremacy ‼️) while still loving and appreciating their canon dynamic. personally, i don’t view their relationship as entirely platonic or romantic. on one hand, i believe leo and karai do love each other like family (the same way all the turtles love april and casey like family) but they also connect on a deeper level that’s too intimate to call them “siblings”. it’s not as black and white as them being either brother/sister or boyfriend/girlfriend. to me, their relationship has so many layers it’s too complex for labels. which is fine because labels are overrated anyway. but that’s just my opinion.

i completely get why some people (especially those with adopted family members) think the relationship is weird, and i also get why some people see no problem with it. at the end of the day, it all depends on an individual’s life experiences or personal preferences.

note: if two people are biologically blood relatives, then an intimate/sexual relationship between them is 100% incest and i do not support or condone such behavior.

in this particular case however, i believe there is a difference between real incest and what society views to be incest. imagine two people have been dating for a while and then their parents fall in love and decide to get married. are they supposed to just turn their feelings off for each other and break up because they are now “technically siblings”? i’m sorry to break it to you but that’s not how emotions work. emotions are complicated. and frankly it seems wrong to try to force two people to think/feel a certain way about each other just because it’s what society excepts. i have always been a firm believer that people should be free to follow their hearts and love who they love. if there is no blood or biological connection involved (or any other illegal factors), then i see no reason why people can’t be free to choose how they get to view a person or how they wish for those relationships to develop. because in this case, love is not a crime.

in a way, the same can be said for leo and karai. first impressions count for something, and leo had already developed feelings for karai long before he found out she was splinter’s daughter. i know most people would disagree, but just because they view the same man as a father figure does not make them obligated to view each other as siblings. just because mikey CHOOSES to view karai as a sister does not mean leo is obligated to view her the same way. same goes for raph and donnie. from what was shown in the series, those two (especially raph) hardly considered karai to be a part of their immediate family, much less considered her a sister. and that’s their right. as much as i’m sure we all wanted to see the turtles and karai come together (and trust me i did too), donnie and raph had valid reasons to dislike/distrust karai and they shouldn’t be forced to brush their justified feelings aside and immediately accept her as a “sister” if they don’t want to. they may view her as an ally/asset to the team, but if they don’t want to view her as family, then they shouldn’t have to (though i’m sure they would eventually accept her in the future; whether or not as a sister or just a distant family member, we’ll never know).

i even once saw an anti shipper say that if shipping leorai isn’t incest because they aren’t blood related, then it shouldn’t be considered incest when shipping the turtles with splinter since they also aren’t blood related. that’s a really gross comparison for multiple reasons but mainly;

1.) the turtles are all MINORS and splinter is a grown ass man which is reason enough because W T F

and

2.) splinter has always viewed the turtles as his children and the turtles have always viewed him as their father. for him to suddenly take any kind of sexual interest in them is downright predatory, blood or no blood.

as for the whole “whether or not they share dna” debate, that’s honestly up to interpretation. splinter was never actually seen touching the turtles, so it’s not a canon fact that they actually absorbed any of his human dna when they mutated. and even if they had, the notion that this automatically makes them biological relatives to splinter is actually quite comical. that’s like saying the radioactive spider that gave peter parker superpowers is suddenly his new father. sounds silly, doesn’t it?

overall, i hate it when careless leorai fans make insensitive statements about adopted families, and i also hate it when anti shippers treat leorai fans like freaks just for having a different perspective on their relationship. if you prefer to think of them as brother and sister, then that’s cool. we’re all entitled to our opinions. what’s not cool is constantly harassing fans of the ship and shoving your “sibling” agenda down their throats (and vice versa).

to borrow a paragraph from @orokukarai’s rant:

If the ship makes you uncomfortable, whether it's for personal reasons or you're just not vibing, that's OK. If you personally see it as incestual, that's valid. But going around saying Leorai shippers all like or support incest is not true and there are many valid readings where they're not incestual even if you disagree with them. Some shippers probably do like incest, but then so do many non-Leorai shippers.

in conclusion, respect other people’s opinions. if you stumble across content you don’t like, block or ignore it. no need to comment hate or fill up the ship hashtags with negativity (and that goes for ALL fandoms).

just stay in your lane and keep scrolling ✌️

[tchaikovskyed]

The Double ep 38/39/40/40.5(??) spoilers ///

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS: THE BEST ENDING KNOWN TO MAN!

Wanning & Shen Yurong's ending being so surprisingly tender in the end???? God her story was so horrible and her entire life twisted her into a husk of a woman... I actually shed a tear at her death scene

&& Shen Yurong's haunted doggedness in pursuing his goals to the end and how he's gaslit himself into thinking that this is all for the greater good... Shen Yurong is one of the more complex villains out there for sure, and the acting was pitch perfect. Of course he chooses to commit suicide because at the end of it all he's just a fucking coward & has been this entire time!!!

Another thing. Kinda dumb that whoever holds the fish talisman automatically gets the army?? Lmao??? They are like rip even though this guy is evil we gotta follow him because he's holding that damn fish. The CATHARSIS OF A LI FINALLY GETTING TO SHOOT THE DAMN MAN THOUGH!!!!!

Xiao Heng's grandfather is the literal GOAT lmao he was so endearing & same with Xue Zhao LOL calling Xiao Heng his brother in law. Also, kind of rude of them to make Jingrui and Liu Xu get married OFF SCREEN??

The scene where she finally admits that she isnt the real Jiang daughter made me cry so goddamn hard. The regrets of a father who pushed his daughter away and abandoned her... he got his redemption arc but also his self inflicted punishment in the end

Where to start with A Li and Xiao Heng tbh. Perfect chemistry. Perfect banter. No notes. It was incredible that they showed so much affection to each other after ep 34 I was dying every time they were on screen.

Not Xiao Heng acting silly A Li finally told him that she likes him and wants to renovate his house LMAO.

Their wedding night scene was just so tender and intimate and I was surprised (but not at all displeased) that they gave us such an extended kiss scene lmao??? ABOUT DAMN TIME

God if I took a shot every time Xiao Heng gives A Li a longing/incredulous look as if he cannot believe she really exists I would be wasted because that man is a master of those...

Also after finally seeing that Xiao Heng talisman in mouth scene I regret to say that I instantly became even more feral for this man than I already am. They gave him a freaking Guan Gong blade!

The battle scenes were IMPECCABLY choreographed and I cried for Lu Ji and Wen Ji so hard. Why did they have to kill them. WHY. We went through so much together??? Why do this to Xiao Heng has he not lost enough my guys???

As a revenge drama this was just so incredibly satisfying to see all the wrongs be righted and everyone ended up exactly where they were supposed to be!!!

Also did you guys know that there's a secret episode where they play Go with sexual innuendos ??????????? And flirt?????? And have a child???????

[somewhereinthepines]

a/n: i’m cleaning up my writing files atm, and i found this lil thing. it was supposed to be a full-blown oneshot pwp, but idk if i will return to it like ever. to this set-up in particular, i mean. i might, but also not sure. so here as far as i’ve got with it. technically speaking, this can be considered an AU. ryan is around 23-24 in this fic. chris is 48. the rest of the counsellors are also older. and basically, ryan and chris both have tattoos in this fic, and pretty much look like their concept art versions. that’s the only time, when ryan is allowed to look cool. ever. 

and as to why jacob happens to be here…well, idk. he just is. 

either way, the pair is chris/ryan, there are hints of slight mature themes, but it never got past it lol. also i didn't re-read it, so if there are mistakes, so sorry.

————–

Emma was a freaking tease. Jacob knew it already. Knew it from the get-go, but he couldn’t help himself. He truly couldn’t. He was always getting frustrated with the way she taunted him. Giving him an inch, only for him to make it into a mile. 

Sure, it was part of the deal and they weren’t even dating, but deep down, he dared to hope for something more intimate, than a quickie and promise of maybe, maybe not doing it again. 

It was fun, of course. The things, that they did. Em had a fantastic body and she was more experienced, than most girls he was with before. Yet, it’s where she seemingly drew the line. She wouldn’t allow him to kiss her in public or even throw an arm around her shoulder. 

She resisted anything, that had something to do with them getting committed to one another, and despite how he should have been ‘respectful’ toward her wishes, it still managed to upset him. 

He naively thought, that they kinda had, you know, something special, maybe? A summer flick can grow past just a little crush, no one forbidden it to. 

But she was having none of that. 

She refused to give him any chance to actually show her, that he was pretty serious about making her his girlfriend. It seemed like she didn’t believe him. But Jacob was a stubborn guy, and he kept on telling himself, that he just needs to work harder to win her over. After all, Em was the girl of his dreams. Pretty, witty, and hot as hell. What is there not to want? He just had to try harder to make her see things his way!  

The only problem was, though, that he had no idea how to go about it. He only had one girlfriend before, and even then, she dumped him, because he wasn’t ‘sensitive enough’ for her or whatever. 

Jacob was pretty helpless, when it came to deciphering women's psychology. 

He could always ask Kaitlyn’s opinion on the matter, but she would make fun of him, abusing the boundaries of their friendship for her own amusement. And even if she would have been willing to actually help him, she wasn’t the most girly girl on the block. How would she know what Em might like? And Abi, well, yeah no. He doubts, that she will be of any help, either. She didn’t strike him as someone, who was on the same level as Emma. 

So with all those names crossed out, unfortunately, it left him only with one option. Not the best one. But who else was he going to ask for dating advice? Mister H? 

No, it was out of the question. He won’t ask some old dude, who clearly wasn’t doing anything sexual for years. Jacob needed a more ref-reshed opinion. Such as Nick or Dylan. They’d be able to help. 

For that, he smartly picked the time, when he had two of them in one place. During the breakfast, when everyone was way too sleepy to be smarasses and when, Emma was sitting out of ear-shot. 

It was perfect timing for sure. 

As soon as he was mentally ready, he blurted out, loud enough only for his buds to hear, “What should I do?” 

Dylan and Nick paused their heated discussion about some music band to throw weirded out looks at him. Ryan, on other hand, barely glanced at Jacob, pretty soon returning to poking at his food, like nothing had happened. He looked like he was still half-asleep. But Jacob couldn’t care less about that dude at the moment. 

“What?” Nick blinked, seemingly not following. 

“Yeah, what do you mean?” Dylan asked, leaning on the table, vaguely intrigued. “Did I miss something?” 

“It’s about –” Jacob couldn’t hold back an embarrassed, sheepish smile, that crawled on his lips. “Em.” 

“Oh…right, of course it is.” Dylan immediately looked bored, as if someone had flipped a switch inside his head. “It’s always about her with you, huh?” 

“Wh – no, it’s not!” 

“Yes, it is.” Dylan drawled out, eyes hooded and flat. “Oh Romeo, where is my Romeo?” 

“Did she dump you or something?” Nick chimed in, pushing a piece of broccoli inside his mouth. He was faintly smirking at angried look on Jacob’s face. “About the damn time. The summer is getting close to an end. It’s time to lose some extra weight.”

“Sick burn, man.” 

“I’m serious!” Jacob whispered-shouted, which only resulted in more recondited mockery. “I’ve – I’m asking you to help me!” 

“So she did dump you, then?”

Dylan snorted. Nick was openly smiling now. And Ryan just continued looking like he was pretty much out of it. 

“What? No. No!” Jacob shot back, glaring at them. “Don’t say that, man!”

“Why not? It’s not like she’s gonna date you outside of – umm – y’know, work and all.” Dylan supplied, getting an approving leer from Nick. “Summer affairs tend to be short-lived.” 

“Yeah, what he said.” Nick supported, mouthing another piece of his breakfast. “You win some, you lose some.” 

Jacob frowned, slowly getting frustrated with them. Those two fuckers were always ganging up on him, when it came to Em. But it wasn’t like he had much choice. He couldn’t figure it out on his own. He needed their help. Whether he wanted it or not. 

“I’m serious, dudesss.” Jacob said in a quieter, whiner voice. “I need some – uh, advice? Like pretty please?” 

“Like as in dating advice?” Dylan made a confused face. “From…us?” 

“How desperate are you?” Nick injected, also looking surprised. 

“I don’t know…very desperate?” Jacob offered, seeing a small shift in their behavior. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been asking.” 

“So you want us to help you to make Em like you again?” Dylan asked, rubbing his jaw, like he wasn’t too sure about his own wording. “Like make her get swayed by you?” 

Jacob nodded his head. “Ah, yeah. Yeeeah. I mean. Kind of?” 

“For real?” 

“Yes. Fucking damn it.” he was getting pretty angry here. “How many times do I need to repeat it?” 

Nick sighed, putting his cheek in the hollow of his palm, eyes skipping to the other end of the hall, where Emma chatted with Abi. She was fully oblivious about what they were discussing just a few feet away. Dylan looked into that direction too, humming. To their credit, they both actually seemed somewhat thoughtful now. 

“Well?” 

“I dunno, dude. Didn’t you try to like — aw fuck, I don’t know.” Dylan turned back to him. “Nick, what you’ve got? You’ve gotta have something, right?” 

Nick responded with an indifferent shrug. “Not really. I mean, did you try to do something romantic for her? Like take her to some pretty place?” 

Jacob did nothing of the kind, but this got his attention. “A pretty place? In here?” 

“Where else?” Nick said, playfully raising both of his brows up. “The town doesn’t actually have anything cool in it. And in nature…” 

“You can fuck in nature.” Dylan injected, seemingly proud of his sudden resolution “Do it the forest people style.” 

“Get it going in the bushes?” Jacob honestly thought, that they must be joking. Em would never agree to this kind of stuff. “That’s not serious, guys.” 

“Why not? You can go skinny dipping.” 

“Or you can stage it like you will.” 

“Oh.” 

Now, this was an idea. 

Jacob nodded, considering it. “Okay, okaaay. Continue.” 

“You, her aaand –” 

Dylan and Nick exchanged looks, and smiled at one another, as if knowing something, that he didn’t. 

“And?” Jacob urged, leaning over the table. “And what?” 

“And a private, secluded place. This is what you need.” Nick finished, while Dylan nodded, getting a sip of his coffee. “This will get the ball rolling.” 

“Yeah, you can surprise her and then, get some or whatever.” 

Jacob glanced at Em’s direction. Maybe, this indeed was what he needed. They don’t even had to have sex, maybe just talk about things, where no one can budge in. In the end, he just wanted to make her give him a chance. A real one. And if they’d be alone and she’ll see that he was honestly trying…this should sway her judgment, right? 

But it brings him back to another issue. 

“And where such a place might be?” 

“Uhhhh…well. I don’t know.” Nick answered, unbothered by Jacob’s fallen expression. “Somewhere?” 

“Oh come on, dude!” Jacob whined. “Don’t do this to me!” 

Nick’s state remained neutral, and Jacob started getting real worried here, but then – 

“Maybe, you should ask Ryan.” Dylan offered, pointing his fork at Mister Gloom-Doom, who barely flinched at the notion. “He knows the area better, than any of us.” 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea, actually. Ask him.” Nick murmured, getting back to his food. “Mister H probably showed him around a lot.” 

This was a good point, but it was Ryan, they were talking about. And if there was something, that everybody around here knew, it was that he and Jacob weren’t really getting along well. 

“I don’t think, that he can be –” 

“He sits right here, just ask him, geez.” Nick urged, before starting chewing on his bacon. 

Jacob looked at Ryan, and the other guy looked back at him. “So, Ryan…do you know such a place? For me and Em, I mean.”

The other teen didn’t respond. He didn’t even blink. Expression so-ever blank, the dark eyes slightly lidded. Always unimpressed and uninterested by anything or anyone. Jacob already wanted to punch him in the face. It was almost like an itch under his skin. 

“You’ve been here a lot, so –” 

“I’m not going to help you, dude.” 

He didn’t even hesitate or stammer when he said it. The asshole didn’t so much as bait an eyelid even. And while, Jacob expected it, this did nothing to prevent his temper from rising. Ryan really did pissed him off sometimes.  

“Wow, who would have thought.” Jacob bit back, childishly offended. “I mean, daaaamn. You can’t really contribute to anything, unless it’s a – let’s see, a discussion about how to deepthroat Mister H’s dick. Now, this would have been your field of knowledge, I’d imagine.” 

Dylan made a weird noise, that could have been a poorly stifled giggle, while Nick openly sniggered into his fist, masking it into a low cough. They both did a piss poor job of hiding their amusement. But Ryan himself barely raised a brow at him. 

“Nice one, Jacob.” Ryan deadpanned, taking a bite of his omelet. “I’m never going to recover from it.” 

“I’ll bet, that Mister H is into some kinky shit.” Dylan suggested. “Like some real dirty stuff.” 

“You, mean like an old pervert kind of shit?” Nick joined in, all too happy to spread rumors about their boss. “Roleplay? Or wait, the better yet. Underground BDSM club?” 

“Can you picture it?” Dylan laughed under his breath. “Mister H in leather?” 

“With some kind of torture thing.” 

“Like a paddle.” 

“Or a whip.” 

They could only hold themselves back so much, before they started laughing. Nick nearly choked on the last piece of his bacon. 

“Hey guys, can we please focus on me?” Jacob asked over their laughter, but was ignored. 

“He’s not into weird shit.” Ryan put his own two cents in, for once, looking somewhat annoyed. He always got all bristly and pissy, when they shit-talked his precious camp leader. It was almost like he cared about what they said about Mister Hackett way more, than what they said about Ryan himself. 

So typical for that guy. 

“Oh come on, Ryan. We’re just joking.” 

“Yeah, man. Chill.” 

“He can’t chill, though.” 

Everyone at the table looked up at him. The dramatic pause worked as a charm. 

If you can’t fight them, join them. 

“It gives him flashbacks.” Jacob said with a toothy smile, enjoying how Ryan’s hold on the fork tightened up as if on reflex. “Does he put you over his knee, when you’re being a bad boy, Ryan?” 

“Har-har.” Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Very funny, Jacob.” 

“What, I am just asking, man.” Jacob replied back, a smile still present on his face. “I mean, do you call him daddy? Or pappi? You look like you’d be into that!” 

Ryan’s eyes narrowed. “Are you done yet?” 

Jacob pretended to think. “Yeeeah, no wait. Wait. One last thing. Daddy Hackett.” 

This managed to send both Nick and Dylan into an absolute frenzy, they were openly laughing now, creating all kinds of rackets around the table. The other counselors and kids were glancing their way. But Jacob’s own attention was focused on Mister-Bitch-Resting-Face. He wouldn’t miss it for the world. The rare chance to see, Ryan actually losing even an inch of his cool. 

“So which one is it? You can tell us, we won’t judge!” 

“You really hang up on it, aren’t you?” 

“I don’t know.” Jacob shrugged. “What’s your favorite pose, by the way? Doggy style?” 

This finally hit the nail. Ryan’s breath hitched. His posture went rigid. And while one might mistake it for a sign of repressed anger, Jacob noticed how jerked his throat, and how quickly he went from tense to huddled, and oddly pissy, but in a very passive-aggressive way. 

Jacob had irked him for real this time. And he wasn’t about to stop. Fuck no. Why should he? Mister H’s personal Golden Boy deserved to be knocked down a peg. 

“Nothing to say for yourself, Erzahler?” 

He was anticipating his response. He waited for some sort of comeback or maybe, even something being thrown into his face. But in a second, all the pent-up energy seemingly left Ryan’s body, and his expression went back to being placid and bored. 

“Fuck off.” Ryan muttered, looking away. Defeated. 

“Awww…” Jacob coed. “Poor Ryan had –” 

“Hey, what’s going on over there?” 

Ahhh, fuck. 

He cringed, and turned over his shoulder to reassure Mister H, who was now glaring at them like a hawk. Sometimes, Jacob forgot that he was there during the morning hours too. “Nothing! It’s nothing!” 

“Nothing?” the older man’s face told him, that he wasn’t buying into Jacob’s bullshit. “It doesn’t look like nothing to me. What’s so funny, anyways?” 

“Ahh, it’s – no, really! That’s ahhh – that’s nothing, really!” Jacob waved his hand, hoping that it would pacify the other, and make the crowd stop eyeing him. Even Em was staring at him, slightly raising her brow. “This is just –” 

“Yeah, it’s nothing, Mister H.” 

Jacob paused, side-glancing at Ryan, genuinely taken aback. Not expecting him to come to Jacob’s aid, out of all people. But then, he noticed how there was a hint of light smirk on Ryan’s lips, and he immediately knew that it wasn’t anything good. Ryan might have told his jokes with a straight face, making people wonder if it was a joke at all. But he could deliver the punchline, if he really wanted to. 

“He just can’t count past forty five.” 

Some people started to laugh. Nick and Dylan laughed at this as well, not caring who was the target of their shared finger-poking. They seemed to love taking piss at everyone, really. 

“That’s –” Jacob felt his face flush with embarrassment. “That’s not true!” 

“Yeah, he slowly gets over forty six, though.” Ryan added, looking straight at him. “It’s very challenging.” 

“Fuck you!” Jacob quietly hissed, kicking Ryan into the shin under the table. Something had flashed through the other teen’s face then, and he kicked him right back. Jacob barely managed to bite back a painted groan. Ryan’s boots had a pretty heavy sole. “Ow, why you…” 

“Hope, that you like it.” 

“What?” Jacob raised his eyes and met that unbanished expression directly, and damn, he wanted to fucking throttle that prick. 

“Hey! HEY!” Mister H called out, getting up from his own seat. “Don’t make me go there, Custos!”

“What!?” he blinked, taken aback by such plain side-picking. “What did I do? Ryan is –” 

“I told you to knock it off, pal.” the older man warned him, tone serious and expression even more hardened. “I’m not jokin’ with ya. Don’t start something, that ya can't finish.” 

“But I –” 

“Calm yourself down. Now.” Mister H told him, like one would a disobedient dog and it was pretty much over, after that. At this point, it was pretty useless to try and defend himself, so he just sank back into his seat, throwing Ryan a dirty look. The other kid just scoffed at him, drawing his legs closer to the bench, and going back to straight up ignoring him. 

Fucking asshole. 

Mister H never got angry at Ryan. As if he was automatically blameless, and never guilty of anything. It got under Jacob’s skin at times. Just how easy it was for Ryan to mislead people with his quiet and usually non-conflicting persona. It’s like they literally believed, that he was any better, than an average man of their age. When he wasn’t. 

At least, Jacob wasn’t buying into that shit. There was just something very off about Ryan. Something, that made it hard to like him, but very easy to want to mess with him. He could never understand why Kaitlyn kind of liked the creep, when he didn’t even looked her way. 

But eventually, it all was sort of forgotten and Jacob went back to focusing on more important tasks such as getting Em see a real dating material in him. It was more urgent, than focusing on Ryan and how he got it all so ever easy. Besides, this plan might just work. 

Jacob felt good about this one. Real good. 

It should work out just fiiine. 

=====

It didn’t work out fine. Half-way through, he had already started suspecting that something was off. Nick and Dylan told him, that they had told Em, that Jacob told them to ask her if she would like to accompany him tonight. And then, as a final piece of their strange story, they told him, that she said yes. 

Dumbly and blindly, he had trusted their word. He went to the spot, where he was supposed to meet Emma. But it was becoming less and less likely, that she’d come. They said, that Em wanted to meet him on the Island, in the evening, when most of the counselors and campers will be getting ready for the night. But Jacob was yet to find any sign of her. Was she running later or…? 

Annoyed, he looked around, finding nothing, but well, the old boathouse. Nothing out of the ordinary. And Em was nowhere to be seen. 

Part of him suspected, that it might be a ruse. It won’t be the first time, when Nick and Dylan would use his affection for Emma to make a fool out of him. And it most likely won’t be the last. They still had a few weeks of summer left. 

Jacob re-adjusted his cap, looking up at the darkening sky. 

“Ahh, damn it…” 

The time was really running out for him, wasn’t it? 

But – 

But maybe, she was simply being fashionably late. Girls love to do this kind of thing. 

Not knowing if this all was for real or not, if Emma was still coming or not, he decided to wait it out in the boathouse. He might as well, see if she would be heading here from the higher point of the Island, rather than sulking on the bridge. 

“Okay, Jacob. Gotta wait for her a bit longer, I guess.” he told himself, filling the silence with his own voice, just to not let the anxiety take over. Perhaps, he still can get it going for him. 

Or maybe, not. 

Maybe, not today. 

He wasn’t sure how long he waited. One hour for sure, maybe more, but he nearly jumped off the second floor, when he saw a boat coming closer to an Island. Finally, she was –

But it wasn’t Emily. 

It was Mister H and…what the hell? Was it Ryan? 

They seem to not notice him too busy talking with one another. Jacob had no idea what they were discussing, he could only hear their muted voices, and see Mister Hackett nearly scrambling to get on the sandy surface, like he wanted nothing more, than to put a distance between himself and the water. 

Meanwhile, Ryan was tying the boat to the bridge pole, eyes downcast and mouth still running about whatever. As soon as he was done, he joined Chris and they walked towards –

Oh fuck. They were walking here. 

Jacob leapt away from the wooden border, heart beating loudly inside his ears. What should he do? None of the counselors were allowed to come here, after the camping activities were done with. And it was getting closer and closer toward nighttime. He would get in trouble for this! 

He couldn’t let them see him! 

The voices were getting louder and he could hear their footsteps making the old wood creak. They were fucking going up here! Damn! Damn it! 

Frantically, Jacob swiped his head around, attempting to pick a place to hide. 

Come on! Come on! 

“T-there!” he muttered to himself, feeling like he still could avoid getting caught. 

Quickly, he rushed toward one of the tables, crawling underneath it, right to the point, where there were too many chairs for them to hopefully notice him. He could hide behind them for the time being. And it wasn’t like it was actually all that bright anymore either. 

The sun was about to set in an hour or two, so maybe –

“I can’t believe, that he said it.” 

This was unmistakably Mister H’s voice. 

“He did.” 

And this low drawl was clearly Ryan. But what the fuck Ryan was even going here, and with their boss? So late too? How come that rules didn’t apply to him as well? 

Jacob could barely process what this situation even was, but he didn’t have all that much time to dwell on it. His breath came short, when both men walked through the doorway. Mister Hackett was holding a pack of…beer? And Ryan was dragging after him, seemingly familiar with this ‘routine’, like they did it before. 

And what the hell was this all about? Did Chris allow Ryan to drink at work? 

While Jacob was still somewhat shocked with this development, Ryan settled on one of the tables, putting his boot on the nearest chair, rocking it. The older man placed the beer pack right next to his hip, pausing like he had noticed something out of order. 

“And then, it’s –”

“Wait a second, bud.” 

Jacob watched in horror how Mister H took a step back from the table, and slowly rounded the room with his stare. The look inside his irises was oddly intense, not the kind that he ever saw the man having. Then, weirdly enough, Mister H’s nose twitched, like he was sniffing air. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“Ah, no…” Chris narrowed his eyes, looking from one side to another. “No, it’s just — oh, here it is.” 

He slowly stalked closer to the place, where Jacob was hiding and for a second, he thought that he was found out. But Chris reached for something, that was on the table, instead of looking underneath it. 

“Ah-ha.” judging by the sound, the olderman shook the object in his hand, before throwing it to Ryan, who caught it with ease. A bottle opener.  “I knew, that it was around here somewhere.” 

“You always forget stuff.” Ryan told him in an even voice, opening one of the bottles and hissing, when some of the foam dripped past the glass, and all over his fingers. 

“Not always.” Mister H responded, returning to his previous spot. 

“You forgot the password to your own safe the other week.” 

“It’s because I’ve changed it.” Chris chuckled at his own statement, rubbing the back of his neck as if embarrassed. “And yeah, you’ve right, I pretty much forgot, that I’ve changed it afterwards.” 

“It’s all because of the beer.” Ryan tilted his head a bit to the side, allowing Chris to take the bottle away from him. 

“Oh yeah?” the older man took a large sip, while Ryan stared at him. “Think so, mm?” 

“Yeah. It’s like – uhh –” he bit down on his lip, thinking about the word. “The Devil’s brew.” 

“The Devil’s brew?” Chris licked his lips, giving Ryan a crinky, cheery look. “I heard it somewhere before.” 

Ryan shrugs. “My grandma calls it that. And she’s like a hundred years old.” 

“Are you calling me old again?” Chris quirked a brow up. “Think, that only the old people know what it is?” 

“Not what I’ve said.” 

Ryan suddenly reached his hand, wrapping his fingers around Chris’s and tilting the bottle toward himself, taking a large gulp, that resulted in him starting coughing. It must have hit the wrong place inside his throat. Chris sighed and lightly patted him on the back, not even scolding him for such sort of behavior. 

Jacob frowned. Still confused. 

So, was Ryan allowed to drink for real, then? 

“Sh-shit…” 

“Ah, Ryan.” Mister H mumbled. “Don’t hurry. Drink in small gulps, yeah?” 

“Yeah, y-yeah, I – I know, it’s just –” Ryan wiped his mouth, right afterwards grabbing Chris’s uniform and tugging him a bit closer. “I kind of…uhh. I kind of tired of waiting.” 

“Ohhh…I see.” Chris drew out, understanding something, that Jacob didn’t. “How cruel of me to deny you this, mm? Want to get it on now already, champ?” 

Slowly, Ryan nodded, still gripping the lapel of Chris’s shirt. Still staring him dead in the eyes. And if Jacob didn’t know any better, he’d thought, that they were about to make out with one another. But –

No. 

Now, that would have been fucking weird, if they did. Like as if every lewd joke, that he and the boys made about Ryan and Mister H had suddenly turned out to be true. 

“I’m better start, before ya'll get all impatient, then.” Chris said, voice getting lower, deeper. “You’re ready for it, right?” 

Another nod. 

“Y-yeah.” 

Chris’s hands brushed the back of Ryan’s neck. “Good.” 

Behind the bunch of chairs, crumpled in tiny space, Jacob took it all in. There was a lot of familiarity between them. And it’s not like no one had ever noticed it before. It was enough to just look at them interacting, really. But it felt so much more casual now, somehow. Like Ryan and Chris were hanging out like this all the time. 

It felt so weird to see it happening without them knowing, that he was there. But his brain had only truly zeroed out, went completely blank, when Mister H took a hold of Ryan’s chin, in a gesture so sure and confident, like it was done time after time, and pressed their mouths together. 

Jacob’s own mouth involuntarily hung open, as he stared and stared, as if it would disappear or he would wake up. But it did not. And he didn’t wake up with a gasp. Instead, it was Ryan, who gasped into the older man’s lips, slightly aching into Chris’s other hand, when it crawled up his leg, right under his undershirt. 

And holy moly, it got intense pretty fast from there. Jacob wasn’t expecting them to just go for it, like that. Not that he expected them to go for it at all. But the kiss turned from somewhat slow into a dirty one, and he couldn’t foresee Ryan even knowing how to kiss, but he clearly knew what he was doing. Moving his jaw and grabbing Chris’s arm, trembling fingers pressing into his tattoo, sliding against heated skin while the older man sucked all the air out of his lungs. 

It was as if he attempted to choke him with the kiss alone. 

And Ryan was clearly into it too. Into not able to breath, aside from panicked, fastered inhales and exhales through his nose. It wasn’t the first time, when they did it, clearly. So how many times…? No, wait. Why does he even think about that!? 

It was so odd and wrong, but also, he probably shouldn’t be all that shocked, considering that Ryan never hid his apparent boner for Mister H. And speaking of boners, Jesus…

It didn’t take Mister H long to just slam his hips between Ryan’s spread legs, and lightly rub against him, while they were making out. Ryan seemed pleased, eager even. 

And this was weird too. Jacob could never imagine Chris as someone, who was this straightforward and latently aggressive. Sure, the guy had a bit of a temper at times, but usually, Mister H was pretty tame and somewhat polite. For him to just eat face with one of his counsellors like that? 

What was going on?

“Mhh!” 

Ryan made another noise, twitching against Chris and sort of attempting to reach for his belt, but his hand was stopped half-way. Mister H just kept it there against his hip, not allowing it to go any further, sort of jamming it against his growing erection. And yeah, Jacob could see it from his place, thank you very much. 

“C-come on…” Ryan rasped, when they separated after what seemed like an hour. “I need t-to –” 

He took a deep breath, still unable to recover, while Chris only smiled at him. It wasn't an unkind smile either. It was pretty warm and found, but also knowing and vexed. 

“You’re really inpatient today, buster.” Chris noted. “Can’t hold it back?” 

“Y-yeah…” Ryan sucked in another shaky breath, and nodded, watching Chris through half-lidded eyes. “I just really want you to…uh…y’know to uh…” 

“To fuck ya silly?” Chris asked, and it was so bizzare hearing him saying something like that. For a moment Jacob honestly thought, that he was asleep and it wasn’t for real. But then it got worse, “Raw you up for good, eh?” 

Ryan’s face flushed, and he slightly turned his head away, but Chris wrenched it back, using a grip on his jaw. His other hand relaxed his hold around Ryan’s wrist, and snaked back under the younger man’s shirt. He was in less hurry now, as if merely wishing to prolong this torture for everyone inside the room. 

“Wanna get all handsy with me, Ryan?” 

“Chris –!” 

Ryan couldn’t quite double-over, pretty much stuck with Mister H keeping him in place by his body and hands, and table not letting him go anywhere else. For a moment, Jacob wondered how Ryan could stand this much body contact and heat, but at the same time still long for more. 

Jacob got dirty with at least four girls in his lifetime, and neither of them looked so willing and eager to push even further, to be even closer, than this. 

But Ryan did. His whole body shivered, either from whatever Chris did under his shirt or maybe, because he wasn’t allowed to go any further than this just yet. It must have driven a guy nuts. It would have driven Jacob nuts for sure. 

“I, I –” 

“Ryan.” it wasn’t even addressed to him, but Jacob felt his guts twisting with uncomfortable heat. “Ryan…” 

Jacob has no idea how Chris could sex up that prick’s name like this, but there was a lot of emotion behind it. Warm and lingering, earning like a need, that could find no release. 

“C-can I –” Ryan swallowed. “Can I…now?” 

“No.” Chris shook his head, watching Ryan’s expression crumble a bit. “You have to wait a bit longer.” 

It seemed like Ryan was about to disagree, but instead his face went back to being unreadable, as he peered back at Chris. His fingers curled around the bulge in the older man’s pants, forcing him to let out a sigh as if in praise. 

“Ryan –”

“Y-you started it first.” 

Chris snorted, caressing Ryan’s jaw, pressing one finger near the corner of his mouth. “Cheeky, are ya?” 

Ryan gave him a faint half-smile, hooking one of his legs around Mister H’s hip. “I’m twenty.” 

“I know, bud.” Chris muttered, mouth hoovering near Ryan’s, as if in a promise of a kiss. “I know.” 

Helpless to do much, but continue watching them, Jacob couldn’t prevent himself from getting a bit reflective. They really stared at one another a lot, while they were at it, he noticed. And it was pretty much the opposite of how it went down between Jacob and Emma. She would rather keep her eyes closed and then, just shrug off his advances, like it meant nothing. 

It’s just summer fun, she told him with that cute smile and light pitch of her brows, and – 

It was kind of humiliating, that the guy, who he kind of hated, certainly got a better game, than he did. Mister H took Ryan to the woods at times, where they were supposedly hiking together, but now, Jacob wondered if this, - this right here - was what they were really doing in the forest. 

Was Mister H raw doggying Ryan in the open? Right in the woods? Just a couple of miles away from the camp? 

He seemingly had no problem banging him here. So yeah, probably. 

It still barely made any sense inside his head, it was buzzing and buzzing to no end. Was he really seeing it? Them together? There must be something with his brain or…?

Ryan let out a keen. 

And this was the loudest and the most emotional noise, that he ever heard him making. 

Involuntary, Jacob backed away further into the wall, blinking rapidly. Chris’s hand was twisting Ryan’s nipple under his shirt, if he had to guess. Ryan was openly panting, as Chris pushed his big finger into his mouth, watching him grow even redder in the face. 

And yeah, okay maybe there was an appeal to it. Even Jacob had to admit, that the creepy asshole did look kind of nice like this. When he wasn’t all arrogant and gloomy, carrying that large stick up his ass. Instead, remaining pinned and manhandled. And quite, save from needy voices. 

[mischas]

Ok so I think about them an unhealthy amount so here's the ask I asked about a while ago.

Their sexual dynamics are kinda fascinating and in another show that would've been explored more. (I have so many questions- some of them are on a literary level and the others not so much lol)

Marissa said that they never had a problem with attraction and being emotionally unavailable made them want each other more. Their difference in experience and how it might have affected their dynamic- ex: Ryan sleeping with Theresa soon after splitting with Marissa (who had a regretful sexual experience with her ex and was waiting with Ryan) because of old habits, but she said like one line about it and that's it. (Now that I think about it, it's weird that Ryan said before their date that he's never, like, fully dated girls before aside from hooking up even though Theresa existed, I guess he wasn’t counting that because it was on and off?). We saw how Marissa's trauma of being assaulted affected their sex life but only for like one time when it's an interesting discussion too, and so could've been the Gabrielle predatory thing (when he said that he was with another girl and Marissa pointed out that she was a woman- knowing this show she probably meant it in a "omg she's so experienced im so jealous" kinda way but it's clear that her being older wasn't ok for her, at least not as ok as it was for him.

There's also all the sexual jealousy (as it's apparent from my asks, MV jealousy era was my favourite for being funny af, but there's also Ryan/Gabrielle and Luke/Marissa which were just painful) but also despite the intensity, there's a bit of assurance and comfort there ("what strippers? I don't know any strippers"/"you got a lap dance?"). They were being walked in on all the time and Marissa did say she wasn’t into PDA much (but I'm not sure if it was about Trey?) they were also "one of those couples" which means they didn’t keep their hands off each other, either. Ooh there is so much material lol- I shudder to think but HBO Ryissa would've been like 👀

You know this is something I was thinking about a few weeks ago. I'm probably not gonna answer this well but it's gonna be long. So first off, it is very insane for Marissa to say that she and Ryan were going at it during all of s3 when the narrative is relatively sexless for every couple until it's turned up wildly in 3x18 for a ratings and demographic shift (other people can speak about this better than I). I've talked about that 3x18 line before and it's so weird to shoehorn it in like they do; we're supposed to believe RM have been fucking this whole time? What? 3x14 showed us in their intimate scene that they haven't been doing this a lot since it serves as a means of reuniting them. But, hey, maybe they have and it's just weird shit between M/B that kept it from our consciousness. But like I said earlier, this season was so sexless until much later when it's turned up to 100 (and those irl dynamics were also very bad so like.... mess).

We're also supposed to believe RM didn't sleep together after 2x20 when "I think we can do better than the front seat of Sandy's car" is insanely suggestive. Not to say they did it right after getting back together but like....... idk. Them only having sex for the first time in 3x03 is narratively so far-fetched. Obv there weren't a lot of times they could in s2 since they're kept apart for plot reasons and then as soon as they reunite the Trey stuff happens.

BUT

Their comfortability in mid-s1 when they're dating is so easy. It's very hard to believe these teens weren't sleeping together. Ryan is largely unsupervised and pretty much has his own apartment! And they're both not virgins as we know. It's only when Marissa says in 1x19 that they haven't that we all have to be like oh??? And it's a teen soap so these things are usually documented for the audience, but still it's like please. Especially after 1x14.

All that said, lol, the way I see RM approaching intimacy is that from a young age neither of the two really associate sex with love. We know Ryan's experienced by 16 (though I personally think he exaggerates how many girls he's been with). There's at least Theresa who clearly did not exist in the narrative until 1x11. There's no way she and her mom wouldn't be in Ryan's mind when he's been abandoned in 1x01 and calling all his friends for a place to stay. So!!

For whatever (plot) reason, RM don't sleep together until 3x03. But Marissa rushes into sex with Luke in 1x06 for all the reasons I mentioned here. And she's incredibly hurt in 1x26/1x27 to learn that Ryan rushed into sex with Theresa right after their breakup. She spends the summer between s1 and s2 thinking about that and probably assuming they have sex then too (she looks surprised to hear in 2x02 that it "wasn't like that at all"). And then she starts having casual sex with DJ that summer. The DJ storyline is so so bad from its inception but we're at least led to believe she's sexually active. They tried to make DJ a viable romantic option but it was so bad from the start that at least it finally ends.

Marissa doesn't even get to associate sex with real, heartfelt romantic feelings until Alex and that's then pulled out like a rug from under her before they pivot her back to Ryan when Lindsay leaves. So she still doesn't associate sex with love. THEN she's assaulted and goes through all that fun trauma. R/L have a few scenes that imply they may be sleeping together but I think if they did we'd have seen it or at least heard about it.

Which brings us to 3x03 and RM both being in a place where sex and love can be working together. I think Ryan has love for Theresa but let's be honest that boy will never be ~in~ love with her and that's a major missing part of their relationship. 3x03 gives us the heightened Hawaii plot and that positions RM to realize this is the time because she's leaving and you know It's About The YearningTM. I don't think the scene itself is great because of the choreography and the stupid editing but what leads up to it "Are you sure? It'll make it that much harder for you to leave" is just SOOOOOOO

If we understand that RM have been having a bunch of loveless, emotionally unavailable sex in s3 I don't think it's much of a stretch to imagine them jumping into bed with the people they then jump into bed with in late s3. And in many ways it's like as soon as they were able to marry sex and love in 3x03, they reverted back to these people who saw it as something else. That speaks to how s3 was so fucking bad.

A few things:

Yeah I think the PDA line in 2x22 carried over to 2x23 is only really about Trey and her bruise that she's concerned with; their PDA in front of their friends in 1x15 meant nothing to them. I can't imagine they cared more about schoolmates seeing them than they did their friends (and Marissa's ex)

I think M is so hurt about Gabrielle in 1x06 and 1x07 for all those reasons. That she's older "Actually, I think she was a woman" and that Ryan could hook up with someone random the same day he's all but asked her to make a romantic choice "the last time I saw you, you kind of had your hands full"

The way that Marissa has quiet confidence in Ryan with other women is very sweet in 1x26 "what about strippers?", 2x21 "South Beach for a little spring break action?" and 3x09 "you got a lap dance?" it's actually very interesting to contrast that with Seth who kisses women in BOTH Vegas and Miami when he's still in a quasi-relationship with Summer at the time

I know for a fact I didn't answer this very eloquently (if I answered it at all) but it's a really interesting subject!

Also, considering I head canon RM being FWB in college I think it'd take a while for them to acknowledge how in love they've always been with one another. Because of their shared traumas, lingering resentments, trust issues, etc. *cue 'tis the damn season*

[id-rather-be-home]

hey user bttmike here (it’s my side blog so I unless I ask anonymously people would see my main blog lol)

I was gonna comment on the recent ask since you asked for opinions but I guess I’m rambling a lot bc the space wasn’t enough odjfoenfof anyway here is my useless opinion:

I didn’t see it that way at all! In that chapter will was kinda going through the motions of internalised homophobia and pda considering the 80s but it was very clear why he was feeling that way. And it didn’t leak into the sex part of the chapter at all. To me he was comfortable with it, he wasn’t disgusted.

I also don’t think you write him out of character. If anything you portray it really well. I believe his playful and teasing self that we see sometimes in the show would be a huge part of his sex life. We don’t get to see more of it in the show bc they’re fighting monsters most of the time but the blissful few and far between moments where everything is normal, Will is a little shit and I’m here for it!!

He blatantly flirts with Mike -he doesn’t actually but that’s the point it’s natural for him- and this happens when he thinks the boy is straight! Imagine how bigger this part of him will get once they’re together. You’re telling me he doesn’t poke Mike on the nose and squishes his cheek just to see Mike get so flustered? Lol.

I think once he’s comfortable with Mike in a sexually intimate way after the initial few times, he let’s his personality lurk in the bedroom and shows the same behaviour during their sex life too.

This reminded me of a sentence you wrote regarding the one shot with them doing the deed in the car. It was something along the lines of they can get freaky in the sheets just for the pleasure and not just to be closer physically, like it didn’t have to be romantic.

Anyway, I didn’t see any disgust or ooc behaviour. Would love to read other people’s opinions too!

omg heyyyy i love your blog!!

i'm very glad that the internalized homophobia and pda discomfort that will was experiencing in the beginning of the chapter didn't leak into the sex scene! i didn't think that it did, especially since i feel i made it very clear WHY will was feeling and behaving the way he was in the beginning of the chapter

AND YES will teases mike all the time when we see them being just... regular teenagers in the show! i think some people tend to forget that will is a little shit - he's sassy, never takes mike's shit, and stands up for himself when he has to/feels like it's safe enough for him to do so. did everyone forget the s3 scene of him going "is it early, michael?" which is literally the type of teasing will is doing in my fanfic during the sex scenes! it's never supposed to come across as mean or stoic

and, yeah! byler in my story right now is also starting to explore sex in a "oh hey, it doesn't have to be soft and romantic all the time even though we love each other, it can also be about letting of steam and just having fun with what feels good" way in my story. which i think is a natural progression in anyone's sex life

[mariacallous]

In a subreddit dedicated to Baldur’s Gate 3, Larian Studios’ critically acclaimed Dungeons & Dragons–based role-playing game, a player posed an important question: “I know you probably heard this here more times than I can count but seriously, why is everyone so horny?”

There was a practical element to this query. In a different game, what is or isn’t horny is largely subjective (what you perceive as horny and what I perceive are probably different), but Baldur’s Gate 3 doesn’t operate on subtext alone. A major social aspect of the game is romancing party members, from the sharp-jawed blood-sucking Astarion to the mysterious Shadowheart. Shortly after the game’s release in August, players noticed that some party members—particularly the wizard Gale—were harder to discourage than others in the dating department. For some players, the especially amorous adventurers in their group were making it difficult to pursue the ones they wanted. Others found the aggressive flirting off-putting. As one player put it: “Gale telling me I'm handsome and sexy in the middle of a cursed shadow forest without any inputs from the player is kinda strange.”

Sex and romance were built into Baldur’s DNA, and Larian leaned into the game’s sexual nature early in the process. According to the BBC, the team even used an intimacy coordinator—professionals who help choreograph intimate scenes and ensure a sense of safety and comfort between actors and production—during recording sessions. There’s even a scene where you can have sex with a druid character … while he’s in his bear form.

Speedrunners were happy to play along, creating an entire run category specifically for how fast you could bed a companion. The top runner, who goes by Mae, told WIRED back in August that it was initially a “joke run.” “I didn’t really feel any pressure to do well or anything,” Mae says. “It was to be funny and put it out there that, ‘Hey, by the way, you can bang in like, eight minutes.’”

The category quickly picked up a following, though Mae still holds the current top record with one minute and 58 seconds. “In romance runs especially, I think it goes against the cliché of some dude assembling a harem of brainless women,” Mae says. “Especially in a game like this where, frankly, the companions have so much more emotional depth than anything we’ve seen previously in video games.”

Still, Baldur’s Gate 3 leaned in a little too hard, even for the developers. Game director Swen Vincke told TheGamer that characters being desperate to jump your bones was actually a bug, not a feature. “The approval thresholds were too low when we shipped,” Vincke said. “That's why they were so horny in the beginning. It wasn't supposed to be that way. We've fixed it since, at least for some of them. We're still fixing a few.” The goal had been to create relationships that were more like those in real life.

Gale was the first character patched to keep his pants on. (He “wasn't supposed to be like, instantly there,” Vincke said in that interview.) Earlier this month, another party member, Lae'zel, was singled out in the game’s notes for Patch #4. “For Lae'zel to decide to romance you, you no longer only need to gain high enough approval from her. You must also have proven yourself worthy through your actions,” Larian wrote. (Speedrunners within the community, including Mae, claim Lae'zel can still be romanced in the same ways.)

The speedrunning community currently has two different categories for its sex speedruns: Pre-Patch 4 and Patch 4+, though the latter has yet to clock any official runs.

Larian created a vast playground for players to explore. There is far more to Baldur’s Gate 3 than lusting after party members, whether it’s the game’s writing, actor performances, or complex combat. Even as Larian has patched out the bugs that made its cast especially lascivious, it’s the community that has carried on the horny torch, finding new ways to speedrun around changes. Players are the one thing you can’t patch.

With the game’s upcoming launch on Xbox, still expected sometime this year, a new wave of console gamers will soon join that community. The traditional sex speedrun may have reached its zeitgeist, but players are far from done. Earlier this month, a speedrunner named “weedmoder” achieved a new record for sleeping with the game’s beddable bear, finishing with a time of 50 minutes and 30 seconds. Their gift to the community was a tutorial of how they did it, posted online—a reminder that, for once, how long you last is all about how fast you finish.

[awkwardcreature789]

8, 13, 25 (just picked random numbers idk what the questions even are)

Hello there Anon. *stares up at you w/ my autistic eyes*

(need to update reaction pic to accurate design but whatever)

Tattoos, biggest turn ons, perfect date. Ok uh-

Tattoos- yes I do want tattoos in the future, I want a semicolon tattoo on my left wrist, and maybe a few silly tattoos hidden on myself like Easter eggs yknow? I want a pentacle on my back though because wiccan shit is awesome 👏 and I for sure want to get a matching tattoo with my mom (and maybe my sister when she’s older lol)

Biggest turn ons- i live in Texas so I can answer this one I suppose lol- I am Demisexual and Pansexual, but I’ll answer hypothetically and also for all genders/presentations- I am a very intimate-sexual person, so sex for me should be about love and showing one another your love for each other through pleasure and intimacy, so a slow burn kind of thing? Idk- My biggest ones are gently tracing my skin, whispering sweet nothings, gentle but also firm dom asserting kinda stuff but like I’m fragile so be nice lol- also praise and reward- and being sensual too like- AUGHGHHHHHH oh and when the other person makes noises and says my name even though I’m the most bottomest bottom there is AAAAAAAGGAGAUUAGGAHHAGAGAHSH but honestly I’m so easy to fluster and make a panicked blushing mess it’s not even funny lmao- I’m a fragile submissive pillow princess who’s insecure and anxious and likes to see I’m not the only one being vulnerable 👍 like bro if we making out and you tell me you love me over and over BITCH I AM YOURS- TAKE ME AWAY- HOUSEWIFE INSTANTLY- I WILL MELT- anyways yes I have daddy issues and need a tall gentle dom daddy for my bf (or tall gentle dom mommy if i want the gf) I AM WEAK AND FRAGILE SO TREAT ME AS SUCH AAAAAAA-

mkay perfect date, we order Chinese takeout and then go to their house or apartment or whatever and we sit in a calm environment and paint/draw each other. Other perfect one if the art isn’t arting, we order Chinese takeout and binge MHA/BNHA or Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss, while cuddling up together under a blanket.

[dzpenumbra]

7/25/23

A bit late tonight. I am pleased to say I slept very well. I am not happy to say I had very disturbing dreams.

Dreams of my family, and my family's home. A lot of very "acid-trip" surreal imagery. I swear, sometimes the only real difference between a weed-freakout, a severe panic attack and a bad nightmare is the... physical sensations and visceral emotions. I don't really feel like I get them in dreams so much. I get them after I wake up, absolutely. The racing heart, adrenaline coursing through your veins, that kinda shock to the system. But I don't know if I really feel that while I'm dreaming, while I'm still asleep. I don't know, maybe I do and I just haven't had one of those nightmares in a while. Guess I can count myself lucky that I don't even remember.

This dream was a bit more disturbing in hindsight by how... normalized all of the disturbing imagery was. Having my younger brother completely ignore most of what I'm saying to him, regardless of the context. Being looked at with constant suspicion and scrutiny. I had just... grown so fucking accustomed to being treated that way. Even from my little brother, who is supposed to like... look up to me. And for what reason? Fuck if I know. Because I have differing thoughts, ideas and opinions from my parents. Go figure.

The whole goal of the dream from what I could remember was... I was with a very beautiful woman, who was clearly my to-be partner in the dream. Though... she was wearing bold red lipstick which I really am not a fan of. But I kinda just looked past it. The goal was to shower with her, which for me is much less of a sexual act than a romantic one. One of very close bonding. My very few shared shower memories are all very fun, playful, close, intimate conversations. So really... the goal, in a nutshell... though it may appear to others and would most likely be read by most interpreters very directly as a sexual goal... is pretty far from that for me specifically. The goal is clearly deep, meaningful human connection; specifically comfort and bonding with another while being vulnerable. And every other person in the dream was very clearly the antithesis of this. Very distant, cold, skeptical, alienating, walls-up.

The other figure was my mom. This came up after me and my "partner" went to the downstairs bathroom, the one I used to shower in high school because the shower closest to my bedroom broke and my parents never even tried to get it fixed. When I went in there, I saw her two dogs... but they took the form of lions. Very sickly, emaciated skeletons of lions. I wasn't even remotely scared of them, I was just... deeply sad. I just got out of their way as they lumbered by. And that's really the metaphor. When you get a "guard dog" and forget that it's a living being with feelings and emotions and bonds... and you neglect them for extended periods of time... you can get a mixed bag of results. (Just like if you do that to people...) With these poor souls, they were no threat to anyone. They were barely fed. And they were lying in a bathroom covered in shit. Like this bathroom had become their cave, their hiding spot.

The partner figure and I started to clean the shit off the floor. I went out of the bathroom and ran into my mom, who was acting like this was completely normal. As usual. Bless her heart, if there's one thing I could give that woman, it would be courage. Shame you can't just give that to people. I was looking for paper towels to clean. She very casually warned me about a certain type of shit in the bathroom, very vaguely too... and then went about her business. I remember on the table there was a like... 8" diameter section of a log... it looked like a red pine kinda... which doesn't grow in that area, but I did find at the National Park nearby, all the bark looks like puzzle pieces, it's very oddly beautiful. This one had what looked like maple seeds growing out of it, it was a really odd combination of beautiful and... disturbing. I still don't fully know what to make of that. But my mom seemed all-in-all very dismissive and aloof. So we went back to cleaning up.

The woman I was with got to the type of shit we were warned about and it kinda half-exploded and stained her shirt. I just casually and genuinely said "don't worry, you can just borrow one of mine." Again, turning the focus back to intimacy, bonding, connection; making the best out of a... shitty... situation. But when I looked up at the stain, the stain was on a beer belly. It wasn't her. She had morphed into an overweight version of what looked like Spencer Sotelo, the singer from Periphery. And I guess that was enough for me to go "fuck this" and wake myself up. XD

I still haven't fully been able to parse why him specifically. The only real association I've had to him beyond just admiring his vocal abilities - which is very separate from a personality opinion, for me - was in one of the Periphery documentaries where... I kinda jumped to the conclusion that he was sort of a snobby upperish class California type. If you know what I mean... And I could be right, I could be wrong, I have no idea. It's hard to form an opinion on someone's personality from clips in a documentary... But what matters in context of this dream is what kind of associations I have with that specific symbol. And that's the association I had with that man. And I guess what it was kinda getting at was a hint I didn't really take in the beginning... the lipstick. I think the message was like... "okay, you didn't get it with the makeup, so... let's make this message much more clear..." And what's the message? Artificiality. Seeking a bond, seeking intimacy... with a mask. With someone who wears fur coats and gets their hair styled, but at home has a beer gut and a drinking problem. You know what I mean?

I endured so much shit from my family, so much disrespect. (I'm kinda editing this rant a little just to make sure I don't go on for too long and I'm gonna skip to the point.) All for... a taste of genuine human connection, bonding. Which turned out to be fake all along. I could acknowledge, see and find compassion for the way I was treated by my family. That was a big overt theme in the dream too, explicitly displaying genuine compassion while being treated like garbagio. Because of a very present awareness that their crappy action was directly sourcing from their own suffering. But the one person I could not see clearly at all... was the person I wasn't even looking at. The person I implicitly trusted. The person right by my side, the person whose entire role was to bond with me. Who chose that role, volunteered. They turned out to be the deceiver. So... I guess... as shitty as I've been treated by my family... I guess in a sick way I'm kinda glad that they're so... blatant about it. Now I'm just scared of the shapeshifters... the mask wearers... well... I guess more scared of my ability to detect them properly, especially when they are in a role like... someone who wants to bond with me. That does seem to be when I just get all starry eyed and blindly optimistic and shit.

Anyway, that was what I woke up to. But I got a good decent amount of sleep. I did wake up to creaks at one point but... I think I got back to sleep? I don't remember.

I've been pretty slow moving today. But despite that... I got a ton done on the grip tape. Finished outlining, then did shading on both the red and the gold pedals. Like... literally everything is done except for adding in details now. And maybe interior shading if I choose to do that. I have no clue what to do for pedal details, I'm just gonna wing it and then mirror the improvisation. That's what I usually do. I'm really proud of myself. That was a big step.

ALSO... I went outside my comfort zone with shading a bit. I usually use black for shading... I know... I kinda got used to the look of it, and it can have some kinda comic-book-like appearance to it... and a lot of my past work was monochromatic... but I decided to go outside my comfort zone and play around more with using color for shading. The red pedal basecoat is a mix of Alizarine Crimson and Dioxazine Purple, heavy on the crimson though. So I decided to do a wash of a mostly purple mix for shading... and pure crimson for a highlight. I... might have to lighten the highlight, even the pure crimson is a bit too low value for my comfort. I might even add a tiny bit of gold to it so it looks like it's reflecting the light from the gold leaves underneath. The gold... I was going to use the purple too... but decided instead to go with a mix of the metallic gold, a tiny touch of the purple to get the red from it and some Pthalo Blue. I watered that the fuck down and gave it a wash and it came out pretty damn good. It definitely gave the piece a lot more depth.

So yeah, a lot of big art steps today. Going outside of my comfort zone, on a piece that is bound to be destroyed, while improvising a design... on something that's going to be very visible... I'm proud of myself for it. It feels good.

I rewarded myself by getting a game I've had my eye on for a while, which was on sale. Mini Motorways. Holy crap did I get sucked into that. It's the perfect mix of simplicity, difficulty, calm and brain-frying all at the same time. Highly recommend, very easy to learn too.

I guess that's about it. Bed time.