#it’s just. focusing on the aspects that i feel like people don’t care as much about lmao

[mabaris]

honestly tho i think the fallow mire is the best map in inquisition. the rest of them try to be TOO big because they’re chasing the open world feel and. plenty of other people have spoken, better than i could, about how it makes them feel empty and like they’re just fluff for fetch quests to pad out playtime hours

but the fallow mire is still PLENTY big and feels much more dense because there’s less empty space and overall just. less Going On. i know it’s the dragon age protagonist’s job to get involved in every problem, but i do like how most of the quests seem tighter, related to each other and the overall plot. and it feels more true to the scale of like, kirkwall and og redcliffe and haven

[p1utofairy]

★ your next glow up?

note — i wasn't gonna post this now but i figured fuck it why not?! enjoy, my loves! this is for entertainment purposes only <3 take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. p.s. come in my ask box and tell me what you think!

PILE ONE.

pile mf ONE, you are really stepping into a new era! when i tell you this new you is gonna turn HEADS. tuh, you’re gonna be looking like new money. nicki minaj’s ‘new body’ verse is coming to mind lol “you ain’t fuck me, you fucked the old body. you ain’t fuck nicki, you fucked nicole body! ain’t no miles on this here new body, off with they heads these bitches is nobody’s.” OH YEAH OKAYYY, PILE 1. maybe you’ll be hitting the gym more, switching up your diet or possibly getting some cosmetic work done?

whatever you’re doing differently, it’s gonna be noticeable. people are gonna feel like something changed with you overnight like “um when did pile 1 get so bad?” and this isn’t to say you aren’t already attractive…there’s just something about your energy and confidence that just amplified x1000 and people are really gonna feel and see this change in you. you might start experimenting with your outfits a little more, giving off a more seductive vibe. it’s like you're breaking out of your comfort zone especially if you usually opt for baggier clothes or a more conservative look. wait cause why am i thinking of ‘pretty little liars’ when emily is talking to aria about hanna and she’s like “haven’t you heard? she’s the it girl now.” PERIOD, PILE ONE. giving serena page vibes from love island.

there will be a lot of talk about you and even if you don’t hear it directly, trust me, people are gonna try to keep tabs on you. i��m seeing people re-watch your instagram stories tryna figure out who took you that place and who you’re doing it with — oh these people are spiralingggg. this could very well be potential suitors tryna scope out the scenery, but they’re not sure if you’ll be interested in them. they might fear rejection because you just look so damn good and it looks like you’re in such a better space in life and got your shit together; whereas they feel like they lack the resources/finances to be with you. these potential love interests see you as high value, pile 1. they’re intimidated by your beauty and aura. you’ll be more so focused on attracting a partner that can actually make shit happen.

you don’t have time for the cat and mouse games. you want the real deal and i do see you getting the person that you want. you manifested this person into your life and i sense them feeling like they won the lottery with you! i’m hearing that you are sooo mesmerizing on the outside and your heart & personality makes you so much more beautiful. there’s layers to you and i think this next glow up will allow you to really shine and be yourself unapologetically – you’re leaning into the different aspects of yourself that makes you unique. if there’s anything you’ve got your mind set on or something specific you want to do, go for it! whatever you do, you’ll stand out effortlessly and be successful. say yes by floetry is coming to mind. “see, i’ve been watching you for awhile…your smile and style. wanna know if i can be with you for the night, alright.” i meannnnn need i say more?!

how to tap into this energy?

listen closely to your intuition! work on your third eye because i’m hearing that you’re a powerful manifester and you don’t even truly know it. even if you do know this, you start doubting yourself and limiting your own thoughts. always think big and bigger because it’s in your reach. don’t get so caught up in the “how?” because your manifestations can appear in many different ways, not just one. you have a clear vision into the future – you just gotta adjust your lens and focus on what it is that YOU want. who cares if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else, as along as you see the vision then it’s a go! listen to ‘i want it all’ by sharpay evans lol you need to embody that song and its energy.

PILE TWO.

hey, pile 2! i’m hearing you’ve been putting up with the bullshit for wayyyy too long and this next glow up is gonna be a proper FUCK YOU to all your haters! i feel like people take your kindness for weakness and you feel like you don’t get the respect you deserve. you can deal with a lot of passive aggression in your relationships or friendships and people expect for you to suck it up and be okay with it. what i’m mainly picking up is that you like to keep the peace. you don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feather, but it just makes it worse for you because you’re not truly expressing yourself and your emotions. this keeps you up at night like “ugh! i should’ve said this or I should’ve stuck up for myself and finally cussed so and so tf out.” but you don’t because you know why, pile 2? you’re better than them, simple as that.

you wouldn’t treat anybody how some people treat you, and the reality is that it’s so much harder to be nice than it is to be mean. anybody can be mean and say hurtful shit if they really wanted to, but to always be graceful and kind in the face of adversity and ignorance? rare af. +10000 aura points! don’t let anybody make you feel less than or like you can’t speak up for yourself. this next glow up you’re going to use your voice and really make it known that you are not to be fucked with, okay?! you will be standing your ground and really popping your shit in the most calm and collected way possible & people are gonna be like “wait…did [y/n] really just clock me like that?!” and you’re gonna be standing 10 toes down on it as you should. they’ll have no choice but to respect you lol. you will start to realize what is worth your time & energy and what isn’t.

you might start cutting off people that don’t mean you any good and really start to focus on yourself and your energy. no more walking on egg shells and sparing peoples feelings, this is YOUR life and you have a voice just as much as they do – so use it! i think you’ll also be meeting new friends & a potential love interest during this next glow up. i’m hearing ‘how stella got her groove back’ lol so yeah some of you might be playing the field a little bit.

some of you might just want something casual and nothing more because you just want to focus on your own healing journey. you’ll start to understand why things had to happen the way that they did & why certain relationships didn’t work out the way that you thought they would. you’ll be able to decipher what you are and aren’t willing to put up with and honestly i just see you bossing tf up and advocating for yourself no matter who doesn’t like it. that tiktok “nobody loves you baby! you should only love yourself – ON MY SOUL!” just randomly came to me lmfaooo this is your ‘i’m focusing on what really matters aka me’ era and i think it’s exactly what you need pile 2.

how to tap into this energy?

i think you need to transmute the negative energy that people try to project on you into something positive. 12:12 on the clock, yeah. like look at this way, if people doubt you, don’t respect you or don’t feel like your capable of achieving great things then use that to your advantage. let them underestimate you all they want, and then BAM boss up on them and show them who tf you are. what they don’t know only makes you stronger. you have the power to make some powerful ass connections and make a name for yourself so be calculated & strategic with your moves. people will be eating their words when it comes to you, pile 2.

PILE THREE.

pile 3 your next glow up is gonna be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster ngl, but very rewarding nonetheless. i’m hearing that one tiktok sound “you gotta take the good with the bad, smile with the sad. love what you got and remember what you had.” so yeah i think you’re really gonna be figuring out how to transmute your energy and create something from it – whether that be a job opportunity, a love offer, a trip, etc. there’s something that you really want and you’re doing the work to make it happen. you have the plan, you just need the platform lol.

for some of you, i see a major relationship coming to an end. this could be a lover or a best friend, but this person will be exposed because they’re not who you thought they were. this person has very sneaky/deceptive energy and you’ve been in the dark about this for way too long. this person/connection means a lot to you, so you will feel like this is a tough situation to completely walk away from; but my sweet pile 3’s you will be more than okay! you will be spectacular! 10:10 was just on the clock.

allow yourself to sort through your emotions and learn from the situation, don’t let it weigh you down. sometimes we get too caught up in how long we’ve been with somebody and all of the good memories we made with them, that makes us hesitant to move on. sometimes things just run its course and you’re no longer in alignment with that person. you can’t force anything or anyone in your life that doesn’t align with your highest self and that can be very hard to process when emotions are involved but i’m happy to let you know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

i see some of you traveling to a place you’ve always wanted to go and possibly meeting a potential love interest. in this next glow up, you’ll be doing things that you’ve always wanted to do cause there’s no one holding you back. you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and just taking a leap of faith – high risk, high reward. you’re gonna be making time for yourself and also prioritizing your hobbies/interests. this is beautiful, pile 3. i see you really getting in touch with who you are at the core. be kind and gentle with yourself, because you are a precious gem that a lot of people value and care about.

how to tap into this energy?

stop giving your power away. work on your throat chakra, my loves. your voice is your power and it’s one of the major keys to your success. a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, so you need to speak up and communicate what it is that YOU want and not just say what people want to hear. this next glow up will really have you standing in your power. release is needed especially verbally cause you know that tight feeling you get in your throat when you’re tryna stop yourself from crying? yeah no more of that. no more walking on egg shells, pile 3. say what you feel and stand on it & watch how the tides turn in your favor. mwah!

PILE FOUR.

alright, pile 4! for this next glow up i see you moving. some of you might actually be moving into a new home or apartment and it’s gonna grant you so much peace and comfort. for others of you, this could be you moving on emotionally from a toxic relationship and/or familial bond and finally getting the clarity and peace you need to cut all ties and move onto something better. whatever the situation may be, it was weighing heavy on you and making you feel very down.

you’re gonna feel so free when you leave this situation behind, it’s not even funny. i’m hearing that you were a gilded bird in a cage. some of you could’ve been moving from place to place, not feeling quite settled or financially stable. if you feel lost right now and like you don’t know what to do with your life/where it’s taking you, i just wanna say keep going – W.A.Y.S. by jhené aiko is coming to mind. “if there's one thing that i learned while in those county lines, is that everything takes time. you have gotta lose your pride, you have gotta lose your mind just to find your peace of mind.” awww yeah that’s your theme song for this next glow up. things might not make sense right now, but please trust me when i say that everything is going to work out in your favor & things will be better than you could ever imagine.

you will be blessed with the tools you need to get to this next phase of your life. you are the source, pile 4. whatever you put your mind to, you can surely achieve! don’t let 3D circumstances throw you off, you are so abundant and prosperous you will see in this next glow up just how much of a powerful manifester you really are. you’re still trying to find yourself and figure out where you fit in in the world, but you don’t have to put yourself in a box, pile 4. pave your own way and once you do others will want to follow suit. no one can see your future the way that you do, so keep doing your thing because i’m seeing that you will come across people/friends that share similar interests and niches as you. awww pile 4 you’re going to find your soul tribe.

you have this flighty energy about you (air sign energy/esp gemini) like you’re from one thing to the next and you can’t figure out what you truly want to do. some of you might be in college or almost about to graduate and when people ask you “do you know what you want to do?” you’re like uhhhh….]>|>]^>.]€]€]£ like you truly don’t know but like that’s okay cause actually you do know! on a soul level, you know. what’s understood doesn’t have to be explained pile 4 lol people might not get it now but when you pop out living the life you’ve always dreamed of, TUH. they’ll understand then.

how to tap into this energy?

get out of your head so much and just vibe, pile 4. you can plan plan plan all you want but the reality is: shit happens! it might annoy you or make you feel incredibly frustrated when another problem or inconvenience pops up in your life, but there’s nothing you can’t overcome. it’s life. you will be greatful for these experiences in the long run because it will be another bridge that you’ve already crossed and dealt with, so you won’t fold under pressure – you’ll just already know what to do. you got this, pile 4. shit is about to get really good for you.

[theastrohub]

friendship synastry 👯‍♀️

@astrobaeza observations vol. 3

in conversations and the use of synastry, it’s often associated with romantic relationships. however, while love is a central theme in life, friendship is equally, if not more, significant. after all, the strongest relationships often begin as friendships or platonic connections. even though you don’t typically consider astrology when forming organic friendships, examining your friends' charts alongside your own can offer insights into how you can better complement each other's lives.

*disclaimer: these are my opinions. if you have a different take, share them in the comments please and thank youu.

to compliment this post, I am now offering friendship synastry readings for $40! this service will provide you an outline of the compatibility between you and (1) friendship of your choice, karmic aspects, the purpose of the relationship and how to strengthen your bonds and be a better friend. PM me for a sample reading, only 5 slots are open for right now!

here are some observations I had:

彡 their planets in your 1st house 一 love at first sight. first house synastry amongst friends is like the friend you made your first day of junior high and became the godparent to your child since you are that locked in. I say love at first sight because much like it, you guys were probably very drawn to each other immediately and maybe became inseparable. this makes for a powerful bond where they strengthen your self image and identity, helping you become more confident in self expression. everything flows quite easily whether it be communication, vitality, beauty, and/or harmony. this is one of the best synastry placements in my opinion as it's the most open-ended and the pros outweigh the cons.

彡 their planets in your 2nd house 一 the hype-man / woman friend. the friend who you go to for outfit and makeup opinions, the one you give your haul to when buying new things. the person that can really boost your confidence (and also make you feel really bad about yourself). the friendship is focused on money - making but especially spending it. you guys love to go out to eat, try new things, and be a tad bit boujee together. this is also someone who shapes your mindset as this is probably a friendship on shared values (if it's healthy) - **they have a direct impact on how you feel about yourself. if your self image is unstable, this synastry can be detrimental to your wellbeing so be careful.

彡 their planets in your 3rd house 一 the yappers. there is a mutual love of talking specifically to one another. your minds are on the same page as is your intellect and it makes for a lovely bond on shared interests. according to my poll, most of you guys are mercury-dominant. my mercury-dominant readers, find you a friend you share 3rd house synastry with!! this will make you feel more comfortable in your innate self-expression and have better quality of friendships.

彡 their planets in your 4th house 一 the my friends are my family placement. this friendship dynamic makes for someone who feels very safe with you. the bond, irrespective of what you guys do together, is built on a foundation of trust and reliability. you guys most likely are very close, maybe your families are very close or familiar with one another. you guys spend time at each other's homes hanging out a lot, maybe you have sleepovers. you are familiar with one another's cultures, maybe this is a friendship on shared backgrounds or cultures.

ex 1: lilo and stitch share 4th and 11th synastry. they care for each other like family <3

彡 their planets in your 5th house 一 girls just wanna have fun! you guys do everything together and see each other as the fun friend or the goodtime friend. this can be bad but for the most part the pros outweigh the cons. you lovee each other's company and seek each other out whenever you're about to go do something fun. this is the friendship where you share your dating life with, maybe go out to meet people with or talk about love matters with. you might have more dating options being friends with them. they can show you something you are missing when it comes to matters of casual dating and encourage you to put yourself out there more. this synastry also indicates a relationship where your kids might be very close with them as well, or view them as a prolific " cool aunty/uncle" figure.

彡 their planets in your 6th house 一 workout buddies. you guys most likely workout together, share new diet fads and weight-loss tips together and keep each other healthy. maybe one or both of you are athletic or athletes and you inspire each other to really sweat. there is a lot of wisdom to be shared here in matters of work and routine and they can illuminate something you are missing or aspire to do for your job. this friendship dynamic is centered around being of service in practical matters that will help long term. the friend who either uplevels or diminishes your lifestyle.

彡 their planets in your 7th house 一 the friend who's a significant other. since seventh house synastry in romance is considered ideal for "marriage", this is the friendship that truly fulfills your platonic love languages. when your bf or gf is being annoying, they are right there ready to love on you! just joking, but in its best, this synastry really serves as an example of how you want to be loved in a romantic partnership. this is the friend you talk about deep romantic commitments with and your ideal partner, your relationship problems, and have right by your side when taking that big step in getting married. this friendship is centered around the more serious aspects of life like marriage, if you want to start a business, long-term partnerships. the friend you might trust to do business with or manage your business. friends I've had this synastry with I go to for help with the real stuff. members of the opposite gender that I've had this synastry with I've ended up crushing on or vice versa. at its worst, this can result in a friend who openly dislikes you and may even bully you.

彡 their planets in your 8th house 一 the friend who's damn near a significant other. someone who transforms you, for good or for worse. much like 11th house, they show you how to manage your money and resources and to take pride in them. someone you can trust with heavy stuff, the person you go to when you need to cry or vent. this is the friend that will keep you in check because they really do care about you and your emotional well-being. the friend you talk about your s3x life with or lack theorof -- the friendship where nothing is weird. a negative manifestation is someone who tries to control you and your resources, is way too obsessed with you and overpowers your autonomy. can cross major boundaries without you realizing.

ex2: Blair and Serena share 4th and 8th house synastry. their intense friendship is characterized by major transformations and sharing of ahem resources (men and clothes lol)

彡 their planets in your 9th house 一 philosophical friendship. you guys come from the same religious or spiritual background, have a connection through shared belief systems, may be the friend you met in high-school or university or through some form of formal learning. the friend that traveling with can shape how you view the world or the friend that wants to travel with you. someone who expands or limits your belief system about yourself and the world. you love sharing ideas and having deep conversations with them as they are receptive to these talks.

彡 their planets in your 10th house 一 you achieve new social standings together. they might love being seen with you, love going to important places. they might expand your reputation or lead you to alignment in matters of your career and legacy. on the flipside, they can harm your public reputation. you most likely have similar ambitions and this friendship keeps one another on the straight and narrow. this is a little bit more stale, but good for ambitious individuals. you guys strategize together, plan for the future, and can even build an empire through continuously bouncing ideas off of one another. they are very supportive of your professional ambitions and want to see you accomplish your biggest goals and be there every step of the way.

彡 their planets in your 11th house 一 you achieve goals together. this is for people who value dependable, stable friendships centered around longevity and shared vision for the future. like instead of a power-couple you're a power friendship duo. someone who can help you make money, someone you love socializing specifically networking with, the friend that shows up for you time and time again. the visionary friend that supports your craziest theories and dreams. the friend you introduce to your other friend groups without fear of overlap or not fitting in.

彡 their planets in your 12th house 一 spiritual friendship. they see you for who you are, and who you might not even see yourself to be. they highlight traits that you want to embody more of, and can really almost gentle parent you in new directions. this dynamic can result in a mentor style friendship and can grow into a deep bond that transcends mundane things. I've seen this synastry in friendships where one person guides the other into a new religion or way of living life as a whole. they can heal any wounds to your subconscious mind and help you process anything that's cumbersome mentally. this can be very beautiful, and develop into an unconditional bond, where they are there for you through thick and thin. on the flip side, they can be someone who is elusive and seeks to secretly harm you under the guise of friendship.

pt 2 coming soon.

thank you for reading 💋

@astrobaeza

for more: [ paidservices ₊ masterlist ₊ tips ] // gif by @bffspo + @gossipgirlfanblog

[astropookie]

planets on your IC and your traumas

aot

don’t take this seriously pls. these are general observations, depends on the aspects, degrees and your whole chart to be more specific.

mars on IC: in your childhood you’ve watched a lot of fights and then love gestures -like kisses and hugs-. you saw your parents/people who lived with you being really unstable and contradicting in their actions. you could have felt really worried of how impatient they were and how they suddenly they acted like they did nothing. that’s why you’re so cautious/defensive about others response.

sun on IC: you could have looked a lot for your family’s acceptance. you could have felt the need to mold your personality according to your family’s wishes. a mother figure could have been more present. you could have been overprotected or too shy to socialize. you easily run out of your social battery. major introvert.

moon on IC: in your childhood one of your parents/loved ones could have not gave you what you needed to feel emotionally secure. you didn’t feel understood or seen when your were a child. mother could have been too focused on their child’s life. strong emotional connection with mother. you could have felt too much and bottled it up -depends on other placements-.

venus on IC: you idealize your family and home, you focus on how it should be bc you’re scared of change in relationship terms. you tend to lean on and keep relationships -friendship, romantic, family, etc.- that had been in your life for a long time, doesn’t matter if they’re toxic, just bc it’s more “easy”, “comfortable” or you tell yourself “it has always been like this why would I change it” -something like that-.

neptune on IC: your childhood’s environment wasn’t the best. you could have felt alone, as if the people/parents who lived with you weren’t there. they gave you too much freedom or one of your parents were absent -emotionally, physically-. you could have felt the need to lock yourself in your own world to not see what was happening in reality. didn’t felt connected to your family or home. you kinda wish to not have raised yourself.

uranus on IC: there was always something happening in your childhood. you could have felt you didn’t have a home even though you had one. your parent could have been eccentric -or pretty normal- or had “rare” habits compare to others. or you could be the eccentric one in your family. could have felt like an outsider. like jupiter on IC, you could have moved around a lot but bc of an unstable household.

pluto on IC: there was/is a lot of tension in your home. you were domineering by your parents/people who lived with you and you tended to shut up and let them be. your parents or siblings could have abused their power and used it against you or for their benefit. even though your home’s toxic you care so much for the people who live there. you have a strong bond with your family. there’s so much control coming from your parents.

jupiter on IC: you could have changed houses a lot and bc of that had to adapt to different cultures -open minded-. your parents had/have a lot of influence in your life, they could be the reason you had a high quality education. you need to have a busy social life to rest from your parents. you could have a different mentality comparing to the ones on your household. issues with parents -depends on the aspect but mostly-.

mercury on IC: your beliefs are highly influenced by your family. your family’s values have a high influence in your decisions. you could have spent a lot of time thinking about your family dynamic -mercury can represent were’s your mind at-. you could have been a curious child. also pretty anxious. you could have being criticized constantly in your household and as a kid you could have criticized yourself too.

saturn on IC: you could have felt you couldn’t trust your parents. strict household. your parents could have been too harsh on you and didn’t provide emotional security. they had a lot of expectations towards you and that’s why you could have felt frustrated when you didn’t achieve what they wanted. you could have taken care of responsibilities that you werent supposed to took care of at a very young age.

extras

taurus IC: everyone had to have the last word and where stubborn asf -when I remember my childhood-.

virgo IC: too analytical and were really strict, parents or the ones who lived with you were looking for what you’ve done “wrong” or out of the line.

mars retrograde transit square natal mercury: short-tempered, that’s it. I was feeling too much out of nowhere, didn’t know where all this bothersome came from. MY MIND PLS. in a situation, all my overthinking thoughts, my traumas, my anxiety, gets triggered and or I get mad and anxious bc i ran into conclusions without thinking, as if every situation pushes a bottom that reminds me of something from the past and I get in an alert mode. like BISH STAWP why are you being so defensive 😭

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ/ᐠ - ˕ -マ.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ♡ ⋆ ˖ ݁ . ₍^⸝⸝> ·�� <⸝⸝ ^₎ ༘⋆૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა

♡ Based on personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[lostsoulofdragon]

some small headcanons I got for the forest god au by @llamagoddessofficial

Please note that all the things stated down there are NOT canon, but headcanons I made up as I aggressively scourged down every bit of information I found about this au, thank you very much :)

also I’ll be heavily focusing on my favorite boy Skull (I’ll just call him Horror for now because I can handle it better) here, because why not, I love him 

Sans is not opposed of letting humans do their thing. If they wander his territory, they wander his territory. He’s even turned humans fae if they showed devotion to him. Some have started a cult about him, and he finds it amusing enough to let it continue. And hey, they even protect his forest FOR HIM, so all he really has to do is care for the fae and animals, not if trees get cut down or rivers get dammed. He can just sit back and relax, and have the enjoyment of humans running around for him. He doesn’t consider it to be selfish- heck, he never showed himself to them, he didn’t start the cult. That’s on them.

 He viewed the cult as… family, to some degree. After all, he turned some into his kind. After the forest of a fellow deity was lost t the humans and then the deities wrath, he watched the cult fall apart. They left his forest, leaving him to feel abandoned by them. He TRUSTED them. He never showed himself to the most of them, but he still LIKED them. They were like the most of family he ever had. And now they were gone.

Red likes humans. We all know that. But over the centuries, as they evolved, he watched them closely. So closely, that when you are fortunate enough to enter his core domain, you are faced with ancient human machines. Old pictures of random people in surprisingly good health for being tucked away in a tree in the middle of a forest. If you want to get an item of yours back after loosing it in the forest, you must trade it with him (dipping into the fae aspect here, hehe). He allows humans to stay in his domain, at least at its edges. But those that live there whisper about how many things go missing regularly. That bird that grasped your hunting knife as you left it unsupervised? Sent by the local deity. The fox pulling a bag of different tools? Reds personal thief. The deer eyeing the self made pouch of multiple layers- you get the idea.

Horror wasn’t always a hulking multilegged creature that resembles beasts. Before his rage took over, he was a humanoid deity, like the others. He allowed humans to wander through his territory and hunt and forage to a certain extent, and those that exhausted their stay just wouldn’t find any more. No more berries on the sides of the path, no more deer trails to follow. Similar to Red, he finds humans intriguing, but in a slightly different way. While Red wants to know all about the human race, Horror is content with letting them into his forest without having them fear for their safety. He allows them to hunt and forage, but no one dares to set up a permanent home there. A camp for the night, sure, but anything that indicates a longer stay than a full moon cycle will be left without food or other resources soon enough, alongside great rain and extreme temperatures that only worsen the longer the human stay.

Anyone who dares exhaust their stay even AFTER he told his animals to evade the human, made the plants temporarily close their flowers when the human was around… they learn to never upset a god the hard way. Every step they take makes water seep into their boots that never dry again. Every plant they decide to pick, it either wilts before they can consume it, or it makes them sick. The animals they slaughter put up a vicious fight. Arrows don’t harm the animals anymore. The meat turns bad in a heartbeat, or it infects the hunter with diseases or parasites. Horror allows humans to redeem themselves if they move out when he tells them, but if you decide to exhaust his hospitality even after his warning signs? You have been cast out for your life.

Horror liked his fae-underlings. He allowed them to toy with humans, but only to a certain degree. He refrained from turning humans to fae, because they could get the wrong idea. But there are stories about a certain human who was granted a special connection to his forest, and his forest alone.

[ghouldump]

Hello! I just read your lestat x reader fanfic and I’m completely in love with it! Can you maybe do a part 2 with them still being together in 2024?

Anything For You II | Lestat De Lioncourt x Reader

ෆ you are back home and can’t wait to spend time with the love of your life.

omggg i feel so fuzzy inside knowing others enjoy my writing 🩷😋 this is short, but i think it’s a cute ending.

“You can sit them down here, thank you, honey,” you told your chauffeur, handing him a hundred-dollar bill.

“Thank you, Miss”

“No, thank you,” you winked, watching as the handsome man left, driving off in the SUV.

Unlocking the door, you placed your baby, Lena, a purebred Italian greyhound on the floor. She immediately ran towards the sound of the music, wagging her tail in excitement. You thought back to how disgusted Lestat was at the idea of having an animal. He was adamant that if you got this dog you’d be on your own taking care of her. Within a week, you caught him teaching her tricks and feeding her treats. She was 4 and you were hoping to have her mate, in hopes of having grand puppies.

Sitting your luggage by the stairs, you looked around, shaking your head at the lack of renovation that was supposed to happen while you were away. He hadn’t even taken down the photos like you asked, instead he put them back up. Seeing your wedding photo crooked, you couldn’t help but laugh. Housework was never his forte. Staring at the photo, you traced over his face, nearly a century of love and you were still head over heels. You were surprised when he even brought up the subject.

“Marriage?” You closed the novel, sitting it in your lap.

“Do you not want to marry me?” He asked, playfully tilting his head.

“I didn’t think vampires were into nuptials, or you-

“What can I say? Seven years later and I am not against the idea of being bound to someone legally, I also have looked into it and there are many positive aspects-

“You’ve been looking into this?” You couldn’t help but smile, as he slowly came down to his knees in front of you.

“Yes”

“How badly do you want this,” you asked him, your hand going to caress his cheek.

“As much as my thirst for blood,” he continued, his eyes softened as they focused on you.

“Ask me,” you told him, feeling your eyes tingling, you knew tears were soon to fall.

Biting his lip, he stared at you for a second, before pulling the ring from his pocket. You gasped, covering your mouth, as the blood ran down your face.

“Ma chèrie, please grant me the greatest honor to not only be my companion, but my wife. I love you now and I’ll love you forever, will you…marry me?” He asked.

“Of course,” you nodded, holding your hand out, squealing as he slid the ring onto your finger. The ring was timeless, beautifully made, and could catch the attention of everyone in a room with how large and nicely cut the diamond was.

You ended up having a tiny wedding, in the backyard of your home. Just the two of you, a marriage officiant, and a photographer. Shortly after your vows were exchanged, as your photo was taken. The photographer had plenty of vulgar thoughts when it came to you in the form-fitting dress. Regardless, the two ended up being your meals, before a night of passionate intimacy.

Hearing the familiar serenade, you entered the living room. Immediately, you smiled, Lestat sat at the piano, looking at the sheet music, his iPad propped up in front of him, annotations on a digital copy of the music. Crossing your arms, you watched as he was about to continue with the keys, but lifted his hands.

“Who’s your honey?” He asked, making you playfully roll your eyes. No matter how many people were invited into your home, Lestat became jealous if you were too kind to another person for too long.

“Don’t start, you know who has my heart,” you told him, walking over. He immediately opened his arms for you to sit on his lap.

“I missed you, ma chèrie,” he told you, making you loudly coo.

“Awe, I missed you more, you should’ve come, Chicago was fun,” you told him, as he kissed your hand.

“I’d rather not,” he pouted like a child. He knew he’d end up wandering around alone, and while he had no problem doing so - the city held no interest to him. You were there for work, since the late 80s, you had been a real estate agent. At first a small hobby, you eventually expanded, leaving Louisiana for more land in different states. Over the years you made enough money to last for generations. After being home with him for Mardi Gras, enjoying the parades together, the people, and selling to a few tourists - you had been gone for nearly two months.

“You’re so cute,” you laughed, pecking his lips.

“Cute is more…adolescent,” he rolled his eyes, huffing as you stood up.

“Lena, come,” he turned around, as the dog jumped into his lap.

“Why didn’t you let the construction workers come to renovate?” You asked him, going to sit on the couch. He didn’t pay you much mind, more focused on rubbing the dog.

“They all use cheap material and will make it look all modern”

“This company is good, I swear, we need this, the walls are peeling, for god's sake,” you pointed out.

“It gives the house character,” he shrugged.

“Lestat,” you stared at him with a straight face, while he smirked.

“Why did you take down our wedding photo?” He raised an eyebrow.

“All of the pictures need to be taken down, and the coffins put away, for the renovation. I’d prefer to not have to wipe anyone’s memory because they’re wondering why there is a wedding photo of us in the 30s”

“It could simply be a black and white photo, you don’t look a day over 20, as ethereal as you’ve always been,” he complimented, his eyes quickly traveling from head to toe, enjoying your outfit. You always managed to keep up with time, blending in with society. You even learned how to use a smartphone and were sometimes active on social media. Lestat on the other hand, was stuck in his ways, still dressing as lively as he always did, in a nice suit.

In certain areas, he showed his age, not liking a lot of modern music, casual clothing, or how to use technology. All he had was his iPad, like a child, took it everywhere with him, only your contact saved inside. He still struggled to text or FaceTime you, but it was his go-to when the two of you were apart.

“So, how’s the music going?” You changed the subject.

“I will be going on tour soon,” he said, smiling as you clapped in excitement.

“I can’t wait, you’re going to be amazing,” you praised him.

Lestat had always been gifted when it came to music, regularly writing his music to play for you on evenings when you had nothing to do. It wasn’t until he made his first song, for you personally, that you pestered him about publishing it. Now over 50 years after that moment, he released a song, and while it was under his name, his face was completely anonymous. Although it wasn’t for the reason you’d think.

Your social media had been growing, as you publicized your company. Vampires immediately began to recognize you, questioning if you were trying to reveal to the world what you were. They spoke from all over day and night about harming you, when Lestat released the song, taking the attention off of you. They were too afraid of him to boldly do anything, and you being his companion, automatically were protected. You didn’t agree with his decision, but after weeks of dealing with his stubbornness, you accepted the choice he made.

No one knew the face behind the hypnotizing voice, and you were certain they would be falling to their knees as they saw his beautiful face.

“Are you nervous?” You asked as he kept a poker face.

“Of course,” he grinned playfully.

“You’re going to kill it, just hearing them all screaming your name, I can’t wait,” you told him, watching as he sat Lena down, standing to approach you.

“Will you…scream my name”

“Always,” you leaned back, crossing your legs as he moved next to you, his fingertips softly dragging down your leg.

“Then I won’t be nervous”

“There will be groupies…men and women,” you started.

“I won’t invite anyone into our bed you don’t want there,” he shook his head, as you moved to peck his lips.

“I know you will be a superstar, everything about you is remarkable, I love you”

“Anymore praise and I might get an airhead,” he laughed.

“I love you more,” he continued.

“And what about the others, I trust you can protect yourself perfectly, but what if they try to-

“None of them are bold enough to try and if they are then they are asking to see their final death. I won’t let anyone harm you, all because you wanted to share your beautiful pictures with the world,” he told you, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you close.

“Thank you, I couldn’t be more grateful for you as a companion and husband,” you nuzzled your face in his robe.

“Anything for you, ma chèrie”

[allisluv]

this is a random idea, and you totally dont have to write it if you arent comfortable but could i maybe request a oneshot about reader who sh with finnick and like they havent had sex yet because she doesnt want him to see her scars and its just lots of comfort and really fluffy?

good things come to those who wait.

pairing: finnick o'dair x fem!victor!reader

content warnings: this work contains topics regarding self-harm and scars, however nothing is graphic at all, and this is mainly focused on the comfort aspect of things. finnick is a sweetie pie, pre-established relationship, mentions of sex but nothing intimate, hurt/comfort.

word count: 1.0k

author's note: this is a topic that really hits home with me, and my intentions are never and will never be to offend anyone. my inbox and dm's are always open. this work is purely made to help people feel less alone, not to romanticise any topics covered.

Finnick has always been ever so sweet with you. He has never once made you feel pressured into doing anything you weren’t ready for, and that’s one of the many things that separate him from your past boyfriends. 

You know he would never even think about judging you for the scars on your thighs but no matter how much you reassure yourself that he wouldn’t mind, there is still that tiny voice in the back of your head that says, “What if?”

You’re seven months into your relationship with Finnick when you decide that it’s best you sit him down and have a conversation with him about how youre feeling. Things are starting to get serious and you can tell that despite his gentleness and his patience, he’s beginning to worry that there’s another reason for why you havent slept with him yet. Finnick opened up to you about his sexual trauma in the Capitol pretty early on into your relationship and you don’t want him to worry that you think he’s “broken” or “damaged goods” and that’s why you haven’t slept with each other yet, because that couldn’t be farther from the truth. 

You think Finnick is without a doubt the most handsome man you have ever laid eyes on— but he’s so much more than that, too. Hes considerate and thoughtful and caring and kind and you don’t want to ever make him think he’s not good enough. 

So despite your anxiety, you push through and anxiously wait on the sofa for Finnick to return home from his dip in the ocean. 

Your heart is thudding against your ribcage so fast that you fear it may jump straight out of your chest. The front door opens and shuts before Finnick calls out your name. 

“Im in here!” You shout back, focusing all your effort on keeping your voice steady and calm. 

Finnick peeks his head into the living room and smiles. Two dimples poke into his cheeks, one on either side of his mouth, as he grabs a beach towel off the radiator and starts to dry himself off. He’s caught off guard when you don’t immediately start chastising him for dripping water in the house, and that is the first thing that sends bells off in his head. “Angel? You okay?” 

You suck in a steadying breath and pat the sofa next to you. “Can we talk?” Finnick’s mind starts whirring into overdrive as he worries that you might be breaking this off with him, and you instantly backtrack when you see the panic on his face. “No, no, I’m sorry. Don’t panic, I just need to tell you something. It’s nothing bad, Finnick, I promise.”

He seems to relax a little at your comforting words but his steps are still tentative as he crosses the room and sits down on the sofa next to you. “Alright,” He says warily. “Do you wanna tell me what’s going on?” 

You swallow the lump in your throat. You know this is going to be an awkward conversation to have, but both you and Finnick agreed that communication was key to maintaining a healthy relationship. You figure you might as well be honest and get this over with. There’s no point in beating around the bush so you come right out and say it as bluntly as possible. “I wanted to talk about why we haven’t had sex yet. I mean, that’s something you want, right?”

Finnick nods reassuringly. “Of course it is but only when you’re ready. I don’t want you feeling pressured into it.”

Your tongue darts out to wet your lips. “I want to. God, I really, really want to. I’m just scared.” 

Finnick tilts his head to one side but slowly reaches out to grab your hand. He intertwines your fingers together. “Okay. What are you scared of, angel?”

It takes everything in you not to burst into tears and you have to clear your throat a couple of times before talking aloud. “I have scars. On my thighs.”

Realisation dawns on Finnick but he doesn’t open his mouth to say anything. Instead, he nods to show that he is listening, and squeezes your hand to encourage you to continue. 

“I was going through a really tough time after I won my games. I turned to some… well, less than healthy coping mechanisms. I’m better now. I haven’t done… that, in a good few years. But I still have scars from it.” You take a deep breath, keeping your eyes trained on a spot on the floor in front of you. “I know you wouldn’t judge me but I was just scared that you’d think I was damaged or—”

“Okay, let me stop you there.” Finnick cuts in. His voice is stern but soft. “Angel, some scars don’t scare me, and they certainly don’t make me think you’re anything less than beautiful. All it does is tell me how resilient my girl is. I would never think less of you for this. I need you to know that, alright?” 

It feels like a weight has been lifted off your chest. “No, I know that, I just— I don’t know. I was scared you were gonna leave me.” 

Finnick uses his free hand to smooth your hair off your forehead. “I know, angel, I know,” He murmurs. “Youre not gonna get rid of me that easily, okay? I’m in this for the long haul.” He smiles softly and knocks his shoulder into yours. 

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth as you finally make eye contact with him. “You’re not saying this just to make me feel better, right?”

Finnick scoffs but his voice is full of affection when he speaks. “Angel, you should know by now that I’m gonna tell you the truth, regardless of if you want to hear it or not.”

You chuckle. “Fair point, well made.” You hesitate. “So, you know, just to clarify, you do want to sleep with me?”

Finnick grins. “More than anything. But we’re gonna do this at your pace, okay? We’re gonna take it as slow as you need.”

Your lips tug downwards into a frown. “You don’t mind waiting?”

Finnick pecks your forehead. “You know what they say, good things come to those who wait.” He pauses. “And, angel?”

“Mhm?” 

“Scars or not, I still think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

[britts-galaxy-brain]

I get going after a person that specifically groomed and abused you. (I think that’s what you’re stating happened?) I was also groomed as a child by people online in fandom spaces and I feel a lot of things about that including anger. But that’s the thing, my abusers were cis women. In the MLP fandom alone the entire “brony” dynamic was just so deeply fucked up in the way adults of all genders interacted with teenagers.

But you kept focusing on *specifically* and more or less *only* trans fems. Even if that was accidental in someway at first, this pattern is something that was possible for a reason. Transmisogyny within society makes it easier. Like Mio has literally nothing to do with Lily Orchard. Mio is questioning the way you and others have spent so much time and energy, combing through every aspects of many other trans women’s existence in an obsessive and upsetting way. A big part of transmisogyny is the immense scrutiny all trans fems live under, and you turned it up to 11. Offhanded and out of context screenshots that transmisogyny exempt people would be given the benefit of the doubt about, does not happen for trans women. When people fill in their own context they tend to fill it in ways that shape trans women into villain along the lines of transmisogynystic tropes. (Pedophilia accusations are a common one.)

This isn’t black and white. I don’t know everything so I can’t say where everyone you dug into exist within the gray. However you have to see the gray. You can block, you can say on your discord “hey maybe avoid this person”, there are so so so many steps before callouts need to happen if you think someone is gross or creepy. You don’t need to always need to elect yourself judge jury and executioner.

Are you fuckin serious? Have you been living under a rock??

So first off, you're saying it's my fault that the random ass predators who happened to stick their nose in this happened to be trans women. What am I supposed to do at that point? Ignore evidence of abuse toward minors just because of the demographic they fell into??

The one cis dude I had a run in with ages ago that got exposed for being a predator was in the process of being reported to the authorities before I knew he'd even done anything and not a damn soul was out here openly defending him and claiming calling out his grooming of an underage teenager was anything other than what it was. Same with Toonkritic. Now explain to me the double fucking standard I've had shoved in my face for YEARS now regarding literally any trans woman who has evidence of being predatory? They could outright STATE "I Am Attracted to Minors" (Poppy, Hypnotist Sappho, Patricia, Lily Orchard) and pointing out their own words INEVITABLY leads to a mob of obtuse reactionary fucks screaming about transmisogyny. They could openly and gleefully flirt with minors IN PUBLIC (Lily Orchard, Hypnotist Sappho) and pointing out that's fuckin predatory leads to the same mob of reactionary fucks screaming about transmisogyny. They could end up DATING THE MINORS THEY PUBLICLY GROOMED AS SOON AS THEY ARE LEGAL (Lily Orchard) and again the same reactionary fucks screaming about transmisogyny.

I'm out of patience with it. You utter fucking malicious morons are indirectly conflating calling out BLATANTLY PREDATORY BEHAVIOR as being transmisogynistic. You are essentially implying that predatory behavior is an intrinsic part of being transgender and I DON'T THINK MOST TRANS PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY WITH THAT ASSERTION. I don't see this shit on anywhere near the same level when it's cis people getting exposed. Cis women predators often pull the misogyny card but it doesn't get them near as far as what I've seen with the transmisogyny angle.

You are doing SO much more fucking harm to the communities you pretend to care about by jumping to the defense of CHILD PREDATORS and trying to frame it as a transmisogyny issue.

Fuck. Off.

[evangelineshifts]

FUCK IT !

You know I started thinking about the analogy that people use for manifestation and shifting comparing it to when you order something online.

And for me that analogy made sense but I could never truly relate to it cause when they said “you don’t wonder when your package is coming, you just know it is and you don’t question that etc etc”

And while yes that is true to a certain extent, I actually DO wonder when my packages are coming sometimes. I DO check how far they are from my location. I do anxiously wait for them to come.

I realize that that’s okay. Cause no matter how many times I check the order status. No matter how many times I check how long it’s been since I ordered it, my package STILL CAME.

I think the way we’re told to restrict ourselves from thinking about how much time our manifestations are taking or when we’re gonna shift actually makes it worse.

When you tell someone not to worry about something, to let it go and not thinking about it, to feign indifference the harder they’re going to try to. Which in turn just makes them think about it more.

It’s counterproductive at best.

When I order something I do think about how long it’ll take. I do check the status but once I do I just kind of go on once I’m done. I don’t really feel any particular way about how long it’s taking cause I know it’s mine and it’ll get here.

I trust that the delivery service will get it here in due time cause that’s THEIR job not mine and leave it at that 🤷🏽‍♀️

Another thing I noticed is that in ordering things- at least for me - I don’t worry about HOW it’s gonna get here. It could be delivered on my doorstep, in the mailbox, dropped from a fucking helicopter, ANYTHING, and I have never once cared.

And it might just be me being slow and realizing this is what they meant in those posts later than everyone else but it’s just like- clicked !

I’m always SO worried about the process of shifting.

What method should I do? Should I even do a method?

What if I get bored? I dont want to do it if I’m bored.

What will I think about? Should I look over my script? Maybe Pinterest boards for visuals?

What if I forgot something? I should check my script.

What if I fall asleep?

What if? What if? What if?

WHO FUCKING CARES?!? That is not why you’re doing this. Who cares about that process when the end goal is the destination.

I’ve been avoiding shifting for the longest because I just kept stressing out over the shifting aspect of it. I would maladaptive daydream about my dr and be happy in that but the thought of attempt a shift made me groan.

The thought of affirming and persisting in my manifestations seemed strenuous.

But thats not the point. With practices as fluid as this focusing on what to do is literally the last thing you need to be worried about and I just now realized that.

You’ve probably heard this all before but like fr, do whatever the hell you want. If you want to shift wide awake, eyes open and dancing with music blasting in your ears- do it. Who’s gonna tell you that you can’t? Who has the credibility to say it’s impossible.

No one.

If you want to manifest by literally saying one affirmation and deciding it’s done and then going on doing whatever the fuck you want until the 3D catches up, then do it.

Tell yourself it works for you and then do it.

✧ dividers by @benkeibear !

[crackedpumpkin]

𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝟎𝟏 |

a/n: about fucking time lol im so exhausted. hope yall enjoy <3

Warnings: Contains cursing

AU Inspo: Soulmates can hear each other listening to music. The further the distance, the softer the music. The closer, the louder until they find each other.

| [ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ] | [ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ] |

— — — — — — — — — — 

“Soulmates are essential to survive. There is nothing like the sensation of meeting each other for the first time, and subsequently knowing that you’re fated to be with each other forever. Through thick and thin, they'll always have your back.”

You snort. Miss Grenadine lifts her brow into a delicate arch, her unamused expression remaining the same as you cover your mouth, trying to fake a cough. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class on your last day?”

People around you start to snigger, and you can feel the glances poking your skin like tiny mosquitoes buzzing all over. “Not really.”

“No, no. Please, enlighten me as to what exactly you find so amusing about soulmates.”

“Maybe it’s because she hasn’t found hers yet?” Another classmate suggests. You turn around to see Henry smirking, high-fiving the rest of his friends who’re evidently entertained by his jab.

You roll your eyes, letting a huff slip past your lips. “And you keep arguing with yours, no wonder I’m not jealous that I don’t have one yet.” His friends suck in a sharp breath between their teeth in a hiss, glancing warily between you both. 

“Thank you for your input, Henry. But I asked your classmate, not you.” He’s silenced from uttering another word under Ms Grenaline’s sharp gaze, wilting into his seat with a muttered retort under his breath. 

You turn your attention back to your teacher who’s waiting patiently, hands folded over her stomach in a motherly manner. But you know better. This is fake sympathy, flaky pity in her eyes as she thinks to herself how unlucky you are for not having yet met your soulmate. 

You get it. You’re an anomaly. It’s ‘not normal’ for people to not yet meet their soulmates by the time they’re 18. One way or another, the universe always finds a way to pull two people together by the age of 16. Yet, you’re the exception. 

“I just think the whole music thing is annoying. I mean, do you all not get annoyed? What if you hate metal, but they love it? Even then, it’s just insane how much our lives border on needing someone. Why not just travel alone? Enjoy life?” You lean back in your seat, crossing your arms defiantly as Ms Grenaline’s eyes widen with every word.

You watch her take a moment to compose herself, plastering a smile on her face as she comes up with the right words to say. Honestly, you couldn’t care less what she wanted to say to you; it’s your last day here anyway. 

“Well,” She pauses, clearly struggling on how to phrase her words in a way that wouldn’t get you to retort once again, “It’s…a very difficult process to describe in words. I understand where you’re coming from with the music aspect, but over time just like how one day you can wake up and decide that you like the colour purple, you’ll experience something similar.”

“You’re right.” You nod. She’s momentarily taken aback by your agreeable response, only to frown when you continue speaking. “It is a difficult process to put in words. And you know what? Maybe not everyone needs a soulmate.” You flash her a toothy smile just as the bell rings, grabbing your bag and starting for the door. “Been good, Ms G.”

You don’t turn to see her reaction, focused on getting to the diner on Sixth Street where you’d promised to meet up for one last meal with your friends before you moved to Ninjago City. Putting the earbuds into your ears makes you wince, shaking your head slightly as the familiar yet nauseating sound of jazz plays faintly in the back of your mind. 

Stupid jazz, stupid music, stupid soulmate.

Right. Your soulmate. You still haven’t told anyone this, but a few months ago, you began to hear the faint sounds of smooth jazz play now and then in your head. You thought you were just going crazy at first, but upon further observation, you concluded that there could only be one cause: Your soulmate was nearby. 

But for some annoying reason, your soulmate loves jazz with a passion. it was always either that or soft rock. Plus, they’re always annoyingly far enough to not have it impounded into your head, but still close enough to have it constantly on repeat in your head. 

The day it first started, you had just finished watching a horror movie and were about to go to bed. However, your soulmate had decided that 5 AM was the perfect time to start listening to soft rock. The sharp twangs of an electric guitar and the steady beats of the drums were enough to keep you up instead of getting your beauty sleep. 

lil binder [ 02:00 PM ]: u otw yet? 

You grin at the message on your screen, typing out a reply to your friend, Melody, as pop music blasts away through your earbuds and effectively drowning out the beginnings of a saxophone.

smartie pebble [ 02:00 PM ]: yea be there in 7

Melody was just one of many of your friends. She had found her soulmate at the tender age of 15, accidentally spilling ice cream on him because she had been too distracted talking to you. Having bore witness to the entire ‘love-at-first-sight’ moment between them, you scooched away as she proceeded to forget about your entire existence in the next hour.

However, now Luke and her were inseparable, and wherever she was, he was bound to be there too. Luckily though, you had bonded with him over your mutual love of cooking, with Melody constantly being on the receiving end of many of your competitive inventions. 

“Yo, it’s the one and only rockstar of our generation!” Luke crows as you enter the diner, and you instinctively stick up your middle finger at him. He grins, slinging an arm over your shoulder as you set down your bag in the booth seats. 

“About time you got here.” Brendan greets, subtly nudging Nico who glances up from his game for a moment to say a quick ‘hi’. The former is in his uniform as usual, while Nico decided to change out of his, relaxed vest and tapered pants his go-to outfit.

“You’ll never guess what happened today.” Nico arches an eyebrow, though his gaze is focused solely on the rhythm game on his screen.

“Let me guess, you got into another argument about soulmates again.” You look up to see Melody arrive at the table with a large tray of food, tucking away the strings of the apron around her waist. “When will you learn that it’s inevitable?” She sighs, pinching the skin between her eyes and shaking her head in disapproval. 

“Maybe it’s because she’s around us too much,” Luke pouts, snaking his arm around her waist. She grins, ruffling the top of his head. 

“Please, for the love of the First Spinjitzu Master, make it stop,” You groan, pretending to gag and narrowly dodging the packet of chilli she throws in your direction. Picking it up, you tear it open and squeeze out the sauce, dipping the fries into it and eating them with relish.

“So, what’d Ms Grenaline say this time?” Luke focuses his attention on you, letting go of Melody who slides into the seat next to him. Nico steals a fry, munching away even though his meal is right in front of him. He even put away his phone, eagerly waiting to hear what new fight you’d gotten into today.

“She just said some shit about soulmates being essential to survive. Y’know, the usual mumbo jumbo.” You shrug, unwrapping the double cheeseburger and taking a bite. 

“Sounds about right to me.” Melody raises her hands in surrender once you glare at her. “But hey, who am I to judge? Definitely not because I have a soulmate, and definitely not because he’s right next to me.”

“You’re so right.” She rolls her eyes at your automatic reply, barely audible through the massive chunk of pickle in your mouth. 

“I know your family’s kinda complicated, but it doesn’t have to affect your outlook on soulmates forever. Besides, aren’t you moving to the city for your stepmom? That’s kinda progress.” Brenden volunteers his opinion, sipping away at his diet coke. “Don’t you glare at me young lady, you know perfectly well why you’re going. You like her.” 

“As if,” you scoff, forcing down the last bite of lettuce and crumpling the empty wrapper. Melody doesn’t blink an eye at how fast you’ve consumed the burger, already having seen it for at least 6 years.

“She got you the signed copy of Black Beauty, remember?” Nico says quietly, tilting his head. “And besides, you haven’t fought with her in a long while.” 

You bite back a retort, hating how right he is. It’s been at least three months since you’d gotten in a fight with your stepmother - the longest duration so far. “Look, she can try to bribe me all she wants, but I’m going to quickly get through school and move out so I can travel away from her.”

“Mmhm. You’d have a good chance, considering that you got into Business Relations at Ninjago University, so…” Your friends go quiet at the mention, as if just realising that you’re leaving tomorrow morning.

“I’ll be back for summer vacation anyway,” you casually state, finishing off the fries with a satisfied grin. “With autographs from those ninjas you’re always raving about.”

“You promise? I’ll cut off your pinkie finger if it doesn’t come true. You know a pinky promise is legally binding.” Melody warns. 

“I don’t know how you put up with her.” Luke shrugs as you turn to him, amusement in his eyes as he glances at Melody who’s still glaring at you. 

“River time?” Brenden suggests, trying to lighten the mood. Melody nods, turning to face the kitchen staff behind the counter a short distance away. 

“Hilda, I’m heading out!” She calls out, untying the apron and draping it on the seat as everyone leaves the booth. 

“Fuck off!”

“Will do!” Melody grins slyly, gesturing to the exit. “Let’s bounce before she realises I didn’t clear the tables.”

“Love you too Hilda!” You shout back to the grumpy old lady with a fond smile, waving goodbye as you leave. 

“River time! River time! River time!” You join in on their chanting, laughing without a care in the world - and ignoring the faint sounds of guitars and saxophones playing in the back of your mind.

— — — — — 

The truth of the matter is, picnics by the river are among the top few activities you’d willingly leave the house for. After having a few drinks and getting up to a couple of shenanigans, your friends dropped you off at your place with tearful goodbyes.

Nico had refused to let go of your arm, citing ‘who would I hug when you’re gone?’ as the reason why. He had let go after you promised to hug him all he wanted when you came back. It was also then that you vowed to never let him drink again.

After showering and emerging from the steam with a clearer (and significantly less tipsy) mind, you make your way to the comfort of your futon, avoiding stubbing your toe on the luggage near the door. The moving company had already taken most of your stuff, and all that you have to your name now is a singular suitcase, a sling bag, and your futon. 

You wriggle under the blanket, staring up at the ceiling and feeling the tiredness finally hit you with full force as your eyelids slowly close. The warmth draws you to sleep, dreams calling your name and reckoning for you to come into their embrace. 

Unfortunately, your soulmate doesn’t like to sleep at 1 AM. Soft rock starts playing, and you press your face against the pillow to muffle your annoyed groan. You press the pillow on top of your face, wishing desperately for the music to stop, though you know it’d do nothing to help. Forcing your eyes shut and thinking of anything else to drown out the noise is the go-to method for you, and hopefully, it’ll work this time as well.

Stupid jazz, stupid music. 

Stupid soulmate.

— — — — — 

A quick Google search in the morning while you brush your teeth reveals a plethora of cafes in Ninjago City, all ready for you to explore. Accidentally clicking on a notification, however, brings you to a separate page where the headline of a news article practically screams at you.

‘Famous Author to make an appearance at Ninjago Museum Fundraiser! All proceeds from the auction are to be donated to preserve local history.

The bestselling author who goes by her pen name of Hanla will be making an appearance at the Ninjago Museum’s Fundraiser occurring next week. Locally curated pieces of artwork and a book of poems written by Hamla herself will be auctioned off. Hamla has also stated that 100% of all proceeds made in her name will be going toward the local conservation of Ninjago’s history. For all fans of her works - You, Me, and the Beat, Beauty and her Phone, and critically acclaimed bestseller Honey, Where Are My Pants?, be sure to stop by for an autographing session that Hamla will be attending! Our local heroes - the Ninja, will also be attending the session, so make sure to get your photos taken with them!’

 “Are you ready yet? We gotta leave in an hour, Munchkin.” Your father calls out from downstairs. You pause to spit out the toothpaste in your mouth, gargling the residue and letting the menthol sting your lips after rinsing. 

“Yeah, just gotta shower and I’m good to go.” You reply loudly, turning your attention back to the mirror. A round, puffy face stares back at you, eyebags apparent after only managing to fall asleep at two in the morning.

You really should stop drinking so late at night. Luckily, a shower helps to reduce the puffiness in your face, and you step out of your room looking somewhat presentable in a lavender hoodie and shorts. 

The gentle sunlight shining through the bare windows breathed life into the room and the curtains that once decorated the small window seat. Where your bed once sat was empty with the polished mahogany wood underneath. 

Endless nights of laying in your plush bed with your bedside lamp's dim yet warm glow seemed so distant in your memories. Your hand lingers on the doorknob, mumbling a soft goodbye before shutting the door and heading downstairs to where your father is waiting.

“Shall we?” He grins, placing the last of your luggage in the car boot. He closes it, offering a hand to you. You take it, allowing him to guide you to the front seat where the radio is already playing your favourite pop songs. 

As he starts to drive, you’re momentarily distracted with taking the perfect picture for your Instagram story, singing along with your tone-deaf father who’s belting out ABBA as he drives past the massive signboard signalling goodbye. You watch it pass, fields and clouds dotting the sky moving by steadily.

It’d be a lie to say you wouldn’t miss home. But this is a chance at a new beginning - maybe one that could change your life for the better. As faint jazz starts up in the back of your mind, you smile softly. Not even that could dampen your mood.

— — — — — 

You stir, eyes fluttering open at the annoying sound of drilling and construction. You blink a few times, sitting up from where you had slumped against the window while you slept. Your vision clears, and you move your hands away to see bright lights and skyscrapers galore around you. 

You're here. 

Ninjago City is filled to the brim with people and endless traffic. Your dad scowls at the long line of cars in front of him, glaring at the red light that seems to take forever to turn green. You fiddle with the games on your phone, focusing intently on beating the next level of Candy Crush. 

You mumble a cuss when 'Game Over' appears on the colourful screen, and he immediately turns with a suspicious gaze. You smile nervously, trying to play it off as though you hadn't said anything. 

Luckily, he turns back around, choosing to let it pass. 

You stare out the window, watching the shops pass by in a blur until you spot one that catches your eye. “Dad, could you drop me off here?” He doesn't question your sudden request, making a turn and parking next to the sidewalk. 

You open the car door and exit, looking up at the sign on the storefront. 

'Ninjago Doomsday Comix'

“Emily’s already making dinner, so just meet us back at the new apartment.” He texts you the new address quickly, eyeing you suspiciously. “Be nice.” He warns, satisfied with the small nod you give in reply. 

“Yeah, just gonna take a look around the place, y'know, before I get lost tomorrow.” You joke. You adjust the straps of your small bag before settling it in a comfortable position on your back. 

“See you later then, munchkin. Call us if anything happens. Should be safe since those ninjas are around.”

Before you can question what he means, he drives off with all the rest of your luggage. You were lucky that your dad had visited the city multiple times on business trips and that he was primarily a hands-off parent.

“Right. Ninjas.” You mumble with a shake of your head, striding off toward the comic book store. The door swings open easily, a jingle catching you off guard. A man at the cashier counter greets you with a friendly grin that eases your nerves, and you walk up to him. 

“Hi, do you know where to find Starfarer comics?”

“Well, right here, of course!” You cringe at his response, realising how poorly worded your question was. It elicits a chuckle from the man in front of you. 

“Just kidding. I'm Rufus, Rufus McAllister, or you can call me Mother Doomsday. You're a new face around these parts. What's your name?”

“I just moved here, so maybe that's why." You reply, clutching the straps of your bag with a small smile at the friendly man and throwing in your name as well as an afterthought.

“Well, welcome to Ninjago City! I hope the city treats you well. We got the ninja protecting us, so that's added security too.”

“Right,” You smile emotionlessly at him. Is everyone here such big fans of the Ninja? Sure, Melody’s a fan, but not as much as bringing them up every chance she got. “Good to know.” 

Rufus pauses with his lips parted, seemingly processing your words. A relaxed grin slowly forms on his lips. He glances towards a specific aisle, seemingly contemplating. 

“It should be fine then….” He mumbles. You're just lost in where this conversation had ended up. 

“Aisle Eight is where we keep the best-stocked Starfarer comics.” He gestures to the area he had been staring at earlier. You thank him with a brief nod, walking over. 

The aisle is relatively empty, save for two other people. A blonde guy in a green hoodie is flipping through the latest issue of Starfarer with keen interest, engrossed in the colourful pages.

Next to him is another boy with slightly wavy and choppy black hair, the smooth and silky strands making you both envious and curious about his hair care routine. In contrast to his friend(you assumed), he regards you with a suspicious gaze. 

Oh no. He’s hot.

You find it odd, feeling mildly unsettled by the intense stare he gives you. It wasn't a good one; more on the wary side than interested. You brush it off, ignoring the pair and scouring the shelves for issue number three.

You finally find the comic you're looking for, but it's directly opposite the pair. 

After all, what would you be if not cursed with horrid coincidence?

You practically tiptoe over, clearing your throat slightly as you grab the comic book and start reading. Green Hoodie(Greenie, you decide to nickname) looks up in surprise, only now noticing your presence. Mr. Grumpy Pants(The nickname suits him perfectly), on the other hand, doesn't bother hiding the grimace on his lips at your presence, looking away.

You stiffen, eyes shifting into a glare.

Rude.

Greenie hits his friend's shoulder in a light punch, looking at you with an expression of apology. “She should be fine. Rufus wouldn't send anyone over here without vetting them first.” Greenie whispers to Mr. Grumpy Pants, referring to his earlier behaviour.

“Yeah, but what if they're…you know? I don't want another repeat of what happened with Jay.”

Oh. Oh. I see now.

You almost drop the comic book in your hands, caught off guard by how attractive Mr Grumpy Pants' voice is. You tense, now more aware of their presence. Even though you don't want to eavesdrop, you can't help how your ears practically perk up, hoping to hear more of the deep voice from earlier. 

Plus, they weren't doing a very good job of keeping their conversation a secret.

“I trust Rufus. He's a good friend.” 

“...Maybe.”

“Is that…? OMG! It's them!!”

You're interrupted from blankly staring at the same page for the past ten minutes, having focused on the conversation behind you, though the pair had stopped talking a while ago. You look up at the store's glass windows, startled by the sudden sight of a group of girls pressed against the glass, staring intently at the two boys behind you. 

“Fuck.” You watch all the colour drain from Greenie's face while Mr Grumpy Pants smacks his palm against his face, sliding it down and sighing heavily with an utterly defeated expression. 

"Not again…" You hear him mutter. “And watch your language,” He adds, elbowing Greenie who just sticks out his tongue. The girls grab their phones, snapping photos of them. You realise that you're probably in them, too, considering the lack of distance between you both. 

"Girls, there's the door!!" The tallest and most commandeering of the group holds open the entrance to the comic book store, and they swarm towards it.

"Cole, run!!!" Greenie yells, taking off to the back door that Rufus quickly ushers them both through. You grab the issue of Starfarer that Greenie dropped on the floor in his hasty exit, watching the fabric of Cole's shirt almost get stuck in the doorway.

At least now you know his name. 

You place both the comics back on the shelf, leaving with a quick wave to Rufus, who nods goodbye. You pull out your phone, look up directions to the apartment and slowly make your way there. You grab your earbuds, put them both in your ears and start your playlist from the beginning.

You're next to an alleyway, just steps away from a ramen store, when your arm is grabbed and pulled into an alleyway next to you. A yelp rips free from your chest, losing your balance and almost falling. 

A strong and warm arm holds yours firmly, pressing you against the cold brick wall. Your eyes automatically squeeze shut when your back hits the wall with a grunt, opening your eyes to see Mr. Grumpy Pants from earlier. 

What the everloving fuck-

His hand is pressed firmly against your mouth, and your hands curl into fists, summoning all the strength in your body to land a solid punch on his chest. He yelps, pressing his lips tightly together to silence himself. He glares at you, and you return it just as angrily. Your fingers close into fists, readying yourself for another punch, aiming for his jaw next.

He shushes you, and you only just notice his pinched brows and the shine of sweat on his forehead. He had tugged you behind a wall that separated into a small alcove, out of sight from the sidewalk you were on earlier.

"Turn that nauseating song off." Cole winces, muttering through clenched teeth. Your hands slow to a stop, confused by his words. He grabs your phone out of your hands, pressing pause on your beloved playlist before you can protest.

Your eyes widen in shock, staring up at his stupidly handsome face. His dark brown eyes are filled with the fear of being caught, and you catch yourself admiring the shaggy black hair that frames his face in the most annoyingly perfect manner.

Your mind races with incoherent thoughts, but one sticks out like a sore thumb.

Your soulmate's a celebrity? 

For a celebrity, his music taste sucks ass.

"Am I getting kidnapped right now?" You voice out the most pressing concern on your mind, though it comes out muffled. He turns back to face you with an incredulous expression.

"You don't know who I am?" His voice is hushed, waiting for the horde of fangirls to run past your hiding spot. Your eyes narrow, pushing his hand off of where it's placed on your shoulders. You try to ignore the tingle his touch leaves behind that spreads to your hands and how his choppy bangs somehow manage to fall over his eyes in a somewhat attractive manner when he turns to face you. 

"In the past twenty minutes, you've glared at me, been rude, and practically held me hostage," You snap at him, irritated by the lack of common human decency he seems to display. "And what do you mean nauseating? If anything, you're the one giving me headaches with that god-awful noise you call music that you play daily! I mean, who wakes up at 4 AM?? Only a psychopath, apparently."

You finish your mini rant, having reached the end of your already thinning patience with the boy in front of you. You pant slightly, trying your best to reign in your temper. 

"Noise? Noise?? I could say the same for you! You're disturbing my sleep at night with those ear-splitting synths and breathy singing that sounds like they're on the verge of hyperventilation!" Cole retorts with thinly veiled disgust, taking a step back, dusting off his hands, and wiping them on his pants. 

You eye the action, feeling insulted. Both of you stand in the alleyway, silently glaring at each other. Cole breaks the stare first, scanning the area behind him once he realises the fangirls are gone. You grin, elated at the quiet victory. 

“You really gotta get more variety.” Your smile drops as soon as the words leave Cole's lips, and yours press into a thin line. 

“Speak for yourself.” You can barely hold back another biting remark. If anyone were to see you now, they'd mistake you as enemies rather than the soulmates that you are.

He groans, rolling his eyes. You're tempted to ask what he does for a living but choose to stay silent. You shake your head, still in disbelief that you've found your soulmate. “Out of all people…” You mutter under your breath with a scowl. 

“I could say the same. I don’t know how someone like you ended up as my soulmate.” He retorts, seemingly having overheard. 

“I’m glad we share the same view then. At least that’s one thing we can agree on. Now, let’s make a deal. You go right, and I go left and we never run into each other again. Deal?” You propose, holding out your hand for a handshake. He eyes it for a solid moment, mulling over his decision. Instead of shaking your hand, however, he merely nods, crossing his hands over his chest. Your eyes narrow.

How insufferable.

“Looks like they’re gone.” He takes a moment to glance out of the alleyway, starting in the direction opposite and leaving you to your own devices. You continue to glare at his retreating figure, driving home your irritation by placing your earbuds back into your ears and hitting play.

Immediately, Cole's songs start playing in the back of your mind, much louder than before. You let out an irritated groan, turning to glare at his broad back. Curse his well-chiselled body and toned arms. 

Stupid soulmate.

— — — — — 

“So, how was your first day in town?” Your stepmother, Emily, sits down opposite you, taking out one of the hair clips she used to keep the bangs out of her face. Her hair is messy, tied into a ponytail and her skirt is stained with spaghetti sauce. 

“Decent. Went to a comic book place.” You say through a mouthful. Your response is short, but it’s more than what used to be quiet dinners around a tension-filled dining table in the past. 

“That’s good. Doomsday Comix, I assume?” She doesn’t flinch from your wide-eyed gaze, caught off guard by how eerily accurate her guess is. “I used to work there when I was younger. I hope you found the comics you were looking for. Starfarer, right?”

“Right,” You reply unsurely, spooning another bunch of pasta into your mouth. You forget that Emily had been born and raised in Ninjago, only having met your dad during one of her trips for ‘inspiration’. You and she had a rocky relationship, but one could say that you’re currently making progress - you think.

“Did you meet the ninja?” Your dad asks, taking some sliced-up steak on his plate and placing it on Emily’s. You eye the way she lights up at the action, a nauseating feeling beginning to stir in the bottom of your stomach. “I hope if you got in trouble, they got you out of it.”

“Oh yeah? What’re the ninja gonna do, spin me around till I get a headache?” You snort, chewing on an irritating broccoli stem that refuses to get chowed down on. “Mystify me to pieces? Bore me to death?” 

The sarcastic jabs don’t phase your dad in the slightest. He shrugs, used to your disbelieving comments. “Just be careful out there still, okay? I know Ninjago City is safe but there are still pickpockets around and petty crimes.” 

“Which is exactly why I called in a favour from an old friend.” Emily smiles softly at your father, but it fades slightly when she looks at you, uncertainty in her gaze. “He’s an instructor, and I’ve asked him to teach you self-defence so you can at least protect yourself.”

Your hand slows to a halt, the singular piece of spaghetti dangling off your fork as you blink owlishly at her. “I never asked for your help.” The words slip out before you can stop yourself, hurt flitting across Emily’s face before she composes herself, clearing her throat and picking up a piece of broccoli.

Aaand that’s a streak of 3 and a half months without being mean, gone.

“I just thought that maybe you should stay safe. Besides that,” You can sense the carefulness in her words, trying to choose the right ones to say. “I have an event coming up that I’d like you to attend. It’s a fundraiser, and I would like you to be there.” She pauses for a moment, looking from your father to you. “Both of you.”

“No thanks,” The clang of the metal fork against the porcelain plate makes her wince slightly at the harsh sound. You stand up with your half-empty plate, appetite vanishing just as quickly as a passing breeze. “I’m gonna head out. School stuff to catch up on and all.” You spot your father starting to stand up with a frown, only to stop when she places her hand on his arm and shakes her head sadly. 

You ignore it.

Besides, you have a best friend to call.

— — — — — 

“I think I met my soulmate today.” You instinctively pull the phone away from your ear just as she starts screaming. 

“What? Where?? When?? How????? WHO???”

“Comic book store, today,” you reply, playing with a strand of your hair to distract yourself. 

“Comic book store? Oh no, he’s a nerd.” The mock horror in her voice makes you suppress a defeated groan, picturing exactly how wide her smug grin is. Closing your eyes, you take a moment to inhale slowly. Damn. She remembers. 

When you were younger, you had made a bet with Melody as to what kind of person your soulmate would be. Being the naive child you were, you had bet on him being a superstar. 

Melody, on the other hand, had bet that you'd end up with someone the complete opposite of you. A secret nerd. 

Even at the tender age of 15, she had already read countless romantic books filled with cliche tropes. Right now though, this knowledge is absolutely terrifying to you. You hear a sigh of satisfaction over the phone, lips curling into a frown. “I’m not going to do it.”

“You have to! We pinky promised. Plus, Todd’s back home and if you don’t want me to tell him about-” 

“I’ll do it,” you groan, cutting her off from the effective threat. “The First Spinjitzu Master sent you down for just one reason and that was to make my life even worse.”

“Wait.” Melody says, “What happened to your whole spiel about ‘oh I hate soulmates and I never want to have one, bleh bleh bleh’ ?”

“First of all, that is not how I sound. Is that really how I sound to you??” You gasp. Maybe your whole stance against soulmates was getting a bit too much, even for Melody. “Besides, it’s nothing new. His stupid jazz started a couple of months back or something.” You grumble, deciding to collapse on your bed instead of pacing your room.

“And you didn’t tell me??” She says incredulously, her voice raised. You can hear a faint “What didn’t she tell you?” in the background, recognising the voice as her brother’s. 

“Nothing!” She shouts back at him, “I expect details. Right fucking now.”

“It’s not much,” You sigh, looking up at your ceiling and letting your phone rest beside your head, her voice filling the quiet room through the speakerphone. “It came outta nowhere and honestly? If nothing happened, no way am I about to fly across the world just to see him. I have school. And homework.”

“You’ve never handed in a single piece of homework on time.” Her voice has a hint of accusation. 

“What can I say? Moving gives you a whole new perspective on self-reflection.” You shrug nonchalantly, though you know she can’t see it. 

“What’s his music taste?”

“Smooth jazz and soft rock.” You groan at her awws on the other end, “Yeah, let’s see if you still find that cute when you’re trying to sleep and he decides to blast music at 4 AM.”

“An early riser. Maybe he works out?” Melody’s wistful voice doesn’t go unnoticed. 

“I sense dissatisfaction with your current soulmate.” Your snarky reply makes her chuckle. 

“You wish. Luke’s gonna start going to the gym 'cause I said I liked his biceps last week.” She says with amusement, “Right, I have a date tomorrow. Should I wear the pink blouse or blue?”

“Blue.”

“Pink it is.” 

“Why do you even bother asking me?” You say blankly, grinning when she barks out a laugh. “Have fun on your date.”

“Remember to get autographs!”

“I won’t if you don’t shut up and get to bed.” The call instantly concludes with a monotonous dial tone after you hang up, placing your phone on your table with a grin. You open your laptop with a new sense of purpose, searching for articles on the ninja. Your unfulfilled promise haunts you, knowing full well that although most of your friends thought it was a joke, Melody would be intent on at least fracturing your pinky finger if you didn’t get their autographs.

A sudden knock on the door startles you and your hands quickly close the laptop instinctively. The door slowly creaks open, and your dad steps inside. You turn away, pretending to busy yourself with tidying your desk with minimal clutter. “Is this about dinner?”

“Well,” you hear him hesitate. “Kind of. Look, it’d mean a lot to her if you went, y’know. Besides, the self-defence instructor we asked to teach you has already accepted.”

“Can’t you get a refund?” You finally turn to face him, lips parted to say more until you scan his face. Sunken cheeks and eyes filled with sadness stare back at you, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you’d be more open towards his wife. Towards her. 

And just like that, your temper which had slowly begun to bubble up again at the mention of your stepmom dies down, left with nothing but wisps of resentment. You swallow down the lump in your throat, unable to meet his gaze. 

“Fine. Tell Hamla that I’ll go to her charity fundraiser, whatever.” 

He breathes a sigh of relief, while you focus on your fingers already picking away at the skin on your thumb. Tiny flecks of peeled skin land on the floor, invisible in the lack of light. The skin is red and raw underneath, but you can’t feel the pain, focusing instead on the repetitiveness of the action.

“Thank you, munchkin.” 

The door closes without any further conversation, and the weight on your chest suddenly lifts. It’s still there, but significantly less than before. You close your eyes, hands curling into fists as you breathe out slowly but shakily. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

You open the laptop back up, allowing the bright screen to distract you from any further thoughts. The picture of the ninja fills your screen, one in a black gi catching your eyes. What was he again? The Earth Ninja? 

Glancing at the closet, you mentally flit through your outfit options for the fundraiser. A thought nags away at your brain, as if on the edge of remembering one very important fact. You pull up the article from this morning, rereading it once more as it hits you, looking from the article to the picture a few times before your lips pull up in a slow smile.

Looks like you’d get their autographs sooner than you thought.

[esthelle-wanders]

The Chain: Dancing Headcanons

Because this poll sparked a train of thought, and it’s such a fun concept to explore!

Fairly detailed, so more beneath the cut:

Sky was actually the hardest— but I think he’s the kind of dancer who’s good, but you don’t really notice because he’s not trying to make it beautiful. His swordsmanship is graceful, powerful, and focused, and enough carries over from that to make footwork easy for him. When he’s dancing in a group, though, it doesn’t even occur to him to apply that degree of care and attention, because he’s relaxed and just having fun. He’s game to try anything and learns steps very quickly, but his stamina has limits. Takes frequent breaks and is definitely on the sidelines for the final stretch, applauding and/or nodding off. Likely to get a little goofy when he’s with a group of friends, if somebody pulls off a silly stunt he’ll try it too. Never steps on anybody’s feet.

Time doesn’t really dance in public. We all know he can— those moves in Majora’s Mask were smooth as butter— but most of what he knows is relatively “strange,” things he learned from the Kokiri or his Goron friends or Skull Kid etc., and while he’s not shy or secretive about it, it’s not the kind of thing he wants to exhibit to a room full of strangers. He’s learned from Malon too, so he’ll dance at home or at their own festivals and gatherings, but drag him onto a random floor and he’ll play up being awkward and uncoordinated until you leave him alone.

Wind is an excellent dancer! Kinda like Sky, though, he doesn’t see it as an art form. He has an outstanding sense of rhythm and general musicality; on top of that, he picks things up almost instantly, and can improvise at the drop of a hat. Can and will dance with anyone, anywhere. However, I think he prefers the styles he’s used to from Outset and Tetra’s ship— lots of stamping, clapping, flinging one another about, and singing until it becomes a test of endurance and you collapse. The kid’s all about exuberance, pulse, and the communal aspect— he’s the one pulling people onto the floor, he likes to set the pace, and he’s usually the last one standing— but as long as the music’s good, the aesthetic of the thing is kinda irrelevant to him. (Music does matter to him, though. Screw up the rhythm and he will canonically call you out in front of everybody, RIP Legend).

Twilight doesn’t strike me as a dancer. He knows his own from Ordon, and probably a few “elite” numbers from Castle Town, but he’s only really there for the camaraderie. Gets mixed up a bit and steps on a few feet, but he’s so good-natured about it that nobody minds. Solid stamina, but he’ll drop out relatively early so he can watch and talk to people. A dedicated hype man. I think he’s also the type to get a bit wistful, lonely, and withdrawn as the night goes on, so it’s a good idea to look out for him as much as he’s looking out for everyone else.

Four’s largely an enigma, because he’s the friend at the party who sits at the table and “people watches” all night. If he’s feeling especially sentimental you could probably drag him out on the floor for one or two dances, and he’s pretty decent, but it’s just not his thing. Not that he isn’t participating— he’s collecting memories like everyone else, but he likes to observe, and trade quips with whoever’s dropped out at the moment, and think his own thoughts. You can tell he’s really paying attention, because if anybody reminisces about it later and goes “does anyone remember when —?” Four is the one who recalls exactly what happened. The decisive authority on any disputed chain of events. Rather heartwarming, and shows he really cares (but also he has so much blackmail material).

Hyrule is like the polar opposite of Sky— his footwork’s shabby and he lacks poise, but his movements are so natural and agile that he’s delightful to watch in his own careless, homegrown way. Context and setting really matter with him: he‘s self-conscious in a high-class establishment, but put him somewhere he’s comfortable and he’s the one pulling goofy stunts and teasing people. In the latter environment, he’s the type who gets swept up in the experience and starts laughing. Frequently botches the rhythm, and it takes a while for him to warm up to the locale and the crowd, but once he gets going his endurance is high and he’s there until the music stops or everyone goes home (he may or may not be an extrovert, but the boy LOVES people).

Warriors is a mixed bag— he has beautiful posture, careful footwork, and he’s exceedingly graceful, but like Hyrule, how comfortable he is depends on the setting. Unlike Hyrule, though, he’s far more confident in a formal environment, because he knows what to expect and it’s easier to keep track of people. Dance is more of a social rite for him— not one he dislikes, but not the best conductor for vulnerability or expression. This seems ironic, since he’s also very familiar with the highly informal contexts he encountered during the war— impromptu dances in the barracks or around the campfires between campaigns, along with whatever he’s picked up from moving from place to place and interacting with citizens. To him, though, this is just another facet of dance as a social tool— a way to get to know other people on their own terms and in their own way. This doesn’t mean he’s cold or detached about it; on the contrary, he genuinely values it as a way to bond with people he cares about. It does mean that he’s not very demonstrative or inventive as a dancer, and unless there’s a social reason not to, he’ll also drop out fairly early to talk to people and keep tabs on everyone. He and Twilight are sideline buddies.

Wild’s a better-then-average dancer, but he gets moody, so it really depends on the day. When he’s feeling it, he’s smooth, playful, and creative. Like Time, he knows a “strange” smorgasbord of dances (possibly more than Time knows, though arguably less odd overall), but he doesn’t mind performing them wherever he is, and he isn’t afraid to play around with strange combinations during any given set. Since bits of his knight training have stuck, I figure he’s the type who can be comfortable virtually anywhere— not because he learns the dances quickly, but because he’s probably done something similar before, even if he can’t remember. On more melancholy days, he’s circling the periphery, chatting with Twi or sitting quietly with Four. The self-designated photographer, also has lots of blackmail. The mood and atmosphere have a big impact on him— tense situations really stress him out, but if everyone’s happy, he probably is, too.

Legend is, to nobody’s surprise, the best dancer of the group. Hands down, no contest, everybody else go home. Not only does his travel experience give him the broadest collection of styles, genres, and traditions to draw from, but he possesses the complete Triforce that nobody else quite has together: poise, care, and expression. Outstanding form and balance, and confident enough to make it his own, but he’s also invested in doing it “the right way,” and rarely mixes styles. Has mastered both focus and ease— everything is deliberate, but it looks almost nonchalant. Honestly enchanting to watch. He won’t dance every number, and he spends at least half the night heckling from the sidelines, but once he’s on the floor he’s serious. So good that you won’t even notice if he gets a liiitttle bit off-beat. (Wind will, though. Wind will notice. And Legend will take offense every time. One of those things in life to be relied upon).

[mysticsiddhi]

♰ the fluidity of existence. . .

I touched on this topic with my sister tonight, somewhat unplanned, but I felt I was at a level of understanding to properly explain it. I hope this helps those who feel attached to their current circumstances, to start that process of unravelling. I'll also provide a 'transcript' of our conversation for a more real-time pov of what I'm saying here.

✶ ONE

We often feel attached to our current lives because we've invested so much time, energy, and emotion into it and our relationships within it. This can make it difficult to let go, even when we know there's something beyond this experience, that's gentler or more aligned with our true selves.

We think we're abandoning something, when that's not true at all. It's also why you may continuously return to this experience after shifting. We are attached to goals, relationships, memories here, etc. and we think reality is rigid.

The key is actually in recognizing that reality is fluid and ever-transforming.

When we shift or manifest new realities, we grow. When you become an adult, did you abandon the child? We are like living alchemy, constantly transforming. In a rigid world-view, it's easy to think that the challenges and struggles define our lives/us.

So when we cling to problems/unwanted experiences, we cling to an idea of ourselves that no longer serves us.

Just as you grow physically and mentally, your experiences and realities grow with you. As your circumstances change, your core essence remains the same. It’s not about losing yourself, but about embracing the continuous unfolding of who you are.

Realities are less rigid, more, fluid, moments in time.

Like a continuous line. Each moment is a different point on that line, with each reality being just another moment of experience. Whether it’s this current reality or another one, both exist in the flow of your experience. The other reality could be one where you feel more peace, surrounded by love, and free from restrictions. This isn’t an alternate universe far away—it’s just a new moment of your experience.

✶ TWO

It’s easy to worry that shifting means leaving behind the people we care about. But this is something I call self-ish thinking; rigid, individualistic, egoic reality. It doesn't allow for self-less thinking, which understands that there are two sides to experience. The shared and the individual.

Even in this current moment, each person’s reality is inherently separate including yours and mine. What we perceive as shared realities with our families and others are, in fact, just Awareness choosing to interact with itself through our connected activities/moments.

In truth, we’re all part of one shared awareness.

You and your loved ones are always connected, whether you share a particular experience or not. Just as you don’t feel "separated" from your past selves, you won’t be disconnected from others just because you move into a new reality. You’re simply expressing a different aspect of that awareness, like how a TV can change channels but remains the same device.

I referenced the song "Everything Stays," from Adventure Time, in the original conversation. It's perfect here. When "you" shift, you will be gone, yes. But the "you that is a person" in this reality is still in this broader experience.

Another version of you will continue to experience this version of yourself. They just become parallel to "you"; tldr hypothetical/non-existent as [your] awareness is no longer focused on that version. Maybe that version of you may grow in different ways, complete a series of microshifts (manifestation) of their own, that are shared with the people appearing in their experience.

This is where the idea of a 'clone' came from back in the day, though the correct term is just 'version.' I made sure to put this into a microlens perspective for my sister as well.

ex. I am a 'clone' (version) of "siddhi" who lost her pets a few years ago. "siddhi" from a few years ago is right where she is, and several versions of her have stemmed from that point, it's only that 'I' am aware of this experience. That version of "siddhi" is aware of her own experience.

In the end we are all/one thing (awareness.) Appearing as many different things (past, present, future, different people etc.)

✶ THREE

Fear of letting go stems from the idea that we are as separate as we seem. But if we understand that everything we experience is just a projection of awareness, we see that there is nothing real to abandon.

You are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. When you shift, you’re not disappearing—you’re simply redirecting your awareness to a different version of the experience. Detachment becomes easier when you realize that nothing is truly "left behind."

It's the same with manifestation. It's about recognizing that the micromoment, within the macroexperience (I'm using labels to make it easier to grasp) is not permanent. You only think you should/are holding on to something.

Letting go of the need to "hold on" is one large part of the key to allowing manifestations, and shifts to come into your experience effortlessly.

✶ TRANSCRIPT

Her: I think I just have difficulty letting go. I mean, this life was hard. If I’m going to leave it entirely after working so hard, I’m not really sure why I’m here to begin with?

Me: Well, you 'leave it' every second, though you leave nothing behind. You transform. You are living alchemy. I think, like me, you think the problems define the life, so you don’t wish to let the problems go as a means of preserving the life? And life could also be what you think is "you," yeah?

Her: I know I’m not the self, but in a way I am? Everything is me in the end—3D, 4D, everything. I don’t understand how I could abandon it, even if it isn’t my true self.

Me: Well, why do you think you are abandoning anything? Ask yourself these things, inquire.

Her: But aren’t we abandoning it? In favor of going home?

Me: Do you think in growing up, you’ve abandoned your childhood self?

Her: Well… no.

Me: Then do you think the appearance changes and grows, but at its core, it’s still you?

Her: Yes.

Me: So, why do you think you’re abandoning yourself?

Her: It’s a completely different life and reality. It isn’t the same, is it?

Me: The channel changes; is the TV lost? The curtains are newer, nicer—does the sun die with the old ones? Think of it like this: this reality A, reality B and reality C are all in one continuous line. In one moment you're 'here', and the next moment is reality B. They’re all just moments of that line, and that line is experience. Reality B is just a moment in which my life is gentler, less restrictive for me. I’m surrounded by friends and family who are happy and are their best selves, enjoying lives they deserve. It’s not somewhere else.

Her: But you won’t be here anymore.

Me: Well, I’m not in yesterday either, right? "Yesterday me" is in yesterday with "yesterday you." I won’t be in this moment anymore, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean I’m gone away from you. Are you afraid I won’t be here with you anymore?

Her: Mhm. I know it’s really childish, but I’ll miss you. I don’t want you to be gone until I come home, in case I never end up going. I really miss you. I don’t know…

Me: Hmm, that’s something, but it’s more complicated than that. There’s a concept of separate, individualistic realities, and there’s a concept of shared realities. You think "Siddhi," the person, won’t be here talking to you if you choose to remain in this moment. In fact, our realities have always been separate, and it’s the activities within that seemingly connect them. "Siddhi" will be here, but she would not be "me." She might not have a goal of shifting anywhere. Depending on my/Awareness' will, she would be a parallel me, going about the experiences that occur in this moment called "reality A". Or she would’ve completed a series of microshifts that are still shared with you, like a ‘clone’ (hate that term). Putting that in a micro-lens: I am a ‘clone’ of "Siddhi" who lost her dogs.

Her: So, you’ll never really leave? It’s still you, just different?

Me: You know that Adventure Time song, "Everything Stays"? I won’t be here; in fact "I" am a version of "Siddhi" from this morning. But a version of me will be here, just like a version of you is in "reality B" with me. I think this gets people super hung up on detaching and stuff. At the same time, this goes deeper. We are not real; this interaction isn’t actually happening. "We" are awareness�� decision of this interaction occurring. Awareness wants "Siddhi" to speak to "Sister." Do you see it?

Her: So, there isn’t really anything to hold onto? Or be afraid of?

Me: Of course not. Don’t hold on to me—I’m everywhere and nowhere. I just understood this today anyway. For those who permashift, it’s not like they suddenly disappeared; they literally just make the conscious decision to no longer share an experience with another. Awareness decides no more—the story is done. This has been done in a myriad of ways, from as simple as just deleting their social media to as complicated as bodily expiration (a result of mahasamadhi is a documented example), even the whole fiasco of "shifters shifting to this reality and their old reality being so much worse, for clout" is a possibility when done legitimately. Similarly, this works with manifestation. The moment you are experiencing right now, in which you have or do not have, is not even occurring. You don’t have to hold on to it—it’s everywhere and nowhere too.

Her: Thank you. This is really, really helpful. I feel a lot better about this now.

Me: I think you’ve gone from self-ish thinking to self-less thinking tonight, yes? I know some people unknowingly keep their families suffering because shifting feels like abandonment. This is egoic. Shifting is literally just awareness deciding: a new lens on the same nothing. Because when "I’m" Siddhi B, Siddhi A does not exist. But hmm, if "I" ever want to be Siddhi A again, let’s make her a millionaire. Think Sims 4. Different save files for the same sim in the same game.

✦ siddhi

[broomsick]

regarding your "we aren't meant to fear the Gods" - I agree, but do have any advice on how not to fear them? There's someone who's called out to me and I want to work with him, but he honestly kind of intimidates me

Hi there!

This is quite the relevant question, and I’m actually glad you asked. To be honest with you, this sort of nervousness is part of so, so many aspects of our lives. To feel intimidated before stepping into something new is inevitable, at least for most of us. But we are also nervous before making a new friend, or traveling somewhere new! Taking the leap is what makes the difference. So before diving into detail, I’ll give you this first piece of advice: if you want to work with this deity, take the leap!

I can tell you that being intimidated by the divine is a fully natural reaction, and it’s not one that’s meant to be stamped down or ignored. The nerves are your way to protect yourself in the face of the unknown. The process of trusting a deity works in the same way as trusting a new friend. See it this way: working with a new deity is exactly like meeting somebody new! You don’t need to jump head first into a deep connection. You can take it step by step, and most importantly, allow yourself to stumble and learn with time.

You’re allowed to start at the beginning: by introducing yourself, even if it seems silly! There’s no such thing as embarrassment before the Gods. And in my personal opinion, if this deity has reached out to you in some way, then they are already interested in knowing you! Talk to them about yourself and what you know about them!

If it helps, I’ll tell you something that I’ve learned after years of being polytheistic. The Gods are remarkably like us. I know I’m repeating something that I’ve mentioned in previous posts, but bear with me. They are as beautiful as they are flawed, and they are not all-powerful. They have their own personalities and presences, just like we do. And more importantly: they are nothing to be afraid of. In my experience, and I’m sure lots of fellow pagans would agree, they are warm, kind and caring. No deity will be angry at you for wanting to work with them. Lots of them have been worshipped for centuries after all! They are eager to guide and to help.

Now, I’ve tried not to make this post too long, but I’ve written down a few ideas of things you could engage in in order to loosen your nerves!

Write him a letter! Something to introduce yourself and share your thoughts about him, as well as your concerns.

Look into other people you know who have worshipped him, if there are. How have they experienced his presence?

Send him a short prayer, and stay in tune with how praying to him generally feels.

Play some ambient noises, or ambient music, close your eyes and meditate on him. How do you picture him? What feelings do you associate with him? Just spend a moment fully focusing on your perception of him as a God.

Start incorporating a few elements of his worship into your daily life! For example if he’s associated with a particular animal, then carry a representation of this animal around (same thing goes for any of his symbolism).

Start noticing what songs remind you of him, and why. You might even make a playlist using these songs!

You could also start noticing what activities remind you of him, and invite him to join you (I practice I engage in and which I’ve detailed here).

I hope my little response helps you gather the courage to take this leap. Deity work is rewarding beyond words, no matter the deity. All are so different and all have so much to teach.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Yes or No?"

take a breath and think about a question of any type; then choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read your answer.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3 4 5 6

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

answer: yes even if it's not perfect, it doesn't mean it's necessarily bad: give it a try (trust your intuition). soon a news or someone may come to you, keep working on your happiness and definition of it. act for your own wellbeing first. keep planning. remember you always have a choice too, do not get trapped by yourself/your mind.

song: (everything I do) I do it for you | brian adams

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pile 2

answer: maybe you're not considering an aspect of this situation and it's probably what is keeping you stuck somewhere, not allowing you to see how related this is with another side of your story. change perspective, let go of self tormenting, try focusing on this other part to change your result and get rid of that block once and for all.

song: the end | jplnd

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pile 3

answer: no it's not the right time now. try to not stress over it too much and just focus on what you can actually control. balance your emotions and do not let them guide you. trust in fate, everything will get clearer at the right time. also, not all the offers and suggestions you get are good for you, pay attention. and take good care of you and how you cope with events.

song: die for you | the weeknd

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pile 4

answer: maybe keep healing yourself as your past is probably blocking you or wounding you still. nurture your wounds as they've never been and leave the past where it belongs. you're changing even if you cannot see it, you're being more you. keep going and don't let those little parts stop this amazing transformation happening inside of you. be hopeful and determined. love yourself for having put up with so much like you did.

song: yellow | coldplay

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pile 5

answer: yes let go, it's okay to enjoy and have fun. you don't have to only focus on the serious side. even if it's only one little happy thing, give it the right attention: do not let the other obligations of the day darken it. go with ease, especially on yourself, and remember that punishing yourself for being wrong or a mistake, it's not worth it. you already feel bad for it, no need to add further pain to the situation. it won't solve it. be nice and compassionate with you: you don't need yourself to be anything else than a friend.

song: amygdala | agust d

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pile 6

answer: yes take a breath and stay balanced. i think a breakthrough may occur in your life and it will change things quite abundantly. you may be attracting love and success in your career/school too. take time to look inside and check what are your wishes/desires about. stop fighting with yourself and start working together with yourself. someone may guide you through (or you can ask for help to more knowledgeable people), do not stress too much.

song: true love waits | radiohead

[alexglitches]

Li Jing's Parenting Analysis

A parenting analysis for Li Jing!

I know the seasons been out for a while now, but still putting it under the cut for spoilers

Okay, third analysis about Li Jing, and this time, it’s about his parenting style.

One thing people seem to dislike about him is the way he treats Nezha, despite being his father, and the common argument from people who dislike him is that he is an abusive father, which actually isn’t the case at all.

Sure, there may be some neglect on Li Jing’s part sprinkled around, but that’s more of him just focusing on his job rather than being intentionally abusive.

Parenting in Chinese culture is very different in western culture, and I believe that LMK Li Jing is a well written representation of said parenting skills.

In Chinese culture, parents are all about encouraging their kids to improve and do better, but they don’t praise their children for it, instead they would say something along the lines of “this is good, but you could do better”.

Because of this, and due to culture clash, many westerners believe that the parenting skills of parents in Asia, especially in China, could be considered abuse, and while there are many factors that can make this type of parenting as abuse, this isn’t necessarily the case for most families.

Li Jing’s parenting falls in line with this style of harsh parenting, the type of parent that wouldn’t praise their child, and will sometimes take the opposite side of their child in a fight, however, the Chinese style of parenting is much more “actions speak louder than words”. While Li Jing won’t expressly tell Nezha how he feels, he will show it in little ways (example, Li Jing putting his hand on Nezha’s shoulder, as well as his small smile at the end of the season).

And on the topic of Li Jing and Nezha’s moment with Li Jing telling Nezha how proud he was of him, I think I should bring up how stressful situations bring out the truth in people. And it was especially stressful for those two, because not only was Li Jing put through a ringer of emotions with switching sides and finally understanding what Mk and the others were doing, the world was also about to end, so of course he’d want to get in his final words to his son and how much he was proud of him and his work.

Abuse is much more complex than just ‘this parent doesn’t treat their child right’. There’s a lot of things that go into what abuse is and how it affects everyone. Li Jing was in a stressful situation, the world was ending, he was acting as the Jade Emperor at the time, and he had no idea what the full story behind it all was since Nezha actively kept said information from him. We have no idea how Li Jing acts outside of this stressful situation, so we can't jump to conclusions and assume that his parenting is like this all the way through.

(And a bit off topic, in the story of JTTW, Li Jing and Nezha are constantly working side by side, whether it’s fighting with or against Wukong.)

So to make a long analysis short, while Li Jing won’t outwardly say anything to Nezha, he has those little things that make it shown that he cares. And while there are aspects of culture clash between Chinese and western parenting, it doesn’t mean that Li Jing’s parenting style is abusive. As well as how abuse is much more complex than is shown to us in the show.

I think we need to remind people that LMK is a kids show, and the show is literally rated for ages 8 and up. It’s not going to show any heavy content that is darker for the demographic it’s made for. Yes, writing angst can be fun, but the show won’t do that, since it’s technically for kids.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

have you ever wanted to write paranoid ford

here’s some aspects of our paranoia (and paranoid thinking as a result) that you can use to make him a tad more accurate. of course this doesn’t speak for everyone- but it’s stuff that could help if you have no idea where to start

-if the character’s shower has a curtain, checking both sides before even daring to turn it on. yes, both sides. yes, you do look both up and down. yes, this is an important step that must be repeated every single time to avoid death (in the character’s mind, anyhow)

-on that note, having a bunch of little rules that only apply to them. don’t go in this one room or you die. don’t walk around past x time or you die. be exceedingly careful when opening x kind of door or you die. must sleep with x thing or you die. things like that

-long walks into buildings, especially in open areas. quicken your step, lest someone follow behind. you think they’ll kill you if they catch up. quick quick quick, little rabbit, quick quick quick

-cars. cars driving by (‘what if they shoot me?’), someone sitting in a parked car (‘they’re waiting to run me over’), cars cars cars cars cars

-leaving house. leads you to open spaces, many opportunities to die

-darkness. you cannot see what is coming to kill you

-thinking that there is ALWAYS something coming to kill you

-startling whenever someone pulls out a sharp object near you. they may be cooking. they may just have turned slightly too much towards you when pulling out scissors to open a package. either way, regardless of who it was, regardless of how much you trust them, you fully thought you were about to be gutted like a fish for a moment there

-always keeping your curtains drawn, your blinds closed (‘so they can’t see me’)

-hatred of being looked at (‘why? are you going to do something? if you hadn’t noticed me, there would have been zero chance of you killing me. now it’s gone up slightly’)

-anxiety. always imagining worst case scenario

-flinching when going down hallways and such too fast (‘what if there’s something waiting to kill me around the corner or a fucking spike or something is going to spear me through the skull if i go too fast’)

-*notices one tiny blemish on food* ‘this is going to kill me. i am not eating this. i will die’

-trying to appease invisible forces in order to convince them not to kill you. may include talking to nothing

-if you have objects with eyes or eye-like features in your house, turning them completely away from you when doing something you deem personal and/or important

-going to bed? keep all hands and feet within the ride at all times. you’re sure you’ll die otherwise

-staying in a hotel? you might find yourself focusing on the faint lights of the clock or alarm. you might find yourself focusing on them because you’re sure they’re going to kill you

-‘it’s not paranoia if something’s really out to get you’ and you’re damn sure there is (if only you had concrete evidence so people would believe you…)

-everything is a gamble with staying alive. this thing might lead to your death. this thing makes you fear dying. this thing makes you feel like you have one strike left before you meet your end

-for no reason at all, going to bed and thinking ‘i hope they kill me while i’m asleep so i don’t have to be awake for my death that is surely coming tonight’

-goes without saying, but suspicious of everyone. very hard to get you to trust that someone has your best interests in mind (for example: paranoid ford trusting stan and stan alone to help him, being terrified of anyone else)

-delusions. example from us: actively shutting off your train of thought anytime someone gets too close cause you’re sure they can hear your thoughts and you don’t want them to see anything that could put you in danger (you also just don’t want them to look at those in general)