#it’s just the side characters’ backstories are so tragic and interesting i can’t help but feel more compelled to hear about them

[sinterblackwell]

something very funny to me is comparing what stands out to me most between each mxtx novel

in tgcf, i am much more invested in the side characters than the actual main couple (ex: volume 4 being my most favorite in the series solely because of the blackwater arc). in svsss, my heart goes entirely out to bingqiu, with not as much room for the side characters. and now currently with mdzs, im finding myself actually invested in both the main couple and the side characters.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

a/n: you made it through the character and magic guides, the wiki page and even the reddit post and i hope you had fun doing it! my goal was to make the first few things feel like you were an actual player for seraphim even if it is a bs otome game for a genshin fanfic while also getting the exposition dump out of the way so it doesn’t bog down the actually written chapters. so while you don’t have to read it all, it certainly helps add to the experience i think!

TAGLIST (ask to be added or removed):  @etherisy​

Bold couldn’t be tagged.

prologue; fuck hard mode masterlist | next chapter

“You’re combing too hard,” you tell the maid tersely.

The maid smiles but there is an unmistakable mirth in her eyes at your pain, “I’ve been with my lady for years now,” she coos, voice sickeningly sweet. “I know how you like your hair to be combed best.” 

So [First] tolerated this too? 

Even when this world was nothing but an amusing game for you to pass the time, when trinkets of information like this appeared in Hard Mode it always amazed you. [First] was a cruel antagonist and yet she’d easily tolerate the mistreatment of her father’s duchy in the same breath. But you can’t bring yourself to sneer at her; not then and especially not now. “Yes, well people can change,” you shoot the maid a sharp look in the mirror. “Comb my hair gently. If you still need critiques, I’ll be happy to demonstrate your performance. Take a seat here, I’ll comb your hair and show you as an example.”

“T-that isn’t necessary at all, my lady! I’ll comb in a manner you find more enjoyable,” the maid stammers and you hum in satisfaction.

The hell was wrong with the sadists that made this game, you fumed. Fucking sexists. Scaramouche gets a tragic backstory and gets to live in Normal Mode because he’s a pretty boy but [First] has to die in all the endings?!

Or be miserable, another part of yourself reminds you and you can barely hold back a grimace.

[First]’s marriage to Diluc when the player chooses a Secret Love Interest isn’t anything close to a happy ending.

You close your eyes and hold back a sigh. When you proudly declared on twitter that you would be trying to finally beat Seraphim’s Hard Mode, this isn’t what you meant. But apparently the gods of the Isekai genre and the reckless driver that hit you with their car had other ideas.

When you open your eyes, it isn’t your face that stares back at you.

Of course it was the Villainess.

It’s never the main character. You’re no Lumine.

It’s rarely a side character. You’re definitely no Raeliana.

It’s always, always the Villainess. I salute thee, otome isekai protagonists of anime and manhwas past.

You closed your eyes again.

“You must be excited to see Lord Ragnvindr at the luncheon today, my lady,” the maid pulls you out of your silent resignation and you feel your anger flaring all over again.

“Oh yes, I certainly am, he’s my beloved after all,” you offer what you hope is the face of a woman in love. Your maid gasps as if she just saw the devil incarnate instead. Fuck him, this is all his fault. No I’m not being irrationally mad at the wrong person.

Who cared if Diluc used to be your favorite love interest when you were just a teen on her first playthrough of a new and popular otome game, Seraphim. He definitely kick started your love for long-haired anime men and his princely vows of eternal love to Lumine made your eyes water when you watched the cutscene.

Yes, he did all those things but only after he publicly humiliated his fiancée by dumping her in front of all of high society. Diluc then killing [First] after she justifiably freaked out was just the icing on the cake.

When you began your first attempt at Hard Mode, your heart went out for the lonely little girl who only wanted to be loved but only received scorn in return. You wanted her to reach a happy ending with even just one of the characters in the version of the game that took place before Lumine appeared on the scene.

But this is my life now, you open your eyes once more and take in what you can see of the room’s reflection in the mirror.

A large and spacious bedroom, cluttered with potted plant after potted plant. Monsteras, philodendrons, succulents were among the various plants to grace this space. This room was [First]’s heaven on Earth in the duchy. She tended to each plant daily, lovingly imaging the day she could leave the wretched estate behind for a life with the one she fell in love with all those years prior.

But this is my life now, you reaffirm. And like hell am I gonna go begging for crumbs if I’m stuck here.

You deserve better than that.

[First] deserved better than that.

Fuck Hard Mode.

If this was your life now, there was no way you were going to play by the rules.

If no one wanted [First] around then fine. 

You will happily leave.

next chapter; the luncheon masterlist | next chapter

[musclesandhammering]

The #GirlBoss movement in the MCU is extremely pseudo-feminist.

I could be totally off-base with this, but has anybody else noticed that here lately the mcu has had a slight pattern of making a few female characters ridiculously overpowered as well as turbo-hyped by the narrative and marketing…

This specifically includes Wanda, Carol Danvers, and Sylvie.

I’m in particular talking about how all 3 of them had far less time for character exploration and strength build-up than the majority of the other more powerful heroes, had fairly bland and uncreative personalities compared to the other more powerful heroes (Wanda was coddled by the narrative and not allowed to have any ownership in her wrongdoings which would’ve made her more complex, Carol was a victim of the “having the same arrogant attitude as the douchebro male characters is all it takes to make a Strong Female Character(TM)” writers’ mentality, and Sylvie with mary sue-ed to hell), and were generally made more about the cool powers and ‘oooh such a badass’ moments and the aesthetic than the actual depth.

My point is… they’re all so shallow and performative. It’s like the (mostly male) writers looked at the female character and scoffed and said “ok there’s no way this lady’s gonna become a fan fave on her own- we have to help her. We have to give her a boost. I have zero faith in women being able to gain popularity by their own merit (because who’d be interested in a woman, ammiright?), so we can’t just give her a compelling backstory and let that be it. We have to make sure she has the most tragic backstory of anyone on screen at any given time, and we have to make sure the audience knows it! We can’t just give her a specific set of powers and depict them in an interesting and unique way. We have to make her stronger than any other character she’s going to share screen time with and we have to have her flaunt her powers every ten minutes to remind the audience how strong she is! We can’t just make her intelligent in her own way and give her witty banter with the male characters. We have to make sure she makes them look like idiots and condescends them as frequently as possible so the audience knows it! We can’t just flesh out her morals and let her get things wrong sometimes. We have to make it so she’s always in the right and the audience should always be on her side! And even when she does something wrong, we have to make sure the audience knows that it wasn’t really her fault and she still has the moral high ground! That’s the only way we’ll ever get people to like her as much as the main male characters!!”

It’s just…. This is just rank with a lack of confidence in women. They approach the idea of having women front and center with equal parts skepticism and greed. They’re so out of touch with what women want in superhero films and just what women want in general. They fall into the trap of thinking feminists want everyone to know that girls are actually superior to guys, when in reality we just want to be treated with the respect and humanity and agency guys have always been treated with.

And by creating these female characters the way they do (making sure they’re not equal but decidedly better than the male ones, making sure they’re nearly infallible strength-wise, making sure they’re never allowed to be held accountable for mistakes) they literally defeat that whole point. They’re being extremely counterproductive to what feminists are actually trying to do, because they aren’t actually interested giving women genuinely good representation- they’re just interested in pandering to Twitter stans and casual female fans who form their opinions based on a first glance and girls who are so starved for rep that they’ll praise movie-makers for serving up rank crumbs.

They give us female representation but not really, just like they give us queer representation but not really, and like they give us poc representation but oftentimes not really…. Because (surprise surprise) the multi-billion dollar corporation does not actually give a shit about minority issues.

[adrift-in-thyme]

Rank the LU boys 1 to 9 with reasons

Oh gosh okay

*deep breath*

Here we go

Time. This one’s no surprise to anyone I’m sure XD. I loved the Hero of Time before I even got into LU. His tragic tale struck me as so interesting and heart wrenching. Getting into LU pretty much sealed the deal. He’s just such a great character. He’s through so much yet he’s still kind and tries to be the best leader he can be. I mean, this is the guy who stuck around after his death to train his ancestor cause he felt bad about leaving Hyrule without a hero (and also because he regretted being forgotten. HELLO ANGST). Plus, he’s a major gremlin imo. Just a hidden one lol

Warriors. The captain was actually the Link who got me interested in LU. I read @skyward-floored ‘s fic “Up in Arms” and fell in love with him. I’m naturally attracted to snarky, confident characters with a traumatic backstory and secret soft side (Flynn Ryder was my high school crush if that tells you anything XD) so it was kinda a given I’d love this guy lol. I’ll admit my first read through of LU was mainly me fangirling over him and analyzing his every appearance. (Not that that’s changed much).

Legend. He’s tied with Warriors for second tbh. But since I’ve gotta list them all out I’ll just place him in third. I hadn’t played any of Legend’s games when I got into LU but right after getting attached to Warriors, I got attached to him. Largely because to me he’s extremely relatable. He’s also multilayered in the best way. A soft sweetheart beneath all that snark he tries to hide behind.

Sky. I love Sky for pretty much the same reason as Legend. He’s relatable. Very much so XD. And also more complex than I think he often gets credit for. Beneath the calm, sleepy nice guy demeanor he’s got going on is a fierce warrior who’s been to hell and back for the person he loves. And would do it all again. He fought a GOD for goodness sake! He’s freaking awesome!! Also, Skyward Sword is my favorite Loz game so there’s that too. Plus, him and Sun? Chef’s kiss. Couple goals

Twilight. The older sibling thing endears him to me a lot. He carries a large burden and always has. Plus, his love for animals, gentle heart, and the way he brought down Midna’s walls with his kindness just makes me love him. Who can’t like a guy who rambles about Ordon goats and carries kittens like babies??

Wild. He is widely liked so for me that puts him farther down the list just because I kinda get tired of seeing endless content for him lol. But still. I love him very much. I mean, wild child with a traumatic past, memory issues, a mischievous and snarky side no one sees coming and a fierce love for his friends? YES PLEASE. Also he has long hair.

Four. Since I came into the fandom right around the time when that comic was posted I’ve always been a bit hesitant to write him. But he’s grown on me a lot lately. I actually had fun torturing him for whumptober XD He’s got an intriguing personality and I hope to see more of him in future LU updates.

Wind. I love this little dude A LOT. But I’ve never truly been able to get super invested in characters who are canonically much younger than me. Plus he is just SO HARD for me to write. So while I find his personality adorable and his dynamic with the other Links great, I can’t help putting him farther down on the list.

Hyrule. I like him, really I do. But I just can’t get as invested in him and his story as much as the other Links. I’m not sure why tbh

[princelythirsts]

💌 , 🤪 , and ✍🏻 for the "if ur s/i was canon" asks 👀

Ask game here

Doing this with me and HR Hoffman and me and Mother Gooseberry

💌: How would your dynamic be portrayed? What might people focus on most? Any misconceptions?

Hoffman - …am I allowed to use the “me + the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic” meme? I think we would both be grey area not confirmed to be one thing or the other characters, but people can see themselves in us in that way.

Tbh like 2/3 of our getting to know each other / intensifying our relationship is probably taking turns info dumping about our niche interests and areas of expertise.

Other parts of it would be opening up about our shared experiences / tragic backstory shit. Or making weird jokes together and debating about bizarrely specific sci fi stuff.

I think some people would be squicked by the age gap or something but eh.

Gooseberry -

Oh my fucking god I hope people see us as like a Gomez / Morticia situation. Clark / Malfina shit. Dare I say Ken / Barbie. She’s everything and I’m just a reagent. She’s my tall murderous wife and I’m her hopelessly in love husband.

I think people would focus on the size difference. Maybe me talking about all the dental work I’ve got, they could headcanon I was one of her father’s patients at one point.

I can’t think of many misconceptions right now, except it wouldn’t just be Stockholm syndrome that gets me following her around like her loyal dog.

🤪: What is your trait that fanon would exaggerate?

Me/Hoffman - daddy issues. HELP ME.

Me/Gooseberry - me being intimidated easily, I think people would make me a bumbling shy blushing school boy around her. and not in a fun age play way.

✍️: Overall, how does the fandom trait you? Are you a beloved character, or hated? Are you popular, or a minor side character? Anything in between?

Me/Hoffman - I see myself as a helpful NPC who becomes playable in a later DLC. During the main game I’m mostly working on the base and not going on missions because of my back/hip pain. Maybe in the future once I’m recovered I go on missions and we have fun dialogue together.

I’m not that popular but I’m sure some people would be like oh cool, young person I can project on x older man ship! I’ve seen a few people saying they felt for Hoffman and his desire to find a family, so I think they’d be happy he finds someone.

Me/Gooseberry - lol very minor character. I think I would kinda be treated as a joke but in a fun way. I’m thinking most likely I’d just be mentioned vaguely in a file or two. The curious case of a re agent who got left behind and played along with what she wanted, and then tried to court her.

[curestardust]

Dust Watched: Black★★Rock Shooter: Dawn Fall

Genres: Mecha (sort-of), Action, TW: Rape, Gore // 12 episodes // ALT (x)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

✧  story  ✧

The plot of BRS is difficult to talk about as the moment I closed an episode I immediately forgot what happened in it. The plot is convoluted yet simple, a lot of things, names, and factions are brought up but end up mattering very little in the large scheme of things, and the pacing is wack. I was initially going to describe the whole plot of this anime but ended up realizing that it’s just really not worth it. It’s a post-apocalyptic setting where “big bad wants to defeat humanity”. The problem is really that if you take out the names of BRS characters... this is not BRS. I do realize the VOCALOID community has a lot of alternate takes on the story and the characters, which is half the fun, but this one... It feels like the only reason the BRS name was attached to it because otherwise it’s just such a boring mess that no one would’ve cared to watch it otherwise.

As I don’t much care about VOCALOID, the changes made to the original BRS set-up didn’t bother me (because I didn’t remember what was new and what wasn’t) but I hear that if you DO care about it, that makes this installation even worse.

The tone of the show is also a mess, the first half trying to be very gritty and dark, the second half feeling goofy as hell (you can’t make me take anything seriously with Smiley as the main antagonist), and the final sequence of the finale being just so... “anime”, completely going against the previously established tone, that I straight up burst out laughing. 

And don’t worry! Because the exposition dumping goes so hard, characters talking about the plot while sitting in one place takes up about half the runtime of the whole show. It’s not confusing, but it is very boring and very stupid! :)

✧  characters  ✧

The biggest sin of the whole show is in this section. Did you come here to see Black Rock Shooter (or Empress as her alias is here)? Or Strength and Dead Master? Well, fuck you! Enjoy watching the most cookie-cutter basic-ass “military man with no morals but tragic backstory with the ugliest design in the whole show” take the center stage the ENTIRE TIME!

Initially, I thought he was gonna be just a few episode installment to show a certain side of humanity’s plight as the 2 kids we meet in the beginning leave after Empress helps them with their immediate problem. But with each episode he is just there, sucking up screentime like a leech, from the other human side-characters, to the BRS characters. This anime feels like someone’s self-insert fanfiction.

As mentioned, the worst part of this is the BRS cast. You know, whose name... is in the title? Empress gets some proper screentime, and her recovering her lost memories and reason for existing is interesting (alas the flow of it is always ruined by the damn Colonel). However, Dead Master and Strength are completely shafted up the arse. We meet both of them in the first few episodes for a bit. They’ve also lost their memories and think that Empress abandoned them to die which leads them to attacking her. EXCEPT when it doesn’t. 

Both of their stories come to the same conclusion. Dead Master gets some sweet words from Empress while Strength is saved by her so they just decide to... tag along. That’s where their conflict ends. It’s sidelined so much that when they finally regain their memories and realize that Empress, in fact, saved them in the past, it has absolutely no effect because the 3 of them have been hanging out like good ol’ pals for the last 5 episodes already so this *very important* fact doesn’t change their dynamic whatsoever. And I can’t leave out how the writer’s self-insert Colonel makes this even worse. Dead Master joins Empress first, however she makes it explicitly clear that she couldn’t give two fucks about humanity and she only exists for Empress. Yet, immediately in the next episode, she is taking orders from the Colonel who shouldn’t matter to her in the slightest. This could’ve been fixed so easily too? Have the Colonel bark orders, then have Dead Master immediately look at Empress who nods. This way, she would’ve still been doing what the plot demanded of her but her character motivation and who she is loyal to wouldve stayed consistent.

Then there’s Smiley, some half-robot, half-human thing whose purpose I still don’t understand, Charlotte, who would’ve been infinitely more interesting without her ties to the Colonel, and Lunatic who... is actually a decent villain, with an interesting goal.

Anyway, the way I’d fix this would be by cutting out the Colonel, putting the focus on the BRS cast reconnecting and recovering their lost memories while also taking the new baby “Hemiteos Units” under their wings. If you really want a “representation of humanity” put in a human by all means, but make them some rando civilian who the viewers can actually connect with, and not a an army man. Tell me this doesn’t sound infinitely more fun.

✧  art  ✧

Besides a few establishing shots, it’s really just meh. The character models are CGI which will turn a lot of people off but it wasn’t particularly bad. The worst offender of it was probably the Colonel who we unfortunately see the most of. But the action, which is where CGI could shine, was pretty disappointing and the sequences were usually very short. I guess, the worst part in the art department would hands down have to be the character designs. Jesus christ, they’re so bad. The BRS girls look like off-brand budget dolls you’d find at Walmart, and the new characters had insanely boring designs as well. There was ONE character whose design I actually really liked (Isana’s) and Lunatic’s eyes look really good but??? Everyone is just so boring to look at. EXCEPT Smiley who has the most DISGUSTING design I’ve ever seen. And not in the way the creators intended. Just from a design perspective he looks absolutely horrid and his “ultimate form” looks like a goofy ahh SCP.

✧  sound ✧

Listen, I personally don’t like how VOCALOID sounds so I did really like the OP and the ED but it was a bit odd that they were like... sung by real people? As for the OST, there was maybe one good track, the rest was completely unremarkable. I watched this with JP dub and the VA’s did a really good job with what they were given and are definitely one of the few positives about this show.

✧  overview ✧

“Dawn Fall” would’ve gotten a pass from me if it fell into the “so bad it’s fun” category but it’s just booooooooooooooooooooooooring which is much worse! Don’t ever be boring!

My Rating: 2/10

[asoiaf-source]

For such a minor background character, we actually get a lot of info about her, not all background characters get as much, but I really don’t understand how knowing or speculating more about her personality adds to the story? GRRM has given enough for us to understand aspects of how she was seen by those who knew her and how she was used politically and killed. She is mostly another one of the tragic characters in a backstory, motivation for Dorne to resent the Lannisters and Baratheons, and a connection that fAegon might be able to utilize with Dorne in his conquest of Westeros.

Why does knowing how she felt or thought or what she knew change anything to the relevant narrative being told? The past can’t be changed, what does it matter what she thought, we know what happened to her, she was more or less helpless to affect her fate. If GRRM needs any of this to be known I’m sure he will find a way to let us know, but I really fail to understand why some in the fandom need to take background characters and ‘fill in’ a personality, a highly speculative one, that adds little to nothing to the story being told - and then fight with others over it. It literally adds nothing, affects nothing in the current narrative, or changes events that happened in the past.

Backstories serve a purpose for the current plot and narrative, not knowing everything that happens in the past is also a plot device, something for the characters to discover, but typically the characters that matter were important and active in what happened in past event, not just victims to those events. Also, they are typically related or relevant to those in the current timeline on a personal level - why there is curiosity to learn more about them. Perhaps if fAegon turns out to be the real deal, we can learn something noteworthy about how she accomplished this, but all ‘evidence’ thus far points to this not being the case. fAegon isn’t a main character of interest but another side plot being setup to complicate the main plots. Our main doubts about him come from Tyrion (a main POV) and from Connington (another POV character) who raised the boy. GRRM isn’t going to spend more time on the page flushing out minor or minor background characters unless it is relevant to the current narrative, that is normal in all of good writing.

Regardless of what Elia knew or approved of, it is clear that she was not a diving force in events, she was not the one making decisions. She was a sickly young mother that was ultimately left without sufficient personal protection. No Kingsguard or someone with power to help her and her children, which I think is important as another lack of foresight on Rhaegar's part or a lack of understanding of his father's level of paranoia. He obviously didn't yet fully understand or believe how far his father's condition had gone and that it could, and would eventually turn against him and his family too. Another HUGE mistake on his part, one of many mistakes that lead to the eventual downfall of House Targaryen. Leaving Dragonstone is what made it easier to kill her and her children without having the time and cooler heads at hand to prevent it in the aftermath. Tywin knew what he was doing when he gave the order before Robert and company arrived. He was already aiming for Cersei to marry Robert so his grandson would sit the throne someday. He couldn't secure Rhaegar so he acheived his goal thru Robert.

How much did Elia and Rhaegar truly know or fully comprehend about Aerys condition? Given that he left her in charge in Dragonstone without another strong person by her side tells me he didn't anticipate her needing more help. By all accounts Elia wasn't a strong personality, she was more gentle and sickly/weak. She couldn’t refuse whatever military contingency was sent to escort her back to KL on her own. She also didn't ask her family for help either, no brother or friends to stay with her and help. Perhaps she went willingly not understanding the threat he poised to her and her children until she arrived in KL and not allowed to keep what protection she had. Again, a decision she probably wouldn't have made if she feared Aerys, so again they lacked understanding of Aerys' level of paranoia. Ultimately, whatever she felt or thought doesn’t matter, the fact remain the same, she ended up at KL at Aerys’ mercy as a hostage and there she was murdered. She was an innocent victim and does not seem to have been one of the relevant active players that caused or contributed to what happened in the past.

I think we know enough to get an idea of her and I don’t feel more is needed, at least not as the story is now. So, unless you want to write an AU fanfiction... I don’t get why speculating on this adds to anything of relevance in discourse, other than your own personal headcanon (which is fine, but does not belong in discourse). GRRM treats Elia as he does any other minor background character, gives us enough to understand her tragic place in historical events. GRRM isn’t wasting space on the page with details we don’t need or shouldn’t know (due to the nature of historical events and how the current characters and readers finds out about them with in the constraints of what the current timeline characters know).

In fact, as this post proves, we get quite a lot of necessary details in how Aerys used her and how Dorne was betrayed by the King Aerys, Lannisters and Baratheons in what happened to her and her children and the lack of justice or accountability. More importantly her backstory let’s us know how that affect’s the current narrative and in particular the Martell characters and their motivations and resentments in the narrative, which are far more important to GRRM narrative as it is the main one he is telling. That is ultimately her purpose in the story. I don't think the story needs more than this. She isn’t a real person, but a fictional character and a narrative tool created by GRRM to enrich his story and give motivation and weight to the emotions of his current 'also fictional' characters. GRRM wrote her for us to sympathize with and in turn emphasize with those who remember her and want justice and/or revenge on her behalf.

This isn't real history or real people, they are characters and she is a minor background character in a backstory - that is it, not every character can get POV treatment! GRRM needed her to be what she was for the story to work, she can't be 'smarter or more astute' so as to quickly foresee the dangers and was actively trying to save her kids by trying to go to Dorne where they would have better protection, or stronger willed that she could refuse to leave Dragonstone and shame Aerys and his men for trying to force them... different personalities would handle things differently. She was what she is reported to us through the text already. A rather sickly / prone to ill health, most likely unremarkable normal woman much like any other women of her day born to her position, who had a gentle wit and who was dearly loved and remembered by her family.

Why isn’t that enough? I honestly am asking, I don’t get the need to have her flushed out more, fighting over this, or why any of it is important to the actual story? Am I missing something?

I feel like this fandom spends more time on minor background characters than many of the actual character in the main story, even support ones like Asha, Margaery, or Arianne and the Sand Snake sisters, these are all going to be bigger players in the next book, or even smaller minor characters like Missandei or Gilly or Val or Penny - characters that are actually viable and can still influence the narrative in some unique way, maybe even surprise us.

Saw this post by @queenaryastark and just wanted to add my two cents in spite of the problem always having been that people just want things to be what works better for them and "to make sense" in a simplified way and don't want to hear otherwise-

There are a very few things known about Elia Martell - that the author finds relevant enough to even share with us about a small background character - and yet one of those few things is that she had a good relationship with her arranged husband (political, non-romantic and all, "complex", but he took the time to outline that it was not one of those cases when these things have negative connotations). The only other relationship I can think of that he finds relevant enough to be known the quality of is that with her brothers - because it is a key element to the Dornish plot, no less. And he places her dynamic with Rhaegar beside it!

# No, we do not know that she was best friends with Ashara and depended on her and that she would have done anything out of love and how she was angry because her life was actually awful because of her husband! (she's merely one of a dozen ladies in waiting - a political position meant to benefit one's noble family - who just happens to be the only named one, and that for other plot reasons than Elia)

# No, we do not know that Rhaella loved her dearly and hated her son and thought he was so awful and they both see him as awful and (a silly puerile little fic that made me laugh once) wanted to make her "Crown Princess" ...instead .... somehow! We don't even know if they had a relationship. They didn't live in the same city, and Rhaella's day to day life is heavily monitored and controlled at ths point in her life. It's questionable whether they could even be in any amount in eachother's confidence, hence, even through letters, even if you take out the distance.

ETC.

We don't even know what kind of relationship she had with her own mother. People just want it to be good. They don't want details like putting a daughter with frail health in a very dangerous situation no matter how "responsible" Rhaegar turned out to be for ambition and spite against a political adversary to speak of anything negative. And I'm not saying it is a must for it to have been negative. What I am trying to get to is people are trying to write any other relationships of hers we know nothing about, or might not exist, or might actually have negative correlations from as much as we know as definitely deep and good and rewrite the only other relationship we are given other than her brothers that we are actually told what it was, and make it bad and weak instead. We don't know her dynamic with her own mother to be good, yet we know it is with Rhaegar.

It is a noted fact in the story, and the fact that the author cares little or not at all about others on the other hand but this was noteworthy to write makes it significant, too. And it isn't even a matter of being isolated and lonely and making do because she has no one else to have a pleasant relationship with. She is surrounded by men and women alike, Dornish no less, loyal to her, and they also get along with Rhaegar.

And if we are to take most of Dany's vision of them as real (as there are details like him seeming to talk to her at the end that may be skewy) then they are on good terms until nearly the end. If fanon that claims she hated him/thought herself as slighted and humiliated after the flower crown were true, then this would actually do characterise her as a simpleton/'doormat' instead, which there being an understanding behind his action would not and it doesn't seem to me that the author wants Elia a simpleton.

Yeah, yeah, consequences of his actions ultimately hurt her, though. And so people walk backwards then on the apparent idea that if someone's actions hurt you in any circumstances, then it can only be willful, and someone doing something that ends up hurting someone can only be an 'abuser' and such. All over the place, there are dramatic fanon theories about these two to rewrite what is canon of their dynamic as 'abuser' and 'victim', so that it would simplify the concept of his actions indirectly hurting her.

Canon doesn't support that. Canon gives the fact that he removes his arranged wife from the capital where there is the danger of his father, although that means the removal from the centre of political power, during a very tense political dynamic (literally described as 'like before the Dance'!). Canon says that when Aerys' cruel actions start a Rebellion, and he removes Elia and her children from the relative safety of Dragonstone (with authority no one can undo), Rhaegar comes forth to lead Aerys' armies. And fanon (against previous signs) paints it as him being a one-dimensional evil creature (from the author praised to write things complex) who cares not about fighting Lyanna's family or his lawful spouse and children being in danger near that man... rather than the fact that he is known as looking out for Elia's safety from his father, told to have had his last straw after said father rejects his daughter that he seems to have inspired love and trust in - hence the likelihood of him being caught in between and having no more choice than Dorne. Less, because he also has to go against the family of the girl the author says he's 'lovestruck' about also, because Aerys is dangling Elia and the children, that the author cared to give hints he cares about. Or the fact that he hints of having reached THE breaking point about his father as a follow-up fact at this point through Jaime's memory.

"Are you saying she was complicit in endangering herself? On purpose?"

It is very exhausting to hear such a train of thought from people who supposedly read books, and understand how conflict works, and that being a 'realistic story' with complex characters it means they don't know/understand everything and things are out of their control and happen unexpectedly.

That's how you get ridiculous theories such as "Rhaegar then planned it all to go exactly how it went and knew each thing that would happen and it was for some magical mass sacrifice or whatever!!" Because this is how things work. People make plans and it happens exactly as they expect, bullet points and all. And you'd have millions claiming that's a good writer who does well foreshadowed 'shocks' that the character would not know about and needs to be re-read to fully comprehend and appreciate.

Yeah, it doesn't mean that the plans and goals they may have had would be summarised as 'choosing Rhaegar mistresses from a catalogue' the way I saw it put somewhere. Yeah, that is dumb. But if we don't have the information on characters' train of thoughts from a point in time we don't fully understand, it doesn't mean it is fine to change base facts (the relationship of the two) to make a simple version that explains it away.

"Are you saying she is dumb to think this or that would work certain ways, whatever they thought they were doing/going towards for whatever reasons?"

Again, are we even reading books here? Have we not seen smart characters (sometimes older than these 2) making certain sound sounding choices with certain predictions at the time, and in the end none working out and everything falling apart? Don't we applaud it as good writing? Isn't Varys for example cathegorised as one of the BIG manipulators of history and planner, yet what we hear from people working for Young Griff is the frustration of plans changing all the time because what he predicts/wants/plans doesn't work as intended multiple times?

And since we're on the topic and fanon has mythologised characters like her into ridiculous heights, let's stop for a second to think who Elia Martell would be as a (actually honest) baseline. Young, inexperienced, sheltered by privilege as anyone of her rank and more so for her own health (according to her brother), very optimistic sounding, etc. Yes, most likely intelligent (described as witty), but it doesn't change the implications of the previous qualities. Rhaegar is also most of that (at least idealistic if not optimistic) - though I would say he would at least have the perspective of "harsh realities" due to his family situation, while hers was a loving one as far as we're concerned. So, yes, she could have even made/agreed with "naive plans" as well as him, and they could even have been intelligent about it too, as they both seemed to have been, but it being beyond the point because the world works chaotically and there's no smart enough character that never had plans go wrong ever in ASOIAF.

Another thing that I mentioned but want to emphasise again, though it is hard to believe that a fandom that wouldn't give a break even to characters 16 and younger for 'miscalculations' and not having it all figured out and not doing everything perfectly is... they are both young, too! I don't know what's the overall age demoraphic in this fandom, but it always baffles me that this is not addressed - early 20s is clueless, young, and inexperienced. If one is past it they should know it. There are way too many young characters I guess to conceptualise that (but, again, it is not like this fandom give the VERY young characters a break also so I don't know), but it is very odd when these two are seen as 'very adult' who should have known better (Rhaegar) or knew 100% everything like some 'hit by godly visions' Cassandra (Elia), especially, again, when you account for both being inexperienced and privileged. The 16 and lower characters we know would rank above them both (especially sheltered Elia!) simply by actually being forced into learning experiences.

All in all, whatever the details are or how things can be explained from that point on, people have to accept the fact that the writing makes it more understandable that they would have been 'in cahoots' rather than a cartoonish evil being and a young woman without agency whatsover that is cutie pieing with the man who she is also angry at for doing some great misdeed against her.

Would she think otherwise by the end, when all fell apart? Would there be targeted hate and blame? We can theorise either way, but I am thinking how Lyanna is theorised as such in spite of the author writing roses in her hand when she dies in the same wavelength as writing her brother's hand holding hers - just like we only know of noteworthy positive relationships in Elia's life being a brother and Rhaegar, to the writer.

Sorry, but we're reading a story, and if you don't like what the author writes and implies it's fine. But at the same time you are wrong by default in 'predictions' as to what he would write next instead.

"You are victim blaming if Elia thought or did anything ever than being a silent perfect victim who just had things happening to her while having the foresight of a God and the wisdom of a 100 years old and if it were up to this sheltered inexperienced early 20s woman she would have REAISTICALLY Mary Sued her way through it and everyone would agree and kiss her feet. REALISTICALLY!!!"

No, you are. This fandom is famous for victim blaming (young) female characters most of all who have no control over circumstances around them, not being able to predict the future, not having experience, or just mean well and think better of the world, as long as they are anything but 'perfect victims' whose whole act is expcted to be being pitiful stoned mummies that things happen to, and are held up to unfair standards by the heavy in expectations pedestal that's supposed to be a compliment.

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine the Ember Island Players creating a romance between you and Zuko which hits a little too close to home

You sat beside Katara and noticed how Zuko sat on the other side of her. Aang faltered, obviously wanting to sit there and you smirked as Zuko obliviously missed Aang’s look. Zuko had been with the group a few weeks now but his social skills still weren’t very good and you found it made for some very interesting interactions. His attempt at telling jokes alone made you smile every time you saw him for a full week afterwards and you found Zuko did a lot of things that amused you but apparently not so much the others. “I was going to sit there” Aang whined and Zuko shrugged “so? Just sit next to me”. Aang pouted and you laughed to yourself “here” you said standing up “take my seat Aang” and you moved so he could sit beside Katara. Katara was oblivious and you sat on the other side of Zuko chuckling at Aang’s blush. “What was that all about?” Zuko asked and you smiled “ow nothing you just almost ruined Aang’s evening”. Zuko frowned and went to ask what you meant when the lights dimmed so you knocked his arm shaking your head “i’ll tell you later now shhh”. Zuko folded his arm huffily but stopped talking. The play was wonderfully awful. As you hadn’t joined the gang straight away you knew you had time to just enjoy the first few acts and make fun of the way they portrayed all your friends. Plus what could they do to your character? You didn’t have any old flames like Katara or Sokka and you didn’t have an emotional backstory like Zuko or Aang. So you relaxed arms spread over the back of the bench and waited for *yourself* to make an appearance.

The second your actress walked on stage you knew it wouldn’t be good. They had your character all wrong! Your actress flirted with everyone and acted like a lovesick idiot. You didn’t think it could get much worse and then your character met Zuko’s.

“I’ll save you from the pirates” Zuko’s character purred to yours and you spluttered. “That...that wasn’t even me! That was Katara!” you whispered angrily. You looked to Zuko for confirmation who nodded “yeah I didn’t say that to you...and I certainly didn’t tie you up while staring at you like that”. “And I did not flirt with you like that either”. You both glared as your characters bonded and they actually invented Zuko letting you go voluntarily. As Zuko’s character stared off into the distance and said your name you heard Sokka and Suki wheezing from laughter while you simmered with anger and embarrassment. “I didn’t do that!” Zuko cried and you saw he was blushing vividly. That made you blush too and crossed your arms tightly “they better not stick with this theme”.

Of course they did. By the time act 3 had ended you and Zuko were living a star crossed lovers lifestyle in Ba Sing Sei. They again got you mixed up with Katara and said Azula kidnapped you to lure Zuko to the Earth King’s palace. The act ended with Zuko charging in to save you, offering his own life in exchange for yours, but Azula outmanoeuvred him and arrested him too. As the lights went up for intermission you and Zuko paused before exploding.

“That never even happened!”.

“I knew he was in Ba Sing Sei but we never went on a date”.

“Yeah that was a different girl”.

“And you did not fight with Jet over me”.

“I didn’t even know you knew Jet!” Zuko agreed and you both paused for air.

The gang all looked at each other before bursting into laughter. “What is so funny?” you cried and Sokka smiled. “We all know none of that stuff happened, we were there too remember?”. “Yeah so...can’t we rant?” you asked. “Well yeah but why get so mad about it? Are you trying to convince us or yourselves that the idea the two you flirted is so impossible?”. You and Zuko exploded again at the thought and Sokka and the others burst into laughter again. “All i’m saying is this is a lot of emotion to come from nowhere” Sokka smiled “now i’m going backstage so yell at each other or something” and he disappeared with Suki. Katara and Toph left for snacks and Aang went to the toilet leaving the two of you alone. “But i mean it is ridiculous” you muttered and Zuko nodded “utterly ridiculous”. “Sure we ended up together a few times” you shrugged “but that was completely by chance, it wasn’t like you were hyper-aware of me or vice versa”. “Yeah not at all” Zuko agreed but he wasn’t looking you in the eye for some reason. You stared at him confused and noticed his neck looked slightly red as if he was blushing. “Wait did you?” you asked suddenly “notice me more?”. Zuko looked up and he was indeed blushing deeply “what I....of course not! I never...I mean I did learn your name before anyone else’s but that’s because we spent that time together when I helped the pirates kidnap you and you wouldn’t shut up the whole night”. “Then why are you blushing so much?” you asked and Zuko shrugged “I don’t know I...it’s just them insinuating I like you. I’ve had it a lot”. “You have?” you asked amazed and Zuko nodded “when my uncle heard you’d seen me in Ba Sing Sei and that we’d reached a deal not to tell on one another he had this annoying smirk like i’d done it for any other reason besides the fact it was mutually beneficial. Then when I went back home Azula made it seem like me and you had a thing and Mai got jealous and started asking about you and I had to explain all our interactions and it was very awkward...she wanted me to reassure her by putting you down and making the idea seem impossible but I must have failed because she didn’t believe me. So I guess that’s why it makes me feel weird, everyone keeps telling me I act differently with you and I suppose I do but I have no idea if that’s because everyone keeps saying it or if I always have”. You nodded your head but were unsure what to say. “Well which one do you think it is?” you asked eventually and Zuko paused “what?”. “If you had to guess, would you say you act differently around me because of what people say about us or have you just always acted that way”. Zuko thought, staring at the ground and basically anywhere but at you, “i’m not sure but I guess maybe the second? They must have got it from somewhere I suppose”. “The second?” you asked surprised and Zuko’s blush returned vividly “I’m only guessing, I honestly don’t know”. You nodded your head and went to speak when the others returned which stopped you right in your tracks.  

The second half of the play began of course with you and Zuko reuniting in the prison under Ba Sing Sei. You and Zuko did end up there together but you definitely did less staring at one another. You rolled your eyes as your characters began to passionately speak to one another stepping closer and closer. They finally reached one another and you laughed when your character began yelling at Zuko’s. “Ha maybe they got some things right!” you whispered to Zuko who nodded “you did yell at me a lot”. You smirked and went to apologise when Zuko’s character kissed yours. You and Zuko abruptly shot away from each other. “That is not even close to what happened!” you cried at the others who were all laughing. Zuko nodded “this is just slander! They didn’t even bother to try to get our characters right and anyone with half a brain would realise that!”. Someone shushed Zuko and he glared “shush yourself” he cried before storming from the room. He didn’t return for the rest of the play and honestly you thought that was probably wise. It got worse and worse. They still kept in Zuko’s betrayal of Iroh but changed it making you at the centre of Zuko’s struggle. He chose the crown and they made you react dramatically (even getting a love ballad moment). They then skipped forwards to Zuko at the palace, who got his own song when he realised he’d made the wrong choice. Your characters reunited not long after and promptly confessed their love for one another. Then you were both murdered by Ozai very much in line with the tragic forbidden lovers style.

“I mean I’m just glad she’s dead” you shrugged on your way out “anything to end that romance”. The others smirked when Aang paused “do you think Zuko went back home to the villa?” looking around for the angry fire prince. “No he knows we don’t know this place well, he’s probably just sat outside somewhere” you replied looking around but you couldn’t see him brooding anywhere either. When you walked out the front door and still didn’t spot him Aang frowned “okay everyone split up and look for him, meet back here in five minutes”.

You returned five minutes later to see Katara, Suki, Sokka and Toph all hadn’t found him either. “I wonder where he is” Katara frowned and you shrugged “he’ll be fine, that boy has nine lives”. “He didn’t in that play” Toph commented and you nodded. “True but that play was a mess and there’s one thing I still can’t get over. Zuko said his family and friends thought he liked me that’s where his side of this rumour started but in the play they acted like I encouraged him! Where on earth did they get that idea?”. The group all went quiet and you paused “what?”. “Well...I mean you kinda do encourage him” Sokka frowned and your jaw dropped “I DO NOT! When have I ever...”. “When we got kidnapped by the pirates you teased Zuko constantly and refused to be quiet until he spoke to you” Katara pointed out. “Yes but that was to annoy him not flirt with him!”. “Okay how about when June asked if you were his girlfriend and you replied he wishes instead of no?”. “I was joking” you shrugged and Toph smirked “or how about when I was sneaking out to see Zuko at the Western Air Temple and found you already on your way to see him? What were you popping in to see Zuko for huh y/n? Nice date by the campfire?”. “I was doing the same thing as you! I was going to see if he would tell the truth and given that I knew him best I thought I....”. The gang all erupted and you paused “what?”. “You know him best?” Sokka asked smirking and you nodded “that doesn’t mean anything it’s a fact”. “Ow is it?” Sokka asked and you nodded “It is! Fine if I don’t know him best what was his fake name in Ba Sing Sei?”. Everyone went quiet and you nodded “or how about how long ago he was banished from the fire nation? Better yet just tell me his parent’s names!” you cried. When nobody replied you smirked folding your arms victoriously “told you I know him best”. “Yeah you’ve definitely proved how much you know about Zuko” Suki smirked looking past you. You frowned before you heard someone behind you. You turned to see Aang had found Zuko and by the look on his face he’d heard everything. You blushed and looked down “Zuko we were...”. “Having a competition to see who knows me best?” Zuko asked mildly amused and you paused “well sort of...Sokka started it”. “No I didn’t” Sokka retorted “you declared you knew Zuko the best and when I asked if you were sure you started spouting your favourite facts about him”. “They’re not my favourite facts about him” you snapped and Sokka’s smirk just grew “whatever y/n” and he turned leading the way home. The others all followed and purposefully made it so you and Zuko were at the back. “Why were you talking about me anyway?” Zuko asked and you paused “ow nothing I was just er...trying to work out why the Ember Island Players thought I had a thing for you but the gang was not helpful”. “They couldn’t think of a reason?” Zuko asked innocently and you frowned “no they could actually think of lots of reasons, it appears similar to your family they were also under the impression I held a flame for you as it were”. “Ow really?” Zuko asked. He kept his voice flat but you could swear he was smirking slightly. “Stop enjoying this” you whined pushing him “it’s not funny, it’s embarrassing”. “Liking me is embarrassing?” Zuko asked and you paused “no I didn’t mean that, I just meant having all your friends claim you like someone when you can’t see it”. “You really can’t see where they’re coming from?” Zuko asked and you shook your head “nope not at all”. Zuko looked away and you frowned “I saw that, what did that look mean?”. “Nothing...” Zuko trailed off but you sighed grabbing him by the arm to make him look at you “I’m sick of everyone saying things about me for once just say it to my face!”. Zuko sighed “fine, I just think i’ve been honest with you but you’re not being honest with yourself”. “Not being honest?”. Zuko nodded “Yes, I admitted I could see where my family were coming from and how the rumours started but you’re acting as if they plucked them out of thin air!”. “Well maybe they did! I don’t see how any of our interactions could be interpreted as romantic”. Zuko didn’t look convinced. “You don’t think there’s some truth to what the Ember Island Players said? That maybe there is something here?” Zuko asked gesturing to the small gap between you. “No of course not! Do you?”. “No” Zuko yelled back and you nodded “fine! You are the most infuriating...” you started when Zuko grabbed you kissing you. You initially tensed at the sensation but soon melted into it. Zuko seemed to be trying to prove a point by kissing you passionately and not wanting him to win you kissed him back matching his intensity. Finally Zuko pulled away for air and stared at you “still not want to admit there’s something here?”. You stared at Zuko torn between admitting he was right and your pride. You were annoyed, frustrated, excited and exhilarated all at once. You were breathing rapidly, your cheeks bright red as were Zuko’s and neither of you made to move away. “I...” you started eventually “that was a good kiss”. Zuko nodded, his frustration melting away “it was, I enjoyed it...I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to kiss you for a while now”. “You have?” you asked and Zuko nodded “as annoying as it is to admit my family and friends were right, I like you and I have for a while”. You smiled despite yourself at how adorable Zuko looked all bashful and embarrassed. “I tried ignoring it for a while but then when I joined the group your friends all saw it straight away. Then tonight...the play was bad but I was frustrated that everyone seemed to see it apart from you the person I actually wanted to see it...you”. You looked down wondering how to reply “I’m sorry I bet that was really frustrating”. Zuko nodded “It was and I figured this was just one-sided but that...did you feel it too?”. Zuko looked so unsure and unlike himself it was endearing and gave you confidence. “Yes” you said shakily “after that kiss I can tell you it is definitely not one-sided. I like you too Zuko and probably have since the start”. “Probably?” Zuko asked and you sighed “I’m not good with my emotions, I can be oblivious to them so I can’t with certainty tell you it’s been going on as long as the play made it out to be but I know I like you. Right now in this moment...I hope that’s enough, I know it’s a shit confession and you probably wanted something more solid but I...”. Zuko began laughing and you paused “what’s so funny?”. “Something more solid? Y/n I’m on the run from the Firelord who is my father, my sister is hunting me to kill me and I could very likely be imprisoned for the rest of my life if Aang fails and that’s if i’m lucky...I’m not even sure if I have a future so trust me all I need is the present. To know in this moment right here you like me back” Zuko blushed but he stepped closer and took your hands “that’s more than enough for me”. “It is?” you asked and Zuko nodded “yes and if by some chance it becomes more long-term I’ll be very happy but for now I just want to enjoy this time with you”. You smiled and leant in to kiss Zuko again when someone coughed. “Hey what are you two doing?” Sokka called. Apparently the others had finally realised the two of you were no longer with the group and walked back to find the two of you as you currently were. Luckily it was dark so you moved away from Zuko but still held his hand. “Yeah we thought you’d gotten lost are you okay?” Katara called. Zuko sighed and you smirked at his expression. “We’re fine” you smiled “we were just talking and Zuko’s going to show me this beach he went to a lot as a kid”. Zuko’s eyes shot up to yours and he smiled. “You are?” Aang asked and Zuko nodded “yep, it’s not far from here so we won’t be long. You guys head back to the villa and we’ll meet you there” and with that Zuko tugged you away from the others. You smiled at Zuko and he smiled back at you “quick thinking, I didn’t think we’d get out of there so easily”. “You can thank me later” you replied when you heard Sokka gasp “wait are they holding hands? Y/n are you holding hands?”. “Run!” Zuko cried and you laughed but did as he said. You kept running even after Sokka’s voice trailed off and only stopped when you reached a sandy beach. You both collapsed on the ground and you turned to look at Zuko “did you know this was here or did you get lucky?”. “Totally the former” he smiled and you shook your head “you’re lucky I like you”. “I really am” Zuko agreed and he stared at your face tenderly. His fingers brushed your cheek and you smiled “what are you waiting for?”. “I have no idea” Zuko admitted and he leant in to reclaim the lost kiss from earlier. This time you weren’t interrupted.

[startrekprodigyfan]

Hey animation fandom side of tumblr! I think you guys are sitting on Star Trek: Prodigy! Let me see if I can help get you guys interested!

For starters Prodigy is a Nickelodeon CGI animated kids show. Don’t let the Star Trek name scare you away, this show is literally designed to introduce people who’ve never touched a Star Trek show in their life to what Star Trek is all about! Think of it like their answer to Star Wars :The Clone Wars.

And let’s make no mistakes here, this show is DARK. Even for kids show standards. The setup for the show is that alien children imprisoned on a mining asteroid stumble upon a space ship and use it to escape their enslavers.

Did you like Avatar or The Legend of Korra? Then you’re going to like this show! It’s well written, doesn’t pull punches, and is all about that found-family life!

So let’s meet the characters!

This GWYN! She’s the daughter of the warden enslaving them and is conflicted about her complicity in the Warden’s atrocities. She has a metallic sword that molds itself around her arm!

This is Dal! He’s a bit cocky, but he cares deeply about his crew. He’s not a very good leader, but his growth learning how to be a captain is a highlight of the show! He’s a smart character who unfortunately often acts like he has one brain cel. Don’t worry, it’s not his fault, it’s his many many years of abandonment and mental health issues!

This is Rok and Murf! Don’t let her big size fool you! Rok is actually just a sweet little girl who has one of the saddest and most tragic backstories and development out of all the characters!

And that purple ooze? That’s murf! He’s a slime creature voiced by Dee Bradley Baker! Did you like Momo? Then you’ll LOVE murf! Seriously if you want a blorbo, you can’t get more of a blorbo than an ACTUAL blorbo!

And this is Hologram Janeway! She’s a holographic training program based on Captain Janeway from Star Trek Voyager. She’s the perfect mentor to help this crew learn how to be a… well… a functional CREW! Don’t worry, you don’t need to know anything about Voyager to enjoy her character.

Oh and one more thing! this is the villain:

He’s voiced by Denethor from Lord of the Rings!

So in conclusion…

Sword lesbian, one brain cel, sweet giant, blorbo, AI mother figures, fabulous Denethor!

[chromes-corner]

Dark Choco will (probably) not be redeemed, and here’s why

alternate title: i would rather brainrot about chapter 13 than do homework

Very long and ramble-y post under the cut ^-^

Chapter 13 has been out for a little bit now, and it’s all everyone in the fandom wants to talk about -- and for good reason! After the goofy aside of the Hollyberry Kingdom story, fans had been thirsting for something a bit more serious. Well, as serious as a cookie game can take itself, anyway.

Chapter 13 came with what might be the most anticipated moment in the entire franchise: the clash of father Dark Cacao and son Dark Choco. The confrontation was a pinnacle moment for the game as a whole, just as much -- if not more -- of an edge-of-your-seat moment as Dark Enchantress’s identity reveal. 

now there’s one question on everyone’s mind: will Dark Choco, our tragic hero-turned-villain, be redeemed?

with the confrontation currently happening in the game, now more than ever fans are crossing their fingers for a redemption arc to unfold for our unfortunate little meow meow, Dark Choco. A character with a tragic backstory; a hero with intentions more pure than freshly fallen yogurt snow; a young man who only wished to rescue the lives of his kingdom; cursed to be the kingdom’s end in his quest to save it. surely his arc will end as a happy one, where he can make peace and reconcile with his father?

well...

things are looking grim for our forsaken prince. The odds are stacked against him, and I would like to discuss that in this mini essay. So here are my thoughts:

(cue title card)

Dark Choco will not be redeemed, from a character, writing, and marketing standpoint.

(cool intro music)

Not everyone is meant to be a hero

Dark Choco might be one of the most fleshed-out characters in the entire franchise. He is complex and an interesting character study (which might also be why I enjoy writing him so much) and GOD i could rant and rave about him all day (but maybe that’s for a future post so ill be brief).

Dark Choco sees the world in black and white. When he failed to be the hero, he believed the opposite path to be the only one for him. Dark Choco is not a twisted villain. Dark Choco is not an innocent little meow meow. He is a tragic prince of good intentions who is forced to live with immense regret over the things he’s done (most of which he had no control over, since he was, yknow, literally cursed). The weight of the sorrow he carries with him has forced him to believe that the only path for him is that of darkness. He believes he is no longer capable of anything good because long ago a cursed artifact took hold of him and caused him to unwillingly lay waste to the very thing he wished to save.

To suddenly pirouette into goodness and reconciliation is just... very unrealistic. Dark Choco is burdened by his guilt and he has told himself he is bad and evil so many times that now he believes it. He wants to be good, he wants to help the people he loves, but he can’t, because he has convinced himself that he is only capable of causing pain and destruction, no matter his intentions. This isn’t to say Dark Choco is all sunshine and rainbows on the inside. he’s done bad while fully conscious, but that’s a dissection for another post.

Dark Choco is too far gone into his spiraling mindset to suddenly step onto the side of good. He is the only one who can change his perception of what it means to be “good” or “evil,” but honestly, with how things are going for him, I do not think that will change any time soon.

Context is key

With that out of the way, I am now going to step out of the lens of a character in the game, and instead look at this from a developer’s point of view.

There are many things to say about the Cookie Run games. They are cute little time-passers with simple characters and silly gameplay. Sure, the story can get intense at times, but the game still remains the same -- a goofy mobile application about talking gingerbread men.

Dark Choco is, as mentioned, written to be a tragic hero. Every single piece of his dialogue feels like it was taken straight from a Naruto villain or something of equivalent edginess. That is his character. Fullstop. Period.

To give Dark Choco such a wide arc would not work from a writing standpoint, as it would simply just not make sense at all in the context of the game. To have Dark Choco redeemed, yet all his dialogue from before the redemption remain the same would be an utter juxtaposition and might even confuse many players. It’s not like Devsis would redo all his idle dialogue in Kingdom, either, as that is a huge sink of work and money that would more than likely not return a profit -- what are they supposed to sell, a resource pack with the new lines?? If it doesn’t make money, it will not be developed.

You could argue that there are characters who have inconsistent dialogue and stories, such as Cotton (her story ended with her being a lot older than her playable character) or with Twizzly Gummy (taken back to her timeline by the TBD), but those are malleable in terms of turning them into playable characters. They don’t have arcs that change the intrinsic traits of their character. They remain mostly static throughout their side stories, thus making it way easier to incorporate them into the game as their personalities are more easily pinned down.

Having a character who is already fully incorporated into the game go from black to white is just entirely unfeasible and it would be baffling regardless of what direction the devs would take them in in terms of idle dialogue and characterization -- to have Choco be redeemed and remain the same in the overworld would confuse new players but also make his redemption feel entirely inconsequential, but changing his idle dialogue and such would also confuse new players and Dark Choco would straight up just lose the part that makes him actually complex.

so uh em er basically, from a dev standpoint, this makes absolutely no sense and would only cause problems in the storytelling.

(ok this part was really fucking hard to explain my brain is going brrr but hopefully you get my point????)

That wasn’t very cash money of you

Finally, we all have to take a look at what Devsisters truly is: it’s a company, just like any other, and companies have one goal: making as much money as possible.

Dark Choco is a fan favorite. Why? Because he’s complex and tragic, and let me tell you, fans ADORE tragic characters. When a character - especially one with good intentions -- has been scorned and undeservingly punished, fans go wild. fanart, fix-it fics, and dissections (Like this one!!) run rampant in fandom spaces both online and IRL. All fans can talk about is their poor little skrunkly and how he/she/they deserved better.

And do you know what happens when people rant and rave about their favorite characters?

It begins to interest their friends/followers/mutuals, thus bringing in more players/viewers/readers to a piece of media.

And do you know what happens when more people start following a game/book/show/comic?

The creators make more money.

Dark Choco is a fan favorite indeed. Everyday, I see people on my dash talk about him, draw him, write about him, all because they love him and are sympathetic towards his strife and his flaws and his story. Dark Choco is an interest generator for the franchise. His tale of woe interests people in the games, and thus, makes them play the games.

What would happen if his problems, the very things that make him who he is, were solved?

He’d lose his appeal.

When he loses his appeal, people lose interest in him and talk about him less.

When people talk about him less, the game reaches less people.

When the game reaches less people, the game does not make more money.

If he were to be redeemed, the appeal would disappear, and with it, potential customers. Devsisters will not redeem Dark Choco because they are a company, and baby, he’s workin’ his 9-to-5 on the reg.

So, there we have it, a few reasons why Dark Choco will not be redeemed. Now, I can’t see into the future, so I might be wrong, but I am pretty confident in my analysis. I will actually probably make a followup post on why Dark Choco could be redeemed, but for now, this will quell my insane brainrotting over the Cacao family and chapter 13.

If you have comments about this, feel free to say something! This is all purely speculation, and I’d love to hear who agrees and whos opinions differs!

thank you for reading my long post about a stupid mobile game!!!!

[litrary-lover]

Disclaimer : This is an obnoxiously colourful post, just because I was in the mood and no other reason. Plus this is my first proper post. Also the CAPS don’t imply shouting because I am angry. It implies shouting because I am excited. And if it isn’t obvious, I am very new to Tumblr and ACOTAR fandom.

I don’t understand how is Lucien a “pointless side character”. He has been a CONSTANT presence since book one. People think Tamlin was the main character in ACOTAR? Think again.

He was there in almost all scenes in the ACOTAR book(except the smut).

A lot of interesting information about the Fae and Prythian was conveyed through him.

We even got his tragic backstory from Tamlin. Why tell his backstory in the VERY FIRST book of a series if that is not going to playoff later?

During Amarantha’s challenges, Lucien was the ONLY one targeted by Amarantha AGAIN AND AGAIN.

Lucien was the ONLY ONE openly challenging Amarantha.

SJM said that she wanted to make Nesta and Lucien mates, but changed it later because their personalities would have clashed in a bad way.

Let’s forget about who the mate is or was supposed to be, but it’s important to note that he was to HAVE a mate since SJM wrote the first book(Nesta had flames painted on her drawer in the SECOND chapter of the book).

Would a “shitty side character” have a decided story arc of GROWTH & HEALING since the SECOND CHAPTER OF THE FIRST BOOK OF A SERIES ?

In ACOWAR, we see more of Lucien than Tamlin.

And then there is the surprise mates thing.

In ACOWAR Lucien gets to tell his story. We even get a (invasive but highly welcomed) POV.

We see so much of his character development, backstory, thought process in the third book. I don’t understand how people say he is a side character.

Not to mention how politically well connected Lucien is throughout the Courts of Prythian.

We got to see Cassian’s POV in ACOSF without this much buildup in the previous books. And what a wonderful character Cassian is ! 😘

ACOSF isn’t Lucien’s story and he was supposed to be the human lands but we still get to see and hear him from the two people who have interacted with him the least. Lucien was deliberately written in ACOSF.

And he is so well dressed and good looking that even Amren called him the “HANDSOME ONE”. 😏 And he is loyal !

Plus he has Autumn Court fire in his veins and even Feyre can’t help but imagine Elain subject to that fire. 😆

Lucien has trauma in his past as well, but he deals with everything in such a mature and positive way. He is one of strongest characters written in the ACOTAR series. In every way, mental, physical and magical strength. We are still to see his whole story unfold, just like Elain’s.

[codenamesazanka]

I feel like I can’t stress enough how important Spinner is to the ‘My Villain Academia’ arc, and how badly I need BONES to give him the attention and care in portraying him that he deserves. BONES have been pretty faithful to the manga, they’ve followed the story and brought each scene on the page to the screen... Except for some reason not when it comes to the Villains. Maybe it’s because arguably the Villains wasn’t the focal point of the show and they weren’t what most viewers watched the show to see; fine, but that was the case in the beginning and no longer.

Shigaraki Tomura, his exploits, his character, his story *is* the manga: the Heroes and protag react mainly to him and his actions, his past and motivations is one of the main factors that caused the current central conflict, and resolving his character arc is what will probably bring the whole series - to its end or near end. Yeah, imo I argue that everything about him moves the plot along.

Unfortunately(?), I think Horikoshi-sensei realized/decided/planned this a bit too late in his pacing. He said himself during the Stain arc or so that at first, he wasn’t planning on doing villain profiles - he wanted the villains to be scary.

But for the time being, I have no intention of writing about [the villains]. I do the introductions because l personally like those sorts of behind-the-scenes things, and also because I want my readers to feel a connection to the characters. But with villains, I decided I can't have them too likable. They're supposed to be terrifying.

Often it’s what we don’t know/understand/predict/expect (and therefore can’t get a grasp on) that makes things scary/uncomfortable/dislikable. The Villains were strange, seemingly erratic and incomprehensible in their behavior and motivations, malicious without rhyme or reason. Even now, I think a lot of people still think they’re just ‘completely evil crazy psychopaths’.

Anyways, the quote from him is from Volume 7. A whole bunch of volumes later in Vol. 23, he decided nvm: “The story has evolved beyond that point, so I'm ready to start doing villain profiles.” As he said himself, the profiles are to help the readers connect with the characters, make them relatable and likable. That’s what My Villain Academia is all about in the meta sense - to demystify Shigaraki Tomura and his ragtag chaos friends, to give them depth, and to induce interest in their stories, if not sympathy. Hype them up for the rather major roles they play in this ‘final arc’ of the series.

Enter Spinner, the lizard ninja guy.

Besides his unusual looks, Spinner is really, truly nothing special. He’s got a weak quirk, he holds no title of being the strongest or smartest or whatever member of the League, he’s not related by blood or thematically to any major players in the main conflicts, and his ‘tragic’ backstory is completely mundane compared to his allies - he was bullied as a child, and so is fueled by resentment. In the events leading up to the start of the arc, Spinner is the most moral and understandable of the Villains - has a ‘good’ reason for his crimes (eradicate corrupted Heroes), has standards on who he’s willing to fight (questions attacking the police and anyone with a ‘true heroic spirit’), and wants a concrete game plan instead of aimless discord the rest of the League seems alright with.

Once the arc starts, we immediately learn the basics of his character - he’s got a heteromorph quirk that makes his appearance a humanoid gecko and it’s something he was born with that he can’t control, and yet he faces discrimination from literal KKK-type cultists who refuse to see him as human. This was more or less his life in his small, rural hometown, harsh enough that his heart had become ‘completely empty’. It’s simple, it’s relatable and an realistic analogy anyone who has faced prejudice and harassment and been hurt by it can understand.

All this is so Spinner ends up being the most normal and typical sympathetic of the League of Villains, which sets him up to be a sort of ‘gateway Villain’. It’s why he’s narrator. He doesn’t understand at all the crazy All For One shenanigans, he’s thinks Shigaraki is an incompetent weirdo, and he asks what we were all thinking: “Shigaraki Tomura, what the fuck are you doing.” Quite obviously, Spinner’s meant the audience surrogate and so he is. That being a core of the way the story of My Villain Academia is told means it needs be followed by the anime adaption.

This core sets up the rest of the arc - sets up how we will come to view Shigaraki Tomura and his backstory, alongside the rest of the League Villains, their relationships and dynamics with each other, and who they are at heart. Shigaraki’s telling of his distorted origins in Chapter 222 is horrifying as it is already; but it’s Spinner’s worried-facial-expressions reactions littered throughout the chapter that adds to it by telling us one major thing: Spinner’s an empathetic guy, because he immediately feels a kindred spirit with Shigaraki when the latter talks about the hollowness he feels. So begins the audience surrogate’s change of opinion and us readers going along with it, and also: that Shigaraki Tomura now has Spinner’s concern and attention - and is deserving of it.

Pardon the sudden heavily edited quote, but CS Lewis says,

Friendship arises...when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common...which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique [burden]. The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one." ...And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.

That’s almost word for word Spinner in that moment, suddenly realizing he’s no longer as alone as he thought. He’s no longer as alone, and this means perhaps neither should Shigaraki. Because established in that very chapter, too, is the hate in Shigaraki’s heart fueled by his grief and despair, the loss of his family, past, and faith in others, his misery of thinking he’ll never feel good again. Yet - there’s Spinner, willing to extend some empathy and care, the very antidote to all that Shigaraki had revealed. Because the desire for companionship (or at least the lessening of the pain of loneliness) is universal, even among villains - maybe especially among these villains - we probably love to see it. Want to see it.

On that basis - friendship borne out of empathy - Spinner puts his faith his leader, puts his trust and support, and the rest of the arc is us following the tension of whether he was right to do so. Whether Shigaraki would live up to what Spinner expects of him, whether Spinner will side with Shigaraki despite their earlier conflict. Whether they could become friends, or something like that. And once they do, the consequences of this as things spiral more and more out of control, beyond this arc - that Spinner would know Shigaraki well enough to do something crucial at the turn of a battle later, that Spinner would stick by Shigaraki’s side when he’s in danger, that Spinner is loyal enough to Shigaraki to help him as a friend should.

Through Spinner, we come to see Shigaraki, originally incomprehensible and terrifying, as someone beyond a Villain or a leader, but rather someone valued as a person, a friend, a fellow silly gamer nerd. He’s still scary, of course - just less so, with a seed of doubt of his doom that Spinner - and only Spinner, by virtue of his specific narrative and emotional role in this arc - planted in their characters and the story.

It’s because of Spinner that MVA works, by itself, and as a stepping stone towards the rest of the series. So he really needs to be everything he is, was, and more in the anime adaption please BONES oh my god please

[hachichimitsu2]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE SOUTH PARK: THE RETURN OF COVID SPECIAL

When the special started off with Stan and Kyle playing catch together, I knew I was up for a ride. 😎

First things first, I weirdly feel like the intro of this special should’ve been the intro for the first parter. It would make for a nice transition from the status quo of pre-covid to the future now, and the Heather William element of the story would tie seamlessly with the end of the second special. The Heather Williams factor in the story felt like it was a last-minute decision for plot convenience. But then again, Stan’s tragic backstory would’ve just been laid out in front of us instead of it being a depressing reveal, so I guess it would be hard to write around that.

I do prefer the first special moreso than the second in terms of pacing and flow. For all things considered, I LIKE the fact that they didn’t try to stop COVID in the end, but only their outlook on the entire pandemic, which I feel is a much needed message we need in our current state of the world. The time travel aspect of the second special was a lot shorter than I expected, and felt like it should’ve been expounded upon more. I wanted the reconciliation of the broship to be more…resonant I guess? Just one precedented time is able to help the boys reunite, but I feel like their problems grow much deeper than that, so just sticking on a band-aid won’t really help it much. Maybe we’ll still see them at a rockier footing in the new season, who knows? Still, the resolution felt really fast. I’m just hoping we’ll get a lot more Main 4 interactions hence forth.

The character animation is well-done, perhaps even more so than the last special. Tweek’s stance when he screamed, Token’s action scene, Alexa’s rampage on Kyle? They were all so well-animated! I really have to give props to the animation and production crew, especially given how they did everything remotely.

I actually liked the Alexa gag, even if it doesn’t fit in the special tonally. It’s like a repeated big-lipped alligator moment. I was wondering WHY Stan kept asking to see the deals and specials from the first special especially during socially inappropriate moments, so knowing that he’s doing that to prevent his Alexa from going batshit insane is actually funny. I also like Kyle just being…concerned and scared the whole time 😭

Omg I KNEW Butters was gonna introduce us with a “Hey fellas!” However, NONE of us could have ever predicted that he would become an NFT investor. I’m sooooo glad that Matt and Trey didn’t pull any punches in regards to NFTs and cryptocurrency. I was lowkey worried that they would take a neutral stance in this subject matter, but I’m glad to see that’s not the case.

Butters’s design is also still…..CUTE. Like he’s still adorable with his voice and mannerisms. I can’t help but laugh at how Butters still pees the same way. I definitely dont think Butters is OOC considering we had “Butters Bottom Bitch”. Butters can be a convincing, competent salesman when he’s up to the task. He’s almost like Cartman in a sense, which I find to be REALLY interesting. The Cartman / Butters interactions are just like the old days 😭

Kevin being the lovable nerd that he is. I’m actually really surprised to see his appearance 😯

I was curious on where Ike was, and I’m glad he’s looking as Canadian as ever. He also has a “Canadian” accent now 🤣

I really wish we had more Creek moments, but it’s fine 😭 They’re still cute.

Also more great Clyde moments. Clyde still being a great representation on how anti-vaxxers halt our progression to move forward in the pandemic. Even as an adult, he still sides with Cartman as always.

Also, adult Clyde mentioned that someone told him not to get the vaccine because it’ll grow titties on his head. Was that person “himself”? Is the timeline really as connected as we speculate? Is this a huge significance that we may be overlooking?

The Stan and Randy talk was really heartfelt. Everything with the staging, cinematography, music and dialogue. It was great, sprinkled in with some humor. Randy pretending to be dead in the end is so funny.

I still can’t believe that in EVERY single timeline, Randy fucks the pangolin. I really really wanted the weed to have SOME type of significance to the time travel, but it was just so Kenny gets to be high. I don’t know if that was intentional because they really set it up to be this huge thing.

Unrelated topic but Kenny went back in time successfully, right? What….happened exactly? What happened to the timeline he went back to? Did he try to get the broship together? Why did he come back? Was it because his efforts were unsuccessful? Why didn’t we see MORE of him? You’d think he’d have a bigger role in this just like the first special 😭 Was Kenny immune to Butters’s NFT escapades? I like to think that only he can withstand Butters’s convincing pitches, which is why they work great together.

Now for the ending. If you know me, you’ll know that I’m not really a huge fan of fixed future endings. I like open-ending scenarios where we fill in the gaps ourselves and was surprised that Trey and Matt went with this route. It honestly felt a bit “too satisfying”, almost like a weird fever dream. It doesn’t feel all too real.

I have a really hard time believing that Cartman would end up homeless. I’m not a Cartman enthusiast, and he definitely deserves his just desserts, but the idea of him being homeless and not having ANYTHING going on with his life is really, really hard to believe. It just feels…off. You’re telling me that the kid who has successfully rallied up citizens, opened numerous successful business ventures and has a way with manipulating people to get what he wants ends up homeless without any direction in life? It seems more like a “ha-ha” mean-spirited type of ending rather than something more realistic.

So apparently, Cartman’s love for his family is real. I’m not really sure what to think about this, but Cartman reverting back to his old ways after coming back to South Park is an interesting concept. However, I hate how it subliminally insinuates that he only becomes like this because of Kyle. Kyle didn’t make Cartman the monster that he is. It’s all internally motivated. Cartman’s perfectly capable of change, it’s just that he doesn’t want to out of his own pride, ego and greed. I wish they rewrote it in a way that goes a whole lot deeper than that, instead of Kyle being the sole reason. (Though I feel like they added that bit solely as a joke).

I also don’t think Yentl is Kyle’s wife, because they would’ve shown her at that point, especially to drive in the nail that Kyle got everything he deserves and “Cartman didn’t”. But them not showing Kyle’s wife is something that makes me ponder. Why didn’t they show her? Are they divorced? Did Kyle adopt those kids as an only-dad? Like sure they have red-hair, but it’s darker than his. Or is he actually a surrogate father? M-preg? It’s like they made this intentionally ambiguous for me, and I find it funny how this is the only aspect of the future that remains open-ended.

I actually like Stendy. Not as strong as Style or my other ships, but it’s not a ship that I dislike. It’s not my endgame ship for sure, but whenever I watch South Park I’m always mentally preparing myself that they might become endgame one of these days. (Side note: Watching Guitar Queero (the gayest breakup and reconciliation in media) only for The List to happen afterwards made me extremely vigilant on this manner ☠️) I’m glad that they didn’t end up married and with kids, and are just two adults “chasing their dreams”. It just seems like a mature way to portray it. They made their part sort of ambiguous in the end, so I’m also perfectly happy with the idea that they’re just really close, platonic friends. The idea of Stendy still being on / off is also a possibility, considering that aligning space missions with Wendy’s line of work must be difficult, but eh. No matter the outcome, as long as Stan is happy, I’m well content.

By the way, I’m going to ramble about Style in a delusional, totally bogus way from here on out for my own self-indulgent fantasies, so feel free to skip! This shouldn’t be taken seriously like…at all! You have been warned.

I’m SOOOOOO happy with all the Style moments we got in this special.

I already mentioned how seeing them play together in the intro has already gotten me hyped. I’m such a mess. All those Alexa cutscenes are just so hilarious with Stan trying to bypass everything and Kyle growing more and more concerned. I’m sure at the back of his mind, he’s like “Is that how he sees himself as?” I think it’s interesting how their Alexas were talking about the two of them. Like, talking about what exactly? Does Stan vent to his Alexa about Kyle? ☠️ What could he have possibly told his Alexa that made Kyle’s Alexa hate him? And not to mention, Kyle’s Alexa told him about his liver, which is 🤨. Is Kyle asking his Alexa information about Stan. Is he that concerned for him? It’s EXTRA significant when Kyle starts acting “differently” to Stan after getting his Alexa.

Kyle really does try to show that he enjoys having Stan around like showing that he’s using the Alexa Stan bought for him, but obviously it comes off sort of forced 😭 Him trying to instill a “We just have to be positive” attitude only for Stan to be like “Dude, seriously?” is something I wish was delved a bit more. I really wanted a long discussion between the two about the status of their relationship since they still brush everything off with either a detached sense of fake positivity (Kyle) or drinking his sorrows away (Stan) instead of actually communicating. It still seems like they are afraid to really have a heart-to-heart talk about confronting their issues directly. I love me my angst, but I wished we got MORE. Maybe in the newer seasons? If not, more cute, super-best-friend moments, thank you.

Stan and Kyle summoning for their Alexas will ALWAYS be badass. It’s been such a while seeing Stan and Kyle just working as a team 😭

I like how the bridge scene really solidifies how it’s STAN AND KYLE that suffers greatly from the broship breakup. Cartman and Kenny still lead good lives in their timeline, but Stan and Kyle were the only ones leaving empty. I love how it still shows that they REALLY need each other in their lives no matter what in order to move on and have a happy future. If that isn’t poetic, I don’t know what is.

Taking off my Style goggles for a sec, I’m fine with Stendy being “canon” since it doesn’t hinder with my personal headcanon that Style still happens later on in life as a late-bloomer gay realization type of thing. Honestly you can wave any non-Style canon pairing in my face and it STILL won’t hinder with my Style endgame headcanons. I’ll always find a way to make it Style, and despite always taking truth to canon, this is the only aspect of South Park where I project things for my own personal enjoyment 😂 All things considered, I’m still happy that Kyle sees Stan as family and an important person to his kids, if the “Uncle Stan” wasn’t indicative enough. No matter what happens, Stan and Kyle will always be an important figure in each other’s lives and it’s really sweet! 😭

As for my headcanons, I personally like to think that Kyle is divorced and only married someone and had kids because he knew Stan and Wendy are still a “thing” and thought he definitely doesn’t have a chance with him. The thing is both of them are really oblivious to their own feelings toward each other, which is why it takes them this long. They realize their feelings for each other eventually and get together and are thriving with their cute little family. Kids still call him “Uncle” by accident, but they love him as a kind, supportive father. Kyle is always waiting for him to return home safely during his missions. They have a nice, balanced life. This is it. My coping mechanism. 😭

Style goggles off.

I’m curious as to how they’re going to progress with the seasons this way, especially since we now know the “true ending”. I cant help but feel like Matt and Trey wrote themselves into a corner UNLESS the “true ending” isn’t true at all 🤔 I’m anticipating how things will continue on from here on out.

I’ll be rewatching this in a bit, and update some new things I can find, but that’s the jist of all my thoughts for now. Lemme know if you agree or disagree 👀

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Sole Crusher

Well... It's finally here... the episode introducing the new bee hero. And what do you know? It looks like I was right about how the new character would be portrayed.

It's kind of funny how I made predictions exaggerating what could happen, and they were surprisingly accurate. Isn't that funny?

Let's just get into the seventh (chronologically the seventh and the seventh episode in the season to air after “Mr. Pigeon 72”) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Sole Crusher. Damn, I hate that a pun this clever was used for the title.

We get to the point pretty quickly with the first scene being Zoe arriving in Paris and getting a tour of the city. She asks to stop at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, where she meets Marinette through some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. The two quickly strike up a conversation.

I mean, it's not like Zoe is the sister of the absolute worst human being in existence, right?

Marinette compliments Zoe's shoes, and she points out that she designed them herself, and wrote every good thing anyone has ever said to her on them. But because she only has one friend, there's only a standard “I <3 U” on the left shoe.

So Zoe leaves the bakery and heads to Le Grand Paris where she meets her mother, Audrey. Unlike how she talked with Marinette, Zoe pretends to be just as snobby as Audrey in order to fit in. She then meets up with Chloe, who criticizes her for having poor person things like a phone without any diamonds embedded in it. And then she sees Zoe's shoes.

Look, that meme was already dated when it was referenced in Black Panther three years ago. Please don't try to reference memes in 2021, Miraculous Ladybug.

Chloe offers some golden heels while saying that those kind of shoes are for winners to wear and crush the losers underneath. This is the only episode to mention this kind of ideology, and believe me, it gets worse when Chloe decides to teach Zoe how to be like her.

Get used to this. This episode is all about demolishing any semblance of likability in Chloe's character. Now that Astruc doesn't have to bother with writing Chloe with decency since she's not Queen Bee, watch as he turns her into an absolute caricature of her former self.

Yes, Chloe has ordered her father to give her a lot of frivolous things in the past, but she has been shown to care about him, like immediately rushing to hug him after she was safe in “Origins” and showing concern for when he was akumatized into Malediktator while apologizing for causing it. For the love of God, one of the first things she did when she allied with Hawkmoth at the end of Season 3 was to have him unto her parents' akumatization. I guess she only cared about her rich parents for their status and not because she actually loved them right?

Next up on the list of Chloe's positive qualities to ruin is her friendship with Sabrina.

🎶It's seven o'clock in the morning🎶 🎶I can't believe they made this scene🎶 🎶With the writing Astruc's enforcing🎶 🎶It's like he's trying to piss off me🎶

Yep, Chloe doesn't view Sabrina in a twisted view of friendship anymore. Now she's a slave. I'm not exaggerating by the way, he actually said that in a tweet.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Okay, so I guess all those times we saw Chloe playing superheroes with Sabrina in “Antibug” and “Miraculer” were just a slave driver playing with their property. Actually apologizing to Sabrina for getting her akumatized in those episodes? Protecting her from the Scarlet Akumas in “Ladybug”? She was just interested in keeping her slave around. I think Astruc may have slept through the slavery unit in his history class. Yes, Sabrina was mostly used as a joke to show how controlling Chloe could be, but there were still semblances of an actual friendship between the two.

Chloe arrives at school and introduces Zoe as her half-sister, despite being the same age and having the same mother. Because I guess we can add basic biology to the list of things the writers don't understand. Now that we're at school, Chloe's friendship with Adrien is next up on the chopping block.

Yep, despite being Adrien's only friend and making a big deal about valuing his friendship to the point where she threw a big party just to make sure he wouldn't leave her and risked cooperating with an Akuma to save him, now Chloe just sees Adrien as a rich meal ticket. Two of the earliest episodes to show Chloe had a more compassionate side to her, and they just undid them. Even as much as I hated the episode, “Felix” showed Chloe was willing to cooperate with Marinette and her friends just to find a way to cheer Adrien up on the anniversary of his mother's not-death.

For the love of God, Astruc, 1984 was supposed to warn people about what could happen if they rewrote the past, not encourage people to rewrite the past. He probably finished Animal Farm thinking Snowball really did work alongside the humans, didn't he?

Marinette comes up and Zoe pretends to hate her, leading Marinette to wonder why she did that. She texts Zoe (she gave her number to her earlier) and invites her to a concert on the Liberty, but Chloe finds out. Zoe thinks fast and pretends it's just so she can torment her more. Chloe then takes out a book listing all the ways she can torture Marinette. I wonder if this is a metaphor for the writing process behind most of the episodes last season.

Zoe decides to go outside for some fresh air, and Andre comforts her. Funny how Andre bends over backwards to give Chloe whatever she wants, yet he's willing to actually talk to Zoe like an actual parent. Andre tries to cheer Zoe up, but she talks about her past where she had to put on an act so she would be liked, but (bet you've never heard this before) she just wants to be accepted for who she truly is. The surge of emotions is enough for Shadowmoth to akumatize her into Sole Crusher.

In addition to having one of the most clever puns for an Akuma name, I actually like Sole Crusher's design. Not only is it a good excuse to reuse Chloe's character design, it makes sense thematically, as Chloe was trying to mold Zoe into a copy of herself. The gold and diamonds also make sense given Chloe's love for shiny things. Her powers tie into the bizarre belief Chloe has about stepping on the winners. Whenever Sole Crusher kicks or steps on someone, she absorbs them and gets progressively bigger, making it easier to do so. While it's not cracking my top ten anytime soon, it's still an interesting character design.

Sole Crusher heads to the hotel to get Chloe, and she manages to get away pretty quickly. Maybe in an alternate universe, she's a track star? For some reason, she runs to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and then... Oh my God... pushes Marinette's parents so they get absorbed by Sole Crusher, before trying to do the same with Marinette.

When has Chloe ever done something like that? Whenever she endangered someone during an Akuma attack, it was unintentional or a result of her naivety. She was only trapped in Pixelator's dimension because Adrien tried diving to save her, she only alerted Rogercop to Ladybug's presence because she eagerly called out for her, and during “Zombizou” she only tried to throw Sabrina towards the horde of kissing zombies once, and that was meant to highlight her growth. The only person to actually do stuff like this consistently is Lila, but I guess she got vaporized by Big Brother offscreen.

This episode is determined to make the audience hate Chloe by retconning everything about her character while portraying her as a complete monster. As bad as Chloe could get, she was never selfish enough to use anyone as a human shield. This kind of behavior honestly could be explained by saying Chloe was lashing out as a result of losing the Bee Miraculous permanently, but the events of the Season 3 finale aren't mentioned ONCE, not even in the next episode that introduces Queen Bee's replacement! How the hell can you set up the next Bee hero without explaining why the original needs to be replaced in the first place?! And trust me, I'm going to talk about Zoe replacing Chloe later.

Sole Crusher grabs Marinette in her hand, so the Horse Kwami, Kaalki, uses her power to teleport over to Adrien's house and inform him Ladybug needs help, meaning once again Adrien did nothing in this episode before becoming Cat Noir.

At the Liberty, Chloe offers more victims to Sole Crusher in the form of the band Kitty Section (consisting of Luka, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene) and theatens the giant golden supervillain she can send her back to Paris, even though she's really not in a position to bargain right now. And she STILL continues to insult her. Do you hate Chloe yet? Come on, do you? The writers won't stop until you do.

After we see Sole Crusher's conflicted emotions, Marinette is set free by Cat Noir and transforms into Ladybug, immediately summoning her Lucky Charm, a shoehorn. They only learn Zoe's sneakers were where she were akumatized thanks to Chloe's ranting, so the episode unintentionally made Chloe save the day. Ladybug breaks into Le Grand Paris and breaks the sneakers where Zoe hid them, using the shoehorn to open a door. So Sole Crusher is de-evilized, Ladybug fixes the damage, and gives yet another charm to Zoe.

Afterwards, Zoe goes to the Liberty, apologizes for the act she put on, all while divulging to the audience her “tragic backstory”.

Of course, everyone welcomes her with open arms.

And right here is where the biggest problem I have with Zoe as a character. I normally hesitate to use this term given how often it gets thrown around when criticizing characters these days, but I really can't say anything else.

Zoe... is a Mary Sue.

For those who don't know, the term Mary Sue originated in a Star Trek fanfiction from 1973 satirizing several self-insert stories at the time. Most of these stories showed a beautiful young woman joining the crew of the Enterprise and immediately gaining the attention of the crew. Mary Sue parodied this character archetype by showing how much she was appreciated by Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, the latter being driven to tears at her funeral despite his species being emotionless normally.

What does this have to do with Zoe? She has the exact same storyline as Mary Sue in the parody fanfiction. Her mere presence is enough to make Chloe act extremely out of character in an attempt to make her look better, and as soon as she apologizes while giving a frankly vague backstory, everyone just accepts her as their friend, and I mean everyone in the entire class. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't feel earned. Why was she bullied at her old school? What did her bullies have against her? What caused her to stop going along with her peers, and why did everyone turn against her? How the hell did the bullies who put cockroaches in another student's locker get no punishment while the victim was forced to transfer schools? It's an intentionally unclear backstory designed to make the audience feel sympathetic towards Zoe without actually doing anything else.

I want to ask anyone reading this who watched the episode a question: Outside of her backstory, what do we actually know about Zoe?

What is her personality like? She's nice? Socially awkward? We've never had a character like that in Miraculous Ladybug before! Sorry Marinette, Adrien, Juleka, Nathaniel, Mylene, and Marc, there's a new character with more personality than all of you combined!

What are her goals? She wants to be an actress? Great, but why? Even though there's no clear answer for why Marinette loves fashion, or why Alya loves journalism, or why Nino loves DJing, you can still see the passion in their lives when they do something related to their goals. Zoe only says she wants to be an actress, connecting it to her people pleaser backstory (and given how it ended, she must be a terrible actress), and in the next episode, she immediately gets the lead role in a student film.

When Mylene got the starring role in the movie in “Horrificator”, we at least got snippets of her acting skills in the same episode that established her desire to be an actress, which is also implied to be because she was inspired by her father in “The Mime”. She didn't just say she wanted to be an actress and got the leading role. She still had problems to overcome like her cowardice, which threw her own self-confidence into doubt. Here, Zoe just says she wants to be an actress, and is rewarded for no reason the very next episode.

Zoe basically exists only to be a foil to Chloe, and the writers had no idea what to do in terms of a personality, so they just dumped a bunch of extremely likable character traits onto her without thinking of how her character could come off. And like I said, she's a Mary Sue.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've seen a handful of posts on this very site calling Zoe a Mary Sue. In fact, I even asked another Tumblr user @anxresi​ to quote their take on Zoe being a Mary Sue, which I couldn't even top in terms of accuracy. They basically listed off five things that made Zoe a Mary Sue.

She has to have a ‘tragic backstory’ so all the other characters will fall in love with her. Usually within minutes, in the very first episode they’re introduced.

She has to have a supercute design so that the audience at home will fall in love with her. And if they don’t, they’re automatically dismissed as ‘haterz’ even if their objections are purely from a writing POV.

Her only flaw will be thinking too little of herself. “What, lil ol’ me as the Bee Miraculous holder? With my shyness, colorful shoes, chic beret and personalized pink strip in my hair? Gosh, who’d have thought it?”

The contrast to her half-sister will be a constant plot point, with Chloe always getting dumped on. “You see, kids? Bad things happen to bad people. But you see this super-sweet girl over here? She gets a free DAD. Instant FRIENDS. To star in her own MOVIE. The chance to be a SUPERHERO, even though she only arrived last week. Who cares if she has no depth, no personality and barely any reason for being in the show, apart from being a massive ‘Up Yours’ to all the Chloe fans out there?”

What about character development, Mr Generic Zag Guy? “Development? What’s that?! Zoe is already perfect as she is. The only ‘development’ she’ll receive is having her hair done in the first episode she’s introduced. Besides, That‘d’ word is banned here at Zag studios. Why do you think we abandoned Chloe’s stillborn arc so quickly? This is a KIDS show, why bother trying to create a complex character with more than one dimension?”

This is essentially who Zoe is. She's perfect, has no character flaws, has a cute design so the audience will love her already, and was designed only to replace Chloe as Queen Bee. That's all she is.

So the episode ends with Zoe feeling happy at all the new friends she made while we get one of the most blatant attempts of symbolism in the ending card I've ever seen.

See, look. While Marinette is happily talking with Zoe with the image of Ladybug next to them, Chloe is to the far left with an EVIL purple aura, showing how bad she is compared to how great Zoe is. Only a braindead moron would actually like Chloe over the super awesome and pretty Zoe!

I'll give my final thoughts on the episode in the next part where I analyze this plotline as a whole.

LINK TO “QUEEN BANANA” REVIEW

[quibbs126]

Do you think it would have been better if Bronev had never been revealed to be Layton’s biological father?

If you want to hear my thoughts, they’re under the cut!

Okay see while I think yeah, this backstory makes Bronev more interesting as a character and not just some evil old man, I also feel like because of this, the writers felt they had to bend over backwards to make Bronev sympathetic, and it just didn’t work.

Like yeah, personally I’d want some dimension to his character and reasons for his actions, because while we don’t need him to be good, if he had just stayed “evil old man” he really would not have fit with the other Layton villains, mostly because they all tend to have some level of depth to them. Like yeah sure Bill Hawks doesn’t get redeemable traits and we all agree to hate him, but he also wasn’t the main villain of the game; Dimitri and Clive were, and both of them got depth. So yeah, I don’t see a problem in adding something more to Bronev

Only problem is, I think making him Layton and Descole’s father just makes him that much harder to redeem, given that he’s tried to kill them and has murdered Descole’s family. Like okay, you shouldn’t do that to anyone, but it becomes a whole other level of messed up when they aren’t strangers, they’re your own children

Like maybe it could work if he’s supposed to be like a tragic figure, where he started out with good intentions but over time he grew so obsessed that he can’t even remember why he’s originally doing this and ultimately turns against the very people he once cherished, but only if they don’t try to redeem him; have him be a tragic character without being a redeemable one. Maybe the writers should have just picked a side and stuck with it instead of trying to have their cake and eat it too, if you get what I’m saying

Also his motivation isn’t clearly defined, all we really know is that he liked archaeology and that he intended to see out he and his wife’s “dream”, but it’s pretty clear her dream was likely just seeing their children again, and he just misinterpreted it, which doesn’t really help his motivation, it just makes him seem like a bit of an idiot. Also it doesn’t really justify hurting his own children; if he was unrelated to them it would be a lot easier to accept, he’s just harming strangers 

Here’s a hypothetical tweak where Bronev isn’t the father of Layton and Descole: his motivation could still be about his dead wife (I know, it’s sticking to the formula but just stick with me), perhaps the two were archaeologists who studied the Azran, and their dream (or maybe even originally just Rachel’s) was to find the Azran’s ultimate legacy, but Rachel ended up dying prematurely and so Bronev dedicated the rest of his life to seeing their dream fulfilled because she never could. Sort of like Carl and Ellie from Up, albeit a bit twisted by the end. At some point Targent got involved (or maybe even Bronev created Targent if you want to go that route?) and Bronev became so consumed by his desire to fulfill their dream that he started to get more extreme with his methods, thinking no cost was too great, and he turned into the person we see now. Maybe the release of the golems gives him the realization that all the things he’s done now were for nothing and he gets a wake up call about all the atrocities he’s committed, and he ends up helping the group defeat the golems and goes away with the police to try and atone for his actions in some way

So honestly, it’s not that different from canon, but I feel like having him not be related to Layton could have really changed the way we interpret Bronev

Also side note, but something I’ve noticed is that aside from Anton, basically every villain’s motivation ties back in some way to Layton. Typically not because he’s the cause, but because he’s usually connected to their respective defining events, and I feel like having that not be the case for Bronev could make him stand out a little more

As for Layton’s actual parents in this scenario? I dunno, you could still have them be abducted by Targent, that’s pretty vital to Descole’s motivation, but maybe by canon day they’re long since dead. Mostly because this is late in the game and introducing Layton’s biological parents now as completely new characters who were just…part of Targent or something would feel really rushed and more like a cop out than anything else

And also I think Descole being Layton’s brother is still a fine twist, I don’t think it really impedes either character in any major way (other than Descole trying to off Layton and co a few times, especially in Eternal Diva, but I can also just equate that to weird writing choices or Descole just having fits of insanity or something), it’s just Bronev that makes things a bit iffy, you know?

Anyways, I think I might have gotten a bit carried away there. Bottom line, I feel like maybe it would have worked better if he wasn’t

[mccoyyy]

moving this to my new blog so I can pin it again lol

@stregoni-benefici you are completely correct but I just wanted to expand on this a little bit - also i’m putting this under a read more cause this got a lot longer than i originally thought it would be

sexism: smeyers treatment of female characters throughout the entire series is extremely problematic. like you don’t even need to read deep into the books to see that. the backstories of all her female characters all involve some form of trauma and are significantly more violent than the male vampires (Rosalie and Esme enduring physical/sexual assault meanwhile Edward dies of the flu and Emmett gets vibe checked by a bear).

she also creates the idea that a woman isn’t complete without children/being a mother. every female vampire in the series is desperate for children yet can’t, its mentioned in pretty much every book and extreme emphasis is placed on how tragic this is. a female character wanting children isn’t wrong or sexist at all but the way its written in twilight makes it seem like its something a woman has to do in order to be happy and smeyer pretty much cements this idea by making Bella suddenly desperate to have Renesmee despite showing no interest in children/audibly voicing her thoughts against having children in eclipse and the start of breaking dawn (i’m pretty sure Bella has a line of dialogue in the books where she says something like she didn’t realise it was something she wanted/needed until it happened bit I’m not sure I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)

there’s also the way she writes female characters, specifically Rosalie. its mentioned throughout the series that Rosalie has extreme mechanical skills and multiple degrees in STEM fields but its barely ever shown, and instead her characterisation focuses on being obsessed with her looks (first couple pages of this, written by smeyer for new moon), and being a ‘stereotypical bitch’. for the first three books most of her character/dialogue is based on being cold and rude to Bella. She is unnecessarily painted as the villain for having different views on Bella (quite literally) giving up her life and future to be with a man (which is a whole other can of worms). the same is done to the character of Leah in eclipse/breaking dawn. Leah is a woman in the Quileute Tribe, she has been severely affected by the Cullen’s presence in the area and is painted as a character that the reader is supposed to dislike simply because she doesn’t like Bella/the Cullen’s despite having extremely valid reasons not to

anti-Native - smeyers treatment of native tribes is horrendous. she has profited fr years off of of native american culture for years and has done so without any acknowledgements. furthermore, she also demonises native american teens (especially in new moon) by calling them wild, violent, dangerous and out of control and then uses these stereotypes to create a contrast between the self control and patience of the Cullen’s and make them seem more like the good guys, and the wolf pack being lesser. She does this again with the treatment of Jacobs character in new moon and especially eclipse.

Jacob starts off in new moon as Bella’s best friend. he helps Bella come out of a severe depression caused when Edward left at the start of the book. however in eclipse his character makes a complete flip and he becomes moody, temperamental, argumentative and disrespectful of Bella’s boundaries. his character becomes unrecognisable and despite smeyers claims of a love triangle, it is obvious what the outcome will be. I have seen countless instances of people on this site claiming they hate Jacob because he is a dick/disrespectful/just as unhealthy as Edward. this was done on purpose by smeyer as she uses Jacob to make Edward seem like the obvious and correct choice for Bella. if you need more proof of this, take the scene where Jacob kisses Bella without her consent and she breaks her hand when punching him, Edward swoops in and almost gets into a fight with Jacob for touching Bella without her consent. this is an obvious attempt to make Jacob seem like the villain and Edward the white saviour

there’s also the treatment of the native characters by the white characters in the books. multiple times in the series, the native characters are called/compared to dogs/brutes and have a distinct unpleasant smell. I don’t think I need to explain how this is racist. the pack also helps the Cullen’s/saves Bella’s lives and never receive any acknowledgement/are treated any better by the Cullen’s/anyone really. the pack are only ever used as a way to make the Cullen’s look better.

there’s also some pretty obvious similarities to colonisation with the Cullen’s entering Quiluete lands which then forces them to start phasing into wolves (and I’m pretty sure none of the pack actually want to start phasing). also, remember Leah? the only female member of the wolf pack? because of the change she effectively can’t have children? that has implications.

and to top it all off, after doing all that, smeyer has never once addressed this or even acknowledged the Quileute Tribe.

pedophilic - I mean even without mentioning breaking dawn its pretty awful. first of all you’ve got the blatant sexualisation of minors throughout the entire series. Edward is 17 throughout the series and smeyer is writing literal paragraphs about his chiselled abs. Jacob is 16/17 when she has him running about forks topless with a 6 pack. this is way more apparent in the movies but its still a huge issue in the books and lead to Taylor Lautner being confronted by adult fans trying to get him to sign their underwear, and being forced into being shirtless for most of the movies which made him extremely uncomfortable (Elizabeth Reaser (Esme) briefly talks about this in the ID10T podcast on spotify). and just as a reminder, Taylor was 16 when the first one was filmed and 17 for the second.

Breaking Dawn is a whole other can of worms. the glaringly obvious issue is Jacob imprinting on a literal newborn baby. now the concept of imprinting itself has racist elements to it, but its heavily implied in the series that imprinting will inevitably lead to a romantic relationship. Jacob imprinting on Renesmee and waiting until she is old enough to enter into a romantic relationship (never mind the fact that shes ‘old enough’ she will still technically be 5) is pretty much grooming. The same happens with Quil and his imprint, Claire (a two year old) where I’m pretty sure there’s a scene in breaking dawn where Jacob and Leah are watching Quil play with Claire and talking about how Quil isn’t going to date anyone because he and Claire are ‘pretty much inevitable’ (i might be wrong though, like I said I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)

smeyer has also written a spin off book (its like 250 odd pages) called the short second life of Bree Tanner (Bree is that newborn vampire killed after the battle in eclipse by the Volturi btw). In this book, Bree is 15 almost 16, and another character Diego is 18 which is definitely pushing the boundaries of ok. (also as a side note, funny how Bree and Jacob are literally the same age and smeyer states multiple times how Bree deserved better and is only a child (who straight up kills people), yet when it comes to Jacob he has to be a responsible adult and is vilified for every mistake he makes)

racist - smeyer refused to let Catherine Hardwicke (director of the first twilight) have a diverse cast because she ‘imagined them a certain way’ (white) and it was a fight to get Edi Gathegi cast as Laurent and had to compromise with smeyer to make Bella’s friend group more diverse. this woman straight up refused to hire more diverse actors and only agreed to when they were side characters/villains.

Also in the official companion book/guide to twilight, smeyer literally writes that vampire venom makes you white

‘the venom leeches all pigmentation from the skin into a more indestructable vampire form…regardless of original ethnicity a vampires skin will be exceptionally pale’ (official illustrated guide pg.69)

this is a whole lot of bullshit cause she is literally whitewashing characters, but when you pair this with the idea that vampires possess inhuman levels of beauty it becomes extremely problematic and implies that being pale/white is more beautiful than darker skin tones.

also, if we go back to Laurent’s character for a second. so Laurent is one of the only characters who isn’t described as white (in the books he is described as having a pale olive skin tone) and in the first book he comes across as pretty reasonable (warning carlisle about James/Victoria, travels up to Denali and tries out the veggie lifestyle) but in new moon, his characterisation pulls a 180° (sensing a theme here) and is suddenly trying to kill Bella as a favour to Victoria and is Evil™ despite in the first book he literally says to Carlisle he didn’t particularly like travelling with James/Victoria and was only really doing it for convenience. where did this undying loyalty come from? yet again, smeyer is completely disregarding established characterisation in POC characters specifically to villainise them.

and finally, we have Jasper. for some reason (that reason being that she is racist) smeyer decides to make Jasper a confederate soldier in his human life. if you don’t have a lot of knowledge on the american civil war, the confederacy were the side of the US that seceded from the union in order to keep their slaves. Jasper was a confederate soldier, and not just any soldier, but a major. Jasper was a major in an army that fought for 4 years to keep the existence of slavery (and don’t even try to say that slavery wasn’t the root cause of the civil war. states rights aye? states rights to do what). now there’s an argument out there made by certain fans that a lot of people joined the confederate army out of pride/were forced into it cause of conscription to try and head canon the racism away but like that doesn’t matter. there was literally no need to make jasper a confederate in the first place. if she was so desperate to have a civil war vampire then she could have made him a member of the union. its been common knowledge that the confederacy was racist for a long time now, smeyer has absolutely no excuses here.

a lot of these issues overlap and I have probably missed heaps of issues (so feel free to add on) but hope this helps explain why smeyer can *ahem* get tae absolute fuck