#it’s just skinny mfs making shit all about them as usual

[bl00dhoundsfang]

i swear bro, when this semester is over, i’m writing some cute/filthy fics with the Men of COD x PlusSize!Reader (gn). too many of y’all cater to skinny white girls in your xReader fics and i’m SICK OF IT. SICK AND TIRED. i do NOT have a narrow waist and porcelain skin, i have BROWN SKIN and a MUFFIN TOP and my thighs rub holes in every pair of pants i own, aite??

also i’ve always had a headcanon that König prefers chubby girls/bois and absolutely nothing and no one can convince me otherwise. he’s a big boi, he’d want someone that he wouldn’t snap like a twig, u feel me?

[crowleywowley]

hai….i’m back….here to give more modern (plus some general) hcs!! :3

⭑i like to think of john and abi as highschool sweethearts :) But they were pretty on and off, so everyone was surprised when they made it to senior prom (john wore those tuxedo t-shirts)and eventually graduation! they got pregnant with jack a few months after graduating

⭑when it’s time for spring cleaning, DUTCH IS THE LOUDEST MF IN THE HOUSE. he’s blasting the 70s music, waking up everyone in the house very loudly announcing that it’s spring cleaning day…poor hosea, john, and arthur

⭑i like to think charles makes these super pretty bracelets and sells them online :3 some of the gang members got some! they’re very meticulously crafted and he takes pride in his art!

⭑Karen is def a crazy cat lady. She has FOUR OF THEM!!! She’d give three of the cats really pretty names but let Sean name her most recent one…in which he named the poor cat “napkin” 💀

⭑Dutch and Hosea have an unreal amount of hawaiian pattern shirts..it’s crazy. hosea wears them in the spring and summer but dutch wears them year round

⭑For some reason, it’s tradition on Arthur’s birthday to go to Texas Roadhouse (I know he’d FUCK UP that bread they give as appetizers). He usually has his family, an s/o, and a couple friends there :)

⭑Speaking of fucking up rolls…I think Artie in general would just have a guilty soft spot to sweets. His s/o would come back with those rolls or just any pastry or candy and arthur will feel so special and spoiled! He’ll also do the same thing for them in return :) (Or just any kinda fave food they like)

⭑Lenny was a SUPER smart kid in school. I like to think in the modern au he just graduated outta highschool, but he got all of these scholarships and awards for being such a smart kid. He’d def major in some sort of writing or literacy thing in college

⭑Sadie can and will destroy anyone at those bull riding things at restaurants. she’s got a plaque of her name on it at a restaurant she won at!

⭑This is more of a general one, but seeing Arthur and John compared to eachother is so funny…Arthur is like this big bear while John is skinny and dorito shaped

⭑It’s also funny seeing the heights of the vandermatthews (name still in progress) family. From shortest to tallest it goes Dutch (5’8”…short dutch all the way), Hosea (5’10”), John (5’11”), and Arthur (6’2”)

⭑One time John borrowed Dutch’s laptop and clicked on a weird website, giving the laptop a virus. John was grounded for a few days and Arthur didn’t stop teasing him about it

OKAY!!! that’s all i have rn ^^ i think i might be saying too many hcs but i love making them…they’re too fun!! (sorry for showing my arthur favoritism again sighhhh 😭😭)

So sorry it took me several days to get to this, real life has had me busy 😔 but I’m here now and EEEEEEEE so fun and silly!!!!

-I’ve also always seen John and Abi as a high school sweethearts type of thing, I think they broke up and got back together so many times in that immature high school way until like senior year when they just stayed together

-Dutch is that one vine where the guy was dancing to Morning Train by Sheena Easton

-crying real tears rn imagining Charles crafting stuff for his pals🥹🥹🥹🥹 I could see him eventually getting into bigger crafts too

-Listen I’m gonna defend Sean bc I just KNOW that napkin the cat fits her namesake so well. It’s one of those skrunkly white kittens

-Arthur having a sweet tooth is canon in my heart sorry ladies, I think he’d enjoy baking goodies for his friends/partners bc he’s suchhhhh an acts of service/gift giver love language kinda guy

-I think Lenny was just one of those kids in high school that everyone loved. He was nice to everyone and genuinely really smart, sorry haters but he definitely got voted prom king or something. As he should!!!!!!

-Sadie drives a cool truck but not in a douchebag way, like that woman is hauling shit AROUND!!!!!!!!

These are all so fun and so silly! It’s been a rough week so I genuinely enjoyed getting to read these :) yall please never hesitate to blow up my inbox with thoughts like these!!

[moonlightdancer26]

im not a massive prongstail shipper (prongsfoot <3) but i've had this headcanon for fucking ever and it just isnt appreciated enough in marauders circles childhood bestfriends with supposedly unrequited crushes its a v popular marauders headcanon that james and peter knew each other before hogwarts, having both come from established magical familes so i just get brainrot about bb james and pete running around and doing all those childhood bestie things like getting married in their gardens and making wedding rings out of paper etc etc and just,,, neither of them realised they were each others first crush? as they grew up they realised "oh,,, oh i like liked him, didn't i. you dont usually marry people you feel completely platonically about." they are both emotionally constipated teenage boys who spend ages stewing in angst going "i loved him, but he'd never love me back D:" even though if they had a single conversation talking about their hisss feelings the problem would easily solve itself. but they dont, and years in the future, everything goes to shit. and peter doesn't realise that james still kept that tiny paper wedding ring

YES YES YES, I always loved the idea of Peter having an unrequited crush on James but I was always kinda hesitant to fully explore the ship, and today I just went fuck it and decided to announce it on tumblr.

I totally believe Peter and James are both the most oblivious mfs to ever exist, so the idea of them both having crushes on each other and assuming the other person didn’t reciprocate their feelings so they kept it to themselves sounds so accurate.

I’ve heard a bit about that headcanon before and tbh it sounds like a pretty interesting one, I’d like it if it was more explored in fics.

doing all those childhood bestie things like getting married in their gardens and making wedding rings out of paper etc etc

lmaoo I used to always do this with my irl bestie (we’re still inseparable to this day) 😭 we were (are) also major Swifties so when Taylor released Paper Rings 4 years ago we were like OMG REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO- *goes down memory lane.* Imagining baby!Peter and baby!James making them and having pretend-weddings in their gardens legit sounds like the purest thing ever 😭<333

and when they’re at Hogwarts and well into their teen years they both start thinking “yo wait……. maybe I actually liked him” but never say anything about it due to the fear of being rejected or realising the other person forgot about the weddings and paper rings. And when James got with Lily, that was when Peter accepted that he was genuinely in love with James and couldn’t handle the pain of seeing him with someone else, let alone “Evans.” He then started resenting the Potters and kept thinking to myself “what did I do wrong? why didn’t I tell Prongs when I had the chance?” And part of the reason why James agreed to switch to Peter as the Secretkeeper was because he remembered what it was like when they were kids and trusted him fully because of it. Then when the opportunity to betray the Potters to Voldemort came, Peter took it.

and peter doesn't realise that james still kept that tiny paper wedding ring

Y E S. and at one point James gave it to baby!Harry bc his fingers were almost the same size (either baby!Harry had chubby fingers or James and Peter had skinny fingers, we’ll never know), Lily noticed it and asked what it was. James told her it was “just something he put together,” Lily didn’t buy it because the paper weddimg ring looked a little worn out but decided not to say anything.

excuse me while I go sob into a pillow.

[daryldixonsjizzrag]

Random modern John Marston hcs and also things I think he'd like (might add more tmmr) some Javier x John stuff (fluff) is mentioned so just keep scrolling if u don't like that - He LOVES canned cheese. Like the American whipped cream bullshit. Javier would constantly be screaming at him wondering where there's 5+ cans of cheese in the fridge. - Septum piercings. Javier gave him one. He cried a little but refused to admit it. When it healed the kissed once and somehow got their piercings stuck and had to figure out how to get them unstuck. - DRUM KITS!!!! That mf would be so loud on them. He got multiple noise complaints from the neighbours but seriously didn't give a shit (he also watched hop as a kid and that's partially what got him his interest in drums and rock and stuff). - Alternative rock. The amount of times Javier hasn't been able to sleep because he could hear "I WATCHED A CHAAAAAAANGE IN YOUUUUUUU" Being screamed by John is just way too many to count. His fav band would definitely be Deftones. He usually entirely ignores the lyrics and only pays attention to them when he's blasting the music in public, realising how fucked they can be and changes the song to the cocomelon theme or smth idk. More under the cut

- Weed. It's self explanatory. - His childhood comfort character was probably Scooby-Doo. He also really liked Shaggy and as he got older grew a theory that Shaggy was hiding a bong somewhere in that van (It's so canon don't lie). - HE WAS A MYSPACE EMO EVERYONE!!!!! - Looked up porn on a school library laptop once because he was dared to. Deeply regretted it. But he didn't????? Idk I'm very sleep deprived. - He either wears amazingly tight skinny jeans like the shit all male teachers wear or the baggiest pants to ever exist in the history of clothing. No in between. - Javier took him to a emo/goth shop once. Probably ALT CVLT was the first goth shop John ever went to. He got some pants, one of those weird chain harness things and a rat skull. I'm absolutely losing it rn and I think at some point I just started writing shit ab myself but 😜 OH WELL /hj. Below are just some random thoughts I have about him from time to time he looks like a wet kitten. it's very cute. Even though his hair is greasy af. woah I just blinked and had this vision of John with like really skinny legs that was enlightening. I think about him alot. like alot alot. I cried whilst looking at pixel him earlier this morning. I was simply just riding to armadillo and started crying because he makes me IMPLODE with serotonin. I subconsciously changed my sleeping schedule to match his pls help. I could put all this in the tags but NO. My brain doesn't want that. I'm only getting 6 hours of sleep per night and I feel like I'm going to die.

[problematicraccoon]

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ about my characters pt. 1

this is going to be an ongoing series of just little character bios of my original characters for my wip, "The Witches of Opalworth". i'm not going to share too many details of the plot (for plagiarism reasons) but i'd love to tell you guys about my little characters !!

first up! introducing.. Sydney Lynn Webb-Shaw, my protagonist.

Sydney (or Syd) is 19, born on December 27th, making her a Capricorn. her pronouns are she/her. she was born in Missouri to her mother, Isla Webb-Shaw, and father, Colin Shaw-Webb. she's bisexual with a gigantic female lean (aren't we all). she's also on the autism spectrum, along with her mother, little sister and aunt.

she's 5'10. pretty lanky and skinny. literally the worst posture you've ever seen in your life. pale skin (mf has never seen the sun before and it SHOWS). hair cut boyishly short and dyed a retina-burning green (which earned her the nickname "lettuce head" from her family). a strong, hooked nose. dark brown, nearly black eyes that don't seem to reflect light, only absorb it. possibly millions of little freckles that cover her face, neck, shoulders and arms. sharp canines that make her look almost vampirish. a charming, crooked smile. usually seen in knee-length jorts, scuffed up sneakers, big tshirts or sweaters/sweater vests, funky earrings and a shit ton of clay rings made by her eccentric aunt Joesephine. basically the Adam Sandler look but gayer.

personality-wise, Sydney is an ambivert. she's got a razor sharp wit and is insanely sarcastic. she tends to be intense and obsessive, maybe to an off-putting extent to those that don't know, love and understand her. she's always been deeply passionate about being an activist and speaking up for others and herself. already, she's been to many rallies and protests for witches rights along with her grandmother, Lorelei. her mother claims she got her strong sense of justice from Lorelei, and no one else in their little clan refutes that. she loves her entire family very very dearly, though she's always been a little more connected to her grandma, as Syd seems to have been a copy/pasted version of Lor. both women are intensely passionate, fiercely protective of those they love, loud and unafraid to make some serious noise about the things they feel need to be changed, and have pretty much the exact same sense of humor. as her grandmother (who's well over 100 years old) was a suffragette back in the early 20th century, Sydney grew up listening to her tell stories of her adventures and the battles she'd fought in her lifetime. all of the change that Lorelei helped create inspired her to make a difference too; to help those that need it, and rage against the broken system that binds them.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ some songs i think Sydney would like...

Paul Blart Mall Cop - Girlhouse

Angry Too - Lola Blanc

Stuck - Daywave

18+ - Scene Queen

Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance (cause i KNOW this girl had a pretentious emo phase at least once in her lifetime)

I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At The Disco

Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol

Anxiety - Lilyisthatyou

that's all i can tell you about her right now, as i myself am only just beginning to get to know her. she, like the rest of the cast and the manuscript itself are still in their pre-alpha-hello-neighbor phases (the girls that get it, get it and the girls that don't, don't) so as the story and characters grow and change i'll update the characters profiles !!

thank you for reading <3 stay safe, and my dms are always open!

you can also reach me on...

Discord: gayanarchist222

AO3: soobzgyu

Pinterest: problematicraccoon

[bthebeachboi]

since i should be doing actual work, have some content <333 (also bc of twink florida stuff, i will now talk about some states that i can think of n their "bodybuild") LONG POST TBH, DONT WORRY ABOUT IT, IT JUST GETS LONGER AS USUAL.

Also "possible" mentions of E(ating)D(isorder) since Louisiana is mentioned to have a rather unhealthy "eating" habit from youth.

California is tall (6'4 around?) and skinny, with nice muscles. He isn't built, but he has the typical skinny surfer dude that throws u a peace sign aesthetic on point. (B's first body, real body, was better with strength. He thinks they "are" around the same height though, yet he misses the power to throw a man with ease.)

New York is rather short, not the shortest, but he's likely quite close to the middle if not in the middle. (5'9/5'7 idk, i think they r "mid heights"??) and man is built! Since he prefers physical fights and he builds mass as easily as he burns calories, he just learnt how to be ideally in the middle. He is one of the strongest states physically and he likes to pick on Texas because of it.

Texas is tall, slightly taller than California (6'5? 6'6?) and as much as he is build (ill give u a strong southern man, here), he has problems with maintaining a good balance between his love for good food and his diet. He usually ends up having a "hyperfixation" on one and then changing to the other. He also finds building more than basic muscle rather tiring.

Oklahoma, who is way shorter than Texas, not that much taller than NY (going here from their "size" even if I usually give the height depending on what I feel like, I'd say he's 5'10). He is way more used to fighting (sooner thing makes it hard to not fight from a young age for what you want, especially when you are as impulsive as him) but he is in pure strength worse than Texas and NY. Since he's rather hairy it's hard to say anything about his build, because he doesn't like tight material always touching his body n said hair, so he wears worn out old hoodies n that hides his body. (He is a strong southern with a strong mf accent, but for some older people he just looks like a punk bc of his hoodies being full of holes((lazy cunt wont go n buy himself more bc he gets whiny in shops)))

Florida is good height (6'1) and has a good build, he is very close to Cal, but slightly stronger. He has it naturally easy and he got them good metabolism genes so he doesn't worry about shit like diet or anything. He loves to show off his strength n he loves to wear a shirt with no sleeves so it shows his nice arms. (Loui hates meetings when the weather is nice n warm bc he cannot not look at his bestie, man's fine, anyone could say so, it's not his fault((lies)))

Louisiana is tall n skinny, he is close in his build to Colorado, who is also quite tall n skinny, but the "younger"(idk if Cole is younger aight?) can and usually puts on some fat on winter or if it's the depressive time (he like de snacc), yet Loui cannot put any fat on since he remembers. He ofc isn't weak, but he is embarrassed bc he could not beat Cal in arm wrestle (they both agreed to not talk about it since California wasn't up to fighting anyone else and Louisiana wouldn't handle the laughs, cuz it is Cal). He sometimes hates that only in winter, when he doesn't do much, he can put enough weight on to not show his hip bones that easily (since he is built like a mf dorito((CDC actually knows that bc of Louisiana's drinking habit since forever, somehow his body just won't take the fat and when he was younger n still getting used to having a body at all, he threw up a lot n that's why he was so skinny that you'd count his ribs easily.)))

New Jersey, like most of NE states, is rather mid height and built nicely enough for you to notice his muscles. He likes to wear hoodies that are tight on his arms, but wide in the waist. Sadly, since mf NY is natural at building his strength, he is a lil behind him. (He doesn't care about Texas n never checked his strength with him, but he would probably win a fight just because as bitchy Texas can get, he doesn't know that much about a normal fistfight. OK never checked his strength with him bc most states don't even know he has said strength)

Alaska, tall boi with a nice built - is around 6'7 and knows enough about having a fight to win some, so what stops him in "power tower" from being the worse to fight? He's rather clumsy with "human vs human" fights. Of course there are crimes where he lives (where he is) and he likes hunting a lot, but humans are rather different than a bear or just fish. Sometimes their fear or anger(Texas) is enough to stop them from fighting him, but of course most of NE doesn't know how to fight without feelings. They come and attack, smartly and well, and he suddendly is the clumsiest mf ever, like he's the main fem love interest in a romance. He is rather happy that NY never recorded any of their rare fights, because he still tries to pick up his ego after that one time in winter in the back of a pub. His ass and pride were hurt that day, no matter how much he tries to act cool about it. (NY knows that Al doesn't get why he is such an easy targer for them when he got attacked by bears bigger than him and NJ togheter. Anwser being that he never actually even thinks about getting his ass handed to him, somehow because he learnt that the only actual danger might be a wild moose. It's just that confusion that hits him at the start that makes him dumb enough to slip and fall all the time. Also because NY might be stronger physically, but he won't mention that)

MA, our last one bc am tired n lazy, is actually a little taller than NJ and shorter than NY, but it's so idealy in-between that no-one but them notices that. He is nicely built, strong and still. He is way more "a stone wall" type than "buff dorito" type, and trust me if you are shorter than him, you will probably think that someone just made a new wall in the middle of the room. Gov - even though he is taller - has a bad habit of bumping into him, just to bounce back like a ball and loose everything that he held in his hands. He lost for now two mugs, few important documents and almost a hand (thanks to Florida playing with swords and Louisiana not noticing any of it). One of many pluses of his body is how warm can he be, but in summer most of the others will absolutly get away from him.

[dielitttt]

Astro observations pt. 4 🕷

Am I the only Capricorn mercury who loses breath while reading or talking fast or in like a fast pace?? Like when I used to do music class in elementary and middle school I used to be put to sing but I would go out of breath rlly quickly and that’s y I hated it.

Why do Sagittarius placements or fire sign placements always forget things quickly somehow? (Including me😕)

People with strong Leo placements usually have issues w their eyes a lot of times

Some people with major pisces,cancer, air sign and Aries placements tend to have adhd sometimes (don’t self diagnose yourself w this pls)

Cancers with Gemini and pisces in personal planets tend to gaslight, manipulate, and bring up things that bother ppl

I’ve dated someone that’s a cancer with a mix of air signs in their chart, and they’ve dated someone else while hitting me up saying “I wanna break up with her but I don’t wanna hurt her feelings” because he wanted to date me again??? Makes no sense at all

Idk but Earth suns, earth moon and a mix of Sagittarius placements ppl are very private and barely date anyone even if they like them, if they let u date them your probably very lucky!

Sagittarius sometimes have issues with their stomachs, for example I know many Sagittarius risings with fast metabolisms and tend to be insecure about being skinny sometimes.

People with Uranus stelliums are always labeled as “weird” or “odd” from their own family members sometimes 😕

Aquarius chirons and Liliths need hugs like actually the way they’ve been treated by their own peers or family is sad

Aries rising are always seem to be very masculine and sometimes labeled as a homosexual because of their masculinity sometimes unless they have strong feminine placements tho

I barely have any water placements and I hide my emotions easily and can numb my emotions rlly randomly. But when I’m mad that shit shows so easily in my facial expressions.

It’s so weird how astrology is so accurate..

Mercury-Saturn or Pluto-saturn aspects tend to have a rlly controlling family towards their career sometimes especially their mother

Leo moons either hate or love eating a lot of sweets

Pisces in neverland people tend to sleep to escape from their real life problems they don’t wanna deal with or just sleep as an escape to things in general

If u look more identical to your parents and have a lot of their facial features sometimes u can have their rising sign

Water moon people HATE changing their music taste sometimes

Sagittarius’s and Aquarius’s tend to love different music taste and have a very random music taste with a bunch of genres in it especially leos too

Sagittarius’s suns with water moons and Sagittarius rising probably get their music taste from TikTok or would lie abt their music taste for someone they like ☠️☠️ (don’t take tjis to offense pls)

WHY ARE SCORPIO MOONS SO OBESSED WITY CATS BRO I SWEAR THEM MFS WILL LITERALLY FOLLOW EVERY CAT THEY SPOT DAWG😭😭

Scorpio Lilith people with Capricorn placements are so funny when they try to manipulate someone sometimes like I be watching them manipulate someoen so obviously and the person they manipulate be so clueless sometimes..

Gemini mars men are the type of people who fantasize having public sex ☠️

the way my mom has gemini Venus and my dad has gemini mars+ my bestfriend has gemini mars 2 is crazy bro 😭😭

The stereotype that Aries risings have big forheads is true and not and the same time

Aries placements probably have a fear of drowning because they’ve probably drowned once. Y’all Aries placements should be careful w water sometimes.

people be surprised that earth mercurys are funny bc they always have some dry ass humor sometimes I swear 😭😭

Ik this has nothing to do with astrology but why is migos always have the best verses on the songs he features in??

[blxetsi]

modern levi ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

levi ackerman x gn!reader

- firstly, lets get love language out of the way

- i think his love language would be acts of service

- so like, he'll brew your coffee for you and set out your favourite mug when he goes to the kitchen to make his tea (bc we all know he'd wake up earlier than you 🙄)

- or he'll pick up a muffin from your favourite bakery on his way home

- or if you ask him to remind you to do something later, he's immediately writing it out on a sticky note and sticking it somewhere youd notice

- he notices youre getting low on your favourite moisturizer ? or lipbalm ? he's taking a picture of the packaging and getting it the next time he drives past walmart or smth

- he just does little things that help make your day better

- now i feel like a lot of people say this already, but he is NOT very comfortable with public displays of affection

- its not that he doesnt like it when you touch him, or hold his hand, or kiss his cheek, he just gets flustered and feels like everyone is watching you two

- but one thing he does allow is looping your arms together while you walk, especially in crowded streets

- it doesnt mean he doesnt like being close with you, he just hates doing it public. when youre alone ? hes ALL OVER YOU.

- "will you play with my hair ?"

- "levi im working."

- "okay can you multitask ?" motherfucker 😐

- doesnt matter if hes the big spoon or little spoon, just being close to you is enough.

- also would try and get used to your love language

- if your love language is physical touch hes genuinely surprised by how many times you put his hands on him each day (NOT in a sexual way) like even his mother never touched him as much and he's a momma's boy 😳

- when you wake up your coming out to the kitchen to fill your coffee, but not before kissing the top of his head as you walk past

- then youre guzzling down your coffee like its water before putting it in the sink and walking back, petting his head in the process

- you'll hug him while hes cooking, or brushing his teeth. youre giving him kisses before he leaves and when he comes home, just little small acts of love, but it happens so frequently that levi cant help but notice it

- your love language is verbal affirmations ? youre getting your coffee while saying "goodmorning beautiful"

- "i love yous" are thrown at him a lot, they never fail to make him feel better

- youll compliment this man and he short circuits for a second, quickly gets used to it as time goes on

- also too i think he'd be taller in a modern au, but not very very tall like erwin, im talking 5'7" to 5'9"

- and he's fine with his height, it doesn't bother him that much, he's the average height of a man so what's the big deal ?

- also he really doesnt care about height either. youre shorter than him ? cool, that means he can bend down to give you little forehead kisses. around the same height as him ? awesome, that makes it easier for him to give you a peck on the lips. taller than him ? mf he'll climb you like a tree if he has to. really doesn't care.

- also doesn't have a preferences for body type or anything. he thinks that character is way more important than looks 100% and he'll always find different things about you beautiful. your laugh is weird ? k now he's making you two watch a john mulaney special to so youll laugh. hate your belly and wanna lose weight, he's holding you and telling you to only lose weight if you genuinely want to be "healthier" and not so you get skinny. your acne scars bother you ? he's kissing your cheeks a lot more than usual, but you can't complain. literally Loves Every Part of You

- also i think his family would absolutely ADORE YOU and his friends for that matter

- miss kuchel is pulling you into a hug the first time she sees you, and is so accomodating and sweet. shes genuinely interested in your interests and what you do for a living, and will NOT hesitate to get levi's baby pictures out if you ask.

- his uncle ? he probably wont be there for the family dinner, but then kuchel's gonna call him up like "levi's s/o ?? absolutely spectacular !!" and then hes like "huh maybe i gotta come visit to see the runt and his lover"

- also i think in a modern au, kuchel wouldve gotten really sick when levi is a boy, so kenny would have came home to take care of his sister and try and take care of levi. in the end she got better, and he went back to his own home, but now she requests that he come for at least one family holidy so they can all spend it together

- BUT back to mr. ackerman

- idk what he'd do in modern times, i used to think he'd be a good english professor for a university, but then i saw a headcanon that he'd go into law school and become a lawyer, and honestly ?? it makes sense

- after a long day at work he just wants to come home to you, he'll find you on the couch reading or doing some of your own work, so he'll just slip off his coat and blazer and undo his tie while slipping off his shoes by the door. before plopping his head in your lap and requesting you to play with his hair.

- if you don't live with him hes taking a shower and then immediately calling you asking to come over. if you can ?? great he'll be in bed waiting to be spooned. if not, thats fine, but levi would like to facetime and rant.

- also has the absolute WORST road rage

- "that little prick cut me off !"

- "levi he's taking his driver's test !"

- "so ? i hope that instructor doesn't give the idiot a pass 🙄" and then will immediately honk his horn at the poor kid.

- also wouldnt be a clean freak like in canonverse. his whole "everything has to be spotless" stuff stems from trauma, specifically being left in an apartment with his decaying mother for weeks on end, but since kuchel is alive that never happens

- were things a little hectic during the time she was sick ? sure ! but kenny always tried to tidy up a bit when he saw it was getting to levi.

- levi just likes things to be neat and tidy, he doesnt do a deep clean of his apartment every two weeks, but always makes sure to clean up his messes as soon as they happen

- also doesnt like to fight

- his mom raised him with the idea that communication is key, and always encouraged him to "explain why hes upset" so they could work together to come up with a solution

- its something hes taken with him to adulthood, and even though sometimes he sounds like hes talking to a child when hes trying to get you to "use your words" he really doesnt mean to

- if youre yelling at him he'll stand there like 😐 and wait until youre out of breath so he can say "okay lets talk about this"

- is also very handy

- have a hole in your wall ? hes coming over to fix it

- need a lightbulb changed ? hes got u dont worry

- you need to assemble a piece of furniture ? he glances at the step by step guide once before hes putting it together

- hes so great at that stuff, and you only have kenny to thank

- literally when kenny first came to stay with levi and kuchel when she was sick, the kitchen light went out and he asked levi to screw another lightbulb in, the poor kid stood there like 🤨 and when kenny said "what ? you don't know how to change a fucking lightbulb ?" levi shook his head and said "uncle kenny im seven 😐"

- kenny was APPALLED. and immediately made it his mission to make levi as handy as himself.

- also, dates with him are rlly lowkey.

- he likes being in your company, so staying home and ordering take out is AWESOME in his opinion. sometimes he'll dress up and make a fancy meal with you.

- if you like going to carnivals and stuff, he's reluctant but eventually caves. wins you a lot of the prizes.

- "fuck. this shit is rigged y/n"

- "sorry levi, lets go do something else !"

- "what ? no. give me another dollar im getting you that fucking turtle"

- hange always wants to see you. levi makes it his life mission to keep you away from them as much as possible. not because he doesnt want you to get along with his friends, just because he knows that hange will spill some embarassing secrets from his college days.

- erwin ? hes okay but hes on thin fucking ice.

- also is very gentlemanly. will not only hold the door for you but for everyone. hes waiting in line for his order and someone comes up behind him and asks him to scootch so they can get some napkins ? mf its grabbing a handful himself and handing it to the person, wishing them a nice day with a small smile. hes just like,, a genuinely good person

- his singing voice ? immaculate. will he sing for you ? no.

- he also loves playing board games with you. like chess or checkers. you love playing board games with him and his friends, specifically monopoly. hange makes moblit form an alliance with them. mike is a lone wolf, and erwin and levi are always helping each other out until erwin betrays him. lots of trust is ruined between these game nights, but you literally cant bring yourself to care because its so fun to watch it unfold

this is my first headcanon thingy !! im v excited !! hope u all enjoyed 🤩✨ should i do more headcanons like these ???

- all in all, levi is a cool guy, and a cool bf.

[slytherinsnekxvii]

okay, so, nobody asked, but i spend a lot of time thinking about severus' "gang" that sirius mentioned, the one with rosier and mulciber and avery, and here's how i think it probably could have happened:

first of all, rosier, mulciber and avery are likely rich, and these mfs are probably such purebred purebloods that they've got their fricking pedigrees stuck to their bedposts. they aren't gonna fuck with some scrawny, broke half-blood whose name they don't even recognise, especially when his one (1) singular friend is some muggleborn in gryffindor. so, yeah, they're definitely not touching that hot mess with a ten foot pole.

at least, not until lucius malfoy takes a shine to this practically feral kid, this skinny little chaos entity, who's apparently a wicked smart potions prodigy, and is getting into regular fights with james potter and sirius black. suddenly, the scrawny, broke half-blood whose mother was a prince, apparently, becomes very, very interesting. suddenly, these rich purebred purebloods are willing to make an exception.

they share a dorm, a common room and all of their classes, so they try to ensure there's overlap, and there is. not much, since snape is 110% focused on his little friend and spends as much time with her as possible, but just enough that they can trade homework answers and talk shit about the dada professor and not feel too uncomfortable in each other's space.

the girl drifts in and out of the picture in the coming years, and sometime during fourth year, rosier marks her down as a casualty of war while he secretly celebrates getting rid of her. she's been keeping her distance, especially since that one night where snape's bed was empty most of the night and he came back even more jumpy, twitchy and hypervigilant than ever, but wouldn't tell where he'd been. they keep an eye on him, after that, since there's only room for one exception, rosier says, mulciber backing him up, and that's him. snape looks up from his book, and wilkes is dismissing him before he's spoken. she's no different from any of the other little mudbloods, wilkes barks at him, with that look she has that accepts no arguments. snape goes to make his case, counts four glaring faces, hears lucius and narcissa in the back of his mind and cuts his losses. he goes back to his book.

the next year, when snape finds himself hanging upside down courtesy of his own spell at the end of james potter's wand, he calls her a mudblood and evans leaves for good. rosier leaves the classroom cursing mary macdonald's name for accusing him of cheating, and is in the corridor just in time to catch snape running up to gryffindor tower. mulciber and avery inform him that snape's gone to grovel at the feet of saint evans, wilkes lamenting that they'd taught him better than that, and that's when severus walks through the common and into the dorms, mechanical, and they know that that that's the end of that. none of them really understand why, but losing the girl seems to break something in severus. he seems to shut down right in front of them, not even bothering to elbow rosier out of his bed as he usually would when the other boy makes himself comfortable atop all of severus' research.

new spells remain unfinished, he refuses to brew, hardly eats, can barely sleep and the idleness all this causes makes him vacant and hyperaware all at once, not that he has the energy to do anything about it. rosier was glad to see the back of the evans girl, but something ugly in him twists seeing his friend like this. he asks wilkes what it means, and she tells him that severus is still a scrawny little no-name mudblood, but he's a scrawny little no-name mudblood who belongs to them, and that makes him theirs, and slytherins take care of their own. so, avery brings him food from the great hall, calls an elf when none of them can be bothered to go. mulciber drags him into the dusty old potions lab on the fourth floor every day, keeps him there until the gears in his brain start turning again and then drags him back to the dorms when curfew catches up to them. wilkes writes home and delivers dark arts tome after dark arts tome into severus's little research hub. evan volunteers as test subject and research partner for every spell, every potion severus could think of just then. they perfect liberacorpus first thing, and then sectumsempra and then vulnera sanentur when the bleeding won't stop. they do what they can before it's time to go home for the summer, and when they meet up again for lucius and narcissa's wedding, severus seems more person than ghost, looking only as haunted as he usually would after going home.

the next year and a half is spent making bad decisions and serving detentions. much research goes into what potion ingredients could be considered hallucinogenic, and time goes into turning them into forms that could result in a non-painful escape from the real world. somewhere along the line, severus starts smoking, rolling his own cigarettes. avery thinks about selling them. classes are optional, the whole lot of them only bothering to show up enough to make up the 75% attendance necessary to sit your NEWTs. potter and black jump him when they've got safe opportunities, and even when he's in the hospital wing with aches, pains and a detention waiting for him, it's still better than fifth year.

the newts are a breeze. potions, defence, arithmancy, ancient runes, charms, herbology, transfiguration. they graduate with flying colours, and to celebrate such an achievement, each of then receives a special invitation to malfoy manor, where a very important man, who promises protection and power and glory and a new world order will be in attendance.

and then, of course, so that it all fits neatly into canon, they all get their dark marks and move on with their lives. severus starts his mastery, likely funded by lucius and acquired by narcissa's connections. mulciber and avery shadow their fathers at the ministry while evan does as he pleases, enjoying the frivolities of life while giving his art the time and attention it deserves. wilkes probably gets into legal work of some kind. they do their thing and then shit goes down and evan and wilkes die, everyone else is arrested and severus goes to beg dumbledore to save lily's life and ends up turning into a spy and destroying himself all over again in the process.

but, yeah! that's my somewhat feasible explanation of how the little death eater gang ended up happening, and what serves as the foundation for a good few of my headcanons. honestly, i really just want an excuse to think about them being teenagers doing chaotic dumb teenager things without it being too out of left field/out of character (i say, as though we actually have a reliable amount of information about these characters).

[creepypocky]

Hellooo! Could I have a matchup pls? If you don’t have time you’re completely understood and you can just ignore this but if you do Thankyou very much!

Pls can I have romantic + NSFW if thats ok

My pronouns are they/them ^^

I’m into men manly dudes men like guys

My style is goth! I love all types of goth too. Black is my favourite colour. I love edgy shit, satanic shit… I love looking creepy. I really like victorian style dresses too

I’m not a creepy person though. People usually tell me that I’m cool (which I appreciate) but honestly I am very sensitive and just about cry over everything. I like to look scary because I just prefer people not approaching me or thinking I’m weak (damn I’m venting here now lol)

I’m also tall af?? Like 5’10? And hella boney skinny so I’m just a damn lanky stick next to others lol.

My hobbies are reading, writing (mostly deep poems and stuff..), drawing!! I love drawing. Especially for other people.

I like being in really quiet places and listening to birds! And my goal is to learn to beat my anxiety some day.

My favourite kind of person is someone who I can feel most comfortable around and won’t judge me or pressure me. I like specifically when I feel like I don’t have to talk and the silence isn’t awkward, which doesn’t happen much to me. And when they’re open-minded and respectful!! Love that.

My least favourite kind of person is narrow-minded people, loud people, childish. Immature people get on my nerves massively lol.

I like cats, being alone, and silence. I dislike crowded places and the dark

My zodiac is Aries

I’m MASSIVELY introverted. No doubt about it lol.

For the NSFW bit, I… definitely have a daddy kink (PFFF IM SORRY). I’m 100% switch, love being dominated, love dominating. LOVE praise, I’m a massive people pleaser so if I’m praised I just melt. But mostly I’m just into sappy romantic shit with lots of love and affection, and I would probably cry if my partner gave any other vibes. Also, pet names like darling, sweetheart, dear, love??? I’m dead. Dying. Deceased. I fall in love.

Things that turn me off… pain.. feeling uncomfortable or unloved, anything TOO rough. I am gemtle pls be somft

I loveddd reading through this, one person really popped up in my head reading this especially when you said you don't like immature people lmfao, thank you for requesting this and I'll work on it right away <3

|| I match you with: Masky! ||

Your style honestly turns him on tbh LMAO but he loves how you look beside him with your goth clothes and its kind of hard for him to keep his hands off you.

He doesn't find it annoying or weak that you're sensitive and if people ever call you weak around him they'll earn a hard punch because you're his and if they want to insult you they can go through him first.

If you ever cry about something or something makes you sensitive he won't judge you for it, (but tbh when he first met you he would make fun of you but he doesn't anymore) instead he'll just calm you down and tell you everything is okay.

If you're insecure about being too tall or being taller than him, Masky is like 6'1-6'3 so don't worry, but, he actually really loves how tall you are and thinks it's sexy. He thinks you being skinny along with it is cool too because he finds long but skinny legs beautiful. This man is kind of weird around people way shorter than him anyways because like... wouldn't that large height difference be awkward during yknow, lmfaooo.

You like writing? Sign this man up to be your main reader. No matter how many flaws are in your writing he'll be there being constructive for you and encouraging you to do more.

He loves your art too, everytime you make him a piece of art he just meltssss on the inside (probably wont admit it though lmfao) and keep them somewhere special because he wants to cling to as many things that involve you as he can. <3

When you want your alone time, he'll 100% respect you and leave you be for awhile so you can be alone to thoughts and listen to birds. But otherwise he would totally listen to the birds with his arm around you if you allowed him to because he just loves being close to you. :)

He really understands you wanting to overcome your anxiety, especially because he himself has anxiety due to his job, he constantly feels like he has to watch his back 24/7. This poor mans been backstabbed so many times pls comfort him. But he's super supportive of you and will help you get over your anxiety.

He would never judge or pressure you, especially since he knows very well how it feels to be pressured by people. It sucks. So he tries his best to always be there for you and only do things that you know you're comfortable with. He respects your boundaries as long as you respect his.

He also doesn't like childish and immature people, they're super annoying to him. When someone like that is bothering you he's always quick to make them fuck off so you can get back to having your sanity.

He loves silence too, you two will often just sit together in a blanket with a book and just read in silence and it's super wholesome. ^^

He will get you all the cats you want, regardless of Slenders permission.

If you get uncomfortable in the dark, don't worry, he'll make sure to always leave a light on around so that you don't feel unsafe. He's honestly such an overviewer and he's so protective of you.

NSFW:

This mf has a daddy kink too, and don't worry about him being too rough with you because even though I canon him as a dom he loves to be super soft and passionate with you. He doesn't want to hurt his doll to much.

He doesn't sub often, but if he's having a hard day, he loves to just lay back and let you take the lead on him. He loves to praise you and just caress your body as you're doing whatever you want to him.

He loves to kiss you while you two are fucking, he just loves the feeling of his moans being muffled by your mouth as he roams his hands all over you lovingly.

It's good that you love pet names because he's all about pet names, he loves to see the expressions on your face as he calls you all kinds of names.

<3

There you go. :))) I hope you enjoyed this matchup and I hope nothing was too inaccurate.

Have a great day/night and take care of yourself. ^^

[sposp0]

ahh i keep forgetting about this page!! failed today bc my family wanted to get fast food and i just.. idk fell into it. i don’t have an excuse. ate 1587cal which scares the shit out of me but hey, it’s still in a deficit so even though it’ll make me lose a LOT slower im still losing and that’s all that matters. i’ve learned that being super harsh on myself just doesn’t work after a while so im now trying the approach of being like a patient mom with a bratty child. i keep misbehaving and doing things i know damn well i shouldn’t but my patient mom self is just standing there gently correcting me and encouraging me to persevere. i think it’ll work honestly, the few times i’ve relapsed after “recovering” i’ve always given up by this point, but rn i still feel just as motivated. even though so far it’s been hit or miss, i know im losing, and honestly at this point im willing to wait longer. i think eventually i’ll be able to get ahold of myself and stay under 800cal a day and lose faster so im not worried. if i had adopted this strategy instead of hopelessly bingeing and hating myself for failing which only led to more binges i would be 115lbs by now, easy.

anyway i wanted to rant bc i can’t do it on my instagram where i normally would bc yk people do not know about my ed so im doing it here yay!!! i am just feeling so resentful and jealous tonight idk. i was just laying in bed thinking about my body, feeling it, hating it yk as per usual, and then i open tiktok and see this skinny mf who is like my body goals ed-wise and gender-wise just dancing around in a doorway and of course all the comments are just worshipping them, and it just made me so upset. im always upset about this. it’s like people can consider fat people beautiful only under certain strict conditions, and even then there’s still a TON of people saying they’re ugly. but skinny people? shit, you can look like anything and people will just effortlessly find you attractive if you’re skinny. it’s the default. it’s neutral. it’s just automatically attractive. and that’s such bullshit and it makes me so mad. why don’t I have that? GOD

and like the other day i thought something to myself that’s really been resonating w me & i keep thinking about it despite literally starving myself rn, & it’s “my body will look like what it’s meant to look like.” bc yes i lost a ton of weight while i was starving myself and then gained even more back once i stopped. i had gotten to the point where i was just eating whatever i wanted to without caring. it tasted good. i enjoyed it. so i ate it. and that was so fucking great, but it resulted in me gaining like 20lbs. and i kind of had this thought that like, hey, when i let myself be free and eat what i want, this body is the result. maybe this is what im meant to look like. i just wish i could fucking accept that, you know? and i wish it were the ideology everyone adopted. not skinny = attractive, not everyone should strive to be thin, but everyone’s body is unique and beautiful and everyone’s body looks like what it’s meant to look like. i mean, imagine being unlimited in your food choices and it’s just completely okay? whatever you want to eat and whatever body results from that is okay? not even necessarily super attractive, just okay. man.

i’ve also noticed im chubby enough now that my hip bones don’t poke into the mattress. this is a plus bc i can lay on my stomach, v comfortable, but also a minus because im anorexic and oh my fucking god it used to hurt to lay like this bc my hips were so sharp and now it doesn’t and i need to lose this weight right now. so i am conflicted.

anyway. things are going alright. wish me luck on my exams lol i am not feeling confident

[sunsets-cigarettes-switchblades]

Hi, I was wondering if i could get a ship. My name is Jessie, I have long wavy ash blonde hair and pale skin, I have a rare mutation called heterochromia iridum which is when a person has two different eye colors and mine are blue and brown I get called a freak because of it so I usually wear sunglasses over my eyes, I am five foot, skinny because I swim, I can be shy yet snarky. I love to read and listen to music. Thank you :)

Okay my baby, first of all, you are not a freak. You sound absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. Never be ashamed of something that makes you stand out. You are amazing. And I personally think that it’s super cool sounding. I hope it doesn’t give you any issues with your sight.

Anyway. I’m getting really off track.

I ship you with: Steve! (and oh lord, that’s hard ‘cause Steve is my man).

You guys met when you came into the DX. It was a pretty cloudy day, but you still were wearing sunglasses, which is what Steve noticed about you first. He was kinda curious why you’d be wearing them when it looked like it was about to pour at any second. A group of kids from your school came in, and started taunting you over it. Steve wasn’t having any of it, and Soda was there to back him up.

“Lay off...uh...whatever her name is!” Steve gestured to you as he yelled at the three boys.

“Wanna make me, grease?” honestly, that was all she wrote for that idiot. I mean, seriously. Who in their right mind pisses somebody off when they’ve got a monkey wrench in their hands? He chased them off, while Soda made sure you stayed back, and offered you a Pepsi.

“So, why are ya wearing those sunglasses anyway? It’s bouta pour.” Soda asked. This boy is so mf curious I swear. You just smiled and pulled your sunglasses down.

“I have heterochromia iridum. Means my eyes are two different colors.” You mumbled. By then, Steve was back, and it was sprinkling outside. 

“Huh. That’s pretty tuff.” He said, staring at your blue and brown eyes. You flushed a little, not used to getting praise over it. You stayed and drank your Pepsi, hoping the rain would slow. It didn’t.

“I never caught your name.” Soda exclaimed out of the blue. You damn near jumped a foot in the air.

“Oh, it’s y/n.” You didn’t ask for his, because you saw it on his shirt.

“Well, y/n, wanna ride home? It ain’t gonna let up for awhile.” Steve asked you as he washed his hands. You agreed, because you didn’t bring an umbrella, and walking home in the rain didn’t sound like any fun. You slipped your bookbag onto your shoulder and pushed your sunglasses back up. You followed him to a sorta beat-up looking car, but you didn’t mind.

“Hey, wouldja mind doin’ somethin’?” Steve asked you. You cocked an eyebrow.

“Take your sunglasses off. Your eyes are real pretty.” You flushed again, but pulled them off and put them in your bookbag. You looked over and saw him grin a little. When you pulled up at the address you’d given him, he stopped you before you could leave.

“Whaddaya say to a date? Maybe this weekend? There’s this car show...” He trailed off, looking a little shy. You frowned.

“Uh...I’d like to, but I have a swim meet. Maybe some other time?” You offered. He perked up a little, and asked where the meet was. You told him at the high school, and he swore up and down he’d be there.

Sure enough, he was there, screaming your name. When you won first place, he took you out for ice cream for your first “official” date.

You’re self-conscious about your eyes, but Steve loves ‘em. He thinks it makes you unique (and he’s totally right, doll). With a little help from him, you gradually stopped wearing sunglasses.

He’d beat up all the little shits who dared to make fun of you, then let you play nurse afterward.

He thought the height difference between the two of you was adorable. When you got mad at him, he loved to bend down a little and poke you in the nose.

Of course, that only made you madder. Until you burst out laughing.

He loved taking you swimming, because the water really was your element, and you seemed more at-ease. He liked to try to race you, even though he lost every time.

He also liked to hold you in his lap while you read, and read over your shoulder, or steal one of your earbuds and listen to whatever you’re listening to.

I hope that was good, lovely, and as always, please keep the requests coming

[xxscarletsaintxx]

No one will bother to read this so why not p: 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Yep
2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Yep 3. Have you taken someones virginity? Yyyyyyep
4. Is trust a big issue for you? YYyYyYyYyep
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Nah
6. What are you excited for? Being a day closer to death
7. What happened tonight? I went to Disneyland
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Nah, I'm usually really wasted right with them lol
9. Is confidence cute? Fuck yeah as long as it isn't vain or egotistical 
10. What is the last beverage you had? Haterade
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Maybe 1
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Never in my life will I EVER asphyxiate my dick
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Wallow in self-pity and go to the beach
14. What are you going to spend money on next? FOooOoOOoOD
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Idr my last kiss if imma be honest lmao
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Well we can pray right (atheist)
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Literally no one ever 
18. The last time you felt broken? I think the correct question is when I last felt that I wasn't broken?
19. Have you had sex today? I FUXKIJG WISH... been in a mood all damn day 
20. Are you starting to realize anything? I'm a selfish piece of shit
21. Are you in a good mood? Wtf is a good mood
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Hell mf yeah, lemme go skinny dipping covered in paper cuts rq 
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? No, his are blue mine are brown :((((
24. What do you want right this second? Sex sex sex, cuddles and weed
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Good 4 u, were they good?
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Yessir
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Don't underestimate my acting abilities, especially for a pretty face
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Genuinely? Probably my little sister...I'm not sure tbh
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Myself
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? No
31. Honestly, do you hate the last girl you were talking to? Is this a trick question? I hate everyone 
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
Nah, I wouldn't call them feelings to begin with honestly, that's a little glorifying 
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Ye lol
34. Listening to? My own cognitive processing of these questions 
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Occasionally 
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Nah
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? I don't believe in love period
38. Who did you last call? My pops
39. Who was the last person you danced with? A stranger
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? We were doing the sex
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Is this rly a question
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? Yes 
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Ohhhh yeuh 
44. Do you tan in the nude? I'm already golden boi
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Nope I'd make it last long so I could remember it bettter
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Nah
47. Who was the last person to call you? Dry af
48. Do you sing in the shower? If no ones home 
49. Do you dance in the car? Mf yes
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Mf yes
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Nevah
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? If you mean gay then yes 53. Is Christmas stressful? It's boring 
54. Ever eat a pierogi? A pigeon? Tf?
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Ur moms
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Bmx, Skater, Athlete, Musician
57. Do you believe in ghosts? Nah son
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yeah 
59. Take a vitamin daily? No 
60. Wear slippers? Just socks 
61. Wear a bath robe? Nah 
62. What do you wear to bed? Comfy clothes 
63. First concert? Russ or Halsey not sure which came first
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart 
65. Nike or Adidas? Just do it 
66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheat hoes
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts 
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? The one where she doesn't break up with somebody 
69. Ever take dance lessons? No 
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Sucking bomb dick (only mine tho)
71. Can you curl your tongue? Ye
72. Ever won a spelling bee? Ye
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? What's a happy?
74. What is your favorite book? The Dark Series (Dark Slayer maybe) 75. Do you study better with or without music? With it
76. Regularly burn incense? No 
77. Ever been in love? Lol
78. Who would you like to see in concert? Myself
79. What was the last concert you saw? Halsey or russ
80. Hot tea or cold tea? Hawt 81. Tea or coffee? T
82. Favorite type of cookie? Good kind 
83. Can you swim well? Eh 
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah
85. Are you patient? It greatly depends
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Band 
87. Ever won a contest? I win everything 
88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nah
89. Which are better black or green olives? Neither 
90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Fuck yeah or else I'm not marrying lmao, I gotta know I'm 100% satisfied with the person I'm gonna spend the rest of my mf life with
91. Best room for a fireplace? Every room 
92. Do you want to get married? Idk, maybe one day when I'm more than what I am now...

[tommyleeownsme]

Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well - Tagged by @bandaids-not-groupies <3

1. What is you middle name?

i don’t have one, but i wish i did

2. How old are you?

17 “i’m baby”

3. What is your birthday?

february 11

4. What is your zodiac sign?

aquarius

5. What is your favorite color?

orange :)

6. What's your lucky number?

11

7. Do you have any pets?

no they always die

8. Where are you from?

northern va

9. How tall are you?

5’7

10. What shoe size are you?

9 call me bigfoot

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

too many to count

12. What was your last dream about?

either i don’t remember my dreams or i don’t dream at all because i never know

13. What talents do you have?

i can kinda paint

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i’d like to think so because most of my dreams happen or either my life is just boring and predictable

15. Favorite song?

cowboy song by thin lizzy or all my love by led zeppelin i can’t choose

16. Favorite movie?

i don’t really have one but i really like horror movies

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

axl rose just someone who’s really passionate with an exciting personality but also someone i can just lay back and chill with at times

18. Do you want children?

yeah probably like 1 or 2 kids are pretty cool at times

19. Do you want a church wedding?

well i’m muslim so no lmfao

20. Are you religious?

uh i try to be but it’s kinda hard because my parents kinda force the religion on me so i guess i’m just finding myself

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

all the time my immune system is shit if we’re being completely honest

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

yeah i actually got caught stealing juice but i didn’t have to go to court so yeah

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

ive met joe biden’s wife if that even counts ??

24. Baths or showers?

baths

25. What color socks are you wearing?

a grey polka dot one and a black one

26. Have you ever been famous?

no but i should be

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yeah most times

28. What type of music do you like?

honestly probably everything but country

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

i have like 7 on my bed but i don’t actually use any so 0

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

on my stomach

32. How big is your house?

i live in an apartment because i live in a “big city” but it’s actually really big tbh

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

water?

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

nah

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in middle school

36. Favorite clean word?

literally

37. Favorite swear word?

well i’m black so the n word but i don’t wanna get anyone offended again so i’m not gonna type it out

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

like a day and a half

39. Do you have any scars?

yeah i’m a clumsy mf

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

yeah like 3 i guess but i kinda knew

41. Are you a good liar?

i could be but i don’t have reasons to lie about anything

42. Are you a good judge of character?

honestly not really

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

no i wish because i’d talk like i was from the uk all the time

44. Do you have a strong accent?

well when i go up north people say i sound really country but when i go down south i sound like a “city girl”

45. What is your favorite accent?

swiss

46. What is your personality type?

not gonna lie i can be pretty bitchy at times but i’m more quiet and introverted now

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

um i have a pair of valentino sunglasses that are like $700 but i stole them from my mom so idk if they’re actually mine

48. Can you curl your tongue?

no

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

if one crawls on me i’m crying but i don’t get bothered unless they’re like on my stuff or in my face

52. Favorite food?

idk i eat more candy then actual food

53. Favorite foreign food?

probably indian food i’ve never thought about it

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

i’m generally clean but my room gets really messy because of clothes and makeup being everywhere

55. Most used phrased?

“okay but like...”

56. Most used word?

okay

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

like a hour and a half for school

58. Do you have much of an ego?

honestly not really i don’t think i’m anything special i’m just here on earth

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

bite i’m too impatient

60. Do you talk to yourself?

duh i’m my own bff

61. Do you sing to yourself?

definitely

62. Are you a good singer?

absolutely not

63. Biggest Fear?

getting kidnapped or failure in life

64. Are you a gossip?

eh kinda

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen?

idk but a lot of foreign movies are really dramatic and i enjoy them

66. Do you like long or short hair?

long hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

nah

68. Favorite school subject?

science

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

i guess i’m a mix of both but more on the introvert side

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no but i want to, too bad i can’t swim

71. What makes you nervous?

walking past a huge group of guys, tests, life in general

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

yeah depends on the mistake

74. Are you ticklish?

yea

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

not that i know of

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

no thank God

77. Have you ever drank underage?

all the time

78. Have you ever done drugs?

yeah

79. Who was your first real crush?

i don’t even remember

80. How many piercings do you have?

3 in one ear and 2 in the other

81. Can you roll your Rs?"

no i wish

82. How fast can you type?

i type really fast on my computer but not as fast on my laptop

83. How fast can you run?

i don’t run

84. What color is your hair?

black

85. What color is your eyes?

brown

86. What are you allergic to?

bananas, almonds, kiwis, pineapple, mango

87. Do you keep a journal?

nah

88. What do your parents do?

my dads in the army and my mother does hair

89. Do you like your age?

no i wish i was an adult tbh

90. What makes you angry?

honestly a lot of things set me off but i guess that’s just me

91. Do you like your own name?

not really

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

nah

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i want a boy and a girl

94. What are you strengths?

i mind my own business and don’t judge people

95. What are your weaknesses?

temper, mental health, and isolating myself

96. How did you get your name?

my dads moms name

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

nope

98. Do you have any scars?

yeah a lot

99. Color of your bedspread?

hot pink

100. Color of your room?

my walls are white but my furniture is like dark brown

this was so unnecessarily long but i tag:

@anna-nichole-lee @malibubarbievince and @them-crazy-beastie-boys

[shrubforhire]

Asks 1-99

i rly thought i was in the clear,,,

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? inevitable by orla gartland nine in the afternoon by panic! fake happy by paramore epic III from hadestown say my name from beetlejuice haunted house by sir babygirl

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? hayley williams

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Tally ran toward the garden.

4: What do you think about most? going back to school

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? Good! Morning!

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? clothes on,,, my family dont b respectin boundaries how yall live like that

7: What’s your strangest talent? i can make my eyes shake

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) girls... are so pretty and wonderful and they could do whatever they want to me. boys.... can be p cool sometimes

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? yes!!!! my girlfriend wrote me a sonnet eeeeee

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? i......cant remember

11: Do you have any strange phobias? nah

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? probably

13: What’s your religion? jew by blood

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? going somewhere else

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind, i always look weird on camera

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? paramore

17: What was the last lie you told? i told my mom her fitbit isnt a worse model

18: Do you believe in karma? yea

19: What does your URL mean? i made it when i was finally mostly sure i was a lesbian but it kinda leaves some ambiguity. and now its just kinda like hey maybe lets not

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? im super insecure; im persistent

21: Who is your celebrity crush? stephanie scott

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? no

23: How do you vent your anger? pacing & long walks, doing something else

24: Do you have a collection of anything? i have hella pokemon dolls i used to collect

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like talking on the phone cause then im not thinking abt my appearance the whole time

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? almost

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? knife on a plate; hot metal going into liquid

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if they dont like me

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yea, and no

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. a pillow. my own leg

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? nothing lol, its just air

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? texas

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? east coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? uhhhhhh,,,,, i guess like a younger billie joe armstrong

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? to be happy!

36: Define Art. something that makes you feel stuff!

37: Do you believe in luck? yea

38: What’s the weather like right now? sunny, but not deadly hot yet

39: What time is it? 10:43

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? yes, no i have not yet knock on wood babeyyy

41: What was the last book you read? boleslavsky lmao

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? YES

43: Do you have any nicknames? lil c, mini straub

44: What was the last film you saw? arthur

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? i tripped and my cheek got stabbed with the corner of a coffee table and i had to get stitches

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? no

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? musescore

48: What’s your sexual orientation? less bien

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? not rly lol, no ones rly cared enough to do tht

50: Do you believe in magic? a lil

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? yes, but after 4 years i give them a second chance

52: What is your astrological sign? taurusss

53: Do you save money or spend it? save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? a subway sandwich

55: Love or lust? love

56: In a relationship? y e s hehehhhe

57: How many relationships have you had? techincally, 3. but the first 2 lasted for like 2 weeks so they really dont count. p much just this 1

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no :(

59: Where were you yesterday? at work lol

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? a spray bottle

61: Are you wearing socks right now? no ;)

62: What’s your favourite animal? giraffe

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? god i wish i had one,,, usually just tryna not b annoying lol

64: Where is your best friend? at rehearsal

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. positivewlwvibes lesbian-bottom-memes meaningfulsuggestion okay-pie atomicanderson haha bitchessssss

66: What is your heritage? white people soup

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? watching danny gonzalez 

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? hellman

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? no, i only clock out when I've worked my 9 hours. but noice q 69

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? yea,, i send memes and im a crackhead

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? this job is seasonal bitch,,,, save that mf pupper

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? i would tell my pals, i would spend all of my money doing dumb shit, and id be scared as fuck bitch!!

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. this is a weird fucking q. i guess trust bc its a form of love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? girls like girls

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 6071

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? communication, checking in w the other person, making sure everything is all good

77: How can I win your heart? playing a song,,,,, bonus points if u wrote it ohymogd

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes absolutely

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? moving away from home for college

80: What size shoes do you wear? 6 1/2

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? pepparoni and chaese

82: What is your favourite word? effervescent 

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. tubes

84: What is a saying you say a lot? we cant all be winners

85: What’s the last song you listened to? i got you by karmin

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? lavender and p much any pastels

87: What is your current desktop picture? the gravity falls floating stan balloon that says i eat kids

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? i’d say trump, but then we’d have pence and it would be worse. 

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? idk,, theres so much embarrassing shit you could ask me i rly cant narrow it down

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? say whats up bro

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? telekinesis

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? going to the beach w pals and riding bikes and looking at the ocean :’)

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? my dads existence rofl

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? hayley. mf. williams

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? maryland

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? not anymore!

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? nope

98: Ever been on a plane? yup

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? raid the ice concentration camps