#it’s just a matter of how he percieves himself and you see that shift

[dimplepinchneat]

laying in bed with my dumb cat thinking about how walter white’s man vs self conflict is easily the most fascinating part of breaking bad to me because he’s the only character i know of in any media besides MAYBE naked snake that is not only the hero AND the villain but also the antihero as well. Like his arc sees him filling all three of these roles and it’s amazing writing not to mention bryan cranston absolutely kills it like no one else. no one is doing ego death quite like walter white… as hard as i may try i will never do him justice and i have accepted this

[stellocchia]

So, I’ve been thinking: where do the characters of the smp actually fit in the morality spectrum?

We’re all always pointing out how everyone is “morally gray” in the smp, but it’s not too hard to see that the level is different in different characters, for example: Puffy’s light griefing when she first arrived on the smp is in no way comparable to Dream blowing up a country 3 times... so how about we take an objective look through this characters actions?

First let’s establish what are the categories we’ll be talking about:

Morally gray characters: they are the intermediate between a villain and a hero. They are neither wholly bad nor good. 

Anti-Hero: someone who may perform moral actions but always for selfish reasons. Basically morally gray but with bad intentions.

Anti-villain: someone whose desired ends are mostly good, but their means of getting there range from evil to undesirable. Basically they think they have good intentions, but they’re actually villains. 

Sympathetic villain: an immoral character who’s backstory/character arc makes them sympathetic to the viewers. We can’t agree with their actions, but we can understand how they got there.

This is more or less the spectrum we will be moving in, as it would actually be rather hard to define anyone in the smp as a classic black and white hero or villain (with 1 exception). Also I believe we all kind of understand what the definitions for those terms are.

In this I will be only going over the characters I know the most about as there are way too many people and, I’m afraid, it’s impossible for me to cover everyone properly as I would need to watch their povs. Anyone though feel free to add on to this! 

Also I won’t be going in any precise order because that would take more effort then I’m willing to put in, so here we go: 

Tommyinnit: He is a bit of a trouble-maker. He has been involved in the most conflicts out of everyone in the server (although he didn’t start the big majority of them). He has griefed, stolen and caused a whopping total of 3 canon deaths (1 to Jack Manifold and 2 to Dream). He has however sacrified himself multiple times for his friends (both literally and by giving up his possessions) and he apologized and tried to make amends for his worse actions. He is mischevious but he also often proved that he can be very selfless. No doubt he earns a morally gray stamp.

Willbur: He is a difficult one because of the big split between his character pre and post election. That said, while Willbur was rather power-hungry before the election he also was very caring for those under him (sometimes slipping into being downright demeaning towards Fundy). He upheald his principle of “words over violence” and mostly wanted to build a peaceful nation. After the election however (because of his declining mental health) he did turn to violence and manipulation and ended up blowing up his own country. So I’d say he went from a morally gray character to a very sympathetic villain

Ghostbur: This one is being considered separatedly from Willbur, as it has been said multiple times that they are separate entities. Ghostbur, you would think, has never done anything bad in his life, he has however hurt some people. He refused to have an actual talk with Fundy or with anyone really when it comes to what Alivebur did, hurting them as a consequence and while they are separate entities, they’re still very much connected. His intentions in general though are good, he just wants everyone to be happy, he just doesn’t realize his incapacity to fully understand other people’s struggles can hurt them at times. He has however never intentionally caused harm to anyone and tried to help whenever he did so unintentionally. He lacks the qualities that would make him a “hero” but he’s morally good 

Tubbo: While people in this fandom have a tendency to portray him as a poor innocent bean he’s not entirely squeacky clean himself. He steals regularly, he has partook in Techno’s scuffed execution attempt and organized a festival with the clear intention of killing Dream. He has however, more often then not, done what he thought was right and what he felt he needed to do in order to protect his people. Even now he’s built a safe heaven away from everyone because he wanted a safe place for anyone wh needed it. So there you go, morally gray stamp of approval.

Techno: And here I already know there will be some contentione... oh boy... anyway! Techno undoubtedly thinks he’s always doing the right thing. He thinks that destroying the governament was the only way to get rid of corruption. He thinks he’s doing something good. He has however released weapons of mass destruction (aka withers) in L’Manburg 3 time, caused the most canon deaths in the server (yep, more then Dream) and he’s been manipulative (wether intentionally or not doesn’t really matter here). In general he’s caused so much pain to so many people that it cannot go ignored. For this reasons he gets an anti-villain stamp

Phil: He’s also one of the characters deserving of a split, in his case it’s pre and post Techno’s attempted execution. Pre execution he was a mostly uninvolved member of L’Manburg, he did however help greatly with the rebuilding and tried to give a family to Fundy when he realised he needed one. He did also kill Willbur. ater the execution however he joined Techno in committing atrocities for what he percieved to be something good (”teaching how bad governament is” was his perceived goal). So I’d say he went from morally gray to joining Techno in the anti-villain gang

Quackity: He is a very complex character and I’m sure opinions about him are rather split. He joined the election to insure it’s fairness. He stayed by Shlatt’s side to try and make the governament fair until he realised that he would never be litened to and then he joined Pogtopia to take down a tyrant. He tried to protect L’Manburg in every way he could, but did get carried away with the attemted execution and the festival, even arriving to suggesting executing Ranboo. Now he wants to build capitalism and is trying to fight the Egg in his own way. He is the definition of a morally gray character

Ranboo: Another split opinion incoming here! Ranboo does mostly have good intentions (at least in his non-enderwalk state, which we won’t talk about here, because there still isn’t enough lore about it to understand it). He would like to have a united server with no conflicts. In trying to achieve this however, as he noticed himself, he actually went against every single one of the people he cares about: not sticking up for Tommy at the trial, assisting with Phil’s arrest and Techno’s execution, giving back Techno’s weapons and armour with no fight and, in general, giving him resources, helping to plan the Green Festival and so on so forth. That said all this things are “bad” from one side but “good” from the other. He has also kept company to Tommy in exile more then anyone else and he was there in the final fight against Dream. In conclusion he gets a morally gray stamp as well

Punz: Punz fights for money and his own self interest. He showed before that his alliance was with those who paid him, even though he actually seemed to care and consider Dream his friend until a certain point. He fought in a few wars but was never overly involved in the petty conflicts. He did however end up being the reason Dream was defeated (athough that was also for money). This was also before the Egg’s corruption as we won’t be considering that as part of the character since, you know, the Egg literally mind-controls people... anyway he gets to be in the anti-hero club

Sam: The warden of the prison is someone with a great work ethic (though he doesn’t seem to care much were the money are coming from once a project gets commissioned to him) and a very kind individual, always ready to offer pumpkin pie or his help to anyone who seems to need it. He’s also building a bank with the express purpouse of building an economy to take control over the server... he is morally gray as well is what I’m trying to say here

And, our final one:

Dream: This man also actually needs a split to better understand him, and that split is before and after he received the necromancy book from Shlatt. Before that he started a few conflicts (Declaring war on L’manburg and the whole railway skirmish thing) nut in general he had mostly sound objectives. Toward the start he didn’t want trouble in his server and he went to extreme leghts to ensure there wouldn’t be any (stealing Tommy’s disks, the whole declaring war etc). He did try and help Pogtopia at the start for this very same reson, because he was hoping that the two indipendent factions would cancel out each other. At one point however the objective in his actions seems to have shifted between wanting to obtain unity for the server to wanting to obtain control for himself. It’s after this shift happened that he committed his most heinous crimes (blowing up L’manburg other 2 times and all the manipulation that went on). After the shift there is not a single redeeming thing he did. He went from an almost anti-villain to a straight up villain, he is, in fact, the only one aside from the Egg that I’m willing to deine as a true villain.

[faakeid]

fab nygmobblepot moments that remind you of kd uwu

OMGGGG AHDAHDUIADHAD

I want to use this moment to be sorry to everyone that follows me but keeps seeing my blog full of Nygmobs/Smaylor instead of kaisoo. I usually don’t get attached to otps like this and it happened in an unexpected way for me. But it’s here and I need to compensate for all the years I didn’t watch Gotham and had no idea about Nygmobs spamming everyone and making my heart warm.

But in general, nygmobblepot isn’t a vision of ideal relationship. Both Edward and Oswald (their surnames Cobblepot and Nygma were the ones who originated this name) are stupid and do stupid shit to each other during most of the series. So, a lot of moments related with the actors counterpart (Robin is the actor who plays Oswald and Cory who plays Ed) reminds me of kaisoo more. But a warning here! Although they have a HUGE chemistry on and off screen, they’re mostly friends. Robin is married for almost ten years so it doesn’t mean their closeness is romantic or sexual. But still, some details remind me of kd.

Similarities with nygmobs:

Height difference: it applies to Smaylor as well because it’s their height but it’s really visible in the series. Cory is a bit taller than JI I think and Robin is like 1.65 but KS is not that taller (I can’t believe he’s 1.73 at all, sorry). But, again, this factor is evident during the series and in some moments and it’s cute.

(the way he moves his feet to reach Ed’s head ;_;)

(when they hug, Oswald barely reaches his shoulders [their hugs are the equivalent to kisses in Gotham])

the closest gif I could find where we can see kd’s height difference without me stealing other people’s gifs.

Penguin reference? That’s pretty obvious. Of course I didn’t start shipping nygmobs because one of them is small and has the Penguin nickname but it made so much easier for me to read some of their fics with kd as characters because they fit the profile so much! And also, I believe KD would totally fit the “murder husbands” couple if someone did a fanfic where they just kill everyone. The closest I remember of a fanfic with this criteria is Juice Pouche where Kyungsoo is a vampire and he protects Jongin and Jongin is kind of badass as well. But the kd fandom needs more fics like this. There’s also “(Before the night is over) come see me” where KS is also a vampire and JI a young werewolf but it focuses more on their relationship than a murder husbands idea Gotham shows so well. 

How they met: Gotham’s history has a lot of differences if you compare with other universes, so keep that in mind. In Gotham, Ed works with GCPD but doesn’t feel like himself with the good side. Oswald is the character that spices things up and is a rage of death and destruction and manipulation. But Oswald is infatuated with Jim Gordon (so isn’t the first time it’s implied Penguin is gay) but he goes to the police department to see him. Ed sees him and wants to talk to him no matter the cost. And he does that... And things don’t end that friendly for him because Oswald thinks he’s a weirdo and asks him to fuck off, basically. It reminded me of kd’s first meeting where KS was the one admiring JI all along but JI get frightned. But, during their second meeting, they bond and become friends. For Nygmobs it takes more time for their second meeting but they end up developing and being in good terms :’)

Their personas, sort of: Ed is the tall one, younger and logic. Oswald is the oldest, smaller and that thinks with his heart. I love how JI could show the more logic side of himself during the last few years and, again, while reading Nygmobs fics using kd names, it was easy to fit the profile for me (that was during the time I wasn’t too deep into nygmobs and I didn’t knok them that well. KS looks cold and deatached and that’s why many people got impressed when he said, during Knowing Bros that he would choose love over friendship. He doesn’t play the part but, considering all the context, it fits him pretty well and reading this description of Oswald made me so familiar because it fits KD well. Ofc I don’t know their private lives and whatever but it’s just the impression I had as a viewer and random person;

Drama issue: when I say drama here, it’s related with how people percieve the two OTPs and how different people visualize LGBT relationship in media. Nygmobblepot had a lot of drama involved because they’re the fucking Riddler and Penguin, two of the most famous Batman villains. People saw them in different sorts of media before and others idolize those characters because of videogames and comics. So, when Oswald mentioned expressedly that he was in love with Edward, it caused an uproar in the fandom. People accused the producers and Robin of messing with the comic canon because the fucking Penguin became gay??? Robin was outspoken about the homophobia behind those statements since he’s a gay man himself but yeah, the drama existed. Part of the people invovled with the series rooted for Nygmobblepot, including some writers and the actors (Cory was the one with ambiguous messages about the nature of their relationship but it’s not even close what happened with other series like Supergirl, Supernatural and Sherlock). But it was aired by FOX, a right wing channel and, as you may imagine, they didn’t become canon per se. Actually, after Oswald said he was in love with Ed and planned on confessing to him, the writers presented a clone of Ed’s ex girlfriend with no explanation and purpose, only to separate them for most part of the series future. After that, some people seemed to have FORGOTTEN Oswald was once in love with Edward, rationalizing many things that are hard to explain with a “bro explanation”, they had a scene where the characters would have evolved even more but it was CUTTED and CHANGED and execs added the sentence “we’re brothers” to make EXPLICIT that Nygmobblepot’s relationship wouldn’t be interpreted as a romance at the end of the series (but, honestly, the actors went for the romance path anyway, the deleted scenes and the final episode can’t convince me otherwise).

What’s related with KD, may you ask? I think you’re familiar with all the drama KD faced since 2016 and how many stuff exploded during that time. How many parts are involved into creating a certain image and shifting it to be appealing and “friendly” is similar with what happens with idols. It’s no secret now about many scandals of bullying and other issues that are considered problematic and how they need to be pushed under the rug for companies so idols can make money and be profitable. Especially for male idols, it’s important that they are viewed as desirable and an object of the fans affections. That’s why he needs to be handsome and kind and look like a person that doesn’t exist. If an idol is openly gay, this person isn’t viewed by the major public with the same interest because they can’t fit the fantasy. That’s why scandals involving idols being gay need to be forgotten and deleted from people’s minds, otherwise that celebrity is ostracized. Although we tend to see the Ocident as “progressive”, there’s similar things happening in that industry. If a celebrity is openly LGBT, they don’t receive certain roles or opportunities because of it. There’s still a huge stigma that needs to be broken and we, as a society, are so far way from it. But recognizing those differences exist it’s a step forward.

Similarities with Smaylor

For me, one of the reasons Nygmobblepot works so well is because of the actors. They portrait a good chemistry because of their friendship off screen and some non verbal signs they display around each other are amazing. Those are things that remind me more of KD as we see them in a lot of moments. So, I wanted space to show those comparisons below:

Mutual admiration: it’s something both Smaylor and KD display a LOT and is extrememly outspoken. I really love watching their old interviews because the affection and admiration is so genuine it makes me drawn to them despite not being romantically involved.

(full gifset)

(there are more moments than these but I don’t want to steal gifs and there’s not much on the gif research and that sucks. Same with KD’s).

Stares and touches: Robin was the responsible for the deep stares and Cory for the random touches. There’s so many gifs of it that is hilarious. It’s like JI divided himself in two cells because we know he’s more known for both >.<

(Cory was touching Robin all the way during this interview rip)

(the gifset!!!)

You’re pretty moment: Robin, like KS, is the one that mentions about Cory/JI’s physical attributes. They have a moment pretty similar and, for KD its famous among shippers:

(gif link)

(actually, Robin called Cory dashingly handsome but its okay)

Cory lost it

There’s another series of gifsets with Robin calling Cory handsome LMAOO

:))))

Synchronization: for specialists in body language, it’s a factor that shows two people are close. That’s because of the mirror neurons we have that makes us copy movements, actions or words that someone we have empathy/we are close with do or say. Both kd and smaylor do this and it’s really soft.

(one of the classics)

(classic 2)

whole gifset (i love this interview so much)

(gif)

The fact the actors came up with their OTP names: people tend to forget that KD’s real otp name (according with Jongin) is dika. Cory also came up with Nygmobblepot name and Smaylor too <3

So, meanwhile Nygmobs has thropies that work a lot with KD AUs, Smaylor has healthy dynamics seen in public appearances KD made. Like I said above, there’s a huge polemic about shipping Smaylor romantically because Robin is married. On social media, is visible he loves his husband and it’s pretty cute to see. Cory himself mentioned that their relationship was sort of a platonic friendship (whatever that means) but it’s really genuine in terms of affections and display of admiration, something KD has as well.

Probably someone will question that it may changed the way I see KD or if now I ship them as bros. Nothing about that changed. With KD, although there are some similar details, there are internal AND external factors that made me support them in a romantic perspective in the first place. And it didn’t change. 

But both of them (Nygmobs too) make me feel that I’m testimoning something genuine, which is really hard in both kpop and media universes. In one side, we have a LOT of fanservice. And, in the other, it’s mostly a work interaction with lots of queerbating. Yes, Gotham has queerbating aspects in it but it’s not full of queerbating, if it makes sense. The message the actors and some writers wanted to convey are there and really display a romantic direction with character evolution and growth. And, considering the way media is nowadays, it’s nice to see.

[yourturntoimagine]

Keiji relationship headcannons

I love one (1) ex cop, so I’ve decided to start off this blog with some headcannons of Keiji!

Warnings: Maybe minor spoilers for chapter 1 part 2? Not really though

Relationship headcannons:

- He’s actually pretty cuddly behind closed doors?

- While in public he doesnt mind holding your hand and giving you tiny kisses, dont be suprised when he pulls you into a cuddle and starts kissing your face out of nowhere in private

- Enjoys quiet dates, so late night walks through parks with you, simply listening to you talk about your day is his ideal type of date

- Not a big fan on carnival/festival dates because of the crowded areas, but he’ll still enjoy trying to win you a gift on one of the minigames

- You own a giant teddy bear he won you at one of your carnival dates a while back

- He used to cook a bit when he was younger for his mom and himself, so sometimes he’ll suprise you to a breakfast in bed or dinner after a long work shift

- If he ever feels anxious or stressed he’ll hold your hand and squeeze it, it helps him calm down

- You gotta be pretty patient with Keiji since it takes him a while before he ever opens up to you, just cause he’ll be worried about how you’ll percieve him once you learn about his past

- If he ever has nightmares or hallucinations just be there and hold him. Hugging him and whispering comforting things, assuring him that you’re still there and that it’s only the two of you, that kinda stuff.

- Even if he wont say what—or who—his nightmares were about, he’ll still be super grateful for your efforts to comfort him

- On a lighter note, the nights he does spend sleeping mostly peacefully, he loves having you pressed up against him with his arm over you, like you’re a sort of teddy bear

- no matter how tall you are he’s almost always the big spoon, finds it more comfortable that way

- Enjoys using nicknames, his favourites are probably sweetheart or honey. i’d like to think hes a sap in that sleazy kinda way lol

- Bonus points if his S/O is one thats easily flustered, he’ll probably like to see how many ways he can catch you off gaurd with his flirting

Thats it for now, I probably got a lot more hcs somewhere in my brain but thats for a later date lmao

[bluemoonpunch]

Regarding spirituality, which stage of conscious awareness has reached each Bangtan member? [anonymous @ bluemoonpunch(.)com]

I thought this was kind of interesting because I haven’t done a reading like this for them in a long time. This is focused purely on the state of their conscious level awareness, which can relate to aspects of the ascension process and their personal integration process, as well as their separation, however, it is more geared towards personal thought process and self-awareness as it relates to the expansion of personal perspective.

Overall, collectively, between the seven of them, there is the 9 of Pentacles which gave me this image of a full basket, like someone just went to the grocery store and filled up a basket and they’re getting ready to check out. They’re not fully out of the store yet, but they have what they need. Their state of mind, their outlooks, are what they need to be right now, their perception of themselves and the world around them are exactly what they need at this current moment. It’s stabilized, it’s grounded, it’s all kind of rooted in and come into bloom as the 9 of Pentacles would suggest, but there is that limited feel to it. Like what blooms will surely wilt, what you have in your basket will surely run out at some point. It’s temporary, as all perspectives, mindsets, and outlooks are, but, again, it’s as it should be right now.

Namjoon — 10 of Cups

This is a massively optimistic outlook, but it’s so massive that it’s like he’s really trying to build it up and maintain it. It feels like he’s trying to paint the picture of the 10 of Cups big enough that it completely blocks out anything else that he may come across or experience. He wants to — I think we all know this — see the bright side of everything, see the potential in everything, and see life in general as this limitless abundance. The 10 of Cups does feel like a dream, it is just Water energy, it’s very internal and emotional, so it does feel like there’s the awareness of this not being “realistic,” as in it’s not something that can be experienced without an effort behind it. The world isn’t just going to suddenly be sunshine in rainbows on its own, there is a conscious level choice to specifically focus on the positive and to find the positive. He’s learning how to do this and, as I mentioned a million years ago in his Elemental Alignment reading, he teaches while he learns, so this is being spread to people that pay attention to what he says and does.

Jin — The Moon

This isn’t that different from what I usually get for him other than that this is very internally focused, or more like it’s externally focused, but from a deeper internal perspective. Usually Jin is kind of looking at everything from above, seeing things and doing things outside of everyone else’s line of sight and from there he operates flawlessly and progresses really smoothly. I kept seeing this as going back and forth between the Sun and the Moon in terms of his perspective. Both are in the sky, both are looking down on everyone and everything else, being observant, but the general energy or mindset from which they look down on everything is very different. In the last like 15 or so readings that I’ve done for BTS, I’ve talked about the integration process and the symbolism of integrating the Sun, or the will of the soul. This is what that is making me think of. The perspective of the Sun is very charged up and will-oriented, very Divine Masculine, while the Moon is more receptive and intuitive, very Divine Feminine. 

Jin is looking at things as he always has, but he’s doing so in a way where it feels like he’s finding more meaning in things that he once only looked at superficially. He’s finding significance in people, places, things, experiences that settle with him on a deeper, more emotional level. He’s taking things in more. “Stop to smell the roses,” is a phrase that comes to mind with this. He’s sort of enjoying the moment, living in the moment, rather than fully being wrapped up in what’s coming next, what he has to do, where he has to go, who he has to be. 

Yoongi — 4 of Cups

This card actually came out two times for him. The first time I was shuffling for his card a whole heap of them flew out onto my desk and the 4 of Cups was the only one upright and I thought that was the card, but I’m like really annoying and refuse to take cards when they’ve been rude and flung a whole stack all around and made a mess. So, I put it back and shuffled again and the 4 of Cups came out again on its own — much more polite. 

This energy feels really weird for Yoongi like it feels… small? Or it feels much more contained than what I’m used to feeling for him, especially considering the last big reading that I did for him in the current state was his External Alignment reading last year which showed his energy to be very strained. Of course, we are just looking at the conscious level perception, so the fact that this feels so small may be because there’s an effort in… shrinking that strain… you know what I mean? Like, the 4 of Cups always hits me in two ways — either someone is trying to meditate and receive something, or someone is being handed something and they’re not aware of it because they’re sleeping, but here it feels more like the 4 of Swords, which is about intentionally allowing yourself to rest and relax, to unwind and drift. With the focus on Water energy here, it feels more intuitive, energetic, spiritual. So, if I were to really force my perspective, it would be like he actually is meditating more, or he’s allowing himself to step back and take a break, or he’s not trying to force himself one way or the other. 

With his energy, a lot of the times, he really pushes and pushes and pushes against certain currents that he’s in, like he’s genuinely got a fighting spirit in that sense, but here there is a conscious level attempt to just not do that anymore. He’s trying to honor his Water energy, honor his natural flow, and kind of let his Fire energy relax a bit. Similar to Jin, it’s just this vibe of not leaving the current position, but approaching the current position from a new lens.

Hoseok — 10 of Swords / Kook — 8 of Swords

Hoseok and Kook have the only “negative” cards in the mix and they’re both of the suit of Swords, both dealing with very conscious level mental energy, logical thought. There’s not a lot of stimulation here to the aspect of communication on either side, it’s very personal and very isolated. They’re both kind sitting in the same space, going through the same process, but because of their different levels of progression as well as maturity and experiences, they are definitely going through the motions of this very differently.

Both sides are purging a lot of old mindsets and outlooks, making room for something new. Hoseok, with the 10 of Swords, is like almost aggressively trying to shift himself consciously into a new frame of mind, but it feels like he’s trying to fit his perception emotionally to what he sees through a more objective lens. I was seeing this as him trying to completely eradicate any mentality that does not align with what he experiences externally, as in getting rid of any self-doubt, insecurity, fear, or resentment that doesn’t fit his experience with his life now with all of his success, both personally and with the group. He’s trying to initiate a complete collapse in his PERCIEVED reality in order to completely see things separate from his emotions — very Aquarius of him. 

Then Kook is over there pulling some Virgo shit, doing the exact same thing, but he’s doing it piece by piece, which seems tedious and annoying because it’s almost like once he puts down one thing to focus on another, the thing he just put down starts to fester again. I was seeing his card, the 8 of Swords, as this process where the woman, is aware that she is blindfolded and bound — bound to limiting mindsets — and so she actually is proactive and tries to get out of it. However, her way of doing this involves her like feeling the swords around her, touching them to see which one is the sharpest or the cleanest, or the whatever. She’s trying to pick which sword to pull out of the ground and use to cut her own bindings even though she could totally just pick one at random and call it a day. 

It’s almost like he doesn’t have the capacity the way Hoseok does to just kind of take everything on at once in terms of internal assessment and clearing, so he has to break things down. He’s doing it as if this is a process of deliberate action, but really this is more like a very slow and tedious process of becoming a bit more self-aware. 

The best way to really show the difference here is to look at the images of the 10 of Swords and the 8 of Swords. They share similar compositions with all 10 or 8 swords being presented stood up vertically across the entire image. The only difference is that in the 10 of Swords, the person is laying horizontally on the ground, stabbed and pinned by all ten swords, while in the 8 of Swords, the person is stood up vertically alongside all of the swords, still blending in with them. It’s almost like Kook is trying to compromise or find an easy method to pulling things out — actually, no that’s what it is.

It’s like Kook is trying to pull the swords out while Hoseok is trying to push the swords in. These are two different methods to which people will approach emotional and mental clearing when it is being initiated consciously. They will either try to simply yank out the issue or the block by the root and release its influence over them, or they will try to integrate the mindset, the experience, whatever in order to understand the purpose or the lesson of it, and from there operate with it from a more positive and beneficial perspective. 

So, yeah, they’re doing the same thing, but with different methods and the matter of maturity or understanding is coming in as this thing where Hoseok has enough self-awareness to know that he has to reset and heal broken bones, while Kook, a bit more lost in the wind, is trying to just amputate a broken limb.

Jimin — 8 of Pentacles / Taehyung — 7 of Pentacles

Just like Hoseok and Kook, Taehyung and Jimin are in the same boat, but they’re actually doing things in a mirrored or balanced process. This could mean that they are in a state of working together to kind of better themselves or they’ve made similar goals in terms of how they want to see themselves and the world around them and they’ve kind of teamed up in a way to help each other do this. It actually seems kind of straightforward and obvious, but I still can’t figure out exactly how to explain it, so I’ll just try to break it down as finely as possible and hopefully, it will just spell itself out.

So, first off, these are both Pentacles, they’re both Earth energy, very physical, very grounded, very superficial. Compared to everyone else, they are very externally focused and driven, but not in a way where it’s like FIRE energy, action-oriented kind of focus. It’s just a hyper-awareness of the physical form or of the superficial aspect of themselves. 

Jimin is there with the 8 of Pentacles. He’s carving his physical form, his superficial presence out. With all of those pentacles, it’s like there’s this sense of trial and error, trying things on, trying on different ways of being in order to see what really fits and what balances between his internalized true self and the external persona that is more for the audience. Then on the other side, you have Taehyung with the 7 of Pentacles, which I was seeing as him having finished his pentacles and already having them on display for people to see as they are, no tampering, no carving, just kind of there. 

For anyone that’s read a lot of my BTS readings where Taehyung and Jimin are featured, perhaps you’ve noticed something interesting. Compared to what they usually project, it’s almost like they’ve switched places. 

Typically, as I’ve seen it for a long time, Taehyung is one to “carve his personality,” — flashback to his Elemental Alignment readings (part 1 + part 2) with all the masks and the split core — while Jimin was always very on display in his readings, to the point where I had to constantly take stuff out of my notes and out of his readings because it was just too “on display,” he’s almost too open to people. They’ve traded that here in this process and now Jimin is trying to carve his persona, while Taehyung is trying to display himself as he is without any tampering. 

Now, with how they operated before with Taehyung having his masks and Jimin being an open and honest beam of light, there was a lot of negative, or just hindering results which caused Jimin to be very receptive to and open for criticism and attack from external influences (hate and shit) while Taehyung was very tightly wound and would only express solid emotion when it was literally too much for him to hold — I said before in a post somewhere that if he’s crying openly and it seems like he’s at a level 4, he’s really at a level 9 in terms of emotional distress. And yes, even tears of joy would be considered distress for him because he would be experiencing an overload nonetheless.

So, they are supporting each other here because they are adopting each other’s methods, but in a way where it balances out their own previous perspectives. When they combine both of those aspects together within themselves as individuals, it becomes open honesty with clear and necessary boundaries, it becomes more healthy in how they understand and express themselves with others.

More Mini-Readings | Celebrity/Idol Readings 

[sorrythatwasmean]

We’re Not Out of the Mountains Yet

They excavated Bruce out of the Hulkbuster armor and the mountain. They’re not sure how long he was trapped. It was long enough for them to fear the worst. Bruce was unconscious, barely breathing, heart barely beating, but he wasn’t dust. It was enough.

A Wakandan doctor said anyone else would’ve died. They weren’t sure how to wake him. Or if they should. What if while Bruce slept, if the Other Guy percieved it as an attack? There was too much to deal with as it was.

But then the flatline, the warning beeeeeeeep, and the medical tent staff froze. They hestitated. Get the voltage wrong, do too much and what if-if-Bruce Banner wasn’t the one who woke up?

Thor lifted his head. They were spending too much time on fear. On numbers. Science explained, but what they called magic bound them all. He could not revive the ashen heaps that remained of lost souls, but this... this he could do.

They had survived Ragnarok. Banner had not given up even when he thought Thor lost to Valhalla.

“Not yet, my friend.”

Electricity crackled from right Thor’s hand and he placed it over Bruce’s heart. Zap! One. Zap! Two. Zap! Three. At the fourth, Bruce gasped, his eyes flashed green and Thor tensed, hand still on Bruce’s chest, ready if that was who was coming, but the green faded.

Bruce blinked up at Thor. The lightning stopped crackling from his fingertips and Thor almost smiled. “Banner. Welcome back.”

Bruce tried sitting up, but Thor stopped him. “Rest.”

“What happened did…did the Other Guy…?”

Thor shook his head. He knew they’d have to break the news to Bruce, but couldn’t they have this moment?

Steve appeared at Thor’s side.“Doctor. We thought we lost you there…”

Confusion still clouded Bruce’s features.Thor wondered how many times he’d had to reassemble events from scattered memories, but this was different. The Hulk had not been on the battlefield.And no one seemed to know what to say now.

Bruce would not glean answers from silence.So, he asked, “...No Tony?”

Bruce glanced at Thor. Thor wondered if the next question forming was because Thor had returned. But he didn’t have answers either. Someone had to speak. Natasha exchanged a look with Rhodey before responding gently.“Not yet.”

Silences added up to more questions and Bruce Banner, ever the scientist, wanted answers.“What aren’t you telling me?What did I miss this time?”

“Why are all of y’all pussyfooting around this? It’s disgusting.”

Thor turned and looked down. “Rabbit—“

“Rocket. I ain’t whatever that is,”said Rocket striding in.“Have a nice nap? Where were you when we needed you?”

Bruce’s brow burrowed.“I don’t even know you—“

“I heard about you,”said Rocket pointing a finger. “On Sakaar? Big, green, powerful. We needed that and you weren’t there.This is your fault.”

“How is this—? What are you saying?“

“Your fault!”said Rocket launching himself at Bruce. The two rolled off the cot. Bruce’s hands pushed at Rocket’s face and paws, trying to avoid his claws, but Rocket kicked, too.

Steve shouted, “Knock it off!”

“I’ll-knock-him-off!”growled Rocket.”Shut it, Stars and Stripes!”

Bruce tried to shove him away, tried to roll to pin the smaller being, but Rocket was quicker and Bruce was too busy defending himself, trying to stay calm even as the scratches and blows landed. Medical tent. They were in a medical tent. It didn’t matter if the Other Guy probably wouldn’t come out. He hadn’t yet. Bruce couldn’t risk it.

A crack of lightning zapped near them. “Enough, Rocket!” said Thor pulling Rocket away by the scruff of his neck.

“Put me down!PUT-me-DOWN!No right!”

Rhodey offered Bruce a hand. Bruce stumbled back to the cot and Bruce examined the scratches on his arms. He turned to Rhodey. “He’s pissed off and it’s not about me, is it?”

“No,”said Rhodey. “It’s...”

“They’re dead. They’re ALL dead! And it’s your fault!”screamed Rocket.

Bruce wanted to ask who, but he stared at the raccoon who was tiring as Thor restrained him. Bruce tried to remember. “Where’s the—the tree?”

“Not a tree! How dare you?”

And Thor had to hold Rocket tighter as he tried squirming away again.Bruce scrambled for something to say.

“What was...” His? Her? The alien tree? Bruce settled on words not knowing how the usually plural pronoun was appropriate. “...their name?”

“...Groot. Their name was Groot,”said Rocket. And Bruce knew Rocket’s mass hadn’t changed at all, but he seemed smaller somehow.

“I’m sorry,”said Bruce.”If I could’ve...I tried...I did. I don’t know what’s happening with us.”

Rocket’s gaze lingered on the handle of Stormbreaker. And the flash of another memory. We are Groot. Rocket finally met Bruce’s gaze. “...Us? Like ‘we’?”

Bruce thought maybe it was a yes. He didn’t know what was happening here with any of them.But that wasn’t what he meant.The Other Guy hadn’t abandoned him. Bruce felt that familiar flare of fire beneath his skin, that uneasiness and dull ache of being on the verge of turning, but it wasn’t going anywhere and he didn’t know how to calm it. And he wasn’t the only one holding it back. Bruce didn’t know what the hell the Other Guy was doing. But that seemed too difficult to untangle here in front of everyone and Rocket.

“Yes. No. The green guy and me. We... I-“

“Still kicked ass without him...”said Rocket sniffing a little in Thor’s arms.“...you in your tin can suit. I saw.”

“Not enough ass kicking, then.”

“A lot of that goin’ around,”said Rocket. He elbowed Thor a little. “I’m not gonna bite him. Put me down.”

“Maybe I just enjoy hugging angry friends...”said Thor still holding Rocket.

“Shut up.”

Thor set him down. Rocket waved a hand. “Quit staring and someone show me where the food is. I’m hungry.”

“Thanks for not biting me,”said Bruce.He touched his lip and a spot of blood was on his fingertips.”And I’d wash your hands before you eat.”

“Why’s that?”said Rocket stopping in front of the tent flap.

“My blood’s a biohazard.”

“No shit?” said Rocket. “Let’s make sure I don’t turn green.”

“I could eat,”said Steve joining Thor and Rocket.

“I told y’all I ain’t gonna bite anyone,”said Rocket as he lifted the tent flap.”You don’t have to chaperone...”

“Okay. I don’t trust you,”said Steve. “You might have rabies. Might attack everyone.”

“Smarter than you look and I’m insulted. Don’t know what rabies is, but it sounds like bull, Stars and Stripes...”said Rocket as they left.

Rhodey and Natasha did almost smile at that. Rhodey waited until Rocket was out of earshot. “Am I allowed to tell Tony when he comes back that you didn’t defend Veronica’s honor?”

“You’re worried about the hulkbuster’s honor?”said Bruce. “What about me?”

“Raccoon called it a ‘tin can’ and you didn’t say anything. Get your head and those scratches checked out,”said Rhodey. He glanced at Natasha. Then, he looked at Bruce. “Where did all the doctors run off to?I’ll find somebody.Hang on.”

“What? Why? I’m fine.“ said Bruce as if he hadn’t just warned a talking raccoon about his blood, but Rhodey was already bee-lining to the other end of the tent where there were a couple of doctors and nurses.

Bruce cleared his throat and tried to look at his arm fully aware Natasha was the only one left at his cot.

“Guess no one wanted to tell me what happened, then. You could’ve left, too.” He met her gaze. And he knew Ultron and Clint’s house was years ago for her, but Hulk had piloted for much of that. And Bruce couldn’t help it even if he’d never unraveled that thread between them. “Missed your window.”

Natasha tucked her hair behind her ear. And Bruce didn’t know if his words had registered. She was a spy. Or she had been. She was hard to read.Natasha stayed where she was. “You know what happened. You tried to warn us.”

Bruce tried to steel himself, but it had to be asked.“Who?”

“We’re still trying to figure that out,”said Natasha crossing her arms.”But...Bucky. Sam. T’Challa. Wanda. Vision. And I’m not counting the ones who weren’t dust.”

“Dust?Like ashes to ashes? Dust to dust?”

“You didn’t see it?”said Natasha.

“Guess I miss things even when I don’t have to worry about the Other Guy.”

“Maybe he was still trying to protect you.” Natasha stepped closer.

Bruce didn’t know. “He’s not saying.”

“We lost you for a moment there.But here you are. That’s good.”

“Longer than a moment.” Thor had said two years, but Bruce wasn’t sure how long ago that was. It all blended together: Ultron, Sokovia, bits and pieces of Sakaar until he’d come to in the quinjet in the middle of a space-dump heap, Ragnarok, and now the dusting of the universe.

“I meant...not that,”said Natasha shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I meant...”

“Just now. Not then?”

“Maybe I meant both. I don’t know.” Natasha sat on the cot next to him.“Thor said you were stuck. What’s the last thing you remember?”

Bruce didn’t know why she was asking. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to answer that or if it was even true. Maybe it wasn’t the last time he was himself. Maybe it was just what he wanted to remember.

“Sokovia. You asked if I had a key. I shot the cell doors open and--” Right. The kiss. And...

“I pushed you away,” she said. Pushed him off a ledge. And Hulk leapt back out. If she was reading his thoughts or if he was just that easy to read,she was focusing on the wrong thing. Bruce shook his head.

“Maybe I needed a push.You--all of you needed the Other Guy.” Hell. Bruce had jumped out of an alien spaceship in front of a gigantic alien wolf named Fenrir to coax Hulk out.Natasha had meant well. Betrayed for the right reasons? He’d rather that then what other people had done to him. “I’m sorry. I know it’s been longer for all of you.”

“But that means for you, it’s been shorter.You're apologizing again. Why? This was Thanos. Not you. Big Guy stealing a quinjet then getting sucked into space somehow? That wasn’t you.”

“It was and it wasn’t.”

“It’s complicated,”said Natasha.

“It always has been.”

“Not sure I know any other way to live,”she said with a shrug.”Who has simple? No one.”

“Can’t run from that. Hulk tried. Look what happened.And we’re not out of the mountains yet, are we?”

“We freed you from one. But no, plenty of mountains. Mission just means more now.”

Rhodey was coming back with a hesitant huddle of medical professionals. Natasha stood. “Gotta let them make you pretty again.”

“Not a fan of bruised Banner?” He would’ve winked, but his cheek hurt too.

“I’m sure dying and getting attacked by raccoons is exhausting so I’ll forgive the pun.”

“Living, you mean.Living is exhausting.”

“All the more reason to let them make you pretty again and get your beauty sleep.” She waved at Rhodey. “Take care of him.”

Rhodey shook his head. “I’m the only one doing that. I got the doctors.” He turned back to Bruce.“ ‘Bruised Banner’? Really?”

Bruce definitely smiled at knowing he’d caught that.“Ow.”

“See even your body hates that pun.”

[determined-magi]

There is a quiet chuckle...

The red mage sits by the mount’s top, gazing by one of the ravines of the former volcano, red eyes turning to the kingdom’s capital as he eventally sighs.

“ Not different, eh? “

He can see that, god, it was becoming a reason for him to dislike the man more. Or perhaps, it was just a reason to irk his bitter soul, he wonders. Emotions for him are not allways what they seem, and how could they not? So many things to remember, so many things he’d rather forget, all of them taking away the up and down of what it meant to feel as someone should, to see and think like he sane would. He ponders on the meaning of the words... the concepts they mean, and tries to compare them to the notions his mind gives. Another sigh, ah, yes... He could see why those would be there. The boy was all he had once been; a part of him wonders if he is still. The gleam behind the skele- the man’s eyes, it had the same shine he once had, it was rather painfull to see on someone else, still full of life and with a firm belief that he no longer could relate to. It was not in foolishness though, mind you, for even then, the spark behind them bore scars in a subtle shift, a faint distancing. And his most recent words could not hide them behind, not from someone who knew to feign many things for many reasons, who had felt and gone through so much at some point until all was tangled and screwed beyond recognition.

“ I wish it wasn’t, it would make it easier... “

To hate him? To like him? He doesn’t know, but he has grown to get used to never knowing what he truly wants in the end. And honestly? He doesn’t care, nor ever wishes to truly know, it wouldn’t mater anyway. It would be likely a goal for him to never meet, a dream that would not come true, an idea that just stays like that... an imaginary. They say fate doesn’t exist, but he allways feel as if it was chaining him down the same cursed path one sane boy had before dying. But he wasn’t dead, was he? Death was the termination of the living physically, he knew, and he was no ghost, revenant, wraith, of any undead, no... He surely feel like that though. The differences between his teen self, the young child, and his present persona were all different. They shared some traits, yes, but by now for him it all felt fake, a farse made a play for god to see like a blasted theather tale to reenact through countless worlds, and he wouldn’t be wrong, he had seen it play by in tiny glimpses of other worlds. Sat didn’t feing as much, he have come to percieve. Yes, he feigned a lot, don’t get him wrong. But it felt as the weights were lighter in the man, that the man still had more chances... heh...

“ It would be far more easier... “

To see a reflection of what once was was not pleasant, nor to find one that, despite everything, still held true to itself. Even with the weight they had underneath. Still full of things he had lost when he broke, and of things he had forsaken himself from getting back. It was a refresing agony, a torture and a relief both, the developing laceration and solace of healing at the same. It brought things to surface, too many. Coming in and by as quickly as they would leave, gifting leftover trails of themselves in such a manner that allways ends the same... lost and adrift on the sea of a untamed sea, with the waves being hard to stay afloat with at best, and pacing between the waking and drowning at worst on the twisted nature he has grown to embrace... And lets thrive and creep on him as poisonous weed vines in his mind, lets it pierce his skin and take root around is veins and heart, taking away the blood and replacing it with something toxic, yet at the same so pleasant...

He wonders what would it be like to let be, allow the weed take and replace his heart, and just unwind. It would be so easy, men would not notice before he gained a good amount of Execution Points and Levels of Violence,he could kill everyone ina village, and they would never realize it until contact was lacking for a good while... He knows he should not humor the though but...

He sighs once more, so easy to drift in the “wrong” direction. Who is to not tell he will influence in a similar path to that man? Yeah, the guy’s not foolish... but who knows? Does he care? Perhaps? He knows not, his thoughts are riddled in intents and feelings that betray and confuse the meaning of it all...

“ But in the end... does it matter? “

Their fate was not going to be a good one, or at least all accounts of what he’s tried to do up to this point seem to claim... a greek tragedy. War would be imminent, total genocide for monsterkind set in stone, and then for all things with magic, himself included. Gilrin would kill her own students, Belle would break his promises, Braigon betray his friends, Thannor likely become a beast with lust for death in his eyes, vengefull justice would corrupt his judge friend, Thanneth would lose all chances of redemption... And he? He’d finally kill of the last remnants he has kept of himself in a long forgoten promise, one he no longer knows why he keeps, to incarnate the last moments of an angel’s fall from grace, unto the hellish fires to be reborn a righteous demon on this world. And even then, like the lord of hell, play a role of service to the good ones, or doom of all. As they change erradication for imprisonment, for undefinitive banishment. In exchange of what is likely to be their inevitable own doom.

“ In any case... it doens’t look like we will have a happy ending. “

The man should save himself the grief, he had told it himself, humans win, the prince-king would rise victorious from the battle he declared. And they would, in a last ditch attempt to stop the end of an entire race, banish them for many, many years, until all that is remembered is their role as seven imprisoners.

“ We’re just a bunch of dead men walking... “

He would just be wasting his time.

[flourishingbatter]

TheHomecoming : Continental cross-over pt.3

[An excerpt from the Discord server ; detailing the experiences from the various attendees to arrive.

Later on, after having an insightful discussion only a few minutes ago, as suggested of course that they've been managing to follow the...Supposed evidence which showed various trees that were bent to and fro; on the left, faults in the earth were present with overturned logs and on the right, were strange luminscent embers consisting of a violet hue seeped off the bark where there was more of a destructive incident that left this behind.

Paul

 Seemingly enough, Paul was more so grimacing at the sight presented while he continued to stick with the group. "...I don't think Johnny caused this...I- ...Where the heck is that doctor?"

Revak

[Revak couldn't help but be awestruck by the sheer scale of destruction in the area, his wings pressed against his back as the tension of the scene around him seemed to be affecting him personally, as if on guard.] [Upon Paul's musings in regards to another person, the boss hybrid turned to the mushroom in slight confusion.] *...D... Doctor...? What doctor?

Paul

"He- He was Johnny's way of gettin' home...Until recently that I haven't heard from him since until now."

Sela

Sela listens quietly, hand in her sweater pocket as they walk.

Paul

"I kinda met him during this...Time when I stumbled into this one place. Somethin' called the GBJ or whatever it was called. Anyways, he was talking about getting...Signatures so he made me wear a bracelet.""Er...And then I guess I kinda wandered off to do my own thing.""...Ugh, I feel like a lousy friend for not bein' there for Johnny."

Revak

[The GBJ...? Where did Revak hear that term before...?] [Regardless, he moved over to give the mushroom a reassuring pat atop his cap, the dragon rather capable of sympathizing with those particular sentiments.] *...Don't beat yourself up, friend. There's no way you could've predicted this outcome, and dwelling on "what ifs" isn't gonna help the situation. [He looks up in the direction the group was headed, clawed hands placed in his jeans' denim pockets, the ground springy beneath his leather boots.] *The way I see it, what counts right now is that you're here now, trying to help him in what's clearly a time of need for him.

Paul

Paul hummed for a moment, having no reason to object to Revak's way of comfort. He appreciated that, at least and that reasoning alone was more then enough to boost his moral optimism. "Y-yeah...He's just scared. That's what I think."

Lilith

[* Lilith would nod in agreement to both statements.] "Fear will make one commit farfetched actions. Though I am certain we can break it from him with enough effort." "But yes, do not dwell on what 'should' have happened to avoid this circumstance. It will do no good for you, trust me."

Paul

Paul nods for a moment, thinking over their words and couldn't help but share some admirable mutuality with the dragon. In all aspects, despite how silent the group was, maybe he could at least make this get-together worth something by breaking the ice. After all, a little distraction before the conundrum sounded like the best option to go for. "Say uh...While we're headin' over, wanna introduce ourselves to each other? I'll go first, I'm Paul. Champion boxer-in-the-making. The title's sort've a thing I needa work on."

Revak

[A fanged grin was had in response.] *I'll go next. *Name's Revak Gleamwing. Owner of the Dragon's Horde smithy in Waterfall, and son of the infamous war veteran, Nidhoggr. ["Infamous"... to those in his original timeline maybe. To these people he was likely just as nameless as he was.](edited)

Sela

Idly walking forward, she didn't bother to turn around for her introduction, instead giving a light wave of the hand. Her twin tails swayed lightly side to side as she moved almost as if she were sashaying, her actual tails curled lightly and lifted from the ground much like a cat's. "Sela, junkshop owner in the back of Waterfall."

Happy

Happy had been quietly, and grumpily following the group and for the most part was quiet, save for mumbling and complaining underneath his breath about the situation every now and then. But now was the time for introduction. As much as he wanted to avoid focusing on anything else other than his date being ruined or kicking Johnny's ass for ruining it, he might as well introduce himself. Last thing he needed was for these guys to call him something else on the spot and anger him more than he needed to be. * ...... Happy. The name's Happy, pal. He would cross his vines and look up in an almost snooty fashion.

Revak

[Huh... seemed he remembered the flower from the resort. However, he didn't comment on his percieved crankiness, as everyone here had good reason to be upset.]

Revak

*...All I really gotta say is, once this is all over, I'm taking a few weeks off to spend time with my loved ones. [He sighed gently, a puff of flame bubbling from the dragon's mouth.]

Happy

* HA. HAHA!* NO KIDDING A sudden outburt from the flower. * I WAS PLANNING TO SPEND MY TIME WITH MY LOVED ONE JUST AS  THIS ALL WAS BEGINING.* And now, that's probably going to have to wait.* Again.

Paul

There is a subtle amount of concern when Paul looked on over to Happy. Nonetheless, the mushroom could only nod in a gesture of mutual agreement. "...I-I'm sure he's gonna be reasonable. Not sure how his parents will react to him...Bein' changed and all that."

Lilith

[* Lilith would wait until the oters finished speaking before lifing her own voice.] "My name is Lucida. However.. I have taken to the name 'Lilith' lately due to some confusion with a counterpart of mine."

Revak

[He'd been about to respond but upon hearing the skeleton speak, he paused... He remembered a small UnderNet encounter awhile back with a "Lucida", but... surely there were dozen of Lucida's. Best not to assume.] * I hear ya. I had a counterpart whose girlfriend mistook me for him. * Things nearly got ugly, to say the least... [It'd been nerve wracking at the time, but looking back at the confusion he couldn't help but laugh.]

Sela

Counterparts. The shopkeep couldn't help but almost laugh when she thought of hers. Dheela was definitely... her own sorta case. Even if they really were quite similar. She could understand Happy's sentiments, being in a foreign world stranded was definitely not on her to-do list for today. "I hope this doesn't take long."

Paul

The strange shift in topics about counterparts did make the mushroom sort've draw a blank in his mind. If he had an alternate, then...That'd be almost comparable to having a sibling? Or in this case, twins if he were to deem it that. Right now, he didn't have any say on the matter but Sela's brief comment remind him of the current event. "...Yeah..."

Happy

* ......Oh... I hope Corrupted isn't worried about me. He was waiting right outside that portal..... The flower sighed.

Sela

"Maybe he's... Wherever the fuck Johnny moved the portal, with him."

Revak

* ...I hope Solo's doing ok... [He'd been in so many scraps lately, he couldn't help but get a bad feeling about her current state. Especially considering a certain Wendigo was now in the picture...]

[telharmonism]

A rant

My emotions are strong

they're just, tired I guess

sometimes

I get tired a lot even

I need like 10-12 hours of sleep a night

it's comfy for me

I'm happy when I'm asslep

not having to express

can be surprisingly expressive

I've been playing a lot of smash

Chase and I play

so does my roommate, Emory

we play similarly

chase plays the neutral almost exclusively, emory and I play the punish game more

I play it more than emory, he plays neutral too

I generally win overall between us

Chase and I do doubles, there's a weekly tournament in our dorms

It's funny, teaming with him

we've got no team synergy

absolutely none

I understand how he thinks though so it can sometimes work

but he doesn't give or take in doubles, he focuses on himself

no team combos, lel

I feel like I haven't written in a while

I really want to

Piano has always been Emily's expression, so I picked it up

I'm pretty alright at it

That's me being humble

I'm good at what I can play

which is like 3 songs though

but they're damn good songs.

hm

weird shifts

weird cravings

wanting to be heard is weird

by who? what kind of person?

what does it mean to be understood?

Understood in the way I want to be, or in a different way?

what people want and need doesn't line up sometimes

Everything's energy btw

That's how I think of things

I noticed it when I was playing Chess

I'm gonna credit this to Emily actually

she's a very.. spiritual person. It interests me but she hides it

but like

she caused shifts in how I thought about things

covered some blind spots

When I play chess, I see the board as a container of a liquidish energy. 2 energies, that cancel each other out on collision

and the goal is to transfer some onto the enemy's core

the rest of it is cutting off supplies, combination shifts, angles and momentum

I've played a lot of Go, it taught that too

more intense topicsDo you ever get tired of your way of being? Likeeveryone has their own natural language, mode in which they percieve the worldWay they sort things and judge thingsit's their methodology as it wereand relationships and friendships and art is all based on that, ways that are close to the truth or well taken or otherwise prettyand sometimes I've found we can become trapped in our way of being, we can lose awarness for how we do, take a specific aspect of our way and make it "The way"and then it hits us all at once, the awareness that it's a very narrow mode to beand the awareness is both exhausting and relievingfreeing in future, trapping in pastThings tend to mirror themselves when there's truth to them like thatAnd there's another component to realizing it, it's a function of my wayTo undertand entirely, to adapt and reconcileI try and figure out how I could've prevented it to begin withI look for early signs that it was happing to form a neural link with the memory, to warn myself to not repeat the same mistake again in the futureit's very frustrating, because becoming trapped in your own perspective happens slowly, and by definition in a cognitive blindspotand becuase of it, there's no tangible sign to it, that could be keyed in on or passively noticedso it's frustrating.I see a general problem, general imbalance that creeps up every once in a whilebut I haven't found the solution yetI don't see oneit's hiding somewhere from meI know one way to fix it would be to shift my passive and active focuses arounaroundmeditate regularly, attend to myself before my worldthe suchIt'd be a major change, I'd end up a lot like Chaseand frankly I don't actually believe I could, not fullyI've been doing a minor shift like that since summerso I'm hoping there's a way to handle that problem that's more native to my own mode.Yeah, I haven't ranted like this in a loooong time.So thanksI know you can hear itI know how to see youbetter than I didI'm more reconciled in myself than beforealways a work in progress, as it wereAlways trying to solve problemsto fix myselfI don't even know why, honestly.I know myself really well.That's the one thing I've never been able to figure out or explainwhy I doI guess everyone's gotta have a purpose or something.Something they do without explanationsomething to balance everything else they do onBecause, no matter how much we try and look,there are no actual foundations for anything.There are foundationsbut there are no foundations for foundations.That is what I seeThat's my perceptionInstead of worrying about if it will be heard correctly, I should rather worry about if I see it correctly.Implicit in worrying about how one is perceived is a self assurance that they are a truth to perceive.