#it’s in the song’s name for pete’s sake

[fleetn-crab85]

You know you're better than this...

[bookshelf-dust]

change my mind

carmen berzatto x fem!reader

gif by @emziess

word count: 1,876

warnings: swearing, sugar is still pregnant for the sake of this fic, some playful shouting/sibling behavior, clingy and petty carmy, smooching, barely proofread cuz i’m lazy lol

synopsis: carmy takes it personally when you tell him he has separation anxiety. he just wants you to stay with him all the time. since when is that a problem?

a/n: yes, this is absolutely a fic inspired by and named after a one direction song. i’m healing my inner child and this song just never, ever gets old, lemme’ tell you. with my winter break getting closer, i desperately need some clingy carmy.

————

“Natalie!” You practically screech, embracing the woman, arms strong around her shoulders but going easy with how close you bring yourself to her growing belly. She smiles and laughs into your hair. You both sway back and forth, secretly thinking how good it is to be in another sane person's presence. 

Sugar says your name in the sweetest tone, the kind that, even though she’s hugging you, gives away the grin on her face. “I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve been dying to have some girl time, I swear.”

You both turn at the sound of the door slamming shut, as though someone has kicked it closed with their heel. 

Carmy holds a tray of food up above yours and his sisters head. “Good to see you too, Sug. I’m okay with being chopped liver, it’s fine.”

You hear Pete’s voice from behind you. It echoes a little with the windows open, allowing the cool air to seep in. “It’s that girl bond, am I right?” 

Natalie pulls away and covers her hand with her mouth. Carmy snorts, patting Pete on the back. “Yeah, man. Sure is.”

Then he makes eye contact with his sister. “You know, you could’ve just invited one of us, seeing as all I’m good for is dropping off food.”

Sugar’s socked feet pad across the floor, the squishy spheres of gel sticking and unsticking with each step she takes. Her arms come up around Carmen’s neck and she pulls him into a hug before smacking him on the head. 

“What the fuck, dude?”

Nat gives him an extra squeeze and clears her throat, taking on her worst, but best, male voice. “What the fuck, dude? How could you hit me like that?”

He shoves her away, but you catch how gentle it is, considering she is carrying his niece. “I do not sound like that. And why are you wearing fuckin’ hospital socks around the house?”

“Pete suggested they’d be good while I’m pregnant since I’m so clumsy.”

“They’ve worked pretty well so far,” he chimes in, peeking into one of the trays of food you brought. You go over to him and open it fully, whispering that he can go ahead and eat, if he’s ready. To Pete, if you said it’s alright, it’s like nothing else can touch him. 

“I can get you some, Bear,” you say. “All you gotta do is ask, they’re like a dollar at Walmart.”

“Okay, let’s just eat, alright?” He fusses, though there’s that telltale dimple appearing on his face. He drags a tense hand through his hair. 

“Yes, chef.”

You’re in the first year of your masters program, and when you called Carmy a few weeks ago to tell him the dates for your fall break, you both decided you didn’t feel up to a stereotypical Thanksgiving this time around. Spending a day with Natalie and Pete seemed much more appealing than waiting for an inevitable panic attack from Carm and a full-on fight, political or not, from any given Berzatto or uncle on your mother’s side of the family. 

You’ve spent the past three nights in Carmy’s apartment, but you’re heading back to campus tomorrow morning so that you can focus on submitting your finals and tying up any loose ends. You told him ahead of time that you only planned to stay for a few days, knowing yourself and knowing that the longer you let yourself stay, the harder it would be to head back and finish up the fall semester. 

Besides, it would only be a bit longer until you could settle in with him for winter break. 

Nevertheless, Carmy was grumpy. He was trying to hide it from you because of course your decision was logical, but he is a selfish man. If it was up to him, you’d stay with him every day of the year and let him treat you like a princess. 

Each time you catch him frowning, you remind him that you’ll be coming home to him again in a matter of days. There’s a miniature whiteboard on his refrigerator that you found in the dollar section at Target. It was meant to hang on the wall, but you hot glued little circle magnets on the back four corners. Carmy laughs every time he sees it because he’s splashed something on the fridge door and needs to wipe it clean. You took the lone, failing dry-erase marker from the kitchen drawer and doodled a little calendar on it.

You drew two slightly uneven squares for your countdown. Currently each block has a number, but you know he’ll feel better when the left spot loses any number higher than 0. 

All throughout dinner, Carmy’s hand is at the small of your back, your knee, your bicep, the nape of your neck, resting on your wrist so he can feel your pulse. Like he’s afraid you are about to slip out of his grasp, only to be swept away by the current and never seen again. 

Sugar clears her throat, tucking a chunk of hair behind her ear and wiping her mouth on a paper napkin. “Someone piss in your cornflakes, Carm?”

He blinks over at her, practically jumping at being noticed. You can see his fingertips glistening with sweat under the fluorescent dining room lights. 

You have a forkful of pasta in your mouth, but you begin to chew with haste, shaking your head to try and redirect the conversation. 

You swallow, “It was me, Nat.”

“What?” she asks, voice raising a tinge. “Are you guys having a fight or something? Oh god, should I have said I was sick tonight?”

Pete coughs, his cheeks red as he fights his body’s urge to choke on the food he’s shoving in his mouth to avoid anything slightly awkward. 

The knees of Carmen’s jeans rub together when he sits back further in the dining chair, the sound of the denim, scratchy and rough, communicating his pouty demeanor as he crosses his arms.

“She’s leaving me,” he deadpans.

Forks clatter across plates. “What the fuck, Carm? Are you serious?” He laughs to himself because that vein is protruding from Natalie’s forehead. You elbow him in the ribs. 

You exhale hard enough that Pete feels it on the other side of the table.

“I am not leaving him. He’s pitching a fit because I’m going back to campus tomorrow so that I can focus on finals.”

Natalie’s eyes swing back and forth between the two of you like she’s watching a tennis match. 

“She thinks I’m a distraction,” Carmy says. 

“No duh,” Sugar laughs. “You’re the ultimate distraction. Hell, you’re made of distractions, what with all that unmedicated ADHD.”

“No duh? What are we, five? Y-you think I’m incapable of supporting my girlfriend’s ambitions because I’m some deranged, like fucking—some koala bear?”

Sugar nods once, affirmatively. 

“Yes.”

Carmy scoffs. 

You throw back the rest of your wine and put out a hand like a cop directing traffic would. “Alright, that’s enough. Let’s finish eating, okay? I’ll deal with Carmy’s separation anxiety later tonight.”

He looks at you like he’s been slapped, that crinkle between his brows forming, followed shortly by the appearance of his frown lines. “I do not have separatio—”

“Good garlic bread, huh?” Pete says, crunching loudly. “There fancy butter in this?” 

————

“I can’t believe you think I have separation anxiety!”

“You do have separation anxiety, baby.”

Carmen shrugs off his coat and tosses it at the arm of the couch, but he misses and it slides right off. What a perfect metaphor for his life right now. 

“Just because I’m sad that you’re leaving me?”

“I’m not leaving you, Bear. I’m going to campus so I can ensure I get all my shit done.”

“And you can’t do that here? You already told me you don’t have any in-person finals. You’re submitting everything online, so you don’t have to go back—not really. I must really be a bother, huh?”

He regrets it already, but his petty, pitiful brain quit thinking logically about half an hour ago. 

“Carmen. Anthony. Berzatto.”

He winces. The day Sugar told you his middle name was his last day of peace. He’d had you half-convinced he just didn’t have one because he was the baby and Donna was tired of coming up with names. 

You take his face in your hands, your grip on his cheeks much gentler than the look you’re giving him. 

“Carmen. Listen to me, alright? When I’m here with you, I’m in a state of like, pure bliss. I don’t want to think about my assignments because you make me so content and happy, and you’re so stupidly cute that I just want to look at you all day and I know I won’t be productive because of it.”

Carmy’s eyes flash. His cheek twitches under your thumb where the muscles around his mouth are fighting an involuntary smile. 

His gaze flickers down to your lips when you start grinning as you speak.

“I just want to do really well on my finals, Carm. I’ve worked so hard this semester, and I want to give it my all and finish strong, you know? It’s the fact that I have no self control and would have to pull myself away from you to get work done.”

Carmy blinks at you. “I promise I can keep from distracting you. I’ll even set you up a workspace and bring you lunch or somethin’. So you can do your shit and not be bothered. We could make Richie buy you coffee.”

You laugh. 

“I’m serious,” Carmen continues. “I can be accommodating.”

You take your hands away from his face and step back, setting your fingers against your hips like that’s going to help you think better. He’s already winning you over, but you still want to do all the responsible things. 

There’s a kind of humorous tension in the room. 

Carmy is waiting for you to speak, and you’re trying to pretend like it’s a hard decision to make. If he’s serious about helping you stay focused, there’s no reason you couldn’t just go ahead and stay. 

You inhale, just to make Carmy cringe and brace himself. 

“Baby…if you say you want me to stay, I’ll change my mind.”

“I want you to stay!” Carmy blurts. “Please. I’ll get down on my fuckin’ knees if you really want me to. Stay. I promise I’ll keep out of your hair and help you be productive.” 

You giggle, soft and slow, and it reaches Carmy’s ears, enchanting him like you’re made of some love potion, whatever ingredients you’d need for that sort of thing running through your veins. 

“I’d already pretty much decided on staying right after we left Nat’s.”

Carmy swats you playfully on the hip. “Oh, fuck off! Maybe you should go back, if you’re gonna be so mean to me.” He turns to walk towards the kitchen, glancing at you over his shoulder. 

You move quickly, launching yourself off the floor and landing on his back. He hoists you up, bursts of laughter leaving his throat. 

“You love it when I’m mean to you,” you say, and you press a kiss to the side of his neck, all warm and sickly sweet. 

————

note: none of the gifs or images i use are mine! i get most of my images from pinterest or here, and gifs from about the same. please let me know if i ever don’t credit someone properly!

[beenbaanbuun]

emo!mingi

im writing something big rn but for the time being, i can’t get the fact that mingi is a certified! emo off of my mind… like ever….

it’s all i think about and as an emo/metal girlie myself, i can’t help but think about mingi fucking you to his personal horny emo/metal playlist.

bc i can guarantee he has one. like the man said one of his favourite songs was dance dance by fall out boy??? like i can just imagine him taking the lyrics to that song a little too personally, stripping you bare on his mattress, putting you on your front and kissing down your naked spine. pete wentz was sooo right when he wrote that song… mingi does want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with him…

and i’m sorry, if that man ever listens to death of peace of mind by bad omens??? oh that man would be DONE. FINISHED!! because how is he supposed to hear that song without you popping into his head. memories of him folding you in half as he fucks into you, mascara tears streaming down your face as you cry out for him. chanting his name over and over again like a mantra… it’s like that song was written about you.

and that man has eaten you out one too many times to K.M.B by nova twins… he gets so pussy drunk and just goes dumb between your legs while the music degrades him and calls him out for what he really is. there really isn’t much going on between his eyes once he gets even a hint of your pussy juices. literally turns into a pretty puppy that exists solely for your pleasure, and you’re okay with that…

and i just know that this man goes fucking i n s a n e when he hears the first note of a deftones song. imagine him listening to my own summer (shove it) and just ramming into you. he’d have you pinned down as he almost completely loses himself, thrusting hard and sensual, trying so desperately to hold on to his last thread of sanity. trying so hard not to snap completely and let himself go absolutely feral on you. he wants to, so bad actually, but for the sake of you being able to walk the next day, he holds back… barely.

but like, we also know this man is a giggly baby half the time. like he’s such a princess and i refuse to believe that every single time you have sex with him, he’s completely serious. like imagine he’s trying to be but then the playlist switches songs and it’s a fucking limp bizkit song or something. like it just switches the mood entirely because how is he supposed to fuck you when fred durst is singing rollin’ directly in his ear. like you’re not telling me this man won’t collapse on top of you in a fit of giggles, rigid dick still pressed inside of you as he tries to contain his laughter in your ear. and you just slap his shoulder or something because what the fuck is LIMP BIZKIT doing in his sex playlist?!?!?!?

i’m so sorry, but emo mingi DOES THINGS TO ME!!!!! like it’s all i can think about at any given point in time and i need people to understand that this is my roman empire!!!

[anotherdragon]

you know, I was thinking earlier.

At first I was thinking about how desensitized the residents of Hatchetfield are to death and dissapearances. Grace said it herself: "This is Hatchetfield. People Go missing every day!" And you see it, too: how Max going missing and Richies death almost seems like an afterthought; and its played off as a joke, as 'oh haha look they care more about some football game than a kid going missing' but it really gets sadder if you think about it? Like imagine knowing that any day you or a family member or one of your closest friends could go missing at any time, and just needing to...except that. And it would explain Pete's admittedly little to no reaction to Richie and Ruth's deaths, while he still might be upset over it, he came to terms with that possibility years ago. everyone did. always at the back of each residents mind, that today it was a stranger, a name you wouldn't even remember an hour from now, but tomorow? It could be you. It could be someone you love.

And then i got thinking a bit more: we see a lot of shit like this throughout Hatchetfield (while its probably for the sake of keeping the episodes seperate, im pretty sure nmt2 all takes place in the same timeline, and like. Thirty people are mentioned to have died in Killer Track??? The honey queens go missing every year[well, leave town the day they went missing and never contact anyone in hatchetfield ever again but you have to admit thats suspicious] People just. going missing at Abstinence Camp and no one looking into it???) but all that aside. What I cant wrap my head around is 'Hatchet Town'. the entire song is about the citizens of hatchetfield getting paranoid and pointing fingers and in general getting aggressive over the murder of two teens. But??? 'By Best Of You' everyones just. stopped caring. Shapiro can be explained away a bit by her seeing Max, but with the killing of three teenagers, the mayors secretary and the 'disappearance' of the mayor any normal school would probably. Cancel homecoming. (I could probably also go into a whole thing about how the specific way richie was killed and the MESSAGE WRITTEN IN HIS BLOOD point towards the killer being a student. which you would really think would lead to the canceling of an event like this). And they just??? Decide to still hold the event??? (which is even funnier knowing that ANOTHER STUDENT GETS KILLED AT HOMECOMING)

So uh. Not even sure what the point of this post is anymore. I refuted my own post and then refuted that. Now im just confused. What The Fuck Is Going On In Hatchetfield. Why did all the residents of hatchetfield fucking swing to the other extreme for three minutes and fourty seconds. huh.

[thislovintime]

Remembering David Jones, and sending thoughts to his family and friends.

(Footage in this edit from the Blu-ray set, Getty Images, Australian TV, Extra, the 1990s documentary; audio 1 from Peter's 1999 interview with GOLD 104.5.)

“Genuine, reliable and huggable, Peter is a natural person — really gets off on talent — loves other musicians and can jam along with the best of ‘em. I saw him holding his own with Hendrix, Stills, Young. He encouraged me no end. Bought me my first guitar and my first drum kit. […] He used to walk with a swagger, swinging his arms with a confident air. He calmed hysteria, and lifted depression. ‘Dried banana, anybody? Piece of orange?’ — smiling, waving, running his hands through his hair. He knew all the crew by their first names. Kids crying at his feet he lifted and hugged like a father calming a child. […] He’s the most musically talented of us all by a mile. His songs are real. ‘For Pete’s Sake’ — which replaced the Monkees Theme at the end of some of the shows of the second season — is one of my all-time favorite songs by anybody. I’ve joked a lot about Peter giving everything away. But it was true. He was always giving his spare room to someone who needed it for the night — anyone. And he always seemed far away somewhere — in a different space. But I’m glad I know him. Of all the things he gave me, he gave me lots of laughs — and food for thought.” - Davy Jones, They Made A Monkee Out Of Me (1988) “I enjoyed [Micky] the most, respected Mike the most, and loved Davy the most.” - Peter Tork, Hartford Courant, February 26, 1982 “Davy adored performing, and adored meeting and greeting his fans. He was tireless in making himself available to sing a song, do a dance, shake a hand; whatever was asked. I had heart-to-heart moments with him that were among the best in my life. I was blessed to know and work closely with him. He was one in about 6 billion, give or take. We won’t see his like again. He left much too soon. I share your sadness. Thank you again for this chance to contribute. God bless and keep you all.” - Peter Tork in a note for a Pennsylvania memorial event for Davy, also shared via Peter’s official Facebook page, 2012 Peter Tork: “He was a master of many aspects of this kind of thing [entertaining], and, you know, and we had some very wonderful personal connections, and I’m really sad to see all that gone.” Q: “He just seemed to be a fun guy. I know he loved horses.” PT: “Sure did.” Q: “And obviously loved Peter.” PT: “Sure did. Loved him.” - 94.5 FM (Phoenix), 2013 “[Micky] and Mike and I have a very cordial relationship and share a lot of common topics. We go to lunch together when we’re all in town and have a good time. I love and respect each of these guys in their own way, although the real joys that I shared with Davy were special. At one point we had some good hard connections but as the years rolled on, those things faded away. But I am sorry to see Davy go. He was the one member in the group that I had the strongest human connection with. I still have two guys that I love and respect left from the band, but we share a different dynamic.” - Peter Tork, Review Mag, May 27, 2016

[dulcewrites]

White Christmas

Pairing: Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd x wife!reader (a spy/The Americans au)

Summary: Bob has never been one to reminisce - his job keeps him ever-moving forward. But the holidays calls for reflection. (Wc: 1k +)

Warning: this came out more angsty than I thought :/

A/N: First, just want to say Happy Holidays and or Merry Christmas to those that celebrate. I wanted to get this out a bit earlier but life was life-ing lmao. This is my submission for @lewmagoo’s a lew magoo Christmas. I can’t wait to go back and read/interact everyone’s submissions. This is based off the song by Bing Crosby. This was not the original idea I had; this is much more melancholy but I think it came out well. I could not decide if I wanted to do a fic or moodboard so I kind of put them together. Please like, reblog, and or comment if you read something you enjoy ❤️❄️

Masterlist

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

With every Christmas card I write

May your days be merry and bright

And may all your Christmases be white

Bob has been able to mark his life through events. Not exactly just with time or his age. Instead through a series of actions and domino effects that have set his life up to where it is now. He does not remember being 10, he just remembers the little house he was taken from. He doesn’t remember being 16, just the cold, smooth metal of his first revolver. His 26th birthday, with the real day he was born, was uneventful and terribly dull.

… that was until he got the envelope.

A face. A name. A never-ending mission. A wife to be.

27 was marked by a quick wedding. 28 was cemented by a crying baby girl and the sickly-sweet smell of baby wipes he grew to love. By 30, he saw his first gray hair and one little girl turned into two. Now he wonders what he can hang 37 on. He doesn't want it to be the bodies that have been left behind or 'daddy's business trips' as Georgia says.

Bob wants more. For once he wants something different. Something softer.

An idealist with the bloody ledger of a cynic, you call him. It is always with a smile but the biting edge that your voice can have never fully leaves. Bob thinks you resent that about him while likes to believe that it is a good thing - the little tug in the bottom of his stomach that he gets. Bob does his job, and he has done it valiantly for. Some days he may say he even loves what he does. But with his love comes a soft layer of sadness. It comes with wondering if there could be more outside of kills and mission and the bullshit, he would not have chosen for himself as a child. When things were syrupy in the way everything is when you're a kid.

The wistfulness grows stronger as the weather changes, and a dusty of white magic settles over the ground. The first winter snow he can remember in a long time.

The cabin idea comes with apprehension from you. Christmas was a holiday the two of you grinned and bared for the sake of the girls, but Bob found the words slipping out of his mouth. His fingers already inched looking into places - a little blue house in the snow. He knows that face well. Brows drawn tight and mouth pursed in thought.

“Emmie mentioned wanting to go camping.”

It was a bit unfair to mention your youngest daughter, Emerson. The frown lines on your face softened a bit, followed by a resigned sigh. There was little that made you like that - malleable. He knows you would never say it out loud but only the girls could do that.

I’ll have to talk with Maverick about it. He may need us.

Then it was his turn to frown. The growing dissolution bubbled under, and it all started with Pete Mitchell. But how does one turn his back on the only real family he has known. Bob cannot say he knows Regina and Don, - the people he should think to be parents; instead, thinks he was made in Mav’s image. Just like every other agent that has come through Top Gun. Your loyalty to Mav in admirable as it is a thorn in Bob’s side.

He likes to say there is three in your relationship if he could even call it that.

But he takes what he can get from you. A knowing smile when Aria says something completely out of left field. A kiss where you don’t flinch away or tense up.

It all works together in the oxymoron that is his marriage with you. Husband and wife. Partners in crime. He loathes you as much as he couldn’t imagine doing this without you. He endlessly pines for a woman he has two children with.

Nothing has ever been easy for the two of you, and he supposes he would not have it any other way.

———

“I don’t know your real name.”

The general statement made you pause as your looked away from the fireplace in front of you. Bob was sitting on the bed, the green reindeer slippers the girls gave him matched his pullover. While him and girls seem to thrive in the cold, you hated it. You liked the uncomfortableness that came with humidity and heat. You were used to beads of sweat above the brow and clothes sticking to you back. Uneasiness was your default setting.

A snow-covered cabin is beautiful in theory, tortuous in practice.

“What,” you muttered, gaze going back to the fire. The flames danced against the brick surrounding it. The name thing was an issue he pressed. For reasons you still don’t get.

“I don’t know your real name,” he repeats. “And you don’t know mine. You don’t know anything about me before we…”

He trails off contemplatively. You shrug softly. “I think Robert suits you fine. Perfectly, even.”

There was a beat of silence. You wanted to tell him it was better this way. Life has been separated into two different parts: BB and AB. Before Bob and After Bob. It was no use focusing on what happened before then. You hope he drops the conversation, but Bob has never been one to let things go. A dog with a bone.

“Do you know why I suggested coming here?”

“You enjoy watching me freeze,” it was a joke but there is little mirth in the room.

“I grew up in a little blue cabin, sort of like this one -,”

“Bob”

“In a small town in Illinois.”

“Bob,” you hate him for this… or at least you want to hate him for this. Hate him for trying so damn hard.

“Every winter, I remember sheets of snow on ground and - and my ma-,”

“Robert,” your voice echoes a bit off the room. You fully turn to him, wishing to have bit of venom in your voice but it comes out broken. “What do you want from this? From me?”

“Why does it have to be something? Why can’t I just want you, all of you?”

Penny warned you about this. She’s taught you everything you know. And for better or worse, it has led you done a straight and narrow path.

Even in our business, people grow… attached. It will be up to you to either let them in or close it before it gets to be too much.

You wouldn’t call yourself frigid, but you are sure others would. It never bothered you really. Not as you grew older. There was a weakness in others that you simply did not have. The coldness was an easy barrier that deterred most, if not everyone you came across.

“You have me,” your fingernail scrapes across the wool blanket wrapped around you. “I am right here, aren’t I?”

Cobalt eyes mute with sadness.

“That isn’t what I meant.”

You grow more exasperated. “And you think me telling you about my past life will do that?”

“No, but I think you being honest would. Honest about how you feel about me, about the girls, would.”

Does he want you to write on a piece of paper if he loves you and make him check yes or no like you’re in the fifth grade. There was something so innocent about the look he gave you. The stunted nature of how the two of you work around each other may be less of your faults and more of the world that failed the both of you. You look at Bob now and he doesn’t seem like the man you have seen dodging bullets or choking out men twice his size. He seems so utterly human. And despite yourself, all you can think about is how much Maverick would hate it. The spurred want others to think the same.

You do love the girls, frankly more that you would like to admit. Two little knives to which people can twist. And Robert…

People get hurt, killed, when feelings are involved.

let them in or close it.

“I am tired,” you mutter. “I really don’t feel like rehashing the past. Certainly not with you.”

It is the end of the discussion, and you try not to flinch when the door closes behind him. The silence had become a gentle friend of yours. A safe companion to embrace. You wait for him to come back, thinking he must be letting off some steam outside in the cold. But 30 minutes turns into an hour and you start to think he may have crashed in one of the other rooms in the cabin.

After numbingly sitting at the fireplace, the only thing you can think to do is get ready for bed. You crave a bottle of wine but agreed to a painfully dry Christmas.

Your fingers don’t go towards the drawers where you unpacked the plethora of long Johns and sweaters you brought; they go to Bob’s instead. You know he’d probably laugh at you if he could see it, and you’d deserve it. Can’t even admit your feelings but want to sleep in one his shirts. While digging for an old Led Zeppelin shirt. Your digging is thwarted when your hand grazes across a chest inside the drawer. Biting your lip, you look towards the door. Bad things come in threes. He’s already upset you; you’re digging in his stuff… might at well get your third strike.

A familiar sinking feeling muddled in your stomach as you lift the chest to see tinier ring box in it, along with a mini snow globe. You both promised no presents this year for Christmas, but of course he wouldn’t stick to that. Your gaze goes to the simple ring on your left hand. It wasn’t something either of you picked out. It was left in the envelope you received.

“You should be happy you even get one off the bat,” Natasha sighed. “Jake gave me a ring pop as joke before Mav stepped in.”

You don’t have it in you to open the ring box, a bile stuck in your throat. But you do pick up the mini snow globe. It is like nothing you have seen before; it looks homemade. Inside a little blue cabin with sparkles dusted around it. On the bottom, tiny writing painted on. Chicken scratch that could only come from kids.

To the best wife and mommy in the world. May all your Christmases be merry and bright.

You set the snow globe back in the chest hastily, as if you have been burned.

God you’re fucked.

[rpfofficial]

do you ever think about the fact that peter didn't give that song a title and then when it was released he found out mike had sent it with the title "for petes sake" like do you ever think about that. How that might have made peter feel. what mikes thought process might have been. the slightly affectionate exasperation. the insidiousness of titling peters song behind his back but paying tribute to him by putting his name right on the song. "we were born to love one another for petes sake" love each other for petes sake. For petes sake. why can't the monkees be normal jesus christ

[temfling]

Chaos Clash Tourney character.

There name is Orchestral… or something like that. There lore is they used to be a conductor for the best orchestra in toriels classrooms dark world, but one day they heard the strangest tune… something they became obsessed with. This melody was almost impossible, he would work his orchestra to the max, trying to play it just right. all of them quitting one by one until the only one left was his sister. In the end, during the great infection, no one cared for music or entertainment, a plaque had came over the land for Pete’s sake! So he was drove out of business, his mind slowly going insane from the melody.

His attacks are being able to put your party asleep for a bit with his songs, and he would use the purple soul mode and you would have to dodge notes. I based him off a stuffed rabbit plush who played music on his toes from my cousins house. Which is also what he is in the light world lol

[veliseraptor]

flying across the country later this week so as usual it's time for a 150 WORDS MEME!!! send me a number (or up to three) and I'll write 150 words in that wip. annnnd go, excerpts under the cut (and you can find summaries for the fics here)

1. “I didn’t ask this of you!” Xingchen said. “That you would - sully your hands with demonic cultivation, bring back the person you hate most in the world, for my sake–” 

“You never got that you were the only one who really mattered, Daozhang,” said an all-too familiar voice behind him. Song Lan’s entire body seized up and he twisted around to see Xue Yang perched on the windowsill, his eyes fixed on Xingchen like there was nobody else in the room – in the world, maybe. Song Lan’s blood turned to ice. Xingchen’s mouth opened, his head lifting, but Song Lan couldn’t decipher the expression on his face.

“Xue Yang,” he said, his voice a trembling whisper. Xue Yang’s face broke into a smile, his eyes feverishly bright.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s me.” (Life After Death)

2. “So,” he said, and then realized he didn’t really know what to say next. Xue Yang watched him with a look of wide-eyed innocence that said he knew Xiao Xingchen was struggling and wasn’t going to help him. A spark of annoyance had Xiao Xingchen pressing his lips together.

“So what do you do when you’re not…”

“Getting scraped off the road by nice boys?” Xue Yang said with a crooked smile, and Xiao Xingchen’s face heated up a little.

“I assume that’s not how you spend most of your time.”

“Not usually, no,” Xue Yang said. “Maybe I should try it more often, though.” (Redux)

3. By the time they pulled up to the house Pete and Macau had apparently picked out, Vegas was exhausted, despite the fact that all he’d done was sit in a car for a half an hour. That was bad enough, but then the walk up a short flight of stairs to the front door left him out of breath and a little dizzy. He ended up leaning on Pete, the burning in his chest not just from what apparently counted as exertion now. 

“Fuck,” he said under his breath. “Fuck. Are you fucking kidding me?”

“It’s okay,” Pete said soothingly. “The doctor said you’d get tired–”

“I know what the doctor fucking said,” Vegas snapped at him. “I didn’t think that meant ten stairs would be a problem.” His heart was beating very hard. What was he supposed to do? If riding in a car and a few stairs wiped him out like this–

Useless. Worthless. Pathetic. (post-canon vegaspete long(er) fic)

4. “Pete said the shootout happened around noon,” Vegas said. “By the time you told me, it’d been hours.” 

Porsche wasn’t very good at hiding his emotions, so his discomfort was obvious. “Well,” he said, “there was a lot going on, and–” 

“Don’t bullshit me, Porsche,” Vegas growled, interrupting. “You held off telling me what happened on purpose. Was that your idea or somebody else’s?” 

The fact that Porsche didn’t look happy just made Vegas angrier right now. If he at least had the grace to be smug and shitty about it then that would be something Vegas knew how to take, and how to deal with. (Undercut)

5. He realized that for all Xue Yang’s vicious words, he had never spoken in any detail of that time. There was his mention of a garden, his assertion that Xingchen had been happy, and that one brief goading allusion to a relationship that he didn’t want to acknowledge. Other than that…nothing. It would, he thought, be an easy weapon for Xue Yang to use against him, to rub Song Lan’s face in the knowledge of their – friendship, however false it had been. 

And yet there was silence there. That’s not yours, Xue Yang said, like memories were something he could hoard, possess, like a stolen sword or – or a piece of candy. (Walking Far From Home)

6. Nai had a strange look on his face, vaguely distressed but also like he was thinking very hard. “What was his name?”

Wolfwood opened his mouth on a lie but found himself saying, “Vash.” He filled his lungs with smoke and held his breath for a little while before letting it out, watching Nai closely. His expression looked like he was trying to remember something, and a chill went down Wolfwood’s spine. What happened if the old Knives suddenly just…woke up, like this, got all his memories back and…what would he do? What would he be able to do? 

But then Nai shook himself and squeezed his eyes closed. “Vash,” he said again, out loud. “And you’re Nicholas D. Wolfwood.” The way he said it was so careful and serious that it was hard not to crack a grin. This was all still too weird to actually follow through with it, though.

“Wolfwood works,” he said. 

“Why not Nicholas?” Nai asked, apparently genuinely curious. “Doesn’t sound as cool,” Wolfwood said, improvising instead of saying well for one thing it’d be really fucking weird for you specifically to call me that. If baby Knives got to calling him Nico that’d be it. (The Second Coming)

7. “Pain makes you snide,” Gabriel said. “But I would rather you not strain yourself anyways, my dear.” There was a towel over his arm and he carried a bowl and a pitcher of water. “Are you hungry?” 

Lymond’s eyes tracked his every movement, a falcon observing an eagle. “That depends. What price sustenance?” 

“No price,” Gabriel said. “And I shall take that for answer.” He shook his golden head. “I wish you would not insist on thinking so poorly of me when I simply seek to care for you in your time of need.” 

“Simply that,” Lymond said. “I see. And should I decline your gracious offer?” 

“I fear I cannot oblige,” Gabriel said. “How could I permit your self-destruction when I can prevent it?” 

“Quite easily, I should think,” Lymond said. (et ipsi sunt jacula)

8. “A month,” Xue Yang said. “You’ve got a month to impress me. I’ll leave your baby brother alone and you get to see him, once, before that time’s up. And you tell me everything. If I think you’re holding anything back I’ll have a fierce corpse tear you apart. Maybe it’ll even be your a-Ning.” His grin was full of teeth. “And if it works out then maybe we can keep it going. How’s that, Wen-daifu?”

“I don’t imagine I’m going to get anything better,” she said flatly.

“You won’t.” Xue Yang cracked his neck to one side and stretched his arms overhead. “All right, then. So what d’you have for me?”

Wen Qing kept herself from exhaling in relief. A terrible relief: it was a poisoned bargain, a pathetic shield, and right now all she had. Maybe by then…maybe by then things would be different. Jin Guangyao had said…

She couldn’t trust anyone’s word. Not here. 

Except, funnily enough, she thought she could trust Xue Yang’s. Whatever else he was, there was a strange kind of honesty in him. She didn’t doubt he could kill her without blinking and never think twice about it. But she thought he’d keep his promises. (fall apart, destroy, release)

9. Liu Mingyan was a problem. 

If she had to be fair (though Sha Hualing was not generally interested in being fair), she was less annoying than her brother, but that was setting a remarkably high bar, and she was more annoying to Sha Hualing specifically. As far as Sha Hualing could tell, Mingyan-guniang had made it her business to interfere with Sha Hualing’s business at every possible opportunity. Sometimes it seemed like she couldn’t turn around in the Human Realm without running into her, even when Sha Hualing wasn’t doing anything wrong. Or hadn’t done anything yet, anyway. 

Or at least hadn’t done anything Liu Mingyan could possibly know about. (under pressure)

10. “Don’t suppose you’d take these off now,” Xue Yang said, holding out his arms. “Seeing as we’ve got a common enemy.”

“No,” Song Lan said flatly. Xue Yang turned his eyes hopefully on Xiao Xingchen, who seemed like he might be a softer touch, but he seemed to be busy cleaning out the shallow wound that’d sliced open Song Lan’s left arm. Xue Yang suppressed his prickle of annoyance and held onto his smile.

“Really? I’m not your biggest problem anymore, Song-daozhang.”

“You’re still a problem,” Song Lan said. Xiao Xingchen raised his eyes briefly from Song Lan’s arm to his face, and then glanced toward Xue Yang. Xue Yang held in the urge to show his teeth, but Xiao Xingchen just turned his eyes back to the wound he was tending anyway. “Freeing you would make you a worse one. Turning the wolf loose when there’s a tiger hunting doesn’t give the hare a better chance.”

“Does that make you two rabbits?” Xue Yang said. (strangers once united)

11. “Why won’t it work, you mean?” Xue Yang said, and laughed. “I can’t tell you all my secrets, Zichen.” 

Don’t call me that, Song Lan almost wrote, but he stopped himself. There was almost certainly no better way to ensure that Xue Yang called him nothing else. Instead he wrote, I would expect you to want to brag.

“Ha,” Xue Yang said. “What would be the point? It’s not like you’d be impressed. And you already know how good I am. Was.” His smile fell away a little, momentarily, and for a split second Song Lan saw him as he’d truly been when he died, hollowed out and exhausted, bloody and beaten even before Song Lan slid Fuxue between his ribs. “You are how good I was. My greatest creation. Even more than the Yin Tiger Seal. I just remade that, after all, but you were all mine.” 

Song Lan couldn’t actually vomit but the nausea was still overpowering. He gritted his teeth, controlling himself through the waves of hatred and disgust that rolled through him. (the poison in your bones)

12. “What is it?” Anders asked. “You’re upset.” 

Fenris bit his tongue on his first response and instead said, “I think you can agree that it hasn’t been a particularly good day.”

“Oh,” Anders said. “Yeah. I guess that’s true.” He paused. “Wait. Where’d all the Templars go?”

“To the Maker’s embrace, I suppose,” Fenris said. 

“They’re dead?” Pause, then, sounding a little disconcerted, “did I kill them?” 

“No, mage,” Fenris said, his patience running even shorter. “I killed them. Now shut up.”  If Anders were just a little shorter he would throw him over his shoulder. If he wanted to risk a brain injury that would incapacitate him even longer Fenris would knock him unconscious. Unfortunately, neither option was viable. 

“Oh,” Anders said. But thankfully, for once, he listened.

Or, as it turned out when Fenris turned his head to look at him, he’d just passed out again. (the best all lack conviction)

[martianbugsbunny]

Martian’s Masterlist!

Figured it was about time I collected all of my fics into one area, will ofc be updating it as I write more. It’s sorted by ship, including wherefrom they originate, with a brief description of what type (one-shot, chapter fic, same-universe if I’m feeling saucy) and a short summary of what happens. V proud of myself for figuring out how to link these tbh, but if any of the links isn’t working for the love of Pete please let me know. Fics with more than one chapter will be linked to the first chapter because...logic.

For the tags, I have chosen to only use the ship names, not __ x __ format, for the sake of trying to keep the tags somewhat in hand. I have, however, tried to use what I’m aware of being the most popular/common names for ships, as well as the alternate ones I’ve seen for more niche stuff. Also tagged are the shipped characters. If I add new ships, I'll have to reblog bc of the tag limit.

*Hands you the rabbit hole* Have fun going down!

The Bad Batch {Star Wars: The Bad Batch}:

He Waits By The Riverside: One-shot. This one is different because it’s not really a ship fic, which is unusual for me; it’s more Tech-centric. Based on the song He Waits, By The Riverside from the show Renegade Nell, using the lyrics to explore the moment Tech crosses over into the afterlife and begins his wait for his family.

CaptainCroc/GoldenHook (Rumplestiltskin x Killian Jones {Once Upon A Time}):

Is This Love Persevering? (It Feels More Like The End of the World): One-shot. Established CaptainCroc mourning the loss of Baelfire. Canon-divergent for the sake of Rumple actually getting to attend his son’s funeral.

Who Makes You See Color: Chapter fic, 14 total. CaptainCroc soulmates AU where one person sees color earlier than the other. Extends from pre-Dark One era to the First Curse being broken.

The Truth Echoes Darkly: Short series; part 1 for The Truth Echoes Darkly. Echo Caves AU where instead of Emma, Hook confesses that he loves Rumple for maximum awkward.

The Echo Goes On: Short series; part 2 for The Truth Echoes Darkly. Back in Storybrooke, Rumple finds himself obsessed with Hook and realizes that he’s fallen in love as well.

My North Star: One-shot. Established CaptainCroc vow renewal, featuring Hook’s inner thoughts about how much he loves Rumple.

Better Than Blood: One-shot. Pretty racy, but the point is thinking about the poeticism of having sex with your ex-nemesis.

Cherik (Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr {X-Men Movies}):

Sweetheart Will You Sleep With Me: One-shot. The night before they fight Shaw, Charles and Erik make the most of the little time they know they have left together and sleep in Charles’ room. Fluff, don’t get too excited by the title lol.

Baby While You’re At It: One-shot. Based on a Jessie Murph song. Angst with a happy ending. Charles is furious when Erik crashes a party at the school, so they have it out in the kitchen and get more-or-less back together by the end.

Espionage Husbands (Talos x Nick Fury {Captain Marvel/Secret Invasion}):

Locked In This Embrace: One-shot. Focuses on the forehead-touching scene from Episode 1, plus an original scene or two afterwards. Mostly Talos pining for Nick with a happy ending.

If You Are Gilgamesh And Did These Things: One-shot. Angst without a happy ending because the author was very upset and sad when Talos died. Nick is grieving Talos; Sonya isn’t helping.

Frankenwolf (Ruby Lucas x Victor Frankenstein {Once Upon A Time}):

Den of Blankets: One-shot. Ruby’s wolf instincts kick in during pregnancy and she builds a blanket-fort den. V fluff.

She Deserves To Have Your Name: One-shot (possibly same-universe as Den of Blankets). Victor has doubts about whether or not their child should have the name Frankenstein, but Ruby wouldn’t hear of anything else.

It’s Just A Dream: One-shot. Ruby has a nightmare spawned from her fears of being a bad parent; Victor comforts her.

As The Storm Blows Through: One-shot. Victor has anxiety during a storm because of what happened with Gerhardt, and Ruby comforts him.

Secret Admirers Are For The Subtle: One-shot. Victor anonymously sends Ruby flowers at the diner so he can drop by, “notice” them, and stick around to sketch them, all so he can spend time with Ruby. She’s on to him the entire time.

Blue Skies Smiling At Me: One-shot. Utterly fluffy beach fic. Ruby is having a good day relaxing with her friends, and it only gets better when her handsome husband joins them.

Frankenberry And The Fruit Brute: One-shot. Fun little Halloween fic where Ruby and Victor discover the General Mills cereals that match their fairytale identities.

Precursor To A Love Song: One-shot. Hyperion Heights AU where Ruby and Victor meet and feel an instant connection, even though they don’t know why. She’s a fashion designer and he’s a piano player/freelance artist. Potential springboard for a full chapter fic if I feel like it.

Georry (George Hazard x Orry Main {North and South}):

Stay By The Fire And Love Me: One-shot. The barn scene but Orry decides to stay and he and George bed down together for the night. Kind of a character study/relationship study.

HatterHare (Mad Hatter x March Hare {Adventures In Wonderland}):

The First Kiss: One-shot. Just a fluffy lil idea about what their first kiss might’ve been like.

Every Bit Of You: One-shot. Projection’n’stuff about food issues basically.

Kalluzeb (Garazeb Orrelios x Alexsandr Kallus {Star Wars Rebels}):

Don’t You Know It’s Because He Loves You?: One-shot. Kallus discovers that Zeb is in love with him via a Lasat Honor Guard tradition.

To Convince You That I Love You: Chapter fic. Kallus does risky things to prove he would do anything for love of Zeb, or that he’s worthy of him, and ends up getting hurt. Angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort.

Hour One: One-shot. The rite-of-passage post-Zero Hour fic!!! You know what’s in here and you know you want to read it! Basically just good old hurt/comfort.

Lokius (Loki x Mobius {Loki}):

The Man Of My Dreams And He’s Just Out Of Reach: One-shot (with a very long name lol). Mobius stands there across the street from Don’s house and misses Loki. Author was having some Feelings™.

Outlaw Queen (Regina Mills x Robin Hood {Once Upon A Time}):

A Slice Of Life: One-shot. Regina spends the day with her boys and thinks about how awesome it is to have them. V fluffy because the OQ family didn’t get enough of that.

Paxe/AxePaz (Paz Vizsla x Axe Woves {The Mandalorian}):

We Are Mandalorians: Our Love Must Be Forged: Chapter fic, 11 total. Axe and Paz slowly fall in love as they engage in the battle to retake Mandalore, more or less a fix-it for Paz dying in S3 canon.

PloKit (Plo Koon x Kit Fisto {Star Wars: the Clone Wars}):

Reader, Plo Married Him: One-shot. Plo and Kit share some quiet time just after their wedding.

The Tender Daily Ritual: One-shot. Basically just fluff; Kit helps Plo with lotioning his skin because it dries out in oxygen atmospheres.

Scogan (Scott Summers x Logan Howlett {X-Men Movies}):

Torn Between Love And Fear: One-shot. Scott wants to stay after sex and sleep in Logan’s room, but Logan is terrified of hurting him during a nightmare. Angst with a happy (and sort of spicy) ending.

You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours: One-shot. Logan and Scott discover they have a mutual pain kink and indulge in it together for the first time. Incredibly spicy, I'm so proud of myself.

Guilt (It’s Gonna Last Forever): One-shot. Intended to be in the same universe as Torn Between Love And Fear. Logan has a nightmare and accidentally stabs Scott, making his worst fear a reality. No resolution for whether or not Scott lives.

Spones (Spock x Dr. McCoy {Star Trek TOS}):

I Could Drink A Case Of You (I Would Still Be On My Feet): One-shot. Based on a Joni Mitchell song; angsty with a happy ending.

[cyarsk5230]

I could just imagine how the conversation went down

“Oh we’re glad you on this broadcast today to perform your song. However there’s that part where you say the f word seventeen times and we would have loved for you to censor the lyrics please “

And then when they did not do that (I mean it’s rage against the machine for pete sake) they were like “oh my god they didn’t do what they told us to do, shut this down, apologize to the audience”

When you tell a band called “Rage against the machine” that the government censors won’t let you sing the song lyrics “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me”, and they literally do both what their bands name is and what the song lyrics say, can you even be surprised?🤔

[weirdbabe]

Way back, i was one of those who judged kpop and their fans. it was during my elementary years. honestly, i tried to join my friends but i just couldn't understand their 'weirdness', the term i used to label kpop fans.

I remember when i was in fifth grade it was the year EXO rose to popularity. every girl i knew in school were talking about them and fighting over their ultimate bias. i heard Luhan and Baekhyun's name over and over at that time. I even chose Luhan as my bias even if i didn't have any idea abt him including his face. i just wanted to join the trend but then I realized kpop was not for me.

Then, came seventh grade and blackpink rose to popularity. girls in my class were dancing to their music and i just found myself enjoying their music as well. still, i saw the rest of kpop and their fans as 'weirdos'... i just appreciated blackpink and lisa and rosé and jennie and jisoo and Kdramas. That was it.

2017, i watched scarlet heart. loved it but didn't recognize exo's baekhyun. i thought he was just an actor who is cute and funny.

2018, my bff introduced me to exo's kai. she said he was the hottest idol so far in her eyes. i just nodded and agreed with her because that was so true of her.

2019, heard about another exo comeback but didn't mind. i had other things to worry.

2020, the pandemic happened. my aunt watched this drama entitled Memories of Alhambra. EXO's Chanyeol was Shin hye's brother. I honestly went through with the drama because I found chanyeol interstingg. But here is the thing, i had no idea he was an idol and that he was chanyeol. i didn't know he was an exo member—the group that was really famous during my elementary and highschool years. I didn't know. i didn't know that was the day i'd start my exo-l journey.

so, chanyeol. I wanted to see his full face. I was curious because he looked really cute and handsome with glasses and bangs. I just thought he must be really handsome without those bangs and glasses covering his face. as a sucker for handsome men, i did what i do best.

i clicked the google app. searched for 'Memories of Alhambra cast'. Saw CHANYEOL and clicked his profile. I was taken back. literally, taken a back. i clicked on the images. no way, he is indeed good looking for pete's sake. i clicked on his wikipedia photo and it led me to his detailed profile. WAIT? AN EXO MEMBER? ok, interesting... i didn't know they can act.

i don't know why but i just got myself watching videos of chanyeol on youtube. i even followed his instagram account and exo's ig acct as well. i stalked the guy and exo's feed. handsome. they are all handsome. but, chanyeol? he was the apple of my eye.

so, youtube fed me with chanyeol videos. he is a funny and talented guy. but what made me like him the most was the fact that he can play instruments. i appreciated the piano because of him and up until now i still do (literally made me a yiruma fan and made me bought a piano).

so from chanyeol videos, i don't know but i eventually found myself watching exo videos. yn the yt algorithm.

now, exo. i loved their dynamics. there is something abt their relationship that is very true and pure. something unexplainable. something that is only between them. and i liked that.

i just slowly learned to love the boys. they helped me laugh when the pandemic made me sad. they made things bearable for me. so bearable that if it weren't for them i guess i would have never made it through my bad days. really bad ones.

however, i was still the same fifth grader who judged kpop music unless it was blackpinks music and bts' dynamite and butter. i never dared to listen to exo's music aside from their love shot song, the hottest ever.

but things happen. the stars connected me to their music. i was watching exo videos on yt while washing the dishes. the video was over and it played exo's love shot stage on music bank(?). i couldn't stop it from playing because my hands were full. i was glad that happened... dude?!! that stage was crazy. kai was crazy. everyone was. their vocals?? oh god. chen's high note? i was hooked.

that stage was what i replayed for days. then i decided to listen to tempo with my earphones. GUESS WHAT? I FELL INLOVE. harmonization. vocals. god what did i just hear?? they can sing SING.

and that was it. i got hooked to their music (title tracks atm). i watched reaction videos and saw that i was really right abt their great vocals.

then this guy. there is this guy. i kept on noticing him. not only bcoz of his looks but because of his voice. he was doh kyungsoo. there was something abt him that is attractive that he does not force and that was how chanyeol bid goodbye as my ultimate bias. 😭🫶

i became a kyungsoo fan thru yt videos. from his song covers up to his films. in fact, 100 days my prince was the least expected drama i thought i would watch. it was crazy good and funny. he was just built different. a really great one indeed.

july 2021, i discovered stan twtr. i had always been a youtube-l. i regretted being late because i never had the chance to join kyungsoo's vlive after his discharge from the military. but still i was ok since july was the month the exo's decided to drop dftf. I JOINED THE HYPE AND I WAS SO EXCITED. i became their fan evenmore but i didn't label myself as an exo-l yet because i didn't know we were called that HAHAHAHA

since then, i was there. from dftf to kyungsoo's first album, kai's peaches, suho's grey suit, xiumin's brand new, kai's rover, to all the activities of the members. my day was not complete if i missed a single update.

i was there when the members started to come back from the military. i was there during their sm concert. i was there during their group performances. i was there but only online HAHAHAHA

and now, issues... i was trained by senior-ls already and so it is not surprising. I JUST WANT TO END THIS ALREADY KAY GRABE ONE BOOK SIGURO IF MAGPADAYON PAKO AHHAHAHAHA BASTA I LOVE EXO SO MUCH, NO ONE CAN BEAT THEM

yes, i have been a fan of exo for 3 years now and i have never been this invested to a kpop group. they were not the ones who introduced me to kpop but they are the reason why i stayed.

i treat them as my soulmates... i met them at the right time... i cannot imagine leaving... i will always stand by their side no matter what happens eyyyyy

[catch-me-hello]

Shining SOLO, Episode 4: Sports. Meat. Good.

Back in the intro, I mentioned I love the song “Only One” by former TREASURE member Bang Yedam. While I was watching today’s episode, he dropped another great single called “O-he” (“misunderstandings”). Watching the video, I had to wonder if he watched this show when it aired and what he would think of it. He’s recorded a song with Winter, of the girl group aespa, so I’m pretty sure he has no trouble talking to women. I like to imagine him watching this show and thinking, “My God, were they ALWAYS like this?!”

Winter and Bang Yedam

Here's where we left Yedam’s former bandmates in the last episode:

Haruto had turned Joker-level mad.

Asahi was forming a connection with Ji Yeon, who had left him a voice recorder.

So Won tried to lie about leaving Haruto a voice recorder.

Jihoon was clicking with nursing vlogger Ju Hee, the first woman to enter the house with a name.

On with the show. Dinnertime is over, and everyone is sitting in the living room. We now have six women and five men in the house. Suddenly, the clock chimes midnight. Everyone goes silent. It’s voting time.

All six women get to vote now, so six jewels and six voice recorders will be distributed. Our six women will make their choices and then leave the house.

Let the drama begin.

First up is Junkyu. He got one jewel last time, and we the audience know it came from So Won. After that, he had the amusement park date with Ye Won and Ji Yeon, and then he had a dinner date with Hyun Seo and Mi Ho. He’s been on a roll. So now he opens his locker to find … one jewel. That’s a bit of a letdown. But he’s happy, so okay. He wonders who it’s from.

EXACTLY what I was about to post, alvarez. So Won owes Haruto that jewel after lying to his face on that date.

Hyun Seo tells us how kind and considerate Junkyu has been today and how she enjoyed dinner with him.

Speaking of the other guy (Jihoon), it’s his turn. Back upstairs we go. Last time, he got three jewels, from Mi Ho, Ye Won, and Ji Yeon. Then he got stuck at home with the Terrified Twins while Haruto and Junkyu got to go on dates, but he met the two new girls, made them lunch, and learned how to ask a girl for her name. He ended the day having dinner with new girl nursing student Ju Hee. Now he opens his locker … and he has one jewel and one recorder. That’s a bummer.

We the audience learn that Ju Hee left him the jewel. No surprise there. They had a great conversation at dinner.

Now it’s time to see who left the voice recorder.  How much you wanna bet it's So Won, trying to disguise her voice?

Jihoon hits Play. Called it – it’s So Won. “Being kind to everyone and thinking about each person was so nice and charming, but I couldn’t find any different charm from yesterday, so I hope we can see a different charm of yours tomorrow.”

This is confusing. What else was he supposed to do? So Won barely spent any time with him today, so how would she know what kind of charming he was being? For Pete’s sake, he learned to ask a girl her name today!

Next up, Jae Hyuk. Last time, he got a voice recorder from Ye Won. That turned him into a emotional mess until the two new girls arrived, and he finally sat down for a conversation. By day’s end, he was having takoyaki with  Ye Won and So Won and was still miserable because he wanted to apologize to everyone for his behavior. Now he’s dreading going upstairs.

Jae Hyuk checks his locker, and then we cut to his return to the living room. He’s so sad. He doesn’t even want to talk to his bandmates. He sits on the couch and covers his face with a pillow. The other guys are very concerned. What was in his locker???

We get a flashback to him opening the locker. It’s a jewel and two voice recorders. Good grief, Jae Hyuk. I thought you’d found 56 voice recorders and a dead rat.

Okay, so he’s smiling about the one jewel. We find out it came from Ye Won. Wow. That’s a turnaround. Now to listen to the recordings and assess the damage.

Recorder 1: It’s Mi Ho. “We didn’t talk much all day. But it seemed like you didn’t make many attempts to start a conversation, and I wish you had. Could you please be more proactive next time?”

Recorder 2: It’s Ji Yeon. “I wish Jae Hyuk had done better today. When everyone was together, I couldn’t really see his charms, and that was a bit disappointing. Please show us more of your charming self tomorrow.”

Jae Hyuk is still smiling. He wasn’t sad when we saw him go downstairs. He was trying to hide his smile. Nice fake-out, Shining SOLO. He tells us he’s gunning for three jewels by the end of his stint in the house.

Okay. Asahi’s turn. He started with two recorders, and it also messed with his head. But he made an effort and wound up having dinner and connecting with Ji Yeon.

He opens his locker. One jewel … and THREE voice recorders. Like Jae Hyuk, he’s focused on and happy about the jewel.

Wait, that’s all six recorders. All accounted for. So Haruto isn’t going to get any recorders. We’ll unpack that when we get to him. Let’s get these final recorders out of the way.

We learn that Ji Yeon gave him the jewel, of course. I wonder if he’ll figure that out. Now for the messages.

Recorder 1: It’s Ju Hee. “It was my first time meeting you today, and I saw you smile shyly at my greeting, which I found very charming. But I feel like I haven’t seen all of your charms yet, which is a bit disappointing. I hope you can confidently show your true self in the remaining time. Be confident!”

Asahi whispers “be confident,” to himself and smiles. Best reaction to a recorder yet.

Recorder 2: It’s Hyun Seo. “During the pajama party, we talked about two charming points about ourselves, and I feel like you could have been more confident when it was your turn. Instead, you hesitated. It would have been better if you had spoken more confidently.”

Once again, Asahi whispers, “be confident,” with a smile. This is actually inspiring.  I like seeing Asahi get a positive experience out of getting three voice recorders.

Finally, Recorder 3: It’s Ye Won. “During the truth or dare game –” (I’m sorry, first the pajama party and now truth or dare? When was all this and why didn’t we see it?) “—there was a question asking about your charm, but you seemed to struggle to find an answer. So I found that a bit lacking.”

Asahi tells us he is determined to be more confident tomorrow. I want him give him a hug. He took this so well.

Now for Haruto. I can’t wait for him to open that locker. He deserves it after everything yesterday. As much as I joked about his villain turn, I think I was doing the same pivot to humor he was doing when he turned evil during dinner. Now I want to see something heartwarming.

Haruto takes a deep breath, counts to three (“ha-na, dool, seht!”) and opens the locker. He’s got two jewels.

He’s happy, as well as curious about who sent them. The viewers learn it was Mi Ho and So Won, both of his bowling dates. These two may have just saved the world from Haruto’s wrath. He tells us he is determined to get at least the same number of jewels from now on.

Now it’s Day Three at our lovely Treasure Castle, and we learn that the name of today’s episode is “B.O.M.B.” (Spoiler alert: This title will not make any sense over the course of the episode, at least not in English.)

The house is empty. We’re heading over to a soccer field today for a Treasure Castle Field Day. The narrator tells us the boys will have a chance to show off their charms outside, because physical strength is also a charm. From the preview clips, it looks like the boys will be competing while the girls cheer them on and judge how charming they are. I already hate this, but proceed.

They start by having each team do team chants. This is something I have seen in every single one of these shows but haven’t brought up because there’s always been eight million other things to discuss. But I need to point it out now.  Every time a group of Korean people forms a team, a band, a Squid Game viewing party, a neighborhood watch, they give their group a name and do a cheer. The cheer usually ends with awkward silence from the audience, so the team claps for themselves, and everyone moves on. That’s exactly what Teams Victory and Hulk do here.

Let’s move on. First up … oh no it’s this again … cockfighting! And since the girls are not participating, I don’t know why they’re part of the teams. Junkyu eventually drops out because his legs and back are starting to hurt. Looks like he’ll lose some points on charm, I guess. Honestly, I don’t care of a guy is into sports or not, but this show apparently does.

Haruto commits a foul by pushing Jihoon with his hands, but he has an idea to make up for it. He volunteers Asahi to fight one-on-one with Jihoon. Wait, that can’t be right. (checking notes) Yes, that’s exactly what he’s doing.

Everyone except Asahi thinks this is a great idea. Okay, is Haruto a villain or not? Why is he making Asahi fight for him? Well, whatever the reason, Asahi, this is your chance to impress the girls! Get in there and fight Haruto’s battles for him! Because apparently, that’s charming! I do not understand this show!

Asahi battles Jihoon, and it’s the most engaged and excited I’ve seen Asahi all series. He wins the battle.

Asahi’s teammates ask him about his winning strategy, and he says, “I’m confident in my core strength.” He used his new word! I hope the girls were within listening distance.

So Round 1 goes to Team Victory. Next up is something called Waist Wrestling. It’s like Tug of War, but the rope is tied around two people’s waists, and they try to run in opposite directions.

Junkyu and Jihoon will battle first. The first battle takes only seconds, and Jihoon wins. First Junkyu has to drop out of the cockfighting due to back pain, and now he gets dragged on his ass across the field, fighting to keep his pants on. He is not having a good day. But the girls tell him he gets points for his sense of humor.

Next up, Haruto vs. Jae Hyuk. They get into position, but then everything grinds to a halt because there’s a praying mantis on Ye Won’s pants. “I was really shocked. No one could do anything,” says Ju Hee.

Just … it’s a praying mantis. They don’t bite. Just gently flick it away, and let’s move on.

But no. We’re told that everyone is at a loss. However, this is now a chance for one of the men to be a charming manly man, so Haruto steps up. He pulls it off her pant leg and throws it, and it flies away. The Korean Armed Forces are told to stand down. Everyone applauds wildly as Haruto strides proudly back to the field. Ye Won tells us she found Haruto really dashing. It was a bug. Just … never mind. Let’s just do the sports. Haruto and Jae Hyuk do the sports, and Haruto wins.

So now both teams are tied. Because there are only two guys on Team Hulk, and God forbid the women get involved, Jihoon has to play again in the tie-breaking match with Haruto. I guess Asahi’s not playing.

Haruto snarls, “The plot twist starts now!” Damn, that man wants some jewels. This match is more of a nailbiter, meaning it lasts about eight seconds instead of five. Jihoon wins. The girls tell us in confessionals how strong and masculine Jihoon is and how they find that charming. Feminism is dead.

Now they play regular Tug of War, and the girls are actually playing too this time. Team Victory wins. Now for the final match. It’s a relay race. It starts with Haruto vs. Jae Hyuk. After the first lap, Asahi takes the baton from Haruto, and now all three of them are running because I don’t know how this game works. The girls are participating in this match as well. So Won is a FAST runner, helping lead Team Hulk to victory.

In confessionals, the girls go on about how sports brought out the guys’ charm and personality and okay shut up.

They go grocery shopping on the way home, and because of Korean broadcasting laws requiring all brand names be blurred, they look like they’re shopping while being swept into another dimension. I love the blurred row that’s CLEARLY Pringles Potato Chips.

Back at the house, Jae Hyuk shows Ji Yeon how to work the coffee machine, so I guess that makes him even more charming. They unpack the groceries and prepare for the barbecue. Asahi is starting to look anxious again. Can he remember his new word of the day? Yes! He steps in and helps with the food prep, participating in the conversation.

Asahi is being social and doing well. He’s not spending much time with Ji Yeon, though. It’s like every time a couple starts clicking on this series, the showrunners separate them before the fans riot.

The guys set up the grill on the second floor patio, which has become my favorite part of the house. If I lived there, I’d spend most of my time up there with my laptop. Or just staring at the mountains. I love the lights on the railing. Is the homeowner a single guy? Because I would move to Korea.

Haruto is wearing glasses. Our boy is REALLY gunning for more jewels. I need to start a glasses count on these episodes.

Of course the girls don’t know how the grill works, so Jihoon just does it. (screaming into a pillow for a full ten minutes) The subtitle actually reads, “A man who knows how to start a fire is charming.” Hey, Shining SOLO, cavemen knew how to start fires, and their idea of “charming” was clubbing a woman over the head OKAY OKAY I’ll shut up.

Everyone enjoys the meal, and I keep waiting for one of the guys to fix a transmission or grow a beard, just to put him over the top in the charming competition.

Suddenly, classical music fills the house. Stairway Mailbox Time! What is our mission tonight?

Now please go to your assigned places and check the envelopes.  The 10-minute talk time will begin.  You’ll rotate to have one-on-one conversations with the women for 10 minutes each.  The guys can accurately find out which women gave them jewels and voice recorders.  It’s the last night before the Mr. Treasure selection!  This will be your last chance before the critical moment.

Okay. So we know the guys can talk to women in groups, but not all of them have had one-on-one conversations with any of the women. This will be the final chance for them to win jewels before Part 2 of this series, when we bring in the remaining five group members and start this thing all over again.

The episode is about to end, but it looks like we’ll get to see a few minutes of this mission. Haruto is sitting upstairs in the small kitchen off the patio (I LOVE THIS HOUSE), and his first conversation partner arrives. It’s Mi Ho. She’s one of the women who gave him a jewel in the last voting round.

Haruto says he’s suspected Mi Ho and So Won gave him the jewels before he just now got the confirmation on his card.

Mi Ho tells him she’s noticed how attentive and thoughtful he’s been to everyone.

Haruto just goes for it, asking who she’ll give her final jewel to. Of course, she says she’s still thinking about it. Still, Haruto is making the best of his ten minutes, focusing on the conversation, trying to sway her decision. This is more politics than charm, but that’s the game this show is playing. (She does tell him he looks good in glasses. I wonder if any of the other guys will be wearing them.)

“You know I have a thing for glasses,” she reminds him. “I wore them for you,” he volleys back.

Mi Ho blushes and just manages to stammer, “Glasses are nice.”

A chime ringing through the house tells us it’s time to move on to the next conversation partner. Mi Ho, still blushing and stammering, leaves, and in walks Ji Yeon. She’s carrying a small red box. It’s a box of snacks … that she just got from Asahi. Uh oh. Looks like Asahi has secured this jewel already.

Haruto has a question for Ji Yeon, going all the way back to the beginning of the series. He wants to know who she gave her first impression rose to.

Woah. That was a while back. (scrambling through notes) Okay. Haruto didn’t get any roses, which is why it’s not on his card. She says she gave it to Jae Hyuk, but she almost gave it to Haruto. He asks why she changed her mind. She said she didn’t get to talk to him much, so she couldn’t get any kind of impression.

He understands her answer and says there’s something else he wants to ask her. Who, out of all the guys, is she most comfortable with?

Surprisingly, she says Junkyu. She’s holding a gift from Asahi, she gave Asahi her jewel in the last voting round, she clicked with Asahi at the dinner mission, but she’s most comfortable with Junkyu?

Haruto, probably not knowing she gave her jewel to Asahi, just nods at her answer. He turns on the charm, telling her he’s always watched her reactions and likes how she interacts with people. The chime rings, and she leaves with something to think about.

The episode ends. This was interesting. We may be gearing up for a final battle between Haruto and Asahi. Until next time, some questions to ponder:

What other masculine activities would have made the women swoon? Explaining what qualifies as pass interference in American football? Distilling their own whiskey while smoking cigars and filing their own taxes? Driving a cybertruck through a war zone while refusing to look at a map for ask for directions?

What is Ji Yeon’s deal? Seriously, I mean, just … what the hell?

If you were the Pringles company, would you pay the show to have your products be the only unblurred items in the grocery store scene? Discuss.

See you next episode.

[littlewalken]

jan 19

That Facebook thing where you might follow an official page or two for a group but it never fails that a brand new page with one of their names will suddenly pop up and want you to follow them. Come join my special page etc.

Verbal/high function autistic who grew up without friends and still has trouble making/keeping any and never falls for catfishing scams in the house!

Extra points if a family member suddenly messages you asking for money and you tell them to fuck off. Hell, I got to tell my sister to her face to fuck off when she came asking for money for something she couldn't afford.

They couldn't even come close to my favorite member. Like stop pairing me up with B-Rok from BSB. He's a yes today Jesus and I'm a yes today Satan.

My Dominion War husband never even asked me for money or anything.

And I was dead broke. Hopefully none of y'all can relate to the time between a doctor telling you to stop working before your health condition kills you but the disability hasn't kicked in yet.

There's a Pete Townshend song about that.

The liminalness of a mostly empty place waiting for you to move out is setting in. We're done living here, it knows we're done, and we've both accepted it but there's literally nowhere for us to go until the time to go.

No news, which we assume is good news, about the possibility of the move in date being pushed down a few days. We are mentally preparing. If it's like one night we'll see how much the novelty motel is for the sake of saying we stayed at the novelty motel. Closer to a week we might do an extended stay or just pick a freeway and drive off for a couple of days.

And that is why we don't have any pets and even gave our fish away and no, we can't get anyone to help us move because you can't hire anyone without a firm move in date.

Momentarily tapped out on Imagination Land ideas but with little more to do than observe media and other healthy ways to pass the time the ideas will come.

[thislovintime]

On the set of Head, 1968.

“‘What stood out for me with Davy as an artist was his spontaneous stagecraft,’ Tork recalls. ‘He enjoyed himself on stage, for sure, gloried in his part. He was so alert as an entertainer and so relaxed that things would come to him out of the blue and he would just go with them. He could be incredibly funny. Micky and I were always breaking up on stage. [...] I’m so sorry he’s gone. I’m going to miss that wit and heart.’” - Billboard, March 1, 2012

“Genuine, reliable and huggable, Peter is a natural person — really gets off on talent — loves other musicians and can jam along with the best of ‘em. I saw him holding his own with Hendrix, Stills, Young. He encouraged me no end. Bought me my first guitar and my first drum kit. […] Never really got into fashions — he had his own. The first guy I ever met who wore different-colored socks. Wore his belt buckle on the side. Hated boots. Always had on sandals or moccasins. He used to walk with a swagger, swinging his arms with a confident air. He calmed hysteria, and lifted depression. ‘Dried banana, anybody? Piece of orange?’ — smiling, waving, running his hand through his hair. He knew all the crew by their first names. Kids crying at his feet he lifted and hugged like a father calming a child. Health food was just starting to catch on in the sixties and Peter was kind of a forerunner of that whole scene. I’m afraid that sort of image was a little thin for two other guys I could mention, but I understood — I really did. And I think he knew it. […] He’s the most musically talented of us all by a mile. His songs are real. ‘For Pete’s Sake’ — which replaced the Monkees Theme at the end of the some of the shows of the second season — is one of my all-time favorite songs by anybody. I’ve joked a lot about Peter giving everything away. But it was true. He was always giving his spare room to someone who needed it for the night — anyone. And he always seemed far away somewhere — in a different space. But I’m glad I know him. Of all the things he gave, he gave me lots of laughs — and food for thought.” - Davy Jones

“[Micky] and Mike and I have a very cordial relationship and share a lot of common topics. We go to lunch together when we’re all in town and have a good time. I love and respect each of these guys in their own way, although the real joys that I shared with Davy were special. At one point we had some good hard connections but as the years rolled on, those things faded away. But I am sorry to see Davy go. He was the one member in the group that I had the strongest human connection with. I still have two guys that I love and respect left from the band, but we share a different dynamic.” - Peter Tork, Review Mag, May 27, 2016

"I only now have, in the last couple of years, come to understand how smart and good-hearted Davy Jones could be. I did not have the skills to notice that, even though I was drawn to it without knowing exactly why. But I certainly did not have the first clue of how to encourage all of the good stuff from Davy that I loved. I wish I could have known how to do it - and he might still be with us, even.” - Las Vegas Weekly, September 14, 2016 (x)

“Well, I’ve never been really close with Michael [Nesmith] for some reason. You know, I have a lot of respect for him and admiration. But somehow we’ve never integrated. We’ve never been warm with each other. We worked together and did pretty well at it really.” - Peter Tork, Clevescene, March 13, 2017

Q: “I’m curious about the various reunions that happened over the years. Is it safe to say that you guys were never really friends?” Peter Tork: “Oh, I don’t know. I would say I was pretty good friends with Micky, and there was a lot of love between me and Davy. I have a lot of respect for Mike Nesmith and we’ve structured ways to work together. Things rotate. It’s like having a basketball team. You know, gosh, it’s like having a championship basketball team. They go on the road every so often and do tours, you know, just exhibition tours but fortunately your music skills don’t deteriorate as fast as your basketball skills do, but I wouldn’t know what else to compare it to. We had a chance to go out together and we took it, and we had a great time, and if we were not friends at all we would not have been able to do it. We played tours months and months long: ‘86, ‘87, ‘89, ‘91, ‘92, ‘96, ‘97, 2001, 2002 and 2011, so we couldn’t have been such enemies.” - Phawker, circa 2012; re-published 2019

And a throwback to Michael's 1972 Hit Parader comments about Peter in an older post.

[daydreamhowell]

Hello it’s SRS once again!! Hope you’re having a beautiful week :)

These dances sound AMAZING and I love that you incorporate classic rock into the routines and that it strikes such a chord with students! You know for sure 10 years down the line one of these kids will hear come together or something and inadvertently launch into an entire choreographed routine, much to the confusion of everyone around them lol. Have you danced/taught dance for a long time or is it a newer role for you?

OK good to know about the albums!! I am growing increasingly intrigued by the monkees based on your wild & crazy tales and would LOVE some recs!! What songs/albums/etc. would you recommend to get started?

Also yes please tell me about the Mike nesmith imprinting!! I see his name everywhere & am curious to understand the full psychological reasons why you have grafted on to him like a chick to a mother hen

Congratulations on officially having finished your finals!! I hope they went swimmingly :) do you have any plans you’re looking forward to for winter break (if you have a winter break)?

Also you’re a CS major? So brave I truly could never. I barely know how to use a computer let alone make it do NEW things… crazy & wildly impressive. What draws you to computer science?

I study environmental biology! Very fun huge fan but yes the amount of extra labs etc. is crazy. I will actually need to learn R or something next semester for a biostats class but that’s a problem for later… I literally tried to download R on my computer this summer but got stuck on that for an hour and gave up 😭

Have a WONDERFUL time relaxing from the stress of finals!! Hope you get up to something fun this week <3

Omg so sorry for going mia for a week….. now that the semester’s over my sense of time has gone out the window 💀

Your finals were this week, right? I hope they went well!! Sending you all the good vibes 🩵🩵🩵 Do you have any fun plans for your break?

I started dance when I was 2 (lol) and started teaching when I was 17!! So I’ve been teaching for a little while but not like forever lol

I think their first album is a good place to start!! It has more of a pop vibe but has some really catchy songs and sometimes gets a little psychedelic. Last Train to Clarksville was the big hit from that album. I’d also recommend listening to the soundtrack from their movie Head, the music is really really good. You probably already know I’m a Believer and Daydream Believer, so beyond that I’d recommend For Pete’s Sake, Early Morning Blues and Greens, Randy Scouse Git, Listen to the Band, Pleasant Valley Sunday, Goin’ Down, Words, Auntie’s Municipal Court, and Magnolia Simms. The four of them have such different musical influences, so I tried to get a little bit of everything here!

In all honesty, it’s mostly just that Mike is hot. (I think he’s at his hottest mid 70s through mid 80s, but he’s still really cute in the first season of the show as well. Plus in the pilot he looks so young!! Baby.) But he was also really talented and influential even though he never gets credit for it bc of the stigma against the monkees. He was a pioneer of country rock as a genre! He was a major player in the development of music video as we know it today! He created the direct predecessor of MTV and won the first Grammy for music video! He got into VR in the 90s! His mom invented Liquid Paper! The man is fantastic for trivia. On the show, he’s kind of the leader of the group, so I think that also contributes to the cult of personality. When you get into analyzing his gender and sexuality, it gets really interesting really fast. Also he’s an only child raised by a single mom, so he’s kinda sensitive in a way that resonates with me bc I’m an only child too :) But it’s very important to note that he was a complete asshole while the monkees were a thing and also he was a total dick to his first wife (Phyllis deserves so much better, she’s such a queen). So we stay #mikecritical while still thirsting over him. Oh and also his solo work is really wonderful if you’re into country :)))

Glad to be done with finals, yes! I got a 98 on my database exam, which pushed me up to an A from an A- :) I had a project that I finally turned in this past Sunday, so finals week dragged on a little longer than I would’ve liked, but I’m done now!! In January I’m gonna be spending a couple days at a friend’s house, and I haven’t seen her in several years, so I’m super excited :))) also I’m looking at taking a tap dance workshop later this month which will be lots of fun!

What’s really interesting to me about CS is the logical thinking & math aspect, like I enjoy being able to turn my people brain off and just think like the machine. It’s like a logic puzzle which is fun for me :) Plus the sense of accomplishment for having made something! Usually “making” something refers to more creative areas, so CS is kind of unique in that way. And then when your code works there’s that moment of “look!! I made it do the thing!!!”

Omg tell me more about environmental bio!! How did you become interested in it? It’s so cool when people are into more specialized areas of science bc there’s like a whole new world to hear about!! And best of luck with R 🫡 I’ve never had to use a functional language so you’ll have to let me know what it’s like!

I can’t believe Christmas is so close!! It really snuck up on me!! Do you have any traditions/events you’re looking forward to? Staying in bed half the day post-finals?? (That’s what I’ve been doing 🙃) Any hobbies you’re excited to have time for over break?

Much love, talk to you soon!! 🩷🩷🩷