#it’s gonna be super chaotic
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can’t wait to disappoint my father by going to a Kamala Harris rally tomorrow :)
#it’s gonna be crazy#there’s also a Trump rally happening at the exact same time right across the river#like we’ll be facing right at it#it’s gonna be super chaotic#but at least there’s a free Katy Perry concert
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steph and babs don’t need personas, as far as anyone is concerned they’re just family friends.
bruce has his “brucie wayne” persona, very clumsy, playboy, kinda air headed but still very smart and wants to do good for gotham. which of course makes him seem naive cause good?? for gotham??
dick has “richie grayson-wayne” who’s dabbled in modeling before becoming a gymnastics teacher. also very vocal about his “adorable little siblings”
jason never really had a “nickname” after all he was from crime alley and he had to look GOOD for them or else they’d go back to “he’s just like the rest of them”. his persona was very empathetic and kind though, which worked great for him since that’s how he was like. he always talked about doing several non profit charities. the elites switched their opinions of him on a dime, although the rest of gotham adored him.
damian refuses to go by a nickname. his persona is based around animals, mostly about abandoned animals. it’s very clear his goal for the future is to make good animal shelters and help every animal he can. it’s the only persona he could stomach and there were SEVERAL other ideas
cass is “cass wayne” very quiet, polite, generally just there in the background. normally hanging around one of her siblings, most often tim. although her being around him unnerves some of them, she’ll get a look in her face and then her and tim both know they were lying. they fully get why she hangs around tim
duke is regularly seen as the normal one. pleasant to be around, kind, but generally also just there. very normal student, not really sure what he’s gonna do. the elites don’t particularly for him, though the rest of gotham love him.
tim’s persona differs from the rest pretty heavily. he can’t get away with being like bruce, the elites vividly remember janet and see her in him very often, which vaguely scares them if they’ll be honest. he’ll act like “Tim Drake-Wayne” to unsettle them, after all he’s a Drake why is he acting clumsy? they’ve seen him when he was younger and he was the spitting image of perfect. it makes more sense to them when he trips and lands right where he can tell them something no one else can hear. “Timothy Drake” is what scares them though. the tim that casually whispers secrets no one else knows, who points out someone they’re supposed to have a “private meeting with” in a week. who has nearly cause several of them to go broke with such simple actions, and the only reason they didn’t was cause he let them stay rich. there was one elite who insulted damian near tim and suddenly said elite had to get an apartment in crime alley, pay his now ex-wife, a kid he had with some random person, and several debts
the fact that lex luther and tim are some kind of friends also doesn’t make them feel super great but that’s another issue
#tim drake#bruce wayne#damian wayne#jason todd#cassandra cain#dick grayson#unhinged tim drake#chaotic tim drake#i am pushing the tim and lex being weird friends who aren’t really friends but they tolerate each other significantly more than you would#expect. gotta be on good terms with the in laws right?#tim starts walking over to someone and they scramble for a reason to leave and hide#dc stands for disregard canon#is tim fanonized in this? yes. am i gonna stop making him like that? no. and you can’t make me#lex: who are you trying to bankrupt now?#tim: that bitch right there. she insulted cass’s clothing who does that? ig she also called me a slur but who cares#lex is debating if he needs to get someone to take care of a dead body. mentally preparing for this to be thing to make tim go super villain
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#dbtag#silly hours#god#I feel like that's a really clear and consistent thing throughout the entirety of the manga but OTL leave it to Toei!!!!#lays on the floor I wish people were less afraid of letting “good guys” be flawed and selfish and reckless without having to like.#idk vilify them?#like Goku does and always has had a ton of negative qualities about him but what keeps him a protag and what keeps those negatives charming#is that 1) he never promises to be anything Else. If you're upset by his behavior that's a you problem Goku's just doing Goku#He's only upset when Other People get hurt because 2) almost none of those negative qualities contain any malice whatsoever#even as a kid when he was 'i killed that guy' it was like 'i solved a problem why are you mad (gen)' not 'good fucking riddance lol'#and he kept that as an adult too even when he learned more about compassion he's still 'well if you're not gonna stop i have to kill you'#it's never 'fuck off and die' it's always 'listen buddy either you knock it off or i knock you out there is no option c '#and god i love that Goku. I spent so long thinking I hated Goku growing up but I only hated Toei's Goku. Toriyama's Goku is GREAT.#like look if an antagonist is just a hero with the wrong perspective a hero is just a villain with the right one#and the fact that Goku has all of the qualities of a villain with none of the malice or intention makes him SO POWERFUL as a character#Goku doesn't like bystanders getting hurt. That doesn't make him less chaotic and self-centered and simplistic in his worldview.#A hero sacrifices his loved ones to save the world -- a villain sacrifices the world to save his loved ones --#Goku sacrifices himself because you cannot kill him in any way that matters#idskahds anyway here's another essay in the tags for your wednesday evening scroll#the justification the interviewer gave was that the anime was for kids but my beef with that is that Hero Tropes strip chaotic characters#of their emotions. Goku's conflicts are emotional. Goku's power is emotional. Goku's childlikeness keep him authentically emotional.#MORE kids -- ESPECIALLY little boys -- deserve a male protagonist who leans into his emotions to persevere and win.#Super deciding his “angelic state” would kill him makes me want to tear my hair out lmao Goku's EMOTIONS are too strong to hold it.#you could've just asked toriyama about it why'd you decide on the most basic high-stakes shorthand possible OTL#aNYWAY#media analysis#in the tags at least lol
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone who celebrates! I want to share the things I made this year for thanksgiving.
I made homemade eggnog, eggnog pie with the homemade eggnog, and a lime pie!
The eggnog pie is the top right and the lime pie is the bottom one.
#thanksgiving#pie#baking#homemade#happy thanksgiving#eggnog#it’s one in the morning#I can’t fall asleep because I’m gonna see my family tomorrow and it’s a one hour drive#I love them and feel safe around them but they are super chaotic which is good but also can be very tiring
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I AM SO SORRY FOR RESPONDING TO YOU LATE!!!!
Hahaha, I love that you love sharks 😊 It was a pretty cool song.
"Walking the Wire" is such a beautiful song! That's neat it was their first song and they performed it in Poland!!
Awww, I hope your friend is doing alright too. "Radioactive" just hits, man. If not the lyrics, then the instruments. The whole song is just *chef's kiss*
I SWEAR I DIDN'T HEAR "It's Time"!!!!
(Why and How do I keep confusing Imagine Dragons for American Authors????)
Lmaooooo, yup, he went shirtless. The rest of the night. No shame in crushing on your favorite artists!
It's even better when you hear a celebrity you personally like get vulnerable (I mean genuinely vulnerable) and open up about it to a crowd of people they don't personally know, yet, still feel comfortable opening up about their struggles.
Lmao that shirt really is slutty 😂😂
Don't apologize for the essay, I loved it!!
please, don't apologize, look at me - answering this so many days later angrkkjkjrejk5k5kj-
ok, so i did my research and turns out it's time is not even on the setlist, which is a fucking crime if you ask me. it's literally one of their best songs ever. but overall the setlist is absolutely amazing! although i have noticed that some of the songs are changing, depends on the show (apparently some of the shows had hear me while the others had tiptoe? still sick as fuck, cause i love both).
i think i already told you this (i don't remember cause i talk A LOT), but i literally bought the tickets to LOOM tour next year cause they announced european leg and poland is on the list (not very surprising, cause they are here very often!) 😂 it's going to be my third imagine dragons show and i'm going with my friend who has a huge crush on dan (he literally told me the other day that he wants to see his "dragon" lmao HE'S WORSE THAN ME OK???). it's going to be amazing 😂
and i agree with the "no shame in crushing on your favourite artists" part. literally look at my blog. every single day of my life i am trying to make sure that everybody knows that i think tyler joseph is the sexiest man alive oops who said that not me.
#jesus christ sorry for being super chaotic i just jdsfbirbirw i'm so excited hahaha#i have a feeling it's going to be a great show#also it's pretty awesome that you had a chance to experience it and now i'm going to the same tour#hjdfvevfew#it's in july next year so i still have plenty of time#anyway#it's gonna be awesome!#daisy anon#imagine dragons#i saved every letter you wrote me*
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It's all fun and games until it isn't
#dumb doodles#master m au#1) i think it'd be neat if he tagged along with the other minions sometimes not to help but to follow around the hero(s) to make them laugh#the princess and the green guy are doing this hero thing all WRONG#they should be happy and smile because that's what heros are supposed to DO#the turtle gets it; he seems thrilled as heck during all this#plus....there's just something extra annoying about greenie not enjoying being the main hero and being so /miserable/ looking....#2) ....does. anyone else think mario might... subconsciously internalize his image as a hero?#like; don't get me wrong; he loves helping others and is by default; a happy lil guy#but...it probably is a lot of pressure to be that constant rock and source of comfort#he's probably mostly okay with it and it probably doesn't cross his mind to be resentful or bitter about always being the hero#there's just this small small; easily ignorable part of him that's tired of it#that the mister m persona brings to the forfont in a kinda ugly way if you crack that mask hard enough#in other words; if he drops the smile; then i think his more bitter thoughts and feelings he hides both as mario and master m#are a bit more...obvious if that makes sense#ANYWAYS THOSE BOYS ARE GONNA NEED SOME THERAPY AFTER THIS#3) i. honestly forgot if the mimi fight was before or after the first mr. l one lmao#i just wanted to do some silly puns before the sucker punch#anyways; it's an au; luigi probably isn't collecting hearts in the proper order chaotic lil man he is#super mario#mario#luigi
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The meower
#Queued... technically March 23rd?#I mean its march 22nd in oregon. but im not there rn lolz#either way im late. SORRY !! i forfor to queue on the 20th then i was on planes for like 21 hrs total#well no 5 of those were a layover @ the airport but#ANYWAYYYYY hi future me !!!#Howww was the trip? im on my first (second actually- its 4am of the second day if u coukd the arrival) day in Hong Kong#Its rlly hot and humid so I think im gonna die. BUT ITS ALSO SUPER COOL !!#Even just from the few hours I had out earlier its amazingggg. The lights and the buildings are so cool and theres such a fun but chaotic#atmosphere - idk if its just bcs its a big city or specific to HK?#I loveee large cities in general. New york. Tokyo. HK. thats all of the ones ive been to ig#I havent seen even close to all of HK. Im in central rn but we're goin to other parts later#Dad says the other parts are totally different- Like theres LOADS of gisnt buildings here (WAY MORE THAN U SEE IN ******!!! u know that tho#and theyre almost all residential of the ones I passed. Im sure theres offices n stuff i just didnt see them in the likd 20 minutes cab#ride lolz. U know all tuis already tho#ig what im getting at is HOW WAS THE TRIP !!!!! How was the rest of HK? WHAT WAS KYOTO LIKE??#augh soo many cool things.....#Also also !! Have you learned any mire katakana?#ive JUST learned the vowel line so maybe u lesrned the k line now too?#I cant imagine school is any different. OHH DID U FINISH THE M P 10P COMIC??#I started it and got abt one page done on the plane#I think it should only end up being two or three pages idk#Ohh !! Hows the new meds going !! I think u should have ur blood test done by now so do u know if it helped at all?#I hope soooooooooooo#Mm I think thats all I have to say .... NO WAIT HAVE U HUNG OUT W/ JACKIE??#i rlly want to b friends with her ^.^#Alright Thats all !! HAVE A GOOD DAYYYYYY I LOVE U#queue drop#weather report#WAIT EDIT DID THE TRIGUN VOLUME COME. HOW IS IT
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i have so much work to do for finals season which is frustrating bc on the one hand i'm very glad all my classes have project-based finals where i get to be creative instead of just doing an exam or a paper. however. i have a bad habit with every project-based final ever of accidentally getting an idea that's way too ambitious and creating more work for myself than i need to do
however this semester even tho i fell into that exact same trap my two most elaborate final projects each involve 1. editing a video essay which contains an interview i did with paul bellini and at least 45 seconds of it are bellini talking about why he thinks i have great potential as a comedian, and 2. editing a ten minute reel of the documentary footage i got on tour with scott. which of course involves rewatching various videos of me and scott being extremely chaotic together. so i stay winning ig
#my other finals include ''powerpoint presentation detailing the historical significance of mel brooks the producers''#and ''live sketch show that i actually don't have a significant role in but that's fine i have a different sketch class next semester''#(this sketch class was technically ''creating characters and solo performances'' and i really wish i could've done more)#(but also that whole interview-footage-debacle drained so much of my creative energy so sometimes doing the bare minimum is self care)#so i don't have a solo piece in the show. but i do get to say my favorite line in the whole show in a group sketch which is great#and i did sign up to perform an aubrey monologue in a sketch show in a suburb of boston next week#which is gonna be super interesting bc i've been looking to do more performing outside of my college#bc i've found that i don't think college kids are actually my target audience??? or at the very least i want to perform to a wider audience#it's frustrating bc for that show i have to trim the monologue down to 3 minutes but it's the tightest monologue i have and it's 5 minutes#so trimming it down feels like a game of jenga since it's so tight lmao#but honestly even if the performance bombs i'm mostly doing this so i can tell bellini about it lmao#he's so supportive of my comedy and he's been such a great help with my aubrey monologues i feel like this is bellini homework lmao#anyway i probably won't post the video essay publicly bc it's not the style of video essays i want to make#and it's too specific to the class it's for#but if people are interested in watching it i'll send you the vid when it's done#and for the tour video i'll probably post that or at least some version of it#bc that's just gonna be a fun teaser of ''here's the level of behind-the-scenes content you'll be getting from this doc!!''#and also a fun way to be like. audiences don't know me nearly as well as they know scott#but they will definitely know me by the end of this bc there are so many wild interactions i have on camera of me and scott being chaotic#anyway this post was mostly to organize my thoughts of what i still have to do this week#i am so ready to be done with school lmao i'm gonna be spending a full month in toronto this summer#and it's shaping up to be such an exciting time i can't wait
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coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls
#bnha spoilers#also. more evidence that horikoshi read zero-sum game#like come on the twins thing the izuku losing his quirk thing the losing his arm thing the shiggy getting decay from afo thing#TELL ME THE TRUTH HORIKOSHI. DID YOU READ MY FANFIC.#i'm joking of course. he's just done a really good job of foreshadowing through the series. its a marker of an amazing author#and i know that izuku probably won't lose both his arms and his quirk. i fully expect it to be a happy ending in some way shape or form#this is a sixteen year old boy who sacrificed EVERYTHING. more than he ever had to give#and he had less than a year. LESS THAN A YEAR.#sorry i'm already crying thinking about the scene of him holding shigaraki's hand even though it will decay him........#izuku who knows better than ANYONE what shigaraki's power can do.... reaching out to him. caring more about others than about himself.#he's just. he's so good. he's SO GOOD. he deserves the world#tbh i feel like eri HAS to be involved at this point. she's the deus ex machina in all this#that or overhaul#both of their abilities can at least physically restructure izuku's body#it would actually be a very interesting redemption point for overhaul.......#i mean WHY ELSE RESCUE HIM. and why give him THE SAME FUCKING INJURY#what a powerful thing it would be to have eri give overhaul his arms back#and overhaul learning about goodness and forgiveness from this girl he's done nothing but abuse and torture#and saves izuku........#its about ATONEMENT. its about GROWTH. its about IT NEVER BEING TOO LATE.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE YOU MY HERO ACADEMIA#... ok. i'm normal. its fine.#on another note#i loved the ending to my first bg3 run which i think i finished Tuesday/Wednesday. i cried.#IMMEDIATELY started a durge run where i'm playing a male human bard instead of the female half-wood elf ranger#i was like 'haha. i'll make a character based on hisoka from hxh! i'm gonna be SOOOO evil! >:))#and guess who still isn't good at being big evil. ME. at worst i'm probably chaotic neutral.#its wild i'm already finding SO MANY new scenes i missed on the first playthrough even though i'm making a lot of the same choices#so it still feels super fun and fresh. more so now because i kind of know the characters and the mechanics better#my current playthrough i'm with lae'zel shadowheart and asterion with no intention of switching out
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today has been such a wild up and down and up and down moment for me because i got a text message from my favorite person in the world at like. 6:52 am wishing me luck on first day of classes for the second semester, and then classes were . . . interesting (ie. professors + class content is all really exciting, but boy some of my sectionmates just. keep driving me insane. why do people still act like they’re in high school). and then my college friends and i made plans to hang out this sunday. and then my three hour class turned out to just be super awkward (again: why are some of my sectionmates like. fucking high schoolers). and then i texted my friend who made me feel ten times more valid for my shared fun fact (ie. everyone looked at me like an idiot for saying that i used to memorize an entire movie script when i was thirteen. and for saying that i would like to explore deep space at one point). and then i realized i need to go back to my place (which always fills me with a certain dread). and then i learned that my roommate had very kindly dragged up my heavy-ass packages up the stairs today (which made me cry because for a split second i thought my landlord had stolen my packages, and i’m so sad that’s something i genuinely need to worry about now, but like. i really worried about that). and then i hopped on a zoom meeting and rambled for 2 seconds too long because “sorry my camera’s off, i’m making dinner rn oh no i’m freezing aren’t i” and it was very chaotic so i felt bad for no reason. and then i found out my contracts professor has finally posted the grade, and guys. it’s my highest doctrinal classes grade. do you know how weird that is. contracts was literally the class i for sure thought i was going to fail. and it’s my highest grade. what the fuck--
#caroline talks#so. it's been a . . . . very chaotic day#but you know what :')) i've decided that all the good outweighed a lot of the bad#because it was pretty rocky in moments#like not gonna lie besties. i had five separate seconds in my day today#just contemplating if i should drop out of law school.#but now i'm like '. . . . you know what :')) even if i feel like i don't belong here'#'my professors clearly think i belong here . . . and my loved ones think i belong here . . . .'#SORRY FOR BEING SUPER PERSONAL THESE DAYS . . . january has truly been Such a Fucking Month so far#but here we are :'))
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#ya im handling my biodads death super well -having a mini crisis tht lastedlike 2 weeks So Far-#im like. Fine i didnt know the guy super well and he was also apparently a TERRIBLE person but im still kinda bummed#like waow he couldve been a good person and i cpuldve had a dad but norp now he is Decomposing#talking ab it in therapy didnt do much tho im still v confused as to why im so upset abt it. like this dude Sucked#anyway does anyone else hav similar experiences or am i just alone and cringe ab this bc its. Weird#frank.txt#parent death mention#when is life gonna stop being so chaotic and just like calm down for a Moment. i finally have a break frm being poked n prodded by doctors#and now im spending that break thinking ab This shit. lame as hell#death mention
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im planning on making like. formal refs for the rest of the EOTA crew (+ redoing Kirsen's already bc ive decided i don't like it 😔), but i wanna show Jashe's new doodle early bc i love she
#my art#my ocs#oc: jashe savandi#os: entrails of the animals#i'll probs delete this once the finished products are up#but for now take my favorite chaotic bastard lesbian#im predicting that when i get to book 2#either she's gonna be super fun to write (bc she exists to make jokes and cause problems)#or she's gonna be so hard to write (bc ive written her to be the smartest person alive in that world and i am dumb)
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One of my new year's resolutions was doing more fun things, stepping out of my comfort zone and doing things I think I can't do. So i did a ceramics workshop on the second day of the new year and I had so much fun!!
#all women! theyre all SUPER nice.#the vibes were immaculate#the teacher is so sweet very social little chaotic ofcourse curly hair ofcourse#i made such an ugly bowl!! but im so proud of it#im definitely gonna take more classes#and spin the little wheel too sometime#personal
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have decided my Goal for the weekend is to get rid of 10 items in the kitchen that I don't use/don't like.
this is absolutely a frivolous goal to distract from the fact that we're supposed to get 18cm of snow in 2 days and my brain has decided that getting groceries and driving to the parents' place are going to be my two Anxiety Fixations (I've driven in worse weather literally earlier this week. it's just the usual beginning of winter nonsense).
but also, much as i love my little kitchen things it's getting pretty crowded and annoying. time to mercilessly clean house! and by that i mean absolutely have multiple crises of conscience about tossing thrift store dishes back into the thrift store.
#nowadays the weather network puts out snowfall warnings even if theres not that much snow over a long period of time#but seeing that always makes me go OH GAWD#anyway im gonna walk to the Shittier Grocery Store at lunch today for snacks (the only one that doesn't involve climbing a hill)#considering trying to get all my groceries there but also i don't want to carry them all home lmao#and i haven't done any meal planning yet#also the reason why it's shittier is that it's always super chaotically busy and the layout is terrible#so by the time i locate chips and dip I'll probably just want to run out of there screaming
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The Past 💛 Atlas
I return to the table and set the drink down in front of Asher. He takes a sip and smiles, “Much better, thank you.”
“No problem,” I reply, sliding onto my stool. I try to lift my feet back onto the footrest, but something is off. I glance down curiously. Are our stools closer together than they were before? Subtle, I smile to myself, though the act doesn’t completely surprise me. The energy has shifted between us since we hung out that day in his living room. While it’s true that we haven’t had a chance to really chat much since then, there have been moments when we occupy the same space, when we have the opportunity to be close. He’ll stand next to me in our morning meetings, near enough that if I shift my weight, I can rest my arm against his, so I do. My body instantly relaxes when we’re touching. Sometimes I don’t even realize how much tension I’m carrying until I lean against him and feel it release.
I’d assumed I was probably imagining things, that none of it was intentional on his part. He really is a very physical person by nature, and doesn’t have much of a personal bubble, so it seemed reasonable that I was reading into it too much. But now with the stools, I think maybe it was intentional all along.
I suppose now I have to decide whether to scoot away or stay where I’m at, not that I have to think about it too hard, more just an observation really. Without a word, I move my foot to the footrest on the side of Asher’s stool since it no longer fits on my own.
Realizing that I now have two drinks to finish instead of one, I take a large gulp of my beer, taking a moment to appreciate the warmth in my belly before stealing a glance at Ash who’s gone surprisingly quiet while I chase my own random string of thoughts.
He’s leaning forward on the table, propped up on one hand with the other wrapped around his drink, watching me.
“What?” I ask, suddenly feeling awkward.
“Nothing. You’re cute.”
Normally, a direct compliment like that would embarrass me, but with my anxiety slightly dampened under the weight of the alcohol, I feel relaxed, and I lean forward, matching his posture. My eyes drift down to the birthmark that starts at his jaw and trails down the side of his neck, disappearing into the black of his hoodie. I allow myself a moment to imagine what it would be like to kiss him there. To breathe him in and feel his pulse quicken beneath my lips.
I glance away briefly in an attempt to stop myself before my mind wanders too far in that direction. When I look back at him, the corner of his mouth is turned up into a half-smile that has now become familiar, and the second our eyes meet, he winks at me, immediately breaking my demeanor and causing my cheeks to burn. I laugh and sit up to finish my beer before swapping the glasses in front of me and starting on the one I stole from him earlier.
“That’s never gonna get old, y’know,” he takes a sip of his whiskey and then leans into me, “Okay, so, I’m curious.”
“About what?”
“You actually came out for a drink – which, they all told me you wouldn’t, by the way – but you walked right past everyone and sat back here in the corner. Is it because you secretly hate them all? Or did you just want me all to yourself?”
I can’t help but smile at that last bit, but I sidestep it and answer with a shrug, “Ah, no, they’re all fine. I just don’t like big groups. I get agitated when there are lots of conversations going on at once, and it gets worse when everyone is drinking and loud. It’s why I usually don’t go out with everyone.”
“I see. So, why’d you come out today?”
“Because you asked me to.”
“Aha, you did want me all to yourself!”
“Well, I wouldn’t word it that way. It sounds so… possessive. But, yeah, I guess I did.”
“Well, you’ve got me, so tell me something.”
“Tell you what?”
“Anything. Tell me something about you that I don’t know yet. Something that would surprise me.”
Oh god, he’s really putting me on the spot now, isn’t he? I buy myself some time by taking a drink of my beer and then settle on what feels like the easiest. “Alright, um, I like to rock climb.”
“Ahh, that explains it.”
“Explains what?”
“How you’re that fit when you spend all day sitting at a desk. I was starting to wonder if you live at the gym on eighty-third.”
“Well, I kind of do. I’m at the gym five days a week, and in the mountains every other weekend. I’m training to climb Mt. Komorebi.”
“You are?!”
“Yeah.”
“Like the actual mountain. You’re just gonna climb it.”
“Yes,” I laugh, “I’m going to climb it.”
“With who?”
“Um, my sister and her boyfriend. And Kiyoshi, he’s done it before, so he’s leading us.”
“Well, shit,” he takes a sip of his drink, shaking his head as if he still doesn’t quite believe it, “Okay, yeah, you surprised me.”
“Your turn then.”
“I’m gonna need another drink first. You want one?”
Since I’m training, I’m supposed to keep alcohol consumption to a minimum, but now that I have a buzz, I’m feeling far more relaxed and cheerful than usual, and I want to hold on to this feeling a little longer, so I tell him, “Sure, just one more,” a sentence I’ll likely repeat multiple times tonight if past experience has taught me anything.
While Ash goes up to the bar to get us another round of drinks, I notice that the group of our co-workers is getting up to leave. I can only imagine what they must be thinking or saying about us right now. I couldn’t care less, though. Let them say what they want. A couple of them look over and wave goodbye, so I raise my hand and give a small wave in return.
Ash comes back with our drinks and says goodbye to a few of them before sitting down. Once they’re out of earshot, he nudges my arm and says quietly, “Most of them are intimidated by you, y’know.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Probably because you’re really good at what you do. And you just sit back there all brilliant and serious all the time.”
“But you don’t think I’m intimidating?”
“Nah, I think you’re sweet.”
I give him a small smile, noticing the compliments that have started to pile up. Oddly enough, they feel sincere, and I’m not quite sure what to do with that, but, thanks to the alcohol, the filter between my thoughts and my words has started to dissolve and I say, “I see. So, I’m cute and fit and brilliant and sweet?”
He chuckles softly, looking embarrassed, “Yeah. Yeah, you are. And, as long as we’re keeping track, you’re funny too. Sometimes.”
“Sometimes,” I laugh quietly, more to myself than anything as I remember that first moment we met. And then I look down, down to where I feel his hand come to rest on my leg, the heat of it warming my thigh.
“Is that okay?” He asks, “Do you want me to move my hand?”
I look up into his eyes and shake my head slightly, “No. No, it’s okay.” I lick my lips and watch his eyes flick down to my mouth and back up again, and for a brief moment I think he’s going to lean in and kiss me. Or maybe not. Maybe I imagined it. Or maybe he got nervous and changed his mind. I’m not sure. But, instead, he reaches over and takes a sip of his drink.
As I watch him, it occurs to me that he’s cleverly kept the conversation focused on me the whole time, so I place my hand on top of his, as if to reiterate that I don’t want him to move it, and say, “So, you never told me.”
Looking confused, he asks, “Told you what?”
“Something about you that I don’t know.”
“Oh, that,” he grins up at me, “I won’t be able to top climbing a mountain.”
“That’s okay, it’s not a competition,” I assure him, “It doesn’t have to be anything big or surprising. I just want to learn something new about you.”
His grin stretches wider, reaching his eyes. He pulls the corner of his lip between his teeth, chewing on it as he considers his answer, and I run my thumb over the back of his hand while I wait patiently. Finally, he takes a breath, having made a decision, “Okay. I have an idea for a video game, and I’ve been working on it for the last, I don’t know, three or four years. Storyboarding it and sketching it out, the world, characters, environment, everything.”
“Really?” I ask, intrigued, “Can I see it?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“The thing is, I’m an artist, not a developer. The mechanics and the code, I basically only know enough to make a real mess of things.”
“What about Lex?”
“Yeah, she’s good. But you’re better.”
“Are you asking me to code your game?”
“Only if you want to. If you don’t, that’s okay. But, I don’t know, it could be fun.”
“Well, I can’t agree without knowing anything about it. For all I know, your idea is shit.”
He laughs at that, nodding, “Fair enough. It probably is.” He takes a moment to finish his drink, crunching down on a piece of ice, and then turns back to me, “Okay, long version or short version?”
It’s getting late, but I have no intention of ending the night anytime soon, so I say, “Long version.”
“Good. There is no short version,” he admits, his face is already lighting up the way it does when he talks about things he loves, making me all the more excited to hear this idea of his. “So, when I was in college—”
“Where?” I ask, cutting him off already.
“Oh, um, the Brindleton Bay School of Design.”
“Nice. Okay, sorry, go on.”
“Right, so I was studying architecture for a bit because it was a weak area of mine, and it’s good knowledge to have because you never know what you’re going to be asked to create in gaming, y’know.”
“Is that what you always wanted to do, be a game artist?”
“Not always. When I was younger, I wanted to write graphic novels.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I only ever finished one, though. And once I finished it, I never really got the same inspiration to write another, and then I started getting into digital art and, like, 3D modeling and stuff.”
“Do you still have it? The one you finished?”
“Of course. It’s locked away at my parents’ house.”
“Can I read it sometime?”
“No,” he shakes his head, “it’s, um, too personal. I like you, but I don’t know you that well yet.”
“Fair enough. Anyway, sorry again, you were studying architecture.”
“Yeah, and I got really into it, like obsessed.”
“Like the aspens?”
“Oh, so much more than the aspens. There’s just so much, y’know. It made me want to create these whole worlds that are set in different places and in different time periods, right. And then I wanted to bring them all together somehow, so I got this idea for a video game where you have this character who travels through time in their dreams, to each of these worlds, and each one is like a level with its own story and objective, and they’re each like a piece of the puzzle of the overarching story of this character’s life. And, like, the world they visit in their dreams each night would be determined by the choices made during their waking hours, right, so the story itself can change depending on how you play. And I know it’s a lot, but I know I can design it, I’ll just never be able to make it functional. I’ve tried to learn how to code, but my brain just doesn’t work that way. And now I’m rambling, but I can’t stop talking because now I’m nervous to hear what you think. Actually, don’t tell me yet. Do you want one more drink?”
My cheeks hurt from smiling as I listen to him, completely mesmerized by the passion in his voice, and the way the energy is practically vibrating around him. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like him. And I certainly don’t want this night to end, so I say, “Yeah, just one more.”
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✨I have to give a MASSIVE thank you to @herecirmsims for making the poses for this scene!! They are absolutely perfect 😭 I am always in awe of your talent and creativity, and you've been so lovely and kind, I just adore you! Words cannot express how grateful I am! These boys are so special to me and it means the world to be able to bring these moments to life for them! 💖
#cw alcohol#it's another long one today guys#i just hate splitting these moments up and losing the vibes yknow#but it's the last super long one for a while#i mean.. as long as we agree that super long means anything over 2000 words lol#but i promise we'll be checking in with everyone else next week#i'm just being super indulgent with this chapter and don't want to break it up#i'm sure you understand 💛🩵#also if evan looks like they're giving atlas weird side-eye it's cos they are#someone's jealous#thanks to ww doing what it does best and my brain deciding to make a storyline out of it#it's now a whole thing#but this part is already so chaotic that i can't add in another thing#so i'm just sneaking bits into my screenshots to amuse myself#sorry evan.. you are v sweet but it's not gonna happen babe#n e way i've rambled enough#back to our regularly scheduled tags#ts4#ts4 simblr#ts4 story#sims 4#sims 4 storytelling#sims 4 challenge#starsignchallenge#starsignlegacychallenge#gen1 aries#aries pt4#past#atlas stephens#asher goode
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