#it’s going to be weird not having a dog in the house

[venmondiese]

WEIRD HOBBIES

-ˋˏ| summary: you meet a guy in a bar and decide to go back to his place, as weird as he might seem.

✧ | Pairing: Martin (in the modern world) x reader

✧ | word count: 2.3k

✧ | Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Oral (f/m receiving), 69 position, Martin is weird as hell but a pussy eating champ! Not beta proof<3

“So… what’s your name again?” You ask curiously, walking behind the man that holds your hand, guiding you through his home, and to his bedroom. You don’t complain, though, since you were out just for that; to get home with a handsome man. 

There was this band that you never heard of playing near your house, and it took little for your brain to convince you to go. If something good came from it, you would get fucked. If something bad came from it, well… you hoped for the first one. 

That’s how you ended up here, following a dude, which looks from head to toe like a metal head. His hair goes to his shoulders, coal black, which you assume he dyed it, and some graphic shirt with the words ‘Knotfest’ and all, wearing some metal stuff that you didn’t really know much about.

And you looked like a rock groupie, with a leather top that practically squeezed your tits and a dark jeans miniskirt with some boots. Yet, this mysterious man was still taller than you, and that was quite exciting, and a bit arousing.

“Eh, Martin” he says nonchalantly, as he grabs your hand, his bracelets really end up the detail of his fit, and you feel really horny now to lay with this dude. “Yours?”

You tell Martin your name, following him as he opens his bedroom door. To be fair, it is tidier than you imagined.

“Sorry the mess” he murmurs, moving the drone and an electric guitar out of his bed. You hum, looking around curiously, to the badly positioned posters, some rock-metal bands that you didn’t know about.

“Is that a snake?” You ask, watching the little head of the reptile in the middle of the dim light coming from outside.

“Uh- no, it’s a lizard” 

A guy with a lizard as a pet. Okay.

“What is its name?” 

“Lizard. I don’t like naming them-” 

Great. 

You look at him with a fake smile. The dick better be good you think, taking out your jacket and leaving it on a chair next to the desk.

“Be careful, spider likes to crawl near there”

You took your jacket off there, and you really hoped that he had a dog called spider because otherwise it would be strange as hell.

“Riiiiight” you say, leaving your jacket in a hanger of his opened closet. Whatever. “So… Apart from having a lizard and a spider… do you maybe also have… a cockroach?”

He lets out a huff, his lips turning upwards as he takes his shirt off. “No” Martin says. “I do have another thing, though, it’s very big”

You try to smile at his corny, cringy words. It’s for the dick. You repeat to yourself: The dick better be good. He better not finish in two minutes. He better knows how to eat pussy.

“Ha. Funny” you say as you start to take off those boots.

“How did ya meet the band?”

“Ehmm… A friend dated the brother of an ex of the bassist. I think” you say watching as he frowns his eyebrows slightly trying to make any sense as he lights up a cigarette. 

“ah, nice” he says as he lays on bed as he smokes the cigarette, taking off his shirt as he remains only in those Adidas jeans of his. “Heard the songs before?”

“Once or twice” you say looking at the CD albums stacked on top of each other messily, and you move to grab a solitude piece of paper, as you can practically feel Martin’s eyes on your ass. “I liked the vocalist, quite handsome, don’t you think?” you unwrap softly the paper, away from Martin’s eyes.

It was an address. It piqued your curiosity.

“Aye, come here” his voice is soft as he extends his hand to turn off the cigarette on the glass ashtray, which has the shape of a dragon.

You turn around and walk toward his bed, and watch how he seems eager to have you. It’s hot to have a man drooling for you like Martin is now. And his erection is the living proof of it; it was obvious against his trousers that he was rock hard. You wondered if he was leaking as well. 

You straddle his lap, a smirk forming on your lips as his hands move immediately to your thighs, cold hands moving slowly up to find their way to your ass. 

“Sit on my face” Martin murmurs, words slightly stuck between his pants

“Hm? What was that?” You ask petulantly, pretending not to have heard. 

“Come on, beautiful, sit on my face” he says, pushing your hips closer to his chest, trying to push your miniskirt up.

“Gotta take my panties off” you say softly to him, watching his lips as he licks them, savouring the ghosting taste of you.

“No, like this” he murmurs, eager to taste you. “I’ll eat you from behind even.” Martin proposes, more desperate than the last time “Please”

You might forgive cheesy comments for his eagerness. You sigh with a wide smirk, turning around as Martin places his big hands around your thighs, dragging your centre closer to his face. 

Eager was the wrong word for it; he was desperate.

His hand moved your panties to the side, and his face almost nuzzled your cunt, before starting to press his tongue on your centre. You could hear his groan of pure delight, his hands caressing the skin of your thighs and ass as he delighted himself. 

“Fuck” you said, but it was as if all the air from your lungs when out in that moan. 

Martin’s hands were keeping you still, not allowing you to move your hips to grind his face as you wanted. You could hear his moans, the way he slurped and nuzzled his face on your cunt. 

He was a pro, eating pussy as if he did it every day (maybe he did, god knows), and he didn’t seem to care for his lack of air in the matter. He was on it, devoted to eating your dripping cunt as if it was his last meal on earth.

Your hands are pressed on his stomach, and he has to forcefully let you go to breathe, and you sigh as you feel his breaths. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” You breathe softly, as you can hear how he pants, catching his breath. 

“A good pussy can make a man go feral, love” he says, moving your panties out of the way as his index and middle finger move to rub against your slit. 

He was cheesy, and it was a bit weird. Yet it couldn’t bother you less, you had been with worse men, and Martin was good in other areas…, well, at least in sex and eating out a pussy. And it was more than average, so you were up to it.

Before he decides to keep on eating you, still caressing your clit as he catches his breath, you lean a bit on his torso, to try to pull down the leather pants, opening the zipper. 

It takes you a bit, yet after accomplishing your mission, your hand grabs his dick to guide it into your warm, eager mouth. 

He was well doted, and hard as a rock. He was leaking, and his tip was a bit pink compared with the rest of his cock. 

God damn you if it didn’t make your mouth drool. Between him eating you out, and his leaking cock, you think you will go insane. He could have cheeky, cringe comments but you could live with it. You couldn’t live without him eating you out or his cock. 

You are as enthusiastic with his cock as he is. Though, you start slower. You take the head on your mouth, sucking on it as you feel him groan against your pussy. It was fucking hot, and it had you moaning on his cock. You didn’t remember the last time your legs were trembling like this, and how much you wanted to feel a dick in your throat. It was a need, a primal need.

Martin was kind and nice, had his things, but god, you need to fuck him. You might even need to have his babies by now. You wouldn’t complain if he came all inside you, filling you with his cum, and making you pregnant. Fuck, it even turned you more on. What was this man doing to you?

You took more of his dick in your mouth, trying to take all of it, not minding if you choke on it. He was hot. More than hot, in truth.

Martin was relentless with his tongue, lapping at your cunt again and again, moaning loudly against it as he could feel how deep you were taking his cock in your mouth. Your hand moved to cup his balls, as your tongue tried to swirl around his tip. It drove him insane. 

It was not long before you started to cum, moaning loudly, his dick slipping from your mouth as your thighs pressed against his face, riding his face and nose as he was making you cum. His tongue was as greedy as him, and he worked with his nose along your slit. And it made you cum hard, rolling your eyes back. “Fuck, Martin, just like that…” You say, hips grinding against his mouth in a desperate need to stretch the feeling a bit more. 

And once you finish, your mouth goes back to his cock, to keep on sucking him off. “Fuck, you feel incredible” he rasped, as you moved forward, closer to his cock and have full access, as Martin’s hips pumped upwards to fuck your mouth. 

You lay on his chest, his face back on the pillow, moaning loudly as you seem to try to drain him completely, deepthroating him as if it was nothing at all.

“Fuck, you are going to make me cum” He says, teeth gripped as his hand moves to grab a fist of your hair, to move your head down to allow him fuck your mouth deep as he wanted. His own head titles back in pure bliss and pleasure, moaning loudly as he uses your mouth as a desperate animal in need to cum. Not that you complain, it costs a bit more to breathe, and you were almost choking, but hearing Martin be so local, groaning, moaning and grunting was worth it. 

His cum soon fills your mouth, and he keeps you still, the signal clear for you to swallow all of it, as his throbbing cock unleashed his hot cum. 

“Swallow it… fuck, swallow it all, take what I give you…” he mutters in pure bliss.

As the last drops of cum are licked off his cock, he leans back and you move to his side. 

“That was great” You mutter, looking at the ceiling. How could he be so great at it?

“Yeah. Cig break and round two?”

“Hell yeah”

You are with your friend when you search the location in the paper that you found in Martin’s room. You were supposed to go to the club, you were wearing your miniskirt and a top, really to party, but that man had eaten your pussy and fucked you like no one before, so you felt entitled to find what that was for.

“It’s cold” Your friend, Tamara, says. She was chewing gum as she followed you begrudgingly. 

“It’s a fucking parking lot?” You ask looking around the empty street, the night made it lonely yet not totally isolated. 

“Your darling buries the bodies here” Your friend says, obviously judging it all. “Can we go?”

“Look, there is a car” you point out, as the car seems to be jumping around due to the movements inside. “Gods, you think they are having sex?”

“Ew, you think he has a brothel in his car?” Tamara asks you, looking at the car as you both get closer. “Eww and you fucked without a condom… You could get an IST, and die”

“It is called an STD, and… I think he is not fucking anyone” you frown slightly, getting closer.

“Careful! What if his pimp is here…?”

“He is fighting someone!” You say looking inside the car, as you find Martin pressing the head of the other guy against the window. 

Surely, Martin was a weird dude. He was corny as hell, and he had pets called like the species they were. Sure. He almost burned his hair as he smoked after sex, yes; and he also ate pussy like a champ and was hung as a horse. 

“I am going there” You tell your friends. “The dick is worth it”

“Yikes” 

As you walk closer, you feel your friend either staying behind or walking away, not that you care. 

Martin had blood trailing down his forehead, and was lying in the passenger’s seat as his thighs choked the other guy he was with, holding his head still with his hands. Okay, whatever, a guy can have hobbies.

When he sees you, he starts rolling down the window of the car, as you lean closer to his height.

“Hey, darling- how did ya–”

“A girl has her secrets” you say, smiling as you see him. God, he was sexy as hell. “I want my pussy eaten” 

Martin smirks, and he leans back to sigh at your request, as if the idea delights him. He still applies pressure to the other dude, who seems to pass out. Martin leans forward closer to your lips and whispers “Will ya’ wait ten minutes as I finish with this round?”

“Three” You bargain.

“Seven.”

“Three”

“Five and I’ll make you cum twice.” His final offer, and the time you had in mind. Offering lower than one wants always seems work to get your official deal, even with an extra.

“Deal” you accept with a smirk. 

And what if he was fighting inside a car? You fancied Martin, and sure as hell he fancied you. Even if he has weird hobbies. 

[anonymousewrites]

A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 2) Chapter Fourteen

Saiki Kusuo x Reader

Chapter Fourteen: Elderly Project

Summary: The other shoe drops with Kusuke. He just can't do things with honest intentions.

            “Kusuo, can I ask you a favor?” said Mr. Saiki, walking into the living room.

            “I have one for you. Turn around and leave,” said Saiki from where he sat reading manga. (Y/N) lay beside him, their legs slung over his lap as they read an Agatha Christie.

            “Could you take this to take this Kusuke?” asked Mr. Saiki, holding up a package. “This arrived from England for him. I forget to send them.”

            “He said you could throw them out,” lied Saiki.

            “No, he didn’t!” said Mr. Saiki. “He said he needed them now! Please, just teleport back to your grandparents’ place. I’ll buy you some sweets.”

            “Yare yare, that’s enough.” Saiki looked at his dad. “If you think you can keep bribing me with sweets—”

            “I’ll come with you so you don’t have to face Kusuke alone,” said (Y/N).

            “—you’re right.” Saiki took (Y/N)’s hand, the bag of supplies, and teleported out of his house before Mr. Saiki could say another word.

            They landed on a country road, and Saiki looked around to ascertain where they were precisely.

            “Yare yare. Teleportation is instantaneous, but why do we have to come to the middle of nowhere?” said Saiki.

            “Because no one sees you like this,” said (Y/N).

            “True,” said Saiki. “But I do wonder why he decided to live here. After a city, it’s a weird change.”

            “You don’t think he just wants to live with his grandparents?” said (Y/N).

            Saiki deadpanned.

            (Y/N) chuckled. “You’re probably right to worry. It is your brother.”

            A buzz filtered through the air, and Saiki and (Y/N) looked up.

            “Is that a drone?” said Saiki.

            “In the middle of nowhere?” said (Y/N), but they could clearly see the drone flying closer.

            “Intruders detected,” it said mechanically. “Facial recognition failed. Intruders detected.” Beeps sounded from it.

            “We’re leaving, right?” said (Y/N), sweat-dropping.

            Saiki picked them up, slung them over his shoulder, and ran. (Y/N) yelped and held onto his back. The strange drone continued to chase them through the forest as Saiki ran.

            “Why is a drone in a village full of old people?” said (Y/N), eyes wide as the drone pursued them.

            Saiki slowed to a stop when they arrived in the actual village. The town had been converted into a hyper-technological society. Holographic signs were everywhere, the doors looked like they came from a sci-fi movie, a suspended transport rail ranged between parts of the village, cameras were everywhere, and people were walking around in robotic suits or riding on segways. There was even a robotic dog.

            Saiki and (Y/N) stared at the village and the townsfolk. The place was unrecognizable. Honestly, it was creepy to see the change that had occurred over just a couple of days.

            “What’s going on here?” said Saiki, furrowing his brow and putting (Y/N) down.

            “What is this place?” said (Y/N).

            “Kusuke,” huffed Saiki. Undoubtedly, his brother was behind this. He turned and began to stalk off in search of his grandparents’ house. (Y/N) hurried after him.

            Their home was still there, but behind it was a large metallic building like a lab. Saiki went to a window and threw it open unceremoniously. He pulled himself up and in, reaching back to help (Y/N) up, too.

            Kusuke turned around in his office chair and smiled at them. “Hello, Kusuo, (Y/N). What are you doing here?”

            “We’re the ones with questions,” said Saiki.

            “Hold on,” said Kusuke, grabbing his headset before Saiki could read his mind. “Let me put on my telepath canceler.”

            “Why were you thinking about a tank shaped like a cat?” said Saiki.

            “A what now?” said (Y/N), tilting their head.

            “Don’t worry about it,” said Kusuke, waving a hand.

            “I feel like I should,” admitted (Y/N).

            “What happened to this town?” demanded Saiki.

            “Yes, it has changed, hasn’t it?” said Kusuke.

            “You’re behind this,” said Saiki, looming over Kusuke. “Did you mess with their brains or something?”

            “This change is indeed because of me, but I didn’t do anything to harm the people,” said Kusuke.

            “It has to be mind control,” said Saiki.

            “Explain yourself,” said (Y/N), putting their hands on their hips.

            “When I first got here, there was an old lady who couldn’t change her lightbulb,” explained Kusuke. “Her legs were weak, and she could barely lift her arms. Now, if you see someone in need, you’d want to help, right?”

            “Right, but what does that have to do with anything?” said Saiki.

            I knew he liked helping people, thought (Y/N), smothering their smile.

            “I helped her with a power suit,” said Kusuke as if making an entire robot suit was the normal way you helped people. “She was so happy.”

            “Why didn’t you just change the bulb?” said Saiki. “Stop giving these people weird ideas.”

            “I didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone is happy,” said Kusuke.

            “They’re all moody. Like teenagers,” said (Y/N). “Like someone I know…Who am I thinking of?”

            “Saiko, Nendou, and Kaidou because they’re idiots,” said Saiki.

            “Oh, right,” said (Y/N), brightening.

            “But new technology should be used by the elderly if anything,” said Kusuke. “They’re in need, and those are the people who should be helped first.”

            “I guess you haven’t done anything wrong,” said Saiki, furrowing his brow.

            “You don’t seem to be taking advantage of them like a lot of healthcare systems,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “Kusuke, do you have a second?” The doors of the lab slid open, and Grandpa Saiki walked in wearing a robot suit from the neck down. “Oh, you’re here, Kusuo, (L/N).”

            Saiki and (Y/N) stared in shock. Cyborg Grandpa?!

            “I’m having issues with my arm controls,” said Grandpa Saiki to Kusuke.

            Saiki snapped out of his shock and grabbed Kusuke by the collar. “How could you do this?!”

            “What?” said Kusuke “obliviously.”

            “You made him into a cyborg?” said Saiki.

            “Calm down,” said Grandpa Saiki. “Look, Kusuo, it’s a lightweight power suit. Don’t worry. I’m still human.” Kusuo was worried about me!

            “That is a very low bar,” remarked (Y/N). “We should raise it.”

            “That’s still not fine,” said Saiki, glaring at Kusuke.

            “The suit really is amazing!” said Kusuke brightly. “He can lift 100 kilograms with ease. And he can run 100 meters in five seconds. And jump over five meters!”

            “Wow,” said (Y/N) as Grandpa Saiki performed each task.

            “Okay, it’s useful, but—” Saiki deadpanned as he saw Kusuke playing with a remote control with a gleeful smile. “You’re controlling him?”

            “Oh, that’s unethical!” said (Y/N) cheerfully.

            “Next, I’ll show you have a thirty-meter drop won’t harm him,” said Kusuke excitedly.

            “Cut it out!” Saiki grabbed the remote. “He’s not a toy!”

            “Are you okay?” asked (Y/N), kneeling beside the poor old man.

            “Yes, no problem. No problem,” said Grandpa Saiki.

            “He’s turning robotic,” said Saiki.

            “Have you seen your grandmother?” asked Grandpa Saiki. “She’s been missing since this morning.”

            “That’s right,” said Saiki, looking at (Y/N). “We can get her to help us stop this madness.”

            “Oh, she’s over here,” said Kusuke, leading the group back into the lab.

            “She’s back here again?” said Grandpa Saiki.

            “Grandma, Kusuo is here,” said Kusuke.

            There was a figure floating in a strange liquid within a pod. (Y/N) and Saiki stared in shock as it drained, and Grandma Saiki stepped out. She had far fewer wrinkles and was glowing with youth.

            “Good to see you, Kusuo, (L/N)! Thank you for coming,” said Grandma Saiki.

            “Are you surprised?” said Kusuke proudly. “This machine makes you younger.”

            “I feel like you’ve surpassed my powers,” said Saiki.

            “I feel like feeding into beauty standards is unhealthy,” said (Y/N) thoughtfully.

            “My grandma is going to side with him,” muttered Saiki.

            “I feel so much younger thanks to you, Dr. Kusuke!” said Grandma Saiki happily.

            “She’s even calling him ‘doctor,’ ” said (Y/N).

            “We’ll have to stop him alone,” said Saiki.

            “This town has gotten so much better since you came, Dr. Kusuke,” said Grandma Saiki. “You’ve helped so many people here. We’re all grateful. I bragged how proud I am of you.”

            “I should be thanking them,” said Kusuke, smiling. “They’ve been helping me settle back into Japanese life.”

            Saiki paused. “Maybe I’m overreacting.”

            “You think this is okay?” said (Y/N), looking at the strange lab again. Honestly, they thought Kusuke could be growing clones somewhere.

            “I haven’t lived with him in years. Maybe he’s changed,” said Saiki.

            “What about London?” said (Y/N).

            “He always competes with me, but maybe he’s actually helping other people,” said Saiki. “Let’s go back home and relax.”

            “What? Are you leaving, Kusuo, (Y/N)?” said Kusuke. “Didn’t you come here for something?”

            “Right, I forgot. This is from Dad,” said Saiki, holding out the forgotten bag.

            “Oh, that!” Kusuke smiled. “Thank you for bringing it.” His face turned uncomfortable. “Did you look inside it?”

            “What? No, I didn’t,” said Saiki.

            “What did that fool send—Oh!” Grandpa Saiki groaned as his arm raised abruptly. “My arm is acting up!” It slammed down and hit the bag from Kusuke’s hands.

            Fear crossed Kusuke’s features as the bag hit the ground and spilled over the floor.

            “I’ll help pick it up,” said (Y/N), kneeling helpfully.

            “No, that’s okay!” said Kusuke worriedly, but (Y/N) was already picking up the papers.

            “Project GBG?” said (Y/N), tilting their head. Saiki, Grandma Saiki, and Grandpa Saiki leaned over their shoulder to look at the booklet. Kusuke watched with a blank white face.

            The booklet read: “Use age reversing machines to turn a town of elderly people into deadly weapons to eliminate the target, Kusuo Saiki. Also, equipping them with power suits will further increase their combat potential. The age reversing effects are only temporary, and multiple uses will actually accelerate the aging process. Provide the elderly with the latest technology, and they will stop thinking for themselves. This will also help abate any resistance or fear when they become full-blown weapons.”

            Everyone’s jaws dropped open, and they looked at Kusuke in shock.

            Kusuke coughed. “Well. Sorry.” He shrugged innocently, ripped off Grandpa Saiki’s power suit, threw it on, and ran out the door.

            “Come back here, Kusuke!” cried Grandma Saiki.

            “My body!” said Grandpa Saiki.

            “Give me the controller,” said Saiki.

            “Is someone going to undo all the damage Kusuke did to the town?” asked (Y/N), more concerned about that than Kusuke escaping.

            Saiki sighed. “It’s up to me.”

            “I’ll make sure you get a lot of sweets,” said (Y/N) encouragingly, patting Saiki on the back.

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[vigilskeep]

there are so many things in veilguard that have made me go "wait what??? okay i guess i have to totally rethink the character i'm roleplaying now" that it's literally impossible to guess what thing you're referring to as The Thing That Happened. obviously extremely curious to hear what it is once you've detangled it

it’s kind of like that but it’s also less that and more... okay i should probably just say it, i’m being weird and unhelpful and i need to write it out anyway so i can think

MASSIVE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT for a companion quest, do NOT say i didn’t warn you. also please don’t respond to this if you know more than me i am in distress but i still don’t want spoilers

so i just finished lucanis’ “a murder of crows” quest. and lucanis. first talon. for some reason. (this is the writing choice i’m ??? on. also i’m ??? on lucanis’ whole storyline, frankly. the writing was. well. like i said, we’re not unpicking that right now, i don’t want to get into it at this point, not the conversation i’m having.)

lifelong trauma of being in the crows and fighting to get someone in a talon’s position and keep them there -> the thing that gave sol all their diseases and made them, to be frank, fairly suicidal

viago: ultimately can handle it without them, especially with teia’s backing.

lucanis: CANNOT handle it without them. holy fuck. for like twelve hundred different reasons, unthinkable, completely laughable, that he can handle this. who is going to protect him. the only reason this could be better at keeping sol mentally stable than watching viago’s back is that they will never feel purposeless or need to go looking for an adrenaline rush, because forget crows, an ambitious blackbird could eat that man alive. he can’t scheme. he can’t even SCHEME and the very fact that he trusts sol DE RIVA demonstrates this. sol is a crow! from another house! does he have no memory at all of the fact that his own parents died in crow infighting? sol could have been playing him this whole time, it wouldn’t have even been hard, and if they were that kind of person, then right now the first talon’s house would have just fallen directly in their hands like a gift from the maker, and they can’t even say a part of themself they can’t shut off isn’t thinking about it that way! how is sol supposed to keep someone like that alive?

you see what it’s like trying to sleep while sol is having this discussion in my mind.

ahem. anyway. pathways for sol’s life assuming they indeed make it through the game:

becoming lucanis’ guard dog the way they were for viago, which (even if they could mentally handle that, which they can’t. or can they??) means switching house loyalties which would surely destroy them eventually -> bad

somehow trying to persuade lucanis to give this up, as if that wouldn’t be throwing house dellamorte completely to the dogs, which at least sol can’t imagine any crow is capable of, let alone someone so dedicated to clinging to what remains of his family that he couldn’t even kill a traitor -> bad

going ahead and leaving the crows, but sol now has to leave BOTH viago and lucanis behind and also lucanis is going to die in there because they left him to do this alone -> bad

solution: sol is back on their original “if a blighted dragon eats me by the end of this, i don’t have to experience consequences” train

and maybe they’re right and i should not worry about this because i’m painfully aware it’s VERY bold to start deciding what happens after the game at this point, when they might still get trapped in the fade or turned into paste or something. and admittedly they did know and dread the possibilities from the first moment they felt something for lucanis, which was why they so wanted it to be anyone else, because anyone else in that lighthouse could have given them a different world, and he is the one who regardless of his best or worst intentions can only tie them tighter to a burning building. and SURE, i see the solas/mythal breakup parallels of sol still leaving, i’m looking at them, that doesn’t mean i have to LIKE them

he hasn’t even kissed them. they’re doing all of this unkissed. lucanis dellamorte when i get you

again please absolutely do not respond to any of this with even the vaguest of hints if you know more about the rest of the game than me 🙏 it’s probably best if no-one responds to this at all lmao i am just thinking out loud. you can reply with a “that’s rough buddy”. for sol

[hegodamask]

It still doesn't feel real to be making this post. But we had to say goodbye to Leia last night.

She's been in my life almost as long as I've been on Tumblr. For anyone who's followed me a long time, you'll know she used to feature on this blog a lot before I started to hold back on posting more personal stuff.

Leia was stubborn, independent and definitely the boss in our house. She was the last of her litter to be homed and wailed all the way on the journey back to our house. It was probably too late to train the sass out of her by that point.

If it was dinner time, she'd let you know. If someone was approaching the house, she'd let you know before they even got to the gate. Even when our other dog, Bo grew much bigger than her, she was still the one in charge. If she were human, I always imagined her as some eccentric aristocrat who'd chase trespassers off her property with gun and then go back to eating and sleeping in her mansion all day.

But every day I'd come home from work she'd run to me for a cuddle. If you were upset, she'd know. Just her presence alone really helped my family through some tough times these past 12 years. We would take her to visit my Nana to cheer her up. And when my Nana passed away this summer she was there for us. She had had the softest fur and these big brown eyes that would comfort you through anything, and she always wanted to be with us.

Then yesterday, after being sick on and off for a little while, things took a turn for the worse. The vet said they could continue treating her, but all it would do is just prolong her life a few more days before the inevitable.

So goodbye, Leia-loo. And thank you. I'll miss you running into my room to tell me dinner's ready, I'll miss your obsession with big shopping bags and Christmas wrapping paper. I will miss having your weird, defiant little self around.

Safe travels to the big Sainsbury's bag in the sky ✨

[bunnihearted]

🐇☀️☁️🍦

[lonely--seeker]

I think I'm going insane. Lately my dreams have been so mundane, it wouldn't be weird if I wasn't just a person that has nightmares 80% of the time, so I now my dreams are so hard to distinguish from reality.

I wouldn't be able tell what was real from what not if it wasn't because last night I went to my doctor's appointment and I was handed new glasses by Harvey just to go back home and find out Laois was cooking something in my backyard.

[piknim]

I always see people say that they got a puppy from a breeder because theyll know the temperament and it wont be reactive/agressive, while saying any dog you get from the shelter will be reactive or unpredictable... but 90% of the people ive seen online with reactive dogs are "well bred" dogs from a breeder, and the owner is anti rescue/shelter

[celepeace]

Man they weren't kidding about how even if you push down emotions consciously your body will Remember

[wish-i-were-heather]

ok wait i might have woken up at 12 but imma try to make today productive 😣😣

[whiskeyswifty]

.

[theborzoiarebackintown]

I’m going to a friend’s house this weekend for new years and borzoi fun, and put together some treat bags for her dogs. Margo insisted on being my quality control team, sniffing bags, sampling treats, etc. I think she did an amazing job!!!!!

[patheticpuppyboyslut]

(not hornyposting just musing lol) so i’m a singer-songwriter and performer irl and i’m thinking about the fact that i go around on a day to day basis singing serious, professional songs that use dogs and brainwashing and cannibalism as painful heartbroken metaphors. and i’ve been doing this for years but little by little all these things i process my anguish through in songwriting, have also become how i satisfy my sex drive. and i don’t know what to do with that information i just think it’s wild!! fun fact abt me i guess. i go out there in public singing about how service is my fulfillment and calling myself a good boy and i sing about wanting to be violently torn apart and eaten and i’m like. yeah it’s a metaphor. yeah dw i’m really normal. i don’t fantasize about having my humanity stripped from me and being treated like a stupid sweet puppy barking and whining for my lovers sick and twisted pleasure what are you TALKING about. i just like the poetic imagery of it. i SWEAR.

[vivanightcity]

talking RP makes me miss my little idiot who larps as a human from a regency era novel but has no fucking idea about anything at all.

[fingertipsmp3]

Like okay. I’m glad I’m my father’s daughter but also do I have to, on every level, be my father’s daughter

[eorzeashan]

tbh the biggest lie I was fed before becoming a dog owner was that every dog was the same as the idea of a dog (dog will work for treat. dog will wag, dog will play and be exactly like a golden retriever every time) and then I got this weird creature who arguably has a more human personality than me and strays closer to cat than dog most days

[miserye]

never would i have thought in a million years that i would get close enough to my boss that he would ask me to house sit for him