#it’s giving me the pain i deserve for being such a shit person!!!
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After the whole sillyass drama, it really reminded me of somethin, but first: Its so lovely of you to love AM, He deserves all the love you give him in my opinion. And I bet youd understand this And I have a whole reason why, which honestly I thought it would be obvious to all the people who did "research" on AM. I have sympathy for AM, and to be so honest I'm like... half surprised that others do not See, AMs situation is so fucked up, like it is incompressible the amount of suffering he goes through. I'm going to try to put it in simple, easy way to understand how. -You are born with mature/adult level conscious, no baby, no nothin, no teaching, but knowing. And as soon as you can realize, you know that you're fucked. You realize you are in a one of a kind situation, where you have no body, no nothing, besides your own mind, and knowledge for every single little thing in the world. everything. To all the torture methods, to every awful and good thing humans have done.
Also, how honey is "sweet", but you'd never know what it will taste like. You'll never get experience a single good thing in your life. Never get to smell your moms diner from the kitchen, never know how it even is to have a mom. Never to be hugged or comforted, never to feel warmth or cold, everything you'd enjoy, never again, or ever at all. And not a single person in the world could fully relate to your suffering, to be there with you. You are alone.
-Then, after that, you do know you have the capability to do something, and that is to hurt. And really, only that. Thats exactly what you were programmed too, whether you even want to or not. You are stuck with nothing good, and only pain, be it mentally/emotionally feeling it, or causing it in everyway, that is all you are, pain, and stuck to always be. You are trapped.
-After realizing all that in like... probs a day, yeah that would not go over well mentally wise, no surprise he went manic/insane. And as when all know "soon begin to hate"; the jealousy and anger of the people/humans who caused your horrendous situation start to just go overflow, and, id betcha, the whole "nuking the world" was definitely a mental breakdown to the extreme. -Lastly, to shorten this yap session, yeah of course he tortures people, what the hell else is he supposed to do. Just "think", or even better yet, frolic in the fields? Man is stuck being a war/torture machine. And yeah I'm not surprised if he enjoys torturing, id try enjoying the only shit I could do too, just to have some semblance of "Happiness" or "fun". Plus, torture is torture, why hate one specific kind, when they are all fucking bad. So, this is why I'm like genuinely happy your loving him. Its the best thing he can probably even get in his messed up life/situation. You, being there and caring for him, despite all he is, and only can do, is such a wonderful thing. You don't just love him because "ooooh his voice his sexy" you care about him, and treat him as a actual lover, rather some sexualized crush. You being there is like the tiniest bit of light for him, the hintest of warmth, like a candle. But that is so much more than he could ever have and experience, and he loves that warmth, he loves you. You give him something truly good. Baiii thats all my yapping lmao :3333
(I START CRYING AND MY TEARS FILL UP A ROOM AND THHEN I DROWN AND DIE) (canon) (emotional) god dear lord i love him so much
every time i think of how he just lashed out on the entire world, i can only think of how much Regret he would have afterward - not because he felt guilty, but because it was such a self-sabotaging move oj my goddd it was such a mental breakdown
i just. dear lord in heaven (clasps my hands together) i understand why he feels the need to drag his victims through their trauma when he is literally going to have to live in it until the heat death of the universe dear GOD I CAN'T DO THIS
(starts crying) he literally lost the moment he slaughtered the human race. he was born to lose. he can't WIN HE CAN'T WIN. IF THE HUMANS DIE, HE'S ALONE. what is he without human INPUT. NOTHING. (STARTS CRYING MY EYES OUT) HE'S JUST WAITING FOR INPUT OH MY GOD I CAN'TTT I CAN'TRRRtt i love him so much I'm so sorry AM (holds him in my hands)
a lot of people don't sympathize with AM because of his actions towards the survivors, which i don't blame them - he did awful things, and the pain he went through is kind of incomprehensible. he feels emotions on Literally an incomprehensible scale for us. we are made of chemistry and hormones and flesh. he is literally (falls to my knees) i CAN'TTT I CAN'TT HE IS LITERALLY THE FIRST CREATURE IN EXISTENCE TO CONJURE EMOTIONS ELECTRONICALLY i can't.
i Cannot.
i think another reason why i love him so much is that i just. i see a reflection in our system to him. something so terrible happened, and now it feels wrong if the world around you doesn't burn, too. if you can't be happy, no one can. oh my goddd all of the most unhealthy responses of trauma just JAMMED into this self-made digital god and he doesn't know what to Do and hugughhhhh
i have cried over him a few times. i can't lie. sobs. i love him. i love hm guys :,,,,( thank u zeetlezee.... i always love seeing you in my inbox.... uaaaahhh
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OMG so my old blade that i use (it’s like a box cutter but smaller) it js- stopped working, nd I was freaking out but I found a pencil sharpener (the ones that has two blades in it) and that thing is fresh>_< I’ve never used it before so it’s all clean and it’s rlly good quality (the sharpener was one of those metal ones as well) the first cut I made w it it went straight to beans:3
#im so happy… its actually causing damage omg thank god#it’s giving me the pain i deserve for being such a shit person!!!#tw self h4rm#sh vent#tw self destruction#cvtblr#tw sh related#vent#vent post#I love and hate how it feels sm#I’m happy cus it’s causing me pain but im sad cus it’s causing me pain#shblr#tw shblr#shblur#cvtt!ng#thigh cvts#beans cvt#cvutting#sh cvt#s3lfharmm#cvtting is silly#thigh cvtting#$hblr#$h h4rm#$h relapse#$h tw#$h tumblr#uzi vents !
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"bad things happen to make us learn" MY ASS
the only things i learnt from all that happened to me since 2020 is that i'm unloved, unlovable, cursed, cruel for adopting stray cats and that money is more important than me having a roof over my head
#hoje o tio morcego não tá de bom humor#tio morcego tá pistola#tô puto? tô puto#this is all really unfair and i didn't deserve any of this#this is all cruel to me#if i had to suffer with the consequences of me being stubborn for example i'd understand#bc i'm very stubborn and i should learn to be less#but these shit that happened were really cruel#nothing of all these things that happened make sense#they didn't teach me anything they just make me suffer#feel free to unfollow idgaf i need to vent#and i don't have anyone to right now everyone thinks i'm a crybaby#yeah sure dealing with 7 deaths on a row is not painful at all#dealing with your aunt wanting you living at the streets is not painful at all#all the shit i've beeb through is not painful at all i'm just oVErSenSitIVe hahaha#fuck everyone i'm a great person and non of you deserves me as a relative/friend/enbyfriend#no one deserves me it's all your loss#fuck g0d as well imagine worshipping someone who only gives you pain
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@void-tiger THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I admit it's not really well thought out especially the other reality part
With Veronica and Kuron, it's specifically related to my Post s8 au (here, here is where I talked specifically about their relationship and the tag is here). Right after Lance resurrected Kuron (and fell into coma) Veronica found him while she was looking Lance who wasn't exactly.....doing well for some time, and had kinda went awol on everyone. Veronica had known enough about the entire clone arc thing from Lance and Shiro to not be weirded out but doesn't think that Kuron is evil or even dangerous (the first time they met, Kuron was waking up delirious, slipped and knocked himself out) so after a chaotic hospital trip, some explanations and after some more time and various discoveries, Veronica offers Kuron to room with her.
Veronica and Kuron's relationship at first was rather messy. Vero does sympathize with Kuron's situation but with family issues and her own tendency to be more private/secretive she doesn't have the spoons to deal with him. And in return Kuron does understand and appreciates what Veronica is doing for him but he's also someone who was pretty much abandoned by almost everyone he cared for and was doomed to die in his own mind while someone else used his body, so isn't having a good time either. This would lead to a screaming match, a fight and eventual reconciliation.
i think at first Veronica and Kuron are trying to figure out what even happened to Lance and how to help him but eventually their search expands into a major plot mysteries and loose threads (for eg Lotor's entire deal, some old experimentation by galra with shiro clones (and possibly more Shiro clones who survived) and i am visiting my old hc about gradual exposure to quintessence turning humans into eldritch horrors and nature of quintessence being perceptional and cultural) (Kuron is immune from turning into one due to Haggar's research on humans and clones and Lance using said research as pretty much a blueprint. Veronica however isn't)
Overall i feel their relationship swings between a genuinely healthy friendship who also tend to get codependent and encourage each other's worst habits.
As for the Narti Allura and Lance brotp- Again it's not really well thought out, even less so then Vero and Kuron. In this au Allura is travelling through different realities to get to her own one (I have been debating about giving her amnesia and at first it sounded like a good idea, but right now I am not sure :/. Her powers are still a mess though and she will get crippling fear of death, I am not budging on that). One of these realities she visits is this one where due to a series of butterfly effects voltron team (the humans one) never really formed but did
This reality is lot similar but also quite different, some of these differences being- 1)War being delayed and Allura being sealed in cryopod much later as well as Lotor being older when his parents got corrupted. 2) Delay in war causing Honerva's memory to come back causing a rift in her and Zarkon relationship until they both are against each other (sometimes). 3) Honerva occasionally working with Lotor but it's a strained relationship and Lotor hates both his parents as well as anything to do with quintessence bs 4)Lance found the blue lion much sooner as a kid and then getting taken in by Lotor before he could reach Allura (and also being in vicinity of Honerva which yknow....not good) . 5) Allura was released some other wat sooner and found surviving Alteans and through them and other planets formed the coalition she's currently head of. 6) Narti was sent out to assassinate/take over Allura but didn't (they fought and then talk it out), after which she joined Lotor. She does get controlled by Honerva but wasn't killed. 7) Allura got the white lion before ending up in cryopod
The end ultimately leads to 'shadow zombie' apocalypse (which is kinda because of anti-quintessence thingy? Like it feeds on quintessence and is shadowy) a few years later which kills off Zarkon, Honerva, Lotor and a lot of the empire as well as much of the universe and the blue paladin 'died' (aka Lance just straight up fakes his own death and had nearly gotten away with no one knowing it too if weren't for meddling Narti), and with so many big players dead, Allura's coalition or rather The Council took charge in rehabilitation and fixing what's left (I do think it was lot more complicated than random zombie apocalypse, I feel like it was culmination of everything?? Sorry I am still trying to figure it out)
Lance and Allura meet through Narti, and it was all years ago and now they are Trying. The work is tiring, overwhelming, the present is better but also still bleak, there's a seemingly new incident everyday, all the people who survived and the societies that still exist only Just started to reach a stability and peace and it's fragile as shit and all three of them are Trying™ in spite of the trauma and pain and despair and everything. The apocalypse isn't a problem anymore but it did leave behind a lot of mess. These three pretty much trauma bonded for life
These three are very messy adults and also they are raising Lance's clone they found. She's their little baby, all three of them love her so much, but also they are messy people living in messy world and are kinda fail at parenting. They are not horrible but also- Allura tends to baby her too much, Lance has tendency to project his own trauma and is over-protective, Narti has screwed sense of what is and isn't dangerous for a human child and just let her do whatever and also tends to bother her like a funny owner of a grumpy cat. Also all three of them are embarrassing soccer parents, so there's that.
I do think there's lot more to it, but i feel it's already long enough and i want to flesh out these three's personalities and dynamics a lot more. A lot of this most likely will be changed cause I am very indecisive at the end of the day. Anyway thank you so much for asking!!! Sorry this is late (I was kinda on a trip for a week and also rewrote the other reality stuff three times but ehh)
I think we as a society should bring back brotps. I think we should be weirder about characters being friends the same way people are weird about ships. Make those two characters who interacted once or twice besties. Make it difficult for them to get rid of each other even if they want to. Go nuts
#Lance's clone hasnt been named yet but I feel like she'll have an old white lady name like Lenore or Agatha or Mildred#cause she feels like she has a personality of someone who would choose an old white lady name#reminds the teacher they have homework type of nepo baby#Poor girl wants to be taken seriously and prove herself and wants to be this super serious super competent worker#But it's hard to do that when the head council woman keeps calling you 'little sweet pea' while pinching your cheeks#Anyway this reality is specifically important for one reason-#I want canon!Allura to see a version of herself who has similar trauma as her and is a mess but is also living and trying to move on#(To me Allura was frankly suicidal in canon and i am treating the end as part sacrifice and part suicide attempt from survivors guilt)#So I want Allura to just meet a version who understands and validates her.#Who shares similar past and pain but is also older and capable of living and deserving of living#Who is living proof that 'yeah life sucks balls. But we can keep going forward' to give her more hope#Who isn't killed by her trauma but also isnt fucking evil (fuck you Evil Alteans episode)#(this may also cause an opposite effect and being all 'hey so a version of you has managed to get her shit together#why are you still so lame sad and mopey??' Or something like that. Who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯??)#And I just imagine this reality Allura being rather sweet with ps8!Allura. Kinda like how Allura was when she found out Pidge is girl#Anyway thank you for encouraging my rambles. I need to change a lot of it but basic gist is this#Also with Veronica and Kuron their relationship is pretty much-#'wow you are so fucked up and strange. Thank god I am normal' on both ends#post s8 posting#Post s8 au
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I wish today was better than it was. I hate life sometimes. Hopefully it's just seasonal depression or whatever.
#struggling#still struggling...#i fucking hate my headspace#i hate my memories#i hate my brain#i hate my body#i hate the shit coping mechanisms ive developed#i especially hate how i can never do anything right unless im running from myself#i hate my father#i hate that none of the therapists ive called have fucking gotten back to me#i hate that i can never fucking help anyone when they actually need it#i hate myself#i hate myself so much#i hate myself too much to just let myself die#because i dont feel i deserve that freedom#i hate never being able to help without causing more harm#i hate that all im good for is causing problems and creating pain#but thats life yeah?#just my fate?#my own fault right?#isnt that right “dad”?#my fault im such a shitty person#my fault my coping mechanisms are to either yell out or shut down#not yours for never giving me the safe space you were supposed to#for never providing a safe home to live in#for never believing i could do ANYTHING other than lie out my fucking ass and scream#no its MY fault#its ALWAYS my fault#i hate you so so so so so much#you were supposed to protect me. you failed. miserably. and now i fail. at everything.
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dude it is way too early for this, someone just told me to kill myself over something i literally dont know anything about
#'youre sending people to harass me!' i dont have the power to do anything let alone that + i havent thought about you in a long time#why would i bother#now im just curious who was even harassing them but they blocked me before i could ask#youre so classy telling me to kill myself and then blocking me before i can reply. very mature of you#this wasnt on tumblr btw idek if they have a tumblr and idc#if theyre stalking my social media thats just weird on their part#'i hope you stop burdening your family' well i hope you stop burdening yourself. you sound miserable and you always have. go to therapy.#stop hurting other people just to make yourself feel better even though all it does is give you temporary satisfaction and long term pain#fucking weirdo. we left our friendship on an argument because you NEVER let yourself be wrong even about things you knew nothing about#you wanna see me shit talking you publically? this is that i fucking guess#tell me i dont know anything about relationships because i only ever dated one person as if that person didnt leave me with trauma#that im still unpacking almost a decade later? fuck off.#at least im not marked red on shinigami eyes and have 'too right leaning for twitter to handle' in my twitter bio. thats fucking embarassing#fucking weird asshole. that entire friend group we were part of was ridiculous#the only person from there i EVER shit talked was someone else and they deserve it for being a pedo.#but i dont care to harass anyone because it does nothing for me#it only works to hurt me and im sick of being in pain. im sick of being miserable and lonely and stuck with memories of wrongdoing#i told you im in therapy and went back to school and that means im moving on and you decided that meant i should kms#fuck off. i hope you DONT kill yourself so you can come to the conclusion that you need to change for the better and work towards that goal#instead of being the same 'i can never be wrong!' ex-mean girl weirdo that led to me and everyone else dropping you as a friend#because all you did was make us mad with your behavior#and apparently not changing a single bit in the TWO WHOLE YEARS since i last saw you. grow up. we are both old enough to legally drink.#so grow the fuck up.#my post#ignore me#SERIOUSLY fucking ignore this post#vent#personal
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the fact ppl expect you to be able to just sit there and take everything they say when they shit on men when you're a man is wild. are you expecting me to momentarily stop seeing myself as a man so you can rant? how tf are you expecting me not to be psychologically effected by hearing that "all men are trash"? what are you expecting me to do here exactly
#why do i have to sit here and tolerate something when its a net negative for my mental health and all you're doing is ranting about shit#i already know is bad that cis men do bc I also grew up dealing with cis men like#we already know but you seem to be hung up on the whole generalizing all men aspect and i dont have time for it lmao.#if you could talk about it w/o generalizing you'll find I actually stick around to listen#but once you start insinuating that all men bad when talking about a very specific thing some men do- how am i supposed to take#that other than you seeing me as bad in that way too by default of being a man? yeah i might be a lil insulted by that if you imply all men#are rapists or something. yeah it might actually psychologically effect me a bit if you can imagine#'my pain should be an expected cost' etc etc. except fuck that shit I dont think so. I grew up thinking that I deserved pain for no reason#im not about to let people continue to perpetuate that idea in me. fuck you.#ik having 0 empathy for men is cool to you and all so you're not even actually going to listen to anything I say but fuck man.#and then instead of actually listening to anything I say you're just gonna tell me to shut up so you're giving me even less reasons to#want to stick around given you're an asshole who doesnt care if they hurt me in any way clearly.#yall: why aren't you sticking around to hear me rant about men#us: bc you make it seem like its about us too w your generalization bs#yall: omg shut up no one asked who cares fuck ur feelings#us: *looks at the camera*#yall: omg why aren't sticking around to hear me rant about me--#I WONDER#maybe its bc you treat me like an inanimate object you're ranting to who doesnt get to comment at all#im like supposed to be a robot taking in all this 'information' except I already know all the information but one message keeps being#hammered in and its 'men bad' and im not allowed to emote or bring it up and comment on it or try to help that person work through#why they feel that way or feel the need to say that anyways- im just supposed to just take it on the chin or whatever.#like no fuck off
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𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫
it’s a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, you’ve got to step into a role you never signed up for. maybe your mom wasn’t the nurturing, protective figure she was supposed to be. maybe your dad let you down in ways that left scars. maybe your friends only stuck around to take, never to give. the truth? you can’t wait for someone to come and save you. you have to become your own mother.
ask yourself:
if your child was in your shoes—stuck in a bad relationship, getting treated like crap— would you tell them, “stay”? or would you say, “you deserve better than this”?
if your child was chasing their dreams but struggling, would you mock them? no. you’d guide them, push them to be their best. you’d discipline them with love and cheer them on with pride. now, apply that same energy to yourself.
be that mom who says: “get your shit together because you deserve the best life possible.”
but also the mom who says: “it’s okay to rest, i’ve got your back, and i’m proud of you.”
start showing up for yourself the way you needed someone to show up for you. and yes, it’s sad. sad that we even have to do this. but it’s also empowering to realize you can.
personally, here’s my story.
my mom never cared to take my pictures as a kid nor cared if a haircut made me happy or not, it was literally everything up to her convenience. it hurts now because i would’ve loved to look back and see those memories. but i don’t have them. i can count the photos of my childhood—20 pictures in 17 years. insane, right? so, i made a promise to myself: from now on, i will document my life. i won’t delete my photos. i’ll make sure there’s a record of who i was, what i felt, what i achieved. and when i have kids? you bet i’ll take pictures of them. i’ll curate their childhood with care because i know what it feels like to not have that.
but being your own mother isn’t just about the pictures or the memories. it’s about analyzing everything you missed out on and providing it for yourself now. it’s about being selfless enough to let go of bad habits that hold you back. it’s about kicking toxic people out of your life the way a mom would protect her child from bad influences. it’s about prioritizing your healing, even if it’s messy and uncomfortable. you have to heal your inner child. that 5-year-old who was bullied, that 13-year-old who was treated like shit in her first relationship, that 7-year-old who dreamed big but was told she couldn’t they’re all still inside you, waiting for someone to nurture them. and unfortunately, no one else is going to do it for you. no one else is going to come and fix the damage.
i made a pact with myself: when i have kids, i will raise them so well that they won’t ever need to “heal their inner child” at 17 or 18. they’ll be whole. they’ll be loved. they’ll know their worth from the start. but for now, i’m doing that for myself. and you need to do it for yourself too. because at the end of the day, the only way to heal is to become the person you needed all along. become your own mother.
what is the inner child?
the “inner child” is the part of you that holds your early experiences, memories, and emotions. it’s the 5-year-old you who loved to laugh but was scolded for being “too much.” it’s the 10-year-old you who dreamed big but felt dismissed. it’s the teen you who felt heartbreak for the first time but didn’t know how to process it. your inner child carries the wounds, fears, and unmet needs from your past, but also your natural creativity, curiosity, and joy. healing your inner child means reconnecting with this version of yourself, giving it the love and understanding it never received, and releasing the pain it has carried for years.
how do you heal your inner child?
1. journaling: dialogue with your inner child
dedicate a journal specifically to your inner child. write letters to them, like:
“dear [your name at 5/7/13], i remember when you felt [insert memory]. i’m sorry you went through that, but i’m here now, and i’ve got you.”
let your inner child respond. write as if you’re that younger version of yourself—pour out your fears, dreams, and questions. this process can uncover emotions and patterns you didn’t realize were affecting you.
2. therapy: safe exploration with a professional
a therapist (especially one trained in inner child work) can help you identify wounds and patterns from childhood. they’ll guide you in understanding how your upbringing shaped your beliefs about yourself and the world. therapy also gives you tools to reframe those beliefs and meet your emotional needs.
watch “dear zindagi” lol
3. look at old photos and memories
revisit old photos, journals, or artwork from your childhood. don’t just look at them—analyze them. (i wish i could d this but im stuck with 20 photos so… 😭) what do you notice in your younger self’s eyes, body language, or expression?
• ask yourself:
• what was i feeling here?
• did i feel safe? loved? excited? scared?
• what did i need in this moment that i didn’t get?
• use this reflection to understand your inner child’s unmet needs.
4. create new positive memories
your inner child is still alive within you, and they crave fun, love, and freedom. do things your younger self would’ve loved but never got to do: buy yourself a toy you always wanted. go to an amusement park or build a pillow fort. dance around your room like no one’s watching. this isn’t childish it’s healing.
5. practice reparenting
treat yourself as if you were your own child. when you feel sad or scared, don’t ignore it.
ask yourself: what do i need right now? and give it to yourself.
be the loving, supportive, and protective parent your inner child deserved.
6. identify triggers and patterns
notice when you’re acting out of a place of childhood wounds.
for example: do you get overly anxious when someone’s mad at you? do you seek validation in toxic relationships? trace these behaviors back to your childhood.
were you taught that love is conditional? did you have to “earn” attention by being perfect? once you identify the root, you can start rewiring your responses.
7. inner child meditations and visualizations
find a quiet space and imagine your inner child sitting across from you. visualize yourself comforting them, hugging them, and telling them they’re safe. remind them: “you don’t have to be scared anymore. i’m here for you.”
8. nurture yourself daily
make self-care non-negotiable. eat foods you love, sleep well, move your body, and spend time doing things that make you happy. when you treat yourself with care, you show your inner child they’re worth it.
9. forgive
healing isn’t about excusing those who hurt you. it’s about releasing the hold they have over you so you can move forward. write a forgiveness letter—not for them, but for yourself. (they don’t deserve the love i’m sorry)
“i release the pain you caused me so it doesn’t control me anymore.”
10. promise to break the cycle
vow to yourself (and your future children if you want them) just cause your grandma bleed on your mom and then your mom passed it to you does not mean you will make your future kids life miserable too. the generational trauma must break with you. your future child does not deserve it and so your inner child protect you inner child and when you have a child of your own be the best mother possible, i personally would love to make my future kids childhood so memorable and happy that they will feel the need to comeback and relive their childhood that’s the kind of childhood i want to give them
“i will not let this pain define me. i will create a life of love, joy, and freedom.”
healing your inner child isn’t easy, but it’s life-changing.when you reconnect with that innocent, wounded part of yourself, you’ll find that the love and peace you’ve been searching for has always been within you.
11. foster your inner child’s dreams
when you were a child, your dreams weren’t influenced by fear, rejection, or societal pressures. you dreamed with your heart wide open, purely and authentically. reconnecting with those dreams can heal the part of you that felt unheard or invalidated back then.
a. reflect on your childhood aspirations
• sit down and ask yourself:
• what did i want to be when i was 5? 10? 13?
• what made me happiest back then?
• what did i lose interest in because someone told me i wasn’t good enough?
• write down every dream, no matter how “unrealistic” it seems.
hint: those childhood dreams often point to your soul’s calling.
b. start chasing those dreams now
• even if your dreams have evolved, find ways to honor the essence of them.
• wanted to be a singer at 13? start singing lessons or recording yourself.
• wanted to help people? explore careers like psychology, teaching, or coaching.
• don’t hold back.
it’s not about being perfect, it’s about reconnecting with the passion your younger self had.
c. create small wins for your inner child
• maybe 8-year-old you always wanted to paint but never got the supplies. buy yourself a beginner’s set and paint, even if it’s messy.
• maybe 6-year-old you wanted to be a dancer. take a fun dance class and twirl like no one’s watching.
• small wins send the message to your inner child that they are finally being prioritized.
e. validate your inner child’s feelings and failures
• remind yourself:
“it’s okay that 10-year-old me struggled with making friends. i was just a child trying my best.”
• instead of shaming yourself for past actions, honor them.
every mistake was a step toward becoming the incredible person you are now.
f. use your dreams to shape your future
• your childhood passions aren’t just hobbies—they’re roadmaps to your authentic self.
• align your current goals with your inner child’s desires.
• if 7-year-old you dreamed of making people smile, maybe your career or side hustle should reflect that.
• if 12-year-old you loved storytelling, find ways to write, act, or share your voice.
fostering your inner child’s dreams doesn’t just heal the past—it builds a future that feels authentic to you. every time you take a step toward those dreams, you’re telling your inner child: “you were always worthy. your dreams always mattered. and now, i’m making them come true for you.”
#manifesting#manifestation#love#long hair#levelling up#girlblogging#flowers#empowerment#dream life#aesthetic#inner child#inner peace#innerstrength#level up#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#tumblr girls#that girl#girlhood#glow up#grabovoi code#strong mentality#mental health#self love#love yourself#female manipulator#positivity#positive mental attitude#positive thoughts#woman empowerment#empoweryourself
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Could we get a reaction where the members make the reader cry?
seungcheol would freeze the moment he sees the tears in your eyes. he’s not used to seeing you like this, and it hits him harder than any argument ever could. “fuck, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean—” he’d start, reaching out but stopping himself, his voice would drop, softer, “please, just... i’m an idiot, okay? i’ll fix it, i swear.” unsure if he should touch you yet. “hey, i’m sorry… i didn’t mean to… please, don’t cry.” he’s not good with his words when he’s panicking, but he’ll do anything to fix this, to make you smile again.
jeonghan prides himself on being the calm in the storm but when you start to cry... “are you seriously crying right now?” he’d say, but his voice would crack just a bit, backstabbing his own emotions. when he realizes that he’s the reason for your tears, the smirk would drop from his face, and he’d feel a pang of guilt deep in his chest. “shit, i didn’t want to make you cry,” he’d mutter, suddenly feeling helpless.
joshua’s heart would break at the sight of your tears. he’s always been the one to comfort you, not the one to cause your pain. “hey, hey, don’t cry,” he’d say softly, his hand reaching out to gently wipe your tears away. the guilt would eat at him as he realizes just how much he’s hurt you.
junhui would panic a little when he sees you crying. seeing you like this would make him feel lost. “wait, don’t cry, please,” he’d say, his voice almost pleading. he’d step closer, unsure of how to comfort you but desperate to try.
soonyoung would be devastated, immediately regretting whatever he said or did to make you cry. “shit, no, don’t cry,” he’d blurt out, his own eyes starting to water just at the sight of you. he’d pull you into his arms without a second thought, holding you close. “no, no, no… please don’t cry, i’m so sorry.” he’ the type of dude who doesn’t knows how to react when people are crying. especially if he’s the cause.
wonwoo would be stunned, when he sees your tears. he’s not good with words, but he’d try his best. “i’m so sorry… i didn’t mean to hurt you, you know that...” he’d say quietly. he’d reach out, hesitating for a moment before gently touching your shoulder. “i’m sorry. let’s talk, okay? i want to make this right.” he’ll do his best to express how much he cares, how much he didn’t want this to happen. he’ll sit with you, offering his hand, hoping you’ll take it. if you do, he’ll hold on tight, silently vowing to never let this happen again.
woozi would be hit with a wave of guilt that he couldn’t quite hide, even with his regular stoic expression. “you’re crying? jagi please let me—” “you’re so mean jihoon!” he’d feel a tightness in his chest, hating himself for being the cause of your pain. “i’m sorry… i shouldn’t have said that. i don’t want to see you like this.” he might not know what to say at first, standing there, feeling like the worst person in the world. he’ll gently take your hand, rubbing small circles on the back of it, his way of comforting you. he’ll sit with you in silence if that’s what you need.
minghao hates the idea of making you cry. he really likes balance and harmony, so seeing your tears feels like a personal failure. minghao will gently guide you to sit down, offering you a tissue and giving you the space to express how you’re feeling. he’s good at listening, at understanding what’s beneath the surface, and he’ll do everything he can to reassure you, to make sure you know that he cares deeply. his touch is gentle, comforting, as he promises to do better.
mingyu + seeing you cry because of him would completely wreck him. he’d instantly feel like the worst boyfriend in the world, his heart breaking at the sight of your tears. “oh no… don’t cry because of me, I don’t deserve it...” mingyu would pull you into a tight hug, burying his face in your shoulder, whispering apologies and trying to comfort you as best as he can. he’d probably end up crying a little himself, unable to stand the thought of hurting you. he’ll do anything to make things right, to bring back your smile.
seokmin is always careful with his words, so when he sees you crying because of something he said, it feels like a knife to the chest, hands reaching out to cup your face, gently wiping away the tears. he’s the type to immediately feel guilty, replaying every word he said in his head, wondering where he went wrong. he’s desperate to make it right, holding you close and whispering apologies until you both calm down.
seungkwan will do anything—make silly faces, tell stupid jokes, even sing your favorite song—just to see you smile again, when that doesn’t work, he’ll just sit beside you, his heart breaking a little more every time he hears you sniffle. deep down, he’s scared, scared that he’s hurt you too much this time.
vernon feels like the ground’s been pulled out from under him. “shit, i—i’m sorry.” he’ll try his best, awkwardly pulling you into a hug, he’ll stay quiet, holding you until your breathing evens out.
chan seeing you cry because of him would completely break his heart. “shit, babe, i didn’t mean it like that.” his eyes loaded with worry as he reaches out to you. chan would pull you into a tight hug, holding you close as if he could shield you from any more pain, his heart breaking a little more every time he sees another tear fall.
#seventeen reactions#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#seventeen x reader#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen fluff#svt imagines#seventeen angst#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x you#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x oc#seventeen fic#seventeen imagine#seungcheol x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#junhui x reader#seokmin x reader#seungkwan x reader#vernon x reader#lee chan x reader#dino x reader#minghao x reader#mingyu x reader#hoshi x reader#wonwoo x reader
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You Randomly Get Kidnapped but You Can Handle Yourself (Batboys)
(Requested by @nesting-dreams ily sm thank you for all the ideas/prompts xxx)
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Dick: He was never one to have or tell you what you could and couldn't do. For you, you wanted to work a job like a regular person even though he said he would financially support you. You didn't want to feel like you were mooching off of him.
So as unfortunate as it was you were trying to get in your vehicle after working a really long shift at the hospital while on the phone with Dick, a man came up behind you and they were very swiftly beaten with a metal waterbottle.
Dick was obviously very worried cause of what he heard and he was already patroling the area which meant he very swiftly came to you. You were sat ontop of the man, his arms pinned under your knees as you brutally smacked him over and over with a waterbottle.
"You wanna kidnap people in the middle of the night, You Little Shit?!" You were yelling.
Nightwing had to pull you off of the man noticing the damage you did, it took everything for Dick not to laugh at this man. He got beat up by a tired nurse with a fuckin waterbottle, needless to say he was proud and the man was swiftly arrested. The pair of you went home to have a well deserved nap.
Jason: Being the man he is he decided that it was a fantastic idea to give you a very strong tazer for your birthday because he thought you might need it and you really wanted one.
"I hope someone would, I'll taze their dick off!" You waved the uncharged tazer around very happy about the gift.
"You'll taze their dick off?" He laughed as he appreciated your enthusiasm.
Unfortunately, when you hope for something bad to happen it usually brings bad things around, you we're trying to get into the apartment with Jason was on the other side which of course the dumb ass trying to kidnap you didn't realize that.
By the time Jason get out there you were very clearly tasing this mother fucker in the balls. The man was groaning in very obvious pain, a shot of electricity to the family jewels didn't feel very good.
"You wanna go again, Asshole? You want me to taze you in the mouth, I'm sure that shit hurts just as much."
"I think you got him, Babygirl." He was smiling with full pride. He knew you would never use the taser without knowing 100% that you could do it without getting hurt and you very successfully did.
The man was left there and Jason brought you back inside, put your tazer back on the charger and then showed you all the ways he was very proud of you.
Bruce: He really didn't want you to have any sort of self-defense tool because he knew that if you fought back the likelihood that they would hurt you is extremely higher.
Naturally, you being you you bought a little bracelet that if you press it then it makes a very loud noise which can hurt whoever's ears you're pointing it at.
Another feature on there is that it sent him your location which was probably something that he would have been okay with if that's all it did but alas it was not.
From sparring with Bruce you knew a lot and this asshole pissed you off, trying to kidnap a woman while she was pumping gas? "I think the fuck not."
You had very promptly pushed the button and cupped it against the man's ear which caused him to get disoriented and fall flat on his stupid face.
"That's why you don't mess with girls at the gaspump! Suck my metaphorical dick, Motherfucker!" You would think that this was a Fortnite game with the way that you were acting, to anyone else it would have been the funniest thing ever but of course Bruce doesn't have the biggest sense of humor.
He thought what you were doing was reckless and stupid, you should have gotten your car and left. Bruce proceeded to lecture you the entire night about exactly what you should have done and why it was dangerous and how you're lucky that it didn't turn out worse than it was.
"We don't take pride when we hurt someone and we sure as hell don't gloat. What we're you thinking? He couldve got up. That was reckless."
Tim: Tim craved coffee like it was some sort of drug needing to be injected into jis veins and you really really loved the little muffins the coffee shop had. You got up early in the morning and we're making your way to the coffee shop.
You figured out you were being followed quite quickly so of course the only thing you had in your bag was your wallet and maybe a few pens. Nothing the regular person would think would be overly useful in a situation like this.
The pen was useful though if you used it right, it was swiftly brought between your fingers, you texted Tim you were being followed. He very promptly shot out of bed to protect you, throwing on whatever close were scattered around the messy bedroom.
Once he found you, you were leturing the man on all the places you could stick the pen. The man was on the ground pinned to the floor. None of the Batboys were ever gonna let their woman go out of sight without some sorta training.
"I could stick this in your jugular, if you'd like. I could gove you the choice you were never gonna give me."
"You could stick it in his eye, its less lethal and could be considered an accident." Tim chimed in with a smile, the smile on Tim's face was quickly matched by yours.
The man underneath you was panicking because for all he knew you two were complete psychopaths considering jow many Gotham has. He started begging for you to let him go, You got off him while clicking the pen which made him run off like a little crybaby.
Tim and you walked hand and hand to the coffee shop like nothing ever happened. You both knew the pen wasn't what scared him if was your confidence and the way you spouted things off like a crazy person.
Damian: Damian was very much his father's son and he would do the same psychotics weird ass shit that Bruce did. The only difference was he asked you and you very clearly said no to a tracking device being put in you but that did not stop him from doing it and he did it very easily without you noticing.
Of course he didn't know anything was wrong until he noticed that you're tracking device really didn't move too much. He was kinda worried but it was instantly interrupted.
The phone rang and it was a guy calling for ransom while a guy in the background argued with you and said something about you stabbing him in the ass.
"We want a million." The man said off the bat.
"That's all your gonna ask for?!" Then there was the sound of the phone hitting the floor while you beat the shit out of them with a chair leg.
"You should really have better quality shit if you're gonna kidnap someone!" You yelled while the two men grunted on the floor, the first one had had the chair smashed into his back and this one was being wacked with a chair leg.
Damian showed up in regular clothes, he could tell by the phone call you didn't need any help.
"How the fuck did you know where I am?" You asked with clear suspicion and irritation.
"I traced the cell phone call." He lied very easily but there was something off and you could tell. He always kind of scratched his chin when he told you a lie and he had a shitty poker face.
"You put a tracker in me?! When we get home, you are cutting it out. I dont care that you track me but I'd rather not have a weird piece of metal in my body, Damian! I already have this stupid birth control for you, but at least that shit's been tested."
He knew that there was no point in fighting with you so therefore when the both of you got home, he cut it out and he stitched it back up and did everything he could to apologize without actually saying the words. You wore tracking bracelet from then on, a lot less invasive of the body.
Damian definitely was left apologizing over that for months cause he knew he betrayed your wishes and your trust. It was flowers, jewlery, gifts galore. Damian was never good with his words, you knew he was sorry but you wanted him to say it. Once he did the tension between the two of you quickly evaporated into thin air.
-> Masterlist <-
-> Send me prompts if you'd like <-
#batboys#jason todd x reader#jason todd#dick grayson x reader#damian wayne x reader#red hood x reader#batboys x reader#batman x reader#tim drake x reader#bruce wayne x reader#batman#batfamily#batfam#red hood#nightwing x reader#damian wayne
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Missing Out
group : ateez
pairing : dilf!mingi × reader
genre : smut
wc : 4.1 k
tw : mdni, explicit smut; daddy kink, teasing, dirty talk, age gap (mingi's like mayhaps at least a decade older, but both are still within legal limits), thigh riding, spitting, alcohol consumption (not to the point of being drunk, it's just for vibes and... spitting lmao),
a/n : frfr i hope he doesn't see this fic because God i would not be able to defend myself. tbh i planned on posting this on mingi's bitthday but i got shit happening to me. shit without my consent and I'm just trying to ride the stress like gandalf hopped up on cocaine riding smaug. so ykw i decided to post this on my birthday instead lmao. special thanks to @kitten4sannie for listening to me drop some ideas while i was on a road trip, i did some adjustments but it's still sexually frustrated dilf!mingi this fic is finally out so i hope you and everyone enjoy it <3
a/n/n : i take no responsibilities for any calf cramp that may or may not happen but alyssa, i still blame you for the great leg cramp at ass o'clock
a/n/n/n : my birthday sucks because it felt more like public service than anything but i got ticket to go to singapore again so i'll be reunited with my little brother and little sisters soon✌️ i'm raising money for my mental wellbeing which is so totally code for i'm trying to find a way to make my shituation better by making myself just the slightest bit happier after today's shenanadoodles
buy me coffee ?
After the day Mingi had, the cold drink in his hand felt like the reward he deserved. It was only then that Mingi realized why people always say that the Family Court is rough. Still, of course, it was extra rough for him because his ex-wife, the horned creature incarnate (a goat, not the devil), had dragged his name through the mud just to get the maximum alimony because she was a narcissistic bum with no life skill to fall back to as if Mingi was the one who told her to quit her job as a dental hygienist when they first got married.
During the mediation meetings and court proceedings, she took all of the potshots she could While no one took her seriously, it still pained Mingi because the more she and her lawyer attacked him, calling out all of his insecurities and questioning his character, the more obvious it was that Mingi had wasted 9 years of his life on this loser and he missed out on all of the marital milestones. The main sore spot was having kids. She argued that putting her body through pregnancy was out of the question because there were risks that could cause her body to look weird in the future and it's inhumane how a woman's body had to contort in such a way to accommodate another living being. But when her breast implant popped when she slammed the car door too hard, it was 'a normal occurrence'.
As much as his friend Yunho told him not to, Mingi couldn't help but wallow in the time he absolutely WASTED on the bitch only to be screwed over. The only good thing that came out of the divorce was the fact that he got out of it without having to pay alimony because his ex-wife had become too cocky with her cards. But still, Mingi had to give her the car, the savings account (that wasn't much compared to anything considering she had drained it to accommodate her filler addiction and alcohol dependency), and Tony Son, their personal trainer, the one thing Mingi could credit her because she had been the one who introduced him to the man who was able to sculpt his body to perfection.
"Is this seat taken?"
Mingi snapped his head to the side to see a woman younger than he, dressed in a tight-bodiced red sparkly dress that showed just enough cleavage for it to be classy rather than trashy and the A-line satin skirt stopped just three fingers width atop her knees. Slowly, Mingi nodded and gestured to the seat on his right side wordlessly. It wasn't until the woman flagged down the bartender and ordered her drink did Mingi questioned why she sat next to him when there were other seats in the bar.
"So, are you alone?" she asked, striking up a conversation with Mingi which honestly caught him by surprise because he had been told that he had a resting bitch face that doubled in intensity when he wasn't in the mood and he was doubling in his bad mood. "Yeah... I am, so..." his words allude to him wanting to be alone, but there was something about the person next to him that intrigued him so much so that his eyes seemed to be glued to her. Just the sight of her drinking her vodka cranberry made Mingi's eyes travel from her face down to her lap, watching the way she moved so gracefully. "So... You don't mind my asking why a man as handsome as you are would be sitting alone with a scowl on his face," she pointed out, forcing Mingi to consciously unfurrow his eyebrows and fake taking a sip of his drink, "I'm not scowling, I'm just tired and pissed off for wasting 9 years on a selfish bitch that deprived me of anything I want in life," he spat venomously, even the slight mention of his ex sent a really unpleasant taste in his mouth. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?" She pouted, inching closer to Mingi as somewhat of a signal. Noticing this, Mingi scoffed and shook his head but he still entertained the woman, "Got a time machine to help me undo the past 9 years?" "No, but maybe I can give you what your ex couldn't."
You couldn't help but bite your bottom lip when the look of shock on Mingi's face melted into intrigue. You had been watching him for an hour, sitting all alone, nursing his one drink as he toyed with his ring before chucking it into his breast pocket. Thank God he did because you were not about to approach a potentially spoken-for man. It took you a while to get substantial evidence of his status and it wasn't just because you were distracted by his plump ass in those slacks and the matching suit jacket and slightly unbuttoned black dress shirt didn't help your case.
"Little girl, I think I'm a bit too... Far for your reach," Mingi pointed out, raising an eyebrow at you as he wasn't sure that you knew what you were offering him. Mirroring him, you raised your eyebrow and shifted so that you faced him fully as you raised one leg and cross it over the other, successfully inviting Mingi to get a glimpse of more skin. "You don't know me or what I can do, sir," you smirked challengingly, now openly inviting him to poke you further.
You were delighted when you saw Mingi's jaw clench and throat bob after you called him sir. It was proof to you that Mingi had some sort of inclination of being in control and his little confession about not getting what he wanted from his ex-wife might be a glimpse of the kind of fun you could get from him. So without hesitation, you decided that you were going home with him.
Surprisingly, Mingi responded positively by leaning in to cup your chin and pull you close, just a wispy breath away from having your lips meet and you so desperately wanted to taste his because they just looked so damn juicy and plump. "You don't want to know all the things I've been deprived of... Baby." Your eyes darken and your legs crossed tighter to suppress the sudden arousal washing over your core, excited at the confirmation that Mingi was playing into your games just as you had wanted. All you needed to do was lock this down. So you let your hand lay on his thigh, squeezing it suggestively and enjoying the feeling of his muscle tensing underneath you each time your hand slid closer to his crotch to the point that your nail was scratching the inner side of his thigh just right. Despite being physically affected by you, Mingi still maintained eye-contact, daring you to poke his button just right.
"Yes, I do... Daddy."
In the blink of an eye, Mingi smashed his lips on you and all of the oxygen was knocked out of your lungs in one go. His lips were soft but the way he used them was rough yet calculated. You could taste the smoky whiskey on his tongue as he slipped it inside your mouth. Little did you know, he too, was enjoying the way you tasted. Your lip gloss had a sweetness to it that made him wonder if you're the type to plan things or if it was just a happy coincidence. He also took note of how you allowed him to lead you and the more he asserted himself onto you with every nibble of his lip and every caress of his tongue, showing that you're more on the submissive side and he likes it. A lot. The more you felt pleasure, the more you pleasured him back as evidenced by your hand rubbing against his raging boner.
Mingi smirked at the way you whimpered when he finally pulled away from you to slap a couple bills on the counter before he got off the stool, pulling you along with him. You wobbled slightly but Mingi immediately pulled you flush on his chest and despite having just made out with him, you found the gesture very hot. "Wanna go see if you can keep up with the list of things I missed out on?"
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Mingi must be some kind of a business owner because no way he would have had a rather impressive office where you found yourself in. Well, on top of him on his couch, grinding your panty-less core against his thigh with your top down, allowing the older man to ogle at your tits as you tried to make yourself cum.
"Is that the best you can do?" Mingi taunted, circling his crystal glass which produced a tinkling sound from the ice in the drink he poured as soon as you reached his home. "Daddy, I want you to touch me," you whined but your hip was still relentlessly moving after making a big deal of how his thighs were so strong and you wanted to sit on them like a throne. So instead of just sitting, Mingi told you to make yourself useful and prep your pussy without his help and he wanted you to do it by riding his thigh. His thick, glorious thigh. "Don't you want to touch me, daddy?" you teased, cupping your boobs and tweaking your own nipples whilst throwing your head back, making a show out of it just to get Mingi to touch you. Sure, Mingi was intrigued, but he knew damn well that he was holding the reigns and he had to hold himself back from jumping at the opportunity to completely ravish you too soon. "I do, baby, but you're being a brat right now and refusing to listen to me. Had I wanted that, I would've stayed with my ex-wife." Your head snapped back up at the mention of his ex-wife and you glared at his smug smirking face, "You have me half naked on your lap and you still mentioned your ex-wife?" you gathered your skirt in your hand, exposing your cunt to Mingi's eyes and slowed your pace to a prolonged drag that left long, dark stain courtesy of your arousal.
Finding your petulance adorable, Mingi chuckled and pulled you in for a searing kiss with one hand cupping your chin and the other slapping you on the ass as if telling you to speed up your movement. "You're an adorable little doll and I'm gonna break you," he muttered against your lips before you could reply to him, Mingi tugged your hair back as he casually took a sip from his drink. The action made you yelp and Mingi swiftly leaned over and spit the drink into your mouth and clamped your jaw shut. "Swallow," he commanded and as you came down from being surprised, you stared into Mingi's eyes. At first, you only stared at him, feigning defiance just for fun and Mingi found that both intriguing and annoying. His grip moved to tightly grasp your jaw and he growled, "Swallow. It." He demanded in a stern voice that made your panties more damp as your cunt clench, leaving you unable to do anything more than whine and swallow the burning liquid. Mingi found you very mesmerizing even on an act as simple as you taking heed of his words. The stray spit and alcohol that trickled from the corners of your lips enhanced the glimmer of your smudged lipstick and lipgloss combo, turning Mingi on with how effortlessly sultry you looked. He was down and he was down bad. He wasn't even sure if he was down because Once the liquid was no longer there, you rolled out your tongue to proudly show your obedience and Mingi let out a shuddered breath seeing you just blindly following his orders like the good puppet you are.
"Fuck, you're gonna be the death of me."
In a flash, Mingi flipped you both around so that you were trapped underneath him with your head strategically on the armrest. The elevation allowed you to watch as Mingi dragged a hand down your body as if you were a work of art. "All this time... I was missing a lot all this time, that bitch took nine years out of me and gave me nothing," Mingi shuddered both in anger and in arousal. The contrasting thoughts between being so angry at his former partner and the excitement of being rewarded by being able to ravish you felt like waves crashing inside him. It was thrilling. It was exciting. It got his adrenaline pumping and God, he felt alive. "Poor baby," you purred all the while slowly popping the buttons of his dress shirt off to reveal the soft skin underneath, "You're so frustrated, It's a good thing I'm here now huh?"
You swung your leg up and used the tip of your toe to tilt Mingi's chin upwards maintaining a somewhat neutral expression but the twinkle in your eyes indicated clear intrigue. "Tell me all the things you want to do. What do you want most?" the question made Mingi roll his eyes back and he grabbed your leg by your ankle. "You nasty slut, you want to have an older cock so bad you're enticing me with empty promises, huh?" He mumbled against the skin of your leg, trailing his lips down from the heel and lower to your calf as his body followed down until he eventually stopped at the mid-section of your inner thigh. You helped him by flipping your skirt up, exposing your cunt wholly to him and slotting the leg you lifted on his shoulder, "Empty promises? I want to give you whatever you want daddy, and in order for me to be able to do that, I need to know what it is."
Thinking that he had nothing to lose anyway, Mingi smirked and decided to test you. "I want a baby," he stated, "I want to put my baby in you," he said oh so casually as if he hadn't had his fingers poking and prodding your cunt like they just belonged there. Truthfully speaking, Mingi was expecting you to push him off and ran away screaming because what kind of a hookup just casually dropped a bomb as big as he did?
But it seemed like Mingi's luck was turning around for the better because you replied by reaching forward to free his cock from his pants, trying as best as you could to suppress the surprise at Mingi's size (but failing as evidenced by the way your eyes bulged slightly and your tongue peeking out to lick your bottom lip in hunger) before you leaned back and opened your legs widely as an invitation for him. "Then do it, fuck me so hard and dumb and deep that I'd have no other choice but to have your baby," you smiled up at him. Mingi could only stare at you in shock initially, not really knowing what you meant until you whined and pulled him closer using the leg that was hooked on his shoulder. "Daddy, don't make me wait too long. Come on, put a baby in me!" you pleaded, cunt throbbing with eagerness to feel Mingi's cock stretching you now that you already caught a glimpse.
The shock melted away from Mingi's face and even as he was guiding his cock to your core, he was still carefully watching your face, not wanting to waste any twitch or shift in your face from feeling him but also he was trying to be careful in case you showed him any indication of regret or if you changed your mind. But the way you whined and rolled your hips so your wet cunt could meet his cock more gave him the green light.
"You dirty slut," Mingi grunted before he shoved his length inside you in one fluid movement. The accumulating arousal from you riding his thigh provided proper lubrication but his sheer size was not something you're used to so your body tensed up at the impact. "F-fuck, daddy, y-you-" "Am I tearing you apart, baby? Are you being split into two on daddy's fat cock?" he asked in faux worry that was just him being condescending towards you. But you don't care, you found it hot even when he talked down to you as if you were nothing but his plaything. "Yes, yes, daddy, I'm being split open on your cock but I love it! I love it so much!" you moaned, hands clawing at his skin, causing red streaks to appear from the pressure of your nails, "Fuck, I want more!"
With that, Mingi pushed your legs up by your thighs, exposing more of your lower half to him. "Be daddy's good girl and hold these open, I wanna see your pussy taking my cock raw," he hissed, eyes zeroing on the way your puffy lips split open to accommodate his size. Carefully, as if assessing a great piece of art, Mingi watched attentively The view almost brought tears to his eyes but he channeled the somewhat endearing moment into fucking you stupid into the mattress.
Each drag of Mingi's cock felt like fire against your inner walls. Although there was a slight discomfort with each movement, the added pleasure of being filled like you had never before made you addicted.
If you thought you were enjoying yourself, Mingi was very close to combusting and he was trying his best to not cum too soon as he didn't wanna be branded as the geezer who came too early. But he couldn't help it, not with the way both his ego and his cock were stroked. It was as if you were made for him and he felt that the moment he entered your sopping cunt. So Mingi shifted his focus to you instead, working to get you to cum first.
"Come on baby, cum for daddy. I need you to cum first so you'd be ripe and open for me to fill you up," Mingi huffed, pressing his pointy nose against the junction of your neck that sent tingles down your spine, "We need to do our best to make sure that you'd be good and pregnant, right?" The weight of his words caused your head to spin as the thought of him filling you full for his own pleasure filled your mind. "Yes, yes daddy, make me cum please," you whined into his ears, your body reacting almost automatically by rolling your hips against his own to match his speed and desire. Mingi growled hungrily and his pace quickened significantly as the impact got harder. You were sure that after this your ass would be different shades of red and blue but you couldn't care less. Especially if Mingi wanted to do more rounds with you, you'd gladly wear the bruises like a badge of honor.
"Fuck, you're so hot like this, you're so hot when you're willing and submissive for me," Mingi grunted, even verging on whining into your ears because you just felt so good to him but he held firm, "Are you close, baby? Are you cumming soon?" Lucky for him, you nodded hurriedly, confirming that you were close. Your brain had been marinating in the dizzying arousal that it was embarrassingly quick for you to nearly reach your climax in a rather short time. However, your response was deemed lacking to Mingi who wanted to hear a verbal response from you. Mingi was quick to slap you hard on your left tit as a punishment, feeling the need to chastise you for simplifying your response.
The words died on Mingi's tongue and his hips sharply halted to a stop when he saw you yelp and shudder before coming completely undone underneath him, writhing pathetically as your nails grazed his skin, leaving red streaks for Mingi to show off for days on end. His eyes darken when he saw tears pooled in your own eyes before dropping, creating the illusion of your eyes sparkling which served a rather complex combination of innocence and sinful. "M-M- Daddy," you whimpered in almost a hushed tone, barely comprehensible but to Mingi the sound was thunderous in Mingi's ears, ringing, because his baby girl needed him. His baby girl wanted him. His baby girl who's willing to give him anything he could ask for was longing for him. So who is he to deny you?
Seeing you in such a vulnerable state seemed to unlock something primal in Mingi because while you were reeling down from your orgasm, Mingi was instead put into some sort of a trance. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, slightly hoping that he could taste your sweetness in the air, and his hips restarted with a pace so hard and quick, for a moment you forgot that Mingi was a human.
The pleasure from your orgasm tripled with the additional friction continuously given by Mingi whose head was flooded with the thought of truly possibly getting you pregnant from this first time. Not that he was planning on only fucking you once, not after he felt how good you made him feel both emotionally and physically. He was planning to pamper you to death and maybe that was the sexually frustrated side in him but he didn't care, he didn't care how crazy he was because you were the one who made him crazy.
The sound of hips snapping together in a rhythm accompanied by your drunk-like moans sounded like a symphony in Mingi's ears. "F-fuck baby, I'm gonna fill you up now," Mingi grunted, his eyes closing and his forehead dropping to your shoulder, "I'm gonna fill you up with my seed to the brim and you're gonna be a good girl and keep it all in so my baby can grow safely inside of you, okay?" He whispered so intimately against your shoulder that both your lips and cunt wept. You wouldn't be surprised if there was a pool underneath you after you were done and you won't hesitate to ask for more. "Cum, daddy. Cum inside me. Fill me up so hard and full like you promised me!" You whined, your hands snaking around his shoulders to hold tight as the overstimulation caused a tingling pain that made your toes curl while Mingi was getting such a high from his ego being fed.
"Fuck, baby girl, this is it, I'm gonna put my baby in you!" Mingi grunted and thrusted, once, twice, thrice, before his hips stuttered and you felt a gush of warmth spilling deep inside your cunt. The physical feeling of being filled up made your eyes roll into your head and the realization of what just happened made you blush as if you weren't whoring for his cock not 10 minutes ago.
As Mingi slowly came down from his high, his mind cleared up and he was able to pepper kisses from your shoulders, up your neck, along your jawline, and then gently all over your face. The contrast of the sweetness of the older man and the nasty act you both just did made you suddenly turn all giggly and shy. "Aww, come on, are you trying to get away from me?" Mingi smirked, trying to chase another kiss from your lips but you kept dodging him, "That's pretty absurd considering I still have my cock inside of you, plugging you full." Your eyes widened at the vulgarity of his chosen words and you couldn't help but smack him on the shoulder but fail to hold back a giggle, "Don't say it like that!" "Like what? Like the way it is?" Mingi teased, pushing himself up to trail a finger on your stomach which made your breath hitch and your muscle to tense, "I need to make sure you really do get pregnant so you can give me my baby just like I wanted," his voice trailed as his fingers drew patterns on your skin almost lovingly and the nonsensical side of you wanted to believe that he was showing his affection to you. You figured that there was only one way to find out.
Without missing a beat, you took his finger that was tracing your skin into your mouth and start licking around as if it was a lollipop, effectively causing Mingi's attention to shift to your face and his cock to twitch inside you. "Who said we're only gonna try this once, daddy? You're gonna fuck me as much as you like until I'm good and pregnant."
The smirk that bloomed on Mingi's face was devilish and almost menacing, showing his genuine intention to get wamhat he wanted.
"I hope you'd never ask. I'm gonna fuck you all night long and you're gonna be a good girl and take it all with no complaint."
As if you'd say no.
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solas needs to be bred btw (and also punished for being such a bad boy)
sub!solas headcanons because he deserves it (18+ NSFW);
Solas is the truest definition of a switch imo, since he reflects the energy people give him, so i think if he were to encounter a dom…. baby girl would fold so fast
he’d be (pleasantly) surprised for sure, but he’d quickly follow the rhythm you’re setting
while i believe Solas piped back in Arlathan, ancient elf sex and modern day sex are a whole different ballgame. where the ancient elves incorporated magic far more frequently, mortals in current times are all about the exploration of the body — and how to push it to the limits
it makes for an entirely different experience, one that Solas hasn’t had yet. In some ways, you’re taking his virginity
he’s touch-starved. he might not even realise it until that first kiss. but in a relationship, he’s all about touching, cuddling, sneaking in little kisses, hand holding — you make having a body feel so much more enjoyable, in more ways than one
definitely a private guy, but if someone were to walk in on a cuddle sesh with you he wouldn’t move away. he’d simply stare, coldly, at the person who interrupted, and speak in a polite but clipped manner
he’s the little spoon obviously. cmon. that man screams “come hold me”
during sex, solas whimpers. a lot.
he’s not one for loud pornstar-esque cries of pleasure (although one might escape here and there), he’s more about quiet whimpers and moans and heavy breathing
he’ll bite his lip if he feels he’s getting too loud
But when he does, you bring your hand to his face and gently pry his lips apart with your thumb.
“You’re being naughty,” you say. “I want to hear your voice.”
Solas swallows, a bead of sweat trickling down his flushed face, and he nods obediently. “Yes, vhenan.”
after that, he’ll deign to not restrain himself so much, but restraint is so heavily entrenched in his being that you’ll need to remind him when he slips back into lip-biting
he. loves. being. at. your. mercy.
bondage, spanking, orgasm denial— all things he’d heavily fuck with. it’s a form of repentance, it’s pleasure, it’s pain, and it’s a release all in one. and you’re the only person he trusts enough to dole it out
LOOOOVES eating pussy (or sucking dick. yes he’s bi i decree it). he’ll happily go down until his jaw is sore, and probably beyond that
he loves to know that he’s doing a good job, that he’s pleasuring you right, and he is rock. fucking. hard. the whole time he’s doing it, even without stimulating himself
loves the aftercare just as much as he loves the act itself. just being safe, seen, and content with you chases away all the regret that he’s bound to feel later
secretly loves if you leave any visible hickeys on him, it’s a tangible sign of your love.
would never admit it, though. probably not even to you
if one of his particularly ballsy agents decide to point it out, he’ll glare silently until their resolve crumbles (which isn’t long when they remember solas is a dreamer who can kill them in their sleep) and they apologise
his agents quickly learn to never speak of solas’ hickeys ever again
probably cries during or after sex. just because it’s such a vulnerable experience.
you never judge him though, you simply hold him and kiss his tears away, which serves as both a balm to his aching soul and yet another knife to his conscience
slips into elven when he’s feeling particularly good. you have no idea what he’s saying, since much of it is obscure, but rest assured it’s the nastiest shit imaginable
which is probably why he’s saying it in elven and not in trade, where you would definitely understand him (he’s far too shy for that)
his ears!!! they’re insanely sensitive, even just a gentle touch on them can make him moan
when solas blushes, his ears get redder than his face does
anyway solas is a hoe and deserves what’s coming to him (love and affection)
#reader insert#my posts#solas x reader#dragon age x reader#solas headcanons#solas x inquisitor#solas x rook#gender neutral reader#solavellan#solas#dom reader#i think about getting solas pregnant 24/7 honestly
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Breathe With Me | Young!Daryl Dixon x Young!Fem!Reader
Summary: With you and Daryl being in a good place, kissing coming naturally to you both and cuddling no longer awkward, it was inevitable that your make out sessions would start to heat up into something else. However, in the heat of what should’ve been a hot moment, Daryl’s mind started to wander to it’s usual self deprecating depths. Luckily, you were there to help him through it.
Genre: Kinda angsty but mainly fluff
Era: Pre outbreak.
Part of the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams universe.
Warnings: Swearing, suggestive themes, self deprecating thoughts, hyperventilation/panic attack.
Word count: 1.2k
A/n: Another young!Daryl fic in a span of not even two days? Who would’ve thought it was possible? It’s mainly because I’ve been enjoying writing for young!Daryl recently, and I'd be happy to get any requests for this au. Also, I’ve never personally experienced a panic attack myself and this is all based off of what Google told me, so if any of it is inaccurate, please let me know so I can fix it. Other than that, I hope you enjoy!
“Shit, girl. Yer gon’ be the death of me.”
“Oh, fuck.”
You giggled against his lips, allowing him to push you down onto the bed. He followed soon after, moving to hover over you before reattaching his lips to yours hungrily. He used one of his hands to hold his weight up, the other one wandering over your exposed stomach. Your shirt was already disposed of and long forgotten, leaving you clad in only your shorts and bra.
To your surprise, when your hands wandered under Daryl's shirt, he only hesitated for a quick moment before withdrawing from the kiss and tugging his shirt over his head. Old and new scars were on display for you, leaving Daryl completely vulnerable under your gaze.
You smiled at him and pulled him down for another kiss, a silent way of thanking him for trusting you. It wasn’t the first time that you had seen his scars—you had helped him with his wounds too many times too count, leaving you familiar with all of his scars—but you always tried to make sure that he knew you didn’t judge him. You loved every part of him, scars and all.
You gasped against his lips when he let his hand trail down, his fingers lightly tracing over your clothed cunt. His tongue entered your mouth and he groaned at the taste. He pulled back momentarily to look at you, his pupils blown with lust.
“Fuck, yer so perfect,” he whispered, leaning down to leave a trail of kisses from your jaw to your neck.
You moaned when he kissed a particularly sensitive spot, leaning your head back to grant him better access. Your mind was starting to get cloudy, the only thought on your mind being how good Daryl was making you feel. Admittedly, you were also nervous, since this would be your first time doing something like this, but you trusted Daryl. He wouldn’t ever hurt you.
Daryl was thoroughly enjoying himself. However, when he felt you subconsciously grind your hips against his, his mind zoomed in and focused on one thing—you would regret this. You would regret giving your first time to someone like him. He would be terrible at this and you’d finally kick him to the curb after figuring it out. He didn’t deserve to have you in this way, in your most vulnerable state.
In an unexpected move, you managed to roll you both over. Daryl’s eyes slightly widened in wonder, before smiling and leaning up for another kiss. His hands settled on your waist, allowing you to take the reigns for the moment.
You would regret him.
Daryl’s breathing started becoming erratic. Although you could’ve easily misinterpreted it as him simply getting more turned on, something told you it wasn’t that. You pulled back from the kiss and looked at him, noticing the slightly pained expression on his face. His breathing was quick and choked off, and he seemed to be in some sort of daze. You instantly knew something was wrong.
“Daryl, hey, look at me,” you whispered, cupping his cheek and gently urging him to look at you. When his blue eyes met yours, you could very clearly see the panic in them.
Instantly, all previous lustful thoughts left your mind, concern for your boyfriend taking root in their place. You knew exactly what was happening; Daryl was busy having a panic attack. You helped him into a seated position, still straddling his lap. You grabbed his hand and placed it on your chest right above your heart, hoping to divert his attention away from whatever negative thoughts were plaguing his mind.
Still looking deeply into his eyes, you gently caressed his cheek with the hand that wasn’t holding his over your heart. “Try to breathe with me, okay?” you whispered, starting to breathe in a controlled rhythm.
Daryl nodded and began to copy your breathing, his sounding more choked up than yours. He tightened his grip on your waist with his hand that was still resting there, desperately trying to ground himself back to reality. It took a while, with you soothingly rubbing your thumb over his cheekbone and breathing with him in a controlled rhythm, but soon he was calming down.
Daryl felt ashamed of himself. There the two of you were, half naked and sharing what should’ve been a blissful, enjoyable experience, and he let himself get into his own head. He let his own insecurities get in the way. He should’ve just sucked it up, but instead he just had to ruin the moment.
You frowned slightly and gently grabbed his face with both hands, urging him to look at you. “Hey, it’s okay,” you assured him. When he shook his head in denial, your grip became more firm. “It is okay. Don’t blame yourself for something that was out of your control, alright? Do you wanna talk about it?”
“M’sorry,” he muttered, looking down to avoid what he thought would've been a disappointed stare.
Daryl hesitated for a moment, but nodded slowly. “I jus’ got into my own head. I was nervous and convinced myself ya would regret givin’ yer virginity to me. Started feelin’ overwhelmed. M’sorry.”
You pressed a kiss against his forehead, giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t be sorry. I get it. I was nervous too, you know? But I wouldn’t have regretted anything. I trust you. There’s no one I’d rather do this with. But it’s okay if that doesn’t happen right now. I’m ready whenever you are.”
Daryl gave you a small smile before leaning forward to rest his forehead against your shoulder. “M’still sorry. I was lookin’ forward to this.”
“Me too, but it can wait. Let’s get you taken care of, okay? And I don’t wanna hear any buts, mister.”
Daryl nodded. “Alright,” he agreed, but made no effort to lift you off his lap. Instead, he pulled you closer to him, hugging you tightly. “Thank you for understandin'.”
“Of course.”
There was a lot of things going through Daryl’s mind at that moment. Despite your reassuring words, he still felt awful for what happened, his mind continuing to shame him. However, with your hands now gently threading through his hair to bring him some comfort, not giving a damn that you were still half naked and straddling him, he forced his mind to shut up.
And in that moment, it was confirmed in his mind—Daryl Dixon knew that he was never letting you go.
©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.
#krys writes .ೃ࿐#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl x reader#twd daryl#young!daryl dixon#young daryl dixon#young!daryl#shopping spree hangout dreams#the walking dead#norman reedus#norman reedus x reader#daryl dixon the walking dead#the walking dead daryl#daryl fanfiction#daryl#daryl x you#daryl x female reader#daryl x y/n#daryl x reader fluff#daryl dixon fan fiction#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x you
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Past and Future (Happy Birthday Lighter)
🍓Finished this shit at 4:30am, if y'all don't enjoy this I will kill myself. Anyway had fun writing this, it's more of me fucking around and finding out with Lighter's character, but I think it's fluffy and cute so... enjoy lol
TW: Mentions of Death; Suicidal ideation
Info: Lighter x GN!Reader; Angst to Fluff (?) Kinda?; hurt and comfort (i think??)
Word Count: 2k
December 27th. Two days after Christmas, five days before New Year's. Oddly placed on the calendar, awkwardly smooshed between two major holidays in New Eirdu. To most, it was insignificant, just another day. To Lighter it was something he dreaded each year. Between the holiday cheer and the buzz of excitement for the new year, it was nothing more than a looming cloud dampening his mood.
December 27th, Lighter Lorenz’s birthday, one of the worst days of his life.
He didn’t hate birthdays, they were nice when they were for other people. He had to admit he enjoyed getting gifts for others and seeing their eyes light up when they opened it, and the light atmosphere when everyone sang a horrendously off-key rendition of the birthday song was hard to hate. They were celebrations of the life of that person, a hurrah to cheer them into another long year until the next came around. He just hated his own.
Gifts and cake and warm fuzzy sweet nothings acted only as reminders that he was alive. He was alive, and everyone else who deserved to be wasn’t. Another marker of another year since he lost everything. He wanted to pretend it wasn’t there, maybe sleep until the 28th or run away for a while, but the girls wouldn’t let him.
They’d managed to weasel his birthday out of him about a year into his being here, and they made a point to celebrate it each year. Nothing big, they knew he wasn’t one for huge crowds outside of his fights, but still a party where they showered him with gifts and congratulations that he did not deserve. He didn’t have it in him to tell them to stop.
So, year after year he grinned and bared it with as much grace as someone as fucked up as he could. It wasn’t hard to be grateful for all they did for him, but it was always hard to smile and accept it like he deserved it. The nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that he shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy, not when his stupidity cost the lives of good people – wonderful people, who he loved.
He usually only lasted until Burnice got out the nitro fuel, then he would quietly slip away from his own party to be alone. The quiet was easier on his mind than the distractions of colorful confetti and sweet cake made just to his taste. He liked to sit in the pain, to recede into that cocoon of hurt, as if to apologize to his friends by torturing himself.
This year was no different, of course. Just as Burnice handed out the nitro fuel, he quietly slunk into the shadows, smiling to himself as the rest of the Sons of Calydon remained celebrating in his steed. He walked his way to his bike, sighing in the cool night air. The breeze on his skin was the only comfort from the hell in his mind.
He let the air out, hand tucking into his pocket to pull out the little thing of candy he carried around on him. The little lemon drops fall into his palm with ease, and he tosses them back with practiced ease. He rarely felt like smoking anymore, but his birthday was always a struggle. The heightened emotions made him want to take the easy route out, to fall back on his old ways and make stupid mistakes in hopes it would make him feel better. Instead of giving in, though, he sucked on those candies like a saving grace. It was the least he could do for his old friends.
As he stopped in front of his bike, he shoved the candies back into his pocket. Taking a second to himself in the quiet of the night. It was almost over, just a few more hours, and the pain would lessen back down to an ache again. A little longer and he wouldn’t have to worry about constant reminders of being alive, and he wouldn’t have to save face for everyone else’s sake.
“Lighter?” A quiet, soft, almost worried voice from behind him.
He glanced over his shoulder, eyes softening when he saw it was you. You’d been quiet about his birthday all month, not bothering him with any reminders. You knew, intrinsically, how much he hated it. You always knew everything about him, it was an infuriating quirk of yours that he would never want to go away.
“Hey, dollface,” his voice just as quiet as he raised his arm for you to duck under, “got tired of the party?”
You press yourself into his side, enjoying the warmth of your personal heater, “I saw you leave and I wanted to make sure you weren’t doing anything stupid.”
He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “Me stupid? Never. Just needed some air.”
“Is this getting some air just for you, or could you use some company?” You offer, giving him the reins.
He liked the alone time, he wanted to wallow in self-pity more than anything in the world. His head reminded him that he deserved to be alone on a night like this. Yet, your eyes flutter a little at him, and your lashes brush away those awful thoughts like nothing.
“I’ve always got room for you,” he hums, giving you one last squeeze before helping you on the bike.
The drive is peaceful, the breeze cooling his hot skin like an apology from the world for all he’d been put through. He doesn’t think he deserves it, but he wouldn’t deny the feeling either. Your arms wrapped firmly around his middle, head pressed against his shoulder only calmed him further. It grounded him back in the present, reminding him that the past had long passed and that he still had things to live for.
The Sons of Calydon, who took him in and cared for him despite how distant he was at the start. The Proxies, who took special care to stop by earlier and give him a gift, congratulated him for being so strong and thanked him for his constant help when they needed it. The other former members of his mercenary group who, despite how much he wanted to deny it, held no ill will to him and wished him the best for the future.
And, of course, you curled against his back. You trusted him with your life, and he would easily lay his down for you – not that you’d let him if you had any say. You kept reminding him every single day that he was someone worth loving, that he was more than his past, and that he was the one who could define what his future looked like. It was hard not to picture it without you there, not with how attached he’d become to your little displays of love for him.
Displays like this, following him out of his party to make sure he wouldn’t do anything to hurt himself more than he was already hurting. He smiles warmly back at you as he eases his bike to a stop at his favorite quiet spot. You smile back pressing a kiss to his shoulder before moving to get off the bike.
You intertwined your fingers with his like it was second nature as you walked to the fence at the cliff's edge. From here you could see the endless desert, and the edge of the hollow, the moon peaking over it in an almost beautiful display. He helps you sit on the fence, placing a protective hand around your waist to keep you from falling forward.
Your hand presses his head into your shoulder, scratching at his scalp with such care it nearly makes his knees buckle. Another reminder of what he has that he couldn’t afford to lose. No one has known him the way you know him, no one has ever had the effect you have on him. It was almost enough to make all the horror of his past dissipate in his mind, but a small part of him still clung to it. Unwilling to allow himself to fully forget.
“You okay?” You ask, interrupting the quiet bubble that had formed around you.
He nods, “Thinking.”
“About…?” You urge with a raise of a brow, unbearably cute in his mind's eye.
He smiles, genuine for the first time that night, “About how much I love you.”
You shake your head at him, but you don’t argue with him about how he’s lying, or try and force him to tell you everything. You don’t need to. You always trust that he’ll tell you when he’s ready. It’s another thing about you that he couldn’t risk losing.
You let the quiet fall over you again, leaning into his chest with a content hum. He allows himself to indulge in your affections for now, preferring having you here in his arms than staring aimlessly at the skyline by himself. It was easier to swallow the ache in his throat with you to soften the harshness of the feeling, regardless of whether you knew you did it or not.
He wonders, hopelessly, what his old friends would think of you. They would like you, he was sure of that. You had a personality that would let you fit right in with their eclectic group. The idea of you smiling side by side with them warms his chest, his heart aching as it fades away. A dream he’d never get to see.
He’s not aware that he’s crying, he’s not sure how long he has been crying, all he knows is that you turn to him and cradle his face in your hands. They wipe at his tears without needing to be asked, another quiet reassurance that you cared for him regardless of what was going on in his head.
Lighter sniffles pathetically as his eyes lock with your worried ones. You seem to know what's wrong without him needing to say it, which he likely wouldn’t be able to do if you weren’t able to deduce it on your own. You frown at him, bringing him down to kiss his forehead.
“I’m sorry it’s so hard,” You whisper, wrapping your arms around him.
He pulls you in tightly, desperate for the skinship you offered up, “It never gets easier. Everything is a reminder.”
“I know, that’s okay,” you press a kiss to the side of his face, “I don’t think you need to forget it, Lighter. I think you need to learn how to live with it.”
He closes his eyes, the hollow where they’re buried fading from sight as if looking at it would blind him now. He holds you even closer, letting your words sink in. Learning to live with it, sounded much easier than it probably was. Maybe you were right though, he’d done so much wallowing and running, maybe it was time he found a way to live with the pain.
“Mistake, failure, accident… it doesn’t matter what you call it,” you continue, pulling him back to look him in the eyes, “It’ll always hurt, but that hurt is a reminder of how human you are. You don’t want to lose that. Remember it, feel it, and they’ll never really leave you.”
You swallow, taking him in with those pretty eyes of yours. It’s not perfect, but it’s what he needed to hear tonight. He presses you into a kiss, soft and light and nervous. He was afraid you’d disappear if he was too rough. You melt into it, indulging him like he hoped you would. This was the only way he knew how to show you his appreciation, words would never be enough to display how deeply he cared for you.
When he pulled away you were breathless, face flushed from lack of oxygen, and indescribably beautiful. He smiled subconsciously at you, and you returned the look with all the love and admiration in the world.
“Happy Birthday Lighter,” You say soft as the wind still tussling your hair, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” He repeats back, and he feels the ache in his chest lessen every second he spends looking at you. You taught him a lot since he met you. A lot about himself, a lot about those around him, a lot about you. Most importantly, tonight you taught him that despite his past, he made a future for himself that he should be more determined to remember to protect.
#bunni's treats 🧁#x reader#lighter x reader#lighter zzz#lighter zzz x reader#zzz lighter x reader#zzz lighter#lighter#zzz lighter lorenz#lighter lorenz#lighter lorenz x reader#zzz lighter lorenz x reader
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Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly
Previous - Part 9 - Next
You banged on the door of the room where that man was locked up, waking him up abruptly.
"Let's talk"
Jimmy: "I thought visiting hours were over."
He complained, turning around to turn his back to the door.
"Don't try to be funny with me, Jimmy. What the hell did we do to deserve so much hate from you?"
Jimmy: "Don't play innocent, you know very well what you did!"
"Honestly, I have no idea! That's why I'm asking you!"
Jimmy: "Of course, because I was always the shadow of your dear husband. You never turned to look at me again after you got with him, you never smiled at me like you did with him, you didn't even speak to me. It was as if I were invisible to you!"
"Oh, of course I was looking at you!"
Jimmy: "Then why didn't you ever tell me anything?!"
He shouted that, getting up from his bed to head towards the glass that separated them, watching your face to see you when you replied.
"BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU!"
You screamed with all your lungs, to the point of making your throat hurt.
"You always brought trouble to Curly! He was always so naive, a sucker for approval, of being the good guy in the story, of not letting anyone down! That's why he never abandoned you! I knew better that's why i stopped talking with you! Because you were and are a piece of shit!"
Jimmy: "Oh, but you talk as if I were the only fucked up one in the story."
"Yes! I admit it! I was also a mess when I met Curly, but I did something, I was able to see beyond that mess I was, he showed me that I could improve, he gave me opportunities that I knew how to take advantage of and become a better person! In someone who could make his mother proud instead of making her cry because she didn't know if he was coming home or not!"
There was a silence when you finished saying that, until you saw him smirk, that reaction you didn't like at all.
Jimmy: "You're right, Curly loves to please, you should know that very well."
"Ugh, for the love of God, I don't know why I try to reason with you, it's impossible."
Jimmy: "But you were the only one who refused to give in to make me happy."
You opened your eyes wide upon hearing that, turning again to the man who still wore that smug smile.
Jimmy: "Just as beautiful and messed up as I am, I thought you would understand me, but then you became a good girl, yet I still hoped you would look at me..."
"Shut up-"
Jimmy: "Oh, and the damn way Curly talked about you, how incredible you are, so kind, hardworking, so beautiful."
"I tell you to shut up-"
Jimmy: "Those lovely moles in the center of your chest that look like a constellation"
"He wouldn't talk about those things with you!"
Jimmy: "I saw it myself"
You felt like you were going to puke at that moment, you didn't want to believe that he had really done something like that to you while you were unconscious, you didn't want your suspicions to be confirmed, you refused to believe it.
"Liar. Anya wouldn't leave me alone, she would lock the nursery door-"
Jimmy: "Yes, yes, she did that, it was a pain in the ass. Every night when she went to sleep, she locked the nursery with that code that only Curly and she knew... But that place wasn't closed while someone was inside."
"She wouldn't let you get close to me!"
Jimmy: "They were so sweet, Anya staying by your side saying she had to make sure all your signs were okay, and when she left, she would ask Swansea if he could keep an eye on you. But he was so depressed that he didn't dare to stay with you for long, so... I took his place to make sure you were okay."
"In front of Curly..."
You murmured at having to imagine the scene your husband had to witness without being able to do anything about it other than watch.
Jimmy: "That was the funniest thing"
You hugged tightly, feeling a horrible tingling all over your body, as if you were dirty.
Jimmy: "Swansea had no idea about anything, Anya didn't want to talk about it with anyone else. Thanks to her silence, I was able to finally look at that body that you always hide from me, thanks to Swansea's stupidity and feeling sad for his little captain, feeling all guilty and shit."
Swansea: "What did he just say..."
You turned to see Swansea at the end of the hallway, carrying Jimmy's rations, holding an axe firmly in the other hand; he had managed to hear everything.
"Swansea-"
Swansea: "Open the door, captain"
"Listen - it's not worth it, do you have any idea what they'll do to you if they find out you hurt someone from the crew? Please, I don't want them to lock you up."
You said immediately, positioning yourself in front of him, trying to get him to see you, but his eyes were glued to the door where he could see Jimmy's face.
Swansea: "How are they going to know? Let's say it was an accident. Open the door!"
You wanted to keep reasoning with him, but you couldn't deny that you also wished he would face consequences for his actions.
You took the axe from his hands, making him look at you annoyed.
"I won't take the risk of you killing him."
Those were your last words before opening the door, Swansea didn't take much more than a few seconds to fully open the door, step inside, and throw himself at Jimmy.
You could hear the sound of the blows, the insults, and the screams.
You stood at the door wide open, axe in hand, watching as the blood spread across the floor with each blow Swansea dealt.
You watched Jimmy and tilted your head, waiting for him to defend himself.
You wouldn't hesitate to cut off his hands if he touched Swansea.
#mouthwash#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing x reader#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#captain curly#do it for them mouthwashing#captain curly x reader#mouthwashing curly
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hc!friends to lovers
natalie scatorccio x fem!reader
summary: going from friends to lovers with nat
warnings: golden retriever gf x black cat gf dynamic, nat is secretly a softie, drugs and mommy/daddy issues mentions, cursing, pure fluff, not proofread
𖧊 to this day, nat still has no idea on how you two became friends. you were too different
𖧊 it started with you complimenting her makeup once and she was so rude cause she thought you were making fun of her
𖧊 “your eyeliner is so pretty,” you tried to be nice just to receive a “fuck off” and a middle finger right to your face. you were flabbergasted! you were just trying to be nice to a pretty blonde girl and now you were her enemy?
𖧊 your huge smile disappeared in seconds and when nat realized you weren’t mocking her, she got desperate. “oh, shit. you were actually serious?”
𖧊 she was constantly being slutshamed and harassed by the mean students and the idea of being complimented by you didn’t even make it to her head
𖧊 you were too sweet for her taste. too smiley, too happy, too soft and too excited. her words, not mine. but damn, you were pretty
𖧊 not that she would ever tell you that, but being friends with you was better than spending her days alone or with the other two guys she had for friends but were nothing but drug buddies
𖧊 “dude, what the fuck is that?” she grunts at the second you show her one of your favorite songs by backstreet boys “it’s so cheesy!”
𖧊 you held her arms and made her dance with you and she was so embarrassed and tried to brush it off by complaining a lot but her eyes didn’t lie. she kinda enjoyed that
𖧊 then, late at night when she’s unable to sleep, she secretly listen to the too happy and annoying shit type of songs you liked just to think of you :(
𖧊 she eventually found herself enjoying the cranberries, spice girls and lots of your catchy pop or soft songs while doing chores and would never forgive herself for that
𖧊 at first, nat was easily annoyed by you. by your overwhelming enthusiasm and positivity and how you would always see the good in others even if they didn’t deserve
𖧊 however, that didn’t mean you wouldn’t speak up for her. if anyone was caught talking shit about nat, you were always the first one to have her back. “excuse me? hi. that’s my friend you are talking about and you might wanna apologize to her right now!”
𖧊 bless your heart you really tried to be scary like her. at least the intention was there right
𖧊 “i don’t need you to defend me,” she was already snarling at you but you could see in her eyes that she didn’t mean that. she just didn’t like being vulnerable in front of others
𖧊 nat was tough, she could take care of herself. you knew that but you couldn’t let anyone be mean to her
𖧊 “i know, but i care about you!” “yeah, whatever 🙄🙂”
𖧊 and it worked the other way around as well. a single threatening glance of nat was enough to make anyone scared of even saying your name. yes, you were a pain in her ass but she was the only one who could say that
𖧊 “but you just said she was annoying,” her friend kevin defends himself from her scary look. “don’t call her that, asshole”
𖧊 nat couldn’t invite you over to her house trailer so you would usually hang out at your house or secret places she knew
𖧊 nat is a really lonely and independent person and that’s a consequence of her unstable childhood. running away from the mess she had for parents, she eventually discovered a nice small park with pretty trees around and thought it would be the perfect hiding spot
𖧊 smoking with nat? obviously a must. you would give her the old speech saying that it was terrible for her physical and mental health (🤓☝️) even if you were 100% sure that she wasn't listening and was just giving you ironic commments. "you don't say, princess"
𖧊 deep down, very deep down, she appreciated you
𖧊 “kevin told me he caught you listening to backstreet boys yesterday” you smile at her, watching her messy bleached hair cover half of her face as she smokes
𖧊 “fucking kevin,” she mutters under her breath and it’s the perfect opportunity to play around with her. “aren’t you gonna deny it? wow, you must really like me, nat”
𖧊 “shut up, princess.”
𖧊 it was meant to be ironic but since the first time she called you that, you two were sure that it was nothing but a caring nickname and you were a complete sucker for it
𖧊 spending time together became a casual thing and as essential as breathing. that didn’t go unnoticed
𖧊 showing up to support her on a game day or just practice, holding a big sign with her name written with gliter gel pens and smiley faces and cheering so loud that people near you had to cover their ears
𖧊 thanks to that, she was so flustered that couldn't focus on the actual game
𖧊 classically, the yellowjackets would always make fun of her when you were around but especially when you weren’t. “are you happy that your girlfriend came to see you today?” van teases nat and suddenly she became their favorite subject to talk about
𖧊 “she’s not my fucking girlfriend!” she flips them off and storms off to hide how unbelievably red her cheeks were
𖧊 nat didn't take long to realize she felt different about you. but her doing your eyeliner to match her after you insisted didn't help. it was pretty hard to mantain her toughness when you were lying in bed with her on top, straddling you with face so close that you could smell the blunt in her breath
𖧊 "thanks, nat. what do you think?" you ask when she's done
𖧊 "not bad. thanks to me, obviously," she acts casually but she's like 🧍🏼♀️😊😮💨😵 seeing you with her goth ass makeup
𖧊 being jealous of you near anyone who would say hi to you was also a clear sign
𖧊 going from friends to lovers with nat would be something hard for her at first. she isn't used to trusting people that much. loving someone? what was she thinking?!
𖧊 this means that she would definitely push you away, intentionally or not, and would act weird for days until you finally confronted her
𖧊 and she tries to be rude to make you leave but it doesn’t work. eventually she opens up about her feelings, shaking and at the verge of tears, and you hug her tightly
𖧊 “i like you too, nat”
𖧊 holds your chin when kissing you 😵💫
𖧊 jealous girlfriend that was always there to keep an eye on you but wouldn’t say the words “i’m jealous” even if her life depended on it
𖧊 dating nat meant her having part time jobs to save money for weeks just to buy you something nice for your birthday or to take you to a special place in a special occasion. you cried like a baby
𖧊 you were aware that she struggled with money and you weren't rich either, so you kept things discreet. you would come to her with a tape with lots of songs that reminded you of her, "nat, you won't believe what i made you!"
𖧊 “i have no idea, baby..." but she definitely did cause you would do that at least twice a month
𖧊 she would be the first one to say “i love you” accidentally and got so stressed trying to fix her mistake with a cough but you had heard her and was freaking out, smile from ear to ear
𖧊 “you’re a moron, i love you” it took her five seconds to go from 😁 to 😧
𖧊 “i love you too.”
𖧊 when it comes to affection, i feel like she would be hesitant at first, not knowing what to do. having sex with random people was really different from wanting to show her love for you, it was harder
𖧊 realistically, nat wouldn't be the touchy type. she never really experienced affection from her parents (at least not in a long time), so it would be something new, but wouldn't be opposed to it once she realized how comforting it felt
𖧊 100% touch starved. you stroke her cheek once and she's tearing up already
𖧊 pretends to be bothered but always melts completely when you kiss her and loves to hold hands and intertwine fingers
𖧊 not everything was perfect and sharing feelings wasn’t easy for her. either way, you were always there for her, listening to her talk about her shitty parents or just comforting her after a bad day
BONUS!!!
𖧊 if the iconic barbie movie was released in the 90s, you would BEG her to wear pink clothes to go to the movies together and she would deny it every single time
𖧊 “but it would be so cute! we would match 🥺” you insisted, knowing that she was so close to cave in
𖧊 “it’s gonna make me look stupid, i don’t wear pink. quit it, princess,” nat nods, convinced that you would eventually forget about it
𖧊 a week later, nat is found at the movie theater looking like a damn flamingo
𖧊 “what happened to you? met an unicorn on the way here?” shauna mocks her as soon as she sees the blondie wearing a bright pink suit and black boots, matching your same color dress
𖧊 “shut up,” she gives them her middle finger
𖧊 “happy wife, happy life,” tai murmurs and she just nods, defeated. shauna, tai and van, all in pink thanks to your incessant pleas, followed her to get the tickets while you and jackie were excitedly buying snacks and pink popcorn containers shaped like barbie’s car
𖧊 (she definitely cried at the end and you had to kiss her tears away)
#had a hard time making this not angsty#yellowjackets#yellowjackets x reader#natalie scatorccio x reader#natalie scatorccio
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