#it’s getting chillier here so that means i can start wearing my sweater that i totally don’t pretend is his again……

[ectoplasmer]

agajdhfkg…. ryouo

[shyficwriter]

Temporary Home: Chapter 11

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!) Guest starring Nick Fury and Maria Hill

Summary: Fury comes for another weekly check-in and Reader gets in trouble. He also brings along a doctor, will he have good or bad news for Rocket?

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: A -l o n g b o i- of a chapter. Also, for my records, this is day 14 of the Guardians living with reader.

Word Count: 7,756

You wake up early, partially due to the pain in your arm, but mostly because you knew Fury would likely be coming today and you wanted to try and get to town and back before he arrived.

After a light breakfast you start to go out back door to retrieve the box the raccoon corpse was in, but Peter, who had also just finished eating and who suspected exactly what you're doing, jumped up and said he'll help you get the box.

You roll your eyes, and you're about to tell him you are fine to do it yourself when you hear knock at door. You assume it's Fury, but you want to be careful. You look out window, prepared to tell Peter to keep the others out of sight, when you notice two SHIELD vehicles behind your own, and that they hadn't been cloaked like Fury's was last time.

"It's Fury," you tell Peter, and he goes to fetch a few of the others who weren't already in the kitchen, mostly Rocket, because he expected they would want to see him after you said you'd be contacting SHIELD about the raccoon fight and whether Rocket had his shots.

Feeling slightly relieved that it was just Fury and that he hadn't decided to test you this time, you answer the door to see not only Fury and Agent Hill, but another man.

Fury gives a quick greeting and introduces the man as a doctor they brought along to test the dead raccoon. Apparently they came prepared after your message to Maria the previous night. You offer to go unlock shed but Fury says he needs you to stay there, and to give the doctor the keys. You are surprised, but obey, assuming he just wants briefed on what happened last night.

You hand the doctor the keys and he disappears back out the front door while you lead Fury and Maria into the kitchen where the others are just as Peter comes back down the stairs with Drax and Rocket.

As suspected, Fury asks first about what happened with the raccoon incident.

Rocket rolls his eyes and grumbles, "Nothing."

Drax speaks up. He tells Fury that he and you heard the commotion outside, saw Rocket getting attacked, and then you shot the offending animal.

Fury nods. "I see. I trust you've already looked him over, but our doctor will be doing so again before he administers the booster. According to our records Rocket was given a rabies vaccination, but you can never be too careful."

"Good." you reply, nodding your head in relief.

Rocket just hopped up on the counter to sit with his arms crossed indignantly, not looking forward to being examined for something he had already been checked for, but surprisingly he chose not to be a child about it.

"How long before we know if the raccoon was infected or not?" asked Kraglin.

Agent Hill answered. "The test takes about two hours. We brought a lab van so the test could be preformed on site that way we'd know as soon as possible."

Leave it to SHIELD to come prepared for literally everything.

"We also brought another couple weeks worth of rations. NOVA expects you all to be here for awhile more." This earned unhappy muttered grumblings from Rocket, but the others kept their mouth shut. They were never under the impression the negotiations would be done quickly. Maria continued, "So if a few of you want to help carry the boxes in..." she gestured towards the kitchen door. She said it politely, but it wasn't exactly a request. She wasn't a maid.

You nodded and started to head toward the door when Fury said. "Agent, stop."

You stopped, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Sir?"

Peter, Drax, and Kraglin, who had stood and were also about to follow Agent Hill (and tell you specifically not to go, for obvious reasons), also stopped, surprised by Fury's tone. He almost sounded a bit like he was scolding you despite his tone being even.

"Please remove your sweater."

The sweater he was referring to was actually an old knit cardigan. You had taken to wearing it the past few days due both to a string of overcast and therefore chillier days, and well, for said obvious reasons. "I'm sorry, what?" you ask.

"Your jacket. Take it off."

You swallow. You had a sneaking suspicion why he would ask you that. He had an annoying habit of somehow knowing everything. "If it's all the same, I'd rather not-"

"Remove your jacket, agent. Or do you need Agent Hill to assist you?" It was clear that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

You try to hide a grimace as you did what you were told, doing your best not to wince as you pulled your sweater off your good arm first and then the injured arm. Silently you wondered who had squealed on you. A small gasp from Mantis was heard when she saw what your sweater had been hiding, and you could feel the eyes of the others also on you as Fury gave you an unamused look and Agent Hill's eyes widened sightly. Even Rocket looked a bit surprised. He wasn't expecting it to look that bad.

Purple and green bruising stained your arm, radiating out from your elbow and stretching from your bicep to maybe 5 inches shy of your wrist.

"The doctor is also here to check over your injury as well." Fury said. Looking to Gamora he thanked her for informing them of your injury before turning back to scold you for not having mentioned it to them or having seen a doctor for it. He also threw in that you should be wearing a sling and resting your arm instead of 'acting like a dumbass who thinks they don't need to take care of themselves.'

"Sir, it's fine. I-"

"I'm trusting you to protect these people. How are you going to do that if you cripple yourself by neglecting injuries?" he scolded.

You shot an unhappy look to Gamora, but you could tell she wasn't sorry. You also caught almost smug looks from Yondu and Peter before turning back to Fury.

"How did it happen?" asked Maria. Gamora had told her that it had happened, that you refused help, and that you put it back in place yourself, but she hadn't told her how it happened. Seeing the aftermath of the injury now herself had made her curious.

"Slipped," you say before anyone can speak up for you. "Clumsy me," you add sarcastically.

Peter raised an eyebrow and shared glances with Kraglin and Yondu, surprised that you seemed to be covering for him. However, he didn't correct you, assuming you gave that answer for a reason, and after all, it wasn't totally a lie, more just... not the whole truth.

That explanation was apparently good enough for Fury and Maria because she nodded at the guys for them to follow as Fury laid into you again.

***

Maria opened the back hatch of the SUV, revealing crates of rations to be taken inside.

Lifting up one of the crates, Peter tried to make conversation, mentioning how Fury seemed surprisingly mad at you for not seeking out a doctor for your injury.

Sure, he could understand your boss telling you that you were dumb for neglecting an injury and scolding you for being stupid, but Fury's anger seemed different than he would have expected. Almost like he genuinely cared that you had gotten hurt. He couldn't remember any of his mother's bosses caring that much. If anything, if she had gotten hurt or sick, they would have preferred that she pretended she hadn't and just worked through it. Then again, he always did think most of her bosses were mean. Maybe she just had bad luck?

"Yeah, well, this wouldn't be the first time she's hidden an injury." Maria admitted. "I imagine he's getting a bit tired of it."

Kraglin took a crate from Maria. "She do that often?" he asked, surprised that anyone would just routinely hide when they've been hurt for seemingly no reason.

"It's not a super frequent occurrence, but she does have a bad habit of not saying when she's hurt. Once she got stabbed on the job in Hong Kong... we only found out when another agent walked in on her trying to stitch herself up in the hotel afterwards." She stacked a crate on top of the one Drax was already holding and shut the hatch before bending down to pick up the last crate she had set on the ground for herself. "Then there was a time when we were on a job together in Romania. We had been captured and held hostage for two days. I noticed she started looking worse and worse as time went on. I thought she was just getting sick, but then she passed out during the last interrogation attempt before SHEILD busted in the door with backup." She started walking back towards the house with the men. "I found out after they got her to medical that the day after we got sent out she came down with appendicitis and instead of telling someone that something was wrong and getting medical treatment, she apparently decided it was better to just cut out her own appendix- still don't know how she managed that without anyone noticing." Maria sounded like she clearly disapproved of your prior actions. "Anyway, with no way to keep it clean while we were being held prisoner, she had developed an infection. She was put on suspension for that one. I've got more, but I think you get the drift."

The three men's eyes were wide as they followed Agent Hill back to the house.

"That's insane." Peter said. "Why would anyone do that?"

"Beats me. She didn't always used to be that way, but now we use her as an example for what you shouldn't do with the new recruits."

"What do you think changed? Could she have suffered a brain injury that made her dumb?" Drax asked.

Peter shifted his crate so he could open the door and scolded Drax for being rude. As they walked into the hall Maria said, "No head injury that I'm aware of, she just kinda changed after-"

She never got to finish that sentence, for they entered the kitchen to hear you angrily say to Fury, "You can't be serious."

The four made their way towards the pantry with their crates, cautiously eyeing the situation so as to not appear nosy. Well, except for Drax, who was just flat out staring.

You were staring angrily at a stern-faced Fury while Gamora looked at the two of you, uneasiness in her eyes. Yondu and Rocket had looks of almost smug satisfaction playing on their faces, while Mantis and Groot appeared confused and intrigued.

"Serious as a heart attack." Fury answered. "After the doctor examines you and gives his orders, she-" he pointed to Gamora, "is going to report back to me if you break them, since clearly she has more sense than you."

"Sir, I don't need a babysitter-"

"Act like a baby, you get a sitter." Fury responded, cutting you off. "Adults know better than to just ignore serious injuries, Agent. Or do I need to remind you of the stunt you pulled in Romania?"

Gamora looked uncomfortable, and she wasn't even the one being scolded, though now she did wonder what you had done in Romania, wherever that was. Yondu was also curious, as Fury's statement confirmed you had done this more than once.

You sighed indignantly, "Sir I-"

"Enough. Unless you want to tell me you intend to defy orders, I suggest you keep any excuses to yourself. If I hear anything about you neglecting the doctor's orders, your ass will be assigned to a desk so fast your head will spin. Are we clear?"

Your eyes widened. Desk duty?! He couldn't do that to you. "What? Sir?! You can't do that-" you say, your voice almost pleading with a hint of indignation.

He says again, more firmly, "Are we clear?" Not only could he, he most definitely would. You thought being assigned to stay home was bad? Try being stuck in a cubicle for the next foreseeable future.

"Yes, sir." you say begrudgingly.

"Good."

Rocket started chuckling, pleased to see you get dressed down by your boss. In your own home, no less. Then he got an idea. "Hey, Agent." he said in a mocking tone.

You turn to glare at him. "What?" you respond irritably.

"Why don't you tell me where that new bed in my room came from?" He was wearing a shit eating grin, and you weren't sure why he'd bring it up right now.

You roll your eyes. "How should I know? Bed faeries? Piss off."

Rocket grinned wider. "Really? 'Cause I've got a feeling you aren't allowed to lie to your director, so if he were to ask..."

Fury, not in the mood, flatly repeated what he had said on the last visit, "I'm not here to get involved with your petty squabbles." adding, "I couldn't care less what this was about."

Rocket almost looked disappointed, and you relieved, before Agent Hill said, "Well, he might not care, but we'll be here for the next two hours waiting on results anyway... and technically I do outrank you..." Her smile wasn't malicious, it was clear that her intent was only some good-natured ribbing to her fellow agent who seemingly didn't like to admit that she'd done something nice for the asshole raccoon. Trying to lighten the mood.

You give Maria a look that says, 'Are you fucking kidding?'

Rocket looked delighted, and a few of the others looked pleasantly intrigued by your expression. By now everyone had pretty much gathered that you had made Rocket the bed, but you never would say as much. It'd be interesting if you'd actually admit it, or suffer whatever consequence lying to a superior might entail if they would choose to enforce it.

Fury, however, rolled his eye and told Maria he was going to have a word with the doctor. His way of saying that this issue wasn't worth his time, but he also wasn't going to stop whatever happened next.

Maria didn't force you to come clean about the bed. Not at first anyway. She did, however, exercise her power to keep you in line. Meaning, if you didn't do like you were told and just sit and wait for the doctor while the guys finished emptying the crates into the pantry and returned the crates to the vehicle, she'd make veiled threats to ask where the bed came from.

You knew she was only having a bit of fun, but you still stared daggers at her.

***

After a bit Fury returned with the doctor, who greeted you again by handing you the keys to your shed, stating that he locked it back up. He also informed that part of the the rabies test involved freezing the samples for 45 minutes, so he would examine you and Rocket in the meantime.

You went to motion for Rocket to go first, but Fury prodded the doctor in your direction, giving you a look that you knew better than to argue with. Rocket stuck his tongue out at you and remained sitting, satisfied, on the counter. Out of most everyone's sight, though, his tail twitched.

You were tense, but on your best behavior the whole time the doctor examined your injured arm, not wishing for Fury to come up with another punishment for your disobedience.

The doctor pulled a device out of a briefcase that turned out to be a fancy portable X-ray device to make sure there were no fractures. Luckily there weren't any.

The outcome was determined that you were very lucky. Somehow you had managed to set the bones back in place well enough on your own without accidentally breaking the radial heads in the 're-entry' process, something the doctor said he'd wouldn't have expected for a self-reset, but then again, most don't attempt to reset this type of injury on their own either. You were given a mild scolding by the doctor for not putting the arm in a sling so the ligaments could heal, however, and he said you were very lucky it didn't re-dislocate. You internally groaned as "I told you so's" peeped from behind you.

The doctor placed your arm in a strange hinged brace with a strap that made it sort of like a sling with the instructions that you were required to wear it with the strap for a week. Afterwards you could remove the strap, but you would still need to wear the brace for at least another two or three weeks. You were also placed on a weight restriction of only 5 pounds for your injured arm. Great...

You didn't say anything, only nodded, having gotten the message that it wasn't in your best interest to argue if you didn't want another tongue-lashing from Fury.

When the doctor was done with you he moved onto Rocket, who's ears momentarily flattened when he saw the doctor was now approaching him, but he quickly recovered, begrudgingly allowing himself to be examined.

As expected, the doctor found nothing of concern, barely even a scratch, which he was sure to clarify that Rocket likely wouldn't have contracted rabies from even if the animal does test positive.

The doctor turned to his coat pocket and pulled out a pre-loaded syringe of pinkish liquid, declaring to Rocket that it was the vaccine booster as he pulled off the cap.

Peter saw Rocket stiffen and finally noticed the twitching of his tail, and decided to be merciful and distract him. "Hey, Trash Panda,"

Rocket turned his head to Peter as the doctor grabbed his arm. "I don't answer to that, Star-Munch."

"You just did." Peter laughed.

Rocket growled at him before turning back to the doctor and asking him to hurry up so he could bite a chunk out of Peter's face.

"Already done," stated the doctor, capping the now empty needle and slipping it into a plastic bag before returning it to his pocket.

Rocket raised his eyebrows, forgetting his previous anger towards Peter. "Oh." His tail ceased its twitching. He hadn't felt a thing.

Peter didn't return to taunting and just let him forget. Mission accomplished.

Now done, the doctor announced he'd be going back to the lab-van to check on the samples, leaving you to sit awkwardly with your boss, co-worker, and the rest of the Guardians.

You look to the ceiling and sigh before saying, "Well I suppose I should offer you some tea if you're going to be here awhile."

Maria nodded that she'd take some and no sooner than you go to stand does Peter speak up and say, "Let me help-"

You give him a seething look that actually makes him recoil. "Unless you know how to make tea, fuck off. And even if you do, still fuck off. I don't need both arms to make fecking tea and I don't need your help. I'm not an infant." Your tone was even, but the venom was still there. A bit harsh, perhaps, but it sent the desired message. The whole situation was making you very cranky and maybe they shouldn't push it. At least for awhile until you had a chance to decompress.

Fury, however, shot you a disapproving look before you turned to put the kettle on, though he didn't say anything. He had pretty much expected this is how you might react.

The next half hour was mostly sipping tea and awkward attempts at conversation as everyone waited for the doctor to finish the test.

Yondu wasn't much interested in trying to make conversation, though he was surprised to find he didn't mind the tea. He was watching as you fiddled with your cup. You were quiet, and he thought you seemed nervous. Could you be nervous about the test results on that animal? Why? All evidence pointed to Rocket being completely fine, he hadn't been bitten, and that's what you said they had to worry about, right?

When the doctor finally returned he had good news. The raccoon had tested negative.

Yondu watched you visibly relax and it made him wonder if there was something you hadn't told them.

He was right. You were worried about the possibility of the raccoon's blood or saliva having found its way into one of the scratches or, more grossly, Rocket's mouth or eyes. If the raccoon had been infected, you knew those would be other possible ways Rocket still could have contracted the virus. You hadn't told the others because you hadn't wanted them to worry, but doing this only then made you worry. Not just because you didn't want to see even an asshole like Rocket die like that, but because you had told the others he'd be fine if he wasn't bitten, and that hadn't fully been the truth. It was a weight off your shoulders to hear that the test came back negative.

With that news Fury, Agent Hill, and the doctor were finally all able to leave. Fury stood and made eye-contact with Gamora. "Remember what I said, she steps out of line, disobeys the doctor's orders, you report back to us. Understood?"

Gamora nodded uneasily. She hadn't expected to be put on the spot and honestly wasn't looking forward to her assigned task, sure that it would only serve to piss you off.

Fury looked at you now. "Understood, Agent?"

You exhale irritably and say, "Yes, sir."

"Good. We'll be seeing you again next week."

You led them to the front door to let them out, but right before she walked out Maria turned to you with a smile and said, "Oh, almost forgot. Where did that new bed in Rocket's room come from?" She said it louder than necessary, no doubt to make sure that the others could hear the question being asked.

"Dammit, Maria!" you scold.

Fury now turned with a smirk, seemingly finally finding humor in the situation. "You know what. I changed my mind. I'd also like to know. Agent?"

You look to the ceiling with a pitiful look. Maria had only been joking, there wouldn't be any real consequences for refusing to tell her. Fury, however, was your boss, and if he wanted to be a dick about it, he could. Apparently your recent stunt with your injury had pressed his 'asshole' button. "I built it." you mutter.

Fury spoke in a tone louder than necessary, just to mess with you. "Sorry, Agent, I didn't catch that."

You glare at him and only speak up a little bit. "Said I built it, sir."

Fury chuckled, and spoke again in the louder-than-necessary voice, "Ah, you built the bed! What a nice thing to do, Agent!"

Rocket could be heard from the kitchen cheering, "I frickin knew it!"

You glared at your boss and coworker. "I hate you both so much."

Fury chuckled. "Goodbye, Agent."

"Goodbye, sir." you reply, promptly shutting the door.

You turn to see Rocket standing smugly in the kitchen doorway. Peter and Kraglin were standing behind him, appearing amused.

"Not a word." you say, barely looking at them as you made for the stairs.

Rocket laughed. "Oh, I was just going to ask if I should give my regards to you, or the faeries."

"Can't hear you!" you call back as you walk up the stairs.

"Come on now, that was a nice thing ya did!" Kraglin said, his tone teasing.

"Not listening!" you cry back as you climb higher, fully aware you were acting a bit like a child, but not caring in your pursuit to get away.

They heard your door shut and Kraglin turned to Peter to say, "She's an odd one, ain't she?"

"Yep."

***

Gamora felt uneasy. After conversing with the others about you, she had contacted Agent Hill on the communication device SHIELD had given them in case any issues arose. They were naturally concerned with how you kept to your room after the injury, and a few therefore worried that the injury was worse than you let on.

They could have just let you be, after you made it clear that you wouldn't accept their help, but after they saw you risk further injury to save their friend, she and Peter collectively decided they'd risk overstepping and contact SHIELD. You helped one of them, they'd help you. Even if you didn't want it, they felt you needed it.

What they hadn't expected was for Fury to be angry about it and, as a result, assign Gamora as your warden.

She talked with Peter in private, discussing what she should do about the situation. She didn't see the situation going well. You barely knew each other and you could be... well, stubborn might be an understatement. Eventually they agreed there was only one thing to be done. Just do it.

Or, at least make it look like she had every intention of carrying through without pissing you off to much. Sometimes people needed a little tough love for their own good, but Gamora knew if they crossed the line into overbearing things could go south real quick, and she didn't want to risk finding the tipping point that would make you make them leave. Being assigned someone to report back on you if you misbehaved was probably humiliating enough without them pushing it.

Now if they could only get Rocket on board.

You stayed in your room most of the day, but when you did come out to eat or to stretch your legs Rocket would throw teases at you, saying that you better stay in line if you didn't want Gamora to tell on you, and throwing taunts about the punishment Fury had threatened you with if you disobeyed the doctor's orders.

To their surprise, however, you just ignored him. You literally just didn't acknowledge him. Just walked about your business, and returned to your room without even a glance in his direction.

Then they realized it was only because you couldn't hear him. You had your earbuds in. Probably for the best, really.

Gamora's uneasiness eventually turned into relief when it became clear that you didn't hold a major grudge against her for squealing on you or her assignment from Fury. Based on your reaction earlier she had been worried that you'd focus your ire on her, but for whatever reason, you didn't seem to.

It was true, you didn't hold a grudge against her. Well, not after you had a chance to cool down about the situation, that is. Listening to music always made you feel better, so it helped your mood that you had kept your earbuds in for most of the day, (and let's be honest, it saved Rocket's ass too.) You took some time to reflect. Except for a period when you went for a walk to decompress, you stayed in your room and just thought about the situation. From what you had seen of Gamora, she probably only thought she was helping. Why she wanted to, you couldn't guess, but you just assumed she did. Fury was probably just trying to teach you a lesson, and you resolved to not let it get to you. You'd play the game, be good, and then he'd eventually get off your back. Easy.

After spending most of the day reflecting, you didn't feel as cranky as you had that morning. Yup, good old music and walking had done it's job to help your mood...

You hadn't made the connection that each of the three times Mantis came to your shared room to check on you, and would take your hand or place hers on your arm to ask how you were feeling, you felt a little more contented. You just assumed she was feeling affectionate and that you enjoyed her company.

Both of those were true, but Mantis had also been working her magic a little, wanting to see you cheer up but doing it in tiny doses so as to not ruin the practical joke Yondu had said would be real funny later if she didn't tell you about her abilities. She didn't know when the joke would be over, but she also didn't want to ruin it and disappoint her new friend.

Later that night you decided to break out a bottle of whiskey from the cellar. Try to get a buzz going. You brought it into the kitchen, asking those already at the table if they wanted any. Well, it was more like telling them that they knew where the glasses were if they wanted some, but still, an offer is an offer.

You sat down and poured yourself a glass as Peter grabbed a glass each for him and Gamora, and Kraglin fetched one for himself and Yondu.

Gamora was the first to speak. "I just wanted to aplogi-"

"No."

"What?"

"It's awkward enough without the apology. It's done. I'm sure you thought you were being helpful or something, but it's done."

Gamora raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Well I-"

You sigh. "Look, if it makes you feel better, you're forgiven or whatever, but I don't want to talk about it. 'Kay?" you down your glass and pour another. "Don't kill my buzz before it's even started."

Peter started to speak up. "Well I feel Krags and I at least-"

You cut him off as well. "Same goes for you. We're not going to talk about it right now. It's done."

"Oh...kay..." Peter said, taking a sip. He attempted small talk after a bit. "So... how did you come about working for SHIELD?"

You sipped and shrugged before setting your glass down. "My dad was an agent, and I guess I followed in his footsteps." you say, toying with your glass. Eager to turn the conversation away from you, you asked, "How'd you lot go about becoming 'Guardians of the Galaxy'?"

That question had the desired effect. Peter started off the story by telling you how it actually all started with them getting thrown in prison over a stone and then breaking out of said prison together to locate said powerful stone that some dick called Ronan was going to use to wipe out an entire planet.

About a quarter the way through the story the rest of the Guardians came and the same offer was extended to them before you stood up and announced you should probably grab another bottle as the one you brought up was nearly empty.

Rocket piped up, "So where ya hide it anyway?"

You looked at him, confused and a little tipsy. Cocking your head you asked, "What?"

"The booze. You always seem to pull it out of thin air. Figured you were hiding it."

You blink at him while Peter scolded him for being dumb, a sentiment you now currently shared. You laugh and look at Gamora, who looked embarrassed by her friend. "Is he always this dumb?" Not waiting for an answer you turn back to Rocket. "It ain't hidden. Dipshit." You turn away to resume your task.

Rocket, offended that you would call him dumb, said, "If you ain't hiding it, why haven't we ever seen where you keep it."

Now Kraglin was giving him looks. Even if you were hiding it, it was your shit. You were already giving them a place to stay, you didn't owe them booze too. The rest were sure Rocket was just trying to get a rise from you, but the secondhand embarrassment was real.

You rolled your eyes but kept walking. It was most likely the alcohol, but you were actually finding humor in his stupidity. "It's in the cellar, space case. I won't stop you from tagging along. Make sure your mother signs the permission slip." With that you slipped out the kitchen door.

The guardians exchanged glances at your comment and Peter, who remembered school and field trips, said, "That was a joke. You wouldn't get it." He then stood up and said, "Might as well take the chance to see something new since we don't know how long we'll be stuck here." He then looked to Rocket and asked if he was coming, since technically the invitation had been extended to him.

Rocket, who had been clearly hoping for, or at least expecting, a fight, awkwardly followed in the direction you had left. Mantis and Groot stated they wanted to go see the cellar too, but the others opted to stay behind.

Seeing that four of them had actually decided to take up your mock-offer to come to the cellar, you waited for them to catch up. You honestly didn't care if they went into the cellar, as long as Groot didn't go down there to play, and you made a point to ask Peter to tell him that you didn't mind him coming down with the rest of you tonight, but he was under no circumstances to come down there to play as he could get hurt.

Rocket translated instead, seeming irritated that you had given the message to Peter instead of him, and you open the door start to walking down the stairs, the others trailing behind.

The cellar wasn't anything spectacular. The stairs were a bit creaky with age, and it was dusty and dim even with the light on. The walls were stone strung with cobwebs and the floor was made up of old red brick.

You reached the ground and led them to some shelves on the wall across from the boiler, to grab the whiskey. On the other wall next to the shelves was an old wooden door, but other than that, a few cans of paint, and another set of shelves on the far end of the cellar, it was largely empty. You didn't keep much down there due to the damp.

You turned back to face them once you grabbed a bottle and asked if Rocket was satisfied. You didn't recieve an answer, not like you had expected one anyway. Gesturing back to the whiskey you said to Peter that it was down here if they wanted it. You didn't care as long as they didn't get sloppy drunk and start wrecking shit on the regular.

Peter nodded and the four took in the sight of the cellar. Mantis looked like she regretted her decision to come down, and said it was a little creepy, and Groot seemed to share her opinion. Good. Would mean he wouldn't care to come play down there. Peter and Rocket, however, looked at the shelf behind you in surprise. There was... more whiskey than they had anticipated. A lot more.

"Not that it's any of my business, but why do you have so much whiskey down here?"

You turned back to the shelf. Remembering the reason combined with your tipsy state made you giggle as you answered honestly. "Decided to order a small case awhile back just to have a bit around. Might have ordered it drunk and messed up the size of the order... just a bit..."

'A bit' was an understatement. The whiskey didn't sit on just one shelf, but rather the whiskey took up a whole shelving unit. You had only meant to order one case. A case would have been maybe six bottles. Somehow you ended up ordering six cases, and of course there were no refunds. So, into the cellar with a few other assorted bottles it went. You didn't do any online shopping while drunk after that again.

Peter chuckled at your honesty and noticed the wooden door for the first time. He debated asking about it, it seemed oddly placed considering the layout of the house above, but Mantis beat him to it.

"Where does that door go?" she asked, pointing to it.

You look to the door and then back to them. "Closet," you say, before widening your eyes in mock realization to tease Rocket. "Oh right, better prove it before that one gets all suspicious again!"

Rocket narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, not thrilled with you making him the butt of a joke as you opened the door to reveal a small, dark closet, maybe a meter deep and just as wide. Pipe wrenches hung on hooks off the door, and inside was a bucket, a broom, and a shovel resting against a wall of shallow shelves which were empty aside from a few random tools and a couple lanterns.

You closed the door after a moment and to Peter's surprise you handed him the whiskey bottle you had retrieved and grabbed another. "Might as well grab two, save me a trip if we run out again," you explain before shooing them all up the stairs.

Once back in the kitchen you re-took your seat and poured yourself another glass before sliding the bottle towards the middle of the table for someone else to grab. "Alright, I believe you were telling a story now?" you say to Peter as he also sat down, seeming surprised you were still interested.

And you were. It was quite an interesting story and you had to admit it captured your attention quite well.

Before you knew it an hour had passed and the second bottle was finished between seven of you when they'd finished telling it. Mantis didn't like the taste and Groot wasn't permitted to have any, though fortunately he didn't seem to mind. Just sipped on some juice you had gotten up to pour for him and Mantis and played about on the table adorably as Peter told the story.

The Ronan guy had gotten the stone, but Peter and his team still won anyway, having managed to get the stone away from him. You had giggled when you realized that Peter had more or less described that they had used 'the power of friendship' to hold onto the stone, though he didn't seem as keen on that comparison. You were also surprised to learn that the little Groot before you wasn't the original Groot, but rather more like the original's son, and that Kraglin and Yondu weren't part of the team yet in this story, but actually the leaders of an almost adversary group of space pirates that had agreed to work with Peter with the promise of obtaining the stone for themselves. You wanted to ask about that, how they came about joining Peter's team and where the rest of their crew was, Ravagers you believed they were called, but before you could Yondu interjected.

"Yeah, I'd almost forgot about that switcharoo ya pulled with the stone, boy." Yondu said to Peter, who, now several drinks in, included that bit of the story despite the former captain and first mate sitting right at the table with him.

Peter chuckled nervously in response, and said in jest, "Well, you got a cool troll doll out of it, that's something, right?"

You snorted a short laugh out your nose at that, making the others turn to you in surprise. Aside from a few questions, you had been more or less quiet the whole time until now. "Troll doll?" you say, clearly tipsy, behind your hand. The thought was ludicrous to you. Of all the things, a troll doll.

Peter grinned, pleased to see you found it funny. "It was the only thing I had on hand that would fit in the orb." He admitted, giggling.

Gamora's eyes crinkled as she looked at Peter. She hadn't had nearly as much drink as him, but she still found his giggly nature and his ability to tell a story to be endearing. This was probably the most she had let herself relax since they arrived.

Kraglin lightheartedly punched Peter in the shoulder. He'd been angry when the "switcharoo" incident happened, but he'd since been given enough reason to get over it.

"You goofy cunt," you chuckled at Peter, standing from the table and grabbing the empty bottle to bin it.

Peter raised an eyebrow and cocked his head at you as you walked toward the bin. Had you just called him a 'cunt'?

The others shared surprised contemplative looks and Kraglin said, "I think that was a compliment?" He was unsure, but you hadn't exactly said it in a derogatory way, so perhaps it was?

You overheard him and said from the bin, "Eh. Close enough." You spared one final giggly glance towards the group before leaving the kitchen to use the bathroom.

Peter shrugged, correctly assuming that he shouldn't be offended and stood to put his now-empty glass in the sink before re-joining the table with the others.

They sat chatting for a bit longer, before they thought they heard the soft sounds of singing coming from the sitting room. Exchanging glances, Peter and Gamora decided to go check it out.

***

You didn't return to the kitchen after you finished your business. The story was finished and you were in a better mood than you had been that morning so you just made your way to the sitting room to relax in your rocking chair before your buzz could wear off.

You had been there just a few minutes with your eyes falling closed when the sensation of something crawling up your leg startled you. You jump slightly only to see it was Groot crawling into your lap. You then relaxed. Cute little bugger looked sleepy, and for whatever reason, decided he would crawl up into the rocking chair with you. You didn't mind, and even if you did, you were getting a little too sleepy to feel like wasting energy making him move.

He climbed up on your slinged arm, too light for the action to cause you any pain, and curled up as you rocked away.

You weren't sure what possessed you, likely the whiskey, but you started to softy sing him a lullaby. One you remembered your grandmother singing you to sleep with when you were little.

***

Gamora peeked in the doorway and stopped, seeing you in the rocking chair, though you didn't see her. The rocking chair faced the bookshelf on the opposite wall, putting your gaze perpendicular to her own.

You were the source of the singing, and it didn't take long for her to notice Groot curled up sleeping against you and to deduce that what you were singing was a lullaby.

The others had come to see as well, but Gamora motioned for them to be quiet and didn't let them get past the doorway, afraid that you would stop if you knew you had an audience.

"What is it?" Drax asked.

"I think she's singing a lullaby to Groot." Peter answered, turning to peek back through the doorway for a moment before stepping aside to let Drax see. Drax smiled warmly at the sight and motioned Mantis to take his spot.

Kraglin chuckled and whispered over to an equally amused Yondu, "Well ain't that precious."

"So what?" asked Rocket, annoyed that everyone was gathered by the doorway instead of entering. He was, however, definitely not jealous that Groot would have taken to you well enough to let you sing a lullaby to him. He was also definitely not irritated about the fact that Groot had aparently just fallen right asleep in your lap, when he had been having to deal with Groot fitting to go to sleep most nights due to being someplace new.

Gamora looked to him. "It's sweet."

"She ain't sweet, it's all an act. She don't really care."

"So it was an act when she shot that raccoon and saved your ass?" asked Peter, rolling his eyes at his furry friend.

Rocket threw up his arms in frustration, unwilling to admit the possibility of being wrong. "Probably! She don't really care about us. We're just an assignment to her. And I didn't need her help anyway."

Peter rolled his eyes again, and that's when they noticed the singing had stopped. They were too busy arguing to notice it had been getting softer and softer. Gamora peeked in again and saw that you had fallen asleep, and she whispered back to the group as such.

"Good. I'm putting Groot to bed." Rocket said, pushing through the others before they could say anything.

"Rocket!" Gamora hissed, finally entering the room herself along with Peter.

Rocket ignored her as he approached the rocking chair. Who did you think you were anyway, singing lullabies to Groot? You weren't his mother. He was the one raising Groot, he didn't need some Terran dickhead stepping in and playing 'mommy.' Rocket let his frustration get the better of his sense and instead of gently climbing to retrieve Groot, or asking someone else once he realized he wouldn't quite be able to reach, he decided to be an asshole and jump right into your lap, startling both you and Groot awake in the process.

"Ow! The hell?" you said groggily, rubbing your eyes.

"Oh, sorry. Did I wake you?" Rocket said mockingly before walking off with a confused and groggy Groot.

The others gave him disapproving looks as they dispersed, not wanting to crowd the doorway any longer.

"You're a real asshole, ya know that?" Kraglin said before heading towards the stairs with Yondu. Rocket just ignored him.

Mantis, who also decided she would go to bed, said to Rocket as they climbed, "You're wrong, you know. She does care. I've felt it."

Rocket just rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever," before bounding up the rest of the stairs and to his room to put Groot down to sleep.

Peter and Gamora had decided to head back into the kitchen with Drax to clean up the forgotten empty glasses on the table, so by the time you got up and decided to head to bed yourself the hall was empty.

Too tired to do anything else, you decided to just go to bed. As you made your way up the stairs you remembered taking the others to the cellar and showing them what was behind the door, and wondered if you should consider getting a lock, just in case Groot disobeyed and decided to go play down there anyway.

They didn't need to find out what was behind the back wall of that closet.

[lovelyirony]

@angxlsgrxce and i were talking about autumn and ironhusbands, and obviously there are sweaters. obviously 

Rhodey had told his mama that he was officially dating Tony. He was trying to downplay it, because his mother loved to make big deals and if he had acted any sort of the level of excited he actually was, then his mother would have insisted on an elaborate family dinner or maybe updating the family portrait. 

“We just started, I don’t want you interrogating him,” Rhodey warns. 

“I can interrogate him! You’ve been friends for years. You forget that he knows my phone number and has written me letters!” 

“He writes you letters? When did that happen, Mama?” 

“You don’t need to know,” she says dismissively. “I’ll write to him when you go back to campus.” 

Rhodey doesn’t have anything to say to that. 

He gets back to their dorm room to find Tony experimenting with their good pan. 

“Drop the pan and answer as to why, apparently, you and my mother have a written correspondence?” 

“She wanted to thank me for the floral arrangement that we sent her for her birthday since we had to miss it for the engineering project.” 

“She didn’t thank me.” 

“Honey, I love you so much, you know that right?” Tony asks, looking up into his love’s eyes. 

“Yes, I do,” Rhodey says, kissing the tip of his nose. “Why, something come up?” 

“No, but your mother knows when a gift is yours and when it is not.” 

Rhodey pulls away, mock-offended. Tony laughs, pulling his body back in for a kiss. 

(God, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of that. He hopes he never does.) 

And that’s it, for a few months. It gets to be a chillier October, and then a dark and cold November. Fall is a favorite for Rhodey. He loves the changing weather, the way that leaves swirl on concrete. He loves when the wind turns a bit harsh, nipping at the nose. 

Tony? Oh, Tony was not made for the cold. 

“Boston fall can kiss my entire fucking ass,” he declares irritably, buried underneath two jackets and one entirely-too-fancy sweater that Rhodey is pretty sure that his mother packed. (Mrs. Stark has never stepped foot in Boston, and most likely never will short of graduation.) 

Rhodey kisses Tony’s forehead, laughing at the chill of the wind. 

“We need to get you a good jacket, honey.” 

“No shit, honey-pot. Unfortunately, I have no time to go and look for one, so stealing yours will have to suffice.” 

Rhodey has max two jackets. And one of them needs to be washed after an unfortunate incident with Spaghetti Thursday. 

So, he calls his mama. 

“Tony needs a sweater.” 

“You mean...?” 

“Yes,” Rhodey sighs. ‘You can make him a Rhodes Family Sweater.” 

Sweaters are a big deal to Mama Rhodes. She takes pride in her knitting skills, and for good reason. She knits love into each one, and has the best designs. Rhodey, however, doesn’t like most of the sweaters and wears them for family events only, or on laundry day. 

But he knows that Tony will love the sweater. He loves anything that has to do with family, always has. He’s making Rhodey make a very bad Christmas card, complete with Dum-E in the frame and distant facial expressions. 

- 

Mama Rhodes sends it with a note, and a reminder to Rhodey to please check your mailbox your grandmother has sent you a card. 

Tony nearly tears up when he lifts a burgundy-colored sweater with a gold “A” on the front. 

I was going to do a T, but I thought A suited this one better. I’ll make you another one! All you have to do is say the magic words, Tony. I love you. 

-Mama 

(Okay so Tony does tear up and cry like a baby.) 

He wears the sweater everywhere. Seriously. He wears it to class, he wears it on date nights, he pushes the sleeves forward so that only the tips of his fingers are showing. 

Rhodey begrudgingly has to thank his mother for making his boyfriend so happy. 

-

Three years later, there’s another sweater. It’s after they’ve completed their master’s, and they’re exhausted, and Rhodey’s not exactly sure where he’s being stationed, but knows where he is in Tony’s heart. He’s staying there. 

“Mama, I need a favor. A big one.” 

The new sweater is still that same shade of burgundy, just in a softer yarn. 

There’s nothing on the front, but on the back, at the top, between the shoulder blades, here is what it says: 

Rhodes.

It’s simple. It’s effective. 

And when Rhodey proposes--he doesn’t have a ring--it’s the sweater. 

“Mama knit you a new one,” Rhodey says. “I, ah, had a special request.” 

Tony looks up at him, disbelief written all over his face. 

“You mean...?” 

“Yeah baby,” Rhodey says, smiling. “I would be happy for forever if you would do me the honor of marrying me.” 

Tony grins, launching himself into his arms. 

“Yes,” he says, peppering Rhodey’s face with millions of tiny kisses. 

“We need to go ring-making,” Tony says. “I can’t just not wear a ring.” 

“About that...” 

- 

So technically, you have about fifteen or twenty different options to customize college rings. 

But there are some customizations that aren’t done through the company. 

Which is fine with Tony and Rhodey. 

They engrave it themselves. 

Rhodey gets an “A” right at the center of his. Tony gets a “J.” 

[alpacaparkaseok]

Happy Holidays

14. “C’mon, it’s sweater weather. Let’s go buy you a sweater.”

15. “Psst.” “What?” “You look pretty.”

Pairing: Jimin x soulmate (from my series 7 Secrets)

“It hasn’t even snowed yet, Chim.”

Aera sits before her laptop, typing away as she tried to submit this report on the last month’s earnings before Jimin can entirely distract her.

“Yeah,” Jimin grabs a chair and sits beside his soulmate. “But it’s cold. I don’t see why you refuse to wear a sweater if there’s no snow. You’d look adorable!” 

Not saying anything, Aera taps the keyboard in hopes of finishing up this boring report so she can spend some quality time with her soulmate. Heaven knows he needs a lot of attention.

“I just don’t see the point in breaking out big chunky sweaters when there’s not a single snowflake on the ground. I have an image to uphold, remember?” Aera shoots Jimin a teasing wink before focusing on her laptop again. 

Jimin pouts, dropping his head to his hands and gazing up at Aera with big eyes. “C’mon, it’s sweater weather. Let’s go buy you a sweater.”

He knows just how to get her to leave work behind: shopping. 

Aera is still experiencing unrivaled success in her field as a designer, but oddly enough she rarely gets to enjoy the world of fashion for herself. Jimin knows this; he’s seen how she keeps a secret list of brands she’d like to check out in her spare time. 

Unfortunately none of those brands specialize in oversized sweaters, which is the only thing Jimin has been interested in wearing since the weather has gotten chillier. When he first asked Aera about her style preferences in winter, she simply stated that she had one rule:

No snow = no sweaters. 

Cardigans? Sure. Hoodies? Why not. But the oversized sweaters that nearly all women fall prey to around this time of year? Absolutely not. 

Gradually Jimin has been collecting photos of different sweaters he think she’ll like, more refined, soft looking ones. Aera doesn’t do grunge, so he made sure to steer clear of that. Although she’ll never admit it, Aera has been slowly opening up to the idea of lounging about in a sweater and fuzzy socks like the ones Jin buys Kyung-soon. 

Letting out a long sigh, Aera shoots Jimin a look of long-suffering. “Alright, but only after I finish this report.”

Jimin shouts, jumping up and proceeding to dance around the room. Aera can’t help but watch, laughing as Jimin basks in the small victory. 

“Ok ok, I’ll be downstairs, I won’t distract you anymore. Come straight down once you’re done, ok?”

“Ok.”

The rest of the report takes up more time that expected, but Jimin is still as excited as a kid on Christmas morning by the time Aera heads downstairs. His head pops up from where he’s watching TV, grinning at her. 

“You ready?”

Aera nods. “Where are we going shopping?”

Jimin just shrugs, grabbing his coat and tossing her’s toward her. “I have a few places in mind.”

They end up first stopping for lunch, finally making it to a small boutique in the middle of Seoul a couple of hours later. The both of them have their masks on and hats down low, but it’s only a matter of time before somebody will recognize them. 

Jimin and Aera have had the most public relationship out of the seven soulmate couples, partially due to the fact that Jimin has a history of intense stalkers and the fact that Aera was already fairly well known in the fashion circle. While they’ve been under nearly constant scrutiny, they always make sure they make time to be together. 

“Alright, what color do you think would suit me best?” Aera asks, immediately starting to sift through the racks of clothes. “I’ve always like light pink, oooh or maybe yellow?”

Jimin smiles as he watches the stress that Aera’s been under melting away now that she’s in her element. “That’d look pretty, want me to hold it for you?” Aera wastes no time piling the sweaters into Jimin’s arms, giggling as she sees him peeking out over the mountain of fabric.

Once she’s gathered a few more, she heads straight over to the fitting station. She’s made her way through all the sweaters in a flash, weighing the pros and cons of each one. That’s another thing that Jimin loves about her: he’d expected her to be the kind of shopper that takes hours to decide on a single item of clothing. Aera is quite the opposite; her expert eye picking out what suits her best and quickly tossing out the other options. 

Now she stands before him in a lavender sweater, managing to take Jimin’s breath away. 

“This one’s nice, isn’t it? The color is really pretty.”

Jimin can only nod, hardly daring to blink for fear of missing out on a single moment. “Beautiful. How do you look so beautiful in just a simple sweater?” Aera blushes at his candor, trying and failing to walk backwards into the fitting room. She bumps into the door, watching as Jimin’s face lights up with a laugh. 

“Oh, shut up.”

In the end Aera goes with the lavender sweater and a deep blue one. It’s extra oversized, nearly coming down to her knees, while the lavender one only sweeps down to her hips. 

As they leave the store a gasp leaves Aera’s lips, Jimin stopping behind her before bursting out into laughter. 

“It’s snowing!”

Jimin takes another moment to take in the sight before gently guiding Aera to the van before someone can recognize them. “You know this means you have to wear the sweater now, right?”

Aera does just that, changing into the blue sweater the second they arrive at the boys’ apartment. Jimin sets about finding a movie to watch. They’ve decided to watch all movies over here from now on since they can hardly hear the TV over the constant ping pong matches going on at the girls’ apartment. 

When Aera emerges out of Jimin’s room in the giant blue sweater, Jimin can’t help but smile as he motions for her to come closer. 

“Let’s see your sweater paws.”

Aera waves her sweater paws at him, shrieking as Jimin grabs them and pulls her in closer. “What are you doing?!” Jimin ignores her with an evil smile as he ties the sleeves together before slipping Aera’s arms over his head until they’re settled wrapped around his waist. 

Pulling her down onto the couch with him, Jimin laughs at Aera’s incredulous expression. “Now you can’t escape.”

Aera pulls and tugs at the sleeves to no avail, finally huffing and falling against Jimin’s chest as she glares up at him. “Is this why you wanted me to get a big sweater so bad?”

Jimin’s smile could melt all the snow that’s piling up outside, and Aera snuggles in a bit closer upon seeing it. 

“Maybe.”

They turn on the movie, Jimin eventually making Aera follow him to the kitchen so he can pop popcorn. She tries to slip her arms back over his head in order to free herself, but Jimin is fast to stop her. 

“But I wanna eat popcorn,” Aera whines once they sit back down on the couch. Jimin grabs the bowl, holding it in his lap.

“Open up, then.”

Rolling her eyes, Aera debates chomping down on his fingers but decides that she’d rather eat popcorn. 

Her cheeks are filled to the brim with popcorn, hair a mess from leaning against Jimin, arms still wrapped tightly around him. Jimin can’t help but stare at her rather than the movie, the sight a rare but beautiful one.

“Psst.”

Aera doesn’t bother to look away from the movie. “What?”

Jimin pops another piece of popcorn into her mouth, smiling when she opens up without hesitation. “You look pretty.”

Aera’s eyes slip to his in confusion, a pretty pout painting her features. “I still hate you for tying my arms together.”

Jimin leans into his soulmate as laughter racks his body. Wiping an imaginary tear from his eyes, he winks at Aera. “I can live with that.”

masterlist

@taylorroe3​

[multibug]

i'm out of my head and i know that you're scared (because hearts get broken)

chapters: 19/? (chapter one is a prelude from my love square fluff series and is included) words: 51,441 relationships: adrien agreste/marinette dupain-cheng, alya cesaire/nino lahiffe   tags: Alternate Universe - No Kwamis, Chatting & Messaging, Long-Distance Friendship, Identity Reveal, Slow Burn, Influencers, Aged-Up Character(s), Human Kwamis, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Lila Shakes Things Up summary: ren from ren and stimpy: think its the opposite u furry lookin ass

right chat: Rena, nooo!!

ren from ren and stimpy: rena yes

or, Adrien is a streamer on top of his modeling job, with the help of his long-distance friends Ladybug, Carapace, and Rena Rouge. Shenanigans ensue, and the masks they’ve hidden behind for years begins to break.

“You’re telling me that some bitch—”

Nino sputters out a mildly horrified laugh. “Alya!”

A strand of hair is tucked behind her ear by said snapback-clad boy and she huffs loudly. “What, Nino? It’s not as if I’m wrong. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, she stole my identity?!”

A strand of hair is tucked behind her ear by said snapback-clad boy and she huffs loudly. “What, Nino? It’s not as if I’m wrong. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, she stole my identity?!”

“Yeah, we only realized she wasn’t you when the two of you returned from your trip and messaged us,” Adrien supplies helplessly, shifting to tuck a leg under him. 

Alya gives both him and Marinette the stink eye, though Adrien’s sure it’s just a test if he knows her well enough. “How could you ever think someone like that was me?” 

“To be fair, Als,” Marinette starts off, voice gentle as she scooches closer to Adrien to lean against his arm. “We didn’t really get to talk to her. I tried messaging her on Discord and on Twitch, but she kept claiming she was busy anytime I reached out. I figured you were just upset over the breakup originally and needed your space, you know? I didn’t want to push it.” 

The redhead’s harsh exterior fades, and they’re left with a sad one instead. “Yeah, it’s just bizarre that she’d even want my account? Is she that obsessed with sunshine over here?” 

“Hey! Don’t say that.” Adrien’s cheeks flush a deep shade of red, which has Marinette pinching them. He grabs her hands and huffs. “Hey to you too!” 

Marinette’s laughter is contagious. “Hey, what’s up?” 

Alya raises an eyebrow in Marinette’s direction and leans in to whisper into her ear. Whatever Alya says has Marinette’s cheeks burning a bright shade of pink that travels to her neck and parts of her shoulders. She quickly removes her hands from Adrien’s, yet stays tucked against his side.

Both of them blinking over in Adrien’s direction has him believing it had something to do with him. 

“Whatever the case may be,” Adrien begins, flicking his hair out of his eyes. He’s not thinking about those last few seconds. Nope. “We need to be smart about this, Ren—Alya. She has your account right now and has all of our subscribers like putty in her hands.” 

“Adrien’s right. If we go about this the wrong way, they might think we’re lying, and we do not want for that to happen,” Nino chimes in, resting a reassuring hand on Alya’s shoulder as she begins to close in on herself. 

“It’s weird seeing you be reasonable,” Marinette comments idly, her hair splaying out over Adrien’s arm and shoulder. 

Nino hums. “Only when it’s needed.” 

“That’s a good way to live.” 

“Yeah, I try.” Nino flips his non-existent long hair over his shoulder. 

“So what do we do?” Alya’s voice is soft, nowhere near as confident as the girl they know. 

Marinette sends her a reassuring smile. “Max is working on getting the account back as we speak. Going through the conventional means won’t work, but if anyone can do it, it’s Max.”

“He said he’d call once he has the account back, so instead of sitting around all day like plebs, I’ve planned us a little adventure.” Nino’s lips curve into a smirk that excites Adrien. “Get dressed, lads and ladettes. We’ve places to be, things to see!” 

“Do you have any idea what he’s got planned?” Marinette asks both Adrien and Alya as Nino disappears into the guest room to supposedly finish getting ready. 

A light breeze travels in through the screen door of the balcony. It’s chillier than it’s been the last few days, though not nearly as cold as Paris is during this time of year. Birds still flock regularly on Marinette’s balcony, a few residing today with the leftovers of what she’d given them earlier. 

Adrien loves it here. 

(Marinette definitely isn’t the main reason, no. He wouldn’t admit it to himself if he was paid to.) 

“No idea,” Alya replies with a shrug, a far-off look in her eye. “I’m going to go get dressed.” As soon as the look had appeared, it vanished, and she follows Nino to change. 

“We have to keep an eye on her,” Marinette whispers, a bit too close to constitute a reasonable amount of personal space, but Adrien isn’t complaining. “I don’t like seeing her like this.” 

His heart warms at how caring she is. “You’re too nice, Bug. She’ll be okay, but we’ll be there for her if she needs us, okay?” 

He hopes his reassurance is enough to quell her worries. 

It does seem to be enough, and a huge smile breaks out on her face. “Thanks, Adrien. You’re the best.” She leaves him with a quick, slightly wet kiss on the cheek and scurries out of the room with a giggle, much to Adrien’s amusement. 

He raises his eyebrows with a smirk, shaking his head fondly. If that’s how she wants to play, then so be it. 

Game on.

— — — 

PANINI: gamers im taking the ladies out today if you guys want to come, let me know and i’ll dm you the details

Banana head: NINO, YOU IDIOT. I’M NOT A LADY. Who changed my name? I will end you.

chlo: rmbr u rmbr right?

Banana head: Chlo, I swear to all that is holy. Don’t tell that story. 

chlo: how much?

RENegade: is sHE ASKING FOR SEX???

marimba: SEX???????? wheRE?????

chlo: GOD NO I’M A LESBIAN WHAT THE FUCK

Kagami: Lesbian, huh? ;) 

chlo: kagami stfu is2g

Kagami: ;)

chlo: ANYWAYS how much money, adri

Banana head: You want another Louis Vuitton bag, don’t you?

chlo: IT’S THE NEWEST OF THE SEASON AND THEY WON’T LET ME HAVE IT

Banana head: Sigh. I’ll see what I can do. 

chlo: thanks bitch! you’re the bomb bomb dot com bomb diggity someone take away my phone

Alix: hey, @Carapace, what time are you guys going out? rose, juleka and i are about to see a movie but if it’s after that, we can meet up

PANINI: we were gonna head out before the rain hit so in like five minutes

Juls: drat we can just hang out another time then :( have fun guys!!!!

marimba: YOU TOO JULES I LOVE YOU BITCH

Juls: I AIN’T EVER GON STOP LOVING YOU

Alix: BITCH

Banana head: Best meme. 10/10. 

luka: how can you say that when the chicken nuggets meme exists

marimba: I ONLY HAVE 69 CENTS!! GOOD MEME!!!!!! 

luka: see even marinette knows

marimba: haha it has 69 in it haha haha ha 

Banana head: You’re such a child!!!! 

marimba: COMING FROM THE MAN WITH THE NAME BANANA HEAD WHERE’S CHLOE I’LL GET HER THE LOUIS VUITTON BAG IF IT MEANS HER TELLING THE STORY

Banana head: I’M KIDDING. I’M KIDDING!!!!

marimba: that’s what i thought :) 

PANIN(o)I: y’all better be ready we leaving now let’s GO 

RENegade: I’M COMING BITCH CHILLLLL

marimba: wITHOUT ME????

Adrien’s been ready for a bit, but he doesn’t mind waiting. 

He decided on wearing a pair of black jeans instead of shorts, just in case it rains while they’re out, and a black sweater with a thick jean jacket. His hair is a dark brown shade, still lightening at a slow rate, though he doesn’t mind it much at this shade. 

He wouldn’t dye it again to match, but he’ll let it fade as he’s enjoying the brunet life.

Marinette’s bedroom door squeaks open and she appears through the door, dressed and ready to go. 

And wow. No one should look that good, and she pulls it off so easily. 

Her bangs frame her face like curtains, her hair just past shoulder length from being straightened. Her bright blue eyes blink amusedly at him, lips arching into a smile.

The only makeup he spots is on her lips, a lip gloss that makes her lips look super kissable. “Problem, Agreste?” 

Laughter bubbles out of his lips, and he averts his eyes. “None, Dupain-Cheng. Just admiring your beauty, is all.” Lying won’t help his cause, so he might as well be honest. 

She rolls her eyes, hard enough to hurt, yet her cheeks give her away. “Sure, whatever you say!” 

His eyes flash over her attire. While she’s not dressed up by any means, the outfit she chose suits her so well. 

Wait. Is she trying to kill him?

With the impending rain and whether they’ll end up caught in the crossfire, she’s chosen a black baggy sweater, denim jeans with large holes around the knees with fishnet stockings underneath, and black old-skool vans. 

And to top it off, she’s wearing his merch. His Chat Noir sweater that’s completely black, with white lettering in the center that says, “I’m the Chat’s meow”. He hadn’t noticed at first, been too preoccupied with, er, other things—her lips—and he’d lie if he said his face didn’t get slightly hot at seeing her in person in his merch. 

“I thought you only bought the sweatpants, Bug?” He asks offhandedly, eyes averting from her for a second time. 

(He has no idea the nickname brings another bout of red to her cheeks.)

“Shut up or I will take it off right now—” 

“Oh, please d—”

She’s in front of him in a second, her hand firmly covering his mouth with a menacing look in her eyes. “Adrien Agreste, if you continue with that sentence, I will murder you and I won’t tell anyone where I hid your body—”

Adrien bursts out laughing the best he can, and it sounds so bizarre with her hand muffling it. His own hand finds her wrist and wraps around it, gently prying it away from his face. “Bug, please, you’re going to kill me!”

“You’re not wrong about that,” she affirms with her eyes narrowed. She allows him to keep hold of her wrist.

“I was kidding,” he murmurs, eyes locking with hers as he brings her wrist to his lips and presses a light kiss to her skin. With how close she is, he can feel her breath hitch, so he sends her his best smile. “I would never want to make you uncomfortable.” 

Marinette’s head tilts to the side, face softening. Her free hand finds his cheeks and she squeezes them gently. “You’ve never made me uncomfortable before, and you haven’t now. I was kidding as well.” 

His eyes brighten. “Oh, so that means you—”

“You’re absolutely hopeless!” Her forehead drops to his shoulder as she whines loudly. 

“There, there,” he says, hand wrapping around her to pat her back. “You’ll be okay, Bug, don’t worry. I’ve got you.” 

She’s warm, so warm against him that his jacket feels stifling, and he tugs her closer, enjoying—savoring this moment with her. He doesn’t have many days left in Nice, and he wants to cherish every second he can. 

There goes his heart again, pitter-pattering away, following hers like a lost puppy. 

If only she knew.

[fbdo1986]

i would b really happy if you just wanted to answer all of them for cam

!!!! hehe anon that would ABSOLUTELY make me happy too! i’ll answer all the ones i haven’t already!

- well, because fbdo exists in the 80s i’m gonna change this to be either his 2-4 favorite songs or songs on any mixtapes he might have. the absolute staples of cameron’s music taste include: dancing with myself by generation x, surrender by cheap trick, and you can’t hold on too long by the cars

- i think the one place cam can fall asleep where he isn’t supposed to is at school. i think as senior year starts wearing down cameron always has a lot on his mind when he’s supposed to be sleeping at night, but that causes him to not get a lot of sleep. so he’s probably perpetually tired during the school day, and whenever there’s a quiet moment he’s about three seconds from a snooze. (i think it happens most often when he, ferris, and sloane study or hang out (cause of course you dont always end up studying when you plan a study session) in the library after school.) ferris and sloane joke that he doesn’t need the time to study anyway, so they let him rest and quietly brainstorm among themselves a plan or two to make sure that cam starts getting enough sleep. 

- answered here! 

- also answered! 

- oh, i think cameron’s kinda similar to how he is normally? he’s not exactly the most enthusiastic person ever anyway, but aside from more physical signs that clue fer and sloane in like his slumped shoulders and a generally tired expression, he’s a bit more reserved in speech and is pretty spaced-out. (listen, cameron’s a sweetheart no matter what). it makes them laugh, because they can easily tell when he’s tired by quizzing him on things they’re certain he knows the answer to and him not immediately jumping to answer, or they say outlandish shit that they know he’d pay attention to otherwise and instead he simply nods or mumbles affirmative responses. 

- i think cameron likes to drink tea! 

- it’s sorta hard for cam to deal with stuff because he’s never had a consistent outlet for his emotions, but he tries his best! this includes: getting comfortable! cam likes wearing big, cozy sweaters or wrapping a big blanket around himself when he needs a bit of a pick me up. i think he also likes listening to music, especially upbeat stuff when he needs more energy, and makes himself a big mug of tea. if he wants to be distracted, chances are he’ll revisit one of his favorite books and immediately start to reread it, or he’ll cave and call ferris to shoot the shit with him for a bit or ask if he can hang out with them. if it’s heavy stuff (involving them, especially) he’s not going to want to bother with telling them, but usually fer and sloane make good outlets for when he’s in a funk. they’re really good at giving him advice, and of course are the ultimate distracters from a bad feeling. occasionally, though, cam will take himself on an outing, like going to a museum or seeing a movie by himself. it’s not as fun as being with ferris and sloane, but if things get bad it’s a good way to snap himself out of his thoughts. he’ll invite jeanie occasionally too, if she’s not busy. 

- this one really fascinates me, because i don’t really have an answer. personally, i think cam’s parents have sorta discouraged any real self-expression he had from a very young age, unfortunately. however, i do think some things that cam was always interested him stuck out to him, so he played around with the idea of being a geologist and a poet for a while. 

- i think cam likes rainy and windy days best! he doesn’t mind storms if he’s inside, but he likes slightly chillier days with more clouds in the sky, and doesn’t mind being out in the rain.

- ehehe i have thoughts!!! i touch on this in one of my wips, but i think cameron has a really sweet singing voice. it’s not like, professionally trained or anything but it’s very pleasant to listen to. i don’t know all that much about music (i quit learning a musical instrument in the sixth grade and i have yet to pick up the bass guitar like i wanted) anymore, but i think he’d be a tenor or baritone? i mean his placement doesn’t really mean all that much to me, but i think cam enjoys humming to himself (his voice is really nice so ferris and sloane never bother to discourage him), but he rarely ever sings to himself. he only really sings to himself when it’s a song he really enjoys, and even then it’s a bit under his breath. they can’t coax him to sing fully like how they want, but they always feel lucky when they get to hear it. (again you didn’t ask but i think sloane also has a really nice singing voice, i think she did something cute like choir or theatre growing up so she’s unafraid to go for it when singing along to the radio. it’s cute, they tease her that she sounds better than the artist singing.) 

- i don’t think cam is very good at art, so he really only sticks to doodling if there’s something very specific that catches his eye that he can try and copy. i’d like to think that instead, there are verses/lines of poetry that cameron writes in the margins of his notes or papers. (yes cameron writes poetry yes this is super dorky but also in character). 

[thecassadilla]

Lacrymosa

AO3

Word Count: 3,362

Author’s Note: So...hi. My name is Cass. I’m a nobody. I kind of live under a rock and I haven’t written anything substantial in a long time, but I’m taking a leap of faith here. This originally started as a multi-chap fic but my brain doesn’t work that well, so I turned it into a one-shot. Inspiration came from the song Lacrymosa by Evanescence.

Summary:

And you can blame it on me Just set your guilt free, honey  I don’t want to hold you back now, love

Anna shares an incredibly dark secret with Kristoff and is certain that it will change the trajectory of their blossoming relationship. Kristoff disagrees. Kristanna Modern/Vampire AU.

Kristoff wasn’t sure what to expect as he approached the looming house. He was reminded of the previous night, when Anna had arrived at his front door in the midst of a terrible storm to tell him a deep secret that she held. Because she’d decided to leave as abruptly as she’d arrived, he never found out exactly what that secret was -- and it was bothering him. He wasn’t trying to be nosy or insensitive, but he could tell that this secret must have been gnawing at her. Her life was very calculated; there was little room for spontaneity and it was very unlike her to just show up somewhere, unannounced. It was even more unlike her to miss work, which she had done that very day.

He took a deep breath and looked up at the monstrous house as he approached the front steps. The air was chillier than usual as he finally reached the front door and the eerie silence that plagued Arendelle was noticeably present, once again. He closed his eyes as he reached out to ring the bell and once he’d pressed it, he knew there was no going back.

After a few moments, he heard footsteps approach and the door gently swung open. While he’d hoped it would be Anna who would answer the door, he was not surprised to see it was her sister, Elsa, whom he’d never met before. He was immediately taken aback by her appearance; she looked sickly. White-blonde hair, pale skin -- lacking any color except for the extremely obvious circles under eyes -- sharp cheekbones, a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks, and intense blue eyes. While she looked exactly like her younger sister, she certainly did not look well. 

“Can I help you?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Despite the harshness of her features, her face was soft. It was obvious they didn’t receive visitors often, as she looked incredibly concerned by his presence.

“I’m- ” he started. “Is Anna here?”

She pursed her lips, her expression changing from concerned to dark. She shook her head. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be here.” She moved to close the door in his face, when he suddenly heard Anna calling for her. 

“Elsa, who’s at the door?” She suddenly appeared behind her sister, stealing a glance through the gap between the door and the frame. “Oh! Kristoff!”

“Hi,” he gave her a small smile and awkwardly waved. He wasn’t used to seeing her out of the dark colors she wore to work; she was wearing a light grey oversized sweater over a pair of leggings, and her hair fell in loose waves down her back instead of in the bun she normally wore. She was lacking her trademark red lipstick, and though he’d never noticed before, she, too, had dark circles under her eyes. Though she didn’t look nearly as ill as her sister, she certainly looked different when she wasn’t expecting a visitor. 

“Did you invite him here?” Elsa hissed, looking at her sister with a worried expression.

“No, but I’m glad he’s here. Please come in, Kristoff,” Anna beamed, pushing her sister out of the way so she could open the door fully and welcome him inside.

“Anna!” The elder sister exclaimed. “You know our agreement about guests.”

“Screw it,” Anna retorted. “We never have guests. Now please move out of the way so Kristoff can come inside.”

Elsa hesitantly stepped to the side, and Kristoff stepped into the vast entryway, the door closing behind him. On top of being massive, it was spotless -- it almost had a sterile feeling to it. He moved to take off his shoes, but Anna stopped him.

“Don’t worry about that,” she said, placing a hand on his arm. “Let me take your coat.”

He shrugged the coat off and handed it to her. As soon as she turned her back, and under Elsa’s watchful gaze, he slid his feet out of his sneakers. 

“Please, excuse us, Elsa, but we’d appreciate some privacy.”

Elsa shot her sister a warning glare, but promptly spun around and made her way up the staircase.

“Listen, Anna, if this is a bad idea -” he started.

“Hush,” she quipped, cutting him off. “Don’t worry about her. Come on, we can go sit in the living room.”

She took his hand in her ice cold one and led him through the house. It was impossibly clean, not a speck of clutter or dirt to be found. He tried to take in as much as he could before they reached the living room, but it wasn’t far from the front door. Unsurprisingly, the couches were white and spotless, standing out against the hardwood floors. A blue patterned rug and a dark wood coffee table sat near the couch and against the far wall was a lit fireplace. Anna comfortably hopped onto the couch and patted it, inviting him to sit down next to her. He did so cautiously, afraid that he would get it dirty or break something in the process. 

“Sorry about my sister, she can be a bit...cold,” Anna explained, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It’s fine,” he gulped. He hesitated for a moment, as he normally wasn’t impulsive, but on the drive over he had decided that it was better to be forward than to dance around the reason why he was here. “We kind of need to talk about last night.”

“I know,” she mumbled, looking down at her hands. “Kristoff, I am so, so sorry for bursting in like that. I know that my behavior probably seemed really erratic and I left so abruptly and it really wasn’t fair to leave like that. It wasn’t even fair for me to show up in the first place. I’m really sorry.”

He sighed. “Listen, don’t be sorry for coming over, okay? I told you that you’re always welcome. But you scared the living hell out of me last night; you came over, completely panicked and going on about a secret you had to tell me, made out with me, and freaked out and left without much of an explanation. Then you didn’t show up to work today and I got really worried that I did something or hurt you.”

“No! You did nothing wrong! It was all me,” she took both of his hands in her own, attempting to reassure him. “I didn’t know what I would say or do when I saw you. It was easier to just stay home.”

“Anna, you really hurt me,” he admitted. “You told me you had feelings for me and then told me I should find someone else. You said you couldn’t give me what I deserve, and frankly, I don’t even know what that means.”

She closed her eyes, clearly remembering their exchange from the previous night.

“This was a mistake,” she mumbled. “I’m so sorry, Kristoff.”

“I don’t understand,” he began, as she slid her arms back into her shirt, not bothering to button it or tuck it into her skirt. “You have to tell -”

She reached up and cupped his jaw, brushing her thumb over his lip and silencing him. “Kristoff, you didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have come here and led you on like this.”

He winced. “You said you had feelings for me.”

“I do,” she sighed, her eyes glossy. “But I can’t give you what you need, what you deserve.”

“Anna, I need you.”

“No,” she responded firmly, shaking her head, moving her hands from his face to his shoulders. “You deserve to be with someone who will love you fully and unselfishly. I don’t want to hold you back from that. I can’t change who I am and my love isn’t enough.”

“This doesn’t make any sense,” he responded, his forehead creasing. “My life has always been so shitty, and then you come along and you’re literally the best thing that has ever happened to me and yet you’re standing here, telling me that your love isn’t enough and I should find someone better?”

“I’m sorry I...I just can’t be with you.”

“Why? Please, I need to know. Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” She exclaimed, dropping her hands. “You’re wonderful. You’re perfect. It’s not you, at all.”

“Anna, please let me in,” he begged, taking a step toward her.

“I have to go,” she ducked down, slinging her coat over her arm. She turned away, opening the door and stepping into the storm. She glanced over her shoulder and whispered “I’m sorry,” before darting to her car.

Kristoff watched, stunned, from the doorway as she drove away, feeling helpless and overwhelmed. He stood there for a long time, hoping that she’d turn around and come back. When a significant amount of time had passed, and she hadn’t returned, he ventured back into the house, his heart breaking. 

“I don’t know what to say,” she responded after a few moments of silence, her eyes still squeezed shut. “I didn’t want to hurt you. It’s just that…”

“What?” He begged. “Please tell me.”

“You kissed my neck,” she answered, closing her eyes as if she were ashamed to admit it.

He blinked, a blush slowly creeping across his cheeks. “Did I cross a line? I’m sorry -”

“No, you did nothing wrong. But it’s why I panicked and left.”

He shook his head. “I’m confused.”

She inhaled deeply through her nose. “If I tell you why I left...tell you my secret, you won’t ever look at me the same way. Everything you think you know about the world will fade away and I’ll never be able to take it back.”

He gently squeezed her hands and she finally looked up at him. “Anna, I know we aren’t really...together, but I promise, there’s nothing you could say or do that would change how I feel about you.”

She gave him a small nod and they sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Finally, she mustered up the courage to whisper “I’m...not alive.”

He made a noise that sounded like a laugh, only he wasn’t laughing - this was not remotely funny. He desperately needed clarification; she was sitting right in front of him and he was certain that she was alive. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You know Dracula?” She asked, hesitantly.

He was unsure where she was going with this. “Yeah?”

“I’m...that,” was all she could offer, as if she were afraid to say the word out loud. 

“A vampire,” he blurted, saying it for her. “I don’t understand. That’s a myth.”

She shook her head. “I thought so, too. I was wrong.”

Everything seemed to be falling into place. The odd behavior he’d observed over the course of the past few months was starting to make sense; her physical strength, her impeccable hearing and sense of smell, her constantly cold skin, the fact that she never ate in front of him. Why she freaked out when he kissed her neck. “B-but you’re alive! You’re sitting here, in front of me.”

She didn’t respond, but rather took one of his hands and guided it up to her neck, tilting her head and placing his fingers beneath her jaw. She held his hand there for a few moments, before moving it down to the center of her chest and holding it there with her own hand.

“Do you feel anything?” She asked, quietly. 

He didn’t, but he didn’t want to admit that. “Anna -”

“Because I don’t have a heartbeat. So don’t lie and say that I do, because I know that I don’t. I know what I am.”

He was suddenly overwhelmed. A million questions were swirling in his head; he didn’t know what to ask first, or how to ask. All the pieces of the puzzle were put together. All the time they’d spent together where he wondered if there was something different about her. He’d spent months pushing those thoughts away, making up explanations for them, but now? Now he had one, and as illogical as it seemed, she was being completely serious.

“Have you always been like this?” Was the first question that tumbled out of his mouth.

“No,” she whispered. “I wasn’t always like this. I used to be a human.”

“How did this happen?”

She sighed. “So a few years ago, I was dating this guy and things were going really well. He was a little quirky, a little strange, but I didn’t think anything of it. Eventually, I brought him here to meet Elsa, because at that point I was certain I was going to marry him, and I left the room for one second. When I came back, he was attacking her and I intervened and he ran off. So...she was turned first. I tried to help her for a long time, but I didn’t know how and eventually, she lost control and turned me.”

He sat there, speechless. He wanted to have something to say, wanted to comfort her, but the words were lost. She finally removed his hand from her heart, but continued to grasp it firmly in her own.

“I wish that I didn’t have to tell you that,” she continued. “But it just...it isn’t fair to keep you in the dark. But hopefully now you can understand why we can’t be together.”

“I don’t, though. Like, yeah, I’m a little overwhelmed and confused but I really don't understand how that changes anything.”

“Kristoff, it changes everything. Any chance of me having a normal life is gone. You don’t know how badly I craved an average life - a happy marriage, a house with a white picket fence, children. A fulfilling life, dying of old age. That was all ripped away from me; I can’t have that anymore.”

“But why not?”

“Because I’m stuck like this forever! I can’t change - I don’t age. As much as I love living in Arendelle, in a couple of years I’ll have to leave it all behind because I will look exactly the same. People notice if you never get any older.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, unsure of what else he could possibly say. A pool of ice had settled in the pit of his stomach and he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders; he couldn’t imagine the burden that Anna had been carrying around.

“Listen to me,” she said, moving her hands up to cup his jaw and looking him in the eye. “You deserve to be with someone who can give you normalcy. A normal job, a normal life. Kids. I’m not going to sit by and let you waste your life on something not worth living for.”

“Don’t I get a say in all of this?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing together. “Because it seems like you’re deciding what type of life I should live.”

“I cannot and will not let you waste your life on me,” she responded, shaking her head. 

“Anna, that’s not fair. Before I met you, I was sure that I was going to live my life on my own. I grew up in foster care and I was bounced around until I was legally allowed to be on my own. I worked hard, I got a job and an apartment. My entire life, I didn’t have anyone who I could depend on except myself. It got to the point where I wanted to be alone because it was safe. And then I moved here, and I met you and my outlook on life changed. And now you’re telling me that my life would be wasted if I choose to spend it with you? I disagree. Can’t we at least try?”

“Life is so short, you can’t take that for granted,” she insisted, dropping her hands away from his face and pulling them back into her lap.

“Listen, I have feelings for you. They’re strong and they’re not going anywhere. If you have feelings for me like you said you did, then I don’t see what’s stopping us from pursuing something.”

“I just - I think about the things that I wanted and I don’t know how I could live with myself knowing that I...prevented you from having them,” she finally said, her bottom lip quivering. “It feels so selfish of me.”

“It’s not selfish to want something, though. You’re not holding me back from anything, and I don’t know the rules of being a...you know what, but I’m sure some of the things you want can still happen,” he was making a hefty assumption, but he needed her to understand that he wasn’t worried about missing out on anything. 

“I had dreams. Lazy weekends in bed until noon, cuddled under the blankets and blissfully unaware of the outside world. Dancing in the kitchen while cooking dinner and drinking wine on a weeknight. Staying up all night talking about the future. Going on adventures. None of that seems possible now,” her eyes momentarily twinkled with the slightest glimmer of hope.

“We can do things like that,” he promised. 

She shook her head incredulously. “I don’t sleep, I can’t eat human food, and while the sun won’t kill me, I burn really easily.”

He reached out and gently gripped her shoulders. “But what I’m hearing is that you can still lay in a bed and cuddle, dance, stay up all night, and go on adventures. There just has to be a few modifications.”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, dropping her head. 

“Things will be different, sure, but you won’t know unless you try,” he pointed out, reaching over to tilt her chin up so they were making eye contact again. 

She winced. “But what if I hurt you? I’m dangerous and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“You haven’t hurt me yet, have you?” He offered her a weak smile. 

“No, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a possibility. Look at what happened to me,” she motioned to herself. “This was an accident.”

“Anna, I could walk outside your door and get struck by lightning or get hit by a truck. I’m willing to take that risk.”

“But why?” She pleaded, her face scrunching up. “Why are you willing to sacrifice everything for me?”

“Because I have a feeling that if this were the other way around, you would do the same. Because the last two months with you have been the greatest two months of my entire life. Because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m not ready to lose you. I don’t ever want to lose you, if I’m being completely honest.”

Her face softened at his confession. “I don’t want to lose you, either - that’s why I’m so worried.”

Although she hadn’t said it out loud, he knew why she was trying to keep him at a safe distance; she was fighting a war against herself - one where she chooses to make herself happy at the possible expense of another person, or the other, where she makes both of them miserable with the hope that he'd move on, eventually, and he’d be able live the life she’d dreamed of for herself.

“So then stop trying to push me away,” he said with gentle directness. He placed one hand on her freezing cheek and she leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering.

“You deserve to be happy and I’d just feel so guilty -”

He cut her off. “I know, baby, but don’t. You deserve to be happy, too.”

She nodded slowly, a small smile spreading across her lips. “I’d like that - to let myself be happy.”

“Good,” he breathed, smiling back. 

They sat together in silence for what felt like an eternity. Finally, she exhaled deeply, running her fingers through her hair. “I guess we have a lot to figure out, huh?”

He nodded. “We do, but we don’t have to rush anything. Just as long as we can both agree that we’re in this together.”

Suddenly her arms were wrapping around his neck, pulling them close together. He pressed his hands to her back, welcoming the embrace. “We’re in this together,” she promised.

[lumosinlove]

Solntse

part iv

Remus woke up slowly again on Saturday morning but it wasn’t as surprising this time. He spent a few moments blinking sleepily at the ceiling, then at the windows. There was a shoe leaning against the curtain gap like someone had tried to keep as little light from the room as possible. Remus smiled and pushed himself up on his elbows to look closer.

“Ridiculous.” He mumbled, then was distracted by the voice coming from the main room. It was mostly muffled but Remus could tell Sirius wasn’t speaking English. It reminded him sharply of the previous night and he had to lie down for a second again, blinking away any lingering arousal. He made it to the connected bath eventually and splashed some water on his face, used the toothbrush he had brought—just in case. He stood in front of his bag for a good three minutes, staring at Sirius’ suitcase next to him. It was open and overflowing a little. He felt stupid for not thinking to bring another set of clothes, and he really didn’t want to put his button down on right now. On the floor by the bed was the t-shirt Sirius had stripped off last night. After another long pause, he bent and grabbed, pulling the material over his head. It was a little heavy, like Remus could feel the high thread count. It was unbearably soft, nothing like his own clothes, which were all slightly stiff from the shitty laundromat soap. He looked at himself in the wardrobe mirror. The shirt hung around his thighs, showing only a sliver of his black briefs.

He looked…good, for him. He hoped Sirius wouldn’t mind.

The main room was chillier than the bedroom and he wished he had looked for some of Sirius’ nice thick socks, too.

“Я знаю, что проекты с вами, я отправил их.” Sirius was speaking in fast, frustrated Russian, “Нет, не говори мне, что нет, я знаю, что я сделал. Пожалуйста, не перебивай—“

It cut off when he saw Remus. Remus offered an awkward little wave, fighting off the overwhelming urge to pull on the hem of the shirt and Sirius’ eyes raked over him. Slowly.

He pulled the phone away from his ear, “Я должен перезвонить тебе.” He’d barely gotten the words out before he ended the call, “Remus.”

Remus offers a small smile, “Morning.”

Sirius’ returning one is a little blinding, “Morning, Remus. Sleep good?”

“Yeah, you?” Remus only then notices the still mostly full breakfast cart. Sirius sees him looking and motions him over.

“Yes, eat. For us. Good.” He tugs at the hem of Remus’ shirt when he gets close enough, smile turning soft, “Best.”

Remus isn’t sure if he’s referring to his sleep or Remus’ outfit.

He tries to pick up a croissant instead of blushing but ends up doing both, “Good. How was your call?”

Sirius makes a disgruntled sound and sits down hard in one of the chairs, pulling an omelette towards him, “Don’t want to know.”

Remus laughs a little and sits too, pulling his legs to his chest and curling his toes in.

“Hey,” Sirius grabs something from the couch ottoman and throws it in Remus’ lap, “Cold. Here. Very nice in no pants,” He smiles, tongue in cheek, “but cold.”

“Oh, I—“

“Put on, Remus. Is nice.”

The sweatshirt is gray and just as nice as everything else. And without a logo. Meaning it probably cost more than Remus’ entire wardrobe together.

“Hey,” Sirius nods at him while stabbing some eggs, “You like party?”

What? “What?”

Sirius laughs a little, “You know. Dance. Food. You not like?”

“Ah. No, I mean…maybe I would? I never really do anything like that.” He’s either working or resting up to work some more, save for the weekly visit with Lily and James.

Sirius looks somewhat delighted at this, “You like with me? I’m pay you, not worry. Can be same thing as a night. More if you want.”

Remus tears off a piece of the croissant and reaches for the jam on the table, “Okay. What’s the party for?”

“It’s client. I, uh. Sort of have lie?”

Remus raises an eyebrow when Sirius looks sheepish, “Oh?”

Sirius spreads his hands, palms up, “They like me. The client, he like me and ask a lot why I’m not like him. I maybe panic a little, say I’m have boyfriend. Only now he invite me to party, tell me to bring boyfriend.”

Remus feels his cheeks heat, “Oh.”

Sirius’ cheeks look like they’re doing the same, “I’m know, so stupid. Don’t have to if you not want. But…could be fun. We dance, kiss a bit, make look real. You come home with me after, if you want?” He smiles a little, “I like.”

Remus chews slowly. This is such a bad idea, pretending to be Sirius’ boyfriend. He almost says no. He should say no. “Sounds good. Should I, uh, how, or, what are you wearing?”

Sirius hums, “Have suit?”

Remus shakes his head, “Just the button down.” He flushes when he realizes what he just admitted, “I—Sorry.”

Sirius smiles though, “No ‘sorry,’ карамель! I’m take shopping. Fun, so fun. Okay? We find time before party?”

“I—Sirius, you don’t have to do that.”

Sirius grins, “Want to, okay? Really. So good, Remus. I’m happy you come, didn’t really want to be alone. People talk fast at party, is loud…” He looks down at his eggs, “Hard to follow, you know? Good to have someone. Good to have you.”

Remus pushes his hair off his forehead and offers a smile of his own, “I’m happy you’re happy.” It’s all he can think to say that isn’t too incriminating. Good to have you is still ringing in his ears a bit. They finish breakfast, then Sirius heads to work and Remus heads home until his night shift at Geno’s.

~

The party turns out to be the next Saturday, and by Wednesday Remus starts to think that’s when he’ll next see Sirius too. But that night while he’s with Frank, his phone starts buzzing mid hand job.

“You—You can get that.” Frank pants, which is, honestly, vaguely weird.

Remus is glad there’s the tv on so he doesn’t have to respond and just shakes his head and tightens his fist. Frank forgets about it until it buzzes again ten minutes later while Remus is getting dressed.

“So, do you like, uh, have a boyfriend now, or.”

“No.” Remus answers too quickly, “No, it’s probably just my boss or something.”

“Oh.” Frank cracks a smile, “Weird to think they called during that.”

“Good think I didn’t answer.” It comes out harsher than Remus meant to and he sighs. He puts a hand on Franks forearm, smiles a little flirty, “Hey, this was fun. See you soon?”

Frank brightens up, “Yeah.” He riffles through his wallet and hands Remus what he’s do, “See you, Remus.”

He’s a little ashamed of it, but he calls Sirius back the second he closes the door, bring the phone to his ear and the door to its frame at the same time.

“карамель.” Sirius’ voice sounds warm even through the speakers, “Sorry call twice, not urgent. If busy is okay.”

“I was with a client, sorry. I’m not busy now though. I’m just leaving. What’s up, Sirius?”

The phone line was quiet for a few beats too long, “Client. Ah, sorry interrupt.” He sounds more…somber, Remus, supposes, than he’s ever heard.

Remus winces, really not wanting Sirius to be thinking about what Remus was doing when he missed his call, “It was nothing, really.” He wants desperately to lighten the suddenly awkward mood, “I’m—I’m excited for the party on Friday. With you.”

“Yes? Will be fun. I’m think maybe see sooner though. You have time for shopping?”

Remus nods then closes his eyes and gives his head a little shake when he realizes he’s on the phone, “Yeah. I mean, yes, I don’t have a shift tomorrow until 5:00.” He doesn’t mention that it’s a double.

“Can I pick you up your house?”

“No.” Remus sounds just as frantic as he feels, “I mean, that’s probably just out of the way.” That sounds lame and he knows it, “Why don’t I come to you? I’d prefer it.” He adds, because Sirius is always so thoughtful about his comfort, and then feels like shit for using that against him.

“Okay, good.” Then, after a beat, “Excited, Remus. Like shopping lots.”

Remus smiles, thinking about the nice t-shirts and the leggings. He keeps hoping those will make another appearance but he hasn’t seen them yet, “Yeah? Well, that’s good because I’m absolutely shit at it.”

Sirius lets out a loud laugh right in his ear, “Never hear swear, карамель. Well, outside sex.”

Remus laughs, plugging his headphone in as he walks, “Sorry.”

“No.” Sirius lets out a little breath, and there’s a rustle like he’s settling into a chair maybe, holding the phone closer, “No, is good.”

Remus nods, shoves his hands into his pockets and smiles at the sidewalk.

“Hm. Have to go, Remus. Shop tomorrow. Meet at hotel. Nine…ah, ten morning.”

Remus laughs, “Okay, ten. See you.”

Sirius’ voice sounds incredibly soft through the speakers, “See you.”

~

Shopping for one suit for a party turns into Sirius trying to supply Remus with, well, much more than a single suit. Remus protests the entire time.

He holds up his bag, “Sirius, I have a suit. I let you buy me a, frankly, much too expensive suit.” That I have nowhere to properly store, he doesn’t add, “There’s no way I’m letting you—“

“But so fun, Remus.” Sirius is sporting a navy sweater, dark jeans and a white beanie that makes his black hair look stark and gorgeous and, quite honestly, Remus isn’t sure how he’s resisting anything this man says, “I’m not have anyone to do this for ever.”

And christ, his beanie matches his pristine white sneakers. Remus feels hot and completely unsure as to why he even likes that. He takes a deep breath, “I don’t need new clothes. Thank you for the suit.” Then, his brain clicks back on, “No one…ever?”

Sirius pauses in refolding the shirt he was looking at, glancing from under the brim of his beanie, “Ah, no.” He smoothes the shirt after he folds it, “Sort of hard, you know? Get job young. Lots of money. Most want money, is it.” He huffs and a flash of anger, or maybe simply frustration crosses his face, “I’m can tell early. I’m ask on date and they ask—they ask some,” He waves his hand and shuffles over to a rack of leather jackets, “crazy place. They ask clothes and jewelry and…”

His shoulders are rising a little faster now and Remus stops at his shoulder, wanting to be close but unsure if Sirius wants it. He stands so that their shoulders are brushing but pretends to look at the jackets.

Sirius’ voice is quiet when he speaks, eyes unfocused, “They ask everything but me.” He swallows and his voice comes out thick, “You know?”

“Sirius.” Remus feels like he only has half his voice. He presses his hand to Sirius’ shoulder, “I…That’s horrible, I’m sorry.” He opens and closes his mouth a few times, “God. I…I don’t even know what to say.” They end up just standing by the leather jackets for a while, Remus’ thumb rubbing softly over the neck of Sirius’ sweater, wanting to brush skin and not be too obvious about it.

“Is okay.” Sirius sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. He sends Remus a wavering smile, “Has to happen one day. Just have hope.”

And just like that, Remus feels—he is—pushed out of the running. He shifts a few more jackets around while Sirius composes himself a little more. Maybe it’s what he does, this job, he thinks. Sirius doesn’t like it. Maybe its how he looks, although he didn’t think the sex would be so good if that were the case. He thinks about Sirius’ pause on the phone after he’d said he’d been with Frank and sighs. He can’t help what he has to do to put food on the table. He wishes he could tell Sirius it isn’t forever, even that he’d hoped he wouldn’t have to do it for this long, but…but. But he doesn’t want to talk about it. But he doesn’t want to lose Sirius by talking about it.

“Hey, you want lunch?”

Remus looks up to see Sirius’ smiling softly. He knocks their shoulders together. Remus smiles back and the cloud feels like it’s passing. Just a little.

“Sure, but I’m paying.”

Sirius smiles hugely and carries Remus’ bag for him all the way to the restaurant, and lets them part ways there instead of asking questions about why Remus won’t let him drive him home. And it’s enough. Because it has to be.

Sirius, once alone in his car, tucks the receipt for the lunch Remus bought him into his wallet. Sticky rice and sweet and sour chicken.

~

Sirius in a suit is a little heartbreaking. He opens the door to their usual suite and Remus almost wants to turn around because this is going to be hard. He also wants to push Sirius against a wall and take the offending garment off of him.

“Look good, Remus.” Sirius closes the door behind him and turns to smooth his hands down Remus’ chest, his arms. It’s a series of hard, powerful strokes and Remus wants to stumble under them but digs his heels in, “I’m knew grey good color for you, I’m knew.”

Remus smiles at the phrasing, brings one hand to cover one of Sirius’ and squeezes, “Thanks. You too.”

“Okay.” Sirius glances at his watch—his fucking huge, ridiculous watch—and then smoothes once more over Remus’ shoulders appreciatively, “So, we pretend boyfriends, yes? Want to know what is okay to do. Kissing?”

Remus nods, a little bit thoroughly touched—as usual, “Yeah.”

“I’m hold?” He brushes Remus’ waist.

“Mhm.”

Sirius’ smile turns playful, “You can hold and kiss, too.”

Thank god.

Remus holds out his hand and watches Sirius’ fingers slide between his own before looking up at him, trying for a relaxed grin, “We’ll do great, yeah? No worries.”

~

Remus is introduced to people in a blur. He’s shaking hands with one hand and holding Sirius’ with the other. Or he’s nodding hello’s and Sirius’ arm is weaving around his waist. It’s altogether not a bad start to the night. It’s also the first time it occurs to Remus that he’s out in public with Sirius, not just once, but twice. Not a bad night.

Especially not when Sirius leans in and whispers lowly in his ear to be heard over the music, “We get drinks?”

The make their way through a sea of mingling bodies towards the bar and Sirius leans in close so they can look at cocktail specials together. There’s a dark and stormy that looks like the perfect mix of thirst quench and buzz. It’s fifteen dollars and Remus cringes.

“You want anything?” Sirius’ palm is warm on his lower back, “Not have to.”

“I—Yeah, I’m okay. Just some water.”

Sirius nods and flags the bartender, ordering Remus’ water and himself something that Remus doesn’t catch but arrives clear and glassy with vodka and ice cubes.

“Try if want.” The tiny straw that is in it looks ridiculous against Sirius lips and Remus watches his wet them.

He finds himself leaning in, “Kissing was okay, right?”

Sirius’ smile is honey and slow and he nods, “Yes, kissing okay.”

And Remus does. He tastes the sharp tang of vodka and lime in Sirius’ mouth, then licks deeper and finds just him. Remus imagines he can taste the black tea Sirius always orders. Sirius’ eyes are dazed and hooded when he pulls back. “Okay?” Remus asks.

Sirius doesn’t respond. He draws Remus back in with am arm around his shoulders and bites gently at Remus’ lower lip as he kisses him soundly. “Solntse.” He murmurs.

Remus’ eyes are still closed, legs unsteady when he asks, “What does that mean?”

“Sirius! Sirasha!”

They more or less jump and Remus watches Sirius have to blink a few times against the flashing club lights to see who is calling his name.

“Client.” He mumbles against Remus’ temple, “Start of party? Name Alex, call Sasha.” He sends him a private smile, “Little name.”

Remus nods, “Host of party. Is that the same as Sirasha?” Sirius nods and Remus burns with how much he likes that, “Is he the one who…”

“Sirasha!” Sasha presses a hand right to Sirius’ neck, dragging down over his chest, “Я так рад, что ты мог прийти, мой друг.”

Sirius sends Remus a look and Remus has to bite back a smile as he watches him subtly step away from Sasha’s grasp, “English, Sasha. Remushya not understand. This is Remus, I’m tell you about.”

Remus is still getting over whatever sweet sounding thing Sirius just did to his name when Sasha holds out his hand—a little too aggressively, “Not Russian? Interesting. You’re sure you want to speak English, Sirius? I don’t know if you can keep up.”

Sirius flushes across his cheeks, “You know I’m understand better than speak.”

“Just a joke, Sirka.” He nods to the glass in Sirius’ hand, “Drink that, lighten up, my friend.”

 Remus takes Sasha’s hand—a little too firmly, “Sirius is building something for you?”

Sasha retracts his hand after a moment, squeezing it at the center of his palm and nodding a little warily, “Yes…I own a chain of hotels. Sirius is helping me reboot them. What people want is changing all the time, you know?”

“Sure.” Remus really doesn’t like him. Or his platinum blond hair. It looks sort of straw-like.

Sirius’ arm loops snugly around his hips and Remus leans into him, “Good party. Thanks for ask to come. You know everyone here?”

“Not at all.” Sasha laughs, “I invite my friends, they invite theirs. That’s what makes it nice, no? No pressure. Just music, good drinks, food.” He looks somewhere to the left of Remus, raises his glass in a greeting, “I should go say hello. Enjoy, любовники.”

As soon as he walks away Sirius groans, “Not fun. Good thing he pay most. What word for…not mean, but like mean?”

“Rude.” Remus shakes his head at Sasha’s back, “Jesus. What did he say at the end?”

Sirius considers the translation for a few moments, lip pulled devastatingly between his teeth, “Ah…like in love? But like sex.”

“I…Lovers?”

Sirius shrugs, “Sound right, but I’m not know.” He grabs Remus’ hand, setting his still mostly full drink down, “Hey, want dance with me?”

“I—Sure, yeah.” Remus is not a dancer but he damn sure wants to see Sirius dance. The thought gets even better when Sirius slides his suit jacket from around his shoulders and drapes it over the back of a random chair. He undoes the top button of his shirt, loosens his tie. Then he does the same for Remus.

“Wait, what if someone takes it?”

Sirius gives him a look, taking his hand and already pulling him away, “Who take? Why?”

“Well,” Remus shoots a look back at their jackets, “What if someone spills on it?”

Sirius snorts and draws him in, other dancing bodies surrounding them. Remus loses sight of the chair and looks up at Sirius’ face. The music feels like a hum here, real but not. The other dancers feel like a blur. They’re in a circle of their own. “Remus, not worry so much. Come with me.”

And Remus really, really can’t say no to that. He’s not sure he would have said no if Sirius had asked him that the first time he ever opened the door to suite 12, and that scares him a little. He’s not sure if Sirius would follow him anywhere at all.

But that’s hard to think about when Sirius is spinning him around and his warm chest is pressed against the entirety of Remus’ back. His palms cover his hips, fingers dipping into the crease leading between his thighs. The fact that they reach that far is almost hotter than the touch. Not to mention how close this position mirrors that of their last night spent together. The thought has his stirring in his dress pants.

“I’m think about it, too.” Sirius says right into his ear.

They’ve been here all of thirty minutes and Remus is ready to leave. But he wants to dance with Sirius. He turns, knowing its a bad idea, and presses their hips together, gasping when he feels that Sirius is hard for him, too. A long line that feels hot against Remus’ hip, even through the fabric. Remus’ entire face heats with the urge to grind against that bulge until the fabric is soaked with Sirius’ come. Sirius makes a low noise, one that Remus is half sure he imagined because he can just barely hear it over the music, and runs his hands up Remus’ hips and back.

“You come home tonight?” Sirius whispers, brushing their lips together.

Remus closes his eyes. Those words, this entire moment feels all too private to be happening in the middle of a fully swinging club. Remus doesn’t want two people around much less two hundred. Home. Remus wishes that’s what it was.

“Yeah.” He says anyway, and pretends it’s because he’s hard and he doesn’t want to actually go home to his freezing apartment and hand. He’d sat shivering in his bed just last night, hand wrapped around himself and on his side. He’d wadded up his comforter at his back, like a warm chest could be pressed there. He’d come at the thought of Sirius sliding into him, hot and bare, while he let Remus fuck his fist. Now that he can feel the hard line of Sirius’ cock right there, it’s all the worse, and his own dick releases a sudden drool of pre-come into his boxers. He leans into Sirius’ pushing against his body.

 He wanted the warmth, Sirius was warm. He was painfully kind and generous. So handsome. All of those things radiated heat that soaked Remus to his very core in a completely new feeling. He wanted the safety he offered, which, really, translated somewhat over to his immense wealth. It offered a security that Remus had always, always lacked, and the fact that Sirius made him want it, want it from him, made Remus feel immeasurably guilty.

So, he decided, right there under the artificial heat of flashing colored lights, while half of him was dizzy with arousal. Decided that this was purely sexual, that it would remain purely transactional. He would not use Sirius like that. Ever. And even if, by some miraculous turn of events, Sirius liked Remus as more than a comfort during business travels, an out for an aggressive customer, he’d still refuse. Because then it would be worse. Then Remus would be using Sirius under the mask of feelings.

“Hey, where you go, карамель?” Sirius’ presses a hot, open mouthed kiss to Remus’ neck, “Still want dance?” His rolls his hips forward, “Or go now.”

Remus opens his eyes and blinks at the ceiling, dark and tall above, and Sirius mouths at his neck. His heart is beating hard, somewhere between pleasure and pain. “Whatever you want, Sirius.” He brings his hands up to tangle in Sirius’ hair, brushes his thumb over the chain glinting at his neck, “Whatever you want.”

He doesn’t give Sirius a chance to protest, and kisses him hard in the sea of dancers.

(A/N: Woo, here we go! The beginning of that niiiiceee conflicty angst that you all say you don’t want but, don’t worry, I know you secretly love it as much as I do. Enjoy!)

Russian Translations (roughly, I do not speak this language at all, guys):

Solntse: Russian word for sun.

Я знаю, что проекты с вами, я отправил их: I know the papers are with you, I sent them.

Нет, не говори мне, что нет, я знаю, что я сделал. Пожалуйста, не перебивай—: No, do not tell me no, I know what I did. Please do not interrupt--

Я должен перезвонить тебе.: I have to call you back.

Я так рад, что ты мог прийти, мой друг.: I'm so glad you could come, my friend.

любовники: Lovers

[purplesurveys]

532

Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? I have a laptop. Do you watch America's Got Talent? I watch viral clips on YouTube, but I don’t follow the show. And usually I’d only watch the golden buzzer entries, too. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? I don’t really have favorites but I remember how refreshing it was to watch Grace VanderWaal’s audition for the first time. What chore are you behind on? My closet is a MESS and I really have to reorganize everything because 3/4 of the time I can’t find the pieces of clothing I want to wear anymore. Which stovetop burner do you use the most? I used to use the leftmost one all the time, but two months ago it had a little explosion while I was trying to cook hotdogs and I’ve never used the stove again since.

What is the last online store you shopped at? I was on the National Bookstore website to look at some history books I wanted to buy. ...and what did you buy? I didn’t get anything. How often do you do laundry? I don’t; my parents prefer to do it themselves. What color pants are you wearing right now? Red, but they’re shorts. I don’t wear pants at home. Have you ever broke your phone screen? I’ve done this to every single phone I’ve owned. Even my iPhone 8′s tempered glass has already scored a few cracks. Have you ever broke your computer screen? My old HP laptop was with me for a very long time so through time it just kind of started deteriorating by itself, laptop screen included. Does your computer monitor currently have a scratch or dent in it? Noooooo no no not this one. I’d protect my Mac to the death haha. Do you wear glasses? I do. ...if yes, how old were you when you got glasses? I was 11 when I got my first pair, but tbh I needed them much earlier. My mom just never believed me when I said I needed glasses when I was 9 because she used to think I just wanted to be fashionable and look like the other kids who had glasses early on. Have you been bored today? Yes, but only for a short time. My mom ran a quick errand this afternoon and I was stuck doing nothing in a drugstore for a bit. What type of milk do you drink? Welp as much as possible I don’t really drink it on the sole basis that I can’t, lmao. I don’t really know the differences, but I think I consume whole whenever I do consume milk. Have you had a headache today? Nope, but I had several ones over the last week. What department store do you shop at the most? I’d typically go to SM malls when I have department store needs. Which grocery store do you shop at the most? I prefer Ayala groceries since they have more high-end and imported stuff than other malls. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? We don’t have ‘self-checkout’ here; I don’t even know what that means. We have cashiers who do the work for us, if that’s what regular checkout means. Do you watch birth vlogs? NO. Watching those just makes me scared. I’d rather experience childbirth on my own when the time comes. Do you have kids? I don’t. Do you know what you want to name your kids? I have one name locked in, and I am 100% considering naming my kid/s after my girlfriend’s parents. I don’t know yet how she’d feel about it but knowing how close she is to them, I think she will be okay with the tribute. Which time of your life do you miss the most? Pre-school, I guess? My biggest worrries were reaching Hi-5 when I would come back home by noon and making sure Swiper didn’t swipe anything from Dora and Boots lmao. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Gab and Angela. And now, Nacho. Did you watch the first season of American Idol? I didn’t. I started watching only by season 7, with the two Davids. Is it sweater weather yet where you are? Not quite sweater just yet, but it’s starting to be a little chillier in the evenings. Days can still get annoyingly hot, though. What is your most severe allergy? I don’t have any. Do you like your middle name? Middle name can mean two things in the Philippines - it’s either your second given name or your maiden name. I like both of mine, though. What is one thing of yours that is falling apart? The morale I have left for this semester. Do you hate anyone so much that you wish they were dead? The Marcoses. AND SO MANY OTHER POLITICIANS. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? Kinda? My high school friends and I were playing a card game at a McDonald’s a few years ago; they were getting louder as the game progressed, but I was a little more conscious than the rest so I started distancing myself from them and focused on my phone. Eventually an old, cranky man had enough, probably told an employee, and we were asked to leave. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Not showing enough appreciation for people who are already out of my life. Do you have any regrets? Some, here and there. I don’t like to dwell on them. Who is the most recent friend to have let you down? Those who found it easy to turn their backs on, attack, and cyberbully my now-dead friend and still had the audacity to show up at his wake and shake the hands of his parents, telling him what a great guy he was. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? I blocked my brother on all social media after what he did to me early in the year. He’s gonna stay blocked. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on youtube? I’ve heard of them but never watched anything of theirs nor do I know anything about them other than their names. ...If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? What is a song that has memories attached to it for you? Some Things Cosmic by Angel Olsen. Do you wish you could relive your 20's? I’ve barely started mine. What is your favorite thing about fall? Have you had the same favorite food/color/holiday since you were a kid? Nope. Before, it was spaghetti/purple/Christmas; it’s burgers/pink/Halloween now. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? Katrina. She was my first and only. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? Without Seeing the Dawn by Stevan Javellana. Did you ever skip class because you hadn't finished your homework? Nooooooo, I hate the idea of missed requirements (in college, at least). I skip class when I’m too lazy or need a sanity break. What do you want for your birthday this year? I already celebrated it. I dreaded my birthday this year and didn’t ask for anything. Do you like rock music? Some. Do you enjoy camping? I’ve never tried. Would you rather sleep in a tent or under the stars? In a tent, because I’m guessing as wonderful as it sounds to sleep under the stars, it might be incredibly itchy? What is the best thing that ever happened to you? I have a lot of memories I can rank as ‘best’ depending on the context. What is your most missed memory? Right now, it’s everything that’s got to do with Nacho. His nickname for me, the song Buwan by juan karlos, all the puns he made, all the songs played at his wake. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? Batanes. Have you ever witnessed someone else do something embarrassing? Sure. Do you get motion sickness? Yes, and I have them pretty bad, too. I can’t really read in moving vehicles and barely power through when I do have to use my phone while in transport. What do you usually take for headaches? Biogesic. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? This hasn’t happened to me. Do you film or record your deoctor's appointments? No? Do people do that? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? I’m proudest for getting into UP. Do you feel like you've accomplished anything yet with your life? Of course, I feel like at this point I can already pat myself on the back for several things. Do you dance in the rain? No, I hate getting wet from the rain. What song do you have stuck in your head right now? I’m listening to the playlist I made for Nach and Wonderwall is currently playing, so by default, it’s stuck in my head. What is your favorite scent for deodorant? Idk I don’t have a favorite scent. As long as it smells pleasant, I guess?? because that’s the point of deodorants??? Were you ever a member of the site Meez? Never even heard of that. Do you ever miss Myspace bulletins? Nope. What is your favorite app on your phone? Currently, it’s Mario Kart Tour.

[jos-corner-of-the-world]

Baker and her Star - {21}

{20}

You didn’t have enough time to psych yourself up because you wanted to make yourself as presentable as possible.

Hoshi had seen you sick and looking pretty rough, but it was different now.  Now there were feelings involved.  You weren’t sure exactly what to label those feelings, on either side, but they were there nonetheless.

Since it was still fairly cold out, you decided on your gray sweater dress with a pair of leggings.  You knew you weren’t going anywhere extravagant so you could get away with what you wanted to wear.  You threw your hair up into a half ponytail and topped the look off with some mascara and a dash of lipstick.

You hadn’t realized how much time had passed when you were surprised by the knock on your dorm door.  This was only the third time someone has knocked on your door this year, and all three were Hoshi.

You quickly grabbed your coat, gloves and purse before making sure your phone and wallet were in your purse.

You opened the door, heart beating loudly in your chest.

You felt your heartbeat pick up impossibly faster when you saw him.  He had ditched the ever present beanie.  He had on a pair of fitted light blue jeans, a white sweater, and a black and white striped coat.  It really made the red of his hair stand out, and you quite enjoyed it.

“You look really pretty.” Hoshi said shyly, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

“Thank you. So do you. I mean handsome. Good. You look good.” You said.

Way to start the day by being an absolute basket case you thought to yourself.

Hoshi let out a cute laugh and thanked you.

“So...where are we going?” Hoshi asked you as you shut your dorm door.

“Um...I actually haven't thought that far ahead” you admitted to him. And you really hadn't. The invitation came out of your mouth so suddenly that you hadn't even thought of places.

“Okay. Well there's the small little noodle place down the block, or the Chinese restaurant a few doors down from there. Either one of those sound good?” He asked.

“Oh, I could go for some sweet and sour chicken and some dumplings.” You said, your mouth watering.

“Chinese food it is.” he laughed.

The walk there started quiet and comfortable.

“It's a little bit chillier than I had expected.” Hoshi said after a few moments of silence.

“It is. I grabbed my gloves but not my hat. Kind of regretting that now.” You laughed.

“I have my beanie if you want to wear it.” he said, pulling said beanie out of his coat pocket.

“No, that’s okay. You go ahead.” you told him, waving the hat off.

“I don’t need it, I’m plenty warm. I just always carry it around.”

“Oh...well if you’re sure.” you said, holding your hand out for the hat.

Hoshi smiled brightly at you as he watched you put the hat on.

“Why do you carry it around if you don’t wear it?” you asked.

“I only wear the hat because sometimes the hair gets plenty of people staring at it.  But I’m not worried about that today.”

“Why aren’t you worried about it?”

“Because you like the color so I’m not going to hide it.”

All of the sudden you felt like you didn’t need the beanie either.  The blush that crept up your face heated you from chin to head and everywhere in between.

“I’m sorry. Was that too forward?” Hoshi asked after you had yet to say anything.

“No? I don’t think so.” you answered, unsure of the feelings and words you were trying to verbalize.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Hoshi said quietly.

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable.” you told him.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I just don’t know what to say. Everything is so new and I’m awkward.”

“I’m sorry. Will you please tell me if I say something that makes you uncomfortable?” he asked seriously.

“Probably not.” you admitted.

“What? Why not?”

“Because I don’t like conflict either.”

You didn’t want to lie to Hoshi and tell him that you would, because you already knew you could never outright tell him so.  It would put a lot of pressure on him and he would feel guilty.  But you also knew that Hoshi wasn’t someone who would do anything to make you intentionally uncomfortable so anything he said or did that happened to would be an accident.

But that knowledge just made you feel even worse.  You didn’t want Hoshi to have to walk on eggshells around you or censor what he says or does in fear of overstepping a boundary.  It wasn’t fair to him to have to do that.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this.” you said suddenly, stopping your path to the restaurant.

“Are you not hungry?” he asked.

“I don’t mean lunch. I mean, I do mean lunch, but I mean this.” you said, waving your hands between the two of you.

“This?” Hoshi asked, seeming to not understand what you were getting at.

“Whatever we’re starting or not starting here. I don’t think it’s a good idea anymore.”

“Can I ask why?”

Hoshi’s voice stopped the mild panic growing inside of you.  It was a weird mixture of sad, but understanding.

“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to hold a conversation with most people, let alone someone I like.  You’re a really nice guy and I can tell you’re a good guy too. You shouldn’t have to think about everything you say before you say it. You shouldn’t have to worry about accidentally offending the person you’re talking to because their brain is different.  You’re going to get so sick of me so fast and that’s not fair to you.”

“That doesn’t seem fair to you either.” Hoshi said after a moment of thinking.

“What?”

“You worry so much about other people and their feelings that you don’t seem to take your own into consideration.  That wouldn’t be fair to you if I got sick of you after spending time with you.  In the hopes of not making you uncomfortable I would like to say that I know I’ll never get sick of you.  Even if there’s no talking, your presence is still soothing. Also…”

“Also?” you asked, wanting him to continue.

“I like you as well.  In that aspect, we’re similar.  I’m nervous just standing here with you.  I can be obnoxious and annoying, I know that.  I think there’s a better chance of you getting sick of me than the other way around.  I think this whole thing is as new to me as it is to you.  I would like to navigate this experience with you, but I also understand if you don’t want to. If you want, I’ll walk you back to your dorm and we can pretend the whole thing never happened.”

You heard his words, but you were stuck on his first few sentences.  He liked you. He was nervous.

“You’re nervous?” you asked him.

“Absolutely. You’re really pretty and really smart. I like talking to you and just hanging out with you. It’s all very new to me and I feel like I’m going to mess it all up.”

“I...I don’t know why, but I doubt that is possible.” you told him honestly.

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you.” Hoshi admitted.

You stood there staring into Hoshi’s warm eyes for a few seconds.  He was nervous. He didn’t want to mess up.  He liked you.

It was a lot of the same things you were feeling right now.  A small smile spread across your face.

Your heart seemed to know the answer your head was struggling with.

“You’re smiling.  That’s a good thing right?” he asked, tone now hopeful.

“I think so. I’m sorry. I’m weird and overthink things.”

“You know what’s good for overthinking?” Hoshi asked.

“No. What?”

“Dumplings.”

“Good to know. I think I need a lot of them right now.” you said, starting back on the path to the restaurant.

“Well Y/n, it’s a good thing we have all day then.”

{22}