#it’s causing me physical distress
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RicNation, as optimistic as I am about #ricbull2024, I really don’t think the filming day in Imola is going to about the second RBR seat…perhaps…maybe…it is about the second VCARB seat…as much as I don’t want to admit it. Why else would they be driving the 2022 AT car?
Anyways, I hope for the sake of Lawson, Perez and Daniel’s careers that the filming day goes smoothly and that they base their final decision on solid data (please please please please please sign Daniel for next year, idc where, any contract will do)
#I have never been more stressed about a decision#and dear god pls let Daniel have a seat next year#i cannot do this anymore#it’s causing me physical distress#daniel ricciardo#f1
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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I don't think I realized how overstimulated and stressed out I get until I started wearing noise-canceling headphones pretty much 90% of the time and the special glasses I wear over the top of my RX glasses that filter my peripheral vision as well as provide extra light blocking.
Usually, I'm not even listening to anything on the headphones; I'm just filtering out the sounds of everything else. No more sound of traffic outside, no more low electrical humming that no one else seems able to hear. Just me and my thoughts, which are actually a lot more coherent when I'm not battling the noise of the world just to literally try and hear myself think.
It's nice.
#ADHD#adult adhd#reminded of that scene in elementary#where Sherlock wonders what his life would have been like if he'd been born in a quieter time#and yeah#yeah#that scene always hits home to me#but it's been hitting home a lot more since I started actively blocking out the world#and realizing how much physical and emotional distress it causes me
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I would prefer it if doing tasks didn't feel like mentally shoving my brain through a cheese grater
#anecdotes by peachdoxie#executive dysfunction#like it causes me literal physical distress trying to do something if my brain doesn't want to
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...Did they seriously just advocate for playing the Ace Attorney series out of order? No way, they did not just do that.
Not playing Ace Attorney in order is absolutely detrimental to your experience of the story. Sure most games recap the events of the previous ones. But hearing about these events in strings of dialog isn't the same as seeing them unfold in game.
There's absolutely no way to connect with certain games properly without playing in order. If you start with aa4, you're not going to care about a random washed-up disbarred attorney. Because you haven't experienced his story yet! Imagine playing investigations collection without knowing who Edgeworth is! It takes away so many elements from the story if you have no baseline knowledge of the timeline.
#ace attorney#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#pw:aa#apollo justice#ace attorney investigations#apollo justice trilogy#I did not like the recap#I was dying of cringe 90% of the time#the voice acting was causing me physical distress#I did greatly enjoy the pink sparkle Edgeworth scene tho!#Very babygirl!
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"You actually were alive?"
#kamen rider geats#kamen rider buffa#michinaga azuma#azuma michinaga#kamen rider#flashing lights tw#flashing lights#userdramas#umbrella.gifs#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#translation: izusubs#subtitles added by me#we need more transformations that are just physically painful tbh#the fact that michinaga keeps using this buckle even though it obviously causes him pain and distress is so important to showing#who he is and how he is so consistent with his drive and his strength#he had a goal and he's standing for it even if he keeps getting hit down even if it's by his own decisions that he knows will come to bite#him back in the end there's just a lot of interesting things that they implemented into his physical trials that help reinforce his#mentality and reflect his declining mental health/care for himself#makes it all the more meaningful when he lets himself enjoy things like a good meal#i have a lot of feelings about this don't worry about it
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I really need to revamp my aliens au because I stole so many concepts from that AU and shoved them into CS as I had written the initial Aliens post a bit before CS was created. Now I want to make it fresh but still creature-feature with the boys—just Alien Edition™
Just to list off a few things I originally envisioned for this AU:
Sun and Moon can hear heartbeats. Specifically hear, unlike the cryptid boys who have a whole sense for it, but nonetheless, the whole heart awareness started here. I'm thinking of maybe changing this to Alien!Sun/Moon picking up on Y/N's breathing or scrapping it entirely.
Y/N is enthusiastic and wants to study the boys. I think Scientist Y/N can bypass the whole fear thing pretty easily and go straight to nerding out, whereas CS!Y/N is very much in denial about their excitement, and rationalizes it as 'for the hunt'. I think I can make it interesting via scientist Y/N for the Aliens AU even if it's still a concept of 'wants to learn about an intriguing subject that now involves the boys'. Just different flavors.
Sun/Moon eating very unpleasant things. Of course, cryptid boys eat hearts, but the alien boys are just hungry for any kind of meat, and hey, with a desolate and dark ship filled with recently slaughtered humans, it's kind of an all-you-can-eat buffet.
That's the summary of concept similarities, but I do want to focus on the difference, such as, of course:
there being two alien creatures.
how different everything will function in a setting within space/spaceship.
a language barrier between scientist Y/N, and Sun and Moon.
a focus on Y/N's physical trauma with their blown-off arm. They're going to want to make the journey through the desolate spaceship to retrieve said arm that has been preserved and then need to get to the medical bay (think protective cylinder) to hopefully have the ship's installed medical AI and tools perform surgery to reattach it, which is a big risk when there's something else roaming the gray halls that even intimidating and powerful aliens Sun and Moon would rather Y/N doesn't encounter.
Sun and Moon also have their own designs and special abilities relating to their celestial themes as well as indulging in freaky monster details, like Moon's 'nightcap'. It is extremely long and acts as a sensitive feeler for things in the air and is somewhat prehensile. Sun's sun rays have more purpose than just being pointy and armor-plate-like, as well as having those same plates on his spine, and he almost seems to be on the brink of being too hot, sometimes radiating heatwaves like an oven.
their alien design is a mix of translucent, starry, and colored flesh, almost like jelly but smooth and slightly cool and moist to the touch, coating the bones of Fazco brand endoskeletons.
their legs are digitigrade.
their mouths are wide and look like they're smiling all the time, but their mouths can get bigger and open even wider, especially when they're eating/attacking—it's as if their entire face is going to split in half but nope, that's just to let out their other teeth.
That's all I have for now. I want to think about it some more.
#i want to focus on y/n's journey through processing the physical mental and emotional trauma of losing a limb#and that unfortunately means that the surgery doesn't go well (including how much distress it causes sun and moon to be separated from you)#(as watching metal sharp things produce by human technology start working on you while separated by glass that even they can't break)#(is a bit stressful for aliens)#random burst of inspiration for this au i haven't touched in months take it or leave it lol#i've been thinking about aliens a lot lately#aliens au#this just hit me as last thoughts: moon could sense y/n's breathing with his feeler nightcap thing#sun could sense y/n's body temperature and if they got too hot or too cold#okay posting now
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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phewwww did a lot of cleansing and letting go this morning that was very needed 🫡
#felt like an episode of mob psycho over here#i feel like i can breathe again#had some obejcts that were causing me distress so I had to seal some and break others#combo of physical clearing and spiritual#I don’t talk about it much but I have a history of spiritual awareness so I have to be careful at times#i had footsteps in the house with no psysical person so I realized I needed to do some cleansing and warding#amethyst rambles
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6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke…..
🏝️🤙🏄🏾♀️🏄🏼♂️💔
#seemed appropriate to use t swift lyrics since I associated so many of her songs with them &haven’t been able to listen to any of them sinc#I don’t even want to say their names#if you know you know#purging them from my life has been depressing as hell#I’m so fucking sick of behind the scenes bullshit ruining my favourite ships#this is the THIRD TIME this has happened to me btw#I’ve genuinely been in mourning#I’m not even exaggerating when I say that finale triggered a days long anxiety attack for me#it’s so ridiculous how something that wasn’t even real caused me to have physical symptoms of distress but it’s true#my heart wouldn’t stop racing. chest was tight. started shaking a few times. felt lightheaded. couldn’t sleep. eating made me sick#it was awful#but now I’ve mostly moved on to anger#I’m angry at a lot of people involved for different reasons#I’m also angry because I’ve lost my inspiration to write#I was solely committed to writing about them the past few years and now that they’re over I have no desire to write for them or another shi#I’m crushed that I’ve lost my joy for writing those ficlets but it’s too painful now. probably always will be tbh#feeling pretty lost creatively…#thank god I made a new friend on here before shit hit the fan#she and I have been venting out our sadness and frustrations together and it’s helped a lot#I hope everyone else in the fandom was able to find support like I did#I know my exit from the fandom was abrupt but I had just finished watching and was reacting purley on raw emotion#but I still think it was my best way to cope with it all#apologies for the rant and to everyone following me who don’t know wtf I’m talkimg about but I was thinking about them today#and I needed to unload a bit#I’m not going to tag anything but I do miss this fandom terribly#I’m still at a point where I don’t want to hear anything about this show or ship ever again… but yeah… I really miss those good times#take me back to the season 3 hype#THIS is the bad place#personal#laura says things
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Seeing Elizabeth Keen X Raymond Reddington Gives Me Physical Distress/Srs
Now, Usually, Do I Shit On People For Shipping Age Gaps? No (As Long As They're Both LEGAL ADULTS).
Do I Shit On People For Shipping Straight Ships? Also No (Unless One Or Both Are Explicitly Attracted To Just The Same Gender).
But Something About... Lizzington Just... Irks Me (Cough Cough, S.5, E.1 Cough Cough)
#being a woman includes murder#actuallyautistic#the blacklist#There Are Other Characters To Ship Elizabeth With#cough cough#samar navabi#Yes#I Ship#lizvabi#It Causes Me The Least Physical Distress#Also#Is It Obvious I've Only Watched Up To Season 5 So Far?
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i truly truly truly believe that if you put a default ringtone/alarm clock sound in your movie/tv show/commercial/video/etc that you should be put down
#because why are you trying to cause me physical and emotional distress#i’m very fragile#and prone to migraines#why are you trying to jumpscare me in an advertisement for medicine
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dnd is one of the safest ways to *feel emotions*... Tal took them on a thrill ride, I don't think anybody is that mad for it...
#i haven't watched it yet#so idk what everyone is going on about#i mean i know emotions were running high#but i guess it just proves they care about these characters just as much as us#that it causes them physical reactions to see them in peril#it's a win win for me. i love seeing actor in distress#fun distress i mean#also guys stop making such a big deal out of it. people were making the same speeches about fcg and the magical bull#and look at us#cr stuff#cr spoilers
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Me when I get suggested an artist I blacklisted just because they've changed their blog name again :
#I don't like blocking people over fandom disagreements but wazam I might just this time around#I feel physically sick when I see their art because of the distress it caused me back then#I don't even remember the details of why but it's such a violent gut reaction I try to avoid their stuff like the plague#Like very occasionally I wonder ❝um why did I blacklist them again ?❞#And I end up finding a post of theirs on my dash and just go ❝ah ok nevermind❞#I don't want to block people over fandom stuff#Like it's not even drama it's just that they headcanons & stuff upset me for some reason#I mean it's just. Brain being stupidly oversensitive again.#I wouldn't want to block someone who did nothing wrong#berry rambles
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on a show of hands who here remembers how possession works in the 80s universe it was SO long ago I'm assuming none of you do
#anyway the kids pilot edgar like a fucken. mech all the time and he just kinda lets it happen because experiencing living again makes-#-them happy#it only dies down when Isaac and Noah enter the picture and 1. he does not want them using him as a meat puppet and scaring off isaac n noa#2. once they actually know about the ghosts and they can see how badly it fucks him up because of how frequently they do it...#they put their foot down about it#they just take a while to realize what is actually happening bc. it's edgar.#finding him throwing up isn't something unusual. like he is actually in pretty decent health aside from his disabilities in jack's universe#but you cannot look me in the eye and say that you'd be surprised to find him looking gaunt and about to pass out it's edgar.#common side effects of possession include:#memory loss; nausea; dissociation; phantom pains; brain fog; vertigo; and delayed response to stimuli#but that's just the physical effects. if your body is fighting to kick out a spirit (which edgar's usually isn't) it causes a lot of-#-mental distress and paranoia#the phantom pains specifically are your body and mind trying to sort itself out. the spirit still retains the wounds that lead to death#e.g.; eddie would experience shortness of breath and tension/pain in his neck when mads is controlling him#bc she was strangled
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if season three happens and aziraphale apologizes to crowley and crowley says 'i forgive you' back to him BAM 55 dead 155 injured there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth
#just finished good omens 😃👍#it caused me great physical pain and emotion distress#good omens#good omens spoilers#readerrabbitsuperfan
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