#it’s been over a month since I actually felt well you guys. pray for me

[cottonkhaleesi]

In my third/fourth continuous* illness and that means I have sewn some squares together and then had to undo all my work because I’d sewn the wrong sides together. So instead doing mindless upcycling cardboard boxes. Much easier and the bonus is that one of these still contains a few chocolates from day 11 of the fibre exchange advent calendar from @swords-n-spindles. Also used up all the grey wood effect vinyl and yes it may not be very clean but by the gods I managed to fill that gap.

[pascals-doll]

aint ya’ girlfriend!

⋆ ˚ . * · analysis— in which ellie doesn’t know the meaning “commitment”, well she does but chooses to not stay loyal. you’re her roomate and unattainable—or so she thought. venturing into your own dating life causes her to spiral, she aint your girlfriend & neither are you. | WC: 1.5K

₊˚ପ ellie williams x reader | photo cover obvi from Pinterest!

₊˚ପ MEOWW IM BACK !! gotta run it back with some toxic ellie 😇!!

₊˚ପ description: MODERN ROOMATE AU! NO PHYSICAL FEMALE DESCRIPTION! ANGST & SMUT, PORN W PLOT! (lol), toxic!ellie, roomate!ellie, PLAYER! (coded) ellie, JEALOUS!ellie, no use of Y/N, the mention of commitment issues, MUTUAL PINING, blatant flirting, secret crushing, heavy yearning, very small reader x dina, heated arguement, mention of ellie sleeping with multiple women, POWERPLAY, mix of dom!reader & dom!ellie, sub!ellie partly & sub!reader, pent-up sex (😇), teasing, HIGHKEY MAKEUP SEX (👅), possessive!ellie, finger-fucking ( E receiving), face riding (E receiving), 69, praising, pussy eating (both receiving), slight biting (both), slight choking (both), use of pet names ( baby, mama)

90% percent of things in this world are easily accomplished and achieved, being Ellie Williams roommate wasn’t one of them.

Since the day you met through a roommate finder site, after a few phone conversations getting to know each other t’ill the moment you arranged your meeting. Ellie's been enamored, secretly, nonetheless.

You would lie if you said that from the moment; she came to help you move out t’ill now—dealing with sleepless nights because of her lack of sexual resistance—that her consistent affection didn't sway you.

it's been exactly six months since you've moved in with Ellie and you could recount her daily routine like it was your skincare.

You weren't sure, if you genuinely thought Ellie was sure you were dumb or straight-up shameless.

At dark hours of the midnight, you might've been asleep but that didn’t stop her by the agonizing moans that echoed through cheap plywood walls. You groaned as you muffled your entire face and ears with your pillow, praying for them to shut the fuck up or stop.

Three days, twice a week.

Ellie had to have some type of sex problem. You thought to yourself. You're never one to hate someone's game-but living with the player is absolute fucking hell.

Every morning, you’re an early bird as Ellie is not, due to her nightly ventures.

You felt bad for the women who left disheveled, sneaking through the apartment at 7 AM to leave while you step out your bedroom; an empathetic smile shot their way before hurrying into the bathroom.

Your morning routine consists of cleaning yourself up before stepping out to cook early breakfast.

By the time, Ellie awoke and stepped out cockily, "Thank you, beautiful. You didn't have to cook me breakfast." She coaxed happily, pouring her cup of coffee at 12 PM. You sat on the couch reading your book, legs crossed and rested onto your coffee table.

You chuckled, "That shit's cold by now, I made it when tonight's booty-call left." Unphased and focused on your book. You could hear her footsteps begin to lead towards the living room area, closer, and closer to the couch you relaxed on.

You would never admit it. Although, her lack of respect for your peace—doesn't mean she should starve.

She joined you on the couch, empty space right beside. Ellie's presence tensing your muscles for some reason. She somewhat annoyed you but when you got to talk to her, it went so well. You guys actually had so much in common.

It felt serene to connect with her on many levels besides her surface actions, she was a timid person throughout the small cocky remarks. She was a great listener along as a storyteller over everything.

It was truly remarkable the balance she carried, also interesting. Something you couldn't quite wrap your head around still. You were willingly delusional, but it was clearly evident, you soaked in every moment with this person.

You lowered your book while she asked, "Hmph-touchè, you got any plans for today?" Calling your attention. Eyes sulked, the forest she carried within her eyes; it wasn't hard to comprehend why these women want a chance with her.

Ellie’s eyes were impossible not to get lost in, like compulsion. You never held eye contact too long, taking moments to break away, and retain from fluttering to the brown kissed freckles along her face to the shape of her soft lips.

You squint, a small smirk creeping through "Wouldn't you like to know what I'm up too." Your tone teases before going back to reading.

"I know what you been up too," Ellie tries to push further, reaching forward to delicately grasp your legs that rested on the coffee table. Your legs laid into her lap, sprawling across, and hanging off.

Another thing that consists of her routine the most? Spending the rest of the hours, days, and weeks flirting with you.

Ellie loved physical touch—as if she wasn't physical enough. She loved her hands on you.

Watching herself caress the exposed skin of your legs, massaging down t’ill your ankle high-socks. Wether it was platonic or flirtatious, affection was key with you.

Once again, you lower your book to meet her eyes.

Ellie’s hands worked their way down, her fingers pressuring skillfully onto your heel and tingling the palm of your foot. She continues watching you read, "Oh yeah? What am I going to do today?" You question her, disregarding your book.

Sinking herself into the couch, her hands moving up from your legs to your thighs. Softly squeezing on of them, goosebumping your skin.

Ellie smiles confidently, "Cuddle with me and watch movies." Her eyes shimmering. You gaze at the big grin she spoke with, unsure if she was ever genuine.

You sat-up and leaned closer towards her till met face-level, "I'm sorry Els, someone else booked my time for today! I'm sure you will find a way to entertain yourself, hm?" You patted her shoulder with a smile as you got up.

"Wait, What the fuck do you mean?"

"Oh Williams! I've got a date, gotta' get ready."

It was insane, truly.

Ellie thought she was going crazy; she couldn't ever date you.

You're too good for her, representing everything she should want but isn't ready for. She was aware of how clearly toxic and intoxicated she was off, and with you.

No. Fuck no.

Ellie repeated to herself mentally, alongside questioning her existence—had she really been so caught up on trying to get a reaction out of you to see your time focused on someone else? —Yes, she was.

It wasn't as bad as the delusions Ellie's paranoia was creating in her mind. You had hung out with your friends where you happened to meet Dina. She was a mutual friend that you were introduced too.

Ever since then, you've been flattered, and hoped for a dinner date with her. For you, it felt like an escape of emotional dread that came after every touch, sentence, and epithet that left Ellie's lips.

You hated the way you loved how affectionate she was, catching yourself vulnerable every time she touched you. Always dwelling the feeling of her soft warmth that soaked into your own invisible bliss, never allowing yourself to look too pleased; Yet, never pulling away.

Ellie headed down the hallway to your room. She was desperate to get you to stay, creating small and stupid conversation to slow you as she loved hearing her nickname fall from your lips even though she was practically seeping jealousy.

Ellie was her own ticking time-bomb, her patience melting, and mustering “Who's the lucky girl?" She bugged, trying her hardest to conceal that greened tone.

You swirl your chair around, now completely facing her as you couldn’t help your jaw fall agape. You examine her demeanor while speaking up, “I don't ask about your daily rendezvouses." You were quick to quirk back, feeling uncalled for.

Ellie's brows knitted together, "We-well—are you gonna' bring them back? I deserve to know that." She stumbled but spit back.

It was clear, now, you offended her. It was true. You never asked about the women she brought into your shared apartment. The women she brought to make you jealous.

The laugh you let out was priceless, "I don't get a say on who you bring home, why would you?" You called her out.

Ellie stepped closer to your chair. She looked into your mirror, leaving you no choice but to face her as your swirled around, her eyes gandered through your vanity mirror.

Your facial expressions were clearer as she continued to push, "It's different, you know that." She tries to prove.

You wanted peace and relaxation, something Ellie makes a sure mission of that you never fucking receive.

"You can't go out," Ellie began.

"Who's gonna stop me? Are you serious?' You thought she must've been fucking with you; you weren't going to hear another word of it.

"Just get out, get out now." Standing up from you chair, holding it open as she walks out, and slamming the door behind her.

You had left and most of all, you had left Ellie feeling like complete shit.

She couldn't believe you did this, did this to her. It felt like you had shot right through her heart, torturing her with her own distasteful antics, and leaving a sour tang to her soul.

In her mind, she thought you were utterly selfish. She couldn't see past the fact that, you, didn't owe her anything.

Ellie wanted you, beyond pleasure, more than anything. You became insatiable to her.

She didn’t allow herself to soak in tangled feelings she felt for you, knew she had, even if it ate her alive at night. You would come to visit her in her sleep or while she mindlessly fucked some girl—sometimes, even pretending it was you.

You are treasure to her, too valuable to touch, but always curious with growing desperation to obtain and protect.

Ellie's peace was founded in you, a safe place she loves calling home. Unknown to your knowledge and you disrupted it.

As she disrupts your peace by being with anyone, but you.

Ellie finally understood what you meant by those backhanded insults.

She sat there with her hands palmed to her face, fingers running, and scratching through her short soft locks. Messing her own hair up, contemplating on how she could turn such a deep pattern.

This entire time she had been failing and failed to see that.

Out of everything, she thought blowing up your phone was the answer.

When you finally opened your phone, you saw your notification inbox full.

ⓘ Els ❕50+ messages

ⓘ Els ❕50 missed calls

You excused yourself to the restroom at fhe table with Dina, "I'm sorry, is it okay if run to the restroom really quick?" You requested through a thick forced tone and hidden irritation.

Your date had been going amazing. You may not have a lot in common with Dina, but she's a cheerful person who brings a refreshening energy. It was nice being in her presence.

It wasn't enough though.

You found yourself comparing your conversations to the conversations you have with Ellie, who is just your fucking roommate.

Dina was picture perfect, absolutely stunning, and she respected you more than you imagined Ellie ever could. That was the thing; even if talking to Dina tonight was full of laughter.

Everything you wanted wasn't her.

Never able to shake the anticipation of her touches, and the absence of her presence. Which make you crave it. Crave her. She was pure risk and you never wanted her to change.

You had a crush on your roommate, and you were fucked.

You were in the restroom ringing Ellie's phone. Hearing the beat of your heart thumps.

"You better say something good." You wanted to scream out as the line connects. You had every right to be, never once have you blown up her phone.

"Where are you? Let me come get you." She hurried through her words, hearing her surroundings of cars driving with a swish of wind.

You paced around, shocked and even more angry, "Are you out? Where are you?" You throw her own question back at her, whisper-yelling in a stall.

Ellie was so desperate to find where you were out like a girlfriend gone rogue.

"On my way to come get you, now tell me, where." She states blatantly and impatiently.

"You fucking wish! what happened? your hookup ain't text ya' back?" Your tone was laced with pure spite. It was silent for a small moment over the phone.

"Tell me where you are or come home." You could hear the desperation through her roughed-up tone.

Not a word was said. Your mood had been completely killed and you were hanging on by a thread. Repeating herself, “Come home or tell me where you are, please."

For the first time, you heard Ellie beg. She was pleading for you to come home, and you hated to admit it; yet, again.

But it worked.

When you finally saw her, you didn’t bring yourself to look or speak while you walked completely past her.

The silence was piercing the whole way. You could hear a pin drop.

“No side piece tonight?” your tone, only bashful. You were exhausted and enraged.

Ellie's white wife-beater was roughed up and you could smell the stench of marijuana roam off her neck. She looked sullen, her eyes low, bagged, and her jaw seeming clenched; her hair staticy.

You observed her body language, scanning her lean figure. Her sweatpants hung loosely onto her hips as her gaze shifted between you and her own feet.

Huffing, "Just why." you state, disassociating yourself by looking at the ground. It was continued silence for a moment.

"You came back for a reason, though." Ellie finally spoke and it just made everything worse.

"You know what? I did. I came back because I actually care for you. I thought you were in trouble or something, so I thought, hey, maybe I should go back—" You began, your voice shrieking as it raised louder.

"Something you never fucking think to do, too busy fucking to show me an ounce of respect!" You yelled. Weight had been lifted.

It was like screaming a keyword at Ellie, budging from looking at ground to look at you "What are you talking about!?" Ellie's eyes widen, her eyebrows raising as she retorts.

"You don't fucking get it!" you didn't say anything as she raised her hand angrily into the air, then running in through her hair.

"It is so fucking hard trying to resist you." Ellie's eyes were piercing into yours, her steps stalking closer.

"No matter how many women, they are never you. You are all I think about." You could hear her voice grow lower and lower as you froze.

You were at a loss for words, lips parted as you try to focus on your breathing.

"I want you. I need you." Ellie continues, whispering. Feeling her warm breath feather your lips. Ellie closed any space between you both, pulling you into her.

You opened your mouth to speak—only for her to bring a finger up to shush your lips, "I can't stand the thought of you with someone else." Ellie continued, leaning in closer and slowly removing her finger.

So many parts of you wanted to scream rejection, but as you feel her warmth, and her words you’ve dreamed. You could feel your blood rush and heat you up, feeling Ellie's body haze you, your mouth desperate and shaky.

"Kiss me, then." you tut.

Your lips met passionately, an automatic fight for dominance as the pace got hot. The thirst shared was unquenchable.

The personal echoes of each other's kisses smack as your hands got lost in her hair. Your fingers slightly tug onto her loose locks. Ellie's hands greedily rapturing you further into her body—till she couldn't; craving to feel every part of you.

You were lost into the feeling of Ellie's lips, her tongue swiping at your bottom lip as she's desperate to explore more of you.

Your bodies fiend for each other, one of your hands tugging on her muscle tank, and the other lowering from her hair. Ellie's hands roam from your waist, trilling at the feeling of you grazing her neck. She passes your hips till she reached thigh, and hiking it up onto her hip.

Ellie's grasps and grips onto the thick of your thigh, slowly dipping to cup the cheek of your ass. She sneaked a firm squeeze on your ass causing you to shriek, allowing her tongue to explore every crevice of your mouth.

Ellie giggled into the kiss at your muffled moans, amused by how she's effecting you. You push her off slightly, catching your breath. You were both left breathless while she kept eyes on each part of you.

Taking a step closer, reaching your hand out to caress her cheek. Indulged by the freckles painted into her as your thumb brushes her soft cheek. Slowly traveling your hand to her nape before coming around full circle, choking her, and pulling her chest to chest.

You smirk at the way her pupils dilatated. Ellie's mouth was agape, leaning in to lick a teasing swipe along her bottom and top lip. "I'm not your girlfriend." you state.

A soft quick squeeze on her neck causing a weak whine to fall from her lips. Oh, this was better than you imagined.

Ellie gripped your arm, pulling you around and into her chest. Walking you back, you felt your back eventually hit against her door with a hasty thud. Her tongue explored you, intertwining with your own as you sucked softly.

Each grope and wet lick electrified a craving in your stomach, pulsing into your arousal. She struggles with the doorknob, jiggling it open as her other hand held you. Ellie would never admit how soaked you get her.

Your needy grinds contra the pleasure dripping through her briefs as her lips learned every secret love spot within your precious body. You both tumbled onto her bed, not a care in the world besides this fervid momentum shared between you both.

Ellie toppled you, slowly lowering closer. Taking a chance to catch her by suprise, pulling her down with your leg hooked, and flipping her over. Now, you were on top.

Your lips quickly find their way to her clavicle, pecking, and licking alongside her neck. Almost ripping off her wife-beater while leaving open-mouthed kisses onto her shoulder. Continuing kissing down and around her exposed tits.

Your eyes switched watching her face and the way the cool air perked up her nipples. Ellie's back arched as you teased your teeth onto the plush above her tits, right above her sensitive erect nipples. you leave an array of hickeys, enjoying each squirm let out from under you.

This was your sweet revenge, her punishment for every time; she could've been with you, but wasn't.

You didn't stop tricking her with your tongue. Maneuvering down from fondling one of her tits, twiddling your finger around her nipple, and sliding into her loose sweats.

Your hand hasty as you reach the warmth of her panties, middle, and ring finger curve into the soaked patch that leaked through her panty. Thumb pushing up on her clit softly while Ellie turns her head laying head on the bed, watching you tease her; growing embarrassingly wet.

It was primal instinct, playing, and pushing for her weaknesses. You studied every small moan and squirm left form her body. Your fingers continuously circle her clit through her panties. She was quick to spread her legs for you, allowing you access.

Ellie's tits perked and red by your teeth and feverish sucking. You kept finger firm, pressing down onto her covered clit as the fabric of her soppy panty rubbed into her, pulling her panty to the side, coating your two fingers with her slick.

Ellie's chest heaves with a loud moan as her thighs tremble. You watch her struggle to reach up and stop your arm. She was on the border of giving in and still anxious for control.

She grips onto your wrist, slimed finger following down to her vulnerable entrance, toying with her, torturously. You kiss and lick your way back up, meeting her berried lips.

Your middle finger pushes into her, curving upward, and enticing her walls which immediately knocked a desperate strangled moan out of Ellie, throwing her head back.

The sound of her slick swirl and smack within gliding in and out of her whetted pussy brought you a gluttonous satisfaction. Her addictive cries encouraged another finger to join your soaked middle, stretching her out completely. Ellie’s grown in nail tips dug into your incensed flicking wrist.

Ellie on a frenzy of choked whines and unstable string of moans, "Gah-fuck me!".

You admire the work you've sucked onto her body. A fleeced giggle leaves your lips as you plant feathered kisses onto her cheeks, "Already am, baby" You murmured.

The pace you fucked her with was exquisite, your fingertips fluttering against her g-spot as they plunge deeper. Quickening your thrusts with every squelch given by Ellie’s gushed pussy. She held her mouth agape, allowing yourself to dive your tongue in, swallowing her lewd noises.

Ellie clenches around you, her pussy guzzling every inch of your thickened fingers. You could feel and hear her heartbeat pound against your smushed chests, "Ya'like it? like how it feels, honey?" Your question was coy, sliding your fingers fourth, pressing your tips verse her walls.

"Ah! yes, fuck, fuck yes!—I'm gonna'—" Lecherous shrieks fell from her lips as you help ride out her orgasm. Your fingers relentless in her pussy, juicing itself around your fingers; coating your fingers.

"Let it out, Els", You start to praise into her ear, "I know you've been dying too."

Your coo finishes her off with a loud grunt as you pull out your lustered up fingers. Without looking or a second thought, your free hand grabbed Ellie's jaw and attempted to focus her dazed vision to watch you.

Both of your eye's leer into each other as you plop your fingers into your mouth, coming sucking off her cum with a pop.

Ellie's eyes turned dark, her lids hazed, and hooded.

Slowly lifting yourself and shifting your hips below her stomach, Ellie was quick with her movements, flipping you over, and trapped under her. The feeling of her hands running up and down your clothed body, leaning down your ear, “Time, I took all this off…” She weakly whispers as she hovers over you.

Your body was completely sprawled onto her navy-blue sheeted bed with your arms raised above your head, and her knee pushing into your clothed heat. Mimicking your exact position, each sloppy kiss was followed by a piece of clothing being thrown off.

Seconds. How quick it was for you to be in nothing but your panties. Ellie’s kisses were precise and every nonverbal praise by the unconscious grind of your hips and bit-back whines.

She flows herself between your legs, pulling each one onto her shoulders as her lips pecked from your thighs till, she met your damped panty. "You had your fun," She started muttering into you.

"Only fair if I have mine, right mama?" Ellie cocks her head to the side, meeting your eyes before biting your panty-lining and proceeding to hike down your panties with her teeth.

Your eyes peered into her, watching the way she intently focused every part of you. She kissed every beauty mark that was blessed up your body. The feeling of her breath inching closer to your dewed pussy-lips; arching your back in temptation.

You thread your fingers throughout her hair, tugging slightly. You were no longer challenging her, giving complete submission to Ellie.

She watches the way arousal drips from your slit; her hands massaged the goosebumps perking the hairs on you. Ellie couldn't believe she was granted with such a divine privilege, drooling at the thought.

Ellie kitten-licked the delicious nectar that trickled, her tongue dragging flat against your pussy, and licking up your pulpy clit. Indulging in every moment spent between your legs with every keen lick trailed across your heat.

An inflamed jolt seeds through your spine, your entire body to thrash further into the bed as you cry out, "Ah!—Fucking god!" Your pleasure enthralling you to your ankles.

The wet smacking from her saliva coated sucks mixed with your core's elation. A train of vulgar slob laps your pussy while she gets lost in between your furred lips and swallowing you up, “It ain’t god, baby.” Smirking at your sensual vulnerability.

The tone she used was condescendingly sweet. Trembling your legs and jerking your hips which pushed Ellie’s head further into your pussy as the heel of your foot digs into her shoulder, and hands wrestling through her brunette locks.

Your head was thrown back in tempestuous joy, “Mmph! Ellie!—so fucking good!” Ellie’s tongue danced on your clit before making her way towards your soppy entrance.

Pure ecstasy marauded its way up and through your internal, tightening your abdomen. Every strike of her tongue inched closer to cumming all over her. You felt your hips cramp as you try to push Ellie off, backing away desperately.

You struggled, meekly crying out, "F-fuck! stop! stop!" Ellie immediately pulled away with wide eyes. She looked up at you alarmed, "Did I hurt you?!" her tone sincere and worried as she got up, standing above you.

Trying to catch your breath, sweat glistening your naked body. You lean up on your elbows to look at her, "Get on the bed..." your voice was breathless and clear. Ellie walks over slowly, hovering next to you on the empty side of the bed while licking the corners of her lips deviously.

Ellie leans over, her hand threading through your messy hair as she kissed you ferociously. Tasting yourself on her tongue as your own greedily twirled around her mouth. Both of your tongues swirl around each other as your arms find their way around Ellie's body.

You pull away from her lips, "Put your pussy on me." you sulk, regaining your strength.

"Aren't you charming." She jokes out sarcastically and smirking, "Oh, just sit on my face." you huff with a fun grin.

Just like that, Ellie turns around, holding herself up onto your thighs. Your hands run through the back on her thighs till you made your way to her ass, fondling, and squeezing her plush flesh. Mouth’s salivating at each other.

Ellie lets out a gratifying groan as your tongue swipes her sensitive slits, twirling around her hole and thumb circling her clit. Arching herself down onto you more while leveling herself in-between your thighs, leaving sloppy opened kisses on your pussy.

Your stomach bubbles up lewdly, chasing after her swirling tongue within the impatient trial to get her to cum all over your face. The mix of each other's nibbles and starved slurps, propelling bodies together as your legs convulsed and her own thighs shook with inched erotica.

You feel your orgasm coarse and itch closer as Ellie continues to drag between your slits. Starting to move faster, hips grinding against your face. Ellie is soon following close behind, both of you moaning and panting while reaching each other’s simultaneous climax.

A string of choked out moans bouncing off her white walls, “Don-Don’t stop!” you gasp out before closing your mouth around her clit.

Continuous harmony between both of your moans as you both cum all over each other, creaming your faces.

You and Ellie lay in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow. Eyes dozed, sweaty bodies entwined, and sharing a first tender moment of silence.

You lifted your nuzzled head from the crook of her neck, breaking the silence.

“I don't want you to touch anyone besides me.” Voice hoarse and clearer than ever.

“I dont want to ever see anyone besides you.”

A/N: I FEEL BEYOND GRATEFUL FOR REACHING 1k WHILE I WAS GONE 🥹 i thought it was about time i post cus i finally feel like ? confident ? i spent most of my time if it wasn’t personal life duty, id be writing a bunch of self indulgent fictions (THIS WAS ONE OF THEM LOL) and practicing and differentiating my writing style to my liking.

THANK YOU SO MUCH GENUINELY IT MEANS THE WORLD! i cant wait to continue :)

dolls-taglist̗̀➛ @marsworlddd @cosmopolitanaut @elliewilliamsgirl3 @elliewilliamgfooc @graviewaviee @yourelliewillms @elliesgf1244 @deliriousrn @yondaimekazzy @moonyvs4 @tearouthearts @ride4els @colecassidysfav @theoraekenslover @localorphanage @starmoon333

updated taglist link here! (other was corrupted)

[saintkiri]

summary: you felt numb after eren walked through your apartment door. you thought you would never find love again..well..eren wasn’t love. it was everything BUT love. he used you and ended up cheating. you have so many questions that you know you’ll never get the answer to. after a night out drinking with friends..you ended up finding love just outside the door where you watched eren leave.

content warnings: cheating, smut (begging, multiple orgasms, spanking, unprotective sex (wrap it before you tap it!), aftercare) toxic!eren, mentions of therapy, praying to God, anxiety, throw up (?). if i miss anything, lmk :)

wc: 5.6k

author note: …so it’s been 2 years since I’ve actually written and posted something. I meant to post this almost 2 years ago & I promised you guys I would post it & I never did. but, life was crazy and I am still adjusting. Anywhos, don’t expect much from me writing. I am glad to be back even tho I’m not 😭

part one (pls read so this can make sense)

taglist | aot masterlist

When Eren walked past that door, you felt like you lost a piece of you. The last thing he told you made you feel even more stupider than you have ever felt. 

‘The moment I laid my eyes on her, I stopped loving you.’

That sentence kept repeating over and over again. 

You closed the door, and fell. Your back sliding against the door until you were sitting on the ground waiting for the tears to come. But, they never did. You were so numb and shocked, that you couldn’t shed a single tear. 

Your life and emotions relied on him. He made you feel everything you craved. 

It didn’t make sense. He stopped loving you the moment he laid his eyes on someone else. 

What made her so perfect? 

Eren would always made comments saying that you were the girl of his dreams. How could he say all the right things just to cheat? 

You lost track of time, you sat against the door in silence, watching the apartment go from dark to light. You were so numb, you couldn’t sleep. It felt like he drained every emotion out of you with a sentence. All it took was one sentence to change you. 

The memories of you and him kept running pass your thoughts. As you watched time go by, it was as if the ghost of you and him were running through the apartment. It hurt. You remembered all the laughs, all the times where he made your heart feel so warm and full. 

But now, how can your heart go from that feeling over never ending lust to feeling cold and empty?

~~

It’s been about six months since Eren. It’s been hard to say the least. For the first month, you couldn’t even recognize yourself. You couldn’t stop thinking about him all day. It was always either you replaying his last words to you, replaying the argument, or all the times you should have realized he was cheating on you. 

Slowly, you grew. It took you a while to get back up on your feet. It took you a while to get used to a life without him. You never really realized how much you relied on him. Your friends helped you move on and get back to your life. 

You would gradually throw away Eren’s stuff during the first three months. First, it was the pictures and little momentums. You burned and threw out all the polaroids, all the gum wrapper hearts he would make, all the receipts, and every physical memory. It was weird because when you and Eren broke up, you would randomly find those hearts wherever around the apartment. You would keep them in a jar on your dresser, and slowly throughout the relationship, the jar kept getting filled to the point where you needed a new one. After the breakup, when you would find one, you would throw it out. 

Every time you threw one out, a little piece of your heart went with it and you couldn’t explain why. 

The day you finally decided to move on hurt you just as bad as the day Eren and you broke up. You were burning away not only the bad memories but the core memories. The polaroid picture from your first kiss, the rose he got you for your first date, the first movie ticket. Every single physical memory was being turned to ash. Jean and Mikasa helped you light the match and watched everything burn with you. You didn’t cry at first, and you didn’t start crying until they both left. 

You closed the door, thanking them for being there for you..and for pushing you to move on. Although your heart was breaking, you still managed to smile. As soon as the door closed, you were back at the same position you were six months ago. Your back against the door, still somehow wishing that this was just some sick joke. 

Tears were running down your face. You would wipe them just for there to be more. You sobbed in the same position. At this point, it felt like a routine. You would try your hardest to get over Eren, no matter what you would do to get over him, the memories haunt you. 

Slowly, you stopped crying. You don’t know how long you sat there, it could have been minutes or hours. You eventually stood up, then you walked to your kitchen as if nothing happened. The first thing you grabbed was to go to your cabinet to get a glass when suddenly you heard someone talking on the phone outside of your apartment. The voice sounded familiar, it was deep yet somehow smooth. 

You put down the glass and walked back to the door. You then looked out of the peephole to see Jean sitting on the ground across from your apartment. Your eyes widened slightly, wondering why he was there. You opened the door, seeing Jean’s facial expressions. He looked tired, concerned, mad, everything you were feeling right now. 

“Jean?” You say softly, while you were watching Jean slowly get up. He walked towards your door not saying much. But yet, the silence says it all. “H-How long were you sitting there for?” You opened the door some more to let him in. “Just long enough so I know you stopped crying because of him.” Your heart dropped. 

How long has he been doing this? That was the first question that came to mind. You were having mixed emotions right now. How were you supposed to feel? Although your heart felt somewhat warm, you were also feeling untrustworthy. 

Jean walked to your dining table and leaned against it. He then crossed his arms. You walked to your kitchen, "Do you want something to drink?" It was the least you offer, especially since he was sitting outside for who knows how long. "Do you have any alcohol?" He joked, and a small chuckle left your mouth. You grabbed another glass, then walked over to your counter to grab some alcohol.

You opened the bottle, then poured some for you and Jean. You handed Jean his glass, "Why do you wait?" You asked while taking a small sip. Jean stayed quiet, most likely trying to think of an answer. There was this moment of awkward silence. 

Before you and Eren started dating, you and Jean were best friends. You and him have been friends for years, but when Eren came along, your friendship changed. Eren became possessive and toxic. He didn't like how close you were with Jean. So eventually, you stopped talking to Jean. 

But, when you and Eren broke up, Jean came running to be right by your side. Although you and Jean stopped talking, Jean never stopped wanting to protect you, he never stopped watching over you, and never stopped loving you even after seeing you with another man. 

Jean has had feelings for you since he met you. There's always been this little spark between the both of you. Eventually, that spark grew to be something more. He always tried to protect you. He would try to tell you what Eren was doing behind your back but you wouldn't listen to him in fear of Eren seeing you two together. 

"I wait because I'm worried, y/n." 

"Why are you worried, Jean?"

Jean took another sip of his liquid courage and walked towards you. You walked backward until you reached the counter. "Because you were crying over a man who didn't deserve you." Jean softly confessed. Your heart skipped a beat. Slowly, your eyes locked with Jean's hazel eyes. His expression was gentle with a mix of protectiveness..and a mix of love. "Then who deserves me?" You responded, feeling a rush of emotions come over you. 

Your heart started racing as Jean leaned in closer to you. Was it the alcohol? Was it the fact that Jean is right about you getting over Eren? 

Jean's hands were placed on top of the counter, cornering you. His right hand found its way to your hip. His lips inched towards yours, “You deserve someone who takes your breath away every time you look at him. Someone who makes you laugh, smile, feel every emotion that Eren didn’t.” Your eyes lock with his, feeling his breath against your lips. “I-I’t’s you..” You whisperingly confessed. Suddenly, he kissed you with passion, feeling sparks fly. Your noses bumped into each other as little giggles left your mouths. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck. His lips tasting like the alcohol you were just drinking a moment ago. Your lips move with his, for the first time in what felt like months, this was the kiss you've been dreaming of. The kiss that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, the kiss that makes time go by slowly, the kiss that makes all the others seem non-existent. 

You felt Jean's hands pick you up and place you on the counter, "Are you drunk?" You asked as his lips found their way to your neck, gently kissing and leaving hickeys. Jean stopped his movement, as a small smile spread on his face. The smile you missed, the smile you practically dreamt of, the smile that never failed to make you smile. "No." He answered, as he slowly dragged his thumb across your bottom lip, "Are you?" He asked in return, you nodded, not knowing how to respond. 

Jean's free hand moved towards your buttoned pants, "No answer?" He asked with a sly smirk on his face. Your mind went blank. His fingers played with the button as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, "I'm going to ask one last time, y/n. Are you drunk?" You coughed out a response, "N-No. No, I'm not, Jean." A laugh left his mouth. 

"Good, because I don’t want our first time to be while you're drunk." He whispered again. Just like that, his lips were on yours. This time, that once soft kiss was now a kiss full of meaning. You don't know what came over yourself...and right now you weren't thinking about that. You were thinking about how soft his lips were, how his lips were on yours, and how you felt at that moment. 

Jean picked you off the counter, and for a moment, all emotions that you had left for Eren had left your mind and all you can think about was Jean. 

That kiss made you realize one thing. 

It's always been...him. 

It's always been Jean since the first day you laid your eyes on him. You were blinded by Eren. You were blinded by the fact that a very popular guy finally chose you. You were wrong..and now you want to spend the rest of your life making it up to Jean. 

As he walked into your bedroom, your legs were wrapped around Jean's waist. He gently placed you on the bed, his lips finally leaving yours for a split second, "Finally, you're mine." You could cry with pure happiness. It was the happiness you never felt with Eren..but only with him. 

You gave him a small and gentle peck, whispering softly, "Finally." You both smiled as you went back to kissing. His lips never left yours. If they did leave yours, they would end up moving and peppering kisses on your neck, as he slowly ripped away each item of clothing off of your body. 

The tip of his index finger teased the top of your panties. You roll your hips, "J-Jean.." You moaned out softly, hoping he would get the hint. A sly smile grew on his face, chuckling slightly at how much you were begging for him. "God, y/n." He whispers in your ear as his lips move at a slow rate.

His fingers inch more and more towards where you wanted him to touch you most. You were getting impatient, all you wanted was to feel him. You moved your hands when suddenly Jean pinned them above your head. 

The sexual tension was so thick. As much as he wants to fuck you, he wants to take his time. 

Your eyes meet, "Please touch me, Jean." You begged. His eyes read yours, and that's when he lost all control. Fuck taking his time, he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. He moved his hand from pinning yours to taking off your panties. 

It all happened so fast. One moment Jean was taking his time, devouring you inch by inch, finally getting what he's been dreaming of since he realized he had a crush on you. 

Jean moved to the edge of the bed, and in one sudden motion, your thighs were wrapped around his neck. His lips peppered kisses on your inner thighs, moving closer to your aching clit. 

He flatted his tongue and in one lick, he had you melting and moaning his name. That one moan sent him over, he wanted to hear you say it over and over again. This moment will be embedded in his brain for who knows how long. 

Your fingers brush through his brunette locks, highly tugging at the roots, "Fuck, Jean." You moaned out as Jean's tongue circled your clit, making your mind and body melt. You felt his fingers add into the mix, moving slowly, pressing against the spot that makes you lose control. 

He was in between your legs, lewd noises were the sound that was echoing in the room, pleads, begs, screams and moans.

His long, slim fingers thrust into you, making you moan louder and louder. Jean was loving the way your moans sounded. It was like music to his ears. 

Over and over again, you were chanting Jean's name. It was every time he hit that spot, you would scream his name in pleasure. 

Jean replaced his tongue with thumb and admired the view ahead of him, "God, you're so fucking hot, y/n." He said as your eyes met with his. A sly smile spread on his face while watching your reaction to his compliment. Your lip slid between your teeth, trying your hardest to hold back your moans.

He replaced his thumb back with tongue, and your head fell back onto the bed, feeling his tongue explore your cunt again.  Your hands then roamed your body, finding their place over your mouth. You then began to slightly ride his mouth.

A familiar feeling began to stir in your stomach. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your toes curled, feeling his finger movements begin to speed up. 

You were speechless, you couldn't spit out a word, it felt that good. Finally, you spit out the words, "W-Wanna cum, so-so bad." Jean sped up his movements, moving his mouth off of your core, then crawling in between your legs, moving up until you were face to face. 

His fingers didn't stop moving as he kissed you. Your moans were muffled by the kiss. "Cum on my fingers, y/n." He didn’t have to tell you twice. You came on his fingers, and instantly, your legs started shaking. 

Jean got off the bed, and you held yourself up with your elbows, watching him pull down his boxers, and your jaw instantly dropped. His dick was big, probably the biggest one you've seen. He was mesmerized by your reaction to his size. 

Your eyes locked with his as you sat up. You grabbed his arm and immediately pulled him into a kiss, your arms wrapped around his neck, feeling Jean slowly spreading your legs. 

His lips left yours for a split second, "Are you on the pill?" You nodded, "Are you clean?" You asked as his hand inching towards your aching cunt. He nodded, kissing you back in response. 

"Good, now I want you to beg for it, y/n." You smiled slightly because thought he was joking. You wanted him obviously, your body was practically begging for him. The tip of his dick teased your sensitive clit, and a quiet moan left your lips.

You lifted your hips, trying to get more out of him. Your smile disappeared when you realized he wasn't kidding, he was dead serious. You looked into his eyes, and his sparkle was gone. 

"P-Please." you said desperately. Jean raised his eyebrow, "That's all you got? C'mon, y/n. Your body is practically begging for me..." His lips inched towards yours, "But, I want to hear you beg for my cock." His words hit straight to your core. "Please, Jean. Please fuck me. I-I want you so-so much." 

Jean chuckled as he moved the tip of his dick in between your folds, “Where do you want it, princess?” He said as he kept teasing your aching cunt. You buck your hips against the tip of his cock, begging for some sort of friction. You look up and all you see is his desperate eyes on yours. “I want you to fuck me with your cock.” He chuckles, “Good girl.” he praised, and in one swift motion, he finally slid into your cunt. You both moaned. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and the bottom of your lip slid in between your teeth. 

He bottomed out, hitting the spot that made you scream his name. With each thrust, came a moan. "F-Fuck, Jean!" You said as he pounded his cock into you. 

You dug your fingers into his back, slowly moving them up, making sure to leave a mark. Jean inhaled sharply, "So fucking t-tight, y/n." Jean said as he kept bottoming out into you, hitting your g-spot over and over again. 

Jean's lips found their way to yours, the kiss was deep. It was almost like he was trying to devour you as if you were his last meal. Although the kiss was deep, it had a meaning. You were his, you belonged to him. And, you were okay with that. Jean moved his lips from your throat and then moved to his next position. He grabbed your ankles and placed them on his shoulder, hitting your g-spot at a different angle. 

He kissed your ankle as he kept pounding into you. The view in front of you looked so hot. He was hitting all the places that made your mind go blank. “Fuck.” Jean moaned. His moans made you want to exploded right then and there. He moved your legs and by habit you wrap them around this waist. 

“This pussy was made for me, y/n.” Jean expressed in the nook of your neck, peppering kisses, sucking softly. Your fingers raked through his locks, lightly tugging. “J-Jean..harder.” You begged. You wanted him to fuck you like no other could. You wanted him to make you forget about Eren. 

His thrusts slow down making you whimper. Jean flips you on your stomach, “Grab onto the headboard.” He demanded. You wrap your fingers around the cold metal bars, “Please.” You begged. Jean chuckled as you felt his dick slam into you again. You practically scream, feeling the bed shift slightly. Jean’s hands find their place in your hair. His finger wraps around your hair, making a make-shift ponytail, tugging at your roots. You moan feeling his dick hit a new spot from the new position he has you in. 

You suddenly felt a harsh slap on your ass, you wince from he pain..but, you wanted more of it. Sounds of slapping skin fill the room, “Keep milking my cock, y/n.” You clench around his cock with every thrust. 

You could feel your orgasm building up, feeling Jean’s hand leave your hair, then snaking to your clit. “You gonna’ cum, princess?” You nod, not being able to find the words. You felt another harsh slap on your ass, “Words.” He warned. Jean’s movements on your clit made your toes curl, making you moan loudly. 

“Yes, I-I need to cum..so so bad.” You felt his thrust fasten, knowing he was close too. He instantly flips you over again, feeling his lips on yours. You wrap yours around his neck, “Cum for me, princess.” That’s all it took. Your legs started trembling as your orgasm unraveled. Jean emptied his load into you, letting you ride out your orgasm. 

His lips found yours again as he pulled out. This kiss was different. This kiss felt like you were home..with him. 

Jean’s lips left yours as he got up and walked to your bathroom, leaving you absolutely speechless. You couldn’t believe that just happened..but yet, you were so glad it did. You turn your head to see Jean in the bathroom, running a washcloth under some water. 

Eren never did aftercare. He would just fuck you, and leave you hanging. Most of the time, you didn’t even finish..it was always about him finishing, his pleasure before yours, and that’s when your handy vibrator came into your life. Looks like you wouldn’t be needing that anymore with the way Jean just fucked you. 

You thought sex like this belonged in porn.

Jean walked out of the bathroom smiling, “What are you smiling about?” You questioned him as he bends your still trembling legs. He kisses the top of your knees as he cleans your most sensitive area, you wince feeling the washcloth on your clit. 

“You.” It was a simple one word..but, it made your heart melt leaving your very dirty thoughts behind. His fingers find your clit again, as that smile turned into a sly smirk. You moan, “Jean.” You warned softly, as he rubs it slowly.  His fingers slip into your hole, “Just cleaning you out.” He says, as his fingers hit your g-spot. Your hand wraps around his wrist, “Do you want me to stop?” You shaking your head, never wanting him to stop. 

He continues his movements, your legs squeezing together as his long, slim fingers continue to pump into you. You could feel your orgasm bubbling up. “Let go for me, princess.” And that’s all it took for your third orgasm to unravel, leaving you in a moaning mess. 

His fingers left your cunt as his eyes locks with yours. He licks his fingers cleaning, “Now, I’m actually going to clean you up.” A giggle leaves your mouth as you feel the washcloth sliding over your skin again. You could get used to this. 

You started thinking about life with Jean. “So, now what happens?” You ask out of curiosity. You were absolutely terrified of losing him. You didn’t know what was going to happen. Were you guys going to pretend this didn’t happen? Were you guys going to start a life together? Were you guys going to stay as friends? You had so many questions that were fueling your anxiety. 

He stops his movements, looking at you, “I said that I was never going to let you go, y/n. You’re mine.” Tears start to form in your eyes, “Losing you to Eren was my biggest mistake, I should have never let you go..I felt like I hurt you. If I would have kept pushing you, and telling you everything he was doing behind your back, I thought I would have lost you permanently.” He stands up and walks across the room, throwing the used washcloth into the hamper. Then walking towards the bed, laying next to you. He places his hand on your cheek, “I will never ever let you go..And I mean it. I will spend all this lifetime and the next proving it to you.”

As a tear escapes your eye, Jean’s thumb catches it, “Why are you crying?” And suddenly, there were more tears..too many tears for his thumb to catch. You roll over, placing your head on his chest. “I’m sorry.” You say in the midst of a broken sob, Jean doesn’t say anything, he just caresses your head and lets you cry. 

You wrap your arm around his chest, hugging him so tight, as if he was going to leave went you woke up. All this time, Jean waited for you. For all the years that you were with Eren, Jean was there waiting to help you when he left. 

The day that Eren left the apartment, you called Jean, and he ran to your apartment. You didn’t know who else to call, you wanted the one person who knew how to comfort you, your best friend. Jean helped you through all the stages of your break up. He was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there when you couldn’t find yourself. And now, here he was yet again, being the shoulder you cried on. 

“It should have been you, Jean.” You said through the soft sobs, “It shouldn’t have been Eren, I should have never been with him..it was supposed to be you.” Jean kissed the top of your head, comforting you. 

Jean kisses the top of your head, as you looked up at him, “Now we can make up for lost time.” His lips inched towards yours, “Starting now.” His lips connected with yours. 

This is what loves feels like..and it’s how it should have been from he start. 

Jean is your forever.

Jean is the missing piece to your broken puzzle.

Jean is the person you prayed to God for everyday instead of Eren. 

Jean is your other half. 

____

2 YEARS LATER:

“Here’s to your last day being engaged!!” Mikasa exclaimed as she jumps into your arms. You were out for brunch with all your girlfriends, celebrating your last day being an engaged woman. You never thought this day would come. 

Jean ended up proposing a year ago..and it was so romantic. You both knew you wanted to get married. Jean wanted it to be a surprise though. He had taken you to a romantic restaurant..which would have been very cliche of him. You and him would always joke about the cliches. He knew you wanted everything but the cliches. 

He ended up getting on one knee when you least expected it. He wanted to catch you off guard. You and him were going house hunting when he proposed. You guys were looking at a house and the moment you step foot into it, you saw your life with Jean flash before your eyes. Every corner you turned, you could imagine kids running around. When you went into the kitchen, you saw family dinners..just the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. 

It was when you guys walked into the backyard when you looked Jean in the eyes and told him exactly how you felt. That was your forever home, the place where you wanted to grow old and gray with Jean, the place where you wanted to start a family..that was where your future was. You turned around for a split second and when you turn back to face Jean, he proposed. 

You didn’t even let him finish talking. You knew you wanted to marry Jean for years. Even before Eren. 

Even after a year of him proposing to you, you still think about every single word Jean said. He said the same exact thing you were thinking while walking through the house. His dream was your dream. 

The wedding was around the corner and you couldn’t wait. It was going to be a small wedding. You and Jean just wanted something simple. You both agreed that the memories were more important than the big wedding. 

As you, Mikasa, and the rest of your friends leave after drinking one too many mimosas, you accidentally bump into someone. You instantly apologize, looking up to see the man who broke you in ways you thought couldn’t be fixed. This was the actual time you bumped into him. “Y/N?” Hearing your name leave his lips sounded like poison. It’s the one voice that still haunts you. 

You started to feel sick, feeling bile rising up your throat. His eyes inched towards your taken hand. You couldn’t find words. There were so many things you wanted to say..but, it wasn’t worth your time. Jean helped you move on, he put you back together when you couldn’t find the pieces. Eren took a piece of you that you were still trying to find..even after all these years. You slowly back away, calling out his name once. 

You walk past him linking your arm with Mikasa’s, “I’m sorry.” The two words stop your movement, you turn around for a split second, feeling Mikasa giving you and encouraging squeeze. “You’re not sorry, Eren. You never were..you ruined me. Y-You used me, cheated on me, fucking tore my heart into pieces.” You walked closer to him, “You don’t get to apologize, you piece of lowlife scum, I hope you rot.” 

Before he could say another word, you turned away linking your arm with Mikasa’s. You feel good. A smile spread on your face, “You feel good, y/n?” You nod, feeling a sense of relief fuel your veins. 

You never really got closure and that was something you struggled with for the longest. You still don’t understand why he cheated on you. The countless therapy sessions helped for a short period of time. But, this is your closure. You said what you said, and you feel good. This is what you needed to open the next chapter of your life. 

As you walk into your stunning house, you were immediately greet by the newest addition to your family, Remi. She’s a french bulldog you and Jean adopted when you moved into the house. She lights up your world. You and Jean are so grateful for her. After greeting your pup, you were greeted by your fiancee. 

You give him a soft kiss, feeling his hands on your waist, instantly feeling like you’re home. “How was brunch?” A smile spread on your face as you take off your coat, “It was a lot of fun! I wish you were there though.” You said as you were taking off your heels. 

“Yeah, I wish I went too. Connie is having a late dinner later to have a pre-celebration for tomorrow.” You roll your eyes with a smile, “Make sure you don’t drink too much, Jean.” A chuckle leaves his throat, giving you another kiss on the cheek. 

As you both walk towards the kitchen, you were thinking about how to tell Jean about your interaction with Eren. 

He opens the cabinet when you broke silence, “I bumped into Eren.” 

Jean turns around, placing both of his hands on the counter, “What happened? Did he do anything?” You shake your head, as a small smile spread on your face, “I got closure, Jean. I feel good.” You went onto telling him what you said and you both ended up laughing. You don’t have a mean bone in your body. So, telling him what you said made the both of you laugh. 

“I’m proud of you, y/n.” The four words made tears run down your cheek. Yet again, even after all these years, Jean is there to catch every single tear. “I’m glad you finally got the closure you’ve been searching for.” You wrap your arms around his waist, “Me too. I feel like I can let go of that chapter of my life.” 

Tomorrow was the start of a new chapter. 

Although you know your next chapter won’t be picture perfect, you were okay with that. As long as you had Jean on your side, you knew that it would be your version of picture perfect. And, that’s all you needed. 

__

As you’re walking down the isle, you think about everything you (and Jean) have been through to get to this moment. 

In a sense, you were grateful that everything happened, because it led you here, marrying your best friend, and you couldn’t imagine life go any other way. Jean has taught you that love is real, you just have to find the right person. Life has a funny way of showing love, it’s like a road to describe it the least. 

Life and love are both bumpy roads, there’s all these bumps, cracks, unexpected turns, things that get in your way. But, once you get past that, the road is smooth and clear. 

Today, you’re marrying your soulmate, your other half, your best friend, & you couldn’t wait to finally be Mrs. Kirstein. 

Jean didn’t lie when he said you were his. Since that day, he never left your side. He was there for everything. Every doubt, every cry, everywhere you least expected him to be. 

The six words you’ve been waiting for years for finally approached, “You may now kiss the bride.” Jean kissed you like your life depended on it..just like the first time he kissed you. The kiss that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, the kiss that makes time go by slowly, the kiss that makes all the others seem non-existent. 

“I told you, you were always mine, y/n.” He whispered against your lips. A bright smile spread on your face. It was just you and him. You zoned out the crowd, as if time was going in slow motion. You stare into his eyes and see your future. You place your thumb under his eyes, collecting the tears that he’s always done for you. 

Inching your lips towards his, feeling the same emotions as his. You whisper, “Forever and always yours.”

The end. 

🏷️: @betterwinter @moonlight445sblog @linglingisyutabiased @takspv @imaninfjbiherself @levisstainedunderwear @cafesho @Unicornlover25 @mocha-focha @Mochaxfocha @szna @yeagerfushiguro @twiixiies @haitanihime @Crazytyphoon @the-sun-baby

Finishing note: thank you so much for all the love in broken promises! It’s been two years since I posted it and it’s still one of my favorites. I am very happy with how it ended. There were some bits and pieces in here that I took from my actual life. Remi is true!! She’s my baby🫶🏻..plus some breakup scenes were from my breakup😭. Anywhos, I hope to be able to get back into writing soon :)

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

party foul

pairing: ethan landry x female!reader

WC: 4K

warnings: cursing, sexual implications and poorly written intimacy (im so touch starved) mentions of guys being gross. should be all

summary: a frat party leds to more

A/N: something just possessed me cause i wrote this in one day, so if it sucks that explains everything.

@alecmores my editor💗

been in the drafts since march 14

masterlist

The music was bumping, the floors and the walls of the frat house shaking from the booming bass of the speakers playing party music. Everyone was talking or dancing in the crowded space, a red solo cup of whatever drink in hand or a Jell-O shot container being thrown to the ground. Couples were making out in dark corners, hands shamelessly running up their partner's costume and groping them or kissing their necks enough for hickeys to show later tomorrow.

You leaned against a door frame, red solo couple of jungle juice in hand. It was gross but was getting you wasted so that's all you cared about. Your head just bopping to the voices of Ke$ha or Megan Thee Stallion, your free arm wrapped over your stomach to cover the exposed skin as you just watched people in their drunken haze.

Your roommates decided to, and you quote, “get you out of your comfort zone and wear something slutty. Maybe you’ll get laid tonight.” So here you were at a frat party you didn’t really want to be at, with your ‘friends’ who disappeared a minute after arriving, dressed in a skimpy fairy outfit that was just lingerie with wings and nice makeup and braids added to your hair. You felt hot in the comfort of your college apartment, but the second you stepped outside it was like you were thrown to the wolves as prey.

So since your roommates ditched you, probably laughing about you or that’s just your paranoia thinking, you decided to scout the house and see if you can find your actual group of friends. They did say they were coming later tonight and to find them if you were free and you’ve been free for the past two and a half hours. With a push off the door frame, you bumped and scooted past jumpy dancers and touchy couples, trying and praying you’ll find someone to save you from your misery.

You made a pass of the room to the right of the front door and with no one you knew, you went to the room across and the sight of two people made you sigh out of relief. You couldn’t see one of the boys clearly but you were able to make out Chad since he was shirtless and wearing a cowboy hat. You walked over to the two and stood in front of them just as they took what looked to be a Jell-O shot, well only Chad swallowed, and Ethan spits it out right away with a grimace on his face. You couldn’t help but laugh at the action.

“Well, hello, sexy,” Chad yelled over the music. You knew he was being friendly, but the compliment made you feel warm.

You replied with a push to his bicep, “I’m not the only one showing skin tonight… cowboy.” A quick flick to the brim of his straw hat. Chad swatted your hand away before doing that signature cowboy stance, one hand on his belt and the other tipping his hat. You rolled your eyes at the action before turning on Ethan who stood with his back to the wall and his eyes wide with his mouth hanging open.

You’ve liked Ethan for a few months, so his gaping expression kinda sparked a bit of confidence in your chest if he was looking at you like that. You took a step closer to him and with your right hand snapped his jaw shut, “don’t wanna catch flies, handsome.” You stared deep into his eyes before a glance at his lips as he licked them with his tongue. “What’s your costume anyway? Very put together with just cardboard and tape though.” You waved your hand around at his ensemble.

“Oh!,” he looked down then back up, “it’s from a movie called Murder Party. Plus, I don’t have money to spend on an actual costume.” He bit his bottom lip and eyes darted from you to around the room, nervous.

“No, no. It’s cool though. I just haven’t seen the movie before,” you reassured him, “I didn’t even plan to do anything tonight, but my roommate, Anna, told me yesterday that I should do it then took me shopping with her. And that’s how I ended up in lingerie and spandex shorts for the night. Oh! And these wings, where the straps are digging into my armpits.” You moved the left strap at the end of your statement. Ethan just smiled and pulled his helmet off and fluffed his flat curls.

“So… enjoying the party?” Ethan leaned in close to your ear. His breath ghosting your skin caused a shudder and eyes to flutter shut. “Ye-yeah. Oh, yeah, really… I enjoy being eyed like a piece of meat.” Sarcastic but a hint of annoyance shone through.

You pulled and scratched your fingers as you looked around the room your trio was in, a group of girls in different costumes held cups and grooved to whatever new song shuffled on the playlist. Unconsciously, you stepped closer to Ethan, seeking safety from your crush.

“So, Chad,” you leaned towards him, his head turning your way, “have you struck out for the night? Or still looking at your options?” You jerked your chin over his shoulder where Tara wandered just out of sight, her wobbling state getting worse.

Chad sighed through his nose and rolled his neck, “it’s not like that.” You purse your lips and nodded, “yeah, yeah. Totally not like that. It’s just… it’s just getting kinda obvious.” Chad raised his brows and looked to Ethan then back to you, your smile slipping from your face. “Oh, totally obvious. Just like how you are wishing for e-” you smacked a hand over his blabber mouth and nervously giggled.

‘The Way I Are’ started blasting through the speakers and you took that as your opportunity to slip away from Chad and have Ethan’s attention. You moved away from Chad with a warning in your eyes and moved back closer to Ethan, your chest pressing against his cardboard. “You wanna dance? I love this song!” Hands-on his shoulders and lips ghosting the shell of his ear.

You saw the nod he gave as his answer, so you pulled away from his body and slid a hand into his, your fingers interlocked as you pulled him away from the wall and Chad, and led him to the crowded dance floor. He left his helmet behind so you got to see his face clearly and watched as his head of curls bounced as he moved around, stiffly, but was moving to the beat at least. With more people joining the floor and worried that you’ll lose Ethan, that was all, you took his hands and set them on your waist. It felt like those three-and-a-half cups of whatever was really making you feel a sudden boost of confidence, you felt sexy in your costume and you were dancing with the boy you’ve been wanting to kiss for the past four months, and also you made the move to have him closer and touch you. It was like everyone else was shut out as you looked into Ethan’s eyes, it was just the both of you holding each other, your heart beating loud in your ears. His hands tightened on your flesh, the smooth fabric of your top forming wrinkles, as he pulled you closer to him. Your arms moving to his shoulders as you push up your tiptoes to close the slight height difference.

One of your hands slowly moved from his shoulder and very hesitantly trying to see if he was showing discomfort, you let your fingers glide along his jawline. His lips parted and you took that as a good sign, so with your last bit of liquid courage, you leaned in with your eyes slipping shut just waiting to feel Ethan’s meld with yours.

But the moment was ruined by pushing and shoving. You groaned in your throat and opened your eyes to see a guilty-looking Chad holding his varsity jacket and Ethan’s helmet. He pushed the cardboard into the boy’s shoulder and looked at you, “Tara’s drunk.”

You quirked a brow at him, “and? It’s a party. What’s the pro-” “Some guy is trying to take her upstairs.” Chad interrupted your sentence. You instantly took off looking for your friend, making the boys follow behind like bodyguards with their height. You saw Mindy and Anika at the bottom of the stairs and you walked beside them to see Tara with a random frat body dressed in a button-down and boxers. His hand was wrapped along her bicep and you could see the thoughts swirling behind his darkened eyes.

“Tara, why don’t we get you home, huh? You could use some sleep.” You went up a step with a hand out hoping she would take it and join you. But she just looked at you and then at the guy, it broke your heart that she would rather be with someone she didn’t know than her friends.

“You wanna come up for a drink too, hot stuff?” The guy spoke up with his eyes glued on your body, mostly your chest and you felt yourself shrink in, but stood your ground, “fuck off. How about you take your hand off my friend and leave us be, yeah?” You heard the waiver but the music covered your nerves.

He rolled his eyes at you, “don’t gotta be such a bitch. Just thought you would want to enjoy a good time with me and your friend.” And he took a sip from his cup.

Now you are fed up. You ripped his hand away from Tara and smacked him across the face. You heard faint gasps but ignored them as you walked behind Tara and back to your friends, but you got pulled back with a harsh force causing you to slip and fall on the steps.

The next few things happened too fast. Chad yanked the guy by his shirt off the stairs and pushed the douchebag in the chest and the two started shoving, Ethan walked over and wrapped his arms around your waist, and pulled you close to him as Mindy and Anika shouted at Chad. And then to top it off, Sam showed up out of nowhere and tased the guy in the balls.

-

Your little group left the frat after the disaster. Mindy and Anika were near the back with their hands linked, Anika now wearing Ethan’s helmet as he wore her orange bucket hat, cute. You, Chad, and Ethan walked in front of them and Sam was chasing after Tara who wasn’t the happiest with her sister.

“So, you're stalking me now, is that it?” She spun on her heal and faced Sam. Her arms lay limply at her sides as she wore an annoyed expression. Sam stopped just a foot away and was trying to get Tara to understand.

You turned away from the scene knowing you weren’t involved with the sisterly bickering. You turned to Ethan who was already looking at you, he seemed to have a worried air about him. You looked to the happy couple in the back and saw Chad chatting with them, their eyes flicking your way before they saw you looking already. You breathed a laugh with a roll of your eyes, of course, Chad was gossiping about earlier.

“Hey,” Ethan’s gentle voice said, “are- are you okay? You didn't get hurt on the stairs? No- no bruising or anything?” He stood close.

You pushed a braid behind your ear, “uh, just- I just think my ass is sore. But no- no the idiot didn’t hurt me, just made me uncomfortable. But hey! I’m just glad to be out of there, and with friends, would have sucked walking home alone.” You rubbed your arms along your biceps to try and build some warmth into your body to keep the cool night air at bay.

“I can- I can help if you want… keep you warm.” The stuttering of his words caused stuttering in your heart. “Please, that would be a help.” He opened his arms and you stepped into them, arms and hands over your shoulder and touching your back as you wrapped your own over the chest plate and squeezed him tight, with your face hidden away.

The moment was once again ruined too soon as you started to hear yelling. You pulled away and saw Chad and Anika holding Sam back from a group of passing girls who were recording and shouting, “Murderer! We know what you did!”

You loosened your hold on Ethan and looked their way, “Fuck you!” You started to head their way but Ethan kept you close to his chest. His hands on your arms.

Something strong was in that jungle juice. You needed a walk or something to sober up. You feared the possible headache to come tomorrow morning.

The both of you walked to Sam who looked down at her soaked white sweater, along with a few sticky black strands near her face, “assholes,” she muttered as she wrung out her shirt. Tara rolled her eyes and started to walk away, Chad following then Mindy and Anika just behind. Ethan patted his pockets down before digging out tissues.

“I have some tissues… I only have like three tissues,” he handed the squares over to Sam who just looked at the boy and then at you. You bid Sam a good night and pulled the boy along with you in the direction of the college apartments.

“Ah, shit!”  You exclaimed as you patted yourself down, not finding what you were searching for.

“What?”

“I don’t have the key to my place and I think my phone is dead at this point. They're probably still at the party…” you trailed off into thought, trying to determine your next move.

“You could… you could stay with me. Only if you want… I would just feel better if- if I knew you were okay and safe.” He pulled at his ear. You watched the boy and how could you say no when this was the first time things were going your way?

“I would love to stay with you, only if you’re okay with it.” You stepped closer. His eyes flicked over your face and a smile peeked through, “I’m- I’m perfectly okay with it.” You nodded with a smile and the both of you headed off into the cool night air, small conversation to past the time.

-

When Ethan opened the door to his and Chad’s dorm you expected the stereotypical college boy rooms from movies. Clothes scattered on the floor, and trash overflowing, maybe even a bong in a hidden corner from the RAs. There were two nicely made beds with each side having its organized desk with textbooks and notebooks, a backpack at the foot of one bed, and one hanging off the back of the uncomfortable chairs. You couldn’t exactly tell which side was which but you went on instinct and chose the one with the backpack on the floor.

You bent down to untie your sneakers and slip them under the twin bed then followed with your cheap wings causing a sigh of relief. Now the rest of your outfit was a problem, you couldn't remove your makeup and properly clean your face and you lost your hair tie somewhere in the last few hours. Technically you could sleep in your outfit, but this isn’t the time for sexiness.

“Ethan, could I borrow a shirt or hoodie?” Your elbows leaned into the hard mattress behind you as you twisted to face a motionless Ethan that just stared at you. “Ethan? You okay?”

He blinked rapidly, “yeah, yeah! Sorry just… just- I’ve never had a girl in my room, not to mention a pretty girl.” He looked shocked that he just said those words aloud, “uh sorry, what did you say… earlier?”

You bit your lip to stop the smile and pulled your earlob, “A shirt or hoodie… I don’t really wanna sleep in-” you pointed a finger at your sheer top. “Right! Yeah, just- just one second.” He turned his back to you.

You let the flush in your cheeks grow and couldn’t withhold the gigantic smile, completely infatuated with the nervous boy before you. You gazed as he rummaged through his clothes and muttered words to himself that you couldn’t hear but just watched as his lips moved. When he stood back to his full height something in you stirred and you wanted to follow that feeling.

Ethan placed the folded shirt beside you on the bed and stood in front of you, his head tilted down and yours pointed up. Your eyes just watched each other, taking in every detail about each other tonight, watching Ethan’s body language to see if there was an opening for you. Ethan took a step forward, just a step away from letting his body fold into yours.

You saw how he slowly brought his right hand up, it seemed he was debating if he wanted to make this move or not, but when he cupped your cheek your lips parted. His thumb swiped the skin just under your eye before letting his hand slip down, his pinky hitting the junction of your jaw and earlobe. His eyes dipped to your lips and then he brushed the pad of his thumb just over your bottom lip, barely giving the skin a tug before resting the digit on your chin.

“Ethan?” You whispered his name so quietly it was like you didn’t say it, but you saw his eyes move. “Please,” a whimper as you closed your eyes and gripped his biceps. You couldn’t wait much longer and he didn’t make a move. So you’ll take the jump for the both of you, but you didn’t have to. He took the final leap.

It was soft, gentle. Just a pressing of lips, nothing more at first, and you were fine with it, it was still perfect to you. His hand on your cheek and your hold on his muscles kept you from floating to cloud nine. Ethan pulled away and you chased his lips, needing to deepen it, pour all your love and wanting into his skin. You pulled him back to you, tilting your head to get a better angle and more movement from your lips. He held your waist, hands under the thin fabric, and his burning touch warmed your cooled skin as he rubbed his thumb on your flesh.

Then his hands slipped down and under your thighs, and you jumped automatically and he sat you atop the light blue bedding. You widened your legs and grabbed his shirt with one hand to pull him closer in your gravity. With the new height you started to kiss around his mouth then jaw and down his neck, beginning to leave sensual kisses that were followed by sucking and maybe a faint bite pulling a groan from Ethan. You soothed over any markings with your tongue and a peck. You did it a few more times before he pulled your face back to his and he dived back in.

When Ethan started to kiss along your jaw and near your ear, you moaned at the sensation, hands tangling in his curls and nails scraping his scalp and he hummed at the feeling, it tickled your skin.

“E- Ethan, do- do you wanna- wanna go all the way or- or wait?” Ethan implied this was his first time doing anything, you wanted to do it on his terms and how he was feeling about this. “I’m completely fine w- with just making out an- and sleeping.” You weren’t even sure why you brought up sex. Maybe the leftover drunken-haze was making you a bit horny.

One more kiss to your jawline and his face reappeared. He was flushed and his lips were glossy, it was a delicious sight to behold. You giggled as you swiped a smear of saliva away from his mouth. You just waited to hear his thoughts, legs mindlessly swinging over the high bed. Fingers twisted in the hem of his shirt from earlier in the night, knuckles ghosting over his exposed skin.

“I… I- ah. I- I wanna do it. Sex- I wanna have sex with you.” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, his wording almost like a middle schooler. You smiled around your tongue as it poked out. “Ethan,” you pulled his chin between your thumb and index finger, “if you are not one hundred percent sure about having sex tonight, we don’t need to. I’ve waited for you for months, I could wait a little longer for some intimate action.” You wiggled your brows to let Ethan loosen up. His brightened smile that showed his dimple made you fall faster. “Besides, I don’t think I would last very long before passing out.”

You gave a simple smooch to his nose then grabbed his shirt, “turn around. Only when we have sex can you see all this whenever.” “Really?” He didn’t bother hiding the tiny bit of disappointment in his word, but you just snorted at his puppy dog eyes, “no. I was just giving you the chance to be a proper gentleman before a lady, but whatever. You’ll see everything eventually.” You pulled the top off and Ethan’s eyes widened before he covered with his hands and turned around.

-

You tried shuffling around in bed to get back to a comfortable spot, but arms held tight along your torso kept you pulled into a solid chest. You started to panic until you looked over your shoulder and saw a head of brunette curls with the suspect's face buried into your neck. A lazy smile came across your features as you closed your eyes again and rested a palm over Ethan’s forearms, fingers moving back and forth slowly. The feeling of his chest moving as he breathed could have lulled you back to sleep if you didn’t feel the puff of air hitting your neck and hear the bedding move as he shifted around.

You managed to turn in his hold so you were facing him with your back leaning against the wall. Very gentlemanly of him sleeping near the edge, a simple green flag in your eyes. You pushed a few rouge curls away from his forehead, fingers leaving a small trail of phantom kisses in their morning wake before dropping to his chest. You watched as his lashes fluttered atop his cheekbones, how he had a few sparse freckles dotting his face here and there, noting that his lips are slightly parted when in deep sleep.

He looked so beautiful.

He moved his face to the crook of your neck, his nose giving a small rub. You sunk a hand into his hair and began messaging, he instantly groaned at the action. “Good morning,” a kiss to his temple. A kiss to your jaw, “good morning,” and his morning voice was oh so deep and gravelly.

“I should… I should probably head back to my place. Need a shower.” You patted his arms. He just groaned and moved his legs into yours.

“Could shower here.” “I need a shower shower, with all my stuff. Not a water shower most boys do… you do shower shower, right? Please say yes because you do and not just for me.”

Ethan laughed at your question, “yes, yes. I shower shower, I have good hygiene.”

“Okay. With that out of the way, I really should head back.” You tried sitting up but Ethan’s arms were holding you down and you just laughed at his antics. “Ethan come on. Don’t you want me to smell good? After last night I probably reck of sweat and alcohol.”

“No, you smell nice. Really nice.” And he did a big theatrical inhale as you laughed at the sound. “Okay weirdo, you’ve got me for another hour.” And you got yourself situated again.

After fifteen minutes of quiet, your eyes started to droop and you let yourself be pulled back to sleep, but before you could be submerged, the door banged open, and Chad waltzed in before stumbling to a stop. You jerked your head up, Ethan almost fell over the edge at the interruption, and you scrambled for a firm hold on him. The both of you just stared at Chad and then at Mindy who was staring down at her phone.

“I haven’t been able to reach-” “It’s because she’s right here. In bed. With Ethan.”

Both twins had bug eyes and open mouths pointed at the two of you. Ethan leaned over you a bit to shield you even though you were wearing his shirt and your shorts from last night, and the blanket was still covering you. You held his bicep as you rested your chin on his shoulder.

“What brings the Wonder Twins around?” You waited to hear something sarcastic or just the both of them being jokingly mean towards you and Ethan, but both had somber faces. You sat up higher, heart racing as they took longer and shared a look.

“Ghost face,” was all Mindy said.

...

[starchaserdreams]

Hiking (Jegulus One Shot)

Regulus hated hiking. He hated it with every fibre of his being. But Barty had begged him, and called in the favor that Regulus had owed him for months. Since he was willing to give that up, to no longer have it looming over Regulus ominously, Regulus had to say yes.

But even knowing that this was a favor, he still hated it. He did not like nature or the outdoors. He hated bugs and heat. He hated that the path was muddy and his shoes were wet. He hated that his hair was sweaty and probably a mess. Hiking was a miserable experience in every way.

Except, well, the views weren't too bad on this hike. Namely, the guy around their age who was solo hiking. He was just ahead of them on the trail, so they'd run into each other at a number of overlooks and waterfalls. He'd leave to head to the next one, and they'd see him again when they arrived there.

"He's kinda fine," Barty said after the first time they saw him.

The guy had just left. He was a little sweaty from the hike, and his maroon shirt had been clinging to his chest. It had been impossible not to notice that he had a nice body. His hair had been a little wild, sticking up at all angles, but it was an endearing look.

"Shut up, you don't even like men," Regulus said under his breath, praying Barty didn't raise his voice enough for it to carry.

"No," Barty agreed, "but you do." 

Barty didn't push it any more than that. They took in the views and then moved on.

When they arrived at the next stopping point, a very tall waterfall, Barty struck up a conversation. Regulus was ready to murder him.

"It's beautiful, right?" Barty asked.

Regulus hadn't even noticed him approaching the other guy. He'd been closer to the water than they were so when he heard Barty's voice and turned to face him, he saw that they were both staring in his direction.

"Sure is," the guy agreed.

He grinned at Regulus. Regulus walked over to them just to make sure he could run interference if Barty said anything regrettable.

"I'm James," the guy - James - said. He held out a hand to Barty, who shook.

"I'm Barty," Barty said cheerfully.

"And you?" James asked, running back to Regulus.

"Regulus," Regulus replied. He shook James' hand. It was a firm, confident handshake. Everything about James exuded confidence.

"Nice to meet you Barty and Regulus," James said. "I'm on my way to the next one, maybe I'll see you there." 

He actually winked, before heading back to the trail.

"He is exactly your type," Barty mused once he was out of earshot.

Regulus slapped a hand across his own face.

"How on Earth could you know that," he asked, "when you have never known anyone I've dated?"

Barty shook his head, grinning as he did so.

"Your face says it all, mate."

They made their way to the next waterfall, where sure enough James was already sitting, taking it in.

This time, when James approached them, Barty conveniently made his way over to a rock formation before he could strike up a conversation.

"Big fan of hiking?" James asked, "have you done this one before?"

Regulus snorted.

"No. Absolutely not. I would never choose to hike on purpose."

"But you're here," James observed, "what convinced you this time?" 

Regulus pointed at Barty.

"He wanted me to come. Didn't really give me much choice in the matter."

"Oh," James said, sounding rather sad. "I'm sorry you didn't get to do what you wanted."

His eyes were on the waterfall in front of them. Regulus suddenly felt bad. He didn't mean to disrespect what was obviously James' hobby. 

"It's alright," Regulus lied. He searched for something positive to say. "The waterfall is pretty."

James grinned widely at him. It was one of those overly bright smiles that Regulus usually hated, the kind of thing that could light up a room all by itself. He usually thought it looked performative and over the top, but this, this was a work of art. 

Barty was right. This was exactly his type.

They chatted for a few more minutes about the waterfall before James went on his way again.

"That looked cozy," was the first thing Barty said when he was gone.

Regulus' eyes narrowed. 

"And whose fault is that? You're the one who walked away!"

Barty nodded sagely. 

"Yes, I did great, didn't I?"

Their next stop worked much the same way. James chatted with Regulus for a bit while Barty looked around, before James made his way up the trail again. 

It wasn't until they reached the waterfall that the hike had been named for, the biggest attraction, that Barty made his move. 

"Well, I think that's it for me for today," he said, just before they made the turn off for the waterfall. "I'm going to apparate back home. You should stay though." He grinned slyly. "Wouldn't want to miss the chance to say goodbye to James."

"Barty!" Regulus hissed. His eyes found the pathway to the waterfall. Barty was right that he didn't want to leave yet. "You can't just apparate home, he might be a muggle! Muggles can't just disappear on a trail!"

Barty shrugged, entirely unbothered. 

"Just tell him I went ahead, I'm sure he won't mind."

He gave a cheeky salute, and before Regulus could argue, he was gone with a little popping sound. 

Regulus was really going to kill him this time. 

Still, he made his way towards the waterfall. He couldn't miss it.

As expected, James was sitting waiting for him. He grinned when he saw Regulus, then faltered. 

"Where's your boyfriend?" he asked. 

Regulus' eyes widened. 

"He's not my boyfriend," he blurted out unceremoniously, "just a friend."

"Oh!" James said, sounding pleased. "I thought he was your boyfriend, and I was mad on your behalf that he ignored you every stop."

Regulus shook his head. For the first time, he took his eyes off James and took in the scenery. This waterfall was at least twice as tall as the other ones they'd seen. It was actually very impressive, not that he would have admitted it to Barty. He'd never seen anything quite this majestic before. The rushing of the water was powerful, and when it splashed into the pool below, the water droplets sparkled in the sunlight.

"He is definitely not my boyfriend," Regulus said in response. 

"Just a friend?" James asked. He fell in next to Regulus and faced the water too.

"Yes," Regulus said firmly. 

"But he just left you here alone?"

"Yes," Regulus repeated, this time through gritted teeth.

"What'd he do, apparate out?"

Regulus turned to him with wide eyes before nodding.

"How'd you know?" he asked, "we weren't sure about you."

"You just have that look about you," James said with a shrug.

Regulus had no idea what that meant, but he didn't doubt that it was true. He wasn't very attuned to the muggle world.

"But it was pretty rude of him to just leave you alone," James went on. He seemed impassioned on Regulus' behalf. It felt a little unfair, since Barty hadn't done it to be mean.

"He thought he was doing me a favor," Regulus said, somewhat bitterly. 

"Ohhhhh," James said, sounding pleased. Regulus hadn't expected that he would understand what he meant, but he obviously had. "You wanted to be alone with me then?"

Regulus turned to him, eyes wide, but didn't say anything. James was undeterred.

"Because I wanted to be alone with you too."

"Oh," Regulus said, momentarily struck dumb. "You did?"

James nodded.

"I did. Thought he was your boyfriend though, so I wasn't going to ask."

Regulus shook his head. He took a few steps away and sat down on a nearby rock. He looked up at James once he was seated.

"Definitely not."

James just looked at Regulus where he sat. Regulus had left enough room next to him, and if James really wanted to, he could...

"May I?"

Regulus patted the seat wordlessly. It was endlessly infuriating that Barty had been right, but he was still glad that James wanted to join him. 

They stared at the rushing water for a while wordlessly. 

After a while, Regulus let his hand fall between them on the rock. 

A little after that, James tentatively put his own hand down. 

Then Regulus turned his own hand over, and they were holding hands. 

And before he knew it, they were kissing with the sound of the rushing water in the background. 

Maybe hiking wasn't so bad after all.

[shieldofiron]

Cry Me an Ocean (Runaways)

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Co-written with @discodeviant and also on ao3

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Steve and Billy have been just hooking up for months now, and Billy cries pretty much every time they have sex. He tells Steve it's automatic, he can't help it and Steve thinks it's kind of cute, after he gets over the initial panic.

He cries when Steve presses kisses into the back of his neck while he rolls his hips into him, cries when he goes down on Steve, lets Steve brush the tears away with his thumbs. And he cries when he’s inside Steve, presses his face into the crook of Steve’s neck and groans when Steve tells him how good it feels.

So when Billy's making plans to leave town at last, he goes over to Steve’s for one last time. He knows they aren’t dating so he promised himself he won’t say anything. But in the heat of the moment… he doesn't want to cry, because he doesn't want to close his eyes and miss this moment.

He just looks down at this… boy, who he can’t bring himself not to care for, and even though his eyes burn, he holds back, praying Steve doesn't mention it because then he'll cry harder than he ever has. He just couldn't take it if Steve knew how he felt, he'd just rip in half.

Steve brushes the curl off of Billy’s forehead, and presses a kiss to the cheek that’s normally wet with tears. He can tell something's going on. Something's not clicking and he hates that he doesn't know what it is and can't figure it out. Steve’s been feeling it since the moment Billy waltzed through the door. But he doesn’t even know how the hell he could start to figure it out. Because how the hell could he? They fuck and Billy cries, he doesn't know anything else about the guy.

Afterwards he holds Billy and he decides… fuck it, "I never thought I'd say I missed the crying. You ok?"

Billy tries with everything he has to keep his voice even, "Yeah, pretty boy, I'm good."

But he's not good at all and it's really obvious. His voice cracks, and he's trembling. Steve rubs his back gently and Billy doesn't want to fucking leave, but he knows he has to. It's killing him because he was so sure… and now he's torn all to pieces because he let himself get attached.

Steve just rubs his back and whispers, "You know... I'm more than just a big dick... I have pretty big ears too... good for listening…”

Which makes Billy laugh, which makes him really cry.

"Yeah you do have pretty big fuckin' ears." He touches one and just fucking loses it because he's never been intimate with somebody like this, where he just wants to know and hold every itty bitty detail even down to Steve’s ears.

Steve just kisses his tears away, “So, who am I beating up?”

 "Me, because I'm fucking stupid." California bound and leaving the one person he's ever actually fallen in love with. Fuck, he's really done it now.

Steve just laughs, "Aww, i'd never beat you up. Like you too much."

Billy can only look at him, at his rumpled hair in the dim room, and think, it'd hurt less than leaving you.

But he can’t completely bring himself to say it. Not now, not when he feels like he could shatter from another soft word.

He’d planned to leave in the morning but he falls asleep under Steve’s soothing touch and wakes up in Steve's arms and in the morning light. And it all seems even stupider than ever.

Steve wakes a few moments after Billy sits up and tries to take a few deep breaths to calm himself, and swipe at the tears that have escaped down his cheeks.

Steve reaches a hand out and brushes Billy’s side, “You slept ov-”

“I’m leaving.”

“Well, it’s kind of early, but yeah, you don’t have to stay,” Steve pulls back and runs a hand through his hair.

“No. I’m leaving Hawkins.”

Steve inhales, "You're leaving?"

"Shit, Steve, I don't know anymore--"

"For how long? Where? When?"

Billy cries harder, burning his face in his hands and trying to stifle the noises.

Steve just frowns, "Damn. And I was going to ask you to go to California with me."

Billy freezes, but tears keep rolling down his face.

"I was thinking in the fall," Steve shrugs, "When it starts to get cold. A-as friends... or... I dunno... anyway, you know all the spots to go."

Billy exhales shakily, and turns to look at him. Steve’s so… everything. So plain yet overwhelming, curled up in his navy sheets with his morning breath.

"Friends. Yeah, alright.”

But it's dripping with sarcasm and they both damn well know it, and it's quiet for a while. They're still sticky with sweat but Billy's still there, he hasn't left yet, and he asks, "Would you really come with me?"

Steve reaches out, tentatively, and pulls Billy back into the bed, back against Steve’s chest.

And Billy has to whisper, "It has to be now. Today. My Dad's gone."

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The next time Billy cries is when Steve lays him down in the motel bed in Nebraska.

Billy thinks he's being selfish about the whole thing because he wants– needs– Steve so fucking badly. And yeah, maybe it's the most insane and reckless thing Steve has done in his goddamn life, but he needs Billy too. So, Nebraska for a night. Then Nevada, and that's when Steve cries.

Billy stops riding him, shaking hands digging into Steve’s face, "Is it home? Do you want to go back? I wouldn't have–"

Steve just swipes at his face and lays a hand over Billy’s, "Nah. I just realized I'm in love with you. It's cool."

Billy just looks down at him for a moment, bleary because he's starting to cry too, and everything's slowing down. Steve is fucking beautiful inside and out, and Steve is in love with him, and Steve is at a motel with him in Reno-fucking-Nevada because he wanted to go with him. So he leans over and kisses the fuck out of Steve, and they're both crying. Billy starts riding him again all slow and overwhelmed but it's the best night either of them have ever had.

Billy doesn't think too much about saying it back because he's not the best with words like that, but by then he bets that Steve likes to hear those things out loud. So when they're worn out and snuggling up for the night, he gets real close to Steve's ear and whispers, "You know I'm in love with you too." 

Steve nods. "Yeah, man. You ran away with me. You love me so bad"

Billy snorts, hiding his face in Steve's neck, "Shut the fuck up"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

When Billy sees the ocean again, he doesn’t cry. He just looks, hand folded into Steve’s. He doesn’t cry when the sun sets, and they sit on the beach until it turns cold.

But that night, when Steve pressed him against the door to their little cheap motel room, and kisses down his throat, he chokes on a sob.

“We did it,” Steve murmurs against Billy’s clavicle. “We did it.”

Billy grips Steve’s shoulder, plying his fingers through the hair at the nape of Steve’s neck.

“You’re free, Billy,” Steve whispers, “It’s okay.”

Billy can’t help it. Same as loving Steve, he can’t stop himself from crying. It’s automatic.

[i-think-i-did-it-again]

Fuck buddies III

Warning: smut, swearing, rough sex Author's note: I'm sorry Colson is still being a dick but I promise, he'll get better! Thank you for all the love on this story ❤️

It’s been a week since you confessed your feelings to Colson and he walked away. You’ve never felt humiliation like that in your entire life. You stood there for what felt like an hour, trying to process what had just happened. You still have no idea why he was so annoyed at you in the first place. You could understand him not wanting to kiss you because all of your friends were there and you haven’t exactly told them about your friends with benefits arrangement but why was he so distant, cold even?

It’s not like he doesn’t like displays of affection. Even when you’re around your friends, he’ll often snuggle up to you on the couch while you’re watching a movie or ask you to play with his hair. No one has ever really questioned it because he’s a pretty affectionate guy. He likes to hug people hello and goodbye, he kisses you on the lips all the time when he comes to your apartment late at night. Why did your touch bother him so much?

“Hello? Earth to Y/N?” Rook waves his hand in front of your face and you’re drawn back to reality.

Rook didn’t like your radio silence, so he decided to come over and hang out on an unseasonably cold LA Saturday. You’ve been sitting watching old reruns and eating greasy pizza, neither of you really talking. You’re praying he doesn’t bring up last weekend but you just know you’re not that lucky.

“Sorry, just in my own little world I guess,” you apologise and turn back to the TV.

“Are you going to tell me what’s up or are you just going to keep pretending like everything’s fine?” he looks at you, his brows knitted together and his lips pressed into a thin line.

“There’s really nothing to tell. Colson and I got into a dumb fight last weekend and we’re just being stubborn and waiting for the other to apologise first,” you shrug. 

You’ve been practising that explanation all week in the shower. Making sure you sound believable, making sure your voice doesn’t waver, your eyes don’t give away your pain. You know for a fact that no one will question because you know damn well that Colson will never tell anyone what actually happened. He’ll want to pretend that it didn’t, the same as you.

“So you didn’t tell Kells that you’re in love with him?” you choke on your own breath and stare wide eyed at Rook. “He told me when he stormed back to the booth after you left,” Rook explains and continues talking when you don’t say anything. “He was this weird mix of angry and sad, it was weird. I asked him what was wrong and where you were and he just exploded. He told me he’d fuck up and he doesn’t know how to fix it but he didn’t expect you to say what you said and he didn’t want to be the reason you cry. I was confused at first but then he explained what you guys have been…doing.” 

Blood rushes to your cheeks and you look away as you realise that he knows everything. You’re filled with surprise and shame that Colson would open up like that to Rook. You’ve been fuck buddies for almost 6 months now and the whole point of doing it late at night was so no one knew. It wasn’t like it was a ‘rule’ the two of you made, it was more like an unspoken agreement. You made sure not to make it obvious in front of everyone else that something was up, which was hard to do when sometimes you couldn’t sit down the next day because your ass cheeks were raw. You would catch Colson smirking every now and again when you grimaced whenever you tried to sit or stand. 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed or anything, I mean it makes sense,” Rook misunderstands your silence as embarrassment instead of shock.

“No, it’s not that. I mean this isn’t the most comfortable conversation I’ve had with someone, close friend or not. It’s just…well I’m surprised he told you everything. I guess I just thought he was ashamed of what we were doing and that’s why we’d only hook up late at night when he was drunk and horny.” 

Rook laughs and you scowl at him angrily. He holds his hands up in surrender and your expression softens. You’re not really sure how he could’ve possibly found that funny but his phone ringing interrupts you before you can ask him the question on the tip of your tongue.

“Hello? Oh hey you! I’m just hanging with…a friend,” he looks at you with an apologetic smile.

You assume he’s talking to a woman and he doesn’t want her to know he’s hanging out with another female. You silently excuse yourself and head to the kitchen to pretend you’re getting a drink to give him some privacy. You stare at your embarrassingly empty fridge and make a mental note to go grocery shopping at some point this weekend. You grab out a beer for you and Rook and poke your head around the corner to see if he’s still on the phone. He’s scrolling through the TV channels so you come back in and sit beside him. You silently hand him his beer and watch the basketball game he’s put on.

Rook leaves after the game finishes, and he’s drunk half the beers in the fridge, and you continue to half pay attention to the TV. you’re starting to feel the loneliness begin to creep in so you decide to grab your phone to make a grocery list to keep your mind busy. You have a missed call from a number you don’t recognise but they didn’t leave a message so you decide to ignore it. 

Once you’ve made your grocery list, you grab your house keys and head out the door. You open your front door and squeal when something falls onto you. You look down and see a lump of a human at your feet. You bend down to take a closer look and shoot straight back up when Colson’s bleach blond hair spills out of his dark beanie. His eyes are closed so you assume he’s either asleep or passed out until he speaks.

“Are you going to let me in or are you just going to stand there watching me?” he slurs out and your heart sinks when you realise he’s drunk.

“Don’t know if I really want you to come in to be honest,” you mumble as you stare down at him.

He opens his and they’re a strange mix of hurt and bloodshot. He sits up so he’s now leaning against the door frame and you awkwardly stand there, watching him like a caged tiger. You’re waiting for him to say something but when he doesn’t you begin to feel impatient and unsure of yourself.

“Listen Colson, I was actually going out and you’re kind of blocking me in so if you have something to say, just hurry up and spit it out.” 

You switch from one foot to the other uncomfortably and he laughs. Your cheeks flush and you’re tempted to kick him but you resist as it would probably just make things worse. He hauls himself to his feet with a grumble and you step back to create some distance between the two of you. Colson misreads this as an invitation to come in and closes the door behind him. 

You don’t even see him coming until suddenly his hands are wrapped in your hair and he’s slamming you against your front door. He collides his lips with yours and the breath is literally sucked from your body. His lips are desperate against yours and you’re trying so hard to resist him until he bites your bottom lip. You yelp and he rams his tongue into your mouth. He’s fighting with your resistance, using his strength and the weight of his body to hold you against the door. You want to hate every second of it but you love dominant Colson so much that it’s hard to fight back.

“Stop fucking resisting,” he growls against your cheek.

He grabs a handful of your hair and tugs. You cry out and he grins, pressing his crutch against your pelvis. He runs his teeth against the skin of your neck and you shudder. He flicks his tongue out every now and you shiver with pleasure. You shove against his chest and he tugs your hair again but you don’t cry out this time. Instead you grit your teeth and scowl at him. He flips you over suddenly and slams you back against the door. He holds the back of your head and reaches around to unbutton your jeans. He pulls them down roughly until the pool at your ankles. He runs his fingers up the back of your leg before swatting at your ass cheek. You call out and he presses you harder against the door.

“Tell me how much you love it,” he orders you as you scrunch your eyes closed. When you don’t say anything, he pulls your panties down and smacks you again, harder this time. “Say it!”

“I love when you spank me Colson!” you cry out as your eyes water.

“Call me daddy,” he groans as he presses his hard dick against your butt.

“I love when you spank me, daddy.” 

He groans louder before pulling away and smacking your ass cheek again. You yelp at the sting and he hits you again. He lets go of your head and kneels behind you. He lifts your leg to pull your jeans all the way off, doing the same with the other leg. He stands back up and grabs you by the back of the neck and leads you to your bedroom. He kicks the door closed behind him and pulls his t-shirt off.

“Kneel,” he instructs you as he kicks his Converses off. You follow his instruction and kneel beside your bed. He stands in front of you and you look up at him, waiting for him to speak. “Unbuttons my pants,” you do as you’re told. “Take them off,” he points to his black briefs and you do it. “Suck him,” he grits through his teeth.

You grab his throbbing cock and wrap your lips around the tip. He sucks in a sharp breath and you flick your tongue against his throbbing vein. You tease him, sucking softly, working your tongue lightly over his tip and just below his tip. As soon as he moans, you stop sucking and flick your tongue. You’re enjoying your new game until Colson grabs you by the throat and hauls you to your feet.

“I said fucking suck it, not make out with it!” he yells, throwing you onto your bed. You try to get up but he jumps on top of you and holds your arms down. “Do it properly or I will spank you so hard, you won’t be able to sit for a month. You got it?”

“Yes daddy,” you spit through gritted teeth.

He straddles your chest and you lift your head so you can take his dick back in your mouth. You suck hard this time, bobbing your head up and down while Colson moans above you. You press his cock so far down your throat that gag on it and this only turns him on even more. He begins to throat fuck you, ignoring your gags and choking. Finally he pulls out of your mouth and you gasp for breath, rasping and coughing.

“That’s what you get for teasing me, don’t ever fucking do it again,” he threatens you and pulls himself off your chest. 

He tears your t-shirt from your body, literally rips it in two, and throws it to the floor. He pulls you up by your arms so he can unhook your bra and then he pushes you back down. He uses his thumb and forefingers to pinch your nipples and you cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. He flicks your nipples, making you convulse off the bed. You’re writhing and moaning under his skilled fingers. He attaches his lips to your neck and sucks hard, marking you. He flicks his tongue to soothe your tender skin. He kisses his way up to your ear and nibbles your earlobe. You close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of him on top of you.

“Just so you know, this is the last time, so savour the moment,” he whispers in your ear and your eyes spring open. 

You try to sit up but Colson’s body is holding you down against your mattress. You try again but he won’t let you move. You’re trying so hard to thrash against him, you don’t care if he spanks you so hard you can’t sit for a month, you need to look at him, you need him to not do this.

“Let me up!” you scream at him but he doesn’t budge. “Colson, get the fuck off me!” 

You push your hands against his chest but he just wraps his hand around your wrists and holds them above your head. You can feel the tears threatening to spill over and you’re trying so hard to hold them back. Even though you hate just being Colson’s fuck buddy but having any type of intimacy with him is better than nothing. You know you’re just torturing yourself but you don’t care. Colson finally looks at you and for the first time, you notice the dark circles under his eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept in a week.

“Wh-why? I don’t want to stop,” you know you sound desperate but you can’t stop the whine in your voice.

“I’m not…what you want. I’m not good for you,” he looks away from you and your stomach twists. 

“I don’t give a fuck! If this is about what I said the other night, I didn’t mean it. I take it back!” 

His head whips back to you and he lets your wrists go. He scrambles off you like you just burnt him and you’re so confused. You sit up, pulling your knees to your chest, and watch him. He grabs his boxers and pulls them on. He yanks his jeans on next and you want to say something but you’re not sure what. You don’t want him to leave. This is what he always does. As soon as things get too real, he runs.

“D-don’t l-leave, p-please?” your voice cracks as you beg him. 

He looks at you and his eyes soften. The tears you’ve been fighting to hold back finally slip from your eyes and you’re so utterly embarrassed and broken. He takes a tentative step towards you and the floodgates break. A soft sob crawls its way up your throat and your body begins to shake. Colson sits on the edge of your bed and hesitates for a second before he pulls you to him. You swing your leg over his lap so you’re straddling him. He holds you against his chest and you bury your face in the crook of his neck and he strokes your hair.

“Shhh, it’s ok baby, I’m here. I’m not leaving,” he soothes you softly.

You let him hold you, soaking in every piece of information so that you can remember this moment forever. The feeling of his fingers in your hair, the sound of his breathing in your ear, the smell of his cologne mixed with weed, the rise and fall of his chest against yours. The moment is borderline perfect and your mind is turning to mush from the pure endorphins coursing through your veins.

“I’m sorry,” you hiccup against his throat.

“For what?” he sounds confused but he keeps stroking your hair.

“Telling you I love you.”

“Fuck Y/N,” he groans and throws his head back.

“What?” you pull back to look at him and his angry glare is back.

“I-I don’t want you to take it back! I don’t give a fuck that you said it! It doesn’t mean shit to me either way. Love me, don’t love me, it doesn’t change a fucking thing!” he screams and shoves you away from him.

You scramble to your feet, covering your bare chest with your arms. He's so angry, you hardly recognise him. Where did the fun, easy going guy you fell in love with go? He just seems so cold now. You stare at him stunned, the tears coming in wave after wave now. You feel your chest tightening and breathing is getting harder and harder to do. You imagine this is what a panic attack may feel like but you can’t be too sure. You’re too focused on watching Colson dress, mumbling and cursing under his breath. You just stand there dumbfounded, trying to find the words to make him stop but not having the physical strength to say anything. You feel this overwhelming weight begin to crash down on you and all you can do is stand there and take it. Colson doesn’t even look at you as he storms out of your bedroom. 

‘This is the last time, so savour it.’

[my-own-walker]

On The Other Line - Epilogue

note: sorry this took so fucking long i literally forgot about it lmao. many thanks to the anon that reminded me.

summary: the happy happy ending, marital bliss and such

warnings: none, just like fluffy stuff

+++

The vanity mirror in front of me lit up my face unforgivingly. I sat staring at my reflection, all too critical of the person staring back at me. Sighing, I picked up my moisturizer and got to work. An attempt to not feel so gross.

It had been years since Colin and I made the promise to each other to be together. 6, actually. 6 years ago to the day.

The date held a certain significance to both of us. Exactly two years after Colin's plea for us to give things a try behind the library, we got married. It was a small ceremony in the Easttown Fire Hall, the cheapest venue. The reception began as soon as we said our 'I do's.' We cleared out the makeshift 'altar' and it became our dance floor.

Small, yes, but also beautiful. I wore a vintage gown. A yellowing babydoll fit floor-length dress with deteriorating lace detailing and sheer fabric sleeves. It was my grandmother's. Colin had only proposed a few months prior. He was so excited to marry me, we rushed the whole ceremony. Looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way.

He wore a deep blue suit. He stood so stiffly at the altar it was as if he was in the police academy again. He cried as he said his vows. We danced all night in mutual bliss, surrounded by our closest family and friends. My Uncle Nick cried, too, when he made his speech, harkening back to the night we first met in his bar. It made him happy to take ownership of the beginning of our relationship like that.

Our first dance was to 'Waterloo Sunset,' by The Kinks. I didn't want anything sappy. Colin cried regardless.

Our tradition became going on a date every year on our anniversary as if we were only first dating again. We owned a house together, yet he'd still show up at the front door and ring the bell, flowers in hand like he was picking me up for our first date. He'd go visit his mom for the afternoon and get ready there, all so he could make things seem authentic. I loved how fresh it made things feel.

Only this year, I actually had butterflies. Not first date jitters, of course. No, this year I had a secret. One I was going to tell Colin about at dinner, or whenever it felt natural, I guess. Putting the brush down, finally satisfied with my work, I opened the bedroom closet to see a dress with a note attached to it.

'I saw this and thought of you. I can't wait to see you tonight. Love, Colin.'

I giggled to myself at his terrible handwriting. I unpinned the paper and brought it to the box I kept all of Colin's handwritten notes in. The dress was a precious brown floral mini-dress with a ruched chest and a white Peter Pan collar. There were puff sleeves and a tie in the back. It was exactly something I'd wear. My heart swelled when I noticed the price tag on the sleeve (the actual price hastily scribbled over by Colin) and saw it was from my favorite vintage store in town.

I slipped it on, softly praying it would fit, and to my surprise, it zipped up with no issue. A wave of nerves and nausea hit me. I doubled over slightly, scared I'd ruin the dress, trying to let it pass.

The doorbell rang so I forced myself to straighten up, slip on some shoes, and meet my 'date' at the door. I turned the knob and saw Colin standing on the step, wearing a brown shirt that matched the color of my dress perfectly under a suit jacket. His tie was knotted pristinely, signaling to me that it was his mother's handiwork. He had a bunch of daisies in his hand, my favorite type of flower.

'Holy shit,' he breathed, drinking me in.

'Oh shut up,' I giggled, feeling shy like I was a teenager all over again.

'That thing looks fuckin' awesome on you,' he grinned. 'I did a good job.'

'Ever the humble man, Zabel,' I quipped.

'Well, Mrs. Zabel, shall we?' he suggested, extending his hand to guide me out of the door. We walked arm-in-arm to the car, daisies now in my hand. He was sure to open the door for me demonstratively, further playing up the chivalry.

The restaurant he picked this year was a pretty good distance from home. I wasn't surprised to see it was an Italian place when we arrived. His favorite. The meal went well. It was a place we'd never tried before but we both ended up loving it.

Shortly before the dessert menus came, Colin produced a small box from his jacket pocket along with a handwritten letter.

'Colin, you didn't have to do that,' I whined.

'Uh-huh, yes I did,' he smirked. 'I don't wanna hear none of that shit, you're my wife and I want to spoil you.' He slid the box over the table to me and gestured with his hand for me to open it. I looked down and weighed the object in my hands.

I looked up at him, gazing through the strands of hair that had fallen in front of my eyes disapprovingly, knowing he spent all too much on an insignificant 4th wedding anniversary. I opened the tiny black velvet box to reveal a pair of dainty gold dangly earrings. One a sun, one a moon, each one possessing both of our birthstones.

'These are beautiful, my gosh,' I breathed, getting all choked up. 'I didn't get you anything nearly as nice!'

'You didn't have to get me anything, gorgeous,' he replied with a smile.

I took the earrings out of the box and put them on, then took a moment to admire how they looked on me using my phone's camera. I grabbed the letter off the table and slipped it into my purse for safekeeping.

'If I read that here I'll probably cry so embarrassingly we'll never be allowed back,' I laughed. 'Now my gift to you.' My stomach lurched at the thought. I couldn't exactly pin down why it made me so nervous to tell him my secret.

Colin took the card out of my hand and opened it. It was a regular anniversary card, but I made a very intentional writing error.

'The 3 of us have an amazing year ahead?' Colin read aloud.

'Mm-hmm,' I nodded, smirking.

'Who's the third?' he laughed, trying to make fun of my mistake. I didn't reply. I just sat there smiling until I saw the look of understanding wash over his face. 'No...'

'Yes,' I grinned.

'You're pregnant?!' he exclaimed, as calmly as he could, given we were in a public setting. I nodded. 'How long have you known?' His words came out in a breathy whisper. Tears brimmed in his eyes. He couldn't contain his smile.

'Just a couple of weeks. I figured it could wait until today.'

He sprung out of his seat and came over to the other side of the table, taking me by my hands to pull me to my feet.

'We're gonna have a baby,' he declared as he wrapped me in a tight embrace. 'I'm gonna be a dad.'

He pulled away, holding me at arm's length, looking at me with sparkling joy in his deep brown eyes. I had never seen a smile so big on his face. I was at a loss for words. His utter delight with the news told me everything I needed to know about our future.

+++

The happy ending Colin deserved :') I'm literally so sorry I forgot about this story idk what happened lmao. Thanks again to the anon that reminded me and thanks to all of you for your continued patience!

[illtakeyoutowonderland]

The One (Part 5)

The one where she explained

Sihtric x Reader

--------------------------------------------

Y/N had never been so happy to be able to wash herself like she was right now.

After Skade left with Haesten, she and Aethelflaed, along with Uthred and his men, had traveled to Saltwic, Aethelflaed's Mercian estate. But that took them days. Days Y/N could no longer tolerate anymore since she had never had to camp so many times in her life, let alone travel by horse. She missed cars. She even missed the bus.

She tried to stay away from everyone as she gathered her thoughts and tried to accept everything. It was hard, though. She could feel Uthred's eyes on her, and along with Finan's and Sihtric's as well. Osferth was the only one who actually talked to her. A few little comments on things, some thank you's as he brought her some food or shared some water. He was a sweet guy, Y/N liked him already, but still was torn between trying to be his friend while keeping his secret from Aethelflaed. So, she did what she did best. Stay quite and away.

But now, after a well deserved hot bath, she felt in a much better mood. She thank the universe for Aethelflaed's commodities on her house, or more like castle. She was given new and clean clothes, too. A simple dark green dress, warmth enough for this weather to her surprise. She brushed her hair and went to find her friend.

She instead found Finan and Osferth, practicing with swords and for a moment she wondered if she could ever learn. If she will ever have to. She got lost in her thoughts for a few seconds when someone from afar catch her attention. 

Sihtric was standing against the wall, not far from his friends, but paying them no attention. She felt guilty for the way she had treated him. Yes, he was infuriating, but she had let her emotions and her own problems get the best of her and she took it all on him. A man she didn't even know. 

She stood still for a few seconds, debating with herself about doing the right thing or ignore her feelings and go spend some time with Osferth. She rolled her eyes, knowing damn well she couldn't let this thing go. So, she walked up to him.

"Hey" She said softly as he realized her presence and looked at her

"Lady" He nodded at her and he watched her from head to toes and Y/N suddenly felt naked. His face showed no expression at all, but his eyes were dark and she even dared to say surprised to see her in a dress or clean, or both.

"Bet I do not look like a Dane in this dress, huh?" She awkwardly smiled and cursed herself for trying to be funny

"You do not, Lady" Sihtric said a little confused

A few awkward seconds passed, both in silence, before Y/N spoke again "So, uhm... I wanted to apologize to you"

"I think you already did, Lady" He said not looking at her "And then you went to pray for your God to give me a new brain, remember?" Ok, ouch

"Ok, so first of all, He is not my god, ok?" She exasperatly explained "And enough with the Lady thing, it's weird and my name is Y/N, not Lady " He looked at her and nodded as if to reasure her he was listening but he honestly he didn't know what to say. Sihtric was more than confused with her, she was so infuriating and could never predict her next move or words, still he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He looked over to Finan who shrugged and continue practising with Osferth. Y/N took a deep breath "What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry for insulting you and slapping you the way I did" She looked everywhere else but him "It was worng of me, you don't know me and I don't know you, and I was scared... I've been scared for the past few months and I took it on you. I don't know what came over me, I'm not like that" Sihtric notice, between her rambling, how her cheeks flushed a little and a few snowflakes that got stucked on her hair. And how she tried to keep her hands busy while explaining and he couldn't think of anything else but how cute she looked "You didn't deserved that, although you were being kind of annoying, but still, I was hoping you could forgive me and like, not hate me? So, yes, I'm sorry for all that"

She didn't dare to look at him, but could feel his stare on her. When he didn't say anything she looked up and found him smirking at her and blushed even harder "I can take a punch, Lady" This time his tone was playfull, ignoring her request to stop calling her like that

"I know" She said and took a few steps closer to him "Doesn't mean you have to"

"I think I'll live" He shrugged 

"But you still do not trust me" She stated "You, Uthred nor them" Y/N pointed at Finan and Osferth who pretended not to listen to the conversation "You do not trust me"

"Skade knows you and we do not trust her"

"But I don't know her" Y/N explained "I've never seen her in my life, I swear"

"You will have to talk to Lord Uthred about that" He started to walk towards his friends

"Are you serious?" She said turning in their direction "Can't make your own opinions without Uthred around?" She snapped

"This is more that just you and me" He said sternly "She cursed us all and you want me to believe you just happened to be around?"

"Sihtric, that's enough" Finan intervined

"She is hidding something, Finan!" 

"I am not!" Sihtric scoffed at her words "I'm serious, what do you want to know? I'll tell you everything, just ask me"

"How will I know you are not lying?"

"Guess you'll have to ask and see" She shrugged

"Ok" He said and stared at her "Who are you?"

"I'm Y/N" She said annoyed, she had said this a million times

"He means where are you from, Lady" Osferth intervined calmly

"And do not say from far away" Sihtric stated before she could give them the vage answers she had been giving them for days

"Oh, uhm" She looked to the floor weighing her options, the three men waiting for her response "I do not know how to explain"

"Lies" 

"You are really annoying you know that?" Y/N snapped at Sihtric and she could see Finan and Osferth grinning

"That's what we been trying to tell him, Lady" Finan said trying to light up the mood but failed

"Where do you come from?" Sihtric insisted "What are you doing here? What do you want?"

"I don't know, OK?!" She snapped louder than she intended, silencing the three men "I do not have a fucking clue why I am here! Wherever the fuck that is. I have no idea how the fuck I got here either, ok? I just am and you will have to fucking deal with it. And I cannot tell you where the fuck I am from because it doesn't even fucking exists yet, ok? I'm not from this time. How the fuck am I supposed to explain that, huh? You will believe I am some sort of witch, which I am not but at this very fucking moment I really wish I was so I could leave this fucking place and go back home and never see your stupid fucking face again!" She tried to hide the tears forming in her eyes, but failed enormously

"Those were a lot of fucks" Osferth said awkwardly breaking the silence she had once again created

"Yes, they were" Finan laughed loudly and the mood changed slightly "You talk to God with that mouth, Lady?" He asked jockingly

"I do not believe in God" She said wipping away the tears from her cheeks

"Then what do you believe in?" Sihtric asked, more calm than before but still wairy from her oubrust "The Gods?"

"Right now I only believe in punching you in the face for making me cry" She said softly, not entirly believing it. Finan snorted loudly and Osferth joined him in his laughter. Even Sihtric relaxed a little

"You will have to apologize again"  A small smirk started to show on his face

"You said you could take it" Y/N shrugged mocking him "And no, I don't believe in anything. I was born and raised a Christian but that didn't work out, so I have no religion now I guess"

"That's sad" Osferth said softly "What is your motivation, then if not God?"

"Men had never been my motivation for nothing, trust me" She said laughing, Finan joining her

"He is not a man, He is God" Defended Osferth

"He is a he" Y/N rolled her eyes and shrugged "That is enough menly for me"

"Lady" a new voice interrupted them and they all turned around to look at one of Aethelflaed's maiden "The Lady Aethelflaed is looking for you"

"Guess we will have to leave our theological debate for later" Y/N joked and turned to follow the woman

"Theo what?" She heard Sihtric ask and Osferth sighing heavily as she walked away with a little smile on her face

------------------------------------------------------------------------

[creepswrites]

MASK OF HATE | CH. 3 (Michael x Reader)

it feels so good to be writing this guy again god... i've rly pulled from my own Michael headcanons for this one so i hope you enjoy! :D

Michael Myers x trans!Reader (he/him)

Summary: "Stop me if it gets to be too much, okay?" You dabbled the brush in the dark red eyeshadow. It would hopefully hide his scars as well. You weren't even sure how familiar people were with his actual face. You wondered if people knew what Michael Myers, the man, looked like. Or if they just saw the white, pale face of the Boogeyman when they closed their eyes.

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Halloween in Haddonfield was always a high-strung time.

Ever since the Halloween killings a few years ago, the town had since taken a hesitant approach to the holiday. Parents went out with their kids or simply stayed home with them. If phones went down or power went out, teens were told to cross the street and get help. But people would still dress up, still go looking for candy, and still sneak out to make out with their respective partners.

But Halloween had come and gone without much issue for you. Of course, Michael had been busy that night. You'd stayed up late into the night to wait up for him, watching horror movies with some candy and popcorn until you heard your back door open and heavy footfalls approaching. He didn't have many injuries - he rarely did anymore - but he was still soaked in blood.

With the holiday over, you wondered what Michael would do next. You lay in bed and stared up at your ceiling for the first few days after Halloween stewing in your worries. Would he leave? Go back to the institution? What was he going to do? Surely he couldn't keep killing, right? There'd be no people left in Haddonfield eventually.

But he didn't do any of those things. Instead, he'd sit on your couch and watch television - intrigued by the nature documentaries and cartoons the most - and follow you around the house when you were home. And if you were out at work or shopping, he'd stalk you from a distance. It became the new normal.

Months passed. Fall colors began to fade to browns and whites as November came. You still left out food for Mayhem in hopes he'd come home but you were beginning to lose hope. All you could do was pray that he didn't suffer before he died or that he wasn't eaten by some other animal. Michael would watch you from the doorway, dressed in a sweater and plaid pj bottoms you'd gotten for him as you sat on the steps of your back door, hoping your kitty would come home. It must've been silly to him but he never stopped you.

He didn't kill. At least, not that you knew of. You tried to avoid the news for the most part and with your dad gone, you didn't have much inside information anymore.

The guilt hadn't really set in yet either. You missed him, of course, but he'd never been very present. The death of your mom had hit him hard and you always felt like he'd never properly forgiven you for it. How a man could resent his son for something he didn't do was ridiculous to you. You missed the idea of your dad more than who he actually was.

But you made Thanksgiving. Michael was familiar with the concept though it had been a long time since he'd participated. So, you went all out. Turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, gravy, the whole nine yards. The two of you ate together on your couch and watched Charlie Brown episodes since those had become Michael's favorite to watch. You both ate your weight in food and fell asleep on opposite ends of the couch. You'd never seen him sleep before and you were momentarily taken aback by how peaceful he looked.

It was nice.

One afternoon when you got back from work, you saw Michael masked up and standing outside your front door, holding something wrapped up in his arms. When you'd gotten closer, fearing the worst, you nearly wept with joy to see Mayhem bundled up in a towel. Cold and shaking and most certainly sick but alive. You'd gone to the vet's office a shaking, sobbing mess, just happy to have your kitty back.

Mayhem had to have surgery for his infected wounds and would be on antibiotics for awhile. But he was home and thats all that mattered to you. You'd thanked Michael profusely and brought home pumpkin pies for weeks after, even with the fall pumpkin flavors out of style. They were definitely his favorite. He liked most sweet things, honestly. You were surprised how much of a sweet tooth he had.

November browns turned to December blues as snow and frost started making appearances. The first day it snowed, you'd bundled yourself and Michael up and gone outside to see the falling snow. He wore the mask much less now, leaving the thing on the kitchen table more often than not, so you got to put a cute wool hat on him and drag him outside with your mitten-clad hand clasping his. "Come see, come see!"

Michael had looked up when he noticed the snowflakes falling. Just a light flurry. He watched as you stuck your tongue out and caught snowflakes on your tongue and gave you a strange look. "Try," you nudged him gently. "It's fun, I promise."

He'd done it but only to make you happy.

And still, he hadn't killed yet. You wondered if it was just a Halloween thing. If he was a normal person throughout the rest of the year. Obviously you'd never pushed about what happened with his sister - you liked living - but you wondered if the killings were a result of the trauma. Trauma that the great Dr. Loomis neglected to acknowledge. Because it was far easier to pretend Michael didn't feel anything. That he held no remorse for what he did. Yet the doctor didn't put together that Michael went from a totally normal boy to suddenly nonspeaking and monotonous after killing her.

It had affected him, even if the doctor nor Michael himself wanted to acknowledge that.

Life continued on. Mayhem made a full recovery and spent his days lounging in the winter sun. You would cut Michael's hair to keep it from growing out of control and he helped you shovel snow from the driveway. You noticed that he liked working with his hands and seemed to enjoy drawing on loose paper around the house, so you got him paints and canvases and cleaned out your dad's old room to let him have an art studio. The two of you lay down old newspapers and he'd disappear for hours up there to paint.

Michael didn't show the paintings to you. Not often anyways. That wasn't really the point anyways. But there were a few times when he'd leave a dried canvas outside your bedroom door or on your bed. Your favorite so far had been a blur of pale blues and whites of a winter sky, your own profile looking up at the sky. The way Michael painted was streaky, like his hands shook when he painted. Lines were messy and colors bled together, but you recognized yourself in his art.

It was interesting, seeing yourself through someone else's eyes - much less his - translated to art. You kept the painting in your room and you'd trace your fingers along the dry paint, tracing his lines. And you wondered - fleetingly and with bright red cheeks - if you looked beautiful in his eyes.

You liked to think that you did.

It was around the middle of December as you attempted to get ready for a holiday party. Attempted being the key word. "Michael," you sighed, adjusting your elf hat. "I told you, I'll be back later tonight. I've left dinner in the fridge and I promise I'll call when I'm coming home."

Michael glared at you. He had a habit of being a brat and you found it equally annoying as you did endearing. He'd put the mask on after he learnt you were leaving but that was pretty normal. Whenever you weren't around, he'd wear it. But he'd also wear it when he was just generally stressed out or upset. He'd become significantly more comfortable not wearing it around the house over the few months you'd been living together.

You wondered, briefly, if he ever slept. You hadn't seen him do so since Thanksgiving and it momentarily worried you.

"If you're so upset, why not just come with?" You snorted to yourself. "I can do your makeup, dress you in a cute sweater. Could be fun." You joked.

You focused on doing your own makeup: dark green eyeshadow and red lips. Makeup wasn't your preference but it suited your elf costume. A simple green tunic with red and white striped knee-high socks. The hat and boots you wore were matching greens and you'd heavily blushed your face, drawing little snowflakes in white liquid eyeliner. It was cute.

You heard heavy footsteps approach you until you felt Michael standing directly behind you. "Wait, are you-?" You spun around to stare up at him. "Are you serious?"

A blank stare. He put a hand around your neck and you noted his tense shoulders. A few months ago, this gesture would have terrified you. Now, you knew that it was just his way of expression. A knife and a violent hand was all he could use to convey things to you. So you didn't panic at all.

"I'm not making fun!" You insisted, lifting a hand to push lightly at his chest. "I just can't tell if you're actually interested in going. You know there'll be people there, right?" Silence. "People you can't kill." More silence. "I'm not kidding either. You can't kill or hurt anyone if you come with me." It had been a long time, sure, but you could never be totally sure what Michael's motives may be.

Michael just let go and took a step back. You gave him a look. It was hard to tell what went on in his head a lot of the time. You'd certainly gotten better at reading him but Michael could still be unpredictable. So, watching him turn on his heel and stalk towards the dresser made you pause.

He fished out a black t-shirt and matching black jeans - clothes you'd gotten him for when he needed to change out of that jumpsuit - and turned to face you. You blinked once. Twice. "You seriously want to go with me to a Christmas party? Dressed up? Without your mask on?"

And Michael nodded once.

That was significant. You could count on two hands the amount of times Michael nodded or shook his head at you. So for him to be this certain about it...

"Alright then, c'mere big guy." You gave him a soft smile and motioned for him to sit on the bed.

As he took the mask off - hands shaking and hesitant - you started leafing around in your vanity drawers as you heard him change. A soft, colored contact lens would help disguise the injured eye. It was a jade green, yeah, but it was better than nothing. Heterochromia was uncommon, not unheard of.

You set the small package aside and looked through makeup options. You found some red eyeshadow you could do around his eyes and on his nose, some blush, and your white liquid eyeliner for details. You collected all your goodies and turned to face Michael on the bed.

Your smile fell when you saw him dressed in the black clothes but still gripping the latex mask tightly, his knuckles whitening as he hung his head and stared into it's face. He looked almost out of place on your bed, amongst the pale blue sheets and stuffed animals.

"You don't have to go." You reassured softly. Slowly, he looked up at you. "I know this isn't something you normally do but," Michael blinked slowly as you continued rambling. "I don't want you to feel like I'm making you go with me. You can stay and I'll be back soon and I- I can bring back pie or something. Don't feel pressured."

Michael stared at you for a long time, fingernails digging into the latex of his mask. The last thing you needed was Michael snapping and killing people at the party. You'd both be in trouble for that.

But you also wondered if he was unfamiliar with being given choices. You'd never forced Michael into anything he didn't want to do and you had a feeling that wasn't typical for him.

He slowly, ever so slowly, unclenched his fingers and let the mask fall to the floor. The two of you stared at it for a long time as he blinked at it. You could tell by the clenching in his jaw that he was certainly fighting something off.

You wanted to make it easier for him.

So you sat down gently on the bed beside him and reached for his face. His flinch was the most emotion you'd ever seen from him and it made your heart clench. "It's just me," you said softly, opening the container with the contact lens inside. "'m not gonna hurt you."

Michael just glared slightly at you. You giggled softly and opened the contact lens case up. You'd have to cover up his injured eye, at the very least. "Alright, have you ever put contacts in?" You asked, looking up at him.

You saw something pass over his face quickly, barely there, before his face schooled itself once again. He shook his head once. This was going to be tricky. It took some time to get the contact in his eye. Neither of you really knew what you were doing. Michael had never put contacts in and you were scared it'd roll back to his brain. But, through your combined efforts, it now sat comfortably in his eye. Pretty blue-and-green heterochromatic eyes. Even with the scarring, he looked... normal.

"Should I even ask if you've ever worn makeup?" You asked teasingly. You knew he hadn't. Probably. But you were curious how new this all was for him. "I'll be brushing your face and around your eyes. Is that okay?"

Michael blinked slowly, which you took for a yes.

"Stop me if it gets to be too much, okay?" You dabbled the brush in the dark red eyeshadow. It would hopefully hide his scars as well. You weren't even sure how familiar people were with his actual face. You wondered if people knew what Michael Myers, the man, looked like. Or if they just saw the white, pale face of the Boogeyman when they closed their eyes.

Your heart clenched a little as Michael shut his eyes, a hand reaching out to clench your hip tightly. He hated feeling vulnerable. You were only an exception to his 'no-touching-me' thing because you'd proven your loyalty. In exchange, he gave you his protection. But he still disliked giving over control and holding you was the best he could do to abate his worries.

He trusted you, despite himself. The thought made you smile to yourself as you brushed red powder around his eyes. Neither of you had planned on caring about each other so much but here you were.

You hummed to yourself as you worked - some pop song you'd heard while grocery shopping a few days ago that still haunted you - and you felt Michael's grip on you slowly relax. "So, a few of my friends will be there," you said softly, brushing around his eyes in a sort-of raccoon style. It obscured a lot of the scarring, thankfully. You took out some black eyeshadow to highlight around his eyes and make them look sunken in. It made him look just a tad intimidating, black soot that petered out to a dark red. "They might try and talk to you but I'll try and take over. If they ask, I'll tell them you're mute and they won't expect you to speak. Okay?"

Michael gave your hip a squeeze for affirmation.

"What do you want me to call you? I mean, I could just call you Michael but I'm worried it'll look suspicious." You hummed while you dusted red on his nose to resemble Rudolph. "Though I guess no one's worrying about the Boogeyman on Christmas." You teased playfully.

He opened his eyes and gave you a slow blink. It was strange, seeing him look this normal. Soft brown curls still messy from the mask, half-lidded eyes as he stared at you, and a defined jawline. Michael was objectively very pretty. He had good skin and pretty eyes, especially with the eyeshadow, and-

You cleared your throat and reached for the blush. "This might feel a bit rougher than the other brush but it's alright, I promise. Close your eyes again?" He shut his eyes again and you brushed a heavy blush on his cheeks. Before he could open his eyes again, you'd grabbed the liquid eyeliner and held under his chin as you began drawing freckles on the warm pink. Little, simplistic snowflakes around his eyes and white dots that faded out towards his nose. That way you two could match!

You smiled to yourself as you worked and it wasn't until you capped your eyeliner that you realized he'd been staring at you.

There were a few times in the time of you knowing Michael that you wondered if he could read minds. If, in order to be the scariest possible thing to a person, he had to know exactly what scared someone. Of course, you knew that was ridiculous. This wasn't a Stephen King novel. But still. It felt like he knew what you were thinking a lot of the time.

You straightened up and gave him a soft smile as you dropped your hand. It was almost hysterical to you - seeing the Haddonfield Boogeyman dressed up like Rudolph - but you restrained yourself from laughing. So you just stood quickly and went to grab some little horns off your vanity. They were simple, just a brown headband with some simple horns tangled in pretend lights, but they were undeniably cute.

Michael seemed to squint at them before looking at you. "Trust me, they'll look super cute on you." He seemed to relent himself to his fate and let you put the horns on him. Gently, you fluffed his hair so that you couldn't see the headband as easy. Stepping back, you looked him over.

Michael fucking Myers, dressed up as a reindeer. Cute little nose, horns, and all.

"I could just call you Mike," you hummed, tilting your head at him. "That'd be less suspicious." He glared at you and you smiled with a faux-innocence. "What? Don't like it?" Michael glared harder and you laughed. "Alright, alright, I guess Michael isn't that suspicious. Hopefully they won't ask for your last name." You shrugged.

Michael surveyed you silently, tilting his head the way he always did. Inspecting. But, more accurately, looking at something he found fascinating. It was how he looked at his victims sometimes. How he looked at you.

"Well Mikey," you said as you went to grab your bag of belongings, dismissing that train of thought. Technically, your bag was a purse but you didn't think of it like that. "Shall we?"

He just stared at you. He hadn't killed you for the nickname so you assumed it was fine. It wasn't like Michael would tolerate things he disliked, after all.

How Chrissy had managed to get this party together was beyond you. She was a girl you'd known in high school and had kept somewhat in touch with since you'd both graduated. She'd been a year above you and had been dating the quarterback of the football team, or something like that. Popular, well-liked, and clearly still trying to ride the high off of that despite graduating out of high school cliques.

The house was decorated to the nines in lights with little reindeers made of lights sat grazing outside. Soft snow decorated the front of the house and highlighted the pretty rainbow lights all around the exterior. They ran all along the roof and even down the porch where you and Michael stood. You'd rung the doorbell and were waiting for Chrissy to answer.

When she did, smiling widely and dressed in an inappropriate Mrs Claus outfit, she surveyed you and Michael. "And who is this handsome guy? Bitch, I thought I told you to tell me if you knew any cute guys." She teased, letting you both come in and take your coats off. There was already a good amount of people in the large suburban home, most drinking spiked apple cider and Christmas cookies.

Michael held your bicep once he was free of his coat. "Sorry Chrissy, he's, uh," you bit the inside of your cheek, trying to come up with a cover story. You panicked when she gave you an expecting look. "He's my boyfriend." You blurted out quickly.

Well, that worked.

Chrissy pouted exaggeratedly. "Damn. Well, anyways, mingle! Have fun! We're doing the Secret Santa thing later- Oh! Did you bring your-?" You held up the red and green gift bag and Chrissy beamed, happily taking it from you. "Perfect, alright, you're free to go!"

You led the way, Michael still holding your arm, and went to the kitchen. It was strange, leading the Haddonfield Boogeyman through a Christmas party. Usually, you were able to dismiss the fact he killed people from your mind. It had gotten easier since he hadn't killed anyone in nearly two months, but you didn't play ignorant for his sake.

The kitchen was clean, white, and pristine. Chrissy's parents had a maid who cleaned everything so their house always looked more like an interior design catalogue rather than a home. You swiped a candy cane sugar cookie and gestured for Michael to grab one.

He just stared at you, eyes widened ever-so-slightly. "What?" You asked. His head tilted to the side and you felt your face heat up. "Oh, sorry... It was the best I could think to say in the moment. Are you... okay with that?"

Michael stared at you, eyes calculating. You almost began spouting apologies again before he took a cookie - frosted to look like a snowman - and bit into it, never breaking eye contact. You weren't sure if that was approval or disapproval so you both just stood there. Staring awkwardly at each other and eating sugar cookies.

When he finished his, he seemed to straighten up. Stepping forward, he gently brushed his lips to your forehead. Not a kiss - he wasn't exactly skilled in that area - but the intent was there and the message was clear. Your face lit up and you nodded when he pulled back. You could've sworn his eyes softened. "Cool. Cool, okay." You said softly.

Standing on your tiptoes, you pressed a soft, chaste kiss to his cheek - leaving a faint lipstick stain - and grabbed another cookie with a glass of the cider. You passed him the cookie and motioned for him to follow you into the crowd as you suppressed a giddy smile.

The party went smoothly, all things considered. Of course, everyone you talked to wanted to meet your new boyfriend. "It's a recent development," you'd say. If anyone asked him questions, he'd bite into the cookie and you'd answer for him. He was a mechanic you'd met when he worked on your car. He liked painting and was sweet with your cat. And you'd been dating for a month and a half now.

Michael would occasionally hold your wrist as you two walked around. It felt normal. Painfully so. As if you and Michael were just two normal young adults at a Christmas party. As if you weren't harboring Haddonfield's own serial killer. It felt sweet - feeling Michael hold onto you as you led him around. You'd hold his arm sometimes when you talked, pleasantly buzzed from the cider and enjoying the warm Christmas atmosphere with your boyfriend.

Perhaps it had come too easily to you to call him that.

When Chrissy's parents came home with some of their own friends, you hadn't thought much of it. Until the sinking, chilling remembrance that Chrissy's dad - John Kallas - was a police officer. A friend of your dads. Who had been part of the force looking for Michael around Halloween time.

You clutched his arm as one of your friends talked to you, not really listening to them and instead focused on keeping Michael out of sight of Officer Kallas.

But the older folk seemed to retreat to one of the sitting rooms, barely sparing the partygoers a glance. You let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

The Secret Santa went without a hitch. You sat next to Michael on the couch and curled at his side. He'd seemed surprised at the gesture and slowly put his arm around you, making you blush sweetly. You'd gotten a new book on plants and growing vegetables ("Oh, you think I should grow tomatoes?" You'd looked at Chrissy. "Well, if you insist!" She'd laughed.) and you leafed through it, skimming the words as you sat against your boyfriend's side.

When it finally came time to leave, you chatted with Chrissy in the doorway as you and Michael shrugged your coats on. As you went to step out the door, Officer Kallas was making his way to the kitchen and you saw his stumble out of the corner of his eye, watching you and Michael leave.

You took his arm tightly and walked briskly to the car, not wanting to give the officer the chance to come see if he'd really seen The Boogeyman as your date to his daughter's party.

Christmas came and went. You'd gotten Michael new paints and a sketchbook with some charcoals and the two of you ate pie and roast chicken and cookies you'd made after Michael's insistence. Apparently the ones at Chrissy's party had swayed him. At least he'd helped you make them. His frosting skills left much to be desired but he had fun painting them and adding sprinkles.

At one point, you must've gotten frosting on your cheek. Slowly, he'd reached over and brushed the offending icing from your face and he licked it off his thumb absentmindedly. As though it were a perfectly normal thing to do.

You froze, staring at him with wide eyes. Neither of you had really brought up the party - or your relationship. At one point while frosting, you'd decided to see something and stood up under the guise of getting more icing. You paused, brushing curls back from his forehead as you tilted his head back, and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

He blinked up at you slowly. Like a cat did to show it trusted you.

As you made your way to the kitchen - trying and failing to stifle your smile - you felt his eyes on you all the way.

But it was New Years when things really changed.

You and Michael had the television on with the channel turned to watch the ball drop. It wasn't typically a tradition you cared about but you could tell your housemate was intrigued. He'd been upstairs painting for most of the day while you cleaned the house up a bit. It was still too snowy out to be gardening. You looked forward to spring and being able to set up your garden again.

Once the sun set, you made hot chocolate and ordered pizza. Michael preferred just plain cheese but you'd gotten yours with olives - something Michael always gave you looks for.

It was cute. He had a lot of personality once you knew where to look. And he'd clearly gotten very comfortable with you during the time you'd been living together.

The two of you had been sitting on the couch. 11:59PM. One more minute until the new year. "It's not the most exciting thing in the world," you said from your spot beside Michael, "but it's cute. It's nice to see everyone get together over something like this."

Michael had just stared at the television with a slight tilt to his head.

10...

You felt your throat tighten as a thought came to your head. Chrissy's words came back to you as you recalled her talking about her favorite New Years tradition.

9...

"Hey, Michael?" Your voice was soft. You'd barely even realized you'd spoken until you felt his eyes on you.

8...

Swallowing was a challenge for you. "There's, um, a kind of New Years tradition. That, um, means-"

7...

"-you'll have good luck for the rest of the year."

6...

"Want to do it?"

Michael just stared blankly at you. His eyes darted between your two eyes, calculating.

5...

He gave you a single nod. You quickly darted your tongue out to wet your lips.

4...

"Trust me," you said more than asked.

3...

He just stared at you as you moved your hand up slowly, touching his face with your fingertips. It felt like the sound of your heart pounding was audible, even over the sounds of the tv.

2...

Michael's eyes widened ever so slightly.

1...

You leaned forward and kissed him. The sounds of cheering could be heard but it sounded like it was underwater. All your senses were fixated on the man in front of you. He felt tense under your touch, even as you slid your hand to better cup his face.

But then you felt him lean into the kiss and you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest.

Michael didn't exactly have a lot of experience with kissing but he was clearly trying. You scooted closer and he put his hands on your hips, lifting you into his lap without breaking the kiss.

You sat in his lap as you kissed, parting occasionally to breath but you only felt yourself choke when Michael would stare up at you with half-lidded, glassy eyes.

He was pretty, you admitted to yourself freely before leaning back down to kiss him again. Slowly, you ran your hands through his curly hair as you kissed.

Things changed on New Years but you certainly weren't complaining.

The snow had finally begun clearing up and you could go outside again with relative ease. Rain and sleet was more preferable to snow for you, since it made walks in the forest more enjoyable.

You and Michael were dating. Or, at least, the closest he was comfortable with in regards to dating. You kissed sometimes, he'd stand at the foot of your bed when you slept, and he let you touch him more. Slow but steady progress.

He seemed to genuinely like you and trust you.

One day, you'd needed to go shopping to grab some things. "Michael?" You called out as you fastened your shoes, "I'll be back around 5:30, alright?"

Ever since the party, he'd gotten better about you leaving the house for short periods of time so long as he knew when you'd be coming back. Because if you didn't, he'd hunt for you. You didn't doubt that.

Michael appeared in the doorway of the kitchen a few feet away from you, staring at you. You shot him a smile and grabbed your bag. "See you soon!" And off you went.

Looking back on it, you wished you had stayed home.

At the grocery store, you had been examining a box of cereal when someone approached you. Chrissy. Her smile looked tight, forced. "Hey," she said sweetly. "How've you been?"

"Good," you said, looking concerned. "Are you okay-?"

"How's your boyfriend. What was his name, uh, Michael?" She looked like she'd be sick and you felt a jolt of white-hot adrenaline rush through you. A quick glance over your shoulder confirmed the worst. Her dad was standing at the end of the aisle dressed in his uniform with his partner beside him. And they were watching you.

"He's traveling. Went to see family." You tried to keep your voice neutral.

Chrissy pouted. "Someone die?" Her faux sympathy got worse. "Maybe his sister?"

She knew. You don't know how she found out, but she knew. You don't know why they took so long to do something about it but you felt compelled to run.

Times like this you wished you had a way to get ahold of Michael.

You tightened your grip on your bag and narrowed your eyes, hoping you could maintain your lie. "No. His dad is sick."

Chrissy clearly didn't believe you. But she didn't stop you as you put the cereal box in your cart and walked away. You could hear footsteps picking up the pace behind you and you picked up speed.

When Officer Kallas called your name, you turned on your heels and shoved the metal cart forward, driving it into his stomach. You took the opportunity to bolt out the door as you heard him call for backup on his walkie talkie.

His partner was still hot on your heels as you ran towards your car. All you had to do was get inside and you could get away. Go to a phone booth or something and call Michael. Tell him to get Mayhem and get out and you'd come get him. Something. Anything.

But you'd never get the chance. Because the officer grabbed you around your middle and lifted you. "Put me down!" You shrieked.

"You're being taken into police custody for suspicion of harboring a criminal. Come with me." He dragged you towards a police car where Officer Kallas was standing.

They overpowered you, shoving you into the backseat and slamming the door, locking you in. Tears fell down your face as you panicked. He wouldn't know they were coming. They'd catch him and then what? Would they kill him? Shoot to kill?

You felt like throwing up. All you could do was curl up in the seat and sob.

The only thought on your mind was that you hoped he'd be okay.

Dr. Samuel Loomis considered himself a brilliant man.

He'd been on Michael Myers' case since the child first arrived at Smith's Grove and he liked to think he knew Michael better than anyone. He'd studied the boy, subjected him to various medications, attempted to trigger anything out out of the man.

Years went by and there had been no response. So there had been talk of releasing Michael with parol. Dr. Loomis had done everything he could to prevent that from happening.

Then Halloween had come and Michael had escaped. And, yet again, he had escaped.

"Doctor?" Officer Kallas's voice broke the psychologist from his stupor. He'd been staring out the window of his office again, lost in thought.

"Come in." He turned, looking over his shoulder and freezing.

There you were. In handcuffs with tear tracks on your face. "We apprehended them like you asked. We'll head to their house to retrieve-"

"Don't," Loomis held up a hand. "No. We've got all we need right here." He approached you slowly, like you were something to behold. You felt gross under his stare. "Michael will come looking for them. Then we'll catch him. We can't give him any advantages."

Officer Kallas nodded and you bit your tongue to prevent any objections from spilling past your lips. You didn't want to give the doctor any more information than you had to.

The officers left you alone with him and he sat at his desk. "Tell me," he hummed, "what was being held captive by Michael like?" You looked at him, brow furrowed. He seemed to misinterpret your confusion. "I know you were held by him for quite some time. Your friend Chrissy told her father about it. You were-"

"I wasn't prisoner." You spat, almost offended.

"So you were simply afraid." The doctor clicked his pen, beginning to write something.

You glared at him. "What is this, an interrogation?"

Dr. Loomis lifted his head. "I've studied Michael for sixteen years," he said, "and I've never seen him so fascinated by another human being."

"Maybe you're just shitty at your job." You scoffed.

Were you not glaring daggers at the man, you would've missed the angry look you received back. "Perhaps." The doctor said. "But in good time, my theories will be proven." He stood from his desk, approaching the door and grabbing your arm. "Michael will come for you. And when he does, I'll finally rid the world of that potent evil."

You wish you'd stayed home.

[glittering-moonlillie]

Damian Wayne x non-binary! Reader coming out headcanons!

Word Count: 753

Warnings: To be honest, I'm not sure how good this is! I tried my absolute best though.

Summary: As you struggle with your identity, you also worry about how your best friend might react.

The constant anxiety you felt in your own skin could be compared to an army of ants crawling along your flesh, never going away, never leaving

You were never comfortable in your own body, never truly being happy with the gender you were assigned at birth. Sure, you still loved wearing dresses and skirts, but it made you uncomfortable to think that you were forced to be a girl because of that. 

It took you a long while to accept that you were non-binary and an even longer time to decide to come out to your friends. 

Damian had always been there for you in a way no one else had been. He was critical and brutally honest, but he did his best to be kind and loyal to you. You were allowed to be vulnerable with him and he never once took advantage of that. 

He was always so talkative too, never missing the opportunity to state his opinion even if it wasn’t always necessary, but once you realized who you actually were, you suddenly became worried about what he would say - what he’d think. 

As much as you loved him as your best friend, you were worried that his overly critical views would ruin the relationship you guys had. It was the main reason why it took you months of building self-confidence and pep talks in your mirror in order for you to muster the courage to walk your way to Wayne Manor. 

Your plan, ideally, was to: Go over, hang out with Damian and the rest of his siblings for a bit, casually bring up the fact that you were non binary and hope and pray that it all went well. 

Of course, you weren’t foolish enough to believe this plan would be executed perfectly. Being friends with the Wayne’s came with the fact that you would never be able to perfectly plan everything. 

Alfred had let you into the Manor once he saw you outside on the doorstep, slowly nodding and briskly stepping to the kitchen to presumably fetch you some tea. He had always said that tea could cure everything, but you were sure it was just a British thing. 

Damian was in the vast living room where he and Dick were engaged in a high stakes Smash Brothers battle, Jason on the sofa reading (probably rereading) To Kill A Mockingbird. Tim was most likely hiding away in his room under a pile of blankets. 

You made your way over to the two brothers, sitting down next to Damian and watched as he demolished Princess Peach with his Charizard. 

Damian greeted you with a quiet hello while the eldest pulled you in for a hug.

The underlying anxiety you felt finally resurfaced as the main problem sat right next to you. You fidgeted with your pleated skirt, running your hands through non-existent folds.

Damian must have noticed your nervous behavior since he had shooed away Dick and Jason and turned off the TV. He always took great care in paying attention to when you were feeling anxious, knowing how important it was to take care of your needs. 

He was quick to ask you what was wrong, but you failed to formulate a coherent sentence. All the words you had been dying to tell him dried up immediately in your throat, never seeing the light of day. 

You began to overthink once more, wondering if this truly was the best idea. Your friendship with him was not worth breaking over something like this. 

Damian’s eyes twisted in confusion, noticing how shallow your breath was and how your fingers continued to fray the ends of your sweater. 

“Tell me.” He said softly. 

Whether it was because of his upbringing or if it was because of genetics, Damian had always carried a commanding voice with him. No matter how soft it was, his voice was hard to deny. 

“I’m…it’s just…” You let out a shaky breath. “I think I’m non-binary.”

You waited for Damian’s reaction, expecting him to cuss you out and cease talking to you forever, but instead he just blinked. 

“And…you were nervous about telling me this?” 

You silently nodded your head. 

“They/Them, I’m assuming?” You hesitantly nodded again, a little shocked at how calm he was acting. Was he not disgusted? Was he not weirded out? 

“If it helps,” he added, “This doesn’t change my opinion of you. You will…you’ll always be my number one.” He reached for your hand and gently squeezed it, managing a small smile.

"So you aren't freaked out about this?"

Damian shrugged at your question. "Why would I be? You're still you, and I'm not an idiotic fool to risk losing you over something like this, especially if it makes you happier."

A smile found its way to your lips and you couldn't help but to pull in Damian for a hug. Looking back, you felt silly for being nervous about telling the boy wonder. It was Damian after all, and he would always want to make you happy.

I had to research a bit to do this request accurately. Thankfully, my best friend is non-binary and they helped me a lot when it came to writing this. So, everything that the reader feels is based off what my friend said it felt like when they came out. I feel like being inclusive is really important and I tried my hardest to make this decent, but I'm not sure if I am the best account to go to for this sort of thing! By no means am I saying to not request anything like this again, I would just rather someone get a really well written oneshot instead of something that might not be as accurate. Let me know if you guys liked this (since it's something new!) and if you have any critics I am willing to hear those out too!

[rwrbmovie]

RE: casting

Quotes from interviews on #RWRBMovie about the casting process

This post will be updated as content is released

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Last updated: August 9

From Vanity Fair

Then there was the matter of finding his leads, roles that have been fancast since the book’s 2019 release. For Henry, a man born to privilege and often spiteful of that fact, López sought someone who would “protect” the character. “Without realizing it, Nick taught me that I was in search of someone who would take care of Henry,” he says. “It felt very safe putting Henry into Nick’s hands.” As for Alex, the rowdier of the two, it was about casting an actor who could “transform himself” over the film’s two-hour run time. “Taylor’s a little more like Alex than Nick is like Henry. But Taylor is not as much of a human cannonball as Alex is,” López says. “And to watch Taylor in the audition process become that reckless and energetic creature was actually really, really fun.” Now, he says, “I genuinely cannot imagine any other two actors other than these two playing these parts.”

From People

Of Perez and Galitzine, López, 46, says, "They each embody their characters so perfectly while also working effortlessly as a team." "Nick brings a tremendous amount of vulnerability and dignity to Henry, and Taylor turned himself into a human cannonball in order to bring Alex to life."

From Deadline

Casting was something “perfectly within my purview as a director. … I know the rules, don’t worry,” López assured. He spent five months “auditioning hundreds of actors” searching for his two leads. “I kept seeing them, then I’d go to other people. Then I’d go back to them. It was also important for me to see as many actors as possible … especially for the role of Alex. “You don’t get many opportunities to cast a lead role in a studio film with a Latin actor, so I wanted to make sure that I saw everyone that I possibly could, mostly from the United States and throughout Latin America and Mexico,” the director and writer now relocated from New York to London told me. “I saw hundreds of guys for this role, which was heartening actually. It was Taylor, once I met Taylor. Then it was putting them together in a chemistry read and praying that they had chemistry.”

From What to Watch

I think there’s a point at which, once a project starts to actually get some forward momentum, then it starts to become a lot easier to convince people to be in the movie, and by the time we got Uma, I was like ‘great, who else wants to join the fun wagon?!’ Stephen took no convincing whatsoever, that was such a happy thing for me, because I thought ‘well, there’s a very slim chance he’s going to say yes to this’, you know, I’m sure he’s busy, I’m sure he’s not going to want to do it, it’s too perfect, and then he said yes straight away, and I felt so happy."  "And then Sharon, I honestly was just like — when I knew I get to cast a fictional UK prime minister, I was like ‘well, let’s go for the most hopeful version of what we’d love to see in a prime minister’, and when they asked me to think about it, I was like ‘oh! Sharon D Clarke — ask her if she’d come in and do a day for us’. It’s the same thing with Sharon as with Uma, the first thing I said for each of the President and the Prime Minister was ‘would you vote for that actor to actually do that job?’ I can’t vote in the UK, but if I could, I would vote for Sharon!"

From Tatler

The character was originally supposed to be a queen – 'Queen Mary' is the head of the family in McQuiston's book – yet none of the grand dames were interested when casting calls went out. 'I think, at that stage of Her Majesty's life, none of the Dame Judi Denches, Helen Mirrens and Julie Andrewses of the world wanted to do something like that,' says López. Fry, however, jumped at the chance. 'He said yes right away,' says López, pausing to laugh. 'Of course, he is friends with His Majesty. I never asked him what he thought the King might think of Stephen playing a fictional British king.' Perhaps Fry's friendship with the monarch is why he was so well-versed in decorum and royal protocol. 'He didn't even have to be told,' says López. 'He just rattled it off. He was like, "Can I say this instead, Matthew?" I was like, "Yes, fine, you're Stephen Fry, you can do whatever you want."

From TV Times

López says he was delighted to not only get Hollywood star Uma Thurman to play President Ellen Claremont, but also to persuade Stephen Fry to portray the British king! 'It was really important to create a lot of daylight between the fictional royal family in the movie and the actual royals - they aren't the Windsors, ours are completely made up,' says Matthew, 46. 'But when Stephen walked on set in that double-breasted suit, I think everyone in the cast and crew stood to attention!'

From PinkNews

Due to the ongoing Hollywood strike, neither actor is able to promote or discuss the film, but López describes, Galitzine as more “robust, less fragile” than Henry, while Perez is quieter, “a lot less rambunctious” than his character. But it all still worked. “I couldn’t have asked for better or more different actors than the ones that I got,” López raves. “I felt Henry was this very fragile thing, and I placed him inside Nick’s hands, and Nick cared for him throughout the process. Taylor really turned himself into a human cannonball in order to become Alex.”

From Observer

So much pressure [to get casting right] that I actually told the producers that I wouldn’t make the film if we didn’t find the right Alex. It wasn’t enough to find the almost right Alex. I had to find the perfect Alex. I think that Taylor is pretty much anybody’s idea of a perfect Alex Claremont Diaz. We saw quite literally hundreds and hundreds of young actors for the role of Alex alone, over the course of about five months. I spent Christmas 2021 looking at audition tapes. Then I met Taylor, first from his audition tape, and then on a series of Zooms I did with him, auditioning him once while I had a really bad case of COVID. He kept reemerging. He wouldn’t be denied. It became very undeniable that it was going to be Taylor. 

We were running the casting process simultaneously. The cast is pretty much split between Americans and Brits, so the first decision I made was a British casting director for the British roles and an American casting director for the American roles. Bit of a divide and conquer. So they were they were happening simultaneously. Nick was very much in the mix around the same time that Taylor became in the mix.  I had photos of all candidates up on a big wall. You want to pair them up and you look at the pictures together, which is the most rudimentary form of a chemistry read. Nick and Taylor visually made sense to me right on the big board. Once we got them on a Zoom together, they were undeniable. It was incredibly important that we find the right people and I wasn’t at all certain we would. Once we found two leads who were stunningly perfect, not just individually but together, I knew we had a movie and it was only up to me to screw it up, which I hope I didn’t.

From OutSFL

I adore her [Uma Thurman]. She was so very happy to be in this movie, which was so wonderful. She really understood Ellen. She and I had so many wonderful conversations about her before production. I involved her in a lot of costume design decisions. She was really wanting to understand this woman holistically. That scene was just so beautiful. By the time we shot it, she and Taylor had really bonded, and they had shot a lot of scenes together at that point. It was the loveliest, warmest environment on set. I mean, it was a very lovely, warm environment on set every day, but that day you can just see in that scene the genuine affection that these two actors have for one another. It was real.

I've always been such a fan of his [Stephen Fry] and really admired him greatly. We had had some sort of communication through other people over the years because he had seen “The Inheritance” in London. He got word to me, through our producers, how much he loved it. I had been working at one point on another film that I thought I was going to make, and when he found out that I was working on it, he was like. “I’d really love to be a small part in it if you have anything.” But I never talked to him and never met him. When this role came around [laughs], we thought, “Let's see if he really means what he says!” He jumped at it! It didn't take long at all for him to say, “Yes.” That was fun. Just to watch him and work with him is just a great thrill and a pleasure. It was for everybody. Everybody was really excited the day that he came on set.

From The Fresno Bee

“We spent about five months casting this film and looking at hundreds and hundreds of actors for these parts,” said López. When López first met Chicago native Zakhar Pérez and British actor Galitzine, “they both really, really stood out very quickly as real possibilities.” That chemistry sparked when the two met via Zoom for a script reading. “It took a long time to find them, but it was very obvious that they were our guys.”

From Windy City Times

Taylor is just a dream. He's a special person and a wonderful performer. He understood Alex implicitly. He's very different than Alex, and is shy. There's a sweetness to Taylor. He could turn himself into a human cannonball. I love that guy, and there is something about him that is so warm. It is hard to take your eyes off of him. - Matthew López

Uma came in so prepared and so eager to be there. She was happy to be a part of it and we just had the best time with her. It was a very happy set and that is thanks to Uma in many ways, too. She worked with one of the best dialect coaches in the business and she came to me with that. It was so much fun. - Matthew López

She's [Rachel Hilson] the greatest, and so much fun to work with. She had a very specific idea about who Nora was, and we got to play around with the character. She's a special talent. - Matthew López

[hades-10397]

31 Days of Harringrove

Prompt: A Very Gay Christmas Party

It’s been a couple of months since Steve had his bi awakening. Thanks to Robin he finally unlocked why he could never get Billy Hargrove off his mind. Once he put two and two together it’s didn’t really make him feel any better. First guy Steve has a thing for and he’s straight. Go figure. His mood started to get worse the more he saw Billy. When he would drop by the video store to pick a movie out for some ‘date’. Or when he would drop Max off at his place for dnd. No matter what he did. Billy was always on his mind.

“Alright Steve this is just sad now.” Robin leaned over the counter with her head resting in her hand. “I don’t want to hear it Miss “I’m playing the long game with Heather”. Steve has been talking about how he’s had to see Billy more recently with the holidays. The party saw each other for Halloween, Thanksgiving and now with Christmas in a few days its none stop hang out sessions at Steve’s. He loves having them over but this was getting to hard for him. “Hey I have a great idea!” He sighed and stopped what he was doing.

“And what pray tell is that.” He faces her with his hands on his hips. She started to smile and he knew that smile. It always got them into trouble. Before Steve could say anything she already started. “There’s a gay club in Indianapolis that’s having a Christmas night tonight. We should go! Get your mind off of Billy and mine off of Heather.” He rolled his eyes. “Come on it’s a win win situation!” He started walking away not wanting to hear anything else. “Robin I don’t want to forget Billy… it’s not like that. Plus I would have to drive all the way there.”

It was almost time to close the store when someone walked in. “Welcome to Family Video.” Steve greeted the customers but didn’t look at who it was. He just kept sweeping hoping the day would end. “Well don’t get all excited Harrington.” He sighed cursing under his breathe. “Hello Hargrove. What can I do you for.” He learned the broom up against the walk close by and put his attention on Billy. “Oh you know the usual. Hot date. need a movie to set the mood.” He was smirking at Steve. “You know the drill don’t ya Pretty boy.” He rolled his eyes and continued to check Billy out. “Alright now get out so I can close. I want to actually go home at some point”

Once Billy left Steve rushed to lock the doors and ran to the back. Robin looked up surprised at him. “Alright let’s go to that club.” She got excited and talk about what they were going to wear. About an hour later changed and ready they made there way to the big city. The drive was fun singing back and forth and listen to Robin talk about how many girls she going to pull tonight. Steve didn’t know how he honestly felt about this but he was tired of feeling this way. He deserved one night to not think about Billy.

They parked and made their way in the club. “Holy shit.” They spoke at the same time taking everything in. The only thing lighting up the club were Christmas lights and different trees in corners. It looked amazing. Garland on just about anything and … were those men dress up as Mrs. Claus? “Let’s go get drinks!” Robin pulled him towards the bar. There was a very shirtless man with a Santa hat on taking orders. She ordered some fruity drink and he got a water since he would be driving back.

They talked at the bar for awhile till some girl got Robins attention. She smiled and he wished her luck. Now he was all alone. He’s never really been in this kind of scene so he just stayed near the bar making sure he could see Robin. “Well well well would you look at that.” He knew that voice. Steve turned around and gasped when he met familiar eyes. “ Am I dreaming or is that you Harrington.” Billy smirked. “Billy? What are you doing here.” He watched Billy run his fingers through his hair. “Same as you Pretty boy. Tryin to find a guy to show me a good night.”

“A guy?… Wait! Are you gay?” Steve didn’t mean to sound so surprised but.. it was Billy they were talking about he’s like the straightest guy in town! Billy sighed. “Dude I thought I was being obvious. I came into the store almost everyday to see you.” Wait what. He came in all those times to see him? “But you said you had dates!” “Yeah because it was a believable excuse to see you dumbass.” Steve looked at him like he was speaking in a different language. “Look let’s go out for a smoke. I’ll tell the bartender to watch band girl for you.”

They made there way out side. Billy handed Steve a cigarette and lit it for him then did the same for himself. “So really.. all this time you liked me.” Steve took a drag pacing around. “Yep. Didn’t know if you were in to guys too or I would have made my move already.” He was watching Steve awhile he spoke. God they wasted so much time. He took another drag then flicked the cigarette to the ground. He walked right up into Billy’s space and kissed him. He felt Billy be surprised by the act but made a smooth recovery by bringing his hands to the sides of his face. Steve pulled him closer by his shirt groaning as the kiss became more heated.

“I made my move. You make yours.”

[beea-idiot56]

Chapter 4 - I thought this was supposed to be practice!

What happens when a person who has been diagnosed with extreme anxiety and had "retired" from volleyball finds themselves coaching a team full of guys who are a little too loud for their comfort(especially the ginger)?

Slow burn? ✔️ smut?❌ they/them pronouns?✔️ forced?❌

Childe x Reader Volleyball AU Wattpad Link Prologue link(Tumblr)

It had not been long since Y/N had started  practicing with the team, a month at most. With about 15 practices under their belt they felt well accustomed to the team. Sure they were not buddies with any of them, but they were able to joke and speak without their heart rate spiking and their hands starting to shake. It was a nice addition to their schedule as well. Between coaching young players, this team, and college, they didn't have any time to focus on their anxiety, it was actually really nice to get out of the house too. Plus they'd never know when Childe would suddenly invite the entire team to a “feeding frenzy”, it was just Childe paying for a bunch of snacks and all of the team would get together and play some sand volleyball or watch movies. It was a really nice addition to their schedule, and it was fun to hang out with people that werent teachers or someone complaining about homework. 

Y/n had been asleep, dreaming of nothing in particular, the much needed rest recharging their body and filling them with strength. That was until they heard a loud ringtone from beside them, a grumble escaping their lips as they lifted their head from their pillow just enough to open their eyes barely. Their hand found its way to the phone on the bedside table in the small dorm they stayed in, they lifted the side of the phone to see the contact “Barbatos - Venti - VB” with the photo of venti plastered on top. They grumbled and clicked the “answer” button, bringing the phone to their ear. 

“...h-hello?” they mumbled, their voice not awake just yet. Their eyes traveled to their clock beside their bed, 5am. Venti woke y/n up. At 5am. This man better have a damned good reason for it too. 

“Ah Y/n! Sorry if I woke you but there's some urgent business to attend to!” Venti spoke, how was he so awake and happy at 5am? This man must be made of sunshine and rainbows, “you see, last night I got an email from the Tsaritsa. Apparently she would like her team, the Harbingers, and our team to have a practice game against each other. Something about preparing for tournaments and not wanting her team to disappoint her. I don’t know, but what I do know is that I accepted it and well, I need my co-coach to come help me coach dear Kaeya!”

Y/n listened, their eyes slowly opening as their brain struggled to process what nonsense Venti had just spewed through his mouth at the speed of light. Y/n took a few moments to think before speaking, “what time?”  “oh… ah hee hee…. 8am.”  “A. hee. Hee.” Y/n repeated, taking a second before each syllable. They felt anger run through their veins. Venti contacted them about coaching a game that's in THREE HOURS. Y/n silently prayed to archons to give them the strength not to bitch slap venti. They heard nervous laughter on the other side of the line, “I'll be there, but you're praying for my coffee”

“Deal! Just send me your order '' Venti spoke before hanging up the phone. Y/n sighed and sat up in bed. Their dog at their feet(cat if you're allergic and a fish on the bed stand if you're allergic to both 😭) looked up at them. “A/N, help me.” y/n mumbled and the animal simply looked up at them before turning away to go back to sleep. 

Y/n pushed open the door to the building that the team played and practiced at. The sounds of shoes squeaking and yelling greeted them in an empty hallway. The lights were still off and the sun was barely over the horizon in the long glass windows that lined the hallway. Usually this place would be packed with people, but it was a Sunday and most kids were hungover at their dorms or off at work, maybe even a church of some kind. Mondstat was always big on its churches, The Grand Cathedral being right down the street from the college as well. Y/n tended to stay away from them, even if they were religious, there were a lot of people in the cathedral at all times. And that always felt really awkward and spiked their heart rate. 

Y/n appreciated the quietness of the hallway, they stopped outside the gym doors, the glass square in them giving them a preview as to what they were about to enter. The team peppered between each other while Venti sat and planned out something on a sheet of paper, what Y/n assumed was a lineup and game plan for the practice game. They glanced to the side of them to look out the window, they watched as birds sung from high above on the wires that lined the sky line. They smiled a little bit at it before looking back, their eyes catching the sight of someone standing off by the net. He stared back, the two caught eyes. Childe smiled and waved and y/n waved and smiled back. The two made eye contact for a moment or two before Childe waved them in, and y/n opened the door. 

Childe had jogged up to the door and smiled, “ didn't know you were gonna come today!” he beamed, like a golden retriever, y/n could practically see the tail wagging behind him. “Of course I would! I gotta make sure Kaeya is improving, plus I'm always here to see how the team plays. I love watching yall” y/n smile and looked up to Childe. Even though y/n wasn't exactly short/tall, they still had to crane their neck up high to look at the Childe's eyes. He was the tallest player on the team and was also annoying and wore pretty good shoes that bumped his height up another few inches. However, y/n didn't mind. Probably their favorite thing about Childe was that he didn't make eye contact uncomfortable. 

Y/n's most important way of conveying that they are listening or that they are happy to talk to a person is when they make eye contact, they make an effort to look people in the eye whenever they talk. And childe was probably their favorite when it came to this. Sure the rest of the team returned the favor, but none of them looked at y/n like they were the greatest player in the world, none of the team looked at them without any hesitation or without thinking they could possibly make any faults. Y/n always felt as though even though they might fuck up, completely screw over a point, that Childe would still look at them and cheer them on. It also helped that the childe had the prettiest eyes in the team. Kaeya had actual stars but it wouldn't compare to the beautiful blue that laced Child's eyes. 

Childe draped an arm across their shoulders and pulled them close, walking to the middle of the court, a loud voice booming from him, “did you guys hear that! y/n said they love watching us play!” He cheered and the rest of the team laughed a little as well. 

“Since that's the case let's give them the greatest practice game we've ever played!” Childe cheered once again and the rest of the team responded with a ‘hell yeah!’ or ‘woop woop!’.  Y/n smiled and shoved Childe off of them lightly, “Alright get to practicing, and let go of me, you're already sweaty!” y/n laughed a little and childe rubbed Y/n’s hair as they walked away, earning the bird in return. 

Y/n plopped down on the bleachers next to Venti and set their stuff down. They looked over his shoulders slightly, he had some paperwork out and then the line up. He quickly closed his binder, however, and looked up at y/n. 

“Your mere presence brings the team to excitement, Y/n. if i were you id feel honored, it's hard for me to even hype them up that much. It's usually the captain's job” he smiled, a wink following his words. y/n just laughed and shook their head, however. “I'm not that special. I think they are just happy to have a new face around.” they waved off venti who had rolled his eyes at their bashfulness. 

y/n stared at the team who peppered, they were all relaxed. Laughing at each other for stupid mistakes and encouraging each other when they made a good save, a feeling of longing returned to their stomach, they could basically see themself standing there. 

Y/n stood at the ten foot line, they were idly standing waiting for the ball to be passed up. Lumine stood from across the court right on the edge of the line. They both had their jerseys on and their knee pads were on their ankles. It was clear none of them meant business. Lumine threw the ball up high and y/n stepped under it, pushing it back to lumine. she passed it back and y/n went to go hit it back but a ball hit their ankle and they accidently snapped their wrist too much. Y/n had originally began to laugh a little,  “My bad, my bad” they smiled and shook their wrist a bit as Lumine dove for the ball, scraping their knees slightly.  “My gosh youre so fucking worthless.” lumine hissed at y/n, causing them to stop. Their laughter died in their throat. They tried to laugh a  little, waiting for Lumine to say ‘it's just a joke! Relax!’ but it never came. Lumine threw the ball at the floor and walked away to go pepper with someone else. Leaving y/n alone, holding a ball, and wondering why they even stayed on this team…

“You should go pepper with one of them, childe looks like he's kinda butting into xiao’s and diluc’s passing.'' Venti spoke absentmindedly, looking at the y/n who had been zoned out while looking at the court. The words snapped them out of their trance and they looked over at venti,  “Oh, nah. I don't think he'd want to anyways.” they laughed, trying to persuade venti not to make them go pepper without actually saying it. They didn't want to pepper, they wanted to play. Not get that small taste just for it to be snatched out of their grasp. Like a window at the top of an isolation cell.  “Oh he would love it! Here I'll call him over! CHILDE! Get over here and pepper with y/n!” Venti yelled ad y/n tried to wave their hands to say no but Childe had already started running over with a ball in his hands. “Of course! C'mon Y/n!” he smiled , waving them up. y/n sighed and took a sip of the coffee that venti had gotten them. They looked up at Childe and there he was again, making eye contact as always. Not with a judging look. But one of excitement. ‘He's not like that, Y/n. Just go pepper, you'll be fine’ they spoke to themselves and stood up. They positioned themself on the ten foot line, so much like how they had done before. Childe threw the ball up and they positioned themself under the ball, setting it high and just like how Lumine liked her sets. Childe took a step forward and set it back to them, but a ball rolled over and bumped against y/n's ankle causing them to stutter step and snap their wrist too much. Childe dove forward to the ball,  skidding his knees slightly. His knee pads were on his ankles. The ball came back to y/n on the floor and he laid on the floor on his back. y/n expected a yell from him but soon he started to laugh. And y/n laughed a little as well. 

“Haha my bad!” he spoke before hopping back onto his feet. y/n picked up the ball and stared at him. He didn't stalk away. He stayed. Childe stayed. He made eye contact. Y/n hesitated, not knowing what to do with themself.  “Cmon, throw the ball up! That was my bad. You don't have to stare at me like I'm going to yell at you!” he laughed a little, drawing y/n out of their trance. Y/n smiled, and threw the ball up. 

Peppering and warming up continued as the clock hit 7:55. Venti had turned from paperwork to drills and started running the team through different exercises. y/n on the sidelines coaching Kaeya as well. Giving small pointers here and there, ‘turn your hands in’, ‘center your stomach’, ‘don't jump, but use your legs’. Overall it has been pretty effective. And y/n got to watch the boys play from a new perspective. However there hadn't been any sighting of the harbingers, until the door opened. 

The team stopped and all turned to look at the door. Venti had already started rolling the ball cart over to the side of the court where the team was going to be practicing. He had the team line up then brought y/n to go stand in front of all of the team by the ventis side. In they walked. A team of six, with one manager, Signorita. 

“Welcome! Ah, it's such a pleasure to see you again, Signorita. Is the Tsarista not here once again?” Venti spoke, yet there was a strain in his voice and his hands stood awkwardly at his sides.  “Ah Barbatos, you know better. The Tsaritsa is off doing her own thing, preparing new things for us to face. I'm stepping in as coach for this game, but I doubt I will need to… Say, whos this lovely face, i feel as though i've seen them before…'' Signorita spoke, her voice as cold as ice but her intentions burning through y/n and venti. y/n smiled awkwardly,  “I'm Y/n L/n, I'm here to help coach.” they spoke, not knowing how much venti wanted them to disclose.  “Awh such a sweet name you are simply so sweet.” Signorita smiled, her arm crossing over her stomach and her other elbow propping up against the forearm. She looked fit, she probably was, actually. 

She was. Y/n recognized her now. This was Signorita, she was the setter for the Harbingers female team before she had a nasty accident and had to retire to the side lines and benches. Y/n shivered remembering the accident. They remember witnessing it from the other side of the net. Signorita had practically thrown herself to the ground to get a ball up, but had landed on her wrist, completely shattering it. Y/n remembered watching Signorita trying to shrug it off, and how she left the court after her team, and the Tsaritsa, had dragged her off. What was worse was that y/n remembered lumine making direct eye contact with y/n and saying ‘we wouldn't let you off this court’. 

“Oh! I remember you, you were the dear setter for the Khaenri’ah team. How precious you were. I remember how terrible that team treated you." Signorita smiled cutely before their eyes glanced over the entirety of the gym, then landing on someone behind y/n. “Oh and you, the silly little traitor.” she smiled before scoffing, y/n heard a small laugh come from behind them, they looked over their shoulder to see childe laughing and scratching his neck and staring at the ground. Traitor? 

“Oh but the past is the past!” she smiled and nodded to the court across from the team, “we will only take five or so minutes to warm up, then we can get right to playing. Would we like an up-ref? I would hate for the game to go… sour.” she smiled, a sinister glean behind her words. However, Venti smiled and shook his head. 

“We’re sharing this court for this time, we shouldn't need a up-ref, it's not as though we will be kicking the other team from under the net, will we?” Venti spoke, his eyes staring right through Signorita. She shook her head and smiled, however the smile didn't exactly give y/n any ease in the overwhelming feeling of fear that traced their stomach. The Harbingers then bowed behind their manager and walked over to the court they would be playing on and began to warm up.

Childe gathered up the team and y/n went to go Supervise but venti tugged on their arm. They looked at him, “y/n. I know this is easier said than done, but don't let Signorita get in your head.” he spoke, his voice as old as ice. Sending shivers down y/ns spine. 

“I wouldn't do that, I'm not even playing… it's just a practice game right?”  y/n spoke nervously, they had been trying to remind themself it was a practice game, but the serious beef between the two teams was starting to get under their skin. “Not to the harbingers. They fight hard, they play dirty, and they tend to not hold punches. The coaches play mind games you would not believe, just, don’t talk to her. She’ll use you to get into the team's head. Ignore her and let me do the talking, alright?” Venti spoke. Y/n nodded and he smiled before patting her on the back and pushing her into the group of players. The team welcomed her and Childe brought her under his and Diluc's arms. 

Y/n stared at the ground, feeling nervousness brimming their body as the team talked between themselves they all spoke of what to do, strategizing and planning. y/n couldn't listen however, their eyes focused on the ground and their hands busy picking at the skin around their fingernails. It wasn't until the team dispersed to get water and do the last bit of warming up that Childe addressed them head on. 

“Hey you good?” he asked, placing a soft hand on their shoulder. they looked up and smiled, they could be nervous all they wanted but why should they bring down the team with their anxiety.  “Yeah I'm fine!” y/n smiled, but it felt strained and the wrinkles did not form around their eyes. Childe stared into their eyes, but y/n couldn't meet them. They looked anywhere but childe. Like the sign behind his head, something about the sponsor of the school, it was another nameless company that promised something but never delivered.  “Look me in the eye,” childe spoke, drawing their attention back to him, “and tell me youre fine.” he finished his sentence. Y/n gulped and looked him in the eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed, and since when did both of his hands find their ways to y/n’s shoulders? Y/n opened their mouths to say something, but they couldn't find the words in their throat. It simply died out.  “So, traitor huh?” they “masterfully” changed the topic, childe stared at them. A chuckle escaped his mouth and he shook his head as he let the fact they completely changed the topic slide.  “Yeah, I used to be on The Harbingers, but transferred over to the Teyvats when I was sent to Liyue for a few weeks. The team was hella toxic anyways.” he spoke, letting his hands drop from y/ns shoulders. Y/n released a breath they didn't know they were holding.  “Damn, I didn't realize they were that uptight. Well then, I'm a traitor by their standards too, to the Khaenri’ans. We can be traitors together.” y/n smiled, meeting his eyes. He laughed, wrinkles showed up by his eyes and y/n noticed the freckles placed across his cheeks. 

“Cool! We're partners in crime!” he laughed, running a hand through his hair, dischelving it.  “Right! You're the one that causes the arson, I'm the cool minded one!” they smiled and 

Childe placed a dramatic facial expression on his face, he gasped. 

“I can be cool minded!” he tried to defend himself but y/n nearly laughed a little.  “Can be, won't be. I have too much anxiety to charge into anything like a chicken without its head, you charge right in. which is why most of your hits go into the net '' they giggled as Childe fell back, his hand laid against his forehead and his other hand dramatically placed on his heart.  “You wound me, Y/n, you wound me!” he basically yelled and y/n laughed and reached up to rub the top of his hair.  “You'll be alright, maybe if you play really good today i'll take back what i said and you can be the cool headed partner in crime” they laughed and he nodded his head enthusiastically and smiled,  “Bet!” 

The teams lined up on the courts, neither worrying about subbing in the liberos or where they stood, it wasn't until venti offered first serve to the harbingers and gave the ball over that the entire team started to get serious. They all got into their positions and y/n glanced over all their faces. They all looked as hard as rocks, none of them even blinking. 

Kaeya pulled up Diluc first, over on the outside position of the court, childe stood in the middle of the ten foot line, chongyun pulled back as a DS over on the right. In the middle back was Xinqui, the second best passer besides xiao, who was placed next to Xinqui.

“Oh! I guess we need a whistle. Here, lovely Y/n would you do the honors” Venti spoke smiling, Y/n nodded and shuffled around in their bag before pulling out a whistle. They bit on the silicon cover and whistled, making the movements to declare that Pierro, the setter and the first server, could serve. He nodded and threw the ball up high in front of him, making an approach before jumping up and hitting the ball, sending it over the net. 

From there the play went quickly. Xiao made a perfect pass up to Kaeya, who set it to childe, who hit the ball and it collided with the blockers on the other side of the net, who were Dottore and Pantalone. It bounced off their hands and back into their side of the court. When Punciella passed up, Pierro set it up, and Scaramouche made an approach, hitting the ball. Childe, however, was there and slammed the ball back into the ground with a block of his own. The team cheered and crowded around him, the first point of the game. To the Teyvats. 

The game continued, both coaches giving remarks of improvement to the team and the team taking them and charging forward with pride. Y/n especially had a lot to say to Kaeya, who was starting to get frustrated with them by the middle of the set. 

“I know Y/n!” Kaeya yelled as Y/n had told him to center his body. Y/n stutter stepped backwards and they became quiet. Venti glanced at them, a sigh escaping his mouth.  “Don't mind Kaeya, he gets angry quickly.” Venti spoke, patting y/n on the back, but this did not go unnoticed by Signorita on the other side of the net.  “Awh, is Kaeya just like the other khaenri’ahns? Chasing Y/n off the court? How sad…” she remarked awfully loud. Kaeya stared at her, his mouth wide agape. He started to speak but Venti had already shut down the conversation with a whistle. Scaramouche was now serving, and he had already sent the ball over. Xiao passed it up to Kaeya, who set it to childe, who then hit it over the net, maybe a bit too far over the net. Okay he hit Signorita in the head.   “Childe!” y/n had yelled, their hands covering their mouth. They weren't going to lie, they really wanted to laugh right now, but their fear for what was about to conspire had held them back. Venti on the other hand had begun laughing loudly.  “Ah! And so the Karma continues!” he laughed loudly, Signorita looked absolutely astonished and she looked at Venti like he had just kicked her in the stomach. 

“Oh! So you're laughing at your player who just hit the opposing coach in the head! You're not even going to attest to how bad of a hit that was! Such terrible coaching..” she had scoffed and The Harbingers all kinda just, stood there, not really sure if they should laugh or stand up for the manager. 

Childe laughed and shrugged, “maybe don't cause drama in someone else's team if you don't want karma to hit you upside the head. Especially when you mess with the two greatest setters. I mean you can't even compare to ours!” Childe had mumbled the last two sentences but the team laughed and clapped him on the back. Kaeya and y/n both bashfully smiling to themselves. 

Signorita scoffed loudly, “time out” she had practically yelled and the teams jogged to the sides of the court to talk to their coaches. 

Kaeya looked at y/n as he approached before nodding to the side, they nodded and stepped to the side. “Sorry for yelling at you, you were just trying to help me improve.” he spoke, running a hand through his bangs that had been tangled up, his pony tail resting on his back. 

“No you're alright, I was probably a little overbearing, I'm sorry as well. I just-” they sighed, not knowing how to put their words, “i don't want to make excuses, but rather explain my perspective. When I played for the Khaenri’ahns, they all really hated me, and so I had to push myself to absolute perfection, and subconsciously I'm putting that perfection on you in this game. You don’t deserve that, especially since you aren't even a setter really…” they sighed and he smiled before pulling them into a side hug. 

“You're the greatest coach I've ever had, y/n. Thanks for pushing me” he smiled. 

Coaches and players, it's a relationship that could either break or make a game, a player, a coach. Being understanding and recognizing faults in each other was always the greatest thing the two people could do, no matter what relationship they were in, but in a relationship that was built on a game of mistakes. A game that people use mistakes to get ahead of the other team, it was always important to admit when someone was wrong. So Y/n taking that first step, taking that step to explain why they had been pushing harder than needed, that first step broke down every wall between the two of them. From setter to setter, setter to hitter, player to coach, person to person, the two now knew they could count on the other to admit their imperfections and be able to grow from them. 

However, timeouts are only 30 seconds long. So the team dispersed back onto the court or to the bench to get a few more drinks of water. And the other side lined up once again. Venti whistled as y/n walked to stand beside him. Scaramouche Got into position before serving, and Xiao passed the ball with ease. Kaeya set the ball perfectly to Diluc right behind him, who went up and hit the ball as though there hadn't been a single blocker there, with absolute confidence. Hitting it to the side of the court, Scaramuche barely picked the ball up with a pancake, however the fight was useless and the ball shanked off to the side. None of the team was able to bring it back into the court far enough to send it back over to the other side of the court. 

The teyvats cheered and gathered around clapping and high fiving each other. They then rotated, childe giving high fives to razor who went in for him for backrow. Childe ran over to the sidelines and y/n picked up his water bottle and handed it to him, 

“Thanks” he smiled, taking it from them. He drank from the water bottle, looking at the court from the side of his eye as y/n observed the next serve. The play continued at a fast pace just as usual. When the point was over Childe talked,  “You okay?” childe asked, putting his water bottle down.  “Hm? Oh are you talking to me?” y/n asked, jumping a little not really expecting to be talked to.  “Yeah, those were some pretty rough words from Signorita.” he said looking out onto the court as the next point began.  “Oh, yeah. Its worse for Kaeya im sure” 

“Yeah but Kaeya is a lot more confident then you” “Wow. thanks.”

“No! I didn't mean it like that-” childe stuttered slightly, gaining a laugh from y/n and they pushed him a little,  “I'm kidding with you. You're not wrong, it just sucks to hear it admitted out loud. But yeah I'm fine.” they spoke, staring out at the court, razor made a nice save and y/n clapped and whooped for him.  “... are you sure?” childe asked, his eyes now finding their way to y/n's face. Have y/ns eyelashes always been so long?

“Since when were you so worried for me? I'm just a coach” y/n laughed a little, but the humor wasn't there and it felt strained, like y/n was debating whether or not to say something. “And friend.” he spoke, placing a hand on their shoulder. “... oh”

The plays continued, getting progressively more and more heated until it was the last few points. The team had been fighting this last set for a few points now, up to 26-27, Teyvats. Both teams were exhausted, both were falling to dirty tricks, both were out of time outs. Y/n had been watching from the sidelines with progressively more anxiety. They had to start pacing to keep themselves calm, the rallies were getting longer. It was like neither libero was willing to let a single ball drop even if they had to sacrifice a future with healthy knees and elbows. 

“COME ON” y/n yelled, clapping their hands as Xiao went up to serve. He had a wicked serve. It was a float serve, but hard. It cut through the sky but would drop at any time, making it unpredictable and hard to track. But Captiano was there, every single time. He always got the ball up to the front row. And would be back against the back line seconds after ready for blocks and hits. Both teams were fighting hard, and neither were ready to give up. Kaeya went to set, but his hands were not positioned correctly, and it fell through them and went straight to the ground. 

y/n had never seen a person more angry then Kaeya in that very moment. He looked as though he wanted to kill, and passing the ball under the net with a  slam into the ground only echoed their thoughts. Y/n and venti looked at each other, both knowing what they needed to do, but not knowing if they should do it. Y/n sucked in a  breath, preparing themself before pulling the cord. 

“Xinqui, go in and set for KAeya. Now.” y/n said pushing him forward.  “Oh! Okay-” he stuttered before running onto court, telling Kaeya what to do. Kaeya looked up from Xinqui and made short eye contact with y/n, his eyes as hard as stone and his mouth pulled to a thin line, his hands clenching at his side. He jogged off the court but shouldered y/n on his way to the bench.  “Hey! Don't take your anger out on them!” Venti had lectured, but it fell short because Kaeya wasn't even listening at this point. He was looking off somewhere else with his arms crossed. Throwing a hissy fit basically. 

The next points went quickly, with teyvat just barely losing to some hard blocks and sloppy hits thanks to the change. The team congratulated the other and they all said their goodbyes. The teyvats didn't look too discouraged luckily,  “You all did wonderful!” Venti spoke proudly, he always did that. Even though the team knew they could do better, Venti encouraged them. Maybe that's why he was one of the best coaches… Venti gave them all a run down and told them when to come back for practice next since the team usually practiced in the afternoon. Meanwhile, y/n gathered their things and began to get ready to leave to go get themselves lunch. However, as they approached the door they felt a tap on their shoulder. 

“Why'd you take me out?” The questions were simple, but it was hard. There would always come a point in time when even the greatest of friends would be split in a decision that neither would be able to say was wrong nor right. 

You, yes you reader, may be wondering why as the author I decided to completely change a course of action in the middle of this chapter as the characters, who just had a bonding moment, have a moment of anger. To you I say, you have not been a player who's been pulled out by a coach who you trusted. If you have, then you would understand. 

“I thought you needed a break, you were obviously frustrated and your anger caused bad mistakes that wouldn't happen if you were cool minded. I did the best thing in that situation.” y/n spoke, they were trying not to let their anxiety take hold of their words, and switch them to put themself in the wrong. They weren't wrong, they told themself. They had every reason to take Kaeya off the court. 

“I would've gotten over it. I needed another chance.” KAeya spoke, crossing his arms, ‘closing off to any discussion.’ “You dont get more chances when the points are on line and that close. A simple mistake causes the game to change completely.” y/n spoke as calmly as possible, trying to explain their side of the situation. “So you put in a new setter? If you ask me thats a big mistake that fucked over the entire game.” his voice rose in volume and his arms uncrossed, his hand flying to the side of his body.  “Kaeya, please understand where i'm coming from-” 

“NO! Gosh you ARE a fuck up! Just like Lumine said!” Kaeya spoke, his voice had risen to a yell. y/n stutter step backwards again. They glanced around, trying to make sure no one heard this outburst. But it was useless, everyone was staring at the pair. 

They took a deep breath before making eye contact once again, “Kaeya. I want to politely ask you to take that back. I may have made a mistake, but it was in your, and the teams, best interest.” they spoke, their voice shaky now. 

“No! Because you just cost us the game! I could've pulled through. I know you think you're pushing ‘perfection’ or whatever on me, but maybe push it on yourself a bit more!” he yelled, flailing his arms dramatically. y/n let out a shattered breath, unable to control the shaking in their hands anymore. 

“KAEYA. ALBERICH.” a voice rose against his. Both of their heads snapped to the side, to see Childe with his arms at his side, his fists clenched, and his eyes glaring at Kaeya.  “Kaeya, bench, now.” Venti spoke, stepping forward and pressing a hand to Childe's shoulder.  “Why?” The word was not a question, but a rebuttal. A demand for someone to back him up, not to take y/ns side. 

“Because, we need to talk. Y/n had every reason to take you out of the game, and if I disagreed I would have stopped them. Sit. down. Kaeya alberich.” vent spoke, his words were firm, they don't have the light ease to them as normal. In return, Kaeya huffed and stomped over to the bench. Childe turned to go talk to y/n, but he found they were already gone. The door swinging closed from where they had previously been.

[hekate1308]

Present Blessings, A Drowley Advent Calendar, December 16

Masterpost

Read it on AO3

Just as he had foreseen, Dean wouldn’t take no for an answer and dragged him outside after breakfast. When he finally got him to tell him why, the reason was much more prosaic than he could have imagined.

For, as it turned out, this angel wanted to look at the Christmas lights that had been put up all of two months ago – aside from the general aesthetics, Crowley was growing more and more thankful for Halloween because it at least pushed back Christmas somewhat – and that he apparently considered beautiful, but Crowley thought a waste of electricity and time.

Dean, of course, was completely the opposite in that regard, so much so that Crowley had to remind him that he should put on a warmer jacket or people would wonder why he was walking around dressed as if he didn’t feel the cold, which of course he didn’t.

The real question was why Crowley felt the need to remind him in the first place.

Still, it was something to see him (Metaphorically, for of course it would have been possible for him to do so literally, he was sure) light up when he saw the shop windows and the street lights.

“You really do like all of this” Crowley said calmly as they strolled through the city.

“Yeah, man. I mean – just think of it. What exactly is going on here?”

“Let me see. Exhausted parents are dragging their toddlers home, lonely people wish for a connection that they are increasingly unlikely to find these days, those who have fallen thro –“

“Oh my God” and he found himself suddenly wondering whether Dean was allowed to take the Lord’s name in vain, but really, the question was mute in many ways “That’s not what I meant. Look, it’s in the middle of winter, and you’d all have the excuse to be as sad and forlorn as you could be, but instead, here you are, celebrating a loud and colorful party.”

“Actually it’s supposed to be –“

“Yeah, yeah, I know, son of God and all of that.”

“Are you going to tell me that Jesus didn’t exist?”

Dean looked shocked. “Of course not. He was a really nice guy. I liked him a lot.”

Of course he had.

“And between us, he would have had much more fun these days, when it’s a party, as supposed to all of that praying and preaching. He was fun.”

Jesus had been fun. Wasn’t that good to know.

But that was not what Crowley himself found fascinating at the moment.

“You really do love earth, don’t you?”

Dean nodded, looking around him. “Yeah. It’s – it’s really something, isn’t it?”

It was Crowley’s turn to agree, although he had to admit that he was looking at Dean rather than at the people around him.

“That reminds me. There’s a place I wanted to show you” Dean grinned and led him deeper into the city. He really seemed to know it rather well, proving he must have spent time here even before he had gotten the assignment to deal  with Crowley or at least make him acceptable in the eyes of Heaven.

Now, he still held by the fact that he shouldn’t have to be. Why, really? People made choices and dealt with them on a daily basis. He had no idea why –

And the, when Dean darted across the street because a child was crying, he realized.

He calmly crossed the street to join him, if only so he would see what was going on. It quickly transpired the little girl had lost her mummy in the mayhem that was going on all around them. Noe, Crowley had for many reasons not been around for Gavin’s very early years, but he was ready to bet he would already have been after him if he had suddenly vanished. Dean, of course, was quickly consoling her, kneeling down to her height, doing his outmost to make her comfortable. Since he didn’t want to scare her, he did his best to look around for the mother. Now, where –

A, there. A frantic woman, rather panicked-looking, holding a slightly older child’s hand. He waved, and when she looked over, he called, “Are you looking for Penny? For of course Dean had already gotten her to disclose her name.

She hurried over and thanked them profusely, although for some reason she had to tell Crowley, “Your husband is wonderful.”

Dean was busy waving Penny goodbye, thankfully.

He watched them leave, looking contemplative. But then, he had never been a child..  

“Is something wrong?”

He shook his head. “No, no, it’s just… It’s really nothing. I… John always says I get too attached.”

And jus like that, Crowley understood.

With everything he had told him about this John…

They were counting on Dean to fail.

[aloneatl4st]

Having a crush on a straight guy is consuming me alive.

Ive talked in my last post that Ive had a crush on a straight guy who for the sake of the post I named Hunter but like noone is gonna find my posts, much less him so for my ease Ill use his actual name, Ares.

Its officially been like a good 8 momths since Ive started liking him. Ive even had a lretty ugly fight with the friend also from the last post about it but we both decided its smarter to pretend like it never happened because neither one of us was seeing eye to eye.

Sometimes I wonder if its worth it to waste time crushing on a straight guy and the speed at which I answer no to myself is almost terrifyingly fast lol.

That being said Ive ynfortunately got nothing going on and have too much free time, so I spend it fabtasizing about what it would be like if he liked me back.

The problem lies with the fact that Im not cisgender but dont quite use any lavel right now, closest one that would descrobe me being genderfluid with a predominant feminine presentation (amab). As a gay boy I know he could never be interested no natter how much he keeps saying that "maybe hed give a guy a chance but probably not" and hed never be interested if I was a trans woman because I have a feeling he might not actually see me as a woman even if thats the most confortable label for myself (Im not out to anyone regarding my gender identity, everyone knows me as a gay boy).

There were nights when I prayed to a god above for him to see me as more than just a friend and I was met woth silence, not because the gids are cruel, but because Im holding onto a wish so abaurd they don't even consider it.

But oh how sweet it is to talk to him and how much I miss his presence... ever since we finished the first year of college he went to his hometown and I havent seen him in well over a month now.

Ares, please give me a chance, I dont have any relationship experience and naybe Im talking out of desperation, but Ive never felt affection for a man quite like I have for you. I swear that if you'd let me try Id treat you like the king you are and deserve to be treated as.

Youve been breaking my heart for over 8 months, and over the xoyrse of these 8 months I have forgiven you every second of the day for it.

I wish I could confess to you, just so you would hate me and you would never speak to me again. I want you to hate me so much your heart hurts so that it would be easier to get over you. Or maybe I wish that you would get a girlfriend so that I would hurt more and more and more until I broke and had to rebuild myself from the ground up, without the affection I feel for you this time.

Youre my favourite friend, Im sorry I want you like a lover