#it’s been 7 days since we’ve heard from him.. at his old age (40s) what if he’s 🙁… yknow..

[alienssstufff]

miss darktwt bdubs era. Ever since he left everything’s gone to shit..

[honeypiehotchner]

My Deep Blue Love (Tom Hiddleston x Fem!Reader) -- Soulmate AU one shot

This was 100% born out of boredom and loneliness and those damn Soulmate AU POV Tiktoks that I have seen practically 24/7 for the past WEEK on my fyp

(I’m not sure if I’ll do a part 2, rn I have no plans for it)

quick note on the technicality of this one: you lose all ability to see colors when you turn 12 and you don’t regain the ability until you meet your soulmate. but! you have to meet them in person and it has to be a mutual eye contact. pictures/videos of them don’t work, and if you just saw the back of their head or something in person, that doesn’t work either. it’s all about the shared eye contact babeyyy

small disclaimer: Brie Larson is mentioned in here and she has a wife, but that is very much only in this fic, and as far as i know Brie doesn’t have a wife irl lol (i also don’t know if she’s spoken about her sexuality at all so what i’m saying is take it with a grain of salt ok)

Summary: Everyone around you is meeting their soulmate, but you still see in black and white. You’re ready to give up, and basically have, when you lock eyes with your soulmate.

Warnings: None! Just a bit of angst, lots of fluff toward the end 

You knock on your mom’s bedroom door at 4:58am. She’s already awake, sitting up in bed, ushering you over.

With tears in your eyes, you crawl onto her bed, snuggling close to her chest.

“I don’t want to lose my colors,” you whimper.

“I know, baby,” she whispers, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay.”

You were born 12 years ago on this day at 5:08am, so in a few short minutes, when you officially turn 12 years old, all color will drain from your life.

Or the colors could stay, but that’s only if you’ve somehow already met your soulmate. And that’s rare, nearly impossible.

You squeeze your eyes shut at 5:07 and you don’t open them again until 5:10.

The colors are gone.

+++

twenty years later

You sigh heavily as you receive yet another wedding invite. You are invited to witness the official beginning of Olivia and Jeffrey’s lives together as husband and wife, soulmates for all of time.

The glitter sticks to your fingertips, tiny black dots against your skin. Your friend told you it’s gold. You barely remember what that looks like.

Lately it seems like everyone has been meeting their soulmate. Just yesterday, you were having coffee with a friend when she looked up at the girl sitting behind you, and boom.

“It’s like the world just exploded,” she had said. Colors were everywhere. She immediately left you to go talk to the girl.

You don’t blame her for that. If you had met your soulmate, you probably would’ve done the same thing. But you can’t say for sure because you don’t know.

You wouldn’t be so cynical of it all if your boyfriend of five years didn’t meet his soulmate while the two of you were out at dinner. You wish you could say that he was faking it. But it was clear from his face (and the girl’s) that he wasn’t kidding. It was real. He had met his soulmate, and it wasn’t you.

It’s never you.

You’ve had guys cut off dates before they even start, all because they didn’t see colors when they laid their eyes on you. They refuse to even be friends with you.

All anyone is doing anymore is searching for a soulmate and it’s exhausting when none of them are yours. When all of your friends see color now. When everyone assures you that it’ll happen soon. What does soon even mean?

You grab your ice cream from the freezer and fall onto the couch, flicking to whatever channel has late night shows that aren’t complete garbage.

As usual, you find yourself watching a talk show, and tonight Tom Hiddleston is one of the guests.

You’re sort of familiar with him from a few movies, but other than that, you hardly know anything about him.

“So, Tom, we’ve all been wondering what’s going on with you and Brie Larson?”

“Brie?” Tom asks, clearly shocked to hear this question. “We’re just good friends, that’s all.”

“Oh, she doesn’t make you see any colors?”

“Ah, no, actually, she does not,” Tom chuckles, but doesn’t sound sad at all, surprisingly. “Her wife does that for her, not me, I’m afraid.”

“Oh really?” The host brushes past the mention of Brie’s wife and keeps the focus on Tom, of course. “So is that true, you still don’t see color?”

Your ears perk up at the mention of someone else not seeing in color. It’s rare for anyone to talk about this on television. Most celebrities don’t talk about whether or not they’ve found their soulmate, but more often than not, those that have are quite loud about it.

“Yes, that’s true,” Tom answers. “I still see the world in a lovely black and white.”

You snort, harshly jabbing your spoon into your ice cream. Lovely. Yeah, right.

“Do you really think it’s nice? Do you not miss the colors?” The host asks.

“No, no, I do. I do,” Tom admits. “But I like to think I’ll see them when the time is right.”

You groan, going to Google to look up his age. And when you see he’s 40, you groan even louder. He’s older than you and he still hasn’t met his soulmate. That’s just depressing. How can he sound so optimistic?

“Alright, well, if there’s one thing you wish you could tell your soulmate, what would it be? Maybe they’re watching right now, you never know.”

Tom smiles wide. “Maybe, maybe, um… Oh, so many things,” Tom exhales deeply. “I guess I could be cliché and say I can’t wait to meet them and wait for me, but I think I want to say… I think I want to say I understand. It is frustrating, still seeing in black and white, but our paths will cross soon, I’m sure of it. Until then, my eyes are blue.”

Blue. Blue.

You roll your eyes. You don’t even remember what the color looks like.

+++

seven months later

“I am not going to a movie premiere. You’re insane!”

“Please!” Your friend, Catherine, cries. “You’ll love it, I swear.”

You glare at her over your coffee. “That just makes it sound like you have a trick up your sleeve.”

“I don’t,” she says. “I just want you to take advantage of this and come with us! When will you ever have the chance to go to a movie premiere again?”

She has a point. Dammit. “Touché. How did you get tickets, anyway? Please tell me you didn’t spend thousands for this.” You wouldn’t put it past her, even though you tell her not to every time before she does something like this.

“God, no, Joe surprised me with them earlier. He said he went to school with the lead.”

“Oh. Cool. Who?”

“Tom Hiddleston, I think. Have you heard of him? He’s British, but that’s about all I know. Joe just said they ran into each other the other day and reconnected.”

You stop halfway through a sip of coffee, careful to not choke on it. Slowly, you nod. “Yeah. I...I’ve seen him in a couple things.”

“Apparently, he hasn’t met his soulmate either…” Catherine trails away, raising her eyebrows at you.

You roll your eyes. “I heard,” you set your cup down. “He’s probably met them by now though since he blasted it on television like that.”

“Or he’s still searching and you’re still being too cynical.”

“You’re probably right,” you chuckle.

“Sooo, you’ll come?”

You sigh heavily. “As long as you help me pick something to wear.”

+++

“I’m regretting letting you talk me into this already,” you mutter when you nearly trip in your heels.

“Oh, hush,” Catherine swats your arm. “It’s an excuse to get dressed up and look hot for no reason. Take it.”

“Fine.”

Catherine’s soulmate, Joe, was whisked away almost as soon as the three of you stepped inside the venue by some director (you think), but he promised to return in a few minutes. Catherine told him not to worry. She’s used to him being dragged away for conversation. You can see from her face that she’s more proud of him than anything, and not at all annoyed.

Currently, you and Catherine are standing near the small bar, waiting for them to announce that it’s time to take your seats. You desperately want a drink, but part of you knows it would be a bad idea.

One glass of wine can’t hurt, though. Maybe it’ll take your mind off the pain in your feet.

You peel away from Catherine when you see Joe coming back, and you flag the bartender down quickly.

After ordering a glass of white wine, you wait patiently, wishing you had chosen a dress with sleeves. It’s fucking cold in here.

“Darling, you’re shivering, are you alright?”

Your head turns toward the smooth voice, face set and mind trying to decipher whether or not it was a sincere or creepy comment when the world quite literally explodes.

There, standing beside you, concern written all over his face, is Tom Hiddleston. Only now the concern has washed away into awe when your eyes lock with his.

“Oh my god,” he whispers, stumbling even though he’s standing in place.

“Blue,” you murmur. “Your eyes are blue.” Without even thinking or asking, your hand lifts to cup his cheek, and then you pull back, “Shit, sorry—”

But he grabs your wrist gently, placing your palm on his cheek. “It’s alright.” His thumb strokes the back of your hand. “I have been looking everywhere for you.”

“I thought you didn’t exist,” you whisper in reply. But here he is. His eyes are blue, his lips are pink, he has tiny brown freckles all over his rosy cheeks. You look back to his eyes, narrowing your own. “You liar. Your eyes have green in them, too.”

“Do they really?” Tom chuckles. “I never would’ve known.”

“That’s why you have me,” you tease, and you don’t know where any of this is coming from, yet it doesn’t feel like you’re pretending. It feels like you’re finally yourself.

His other hand tangles with yours as he nods. “That’s why I have you, indeed.”

At this time, the lights in the theatre begin lightly flashing, signaling that it’s time for everyone to begin making their way to their seats.

But neither you or Tom move one inch.

The only issue is people are beginning to stare.

You notice it first, so you slowly pull your hand from his cheek. This movement shocks him back to reality, too, and he blinks a few times, yet he doesn’t let go of your hand.

“I, um, I have to make a speech,” he says. “But then I can come back to you. Will you save me a seat?”

“Don’t you have to sit up front?”

He nods. “I do, but—”

“Then I’ll come with you.” You aren’t sure if it’s the fact that he hasn’t let go of your hand yet, or if it’s because you’ve been waiting so long that now you don’t want him to be further than an arms length away from you, but you mean what you say.

“Are you sure?” He asks, but you both need to make a decision quickly because you can see someone waving from the wings, most likely trying to get Tom’s attention.

“I’m sure.”

He doesn’t question it, in fact, he grins, and brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “Let’s go, then.”

[j4gm]

Obsidian lore thread!

Sharing this thread of lore, episode connections, and Easter eggs from Adventure Time: Distant Lands: Obsidian, originally written for my Twitter.

SPOILERS AHEAD, WATCH OBSIDIAN ON HBO MAX IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

Keep reading for the full thread!

1) We've seen bombs scattered around the Land of Ooo before, but this is the first time we've seen the word "fission", confirming that they are nukes. Although we have seen the radiation roundel plenty of times so it's pretty obvious.

2) The "magic lightning" that created the Glass Kingdom could itself have been one of the nukes. Alternatively, it could have been the catalyst comet, although Finn has no connection to this place so that's probably not the case.

3) The subtitles for the first four minutes video suggested that Glassboy was saying "crap" here. However, the HBO Max subtitles confirm he is actually saying "crack".

4) All of Marceline's classic furniture is present, but Bubblegum's influence is very visible; a doily on the couch, a flask underneath, new barstools from the Candy Kingdom, and the pink lamp in the bedroom, just to name a few examples.

5) Lady Rainicorn slippers. That is all.

6) Chocoberry on the cover of a magazine. Looks like she's been dipped in white chocolate for this shoot.

7) This is the first time we've seen Choose Goose since he appeared as "Achoos Goose" in the Elements miniseries. Last time we saw his normal form was all the way back in season five's "Blade of Grass", nearly seven years ago. Is it weird that Choose Goose was the first thing in the episode to make me cry?

8) It appears that Princess Bubblegum has not rebuilt the Gumball Guardians since they were destroyed in the battle against GOLB.

9) There are lots of familiar candy people in and around the tavern, from a variety of seasons, including Kenneth, Dirt Beer Guy, Cherry Cream Soda, a Banana Guard 500, Lollipop Girl, and Smudge.

10) Simon is of course singing "Remember You". He is also using the omnichord that was used in that episode. Interestingly, this suggests he might remember some of his experiences as the Ice King.

11) This isn't the first time Dirt Beer Guy's tavern has hosted an open mic night. He also held one in "Son of Rap Bear", and even used the same banner, although it's looking a little tattered and worn out now.

12) Simon doesn't look any older than he did in the finale. This might mean that Betty's wish made him immortal, or it simply might not have been long enough for him to visibly age.

13) This is the oversized shirt given to Marceline by her father in the episode "Marcy & Hunson". It's looking a little faded these days.

14) Bubblegum's outfit is of a similar style to the one in "The Vault", but it's not the same. The fact she's not wearing her amulet might suggest this flashback takes place after "The Vault", but nothing is known for certain.

15) There are gravestones outside Marceline's house, but these actually aren’t new. They previously appeared in “Go With Me”. So don’t worry, these don’t belong to Jake or anything like that.

16) Simon's coping mechanism would be funny if it wasn't so sad. It's going to be a long time before he fully recovers. On a lighter note, the magnets on the fridge say "M PB" which is pretty cute.

17) This is our first time seeing the outside of Elise's van. We previously saw the interior in "Everything Stays". Also, we learned from the credits and subtitles that her name is Elise!

18) Previously, it wasn't known whether or not Elise survived the Mushroom War. Turns out she did... but not for long. It's also now unclear whether the flashback from "Everything Stays" happened before or after the war.

19) A nice little timeline detail: Marceline travelling with her mother for a while explains the awkward two year gap between the Mushroom War and the events of "Simon & Marcy".

20) Here's a comparison of the parts of Marceline's song that got corrupted into the current version. The Glass People got really obsessed with the idea of the song being about coconuts for some reason.

21) PB yelling "Scree!" to summon the Morrow is a callback all the way to the season two episode "Death in Bloom", which is when the Morrow made their debut.

22) Disease is added to the long list of things that helped wipe out humanity. I wonder if this disease is related to the one that Hugo and his crew gave to the grays in the BMO special. I also wonder if Marceline is immune thanks to her demon half.

23) The mutant puppy was able to say the word "wassup". Perhaps this is a halfway stage to the talking animals that now populate the Land of Ooo.

24) Turns out Marceline discovered her demon powers before she defeated the Fool. This is the first appearance of these kinds of soulless husks since "It Came From the Nightosphere" in season two.

25) This is the first new candy power we've seen Princess Bubblegum use since she learned how to create mints and soda in "Jelly Beans Have Power".

26) Marceline not caring about the glass people is very in line with her personality in the early seasons, such as when she was happy to let her father suck souls as long as she got her bass back.

27) No Easter egg here, just an extremely good image.

28) Here's the screenshot leaked by Adam Muto last month. Like the gas station in "Bonnibel Bubblegum", the graffiti here tells an interesting story. Seems like the Land of Ooo had a bit of a Mad Max phase while the humans were still around.

29) This is (as far as I know) only the second time an Adventure Time character has ever been shown bleeding. The first was the heart monster in "The Enchiridion", but that was a lot less realistic.

30) The fact that humans survived long enough to construct a whole Fallout-style bunker confirms that the near-extinction of humanity wasn't a quick process. It makes you wonder whether any other groups made it, besides the Islanders.

31) Apart from this being one of the darkest scenes in the entire show, I like the background detail of bank notes being used as toilet paper.

32) Marceline grew up blaming herself for her mother leaving, and says she is like her dad. It sounds like Elise has told Marceline a bit about Hunson Abadeer, and is scared and angry at him.

33) This actually isn't the first time Marceline's bass has been broken. She also snapped the handle during her fight with the Vampire King. However, it's never been completely shattered like this.

34) This might be a reference to the Hall of Egress. That's the only other time we've heard Bubblegum use that word.

35) Confirmation that Princess Bubblegum doesn't have bones. I guess that counts as lore?

36) The gag of the Banana Guards slipping over each other was also done in "The Thin Yellow Line" and probably some other episodes I'm forgetting.

37) Jake’s granddaughter Bronwyn is certainly an unexpected appearance. I wonder what affiliation she has with the main cast now?

38) And of course... FINN! I would estimate he's aged about five to ten years since the finale, but it's hard to tell with Adventure Time's style. He looks younger than he did in Puhoy's alternate future.

39) Lots of people have been theorising that the tattoo implies that something unfortunate has happened to Jake. Perhaps we'll get to know more about that in Together Again. Let's not dwell on it for now.

40) A canon origin story for the shirt, plus a Bubbline first meeting! This overrides the P.B. & Marcy comic, and re-contextualises a whole bunch of the old Bubbline episodes!

That’s all for now! Let me know if you can think of anything I missed!

[slowly-writing]

Part of the Family: Part 6

Avengers x Kid!Reader

Part 1   Part 7

Word Count: 2274

a/n: Hey y’all! Here’s part 6! I wanted to let y’all know I have a few pretty important tests this week so I’m not sure how active I’ll be, but I’ll try to still get some stuff out for you guys. Have a great day!

After that day you started hanging out with Peter more at school, you and MJ merging in with him and Ned to form one friend group. You even stayed with Peter and his aunt when the whole team had to go to Sokovia. You had begged them to let you come but they refused. It was too high profile of a mission with too much room for injury. Your parents were still just a little too protective for your liking, so for now you had to watch the news and wait for them to come back.

You shake yourself out of your thoughts as you hear people yelling down the hall.

“Hey! It’s Penis Parker!” Flash yells as Peter walks into school.

You walk up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder, “hey buddy. Leave him alone, alright?”

You tower over him but Flash doesn’t know how to be intimidated apparently, and he refuses to back down, “why do you hang out with that loser anyway?”

“Because unlike you, he has a personality outside of being a dick. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to be anywhere but here,” you smirk as Flash’s friends laugh and walk back towards MJ.

“Hey, thanks y/n,” Peter says as he and Ned walk over, “I’m trying to keep the whole, uh, internship on the downlow.” You nod, acknowledging that he doesn’t want to say the truth with so many people around.

“I get it. That ship sailed for me a while ago, but you’re a part of the team now. We’ve got each other’s backs. If he keeps bugging you, let me know, yeah?”

Peter nods before walking off to class, you smile after him, he’s kind of turning into the brother you never had. He’s part of the family now, and you always take care of your family.

“You’re a good person, you know that?” MJ asks and you blush.

“It’s uh...the serum. I can’t help it,” you try to brush it off but she grabs your hand looking up at you.

“No it’s not. You and I both know that serum just brings out what’s already inside you. You’re a good person, and that’s all you.” She says and you smile down at her, “now c’mon. Let’s get to class, loser.”

You laugh, “you’re incapable of showing feelings for more than 30 seconds at a time, huh?”

“Shut up, Jr,” she teases and you roll your eyes.

xxxxx

“Thank you for dinner Miss Parker. And thank you again for letting me stay here while my parents are out of town,” you say and Peter’s aunt smiles at you.

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me May? And of course, you’re welcome here anytime, y/n.”

“Thank you, May.”

“So what did you say your parents do?” She asks and you look to Peter who shrugs.

“You can tell her if you want.”

“Tell me what?” She asks and you smile.

“They’re, um…they’re Avengers. Black Widow and Captain America. I kinda am too. They had to leave on a mission. Normally I’d stay in the tower with whoever was left, but this was kind of a whole team sort of situation,” you explain and her eyes get wide.

“Wow, I knew I recognized your last name from somewhere. If it was a whole team thing why aren’t you with them?” she says and you smile.

“Yeah I get that a lot. They’re a bit protective. They don’t like to admit that I can help. I’ve been training with them since I was twelve and I think sometimes they still see me as a little kid,” you say with a laugh.

“That makes sense. I don’t know how I’d handle it if Peter was off doing what you do. That’s very admirable of you,” she says and you and Peter exchange a look.

“Um...yeah. Thank you,” you say softly.

xxxxx

“Come on Parker, one more rep!” You encourage Peter as he finishes his workout. You had come to the tower to use the training room. People looked at you funny when you bench pressed hundreds of pounds at the gym.

“Man, I may have the strength, but you definitely have the stamina y/n.” Peter says and you groan.

“Please don’t start that whole strongest Avenger fight right now. It never ends. My dad and I have been arguing about it since before he was my dad,” you say rolling your eyes. MJ laughs from her spot next to you. She’s sitting criss cross on an empty bench reading a book. You’ve long since stopped trying to get her to participate in your workouts but she always comes to keep you company.

“You were raised around way too much testosterone, y/n,” MJ stays and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t I know it. I swear heightened testosterone levels were a requirement to live here. I don’t know how mom and I survived.”

“By being the smartest people here,” your mom says from the door and you grin.

“Hell yeah we are!” You say, running over to hug her. “How was the mission?”

“The mission went fine. It was a tough one but we made it out, we always do,” she says and you smile at her. “Also, don’t let your dad hear you talk like that, he’ll yell ‘language’ at you,” she jokes and you laugh.

“I know he’s from the 40s but he really needs to get with the times.”

“Who needs to get with the times?” Steve walks through the door and you shake your head.

“Oh great, it’s a family affair. Did you guys need something?” You tease, but really you’re glad that they’re both home safe. You always get a little stressed when they’re gone. Your dad puts a hand over his heart.

“Our little girl is all grown up, she doesn’t need us anymore,” your mom says, wiping fake tears from under her eyes.

“They grow up so fast. It feels like just yesterday she was taking her first steps,” your dad joins in and you can hear Peter and MJ laughing behind you.

“You do realize you didn’t meet me until I was twelve, right? Is the old age finally getting to you dad?” You tease and he laughs.

“Very funny. Anyway, we were coming to tell you guys that we’re all home and dinner's almost ready, unless of course you don’t want food,” your dad goes to leave and both you and Peter jump to stop him.

“No!” You yell in unison cause the other three to laugh.

“We just gotta hit the showers real fast, we’ll be down in a minute!” You say and Peter looks at you.

“Race you!” He yells before taking off toward the locker room.

“You’re going down, Parker!” You yell, running after him.

“Miss Romanoff, I really think all that testosterone is getting to her,” MJ says with a laugh and your mom places a hand on her shoulder.

“You’ve got no idea, kid.”

xxxxxxx

“Hey guys!” Clint walks in to dinner a few minutes late, “I come bearing our newest recruit! She helped us out in Sokovia.” He says as a girl with brown hair and a shy smile step out from behind him.

“Hello, everyone. I didn’t really have time to introduce myself in all the chaos. I’m Wanda,” the girl says, with a thick accent.

“What is this, teenager recruitment week? Can MJ join up, too?” You tease and Clint rolls his eyes.

“We’re not making your girlfriend an Avenger because you think it’d be cute.” Tony says and you blush looking away.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” you grumble and MJ laughs.

“Only cause you won’t ask me out,” she says with a smirk and your jaw drops .

“Wait, what?” You look at her with wide eyes.

“Y/n, flirt later. Introduce yourself now,” your mom cuts in, snapping you out of your stupor.

“Huh? Oh yeah. Hey Wanda, I’m y/n. I’m the resident teenager around here. This is Peter, he’s on the team with us, and this is my friend MJ.”

“Your potential girlfriend if I heard correctly,” Wanda cuts you off and you glare.

“Yeah she’s gonna fit in fine,” you say rolling your eyes as she laughs. “Anyway! Neither of them live here, but they’re here all the time.  Everyone else stays here and they’re all members of the team. My parents Natasha and Steve, and that is Tony and Bruce. You’ve obviously met Clint.”

“That’s a lot of names,” Wanda laughs nervously and you smile.

“Don’t worry, I’ve had years to get this down. You’ll get there. Are you moving in?” You ask and she nods, “cool! Well, how about you join us for dinner and then Peter, MJ, and I can give you the tour. You three are lucky by the way! I only had all the old guys to show me around. They didn’t tell me that you could play video games on the screens in the lab or about the secret passageway to the roof.”

“Secret what now?”

“Nothing, mom!” You say, avoiding eye contact, causing everyone else to laugh.

xxxxx

“Hey, now that there’s more teenagers here can I drop out of school again?” You ask the next morning at breakfast and your dad laughs.

“Nice try, kid” Tony says and you sigh.

“Again?” Wanda asks and you nod.

“I dropped out when I first got here. I didn’t quite have control of my strength and they were trying this whole joint parenting thing. With 5 parents I could pretty much always convince one of them to give me my way. Then they adopted me and dad went on a power trip and put me back in school,” you tease and your dad rolls his eyes.

“Since when is making sure you get an education a power trip?” Steve asks.

“Since I could’ve been training and making sure I was ready for any danger that could arise.”

“Like wrenches?” Your mom teases as she walks in and you groan.

“When are you gonna let that go? I was a little kid!”

“Wrenches?” Wanda asks and you sigh.

“There was an accident in the lab when I first moved in. Long story short, I was helping Tony and he wasn’t paying enough attention leading to me getting hit in the face with a wrench and needing stitches,” you explain and she tries to hide her laugh.

“They won’t let me live it down,” you groan.

“Are you complaining about the wrench again?” Tony asks and you throw your hands in the air.

“Mom brought it up again. It wasn’t me!”

“Sure, y/n. Whatever you say,” he teases and you roll your eyes.

“You know what? I take it back. I don’t want to drop out. I’m going to school to get away from you crazy people!” You yell, grabbing your bag and heading for the door.

“Wait!” Your dad calls, “Wanda is going to start at your school today. Show her around, okay?”

“Yeah sure, welcome to the American education system kid,” you say leading her out the door.

“It surely can’t be as weird as they say it is, can it?” She asks and you laugh.

“It’s worse, there’s videos of my dad for almost every subject. You’ll hate it, let’s go.”

xxxxxx

“So how do you wanna play this?” You ask as you climb off your dirt bike, since you had turned 16 your mom finally let you drive it to school. Luckily she was a little groggy this morning and didn’t have time to put together that you don’t have a spare helmet. It’s not like you really need one anyway, you always give it to MJ when you sneak out to take her on rides.

“What do you mean?” Wanda asks as you lead her into school.

“Do you want to tell people you’re joining the Avengers? Everyone knows about me, but Peter keeps it a secret,” you explain and she nods.

“They’ll all find out eventually, right?” she says and you nod. “Then we can tell them. It’s okay.”

“It’ll hopefully help you get made fun of less,” you say and her eyes get wide, “Don’t worry. Most of them are scared of me. Stick with me and you’ll be good.”

“Hey, Captain Widow!” Somebody yells as you walk in and you nod in their general direction. That had become your sort of unofficial superhero name, but you kind of enjoyed it.

“Who’s the new kid?” Flash says stepping in front of you.

“This is Wanda, she’s joining the Avengers with me,” you say and he smirks.

“New teenager kick, I like it. Can I join?” he asks and you roll your eyes.

“You have to have some actual talent for that one, now, if you don’t mind, I’m pretty sure being in your presence is killing my brain cells,” you say stepping around him.

“Flash bugging you again?” Peter asks as you walk up and you shrug.

“He just wants to seem cool, he doesn’t do a very good job of it though.”

“You can say that again,” Ned says and you laugh.

“Oh, right! Wanda this is Ned, Ned this is Wanda, she just moved into the tower,” you introduce.

“Nice to meet you!” Ned says and Wanda smiles at him.

“Are you coming over today?” you ask MJ softly and before she can respond Peter cuts in.

“When does she not? She’s there more than I am and I’m on the team!”

“Watch it spiderboy,” you say and he raises his hands in surrender.

Tag list: @rvgrsbrns

Series Tag list: @hannahsairwave

[loftec]

Hi i don't know if anyone haven't ask you about it or i'm the only one who wants to read it but CAN YOU PLEASE SHARE YOUR NOTES (ch.44) i don't know if you were serious about that but i really would love to read them cause i'm obsessed with everything what is ntw related 🖤 hope ur well

Hi friend! It’s possibly just you (or one other person, in case of separate anons) but that is enough! I was absolutely serious. 

Note on the notes! This is not all of it, because my notes for this chapter were often repetitive and very messy, and some older notes were from four years ago when I didn’t bother writing things out properly, so they barely make sense even to me. But! I’ve done my best to sort everything in some kind of linear order, and removed most of the repetition. And, well, you asked for it... sorry! 🖤

Ian shows up in the morning, Mickey digs out the magazine Iggy stole from Amelia’s dentist’s office the other day and confronts Ian about the big-ass article in Rolling Stone about IAN’S BAND, says he’s listened to some of their songs, takes out a paper where he’s written down some lyrics that sound strangely familiar.

You’re famous!

I’m in a band, people know about us right now, tomorrow they might not. I’m not famous.

You’re kinda famous.

Ian talks about Mickey recognizing him because of Frank. Hints that there might be several songs inspired by Mickey. It’s awkward as fuck, didn’t want you to know.

Were you ever gonna tell me?

Oh yeah, I had a plan. 3 dates, dinner and a movie, day out with Yev, dinner at my place turned vigorous love-making. Second prong; cohabitation, engagement, marriage, then on our wedding night I tell you about crushing on Justin Timberlake when I was 12,

then I tell you I’m semi-famous, if it still applies.

Mickey thinks his face might be on fire.

What the?

I’m fucking with you, Mick. Figured you already knew.

This again?

You angry?

No, I’m not fucking angry. Just-

Freaked out.

Kinda, yeah.

You shouldn’t be. Please.

It’s weird that I didn’t know, I feel like a schmuck. (And I’m pretty sure by your count we’ve already been on those first two dates.)

I’m sorry. I thought you knew and by some fucking miracle didn’t treat me different. I’d been gearing up to maybe have to have this conversation on our date, ‘cause it’s shit sometimes, you know? I don’t do interviews and I never talk about myself when I gotta do them, but there’s still a limelight and a lot of bullshit that complicates

I’ve been crushing on you since we met basically, and I thought I’d just… let it run its course, keep my mouth shut about it and deal until it went away and we could remain friends without me fucking it up.

Didn’t work, by the way.

Good.

Mickey is talking about it with Etch, who suggests that Ian’s been writing at the diner for a reason.

Etch looks up some lyrics and Mickey caps locks them to Ian

You might have inspired a few lately…

Fuck off. How many?

Since we met? Pretty much all of them.

Maybe one or two made it on to the album, but I wrote those before we really got to know each other so they’re just like… about moments, and how I would feel around you.

Didn’t think of it as creepy but it kinda sounds that way now.

No it’s fine

I won’t do it again.

Said it’s fine. Kinda like it.

Yeah?

You gonna tell me which ones are about me, or is that a secret too?

What are you doing tonight?

Thought you said you were going on tour?

We are, it starts tonight. It’s a small fan club gig here in Chicago.

You have a fan club?

Kinda. I’ll put you on the guest list if you want to come.

(Mickey calls Svetlana to make sure Yevgeny can stay with her over the weekend.)

It’s fine if you don’t want to, we’ll do something else when I get back.

Calm your tits Gallagher, course I wanna go. Needed to make sure I’ve got Yev covered.

Oh okay, good. You’re on the list. Doors at 7, gig starts at 8, no support.

You’ve got no chill.

(Ian doesn’t answer for a while)

I like it.

Good, that was torture. Never doing that again.

(Etch teases him about having his nose in his phone, and makes him aware of new guests arriving)

Gotta get back to work

Yeah, me too. See you tonight?

No chill at all.

Ian invites him to the concert and gives Mickey his phone number. Mickey makes sure Yevgeny stays with his mom on saturday, and after work he goes home and gets ready. Showers and cleans himself thoroughly, puts on cologne and a band t-shirt he hasn’t worn in ages, it’s gotten kinda tight on him since he got it. (He puts on a dress shirt first, tucks it into his pants and glares at his reflection).

He’s on the guest list when he gets there, the girl in the box office can’t find him at first but then Anne shows up and points him out, he’s on the VIP list and gets a pass that he’s told he needs to carry so it’s visible. He makes a point of shoving it in the admission guy’s face, but then shoves the ostentatious thing down the pocket of his jeans. Anne shows him in and tells him about the gig, about how the fan club got started. Anne says he can go backstage but he says he’ll pass, thank you. He gets a beer and finds a good spot, there’s a balcony halfway through the venue where he’s got a perfect view of the stage without having to stand in the front.

They text a little, Mickey says he’s there and Ian says he’ll make a sign when they play a song inspired by him.

run-through of the concert, Ian touches the side of his nose when the song is about Mickey. He’s sexy as fuck, and has some ridiculous stripper moves.

He takes off his hoodie at some point, and sweating through his tank he and Anne put on gloves and start hitting the barrels with crowbars.

Anne is the maestro, maybe Ian crowd surfs at some point? Warren Ellis that violin, man. He has little routines with Anne, and some with Jon too. One song, Anne gets one of his guitars and he does noisy stuff with his violin and plays on the oil barrels with Stran, completely in sync.  

They got some good stage banter going, and at some point Ian does a Tom Waits impression, and Anne groans and says he’ll sing the whole thing if they’re not careful. There’s a reason why he’s

For the encore, Ian touches the side of his nose and they start playing a song, Anne saying that this is a first. It looks like Ian is about to sing, but then it looks like he changes his mind and they start playing a song that Mickey sure as fuck hope isn’t about him. The insufferable man on a date right next to Mickey tells the woman he’s with that they were about to play the mysterious title track from their last album that never ended up on the record

“it’s derivative, but cute”

how can it be a title track if it’s not on the album

the guy talks about how he’s got a friend working as an engineer in the studio and he’s sent him an early demo version. It’s not their best song by far, but it’s cool that pretty much no one else has heard it.

Mickey asks the girl if she’s ok with this joker, and she says she’s fine. He offers to get her a cab or something, if she wants to get out of there.

She says she’s not interested

Lady, if I wanted to get with either of you, it wouldn’t be you. Just sayin, I ain’t picky, but that guy would’ve gotten the boot ten minutes into the date if he were here with me, no offense.

WHAT IF.

The concert is over, and crowd starts to let up. Then a fight breaks out at the front and Mickey makes his way towards it. It’s over before he gets there, and sees a guy in his 40s with a bleeding nose, and Lip shaking out his fist, a security guard between them.

Mickey talks to the guard and defuses the situation, putting the bleeding man in the position of a sad overzealous fan. It somehow warms Lip to him, absurdly, and he finds himself apologized to, Lip shaking his hand and wincing when Mickey grips his bruised knuckles a little too hard. Lip vaguely explains that that was an old ex of Ian’s, a real piece of work, and then offers Mickey to come backstage with them to see Ian. Mickey declines.

It’s Lip, Carl and Debbie (Liam is too young, and Fiona too pregnant).

“I was drunk, and wrong, and when I’m wrong I say I’m wrong. (IT’S FROM DIRTY DANCING YOU LITERALLY FORGET EVERY TIME AND HAVE TO GOOGLE IT WHENEVER READING THIS NOTE should I really be quoting Baby’s dad in this fic? Probably. If anyone can, it’s Lip.) And Ian tells me you’ve been there for him a lot lately

I wouldn’t say that

But he did, he doesn’t tell me a lot these days, but he told me that.

Mickey gets another beer at the bar as people mill towards the merch and exit, he sits on a stool with an eye on the backstage passage. He watches the band come out to talk to some of the lingering fans and sign shit. Ian comes out and is immediately surrounded by fans, he locks eyes with Mickey across the room and Mickey raises his beer in a silent cheers. Ian comes up to him after a few minutes, he looks damp and exhilarated and unexpectedly nervous,

How was it?

Not bad, Gallagher.

he asks Mickey over. He has to pack up his shit and do the rounds, but he’ll be done in half an hour, tops. Mickey says he’ll meet him outside.

Ian leaves and Mickey finishes his beer, watching Ian talk to some fans, signing shit and taking pictures. He goes for a piss and then goes out for a smoke.

Ian comes out after twenty minutes, carrying two guitar cases and a large wheelie-bag. Mickey takes one of the guitars off his hands and they walk together.

(maybe Ian has a banjo and he gives it to Mickey to carry and Mickey is all really? I wanna kick your ass so bad right now, country boy, but then carries it anyway.) (banjos are cool)

Walk from the club. Mickey mentions talking to Lip. They talk about Ian’s Tom Waits impression. You’re not musically illiterate at all! Talk about Mickey’s Radiohead tee that he stole from a hookup when he was sixteen, he’s grown into it now. Talk about Ian’s onstage dancing, used to be a stripper, well, not saying you can’t still do private performances (?? you know what I mean! this is not what they’re saying but you’ll remember it) (Note from 2020: I DID NOT REMEMBER IT.)

Talk about wanting to learn playing the trumpet. Don’t have trumpet playing lips.

”Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to, I believe in you.”

Looks at Mickey and smiles.

”What?”

”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

”Maybe.”

”Huh”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” “Just re-evaluating everything you’ve ever said to me.”

”Re-evaluate this;” gives Ian the finger.

”That an invitation?”

”Fuck you is what it is,”

“sounds like an invitation.”

Ian tells him a little about his different instruments, Mickey picks up the beat up guitar Gus first gave to Ian and strums it, Ian asks him to play him something but Mickey snorts and says he’s counting on getting laid tonight and him playing would be detrimental to that plan. Ian doesn’t think so, but accepts it when Mickey gives him the guitar.

”I’ve walked some thousand miles,” he starts softly, eyes on his left hand, moving over the strings, ”I have slept many hundred nights, and people’ve said hello and bye through the years since you were mine. But don’t think I’ll stop my mourning, don’t I know it’s overdue. Just because I’ve gotten older, none the wiser I cry for you.”

”Honey, cutie, sweetie-pie,” ”My darling boy, sweet old times, as long as I keep you in mind I will remember what love is like. So, don’t think I’ll stop my mourning, don’t I know it’s overdue.”

”Just because I’ve gotten older, none the wiser.”

”I cry for you.”

I’M THINKING OF WRITING MY OWN SONG BECAUSE I WAS THIS MOMENT TO BE MORE BEFORE SUNSET THAN ANYTHING, ALL SMILES AND DRAMA FREE. SO MAYBE A TEXT THAT IS A LITTLE MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

Ian plays the song and when he’s done, Mickey kisses him and they have really enthusiastic sex on the couch. Mickey is about to leave after when Ian invites him to stay,

How about some long-ass foreplay on the couch and then they move into the bedroom.

They start on the couch, they take it to the bedroom, they collapse on the bed after and Mickey is feeling too good to argue when Ian mumbles at him to “stay”.

(Sings the song, says it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a song, it’s one quick thought put under a spotlight. Feeling like he should have known Mickey his whole life already. It’s too much, isn’t it? In the kitchen.

”do you normally take guys home and serenade them?”

”nah, don’t think it’d be very effective with most.”

”But you figured I’d swoon?”

”Figured you’d want the truth.”

”which is?”)

??? Need to find a good mix of excitement and new and easy, balanced with ho shit wtf are we doing this isn’t going to end well i think i fucking love him shut the fuck up. needs to be sexy and a little rough, as well as painfully sincere against better knowledge. kissing will do that. they’re doing stuff the way they usually do stuff, but for some reason it feels completely different.

Important that Mickey kisses him.

They stand up and stand chest to chest, Ian says they don’t have to do anything, Mickey says shut up and get naked

he helps ian take his shirt off and kisses him the second his face comes back into view

They fucks on the couch.

OR ALT FADE CUT END and don’t go explicit. Just saying, it’s an option. A valid option.

They can go at it in one of the sequels? Like the roadtrip can be more explicit? If I want? But also not?

I mean, there is such a thing as a nice middle ground right.

I just don’t think I’m interested in going all out porn after 40+ chapters of whatever.

THEY KISS AND THEN THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKING FADE TO BLACK MY FRIEND, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I HAVE DECIDED. Soz

WHAT IF!!

Iggy comes in, is all: guess what I found at the dentist this morning?

M: again? Did Amelia break another tooth?

I: It’ll grow back, take a look at this

E: Did you steal that from the dentist’s office?

M: Rolling Stone, wtf?

E: your dentist’s got rolling stone?

Mickey reads the headlines out loud as a customer comes in and asks Etch about something they’ve lost the other day, and Etch starts rifling through boxes behind the counter as Mickey moves over to sit down in Ian’s booth, rifling through the magazine.

M: what am I looking for?

I: I marked the page

E: what’s this note?

Mickey starts reading the article, realizing that the blurred picture is of Ian, and the interview is with Ian, and holy shit. Ian is legit famous.

Etch starts reading the list of coffees, eventually turning the page over and pointing out that there’s a phone number.

Iggy comes to the diner in the morning, Etch is rifling through stuff behind the counter and Mickey is doing the rounds with the few guests still there after the morning rush.

Iggy shows him the magazine he found at the dentist’s and Etch is in the background like wtf is this, reading from Ian’s note with the coffee orders, Mickey only half listens, trying to take in the fact that Ian is fucking famous.

Etch says there’s a phone number too and Mickey brushes him off.

Then he’s like, hold the fuck up! And gets the note from the trash and tries the number, and Ian fucking answers. And they have the you’re famous conversation on the phone and voila, Mickey has his number and vice versa.

So Mickey calls Ian in the morning, then there’s text talk during the day.

From Ian

So, you’ve had my number for x days and you only now decided to use it?

That’s cold.

From Mickey

You wrote it on a piece of paper you then balled up and threw on the floor, asshole, it’s a miracle it didn’t end up in the trash. didn’t know I had it until this morning.

You suck at this. (This is a nice revelation that he likes, but Maybe that doesn’t come across in text.

Not a complaint btw, just gleeful observation.

From Ian

Are we still on?

From Mickey

Of course.

Dumbass.

Ian

I probably deserved that.

At some point Mickey starts capslocking and sending lyrics to Ian, who has to explain through text why he’s written songs about Mickey, saying that he’ll point them out tonight.

HERE’S A QUESTION

SHOULD I SKIP THE WHOLE “WRITING SONGS ABOUT MICKEY” BUSINESS??

Isn’t it enough that Ian is famous and kept this fact from Mickey? Isn’t the writing songs business a little creepy? and if he did write songs about Mickey, would he really publish them without Mickey’s consent? No. Maybe I’m deliriously tired and about to fall ill right now, but I actually think I should skip that part. It’s a little sad because it’s been part of this idea for three years, but if I’m uncertain about it now imagine how I’m going to feel about it later?

When I started writing this story, it was supposed to be a quick and silly thing, and now it’s something else. It’s not important or anything, but also it is. To me. And making a decision on the rating was a big deal for me, and I think this is another one of those things. I’ve been holding on to this idea for so long but when I really think about it, is it even romantic? It’s romantic in that kind of teenage dream way, maybe? It’s more romantic to me if they fall in love for reasons other than Ian writing songs. But he’s written NTW, and he still thinks about performing it live, but we skip the whole thing about songs being about Mickey.

So they talk on the phone in the morning, and then there’s a text coming in after a little while asking if Mickey wants to come to the show.

HEYHO IT’S A REVOLUTION AND I FEEL FREE

Mickey and Ian text after the show (after Mickey declines going backstage) Ian asks him to meet him round back in twenty minutes. When Mickey goes out there, he sees Ian talking to a couple of fans by the bus and Mickey hangs back to smoke while he waits. The fans leave and Ian looks around, checks his watch, he has a bunch of guitars with him.

I AM LEANING HEAVILY TOWARDS MICKEY KISSING IAN HERE. He’s like “Stop, hold this” giving Ian back the guitar, so he can grab on to him and kiss him, smiling against Ian lips as the guitar tips over and clatters against the asphalt.

They’re outside Ian’s house, Ian says he has to get up at an unholy hour tomorrow. Invites him in anyway.

They’re in the elevator, then they’re in Ian’s apartment. Ian plays him the song, Before sunset ending.

almost none of that rhymed, just letting you know. kinda embarrassing.

(almost none of that rhymed, just letting you know. kinda embarrassing.

yeah, it’s not a very good song. is why we cut it from the record

oh yeah? thought it was ‘cause of the like, intensely personal subject

that too)

They smile at each other like fools and Mickey feels like he is exactly where he’s supposed to be, and there’s no rush. Fade to black.

Etch finds the paper, says there’s a phone number on it. Mickey dials the number and goes out back as it rings out. When Ian answers, he reads a question from the interview and they talk.

He goes back into the diner and basically blows the whole thing off, it doesn’t make any difference to him and he has to go back to work. Yevgeny does his homework and Iggy leaves, and Ian invites Mickey to the gig via text. Etch invites Yevgeny to stay over at theirs for a movie night.

Does Mickey tell Yev about the gig?

Start with Mickey out back, smoking. The phone rings and he waits for Etch to take it, but it keeps ringing. He bangs the door and yells PHONE and then it stops ringing. He kills the cigarette and goes back inside. Etch is behind the counter talking on the phone and going through the lost and found, looking for whatever the caller has lost. Mickey clears a table. It’s afternoon. Etch hangs up but keeps going through stuff in the box, talking to Mickey, when Iggy comes in.

It’s maybe more like afternoon (?) when Iggy comes in and shows Mickey the magazine. He calls Ian and they have a quick conversation (he probably goes outside to have it, to escape his audience) and they establish that Ian is sorta famous. Then they text back and forth a little, until Ian invites him to the show.

Mickey calls Svet to arrange it so Yev can stay with her, and then accepts. He goes home after work to eat, have a shower and change out of his clothes. He wears the only band tee he owns, mostly because it’s funny and because it’s kinda tight and he doesn’t think he looks too bad in it (and a dress shirt is way too much for a concert not-date, not that he tried on a couple first. Then he does a little bit of cyberstalking only to find very little personal information and a lot of crazy fans. Maybe he watches a couple of music videos, but they’re all really weird cartoons so they give him nothing. They’re cool though, and guess the music’s alright, even though he doesn’t have a connection yet to it so it’s hard to tell if he likes it.

Yevgeny calls, because Mickey switched the days and he wants to know why. Mickey asks if he knows about the Broken Bells, and Yev’s like duh who doesn’t? And freaks out when Mickey tells him about Ian. He doesn’t tell him about the whole date situation though, just that he’s going to the concert. Maybe Yev asks for some merch.

Mickey takes an Uber to the venue, even though it’s not too far from the diner (but on the other side, so at least a 30 minute walk) and it seems like they’ve already started letting people in. He hangs back until the admissions office is clear and then tells the lady that he’s on some kinda guest list. She can’t find him, and he’s about to give up and go home when he sees a familiar figure in the background. He calls her Stay-puft first, but then also remembers that her name is Anne and calls her that too. She remembers him, and finds him on a different (VIP) list, the venue staff woman is embarrassed, but Anne is borderline flirting she’s so nice about the mistake. Mickey gets a pass that he’s supposed to keep around his neck, but he shows it to the guards and then tucks it down his back pocket. Anne shows him inside the venue and asks if he wants to come backstage and say hello, but he kindly declines.

He has a quick peruse of the merch table (he checks the CDs, and then sees a smaller table next to the merch with a guy handing out pins, Mickey talks to him and finds out that it’s “fan club” pins to commemorate the gig and Mickey asks if his VIP pass gets him one, it does, and then the guy asks if Mickey wants to sign up for the newsletter) and then gets a beer, before finding a good spot on the mezzanine floor. He’s got a balcony railing for support and beer holder, and he’s got an excellent view of the stage. The floor is filling up with people packing themselves against the front. He texts Ian saying he’s here and they text a little back and forth. He gets someone to watch his spot and goes to the restroom. There, he finds a kid getting cornered by a middle-aged man. The kid looks vaguely familiar and not older than sixteen. Mickey steps in and casually accuses the guy of creeping on a kid and the guy immediately backs off, the kid says thanks and that he’s eighteen (because it’s an 18+ gig) and Mickey says sure.

Getting back to his spot, There is a douchebag on a date behind him that he wants to move away from, but he doesn’t want to surrender his good spot. He decides to tune him out, he’ll hopefully shut up once the set starts. It’s just a couple of minutes after eight when the lights dim and a song comes on louder than before, and the band start coming out on the stage. Ian is wearing jeans and a hoodie, like he normally does, but he’s clean shaven and his normally smiling face is set in blank determination. Anne is the front person, and she commands the audience with the slightest gesture. It’s obvious that the venue is filled with old fans, they all know exactly what to do exactly when she asks them to do it. Ian’s got like four guitars and a whole lot of other shit around him, and he’s super focused on doing his stuff, but now and then he does little routines with Anne and Jon, and gets a big cheer for his occasional solos.

A few songs in, Ian gets up to stand on one of the oil barrels, and Anne starts banging on it with a crowbar. That’s when Mickey starts to really get into it. It’s cool, and it’s a lot harder than Ian made it out to be, but kind of theatrical at the same time. Ian is brilliant, even though he dances like an uncoordinated stripper.

There is banter between the songs, mainly between Anne and Stran (girl sure bangs those drums!) Anne starts banging one of the oil barrels again and Ian and Jon do a little step dance next to each other across the scene.

At some point Ian takes off his hoodie. He’s wearing a white tank and he’s already sweating through it. He gives his guitar to Anne and puts on gloves. Him and Stran do a little bant-y thing and then they start a new song by both banging the barrels in unison while Anne and Jon start playing (maybe Jon plays something else, like an electric piano or a marimba?). At the crescendo of the song, Ian takes out a baseball bat and goes to town on the barrel, sweat shining on his muscly arms and his wet hair flopping down his forehead.

They go off the stage, but come back when the crowd chants a song, stomping their feet and clapping their hands. Anne says they’ve got one more song for them, and they start playing. She moves away from the microphone and it looks for a second like Ian is going to step up and sing. Douchebag behind Mickey tells his date about an unreleased b-side to the last album. But then Ian steps back and says something to Stran, who nods and moves into a slightly different beat. Without blinking Anne, steps back up to the mic and sings the last song.

Some of the crowd lingers by the stage after the lights have gone back on, but most move towards the bar or the merch table. Mickey hangs back to watch the crew take down the stage, and the two oil barrels being handed over to someone in the audience, along with set lists and left-over picks. Walking down from the mezzanine floor to go look for the restrooms, a fight breaks out on the floor. Mickey immediately recognizes one of them as Lip and the other one as the creep from the bathroom, and intervenes by clearly positioning himself on Lip’s side and reminding the creep that he could get him in trouble, the creep backs off and agrees when Mickey tells the security guards it was an accident (in a way that isn’t obviously helpful, but in the end still makes sure that Lip isn’t hurt or arrested for punching a guy) (because he did, he punched a guy, who is thrown out by the guards after Mickey’s intervention). Lip, Carl, Debbie, and Liam is there, but it’s only Lip who knows who Mickey is. He hangs back to talk to Mickey while his siblings go backstage (and PROBABLY DOESN’T tell him a little bit about the guy being Ian’s ex, making it clear that Lip really doesn’t like him). He also apologizes to Mickey for last time. He asks if Mickey wants to go backstage, but Mickey declines. He’s decided earlier with Ian through text that he’ll wait for him and thinks it’s better to do it somewhere that isn’t backstage where he might get asked questions and have to talk to people who aren’t Ian.

He gets another beer and stands in the bar next to the merch, watching as Ian and the rest of the band come out to sign some stuff and shake hands. Ian still looks slightly damp from sweat, even though he’s obviously changed clothes and run a towel through his hair. Mickey wonders if his skin tastes like salt. He drinks his beer.

Ian comes up to him after a little while, asking well? (or texts him, which probably makes more sense? But I also want Mickey to see Ian post-show)

Not bad Gallagher, not bad at all.

Ian looks pleased and asks if Mickey wants to come over, even though Ian has an early morning. Mickey says yes and Ian asks him to wait until they’re done packing up.

Mickey finishes his beer, goes to the restroom (where he sees douchebag by the urinal) and then he goes outside to wait for Ian. (He talks to douchebag’s date and offers to get her a taxi before the guy comes out.) He smokes a cigarette, and before he knows it, Ian is by his side, carrying a fuck ton of guitars. They decide to walk, for some reason, talking on the way.

HEY

Ian says he’s got a car coming and they walk a little bit to where they’re getting picked up. They talk about trumpet lips and stuff and Mickey kisses him. They get interrupted by the car arriving, and Ian picks up his guitars and says “you coming?”

Fuck yes

They sit in silence in the car, but it’s a good one. Ian says

Lip told me what you did back there.

He didn’t tell you shit.

He did, told me you stepped in and stopped him from getting arrested

He was getting his ass kicked, someone had to help the guy

And Liam told me you got him out of a tough situation in the restroom

That was Liam? Some pedo’s creeping on a kid by the urinal, I’m not gonna stand by doing nothing.

You know that’s not what happened

Yeah, well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

He isn’t a pedo, and Lip would’ve beat the shit outta him if you hadn’t stepped in.

You defending this guy?

No, trying to say thanks.

You’re shit at it.

Thank you, Mickey

Better.

So… friend of yours.

No. (Ian isn’t forthcoming with the info)

Alright, whatever.

And he’s definitely not someone I wanna talk about, tonight.

(Ian is smiling at him, all the promise in the world in his eyes)

Fucking fair enough.

They arrive.

OR Ian joins Mickey outside and they stand around and talk

They talk about Ian’s Tom Waits impression. You’re not musically illiterate at all! Talk about Mickey’s Radiohead tee that he stole from a hookup when he was sixteen, he’s grown into it now. Talk about Ian’s onstage dancing, used to be a stripper, well, not saying you can’t still do private performances (?? you know what I mean! this is not what they’re saying but you’ll remember it)

Talk about wanting to learn playing the trumpet. Don’t have trumpet playing lips.

”Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to, I believe in you.”

Looks at Mickey and smiles.

”What?”

”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

”Maybe.”

”Huh”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” “Just re-evaluating everything you’ve ever said to me.”

”Re-evaluate this;” gives Ian the finger.

”That an invitation?”

”Fuck you is what it is,”

“sounds like an invitation.”

That’s when a taxi pulls up and Ian walks toward it

Could use some help with these.

They ride in silence

They carry Ian’s instruments from the car, and Ian says something cute

Mickey’s like “Stop, hold this” giving Ian back the guitar, so he can grab on to him and kiss him, smiling against Ian lips as the guitar tips over and clatters on the asphalt.

They’re outside Ian’s house, Ian says he has to get up at an unholy hour tomorrow. Invites him in anyway.

There he asks Ian to play him something that other people don’t get to hear (mostly to be a cheeky monkey, but also because he wants it) and Ian plays him None the wiser.

I’ve walked a thousand miles to end up in your corner booth

Grinning idiot when you bitch, falling fool for your dirty mouth

Sitting on my busy hands when you swagger by and I say -

Hey waiter, pour some coffee in my cup and bring me my toast, before you fuck me up

I’ve been in some thousand fights and it’s clear that so have you, too

Faded threats and cigarettes, sharp glass polished by the sea

Wish you’d put your hands on me and make your feelings clear

Hey waiter

meet me ‘round the back door, tell me I’ve got it wrong and fuck me up some more

‘Cause I’ve fallen a thousand times but never felt this way before, like I should have met you long ago

Walked with you by my side and had your back through thick and thin

Sickness and health, come what may, and I say-

Hey waiter

pop the damn champagne

None the wiser

you fuck me up again

Hey waiter

tell me you’ll be mine

I’ll give you my life

and fuck you up in kind

I wish I was just a plain white shirt

then you could wear me off to work

and I’d be one of the things you keep close to your heart

soft white cotton wrapped around your heart

(Contrasts have faded now

but color still haunt my mind

And words ripped off from their lines

Make bitter tears flood my eyes

Don’t think I’ll stop my mourning

Don’t I know it’s overdue

Just because I’ve gotten older

None the wiser, I cry for you)

Honey, cutie, sweetie-pie

My darling boy, sweet old times

As long as I keep you in mind

I will remember what love is like

So, don’t think I’ll stop my mourning

Don’t I know it’s overdue

Just because I’ve gotten older

None the wiser, I cry for you

’Cause I always say ’I love you’

when I mean ’turn out the light’

And I say ’let’s run away’

when I just mean ’stay the night’

But the words you want to hear

you will never hear from me

I’ll never say ’happy anniversary’

Never stay to say ’happy anniversary’

Bom-chaka bom-chak 23 verses

And he climbed up a mountain

And he looked around

Some kind of forest

With all these dinosaurs

And he stripped his woman

He stripped her bare

But there was a pterodactyl

There!

[writing-reading-inspiring]

A Maddening World (Peter Parker X Reader) - Chapter One

Summary: (y/n) was only trying to get volunteer hours in order to gain admission into NYU. However, the Stark Mental Institution held more than she bargained for when she meets her patient, Peter Parker. She never planned to get mixed up with someone who is set on the idea that an alien named Thanos snapped half of all living creatures away and made everyone else forget, yet here she is. The universe has a funny way of trying to correct itself.

Chapter One  ~  Chapter Two  ~  Chapter Three

My life loves to be one adventure after another, which is why I was hoping to have a calm summer. Of course, this couldn’t happen. At least it couldn’t once my school counselor told me that I could kiss my dreams of going to NYU down the drain if I don’t get something impressive on my resume.

This is what led me to currently be on my way to the famous Stark Mental Institution with my best friend and life saver, Liz Allen. We're part of a program that takes in young teens from local high schools and gives them a summer volunteer opportunities. It's great on college applications, so why not? We're about 5 minutes away and I still have no idea what I'm going to do. We're supposed to get a talk about how we should go around and help the patients when we get there. Luckily, we’ve been assured that none of the patients that we’ll be working with are dangerous, which is why we’re allowed to be a sort of nurse to them. The silence in the car was thick until Liz broke it. "How do you think it will go?" "I don't know. Good, I hope," I replied, nervously picking at my cuticles. Silence rested over us again until we pulled up to the building. We piled out and I watched as our cab driver blended into the heavy New York traffic. I turn to find a man in a crisp black suit, that looked to be about in his 40's. "Hello, my name is Mr. Hogan, I'm the head of staff and security here," the man spoke, "If you would please follow me."

He turned and walked off into the building. We followed until he stopped in front of the elevator. "On the 4th floor to the right at the end of the hall there is a volunteer break room. There you will find your patient profiles and exactly what to do with them. There should be a schedule that you must follow exactly. Please do not say anything about your patient or their schedule. Each of you have a desk that holds your uniforms. Everything is very simple and straightforward. With both of your recommendations that we’ve received, I’m sure that you’ll be able to handle the two patients. Just be sure to follow your instructions and use common sense. If you have any questions, ask a staff member or me if I’m not too busy. If either of you have any questions, ask now," Mr. Hogan informed us. Neither of us said anything, so Mr. Hogan nodded his head. "If that’s all, I will be leaving you two on your own."

With that, Mr. Hogan walked down the hallway to what I could only presume is his office.

When we walked onto the elevator Liz began to speak, "He seems pretty happy with his job, don’t you think?” I couldn’t help but giggle at her remark.

I made sure to press the button for the 4th floor and we started our ascent.

“Anyway, why do we have to do exactly what the schedule says?" "Probably because they want the patients to be on a schedule and they don't want to disrupt it" I replied to her. Right after I said that the doors open to reveal a long hallway. The walls were white and the floors were marble tile. There were huge windows in the middle. As we were passing by them I could see a massive garden. We reached the end and opened the door that said volunteers only. The room was a decent size, only containing a fridge, two tables with chairs surrounding them, and several desks. We went to the desk with our respective names on them and began rummaging around. I was able to locate my uniform on the top right hand drawer. They weren’t much, just black yoga pants and a blue shirt that had the name of the hospital on it. We also got badges that allowed us to walk around the hospital without being questioned. Liz was first to look at the profile and schedule that we were given. I could see her face goes through different emotions like confusion, surprise, and even anger. “What’s up Liz? You don’t seem too happy,” I told her.

“Oh, it’s nothing, just I was kind of hoping to be able to help my brother,” she told me while raising her head.

“I’m sorry, Liz. I’m sure it’s just company policy though. I mean, you could give special treatment to family members. Anyways, who do you have anyway?”

“Oh, I guess giving the name can’t really put anyone in harm's way. My patients name is Brad Davis. What about you?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “Oh, I haven’t even looked yet hold on.”

I pulled out the manila office folder than was underneath my uniform. I quickly went over it: Name: Peter Parker Age: 18 Gender: Male Race: Caucasian Family: May Parker Emergency Contact: (347)-625-6396 Room: Floor 6 - Room 621 Mental Illness: Major Depression, Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, Delusional Disorder Other disorders: N/A Medication: Two Pills During Each Meal Additional Information: Believes That Man Named Thanos Destroys Half Of The Population & Made It So No One Remembers Schedule: 8:00 - 8:30 ~ Breakfast & Take Pills 8:30 - 9:00 ~ Personal Hygiene 9:00 - 11:00 ~ See Therapist 11:00 - 12:00 ~ Exercise 12:00 - 12:30 ~ Lunch & Take Pills 12:30 - 1:00 ~ Free Time 1:00 - 2:30 ~ Schooling 2:30 - 4:00 ~ Socializing 4:00 - 6:00 ~ See Therapist 6:00 - 6:30 ~ Dinner & Take Pills 6:30 - 7:00 ~ Free Time 7:00 - 8:00 ~ Quiet Hour 8:00 ~ Bed When I was done reading I looked up to find Liz looking at me expectantly. 

“His name is Peter Parker,” I told her.

She nodded her head as I looked at the clock, only to realize that it was already 7:50.

My eyes widened, “We have to go, Liz. I’ll see you tonight or if we run into each other at one point.” We quickly said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. I ran to the elevator and hit the button for floor 6. On the way up I looked over his profile again. I wonder how an 18 year old person can be like this. As soon as the elevator doors open I step out only to run into someone. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," they apologized. "No it's my fault I shouldn't have rushed out," I took a second to look him over and soon realize that he is really cute with brown eyes and black hair, "my name is (y/n)." "Brad Davis" "Well it’s nice to meet you Brad, I’m glad I was able to meet someone new on my first day." "What do you mean?" "Oh, sorry. That was pretty vague. I'm a part of the volunteer program." "Oh, I heard about that. Well it's a shame I can't spend the summer with you. I’m one of the patients whose a part of it" "Yeah, well you get to spend it with someone else who I’m sure is amazing."

“Yeah, but they might not be as pretty,” he told me with a smug smirk.

I couldn’t help but blush at the comment.

Luckily he decided to save me from my misery and ask, "So who do you have?" "Oh, Peter Parker." "Parker, huh? Yeah I'm his friend, cool guy, at least from what I can tell. It's hard to know since he doesn't speak much." "Yeah, well I really should go, but it was nice meeting you." "You too, I would really hurry though, you only have 2 minutes and his room is all the way at the end of the hall to the right." "Thanks, I'll see you around." "I hope so." With that he left, leaving me in front of the elevator door. I snapped back into reality and hurried down the hall, earning me some pitiful glances from nurses and doctors. Brad seems like a nice guy and I'm starting to regret not getting him as my patient, but I'm sure I'll see him around. I couldn't believe I'm crushing on a patient and I've only been here for 10 minutes. I keep walking until I see the number 621 on the plate next to the door. 8:00, perfect timing. As I walked in, what I saw was not what I was expecting. There in a chair sat a boy with messy, yet curly brown hair that looked like he just came in from a windy day and chocolate colored eyes that made you feel as though everything would be alright. He turns his head from the window and gives me a smile that lets me know how much of a puppy dog he truly is. He opens his mouth to utter a word that turned my life around. "Hi"

[tiesandtea]

The London Suede Come To America (1995)

"Some days I wake up and I feel absolutely bullet proof," says Suede mainman Brett Anderson. "When I wrote 'So Young' I wanted a song that was like that... pure raging excitement."

By Michael Goldberg, Addicted To Noise (ATN), San Francisco. Archived here.

ATN was founded by Goldberg, who previously worked as an associate editor and senior writer for Rolling Stone, in 1994. It was one of the first online music magazine that offered audio samples and video interview clips with its editorial content. The first issue came out in December 1994. (x, x)

In the midst of a February/March club tour of America, ATN caught up with Anderson in Detroit for a frank chat about naked men in dog collars, the New British Invasion, the Sex Pistols, and his drug(s) of choice.

Suede leader Brett Anderson is a wisp of a man, who claims not to court controversy despite provocative album cover art and such lyrics as "I want the style of a woman, the kiss of a man." Yet he's caused plenty of controvery. Consider his comment to Details that he's "a bisexual man who's never had a homosexual experience." Sexual ambiguity sells, as has been clear since Elvis appeared on the scene some 40-plus years ago.

Suede bring Bowie's Ziggy Stardust sound (and androgyny) into the '90s. These Brits know how to make hits. "So Young," "The Drowners," "Metal Mickey," and "Animal Nitrate" were brash, infectious pop confections that begged to blast from car radios. They flew up the charts in Britain upon release.

Dog Man Star, the group's second album, is a song suite, an hour of metallic bang-a-gong rockers and ethereal ballads. Anderson can sing as trashy as the late Marc Bolan, but he can also hold his own crooning with the likes of George Michael or, going back some decades, Bing Crosby. And he's not afraid to go against convention­­in fact, he seems to relish it­­ freely admitting that he liked Kriss Kross records and just can't understand the popularity of grunge rockers Pearl Jam and neo-punks Green Day and the Offspring.

Anderson and bassist Mat Osman grew up in Haywards Heath, a bland suburb located 40 miles south of London ("Quite a horrible little place," Anderson told one reporter). His father took odd jobs; in recent years he's driven a taxi. His mother died of cancer in 1989. His father was a fan of Liszt, going so far as to name Anderson's sister Blandine, after the composer's daughter. He first heard both the Beatles and the Sex Pistols playing on his sister's phonograph.

Anderson felt like an outsider from as early as he can remember. And he always wanted to be a rock star. In fact, he says he assumed everyone wanted to be rock stars, and was flabbergasted the first time he met someone who didn't.

Away from the raucous punk and post punk scene of the late '70s and early '80s (he was 7 years old in 1977, the year of the Sex Pistols), Anderson romanticised being in a band, and dreamed. Ask him his influences and he doesn't hesitate: the Beatles, the Stones, Bowie, the Sex Pistols, the Smiths, "and punk bands like Crass."

In 1985, at age 15, Anderson strummed an acoustic guitar and sang on the street for spare change. He says he played in "hundreds" of bands [clearly an overstatement] but eventually landed in London with Osman. They placed an ad in the New Musical Express which brought them guitarist/songwriter Bernard Butler, and some time later replaced their drum machine with Simon Gilbert.

By April of 1992, before they'd even had a record released, Melody Maker put them on the cover, declaring, "The Best New Band In Britain." Funny thing is, they lived up to the hype.

And they've managed to survive their 15 minutes of fame. Anderson expects the group to record another album following spring and summer tours of Asia and Europe, then return to tour America in the winter. The album won't be released until next year.

In the midst of a February/March club tour of America, ATN caught up with Anderson in Detroit for a frank chat about naked men in dog collars, the New British Invasion, the Sex Pistols, and his drug(s) of choice.

Addicted To Noise: I found it interesting that "So Young," off your first album, was about that feeling of invincibilty experienced when one is "so young," a sentiment more recently expressed in the Oasis' hit "Live Forever."

Brett Anderson: "So Young" came from our first flush of success and the desire of everyone around you to kind of settle you down. The desire of people to almost build a rock star career, and to actually take all the joy out of it, the pure joy you get out of being in a band that people love. It was one of those songs that I wrote with an audience in mind. There's certain songs that you have to hear sung back at you. One of the things that I loved about "The Drowners" [their first UK hit], it was written as a quite personal thing but the way the song works best is when you've got 2000 people singing, "You're taking me over." I did have in my head the vision of 5000 people singing back to me with "So Young." I love that. It was supposed to be quite anthemic, it was supposed to be quite stupid. I didn't want to be turned into some kind of intelligent, literate pop star, you know what I mean?

ATN: Why not?

Anderson: I don't think there's any place for intelligence in music. I can't see the point. Music's instinctive and it's natural and it's dumb. It's real dumb.

ATN: What were you trying to communicate in that song?

Anderson: There's just a feeling of absolute invincibility that you get sometimes, especially if you've been in bands a long time and it's taking you a while to actually convince people. Some days I wake up and I feel absolutely bullet proof. I wanted a song that was like that. That was actually almost pure raging excitement.

ATN: The cover of your latest album, Dog Man Star, depicts a young man lying naked on a bed. Who is that?

Anderson: The picture is from a book of photographs I've had for a long time. It's actually the husband of the photographer who took it and it was taken the day after they split up. It's a beautiful picture. It's something I've had for a long time and we've never made a record that really fit it, and then we did. It was one of those things where I took it into the band and everyone went "Ah, that's the one."

ATN: Both album covers are controversial in their own way.

Anderson: They're not meant to be in the slightest. You should see the original of the Suede album. The picture we used is actually cropped. The original full picture, the woman on the right is naked in a wheelchair and the other one is kneeling to kiss her. It's a beautiful picture. And we got the right to use it. But one of the things we did was to phone up the two models in the picture to check if they were all right with it because it's an image that's going to be seen all over the world and one of them didn't want it used. Which is fair enough. It's a twenty year old picture, or whatever. But I just liked the mood of it so we cropped it. But it wasn't intended to be controversial. I mean one of the things people always say is it's so androgynous. Which is really weird, cause in the original you can tell it's two women. But anyone who is shocked by two women kissing in 1995 is a fucking half-wit.

"If we wanted to be controversial we'd have called the album I fucked dogs," says Anderson. "It's fucking easy to be controversial and difficult to be good."

ATN: Yeah, but that's what's so interesting particularly about America. I've lived in San Francisco all my life and in San Francisco, as you know, is a very sexually liberated city. But you go to Kansas, or some of these places you go through when you tour, and it's like the Stone Age.

Anderson: I know. America is definitely like three or four different countries. No, there was no intention to be controversial. I'm not really interested in being controversial. If we wanted to be controversial we'd have called the album I fucked dogs. It's fucking easy to be controversial and difficult to be good.

ATN: In putting two women kissing on the cover of that album, what did you want to say?

Anderson: Nothing. It's a beautiful image. I don't give a fuck about things like that, what people will think. One of the funny things about that is you had all these people phoning me up going, "Yeah, we think we're offended by your album cover but we're not sure. Cause we don't know what it is." Oh, well it's a man kissing a woman. "Oh." Only kidding, it's two women. "Oh, we're offended then." No, no I was joking. It's actually a man and a woman. "Oh we're not offended then." It's the same fucking picture. It's not for me to think about. I'm not going to think about it.

ATN: But you got that kind of reaction to the first one and then you put out Dog Man Star. You're saying you weren't courting controversy with that cover?

Anderson: Not in the slightest. It's because we come from Britain where no one gives a shit. Really. And to think that a semi-naked man is in any way controversial is one of the great horrors of this century. You should have seen the original fucking cover for Dog Man Star, man.

ATN: What was that like?

Anderson: It's from One Hundred and Twenty Days In Sodom . You know that film? Passolini?

ATN: I haven't seen that.

Anderson: It's fantastic. It was the naked man in a dog collar snarling at the camera. That was a fucking brilliant picture but we couldn't get the rights to that. So perhaps we should have gone with that and then I could be discussing controversy with you. I don't think it's a big deal. There are people who are professionally outraged nowadays . That's their job. But no one's actually outraged. They just think they ought to be.

ATN: It's a position they take.

Anderson: Right. It's my job to be outraged by a naked man. And it's the woman over there whose job it is to be outraged by a naked woman.

ATN: Do you think there's a New British Invasion really going on right now? Can it be compared to what happened with the original "British Invasion" in the '60s? And do you think that that's what's going to happen?

Anderson: No I don't think so. It's all very well for a bunch of people in the media to get excited about it, but a British invasion is when British bands start selling a lot of records in the States, and at the moment British bands aren't selling any records.

ATN: It seems to me that some of the bands haven't been getting the kind of shot that they should get over here.

Anderson: We've certainly felt like that. It's always been quite strange for us 'cause the records have kind of leapt out everywhere else, all over Europe and Japan. The records just sell more and more each time. But we've found that American radio is pretty hard going. And radio and MTV are pretty much what make you over here.

ATN: You're over here, you're touring. Are you feeling like there's any kind of change yet in the reception?

Anderson: Absolutely. It's probably different for us because we've got pretty much a hardcore cult following over here. So we've never had a problem in the US. It's always been very comfortable for us. We've always had a very good time here. Whether or not that translates into anything kind of mainstream, we'll have to see. There's definitely a different musical climate in England and a different musical climate in America. I don't think the bands have ever been less connected. And I think that's a real shame. I think all the great music in the world has been universal music. I'm not really interested in flying the flag for Britain. I don't give a shit, really. I'd like to make records that turn the world on. That everyone wanted. I think the whole thing is a bit of a red herring.

ATN: What are you saying?

Anderson: The whole idea of British Invasions and American renaissances. It does away with the concept of people just making good records.

ATN: There are some really great English bands right now. Suede, Oasis, Bush, Elastica...

Anderson: I think definitely the British music scene has fucking woken up a little bit and realized that you can't just sit around and make cool records for your mates. But I think there's a long ways to go. And things are still pretty divided between Britain and the US. There's no way you could hear a record and say, "I'm not sure which country that comes from." That's quite a shame, I think.

ATN: One problem is that people in America aren't really getting exposed to the new British rock & roll.

Anderson: That's the frustrating thing. I don't mind being hated. There's loads of places we go where people have heard us and they despise us. Yeah, it's really frustrating to know that people just haven't heard of you. And the real divisions in American radio. For a while I spent 24 hours a day listening to alternative radio. I think it's horrifying [the way bands are pigeonholed]. I think it's completely un-American. And I think it's a real problem for a lot of British bands, 'cause a lot of British bands fall between the genres. I mean I don't think of us as an alternative band and we'd sound pretty exotic on alternative radio. But then if you try to get us on Top 40 radio, they say we're too alternative. The problem is if you don't immediately fit into something quite comfortable. American radio has become more and more compartmentalized, which is a shame because it's a totally un-American attitude. One of the things that Americans have always been respected for is the breadth of what they're into. America has been the place where people like Black Sabbath and they like Portishead. I think it's quite sad that it's actually being carved up, kind of like demographic radio.

ATN: Dog Man Star seems more introspective, with a lot more ballads and slower material than the first album.

Anderson: A lot of changes between this album and the first one are just to do with having the time and the money to make the record that we always wanted to make. The first record is filled up with live tracks and things we've been playing for a couple of years. And when you're starting out you write big storming rockers that actually grab people's attention. You're desperate to be heard. Whereas this one we knew people were actually going to listen to it. It's a bit more subtle. We wanted to do something that you could really just lose yourself in, that you could dive into. And we wanted to actually make an album rather than a collection of singles. We sat and wrote it as an album. You know, we wrote the songs in one batch and all of the songs are like little cousins of each other. And it's supposed to be a whole album that you can actually live in and from the minute it turns on you just get swept away by it. There are a lot of changes of mood in it and a lot of changes of pace. Like one long song with an introduction, verses and choruses and even an outro.

Anderson: But I don't think it's more introspective. I think it's less introspective.

ATN: Really?

Anderson: Yeah, I think it takes on the world a bit more. I think the record takes the world on, whereas the first one was probably what was happening in our heads. This one lives in the real world.

ATN: Give me an example of that.

Anderson: Something like "We Are the Pigs" or "The Asphalt World." They're not about just what's going on in my head. They're about the people around me and the world about me and the city around me and the country around me.

ATN: Did you go somewhere to write the album?

Anderson: I did. I was living in a place called Highgate. It's a very strange place. It's a beautiful little bit of London. It's like the 14th century or something. It's got like a village green and people have rabbit hutches in their gardens and it's between two of the fucking roughest bits of London. I basically just shut myself in a bare white room for about three months and I didn't do anything but just sit and write. It's quite an inspiring place because it's very quiet and very calm but you're seconds away from real degradation and squalor. I find it quite inspiring. I need a bit of calm to write. I don't need calm in any other part of my life. But to write, I like to just sit back and let it wash over me.

ATN: Talk a bit about the lyrics on this album, and the songs.

Anderson: I think a lot of it is very blank. A lot blanker than the first one. For the first one, I used to sit down and actually slave over them and change words and did like 50 drafts. But a song like "The Asphalt World" is really simply written and it's written about kind of what I did during the day. I wanted to write something that was quite simple, that was just about me and the people around me. Things like that and "The 2 of Us" are almost like reflections on the day before. Whereas something like "Daddy's Speeding," that pretty much came to me in a dream. I had a dream that I was sent back in time to save James Dean from the car crash. We ended up getting loaded together and I didn't bother. I could have saved him.

"Still Life" came from living in that kind of place, being surrounded by housewives and incredibly bored people. It's one of the strange things that people think our lifestyle is always quite frenetic but it's actually pretty much like a housewife's a lot of the time. You know, 23 hours a day it's pure boredom. And I was trying to write a song that was about me and about them. I pottered down to the shops in the middle of the day and would see these incredibly bored people actually become almost completely disconnected from life.

Kind of like fading alcoholic housewives. And "We Are The Pigs" is probably about the division between those people and fucking two minutes down the road, people living in Archways and the way there's no connection between the two.

ATN: I want to get your opinion on some of the other English bands. What do you think of Oasis?

Anderson: I think they're all right. Yeah. I don't know their music very well but I think they're quite exciting, which is good for a English band. I think they sound pretty natural.

ATN: You've heard "Live Forever"?

Anderson: Yeah, I think it's all right. A lot of the bands that people always ask me about I'm not particularly interested in.

ATN: What do you listen to?

Anderson: I like Beatles and the Stones. I like a lot of modern stuff, dance music, soul, rap. I like people who can actually sing. That turns me on. I like Prince. I like a lot of rappers because they've got kind of a hypnotic quality to them. There's too many people who are kind of singing essay writers. I'm quite turned on by people who have the power in their voice, whether I agree with what they say or not. Perhaps Jim Morrison or Nick Cave, who have a bit of authority, who have a bit of power to them. It doesn't matter what they say, it's the way they say it that's quite important to me.

ATN: Any particular rappers.

Anderson: Oh, Snoop Doggy Dogg.

ATN: Yeah, he's great.

Anderson: The thing is I don't agree with anything he says but you have to listen to him. I like Kris Kross as well. And people like Coolio. And who does that "Regulate"?

ATN: Warren G.

Anderson: I like a really smooth sound, I like people who can really sing, you know? That's almost disappeared. A lot of modern singing, a lot of rock singing and soul singing, it's all technique, all showing off. It's wailing and howling and hitting the high notes. I like people who can whisper in your ear instead of shouting at you.

ATN: Initially there was a lot of talk about Suede in terms of sort of reviving the glam thing and the Bowie thing? What did you think about that?

Anderson: I never, never understood it. I have no idea what was going on. I've always hated glam rock. I thought it was appalling. I'm not really interested in fake music and it was very fake music. I was a bit horrified by it all.

ATN: Did the Bowie references make sense?

Anderson: Oh yeah. I'm a massive fan. It frustrates me when people go over the top about it, but I think he's great.

ATN: What music influenced you when you were young?

Anderson: I suppose the punk stuff. If we're talking about what turned me on to music, what made me pick up a guitar. It was kind of like Crass and people like that. I like Sex Pistols and stuff, but I come a bit late to it.

"Anyone who is shocked by two women kissing in 1995 is a fucking half-wit," says Anderson.

ATN: And who else?

Anderson: A lot of tough punk. Real annoying your parents music, mixed with that, stuff my sister listened to: Beatles and Stones and Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd. And then after that, I suppose when I was old enough to buy records, it was the music of the day: The Jam and the Specials and Japan and people like that, just stuff you heard on the radio, basically. My musical education is not a list of cool, cult artists I spent years trudging around record shops to find. It's stuff you hear on the radio when you're having a tea on a Sunday night. That's where my love of music comes from, big pop music.

ATN: When things first broke for Suede, how old were you?

Anderson: About 23.

ATN: How did you handle it?

Anderson: It was easy, it wasn't that much of a problem. It really isn't. You can imagine what it's like being incredibly famous. [laughs] You can! It's like any other life, but you get recognized more often. You just have to wash your hair a bit more often, you can't buy as much pornography.

ATN: Look at the Kurt Cobain situation.

Anderson: That's a very different thing. He was a lot more famous than I was, and to his credit, one of the things that really saddens me about that is he spent a lot of time saying he was deeply unhappy with success. And everyone thought it was an image. That's one of the things that's sad about fakes in music. They actually ruin it for anyone who is telling the truth. Because if it wasn't for the fact that here's generations of people who have thought it's cool to be tortured, perhaps people would have taken him a bit more seriously when he said he hated himself and that he hated what he was doing. I look at like Sinead O'Connor now. I read something she said and I feel horrified for her, really sorry for her, because she's saying that she can't handle it and she's having a terrible time. And everyone thinks it's a joke, everyone thinks it's her image. And that really saddens me and that's why I've always tried to be blatantly honest in interviews.

ATN: Why did you call this album Dog Man Star?

Anderson: Its just three of my favorite words, really. It's just something that a lot of the songs are about. Almost like the three stages of man, the three things you can be. I feel very dog-like at the moment.

ATN: Sort of like the animal state to whatever state we are in at the moment to a spiritually enlightened state?

Anderson: Perhaps not a spiritually enlightened state, but I've always been attracted to people who actually think of themselves as stars, people who actually treat life like a film or a book. I don't mean in the sense of people who are actually in the public eye. There's a lot of people who have sold 60 million records who you see 50 times a day who don't have the faintest star quality to them, and then there's a lot of people working gas stations, they just have that aura around them? They just make things happen out of everyday life.

ATN: In the first song on the album, you make reference to Winterland, you make reference to introducing the band, which I took you to be talking about the Band, you know, Robbie Robertson's The Band.

Anderson: [Laughs] No.

ATN: That's where they played when they played their first performance.

Anderson: I was thinking the Sex Pistols' final gig.

ATN: But that's pretty wild. I was at that show at Winterland, actually.

Anderson: You're kidding.

ATN: It was probably the greatest show that I ever saw.

Anderson: I was watching it just recently. I've got bits of it on video. It's something I've seen about a million times. That bit at the end. [Starts to deliver lyrics in a monotonal Johnny Rotten voice] "This is no fun/ No fun/ At all."

ATN: People were throwing money and all kinds of stuff onto the stage. Rotten was just picking the stuff up. And the audience was just the most bizarre audience. It was a mixture of people that were totally into the band and people who had come to see the freak show.

Anderson: Yeah totally. I've always been fascinated by them and by that gig and just the way they managed to compress everything into a year. Or in the case of that show, anything you could ever ask for a gig in three-quarters of an hour. I just love the idea of a final moment. Of a band just being in the present.

ATN: The thing was, though, when you were there, the music sounded so great and so powerful. Some people tended to say, oh, the Sex Pistols couldn't play that good...

Anderson: Oh they fucking rule! We were listening to the album last night on the bus. If you listen to it now, it just sounds like the greatest rock album in the world.

ATN: Never Mind the Bollocks . . .

Anderson: Yeah. It's so completely almost like year zero it's ridiculous. It's like listening to Chuck Berry.

ATN: Exactly.

Anderson: Or the Rolling Stones. It's just a fucking absolutely great melodic rock album. All the things that people say about them are absolutely untrue. There's only one criteria for musicianship, as far as I'm concerned, and that's whether you can get across what you're saying with your instrument and with your voice. I'm not interested in any kind of technique or anything like that. To me, a great musician is someone that you understand what they feel when they pick up a guitar and there's people who can do that with three chords and there's people who can play entire symphonies and have never moved a human soul.

ATN: All these guitar players who can play scales up the wazzoo, but so what?

Anderson: The real problem is, you've got someone like Sex Pistols, they come along and people mistake it. People think that the way they played was what was important, people actually think that if they can replicate the sound as raw or amateurish as that, that they'll somehow be as great as them. And it has nothing to do with that, it has nothing to do with the level of musicianship. It has to do with the fact that they actually send an electric shock through you. And there's people who do that with incredibly complicated music and there's people who do that with incredibly simple music.

ATN: How old were you when you were exposed to "God Save the Queen" and "Anarchy . . . ?"

Anderson: That's the strange thing. I was just really too young. It was '76 when that happened, which is 20 years ago now. I was about 9 or 10, so I wasn't a punk. I couldn't get to any punk gigs or anything. So we just got these ripples in the suburbs, this incredibly frustrating feeling 'cause you knew you were getting everything like second or third hand and you knew you were missing out. Luckily they were one of the few bands where the records were so fucking powerful that it didn't make any difference, you could actually plug into it. Half of my life I've kind of lived the pop dream, wanting to be in a band, and it comes from that, it comes from being cut off from it and just having these little bits of vinyl which were my only connection to it. It's not like nowadays where any kind of fucking two-bit thing makes it, you see it everywhere. It was in the news. I can remember for a few weeks where that was the news. You know what I mean, the Sex Pistols.

ATN: Was it the Sex Pistols or what was it that actually made you make the decision, OK, I want to do this?

Anderson: It's one of those things that's always seemed completely natural to me. It's almost the other way around. I can remember the first time I met someone who didn't want to be in a band. And I can remember thinking it was the most bizarre thing. I thought they were making it up. I just assumed that everyone wanted to be in a band and a lot of people settled for something else.

I guess that punk was really important just because the first time you pick up a guitar, you're not going to be able to play "Brown Sugar," but you are going to be able to play stuff like "Bodies" and "Submission." I used to be in a punk band called The Pigs. We played these kind of like bastardized Sex Pistols and Fall songs about the countryside. I mean they actually connected you to music.

One of the big problems of coming from the kind of place I come from is there's no history, there's no music, you can't imagine yourself as a pop star. You couldn't say, "I want to be in a band." There weren't any bands. There wasn't a local scene or anything. The nearest big town is Brighton and that's never produced anything. One of the things about the Smiths I loved when I was growing up was just the kind of obvious ordinariness of them and the fact that they were making beautiful, important music and they were just obviously kind of like the square kid in the back of the class.

ATN: Haywards Heath is where you grew up, right?

Anderson: Yes.

ATN: But that's 40 miles from London. That doesn't seem that far to me, but it sounds like it felt like it was a million miles away from anything cool.

Anderson: Oh yeah, completely. It's near enough, I used to go up to London when I was 15, 16, but kind of as a complete tourist. I used to wander around the streets with my mouth open. I didn't get to do anything. I just went to wander around and soak it all in. I think that's quite important to be cut off from it, because you keep your romantic view of it intact.

ATN: You romanticize it.

Anderson: People actually from London, they're a bunch of fucking, cynical old farts, they really are. They've all seen it all before, they've all been backstage. They've already seen the downside of it and we never really had that. We still kind of actually believed in the band. And I think a lot of big city people just don't. They don't believe in the power of music.

ATN: About how old were you when you had The Pigs?

Anderson: The Pigs. I guess I must have been about 15.

ATN: Was that your first band?

Anderson: I've had hundreds. Bedroom bands. I was in a band called Suave and the Elegant. They did kind of Beatles covers. None of us could play. Just farting around. And then, when I met Mat [Osman], it was the same thing, we couldn't play. We had a drum machine in the bedroom and we'd do these dreadful fucking songs.

ATN: How come you parted ways with guitarist/songwriter Bernard Butler?

Anderson: He just didn't really enjoy being in the band anymore. There was just no point having anyone in the band who doesn't think it's the greatest thing on earth, you know what I mean?

ATN: So basically he got bored with it or frustrated with it?

Anderson: I think he wanted to do everything himself. He's very musical and he just wanted to sit and play guitar and write songs. And if you want to be in a big band, you actually have to work at it. You have to be singer and musician and businessman and politician and interviewee and all these things at the same time.

ATN: Do you worry at all that not having his musical input is going to affect things like coming up with material?

Anderson: Not in the slightest. We're working a lot faster that we ever have done.

ATN: And you like the material as much?

Anderson: Yeah, certainly. I'm really excited about it. The thing is, I'm writing stuff on my own and I'm writing stuff with [new guitarist] Richard Oakes and I'm writing stuff with the band. Richard is vomiting stuff out.

ATN: What makes you mad?

Anderson: I guess absolute waste. Just the realms of crappy fucking records. Piles of dogshit. You could get rid of 95% of the records that were ever released and no one would be any the worse off. I'd like to see MTV close down for an hour and go, I'm sorry there's nothing good to put on. Or a music magazine saying, we're not coming next week because nothing happened.

ATN: It seems like there's always been this classic tension between the creative side­­someone trying to make great rock & roll­­and the record company's side, where it's a business trying to make money. And it's like they don't care whether it's the Sex Pistols or whether it's Journey.

Anderson: At the same time, it's very easy to just be purely musical and just sit at home all day and make beautiful records that no one hears. I can't get away from the fact that if we make a record now, because of record companies, 90% of the world's population can get a hold of it in a week and that's a fucking fantastic thing. That's technology being used in an incredible way. You can't knock it. If you're going to make a record to communicate to people, then you should make sure people fucking hear it. I think that's really important. I don't want to just sit home and say, we just write music for ourselves and if anyone else likes it, it's a bonus.

ATN: One of the reasons that there's so many crappy records is because the record companies don't know. They're trying to find something...

Anderson: They're doing a job. I'm very aware of that. Every single person you meet in the entire fucking rock-and-roll industry is doing their job and they're looking out for number one. It is a fucking industry and you've just to be completely aware of that. That's why you have to be quite a tight unit as a band because it's the four of you against the rest of the world. However much there's people around us who have our best interests at heart, at the end of the day we're the band and we know what's best. We have pretty much absolute control over Suede. We have more control than pretty much any band out there today.

ATN: Do you make the business decisions?

Anderson: Yeah. Everything follows from the records. Basically, when it comes to selling, we leave the record company to it. That's what they're there for. They're the salesmen. But we're one of the few bands where no one hears our record until we've finished it. And then we come out with a finished record, finished artwork. And we hand it over, we say these are going to be the singles, and we let them to the bits that I have no fucking interest in. Like marketing it.

ATN: When you handed a record over to them, have they ever come back to you and said, "Oh, we think you should do this or we think you should get that song remixed?"

Anderson: [laughs] They wouldn't fucking dare. I mean we listen to them. Every now and then the American record company will say, "I think this would make a great single in America." And we have listened to them in the past. But pretty much anything we actually care about, we do ourselves. No, no one's ever suggested that to us. No one's ever suggested remixing or anything like that. I think they know that it would be a terrible, terrible mistake.

ATN: You've toured America now, this is the third time?

Anderson: Yeah.

ATN: What do you think about this place, given that you've been here enough times that you have some sense of it?

Anderson: I love the place. I do love the place. There's a real openness to it that you don't get in lot in other countries.

ATN: What are some of the specific things that you like?

Anderson: I've had some of the best nights of my life kind of lost in strange American cities. Just being swept along. People are completely receptive to, I don't know, letting loose. Getting loaded and getting loose. Just because there's a kind of dumbness to the place. There is! Which I really like. Let's just see what happens, that kind of thing. England can be a very claustrophobic place, especially if you're vaguely well-known and I don't get that in America at all. I find the opportunities for getting yourself in trouble are vast here.

ATN: Can you be more specific?

Anderson: Not without perjuring myself at a later date. [laughs] I like the people here. I like the fact that people will actually try anything. And I like the way it's very fast moving. It really suits a band on tour. In Britain and Europe it takes kind of six months to get to know people so there's no point in meeting people. Whereas in America you meet people and they're like, "Hi, I'm Cindy, I was abused as a child and I'm a Gemini." And you're off, you know what I mean?

ATN: What's your goal for Suede?

Anderson: Just to make a string of absolutely great records. That was my goal for Suede when I was 12 years old. Doesn't change. One of the only things that doesn't change. To make just an absolute realm of fantastic records that people love.

ATN: Do you have aspirations of having the biggest band in the world?

Anderson: No. I want to be the best band in the world.

ATN: How did you come up with the name?

Anderson: It's just a beautiful, sensual word. It sounds really nice and looks really good. It's a sensual thing rather than intellectual. I've probably gone on many times about how Suede is the animal skin around a human body. But that all came later, when I was getting fucking [laughs] pretentious in interviews. It was just a sensuous, sensual word.

ATN: How did you feel about having to be the London Suede?

Anderson: It stank. I think it's shit.

ATN: What do you think of some of the American bands that have made it in recent years ranging from Pearl Jam to more recently, the Offspring and Green Day?

Anderson: I don't get it. I wish I did. I wish I could at least have understood it but didn't like it. But I just don't get it at all. I'm completely amused by it.

ATN: Are there any American bands that you do like?

Anderson: I like that Sheryl Crow record a lot. I like Perry Farrell, I think he's pretty cool. I like R.E.M.

ATN: You do?

Anderson: Yeah, I do like R.E.M. a lot.

ATN: What do you think of Monster?

Anderson: I think they got away with fucking murder.

ATN: Oh really?

Anderson: I understand it, though. I really understand it. It would be really easy to make another record like the last one and it's quite brave to make a record that you know is going to sell less. I don't think it's a particularly great album at all. I'd love to have been in the business long enough where people actually give you the benefit of the doubt whereas we're in the situation where people always assume the worst. We're always fighting for people to like our records. Whereas I think there are a few fucking statesmen in the world, like Paul fucking Weller in Britain, just because he's been around so long, if he makes a quarter of the way decent record, it's kind of like the second coming. Back to R.E.M., I just like the way they can be that big and that simple. I can't think of another band who've got that big and have actually used it to get simpler and more direct instead of turning into something enormous.

ATN: Speaking of the second coming, do you have anything to say about the Stone Roses' return after so many years of fucking 'round or whatever they were doing?

Anderson: Musically, it's great. They're probably some of the best musicians in Britain and they can actually fucking play. But one of the reasons I really liked the first album is I thought they actually had some songs. And I don't think they have on this one. But that's my personal taste. I like songs. And I don't think this is a very songy album.

ATN: How do drugs affect what you do?

Anderson: Apart from making me get up late for interviews, not very much. It's just something I do. It's not kind of a building brick in Suede, it's something I do personally.

ATN: Do you find it creatively stimulating?

Anderson: Very, very rarely. Not normally. When I wrote this album, I wasn't even drinking. I just locked myself in a white room for 14 hours a day. Pepped myself up with ginseng. Very occasionally I feel inspired by drugs, but not very often. And when we play live, it's funny, when we play live, none of us even have a beer before we go on. We played before 70,000 last year at a festival and we were the only people straight there.

ATN: So is it more a way of getting outside of yourself?

Anderson: I do it for exactly the same reasons that everyone else does. It's a good laugh. It makes me feel in different ways but that's no different from the reasons why millions of people who take drugs. I'd like to say it's some kind of creative elixir but to be honest, most drugs are incredibly uncreative. Cocaine is the least creative drug I can think of. Dope is fucking pointless. It's not a musical thing at all.

ATN: What's your drug of choice?

Anderson: What's the drug of choice? [laughs] I'll take anything, man. I don't really like slow drugs. I don't like drugs that slow you down. I don't like downers. I don't like anything that makes you fucking buzz off to a dream world. I like things that heighten....

ATN: In other words you don't like heroin.

Anderson: No, not particularly. I'm not really interested in dream drugs. I like things that light up your life, pep you up. Ginseng is my drug of choice. And Guinness. [laughs] Any drug that begins with "g," basically.

ATN: At certain points, do you sit back and say, this is amazing that I've been able to achieve what we have achieved?

Anderson: Regularly. Regularly I look in the mirror and say, I'm the luckiest man alive. Yeah, it hasn't lost its wonder for me at all. You can get worn away sometimes, but there's always the moment when you listen back to a track or the moment you play a great gig where you feel like Superman, actually feel like 500 feet tall.

ATN: In terms of the state of rock & roll right now, what's going on from your point of view?

Anderson: I think it's quite inspiring. I think it's quite inspiring in Britain and I think Americans seem quite inspired about the whole thing. I think Britain's producing some halfway decent records for once and I think people are actually astounded that Britain has risen and is beginning to get off its fucking ass. I think the American scene has totally been shook up by cheap bands and the fact that record companies are running around like headless chickens because money doesn't equal success anymore. I think that's great.

What I don't like at the moment is the kind of cult, alternative elements of it, the way everyone is playing to these tiny little demographic audiences and there's no kind of connection across any kind of cultures or even across a fucking big lake like the Atlantic.

ATN: When Elvis Presley died, Lester Banks wrote about Elvis and he said that Elvis was the last rock star that connected everybody.

Anderson: The really big problem is every band in the entire world is living in the shadows of the Beatles and there ain't going to be no more Beatles unfortunately because everyone knows too much and everyone has more access. So people can have music that completely fits them, and you end up with these bizarre musical sub-cultures that are just aimed at one percent of the population. And you never can have another Beatles and I find that incredibly sad. Because that is the blueprint, I think, for every band, for every decent band, to try and make records that turn the whole world on, records that anyone can connect with.

ATN: You really believe in the positive effect that a great rock-and-roll record can have on people.

Anderson: Certainly. Even if it's the most stupid record and it does nothing more for you than brighten up your day for four minutes when it comes on the car radio, it's still more powerful than the other art forms.

ATN: At its best, what do you think it can do?

Anderson: At its absolute best, I think it can totally empower people and totally make people feel like they're wearing a suit of armor and strengthen people and make people feel above the shit of the world. Even at its worst, it can be fucking great. I think a dumb-assed pop song, the dumbest of the dumb-assed pop song is probably more important than any fucking painting done since the war or any sculpture or anything like that.

ATN: Why do you feel that way?

Anderson: It affects people in a way that those things don't. It affects people in a totally natural, physical, emotional way. Not in an intellectual way. It's democratic. It's the only fucking democratic art form left. You can get it anywhere. One of the great things about music is it does belong to everyone and that great songs just come to live in the air. That's why I like the radio so much. That was my first introduction to music. Every now and then I turn it on and think, what a fantastic thing it is. Just that you can have these things all the time. You don't have to go to a fucking gallery, you don't have to pay anything. There just isn't any equivalent for any other art form and it's fucking cheap, music. It must be said. You can get yourself an original Suede for what, about $15?

ATN: Now, it seems like, in terms of a CD, it lasts for quite a long time.

Anderson: Oh, that's a typical fucking American attitude. They always want to know how long it lasts. It is. It's the only place I've ever been in the world where they come first and ask you at a gig, how long are you going to play? Who gives you a shit, you know what I mean?

ATN: I know what you mean. Like a shitty band could play for 3 hours, who cares and like 10 minutes of greatness....

Anderson: I saw The Jesus and Mary Chain when they played for 20 minutes and they were fucking incredible!

ATN: The first time they came to America they played at a little club called the I-Beam in San Francisco and it was amazing.

Anderson: I can just imagine in America someone going, "That was incredible, why don't you play longer?" People always want a fucking encore.

[lieuwrites]

Going Against The Tide | Wen Junhui | Chapter 1

Title: Going Against The Tide | Chapter 1

Pairing: Wen Junhui  x Reader

Synopsis: Prince Junhui is forced into an unwanted arranged marriage and must find a way to go against his parent’s wishes.

Genre/Warnings: non-idol!AU, royal!AU, enemies to friends to lovers, female reader, swearing, angst, fluff, Svt side characters (Joshua, Minghao + mention of others), (I might add onto this in future chapters  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows) 

Words: 4.6k

POV: Third Person

Requested: No

CH.1 ||

There are many rules to being a princess. She must sit up straight, walk a certain way, talk a certain way, but most importantly, what a princess must know to do is rule a kingdom. She must be ready to step up to the throne by the age of 20 and must rule with the utmost prudence that her kingdom deserves. She must be a strong leader who knows what’s best for her people and most importantly, she must know where her place is beside a king.

“That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard,” the princess spun around in her desk chair, her legs hanging over the backrest and her hair hanging down to the floor. She looked up at Joshua, who was hired by the king and queen a few years back to coach their daughter. He stood beside her desk with a large textbook under his arm and a look of annoyance on his face.

“What was the first thing I said, huh? Your ears are probably blocked with all the blood rushing to your head.”

She moved from her upside down position into a form that one would deem ‘proper’.

“Josh, we’ve been over this for years now. I know how to act like a royal, I just choose not to,” (y/n) stated in a factual tone.

“You are turning 21 soon and by then you will need to be ready to step up to the throne whenever your parents deem you worthy,” He walked over to the girl, placed the heavy textbook onto the top of her head and let it sit while he turned to look through the rest of the princess’ work that she had completed and left on her desk.

“This is so stupid, the fact that I can balance a book on my head has nothing to do with posture. I can do this just as well with my back slouched as much as possible.”

“Oh I know.” Joshua turned back to the girl and tapped the book with the pen in his hand, causing it to wobble. She tried her best to steady the book on her head but to no avail, it fell onto the tiled floor, taking the princess along with it. “I just do it cause you look like an idiot.”

The relationship between the two was what (y/n) treasured most. He was definitely her best friend --she insists it's by default due to him being the only person close to her age that she was able to interact with on a daily basis-- and they knew each other better than anyone else.

The girl took her time to get up, momentarily savouring the coldness of the tiles against her skin. She looked at her work from behind Joshua and watched as he marked the test he had given her.

“40/45. You lost marks for calling the system ‘a stupid mass of shit’ and labeling the council ‘a group of bored cunts’. I also took a mark off because of that very unflattering drawing of me you added on the back.” He held up the paper and she giggled at her picture of him squished under a fallen bookshelf.

“You can’t say I was wrong with my answers though.”

“I can and I did. The answers to this stuff isn’t what you think is right, it’s what your parents, the council and I think is right. And you’re way too old to be acting this way.”

“Well you’re way too young to be acting like you have a permanent stick up your ass.”

The council consisted of the 10 kings and queens who ruled the five major kingdoms of the land. It was formed years ago and due to the power each kingdom held together, they took it upon themselves to bring other smaller lands under their reign. That is where (y/n)’s kingdom fell, under the reign of the council.

It had been a dream of her parents that their land would one day be apart of the council but the only way to do that was if they were to take over new land through war to make their kingdom grow larger and more influential. There was another option that the princess never had to think about and that was marriage. If she were to marry one of the sons of council, she would automatically be taken into the high-class circle.

But the princess was set on ruling by herself. She loved her people and knew that no prince would ever see them how she did.

She sat in the palace gardens tending to the pansies that Hyosung, the palace gardener, had recommended she started with. They weren’t the prettiest things she had ever seen but she was ensured that ‘they were beginner flowers’ and she would eventually graduate to something that required medium expertise.

“Princess, if you keep watering those they’ll die.”

“It’s just that I forgot to water them yesterday and I’m trying to make up for that,” (y/n) explained, continuing to sprinkle water over her plants.

“Don’t overcompensate for your lack of love,” Hyosung said, walking over to take the watering can from the girl, “someone else will take care of them when you don’t.”

“That’s pretty deep for a couple of flowers,” the princess mumbled while rolling her eyes.

“What I’m saying is,” Hyosung paused, splashing some water on the girl in front of her, “I watered them when I noticed you hadn’t.”

“Do you ever get tired of your cryptic way of speaking?”

Hyosung shook her head and walked away to pack the tools back into the tool box, leaving the princess to stare down at her small flower patch. There were only 7 flowers currently growing but she saw them as a start to her own beautiful garden that she wouldn’t have to share with anyone.

As Hyosung returned from putting her tools away, she hurriedly bowed towards the princess and left the room, which was odd since it was rare that she would bow to (y/n). It wasn’t until the princess had turned around that she knew, it was because her parents had entered the greenhouse, wanting to talk to their daughter.

“Your Majesty! What matter has taken you off of your almighty thrones and brought you here to the lowly palace gardens?” (Y/n) spoke mockingly. It wasn’t that she didn’t like her parents, she loved them for a fact, but they were the reason she wanted to start her own garden within the royal greenhouse. They had told her ‘it is not a princesses duty to toil in the dirt’ which made her even more inclined to start gardening.

The king spoke her name in a warning tone, obviously not in a joking mood. Their daughter just smiled and walked up to them, giving each of them the tightest hug she could. Her mother giggled at her antics but her father’s scowl only grew.

“Is that how you greet a king and queen?” He asked rhetorically.

“Only if they’re my parents,” she answered with a wink.

“A small bow will be fine. It’s unbecoming of a young lady—“

“—So,” (y/n) exclaimed, cutting her father off, “Are you going to tell me why you guys are here or do I have to guess?”

The queen’s smile faltered a little and she looked over to her husband, signalling for him to speak up. If there was any bad news to be given to their daughter, the queen always looked to the king to give it.

He cleared his throat and spoke, giving his daughter, in his words, the ‘good news’. The princess blanked out for a bit. She heard the word ‘marriage’, ‘council’ and ‘crowned prince.’ It wasn’t until a minute later that she realised her mother was calling her name.

She blinked a few times, snapping herself out of her trance. “The crowned prince of one of the council kingdoms is getting married?”

Her mother hesitated, a bit confused as to where her daughter’s mind was at. “Well you’re not wrong, so I guess...”

“Well, congratulations to him!” She gave a wide smile and attempted to leave but the king had caught her wrist just as she walked by him.

“(Y/n), you’re not listening. We have been chosen out of the many kingdoms to wed our daughter to the crowned prince. You are marrying the prince.”

She snatched her wrist away and crossed her arms, her brows furrowed and a deep scowl on her face, almost mimicking her father’s seemingly permanent facial expression.

“No. I don’t want to.”

“This isn’t a matter of if you want to or not, it’s a matter of—“

“I said, I. Don’t. Want. To.”

The king raised his voice, speaking over his daughter, “You are to accompany us to their kingdom, meet the prince and you will marry him! Are we clear about that?”

Their glares challenged each other, waiting for the other to falter. It wasn’t until the princess’ gaze shifted to her mother’s pleading face that she yielded, accepting her fate. She stormed from the greenhouse, dragging her feet as she walked past her father causing dirt to kick up from the ground and soil his clean robes.

“So that’s it? You’re going to meet the prince and then marry him?” Joshua asked from his place at his desk. The girl was fuming when she stormed into his room and threw herself on his bed, screaming into the mattress in frustration.

“No. I take it I have a day or two at most before I leave, so before then, you and I will run away and start our own family somewhere far from here.” Her words were obviously a joke, to make light of the matter, but Josh believed that if she got really desperate, she would definitely use that plan as a last resort.

“Good plan, one problem, I really like living in a palace,” The man responded.

“Then let’s get married! And you can live in this palace, sitting by my side on the throne.” She sat up from his bed and looked him in the eye, waiting for his reaction. When he didn’t respond, she spoke again.

“Josh, this is me proposing to you.” He turned away from the girl, continuing to write on the piece of paper he had in front of him.

“Hong Joshua, hello! Will you do me the honours of not making me the most miserable woman in the world by becoming my groom?”

Just then, a crumpled up paper hit the princess square in the middle of her forehead. She rubbed her head looking at the guy who threw it for an explanation. Josh only gestured for her to open the letter which contained one word.

“I feel like I deserve more respect as a princess. Maybe a ‘no thank you’ would be more polite than a straight out ‘no’, don’t you think?” (y/n) crumpled up the paper and threw it back at the man, who laughed in response.

“My apologies your highness, I meant to say ‘As I am grateful and extremely flattered by your offer, I must give you my sincerest apologies as I choose to decline your request’. There, was that better?”

The princess nodded and gave the man a sarcastic thumbs up, before falling back on the bed and groaning in annoyance.

She needed to get out of this situation as soon as possible.

A few days after her parents’ announcement, the princess found herself walking into the Wen family’s royal palace, following closely behind her parents. It was far more extravagant than her own which was saying something considering that her parents sure had some flare. The guards all bowed as they walked. They were to meet the king and queen of the Wen Kingdom in the throne room.

As they entered, three thrones sat at the very end of the room, all occupied by a member of the royal family. The family radiated an aura of power which, she was definitely sure, intimidated her parents. The guard called out the introductions for the family and she could feel the Wens judging them. It wasn’t a problem for her though; to her they weren’t anything special, but for her parents, they were what they aspired to be. Influential leaders to all.

“King Wen, Queen Wen and Prince Junhui, it is a pleasure to meet you.” (Y/n)’s father spoke. Her parents bowed and motioned for her to do the same.

“She is a beautiful girl. She’ll make a fitting queen for my son.”

(Y/n) walked forward and gave her best and most proper bow. Her father smiled wide in pride, taken back from how proper she was acting, despite her unwillingness to come along on the trip.

“Actually, your majesty,” the princess started, a mischievous glint in her eyes, “I travelled with my parents to formally tell you myself that as I am grateful and extremely flattered by your offer, I must give you my sincerest apologies as I choose to decline you and your family’s request for my hand in marriage.”

The room was silent and the jaws of everyone around her had dropped. It was until then her father tried to speak up to ease the tension only to be cut off by the sound of laughter from the Wens.

“You have raised a headstrong child. I like her, do you my dearest?” Queen Wen looked over at her husband and he nodded in approval.

“Well I don’t.” Junhui said, bringing all attention on him.

“It’s a mutual disagreement! A reason why this marriage wouldn’t work out!” (Y/n) tried.

Junhui’s mother held her hand up to her son as a signal for his silence. “She’ll be good for you. Hopefully she can knock some sense into your head.”

It was unbelievable to both children that despite the two having no positive feelings for the other, they were still planned to to wed.

“No no no, I’m a bad influence on everyone around me! I hate my people and, uh— I want to wage wars on the surrounding kingdoms!” The princess spoke, trying to find a way to end the marriage. She flinched at the feeling of a hand falling to her shoulder and squeezing it as a warning. She looked up to the disapproving look her father was giving her and gulped.

“That’s enough out of you,” the king then turned to the Wens to apologise.

“It’s fine. We wouldn’t want to force her into anything she didn’t want,”

That shocked her parents. (Y/n)’s smile was wide and she bowed gratefully to the couple in front of her.

The Queen then continued, “our only deal is, she stays with us. Just until her 21st birthday. If she chooses not to marry, we will allow that and if she does choose to marry our son, she will become the new heir to our kingdom.”

It wasn’t the most ideal situation for her to be in but it was definitely one that worked in her favour. At once, her parents signed the agreement and were off, back to their own palace, leaving their only daughter behind. They promised to send over her belongings that she would need for the coming months and that was that.

A personal guard was appointed to her to guide her around the palace and show her around but the princess was fond of exploring on her own. The only place she really needed to be escorted to was her own appointed bedroom.

Her sleeping quarters were nothing short of expectation. It was definitely built and decorated as she expected; filled with deep reds and gold, mimicking the overall feel of the palace. Although it was beautiful, it was very overwhelming. The room was far too large and extravagant for her as it juxtaposed her own back at her own place. Her room was small —or at least what a royal would consider small— and not as put together. It held character, her own character.

A knock sounded on the door and the queen entered. “Is the room presentable enough for you?” The queen asked, watching as the girl looked around.

“It’s very… red?” She replied, receiving a polite laugh in response.

“Red is a symbol of good luck and prosperity in our kingdom.”

The girl nodded along to the queen’s words and walked over to the giant mattress. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but…” (y/n) moved to the middle of the mattress to lie down, turning one way and then the other until she was facing the queen, “do you have anything smaller? Such a large room and bed make me feel as though there’s enough room for someone to creep in and watch me or join me in my bed.”

Then the queen burst out in the sweetest laughter, clearly amused by her request. As she calmed down, seeming to wipe some tears from her eyes, she called for one of the servants who waited outside of the room.

“Our girl here has read one too many horror stories. Ameliah, are you able to escort us to the guest room near the gardens?” The servant bowed and signalled for the two to follow. It was sort of surprising to hear the queen talk so politely to her servants. Usually at home, (y/n)’s parents would demand to be taken somewhere other than ask, they probably wouldn’t have remembered the name of their workers either.

“I’m sorry if it’s a little too small,” the queen chattered, “to be honest, the room we’re taking you to is usually given to the visiting family members of our guards but it’s the smallest room we have.”

They walked through the gardens and the princess took her time admiring their greenery. There were plants of all sorts that made her miss her own. She was thankful that her room would be near the gardens and out of the palace, ensuring that she would have less run ins with the prince.

The room was far less extravagant but definitely rivaled her own at home. It was larger than her own but not by too much. The colour of the room did stay true to the royal family’s taste but it was overall the best option she was given.

After a few ‘thank you’s and some small talk, the princess was finally on her own, planning on having some rest.

“It’s a stupid decision made by my parents,” Junhui’s sword clashed with another and was thrown back out of his grip. The prince quickly dodged another swing and rolled backwards to collect his weapon. Before he could do so, a blade was already at his throat, dangerously close to his jugular. His hands, a hair’s width away from gripping his sword, slowly moved up beside his head in a signal of surrender.

Minghao grinned in satisfaction and held his hand out to help Jun up. “Maybe next time you could use me for actual sparring practise instead of being your personal therapist,” Minghao mocked.

“I can’t help it, you’re just so good at listening to my problems.”

“I don’t get paid enough to be your personal guard and your personal shrink. Talk to you parents about giving me a raise and maybe next time I’ll pretend to be so immersed in your problems that I let you win.”

The two packed up their equipment, chatting about anything that came to mind until Minghao stopped mid speech. “Is that her?” He motioned to the gardens --which were attached to the training grounds-- with his head. The princess walked around inspecting the plants, touching the flower petals and smelling them. She looked totally entranced by them, not even noticing the two men watching her every move.

Jun scoffed and turned to pack his equipment away into his weapon shed.

“She seems sweet,” Minghao offered up. He knew Jun wanted nothing to do with the girl but there was no way Jun was going to get out of the marriage so it was better to get her onto his nice side as soon as possible.

“Don’t even try with me, dude. I don’t even want to think about this whole thing.”

“Well… I guess that sucks for you because here she comes.” Minghao gave him a pat on the back, a warm smile and a bow to the princess before taking his leave, allowing the two to be alone.

“Were you guys training?”

Jun rolled his eyes and looked at the girl before speaking sarcastically, “No, we were dancing with these dangerous weapons in our hands.”

“Well you might’ve been but the royal guard seemed to be taking it seriously, especially with how quick he unarmed you and got you to surrender.”

Jun finally had everything packed away and turned to inspect the girl. His eyes criticised everything about her from the way she wore her clothes to the way she stood. Her posture was in no way challenging and there was no hostility in the way she looked at him.

He gave (y/n) a glare but she didn’t even flinch. “What the hell do you think you’re doing talking to me. Do you not realise the situation we’re in? If my parents think we’re finally getting along then that’ll make them feel even more smug about the wedding.”

It was the princess’s turn to scoff at him, “I understand the situation very well. I’m living here for a month before I turn 21 and by then if I decide not to marry, which is what I want, then your parents won’t make us marry. I don’t see why we shouldn’t at least to try to get along in that time.”

“A month for you to make a decision? Are you stupid? Do you really think my parents will let you choose whether you get to marry me or not?” Jun started, hostility clear in his voice, “My parents aren’t idiots, (y/n), they know we both hate the idea of an arranged marriage. When this month is over, whether we like it or not, we are going to be forced into marriage and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

(Y/n) looked at him, shocked at his words. He then pushed past her and stomped away into the palace.

The princess was definitely screwed.

In a months time there were barely any interactions between the prince and the princess. Whenever they were to eat, they would have their meals with the king and queen. Other than that, the two stayed out of each other’s way.

It was the day before (y/n)’s Birthday and the final day of the Wen’s agreement. Jun’s words were a constant thought that flowed through the princess’s mind, more so as her birthday approached.

There was a light knock on her door and the Queen entered after a moment. Her smile was kind and there was no trace of malice in her person, making (y/n) rethink the prince’s words.

“You’re turning 21 tomorrow and we’ve decided to throw you a celebration.” The queen waited for a reaction but all (y/n) could give was a thank you and a weak smile.

“Are you worried about our arrangement?”

“Yeah, it’s just, I really don’t want to do this. I want to fall in love with someone naturally, you know? Not forced to love someone.” The queen gave a sympathetic smile and walked over to sit next to (y/n) on the bed.

“I was like you when I was younger. I read too many romance novels and I fell in love with the idea of falling in love, but as a princess, it’s very hard to go out of your way to actually find the one. For example, how many men have you met and gotten to know in your life?”

“One, my royal advisor.”

“Do you love him?”

“Well of course I do, but in the way that I would love a best friend. He is my best friend after all.”

The queen nodded and the sympathetic smile slid back onto her face. “See, you’ve met and created a connection with one guy up until now and you don’t even have any romantic feelings for him. Life is full of hit and misses and there’s no way of knowing if you’ll ever be able to find someone that you will truly love.”

It was a hard truth that the princess had to bare. No one had ever spoken so truthfully to her, not even her parents and now she wasn’t feeling the most confident.

The queen saw no sign of a response and continued.

“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad it’s just, I want to try and give you and my son the best option. Do you know why you were chosen out of all the kingdoms to wed my son?”

(Y/n) shook her head and looked to the queen for an answer.

“You are the best possible ruler. There is word from the people of your kingdom, they talk of how great you are. You are attentive to their problems, you know how to build a connection and you just have a genuine aura about you. I also know for a fact that you’re educated on how the council works and every kingdoms standing positions in and under the council.

“My son needs someone like that. He doesn’t have the best image to the public and he doesn’t have the right sense to be running a kingdom, but he is our only heir and we can’t change that. The only thing that we can do for the best of the kingdom and for the best of our son is find someone capable of guiding him into becoming someone better.”

Although peppered with compliments and words that would trigger the princess’ empathetic side, her stomach dropped at the realisation of the situation.

This is what Jun was talking about.

No matter what the princess said, no matter if she wanted this marriage or not, the queen would stop at nothing to unite the two. The idea that there was a determined, manipulative woman hidden behind the queen’s kind demeanor wasn’t so hard to believe at this point. It was like (y/n) could see past her facade and straight into the queen’s true self.

A moment later, after the process of realisation, (y/n) was able to stutter a response, “I do appreciate how highly you seem to think of me but I really don’t want to get married to your son. You know how against it we both are and I do have my own plans to marry someone of my choice. For now I want to focus on my position as the princess of my kingdom and help my own people.”

In a flash, the queen’s constant smile then pressed into a firm, thin line and her eyes hardened along with it. “You know, if you really had your kingdom’s best interests at heart, you would think about this marriage a little harder. Your kingdom is small, basically defenseless to the other larger ones. With this marriage, you will have not only made one ally, but the entire council.”  As quick as it came, her harsh demeanour morphed back into her normal affectionate one.

It definitely sounded like a threat, part of her knew that it was a threat disguised to be some sort of advice or offering. The queen’s eyes wavered from their warm and sympathetic nature to something more fiery and determined.

“We could come upon an agreement where you and Jun are able to live separately in your own kingdoms and cater to your own people. With the exception of some monthly visits to check up on each other. It would basically be like... running your own kingdom.”

That was what appealed to the princess.

My dumb ass started a series. I always told myself I wouldn’t upload a series because (i hate to admit it) i’ve never finished one...,,.,,,. Hopefully you all enjoyed this introductory chapter because I know I enjoyed the 6 months it took me to type it up (a little joke but also not really)

I’ve started working on the next chapter and it’s almost ready to go up so thats good news i reckon

as always, my work isnt edited so if theres anything i need to fix feel free to let me know and I’ll fix it right up

show me some love by liking and reblogging my fic, maybe check out my other works and, i dont know, give this gal a follow will ya?

[worldcakecakecake]

Feliciano and the King of Hearts

Chosen by the gods as the Queen of Hearts from the moment of birth, we follow Feliciano’s story as he grows into royal life, learns to rule, go against age old customs, and his relationship with his husband to be, the King of Hearts.

Chapter 1 I  Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5 I Chapter 6I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8 IChapter 9I Chapter 10I Chapter 11I Chapter 12 I Chapter 13 I Chapter 14 I Chapter 15 I Chapter 16 I Chapter 17 I Chapter 18 I Chapter 19I Chapter 20 I Chapter 21 I Chapter 22 I Chapter 23 I Chapter 24 I Chapter 25 I Chapter 26 I Chapter 27 I Chapter 28I Chapter 29 I Chapter 30 I Chapter 31 I Chapter 32 I Chapter 33 I Chapter 34 I Chapter 35 I Chapter 36 I Chapter 37I chapter 38 I Chapter 39 I Chapter 40 I Chapter 41 I Chapter 42 I Chapter 43 I Chapter 44 I Chapter 45 I Chapter 46I Chapter 47 I Chapter 48 I Chapter 49 I Chapter 50 I Chapter 51 I Chapter 52 I Chapter 53 I Chapter 54 I Chapter 55 I Chapter 56 I Chapter 57 I Chapter 58 I Chapter 59 I Chapter 60

Posting this from Antonio’s country...my last day here actually. I’m incredibly sorry for the time it took me to post, but things were hectic and it wasn’t till the last moment that I dedicated some writing. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it too!

                                                  Chapter 61

Feliciano prepared himself for the ball in his room. Well, to be honest he wasn’t doing much that moment.

 He sat in a comfortable chair, the sound but the music of his chest, the familiar melody that calmed Feliciano well even in the activity and haste of a ball being initiated in the floors below him. His wear for the night was well prepared on his side of the bed, ironed, shinning, with flowers of surely the most recent picking, yet Feliciano sat with only but a white blouse, humming to the song, moving his fingers as if he was leading the notes to spread all across the room, even out in the night, his balcony door open to let that freedom.

 “Feliciano, have I told you how much I love your hair,” Kandake told him, helping the arising queen with fitting his hair for the ball. Not much was to be done, the only difficulty was adding the glitter and placing the golden vine circlet crown just the right place between his princely curls.

 “You flatter me too much,” he giggled. “Have you finished?”

 “And…done!” Kandake just wanted to adjust a single golden leaf from the crown out of place.

 “Great! Now let me do your hair!” Feliciano excited, taking an instant jump to start.

 “Feliciano, I don’t think you’re familiar with my kind of hair!”

 “I can still try! Just let me know if it’s hurting or I’m doing something that can damage it.” He pushed her towards a mirror, so she could keep a constant check.

 “Now…hmmm,” he began to think about what exactly he was going to do.

 “Feliciano, you really need to prepare yourself for the ball. In fact, I should be the one dealing with you right now.”

 “Don’t worry! We have enough time!” Feliciano took a white ribbon from a desk, keeping it around his neck as he began to take Kandake’s hair to prepare into the form he wanted.

 “You will surely get scolded by Ludwig,” she reminded.

 “Pfftt, he won’t,” Feliciano rolled his eyes and determined in the fixing.

 He remembered how in his first ball at the castle, that phrase would have him panicking, obedient, because he was so terrified to deal with Ludwig. How beautifully things had changed, how the words now didn’t mean the threat from before, whatever anger Ludwig could come with surely one he could tame and cure with their kisses, words and embraces. He was looking forward to spending this ball with him.

 “Shouldn’t he be here preparing himself,” she wondered as she hadn’t spotted him in the room since she entered.

 Feliciano shrugged, “he told me that there were some things he wanted to discuss with his grandparents and would prepare elsewhere.” Feliciano wasn’t really thinking about it.

 “Then, shouldn’t you be dealing with the guest if he’s not able to?”

 “Kandake…let me finish your hair before anything.”

  The ball was the shine, the gold, the red, the expected lavishness of the castle that had the guest awing as they made their way down the halls to the ballroom. Feliciano had decided on more peaches, diamonds, red flowers to flourish at every single sight. Most vases, statues and desks were moved, bringing in more space, for the mix of visitors that came from all kingdoms this time in preparation for the coming reunion of all the royals. More chandeliers were placed than usual to alight the drinks of apple and peach wine, the jewels in their guests, the laughter that started at the opening of the large doors, all kinds of conversations swarming, bringing to life and already making this one of the many balls to remember.

 Of all the Heartian royals, the first to greet the plentitudes was Ludwig Beilschmidt, descending in a wear of an opened white tail coat, embroidered elegantly in red, underneath it a rich red vest and tightened white shirt with a not too flamboyant cravat. It needed to add just a small touch.  All to his suit, his pants, his boots, suited his figure excellently, having many who he passed by sway at how handsome he shone for the evening.

 “And who must this be for?” Of all the annoying people he had to meet first.

 Ludwig rolled his eyes but turned with the most respectful expression he could utter to welcome King Francis. “Hallo, Bonnefoy.”

 “As emotionless as ever I see. Doesn’t fit how well you look,” he dared wink and Ludwig had to hold himself well from showing the roll of his eyes.

 “Ludwig!” Lili greeted happily, jumping on Ludwig for an embrace that the taller had no problem giving.

 Lili shone elegantly in such a simple yellow dress, with beautiful floral diamonds at the top, the same ones she had circulating around her hair as her crown. “It’s so nice to see you after everything. How have you been? How is Feliciano? We’ve been hearing some amazing things from you two!” She excited.

 “Lili, what did I tell you?” Vash scolded, coming along to join them as well in his own decorated suit.

 “It’s only Ludwig,” she complained.

 “Lili, I have to admit, it’s not queenly acting,” Francis scolded gently.

 Lili pouted and Ludwig was about to exclaim joining to her side about doing as she pleased, but when spotting a blue and green from between the crowds of other guest, he got reminded. “Where are the others?”

 “They’ve just arrived and are dealing with the traffic outside,” Francis told.

  Both the royal Spadians and Clubians arrived at the same instant, their doors swung in the same moment, all coming down to meet each other in an easy sight.

 “Hey! Ivan! How you doing?” Alfred exclaimed unceremoniously, waving his whole body along like a child.

 Ivan smiled and gave a gentle wave and smile, with it hiding the true groan he wanted to use. Elizabeta was the only one that shared a true excited greeting, while Arthur was embarrassed and tried to get Alfred to calm down.

 “Where is Yao?” Ivan asked, trying to spot the Spadian jack.

 “Oh, he’s, uh-” Yao was signing at Alfred to shut up, wondering if there was a chance he could head out through the other exit without Ivan noticing. “He’s…already in the ball!” Alfred came out with just in time, Arthur giving a sigh of relief.

 “Ah, I must search for him instantly.” Without more to spare, he made way into the feast, greeting and bowing to those he should.

 It was then that Roderich dismounted, looking over to the Spadian royals with suspicion. “He’s still in the coach, isn’t he?”

 Yao thought it safe to head out, waving in greeting to another fellow Jack.

 “This is a royal reunion, Yao. At one point you’ll both have to be in the same room,” Roderich warned as he made his way forward into the castle alongside his queen.

  Ludwig’s movements through the halls and ballroom were slow, for every corner there was somebody calling for a chat, a greeting, a join into a drink or snack that he took to not disrespect…as well as to calm the nervousness he possessed.

 “It’s nice to know your kingdom is welcoming to tribal fairies,” one such creature had told Ludwig.

 “Our kingdom accepts all. I wish you luck in settling and that you continue to enjoy the feast,” he wished with a clink of their wine glasses.

 “Thank you, your highness.” The group turned away and Ludwig was momentarily relieved to have freedom, until he felt someone staring him down from behind. He turned to meet with familiar jokers.

 “Ludwig, it’s so great to see you again!” Dua was the first to shout and greet of the group.

 All were dressed elegantly in yellow, with shines and details typical of their provinces in Diamonds. Ludwig gave them all smiles, chatting instantly on how they had been since their last meeting. He took all by turn, until finally-

 “I’ve heard about how your relationship has improved.” This time, he didn’t feel that jealous flare from the last time he had met with Haris, sharing a smile and a civilized hand shake.

 “It has. I’m truly glad you’re here for the night.”

 “We couldn’t waste a chance of being invited by the very arising royals to the Heartian castle,” Gupta added.

 “Feliciano will be ecstatic to see you all. He’s pretty late, but sooner or later he will appear,” Ludwig let them know.

 “Ah, no wonder we can’t find him anywhere!” A familiar voice added, Ludwig now turning to meet the ones who had helped Feliciano and him with a good part of their traverse in Spades, as well as their companions when saving the capital city from the invading men of Khaos.

 “Hello, Mei,” Ludwig turned to greet the new group, in their own flourishing blues, bowing, all except Mei and Lei, who were mostly searching for Feliciano still.

 Both these groups joined to chat and speak, at one point Ludwig leaving them in his own search for Feliciano. He went back into the halls hoping to have a better meeting of him, instead, he saw two figures he could just not ignore as they passed by each other.

 “You made it,” Ludwig greeted them, giving his hand to shake.

 Despite how normal he tried to keep this greet, Neeraja and Priya still bowed, shinning like the very diamonds and chandeliers with blues and silvers.

 “And we thank you deeply!”

 “It is an honor to be here,” Priya smiled grandly.

 “This will be you home for the next few days.”

 “Actually…it will be for more.”

 “What do you mean?”

 Neeraja and Priya glanced to each other with knowing smirks.

 “Have you forgotten a detail about us?”

 And that’s when Ludwig remembered, “oh, yes, fortune tellers.”

 “We only recommend you prepare the castle for a much longer stay than planned for your guest.”

 They were about to turn and leave to other matters, but Ludwig just had to ask. “You knew all this…you knew what would happen after I entered the field.”

 They turned to him once again, wondering what he meant and what he wanted to get to.

 “And…you know what will continue to happen, about the alignment…the war. Is there…anything you can tell us to prepare.”

 Neeraja and Priya shared glances of concern, silently speaking about what they could say, but it was quickly decided.

 “No. We’re sorry, Ludwig, but we do not like to release a future that is best you keep uncertain about,” Neeraja uttered.

 “We can only give you the same words of advice from before. Train, practice, learn everything you can of your power and hope that it can be the best,” Priya continued.

 They bowed once again and this time surely left elsewhere, Ludwig giving them a simple wave, off then to continue on his waiting for Feliciano.

 “Ah, his highness, Feliciano Vargas!” And there was the calling from one of the guards, in prepare for his entrance to the ball.

 Ludwig turned, awaiting a descend from the stairs in the area. He was so sure, ready, strong enough to deal with what he will ask him later, but gazing now at his utter perfection wear and shine, it all extinguished and his mind was left in rubbish. He wasn’t alone in this, as all turned and were swayed at the Hearts arising queen. Of course, he was the subject of all this attention. He had been the main talk all this time after Augusta’s reveal, along with him being an Ace and destined to save them all. It was as if they were already staring at a god in the heavens, some already bowing, others left breathless and many just stared and admired his well proclaimed beauty.

 Everything on his suit was well crafted in flowers and jewels, placed in just an elegant fashion that grew well all around him. It was tight, showing a figure that surely had many drooling, yet it was soft and comfortable, shown in the ease and smile Feliciano came down in. A silky cape followed him, long, but not reaching the floor or covering the grace he held, it flew about with him. Then there was glitter, beautiful on his hair along with the laurel crown, as well as a simple touch around his eyes.

 A true star, a true shine, sucking whatever movement Ludwig could have given, left only with impression and wonder. Feliciano managed to spot him between the heavy crowd, giving him an adoring smile, eager to be near him that instant. And after nervousness, there was pride.

 No matter the people there, who swooned and could only dream of having an arising royal of that magnitude, Ludwig didn’t have to worry. As he walked his way between the people, he knew there was no other Feliciano thought about, no other he was expecting, no other to hold him, to kiss him to all’s impression and make clear who was the couple that would bring strength to a coming war. It made him stand taller than the usual, for all to instantly give pass without question, for they knew that the king was coming to greet his queen.

 Feliciano was close to reaching the crowds, but Ludwig reached the bottom of those stairs first, offering a hand for him to take and Feliciano practically dashed forward to it. They spun and laughed, much to the awe and impression from those who knew how rocky their relationship had been before.

 “You look, well…gorgeous, beautiful…I-I…what else can I say?” Ludwig laughed.

 Feliciano chuckled, “you already have me flattered. And you, look so handsome and wonderful and all mine and all I want to do is kiss you.”

 “Who am I to stop that?”

 “Good.” And Feliciano threw his arms around him with a greeting kiss that had the surprise even wider across the crowds. They indulged in their lips for what they wanted, a dispatch to an applaud greet of the crowds, and both waving their own back.

 As it died down, as all found other attention, Ludwig and Feliciano. with their arms well wrapped, decided on joining the feast and enjoying from what would be offered. It wasn’t long until they received shouts and the wanting of others to be close to them.

 “Feli!” It was a very loud familiar shout from a Dane, coming along with his own familiar group.

 “Oh gods! It’s so great to see all of you again!” Feliciano quickly went to wrap his own arms around each of them, strong embraces with sways and even accepted kisses on the cheek by the arising queen.

 “You have to tell me all that has happened after you left us in the diamond kingdom,” Feliciano was eager to know.

 “You’re the one with a lot to tell us,” Lukas said.

 “What has happened even reached us,” Berwald added.

 “You’re quite famed now,” Tino said.

 Feliciano blushed, “yeah, it’s…a lot to take in. But, Emil! How did it go with the ingression to the Luna Rani Academy?”

 Emil heavily smiled, an excitement that grew that had Feliciano taking both his hands in a dear hold.

 “I got accepted! I’m starting in a month!” And Emil joined Feliciano along in shouts and jumps as if it was the first time he got the acceptance letter.

 “I’m so glad and happy for you! Oh, you’ll make an amazing student! You’ll make lots of new friends and study all kinds of things! You have to write and let me know how it all goes!”

 “I’ll be glad to!”

 “Feli!” And then there was the Amazon group, Martin practically tumbling Feliciano down to the ground.

 “Martin, please, don’t kill him,” Elisa commented as she tried to hold the rest from crushing the poor arising queen.

 The rest were loud blabbers that it was a miracle Ludwig and Feliciano could understand. More groups joined and greeted, as those of the Oralee, of the Asian provinces, the Diamond kingdom joker group and the other royals, with conversations, anecdotes, meetings and stories that could have lasted long into the night. Not to mention that they all wanted to be introduced to Augustino, all new gushes that Lovino had learned lately to just stand.

 To be honest, Ludwig and Feliciano did not expect to be so heavily ambushed by so many people. Not that they minded, but they still needed an occasional breath.

 Time flew, the night was coming into deeper darkness and it was quite awakening when the King, Queen and Jack took the tallest standing for the usual welcome and speech, with the reasonings of the ball, mentioning the successful track of the journey, Augusta, the fear of the coming war and finally: “-but let us now calm whatever agitations with a dance. As per tradition, let us let our arising royals begin our lead with a song of their choosing. Ludwig, Feliciano.” Queen Louis opened her arms to the welcome of the open floor left for them, the orchestra ready and anxiously waiting.

 What a change that this time, Ludwig and Feliciano didn’t have to question it. Their acceptance was giving in a simple glance along with a smirk, already deciding the song. They walked together arm and arm, by the orchestra, giving a bow as a thank you to their music. As Feliciano pointed to his laurel crown with a wink, it was obvious what song was meant to be played. The composer turned to his musicians and instantly began the familiar song known well to be that of the King and Queen of Hearts.

 No complains, no hatred, no disappointment, the arising royals happily took their way to the center, wishing this dance, wishing this moment for themselves if even the many eyes. Feliciano turned to Ludwig, both taking the usual ready position, making sure to be comfortable, that they were set right, assured with a smile and the blushing color even in their eyes.

 The sway that began was slow, simple, leaning them into the acceptance of the very song. This time, there were real smile in their faces, a glow that jumped all over the large ballroom, a spread that was helped as Ludwig and Feliciano took bigger spaces as they moved, taking quite a design on the floor for themselves. Spins, different kinds of grasps, of extends, graceful movement in every possible way that had everyone in true wonder and impression, lost in this magic, in a truth of love shown, even as the star dancers were ignorant to all those present. When the song took its known height, the arising royals matched with its quickness, jumping and daring to try new moves that were the perfect synchronization even when it was the first time. They laughed, they enjoyed, they focused on what they could create, of how they could test their trust with the sudden new movements. Unlike the last dance they shared in a ball, they were having fun, they felt freed, they shone with beauty and even as the song came to its conclusion, they waited on that last hold for more. As all around them clapped, and as they breathed, they could only stare into their eyes, wording whatever plot for the next song.

 In this new one, others began to join along, and so Ludwig and Feliciano joined in dancing around them, smiling and greeting whenever they met with other couples they knew, like Herakles and Kiku, and Alfred and Arthur. They shouted, they matched, they sang and Ludwig had never thought that he would actually want to continue along with this feast no matter the song, the people that surrounded them or even if he was getting tired.

 It was around the sixth song that he realized he was running out of breath, that neither his legs or arms could take anymore, yet he laughed and smiled, happy then to just hold Feliciano with him in an ending calming sway.

 Yes, he wanted him, more than anyone, anything and he knew that no time was better to solidify that union. Whatever nervousness, he tried to keep it well inside him with his breaths, his hands on Feliciano’s waist, distracted in the scent of his hair…he was wearing the perfume he gave him. They were well calmed, part of the many couples swaying in soothing motions, the light dimmed as if to give them all that moving nap. No one noticed as Ludwig signaled Feliciano to follow him elsewhere, and the arising queen, in his daze, easily followed behind him through all the lessening activity of the ball. They reached one of the large glass and colored doors, through which they could see the towering formed bushes and trees of the garden, entering into their lost, their colors, and the few lights that were lighted for the occasion, for those who wanted a stroll of the aromatic area or just wanted privacy away from all the bustling crowds of the feast. They hadn’t drunken any alcohol, and yet Ludwig and Feliciano giggled, danced and even played about the paths as if they had gone through their heavy effects. Everything looked spectacular in the night, it was a surprise it was so lonely. Why didn’t anybody else dare to enjoy from this green? These stoned pathways, particular fauna, fountain, hedges, arches, all made in a singularity of red and beauty that was definitely worth the visit, especially if you came from another kingdom. To Ludwig, it was better. All this extended space and wonder for themselves, made it more unique, serene, the seclusion for what Ludwig planned.

 They reached what was either a middle or end, both of them tired, taking a sitting in a shaped white marbled bench, in an enclosure of roses and a tall tree that draped with its branches, leaves and vines, keeping them closed from any kind of reach of the party. They breathed heavily, finding calm after their thread across the garden, Ludwig especially readying for what was to come. They enjoyed from the silence, from the only rustling being the occasional breeze and their continuing breaths.

 “This was a nice break,” Feliciano admitted with an appreciated smile, stretching and settling much closer to Ludwig’s side, thighs touching.

 “There were more people than usual in this ball.”

 “We did invite a lot,” Feliciano reminded.

 “We did, but it’s nice seeing them again, make ourselves really sure that they’re doing fine,” Ludwig smiled with such a kindness that Feliciano ogled with a clear stare.

 “What?” Ludwig wondered for it.

 Feliciano sighed dreamily, “you look more handsome than usual when you admit you care.”

 Ludwig chuckled, “I’ve always done, Feliciano.”

 “You were too busy hiding it though.”

 “I was, but…things have changed, haven’t they?” Ludwig reached his hand and took Feliciano’s grasp gently.

 “They have and I’ve made very sure that I’ve loved every single moment of it since you opened.” Feliciano looked up and shared his other hand with his, exchanging those grasps in a loving strength.  

 “Yet I don’t think I’ll ever stop apologizing for how I treated you either,” Ludwig reminded.

 “It’s not necessary. It’s in the past and we’ve learned to move forward and can look ahead in earnest.”

 “Even with a war?”

 “I’m sure we’ll beat Khaos,” Feliciano was determined as he brought Ludwig’s hand to kiss in promise.

 Silence then settled, but neither minded it, their eyes could speak enough. Feliciano distracted though, in a new breeze that brought along and intensified the perfumed aroma of roses. He turned to follow it and Ludwig to determine himself in asking. His hands shook and Feliciano turned back to him instantly in worry.

 “I love you,” Ludwig pushed himself to say before anything, raising a hand to take Feliciano’s face, fingers tracing well the softness, the glitter, even the warmth that he felt grow beneath his fingertips. “I want to be with you always…I want us to be together for this war.”

 “And we will be,” Feliciano assured as he raised his own hand to join his.

 “I was us to be together in a different way than this.”

 Feliciano’s eyes widened in a moment of worry, the worst coming to his mind first. It only worsened when Ludwig stood, but calmed once he saw him kneel before him, close, taking a powerful and somehow prideful stance between his legs. He lay like this simple for a while, Feliciano now seeing clear the nervousness in his eyes.

 “Ludwig…are you okay? You seem really-” Feliciano was suddenly startled by a ring directly faced towards him. He was left without a word at the wonderful shine of red of the jewel, marbled well in gold, like a rose heart tempting to grow and embrace him in its shine. It was utterly beautiful, one that could blind, shut and leave Feliciano in an utterly frozen state. It was a wonder he could stare at it properly when Ludwig was shaking, constantly gulping, sweat temping to drop from his brow.

 “I-It…was supposed to be your eighteenth birthday present, but after everything…well, I hid and tried to forget about it.” The gulp he gave then, along with his inhales, were deeply heard. “I…I...made it myself…took me weeks to be able to craft it with my magic how I wanted. I still think I need to retouch it… but maybe once a year I can add something or fix it how you wish,” he eased, distracting. He had to shake his head once again to bring him back to the track he wanted to take. “I…I know I don’t deserve you, I know I acted like a total fool before and know that I don’t deserve to even be asking you this question again. But I assure you that this time…I’m not asking because it’s duty, because it’s an engagement our families decided on or because it’s what the Aces, and the kingdom, and the rest of the world wants. This…this is not a recitation from an old tradition book, it’s not because of what’s coming or either because of the prosperity that will fall on our kingdom.” He took a moment to breathe, to gather his new words, while Feliciano remained as still, as patient and waiting for him to continue. “I’m asking because I want to be with you as this. I truly want us to rule together, to strengthen it with a love that I always want to devote true and powerful to you. I’ll journey far for you, no fear to loose, I’ll take down every opponent. There will be no heat or freeze to go against me. No sun, no rain…” It was then that he noticed what exactly he was saying, Feliciano giggling, but not minding. He only leaned closer to hear him clearer. “I love you and I want to be your husband, your king. So please, will you marry me? Will you accept to be mine…my queen?”

 He looked so vulnerable, every weakness and opening in all his beautiful self that showed more strength than any soldier in a battlefield. Feliciano grinned and gave the gentlest laugh, the closest that he could show to the true flourishing that was occurring at this question that was now the loveliest shine to have happened.  He leaned close, placing a gentle kiss of calmness on his head.

 “I don’t want any of the riches you will bring,

I don’t care for any of the songs,

I only want you to hold,

I only want your arms around me,”

 He began to sing sweetly, jokingly composing with a finger across their simple air. It died suddenly for both to laugh in the hold of their arms.

 “Would you want all the gold I will find for you?

Would you like the songs I will bring from afar for you?

Would you accept me as your shield?

And would you want me always by your side?”

 Ludwig managed to sing between, getting the lock of their eyes.

 “I don’t want any of the riches you will bring,

I don’t care for any of the songs,

I only want you to hold,

I only want your arms around me,”

 Feliciano answered, beginning a sway how they could in this position.

 “Bring me your love, your kisses, your loyalty,

Your passion, your hope, your defeat,

Your promise, your weakness, your strength,

I will keep it all in my heart.

 I’ll journey and see beyond the lines of our kingdom,

Never a fear to be lost, never a fear to fall,

In pleasure…”

 Ludwig stopped singing, worried that the song was a distraction for him not to worry for when Feliciano denied him yet again. There was such a look of failure in his eyes and in it Feliciano saw that he now had to give his sure answer, one that in it lay a weight that the whole kingdom rested on.

 “…I will take the mysteries of what I could meet…” Feliciano continued to sing in that low whisper, as the last time thinking, wondering…

 “If you accept to be mine…” he stopped his swaying to lay still, with his upper body reaching his arms to rest on Ludwig’s shoulders “…my King.”

 To be honest, the kingdom, the aces, his duties and responsibilities were the last on his mind when he looked into Ludwig’s adored blue eyes, still so terrified yet so naked in truth. All in his mind was love, his utter devotion to him, the feelings he instigated and how united, they could create so much more than what they knew on a surface. Happiness, he knew that there in his arms was his happiness, his shield, his sun, his heart. He didn’t think what it would mean to others but to himself, what this man would be to him, the trust and loyalty he would lay and he knew would prove faithful and brave. He thought about his true answer, well decided by the moment the ring was presented, before him now his true friend, his true king, his true Ludwig.

 This time, in earnest, in joy and excited with all the expectations that were to come, he answered him:

 “Yes.”

[captainamerica77]

Far Cry 5: Jacob Seed x Reader

Fandom: Far Cry 5

Pairing: Jacob Seed x Reader

Warnings: relationship between older man and younger reader(its only like 8 years both are legal). Also I’m not completely sure i like this but I can’t figure out what it is about that is bothering me so I might as well share it so here it is. 

Most people wouldn't guess it but Jacob Seed was one of the sweetest people you'd ever met. Sure in public he was rough and commanding but when it was just you two he was gentle and soft. He loved to cook you dinner when you weren't feeling well or hold you close while watching tv. Your favourite thing though was the times before bed where you two would lay close. Him holding you with your legs intertwined while he kissed the nape of your neck. Tonight was one such night.

“I love you so much,” he said placing small kisses on your neck making you giggle.

“I love you too babe,” you replied placing your hand on his.

“Do you remember our first date?”

“Of course I do.”

You had been working with Jacob for about a month. Joseph had personally asked you to work with his brother. You were in charge of the more administrative side of Jacob's region. Making sure everything was accounted for and that everyone was doing what they were supposed to. You worked very closely with Jacob and at first that made you nervous. But not for the reason most people were nervous around him. During the short time you had worked with him you had began to develop feelings for the ex-army soldier.

At some point you had gotten enough courage to ask the man out on a date. He said he was busy but would try. You would later learn that he had no intention of trying but his brothers convinced him to at least go and try a date.

A week later you found yourself sitting in your living room waiting for the familiar sound of his truck. You two had planned to have dinner at your place. You had spent the whole day cleaning making sure the place was immaculate.

When Jacob finally rolled up your nerves, that were already running high, skyrocketed. You heard the truck stop, the door open and close, and then a knock on your door.

“Hey,” you said.

“Hey.”

“Come on in, welcome to my humble abode.” You stepped aside, holding the door and Jacob walked inside. You noticed he put on cologne, he never wore cologne.

“So I thought for dinner we could just do something simple,” you said leading the way into your kitchen. “Just some pesto pasta and grilled chicken. I hope that's okay.”

“Its fine,” he said. You knew he was a man of few words but something told you he didn't want to be there.

You two ate with you doing most of the talking. He would say something here and there but for the most part was silent. You tried not to think too much of it since some of your friends were like that while they ate.

After dinner you threw the dishes in the dishwasher and pulled out the desert you had made. It was just an old family recipe for brownies, something your grandmother taught you to bake.

“My grandmother loved baking,” you said. “Whenever I would visit her she would always want to bake something. This recipe was probably my favourite and when she died it took years before I could bake it again. I would just get so upset and miss her so much that I couldn't do it. It wasn't until my sister wanted some that I was able to do it.”

“You close with your sister?” he asked.

“Very. It sounds dumb but I would take a bullet for her. She is the most important thing in the world to me. Sorry I know this is probably weird for you if you don't want to stay you don't have to.”

“No I want to. I get it, it doesn't seem it but I'm very close with my brothers. Growing up I had to protect them from the world. I still feel like I have to.” That was the most Jacob had spoke the whole evening.

“I thought Joseph was older?”

“No, I'm the oldest. Joseph is only 35, I just turned 40.” You had never realized how much older Jacob was than you. He didn't look 40 in your opinion. “You didn't think I was 40 did you?” he said with a grin.

“Honestly no, I thought you were...well not my age but-”

“How old are you?” he asked.

“I'm 31,” you answered.

“And you're on a date with me? A 40 year old? I'm going to guess you have a thing for older men.”

“And if I do?”

“Well this might work out for us then.”

You hadn't noticed before but Jacob was now inches away from you, you could smell his cologne again. It wasn't as nice as his natural scent. Still nice though. Jacob brushed some hair behind your ear before leaning in close. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“Come on lets try these they don't look half bad,” he said and walked over to your couch. It took you a moment to figure out what just happened but you couldn't deny you liked it.

You joined Jacob on the couch where you two talked about your families and growing up. Jacob was more reserved about his childhood and you would later find out why. But for now you didn't mind all that mattered was that you were getting to talk to Jacob about more than work. You even got him to laugh, you liked his laugh. When the end of the night came it was close to 1am.

“Woah is it really that late?” you said looking at your clock.

“Indeed it is. And I think you should get some sleep.”

You walked Jacob to the door not wanting the night to end but also wanting to get some much needed sleep.

“I, uh, had fun tonight,” you said.

“You know I did too, how about drinks this Friday? My place this time.”

“I'd like that Jacob,” you said.

“Great, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Bright and early.” Jacob took your hand in his and placed a small kiss on the back of it. He walked to his truck and pulled out of your drive way. That date had gone different than you imagine, but it would be your favourite first date you had ever had.

“You were so nervous,” you said turning to face him.

“No I wasn't.”

“You were. You were bouncing on your feet, you do that when you're nervous. Don't even argue it with me, I know you we've been together a little over 7 years,” you told him. He laughed, god how you loved his laugh.

“And they have been the best 7 years of my life,” he said before kissing you. He was very glad that his brothers had talked him into that date years ago.

[dowling72walls-blog]

Top 10 Soccer Mom Ideas to Improving Your Child's Soccer Skills

The modern day soccer mom or perhaps dad is constantly being pulled in all directions. From driving their sons and daughters to practice and games to volunteering their time for concession stand duty, a soccer mom is always on the go. Combine this with the demands of a nine to five job, taking care of a household, and having a prosperous marriage and you have the recipe for the modern day soccer mom. On the surface it seems that there's not sufficient time in the day to achieve all that is expected to be a successful soccer mom but hopefully my top ten soccer mom ideas will help you find some balance in your life. These top ten ideas are in no particular order of importance but should be utilized as a guide to helping you come to be an even better soccer parent. 1. Schedule - The most obvious and what I consider to being the backbone of success is having a defined schedule. We unfortunately don't go through life and have a crystal ball and unforeseen events will happen, but to be able to achieve success you need to have structure in your life and that's the result of an organized and well-tuned schedule. All members of your family members including anyone helping the kids have to understand and comply with the daily schedule. I suggest making use of your smart phone's built in calendar or Google Calendar to write down the daily, weekly, and monthly schedule. What has worked best for my family is that every Thursday or Friday we cook a great family dinner and then go over the weekend and following week's schedule. visit here when everyone who's involved in helping with your children is in attendance so that all input and output can be compiled and disseminated and possible issues mitigated. Furthermore, it's good to eat dinner with family members and friends on a weekly basis. 2. Organizational Laundry - People would like our kids to be successful so it's best that we show them being successful at an earlier age. There are numerous adjectives to describe success but one common thread that resonates with most people is the need for having organizational skills. The common villain to being organized is laziness. Thus, what has worked best for my family would be that we actually incorporate in the schedule of ours the person responsible for doing laundry which consists of the soccer uniforms, cleats, socks and practice clothes. The mountain of laundry for a family of 5 each week may be a daunting task and that is the reason why my wife and I alternate this endeavor weekly. Doing laundry includes most, folding, drying, and washing importantly putting it away. If your family members is anything like ours after that you must handle the weekly "Case of the Missing Sock" problem. Any suggestions here will be welcomed because we can't figure it out. 3. Dedicated Fan - Whatever the amount of enthusiasm your kids have for soccer, you should be a dedicated fan. Think about all of the time you have already dedicated to raising the kids of yours in the sport of soccer. To be a dedicated fan means learning about the history of soccer, learning about the different professional leagues and teams and the prestige of winning the entire world Cup. By expanding your bubble of soccer knowledge you can impart that enthusiasm and knowledge onto your children who will really appreciate you taking a true interest in what they are doing on the soccer field. 4. Play soccer - When I was young my dad played a great deal of baseball with me but we also kicked the soccer ball from time to time. Those memories will live with me forever allowing me to replay them as often as I would like in my mind. I think in case he were still in existence today, he would be out their kicking the ball with the family. The son of mine and I have enjoyed watching soccer games and implementing certain techniques on the soccer field. go here of us have dramatically improved the skills of ours and are learning a good deal more about soccer. Although I am in my 40's, I'm still in a position to play at a level that both challenges my 13-year old son and encourages him to play harder and smarter. I know that some parents based on age or health will not be in a position to really play with their kids that perhaps you are able to employ a private coach but do what you can to stay engaged and the children of yours will appreciate you for it. 5. Volunteer - From volunteering at the concession stand to being a referee or even coach, your time is valued by the soccer community. My wife and I schedule our time so that we are able to maximize the volunteer time of ours as well as still not miss our son's games. Additionally, volunteering has allowed us to meet and work with some other soccer families. The concept of it takes a village to raise a child is at the core of becoming a productive volunteer. Volunteering lets you stay in tune with soccer events and essentially makes you an instant role model for kids since they view you as part of the leadership of the soccer community. 6. Fundraising - If there are members of the team of yours that are cannot and fortunate less afford the cost of soccer cleats, shin guards, goalie gloves etc., or your team is attempting to raise money, then a fundraising role may be the niche of yours. Successful fundraising starts with getting a real purpose. Asking men and women to separate themselves from the hard earned money of theirs without any rate of return is anti-capitalism and definitely shouldn't be the goal of yours. However, in case you approach other parents, local business owners, school officials, etc. with a valid and detailed explanation of where and how their money will be invested, it won't only be easy to fundraise but also rewarding. For example, I almost certainly wouldn't ask people to give money so that we can buy pizza for the kids after each game but I'd ask for a donation for an end of the season party. Another concept that worked out really well is this past season we (soccer dads) bought matching soccer bracelets for all the kids and matching soccer necklaces for all of the soccer moms to show our appreciation. Parents from a girl's youth soccer team heard what we had done and purchased soccer earrings for all the teammates of theirs. 7. Carpooling - Gas is expensive whatever element of the nation you are now living in so I recommend carpooling as frequently as you are able to. We carpool with similar family that we've dinner with when a week to write the schedule. During our weekly scheduling session, we assign carpool duty throughout the week and ensure that our kids are aware of who to expect and on what days. We have also coordinated with our school to tell them that our friends are authorized to pick up the kids and drive them to soccer practice. Our mini van has served us well and without a doubt has become a terrific investment allowing us to move our children to all their events. 8. The right soccer gear - When I was young my grandfather enforced the concept of having the correct tool for the job at hand. In the circumstances of playing youth soccer, your children have to have proper fitting soccer cleats, and soccer clothing that's not too constraining. children can outgrow a pair of soccer cleats in under a month so it is important that you constantly inspect your children's cleats. I learned this the hard way when after a game I saw my son's big toe protruding from his best soccer cleat. I asked him how much time he'd been playing with his toe sticking out of his soccer cleat and his response astonished me. He had been going to soccer practice and playing with his toe sticking out for more than 2 weeks! The night when we got home from the soccer game we ordered him a new pair of cleats from and today I make it the business of mine to visually inspect his soccer cleats. 9. Individualism and Soccer - As a parent we have to ensure that our children grow up to be responsible and secure individuals. It is a process that we cannot take lightly considering the kids of today are the leaders of tomorrow. Being an individual means knowing your limitations and skills without being affected by trend setters whose goal it's to sell merchandise. For instance, my boy is a natural when it comes to individualism. He does not pretend to be a person he is not and he's perfectly happy being by himself and consumed with his thoughts and ambitions. Society is full of people who fail to grasp their very own reality and are reliant on others for what I call their "social want." Social want comes in many various flavors but the bottom line is that it has one person wanting a thing from another for his irrational state of being. You will be asking yourself, how will being an individual help my children be better soccer players considering soccer is a team sport? The key is simple: successful teams are made up of successful individuals. It's going to take each individual player to play at their absolute best for the team to be successful. When my son was younger, I asked him to pinch himself with his fingers. He thought it was an awkward request but nevertheless he pinched himself. I said, "Son I could not really feel that as it's not me you are pinching it is you! You're your very own person and your decisions you make will guide you into the future. So if you want to be a better soccer player then you've to commit yourself to the sport." This concept is comparable to leading a horse to water but it's the horse who must decide to drink the water. Keep that in mind when you're investing the time of yours in your child's soccer future. 10. Other sports - Your child's soccer skills can be optimized if they play some other sports. I recommend enrolling the child of yours in gymnastics at an earlier age because of the demanding strength and precision that's required to perform as a gymnast. My daughters are both gymnast but when they play soccer they look like naturals out on the field. As a gymnast you condition your body every day and you fine-tune muscles that can certainly help improve your soccer skills. Some other sports are able to be helpful too but in the opinion of mine and from experience, gymnastics is the best sport you can get the child of yours to do along with soccer. Hopefully, these top 10 soccer mom ideas can help you become a better soccer parent and also help your kid get a much better soccer player. I look ahead to hearing from you about your very own soccer experiences in the blogosphere.

[perditaalottachocolate-blog]

Once There Was a Heroine (6)

Marinette/Ladybug Appreciation Week, Day 6: Baking Bakery

In which Dottie visits a bakery

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

AO3 / fanfiction.net

“Once There Was a Heroine”, Part 6: Bakery

The encounter at the park shook Adrien to his roots. There was probably a sleepless night ahead of him, but he was grateful for Dottie’s presence - a welcomed distraction from reliving that nightmare. Her warm hand firmly gripping his felt more real than anything in the world, reminding him of all the reasons they had fought for. Of the future that came and was brighter and more beautiful than he could dream of.

‘Can we go to the bakery?’ Dottie asked as they were collecting their things and preparing to leave. ‘I want to say hello to Maman and Papa.’

Bakery sounded good, great even. Bakery smelled like home should have. Bakery was definitely something he could use right now, even if he knew he wouldn’t find her there.

‘Sure, kitten,’ he keenly agreed.

‘A ride?’ Dottie asked hopefully, fluttering her lashes.

‘Aren’t you getting too big for that?’ he laughed but easily sat her on his shoulders. He might have had six decades behind him, but there was enough of Chat Noir’s strength left in his limbs to carry his own granddaughter like that. She wrapped her hands around his forehead and they set off in the direction of Rue Gotlib.

‘Duck,’ Adrien commanded, hunching a bit and Dottie lowered her head as he carried her on his shoulders over the patisserie’s threshold.

‘Nana!’ the girl cried at the top of her lungs and all but jumped to the ground. He prepared for a scream of pain. He was almost two meters tall after all. But Dottie bounced gracefully and made a beeline for the woman at the counter. When they entered, she was chatting with Hugo, who manned the shop today, but as soon as she heard Dottie’s cry, she turned and flashed them a surprised but beamy smile.

A smile that shot him right in his heart and weakened his legs.

Maybe it was because of the little sentimental journey he had taken earlier with Dottie. Maybe the guide and her miraculous tale of Ladybug and Chat Noir were to blame. Maybe he was a bit tired. And maybe it was all of this. But when Marinette smiled at him from the counter, Adrien felt as if he saw her for the very first time. He could have sworn he felt her crashing into him and tangling them with her yoyo string.

His Lady Luck was here, when he so desperately needed the reassurance that she was real, that she was alive, that they’d made it.

He hadn’t seen her in just a few hours, yet the sight took his breath away. How she held herself with dignity and confidence, that surpassed the experience of fulfilled, mature womanhood, and let the heroine underneath shine through. How her hair slipped from the bun she tied on the top of her head, mostly silver strands with shots of midnight blue here and there, bringing the starry night sky to mind. How her cheeks covered with a fresh coat of blush and pink lips parted in a silent gasp. How her blue eyes, enveloped in dark veil of lashes, bore into him. He got lost in them so many times and he still didn’t have enough of them. A new Gabriel creation tenderly hugged her magnificent figure, bringing out all of her assets and cunningly hiding everything she didn’t want to show.

Adrien would be the first to admit that he was absolutely smitten, had been for over forty years and never minded. His wife was a gorgeous, stunning, mighty woman, a masterpiece, that would make Van Gogh, Renoir and Degas bite their brushes in half and give up painting forever.

She was all he ever needed, and in return for his love and adoration she had given him the world, home, family and inexhaustible happiness. She had helped him to find himself, never judging, never doubting, showering him with affection and acceptance he craved so much.

As joy, relief, love and exhaustion fought for dominance over his heart Adrien stumbled in his step towards the counter; just for a split of a second, but that was enough for Marinette to frown in worry. One look was all it took her to see right through him.

She was already coming to him, prompting Dottie to move with her, as the girl clung to her dress. ’Kitty?’ her voice was soft, but laced with concern. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Everything is fine, love,’ he uttered, a bit too fast for it to be believable.

Marinette’s questioning stare left no doubt that she didn’t buy it. ‘Hugo, why don’t you pack Dottie and Papa some of those fresh rolls, hmm?’ she asked, never taking her eyes off Adrien. ‘I’m sure she’d love to help you choose. She knows which ones we like.’

‘Sure thing, Mom,’ their son replied, knowing exactly what she meant. ‘Come on, sweetie, let’s pack you something for the afternoon snack,’ he extended his hand. Dottie squeezed her Nana one more time and ran to her father, a wide smile on her face. Soon she started babbling excitedly about their visit to the park.

As soon as their granddaughter was out of earshot, Marinette started her friendly interrogation. ‘Is it your blood pressure again? Did you eat anything today? Is Dottie too tiring? Maybe I should cancel on Alya and come home early?’

She shot him question after question until he laughed wholeheartedly and pulled her in for a hug. ‘I’m okay, bug,’ he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, taking a deep breath full of her enchanting scent. ‘I promise. Things just got a little bit too emotional and overwhelming at the park.’

Marinette withdrew from his embrace to look him in the eyes. ‘At the park? I don’t think I follow.’

‘I’ll explain it in the evening,’ Adrien assured her, ‘but I’m purrfectly fine now that you’re here, my Lady. Cat’s honor,’ he promised with right hand on his heart.

She giggled lightly and hugged him again. Everything was nicely warm and soft with her in his arms, but good things never last as long as they should.

‘Is this a spontaneous Agreste reunion at my bakery?’ A deep voice boomed over the shop. Tom Dupain was standing in the back door with a steaming tray of buns in his huge hands.  ‘Give me a hand, Hugo, will ya?’

Even at 93 he still was an impressive man. His bulky form shrunk only a bit with time and just as before he could easily loom over most people. His silver hair had thinned, but he still sported his trademark mustache. Age didn’t take away his skills nor energy, the years his body had accumulated only slowed him down a bit.  

‘Technically it is an Agreste bakery,’ Hugo admonished lightly, taking the tray from his grandfather’s hands, ‘at least since someone retired and left all this mess to me.’

‘Dottie, you’re here already?!’ Tom exclaimed when he saw her peeking from behind the counter. ‘I thought you were at the mansion today?’

‘Nah, Great Grandpa, we’ve come to say hi and take some rolls, and will be going back,’ Dottie smiled sweetly.

‘Hi, Tom!’ Adrien waved at his father-in-law.

‘Hi, Papa!’ Marinette followed suit.

‘Hello to you too,’ the old man replied. ‘Am I interrupting something?’ he asked with a sly grin that earned him a snort from Adrien and an eye roll from Marinette. ‘Just kidding, take your time, I’ll keep this mademoiselle company,’ he waved at them and turned to Dottie. ‘Go ahead, Hugo, take a break and check on Melanie. I’ll take care of the shop for a while,’ he added, putting a hand on his grandson’s shoulder.

Hugo nodded. He crouched in front of Dottie. ‘See you in the evening, sweetie,’ he tickled Dottie under her chin, earning a chuckle, ‘Have fun at Grandpa Adrien’s and be nice, okay?’

‘I promise, Papa,’ she replied earnestly. ‘Hug Maman and Renée from me,’ she called as he was already at the door.

‘Wait for us!’ Marinette rushed past the counter. ‘We’ll come for a minute to say hi. Come on, hon,’ she prompted Adrien to join her.

‘Tom, would you-’ the older Agreste gestured to Dottie and the half packed bag of rolls.

‘I’ve got this,’ his father-in-law man winked at him. ‘Go say hello to the girls.’

‘So, what are you up to this afternoon, cupcake?’ Tom asked as he was finally left alone with his great granddaughter.

Dottie’s eyes lit up as she remembered their plans for the rest of the day. ‘Grandpa Adrien is going to teach me how to make lucky bracelets!’

‘Really?’ her great grandfather sat her on the countertop, ‘I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun, cupcake! Maybe you could do one for your future beau?’ he winked at her curling up his mustaches. ‘Your Nana gave her lucky charm to your Grandpa when they were fourteen and look at them now.’

Dottie would have fallen down from the counter if Tom wasn’t there to still her. ‘Do you remember how that bracelet looked, Great Grandpa?’ her voice trembled as the old man gave her a puzzled look.

‘Oh, cupcake, it was more than 40 years ago!’ he chuckled. ‘There’s plenty more important things I’ve forgotten since then.’

‘Please, Great Grandpa,’ Dottie went straight for kitten eyes, ‘you really don’t remember?’

‘Well, let me think,’ he hesitated under the force of the emerald gaze. ‘I’m sure there was a red string involved, because as far as I know it’s mandatory for lucky charm bracelets. And there must have been…’ his forehead wrinkled with the effort, ‘a few beads, but I honestly don’t remember them at all.’

The girl pouted in disappointment.

‘Oh, I remember the large one!’ Tom slapped his huge hands onto his thighs. ‘It was kinda green, a rectangle I think, with a sort of flower engraved on it? I’m not sure though,’ he faltered. ‘Why do you even ask?’

Dottie positively beamed at him, her chest so swelled with happiness it was a miracle she didn’t hover over the counter. ‘I just wanted to know what worked for Nana and Grandpa,’ a sly grin split her face in half. ‘In case I want to make one for my future beau, you know.’

[docsamurai]

Humans are weird: The Research Facility

*Quick note before I start: This is the 4th installment in a series I’ve called the Lost Colonies which is largely about human society adapting to the strange environments of other worlds. You can read the other installments here: 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed writing this series, but with my new work schedule I had to bring it to a close. If you’ve enjoyed this story follow me on here for my other writings. Thanks again to everyone who has reblogged, liked, replied, DMed, or otherwise shown their appreciation for this series. It means a lot to me that people enjoyed it and the love you’ve all shown me has really helped keep me going for these last few months.*

The airlock hissed and Kiara felt her knuckles ache as the pressure adjusted to the station. Reflexively she clenched and unclenched her fists trying to ease the dull throb that she could already feel spreading to her other joints. On most worlds that had significantly higher or lower pressure than Earth humans lived in enclosed dome cities or underground stations that were kept calibrated to standard Earth atmosphere. For some reason this facility seemed to be kept at a slightly higher pressure. It probably had something to do with the fact that the station was within the atmosphere of a hothouse planet similar to old Earth’s stellar neighbor Venus. She made a mental note to ask about it later when she got the chance.

The door to the airlock swung smoothly open despite the fact that it appeared to weigh nearly a metric ton. On the other side awaited a tall man who stood at full attention in a crisp military uniform. He gave a quick salute and gestured without a word for Kiara to follow him. The pair wandered down deserted corridors that had been polished to a mirror shine before arriving at the administrator’s office. The tall man knocked twice on the door before it slid into the wall, he then stood to the side of the door and snapped off another salute though Kiara noticed that his hand was trembling.

The administrator’s office was just as polished and barren as the rest of the station had been so far, the man himself, decidedly less so. The administrator was a short pale man who had cut himself badly attempting to shave with a thin ring of white hair around his head. He wore a suit which was several sizes too large and had been hastily pressed to try and remove some of the wrinkles. The administrator stood behind his desk and gave a quick nervous smile as he ushered Kiara into the room.

“Welcome to my facility. I apologize that I cannot offer more of a tour at this time but I’m afraid that I haven’t verified your clearance level yet Miss Williams.” Kiara smiled and offered a handshake ”It’s actually Mrs. Williams-Venn but Kiara will work just fine”. The administrator took her hand and then sat down quickly apologizing for the sweatiness of his palms. “Well, Kiara, I’m afraid that we haven’t had contact with EarthGov for some time now, and as such we’ve been unable to verify your rank or clearance level so until we are able to do so we cannot allow further access to this station. I hope you understand.”

Kiara took a long deep breath. It didn’t happen often, but holdouts like these were always difficult to deal with. It was an unfortunate failing of humanity that people could hold onto a failing ideology for centuries. Kiara looked the administrator over again. 15 sols of conducting personal interviews had taught her how to read people and this administrator looked nervous as hell. She’d have to play this one carefully. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name, Mr...” “Eckstein. Johnathan Eckstein.” “Well John, I’m sorry to have to be the bearer of bad news but I’m afraid you won’t be able to grant me security clearance as that office of EarthGov no longer exists.”

John screamed and fell out of his chair and the guard at the door took off running. Kiara spun around expecting a threat coming from behind, seeing nothing she stood up cautiously and looked over the desk to see John cowering on the floor. He looked up at her and sobbed “Just make it quick.” Remembering the stories she had heard of EarthGov’s brutality it finally clicked in Kiara’s head. John thought she was sent there from EarthGov to kill them all. “Uh, John, Mr Eckstein, it’s fine. You can get up. I’m not here from EarthGov. They no longer exist.” John rolled over onto his back to look up at her, tears streaming down the sides of his face as he sobbed uncontrollably. “Really?” “Yeah, really.”

The sobs eventually turned into relived laughter as John picked himself up off the floor. Finally he slumped back down into his chair and slapped the intercom switch on his desk. “Condition Green. Code 2635. We’re clear everyone.” Kiara heard a dull roar of applause and shouts from down the corridor as the rest of the station cheered in celebration. “I’m sorry for all that Kiara, we’ve just been a little on edge since that transponder lit up. Would you like a drink?” John pulled a bottle of clear liquor out of the bottom drawer of his desk along with a pair of glasses and started filling both before she could answer.

Mildly amused she took the proffered drink and tapped the glasses together in an old Earth tradition. “Cheers” John’s face split into a wide grin as he downed the drink in a single gulp. Kiara tried to take a sip and broke out into a violent coughing fit. “Oh, yeah, sorry, we distill our own around here and, well, you get used to it.” Kiara set the "drink” back on the desk and smiled again at John. “So, how about we try this again. You tell me what’s been going on at this facility and I’ll fill you in on what’s been happening in the rest of the galaxy.”

John nodded and picked up Kiara’s glass and drained that too. “Where do I start? Ok, well, we were an EarthGov secret weapons research lab. We were stationed here to conceal our location with only one transponder to communicate to our higher ups in EarthGov. Our facility is entirely self sustaining since it could take several solar rotations for us to have a window to so much as get people on or off the planet. It wasn’t unusual for us to lose contact with the outside world for long periods of time so at first we didn’t notice that it had been a while since we had last heard from anyone. That while turned into a few years, then a decade.”

Kiara checked her datapad and asked “When did your people last have contact with anyone from EarthGov?” John looked like he was considering pouring another drink but put the bottle away instead. “218 years ago, plus a few months.” Kiara’s eyes went wide and she double checked her notes. “That was almost 20 sols after EarthGov fell!” John’s gaze wandered around the room as he lost himself in thought. “Hmm. You call them sols. Makes sense if we’re not being Earth-centric about our units of measurement. But yeah, not too surprising that they tried to keep their weapons development going for so long after it all went to shit. My grandmother said they were getting kinda weird for those last few transmissions.”

Kiara scribbled notes into her datapad as she tried to wrap her head around this new information. “I had heard a lot of stories about EarthGov I just never thought that- wait did you say ‘Grandmother’? As in it’s only been 2 generations in over 200 sols?” John laughed. “Yeah, I guess I’m a lot older than I look. That’s kinda what happens when you put a bunch of medical scientists in isolation for a few hundred years. I turn 120 in a few months, or whatever unit of measurement you use these days.” Kiara stared at the short man behind the desk. It was true, aside from the hair he didn’t appear any older than his early 40s.

“That’s remarkable. Can I ask how?” John just shrugged as though one of the most significant medical breakthroughs in human history was a minor matter. “Partly genetic therapy and partly cloned organs. We grow a kind of ‘genetic blank’ version of any organ you might need that carries enough DNA to be recognizably human and then when you need something replaced we just take the information we need from your existing cells and work it into the blank. It’s not perfect and we can’t replace everything, but I have a life expectancy of over twice my current age so long as I don’t damage anything important.”

Something clicked in the back of Kiara’s mind “Like I said, remarkable, but you just said ‘medical scientists’ I thought this was a weapons research facility?” John froze in place before scrunching up his face and mutter a curse under his breath. His hand reached again for the bottle in the desk before he stopped himself. “Yeah. Biological weapons. Look I’m not proud of it. No one here is. And everyone who was originally part of the project is dead. About a century we put it to a vote decided that EarthGov was probably gone for good and even if they weren’t that we couldn’t risk that kind of destruction getting out. So we destroyed all the virus samples that weren’t viable for other forms of research. There’s not anything left on this station that could hurt anyone.”

Kiara turned her datapad’s recorder off. “I want you to know that I’m on your side on this, and that I’ll present your case to the Galactic Republic. I’m sure that it will be fine, but I need to know. were the original scientists volunteers?” John stared off in silence for several minutes before finally answering “Yeah. Most of them. I don’t think there was any real animosity towards aliens, it’s just, there wasn’t a lot of work for scientists outside of the government. And what the government wanted was a weapon that the ‘alien threat’ couldn’t defend against. At least, that’s what my grandmother said.”

Kiara’s hands clenched into fists, her knuckles aching again though she didn’t think it was still from the pressure. “Were there any projects done on a virus for Turics?” John shook his head. “Probably, but we destroyed all that a long time ago. I’ll double check the files to make sure that nothing remains though. Why? You got a thing for the big furry bastards?” John was grinning until he saw the look on Kiara’s face. “I’m going to say this just once. If you’re going to be a part of the galactic community, you’re going to need to drop those prejudices right the fuck now. I’ve dealt with a lot of backwards bullshit in this job and I can tell you that if you want off this rock you’re going to have to unlearn a lot of that ‘human first’ mentality. Got it?” John was now paler than she had ever seen a human before. “Understood! I’ll make sure to bring it up with the rest of the facility at the next meeting Kiara.”

Kiara got up still glaring at John. “It’s Mrs. Williams-Venn. And for your sake, you should hope that you don’t have to hear that name again.”

[mrlongkgraves]

Nick: Overcoming his fears to make a difference for others

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE BROWN FAMILY

People decide to participate in a clinical trial for lots of reasons. For 14-year-old Nick Brown, it came down to wanting to make a difference in the world.

Diagnosed with autism at age 5, Nick has had a lifelong aversion to hospitals, and especially to needles. Yet, when his parents told him about a new clinical trial for a medication for kids with autism, he decided to give it a try.

“When he realized the importance of the study and understood what a difference it could make in the world, participating in the trial became an important goal for him,” says his mom, Charline.

A promising medication

The medication, called balovaptan, has already shown promising results in adults and has been given breakthrough designation by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). When Nick decided to enroll in late 2017, the trial was enrolling kids ages 8 to 17. It has since opened to those ages 5 to 7. 

“This is the first medication specifically targeting social communication skills in kids with autism,” says Kate Pawlowski, research manager for the study. “Treatments usually mediate symptoms, not the core issues of autism.”

Charline heard about the study on social media and started looking at where the research was taking place. “We had never participated in a clinical trial before, but we were interested in this study because it was happening at Boston Children’s Hospital, which has such a great reputation,” she says. “We were also comforted by the fact that the medication had already been tested in adults.”

Nick with Kate Pawlowski, left, and Dr. Nicole Baumer [PHOTO: MICHAEL GODERRE/BOSTON CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL]

In December of 2017, Charline and Nick spoke with Kate on the phone, and she explained how the study worked and what was expected of Nick. “Kate was such a good fit from the start,” Charline says. “He had a lot of fears about the hospital and needles, but she explained everything to him in a way he could understand.”

Starting the trial

The first day of the trial was a little hard for Nick, but Charline says that with the help of Kate and the nurses, he made it through.

“I really appreciated the way they talked to him and helped him battle his anticipation and fear,” says Charline.  For example, they gave him a choice about having anesthetic cream put on his arm before having his blood drawn, or using a J-tip, which is a device that delivers numbing medicine directly under the skin using compressed air.

“The J-tip was really great for Nick, I’ve never seen one used anywhere else,” says Charline. “The only difficult thing for him was the sound, so he wore headphones when they did it.”

As the study moved forward, Nick relaxed, and enjoyed being a part of it. He actually looked forward to the daylong hospital visits and had a really great rapport with the team. Even the blood draws became easier, and a visiting nurse was able to draw blood every two weeks without using the J-tip. “We made the trip to Boston every six weeks. Nick had multiple blood draws, EKGs and neurological exams, and yet he always looked forward to it.”

Changes in home and at school

Because the study was blinded, Nick, his family, and his doctors don’t know if he was actually taking the medication, or getting a placebo. But Charline says they started to notice changes in his behavior, both at home and in school.

“He missed 45 days of school in seventh grade because of social anxiety,” says Charline. “Now he’s in eighth grade and has missed fewer than ten days, and some of those were for Boston Children’s visits.”

Charline says that participating in the study has given Nick new confidence. At the end of seventh grade, he presented a project to his English class to educate people about autism, and then repeated the presentation for 40 first responders in the community. “I don’t think he would have been able to do that if he hadn’t had the experience of participating in the trial at Boston Children’s,” she says.  

Nick, with his sister Andreana at Disney World, left; and playing the bishop in the musical Shrek, Jr.

At home, he’s a new kid, too. “It’s been so great for our family,” says Charline. “Before it was hard to talk with him or play a game with him, because he took everything as criticism and would have a tantrum. Now he’s more relaxed.” As Nick says, “When I was younger, I used to feel like something was not right. Now I feel like I can be proud of it, and autism is just part of my life.

Expressing himself

The family has also seen many indirect benefits of participating in an autism study that they hadn’t anticipated. Nick is better able to advocate for his needs to other people. Learning more about his diagnosis during the study has empowered him to speak up for himself and others who have autism. “When he was young, he’d say, ‘I have autism, I can’t do that,’” says Charline. “Now he says, ‘I have autism, let me explain what that means.’”

Continuing care in Boston

Now that Nick has completed the clinical trial, he is part of the open label study, officially taking the medication, and he continues to make improvements. “I told Kate that it doesn’t really matter if he was taking the medication during the trial or not. The experience of participating has changed his life and our lives for the better — it’s like night and day. We weren’t sure if a clinical trial would be too much for him, but we’re 100 percent certain we made the right decision.”

Nick and Kate during a clinic visit [PHOTO: MICHAEL GODERRE/BOSTON CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL]

Although traveling to Boston Children’s was a bit of a hike for Nick and his family, who live more than an hour away in New Hampshire, Charline says the frequent trips were worth it. In fact, they have decided to continue Nick’s care at the Autism Spectrum Center at Boston Children’s.

“People ask why travel all the way to Boston,” says Charline. “And I can honestly say that the level of care we’ve received is unmatched. We have never had anything less than a stellar experience with every person we’ve encountered at Boston Children’s, from the cleaning crew and cafeteria workers to the clinical staff. We are big fans.”

Learn more about the Autism Spectrum Center.

The post Nick: Overcoming his fears to make a difference for others appeared first on Thriving Blog.

from Thriving Blog https://on.bchil.org/2V3y4Re

[teacherunicorn]

Opposites Attract (Chapter 69)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15  Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24  Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Chapter 61 Chapter 62 Chapter 63 Chapter 64 Chapter 65 Chapter 66 Chapter 67 Chapter 68 Chapter 69 Chapter 70

Tag List: @the-chick-with-the-best-fandom, @does-it-matter129, @dcgoddess

Despite her own slightly unstable state, having Barbra around was as much of a god send as it had been the last time. The blonde was far too eager to pull her own weight in return for Alyssa’s kindness as well as her understanding with the nightmares and meltdowns that still occasionally plagued her. Not to mention that having her girlfriend back did wonders for Alyssa; she finally had someone to talk to again. Granted their discussions had become a lot darker than they had been in the past, but there was still a mutual respect and understanding. If they balanced their burdens on each other it didn’t hurt them individually.

Not as much anyway.

Not to say it was all sunshine and rainbows. Barbra may have been ‘rehabilitated’ but her advice for dealing with Alyssa’s problems was as candid as ever. She’d never been one to deal with those who wronged her -- or anyone she cared about -- in a nice way.

“What?” she said innocently when Alyssa gave her a look after she’d idly mentioned the cannibal she’d made friends with in Arkham having Edward for a snack after hearing about the letters he’d been sending. “I told him I’d break his everything if he broke your heart. This is the next best thing.”

“My heart is not broken.” Alyssa informed. “It’s just not listening to me. The letters keep showing up, and I keep reading them and fawning over them like some sappy romance movie.”

“Oh honey, you got it bad don’tcha?”

“He’s playing me like a fiddle.” she whimpered.

“What you need is a rebound.” Barbra informed.

“I dunno.” Alyssa frowned. “The last time I was attracted to a guy for pure sex appeal I ended up on the cover of eight tabloids.” she said, recalling her booty-call relationship with Oliver Queen.

“So we’ll stick to the down-low.” she shrugged. “Describe the exact opposite of he-who-must-not-be-named.”

“Harry Potter.” Alyssa said, receiving an unamused look. “Okay, okay, uh....blonde hair, blue eyes. Buff, sporty.” she shrugged. “Lack of criminal record.”

“To the bar!”

******

Alyssa had never felt more uncomfortable in a bar, which was saying something as she had worked for Fish Mooney. Downing what had to be her third glass of liquid courage, she scanned the area. She needed someone who was the polar opposite of Edward; or at the very least someone who could get him out of her head. This was Gotham, one night stands were common. She herself had had plenty. Come on! Where was that rebel that had always gotten her in trouble?

She didn’t remember most of the night, as ‘liquid courage’ quickly took over. When she woke up with a splitting headache in a bed that was not her own next to well-built blonde who wasn’t wearing clothes however, she knew Barbra’s plan had succeeded.

Oh geez, she was gonna have to do the walk of shame again wasn’t she?

*****

It might’ve been the hangover, but Alyssa did not return Barbra’s smile when she returned to the apartment later that morning.

“So, how was your night?”

“No idea, can’t remember.” she said, taking the offered bottle of aspirin. “I remember the first few drinks, decking the scumbag who tried to pick us both up at the same time....and then the rest is just bits and pieces.”

“And....?”

“Huh?”

“No he-who-must-not-be-named thoughts. Goodie.” Barbra said with an accomplished smile.

“I barely have any thoughts at all.” Alyssa scowled. “We’ve gotta tone this down. I do still have a job you know.”

“Okay, okay.” she laughed. “No banging hangovers. Got it.”

Alyssa sighed and rubbed at her temples. “Think you can handle the kids today? I’ve got another meeting with Strange.”

“Why you keep going back there I will never know.” Barbra shook her head.

“Something’s off about that place B.”

“It’s mental institution.”

“That’s not what I mean. It’s a different kind of off. Strange is up to something, and whatever it is, every patient in Arkham is in the line of fire. Now you may be out, but I’ve got too many friends still in there to just let him do whatever he’s doing.” with that, she headed into her room to change out of last night’s clothes, missing the smile on her friend’s face.

******

There had been a time when Alyssa had been on top of the world in both Gotham and Arkham alike. She was a queen in every sense of the word, and with that came a rather addictive feeling of power and control.

That feeling had long since faded however, and Alyssa was ashamed to admit that she now understood why nearly everyone got nervous and uncomfortable when made to enter the asylum.

It did not help at all that the way to Strange’s office took her right past the rec room. Three guesses who was there.

“She really made you say all that?” Aaron asked Ruddy, referring to one of the alternate personalities in his head caused by multiple personality disorder. Aaron was kind of stupid, so he had been tricked into believing that ‘Lucy’ was a ghost.

“Yeah. W-wasn’t me.” Ruddy stuttered.

“Sorry. Lucy thinks I’m handsome?” Aaron asked Ed, who had made up the story about Lucy being a ghost and pretended to have a conversation with her to stop the two from fighting.

“Mhm.” he nodded. “Isn’t that right Lu-” he was looking over his shoulder at ‘Lucy’ but instead spotted Alyssa. She tried to get past before he reached the chain-link gate that separated them, but failed. “Hello Alyssa. Have you been getting my letters?”

“Yes.” Alyssa said shortly.

“Many have hear me, but no one has seen me and I will not speak back until spoken to, what am I?”

“....An echo.”

He nodded; once again Alyssa had gotten his riddle correct. “The letters were an echo of our relationship, but I begin to worry that’s all they are to you. An echo of the past that you expect to fade away.”

“Should I be expecting something different?”

He gave her a sad, hurt look that reminded Alyssa of a three year old who had just been scolded. “Of course. I love you.”

“Don’t.” she said simply, turning on her heel and continuing on her way. She had succeeded in keeping Edward from seeing the vulnerability in her eyes or seeing her lower lip tremble, but she missed the look of longing and regret on his face as he watched her go.

******

Alyssa did her best to steel her expression as she came to Strange’s office, rapping firmly on the door.

“Come in.” the door swung open and shut behind her. “Madame Mayor. So good to see you again, please have a seat.”

Alyssa sat down and opened the folder she had brought with her, getting right down to business. “This is Karen Jennings.” she held out a photo of a young woman. “She was murdered last week.”

“How tragic, but I fall to see what this woman has to do with any of our lines of discussion.”

“Well according to a witness of the event, she was murdered by Victor Fries, who’s been dead for three months.”

“How remarkable.”

“Ms. Jennings was a test subject at a place called Pinewood Farms, before she passed she mentioned you were involved with the project.”

“That was a long time ago Madame Mayor, and is neither here nor there.”

“Humor me.” Alyssa said stiffly.

Strange sighed. “Pinewood Farms was a Wayne Enterprises program started by Thomas Wayne in an attempt to cure humanities greatest aliments on the genetic level. Old age, disease, even death.”

“But that’s not what happened is it?” Alyssa raised an eyebrow. “Way I heard it the program tried to play god, and you ended up creating monsters.”

“I was just a researcher, with no knowledge of that until, it was too late.”

“A man of your skills and expertise a lowly researcher?” she gave him a smile that held no kindness whatsoever. “I find that hard to believe.”

“But it’s true. Mr. Wayne excelled at compartmentalizing every aspect of his life; within Pinewood the left hand often didn’t know what the right was doing. He lied to us all.”

“Not many people would see you as the victim here.”

“I was one of the ones who forced Thomas Wayne to shut down the program, but by then....so many people had been hurt.”

“Hm. I have a theory; I believe you ran Pinewood Farms. I believe you’ve restarted the program, and I believe you’re using the patients here at Arkham as test subjects.”

“A fascinating theory, Madame Mayor. But one I think, has little standing.”

“Maybe.” Alyssa shrugged. “But that wasn’t a denial.”

“Why are you really here, Madame Mayor?”

“Excuse me?”

“Sine the day I took my position here at Arkham you’ve fought me on every moved I’ve made tooth and nail why, one could claim you don’t want my patients to progress.”

“On the contrary, I just want to make sure it’s in the right direction.” she smiled stiffly. “You see Professor Strange, while you’re right in your assumptions that I don’t like you at all, I acknowledge the fact that you’re a smart man. You thought Arkham would be the perfect playground because no one would care what happened to the patients here. But if that were true, you and I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

“Hm. And why do you care so much for my patients Madame Mayor? I’ve seen you interact with them, and I dare say you almost look too at home among the criminally insane.”

“I didn’t come here for a therapy session.” Alyssa snapped.

“No, it’s more like an interrogation. But I indulged your curiosity, it seems only fair you indulge mine.”

“It’s called empathy, Professor Strange. I know it may be something you lack, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us are.”

“Hm.”

“What?”

“You just exhibited several tells. Facial ticks, expressions and eye movements that people involuntarily betray themselves with when they lie.”

Alyssa gave him a tight smile. “Let’s talk about Victor Fries.”

“Victor Fries is dead.”

“Really, the how’d he manage to murder Karen Jennings last week?”

“You must have been misinformed Madame Mayor, that’s impossible.”

“Hm.” Alyssa placed a sealed envelope with the mayor’s office seal on the front on Strange’s desk. “This is a court order signed by district attorney Dent to exhume Fries’ body. Where’s it buried?”

“He was cremated.” Strange said simply.

“Thank you.” Alyssa smiled at him, standing from her chair.

“For what?”

“I can read tells too. You’re lying. As you said, my theory didn’t have much to stand on. Now it does.” she turned and pulled the office door open. “Good day Professor.”

The best part? The envelope was empty.

******

Alyssa was all for going after Strange now that she knew for sure something was up and it wasn’t just her imagination. Jim Gordon however was...well, Jim Gordon, and he wanted to do things ‘the right way’ which meant finding finite evidence that could lead back to Strange -- that way they could get an arrest warrant and put the man away for good. This way of doing things was far too slow for Alyssa’s liking however.

Nathaniel Barnes, for all his good morals, was a real hard ass. Alyssa suspected the weight of the job he had taken was finally beginning to dawn on him, and as with all of his kind before him his optimism was going out the window. She would have felt bad for the man, had she not been so annoyed by him.

“Hey Cap, look what I found.” Harvey said pleasantly as Barnes came over to them from addressing the media cirrus surrounding the crime scene they were currently standing on.

“Shut it Bullock!” he snapped at him. “You have one hell of a nerve!” he said, pointing at Jim. “You think I don’t know it was you that busting Karen Jennings outta GCPD custody? Tell me it wasn’t you!”

“Captain --” Jim tried, but Barnes cut him off.

“No, I don’t wanna hear it! How do I keep falling for your games? Really it’s a mystery to me. Every time that you come back, I truly believe that you’ve changed, you’re like an optical illusion.”

“Listen, Alyssa and I just need five minutes of your time.”

“Hardgrove, Sneed!” Barnes called over his shoulder to the officers behind him. “Escort Mr. Gordon off my crime scene. Immediately.”

“You two will stay where you are and that’s an order.” Alyssa said before the men could take a single step towards them. “As for you Captain Barnes, I’ll remind you still answer to the mayor’s office. Jim Gordon’s tendency to irritate everyone around him aside, I respectfully ask that you hear him out.”

Several things happened then. Barnes gave her as surprised look at the word ‘Captain’, Jim gave her an annoyed one at the comments about him, and Harvey muttered an admiring ‘Damn’ under his breath at the end of her speech.

“Fine. Five minutes -- No, three minutes.”

******

It was about sixteen minutes later that the GCPD captain looked as though he wanted to make a call to send both his former detective and Gotham’s mayor to Arkham.

“So, in a nutshell, Hugo Strange is making monsters out of dead people in his spare time. And he had Karen Jennings killed by Victor Fries, who’s been dead for three months.”

“I know, it sounds farfetched --” Jim started.

“Farfetched? No. It sounds insane!”

“But it’s true!” Alyssa snapped. “Trust me.”

“How can I trust you when you’re talkin’ crazy? How can I trust you when you’ve both lied to me so many times? Monsters?!”

“We lie to you because it’s hard to tell you the truth!” Jim exclaimed. “You’re stubborn and you’re angry; and the GCPD has paid a price for it!”

“Really? You self-righteous punk, you think you have all the answers? Maybe you should run it yourself!”

“That can be arranged!”

“Don’t you threaten me!” Barnes snapped at Alyssa.

The argument was cut short by the sound of someone jumping down from the rafters. All three turned to look.

“Who’s there?” Barnes called. The only answer was a dark figure that loomed on the other side of the room. “I said who’s out there?”

“What the hell?” Jim muttered as the figure stepped closer to them. He appeared to be dressed in some kind of amour, complete with a cape and mask.

“James Gordon. The time for your penance has come.”

“You know this guy?” Barnes cast Jim a look.

Jim shook his head slightly. “Who are you?”

“I am Azrael. Rrrrighteous scourge of sins. And I have come to kill you, James Gordon.” there was barely a second for the three to share a look before ‘Azrael’ drew a sword from his back, causing them to draw guns in return.

“Put down the weapon!” Barnes yelled. “Put it down right now, or I’ll shoot!”

The man made a show of kneeling down as though he were going to obey the order, but then quickly disappeared into the shadows from which he came.

Three weapons were discharged in his direction as he fled, but he was too fast for all of them. Then, out of absolutely no where there was a hefty kick in Alyssa’s side, then Barnes’, sending both flying.

“Alyssa! Captain!” Jim cried out in worry, but he had his own problems to deal with. The masked man was now coming after him with the intent to kill instead of wound. The sword glared under the florescent lights as he dodged it’s swings. He was knocked to the floor and was very close to getting stabbed by it, but by then the officers outside had burst in to see what all the ruckus was about.

“Jim!” Harvey yelled, aiming and firing his own gun at Azrael. The officers behind him did the same, and though several bullets hit their target they had absolutely no effect. Azrael seemed to understand he was outnumbered however, as he was quick to jump back up the rafters and out a window.

“You okay?” Barnes asked Alyssa once the shooting had died down.

“Yeah.” Alyssa sat up with a grunt. “You?”

“Peachy.” he said, his eyes fixed on where Azrael had disappeared.

******

Back at the precinct, Barnes made one of his signature rousing speeches before sending his officers out to find this ‘Azrael.’ He stopped Jim Gordon from following them however, stating that he needed to stay behind for his own protection.

“I’m not a cop anymore, remember? I don’t need to follow your orders.”

“You’re absolutely right.” Barnes nodded. “You two! Put Mr. Gordon and Ms. Connors here in lock up.”

“What?” Jim and Alyssa said at the same time.

“I’m holding you two on suspicion of breaking Karen Jennings out of GCPD custody.”

“When did I get involved in that?!” Alyssa exclaimed.

“The second you came to me with a case against Hugo Strange.” he informed. “You may be the mayor, but I’m still allowed to have you down as a suspect.”

“Don’t do this!” Jim called as he turned away, the officers already putting handcuffs on Alyssa and himself.

“I’ve already done it.”

Alyssa grumbled under her breath and rubbed at her wrists once the cuffs were removed and the gate to the holding cell slammed in her face.

“Any time you wanna come back to work,” she said to her cellmate. “you can have his job.”

[red1sweird]

ALLLLLLL of the creepy asks things

Well then, anon, prepare for a long-ass post

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

Yeah, it was my mom, so of course she meant it

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

What the fuck, no, I’m still in high school

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Uh, proooobablyyyy when I summoned my fourth Eliwood, a really good unit, but I kinda wanted Leo and/or Ike?

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Probably not, I’m really shy

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

No, I’ve never been in a relationship, and I practically don’t have a love life (I have had crushes now and then but really they’ve kinda came and went)

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Today? No, and I can’t remember if I’ve heard a song at all that reminded me of someone

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Jeans, socks, a volleyball t-shirt, nothing fancy

8. How often do you listen to music?

It really depends on how I’m feeling, sometimes it’s often and sometimes it’s not

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

I only own one pair of sweats, so jeans but I wish it were sweats cause they’re way more comfortable

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

??? It’s 2017??? But I guess it kinda did since I got my first laptop (I’m using it rn actually) 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Antisocial, no question

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Nope

13. What about ‘R’?

No14. Can you drive a stick shift?

A what?

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Well, I try not to, but it hurts

16. Are you going out of town soon?

Yep. I go to my mom’s home country of Honduras every summer, and I’m going to Tampa this summer too

17. When was the last time you cried?

When I summoned my Takumi, Robin, and Roy simultaneously

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Does my family count?

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Nah, I like my brown eye color

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I dunno, school I guess? But My last day was today so :/

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

What kind of stereotypical straight girl wrote this?

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

I’ve never been in a relationship, and it would be incest, because it was my sister

24. What are you sitting on right now?

My bed

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

No, my best friend says he loves me as a sister but that’s it

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

No, I have no interest in relationships

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

My sister

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

No not really

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

A volleyball tournament

30. Does anyone hate you?

Probably, i just don’t know (My sister doesn’t count cause we’ve said that since 2004)

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

No, I’m a minor, so I can’t drink, and due to past experiences, I don’t want to drink when I’m 21

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

Fuck no

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Why??? Would I want that???

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

Third grade

35. Did you have a dream last night?

Not that I can remember

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

This morning

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

No, I’ll literally be in college and that’s a bad idea

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Maybe, today someone told me they had a crush on me last year, but got over it

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

If you don’t count my mom, who loves me and my sister to death

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Yeah, I went to Milwaukee with my class and it was fun

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Please see questions 5 and 23

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

Yeah, everyone in my class, actually, because we’re having a little end-of-the-year thing

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

My parents

44. What’s the best part about school?

I guess hanging out with my friends

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

I don’t have a facebook lmao, my parents probably have pictures of me on their accounts tho

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

One time 2 years ago I did

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Yep

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Please see previous questions

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

No, I was in middle school back then

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Nothing, actually

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

Not really, he’s just some dude in my class

52. Are you nice to everyone?

I try

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Depends on the context. Crush? No. As a friend? Yeah

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yeah, I’ve gone through a lot of bullshit that had to do with cheating (long story) and I’m pretty sure my partner is gonna have a very loyal wife/girlfriend

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I don’t know lol

56. Do you think you like someone?

Nope

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

No

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Either is fine

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Uhhhh no

60. Do you hate anyone?

Trump Eh, not really

61. How’s your heart?

It’s in…perfect condition…?

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Oh, yes. A million times yes

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

These relationship questions are stupid, no

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

Probably my sister or my step-sister lmao

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

Pink isn’t my color, and I haven’t painted them in a while

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

It’s probably gonna be my dear mother, so no

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

Who wrote these?

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Thankfully, no

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

I had to call my mom to pick me up from the bus stop when I got back from Milwaukee yesterday

70. How do you look right now?

A mess

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

Nah, not really

72. Can you commit to one person?

In a romantic or platonic relationship?

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Yeah, his name is my best friend (I respect his privacy okay)

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Tons of times

75. Did you wake up cranky?

Not this morning, but I have yeah

76. Are you a jealous person?

Kindaaaa

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

Nope

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

(Don’t tell him I said this) My best friend is kinda overbearing, and a little show offy, and he’s kinda being really annoyinh to everyone soo…

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

My older sister (not the other one, who is younger)

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Go to church (I was raised catholic)

81. Last person you cried in front of?

I don’t think I’ve cried in front of anyone since I was a little girl

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

My entire class is pretty unforgettable

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

I don’t have feelings for anyone lmao

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Talking about memes, my older sister is pretty lit

85. Are you over your past?

If you don’t count that one embarrassing thing I did years ago, yea

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Nope

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

They’re called parents who are good at parenting, maybe when you’re a parent, you can try it

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

Lmao what “true love”

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

I’d let my mom in, she lives here

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

I don’t think so

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

Nooooope

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Yep, he’s the shortest person in the class lmao

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

No, but I know a Matthew

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

See the other relationship questions

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

I haven’t had a crush since the fifth grade lol

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

My mom is really pretty

97. Who do you have texts from?

Mainly my parents, my siblings, sometimes my friends

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I wouldn’t care as long as they’re happy

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Not counting family, no

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

No one, on instagram, it’s literally Takumi, on here it’s chrom, but I did have a pfp with my cousin once

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

I’ve never kissed anyone ever lmao

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

When i had my last ‘crush’ in fifth grade

Wow that took a long time, but there you go, anon