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ferperss · 9 months ago

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Loved reading your lore so thank you for the tag!! @sportsthoughts

I spent waaaay too much time writing this but once I started I felt like I couldn’t stop lmao, so I’m applauding anyone that gets through it!

The story of how I ended up where I am today is a long and winding road lmao. But I think I should start by prefacing with the fact that hockey has been a part of my life since I was born essentially. There are pictures of me on a pair of skates at around age 2 when my dad first tried to teach me! Then I played consistently from age 6 to 14 but quit when they wanted me to leave the “girls” team and play with the women because I was intimidated haha. Besides playing myself I’ve also spent many hours with my dad on the couch watching Sweden play in any and all kinds of tournaments, worlds, Olympics you name it, and since he never really rooted for any other team in Sweden or outside of it I just kind of slowly fell into that same thing. I knew there was a hockey league overseas that a lot of our own players were shipped off to but I never really had any interest in rooting for a team that wasn’t team Sweden at the time.

In the winter of 2014, I was at the ripe age of 15 and I did not play hockey anymore nor did I care about any teams really, but two of my best friends at the time became OBSESSED with this one junior player and kept talking about him. This man was none other than Thee Mr Willy Nylander himself. This led to the three of us obsessing over him and we watched him play in the world juniors over our winter break. It got to the point of us picking fights with people on twitter that said he was a bad player and really anyone that said anything negative about our Swedish players hahaha. We had a group chat named after him and everything. We eventually lost interest and forgot about him but this story is important because it comes back later.

Flash forward to May 2023! Before I entered my hockey era again I had an eight month long absolutely crushing obsession with the TV show 9-1-1 that was airing on Fox at the time (ABC now thank god, I still keep track) that came to a screeching halt when the season 6 finale aired and I hated it. I swore up and down that I was never ever going to watch that show again and now that the one thing I had been so fixated on for so long was gone I did not know what to do with myself. Which sounds so dramatic but honestly sometimes I don’t know who I am if I have nothing to obsess over. So naturally I needed entertainment and as I looked up through the haze of firefighters and network drama I found that the 2023 IIHF World Championship in Tampere and Riga was on! And I had no choice! There was hockey to be watched and I sure did watch it. Now, it did not go too well for the Swedish team last year, which is okay. But one thing that happened was the constant debate on wether Willy Nylander was going to join in. His brother was there and his teammate Timothy Liljegren also joined in. But there was no word on Willy himself. And it was all they talked about. He obviously did not end up joining but all the talk had made me nostalgic. And naturally I had to revisit the old object of obsession and see how he was doing over the Atlantic and turns out he was doing quite well indeed. And because I am a sucker for team dynamics and narratives (who could ever believe I studied film for five years) I desperately clung onto the Toronto Maple Leafs like my life depended on it. What I didn’t know was that these were also transformative times, and once I’d gotten into the team and the organization, I was bewildered when Kyle Dubas all of a sudden was going to another team??? How could that be?? The Penguins?? And that’s when I found my way to the Pittsburgh Penguins, the power of Dubas’ cardigans and Sidney Crosby’s fat ass gripped me and now I split my time between my equally cursed teams like they’re my divorced parents. And here we are.

Naturally there are a lot of nuances left out of here, I’ve covered the key points but I think that there are probably so many reasons that it was the perfect time for me to get into hockey again and here we are almost a year later and there’s no going back now!! I’m stuck here forever. And I would not have it any other way <3

This is the end of ramblings and I’ll say if there’s anything I love more than hockey, it’s being dramatic, and also I didn’t spell check this at all so if it’s not perfect I’m sorry (I’d love to blame it on English not being my first language but it’s the only subject I’ve always had straight A’s in so it’s not really applicable it’s just me being lazy)

#still need fo figure out how I’m tagging my personal stuff #I was going to use #not hockey just me #but that’s not really true in this case so I don’t know #tag games

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one-abuse-survivor · 3 years ago

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my mom is literally impossible. everything i want to do, enjoy or experience she finds some way to demotivate me or go crazy enough to deter me from it for good. im still really struggling with how to deal with it. physical stuff is so much easier to deal with than mental/emotional. tonight, for example, she starts yelling at me for not having a job, having a horrible attendance at college, and just being in bed all day, which, as i lay them out like that, they’re reasonable things to be asking your seemingly bum of a child. she goes further into comparing me to my cousin. hes doing much higher level things in college, and not only does he have a full attendace there, he has a job too, so his schedule is almost always booked. mine is not. he is an entire 9 months younger than me, which ofc gives me full seniority over him and should put me much further in life than him. at least thats what mum has consistently held over my head since the ripe age of 8. i decide to play along and question back, why doesn’t he have 3 jobs? my friend, who is 5 months older (which is a lot obvs /j) has 3 part time jobs, whilst attending full college (at a high level), and still has time for extra ciricullars. she was confused and was like ?? why are you bring this up? i tried to tell her that, theres always gonna be someone better than you, and worse than you, so its very unfair to compare yourself to others in a way that makes you both feel guilty for doing things most cant, and for not doing things most can. she very quickly changed topic but continued to bash me over the head with my constant horrible attendence, that i should be at a better place in life if I had just taken my exams and got on with things. when she says things like that it hurts and throws me into a spiral. it feels like she has all the control over whether or not i fall into the pit of depression again or not. ofc she never chooses that i don’t. im not sure if i really should be asking you for advice on how to deal with this as you arent a liscened therapist, but i really need some. every time we have one of these arguments, i feel like im 15 again, back to being suicidal and wanting to sh and just wanting to not exist anymore. i truly hate it because thats not me anymore, ive tried so hard to pull myself out of each depressive episode alone and i hate that all my hard work can be undone with a sentence from her. i cant do to her what i did to my dad. practically pretend they dont exist, never speak to them and ice them out until now we only speak once a month, if that. it sounds awful, i know, but im very proud of myself for getting to that stage with him, its hard to go no contact when you live with them. (he was very abusive, as is my mum, but he quite literally ruined my life and i have to pick up the pieces whilst he gets to enjoy himself every day. i have to watch the man who wanted to beat me, hurt me, and who yelled at me until i became suicidal, have the time of his life having a redo with my cousin, spending all of his new money on any and all his interests, and becoming closer with my sister. its literal torture.) unfortunatley still have to deal with mum. to put it coldly and horribly, shes the one with access to the heat, clothes, food, bedding, electricity,etc, i need her until i can move out. i cant really break that bond just yet as i still need her so i dont die. (ik i can be homeless and be in foster care but im lucky enough to have the choice to say no to those things so im taking advantage of it) i am sorry if this in any way comes across cold, mean, or passive agressive. the argument mentioned above happened just 20 minutes ago and its still pretty raw, and im not the best at processing my emotions lol. thank you so much for your time, i hope your evening is going great (:

Hi! Don't worry about your tone, nonnie. You're allowed to express your emotions, and especially to be frustrated and upset after what happened with your mom. All I ask is for people to remain respectful to me and anyone else who might read their ask, which you definitely did :)

I'm sorry you're in this situation, it sounds really tough 😔 of course you'd rather stay with her than be homeless! I really hope you're not downplaying what she's putting you through or doubting your trauma and abuse because you're choosing to live with her. All you're doing is trying to keep yourself safe. There's nothing wrong with that.

And I also don't think it's awful that you managed to cut out your dad so successfully! It's very similar to what I did with my mother, and I honestly think you ought to be proud of yourself for taking so many steps to protect yourself in spite of how complicated it can be to cut out a parent like that.

Regarding your mum, while it's not unreasonable to want you not to be in bed all day, it IS unreasonable to verbally and emotionally abuse you because of it. She's putting you down, constantly comparing you with others, triggering you, and worsening your mental health. If she really wanted you to have a better life, she'd be offering her kindness and support—not contributing to all the reasons you're struggling right now.

I don't really have much advice, other than to tell you it's okay to set boundaries and to take any steps you can to protect yourself even if you can't cut her out yet. You're not awful for being affected by her words. You're not weak for getting triggered around her. You're not cold or mean for standing up for yourself. You don't owe her anything just because she gives you a roof and a bed, and it's okay for you to acknowledge that. Please, try to be as kind to yourself as possible until you can get out of there. You're doing your best right now. Your best doesn't have to look like anyone else's, because no one else is living their life under exactly the same circumstances as you, so please try to remember that when she compares you with others.

Sending all my support your way ❤️

#ask #abuse #abuse tw #abusive mother #emotional abuse tw #physical abuse tw #verbal abuse tw #suicidal tw #self harm mention #self harm tw #abusive father tw

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atla-hcs-and-bakoda · 4 years ago

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Bato’s Backstory

ok so this is gonna be long, buckle up. This is my personal interpretation of bato’s backstory, it likely makes no canonical or reasonable sense, but canon does not exist and i make the rules. this is purely self-indulgent crack-treated-seriously. This is what all the other hcs, unless stated otherwise, will be set in.

Note about Bato: in my interpretation of him, he has teal/cyan eyes and darker brown hair than in the show, his skin tone has not changed.

(unfortunately this is not a zukka au, just a bakoda one. bato’s backstory is kind of an au in my mind, so when i do ship zukka, its not in this au)

(the bold letters at the beginning of the paragraphs are for accessibility)

‘Present’ (only a few months after zuko’s coronation) ages: Hakoda & Bato - 41 Kya - 42 Iroh - 65 Ozai - 47

under the cut because oh boy this is long, sorry asdfghfd

So, our story begins in the fire nation, about 59 AG, Iroh is the 25 year old crown prince, and recently had a child with his wife, Minami, on the coldest day of winter. They named him Shui, and they, quite frankly, spoilt him with their love. Minami stayed in the castle while Iroh was at war, and always sang to Shui while putting his hair up or putting him to bed.

One day, when Shui was 9, Azulon decided to take his family to Ember Islands on vacation, like the royal family has been doing for generations. However, there was a bad storm, and the ship got thrown near the south. Little Shui followed Iroh onto the deck, and fell overboard when a big wave hit the other side of the boat, rocking it and making him fall.

The royal family and crew tried to save him, but the waves dragged him under, and once the storm cleared, he was presumed dead. Iroh and Minami mourned the loss of their first son, who died so young that he hardly got to live life at all. Ozai mourned to a minor extent, as he was 15 at the time and wasn’t as bad as he is in the present, but not for as long as Shui’s parents, or grandfather, did.

Meanwhile, in the southern water tribe, little 9 year old Hakoda was wandering down at the seaside with his father when he came across a young boy unconscious in the snow, the cold water nearly freezing him to death. His father hurried him back to the tribe with the young boy’s body. For days, Hakoda sat beside the bed, rarely moving from the spot, keeping watch on the mystery boy. And eventually, he woke up.

Hakoda introduced himself once the boy was fully awake, but when asked his name, the boy said “i...i don’t remember...” So, instead, Hakoda decided to pick a name for him; Bato. The boy agreed to the name, and after a week, got adopted by one of the tribesmen, a close friend of Hakoda’s father. After that, the two children were an unstoppable duo, they did many successful pranks on everyone, including Hakoda’s mother, Kanna.

However, every once in a while, Bato would blurt out something without thinking, and when questioned, wouldn’t be able to remember it at all. For instance, Bato and Hakoda were once watching the stars late at night, when Bato pointed at a constellation and called it Druk. Hakoda laughed, but Bato insisted that was its name. Hakoda asked where Bato learned that, since thats not what their tribe calls it, and Bato had no recollection of learning it.

(This continued well into teenagehood, when Bato realised at the ripe old age of 14 that he was, in fact, in love with his best friend. He didn’t come out for a long time, in fear of his tribe’s reaction. Deep down he knew they’d accept him with open arms, but his anxiety said otherwise.)

At 12, there was a fire nation raid while Bato was at the seaside, and he recognised both the ship and flag instantly despite not being told prior about the Southern Raiders. He ran to tell the chief, and thanks to his quick reaction, saved the tribe to a degree. Many waterbenders still died, however.

At 15, Bato and Hakoda went ice-dodging with their respective fathers- and eachother. Hakoda recieved the mark of the wise, and Bato recieved the mark of the brave.

One night at 15, they were cuddling in Hakoda’s bed (because thats what best friends do, of course. its cold, no other reason, totally not) when Hakoda noticed Bato’s eye color; Teal. not the regular water tribe blue, not a dark blue, or even a light blue, but pure Teal. Although hakoda would still argue to this day that bato’s eyes are cyan. When questioned about his eye color, Bato shrugged and brushed it off as an uncommon trait. But Hakoda realised nobody else in the tribe had cyan eyes, just blue.

Then, at 16, the boys got into a bad avalanche that resulted in Hakoda getting knocked out. Bato woke up hours later, and pulled his best friend out of the snow. He realised Hakoda wasnt breathing, and started to cry, taking his gloves off to cling to Hakoda and try feel the warmth of his pulse, to no avail. He closed his eyes and cried, when his hands lit on fire. When he realised what he just did, he put the flame out and made a plan, carrying Hakoda to the dog sled quite a bit from the avalanche, and set them on course for the tribe while he carefully lit his hands back on fire after a few attempts, and kept Hakoda warm.

Just before they got to the tribe, Hakoda started breathing again, shallowly, and his father quickly took both of them to the healer when they arrived back. This time, it was Bato who sat beside the bed and waited for Hakoda to wake up, refusing to eat much until his friend woke up.

He never told anyone about his bending.

A few months later, Hakoda met and started dating Kya, and Bato’s heart broke. he was happy for hakoda, he really was, but deep down it still hurt him to see him with someone else.

At 20, Hakoda’s father went off to war. At 22, Hakoda became Chief, and Bato became the second-in-command.

At 23, Hakoda proposed to Kya after like 20 failed attempts at carving a betrothal necklace. Bato’s heart broke a tiny bit more, but he ignored it to be happy for his friend. Bato had to sleep alone for the first time since he joined the southern water tribe, he didn’t sleep much when alone.

2 years later, at 25, Sokka was born, and Bato babysat him a lot when Hakoda and Kya were busy. Bato admittedly vented to baby sokka quite a bit, and showed him very minor firebending tricks he practiced during sleepless nights, which was most nights.

At 26, Katara was born, and Bato now babysat two little children, both of which he adored with all his heart. He himself is infertile, so Katara and Sokka were the closest thing he had to his own children.

Things went mostly peacefully for years, until 34, when Kya got killed. After the raid, Hakoda wouldnt eat for days at a time, completely depressed and exhausted. Bato would offer him small plates of food and sit with him, letting him vent or cry or whatever Hakoda needed to do to get the stress and pain out. He also looked after Sokka and Katara while Hakoda couldn’t, and usually slept next to Hakoda’s bed, watching over the chief, along with his kids, as both children were terrified to sleep by themselves, Hakoda was scared of losing them, and Bato couldn’t bare the thought of not keeping them safe.

After years of recovering, Hakoda eventually had to head out to war with the men of the tribe, Bato included. Bato’s heart broke watching Sokka beg to come with them, but he knew it was for the best.

3 months after leaving, Bato came out to Hakoda in the Chieftan’s private room in the boat, and Hakoda accepted him with open arms, and promised to not tell anyone until Bato was ready. Bato fell a lot more in love.

At 5 months, he started very carefully dropping hints to Hakoda that he likes him, slightly-too-friendly-to-be-platonic compliments, cuddling him in hakoda’s room “because its cold” (they were nowhere near cold climates), and other vaugely homoerotic stuff like that. All of it went over Hakoda’s head.

(At 6 months he straight up told Hakoda at night on the deck “Your my stars, Hakoda. Whenever i’m lost, you always bring me home.”, and Hakoda responded “Thanks Bato, I’m happy your my friend too.”, Bato stayed awake all night in utter disbelief. He still teases Hakoda about it.)

1 year after leaving, Bato realised he might not be as much of a guy as he thought he was. He silently decided to put that train of thoughts on hold until the war was over. (In his heart he knew the war would never be over until the fire nation won. especially with sozin’s comet only a year away and- he doesnt remember what sozin’s comet is.)

When his arm got burned, he burned the soldier right back with his good arm out of sight of everyone else, and managed to shove them overboard before the pain hit him. He’s always had a high pain tolerance. After the fight ended, Hakoda carried Bato to the abbey, and they had a tearful goodbye, where Bato quietly confessed his love as Hakoda walked out the room. Hakoda thought about it until he saw Bato again.

When they reunited, Hakoda confessed his love back to Bato, and they kissed right in the open, it took a lot of self control for the other tribesmen to not cheer, they had known for literally forever, the only person in the tribe who didnt know bato was in love with hakoda was hakoda.

Somehow, it took until the war was over for Sokka and Katara to find out they had a step-dad. They already considered Bato to be their second dad, so not much exactly changed.

The day of Zuko’s coronation, Bato got talking with Iroh, and when the topic came to children, Iroh explained how both his sons were dead, one dying at 9 from a storm, and the other dying at 20 from war. When Iroh says his youngest (eldest?) son’s name, Shui, Bato remembers the storm, and Iroh notices Bato’s rare cyan eyes.

They have a nice reunion, although Bato has to sit down for a while to process all this and figure out his family tree. He decides not to tell Hakoda yet, but he does spend a while walking through the palace with Iroh and remembering parts of his early childhood. He cant bring himself to go into the room of firelord portraits.

A month after zuko’s coronation, he sits Hakoda down and explains that he’s a bender, and he’s apparently fire nation royalty. Hakoda gets temporarily mad, but eventually calms down and hugs Bato when his friend told him that his firebending saved both himself and hakoda, and that he would never be like his forefathers or uncle. Hakoda takes a while to fully accept it, but eventually warms up (heh) to the concept, and continues to use Bato as a personal space heater.

Two months after zuko’s coronation, he finally decides to tackle the “i’m not as much as a guy as i thought” issue, and he decides to go to Iroh and Toph for advice over tea, where Iroh suggests some wise stuff, but Toph simply explains what non-binary is, and suggests Bato may be Demiboy. (Although Bato prefers to call himself Demiguy, he doesnt like being called a boy) The Gender Crisis continues for about another week, and takes another half a month for him to come out to Hakoda. Bato was somewhat internally afraid he wouldnt be counted as one of the men, but Hakoda was overwhelmingly supportive, and admitted that he knew Bato wasn’t exactly cis, he just never knew the words to use.

Bato spends a while at the palace after the coronation to get his bearings on being half fire nation and a prince, he learns purple is a very good color on him.(Hakoda later jokes that it was foreshadowing for Bato realising he was enby, as he wasnt blue or red)

He bonds quite a bit with Zuko, Iroh, and Toph during his stay, but eventually goes back to the southern water tribe, the place he truly considers home. Although, he does go and visit the fire nation every once in a while. He even goes to Ember Islands and has a vacation day with both of his families.

After about two years, He finally makes a betrothal necklace for Hakoda, with the symbol of the water tribe on it and flames coming up from the waves, both of them totally cry happy tears when he proposes privately under the light of the aurora.

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littlemisssquiggles · 4 years ago

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Also simple question, I am seeing it is kind of split with how Weiss handled Whitley when her team was seeking shelter. I see some say Weiss was in the right and Whitley was just being a jerk, others say Weiss went too far and disregared her promise to Willow. Me I am unsure of Weiss but I do know Whitley was justified in his objections. What do you thing?

Hiya Crystal. For me, it's a case where I feel both sides were more or less justified in a sense.

While I understand that RWBN needed a temporary shelter to crash for the night while Nora was in recovery, I do believe Whit was vindicated in his unwillingness to aid the group given the all-important fact that they are criminals wanted by General Ironwood and the Atlesian Military.

By hiding at Schnee Manor, Weiss is unintentionally making the rest of her family look like accomplices for harbouring them which could result in Willow and Whit either being locked away in jail along with Jacques or worse.

As we saw from the first episode, Ironwood is not in the right frame of mind right now. If he was willing to outright kill the remaining members of the Atlas Council who stand to oppose his actions to defend the kingdom and/or forcibly impose the aid of Arthur Watts despite his crimes against his kingdom as a means of getting Penny to return to him against her will, then what's stopping Ironwood from deeming the whole Schnee Family (minus Winter, of course) as traitors to Atlas and ordering their execution on the spot.

I know this may sound like an extreme worst case scenario but at this point, after seeing Ironwood’s actions for the past couple of episodes, I honestly wouldn’t put it past him.

Like I said, Weiss may be putting her brother and mother in danger and it is disappointing that she hasn’t considered this potential repercussion. Or perhaps she has...which could rationalize why Weiss firmly told Whit to go to his room last episode while she and the other girls aided Nora.

Let me explain what I mean by this. I do disagree with the notion that Weiss ignored her mother's wishes to look out for Whitley.

While I was annoyed at the crude tone Weiss took to poor Whit upon returning home at first, after more thought, I came to the realization that perhaps Weiss wasn’t acting stern with Whit because she was trying to be rude or disrespectful to her little brother.

On the contrary, Weiss in that moment sounded very much like a parent to Whit.

She wasn't being the older sister who has ignored her brother in the past. I saw that moment as Weiss attempting to be like a firm yet caring parent to Whitley.

"Go to your room!" Weiss sounded like such a mom in that instance that I honestly thought it was kind of adorable. And it makes sense.

Last season, Willow explained to Weiss that Whitley is only the way he is due to being raised poorly by both her and Jacques who admittedly weren't the best parental figures and role models in the young man’s life. Unlike Weiss, who at least had Winter looking out for her, Whitley never had that kind of proper guidance from anyone.

So I took that moment from the last episode as Weiss trying to do just that. Be a guiding voice for Whit. Sure she was firm with him but I more saw it from a place of compassion rather than ignorance, y’know what I mean? It’s not the same tone as Weiss took with her brother before. I dunno. Maybe I’m the cheese that stands alone with this stance. All I can say is that from my perspective, I took the V8CH4 moment between Weiss and Whitley as Weiss trying to be maternal towards Whit.

And what's interesting to note is just how quickly Whitley listened to Weiss. While he appeared annoyed, he didn't object to going to his room either. This, in addition to him folding at allowing RWBN to stay until Nora recovered, proves Whit isn’t as rotten to the core as some folks might peg him to be.

He's not as heartless as others might expect him to be due to his upbringing.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again---Whitley Schnee is NOT a bad person. He’s just misguided which is why a relationship between him and Weiss would be important to his development. All Whit needs is proper guidance from someone who can show him to become the best person he can be and this is why Willow told Weiss to be there for him.

I found it interesting that Willow told this to Weiss as a opposed to Winter, despite both of them being at the Schnee Manor that night of the dinner. Call it coincidence or just a matter of the narrative but, it wouldn’t surprise me if Willow reached out to Winter to be there for both of her younger siblings in the past.

Or perhaps…Willow attempted to get Winter to care for her little brother as well but given the strained relationship between Winter and Whit (since Weiss outright said that Whitley doesn’t like Winter back in V4), Winter probably saw Whit as a lost cause and instead channelled all of her support into moulding Weiss which worked out.

Weiss was able to change to become a better person due to the support of those who cared for her like her older sister and the friends she made at Beacon who eventually became like family to her too.

Now what’s needed is for the same type of development to happen for Whitley hopefully.

Ultimately, I think Weiss will be the only family member that Whitley will have to turn to in the end so now would be a better time to help guide him as he is still pretty young.

I also have a hunch that Willow Schnee will probably die soon. Given what was said by Whit about her last episode, her current condition is giving me "dead mom" red flags.

My concern is that Weiss might just go to visit her mom in her room only to find her dead from an overdose of alcohol mixed with pills as a form of suicide. I'm not trying to imply that I think Willow may be suicidal at this point in the narrative, since I doubt the showrunners will go that dark but...I dunno. It's a weird vibe I'm getting that makes me think Willow won't be around for much longer, thus taking away yet another family member for Whit to turn to.

His dad is in jail, probably for life. Mom isn't look too stable health-wise and may either die or be forced to go away for some time in order to get herself the proper help she needs. Eldest sister doesn't want to have anything to do with Whit or the Schnee Family name or affairs for that matter.

The only person Whit has a chance with is Weiss. It wouldn’t surprise me if Weiss becomes Whitley’s primary caretaker and/or custodian following the Atlas Arc.

I’m not sure how old Whit is. Some folks peg him to be around Oscar’s age but I was more of the impression that Whit is between Ruby and Oscar in respect to ages. If Oscar is 14 going on 15 and Ruby just turned 17 as of V7, then my assumption is that Whit is probably 16-years old. Young but at the ripe age that he could be made heir to the Schnee Dust Company and take over from his father in terms of authority should anything happen to Jacques (as we’re already seeing done in the PLOT).

I’m not sure how parental custody works in the realm of Remnant but Weiss is old enough to become the legal guardian to her brother since she is 19.

Bottom-line what I’m mainly trying to say is that Weiss may just end up being all Whitley has in the end to turn to in terms of family---unless Klein returns to Schnee Manor out of concern and care of the young master after hearing what became of the Schnees.

I’d love to think that Klein loved the Schnee siblings as if they were his own children. So wouldn’t it be touching if, despite being wrongfully fired by Jacques, Klein returned to Schnee Manor to willingly offer his services to young Whitley because he genuinely loved and cared for him?

Wouldn’t that be a sweet way to bring Klein back into the picture especially as someone to watch over Whit in place of Weiss as she goes off to fight the forces of evil?

Also, now that I think about it again---Weiss sending Whit off to his room was actually a wise move because as we know, Schnee Manor is a large estate. In the event that the authorities show up at their doorstep and accuse the Schnees of harbouring criminals, Whit can always make the excuse that he and his mom were locked inside their respective rooms at the time and weren't aware of RWBN being on the premises, especially since there were no staff around to alert them of their intrusion.

So yeah; that’s how this squiggle meister sees it, Crystal.

Weiss wasn't disregarding her promise to her mother. I think she's actually trying in her own Weiss-way to live up to it and actually look out for Whit.

Whether or not, Whitley will continue to keep listening to Weiss or fight her on the matter, is up to him as we'll see from the show in tomorrow’s new episode. But for now, those are my thoughts on that fam. Hope this answers your question.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)

#squiggles answers: rwby #whitley schnee #weiss schnee #willow schnee #rwby theories #rwby volume 8 theories #rwby volume 8 spoilers #crystalthedark

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tired-college-student-writing · 5 years ago

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The Painter’s Daughter Ch 3

Summary: Marinette is the daughter of two bakers

Marinette is a happy sometimes naive girl

Marinette is loved to create and make more than they liked to destroy

or was she?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 (HERE)

Chapter 4

_________________________________________

Marinette grew and grew.

At age 5 her mother married the baker across the street and all of them ended up hyphenating their names to Dupain-Cheng, Tom became her Papa after her Dad reassured her it was alright on one of his visits as he brought her fabric flowers and a lovely set of paintbrushes. He was always bringing her gifts, mostly art supplies but sometimes sketches he’s made and even one of his paintings, given on Her first birthday after Helen met her. When people came over they always commented on the odd brown painting in her room, how it didn’t seem to match the rest of the decor, a sprawling landscape with a single woman resting up a tree, hair blowing in the wind Marinette just shrugged and said it was a present from her dad, one Mama hadn’t been too pleased about.

At age 7 she met her rival, Chloe Bourgeois, and ranted and raved about her to her Mama, Papa, and Dad. Her mother looked worried every time she ranted for a while before she overheard her Dad offering to turn Chloe into paint only for Mari to scrunch her nose and tell him that she didn’t want to be the reason someone died. She knew what her Dad was, knew what he did, and she still loved him but she would not allow him to work in her name.

At age 10 she had mastered sewing and began making her own clothes. It took a few times to get right, but she had a lot of practice patching things up since her Dad often had cuts and rips in his clothes and she hated to see him look anything less than his best. Whoever heard of a ragamuffin serial killer after all. Soon she was making her the majority of her own clothes from the fabrics her Dad and parents bought her, and she made them cl too. The creeps often commented on The Painter’s new outfit, an updated version of his old one and asked if they could have some too. By age 12 Marinette had endeared over two dozen creeps to her by eagerly making them more durable clothes for them to wear on hunts and willingly patching them up if they promised not to hunt in Paris outside of missions they were required to do.

At 13, Marinette was given the Ladybug Miraculous, becoming a heroine. Her Dad had laughed hysterically at this when he visited after she first transformed, feeling the ancient magic swirling through her, claiming her as much as Slender’s magic did. They had always been worried about her becoming a creep or proxy, unfeelingly ending lives like her father and here she was, with the magic to heal and bring life back. The power of creation from a being just as old as Slenderman and Zalgo.A true holder of the Ladybug earrings, born to control the magic of creation Tikki had greeted the creep with a warm smile and fierce eyes, telling him that her bug was safe, safer then she ever was before even if she was flipping over rooftops and fighting magical foes.

At 14, a new rival appears right as Chloe is starting to try harder, this one is named Lila. Helen’s blood boils as he listens to his daughter’s tales, knowing this girl would be the exact he would string up by her ankles and bleed like a pig for his next piece if only he promised years ago to leave anyone in Paris alone. He still offered though, and this time her refusals were hesitant and unsure, as the words got harsher and harsher as the lies spun became more intricate.

At 15, the class showed their true colors and the once-bustling friend group broke apart into two camps, Team Lila, with Alya, Myrlene, Sabrina, Rose, Juleka and Ivan, and Team Marinette, with Nino, Max, Nathanial, Kim, Alix, and Chloe. Adrian was strictly neutral, refusing to take either side, fearful of his father finding out about the mini-war and removing him from school. Her Dad wanted to remove him himself but Marinette told him no. The boy was sheltered beyond belief and had to be convinced that the lair’s constant unwanted touching was sexual harassment clear and simple. He meant no harm with his ill-suited advice and ideals of the high road.

Now at 16, she was faced with an even bigger issue.

Her Dad had arrived unannounced as always, never knowing when he’d freely be able to come visit without the police trailing him. They ate dinner, all four of them talking as they always did, avoiding talking about Helen’s job, instead asking about new stories of creeps’ blunders. After dinner, the married couple had shooed her and her dad upstairs so they could clean up.

“I want to kill someone,” She told her dad, slowly once the door to her room was shut, from where she sat on her chaise, sketchbook balanced on her knees as she sketched without looking at it. She couldn’t tell anyone else her thoughts, mama and papa would both panic, others would think she was insane…

"Let me do it," He offered as easily as if he was offering to drive her to her friend's house as he sat down next to her, “I’m sure they would make a lovely painting for you to hang on the wall. Just tell me who. Or if not a painting I’m sure Jeff would put them to sleep, or EJ could make a meal out of them, or-”

“You don’t get it,” She hissed, eyes hard as she stared forward with an unblinking stare, pencil dancing, “I don’t want them dead. I don’t want you or any of the others to handle the situation. I WANT to kill them, by my hand no one else’s, I can picture it.”

He stared at her for a long second, face blank, but she could see his form flickering. Her dad mentally was over 40 at this point and appeared it most of the time too, but Slenderman always kept the proxies the age they were when he created them. She rarely saw her father looking her age, the age he was frozen at forever.

It only came out when he was killing, or when he was in emotional turmoil and unable to keep hold of the magic-making him appear older.

He didn’t know what to say to her announcement, didn’t know what would come of it, what advice he should offer.

They both knew the rules. If she killed someone, truly intentionally killed someone, she was Slender’s. She had met the being back when she was 10, greeting the horror with a smile and gifted him a new tie, faded charcoal with red skulls seeming to be ingrained within the fabric, from a distance or through Slender’s fog it simply looked red but the effort… She had apologized that she only made him a tie, but wasn’t sure if she could create a suit to match his dimensions as Helen had told her about his tendency to change his height and the tentacles that would appear from his back on occasion. To say that Slender was gone for the girl was stretching it, but he was pleased with her and her attitude towards the darkness that was her dad’s world.

It didn’t mean that anyone wanted her to become part of his domain permanently.

“Tell about them,” Helen finally settled on, “Why do you want to kill them.”

“Gabriel Agreste, and Lila Rossi,” She whispered, eyes faraway. He heard their names before, the absentee, borderline abusive father of his daughter’s crush and the liar that nearly broke his ray of sunshine. Two people ripe for the picking if only Marinette hadn’t ruled Paris off-limits to all creep hunting that wasn’t mandated by Slenderman.

But she told them that they didn’t deserve to be killed.

“What changed?”

He couldn’t quite keep the snarl out of his voice, but Marinette didn’t comment instead of continuing to stare at the wall.

“Gabriel hired Lila to keep an eye on Adrian, back when she first came back. They struck up a deal where she reports back to him about what Adrian and his friends won’t and in exchange, she can model with Adrian all she wants and gain the benefits of being a Gabriel Model, along with having open access to Adrian. This was after she broke into their house and posted a picture of her kissing Adrian’s cheek without his permission. He knew what kind of person she was and still, he struck up a deal and refused to let Adrian tell him about any problems he had with Lila. He shut Adrian down every time he tried to tell him about the sexual harassment, about isolating him from the rest of the class.”

She paused pain flickering in her blank depths, “Then last week Chat Noir showed up on my balcony in tears, shaking so bad I was surprised he didn’t fall off any of the roofs on his way over. He told me he really needed a friend he could trust, someone he could be truthful with and transformed in front of me, begging me not to turn him away, not to call my parents. Adrian basically curled up on my bed at that point and wouldn’t stop sobbing. He told me how Lila had slipped him something, how he couldn’t move as she took off his clothes and…”

She paused as the mechanical pencil shattered under her grip, plastic scattering across the room, anger flashed across her face for a second before

“He begged me not to tell anyone because he didn’t think anyone would believe him. His dad wouldn’t even let him talk about the sexual harassment to him, he didn’t want to be shut down trying to explain. He’s been running around as Chat Noir for since then, only stopping here to shower and get food. Plagg is furious and wants to kill them too, but refuses to leave Adrian for even a few minutes. He’s… he’s so very broken, Dad. His eyes are more hollow than some of the proxies. I’m surprised he hasn’t been akumatized yet.”

“You won’t let me kill them?” He asked again, hands trembling as his image flicked down to 14 and refused to rise again.

“No, because I don’t just want them dead,” She laughed hollowly, “I’ve been drawing these for the last three days.”

She flipped around the sketchbook to show the two new outfits she had drawn. On the left was a bleached white leather suit, flawlessly put together with bulky buttons just as white as the suit. On the right was a leather dress, dyed deep red with a ribbed corset. He didn’t understand what was wrong with the designs until he looked closer and saw faces on the back of each outfit, the suit had a face with its eyes and ears sewn shut with venomous green thread, while the face on the dress was split in two, one half scowling with a black eye, with a horn stabbed through the temple, the other a smiling happily as a green eye. Each material was listed as she usually did, but instead of the usual fabrics, all it said over and over again was hair, skin, bone.

“A death worthy of a proxy,” He commented slowly, not sure what else to say.

Silence overtook them. Both knowing what lay ahead, but being scared of what could come up.

A knock at the balcony door made both of them jump, Helen’s glamor instinctively rising up.

“Chat,” She called, a blond head poking through the trapdoor only for him to freeze when he saw Helen.

“Easy Kitty,” Marinette whispered, “This is my Dad, remember I told you how he stops by every once in a while when his work allows it. He’s safe, I promise.”

“Safe for you guys,” He mumbled, “the rest of this city outside of this house? Not so sure anymore.”

Chat gave him a weary look but slowly moved down the steps, “What does that mean?”

Helen looked at the boy, passed the mask and the blank expression and really looked. Marinette was right, he looked broken, broken as a new proxy, one that was still scrambling to understand they had reached their breaking point, to realize what they had done now that the bloodlust and sickness had faded. He looked like Helen had back when he first killed Tom.

Well, that wouldn’t do.

“You’re going to detransform,” He told him, “Get a shower and eat. Then we’ll talk.”

He turned on his heel and marched down the steps to the kitchen where he found Sabine and Tom relaxing.

The pair jumped at his sudden appearance especially since he had shifted back to 14 as so as he closed Marinette’s door.

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked, “Business?”

Helen frowned, then sighed, “Maybe, but… it’s complicated. Chat Noir is here though and he needs food, I don’t think he’s eaten at all today.”

Sabine’s eyebrows furrow, “Is that why Marinette’s been sneaking food? She could have said something, of course, we’d feed her partner.”

Helen snorted at that as he helped the woman go through the leftovers and make up a heaping plate, along with some leftover pastries from the bakery, “I’m fairly certain that she doesn’t know you two know about her being Paris’ saving grace, plus she promised him that she wouldn’t tell anyone he was here. Something bad happened to him, in his civilian life.”

“How bad?”

“I’ve seen proxies and creeps form from less,” He admitted, “He’s in danger of snapping.”

He disappeared upstairs with the food before they could respond.

There floating in front of Marinette was a tiny cat-like being. Power pulsed off of it making the hair on the back of Helen’s neck stand on end. Plagg, the cat of destruction.

“So,” Helen started, “You’re the counter to Tikki’s power then? Almost felt like Zalgo in here.”

The cat hissed, “Don’t compare me to that bastard. He’s an ass and deserves a solid cataclysm to the face.”

Helen smirked, “Ah so this is why Slender said you were an interesting being. Either way, I’m Helen, and we need to talk.”

“If you want to break my kit-”

Helen cut him off harshly, voice like ice, “Don’t. While some of my coworkers are assholes, I would never intentionally break anyone, but Adrian is holding on by a thread and something needs to be done if you don’t want to become part of the next creep, or worse, down a user.”

His whiskers drooped as he glanced towards the closed bathroom door, “... What do you have in mind?”

Sabine and Tom didn’t check on Marinette until the next morning and were only slightly surprised to see a note signed with a smiley face, ladybug, and cat on her made bed.

The kids need to see what happens if they snap.

_________________________________________

Tag List: @marinettepotterandplagg @sassakitty

#miraculous ladybug #creepypasta #marinette dupain cheng #Helen Otis #Adrian agreste #TW Rape #mental instability #lila rossi #Lila Rossi is the worst #gabriel agreste a+ parenting #TW murder #TW gore

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schoolastica · 5 years ago

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Writer in the dark

Starker AU. Based on the song by Lorde. Also in my AO3 profile, as ilikesadstories.

Break the news, you’re walking out

To be the good man to someone else

His bags are by the Penthouse door. Tony has a lump on his throat and a Tablet in his hands showing the headlines:” Stark and Parker are officially done!!!.”

Peter has a lump in his throat and the Penthouse keys in his hands. He already said goodbye to Edith, Tony’s dalmatian, and he cleared the place of anything that belonged to him. No reason to stretch the pain more than it needs to. Tony’s back is turned on him.

He wants to scream, to command Tony to the acknowledgment that he's leaving. He does no such thing. Tony only starts to cry when he hears the elevator doors closing. That’s it; that’s three years of relationship on a ride to the lobby. Tony suppose they have been rotten for a long time, they just didn’t want to let it go, not just yet. But it happened. After three years, 2 cop-related problems, 4 major fights, 1 photo of Tony cheating.

They hanged more than most people would.

Sorry, I was never good like you.

Tony Stark wasn’t a good man. Not good like Rhodes was, or good like Steve was, not nearly as a good man as Peter Parker was. He was rotten through and through, too old, too spoiled. He was a writer, he made his fortune written the sci-fi book series called “Avengers” when he was 15 and bored. All of the characters were based on his friends at the time, friends that didn’t even keep contact with him now. But he made money, real money. Enough to start his publisher, the Stark Royal Seal, worth billions, now that he was at his 50’s.It seemed like an eon ago when he was young and excited about being famous.

That was a time, right at the beginning, that Tony loved press, every tabloid about him, good or bad, was a prize. He was 15, inexperienced and easily lead on. By his 20, he was a world-wide playboy, he never stopped being. Now, a much older man, he had written 20 novels, 15 for the Avengers series(and he's not going back to writing it, Steve deserves a rest) and 5 romances, 3 of them were a critic failure.

Now he gets to live in his big, brand new Penthouse in the middle of Manhattan, all alone; because the love of his life is going down the elevator to never come back. As he lays down, crying in the fetal position, feeling a pain he only ever felt when his parents died, he thinks he will write a novel about hurt the next morning.

Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark

Their first meeting was a thing from the movies. Tony Stark, the acclaimed writer, the same man that was in a sex-tape leaked last week at the same time to have a billion contract with Netflix to produce the film adaptations of his book series, had to make a commemorative reading of the 30th year of the release of Avengers: The year of the fallen.This event was the most waited for in his whole schedule, Pepper had been talking about it, how he should be dressed and how he should behave since January.

The reading would be more symbolic than anything, it would take place in the first bookstore Tony ever did the first reading, Schmidt & Cia Bookstore. It only fits about 300 hundred people there, so the tickets at 500$ each were sold out in 40 minutes and about 10 of them were donated to raffle to the NY Writing course students. When the day came, Tony drank so much in anxiety that Pepper almost had a fit. She arrived at the Penthouse, threw the last of his expensive scotch in the sink and practically made him look presentable. Pepper had been with him since he was 18, they had a brief romance in the ’90s but now, seeing at how they behaved, it made sense to broke up, she was more of a mother to him than anything.

So here they were, once again at the front of Schmidt & Cia Bookstore. The building was still intact, even after years, all its colors and its old sign at the front of the window. The major difference was that now, at least a thousand of hallucinated fans were surrounding it, all screaming when his car, drove by Happy, approached. When he got out, the did the usual: smiled to everyone, old or young, talked to some reports and flirted around. He only wanted to come out of the little room they had prepared for him when the time of the reading came. When that happened, he lifted himself a little podium to speak and looked around the little crown that gathered around him.

Some faces there surprised him, they were middle-aged men, by the end of the room, witch Tony knew were powerful. All of them looking eagerly for his words. The ones closer to the podium were pretty, extremely young. His gaze wandered in each of their faces, landing on the prettiest boy he ever laid eyes upon. Curly, brown hair, smooth and fair skin(probably never touched) and a Cherubin's face. His brown eyes were sparkling while he held a hold, absolutely worn down a copy of his book, close to his heart. He was probably from the NY Writing course.

It seems like a foolish thing now, how Tony took one good look at that open and fresh face and got his strength from there. But he did. He smiled at the cameras pointed at him and said: “I want to start this reading by saying that a lot has changed since the first time I did this. People came and people left, but throughout all of this, I always had this crew” he lifted the heavy book as in indicating what he was saying,” to help me”. And with that, he began the reading. The first chapter was pretty much introductory, Captain America was aboard the spaceship J.A.R.V.I.S in search of his long lost crew that was lost in their last mission. The chapter had about 4 pages of text, and while reading it, Tony couldn't stop thinking how his first draft wasn't much different than this, and how his writing style had changed since he was 15.

When the chapter was over, everyone stood to give him a minute of applause and all of the journalists present shouted questions about him, about his legacy. He tried to ignore it because now it was time for him to give his autographs.Pepper and their team set up a little table, in front of a wall full of posters from the books, where Tony would sit and sign everything that 300 people wanted him too. He had his special pen for this, alongside with a bucket full of ice for his tired hands and a sly smile and soothing words for everyone. Tony had probably given his signature to about 100 people when he received the old and worn down first edition of his book.

Surprised, he looked up to see that beautiful and shy boy fixing his glasses while looking at him, blushing. If Tony was a good man, an honorable man, he would have smiled and signed the book without a word, being polite but not curious about this youngster in front of him. But he was a nasty, nasty man. He smiled his sweet smile, the one he knew made people’s knees buckle and said:” You must be quite a nerd to spend this kind of money in a first edition, Mr……?’ he fished for a name. “Oh’ the boy seemed surprised that Tony recognized the book “This was a gift, actually,” The boy said.

Tony kept looking at him, for a more elaborate story.“My dad bought it when it first came out’ the boy’s voice was soft and open as his face was “He gave it to me one month before he died. That's why I want you to dedicate it to ‘Richard and Peter Parker” if that's not a bother’ he said, his voice disappearing through the sentence. Tony analyzed him, smiled broader, and wrote: To Richard and Peter Parker, always in each other's hearts. He got the book back to its owner and said:” What are you doing after this?”.

Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark

They meet that same night, in a new restaurant called Francesco's Dark Dinner. The whole thing was a weird concept, a place where you had to use all your senses minus the sight, and it a young, youthful place. Tony suggested an old, well-known restaurant, with fine culinary but Peter had said that it was a place with great Italian food. He arrived earlier and waited for his partner to arrive while listening to the conversation around him.

When Peter arrived, he couldn't see how he was dressed or if he had a good day, the only thing he was glad he could do was smell a sweet, strawberry scent that he basked in. Their conversation was fluid, vivid, along with truly great food (Tony was really satisfied with his dishes) and Peter was, in no short of words, a true genius. He was in the NY Writing program and he was older than what he looked like, he was 20 years old. He was an only child, like Tony, who lost his parents at a young age, like Tony, but he never drank or took anything, unlike Tony. He almost didn't get a place at today's reading, his name was the last call, and he had cried of happiness when he got it. He was extremely polite and his voice stutters every time Tony brushed their hands together.

He was a prey ready and ripe for the taking.

When they kissed, Peter tasted like youth.

Stood on my chest and kept me down

Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd

Did my best to exist just for you

They had been great, really good for each other in the first year. Tony decided to be the best version of himself, he was punctual and caring. He introduced Peter to Pepper, Rhodes, and Happy as his boyfriend and he demanded respect. They pretended to dislike the boy at the beginning, saying he was too young and naive, but Tony saw Pepper’s hidden smirks, Rhodes open laughs at Peter’s stupid space jokes and saw how protective Happy became of him.

Peter's friends were a completely different story. MJ was a force to fight with, she looked at Tony as if he had killed Santa Claus with his bare hands. Ned was a funny goofy person, saw no evil in no one. Tony took them to Conney Island and they hang around the pier till sunset. During all this time, Ned would’ve shut up and MJ said about 3 words. It didn’t matter though, because Peter had smiled so wide all the time and when they went back to Tony’s place, he rode Tony’s cock like a champion.

Sex with Peter was a whole different experience. Either if they fucked quick and dirty or slow and passionate, it always made Tony shine with joy afterward. When he was younger, Tony had the habit of smoking a cigarette after a good fuck, but that ended when he quit smoking. Now, after leaving Peter sleeping in his bed, he develops the habit of writing. He starts writing and does it through the night. At the beginning, it’s just some short stories or he just describes what he just did with Peter(in very raw, crude words) but as the months are passing, it starts to form a romance novel. It’s about two man, not quite right for each other and every time Tony needs inspiration, he looks over at Peter, peaceful sleeping, his back shining with the sweat of their past activity and he has all the words he needs.

Peter was on the edge of finishing his degree and had an internship with the Osborn publishing, Tony offered him a place at his own company, Peter said no. He wats to grow alone, working in newspapers and them to release his own novel someday. Peter really wants to write a romance, but he secretly enjoys writing children’s books, actually. It really tells a lot about his personality. They are really into each other in their first year. Peter graduates and Tony is there with beautiful aunt May and Peter’s friends to celebrate. They go on summer vacation in Tony’s village in Italy and they make love under the stars there. When New Year’s Eve arrives, their picture was featured in all the major gossip magazines and Peter goes to Tony’s annual party.

When the watch hits 0, they kiss so deeply that Tony can taste Peter’s soul. Now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart7 months after their break up, Tony is releasing his first book since having crushed his heart. ‘Resorsfullness’ its called. Its a tragedy, it was developed from that first romance novel Tony had begun to write during the first year with Peter. After they broke up, his writing became bitter and it slowly morphed into an epic love tragedy.

Pepper said it was the best works he ever did, she organized a huge US Tour and the marketing is heavy on this one. He drinks his weight and cries himself to sleep every night, but his life is still together. He still googles Peter’s name weekly and finds out that he’s releasing a second children’s book next fall. He pretends to be fine when he’s around his friends, but the only person he cant pretend to is Pepper. She sees right through all his bullshit, she invades his penthouse one day and pours his drinks in the sink and clean his kitchen. She screams at him when he wakes up and almost cries when Tony starts crying. She holds him through it all and just loves him for all he is.

I am my mother's child, I'll love you 'til my breathing stops

I'll love you 'til you call the cops on me

The first time the cops are called for them, they are dating for 19 months and they are getting tired. Tony drinks a lot, everyone knows that. Peter knows that, but he doesn’t like it. So they go to one gathering party of The Daily Budge, the newspaper Peter is working for. Tony always thought J.J. Jameson was funny, but the guy used Peter like he was a slave and pissed him off. To add up, Peters coworker, Quentin Beck, was a little shit.Peter never hid from anyone in his relationship, so Beck knew who he was seeing. Still, the guy would hit on Peter heavily and whenever he talked to Tony, he implied how old Tony was, how Peter was probably unsatisfied and that he was useless. Tony punched him, Peter screamed at Tony and they left the party in a huge arguing.

Tony gave Happy the day off so they decided to walk to and from the party, so they went the whole way to their home. At some point, they screamed so much that a passing by called the cops. It wasn’t pretty, they were on the next day’s highest searched subject on google.

The second time the cops were involved was when Tony was banging on Peter’s door at three am, begging for forgiveness, 2 weeks before they split.

But in our darkest hours, I stumbled on a secret power

I'll find a way to be without you baby

Tony’s strength cames back to him together with his words. Pepper clean his house sets him up straight and takes him to long walks in Central Park with Edith. Tony promise to stop drinking for once, he joins an AA and Rhodes and Happy take turns taking him there. Edith is the best pal he ever had, loves him and makes him do exercises every day.

The ache in his chest slowly fades, still there, but not so latent anymore. The first work he does, besides the hurt book that Pepper makes it be a success, is poems. He never wrote poems before, but the words bleed from him every sunrise and every sunset. He’s sitting in a Central Park bench, throwing a ball to Edith, that runs excited around the park, when he watches a small family picknick. He sees how the father acts with his 2 children, and watches how they sit eagerly to read ‘Polka dot dog’ by Peter Parker when the first seed of his idea is planted on the back of his mind.

He spends the next month searching about kids and by the end, he meets with Pepper to discuss having children. Tony knows she always wanted to be a mom, never found someone quite right, but when he brings that up she just laughs at him. ‘You can’t be serious, you don’t even look after yourself” she tells him. He promise he changed, that he’s ready, but it still takes her 2 months to come around the idea.They visited a Fertility clinic right after that.

They weren’t good for each other romantically, but they are the best of the friends and the doctor says they have a good chance to conceive. 16 months after they broke up, Pepper is confirmed to be pregnant, and Tony’s heart hurt is almost healed.

I still feel you, now and then

Slow like pseudo-ephedrine

When you see me, will you say I've changed?

I ride the subway, read the signs

I let the seasons change my mind

I love it here since I've stopped needing you

Peter was, without better words to put it, Tony’s first love. He had loved that boy as much as he could, as hard as he could, but it hadn’t been enough. He experienced his first true heartbreak late in life, but now he feels it all was worth it. His daughter, Morgan, was his true love, he knew that.

She was 5 years old and she was perfect. Tony hadn’t touched a bottle of alcohol for almost 6 years now, Pepper was so proud of that. Pepper was his best friend, she was his rock of moral rightness. They lived separated, but they were 5 minutes away from each other, Morgan was starting to walk between the houses all by herself. The last book Tony published was called ‘Parenthood and all the things I didn’t know how to do’ and it was his first attempt at poems, all about parenting. It was a huge success. But Morgan didn’t like his writing. She loves small, funny little children’s books and her favorite book was Mrs.Penguin by Peter Parker. His heart stopped every time she asked him that book as a goodnight story.

On his Sunday with her, Pepper looked apologetic to him and said she had promised to take her to a reading of the newest book Peter was going to publish but she had a party to go. He feels bile rising in his throat but he smiles and takes Morgan to see her first favorite author. The bookstore the reading is happening is small but childlike and Morgan looks amazed.

The book is named ‘The sunflower and the frog’ and when Peter shows up to do the reading, he looks straight at Tony and smiles. Morgan is not exactly a secret, Tony and Pepper are constantly at the news, and when its time for autographs, Tony had to wait in line for 50 minutes till Morgan got her chance. Peter looks dashing, 29 years old and beaming with health and fashion. He now looks more like a man than he did before, so pretty that Tony aches. Peter gives Morgan a big smile and asks if she likes his books. The girl is absolutely besotted by the young author, opening up like a little flower and Tony can’t help thinking that Starks always falls for Parkers. Peter gives her full attention and only looks at Tony when he’s signing the book.

He says, looking at Tony’s eyes: “I’m writing: To my dear Morgan, the happiest girl I’ve known’ and when he delivers the book back to Morgan he looks at Tony and says: What are you doing after this?

#starker #breakup #angst #hurt #songfic #starkerau

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hope-for-olicity · 6 years ago

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Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - September 7th, 2018

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them.

And So The Adventure Begins multi-chapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics - Felicity spent her first year of college focused solely on her studies. In year two, with the convincing of her best friends Iris and Sara, she lets her hair down a bit. Oliver spent his first year partying with his wingman Tommy and living up to the status that came with his last name. He realizes he should buckle down focus on the most important part: actual school. Oliver and Felicity meet, and even though they are on different ends of the spectrum, they don't realize that they can each bring out hidden parts of one another. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15800025/chapters/36771018

Pieces of Always multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows. Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8220479/chapters/18840356

10 Rules of Rebounding multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - Oliver and Felicity start a sex relationship as rebounds for each other. What’s supposed to be just fun, soon gets complicated when it turns out that their work lives collide, Robert Queen fears their sexual relationship could threaten his company and an ex comes back into the play. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15403404/chapters/35749620

Let's Make a Plan by who_seeks_shall_find - Felicity had a stalker when Oliver was in prison. The crazy person sent awful messages and made weird phone calls. After another letter Felicity and John were talking about how to caught the person. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15817560

Deep Water multi-chapter WIP by @it-was-a-red-heeler - A Season 7 Speculation fic. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15081917/chapters/34968092

Lonely With You multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - Felicity meets Oliver at a frat party in college and interrupts him from making a big mistake. Oliver is intrigued by the dark haired, beautiful genius with a tough exterior. Felicity is charmed by the broody jock that everyone seems to be a little bit afraid of. Feelings, angst, fluff, and all that goooooood stuff. College AU because it's the week to celebrate this trope on tumblr with our Trope-tastic Awards ;) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15706710/chapters/36505428

P.S. Hong Kong: Was it Real?!? multi-chapter WIP by @cruzrogue for Olicity trope-tastic award: Fake Marriage - This is off season 3 Flashbacks. When Tommy goes to Hong Kong he doesn’t go alone he takes his friend Felicity as the best information system being to help him locate Oliver Queen. Tommy may leave empty handed but Felicity gets to be a bride… https://archiveofourown.org/works/15025697/chapters/34832747

Soulmates multi-chapter WIP by @bri206 - What happens when Oliver and Felicity wake up in the past with no idea how they got there? They will have to relive their past lives and maybe find an ally or two to get back to their present. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15466416/chapters/35903511

Plan B by who_seeks_shall_find - Felicity's stalker is caught although Oliver doesn't like the way everything plays out. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828210

Home To You multi-chapter WIP by @the-shy-and-anxious-fangirl - Oliver Queen has never done what his family expected of him. He took a gap year after high school instead of going to college right away. He quit his fraternity sophomore year to join the student newspaper, switching his major from business to journalism. He became a photojournalist for a wire service instead of taking a place at Queen Consolidated. He went missing after six months instead of coming home for his sister’s twenty-first birthday. He survived five years of captivity in a war zone when everyone thought he was dead. He came home. But home didn’t have a place for him in it anymore. His parents were both dead, casualties of their own mistakes and a city they had turned against them. His sister was all grown up, the CEO of Queen Consolidated with a fiancé and a dog and a life of her own. Oliver didn’t belong in his old life, but there was nowhere else for him to go. He was a man without a home, without any way of finding one, until he stopped by the IT department of his sister’s company to get files off an old, battered memory card, and found a woman with curly blonde hair and bright, intelligent eyes chewing on a bright red pen and swearing at a computer screen. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613188/chapters/28734552

Queen vs Queen multi-chapter WIP by @muslimsmoak - Felicity Mignonette Renaldi Smoak has been handling being a princess pretty well so far. After all, she did only find out at the ripe young age of 15. Now, she is 21 and ready to take the throne of Genovia after being under the tutelage of her aunt. But there’s only one thing in her way, wait, actually two. Two things in her way: Oliver Queen, the hot young bachelor she danced with the night of her homecoming ball, who neglected to mention that he’s after her crown alongside his uncle Malcolm Merlyn, and the fact that she has to marry within 30 days if she wants to be Queen. Ray Palmer, Duke of Keystone is sweet, sensitive, intelligent and kind and seems like the perfect choice. But marrying and falling in love are two different things. A Princess Diaries AU https://archiveofourown.org/works/15808065/chapters/36794172

She's Not Here by who_seeks_shall_find - Felicity hated to see William crying. He's scared of forgetting his biological mom. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15837069

I'm Worried by who_seeks_shall_find - Felicity and Oliver have a lot to talk about. It's time for a late-night conversation. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626976

Wasted Time Part 2 by @lostolicityscenes - Very sexy Olicity times! https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/177546910441/wasted-time-part-2

I See the Light by @smkkbert - After being grounded for dyeing her hair pink, Felicity cannot to go the fair and see the fireworks at the annual fair in Starling City. For Sara Diggle it’s a clear case! Magic hair that got her locked up and doesn’t allow her to see the lights? - That’s the story of Rapunzel, and someone has to free her from the witch’s tower. http://smkkbert.tumblr.com/post/177561036750/i-see-the-light

Finding Felicity multi-chapter WIP by @lynn8828 - After Lian Yu blew, Oliver searches for his friends and loved ones on the island. This is an AU versions of what happened when Oliver found everyone after the explosions. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15538641/chapters/36071301

The Queen's Mage multi-chapter WIP by @the-shy-and-anxious-fangirl - Words have power, and mages, those with the aptitude to draw on that power, are few in number. Thus, their services are highly sought after by anyone who has exhausted all mundane means of solving whatever problem is plaguing them. Felicity is reminded of this fact the hard way when she is hired by Moira Queen, the Lady Starling, to find and return to her son Oliver, who fled his family home five years ago following the death of his father. With a threat hanging over her should she return without Robert Queen's heir, Felicity begins her search. When she finds Oliver, and ends up joining his vigilante crusade while she waits for him to decide whether to return home, the last thing she expects to do is fall in love with him. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617068/chapters/33781269

Too Much or Not Enough by @allimariexf - He waited for her to acknowledge him. When she looked up, though, his stomach dropped at her cool expression. “Hey.” She looked away after having met his eyes for a bare moment. Oliver blinked at her in confusion, watching her face for signs, but she continued her research as if he weren’t sitting there. He huffed out an uncomfortable laugh. “Felicity….”She wrenched her eyes away from her monitor and met his gaze with calm equilibrium. “Is there something I can help you with, Mr. Queen?” https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859746

Elizabeth Grace Smoak multi-chapter WIP by @lynn8828 - What if Felicity and Oliver briefly had met before he got on the Gambit? Despite her best efforts, Felicity was unable to get in contact with the famous Oliver Queen after having a one night stand with him and getting pregnant with his child. After raising their child for five years after finding out that Oliver died on the Gambit, she finds out he is alive and knows that she needs to tell him about their daughter. But will he believe her? AMAZING STORY!! http://archiveofourown.org/works/13639371/chapters/31322715

Life's All About Changes multi-chapter WIP by Crazyreader2468 - After agreeing to plead guilty to being the Green Arrow in order to get FBI assistance in capturing Diaz, Oliver finds himself in a supermax, a maximum security federal prison, serving a life sentence. As he struggles to become accustomed to life in prison, his family, friends, and teammates struggle to live without him, as well as continually attempting to find a way to get him pardoned. Will they succeed in obtaining a pardon and will Oliver survive until they do? Mostly AU from right before the ending of episode 6 x 22 and after most of 6 x 23. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936172

I Want You To Be Happy by who_seeks_shall_find - William asks his dad if he wants to give his mantle to his son. Oliver doesn't know what to answer. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15871896

The Paths We Take multi-chapter WIP by griever11 - Rival CEOs AU. Felicity Smoak, CEO and founder of her own company, is trying to prove herself in the cutthroat world of the technology industry among the other bigwigs in the game. Oliver Queen, recently back from the dead is trying to prove to the world that he's no longer the same man-child who went down on the Queen's Gambit and is finally worthy of his family's legacy. Both equally formidable names in the corporate world. And both with a long, complicated history with each other that no one but themselves are privy to. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15314133/chapters/35530296

The Two of You Are My Life by who_seeks_shall_find - Felicity has been in Vegas to visit her mother. She is excited to come back to her boys. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15873093

A Series of Dates multi-chapter WIP by @alexiablackbriar13 - Oliver Queen is in love with Felicity Smoak. Felicity Smoak is in love with Oliver Queen. It takes four dates, and the help of Oliver's loyal service dog, Hunter, for them to realise that they're forever destined to be something more than just friends. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13130304/chapters/30036912

Hi, Dad by who_seeks_shall_find - Felicity makes a phone call to her dad. She needs someone to talk to and she thinks her dad is going to understand. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15875026

And I Wonder (If You Wonder About Me Too) multi-chapter complete by @charlie-leau - When Felicity was eight years old, her father tucked her to bed. He read her a bedtime story and bid her goodnight. When she woke up the next day, he was gone. She never heard from him again. Heartbroken, Felicity decided not to let anyone in, ever again. She just couldn’t bring herself to trust anyone. That was until she met Ray Palmer. She fell for him, he fell for her but she still expected him to leave her. He didn’t. They got married and they were happy for a while. But deep down, she still expected him to leave her. Little did she know that she’d be the one leaving him in the end. https://archiveofourown.org/works/5899057/chapters/13599040

Arrow: Mastering a Legacy multi-chapter WIP - An alternative season six featuring romance, family, OTA, the expanded team, the expected Star City chaos, and a few new villains. Chapter 1: Eye of the Hurricane by @bowssmoakandarrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/14695197/chapters/37018383#workskin

It's Not True by who_seeks_shall_find - Oliver knows something is bothering William. Felicity encourages Oliver to talk to his son. Finally, William brings up something that he hasn't told his parents yet. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626916

Whiskey and Romance multi-chapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics - Felicity Smoak gets the opportunity of a lifetime to compete for the hand of Prince Tommy Merlyn. She is taken from her normal mundane Vegas life and is soon swept up into a lifestyle full of nobles, drama, obligations and chaos. All the while trying to stay afloat, someone else begins to win her heart, Tommy’s best friend, Oliver Queen. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14441952/chapters/33357156

They Shouldn't Have Been There by who_seeks_shall_find - When Oliver came back from prison, the press started harassing his family even more eagerly than before. Oliver is ready to take actions when paparazzi harass William at school. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15897414

My Thoughts on You multi-chapter WIP by rachelrenalove -Felicity Smoak is sure of 3 things: 1. She's a badass and she is damn good at what she does. 2. She hates the man in the green hood. 3. Oliver Queen is a pain in her ass and she cannot wait until the day she can quit her job at Queen Consolidated. Or Felicity Smoak goes undercover at Queen Consolidated and meets Oliver Queen. She quickly realizes that she doesn't like him and wishes she was never chosen for this mission. Outside of QC, she is dealing with her hatred towards the man in the green hood that has found out exactly which buttons of hers to press in order to piss her off. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15089954/chapters/34989344

If I Tremble multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - A collection of prompts and ficlets, with all the smut! Olicity sexy times are the best times. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409122/chapters/35762643

I'll Be Your Daydream multi-chapter WIP by @beinmyheart - Snapshots of moments and conversations between Felicity and Oliver in Hide Away 'Verse https://archiveofourown.org/works/15882867/chapters/37008999

Oliver the (Divorce) Lawyer multi-chapter WIP @someonesaidcake - Black tie, white shirt, grey suit... when Oliver put them on that chilly December morning, he hadn't planned on meeting her. 'Her' being Felicity Smoak, the sassy dark haired college student and daughter of his (only) client. This should be fun... https://archiveofourown.org/works/14823708/chapters/34304472

Killer Frost Smoak multi-chapter Complete by @tdgal1 - Felicity is with Barry during the particle accelerator and becomes Killer Frost. How does she handle this and does she tell Oliver? http://archiveofourown.org/works/8654356/chapters/19846777

Time for a Story multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. YOU NEED THIS STORY IN YOUR LIFE. http://archiveofourown.org/works/3912157/chapters/8757172

A Parenting Manual by who_seeks_shall_find - Sometimes bribery and making your son feel guilty are needed to keep him at home. Oliver and Felicity want to spend time with their son although William has other plans. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15907647

In Starling Green multi-chapter WIP by @writewithurheart - Robin Hood AU. Lord Oliver Queen has spent the last ten years in self-imposed exile, fighting in the Holy Wars. Finally at peace with himself, he returns home with his squire, Roy Harper, at his side, but the home he remembers is not the one he finds. Oliver must find a way to reorient himself within Nottingham and Starling before he gets himself into trouble, the kind of trouble that takes the shape of some starving villagers and a beautiful blonde with a big heart. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11132355/chapters/24843060

Arrow: Mastering a Legacy multi-chapter WIP - An alternative season six featuring romance, family, OTA, the expanded team, the expected Star City chaos, and a few new villains. Chapter 2: Take Me Out to the Ball Game by @olicitysmoaky https://archiveofourown.org/works/14695197/chapters/37018383#workskin

The Donor multi-chapter WIP by @spaztronautwriter - Felicity Smoak has always dreamed of being a mother and she isn't going to let a little thing like men stop her from making that dream come true. Having a baby by herself might just be biting off a little more than she can chew, but one way or the other it's about to change her whole life. LOVE THIS SO MUCH! http://archiveofourown.org/works/11099361

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 //

#FabulousOlicityFanficFriday #olicity fanfiction #fic recs

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writemonkeywrite · 4 years ago

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Content Warning: Depression, Trauma.

Recently i was hit with a sudden wave of sadness that i had a lot of trouble figuring out. I could not really find the source until i found the root of what was upsetting me. back in middle school my parents got really interested in buying, renovating, then renting/selling houses. This was completely fine except for the fact that the people working to fix these houses was my dad, occasionally my mom, and 11 year old me. The language barrier between my dad and i was apparent, however we were still able to talk and hold enough of a conversation to get us through the day. At that point, i never really knew how aggressive and toxic our relationship would become, i was just happy to help. Things started to take a turn for the worse as with every passing day, my dad would expect more and more from me. With a higher expectation and the fact that my dad is shit at explaining things, things went south very fast. Helping went from fun to terrifying, with failure to do things such as “move 100 lb of rocks from the front yard to the back. Fail to put it exactly where i want it or fail to do it within an hour and you’re getting treated like absolute dogshit. This type of treatment kept on for years and eventually got to the point where I would refuse to talk to my dad, as not only would my day be constantly full of working with zero breaks for lunch, i was also treated as lazy and worthless for not completing/failing any tasks. All of this added up to one hot summer day. We were working on a house, i was around 14 at the time. I was moving large rocks from one part of the house to another while in the background all i heard were people having fun and playing in the local pool nearby. Although i would often beg to go or have an off day where i could have fun with the admittedly small friend group i had. these off days were something that i never saw come. As the years went on i managed to develop a moderate anxiety disorder, with suspicions of depression apparent, but not diagnosed (so we will not mention it until it is confirmed.) Due to poor treatment, constant abuse and neglect, and not gonna lie probably some asbestos too (we never wore protective equipment.) When first starting high school, i also enrolled in dual credit college courses in order to receive my associates as well as my diploma in 2020. However, with the poor treatment and amount of work often given to me not only in school but at home, i secretly dropped my courses without telling my parents, as they refused to let me leave saying “you have enough time in the day” as they always did. At this point i would often have crazy and sudden waves of sadness and anxiety when i would least expect it, something that even to this day i deal with. as i have gotten older i became more assertive. Although becoming more assertive with my parents was a step in the right direction, the reason as to why was much more depressing than what others might think. During this new phase of becoming more assertive, i was at some of my lowest lows yet. I did not care if i was kicked out of the house, or banned from using technology forever because at that point in time i had to real will to live. I would often search online to connect with people feeling the same way. I knew that if i did not do anything nothing would change. at the ripe age of 15 i was ready to force my way into a new life whether that resulted in me ending my life or seeing progress towards those i lived with. I remember talking to my mom more and more about how i felt and how i believed i was being treated poorly. which would often prompt my dad to start many of his insults with “and go tell your mom if you want i don't care” or “and don't go telling your mom this shit you fucking pussy.” Fast forward five more years and nothing has really changed. After i turned 18 my parents obsessed over wanting me to stay home instead of moving into an apartment. After almost a decade of using me they did not want to let me go. I used this leverage in order to stop them from using me as free labor. Which unfortunately meant my younger brother was now in my former footsteps. I never really thought of it back then but its something that genuinely pains me nowadays. Seeing the happiness in his life drain away and becoming similar to I am. Unfortunately my parents aren't the best teachers either. My younger brothers life is now only encompassed in video games, as he often has no other outlet to enjoy himself. and although its not the same for my younger sister yet; she's already feeling the effects of this as well. This part really does have me crying. I have two younger sisters. The older of the two is set to turn 13 this year, and i can tell she still has that glimmer of excitement for life. The same glimmer my brother and i once had. Anytime i go to work even if i had a fight with her the night before she always tells me “goodmorning” in a cheerful voice or would always like to strike up a conversation with me because i am one of the few people she actually talks to often. She has a spirit like no other, its something i envy in her actually. Despite her issues with tempter, she is an amazing person. However, i have noticed when i am not around or talking with people, she is often left alone or ignored. I often see her sitting on the couch on her school laptop or on her smartphone on youtube. She loves playing a new game i recently bought her, just dance 2021. Here is where my issue really does arise. After all those years i still have trouble being able to even talk to others, or go out and do things. My sister often BEGS me to play with her but i don't know what in me refuses or makes me not want to play with her but its something that has seriously made me start feeling like absolute shit. I often hear her playing alone. One time i heard her crying to my mom asking why neither i nor my brother like playing with her. I do not blame her though, its something that even I regret. I don’t want my sister to end up like me. I don’t want my sister to end up like my younger brother. Even today, a few weeks from turning 19, I am afraid. I am angry. I am sad. I am scared. I really do not have another outlet to talk to except this empty page. It’s like screaming into a void really. Life truly is fun when the closest lgbt friendly therapist is over a hundred miles away, and much of your bad memories stem from the religious attributes of your area. Even as i'm writing this i really wish i could just stop. I can’t really say it more obvious than the following sentence. If it wasn't for my siblings, my mom, and my friends, i would probably be six feet in the grave, or in a ditch lol. Although this made me feel like even more shit, i am glad i wrote. I hope the future is as bright as the rising sun, because that’s all i want. I just want to be happy again.

Love you all,

pasdecerveau

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bellabooks · 7 years ago

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National Coming Out Day: Happy coming out stories to warm your heart

Today is National Coming Out Day, where we celebrate the courage it takes to truly be oneself. Many of us have had difficult coming out experiences, but there is also a lot of joy to be had out there when you are embraced lovingly by friends and family. Here are some coming out stories that will give you hope, and put a smile on your face. “My name is Ariel and I am fairly fresh out of the closet. My journey began about two and a half years ago when I saw Sara Lance kiss Nyssa al-Ghul on Arrow. Before that point, I had been exceptionally good at convincing myself that I was straight, because in my mind, that was the safest bet. I know now that that had everything to do with the heavy dose of compulsory heterosexuality that I had been given when was growing up. My gym teacher in elementary school was a lesbian and by the way that my classmates talked about her, I got it in my head that I didn’t want to be like her because I didn’t want to be made fun of like that. Seeing this saddened me because I had been taught by my mom at an early age that love is love and it shouldn’t matter who you fall in love with. In school, I had to argue against gay marriage and it took everything in my not to burst into tears during the debate because everything that came out of my mouth was a lie. I got uncomfortable when my softball teammates would talk about how they couldn’t believe that people were gay and how wrong they thought it was. As a result, I stayed firmly in the closet for a very long time. I couldn’t bring myself to open up to a world that believed that I was wrong and gross. Every time I would make a move to step towards coming out, I would see or hear something that would send me right back in. Lexa dying destroyed me and all but made me lock the door from the inside. It took some time but slowly, I immersed myself in positive media, mostly bi and lesbian Youtubers, and I worked my way up to coming out to my mom, who long ago told me that she would love me no matter who I ended up loving (she definitely saw it coming before I did). I then told the rest of my family and a few peers of mine. At this point, I am comfortable with who I am, but I only tell people when they ask because I still can’t get past the hate that I saw early on.” – @RoseWilliams157 “I mustered up the courage to tell my mother that I was a lesbian over the Holidays when I was in college. I sat her down and told her expecting the crying and hugging that you see on all of the coming out stories on TV. Instead she said, “Oh I gotta tell Trish! She’s been saying you were a lesbian for years!” Trish is my mom’s best friend and apparently has impeccable gaydar.” – @ellieb2792 “The first family members I came out to were my three brothers. I knew that if I had them in my corner, I’d have the strength I needed to come out to my parents. (Which went surprisingly well.) All three brothers had different, but great reactions. The youngest one said, ‘Figures. You own a lot of flannel and listen to Melissa Etheridge, so, that’s cool.’ Second oldest was surprised, just because he never thought about my love life. He told me, ‘Anyone you want to bring over is welcome in our home.’ The oldest had thought about my love life, apparently, and said, ‘Yeah, I already guessed that, and I’m totally good with it. Thanks for telling me.’ No fuss. They basically just shrugged, told me we’re good, which was exactly how my brothers are, and how I needed them to be.” – @jerzeyredhead “I can’t really remember when I came out. On the one hand that makes sense, because coming out is something you do in stages, and you do it over and over again. I know I came out to my immediate family four separate times, but I only had to come out to my two best friends once. I believe I was twenty-three years old when I told them, which would have made the year 2009. Bestie M and I were walking around the local Borders Bookstore, one of our favorite ways to kill time. We liked to walk through the aisles and push the books back against the shelf so you could see the different size and shape of each spine. (Bestie M now works for the Library and she has since told me what an annoying thing that was for us to do to the employees, so I apologize.) She could sense that something was wrong. I wasn’t making eye contact, and anything she said to me was met with a monosyllabic response. When we got back to the car I told her that there was something I needed to say. What I remember most about that moment was the fear. I was so intensely afraid I would lose my best friend that even now, all these years later, my heart races just thinking about it. I told her I was gay and she said ‘Okay’. I know she told me she loved me, but I think I stopped forming memories the second I heard those four little words. She asked if she could hug me and I said ‘Okay.’ Bestie J and I were hanging out at the movie theater. We had a few people with us, killing time at the bar before or after the show. She and I were walking back from the bathroom. Despite my very positive experience with Bestie M, I was still terrified. I told her I was gay and she said something like “Gay? Not bisexual? Oh. Alright!”. But it was the fear in my eyes, not my admission that broke her stride. She grabbed my arm and looked me in the face. ‘Lara, you know this doesn’t change anything between us, right?” I didn’t know that, but I know it now. I knew it from that moment on.’ – Bella debut author, Lara Hayes “So I think first and foremost it should be said that I am a Baptist minister’s daughter with a very religious family from SC. However, we were never taught to hate anyone no matter their skin color, religion or sexuality. But when I accepted that I was a lesbian at the ripe old age of 17, I started to think that it was okay for everyone else to be gay, but not me. Fast forward a year to Sept. 15, 2006. I’ve graduated from high school earlier in the year and I’m dating my first girlfriend. My girlfriend and I had a wonderful evening together and sleep over. The next morning when we woke up around 2, I had a ton of missed texts and calls from my father. I had told him I was staying at my friend Jessie’s house because I assumed he did not know where she lived. Apparently he did. I also thought, ‘If I tell them I’m staying at Heather’s, they’ll know I’m gay.’ So I called my dad and continued to lie about where I was saying that Jessie and I had gone to brunch. He said, ‘Stop lying to me. You’re at Heather’s aren’t you?’ I immediately said yes and he told me to come home so we could talk about it. Heather was amazing about the whole thing and said, ‘If you get kicked out, you can come to me and if I don’t hear from you for a while, I’ll understand and will be waiting.’ I drove home and thus began hours of conversation about my sexuality. Am I gay, am I bi, it is a phase? Yada yada. My mom ignored me for a good portion of the day. My dad turned to me and said, ‘I’m not mad that you’re gay. I’m mad that you lied to me (about where I was).’ After my mother took a nap, she said she was going to go for a drive and my dad followed her. They ended up talking for hours outside. Now you might wondering why I remember the date so well. Well, the day I came out was also my mom’s birthday. Happy Birthday! I’m a huge homo! So I went to my car to get my mother’s birthday present and even though I’m sure it didn’t happen exactly this way, I just remember coming back in and my mom had done a 180. She was happy and excited and everything was back to normal. It has taken my mom a long time to come to terms with it and be happy for me. For a long time she said, “I’m just praying to G-d for guidance.” And even though a lot of people would roll their eyes at her for saying that, I knew that was how my mom was wrapping her head around it and accepting me. 10 years later, my mom and dad have both accepted me and my mother is a HUGE ally for the LGBTQIA community and I no longer feel awkward or weird to tell my parents I’m going on a date. Now I just gotta tell my sister…” – @kaitlynkrieg “Within six months of my falling in love with a woman for the first time, I had come out to my close friends and my sister. But it took me almost four years to come out to my parents. I initially decided I wouldn’t tell them until the topic became relevant, i.e. I was dating a woman and needed to explain. But my singleness lasted longer than my ability to keep that part of me secret. On New Years Eve of 2016, my parents and I were having dinner at an Italian restaurant. As I was staring at my plate, not registering how the food was tasting, I struggled to find the preamble I had rehearsed in my head. Finally, I brought up the woman I had fallen in love with years ago and that was my segue into blurting out that I date both men and women. I started bawling, not even caring that other customers or the wait staff may have been looking at me. My mom held my hand and told me she loved me. My dad kissed my cheek, rubbed my back, and told me everything was okay. They asked me if I had been wanting to tell them for a while and I said yes. They said that I didn’t have to tell them because they already knew. I corrected them by saying it was important for me to be able to finally tell them. I wiped my tear soaked face, we finished dinner, and then we welcomed 2017 with champagne.” – @nicclee “My first coming out occurred when I was 14. I was in a domestic science class when a classmate suddenly asked me about sexual orientations. I explained the differences and there was nothing more to it. Later that week when I was in church during a lunch break (the church was next door to the school and had “open doors” during our lunch breaks) another classmate, out of nowhere, asked me about my sexual orientation. I, who always felt welcomed in the church, answered and the youth leader, who overheard this, and embraced me with such warmth it made me feel so secure. So the church became my safe place and I have never ever met anything negative about me being not straight in church.” – @Lutter_Lappri “Alright, so I had been showing signs for most of my life but you know, I’m like 8. I don’t know why I admire Miley Cyrus so much. My brother also had a friend who was a girl and she was so pretty, and so nice and amazing. Totally a crush on her (I literally called her everyday, it was ridiculous). But crushes all around and mostly on girls. So right around the age of 12, like when the gay starts getting stronger and more relevant, I go on Facebook. I am just browsing and I get a message and its from one of my close friends at the time. She states that she has to tell me something important, and then tells me that she’s bisexual. I was confused as hell on what that could mean and then she tells me. My kind is blown. Literally. I am being honest with you. I didn’t know it was possible to like both girls and guys AT THE SAME TIME WOW. Anyways, I was like “wow this explains so much to me” so I go on knowing I’m bisexual, and experiment like everyone else does. My brother knew I liked girls, when I told him and he just didn’t really care. My mom however had to warm up to the thought but now she makes closet jokes whenever possible. I don’t think my dad knows but that’s because we aren’t very close but I feel like he would be fine with it.” – @silkythunder “Growing up in a conservative, religious family in a very rural area meant my parents had rigorous views of the world. Coming out was one of my biggest fears. While I knew from the time I was 12 that I liked women the way I was “supposed” to like men, I worked to keep my secret from everyone. I dated my first girlfriend for four years—all while hiding carefully in the closet. Over the years, I gradually told a few select people. By the time I hit my late twenties, all of my friends knew, and I knew it was time to talk to my parents. We had always been close and I knew how they viewed homosexuality, so I felt like I had a lot to lose. I visited my parents one October, right before my 27th birthday. I waited for an opportunity, continually finding excuses to stay silent. I knew I couldn’t tell my entire family at once. I didn’t feel strong enough to watch several people I love turn their backs on me in unison. I was terrified, but also very much in love and determined. One evening during my visit, I was finally alone with my mother. I knew it was time. I opened my mouth to speak, but words failed me. She pried, asking what was wrong. I shut my mouth and shook my head. After another round of questions, I blurted out that I had to tell her something. She sat down facing me and told me she had a hunch about what I might want to say. Calmly, she explained that she knew I was a lesbian and knew I was dating my ‘best friend.’ She then told me that it didn’t change anything and she poured us both a margarita. I cried, and she hugged me. Life went forward as normal that night, with her telling me she would tell my father and things would be okay. The celebration was short-lived, as my gayness became reality—instead of an assumption they had held for years. My mother’s acceptance, I later found out, was more shock than truth. Over the course of the next several months, there were difficulties, a lot of intense discussions, more than a few times when my calls went unanswered, some hurtful words, and even a period of time when we did not speak. My mother had always been my best friend, so the distance stung. One day, she called out of the blue to tell me she missed me. We talked with the closeness we had before I came out. Over time, we talked about the “difficult time” we had endured in that emotional distance, and we never returned to the ugly place of silence and judgment that had marked the previous months. After she took some time to sort out her feelings, the entire family came around and eventually asked to meet the love of my life. They love me unconditionally, and they welcome her into their home (and our family) with open arms. While they still say they don’t understand, they have made leaps and bounds in their willingness to let go of their narrow ideas of the world. My family is still making progress, and I know they are working on it. It was rocky, but it definitely has turned out to be a happy ending. Coming out and knowing that my family loves me—with full knowledge of who I am—was the best decision I ever made (well, aside from asking my lovely fiancée to marry me).” – Bella author Riley Scott “My coming out story starts with a note-to-self: don’t make jokes when you tell your mother you’re A: probably gay and B: definitely dating a woman. To sum it up: I made so many “let’s face it, it could have been way worse”-jokes when I came out to my mother at 28 that she was actually relieved when it turned out I was “just” dating a woman. She cried for about 3 mins and asked me not to tell my father. She lasted 12 hours before telling him herself. He called me and asked: “Is she hot?” I said yes. He answered “good” and then wondered if I had seen the last ep of his favourite English whodunnit. My father is a taciturn man. They’ve had a great journey. My now 75-year-old mother and father used to be openly and loudly homophobic. These days, they would happily walk in the “proud parents”-section at Pride. My father cried when my girlfriend dumped me. They’ve never been ashamed or hid that I was with a woman. Then again: we’re Swedish and Sweden isn’t a homophobic country anymore. Being a homophobe is considered very bad form. So the punchline probably is: people can change. Even nations can change. I think that’s a pretty happy coming out-story. – @ClillaryHinton1 “My story is actually kinda funny because when I was in 8th grade I started using Tumblr and my mom found out and asked to see my page which was very gay at the time but at the end of the night my mom, dad and I were all happy and they are still very supportive.” – @erin_tierney2 Photos via Pixabay http://dlvr.it/PtsLRf

#News #coming out #National Coming out Day

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lalunangel · 5 years ago

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I guess there’s this song.. and one more by him that I heard and I was hooked... back then my ideas on love were negative. I knew what my mom and dad did and I thought love was dead. The first boy I had ever been in love with cheated on me with a thuggish girl.. told me I was too soft.. said I wasn’t worth the year and 9 months he spent with me. In a weird way I wanna day it broke me but I didn’t have a song to put it to.. other than “I’ve given up on you by Real friends.” It was the only way I could identify it being over. I’m sure I cried over him. I’m almost positive I still had hope I was capable of loving rightly. Every guy after him though was just a game.. and they always cheated on me and I’d move on like it didn’t happen. My first abusive relationship happened when I was 12.. he would hit me and I accepted it but I knew I didn’t love him. I dated Angel C.. and he’s the one who made flowers bloom in my head and heart... then when we were freshman he did what he did and I think it was the first time I was actually sad I lost someone romantically. I moved on and played games with other boys. Andrew V.. used to hit me and emotionally abuse me and manipulate me into feeling like I absolutely needed to isolate myself. He shows me Chance the Rapper but I never correlated the music with him. I didn’t love him I just loved the freedom I felt with him... and the fear probably excited me back then because I hadn’t experienced anything. I was 15... going on 16. I dated De... and that was just a poor excuse but this was during the summer where I got to experience freedom for real.. my mom gave me up. Dropped me... and I got to skate all day and night and I spent days with him. I knew I wasn’t in love but I know that when I think about him “Let it go by James Bay” plays in my head.. he’s the silent breeze that creases your face. Makes you wanna chance the sun or stars.. he makes living feel like the spiritual feeling exists. But he’s not a good lover. He’s a friend and that’s it.. until he can find another emotonally depending human just like himself.. a level of clingy I can’t reach.. but never in his life would he hit me. The next big I dated was my current boyfriend Guillermo.. it didn’t last because we were together the whole school year but after May ended I realized he wasn’t going to text me back so we just fell off. Never actually said it was over but both knew we were done. I dated Tyler.. Tyler was scary and worse than any other boy I had dated.. on purpose made me feel small and spat me out and chewed me up.. hurt me.. actually.. when I think about him I feel cold.. like although we playing during that summer.. I was stuck in winter with him.. “Bloom by The Paper Kites” was probably the only song I felt but not because I felt love... I felt like love was far away and distant from me.. and that it was leaving me in a nasty haze of craze.. I wanted to be something to him but the more I tried the less interested I became.. he said that I should’ve killed myself a lot. Wouldn’t let me text anyone. Always on the phone even when I was at school when it finally came back around.. I shook under the pressure of him.. I was walking on eggshells but I didn’t do much else.. I called it off one day and blocked him. I got texts from our mutual friends saying how I owe him. I owe no man a damn thing especially when I’ve given my fucking all. I was the beautiful ripe age of 16 when I made that choice. I won’t put his name in this for personal reasons but my ex.. I dated him before I got back with Guillermo.. but we broke up because he cheated on me with her. And I didn’t have the energy. So “I don’t love you anymore by Real Friends” was his song. I would play it every time he sat next to me or made excuses to try and touch me. Someone told her he cheated on her with me and i was livid because it was the opposite but I just decided whatever they chose to say is what will be. He told her sorry as if he actually did it that way but never apologized to me. But I kept it bottled. I dated Guillermo again once I was 17

There’s still no song to match the love or the break up. It was mutual yet again an understanding but I know I would cry to the sad songs on the radio and on my phone but none of them were actually reserved for him. So.. I dated Dominic. I know I dated way too much for someone so young but I was still trying to test waters and see if my affection was real.. or if I was just like my mom. “Flower (Acoustic) By Vanna.” Was his song.. I had fallen in love with him quickly.. I hadn’t even noticed at first. But once I heard this song I cried because I knew that everything was biased and placed around him. I loved him. I was too young and too foolish. I don’t like people who try to fix me so when we broke up... I didn’t have a song for him. I just said “I don’t want to say I loved you enough to waste my time” but I did. I loved him so deeply.. he cheated on me too and I didn’t feel much towards it. It meant nothing. Senior year I dated my ex. I didn’t listen to music as much. Actually I would only play “Relax and focus” music.. it had scared me. I guess this time around I had decided that “I know it’s over By The Smiths” was the song I wanted to put labeled on out “love” but I wasn’t sure if I had loved him still. It was just convenient. He cheated on me yet again and I took some time from dating. I just hung out with my friends.. I guess this is when I found “Ocean of Stars by Demxntia” and I had wanted to be in love with someone so much that this had its own happiness around it.. but all yeh boys asking weren’t worth the ache and I wasn’t about to be stupid again. So I had given myself time and only hung out with people inside and outside of school.. Guillermo quickly became my favorite again.. we’d do homework together and laugh.. and we’d see movies.. take naps in his car. Go out to eat. During lunch we’d go check on his dog and mine. I didn’t realize that it was going to happen but one day while he was walking around market street with me he held my hand quickly and said “I have to tell you something” and I still didn’t have a song to dedicate to this poor boy.. at least not yet.. “Another you by Of Mice and Men” played one day while I was crying for my dad.. and i realized I wasn’t crying over him anymore... I was crying over you. I dated that ex again.. the stupid fool in me expected it to be okay and work out but it didn’t.. and I dated Dominic again but you could never love these people.. ever again.. after the ache.. and i realized although I had lived dominic undoubtedly I didn’t love t-him in that way. Then I found “The words I should’ve said by Demxntia” and I had thought about you.. Guillermo.. and I realize all these songs I’ve dedicated to other boys hadn’t even been the words I wanted to give them.. they just were the words I couldn’t find in myself to give to you.. they were the awkward declarations I couldn’t give to you yet because we never broke each other.. but the time we did... I did regret it. I loved you. This was the first time we left and it wasn’t mutual or understood- it was angry. The only time I had felt hurt by you. I didn’t need to give you songs back then. Didn’t need to label you or stamp you.. you were my forever and I should’ve saw that.. you were the only decent one.. all the love songs I gave them were songs I wanted to scream at you.. and when we finally started talking again... I felt so relieved.. I didn’t think things would go back to normal but when they did.. when you said you loved me.. I couldn’t be anymore grateful. I know it’s late and I’m making a stupid music post about my dumb history.. but I took so long to figure out who I really am. Way too long to figure out if I was able to love or not.. and I have.. and I carry them with me always but I sometimes skip the songs because I don’t accept broken hearts anymore. I just want to feel like I exist in joy... and you’ve done that. And I’ve worked hard to get here.

#music

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weiamilikethis · 8 years ago

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Bite (Wei)

Genre: Fluff/ Angst (note if you cannot handle mentions of death then you might not want to read this)

Two years ago my life had been normal and perfect. Okay that part is a lie, it wasn’t perfect but I didn’t mind it.

I was a country girl, living on a farm with my mom, dad, and little brother. We made our living off of our livestock and products. Mom always made the best jelly and ham while dad made our famous hard cider.

My brother and I would often take care of all the livestock and get the ingredients for our parents. When I think about him now, I still miss him with every fiber of my being.

Now my life is endless figuratively and and quite literally. It all changed when I met them. They became my best friends and for a short time, my worst nightmare. Especially Wei, lord knows I adore him but what he did…while it was an accident for awhile I couldn’t talk to him.

It all started when the ten of them came by the farm. My brother and I were picking apples for dads cider when they approached us.

Flashback

“Y/N!! LOOK AT ALL THE RIPE APPLES!!”

Lucas ran up to the ladder that was leaning against one of our many apple trees, jumping up and down with anticipation.

“Hold on little bro, you don’t get to climb that ladder on your own!”

He turned around to face me with a big childish pout on his lips, such a cutie for being 11 years old. I ruffled his hair, setting the bucket down so I could hold onto the ladder. He scurried up and began to pick the ripest apples, dad taught us at a young age which ones are best.

Only 15 minutes went by when ten strangers walked up to us. I could tell they were from the city just by the way they walked and their clothing didn’t help either. Two of them stood in front while the other eight followed behind.

One of the two in front was tall with dark blonde hair while the other was a bit shorter and had brown hair. They all looked friendly enough but since I had Lucas with me I didn’t want to take my chances.

“Lu, come on down and give these apples to dad. Come back when you’re done.”

“Alright.”

He hopped down from the ladder, grabbing the bucket of apples, then ran off to find dad. By the time Lucas was gone the ten mysterious boys had approached me and I could clearly see their faces. They all wore soft smiles, the two in front bowed to me before the fall one addressed me.

“Excuse me, but do you happen to know if this is the Odea Farm?”

His voice was deep but sincere and if I hadn’t known better, I could hear a hint of embarrassment. The rest of the boys said nothing but kept their eyes on the two of us.

“Yeah this is the Odea Farm. I’m the daughter of the owner.”

“Oh! You must be Y/N, I’ve heard about you from your parents and I’ve seen a few photos but I didn’t recognize you. My apologies.”

I didn’t know what to think. My parents always tell me who their buyers are and when they’ll be stopping by to pick up their things but this?!? Oh Hell no, my parents wouldn’t have kept a buy from me since I’m practically the greeter.

The boys could see the nervous look on my face so one of them spoke up. He was also tall, with pitch black hair, and a face that burns an impression in your mind.

“Sorry, we should introduce ourselves. I’m Wei. My friend is a relatively new buyer of your family’s products. I apologize if Kuhn frightened you.”

When I looked at him, I didn’t think he was going to sound that soft or even act like more or less of a gentleman. The emotion in his eyes was genuine and he clearly meant no harm. Though what still got me was how these boys knew what I looked like, let alone know my name.

“It’s fine…what really shocks me is how you seem to know who I am.”

“My aunt and uncle are friends of your parents. They would tell me about your family and you occasionally when I went to visit them. My aunt uses your moms jelly on my toast when I stay over and I love it…that’s how we know who you are. I don’t mean to sound weird or creepy…”

The one who spoke was a bit taller than me. His hair was black, a very cute face, and sweet voice. I think I remember him actually. During one of our family parties I saw a picture of him with his aunt and uncle. My mom was talking to his aunt about the jelly and I was with her. His aunt showed us a photo of her family and there was the boy. Though at the time his hair had been neon pink and kind of curly.

“You must be…uh…is it Dongyeol or Xiao?”

He gave me a cute toothy smile that made my heart skip a beat for a moment. It was so innocent but at the same time to alluring, though not in that way…more like intriguing.

“Both are correct. My real name is Dongyeol but practically everyone calls me Xiao.”

Xiao: what a cute name, fitting for such a cute kid.

“Would you mind showing us to your house? Your parents are expecting me in a few minutes.”

Before I could say anything to the tall dark blonde, Kuhn, Lucas came running back to me with an empty bucket. A huge smile plastered onto his face as he slowed down to a skip only to stop right in front of me. He looked up at the boys and waved to them. Xiao waved back with that same cute but intriguing smile, while Wei and a red headed boy came to the front of the group and knelt down to say hi.

“Jie jie, Tāmen shì shuí?”

I placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled down at him.

“Hui jia (go home), tell mom and dad they have a buyer with some friends.”

He ran off back to the house while I grabbed the bucket and lead the boys. On the way home I learned all their names: the dark blonde haired one is Kuhn, the shorter one with brown hair is Jinhoo, taller with black hair is Wei, shorter with black hair is Xiao, red hair is Wooshin, brown is Sunyoul, dark purple hair is Bitto, tall and with dark red hair is Kogyeol, styled hair that’s a mixture of brown and blonde is Gyujin, light brown hair is Hwanhee. All ten of them are good looking, I had to admit that.

When we got to the house I had them wait outside until my dad came out to greet them. He shook hands with Kuhn and lead them inside while I went to get Lucas so we could help mom with the jelly and jam.

End of flashback

That’s where it all started. From that day on I began to see the boys more often. They would stop by for products but also just to say hi to my brother and I. Most of the boys played with Lucas but Xiao, Wooshin, and Wei tended to stick with me most visits. The four of us became best friends. The others I was friends with, we all had fun spending time together. Some days we would hangout in the city and other days I would take the ten of them around the farm showing them all the fun things I liked to do.

As time went by I began to start feeling differently about Wei, sometimes I thought he could be more than just a friend. Other times I knew better than to wish because I could land in a grave. Every time we hung out, every slight touch and small gesture, it made my heart skip a beat.

I would try to push my feelings deep down within me until I could forget. But at night all my mind would do is think about him. Cursing silently to myself became a regular thing as I wanted so hard not to Like Like him.

Eventually Wooshin and Xiao caught onto my behavior and talked to me about it. I told them everything about my past experiences with the L word (Love) and how I wanted nothing to do with it. That is, until Wei showed up.

They listened, gave me advice and told me not to worry. Xiao told me Wei is a kind person and the last thing on his mind is to hurt anyone. Wooshin said that Wei can be dense so my feelings most likely went unnoticed by the Pillar. I figured the two of them were right but just to be safe I went and talked to the others to get their thoughts.

They all said relatively the same thing: Wei is a dense sweetheart and if I tell him how I feel he won’t over react. After hearing that I felt better and let the whole situation go. He and I were still best friends and he didn’t seem to pick up on my feelings towards him.

Though, when my 19th birthday rolled around he acted differently towards me. At first I didn’t pay much attention because I figured he was just acting weird like usual but this wasn’t his normal weirdness.

19th Birthday Party

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!”

“Thanks guys! You didn’t have to do all this though. A simple gathering would have been just as good.”

“Just as good isn’t good enough for our Y/N. now blow out the candles and make a wish.”

Kogyeol said as he set down he cake in front of me. The others were in a huddle around the table and I, waiting for me to make my wish. What I wanted and wished for, I knew I could never get. My heart sank into my chest and I felt a sharp sting fill my upper body.

I placed a hand over my heart, taking a deep breath and pausing for a moment. Then I blew out the candles, the boys clapped their hands in excitement as Sunyoul began to cut the cake. They got my favorite: red velvet and decorated it themselves. I was surprised at how well they did. Each found a place to sign their name with frosting after writing Happy Birthday in big font.

We played games while eating cake, a few of them were playing on my family’s Wii while the rest of us watched, waiting for our turn. The boys had given me my presents, that is, all but Wei. I wasn’t too sure what that was about and for a split second I thought he didn’t want to be at my party or even want to be friends anymore. Then I realized that if that were the case he wouldn’t have come over today or be happy for me.

Two hours had gone by so far and once Wooshin, Xiao, and Kogyeol were playing Wei placed a hand on my arm lightly. I turned to look at him and he motioned for me to go with him. We walked down the hall to a guest bedroom where he sat down on the bed, patting the place next to him for me to sit. I sat down with him and waited for what was coming next. He turned his body to fully face me and took a deep breath. If I wasn’t worried earlier I certainly had a reason to be now.

“Wei what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong…I just…”

He was obviously more afraid than I was because for the first time ever he couldn’t look me in the eyes. Wei isn’t one to shy away from eye contact when talking to someone.

“Is this about my birthday gift? You know if you forgot to get me something it’s not a big deal. Having you here is better than anything physical you could get me.”

I gave him my best smile, squeezing his shoulder gently to show him things were fine. That wasn’t the problem however as he still couldn’t look at me. Clearly he had bought me something but whatever was bothering him had to do with him and I.

“Y/N. I have something I need to tell you…”

Once he said those words I let go of his shoulder, moving away from him. I couldn’t take another blow but I knew it was coming, it’s me, there had to be another one somewhere. He saw my reaction and tried to get me to face him again but I wouldn’t, if he was about to hit me with his real feelings about the friendship I didn’t want to hear it. I knew what he was thinking already: you’re not that great, I don’t want to be friends anymore, you can forget about the last 3 years.

“…do you really think I would hurt you?”

That I wasn’t expecting at all. I glanced over at him and his eyes said it all: why would you think that? We’re best friends…

“What do you need to tell me?”

I kept my gaze on him but didn’t turn my body, I wasn’t willing to give that. He reached for my hands, holding them softly and it was then I realized how big they were compared to mine. I always called Wei a tree but being in this kind of proximity was very different.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time…I keep replaying how I’m going to tell you and every time I always get too scared. Not this time though. Y/N, you are my best friend, I love spending time with you, you make me happy and feel lighter in so many ways… You are such a sweet and kind person, you care so much for everyone in your life, but you’ve never had someone care for you…at least…not the way you want them to. You’re the sun in my world and I don’t want to let that go…I…I adore you. Will you accept my feelings?”

I looked into his eyes for a moment to make sure he wasn’t pulling my leg. No way was I going through more heartbreak and not by the one person I came to Like Like…not again…But Wei was being serious. There was no joke behind his eyes.

He waited for probably what felt like centuries before I leaned in closer to peck him on the cheek. His hand flew up to his cheek as he stared at me for a moment then a smile broke out on his face. That same cute, sincere, adorable smile that makes my heart stop for a second. We didn’t say anything to each other for a few minutes, silence was enough for us.

“So you feel the same way?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you either…but I’ve Liked you for a long time.”

“Then…may I..?”

I wasn’t sure what he was talking about until his face was only inches away from mine. I could clearly see into his eyes, dark brown with warmth to them. He placed his hand on my cheek, running his thumb over it softly before gently guiding our faces closer to each other. At first his lips just barely grazed mine but it took only half a second for him to fully connect with mine. It was a sweet and gentle, but I could tell he meant everything he said through the kiss.

I moved closer to him, not wanting to let this moment go. One of his arm found its way around my waist, pulling me into his lap. When he pulled away I felt like I was in Heaven. For once I thought I could genuinely be happy with someone who cared for me as much as I cared for them. I hugged him tightly, thanking him. He chuckled while hugging me back and whispered in my ear.

“Happy birthday my little Devil.”

“Thank you Wei…”

He suddenly pulled away with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. I laughed at him since he looked like a cod fish.

“I almost forgot, I do actually have a physical gift for you!!”

“What is it?”

“It’s with the guys, hopefully they haven’t ruined it by now.”

I got up and ran out to the living room with Wei trailing behind me. Xiao glanced at Wei who nodded his head with a big smile gracing his face. Suddenly there was screaming and yelling from all sides of the room as the boys began to attack me and Wei with hugs. Hwanhee and Xiao were like giggling children while the rest were able to communicate words.

“Dude, you finally told her?”

“See Wei? I told you you had nothing to worry about. She adores you.”

“Thanks guys, I’m honestly just glad that she listened to me without running off.”

“Oh…uh…Did you happen to tell her about..”

He looked down at the floor when Jinhoo brought it up. There was some guilt in him now that he hadn’t told me something also very important.

“…no…not yet it’s too soon.”

Xiao and Hwanhee pulled out a box from behind the couch and pushed it towards me. It was about half the size of me and seemed like it could possibly weigh as much as me. I looked over at Wei who gestured for me to open it. I grabbed hold of the ribbon and pulled. The box opened and on the inside was another box. This was smaller and looked more like it held clothing. Wooshin handed it to me, I sat down with my legs crossed in the floor to open it. I peeled back the tissue paper to find an all black outfit with a single rose.

“Wei…”

“Do you not like it? Your brother told me that when you go to town you don’t like to look like a country girl so you wear these kinds of things…plus whenever we go you always dress more like this..”

“No I love it, thank you so much.”

A Year Later (20h Birthday)

Wei and I spent my next birthday alone in my apartment. By then I had moved out of my parents house and found a place in the city to live. The boys would often stop by for sleep overs so they left some of their things at my place. Wei would come over most of the time so we could hangout. By now we had been dating for a year and he still hadn’t told me his secrete. I knew he had one but I wasn’t going to push him to tell me until he was ready.

It was on this night that I found out his secret. Not because he told me but because he just did it. We were watching a movie together in my couch, cuddling under a blanket. The peaceful moments with him are my favorite and this was no exception. Half way trough the movie he asked me to make a snack because he was hungry. To this day that boy still eats way more than I do.

I got up to make some popcorn for us, my back facing the living room. I went to the cupboard and pulled out a popcorn bag, put it in the microwave for five minutes and waited. My phone vibrated in my back pocket, I pulled it out to check. I had a message from Xiao. He wanted to be the last person to wish me happy birthday. Since it was around 11:50 pm he had managed to be the last. I sent him a message right back thanking him. I got so busy texting him I didn’t notice Wei sneak up behind me and snake his arms around my waist. He left gentle kisses on my cheeks and around my neck. Though what happened next I couldn’t have prepared myself for. He paused for a second and gave me another kiss on my neck but this time he didn’t pull away: he sunk his teeth into my flesh.

I didn’t scream but I did pass out. He caught me in his arms before I hit the floor and he began to panic. He brought me to my room, laying me down on the bed gently before grabbing a wet cloth and pressing it against my neck. Wei stayed up for hours watching over me, I didn’t wake up until 4 am when I found him asleep next to me. I moved away as fast as I could, hugging my knees to my chest. All I could think was: he bit me…he actually bit me… then I felt my neck and found two small punctures in the middle of my neck in between my ear and collarbone.

The bed shifted slightly and I found myself looking right into his eyes. They were glowing red and I could see the ends of fangs sticking out slightly from his mouth. He looked at me with a sad expression, moving away and sliding off the bed. I watched him walk out of my room and then out of my apartment. Then I cried. I couldn’t help it. Part of me hated him but part of me was terrified that I had lost the best thing to happen in my life.

For weeks we didn’t see each other or communicate in any way. Xiao and Wooshin came over more often to check up on me but I wouldn’t talk to them either. I figured that if Wei was one, they all were. Kogyeol would try to call me but I’d never answer. I let each call go to voice mail and each message left unread. Little did I know that Wei was having and even harder time.

He wasn’t eating, sleeping, or talking. All he would do is lay in his bed and cry his heart out. Wooshin and Xiao tried many times to get him to at least drink water but every time they tried he would ignore them. All he wanted was to be alone and suffer the consequences.

By the time I decided to go to pay them all a visit and I had gotten over the emotions running through my head I wasn’t sure what I would find. I knocked on the door softly, waited a few seconds, and the door flew open to reveal a sleep deprived Kogyeol. When he realized it was me standing in front of him he pulled me in for a tight hug. He didn’t let me go for a good five minutes, in which time Wooshin and Xiao had found us and joined in on the hug. When they finally let me go they all looked exhausted, but more sad than anything else. Wooshin was the first to look me in the eyes and I could tell what he was about to say wouldn’t be good.

“It’s Wei…”

“What happened?”

“Y/N…were so sorry but…Wei…he’s…”

“No…Xiao no…he can’t be…”

I didn’t let them talk to me anymore. I ran down the hall to his room but found it locked. I banged my fists on the door and yelled for him to open it but there was no sound or movement inside. Wooshin, Kogyeol, and Xiao were standing behind me, watching as I tried to get in.

“Get me a hammer. NOW.”

Xiao ran off to get the hammer and came back in .5 seconds with an extremely worried look on his face. I began to hit the door with all my strength and eventually made it into his room. All the lights were off but I could tell where he was. There on the bed, in a heap, was an unconscious Wei with tear stained cheeks. He wasn’t breathing. I jumped on the bed, crawling over to him and shaking his shoulders.

“Wei!! Wake up! Come on don’t do this to me!”

I felt the pain in my chest and knew the tears would follow soon but I didn’t care. I wanted him back and I wanted him now.

“You can’t leave me like this!! Wake up dummy!!”

Nothing. No matter what I did he wouldn’t wake up and I started to sob. My cries filled the dorm, my body shook violently, I hugged Wei with all my heart. All the boys were standing in the hallway, tears filling their eyes as they watched me. I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t have left me like that. And yet some part of me knew he was already too far gone.

Eventually I felt a hand on my back: Kogyeol had tears streaming down his face. I gripped onto him, not willing to let go. He cried with me, rubbing my back slowly in circles just like Wei used to right before I would fall asleep.

“I’m so sorry…we tried everything we could…but he refused everything…he only wanted you…”

“It’s my fault. I-I should have come by sooner. Then maybe I could have saved him….”

“Y/N…?? W-what are you doing here…??”

I turned around to the familiar voice and found Wei looking at me with tired, dead eyes. If it’s possible I began to cry harder as I hurried over to him. I landed on his chest and sobbed my heart out again but this time because he wasn’t dead. When I pulled away I began to pepper his face with kisses. Once my lips met his it seemed like something sparked inside him. He sat up abruptly, kissing me back with passion, an apology, and happiness. When he pulled away his skin had gained color back, his eyes were bright and full of wonder, and best of all I could feel his heart beat.

“I thought…I really thought..”

“I needed time but I’ve made up my mind. I’m never letting you go again.”

He pressed his forehead to mine, staring deeply into my eyes and he smiled.

“I love you my little devil.”

Everyone gasped then began to clap their hands vigorously. He said the three words that I used to dread hearing but now that they came out of his mouth, I loved them. I knew then I wanted to hear those words from his lips for the rest of my life. He alone would be able to say this words to me like that.

“I love you too Wei…with all my heart and soul.”

“Hey Y/N, since you’re officially a vampire now, why don’t we celebrate?”

We turned to Hwanhee who had a hopeful smile on his face. Xiao stood right behind him while jumping up and down. The other boys seemed to be very excited now by this prospect and I couldn’t blame them.

“Let’s celebrate.”

Wei said still looking at me. The boys whooped and cheered as they ran off to get things ready leaving Wei and I alone in his room.

“I’m sorry..”

“For what?”

“For not talking to you. I should have but I couldn’t bring myself to just yet.”

“It’s alright. We’re here now and things are looking up.”

“That’s true.”

“Come on my little devil, let’s go celebrate your new vampire life.”

- Admin A

Hey guys! I hope you liked this scenario, honestly it’s my first time writing one so please bare with me and I will improve over time. If you want to request feel free to message us. I know I set up an ask box but I’m not too sure if it’s working so…yeah anyways, happy reading!

#Wei scenario #Wei #Up10tion #sorry for the shitty writing #it's angsty I know #I tried

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crazyblondelife · 6 years ago

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Living With An Eating Disorder

This post has been on my mind for quite some time but I've just now gotten the courage to write it. Saying you have or have had an eating disorder is like a dirty little secret that you don't want anyone to know. Eating disorders are a huge problem in our society and the more we talk about this problem, hopefully the easier it will become for people to recognize that they need help.

Eating disorders run they run the gamut from anorexia to compulsive overeating. What is going on and why is it getting worse? Here is my story and some statistics that might surprise you.

At least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder in the U.S.

Every 62 minutes at least one person dies as a direct result from an eating disorder.

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness - 13% of women over 50 engage in eating disorder behaviors.

In a large national study of college students, 3.5% of sexual minority women and 2.1% of sexual minority men reported having an eating disorder.

16% of transgender college students reported having an eating disorder.

In a study following active duty military personnel over time, 5.5% of women and 4% of men had an eating disorder at the beginning of the study, and within just a few years of continued service, 3.3% more women and 2.6% more men developed an eating disorder.

Eating disorders affect all races and ethnic groups.

Genetics, environmental factors, and personality traits all combine to create risk for an eating disorder.

I think an eating disorder is much like any other addictive behavior...once you have it, it never goes away, you just learn to control it, or not. I decided to share my story because obviously I'm not the only one who has struggled with this issue.

1963 was the year I was born...in May. I had a pretty normal upbringing for that time period. My mom stayed at home and my dad went to work everyday. He wasn't especially involved in raising my sister and me but he was always there. As I got older, and hit puberty, (I think it's the case with a lot of girls), things definitely changed for me, including my relationship with my dad (dads are so important). In today's society, we are much more open about our bodies and the changes that go on, but that wasn't the case in 1974. Everything changed for me...my skin broke out, my hair got curlier and out of control, but one thing remained the same, I was always thin and I could always eat whatever I wanted to eat. I had a pretty rough adolescence to say the least (that's a whole other blog post), and I ended up getting married at the ripe old age of 19, I can only speculate about why, but I knew I was making a mistake when I walked down the aisle. Being married at such a young age was so much more difficult than I ever thought it would be, but I tried to make the best of it (also another blog post). I was alone most of the time and worked at a full time job that I hated. I also started to gain weight for the first time in my life and I felt so badly about my life in general. I remember one day, I was putting gas into my car and I saw a cute girl walk by who was so thin and I decided then and there to lose the extra weight (15 lbs.) that I had gained. I probably weighed about 130 pounds at the time and wasn't particularly overweight, but weighed more than I wanted to. Disclaimer here: this is MY story, and this is the way I felt. It wasn't about the weight, it's was how I felt about myself. I started to severely limit my calories and counted every single bite that I put into my mouth. I was so obsessed that I even counted a single jelly bean. In the beginning, It felt good and I got so many compliments. The compliments gave me momentum and I continued to limit my calorie intake and eventually lost about 40 pounds and weighed a whopping 89 pounds. My parents were horrified but had no idea how to help me. My anorexic state was hard to maintain, just by not eating, because I was craving whatever it was that food meant to me (love, comfort?), so I became bulimic and would eat huge amounts of food and then throw up. That was the very lowest point in my life. I felt so badly about myself and was so embarrassed, but seemed to have no control over my behavior.

During this whole period of my life, I only saw a therapist once or twice and honestly have never seen a therapist about this specific issue since then. I believe all of our issues are caused by not loving ourselves. Long story short, I found out I was pregnant when I was 22 and my crazy eating habits stopped...for a while. I didn't want to hurt my baby and this was very happy news for me. I gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy and delivered a very healthy baby girl. After she was born, the eating disorder came back...I think because I was so unhappy in my marriage and with my life in general and didn't know what to do. Honestly, growing up, I was never told that I had the capacity to create my own reality (even though I was doing it by default). My life was happening to me and I was miserable.

What I didn't know at the time was that my wildest dreams were important and not impossible and I had a message and something important to share.

My marriage ended when my daughter was 3 and I felt worse about myself than ever. I was bulimic off and on until about 10 years ago. It was never as bad as it was in the beginning, but my guilt over eating what I considered "to much" was sometimes more than I could handle. Again, ot wasn't about the weight. I know there are those that will read this and not understand how I could be so crazy when I wasn't overweight, but it was (and sometimes still is) a mind game I played with myself. It isn't normal behavior which is why it's called a disorder.

Let me get back to the part about anorexia/bulimia being an addictive behavior, not unlike being an alcoholic or drug addict. Once you "get in that head", it's a lifetime struggle to keep it under control. There are still very few days that go by when I don't know every single bite that has gone into my mouth. I also still feel guilt sometimes when I overeat and I still rarely overeat without under eating the next day to compensate.

I'm not telling you this for sympathy, because I am so grateful for my life now (even the crazy parts because I'm learning and growing from them). I just know that I'm not alone and I think it's important to share. I will admit that I like being thin, but sometimes the standards that I hold myself to are difficult. What causes eating disorders? I don't think anyone will ever know exactly, but I do know for sure that stress, unhappiness, and a society that doesn't celebrate self care and self love are a huge part of the causes of these eating disorders and even though they affect men, women seem to be statistically more predisposed to eating disorders. I also know that having an eating disorder bleeds into every other part of your life. A lack of self confidence causes so many problems because decisions aren't based on what's best for you...you don't feel deserving, so you settle for less than you deserve.

Saying someone has an "eating disorder", doesn't seem quite as accurate as saying someone has an "emotional eating" issue. It's all about emotion; we eat (or not) because we're happy, or sad, or lonely, or anxious...the list goes on. So many times, food is associated with love and I think with eating disorders, we are either trying to love ourselves or punish ourselves, with food. It's hard because as humans, we have no choice, we must eat...making eating disorders unlike alcoholism or drug addiction.

I will say, that my obsession with eating inspired my love of cooking. It was during the time when I was the thinnest, that I became interested in learning everything I could about cooking and eventually started a catering business. I still love to cook (as you know) and I also love to eat. I don't believe that eating disorders have anything to do with food. The problem is manifested through food, just as a drug addiction has nothing to do with the drugs. We figure out how to medicate ourselves. It's true that when you know better, you do better. I now know that taking care of myself, through meditation, yoga, being with friends, and taking time to just be, in other words, self care and self love, are the keys to overcoming almost everything. The fact that I now know that I am important and I am worth the time and effort it takes to truly nourish myself and love me has made all the difference in my life. Learning about The Law of Attraction and that I am a spiritual being and have the capacity to create the life I want through my thoughts has changed my life.

I now know that I am here on purpose, there is nothing wrong with me, I deserve to be happy, my weirdness and flaws and passions are perfect for who I am here to be and there are no mistakes. My life has been a journey and some days are still easier than others, but I wouldn't trade the things I've learned for anything.

#eating disorders #inspiration

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itsworn · 7 years ago

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Future Shock! Youngster Builds 700HP Dart With Tuner Style!

We’re going to toss out a few contemporary words for you to ponder as you read about Pennsylvania resident Jared Roberts ’67 Dodge Dart GT. The first one is “demographics.” You’ve probably heard that one used quite a bit lately to categorize and segment the world we live in. Simply defined, Demographics is the collection of data regarding the specifics of a given population. Since this a brand devoted to Chrysler products, we’ll narrow it down to the average Mopar owner. As a demographic statistic, one of its predominant attributes is that, as a collective, it is an increasingly aging crowd. You really don’t need a degree in sociology to see that. Go to any car show or cruise night and take a long hard look. This isn’t, however, something that is exclusive to the Mopar crowd—it is across the board with all the Detroit iron. Generation Y and X have increasingly become less interested in cars in general, and muscle cars in particular. With social media, the Internet, video games, and hundreds of channels of mindless TV at one’s fingertips, getting under the hood of a car and turning some wrenches has become surprisingly rare with the younger generation. You might be asking at this point what this has to do with Jared and his ’67 Dart? It actually has quite a lot because he doesn’t fit into this growing X or Y demographic. At the ripe age of 22, he has bucked the trend by building one killer Dart.

We’ll now toss out the word “facilitator.” By definition, a facilitator is someone who helps understand an objective and assists with a plan on how to achieve that objective. In Jared’s case, his facilitator is named Jeff Roberts, and in old-fashioned lingo it means dad ponied-up some cash to help his son buy a car. Beyond helping out financially, Jeff was a constant source of inspiration for Jared with all things Mopar. Their family roots with the Pentastar brand spans a number of decades and generations. At one point, his grandfather owned Rutledge Motors, one of the largest Chrysler dealerships in the Pacific Northwest. Jeff spent the summer months while in high school working there as a detailer. At that time, he also owned a ’72 340 Challenger and a legit ’70 440-six pack Challenger as daily transportation.

In the late ’90s, as a result of a growing family, Jeff sold the Six Pack Challenger. In the years that followed, it was often the topic of discussion. Jared grew up hearing tales of that car and of Jeff’s many street-racing exploits. Those stories left an indelible mark on Jared, which motivated the purchase of his first Mopar at the age of 15. Jeff stepped up to the plate and helped him buy a ’72 Charger Rallye, or should we say, about half of a Rallye. Jared notes, “It was essentially just a painted shell. It had no electrical and was missing half the trim. It was also missing all kinds of brackets, and it had no engine or transmission. It turned into a real money ordeal for me because I didn’t have any of the parts for it.” Jeff contributed to the project by giving Jared a 440 that he had pulled out of his Power Wagon, but even with that substantial gift, he admits, “It was one of those situations that for the amount of time, money, and my skill set, I was in way over my head, so I decided to put it aside and pursue another car.”

Turning to the Internet, they both started looking for something that wasn’t as incomplete as the Charger. Jared points out, “I always had a thing for Darts, specifically the ’67 to ’69 models because of the Hurst Hemi cars. Those made an impact on me when I was younger, and I really wanted one with a big-block.” They narrowed the choice down to a purple ’69 with a 440, and a blue ’67, also with a 440. Both of those ended up being a total bust. The 440 in the ’69 was running 14:1 compression and the body was not as pretty in person as it was in photos. The ’67 was actually the right car, but it was priced way out of Jared’s reach. Everything was put on hold for a few months, and out of nowhere, the blue Dart pops up again for sale at a substantially reduced price. He recalls, “My dad asked me to clean out the car hauler. He told me that he was going down to West Virginia to pick something up. I didn’t think anything about it, so I asked him what kind of thing? He told me, a car. I asked him what kind of car, and he told me, a blue one.” Jeff once again became the facilitator by fronting the money for this new addition, but it is worth noting that, as with all the other purchases, it wasn’t a free ride for Jared. He had to work it off in the family business.

The Dart was a clear upgrade from the ’72 Charger. It was a running and driving big-tire car with a roll cage. Crowned with a Weiand Hi-Ram manifold and Holley carburetor, the 440 looked the part but was actually a bone-stock mill pulled from an RV. It didn’t take long for Jared to hit the road with the Dart, but he notes, “I used it as-is for about two weeks until the fuel pump quit on it, so I ended up putting a new fuel system in it. The ignition also went, so I put an MSD system in it as well.” A trip to the Mopar Nationals in 2010 brought more grief when the ClutchFlite transmission grenaded itself, which forced to him park the car indefinitely. With the Dart sidelined, he pulled the 440 and the remnants of the transmission out and once again re-evaluated his options. The idea of rebuilding the 440 that Jeff had given him for the Charger gained traction.

Using that 440 engine as a starting point, Jared sent it to DL Automotive & Performance in State College, Pennsylvania for the machine work and then had Ryan Johnson at Shady Dell Speed Shop, also located in State College, Pennsylvania do the assembly work. The 440 was stroked 526 cubic inches and stuffed with Keith Black 10.25:1 forged pistons, a K1 Technologies forged crankshaft, and capped off with a set of Indy 440 EZ-295 CNC “Little Easy” heads, and an Indy single-plane intake crowned with a Prosystems SV1 95mm carburetor. On the dyno, this combination yielded a stout 736 horses at the flywheel. At that point it was only half the road traveled. This much power meant that a suitable transmission was also needed. Jared opted for a 727 TorqueFlite, which Shady Dell also put together for him. He also swapped the 8 ¾ rear with a narrowed Dana 60.

This whole process took the better part of a year to pull together. As a teenager, Jared had to pinch pennies and work his butt off at the family business to come up with the money for all this. Even with Jeff’s support along the way, he was still financially responsible for it. This down time on the Dart also allowed him to cosmetically improve it by doing some painting under the hood. Once the drivetrain was back in the car, it once again hit the open road.

All the obstacles seemed to have been overcome, and he was finally able to enjoy the fruits of his sacrifices, but as is the case with many things in life, sometimes the unexpected happens. In October of 2013, while driving his younger brother Dalton to school, the Dart was T-boned on the passenger’s side. The impact was so violent and the damage so severe that it trapped Dalton inside the car. As a result, the rescue workers had to cut the roof off the Dart in order to remove him. Jared ended up staying in the hospital for a day, however Dalton wasn’t as lucky. He spent four days in the ICU, and a total of four weeks in the hospital as a result of his injuries. The Dart was also a casualty. It was totaled, but the silver lining in this story is that the roll cage did its job and prevented any fatalities.

A few weeks after the accident, the desire to buy another car began to grow and facilitator Jeff once again stepped in. Jared recalls, “My dad called me when I was in school and asked me what I was doing that night. He told me to stop by Shady Dell after school to look at a car.” Jared jumped at the opportunity of looking for another suitable car. What he walked into was a ’67 Dart that was in about the same level of completion as the ’72 Charger that he had previously owned. It was tubbed and had a Strange 9-inch rear tucked underneath. It was missing the engine and transmission, glass, wiring, or plumbing, but it was wearing a fresh coat of paint. It also came with fiberglass fenders, hood, trunk lid, bumpers, and a 16-point roll cage. It was being sold by the second owner, and had spent most of its life as a racecar. In the late ’90s it was parked, which was a blessing because what was there was in exceptionally good condition. Prior to being put up for sale, the owner had started to fix it up with the idea of putting it back on the street, but his lofty ambitions quickly ran out of steam. Jared notes, “When I sat in this Dart, I noticed that many of the things that I wanted to originally do to the blue Dart were already done.” Jeff once again brokered the deal for the car, and five grand later he had another Dart to play with.

The drivetrain from the wrecked Dart was destined for this new car. The 526 wedge was sent back to Shady Dell for repairs, and a new 727 procured since the old one was destroyed in the accident. While that was taking place, he swapped out the factory torsion-bar suspension with an RMS AlterKtion coilover system. Progress on the car was slow at best because the dollar amounts needed to put it back on the road were substantial, and in the back of his mind, the memory of the accident was still a lingering thought. “A couple of times I thought about selling,” he notes. “I was thinking is it worth it? I put so much time and effort into the last one, and some idiot took it all away from me in the blink of an eye and I ended up back to square one.” That mindset put the project into slow motion for about a year until Jeff donned his motivational speaker hat and dished out some reality. He told Jared, “You have to hit it like you’re going to kill it, or you just need to sell it and get your money back out of it.” Needless to say, Jared hit it pretty hard. At the time he was also hanging out with the local tuner crowd, and they too served as source of motivation to push the process along. As a result, some of the current vibe with the Dart clearly reflects that tuner influence. As an example, the fiberglass hood needed to be painted, and instead of trying to match the existing paint, he opted to send it off to State College Vinyl in State College, Pennsylvania for an urban camo wrap, along with the bumpers, which also received a carbon fiber wrap. Jeff being a traditional Mopar guy was not initially amused by this decision. It was in his opinion, “Rice burner design.” He has apparently with the passage of time grown used to it to the point that he actually likes it. As work wrapped up on the car, one of the biggest lessons learned from the accident was seat placement. The seats in the blue Dart were anchored to the stock mounting points on the floor. On this car they were integrated into the roll cage as an added measure of security. Jeff dove in when it came time to sort out the wiring. He is an electrical engineer by trade so he created a one-point ground wiring grid system for the car. This allows everything to have a single point of power, and a single point of ground, which eliminates having to ground against the body.

The Dart officially broke cover in September of 2015. After two long years, which included many doubts and buckets of money, Jared now looks at the end result as more than a collection of parts. Upon reflection, he states, “I have learned many fundamental things that not only applied to this car, but also to life in general. Time and money management, along with making the right decisions are probably the most important things. My dad and my friends have been both the greatest supporters, and my greatest critics throughout this build process.” We can also point out that in this instance, the apple didn’t fall from the tree, which should be an inspiration for those dads out there to help their sons and daughters embrace the gift of grease, no matter what badge it may wear.

Fast Facts

1967 Dodge Dart Jared Roberts, 22; Bellefonte, PA

ENGINE Type: 526ci RB-Series Chrysler big-block Bore x stroke: 4.250 (bore) x 4.440 (stroke) Block: 1969-vintage 440 Chrysler Rotating assembly: K1 Technologies stroker crank, connecting rods, timing chain, and Keith Black forged pistons Compression: 10.25:1 Cylinder heads: Indy Cylinder Head 295cc 440 EZ, single valve job and CNC porting by Indy Cylinder heads Camshaft: Bullet Racing Cams custom-grind solid-roller camshaft Valvetrain: T&D Machine products rocker arms, Smith Brothers pushrods, Comp springs, Isky solid roller lifters Induction: Indy Cylinder Head single-plane manifold with port-matched air cleaner and Prosystems SV-1 95mm bore carburetor Oiling system: Ray Barton oil pump, Milodon oil pan Fuel system: Jaz fuel cell, MagnaFuel QuickStar 300 fuel pump, MagnaFuel deadhead fuel regulator, Earl’s 10-AN lines and fittings Exhaust: Stahl 1 1/8-inch fenderwell headers, Jeg’s Racing mufflers Ignition: MSD system, 7AL-2 box, Pro Billet distributor set at 36 degrees total timing Cooling: Meziere 35gpm electric water pump, BeCool 1,000hp aluminum radiator Fuel: 93-octane pump gas Output: approximately 736 hp at 5,200 rpm and 711 lb-ft of torque at 4,800 rpm Engine built by: Shady Dell Speed Shop, State College, PA. (machine work by DL Automotive & Performance, State College, PA)

DRIVETRAIN Transmission: 1969-vintage TorqueFlite three-speed automatic, bolt-in sprag, high-pressure regulators, shift kit, four-pinion planetary, Griner reverse-pattern valve body; built by Shady Dell Speed Shop Converter: PTC 10-inch converter, 4,000-rpm stall Shifter: Precision Performance Products Power Shift air shifter Driveshaft: custom unit made by Shady Dell Speed Shop Rearend: Strange 9-inch with a spool, 3.89 gears, 40-spline axles

CHASSIS Front suspension: RMS AlterKtion coilover system, RMS 1.75-inch sway bar, Viking Performance 650-pound springs, Viking Performance double-adjustable shocks Rear suspension: 450-pound QA1 springs, QA1 double-adjustable shocks Steering: Flaming River manual steering rack Front brakes: Wilwood four-piston calipers, Wilwood 11-inch rotors Rear brakes: Wilwood four-piston calipers, Wilwood 11-inch rotors Rollbar/chassis: mild-steel 16-point roll cage of unknown origin, custom suspension mounts, back-halved and narrowed frame

WHEELS & TIRES Wheels: Billet Specialties Street Lites; 15 x 6 (front), 15 x 12 (rear) Tires: Toyo Proxes R888 235/50R15 (front); Mickey Thompson SR radial 31 x 9 x 16.5 R15 (rear)

INTERIOR Seats: Kirkey touring seats, Grip Royal Artisan steering wheel with Digital Snow Camo Instruments: Auto Meter Sport Comp instruments Wiring: kick-panel integrated electrical system hub

Jared Robert’s 1967 Dodge Dart is a mix that both the old-timer Mopar guys can appreciate and the tuner crowd can drool over. Producing horsepower the old-fashioned way, he has integrated his car within the local tuner community.

Tucked between the fenders is a vintage 1969 440 block punched-out to 526 cubic inches. Capped with Indy Cylinder heads and intake, on 93-octane pump gas it pumps out 736 horses at the flywheel.

A 16-point roll cage features prominently in the interior of the Dart. Unlike his previous car, Jared has anchored the seats to the cage as an added measure of safety. As street cars go, this Dodge still retains much of its racecar DNA.

Old meets new. Instead of painting the Hemi Dart scoop and hood, Jared decided to add a tuner-inspired Camo wrap instead of trying to match the existing paint on the car.

The kick-panel electrical system hub designed by dad Jeff integrates the wiring into one spot. Consolidating all the wiring connections helped Jared avoid the electrical gremlins that plagued him with the blue Dart.

In the blink of an eye, the hard work Jared put into the blue Dart was taken away in a matter of seconds. The severity of the impact, and the resulting damage is evident from what was left after the rescue workers cut the car to pieces to remove his brother. The roll cage was the difference between life and death.

The post Future Shock! Youngster Builds 700HP Dart With Tuner Style! appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network http://www.hotrod.com/articles/future-shock-youngster-builds-700hp-dart-tuner-style/ via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Hot Rod Network

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