#it’s bbq sauce but it can also be any other sauce you see fit

[anendoandfriendo]

(Context)

3, 9 (mostly the second halves) and 10? :D

Congrats, y'all, it's your system and your system specifically who has unlocked The Infodump, and specifically because of this combination of asks. Get infodump'd lmao.

3. What’s your system name if you have one, and how did you choose it?

Pffft. This one isn't very creative lol.

Anyways. Our system name is Rusanya (short for "The Rusanya Collective," which happens to be short for "The Rusanya[n] Collective/Federation of Subsystems and Sidesystems" lol) and we actually came up with it when we were much smaller than this on the assumption we would not stay as small as we were as "a" system at the time. We had to have been like....twenty-five people, at maximum, back then.

~ Hailey (Admin), 🏔, Nagisa

9. How long have you been a system and/or known of your system? and 10. How did you discover your system? What was the process?

We will just answer these together as they kind of segway into each other honestly. We've been a system since birth and, well...we think we've just never had the words to describe it we guess. There's a lot of things that kind of point us in that direction. We have talked about it several times in many places, but if we may do a quick review for the class:

We could "see ghosts" in preschool through first grade that may have actually been headmates. Which is further proven by Ricky never being in our yearbooks for elementary school, like, at all.

WE FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT CHRISTOPHER WHEN WE FIRST POSTED THIS OH MY GOD so like Christopher was this like, extremely immature middle school boy who we swear to god was literally just out there to hurt us when we were in preschool. Blonde dude with bright blue eyes and a buzzcut iwrc LOL. The teacher would always pull him to the side to "talk to" Christopher about the bullying but their responses made no sense in the context of the things Christopher would say to her. Like, that seems very blatantly plural to us especially since he was one of the most clearly autonomous folks in the little system group we had at the time in our headspace or whatever.

Also from first grade: we went from BBQ sauce being spicy and burning our tongue once to it not being spicy at all, like, literally, as it was as soon as the teacher stated there's no way for it to be spicy. Which sort of makes us think we were already either splitting by then or just straight up had multiple selves already and we just never fucking thought about it. Like, we didn't know that was Not Normal. We did not have any spectacularly traumatic events that we can recall in our life until late middle first grade to very late first grade, and this was an incident from maybe our first month or so being in first grade.

The projection thing happened a lot at home too, but it was one specific squirtle (pokemon) instead of Christina, Kelli, and Ricky, and they really just seemed to like dance? Or stereotypical mariachi bands? Anyways, that squirtle and then Christina and Kelli kind of fused into one individual, while Raymond and Ricky stayed their own separate people.

Raymond has described before the unintentional process of creating a second person to control the body when it left the realm of our consciousness. Many times -- it's actually a little horrific how much this man remembers of our childhood and how well everything he as said thus far fits together with Just Everything.

Our fascination with like, "possession" and stuff that was similar to it through a conceptual lens, even though we HATED horror movies.

Our first trauma-based incident where we can discern an actual person coming from it was late elementary school. "Late Elementary School," here means fourth and fifth grade, specifically fifth grade. There were certainly things before that but nobody had really split off from us at that point. We can literally figure out where Silva came from, and possibly Grapefrost, down to the time period because of it. Grapefrost has a literal clay mask they made of herself in fifth grade of elementary. Like, we have been around for Forever. We just had zero clues.

Our first soulbonding experiences were likely in middle school. We had very weird obsessions with "what if X character were in OUR WORLD???" and even had this Secret Thing where we would let them "see through my/our eyes," which in all honesty is probably how we learned to switch. Like.

We literally learned to switch without the help of other systems. That probably sounds absolutely insane to plurals these days, but even back in the early 2000s, 2010s, unless you were like, explicitly aware of plurality -- which was often assumed to be heavily medicalized and called MPD; maybe DID and DD-NOS later on -- honestly we think this is kind of a miracle. In that nobody noticed and in that we learned two switch in the first place. (Insert comment here about "kids these days" but like, in a positive way.)

We actually ended up running into the concept of endogenic systems specifically in high school. And then subsequently forgetting about it LOL. We made an account specifically to ask a (now-defunct) tumblr blog if "curious singlets" could follow to learn to be better allies LOOOOL. Nobody creates a tumble account solely to send a question like that unless they were already endogenic, sorry. Meanwhile we also had Gon and Killua from HunterxHunter projecting themselves in the middle of our speech classroom and the rest of us trying our best to not get distracted, and thought this was just what everyone meant by having characters running through your head.

We don't exactly know where this lies in the spectrum of our timeline yet, but there was definitely a one-time event where a SHITTON of plural stuff happened all at once: we were on the swings at the park at [REDACTED] -> we were sitting there and we were talking to ourselves internally while on the swings. some people near us has been talking about the USian flag for some reason. -> not only did we have a whole discussion about how fucked up the us is internally, as a system, we had several Hetalia fictives who had just been Sick Of This Shit(TM), with the This Shit(TM) being sick of their canon and how its unfolded just in general as well as "in realtime" as we jokingly put it these days. So someone LITERALLY sent out little aura strings to bring them back to our system, because why the fuck not? -> Anyways, our headmate Ghost switched to front right after that and gave their piece on the USian flag just to be informed that discussion was "five minutes ago," and it took literally EVERYTHING in us to not have an Autistic meltdown and scream at them that they were lying. We don't normally look at or even think about body language if we can help it but there was just...an atmosphere of confusion from these people even when we pushed it even a bit that was Very Different than our experiences with gaslighting, so we just...did not push it more than that. We think this is maybe when some of us made that promise to never be separated again as a system? But like everyone who lives here in our head is very aware of the promise regardless of if they were there or not back then haha. Like it's a whole discussed and disseminated thing.

When we were teeny tiny little things we though Yu-Gi-Oh! was fucking stupid as a premise because we just thought Everyone Was Like That(TM). We fucking despised it and avoided it like the plague because it was uncomfortable how much of a caricature it felt like things were, but, y'know. Toddlers and elementary schoolers probably can't explain that very well.

The reason we were thinking about Yu-Gi-Oh years later was because we once again ran into the system community at university and started doing some basioc looking-things-up. Sysmedicalists and anti-endogenics in particular were extremely uncomfortable for us to look at. We mainly just ignored them tbh.

When writing our university essays in our earlier years, some of us would literally type in different colors, fonts, and use different brackets when giving ourselves input on rough drafts. Yeah, sure, that's totally a thing singlets do arewerite????

Pretty sure the reason we found out we were a system was because Nagisa from Assassination Classroom decided to talk back to us about our headcanons, actually, at least from this fronter's perepsective. Which is fucking funny because soulbonding isn't even inherently plural, but there's a large association between the two and whoever was fronting at the time just went: "HOLY SHIT THAT'S POSSIBLE??" because, if we recall correctly, we found the idea of soulbonding alongside/close to a mention/discussion of endogenic systems. Like if it wasn't right next to each other, then we must have looked at one first and then the other in quick succession and then something clicked. If we ever find our exact trail ever again, we will definitely try to put it back together again.

We think we came out online about a year or so later, and offline followed a couple of months after that to a degree. We are now pretty blatant about it. Online we make it a big deal and offline we don't like, make it a huge thing unless you're a fuckign fed, but like, we don't try to hide it either lol. :3

Anyways, hopefully this was insightful? We hope so at least.

[badwolfweightloss-blog]

4-1

OK, its been a hot minute.

I went to disney. It was super fun. I ended up doing really well in the beginning before the family got there. I proved to myself that I can do this. Truth be told, I was not feeling deprived at all. Then the family came and all bets were off. I kept ordering luxurious meals, steaks, full apps and deserts, and the drinking started again.

Then, I came home, and instead of pulling my shit together, I took an entire month off, binging and drinking when I felt like it, because - why not?

What on Earth is the matter with me? Why do I do this self sabatoge to myself? It always follows a time when I am allowed to be off of my programs. I remember after losing a ton of weight, I ended up going to burger king because I really wanted to try that bbq sauce chicken sandwich they were pushing. It flipped the switch, and over the year that followed I gained it all back and more. Same story every single time I come back from vacation. This time in particular, I felt so angry and resentful that I had to come back home and continue life in the frozen tundra that is NY during March - I was completely unmotivated, had no interest in shopping or planning or cooking, or cleaning. It is April 1st and I still have not run any of my laundry. It is all piled up in my room and the laundry room. I don't know what's clean, dirty, ect. I'm having trouble finding clean underwear. I'm rewearing dirty stuff. This is what I have found myself doing - is it depression? A complete protest of living the way i have to live? A deep regret of the life choices i have made? All of that is amplified when I come back from vacation and see this life with fresh eyes, and juxtaposed with vacations, it sucks. Then, I play the same feelins and thoughts out over my chosen drug. Rinse, dry, repeat.

Anyway, Its April 1 - 1 month of that crap is done. I'm back. I logged my english muffin, egg, and cheese. I have preplanned lunch (out for lunch today for Dad's birthday.) But the thing i did that really triggered me back was ... I won a raffle for Orange Theory Fitness, and I took my first class yesterday. It was VERY scary and i almost walked out, but I stuck with it with much coaching, and I didn't die. I actually felt really good and my body isn't as sore as I anticipated today. I burned 520 calories. Amazing! I signed up for the same coach for tomorrow morning, which means I am not drinking tonight with my friends, even though they are coming over.

I also want to cook the ham my parents gave me - maybe I'll do that tonight and then I can give it away. I want to get a vegetable platter to munch on. Yesterday, I was munchie at my friends house, but couldn't stop with the cheese and the nuts. That was the 520 calories+ right there. GRRR. That's ok, its all new and I have a good feeling about this.

Additionally, I am planning to do some other fitness stuff too. I can't do OTF every day - well, I guess I can the first month, but next month I am signing up for the 4x a month plan, so I will have to suppliment my exercise program with some other stuff. Plus - you know, variety. So I'm thinking walking outside is great with the peleton coaches. They do fun 80s and disney walks so I will do one of those a week. Then I need two more fitness things that are fun and engaging to put into my schedule. That would be 4x a week. Plus I will push myself outside during work for walks to get moving. Its just not healthy to be sitting in front of the laptop for 8+ hours a day.

Also, gotta start planning meals again. Lets go easy - I need to be able to start small with all of this, or i won't see any improvements.

[dovalore]

hands you a jungle nugget

[henrycavillisbae]

Home

Summary: Logan ‘Sy’ Syverson, returns from his deployment. Maddy is 29 weeks pregnant with their first child, a girl, conceived the night before Sy was deployed. Sy hasn’t seen Maddy or the bump in person and to say he's excited is an understatement. Written in first person.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x ofc (Maddy Syverson)

Warnings: SMUT! Oral, slight MaleDom/FemSub, Pregnancy Sex, Bad Language, bodily fluids and fluff.

A/N: Hey guys! New around here (not really just been lurking in the background) Hope you enjoy this one shot. Got the name ‘Logan’ for Sy from @littlefreya. For the record I am English and this is set in a America soooo... Also, this is unedited and I'm slightly nervous!

I plodded towards the wardrobe and grabbed one of Sy's tshirts before pulling it over my head. It's one of the only things I can tolerate in this Texan heat and being pregnant. I then waddled downstairs to get some breakfast.

I groaned as a rolled my pregnant self over to climb out of bed. This baby makes me need to wee all the time. A second groan left my lips as I stood up and plodded towards the ensuite to relieve myself. Washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair resembled a birds nest. I quickly brushed my hair and teeth before making my way back to the bedroom.

I was greeted by Kal waiting for me by his bowl obviously after his breakfast.

"Okay Bear, I'll feed you" I said leaning down and stroking him, "your daddy is home today and Aika will be in a few days" he waged his tail to this obviously hearing the words 'daddy' and 'Aika'. Kal is an Akita who stays with me while Sy is on deployment, Aika is a German Sheppard that goes on deployment with Sy. This is their last deployment as Aika is retiring and Sy is moving to fire arms training. We found out I was pregnant just after he left for Iraq and as soon as he found out he was on the phone to his boss requested to move. I grabbed Kal's meat and scraped it into his bowl. I opened the door to let Kal out after he'd eaten. He quickly rain outside to do his business after he'd eaten. By then I had made a coffee and some toast and was sat on the sofa. As I was eating my breakfast the baby started to wiggle.

"Well good morning to you" I said rubbing my tummy, Kal running in and rested his head on my tummy, “You’ll finally meet your daddy today dot, and I need ti take you out in a bit Kal” I stroked Kal’s head before he got excited and bounced around. Laughed at him as I checked the time in my phone, 08:43. Sy’s plane landed at 12:03 so I had time to take Kal out quickly and get ready to drive to the airport.

After eating my breakfast I grabbed a pair of shorts and slipped my bra on underneath Sy’s Iron Maiden t-shit. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before shoving my phone in the back pocked of my shorts. Kal was already waiting for me by the door with his lead in his mouth.

“Alright boy, I’m coming” I called to him as I slipped my low top converse onto my slightly swollen feet. I clipped Kal’s lead to his collar and shoved my sunglasses on as I left the house. We walked towards the dog walking park near our house. We haven’t had any rain in a while so the grass resembled straw, tornado season had been and gone and summer was definitely here. Kal was already hot so we wont be having a long walk. In the summer the dogs get walked morning and evening. Kal ran round for 10 minutes or so before he decided he was too hot and wanted to go home.

By the time we reached home it was 10:15. My neighbour Hallie was taking her trash out.

“Morning Maddy” she called over the white picket post fence.

“Hey Hallie” I shouted waving back

“Sy’s back today isn’t he” she asked, I nodded in reponse “I bet you cant wait”

“I really can’t” I replied as I unlocked our large oak door, “I’m looking forward to soneone to help me put my shoes on. Thats becoming difficult” ‘I also need sex’ I thought to myself. I laughed slighty, we had sex a lot. By a lot a mean daily, sometimes maybe 2 or 3 times a day. Yup, I need sex.

“How loge do you have left” Hallie asked referring to my pregnancy.

“Around 12 weeks, Sy is having 6 months off before starting his new role in fire arms trainging, so that will be nice” I said resting my hand on my bump.

“Oh gosh” Hallie exclaimed, “Well look after yourself, we’ll have to all get together for a BBQ when Sy is back and settled”

“Yes we must, see you soon Hallie” I called waving to her as I walked into the house. I herd her shout bye back just as I was about to shut the front door. I unclipped Kal’s lead and he ran off to have a drink as I made my way upstairs to get ready.

I pulled out a floaty ditsy floral midi dress that was fitted at the top. The v shaped neckline and think straps accentuated my large swollen breasts. I laid it on the bed and quickly used the toilet before I sat at my dressing table. I decided to apply a light layer of make up, if I wore too much it woud just melt off of my face in this heat. I let my hair out of it’s top knot and ran my fingers through the curls to make it look presentable. I checked myself in the mirror, my blue eyes sparkled due to the brown eyeshadow I had applied. I applied a thick layer of lip gloss before getting up to get changed. 

I pulled off my tshirt and shorts and put on a white lacey thong and my white lacey maternity bra. I walked over to my full length mirror and took a picture of my bump in the mirror making sure the my breasts were obvious. I opened up Sy’s contact and attached the picture with the caption, ‘We can’t wait to see you daddy’. I sniggered before pressing send. Sy will see this before he see’s me and I know it will drive him mad. I pulled my dress on over my head before needing to rearrange it over my bump. I found my strappy wedges before sitting on the bed to put them on. Sy’ was a foot taller then me so I needed all the help I could get with my height. I then made my way downstirs again.

11:07

“SHOOT!” I shouted to myself. I rushed around and grabbed my bag throwing the food I had made for us in it along with the ‘Welcome home Daddy’ sign I had made which was rolled up,  my phone, purse and bottle of water. I grabbed the keys to our Ford Ranger and rushed out of the house. 

I arrived at the airport at 11:45. I managed to find a place close to the arrivals lounge to park. I spotted ‘Ocres’ girlfriend, Jaimie, sitting in the red chairs of the arrivals lounge. I waved and walked over to her.

“Maddy look at you!” she exclaimed standing up to give me a hug. I hugged her back before sitting down next to her, “How are you?” she asked after she had made herself comorftable.

“Fat and hot” I said laughing, “Still have 12 weeks to go roughly” I rubbed my bump slightly.

“You know, rumour has it that Sy said he would never stop being deployed. You must be a special person as he’s chaging his job role” Jaimie said as I grabbed my sub roll out of my bed to eat. I had made Sy his favourite pasta to eat on the way home. I took a bite and wiped sauce off of my lip before replying.

“And now look at me, fat and horny” I replied laughing, “Pregnancy hormones are no joke”

“Well I’m not surprised you’re married to Captain Big Dick, I’d miss that too” Jaimie said laughing. I had forgotten that’s what they called him. His nickname also didn’t lie. His cock stood proud at about 10 inches when erect, it had a good girth to it too. Thinking of his cock did not make my horniness any better. Jaimie and I sat talking until my phone buzzed. It was a message from Sy.

Don’t think they’ll be staying on for long when I get you home darlin, my cock is already desperate to be inside you.

Who says I’m still wearing them? I replied smirking. Jaimie and I made our way to the arrivals gate and I pulled out the rolled up sign as we waited for our men to appear.

We only waited 10 or so minutes before we saw some soilders arrive and their significant others run up to each other. Jaimie then saw Ocre and ran up to him. Ocre pulled her into his enbraced before kissing her. They then walked over to me hand in hand.

“Maddy” Ocre said greeting me, “Congratulations” he said pulling me into a hug. “Sy hasn’t shut up about you or the baby. Quite sweet really, slightly irritating but mainly sweet” I lauged at Ocres comment. I caughte a glimpse of Sy out of the corner of my eye. He was dressed in his military gear which always made my knees go weak. As soon as he saw me he started to jog towards me, i jogged towards him and we met in an embrace where he picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He kissed me firmly,  with his hands on my ass, I felt the faimiliar flutter in my chest of his kisses.

“God I missed you Darlin,” He whispered to me in his thick Texan accent.

"I missed you to bear" I said kissing him again. He put me down and then nealt down and kissed my tummy.

"Hey there dot, hows my little princess doing in there?" He asked my tummy before kissing it again. She did a little wiggle and Sy's face lit up, "that's amazing" he gasped looking up to my. By now my eyes were starting to leak salty tears.

"She wriggles alot" I said as Sy stood up and pulled me into his chest.

"I love you Darlin'" he said wiping the tears away with his thumbs' "You look so beautiful carrying my daughter" he kissed me tenderly.

"I love you too bear" I whispered into he lips before kissing him again. He threw his bag back over his shoulder and held hand as me made our was over to Ocre and Jaimie.

"Miss Williams" Sy said greeting her, "you look well"

"Call me Jaimie Sy, I am well thank you" she replied greeting him back. We stood and chatted for a little while before we decided to head off.

"Right, I'm off to get laid" Sy announced making me laugh and blush at the same time, "Remember what I said Ocre, put a ring on it. It the best thing you'll ever do"

"Roger captain" he replied, "Oh and dont poke your daughter in the eye with that dick of yours" Si flipped him off as we walked off.

"He's only jealous of my big dick" he started laughing, "You made my trousers very uncomfortable earlier with that picture of yours.

"That was the idea Captain" I said to him smirking, "by the way I've made you your favourite meal to have on the way home"

"Thank you darlin', you're my favourite meal though" he replied smirking.

We arrived at the car and Sy chucked his bags in the back before we both climbed in. I grabbed the food out of my bag for Sy and passed it to him before shoving my bag in the foot well of the car. Sy unbuttoned his military shirt and took it off revealing the white tshirt underneath which he quickly untucked from his trousers.

The drive home took half an hour and you could feel the sexual tension in the car. Sy would glance across at my breasts and shift uncomfortably in his seat which in itself make my pussy tingle.

Whe we arrived by home I grabbed my back before walking up the drive to open the door. Sy soon followed with his bags. Kal barked and ran up to us as we walked through the door. He saw Sy and jumped up at him.

"Hey boy" he exclaimed as he dropped his bags in the hallway and made a fuss over him, "Did you miss me? I missed you too"

I opened the back door for Kal to go out.

"Come on Kal, toilet" I called, he left Sy and ran out into the garden. Sy walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me placing his hands on my bump. He kisses my neck as he pulled me close. I could feel his already hard cock through his trousers. I rubbed myself up against his crotch earning a groan from him. I turned around and kissed him passionately, his hands travelled to my ass and he massaged each ass cheek.

"I need you Maddy" he groaned into the kiss.

"I know Sy, me too" I moaned back. Kal ran back inside and Sy quickly locked the back door before picking up up the same way he did in the airport, which caused me to squeal and he carried me up the stairs.

He booted our bedroom door open then pushed it shut so we wouldn't get disturbed by Kal. He placed me down gently on the bed before he pulled his tshirt off and climbed between my legs. He hitched my dress up to above my bump. He placed lots of soft tender kisses over my tummy.

"Fuck Maddy, you're so beautiful" he groaned as he rubbed his crotch to relieve some of the built up pressure in there. He quickly pulled my dress off leaving me in just my lacey underwear. "These have grown" he growled as he massaged my tits. I moaned and quickly propped myself up on some pillows as I can't lie on my back for very long.

Sy leant down and kissed me hard, he deepened the kiss by darting his tongue in and out of my mouth. I groaned as he rubbed the outside of my thong with his thigh. His kisses made their way down my body and he stopped at just above the top of my thong. He swiftly removed my thong and kissed my mound. I groaned with pleasure. Sy slipped a finger into my cunt earning a moan from me. He harshly sucked on my clit causing me to gasp and moan. He slid another finger into me and started to finger fuck me quickly. He licked circles around my clit with brief sucks and nibbles that he knows drive me mad. I could already feel my release starting to build up. The familiar burn started in the bottom of my tummy, my legs started to quiver around Sy's head and my cunt started to clench on his fingers. Sy sensed this too as he picked up the pace with his fingers.

"Ohhhh fuuuuckk, Syyyyyyy" I moaned as I tumbled over the edge. I felt him smirk into my pussy as a moaned and convulsed under his touch. He finger fucked me until I came down from my high. He moved up me and kissed me. Our tongues fought for dominance, our teeth clashed in desperation of us wanting to feel complete again. Sy pulled away and rid me of shoes. He then stood at the end of the bed and stripped him self of his trousers, boxers and socks leaving him standing there naked. He'd gotten bigger since being away, obviously been working out more. His beautiful cock stood proud begging for attention so I shuffled down to the end of the bed and took it in my mouth.

"Arg Maddy" he groaned as I started to move my mouth up and down his cock. He laced his left hand through my hair and started to fuck my mouth. I gagged as his cock hit the back of my throat. I relaxed my throat to let Sy's cock down. I swallowed against his cock causing him to buck his hips and groan at the same time.

Suddenly Sy pulled away. He wiped away the dribble and precum from my chin. Before kissing me and pushing me back down on the best the best he could without putting pressure on my bump.

"I was about to cum Darlin', lord knows I need to paint your walls with my seed. 6 months is too long" he growled into my ear, "get on all fours" he ordered as he flipped me onto my front. He knelt on the bed and lined himself with my entrance. Slowly he pushed his throbbing cock into my pussy.

"Oh Sy" I gasped as his cock stretched my pussy walls. He stilled briefly as I got used to the size of him again, "Sy please, move" I begged.

"As you wish Darlin'" he quickly unclipped my bra which I threw to the floor, before he started to thrust in and out of me. "Ohhh Maddy, I've missed this pretty little cunt of yours" he groaned behind me.

Sy fucked me quick and hard. The same way that got me pregnant. The new sensation of my heavy tits slapping my bump and my nipples brushing the comforter turned me on even more. Neither of us were going to last much longer. Sy's thrusts were becoming less paced and more erratic. My body started to convulse in his grasp.

"Cum with me Darlin'" he grunted as my cunt started to tighten around his cock. He smacked my ass my orgasm hit.

"Unnggggg Syyyyyy" I moaned my cun convulsed around his cock. I felt myself squirt around his cock and onto his stomach. I could hear my juices squleching around as he fucked me to his release.

"AARGHH MADDY!" He called as I felt him still inside me. I felt his cock throb against my g-spot

"FUCK" I shouted loudly still riding my orgasm. I squirted again as he involuntarily fucked his cum into me causing me to convulse in his grasp. He held he tight to stop my legs from given out as my orgasm shook my body. He hissed as my cunt milked the very last of his cum out of his now sensitive semi hard cock.

I rolled onto my side and lay there panting. Sy collapsed down on the bed next to me. I laughed as my breathing started to become more normal.

"What?" Sy asked pulling my close so I was using his chest as a pillow.

"Nothing, I just love you that's all" I said leaving a soft kiss on his nipple.

"I love you both too" he said kissing the top of my head and stroking the side of my bump, our baby. "I'm never leaving my two girls again, ever" he muttered into my hair. He pulled the thin sheet over us and I felt my eyelids go heavy. We both drifted off into a content afternoon sleep. I think we might knew we would be needing as much energy as we could now Sy is back.

[chainofclovers]

welcome to my self-indulgent ted lasso fic meta

My own dang tumblr feels like the ideal spot for some self-indulgent meta about things I've written. It's happened before and it'll happen again! Here is some self-indulgent meta about the (barbecue sauce) series (Ted Lasso, Ted/Rebecca/Keeley/Roy love square + other relationships within), and specifically about the final installment, also called "(barbecue sauce)."

Writing this series, especially the third part, was a feverish yet coherent experience, if that makes any sense whatsoever, and I realized I really wanted to write down some of the stuff I was trying to do in terms of the structure and content so that I don't forget. I'm putting it behind a cut in case you would prefer not to see all this detail or if you have not read it and might like to someday!

big picture structural stuff

I wanted each story to be about very, very private things that progressively reshape both the public and private reality for all four people involved in the love square, even though we don’t get each character’s interior perspective in every story.

"as fearless as" (Rebecca POV): the shocking new reality of saying what you want out loud and trusting that another person--or people, in this case--will be able to respond honestly. Ted and Rebecca get their first inkling that even if their living situations are very complicated, together they can create something that feels like home, and they don’t have to be in the same physical location for the feeling to work.

"face to face" (Ted POV): negotiating not only the dynamics of a new relationship structure but confronting a former home that no longer fits. Even though Ted’s son is the most important person in his life, his body and spirit are rejecting all the old familiar places, and it exhausts him to the point of rawness and leaves him open to seeing himself not only as someone who loves Rebecca and can accept that she loves him back but not only him, but that he could actually participate in the poly dynamics for himself, too.

“(barbecue sauce)” (POV shifts from Rebecca to Roy to Ted to Keeley to Ted to Rebecca): happy endings, and how finding that happy ending doesn’t mean life stops being hard, but being uncompromising in one’s commitment to happiness does make it possible to navigate even the most panic-inducing things.

little picture bbq sauce things

The first draft of the final installment started with a lot more relationship establishment stuff, but the most liberating thing I could do for the story was scrap those details and start with a zoomed-out happy ending. Rebecca’s figuring things out with Ted and with Keeley and even with Roy, and all four of them are committed to each other, and no matter what happens, they aren’t going anywhere. She is loved and adored and sexually and financially and spiritually safe, and she's able to share that love with her partners in return. I really wanted the first section to end with a paragraph that felt more like the end of a story. They love each other, bad stuff could happen and they’d still be together, boom.

But then I wanted actual challenges to come up and prove the happy ending right. This part actually happened kind of organically, insanely enough, but each section’s conflict gets progressively more intense:

Roy imagines what their love square would look like from the outside and does his own Diamond Dogs-style pep talk to reassure himself that perceptions don’t matter as much as what he actually feels

Ted and Roy spend time together alone and start to confront the possibility of having sexual feelings for each other, something that is very scary to explore

Despite feeling disrespected by her mother, Keeley listens to her mother’s wishes and brings Rebecca home to meet her and it doesn’t go well--but instead of trying hard and smoothing things over, Rebecca reassures her by showing Keeley she sees her mother for who she truly is (sometimes being judgmental instead of open-minded is actually the best way to show your love for someone...a lesson Ted ironically exhibited when he saw through Rupert instead of assuming the best of him and told Rebecca as much)

A conversation between Ted and Michelle goes south really quickly, with Michelle botching her reaction to the revelation that Ted is in a queer poly relationship. He panics, terrified that Michelle could withhold Henry from him, but is able to keep himself together enough to reach out to Rebecca for help

Rebecca has to process the realization that Ted has deep-seated fears about mortality that relate to his father’s death and his fear of leaving Henry prematurely (or maybe he already has), but instead of giving in to how scary it is to hear Ted talk about his own death during his panic attack, she stays calm and takes care of him, and they end the night having sex with the promise that in the morning Roy and Keeley will join them and they’ll all be together to continue processing everything that’s happened, and planning Henry’s party, and doing the best they can

I totally knew it was gonna feel a little intense to end the story a) with a really painful intrusion into their happiness and b) while Ted and Rebecca are literally in the middle of having sex. But I wanted the midpoint of sex being the end of the story to kind of imply that things are still going to keep happening even after the story is done. And because we already know they’re committed to making this work out within the love square, the real happy ending of the story is Ted and Rebecca’s ability to weather this panic-inducing experience even if it’s obvious there will be many more challenges ahead. I wanted it both ways: to suggest a long and complicated future that these four humans are capable of weathering together, and to conclude the story with one of the most intimate and lovely things humans can do together.

I also made a decision about halfway through writing this story that even though there would be a decent amount of sex and allusions to sexual experiences, there would be no descriptions of orgasms in this story. I mean, the love square is having great sex. They are having orgasms. But I didn’t want to actually describe those moments of heightened build-up and release because I wanted the increasingly challenging self-communication and communication with others to feel like leveling up. This is actually a somewhat embarrassing sentence to write, but the real climax of the story is Ted mustering up the strength to call Rebecca during his panic attack and Rebecca arriving to be with him. I didn’t want any physical climaxes to muddle it up or get confused with the triumphs of communication.

Anyway, I told you this meta would be self-indulgent. I fucking adored writing this series. While there are things I could have done differently and things I might indeed do differently if I were to write this as a better writer some number of years in the future, I was able to accomplish what I wanted in this moment, and I’m so glad I had the experience of writing a callback to the little murmur of “barbecue sauce” in 1x8, which is my favorite moment of Ted Lasso so far and possibly the most wonderfully written shorthand for home I’ve ever witnessed.

[kindness-bliss]

New Beginnings Ch. 7

Timothy Thatcher x OC

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: none

Tim looked over at her discreetly he witnessed her trying to open a jar and cleaned his hands on his already stained shirt “I got that for you”   “And I got this for you” she said as she went into her small closet in the living room and pulled out a flannel shirt  “It’s my dads, I don’t wanna see you in a bloody dried up t shirt as we make dinner”   He nodded quickly as he took off his shirt and unbuttoned on the one she gave him Maya blushed as she grilled her ground turkey and noticed how chiseled he was, his upper chest having the perfect amount of body hair and peaks, his biceps bulging out nicely but not overly muscular or anything like that    “It fits” Tim grinned as he showed her  “Not that bad on you” she admits with a small grin “Plaid is definitely your style, I like it on you” “I-I don’t deserve you being so nice to me” he said quietly “Maya, I won’t ever be able to stop saying sorry to you ever, know that. I’m probably gonna say sorry to you for as long as I know you”   “Tim, when’s your birthday ?” Maya asked suddenly as she looked at him “I know it’s 1983 but month ? What month ?”  “March….March 17th” he answered slowly “why ?”   “Oh my god you’re a Pisces, suddenly everything makes sense wow” she nodded as she laughed “Gosh you fit it to a T, you’re a water sign”    “What does that have to do with anything ? A water sign ? What the hell is that ?” Tim asked confused as he put his cutting board down   “It’s your sign Tim” she chuckled “Your sign is a Pisces which makes sense because they’re...well you are considered to have a sign that is known for its over sensitivity, self-pitying but also very selfless and very accepting”    “Oh” he said softly “well I guess yeah, kinda is me. My mother says it’s because I’m an only child and never got to experience things other children got at my age since I also stayed with my grandmother a lot. I think that made me highly sensitive”   “You call it highly sensitive, I call it highly aware” she grinned as she took the carrots and celery from him and added them to a pan to saute   Tim observed as sat on a stool by her “what are you making ? It looks kinda complicated honestly” “Bolognese” Maya says “Though I’m kind of cheating because I’m using sauce from a jar, but I promise it’ll be good”   “Oh” he nodded “I don’t cook much honestly, I only have ever made chicken or ham and it’s typically without seasoning. Same with my rice, I stick to bland foods for the most part. I broke my diet when we went to that Korean BBQ place” Tim said softly as he reached over and cut up onion for her    “Glad I got you to change things up for a bit, though you ghosted me and acted like a child afterwards and ruined me introducing you to better places” she giggled   “I’m gonna age myself here a bit but um, what’s ghosted ?” he asked with genuine interest as he looked down at her   “It means ignore, basically a millennial way of saying you ignored me” she answered back  “Ah I see, I like that...ghosted. I’m adding that to my vocabulary” he nodded as he repeated the word under his breath as he chopped   “Gosh he’s cute” Maya thought to herself as he stood only inches away from him, their arms basically touching as she sauteed. She made sure she stayed in close distance as she cooked looking around as silence began to take over   “Since you were a dick to me, you have to be really nice to me now like really nice” she said with a smile  “I will do whatever you want or need me to do” Tim smiled at her with his dimple popping out more “Kiss me” she whispered nervously as she looked into his eyes    “Like...like right now ?” he asked nervously “o-okay...I’m not that good at it though and my beard is gonna scratch, my lips are kinda dry too and-” he stopped blubbering when he felt her soft lips gently press onto his as she carefully put his hands on her waist as he leaned in more and placed hers on his cheeks    Maya grinned up at him afterwards as she gently wiped his lips and put ice back on his face “go sit with this on while I finish here and by the way, you’re a good kisser”  He chuckled as nodded and sat on her couch “well thank you, haven’t heard that one in like 5 years at least”. Tim sat quietly as he iced his face trying to make sense of what had just happened. Just 6 hours ago he had told her horrible things and now here was having just had a make out session in her kitchen as they cooked dinner together. Tim looked around as he picked up magazines she had on her coffee table and looked through them smiling when he realized they were all her covers or features. One in particular catching his eye, a feature in a parenting magazine where she was holding a baby on her lap.    “Last year” Maya grinned “I typically don’t do those kinds but they needed a model last minute and I happened to be in the area and went in. It was fun, kids and babies were great to work with honestly and now what I expected. That little one stole my heart, made me think I wanted my own for a bit”    “You think about kids ? Not in a weird day of course, just since like me you’re an only child” she asked “I mean yeah, sometimes” he admits quietly “Granted I really thought I was gonna stop wrestling when I was like 30 and settle down and have that white picket fence life everyone else had but clearly life has passed me by. But I’ve had some other good things in life, experiences and memories not everyone has had in life. I’m not one to complain, you ?” Tim asked as he looked at her   “Sometimes I want 1, sometimes none and other times I want like 5” Maya chuckled

“5 ?” Tim laughed “That’s a basketball team right there, Jesus that’d be feeding an army daily”   “Which is why then I think maybe not having them at all would be more beneficial” she laughed “I’ve got time to think about it thankfully, like 5 more years”   “Enjoy your youth, and your job. It’s interesting, really it is Maya” Tim says genuinely “You’ve been to some amazing places, you have experiences most won’t get and you’re only 25. It’s amazing truly”  Maya grinned at him as she fixed the ice pack on his face “I appreciate that, but your face will appreciate this ice way way more”. Damn, kissing him must’ve been the best thing she felt in ages, she could tell he wanted it just as bad as she did yet kept his usual calm demeanor. She came out of her daze as she heard her her cell phone buzz, muttering quietly as Marcel’s pet name appeared  “Dinner tomorrow is still on ?” “Yeah….but let’s meet somewhere, I think I’m ready to tell Tim the truth” Maya sighed as his name quickly appeared on her screen and declined his facetime requests and calls immediately  “Answer me please, Maya just don’t do it today please. Let’s meet tomorrow and we can figure something out...please ?” “Fine, I won’t do it tonight but I’m doing it soon, I like him a lot and I’m not gonna keep secrets from him Marcel, and neither should you. I’ll text you tomorrow morning” she sent as she put her phone on silent and set their plates up She went to the bathroom as she wiped her residue makeup off her face and put her hair up in a ponytail to fresh up, applying some perfume lightly as she looked herself over and left the bathroom    “Oh” she whispered as she saw Tim sleeping on her couch, giving soft snores as his arms were crossed on his chest. Even in his sleep he wasn’t relaxed, it kinda looked like he was just closing his eyes to her and waiting to spook her any second. She contemplated waking him up for a second and went to touch his shoulder, but instead decided to graze his cheek with the back of her hand gently, covering him up with her throw she had on the couch.  Maya shrugged as she turned on the tv and sat on the opposite end as she stuffed spoonfuls of pasta into her mouth watching Real Housewives of New Jersey, shaking her head at the stupid drama on her television shifting when she heard Tim move around and groan   “What ? What happened ?” Tim asked with a groan as he stretched “did I fall asleep here ?” “You did” she nodded “only been like an hour and a half, now please get yourself a plate and don’t bother me for the next 20 minutes because Teresa Giudice is about to cause drama at this fashion show so shhh”   He raised his brow in confusion as he stood up and served himself a plate and sat next to her going back and forth between her reactions and the tv screen in front of him “Did she just call her an old hag and a bitch ?”    “Tim shh” she put a finger to his lips absentmindedly Tim nodded quickly as he leaned back into the couch and ate, speaking up when the show was over with wide eyes “That was… a lot. Is all reality tv like this ?”  “Only the best” Maya laughed “and by the way, sorry for shushing you like that” He shrugged “I deserve more than that”  “Tim, as of tonight we drop it” she turned to look at him “Please” Maya cleaned up thinking what the hell she got herself into with him, this wasn’t in her character at all. One second she was ready to see him drop dead 8 floors to the ground and the next she was making out with him in her kitchen. This was new territory she was going into and deep down it felt right, it felt right to kiss him and feel his touch and she could feel he was feeling the same way. She turned her head , gasping as she bumped into him    “Yes ?” she whispered “Maya, I like you” Tim said “I like you a lot...and I feel like if I don’t tell you now that it’s just us here in a comfortable environment I probably won’t say it again. This isn’t like me one bit” he admits “I’ll be honest yeah I’ve had girlfriends, I dated women here and there but I never felt like this…”    “Like how ?” she asked softly  “Scared, scared that when I was with you I liked who I was for once, I felt at ease and like I didn’t need to put the harsh wrestling persona up. You didn’t care or give it much thought either or pestered me like some others had in the past. And I just wanna say-” “Tim shut the fuck up and just kiss me already” she said softly    And he did. He kissed her deeply as he moved his hands down to her hips and lifted her with ease onto her kitchen countertop feeling her hands move up and down his chest. It wasn’t just a long kiss, it was several kisses with small breaks in between to ensure they could catch their breath as their hands roamed freely all over each other's bodies. Maya unbuttoned the first 3 buttons off his shirt as she lightly traced his chest with her nails as her forehead pressed against his “we should go to my room….we don’t have to you know...have sex but we can just do more of this there comfortably”   “Okay” he nodded as he took her hand and followed her into her room, looking around at the pristine condition everything was in. A vanity organized with makeup items and skin care products he couldn’t even name, her bed perfectly made and covered in pillows, a closet the size of his bedroom with clothes in every color of the rainbow. Everything so neat and luxurious, everything he didn’t have.   She leaned up against him she kissed him again, this time with more dominance as she stumbled onto her bed on top of him, feeling his hands lightly on her lower back    Tim pulled apart from her as he rubbed his slightly red lips and pet her hair gently with his hand “I haven’t had anything like that in a while” he admitted with a small grin    “Neither have I’ she chuckled, licking her lips feeling them swell “It’s like free lip filler” “Always a comedian” Tim laughed genuinely sitting up on her bed “Jesus it’s 11 already and I gotta walk back to my car to get home, I got tapings tomorrow”   “Just stay here and I’ll take you back in the morning, it’ll be early I promise” she said softly as she gave a comforting grin “Okay, I”ll take the couch though. I’m not sleeping in your bed, this was a one time thing that I typically don’t let happen”    “What a gentleman you are” Maya said as she brought him a pillow and blanket “I’ve got all the works on my tv so feel free to watch what you like, bathroom is right next to the closet”    “Thanks, I appreciate it really” She got up in the morning as she turned off her alarm and got ready for the day, taking a peek and seeing Tim up and sitting as he watched tv making different facial expressions  “What are you watching ?” she chuckled as she walked out and turned on her Nespresso machine “Danielle is a mess, I get why you watch this trashy stuff. It’s addicting” he shook his head as he turned it off  Maya laughed as she took out two mugs from her cabinet “Well now you know and let me guess, you take your black ?” “ Yeah” He nodded as he got up and sat on a stool    “I got a shoot in like an hour so I probably won’t be able to talk to you for most of today” she said softly as she packed her bag “chances are till late late tonight”   “Oh….well um I was hoping if you’re able to, I actually have a taping tomorrow and I wanted to ask you if you would like to attend ? It’s about 2 hours, it’s fun even for someone like you who’s never been around wrestling” Never been around wrestling, after a great night she remembered the big mess she had yet to talk to him about. Marcel, shit.    “I’ll try my hardest” she responded with a grin as she drove them back to his car “Thanks again for driving me here, I appreciate it have a good shoot” he nodded as he lingered for a while leaning in slowly as he pet her cheek with his hand and kissed her “Um I think your friend over there saw us” Maya laughed softly as she pointed to an opened mouthed Oney at the gym entrance    Tim chuckled and shook his head as he got out “I’m not gonna hear the end of this one, I’ll text you later, have a good work day” he smiled softly as he walked away “Is that….you have a ?, speak up already” Oney pushed as he followed him to his car “you can’t just not tell me what’s going on after kissing someone like THAT” He turned around as he got out his gym bag “excuse me ? what do you mean like that ? what’s with the emphasis on the end there ?”    Oney shook his head as he gave a scoff “Do you have any idea who that is ? What kind of work she does ?”

  “Uh yeah she’s a mode” Tim nodded as they walked inside “I’ve seen her stuff, she showed me and talked to me all about it”

“I can’t believe you’re dating a model man, you of all people. No offense of course but I mean I never pictured you even dating someone at all”

Tim raised a brow “I’m that bad of a catch huh ? Gee I feel great now that you’ve given me this amazing pep talk, feeling like I can conquer the world now” he answered sarcastically stretching

  “How old is she ?” Oney asked “because there’s no way she’s older than 30”

“25….” he said softly “she’s 25, just turned 25 actually about 2 months ago”

“WHAT ?” Oney said as he spit out his water “No fucking way, you’re dating a 25 year old ?”

  “Would you stop, we’re not dating…….we’re friends that’s all” he answered as he began his cardio

  “Oh yeah because you totally suck face with a friend before leaving right ?” Oney chuckled “You’re in deep, you did the cheek grab and the little linger after you kiss” “Well maybe I like her, friends right now but who knows maybe after she comes to the show might change” he gave a smile “I invited her and she said she’ll come” “Who are you and what have you done to my friend ?” Oney asked with a raised brow “Because you are not the Tim I know” “Let’s just say maybe I wanna enjoy life a bit more” He shrugged “and I’m starting with her, she likes me. I like her, there’s nothing that can go wrong” Nothing right ?

[sunsetinmyvein]

CLOSED (for now)

All right, all right, ALL RIGHT. PEOPLE. For the first time, I am taking requestsssss (so, let’s see if this goes well or not lol). @aphxsia‘s taking requests, @dot-writes is taking requests, everyone is taking them and I just felt a tad left out, y’know? I’ve chopped up a bunch of other prompt lists to throw together this lovely prompt list below at the suggestion of Dot. My general idea is: send me a character, and one prompt from the “dialogue” side as well as one prompt from the “context” side (or more if you have more that fit together in an idea, I suppose. But I need one of each to get a VibeTM) and Iiiiii’ll do my best to make it work within a character x OFC/Reader sorta thing. Oh, and send me an album era for added flair, if you’d like. Deets below the cut.

 I’ll write for:

-          The boys of Fall Out Boy

-          The boys of Panic! At the Disco (we’re talkin’ Ryan and Jon days)

-          The boys of The 1975

-          And, if you’re incredibly ambitious, also willing to give Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low a whirl

 Rules:

-          Can’t do smut (sorry, it’s just awkward and clunky for me to write and nobody wants that)

-          Won’t write characters under 18

-          Won’t write slash

-          I just kind of reserve the right to be like “I dunno what to do with this, sorry” (But I’ve curated this prompt list, so I should be okay lol)

-          I’ll get around to them when I get around to them - I’ll be writing them around The Radio Station being posted as well, so you won’t be starved for content.

  Dialogue:

·         “You’re not in love with them, are you?”

·         “I could literally strangle you right now and no one would stop me.”

·         “It’s not as bad as it looks.” - “You’re not very convincing.”

·         “You need to relax.” - “Relaxing is for the weak.”

·         “How long has it been since you’ve slept?” - “A week?”

·         “How the fuck are you still alive?” - “It’s a special talent of mine.”

·         “Can you please just listen to me for once?”

·         “I think this is a bad idea.” - “You think all of my plans are bad ideas.”

·         “You should really listen to me more.”

·         “Do I even want to know?”

·         “You have the cutest smile I’ve ever seen.”

·         “Just take care of yourself, okay?”

·         “Please don’t use cheesy pickup lines on me.”

·         “I like it when you’re romantic.”

·         “I’m going to be pissed if we get murdered.”

·         “How could I resist?”

·         “I’m sorry, I don’t speak dumbass.” - “Real mature.”

·         “You’re worth every scratch.”

·         “I could name about 110 things I love about you.” - “That’s oddly specific.”

·         “We can raise hell together.”

·         “Partners?”

·         “Don’t get too cocky now.”

·         “Fuck me.” - “Really?” - “No.”

·         “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”

·         “Do you trust me?” - “Should I?”

·         “Do you have any idea on how frustrating you can really be?”

·         “I really, really want to kiss you right now.”

·         “I think we got off on the wrong foot.” - “You think so?”

·         “I don’t think that cancels out.” - “It does in my book.”

·         “You’re being dramatic.” - “I’m not being shit!”

·         “Take a break.” - “I don’t need it.” - “You look like a fucking zombie.”

·         “Then we’ll leave. Just you and me.”

·         “Do you need help? - “No… yes.”

·         “I hate you.” - “I love you too.”

·         “You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”

·         “It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”

·         “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

·         “Would it be too cliche if we matched clothes a little?”

·         “My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”

·         “Wanna, like– I mean, if you’re not busy… We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”

·         “Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.”

·         “What are you smiling about?”

·         “What’s in it for me?”

·         “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

·         “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

·         “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

·         “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

·         “Are you blushing?”

·         “Your hair is really soft.”

·         “You’re really warm.”

·         “You owe me.” “Fine, whatever you like.”

·         “I love you.” “Tell me that when you’re sober.” 

·         “I wasn’t lying when I told you that I loved you.”

·         “It’s pouring rain why are you here?”

·         “Is that blood?” “Yes, but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” “You are literally bleeding.”

·         “Cheers, I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

·         “Why is there a deer in the room?” 

·         “Is that vodka? At 7 in the morning?”

·         “Wake me up when it’s over.” 

·         “Why is arson always your first answer?”

·         “Are you flirting with me?”

·         “Are they really ‘just a friend’?”

·         “Is there a reason you never say my first name?”

·         “Shh… listen… that’s the sound of me falling in love with you.”

·         “I have to tell you something really important and if I don’t tell you now, I won’t get the chance.”

·         “Whatever he’s saying, he’s lying!”

·         “I play a mean air guitar, if that’s what you’re asking.”

·         “I thought you knew?”

·         “We can, y’know, go together? If that’s a thing you’d like.”

 Context:

·         I remembered it was Valentine’s Day late on my way from work and the only place still open was McDonald’s, is bringing you a cheeseburger acceptable?

·         I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something

·         The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and, OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere

·         You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking you the fuck down

·         You give me a different fake name every time you come into this coffee shop and I just want to know your real name because you’re cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

·         We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

·         “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

·         You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

·         It’s my high school reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me

·         There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

·         I wanted to go on the Ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go – oh, wait, are we stuck at the top? Fuck

·         It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war

·         It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out – no, stop, please stop

·         You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute

·         I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water

·         You’re pretending to be your friend’s lover for the sake of the friend’s family. But, I’m their sibling. And I know you’re not dating.

·         You had an assigned seat next to them at a wedding for a mutual friend.

·         You accidentally sprayed them with yogurt when you opened the lid the wrong way.

·         They mistook your bowling ball for theirs in the shared ball return.

·         They caught you when you slipped on ice and nearly fell over.

·         Accidentally stepping on their heel in a crowded room.

·         Tripping while getting into your seat in the theatre and spilling your popcorn on them.

·         Accidentally opening a door on their face.

·         They cover the small amount of change you are short on for a purchase.

·         They see your ice cream drop to the ground and buy you a new one.

·         You walk out of a dressing room asking if the outfit suits you, but it’s not your friend waiting outside the room like you thought.

·         Sharing an umbrella at a bus stop as it rains.

·         You help catch their dog when the leash slips from their hand.

·         Texting the incorrect number but continuing the conversation.

·         Getting paired up on an amusement park that requires even numbered riders.

·         A friend of a friend needs a place to crash because they got evicted

·         You’re so sunburnt you can’t even more, do you need help?

·         I admit that sleeping on the beach wasn’t the smartest idea but someone buried me in sand please help me

·         I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3am and when I asked you what the hell you were doing, you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet. Fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now. What the fuck is your name.

·         I always see you eat breakfast on the train and you always offer me some

·         I’m waiting for the train and the only open seat is on a bench next to you. Okay, sure, I’ll sit down next to the very cute person and I JUST SPILLED MY DRINK ALL OVER YOU I’M SO SORRY.

·         I don’t know you, but I fall asleep on the train every ride home and you always wake me up because we have the same stop, but we’ve never actually talked. Then one day you’re the one falling asleep and I got so excited for my comeuppance I made us get off at the wrong stop.

·         My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.

·         We’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad. Let me look after you

·         Did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

·         I beat you at Mario Kart and now I’ve been banished to the couch for the night

·         I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. I mean… sure? I guess you can come down here but- okay…

·         I asked a staff member and they said you’ve been coming to the pound every day to play with the dog I’m taking home today and that’s why you’re getting weirdly emotional

·         It’s my turn to open up the café today and you were sleeping under one of the tables when I came in, and I don’t know what to say so I’m just awkwardly sweeping around you

·         I’m drunk on public transport and you’re high and we both keep looking at each other knowingly.

·         You’re mowing your lawn at 5am and that is completely unacceptable and I’m going over to your house to yell at you about how unacceptable that is.

·         It’s like 3am and my roommate locked me out of the house and I forgot my keys and I’m really drunk and please take pity on me and let me crash at your place for the night o’neighbour of mine

·         We decided it would be fun to go camping and now it’s raining and we can’t figure out how to set up the tent.

·         I know it’s probably poor taste to ask you out during your relative’s funeral but I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, so…

·         It’s raining. I’m walking home in this downpour and have no umbrella. I’ve taken shelter on a random porch in the hopes that the rain will let up, but the door behind me had just opened

·         You’ve got a big, lush pool and I overheard you say you were going out of town, so I snuck over to use it but you came home early

·         You’re having a BBQ in your backyard and it smelled really good so I crashed the party

·         Not trying to make a scene here, but you took the last pool floatie and I want it

·         This is a big beach, why do you have to build that sandcastle right next to me?

·         You tried to grab the exact Halloween costume I want and it’s the last one and I want it.

·         I pranked the wrong person on accident, I’m so sorry I thought this was my friend’s car.

·         We just wanted to do one of these awful, fake ghost hunting shows but now shit is happening and we don’t know what to do.

·         I tried to take a shortcut and ended up stuck in this damn fence and you just happen to pass by and after poking fun at me for a million years you finally help me.

·         Two strangers locked inside the store at 3am together.

·         I accidentally broke your nose in a moshpit, sorry.

·         You’re the bastard who keeps parking in my spot so I retaliated by keying your car and you caught me

·         This is a long plane ride. You’re stuck next to me, and apparently afraid of flying.

[battlemaiden13]

What is/are all the differences between SF Syrup, and SFR Mutt? I used to think that it was the same skeleton that went by two different nicknames, but now I'm not so sure of that.

13: Some people combine them into one making them the same but since I think there’s enough differences between them I split them into there own skeletons. Here’s some of the differences between the two:

Mutt

will often hide his arm and hands in his jacket pockets away from prying eyes. He’s brother beats him a lot (At least thats what people think) but he doesn’t need others pointing this out. 

Loves his brother above all else and will follow his orders without questions or hesitation. His bratty brother is always right

was NOT a member of the royal guard. He was deemed to lazy to continue service after being caught lazing on the job one to many times

Drinks BBQ sauce and smokes at least two packets of cigarettes a day

Swears a lot whenever he talks. He won’t talk in front of his brother unless addressed first but if you get him alone he’s quite chatty. 

He also has quite a fowl mouth along with the swearing, often saying offensive and troublesome phrases. 

Has trouble accessing emotions. It’s not that he doesn’t have any he’s just use to squashing them down so he doesn’t show them. 

His two gold teeth were put in by choice, ripping out his old fangs himself and putting in the gold teeth

Prefers slim fitting clothes under a hoodie in the signature red colour. 

Doesn’t like using magic as he thinks it takes up to much energy. Unless ordered he’d rather let things sort themselves out

Syrup

Often has his arms wrapped up in bandages. He’s really clumsy and will often hurt himself on accident so he has to keep them wrapped up. His brother is not abusive

The clumsiness is the cause of both his scar on his skull and his gold tooth. He knocked his real tooth out when he was a kid and fell down the stairs giving him the scar

Is a Yandere, he doesn’t feel emotions often but when he does they are often overwhelming, giving him the motivation to kill for those he loves and cares about

Likes baggier clothes mixed with skinny jeans to hide in. Prefers boots over sneakers

Drinks Maple Syrup and will smoke maybe once a day but does it where he’s brother won’t see

Is usually really quiet, the only way to get him to open up is to talk about his brother. He doesn’t like talking about himself and usually stays out of most situations.

Is very smart and very secretive, often learning everything about a person within a few days of meeting. Mainly for blackmail purposes in the future. 

Has a soft/kind spot for those he loves, will often do anything he can to keep them happy and doesn’t like people implying that the people he care about are evil or bad.

Is a member of the royal guard although a rather low ranking one the strips on his jacket show his position. He joined for his brother and actually didn’t mind the work

Is touch deprived and often likes being close to people. will often hold on to peoples hands or hugs for maybe a bit to long. 

[powerfultulips]

weird asks?

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars!

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

probably something along the lines of “weird, but brilliant. also really small and tiny”

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

plastic cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

ideally, grunge

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones all the way babey

8. movies or tv shows?

not really a big fan of either

9. favorite smell in the summer?

um, like campfires and stuff

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

didn’t really have p.e. in school, but i always liked kickball and dodgeball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a spoonful of peanut butter, along with my meds

12. name of your favorite playlist?

either “h” or “oliver!”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring i guess

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

smarties?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

hamlet, probably. if you’re looking for a novel, a prayer for owen meany.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

the comfy one

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have these shitty dad shoes (air monarchs) that i wear a lot. mostly because i keep them tied, and i often don’t feel like tying another pair of shoes when i go out. so they’re basically slip-ons

18. ideal weather?

70 degrees, mostly cloudy, maybe a light rain, or a soft breeze

19. sleeping position?

i usually sleep on my right side, but sometimes i roll over to my left

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

depends what i’m writing, but i like notebooks and my laptop

21. obsession from childhood?

quite a few. gas stations, legos, baseball, phineas and ferb

22. role model?

not sure i have one, i look up to all of my friends in different ways

23. strange habits?

i chew on my knuckles a lot, it’s a nervous stim i’ve had since i was young. dunno if i have any others

24. favorite crystal?

um.... the pretty ones

25. first song you remember hearing?

i have no fuckin idea my guy. maybe 99 luftballons

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

exist in an air-conditioned room

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

put a hoodie on and go for a walk

28. five songs to describe you?

“your heart is a muscle the size of your fist” by ramshackle glory; “after you” by good morning; “dip you in honey” by the wombats; “i’m against the government” by defiance, ohio; “new loved ones” by toro y moi

29. best way to bond with you?

probably helping me out when i’m in a bad situation

30. places that you find sacred?

dunno that there are any, really

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

karkat t-shirt, black jeans (that unfortunately don’t fit me anymore), probably some cute socks

32. top five favorite vines?

hang on i have a list. mychael with a B, this bitch empty YEET, the AA-AAA-AAAA battery one, bbq sauce on my titties, and “is that allowed?”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

i. what does that mean

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none, fuck capitalism

35. average time you fall asleep?

probably like 2am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

i. have no idea

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suited case

38. lemonade or tea?

tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

pieeee

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

one time a teacher set a dollar bill on fire, i think. i wasn’t there. also a bat got into the bathroom once or twice

41. last person you texted?

my sweet, precious baby boy @literally-an-envelope

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

p a n t

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!!!!

44. favorite scent for soap?

vaniwwa

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi perhaps?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

i usually sleep in a tshirt and pj pants

47. favorite type of cheese?

pepperjack probably. i had a dream about gouda last night, though

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a blackberry. idk

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“All people are good for something. The important thing is finding what.” (Tom, MLB Power Pros 2008)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

fuck if i know dude

51. current stresses?

is “everything” an answer

52. favorite font?

helvetica

53. what is the current state of your hands?

slightly sweaty

54. what did you learn from your first job?

sprite with grenadine.... tasty

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk bro

56. favorite tradition?

my family usually goes to chuck e cheese on new years eve. its fun

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

bold of you to assume i’ve overcome anything

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, singing, pitching (baseball), and punting (football)

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

y’know, like nya?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

slice-of-life, or a sports anime

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

shrugs

62. seven characters you relate to?

are these all gonna be homestuck characters? probably. karkat, tavros, kanaya, dave, john/june, jade, and kankri. ok those are just my favourites but fuck you

63. five songs that would play in your club?

i’d probably have a really chill “club” that just played like, indie music from bands i like

64. favorite website from your childhood?

poptropica

65. any permanent scars?

yeah i have a few, although they’re fading and healing, idk if they will be on my skin forever.

66. favorite flower(s)?

i like tulips

67. good luck charms?

stuffed animals

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

black liquorice

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

fun fact! why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food

70. left or right handed?

right, but i swing left

71. least favorite pattern?

idk

72. worst subject?

like in school? physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

shrugs aggressively

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i have no clue

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

probably fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

shrug

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

neither?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

school id, i think

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

ain’t those the same thing

82. pc or console?

i guess i prefer console, but most of my games are on my laptop

83. writing or drawing?

writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts, i guess?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

shrugs

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies !

87. your greatest fear?

losing my loved ones

88. your greatest wish?

am i allowed to say “to be dead”

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my fiancé, for sure

90. luckiest mistake?

i.... don’t know

91. boxes or bags?

🅱️oxen

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

sunlight!!

93. nicknames?

yeah

94. favorite season?

spring

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr, or discord

96. desktop background?

something from homestuck. it’s terezi

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

four (mine, dad, mom, fiancé)

98. favorite historical era?

i don’t know that i have one

[merrybrides]

13 Fun Summer Rehearsal Dinner Ideas

Your rehearsal dinner will set the tone for your wedding weekend, and choosing an unexpected activity, location, or menu is a sure way to get your guests into the celebratory spirit! For most people, summer is about getting outdoors, being active, and hanging out with friends. So, we think it’s only fitting your summer rehearsal dinner have one, if not all, of those elements! There are countless ways to get your wedding weekend started, but here are 13 of our all-time favorite summer rehearsal dinner ideas that would be perfect for any style, any budget, and any size crowd!

OUTDOOR BARBEQUE

Is there a more classic combination than summer and barbeque? We don’t think so! That’s why an outdoor barbeque continues to be a favorite summer rehearsal dinner idea for low-key couples, families on a budget, or anyone who simply loves to eat BBQ. Set up some picnic tables in your backyard or in a park, add pretty centerpieces, simple place settings, and some lighting if it will be a nighttime dinner — think cafe lights strung through the trees or candles on every table. You can either cater food from your favorite BBQ joint or have someone work the grill. Add some lawn games or other activities to give your guests a reason to get up and mingle, and you’re all set for a night of classic summer fun!

TACOS & TEQUILA

Maybe it’s our Texas roots showing — or maybe it’s just that everyone loves tacos — but if there is something that screams summer more than an outdoor barbeque, it’s a fiesta with tacos and tequila! It’s one of the simplest yet most delicious meals with hundreds of different variations that can satisfy even the pickiest eaters. For a rehearsal dinner with more than 15-20 people, hiring a food truck is the way to go. It gives people options without putting the burden of cooking for a large group on anyone in the group. If you’re expecting a smaller crowd, though, we love the idea of a make-your-own taco buffet with all the fixing, chips, salsa, and queso. Rent a margarita machine for the night, and you’ve got yourself a fiesta!

ICE CREAM SOCIAL

An ice cream social has to be the sweetest (pun intended!) summer rehearsal dinner idea we’ve heard! Not only will it help guests beat the heat, but it’s a totally unexpected treat that everyone will love. Grab a few pints of your favorite flavors, make your own ice cream at home, or hire an ice cream truck for the night! Then create a build-your-own bar with candy, sprinkles, fresh fruit, chocolate sauce, caramel, and maybe some salty items for guests who love the sweet-salty combo. If you want to take it to the next level for your adult guests, set up an adult milkshake and float station where they can add their choice of liquor.

CAMP-INSPIRED PICNIC IN THE PARK

A picnic in the park is always a fun, super casual idea, but we love the idea of adding a theme to make it extra special for a rehearsal dinner. Because it is summer, you can’t go wrong with a camp theme that allows guests to feel one with nature and bring back some of those nostalgic summer camp days. Lay down blankets and pillows in the grass, set up small boho-inspired tents or umbrellas so guests can get some shade, and provide lots of cold beverages. You could even plan a few group games, like horseshoes or charades, to help guests get to know each other.

SEAFOOD BOIL ON THE BEACH

Shrimp, clams, sausage, potatoes, corn, sun, sand…yes to all of the above! If you live near a beach or are having a destination beach wedding, there’s no better way to get your guests into the spirit than with a seafood boil. Check your area for companies who provide all-inclusive services to set up, cook, and clean up to make your life easy. Or make it a multi-hour event with friends or family who know how to boil seafood and invite the rest of your guests to join when it’s time to eat. Just be sure to let them know to wear casual attire that they don’t mind getting a little messy. Check the beach rules to see if you can have a bonfire and, if you can, you should definitely end the evening with s’mores.

YACHT COCKTAIL PARTY

If you’re fortunate enough to have access to a yacht, why not make use of it for your summer rehearsal dinner? On your invitations, ask guests to dress in comfortable but nice attire and set sail a few hours before sunset. This will give you and your guests time to mingle, enjoy delicious cocktails, and watch the sunset over the water. Provide one or two signature cocktails for the evening and don’t forget a few snacks, such as meat and cheese boards, mini sliders, or shrimp cocktail.

BACKYARD GAME NIGHT

If you’re looking for a super low-key option for your summer rehearsal dinner, a game night is great but a backyard game night is even better to enjoy that summer weather! For a large group, have a few different game stations set up — board games on the patio, lawn games in the grass — and have a plan for getting guests to rotate between them. Order pizzas, set out bowls of chips, pretzels, and veggies with dip, and buy a few cases of beer and bottles of wine. Guests won’t be expecting anything fancy for an at-home game night, which means you can spend more time enjoying their company in a super low-key setting.

LATE-NIGHT DESSERT BAR

There’s no rule that dinner has to be part of a rehearsal dinner — it’s really just the traditional name we’ve given the event. So, if your guests are getting in late in the evening, plan a late-night get together with a variety of desserts instead. You could set this up at a local coffee shop or even at your home. Simply provide a variety of your favorite desserts, such as brownies, cookies, pies, or chocolates, and a few non-sweet items for guests who might not have a sweet tooth.

FONDUE PARTY

Fondue parties are fun all year round but they make for a great summer rehearsal dinner idea because they can be so informal and casual. Rather than a sit-down meal, set up one or two stations with different cheeses, bread, meat, potatoes, and veggies. Provide a couple of different wines that pair with the cheeses you select, and make sure to have plenty of extra napkins and fondue skewers on hand. If you want to add dessert, bring out the chocolate fondue later in the evening, and provide berries, marshmallows, graham crackers, and bite-size brownies for guests to dip. This would also be a great time to bring out a dessert wine or nightcap to ease your guests into the rest of their evening.

BEER TASTING

If you and your fiance are really into beer or you have lots of craft breweries nearby, a beer tasting is a great option for a summer rehearsal dinner. Most breweries can handle large groups, but make sure you call ahead to ensure space and availability for the day you choose. If a lot of your out-of-town guests have never tried your local craft beer or are new to beer drinking, this would also be a great time to book a brewery tour for the entire group to learn the ins and outs of the process! For couples who prefer a more personal rehearsal dinner experience, have a DIY beer tasting at your home instead. Choose a variety of your favorite brews, stock up on cups, and let your guests do side-by-side tastings of all your favorites.

ROOFTOP LOUNGE PARTY

Downtown dwellers might not have yards or parks that can accommodate a rehearsal dinner group, but they do have what most suburban areas don’t: a rooftop. If you can’t take your guests out to a green space, take them up to look out over the city with a chic rooftop lounge party. Set up cocktail tables they can stand around and lounge areas where they can sit, and keep the space open so they feel free to move around and mingle. Create the mood with background music to drown out the city noise and provide the same signature cocktails and finger foods you would at a traditional cocktail party. Because rooftops evoke a swankier vibe, make sure to tell your guests to dress for the occasion and opt for elevated (but simple) details, such as well-designed floral centerpieces, gold or rose gold utensils, nice plates, and real wine glasses rather than plastic or paper.

OUTDOOR MOVIE NIGHT

A rehearsal dinner should speak to your personalities just as much — if not even more — than your actual wedding. So, for the movie buffs and cinephiles, we can’t think of anything better than a movie night under the stars! If you have access to an inflatable screen, that’s amazing. If not, simply hang a sheet between trees or on a free-standing frame or project the movie on a solid-color, unobstructed area of your house. Set up lawn chairs, bean bags, pillows, and blankets in the yard for guests to lounge on. And no movie watching party is complete without the classic foods: popcorn, candy, sodas, pickles, nachos, and pretzels. You could even take it up a notch with a top-your-own popcorn bar with various toppings, such as flavored salts, flavored olive oil, seasonings, or even candies for those sweet-n-salty fans.

AL FRESCO BREAKFAST FOR DINNER

Last, but certainly not least, is the trusty breakfast for dinner option! For summer, you should definitely consider making it an al fresco affair. We love the idea of creating a classic, elegant dinner party setup with tea lights, floral centerpieces, nice place settings, and pretty linens to set the mood, but then serving classic breakfast favorites to keep the overall vibe casual and fun. For food, think family-style dining with egg casseroles, stacks of mini pancakes, plates of bacon, and a variety of pastries that can be easily passed and shared. For drinks, keep the theme going with customizable Bloody Mary’s or mimosas. End the evening with coffee and donut holes, and you’ve got yourself the perfect breakfast for dinner party!

[rabbitcruiser]

National Hot Dog Day

The sun is out, you’re at the amusement park, and the rollercoaster is filling the air with the clack-clack-clack of wheels on rails. The scent of a thousand different fair foods fill the air, but one stands out above all the rest. It’s rich, it’s savory, it’s the smell of a thousand mysterious meat products put into one delicious sausage casing, broiled up on a flame grill, and sent out on a bun with all the fixings. Hot Dog Day celebrates this most delicious and tantalizing of treats, and its extensive history!Learn about Hot Dog DayA lot of people are going to have fond memories of eating hot dogs. For some people, this reminds them of some of the fairs and fetes that they used to go to when they were younger. For others, it may remind them of the barbecues that they used to have with their families. Or, maybe a hot dog is always your go-to snack when you go to a football or basketball game? There is no denying that hot dogs are tasty, yet we can’t eat them every day, as they’re not exactly bursting with nutrients. That’s why Hot Dog Day is the perfect excuse for you to indulge in this treat.

A hot dog is simply a steamed or grilled sausage sandwich whereby the sausage is typically served within a finger bun, which is partially sliced to fit the sausage inside. The sausage used is a frankfurter or a wiener, which is a Vienna sausage.

Hot dog condiments and preparation vary regionally. For example, some of the typical garnishes include olives, bacon, coleslaw, grated cheese, chili, jalapenos, sauerkraut, onions. Typical condiments include cheese sauce, relish, mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard.

History of Hot Dog Day

Given the Hot Dog Day is an international event, where it begins and who sponsors it tends to vary by region. In the USA it’s primarily the industry partners that participate in promoting it, whereas in other countries around the world it may be historical organizations celebrating the role it played in their history.

Did you know that the Frankfurter was named for the Germany city of Frankfurt, where it was said to originate? Well now you do! There’s even multiple varieties of Hot Dogs! The original hot dogs came in a natural casing, which in case you didn’t know were made from the small intestines of sheep. Intestines were regularly used for making all kinds of sausages, hotdogs included!

Then you have skinless hotdogs, in order to hold them together they’re cooked in a cellulose casing that gets taken off when they get packaged. Since cellulose is kosher and cheaper than kosher intestine, this is often how the frankly (heh heh) delicious Kosher Hot Dogs are often made.

Hot Dog Day is celebrated all over, and if you’ve ever enjoyed a warm hot frank at a summer BBQ, then you’re no doubt celebrating too!

How to Celebrate Hot Dog Day

The best way is to serve yourself up a great meal with hot dogs! Our personal favorite is the old classic, home-made mac and cheese served with slices of hot dog in it. We also really enjoy hot dogs in our chili, that’s if we don’t have a bun to make a classic chili dog.

Get all your friends together in your backyard and encourage them to bring their favorite frankfurters and condiments. Share stories of your first hot-dog, and all the memories you have around this classic summertime treat. There’s something about a hot dog with the slight char that comes from being grilled that always has us waiting for Hot Dog Day.

If you really do want to do something a bit different on Hot Dog Day, why not join a hot dog eating contest? If you think that you are going to be able to eat a lot of hot dogs within a specified period of time, you never know; you could end up being the champion!

However, we better warn you that there are people who enter eating contests for a living, and they train their bodies specifically for the task, so you’re going to be up against some stiff competition. Nevertheless, this can certainly be a fun and unusual thing to do, and you’re going to get to eat some hot dogs in the process, so everyone’s a winner, right?

If you take a look online, you will be able to see any food-eating contests that are going in your area. Of course, you could decide to host your own hot dog eating contest, between friends and family. This will certainly be a fun way to spend the day, and you will have more chance of winning. You could get everyone to pay an ‘entry-fee’ and this could be the prize fund for the winner.

Another way to celebrate Hot Dog Day is by making your own hot dog creation. Hot dogs are typically served with ketchup, mustard, and onions, depending on your taste.

However, why not have fun experimenting with different toppings, to see what sort of creations you can come up with? There are so many different options, including crumbled gorgonzola, baked beans, grilled pineapple, pickled green beans, caramelized onions, and much more. You don’t know until you try it!

Crispy bacon is another popular one. Or, why not go for something completely unusual and out-of-the-box? You never know, you may be able to come up with the next big thing in hot dogs! If you do, be sure to share a photo on Instagram to get everyone’s mouth drooling!

Source

[sgnyibo]

‘ello! i’m sera, residing in eet aka gmt+2, online during odd hours, fulltime dumb, a disastrous adult–- i haven’t been a part of a tumblr rp in literally ages omg i’m very nervous but also vvvery excited!! anyway, yibo’s about page is here, but i’ve also added some extras and general plot ideas and such under the cut ( aka i rly tried ajdhfbdf ...) and if you’d like to plot, hit that like button! also getting back to everyone's messages soon, slowpoke style :’)))) ♡

he remembers his life in fragments: luoyang, beijing, seoul

had quite an ordinary childhood; mom was strict with his upbringing whilst dad was more like the opposite

gave his parents a lot of worry lines and headaches

adventurous but clumsy kid, dedicated teenager, disastrous young adult

who says cereal isn’t actual food, i just had a bowl for dinner

likes to eat, can’t cook

may look like he’s angry or indifferent most of the time but is actually a cinnamon roll, a little piece of shit

really uncomfortable / awkward in situations he isn’t used to or when he doesn’t know what to do

not a good person to ask serious advice from, really. need to attend a dinner party but don’t want to? fake your death

will definitely fake clueless foreigner to get out of situations

shows affection by good-natured bullying

would call you oppa just to mess with you ( he has no shame )

but actually easily flustered!!! 

uuuuhh–-

plot ideas / connections ( honestly idek.... )

you help him improve his korean and in return he helps you with chinese ( aka yibo being the lil shit that he is, keeps teaching you wrong the first time )

double trouble aka 1/2 of the dumb duo aka a close friend / best friend

customers at the car repair shop he works at

friends / acquaintances / classmates / sports team members etc

people who don’t like him / people he doesn’t like / mutual dislike

prompts, can also be used as a base for plotting and / or connections ( all of these can be altered to fit our muses!! )

‘ i know i keep coming to the cookie shop ( or any shop / cafe!!! ) and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me i need these for my sanity ‘ 

‘ it’s 3 am and i’m still in the library studying and i’m losing my grip on reality and i think i just saw a ghost ‘

‘ you’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3 am and i’m angry but also really hungry ‘

‘ i thought you were my friend so i slapped your ass in greeting ‘

‘ i fell asleep on your shoulder and you were too polite to move or wake me up ‘

‘ you’re the jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when i order my caffeine fix ‘

‘ we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of bbq sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and i feel really bad here let me look after you ‘

‘ is there a reason you never say my name? ‘

‘ leave me to die... no! wait! i was just being dramatic please actually help me ‘

' i don't know who you are but we keep running into each other on the street and getting into screaming arguments over the stupidest things and i'm actually looking forward to our next meeting bc you're annoying as hell but gdi you're hot as fuck and its kind of fun to argue with you '

‘ we started going home together but i was convinced i knew a faster way to your apartment / dorms so we took a wrong turn and now we're lost and drunk and a little cold ‘

“i can’t see anything” “hold on I’ll set something on fire” 

am literally up to anything basically, lets just plot aye 

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

[paleorecipecookbook]

Cook Once, Eat All Week Cookbook Review

Man. It’s been a hot minute since I did a cookbook review on my blog. And that’s mostly because I don’t look at many cookbooks. I’m always trying to come up with new recipes for you guys so cooking other people’s recipes doesn’t always fit into my schedule. But when my friend Cassy Joy of Fed and Fit told me about her cookbook Cook Once, Eat All Week, I COULDN’T WAIT to get my hands on it and get to cooking. Cassy and I have been friends for probably 5 or 6 years at this point and she’s one of the hardest working women I know. She’s passionate, kind, and she fully commits herself to everything she does. And she does A LOT. When you open up this cookbook, you’ll know exactly what I mean. She has gone above and beyond in this book, all to make cooking easier than ever.

So here’s the breakdown of the book – The idea is you’ll have one prep day to get all your main ingredients ready to go – a protein, veggie and a starch – then you can make multiple different meals throughout the week with those three main ingredients. And the book gives you 26 weeks of recipes! Each week will look a little different, but everything you make will absolutely taste delicious. I’ve made many of Cassy’s recipes over the years and everything she makes is pretty simple yet so flavorful. She makes cooking simply easy! And this book is exactly that! It’s easy to follow, easy to create and easy to eat!

Today I wanted to give you a little breakdown of what I made from her book. This isn’t a full recipe for you guys since I want to keep that in the book, but I wanted to share my experience with Week 16! Everything is laid out plain and simple to help you on prep day –

The main ingredients – Shredded Pork, Kale and Plantains

A grocery list with everything you will need for that week

Prep day instructions – this includes different cooking methods and how to store the ingredients after you prep them

3 recipes for the week – in Week 16, you’ll find Al Pastor Pizzas, Greek Pork Chili, and Caribbean Plantain Bowls

2 bonus dinner options + the ingredients in case you need extra food that week

As soon as I saw Cassy make her Al Pastor Pizza on her instagram story with a crust made simply from plantains, I KNEW I would be making this recipe right away! And it was delicious! The pizza is topped with the shredded pork, an adobo sauce, pineapple, red onion and ALL the cilantro. Cassy is just as obsessed with cilantro as I am and I adore her for that. People who don’t like cilantro are the worst. Including my husband.

Kidding. Calm down.

But if you’re crazy and Al Pastor Pizzas don’t call your name, here are some of the other recipes you’ll find inside. I seriously cannot wait to try them out!

Loaded Cauliflower Casserole

Buffalo Chicken Stuffed Avocados

Cottage Pie

BBQ Mini Meatloaves with Carrot Fries

Philly Cheesesteak Loaded Fries

Red Curry Acorn Squash Soup with Crispy Beef

Harvest Sheet Pan Dinner

Southwestern Stuffed Sweet Potatoes

Sweet Potato Tamale Pie

Swedish Meatballs over Mashed Potatoes

Chipotle Brisket Tacos with Green Apple Slaw

And in the back of the book, you’ll also find simple supplemental recipes (bonus dinners) for any nights when you need extra food in a pinch. In this chapter, you’ll find protein recipes, veggie recipes and starch recipes. Some of my favorite include Crispy Curried Chicken Thighs, Pan Seared Steak, Lemon-Garlic Shrimp, Crispy Brussels Sprouts, Lemony Kale, Pan-Fried Plantains, and Roasted Carrots. All these simple recipes make getting dinner on the table quick and effortless. Plus, Cassy even shares the nutritional information for every recipe in the book! She’s a freaking rockstar, you guys. I can’t emphasize that enough.

I don’t think people truly understand how time consuming and stressful creating a book is. It takes so much time, energy and money, and authors are often just left hoping that they see a return. Cassy deserves so much more than just a return. She deserves to make the NYT Best Seller list, she deserves to get recognition for her hard work, and she deserves to have an amazing book tour along the way. She deserves it all. Period. She’s a great person who has made a really great book. If you do one thing today, please go support Cassy Joy!! Her book is available for preorder and is only $22.32 right now on Amazon!! For $22, you’ll get 123 delicious recipes, sauces and spice blends, meal storage and reheating tips, how to stock your kitchen, beautiful photos, nutritional facts, allergen charts, and a ton of other helpful tips! Her book releases on April 23rd, but preordering the book helps her chances of making NYT Best Seller! Let’s increase her chances together today by preordering her book!! I can’t say enough about this book and I can’t wait for you guys to see it! Click here to preorder your copy today and help support an amazing woman doing amazing things!!

The post Cook Once, Eat All Week Cookbook Review appeared first on PaleOMG.com.

Sourse of this article: http://paleomg.com/

[art-of-manliness]

15 Homemade Gifts You Can Make in an Hour or Less

Anyone can open their wallet and plop down cash for a nice present. But the gifts that mean the most are the ones people make for you; knowing someone spent their time crafting something just for you is truly special. Plus, in a very consumeristic culture, many homemade gifts can be made on the cheap and help you cross numerous people off your list without going into debt. But maybe you think you’ve waited too long to figure out what you’re getting for friends and family, and don’t have time to make your own gifts for them. Good news — you do if you choose one of the 15 DIY gift ideas below. Each of these “projects” is easy to do and requires just an hour or less in active time. Keep in mind that some of the projects may require some additional non-active time (like for letting infused vodkas steep or candles sit overnight to harden), as well as supplies that may need to be ordered ahead of time (many of which are available on Amazon Prime for 2-day shipping).  While the items on the list are largely aimed at male recipients, some can be enjoyed by the ladies as well. So if you’re in need of an inexpensive, last-minute gift idea, choose an option or two, and whip up some thoughtful, homemade presents for all the deserving people in your life.  Spice Blend/BBQ Rub Cooking outside is one of the great pleasures in life — especially when your grub turns out savory and delicious. While salt and pepper are often all you need to grill a great meat, you can enhance the outdoor cooking experience by using personally created spice blends that will become signature flavor profiles in your home. If your friends have praised your BBQ pork butt, and wanted to know your secret spice rub, gift it to them for Christmas.  BBQ Sauce While a good BBQ spice rub (see above) is usually more important to achieving lip-smacking taste, many backyard grilling enthusiasts also love to slather a sauce on their fire-cooked meats. Be it as a marinade or a sandwich topping, the right sauce can really enhance the flavor of just about any of your BBQ favorites. Pre-bottled sauces are alright, but take your pal’s grilling up a notch by gifting any of these 3 homemade BBQ sauces.  Six-Pack Pocket Notebook  The benefits of a pocket notebook are numerous, as are the number of great men who’ve utilized them. This project is cost-effective, only takes about 20 minutes, and allows for ample personalization for the fellow you’re making these for. Pick a favorite brew or craft soda, and turn it into a handy-dandy notebook that actually fits in a back pocket. No-Sew Pocket Square Every suit needs a pocket square. It helps a gentleman add some personality to his style. They can get expensive, though, costing anywhere from $10-$30. Isn’t it just a piece of fabric? Indeed it is! Which is why you can make your own handsome pocket square for a fraction of that. And there’s no sewing required, to boot! The secret? Hem tape. With some cheap hem tape and an iron, turn any square of fabric into a pocket square for the dapper gent in your life. Container Candle Candles can add a masculine or romantic ambiance (depending on what you’re going for) to any room, and can truly be very meditative and thought-provoking. The downside, though, is that they’re dang expensive. A high-quality 6oz candle can run you $20-$30, and even more if it has a luxury or “artisanal” brand name attached to it. Homemade candles, on the other hand, cost just a few bucks each, smell and burn just as well as the expensive ones, and make for a fairly easy project that can be done in around an hour of active time (though it takes from a few hours to overnight for the wax to fully settle). They make for great additions to a workspace or den, and fit nicely into any stocking! Book Clock From pocket watches to grandfather clocks, men have long held a fascination with keeping time in stylish and classic ways. What better way to do so than turning a handsome hardcover book into a working clock? Coming in at around $10, this makes for a great DIY Christmas gift for a fella to decorate an apartment or man room with. Bottle Drinking Glass If you enjoy craft beer, what better way to imbibe than out of a drinking glass made from your favorite brew bottle? What’s great about this project is how versatile it is. Use 12oz bottles to create a set of tasting glasses, use 22oz bottles to make more of a standard tumbler, or even use mini bottles as shot glasses. It’s cheap, fast, and uses items that can be found in most households. And did I mention you get to play with fire? Beard Oil Just as the hair on one’s head needs to be taken care of, so does the hair on one’s face. While beard oil can be found at many men’s grooming shops and online just about everywhere, it’s spendy. You’re looking at paying between $10-$20 for a 1-2 oz. bottle (you only use a few drops at a time). While that amount will last awhile, you can make it on your own a little more cost effectively, and even concoct your own holiday-themed recipes. While the startup costs are similar to buying a bottle or two, you’ll get at least a dozen bottles from your DIY supplies, and get to easily cross the names of all your bearded brethren off your shopping list. Flavored Toothpicks While chewing on toothpicks is enjoyable on its own, you can make it an even better experience by flavoring them. While flavored toothpicks have started to show up in retail environments, they’re going to be far more expensive than just making them at home. Makes for an excellent stocking stuffer.  Wooden Bottle Opener These handsome and rustic handmade bottle openers make great gifts for the craft beer or soda connoisseur in your life. Not only do they open bottles, but thanks to an embedded magnet they even catch your bottle cap as you remove it and stick to your fridge for easy access. You could easily make one out of scrap wood that you have lying around the garage or shop — this is a truly frugal crowd-pleaser. Beef Jerky Beef jerky is a great manly stocking stuffer. Homemade beef jerky is even better. Check out this recipe from Tim Ferriss on how to make the best beef jerky in the world. Experiment with different spices to create a unique flavor perfect for your recipient’s palate. Altoids Tin Kits The draw of the transformed Altoids tin is hard to put your finger on. Part of it is the satisfying challenge of fitting as much as possible into a small space. Part of it is the delight of being able to carry something cool in your pocket. No matter what it is that makes for the allure of a re-used Altoids tin, there are fortunately a ton of ways to channel it, including the 22 we outline here. Any of the kits on that list would make an awesome gift or stocking stuffer. My favorite is the survival kit pictured above. As a bonus, most kits only require assembling supplies — no skill needed! Roasted Coffee For the coffee connoisseur, this is one of the best gifts you can give. Buying some green beans from a local roastery or online is often cheaper than buying coffee at the grocery store. Plus, this is just about guaranteed to be the best coffee your recipient will ever drink. Might take a couple tries to get the roasting done just right, but even then your total time investment is under an hour.  Vodka Infusion Flavored liquors have been around a long time. But they can be spendy, and the flavors are obviously limited to what you’ll find in the store. With a DIY infusion, the flavors are limited only by your imagination — and willingness to try quirky new things.  Vodka is the ideal spirit for making infusions, and a single 1.75L bottle will net you a few 375ml gifting bottles to give out. You can either make unique flavors for each person you’re gifting to, or make a big batch of a single flavor each year that everyone gets. Either way, this is a project that’s just as fun to make as it is to give.  All-in-One Cocktail Kit In recent years, pre-packaged travel cocktail kits have emerged which allow people to mix up their favorite drinks when they’re cruising at 35,000 feet. But they’re quite overpriced, and only offer the ingredients for a single kind of cocktail. So instead of buying the retail version, make a DIY all-in-one kit that contains just about everything your recipient would need to make a variety of in-flight drinks. From Gin & Tonics, to Old Fashioneds, to Hot Toddys, this kit does it all.   The post 15 Homemade Gifts You Can Make in an Hour or Less appeared first on The Art of Manliness. http://dlvr.it/Qtd60F

[thatdamnokie]

today, i watched rocknrolla for the first time and kept a running tab of live commentary which can be found below the cut and is a stupid amount of ridiculous and will not make ANY sense unless you’ve also seen rocknrolla and like--have some vague memory of how the movie happens because this was all pretty much stream-of-consciousness or whatever.

yoooo i dig the opening song. okay. off to a good start.

for real thought the dark castle logo was hogwarts fml

is that… mark’s voice?

who is this muscular motherfucker?

LOOK AT THAT FUCKING BONG PIPE THING

that’s as tall as a toddler what the fuck

look at all these people in this movie!

THAT WAS MARK

mr. strong ladies and gentleman

… wait lenny looks super familiar, what else have i seen him in.

this all seems very complicated.

idris and gerard!

counselor’s cute too

why is everyone in this movie so fucking cute

WHERE ELSE HAVE I SEEN THIS GUY

every time mark speaks i jump

wait is that—gerard’s actual accent?

lenny, you are a terrifying dude.

and mark i want to ruffle your hair.

archie, that profile, sweet gracious.

… fuck he’s in the background and i just can’t stop looking at him.

this all sounds very, very complicated.

he calls him “len” omg

“do i look like a fucking immigrant” u h m

okay so pretty sure i don’t like lenny, they should just let archie be the leader

enter the russiannnsss

your sweater is dumb russian guy

i like his accent though

guys i don’t know enough about real estate hustling to be able to explain this to another person

aw sweet russian sweater man giving him his painting

… wait no camera man show me the painting

“whiskey is the new vodka” sure yuri whatever you say

lenny i can shoot whiskey better than you can you fucking bitch

dude you can’t hold your sauce can you?

archie

archie help him

fuck he is so handsome

that jawline

“famous archie smile” I WANNA SEE

dude you need to be nicer to people when whiskey makes you that sweaty?

… i’m sorry but i think i could outdrink arch’s boss???

bless whoever made mark narrator

yooooo stella!

i like her!

dude she looks boss as fuck

“i don’t feel like smiling”

dude a marriage of convenience where you don’t have regular sex sounds awful

“welcome to the—speeler?” did he say speeler?

tom!

some of the names in the opening credits didn’t look familiar but these faces do.

wait is gerard gay or was he making a joke?

that. accent. gracious.

just picture that growling in your ear. fuck, i want a british boyfriend guys. i mean it.

i like the color scheme of all this like everything’s—muted, but still classy?

okay i dig 1-2 and stella’s broship.

can you imagine just calling him twelve to save time

“just a black eye, nothing more.”

dude she has louboutins! or something like them! the ones with the red bottoms, i’m probably misspelling it.

hanging out at the country club. very classy.

arch, you’re all limbs.

… you’re also scary.

duuuuude he has a way of talking that just makes me nervous. like an undercurrent of a threat, things implied…

“in there like swimwear” i’m stealing that.

duuuuude lenny’s robe though?

i got office envy! look at that desk.

WHO FALLS BACKWARDS IN THEIR CHAIR

oh shit they took the painting

… that i still don’t know what it looks like, guys let me see it

len you are boned.

“and archie’s gonna have to go… to work.”

he is literally the tallest dude in every shot.

is he giving him slapping lessons rn.

… yes he is.

oh

oh

oh no

JESUS

ARCHIE

we do NOT HIT PEOPLE

gracious.

i’m torn because on one hand, that would probably really fucking hurt, his hands are probably as big as my fucking face

on the other hand—would i let mark strong slap me?

… maybe.

“but you keep the receipts because this ain’t the mafia”

idrisssss

fuck if he smiled at me like that i’d do whatever he said too

“everybody have fun tonight! <3” :D EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT

“now fuck off”

oh twelve

ugh all the style in this movie.

wardrobe goals.

i want that bag.

“… maybe.” bro you said that like you wanted the d, and i can’t say i blame you.

i like how yuri says london.

for a split second i thought that was tom holland???

ohhhhh what’s gonna happen now!

does everyone just like—drive mark around in these movies

OMG it’s the same money

this shit is hysterical

i want to mess his hair up. because if we were in public he’d probably hate it and tbh i’d be too scared to do it but maybe privately…

guys… i feel like i’d fit into the uk.

ohhhhh an INFORMANT

… oh that dude is cute!

oh that dude is CRAZY

oh, drugs, right. these are the drugs i do not do.

his name is TWELVE archie

see, he’s so good at being quietly threatening

his laugh is so… <3

i think ship stella and yuri—

oh FUCK i forgot she was married

he’s also gay as shit, yuri

dude she just got so sad…

“you devil”

oh duuuuuude

you want that v so bad and it is so obvious

they both have nice hands.

poor bob. :(

twelve you sweet scottish bastard.

OH

UHM

OKAY

that’s a twist.

twelve noooo

dude be cool

DUDE

DUDE THIS IS NOT HOW YOU HANDLE THIS

CALM DOWN

oh my god

duuuuude, twelve.

dude.

bob. bob honey i am so sorry.

is he crying? T.T

TWELVE DO SOMETHING

“no I’M FUCKING SORRY”

YEAH WELL YOU SHOULD BE

a—a poof?

is ‘poof’ a bad word?

guys i don’t know anything about british slang.

bob honey relax…

ohhhhh i’m not sure if that was a smart question to ask right that second.

archie, you’re so classy and wonderful and probably wouldn’t freak out on people like that. probably.

this van gentleman is so delightful ( i am so bad at names rn )

so his nickname is van gentleman.

TANK

there we go.

i like this broship.

in which arch continues to be all. fucking. leg.

OH SHIT

i was NOT PREPARED

“like most things american they’ve eaten the natives” i mean…

i really like his comparison of the crayfish and greed, but like… i also really want bbq now… (have you HAD bbq crayfish? shit’s delicious.)

also HOLY SHIT was not expecting them to be stuck on him like leeches? that’s terrifying.

archie has like—this hidden mercy about him… like he got a weird look on his face and i couldn’t tell if it had to do with the quid dude or putting the other guy back in with the crayfish.

it’s his STEPSON?

ohhhhh an american!

oh he is handsome.

mickey. <3

what else have i seen this rocker dude in…

“ladies of the pole”

mickey’s hat ftw

oh this fedora guy is cute.

JUNE

i love that name AND her bangs!

this movie was a phenomenal soundtrack

aaannnddd definitely thought that dude was masturbating for a second

wait is that the guy from the beginning?

LENNY

... wwwooooowwww

lenny is an ASSHOLE

LENNY

johnny, johnny honey you do not deserve this

why is this movie full of people who deserve better than they got???

LENNY don’t you DARE

that is NOT OKAY

FUCK YOU

gosh, kid, bless your heart…

SHOW ME THIS FUCKING PAINTING

there are so many different accents in this movie and all it’s doing is confirming the fact that i never left my “i want a boyfriend with a nice voice” phase

“guns nuns and cowboys” idk what this bonanza thing is but i’m in

johnny you are very scary and i’m sorry that your stepdad made you like this.

dude stop touching june?

“it’s tasty and exotic—a bit like your june.” lenny you’re disgusting.

that’s an intense line of questioning, lenny.

this fucking painting.

ARCHIE

STOP FUCKING WITH THE MICROPHONE

oh my god

i literally just want him to never stop talking

omg bob.

dude twelve looks piiiiiiissed.

i think… i missed a part of the plot.

guys i want to be a part of this world but i’m only able to say that because no one’s very asked me to like… torture someone.

or sleep with someone gross.

victor you handsome bastard.

russian is such a guttural language i love it

FUCK YOU LENNY

at least you’re getting better at shooting your whiskey? fucking asshole.

like i like him less and less because he’s just GROSS you guys

jk could still outdrink him.

if you touch archie lenny i will reach through his screen and rip your face off.

i really wouldn’t be threatening someone who could snap you in half but okay

who the hell is cookie?

COOKIE

you look like a one-many party

omg where are your pants

cookie

cookie i love you you disaster of a man

omg i want to be invited to one of these parties

like just let me relax in a corner with an old fashioned and a cute boy

OHHH THEY FUCKED

OH

OKAY

that explains a lot

dude bob that’s—okay but like they thought he was going to prison, that was just an accident

wait does archie know?

dude stella i want to be your friend so you can help me with my wardrobe

… twelve. twelve what are you doing.

stella looks so fucking unimpressed

YEAH BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING

dude, stella, girl, i’m sorry

at least one of you can dance

oh bertie you gay as shit

stella why did you marry this man

i like this closed captioning thing they’re doing.

who. is. the. informant.

“and remember—i *am* dangerous.” yes you are baby.

bertie you are so awkward

bob. bobby no. D:

BOB

oh bertie don’t act like you didn’t like getting bossed around i saw it in your face

y’all he is fucking ENAMORED

i’d go see this guy live.

that bouncer wasn’t fucking around. one hit knockouts.

… john. johnny. what are you doing

JOHNNY DO NOT STAB THE BOUNCER

HE IS MAKING ME SO NERVOUS

HOLY SHIT

JOHNNY

ALL RIGHT COOL LET’S JUST SHANK THE BOUNCER

johnny you are batshit crazy

“fucking mutt” wait, what does that mean?

mumbles is a handsome man.

ohhhh this is an awkward conversation.

“made a pass.” right.

ohhhh. oh he knows.

twelve, dude, i’m sorry.

he looks so uncomfortable.

but hey like this means they didn’t fuck so that’s a thing?

boooob, sweetheart. <3

they’re all such good mixes of good and evil.

except lenny. fuck lenny.

ooooo that lady has pretty hair.

oh wait THAT’S cookie?

then who was pantsless homie?

this movie has such a big cast and i can keep track of like four people.

this club lounge place looks cool though.

he helped him get off the rock? that’s pretty rad.

p.s. this movie has a great soundtrack tbh.

all the same kiddos maybe just stick to weed and the occasional hallucinogens

say no to cocaine and crack

oh, johnny. :(

buddy.

holy SHIT this guy’s scars though!

DUDE

how many scars do these russian guys HAVE

… ADJNSJANSOAPSLKKJADSM

TRAIN

OKAY

WAIT NO TRUCK

JESUS

… more scars i guess?

… wait i wonder if archie has scars like that?

ohhhhh noooo yuri.

yuri did your friends die?

LENNY you’re racist and i do not like you.

oooohhhh why do i feel like so many bad things are gonna happen in the last part of this movie.

twelve you’re limping my baby who hurt you

… oh

OH

THAT is who hurt you

also i ship those two russian guys

i like how stella was apparently just watching the entire thing from a distance

and then has the audacity to critique him lmfao

holly shit right into a STOREFRONT

dude NONE of y’all are having a good day

this entire scene is fucking—something else

guns

knives

golf clubs

just

anything you can pick up and use as a weapon at all

WHAT THE FUCK

ARE THESE DUDES JUST INDESTRUCTIBLE

“ABANDON SHIP RUN FOR YOUR LIVES”

YEAH BITCH AGREED

OH SHIT COPS

BOB ARE YOU JUST GONNA WAVE LIKE THEY’RE YOUR BROS

THIS IS STRESSFUL

PARKOUR

bob you look like a puppy

and twelve looks like a zombie

and then there’s mumbles who just stole the coolest bike helmet i’ve ever seen

twelve, honey, you just can’t catch a break

dude russian guy is fucking RIPPED

kudos to who did the cinematography of this because it looks fucking cool

this is the slowest high-intensity chase i’ve ever seen

ripped and covered in blood. i dig it.

twelve you faker

oh hi ruskies

archie do you own any clothing that’s not black, grey or blue…?

fuck i love that jacket, but it’s so long it just makes him look even taller

LENNY

YOU NEED TO NOT BE SO FUCKING RACIST?

and get your hands off his testicles!

gracious.

everyone in this movie needs jesus.

johnny stop calling him pedro.

can…. can i see the painting please.

please.

guys.

this poor scottish guy.

yuri got cake.

johnny… sorta reminds me of freddie mercury in some of these shots? for like a few seconds at a time.

… okay so i’m full of dread between this monologue and what’s happening on the golf course.

lenny. buddy. you really got like. not do that. stop calling everyone immigrants

OH SHIT

GET HIM

GET HIM VICTOR

YOU GO BABY

this is a weird juxtaposition in terms of scenes though?

like

lenny getting his legs beat

and johnny’s super sad speech about the cigs

dude i can’t bring myself to feel bad for len.

wait where’s archie?

“and that is also why i cannot give that painting back.”

this is a set up for something really really bad.

and then they have moments where they act like dudes i know and i warm up to pete and johnny.

bobby stop fucking with that poor man. you’re gonna make him fall in love with you.

“i’m going back to bed.” “can i come?”

*smack* okay, that shit was funny.

johnny you need some chicken.

oh these motherfuckers.

… guys i wanna be a rocknrolla

lmao a protest

that flat looks disgusting.

dude you need to treat your bro better

ASJANSJASN

THEY TOOK THE PAINTING

CAN I SEE IT

LET ME SEE THIS FUCKING PAINTING

OH MY GOD THIS IS GREAT

if this movie ends without me seeing this fucking painting i’m going to kill someone

good man cookie.

TANK’S WATCHING P&P

COOKIE YOU DA REAL MVP

gerard’s laugh though

OH

… well then

like if she wasn’t so unhappy in her marriage i’d feel bad

THE INFORMANT YES TELL ME

… sydney shaw?

“where did he learn a word like pseudonym?”

awwww he likes her…

oh she likes him!

okay good because that sex didn’t look romantic at all.

“you’ve got very good taste mr. one-two.”

lenny fuck you.

you’re gonna be alive for like three more years, relax.

archie. <3 that protectiveness—even if it is for lenny.

aaannnnddd enter the russians.

what a clustfuck.

wait TWELVE

DAMNIT TWELVE

OPEN YOUR EYES

… oh you are FUCKED

ooosajdnaksdjnajsdna this is anxiety-inducing

y’all this is why drugs are bad

and then nice outside scene. birds chirping. looks like a lovely day.

oh shit ARCHIE WITH A GUN

there’s no way that twelve is still alive

what the FUCK

am i SEEING

dude archie, me too

omg ARCHIE HELP HIM

that SMILE

dude i’d laugh too

OH

OH SHIT

welp.

okay, we all figured archie was gonna kill people

put your FUCKING TONGUE BACK IN YOUR MOUTH

wait he SHOT TWELVE?

omg everything is happening at once.

wait, stella, what’d you do?

OMG

dude she looked FREAKED OUT

yuri… dude, what are you doing…?

UHM

WHAT

WAIT

WHAT IS HAPPENING

STELLA YOU LITERALLY FUCKED TWELVE LIKE A SECOND AGO

ohhhhhhhhhh

ohhhhhhh noooooo

ohhhhh NOOOOO

oh stella, honey you in danger girl

archie looks a thousand percent done and he’s been around this kid thirty seconds

wait archie was in prison?

this sydney shaw person put arch in prison…

duuuuuude younger!archie ;-;

“uncle arch” T.T

WHAT the fuck, lmao

just whipping out his gun, nbd

archie stop that. they’re babies.

johnny man you’ve—been fucked up for a while.

dude archie you look miserable.

ohhhh nobody died.

THANK YOU ARCHIE

GET HIM

i hate this entire family.

who all is about to die in this weird basement silent hill place.

… dude. johnny’s face though.

like i’ve felt like NO sympathy for lenny this entire time but i feel bad for johnny. :/

“a hot bath and a cold razor”

… dude

“because you’re poison john.”

o u c h

but like he is CRAZY

like

help i don’t know who to feel for

i feel for everyone

… except lenny

OH SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

LENNY

JESUS

DUDE

HE IS GOING TO KILL HIS OWN STEPSON

what the fuck is happening.

YES THE INFORMANT

wait.

WAIT.

IT’S FUCKING LENNY????

OH MY GOD

“you are a VERY dirty bastard sydney.”

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT

THE

FUCK

NO

STOP KILLING EVERYONE

I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

NO NO NO NO  NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO THIS ISN’T WHAT I WANTED

this is STRESSFUL

“put your hands up!”

*thud*

okay that was funny

THE BOYS!

oh, archie.

oooohhhhh… all this shit…

archie. fuck, you can hear the betrayal in his voice.

shit, this is sad.

“there is no spring without a winter. no life without death.”

… archie?

oh a time skip!

oh SHIT johnny got a GLO UP

“c’mon then give us a cuddle”

i’ll GLADLY you give you a cuddle

OH MY GOD THE PAINTING

SHOW ME

S H O W M E

… you literally put those russian guys in pieces, didn’t you archie.

you terrifying motherfucker.

GUYS I WANT TO BE IN THIS WORLD

FUCK YOU GO GET THEM JOHNNY

... wait was there supposed to be a sequel?

… WAIT

WAIT  NO

NO

YOU FUCKING SHOW ME THAT GOD DAMN PAINTING

oh my god.

fuck it.

fuck that.

nope.

like mid-credit scenes are the least y’all can do.

… wait is that tom and gerard just like fucking with each other, it might be, that’s sort of adorable.

dude that gay club looks like fun though.

i don’t dance because i’ll spill my drink but.

awwwww guys i could watch them dance forever, like, this shit is funny.

ohhhh i hope this means that archie becomes the new lenny. he’d be a much better lenny.

and now we sway to this groovy end credit music while i sit and seethe in hatred that i never saw the painting and i’m pissed about it. :))))))

… fuck.

welp, guess i’ll just have to write shit about how the fuck this dude falls in love with a cop then.