#it’s ass does NOT know how to play chess
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ten bucks guess what game im obsessed with rn
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cult of the lamb fanart#tav art#comic#art#artists on tumblr#shamura#shamura cult of the lamb#shamura cotl#i love you shammy!#the lamb#the lamb cotl#lambert#i feel like my lamb needs a name#maybe it’ll just be lamby#it’s ass does NOT know how to play chess#the lamb let’s them win btw
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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i am going to give asks every day for a unskippable cutscene i think until i either forget or you no longer want them. the long rambles are very fun to read.
im glad you like my rambles man it’s fun to just spew thoughts!! but anyway since i already mentioned chess in some earlier asks i might as well ramble about it. it is THEE game of all time to me. like … i don’t know. it’s SOOO good they made a game that is actually perfect. i might be saying that because i’m biased and it’s like the game of my childhood cuz i’ve played it since i was veryyy young. but oh my god i dont know. I sound like a snob but it is perfect intellectual stimulation. i love Thinking. i fucking love imagining how the game will go. i love predicting my opponent’s moves it’s sooo fun. sometimes i get it just right and my opponent falls for my bait and right into my mischievously set up trap and i obliterate them. soemtimes though my opponent sees through it and surprises me and i have to be like !!!!!!!! I HAVE TO THINK HARDER NOW HOLY SHIDT !!!!! sometimes chess will have you in SUCH a stump. you will be sooo stuck and unsure of what to do. it will look like a dead end. and that’s so fun to me too … there is Always some sort of way out if you try hard enough. sometimes you have to sacrifice some pieces abd you have to think whether a rook or a horse is more important to you. i love how sometimes chess games can be casual and take like 15 minutes but sometimes it’s like, the most thought consuming thing in your life and it takes hourssss. but it’s so worth it either way bc it’s either like, the satisfaction of a hard earned win or the friendly loss of a big challenge. idgaf about winning or losing i just love playing chess. and yet i do not know shit about it!! obviously i know the pieces and how they move and shit, and i’ve worked out some strategies that i tend to open with. but i’ve never watched tournaments. i don’t know the ‘pro chess moves’. my dad never bothered to teach me and i never bothered to learn. i play like a pro but i have the unpredictability of a newbie because i seriously don’tttttt know what the fuck a fork or a queen’s gambit or a Whatever is. Like you’re just making shit up at me. chess is not about strategies or pro gamer tactics it’s about pretending to be smart and becoming dr strange imagining every possible outcome of your opponent’s next move
#tangentially related but i also love cards. Cards and chess are intertwined in my head because i always played chess with my dad and i#always played cards with my mom. mixed them up sometimes but eh you know. i should rly play with my parents again sometime i think#but anyways cards is sooo good i love it. the sheer randomness of it all. you can try and predict and calculate and keep track#of which cards you and your opponent have already played. But in the end you will always be surprised by some unexpected ass trump card#it’s super fun and much easier to cheat in there than in chess. love how easy it can be to trick your opponent if they’re too focused#you can make them think your 6 of hearts is actually of diamonds. and etc etc#honestly most card games are so fun. the best summer of my life will always probably be 2020#which i know sounds ironic But i just spent so much time hanging out with my best friends. and i remember all 3 of us playing card games for#HOURS while sitting outside a kfc. telling stories and laughing at jokes#losing at cards … it was a very good summer. and then right around my birthday one of them had to move to moscow#i think that’s when things really started going downhill. it was the catalyst. domino effect. But we still keep contact#he vapes now apparently. or smokes? i think he does both . what a gay bitch#cramswering
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code geass r3!!
#and it doesn’t look bad!#actually nvm they reset the plot for some reason. complete with racism?#its like an exact beat for beat#ah they said the word terrorism#knightmare frame is still a pretty cool name#waugh im being blasted by chuuni#they still dont know how chess works#replaced jazz with rock music#bro its time for checkmate#some peasant with no name will defeat me!#your idea of a fight is to torment others from a safe distance. too bad u never got gud.#kaboom.#and checkmate!#chess is… a metaphor…#i remember your racist face#literally a play by play#gender bender is great tho love that stuff#yo gender equality#borderline ridiculous exposition#if it is the will of commander norland von luneborg#oh nevermind if there are two or more egirls its fake equality. wear shirts#gforce mention :0#why the ear canal#kallen ass appeared#but no pizza hut. very mysterious#wait she really is an egirl. complaint rescinded thats mildly funny#ripping off hiveswap tho#i like the mc but why does this series exist#we got at least one evil cackle#but mysterious dye situation
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i'm so sorry i don't want to be the "the party ended 5 years ago and he's still here" person but dark phoenix's final scene is still SO funny to me. especially to see how erik plays charles like a fiddle
like: he shows up with NO helmet AND a chess set. (he did this last time in days of the future past, and it worked, right? so it should work again, right? right???)
so, he sits, completely uninvited mind you, and he tries (and fails terribly bless his heart) at starting a normal conversation, he asks charles about his retirement, probably trying to get charles to like, talk about it or whatever
(rip erik's hairline)
charles is not having any of it, which... valid. the last time he and erik had a full conversation, erik told him to shut the fuck up
anyways, erik realizes his failed attempt at being casual did NOT work like he wanted, so he pulls out plan b - he calls charles his old friend (which, if you pay attention, in the prequels they use 'old friend' as a term to de-escalate the situation)
which WORKS, for some reason, and charles immediately deflates and gives erik the tiniest smile in existence, because erik showing he cares always seems to do it for charles lmao
(he's so embarrassing . god bless. @ x men: is this your leader)
anyhow, erik pulls out the second part of his plan b - he asks charles if he wants to play a game. still playing casual. just two buddies. just two guys. some guys. just some friends having a toootal normal n casual conversation.
and you can immediately see charles close himself up, he crosses his arms and avoids looking erik in the eye. erik managed to soften him up with the 'old friend' and having his helmet off, but it's not enough YET so erik pulls out his plan c. luckily his last one, christ, charles really does like to keep them waiting doesn't he
keep an eye on erik's entire demeanor in this scene, his position is not closed off like charles', he's open, he leans on the table, and maintains eye contact with charles. his head is tilted to one side and everything, completely harmless
i'm so obsessed with charles' microexpressions here james mcavoy you are so insane
anwyays, charles uncrosses his arms and his position does come off a little more open, but if you watch the scene you can see him shake his head. this obviously touches him - but he's probably intending to say still no. probably because he has the biggest martyr complex i've ever seen in a fictional character
so, erik pulls up his fucking plan d (lol) and hopefully this time IT WILL be the last. he pulls the pawn out of his jacket pocket.
(why the fuck is this played like a fucking romantic scene i'm so serious, why is he smiling to himself like that)
mind you, erik had the pawn in his pocket the entire time, which could mean either of two things:
charles looks surprised/confused the entire scene, but in THIS part he doesn't look confused, he just looks like he's still trying to figure out what erik is trying to do. so it either means erik makes charles play this 'guess where it's hiding' game all the time (????) which doesn't really sound likely for him to do, but erik is always begging charles to get into his head so it wouldn't surprise me if he actually did this every time. god knows he's desperate enough or
erik was expecting charles to reject his offer right away, and had multiple other plans shoved up his ass if this was the case. this also seems likely, he's obsessive enough to have thought multiple ways through.
anyways, he puts his two fists up and pulls up the most mortal sentence in existence. one he knows charles won't be able to deny him
"just ONE game 🥺 for old time's sake???? 🥺🥺🥺" man stfu you are 62 years old GET UPPPP
anyways - pay attention to his wording.
"just one game" because erik came ALLLL this way for charles, so charles might as well play ONE game with him, and then erik could be gone - if charles wanted it that way.
"for old's time sake" when things were easier and when they were more at peace - when they were on each other's side. when they were together and the mansion, just after charles had saved him and gave him a hom- oh wait
(also, there's 100% a hidden meaning here. and there’s also a 100% chance i’m reaching but idc. the pawn could be in his left hand or his right. the possibility is 50/50. the only way charles could know with 100% certainty was if he entered erik's mind - if he took up erik's offer. but he could also not get into erik's mind and just... guess and fail - by thus, not taking erik's offer. erik is giving him an out, a choice to make the first move)
(and the chess piece he offers charles a WHITE pawn. the white pieces are the first ones to move.
also also if you have paid attention to the previous movies, erik is always the one to use the white pieces, this is the first movie where we see charles play with white)
anyways, charles does struggle a bit with the choice, but ultimately he decides to accept erik's proposal and """guesses""" right.
and going from erik's... entire face and smirk lmao i'm guessing charles went into his head to get it right. mind you, this is like sex for them
charles accepts - erik is very relieved to know he's not the only one who's down horrendously. and after the worst guessing game in history (seriously, the pawn was in erik's right pocket and then he had it hidden in his right hand... man i guessed that shit and i'm not even a telepath) they start rearranging the board
so anyway, erik gives charles this look like he wants to climb him like a tree, which means that playing edward 'down embarrassingly bad' rochester in jane eyre (2011) finally fucking paid off
erik doesn't even blink mind you, and charles doesn't take his eyes off erik either way, which means they are just STARING at each other without blinking for god knows how long LMAOOO 😭😭😭
once everything is said and done, erik makes a silly little joke and charles rebuts. then erik gives him the biggest smile i've ever seen him give to someone since magda, and then he follows it up with a smaller, softer smile with no teeth
seeing this for the first time in the theater was like getting shot in the chest, no joke
mind you erik stopped trying like three minutes ago but for some reason, the first time we finally see charles soften up in the ENTIRE movie is after he sees erik smiling at him. which could mean nothing.
and the thing is: charles does have a big heart, and he means well, most of the time, but he also doesn’t necessarily has… the best way of showing it with his actions lol. erik knows this, and he knows charles has a thing for lost causes, for people the society has given up on. charles threw himself into the freezing water to save erik - even when he didn't KNOW him.
AND he also knows charles has the biggest soft spot for him, he KNOWS - because all those years ago, charles' biggest accussation wasn't "you paralyzed me" it was "you left me". because after erik lost his wife and daughter, charles rushed to find him, to make sure he was okay. because nine years ago, charles looked at apocalypse and said "fuck you you are twisting erik's grief, and you are hurting him" to A GOD BTW. TO HIS FUCKING FACE NO FUCKS GIVEN AT ALL
tldr: call erik the fucking violinist because boy he sure knows how to play charles like a fucking instrument and how to press all the right keys to get him to say yes to him. he gave charles an out if he didn't want to come with him, but he also came PREPARED for it, mind you, he came PREPARED to take charles with him to genosha. he didn't get to take charles with him 30 years ago, and he was going to be dammed if he didn't take charles with him NOW (this time with no bullet wound and no helmet lol)
and the most insane thing to me is, that he knows charles has a soft spot for him, he's known this for 30 years, and yet, the only time he uses it in his favor is to get charles to say yes to him on this. the only time he uses it is when he thinks he can do something to help charles - to give him back all the kindness charles gave to him 30 years ago.
anways i'm insane. i'll be back here eating glass if you need me. i'm so normal about them. simon kinberg broke something in me 5 years ago
#i'm so sorry about the bible and the terrible english only one of those is my fault#cherik#xmen#erik lehnsherr#charles xavier#long post#otp: i want you by my side#meta#yapping*
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[BAD DECISION #61] Jinxing It
warnings: (1) mention of toe socks, chess talk, showers, a lil bit of titty luvin, lots of kisses, oral (f&m), fingering, ass play (m), whimpery koo <3, a lil cum swapping, the starluvrs are v cute!!! lots of lil clues and hints about upcoming chapters!!
a/n: there's an authors note over on a03 so I'll you spare you my nonsense! but hi, welcome back!! sorry for the wait on this one <33 if you're only just discovering bd, hello---this is part of an on-going story and includes an established relationship, to be read in context with the rest of the story, it's not a oneshot ^^. for kofi subs, there'll be a BD 62 teaser in a few hours!
wc: 13.7K
bd total wc: 560k (ongoing)
AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI
Life dissolves with Jeongguk. Days merge into one.
Like a tablet in water, or stardust into the atmosphere, time melts.
So does Jeongguk, though. He sinks into the bliss with you. Crumbles. Collapses. You’d go as far to say he turns into a supernova, like stars often do when they collapse.
He lets himself merge into a shared identity that he’s certain isn’t normal of such a fledgling relationship.
Two weeks from the auction, and days have rolled on by without much fuss. Deals have been finalised on winning bids, and Jeongguk’s had meetings with realtors, Yoongi by his side every step of the way. Everything has happened without much thought. Life has just been accepted; new plans and opportunities integrated into the trajectory you’re on. No meteors to throw you off course nor cosmic calamities to falter your future.
Your name is on the interview list for Shinwon’s position, and Jeongguk’s due to be accepting the keys for the building tomorrow. Everything is as it should be.
It’s terrifying, in a way.
You spent so long fearing the rug being swept from beneath your feet, but with Jeongguk’s help, carpets have been laid. They’re not budging.
And nor is he as he sits across from you, legs crossed, his chessboard keeping you apart. It’s a rarity to be on his bed not wrapped up in one another—but he’s almost as serious about chess as he is about you. Almost .
“You know what to do,” he grins, adamant that his crash course in the game was easy to follow. In reality, he’d moved a few pieces, said a few words, and promised with a smile that you’d be able to beat him.
His belief in you is sweet, but entirely misplaced. You’ve not made a single move without his gentle encouragement, most times resulting in you giving the match up on a silver platter.
The correct terminology evades you, and so do the rules. An app sits on your phone unused, a subscription running up a small fortune from a membership never used. It was set up back in the early days of knowing Jeongguk. You swore one day you’d be able to beat him—but life got busy, and quite frankly, chess is not your chosen way to unwind.
But spending time with Jeongguk is, and so you’ll take him in any capacity you can have him.
“Which one should I move?” You pout, utterly transfixed on the chess pieces. There’s a bewildered panic to your expression, brows furrowed over your glittery eyes, hand hovering to and fro over your side of the board.
You single in on the bishop. Look his way with hopeful, wide eyes. He shakes his head.
“Diagonals only,” he reminds you of how bishops move, at which point you realise it’s blocked in by pawns. Your hand moves to one of them, and he shrugs. “I mean… you��can .”
“But should I?”
“You wanna capture the king,” he says, reaching across to dictate your movements. He secures your grip on the pawn, and gently pushes it up a single square to free the bishop’s pathway. “Shift this one up, just one space. Clear the diagonal if you want to move the bishop.”
You do as he says, putting the pawn back in its original position so that you can be the one to place it. Slowly, you repeat his instructions, pushing the pawn up the board while Jeongguk nods.
And then he grins in such a way that you just know you're about to curse him out.
He lifts his strategically placed knight. Knocks your freshly moved pawn. Claims the tile as his own.
“Rule number one,” He smirks, lip ring flipping in the corner of his pretty little mouth. “Never trust your opponent.”
“Dude, what the fuck,” you whine, looking at him with a faux sense of hurt and a very believable pout. “You’re my boyfriend . You’re supposed to help .”
“No moaning,” he dismisses your stropping, knowing he’s lost brownie points for his deception. He also knows he’ll earn your favour back soon enough, so whatever. “Now, what's your next move, baby? Go on.”
You study the board, and assess how different the opposing sides look.
This time, he’s going easy on you. Kind of. You’ve almost exclusively been guided by him for the last half an hour, over a string of short games, all of which have ended with your very quick and immediate defeat.
Jeongguk is too competitive for his own good. Jimin never wants to play against him, ‘cause he knows he’ll lose, too.
This is an indulgence for Jeongguk. He ought not to waste the opportunity—or worse yet, convince you never to play against him again.
He likes the idea of chess being an heirloom; the kind of skill he’ll teach his kids in the future. It’s integral to the very depths of his brain—how he works, and how his logical mind can jump and switch sometimes at the flick of a button—yet he rarely shares it with anyone else.
It’s only apt that you’d get an all-access pass.
Hovering over your now-free bishop, you narrow your eyes as you glance towards him.
He nods.
And so you move a pawn instead.
“I don’t trust you,” you tell him, because he told you not to. In a way, you are trusting him—just trusting that he’s a bullshitter.
What you don’t realise is that you’ve just moved the very pawn that’s been protecting your King, and preventing Jeongguk from getting an easy win.
“B,” he sighs, looking helplessly at the move you just made.
He couldn’t love you any more if he tried, but— fuck —he’ll never understand your brain.
“What?!”
He picks up his queen. Places it diagonally across from your exposed King. There’s nowhere for your King to go, other than in the direct line of his queen. He’s gone and fuckin’ done it again.
Check.
Mate .
Groaning, you realise what's happening and flop down onto your back. Your brain is fried. There's no way Jeongguk actually enjoys this.
"Not again," you whine, pretending to sob a little as you look up at Jeongguk's ceiling. It's without birds these days, but there are a few rogue strips of tape that remind you of your history within these four walls.
"B," Jeongguk laughs, clambering around the board to flop down with you. His arm rests over your tummy as his face aligns with yours. Might not have any birds above you, but the way you melt into his touch is just as deadly as it was the first time. You'll scorch a hole through his sheets with even the most innocent of encounters. His lips are a little pouty, smirk prevailing as he teases, "What did I tell you, huh? Protect your king."
"I tried!" You insist, your over-dramatic, distressed expression far too cute for him to care about playing anymore. He enjoys chess, but he enjoys you more.
"You left him wide open for me to take!"
"You could have gone easy on me!"
"I was!" He defends with a laugh, adamant that he could have taken you out in, like, two moves if he really wanted. "I swear you didn't listen to a single thing I told you—"
"I did! Listening to you is how you got that stupid pawn in the first place," you huff, putting your hand against the bottom of his throat to stop him from getting any closer. He doesn't deserve niceties in times like this.
He'd argue that the feeling of your sharp nails against his throat is incredibly nice.
He ignores your moaning. "I'll make you a deal."
"Go on."
"Strip chess."
"Pervert."
"For every move you make, I'll take an item of clothing off," he suggests with a glint in those starry eyes of his, ignoring your remark.
You assess the situation. Mentally make a checklist of his clothes. Sweats, a shirt, a (toe)sock on either foot, and underwear — that's only five moves, but then again, Jeongguk normally has your king trapped by that point.
"I think you're just trying to get me naked."
"I'm always trying to get you naked, B," he shrugs into his sheets, before tearing himself away and getting back into position on the opposite side of the board. "So are you gonna make it a challenge or not?"
"What happens if I take out one of your pieces?"
"If you do that," he hums, as if he's contemplating it. "I'll let you do that goddamn paper plane you wanna try out so bad."
Instantly, you sit up, like a puppy with a treat being teased in front of its snout. Your eyes are wide, smile incredulous.
It's been a while since Jeongguk made those paper planes in your bedroom. Only one has ever been done, and quite frankly, you think it might have been the catalyst to your friendship's demise, because how you could ever go back to 'just friends' afterwards was beyond you.
It's not like you didn't try to remain totally neutral about cock warming with him, but the way your heart swells whenever you do it now just goes to show how your bodies were made for one another. Like a turning of tides, or the cyclical rising and falling of the sun to make way for the moon, it's just as nature intended. He was made for you, and you him.
With a glint in your eye, you lean over to the chess board and swipe up one of his pawns at random. With a gasp, and a smile twitching at your lips, you exclaim, "Oh look! I won!"
"B," he laughs, but your expression remains entirely serious despite the light nature of it all.
"Lemme fuck your ass," You grin now, pleading ever so softly. "A deal is a deal."
"You didn't win."
"Says who?"
"Anyone who has ever played chess?"
"I've played, and I think I won. C'mon," you grin, positioning yourself on his lap. The chess piece is still in your hands as you lean down to nudge your nose up against his. "Face down, ass up for me, baby."
"You're in my way," he says.
"You could throw me across the room if you wanted to. I'm not stopping you."
"And I'm not throwing you across the room."
"Please," you pathetically beg.
"You really it want it, don't you?" He grins against your lips. "Huh?"
"Just wanna make you feel good."
"You always make me feel good," Jeongguk whispers, quietly deflecting the real reason why he hasn't let you do it yet.
Truth be told, Jeongguk is a little scared.
While yes, he's always been curious about pegging, he's never taken it that far before. Has never had the tools, shall we say, to explore by himself, and none of his exes or flings ever seemed too interested in it.
He wants it. Wants it with you. Just doesn't know how he'll react. Doesn't know what his body will do. Worries that things will take a turn for the worse and that you'll be so repulsed by him that you'll never want to have sex with him again, or that maybe he'll like it too much and that it'll be all he ever wants and it'd ruin just how good things are at the moment.
His thoughts distract him as your lips press feathery kisses against the thick column of his neck. Something about you, and how delicate you can be, just makes him melt into your touch. His hands come to clutch your hair, a pretty little smile forming on his lips.
"You don't have to do this," he quietly says, nails lightly scratching at your scalp. Your lips graze against his skin, before he gently pulls you back by the root of your hair. The sensation makes you want him even more than you already do. There's a love-drunk look of lust to your darling eyes, all glittery like they so often are as you look at him.
Reaching to cup his jaw, you marvel at how a man who looks like him can be as tender as he is. The world would give him permission to break hearts, if he wanted it, but he doesn't. All he seems to want is to adore, and be adored in return—and how lucky you are to be on the receiving end of it.
A slight guilt settles in your stomach. You know he'd give you the world if you asked for it, but he isn't giving you this.
"I'm only teasing," you tell him, which isn't strictly true. You do wanna do it, but your incessant begging is what you're joking about. It's not like you'll die if you can't fuck his ass (maybe). "I'll respectfully stay out of your ass unless requested otherwise."
He shakes his head. Laughs. Kisses you, 'cause he just can't help himself, then pulls you down into the sheets with him. "I give it a day until you're asking again."
Secretly, he wants you to ask again. It doesn't feel like pressure. Feels like validation; as if you want this even more than he does.
The thing is, you can't say no to a challenge. "Wanna bet?"
No.
But he can't resist either. "You're on."
Yoongi stands with his shoulders pressed to glass front door, keys looped on his fingers. The streets in this area are always quiet until the evening, minor hustle and bustle from delivery drivers dropping off stock to businesses down the alley disturbing the peace.
A small hotteok stall sits lopsided, supported by the building's exterior wall, red tarpaulin covering it from the weather and any inquisitive eyes. An elderly man runs it during the weekends, but for the rest of the week, it sits derelict. It's an eyesore, to say the least. Not the kind of thing that screams 'hot new restaurant' to anyone walking by.
It's as Yoongi's contemplating how to solve this problem, figuring the stallhand probably had an agreement with the previous owners, when Jeongguk comes into his line of vision. He tweaks a brow in Jeongguk's direction, almost as if to ask: what time do you call this?
Jeongguk's right on time. It's not a minute past twelve, which is exactly the time Yoongi told him to arrive.
Sale finalised, paperwork complete, Yoongi got given the keys this morning. It's a done deal. The building is his, and in turn, the restaurant is Jeongguk’s.
Despite his nonchalance, when Yoongi sees Jeongguk grin, he can't help but smile too.
"Shut up," Yoongi tells him. "We're serious businessmen. Don't get giggly with me."
"I'm not!" Jeongguk laughs, hands up in defence, until Yoongi puts his own hand out for Jeongguk to shake. Naturally, Jeongguk uses Yoongi's hand to pull him in for a hug instead. Patting his back, Jeongguk is almost fighting the urge to cry. He's waited so long for this. Worked so hard. Doesn't think any of it would be possible without Yoongi, but Yoongi would disagree.
"You better make the best fuckin' samgyeopsal this city has ever seen," Yoongi threatens with all the love in the world, breaking from the hug. Passing over the keys, he nods towards the doors. "Do us the honours."
Yoongi is fatherly in the way he never takes the glory for himself. Will be the kind of dad to build a lego castle and let his kid put the flag in place at the end of his labour.
Jeongguk doesn't mention it, but he's noticed the way Seoyeon has been the designated driver for the past few weeks; how she didn't drink at auction, and how Yoongi's been even more attentive than he usually is.
Could be nothing at all. Could just be a change in the weather.
But it could mean everything, and Jeongguk knows better than to intrude before being welcomed in on the news.
Pushing the key into the lock, Jeongguk is quietly enamoured with the fact the premises has a lock and key instead of the typical keypad locks that are usually in place. The metal grates against itself as he twists the lock open, and pushes the door open.
There's a separate side entrance for access to the upper floors.
The floors Jeongguk intends to be the restaurant already have a connecting staircase towards the back of the room, which will make it infinitely easier for staying out of Yoongi's hair whenever he's in the workshop.
In the light of day, the furniture from the previous owners now removed, it's so much easier for Jeongguk to envisage how everything will look; where the signage will hang, where the bar will go, and, most importantly, where the disco balls will hang.
"It's really happening," he exhales, as if he hadn't realised it at any earlier stage in the process.
Yoongi doesn't berate him. Instead, he takes a deep breath, too. Nods. "It's really happening."
Though he smiles, Jeongguk wishes he had a hand to hold as tightly as his lips press together. Wishes you were here. Knows you're busy with work, making up hours to account for the fact you'll have some time off at the end of the week for your interview at the Ryu.
Why you need an interview is beyond him. He thinks they're being ridiculous. Thinks that even entertaining the idea of hiring someone else is an insult. Got so wound up about it, ranting to Jimin while he was making dinner, that he burned his sauce a couple of nights ago. Is now on a talking while cooking ban. Jimin says Jeongguk can't be trusted to multitask. Jeongguk says Jimin is a little prick.
The day is lost to making plans; sketches drawn up on Jeongguk's ipad, discussions with Yoongi about how to go about getting liscences for the premises, and back and forth over what should be done with the top two floors.
The idea of Taehyung using the fourth floor as a studio is considered, but both of them know how much he adores his current place.
"Think he'd live there, if he could," Yoongi muses picking up a slice of napjak mandu with his chopsticks, dipping it into the tteokbokki sauce. They'd ordered from the place near his current workshop, and it makes him lament the idea of leaving it behind.
Perhaps he can keep them both. Use the smaller space as his own little sanctuary, and the third floor here as his public-facing premises. Might be a bit of a waste, but if he can afford the rent, then why not?
"Tell you what," Yoongi hums as he swallows down his food. "If you don't add something like this to the menu, I'm kicking you out."
"I'll put it on the secret menu," Jeongguk offers, knowing that it definitely won't be what he offers to punters. He makes a mean tteokbokki, but it doesn't fit the vision of what he wants for this place. "Well, what about Jimin? He could start up his own interior place, if he wants. He's got the money for it, and I know the office he's in at the moment has been stifling him. Lost out on, like, three big commissions in the last quarter because the boss went with some other prick's ideas. Jimin's wasted there."
Yoongi hums in agreement as he swallows down his food. "We could always get him to help out with the design of this place. I reckon he knows all the tricks for good energy."
Nodding, Jeongguk laughs. Picks up another rice cake and chows down on it as he adds, "Should have seen him when we moved into our current place. Man had a compass out to align a sofa with the right energy."
"Sounds about right," Yoongi grins, resting his chopsticks back down against the edge of the bowl. "Well, what about your missus, then? Would she want gallery space? Somewhere for curation?"
Jeongguk chokes on his rice cake, and it's not because of the spice.
"She's not my missus—" he corrects, but then decides he doesn't want to "—at least, not yet. And she's got a big interview with The Ryu this week. I'm not sure opening her own gallery is on her agenda, but I can put the feelers out—and like… I don't know. Wouldn't it be a bit much? We spend so much time together, already. She'd get sick of me if I was working two floors below."
"Would you get sick of her?"
"Don't be stupid. No."
"Exactly," Yoongi says as if it's obvious—which, in all fairness, he thinks it is. "The pair of you are in a perpetual honeymoon phase."
Jeongguk shakes his head, as if he isn't beaming. "Shut up. Just got a good thing going—and hey, you're hardly one to talk. How's Seoyeon?"
"Good, yeah," Yoongi nods, but doesn't divulge any further. As much as Jeongguk is dying to ask, he holds back. "She wants you all round for dinner soon, so expect an invite in the group chat."
"For any reason?" Jeongguk baits Yoongi, cause he just can't help himself.
Unlucky for him, Yoongi is as stoic as can be. "You know Seo. She loves any excuse for a dinner party. Has started making her own pasta and I think she wants tasters."
"B makes a mean pasta," Jeongguk says, because his thoughts so often wind back to you, and he just can't help himself. "I'm sure she'll be buzzing to try Seoyeons."
A sense of pride washes over Yoongi's features. "Gah, when did you grow up, Jeongguk? Practically married, aren't you?"
Dismissive in how he shakes his head, Jeongguk can't help but let a bashful smile grow on his face. The soft lights overhead glimmer down him, putting those stars Jeongguk adores so much right back in his eyes. He'll never get rid of you. Will eternally carry the evidence of how utterly smitten he is.
Should you ever leave him, Jeongguk thinks he'd simply die of a broken heart. Wouldn't know how to walk if it weren't in the direction of you. Would stumble and fall until he inevitably wound up back at your door like a wounded puppy.
So perahps Yoongi is right. Maybe it would make sense to offer you the space—but you've got your own agenda. Your own dreams. Jeongguk can't just entrap you in his.
The thing is, once your shift is up, and you're heading to the restaurant premises to see Jeongguk, you can't help but feel like this is a dream come true for you.
His ambition and drive have rubbed off on you; encouraged you up a career path you once thought was overgrown with thorns and rubble. Has shown you that all you need is a little bit of elbow grease and a pair of secateurs to go after what you want.
It's dark by the time you arrive. Lights from the other establishments flood the streets, but the blinds are closed on the restaurant for a little privacy. A handwritten 'under new management' sign is taped to the front door in Jeongguk's signature penstroke. A little smiley face accents it; a show of how he feels, you presume.
Pulling your phone from your back pocket, you dial through to him, 'cause you've no idea how to get in, nor if he's even actually there. The building is just on the way home from the art cafe, and you'd left Jeongguk's place that morning to a very smiley boyfriend instead of his usual 'don't go' pout, so you figure he's spent all day busy with exciting plans.
"Sorry, not interested," Jeongguk's voice purrs through the speaker, as if you're some kind of cold-calling saleswoman with nothing half-decent to offer him.
"What if I told you I'm outside the restaurant and that I'm naked under my clothes?"
"Aren't we all naked under our clothes?"
"Just open the door," you grin down the phone as he comes into view through the glass doors.
He's got the kind of look on his face that you'd expect: pouty lips with heavy-lidded eyes. Softening ever so slightly when he notices the bunch of wildflowers poking out from the tote bag you've got hooked over your shoulder, his eyes are incapable of ever hiding his true feelings.
Mild confusion ( did someone get you flowers?) dismissed with easy understanding—they're from the stall he always buys you flowers from, so he knows you got them yourself.
It's very conflicting to adore you and to also want to fuck you into next Tuesday, but it garners you a gaze nobody else is ever lucky enough to receive from him. You cherish it. Think about it near-constantly whenever he's not by your side.
"You're a terrible saleswoman," he scolds so softly it feels like praise.
"And yet here you are, answering the door for me," you shrug with a knowing smile, sure that'd he take whatever you sold him. Would buy sand, water, air from you. Would let you swindle him.
"And yet here I am."
Hanging up, you mouth 'open it' through the door, and he does as he's told—kind of.
Blocking the now half-open door, he childishly asks, "What's the password?"
"I love you?"
"Ew. Gross. Get a room. No."
"Fuck you.”
"Not the password either, but I'm more than willing."
"Ew. Gross," you imitate him, gagging a little for an extra immaturity. "Hmm… Byeol is the best?"
"Ddaeng."
"Jimin sucks?"
"Ddaeng… but I approve. Good guess."
"Gimme a hint."
"It's the name of the restaurant."
The confidence that comes with the restaurant being his now is nothing short of a miracle. He's so certain of everything these days, in a way he never was before—but why shouldn't he? He got the girl. Got the dream. There's nothing he can't do. Statistically, he's two for two. A winner by all counts. A gold medalist in his very own Olympics.
"You've never told me what you want to name it!" You protest with a whine, thinking he's being entirely unfair.
It's not like you haven't asked a million times over. He's just been keeping it underwraps. Was scared that speaking it into existence would jinx it. Would refuse with a coy grin, and assurance that he'd reveal it soon enough.
Truth be told, Jeongguk's gone back and forth over names. It's probably changed ten times since he's known you, but then you said something at the fundraising auction, and everything sort of clicked into place.
A name was coined and it wouldn't stop embossing itself into Jeongguk's dreams; the branding, the signage, everything. A new vision of what he wanted spawned like lava onto a mountainside. You sparked a volcano he didn't even realise existed, and it's solidified into molten rock.
"I'll cut you a deal," you offer, knowing that you'll never get it and he'll never ease. Shrugging your shoulder to gesture towards the bag, you begin your enticement. "I've got cold beer and hot burgers from that place you like down the road. They're all yours in you let me in—if not, I'm going home and Danbi will—"
"Say no more," Jeongguk pushes the door open and grabs your hand, pulling you into the vacant restaurant with him. The door clicks close behind you, and Jeongguk spins you around so that you're stood infront of him, facing the large room. Arms wrapping around your waist, Jeongguk rests his chin on your shoulder, gently pressing a kiss to your neck. "Welcome in."
It's a lot to take in all at once. The room stands empty, save for the camping chairs and table Yoongi and Jeongguk had coversed around earlier, Jeongguk's ipad resting on the table with a low battery warning on the dimly lit screen. There's paperwork scattered on the surface—old utilities letters that they were using to sort out the new bills—and a bag of trash tied up on the floor from their lunch.
"I don't smell burgers," Jeongguk mumbles against your neck.
"I was lying."
"You've no shame."
Turning your head, you let him raise his nose to yours, a feathery kiss greeting your lips.
Whenever your doe-eyed boy greets you like this, you always feel a bit like snow white; as if a dozen tiny creatures will flock to you and bestow their love upon you.
It'd be fruitless, mind you, for none of them could even come close to how deeply Jeongguk adores you. He'd sit in the corner, jealous and bratty as they fawned over you. Would hate not being the object of your affection. Would strop until your focus was back on him.
"I'll order some," you promise, but Jeongguk shakes his head.
"Won't be here much longer. We can pick some up on the way home."
"Sure?"
"Yeah, baby," he tenderly whispers, punctuating himself with a slightly firmer kiss, before pulling away from you. Walking into the middle of the room, he holds out his arms. Grins. "Welcome."
"It's a pleasure," you grin, freely stepping into the space now, looking around with awestruck eyes knowing that this is his . "Holy shit, Gguk."
"Yeah," he agrees with your sentiment. "Mad, innit?"
"Just a little."
When you think back to the Jeongguk you first met—the one who spent hours upon hours studying for his exams, all the while working at the bar of an admittedly shitty club—you can't help but feel overwhelmed with pride. He worked himself to the bone for his dreams.
The space is large enough for Jeongguk to go wild with it. There's no end to his possibilities. He's got an arsenal of weapons in his back pocket in the form of his friends—Yoongi can fit the place out, Jimin can help with the design work, Taehyung can make a central art piece, and Namjoon can get it featured in the paper. Of course, he won't take advantage of his access to them, but knowing how willing his friends always are to help out, it's kind of like a no-brainer. He's got all the tools needed for success.
"And right here," he points up, standing in the middle of a square marked out with tape on the floor. It's large and in the centre of the room—the intended space for a central bar and banchan preparation spot, flipping the conventions of traditional barbecue places on their heads. Wants the food to quite literally be at the heart of the restaurant. "Is where the disco balls will be."
For a second, you think you miss-hear him, but the way his smiles grows when confronted with your confusion only proves you heard perfectly fine.
Sitting on one of the camping chairs Yoongi and Jeongguk had set up earlier, you've been watching him talk you through his vision for the place. It sounds incredible—just like him, but in restaurant version.
"Is that not a health and safety hazard?" You giggle, desperate to get up and stand with him, but feeling the need to maintain distance. He's having his moment. He doesn't need a shared stage—and yet here he is, announcing that the very embodiment of you will be centre stage for the foreseeable.
Jeongguk shrugs. "Haven't thought that far ahead. There's gonna be disco balls here whether they like it or not, though."
Realistically, if the health and safety inspectors tell him no disco balls, there'll be no disco balls—but he won't be happy about it. Will be pouty. You both know he's just being facetious, and that he'll comply with whatever is asked of him.
"It's my restaurant, baby," he reminds you, holding out his hands, cause he wants you closer. Naturally, you do ass requested, and join him in his square. His arm slips around your waist, a kiss firmly being pressed to your forehead before your chin leans on his chest. Looking up at him, it's a wonder that you're able to have conversations that last more than a single back and forth. A miracle, even. "I can do what I want."
There's something so incredibly sexy about this cocksure arrogance. He's not the same guy you met back in the confines of Dionysus, and while you adored him back then, you adore him even more now.
"You're sexy when you talk business," you hum, as his hand dip a little further south to squeeze your ass. "Home?"
He nods, a pretty smile hanging off his lips. "Mine or yours?"
"Yours is closer," you tell him, pulling away, linking your fingers with his as you do so, dragging him with you. Hooking your bag up over your shoulder, you're reminded of the flowers. "Oh—these are for you, by the way."
Passing them over, you're not surprised by his confusion.
"For me?"
The bunch of wildflowers looked pretty big in your hands, but remarkably small in his. You have to make a considered effort to not groan.
"Mhmm," you nod with a sweet smile. "A congratulations."
Jeongguk's head pushes back a little into his neck, shoulders broadening as his smile forms. He quickly tilts his head to the side and then back again in the way he often does whenever his brain is processing something new.
"Never had flowers before."
"Nice, isn't it?" You grin, knowing that nothing beats fresh flowers when it comes to small pockets of expressed admiration.
With a bashful nod, Jeongguk feels like he should feel emasculated, but can't quite work out the way he actually does feel. All he knows is that he likes it. And that he wants to get home. And that he wants you in his bed. Naked, preferably.
His thoughts dart back and forth to the last time you were in his room. Gets him hot. Blushing.
Thankfully, you don't seem to notice—or if you do, you don't mention it. Why would you? It's cute.
"What time is your interview tomorrow?" Jeongguk asks as he makes sure the door is locked behind you both.
"One in the afternoon," you reply with a certain nonchalance, as if you're unphased, which Jeongguk knows is absolute bullshit. "Hobes said he'll work my shift if I buy him a month's supply of Sprite, so I've got, like, 48 cans arriving tomorrow."
He would have done it for free, but he's a tough bargainer and you're just an easy sell when it comes to making the people you care about happy.
"His blood will turn into sprite," Jeongguk laughs, linking his hand with yours once more as you head down the road to the nearest subway entrance. "How are you feeling about it? We can practise interview questions later, if you like."
Shaking your head, you smile. "It'll just make me nervous, and at the moment, I'm pretty calm about things. Thank you, though."
"Well, if you change your mind," Jeongguk reinforces the offer, before you redirect the conversation and get him babbling about the restaurant—projected timelines, contractors, suppliers. There's so much to do, and yet it doesn't feel overwhelming in the slightest. Not yet, at least.
With a pit stop at the burger place as promised, the journey home is effortless. Intrinsic by this point.
Shoes off by the door, Jimin is out for a company dinner, so it's just the pair of you.
"Has he spoken with you about Nabi, yet?" You ask as you grab some condiments from the kitchen, while Jeongguk fills a vase with water.
"God, no," Jeongguk laughs. "He used to tease me all the time about you, but now he can't even look me in the eyes 'cause he's worried I'll ask about it. Idiot."
"He used to tease you? About me?" You hum, a little smug at this little snippet of information.
"You know what he's like," Jeongguk reminds you, 'cause it's not like you've ever been spared from Jimin's teasing. "Doesn't know how to not be irritating. Character flaw. Think he was born that way."
Despite his annoying tendencies, Jimin is adored by pretty much everyone he meets. Jeongguk doesn't say such things to be mean, but rather because he views him like a sibling.
"If anyone knows how to handle him, it's Nabi," you muse, thinking back to Pohang. "He'd have driven me insane organising the Jilympics."
"Don't call it that," Jeongguk smiles at how ridiculous his best friend is. Delicately arranging the flowers, Jeongguk's sense of perfectionism comes out once more. "He's a little narcissist. He'll sense his ego being inflated from miles away, and then his head won't be able to fit through doors." Tweaking a yellow flower to move it more centrally, Jeongguk shakes his head. "And to think the first time you were in this apartment—"
"Shut up," you groan, not wanting to be reminded of it. "Everybody makes mistakes."
"Alright, Hannah Montana," Jeongguk teases you. "It's just kinda wild, isn't it? How everything has just worked itself out?"
"Don't," you say with a glint in your eye. "You'll jinx it."
Perhaps it's foolish—naive, even—but he doesn't think it's possible. Thinks that this is all set in stone. That your names have been etched on a cliffside somewhere, and that's where you'll remain forever more.
He forgets that cliffs erode. That the weather is unpredictable, and life even more so.
He's always been cautious. Reluctant of counting eggs.
But he’s hungry. Ravenous. The first at the dinner table, and the last to leave. Bites off more than he can chew. Chokes and splutters in the wake of it all, every single damn time.
It’s a flaw he’ll admit to having, but why can’t vices be virtues? Why can’t he be optimistic? Why shouldn’t he hope for the best? He spent so long living in a perpetual state of fear, and it never did him any good. Wasn’t until he started opening himself to the idea of things working out okay that they actually started heading in that direction.
“I’ll do no such thing,” he assures you, reaching for a pan to start with his second course. Again, he’s hungry in all aspects of the word. Hasn’t even had his burgers yet, but he’s a growing boy, or so he’d have you believe. Better to just get it cooked first, and save him the hassle of getting up again later. “You want some?”
He nods towards the empty saucepan, but doesn’t need to explain what he’s making. You know it’ll be instant bibimyeon.
“A little,” you nod, knowing that this relationship is gonna be terrible for your waistline. Opening up his fridge, you pull a can of soda from the fridge. Jeongguk doesn’t really ever buy soda, unlike you and your minor peach soda addiction, but take-out places always chuck a complimentary can of something in with your orders, so he’s got quite a stockpile now.
“You want a beer or something instead?” He asks, as he begins to prepare the instant noodles in the most embellished way he possibly can. Spices, sauces, you name it, he’s always adding something—and it’s always delicious.
Cracking the can open, you set it down and swipe the camera of your phone up to snap a picture of him; to document him in his element. “Nah, it’s okay. Want a clear head for tomorrow.”
Jeongguk smiles, hearing the synthetic shutter of your phone clicking. “Obsessed.”
“So?” You grin, immediately swiping across to open up Instagram and preserve the moment on your story. “You love it.”
Though he doesn’t reply, he does look in your direction with a smile that would only confirm your words.
Together, you fall into a casual rhythm, you perched up on a barstool while he cooks. Conversation darts from A to B, Y to Z. There’s no topic of conversation too obscure nor taboo for you to realm into the depths of, but there’s also something comforting about how you can just natter about the weather, how he should get his hair cut, what’s on at the cinema.
By the time he’s eaten and cleaned up the kitchen, you’re already in the shower. It’ll be an early night. You’ve both been working today, and both have important things to get done the next day.
There’s no objection from you as he taps on the door and asks to come in. You hadn’t locked it deliberately. Jimin’s out, and even if he’d have come home, he’d have heard the shower going—or Jeongguk would have told him. There’s no real worry there.
“Been looking forward to this all day,” Jeongguk admits as he grabs his shirt by the nape of his neck, pulling it over his head in that boyish way he so often does. Neither of you really care about being naked—it’s a daily occurrence at this point—but seeing him get undressed makes your heart feel all jelly-like and void of structure. The chambers melt, and so do you.
It’s not just attraction, but affection. Acknowledgement that he doesn’t mind being vulnerable with you. That the things humans do to renew themselves — eat, shower, sleep — are things he wants to do with you. He doesn’t want to be full if you’re hungry, sleep while you’re starved of rest, nor wash away the traces of you. Renewal without you just doesn’t make sense to him.
“Me too,” you quietly say as he joins you. The water pitter-patters down on you both, his hair wetting before laying flat against his forehead. When his deft hands push it away, it always falls back.
Instinctively, your arms wrap around his waist, his around your shoulders, the embrace akin to coming home.
“We should both just quit our jobs and do this forever,” Jeongguk muses, almost sleepy in how he mumbles his words against the top of your head.
“Someone’s gotta pay the water bill,” you smile against his bare chest.
“That’s why I live with Jimin,” Jeongguk replies, tone cheeky and warm.
The smile on your face sweetly settles into something a little more neutral as you outwardly consider your own living situation. “Lease is up soon, yanno. Mine and Dans.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nod, wet hair tangling over itself against his skin. He holds you just as tightly. “Haven’t started looking for new places, yet.”
“I’ve still got a few months left on mine,” Jeongguk says, pulling back to reposition the shower head. Just wants to hear you a little more clearly. “My bed is basically yours anyways.”
It doesn’t take a genius to work out what he’s insinuating—but it also doesn’t take a genius to know that it wouldn’t be the right thing for you both, yet.
Your eyes are soft as you shake your head. “I’ve a whole apartment's worth of stuff, Gguk. I can’t just move into your room. Need my own space.”
He frowns, reaching for the shampoo. “You can. And I’ll even move my statues.”
“You mean your action figures?”
“Oh my god,” he groans, and then you’re giggling, and any negative thoughts Jeongguk could have about you saying ‘no’ dissolve into nothingness, like water running down the drain. He passes you over the shampoo once he’s gotten himself some, and adds, “People pay good money for a collection like mine.”
“You mean you spent a fuck ton of money on them?”
“We’ve all got our weaknesses,” he protests. “You’ve got so many clothes. I don’t think I’ve ever been into your room when there hasn’t been an avalanche of clothes on the chair, wardrobe and dressers bursting at seams—”
“Exactly,” You laugh. “Now imagine all of that in your room.”
He takes a second. Visualises it as he lathers up the foamy shampoo in his hair and almost hisses. “Yeah. You’re right. I take it back. Get your own place.”
Rolling your eyes, you flick a little water in his direction, as if it makes a difference.
He grins, teeth on show, lip ring doing the thing that just makes you melt.
“See,” you grin right back. “I’m always right.”
The rest of your shower is littered with dumb conversations and stolen kisses between shampoo rinses. In fact, it’s how the rest of the evening continues. Some dumb action film plays on the tv, and then Jeongguk finds a dumb youtube quiz, and you giggle into the early hours over some other dumb shit. Dumb, dumb, dumb and oh so totally in love.
The apartment issue lingers in the back of Jeongguk’s mind, though, and questions dance on the tip of his tongue. He tries to brush them away, but the mint of his toothpaste isn’t enough to erase them. They taste sour, and he knows the only way to rid the sensation is to speak them into existence.
Gone midnight, the city is still alive. His curtains are open, because you’ve started to get used to the way he likes to sleep, and find it far easier to wake up early when the sun is giving you a warm welcome to the day. Funny, how things change. How willing he was to change his habits for you, and how seamlessly yours have changed to fit him. You’re better for knowing one another, or so it feels.
The light pollution gives his bedroom a soft glow, and with every change of advertisement on the billboards across the street, the hue changes. Like his own personal mood lamp, it’s become a staple of his home. It’s blue, now, and so is he when he considers the fact that you haven’t yet reached the stage of sharing a home.
Your arm is looped over his waist, ‘cause he’d decided that the role of the little spoon would be going to him. Fingers interlocked with yours, he has no interest in ever letting go.
“B?”
“Mhmm?”
“Is Dan definitely moving in with Tae?”
“Think so.”
Jeongguk doesn’t immediately reply, but you leave space open for him. A question like that didn’t come out of the blue. It’s something he’s been ruminating on, no doubt.
When he finally does speak, the weight of his soft, if not somewhat pouty, words crush down on your chest in a way that you can’t quite explain. Hell, in a way you don’t want to explain, because it would mean admitting that a man has such power over you (even if said man is Jeon Jeongguk).
“They’ve always been one step ahead of us,” he laments.
And then he leaves silence for you. Knows that you always have a response of some kind that will settle his woes. Feels guilty that you’re always cleaning up the messes of his loose lips, but would be a liar if he said he didn’t crave the sweet nothings you soothe him with.
“They’re on an entirely different path, baby,” you gently press a kiss into his shoulder. He’s so warm and powder-fresh from his shower that you can’t help but want to cling to him like a koala bear. Most importantly, though, you don’t want him to move away. Space to talk is fine, but physical space? God, no. “There's no use comparing.”
But Jeongguk is a glutton for punishment. Will continue making himself feel small for the sake of his perceived flaws.
“Loved you before Taehyung even knew who Danbi was,” Jeongguk pouts, ‘cause he’s in his head again, going round in circles when he really needn’t be. You know he does this, though. It doesn’t surprise nor concern you. If anything, it reassures you, because his willingness to share these thoughts just signposts how far you’ve both come. He used to stew and sour over things like this. Now, he shares his burdens “But they’re doing all these big milestones first. They were a couple, went on vacation, and now moving in together. All before us.”
“It’s not a competition,” you sweetly laugh. “Their relationship couldn’t be more different to ours. Plus I hardly consider a weekend in Jeju a big vacation—we can literally do that this weekend, if you want.”
You’re not sure why you’ve never been away together. Busan is always lovely, but it’s a short drive, and is somewhere Jeongguk still considers to be home. It’s not a holiday. Perhaps you should rectify that. It's better spoken about during the daylight hours, but always a little nicer to dream at night. Make silly, fantastical plans that you could always turn into reality, if you really wanted.
“Gguk,” you softly continue. “As much as I love them both, we’re literally so different from them. Our relationship was never gonna be like theirs.”
“You think?”
“Mhmm,” you nod, lips brushing against the bare skin of his shoulder. “Well, I mean, he lets her peg him for starters—”
Jeongguk turns so quickly it’s a miracle he doesn’t fall out of bed. Even in the darkness of his room at night, the open curtains mean his shock is easy to make out. “Does he actually?!”
Giggling, you roll onto your back, thoroughly enjoying his reaction. Truth is, you’ve no idea. Just said it to be a dick.
“Probably,” you say, admitting that you don’t know. You just knew it would cause a reaction. Ease the tension, somewhat. “He’s like, obsessed with her. Would let her do anything she wants.”
Sinking back down into the sheets with you, Jeongguk wraps his arm over your body now. Pulls you close. Presses a kiss to your neck, and says, “You lost the bet, y’know? Can’t even go 24 hours without thinking about fucking my ass, can you?”
It sounds like a complaint, but the way his lips seem unable to stop pressing wet kisses against your throat would prove otherwise. Your hand tangles in his hair, scratching his scalp in approval.
“Cute that you think I haven’t been thinking about it all day,” you tease, biting back the small murmur of a moan that’s just begging to escape from his touch.
You often have thoughts about him throughout the day, both pure and impure. It’s not like you mean to—it’s just that there’s something about Jeongguk that is impossible to forget. Like a class-A drug, you linger from high to high, using thoughts about him to sustain your comedown until you can see him again.
He is your boyfriend, though. Would be weirder if you weren’t a little obsessed.
“Liar,” he scolds. “I picked your clothes up after our shower. Your underwear were dry.”
“You were inspecting my underwear? Freak,” you tease, because quite honestly the idea of him studying your underwear in the hopes of finding arousal is kinda hot, even if a little perverted. “And maybe it’s because you don’t get me excited.”
Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk ignores your insult. Instead, his hand creeps down the mound of your pussy, pausing before he sinks his fingers between your thighs. “So you’ll be dry right now, then?”
“I’ll be just like the Gobi,” you assure him with that tone of defiance he's grown to adore. “Try me.”
You don’t know why you’re offering yourself up like this, ‘cause you know it’s only gonna end up one way.
“You’re such a fuckin’ liar,” he smirks—and then is proven correct as his fingers slide between your slick folds with ease. A gasp escapes from your lips as he casually brushes past your clit, paying it no attention whatsoever. “And even if you weren’t, there’s like, five bigger deserts than the Gobi. Sounds like it’s a pretty easy drought to rectify—but fuckin’ hell, B. My pretty girl and her filthy mouth. Full of lies, isn’t it? You’re fuckin’ soaked.”
“No,” you purr, hips languidly rolling to intensify the sensation he’s facilitating. After all, he’s right. There’s nothing dry about the situation between your legs. “Never told a lie in my life.”
His teeth nip at your neck as his body presses up against your side, the thick ridge of his cock letting you know that you most certainly get him excited.
“You’re so full of shit, B,” he quietly says, lips from a pretty little kiss against the edge of your jaw. “Told so many lies, haven’t you, hm? Like when you used to tell people we were just friends?”
The desperate sigh that escapes your mouth only fuels him on even more.
“You remember the first time I touched you like this, huh?” He husks against your ear. “Those pretty eyes of yours watching us in the mirror. You can see us now, can’t you?”
Nudging his head against yours, he encourages you to look in the direction of his mirror. You always sleep on the side of the bed closest to it, but you rarely pay it any attention these days. The pair of you are obscured—bed sheets and shadows hiding what he’s doing to you—but the eroticism is just as potent as it always was.
“Gguk,” you rasp, back arching when he strokes against your clit just right.
Restraint is something that you wish you had been gifted with, but alas—you are just a girl, and he is just the sexiest man you’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing a bed with. Of course you melt with every little thing he does.
“What is it, baby?” His index finger pushes into the seeping entrance of your cunt, just once, twice, to really get you moaning. “You like it when your boyfriend touches you?”
Something about Jeongguk referring to himself like that always gets you hot, but it’s partially because of the way he almost growls when he does it. You know it’s a turn-on for him. Know that his cock is throbbing. Know he loves calling himself yours.
Tugging on his arm, you encourage him to move on top of you. It’s late, and you should both be getting a good night's rest, but whatever. In half an hour, you’ll both be away with the fairies. If anything, this will help you fall asleep quicker.
“Thought you wanted an early night?” he husks against your lips, finishing his question with a kiss that lasts far longer than any words spoken. His firm lips part yours as your legs wrap around his hips as they grind up against yours.
“And I thought you said whoever speaks about fucking your ass next loses?” You smile against his lips, knowing that he definitely must have a twisted idea of what punishment is. “How is this losing?”
“We never set out terms,” he reminds you, unable to stop himself from kissing you between sentences. “But maybe it's not about losing. Maybe it’s about winning.”
“Okay?” You entertain his flirt, giggling between those kisses he just can’t seem to stop giving you. “So what are you winning?”
He pretends to give it thoughtful consideration. Squints his eyes and looks away as if contemplating one of life's great questions. Why are we here? What is the point of life? How do I want my girlfriend to make me cum tonight?
Jeongguk presses a kiss to your neck, nose nudging against your skin. He’s feline-like. Purry. Pathetic. Just how you like him.
“You haven’t sucked me off in a while,” he whispers, teeth nipping at your earlobe. Your hand laces in his hair, a soft moan humming from your lips. There’s a softness to the slow movements of your bodies. A comfort. A desperation. Unadulterated devotion. “So maybe that?”
You laugh at his shamelessness. Press a kiss to his temple, still scratching at his scalp. “I gave you a blowjob, like, two days ago, baby.”
“I know,” he whines like a wounded puppy, all docile and dejected. “It’s been so long I might die.”
“Hmm?” You hum in response, pushing on his waist ever so slightly until he gets the message to roll onto his back. He does as he's told, because he really is just a puppy dog beneath it all. Well-trained and desperate for a treat.
Following the movements of his body, you naturally ease into position on top of him. Legs straddled either side of his waist, you raise yourself up into a seated position, earning you a grunt of approval from Jeongguk.
The way his hands immediately reach up to play with your chest is curious, considering he still plays himself off as an ass guy. Strong with his movements, he grips the softness of your tits, his hips gently pulsing up against you.
“These might help prolong my life expectancy,” he says. “Best stress balls known to man.”
He seems quite content like this. Eyes closed, a smile hangs off his lips like he’s in a serene state of bliss. You cock your brow, unable to fight a smile, too.
“Did you just call my tits… balls?”
One of his eyes cracks open. “No?”
“You definitely did.”
“Didn’t.”
“Did—”
“Byeol,” he reprimands your diversion of the topic. “C’mon. Business, baby.”
“Is that all I am to you, huh?” You say, reaching for his wrist so that you can pull your hairband from it. He lets you do so and looks on with salacious curiosity as you begin to tie your hair up in a ponytail. “Just a transaction?”
“Mhmm,” he nods, his own hair tangling against his pillow as he does so. “A bird for a bird, remember?”
“Are we not past the point of the birds?”
“Well, yeah,” he says as if it’s totally obvious. “Thought we were gonna do a plane?”
Jeongguk’s reference back to the paper planes that he crafted in your bedroom makes your heart seize. You know what he means by that. Knows that it’s permission, in a way. That he wants what you want, even if he doesn’t outwardly say it.
“Are we?”
“Well we’re not gonna do anything if you keep up with the small talk,” he fondly teases you, pulling you back down so your chest is against his. One of his hands wraps itself in your ponytail and tugs ever so gently. A soft moan escapes your lips, much to his enjoyment. “I like your hair like this.”
In all honesty, he just likes being able to pull on it. Loves your hair no matter how it’s done.
“You’ll like it even more in a few minutes.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you say, pressing a kiss to the corner of his jaw before you embark on your journey south.
It’s intrinsic, how you work his body. A routine so well learned it’s not even given a second thought anymore. You know how to make him tick. The way he groans when you press pretty kisses down his collarbones and the way his hips roll when you drag the pink of your tongue over his pebbled nipples.
His hand clutches in your hair, keeping you in that position, encouraging you to pay a little extra attention to his nipples for a change. It’s not often that he wants too much focus on his chest, but he’s so turned on that even the slightest touch is making him go feral.
“Shit,” he hisses when your teeth gently press down around his nipple before you suck it ever so gently. “You’re so fuckin’ good at that.”
He’s never cared for it before. In all honestly, he actively didn’t like it when previous partners did it. There’s something about you that subverts all his desires. You’ve changed him. Altered his understanding of his body. Opened him up to so much more than he’d ever considered before.
Still, you’ve got an agenda, and unfortunately for him, it doesn’t involve his chest. He lets you move down, one hand lazily hanging by your head, the other resting over his chest. His thumb strokes over his pebbled nipple, still wet from your tongue, the pleasure of your touch sending him into a state of ecstasy.
Your body shuffles down, and you both reposition yourselves. No longer are you straddling, but rather you’re between his legs. His thighs are dappled in kisses from you, before your palms rest flat to his inner thighs, spreading him just right.
Alternating between slow kisses and languid drags of your tongue, you teeter ever so close to his thick, solid cock, but never quite touch it. Every time you get close, he whines, cock twitching.
There’s a satisfaction to be found in the way his body responds to your touch. His desperation is painful. Visceral. All he wants is you.
And because you can’t bear to see him in pain (whether or not because he’s so turned on he might just die), you concede. Give him what he wants.
Hands on his thighs, you let a little spit pool on your tongue before slowly dragging the tip of your tongue up his shaft.
“Fucking hell,” he curses, writhing from the contact.
You smile, and the lightness of your breath against the wet streak of your tongue makes him shiver.
The tip of his cock is already leaky with precum, his eagerness to be inside you so pathetically obvious. You avoid it, instead opting to repeat your previous moves. Slowly, you lick up his fat length, tongue flat as can be. You want him to feel as much of you as he can. Want him whining— begging —for your pussy.
If the precum seeping from his tip is a sign of desperation, then heaven only knows what the fuckin’ mess between your legs is. Every stroke of your tongue against him only serves to make you want him just as badly as he wants you.
Your hand reaches to wrap around his shaft, gently stroking his foreskin. Your tongue flicks against the base of his tip, right where you know he’s the most sensitive.
It’s no surprise when his grip on your ponytail tightens.
But it is a surprise when he lets go.
“Hm?” You chirp, looking up, just to make sure he’s all good.
He is—he just isn’t looking at you to confirm it. Instead, his upper body twists ever so slightly as he reaches for his bedside drawer.
You know it’s got a host of indecent artifacts—his sex toys, condoms, polaroids of you that are for his eyes only—but don’t give it much thought. Figure maybe he’s after a condom to make himself last longer, until you feel him tapping at your shoulder with the side of a small plastic bottle.
He doesn’t say anything.
Not immediately, at least.
What he wants is something he can’t really bring himself to ask for. Hopes that you’ll work it out for yourself.
As you take the bottle from him, a small chirp echoes from your throat, as if you’re asking for clarification. Again, Jeongguk hopes you’ll work it out. That he won’t have to shamelessly tell you what he desperately wants, cock twitching and leaking precum on his stomach.
The way you pause as you study the bottle, trying to read the text in the dim light of Jeongguk’s room, only adds to his apprehension—until he hears a soft smile exhaling from your lips when you realise exactly what it is: lube .
Never usually required, thanks to the fact Jeongguk makes you resemble a waterfall from just a look in your direction, you know the lube isn’t for you. It’s for him.
And given the state of conversations around sex over the past week or so, you know what he’s asking for.
After all, he’s the one who wrote that damn airplane in the first place. Told you straight up that he liked ass play way back in the days of the sticky notes (some of which remain on his wall, yet to be conquered).
His drawer only really has his things in it, though. You’ve not got any of your toys at his place. This is a preliminary. A follow-up, almost, to the night spent in the Min’s garden, doing things that probably scared a few dozen nocturnal animals.
“Yeah?” You encourage, lips pressing to his upper thigh. His body adjusts ever so slightly, as if he’s shy. Your hand wraps around his shaft, slowly rolling his foreskin up and down his length in just the right way to get his hands gripping his sheets.
“Don’t wanna talk about it,” he rasps through the pleasure of having you touch him. “Just want you to do it.”
“Talk about what?” You tease, ‘cause there’s no way he’ll actually enjoy what he’s asking for if he keeps being this uptight about it all. Relaxation is key.
“B,” he groans, this time out of frustration—and so you know you need to be the one to take the lead.
It just doesn’t feel right to take the lead, knowing he’s a little bit tense. You’ve always been so clear and consistent with each other when it comes to consent, and while you know what he wants, you wanna hear him say it first.
So you leave the bottle of lube next to his thigh and clamber up his body. Legs straddling his waist, you’re pleased that his hands come to stroke your thighs without a second thought. Conversely, your hands softly hold his cheeks, bringing him in for half a dozen pretty little kisses.
“Words are important. I’m not gonna be crude about it,” you tell him, ‘cause it makes a change to the way you joke around with one another. “I just love you, and I want to make you feel good.”
Jeongguks nose nudges back up against yours, as if to plead for more kisses (of which you give him, willingly).
“I love you more,” he argues into your lips, earning a giggle from you that somehow melts all of his worries away.
“Chess is always an option,” you remind him, but he shakes his head.
“Just… Fucking hell,” he groans as if it’s some sort of laborious task he really can’t be bothered to see through, which couldn’t be further from the truth. He’s just embarrassed. It’s all rather cute. Or at least it is until he continues. “Just finger my ass.”
He bashfully half whimpers, half laughs, and then adds a pouty, “Please.”
A smile sinks into your lips, and the way he seems almost shy makes your tummy feel all funny. He’s disastrously cute like this.
“I’ll make you feel so good,” you promise, lips brushing against his ear.
He nods. Knows you will. Lets his hands stroke up and down your back, bringing them around to cup your boobs. Squeezes. Smiles. Can’t resist himself when he questions, “Yeah?”
“Mhmm,” You nod, pulling back to sit upright just for his viewing pleasure. His hands are still holding your tits, gently caressing. He’ll never not love the sight of this. Of you. Of the way you respond to his touch.
“C’mere,” he grunts, pulling you back down, ‘cause he can’t let you go just yet. Your hands grip onto his bedframe as his lips eagerly latch onto one of your nipples. One of your hands drops to tangle in his smooth hair, a pretty little moan escaping your lips.
He takes it as a sign he’s doing something right. Switches up his sucking motion to flick his tongue against your hardened bud. Get you moaning all over again, the position of your legs spread over his waist, letting him know just how pleased you are to have him like this.
And while Jeongguk might have been asking you for favours, all he can think about is returning them.
Tapping on your ass, he’s a little breathless as he lets go of his latch on your nipple, and husks, “Up, baby. On my face. You before me.”
“Hm?” you languidly hum—not because you don’t know what he means, but because it goes against what he was asking for just minutes earlier.
Still, Jeongguk doesn’t care to explain his thought process (mainly because he doesn’t have one (he just likes having you in his mouth in any and all capacities)). Instead, he just continues tapping your ass until you get the message.
“You’re so impatient,” you lightly scold him while you do as he requests, but barely have time to position yourself before his arms are hooking over your legs, pulling your pussy to his mouth. “Oh fuck.”
He wastes no time suctioning his lips around your clit. He doesn’t care to be quiet about it. Eats you like it’s his last fuckin’ supper. Laps up against you.
It’s not just his tongue, though. It’s like he wants his whole fuckin’ face in your cunt. His nose rubs up against your clit, while his tongue greedily licks your entrance. There’s no such thing as perfect, but the way he’s proportioned is as close as it gets, you think. Your hips grind, a hand tangled in his hair, the way you both move entirely primal.
Hands squeezing at your ass, he encourages your movements. Wants you all over his face. Loves nothing more than being coated in you.
His tongue begins to focus now, though. He positions himself just right. Flicks against your clit at such a speed it’s hard to comprehend—and then he’s moaning. Vibrating against you. Delivering a sensation that could never be replicated.
“I’m close,” you rasp. Whine. Moan. “Don’t wanna cum. Not yet.”
And while he wants you to, Jeongguk knows why. Knows you wanna fuck him. Knows you wanna cum around his cock instead of on his face. Multiple orgasms have never been an issue, but it is late. You do need a somewhat early night.
He nods, easing up his tongue, slowly sucking on your clit. The movements of his head as he sucks only serve to make you feel like you might cum regardless, so you shakily (and regretfully) pull away.
When you reposition yourself, he pulls you against his lips for the messiest, most obscene kiss possible. It’s all tongue, and little else. The taste of your cunt. The sweetness of his whines. The filth of how much he loves sinning with you.
There's nobody else he could be like this with. Only you. Only ever you.
Straddled over his hips, you grind gently, his thick cock perfectly snug between your lips. Wet and swollen, they feel like silk against him. Jeongguk knows, given the chance, that he’d be able to cum like this. Easy.
That’s not what he wants, though, so you retrace your steps. Sink back down. Don’t fuck around this time. Instead, you take him in your mouth without hesitation. Return the favour he’s just bestowed upon you.
Head bobbing up and down his fat length, your hand wraps around the base of his cock. Pulling back, you spit against him, using your hand to spread it, gaining momentum. Loose with your grip, you focus on the tip of his sensitive cock, jerking him until he’s whining. Whimpering.
And then, you let your tongue stroke against his balls.
“Oh, fuck,” he whines, his hips pulsing beneath you.
It’s all the approval you need for your hand to get a little tighter, and for your lips to take one of his balls in your mouth. It’s a sensation Jeongguk fuckin’ loves, if done right—and of course, you know how to do it perfectly for him.
You take his ecstasy as a chance to move things along. Know he’s feeling good. Know he wants more.
Pulling back, you sit on your heels. Neither of you speak, but Jeongguk does slowly nod when he sees you reaching for the bottle of lube next to his body. Trepidation hangs in the air. This territory is uncharted, and it’s been a little while since you last ventured so far south—but you’ve got a roadmap. Know the way. Even if you didn’t, you like to think intuition would guide you, regardless.
Warming it a little bit in your hands, you’re slow. Cautious. Careful, knowing that he’s probably feeling a little more vulnerable than usual.
Hands slick with the gel, you wrap a palm around his shaft. Ease him into the feeling. It’s not like it’s a new sensation, but the pair of you rarely ever use lube. You’re always wet enough. He nods. Lets his eyes close as your other hand gently massages against his balls.
A little further south, you venture. He’s not a stranger to your tongue against his taint, but your fingers are less frequent. He's not as well acquainted with the sensation, but he likes it. Legs spreading a little further, Jeongguk makes himself available for you.
Smiling at just how cute he looks, you’re a curious mix of enamoured and outrageously turned on. Just like nobody could ever make him feel the way you do, nobody could ever make you feel the way he does.
“You’re so hot,” you tell him, gently wanking his cock as two of your fingers stroke up and down his taint. You apply a little more pressure. Replace his bashful smile with a wanting gasp.
Slick with lube, you let your middle finger go lower. Slowly, you press against his rim. Watch him closely as his brows furrow. There’s that look of desperation once more, and the assurance that yes, he wants this. Wants you.
You count in your head. 1, 2, 3… make sure he doesn’t stop moving his hips. If anything, he’s edging himself down. Encouraging you to apply more pressure.
And so you do. Slowly, eyes trained on his pretty, pathetic face, you push your middle finger against his tight hole, until the muscle eases.
“Fuck,” he whimpers, the penetration of a single finger overwhelmingly pleasurable for him. His eyes flicker open, landing on yours as your finger begins to curl ever so gently. Just a little. Just enough.
Chest heaving, Jeongguk looks beautiful in a way that’s hard to put into words—and when you slowly pull out, he looks ruined in a way that’s also hard to comprehend.
His lips hang slack, chest heaving as his eyes burn into you like the heat of a thousand stars. Face dewy with sweat, hair sticks to his forehead, the storminess of his gaze quickly triggers a whirlpool within your stomach. There’s a neediness to him as he swallows back a breath, lips coming together so that he can lick them, before his pout forms that pretty little o-shape once more.
Breathless as he speaks, Jeongguk rasps, “Again.”
The corner of your lips twitch into a smirk. “Yeah, babe?”
“Yeah,” he pathetically nods, fucked out but somehow still painfully desperate for more. Of course he is, though. It’s you. No one gets him like this. No one ever will. His brows furrow together, his tongue flicking against the silver hoops in the corner of his mouth, as his eyes drop to his pathetically weeping cock. He’s so hard. So keen. So needy—and what he needs right now is you. “Please, B. More.”
You tease against his entrance, applying just enough pressure to make him gasp. It’s like a reward, to hear him like this. As if you’ve done something truly remarkable.
Your other hand wraps around the base of his cock, adding to the electricity surging through him. He reaches down. Wraps his hand around yours. Encourages you. Wants more. Needs more. And so you give him more.
Finger pushing into his tight entrance, you’re slow. Painfully so, though you aren’t causing any actual pain. Jeongguk just wants you to hit that spot.
“Yeah?” You check in.
Breathless, nodding his head even though his eyes are closed, he says, “Yeah.”
Your finger curls. Strokes. Searches. Finds.
And Jeongguk moans in a way you don’t think you’ve ever heard before. It’s a whimper, almost. A plea. Or rather, a confession, maybe.
Your hands work in tandem, your finger stroking right against the spot that makes him whine, while your other hand strokes him in tempo. He’s stimulated in a way he isn’t used to. In a way he never really thought was possible.
There’s a vulnerability that comes with penetration. Far easier to fuck someone than it is to get fucked.
When he looks down towards you, it's like looking through a telescope; galaxies in his big brown eyes. Wide and wanting, he'll give you all the stars in his eyes, no questions asked, no fee charged.
It’s when your head dips to press wet kisses against his taint that his whines really begin to get desperate. Has always loved your mouth. Loves it when it does things it shouldn’t.
A girl like you shouldn’t have your nose pressed to a ballsack or her tongue mere millimetres away from an asshole, but the way you focus on delivering him pleasure would suggest otherwise. You’re made for this. Made for him.
It’s when you whine, though, obsessed with his body's response to you, that he really begins to get twitchy. His hips pulse ever so gently, encouraging the movements of both hands.
“Yeah?” you breathlessly whisper, smirking at how a man so strong is just absolute putty in your hands. “You fucking yourself with my hands, huh?”
Jeongguk is beyond the point of pride. Has no need for dignity. Just wants to feel good.
“Yeah,” he admits between desperate breaths. “Gonna make me cum so fuckin’ hard.”
Everything is moving in the same chaotic rhythm: his chest, his beating heart, his pulsing hips. Jeongguk’s cock is twitching, the sensation of you massaging his prostate taking him closer and closer to the point of release. He isn’t gonna last, and you don't want him to.
Your hand grips even tighter around the base of his cock, the stimulation impossible to fight against. There’s only so much he can take.
“B,” he whines. “Oh, fuck.”
“Cum for me,” you tell him, not even caring for your lost orgasm from earlier. He can make it up to you later. You keep the pace of your finger consistent, but wank him off faster. He whimpers and he writhes, but he doesn’t ease up. “C’mon, baby. Show me how good I make you feel, yeah?”
If there’s one thing that drives him wild, it’s when you call him sweet little names.
“Please, baby,” you beg, because you know just the right buttons to press. His hands grip his bed sheets, eyes struggling to stay open. He’s seconds away from death, or so it feels. A little death, at least. His legs begin to twitch. The onslaught of what is about to happen is unmistakable. “That’s it, baby,” you coo. “Show me how good it feels.”
“B,” he tries to speak, but can’t. All he can do it succumb to the pleasure. Whine. Mewl. Moan.
And then it’s happening; the evidence of how fucking good you are for him painting his abdomen. His cock is pathetic as it spurts ropes of thick, hot cum onto his belly. White and wet, it’s never-ending. He cums and he cums; gasps and gasps.
It’s not until he begins to twitch, chest heaving, cock spent, that you withdraw from him. Immediately, you gently begin to trail your tongue across his hard abs, cleaning up the evidence of how much he likes having you in his ass. You're keeping his secrets. Promising you'll never tell a soul.
“Shit,” he curses, all breathless and fucked out, one arm over his chest, while his other hand reaches down to stroke the side of your head. “Fuck.”
Giggling now, you clamber up to join him, and Jeongguk cares not for the fact your cum is still on your tongue. In fact, he deliberately stokes his against yours, swapping the evidence of his pleasure between you both. Moaning into your lips, he’s spent in a way he never has been before.
“God, I love you,” he whines into your mouth. Gets needy all over again. “You know that, huh? You know how much I love you?”
With a bashful nod, you find yourself giggling. “You know I know.”
“Good,” he nods, pulling away to face the ceiling, eyes closed, trying to get a little breath back. You snuggle into him, all rather sweetly considering what you’ve just done. “‘Cause I do. And I mean it. You’re literally, like, the love of my life.”
“Who knew all it would take was a little ass play to get your saying such soppy shit,” you tease him, pressing a kiss against his chest. “Should have done this months ago.”
He laughs now, too. “Just cause I didn’t say it back then doesn’t mean I didn’t think it.”
The pair of you descend into a comfortable warmth, giggling and joking, until you get up to wash yourself up a little. Jeongguk protests. Says he needs to return the favour—but ultimately agrees to wait until the morning.
“Need to sleep at some point, babe,” you tell him as you both meander to the bathroom. Jeongguk makes a mental note to get a place with an en-suite when he moves out. In a pair of boxers, he watches you fondly as you wash your hands in the bathroom sink, all love drunk and bleary-eyed.
You’re in one of his shirts, and it drapes over your body in a way that it would never drape over him. He likes it better on you. In fact, he likes most things in his life better with the addition of you. Thinks life would be impossible, if he were ever to lose you.
“I think I’d die, yanno,” he mindlessly says, watching you plait your hair to stop it from tangling in the night. “If we ever broke up or weren’t together, I’d think I’d just die.”
You laugh, because it’s absurd. Both the concept of dying of a broken heart, and the idea that you would ever break up.
“Don’t speak it into existence, then,” you tease. “It’s a full moon, Gguk. Can’t be manifesting things like that on a night like this.”
“I’m not,” he assures you, because if anything, he’s trying to do the opposite. Not once does he think to tell you that the full moon has nothing to do with it, or some other belittling remark about believing in the stars, like you know most guys would. Why would he though? A star is the closest thing he knows to religion, and he’s looking at it right now.
“Well, good,” you hum, turning to face him, hair now secure. “Let's just agree to not break up, and that way you won’t die.”
“Sounds good,” he sleepily smiles, tugging on your hand, guiding you back to his bedroom.
It’s a ridiculous conversation for a ridiculous concept.
Or at least, in the warmth of lust-drunk night, it is.
In the cold light of day, stark and sterile, everything has the potential to change.
After all, bad decisions are your forte, are they not?
#byholly#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook smut#jungkook ff#jk ff#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagine#bangtan fic#jungkook fluff#non idol au#bts fanfic#bangtan ff#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook x reader#bad decisions#dappleddaisies
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MRS TELEVISION | a. frederick
summary: a scroll through your internet presence as 'mrs television'. [social media AU.]
pairing: fem!reader x arthur frederick (arthurtv)
faceclaim: bri kerr
notes: first piece for mrs television out of the wag universe. bri is gonna be the main fc I use for mrs television, hopefully you like it!
liked by arthurtv, arthurfhill and 1,129 others
yourinstagram helped out on someone else's video for once, chris finally let me leave the dungeon!!!
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user she kills me
user hottest producer award goes to...
chrismd_10 drinking on the job?
yourinstagram constantly
user she looks peppered in the 3rd slide
user first risky pic from y/n ever on the 6th slide
georgeclarkey thanks for the candid of me and my man 😌😌
arthurtv please someone get him away from me
user y/n's friend is inhaling that guinness 🫢
arthurtv great photography for the 1st and 3rd pictures, big fan!
yourinstagram humble as ever mr television
liked by georgeclarkey, wroetoshaw and 1,398 others
yourinstagram lots of fun at work recently, constantly mixing business and pleasure 🥂 chrismd thanks for keeping me employed even if I drink at work
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user I can't tell if shes joking about drinking at work 😭
user its definitely a joke, most bts has y/n yelling at chris to pull his head in lol
user she keeps him in line!
yourinstagram have been going on 15 years
user we thank you for your service 🫡
arthurtv no jerseys at the match???
yourinstagram the nerve!
chrismd_10 who's that handsome fella in the last slide?
miniminter leave the md clutches and come to sidemen
yourinstagram throw in talia and you have a deal
georgeclarkey you drunk
yourinstagram seems to be the new normal now, just embracing my new brand (like you and your Invisalign ads)
georgeclarkey too far
liked by callux, arthurtv and 1,781 others
yourinstagram more of a traveller atm than a producer! enjoyed spain very very much, definitely swipe to the 8th slide to see what arthur classifies as a front flip
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arthurtv it's called being flexible, you wouldn't know anything about it
yourinstagram your six-year-old sister does a better front flip than you
arthurtv leave flora out of this
user guys stop flirting in front of us 😭😭 the false hope hurts
georgeclarkey always appreciate meeting a fan
yourinstagram die
calfreezy that photo was sacred y/n
chrismd_10 I feel ashamed, embarrassed
willne the absolute cheek
user why is no one talking about how good y/n looks in these pictures??
faithlouisak Im thinking the same thing?
user literal island princess
user is that danny aarons in the 5th picture 😭😭
yourinstagram dont even ask how he got the invite
chrismd_10 we're still not sure tbh
liked by callux, arthurtv and 1,901 others
yourinstagram filmed a very *cool* video this week 🌨️
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arthurtv again, who is your photographer???? such raw talent is exquisite
yourinstagram im very close to letting him go actually, you can have him!
user arthur being the first to comment on her posts fuels my mrs television heart really, give us something guys
user I love them at my core I can't lie
user she is just so pretty
chrismd_10 get back to work
yourinstagram I literally just want to breathe chris
user someone make chris let y/n go, she needs to be a free woman
bezhinga faiths phone is dead but she says 'u look leng'
yourinstagram I love you faith kelly x
liked by callux, arthurtv and 2,193 others
yourinstagram very good friends! (happy one year doofus)
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user A WHOLE ASS YEAR???????
user who even are they????????
user I feel like I have been swindled here miss l/n
user can we finally call her mrs television??? shes more than chris' producer now, she's one of us
arthurtv best friends for life! (I love you very much)
user I can't tell if im going to cry or faint tbh
user why is he always playing chess, arthur PLEASE
yourinstagram I'm asking this question all the time?
chrismd_10 I take credit for this relationship btw
yourinstagram how so?
chrismd_10 if I hadn't sat with arthur in class and then dragged you into our group project, I like to think this wouldn't have happened
georgeclarkey I love all of the fans so much but please stop sending me these pictures of my fiancé wrapped around another woman
user GEORGE PLEASE
#arthurtv x reader#arthurtv#arthur frederick#arthur frederick x reader#arthurtv imagines#arthurtv fluff#cel's social media aus
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Bill Headcanons
I have enough of these to fill up my guts whatever that means
Includes: Normal, readerxbill platonic, readerxbill romantic, freaky stuff he into
Normal
He definitely said skibidi once because he had no idea what it meant or where it came from
He would probably honest to god enjoy interacting with an iPad kid because he thinks they're fucking funny
Tea person over coffee
Probably reads books on the randomest subjects. Mostly they all have human psychology in common, though. Or anatomy.
His favorite kids movie is Wreck It Ralph, favorite adult movie is Shawn of The Dead (He doesn't believe British people are actually real and finds the movie funny), favorite horror movie is probably something really obscure and is just plain goreporn or something like that.
(In my opinion) I feel like if he had a more anthropomorphic form (legs and arms and body) it would probably be something VERY weird core or something like that. Like, extra limbs, weird ass colors, and random effects. He'd probably keep the triangle imagery, though.
Would definitely just say random ass shit to freak people out
He has a thing for teeth. Not, like, a weird thing or a sex thing. He just really thinks they're cool.
If he had an iPad... he'd spend all day either being your standard reddit user or an iPad kid.
Probably like King from The Owl House sometimes.
Speaking of TOH, he met The Collector once. He thought the kid was neat and played a few games of chess with him before leaving. Probably one of the inspirations for The Collector's insaneness
He also met The Core from Amphibia. Or at least knew the core existed.
His favorite human color is either red, yellow, or orange. It's really everything on the hot side of the color wheel tbh.
Platonic X reader
Dream invasion time-- He would SO rummage through your mind if you made a deal with him.
If you pissed him off, he'd probably jab a fork in your arm while possessing you. He wouldn't be as insane as he was with Stanford's body, though. He wants yours to work properly.
Dream demon or not, he probably had a Drea- NIGHTMARE... it was SO a nightmare... about having more fun with you if you built the portal.
Would be touchy. Not in a weird way (if you ask, he'll stop) but he'll just, like, pat your shoulder or something like that.
If Weirdmageddon 2 happens he is SO finding you and inviting you to his party. You're coming, too. You don't got a choice. Womp womp.
If one of his friends were to eat you, he'd probably be disappointed as all hell, but it really depends on how close you are with him. Besties? He'd kill that monster and resurrect you with the parts left. Just acquaintances? Who are you again?
Would still possess you even after he gets a physical form. (he likes to prank you)
Romantic X reader
Clingy bastard. If your insert is mortal, he'll be by your side 24/7 if Weirdmageddon is happening. Even if your insert ISN'T mortal.
Would be even MORE touchy.
He'd set up boundaries and be clear with his own while probably ignoring yours. (he isn't a great partner)
It's probably a toxic one-sided relationship at first. Bill is NOT a good person at ALL. He always had a goal in mind. He sees his romantic interest of you as a little thing that just ALSO happened.
Probably gets flustered by affection really easily if you're the one showing it.
He won't know much about human affections, so you'll probably have to show him the ropes.
Before you do THAT, though, he'll probably just bite you (with his freaky fucking eyeball mouth thing). Not even as a sexual or possessive thing. He just likes to bite you. It's like an awkward thing he can't control. Get too close and he can feel your warmth? Bite. Bite. BITE. It's not light stuff, though. It's always hard enough to draw blood. Purposeful or not. (It's not on purpose)
He doesn't get JEALOUS, but he does get a little insecure if you start getting infatuated with someone else.
If you're hurt from someone, you BEST know he's overprotective as fuck. Your puny mortal body is pathetic, but if you lose it, he loses you, too.
You aren't aging ever again. You aren't DYING ever again. No. He won't let you die ever. Body is giving out? Here's a new one. Forgetting...? No, he'll plant more memories in your mind. He's too late and you're dead...? No you aren't... You'll always be conscious. Whether your body is rotting around your mind or not.
Sex junk
Sadist. 100% all the way. Not even light things, like slaps. No, if you consent, he will full on break your bones.
He doesn't feel sexual gratification like humans do, so it's more of just something he'll do to either please or displease you. Whichever one, it's almost always about how you feel.
He doesn't have a dick, so you'll be on the receiving end always. Unless you REALLY want to give.
He has a giant eyeball on him. He definitely likes to watch.
Always tops because there isn't much you can do to dominate him. He'll try to let you if you really wanna, but it probably won't be the easiest.
Blood kink. That's it. He thinks it's so pretty on you. Especially if it's yours.
#x reader#headcannons#writing#gravity falls#book of bill#bill cipher#yandere bill cipher#bill cipher x reader#platonic#romantic#smut
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looking through your eyes + four
authors note: hi! thank you so much for everyone who has left such kind words for this story! i'm so appreciative for the support and interest!
this one, i think, depicts a lot of contradicting thoughts and feelings for our two favorite characters. that's intentional.
i also take some creative liberties with medical and wrestling shit. let's just go with it, friends, por favor.
if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!
cw/tw: language, violence, sexual harassment, hints at past self-harm, allusions to past suicide attempt, references to traumatic pasts
song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes
words: 10k
Roman has spent years coming home to a dark, empty house. It’s been his preference for just as long, enjoying the isolation following day after day of shit that needs to be handled. Because that’s usually how shit plays out for him. Roman’s always calling the shots, always figuring out how to navigate difficult, sticky situations.
It's just what he does.
It’s why he’s been able to advance the Bloodline as much as he has. Because Roman is a man playing professional chess among a group of elementary checker players.
And he’d never voice or admit it to anyone, but the weight does sometimes get to him in one way or another. So, he’s learned to appreciate solitude.
But he’s not met with solitude upon entering his home, which is both surprising and irritating considering it’s pushing 2 o’clock in the morning.
The only sound he should hear is the sound of his heavy footsteps from the front door to the bedroom. Instead, his feet carry him into the source of said sounds that are more pots banging and dishes being washed.
That’s how he immediately knows who it is without needing to check. But, Roman is more curious as to why she’s in the damn kitchen at this time of night instead of sleeping than the noise itself.
And he goes to ask as such when he gets even closer and realizes there’s more to the sound than clanging pots and running water. A soft, melodic, almost soothing voice singing in a language he doesn’t understand but recognizes as Spanish.
Solana is singing, and she’s singing well, beautiful even. So much so that he finds himself leaning against the wall closest to the kitchen, watching as she moves about, earbuds pressed in her ears making her oblivious to his presence.
There’s a sense of relaxation to her, an almost smile as she sings. She doesn’t seem nervous nor skittish….just at peace.
That is she turns around and realizes he's standing there, watching her.
She snatches her earbuds out and immediately jumps on the train of unnecessary apologies. “I’m sorry! I didn’t—-you said you’d be back late.”
He chuckles, calmly pointing out, “it’s almost 2am.”
Her face is flushed red with unnecessary embarrassment. “I thought—I guess I figured that meant you’d come back in the morning.”
“I sleep in my own bed, if I can help it.” It’s a comfort thing, a nod to his preference for solitude. He’s never even stayed the night with Samantha, mostly because he knows her ass would see that as a damn marriage proposal.
Well, maybe not anymore.
“Why are you still up?”
“I—I couldn’t sleep.” It’s a simple answer he’s certain also includes a very real, dark backstory as to why she can’t sleep. He’s been there.
He gets it.
“I’ll be done soon—"
“You can stay up as long as you want. I don’t care.” And it’s true. The house is big enough for her to be making as much noise as she needs, and he probably wouldn’t hear anything from where his room is. He also recognizes the misery that comes with wanting but not being able to sleep, so if being in the kitchen is her distraction, then he’s good with that.
Of course, she continues with the apologies. “I’m sorry about the music—I just—the house was too quiet. I—I don’t like the quiet.”
“Solana.” He has to interrupt her. Roman’s not in the mood for her apology tour. Granted, he does hone in on the part of not liking the quietness of the house. Of course she would be the opposite of him. “I don’t care. Do what you want. Shit doesn’t impact me.”
Roman can see she’s unsure of how to take his words, most likely wondering if there’s some catch, if it’s followed up with a stipulation. But, there is none. As long as it doesn’t impact him, she can do what she wants.
“You have a nice voice,” he compliments, because again, it’s the truth. He’d never taken her as the singing type, but gradually, Roman is starting to see there may be more to Solana than meets the eye.
Her unsure expression remains unchanged with the exception of her blush deepening as she mumbles a quiet, “thank you.”
Compliments of any sort seem to bother her, or maybe it’s less they bother her and more she’s unsure of how to respond because she’s not used to them.
He’d lean more on the side of that being the case.
Nevertheless, Roman decides to leave her be. “I’m going to bed.”
“Okay,” she says almost sheepishly, adding a quiet, “goodnight.”
Roman takes her in, the quietness and passiveness no longer as irritating as he once thought and believed it to be. It might still irk him, but the level of irritation isn’t as high as it used to be.
Whatever that means.
“Goodnight, Solana….”
————
From day one of moving into Roman's mansion, Solana has noticed the watch dogs that occasionally patrol the premises along with the armed guards. And while she’s always been tempted to ask to pet one, she’s also always decided against it. These dogs, like their handlers, are trained killers, not emotional support animals.
They’re not there for her to treat like objects.
But it’s when she walks outside, ready to head off to work, that she notices one guard with a dog Solana hasn’t seen before, a puppy, that she finds it in her to approach. With a couple minutes to spare before she has to leave for work, interacting with a dog seems like a nice way to start off the day.
Hand on her purse strap, she shoves back her anxiety about approaching this strange man, asking in a soft voice, “i–is he new?”
The guard sizes her up and down, answering with a gruff, “yeah.”
Solana looks down at the dog who’s also staring up at her with just as much curiosity. Smiling gently, she carefully crouches down and waits for him to move closer. There's a generous leeway of his leash that would allow him to do so.
Sure enough, the dog walks over to her, ears down. Giggling, she cautiously moves to pet him. “You’re so sweet….” And he is. Solana wonders if he’ll retain that sweetness once he undergoes his training. Unlikely. “Good boy…”
“He’s not a fucking pet.” The guard harshly scolds, giving a tug on the leash that makes the dog start to growl. Solana frowns, recognizing he’s annoyed with her interruption.
“I’m sor—”
But before she can finish her sentence, there’s a flash before her that seems almost too quick for her vision to process. But, when she does, she realizes Roman is now present, directly in front of the guard, hand wrapped around his throat.
“Speak to her like that again, and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out your mouth.” His voice is as menacing and terrifying as the fire in his eyes. Roman shoves the man forward and demands. “Apologize. Now.”
The man is coughing, struggling to regulate his breathing but still manages to cough up a muttered, “I’m sorry.”
Solana feels and probably looks stumped at hearing such a thing. She can’t recall the last time someone has ever uttered those words to her. Understandably, she doesn’t know how to respond or react.
“Leave,” Roman demands. And Solana isn’t sure she’s seen a man haul off as quickly as he does, guiding the dog along with him.
Roman takes in her appearance as she stands up, nervously brushing any invisible lint off her pants. “You good?”
She nods, still not quite knowing how to take this. How to take Roman seemingly defending her. Or maybe he’s just defending what belongs to him. It has to be the latter of the two, because why would he care about defending her?
Red-faced, she tries to explain her actions. “It—it was my fault. I just—I saw the dog, and I just—I wanted to pet it.”
“Why are you apologizing for someone being rude to you? Does that shit make sense to you?” When he says it like that, no, it doesn’t. But it’s clearly meant to be rhetorical, as he then asks, “you like dogs?”
Nodding, she clarifies. “Small dogs, mostly. Big ones, umm, they kinda scare me.” As do most things. This, she’s sure, he’s noticed by now. “Uhh—what time do you want dinner ready?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll be back late tonight.”
“Oh.” Solana is unsure why there’s a strange sense of disappointment in her belly at this. Late….
In her experience with her dad and brother, that usually means they won’t be back until the next day, most likely in the morning.
This should make her feel a bit relieved, not having to be on edge, feeling worried about upsetting him.
Even if the only thing regarding her that she’s seen upset him is when he perceives she’s being disrespected.
She’s not quite sure what to make of that either.
“Ayo, Lil’ Soso.” A new voice enters the conversation, one she’s gradually growing comfortable and used to. Jey walks out with a rubbermaid container in his hand, chewing obnoxiously as he approaches Solana and Roman. “What are these things? They’re pretty good.”
There’s a couple of things to process in that one interaction, starting with the nickname Jey has used to refer to her in the times she’s run into him in the house. The twins, along with Paul, seem to be at the mansion often. The interactions though, have allowed her to feel less tense around him. Around Jimmy too.
She hasn’t had enough interaction with Paul to feel that way about him, and she’s certain that won’t change. He seems only concerned with Roman and no one else, which is valid and fair considering his role as Roman’s chief advisor.
Going back to his question, she answers, “conchas.”
“Con what?”
His expression and delivery make her smile. “Conchas. It’s a Mexican pan dulce. Sweet bread.”
“I don’t know half of what you said, but this shit good as hell. You got any more?”
“Don’t you have fucking food at your house?” Solana would never show or admit to it, but it’s sometimes funny to her how Roman seems almost always annoyed with his eccentric cousins. There’s no doubt in her mind though that he wouldn’t hesitate to kill for them, that he’s probably done so. And vice versa.
But they also seem to get on his nerves just as much.
“Man, Nicki on that shit again, talking about she ain’t cooking until I start treating her right. Me and the kids been eating out.”
Kids? That surprises her. She didn’t know Jey was a father.
“Solana! When you train with Naomi, can you exchange some recipes with her or something?” Jimmy also joins in the conversation, walking over while rubbing his stomach. “Cause I don’t know what that meal was in the blue container, but shit slapped.”
It takes a minute for her to remember which one that was. She’s always been a bit meticulous about separating her meals accordingly. “Carnitas Huevos Rancheros.”
Jimmy hesitates. “Yeah sure, that.”
“Am I running a fucking food pantry?” It’s hard to tell if Roman is genuinely annoyed. Something tells her it’s that type of irritation he naturally gets with the twins but won’t actually do anything about. “It’s not her job to feed you idiots.”
“I don’t mind,” she offers, adding. “I–I like to cook.” And it’s the truth. It reminds Solana of her mom, of all the times she’d spend in the kitchen learning from and spending time with the one and only person on this planet who ever loved her.
“See, Uce, she likes to cook,” Jey points out, wiping the crumbs off his fingers on his pants and tucking the now empty container under his arm. “I’ll just take this off your hands.”
Solana’s watch vibrating, reminding her that her shift starts in half an hour, is the perfect reminder that while this conversation is comical, it’s also interfering with her schedule. She’s also certain Solo is waiting patiently, or impatiently, by the SUV for her to jump in so they can get a move on. “I—I’ve gotta get to work, but I can have the food ready by tomorrow. I’ll just come home and cook after training.”
“If you feel like it,” Roman adds, and she knows better than to push back and tell him cooking is one of the few escapes she has. It’s become even more of an escape without the anxiety and pressure of her dad and brother demanding the food always be ready in sometimes unrealistic time frames and lashing out when that doesn’t happen.
To Roman’s credit, if he’s ever been annoyed with waiting a few extra minutes for meals, he’s done a perfect job not showing as such.
She simply nods, acknowledging his stipulation, offering a quiet ‘bye’ as she jogs off to the SUV with Solo ready to escort her to work.
It’s when she’s gone that Jimmy walks up beside Roman. “Man, she can cook, she don’t got a smartass mouth, and she got a body? Shit, Uce, ain’t you glad I told you to go with her?” Roman doesn’t offer a reply, but he definitely gives Jimmy that look that lets his cousin know to get away from him. Roman’s always been big on personal space.
“Does she cook every night?” Jey comes up, asking with an almost level of excitement. “Shit, me and the kids finna start coming over here.”
“Shut up.” The hell they will. Roman is still adjusting to living with someone. The last thing he needs is his cousin and his spawns running around his place, making noise, breaking and touching shit. Not going to happen. “Is Paul already at the office?”
“Yeah. He’s got the updated figures for you to go over. And the RKO proposal was sent over as well for you to review.”
Nodding, Roman starts to create a mental agenda for tasks he needs to complete for the day. And it goes without saying that he’s forever impressed how his cousins are easily able to slide back and forth between professional bag and bumbling morons.
It’s one of the reasons he keeps them around and as high up in command as they are.
“Good,” Roman acknowledges, sliding his sunglasses over his eyes. “Let’s go.”
————
“Hey!”
Naomi’s smile is just as bright and genuine as the first time Solana met her, and that’s something she doesn’t know how to take. A part of her figured Naomi was just being nice to her because Roman was around, because she was given an order, and no one defies the Tribal Chief’s orders.
And maybe she could even chalk this up to being an order as well, Roman tasking her with training Solana on how to fight, hence the continued kindness.
Regardless of the motivating factor, this woman is clearly a capable and trained fighter. A killer.
Solana would do well to stay on her good side.
“It’s good to see you. We didn’t really get a chance to talk much, but obviously, I’m Naomi. Jimmy’s wife.” For some reason, Solana can see it. Can see these two together, even if she’s only been around both less than a handful of times. “I train a lot of the new recruits, mostly women, some men.”
“Men?”
Naomi chuckles. “That’s typically their reaction too. Right before I remind them who I am and what I can do.”
Solana isn’t sure she wants to know the answer to either of those.
“Just out of curiosity, do you have any kind of combat training? Fighting knowledge in general?” It’s a valid question that only has one embarrassing answer. Solana guesses that Naomi picks up on this embarrassment, adding gently, “it’s okay if you don’t. It just gives me a baseline on where we should start.”
“No—I—I’ve never done anything like this before.” And she’s still not sure if she wants to, not sure what Roman thinks she will get from this. Him, along with everyone else around her, learned how to shoot a gun at the same time they learned how to walk. She doesn’t think she’s ever even held a gun. There’s no way humanly possible she could ever be even a fraction as good at this.
And Roman has to know this.
So, why is he making me do it?
Again, either Naomi is insanely perceptive or Solana is much worse at hiding her emotions than she initially believed.
She’d bet on the latter of the two.
“He doesn’t want you to be like us. He just—”
“He wants you to stop being so damn weak,” a new voice interjects. Solana recognizes the tall, intimidating woman from before when Roman had taken her to the Warehouse. She hadn’t had any direct interaction, but just the mere fact alone that she’d simply looked at Solana with disgust told her all she needed to know. “Wants you to grow a backbone.”
“Nia.” Naomi’s smile is dropped, traded for an intense stare. “Lay off her, okay? You heard what Roman said.”
“Oh yeah, we have to be nice to her.” Nia’s smile is mocking, her unimpressed gaze taking in Solana from head to toe. But Solana focuses on what Nia just said versus her judgmental countenance. Did Roman really tell them to be nice to her? Why? Why would he do that?
Nia walks over, crossing her arms over her body. “Well, here’s some kind advice, I can tell from one look at you that life hasn’t been very nice to you. But that doesn’t make you special.”
Naomi steps in. “Nia!”
“Bad shit happens to people all the time. At some point, you have to stop allowing yourself to be a victim.” If not for the fact that Solana knows Nia can’t stand her, she’d almost think Nia is offering what she believes to be genuine advice vs judging her. “You’re here. You survived it. Make that survival worth something.”
Naomi pushes Nia away from Solana, saying something to her that appears to be in defense of Solana, which she’d appreciate if not for the fact that she’s now in her head.
Nothing Nia said is inherently wrong. The world is undoubtedly both good and bad, perfect yet imperfect, wholly and incompletely balanced. These are all facts she’s well aware of, but what Nia doesn’t know or understand yet is that a person still being here doesn’t mean they survived.
Solana is already broken.
There is no survival.
There’s just existence.
“Don’t listen to Nia,” Naomi advises. Looking around, Solana sees that at some point in her dissociation, Nia departed. Naomi continues with that same warm smile. “She can be a bitch sometimes, but she does mean well…..occasionally.” Hands on her hip, Naomi brings the attention back to the whole reason Solana is even at the Warehouse. “How about we just start with flexibility and mobility? Most of us are smaller than the men, and you definitely are, girl.”
Small……
That’s a word Solana has never thought to use to describe herself.
“Being smaller means we can move around faster, can navigate around an attacker in a bit of a quicker way. But, you also have to be able to move in a way that’s lithe. Don’t worry. I gotchu, girl.”
They are reassuring words, words that Solana is grateful for, especially as they begin and she feels completely out of her element. Because she is. Solana isn’t the least bit lithe, and she’s certain her hand eye coordination is straight up shit.
But regardless of all that, Naomi remains kind, patient, and even makes conversation with her.
It doesn’t feel like she’s being made to do this, but more like something she gets to do. And Solana is grateful for that interaction, for the space to not feel like she’s burdening someone. That feels nice. So, so nice.
But equilibrium is a hard thing to achieve and even harder to maintain, so while one safe space is being created, another unsafe space is gradually forming in the midst of her oblivion.
Austin Theory and Grayson Waller, two upcoming, arrogant, fighters and wannabe heads have used the Warehouse for their training space for the past few months after finally proving and gaining access to the elite training grounds.
And while the initiation and acceptance process was brutal and would ward most off from fucking up their membership status, Austin and Grayson have always been hardheaded, too blinded by their own hubris to recognize when they’re about to shoot themselves in the foot.
And shooting themselves is the least of their worries when Grayson is casually surveying the gym to see who’s present, his eyes landing on a woman in particular who catches his interest almost instantaneously.
“Well, who do we have here?” Austin is confused initially, Grayson motioning across the way to where Solana completes her cooldown with Naomi.
Immediately, Austin scoffs. “Since when does this place offer a weight watchers class?”
Chuckling, Grayson still pushes back. “Hers is in the right places though, mate,” Grayson again advises Austin to watch Solana as she happens to be leaning back, palms flat on the ground making her top hug against her chest.
Austin makes a face. “Decent.”
“Who is she?” Grayson asks again as Austin notices a semi-familiar face walking nearby.
“Melo.”
Carmelo shifts his Beats headphones so they’re no longer covering his ears. “Whassup?”
Austin subtly gestures to Solana, asking, “who is that?”
Carmelo follows the line of vision and almost immediately snatches his eyes back to the duo. “Yo. You fuckin’ crazy?”
“What?”
Carmelo repeats himself, a sense of urgency in his voice. “Do you know who that is?”
“Pretty sure that’s what we just fucking asked you, dumbass,” Austin slaps him upside the head. “Now who is she?”
“Solana Miller. Well, Solana Reigns now, I guess.” Carmelo lowers his voice, as if speaking too loudly will attract too much attention. And he’s not entirely wrong. “Roman’s wife.”
Grayson makes a face, looking between Carmelo and Austin for elaboration. “Reigns got married? Bullshit. That bloke is the last man to ever walk down the aisle.”
“You two would do well getting your head from up your asses every once in a while. It’s a recent thing, but still a thing. So unless you want your insides literally ripped from out of you, it’d be best to leave her the fuck alone.”
Austin, the most smug of the two, is the first to protest. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those. Everyone makes Roman out to be this big bad who can’t be touched. He defends, what, once every six months?” Austin scoffs. The fear that the “Head of the Table” seems to have over everyone has never made sense to him. Sure, he’s heard things, even seen some things, but that’s always been because Roman called the shot. He’s not the one actually taking or making them. “Everyone knows he has his heron boys do his dirty work for him.”
“Plus, isn’t the guy pushing 40? What the fuck is he going to do?” Grayson laughs.
“Break his fucking hip trying to chase us.”
Carmelo shakes his head as the two dipshits laugh at their unfunny humor. “I’m telling ya’ll. Messing with her is a death wish. Plus, I heard she’s not even like that. That’s she’s like….shy and shit.”
If intended to ward the two off, it does the complete opposite. Theory smirks. “Those are always the freakiest.”
Carmelo backs away, lifting his hand in a surrender motion. “Can’t say I ain’t warn you. Dig your own graves.” With zero interest in having any part of what these two are clearly planning, Carmelo puts his headphones back over his ears and jogs off to start his training.
And it’s a wise decision as Austin and Grayson, forever the patient predators stalking their prey wait for Naomi to walk off, time it well so that there’s an appropriate enough time for Solana to walk off to the showers, get clean, and walk out at the same time they happen to be lurking in the halls that lead to the locker rooms.
That’s exactly how it plays out too, Solana looking down in her bag to grab her phone and text Solo that she’s done and ready to leave when a voice nearly knocks the wind out of her.
“Hi there.”
Solana gasps as loud as the sound of her back colliding with the brick wall behind her from how startled she is.
Instantly, she’s met with a set of cold blue eyes and wicked smile. “Solana, right?”
Breathing feels like it’s an optional thing, her hands still gripping the brick wall behind her. She can only nod her answer.
“Austin.” He then nods to the other man that Solana realizes is leaning back against the wall opposite her. The anxiety intensifies. “This is my buddy, Grayson. You must be new around here?”
Solana doesn’t want to speak, doesn't want to be near these two who have her practically cornered. But, she also doesn’t want to piss them off either. “Y—yeah.”
Austin’s eyes twinkle with nothing that seems good. “You really are shy, huh?”
“They make the best.” Grayson comments from his propped up position. Solana doesn’t allow herself to think too much about what he’s implying. She just wants to get the hell away from them. One look, and she knows they’re up to no good.
It makes her sick to her stomach.
The idea of walking past these two brings a visceral, physical response that has her mouth watering. She feels like she’s going to throw up, but she also knows she needs to get the hell away from them. “I—I have to go.” From where the next thing to come out her mouth stems from, she doesn’t know, but it’s blurted with all the nerves in her body. “R-Roman is waiting for me.”
He’s not. She actually has no idea where he is, but there’s a part of her that wonders if reminding them of who she is, who her husband is will make them back off.
“Of course,” the one with an accent speaks, motioning with his arm for her to leave. “Don’t want to keep the Chief waiting.”
The mockery in his tone unease her even more. Does he not realize just who Roman is? What he’s capable of.
Regardless, the second Austin backs away a bit, she’s darting through the hall, trying to put as much distance between herself and the two men, but she’s not far enough to miss the ominous departing statement from Austin.
“See you around, Solana.”
Something tells her this won’t be the last time she runs into them, and it leaves a deep, disturbing feeling in the pit of her stomach.
This isn’t good.
It’s not good at all.
————
Dear Mom,
I’m still alive.
That’s a good thing, I guess. Life with Roman has been….a strange experience. The most important thing is that he hasn’t hit me yet, but I’ve been trying really hard not to upset him or get on his bad side. I do my best to make sure all of his meals are ready and on time, which I guess helps.
But to be honest……he kinda confuses me.
He hasn’t been unkind, and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced him really yelling at me. Not like I’ve seen him yell and scream at others. So, that’s also good. It’s a bit of walking on eggshells, just waiting for him to snap and hit me, but not as much as I was thinking.
I don’t know….it hasn’t been as bad here as I thought it would be. For the most part, he just leaves me alone. We don’t even eat dinner together, which is fine, cause I can’t see why he’d want to spend time with me anyway.
But, he confuses me because it feels like sometimes he’s defending me or something, which doesn’t make sense because why would he do that? That would mean he has to care to some extent, right? I keep trying to remind myself that it’s probably not me he’s defending but his pride and standing, because I think being mean or disrespecting me is like disrespecting him? I’m not sure, but it’s definitely a new experience.
I haven't spoken to or heard from Wes and dad. Roman made me get a new phone with a new number that I’m not sure either of them have. I don’t know if I want to think too much about how bad it’s going to be when I finally do see them again…..
Wes made it clear I was supposed to be keeping in contact with them, but that hasn’t happened. Truth be told, I try not to think about that. Think about the fact that I’m somehow supposed be figuring out a way to…..to kill Roman. I could never do that. I could never kill anyone. You know that, mama.
Even more….I feel like Roman is growing on me, like maybe he’s not as bad as I thought, like maybe there’s more to him than meets the eye.
I think….I think that I could learn to like living here.
—------
“WarGames?”
To Solana, it’s a simple question, because it’s definitely not an everyday term. But that’s clearly not the case given the startled expressions on both Bayley and Naomi’s face.
It’s becoming something she is slowly starting to enjoy. Not necessarily the training part, but the socialization. It’s something Solana has been deeply deprived of over the years, so to have someone to talk to, someone who wants to talk to her means a lot.
Even if it’s technically a job she was assigned by Roman, Naomi has never made her feel like their interactions are forced.
Moreover, it was just in last week’s training session, Solana was thoroughly and pleasantly surprised to find out Bayley is also a member of the Warehouse and friends with Naomi, that reunion almost giving Solana a sense of giddiness.
She’s wanted to reach out since the wedding but never followed through based upon her fear that she’d be bothering Bayley.
Clearly, that’s not the case.
Solana is certain she’ll never forget Bayley’s kindness on a day where she really needed to believe in something, believe that there is always at least one reason to keep breathing, to be alive.
But, it’s when Solana asks about this topic Naomi and Bayley were discussing that attracts confounded expressions.
“You’re kidding right?” Bayley is the first to speak, glancing between herself and Naomi. “He didn’t tell you?”
Still confused, Solana presses, “tell me what?”
“I’m not surprised Roman didn’t, but someone definitely should have.” Naomi shakes her head, shifting into an explanation.. “War Games. It’s an annual match. Super big deal. It’s a show of strength and dominance for the Bloodline. Kinda hard to explain. You’ll just have to see for yourself.”
It sounds….intense. “I—I don’t think I’m invited.”
“Your hubby has clearly been a bachelor for way too long for him to realize that he has to tell you these things.” Bayley rolls her eyes but protests Solana’s belief that she would somehow not be invited to one of the Bloodline’s most important yearly events. “You’re definitely invited. As Roman’s wife, you have to be there. It would be seen as a sign of great disrespect to him if you didn’t.””
Disrespecting Roman…..never a good idea.
“When is it?”
Naomi seems to hesitate before answering. “Tomorrow night” And before Solana can panic at such short notice, Naomis is reassuring her that it will all work out. “Don’t worry. Bay and I will help you get ready.”
“Hell yeah.” Bayley already goes into strategizing mode. “I’ll handle your hair and makeup, and Naomi can find you a kickass dress.”
“Red, of course. That’s the only non-negotiable. Bloodline thing, ya know.” Solana figured as such. She also briefly wonders if that’s why Roman has been coming back home late the past few weeks, because he’s been training? “But, I will say we usually dress….well, like we’re going clubbing for these kinds of events, so it’s gonna be short, tight, and a tad bit revealing.”
That is something that gives Solana pause. None of those things scream appealing to her at all. She doesn’t have the body to dress like that. Not with the rolls, stretch marks, and scars that mar hers.
“I—I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” she finds it in herself to voice her opinion. A rarity. “I don’t—I don’t think I’d look good in something like that.”
Both Bayley and Naomi cast her confused expressions, Naomi being the first to speak.
“Why?” Naomi presses, gesturing up and down. “Girl, you have a nice ass shape. You would fill out a bodycon dress nicely.”
Solana has a hard time digesting what Naomi is saying. She would look great in a dress like that. Naomi is both fit and curvy, the perfect amount of curves in the right places without unnecessary fat. Same for Bayley.
For Solana, the less skin she’s showing the better, though she wonders if the kind of attire they’re describing is some type of dress code, meaning there is no room to protest.
The last thing she wants is for it to get back to Roman that she’s being “difficult.”
Defeated, she murmurs an ‘okay’ as the two of them engage in more conversation about this WarGames as well as fashion options. To be fair, they try to include her in, but Solana is too into her head about what this alleged night is as well as what it could include.
—---
Naomi wasn’t lying when she said that Solana would have to see WarGames for herself to understand it. That’s the absolute truth.
It’s a spectacle, to say the least.
For one, it’s a ton of people packed around the ring, the massive room where fights take place. The noise is boisterous, almost deafening, people drunk, swearing, placing bets, most of which are on the Bloodline.
And thankfully, Solana and Co. are seated in the upper area, a VIP box of sorts, away from the unruly crowd. She’s thankful for this for a lot of reasons, one of the biggest being the fact that she feels extremely uncomfortable in her dress. And just in general, but mostly with how much scarred skin is showing.
The dress is exactly as Naomi said it would be: short, red, and a bit revealing. Thankfully Naomi picked out a dress with a halter neckline that prevents any cleavage from showing, but there’s a split high up on the thigh that she finds herself trying to constantly adjust.
“You look great, Solana.” Bayley wears that same friendly, encouraging smile from Solana’s wedding day. “And I get that you’re self-conscious about your body, but I can guarantee these men would line up by the dozen for a chance to go home with you if not for your psycho-killer husband.”
Bayley playfully nudges her shoulder, and while Solana can emit a chuckle, she can’t bring herself to laugh. That line of men would be just as disappointed as she’s sure her psycho-killer husband was on their wedding night.
But, this isn’t the time and place for that.
“You look nice,” Solana compliments, partially a deflection technique but mostly the truth. Bayley, Naomi, and Nicki, who she met earlier that night and learned was Jey’s wife, all look exceptional in their numbers. Bayley is the only one not wearing red, for obvious reasons, but the jade green compliments her complexion well.
“We all look nice,” she says loud enough for the other two to hear.
Nicki opens her mouth to respond when the lights in the arena start to shift. “Ugh. This bitch again.” Nicki’s scowl and expression of irritation draws Solana’s attention to the woman in the ring, who now has the spotlight on her, a woman she immediately recognizes as being there that night Roman woke her up from a nightmare.
The woman is tall, curvy in the right places, beautiful, bouncy curls cascading down her back. If she has a lot of makeup on, Solana can’t tell because it’s painfully obvious she’s been blessed with natural beauty. Everything about her is just so gorgeous.
At the time, she didn’t think anything of it, too caught in the haze of trauma. But now, curious and believing she can receive an answer, Solana asks, “who is she?”
“The most annoying person ever,” Nicki answers, taking a swig of her drink. In only knowing Nicki for less than an hour, Solana both does and doesn’t understand the compatibility between herself and Jey. They seem very much alike yet dissimilar. It makes sense why they fight as much as they do.
“That’s Samantha.” There’s no way to misinterpret the disgust in Nicki’s voice even as she pronounces Samantha’s name with undeniable distaste. “She does the announcements for events, but her daytime job is being a professional hooker.”
“Nicki!” Naomi shakes her head. “I think she’s a paralegal for a lawyer or something, but she’s mostly known as a pain in everyone’s ass. Always has been. Ever since we were in high school. She thinks because she’s light skinned with ‘good hair’ that she’s better than everybody.”
“Don’t forget about Roman,” Nicki chimes with her nose upturned. “She really thinks she’s hot shit though because she’s number one on his ‘I want my dick sucked’ list.”
This causes Solana to pause for a second. “What?”
She’s not stupid. Why else would this Samantha have been over at the house that late at night? And with Roman? Solana figured early on that if he isn’t getting any from her, then he has to be getting it from somewhere. Truthfully, even if their marriage did involve sex, she’s not sure he still wouldn’t find his way in between the legs of another woman.
But, there’s something about having it confirmed, hearing for herself that he gets around, that he clearly has a high sex drive that adds a whole new layer of insecurity.
She’s known from day one she could never be anyone he wanted or needed, and he expressed as such that day at the library, but this conversation makes it feel more…..real.
And she’s unsure why or just what makes this bring on a sense of sadness.
“Come on, I get you’re quiet and innocent and shit, but everyone knows that man is a hoe. If you’re black or black–ish with a vagina, fat ass, and big titties, he’ll fuck you. Cause none of them fools fuck with white girls.” She glances at Bayley, almost sympathetically. “No offense.”
“I’m Mexican.”
This serves as a brief, nice distraction for Solana. She suspected that Bayley wasn’t entirely white, but hearing that she’s Hispanic, Mexican, makes Solana feel a small slice of excitement. She makes a mental note to ask her if she speaks Spanish.
Solana hasn’t been able to communicate in the language her mother made sure to teach her in secret given Xavier’s protest since her murder. So, the idea of being able to communicate with another person in that language makes her feel a bit excited. Maybe more than a bit.
Nicki is dismissive, though there’s a hint of humor there. Like she knows and is just messing with the other woman. “Sure you are, Bay.”
Bayley rolls her eyes and assures Solana. “Don’t listen to her.”
“Ya’ll, don’t lie to this girl.” Nicki seems dead set on stressing this point, and Solana can’t figure out if it comes from a good place, a drunk place, or somewhere in between the two of them. “If it wasn’t common knowledge he don’t fuck none of these bitches raw and makes most get on birth control, I’d tell you to not let that fool touch you with a ten foot pole.”
Bayley is watching Solana, sees the discomfort growing at this conversation and moves to change the conversation. “Why don’t we talk about you and Jey and why I literally saw him flirting with Sasha the other day?”
At that, Nicki drops her drink, cussing loudly, “man, fuck him! I don’t give a fuck about him or that bony heifer! I’ll beat the shit out both of them.”
“Nicki. Shut the fuck up. You may beat her ass, but you gon be right back to drunk spilling about how good Jey’s dick is when it’s all said and done.” Naomi dismisses, and something tells Solana she’s not wrong. Nicki and Jey seem to have a bit of a…..tumultuous relationship.
“I mean it this time!”
“Uh huh, sure sis.”
“And if you don’t give a fuck about him, why are you here?” Naomi challenges.
All eyes on her, even Solana’s slightly curious gaze, Nicki falls back in her chair and mumbles, “cause that’s my man.”
Naomi and Bayley are a chorus of laughter and whooping and hollering, roasting Nicki for her contradictory statements.
Flashing blue lights illuminate the arena as everyone immediately moves to their feet followed by opening music that almost instantly brings chills up Solana’s arms. The lights then transition to a combination of red and blue, the sound of cheering intensifying as she redirects her focus back to where the first group entered.
Solana’s eyes instantly, maybe even naturally, land on Roman. He stands first among the men, shirtless, ula fala around his neck, championship belt around his waist, a look of fierce determination and stoicism painted across his handsome face.
And that body…..rippling muscles glistening under the heat of the lights.
It’s a strange and miserable experience. Feeling all of the sensations and attractions a human typically has to another human being but having an almost inability to act on them. It’s not that Solana isn’t attracted to Roman. She finds him to be sinfully attractive. The issue is that whenever she thinks about what physical acts take place when two people find each other attractive is when her head is swarmed with vivid memories and flashbacks of being violated in the worst way possible.
And the attraction is stumped by fear and trauma. Fear of being touched. Fear of being with anyone in that way.
It’s like Roman said. He can get that from anyone, so why would he bother with her?
When he has someone like Samantha, prettier, smaller, easier, at his disposal?
It brings a wave of sadness over her that she’s grateful isn’t noticed by the other ladies who are focused on the start of the match.
And to her credit, Solana tries to pay attention, grateful and thankful for Naomi and Bayley occasionally pointing out certain aspects of how it works, why the two groups are separated, individual members from each side periodically being sent into the line of fire.
“Roman always goes last,” Naomi explains at one point.
“Save the best for last type shit,” Bayley adds, finishing off her beer and asking for another.
“More like once he gets his ass in there, it’s a wrap. Everyone left getting smashed.” Solana believes this wholeheartedly. She’s just not sure if she wants to see that, see that side of him up close.
It exists, obviously, but it’s hard to compare the killer she knows he is to the man he’s been to in the short duration of their marriage.
Almost….almost kind.
The fighting, brutal and bloody, all occurs in the ring, but Solana constantly finds her gaze falling back to Roman. He remains seated, patiently or maybe impatiently waiting for his turn, never once ripping his gaze from the match. She sees Paul outside the cage, occasionally speaking to Roman, advising as he always does.
Solana can tell he’s completely immersed, focusing solely on the match before him.
And it’s when there’s some type of in-ring argument between the twins and the other member-in-training of sorts, Sami, she thinks Naomi called him, that she turns to the ladies. “What are they doing?”
“Sealing a death wish,” Nicki answers with a shake of her head. “Roman gon’ have all they asses for this.”
Naomi sighs loudly, advising Solana after the bickering results in one of the men from the other group getting the upper hand, landing a particularly brutal looking kick to Jey. “There’s been some….contention between Sami and the twins, mostly Jey, but Nicki isn’t entirely wrong. They should know better than to let that shit interfere with a match. Roman will most likely make them stay after and……yeah.”
Solana doesn’t need a detailed explanation. She has a good idea of what Roman making them pay will look like. It’s also not something she wants to see.
The match, in and of itself, despite the excitement and pure interest of everyone around her, isn’t necessarily something she wants to see. Solana has seen, been exposed, and experienced enough fighting violence to last her a lifetime.
This is entertainment to them, but for her, it’s been her lived experience.
So, she doesn’t feel any sort of adrenaline rush watching grown men beat the crap out of each other, blood, sweat, and bruised, battered bodies putting themselves through hell. It gives her some relief to see that the Bloodline, for the most part, remains with the upperhand. Even with their in-house argument earlier in the fight.
But, it’s when the timer that ends with another man joining the brawl moves to a ten second countdown that her interest grows a bit more. It grows a bit because Roman is finally about to enter the ring.
She watches him, has mostly just watched him this entire time. He’s just as unbothered as he was the minute he walked in. Adjusting his gloves while Paul clearly tries to bestow some last minute wisdom before he makes his entrance.
It feels a bit redundant. She’s certain this man doesn’t need anyone helping him with anything.
And as soon as the timer winds down to zero, Roman gradually making his way to the ring, Solana knows she was right. Knows he doesn’t need help, because he’s been studying and planning for the past almost 45 minutes. Strategizing.
It shows the minute the men, all 10 of them go at it. It’s hard to keep track of all of the mayhem, fists flying, kicks landing in areas that are sure to require a couple days to recover. But, it’s Roman who still manages to catch and hold Solana’s attention. He moves with such precision and accuracy, blows every bit as barbarous and violent as his reputation warrants.
There’s a small part of her that experiences something she can’t quite label or understand when he takes a hit, especially when a member of the other team manages to catch Roman off guard, sending him into the table, the weight of him snapping it in half.
At that, she nervously starts to move her fingers up and down the side of her dress. But, Roman, while clearly impacted from the blow by the blood starting to stream down the back of his arm only seems further enraged. Like being attacked has somehow refueled him, recharged his already pre-existing rage.
“They are in trouble now….” Naomi murmurs, shaking her head, as if she knows what’s about to come. “Roman hates getting hit, and they made him bleed too?”
It’s the blood part, maybe, that bothers Solana. It’s silly given who he is and the fact that he’s clearly holding his own just fine, but Solana wonders why he doesn’t or can’t have that tended to. It has to hurt.
But, then again, it all hurts, so maybe the pain just numbs itself out.
And maybe Roman is clearly caught up and consumed in adrenaline, in the mad rush of the battle, because it seems from the table slam on out, no one is touching him. He’s all over the place, strong blows resulting in grown men crying out in pain. She’s certain those closer to the actual ring can hear the sound of bones crunching, an inevitable thing given the abnormal distortion of limbs she sees on the other team.
He yells and taunts his opponents, one by one, laying them out with the somewhat assistance of the rest of the men. Truth be told, Roman could have probably tagged out the other four men and handled the other team all on his own.
He’s just that effective.
And when there’s only one man standing, barely, Roman moves to the other side of the ring, face turned up in rage, watching and waiting for the perfect moment for him to dart across, laughing into a spear so forceful that it knocks the man unconscious instantly, guaranteeing an instant, easy pin.
The crowd erupts in cheers, Roman’s music sounding as Samantha formally announces the Bloodline as the winners.
There’s a strange sense of relief that Solana has at that, at the fact that this is all over, that the fighting is done. That Roman is done, because her mind keeps going toward the fact that he probably needs some level of medical attention and when said attention is going to happen.
But while she expects the Bloodline to start their exit, she’s instead met with security dragging the unconscious bodies of the losing team outside of the ring.
“What’s happening?” Solana asks Bayley, realizing that the women are starting to pack up to head out. “Isn’t—isn’t it over?”
“For us, yes.” Her eyes set on the twins, Solo, and Sami. “For them, it’s just beginning.” Solana reflects back on their in-ring argument and Naomi’s foreshadowing about this happening, about this punishment.
And one glance at Roman, his hulking shoulders lifting and lowering with his heavy panting. His eyes are flaming with a fury he clearly intends to take out on his team.
“Come on.” Naomi draws Solana’s attention. “I’ll ride home with you, cause Solo ain’t gon be free no time soon.”
None of them will.
Solana recognizes this and agrees, but it’s not without a sense of disappointment at not leaving with Roman.
And that confuses her. It confuses her a lot.
She didn’t arrive with him, so why would she leave with him?
More importantly, why does she care that she’s not leaving with him?
—----------
“I–I can do that for you.”
There are some things meant to be thought and some things meant to be said. This is one of those things that should have stayed in Solana’s head instead of rolling off her tongue the way it does.
She was only supposed to ask him if he wanted her to make anything in particular for breakfast tomorrow, not offer to freaking suture stitches for him.
Well, that’s not entirely true, because as it’s almost damn midnight, she could and should at least be in bed trying to sleep. She’s been home for almost two hours, showered, changed into her oversized shirt and sweats.
She shouldn’t even be standing before him, but there was some type of unease she had at trying to fall asleep without making sure he made it home, without seeing to it that he tended to any injuries he sustained tonight.
Solana almost feels like that’s what she should do, like she should make sure she’s available to assist him with anything he may need. Like it’s just another thing that could keep him from directing his anger from earlier towards her.
And it’s slightly less stressful for her in knowing that he’s more likely to harshly dismiss her, maybe even chastise her for unintentionally implying he’s somehow incapable. However, instead of a rebuff, he simply looks at her, asking, “you know how?”
Solana doesn’t know why, but she takes this as a sign that he’s accepting her offer. Walking over to where he sits at the kitchen island, she sees he already has the supplies laid out. “I—I’ve had a lot of experience.”
Some of it from patching up her dad and brother but most of it from patching up herself over the years, from watching and learning from her mother tend to her wounds after sustaining beatings from Xavier. “My mom was also a nurse. She—she taught me a lot.” Like the proper way to suture. “Did—did you already disinfect?”
Solana is slightly nervous when he says no. That means she’s the one that’s going to have to inflict that brief but potent burning pain.
Lovely.
Nonetheless, she readies the cloth, holding it over the cut before warning, “this—this might sting.”
“I don’t care.” And she believes it. Seeing him in the ring tonight, his prowess, his brutality, she’s not sure if anything could hurt him.
Solana proceeds to clean and disinfect the area before grabbing the sutures to start stitching him back up.
Roman suddenly asks her. “Did you want to go into the medical field?” Roman recalls from the file he read on her that she never pursued any higher education beyond high school, something else he marked against her at the time. Education and knowledge have always been important to him.
But meeting her and slowly learning more about her backstory, he wonders if that was of her own choosing, hence his asking.
Solana, meanwhile, can’t figure out why he’s even talking to her in the first place. He seemed, justifiably, annoyed with and not wanting to be bothered with any and everyone post match. Now he’s asking her questions about things she hasn’t thought about in years.
Still, she answers with the truth. “I—I wanted to be a nurse. Like my mom.”
This doesn’t surprise Roman as he follows up with, “why didn’t you?”
A lot of reasons. Many of which she has very little desire to share, not that she could or would even want to ever voice as such to the man sitting in front of her.
That’d be an instant death wish.
“My—my father. He, umm, didn’t want me to leave home.” It’s a version of the truth, the unabridged version being he didn’t want her to leave home because he wouldn’t be able to control her if she did so.
And Solana has a feeling that she doesn’t need to share all that, that Roman already knows this.
“Why didn’t you just leave?” Roman’s delivery, like most of the time, is insensitive. But, he genuinely wants to know. For what reason did she stay there all those years, in a house of horrors instead of just leaving and never looking back?
It’s a fair, simple question with a complex, layered answer that she greatly simplifies.
“I tried. It—it never worked out.” And it’s when Roman hears the sudden sadness in her voice, sees the way her eyes temporarily shift to her inner forearms, horizontal faded scars that he’s just now able to see from how close she is to him that he gets it.
He realizes that she tried in more ways than one, none of them being successful.
And in a truly coincidental way, Solana notices he’s also cut on the back of his bicep. It’s also in her being so close to him that she realizes underneath the intricacies of the tribal tattoos on his forearm, there are scars. Burn scars, nothing severe, but visible enough for her to notice.
It makes her wonder about where he got them, how he got them, not that she’d ever have enough bravery to ask.
She instead clears her throat and gestures to the cut. “Do–do you want me to do that one too?”
It takes a second for Roman to think about what she’s asking. “Is it deep enough?”
Without thinking about it, she brings her hand to finger to lightly feel the cut that was clearly poorly and in a rush patched up post fight. Nodding, she explains, “it’s deeper than about 1/4th an inch, so yeah, I—you should let me.” And in realizing she’s touching him, like she isn’t doing the same thing while suturing, she snatches her hand back, apologizing quietly.
He doesn’t think he’s ever had a woman apologize for touching him.
“Okay.”
And that’s it, he doesn’t protest, doesn’t chastise her for making it seem like he doesn’t know or understand injuries. He just allows her to work on him, Solana doing her best to ignore the fact that he’s so close to her, his big, strong body, even while seated, overwhelming her.
But while this would typically cause Solana to go into panic mode, being so close to a half dressed man, she doesn’t feel that with Roman. She doesn’t feel anything at all. No anxiety, no fear, just some nameless emotion that doesn’t evoke her typical nervous responses.
“Okay.” Finishing up, Solana moves to clean up the supplies, discarding what is no longer usable. “Just….don’t get it wet for next few hours, and apply the ointment as needed, but—I’m sure you know all this already.” She feels silly for speaking to him as if he hasn’t patched himself up or been stitched up countless time before. “I’m gonna—I’m gonna go to bed now.”
Not wanting to risk embarrassing herself further, she turns on the heel of her foot and starts walking off, only to stop when he calls for her.
“Solana.”
She turns around, and Roman is briefly caught up in how she presses her lips together, trying to suppress a frown. She thinks she’s done something wrong.
One more sweep of her frame from bottom to top, remembering the stunning complement and contrast of the red dress against her complexion. He compliments, “you looked beautiful tonight.”
She looks absolutely taken back by what is an obvious statement. Taken back and confused. “M—me?” She’s pointing to herself, brows arching together. And for a second, there’s a small hint of a growing smile as she asks, as if he could have made a mistake. “Really?”
He didn’t.
Roman doesn’t make mistakes
Solana has a lot of things fucked up about her, but one thing not a damn person can deny is that she’s absolutely gorgeous with a body to match. That’s just a fact, why he felt the need to express said fact is a bit beyond him, but Roman doesn’t allow himself to think too much about it. It’s not a sentimental thing at all, just a plain fact being stated, if anything.
“Thank you,” she finally says as he notices the reddening of her cheeks. “Umm, good night.” Solana’s hand is on the banister, her finger squeezing tighter than the coils in her stomach. “Roman?”
It would be a hell of a lot easier if he would have just ignored her, but he doesn’t. His gaze snaps up to her from the phone now in his hand.
The same hand she witnessed just tonight pummel grown men, just as muscular and intimidating as he is to a bloody pulp. The same hand that could easily take her life, could have her clinging onto life with just one beating. And that’s all she can see at the thought of telling him about Grayson and Theory messing with her, that it’s now happened twice, they’ve caught her off guard and alone, sexually harassing her.
Nia’s words from the other day return to the front of her mind.
“He wants you to stop being so weak.”
He’ll blame her. He’ll blame her the same way her father blamed her for what they did to her. He’ll blame her for being so weak. That’s what Solana knows will happen. Knows he’ll say she was leading them on, that she must have done something to garner their interest in her. And he’ll be angry.
He’ll be angry at her.
And nothing good ever comes out of Roman Reigns being angry.
She’s seen it for herself firsthand tonight.
Determine to find a way to deal with this on her own, she shakes her head, “nothing. S–sorry.” She’s turned back to the steps when he says her name this time. His tone clear and authoritative.
She jumps, immediately turning back around to face him. He’s now standing near the steps where she stands, halfway between rescue and ridicule.
Something flashes in his gaze at her obvious nervousness, but he quickly refocuses on the topic at hand. “You have something to say, so say it.”
A deep layer of regret and anxiety settles in at the realization that there is no lying to Roman. He’s adroitly skilled in reading between the lines and seeing through bullshit. Or maybe she’s just that bad at lying.
Hopefully not the latter because another lie is about to roll right out.
“I was just—I was gonna sleep in tomorrow, but I have to make your breakfast, so I’ll just—”
“You don’t have to do anything, Solana.”
Roman knows she’s lying. Knows she just pulled that out of her ass instead of sharing whatever it is she initially wanted to say. It’s probably something stupid too, something he won’t give two shits about, but something she thinks he gives two shits about. And he’d push her if not for the fact he can tell she’s getting all nervous and shit on him again. The last thing he needs is her having another panic attack.
“Sleep in,” he directs. This is a conversation, much to his chagrin, that will have to take part in sections. And it’s too late in the evening to hash out one of those sections. And to be fair, there is a part of him that recognizes she probably does feel like she needs to be up at the ass crack of dawn like him to have his first meal of the day ready to go. And his lunch. And his dinner.
Granted, Roman can’t and won’t complain about all of it, because the girl can cook her ass off.
But, it’s not necessary.
He’s more than capable of taking care of himself.
He’s done so since he was 10 years old.
“Thank you.” She does that thing again where she smiles like he’s just told her she’s won the lottery or been given the cure to world hunger. It’s the simplest things that seem to make her happy. Considering the bar has already been set so low, it makes a bit of sense.
It makes a lot of sense.
“Goodnight.”
Roman is certain she’s intentional in the way she turns on the heel of her foot to move up the stairs, putting as much distance between the two of them to avoid a follow up question. Her avoidance behavior is a bit impressive, irksome, but still impressive, nonetheless.
And it would be remiss of Roman to not sneak a peak of her retreating form moving up the steps, his eyes glued to the sway of her ass, again remembering that short, red dress that momentarily distracted him when he laid eyes on her at the match.
Roman would never deny his physical attraction to her. That’s just a fact. She’s shaped in a way that makes his dick hard at the thought of having that body underneath his, writhing, begging for him to not stop fucking her in all the ways he would if he could.
But, that’s a fantasy. It’s a fantasy because the reality is that he can’t even touch this girl without her freaking out on him, something that would annoy him greatly if he didn’t realize there’s a reason behind her jumpiness.
Something that’s beyond just her shitty father and brother.
Roman doesn’t allow himself to travel down that path, to see what it might lead to because just the thought of what might be the reason she doesn’t like being touched has his fist forming at his side, nostrils flared, and anger brewing at an accelerated pace that doesn’t make sense.
It also doesn’t make sense when he grabs his phone, navigating to the desired thread, sending a text he doesn’t think much about.
Roman: Get me a list of dog breeders. Small dogs. Preferably local. We can travel if necessary.
Paul: Sir?
Roman: Just do it.
Paul: I’ll have it to you by tomorrow morning.
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Two Good Reasons, Part 5
Summary: You and Andy have family fun
Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader
Rating: explicit
Warnings: explicit sexual content, explicit langauge, unprotected sex, oral sex (F receiving), fingering, PIV sex, mentions of infidelity, depictions of an allergic reaction, baby Suede 🥺18+ ONLY
Word Count: 8.4K
Previous
Series Masterlist
“Stop,” you giggle, trying to push Andy off your back by bumping him with your ass. He likes this way too much to ever stop, and you don’t actually want him to. His mouth permanently plants on your neck as you mix up some chicken salad.
“Andy,” you can’t help but squeal. Knowing that you have things that you need to do, but he feels so good. Too good. His lips know exactly what to touch on your body, and judging by the heat radiating from his crotch to your ass, you know he’s wanting to break the bed in.
“First lunch,” it’s such a weak boundary that you’re willing to fold on.
“The only thing I want to eat is you,” his voice is so hoarse as his hips roll into you, and you feel his hardening length. Dizzying your mind immediately. Those meaty hands knead on your breasts, and you back yourself more into him. You need more. You need all of him, “See, who needs lunch?”
“Mmm,” you groan, closing your eyes as you just focus on Andy and his ministrations. Now he is the only reason you haven’t spent your weekend pacing around the house, staring at your phone, wishing that Scott would at least read that you asked him to let the kids call you this morning. Now it’s after lunch and you still haven’t got to hear their voice, or see their giggling faces.
“Andy,” you’re so weak when it comes to him, but at least the feeling is mutual. The spoon drops into the bowl, and your hand grabs his cheek, pulling him to your mouth, closer to where you need him, and you melt into him. Pushing your ass into his engorged pants, and arching your back so you can gain better access, you preen at just how hard he is for you. You need him ways you have never needed someone before.
The wait and journey were worth it, and now you didn’t feel rushed, you wanted him to fully take his time. His tongue rubs over your lips, and you part them the same way your legs part. Andy makes quick work of your button before plunging his hand down the front, and right to your core. His fingers gather your slick, and then move back to your bundle of nerves. He creates the slowest circles with not enough pressure, and you whine.
“You’re so wet for me, Doe. So very wet. How about we put this in the fridge, and then…” his movements pause, and your eyes go wider. You get a sweet smile before he’s pulling his hand out of your pants, and you spring to your bedroom. You didn’t even pause. The new bed, and bedding just feels better, and didn’t cause that awful memory to imprint in your mind. Andy hadn’t been defiled by your disgusting husband; he is still here, and ready for a life with your and your babies.
The bed hasn’t even been defiled by your boyfriend — yet. It feels good to say your boyfriend. You nearly slide into your bed as you reach for your phone, you click it on, and say hey still breathless as your beautiful babies’ faces come onto the screen.
“Hi, mama!” Suede squeals, trying to lean more into the screen. “Mama, hi!”
“Hi, Suedey, give sissy some room, too. What are you guys doing?” Audrey’s eyes look beyond the phone. You assume she’s looking up at her dad as she smiles up at him. Despite it all, you’re glad that she’s continued to have a relationship with Scott.
“Daddy and Taylor are taking us to soft play!” You hope that Scott realizes just how happy she sounds and looks. Even the bright smile on Suede’s face makes you feel more at ease. If only Scott could hold those memories in his mind, so when they ask to play with him, he understands the joy it brings.
“Chess! Me pay!”
“And daddy said he’s going to get on the trampoline with us,” both kids are smiling ear to ear, and looking beyond the phone. You miss them, but when they look at ease and this happy, it helps.
“Daddy jump! Chess!” He throws his hands up into the air, and you sigh in relief as he looks up and behind the screen again, holding his fist up for a bump. “Aye!”
“Yay!” Scott repeats. You hope that he can see how much they enjoy playing, and how much more special it is to play with their parents. Especially with Suede. Him and Scott have such a strained relationship, and he was a baby. Your children just want to make Scott happy and proud, and you think there’s a part of him that often forgets that, and it’s no longer your responsibility to remind him. He chose this path, not you.
“Na Na at?” Suede puts on a serious face, and he gives a growl. “Mama, Na Na at?”
You’re leaning over onto the bed, laying on your belly, and Andy’s fingers graze up the backs of your thighs, before gripping tightly to your ass, and he leans into frame, the kids none the wiser of how Andy’s hard cock is settled on your back, “Na Na! Me pay!”
“I hope you have so much fun, too,” Andy is such a turd, keeping his hand groping your thighs, and trying to inch back to the unbuttoned jeans, but him being so sweet to the two little on the phone is confusing your brain. “You gotta see if you can jump higher than your dad.”
“Me tan! Ump high!”
Audrey is too busy paying attention to her dad, smiling up at him to be fully involved with the conversation. She misses him so much. They had a sweet bond sometimes. Even if her dad pushed her academically, he also made time to play with her. “Alright, tell your mom bye,” of course he wouldn’t acknowledge Andy’s presence. Just for that comment, Andy’s hand moves from your thigh to in between your cheeks, and under you, cupping your throbbing cunt. And his face is the picture of innocence.
“Mama bye! Na Na bye! Ove ooo!”
“Love you, Suedey. Bye, sissy. Have fun today, and watch bubba.”
“Okay, mommy. I love you,” and with that, Scott’s finger comes into view as he clicks the end button too quickly, and you just stare at where their smiling faces once were. You suppose Scott didn’t want to hear if Andy loved his kids or not. You’re at least happy that Suede wasn’t crying, and that Audrey is being her smiling self. It hurts when they’re away, but them having fun makes it more bearable.
Andy grabs the phone out of your hand, and flips your body over, having you lay on your back before he sinks to his knees. Carefully removing each sock, “I think you need to take a day off and get a pedicure,” you roll your eyes, but his hands slide up your legs, and up to your hips where he starts tugging at your still undone jeans.
“I’m serious,” he whispers, kissing over your panties. Starting at the elastic before dipping lower, and lower. He didn’t pull the pants low enough, so you can’t even spread your legs further, and give him access to where you want him, “Why so needy, honey?”
His voice is like silk as it rumbles right at the start of your split. “Mmm,” you whine more than moan. Trying to tug your jeans down, and then your panties. You want him and need him over every inch of you.
He chuckles, jerking your jeans completely down, and you tug on your panties. “Uh uh,” he tsks, removing your hands, and pinning them to the sides of your body. And when you whine, he smacks at your quivering cunt.
“Andy!”
“Can you just let me enjoy myself?” You start to protest, but he flattens his tongue, and licks up your entire covered slit, and you want to drool. The way he’s obsessed with you, and making out with a different set of lips. Licking, nibbling, kissing, devouring. Close, but not close enough. Where you want him, but not how you want him. Your lace panties are ruined. Soaked through and you don’t know if it’s your juices or Andy’s, and it’s probably both.
He moans like he is eating a delectable dessert. Laving up every bit of your honey, and you’re so into this moment. Forgetting where you are, and just feeling him. And when he slips the thin material to the side, he smiles up at your wrecked face before gorging himself on your slick. Stabbing two thick fingers into your hole while he sucks on your clit. In and out. In and out. He makes excellent work on two forms of stimulation.
Andy then presses on your stomach, adding a bit more pressure there, and it’s as if he opened nerve endings you didn’t know existed. Everything becomes more sensitive, like you can feel every bit of his calloused fingers, and exactly what part of your pillowy walls they’re touching. Curling his fingers, he drives harder into you, and you scream his name up at the ceiling like a prayer, mixing in non-words to emphasize the pleasure coursing through your veins.
Asking for him to have mercy on you as a deep rooted coil twists tight in your belly. A feeling you’re familiar with, but then it’s so much more prominent. It’s toe curling. It’s out of body. It’s a high you could become addicted to.
You try to lift off the bed, and can’t, he presses down harder, and with this odd amount of pressure, things build. Build. Harder. Tighter. Heating up. You whimper out his name in a long laborious moan, and your dam breaks. Juices spray over Andy’s face and down his shirt, and his movements slow.
Going slower each second as he coaxes you down from your high, and he leans back on his ankles, panting, and smiling at you. His chest heaves right along with yours, and you sit up on your elbows, smiling at him. “What was that?”
“Well,” he licks his lips, and you look down at his soaked shirt. If you didn’t remember what his shirt looked like beforehand, you would wonder how the cotton became drenched, “You learned a new trick.”
“No,” you giggle, watching as he removes his ruined shirt. You’ve never been a woman obsessed with tits, but his are massive. So pillowy and still hard. Still so scrumptious, and you just find yourself wanting to bite and bury your face in his titties, or at least squeeze, bite, kiss, lick, or touch them. Whichever came first. “I can’t squirt.”
“You couldn’t before, but now, clearly you can, and it was the hottest shit I’ve ever seen. Maybe nobody has ever made you come so hard, and that was only with my fingers and mouth,” he stands up with his devilish smirk, yanking his pants and boxers down in one go, and his cock flares up to life. Bouncing to attention, and shining with beads of precum, and you’re so thankful you can’t get pregnant because you want nothing to separate you from Andy. As he steps out of his pants, you pull off your shirt, and it’s as if something smacks you in the gut.
You go blank as a quick flash of Taylor riding Scott jumps into your mind. Your body freezes, and you stare at nothing. You’re numb, and falling. It’s like a black hole sucks you up when you realize where you are. And then a pair of beautiful blue eyes breaks into your darkness. “Only look at me, Doe. Stay with me.”
Andy crawls onto the bed, using his thick stature to keep you spread. His throbbing cock runs through your slick and smears his precum through your opening. “Are you with me, honey?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want me?”
“Like I’ve never wanted anything before,” slowly he inches into your body. Hooking his hands behind your knees he lifts up your legs. Making them follow his descent into your warmth. He pushes them wide, and makes your head and legs go in ‘the same direction. Keeping you spread and at an angle that he can bury himself to the hilt. Not stopping until the spongy tip of his head kisses your cervix, and you sigh.
“Andy, I love you, but I’m ruined,” he deserves someone better than you. Someone that didn’t have all this baggage, and an impending divorce on the horizon.
“I know. You’re ruined by me. But you, my beautiful sweet little deer, are not ruined. You’re perfect. I don’t care if you have your moments. Just keep your eyes on me. It’s just us, okay?” You nod your head, breathlessly trying to stay with him. As he slowly rolls his hips into your body. “Give me a good reason. Just one good reason.”
You gulp, “Because it’s always been you,” Andy draws himself out of you, and pushes back through slowly, and you feel that thick vein drag through your weeping cunt. You feel every inch of him. “It was only ever you,” your eyes stay locked on him. Only on him. You didn’t even know where you were, you just know you are with him. Only him. Nothing else matters but the way that Andy has you fully filled.
All you have ever wanted were moments with him. Adult moments that you two only ever talked and teased about. The two of you connect as one with no barriers, just like now. Wet hot skin on wet hot skin. The way he would enjoy filling you up with his seed, and then his child. The way you thought up names for your unborn children. All of this was supposed to be for him, and now you can’t give it to him. Except the one thing he really wants.
“We’re not in a rush,” he assures you, his pace starting to pick up. Each thrust met with a grunt from his voice, “And we’re already a family,” tears fill your lash line. You didn’t know how this man could be so perfect, but it wasn’t the same. “We’ll adopt. Or have a surrogate,” you keep looking into his eyes so full of sincerity. You’ve never wanted intense eye connect with anyone during sex, except Andy. You would bare your soul for him, “Or we could get lucky.”
Smirking, he rolls the two of you over without leaving your warmth, keeping you on top. He pulls your hands to his chest, and he grips onto your hips so tightly. His eyes gaze upon you like you’re the most perfect thing in the world. Like you’re a goddess that is so precious to him. You move over him once.
“Use me, Doe. I am here for you to use. Take out your anger and frustrations on my body. Enjoy yourself. Claim it back,” with every word he says up to you, you move faster. Harder. A grind turns into bounces. “There she is. You feel so good. I love you, and we’ll do what we have to. But I’m yours. All of me is yours, and it always was.”
You ride on top of him so fast, and still hold his stare. He meant it. Meant every word. And you need to hold them inside of you, and want to protect those promises. Scott might have dragged you down little by little, but he didn’t destroy you. Your babies didn’t allow him. “I’m. All. Yours,” he repeats as you slam your body over his, over and over again. Sucking him in so deep that you see stars.
Andy’s voice is pained as he tries to stave off his orgasm. “Let go, baby. Let go for me. Let me feel your body surge around me, so I know that you are mine. Every inch of you is mine. You belong to me,” and everything tumbles down to the ground. He didn’t take down your walls brick by brick, he sent in a wrecking ball and destroyed them. Obliterated anything that separates you and him. Perfectly at the same time, euphoria cocoons the two of you in a matrimony of pleasure and the sweetest sin, and you sigh as Andy’s hot cream coats the inside of you.
You will never get tired of this feeling. The way his sticky heat fills every inch of you, and you hope one day, any day could connect the two of you together with Andy’s flesh and blood. You want to give that to him so badly. It’s what he deserves. He pulls you into his chest as he peppers kisses over your lips.
“We wasted so much time not doing this before.”
“We were too young, and we were terrified of getting pregnant before you finished law school,” while the sex is amazing, there’s something almost sweet about him softening in you, and dripping out of you. “I saw on the internet there’s these blankets that are waterproof. You just lay them over your bed, and your bedding doesn’t get, well, you know — wet.”
“Filthy and drenched in your squirt.”
“Stop! I did not squirt.”
“You most certainly did, and I drank it all up. We’ll get you your fancy blanket,” he stares at you a moment, no words between you, just putting this moment into his core memories. “Doe, hypothetically speaking, our plan was never to have you working,” leave it to Andy to bring into question your job.
“Our plan didn’t involve me in paying for a divorce, and no, I will not allow you to pay for it. This is something I need to do on my own.”
“But,” you push a finger up against his mouth, silencing him.
“I need to do this,” Scott is your problem. You loved Andy for giving you the support that you desperately need, but you also need to handle your shit.
“But you could be at home with Suede.”
“Don’t tease me! Yes, I would love to be at home with my baby, but this is my problem, and I need to resolve it, and then we’ll talk about everything else.”
“Give him the house,” you roll your eyes, starting to look away, but he squeezes your cheeks with his fingers and thumb, making you look at him, “It can take awhile to find one. We’ll casually be looking for our home. But he can have this house. Not have him move in it now, you need it for the kids. But you heard what I said, I won’t be living here, and I won’t be living without you. Now, say, ‘Okay, Andy,’” you start to giggle, and he stifles his own laughter, “No, say it.”
“Okay, Andy. And in the meantime,” he gives you every bit of attention that you have longed for in years. Nothing else matters but you. “I think — you should — start staying some nights here.”
“You’re sure?” This is a huge step in general, but when you have children, and this is their space, it’s different. This is their space, their home. And you can’t make them feel uncomfortable.
“Or every night,” you can’t look away from him if you wanted to. You’ve never lived with Andy, and this is what you’re suggesting. You have a deep desire to beg him to move in. You didn’t want to spend a single second without him, “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
“You’re the one that needs to be comfortable. This is yours and the kids' home,” and you understand that. You just want him ot be part of the equation.
“I know. They already want slumber parties with you. There’s empty space in the closet,” you hadn’t bothered with expanding your own clothes. Spreading everything out wide, and having the closet all to yourself.
“What are you suggesting?”
“If we’re going to be buying a house, we could save money if you sold the condo,” Andy nods. Things right now are more talk, but he knows Scott could have stipulations on you while you’re going through a divorce. And part of those stipulations could be where Andy lives. He’d make something up about someone not being able to officially move in with you. But six out of seven days isn’t fully living here.
You hum as a sleeping Andy pulls you closer to his front, his own taut body curling into yours in the perfect spoon. You’d been awake for a bit, but wanted to just soak him up this morning, knowing the kids are snuggled up in their beds, unaware that Andy had stayed the night. You worry how they’re going to react to seeing another man in the bedroom, even if they were excited about the new bed.
His soft beard tickles on your neck as he inhales, and you can’t help but to trace the vein on his arm. You could get used to this too easily. It’s so perfect. So comfortable and cozy, and today is going to be a perfect day. It is your weekend, and it is a beautiful fall day to spend with your family. Yes, Andy is part of that family, and if your kids didn’t adore him as much as they did, you might think twice about him staying until they wake up.
His lips pucker against your skin, and his breathing changes. Silly man, he is kissing you in his partial sleep addled state. You wonder how light of a sleeper he is now because you already hear the door to Suede’s room crack open. Can hear his heavy footfalls as he goes to see if his sissy is awake. There’s only minutes from him going in there until they’re padding down the stairs. Suede scooting more than anything.
Slowly they creep into the living room, and you hear Suede gasp, “Mama at?” His voice hurts you a bit because he sounds concerned. He’d become too accustomed to you sleeping on the couch.
“She wouldn’t leave us,” Audrey breathes in deeply, sniffing the air, “She’s not cooking.”
“Bed?”
“You go check.”
“Ooo.”
“I think you should,” they go back and forth a few times, and Andy kisses the back of your neck for real this time. It is a little bit groggy, but he does it.
“You are scaring them. Just say their names.”
“Shh,” you want them to genuinely just spot Andy when they come through the door. It wouldn’t be too much longer now. Their footfalls get louder, and then the sweetest mama whispers off Suede’s mouth the same time as the door starts opening, and his head peeks through first with Audrey shortly after.
“Mama?” The question on his voice is easy to infer. Easy enough for Andy to sit up so Suede can see his face, and he giggles, dashing to the bed along with Audrey. They’re both so fast, and then pulling their bodies onto the bed, and looking at the two of you. “Why?”
“Because we’re going to the pumpkin patch today.”
“Aye!”
“And we’re going right after breakfast,” Andy responds. You look at both kids and realize that you’re all smiling, including Andy. “So we should get started right now!” He sits fully upright so quickly that you all three start laughing. “Doe, you want to pack us some snacks for the day, and then I’ll make some breakfast?”
The amount of times that you realize how much more superior he is over Scott is too many to count, sometimes you wonder if this is just a dream. A figment of your imagination that you made up, so being alone wasn’t so hard.
But now, you’re going to be able to accomplish tasks so much faster because he is willing to help. He wants to get things going at the same time so it didn’t take as long. You didn’t have to be in a foul mood already because he wants to sit on the couch and watch the game. He is truly a part of the day in every sense.
“I’ll pack snacks. Let’s see what you got for breakfast.”
—
“Mommy,” Audrey gives a whisper as she tiptoes into your bedroom. You have just finished pulling on your boots. She gives a quick spin, “I really like this,” smoothing out her dress. She walks over beside you wrapping an arm around your leg, “Can we wear kinda matching clothes more often?”
“Of course sweetheart. Are you ready?” She twirls again before following you out of the bedroom, and your heart swoons at Suede in Andy’s lap. Both laid back watching Bluey, and Suede’s hand is petting on Andy’s beard. Andy in suits is hot. But Andy in flannels with your baby boy in his lap is quite possibly the sexiest thing you have ever laid eyes on.
“Yes! We’re ready, and look at you two, you match,” he scoots his body towards the edge of the couch, allowing Suede to get down, and he makes a sound you hadn’t really heard before, and then he walks out of the living room and towards the playroom. “I’ll have two beautiful girls with me today.”
“Ouch!” You turn around to see Suede stomping his foot, a toy falling behind Audrey, “Suedey that hurt!”
“Suede Theodore Huffman, you apologize to your sister right now,” Audrey tries to hold back tears as she kicks the block away, and rubs the back of her head. “We don’t throw things.”
“Me, too!” He screeches, tapping on his chest. “Me, too!”
“Audrey doesn’t have to say sorry, you do,” Suede normally is the average two year old. And then sometimes he has fits that typically included him not being able to tell anyways what he really needs.
“No no! Me, too!” His foot stomps again, looking at Andy. “Me, too, Na Na!” He smacks on his chest repeating his words over and over again, becoming more frustrated when you don’t understand. “Na Na! Me! Pease!”
Suede’s cheeks turn blotchy as tears stream down his face. “Bubba, it’s okay, I guess,” now Audrey is the one slamming herself down on the couch, and crossing her arms pouting. These moments are the ones you fear will cause Andy to rethink this relationship. Children are little people with emotions too big for their bodies, and things like this happen. And sometimes they happen often.
“Mama, me, too. Na Na!” You turn back to look at Andy, apologizing. He had been rubbing on the back of Audrey’s head where the block hit her. “Na Na! Me!” Your attention is back to Suede who gets that awful sound in his throat. This didn’t happen often, but during a few times when his frustration of having to vocalize something in so few words makes him so upset his breathing stops, and the crying takes over.
Dropping to your knees, you calmly kneel in front of your son. Trying to gently persuade him to breathe, so you don’t panic, “Suede, look at mommy. I need you to breathe,” it’s staggered and painful, but the screaming stops, but not he’s still unable to catch his breath.
Holding his hand you put it over your mouth. Inhaling and exhaling slowly. Methodically, “Buddy, breathe, we’ll figure it out,” his chest heaves, and he watches as Audrey runs into the kitchen. “Eyes on mommy, buddy.”
“Suede, breathe, and then you can tell us what’s wrong,” Andy squats down beside you, getting on Suede’s level instead of towering over him. Making him feel comfortable instead of making him feel fear for nothing being able to communicate. Becoming a safe space of communication instead of Scott’s screams that prolong the ordeal.
“Here, bubba,” Audrey hands him an applesauce pouch. “I know you didn’t want to hurt me,” she’s too kind, and he still will apologize once he’s calm.
“Hey, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Suede points at his pumpkin shirt, and then at Andy’s. Babbling as he points at you and Audrey, but always ending with his chest and Andy’s, repeating ‘Me, too.’
“Na Na.”
“Andy?” He asks, and Suede nods his head. A smile tickles the edges of his mouth when he realizes that Andy is following along.
“Me — too,” Suede exhales so slow. It’s long and drawn out, but it helps him regulate the oxygen to his lungs.
“So,” Andy looks at you and Audrey. His eyes looking over your outfits before back to Suede, “Are you upset that you don’t match mommy and Audrey?” Suede shakes his head no, tapping on Andy’s chest, and repeating Na Na. You pout, knowing exactly what he’s trying to convey.
Andy smiles and nods his head, “Are you wanting to match with me?”
“Chess!” Suede starts wiping at his eyes, and then rubs over Andy’s flannel. “Dis. Ike dis.”
“You like this? Well, does he have flannel?” If you weren’t doing a hands off policy with Andy, you’d kiss him right now. That was one of the shortest temper tantrums with Suede ever. Obviously it was the first with Andy. Again little bodies and big emotions. “First, I think you need to tell your sissy you’re sorry. And next time, maybe we can talk before you throw things?”
“Tay,” Suede walks to Audrey, and gives her a big hug. The two of them giggle a bit, “Ree.”
“Okay, go find your shirt so we get good pumpkins for the stairs,” Suede grabs onto Andy’s hand, pulling him towards the stairs, and Andy picks him up. Carrying him up the stairs to rummage through his clothes. It was a moment that could have been avoided, and yet you still feel some butterflies that your son wants to dress like Andy. Wants to match him like you and Audrey match.
You just have never thought about buying matching outfits for him because Scott never would wear that. He preferred to pick out his own clothes, and didn’t want to look cutesy. “Auds, you want an applesauce pack, too?”
“Yes, please. Do I need to help with the car?”
You can see that she’s buzzing with excitement about Suede getting to dress like Andy. His flannel pairing nicely with yours and Audrey’s outfit. “No, baby. Here you go. I’m going to put the stroller, and stuff in the car, okay?” She blows you a kiss before heading up the stairs to babysit, of course.
With there being a lot of walking, you take the double stroller in case Audrey gets tired of walking. Carrying the bag of snacks and drinks to the garage, you smile a bit at Andy’s Audi beside your mom car. While this might not be your home with him, it’s the little things of your car and his being next to each other in the garage that make you happy. It’s the big things like Andy being the one to figure out Suede’s tantrum. And the sexy things like him being a good dad and keeping Suede busy while you got ready.
It’s the way that the three of them walk into the garage. Audrey holding his hand, and Andy holding Suede. They weren’t identical, but close enough to make your baby have the biggest proudest smile on his face. The way he looks even sexier as a dad. You bite your lip as Andy hands you Suede. He leans in for a kiss behind your ear, “You’re drooling.”
Oh, he’s walking with a bit more of a swagger than before. The flannel somehow emphasizes his shapely tits that you can't get enough of. He smirks, walking past you to open the door for Audrey. Helping her get in, and you have to contain yourself enough to get your toddler in his own seat. “You look handsome, bubs. You want to dress like Andy?”
“Chess!” Blowing raspberries on his neck, you place him into his seat. “My Na Na,” oh. Oh, that hits you hard. It’s not just you falling for Andy, it’s also them. They’re falling just as hard as you. The comfort, and the lack of weirdness today. You can never be sure how children will react to change in their home. And everyday is going to be different, but today has started off so good. The tantrum wasn’t great. But the result couldn’t have been better. Especially seeing Andy and Suede dress similarly.
Suede blinks hard over at Andy, and Andy winks back before closing the door. Both of you get in together, and just so there’s not any weirdness, you wait until he backs out of the garage, and gets turned around, and you settle your hand into his. Weaving your fingers together, and Audrey giggles, but Suede beams up at you and Andy.
“So which cheesy 80s music are we listening to today?”
“No! Play Taylor Swift!”
“Tip Tip.”
“No! I don’t want to listen to Tapleton. Play Taylor!” Andy smiles in the rear view mirror before turning on some AC/DC. It isn’t what either wanted, but Suede taps his foot along with it. “After this can you put on Tapleton for Suedey, and then a Taylor song for me, please?”
“Yes, since you asked nicely, and wanted to share, Chris Stapleton is next, and then Taylor,” you settle into the ease of the ride. You didn’t care what they listened to. It is the fact that everyone is happy and together. Stealing a glance at Andy, he squeezes your hand a bit. Today is going to be a good day.
“Andy! What about this one?” Suede grunts, trying to pick up a large pumpkin, while Audrey points at the pumpkin in question. “It’s kinda blue!” They have spent the better half of the afternoon picking out pumpkins, and trying to get Andy’s attention more than yours. Running up ahead of you and Andy, just to stop and make sure you’re both paying attention.
You had caught Andy’s prideful smile as the employee helping you on the hayride commented on his beautiful family. He smiled so big as he thanked him, and then clamored behind you and Audrey. Suede rarely left Andy’s arms, or lap, or hand. He has found him his buddy, and he clings to him constantly.
There’s a tiny part of you that is ridiculously jealous, but another part that loves that he has someone that Suede feels comfortable with. Someone he’s proud of. A man that he has chosen, too. “Can we have this one on the steps?”
“Chess. Ugh…big!” Suede stops trying to pick the pumpkin up, but points at it, until Andy leans over to grab it. You get a cheeky look at his scrumptious rump, and Suede keeps a hand on the pumpkin, ‘helping’ of course.
“Don’t ever stop checking me out, Doe,” he whispers, putting the pumpkin in the wheelbarrow. He drives you crazy with his whispers. These private flirty conversations with just him drives you wild!
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” how has life turned so happy? There’s an intensity, but it’s not tense. You keep calling it easy, but even that doesn’t fully explain everything. Comfort. Joyful. Cute. Hot. Sexy.
“Did you know you do this clicking noise with your tongue when you’re thinking about what you want to do to me?” the kids have already run off again, and you can look at them as an excuse not to stare at your beyond sexy boyfriend. “They have three more pumpkins to pick, and then we get to decorate the stairs for fall. Tell me you weren’t checking me out.”
“I shouldn’t lie.”
“You’ll admit that, but not that you make a noise? It must be involuntary then, hmm? It’s kinda hot though, so don’t stop. I love knowing I turn you on,” he steals a kiss before returning to the wheelbarrow, but first he pulls up his flannel shirt to give you a better view of his ass before following the kids. He’s in a flirty and cheeky mood today, and you’re loving it.
The both of you decided to let the kids guide the way in the corn maze. You and Andy stay behind as their giggling little voices trail ahead, discussing which way they’re going to turn. “I really like today,” Andy says out of nowhere. His eyes have stayed on them just as much as your own, and the way that he hasn’t hesitated to hold onto your hand.
“I’ve always wanted these moments with you, ya know?” Audrey and Suede stop at a crossroads, trying to figure out which way to go, and Andy pulls you in for a hug, and a quick peck. Releasing you before they make the decision. “It’s so simple, but these moments are just — the best. Can we make this a tradition? Pumpkin patch on the second weekend in September?”
“I love that idea. And,” you start walking once they’ve decided the direction they want to go. “I always wanted these moments, and I think I lied to myself in thinking that anyone could have replaced you.”
Andy sighs, squeezing your hand a few pulses. “Because I know how much you enjoy this, and want this, and you’re going to treasure these moments just as much as I do. So thank you. Their dad never did things like this with us. If we did this, it was just me and them. I think Scott just wants to do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it.”
“Daddy!” You and Andy both start walking faster as Audrey turns a corner, but Suede comes running back to you, holding his hands up for Andy to pick him up. Andy scoops him up right as you hear Taylor’s obnoxious cheery squeal.
“Oh, great,” groaning, you decide to be cordial. They’ve already spotted Audrey, so it’s not like you can hide. “Hey, Scott. Taylor,” you nod. With Scott holding Audrey, you see Taylor put her phone back in her pocket, a photo clearly just being taken. No doubt she’ll add some stupid caption on her Instagram, pretending to be the perfect step mom.
“Took you long enough to check on our daughter,” he emphasizes ‘our’ when he sees Andy holding Suede. “What are you doing here?” The bigger question is why is he here with Taylor, and wouldn’t be caught dead here with your and your children.
“I thought that the kids would like to enjoy some fall activities,” if Scott knew anything about Andy, he’d know how clipped his words seem, and just how irritated he sounds. “Tell your dad how many pumpkins you picked out,” Suede’s head picks up from Andy’s chest, and he holds both hands up.
“Ten pumpkins, huh? Wow. If you want, Scott and I can take the kids, and you and — whoever this is can have some time alone,” Taylor’s smile is sickeningly sweet. You want to like her, but the image of her disrespecting your marriage can never be forgiven, even if it was an already ruined marriage.
“Oh, no, they’re fine. We haven’t even got to see the kids’ play area,” some people didn’t understand you could have fun with Andy and the children. Knowing Scott as soon as he got a free moment without kids, he’d sneak her off somewhere to get in a quickie.
“Oh, it’ll be nothing. Suedey, you want me to hold you?”
“No,” Suede lays his head back on Andy’s chest, and you almost feel sorry for Taylor. Almost. She’s trying to win against you, and now Andy. She might be able talk Audrey into walking around with them, but never your son.
“Baby, it’s fine. They don’t need help with the kids,” vomit. Baby. You wonder if he realizes how gross it sounds to be calling this twenty-three year old baby, when he’s twenty years older than her. She’s literally young enough to be his baby. This relationship shouldn’t have moved past sex.
“I think they need to babysit their mom and Andy anyways, huh, Barber?” Ugh, Scott is such a pig. Everything has to be about sex. One day he would realize you and him have built a relationship that extends past the physical parts.
“You two know each other?” She’s fucking clueless. Of course she is, she could barely understand the nuances between you and Scott.
“Barber here is the DA.”
“What’s a DA?” You look at Scott instead of her. How could he not truly explain his career with his fiance? She truly is a clueless ditz.
“District attorney,” Audrey giggles. She does a little dance in between the four of you, oblivious to an odd pisisng contest between Andy and Scott.
“Oh, so you’re like a lawyer?”
Andy’s grin is so condescending as he looks at Scott, his brows raised a bit. Her age shows with more than just her looks, “Yeah, I’m the chief prosecuting officer. I’ve been in court against Scott a few times.”
“So you’re like the bad guy?” Scott presses his hand on his temple in annoyance, and Andy just shrugs. You hope he enjoys every stupid conversation with her.
“Depends on who you think the good guy is.”
“Andy wants to become a judge,” Audrey adds. Smiling up at Andy as she does so. She lifts her hands up to you, and you pull her up in your arms, even though Scott clears his throat. You dare him to tell you not to hold her, ‘she’s too big to be held.’ She’ll be held if that’s what she wants.
“The man with a hammer! That’s really neat,” neat? This girl was meant to only be a babysitter. You seriously question the fact that Scott has this woman helping him on his weekends. Who is having questions that a child would be asking.
Audrey giggles again, “It’s not a hammer, silly goose, it’s called a gravel.”
“Gavel,” Scott can correct his daughter, but not his grown fiancé, “Baby,” Scott clears his throat again, leaving Taylor to smile awkwardly at him. I guess he found a woman that will pick up on his clues for behaving, unlike you… “It’s their — her weekend to have the kids. And how and who she chooses to spend her weekend with at this time is her prerogative.”
“Andy has been the only person sharing our weekends with us. But you two have a great time. I’m sure you’ll get lots of photo opportunities for instagram,” her genuine smile makes you feel bad for making fun of her interest in posting aesthetically pleasing photos. She’s young, that should be what she’s doing. Not becoming a stepmom. And yet your care also just wasn’t there.
“I know! They have these amazing caramel apples. Want to see my pictures? Oh!! The kids will love them. They have some with pecans and chocolate, and one with walnuts and…”
“Suede can’t have walnuts,” Audrey interjects. Frowning as she looks at her. “He could die!”
“Oh, that’s right. Little nugget. No matter. The food they have here is amazing!”
“She usually packs Suede lunch. He has to miss out on food at places like this a lot,” yeah. That’s your cue to leave. If Scott wants to point out Suede’s differences and how he might not get to experience things like others, you didn’t have to listen to it. Suede’s lunches were a just in case type of thing, and you always made them fun for him!
“Well, you two have fun. Tell daddy ‘bye’, guys,” Audrey responds quickly, blowing him a kiss, but Suede won’t look at him. “Suede, tell daddy, bye. We’re going to go to the kids’ playground, and you and Audrey can run around until it's time to eat!”
“Bye, daddy,” Suede doesn’t lift his head, and barely even looks at Scott, but he waves his hand, and drops it back to Andy’s chest. His fingers gripping onto his shirt, like if he lets go that Scott can pull him off Andy. Now to grab the stroller again, and let the kids get out some energy. You try to not see Taylor as much as possible, and this is the reason why. She infuriates you.
—
“How are you feeling?” You and Andy sit at the picnic tables, while the kids play. You squint in the sunlight, keeping your eyes on them, when you really wish you could give Andy your undivided attention.
“I’m fine. I just hate that he doesn’t see how controlling he is. How he doesn’t see that he is just using Taylor as a way to make himself feel more like ‘the man’. She’s easy to control because he’s significantly smarter, and experienced in life. And he makes the money, so she shuts up and deals with it, until she’s tired of his tyranny, and most likely move onto a man that won’t have to pay child support and alimony.”
“You got all that with the interaction, too?” Peeking over towards Andy, you nod your head. “Does he really think she can be a safe option for your kids? She couldn’t even remember Suede is allergic to walnuts?”
“And she shouldn’t have to, and yet, here we are. The only thing I blame Taylor for, is the fact she was well aware that we were married. She babysat them while we went on dates. I think they both suck for that. But,” you turn your eyes away from them as you smile up at Andy. “I should thank them. We’d been in Newton for a few years now, and you were always right there. Had I met you before now, I might have been the one cheating. No, I definitely would have,” Andy leans in for a chaste kiss.
Your hand rubs up his chest, holding the kiss a few moments longer. The disintegration of your marriage is so layered. What killed you that day is the one thing that set you free. But admitting that had you known Andy was right here, you would have been the one cheating is liberating. He was always the one, and always worth it.
You revel in this moment of comfort. Hearing the sounds of kids playing in the early fall weather. It’s just happiness. Pulling off Andy, you gaze up at the most amazing man you have ever known, and know that there’s no way to explain just how much he means to you.
And of course happy moments have been short lived for some time. Suede’s blood curdling scream hits you first, and you jump up. Scanning the play area when you see his feet stomping around. Holding out his hand, while Audrey swats at something. Andy and you sprint over towards him, and you know something is worse when his cries change. It’s a sound you have never been able to get out of the depths of the darkest places in your mind.
“Andy, my bag. Get it fast,” tears blur your eyes, but you’re on autopilot going over to him. Picking up both kids and getting away from a swarm of yellow jackets, and you set both down, kneeling on the ground. Suede’s breathing labored, and his cries are completely gone as he struggles for air.
His mouth opens and closes, and no sound comes out of him. His airways cut off, while tears pour from his bloodshot eyes. Your sweet angelic baby turning into a nightmare before your eyes. Visions like these haunt you. Your worst fears materializing.
“Andy!” Audrey cries up at you, and you start undoing Suede’s pants, the pen working better without a barrier. Andy drops to his knees beside you, and you reach in for Suede’s EpiPen, pulling out the separate pouch, so it’s easy to grab. “Hold her,” you can’t handle her own tears when your only focus is oxygen to Suede.
Suede’s face gets all blotchy, the color changing with the lack of air, and you press the pen in his leg. Counting the seconds it takes for his airways to clear, and he looks so scared as that first strangled breath is inhaled. “We gotta go to the ER. Buddy, hey baby, just keep looking at mommy,” you wipe away the tears that stain his face. “It’s okay, baby. Andy is going to get us to the ER, okay?”
“Mama,” his voice is the sweetest thing right now. Even if it’s difficult for him. Even if everywhere on his body is swelling. “My mama,” how many times did those fucking beasts sting him?
“Yeah, baby, mommy is right here. Andy and sissy are getting everything, and we’re going to make sure my baby is okay?” You are already making your way to the parking lot. Andy can handle Audrey and the stroller, you just want your baby out of the crowd, and away from all the people asking if he’s okay. It’s just you and him. He needs to just see you.
“Mommy?” Audrey meets you in the parking lot, and hugs both your legs. “Can you sit in the back with us?”
“Yes, sweetheart. Did you get stung, too?”
“Just once, but Suedey had them all around him. I couldn’t get them away.”
“My brave strong amazing girl, you did amazing. You showed no fear when it came to yourself and bubba. You did perfect, baby, and I’m so proud of you,” she knows you’re upset with a steady flow of tears running down your face and dripping to your neck, but she hugs you back nonetheless.
“Alright, come on,” Andy helps Audrey into the car, buckling her up, and you shudder to think you have to put Suede out of your arms. You just want to hold him, so you can feel his breathing. “Doe, honey, if you want to hold him, you can get in the third row. Never feel bad about it.”
“You’re sure?” You rarely question what you’re doing as a mother, but right now, hearing that it’s okay has relief rushing through your body. The adrenaline finally subsiding, and your fear spikes. You’re so exhausted, but the thoughts of putting your son in his car seat is making your heart race. The fear of seeing him like that can never be erased. Add that to the fucking list of allergies that he has to endure.
“Of course, honey. Let’s get him to the ER. Here, I’ll hold him, while you get in. Just make sure to hold Audrey’s hand, okay?” You nod as you hand Suede to Andy. Knowing how much harder this would be if you were alone. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay because it has to be.
It’ll be okay.
He’ll be okay.
They’ll be okay.
You don’t even matter anymore.
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Happy Pride! Authors choice! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
a continuation of 1
Gus is going exactly eight miles over the speed limit when the sirens start.
This is Shawn’s fault, since he’s the one that had agreed to meet Gavin right before they were supposed to be at Henry’s. When he glances up to see the large, white cop heading towards him, he decides that if Shawn’s gotten him into this mess, he can get him out.
Shawn is very, very serious about keeping his work and personal life separate, but this is the one instance that he encourages Gus to break that barrier. If more major cities had a diverse police force, he wouldn’t feel like it was necessary quite so often.
Unfortunately, since Shawn has yet to get the appropriate stationary, he’ll have to go back a generation with this trick.
“What’s this?” the officer says, staring at the back of his license.
“Oh, that’s my father in law’s old police business card,” he says. Shawn reaches out for it back when he does this, but Gus keeps his hands on ten and two. “Apologies, sir, I’ve been carrying that thing around for years. Can never be too careful, as I’m sure you know.”
His eyes flick to Gus’s hand and the gold band on his ring finger. “You’re Henry Spencer’s son-in-law?”
“Yes, sir,” he answers evenly. “I’m actually headed to his place now. You know how he is about punctuality.”
That gets him half a chuckle and the tension in his shoulders starts to ease, up until the officer asks, “I thought Henry had a son?”
It can be a delicate balance, weighing the potential racism against the potential homophobia, but this isn’t Gus’s first time doing this either. “Lots of people think that. It’s the unfortunate name choice.”
That gets him some more sounds of amusements, then his license is being handed back to him. “Tell Henry and the missus that old Kingfisher says hello.”
“Of course, thank you, sir,” Gus says, pleasant smile firmly in place until old Kingfisher is back in his car.
He carefully pulls back onto the road and stays five below the speed limit the rest of the way.
There’s a lack of rusted piece of junk motorcycle out front – Gus would prefer it if Shawn would just buy a decent bike, but he likes tinkering too much for that – and he wishes he was surprised. Henry’s grilling in the yard and he waves a hand in greeting as soon as he steps out. “Gus! What the hell are you driving?”
If only Shawn was here right now, because he’d said the exact same thing when he’d pulled up in the blue Echo and he was still valiantly fighting against the very real truth that he and his father can be uncannily alike. “It’s a rental.”
Henry wrinkles his nose, but any further commentary is cut off by an obnoxiously loud engine as Shawn turns the corner and parks next to him, kicking down the stand and pulling off his helmet in one motion. He clocks the look on both their faces immediately and holds up a hand. “I know, I know, don’t be the moldy grape at the bottom of the bag about it. I’ll fix it this weekend. I’ve already put in the order for some of the parts.”
That’s sort of the truth. They’re going to the junkyard on Saturday so Shawn can play Frankenstein, but there are a couple things he buys new every time because one motorcycle accident due to a worn belt was one too many for Gus.
“Can’t you two just get a couple of normal cars?” Henry sighs.
“This is a normal car!” he protests, holding the gate for Shawn to walk ahead of him. He really hopes that he didn’t meet with the mayor in jeans and a flannel, but he also knows better. Shawn slaps his ass as he walks by, and he’s tempted to yank him back into a kiss, but Henry hasn’t seen them since he picked them up at the airport and he figures they can be on somewhat good behavior for at least one dinner.
“I have dubbed it the Blueberry,” Shawn says, using the same voice he does when giving stupid names to chess pieces.
Henry rolls his eyes even as he pulls Shawn down to ruffle his hair, causing him to yelp and pull away, even though the helmet had flattened it enough that he’s probably doing Shawn a favor.
It’s all normal and familiar and they eat dinner on the porch, the weather a welcome relief after the last couple of years on the East Coast. Gus is thinking about how nice it is to be back in Santa Barbara and how much happier Henry looks than when he was in Miami, and that’s probably only partly to he and Shawn moving back too, when Henry says, “What are you boys doing for work now? Gus, Shawn said something about you working on some sort of drug trial?”
Which is when he realizes that Shawn hasn’t told Henry why they’re back like he promised he would and Gus should have known that he would chicken out, but now he’s trapped at this table. He considers simply fleeing and locking Shawn out until he talks to his father. Henry’s seen him do worse.
There’s really no such thing as impressing the in-laws for him. Well, maybe with Madeline, but Henry knows him too well and has known him too long for there to be any of that. Shawn’s mother has too, technically, but he saw her a lot less than Henry.
“Yeah, he’s an executive at Middle Earth Pharmaceuticals,” Shawn says, as if Gus hasn’t frozen with the fork halfway to his mouth. Henry is frowning. It’s too late.
“It’s Central Coast Pharmaceuticals, Shawn,” he says, lowering his fork. Henry’s steak is his favorite and now he can’t even enjoy it because it’s a steak built on lies.
He shrugs. “I’ve heard it both ways. They want him to revamp their internal systems and rearrange some routes. Plus they’re hoping they can use his contacts to make more sales.”
That last part had been more implied than listed in his job duties, but he’s not wrong. “More or less.”
“Alright,” Henry says slowly, now aware that there’s something wrong but not having yet figured it out. He still has time to run. “What about you, Shawn? Surf instructor? Ballon animal operator? Sommelier?”
“Dad, please, you know I’d never cheat on Gus,” he answers. Gus can feel his knee bouncing underneath the table against his own, the only sign of his anxiety.
Gus clears his throat. “I know you know what a sommelier is, Shawn. You’ve worked at two different wineries.”
“Well, neither of them were French,” he says, as if that doesn’t prove that he knows exactly what it is.
Henry leans back in his seat, staring them down in a way that reminds him uncomfortably of their childhood. The line between Cop Henry and Dad Henry had always been thin and retirement hadn’t really done much to change that. Gus stares at the space over his head while Shawn continues eating with faux obliviousness. Finally, Henry says, “Alright, just tell me. It has to be better than Boston. I hated you working out there with those assholes.”
Gus slinks down in his seat.
Henry frowns before straightening. “You’re not working in Los Angeles again, are you? Shawn, you made enemies there, a lot of them, you can’t just waltz back in, and Karen isn’t there anymore-”
“It’s not Los Angeles,” Shawn interrupts.
His frown deepens. He knows if it was another stupid, casual job then Shawn would have told him already. “This isn’t like Argentina, is it?”
God, Argentina. That had sucked. It was supposed to be legit, and had been, up until Shawn had gotten involved in – well, Gus does his best not to think about it, since he’s not supposed to know anything about it. Neither is Henry. As far as they’re supposed to know, Shawn worked at an Argentinian winery for a year.
And he did! At least on paper.
“Nope,” Shawn says, popping his mouth on the last syllable.
“Alright, enough,” he says, “this is ridiculous, just tell me…” As he trails off, his eyes get wider. Gus doesn’t whimper, because he’s a grown man, and because of exposure. He’s nearly immune to Henry’s temper after all this time.
Nearly.
“Shawn!” he shouts. “You are not working at the SBPD!”
Gus stands abruptly, his chair screeching against the floor. Shawn reaches out to grab onto his shirt, but Gus hops back. “I’ll just get started on the dishes, shall I?”
“Traitor,” Shawn hisses, but Gus refuses to feel bad about this.
As much as he doesn’t want to be a widower, he knows better than to get in-between Shawn and his father.
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Living with Raphael
Because I’ve seen so many people do “domestic bliss” posts and similar stuff about other BG3 characters and it made me think. I love him but I would rather go skinny dipping in the Styx than actually live with this man, because I believe he would be the shittiest roommate ever. Here’s why:
Micro-managing: You can’t do shit without his endless sneering and commenting on every tiny little thing you do and it’s all in the name or “keeping the order in his house”. In reality, it has nothing to do with order, it’s just that he has a very particular way of doing things and you’re supposed to just be able to read his mind.
His tantrums: I just know he’s just like his daddy. Calm and collected one second, and literally tearing something apart in unhinged anger the next. How do you know which mood he’s in? You don’t. He can sit quietly doing his business and a simple “how are you” will be enough for him to explode about something that has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Endless yapping or total silence: You’re either forced to listen for hours about something or you literally can’t get him to talk because he’s in his own head. If it’s the former, he doesn’t even care if you don’t want to listen, he will make you listen and don’t you dare pull your attention away from him. If it’s the latter, you might get a “mm” or a ‘yes’ if you’re lucky, but he’s not listening regardless. If you’re unlucky, refer to point two.
Can’t fucking sit still for two seconds: he’s always doing something and it’s all hours of the day. He does not give an imp’s ass if you’re asleep if he decides it’s time to play a fucking symphony on the organ at three o’ clock in the morning. He’ll loudly recite poetry as well and it’s the same couple of verses again…and again…and again…”until it’s perfect”.
‘Mine’: (This is basically Raphael if you’re that age where you remember this show.) Nothing is ‘yours’ or ‘ours’, no no. You’re in his house, no matter how long you’ve lived there or even if you’re goddamn married. Everything is his (you included because you’re under his roof).
Mind games: This one is pretty obvious. Everything will be made into a manipulative mind game of some sort and it would be about the stupidest shit sometimes as well. He’s constantly playing 3D chess and I would resort to, not only eat the pieces to win, but also to maybe just throw the whole board away. Not dealing with your psychological torture, my dude.
Haarlep, I salute you 🫡 No one should be forced to live with him.
#from my drafts. bit of a shitpost really#raphael bg3#raphael the cambion#bg3 raphael#baldur’s gate 3
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Smoke Eater - Part 15
Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader
Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real.
That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.
AN: Thank you as always for the lovely responses on the previous chapter! It was a long one, so thank you for sticking through with me. We're about to lighten up a little with some Christmas spirit! ❄️🎁
**Also, if you're a fan of The Boys (and Soldier Boy), there's an awesome book you can check out, called Supes Ain’t Always Heroes: Inside the Complex Characters and Twisted Psychology of The Boys.
If you want to learn more about the book (including cast interviews and a character study on Soldier Boy), I wrote a review about it here!
Otherwise, on to some more firefighter!Dean!
🔥 Series Masterlist
Word Count: 5,800 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, fluff, tinge of angst, hurt/comfort, lots of feels.
Part 15: “The Good Part”
“How many damn arrests does that make?” Daniel asked. He gripped his pool cue with both hands while he leaned on it.
His son stood at the other end of the pool table, lining up his shot. He paused to think.
“Six,” Nick replied. His cue released, and it knocked two of his balls into the pocket.
“Six,” Daniel repeated, while Nick came his way to find an angle for his next turn.
Daniel shook his head. His lips were angrily pursed. His eyes might’ve been on the pool game, but he was playing chess in his mind. He had underestimated John Winchester for far too long, it seemed.
The man was stubborn as all hell. And he’d been busy lately, getting “Azazel’s” men busted for all manners of bullshit.
“Alastair’s mole says Winchester’s been calling in favors from his old friends in Narcotics, trying to bust our small fries,” Nick reported. “Getting them on everything from petty theft to drug possession, with intent to sell. But it’s nothing we can’t pull ‘em out of.”
“Time, money, added risk,” Daniel cited on his fingers all the reasons why John Winchester was a pain in his ass. “It’s only a matter of time before they get a warrant to rip apart Savage & Co., sweep the whole damn building. For forensic evidence, our files, all the jazz.”
Daniel’s fingers drummed thoughtfully against his chin. “A damn cop thinks he’s being cute.”
Nick missed his second turn. His hand fell against his thigh in annoyance, but he looked up.
“Dad, it’s your move.”
Daniel rubbed at his chin. His eyes were no longer seeing the board in front of him. Eventually, they slid up and met his son’s gaze.
“We’re going to start from the beginning,” he said.
Nick’s face gave away his confusion. “What? What do you mean?”
Daniel just smiled.
It was Christmas Day, and John was late. Sam and Dean were used to that drill, so they weren’t expecting him until dinnertime.
Meanwhile, it gave you a chance to find your footing as you got to know Eileen. She had helped you bake the pies that were now cooling on the counter (pumpkin and berry crumble), and a few of the side dishes for dinner. Sam had covered cleaning up the rest of the house, while Dean tackled his favorites: the ham and the mac and cheese.
Now the guys were in the living room watching football while you and Eileen were still in the kitchen, decorating some gingerbread cookies you two had made. She enjoyed it; doing holiday crafts with her students had been bringing out her artistic side, she told you. You were happy for the help and the conversation.
You later tried to cover up your snort of laughter as she finished telling you the story of how Dean once dared Sam to wear women’s underwear for a whole week.
If he managed it, Dean had promised to do all the household chores for three months. If Sam couldn’t make it the whole week, then he would face the consequences: Dean would tell their dad about the bet.
“How old were they?” you asked.
Eileen scoffed. “Sam was a senior in college.”
You burst out laughing again. “So too old, is the answer… Did he win?”
Eileen gave you a mischievous smile.
“He did,” Dean said, as he appeared in the kitchen doorway with a familiar smirk. “I’ve got photographic evidence. It was a cheetah print thong, in case you were wondering.”
Your eyes widened on a laugh. “Oh my God.”
Cheetahlicious, you couldn’t help joking in your mind. Even if you’d rather not think of Sam wearing a pair of Victoria Secret’s best.
Eileen giggled with you. Dean’s amusement gave way to curiosity as he eyed the little gingerbread men you two were icing. You warned him off with your eyes, but it took Eileen batting his hand when he tried to steal a cookie.
“Hey! Wait ‘til after dinner,” she said.
Dean pouted. “Come on, don’t be stingy.”
Rolling her eyes, Eileen sighed.
“You’re like one of my kids,” she said, while signing with her hands. But she caved and handed him a cookie. “Here. To tide you over.”
Dean smiled and signed back to her in ASL, Thank you.
“That’s why you’re my favorite,” he said. He leaned down to kiss her cheek in a brotherly gesture.
He shot you a wink before taking a bite of his prize. You shook your head at him, even though you were smiling. He came around to your side of the table. His hand rested on your back and he bent down towards your ear.
“I actually came over for you,” he said. “Got a minute?”
Your brows rose, but you turned to Eileen in askance. “I’ll be right back. Is that okay?”
She nodded and made an “OK” gesture. “Of course.”
You smiled and let Dean lead you out of your chair, and even out of the apartment. He made sure you both grabbed your coats by the front door.
“Where are we going?” you asked. While you put on your coat over your sweater and jeans, you didn’t notice him grabbing two sets of keys.
“Just downstairs. No big deal,” he said, hefting on his own leather jacket.
You eyed him with some suspicion, but you walked with him down to the elevators and let him keep you close to his side. He smelled like the cologne you bought him for Christmas, and he was already wearing the new watch as well.
You’d struggled to find him the right gift. Nothing felt quite enough after everything he’d done for you the last few months. He’d assured you that he was grateful for both gifts, and had even tried to say the watch looked too expensive. (You’d shut him up with a kiss.)
Now, you had to wonder what he was up to as he led you into the parking lot, but not toward Baby. Instead, you two stopped in front of a shiny silver Chevy parked in a guest spot.
“Dean, what’d you do?” you asked, both excited and worried. He shot you a grin and dangled the keys in front of you.
“You like her?” he asked. His eyes were dancing. “You could keep her, if you ask nicely.”
Your face slackened. You looked between him and the sleek looking car.
“What?” You covered your mouth with both hands. Even after a few moments, your brain was still having a hard time computing. “No…what? Oh my God!”
You grabbed onto his jacket, just in case your legs failed you. Dean laughed and gathered you up in his arms. By the time you peeled your eyes away from the silver beauty to look up at your boyfriend, there were tears already swimming in your eyes.
“Dean, this is really too much. Where’d you find—”
“Bobby had it sitting in his garage for years,” he explained. His hand came up to brush your cheek, and the tears there. “I cleaned her up, dropped in a new engine, safe-proofed with new tires, new airbags, the works. Got her purring like a kitten.”
Your eyes grew a little wider with every admission. Then you softened, gripping the edges of his jacket while you bit your lip to keep it from wobbling.
“How much did he sell it to you for?” you asked. Dean dropped his head back with a sigh.
“Don’t you wanna take a test ride before we start hagglin’?”
You lightly smacked his chest. “Hey. How much?”
He let out another heavy sigh, but you eventually got it out of him. While the price wasn’t as bad as you might’ve expected, you still shook your head.
“I still have a decent chunk of insurance money left. I’m giving you at least half,” you said.
Dean shook his head. “This is my gift to you.”
Your lips pursed, despite the smile that wanted to peek through.
“Nice try,” you said wryly. “You already got me perfume.”
“That was just the decoy.” He grinned, and held you a bit tighter against him. He nodded towards the car. “She’s the main event.”
You wanted to sigh, but this conversation wasn’t over. You were definitely not letting him buy you a whole new…old car. You turned to look at it again.
“What model is this?” you asked.
“2002 Camaro Z28,” Dean rattled off. It sounded impressive, but you didn’t know much about cars.
He let go of you so you could get a closer look. Your hand passed over the hood, but didn’t touch, as if you were afraid of staining the paint with your fingerprints. He had to admit, he’d waxed it up good and managed to get rid of a lot of superficial nicks and scratches.
What he said was true though; Bobby had given him a frankly ridiculous deal. Because when Dean had told him what you’d been through after the car accident, dealing with your grandfather’s passing, and now your ever-mounting expenses, Bobby hadn’t let him walk away from Singer Salvage with anything else but this car. He’d even helped Dean get the new parts he needed to fix it up.
“Is it automatic or manual?” you asked, trying to peer through the driver’s window. “I haven’t driven stick in a hell of a long time.”
Dean came up from behind you and his warm hand found your hip. You let him draw you back into his arms, leaning against his chest.
His lips were close to your ear when he said, “I think you’re damn good at driving stick.”
It took you a second, but the heavily laden innuendo in his deep voice was hard to miss. You uttered a laugh and swatted his arm.
“You’re ridiculous,” you said. You were still smiling when you turned and twined your arms around his neck. Then you leaned up for a kiss—one that kept getting deeper with the full force of your gratefulness, and your love for this man.
“It’s an automatic,” he answered, between kisses. You giggled against his lips.
You barely felt the chill on the air. Your heart was beating fast, even when you pulled away from him. Your eyes slowly opened and met his. He smiled down at you and curled an errant strand of hair behind your ear. As usual, you had most of it clipped up.
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he said. His voice was quiet, but steady.
You let out a shaky breath. Emotion was clogging your throat, making your tears burn anew.
“This is a bit more than a Christmas present,” you said. He gave a more self-deprecating smile.
“Well, it’s also kind of an apology,” he said. “For getting you mixed up in my ‘family business.’”
He still felt guilt beyond belief for putting you in danger. For your life being threatened. For being the reason you couldn’t go home.
You just shook your head. Your hand raised to press against his cheek. Your thumb drew tenderly along his chin.
“I thought you said you were part of my family now?” you said. “We’ll figure this out together, like everything else.”
Dean’s eventual smile lightened you, and his kiss warmed you down to your toes.
“If you want, let’s go for a ride after dinner,” he said.
It was your turn to smirk. Your hands migrated under his jacket and teased at his belt.
“Well, I’m certainly down for a ride,” you said.
Dean laughed and squeezed your hips. “All right. I’m puttin’ you on my naughty list.”
When John finally arrived, the brothers welcomed him in first with big man hugs and good-natured ribbing for him being so damn late.
In Sam’s words, Upholding a Winchester family tradition.
John had taken that with a chuckle. “Smells damn good in here.”
“Yeah, food’s been done for an hour,” Dean prodded at him again. His grin betrayed his teasing, however. His welcoming hand stayed on his dad’s shoulder until they reached the living room, where Sam had set up a longer fold out table and chairs to function as the makeshift dining room, since the table near the kitchen only seated three.
There you were opening a bottle of Jack Daniels. You smiled up at John.
“Figured you were more of a whiskey than wine kind of guy,” you said. You were a bit nervous to see him again, no doubt with flour in your hair and frosting staining your hands. He clasped your shoulder with a hint of a smile.
“You’d be right. Good to see you, darlin’,” he said.
“You too,” you replied. Despite the fact that the first and last time you two had met, it had been in front of your house as the police rifled through your life, looking for more explosives. He graciously didn’t bring that up as he greeted Eileen next.
Once dinner was on the table, there was a lot of catching up between the brothers and their father while you and Eileen continued talking, even through dessert.
“This really is amazing,” she told you, pointing her fork at her slice of berry crumble. “I can see why you went to culinary school.”
You blushed as Sam, Dean, and even John echoed her praise. All three men had generous slices of both pies.
“Well, thank you. I’m glad you guys enjoy it,” you said, and your smile was genuine.
You loved making good food, but you loved feeding people even more. Whether it was a simple hearty soup or a rich dessert, you liked putting smiles on their faces and giving them a good experience; one they could share with their family and friends. Even better if it was your family.
Or as Dean would say, Your people.
To you, that was life.
“I’m tellin’ you, if you opened up a bakery you’d make a killing in this town,” Dean said. He nudged your hand with the one that held his fork; it held a precarious piece of pumpkin pie.
You shot him an amused look.
“Don’t you look at me sideways, I’m serious,” he said, laughing a little, but his gaze was steady.
Your cheeks warmed against your will. He believed in your dream, even when you couldn’t quite let yourself.
“Hey, if you ever want to look into applying for a loan, I could help,” Sam said, earning your attention. “I have a friend who works at a bank.”
Your brows raised. “Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah, we were pre-law together back in college, but he figured he was better with numbers.”
You smiled. “Well, it would make it easier knowing I was dealing with your friend.”
“Yeah, his name’s Brady. Let me know if you want me to call him,” he said.
You bit your lip, but you nodded. “Thanks. I’ll let you know.”
Maybe they were right. Maybe you should start to believe in yourself, just a little bit more.
“This was all real delicious,” John said to you, when you came back from bringing the leftovers to the kitchen.
Sam and Dean were already arguing about who was doing the dishes and who was drying them. Meanwhile, Eileen was putting away the food (and probably rolling her eyes).
“Yeah, it was a team effort for sure,” you replied. “Dean’s actually a really good cook.”
John chuckled. “Yeah, well, he didn’t get that from me. I can barely boil a damn egg.”
You smiled to yourself; you could imagine Dean got it from his mother then.
Meanwhile, John was watching you stack the empty plates as he grew more contemplative. He’d always been proud of his sons. They were good men, with strong heads on their shoulders.
He often looked at Sam and saw that he seemed happy. Despite the demands of his job, he was learning to balance that with the life he led with Eileen. As a father, John looked forward to the day when they made a firm foundation, taking the next step towards building a life together.
But Dean had seemed to him, a little unstable. John was still proud of his eldest, but while he’d seen a glimpse of it that day at your house, he saw it even more today. Like his son finally had an anchor, tethering him to dry land.
Even so, he couldn’t help heaving a sigh. And he asked you something he knew he shouldn’t.
“Have you given any more thought to filing a report on Nick Savage?” he asked.
You paused in your plate and cup stacking. You looked up at him with a frown, but you thought about your words before you said something rude.
“Yes, I did,” you replied. “I decided my life and my peace were more important.”
He let out a short sigh. “I understand—”
“I’m sorry, John, but I don’t think you do,” you said. Your words were matter-of-fact, if a tad more sharp than you meant them to be. Your hands were starting to tremble.
You crossed your arms to try and steady yourself, but Dean ended up doing just that, by joining your side and resting a hand at the small of your back. He was frowning, glancing between you and his father.
“Tell me you’re not talking about what I think you are,” Dean said, addressing John in particular. “Not on damn Christmas.”
“Like you said, it’s her decision,” John replied. His gaze once again focused on you.
You let out a breath, mostly of exasperation.
“I’m going to bottom-line it for you. If I report that man, and you can’t guarantee me a job and safety until it’s all over, then I’m not poking the bear,” you said. “I plan to keep my head down until I can find another job. Until then, you can have at him all you want. Just leave me out of it.”
Part of you felt selfish. You knew what John was trying to accomplish, and you knew how personal this fight was for him, and for Sam and Dean for that matter. You just couldn’t shake your gut instincts here. You knew Nick far too well by now, and you didn’t want to underestimate him again.
“I agree,” said Dean. You gave him a grateful look.
John conceded with a nod, but all of you knew he wasn’t satisfied. It became a bitter ending to an otherwise brilliant day after he left for the night.
In your mind, it wasn’t quite over yet though. You had a plan up your sleeve for one Dean Winchester.
Sam and Eileen had their own time together while you and Dean went for a drive in your new car. You’d have to transfer your plate and registration and insurance, so it was technically an “illegal” drive, but it was already late and traffic was scarce.
By the time you pulled back into the parking lot, you were smiling from ear to ear, and Dean was giving you that smug grin that said, Aw yeah, I did good.
You couldn’t even fault him for it, because he did exactly that.
Even when you and Dean were getting ready for bed, it didn’t quite feel real. You were living with your boyfriend of just a few months, you now had a new car, and a crime lord had threatened your life.
You chose to focus on the new car. And on your boyfriend, who sat on the edge of his side of the bed, rubbing his right shoulder through his shirt. You knew it must still be sore, though he likely wouldn’t admit it.
Hence, you were about to enact Phase 1 of your plan…
You hadn’t undressed yet from your jeans and sweater, but you crawled across the bed to come up behind him and drop a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“How’s your slugging arm?” you asked.
Dean quirked a smile at you over his shoulder. “Just fine.”
“Dean,” you said. Your tone was gentle, but warning. No downplaying.
You pressed your lips against the side of his head and soothed your hand along his shoulder and down his arm. Still, he was resistant.
“I’m fine, sweetheart,” he said.
You hummed. “Okay. I guess you don’t need a massage then.”
He paused. His head tilted just so, once again turning to you over his shoulder. You spied the edge of his piqued interest, his grin.
“Well, if you’re offering…”
You withdrew your hand from his arm, but you spoke close to his ear.
“Are you asking?”
He let out a small sigh, despite his lingering smile.
“All right. Will you please give me a lil’ massage?” he asked.
He couldn’t see your triumphant smile, but you happily kissed his cheek.
“I sure can,” you replied. You laid gentle hands on his shoulders, however briefly. “Stay right here. Don’t move, but take off your shirt.”
“All right, Miss Bossy,” he grumbled. You knew he was teasing by the amused look he threw your way.
“I thought you liked that,” you teased back.
You climbed off the bed before he could playfully grab you, and you giggled all the way to the bathroom. There you began Phase 2 of your plan.
First, you collected a few different bottles from your designated drawer under the sink. Then, you made a quick wardrobe change, after popping back into the bedroom to grab something from your nightstand.
You also connected your phone to the speaker on his nightstand and put some music on a low volume. It was a playlist he’d made and shared with you a while ago, with songs he thought you’d like. The Eagles’ “Take It to the Limit” was definitely on the list.
By the time you returned to Dean, he was indeed shirtless, still in his sweatpants, and checking his watch.
“I’m here, I’m here,” you said. You climbed across the bed with your small haul—a difficult feat with your hands full, but you managed.
Dean turned to look at the bottles of moisturizer you dropped next to him on the bed. He rose a brow.
“Twilight Woods. Japanese Cherry Blossom. Appletini. Are these my only options?” he asked. His face was half bemused, half reluctant.
You almost burst out laughing. “Which one strikes your fancy?”
He scratched the back of his head. You opened the second bottle first (your personal favorite), so he could smell.
“Not bad actually,” he muttered. You bit your lip so you wouldn’t giggle, but you managed to open the other two for him to get a whiff.
“Eh, the first one I guess,” he said.
Japanese Cherry Blossom. AKA: a classic from Bath & Body Works.
You finally had to laugh. “Just kidding. I’ve got this.”
You held up a jar you’d been hiding behind him. Its logo said: Massage Oil.
“I just wanted to see which girly moisturizer you secretly wanna slather all over yourself,” you said.
Dean shot you a wry look, but only then did he see what you were wearing.
“Oh, hold up,” he uttered.
Your hair was let loose, how you knew he liked, and you’d teased it out a little. You’d had to give away the red lingerie you’d bought, to rid both of you of its lingering memories of your work Christmas party. Instead, you’d found something in a vibrant emerald green: satin and lace.
Dean’s hand reached for your waist, probably to bring you closer. But you playfully slapped his hand.
“Eh-eh! Not yet,” you said to his surprised face. You smiled. “I have a plan for you tonight.”
Slowly, he smirked. His eyes still dipped to take in the rest of you, from your pretty face, to exposed skin and cleavage, to shiny satin that clung to your curves and draped down to mid-thigh.
“I can see,” he said. His voice was a notch deeper. “Merry Christmas to me.”
Despite your blush and growing smile, you turned him back around by his shoulders.
“Just relax.”
You let your hands drift up the back of his neck to slide your fingers through his hair. There you began with a slow, gentle massage of his head. You felt him take a deep breath.
You couldn’t see it, but Dean’s eyes had closed at your ministrations. He secretly really liked the feeling of your fingers running through his hair. It made his shoulders loosen; with tension he didn’t know he had releasing from the neck down.
Aside from the rigors of his job, he also had to work out and condition his body to keep up his stamina. He probably didn’t spend as much time as he should on this aspect of things, making sure he wasn’t overtaxing himself.
He appreciated what you were doing though. He knew you cared about him, that you loved him. But he liked that you were also a caring person, who tried to take care of him. Dean hadn’t really had that…from anyone before. Sometimes, it was hard for him to let you.
…Damn, we really got too much in common, he realized.
When you migrated back down his neck, your hands left for a moment to gather up some oil. It was warm against his skin when you started between his shoulders, digging with the heel of your hands.
He groaned deep, surprising even himself.
Behind him, your brows were furrowed. “You’re really knotted up here. When was the last time you had a massage?”
Dean chuckled. “Never.”
You frowned. “Hmm. Okay, we’re definitely doing this more often.”
“No complaints from me,” he said with a grin.
Of course, you gave special attention to his right shoulder. You were gentler there, asking what was tender and what felt good, or too much. By then you had an easier time getting the truth out of Dean. He let you know when the pressure was too much, and you even helped him stretch out that arm until the muscles and joints were warmed up and the pain was gone.
You encouraged him to lie on his stomach in the middle of the bed, so you could start on his back. Your hands glided down planes of muscle and smooth slopes while you straddled his thighs. The only sounds you heard from him were occasional moans and rumbling, pleased sounds. That was also what let you know that he hadn’t fallen asleep.
“Okay, turn over,” you said, smiling when he groaned in protest. “I haven’t even gotten to the good part.”
“What the hell’s the good part then?” he asked. His voice was muffled in the mattress, but when he turned around, flopping onto his back, his eyes once again took in the green satin and seemed to remember what your real intentions were.
“Oh, yeah,” he said. His grin was lazy, now that he was beyond relaxed, but his hands found purchase on your hips. You smiled down at him.
You let the remaining oil on your hands glide up his chest, until you lowered down for a kiss. It was unhurried and sweet.
“I love you, you know?” you said.
Dean swept his fingers through your hair, tucking a few strands behind your ear.
He smiled. “I’ve got some idea, yeah.”
You both laughed, soft and true. Your hand rested against his cheek as you pressed your lips to his, soft and slow at first, but soon gaining in both passion and urgency. You felt his grip on your hips tighten, grinding your center against his growing length.
He groaned. No goddamn panties on. Good.
You kissed your way from his lips to his neck. Your teeth grazed his ear while you rolled your hips into his. It was a tease for both of you, but not for long, as Dean grew impatient enough to slide his sweatpants down, followed by his hands slipping under the satin covering your thighs. They traveled further still, squeezing your breasts and rolling hardened nipples under the pads of his thumbs.
Your breath hitched, and your pleased hum was music to his ears. By now you were bracing yourself against the mattress, but you used his shoulders as leverage to raise yourself up.
You took his hands and encouraged them to bunch up the satin and pull it over your head. Dean sat up with you still in his lap, and once his strong arm wrapped around your waist, it was skin to flushed skin.
You held his face and brought him down to you for another fierce kiss. He held you tightly against him, hands splayed across your back and tangling in your hair. His arms were a cage you never wanted to escape.
But you did press away from him, just for a moment, so you could reach down between your bodies to take a firm hold of his cock. You guided it to your entrance. There was already a small flood between your legs, and your core ached for him.
There was almost no resistance when you slowly sunk your hips down and down, until he was buried deep inside you.
You both made sounds of pleasure, with labored breaths as Dean’s hand cradled your cheek. He laid open-mouthed kisses to your jaw, teeth grazing down your neck.
You clung to his shoulders and began to move, slow in the way you let almost the full length of his cock escape you, before you slid back down. Dean moaned into your skin, and you let out a shuddering sigh.
You pushed at Dean’s chest until he was lying back, and you continued rolling your hips against his. He helped you create a steady rhythm on top of him, but he was being treated to a feast of the eyes as well as the pleasure rocking through his body. He watched the way you swept your hair back. The way your eyes closed and brows furrowed in concentration as you bit your lip.
But he couldn’t stay still for long; he knew he was close enough to practically taste his end, but you had some miles to go. He gripped your thigh with one hand while the other glided up between them, to further part your folds. His fingers found your clit, circling insistently like it was a button. It had your hips stuttering.
“Oh, God,” you uttered. “Dean—”
He managed to smirk through panting breaths. “Right there, right baby?”
You nodded, unable to speak. You continued to move as steadily as you could, but the feeling of him deep inside combined with his talented fingers playing you like a five-string guitar—it finally made you tighten on him, shuddering deep inside. Tingles broke across your skin, zipping up your spine as you gasped.
Dean helped you with the last few hard thrusts that brought him along with you, and you felt his warmth spilling inside you.
It was a heady feeling, and you needed a moment just to recover. Even though you were on birth control, every time he came inside you still felt like a dangerous, delicious game.
But after you slid off his lap and practically rolled into his side, him welcoming you with an arm wrapping around your waist, it did make you think, as you caught your breath.
It made you think about the first time you and Dean slept together. It had been the first and last time you’d asked him to wear a condom. The next morning, he’d made a remark that still hung in the back of your mind…
“You like kids, huh?”
The thought still rattled through your mind now, after you and Dean shared a quick shower, ridding you both of the oil clinging to your skin. The thought remained when you slid into bed, under fresh sheets and thick covers, and close to your man. He cupped your cheek and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You closed your eyes at the feeling.
Contrary to what this night had been, the whole “moving in together” thing hadn’t been all that easy. You two had bickered about the way he often left drawers and cabinets open and dirty clothes on the floor.
He had made remarks about your hair products taking up too much space in his drawers. Not to mention how morning routines needed to adjust because Dean liked to shower in the morning, but you needed the mirror not fogged up in order to do your makeup.
Right now, however, you had peace. You felt safe here, and you weren’t alone in a huge house filled with far too many memories.
“Can I ask you something?” you said.
Dean’s lips lingered on your forehead. “Hmm?”
“I know this situation is sort of temporary, me living here,” you said. “So much has happened that we haven’t really talked about…what we both want, down the line.”
He pulled back enough from you to see your face. His face betrayed a thread of confusion.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean like…” you hesitated, but you realized you were probably going to have to be direct. “Are you a marriage and kids kind of guy? Is that even something you’ve thought about?”
Dean met your gaze. It took him a moment, but he let out a short sigh.
“You wanna know what made me want to start dating, for real?” he asked.
You blinked; you hadn’t expected that, but you nodded.
“I started thinking about what would happen if something happened to me on the job,” he said. You frowned, but before you could say anything, he raised a placating hand.
“I thought about what I’d leave behind,” said Dean. He quirked a wry smile. “It’s not much, besides my car.”
You frowned in earnest. Your hand flattened against his bare chest.
“That’s not true,” you said. “You have your brother, your father, and your friends. That’s plenty, Dean.”
He conceded that with a nod. “You’re right. But I just started thinking, maybe I want more. Like uh…like what my parents had, when they were happy. The house, each other, me and Sammy…a family.”
You couldn’t be certain in the near total darkness of the room, with only the moonlight filtering through the blinds and casting a glow behind him, but you thought you saw a shine in his eyes. Your hand crept up from beneath the covers to find his cheek. It was rough with stubble, yet you tenderly swept a thumb back and forth.
“I think that’s beautiful,” you replied.
Dean paused. He then huffed in amusement. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you smiled, hoping he could see it.
“Then uh, is that something you’d be into?” he asked. You were amused by his tentative approach.
“With you?” You pretended to think. Your fingers slipped into his hair. “Yeah, I think I’m into that.”
He chuckled. “Okay, then. Good to know.”
He grasped your wrist and turned his head to press a kiss into your palm.
And he spoke into the dark. “I love you too, you know.”
Your smile deepened as you rested your head against his arm. You whispered into the small space between your faces.
“Yeah, I’ve got some idea.”
AN: All righty, how'd you like that fluff overload?
...Ready for some more drama? 😏
Next Time:
But the more you thought about what you’d heard, and Nick’s ominous threat about a cop, you found yourself scrolling lower in your contacts. You called John Winchester.
It rang a few times, and all the while you made silent, fervent prayers. Pick up, damn it! You could hear your own heartbeat in your ears.
“Winchester,” he answered.
“John, it’s me,” you whispered. “Azazel’s here. Or, he’s not here, here, but I know who he is. Well, I mean kind of—”
“Okay, wait. Slow down,” he said. “What about Azazel? You know who he is?”
Keep Reading: PART 16
Dean Winchester Masterlist
Main Masterlist
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headcanons | john marino
SUMMARY: boyfriend!john
WARNINGS: not proofread
more boyfriend!player headcanons
✮. my fav nighttime boyfie! he just screams domestic nights on the couch. like you guys don’t really even have to be doing a whole lot, but doing it with him is a privilege. being able to cuddle and watch a movie or cook dinner together.
✮. loves giving you nicknames! whether they stem from something stupid you did or just because it reminds him of you. will range from the most random of things. from stuff like doll, honey, love, to weird ass names based off of things you like. (for example, if you love to read he might call you “bookie”)
✮. also loves when you give him nicknames. i’ve said this before and i will say it again, he melts anytime you call him johnny. he could be busy doing something and hear the “hey, johnny?” from your room and he’s bolting back there with big doe eyes ready to fall at your feet. gets mad whenever you call him john. and don’t even get me started on what he does when you call him marino. (spoiler: he pouts)
✮. park dates! especially during the fall. john has mentioned how his favorite season is the fall (big boston guy) so he love love loves to take fun walks with you through boston and the surrounding areas while the leaves are falling down around the both of you. bonus points if you “forget” your jacket and you have to wear his.
✮. he loves sweet treats. always bringing you something sweet every time he comes over. you guys have a specific bakery that you always go to, it’s to the point where the owners know you by name and order. but will always have that familiar paper bag in his hand whenever he’s knocking at your door.
✮. board game nights! will not hesitate to beat you in a game of chess. eventually he will let you win because he hates seeing you pouty. although, i feel like he sucks at any type of racing game lowkey. you normally end up having to let him win if you’re playing mario cart.
✮. wants you to teach him how to do your hair! john loves to watch you get ready in the mornings and how you fix your hair, so naturally he wants to know too! will most likely not be very good, but it’s the thought that counts!
✮. loves to find good books and read them with you. you guys are your own mini book club tbh. you decide on a book every month and read a chapter or two together everyday/night before bed. will read with you over the phone if he’s on a roadie.
✮. beach trips to the max during offseason. he’s mentioned that he loves the warm weather and tropical destinations, so you know he’s got his calendar BOOKED with fun tropical vacations for the two of you. always makes sure to bring an extra bag or two with stuff he knows you’re gonna end up forgetting in the rush to leave.
✮. lazy mornings with john > everything else. + if they are during the fore mentioned beach trips. the balcony doors are open, letting in the soft sea breeze while john is placing soft kisses along your body to wake you up. the sheets are all over the place due to the risqué activities you partook in the previous night. 
✮. begging for him endlessly
#john marino#john marino x reader#john marino headcanons#john marino imagine#john marino blurb#njd#new jersey devils#lea writes stuff ♡
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Okay, but Bruce Wayne plays chess. And you can pry this hc out of my cold dead hands.
Remember that Bruce Wayne is the tactical genius behind the Justice League’s success. Strategical maneuvering is his thing. And on top of that, he’s excellent at reading people. (He didn’t earn the title of the World’s Greatest Detective just because he’s pretty—he earned it because he’s so fucking good at figuring out how people think).
Chess is the hellchild of both tactical strategy and extreme observation. Any chess master worth his rooks utilizes both of these disciplines—because chess, at its heart, is a game about using complicated moves to outsmart another person.
So naturally Bruce fucking loves it.
It’s, like, the only board game he’ll actually play. Yes, he’ll sit through a round of Bananagrams with Steph or Scrabble with Jason or (one time) Bop It with Dick, but he mostly does that for the kids and doesn’t put much of his brainpower into it. But chess? Bruce won’t half-ass it. He will eviscerate you.
No. Mercy.
Because other than the Riddler’s occasional break outs from Arkham, chess is the closest thing to a brain teaser that Bruce can feasible get. (His brain works way too fast for those ones you can find online and solving murder cases a little too depressing to be any fun, even if they’re particularly hard to crack.) For him, chess is fun in a way a lot of games just aren’t.
He’s forced all the Batkids to learn it. It’s like unofficial hazing in Wayne Manor—once you know chess, you’re basically a part of the family. But most of the kids don’t like it all that much; Dick can’t sit through it, Jason got too frustrated, Damian was taught by Ra’s and now hates chess by extension, and Steph, Duke, and Cass don’t see the point if they know they’ll never actually be able to beat Bruce.
So they all hate it—except for Barbra and Tim.
Barbra is the only one to have beaten Bruce while he was at the top of his game. Her mind moves like a computer and she counter-attached his strategy before Bruce could even compute what was happening. Now they play every other Wednesday.
Tim got his ass handed to him the first few times he played Bruce, but took that as a challenge. He ended up going on an entire side-quest with Young Justice to uncover some hidden chess manual just so he could have a leg up on Bruce—but Bruce is still just a little bit better. Now, whenever they play, the matches last up to 20+ hours and neither of them will say a word the entire time.
So, yeah. Bruce plays chess.
#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne headcanon#tim drake#barbra gordon#chess#bruce wayne is trying#bruce wayne is a closeted chess master
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Check (Spencer Reid x Reader)
Literally my first fanfic since middle school, sorry y'all. I got that Spencer Reid brainrot. ALSO how does this work on Tumblr??? I legit haven't done this since you could fancast on Wattpad.
Spencer Reid x Reader | 1,470 words | Fluff | GN!Reader
Literally you two on the jet playing chess, set in season one/early season two.
“Do not even think about it!” You yelled, “I’m going to win if this is the last thing I do!”
Reid struggled to stifle his crooked smirk. He knew you were just going to get more upset if you saw him smiling. “I was just going to say you’re in check.”
“I’m going to put you in check in a second, Reid.” The chessboard was beginning to mock you. It must have been rigged. There must have been magnets underneath the board changing everything making this impossible to win. Plus Morgan’s soft snorts whenever you yelled at Reid reminded you that the rest of the team was watching you get your ass handed to you.
“Actually you have less than a three percent chance of doing that,” Reid explained. “And if anything about the last six games have been telling then it’s probably lower than that.”
“I swear to God, Reid,” you exclaimed. “I’ll show you what check looks like.”
You weren’t even sure how you got here. Gideon had cornered you after the case saying “he needed to rest on the jet” and that “you should get Reid to teach you how to play chess” something something “it’ll make you a better profiler” something something else. You were bad for not always listening to Gideon’s Dad-isms, but you couldn’t always help it. You wanted to rest! The week in New Mexico had been exhausting. You wanted nothing more than to close your eyes on the jet with your headphones blasting whatever awful audiobook you started before the case that you didn’t really care about and sleep. Sleep like no one could wake you up for another thousand years. Plus, you were pretty sure it was more of the case of Gideon was worried about Reid and less of you needing to be a better profiler. Sure, you weren’t the top of your class but you were far from a fledgling who needed chess to make you better at your job.
Despite that, there you sat. Six lost games of chess later, and only an hour and a half into the four and half hour flight. Maybe it was pathetic to try to fight at this point. The cheat sheet Reid had written up for you felt useless. The pieces all blurred together and what even was the difference between a rook and a bishop?
“Are you going to make a move?” Reid asked.
“Yes! I’m just thinking,” you shifted the way you were sitting, slightly bumping the table, getting a terribly brilliant idea. The pieces had just jumped slightly as you hit the table by accident. You just had to sell it.
“Do you feel that Reid?” You asked, the fake worry dripping like honey from your voice.
“Feel what?” He snapped his head back and forth between you and the side of the jet.
“Oh no! Turbulence!” You shifted your legs again, crossing them differently; in the process you kicked the table from underneath as hard as you could. The chess pieces dramatically went flying much further and harder than you expected. Rooks and pawns scattered across the table and the floor in front of both you and Reid.
“What? There’s no turbulence, you can’t just scatter the pieces because you were losing!” Reid yelled trying to grab pieces and place them back in their positions. “Plus, I have an eidetic memory, I know where the pieces were!”
The rest of the team was laughing; pulled away from their activities to watch the commotion. You groaned and leaned under the table to grab the pieces.
“If you don’t want to play, you don’t have to,” Reid’s face hadn’t fallen, but from the tone of voice part of you felt it was laced with something. It felt reminiscent of disappointment, but like he was trying to mask it.
You sensed it before you processed it and began to speak on pure instinct. “Sorry, Reid, why don’t we reset?”
Part of you wanted to get to know the brainiac doctor better and this was the opportunity to do so, but it would mean admitting you were bad at something. Somehow you were the most competitive person on the team, and Gideon must have known that. You were always getting your nose into arguments trying to win sheerly for the fact of wanting to win, less about caring about a topic. Some people saw that as a flaw, but you always saw it as the trait that got you here. You lived your life out of spite, and competitiveness was the unfortunate consequence of that. By the time you had grabbed the single pawn off the floor, Reid had leaned under the table searching for it too.
“I got it,” you sigh and go to stand up. In the moment of fate, your confidence was struck down even lower to the lowest of clichés. In a flash of an instance, as the two of you attempted to right yourselves and unfold from underneath the table, you hit heads. It was just like those cheesy rom coms that Garcia forced you to watch on your girls’ nights that you pretended to hate.
“Oh shit, sorry Reid–”
“No, I’m sorry– I–I’m–Um–Sorry, I–” Reid stuttered, and you realized just how precarious your position was, nose to nose under the table where no one could see you.
It was the first time you were that close to Reid, the infamous germaphobe who refused handshakes from everyone always seemed to keep his distance from you. You finally got a good look at him. Glasses that framed his face, his soft doe-like brown eyes, and brown hair that curled just so gently under his ears. The heat began to rise to your face, and Reid’s face had the same reaction. The red blush spread from the apples of his cheeks to his ears and down his neck. You cursed the universe that he was exactly your type: gangly limbs, genius-intellect, perfect eyes and all.
Reid practically jumped trying to get out from under the table, hitting his head as he went and sat back at the seat. You steadied yourself with a deep breath and climbed out from under the table. When you resurfaced, you avoided Reid’s gaze, and Morgan’s eyes were the first that you met. As began to realize your mistake, he began to purse his lips and rub his hands up his arms as if he was poorly making out with his imaginary woman.
“Morgan, if that's how you kiss a woman, I feel sorry for Garcia,” you laced your words with as much venom as you could muster.
You turned back to Reid who was carefully lifting and replacing the chess pieces on the squares.
“Did you know that chess was actually called chaturanga when it was first played in India in the 8th century CE? Plus it was actually played on an eight by eight grid and it wasn’t until it began to spread to Europe in the 10th century CE that it began to shift to the chess we’re playing. Even then it would take over a thousand years before either of us would know how to play,” Reid was coping as best as he could, even though you were afraid you broke him. He was relying on his intellect to avoid the topic at hand.
Why was he even so embarrassed? Why were you? It wasn’t like you thought he was attractive. Sure, he was your type! But that didn’t mean anything. You could think a man was hot without wanting to date him. And sure, he was perfect for you, and maybe you were even more competitive than usual because you wanted to impress him but that would be ridiculous.
Oh…
You were down bad.
“I didn’t know that, although I’m sure you can play chess, I think I’m just moving pieces around,” you shamefully admitted.
“You’ll get it, don’t worry, once you know how the piece moves it will get easier,” Reid’s reassurance immediately struck your heart. Damnit.
“Why don’t you just explain it all to me again?” You asked. “Like treat me like I’m a kid, maybe I’ll get it better then.”
“Okay, so there are 32 pieces on a chessboard, and you control 16 of them. There are six types of pieces…”
“You knew what you were doing,” Hotch leaned over to Gideon watching the two members of the team playing chess; staying as carefully out of earshot as he could. Reid carefully re-explaining the pieces, pointing to each one.
“Of course I did,” Gideon said. “If the two of them pined after each other in silence for two more minutes I thought I was going to lose it. Now they have four hours to spend with each other because neither of them will give up.”
#spencer reid#criminal minds#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#derek morgan#aaron hotchner#jason gideon#penelope garcia#fanfic#criminal minds fandom#spencer reid x reader#reader insert#chess#fluff#i dont know#how do tags even work
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