#it’s another day where I’m asking myself if it’s even worth it to keep being here and holding onto you

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[jenflirts]

mending my broken heart

pairing: tara carpenter x fem!reader

theme: angst :)

summary: maybe you're the one...

warning: profanities, grammar, no ghostface and cheating

a/n: based on my feelings :) | enjoy.

Falling for someone isn’t for weak people,

Nor being attached,

Nor loving someone.

These are the feelings that will make you mentally and physically weak, just because you would do everything just to have them, just to give them all your attention, love, and hell, even your soul, but why isn’t it for the weak? Well, only emotionally controlled people can survive these challenges. These are the obstacles that we face when we’re in love and this makes us vulnerable.

We’ve always thought that if a partner loves or falls for you it means they’ve accepted your flaws, insecurities, clinginess, stupidity, good days and bad ones, but sometimes don’t you think that they accepted that because they needed too? Out of pity? Or sometimes just to play you cause they’re just bored. I’ve always thought about falling in love and being vulnerable to a person, but then my overthinking mind stops me from doing so.

Yeah, taking from my perspective—a person that’s been played and got attached too many times just because they showed affection—I’ve been hurt so much that I don’t even count how many times that they scarred my heart and still gave them another chance. I did everything I could just not to fall for someone, but I just can’t stop myself ‘cause it feels like an addiction I cannot control. I keep thinking about the past relationships I had and even thought about the times that I let my heart heal and mend it by myself and yet, I keep longing for the wrong people and their fucked up affections.

And then there’s Tara, the girl that makes me feel special, the person that let me believe that love is worth waiting for, and love really does exist. Tara is the type of person that would really make you fall in love with her and not in the bad way, but because she’s the type of girl that you’ll feel comfortable to be around with, rides with your antics, will help you in any possible way, and makes you love your true self.

Tara and I have been dating for almost 2 years and the truth is I’ve fallen deeply in love with her, she already accepted my vulnerability and I accepted hers so there’s really no turning back. I’ve thought about these feelings thoroughly ‘cause I don’t want to hurt her nor she wants to hurt me, I’ve always wanted to feel vulnerable around someone I trust and love the most ‘cause I don’t want to let people see my true facade. Tara saw something in me that people don’t and she’s been helping me to cope up with that.

Everything has been great ever since I dated Tara.

December 09

It's our finals and both of us are stressed out since both of us picked a hard course and I actually want to do something special for her since it’s our anniversary so I’ve prepared dinner, movies and gifts just to surprise her. I went home earlier than she did so I could prepare the things I wanted to give and the words that I wanted to say; Thankfully, Sam and Mindy helped me to do everything.

“Minds? Do you think Tara would like it if I gave her a promise ring on our anniversary?” I asked the girl as we strolled through the jewelry shop. She stopped her tracks and looked at me surprised “A promise ring? Really? Doesn’t that curse relationships?” She asked as she glimpsed the rings.

A promise ring breaks relationships? Now what kind of fuck-mind would believe that. “And where did you get that information? Is it one of those crazies at the uni?” I joked.

“I’m just telling you that rings don't mean forever,” she said. That’s actually true, but I’m not gonna listen to her and Tara deserves a promise that I will love her forever so I picked out the ring and necklace for our anniversary tomorrow.

I helped Tara go inside our apartment and took the blindfold off. She engulfed me into a hug and kisses all over my face. "Tara, we need to eat" I said as I put her down on the floor.

Everything went smoothly and both ended with a promise to love and hold forever.

December 14

The day that feels eerie and gut wrenching, it feels so slow and bothering. "Minds, Tara hasn't texted me for the last few weeks and it's concerning me" I said as I tossed her my phone to check Tara and I's conversation.

"She also hasn't been going home" I added and groaned loudly.

"Yeah, I noticed that. You didn't confront her about this? But I always see her at the uni tho" She said.

Is Tara avoiding me? Did I do something wrong last week? Did she do something wrong? Did something happen that I didn't know? A lot of things suddenly hits me, I thought about everything that I've done last week ago, but nothing really came into my mind.

It's already past midnight and I'm still going on about Tara. I heard the door open and keys tossed on the counter. I went outside and checked if Tara's here or just Mindy wanted to crash by.

"Tara? Baby? Where were you?" I asked as I sat beside her on the living room coach.

"Sam's and did some thinking, so can we talk?" she said.

Why does it feel so suffocating? The way she looks at me feels so different; it feels empty and drained. I nodded and sat in front of her.

"For the last few weeks I've been isolating myself to you and it felt different after what I did. It's been perfect for the last 2 years and I loved every single moment that we've done, but I think we must part our ways and fix ourselves" She cried.

What? Just like that? After 2 fucking years? She's just going to throw it all away? I was too stunned to speak, my brain was spewing out words, but my mouth can't function properly. I felt my eyes stung and tears rolled down on my cheeks.

"So? That's it? Gonna throw away our 2 year relationship out the fucking window like its nothing? Damn Tara, I don't know what to say nor to react" I said as I wiped the tears that keep continuing running down on my cheeks.

She doesn't say anything, but her eyes tells me differently like she's guilty for not telling me the reason why.

"Tara, what's the sudden break-up? what's the reason? 'cause I know for a goddamn fact that it's not about self improvement shits. Tell me so that we could fix it" I assured her

She shook her head no and keeps sobbing uncontrollably. I went to her and wiped her tears; I held her hands, "Love? what happened? tell me so we could fix it" I said as I gently squeeze her hand.

She slowly stopped crying and let me wiped her mascara tear-stains. "It was at Wes's parties and you were studying for your final lesson at that time. Amber snuck me out and helped me unwind by bring me to Wes's parties then I got drunk and I couldn't control myself and so did Chad" she explained.

I couldn't believe it.

The love of my life, cheated.

The girl that I trusted the most, cheated.

I felt my whole world fell apart. It feels like my heart just shuttered into pieces, it feels like there's a new cut to it. I feel betrayed, angry and disappointed all at the same time.

I stood up and went back to my seat and comprehend what just Tara said. I can't do this right now, my mind is all over the place.

"babe? hey? I thought we were gonna fix these" she said

does she really think there's something to be fix? I gave her my everything and this is how she repays me. cheating on me with my other best friend? damn, that's another form of betrayal.

"tara, get out. I can't right now. I just want to be alone for a moment"

She doesn't understand what pain I'm going through right now.

After Tara closed the apartment door, I tried smashing everything so that I could somewhat calm down.

I sat on the living room floor and thought about the things that I have done on why Tara have to do this. Wasn't I enough? Am I that easy to replace? Is our relationship just out of pity? There's so much unanswered questions that I have on my mind, but right now I just want to be alone and mend my broken heart.

I thought she was the one that’s going to help me mend up the open cuts that people leave on my heart, but I would never predict that she was going to leave a big one.

(part 2 of my lovely, jenna is on-going)

[morgana-larkin]

Hello, Idk if u're still taking prompts bc it's seems like you're working on a lot of it, but here's a rather, crazy prompt I have in mind (again) afkajdksjsj.

There's a teacher at Abbott for over a year who's somewhat a little private about her life. Particularly her love life which the Abbott staff seemed to have taken an interest of specially Melissa, who's being defensive when she's called out for being too nosey about the teacher, saying she barely knows a thing about her and it's suspicious that maybe she's actually a cop or secret agent lol. Talks of where's the next venue of game night been going around and the group decided [without the teacher even knowing] that the game night would be held at her rather, fancy house to the surprise of the staff, thinking they would see a glimpse of her priv life and finally meet her partner which is apparently non-existent and later on revealed she never had any relationship in the years of her existence, which also, surprised the group yet Melissa unintentionally let a rather loud sigh of relief and the staff and the teacher gave her a questioning look which she became defensive,again, and a stammering flustered mess under the teacher's gaze.

This was so fun to write. I think I steered a little off a bit but still stuck to what you wanted…(hopefully). I tried to make it light, fun and as cute as possible. As always not edited at all and I hope you like it!

On another note: I know I spelled Chessy’s name wrong, my phone autocorrected me and didn’t notice until I posted it. I thought no one would notice until someone messaged me anonymously about it. So I went back and corrected it. I got one more Melissa prompt and two Chessy ones, and I have started on chapter 8 of ‘Worth It’.

The Game of Love

Warnings: reader has a nightmare(small part near the end), I think that’s all…

Words: 3.3k

You walked into the break room after bringing your students to the cafeteria and headed straight for the coffee machine. You’re exhausted after the morning with your kindergarteners.

“Dear, you don’t look good. Rough morning?” Barb asks you and you chuckle.

“Ya I guess you could say that. I don’t know how you do it Barb. Keep them in line all the time, mine were acting like they had sugar all morning.” You tell her with a huff.

“You’re still quite new dear. I’ve been doing this for over 20 years. You just became a teacher 5 years ago and it’s your second year here.” She says calmly, and always the voice of reason.

“I suppose.” You tell her. You grab your coffee and your lunch from the fridge and then go to sit on the couch.

“Y/n, why don’t you sit with us today?” Janine pipes up and you look at her. You know that she wants to ask questions about your life to get to know you since you don’t tell them much. All you’ve mentioned is that you’ve been living in Philly since you were born, your parents are both lawyers, you have a girlfriend, and you got your teaching certificate 5 years ago. In reality you don’t actually have a girlfriend, you just tell people that since you’ve had many friends try to set you up with a woman and it never goes well.

“Um, ok I guess I could today.” You tell her and head over to sit with the trio. You want to open up a bit more to them. With both of your parents being lawyers, you learned to keep a lot to yourself.

“So how have you been? How’s Amelia?” Janine asks as soon as you sat down. Amelia is the name of your made up girlfriend and said you’ve been with her for 2 years.

“I’ve been good, Amelia as well.” You tell her. “How have you guys been?” You ask her and Janine and Jacob both go and rattle on about their day. While looking at Janine talk, you catch Melissa giving you a look. When Janine stops talking, that’s when Melissa chimes in.

“Hey kid, you never say anything about yourself, why’s that?” Melissa questions you.

“I just don’t talk about myself much, that’s all.” You respond back.

“Why? Why are you so secretive?” She pushes.

“I’m not secretive, there’s just nothing interesting about me.” You tell her and she rolls her eyes at you. “Why are you being nosy?” You ask her and she lefts out a huff.

“I’m not being nosy. It’s just, tell us something, like what do you and your girlfriend do on the weekend or something.” She tells you and you quirk an eyebrow at her. “If you don’t say anything, how do we know you’re not a cop or a secret agent or something like that.” She says to defend herself.

“Well I’m not either one, if you want I can show you my certificate and you can see it’s not forged. But you know both my parents are lawyers so I guess I learned to keep stuff to myself.” You say with a shrug.

“Alright.” She says.

“But to answer your question, Amelia and I don’t do much on the weekends. We’re more home bodies.” You tell her and she smiles at you and you blush a bit.

You excuse yourself early, stating you have to get your classroom ready for crafts, and the trio is talking about where game night is gonna be tomorrow night and Ava comes in to get a coffee.

“Why don’t we have it at y/n’s place?” Melissa says and they look at her.

“Wait, are you coming to game night? Cause you didn’t say either way.” Janine asks her and she shrugs.

“I never know what my plans are on Saturday nights.” She says.

“Did you just voluntold y/n’s place?” Jacob asks and Melissa smirks.

“Yep. We can surprise her.” Melissa says slyly.

“We have no idea where she lives.” Janine says.

“I do!” Ava pipes up and everyone looks at her. “What? It was on her application.” Ava says and pours a bunch of sugar in her coffee. Ava says your address and they all have their mouth open in shock.

“She lives there? That’s a fancy neighbourhood! How does she afford that?” Janine gasps.

“I bet her parents bought it for her.” Melissa says and crosses her arms.

“That would explain it.” Gregory says. “We can’t just show up at her place unexpectedly. We don’t even know if she’ll be home or let us in.” He adds.

“She just said she doesn’t go out on the weekends. And she might let us in, and if she does then we can learn more about her. You can tell a lot about a person from seeing their house. Why do you think I never let youse people over to mine?” Melissa says and they all nod in agreement.

“I’m sure she’ll let us in if Melissa was there.” Barb says with a knowing smile. Melissa whips her head around to face Barb

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She questions, confused.

“Barb you’re coming too?” Jacob asks. And Barb nods.

“My Saturday night is free.” She says, Jacob and Janine grinning. Both of them have never showed up to game night before, so the fact that they are now is exciting to the younger teachers.

“OMG, I don’t even know what game I should bring over now. Ava are you coming?” Janine says with a smile.

“Of course not, unlike you nerds, I actually have plans on Saturday night.” Ava says and walks out.

“So there’ll be 6 of us then.” Janine says.

“Oh we can always have a game that requires teams since it’s an even number.” Jacob states.

“Do you guys have a preference for a game?” Janine asks Melissa and Barb.

“A family friendly game. I don’t want to play one of those games with a bunch of sex questions and sex jokes.” Barb says.

“But those are the best ones.” Melissa says. “The less PG the better.”

“Oh how about the game of life?” Janine says. “But we can play as teams. So like you still have your own car and career, but combine income and losses.” They all agree on that and then they all leave to get their students to finish the day.

You are outside of your classroom helping your kindergarteners zip up sweaters and tie shoelaces. One of your students gives you a hug goodbye and you hug them back and tell them to have a good weekend. Unknown to you, Melissa is watching you from her door frame with a smile and soft eyes. Her class is across the hall and one classroom over so it’s pretty close and she has a perfect view to watch without getting caught. Or so she thought at least, she did get caught but not by you, but by everyone else.

The next day, you’re on your couch and wondering what to watch when the doorbell rings. You get to your door and open it and see Janine, Jacob, Gregory and Barb there there with a smile.

“Hello???” You ask them.

“Hi! We thought it would be fun to have game night at your place.” Janine says excitedly. “I brought the game of life.” And you look to see the game in her hands.

You were about to question them more as to why they chose your place without telling or asking you, you open your mouth to speak but then you see Melissa coming up to your door.

“Melissa, you’re here too?” You ask her and she smiles.

“Yep, can we come in?” She asks you and of course you can’t deny her.

“Ya come on in guys.” You say and step to the side to let them all in.

They all walk in and look around your place in awe. “How do you live in a place this big?” Jacob says and you shrug.

“My parents offered to buy me a place when I told them I wanted to be a teacher.” You say with a chuckle. “I declined at first but then the roommate I had drove me to almost wanting to stab him, so I accepted their offer so I don’t commit a murder.” You say and Melissa giggles at that. In reality everyone laughed, but the one you only really notice is Melissa.

“So where’s this girlfriend of yours?” Jacob says and you got so entranced by Melissa that your brain wasn’t processing properly.

“Girlfriend?” You ask him and they all give you a weird look.

“Ya, Amelia?” He says confused. And you suddenly remembered, although with the look they all have, you doubt they’ll believe you with whatever you say.

“I don’t see any pictures of you with another girl around here.” Melissa points out, looking at all your pictures on the wall.

“Alright, I don’t actually have one. I made her up, my friends kept trying to set me up with women and they kept not really going well so I made up a lie.” You say and Melissa lets out a loud sigh of relief and everyone turns to look at her. Melissa’s cheeks turn pink at being heard and put on the spot. “Something you want to say Melissa?” You ask her with a quirked brow.

“Um uh…n-no not really.” She stuttered out and everyone gives a confused look to each other. Barb decides to save Melissa in that moment as Melissa is unable to speak properly.

“Why don’t we go and set up the game?” She says and everyone agrees. You go to your living room and they set it up on the coffee table.

“I have some food I can put out for snacks, I’ll just go get it. Melissa, do you mind helping me?” You ask her and she turns to look at you.

“Uh , ya sure of course!” Melissa says and scrambles to her feet.

There was 2 reasons you asked her for help, you could have asked anyone but you wanted to be closer to her and show her your kitchen. You know from being in an Italian family, she loves cooking and would probably be in awe of your kitchen. And she was, as soon as you both entered, her eyes went wide and mouth open.

“You have an amazing kitchen.” She says and you smile at her.

“Thanks.”

“You must love cooking in it.” She says and you chuckle.

“I actually don’t cook much. I don’t always like doing it.” You tell her and she looks almost offended.

“What? But this kitchen looks like it’s made to be used a lot, to be used to do so much cooking and baking. I mean I would if I lived here.” She says and she set up a perfect opportunity for you.

You get a bunch of chip bags and some dips and place them on the counter. “Well you could always come over and use it as much as you like.” You tell her and her eyes go wide.

“Really?”

“Ya, if you want. I don’t mind.” You say and she smiles.

“I might take you up on that.” She says and you smile at her. “I think you just want to have some of my cooking.” She teases you and you giggle. You have had some of her cooking a couple times over the 14 months you’ve been at Abbott.

“Well I will admit that I love your cooking but you could come and use the kitchen and I don’t need anything in return.” You tell her and she laughs.

She helps you carry all the chips and dips out into the living room.

“Alright, here’s a variety of chips and dips.” You tell them and they all smile.

You then get into teams of two. You expect for Melissa to pair with Barb and for you to end up with Janine or Jacob. Unexpectedly, Barb asks Jacob to team up, and Janine asks Gregory. Melissa gives a look to Barb and Barb just grins at her. Melissa then looks to you.

“Wanna partner up with me.” She asks and you laugh.

“Well thank you for asking, even if there wasn’t any other choice.” You joke with her and she smiles. “I would love to team up with you.” You add and she grins and blushes a bit.

Unknown to both of you, everyone planned this, for you two to team up together and so they all picked someone to team up with before you guys got a chance.

You all pick out a car to use and whether to go straight to a career or college. Jacob and Barb both pick career right away and everyone else picks college and gets debt.

“Oh look at that, I can be either a teacher or a Doctor.” You say and everyone laughs. “I feel I might be a hypocrite if I don’t pick a teacher.” You say and pick teacher and then a salary. Melissa gets super excited and is able to pick firefighter.

“OH HELL YES!” She says as she picks firefighter immediately.

“What was your other choice?” You ask and she looks.

“Uh, accountant.” She says and looks confused at that and you laugh.

Everyone is having fun playing, there’s laughs, cheering and eating. The more the night goes on, the more touchy Melissa gets with you. Now she knows that you’re actually single, she takes the opportunity to flirt with you. She side hugs you when she’s happy with a victory, and sometimes she leaves her arm there for a bit, even after her turn is done. She’s placed a hand on your leg a few times, and everytime she does that, you blush. She rubs your arm when you experience a loss, like paying for the kids for something. “Damn demanding kids. How do we have 4 of them” You say with a pout and she laughs at that. You guys got the most kids and you picked 2 girls and 2 boys, the boys being twins.

You all end up playing again with the same teams but the rule being you can’t pick the same career. Everyone that picked college last time ends up picking career path just to switch it up a bit, while Barb and Jacob pick college.

This time while playing, Melissa has her arm around your waist for half the game and the other half on your thigh. You swear that life is testing you tonight. You and Melissa end up winning both times and Melissa grins at that. After the second time, you all end up watching a movie. The group ends up picking a horror movie, despite your reluctance since you get scared easily.

Everyone is sitting on either your couch or your 2 love seats. Barb and Jacob are spread out on your couch, while Janine and Gregory are on one of the love seats. So you and Melissa take the other seat. Barb and Jacob each use a blanket, Janine and Gregory share one, while you and Melissa also share a blanket.

Since your kids were so hyper today, you were more tired than usual and you were comfy leaning on Melissa a bit. Melissa has the one arm that’s closest to you, propped up on the back of the seat, with the other one on your thigh and her body is turned to you a bit. You end up getting scared pretty early on and accidentally go to hug Melissa during a jump scare. Melissa stops breathing for a second before she puts an arm around you protectively. “It’s alright, you’re safe, I got you.” She tells you and she smiles. Everyone pretends to not notice what happened and hide a grin.

Everyone then decides to leave but since Melissa had a few glasses of wine, so you offer to let her sleep in your spare room so she doesn’t drive home drunk.

Melissa ends up hearing you scream when you awake from a nightmare and she goes over and knocks on your door.

“Y/n, it’s Melissa. I heard you screaming so I thought I’d come to check if you were ok.”

You get out of bed and go and open your bedroom door. “I’m alright, I just had a nightmare. I knew I shouldn’t have watched the movie with you guys. I’ll be too afraid to sleep now, I guess it’s good that tomorrow is Sunday.” You tell her with a small chuckle.

“Oh I’m sorry hun.” She tells you as she leans against the door frame.

“It’s alright, maybe I’ll just watch something on my phone, maybe some stand up and fall asleep again.” You tell her and she looks at you then an idea pops up in her head.

“What if I slept with you?” She says and you look at her with wide eyes and her face mirrors that when she realises how that sounds. “I-I meant in the same bed and sleep… actual sleep not sex.” She defends and you giggle. In your tired state and full of adrenaline from the nightmare, you blurt out something before your brain has time to stop you.

“I wouldn’t say no to either one of those.” You say and she looks at you surprised.

“Really?” She tells you and that’s when it hits you what you said and a huge and noticeable blush makes it on your cheeks.

“Umm, I mean , I… I-I have no idea what I mean actually.” You say and put your hand over your eyes in embarrassment. Melissa takes the hand off your face then looks at you.

“Do you like me? As in a crush.” She asks and you nod, too embarrassed to speak. As soon as you nod, she has a big smile. “Really?” And you nod again. Melissa gets really excited and kisses you. You kiss her back and you both think that it’s wonderful, you both enjoy the kiss but then Melissa pulls back when she realises she didn’t admit her own feelings, verbally anyway. “I like you too.” She says with a huge smile and a sparkle in her eyes.

You giggle at that. “I figured by the kiss.” You tell her and she smiles warmly at you. “I would love the company in my bed to try and sleep, if you’re still offering.” You tell her and she nods.

“Of course. If you want we could cuddle. I was rather enjoying that on the couch.” She tells you and you agree. You cuddle in your bed and you manage to fall asleep wrapped in her arms and a smile on your face, and your nightmares didn’t come back that night.

On Monday morning you come into the break room and get a coffee as usual. You go and sit on the couch next to Melissa to watch the news. She looks at you and smiles and you smile back at her. Everyone is looking at you guys curiously then you see Melissa looking at you with a mischievous expression. She wraps a hand behind your head and pulls you in for a kiss, you kiss her back and hear gasps from everyone. Melissa pulls back after a few seconds and you see everyone grinning.

“Well it’s about time you two.” Barb says. “I’m glad our plan to make you team up worked.” And you both look over at her with a quirked eyebrow.

“You guys planned that?” Melissa says and you smile and lean on her shoulder while she wraps an arm around your waist, still questioning everyone.

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[nomie-11]

Epilogue - Unsent Correspondence from the Desk of Late Rider Cadet Liam Mairi

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before the death of Liam Mairi was reported, and his items were burned, a stack of unsent letters from under his bed were taken by one graduated rider cadet and two second years. Among those letters, three letters in envelopes were addressed to The Wounded Healer, The Drowned, and The Guilty. These three people were later discovered to be Genevieve Hale, Violet Sorrengail, and Xaden Riorson, and were properly distributed. 

These three letters, for preservation purposes, are listed and titled below. 

Transcribed into a modern language by Jesinia Neilwart, Curator of the Scribe Quadrant of Basgiath War College. 

Unsent Correspondence from the desk of late Rider Cadet Liam Mairi

To my dear Violet, 

As I write this, Genevieve is passed out on my bedroom floor, and you’re softly asleep on my bed, in my sheets. I’ve never been good with words, especially ones I can’t bring myself to say out loud. But I need to try, at least this once. Because if I don’t, I think it’ll haunt me worse than the battle scars ever could. 

There’s something about the way you sleep, Vi. So peaceful, like the weight of the world hasn’t touched you. But I know it has. You carry so much on you, more than most people ever should or ever will. And yet, here you are, still fighting, still breathing, still… you. I don’t know how you do it, but I’m grateful every damn day that you do. 

Being around you, fighting alongside you, it gave me something I never thought I’d have in this bloody war—hope. Hope that there’s something worth protecting, something good that survives even in the darkest places. You’re that light, Vi. You’ve always been. And I know I shouldn’t say that because it sounds like something out of one of those stupid romance books we’d steal from Xaden and laugh at, but it’s true. You make me believe in things I should have long stopped believing in. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you the way I promised I would. I know you don’t need anyone to keep you safe—you’re fierce, stronger than most of us—but I wanted to, anyway. It was selfish, I suppose. I was supposed to protect Genevieve, but I wanted to be the one you turned to, the one you trusted with the things you don’t share with anyone else. And yet, here I am, with so much left unsaid. 

There are days, Vi, where I wonder what would’ve happened if we’d had met before the rebellion. Before the fighting and the death, before all of this. Maybe things would’ve been different. Maybe we could’ve had a chance at something more, something normal, something not filled with blood and battles. I’ve never let myself think too long about it, though. Because that’s not the world we live in, is it? We don’t get to have that kind of peace. 

But if I’m honest with you, and I have to be, you deserve that at least now, I wanted that. I wanted you. I wanted us. I wanted to wake up next to you, not just here, not just at the brink of dawn, but every damn day. I wanted to marry you. And gods, I hate myself for saying that because it feels too late, and maybe it is if you’re reading this, but it’s the truth. I’ve wanted that since the first time you smiled at me like I was something more than just another rebellion kid. 

I know this letter won’t reach you while I’m alive. And maybe it’s better that way. But I need you to know, Vi, that if I could go back, if I could change just one thing, it wouldn’t be how we fought or the decisions we made. No, it would be this; I’d ask you to marry me, right then and there. I wouldn’t wait for the perfect moment or a perfect day, because there’s no such thing in a world like ours. 

I’m going to die soon, I can feel it, but I’ll die without regrets. At least, that’s what I’d like to say. The truth is, I do have one. 

It’s that I never got to marry you. 

Yours eternally, Liam.

—-------------------------------------------

To Xaden,

I’m sorry. 

I’ve thought of a thousand ways to say it, but none of them feel like enough. I failed you. Worse than that, I put us all in danger because I couldn’t look at Violet and lie to her about everything. I thought if she knew the truth about Athebyne, it would protect her. But I recognize now that it’s probably going to be my downfall. It’s just… everytime I look at her it’s like the truth spills out. And now there’s no turning back. 

I’ve always known you carry a weight that no one else can understand, not even me. You were forced to lead before you were ready, forced to make decisions that no one should ever have to make. And I made it worse. I wanted to believe that if I could just tell Violet everything, tell her why I had to disappear at night, that maybe this wouldn’t be so hard. But I misjudged everything. Aetos probably read her memories, and by the time you’ve read this, I’ve probably destroyed everything. 

You’re right to be furious with me. I betrayed the only real family I’ve had since my parents died. And even though I did it because I thought it would help, it’s no excuse. I should have trusted you—trusted your wish to remain a secret, trusted that you’d find a way to protect us all, without dragging Violet into it. But I didn’t. And I’m sorry, Xaden. More than you know. 

But now it’s too late for apologies. By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. 

I don’t know how it’s going to happen—whether it’s a battle, an ambush, or just the cruel hand of fate—but I know that my time is coming. And I want you to know that when it does, I’ll go down fighting. Not just for you, not just for Violet, but for all of us. For everything we’ve been through, for everything we’ve fought for, for the futures we all deserved but never got. 

There’s one more thing, Xaden. Genevieve. 

You’re not going to like this, or maybe you will, but I had to make a choice. She’s important—to all of us, yes—but especially to you. I saw the way you looked at her, the way that she was the whole world in your arms. You’re as good at hiding your feelings as ever, but I know you. And even though she’s been forced into this situation, forced to spy on us, I know she isn’t our enemy. 

When it comes down to it, if it’s her or me, I’m choosing her. I’ve made peace with that. If it means you’ll survive and have someone by your side after I’m gone, someone who might understand what you’re going through, someone who’ll stand with you when the world turns to ash, then it’ll be worth it. 

So, if the time comes, and I have to make that choice, know it’s not because I don’t care about you. It’s because I do. It’s because you’ve spent too long losing the people you care about, and I won’t let it happen again, not if I can help it. 

The idea of dying doesn’t seem to scare me anymore, really, because I know when I die I won’t be alone. I’m excited to see my mother again, most of all. I love you more than words can convey, brother. You’ve always been the best part of me. And I’ll see you on the other side. 

Your brother, Liam Mairi

—--------------------------------------------

To Genevieve, 

I know you didn’t want it to go this way. Hell, you’re probably furious with me. And you should be. I never asked for your permission to make this decision, to sacrifice myself for you. But, Genevieve, I think we both knew from that night in February that it would end like this. We just didn’t say it out loud, did we? Some things don’t need to be said to be understood. 

I’m sorry. 

I’m sorry because I know what this will do to you, how much you hate owing anyone anything. But this isn’t about debts or favors or even survival. This was my choice, and I made it because you deserve a shot at something beyond this. I’ve seen the fire in your eyes, even when you’re trapped in a cage that you didn’t build but can’t seem to escape. You deserve the chance to break free, to live beyond the strings people keep trying to tie you to. 

I don’t want you to think for one second that this makes you weak, that my decision somehow implies that you couldn’t make it on your own. You could. You can. But I also know you’ve been fighting with every ounce of strength you’ve got for so damn long, and I just… I wanted to give you a moment. Just one. A moment to breathe, to take control of your fate without someone else calling the shots. 

It’s not fair. None of this is fair. The fact that we’re even here, at Basgiath, trapped between wars we didn’t start and loyalties we didn’t choose—it’s all wrong. But we don’t get to change that. What we can change is what we do with what’s left. And what’s left for me, Geneiveve, is making sure you get out of this alive, no matter what. 

I know you’ll never forgive me for this. I know you’ll curse my name every day from here on out. And maybe I deserve that. But I couldn’t just stand by and watch you burn yourself to ash trying to survive in this gods-forsaken world. You’ve got something inside you, something bigger than revenge, bigger than all this pain. You just don’t see it yet. 

And you will. One day, when the smoke clears and the world isn’t quite as dark, you’ll understand why I did it. And maybe you’ll hate me a little less. 

So live, Genevieve. Live on your terms, not anyone else’s. And when you do, don’t look back. Not for me. Not for anyone. 

I’ll be with you, in whatever comes next. I just hope you’ll find a way to forgive yourself for not saving me, even if you can’t forgive me. You need to remember that you are nobody’s soldier, and know that I’m always beside you, for you are my greatest adversary and my best friend. 

Your sword and shield, Liam

----------------------------------

So, how are we feeling?

That's it for The Wounded Healer, The Drowned, and The Guilty! This will be a bit of a longer note because there's so much I want to say about this project and what it meant to me to write it.

This is my first writing project after what was a pretty hard breakup for me. I didn't write for the almost entire year I was talking with my ex, and then he cheated on me and I decided that I needed an escape. I read Fourth Wing to give me a quick break from reality, and between the breakup and reading Fourth Wing, Genevieve Hale was born.

I'm actually not a romantasy reader, nor am I a romantasy writer, I tend to sway towards classical literature and poetry, but I can appreciate a good book when there's a good book, even if I don't love the writing style or the main romance, so this was a huge step out of my comfort zone, but it was a lot of fun!

It's actually 3 months and 1 day that I'm completing this since starting it. I started writing it on August 15th, and then finished writing on October 27th, and finished publishing today, November 16th, which is pretty crazy. And I reached 100 followers literally yesterday on Tumblr, which is pretty crazy (at least to me--100 followers in three months???), so thank you all so much for being invested in my writing. I never imagined people would actually read this, and I'm so grateful for each and every one of you.

There's a lot of things in book 1 that I left unexplained that will be covered in book 2, we will go more into Genevieve's father, Genevieve's mother, Genevieve's signet, Genevieve's relationship with Xaden (and Violet post-Resson), and much more.

With that being said, now you understand the title of the book The Wounded Healer, The Drowned, and The Guilty. Genevieve is the wounded healer, a fitting title for someone who cannot physically heal someone without nearly killing herself, but it's also a title for her emotional state. Violet is the drowned, representative of the grief that will consume a lot of her actions in book 2, and a lot of the things that Liam hid from her, and Xaden is the guilty, a testament to the lies and deception he was taking part in when hiding details from Genevieve. I already released the title for book 2, so it should give you some insight into what will go down in the second book, but I'm excited to hear your theories (if you have any).

What do you think will happen between Xaden and Genevieve, Genevieve and Violet, Genevieve and (eventually) Catriona and the gryphon fliers? How will Genevieve cope with the loss of Liam? What developments will Genevieve's signet and her understanding of it go through? Let me know!

Anyways, that is it for now! I'll be back in a little bit (probably around 2-3 weeks) with chapter 1 of The Tragic Hero, The Betrayed, and The Haunted, but between now and then there will be some bonus content (incorrect quotes, one shots--x reader and x genevieve, etc) posted here and there. That will only be on Tumblr for my Ao3 readers, so find me at nomie-11 if you are interested!

As always, if you enjoyed, leave a like, comment, or kudo, and I'll see you all soon with book 2!

-------

Taglist: @awkardnerd , @hannraumari , @minjix , @glaciuswduo , @wolfbc97 , @heeseungthel0ml

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Four

Jasper Hale x Reader

Series summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Almost-car accident? Talk of getting smushed by a car.

Notes: Finally, a little something-something! I’m trying to post on the weekends to have some sort of schedule, but I have zero impulse control… so here it is a day early!

Word Count: 2146

Series Masterlist

• January 25th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Jasper

Not only am I lucky enough to spend lunch with Y/n, but some godly force must be watching out for me in that today’s history assignment allowed me to team up with her and learn more about her.

Her energy is absolutely fascinating and it almost worries me that I’m internally compelled to want to spend even more time in her presence. Two days and I’m already a goner, Emmett is going to have a field day interrogating me tonight.

Which leads me to now, after completing our history assignment with only a few minutes to spare, I’m escorting her to her car in an effort to prolong this addiction to her attention.

“Where are you from?” I ask, curious to know anything about her.

“Texas. Well, Dallas more specifically.” She’s still watching the ground as we walk, nervousness pouring from her.

“Why Forks? You couldn’t of picked a more completely opposite environment.” I miss my home state, and if it weren’t for my adversion to the sun - I would return.

“My parents divorced.” She continues before I could apologize for the intrusive question, “Happily divorced and I protested the whole ‘stay together until she graduates’ bullshit.” Fingers gesturing around the air quotations.

She trails off after that, circling back to our history assignment that no doubt has her still worked up. The Civil War, I cringe internally at today's topic since it’s a sore one for myself - having lived through it and fought in it.

“All I’m saying is, maybe history class should be more focused on the lessons learned, than just the events themselves.” She states rather passionately while inserting the key into the lock on the driver’s door of her car.

“To recognize and avoid in the future.” I respond, leaning my back against the rear of the small vehicle as I scan the wet parking lot packed with kids.

“Exactly!” She pops her head up, an excited smile in place as she garners my gaze again.

But just over her shoulder my eyes flick up to catch the sight of a blue van headed our direction a little too quickly for such a busy spot. A car horn blaring has her turning in its direction and the gasp I hear across the parking lot from Alice sends me into action. I grab Y/n by the waist and spin her against her car, so that my back might take the brunt of the hit, but it never comes as the rear of the van just barely slides past us. I relax the grip I have on her and tear my eyes from hers as I spin my head in the direction of the vehicle, ready to yell at the driver for being so reckless. The words die in my throat as I see where it’s headed - straight for Isabella Swan.

“Bella!” Y/n screams, but it’s lost in the screech of tires and the headphones in her ears that are keeping the outside world out.

Just as I’m about to damn us all to save another girl from this idiot driver, Edward flashes past to stop the van from crushing the Sheriff’s daughter.

“Fuck.” I whisper, glancing back to where my other adopted siblings are standing next to their own vehicles - faces unreadable, but emotions blaring alarm.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. Please be safe getting home?” I ask her urgently as I peel my fingers from where they want to stay gripping her, safe and close to me.

“But Jas-“ she starts, a little shell shocked at my quick action of saving her and the close call with her friend.

A whistle from Emmett interrupts her before she can interrogate me, so I flash her an apologetic smile before jogging at a normal human pace to the familiar silver Jeep. My hands flex in my lap the entire tense ride home, warm and tingly from when I gripped Y/n to protect her fragile little human body.

If we weren’t vampires already, this family meeting about to take place would definitely give Carlisle a full head of gray hair.

• January 26th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Reader

“Hey, mind catching me up on what that was yesterday?” I immediately bombard Jasper as I sit across from him at what I’ve mentally deemed ‘our table’ at lunch.

He glances up from his sketchbook with a look that says he wasn’t prepared for my blunt line of questioning.

“The saving you from certain death part, or?” He leaves open ended for me to clarify.

“The part where Bella was alone next to her truck, but your brother teleported to her side AND somehow the van skidded to a stop right before turning them both into pancakes?” I’m not pulling my punches with my queries, after having spent last night stewing over what I had seen.

“He wasn’t that far from her when I moved you out of the way, I must’ve distracted you enough that you didn’t see him walking to her after he got out of class. Plus, the van wasn’t going that fast, maybe when it hit the back of her truck the tires got traction and he could brake properly.” He answers, turning his gaze back to his sketch and resuming his work.

I don’t really buy it, but I mull over my recount of yesterday afternoon as I pull my lunch from my bag. Was I so focused on Jasper the moment he put his hands on me? Was I so soda-strawed in on Bella being in the way of the van that I missed Edward?

No, something isn’t adding up. I know that van was hauling ass in the parking lot, I was going to yell as much at the idiot driving before I saw it headed for Bella. But I can also tell I won’t be getting the answers I want from Jasper. I can tell from the rigidity of his spine that he’s worried I’ll ask more questions. I mean, his recount of the accident isn’t out-landish, but I know what I saw!

I need to talk to Bella.

“Yeah I guess that makes sense.” I acquiesce. I see him deflate a little with relief as I pick at my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Thank you for saving me, by the way.” I add nervously, a little heat working it’s way onto my cheeks.

Jasper glances up to my face and with a small smile, “Anytime Y/l/n, anytime.”

• January 27th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Reader

“Bella!” I yell down the hallway, catching her as she slams her locker shut. I jog over to her as she turns towards the exit, everyone that has Mr. Banner for Biology is going on a field trip today.

“Hey Y/n, what’s up?” She questions, seeing the look on my face.

“Tuesday, parking lot, what the hell happened?” I jump right into it.

“Tyler must’ve lost traction-“

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. Edward was nowhere near you.” Cutting off her redirection. “Jasper won’t budge, he insists I was distracted and didn’t see his brother before the accident.”

Bella glances around the hallway and decides to pull me into the empty female bathroom for some privacy.

“Edward is avoiding me, I was asking him the same questions when I was at the hospital and he refused to answer.” She answers nervously.

“It’s weird, right? I mean, one second I’m unlocking the door to my car, and the next Jasper spins me around to protect my body with his. And then I see Edward jump over the tailgate of your truck when I thought Tyler’s van was going to end you.” I’m just rambling the thoughts that have been pinging around the last two days.

I can see her hesitate, “You can talk to me, you know? I kinda don’t have any friends besides you, I mean - if you want to be friends?” I tack on the last part, worried I’d over stepped.

“Yeah no, of course - I um, I could use a friend to vent to.” Bella glances down at her shoes, picking at the sleeves of her sweater as the both of us exit the bathroom. “He’s coming on today’s class trip, I’ll talk to him then and see what I can find out.”

“Perfect, want to sit with me on the bus?” I ask, walking out of the building for the student parking lot where the buses are waiting.

“As if I’d risk getting stuck sitting with Mike Newton, absolutely.” She jokes back. “I’m going to grab my book from my truck, I’ll be there in a sec - save us a seat!” She yells as she jogs to her vehicle across the parking lot.

As I board the first bus I can hear Mr Banner yell at everyone loitering in the parking lot, “Yo yo yo, hey guys c’mon! We gotta go, we gotta go! Green is what? Good, let’s go!”

A few moments later Bella joins me in our claimed seat, book in hand looking a little frazzled. I see Mike pass us with a forlorn expression on his face, “Oh God, what happened?” I ask.

“He asked me to prom and I told him to ask Jessica, please don’t make me talk about it.” She answers with what I assume is a shiver of discomfort.

I want to laugh, but I just grin instead. “Your not-so-secret admirer fumble is safe with me, Bells.” I knock my shoulder into hers to tease her a little as I crack open my own book I brought for the bus ride.

• Community College Greenhouse •

Reader

Walking alone in line through the greenhouse, my hands drift over the different sprouting vegetables. Behind me I can hear Mr. Banner giving a spiel on “compost tea” and how its derived from table scraps and other organic waste. Every now and then my fingers float over the soft petals of flowers placed sporadically through the hundreds of food-producing plants; earlier it was explained that they encourage pollinators to visit.

Even though I’m a smidge lonely since Bella is hanging back with Edward, I’m glad to be surrounded by greenery instead of stuck in a stuffy classroom.

Just as Tyler Crowley pushes past with a clear mug of what looks like poop/dirt water, I spot Alice just ahead standing to the side of the isle with Jasper to allow students to flow by. When I get within arms reach, Alice loops her elbow through mine, almost like she could sense my loneliness.

“So,” she drags out the word cheerfully, “Enjoying the plants? Fresh air? Freedom from school?”

“Oh absolutely,” I glance over my shoulder at Jasper following behind us silently. “I’m surprised you’re not off in a corner doodling flowers, Hale.” I catch him duck his head and chuckle under his breath as Alice watches our interaction, surprised.

“And isolate myself away from your commentary? Never, Y/l/n.”

“Oh, Emmett’s opinions on your drawings are too much, but mine aren’t?” I smile as I turn to look at new plants as we pass them in our slow walk through the final greenhouse.

“My brother isn’t nearly as interesting.” His response catches me off guard and if it weren’t for Alice’s grip on my arm I would’ve stumbled on the wet concrete.

“As I live and breathe, Jasper Hale flirting-“ but Alice doesn’t finish her sentence due to Jasper snaking out a pinch to her ribs, her flinch forcing our hold to separate. Before I could chide Alice for teasing her brother for just being nice, Edward storms up to the three of us.

“Ready to leave?” He glances between his siblings, pointedly ignoring me so that I wouldn’t feel the obligation to join them.

“Edward-“ Alice says disapprovingly, but he pushes past us without waiting for an answer. She looks at me apologetically before skipping after him.

“Sorry about my brother, he’s insufferable when he’s in a mood.” Jasper offers as explanation as we watch the two of them exit the greenhouse.

“I get the feeling he’s always in a ‘mood’.” My fingers emphasize the last word with air quotations and it draws another chuckle from the gorgeous boy at my side.

“Touché.” He says with a grin. “I better catch up before they ditch me, see ya around darlin’.” He weaves his way through the crowded isle and out of sight before the heat settles in my cheeks.

I manage to file outside and towards the buses with the rest of my class after I gather my wits. I spot Bella already in our shared bus seat with a sad expression. “Wanna talk about it?” I ask as I sit.

“Not right now.” She answers, turning to look out of the window.

Next

[bossmarizze]

𝗦𝘆𝗺𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗹𝘀: 𝗥𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱

(Part 2 of 3)

Lan Wangji was still playing his guquin when he heard his bedroom door being opened. He looked up and saw a man dressed in black entering the room. The man automatically smiled at him while walking towards where he was sitting.

Lan Wangji smiled back and immediately stopped playing his instrument. It was Wei Wuxian; his Wei Ying who has returned after 16 years. The man he has been waiting to come back to him for so many years.

“I thought you’re already sleeping, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said while he sat in front of him, gently touching the strings of the guquin.

“How can I sleep without you by my side?” Lan Wangji replied, looking straight into Wei Wuxian’s eyes. Wei Wuxian stared back.

“You miss me, don’t you?” Wei Wuxian asked seriously.

“I miss Wei Ying so much. But you don’t feel the same way.”

“It’s not that I don’t, Lan Zhan. I was in limbo. I still don’t even know where I’ve been for 16 years. The last thing I remembered was falling from that cliff---”

“Please stop. Don’t ever remind me about that. Please,” Lan Zhan said with his eyes closed.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t mention it again. But for what it’s worth when I saw you at Mo’s residence, that was when I realized I missed you too. I wanted to run towards you but I held myself.”

“Why, Wei Ying? You should have shown yourself to me.”

“I’m not sure if you would recognize me, Lan Zhan.”

“You know I will.”

“I’m also not sure if you wanted to see me again.”

“How could you even say that? I have waited all these years for you to come back to me, Wei Ying---”

“I know, I know. And I’m sorry. But I’m here now. I won’t go away again, I promise.”

“Mark your words.”

“I’m marking it, I swear.”

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian stared at each other for too long, allowing the needed silence and tranquillity to envelope them. The stillness inside their room even made them think of their past episodes and old memories, both good and bad.

Without any hesitations, Wei Ying held Lan Wangji’s hand. “Thank you, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji remained silent but his eyes were inquiring Wei Ying’s.

“For sticking with me even though you knew it will earn you the most severe punishment from your clan. Thank you for giving A-Yuan a second chance in life. And most importantly, thank you for not giving up on me. I am so grateful to you, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said while a tear dropped from his eye.

Lan Zhan smiled weakly while he gently wiped away the tear from Wei Wuxian’s cheek. “The only thing I regret the most is not being able to save you that night. I am deeply sorry, Wei Ying.”

“It was never your fault, Lan Zhan. Don’t say that, please.”

“But from now on, I will do anything and everything to protect you and A-yuan. I am marking my words.”

“I will do the same for you and A-yuan,” Wei Ying said while clasping Lan Wangji’s hand.

“And did you have a good talk with our son?”

“Oh yes, although he couldn’t contain his tears while we were talking. Goodness, he bawls like a baby!”

“Oh let’s give him that. He misses you too. Days after I saved him from the Burial Mounds, he was still looking for his dada Wuxian. But months after that, he got a fever and became delirious for weeks. When he finally woke up, he suddenly couldn’t remember anything.”

“That’s very unfortunate.”

“It broke my heart when he doesn’t remember his dada Wuxian anymore.”

“But he had his memory back and that’s what’s important. That guy was holding on to my leg while we were talking, I had a hard time walking out of his room.”

“Mmnn, that's our little A-yuan,” Lan Wangji nodded.

-----

It was past eleven in the evening when both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian went to bed. They knew they broke another rule inside Cloud Recesses but they couldn’t care less.

“You’re becoming a bad example now, Lan Zhan. You keep breaking your rules ever since I came here at Cloud Recesses,” Wei Ying teased.

“I’ll forget about the rules for the meantime. Now that you’re here, I’ll take heed to what my heart desires,” Lan Wangji answered almost in a whisper.

“Lan Zhan, I’m not gonna let them give you another punishment. I’ll behave under this roof. I promise,” Wei Ying said, shivering from the thought of Lan Wangji being beaten because of him.

“Are you cold, Wei Ying? Come here, I’ll hold you close.”

“Hug me tight, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispered while caressing Lan Wangji’s scars.

“Go to sleep, Wei Ying, and don’t worry about it anymore. Just think of those scars as proof of how much I love you and A-yuan,” Lan Wangji said while planting a kiss on Wei Ying’s forehead.

“We love you too, fuddy duddy…” Wei Wuxian replied as he tangled his fingers in Lan Wangji's hair.

(Artist: ©狐狸大王a)

[deandoesthingstome]

a waiting place

A/N: In honor of @sillyrabbit81 and her milestone event. Congrats friend! I don't know if this is cheating but I took two screenshots, sent one and kept one for myself. I thought it would take me days, but I sat down and this feeling just poured from me.

Her event masterlist is here.

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x Reader (my first time with writing him, please be gentle)

Prompt: Slow & Romantic // Geralt // Mirror Sex

Summary: You have finally found a place of your own

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: there is sex in this story so NSFW, 18+, MINORS DNI

It was rumored to have been made with magic, but when you finally stumbled across the mirror tucked deep in the recesses of the farmhouse abandoned in Ebbing after the start of the Northern War, it was draped in a dusty cloth and looked anything but.

Still, the vibrations were calling, remnants of your ancestors, whose mastery of craft had placed the various pieces of skillfully forged metal and intricately carved wood together around the silver-backed glass. When you touched it, a warmth spread from your fingertips to your toes, and you knew you were home.

Exactly what kind of home had yet to be determined, since your skills were still newfound and you’d yet to master any sort of transformative spells. Backbreaking hard work was all you were able to put into it, but the efforts were worth it once you were able to lay down in a bed of your own making, the mirror standing in a newly prominent place of honor against the wall across the room.

In the morning, you readied a hot bath, filled with nourishing herbs and healing tinctures, and placed a tray of fresh bread flanked by cured meats and cheeses on the small table beside the wooden tub along with a bowl of warm stew and pitcher of ale. 

And exactly three years after your initial meeting, you called out to him, desire coursing through your veins and energy pulsing in your reflection, clearly bound with the mastery of your ancients.

“I am here. I made it. I need you.” You repeated the words in thoughts through the spells you chanted so that when he arrived, he would know why. Pulling someone through space and time was never easy, on them or you. But the yearning was too great, fueling the need to feel his skin against yours, his breath in your ear. 

You helped him out of his clothes and into the water and waited for him to invite you in next, knowing full well the need he’d feel when he’d recovered from the journey. He held your arm and wouldn’t let go, even as his grunts and groans indicated his agitated and depleted state. So you sat next to him as long as you could before it became apparent you’d need to replenish the hot water in the bath soon. 

He reached for you once the steam was rising from the tub once again. You dropped your sleep shift to the ground and let him guide you into the water with him. “The floor will dry”, you told yourself. “This moment may never come again.”

His gaze was tender and grateful and you smiled back at him, pleased at his reaction to being called here.

“Were you finished?” you asked. “Did I time it right?”

“Just,” he grunted.

“I’ve missed you. So very much.”

“I’m glad you survived your trial. Is this where you’ll stay from now on?”

“Need to know where to find me?” you smirked.

“And when. Yes.”

“I imagine there’ll come a time when I’ll need to go back. I can only learn so much more from books; I’ll need another mentor soon.”

“But for now?” he trailed off with a quirked brow.

“For now you find me here.”

With the water cooled and your bodies’ heat risen, Geralt stood with your legs wrapped around his waist, lips still locked against yours, a hand cradling your ass while the other pressed against your back to keep you tight to his chest. He stepped with ease out of the tub and to the bed, where he laid you down and peeled your limbs from him.

“I want to see you.”

“You’ve seen me. We’ve been in that water together for ages. Please,” you reached for him, but he stood still, head cocked to the side regarding your naked form. You watched him breathe in deeply and sigh the air out as he closed his eyes in contemplation. When he opened them again, you could swear you saw sparks as he acquiesced to your desire.

He crawled over your naked body, drops of water from his long silvery hair landing to cool the fire on your skin. But that flame for him would never douse, not in a million years. And while he had given in to your need to touch him and hold him in bed immediately, he wanted to take you apart slowly.

“Is that it?” he asked, head turned toward the mirror where he could make out his image poured over you, your leg draped over his thigh.

“Yes. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

He pulled back, taking you with him as he shifted to his knees and deftly turned you away from him, facing the mirror.

“What it reflects, certainly.” His voice was low in your ear as you watched the backs of his fingers caress your arms and down your sides. You knew his cat eyes could see more details in that image across the room than you ever could, but he did a good job of putting on a whole show of movement you could see as well as feel, placing kisses along your shoulder as a hand returned to cup your heaving chest. He slid his other hand forward around your waist and down over your belly, reaching for the heat between your thighs. Your eyes closed involuntarily when his fingers found their way inside you.

“Please watch. I want to see all of you, especially your eyes, while you come undone for me,” he whispered in your ear.

You wanted to feel all of him inside you immediately; you were practically bursting with the heat of your need for him but since you knew that would never wane, you gave in and watched the mirror while he slowly and methodically stroked you to orgasm. 

You felt yourself floating back to the bed and watched him peer down at you again while he took himself in hand and lined up at your entrance. He let out a long, low groan as he lowered himself to pulse into you slowly. 

“Fuck, you feel good.”

“I’ve missed this too, Geralt. I wish it would never end.”

“I’m going to make this last, alright?” he asked, head pulled back to gauge your interest.

You nodded and smiled, pleased he felt up to a long night after such a journey. You’d absolutely have to place a mark next to the entry in your spell book you’d used to prepare the bath, as the concoction had clearly done its job.

He didn’t lie. For hours, he teased and tortured you with his cock, grinding you deep and slow into the mattress while he caressed your mouth with his. His tongue tangled against yours, leaving only to trace lines of lust along your neck or chest. Sometimes, he’d roll you over him and urge you to take one of your many releases while riding him upright, his hands firm around your waist. 

You lost count of how many ways he brought you pleasure before he finally pulled you to hands and knees in front of him, once again facing the mirror. Once he was fully sheathed inside you, he gently lifted your torso against him, hand gripping lightly at your neck.

“I want you to watch again. Let the source of your true power soak up every bit of ours together,” his voice rumbled in your ear and vibrated against your back. When you nodded, he pressed you back down, chest all the way to the bed while he gripped your hips tight and rocked into you.

Even now, in this position usually reserved for wild abandon, Geralt made love to you. His movement was calculated, his strokes long and deliberate. His eyes sought yours in the reflection, though it was hard to tear your view away from where his hips disappeared behind your ass.

“Will you come with me one last time?” he begged, completely out of character and for a moment, you felt a sadness you hadn’t expected. Surely he wouldn’t let this be the last time you found each other across this vast lifetime?

“If you promise to come back,” you answered, as if you could ever hold back your release once he began to pump in earnest.

“When I can, yes.” 

With that most useless of promises secured, you smiled and nodded again. “Come for me, Geralt.”

It only took a few more strokes before he came with a growl, and you were lost in a blinding explosion of lights. Collapsed next to one another, you steadied your heart rate and burrowed into him as he curled himself around you. His sustained heat would never allow you to sleep long like this, but you sighed with content anyway. 

You had a home to call your own, and Geralt was willing to follow you here when he could, and that was all you cared about for now.

Taglist: Everything Henry - Please don't hesitate to let me know if you want on or off, though remember sometimes Tumblr won't let me tag you.

@kittenofdoomage @mayloma @fvckinghenrycavill @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @sweetdreamsofgelato @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @kebabgirl67 @beck07990  @itsrubberbisquit @feelmyroarrrr @dedicated-to-mr-cavill @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume @angelmather1  @lizzystuffsthings @enchantedbytomandhenry  @omgkatinka @littlefreya @avengersfan25

[luckykiwiii101]

Hello,

I’ve been in this community for a while already, maybe since 2021 but I haven’t really been keeping count. My journey has mostly been a mixture of being desperate and uncommitted. There would be times where I would put in a lot of effort for 1-2 days but honestly would just burn myself out because I would let doubts rule me. So many times I’ve said I’m going to enter and log off tumblr to do it, but I kept logging back in and looking for more information or letting drama that’s always going on in this community affect me. For a whole month I actually managed to stay off void and loa tumblr by creating another account and strictly using that for fics I read. I didn’t really persist because I kept putting it off and I don’t even know why. I logged back on and realized I don’t find myself wanting to continue the same loop that I see a lot of people still chasing. Stepping back, I really see how useless and self sabotaging it is and I know most people are aware of this too but don’t want to break the habit by letting this desperation go.

There’s always going to be the feeling that you’re missing something or that there’s something better for you to try as a method if you keep holding on to the desperation. This loop is dangerous because it’s so easy to fall into and it gets comfortable. People get distracted by new things to try or by drama that’s always circulating. These things can seem exciting and curious but they really don’t matter. We’re not here to feed into tumblr drama, to learn all about it, find out who’s lying/telling the truth, to accuse others, etc. Most of us are going to be gone as soon as we enter void. Who cares about keeping up with the latest void methods and tumblr drama when you’re not even going to think back on it after you succeed. You already know everything you need to know. Don’t make this your “comfortable zone”. People get used to this familiarity of trying, wishing and hoping together, and following the latest news and trends that they get comfortable like this.

I don’t know how to word this but I’ve also seen people romanticize their struggles together. Community is so great and a place to relate to others, but lots of people make it a group effort to struggle. Reaching void state isn’t a group effort. You don’t need to ask others to manifest for you and you don’t need to wait for others to try something out to see if it works. You also don’t need validation from others and expect them to dissect what you did wrong. Someone else’s journey or attempts doesn’t correlate to yours so don’t let it decide yours (unless you know it helps you). You shouldn’t feel discouraged by someone else’s attempts because it’s not yours.

Community is so helpful, but individuality is the key. You need to do this for yourself and by yourself at the end of the day. I know it can be hard but really it’s all up to you and it’s so worth it. People can help you through advice and you can relate to people, but you need to be the one making the choices and putting in the effort to persist.

I saw someone on your page say they are going to log off and persist and (I think) come back with their success. They’re so right and I’m honestly going to do the same. I tried staying off void tumblr for a whole month and it wasn’t too hard. It allowed me to really reflect on myself, which I encourage people who can relate to this post, do. I read your tough love post about how some people will never get their dream life because of a lack of persistence/backbone and their mindset. This post really hit me because it represented my views on void tumblr and my previous struggle with the void state. I really don’t want to be this person anymore so I won’t be. I will succeed this time because there really is no other option. I’ve honestly had enough and I’ve already wasted enough time. These are just my thoughts and I encourage people to get off void/loa tumblr and just persist. You don’t need an epiphany to hit you to finally enter void state. But if you do, take the Not so Sugar and Spice post (I believe that’s what it’s called) as one.

Sorry for over sharing and the long post, but I really wanted to get this off my chest and I wanted to let people know that no matter how much you’ve struggled with the void and mindset in the past, kind of like me, you can still make the choice to persist and break habits that don’t benefit you.

I want to say thank you for your post for the inspiration and goodbye for now 💞

I’m SO SO proud of you 💗💗💗

And yes I too recommend that post to people who are mindlessly roaming void and loa tumblr looking for methods to enter the void state because that isn’t going to get them anywhere.

[kindlingkeen]

Yo as the resident Jason Todd fan, maybe you can answer this for me because I haven’t been able to find the answer anywhere else.

At some point in RHATO, Jason gives up his most cherished memory. The one where he’s sick & Bruce stayed home with him.

He was offered it back, and told them to keep it. He refused the offer. I’ve heard that the memory gets mentioned again later but I don’t know if he ever actually really takes it back.

Do you know if he ever gets it back? It’s both sad and not if he doesn’t, because on one hand he’s losing a good memory, but on the other I think it helps cut him off from Batman. Which really might be good for him (looks at all the other comic issues w how Bruce has treated Jason)

Hey, anon. Thanks for the ask! 💙

I’m by no means an expert on the comics, but I did have a bit of a comic-buying hissy fit a bunch of months ago trying to answer this exact question for myself. Here’s what I concluded (complete with pretty pictures because I’m a firm believer in citing your sources):

So in the new 52 rhato #3 (written by Scott Lobdell), Jay, Roy and Kori each give up their most cherished memory to gain entrance to the Chamber of All. The memories are held by Sa’ru (an all powerful being is also apparently a bratty child?).

Sa’ru gives Roy and Kori their memories back when they exit the chamber, but Jay refuses his.

Skip forward a bunch of issues to rhato #19 and Jason actually has Sa’ru take all his memories after a thing with the Joker (that’s a whole different blog post) and he ends up with complete amnesia. The series is being written by James Tynion at this point, not Scott Lobdell.

But Jason eventually gets all of his memories back in rhato #26.

I think you can make a reasonable argument that Tynion intended this to include his most cherished memory, as Jason talks about remembering his finest moments, his lowest moments, etc. Note, the series is still being written by Tynion.

But now skip way way ahead to rhato rebirth #34, and we get this exchange. 

So, no, I guess he didn’t get it back? Note, that the series is back to being written by Lobdell at this point.

Honestly, I think this is just another stellar example of dc saying, continuity, consistency? What are these strange and foreign concepts? And thus authors doing whatever they want, to hell with any prior storylines. Tynion was clearing going for an arc where Jason reclaimed his memories. Lobdell had a different idea in mind.

I don’t know that it really matters either way. I mean it’s one memory, right? So even if it’s gone, Jason’s second most cherished memory just moves up into spot numero uno. Based on how much Bruce clearly meant to Jason, and that Bruce was actually a good Dad in most of the comics featuring Robin!Jason, I’m guessing that that memory is of the two of them together, too.

I’d say go with whatever makes you happy and fits your own head canons for Jason. I hate the whole storyline and pretend it doesn’t exist while I stick my tongue out at dc and tell them liberally to fuck right off.

Hopefully that was helpful/informative, or at least worth a merit badge toward my resident Jason Todd fan status (I’m expecting my vest in the mail any day now).

[jaysbraindump]

Dead Boy Detectives characters as Sleeping At Last songs: a very long post

Edwin – Nine

Who am I to say what any of this means I have been sleepwalking Since I was fourteen Now as I write my song I retrace my steps Honestly, it’s easier To let myself forget Still, I check my vital signs Choked up, I realize I’ve been less than half myself For more than half my life

Wake up Fall in love again Wage war on gravity There’s so much worth fighting for you’ll see Another domino falls Either way It looks like empathy To understand all sides But I’m just trying to find myself Through someone else’s eyes So show me what to do To restart this heart of mine How do I forgive myself For losing so much time?

Charles – Eight

I wanna break these bones 'til they're better I wanna break them right and feel alive You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong My healing needed more than time When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things I see the familiar I was little, I was weak, I was perfect too Now I'm a broken mirror But I can't let you see all that I have to lose All I've lost in the fight to protect it I can't let you in, I swore never again I can't afford to let myself be blindsided I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart And all I want is to trust you Show me how to lay my sword down For long enough to let you through

Here I am, pry me open What do you wanna know? I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut And bury my innocence But here's a map, here's a shovel Here's my Achilles' heel I'm all in, palms out, I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough To let you in

Crystal – Smell

Is this the part where the brain scan shows where memories reside? Some ambiguous shape in me, suddenly producing light Triggered like a trip wire every time I breathe it in Isn't it strange that a lilac tree is what unlocks where I've been? Like a time machine rebuilds the past My memories return Like remembering the ashes before they burn It is the friction that lights a match Desperate attempts that make it last So I hold my breath for as long as I can But before long, the wind swells in I started a fight I could never win But I will hold on as long as I can

Niko – Some Kind of Heaven

I'm having trouble sleeping Keep thinking my phone's ringing I wake in a panic, what's wrong now? Nervous system's acting up I'm worried it's forever messed up Now being awake feels unsafe Please, help me remember The voice of my mother Reminding me everything's okay

She deeply believed it

Just a little longer Everything will make sensе Broken things will be remadе But what about the meantime? How do I ignore the signs That one day, everything I love will fade?

Monty – Wave After Wave

Wave after wave, I'm more afraid It's been a hard year, it's been a high tide I can make it make sense, but my body decides I keep telling myself again and again It's been a hard year, healing takes time Routine test results, I'm probably fine I know better I know better But it doesn't really matter My body decides One part at a time I am the sail, the plank The mast that breaks and gets replaced I am remade, repaired, reshaped But somehow still the same Even after every cell in my body changed I know my name

Jenny – Homesick

You spend your whole life Just to remember the sound When the world was brighter Before we learned to dim it down Call it survival Call it the freedom of wills; Where breath is borrowed Our compass needle stands still Our resignation only comes on beaten paths

When the world was flat We dreamt of its edges… If love’s elastic, then were we born to test its reach? Is it buried treasure Or just a single puzzle piece

The Cat King – To Be Enchanted

I see longing in its eyes I can't quite put my finger on it There's just something about its face That makes me sad It's as much afraid as it's haunted I've never related more To anything or anyone before I can't explain it Politely, I asked, "Are you real?" It said, "Here, let me prove it" It placed its hand in my hand And neither one of us could feel it "Don't kill the messenger", it begged "You're alive, quit acting like you're dead" Like a mirror, it spoke so clear "Don't you recognize the reason why you're here?"

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

WIP Wednesday

tagged by @forthewolves @shitouttabuck @jeeyuns @rewritetheending @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela @try-set-me-on-fire @wh0re-behavi0r @jesuisici33 @sibylsleaves @eowon

thank you beloveds! <3

been focusing mostly on the calls fic and desperately trying to claw myself out of the scene set during the lightning strike so have some of that

Eddie wraps an arm around his knees, tugging them closer to his chest. Something about being curled up like this makes him feel better, giving him the illusion of being able to protect himself and all of the mess he carries inside.

His hand falls across his knee, right where there is the tiniest hole in the fabric, an seemingly inconsequential and unnoticeable tear where the threads are worn and tired. He brushes his fingers across it, shivering when he doesn’t feel anything, so numb from the weight of three day old rain and unending terror and three minutes and seventeen seconds worth of death, both his and Buck’s.

“I don’t really know what I’m doing,” he says mournfully while picking at the tear in his jeans. “I just–I want to talk to you. I want to say so many things but I don’t know the words and the one person that I can go to who can help me figure it all out is you. And you’re–you’re not here. Not really.”

The words taste like a lie.

Eddie picks and picks at the tear until he can fit his finger through, hooking it around the material roughly. He thinks about Chris asking if Buck could hear him. He thinks about being unable to answer because he truly had no idea and couldn’t offer his son something that wasn’t undeniably true. He thinks about wanting Buck to hear every word Chris says. He thinks about being unable to believe they can reach Buck now.

Tears sting and pluck at his eyes, demanding to be felt and released. He lets a few fall, more tracks across his face to add to the collection. He turns his face toward the phone in his hand, allowing himself to imagine that it’s not glass and metal but Buck’s warm, soft palm.

“I want you to talk to me,” Eddie whispers like a confession. “I want you to talk to me even though I can’t bear to go in that room and talk to you. I should be able to. Chris did. He’s so brave, Buck. I know he is scared and hurting, but he was able to stand next to you and look at you and touch you and tell you to come back. And I–” can’t, I can’t, I’m not good enough, I want to tell you everything, I don’t want to tell you anything at all because if I keep it then that means there will be another chance for me to tell you.

tagging @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @lemonzestywrites @anxieteandbiscuits @diazass @bucks118 @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @butchdiaz @911onabc @arthursdent @bekkachaos @messyhairdiaz @gayedmundodiaz @folk-fae @giddyupbuck @hippolotamus @shortsighted-owl @spotsandsocks @bvckandeddie @fiona-fififi @devirnis @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @buddierights @rogerzsteven @prettyboybuckley @paranoidbean and anyone else who wants to do it!

[uramilf]

Day Four - Nightmare Before Christmas

A/N: sorry for the wait!! Hopefully it’s worth it! Please note, this gets a little suggestive towards the end to set up for smut in the next part ;)

“So, what are your plans for Christmas Day?” Matty yawned, rolling over to face Y/N in bed. He had been staying at her house ever since the night of her party, three days to be exact (with a brief run home to collect some clean clothes, as well as picking up Mayhem from his brother’s house. Matty had begged Louis to dog-sit purely for the possibility that Y/N would ask him to stay the night). “I don’t really have any, probably just gonna make a bit of dinner for myself and light the fire.” “You’re not going anywhere? Or having your family over?” “No, they live pretty far away. It’s just me this year,” Y/N smiled sadly. Mayhem, who had curled up on the end of the bed, managed to wriggle in between the couple and gently licked Y/N’s cheek as if he knew something was up, making them both laugh. But although he was laughing, Matty wasn’t happy. He wouldn’t be happy knowing that Y/N was all alone on Christmas Day. But he couldn’t cancel on his poor mum to stay in London. Unless … no, that’s stupid, he thought. Pressing a kiss to Y/N’s forehead, he got up and left her curled up with the dog to make her a cup of tea.

—————

Throughout the day, Matty couldn’t stop thinking about his girlfriend being all alone at Christmas. He couldn’t let her stay in her cold, empty house, missing her family while he spent time with his. It wasn’t until his mum called and inquired about his new girlfriend that he decided to bite the bullet and ask the question.

“Mum… I need to ask you something. Y/N’s family lives really far and she’s gonna be all alone for Christmas. Can I ask if she’d like to join us?” “Oh don’t be so silly darling, of course she’s going to join us! There’s no way I’m letting my daughter in law be by herself on Christmas!” Denise exclaimed. “Mum,” Matty groaned. “I asked her to be my girlfriend three days ago. Please, please, do not call yourself her mother in law before you’ve even met her.” “I can’t help it, Matthew! I’m so excited,” his mother scolded. “I’m sure she’s such a lovely girl. I’m just so happy for you.”

Matty chatted to his mum for another minute or two before hanging up and making his way into the kitchen where Y/N was preparing dinner with a glass of white wine. She poured him a glass of red as soon as she saw him and he smiled gratefully, grabbing her waist gently and pressing a kiss against her lips. “Dinner’s nearly ready,” she mumbled into the kiss. “You okay?” Matty breathed out slowly. Of course she would notice there was something up. “I’m okay, I just have something to ask you.” “Anything, love,” she smiled with a hint of worry in her eyes. “So… I know we haven’t been together very long at all. But I can’t bear the thought of you not having someone to spend Christmas with. And it’s equally bad to imagine spending it without you. Will you come spend it with my family?” He stared hopefully into her eyes, hands leaving her waist to clutch both her hands in his.

Y/N cracked a huge smile, pecking his lips gently. “I would love that, baby. Are you sure, though? I really don’t wanna impose on your mum or anything.” “I called her before I asked, and she couldn’t be happier.” “Really?” Y/N could have cried. She had never felt so welcomed into someone’s family without even meeting them. “Really,” Matty grinned and kissed her once more.

—————

Matty decided it was finally time for him and Mayhem to go home that night, despite Y/N begging him to stay another night. She had already gotten used to him being there, and she couldn’t sleep in her freezing bed, no Matty to hold her tight and no Mayhem to curl up at the foot of the bed (where there definitely wasn’t room for him). Another thing keeping her awake was the nerves grasping at her every time she closed her eyes. She couldn’t even begin to describe how stressed she was about meeting his family. Eventually, she thought ‘fuck it’ and picked up the phone.

Matty answered sleepily. “You okay, babe? It’s nearly three in the morning.” “I can’t sleep,” she whined. “I’m so stressed out about spending Christmas with your family. I know they’re great people, I’m just so nervous!” “Calm down, baby, its okay,” Matty soothed, wishing he had stayed the extra night, wishing he could comfort her. “If you had any reason to be nervous, I would freak out too. But I’m not. Because they’re all going to love you. I haven’t shut up about you since our first date.” Y/N smiled. “Thank you, Matty. I promise I’m excited to do Christmas together. I’m just scared they won’t like me.” “And I promise that they will. Especially Mum. She’s already told me you’re beautiful, so she’s obviously instagram stalking,” he sniggered. Y/N laughed too. “Sorry for waking you up.” “It’s ok, darling. Get some sleep now, okay?”

—————

Christmas was drawing nearer and nearer. Y/N wasn’t as stressed as she had been before her conversation with Matty, but she still had a lingering anxiousness in her stomach every time she thought about Christmas Day. There were all sorts of things she hadn’t considered. Should she be bringing food with her? She’d have to buy Matty’s mum a present, of course, to thank her for her hospitality. But what can you buy a woman you haven’t met?

She had dragged herself over to Matty’s house to watch a movie, and was curled up on his sofa with thoughts flying through her head at a million miles per hour while he was pouring drinks in the kitchen. When he returned, he could tell something was up. “Hey, are you still thinking about Christmas? I told you not to be nervous,” he said, sitting down beside her and placing a hand on her knee. “What can I do to make you less anxious, huh?” “Nothing, baby. I’m just being silly.” “Nothing?” Matty raised an eyebrow, hand travelling a little further up her leg. “Well, maybe there’s something,” Y/N giggled. Matty pulled her closer by her waist, leaving her in a fit of laughter. He pressed a few sweet kisses to her jaw before lowering his mouth to her ear and whispering.

“Tell me what you want me to do, baby.”

[spindle-girl]

Daybreak 1.7

Let's see how this not-quite Vikare moment works out

Nobody Kingdom Come had affected remembered much of anything.  It was as though they’d fallen asleep – they remembered losing awareness, some reported briefly coming to in the middle of things as the building had shook or they had been knocked around, and they hadn’t really processed or understood much of those glimmers.

well that's a nice preventative measure against being a low-tier Khepri in terms of trauma

I was painfully conscious of the sweat, grime and blood, yet I couldn’t bring myself to go wash up because that would require attention to it. Paradoxical, I was well aware.

heeeyyy. there's that classic wildbow protag acknowledgment of denial

“You know I can’t keep you on the staff,” he said.

i was going to mock this by saying that the prt did so well without having any parahumans on board, but then i remembered lol. having parahumans work with the non-parahumans publicly would be better, since i don't think the whole separate organizations would work even if it actually happened for once. trying to keep it hidden is obvi a bad idea, but so is a complete and total wall between the two

“Can-” I started.  I cleared my throat.  “Can I get back to you on that?  I’ve- I guess I’ve got a family thing I should go to.”

getting fired really must be getting to her if she's using family as an excuse to leave

With the path I’d taken, I reached the backyard first.  The driveway was wider than it was long, crushed gravel, with room for multiple vehicles, and a fence stretched from the house at one corner to the garage at the other.  My mom had invited neighbors, so it was a thing, even if things had reached a more relaxed point.

ok, so i know i already went through the worm epilogues which is why i don't have too much of an issue with ward continuing that, but having suburbs like this really is wild. so far it's been a giant school, which i get for the purpose of giving kids a roof for the day, shoddy apartments, which seems like a decent way to handle the amount of people they got, and general skyscrapers, which was a thing from Rachel's epilogue. i guess suburbs aren't that crazy compared to that, but it seems like such a waste i can't imagine people actually spending time building them. the skyscrapers could be a waste too, but depending on their purpose you could at least argue they can hold a lot of people

i dunno, this whole description followed up by Mark on the lawn chairs gave me whiplash that i haven't gotten so far

“You’re hurt,” she said, touching my arm, where the road rash was. “Scuffed up.” “Did you get the other guy?” she asked.  She reached out and touched my hair, fixing it by moving strands to one side.

the instant touching and fixing. uhg

“You’re fucking it up, mother,” I said.  “You’re fucking- you’re fucking- did dad play along with this?” “I told him everyone was coming.  You, your sister, Crystal, Uncle Mike.  He was surprised, but… pleasantly surprised.”

hey Danny, congrats on not tripping over the other guy. i still don't like you, but i fully understand why you get ranked above Mark now

“In the interest of putting my demons to rest,” I said.  “I’m going to keep my distance.  Don’t call, because I can’t trust a thing you say.  I’ll figure out what I’ll do about Dad later.” “Don’t,” she said.  “Nothing gets better if you close off communication.” There were things I wanted to say to that. It wasn’t worth it.

nah, fuck him and don't come back. oh fuck i just remembered she's staying with her dad. does she move in with Ashley this soon? please say yes, for both Victoria's sake and for the fun it would bring

I reached out toward the window, a foot away from touching it.  I turned on my forcefield. A pause. Then a handprint on the window, in the condensation.  Then another.

this is the scene that led to wildbow deciding on Victoria, right? hello Fragile, can't wait for your interlude

End notes:

Gilpatrick is at least kind to Victoria. still don't like his child militia, no matter how much he tries to thin the group, it's just the Wards 2.0 with all the suck that comes with it and i don't believe that two-year gun rule is going to last more than a month. good to give Victoria a space to stay though

Carol and Mark suck. i wonder when we'll see Amy proper for the first time

oh, yeah, Fume Hood. she's resting up at the hospital. tbh, even knowing she's going to be around for a while i didn't get the sense that this was a Vikare moment. shooting capes has always been seen as a possible strategy. not necessarily smart or very effective, but possible. Vikare's death always seemed more like a accident with people thinking he'd be fine no matter what. maybe it was everything else surrounding it? villain turning hero, divides between civilians and capes, that make it a situation on par with the end of the golden-age

[vellichorom]

Hello! I’m new to the Stanley Parable fandom (as in 3 days ago oop) and I’ve heard about the Narratorverse? I’m confused as to what that is. (Also, if you have any advice of people to follow in this fandom, I’m all ears!)

WELL WELL WELL! allow me to welcome you to the fandom & introduce you to it's most recent development ( as the technical hand in it's creation & persistence(?) )! may you enjoy it AND your stay here, there's PLENTY to consume & a little something for everyone, i think!

now, into the narratorverse;

TDLR; the Narratorverse is this idea that every Narrator / alternative TSP design exist in a multiverse & frequently mingle with each other in Tumblr & Discord events.

however, below is where I've compiled EVERY detail & piece of history to this monster in the fandom, so feel free to dive below & educate yourself thoroughly.

otherwise! i'm not really good at just Offering people to follow, as everybody brings something to the table & I hate to risk forgetting / neglecting one user over another, so I HAPPILY encourage other TSP artists to reblog this & promote themselves! ALSO! just dig through the tag long enough & you'll find TONS of amazing artists & creators to follow ( avoid rh/ad/ko like the plague ), I promise it's worth the treck!

Narratorverse Expansive Lore You Can Slap On a Wiki Below;

for the best experience, please read this to yourself in a generic " youtuber introduces & reviews niche topic " voice,

" the Narratorverse, " ALSO known as " the Paraverse " is an "AU" / fandom-wide concept in which every & all personal iteration of The Stanley Parable ( with a heavy focus on the designs of the Narrator ) from the fandom co-exist & mingle in a big, expansive multiverse.

if I'm not mistaken, this OFFICIALLY got started when the tumblr poll function started getting incorporated onto the site & @tsp-narrator-ask would grab up a handful of individual Narrator designs to feature in a " Sexiest Narrator " competition, where - of course, the fandom & any tumblr user alike could vote for their respective favorite design or whichever they found "sexiest" ( loosely ).

this whole competition inspired some participants of the competition ( including yours truly ) to make in-character commentary art, featuring their Narrator reacting to their BEING in the competition or otherwise campaigning for themselves not to lose / the aftermath of their losing; a lot of which would include their Narrator being thrown into some cruel & unusual punishment by the host of the competition. for le giggles. ( the latter linked post is the reason why MY narrator is referred to as Salad Boy, )

with the door open for it, this would spark some MORE drawn, in-character commentary, featuring contestants of the Sexyman Competition-- & even just anyone with a Narrator design who wanted to participate in the shenanigans, all gathered together like this competition & everything involved with it was this big party/event they were all called from their creators to get in on.

a lot of this commentary was featured in MASS REBLOGS, with everyone adding a little response to one's post; the main ones being THIS one, & the Unfathomably Popular Salad Thread, the latter of which, not to pat myself on the back for starting it, but I think REALLY popularized the concept of the " Narrator Multiverse, " & would lead things to escalate FAR beyond the initial Sexyman Competition.

NOW, there's an official Narratorverse / Paraverse roleplay / hangout server that features many ( if not everyone ) featured in these threads, there's other TSP servers that carry the lore & relationships from these events, & there's been a trend instilled of other, similar mass reblog threads that keep with the continuity of the last ones, but also branch out to expand on multiversal shenanigans with everyone allowed to participate.

-such as @blackkatdraws's Gluetrap Thread, the aftermath of THAT, this smaller " thread " featuring my arrator finding @tsp-narrator-ask's kid, & I think there might have even been a few started with the recently held Narratorverse Hunger Games that I just can't account for / didn't get to keep up with.

ALL OF THESE OBVIOUSLY tying into & ONLY adding onto the idea of this multiverse of Narrators & Stanley Parable alternatives alike & popularizing it into this own little delectable square of the fandom in which the community can really come together for some utmost silliness OR actual worldbuilding, given everyone in-character & out of character gets to reflect on every alternative interpretation of the game we're ALL here for.

& that's just about the full " history " of what this whole Narratorverse / Paraverse is! feel free to hop the bandwagon yourself!

who knows, your alternative interpretations could be what the fandom follow next!

[singguks]

city of hearts, ep. 1 ❤️‍🩹 taehyung

synopsis. having experienced a fateful romance by the beach, taehyung sets out on a quest through seoul's bustling streets to locate the woman who has stolen his heart.

pairing. taehyung x oc

genre. social media auㆍgamedesigner!tae ( angst. fluff. smut. )

word count. 5623

warnings. adulthood romance things cof cof implicit

a/n. i couldn't possibly start another au, but she said the word and so i did. happy birthday to my bestie, whom i'd love to see more often even though we talk every day ☆ thank you for being my person through and through ! this is my love letter to you, miss bubbles ♡

episodes. 01 ▸ 02 ▸ 03

▸ E1: True or False?

One day we got curious as to how men and women date in this city. To satisfy our curiosity, we discussed the beginning of a new project, that required us to follow the lives of several men and women in Seoul.

For it to be real, we won’t intervene in their lives. Only when we think it’s necessary, we will share their answers with others, or maybe edit them to make this entertaining—all the while keeping their original words. 

It’s worth telling that fifty individuals around Seoul were chosen for this project. Still, they will all be participating with nicknames to protect their privacy—as we usually do when it comes to the internet. They all had to promise to treat their phones as their friends, as well as the app we developed where we will be posting questions, and telling only the truth. 

But some answers and behaviors made us wonder if they indeed were telling us like it really is.

[ note that some of their answers will be through text, others, like this one, will be taken as voice notes. all voices undergo a modification due to privacy issues. ]

ılı.lıl taehyung: I’m the cool type… and uhm, gentle. Definitely not clingy. I’m cool. 

ılı.lıl deo: I keep true to myself when I date… and when I break up too. 

ılı.lıl kie: I’d say I fall in and out of love pretty fast. What can I say? I’m passionate. *chuckles* And if I have to break up, I just do it. I won’t dwell much. 

ılı.lıl yoongi: What’s even the point of getting laid? *tsk* It’s a hassle… 

ılı.lıl jin: I’m not one to play games. I don’t like that. I think overall I’m a pretty good guy. 

ılı.lıl harin: Before my current boyfriend, well, I think I dated around uhm… Four men? No, three…? Wait. Let me retake this just once! *laughs* 

So, whether the participants are telling the truth… well, we will let you be the judge of that. 

⫰

Sort by Oldest first ↓

boreo 🤔

bluengrey For me, it’s women I can have fun with.

boreo men that I can talk to?

⤷ callmerinie huh? talking isn’t everything

tangerimin A physical connection, people. 

supertuna Are you asking what I think you’re asking?

notmekeys why are you all acting so innocent? kkk

boreo oh- 

tangerimin Why can’t you all say it? It’s just whatever. Just say it. You know, like bang!

⤷ boreo i got it now. 

callmerinie 🤭

callmerinie and cut~!

boreo so if it’s about intimacy..

⤷ notmekeys i think i know just by the smell. you know, it’s all about pheromones

supertuna Doesn’t it depend on the man? At least I think so. 

⤷ callmerinie wow! really? you’re giving yourself too much credit. 😒

bluengrey Uhm.. Usually I take the lead if it’s about that. 

⤷ boreo uh-huh. do you really? 

⤷ bluengrey Ok. Fine. There was this one time that I followed the girl’s lead. 

⤷ bluengrey One time, okay? 

⤷ boreo doubt it

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Sort by Oldest first ↓

bluengrey Dating? I don’t think so

⤷ supertuna No. I think it is. 

boreo dating really changed my point of view about that

tangerimin If you guys are putting it that way, I’ve dated many women. I loved it every time. 

⤷ callmerinie aww… and what the girls had to say about this?

⤷ notmekeys about men? well, you know. they are all the same: trash. 

⤷ boreo not all… i mean. there’s someone i know that wasn’t 

Load more comments

Sort by Oldest first ↓

boreo yes. there is someone i can’t forget. 

bluengrey I do. 

Load more comments

[ note that this request was sent privately to users bluengrey and boreo and we edited the sequence of their answers according to our own motives and the following questioning. ]

ılı.lıl deo: It happened one year ago…

ılı.lıl taehyung: She was the only one I could see. Like I was just gravitating in her orbit… Like we were in a world of our own. I felt complete. 

ılı.lıl deo: I felt this spark every time I would catch him staring at me and then I simply couldn’t look away.

ılı.lıl taehyung: Back then I thought “Wah, this is what love feels like” *chuckles sadly*

ılı.lıl deo: I’ll always remember him. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: If that is really the case… I don’t think someone ends a relationship if they feel that way. 

ılı.lıl deo: It was my fault. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: You know, it was my fault… 

ılı.lıl taehyung: No… It’s true, she messed it up. 

ılı.lıl deo: I won’t make excuses.

ılı.lıl taehyung: I mean… Of all the people… Why me? Why did it have to be me?

ılı.lıl deo: Simply put, we met at a time when I needed someone like him. Thanks to him, I became who I am now... 

ılı.lıl taehyung: I wish I had never met her. *sighs* I was such a fool now that I think back. 

ılı.lıl deo: *smiles* Being around him.. his love was kind of magical...

⫰

august 10th, 2022 

Summer is at its peak and Taehyung has just arrived at Jeju airport. It has been a while since he last had some time to himself due to work, so to say he couldn’t wait for this much-deserving vacation is an understatement. 

He organized everything at the company before he took off for this get-away, from the ongoing projects ideas he had recently pitched in, to the files the design team would need the next fifteen days he was away. And if you know Taehyung, you also know being organized was never his forte. 

The game designer waits absentmindedly with his luggage by his foot, as he takes his beloved camera out of its case to finally point at the structure behind him. This airport isn’t the biggest one he had ever set foot on, he observes, but it is cozy enough and bustling with people everywhere to the point his fingers itch for the metal click of the equipment for a piece of nostalgia he held dear to his heart. 

Just around the corner, Deo hit the brakes of the jeep as she waits for a group of tourists to cross to the other sidewalk while talking to her boss on the phone. 

“It would’ve been much easier if you had just asked him for a selfie or something, Yumi–” 

She hears her boss laugh through the speakers as she looks out of the window. The place is packed to the point she can barely see the pick-up line where the Ubers and Taxis usually park, and a wave of worriedness falls upon her. “Let’s go through with his description once again.” 

“Ok, remember… He’s tall, and the last time he came he had blonde hair but that might not be the case anymore… Mmm, he has a nice shoulder line– Just trust me, his face will be hard to miss. He’s really handsome!” 

The confession has Deo opening a smile. She met Yumi just a couple of weeks back when she arrived in Jeju herself, but the connection was instant. 

For the first three days, she stayed at Yumi’s shack—the colorful hostel by the beach owned by Yumi herself and her long-time fiancé, Namjoon. But then going home became some distant reality she wasn’t ready to face, so kindly she was offered a position at the beach stay. And now, here she is, doing her first task out of the premises and the vigilante eyes of her playful bosses. 

Although she loved the couple who hired her, even if it had been just a mere seventeen days, and she considered them as family, nothing made Deo as uncomfortable as not knowing what she was dealing with. Driving to the airport clueless as to whom she should be picking up wasn’t her cup of tea and the uneasiness she felt was visible as she sighed longly while turning off the call. 

The stop sign goes green again, and with a bold strike of encouragement, she straightens her back, holds the steering wheel with conviction, and begins a cheerful pep talk to herself. 

“You can do this.” She mumbles, hawkeyes scanning the people as her car slowly passes by. “How hard can it be… He’s tall and–” 

The words quickly lose their sound in her mouth. Standing ten feet ahead, a man attracts glances from everyone passing by as he checks the visor in his camera absentmindedly. 

Mentally, Deo starts crossing every characteristic being given by Yumi as she keeps looking at him through the safety of the Jeep’s tainted window. The only thing that doesn’t match is that this handsome man isn’t blonde but a brunette. His chocolate locks look ridiculously soft blowing in the light breeze. 

Inhaling resolved, she parks right next to him, rolling her window down.  

“Hi there! Would you perhaps be the Kim Taehyung from Seoul I’m looking for?” 

Upon hearing his name, Taehyung looks up at her. The girl doesn’t wait for his answer, she jumps out of the vehicle that he can notice is much bigger than herself. “You must be here to pick me up… Right?” 

Deo smiles at him confirming with a nod before opening the big trunk of the Jeep. Instead of introducing herself right away as expected, Taehyung watches as she reaches for his luggage, her knitted eyebrows denouncing how heavy it must be. 

“I– I can do that–” He tries, but she swiftly evades his reach. 

“It’s no problem! Really.”

He watches a bit flustered as she tries to dismiss her effort with a laid-back energy as if it was something she did all the time—to arrange heavy stuff in trunks and whatever not. 

Picking both his duffel bags to help while she is still pushing his suitcase inside the trunk, he is able to take two steps before she takes notice and grabs them from his hands. “Leave that to me! You can wait inside, really. Go ahead!” Deo waves her hand and he starts to walk toward the passenger seat uncertain of how to behave, but decides to take her lead for the time being. 

“Seatbealt!” She says as soon as she occupies the driver's seat and he is quick to follow the instruction. 

“So… Where is Namjoon?” 

Deo reaches for the rearview mirror, casually checking something in her eye before adjusting it back to its position. “Oh, he had to give today’s surf lessons and Yumi was kind of busy with tonight’s gathering so… But you’ll see him soon enough!”

“Ah, I see” 

“He’ll be waiting for us by the beach, don’t worry.” And the bubbly smile she gives him before starting the car and driving them away is enough to shut down his inquiry and haze him in his thoughts. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: What kind of women I’m compatible with? *smiles* Looking back… I’m drawn to the ones that are strange to me at first *chuckles* I think they’re a good pair for me. 

Driving down the lush tapestry of Jeju island, Deo takes the wheel as the jeep’s interior is illuminated by the soft glow of the sun. Melodic notes intertwine with the afternoon’s warm atmosphere as music envelops them. Deo’s fingers tap the steering wheel, and her voice, a gentle hum, dances in harmony with the rhythm. Taehyung, sitting beside her, steals occasional glances, captivated by her carefree demeanor. The playful sway of her copper strands in the wind and the joy evident on her face, as the waves crash on the coast, make the moment feel like a private dance between them.

ılı.lıl taehyung: Have you ever met someone and felt like they were this huge… Question mark? 

ılı.lıl taehyung: Like– “What is she like? She looks fun” *chuckles reminiscent* And you can’t stop having these questions and curiosities… You just want to know more and more. 

As if sensing the perfect moment, a familiar melody begins to play through the car’s speakers. Deo’s eyes lit up with recognition, a grin forming on her lips. Officially Missing You by Tamia had been remade by Basstracks as a summer tune, and it had quickly become one of her favorites at the moment; a song that resonated with the essence of Jeju and its travelers. 

With an impulsive burst of excitement, Deo cranks up the volume, allowing the music to envelop the jeep. The infectious beat cascades around them, harmonizing with the engine's rhythm roaring wildly in the wind. Her hands tap the steering wheel more enthusiastically than before, her foot keeping time with the pedals as the melody ignites her senses. 

And then, as if the music had started a fire within her, she begins to sing. Her voice, rich and passionate, hits Taehyung’s ears in a wonderful and alluring way. Every note she sings seems to carry the energy of the sun-drenched afternoon, a celebration of life and the freedom of the open road. 

Taehyung was initially taken aback by the sudden fervor. He watches in silent amazement as she transforms from a steady driver into a vivacious performer. Her eyes sparkle with delight, and her voice carries an unadulterated joy that is impossible to ignore. 

For a moment, he is rendered speechless, caught in the captivating spell of her uninhibited enthusiasm even though he knows the lyrics by heart himself. But as the chorus approaches, Deo’s voice soars higher, and turning to him with an unmistakable twinkle in her eye, she opens the windows further, allowing the world outside to merge with the music. 

“You know this song–?” As she asks and the chorus reaches its crescendo, she extends her arm toward him, pretending her hand is a microphone. The invitation hangs between them, and he hesitates for a moment. “C’mon! Sing with me–” Shyness lingered, but her spirited performance is too magnetic to resist. 

Taking a deep breath, he leans closer to the imaginary tool and timidly joins in, his voice intertwining with hers. Taehyung sings softly, still caught in the spell of her contagious energy. His eyes remain fixed on her while she loses herself to the music.

At that moment, as Deo sings with all her heart, his own swells with a profound fondness for the stranger sitting by his side. He realizes that this is a glimpse into her unfiltered soul—one that seems to revel in the simple joys of life, that seems to embrace every moment with unbridled passion. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: That’s how I fell for her… You see, I’m attracted to intense women. 

⤷ tangerimin It is fun to follow their lead kekeke so… Same here. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: There is a lot more to it– Like being bubbly… Oh, and she was also pretty feisty! Yeah, *smiles* that’s what she was like. She had just the right amount of feistiness.

When the music fades out and is replaced by the radio host’s voice instead, Deo turns down the volume still in a cheerful spirit. She takes a peak at the passenger seat only to notice Taehyung’s eyes are already on her. Visibly disconcerted, he gives her a small smile before looking over at his window instead, and she takes the opportunity to know more about him. 

“You will like it there,” she starts bubbly and he returns his gaze to her side profile. It is endearing how close to the steering wheel her seat is to compensate for her small stature.  

“I think so too… The last time I came it was such a healing experience– And well, I’ve been wanting to rent a trailer ever since I was younger.” 

“Oh, you’ll love it then!” He watches how her eyes part from the road ahead and instead fall on his side of the car, momentarily pointing with her index finger still on the wheel to the beach extension that passes by them. “It must be lovely to drive along the coasts… Picking these beautiful spots to just– Chill. I have a list of them if you want!” 

Taehyung leans his head on the window, a nostalgic wave hits his lips as the lines of it curve upward and he watches the sea crashing at the shore. It’s like a vivid picture of his childhood right in front of him. 

“That would be great if I had the license to drive the camper around… Maybe next time?” 

“You’re staying over a month and you won’t even change spots?! Now that we can’t do, hon.” 

He looks back at her startled by the casualty she treats everything. And not in a bad way; she didn’t peg him as this overbearing nosy person who didn’t have boundaries, but as someone that seemed carefree and loose. A different version of himself that he had to let go of many moons ago to fit the immense gray box that was societal norms and ordinary conviviality. 

Feeling a bit tempted to just enjoy the moment he decides then to let go of the filters. “That’s the only thing to do, hon, I don’t have the license.” He jokes, chuckling at her reaction when hearing the nickname. “What? You started it.” 

“My bad! Yumi was so invested in this whole casual speech thing ever since I started my part-time job there that now I just can’t come out of it. Something about making the guests feel at home and all that…” 

“Sounds like Yumi!” 

“But back to you. I was thinking… If there was a way to get you a license, would you want it? To live the full experience of a camper, that is…?” 

Taehyung frowns thinking as he looks to the calm waves again, but there isn’t much thinking to do. He would love the freedom of parking the vehicle throughout the whole extension of Jeju. “Sure…” He ponders. Being the type to imagine and discuss things, he was more than ready to give her all the reasons why that would be great for his next stay. “To park it whe–” 

“Great! So let’s do it!” 

It is the last thing he hears before she makes an abrupt U-turn in the middle of the calm road, and he has to flatten one hand on the window and the other on the panel of the Jeep to hold for his life. 

His heart only stops beating at an alarming speed once she hits the brakes and he is able to open the door to exit the vehicle. Still confused as to what is happening, the picture gets clear as she opens her arms excitedly in front of what he realizes to be a driving school.

“Ta-da! Your problems will be solved in exactly two days!” Deo exclaims, and Taehyung is pretty certain that his face is contorting in the most clueless way. He notices how a sudden strike of worriedness flashes on her toffee irises, however. “If you manage to pass the test of course…” 

ılı.lıl taehyung: I should have known she was crazy by then… But in all honesty… That’s what made her fun in the first place. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: And that makes me crazy too *laughs* You know, it’s those kinds of things you only realize later… Much later. Like realizing you’ve been conned only after being conned by someone *sighs*

⤷ supertuna Wow … I have just now realized how some people can be so blind 

ılı.lıl taehyung: And now whenever I see a camper trailer… I think of her.

They only get out of the driving school when he goes through with all the paperwork necessary to go and take the test the next day as Deo had insisted. She not only pushed him into a 3x4 photo machine situated on the long corridor of the building, but also cut the picture she thought to be the best, and helped him fill the application. 

Taehyung keeps replaying the whole shenanigan in his head as he takes his surfboard out of the roof of the jeep parked by his temporary home—a camper trailer by the beach. Last year, Namjoon had called him excitedly sharing the news that his girlfriend and he had bought a cozy place in Jeju and had renovated it to be a chill hostel for surfers and passersby. Of course, Taehyung stopped by to visit as soon as he was able to take some days off, but at the time, since all trailers were already rented, he stayed on the main structure. 

Not that it was bad, far from it. He enjoyed every second; from the late-night gatherings to the lounge festivities, and the amazing lunchtime Yumi was keen on making into a later-on karaoke session or game quest. There was no dull time within the colorful facilities, and it was always kept so casual that it made Taehyung feel very much at home. 

But he had the trailer experience written down on his bucket list ever since he could remember. And so this time around, he was sure to seize the opportunity and make that old promise come true. 

His thoughts wander away as he finishes sticking his board in the warm sand. Playing by the emerald shore, Deo runs laughing as she is chased by two dogs. His right hand comes to his eye line to shield it from the sun as he is incapable of moving on with his life, seeing her throw a stick only to have the bigger dog chasing it and the little one look at her unamused. It’s like he could be here all day to witness this particular scene, unconscious and unbothered by what surrounds them. 

And that is indeed what happens. 

“Hey, you, Mr. cloud9–” Namjoon calls for his attention for the second time. “You didn’t listen to a thing I said, did you?” 

“Hm?” 

“I was telling you to close the canvas of it at night because of the wind– Are you even hearing a thing?” But as he follows his friend's line of sight he knows he isn’t. Letting go of his own obligations for the time being, he stands beside Taehyung, crossing his arms and admiring his dogs running as the waves serve as background music to his ears. It’s peaceful. It’s his piece of peace on earth. 

“She shines, doesn’t she?” 

Namjoon peaks at his friend before looking ahead once more, with a fond smile finding his features. “She does… She has been our recent source of joy. Yumi and I laugh so much because of her lately.” 

“Yeah, she seems fun,” Taehyung muses with a chuckle of his own still enamored by the scene displayed in front of him. Deo falls to the soft sand in laughter and both dogs come flying toward her. 

“Poor girl… She was dumped here by some surfer. Could you believe that?” 

There is a sorrowful pause and Taehyung is suddenly snapped out of his trance, indignity brimming in his eyes as his friend shakes his head clearly saddened by the situation. 

Returning his view to the girl ahead, he adds, “What kind of jerk would do that? She seems so bubbly and… Caring–” 

“You want to take her to Seoul?” Namjoon interrupts and he almost gasps. 

“Take her?!”

“Yeah, take her. I mean, I think she would be happy with you there…” 

“You think she would like to come with me?” Taehyung’s fingers tingle with the possibility, even if he himself doubts it a little. 

“Sure! We just have to give her one last shot and she’s good to go! The vet–”

“Wait. What? What are you talking about?” 

Namjoon stares at him suddenly confused, and then back at the beach again. As Deo hops by, calling for both Monnie and Tan, his eyebrows soften in understanding. 

“Oh… It’s not Monnie, is it?” He muses playfully. “You’re talking about Yewon… I see,” 

“Yewon…” Taehyung mumbles her name to himself. “So her name is Yewon, huh…”

But the impish nudges he receives on his side snap him out of his thoughts and let him know that Namjoon won’t be letting go of this confession so soon. 

In the cozy beachside hostel, the evening breeze whispers through open windows, carrying with it the laughter of tenants. With a lighthearted step, Deo finds herself in the pantry where Namjoon is absorbed in a way to easy recipe for lounge snacks. Fishing his phone out of her jeans, a small smile plays on her lips as she extends the device toward him. 

“Here you go, boss,” she remarks, her voice playful as she not only returns his phone but also substitutes the sugar jar in his hand with the salt and pepper. 

Namjoon glances up, chuckling at his clumsiness. “We were almost in trouble there. You’re a lifesaver.” 

As he takes the phone from the table filled with condiments, he can’t help but tease, “You should probably get one of your own, don’t you think?” 

“Eh. It’s just a hassle really… I only use it to talk to our guests.” 

Leaving him to his impromptu cooking, she strolls out to the porch, where the new visitors are gathering. The atmosphere is lively, with conversations and newfound curiosity filling the air. Deo effortlessly mingles, chatting with familiar faces and welcoming newcomers that pass by the beach. 

Among the crowd, she notices Taehyung engrossed in a ping pong game, as she takes some beers to a group playing Jenga. His infectious laughter captivates everyone around him and she can’t help but smile at the view. Her gaze lingers, catching his eye for a fleeting second. 

She points with her head to the group around him, wearing a playful smile on her lips, and lifting her thumb up to measure how he is doing tonight she waits for his response. Immediately he raises his own finger positively, his smile opening wider at her caring gesture to check on him. 

Suddenly, the lights flicker and go out, causing momentary confusion and their brief interaction to cease. Murmurs and laughter rise as the guests fumble in the dark. Deo is the only one chuckling expectant as she knows what is to come. 

Then, not ten seconds later, Yumi’s voice pierce the darkness through a megaphone. “Ladies and gents, it’s game time!” 

The announcement is met with cheers and applause, and the porch transforms into a playground of excitement. Deo herself feels the rush of anticipation buzz down to the tip of her fingers as the group prepares for a surprise game under the stars, even though she replays the script made by her and Yumi earlier on in her mind.

The last time Taehyung stayed here, he arrived so tired from a late-night flight that he wasn’t able to participate in the welcoming game he knew Yumi organized every month, and he regretted it for the whole week he rented a room. This night was all every guest he met by the beach was able to talk about, and now he was ready to find why. 

As some fairy lights and a big screen illuminate the space, Deo watches the handsome newcomer’s silhouette amid the glow. His grin was unmistakable as he raised a red cup, ready to dive open-heartedly into whatever it was that the hosts had prepared.

Supposedly, every time Yumi and Namjoon did this for the new guests to ambient themselves and feel more comfortable around everyone else, they prepared a scavenge hunt inside and outside of the hostel's bounds. But this week everything had gone to space and changes had to be made at the last minute. 

Between losing a long-time employee and having to train Deo on the spot, as well as managing the surf lessons and running the business, the couple had little to no time to arrange the things needed for the anticipated scavenge hunt. So this month, Deo pitched in with a rather easy game to orchestrate and that would still promote the mingling of the visitors—Simon Says. 

“And… Start!” Yumi exclaimed as she pressed the button to start the presentation on the projection screen. 

Big crimson red letters appear giving instructions and the crowd thrillingly follows. “Simon says: make a group with four girls and three guys” it reads at first and everyone fumbles their way to find open spots. Deo herself is forced to join as two guests she had come to know, pull her to their side. The thrill of the game intertwined with the salt-kissed wind made her feel some sense of belonging that she had never really expected. 

“Three guys, three girls!”

In the throes of the chaos of the match, it was inevitable however how Taehyung’s gaze followed the sound of Deo’s laughter. Even if their eyes meet in brief moments, and even if it was in the middle of an ongoing competition, a silent connection seemed to pull them to each other like gravity. 

As the game reaches its apex, the tension in the air is palpable. The players’ laughter overlaps with the sound of Yumi’s megaphone, creating a symphony of fun. They aren’t completely strangers now. There is a spontaneous connection formed between them all, just like the hosts had intended it to. 

“One guy, one girl! Quick!”, Yumi reads the screen through the megaphone overexcited, and the remaining participants eye each other in confusion while the rest of the crowd laughs entertained. “Oh–” 

Taehyung steals a glance at his two partners, both male, and they all chuckle amused, not really knowing how to proceed. 

“I think I messed up when writing this– Wait.” Yumi confesses to the crowd sheepishly, starting to move toward the laptop to try and fix the mistake. 

But then Taehyung feels like someone is watching him through his peripheral, and when he turns his head, it’s her. Deo stands two feet away from him, close to Yumi, watching joyfully, and he suddenly knows what to do. Or better, his heart does. 

With two quick steps, he reaches for her hand, pulling her gently to his side and attracting everyone else’s attention to their figures, Yumi’s included. In the midst of the applause and collective cheer, Deo’s mute inquiry reaches his eyes. 

The porch begins to transform into a realm of unity and exhilaration, being lit by the moonlight and the shared spirit of the guests, but not that any of the two notice, as the girl is too enchanted by her last-minute partner’s orbs. Taehyung's big brown eyes pierce hers with certainty and a flash of curiosity that is almost childlike. 

A shared smile floats between them as her sight falls to his lips, a silent acknowledgment of the joy of the evening and perhaps the butterflies that flutter rapidly in their stomachs.

The lights had gone out, but the bonds forming under the starry August sky seemed to shine even brighter. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: When you look into a girl’s eyes you can tell if she’s compatible with you or not. I can see who she is through it… And in that moment I felt it. I knew that she and I would be compatible. 

“We have our winner for tonight!” Yumi exclaims through the megaphone as they keep staring into each other’s eyes, “Congrats!” 

Amidst the fading echoes of the beachside game’s conclusion, jubilant cheers resound from the open porch of the hostel. The sun had retreated long before the gathering had started, ceding its reign to a canvas of twilight hues, but now fireworks burst into existence, painting the sky with a kaleidoscope of colors. 

The couple, different from the majority of the crowd who excitedly run towards the shores, stands hand in hand still. A silent connection stronger than the clamor. With each explosion, Taehyung’s gaze shifts from the spectacle to Deo, seeing in her eyes a breezeful wonder that makes him rendered. Yet, it’s not just the pyrotechnics that leave him breathless. As he watches her, a quiet realization dawns—his heart races to a rhythm he hadn’t known before. It’s more than just curiosity. At that moment, amid the splendor of the fireworks and the tranquil beauty of the night, Taehyung recognizes the gentle tug of love. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: I liked everything about her… The way she looked at things and the way she smelled. How she had two funky single braids done in her loose strands and the clothes she threw together without much effort making an all-together beachy look. 

ılı.lıl taehyung: Everything about her seemed perfect to me. I just… I really liked her.

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supertuna Maybe it’s because I’ve been dating for so long… But I find dating stories uhm… Kind of funny now keke 

callmerinie “And it was at that moment that the fireworks went off…” 🤭🤭 

tangerimin You bet they heard bells, too. I heard it was explosions of fireworks 😏

⤷ notmekeys i’m too drnk to answee this

supertuna I think everyone feels like their own love life is special like in a movie or something

notmekeys it’s a beautiful story tho

⤷ notmekeys there waas a guy who found a butiful woman on a trip and and the night they met fireworkss went off peww pew!

⤷ notmekeys their eyes met bang !! theirr hearts too

bluengrey But those things can happen all at once… At least I think so. 

boreo well… if the woman is insanely pretty that’s possible. don’t you think?

⤷ tangerimin That’s exactly when you have to realize it’s just too good to be true, don’t you think? 

supertuna Let’s say you wake up from that dream, then what happens if you don’t get together?

⤷ callmerinie then you die alone

⤷ notmekeys no. no no. i’m not alone. 

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bluengrey Hmm

bluengrey I would still fall for her..

boreo if i met him again… i’d fall in love again

bluengrey Yes, I think I would.

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[gaylienz]

sharing some of my ocd intrusive thoughts for the first time jic it might help someone else feel less alone;

the fear that i dont have enough friends and that all the ones i have are going to realize i’m not worth being around were some of the first thoughts that would NOT leave my mind and would keep me up and make me sick and ironically caused me to lose friends (a self fulfilling prophecy). tbh these are still some feelings i struggle with despite carrying on years long friendships now.

it hasn’t happened in a while but sometimes i would hyper focus on my breathing or swallowing or blinking etc and would drive myself to the point of tears with how it took up all my attention

the worst ones are the thoughts about incest. there’s been a lot of sexual trauma in my family and my brain likes to find the worst moments (like when i’m trying to jerk off or sleep) to remind me and torture me with all the what ifs. its gotten slightly better but i would have dreams/nightmares and memories from childhood haunt me

i used to do this really cool (/sarcasm) thing where i would be so self conscious about my race, being white-passing, and racist (aka a potential threat to any poc around) that it circled right back around to being super racist (another self fulfilling stupid prophecy) bc i would get nervous anytime someone not-white was around that they would be anxious about my presence….

classic suicidal thoughts even when im not feeling suicidal (something goes wrong even a little bit—my brain: well this wouldnt have happened if you were dead. me: wow thanks) even now today im struggling with the awful 'im gonna kill myself' jokes. trying to replace with 'i need rat bites to live' lol

the way i dealt with the obsessions was a combo of things which never really felt compulsive but now i see they might be? i used to read a lot. like to the point where i would skip meals and be inside for the entire day, unmoving. i liked reading but mostly it was how i kept my mind busy and away from other more dangerous thoughts.

i guess body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs) are a thing with ocd which i didnt always know—basically its really gross and im ashamed of it but i autocannibalise….i’ve been doing so for as long as i can remember but im so ashamed i’ve never really talked about it bc i just thought i was disgusting (and maybe i am) but i catch myself doing it without thought which i believe is impulse (or habit?) idk but it hurts my body so probably would be considered mildly concerning? i've pulled out my hair and given myself many scars through this kind of stuff.

anyway just letting you know that you're not alone, don't be afraid to ask for help, and if that doesnt work then never give up and keep asking for help, be excellent to each other you never know what someone is experiencing <3