#it’s always john

[saint-mona]

Trying to decide if this 2008 Paul side project is about his Heather Mills break up, or John?

[theswampghost]

one thing i adore about fandom is the “[bad parent]’s A+ parenting” tag on ao3. it’s so universal and so sarcastic and it makes me giggle every time i see it

[buttdumplin]

yeah simon is the one to scare people away when they get too close you, using his size and movement to intimidate, simultaneously shielding you behind him

yeah soap is the one barking loud, creating a spectacle and calling people out, and warning them away

yeah kyle is the one humiliating people, mocking offenders until either their own actions dawn on them or they finally recognize the venom in his eyes

but price is the one that launches into swinging. there is no warning, no hesitation. taking a step, even a single word against you, warrants immediate action in his mind. it's no laughing fucking matter. you are a top fucking prize, his prize, the best the world has to offer. john is rabid in his protection, bearing tooth and boot and claw and fist. there’s no point in talking to him or trying to negotiate, an offense is an offense and he won’t meet it halfway. someone looks at you the wrong way? they won't be able to see out of swollen eyes after headbutts them, crushing their nose. someone whispers something nasty about you? good luck even eating with that jaw wired shut. god forbid someone touches you, the other three boys can barely hold him back. john will break countless bones in every way he knows and beat his knuckles bloody if your smile starts to drop. 

[bluegiragi]

bogey.

early access + nsfw on patreon monster!AU masterpost

[lokh]

guess who just finished their taz balance relisten

[abstractpyschopomp]

[hamsterdads]

johndave once again

[aftg4rd]

🧼: “D’ya think I cuid take my gear off first, Si?”

💀: “Negative.”

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Arw you really the author John Green? The same person who wrote The Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska?

Yes, but I published one of those books 19 (?!?!?!) years ago and the other 12 (!?!?!?!?) years ago. What have I been up to since then?

My brother Hank and I started Good.store, which delivers high-quality socks, coffee, and soap to your home and donates 100% of its profit to charity. Through good store, we've raised over $7,500,000 to support efforts to radically reduce maternal mortality in Sierra Leone, where as recently as 2019, one in seventeen women could expect to die in pregnancy or childbirth.

(In fact, technically I am here on tumblr as an unpaid intern for the awesome coffee club, which you should really sign up for if you like ethically sourced coffee that tastes delicious and doesn't enrich billionaires.)

I wrote the novel Turtles All the Way Down and then had a little existential crisis and wrote a nonfiction book called The Anthropocene Reviewed, the latter of which is my first book for adults and my first attempt to write as myself.

I helped produce made a movie adaptation (streaming now on Max!) of Turtles all the Way Down.

I helped raise my kids and supported my spouse as she wrote her book You Are An Artist and created a PBS show about art called The Art Assignment.

I ran the educational media company Complexly and the merch company dftba.com while my brother had cancer.

I bought around 2% of a fourth-tier English football team called AFC Wimbledon. Wimbledon are different from most football clubs because they are owned by their fans, each of whom gets one vote in the club's leadership regardless of how much money they put into the club.

I became obsessed with tuberculosis, the world's deadliest infectious disease (it will kill over a million people this year despite being curable), and how TB both exemplifies and reinforces human-built structures of injustice, which is the subject of a book I'm writing that will come out next year.

[unspecifiedfigure]

soap showing off his new muz— i mean mask to his favorite LT (with no ulterior motives of course)

[watsonsdetective]

Just learned about the existence of this poem written by Vincent Starrett in 1942. I'm always so happy when I can learn more about the Sherlockian fandom and discover more of Sherlockiana.

[genesisguidline]

something, something, Arthur and John got teleported to the eyepocalypse and was asking around to find a way back when they were recommended to visit the local ‘google’(whatever that means) guy and his plus one.

[tojisun]

in a way, simon believes that your first time should be shared. it’s not really a kink nor a fetish, just that. well.

you’re his captain’s favourite.

see, simon’s never had a ‘good’ roster of dates. they’ve always burned faster than what he wanted; and he’s learned that oftentimes, physical compatibility means nothing when they would rather fight him about the weight of his secrets than trust that simon’s disappearance isn’t because he’s out cheating.

price had never really liked any of them; he’d always given the same reaction whenever simon swung by to introduce them to him—lips pursed, a single thick eyebrow cocked, before letting out a slow sigh through his nose.

sure, he’d be cordial and kind, faux smile easing up simon’s dates into a quiet stutter because you don’t have to be military to feel the drags of price’s scrutiny. but simon knew what price didn’t say—he was not pleased with them. hell, he was not even wowed, not by that brunette with a trimmed waist nor by that scholar with soft lips.

and simon’s learned to trust price more than himself so the breakups follow not soon after.

then, you came along.

you’re pretty and smart and kind to a fault, and simon felt like he was on something unsteady because it felt too good to be true. you felt too good to be true. too understanding of simon’s cross, of his silence and his secrets. too patient even when simon struggles to be honest with you.

too beautiful for him to hold back.

so he brought you back home—home was wherever his squad were—and introduced you to his mates. garrick and mactavish were swayed into your gravitational pull, leaving them to paw at each other with your name pressed between their lips like maybe if they did it that way, they would be able to take a taste of you.

it was surprising, sure, especially when one knows how achingly possessive they are for each other, but it was price that was shocking the most.

perhaps it’s the way you returned his banter with a level of honesty or maybe it was the way you had eyed him with the same hunger that burned within simon or maybe it was the ease in the way you folded into yourself in front of john like you knew what it meant to be before him. to be presented to him. whatever it was, it led to john giving simon his approval, crooned directly into his lieutenant’s ears like simon had just successfully completed a mission entrusted to him by price. like simon had just proved himself to their captain.

like price was finally, truly, proud of him.

so, in return, it’s just right to share your first time with simon—your first time with anyone, for that matter—with price, isn’t it? honour his approval by giving him proof that you and simon have done good in fostering your relationship.

(your nose curls, fury building up in your chest. “that’s not how it works, si.”

but simon is stubborn and he’s not listening, and—

the doorbell rings. simon perks up like a damn puppy. and— oh.

oh.

he needs his captain there. it’s—

you’re not the show. you’re not who’s going to be watched. it’s simon.

huh. well then, you’re not really opposed to it now, actually.)

[contact-guy]

THE BOSCOMBE VALLEY MYSTERY part 3 - read part 1 and part 2 first! What's a detective to do when his perceived invulnerability is tied to his unknowability, etc etc

Some lines are recontextualized from the (frankly wild) opening of THE CREEPING MAN - "He was a man of habits, narrow and concentrated habits, and I had become one of them. As an institution I was like the violin, the shag tobacco, the old black pipe, the index books, and others perhaps less excusable."

THE DYING DETECTIVE is next...

[ibahibut]

Let's make an oath to live together

[shyravenns]

Nik sure does love their weekly "meetings" 🤭