#it’s also a remote position so THEORETICALLY I could just stay at the job while moving OUT OF THE PNW

[fractallogic]

Okay I’m actually fascinated by what this company is doing

It’s a strange thing to be thinking boy I get this job doing something I’ve never been interested in (NLP, computational language stuff) to create things I hate (chatbots and prompts for customer service reps in call centers) using tools I’m deeply suspicious of being used for nefarious purposes (AI and LLMs)

WHOOPS TURNS OUT ITS REALLY INTERESTING

I’m explaining it badly but like, it’s VERY COOL what they’re doing and how they’re doing it

[awhitehead17]

Universal Signs

Epilogue / Previous Chapter

A/N: This is the final chapter and I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story, who has stuck by it from the start and to everyone who interacted with the story. It's all greatly appreciated, so thank you.

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D

After slapping a sticky note on the fridge Tim heads out into the gardens of Wayne Manor. He feels the need to be alone and plus he wants some fresh air, the garden is a great place that provides him with both of those things. The note just happens to be letting everyone know where he’s gone off to. It wouldn’t be the first time its happened so they know to leave him be.

Tim walks through the grass and heads into the cluster of trees at the back of the property. Over the last few months, this area has become his escape for solitude. It’s peaceful, hidden away from the manor and no one else goes there. There’s a small gap in the grove, it’s big enough for him to settle on the ground, the tree roots emerging from the ground provide a good support to lean on and the grass there keeps it somewhat comfortable.

He comes here when he needs a break and today is no different. Being inside the manor is suffocating him and Tim just needed to get out, he needed to get away from the same walls in attempts to try and clear his mind.

Settling down on the ground Tim lets out a sigh and takes a moment to observe the nature around him. The leaves on the trees are slowly beginning to turn into a mixture of reds, oranges and browns, a clear sign that autumn is on the way. There are birds chirping away in the trees. There’s an occasional rustling of leaves where there are squirrels hurrying along the branches above him.

After a while he closes his eyes and leans back against the tree root he’s come to favour over time and lets his mind wonder.

It’s been six months since he’s returned home from being in space. At this point he’s somewhat adjusted to being back however there are plenty of times when he struggles with it. There are as many good days as there are bad days, they seem to balance one another out with how often they each occur.

The first month had been the hardest. His emotions were all over the place, everyone was on high alert, there were so many things Tim needed to catch up on like events in the world and even just his family relationships. Tim’s mental health went downhill, not alarmingly so considering what had happened but it was still a cause of concern for his family. He was constantly hit with anxiety, paranoia, disorientation, nightmares and insomnia.

Tim absolutely refused to go to therapy. No matter how much his family tried to convince he just outright refused, even straight up walking out of the room when the word was mentioned. He knows it would be good for him, however what the fuck was he supposed to say? How would he describe about being kidnapped by aliens? They would think he's insane and would probably try to lock him up in an asylum! The easiest way to avoid that is to simply avoid therapy.

He did find though once he told Dick and Jason what happened things became a little easier. A weight disappeared from his shoulders and he could be open with his brothers. Not about everything that occurred but most things and that alone made a difference.

Things stayed rocky throughout the second month and it wasn’t until the third month that things started to improve. Tim started to handle his mental health better, it took some time but he came across a variety of resources online and used those as guidance. While he didn’t magically heal overnight and still had problems, they slowly became less severe and easier to handle.

When the fourth month came around they let the public see Tim for the first time since he returned. That had been a mistake. The Wayne’s are well known in Gotham City (and somewhat the world) so there had been spotlights on them from the moment it got declared Tim was missing. While the spotlight lessened over the course of the two years Tim had been gone, once Tim’s return made it to the news the family were instantly highlighted once again.

Bruce and his team kept Tim out of the way, they kept statements and quotes pretty vague and anonymous. Of course there were lots of conspiracies on what had happened to Tim, where he had been that entire time and how he had managed to return home. If Tim was being honest some of the theories were pretty hilarious, though not one of them even came close to the truth.

The time they decided to get Tim out in public was during the annual charity event that took place in city hall. Majority of his family were attending meaning Tim wouldn’t be alone, the spotlight would theoretically only be on him for a few moments until the next celebrity showed up. Tim had been reluctant at first but after reassurances from his family he said yes. After all if he made an appearance the media may calm down and leave them alone.

The moment Tim stepped out of the limo they arrived in he had been bombarded and it didn’t let up the entire night. Even with his family there and the bodyguards no one really left him alone. The press were savages hunting for food.

Before getting kidnapped Tim could handle the press well, he knew how to play the game, how to avoid and deflect questions and answers, but this time he couldn’t. It was all too overwhelming, his emotions and mind went into overdrive and panic. He couldn’t help the panic attack no matter what, fortunately his family caught on to what was happening and managed to get him away somewhere private by the time the attack happened. They supported him through it and then called it a night. He hasn’t been in public since.

The fifth month had been a mixture of month two and three. Tim had his ups and downs but he was handling it the best he could. His family were always there to support him no matter what.

During the fifth month Tim decided to tell Bruce what had happened. He sat down with his adoptive father, Alfred too, in his office and Tim told him everything that had happened. Tim had been a nervous wreck and it took encouragement from Dick and Jason for him to finally do it.

Both Bruce and Alfred seemed to take it in stride. At first they seemed like they didn’t believe him but after a couple of days thinking about it they said to him they believed him, why would Tim make up something like that? On the other hand his story seemed to only encourage Bruce to try and get him a therapist even more and once again Tim blatantly refused. He argued he was handling it and so on. With reluctance Bruce dropped the topic but Tim knows it’ll come up again soon enough.

Now though, at six months, Tim thinks he’s doing okay (besides the obvious). He would like to believe he’s doing okay. There’s not a day that goes by where he doesn’t think about the aliens that saved him, or some of the events and adventures that had happened when he had been with them.

If there’s anything positive that’s come from his experience it’s that he's decided on a career change. Before getting kidnapped Tim had been working at Wayne Enterprises in the offices doing a mixture of roles. At the time he had been looking into the future of helping Bruce to run the company, he was well on his way to do it too despite his age. However his trip has opened his eyes up and he’s decided a career change seems suitable. He’s now going into astrophysics. A job in the sciences and looking at space, time and the universe.

Tim has only recently started up online courses because he needs to work on getting a degree in the field before moving onto getting an actual job in the area. He’s smart enough for it, and now that he has the interest and even first-hand experience in the area its all the more interesting. He finds it particularly fun when the question “is there life on other planets?” come up.

Apart from the online classes Tim’s time is spent catching up with things and generally chilling around the house unless he's dragged into something by one of his siblings.

Oh, doesn’t that make him think of another major adjustment he’s had to come to terms with. Damian. Bruce’s biological son. Tim knows his story of arriving to the Manor but he doesn’t fully know the details of his past. There was tension between them but they were civil to one another any time they cross paths. It certainly took time, and still is taking time, to get used to that he has a younger sibling. On the bright side at least he’s not the youngest anymore!

It was also thanks to Damian that Tim learnt that his universal translator works on Earth too. Upon his arrival back home, Tim had completely forgotten about the little device installed in his teeth and the remote that came with it. His mind had been on other things after all but it wasn’t until Damian spoke in his native tongue, Arabic, that Tim realised the translator is still implanted in him and it works with Earth languages too.

After that discovery Tim spent a good five hours on YouTube watching a range of videos in a variety of languages. It blew his mind that he could understand every single one of them. However, even though he can understand them, he can’t speak the languages nor can he write or read them. It had been an interesting discovery, now any time Damian speaks Arabic and Tim hears him, he can’t help but snicker at the teen’s language and the kinds of names he calls their siblings.

He sighs again, feeling oddly unsettled. His life seems almost rather dull now in a way. If anyone heard him say that after knowing everything he went through they would call him insane, but it’s like his “space life” had always been one adventure after another, always something to do, or a danger to be aware of. Now that he's back on Earth where there’s not so much of that it feels strange.

With that pleasant thought in his mind Tim opens his eyes up and starts to make a move to leave. He usually comes out to this forestry area to clear his mind but unfortunately today that doesn’t seem to be the case, his mind doesn’t seem to want to shut up. Tim trudges back to the Manor through the gardens as the sun begins to lower signalling the approach of the evening.

The next few days seem to repeat themselves until the weekend rolls around. It’s Saturday when Dick decides he wants to take Tim shopping. It’s a risk going out into public like that, as Tim pointed out to him, but Dick argues it’ll do him good to leave the Manor and how it’ll make a change of scenery for him.

Tim only agreed in the end when they compromised they’ll only be out for no more than three hours. Dick wanted more and Tim would prefer less, three seemed to be a good balance for them. Apparently his brother wanted to get himself some new clothes and there was the fact he needed to get Barbara something for her birthday that’s quickly approaching.

Together they go to the closet mall and Dick drags him into about five different clothing shops. The man gets himself a variety of new autumn clothes and even grabs Tim a fluffy sweater and a new jacket. Tim really did have to stop him when he tried to by an elephant onesie though, Dick may like the damn things but that didn’t mean Tim did.

After clothes shopping Dick decided to duck inside a jeweller’s shop on the way out of the mall. While Dick is inside buying who knows what, Tim choses to wait for him outside the shop. He stands  by the door, leaning against the frame and people-watched as they walked by.

No one paid him much attention as they went about their days. Each person, family, couples all absorbed in whatever activity they were doing or what shop they wanted to get to. It still was bizarre to Tim, even after six months, that everyone here just goes about their days without the slightest bit of clue to what’s out there above and beyond. It makes him wonder what and where he would be if he never got kidnapped.

Tim shifts his position against the frame, propping his back up against it more as he continues to look around. He freezes however when something catches his eyes at the other end of the mall. There’s a small group of people who were stood off to the side by the wall out of the way from everyone that catches his attention. Their heads were ducked together as they spoke to one another and they all had their backs to Tim so he couldn’t see their faces. Tim doesn’t look away though because there’s something about them that seems familiar.

He’s not sure how long he stares at the group of three but they don’t move from their position in that time at all. He doesn’t think they’re up to anything as they don’t seem suspicious but there’s a tugging feeling inside of Tim that’s telling him there’s more to the group.

When one of them turns their head around to observe the surroundings as if trying to find something, Tim gasps. Surely that can’t be…

“Tim!”

Tim blinks and looks away from the group to find Dick standing next to him looking at him curiously.

“What’s gotten into you? You okay, I was calling your name for ages.”

Tim blinks at him again before looking back over the group, he sucks in a breath when he finally sees all three faces of the group. He watches with wide eyes as they start to move from their position and Tim knows he needs to go after them.

Without saying anything he pushes off the door frame and heads in that direction as the group starts walking in the opposite way. If Tim doesn’t catch up to them now then he’ll lose them and that isn’t an option.

However he doesn’t get more than a couple steps away before he's stopped as his arm is caught in a tight grip by his older brother. Tim tugs his arm roughly as he tries to get Dick to let him go. He frantically looks between his brother and the slowly retreating group.

“Dick, please, let me go… I need to go.” Tim begs. He could feel the desperate need to go and approach that group, he could feel his heart pounding and even some excitement stirring inside of him.

Dick’s grip only tightens. “What the hell you on about Tim?” His words are stern but Tim could hear how they’re said with an anxious tone.

Tim tugs his arm again, this time reaching out with his other to shove Dick away. “I’ll explain, I promise, just let me go…”

“No, not until you tell me what you’ve seen.”

When Tim looks over the group was now almost out of sight and Tim could feel his heart dropping. This was his last chance just to make sure he hadn’t been seeing things. Knowing Dick wasn’t going to let him go, Tim shoves him hard and yells at him.

“Let me go!”

In either shock or panic, Dick lets him go and Tim couldn’t be more relieved. As soon as his brother’s hand is off his arm Tim is shoots off in an instant, he ignores all the eyes now staring at him as he runs by them in the direction the group had disappeared from.

Miraculously he manages to catch up to the retreating group. He spots the three familiar figures manoeuvring their way through the crowd heading towards the other end of the mall where an exit is. Tim rushes forward, not caring about how manic he looks as he passes by strangers, and as soon as he’s in hearing range he shouts to try and get their attention.

“Kon! Kon, Cassie! Guys. Bart!”

The shouts get him a few more weird looks but he continues to be oblivious to them as he’s tunnel visioned on the three people in front of him. Thankfully his shouting gets the attention of the right people because the group stop and turn around in their place.

Suddenly Tim couldn’t breathe. There in front of him were the aliens who he thought he would never see again, the aliens who saved his life numerous of times and the ones who returned him home.

Kon, Cassie and Bart stand in front of him staring back seeming just as shocked as he is. For a long time none of them move as they all take in that they’re actually seeing one another again. If Tim weren’t so surprised by their appearance he would be questioning it, but he’s too elevated to give it much thought in that moment.

Without realising it Tim is moving and so were they. They meet in the middle and Tim finds himself wrapped up in a group hug. He breathes deeply, wondering why the action feels so familiar, and even safe, when he hasn’t seen them in six months.

He pulls back and looks wildly between the three of them. He can’t believe they’re here. Could this be a dream?

“Tim! We were just looking for you!” Bart grins brightly.

Tim shoots him a look, then glances at the other two. “Looking for me? Why what’s going on? Wait, wait, wait, how are you guys here? Why are you here?”

Bart’s smile falters a little at Tim’s rapid questions. “Because we wanted to find you.”

Tim shakes his head, feeling a little guilty that his questions came across wrongly. “No, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just completely surprised to see you that’s all. This is totally unexpected.”

“Tim, as wonderful as it is to see you, do you know a place we can talk privately and not in the middle of… this place.” Cassie says glancing around cautiously.

Tim copies her and he finally realises how many people are looking at them funnily as well as giving them a wide berth as they pass by. Tim nods his head in understanding, this isn’t the kind of topic a group of people can discuss in the middle of the mall.

Just as Tim was thinking of a place they could go for privacy a shout gets his attention.

“Tim what the hell!” He turns around and is met with a furious Dick marching up to him. “What the fuck were you thinking running off like that?”

Tim huffs and rolls his eyes, he gets why Dick is worried but at the end of the day he is in fact an adult and not a toddler. “Dick it’s fine, I’m sorry but this is important.”

Dick studies him for a moment before his eyes flicker over to the three aliens standing opposite them looking awkward at the sudden appearance of his brother.

“Right so, Dick, this is Kon, Cassie and Bart,” he points to each alien in turn, “guys, this is my oldest brother Dick.”

There is a pause between them all and while the aliens look confused he could see the wheels turning inside of Dick’s mind. As if it’s clicked, Dick turns to Tim with wide eyes, “Are these the ones that saved your life?”

Tim smiles, feeling pleased that his brother has remembered his story and those involved. “Yeah that’s right.

“What are they doing here?”

Tim shrugs and turns to the others. “What are you guys doing here, beside looking for me?”

“Can we go somewhere else first Tim. Like away from all the eyes.” Cassie says pointedly.

Next to him Dick looks confused. “Tim what did she say? Wait, how do you understand them? That isn’t any language I’ve heard of.”

Tim blinks trying to comprehend everything going on. The aliens that saved his life are on Earth and he doesn’t know why, his brother is clearly confused and the others are looking at him expectantly. Tim is starting to feel pretty overwhelmed by it all.

In attempts to control his thoughts and emotions Tim takes a deep breath. “Right lets go somewhere else. Then everything can be explained.”

The private place they end up going happens to be a nearby park. It’s a large open space, where people are scattered over the place, it’s private in the sense that no one is paying them any attention and unless someone walks directly next to them, no one can hear their conversation.

The five of them settle down on the grass in a circle, the aliens and even Dick all look a little apprehensive for the choice of location but it’s not like there’s many others. It’s not like Tim and Dick can return home with the aliens in tow and expect Bruce to be okay with it.

“Right,” Tim says getting everyone’s attention. He glances at his friends, while still feeling  completely gobsmacked by the fact they’re here, and gets down to business. Tim needs to find out what’s going on.

Now they’re all sat down Tim blurts out his questions without restraint. “How are you guys here? Why are you here? I thought you were all being punished or put on probation? Did you complete it, did it end and now you’re free to do as you please once again?”

None of them respond to his rapid questioning, they each look at him blankly like they couldn’t understand what he’s saying. When the silence drags out for too long Tim is about to repeat them when Kon speaks up for the group.

The Kryptonian sends him an empathetic look and with patience says, “Let us just explain what’s happened that’s brought us here, hopefully the story will answer your questions.”

Tim has to retrain himself from firing out the questions again. He wants answers! He can’t believe they’re here, he thought he would never see them again but here they are!

Next to him Dick lightly smacks his shoulder to get his attention. “Tim what are they saying? What’s going on?”

His brother is looking awfully confused and concerned. Tim can’t exactly blame him. He’s dragged Dick with him to sit down with practically three strangers and is now witnessing a one-sided conversation because he can’t understand the other three.

“They’re about to explain why they’re on Earth. I honestly thought I would never see them again, I’m just as confused as you are.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea Tim. What if it’s some sort of… trap or something?”

A surge of anger rises inside of Tim at the accusation. He understands Dick’s worries but this isn’t a trap and he knows it. They wouldn’t do that to him, not after everything they went through together.

“Dick shut up for a moment.” Tim snaps at him after a pause once he’s got his emotions under control. “Also they can understand you too, so watch what you say. If you don’t like it, go away and I’ll come find you later, or sit here and be quiet, it’s your choice.”

Dick stares at him, clearly taken back by the aggression of his words. But Tim isn’t relenting. He narrows his eyes at his brother, daring him to say something. In the end Dick raises his hands up in surrender and stays where he is. Once he’s delt with Tim turns back to the aliens.

“Sorry about him, there’s just a little misunderstanding. Please tell me what happened and how you’re here.”

Kon launches into the explanation of what happened after they took Tim home. Apparently they returned back to Krypton before finishing off their collection job, what they had originally been doing when they first met Tim. Once they completed that they were put on probation and were kept under watchful eyes for a long time. They weren’t allowed on any missions, they had to go back to the basic training skills and from there build the trust back up with their so called leaders.

Once some trust was established they were allowed on missions but only with other older members of their squadron, they described it like someone was babysitting them. They also had to report back on anything and everything during the mission. Because of good behaviour from the each of them, they were then allowed out on missions independently as a team some time later.

After more trust had been built, after they had once again proven themselves apparently Kal approached them for a very specific mission that would suit their abilities and past experiences.

Kal had given the three of them the mission of doing recon and observing humans on planet Earth. Apparently their files and databases don’t have enough accurate information on humans and after the fiasco with Tim, it’s about time they start taking human beings into consideration and start learning about them properly.

The three of them were to stay on Earth for an extended period of time to gather the data they need and to regularly report back to the leaders with their findings. They didn’t go into detail on what it is they need to do or what they need to observe but Tim can easily overlook it because at the end of the day they are in fact here on Earth and with him.

“So Kal sent you here on Earth to ‘observe’ humans because of you guys knowing me?” Tim asks just so he’s clear on it all.

The three of them grin and nod in response. Amused, Tim snorts softly. He settles back on the grass, using his elbows to keep him propped up. “Surely he knows that as soon as you land you would try and find me. By the way, how did you find me? I thought I was unable to be tracked?”

“We parked the ship where we dropped you off. We’ve hidden the ship from anyone seeing it or anything detecting it. Once we’ve found a more suitable place we’ll move the ship.” Cassie explains waving her hand around subconsciously as she talks. “Knowing that the city next to it is the one you said you lived in, we took a chance and started looking for you. As you pointed out, we can’t track you, so we’ve been relying on nothing but hope and chance in bumping into you.”

Tim shakes his head in disbelief. So it had been by pure chance that they happened to be in the same part of the city, in the same mall, at the exact same time as Tim.

“I’ve always wanted to come to Earth, especially after meeting you Tim. It’s strange, different from other planets we’ve visited before. Also why are the days so short? Everything is bright because the sun is out and you’d practically blink and it would suddenly be dark, but after that you’d blink another time and it’s light once again.” Bart starts rambling from his position in between Tim and Kon. He looks around curiously, taking in everything and Tim could see him shaking in place, it’s like it’s taking all of Bart’s self-restraint to not go speeding off into the city in his excitement.

Tim laughs at his comments, Bart is just the same as he remembers. They all are really and it fills Tim with a warmth he can’t describe.

“How have you been since you’ve been back? Is everything alright, run into any trouble?” Kon asks him sounding concerned. Tim notices the way his eyes drift over to Dick who is currently on his phone not paying them much attention. Tim gets the feeling Kon may be feeling a bit protective of him, especially after seeing how Dick had unintentionally treated him earlier.

Tim shrugs, pulling a face as he looks around the park. “No more than what was expected to be honest.” He looks back at the alien. “So far, and touch wood, I haven’t run into or even seen any League members. There’s been my own personal stuff I’ve had to deal with but nothing like what you’re thinking of really.”

Cassie sits up straighter, she’s also eyeing Dick like he could be a threat of some kind. “And him there?”

Tim rolls his eyes in response. When will everyone stop treating him like a kid that constantly needs to be protected? “He’s fine. He gets a little over-protective and after not seeing me for a couple years, especially after what happened, he wants to make sure I’m fine. He’s not a threat.”

Both Cassie and Kon don’t seem satisfied with his answer but they let it go. Tim lets out a long breath. “So what now? You guys are here, what did you have in mind once you found me? How are you planning on completing your mission?”

“We were hoping you would be able to show us things about the human life.” Bart says looking at him hopefully. “After all, you know what you’d be talking about, there’s also the matter of fact no one can understand us except you because of the translator.”

“Yeah okay, I think I’d be able to help you. After all, it’s the least I can do since you saved my life several times. However I won’t be able to be with you all hours of the day, I have commitments to deal with as well.” Tim points out. He would love to help them out but he can’t just drop his life to do so, not that there’s really much going on but that’s not the point.

The three of them nod in unison, clearly understanding what Tim meant. “Any help would be great Tim, thank you.”

They get talking about a few other bits, like what they have discovered since being on Earth for themselves. During that conversation there were a lot of snarky comments made about how underdeveloped humans were, surprisingly those comments no longer annoy Tim, he simply rolls his eyes and moves onto the next thing.

Tim’s broken out of the conversation after Dick nudges him to get his attention. Tim blinks at him, completely forgetting he was even there to begin with. “Tim it’s getting late, we should probably get heading home.”

Tim glances at the clock on his own phone and is surprised to see the time. They’ve spent hours talking and catching up.

After a brief conversation about where they could meet up the next day, they settle on a time and place before parting ways. Once they were out of hearing range Dick puts his attention on Tim. “So they were the aliens who saved you? I didn’t expect to meet them, they don’t look like what I expected them to.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “I have described to you before what they look like Dick, not all aliens are huge and green with tentacles, antennas and multiple eyes.” He certainly isn’t going to tell Dick that there are in fact aliens that look exactly like that.

Dick laughs at his sarcasm. “You know that’s not what I meant. They each have a different language yet you spoke to the three of them with no problems.”

“Yeah that’s because of the universal translator I have planted in my teeth. Its one of the first things they did when they found me. Once it was implanted I was able to understand everything they said, it’s how they all communicate out there.”

The two of them finally reach the car and climb inside.

“So what are they doing here on Earth?” Dick asks as he starts the car up and begins driving them home.

“They’re here because they’ve been sent to do recon on humans, they need to report back their findings to their leaders. While being here they decided to come and find me, they have also asked if I could help them out. Since they saved my life, agreeing to help them isn’t an issue, it’s the least I could do.”

Dick asks him a few more questions about what they discussed, his brother is still put off by the fact they all have different languages and yet they can all understand one another, but on the most part he seems okay with them.

It makes Tim wonder if he should let his family officially meet the aliens, if he did how would it all play out? Communication will obviously be an issue, Tim will have to be their translator but it may be worth considering in the long run. The aliens showing their powers to the family would certainly be interesting and with how private Wayne Manor is, they could get away with it and not be spotted.

Those thoughts remain in Tim’s mind for the rest of the day, into the night and stay with him until the next day when he meets the aliens again. Tim makes sure to keep them all away from too crowded areas (they ended up in the park again) and makes sure he’s prepared for anything that may go wrong. It’s one of the first times he’s left the grounds on his own since returning home and he’s nervous. His anxiety does calm down a little when he finally meets with his friends but he stays alert just in case.

They have a brilliant day together. Tim answers as many questions as he can when they each ask him stuff, he also shows them what he could, stuff that really helps humans in their day to day lives, for example his mobile phone. Alongside that Tim introduces them to the internet. Witnessing them using google for the first time was as amusing as it was painful to watch.

Don’t even get him started about when Bart tried to talk to Siri.

When their day starts drawing to close, Tim’s earlier thoughts come back to the fore front of his mind. In the end he decides to bite the bullet and turns to the aliens.

“How would you all like to meet my family?”

There's a pregnant pause between them and before anyone could reply Tim starts rambling on. “I know that communication may be an issue but we can get around that. I think it would be good for you to meet the ones I spend most of my time with. Not only that, I can then also show you what human family life is like, how homes operate and what gardens can be like. It may be worth considering?”

When there’s more silence Tim winces, curing himself for his eagerness. It’s stupid, of course they wouldn’t like the idea. Why would they –

“Yeah okay. That sounds interesting, of course only if you’re sure about it.” Kon says eventually looking thoughtful.

Tim whips his head around and stares at him. “Really? You want to?”

Kon shares a look with the other two, who nod in response, and turns back to Tim. “Like I said, if you’re sure about it, yeah.”

“Okay, okay…” Tim mumbles now getting equally excited and nervous about this happening. After they agreed Tim called Alfred up and asked the butler to come and pick them up. While on the phone Tim explained to Alfred the situation and how he’ll have company with him. God bless his soul, Alfred took it all in stride. While he seemed dubious about it, he agreed to let them come back to the manor.

Once Alfred arrived Tim took the others to the car and guided them inside. He greets Alfred before diving into an explanation on how cars work.

The journey back to the Manor is a short one and Tim has the fantastic opportunity to watch the awe expression cross his friends faces as they see the manor for the first time. Despite how many places they have travelled to, it seems like this really captures their attention, something that’s truly impressed them and Tim couldn’t help but feel slightly proud of that.

Once they’ve parked up, Alfred goes ahead first, probably with the main intentions of warning everyone what’s about to happen. Tim hovers behind for a while as he lets his friends stare at his home and the surrounding gardens. When more time than necessary has passed, Tim gently nudges them up towards the stairs, saying he’ll take them on a tour later on.

When they enter the manor they’re greeted with the sight of Alfred, Bruce Jason and Cass standing in the hallway watching them come in. Once they were all in Tim closes the door behind them and moves so he’s standing in front of his friends and faces his family.

Tim shuffles uncomfortably in his place, he’s feeling the apprehension of this meeting now more than ever. Taking a deep breath he addresses those in the room. “Everyone I would like you to meet Kon-el of Krypton, Cassandra of Themyscira and Bartholomew of Keystone. These three are the ones who saved my life while I was gone, without them I would have died long ago and never would have returned home. I owe them everything.”

Tim stares at each family member in turn, observing their reactions. Alfred of course is aware of them already and seems pretty neutral, Jason narrows his eyes at the aliens in distrust but doesn’t comment, Cass looks at his friends with curiosity which seems to be on the more positive side of things and finally Bruce seems stoic as ever, Tim couldn’t really tell what he’s thinking.

Eventually the thick atmosphere in the air is broken when Bruce steps forward, eyeing each alien carefully until a smile takes over his face and he relaxes his posture, letting go of what Tim could describe as the ‘alpha’ persona (the one where Bruce tries to make it clear he’s the one in charge and has all the dominance in the room).

“Thank you for helping my son and bringing him home. If I could ever repay you please let me know.”

Of course the aliens could understand Bruce but if they spoke then he wouldn’t understand them. In return to Bruce’s words, they each smile appreciatively and duck their heads. Bruce doesn’t seem bothered by the lack of verbal response, he resumes on as normal.

“Since we have guests how about something to eat. Tim, I’m sure your friends would be interested in trying some of our food?”

Tim glances at the trio, raising an eyebrow in question. They each look back at him and shrug nonchalantly, clearly not bothered either way, or at least that’s Kon and Cassie, Bart on the other hand looks as eager as ever to try food.

Tim turns back to Bruce. “Yeah they’ll eat. I hope you have a lot because Bart will literally eat everything in  the house. He’s a Speedster and naturally eats more than the average person.” Tim laughs letting his adoptive father, and even Alfred, know in advance.

“There’ll be plenty Timothy, no need to worry about that. Now if you would like to follow me, I’ll show you where we will be eating.”

Without waiting Alfred turns around and heads into the depths of the manor. After sending a glare at each of their guests, Jason is quick to follow Alfred. Cass smiles politely and trails behind Jason with Bruce behind her.

The trio glance at Tim, clearly waiting for his cue before doing anything. Tim rolls his eyes and gestures on ahead, “Go, it’s going to be fine. Plus you’re going to absolutely love Alfred’s food, it’s the best.”

“If you say so…” Cassie mutters walking ahead.

Bart is about to speed off down the corridor but Kon catches his arm just in time to stop him from doing so. “Bart. Be careful, this isn’t somewhere you can easily run around in.”

“After we’ve eaten I can show you the gardens Bart, its plenty big enough outside for you to have free reign.” Tim says, knowing the Speedster’s way of dealing with his energy. Bart rapidly nods in response and starts after Cassie, not in a run but certainly a quick walk.

Then it’s just Kon and Tim left. They share a knowing smile. “It’s good to see you again Tim and it’s great to know that you’re still safe.”

Tim grins, feeling warmth rise up inside of him. Before saying anything he gestures for them to get walking, as they do he speaks up. “I missed you guys too. While I don’t particularly miss space and everything out there, I miss being with you three on the ship. I certainly wasn’t expecting to ever see you again.”

Kon shrugs, a sheepish smile playing on his lips. “Well we, or rather I, planned to visit you from the moment our probation was mentioned. I knew as soon as we had free reign again, we were going to come and visit you.”

Tim’s eyes widen at that. So even before they parted ways, Kon and the others had wanted to continue seeing him. “Well I’m glad you’re here, and that you’ll be here for an extended amount of time too.”

When they reach the dining room, they stop just short of the door. From inside loud sounds where being made and Tim dreads what kind of chaos he's about to walk into. It’s just another usual family dinner at this stage, there’s always some kind of drama going on. He turns to Kon with a thought, before he enters the room he shoots him a sly look, unable to help himself. The Kryptonian has no idea what he’s about to be in for.

“I’ve experienced your life Kon, now you get to experience mine. It’s probably going to be the wildest adventure you’ve had yet and that’s truly saying something, I hope you’re prepared.”

As he walks into the dining room, Tim leaves behind a bewildered looking Kon. For the first time since everything had happened, Tim is actually forward to what the future will bring. He knows that ups and downs will happen but he’s also excited to see what’ll occur with his new friends by his side as they learn about his way of life. It’s certainly going to be an experience.

[sagitta-magica-series-glaciales]

As part of @the--sad--hatter celebration I decided to get back into fanfiction writing again. It's been quite a while since I last posted ffs anywhere so please don't judge too hard. (I am open to constructive criticism tho)

I also have no idea how to do a read more on mobile and Google isn't helping. Advice is appreciated!

King's Spear - Regret

Pairing: Loki x Reader (more or less)

Warnings: Violence, blood, cursing, choking and there's a detailed description of a surgical procedure. Just so you know.

Word count: 3366

Working for Tony Stark had its ups and downs. Ups included a very generous pay, flexible work hours and a very chill relationship with your boss. The downs included mostly working alone to keep his penthouse clean and his secrets in general. The staff knows everything and the less staff meant the less leaks of professional and/or private information. You've been a private nurse and housekeeper for a business partner of Mr Stark until your former boss peacefully passed in his sleep. Stark had offer you the position half jokingly half serious and you jumped at the opportunity. Ms Potts had given you an extensive list of tasks but also a lot of explanations. It was a cushy job and you mostly only had to look out for Iron Man parts lying around.

Speaking of, Mr Stark only let you in his workshop to clean it with explicit permission. This was less about industrial espionage and more about you beeing killed by some unfinished prototype. And he had put off giving you permission for quite some time. Getting rid of all the oil stains and renovating whatever wall had to suffer this time took a while. And since Mr Stark was away on some "thing" as he had put it, it would be a good opportunity. But he had been away for two days and hadn't called yet.

"Jarvis, how dangerous would it be for me if I simply started to clean the workshop?"

You had dusted and cleaned everything that was long overdue and were now desperately looking for something to do. Things got boring when Mr Stark wasn't around. You were sitting on the couch in the living room, facing the beautiful New York skyline.

"If I guided you there'd be no danger but the workshops doors only open with Mr Starks permission."

You sighed.

"Fine. Do you have any work for me?"

"No. But I do have a call from Mr Stark for you."

You perked up.

"If it isn't the boss. Do you finally let me in the workshop or should I just take a vacation?" you joked.

"Y/N where are you?!" his voice sounded urgent and worried.

"I'm in the living room. Why? What's up?"

"You'll probably get some dangerous company soon! Hide in the workshop! It's the safest place! I'm on my way and-"

The elevator dinged and the doors slowly opened. You jumped up and blue eyes met yours. A tall, dark haired man accompanied by a group of military looking people stepped out of the elevator.

"And what do we have here?" he chuckled darkly.

You booked it as fast as you could. You heard some yelling behind you, but you didn't turn around. Your steps echoed through the hallway and with a panic you realized that there was another set of steps. You had no idea who these people where and you had absolutely no desire to figure it out. You sped around a corner and saw the workshop doors open. Good Jarvis.

You quickened your steps and when you threw yourself through the doorway you dared to look behind you. The black haired man was dangerously close behind you!

"Jarvis!" you yelled and the doors shut with a bang before the man had reached you. Breathing heavily you stood there staring at the closed doors. A loud bang at it made you jump and shriek.

"Are you alright?" Mr Starks voice echoed through the workshop.

"Y-yeah..." you said trying to steady your voice.

"Listen Y/N, I'm on my way. Loki is powerful but theoretically you should be safe in the workshop."

"Theoretically?" you sounded more panicked that you had wanted to.

"Don't worry. Nothing is gonna happen to you. See you soon."

With that he hung up. You swallowed hard.

"Jarvis, who is this Loki guy?"

"This is classified data but given your situation I'm sure Mr Stark won't mind."

Another bang at the door. You stepped slowly backwards.

"He is the adopted brother of Thor, a god from Asgard. He has attacked many people over the last two days."

"A god?!"

"That does not mean he's invincible, Ma'am."

You laughed nervously. A god was trying to break down the door in front of you to kill you. Just because you were associated with Tony Stark. You should've just stuck being a nurse instead of a housekeeper. What were a few crazy junkies threatening you occasionally in the ER or some grabby old pervs compared to a literal good trying to murder you?

"Careful Ma'am!" you had slowly taken more steps backwards when Jarvis stopped you. You had almost stepped on a piece of armour.

Another bang.

"...he's gonna get through that door, right?" you had asked but you already knew the answer.

"Well when he does you might be able to defend yourself." Jarvis said.

He started to give you instructions and while your hands were shaking you pulled through. It was something you were good at. Even when everything fell apart you didn't panic. You focused on the problem at hand.

Jarvis showed you the surveillance camera in front of the, by now very dented workshop doors.

Loki seemed to lose his patience with the doors and probably you too.

"Don't think you won't pay for this insult, little mortal!"

A shiver ran down your spine. Hopefully Mr Stark would arrive soon. You were done with the preparations and got in position.

You saw Loki raising his staff and blast the doors, through the camera. This time they finally gave in.

You twitched in your hiding spot.

"This game is over."

He slowly stepped into the workshop, his eyes darting around. Searching.

"Oh, how much will I enjoy torturing you in front of Stark."

Riveting. You would wipe that smug grin off of his face. Just one more step...

You pressed a button on the small remote in your hands. The fake wire underneath Lokis foot erupted in a small explosion yanking him off his feet. Now it was on you to grin smugly. You heard him groaning while trying to get up again. Another push. Another small explosion flinging Loki through the workshop. You didn't wait for his reaction this time and ran for the busted up doors. You were almost there when a hand grabbed your shoulder and yanked you back. You flew backwards and your back connected with the workbench making you whince in pain. Before you could regain your bearings a hand closed around your neck. You breathed in sharply and the pressure on your neck intensified. He wasn't cutting of your breathing but he made it quite hard for you to catch some air.

"You are not Starks beloved but I'm sure your suffering will hurt him greatly. And after what you just dared it will bring me great satisfaction to hear you scream."

Loki was dangerously close. He trapped you between the workbench and his body, pressing you backwards. You could feel his breath on your face. Fighting for breath you pressed out:

"Guess the feeling is mutual!"

Your right hand shot up to Lokis face and a beam of energy errupted from the Iron Man glove on your hand flinging Loki off of you.

You ran as fast as you could out of the workshop, throwing the glove behind you. You couldn't take it with you even though you really wanted to. But Stark didn't have a spare portable ARC reactor in his lab so Jarvis had made you connect the glove to the reactor that powered the whole tower by cord.

It seemed like the rest of Lokis forces had left the penthouse at this point. You found the door to the maintenance room for the elevator and punched in the code on the control panel. The door unlocked and you slipped in.

"Mr Stark is close. I think its safe to assume that you're out of the worst for now Ma'am."

You breathed out in relief and leaned against the wall. Your throat hurt and your hands were still shaking. But you had fought and survived. And hopefully Stark would kick Lokis ass hard.

Jarvis connected your phone to the surveillance cameras and thus you were able to watch what was happening in the penthouse. First there was your Boss buying time and being... well himself. Everything happened so fast, before you knew it aliens were raining down New York. You had to go, you had to help the people! But Jarvis wouldn't let you out even though you begged him to.

"Mr Stark gave me specific instructions."

"I don't care! People are dying and being attacked and I could help them!"

"It is too dangerous, Ma'am."

You groaned in frustration. All you could do was wait.

You saw Thor and Loki fighting on the balcony only for Loki to flee.

"Loki is gone now. Can you at least let me go now?"

"...but you need to stay in the penthouse."

"You wouldn't let me go even if I tried." you mumbled when the door unlocked.

Cool air was breezing in through the shattered windows. You looked outside and saw the utter chaos and carnage. You should've been down there, helping those injured! Instead you were stuck here because your Boss thought you were a fragile little maid. Okay, he was probably just worried cause he liked you and you understood his point of view but this was infuriating.

You walked towards the bar. If you ever needed a drink in your life it was at that moment. The last time you had felt this dejected and angry at the same time was shortly before you had quit your job at the hospital. Being a surgical nurse had been tough enough but one of the doctors had made your life a living hell. A Neurosurgeon who thought he was gods gift to humanity and treated anyone he thought lesser than him accordingly.

You scanned the bottles when a loud thud on the balcony made you turn around.

Loki!

You immediately ducked behind the bar. Just when you thought things couldn't get worse things turned to utter shit when the Hulk of all people showed up as well. You peeked over the bar. Lokis was basically giving a speech about how much everyone sucked. Delightful. But before he could get out another word the Hulk grabbed him and threw him around like a rag doll. You hid behind the bar again. Partly as to not attract the Hulks attention and partly cause you didn't want to see what was happening. The sound of smashing flesh on the ground was bad enough. Even if it was Loki.

Things got quiet and with a roar the Hulk jumped out of the broken window.

You peeked over the bar again. Loki was literally smashed into the ground and was only producing a pathetic whining noise. Even as a god all of his bones must've been broken. Suddenly he started to cough badly and spit out blood. Your brain connected the dots instantly. One of his ribs or multiple had probably punctured his lung, thus collapsing it and now blood was probably slowly filling it making him suffocate on his own blood. It was a gruesome way to die. You had seen it before. While coughing up more blood he tried to turn to the side but whinced in pain and stopped. He'd probably die from this.

You stared at him for another moment. Cursing yourself quietly you shot up and ran to your supply closet, getting a pack of disposable gloves and desinfectant. Then you ran back to the workshop to get some small tubes. You hurried back to the living room, grabbed some small towels from the bar, a bottle of water and a knife. And a bottle of whiskey. You gulped hard when you knelt besides Loki who in between coughs was looking up at you.

He was suffering, you could see it clearly.

"W-what are you-" He spit out more blood before he could finish.

"Something I'm probably gonna regret." you answered while trying to open his robes. They were made of leather and even the sharp knife you had picked up had trouble cutting through them.

"I'll heal. Don't bother." he pressed out between coughs.

"Loki, you are literally drowning in your own blood. And I doubt your special healing can move ribs back to where they're supposed to be, or can it? "

He just gave you a defeated look.

"Yeah I didn't think so. You mind?"

You pulled out one of his small throwing knifes that were embeded in his clothing and tested its sharpness on his sleeve. It wasn't sharp enough. Loki seemed to realize what you wanted to do and pulled out another knife from seemingly nowhere. You took it from his shaking hand and nodded. Swiftly you cut through his clothes to reveal a strong and pale chest. Immediately you saw the broken and partly squished ribs underneath the skin.

You poured desinfectant on his chest, Lokis knife and your hands. Then you put on gloves. You breathed in calmly once and looked at Loki.

"This will hurt. I know it seems impossible but try not to cough and lie as still as possible."

He gave you a look of doubt but tried to lay still.

You had seen these kind of surgeries often and helped perform them. But all on your own under these conditions? You tried not to think about it.

You placed the knife on his skin. A mix of desinfectant and blood filling the air. You started to cut. Loki barely twitched. Letting you work on him.

You flipped up a big portion of skin to expose his ribcage and left lung beneath. Two ribs had punctured it. You could see others already partially healing. It was fascinating. You grabbed the first rib and tried to carefully move it back into place. But it had already partially healed in the wrong position. You muttered under your breath.

"Okay, this will definitely hurt." you said and pulled on the rib hard breaking it again.

This time Loki did twitch and pressed his eyes shut in pain.

"And once more." you said pulling at the other rib. He tried not to whince but failed miserably.

"I am so sorry." you said out of reflex. This guy had tried to kill you not even an hour ago and now you where apologizing for saving his life. You pushed all unnecessary thought back. Focus.

You had to drain the lung of the blood. You picked up one of the small tubes you had brought and desinfected it as well. Then you inserted it into the lung and started to drain the blood into one of the towels. No need for you to kneel in blood.

Loki looked at you. His eyes seemed unfocused.

"We're almost done. Don't worry."

You couldn't be entirely sure if you'd gotten all the blood out. But you hoped that his divine healing or whatever would take care of the rest. And all the germs. Desinfectant or not, this was certainly no sterile operating room.

You put the skin flap back and saw it immediately starting to heal itself albeit slowly. It wasn't instantaneous. But still heaps faster than human healing. The other lung seemed to be intact and thus you sat back with a sigh and degloved.

You had actually done it. Mr Stark would probably fire you but after today you might've quit anyways. You drenched another towel with the water you brought and offered it to Loki who was breathing more camly now and turned slightly towards you. He took it and started cleaning himself.

You reached for the whiskey and took a hefty swing. What a clusterfuck of events. You took another swing. Before you could set the bottle down Loki snatched it out of your hand and took a big gulp himself.

"If you want my professional opinion, that's a really stupid idea."

He shot you a look and took another gulp.

"In case you haven't noticed, I seem to have come up with a lot of stupid ideas today."

You had to chuckle. He smirked but then got a very serious expression on his face.

"Why did you save me?" his voice was barely above a whisper.

"I tried to kill you and yet..."

"Maybe I'm also full of stupid ideas. Or maybe I want to see you brought to justice. Or maybe..."

You looked him directly in the eyes.

"Or maybe that's just who I am and what I do. Don't make me regret what I did, Loki."

You didn't know if there was even a shred of empathy within him. But if there was you hoped that your words had reached him.

He didn't break your gaze. Seemingly weighing your words in his mind. With a sigh he sat up properly. Showing no traces of pain or discomfort. He took your hands into his. You were confused but didn't pull away.

"I understand. With these hands you selflessly saved my life. I am indebted to you. And I shall do everything in my power to repay this debt so you will never regret what you did today."

Green shimmering light emitted from his hands onto yours.

"Woah! What are you doing?!"

You tried to get away but Lokis grip was tight. He calmly said "It's an oath. So I shall never forget about my debt."

"Loki, what are you doing?!"

Thors thunderous voice erupted from behind you. You turned your head and the god was already coming closer, closely followed by your Boss.

"Get your grabby hands off of my housekeeper!" Mr Stark ordered.

The shimmer vanished and Loki let go of you. You instantly shot up.

"I do not intend to harm her." said Loki calmy which only elicited a dry bitter laugh from Mr Stark.

"You very much intended to harm her just half an hour ago! Y/N are you okay?" he pulled you behind him.

"Yeah, just shaky."

"And to answer your question brother..." Thor stepped closer towards Loki, anger on his face.

"...I made an oath. I owe this woman a blood debt and I swear to repay her." Thors face fell in shock, while Mr Stark only turned to you.

"What the hell did you do?"

"I.. Eh... Well, I sort of saved his life. He was about to die. It was messy. And well... I am a nurse after all so I..."

You were at a loss for words.

"But I have no idea what he means by oath and blood debt!"

Loki gave you a confused look.

"You said you don't want to regret saving my life, thus I pledged my allegience to you as a proof of trust. Without you I would not exist in this world any longer. As such you have reign over my being until this debt is repayed." he explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What?!" you and Stark exclaimed in utter disbelief.

"That is so not what I meant when I said this!"

"It was not? Then what did you mean?"

Loki seemed honestly puzzled by your reaction.

"That you please don't kill me or anyone I care about!"

"But this could be very useful to us." Thor mused looking between you and Loki. "He has pledged his loyalty to you and thus has to follow all of your orders."

"She's my housekeeper! Certainly not a megalomaniacs babysitter!"

"Well with the oath he is more her babysitter than the other way around."

The two started fighting when the rest of the heroes arrived including the Hulk which kinda freaked you out. Your head was spinning. A blood debt, an oath, an allegience. You had no idea what to think and wished for more whiskey to just wash this day away.

You felt someone coming up close to you. It was Loki, by now in shackles.

"I promise that you won't regret what you have done for me today" his voice full of determination.

You didn't have the heart to tell him that you already kinda regretted it.

[arabellaflynn]

First things first, a bit of administrivia: Those of you who have been around for a while may remember that I run an "advent calendar" for the month of December. The winter holidays are two solid months with a heavy emphasis on belonging and family. I have a lot of things to say about those concepts, most of which are not what anyone wants to hear while they're wrapping presents and roasting turkeys. I queue up a bunch of fun things instead and hole up to drink until January. This year I'm doing things a little differently. While the advent calendar will be running on the public blog -- this year it's folk tales from around the world -- the regular blog entries will be running on my Patreon for anyone who cares to pledge $1 or more. Because I'm sometimes rubbish at posting on a regular schedule, my Patreon runs on a monthly model, rather than per-piece, so if you pledge $1, you'll never be charged more than that. You are, of course, welcome to give me as much money as you want. I appreciate that. Or stuff. I've been eyeing an adjustable dress form that I cannot even remotely afford, so that I can stop draping patterns on myself in the mirror. This is particularly important because the shiny new job I got turns out to not be very shiny after all. The actual job is pretty cool; it's with one of those outfits that runs murder mystery parties, among other things. Events are pretty much an evening of herding cats, possibly drunk cats, around and work out to about $15 an hour, which is fine for a part-time gig. There are, however, a number of problems with this. One is that rehearsals are unpaid. That's normal, to the point where producers will write !!!!PAID REHEARSALS!!!! in the ad if it's the case, and there's only one before an assigned show, but they're up in Malden. Ordinarily I could get up there and back in the Boston Standard Commuting Hour, but right now the MBTA is taking the Orange Line to bits, which means it takes me up to two. In both directions. Three-plus hours of commute for a single 90 minute meeting is right around where I start squawking, regardless of whether the T is your fault. I am responsible for my own costuming. Again, not normally an issue; there is an awful lot of random crap in my closet. The issue is that these guys do not assign consistent roles. They have ten different shows, each with 4-10 parts (of varying genders) I might potentially be assigned to play at any given time. I'd have to go and buy one or more pieces, without reimbursement, on 1-3 weeks' notice, for at least 50% of these. There is no way to request a specific role when marking oneself available for a show, if you even know what show it is when you sign up. Which you don't always, depending on how indecisive the client was when booking. The most egregious problem, however, is the literal lengths they expect me to go to work those $15/hr shows. They asked me if I was available for travel when I was hired. I thought 'oh that's fine, I can go to Rhode Island sometimes'. No. They do bookings all over New England, and they do not pay for rail tickets. They expected me to carpool with my fellow actors to Connecticut, for base pay. If you bumped that an order of magnitude, and we are good enough friends that the road trip would be fun by itself, I'd consider going to CT for a show. I don't even know most of these people, so if they really wanted me there, they'd have to go up two orders and shell out for Amtrak. [I later got an email asking if anyone would be willing to help out a sister troupe by driving down to Baltimore "tonight or tomorrow morning". That is a solid eight hours from where I am. I laughed as I deleted this message. Also the one asking who wanted to do an overnight in Maine.] It struck me as mildly sketchy when they insisted I sign up for the Facebook group, on the basis that most of the communication took place there. It's not unheard of, especially if the company skews young, but that's the first time I've run into it from an outfit that actually has a professionally-assembled corporate portal site, complete with news and scheduling software. My suspicions have been proven entirely correct. While there is the occasional 'we booked more shows! go check the company page!' message, 90% of the traffic on the group consists of people posting selfies in costume, cheering about having done yet another show, a.k.a., their normal goddamn job. I have made it very clear that I am not interested in drinking the Kool-Aid, and they are consequently not calling me back even for the local shows. So the job search continues. I had good luck asking my readers for work-at-home positions last time; I landed at Nokia Maps as a geographical researcher and stayed there until they were sold to someone else. Anyone got any leads? In more pleasant news, I am apparently getting more rats. A friend of mine has two out of three squishy boys who get along with people and each other, but not really other rats. He's going to play musical cages with some new ratlings to get a mischief that doesn't chew on each other (much), and the grumpy pair will come to me for cuddles and spoiling. So I will (theoretically, I hope, if nothing goes wrong) have a proper Ratmas this year, if not Ratsgiving. Critter accessories list on Amazon here. Yay. from Blogger https://ift.tt/33QvbUo via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!

[thistangledbrain]

Day 16!

“Work/school”

Well...EDS robbed me of my ability to work 3-4 years ago, but I can tell you about prior stuff.

I started off going to college right out of high school, but realized I was just burning through money, because I had no idea what to major in - I have *too many* interests, and most of them don’t really translate to a well paying job...not enough to warrant the expense of the education, anyway. If higher education wasn’t so expensive in this country, I would be one of those people who just sort of...collects degrees, though. I daydream of that often...but, thanks to my oldest son, I’m sort of vicariously gaining a bit of higher ed in Physics, one of my *favorite things evarrrrrrr* (but I trip so badly over the math, so idk if I’d ever get far, myself). He sends me pics of his notes, video clips, and when he’s home, we love to sit down while he walks me through all the equations and the processes (and when he explains them to me, it helps him get an even deeper grasp of it sometimes, so it’s good for both of us ☺️). Quantum physics/mechanics and theoretical physics are 🤯 to me, and I can’t get enough! Astrophysics is pretty damn cool, too. One of my favorite things ever is when we nerd out together on this stuff. I remember when he was in high school and first started being interested in it...I was so excited I could barely contain myself (I was already very much obsessed with these sciences), and watched with delight and excitement as his passion grew. I remember he brought home this like 10-15 question beginner physics quiz he took when he first started, that he handed to me. “Can you answer these?” he says, as he hands the paper to me. “Fuck YEAH I can!!!” So I excitedly went down the list - there was only one question I wasn’t sure about (and I think it had to do with thermodynamics but I don’t quite remember)...I just remember HE got so excited that I was already familiar with stuff (like particles and waves), and it was in that moment that we just...gained this incredible connection that still makes me feel all gooshy inside. Physics isn’t the only science that gets me excited, but I’ve written enough about that for now 🙃...

So. Yeah. Maybe someday I’ll win the lottery, go back to school, and probably just stay there LOL...

You guys have already heard me ramble about the Marines, so I’ll leave that part out...

So my work history is similar to my school history, I guess. Rather scattershot. Since I know my keenest interests won’t make me a ton of money (without a degree) or aren’t really necessarily *career* choices, I’ve been fairly comfortable with...idk. Trying things out that I wanted to do, because being rich and having “things” just doesn’t...well, I personally don’t understand the draw, and it has never been a real goal. I’m flying high if I can pay the bills on time LOL...I have to leave the rest of the financial planning to someone else, because I just...don’t...care enough. The things I care about in life *require* money (what doesn’t), but obtaining personal wealth just to have more of it/more “things” baffles me (you can do your “grind” to have your “fat stacks” - my interests lie well outside of material gain, and this is something we just won’t connect on. Your Birkin bag and sweet ride mean positively zero to me as far as how I look at you as a person...except for the fact that I think it’s bizarre for someone to spend tens of thousands on a purse or shoes, and I question their logic lmao). I’m not sure I’ll ever know what it feels like to just want to be rich, and damn near kill yourself to obtain that big house and nice cars and designer clothes or whatever. I like nice things too, but frankly I’d rather actually live my life? I’m not gonna be here long...it makes zero sense to me to break myself for the material gain of “things” (and people who do that, actually upset me a bit. I feel like they’re missing the point....or, it makes me sad to think that their existence is so empty that things like labels and status symbols are what they’re hyperfocused on, what matters the most to them). That being said, I DO enjoy the *immaterial* gains - respect, love, making animals and humans happy and whole, growing my mind, sharing my experiences and knowledge for the benefit of others. This probably sounds way too candy coated and cheesy to believe, but it’s easy to prove through my actions. This is *genuinely* what matters to me.

My first couple jobs were not my speed, but I did learn a lot about how companies run (from an administrative & bookkeeping standpoint), and that’s been sort of my “fall back on” career, since - but it makes me really, really unhappy to be stuck behind a desk, even if the work is fairly interesting or challenging. I’ve also been a horse stable manager, an exercise jockey for race horses (shattered pelvis ended that venture though), worked in an exotic pet store (I LOVE reptiles!!!!), and dabbled in nearly every trade in the construction industry (I am the quintessential “Jack of All Trades, Master of None”)...eventually landing in a position that I was very comfortable with - superintendent/jobsite manager for a smaller residential company. The job was always different from day to day, so I had little time to get bored. I guess that’s the big hangup - i don’t like being bored at my job. (I don’t like being bored, period, but rarely am...even though I live out in the middle of nowhere and don’t have gainful employment anymore. I have tons of interests involving animals, art, and building/creating, plus I love to read and learn. Or take walks through the woods and photograph tiny environments. Train and rehab dogs. Remote train and help people as far away as the UK. If I’m bored, I’m probably just being lazy.)

I’ve realized - and come to learn that many auties share this with me - that working alone or with a very small group of people is ideal. We all have our different strengths and interests, but jobs that keep our brains engaged and keeps us out of “general human traffic” are much preferred. I often wonder how many auties are also actually add/adhd, or if it’s just another facet in our prism. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s both a bane, and a boon, depending on the situation.

You’re HIGHLY likely to come across *a lot* of Auties in STEM fields...or lurking in warehouses and stockrooms, content to be left alone with their thoughts or music while they sort and pack. There are also a crapload of autistics in the creative arts - writing, music, acting, painting, and so on. You are UNLIKELY to find many auties in mundane tasks that require little thinking, long term.

One of my favorite bits from a Temple Grandin lecture was something about how over half of NASA would be gone without autistics, and back in caveman days, it wasn’t the social gabby gabbies around the campfire who were thinking up new tools and weapons - it was us antisocial weirdos off to one side whose brains *just never shut off*. 🤷🏻‍♀️ This is why I struggle to understand the people who think autism is some sort of ...horrible plight that’s descended on the human species. You’d be screwed without us, and I don’t care if that sounds arrogant, because it’s true. We might be weird and make you uncomfortable sometimes, but we do some DAMN cool shit. We just might prefer to do it in ways that don’t make sense to you. It doesn’t HAVE to make sense to you - WE don’t have to make sense to you (and we probably won’t anyway, so why do you keep trying? Try just accepting instead).

I’ve been slowly collecting links to Autie blogs, artistic works, scientific contributions, and so on. When I’m satisfied that it’s a broad cross section of who we are and what we do/contribute to society, I’ll share it...but in the meantime...

We might be more comfortable within certain parameters (like, “can I please keep the fluorescent lights off in my office”), but shoooo lawd, don’t sell us short on anything else. Just cut us loose and let us do our thang. ☺️

[burning-up-ao3]

20 Penguin Thoughts: What’s It Really Like Returning From Injury

20 Penguins Thoughts: What it’s really like returning from injury

March 26, 2019 8:19 AMBy Jason Mackey / Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

NEW YORK — Let’s start with a personal anecdote for a change.

The summer before my senior year playing baseball at Westminster College, I split my kneecap in half, the result of a line drive up the middle that knocked me head over heels and caromed all the way to the dugout fence.

After spending the next six months rehabbing from two separate surgeries, I was hesitant and nervous the next time I toed the rubber. On the very first pitch — a low-and-outside fastball— a shot up the middle whizzed an inch past my left leg.

I threw my glove in the air and jokingly said that was it; I quit.

With opening day approaching, that injury and coming back from it got me thinking about the process of recovering from a serious injury at the NHL level, all the work Penguins players put in to get back on the ice and what it’s like once they get there.

“It almost feels like there’s different phases of it,’ Nick Bjugstad was telling me last week in Nashville. “It doesn’t really set in until a few days later, it seems like. Once it hits, you’re watching your team play. It’s no fun. Obviously you want to be out there on the ice.

“Toward the end, you get anxious to get out there. There’s a lot of excitement. It’s kind of a cycle … but not one you want to go through too often.”

So, what happens when a player gets hurt? Let’s take a look.

2. The hardest part is being alone, several players said.

While everyone who’s healthy is going on road trips, game-planning for opponents and has an actual shot at making a difference, you’re unable to contribute much of anything.

Yes, guys watch the games, but it’s not even close to the same sort of thing. Or even remotely satisfying.

“It is a little bit depressing,” Bryan Rust said. “You come to the rink in the morning. Nobody’s there. You’re kinda dragging your feet around there a little bit. It definitely [stinks].”

3. To combat the monotony, players often focus on small goals, whether that’s incremental increases in what they’re allowed to do or meeting certain benchmarks set by the strength and conditioning staff.

None of this includes being measured by goals or points, the usual stuff. More it’s tracking progress, things feeling the way players would like them to feel and graduating to more difficult drills.

“I think they do a really good job here of keeping that process moving along day-to-day and slowly progressing,” Rust said.

4. If they have to pick one, players would seemingly take an injury that allows them to keep skating versus one that does not.

At least that way, their lungs and legs stay in shape; the feel for shooting and puck-handling is seemingly a little easier to get back.

When you’re rehabbing a lower-body injury, that first skate back can often be ugly. In those cases, it’s probably a good thing nobody’s around.

“That first skate is usually just a twirl, 15-20 minutes to test things out,” Rust said.

“It’s like you’re stuck in mud,” Garrett Wilson added. “It’s kind of a confidence-shredder there for a bit. For the first couple, you’re like, ‘Holy [crap], I’ve been off this long?’ ”

5. Those before-practice skates are typically handled by skating and skills coach Ty Hennes, whose voice is almost always raspy from yelling to push players and keep the intensity up.

The guys love Hennes for this reason.

If there’s one good thing they can say about getting hurt, it’s that even then they’re getting pushed to get better, to meet the goals the team’s medical staff has set out for them.

“We’re really lucky to have Ty,” Matt Cullen said. “Honestly, he’s as good as there is. He’s a really upbeat, positive, high-energy guy. His drills, the way that he skates you, it’s so good.”

6. Nobody would prefer to get hurt, obviously, but Cullen said he’s actually noticed an improvement in his play whenever he’s been out of the lineup for a stretch.

For Cullen, it has allowed him to work on things that he might’ve forgotten about over the course of a long season.

“When you come back your hands and feet often feel better,” Cullen said. “Sometimes during the course of a season you get into your routine, but Ty will take you out there and he’ll work on skill stuff that you haven’t worked on much during the season. Sometimes it can be a good refresher.

“For me, whenever I’ve had some time with Ty, I came back and felt probably better than when I went in as far as handling the puck.”

7. I can relate a little bit to what Cullen is talking about.

Whenever I came back — after that initial pitch — my arm actually had a surprising amount of life. I found my mechanics were a lot better, too, and I paid attention to little details that seemed new.

Wilson, who separated his shoulder last year in Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, liked how there were several people working together, from the top in Pittsburgh to the organization’s AHL staff.

“The strength coach and the trainers kind of work together,” Wilson said. “I think that helps a lot instead of just one guy doing what he thinks. They put their brains together. They go from a health aspect to a strength aspect. That really helps.”

Still, when everyone else leaves for long road trips like the one the Penguins just completed, it’s hard to not be with your teammates, doing what you love so much.

“Guys are getting fired up to go on the road. You’re stuck back at home, knowing that you’re going to get bag skated, it’s tough,” Wilson said. “But it’s part of the job. It takes a lot of mental strength to come back from an injury.”

8-9. Moving on …

Sidney Crosby is on pace for more than 100 points and should get some serious consideration for the Selke Trophy, awarded annually to the NHL’s best two-way forward.

Yes, the two of them are related. Not just in my eyes, either.

“I do think they are related,” coach Mike Sullivan said. “I’ve never been a believer that you have to sacrifice defense to be good offensively and that you can generate offense from playing solid defense.”

I spent some time earlier on this trip asking guys how Crosby is able to use his two-way play to put up points. There are obviously several factors at play here, but here are the most common:

• There’s the direct relation between the two. If a player forces a turnover in the opponent’s defensive end, it puts his team in a great position to capitalize.

Nobody is expecting a turnover. The Penguins might have numbers. The other team is likely on its heels.

“A lot of the highest-quality chances that occur in a game usually occur off of a transition opportunity or a turnover, where the possession changes from one team to the other,” coach Mike Sullivan said. “I think Sid does that better than anyone.”

• There’s also the idea of where the game is typically being played when Crosby is on the ice.

If Crosby’s line is setting up shop in the offensive zone, the opponent has to spend energy there trying to prevent a goal. Defending, theoretically anyway, should be made easier if the other team is only entering the offensive zone at the end of a long shift.

“They go hand-in-hand,” Matt Cullen said. “The way he plays defensively allows him to play more time in the offensive zone.”

• It’s also a a smart-player-who’s-good-at-hockey sort of thing. Crosby has innumerable physical gifts, but his mental capacity is really something else. He understands what he’s doing on the ice and why he’s doing it.

Which serves as a huge benefit here, Nick Bjugstad said.

Before we get to Bjugstad’s quote, I did want to point out that Bjugstad and Cullen were sitting side-by-side when I brought this up in Carolina. Even Cullen seemed impressed by the thoroughness of Bjugstad’s answer.

“He’s on the right end of the puck everywhere he goes,” Bjugstad said. “He creates the puck luck for himself because he’s in the right position.

“As a center, a lot of times you want to go and help. But a lot of times that’s doing too much. You almost have to stop and slow it down, be below that winger breaking out the puck. Otherwise it will come back the other way, and it’s a good chance in the middle for the other team.

“Being patient but also supporting your wingers at the same time is super important, and he seems to do that very well.”

10. Crosby attributed the whole offense-from-defense thing more to execution than anything else. And, truth be told, I expected him to swat my question away like Dikembe Mutombo.

But you also have to put yourself in position to get those chances, and obviously Crosby does a tremendous job of that.

“As far as producing, it comes down to execution and making sure you take advantage of the chances you get,” Crosby said. “I do think it helps when you have the puck more and you’re able to get out of your zone.”

11. Crosby’s season is somewhat baffling to me, in the sense that I fail to understand why more people aren’t talking about it.

It almost seems like his defense is ignored because he’s labeled an offensive player. Then when it comes to that stuff, it’s assumed that he puts up numbers because he’s Sidney Crosby.

I asked general manager Jim Rutherford about that during our chat last Friday in Dallas, and he agreed. He, too, can’t believe so many people seem to be overlooking the season Crosby is having.

“There’s such a high standard set for Sid. When he does something, everybody just takes it for granted,” Rutherford said. “The fact of the matter is not only this year but over the last few years he should be in the Selke Trophy conversation. He has truly become an all-around player.”

12. The NHLPA recently did a study where Crosby was voted as most likely among current players to one day wind up as a general manager.

I don’t know if I agree with it. I could see Crosby going back to Nova Scotia and preferring some anonymity for once or maybe working on the developmental side of the game.

His current GM, though, can definitely see Crosby one day running his own team — if that’s what he wants to do.

“He’s going to be able to do whatever he wants when he finishes playing,” Rutherford said. “He has a lot of years left in him to play. He knows the game inside and out. He knows talent. He’s going to have his choice to do whatever he wants.”

13. Sticking with Rutherford here …

One of the things I asked him was about Erik Gudbranson and why it’s worked so well here compared to what he did in Vancouver.

“Don’t get me going where you guys [media] start with players,” Rutherford said. “I don’t even need to play it out. You guys know how you started off with Jack Johnson and how you started out with Gudbranson.”

I pointed out to Rutherford this story I wrote, although he seemed unmoved. He remains unhappy with how Johnson was treated at his introductory press conference.

“You guys have no point of return on how you started out with him,” Rutherford said.

14. As for Gudbranson, Rutherford said — and I agree — that he simply needed a change of scenery.

I think the culture around the Canucks was probably wearing on Gudbranson more than we knew at the time. Everything he did was criticized, and more was being asked of him than could probably be reasonably expected.

In Pittsburgh, Gudbranson has been appreciated for what he is instead of being criticized for what he’s not.

“He’s a good player,” Rutherford said. “We were aware that it wasn’t working in Vancouver. We were looking for a guy who could come in and play and give some pushback in games where they got a little more physical, bring some leadership and put him in a role where he could be successful. That role that we were looking for got expanded because of the injuries. He was put in a tougher spot when he first got here and handled it very well.”

15. Remember when Rutherford last summer ripped Tom Wilson for running away from Jamie Oleksiak in the playoffs?

Wilson read Rutherford’s comments, and they seemed to set the stage for the Oleksiak-Wilson bout on Dec. 19, the one that ended with Wilson one-punching Oleksiak and concussing him.

When we talked on Friday at the Stars practice facility, I asked Oleksiak whether he had a problem with Rutherford saying what he said. If maybe he would’ve wished for Rutherford to just have kept quiet.

“Rutherford is entitled to say what’s going to say. It’s his team, and that’s your boss,” Oleksiak said. “That’s not going to dictate whether I have to go fight somebody. It’s a new kind of game. I just try and pride myself on being a guy who can make his own decisions.”

16. Have you noticed what Rick Tocchet’s Coyotes have been doing?

Yes, they’re two points out of the final playoff spot in the Western Conference, but that’s better than pretty much anybody expected given the team’s youth.

Penguins players are obviously plenty busy worrying about their own season, but Crosby, for one, has been following what Arizona has been doing.

“Having Tocc here, knowing him and having won with him, I think you probably look at them a little closer than you would if he wasn’t there,” Crosby said. “Seeing the job that he’s done with the injuries that they’ve had and still finding a way to hang in there and having a shot at the playoffs, that would be great for him and great for their team.”

17. You can sense Teddy Blueger’s confidence growing.

When he was first flexed to Evgeni Malkin’s spot, I worried that maybe Blueger was in over his head. I was wrong.

That line has generated plenty, and Blueger has comported himself well. If Phil Kessel buried a few of the Grade A opportunities he had in Nashville, that whole line might’ve been the story of this trip.

“I think just try to play my game — play the same way that got me there in the first place,” Blueger said. “I don’t want to try and change anything and be something that I’m not. Just try and be as consistent as I can be.

18. Credit where it’s due: Many of us in the media were extremely critical of Dominik Simon a few weeks ago, pointing out his lack of goal-scoring.

I still think Simon needs to score more. The Penguins’ whole third line, too.

But lately, Simon has been one of the big reasons that line has been so good. His offensive instincts have been on display, and he’s done a terrific job helping the Penguins break the puck out of their zone.

As a result, Simon, Bjugstad and Patric Hornqvist have enjoyed a ton of offensive chances.

“I think we’ve been playing well,” Hornqvist said. “We’ve been playing both sides of the puck. We’re creating a lot of chances. We haven’t scored that many goals, but if we keep playing the same way, we’re going to get goals.”

19. Number of the week: 40

Since 2006-07, the Penguins and Sharks are the only NHL teams to win at least 40 games in every full season — excluding, of course, the lockout year.

That’s a crazy amount of consistency.

With all the talk in our city over what the Steelers have become, I don’t think we give the Penguins enough credit when it comes to consistently being in the thick of things.

20. Non-hockey Thought of the week: I don’t understand all the fuss over Michigan State men’s basketball coach Tom Izzo.

So he yelled at a kid? And this is a problem?

Some of the feedback I got from people on Twitter was that there are other ways of getting through to kids. I agree. But calm reasoning also doesn’t ensure your message gets through, especially when talking about college kids.

If you send your son to play for Izzo, you know what you’re getting into. I also don’t think he was physically trying to harm anyone.

He’s being intense and he’s trying to motivate players in any way possible. Is that a crime?

Jason Mackey: jmackey@post-gazette.com and Twitter @JMackeyPG.

First Published March 26, 2019 8:00 AM