#it’s a lot different than I thought but it’s really satisfying to try new stuff

[nosnexus]

Not bad for a first shot at Acrylics :)

Gotta figure out who I’m doing next!

[formula1fanfiction]

Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz

Title: All I need is your love tonight

Pairing: Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz

 Characters: Charles Leclerc, Carlos Sainz  

Prompt: Charlos (Charles x Carlos) with bottom Carlos please because we do need it 🧡. As for the prompt maybe something along the lines of hope?

Charles spends a hell of a lot of time in Carlos' room, every race weekend they arrive in a new country, Charles checks into his own room, unpacks his stuff then heads next to find Carlos. Carlos always lets him in with a smile, they aren't lovers exactly but they spend a lot of time together and more often than not, fall in bed together and today is no different.

Carlos is laid spread out on the hotel bed, he's naked from the waist up and looks irresistible, his dark eyes are fixed firmly on the Spanish TV channel. "I want to fuck you Carlos." Carlos head snaps away from the TV to look at Charles. "Excuse me?"

"I want to fuck you?" Charles has been thinking about the perfect way to ask Carlos to top all day and seriously that's all he can manage. Carlos has never specifically said he's only a top but since becoming teammates they fell into that routine Carlos on top, Charles on bottom, he's never had a problem with that, he likes bottoming to Carlos but now he really wants to something different.

"Have you ever topped before?" How cute of Carlos to think Charles just bottoms for everyone. Charles climbs on top of Carlos and pins his hands to the bed, Carlos doesn't even try to fight it, just smiles up at his teammate. "I take that is a yes." Carlos is still smirking, so Charles takes the opportunity to rub their dicks together, there's way too much clothing and little contact but it wipes the smile off Carlos' face.

"Pierre." Charles rubs their dicks together once more, he can feel Carlos' arousal, the Spaniards cock is hardening against his own. "Pierre?" Carlos repeats confused. "I've topped Pierre before." Carlos is fully hard now, the outline of his cock is pressed against his red sweat pants. Carlos nods satisfied. "Okay then, you can top." Charles feels something, disappointment maybe? He didn't expect Carlos to agree so easily.

"Have you ever bottomed before?" Carlos raises his hips and lets Charles remove his sweats and underwear, revealing his hard cock, it springs free and slaps against his stomach. "Not for a long time." Carlos swallows, Charles takes the hard dick into his hand and starts stroking. "I don't blame him at all for this but It started was with Danil in my rookie season when I was with Toro Rossi, he had been promoted to Redbull, we sort of developed a relationship. We were young and stupid and he never prepped me, it was so painful but I thought it was normal I guess? I didn't know sex was supposed to be pleasurable as a bottom."

Charles stops the movement of his hand, Carlos is still rock hard but he looks sad. "We don't have to do this Carlos, you can top or we could just stop all together." Carlos smiles and covers Charles hand with his own and it brings it back to his hard cock. "I want do this with you Charles, I want it be with someone I love and trust."

Carlos didn't I say love you but someone I love and it makes Charles' heart soar. They've never done this before, it sort of feels like crossing a line but right now, it feels right? Charles leans in and presses his lips against Carlos'. There's spark it feels like sunshine, rainbows and full of passion. It feels tingly like a strong bolt of lightning, it feels right. Charles heart is beating fast, he pulls away and Carlos is beaming at him. He's made the right choice and he couldn't be happier.

"I'll make you feel amazing Carlos, I promise." Carlos smiles at him once again. "I know Charles, I trust you." It makes Charles want to kiss him again, so he does. It's soft, it's perfect. Shit Charles is falling hard. "You are being so romantic tonight Charles." Carlos giggles.

Charles removes his own clothing before settling in between Carlos' legs, a bottle of lube in his hands. "We can stop anytime Carlos." Charles says while coating his fingers with lube. "Charles we fuck all the time, it's fine I trust you." That's all the encouragement Charles needs before circling Carlos' entrance with his finger.   

Charles slides his finger in, Carlos is super tight as expected, He stalls for a few moments letting Carlos get used to the sensation. Carlos is laid back into the mountain of pillows, eyes squeezed shut like he's savouring every moment. He looks relaxed so Charles takes that as a good sign. He begins moving his hand, fingering Carlos with gentle, finger thrusts. Carlos sinks his teeth into his lower lip, when Charles starts twisting his finger easily, so he slides a second finger besides the first one and instantly scissoring them. Charles works his way up to four fingers, Carlos is seemingly losing his mind. "Charles i'm ready, i'm not some blushing virgin." Charles rewards Carlos with a quick rub over his prostate before letting his fingers slip out.   

"Fuck Charles, I thought you were maybe going to make me cum from your fingers alone." Charles chuckles, drizzling the remainder of the lube over his cock. "Sorry Carlos, I just didn't want to hurt you." Carlos smiles brushing his lips briefly over Charles' "It's not possible for you to hurt me Charles."

Charles settles in between Carlos' legs, one strong leg wrapped around his waist. Charles has one hand on Carlos' hip the other at the base of his own cock as he pushes inside. Carlos is very tight, despite the magic of Charles fingers, it's almost like his cock is stuck in a vice. Both men moan loudly once Charles reaches the hilt. Carlos feels amazing wrapped around him, almost like it's meant to be.

Charles kisses him again, he doesn't know what's got into him tonight but Carlos' lips are everything. He forces himself to pull away when he feels Carlos visibly relax around him. "Are you ready Carlos?"

Carlos nods, a dopey smile playing on his face. Charles' heart is bursting full of love for this man, there's no words for it, Charles simply can't get enough of him, "I feel so full Charles, so good." Charles starts to move.

It’s nothing short of natural, the rhythm they find. Charles is so used to sitting back and let Carlos do all the work, it's nice hear the little Spanish moans Carlos is letting slip from his mouth as their bodies work together. The pace is slow and it's nice because Charles keeps getting the opportunity to kiss Carlos, muffling his moans.

"I never thought, this would feel so natural." Carlos moans into Charles' mouth, Charles smirks into Carlos' lips and slides a hand between Carlos' legs. Carlos arches his hips off the bed and moan's much louder. "Fuck Charles I don't think i'm going to last long." Charles flicks his thumb. "I wasn't lying when I said i'd make you feel amazing."

Charles can move faster, harder now Carlos has fully opened up around him, the slide is easier now, he angles his thrusts to find Carlos' prostate. "Puta, fuck, Puta." Charles smiles. "There we go." Charles matches his wrist with the intensity of his thrusts. Carlos is falling apart rapidly, luckily Charles can feel his own orgasm building in the pit of his stomach.   

"I think we can come together." Charles speeds up his thrusts, he can't control himself anymore, he's too far gone. "Come on Carlos." Charles barely gets the words out of his mouth, he's coming hard. Charles can see nothing but stars as he spurts his load inside of Carlos. He comes to his senses when he feels Carlos' sticky mess over his finger tips.

Charles crashes on top of Carlos into a messy heap. The room falls quiet for a while, only the sound of heavy breathing fills the room. Carlos pulls Charles into a tight hug and strokes the sweaty nape of his neck. "You weren't lying when you said you'd make me feel good."

"I'm so sorry Carlos." Charles feels horribly guilty when he gets his strength back, he should be the one holding Carlos, cuddling him close. Not the other way round. "Eh?" Carlos looks confused. "I should be the one comforting you." Carlos laughs again. "I don't need comforting Charles, I feel amazing."

Charles rolls off Carlos and lays beside him, he's horribly aware of the messy of cum stuck to their skin. They need to shower but instead Charles leans in and gently kisses Carlos. It feels natural like they are lovers and not just teammates who fuck.

"Thank you Charles, I was really scared after everything before but you made me feel good, made bottoming feel good." Charles beams, he wants to kiss every inch of the tan Spanish skin and whisper I love you over and over again. "I was really worried Carlos, I just wanted you to feel amazing.

"You did make me feel amazing Charles, I love you it had to be with you." Charles risks a look at Carlos, dark Spanish eyes practically burning into his skin. "I love you too." He knows that wasn't the way Carlos meant it, but he's too full of love and emotion to hold it back. Carlos beams at him, he doesn't even look this happy when celebrating a podium.

"I love you like a teammate or I love you like Te Amo." Charles covers Carlos' hand with his own. "I love you in the way I would die for you." Carlos squeezes Charles' hand. "Good, because I feel the same way."

[yuseirra]

An analysis of Aqua Hoshino's character and drive & his feelings towards kana

**oshi no ko spoilers**

I'd been following onk time to time, but I def decided to pick it back up after having read aqua's feelings towards kana was confirmed in the recent chapters.

I was all like YES!! Finally!! About time!! because I thought that was something really obvious throughout this piece. I never saw it any other way. (This is my personal take, no offense on anyone who's thought otherwise!!) I wouldn't say I was entirely satisfied with all the things that happened in between..things were a bit messy. I still felt his character was always very consistent, however.

I wrote my thoughts about him, like one I did with Ai sometime back in May. so this analysis doesn't reflect the new stuff that's came after that.. but I still think a lot of what I've written here still stands. This is how I personally interpret the character and the stuff that's been going on in his heart. I think he's the most well-written character in this series along with Ai.. I was impressed about it when I first got into this series, I hope that will remain until the end

*this was originally written in a different language. It's machine-translated+ edited a little to make more sense

I've heard some spoilers about the development of onk, and I feel I did a pretty job with bringing Aqua's character right in my fan comics of him! It was all on point. I wrote a lot of analysis about Aqua's psychology but it's all gone, I wish some of it were left... Aqua's love for Kana is something that's been hinted at a lot, and I don't think there's much room to believe otherwise. I think it's pretty obvious that he's been in love with Kana the whole time. He'd been acting the way he is because the character is very mentally cornered and in self-doubt that he doesn't deserve to find happiness. In turn, he represses his feelings, but when he becomes a little cheerful, you see him turning his attention to Kana, and when he sees Kana, he's revitalized. If you follow Aqua's feelings, it's very natural that it comes out like this, he has a crush on Kana. I'm proud that I recognized that in the latest development, I'm proud that I recognized it properly. I'm so proud. But there was a lot of plot device and all leading up to it, so…I think it was in vol 10? When he thought he didn't have to take revenge, Aqua smiled relaxedly as if he had been saved for a while and dated Kana, so I think the reason he's trying to take revenge is because of his guilt over Ai rather than it being its true wants. He hates himself for having been unable to save the ones he's cared for, and he's so miserable and tormented that he doesn't care what happens to him. The funny thing is that even though he can't tolerate himself being happy, he's happy when he sees Kana. He feels both good and troubled because he can't help having her brightening his mood up again. He didn't have the heart to fully enjoy those feelings, but as soon as he thought there was no need to revenge, he straight makes a move on kana. The reason why Aqua dived back to continue his vengeance is because he realized that the person he was to revenge was still alive and well.

In fact, revenge is a way for Aqua to inflict sufferings to himself. If you look at his psychology, he doesn't enjoy revenge, but rather wants to be comfortable, and he was mentally exhausted to the point where he thought he would die after he finished her revenge (that's how his vows to revenge acted as his reason to continue living for awhile), but when he met someone he liked (Kana) or someone who cared for him(Akane), aqua starts to realize that he has more to live for. There's also Ruby, the precious child he once wanted to protect in his past life but couldn't. At this point, if Aqua goes through with his revenge, he might actually make himself even more unhappy, because he's going to make all those precious people around him suffer with him if he does. He can't just throw himself away now because seeing them makes him want to live a little longer, wish to be happy.

I think the major deal here would have to do with how the "revenge" will be brought out. That is something that's brought in as the main conflict element of the work. Ai's death is the most powerful event in the story, as it's the trigger, and it has a very strong grip on the characters, and it needs to have a strong grip on the story. I don't think any of the readers would want to see it fizzle out.

However, Aqua… I think he's a well-described character. This guy hasn't changed at all. Heck, he's not even that tough. He's not that relentless or decisive, so I'm not sure if he's really going to cut it for the revenge, and I don't think revenge will make him so happy (That's why I think Kana is the one who should take him. I'm not saying they have to be together, but I'd be happy if they end up walking in the same direction in the future. The reason why I support Aqukana is because they have mutual feelings towards each other and they're happy to be together. I think it would be nice to see that happen, but let's see how things'll play out..) I believe the method aqua COULD work with is to give the person he's revenging more trauma than he's experienced himself, and I think that can happen from conveying Ai's true feelings to the said character. Aqua seems to be aiming for that.

One of the keywords of this work is "lie", but the work seems to imply that there is some sincerity in the lies. Ai says that her lies were also love, and I wonder if something about that will come out again?

Anyway, it seems that the Ai's sincerity was not properly conveyed to the person Aqua wants to get revenge on. When told to them in hindsight, it must be something that can shock them in some way, and it seems that Ai herself wanted for it get across too. That's why Aqua wants to create the movie. I feel it's the right direction for him to do so as well, for it'll be passing on Ai's will.

+ Below are some more thoughts about Aqua's psyche.

Aqua is a character that deserves to be psychoanalyzed. I listened to Mephisto again after a long time, and I think the song really captures the character's psychology. I think the deepest core of Aqua's character is that he can't forgive herself for things that he's not really responsible for, and he punishes herself for that, and that punishment manifests itself in the form of not being able to allow himself to be happy, giving up and letting go to extreme extents. He does not value himself.

I think this is an attitude that is carried over from the character's previous life, and I think the death of his mother during his birth weighed heavily on him. He originally wanted to be a surgeon, but he switched to obstetrics and gynecology, and this was the beginning of his struggle. It appears like he was living a somewhat cheerful life up to this point, but that wasn't all, the guilt that he caused his mother's death was always there. Because before dying and being reincarnated, he mentioned something like "I thought that people like me would fall to hell"<. This was in episode 1, so I wondered just what's made him feel that way. If you review the whole story so far, that's about the only reason I feel could explain him downplay himself like that. He was a doctor. He had a life where he tried a lot and achieved something, being murdered and had it all reaped away, he doesn't seem to be so resentful and angry about this. The last thing he thinks is that he should be next to Ai and watch her over well as a doctor. I don't think this is because he has no attachment to his former life, rather, it's probably because he never placed a lot of value on himself., He didn't have a painful life like Ruby did, and he was a really kind and good person his previous life, so it's not like he needs to be so condescending about himself but he's like that.

This attitude of his continues, and Aqua is a bit obsessive about protecting other people's lives because he thinks he's taken someone else's life just by being born. It only worsens after he fails to save a patient he cared about, and his idol, his mother in this life, dies in front of his eyes. Even though he became a doctor and learned medical knowledge to save someone, in the former case, it wasn't a patient she could save, and in the latter case, he was young to do something and with Ai being critically injured, there was nothing that could be done.

The compulsion that was already there could only intensify, and with the death of Ai, I think this character completely lets go of his reason to live, because he hates himself for being so helpless. I think it's easier for him to take all the blame for the situation (even though it's all external factor, and he's not responsible for it) and take all the resentment and sadness for the situation on himself. If you look closely, you can see that even though he says he's going to kill the person who killed his child, he's not really interested in the person himself: what does he look like, how is he living, does he have a family, what is his psychology, why did he kill Ai, etc. If you look at the lyrics of Mephisto, it's like, "I don't care what happens to me as long as you survive," which is very self-loathing. Aqua is in a very precarious state, and he's very depressed. He tries to convince himself that finding and avenging the one responsible for Ai's murder is his sole purpose to live. He can't allow herself to be happy, because his mindset goes: "Ai's suffered such misery, and I dare be happy and live a normal life? No can do, I couldn't protect her, I don't deserve that". <This thought acts as punishment to his unforgivable self, and it prevents him from fully enjoying other things and living in peace.

There are two main ways that this character can make himself feel better: first, in terms of his own behavior, he seems to feel better by helping others. Even though his behavior keeps hurting the girls' feelings, Aqua is a character who likes to help others. He's good at supporting others, and he's often seen smiling behind their backs after having done so. I think the fact that he felt saved when he realized Ruby was the patient he cared about is an extension of this, and it fits his personality to believe it's enough for him to see the girl he couldn't save is living happily If other people are happy, he's happy. That's his core personality.

The other would be to find something to like and love, which, unlike the act of helping others earlier, is not something Aqua does on purpose, but something he came to naturally find in his new life. And it was Kana who gave this to Aqua.

This is why Aqua likes Kana but keeps her at a distance. He's not supposed to be happy, but whenever he thinks, "I want to be happy…" Aqua sees Kana. Spending time with Kana makes Aqua happy. When he think of happy memories, Kana fills him up. She makes him smile, laugh, and relax. He seems to like people like Kana, and he never gets tired of watching her, just as he enjoyed watching her as a fan. 'I'm going to die, I'm not going to be happy, and she's a celebrity now, and being close to me is scandalous, and there's nothing good about being close to me, and I'm in the dark (laughs), and I'm going to lose my humanity and become a vengeance demon, and she's going to be unhappy with me'. He tries to convince himself he's no good, but he still ends up hanging with her because, well, he likes her and it happens. And then he pushes Kana away, because he thinks there are reasons why him and Kana wouldn't work out. He thinks it's bad for her. This leads Kana to think Aqua doesn't have feelings for her, but she still likes him through all that;;; and it's been like that the whole time. That's why they made so little progress while they have mutual feelings towards one another. Aqua needs to forgive himself first before anything, but on his path of revenge due to him being unable to do that, he's done even more unforgivable things that he thinks are unforgivable, he's really screwed up now. He's put himself in a really tough spot.

The fact that someone who's not that compatible with revenge and whose personality is kind in essence is trying to force it (this ties in with Aqua's characterization two paragraphs above, that he likes to help others. Aqua thinks that he was unable to do anything for Ai, so he can't give up her revenge because he thinks going through with it is for Ai's sake), he wavers, and even though he seems to be calm, he keeps hesitating and stumbling. And while doing so, he's hurt the people around him over and over, making him feel self-deprecating and self-hating. That's a really bad cycle. Aqua actually cares a lot about the people around him. If Akane, Ruby, Kana, or the couple who raised him are in danger, he'll hold off on revenge AGAIN. But he can't give up on revenge either. As long as he thinks about Ai, he won't give up.

The only way for Aqua to be truly happy is to live with people who love him. But he also has to make sure that he's done the right thing for Ai, and I think the key is to really understand what she wanted. If she actually fully embraced the person who murdered her… I think that'd be cruel. I don't think it should be so. Idols are people, too. They shouldn't have to accept everything. Should they refuse to hate and resent others even though they died so unjustly? I don't think the manga will go that way, and I think while Ai always smiled, she had some darkness in her heart. So I'm not sure how this will be resolved at this stage, but that's that.

In this piece, Kana is the one who makes Aqua smile at the moment. So it seems like going in that direction would be happiness for this character, but in order for Aqua to get there, he needs to tie the knot with Ai and stop hating himself. I don't know how that's going to happen, but if this comic is going to have a happy ending, it's going to happen. I don't know how it'd get there, but I don't think this comic is going to have an unhappy ending for Aqua at all. I don't think it's going to end in tragedy. That is all!

[imjustwritingg]

Other than wanting to wrap Hailey in cotton wool and give her the biggest hug, how are you feeling/what are your thoughts after last nights episode?

This turned into an unofficial review of sorts and it got rather long, so I’ll post it all below the cut for those that want to read my thoughts.

I might be in the minority here, but I really enjoyed the episode. I kinda loved it actually, and it might be one of my favorite episodes. I enjoyed everything about it…the writing, the directing, the acting.

Gwen Sigan wrote the episode, but I gotta give her credit where it’s due because it was pretty damn good in my book. It reminded me a lot of her writing days prior to her becoming show-runner and I miss those days so very much.

I think the tidbits of Hailey’s past are coming way too late, but I still really enjoyed getting to peek into her life a bit more. Just wish we could have gotten more of it along the way and not three episodes before the character is gone.

I loved Kevin’s blatant callout to Hailey in the first minute of the episode of how she’s dealing and if running is helping her. He asks this question of “how are you doing…really doing?” with no words and just one look, and then we’re given the answer by Hailey deflecting and avoiding yet again under the guise of wanting a sugar fix. I think that was brilliant. It conveyed everything you needed to know about Hailey’s mental state in one short moment.

No Voight in the episode was such a gift.

Hailey being in charge and leading this particular case was the right move and she handled it so well. I’m bummed we probably won’t see her leading her own unit someday.

Also back to the no Voight thing just for a moment to say that it’s interesting to see how the dynamic shifted with the team versus him not being around and Hailey being in charge. The team felt lighter to me, like in the sense that they weren’t on edge, walking on eggshells in a way. Everything just felt calmer. There was still an intensity and an urgency to solve the case, but rules were followed, there was no off the book cowboy bullshit, and it felt like everyone followed Hailey and trusted her, whereas with Voight they were obeying orders that were barked out to them. I don’t know. It just felt really different and so very satisfying to me.

I love Kevin and Kim’s ability to communicate with one another with just one look between them. Makes me think of the early days of them being partners and being on patrol. They still work so wonderfully together.

This case was sick. A mother doing that to her own child is demented. Where these writers, and Gwen specifically, come up with these ideas is beyond me, but someone should probably do a wellness check on her. Like girly needs some serious therapy and R&R.

Josephine Petrovic. I had some hesitation with her at first as you usually do with a new character as you try and suss them out, but I’ve gotta say, I like her. I like her and I hate that I like her and I hate that she only just came onto the show because I would love to see what happens with her if she were to stick around, but I can’t watch this show without Tracy or Jesse — mostly Tracy — but neither of them? I just can’t do it. I have some other thoughts on Jo, but I will save them for another ask I received.

I obviously saved the elephant in the room for last…Jay. I really don’t think the mentions and nods to him in this episode were “bad” in any way because it’s stuff that has already been said about the character…Gwen’s version of him at least, but I do think there is a reason why he is being brought up and why there are so many nods to the marriage. Hailey insisted she wasn’t angry with him in the premiere. She signed the divorce papers, sent them off, and that was that and she washed her hands of him. Except she didn’t. Because she is angry, she hasn’t moved on in the year and a half he’s been gone now, signing the papers didn’t give her any closure…hell, even him signing the papers didn’t give her any closure, (I will die on the hill that he only signed them because it’s what he thought she wanted). I personally do not think she will get any closure whatsoever if she doesn’t have a conversation with him, if she doesn’t confront him and all of it head on…the anger and resentment and confusion and the love that is still there. You can’t turn that shit off. You can’t just push it away and be like, “okay, I’m done with you now, goodbye.” Life doesn’t work that way. Emotions don’t work that way. Grief sure as shit doesn’t work that way, and I feel like that is the stage Hailey is stuck in right now. Grieving the loss of Jay and her marriage and stuck in a limbo that she doesn’t know how to navigate on her own while dealing with childhood trauma that she actually isn’t really dealing with at all. And she is without a doubt on her own. That is the one thing that has been made clear this season. She has no family, not any friends other than co-workers, and right now, she doesn’t have Jay. I respect the “independent woman, gonna stand on my own, I don’t need anyone” mindset, but I don’t agree with how we got here and I also don’t fully agree with the notion that she doesn’t need anyone because everyone needs someone. You can’t do life alone. You need someone in your corner, someone by your side, someone who gets you in ways you don’t even know yourself, and for Hailey, that person is and will always be Jay Halstead. I think she will realize she needs to get out of Chicago like her brothers, like Jay, like Will, and I hope that wherever she ends up, Jay is there waiting for her and the two of them can just start over without Chicago and their past looming over them like a dark cloud. And for the love of God, let them both go to therapy…together and separately.

Brenna Malloy directed and it was just…perfect. True cinema if you will. The close-ups of the actors’ faces during certain scenes and how the camera would pan to them at just the exact right moment for a reaction, the no background noise and intentional pauses during scenes that allowed moments to feel heavier and more real, the ending shot of Hailey and her teary eyes…I feel like it was a story that was so delicately handled and crafted by Brenna, and I’m just really impressed.

Tracy Spiridakos. I mean, what more even needs to be said? The woman is a powerhouse. It always amazes me knowing how much of a goof she is on set and then you watch an episode like this and it’s just like…WOW. Her range of emotion and the way she makes you feel every single one of those emotions is truly something that needs to be studied. You cry with her, you smile with her, you laugh with her, but the biggest thing is you feel for her character, and I think that is something that not all actors are capable of doing with an audience. Tracy knocks it out of the park, across the highway, into the next town every time, and her execution is consistent every time as well. No one is doing it like her, and I love and respect the hell out of that woman and her talent.

I think the same also needs to be said for Bojana Novakovic. I have been surprisingly impressed by her and kind of adore her. I’ve really been enjoying the character of Josephine Petrovic and I hate that she’s only coming into the show now right when Tracy is walking out the door because Bojana alone is incredible, but her and Tracy together? It’s like magic to me. Their chemistry as scene partners and the way they bounce off each other is absolutely insane, and then their ability to pull you in and keep you locked in…ooof. I think it’s something special and I’ve really enjoyed seeing them together on-screen.

As for how I feel…

I feel good? Okay? The episode didn’t do much for me in the grand scheme of “what is Hailey gonna do” or “what’s gonna happen” because we already anticipated her leaving Chicago. That wasn’t ever in question. But the actual reason for Hailey leaving is still muddled to me, even more so because she hasn’t resolved anything in her life. She still has these demons, a past filled with trauma she hasn’t found peace with, she has no closure with Jay, she has questions and zero answers, and she is already and literally running from her problems.

So, is she supposed to leave Chicago and start over somewhere and her problems are just gonna go poof? Magically disappear? Because that’s not how that works, and I think that would be yet another injustice to the character and more lazy writing. I do think the episode (finally!) laid the groundwork for Tracy’s exit, but it should have started in episode 1, not 10. Tracy gave them an entire season to wrap up Hailey’s story, and I feel like they wasted so much time and it’s gonna be another rushed exit once the curtain falls. It’s not that I’m surprised in that regard, but I am disappointed (again!) especially considering how much of a fuss Gwen made about “it’s so generous of Tracy to give us a whole season.”

If Gwen’s plan was to make Hailey’s exit about her family and her childhood trauma then the seed should have been planted long before now, and Jay shouldn’t still be a sore subject for her. I think we’re in for a really emotional ending to the season, not just for Hailey, but for the first time since season eight I’m actually looking forward to a finale again.

In conclusion and a very long story short…I loved the episode, but Gwen Sigan is still on my shit list.

[milksnake-tea]

Okay so. Hi again. I finally see your prompt stuff on the event and thought those were examples not the actual questions we could ask. I'm so sorry 😭😭😭😭😭 so here are my prompt hc questions:

How good do you think Luocha is at cuddling?

What is he like in love?

And what are youe general hcs about him?

That's all!! I hope you have a great rest of your day 😭 sorry I caused sm trouble

- NV

NO ITS OKAY BYE I GET IT IT CAN BE CONFUSING LOL ITS FINEEEE ALSO !!! technically the prompts are bothh, u can ask them and u can ask other stuff too !!

ANYWHO LUOCHA !!!! MY WIFE HERE WE GO

1. What are your general hcs about them?

I'll say this first and foremost, Luocha is a brat and he welcomes that title with pride. He just always has to have the last laugh, he'll taunt and tease you in that smooth, deceptively innocent voice of his. You could have him pinned to the ground with a sword at his throat and he'd have that self-satisfied smirk as if this was his plan all along. Luocha's a flirt when he wants to be (which is almost all the time), he's just also really good at appearing civil during it all. Enemies to lovers? No, enemies and lovers. Heck, you don't even have to be lovers for him to mess with you - Sushang knew him for five minutes and he was already sassing her up.

6. What do you think Luocha is like in love?

turns back to my notes uh BUT !!! I wrote some of it back in this post, but if I were to expand on it, there's a very big difference on how Luocha acts when he's attracted to someone, as opposed to when he's in love with them. You'll have to prepare for a slow burn though, because Luocha (like 60% of all HSR men) has walls upon walls around his heart. He's someone who constantly wanders the cosmos and rarely settles down for even a second. When he's attracted to someone, he's like how I described above - provocative, teasing, smug and flirty. A little shit. But when he loves someone?

Luocha doesn't hate the way he feels around you, but it still scares him, even for a little bit. He's still teasing, but he softens around you, and by a lot. Sometimes, when the air feels a little too empty without his prattling, you'll turn around to find him staring at you, taking in every little detail about you. When he realizes you've noticed him, he only gives you a little smile before turning away, leaving you confused. His fingers are always intertwined with yours, and by the Aeons, is he protective of you. If he even hears that you're in the vicinity of danger, he's immediately running over regardless of what he's doing currently. Luocha isn't that much of a fighter himself, but when it comes to you, he'd gladly draw his sword.

10. How good at cuddling is Luocha?

He's uh. He's definitely new at it BYEE I honestly don't think that despite his personality, Luocha has much experience on that kind of intimacy. It takes a lot just to convince him to lay down with you and just hold each other, but once he settles in, he finds that he rather enjoys it. Luocha also prefers to be the one being held rather than doing the holding, so he'll snuggle right up into your chest or your neck and just lay there. Feel free to play with his hair too, he loves it when you massage his scalp or run your fingers through his locks. If he's not busy trying to not fall asleep, he'll talk about his day or ask about yours as you snuggle together. I'd give him a solid 8/10; he's a bit stiff and awkward the first few times, but he'll eventually melt into it <3

2k follower event if you want to participate !!!

[probably-writing-x]

Just One of Those Days

Summary:

Warnings: just a whole bunch of fluff

Author’s Note: i’ve been running low on creativity the past few days so i hope you still enjoy this <3 requests are always open xoxo

———

You knew as soon as you woke up that it wouldn’t be a good day. It was the second day of your period, meaning your hormones felt like they were all over the place, your torso was in constant pain from cramping, you had a headache that you couldn’t shake, you were hungry beyond what your normal food could satisfy, and you wanted to sleep and cry all at once. Typical, right?

Drew had already left, and he told you he’d be on set all day today. You’d be at home on your own on a day you really didn’t want to be. But that wasn’t his fault. You had to remind yourself of that.

You change into your baggiest pair of joggers and one of Drew’s hoodies, the clothes making you feel like you had shrunk into them. That’s all it feels like you have the energy to do, flopping down onto the couch and turning the TV on. It’s all the shitty programmes at this time, so you switch to Netflix and binge watch a show you’d seen five times already.

Drew texts you at five saying he’s going to be late coming home and asks if you want anything at the shop. You’d learnt already today that you had no good food in the house, so you ask him to pick up some snacks - though couldn’t make your mind up on exactly what you wanted. You drop your phone back onto the couch underneath you and turn back to the TV show, rewinding to watch the scene again.

~~~

An hour or so later, you hear Drew’s keys in the door, the rustle of a paper bag in his hand.

“Hey baby!” He calls out, “I got us dinner at the shop - I was thinking grilled chicken salad.”

You groan and turn your head into the pillow underneath you.

“Everything okay?” You can hear the frown in his words.

“I just thought we could order tonight,” You push yourself up to sit on the couch.

“Oh, well that’s okay, we can order, this stuff will last for tomorrow,” Drew nods, setting it down on the table in the kitchen before walking over to you in the lounge.

He bends down over the side of the couch to kiss you and you return the gesture quickly.

“What’s wrong?” Drew frowns, sitting down on the coffee table in front of you so that he could face you.

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” You shake your head, “How was work?”

“It was good, pretty busy day actually. I was filming with the rest of the cast a lot today so it was so much more fun,” He smiles, “How was your day?”

Your stomach was grumbling and your eyes felt tired and you wanted to order a takeaway and go to bed. But your boyfriend was home and he’d bought you snacks and he was asking how your day was. And yet you couldn’t think of anything more than wanting to go to bed and shut off from the world for a day.

“It was fine.”

Drew frowns at you, resting a hand on your knee, his thumb brushing over the material of your joggers, “Have I done something wrong?”

You shake your head, “Just tired.”

“Alright, well let me order us some food, and you can pick the film we watch, do you want a drink or anything?”

“I hate picking the film, I never know what we should watch.”

He laughs and stands up, “Alright, you take my phone and order whatever food you want, I’ll put away the groceries and then pick the film. Is that a better deal?”

You nod and he hands you his phone from your pocket. It lights up with a photo of the two of you on holiday, on the beach. But all you can focus on is the way your body seems to feel so different now from the way it looked there, and it boils a new sense of irritation inside you - one you try to dismiss.

“They didn’t have the chips you like at the store so I got the other flavour instead,” Drew mentions as he empties out the grocery bags, stopping as he looks up to see you.

You’ve got the hood of his jumper tugged up around your head, like you’re disappearing inside the clothes, your hair poking out from either side around your face, your shoulders slumped.

He laughs gently, stepping around the kitchen island to see you, “You look adorable. C’mere.”

Drew envelopes his arms around you, his chin resting on your hair.

“Just having a bad day?” He asks, tightening his arms around you.

You hum in agreement against his chest, burying yourself into him, “I forgot the end of your phone number and it’s asking for it to order the food.”

Drew chuckles again, “Alright, it’s okay, I got it, how about we just watch The Office tonight?”

You nod and pull away from him, letting him press a soft kiss to your forehead before you go back to the couch, Drew watching behind you as you go.

He comes into the lounge a few minutes later, telling you that he’s ordered the food and that it shouldn’t be more than forty minutes. Your stomach grumbles at the thought of waiting. Drew outstretches an arm and you slip into his hold, your head resting against his lap. He smooths a hand over your hair, running his fingers through the strands and massaging your scalp.

The two of you stay like that until someone buzzes at the flat and Drew gets up to go and collect the food. He comes back with chinese takeaway boxes for the two of you and you sit on opposite sides of the couch to eat, your feet curled up underneath you.

You’re not sure why it comes over you so quickly, but it’s like as soon as you open it, the emotion simply overwhelms you.

“What? What is it? Did I do something wrong?” Drew frowns, setting his food down to divert his full attention to you.

You shake your head, tears filling over your eyes, trying your best to avoid them falling over your cheeks, “No, no, I’m fine.”

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Drew continues, his brows furrowing.

“I ordered the wrong rice,” You stare down at your food, a tear rolling over your cheek, “I wanted egg fried rice and I ordered the wrong one.”

Drew smiles, squeezing your thigh, “Take mine, I’ll have this one. Is that okay?”

You sniff and he swaps the boxes over like it’s nothing, leaning back into his seat and turning back to watch the TV. You carry on eating the rest of your takeout, it slowly starting to ease the clench of hunger in your stomach. Though, it doesn’t take long before you realise what episode of The Office is playing, the one where Pam’s certain she’s not enough for Jim - the scene always made you cry.

And today is no different. Your shoulders shake as you start to cry, your chopsticks left discarded in your half empty box of food as your vision blurs from the liquid pooling in them.

“Your food’s not good? They forgot part of your order?” Drew guesses, grabbing a tissue from the box on the coffee table and handing it over to you, “What’s happened?”

“It’s you,” You sniff, wiping your eyes with the tissue.

“What? I didn’t do anything,” Drew laughs a little, “I’m just breathing over here.”

“You picked this episode,” You sniff, “This always makes me cry.”

Drew laughs and sets your food boxes down, taking both of your hands and pulling you into him, wrapping his arms around you, “Okay, so I’m guessing this is about to be a bad few days instead of just a bad day. Do you need me to get you anything or do you have enough?”

“I have enough,” You mumble, tucking your head against him.

“Okay, that’s one good thing,” He runs a hand up and down your back, “How about we finish our food, we turn off the TV, I’ll get a hot water bottle ready for you, and we can just stay in bed. I’ve got tomorrow off too so we don’t even need to worry about getting up.”

You nod against his chest and feel him tighten his hold around you, pushing back the hood over your hair to kiss you a few times, again and again until you’re laughing in his arms.

“There she is,” Drew grins as you pull away from him enough to look up, “Feeling a bit better?”

You nod again and kiss him quickly, moving your head to rest against his shoulder instead.

“Okay we can stay here for a little longer.”

[pet-pet-peet]

Can I’m have the dorm leaders x male reader who have a rare sickness that let him only eat desserts nothing else vegetables meat fruits nothing if he eat will appear strange stain on his skin and start to spill blood over his mouth headcanons

Omg I wish I could eat desserts all the time..

Also, I casually involve Sam because honestly he’s a cutie and no one gives him attention

I am trying to go through my drafts and post the ones I had done, this will not be inspired by canon!

Tw: Description of prior mentioned food sickness/allergic reaction like symptoms

Pairing(s): Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus x male reader who can only eat desserts (separate)

𝕽𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖑𝖊

He thinks it’s a bit odd that you eat so many sweets all the time, surely it isn’t good for you!

He holds an intervention over dinner, where he serves you a healthy dinner for any other human

You look at it, then deny it while you listen to his concerns, which makes him sigh and keep explaining his concern

You tell him about the illness you have, that there’s no way for you to eat anything else, and he seems to understand..kind of?

He definitely asks a lot of questions, since he’s never heard of the such before; but when he’s satisfied, he’ll make sure you have a healthy amount of sweets at your disposal

𝕷𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖆

He’s very confused, but he doesn’t mention it at all; not until he notices that you deny any other food

He’ll ask Ruggie to bring some for you every now and then, and you end up just giving it away to someone else all the time

He’ll ask you why you deny literally everything that doesn’t have a sugar content, and you tell him pretty plainly that you can’t eat anything other than sweets

He doesn’t really do anything about it after, figuring that if you were lying about it you would cause it to backfire on you eventually

Accepts it more once he notices you don’t have any long-term effects, and you seem to be very healthy so he doesn’t care

𝕬𝖟𝖚𝖑

He’s been through a lot in regards to his weight, so he’s a bit cautious about calories and the kind of food he eats

He’ll probably think you weren’t being very honest with him..so he blended a bunch of stuff together that had nutrients and proteins he thought you needed

The poor thing was so scared when you started coughing blood, and when your skin started swelling and turning red-

Desperate, he takes you to Sam in hopes that he has some sort of cure or remedy in stock; luckily, he did

He apologizes profusely and promises he won’t do anything like that again, getting you all of the sweets you can eat to make it up to you

𝕶𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖒

He never questions you and accepts it at face value, he trusts you completely!

He makes sure the kitchen has all the ingredients necessary to make you whatever dessert or sweet you want to try or that you like

Makes you new desserts to try that he grew up with in the land of Scalding Sands, he likes being able to see how you react to them

Always has a dessert table just for you during his parties

Fine tunes his ability to sniff out poison for anything you can’t eat, too, as an extra precaution

𝖁𝖎𝖑

He’s very sus, but he’ll roll with it if it makes you happy and as long as you don’t seem to be crumbling in front of him

He does at one point do an oopsie, as he’s under the assumption that anything with sugar is okay for you to eat

So he decides to make an extra amount of his morning smoothie, just so he can share it with you!

He also panics, drops his smoothie all over everything when you cough out blood and swell up

Sam coming in clutch again to help a dying boyfriend due to his poor, distraught boyfriend’s mistake

𝕴𝖉𝖎𝖆

He doesn’t question you, either, just shrugs and says he’s fine with it since it’s how it is

He’ll try to do research on it when he can, though; it’s hard to find a lot because of how rare the disease is

He makes sure to keep snacks for you stored in his room when you pull all-nighters together

Might do some research into different desserts you’ve been wanting to try, then asks Trey if he can make them for you

Very supportive, especially since it gives him an excuse to stock up on candy

𝕸𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖚𝖘

He’s actually surprised; it’s very rare for him to meet someone with a condition he’s never heard of!

Might ask Lilia if he knows anything about it, but that’s an accidental curse as it influences the old fae to start cooking for you-

He likes to eat ice cream with you! It’s his favorite food, and it’s something you can indulge in together

Likes trying your favorite foods, some of them he’s new to since they’re not in the Valley of Thorns

His highlight is always when he’s able to sit under the stars with you, some sort of dessert in both of your hands; it lets him feel like a kid again

[sincerely-sofie]

Hi! This may come across as a dumb question, but I wanted to write my own PMD:EoS fic, but I’m kind of lost on how I want to organize my thoughts and the plot. Additionally, I get new ideas and then I end up struggling with what I want to do. How did you organize things for your story?

This isn't a dumb question at all! It's something I've struggled with for a long time as a writer, and I'd be happy to share what I've come up with to solve my fight with story organization! I’ll try to speak coherently, but this is something I’m really passionate about, so I might ramble a bit, haha. Keep in mind that this is what works for me, and what will work for you may be very different. Take from this post what serves you well and ditch the rest :> 

Organizational Tools

You can use pretty much anything to organize your story— I’ve used everything from loose printer paper in storage clipboards to expansive Google Docs that are hundreds of pages long in the past. But what I’ve found that really works for me is an app called Notion. You may have heard of it— it’s really popular with productivity enthusiasts and small business owners, but it works like a dream for organizing creative projects! There’s a bit of a learning curve, but you can find a lot of templates out there for free that work really well if you don’t want to set things up yourself.

This is how my Notion page for TPiaG was set up:

The “Cheat Sheets” dropdown list was full of character sheets, links to Bulbapedia articles I’d refer to while outlining or writing, and also my completed outline. “Fun Stuff” was full of memes and jokes about the characters, an empty page that I’d start filling once I received kind comments on my fic, as well as ideas for additional stories relating to the AU— stuff like oneshots and possible sequels or diverging AUs. Fun fact: this is where I first wrote down my idea for The Present is a Gift: Paradox Edition AU!

“Chapters to Write” and “Chapters I’ve Written” were dropdown lists where I divided my outline into little sub-dropdown lists in “Chapters to Write”, and everytime I wrote a chapter, I would move it over to “Chapters I’ve Written”. Nothing is as reassuring when you’re stuck in the middle of writing a nearly 60k word fanfic as seeing the chapters slowly migrate to the right.

Organizing the Story

Outlining is a big part of my organization process, so I’ll be talking a fair bit about it. The first part of any story is your premise / core idea (it sounds like you’ve already got some of your own, so I won’t discuss coming up with those). The next step is brainstorming what you want to revolve around that premise. I already knew the characters fairly well, so what I did for TPiaG is write out a bunch of ideas for scenes on scraps of notebook paper and start arranging them on a table in different ways. I eventually settled on an order of events (many of which ended up cut for clarity in the actual fic), and then I started structuring them into chapters. 

How I structure chapters is inspired by the Kishotenketsu structure that is used fairly often in Asian storytelling. I divide each chapter into 5 parts: an Introduction that provides a starting point for the chapter, Development that builds on and adds context or tension to the introduction, a Twist that causes a new perspective on either the situation, characters, or something else in the story, a Resolution that helps wrap things up in a satisfying way, and then a Hook that leads the reader to want to read the next chapter. This is a structuring method that works way better for me than the Three Acts or the Hero’s Journey— I prefer the stronger focus on character vs. plot— and so I try to use it as often as possible. Here’s an example from my outline (if you’ve read TPiaG, you may notice some differences between it and the actual published chapters of the fic! It’s chapter 4 instead of chapter 3, for one thing!)

Organizing Characters

I’ll be honest— I didn’t fill out character sheets like I should have for this project. I kind of just went with the flow as I wrote them. Twig and Grovyle are the only characters who got sheets at all, and Grovyle still only got a half of one. However, I do have a blank copy of a character sheet I can share as reference!

I think most of this is pretty self-explanatory— but if anyone wants clarification on anything or what goes into the individual note sections, let me know! This is what the topmost part of Twig’s character sheet bio looks like: 

The Torment of the Human Mind, or: How to Deal with Idea Overload

This is an ongoing struggle for me. I’ve mentioned having ADHD in the past, but it really turns idea generation and shiny object syndrome into a purgatory of unspeakable proportions. Before TPiaG, I had never finished a creative project because I would constantly ping-pong back and forth between newer and funner ideas, inevitably abandoning WIPs, come back to them for a few weeks at a time, and then dart off to the next thing. This feels awful because you never finish anything when you’re stuck in this cycle, and having all those ideas as open tabs in your brain is exhausting. 

My greatest advice for figuring out what you want to do and then doing it? Figure out a fun idea— maybe not the funnest idea, but an idea you enjoy and can create with your current skills and a good helping of hard work— and then commit to it with a story priority hierarchy. Every time you want to work on another idea, you have to work on the idea you committed to first for 30 minutes (or a different block of time, whatever works for you!). After that allotted time is up, you’re free to work on whatever other projects you like— but you have to start at the top of the priority hierarchy. That way, you still get work done on your #1 project, but you’re not restricted to it. 

Alternatively: Write until that priority project is done. You can make notes on ideas, you can make Pinterest boards for them, and you can make playlists— but you can only write for your priority project. I’d recommend doing this with a deadline in mind. Something like Camp NaNoWriMo or a similar month-long challenge. Novelty is an important part of my workflow! I get it. But for some people, bouncing back and forth between ideas is detrimental to their ability to focus / write, and committing to a single project at a time is extremely beneficial. I thought that I was someone who needed total freedom to work on any of my projects, but it turns out that being handcuffed to a project and a word count goal for a month was exactly what I needed to finish my first ever complete manuscript.

Yikes, this was a lot. I hope I answered your question well enough. If not, ask again and give me another shot! I love talking about creativity, and I would be overjoyed to help you create however I can.

[blue-howlite]

I don't really know what else to say, but I really like your work! Live, Laugh, Forgotten Hill :3

AAAAAAAAA THANKS I'M HAPPY YOU LIKE MY STUFF

And oh my gods I've quickly scrolled down your account and there's so much FH content I might implode, ALSO YEAH WHY DOES ETHAN HAVE ONLY FOUR FINGERS???

As a curiousity I checked Night of mischief walkthrough to see his child self and you can't see his hands too clearly but it seems like he has some missing fingers there too? Someone correct me if I'm wrong, I might replay the game just to see the images at a hopefully better quality than YouTube.

This is fueling the theorist in me because what if the reason he's so hell-bent on his research and "upgrading" is that he was born with only four fingers on each hand, thus internalising the idea that he was defective? And since he can't exactly operate on himself to fix it (he needs to use both hands at the same time to operate, without even considering issues with anesthesia) he's projecting his wish to "fix" himself onto others?

That would be similar to my theory with Nathan and his abandoment issues and his passion for puppets. They would both be projecting an internalised idea of "I'm wrong" (for Nathan because their mother left, for Ethan because of his birth defect) onto those around themselves.

In Run run little horse we see Owen interacting with and guiding Nathan in the ritual with Berry, but Ethan doesn't appear once despite literally living with them, which could point us to the fact that their father put more expectations on Nathan and neglected Ethan. Like, unlike all the others Ethan doesn't even have his own memento game, his child self only appears in Night of little mischief. It might be a stretch... but is it really?

When a child has any sort of abnormality, it's instinctual for the parent to ignore them and invest more resources into the "normal" child; we see this both in human society and nature. The concept of special needs is kinda new after all, and even nowadays not everyone is willing to put in the effort to give their kids what they need if it's anything out of the socially accepted norm.

So for someone from over a century ago, the "normal" thing to do would be to invest more energy in the "healthy" child. But neglected children don't dissappear, and they'll often just try harder to earn the same "worth" their siblings have in their parents' eyes. Add to that any sort of physical defect and an inclination for a field that's supposed to help others (that also happens to be the same field your neglectful parent works in) and you have a projecting overachiever who thinks he has to become his parent to be worthy of affection.

In game I've always thought Ethan was "softer"/less hostile than Nathan, in many ways. And there's a lot of interesting details about the twins - Ethan works in a sociosanitary field (with his own twist to it alright) while Nathan is in the entertainment field (also with his own twist to it).

One makes himself "useful" while the other tries to make people "satisfied". Different ways of interacting - and thus connecting - with people speak volumes about one's childhood and upbringing. If Ethan had to struggle to get his parents' attention and so had to make himself worth of notice by making practical progress, Nathan often had the spotlight on himself by doing very little and so was raised with it. As an adult, Ethan found ways to make himself needed by others, while Nathan kept chasing the spotlight and attention. This last thing also feeds into the "Nathan wants to be liked" thing I said some time ago, which is based on the fact that he turned a guy that didn't like his show into a puppet, like the petty little crow he is.

This is A LOT of speculation hanging by a thread thinner than Ruth's hair, but I am SO into it! Thanks so much I missed making silly little theories like this and probably would have never stopped to do it if you hadn't sent this to my inbox! <3333

[donnerpartyofone]

Even though it pains me that my expensive new phone's camera refuses to focus on an entire close-up image, even a flat one, and I am assured by many forums and reddits and the like that I'm doing it right and this camera just sucks, I will still share one of the great, sadly uncredited illos from my little old copy of Ray Bradbury's The Golden Apples of the Sun (great title stolen from a Yeats poem).

I've never read any Bradbury before, except for Fahrenheit 451 in high school which I compared so unfavorably with 1984 that I maybe didn't give it a fair try. Anyway, some of these short stories are good--or parts of them are, individually. I find him overly flowery at times, like he'll start out with a really strong description that catches my interest, but then he ruins it by continuing to add adjectives and similes just to be novel, and it's like buddy you nailed it a minute ago, what are you doing to yourself? And a lot of it is excessively sentimental in this kind of condescending way. For me the perfect example of his affect (so far) is a story where about 90% of it is just this beautiful description of a guy walking around in the suburbs on a November night, it's just captivating and the pleasure the character takes in this activity is so vividly conveyed--but then at the last minute it turns into this thing about how he's being thrown in a mental institution because he likes to go outside and read books instead of watching TV all the time, and it's just so smug and obnoxious.

There's a certain trend in science fiction, maybe it's partially his fault but it seems like a natural temptation, to congratulate the present, or even the recent past, for being so wholesome and righteous. Which is like, dystopia is a trope that I enjoy for sure, but there's a difference between saying "Humanity could be headed in a bad direction due to certain vices and imbalances," and saying "Humanity should leave everything exactly the way it is right now (or the way it was in my romanticized memories of my own childhood) because it's already perfect." It's very easy to become hyper-conservative and self-satisfied about your personal good old days. I wish I had a bunch of examples at the ready, I'm sure you can think of some or you'll notice it next time you see one, but very often the hinge issue is books. Like even as a reader and also a writer, I feel a little insulted by stories where ultimate virtue is exemplified by a character's love of reading, or villains are clearly identified because they hate books for whatever reason. OK, we get it, you're better than everybody else because you write! Good thing we're in the club too, how else could we be reading a book right now if we weren't inherently superior to the rest of the universe?

Anyway, the story this illo is from got me thinking about the notion of prescience in fiction. Like once in a while you get truly weird visions of the future (I just wrote this thing about futuristic frissons in each of the Cronenberg kids' first films), but I suspect that sometimes what seems to be a prophecy of the future is really just an acknowledgment of something inevitable. "The Murderer" takes place in a future where there is absolutely constant stimulation being broadcast from every quarter; all of life is one big billboard, there's no relief from being in constant electronic contact with everyone you know, and there's entertainment blasting out of everywhere in a continuous onslaught of overstimulation. The title character starts "murdering" all the devices, and all the stuff in his smart home, until he gets institutionalized. And on the most obvious level it's just Bradbury congratulating himself for being such a balanced and thoughtful person, again, but it's also like well, all that stuff was really coming. And did Bradbury really need to be (as they called him) the Greatest Living Science Fiction Writer in order to see it coming? Or was it just obvious, from ordinary trends in human behavior, that life would inevitably tend toward this state of constant connectivity and constant stimulation, with an eventual eradication of peace and privacy?

I used to like to listen to Damien Echols talk about all his occult learnings from his monastic existence in prison, and something he would say (he probably got this from somewhere else and I missed it) is that a prophet is not someone who predicts the future; a prophet is a person who understands the past. This made a lot of sense to me, that if you're sharp enough to see what generally happens, it's easy enough to see where things are headed. I think this is probably true of a lot of fiction we'd call prescient-- that if you look closely, it becomes clear that what it describes is sadly obvious.

[asksythe]

Does chinese fandom also have the headcannon of wen yuan being wen ruohans secret 3rd son conceived after wen xu & wen chaos death's 😅? Western fans made this headcanon because they thought having the wen remnants wwx takes in be this separate branch that are healers muddled the themes? And to spite the great clans who attempted to exterminate the wens root and branch having the only post canon survivor of the wen being qishan wen but also directly related to wen ruohan is very satisfying to them I guess

What I'm trying to ask is does chinese cultural reading of the text allow for such headcanon or does it go against text

Wen Yuan being Wen Ruohan's secret child... well... I personally have never seen that in the Chinese fandom.

That said, a fandom is a big space, especially the Chinese side. So, I don't think anybody can conclusively claim any one thing. There's a lot of wacky stuff out there. And a lot of it genuinely makes sense or is convincing in its own way. I've seen ethnic minority authors (Xin Jiang, etc..) coming in with their own cosmology and folklore completely distinct from the base cosmology of MDZS and writing some of the most creative and beautiful stories I have ever read (like the idea that Lan mama might be a member of the Northern tribes worshipping the phoenix, which explains her being powerful enough to kill Lan papa's master while also being an unknown to the clans, and that her 'death's is actually part of the phoenix saintess's ability to reborn herself in a new body).

Wen Yuan being Wen Ruohan's secret love child doesn't really have much if any support from the book, the donghua, or the show. If anything, the first time A Yuan appeared in the book, he was described as a child not more than 2 years old atop Wen grangran's back in the prison camp. The time makes it really awkward for A Yuan to be Wen Ruohan's albeit it's not completely out of the realm of possibilities. In the same chapter, the book also said that A Yuan's father is Wen Qing's cousin and Wen grangran's son.

But if you are in pursuit of exploring certain themes or ideas, then I don't see why not. Headcanon is... well... headcanon. The nature of fandom being a space for exploration and appreciation is a beautiful thing I think.

Funnily enough, I have seen a fair number of Chinese fics operating on the premise that Wei Ying himself is mainline Wen via either his mother or his father. The theme they pursue is a member of the Wen ending itself in the fire of purification. The Wen founder, by all accounts, seemed a real stand-up guy. The teachings he left behind to his children were genuine pieces of wisdom and calling for a commitment to justice and fairness. The Wens in the book had a lot of signs that they had many good and right ideas (pursuing standardized laws among cultivators, the observation tower system that ended up being stolen by Jin Guangyao, etc...) but they went down the wrong direction due to corruption and a betrayal of the founding precepts laid down by their own founders. And so it took a (secret) Wen descendant to cut away the rot and to punish themselves, leaving behind only one or two genuinely innocent Wens.

The sun rises, the sun sets, the sun rises again. Anew and cleansed from rot. The mark of the Wen sun burned into Wei Ying's chest holds more symbolic power than it first appears, and the fact that Wei Ying cited the Wen founder's precepts back to a Wen descendant who had betrayed those very precepts. Like that. That kind of theme.

I remember there being several really big-name Chinese fan authors who wrote the same premise in different ways. It was really fun to read. Oh man, stories in which Wen Ruohan gets to redo things, or the Wen are all resurrected in a heaven-gambit type plot are in abundance, funnily enough. Hah! They tend to be a lot of fun to read too. There's also that one really great story in which the previous generations of the clan (Lan mama, papa, Wen Ruohan in his prime before children, Nie papa and his second wife, Jiang husband and wife freshly married, Wei papa and Cangse Sanren, etc...) get to see bits and pieces of the future via text without knowing their names and they have to deduce who is whose kids and how are they going to save their kids now??!!! In that story, Wen Ruohan kept thinking Wei Ying (called the destined of heaven in this story) is his child because there's no way he would spawn such bumbling, corrupted incompetents ... hahahahahahaha.... oh man... Well, that particular Wen Ruohan would then vow to be a better and stricter father to his kids to prevent them from becoming such rotten shitbags.

Oh yeah, there's also the idea that the Wen, being such a big and histories clan, actually had fall-back plan preparing for such scenarios where their entire clan is wiped out. They have secret seeds placed in far off territory. In one Chinese fic I read, this Wen descendant spent decades studying the major clans, rebuild the Wen in secret, and almost enacted bloody vengeance on all the major clans, but then stayed his hand when he found out the existence of Wen Yuan. That one was a good read too. Very convincing.

Ahem, the short answer to your question is that the canon text doesn't really support that headcanon... but it's not strictly speaking an impossibility either. It just boils down to how convincing can you write it?

[snek-panini]

I'm trying to get the last of my Binderary projects posted, so today we have books #8 and 9, Fault Lines by Marabelle123. This is a long canon compliant Good Omens fic (pre-second season) that I've had on my to-bind list since I started making books three years ago. It's unfinished and had its most recent update in early 2020, but based on how the existing story feels I'm fairly sure it was close to the end and feels complete enough to be satisfying. It's very in character and captures a lot of the specific feeling from the pre-miniseries fandom, that the relationship between the leads defies all definition. They're as close as it's possible to be and their relationship has teeth sometimes but their bond is as undefinable as it is unbreakable. Give it a read if that sounds like your thing; it's excellent.

The cover for this one is made of two colors of faux leather, cut at a diagonal with no overlap, with the title in silver foil htv. I've never done a cover like this before but I'm in love with the result. It feels very sleek and sexy and modern compared to the more vintage elements I usually favor. And I didn't have enough of either leather to do two full books, but I still wanted to use them and have the volumes match. I think it was an elegant solution.

More pics under the cut! I tried some new stuff with this one.

You may have noticed above that this is a Coptic bind, my favorite for unfinished fics because of the "out" option it leaves. If the author ever returns to it and posts more chapters it would be fairly easy to take out the stitching and add more signatures. I still stand by this motivation, but after a silence of four years and no response from the author when I reached out for permission to bind it I'm reasonably sure this is it for the story. That let me try out some stuff I'd be reluctant to do if I was planning to add pages. Have a look at the spines:

Sadly I couldn't make the page count work with a single volume, since you can't do much to mitigate spine swell in a Coptic bind, but the volume split let me do some long stitches in the center that look like wings. There are plot-relevant feathers in the fic, so it's fitting. I thought of sewing one of them in white for that sweet Good Omens balance feeling, but I didn't think it would pop against the white paper and would leave the set looking unbalanced so I stuck with black on both. To get the pattern right I cut out a wing shape the same width as the spine and traced it and poked holes for the outline, then flipped it for the second volume so they'd be mirrored. You can also see that I did something different at the head and tail, more visible here:

This is a Coptic endband. I found out these existed a couple of months ago and absolutely had to try them. They're woven into the signatures and cover with a separate thread, after the rest of the stitching is done, and they're supposed to add some stability to the wiggly spine that you always get with these books. Unlike other types of endband, they don't have a core. I had a lot of trouble with them and had to pull out the first one and redo it with a different thread (embroidery floss is better than crochet thread for this) but I have no regrets about the finished product. They do stabilize the spine some, though not as much as I'd have liked. I really like how they (and the longstitch section) dress up a Coptic spine. I've always thought the plain ones were a little lackluster for how much work they are, but I love all the texture and interest this one has. Would absolutely not do black on black again though. Very hard to keep track of which thread I was supposed to sew under against a black background. I'll be using a contrasting color next time.

Interior photos. The doublure on the inside of the cover is a striped lokta (I think; it's been a while since I bought it). The title page image is a free-to-use image that I found on I think Vecteezy. Unsurprisingly, given its title, a big theme in this one is underlying cracks and misalignments that the characters don't realize are there until there's a massive disturbance, and that's why I had the text on both the title page and the cover not line up. Things are slipping, things are cracking, and there's extra work to be done on both sides if you're going to stabilize or rebuild. Comparatively, the typeset is quite plain and simple, with only two fonts, no chapter header image, and no section break images unless the break falls on the last line of a page, in which case there's one gray line. I think it's well-suited to the story; there is a bit with an illuminated manuscript, but mostly the characters are busy introspecting in between managing crises. They don't have the time or the energy to dress things up prettily.

And that's it on Fault Lines! As I mentioned earlier, I reached out to the author on Ao3 for permission to bind but never received a response, so I really hope they don't mind that I made these. I love their fic, and I love the bind I made.

[cupidspup]

hello! congrats on 50 followers!

#9 from your 20 questions game? as a queer disabled regressor i love hearing other people’s experiences!

~ @littletism 🎀

Eeee hello hi! ^^ Thank you for your question I'm so so excited to answer! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა

The question is:

"If you have other marginalized identities (lgbtq+, neurodivergent, poc, ect...) how do they figure into your regression?"

And my answer is...

It incorporates into my regression in a lot of ways!! X)

I know you all don't know a lot about me so this is sort of a deeper dive into me along with being a fun lil game! :] So strap in its a bit of a long one x)

I'm a person of color, I'm in the lgbtq+ community (not straight and my gender identity doesn't align with my assigned sex at birth), I have autism and adhd AND on top of that I have other mental health/physical health problems that can take a huge toll on me too! :")

Regression isn't always sunshine and rainbows for sure. I come from a very troubled background, my regression comes from a place to heal that child that was hurt from that time. To give me back what I lost as a child or to give me what I never had.

I'm a trans guy and I'm proud, but online I get really finicky about it because I'm always scared that no one will respect it (or my pronouns) because I'm a hyperfem trans guy so I try to hide my gender/sex a lot which is something I'm working on ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

On top of that with the mental health problems I have, they make me incredibly sensitive and extremely clingy no matter what age I regress to. I have chronic back and joint pain which makes it hard to do a lot of the "typical" regressor things and sometimes it can put a damper on how I feel about myself as a little too (╥ᆺ╥；)

This all translates to a very big crybaby little, who seems like nothing will satisfy them, very high maintenance along with the constant energy just MOVING!!! I'm not a skinny person either and my feelings get so confused too :< "why don't I look like that person? I want to sit criss-crossed too!! Wait I don't want to be a little prince I wanna be a princess!! Princesses are cute!! Oh I hope I'm not being too much...I'm too much...Oh but my cg loves me still!!" Most of the time when I'm small, my Pronouns change too because in my little brain the feminine girly stuff feels way better than all the little boy stuff!! It's a really hard thing to navigate but I'm happy the people around me are open minded and accepting of that 🩷

With all the trauma I've experienced certain words and actions can trigger me even easier :"] it can be a lot for a lil guy with anxiety. Not to mention that my regression doesn't look anything like my childhood (I'm Latin-Hispanic) so sometimes it feels like it's just a game of pretend or like I'm dressing up as a white person so that I can fit in with the "rest of the kids" ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟;;;ა (I, of course, mean no offense to anyone)

Thoughts and feelings are fast and troublesome.

But it's not all that bad either!!

With the big thoughts come even bigger hugs and kisses! With the back/joint pain comes back rubs and tickles (With consent of course🩷) and soft pillows n plushies to rest on!! When I feel like stimming I (very luckily) have a cg who's willing to rock me n do all the stimmy things with me! ૮( ˃ ꒳ ˂)ა He's always willing to work around the stuff I like and don't like and knows what food is safe and not safe :3

I feel that because I'm so different a whole other world gets unlocked through my regression!! I want to experience so much and rewrite the story that little me had to live through. I want to bring comfort to those who don't exactly have any guidance or the means for said comfort.

My regression is different from most but also valid and very common! I love this community and I love that it's been here for me for my hardest times 🩷 I'd love to be an older figure in the community (since I'm so grown up now!! I grew from 13 to almost 21 in the blink of a eye!!) that guides the new generation one step at a time :] There's so much more that I can say about my regression but this is getting long and I think I've covered a good amount of it ૮ ᴖﻌᴖ��

Thank you so much @littletism for joining the game and asking me this question!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა (also I love your blog its so so cute and it'd be so cool if we could be friends maybe ८,,◐⩊◐,,ა /nf)

Anywho until next time!!

- Kyupie ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

[hagoftheholler]

So, I wanna give y'all a bit of a life update and the future of this account. If that doesn't interest you, keep scrolling. If it does, read under the cut. Feel free to voice your thoughts in the notes.

The past five months have been a lot, in simple terms. I had to leave my previous job significantly earlier than I wanted to, move to a different state significantly earlier than I wanted to, figure out how to manage off-grid living, adjust to a new job that I must admit I'm not really satisfied with, and I've adopted a kitten that came from a cat colony (she's doing amazing, btw). There's more to it, but that's most of what's been going on.

As a result, I've had to press pause on writing more personal and informative posts. It's not something I wanted to do. I just haven't really had a lot of time to spare. I'm not kidding when I say my drafts list is long. I'm the type of person who writes better on a computer instead of a phone, so I have to hold off on writing this stuff for when I get to visit a local cafe that has wifi.

It's unfortunate. But that's just how things are right now.

So, that being said... I'm in a spot where I'm more comfortable with evaluating where to go from here. I still want to post about folk magic and my personal practice. I'm just not sure tumblr is the platform to do it on. I haven't really decided if I am going to move to a different platform or not. I was looking into making a website at one point but that's a lot of work, and I'm not tech savvy. If anybody has any suggestions on this I'm open to them.

Furthermore, it's officially been a year since I was formally diagnosed with autism. It's been a rough adjustment. It's not like things really changed, because the struggles I've had pre-diagnosis are still present. The new struggles have been trying to redirect my mum away from ableist organizations and trying to explain to people that my brain isn't wired like a neurotypical person's.

I've also been able to address some internalized ableism and have been working on being less hard on myself. Which isn't easy. I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my limits are more narrow than what I'd like.

Things have been rough. I'm okay though.

[thrandilf]

9, the devil you thought you knew

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Usually there weren't alternate versions as much as I discovered new places I wanted to go/new developments within the journey. I've known what the ending couple of chapters will be for about a year now (likely chapters 40-42) but the route there keeps expanding

I hadn’t known that I'd want Viravos to actually get married but they are and it'll matter for more than just shipper reasons, for instance

When I first started writing rather soon after S4 I hadn't been a Sorvus shipper so that was a pleasant surprise, most stuff is like that where I grow into the idea that fits alongside the trajectory I've always had. Including some Ezran POV snd Rayla POV chapters and the Pentarchy were also things I really loved writing but hadn't known I would do at the start and I'm glad I have

I also have been on the fence about how much I wanted human mages to progress with learning magic, but I think it's clear now that I'm angling for them to be able to connect to an arcanum without using dark magic first, and I've spent a lot of time in fic establishing that through Aaravos, Callum, and Viren being teachers to my Eveneran mage circle. I suppose I worried for awhile if it would seem too OP or like Mary-Sueish to let myself have non canon characters connect, but I think that showing the effort has been rewarding and that I can earn that world state bit. Villads is also connected to the Sky in my fic but with a dormant connection so there's that as well for precedent

The biggest thing is yet to come, and it's what I'm going to do with Sol Regem. I've considered every option for what feels ic to resolve his stuff with and how to try and make it realistic but not like, horrific, and so I'm satisfied but it bothered me for months (probably like, chapter 38 or 39 we'll see).

So there haven't been total AU versions but I've weighed a lot of it in my mind and come into things. I've had a few major plotting sessions- one around chapter 10 when I realized I didn't want to leave off with Callum going with Aaravos and mage fam, and then another around chapter 20, and before Evenere was fleshed out I had anticipated ending in the 30s but I decided to stay ambitious and let myself spend time there, so the ending has always been there but the journey there has been pushed further and further by chunks of about 10 chapters at a time plotted in detail, always knowing what's coming after

And at this time I do have every chapter mostly mapped to the end, though knowing me it'll be a bit longer than I anticipate

Sometimes I wish I had made Viren get Star rather than Ocean, but hitting the wrong mage with the right arcanum is still funny to me and I think for how my fic has gone it works

I also wish things had been paced a bit differently as sometimes I feel I'm too fast or too slow, but alas, that's what writing a serial is like

Thank you so much for the ask! 💜

[iraprince]

any advice for starting sketches? once i have a coherent foundation it's easier for me to work on the drawing but i struggle SO BAD with actually making my initial sketch something that makes sense. when i try to start the sketch it feels like im just trying to get lucky with something i can actually work on. it's like i cant transfer what i want to see in my head to the actual work and it's insanely frustrating. it's like i can only know what i want to do when it's already there, not when nothing is there. ive been drawing for over 10 years and this is something I've never been able to change no matter how many different ways I've tried to go about this and it's why ive gone everywhere from drawing multiple times a week to not doing it at all for months/years at a time. i never want to try because the process of attempting a new sketch is so frustrating a majority of the time and i wish i could enjoy it or know why i cant get my sketches started. it's fine when i do get lucky, it's just the blank page that torments me

hmmm this is a really good question. it's something i have an easier time with digitally than traditionally, somehow -- like, i can't tell you how many stacks of paper i have sitting around that are full of, like, 20% of a floating head because i keep getting that far on starting something and then deciding i hate it, vs with digital sketches i do still often scrap/give up on sketches very early but somehow there's less friction irt just making a new layer and trying again, over and over pretty quickly. maybe it's that digital feels faster + more ephemeral, vs w traditional i'm faced more confrontationally with the paper i'm "wasting," etc

also i think just like. "what's in my head will not show up on the paper" is just the universal problem forever, it's the tide we're always swimming against and we'll go through waves where it feels more or less true depending on the current development of our technical skill vs our critical eye, but i don't think it ever fully goes away

this is just what's true for me but if it always feels like you're just trying to get lucky, the fastest brute force solution for that is leaning into quantity, imo. draw a LOT, draw FAST, and -- easier said than done, but -- try your best not to CARE if they look bad. even in the shittiest drawing there is often something you can salvage for later. i can't remember where i saw it but i once saw it said that drawing is like a clogged pipe -- there's a bunch of shitty drawings stuck in there and you have to get those all OUT before you can expect the real stuff behind it to start flowing

lower the stakes, in whatever way you can. in my experience, it's not that drawing itself is really that hard or taxing -- it's that the emotional toll of doing drawings and then not being happy with them is hard, it's disappointment and being down on yourself that's hard. if we do our best to strip away all the emotional baggage, that's that part that can actually make art so grueling and difficult to keep up with imo. so try the best u can to just make it, like... not that serious. remind yourself over and over again that there's nothing actually wrong with making drawings you're not satisfied with. it's not doing anything bad to anyone. i literally mumble it to myself sometimes -- when a drawing is coming out shitty or i just can't get where i want to be on an illustration i say to myself "it's okay, that's fine" and try to pump the brakes on the negative thoughts before "ugh, that's not what i wanted" somehow internally transforms into "you SUCK and you're a HACK and there's no point to ANY OF THIS!!!!" lol

in terms of more concrete stuff to try -- one of my fav exercises to loosen up is song sketches. i put a huge playlist (usually like literally all my music, i have it all in a folder on spotify) on shuffle and then draw a bunch of quick sketches only for the duration of each song, and usually trying to match the drawing to whatever the song makes me think of -- so if it's a 2 minute song, i literally only have 2 minutes. if i hit some 7 minute club edit, then great, i have 7 minutes to bang out something slightly more polished. depending on how fast you're used to working, you may find that at first you struggle to get ANYTHING coherent down in 2-3 minutes -- that's OKAY!!! another point of this exercise is to acclimate yourself to making unfinished, incoherent, dogshit drawings without it being a big deal. the point is that if you're limiting yourself this much (in terms of actual drawing time AND in terms of not being able to overthink/plan, you have to hear the start of the song and decide what ur gonna draw IMMEDIATELY), you will end up churning out a lot more drawings without individually agonizing over each one as much, and there WILL be something salvageable in the pile.

i hope some part of this is helpful!!!! good luck!!!