#it’s a literal guessing game even for professionals i’m just saying. that’s my experience

[bidisasterevankinard]

Fuck it Friday 🎸

which is actually already saturday for me

tagged by @buddierights @wikiangela @jesuisici33 @devirnis @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @wildlife4life @jeeyuns thank you lovely people 💖💕

tagging if the want to share @alyxmastershipper @the-likesofus @transbuck @911onabc @heartshapedvows @heartbeatdiaz @lover-of-mine @thewolvesof1998 @cowboy-buddie @heartshapedvows @translasso @mandzuking17 @bekkachaos @rogerzsteven @housewifebuck @caroandcats @firemedicdiaz

more enemies to lovers (I give big snippet because maybe i will be out fo tag games participation for a while. please don't stop tagging me I LOVE read what you have)

The next day after he made coffee for Diaz to start the truce they needed to go through the weeks of working together, Buck found himself in Bobbie’s office again.

“No one heard any screams or sounds of a fight yesterday, and you both are alive so I guess you two finally bonded?” Bobby asks the moment they both sit in the chairs like two days before.

“Well, it’s hard to call it a bond, but we made a truce till we work with a song,” Buck answers when Diaz nods to his words.

“I would prefer the truce to stay after too,” Bobby stays up and moves to his coffee maker. “Buck out milk latte, Eddie just black?” He looks at them from the corner and they send him “yes”.

Buck would always be impressed by how fantastic a person Bobby is. And how he really cares about his singers and musicians. No other boss could tell you what coffee you drink and make it for you.

“Let’s not run too fast, Bobby. Let us end the song and we can talk about prolonging the truce” Diaz says and Buck agrees. 

For now, they can promise only weeks for songwriting and recording. But working with Diaz after their little high school experiences sharing wasn't really bad. Buck with bitterness can admit it really felt good. No other musicians or singers were ever so interesting to work with. 

Diaz is a talented asshole, and he quickly understands Buck’s even really raw ideas he can’t even normally verbalize. 

Maybe, if this jerk would stop being so not real and drive Buck crazy constantly they can co-exist in the label more peacefully after doing too.

Well, perhaps they should try if they don’t want to work together again to save their image.

“I’ll take what I can have for now,” Bobby comes back to the table with two mugs and gives them to them, then takes the tupperware from the little fridge he has here and puts it between them. “Found a new receipt yesterday. Made too much for Athena and kids, so I decided to take some to my work kids too. Eat and listen to our next moves.”

You never should tell Buck twice to eat if he can eat Bobbie’s food. 

The first bite of fantastic chocolate cookies makes Buck almost moan from the deep and rich taste. Cookies literally melt in his mouth and with an oat milk latte, this is the perfect breakfast even if not the healthiest. 

Looking at his side Buck can say Diaz enjoys cookies no less. Well, at least they can have another thing to talk about. How blessed they were with Bobbie’s love of cooking.

Bobby sits looking at them proudly and fondly with a little smile on his face for a second then starts.

“Happy you both enjoy it,” then he puts the smile down, changing it to his professional manager's face. 

“Hen has some planned content for your accounts you would need to post. Also if you can post something while working together to make it more real it would be fantastic. Hen will talk about it with you later. Next, tomorrow you two will be guests on Taylor’s Kelly show,”  Diaz makes an offended sound on that. 

“You have problems with this Eddie?” Bobby raises his eyebrow and looks at brown-eyed like an angry parent and Buck feels smug like a sibling watching the other one being grounded.

“I’m ok with it all, but should we actually go to the show of that redhead? She’s the most unprofessional and rude interviewer I've ever worked with. I still can’t understand how she got her show.” Diaz rolls his eyes. “Could we have some other variants?”  

“No, Eddie, sorry. Her show is one of the most popular now, and it’s the best option to close the gossip about your fight so fast.” 

Diaz rolls his eyes again.

“I’m sure Taylor is not bad,” Buck intervenes in the conversation. “She seemed interesting and professional. She is also really principal and chases her goals.” 

“If by principal you mean she’s ready to walk over anyone to get the information she wants, put to pour a ton of dirt on people just for the sake of information and to get into the personal lives of people who have specifically said MORE THAN ONCE that this is CONFIDENTIAL information, then yes. She is principled. This woman once was ready to pay my bodyguard to find out if I’m single or not,” Diaz says it all, and Buck can feel the poison in his voice and he can't help but feel sorry for Eddie. 

Taylor can really be willing to do a lot for the sake of information. He knows his experience when she tried to know more about Bobby from him. But he didn't know that she could do something like that. It's overstepping the bounds completely. It's a good thing they didn't start anything after their hook-up in the bar.

[twinge-of-cosmicangst]

what are your hopes for the final episode?

Gonna go by character I guess

Kendall- Kendall has always been a favourite of mine, I have liked him less this season, that’s not me saying he’s been OC or anything, I just think it’s his natural progression now he hasn’t got the moral of high ground over his father. He is becoming his father, he is the epitome of “the cycle” some people think Shiv is most like Logan, some even think Roman is, but to me it’s Kendall, and always has been, and it’s even more evident this season. When Ewan said that he and Logan had a meagreness about them, but the the difference between them is that Ewan tries to be moral, whereas at some point Logan stopped trying. Meaning that once upon a time Logan was a better man, which I think can be somewhat backed up by Connor the eldest being somewhat softer then the rest, perhaps Logan was not as brutal with him, if somewhat absent because of his obsession with his career (remind you of anyone) and then 15-25 odd years later his youngest son is physically beaten by him. I think when Ewan made that “he stopped trying” statement about Logan, the audience was supposed to think about Kendall. Despite his faults Kendall has shown genuine empathy multiple times throughout first 3 seasons and yet in season 4 he grows more and more cold as he literally tries to become his father. So the natural conclusion to this is that he becomes CEO but he is deeply unhappy and his soul is basically ruined and his whole family inevitably hating him. That would be a sad ending for Kendall fans, but it’s honestly hard to imagine another one for him, other then perhaps suicide, which I think is a possibility. So out of those to options I’d guess I’ll say CEO? I don’t know, the other potential CEO that I think could happen is maybe Tom, which would not great for him in the long run either but ultimately not as thematically tragic.

Roman- I honestly have no idea what Roman’s end game could be, I’m not even sure what I would want for him, that probably has something to do with the fact that he has never been one of my favourites, yet I do feel empathy for his character, Logan abused all his children, yet Roman was the only one he physically abused, to be singled out like that must be traumatising. I think he is slightly more likely to get a somewhat happier ending then Kendall (idk why I just feel it in my waters) and yeah he’s not my favourite but I don’t hate him, so I’ll be fine with him getting a neutral ending, perhaps working at Waystar (not CEO) and befriending Gerri once again?

Shiv: I am 99% sure that Shiv will not be CEO “American” or otherwise, I think pretty much all the other mains (aside from Connor) have more of a chance becoming CEO. This is not because I’m secretly a internal misogynist, neither do I think she will not become CEO because of her “Lack of experience” No the reason I think she has no chance is because of how the last episode ended Lucas telling her he can make the “American CEO work” was basically a neon sign saying “Matsson may be able to get an American CEO to work but it sure as fuck won’t be Shiv” that’s just how narrative convention works. Matsson is shady as fuck and it’s been kind of obvious that he’s been playing Shiv the whole time, she is aware of this and she has been playing him too, but she is only aware to an extent because when her mind is so close to the prize, I think she gets a little carried away. It fluctuates but at the moment Shiv is my second favourite character, and what I want for her professionally is what I’ve wanted for her since I watched season 2 and that’s to go back into politics. Connor has always been a bit of a scrounger (I love him though) and Ken and Roman of course have always been in the family business. Shiv was the only one to make a career for herself (yes she had a huge amount of privilege to help her build that career) but still she had a career that was hers not her fathers, not only that but she was a democrat, while her father has a hugely intimidating and influential presence in the conservative landscape, I never see anyone talk about how brave that was (even if it was somewhat to spite him lol) and yet after years of apparent resistance Logan managed to reel her back in, and we saw she was as desperate for his approval as her brothers were. The scene where Logan persuaded her to take her picture with Menken is one of the most devastating in the show imo, she was so reluctant but she did so for a promise of Waystar and Logan’s approval. She clearly had some passion for working in politics and she appeared to enjoy her job. This hope for her is fruitless though because it is the last episode of the last season so in terms of profession, my hope for Shiv would be that she ends up at Pierce, or perhaps goes into business with Roman (could they maybe work better together without Kendall, maybe it would be a disaster idk) I think there is more of a chance that Shiv gets out then there is for her brothers (she actually knows there is life outside of Waystar from 10+ years of a different career) also as she is my favourite of the siblings she is the one I want to escape the most, as I think working at Waystar (living in the haunted house) will end in misery for any of the siblings and I do want Shiv to be somewhat happy. In terms of personal I want Tom and Shiv to officially end it (although I think that’s unlikely this point) I’m not even talking from a Tomgreg perspective, Tom and Shiv clearly make each other miserable (I do believe they do love each other though) and I know them being miserable together is part of the appeal for a lot of people (hand in unloveable hand and all) but I would personally like them to put themselves out of their misery for good (honestly it would be better for their child as well) Speaking of the baby, I do not want to speak of it much because it is basically pointless as a plotline as we’ll never actually get to see the thing (unless they flash forward Harry Potter style “Logan Roman Nate Wambsgans you were named after the biggest sicko I’ve ever known”) I am not someone who was dead set against Shiv getting pregnant (in fact I thought it was a real possibility with some of the hints we got in season 3) but upon finding out that Jesse added it in last minute, it only makes me think the whole plotline is rushed and pointless and if the whole point of it is to bring Tom and Shiv back together, then dear god 🙄

Connor and Willa- These two’s married life seems to be going well (Yay I love Conwilla) and I think it is highly unlikely that they will randomly implode in the last episode, if they do, Jesse, I will Annie Wilkes your ass (For legal reasons this is a joke) but as the last episode is going to be very Waystar centric, Conwilla will probably be minimal, my main hope for them in the final is they get more screen time then I expect and that I am presently surprised, and that they are happy. Career wise it would be nice to hear how Willa’s playwriting is going, and I honestly don’t have a preference whether Connor is going to remain in politics or go back to “ranching” whatever tickles his pickle. What I would like for Connor though is a little, just smidge of affection from the sibs. GIVE US A SIBLING HUG WITH ALL 4 SIBLINGS YOU COWARDS! I know that the sibs care for Connor in their own way, but he doesn’t (he literally said no one loves him and none of them bothered correct him) Not to bring up the Tomshiv babby again but I can’t believe Matsson heard about it before brodad 🤮 the injustice. Please let at least one of the sibs have sweet moment with him. Please 🙏

Tom and Greg- Saving the best till last baby! I do genuinely want the gay art gallery date (real ones know) it is possible if somewhat unlikely. Other then that I do not expect Tomgreg to go canon but I would like them to have a decent amount of screen time (like proportionally the same as episode 8 which would be more screen time then episode 8 because episode 10 is 1/3 longer then episode 8, if I’m making sense) dream would be to have proportionally the same amount of screen time as episode 1 but that is unrealistic (episode 1 felt about 40% lmao). I would obviously like them to end on good terms, and I want them to be working together! I think Tom is a genuine possibility for “American CEO” he has experience, and Lukas may just do it to fuck with the Roy siblings. Matsson seems to genuinely like Greg but even he wouldn’t make someone like Greg CEO, under qualified is an understatement, the markets would freak, but maybe he would settle for Tom instead, maybe Greg persuades Matsson to name Tom (that would be the dream) I do think being CEO of Waystar inevitably leads to misery for anyone who becomes it (to quote Gerri “the job that makes your brain explode”) but like I said it’s not as tragic with Tom, because he won’t have the corpse of his abusive dead father breathing down his neck. Ultimately I would like Tom and Greg to be somewhat ok and working together and remain besties, wouldn’t mind Tom becoming CEO but idrc. If I’m being realistic I think Tom could end things in a really bad place unemployed? Publicly shamed? Getting arrested for cruises?? Lmao the last one is unlikely but not impossible, but I don’t want any of those things to happen, because he’s my favourite character and I don’t want him to be completely miserable, but I can deal with somewhat miserable, he kind of deserves it. With Greg I think he is the most likely out of the main characters to end up in a good place career wise (although again not CEO lmao) but it means nothing to me if he is in a good place career wise but estranged from Tom, so yeah Tomgreg to remain besties is really what I want for them the most (cheesy I know) a little bit of homoeroticism wouldn’t hurt either but I refuse to get my hopes up.

It just occurred to me while writing this that I said I wouldn’t mind if Tom became CEO but that I also said if Kendall doesn’t become CEO he’ll die! That is perhaps a bit extreme. But what I’m saying is that I think that out of all the characters Kendall is the most doomed by the narrative and will have a tragic ending no matter what, and hoping that he doesn’t his somewhat pointless, the only good thing that I can bring myself to hope for Kendall, is that his relationship with his siblings isn’t completely destroyed by the end of the series and that they are still on speaking terms.

[alphagodith]

DO NOT SHOP WITH TGG ONLINE

do not order from ‘the gaming goat’ online store. there was a chain of physical stores that broke off from them and those are probably fine, but i have had the most HORRENDOUS experience with the online/vegas part of tgg compared to literally every other business i have EVER dealt with.

tldr; i preordered an item and not only did i never get it, but the company didn’t even look into why until an entire two weeks after it released, despite people constantly asking for updates, only to discover there was some kind of error months ago and they never actually ordered any of the limited-print item. full story under cut.

i preordered the beelzemon advanced deck (st-14) from them in january. it released on march 23rd. now this part is partly my fault for not reading the fine print before i placed my order, but their policy on preorders is really sketchy to begin with- no refunds, only store credit if you cancel, and more importantly, NO ETAS. no etas means they can just keep saying ‘it’ll get there eventually’ and you never actually get your purchase at all.

when launch day came around, i checked my order status and saw no updates on it, and the only means of getting one manually was discord (never a good sign- any professional business will either have on-site communication, email, or both). i was not the only one asking about it, and the only answer we received was that they hadn’t received their shipment of decks yet. they claimed that their special way of ordering that got them lower prices than other stores made things take longer. at the time, i was like okay, that makes sense i guess, and continued waiting patiently.

a few days later, all the local stores in my area have the decks in stock. people all over the country are opening decks online and having a blast, and i’m sitting here wondering why my preorder still hasn’t even been sent out from the place i bought it from yet. cuz y’know, typically the entire point of a preoder is ensuring you get the item on launch day, or asap, without having to wait in line or risk stores not having any in stock. so again, i politely ask for an order update. they say they don’t know, and remind us that they can’t give etas because of their special ordering method. now i’m starting to get suspicious. what kind of commercial shipping doesn’t come with tracking of any kind? they should be able to tell us the shipment is in transit or delayed or stuck in customs or SOMETHING, but they are always very vague and just say ‘not in yet’. and again, this is a highly coveted preorder item, any respectable business would be EXTRA on top of something like this. at this point i’m like okay i’ll just cancel my preorder and buy a deck from the stores that actually have them, and discover that is not an option. my funds are totally tied up with tgg while the item i ordered is selling out from everywhere else. as an additional fun note about this, digimon pre-built decks don’t get reprinted. when the stores run out of these, the only way i’ll be able to get one is buying second-hand at a considerable mark-up. very very not good.

so i can’t do anything other than wait and hope that the order comes in. i’m fortunate enough to have the funds to buy some decks from local stores despite tgg still having my money, and at this point i figure if/when the preordered decks arrive, i can sell them to make my money back. i have what i wanted so i’m placated for a bit over a week.

then it’s two whole weeks after launch. many stores are now sold out of the decks. people keep asking tgg what’s going on and are either ignored entirely (while tgg answers OTHER people’s questions, so it’s not that they didn’t see them/were too busy) or given the usual weirdly vague non-answers. so now i’m getting PISSED. the no refund/no eta policy coupled with the dodgy responses to inquiries are forcing me to come up with theories on what is actually going on with my order on my own. i even ask them straight up if they actually ordered the decks or not, and guess what? sudden silence in response. a simple yes or no question and they won’t answer. so at this point i conclude they never ordered the decks at all, and the real reason there is no eta is that their ‘preorder’ is actually a ‘kickstarter’, in that they don’t order the decks until enough people have ordered them to make it worth it for them to get a large quantity at once. that’s already incredibly scummy to do without clearly labeling the item in their store as such, but now that launch day has passed, the chances of anyone preordering an item that is already out is basically zero, meaning if tgg haven’t reached their goal of preorder numbers now, they literally never will, and those of us who already payed will NEVER get what we payed for. so i’m furious. i have given the company every chance to give me SOME kind of explanation for the unreasonable delay and have just been brushed off every time. i post my theory on what’s going on in their discord for other customers to see and then, knowing it likely won’t work cuz of the posted policy on the tgg website, issue a dispute claim with my bank to try and get my money back, since it’s looking like i’ll never get what they agreed to sell me.

then, mysteriously, a few hours later, an announcement is posted in the discord. two whole weeks after the decks were already supposed to have arrived, of customers begging for updates, tgg contacted their distributor and found out that someone on the distributor’s end supposedly made an error and typed the order in wrong, telling the system to send 0 decks instead of whatever number (tgg loves not specifying) they supposedly asked for. after the utter lack of professionalism and transparency, can you really blame me for not trusting tgg that this is somehow not their fault? and even if i did believe them, that is still no excuse. they could have checked up on the order literally any time, such as all the times people asked them to after launch, and any SENSIBLE business would have checked WELL BEFORE launch day to ensure they had the product on the way so they would be READY for launch day. so NOW they give a brief, insincere apology and offer either refunds or to sell the decks for their base manufacturer price instead of traditional retailer price... when the decks get reprinted. which doesn’t happen with digimon. also their explanation of the discount was so horrible that another customer had to explain it for everyone. to my ears, it sounded like they were saying they would charge MORE than we had already payed if we agreed to wait. another important note about all this- this announcement was only on their discord, in a regular channel, pinging everyone like it always does. super easy to miss. nothing to specifically let folks who actually ordered it know something was up, and i did not get any kind of notification about my order being screwed up in my email, despite having checked that option. so who the fuck KNOWS how many people are just never going to get what they payed for cuz the company that fucked them over in so many ways isn’t even going to bother telling them! so of course i slam the refund button as hard as i can. then, half as a joke to try and make light of this whole shitshow, i ask ‘any eta on the processing of that refund?’ and you know what the guy tells me? ‘i clicked the button five minutes ago, idk’. and this person supposedly runs a business?!?! you can literally google refund etas and find out it takes 2-5 days for a debit charge. and these assholes have the audacity to say they ‘just want to help’ and get defensive when people are rightfully enraged at the situation.

so yeah, i’m not canceling my dispute until i see the money i wasted back in my bank. and i am never, EVER dealing with tgg again, nor preordering. always check the refund/cancelation policies of any store the first time you shop there, folks. and don’t do preorders.

[honey-milk-depresso]

Of course ahem-

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Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey Trey the perfect malewife

Bingo sheet

**This is my personal opinion, please don't take them seriously.

@rizavi-m @cherryjkj @twisted-clovers I’m slandering-

T*ey is a lot of things for me, and totally not my OBVIOUS hate to him, y-yeah I totally don't like him- d-don't look at me like that...

T*ey is regarded as a "boring" character in the TWST fandom to say the least, and it isn't very hard to see why.

He's just that "malewife material" and he's a "normal man who does normal man things", which isn't wrong, but I just want to peel as many layers of him as possible (which I miraculously can and not because I'm all for him, like- what- ahahahha- t-that's weird-) and say that's he's very weird, in a good way (well, that's debatable-).

He's someone who's quite sketchy to be honest, especially how much he wants to prove to everyone that he is "normal". I mean, a lot of his lines in game shows that he would like to be seen as neutral from how he doesn't want you to get too carried away on his birthday, how he's average in all of his classes, and yet in his Uniform Card Personal Story, he's shown to be exceptionally good in his Flying Skills that even Vargas marked him with flying colors. I'm not sure about his other subjects as of now, but this definitely shows that he's NOT average in anything.

I think we never really ask why he wants to remain as such. Maybe it's similar to Kalim and Jamil's relationship, but with T*ey and Riddle as he doesn't want to be seen as "superior" to Riddle because he's just a Vice Dorm Leader, and much rather have Riddle have all the attention as Dorm Leader, or maybe it's because he knows that Riddle's ego might be crushed as we see when Riddle was shocked to find out that T*ey's Unique Magic had completely overwrites his, and ultimately questions his own powers compared to T*ey's, and he doesn't want his friend to feel that, I don't know.

T*ey is also, from what I see, to be someone who's a naturally good liar. I mean, literally everyone fell for his oyster sauce joke, including honor student Riddle himself, so maybe all his "I'm a normal man" is all a facade, and he hides something he doesn't want people to know for whatever reason. He's just, so enigmatic, so frustrating to think deeper about, which is something I like. (Yes, I like intellectual pain and headaches-)

I mean, I also think T*ey is someone who learns best through hands on experience, like how I explained here one time about how he loves Alchemy translate to it (the gist of it, more details in that post), and how he's failed multiple times in making Hamburg steak to become the professional, malewife chef and baker he is (from Birthday Suit interview), and that, don't flame me, I put VERY bluntly and simply:

Is why he's a coward, but you can't blame really him.

For someone who rather learn things through experience, it would probably mean he remembers things very well in order for him to understand, learn and use it for like, I don't know- tests- obviously-

but that same good memory of his is also why he probably didn't want to stop Riddle because from the Twisted Wonderland Comic, we see that T*ey was traumatised that of how broken and sad Riddle was because of his own "selfishness" (is that the right word?) in wanting to play with him. I guess in a way, they kinda insisted that Riddle plays with them, but the consequences of his own selfishness (which wasn't really selfish-) led to Riddle being more withdrawn and heartbroken, and recalling that same memory over and over and over again is what led T*ey to believe that he shouldn't do anything about it, or he'll make matters worse and cause his own friend to become more upset if he decides, by his own selfishness, to have Riddle stop his ridiculous strictness, of course, the irony being shit just got worse. Maybe that's why he does so much for others (sort of-), to avoid the messiness of crushing the other party's feelings if he were to be selfish.

He just doesn't know what to do in that situation because that's the only time he would experience it and nothing more, his maturity depth isn't so far into being "when is the right time to be assertive".

But... T*ey is someone I believe is someone who's caring, at least, to his family members, like the FCKING STARGAZER EVENT- I'M NEVER GONNA GET OVER THIS- LIKE HE FCKING GAVE ALL HIS HARD EARNED MONEY TO HIS YOUNGER BROTHER SO THAT HE COULD WATCH A MAGIFT GAME- IM FCKINDGDFDHFD

**Technical difficulties faced, we are trying to fix the dumbass**

Ahem, yes-

He's shrewd in literally Stargazer event, tricking Riddle to buy him that food processor he desired, FRICKIN' Lab Coat Personal Story like need I go on? He's a sneaky little gremlin which can further entail he's a good manipulator to get people to do or think as such if he so desired. He's THAT good which is kind of scary (why didn't I also circle if he existed I'd be a little scared of him?).

T*ey is so weird, on surface level he seems boring, but I like to think that he wants to for many reasons he won't say but we can all theorise, that's the beauty of T*ey, so much hidden, could-be-possible lore from him, a lot more deducing than obvious information of him thrown at us.

Also, now that I think about it, him not wanting to be the center of attention is also translated outside of the story as he has NO EVENT SSR- FCKING- T*EY- PLEASE- I KNOW IT’LL BE HARDER TO GET YOU BUT GIVE US ONE SSR EVENT CARD THAT’S NOT YOUR DAMN BIRTHDAY (which I didn’t simp scream over), OR FCKING SSR DORM UNIFORM DAMNIT HDGHDFGD- I HAD TOO HIGH HOPES FOR HALLOWEEN, DIDN’T I-

and also he's hot- I mean what-

Now... about the marrying part, I um... I-it's not that important... That... I don't know why I circled that but I'M TOO LAZY TO CHANGE NOW AHAHAHHA....

but GOSH, T*ey has always been radiating "big brother vibes" or "dad vibes" "my husband vibes" and just as someone as a friendly person, which is probably rare in NRC (I'm not saying definitely but at first eye would seem approachable and kinda is-), and I would throw my problems at him (which is me crying over Cookie Run Kingdom lore), but at the same time, I would like him to pour out his own problems, just a tad bit, or at least just let him know I am here for him. With whatever I said above, he might be exhausted, mentally and physically (from his own schoolwork and vice dorm duties), and I personally, no matter the person, just don't like to see them be all pent up and frustrated with themselves or with someone else because it's unhealthy (I won't force it, though).

Gosh... T*ey is just so weird and confusing that peeling his character layer by layer is actually a lot, but also very complicated, because the (direct) information given to us about him is quite little, and a lot the time is deducing from what he does, his character and behaviour in the series. BUT THAT'S SOMETHING I ROLE WITH- GOD I HATE HIM *kisses him*

but yeah, I'm gonna end it on this note because other things I want to say would just be time consuming and this post has been long enough- :")))))

[dailymemes22]

The Moving Scam

Serious Post for once.

I’m making this post to bring awareness about three moving companies that are confirmed to be part of this. I’ve fallen for their games. And I am currently paying the price for my poor decisions. Hopefully this helps you not get yourselves stuck in the same situation.

If you have to move to a different state/side of the country, avoid these companies.

The three companies are (in the same order as I’ve dealt with them):

- American Moving and Freight

Guess what: they’re not even a real company. They’re just brokers that contract other movers to do their job. These people basically set me up for the big loss. They took $3000+ as a down payment for the move, and pretty much ran with it. Those money were supposed to go towards the move, but no. They just took them, and never communicated with the people they’ve contracted, so when the pickup movers showed up, they basically charged me for the entirety of their services. And calling American Moving and Freight did nothing, since they never picked up the phone ever again.

Which brings me to:

- Prosperity Moving

These guys have questionable DOT information, and I wish I had inquired about it sooner than later. In any case, these people showed up, and had a truck that was pretty much already full. We had paid for extra space already, but they said they were charging us more since we were going to “fill the truck”. Of course they didn’t want to hear any reason, and we had to move and didn’t have time or resources to call the whole deal off. On top of being some of the rudest/laziest people I’ve dealt with (showed up late, took a million breaks, acted smug), they pretty much made us throw away part of our belongings since they wouldn’t fit in the truck they had already filled. Mind you beforehand, we had communicated with American Moving and Freight a whole inventory of things, and we had measured every single piece of furniture and the such. So they had no excuse to show up like that. In the end, part of the stuff I had bought with my hard earned money a few years back had to be ditched to the side of the dumpster. Also they made us sign their papers and didn’t even want to give us copies of it! I have copies because I took pictures of the paperwork. Still, we had to pay $4000+ more (by the end of it) than initially estimated by American Moving and Freight.

In the end, they loaded up the truck and left.

It took them over 1 month, 37 days to be precise, for them to get it together and bring us our stuff. And only because we threatened them. Their customer service kept saying they did not have a trailer ready to get our stuff on the way. This for a few weeks (when they were in the mood to pick up the phone).

My SO is disabled, and basically sleeping on the floor for that long has not been good for either of us, but more so for him. He is getting medical attention, and will be fine. But still, they’re literally playing and preying on people’s misery.

In the end, he called them and said he was going to call the police and report all of our belongings as stolen if we didn’t get them within a few days.

And look at how things work, the very next day our stuff was on the way. In the hands of a different company.

- Alpha Van Lines

Okay, avoid these people at all costs. They were THE rudest people ever. And the laziest. Their lack of professionalism was appalling.

They delivered, asked for more money than agreed upon (because they had to walk more than 75ft) threatening to leave without giving us our stuff, and were overall an awful experience that I am only glad is over.

I don’t know how they were handling our stuff, but, as we’re going through it, we’re finding more and more damages. Asides from the fact that some of our things never made it to us. So far we are 4-5 boxes missing. Nothing major, but still, things we had paid for it. Also our furniture has scratches and chips in several spots. They even damaged some antiques we had. Including a Native American sculpted lamp. We are trying to get a reimbursement, but I’m not holding my breath on it.

In conclusion:

We’ve followed some guidelines for these kind of situations, and nothing has sorted any effect. Even reporting them to the Better Business Bureau and the state Attorney General was useless. As apparently they operate in a gray area of legality, hence making them able to get away with all sorts of acts. The whole process has drained me of all my savings. From an initial estimate of $6500ish, I ended up paying just a little over $12000. I am furious and depressed. Because this is just one more example of the system allowing these “services” to exist.

I hope you’ve found this post helpful, and be careful out there, don’t fall for any of these schemes if possible.

[cblgblog]

Sorry I’m advance but one of my other favorite accounts just reblogged a Tony scene and people are talking about Civil War and how it made them Stan Tony, and how when they watch that movie they hate team cap👀 Then someone was all about how he was sleep deprived and how much pressure he was under and couldn’t understand how people didn’t like Tony because. Someone literally said that when someone says they don’t like Tony in Civil War they say “did you watch the same movie as me.” I’m baffled. Oddly enough someone else said, “he just wants to help everyone.” Sorry for the rant but I think people forget about what the accords are and what it would mean for people. Side note, I hope you’re having a great day/night 😀

No sorry needed!

I feel you man, I do. Honestly, I’ve unfollowed people based on similar posts when I was in especially Done moods, so.

Look on the one hand, the movie would’ve been a narrative failure if everyone was in favor of one side or the other, right? The whole point of the damn thing—besides giving the Mouse overlords more money—was to spark discussion, debate. Which, yeah, we’ll call that the tame description for what actually happened. But just, the thing was meant to split the fanbase so in that regard…winning? Thanks, I guess?

Film is also very obviously subjective, different strokes for different folks, so yeah, ten people can watch a movie and none of them are gonna see the exact same film. Let’s try to remember that this is, in theory anyway, a good thing. I just read a professional film review yesterday where I had the same reaction. What film were you watching, dude? Incidentally his reviewing partner said the same thing.

So honestly, no, they weren’t watching the same film as you or I or anyone else, because everyone brings their own biases and experiences and knowledge and interests into a thing, and that’s always going to flavor how it’s viewed. Again, let’s try to remember that this is good. In theory. Heavy on the theory.

That out of the way? Let’s get into Tony specifically so his uber stans can find this and scream at me on anon as though I just shot RDJ with a nuke.

Oh yeah, he was stressed. Oh, he was sleep deprived. Yeah, I’ve heard that. And that it’s Pepper’s fault, if she hadn’t left the poor baby, if she was there to rein him in, he’d be fine dammit, leave the baby alone!

Here’s the thing. You know who gets a pass on their shit behavior when they’re upset or tired? Actual babies. Actual babies and toddlers, and children, up to a point. Because they actually cannot always help themselves. Their bodies and brains are different, they have not learned better.

When you’re a 50-year-old man who’s supposedly the world’s bestest superhero, who wants, wants to be in charge of protecting the whole world? You need a little more self-control than that. The sleep deprived excuse works if you snap at someone before you’ve had your coffee, not for this. Roseanne Barr didn’t get to blame Ambien for her racism, Tony doesn’t get to handwave CW away because oops, I was tired.

Really? You’re a superhero, dude. Most of your teammates are tired too, that’s part of the gig. If you crash and burn this badly without your afternoon nap, fucking hang up the armor and go back to your billionaire playboy lifestyle.

Speaking of that, sure, right. It’s Pepper’s fault because she left him. Put aside the argument on whether that was justified or not (cough, it was and she should’ve stayed away even though they are adorable together). It’s not Pepper’s job to keep Tony sane. It’s not any partner’s job to do that for anyone. If she wants out, she has a right to that, without Tony going off the rails and blaming it on her. Seriously, he says part of the reason he backed the Accords was to “split the difference” with Pepper.

Dude. You were an asshole and you lost your girl. You destroyed all your suits, turned an emotional and mental corner in IM 3…and then relapsed 4 minutes later I guess because Whedon. Either way, Tony admits himself that he does not want to stop. So instead of doing that, or finding another partner who can accept that, you back an unjust international law that pits you against your team, your supposed friends? Go to therapy, have a pint of ice cream, cry into your pillow, send her more of those strawberries you sent her in IM 2 that she’s allergic to. You don’t go trying to change international law in ways that could ultimately affect millions of people because your girl left you.

Honestly—and thank God they didn’t do this but—the only way the Pepper excuse works in excusing his behavior in any way is if she’d died. Or been severely injured like Happy in IM 3. Still wouldn’t be okay, but, like Quill messing up their chance to stop Thanos because Gamora died, it would’ve been more understandable. Understandable, not excusable, and the way the MCU treats their women as manpain fodder, we’re probably legit lucky we didn’t get this.

As for him wanting to help everyone. He does in fact want that, I think. The problem is that his need to feel like he’s doing that is stronger than his rational mind, or his want to actually help in a constructive way.

Tony is too smart. He’s dumb as hell in many instances, mostly involving people and relationships, but he’s also too smart, and he’s been told for too long that he’s smart, and he’s bought into it. Ultron. Suit of armor around the world, protects the world, no more alien threats. It’s a simple concept on paper that fails in execution. So there are people with dangerous powers. Okay, we’ll make a set of laws to keep them from being dangerous, problem solved. But again, it isn’t.

Tony is not used to problems he cannot solve. He’s a genius, right? He can fix anything. He should be able to fix anything. That’s how he feels. But not everything is zeros and ones and circuits, things that can be fixed mechanically like his armors can. The people he wants to protect are not built that way. But he needs to feel like he’s doing something, because he’s terrified of what happens to the world if he doesn’t. So he creates these simple solutions to complex problems. The suit of armor, the Accords. They sound good in theory, but the problems they’re trying to solve are bigger than they are. And Tony, way back in IM 1, he sat back for years, clueless that his weapons were being used for bad things. He says it to Cap in CW. When he found out what his weapons were being used for, he went in and stopped it. Whether or not he should’ve known that already is a separate issue here. The point here is that when he found out, too late or not, he went in and did something about it.

Tony needs to do something about it. Again, go back to Cap in AoU, Tony’s nightmare sequence. Steve asks Tony why he didn’t save them. Tony’s ultimate nightmare is that he sits back and does nothing, and his inaction causes everyone to die. Which is where you get Ultron. Something he came up with because of what he saw in space in Avengers 1, then doubled down on in AoU. It’s where you get the Accords. Oops, he caused someone to die, he killed Charles Spencer. Must do something about that right now so it doesn’t happen again, and he won’t have to feel this guilt. He should be collaborating with others to come up with solutions (no Bruce in AoU doesn’t count because Bruce was dumb there), or at the very least, taking more time to think through the repercussions of the things he puts out there. But he doesn’t, because he’s got his savior complex that tells him that he alone can and must fix this, and because he’s too dumb to realize how not-smart he is in certain areas.

“We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I’m game.”

Isn’t that what he says in CW, or something very close to it? Whatever form that takes. That’s the issue, right there, whatever form that takes. Realistically, yes, there should be laws regarding people with powers, the same way there are special laws pertaining to people who carry guns, or people who are licensed to fly planes. You have a thing/can do a thing that not everyone else does, so there are regulations pertaining to that thing. Laws change with the times, they always have. Some new technology comes up, eventually there will be laws that regulate it. As there should be, honestly. The issue with the Accords, Steve’s issue with the Accords, was not the basic idea. He says as much. He says that it could work, but there would have to be safeguards. Safeguards that are not in the Accords that Tony wants him to sign.

It's not a matter of oh, fuck the law, there should be no law governing these people, they’re above it. The problem is that the law as it’s presented here is unjust. There’s what, a month between Lagos and Ross coming by to tell them about the Accords? A month is not enough time to properly analyze such a big issue, Especially when you’re reacting out of fear, which is what happened with Lagos. People died because of an Enhanced person, an Avenger, in this case. Lawmakers don’t want that to happen again, they especially don’t want the political shit storm that comes with it. Damn, we look like we were asleep at the switch here, not having anything to throw at this problem earlier. Quick, let’s throw together this thing so no one can say we’re not addressing the problem.

Patriot Act of 2001, anyone? 9/11 happened, the public were rightfully terrified, the US said oh man, these are unprecedented circumstances, we’ve never had this before. Don’t worry though, we’re on this, we’re protecting you. The reality being that that bill simply gave the government too much power, most of it being used against people who were not actually threats, and it’s debatable, to say the very least, whether or not that law helped more than it hurt.

No law is perfect. No law ever will be. It’s not possible. We still have to strive for perfection though, have to aim there so that the laws we get are as close to fair as possible. Tony’s a big deal. If not for his “whatever form that takes” attitude, he might’ve been able to use his influence to pressure lawmakers into coming up with a fairer bill. Hey, I’m me, the public loves me, I will endorse this bill publicly and work on getting the rest of the team to sign, but you need to change this and this and this first, or no deal. Instead, he took the easy way out, the quickest, easiest way for him to feel like he’s atoned for his sins without actually doing anything. Whatever form that takes.

Tony’s not wrong because he backs the creation of a law that addresses these things. He’s wrong because he says himself that he does not care what that law does, specifically, so long as it exists. He’s wrong because he violates said law upteen times during the movie, while preaching to team Cap about what assholes they are for not backing it. He’s wrong because he cares more about feeling as though he’s tackled a problem than he does about taking the time to make sure that the thing he’s proposing is actually a good idea. He’s wrong because of what he does with Bucky, though that’s honestly a separate issue, for the purposes of this discussion.

Anyway, that was longer than I ever wanted it to be. Damn. Next time you see a comment about CW being the reason people stan Tony, just remember there are other people out there who stopped stanning Tony because of that movie. Everyone’s entitled to see a piece of media however they see it, and although the Tony stans are often the loudest, there are plenty of like-minded people out there who share your take on events. Block who you need to, unfollow who you need to, blacklist what you need to, and don’t let them get you down.

Hang in there, and have an awesome day :)

[iced-blood]

The Aftermath of Conquest.

In honor of The Bestest Boy™’s birthday, I gift upon you Dragon Dad.

For @thejanestofdoes​.

“I half-expected you to be one of those guys who, like. Rents out a theme park or something for a kid’s birthday. Hires a full circus, or his favorite band, or something … y’know, extravagant.”

Seto rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat; even a cheap, plastic lawn chair looked like a throne when he used it. “I’m rich, but I’m not stupid. Gestures like that are hollow. They cheapen everything. If he grows up used to the idea that the world will bend to his every whim, excitement will cease to exist. Could I pay Tom Kenny enough to dress up as the Ice King and ‘crash’ the party? Maybe.”

Something crossed Seto’s face, and Yugi had the sudden idea that this was a new concept, and that the elder Kaiba liked it more than he wanted to admit.

“But of course you won’t do that. You want to teach him that he has to earn his way.”

“Nonsense.” Seto waved dismissively. “This isn’t about earning. It’s about what will actually mean something to him when he eventually looks back on it. He’s four, Yugi, he’s barely going to remember this day. Even if I did rent out a theme park or buy him a pony or commission a fucking statue or whatever, is he actually going to care? What do you remember about your fourth birthday?”

Yugi chewed on his lip. “… Mama says I was real insistent on carrying my own cake to the table after dinner. I tripped on the carpet and faceplanted into strawberry frosting. I cried. My uncle Satoshi laughed so hard he had to go to the hospital. I don’t remember any of it, but the rest of my family does.” He blinked. “I guess that proves your point, doesn’t it?”

“Mm.”

The back gardens of the Kaiba Estate were more than lavish enough for a party, anyway, especially since Kiko had roped the entire house staff into setting up games and attractions not unlike those found at any given state fair. She was currently manning the whack-a-mole, while Roland took up his shift in the dunking booth.

“When Mokuba looks back on today, he’s going to know that the people here cared enough about him to make something special for his first birthday party. These aren’t professional. They aren’t to code. I had to rebuild basically everything just to make sure nobody would break their damn necks. But there’s heart in this, to use your grandfather’s pandering nonsense. He’s going to remember that he’s loved. All he would ever know if I showed him pictures of an empty Six Flags is that I’m rich, vain, and stupid. He’s going to know that well enough from experience; he won’t need to be reminded.”

“Wait. First birthday party?” Yugi blinked. “He’s never had a party before?”

“Attempting to convince my fa — my predecessor,” Seto cleared his throat just a bit too loudly, “to throw a party for a toddler was one of the most catastrophic failures of my life. He quite literally threw me out of his office.”

Yugi flinched.

Then it was Seto’s turn to flinch as a sharp, keening wail assaulted their ears.

Mokuba sat huddled on the grass, clutching his leg, having tripped over a skipping rope and sprawled flat on his face. Even from here, Seto and Yugi could both see blood dripping from the boy’s knee.

Before Yugi was halfway out of his seat, Seto was three strides out from his; but by then, Joey had already swept up to the boy from where he’d been haunting the snack table. He squatted down and immediately started placating the young Kaiba; his voice, usually so loud and boisterous and unavoidable, was soft and melodic.

“Hey, hey-hey-hey … what’s up, there, little dude? Whatcha do? C’mon, c’mon, lemme see. Let’s see.” Mokuba, sniffling up a storm, eventually removed his hands. Joey hissed. “Ooooooh. That’s a rough one. Looks like a dragon bite.” He hunkered back on his heels. “Hey! You never told me you fight dragons! Are you a knight?”

Surprise and confusion waged war on Mokuba’s little face, and all at once he forgot that he’d been crying. “Me? Knight? Wif armor?”

“Yeah!” Joey grinned that infectious grin of his. “Man, you gotta wear armor when you’re fightin’ dragons. They’re tricky, y’know.” He plucked up the rope and waggled it around. “Looks like you scared ‘em off and made ‘em leave their tail here. Y’know what that makes this? A trophy!”

“Trophy,” Mokuba repeated solemnly.

Joey nodded. Then he stood up. “Oi!” he called out, looking Seto’s way. “You got some armor anywhere, there, Kaiba? Gotta make sure the kid’s equipped! Who knows what might come crashin’ his party next time?”

Seto looked … stunned.

Utterly and irretrievably flummoxed.

Then he said: “… I think I have just the thing.”

He headed into the house to fetch a first-aid kit.

This isn’t where I expected this piece to go, but y’know what? I can dig it.

[thebestsandiever]

Regarding the chaos and aftermath of the Verstappen crash at the 2021 British GP

Before I begin, this is solely my own thoughts on the crash and aftermath of it, resources and intel being from various news reports, articles, interviews, social media reactions/on track fans reactions, commentators, careers etc. Also important, this post was made around 11 PM CEST, so other news after that or in the midst of this, I haven’t considered.

  Comments and discussions are welcome, though remember to keep the tone guys. I rarely comment on anything on Tumblr, but looking at this chaos, I felt like sharing a bit.

  Starting on the incident that happened, I don’t believe that I can clearly decide what happened and who caused, and the only comments I have is that I believe it was a racing incident that has no bad intention. We hear in conclusion from sources (there was an after analysis) (e.g. also Lewis’ Sky Sports interview) that both could have given each other space. Lewis trying to get in, and Max defending his position. People who think Lewis did it intentionally clearly have no common sense, no one wants Max to end up going to the hospital (but he is fine so no worries). Of course, nothing excuses that a crash happened, and it’s a big shame.

  All the hate Lewis is getting should tone down, I think it’s fair to be critical in perspective of racing which consists of the crash and his comments regarding it, but anything that comments on something other than that with negativity, shouldn’t be.

  Something that many F1 fans have brought up and Horner I believe (slightly) is Lewis 15+ years of experience in Formula one and numerous of championships. Which I think in any sport or topic isn’t a fair argument, because mistakes happen to anyone, no one is immune to that, though this is not me calling the crash a mistake, because I don’t believe that is the right word. It’s more Lewis knowing the danger of closing in and Max of course defending himself on track, and this is the end result. And if anyone was a viewer of the Euro 2020 Football Cup Finals, it’s a bit like the Southgate criticism on the penalties.

  This also applies to all the fans who bring up Max’ aggressive and old nickname “crashstappen” from his early F1 career. Whether you have your impression from Netflix’ Drive to Survive or the fact that you’re new, anyone will agree that Max has matured greatly both on and off track, in my opinion one of the calmest drivers on the grid considering the amount of criticism, hate and burden that he gets/has. The fact is that there have been some people on Twitter (when I now and later comment on fans and reactions, it’s usually the very chaotic Twitter), that mentions Verstappen’s past, the infamous Baku and this season’s races where Lewis is the one who, in their words, “has backed up and gave space” (the reason I say their words is because I can’t quite remember so I won’t say that I know for sure). But again, as I mentioned, this is not valid, because it doesn’t excuse what happened today. Every track is a title fight, and previous races and tactics doesn’t apply to this. What I mean is that because Lewis gave space previous races, does it mean that Verstappen should crash? Or worded differently, because Max didn’t give space like he has previous times, that “it was coming” or that he should crash? Biggest takeaway from this is that past and future shouldn’t mean more than what happened in the present. This leading me on to a bit of the hate Max got which I think was quite undeserving, especially under his circumstances, which is f1 fans (mostly Twitter) calling it “karma” and using his young past to somehow “justify” the crash.

Also I really disliked the videos of “British fans” (we can’t actually determine that all were British, but it was home track) cheering when the crash happened, but in general I think cheering on a crash will always be awful even if you’re favourite driver gains position. Gladly though, it quickly died down on the stands as they realized it was hard impact. Very Euro 2020 vibes, though a much better English crowd- Just kidding, maybe you can see I’m not happy when any kind of fans act out of order (also I don’t hate English football fans, but sadly, the ones who make stupid actions overshadow the rest).

  Now I also want to comment a bit on the drivers and teams’ comments and the PR.

  So regarding Max’ social media post about the race. I honestly think it’s fair for him to be upset, no one wants to be taken out on the first lap considering that he is leading while a VERY good and competitive Lewis is trailing behind. My first reaction was that it was quite an aggressive post and the part about him unfollowing Lewis (if that is correct, I haven’t seen it myself yet) was obviously implying that he isn’t happy. Though, emotions run high as well does Lewis’ celebration reaction. I know his mind is to win on track and he has always been outspoken about that fact. Also I don’t quite believe that Max’ comments were full heartedly himself, but the PR team considering he’s just been at the hospital. I’m not happy with his post at all, but I understand both from a PR perspective and a driver’s. I believe almost any driver on the track would have said something like that in an interview if it happened to them. This just happened to be online because of health circumstances.

  Regarding Marko and Horner, I must disagree with their aggressiveness or at least the way they decide to comment on it. I do understand the anger, considering the championship but also concern for Max (anyone who knows their relationship knows that they care about him.) Again, I have to say emotions run high and if anything, managers are good at, and this is not specifically only attacking Horner, but it’s stirring up tension. I would say it’s fair for him to say, and quite expected, not saying I think it’s fair for Lewis to receive though (hopefully you get what I mean).

  Commenting a bit on Lewis’ Sky Sports F1 interview, we can confirm he didn’t know about Max going to the hospital before celebrating. Anyone who wins has the right to celebrate, especially at home, so props for his win, though unfortunately through a crash (this meaning Verstappen was his biggest threat on track). Though I wasn’t pleased about the commenting on Max. This leads further into the interview.

  We get Lewis’ insight on the incident and where he sees Max as the aggressive one, both not giving each other space and having the crash as end result. So in conclusion, Max trying to defend his position and Lewis trying to get in, fair. Please watch the interview, because it clears up a lot of what is spoken about in the media.  

My thoughts on Lewis’ response both before and after hearing about Max going to the hospital in the Sky Sports interview, is that he probably could’ve/should’ve toned down on Max being the aggressor, as they were both considering what the crash led to, and him saying that it was just about who was going to give space until it was too late. It kind of goes against what he just said. But I do agree that Lewis has the right to celebrate because he simply won. I also liked that he had championship spirit saying that considering what happened, it didn’t take the shine away from his win. It may sound disrespectful, and I do still kind of think it is, but on the other side, it’s him being competitive, and both drivers have each other’s respect on being able to fight on track. So he’s got the spirit, just maybe not the right interview to show the most competitive spirit (I think the most competitive spirit/response he’s shown this 2021 season)

  A bit more on his spirit and fighting on track is seen from Lawrence Barreto who tells us that Lewis has the “game on” spirit and is ready for attacks on track but there needs to be respect on track “and if not this will happen more often I guess.” - Lewis. Just a bit more closure from another source, I like that he is more responsive, but this does make it sound like he blames Max for it. I think any driver who are up against each other have the right or it makes sense to give the majority of the blame to the other, they have their own rear mirrors (see it from their own perspective when they drive, quite literally), but it isn’t the best comment to be honest. Since he says himself, both could’ve given space.

  My biggest disagreement that I must mention is the penalty Lewis got, which was the 10 second penalty. Assessing the severity of the crash with high speed, 51G impact, first lap etc. I think the penalty didn’t really serve much of a penalty, but this is also me being critical of the penalty system. These 10 second penalties don’t really make you lose that much of position (depends on car), also this is not a blow at Lewis but just the system. Afterwards, he was also given 2 penalty points. I think compared to someone like Yuki who also got 2 penalty points for crossing the white line twice while entering the pits and George yesterday at the Sprint Race (1 penalty point + 3 place grid penalty) are quite different but looking at the number, there isn’t a big difference in what’s given. But all of this penalty talk is on the stewards and system, so nothing against Lewis and he did take his penalty that was given.

  I did not comment much on the actual incident as I have a hard time really deciding (I can admit I see Lewis unintentionally drift a bit in + this being a very fast turn, I believe just a misjudgment but so many fans think it was intentional), so therefore do read and watch the current and coming interviews and articles to get some racing perspective. It keeps updating and even drivers like Riccardo, Leclerc, Alonso etc. have given their comments, and who better to listen to than professionals themselves. So I encourage you to get perspective there, because I know not all of us are the most technical fans, and we tend to comment by being led through a bias and crowd.

  But if we’re feeling a bit tired from today, so far the drivers are leaning towards a racing incident. They speak of it as quite unclear to determine, basically saying that both drivers could’ve done and were doing something --> could’ve given space.

  We all have to remember this situation is a big deal since it’s the only two to be fair at the moment, who are competing for the championship. Both mad talented and on each other every track. Media blows it out more than them and before we know it, they’re back to what they do best, which is drive.

  Heart goes out to Max, it was quite an impact and if not his worst crash so far in his career. His team radio was quite scary to listen to, I’ve never heard him so shook, but he is doing quite fine at the moment, and he will hopefully recover well enough for the next race.

  As well for Lewis, emotions are running high and people are quick to assume and accuse without using common sense that Lewis wouldn’t endanger Max or himself. He has every right to celebrate a win and props for him winning.

  In conclusion to those who has taken the time to read, don’t let my thoughts be any decider, but more so a way to understand and be a bit more open minded. We are all subjective in the end and I try to see from both perspectives and to be critical as well, not being led by others’ opinions. I’ve stated my sources, and this is only my overall thoughts at the very moment, so remember, as drivers evolve and move on, we do too.

  I again encourage you to watch and research with an open mind so not being led on bias, especially if you’re willing to spread anything on the topic. It serves a greater outcome than sprouting from emotions and lack of information, as we have well seen from this sport. Because media does influence and we as an audience is a part of it. So I must remind again, that this is simply my thoughts.

[joshuas]

sue me

♫ pairing: han jisung x gender neutral reader

♫ genre: college/university student!au, slice-of-life, crack, fluff, best friends to lovers

♫ word count: 3.9k

♫ warnings: nil of note!

♫ summary: just chaos and lawsuits?

♫ tagging: @fluffyskzclub​

♫ a/n: the seventh addition to my christmas drabbles! i don’t really know what i’m doing anymore ;-;

♫ skz christmas drabbles: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

The door jingled as three figures huddled through the store together,

“It’s so cold!” One of them — Jeongin, exclaimed, bringing your attention to them from your organising,

“Lucky it’s warm in here. Hey, guys!” You waved as they approached, looking at the display of records and CDs behind you.

“Y/N!” Jisung approached you first, pulling you in for your signature handshake.

The taller boy, Seungmin, scoffed, looking down on the two of you,

“I can’t believe the two of you still do that elaborate greeting.”

“You’re just salty that you haven’t been friends with someone since childhood and had the awesomeness to come up with something like this.” Jisung defended.

Bitterness bubbled in your stomach,

Right. Friends.

The two of you had established your friendship way back in daycare when you lent Jisung your crayons... reluctantly, at that. But you were kind of desperate to make friends, so you accepted his request. What you had underestimated though, were his motives. Jisung had no intention on actually giving your crayons back. Long story short, hair was pulled, paper was thrown, including scissors at one point, all resulting in Jisung eating your crayons so that you would never get them back. You had never been more shocked in your entire life... well you were two-years-old, so there wasn’t much that you had experienced. However, your parents, after hearing of this fight, insisted on taking you to visit Jisung in the hospital (he had just digested crayons, it’d be concerning if he didn’t at least get it checked out), giving him a CD of your favourite songs for him to listen to. How a two-year-old was supposed to appreciate that was beyond you, but when he came back to daycare with a set of colour pencils and drew pictures beside you, the two of you were inseparable since.

However, once you had gotten into university, the two of you had exchanged more than friendly comments, making you reconsider his place as your best friend after all. I mean, did he make your heart flutter? Yes. Did you miss him whenever he wasn’t around, even when he was being a pain? Yes. Was he incredibly talented, handsome and amazing that you couldn’t help but fall for him?... Yes! You had been trying to figure out ways to hint to him what you really thought of him, but he was about as clueless as Cher in the movie Clueless. And seeing as New Years was round the corner, you had resolved to yourself that you’d confess to him as one of your New Years resolutions... It was now just a question of how...

As Jisung pulled you in for the final part - a hug, you inhaled his familiar scent, interrupting your internal monologue, your mind calming from its racing, seconds before.

“How may I help you guys today?” You brushed your clothes, trying to maintain an air of professionalism.

“Jisung dragged us all the way here to get some of your famous ramen.” Jeongin explained, sighing.

“You came all the way to a music store... to try my ramen?” You asked confusedly.

“I don’t understand the logic behind it as well. But we did come all this way, in the snow as well.” Seungmin looked at you pointedly.

“...okay. Wait here, I’ll make it.”

“Oh my god, I love you Y/N,” Jisung called out as you went to the staff room, your heart skipping a beat at his comment.

Sighing, you turned on the kettle,

Why is he like this? How does crayon eating boy have this much power over me?

“Be careful, it’s hot!” You passed the steaming bowls of ramen and chopsticks to each of the boys, as the four of you sat around the till.

Bowl dangerously balanced on his elevated leg as he tried to pull apart the wooden chopsticks, Jisung flashed you a grateful smile,

“You know, Y/N, one day you’re going to make someone extremely happy with—“ He yelped as he jolted from the force of taking the wooden chopsticks apart, the bowl tipping off his leg and onto the carpeted floor. The red ramen soup soaking into the light carpet, staining it.

“Oh no! Y/N, I’m so sorry!” Jisung exclaimed, frantically grabbing at tissues from the counter, dabbing them on the ground.

You bit back a smile,

Of course, it was Jisung. But ugh it’s going to be a pain to get that dry cleaned...

“I might just have to sue you for that!” You said sarcastically.

Jisung looked at you wide-eyed,

“Oh! I— isn’t there anything else I can do? I can help out at the store for the rest of the break!” Jisung said frantically.

“Ohhh, no I’ll have to have sue you. Company policy.” You hid a smile, deciding to tease him further.

“Oh. Um, okay.” He blinked, unaware, “Let me just get a lawyer to represent me— Seungmin! You’re a lawyer, right? You need to represent me for this case.” Jisung grabbed Seungmin’s arm, looking at him pleadingly,

“I’ve literally only had one class and isn’t this a jo—“ Seungmin broke off as you stared him down, imploring him to partake in the practical joke you were playing on the other boy.

You sighed, “Okay. Seems like it’s sorted. We’ll meet up in two weeks. Hopefully, you’ll have your money ready, because I’m going to win this.”

“It’s Opposite Day. So you won��t, and I will, okay?” Jisung gave you a quick smile, dragging Seungmin towards the door.

“But, my ramen!” Seungmin complained.

“No time, we need to win.” Jisung dragged Seungmin out of the store.

You shared a glance with Jeongin,

This is going to be interesting...

“You aren’t a parent, nor a teacher, what are you doing here?” Jeongin warily watched you approach, narrowly avoiding the little kids running through your path.

“I need your help.” You said solemnly.

“How did you know I was doing work experience at the daycare?” Jeongin raised an eyebrow sceptically.

“Believe it or not, Seungmin can be extremely candid and direct when Jisung is harassing him on the other side of a phone call. Also, you’re working towards your teaching degree. It doesn’t seem too weird that you’re working at a daycare.” You noted, taking in your surroundings.

“Oh, alright. What can I help you with?” Jeongin said reluctantly.

“I need you to dress up like an old businessman and pretend to be my lawyer.” You said quickly, thrusting a back-rubbing cane into his hands before getting ready to bolt.

“Wait! Why?” Jeongin looked at you sceptically yet again.

You sighed,

“Look, I need Jisung to think it’s the real deal, otherwise...” You stopped, squinting at the two figures attempting to act casual outside the daycare.

“Oh my god, are they spying on us?”

“It was most definitely Jisung’s idea.” Jeongin joined you, staring as Jisung attempted to casually lean against a car, trying to converse with a stony-faced Seungmin, not long before setting off the car alarm and yelling at Seungmin to run.

You watched the two of them take off,

“Looks like we’ll need to up our game, Mr Yang. Or should I say... Prosecutor Yang?” You smiled pleadingly at him.

“Fine...”

“Let me get this straight, we’re spying on them now even though this whole lawsuit thing isn’t actually going to happen?” Jeongin asked, bringing his jacket closer to him as he entered the University café.

“Well, it’s not like we can’t put any effort in because then we’d be admitting defeat to this... joke? Regardless, we need to win.” You pushed your cap further down after nodding at Chan in acknowledgment.

You sat down in a secluded area of the café, Chan approaching to greet you,

“Why is it always that chaos is brought to this café by this friendship group?” Chan looked pointedly at Jeongin as he shrugged.

“How do you know that shenanigans are to take place? Can’t we just enjoy our coffee in a secluded area of the cafe in our spy clothes without suspicion?” You asked, slightly defensive.

“...no. Anyway, what can I get for your spy mission?” Chan asked, eyes glinting with amusement.

“I’ll have an iced americano.” Jeongin.

“And I’ll have a—“ you broke off as Chan interrupted you,

“New York Cheesecake? I know. Jisung and you come here to get some like every Friday. Speaking of Jisung, why are you sitting over here instead of with them over there?” He pointed to the two boys huddled at the table, Seungmin slightly bored, checking his phone regularly, and Jisung talking animatedly to him. Jisung, noticing Seungmin’s disinterest, grabbed his phone, getting up and placing it in the trash can before heading back to a very much annoyed Seungmin.

“It’s... a long story. Very chaotic! You probably wouldn’t want to hear it.” You ushered Chan away, Jeongin looked at you smugly,

“You and Jisung, huh? It’s almost as if you were... soulmates. Now I think I know why you need my help.”

You scoffed,

“I don’t need your help.”

“Oh really? Then I guess I’ll get going—“ You pulled him back into his seat, the chair scraping as it was pulled erratically from both directions. The commotion caused Jisung and Seungmin to pause, looking at you two, eyes widening in recognition.

You looked at Jeongin, panicked, before throwing the money at a stunned Chan and rushing out of the cafe.

“Don’t give my cheesecake to Jisung! We both know that he’ll eat it instead of giving it to me.”

[09:38] (Jeongin) Hey, make sure you come on time.

[09:40] (You) Why do we have to go to the shops for this?

[09:41] (Jeongin) sadly the courts were all booked out with proper criminal cases, so the shops will have to do to resolve this fake lawsuit. just get ready and come quickly!

[09:43] (You) fine, fine. I’ll get my finest attire on. See you soon.

You placed your phone on your bed before dressing up to the best of your ability, steeling yourself as you looked in the mirror,

I will tell him how I feel... no matter how complicated this lawsuit thing becomes.

“Look who finally decided to show.” Jisung drawled, sipping at his soft drink. You looked him up and down appraisingly, ignoring your beating heart... he cleaned up more than nicely.

“Okay, shall we get started?” You clapped your hands, sitting opposite Seungmin and Jisung... and next to a very poorly disguised Jeongin.

“Interesting outfit choice, Jeongin.” Seungmin noted.

“What’s even more interesting is that Y/N selected Jeongin as her representative. He’s not even a lawyer!” Jisung looked at you triumphantly.

“Neither am—“ Seungmin interrupted, Jisung shushing him before he could complete his sentence.

“I thought you were going to dress up like a business man! Not some young mobster. This isn’t a fanfic. You’re not the main character.” You hissed under your breath, leaning slightly towards Jeongin so he could hear.

“And what? You are?” He scoffed, before smiling widely at the two in front of him.

“Right, so Jeongin and I have discussed the case beforehand.” Seungmin nodded at Jeongin.

“We’ve decided that we’ll put together a bunch of trials, and whoever wins those will win this lawsuit.” Seungmin proposed.

“I... feel like this isn’t how lawsuits work.” Jisung said doubtfully.

“This is what I was taught in law school!” Seungmin defended.

“Gotta trust the guy who attended law school.” You pointed out.

“What do you mean attended? He’s still at law—“ Jisung broke off as Seungmin cleared his throat, pointedly.

“The first challenge being, who can make the two of us the best milkshake.”

“Ready to lose, Y/N?” Jisung raised an eyebrow competitively at you.

“You wish, Han Jisung!” You sprinted to the other side of the food court, lining up as Jisung hurried after you, ending up directly behind you.

[20 minutes later]

You sighed loudly,

This is taking too long.

You politely pushed in front of people to the front of the line,

“Hey, are you guys right or do you need help? Because I can help out if you want. It’ll help you get through this queue a lot faster.” You asked the worker at the register.

“I can too!” Jisung sidled up beside you as you narrowed your eyes at him.

The worker looked at you sceptically before sighing in defeat,

“You know what, you may as well help because we’re so swamped. Grab some gloves and a hairnet and get started.” The worker let you through.

That was easy enough.

This is not easy.

“Chocolate ice cream thick shake for Sara!” You called out, frantically pushing the lid on the shake before handing it to the customer. Jisung rushed beside you,

“No-fat, non-skim, skinny latte with soy milk, one and a half sugars and a drizzle of vanilla for Jacques?” Jisung called out,

“Actually, can I change my—“ Jacques started.

“No.” Jisung deadpanned.

“Ready to admit defeat?” You smirked.

“Never. We’re yet to make the best milkshakes for Seungmin and Jeongin.” Jisung ran to the blender, chucking in as many ingredients as possible.

“Two can play at that game.” You said resolutely, approaching another blender, using as many ingredients as possible.

This is either going to be a disaster or a five star Michelin dish in the making.

“Stop. Stealing. The. Caramel. Sauce.” You gave Jisung a death glare as you wrestled the sauce bottle, the manager of the store glaring at the both of you,

“Alright, that’s enough. The two of you need to leave. You basically ditched serving the customers and did this. I don’t even know what this is but you need to stop using our resources for it.”

“Wait but it’s the finishing touch!” Jisung pleaded as the manager shook his head resolutely.

You scoffed,

“Whatever. It’s not like we’re getting paid for this or anything. Which we should! In fact, I have a lawyer friend that could help me sue you. He’s very good and wins about... 100% of his clients’ cases.” You threatened.

The manager pinched the bridge of his nose,

“Half of the orders that you served came back with complaints so you really did nothing.”

“The people really don’t appreciate our talents.” Jisung gasped, offended.

“If you guys think you’re talents are in milkshake making, you really should reevaluate your...um...life choices.” The manager said sheepishly.

“Whatever, be prepared for a lawsuit! Let’s leave, Jisung.” You grabbed your milkshakes, grabbing Jisung’s arm and dragging him out of the store.

“100% track rate, you say? Have you admitted defeat already?” Jisung raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, shut up, Jisung. I was obviously talking about Jeongin.”

“Right...”

“Um. What is this?” Seungmin scrunched his face in disgust, looking at the... mess of two drinks in front of him and Jeongin.

“Milkshakes!” Jisung said excitedly.

“I know that. But why did it take so long to make... you didn’t poison it, did you?” Seungmin looked at the two of you skeptically.

“Just drink it and tell us who wins.” You sighed as they picked up their drinks, tentatively sipping and then tasting the other,

“We need time to confer, so we’re going to give you the next challenge. You’re going to have to... pick out the best present for each other, and we’ll judge that once we see it.” Jeongin shooed the two of you away, winking at you as Jisung took the lead, striding towards a craft store.

As you browsed around the store, closely following Jisung, you stopped at the crayons section, exhaling a small laugh.

Jisung turned around, confused, eyes wide, settling on the packet of crayons,

“I dibs getting that for you.”

“You can’t dibs getting a present for someone.” You said incredulously.

“Um, well if it’s a competition, yes I can.” Jisung retorted, hands on hips.

“So you’re telling me, that the best present you could ever get me is crayons? You wouldn’t get that for me normally?” You rolled your eyes, exasperated.

“Why should I?” Jisung said, confused.

“Let me remind you. Twenty or so years ago, a young Jisung eats my crayons in retaliation for getting told to give them back. Young Y/N visits young Jisung in hospital, giving him a free record as a gift. And Jisung never reimburses Y/N with another set of crayons. You know, with your track record, it’s not even accidental. It’s serial. Like serial killing but serial property damage. Honestly, I could extend that to this lawsuit, as well.” You defended.

“Okay one, it’s too late to do that... isn’t it? I don’t have enough money for both! And two, is all you’re saying that your ideal gift is a pack of crayons?!”

“Are you admitting defeat already?” You smirked.

“Pfft no! Give me— that—“ He grabbed the pack of crayons from you, heading to the counter to pay as you grabbed another pack, lining up behind him.

“You both bought each other the same gift?” Seungmin raised an eyebrow at the two of you.

“Not intentionally! Please don’t disqualify us.” Jisung defended, apologetic.

“You literally went to the same store.” Jeongin deadpanned.

“That’s—“

“Whatever, I don’t have time for this. I need to go to the hospital in a bit. Okay, here’s what you can do. Explain to us why you bought the gift for said person, and we’ll judge based on your response.” Seungmin checked his watch, leaning back in his chair.

“Jisung, you go first.” Jeongin gestured for Jisung to start.

“Okay, well the short story is that Y/N told me that it was their ideal gift. The long story is that Y/N called me a serial property damager, and I really can’t afford that being added to my list of offences and be sued further.” Jisung said a matter-of-factly.

“Oookay... anyway, Y/N! What’s your reasoning?” Seungmin turned to you.

“Hmm... okay well when I was a child, Jisung stole my crayons and ate them, somehow we became friends, and he never bought me crayons to reimburse me, so I decided to be the bigger person and buy him crayons to share. Honestly, you’d think he’d know how to by now.” You tutted as a soft pink colouring flooded Jisung’s cheeks.

“...what?” Jeongin blurted out.

“It doesn’t matter! Jisung and Y/N are both... odd personalities. I mean, no wonder they’re best friends.” Seungmin dismissed.

There was that “f” word again...

“Anyway, I don’t have time for this. We’ll deliberate again as you do another challenge. You’re going to have to race each other around the entire shopping centre. Whoever comes first, wins... that round. Obviously. Otherwise, there would’ve been no point to these other challenges.” Seungmin dismissed the two of you, getting you to start at the same time.

Is this what my life has come to? Racing the literal love of my life to show that I’m serious about a fake lawsuit?... I really need to reconsider my lifestyle choices... and friends.

You and Jisung were neck and neck, you huffed as you sprinted next to him,

“Why are you so caught up on this whole lawsuit thing? You and I both know that it’s fake.”

Jisung glanced at you through the corner of his eye, “Hff— I— hff— know that but fake lawsuit or not, it was one of my New Years resolutions to win it.”

You stopped,

“You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious.” He stopped in front of you.

“Well— I... who am I to stop you from achieving your goals? I forfeit.” You stepped back, relieved to be out of it.

“You can’t be serious,” Jisung said, slightly shocked,

“I need you to finish this! I can’t just win by default. That defeats the whole purpose. Actually try.” He challenged.

“This is so stupid, though.” You grumbled.

“You’re the one that proposed it. Why did you, if you don’t want to do it?” Jisung raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“I— ugh. To be honest, it started out as a joke but then I saw how serious you got about it! So, I decided to play along so I wouldn’t let you down.” You sighed.

“You’re right, I paid Seungmin $100 to represent me.” He sighed in sync with you.

“...you really need to stop doing that. First Minho, now Seungmin? Are you going to pay the entirety of your friendship group for being your friend?” You looked at him disappointedly.

He rolled his eyes, “Speaking of friends... why did you play along?” He asked, curious.

You inhaled sharply,

Now or never. No more friend-zoning.

“Do you know what my New Years resolution was?” You asked.

He shook his head, clueless,

“It was to confess my feelings for you. I’m not as great with words as you are, but Han Jisung, I like you. A lot. Even if you do crazy things like eating my crayons.” You closed your eyes, unwilling to view his reaction... only for a slight pressure to meet your lips.

Your eyes fluttered open, only to meet Jisung’s as he kissed you softly.

He pulled back, bringing you into a hug,

“You’re always going to hold that against me, aren’t you?” He chuckled, whispering that to you.

“We just kissed and that’s what you’re concerned about?” You lightly smacked his chest.

“Well, what else am I supposed to say? I kissed you. I don’t think that best friends do that. Do I need to say it explicitly? Okay then, I like you too!” He said, confused.

You rolled your eyes,

“Whatever. We better get going if we want to finish this race, and help you achieve your life goals!”

“Oh my gosh, Y/N. You’re such a supportive... lover? We’ll figure it out.” He held out your hand, dodging past people as you both sprinted down the mall.

You slowed as you approached Seungmin and Jeongin, dropping your hand from his grasp. Jisung turned back to you, confused.

You ushered him forward, smiling encouragingly,

“Go! Finish first. Achieve your goals.”

He paused, before taking your hand again, dragging you over to Seungmin and Jeongin, they looked up, equally as confused as you.

“We both forfeit.” He said, in between catching his breath.

“What? Why?” Jeongin started, as Seungmin groaned,

“You’re telling me, that I spent the time that I could’ve been sleeping, only for you to forfeit. You know what? It’s fine. Neither of you won anyway because drinking your milkshakes was the worst thing we had to suffer through since the time you both made us cake!”

You reeled back in mock offence, Seungmin sighed,

“I’m sorry if that was harsh. I’m working nights at the hospital.”

“Wait. What does a lawyer have to do at a hospital?” Jisung questioned, confused.

“Do— do you guys even listen to the things I say? I quit law school after one lesson and went back to medical school.” Seungmin said, exasperated.

“And no! You can’t have your money back. We’re leaving now anyway, so bye!” He grabbed Jeongin, running away from the two of you as fast as possible.

“You know, I lied about my New Years resolution.” Jisung spun you around to face him, your hand meeting his bicep.

“Oh no! How could I ever trust you again?” You sighed dramatically.

“Y/N— I was trying to be sentimental and tell you that our resolutions were the same but you ruined the moment!” He pouted, annoyed.

You laughed, grabbing his cheeks (jeekies ahhhhhhhhh they’re so cute right—),

“I’ll sue you if you don’t stop being so cute!”

“Ha! I’d like to see you try.”

➳ part eight?  |  masterlist!

[seerofmike]

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee. 

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching. 

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much. 

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons. 

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation. 

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason. 

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this. 

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down. 

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense. 

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact. 

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait. 

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy. 

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’ 

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

 this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO . 

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO. 

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again. 

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

 did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly. 

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more. 

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty. 

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate. 

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

[intoxicatingimmediacy]

How Tracee Ellis Ross and Daveed Diggs Bonded as Members of “the Curly-Hair Family”

Daveed Diggs was certain the Emmys had already happened—so certain, in fact, that he and his partner had booked a vacation for the day of the ceremony in September...

Vanity Fair: Can you guys tell me about when you first met? Was it on the set of Black-ish or before that?

Tracee Ellis Ross: Did we meet backstage at Hamilton?

Daveed Diggs: We must have, but I don’t remember most of that stuff. If I’m being honest, it was such a crazy time. So yeah, I’m sure we did then.

Ross: But I feel like we just did the obligatory—I was like, “thank you for being brilliant.” And you were like, “thank you for coming.”

Diggs: I’m sure I told you I was a huge fan of yours, because that’s true. I must have babbled something to you about The Lyricist Lounge. I don’t know if that was then or on the Black-ish set, but I’ve been a fan of yours for a very long time. And so I remember at some point feeling the need to just be like, just so you know, I know that you got bars, I watched you rap with Mos Def when he was up on a ledge and shit. Like I remember all that.

Ross: No, we actually had this conversation on Black-ish because I then told you the backstory on that, and the fact that it was so intense getting me to do those very, very limited amount of bars. And what Daveed does, he makes it look easy, but it is not. What these rappers and these lyricists and these artists do is not something that came naturally to my rhythmic talent. Yeah. So I remember, and by the way, I did not know who you were before going to the Broadway play, before going to see you on stage, but you are so dynamic, combined with the fact that we share the curly-hair family.

Diggs: Well, it’s funny when Kenya [Barris] was like, “so I have this idea. I’ve been thinking about you as Bow’s brother.” And I was just like, “look, you can stop right there. Yes, I want to do that.” I’ve been Team Rainbow on this show for so long. I feel like she’s always getting, people don’t really understand her like I understand her. But look, let me tell you what it’s like being a mixed kid from the Bay.

Ross: Yeah. It was such a natural fit. And then they made it so much better with the way they wrote you. Johan is special.

Diggs: He’s special. He’s very special. And it fit like a glove. Very little acting happening for me.

I wanted to ask about Johan, because he blows in from France, basically, which knowing that this was filming in the fall of 2016 or summer 2016 feels very Thomas Jefferson coming down the staircase. Was that how that character got that way?

Diggs: I would imagine. I don’t know. Nobody ever told me. I very much remember my first table read there and I was all nervous. There were so many people there, this is a trip for a table read. Many years later he told me, that was because you were there. That many people didn’t usually come. But everyone was so obsessed with Hamilton, that they just wanted to see you. And he was like, I got nervous because I actually had no reason to assume that you could do this. I had just seen you in a musical and then put you in my TV show.

Ross: Oh, my God. Kenya is such a monster for saying that to you. That’s not true, because that’s not what he told me. He was convinced, I remember when he called me after he saw it and he was like, I have the best idea. And again, I’m telling you, when I saw you on stage—throughout my life, every once in a while you see people and you’re like, yeah, same tribe. You know what I mean? And usually the hair is the entrance into the indication. I’m like, we’re going to have definitely some things in common. And I want to know what product he uses, you know what I mean? But our table reads, which we have completely lost in this pandemic, were these very special, extraordinary things. Yes, there were more people there for you, but you got to feel the chemistry of all of us. And so, yeah, I do remember that day though, because that was really serious.

Daveed’s run on it came in this crazy period of work post-Hamilton, and also during the 2016 election. What do you remember from all of that?

Ross: Whiplash. Devastation. A lot of fear. So funny, we were on the precipice of so much more. I don’t know, there was a lot of wake up happening. It’s an interesting time to be on a show like Black-ish where we’re so topical and we dive in on that stuff. It made me appreciate the ability to use a platform to keep bringing light into the world, and joy, and also still talking about things and unpacking them without having to decide somebody is wrong or right. But just being able to explore them in joyful environments.

Diggs: Yeah. That show is so great at that. And it’s funny, professionally for me at that time, I was doing a bunch of things and learning so much, it almost feels separate from my emotional, personal, political journey. I was just on airplanes and in places—

Ross: You were moving a lot.

Diggs: Right? Because I was also doing Kimmy Schmidt and I was just all over the place. And so all of that was going on and then also the world was falling apart, but it was nice to work. For me, work was a good distraction from that, I guess. The times when I was on Black-ish were like, oh, we get to be in the world and also still be working and having fun, because the show was so good at that. Whereas a lot of other things that I was working on were just jobs separate from the world.

Ross: Yeah, you were moving at that point. I remember that time period, but it was a treat not only to have Daveed onset, but also for my character to have an identification with something beyond Dre’s family. Because in the Black-ish world, Bow’s point of view is an outlier point of view. And so as Daveed said, right at the beginning, when we first came on, to have somebody that actually knows that experience, not just because it’s written, but lives it in a different way. It was a really nice experience, for me, and I think for my character, if I can speak for the both of us.

What’s the contrast between going from something like Hamilton to a TV show?

Diggs: I mean, for me it was just all about learning. I didn’t know anything really. I left Hamilton and the next weekend was shooting Wonder, and then I went from there to L.A. and shot Tour De Pharmacy. And literally, I shot that for three days, and the fourth day I was on Black-ish. Broadway or doing plays, it’s repetition. It’s the art of, the goal is to make it feel new every time, right? That’s the trick. Doing TV, it’s definitely brand new every time. You don’t have to work for that. You get that part for free. The trick is playing the whole history of your relationships with all of these people as if they actually happened. But one of the great joys about being on Black-ish is just sitting around talking to everybody, soaking up game from Tracee or Anthony when he wasn’t talking shit about me, and Laurence—talking to Fish is my favorite stuff. I would just wait to find him sitting in a corner and just try to get him started.

Ross: Once you do though, you get some gems and pearls out of that man.

You guys have both moved on into more work creating and producing shows yourselves. Why is that the way forward for both of you?

Diggs: For me, it’s a continuation. I was always doing that, because no one wanted to make anything with me in it. And so we had to make it ourselves. But also, certain stories come your way that are, if you don’t tell them nobody’s going to. That’s actually the great part I’m finding about producing. It’s just that I get to help things exist because I want to watch them. I’m pretty self serving in a lot of ways.

Ross: I think I’ve always been producing. I think that I’ve always been that kind of actor. I always think of the whole thing. This is the beauty of what all of these different streaming platforms have offered, is that there is a democracy around, and a desire to keep filling our space with stories that represent the world we live in. And some of us, like Daveed and myself and Anthony, there are specific stories that we’re interested in telling. And you realize there’s a specific point of view that I want to share that is a gap in the world.

Does it feel like the industry is still moving in the right direction in terms of who gets to tell stories, like we are still opening up doors the way that we need to be?

Ross: I think for me, the biggest realization as I expand where my hands are in my career is the recognition that all aspects of this industry need fuller representation, all aspects. And that the pipeline is a little bit broken in terms of the standard that’s used to hire people in the executive positions, all these different places, that there needs to be real attention put there because without the conscious attention, it is not going to change. And that shift in equity around the table really needs absolute work. And so that’s also one of the beauties of being in this position is that I’m now in a space where I am behind the scenes, and I can say, I’m sorry, how much is she getting paid? And how much is he getting paid? And what’s the difference? Well, that’s just the way it’s been. Huh? I think that changes the dynamics, not only of the storytelling, but you look at the difference in the gaze that we’re looking through, through a camera lens, even changes how something looks and when you’re telling a story.

Diggs: That is so real, Tracee.

Ross: So real.

Diggs: And the thing about the Hollywood machine is it’s a big, slow moving machine and your intentions actually don’t matter very much. It was so interesting working with people who have the best intentions in the world and you still look around and most of your crew is white and you’re like, how did this happen? Because that’s where the machine knows how to look. It’s work. It’s actual work.

Ross: It’s actual work. And people, particularly in Hollywood, it’s a big well-oiled machine that’s been working in a certain way. So everybody figures it works. And there’s a lot of spaces in the machine that no one’s opened that door in a really long time, and you’re like, okay, so we need to go downstairs and open that door guys. There’s a weird part of the machine that’s just spilling out the same thing, and we need to go look in that room.

So these Emmys must be the last awards Hamilton can be eligible for, and Black-ish is filming its final season. How do you guys feel saying goodbye to these characters you’ve been living with or associated with for so long?

Diggs: I mean, I haven’t been living with Jefferson and Lafayette, I left them onstage. But other people have lived with them for quite a while, so it’s a bit of a different experience.

Ross: And will continue to, that’s so interesting. I imagine usually when you do a play, not everybody knows you as that.

Diggs: Almost nobody knows you as that, when you do a play. That’s kind of why you do plays.

Ross: Hamilton transcended that little scenario.

Diggs: It did a thing, and a great, wonderful thing that I’m incredibly proud to be a part of. But it is wild to keep revisiting those parts, I feel weird talking about it because I didn’t watch it yesterday and I don’t think about it ever until somebody brings it up. Like I was saying the other day, it’s like you had a kid that grew up or something and now I’m very proud of that kid, like, oh, that’s really cool that they’re off winning awards.

Hamilton would be in first grade by now.

Diggs: It’s won the spelling bee and citizenship award and all that stuff. Very proud of that kid.

Ross: I do have to say though, Daveed, that Hamilton transcended something, but also your portrayal and what you did on stage. There was a reverberation and something that you did with that role, and with that character, that I do think changed the way we see a black actor on stage, in a different way. I think the platform of Hamilton, specifically the role, and then what you did with it, the way you breathe life into it and gave it something, it’s understandable that it is continuing to live on. As an actor, it’s a funny thing, but from the outside looking in and somebody who saw you on stage and saw the TV, you know what I mean? So I do understand the ongoing relationship with that role and what you did with it.

Diggs: That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said to me, and I think that’s what I mean about feeling proud of the thing. Because my only experience with it these days is as a fan of it. It’s just a weird thing as an actor, like you said, but I imagine it must be a much different kind of goodbye to Rainbow. I mean, you’ve lived with her for—

Ross: Eight years, almost nine years when we finish. What’s interesting is, this is my second time letting go of a long-time character. Letting go of Joan [her character on Girlfriends] was really challenging. I was so new to all of it that it just, it honestly felt a little scary, I just didn’t know how to navigate. It felt to me like what I imagined a basketball player retiring, or leaving the team they were on for a long time, because the pace that you keep for a 23 episode series is intense. You are in the water for more time out of the year than you’re out of the water. But the beauty of this is I get to walk into this final season, knowing it’s the final season. And the truth is for eight years, I have been challenged, intrigued, tickled, and annoyed by this woman that I’m playing. All of the above. And for me it just gets deeper and better every year. I get safer every year and I get to experience a new aspect of my skill, my talent, my thing, the thing I do. On Black-ish, 24 episodes a season, it’s like, how can I really allow this woman to be as full, as free, and as herself as she can be. And that is really fun to use my body and my being as that vehicle, it’s really fun. Particularly working with Anthony, the two of us, the way we fly together, it’s magical. It really is. Even if I don’t talk to him, like I’ve never been to his house, we don’t know each other that way. But what we know in our work relationship is magic.

Diggs: As an observer and a very close up observer too, it is really magic. And I say this about you all the time, too, the way that you fight for Bow is so inspirational. Getting to watch it, it taught me so much.

Ross: Yeah, you got to see some of that for real.

Diggs: Yeah. Watch you on set, really championing for your character, for her integrity, and her humanity, and for her fullness being like, this is a real person, don’t underserve her. I’ve taken that with me to all of my other jobs. I really learned it from you.

Is there anything else you guys want to say to each other?

Ross: I miss you.

Diggs: I miss you too.

[anti-catradora-receipts]

I really had to see someone say catra didnt abuse adora bc she "didnt have a position of power" over her. And claimed that i "didnt know what abuse was". Well i guess the abuse that ive been through in relationships (platonic and romantic), that has often been like catra/adoras dynamic, wasnt abuse huh. Guess im not an abuse victim after all by that logic

Dear anon,

Firstly, I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for everything you’ve been through. And I’m really sorry that someone tried to invalidate your experiences with abuse. I really hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself.

Secondly, I disagree with the person’s statement of “catra didnt abuse adora bc she "didnt have a position of power" over her.” That’s false. 

Catra admits to manipulating Adora during the show. And this article talks about manipulation in a relationship and how manipulation is all about power and control. I extracted some parts of the article and placed it right below (within the quotation marks): 

“People who manipulate use mental distortion and emotional exploitation to influence and control others. Their intent is to have power and control over others to get what they want.

A manipulators knows what your weaknesses are and will use them against you. This will keep happening unless you actively and assertively put a stop to it. That said, it is not always easy.”

Next, this article is from the perspective of a victim of abuse after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship. The author of the article wanted to better understand their past abusive relationship and shared the insights that they gained from reading the book, ‘Power Games: Confronting Others’ Hurtful Behaviour and Transforming Our Own by Kay Douglas and Dr Kim McGregor’. I feel that the article illustrates in depth the enormous power imbalance between Catra and Adora and I extracted some parts of the article and put it below (within the double quotations): 

“After leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, I found myself needing to understand what had happened. Like most people who leave a volatile situation I was, quite simply, unable to process and articulate what was wrong. Apart from being incredibly vulnerable, I was also just too close to my own situation to see it objectively.

So I decided to read Power Games: Confronting Others’ Hurtful Behaviour and Transforming Our Own by Kay Douglas and Dr Kim McGregor. What I found was a wealth of information confirming what I couldn’t express or even see for myself. Here are some choice insights from the book, as well as some of my own thoughts*:

1. Control is always at the heart of a power game. The need to assert control will usually involve undermining and/or discrediting another to achieve our own ends. For example, we are using power games when we:

bully or intimidate someone into agreeing with our demands;

bait and provoke others through disturbing statements or actions and then claim they’re being over-sensitive/emotional, crazy or irrational (known as gaslighting); 

...

engage in name calling, put-downs, harsh criticism or threats.

2. Manipulators are not concerned with taking responsibility for their decisions/behaviours/feelings. Instead, they create a smokescreen by shifting the focus or blame to others. And consequently, the other party must assume the responsibility for making the situation ‘better’. If the other party is a ‘good’ person, they will comply with whatever demands are issued (peace at any price). As soon as they resist, however, the manipulator is likely to go on the attack.

3. For the receiver, cumulative exposure to such tumult may reduce self-esteem and increase anxiety, resentment and fear. Receivers will experience intense emotional reactions and may end up interpreting these as proof they are selfish, unbalanced, over-sensitive and unreasonable. They may lose their sense of self; either over-compensating to ‘get it right’ and ‘be better’ or even adopting manipulative tactics against others.

...

4. For the receiver, regaining personal power starts with a shift in one’s thinking. More specifically, an acknowledgement that the manipulator must take responsibility for their feelings and behaviours and any future change. It is accepting that the dynamic needs to change and learning to distinguish between real and manufactured guilt. It is constructing and defending boundaries and a willingness to listen to what anger is trying to say. It is the ability to cut through the smokescreen tactics and see the situation clearly. It is the ability to speak one’s truth and articulate one’s feelings. It is honouring the self. And, sometimes, this will mean leaving.

What I learned is that while not everyone who feels inadequate is a manipulator, every manipulator feels inadequate. So do we all, I know. But, what sets manipulators apart is the way they consistently and systematically re-distribute this inadequacy onto others.

...

What I also learned is that by disengaging I was not giving up, but that I was actively saying ‘I am worth more than this’.”

On a personal note, I just wanted to point out some additional reasons I see a huge power imbalance between Catra and Adora:

- The fact that Catra was completely okay with controlling Adora and Catra was not willing to give up her control of Adora.

- The fact that Adora seems to be the one who is constantly scared of Catra. At the present moment, I can only remember two scenes when Catra is scared of Adora: when Adora gets corrupted and attacks Catra at the beginning of White Out (S2E5), and when Adora gives Catra “The Look” at the end of The Portal (S3E6) . In addition, take a look at this scene. Adora honestly believes that Catra is going to kill her:

- The fact that Catra is completely okay with taking away Adora’s power. In the following scene, Catra doesn’t even see Adora as a person but as a tool. Catra literally states that they’ll use the corrupted sword in order to control Adora and use Adora as an advantage for the Horde. Catra even states that she’ll control Adora to kill Adora’s own friends. That is unbelievably sick. Moreover, Catra was completely okay with controlling Adora’s choices and actions. In fact, this scene supports the fact that Catra was completely okay with taking away Adora’s freedom. 

And honestly, there are some stark similarities between the previous scene with Catra and the following scene with Shadow Weaver. Shadow Weaver was ready to take away Adora’s power and use Adora as a tool against the Rebellion. 

I’d also like to point out that what Catra was willing to do to Adora, Horde Prime had actually done to Catra in S5. Catra’s power and freedom was taken away by Horde Prime and Horde Prime controlled Catra to attack Adora. The fact that Horde Prime took away Catra’s power and freedom was cruel and despicable. And the fact that Catra was willing to take away Adora’s power and freedom is cruel and despicable. 

Moreover, Adora ended up with Catra, a person who was perfectly okay with taking away Adora’s freedom and power. 

That is absolutely vile.

Finally I just want to add that my pinned post titled “Catra abused Adora.” has hyperlinks to resources relating to abuse:

- The Emotional Abuse section is reviewed by professionals. 

- The Physical Abuse section is provided by an online mental health service in Australia.

And these resources confirm that Catra emotionally and physically abuses Adora. 

In conclusion, you are right to say that Catra abuses Adora. Again, I’m really sorry that someone tried to invalidate your experiences with abuse. And I really hope you know that your feelings about Catradora are completely valid. 

I genuinely hope you’re talking care of yourself. Seriously, please make sure you check in with yourself and prioritize some self-care. 

Thank you very much for sharing. ✨

[somerpmemes]

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist S1 Starters

Change as needed. More under the cut.

“Quick question: do you always have to play and sing your music that loud?”

“Why are you up so early anyways?”

“Oh, I didn’t go to bed.”

“So, you’re ready for this?”

“I just really don’t wanna screw this up.”

“Keeping it lean for the ladies.”

“I need to expand my horizons.”

“It was literally all you.”

“Now is not the time to be modest.”

“Let’s face it, the woman’s a narcissist.”

“Work your magic, feel the glory, in it to win it.”

“Well I’m not really comfortable with anything.”

“Alright, who wants some freshly delivered, slightly cold, mediocre pizza!”

“Could we maybe open a window or something?”

“They’re not that scary.”

“Are you sure this isn’t an elaborate teleportation device that will take me to an alternate universe?”

“I just wanna get this over with.”

“Is this supposed to be happening?”

“That sounds really sad.”

“Why are you singing right now?”

“Why would I sing to you? You don’t even like me.”

“Can I get you anything? Water? Vodka? Xanax?”

“Quick question: did you recently imbibe or inject anything that came from a “medicinal” type shop?”

“But I’m an open-minded person, I’m willing to roll with this.”

“Maybe you’re operating on a higher plane than the rest of us.”

“Child, I’m completely baked. Ain’t nothing going on in my head right now.”

“This is the first thing that I find remotely interesting about you.”

“Will we ever have joie de vivre?”

“My mom left me when I was young and my whole life has been a series of rejections from the opposite sex.”

“You sure you don’t hear that?”

“Let’s party like it’s 1978!”

“And you should really take everything I say when I’m high with a grain of salt.”

“That song is real dark.”

“Good music can make you feel things you can’t express in words.”

“Hey, not that I’m keeping tabs or anything but that’s like your fourth cup of coffee today.”

“That’s a whole lot of tmi I just spewed on you.”

“Who knows what other people are really thinking, right?”

“I’ve found in general death and dying tend not to be the best conversation starters.”

“If I show you something can you promise to keep it only between us?”

“This is the only thing that I can hold onto.”

“I’ve become a real expert on bottling my shame and pain and hiding it from the world.”

“Listen, I’m not an expert on this or anything but you can't just keep it in.”

“I should’ve been the one this happened to.”

“I think we’re just gonna have to stumble through it together. The blind leading the blind.”

“If you had the power to know what was going on in other people’s heads, do you think you’d feel guilty?”

“I’m going to be uncharacteristically honest with you so don’t get used to it.”

“I notice everything.”

“I just feel like everyone’s against me.”

“Two more hours and I would’ve gotten it, just saying.”

“There’s gonna be good days and bad days, remember? Let’s chalk this up to one of the good ones.”

“Mama needs an update.”

“No, no, don’t be flattered.”

“I view you more as a social experiment, like a rat running through a maze.”

“Sounds bougie, I’m in.”

“I'm not in trouble, am I?”

“Bottom line, please?”

“You’re yelling, bro.”

“I’m acting weirder than normal?”

“Believe it or not I didn’t really play any sports growing up.”

“This power is wasted on you!”

“Is this weird? This feels weird.”

“I gotta say, I am loving the energy.”

“I’m pretty sure nobody cares.”

“Any desire to tell me what this is all about?”

“Of course I know that song, it’s a very famous song. Do YOU know that song?”

“With great power comes a lot of nasty stuff don’t nobody wanna do.”

“I’m not NOT mortified right now.”

“Please tell me your day was better than mine.”

“Do I need to hide all of my breakables?”

“I can’t cook. You should see the inside of my fridge.”

“I guess we’ve just breezed right past the whole “knocking-and-waiting-for-the-other-person-to-answer” phase.”

“When I get inspired no doors will stand in my way.”

“Creative. Absolutely terrifying..”

“Could be cool. Could be confusing. Could be both. Let’s see.”

“And I’m kinda obsessed with you.”

“Door’s always open, honey.”

“So could everyone please act as if they care?”

“I haven’t breathed outside air in over forty-three hours.”

“Why did we come up with this stupid, stupid plan?”

“Dolly Parton is my spirit animal.”

“There are lots of reasons why people are unsatisfied, ___. 80% of it is sex related.”

“Do you just make these statistics up?”

“I’m gonna keep this one simple.”

“The only place I’m comfortable dancing is in my bedroom… closet.”

“Don’t ever say that again.”

“First of all, that’s terrible grammar.”

“I was a drum major in high school and that mess would not have been tolerated.”

“I have always found it helpful to vent when I’m feeling dissatisfied.”

“I don’t vent, I scream into a pillow.”

“You dress like a docent at a folk art museum.”

“Wow, we’re still talking about this?”

“___, are you growing as a person?”

“And the good news is I’ve been banned from the grocery store.”

“There’s been a radical shift in the way I perceive the world, you wouldn’t understand.”

“There is nothing in the world that I love more than your smile. But not if it isn’t real.”

“Don’t make this into a thing right now.”

“That term hasn’t been used in well over a decade.”

“I can see your side eye.”

“You can take the fifth and stop telling me about it.”

“Do you know anything about faith at all?”

“I think we might be vibing again.”

“Are you sure that everything’s okay with you because I feel like maybe it’s not.”

“See, that whole “leap of faith” thing really doesn’t work for me.”

“Empathy is a wonderful gift to have.”

“I have faith. You should too.”

“I recognize your tiny footsteps.”

“Okay, that’s enough gaping at the shut in for one day.”

“I swear this is the last one.”

“Why so secretive?”

“I am very aware of what a duet is.”

“Why do I even answer the phone this early?”

“My brain does not like functioning until night o’clock.”

“What’s the good of bad news if you can’t share it?”

“I love barely meeting expectations!”

“Is it great? Feels not so great.”

“I think you’re crushing it, that’s all that matters.”

“You two would be great in a female cop show.”

“Something’s going on with you, I can tell.”

“How do you do that? Really see me. No one else has the ability.”

“I’m just not used to negative feedback.”

“Care to tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Can I take a picture? I’m gonna take a picture.”

“Uh oh. Don’t tell me you’re depressed too.”

“My body’s doing all sorts of disgusting things to me like making liquid appear in my eyes.”

“It’s too gutless, it’s too passive-aggressive. I like aggressive-aggressive.”

“I just feel like I’m failing.”

“Why do you put so much pressure on yourself?”

“Wow. I just got a window into your soul and, baby, it is not a place I wanna visit.”

“Did you know I once stared at the ocean for literally seven hours?”

“How about you lead the way and I’ll just holler if I need any medical assistance?”

“You’d tell me if you weren’t good, right?”

“So, tell me some good news please.”

“Thank you for not trying to fix me or make me feel better. Thanks for just being real.”

“Why are you smirking?”

“Sometimes I just feel like I can’t do anything right.”

“Someone sounds like they’re in a good mood.”

“The world is waiting, so am I.”

“I have no interest in hanging around a bunch of 20-somethings talking about artisanal beer all night.”

“___, this is a classy affair. Of course they’ll be pigs in a blanket.”

“Now it’s time for a makeover which is literally my favorite thing to do.”

“No matter how hard I try I just never say the right thing.”

“At least let me help you accessorize.”

“I gotta admit this is kinda fun.”

“Now they just taste like water.”

“Who do we know with a hot tub?”

“You are super fun. Like sloppy, dance on a bar fun.”

“I might also be drunk.”

“I’m a mess… and emotional… also vodka.”

“Life doesn’t always go as planned. It just doesn’t.”

“Is it weird that I want one of those?”

“Yeah, nothing good happens after someone sings that song.”

“I hate when people assume I know their names.”

“So, you’re attractive and talented.”

“I can’t believe that happened, and how quickly…”

“If there’s something going on I’d love all our friends to hear about it.”

“You should probably leave this party before you burn something else down.”

“That’s almost funny.”

“I need that thing more than you’ve ever needed anything in your entire life and I’m ready to fight you for it if you make me.”

“I wouldn’t trust myself to ride that thing sober let alone now still halfway drunk.”

“The last thing I want to hear from you is another apology.”

“I really need to be mad at you right now.”

“Are you crying?”

“What? I’m not allowed to get emotional at a superhero movie? Lives were lost, ___. Ethical questions were raised!”

“He only responds in one letter. ‘K’? Who does that?”

“Just— let’s talk about you.”

“It’s hard to accept that I can’t do this all on my own anymore.”

“Wouldn’t peg you for a food court guy.”

“We are gonna be ultra professional from now on.”

“What’s the crisis? Did I cause it?”

“Can you believe it?! ...apparently you can and perhaps already knew?”

“___, are you okay? You look paler than usual.”

“You okay? You look shaken.”

“But I feel great and I’m gonna be totally fine.”

“Can you google that for me?”

“Are you seriously hiding from me?”

“I listen to true crime to calm myself.”

“Look, we both know I’m not good with feelings or emotions.”

“Mad respect for your pun game.”

“Men don’t check on men in bathrooms, it’s not a thing.”

“Well now I know you’re telling the truth because no one would ever lie about doing something that heartless.”

“Were we ever even friends at all?”

“Real friends have hard conversations. They owe it to each other.”

“I’m gonna get deep for a hot second so bear with me.”

“Stuff like this has been going on for a while now. You wanna tell me what’s up?”

“You’re starting to seem like a liability, man.”

“What’s the point of rising if we can’t do it together?”

“Here to pour salt on my wounds?”

“It’s all coming from a place of love.”

“It is not exactly what I expected but I’m rolling with it.”

“Watch how fast I nail this.”

“Are we talking witchcraft or just shameless career advancing?”

“I’ve got a super chill brain that never needs calming, so…”

“Was I just singing out loud?”

“Am I going crazy? I feel like I am. I mean, I don’t know what crazy feels like but I feel like this is it.”

“That’s… bad.”

“Are you fine? I mean, I know you’re not fine but…”

“Can you schedule your nervous breakdown for another day?”

“In solving one problem I’ve created another.”

“I… I don’t know why that happened.”

“Okay, yes, I’ll admit I’m in a good mood but it’s for completely unrelated reasons.”

“Okay, this is getting worse by the second.”

“I apologize in advance for whatever’s about to come out of mouth.”

“I'm really sorry. Just know, it’s not me, it’s my body.”

“That’s such a strange way to phrase that.”

“There you go, now you know. Hey, that rhymed.”

“I will go to the supermarket… one day.”

“I ruined my entire life yesterday.”

“I just call that uninspired.”

“Honestly, I think I’m broken.”

“What exactly is going on here? A creative inspiration or a massive cry for help?”

“I’m broken and I’m gonna die alone.”

“How do you go through all that suffering and not let it break you?”

“I don’t know what to do. And it’s tearing me up inside.”

“Hurt people hurt people.”

“I think it’s best if you don’t look at me or worry about and focus on what I’m thinking or feeling.”

“It can be challenging sometimes, knowing the right way and the wrong way to care for somebody.”

“Well, it’s the almost-thought that counts.”

“That’s a terrible surprise face.”

“I think it’s finally time I focus on my own happiness for a change.”

“I don’t want to talk. Lord knows that we’ve done enough talking.”

“I’m exhausted. And exhilarated. And thoroughly depleted.”

“Stay aloof, reveal nothing, keep small talk down to a minimum.”

“You’ve been there for me, I wanna be there for you.”

“Don’t smile at me, I don’t wanna look at your sad, appreciative eyes.”

“What? He’s hot, I’m weak, you do the math.”

“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a hoodie before.”

“This would be a great place to murder someone, huh?”

“So, who’s ready to talk about death?”

“It doesn’t have to go down like this, ___.”

“You can only postpone the inevitable for so long.”

“In moments like these sometimes you have to haul out the big guns.”

“Someone better be dead or dying, I’m not in the mood.”

“I am worried. This is how I compensate.”

“I find you charming and disturbing, like a Pomeranian wearing a tutu.”

“I go big or go home.”

“Death is hideous and ugly and grotesque and wildly, wildly unfair.”

“Believe me, I’m not doing well but I’m not doing that badly either.”

“I guess we gotta face the music sometime, right?”

[project-sour-grapes]

My Precious Entitled Career

Despite my “success,” I've come to the realization that how I approach everything is wrong.

I am a professional in tech and an artist. My friends call me patient and hardworking beyond what is expected. In high school, I was one of those never-crack-a-book honors students with a fancy scholarship. However, when I look inward, all of these good fruits seem like an accident.

I was recently let go from a tech company that your average zoomer would know the name of. There was a conflict around compensation that played out over a week or two that escalated into my being terminated. While the decisions I made were kosher with my contract and were built upon advice from other professionals who had been in my shoes, I now consider my approach to be a failure. It's important to note that I don't regret standing up for myself, as that lesson was overdue for separate reasons. However, my mindset throughout the conflict did not serve me any good and I've now seen the severity of my entitlement and self importance through a magnifying glass.

I could detail you the statistics on median pay for my job, my old company, my state, etc. I could state why the situation seemed unjust and why I felt underappreciated and fooled. Maybe it was unfair on paper, and maybe I had the right to be angry, depending on who you ask. But I don't care anymore.

Time has been plentiful for my unemployed self. I have spent it ruminating, walking, and listening to audiobooks, one of which is Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. In one chapter, Holiday details Jackie Robinson's struggles as a black man trying to play professional baseball. If anything was fair on paper, it would have been Jackie Robinson fighting back against the racists (which he did and was arrested for when he was younger). But as a professional, he was encouraged by others to ignore racism and just beat them in games. And he did. He didn’t fight anybody anymore, even though he would have been right to and those idiots would have deserved it. Being a famous baseball player and fully grown adult yet being treated like a non-human or a child is the peak of unfair. But Holiday’s book’s point is that looking past unfairness towards the mission is sometimes necessary to accomplish it.

I'm not saying my life struggle compares to Jackie Robinson's. In fact, that is exactly what I'm not saying. My "unfair" situations pale in comparison to his. He climbed Everest and I'm over here upset about an ant hill. And in some sense, I made that ant hill myself. I mean that if he can experience literal crimes and keep his head up, then I need to shut my damn mouth.

What is the correct approach to my work then? Let's rewind a bit. Full disclosure, my old approach to my life's work was this:

I am going to work myself to death for you, and if you don't give me the world in return, that is a moral failure.

Isn't that a biting statement? There is the entitlement out in the open. I'm not proud to have thought this way at all, and I'm sorry to all of you have had to put up with this mindset from me. But there it is.

Now. Where do we go from here? Well, during my unemployed ruminations over the past few weeks, I came across Dr. Alok Kanojia's (AKA HealthyGamerGG on Youtube) video on motivation, fairness, and how we're not entitled to anything. He talked about how, since life is unfair and unpredictable, we are not entitled to the results of our actions. We don't automatically have the right to the outcome of an action. We only have the actions themselves. Studying doesn’t entitle us to an A+. We are only entitled to the studying itself. That’s the way of the universe. In my old job, I prioritized work above all else. I forewent classes that I ended up failing or dropping. I begged to work overtime. I was, in the words of multiple others, "kicking ass." Then I decided I was entitled to something because of it. And I got angry when that was not satisfied. That is where I went wrong. It is true that I was promised a few things that did not come to fruition. Maybe it was morally acceptable to be angry about unfulfilled promises. But like I said, I’m done caring about that. That's not what it is about anymore.

What is it about is action. All we have in life is our actions. The more I think about what I value, the more I see the emphasis on action.

When we say to live in the present instead of the past or future, we're talking about action, since the present is the only time action can happen

When we roll our eyes at the person who says "I'm the idea guy," we're valuing action

The concept "Show, don't tell" works, because it is about action

Giving your soul to a job/person/thing who didn't even ask for it, then holding out your hand and saying "Gimme" is not about action. It is focused on outcome. Maybe it’s not fair that we can’t expect equal rewards in return for our work all the time. And on paper, it really is. Give X, get X. Seems fair and logical. But for me, for that to be the starting place and the motivation for my work no longer serves me. I’m not saying fairness isn’t a worthy goal or that it is bad. Fairness can be the outcome of a good mission. But it is not required to complete the mission. And it’s not going to be the sole motivator for my decisions, because life is grey and humans can’t always deliver on promises, through no fault of their own. What I'm not going to do anymore is throw my hands up and say, "Sorry, this is unfair so I quit.”

Where this leaves me is that I'm reconsidering my career--not only how I approach the work but the field I chose entirely. In the past, I tried to do biomedical research, but I failed. I have also enrolled and unenrolled in many an EMT class and have taken and failed Biology, Chemistry, and Physics classes repeatedly. This was all because of a hazy dream of being a doctor that has sat in the back of my mind every day. 

I kept trying out this doctor dream, but I would always hit a tiny snag, exaggerate it, and give up. I have gone through about 10 multi-month cycles of this for years. And guess what the snags were:

That professor gave me a B+ instead of an A on a single exam. Pre-med education is inherently unfair, and I'm not putting up with this.

I have to study this bio concept that I probably won't even use if I become a real doctor. That's a waste of my time, so I'd rather fail/drop than learn it.

Doctors have to get up at 5am? That goes against science on sleep schedules, so I'm not going to do it.

How pissy and entitled? Who thinks like that? Me, apparently--or who I hope to be "old me."

How did I get so caught up in what is fair or unfair that I lost sight of the forest for the trees? News flash, self... everything is unfair! Gym is always packed? Unfair. Fighting cancer? Unfair. Some idiot who cares less than you do got picked for the job? Unfair. Hell, the unfairness of life is half the reason why we even get up in the morning. Name a career that isn’t about taking an unfair situation and turning it into a better one. (If you can, maybe don’t do that career.) We do stuff as humans, because it’s unfair. Or the alternative, not doing it, would be unfair. If doctors threw up their hands because disease is unfair, we’d still be fighting polio. I wouldn’t make it one second in caveman times with my old attitude. The hungry lions staring at my caveman camp don’t care what I think is fair.

So here's the mission. We are going to look unfair things in the face and still do them. Despite their unfairness. Despite the fear that something will take more than it gives. Despite the brain saying, "This is inefficient, so let's not do it at all." In fact, it's because of their unfairness that we will do them. Then we can leave them better off for someone else. Or do them better the next time. I am calling this Project Sour Grapes. It starts right now.

[echo-bleu]

Hi Echo! First off, I want to say I always love seeing you on my dash, especially your writing! It's always amazing!

I wanted to get your thoughts on something relating to autism. I've thought on off for a few years that autism might explain some of the things I experience (my decade long obsession with shadowhunters, why my tone of voice doesnt always match my intent/the words, rocking/flapping hands/curled toes, sensory things). I found that list you posted a while ago about women and autism, and I have to say, I related to a fair amount of it.

But I feel like there's a huge caveat to this explanation/relatability, and it's the social aspects. I do identify as an introvert, but I don't usually struggle in social situations. I can "read the room" usually and know how to act in professional situations, etc. Sometimes I don't catch jokes and I'm a pretty literal person ie I take things at face value. I know social things are a large part of autism.

I'm just curious if this is something I should persue or if I'm just looking for something that's not there. I know you aren't a medical professional or anything. I guess I just wanted an autistic person's perspective on my experiences.

Obviously, there is absolutely no pressure to answer this at all, and if I am way out of line, please tell me!!! I don't ever want to step on anyone's toes or do anything to hurt someone else. Thank you so much for your time! 💜💜💜💜

Hi Anon! Thank you, I’m really glad that you like my writing 💙

You aren’t out of line and I’m happy to try to answer your question! I don’t have a yes or no for you. Obviously I cannot tell you whether you’re autistic or not, or even if it’s worth pursuing for yourself, but I’ll try to share something of my own experience here. To me, it comes down to a few things:

1) If you feel like you have autistic traits and/or the tools and concepts developed with autistic people in mind are useful to you, even if you don’t know for sure whether you are in fact autistic, you are allowed and I would say encouraged to use them and to interact with the community to find more things that work for you!

2) I would argue that there is no specific trait that is common to all autistics. Moreover, traits can present as the exact opposite in two people and still be signs of autism in both cases. Autism is poorly defined, to be honest, and it’s hard to say where the limit is, but it’s more about a convergence of traits than a list of symptoms that every autistic person has. The diversity in our community is astounding and possibly even greater than among neurotypical people. So it is entirely possible to be autistic and struggle little with social stuff/communication. In my own case, though I do struggle with certain specific aspects of the social game, my sensory issues and executive dysfunction are much more of a disability in my life. Which brings me to the third point:

3) Most traits don’t look like you probably think they do. I used to look at lists of symptoms and feel like barely any of them applied to me. I would see “stereotypical and repetitive behaviors” and be like “I don’t always do things at the same hours and I don’t rock back and forth”, so this can’t possibly apply to me. Except that later, I stumbled upon a fanfiction with own voices autistic character that had them talk about stimming and stimtoys, and I looked up the word. Turns out that sucking your thumb is a stim. That listening to a song on repeat is a stim. That doodling is a stim. That sitting on your legs is a stim. Turns out that doing small things in the same order is a kind of routine, and it’s doesn’t have to be at the same time of the day. Would you have called that “stereotypical and repetitive behaviors”? I do all those things, and many more.

Stimming was the obvious example here, and it happened to be the place where I started my journey (or that part of it). I had been curious about neurodivergence (without knowing the word for it) and autism for a decade before that, but I had never stumbled upon, you know, actual autistic people describing their experience in a way I could relate to. And when you look at list of traits, at psychologists’ accounts, even at published biographies, you have to know what to look for. I developed a specific interest about autism and learned to read between the lines but it’s impossible to do that when you don’t already know. And even today, I still have frequent eureka moments of “oh, that’s why I do this.”

So on the social side, it may look different than what you’re thinking of. I have no problem with metaphors, and generally not with sarcasm or jokes. I can “read the room” as you said, for the most part. I’ve been talking at conferences and mingling at coffee breaks and having meetings with colleagues for years, and none of them ever thought I was autistic. I may have a hard time approaching someone to make small talk, but not that much more than colleagues my age. I don’t go out a lot and I don’t make friends super easily, but I do (well, did) go out for drinks with colleagues or friends. So I didn’t think I had a real issue there, beside being very introverted and a little shy. Except that I was tired. I’d come back from having drinks and would go straight to bed. I’d come back from a three days conference and get sick for a week. I burned out fast and brutally. I rarely make eye contact, but I tend to look at people’s mouths, so no one noticed. Mostly I didn’t know that I struggled with things until I read other autistic people’s experiences. And moreover, I didn’t know how exhausting it is for me to communicate with neurotypical people, even if I appear, even to myself, to do it fairly naturally, until I stood in a room full of autistic people for five hours and felt rested at the end of it.

That’s because some of us, me included, learned to mask at such an early age, and in such an organic way, that we don’t even realize that we do it at all. At least not until we burn out so badly that we’re forced to face it, or until we luck out and stumble upon the testimonies of other autistic people and recognize ourselves there. So if that’s your case, if you read blogs and texts and watch videos by autistic people and you recognize something, then I would say it’s always worth investigating. Maybe you’re autistic, maybe you’re neurodivergent in another way, maybe you’re not, but knowing yourself is always going to benefit you, and so is knowing about the diversity of brains and people that exist.

[dianaburnwood]

Sorry for the inbox spam but it's so nice to talk about the game finally <3 were there any story or gameplay parts that you didn't like? Or is it too early to say?

Definitely never apologize for inbox spam about Hitman :) 

My first impressions post is here, for those interested. 

You’re asking me for story analysis here and this will get a bit rambley I’m sure, but sorry in advance because I have THOUGHTS

The status quo 

Firstly, I will say that I applaud IO by telling the story they wanted to tell. Yes, absolutely, in many ways this was Blood Money 2.0, but it also delved into Absolution, Contracts, Silent Assassin, and Codename 47 (I can go into more detail on how it draws from all of them, but you can probably guess). 

This trilogy, but especially this game, is a love letter to the entire Hitman series. It goes straight to the heart of what Hitman has been about since the very beginning. Choices. Freedom. Control. Fate. What does it mean to be human. 

Not to sound up my own ass, but as a professional writer I knew they’d have to end with a return to the status quo. It’s the only way to leave the series open to continuation. Grey and Olivia had to be out of the picture by the end. I was shocked that Grey was killed so early though, but I have to say it was nice that he was actually true to 47 all along. I think 47 really needed that. We can delve deep into issues of survivor’s guilt here too, as Grey only died to protect 47. I guess he finally repaid his debt from Romania. 

I do think the only fair way for Grey to die was to take himself out, and I appreciate that. He is honourable, he is righteous, he has his own code. He would never let himself be taken alive. And yet, I do wonder if he still would have shot himself if 47 wasn’t there. He might have let himself be taken and then work out a way to escape later. But in the end, he had no choice if he was to save 47. He wished they had more time - he didn’t even get to enjoy his freedom - but he got what he wanted and the story no longer needed him.

Gameplay

In terms of gameplay, there really isn’t anything I didn’t like. IOI went above and beyond in taking risks here. We got a linear level, we got a level with hidden targets, we got levels with non-target objectives, we got investigate gameplay, we got multiple partners to assist, we got narrative mission exits, etc. Tbh the most “traditional” level in terms of trilogy gameplay was Chongqing. 

The camera and shortcut unlocks were a wonderful addition to the series, and it opens up the levels in great ways, with vents, walkways, passages, etc. Hitman maps are always extremely re-playable, but now? OMG, the possibilities seem endless. 

It would have been all too easy for IOI to stick with what they knew worked. And I think that’s why they decided to go all out for the end of the trilogy. Now was the time to take risks if they were going to take them - and I’m so glad they did. 

Character arc

I’ve written about this a bit already, but I’m gonna keep going :D 

47. What are his choices? What could he choose? 

In Mendoza, Diana offers him a chance for the future. She asks him about retiring somewhere like Mendoza, as he’s not going to work forever. And he responds saying he has started thinking about the future.

I really wonder how that future worked out - cos he took a year off at the end of the game. Where did he go? Did he keep to himself? Did he try to have a life? Did the loneliness, the isolation, the lack of purpose eat him alive until he came back to her?

What is the life that 47 wants for himself? We see his worst fears given a voice - Diana’s voice - when we get that wonderful look into his psyche. And Diana really dug deep here, and wow, it hurt to watch. We all knew she was pulling a Blood Money, but with ICA/Providence guards all around them, she really had to let 47 have it. And yet, while she spat vicious words for show, she used the opportunity to forgive him. To let him know that he didn’t have a choice in killing her parents, and she knew it. 

But damn. 47 trusted Diana without question. Unwavering loyalty, all the way through this trilogy. And yet, doubt crept in. Her words gnaw at his own worst fears about himself - and in case we missed it, Grey spells it out for us :D Grey, representing 47′s emotions, shaking off his fears, and knowing that Diana was giving him the only opportunity to get close to Edwards. 

Rationally he would have known that Diana would never do this to him. But the psychological analysis of 47 in this game is really superb. He worries that he is just the tool that Providence made him to be. That his life with Diana, the ICA, the contracts, it was all “a wall to shield him” from that terrible truth. 

So, what’s the alternative? Give it up. Run away. He tried it before at the end of C47, but he was running from the past. This time, he realises through the voice of Diana that he must embrace the past. That’s the only way forward. 

And so he does. And I love that. Because 47 can never get away from the fact that he is an engineered killer. Before, in Silent Assassin and Blood Money, that fact angered him. It made him feel trapped, alone. Now, he has a new perspective. He chooses the truth he likes. He needs to embrace his past to be released from it. He needs to finally, FINALLY, come to terms with who he is, what he has done, and what he needs to do to move on. 

Is this a conscience developing? I’ve talked a lot about his emotions before, and how we have seen him experience guilt. Is that growing? I’m not so sure. I think it’s more that he knows he has done wrong, he knows that feels wrong, but he does want to do what’s right. And so, he chooses his life this time, as an antidote, a foil, to corruption. 

Because he truly believes that Diana is untouchable. She is incorruptible. 

But in choosing this life for himself, he is still a weapon, a tool to be wielded, and he trusts Diana to quite literally point him in the right direction. But is that enough to be happy?

The thing with 47 is that I think happiness will always be out of his reach. But freedom? He has to choose that for himself. He’s not ready to let Diana go - perhaps even less ready than Diana herself at this stage. HITMAN 3 really shoved his loyalty for her in our faces from the beginning. And after 20 years, they have trust, they have affection, they have devotion to each other. So the real question is, in choosing Diana, has 47 chosen his own path? Or is he still choosing to have her pick it for him?

And is choosing someone better than choosing something?