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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years ago

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April 2021 Picks

And we’re back with the end to another month. April! Wow! Lots more great picks to talk about this time. Lots of new ones to the list too. So, let’s dive in!

Spoiler territory ahead!

THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

or should I say Captain America and the Winter Soldier

I just finished the finale last night, so it felt right to start off with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I really enjoyed it and I feel the episodes got stronger as the series went on. Each one felt like a mini-movie and I was upset it was over and had to wait another week for another one. I think the finale was my favorite. Especially the reveal of Sam as Captain America. I love his suit, his speech and the montage of everyone watching him. The last part of the episode was definitely my favorite and one I can watch on repeat. I loved seeing happy Bucky and him goofing off with the kids in Louisiana. He deserves so much happiness as he has now accepted he’s no longer who he once was. Bucky and Sam’s relationship is fantastic and I can’t wait to see it more. I know there’s a possibility of a second season and they have to be in a future MCU movie. Regarding the villain, I feel I was confused for most of the show as to what their objective was. I’m curious if this is because they had to reshoot parts during the pandemic. I also am mad with Sharon. Like what happened with her? She is definitely the true villain of the show. I also don’t love that we haven’t seen the end of Walker (but Wyatt Russell did a fantastic job). I also loved Torres and I hope he becomes the next Falcon. Definitely so different vibes from Wandavision, but just as good!

THE IRREGULARS

This is a show that more people need to be talking about! It was SO GOOD! I feel like I heard some buzz about it when it first came out, but not much after. It follows the teens featured about who live on the streets during Victorian London. The leader of their group, Bea gets approached by Dr. John Watson (that’s right...as in Sherlock and Watson) to take on a case that has more supernatural qualities. The story takes off from there. I think the group dynamic was fantastic. There wasn’t a character I didn’t like and each one brought something else important to the group (which they even bring up towards the end of the show). [I’ve watched a few cast interviews since finishing the finale and they seem like they get along really well in real life too.] There is a kind of love triangle, but it didn’t bother me and was over fast. I did like both combinations though. Lots of twists and turns along the journey. I have no idea if there will be another season, but there should be. It didn’t end on a major cliffhanger, but definitely ended in a way where it could continue nicely. Come on Netflix.

HBO’S THE NEVERS

From one show set in Victorian times to the next. The Nevers just premiered on HBO and HBO Max earlier this month. It follows an ensemble of characters, similar to other HBO shows, ranging from characters who are called “the touched” to men in government who are against them. Being “touched” means they have a special talent or power, which can range from healing to speaking other languages, being extremely tall, or being an expectational inventor (I seriously love Penance. I just don’t know how to explain her ability). Amalia True and Penance Adair are two of the main characters and they help bring in others who are touched to a remodeled orphanage that is a safe haven for people like them. Of course there are those who are against them existing. This seems to be at least two groups as someone is abducting and experimenting on some of the touched, but we don’t know who they are...yet. I love the fusion of a historical setting with a fantasy element. I am very excited to see where the show is headed. I also love seeing so many of my favorite British actors on the screen together.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND

Time for a throw back. Fans of ABC’s Once Upon a Time might remember the short lived spin off following Alice in Wonderland (and some of Aladdin). It only lasted for one season of 13 episodes, but I remember loving it and I am so happy I can rewatch it on Disney Plus. It reminds me of why I enjoyed OUAT so much and I think this show deserved another season or more crossover with the original show. (Luckily the Knave got that opportunity.) I think it should have aired as a summer show or when OUAT was on hiatus, this way more fans would have tuned in. It is something I’ll believe forever.

Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now... I love Alice. I think she’s a badass and a fierce warrior. If you follow some of my posts on my other blog, Lydia-yougowith-Stiles, you’ll know that I love a warrior romance and Cyrus and Alice fit that perfectly (even if they are apart for much of the series). I also love Alice’s hair and outfits. Everything about her is cool. Her relationship with the Knave is one of my favorite friendships ever. I think they balance each other out so well and how they spend most of the journey together. Back in the day, I totally shipped them, but now I definitely don’t. (Even though I don’t love Anastasia.) This is definitely worth the watch if you’ve ever heard of Once Upon a Time or not. There is very cheesy CGI especially for 2013, but once you get pass that you’ll love it.

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

It was on a longer break than I expected, and I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would (which I know doesn’t sound good for a show), but I am still loving all the episodes this season. It feels like there are more musical numbers, which I love. Mandy Moore is killing it with the choreography. There are so many amazing moments. I also was a big fan of the newest glitch episode. Everyone is so talented and I also like that we’ve started to hear from more like Jenna and Tobin. Leif has become one of my favorites. I don’t love the new neighbor next door, but I think we’re done with his storyline. I’m not loving the Zoey love triangle, but I do like her with either Simon or Max. She seems really happy with Simon now. (FYI: I haven’t watched the most recent episode yet. The glitch one was my latest.) Can’t wait for more!

KUNG FU

CW’s newest show this month was Kung Fu, which I just learned was a reboot. It follows Nicky who returns after 3 years to her home in San Francisco. Her family has mixed feelings as she has had no contact with them for the last 3 years. She is now a Kung Fu master and warrior, out to avenge her mentor’s death and stop a villain from acquiring mythical weapons. The show gives me Arrow vibes every time I watch it. It has similar flashbacks each episode to an earlier time in Nicky’s life. While Nicky’s mission is different, the style just gives me early seasons of Arrow vibes, which I am not complaining about. It stars Legacies’ Alyssa Chen, who I didn’t love on Legacies, but instantly fell in love with Nicky. I think she’s a bad ass character and love how she’s fighting for the underdogs on the streets of San Fran, while also taking down a bigger evil. The love triangle is heating up and I’m definitely team Henry (even though there’s some mystery there). I think he’s great and once again we have an awesome warrior romance. They balance each other so well and it’s only been like 3 episodes. Now they’ve also been sleuthing together and it’s just amazing.

NANCY DREW

Are you sick of hearing me talk about CW’s Nancy Drew? I hope not because I’m going to fangirl again. I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH! I can’t wait till Wednesday comes and I tune in a little after it starts, so then I can fast forward on my DVR. Then when the episode is over I basically start it all over again and watch select scenes that were awesome. (More specifically, they tend to be Nancy and Ace scenes because I love them and we’re entering so much angst I don’t know if my heart will be able to handle it!!!)

I’ll say it a thousand times: THIS CAST IS EVERYTHING! Their dynamic is amazing. You can have any match ups and it’ll be a great time. There is not one person I don’t like. I was so upset that there wasn’t a new episode last week (especially because it was my birthday). I loved the last one with the Hardy Boys and that Nace reveal! OMG! I’m so sad that Grant has left again because we barely had him, but I feel he’ll eventually come back. He has to. I loved the ending when he spoke to Thom by signing to him. (My heart!) I seriously can’t say enough great things about this show. It is not your typical CW show and deserves more love and views. So happy a third season has already been confirmed!!

LAST NOTES

Just started Shadow and Bone on Netflix and am loving it! I’m sure I’ll have an entire post dedicated to it when I’m done. (Currently going to start episode 6.) I have no background on the universe or the books (just what my sister is filling me in with as we watch). I definitely plan on reading Six of Crows after this!

So what are you enjoying? Let me know. I’m always looking for more shows to add to the list! Can never have enough.

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muthaz-rapapa · 4 years ago

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Let’s talk TroPreCure! (^∀^ 🌺)

i’m so stupidly proud of this dumb pun “tropurikyua~”, hahahahaha

Last post of the year and wow is there are lot to be excited for!

I even had to make a list for the stuff I want to talk about and I’m sure I already forgot one or two things but we’ll get to them as we continue to float~ along the wave to February 28th, mmkay? :)

Now for what has peaked my interest so far. And yes, we have to talk about the following first:

1) HealPre the shortest Precure season??

Unless they plan for double features in February (which I doubt but you never know), HealPre is likely going to reach only 45 episodes long instead of the usual 48~50 before TroPre I’m using this shortening of the title for now so if there’s a better alternative, tell me and I’ll switch out begins its broadcast.

Understandable because the producers probably want to get back to their normal scheduling as soon as possible (toy sales, y’know) and I suspect pushing the start of the new season back by a month is the most they’re willing to compromise.

As for me, I’m quite happy about this since HealPre’s lost its hold on my attention a while ago so the sooner TroPre gets here, the better. Though the downside might be a scrambled climax and a rushed, underwhelming ending for HealPre (I dunno if it’s January’s titles that feel a bit messy or if the hiatus is still throwing me off) but whatever. We’ll refresh ourselves with the new blood Cures so it’s all good.

2) Tropical movie announced for Autumn 2021, no All Stars??

(source)

First saw this mentioned on Youtube somewhere but it’s all over the fandom forums by now. I mean, HealPre’s movie is set for March, the usual time slot for All Stars release. If Toei intended for there to be an All Stars in 2021, there’s no way they would announce the seasonal movie before it so speculations of them skipping it this year are probably true.

To squeeze it somewhere between March and October-ish would force them to readjust their budgets as well and I don’t think even Toei wants to go through that extra hassle after all the trouble the pandemic’s caused for everyone already. It’s just easier to resume All Stars in 2022.

That, and I think Laura being a major character in TroPre despite not having a Cure title (yet) would make for an awkward situation when the three latest teams gather so perhaps that’s also one of the reasons. But I’ll get back to Laura in a bit.

3) Cure Summer is a RAINBOW Cure

So god help me if I see anyone calling her a Pink Cure.

Yes, she’s the lead Cure for this season. NO, she is not a Pink Cure.

Look, even the official website has a rainbow overlay for her profile pic and text font while everyone else’s respective theme colors are a solid hue:

Therefore, RAINBOW.

In promotional material and merchandising, they’re probably going to advertise her primarily with pink bah and at worst, she might occasionally be labeled as a White Cure with multiple subcolors (her outfit is not pink-dominant) but definitely NOT. PINK.

...also, this goes without saying but f***yea, we finally got a lead Cure practically and unabashedly wearing the LGBTQ flag and you cannot tell me otherwise, Toei!

Own up to it! Declare Manatsu/Cure Summer as the Precure queer icon!

I’m not gonna stop yellin’ until you do! 😠

4) Laura = obvious midseason Cure is obvious

First of all, Laura is a babe. I already love her the best and she’s not even Precure yet. <3

Anyways, the set-up is pretty much in the description. Important main character who’s not a mascot, stated to have a self-confident personality and just speaks her mind (oooh, I like~ :D), magical/foreign being from another world looking for Precure to save her home, possesses her own special item(s), has aspirations to become the next Queen (so she’s a princess-candidate or something to that effect, I suppose).

We’ve seen various combinations of these traits in past midseason (and a few starter) Cures so nobody should be surprised when we all guessed that one of the Cures would be a real live mermaid.

The only question is why not just make Laura a Cure from the get-go if she’s introduced to us at the beginning (like Hime or Lala) and having a team of five with no unnecessary extra add-ons later on (like Smile).

Well, there’s a simple answer for that: formula.

Toei is afraid that if they don’t spit out some new animation sequence at the halfway and third quarter points of the show, the kids will lose interest and abandon the series altogether. Which means failed toy sales. Oh nooo... [/sarcasm]

...Yea.

And this way they can also have Laura available in the Cure lineup for the next All Stars in 2022 instead of making her sit the fight out if we were going to have one in 2021. I’m convinced that’s gotta be one of the reasons. *shrug*

But ok, whatever. Her debut is gonna be later, that’s all. She’s a delayed Cure. Midseason Cure, same difference.

Moving along to the more important stuff now like what’s her Cure name gonna be, y/y?

Well, knowing Toei, a translation of the term “mermaid” into another language is the most predictable route even though we already have a Cure Mermaid. Not like that ever stopped them from repeating words before (ex. Cure Happy vs Cure Felice). Though if they do go down that road, I hope they opt for the Spanish/Italian “sirena” and not the French “sirène” because the latter sounds too close to how Cure Selene is pronounced in Japanese. And, putting it nicely, we all know Japanese pronunciation of foreign words is as off kilter as can be.

Hell, even the the Portuguese “sereia” sounds aesthetic as hell so it’d be nice if they can just remember there are other languages that exist out there besides Japanese, English and French when making the final decision at the writing table! *stomps foot* >:/

Alternatively, “nereid” or “naiad” are good choices too but they remind me too much of Greek myths and Laura’s from the Grand Ocean which covers more than just a couple of seas (Greece is surrounded by three, btw) so...

I dunno. But whatever it’s gonna be, she’s definitely got a strong association with water and her powers will probably be based on that.

As for theme color, since there’s noticeably no blue or green Cure in the starter lineup, it’s likely she will take up that spot when she debuts around ep 20.

Pink is also open since Cure Summer, again, is technically not a Pink Cure and Laura’s hair and tail fin are hot and light pink respectively but looking at Laura’s design and concept, does anyone seriously believe that?

Her upper torso consists of aquamarine while the body of her tail is definitely some shade of cyan, implying they’re aiming for somewhere around the middle of green and blue on the lighter spectrum.

And yea, I’m aware that green and blue are considered exchangeable in some perspectives with how close some of their shades are to each other but officially, I think Laura’s gonna be grouped with the Green Cures.

Cuz of the hair. If Laura’s gonna keep it the same or a similar shade after transforming, that is. The Blues have always had cool-colored hair so putting Laura in with them might disrupt that harmony whereas if you put her with the few Greens there are (including Parfait), she’d fit right in.

I mean, we’ll see but that makes the most sense, doesn’t it?

On another note, I just want to say that I love how they added frills to her arms instead of letting her elbows go bare naked. It definitely makes her look more like a genuine mermaid than if she didn’t have them (remember, half fish doesn’t mean half the body :P).

5) Magical Items

Frankly, I’m tired of seeing the transformation device being a compact again even though one of the main motifs is make-up this season. But at least, as far as Precure compacts goes, the Tropical one is my favorite cuz of how cute and delightfully colorful its toy version looks! So I guess I’m okay with it.

The Heart Rouge Rod, though? ...I dunno. I think it would’ve been fine without that...straw (?) jutting out at the top. It looks weird, doesn’t it look weird? :S

As for the collectible clip-ons, I can live without those for the rest of my life. Yeesh.

Laura’s items, the Aqua Pot and the Ocean Prism Mirror.

Again with the portable, travel-size housing. *sigh* 😩

Alright, I can let this year slide cuz Laura (I’m so soft for her, omg) probably won’t be getting legs for 20 weeks so she’s got to move about on land somehow. But unless they’re really thinking about turning this idea of carrying your apartment around in your bag/pocket/purse into a reality (cuz that would be effin’ awesome), please be more creative with your toys.

On the other hand, I’m much more interested in the Ocean Prism Mirror but from what Kusyami (the Precure merchandise reviews I follow on Youtube) said in his latest vid, this is the ED dance item so don’t know if it’ll actually have an relevance to the story or not. But I did hear him mention it having something to do with the Queen as well and since Laura wishes to become Queen, maybe it’ll be important after all? Maybe it’s her transformation device?

That’d be super cool. Let’s continue the trend of the midseason Cure having a different transformation item than the starters. Honestly, we should alternate every other year or two but we’ve gone three seasons with all of them using the same henshin gimmicks up till HealPre and I just want a break from that.

6) Fin sleeves??

These look so impractical for combat so maybe it’s exclusive to group attacks.

And/or a sort of precursor to the super forms?

*GASP* Does that mean they all eventually turn into mermaids? 🤩

7) Yui finally became Precure!! 😭

lol, it’s all crack from this point on so don’t take it too seriously but man, after Yuni’s deceptive braids, I thought I wasn’t gonna see anything that reminded me of Yui for a while and lo behold, Sango.

kehehehehehe xD;

Though Yui might be closer to Minori in terms of personal interests (fairytales and storybooks).

8) Akira, the actual Onee-chan version

I didn’t think this when I first saw her but once I read “Onee-san” in her profile, there’s no saving you now. Sorry, Asuka. 😅

Also, damn, do her sandals make her feet look big! Compare them to the heels she wears as Flamingo. Are they even the same?! lololol

9) ...this sounds awfully familiar...

Translation:

Tokimeku Tokonatsu! [Exciting/Thrilling Everlasting Summer!] Cure Summer! Kirameku Hoseki! [Sparkling Jewel!] Cure Coral! Hirameku Fuurutsu! [Flashing Fruit!] Cure Papaya!

Japanese reiteration:

Mallow/Mao: Pink no tokimeki! Lillie: Blue no kirameki! Lana/Suiren: Yellow no kagayaki!

….........

@Toei

Care to explain yourselves, punks?!

୧(ʘ ∀ ʘ ╬)

#it is 1:30 AM and im hungry and still have to do work on new year's eve so i'll come back to amuse-rage later #tropical rouge! precure #precure 2021 #cure summer #cure coral #cure papaya #cure flamingo #laura la mer

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antihero-writings · 5 years ago

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Stolen Sunlight

Fandom: Tangled | Tangled the Series | Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure

Summary: Arianna never thought she'd find herself afraid of a fourteen-year-old boy, but the events of Secret of the Sundrop won't seem to leave her.

She needs to talk to Varian in prison. Not for his sake...but for her own.

Character focus: Arianna and Varian

Notes: This is a fic I started writing many many years ago, during the hiatus between seasons 1 and 2. I intended to post it way back then, as a long one-shot. I continued to occasionally work on it over the years, however, it's proven one of the hardest fics I've ever written to edit, (mostly due to the amount of internal monologue).

I finally decided that probably the only way to get it actually edited and posted is to break it up into multiple chapters, despite the fact that it's essentially only one scene, and I feel like that messes with the format. Hopefully it'll help me edit, and end up making it easier for people to read too XD I might post the full version of this, unbroken up, too after I finish it. But I finally got fed up with my editing process and decided this was the only way.

I'm aware that plenty of other people have written Varian and Arianna fics over the years, but at the time I started this there weren't that many yet, and I worked so hard on this, I still wanted to post it, even if others have done things like it. Plus, I'm not sure how many people have written it this heavily from Arianna's perspective.

I hope you all enjoy it, either way! Please don't hesitate to leave a comment to let me know, if so!!

Chapter 1: Fractured Memory

Sun splinters through the castle windows, designing reflections on the newly polished floor.

When she walks into the library, her mouth drops open; The entire room gleams. That Corona sunlight bounces between the tiles, tables, and shelves like a little boy full of energy, laughing as he leaps around the room.

It may be a royal library, but there’s usually still a layer of dust draped over everything, sealing up the gaps, and clogging up the stories. The servants try their best, but it’s hard to get into all the crevices between the shelves, the cracks between the pages.

The tiles glitter, the shelves look new, the books don’t cough up dust when she lifts them, even a few of their bindings are mended.

She stays a while to admire it before heading back for her room, and as she does, Arianna smiles, her gait almost dreamy—so like her daughter’s.

Who would take such care to polish her library? She appreciates the gesture more than words can express, but she would like to say ‘thank you’ at least.

A curious sight down the hall interrupts her wondering; a laundry cart, moving on its own.

A very full laundry cart, that is…Cassandra doesn’t usually fill them so much.

“May I…help you?” she walks up to the cart, tilting her head, strands of hair falling to the side.

“Oh, no, it’s fine! I got this!” the laundry cart replies.

The ventriloquist reveals himself: a boy steps out from behind it. She guesses he must be one of Rapunzel’s friends, since she doesn’t remember seeing him here before, and he doesn’t exactly look like a royal servant, (despite the fact that he’s performing one of their jobs).

He pushes back his hair—black, with a streak of turquoise at the front—and smooths out his apron. Upon seeing her, his eyes widen with shock.

“Oh!” he stumbles, attempting to bow too low, too quickly, “Your majesty! I-I am so sorry! I didn’t realize—!”

She laughs, holding out a hand to steady him.

“Don’t worry. Please. I’m Arianna.”

“Oh—O-Okay. That…seems to run in the family,” he mutters beneath his breath. “I’m Varian.” He leans confidently against the laundry cart…which starts moving, so he pulls it back with all his strength before it gets out of hand.

“Oh! Varian! Rapunzel told me about you!”

He freezes, his eyes trailing back to her, like people talking about him is usually a bad thing. “She…She has?”

“Of course!” she steps closer. “You’re the alchemist, right?”

He pauses, blinks, then his face breaks into the biggest grin. He clears his throat, rubbing fake dirt off his gloves, trying to hide his joy, as he looks back up at her. “Ten points to the lady in the crown.”

She smiles.

“Are you here for the completion today?”

He nods. “I think I’ve got a pre-tty good chance of snagging that first prize if I do say so myself,” he pulls on his apron straps, then pauses, realizing how arrogant that sounds. “Not to uh…toot my own horn or anything. But it doesn’t seem like there’s anything like my invention in the running, so I think once Master Doctor St. Croix sees it he’ll be impressed! At least I hope so.”

“Well, if your invention is anything like the ones Rapunzel has told me about you’ll have no trouble snagging that blue ribbon.”

“Oh stop,” he flicks his wrist to wave her off, but is beaming from ear to ear.

She notes that she may be encouraging him a little too much. The experiments Rapunzel has told her about aren’t exactly all blue-ribbon worthy. Or, perhaps they would be…if they all worked properly. At the same time, she isn’t sure labelling him as dangerous, and reckless is really fair. She and Willow had tried out their share of inventions, which often failed in a grand array of explosions. If they had worked properly, growing up wouldn’t have been as colorful. At least he was trying his best to help people with his inventions. Without the explosive failures, there was no room for fiery success either.

“Wait, shouldn’t you be there with the other contestants now?”

“Oh, yeah.” He says nonchalantly. “But I figured since I’m going second-to-last I’ve got a decent amount of time before I have to present. Cassi—Cassandra has agreed to be my assistant, so I’m helping her out with her lady-in-waiting duties first.”

“Don’t let her make you do all her work.” She says in a motherly way. Then gasps, “The library!”

He winces. “Did I do something wrong? I-I can fix it, don’t worry!”

“No, no!” she puts her hands on his shoulders, “So you were the one who cleaned it?”

“Yeees…?”

She pulls him into a hug. “Thank you so much.”—his eyes widen with shock—“I’ve never seen the place look so beautiful.” She releases him.

“Oh!” he rubs the back of his neck and the smile turns sheepish.

“That must have taken you hours!”

“It was no big deal. Nothing a little home-alchemy can’t fix.” He says like a salesman.

“How did you do it?”

“Just a compound of my own invention,” he digs in his pocket and holds up a little, blue orb between his thumb and forefinger. “Most people don’t understand the more practical uses for alchemy.” he marches forward, hands on his hips, in a hyperbolic show of pride, making his voice sound deep, “that’s why I make it a mission to show the world the value of alchemy! To boldly go where no man has gone before!” he laughs, his pose collapsing, “Or something like that.”

No wonder Rapunzel had such nice things to say about him. There weren’t a lot of people out there who were so…genuine. People who cleaned libraries because they needed cleaning, who created solutions for problems simply because they needed fixing.

“Maybe one day you can teach me.”

“Really?” He drops the ball and it explodes into a sudsy mess on the already polished floor. “I mean, not that I think a queen should be doing housework! But…really?”

“Please,” she waves him off. “I wasn’t always a queen, you know. If Willow and I had had tricks like this maybe our house would have always looked like a pigsty. Sometimes I think we started going off on adventures just to get away from the smell.” She leans in closer, whispering behind her hand, “One time, I set the kitchen on fire trying to bake a birthday cake for Frederic.”

He laughs, then pauses like he isn’t sure he’s allowed to. “I guess not every queen is scared to get her hands dirty, huh?”

“Uh huh,” she puts her hands on her hips, “You should have seen the look on his face.”

“Happy birthday huh?”

“Now make sure to always send someone to Monty’s for his cake…spare us all.”

He fails to keep himself from laughing again, then pauses.

“Well… I really should be getting back to these chores. This laundry isn’t going to clean itself, amIright?” he bobs his head and walks backwards to the cart. “But it was really nice talking to you, your Maj—I mean,” he points, “Arianna.”

“Let me help you! This cart is too heavy to carry on your own.” she rushes over to the other end—he’s so thin, she’s afraid he’ll snap in two if he does all the chores by himself.

“No no!” he comes dangerously close to slapping her hands away. “I mean,” he smiles nervously, pulling his fingers close to his chest, realizing his outburst to the Queen. “I wouldn’t want you to get your…er…royal hands dirty…Right?”

She smiles.

Well, if a little stubborn.

“As long as you’re sure.”

* The scene shifts, smearing like a painting left out in the rain. The reflection becomes more sinister; a glowing tower of amber, and encased within, a man reaching to the sky as if trying to catch rays of sunlight; as if light alone can break himself out of his prison of stained glass. The curtain to this godforsaken show is crumpled at the bottom. A giant machine stands in the middle of the room, made of metal, lightning, and cold, haunting music.

The room smells like sulfur, and rust, and a lot of other chemicals she can’t quite place. Things from the earth which don’t smell natural at all.

The same boy stands before her. The same, and yet…not the same at all. Along with the light from the windows, so too has disappeared the light from his eyes. The blue is something akin to moonlight; less the gleam of day, the reflection of the sunrise, full of hope, instead, more an eclipsed glow, shrouded by darkness.

She feels that rusted metal, the cold in his eyes, wrap like icy hands around her ankles.

She looks quizzically from her cuffed ankles to him. Doesn’t the warden usually cuff the prisoner’s hands?

He seems to understand her confusion, because he answers her unasked question;

“Please,” he scoffs. His eyes meet hers, and he smirks. The words, the smile, no longer contain compassion, they are manufactured with bite and scorn; “I wouldn’t want you to get your royal hands dirty.”

He tugs hard on the chain, showing that it’s connected to the lab’s floor, as if saying to a toddler You’re stuck here, understand? He walks back over to his desk—littered with bottles, liquid bubbling and seething like his emotions, an array of colors that tell nothing of what they contain.

If the color green is sleep, then what color is death?

She looks up at the golden tower in the center of the room. She doesn’t want to, but she can’t look away.

—Look away…like Frederic did, when people like Varian were crying out for his help against the rocks. Look away, like Rapunzel had to when the storm was coming, and Quirin was being imprisoned. Look away, like they all did after the storm passed.

She still couldn’t believe her husband would, could do something like that. That was the reason she was here, the reason the boy was hurt, the reason…the mistake, the poorly made choice.

No, she couldn’t think that way. Besides, she knew he had his reasons, that he wanted to make sure people didn’t panic, and he wanted to keep Rapunzel safe. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t fully understand the situation.

And she would never blame Rapunzel. Rapunzel had had to make one of the most difficult choices of her life that day, had had to learn too much about being queen, too soon: that it was about choices, and sometimes those choices would be leaving behind the one, for the sake of the many.

And the amber was the other reason, and that wasn’t Frederic’s fault...The amber Varian himself had mistakenly made.

Still, it would have been so easy. So easy to come back to him once the storm had ended. So easy...

So where did the fault lie, really?—

Was it amber? Was amber the color of death? Or just another kind of sleep?

The boy’s eyes shift, glaring at her with nothing more than bitterness.

Or was it blue? The color of the moon, a well-timed strike of lightning, an icy landscape. Was blue the color of death?

“What are you going to do?”

“Yeah,” he scoffs, “I’ll reveal my whole plan to you. Let me go into the tragic backstory of Varian,” he waves his hand grandly, “The poor boy, who lost his father to an experiment, a few rocks, a storm, and a princess’ broken promise.” He leans on the desk, resting his cheek in his hand in some mock-loving fashion, his eyes aimed on her like gunfire. “It’s simple; Rapunzel broke her promise.” He stands back up to his full height—which, admittedly, isn’t very high, but it’s more impressive from her place on the ground. “I tried asking nicely for her help, and I was denied.” He jabs a finger on the table to emphasize his point; the first sign of violence. “Now I’m going to ask” he smirks, tilting his head to the side, his eyes half-lidded in the dark, “not so nicely.”

He pauses a moment, glancing at the chemicals on his desk.

“I once said I’d teach you the ways of practical alchemy.” He reaches forward and takes up a flask. “Well, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind, but I will show you something.”

He walked over to her, holding the flask full of something green and frothy that smells like dog breath.

Was it green? Was death’s color the same as sleep? The colors of leaves and grass and everything everyone thinks is a sign of life. ...It would be a cruel joke.

“This is a little solution I like to call…Varium.” There’s something hurt in his eyes when he says the word. “You see, when it reacts with the rocks,” he runs his fingers along the black spire jutting through the wall between them—one could be fooled into thinking in an intrigued way, but there was something harsh in his touch, resentful in his eyes, “it has this tendency to—” he held it over the stones, the liquid trickling slowly downwards in the flask, teasing her breath to catch itself and fall. He turns the bottle upright, and bites his lip, closing his eyes, willing himself not to turn around and look at what this has done before.

What he’s done.

“Well, you get the idea,” he mutters, returning the flask to his desk.

She doesn’t have to ask, and he doesn’t have to finish.

“You think if you threaten me Rapunzel will work with you?” there’s a bite to her words.

“Ten points to the lady in the crown.”

She pauses as he returns to work, her eyes trailing along the chain, the floor, jumping onto the windowsill—the rocks interrupting her gaze at every bend and break of the room—searching for any way out, any chance at rescue, anything her husband and daughter could use against him.

Was death black? The color everyone thinks it is. The black of these rocks, the low blue glowing beneath them, destroying his home, destroying their hearts, their chances at friendship and…It surely seemed like it.

“She won’t, you know.”

He raises an eyebrow as if to say oh, you think?

“Rapunzel.” She tries to urge her confidence, like a stubborn pet, to come out, but it shies away by the second. “She won’t help you.”

He smiles. “You make your hypotheses, I’ll make mine.”

“And what are yours?” her own eyes are half lidded.

He thinks over his words. “She can’t…help but help. She always had this sick compassion about her.” After a moment he adds softly, “…but only for her kingdom.”

Anger, injustice, bubble within her chest.

“You don’t have to be like this, you know.”

“And she didn’t have to break her promise,” he tilts his head, “ya know.”

She grits her teeth, clenches her fist. “I met you once. What happened to that boy who—”

He laughs a little, cutting her off. “Yeah, well, he learned a couple things about the real world.”

For a moment, just one brief moment, there is something there. Something in his eyes, a memory, a reaction, like the chemicals. Something real, something lost, something hurt, something…something not this. Incased within a prison of blue—

And then that moment ended.

117 notes · View notes

dayseternal-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Dude.

Over 10,000 Hits 🎉

I am alarmed, I have been alarmed from the start.

This is still a celebration post, but unlike my unashamed Nightdreams celebration post, this one is an unashamed reflection celebration post 🌱. On something I’ve spent quite a bit of effort and time on, whether I actually finish this story or not (lol I will), it’s a story to be proud of. And it’s something I’d like to articulate my feelings on before I end it for good 🎀.

Below the cut is a very long trash love letter 💌 to myself and anyone who’d like a peek at my narcissism. I am a slut for self-reflection.

Ahead of that, thank you for enjoying my stuffs everyone 💝.

I often think to write for myself and for fun, that no one else will love my fic more than me or have more fun than me... That’s idealistic. That’s a mindset to keep. Especially as a new fic writer when no one recognized my username, it was a way to keep myself from losing motivation. May agitosgirl always be my inspiration and role model🙏🏼.

But I wonder how can I return to that mindset in its purest form? When I wrote It’s No Secret, I was ecstatic to hit 500 views. I had about 5 readers who motivated me with their comments, and it was all very precious. And It’s No Secret continues to be my favorite fic even though it’s far from my tightest writing. (Isn’t it because I actually wrote that one just for myself? Comments and kudos were all just bonus points.)

White Lilies is probably one of my least favorite stories. If I were to rank my fics in order of preference, it would be near the bottom. If I were to rank my fics in order of “fics I’d like NarutoDays (DAYS8) to be remembered for,” White Lilies would not be at the top, either. I almost dislike that White Lilies is the story that caught people’s attention.

The best entertainment to me is inconsequential shows like HGTV, Say Yes to the Dress, and sparkly shoujo manga. How is it that people don’t feel the same way??? lol jk

But to persevere in a story, that is a part of growth as a fic writer, too. And to write for others’ enjoyment more than my own, that’s not a bad thing, even though I felt more stress...

OH but those White Lilies arts are certainly my faves. Gorgeous and very good. Yes. Amazing on all accounts. I wonder if I would have kept writing without them. No? Probably no, right? Yeah, I would have stopped. Since I started the story to just scratch the itch “Medicine” gave me. Once that mosquito bite faded around chapter 3, I was ready to move on. But now, very tangibly, other people I admire very much in the fandom spent actual time and effort in creating lovely pieces for the story. I was blessed and that’s not something to ignore. I mean, I could have. At the most, that would just be disappointing. At the least, White Lilies would be another hiatus fic in my list.

Jeez, but it would be even more hypocritical to not acknowledge that the attention was very nice. I can go so far as to say that I expected someone to keep giving me the affirmation that this junk was good since I wasn’t giving myself any kick of enjoyment. Is that still dishonest. I think I told a reader of White Lilies that I don’t ask people for comments or kudos. That’s true, I don’t ask. But I’ve expected it for White Lilies for the past few chapters. Ew. That’s gross Days, I hate that. What if I closed comments on the last chapter of White Lilies. That might be good. Well I don’t have a good enough reason to do that.

I wonder if that’s why I dislike White Lilies. Not for its angst. Not for its difficult feelings and its difficult romance...well, actually, no, I dislike White Lilies for those reasons. But on top of those things, the story has altogether gone against my foundation and motivation in fic writing. Did I have fun. ? The comment section at the beginning was very stressful. OMG no I shall never forget that one reader who got way too emotional about the story and made my comment section such a mess! Why didn’t that reader put their little comments into one big comment. For real. Plus, it was an anon reader. Don’t anonymous readers need to put their email address in every time they comment? How humbug is that? My goodness.

Oh ho ho nooooo that one reader who freaking told me to fix my writing using Grammarly. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH

...

So after that when I moderated the comments, I actually started to enjoy reading comments again. Huh. SO ACTUALLY when did I finally not feel anxiety anymore about the comment section. Not until Chapter 5? But that was the chapter I wasn’t happy with and ended up revising the ending after I published it.

I mean to tell myself that it’s only this most recent Chapter 6 that I felt good and normal and 安心 and ホッとしている to update. I’m not kidding myself, what I terrible thing to realize now. No wonder I dislike White Lilies. The overall experience has not been that great.

Well “great” is too general a way to describe writing this story. There’s been many wonderful things. The new attention and recognition and compliments and gratitude were amazing. The art. The playlist. The funny reader impatience in the asks 👏🏼.

OOOOOOOh the Bookmark summaries!!!!

Hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂. I love these too much. These summaries give me life. White Lilies in a nutshell.

Ahh yeah. So funny. Those are so good. gogohai been making me laugh since August.

Remember at the start, I was so confused by the hit count on chapter 1 🤔. I thought it was a bunch of antis accidentally clicking in, or SasuNaru fans or something, so I made those notes at the top that clearly stated how I’m not anti-NH. It turns out everyone’s masochists for angst lol.

Anyway, I know I’ll finish this story. What a strange feeling. I think it must be because I worked so hard through the slumps already between Chapter 3 & 4, and Chapter 4 & 5, and Chapter 5 & 6, I know Chapter 7 will certainly happen, too. How nice.

You know, White Lilies, it is what it is. I have desensitized from mean comments. Like, I think comments can’t hurt me anymore. I’ll just be like 🤷🏻‍♀️ in response. The attention on this story boosted my ego so much that I now know without a doubt that my writing is good enough and anyone who tells me otherwise can go ahead bumbai get bachi.

That’s really good. For how unenjoyable it has been at many times, I have definitely sacrificed “fun” for “the sense of accomplishment,” and it’s not wrong or less valuable to spend my free time seeking accomplishment and completion in something so inconsequential as fanfiction.

However this story flipped my sense of purpose in writing, where accomplishment became tied to reader feedback. Accomplishment usually ties to my sense of fun and enjoyment. Instead I’ve been seeking that sense of fun in the readers, whether through their own personal enjoyment or through the number of comments/kudos/likes/reblogs. How boring is that? Ah! Very boring. It’s not wrong to seek validation through the readers. Many writers and artists want their work to be seen and enjoyed by many because the act of sharing is in itself joyful. Fine. Haven’t I just found this a very tiring way to go about posting my stuff.

I am nostalgic for my mentality of two years ago.

It’ll be good to finish White Lilies. The excitement will be done and over with certainly, and this same amount of attention will never happen again. As one of the nerdiest nerds in one of the nerdiest corners of nerdy fandom called Fanfiction, it’s a privilege to have my imagination on so many other people’s browser, to transport so many people away from their real life problems to fake problems instead lol, and to participate in an exchange of ideas with other writers and artists in the Naruto fandom. What a great thing!

It’ll be even better to focus completely on stuff that I actually like, though, won’t it 💖.

#white lilies #ao3 stats #fun times (?)#long post #self-reflection

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tjkiahgb · 5 years ago

Text

On August 13th, 2018, at 8:20 PM, TJ Kippen performed a basketball-themed apology rap for Buffy Driscoll and completed his redemption arc. In doing so, he became a full and complete hashtag good boi and fulfilled this blog’s ridiculous destiny.

This post is scheduled to go up on August 13th, 2019, at 8:20 PM. It only feels right that I retire this blog on the one year anniversary of that moment.

Okay. It’s not that dramatic. I’m not deleting my account or logging out forever or anything. I’ll be around. I’ll check in and like some posts and hang out like the kid who graduated high school but won’t leave. He keeps coming back and acting chummy with the teachers and it’s like, doesn’t he have better stuff to do?

The point is, my queue is depleted, my drafts are empty. I don’t have a shift in fandoms planned. I don’t have anything planned. It’s time for me to turn my attention to other things and stop thinking about this show and writing about it and working on this blog.

So that’s basically the tl;dr of this whole deal. I’m going to write some rambling personal stuff so if you don’t care, which most people probably won’t, then thanks for reading and thanks for all the memories. It’s been fun.

Okay, lemme ramble. And if you’ve read this blog for a while, you’ve probably heard some of this already, but whatever, this is my goodbye post.

Way back in October of 2017, I came across a post on a website for TV news that said “Disney Channel to Feature Its First Gay Main Character in Andi Mack Season 2″. I didn’t know what Andi Mack was, and I hadn’t watched Disney Channel in well over a decade. I remembered reading about the two moms on Good Luck Charlie when it happened, but I also remembered that it was, you know, mostly nothing. A lot of controversy for what was just a quick little thing. But this headline noted that it was a Main Character. And I’m reading the article and it’s talking about how he’s going to have this journey in season two and the producers had talked to GLAAD and other groups to get it right, and I’m like, wow, this is pretty cool, this really seems like they’re putting some respect into this. (I’m also thinking about how much young, closeted me would’ve killed for something like this.)

So I set my DVR to record it not knowing what to expect. Mostly thinking it was just going to be your standard Disney Channel show: cheesy and corny and bad jokes, but I’ll catch the coming out scene and it’ll be cool to see how they handle it and that’ll probably be that.

And then I’m watching the episode and I’m like, this is... not bad? In fact, more than not bad, this is way better than it has any right to be. And then I got to the coming out scene, which was so well done, and I’m just... shocked. This is like Pixar. Like, it’s for kids, but I can watch it as an adult and pick up on themes and subtleties. This is not like the shows from my childhood. Where was this show when I was growing up?

Next thing I know I’m watching the next episode. And the next one. And I’m starting to care for these characters. I can forgive a lot of issues with plot if I care about the characters and what this show did, maybe as well as any show on television, is made you care for the characters, from top to bottom.

So now I’m watching the show regularly. At some point, I went back and binged through season one on DisneyNow. I’m in, as a casual viewer at this point at least.

And then I get to 2.11, and the swing scene happens, and I watch it wordlessly, and it ends, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I could not believe what I just saw. I thought for sure this show was just going to have a couple of coming out scenes and that would be the end of it. Had I really just watched a scene that was hinting at a gay romance?

I wanted so badly to talk about it with someone else to see if they were seeing what I was seeing, but, as you may not be surprised to learn, none of my adult friends were watching Andi Mack. So I started looking around online. And I eventually found my way here, to this site, to the tag. And people were seeing what I was seeing. And people were excited about it, and I was like, okay, cool, I might’ve found my community.

So I started lurking around here. And I would check in after 2.12 and 2.13, and I was really starting to enjoy it. Most of the stuff I watch that I care about I’ll watch with friends or family and talk about it with them, so I never really thought being a part of a fandom would be worthwhile. Plus, I’d hear about shipping wars and other nonsense like that, and I’m like, I’m not going to make an account to argue with people over fictional characters’ relationships.

But what I was finding about this community was that it was more positive than that. There were arguments, sure. You’re going to get them in any group of people. But for the most part, people just seemed happy. They were posting theories and memes and gifs and jokes and fanfics. And they were celebrating the characters and developments. I don’t know if that’s special to the Andi Mack fandom or not, but it seemed special to me.

That’s around when I started thinking about making an account, during that hiatus between 2A and 2B. But I was like, do I want to commit to this? What’s the point of my account? What do I want to say? And at some point in the hiatus, I was checking the tag, and I saw a gifset. It was by an account, since deleted and gone, but who, at the time, was very prominent in the fandom. And the gifset was all about attacking Tyrus. It was trying to take everything nice about what had happened between TJ and Cyrus and stomp on it. Tyrus was like a little baby ship at this point. People were just starting to get into it, the numbers weren’t that big. There wasn’t even really a name for the ship back then. The Tyrus tag was mostly that professional wrestler and the CJ tag was even worse. And this account had decided they were going to use their platform to try and make this small group of people in the fandom feel bad about liking their ship. I just remember thinking, why? Why be like that? It just seemed so unnecessary. And for the briefest of moments, I thought, okay, maybe I’ll make an account to be a troll and argue this stuff. And then I was like, nah, that’s just going to make the tag worse. When you see someone trying to ruin things for other people, you can give them attention and power, or you can just do your own thing.

So what I decided to do instead was to make an account that would add to the positivity I had been seeing. To just be one of the many voices doing fun stuff to drown out the bad. I could put out dumb posts to hopefully make people laugh, or eventually start writing recaps to give people something to do after watching the episode. There wasn’t really any bigger goal than that. Kill some time while celebrating the show and making the tag a more fun place, if only incrementally.

I’d like to think I did that. That I haven’t written or made too many things that have bummed people out and that most of my posts have hopefully made things better for people who wanted to hang out on here and talk about the show.

That’s all. At the end of everything, that was all. Just try to leave a net-positive wherever you go.

So that’s why I joined tumblr. Here’s why I stayed.

I am an unemployed writer. I’m an employed something else, but I would like to be an employed writer and I am currently not. And what that really means is I’m an unread writer. It means I write stuff and I try to convince people to read it and buy it, but most of the time they don’t. Most of the time, my stuff sits around waiting and hoping to be read. And when that’s the case, you can start to feel doubt.

What I didn’t realize when I started this account was that I would also be getting positivity back. I mean, I probably should have. It was the whole reason I started this, because I liked the positivity here. I guess I just didn’t expect it to be returned to me.

But it has. It has tremendously. Just writing this silly stuff that I do and putting it out there and getting feedback on it has meant so much to me. People saying something I’ve written is funny or interesting or just saying that they enjoyed it is such a confidence boost. You feel like, okay, people like my jokes or the way I think or whatever. There’s an audience for me somewhere. People who will get me. I just need to stick with it.

That’s what you all have been for me this last year and a half. More than just making this a fun place to share our love of this show, you’ve made this a place for me to feel seen.

I try not to tie too much of my self-esteem to the amount of interaction my posts get. (Seriously, don’t do that, it can be really unhealthy. I’m like, if a post flops, it flops. No biggie. Move on to the next one.) But every note I do get on something I’ve written lets me know I’ve done something right. The reblogs, the likes, the follows, the nice messages in my inbox, the comments on the posts. Any of it. All of it. It lets me know I’ve been read. It makes me feel like I’ve made a connection. And that means the world to me.

So thank you, to any and all of you who participated in this thing with me. Thank you for reading. Thank you for being a part of my experience on here. Thank you for being so cool that I wanted to join your group in the first place and thank you for being so great afterwards that I’m eternally happy I did.

It’s meant more to me than you could possibly know.

Keep the positivity.

- Jay

#blog stuff

272 notes · View notes

kinktae · 5 years ago

Note

kinktae? i think you meant the sweetest & loveliest person ever 🥺💞💓

Anonymous said: rose deserves all the love and more rt if you agree 🤠

(warning: oodles of precious and dear anons under the cut)

yooniversus said: i faqing luv u (hehe get it) 💕💕💕🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥺💕❤️💫💕💫💜💕💜💕💜💕💕💜💕💜💜💜💜 ok soddy i was just bored

Anonymous said: i dont usually interact with fic writers but ur work is out of this world!!!!! the way you write dialogue makes it seem casual and natural flowing like how you would talk to a friend :)) connecting to the main character has never been a challenge for me, but with your writing its like i am the character instead of just some reader. i hope that you never stop writing as long as it brings you joy, and that this message makes you smile (even just a lil' bit) luv u!!

worldclasscassy said: i am so geeked over ur writing 🥰🥺

Anonymous said: uwu punch me daddy

Anonymous said: ur deada$$ one of the best writers on here, i don’t make the rules sis 🙈

into1995 said: heelo! sending all my love! 🥰 you have such a beautiful soul, please take care! we are here for you always. 💕

dejayoon said: take your time lovey! you deserve a break💜

Anonymous said: imagine waking up every day knowing ur rose...PHEW!! wish i could be that lucky 😪😪

lovesic-eunoia said: hey, sweetie. i know your anxiety has been making you feel like crAP and i'm here to tell you that it really does get better❤️, there's always gonna things that make you wanna quit trying to get better, but don't give up. anxiety doesn't rule your life, you do. i wish you the best through all of the ups and downs. you're a precious piece of life. much love ❤️❤️

Anonymous said: I love you

Anonymous said: saw u on my dash and my heart went lub dub

Anonymous said: I hope you take some time to yourself and enjoy hiatus! We love you!

evilkookie said: Your health is way more important than anything!! I wish only good and positive things for you and you feel better, take as long as you need for your Hiatus 💝💝

Anonymous said: I dont know if I'm late but take care of yourself bby! Health always comes first and I hope you'll be enjoying your time outside of tumblr! Will miss you but love you so much bby! -Bunny

miss-peys said: Hope all is well! I myself had to take a step back from school because my mental health was terrible! Hope everything is going okay in your personal life! Can’t wait for you to come back to tumblr, but please come back when YOU feel ready not because others want you to come back! Sending positive vibes your way! Can’t wait for you come back💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: Rose my darling dearest I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and I hope you’re doing well 💜💫☁️

Anonymous said: hi jared ilu xoxoxo

Anonymous said: I love u and I hope ur taking care of yourself and staying hydrated!!

googie-kook said: How are you doing lovely? Miss you loads and hope you’re feeling better! Love from London! 🇬🇧 💓💓💓💓💓

Anonymous said: hi bby! im just coming in to tell you i love you! and you are loved!! and i hope youre taking good care of yourself and doing all those good things to keep yourself happy and healthy!! and im super excited for your spooky fic soon! sending you nothing but the best !!!❤❤❤

Anonymous said: i’m really happy that you’re taking a mental break from social media(tumblr). i had to do that a couple days ago and it really helps. anyways hope you get better and you take time to heal yourself. i love youuuuu🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Anonymous said: Ur meat is huge, keep going.

Anonymous said: how are you being doing rose? hope you're well

hyzzzan said: I'm glad you're still here 🥰💜

Anonymous said: You are so good and such a cute human bean oof (are we still saying ‘oof’?) it’s really frustrating cause I can’t make u feel the intensity with which I mean it. You are so so so so good, your stories just hit different. Like next level shit. Your characters, stories, yo skills I swear if only I was half as good as you are at writing maybe I would be able to make u feel the intensity of my feelings.. I hope writing these masterpieces brings you as much joy as reading them does to me💕💕

Anonymous said: Your stories are soooo good! I am in love with them.

Anonymous said: I MISSED YOU. seeing the "hiatus" taken off your blog just made me so happy. I hope you're good 🖤 happy Halloween 🦇

Anonymous said: I'm rereading all your fics and I keep falling in love with your writing. Thank you for quality content. Also, I hope you're doing good!

Anonymous said: Hi love! I'm so so sooooooo happy you're back! Hope you had a great break and noe you're feeling better. But take your time with writing, exams come first. I still can't wait to read your new stuff tho! (On a side note, we already talked in private but I'm still shy, sorry) ♥️♥️

Anonymous said: Hi omg are you back?? I missed you 🥺

Anonymous said: rose ur writing is insanely good and whenever im having a ton of anxiety i read ur writing to calm me down so tysm for being the best ever

lorengarcia-yut

said: You're BACK! I'm so happy you're back! I really hope you are feeling good and happy. Just wanted to send you a lil welcome back message with a little love

monohoed said: Hey, hope you been feeling better? I love everything you’ve written so far and just wanted to let you know! I’ve struggled w mental health myself and I empathise ♥️♥️

sydney--chan said: I fr think I might die when you post a fic again like no cap ive missed you and your writing so mUCH🥺🥺🥺

Anonymous said: so heyyy idk how to say it buttt ily~~ ★☆~

Anonymous said: hihi rose ilu sm and i hope ur doing well, pls take care of urself bb 🥺🥺💜

Anonymous said: .........you are like so beautiful

Anonymous said: HEY IM WUV U AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!! 💕💕 I love all your work and I hope the best for you!!!

Anonymous said: ummm ma’am??? you are so beautiful and I am so gay??????

Anonymous said: I followed you on twitter and you are pretty, funny, kind, and creative. Biggest friend crush uwu

Anonymous said: Omg you should be a model. You're so gorgeous, I'm jealous. If I ever met you in real life, my self-esteem will go down. But I love you too much girl 💕

mazeyoongi said: i haven't had much time or interest in reading fics lately because i am so busy between work & college, but every time you post a new story i HAVE to read it. no natter how busy i am or what is going on, i always read your new fics. they are ALWAYS so so so amazing and you manage to keep my interest from beginning to end no matter who or what it may be based on. thank you for giving us such wonderful work. you're amazing! 💓

Anonymous said: You're so pretty I- TAKE MY HEART PLIS I MIGHT JUST MAKE A TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR YOU 🥺🥺😩😩 -Bunny

Anonymous said: wtf the twitter video, jeezus you are freaking stunning

Anonymous said: you‘re so pretty lemme suck your dick, it‘s only fair

Anonymous said: low key your facial structure is like perfect?? i'm kinda jealous?? luv u b

charlie-hatsune said: JUST FOLLOWED YOUR TWITTER AND YOU'RE SUPER PRETTY!!!

dazedaurora said: okay but like how tf is everyone around here so pretty?! you're an absolute doll 💖

i-want-to-bite-your-head-off said: I haven't been on here in a WHILE but hi hope you're doing well and ily uwu

sapphireprinces5 said: Hello!! I just wanted you to know I really love all (and I mean ALL) of your stories. I really want to be a better reader for all of you amazing writers who share their art with us. With so many authors leaving, I really want to do my part better! So, you will definitely see more from me when you update!! Excited to see what you have in store for us ❤️

Anonymous said: Omg hi lovely!!! I just wanted to tell u that you are a precious human being and I hope u know that

ktgguk said: uwu I hope you had a lovely day, don’t forget to drink plenty of water 🧸💗 keep being amazing at what you do!!!

Anonymous said: You’re so consistent through your work and everything you write is a phenomenal masterpiece! I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how do you manage to always get such a high word count per chapter. That probably sounds so dumb and I’m sorry if this wastes your time.

Anonymous said: I LOVE U SO MUCH THANK U FOR ALL UR HARD WORK IN UR WRITING AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

justaregularcrazyfangirl said: So, hm... It's not an ask but i just read what you said about my little review and i just wanted to say that you managed to make me blush 😆 (urgh i'm not used to do this and it shows !) Anyways, i'm happy you found my review interesting 💜 I hope you have a nice day ~ "You nice, keep going" ! (And that's my cue to go and hide somewhere !)

Anonymous said: you're an amazing writer!!!

Anonymous said: pls rose u deserve ALL the love in this universe

Anonymous said: Ma’am!! We are your friends!!! That post was SO CUTE!!! Love U!! My heart is full of love and appreciation for your cute self

Anonymous said: I love you

Anonymous said: i love your stories for one, always have ever since I found you 🥺 you give me most of my inspiration to write and let my creativity flow but it’s so dang hard actually putting the words I want on the pAGE BENDK

Anonymous said: Do you ever read your own fics and be like "Damnnn I'm good"

Anonymous said: Oh are you sick 😥 Get well soon 💜

Anonymous said: Omg you speak French too?!! Is there anything you can’t do?!?! You’re such a smart girl 😭🤧💕

Anonymous said: I think you’re really cool and I wish I could be your friend. ❤️

Anonymous said: 💜💜💜 Hey love, idk if you've already deleted the app or it'll get barried in the inevitable avalanche of asks you're about to receive but I hope you can feel the love I'm sending your way nonetheless. You're my favorite writer and there's so question, i'll be here when you get back. Take as much time as you need and I'm very proud of you for taking the necessary steps to get better. That alone takes strength. I wish you the best of luck. -🌻

Anonymous said: Life is a pendulum between your fics and your ficsrec

Anonymous said: just wanted to slide in here to say i dont really like smutty stories, but damn yours be hittin different and im obsessed, so thank u for sharing ur work with us 🥰🥰

Anonymous said: hi! i’m a reader of your work and well, I completely understand where you’re coming from. exactly. 100%. so you take your time and love yourself like you know you deserve to. I support you!

bugznot said: whenever you decide to come back we’ll be ready with open arms. remember you are powerful but you can only take so much. breaks are necessary and important and i hope you are kind to yourself in this time

Anonymous said: Leaving this message for when you’ll come back: I hope you finally start to love yourself back, you take chances cause you believe in yourself and your abilities, you leap blindly because you have faith in yourself and you know where you stand. I hope you have learnt to love yourself, to demand more of others and you for yourself, because you are worth it. I hope you come back, rejuvenated and free of all those schemes that bring you down. Love you 💕

Anonymous said: Saw your most recent post and wanted to say that I hope you feel better soon. I understand how tough it is when it feels like you’re living a lie, but not to minimize your experience, I’m sure it’ll pass and you’ll feel more comfortable with yourself. We all love you here and are patiently awaiting your return. If you celebrate it, happy holidays! Hopefully it won’t be stressful for you and you get some time to relax! 💕

Anonymous said: take as much time as you need & don’t feel like you HAVE to write just because there are people waiting for updates. your real life & health always comes first but pls know that we’ll be here for you & only want the best for you. We’ll be patiently waiting for you & understand your struggles (or at least I do 🙃). pls keep your friends around you, stay in good surroundings with positive vibes & take care of yourself (& your dog aw). sending all the love to you!!!

peachishiz said: Hey Rose my love Dw u don’t gotta answer just popping in to say I love u so much and I hope ur doing good and stuff 🌸💕

Anonymous said: hi bby, i just wanted to say that i can’t truly say ik what you’re going through, bc every circumstance is different, but i really relate to you & what you’re going through. i teared up a bit bc i’ve had the similar thoughts & feelings (and i still do) but i think being open & vulnerable about it is the first step (& hardest) so i just wanna day i’m proud of you 🥺 i wish i let you know more how much i love and appreciate your fics, but i hope the time you take for yourself is healing 💜 Luv -⭐️

Anonymous said: Hope no matter where you go or what you'll do, you'll be happy with it. Lots of love and best of luck ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous said: dude honestly , taking that step to take care of yourself makes me extremely proud and i dont even know like that. When i first moved to Miami i think i felt similar to how you do , i held a lot of resentment for myself and the life i led and its a sentiment i dont wish on the worst of my enemies. Im sorry you feel that way , but you know you have the strength to pull yourself out of your slump , and that's quite the feat on its own. Good luck and i hope happiness finds you soon. - A.L.Á

Anonymous said: heeeeey, I hope you take lots of care during ur hiatus. Stay hydrated, eat some tasty food, make yourself a priority, reach out for help when you need to, and life is like a minecraft house, sometimes it gets burned down, sometimes it gets attacked but in the end you always have the opportunity to rebuild something new, that makes you happy and satisfied. u rock, u r wonderful and amazing, ily

Anonymous said: Hi! Just wanted to say that your writing is brilliant. It’s okay to be going through a tough time. I’m proud of you for recognizing that you need a break and taking one. The year is almost over: it’s the perfect time for a lifestyle change or a new beginning. Do what you need to do. We’ll still be here. Love you!

Anonymous said: You’re doing great sweetie! Keep going ♥️♥️

Anonymous said: im not sure if you still have the app or not or if you'll ever see this but i love you 💓 & i know idk you but to see you taking steps toward loving yourself is so beautiful ! im still on that journey myself 🤷🏽‍♀️ & it gets hard but you gave me some newfound energy just now. good luck !

Anonymous said: I am so proud of you. You’re so brave for accepting the fact that you are not okay, and doing something to turn that around. Now you’re walking the path towards betterment. I won’t wish for you to not fall back into that hole, but that when you do, I hope you come out faster and stronger every time. You made my life a thousand times better through your works, I hope through this hiatus, you’ll be able to do that for yourself. I am rooting for you ❤️

sydney--chan said: Hi babie🥺 please take all the time you need for yourself. I am proud of you for taking a step back and realizing you needed change. You are very strong and I cant wait for you to come back better than ever:)

Anonymous said: Ah, baby! Just the fact that you opened up and came with this decision shows that deep inside you care for yourself and you are also really brave. YOU ARE inspirational, your friends aren't lying. So many of us can't stop being stagnant and that's ok too. But you, you are doing so much and you are handling this better than you see it yourself. You are mature enough to see that things are wrong and that you deserve to heal. Everything that's wrong is going to pass. (1/?)

Anonymous said: And the cloudy days are going to be gone. I believe in you and I hope you believe in yourself as well. Treat yourself like you would treat one of the boys, for ex (I know it sounds silly but... lol). Imagine if they were feeling down and if they made mistakes. Wouldn't you forgive them? Make them see that it is ok? Wouldn't you want to cuddle and take care of them? Treat yourself like that, please. Treat yourself like you deserve to be taken care of, because you do. (2/?)

Anonymous said: Try to date yourself, you know. Take yourself on a date, buy you something nice when you can, try not to tell yourself things you wouldn't tell other person (cuz I know you are the kindest to people). And it is ok if somedays you can't handle things the best way, but you're just human and it is okay. Allow yourself to be imperfect. We are all trying hard in this life and we are all making mistakes. I am proud of you for trying. Keep trying to be better for yourself. You are precious and (3/4)

Anonymous said: I hope everything gets better for you as soon as possible. We are cheering you up, also while you're on hiatus. Come back whenever you feel like it and don't feel pressured to please others. YOU are the one who matters here and you're amazing af. We are going miss this bright star that you are but be patient with yourself and take your time. Please, seek a professional and take care of your health. You are lovely and loved. Everything goes, my love ♥♥♥♥ (4/4)

Anonymous said: I love you so damn much❤️

Anonymous said: I'm proud if you, I get that this was a hard decision to take, and you still did it. So, I'm proud of you. You finally understood that you are the n. priority, so please treat yourself like it. Even if you'll be gone for the whole year, I'm still super happy ti hear this. You deserve this, as you said yourself, you deserve the world. I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing good, but I know that you can make it better. Please, remember that you're not on your own: ask for help if you need it. Ily

lorengarcia-yut said: I just read your post and I just want let you know that we support you! Your health comes first, please take all the time you need. I feel for you, cause in a way I understand. Please take of your self! May God bless your life cause it’s gonna get better. Keep going, don’t ever give up, and please keep pushing. You deserve better than what you’re going through. Bless your heart ❤️

Anonymous said: 🌹 I don’t know if you will see this but I completely understand what you are going through. I have depression and social anxiety, and it’s so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning to go to school in a city where I don’t know anyone. I just want you to know that I will always support you and I hope that this time away will help to clear your mind of some negativity and bring you into a new year with hopefully brighter days 💜✨☀️

minigalixies said: i hope you come back feeling better, love ♡ so proud of you making the decision to put YOU first !! it’s a hard, but VERY important, decision that i hope benefits you sO MUCH !! i look forward to seeing your new posts when you feel better mentally + physically !! ♥️

Anonymous said: I hope this break provides you with everything you need. I hope life in general gets easier for you, you deserve it my love. Your mental health is way more important than providing us with content. Please take care of yourself, we'll be here for you if/when you decide to come back. I love you.

Anonymous said: hello im here to state a fact: your writing is perfect

moonchild-love-letter said: Hi, how are you? I hope you're okay. Actually, I hope you're better than okay, I hope you've been eating well, sleeping well, and spending your days chasing your bliss. Your writing is a piece of art, whenever I finish a chapter I always feel so happy and blessed to have found your blog. I hope that happiness returns to you ten folds. I hope your days are filled with love. Thank you for sharing your work. Thank you.

Anonymous said: BABY ROSE YOURE BACK!!!!! I’m ready to spend my 2020 supporting your 10/10 writing and you on your life journey. GONNA SMOTHER YOU WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE 🥰🥰

Anonymous said: i admire u so much for being confident enough to put ur mental health first. school causes me so much stress and anxiety and makes me slip back into my depression so fast. i look up to u so much. im glad ur doing what makes u happy. 🥺

Anonymous said: HAPPY NEW YEAR BBY 💙💙 YOU WERE LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW BLOGS I FOLLOWED AND YOU GOT ME INT HE FEELS SO MANY TIMES AND YOUR THEMES ARE AMAZING AND YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU YOU SMOL BBY -Bunny

tinievmin said: Okay so you’re my internet older sister now!!! Wow this is so cute 🥺🥺 Take care of your health, eat well, drink water, sleep, and be kind to yourself this year!!! Sending u love!!

Anonymous said: U ARE A BABY 😩😩😩😩😩😩

Anonymous said: WT FFFFFFF ROSE HAPPY NEW YEAR 🌟 u are backkkkk i miss u little bby 🤧💕

Anonymous said: While they say that army’s are toxic, i think I’ve never found so many people sharing one common interest with such an awareness and consciousness about complex concepts like loving yourself. I like to think that BTS deconstructed the cliché of “love yourself” into something more complex and difficult that u would pursue in life bravely, even through struggles, and not just a quote u find on aesthetic pillows. And I think you’re doing just that too with your stories and your journey. thank you💕

Anonymous said: hello! i'm a returning bts writer and so glad to see find you on here still!! i remember reading one of your earliest fics i love you

Anonymous said: You’re so talented!!

Anonymous said: hello miss rose how are you today? I thought id just come over to say hi and i love you so much you beautiful human being. I hope you and your little fur babies are doing well!💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: hey, idk if you'll even see this, but i just wanted to say i'm in love with all of your fics. i don't even have a tumblr account, i just come to your page from google to read your stuff and see if you're doing well😳 i could say more but that robot verification keeps running out, so hope 2020 treats you well and you're an amazing writer!

pocketfullofsuga said: hey I checked who im following and it said you are one of my favorite tumblrs I mean they aint wrong though bby

Anonymous said: JUST WANTED TO SAY ILYILYILY AND I HOPE THAT THE NEW DECADE IS TREATING YOU WELL EVEN THO WE ONLY FOUR DAYS IN. ILY, STAY HEALTHY, LOVE YOURSELF. k bye 🥺🤍🕊🥰

#so #I just really really want to take the moment and apologize for not responding to so many asks #this year #as u can tell by reading this past #had been kind of a whirlwind #and im so so grateful and humbled rereading all these asks #u guys really are my friends #above all #and im so just brimming with love #genuine love and appreciate for you all #thank u #I love u guys #Anonymous

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hazbinhoteltheories · 6 years ago

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Theory: Note; I have not read Zoophobia as I’m sending this: There was a recent drawing that Viv made of Angel interacting with Marx back in 2015 in his current design, do you think this could be evidence that the Dragon brothers(or at least some of them)could be on the show? Also, what do you think their purpose to the show’s story will be based on what we know about them and their own respective backstories?

Ok, I have taken way too long to answer these asks. This was sent to me at the start of my hiatus, so months before Inside of Every Demon There’s a Rainbow, but in this clip, we see two of the dragon brothers.

Here’s Marx;

And here’s Hatchet;

However, as far as I’m aware, it has not been confirmed yet if they are now actual characters in Hazbin Hotel or if they are just cameos. I think the images of Marx and Angel together could be evidence on them being the former, as I think there is more than one piece of artwork with the two of them together, but I’m kind of split on whether I think Fitch and his brothers have fully transitioned from Zoophobia to Hazbin Hotel or not.

The reason I have as to why they might not be Hazbin hotel characters is because there’s already a huge number of characters to develop for what’s meant to be a short series without adding four more. The misfits alone make up nine characters and then there are the antagonists, Cherry Bomb, Charlie’s family, the other family in the portraits Charlie’s has and possibly Angel’s family to contend with too. Zoophobia had a ton of characters in it but that was supposed to be a huge story, spreading over at least ten arches. Vivzie stated herself that she wants to keep Hazbin Hotel relatively short despite having many ideas that could extend it. If you put too many characters in a short series, some of them might be overlooked and end up underdeveloped. I’m sure Vivzie knows this, that’s why her first project was intended to be this huge, epic saga set in it’s own world. This way she could give herself the freedom she would need to let herself go crazy and have fun creating as many characters as she could come up with to fil it.

Since Hazbin is meant to be a much shorter series and there are already quite a few characters in it, that indicates to me that the cast of Hazbin hotel is at full capacity and Vivzie will not be adding any more characters to its story. Therefore, the appearances of Marx and Hatchet were meant to be fun cameos and nothing more. However, there is the possibility that Vivzie decided to make the series longer than she first intended and if so, then Fitch could still be part of the story. With Sir Pentious and Katie Killjoy being the villains of the first season and Fitch being a villain in the next. Which bring me onto my reasons as to why I think Fitch and his brothers could now be part of Hazbin Hotel’s universe;

Characters have made the transition from Zoophobia to Hazbin Hotel before. In fact, Hazbin Hotel’s three main characters, Charlie, Vaggie and Angel Dust were all originally going to be in a Zoophobia arc called Angels and Demons. From what I’ve seen of the artwork and a small comic made a few years back, Fitch was also in this arc and was going to be the secondary antagonist, working under the main antagonist, Adina. If the three main protagonists have gone from being in this arc to their own series, then I don’t see why Fitch wouldn’t have made the same transition. For all I know, the whole Angels and Demons arc might have been scrapped from Zoophobia entirely in favour of it being remade into Hazbin Hotel. If that is what has happened, then Fitch would have undoubtedly been recycled into Hazbin Hotel’s story as well. With his story, his enemies and his nemesis gone from Zoophobia, what purpose would Fitch have left in that story? I don’t see why Vivzie would keep a character in a story if she removed everything they were a part of. Admittedly, I barely know anything about the other dragon brothers and nothing at all about their backstories but I think it’s clear all four brothers were written as characters first, individuals second and brothers last. They are all very different from each other and coming up with some idea of what their roles could be in Hazbin is difficult, because I don’t really know what their roles in Zoophobia were supposed to be to begin with.

It’s been over two years since I read Zoophobia, so my memory is sketchy but I think only one dragon brother appeared in it and that was Malcom. I think he was a member of the academy’s staff but what he did or what he taught, if he was one of the teaches at all, I don’t know. Vivzie decided to postpone then reboot the comic after five chapters and the other dragon brothers didn’t get to make an appearance, so I’m completely in the dark about what they were supposed to do in the series, but vivzie did make a little comic about Fitch’s relationships with all his brothers and from that, I can make some vague guesses on what they were going to be and what they will be if they are now characters in Hazbin Hotel. I’ll share it with you now;

This comic reveals that Fitch is very distant from his family and isn’t close to his brothers at all, except for Hatchet. I’ve never actually seen any of the dragon brothers together in any piece of artwork Vivzie has done, expect for in a sketch that I’m not even sure was done by her, so I don’t think it’s just Fitch whose distant. I think they are all estranged from each other in various degrees and live there lives completely separate from one another.

For this reason, I think the dragon brothers were originally going to be part of separate story lines, with their own roles in their own arches, and with little to no connection to each other. That’s what makes figuring out what their roles would be in Hazbin Hotel so difficult.

Fitch is by far the easiest. He was a villain in Zoophobia so he’ll undoubtedly be a villain in hazbin hotel. Plain and simple.

Hatchet, I think will end up working along side Fitch. I think this was supposed to be his role in Zoophobia, since they do have the closest bond, or the closest thing to a bond that we’ve seen out of the four brothers. But I don’t think he’ll be a straight up villain like Fitch. He’s always seemed more like a chaotic neutral to me. He’s wild and crazy but he has a loving side too, as shown through his girlfriend, Eve. I think he’ll help Fitch out simply because he’s his favourite brother, but he’ll try to stop Fitch if he tries to something he morally disagrees with.

Marx, I honestly don’t know actually. He definitely wouldn’t side with Fitch because they didn't even speak to each other in Zoophobia, but I can’t imagine him being actively involved in Charlie’s campaign either. Perhaps, he’ll give Charlie information on how to defeat Fitch. Because, although they are about as estranged as a pair of siblings can get, Fitch is still Marx’s brother and therefore, Marx might know him well enough to know some of his weaknesses.

As for Malcom, I can only imagine one role for him in Hazbin Hotel and that is being a patient at the Happy Hotel. I have no idea why Malcom would end up in hell in the first place because, in Zoophobia he seemed to be a generally nice person but of all the dragon brothers, Malcom would be the one who would want to redeem himself. Perhaps that would be what ultimately stops Fitch from attacking the hotel. I think Fitch will either be an angel or a fallen angel in the story and his reasoning to try and stop Charlie from redeeming demons is because he believes there is no real way to truly redeem demons and letting them in to heaven would only spell disaster for all involved. I think he would get close to destroying the hotel only to see his brother there, as a patient and genially trying to become a better person. Hopeful that one day, he can make it into heaven, perhaps to join his brother. Perhaps that could be the one thing that changes his mind entirely and leads to him deciding to let the hotel exist and become more open to the idea of redemption.

If the dragon brothers are in Hazbin Hotel. That brings up all sorts of questions. Like where is Marx’s adopted son, Gustav? Is he in Hazbin Hotel now? Or Zoophobia? If he’s in Hazbin, is he in hell, in heaven or alive? If he’s still in Zoophobia, who are his parents now? Hatchet had a girlfriend, where is she now? Is she still a character or has she been deleted? Who has Malcolm's job if he did work for the academy? Who’s going to fill the role he had in Zoophobia if he’s transitioned over to Hazbin? Whose going to fill Marx’s role if he’s in Hazbin Hotel too? How did Malcolm end up in hell? How did any of them end up in hell? Are they all in hell? Are half of them in hell and the other in heaven?

These are just some of the questions that came to mind at the thought of four established characters being removed from a series and placed in an other and the only person who can answer any of them is Vivzie. I’m sure that if this decision has been made, then she will have answers for all of these questions and more but it’ll take a while for her to address them in her stories. As neither the stories of Hazbin Hotel or Zoophobia are ready to be told yet. I’m looking forward to seeing once and for all if these Zoophobia characters are now Hazbin hotel characters and I’m looking forward to having these questions answered but for now, we’ll just have to wait and see.

#hazbin hotel #fan theory #anon submit #zoophobia #fitch #marx #hatchet #malcom

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bensonstablers · 5 years ago

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what makes me sad with GG fandom is that even when the official Twitter account asked about fans' theories about Season 3, showing obviously that they do wanna listen to people - no matter what happened in that finale-, some "fans" are still being passive-aggressive about it. I think it's good they do wanna listen and I do hope they take what ppl say in consideration since they did the same with brio. But the amount of hate I saw yesterday even after that panel is ridiculous.

So, I’ve been trying to figure out how to answer this so bear with me dfghj it gets long (but when do my answers not) so apologies. I’ve put it under the cut just so I don’t bother anyone :’)

Firstly, I am sorry the whole thing makes you feel sad, anon! I’ve actually been avoiding it all as much as possible to be honest so I haven’t really seen half of what’s been going on. The second I do I normally click away so I don’t have to deal with it. But I hate confrontation and fandom dramas and all of that and it’s ruined things for me in the past so I absolutely get feeling sad when things are tense or negative within a fandom space.

I haven’t really seen many tweets in response to the Good Girls account asking for theories so I’m not entirely sure what was said so my response might sound kind of general and I don’t know if it’ll apply directly to that specific situation dfghj

I do know a lot of people have had some pretty strong opinions (both positive and negative). When the finale first aired I did notice a lot of arguing over differences of opinion but I was actually incredibly lucky and anyone who didn’t like my opinion or felt like they didn’t enjoy/like me or my content being on their dash/timeline anymore, they simply unfollowed me.

(Quick side note: I absolutely encourage you to unfollow me if you’re considering it! I always do my best to be as nice as possible and considerate (please tell me if I’m ever not, I’m always trying to better myself!) and I would like to think that people wouldn’t jump to conclusions about me based on my feelings towards a tv show. That being said, I get wanting your online experience to be happy and safe for you so if my content isn’t doing that for you then absolutely unfollow me

But yeah, basically I actually avoid confrontations most often than not. At the end of the day, feel however you want to and express it in whatever way works for you. I personally don’t understand continuously hating on something, it just seems tiring and emotionally/mentally draining to me. Being critical is another thing altogether mind. It’s good to talk about what a show (or whatever) has done bad and how it could have been done better (hell, I’ve written a couple of posts like that myself).

But yeah, regardless of whether you’re being constructive or simply hating on something/being negative, you do you, but I will definitely never understand being rude and mean, especially to the point that’s it’s vile and borderline harassment. Those types of posts and messages are the ones I could never get behind. It completely undermines any point you’re trying to make, y’know? Luckily those particularly nasty people are small enough in number. I’m not sure if there have been any responses like that to the theory tweet that the Good Girls account put out (hopefully, not) but you are right it is a good sign that they’re interested in what fans have to say and it could be a really good way to try and get your criticism heard.

However, I just want to point out to anyone reading that the official Good Girls account on twitter, instagram, facebook, etc as far as I’m aware is not run by the writers nor does it have anything to do with them (at least not directly anyway). It’s all the marketing department (I’m pretty sure that’s the right department dfghj). I’m sure them asking is about keeping fan engagement up during the hiatus and therefore keeping people interested in the upcoming season even when there’s no new content. However, it is still good that they’re interested in fan opinions of what might happen in season 3 because no doubt the writers (or Jenna Bans at least as showrunner) will see all of the tweets in one convenient place :) And I’m sure the different departments/people cross paths and talk and whatnot so the social media feedback will always be helpful to some extent!

#danielle answers #nbc good girls #does this make sense?#anon #i'm personally just tired #and i hate fighting #and i don't like to surround myself with negativity #and as i said people just unfollow me or they're lovely to me fghj #surprisingly enough i don't really attract any of the negative stuff #and i avoid it elsewhere

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sickofyouandyourcormanobullshit · 6 years ago

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It’s Time

I’ve been debating with myself this question: If it were me, and one of my favorite blogs just stopped updating for no reason, would I prefer they make a whole giant post about why they’ve left or just have them fade off into the night? I still don’t really know what the right answer for that is, but I figured that, y’know, it is about time I put the final nail in the coffin and closure is nice, actually.

So, yes. I’ve decided to put this blog on indefinite hiatus.

No, I am not deleting this blog or the YouTube channel. Ever. No matter what happens, just the existence of this blog is very important to me. Even when it stops being posted to, just having the archive there for everyone to have is a fandom necessity. In fact, I’m still looking for websites to back up this blog in case Tumblr goes t*ts up (making sure there isn’t any female presenting nipples, of course).

But, this has been a long time coming, I feel. And for that, I’m sorry. I’ve tried everything I could to keep this going for as long as I possibly could, but there’s just nothing left in me now that wants to keep this blog active.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all. I’ve been at this since 2014 (Fucking! FIVE years!) and my time here could not have been better. You all treated me with so much kindness and respect, putting your upmost faith in me to archive and update as efficiently as possible. When I started, I couldn’t have ever predicted this blog becoming a fandom staple, that it would eventually become the backbone of a community that desperately needed a platform and a voice for their hobbies. I know that when I look back at these times, I’ll always feel happiness that I had the chance to give people this opportunity at all.

If you’re interested to know the nitty gritty about why I came to this decision, it’ll be below the cut. It’ll be a bit (a lot) more negative than what’s been said until now, so if you just want to end this on a happy note, than I’ll be happy to see you off. Goodbye!

Okay, so. I’ve got a couple major reasons why this has come to be.

1.) My personal life is in shambles. For those who may be reading this that were/are active on the Discord server, you may have noticed that I’ve also straight up disappeared from there as well. This is because a lot (A loooooot) of things have gone awry in my life and they’re kinda tw worthy so I won’t divulge too much detail in this regard! Just know that life as an adult is hard as heck and I’ve kinda run short on time to be able to handle the amount of responsibility that this blog/channel requires! I’m an adult in college that only has spare time to look at Twitter fleetingly and then go back to looking at internships and build my social media presence as a professional! All I have time for is work, work, and more work! Ah! (Also I generally have just come to really feel anxious when it comes to even opening Discord/Tumblr so I’ve just gone to avoiding them all together. I couldn’t feel more shitty about this development than I already do).

2.) I’ve lost interest in this fandom. This one is so hard to admit because I’ve kinda been denying it for a reeeeal long time, but, uh, yeah. I’m someone who’s in a fandom for the long haul. There are fandoms that I’m in that I’ve been a part of for over 10 years, with content being minimal. So, this absolutely has nothing to do with the inactivity really, because I was honestly real content with just having my bubble of Discord friends and have that be my fandom experience. It’s just, uh....

3.) I really hate PewDiePie. I really, really, do. I absolutely detest everything that this man has become, what he stands for, and the fanbase he has accumulated. I know he’s on the internet’s general good side right now so this could cause a bit of flak to come my way, but god damn. He was the first YouTuber that I ever truly fell in love with when I first watched his Facade videos back in 2012. Today, in 2019, I unsubscribed from his channel. (Yeah, I know, big whoop. First world problems. Cry me a river liberal). But, generally, I’ve become really frustrated with him and his viewpoints. I hated that, just because I had an attachment to him and what his channel has done for me over the years, I was able to give excuses for all the bullshit he’s done. If it were literally anyone else, I would have never given them so many free passes. At some point, I just asked myself if it was worth it to keep being so hypocritical to the values I hold in such high regard and keep myself watching his content even though it deeply infuriated me, just for the nostalgia and good times that he provided me once upon a time. It sounds so unnecessarily dramatic when he’s just a YouTuber who I don’t know personally, but this essentially boils down to “Okay, I don’t have time to keep putting up with this constant source of negativity in my life, when I could so easily just cut it off and spend time doing something that is more valuable to me”. So, yup. That’s where I’m at with that. I’m basically turning away from all PewDiePie related content. Y’all can keep watching him though, but don’t think I don’t side eye you when you’re a leftist who gets mad at other content creators but keeps turning a blind eye to Mr. Felix.

That said...

I love Cry. I still love Cry. I feel like I will always love Cry. I will support him as best I can because he is so deserving of all love in this world. I don’t know anyone who is as self-sacrificing and generous as he is, so this is your reminder to catch up on his content if you’ve been kind of putting it off lately lol.

Of course, all of this is subject to change. These problems are all so temporary: Maybe, one day, in three thousand years time, I’ve got so much free time I don’t know what to do with it, PDC fandom starts thriving, and PewDiePie stops being a piece of shit. That’s why I hesitate to claim this blog is Dead 4ever. There might come a time where I come back! So, indefinite hiatus it is.

And, really, that’s all I have to say for now. Send me an ask, tell me I suck for being an SJW or whatever, or we can cry together. I don’t know. I won’t be back on Discord anymore, though.

Goodbye!

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drunklander · 6 years ago

Text

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 401

Oh hey, y’all. We’re back for another season of that show we keep watching in hopes it’ll get back to its season one glory Outlander! Since I’m incapable of keeping my Opinions to myself and have no filter after a few drinks, I’m gonna do drunk recaps that no one asked for or wants again this year. Because why not. So buckle up, randos, because under the cut you will find nothing of substance, zero insights and absolutely no analysis!

Before I dive into the stream of consciousness, quasi-incoherent beat-by-beat nonsense, I just want to say that I overall liked this episode. I definitely enjoyed it more from the comfort of my own couch than in the theater with thousands of screaming sycophants at NYCC. It definitely had me singing along to the Federalist Papers part of Non Stop all day though. A series of scenes, tangentially related, introducing the Colonies to the public. Some are obviously just there to just set up the plot of the season or like check a residual box from last season. But some are solid world-building and character moments. And, because it’s Outlander, some are like *side eye*.

But I’m for real excited for the first half of this season! The second half of Drums is a dumpster fire (fucking Rogergate...) and it seems like the show is going to stick pretty close to the book, so I’m going to try my hardest to not let preemptive feelings about that nonsense cloud potential enjoyment of the first bit. Because dammit, I love me some domestic!Frasers. So yeah, happy end of hiatus, y’all!

Ok I don’t want to start off on a downer note, but jfc. I get what they were going for with the 2000 B.C. stone circle stuff, but omg no. I don’t care if certain indigenous peoples really did make stone circles and dance around them as the sun rose. I know they’re trying to show the universality of circles and these time portal thingies or whatever, but by making the parallel with the druids at Craigh na Dun, it’s basically being like “Oh hey! These Native American folks from *checks notes* North America are just like the white folks we’ve been hanging with for the last three seasons!” It came off to me like erasing the unique cultures of the diverse peoples of North America in favor of framing them as a generic group of “natives” who do the white people stone dance. And in a season that’s going to deal heavily with multiple tribes, this really isn’t giving me much confidence in how they’re going to handle the rest of the Native American characters.

I’m really hoping someone else will articulate that better than I did. Because I feel like I’m not communicating well what my actual issue with the sequence was.

Petition to make Jamie wear a hat at all times to hide his horrible bangs.

Gavin Hayes has to be being hanged for literally the dumbest crime ever. But he seems pretty chill about it so...

Ok I never liked book!Bonnet as a character (like obvi he’s a terrible person so I was never going to like him as a person, but I was always annoyed that he was still around rather than appreciating him as a villain), but even from that presumptuous “yeah can I snag some rum too, bruh” in the jail, I’m like solidly on board with show!Bonnet.

Jamie tried to save Hayes, but you see Hayes straight up killed a guy. Sure it was in self-defense, but, y’know, ye olde times and he did kill the dude. Sooo...

I want to feel for Lesley, I really do, but I’ve never actually given a shit or been given a good reason to give a shit about Rupert and Angus 3.0 so, sorry for your loss?

Unpopular opinion alert (should be the standard disclaimer on all of my #hottakes) but I really don’t care for the new theme music. Every time they change it, I find myself wanting the OG season one music back with just the images updated.

The bald eagle for the title card just gives me such mixed feelings that have nothing to do with the show. Like here’s a symbol of my country and it *should* invoke good feelings, but *gestures at the current political climate* every national symbol at the moment feels tainted by the growing white nationalist movement that’s being spurred on by the current administration.

Time for some post hanging brewskis. We are here to mourn Gavin Hayes. Who died only so the new villain could be introduced. Let us bow our heads.

Marsali and Fergus win the prize for least subtle “can we be excused to go bang” ever. Rock on, Fersali.

I fucking LOVE that they changed the tavern scene so everyone sings with them like they know what’s going on rather than how in the book it was like them making fun of the red coats as part of Gavin’s song and then Fergus passed around a hat for coins. But by having everyone in the tavern in on what’s going down and earnestly participating, it establishes that 20+ years after the failed Rising, after the Clearances, after everything the Scots went through at the hands of the English, they were not truly defeated. They may have moved across an ocean, but they are still Scottish and they still practice their traditions and dammit I’m having feelings about those resilient motherfuckers.

The scene with Jamie and Ian is very well done and I’m SO glad they included it because they did in fact include his rape last year, but fuck the show for including that rape in the first place. A very similar version of this scene could have been done without the rape, there’s enough trauma involved in being kidnapped, taken across the ocean, held hostage by a batshit lady and knowing that everyone else she kidnapped ended up dead for one 16 year old kid. With Jamie’s rape we got two episodes of trauma and four of recovery. With Mary, Fergus and Ian, we get three child rapes that could have all been avoided (especially Ian’s, but the plot points that come from Mary’s and Fergus’ could have definitely come about without them actually being raped), and they all just got one brief scene to express their trauma and then everything’s hunky dory again. (We know they’re going to include Bree’s rape, also fuck them very much for that, it’s completely unnecessary, and I’m guessing we’ll spend some time with her on her recovery. But that’s a rant for when we get there...)

For real though, Jamie parroting Claire as he comforts Ian is super sweet, but it makes me skeptically nervous for how he’ll react to Bree’s. Since in the book, it’s...not great.

Stephen Bonnet is so delightfully smarmy. Also, how fucking naive is our main squad now all of a sudden that they don’t realize from the jump what a sociopath he is? C’mon, y’all. Like I know Jamie came close to being hanged or whatever, but literally everything about this dude screams that he’s bad news. He is not subtle in his I’m a straight up unapologetic and charismatic good guy criminal. And like, he’s a friend of Gavin? Come the fuck on, squad. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THAT HE IS FULL OF SHIT. *gets Det. JJ Bittenbinder on the horn*

For real though, dodgy accent aside, I fucking love Ed Speleers in this role. Why the fuck do they have to include the rape. Can’t he just be a bastard without being a rapist? Why must you make me rage, show. I just want to enjoy a decent villain.

Jamie and Claire are doing their best Jean Ralphio and Mona Lisa Saperstein trying to talk their way through this checkpoint.

“You’ve never parted with the ring from the first?” Yeah, I don’t get it either, Bonnet my dude. I don’t get it either. #FuckFrank

Bonnet talking about circles fascinating him makes me think he’d do well in a group of stoners having what they think are philosophical conversations at 3:00 a.m. “But like guys, have you ever like thought about...the rhombus?”

For real though, him being real with Claire about this drowning stuff makes him an infinitely more interesting villain than Black Jack ever was. Black Jack was kind of a crap villain tbh. He was horrible and did horrible things, yes, but like that was it. He was just horrible. Bonnet’s like oh I’ll charm you, be real with you and then fuck you up in the course of one episode and not give any of it a second thought because I have not a single fuck to give about anyone but me. I’m just out here living my best life, sorry not sorry. *puts on shades, drops mic, walks away*

For real though, his “be wary of thieves and outlaws” line might as well have been “it’s me, I’m talking about me.” And these dorks don’t even pick up on it. GUYS YOU ARE KILLING ME, YOU DIDN’T USED TO BE THIS SHITTY AT JUDGING SOMEONE’S CHARACTER.

I’m guessing this is the official christening-their-new-continent-bang because it’s too cold to do River Sex™ in Scotland. But I’m looking forward to getting the rest of Ch. 16 once they get to the Ridge. (We all saw those strawberries in the promo...)

The book lines still feel shoehorned in rather than organic to the show, but not as much as 95% of A. Malcolm felt. So I guess I need to just accept that the writers are going to keep doing this and I just need to stop expecting them to actually do their jobs and adapt for the adaptation...

For real though, I know Spotify doesn’t exist yet but jfc Jamie and Claire’s secksi time playlist literally just has this one song and guys, there’s a whole world of songs for smushing out there. My man Doug Judy would be glad to broaden your horizons.

Claire’s I just had sex smile as she looks out over the valley made me literalol.

Cool that we get woke!Jamie saying that the American Dream is a nightmare for the Native Americans after Claire’s Americana 101 speech, but this is a woman who lived in wicked racist 1960s Boston. She knows that things aren’t nice and rosy in America in the 18th *or* 20th centuries. Her speech makes me hate S3 a little more for focusing on Frank’s manpain instead of Claire and her and Joe’s time in the hospital, where the show could have explored gender and race in the 20th century to set up a contrast for how things will be this season in the 18th. Claire went through enough shit last time she was in the past, and so far this time, to know that the past isn’t idyllic. She knows enough about US history and 20th century America to know this mythical origin story she’s spouting is nothing but a fairy tale. I get why she might cling to that ideal, this is the first time in her life she might get to settle down and build a home with the person she actually wants to build a home with, but her whitewashing history like this strikes me as a way too naive for her.

The green screen as they stare out at that very much not actually there valley is killinggg me.

Ok for real though, this cut from them in the Uncanny Valley to the room getting ready for dinner is the most jarring of the episode. Like, I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is just a series of independent scenes rather than an actual, cohesive whole, but jfc. Who actually is Lillington, how do you know him? Nope? No info? Not important? Just need to get it out there that you have jewels so the last scene in the episode can happen so the ring can be taken so the rape can occur? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Ok so show!Claire makes me sad with being insecure/self-depreciating about her appearance. Like with saying brown is a dull color when Jamie calls her mo nighean donn the first time and when she asks Joe if she’s sexually attractive and when she dyes her hair before going back through the stones and now with the mutton dressed as lamb thing. (Claire, girl, how are you that up on Colonial fashion that you know what’s “age appropriate” already? Wouldn’t think there was much fashion gossip along the road from Georgia to North Carolina, but whatevs.) I know three of these four things are straight from the book, but in the show it hits me differently. Book!Claire is kind of a bitch when it comes to looks. Her parting words in her letter to Bree were “try not to get fat.” She like judged the crap out of that rando lady in Edinburgh before she went to the print shop just to make sure she didn’t look too old. So when she has these aforementioned moments, they land differently. Now I’m not saying I want show!Claire to be like book!Claire, quite the opposite. I’m glad they cut that other stuff. But now whenever show!Claire has a moment of self-consciousness, all I want to do is be like woman, you are a fucking smokeshow. Fuck the patriarchy for making you feel like you aren’t stunning exactly as you are. #LadyBonerForBeauchamp

Oh Governor Exposition. How nice of you to join our merry band of randos for dinner!

Man, I’d love to be so rich that I can pull a Baron and casually just happen to have 100 pounds on hand to buy a giant ruby at a random dinner party.

John Grey, who was shunted from shit post to shit post, totes is special enough to get Scotland’s Valjean to England’s Javert cleared. I mean, obvi.

Oh hey, Jamie remembers he has a daughter! Showed more emotion in that scene about how America would become her country than in the scene with the photos. Fuck Sam et al. for the disaster of a performance choice in ep. 306, don’t @ me.

OH HAI ROLLO I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD DOGGO I WANT TO SNUGGLE YOU WHO’S A GOOD BOY YOU ARE

“I dinna ken. But she’ll be saying it in Scotland, won’t she?” I do love Young Ian a lot. I know that’s in the book. But dammit I love John Bell in this part a crapton.

Casually lol’ing that they crossed the ocean because Ian was taken and now that they have him, they’re just going to send him alone off to sea again.

The first time I saw the episode, when Lesley gave his “my place is at your side” speech I was like crap, we’re going to be stuck with this guy aren’t we. BUT WE’RE NOT! (I am a terrible person.)

Fergus and Marsali are totes going to be the new Jenny and Ian, aren’t they? The characters who just show up once or twice a season when the core squad needs something and that’s it? Because they get tossed aside in the books like that. That makes me super sad (and I hope I’m wrong) because of how they changed show!Fergus and show!Claire’s relationship from the book that we won’t get to see more of them together. Le sigh. I hope they at least let Bree have a scene where she meets Fergus and learns she has a brother. Especially if she’s not going to go to Lallybroch to meet the Murray squad because Jenny isn’t in this season. Part of what I loved about the Lallybroch part in the book was Bree realizing that she wasn’t just gaining a father but a whole extended family. I hope they kind of transfer that over to her meeting Fergus and Young Ian in the place of [insert Murray kids who let’s be honest we really don’t care about here].

Hey remember that time Jamie was wicked opposed to Fergus and Marsali getting married for literally no reason? That was fun. But yay for Germain!

Holy motherfucking green screen, Batman. Please can we get to the woods soon? Or some other location where it’s not this fucking jarring?

Claire America-is-the-land-of-milk-and-honey Fraser suddenly is overly-on-the-nose indignant about slavery. Cool. Cool cool cool. Again, you know what would have been cool? Seeing her with her best and only friend in the 1960s more last season because he was a Black man. If they had let Joe be a fully formed character, navigating racist af Boston as a doctor, rather than just being Claire’s sounding board and martini maker, we could have seen how Claire being exposed to his reality shaped her views on race in America. But nope, that would have taken air time away from Frank’s manpain. (Seriously, my recent re-watch only highlighted just how much they screwed over Claire’s character last season.)

I’ve always loved that Jamie gives Claire the medical box. It’s just such a simple way to demonstrate that he *gets* Claire. (*side-eyes a certain other husband who patently did not*)

Jamie’s bangs are an affront to anyone with hair. Someone please give that man his hat back!

“This ring is all I need.” Aaand that’s when we all knew that Jamie’s ring would be the one stolen.

“Not for a single day.” Uh, *casually points at the episode in season three when she retcons her entire life in Boston to be not as bad as it was because Jamie’s been such an asshat to her*.

Ok. Holy shit this final scene. I love everything about this final scene. Except the song. This show is not subtle. It’s never been subtle. But holy shit, playing the iconic Ray Charles version of America the Beautiful at the end of an episode called America the Beautiful to be like welcome to ‘Murrica, fuckos, is like even less subtle than they usually go. I 1000% LOVE the choice to cut the audio from the end of the fight scene and just have the visuals, it just would have worked much better if they’d scored with with a regular instrumental piece.

Gah, Bonnet is such a smarmy motherfucker! The nose wipe before he coldcocks Jamie is just perf.

Claire’s face in this entire scene, holy fucking shit. *throws all the awards at Balfe*

And then Lesley dies and I’m a terrible person because I’m happy we don’t need to be stuck with him all season. But holy shit Bonnet when he pauses right before he cuts his throat and then kills him, I love show!Bonnet so much more than I ever gave a shit about book!Bonnet.

And honestly, Claire’s face when he’s killed right in front of her. *throws more awards at Balfe*

GUYS I FEEL MORE EMOTION ABOUT CLAIRE TAKING OFF JAMIE’S RING THAN I DID ABOUT CLAIRE LEAVING BREE BEHIND TO GO BACK THROUGH THE STONES HOW IS BALFE SO GOOD AT MAKING ME FEEL FEELINGS

I’m so fucking glad they changed which ring gets taken. There was an interview where they were like “oh we did it because it has to be visually distinct so Bree can get raped!” and I’m like a) fuck you for including that and b) right decision, wrong reason. This is the right reason for the change.

But even as I say that they made the right call in which ring to have stolen, it’s still a fact that they fucking chose to have one stolen at all. The writers and production team decided that Brianna needed to be raped so a ring must be stolen. Because Diana never wrote a character she didn’t want raped and the Outlander producers never read a rape scene they didn’t want to include. Fuck them all very much for that.

Fuck Them Very Much for That, the title of my memoir.

Oh god her face right at the end when she sees that it’s fucking Fred’s ring she’s left with and not Jamie’s fucking murders me.

*THROWS AN ENTIRE TROPHY STORE AT BALFE*

#*#drunj!der yells about outlander #outlander starz #outlander 4x01

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paintedface · 6 years ago

Text

our youth

summary: you’ve just graduated from high school, but what happens to your relationship with your boyfriend, bucky, after this?

pairing: bucky x reader

word count: 1301 words

warnings: a literal fairytale relationship

notes: this is a very belated happy birthday and graduation to my best friend @buckyofthemyscira , I love you so goddamn much. ‘tis why I made this so damn fluffy. also I’m tryna stock up on fics to post during my hiatus so if I don’t post any soon, then they’ll probably come in a few weeks. also can you tell I have no idea how american schools work?

alsO who would want me to write a series of fics for pride month??

Permanent Tags are OPEN | masterlist

You can barely contain your smile as you step off the stage, your robes dragging a little behind you. You’ve suffered and triumphed through many years of this, and now you’re finally done.

Your smile falters a little at the thought of leaving all those memories behind you, all your friends, but you’ve got a whole new chapter in front of you. You hold your diploma closer, before heading back to your seat, engulfed by your family’s tight hugs.

It seems like hours later till you’ve finished taking photos with all your friends, and you’re just glad that you wore waterproof makeup, because your eyes are definitely not dry by the end of it all. The graduation party isn’t until tomorrow, but you don’t want your mascara to stain until you look like your eye-bags have grown to your chin.

The crowd is rapidly dispersing, and you look around, biting your lip harshly when you can’t catch sight of the person you haven’t gotten to talk to yet. One of your favourite people in the w-

“Hey, sweetheart.” A low voice says, right behind you.

You squeak, startled, whipping around to the owner of the voice. But your shock quickly wears out when another wide smile overtakes your face.

“Bucky!”

He grins, his eyes sparkling. He looks incredible, and so fucking handsome, his hair looking fluffy from underneath his graduation cap and god, you can’t get enough of this boy.

He pulls you flush against his chest, your family cooing at the two of you. You grumble internally, but you can’t be bothered to care when you’re wrapped up in his arms. “‘M sorry I couldn’t get to you earlier, I had to take a few photos with the guys.” He murmurs, rocking you from side to side gently.

“It’s okay.” You look up at him, and he rests one of his hands on the side of your face gently, running his thumb across your cheekbone.

“I’m gonna miss you, doll.” He smiles wistfully and you’re suddenly hit with the fact that Bucky won’t be going to the same college as you. You don’t know where he’s going, he hasn’t told you, but all you know is that you’ll try your damndest to keep your relationship alive.

“I’ll miss you too, Buck.” Tears are pricking at the corner of your eyes and his face falls at the sight of it, bringing you impossibly closer.

He presses kisses all over your face gently. “Don’t cry, Y/N, I promise it’ll turn out. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Promise?” Your voice quivers slightly, but he nods, tilting your chin up.

“I promise.” He leans in, and when his lips connect with yours, you know that you’ll be okay.

The graduation party is in full swing, and you’re currently sitting on the couch in the dark corner with Wanda and Nat, who are nursing their drinks and waiting for their boys to arrive, just like you.

A notification pops up on your phone and you sigh, picking it up and expecting just another Facebook message from one of your group chats.

You crinkle your brows when you see it’s a forwarded email from Bucky, clicking on it to read it.

Oh my god. You recognise the college symbol at the top of the email at once, and fucking hell, your heart is in your throat as you read the rest of the email. After reading it again and again, you stand up, almost knocking over Wanda’s drink in your haste.

You try to weave through the crowds, thankful that it’s relatively civilised.

“Steve!” You yell to the blonde boy, your boyfriend’s best friend, his eyebrows raising when he sees you. “Do you know where Bucky is?”

He grins at the second part of your sentence, and jerks his chin over to his right. “He just came. I think he’s waitin’ for you.”

You thank him quickly, before heading in the direction Steve had indicated. Your breath hitches a little when you spot him, sitting on one of the other couches and talking to Bruce, throwing his head back as he laughs loudly.

You stand off to the side, not wanting to interrupt their conversation, until Bruce catches sight of you. He taps Bucky on the shoulder, your boyfriend crinkling his brows until Bruce points to you. Bucky turns, and he smirks at the sight of you, standing up from the couch.

“Did you see the email?” He asks, stopping a metre in front of you. In response, you grab his shirt and pull him down, pressing your lips against his hungrily. He chuckles, wrapping his arm around your waist and nipping at your bottom lip as he deepens the kiss.

“I take that as a yes.” He murmurs, as you break apart. You smack his chest, glaring at him.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that we were going to the same fucking college!” You exclaim and he smiles at you ruefully.

“I wanted it to be a surprise. Plus, it was worth it.” Bucky’s smug look returns when he looks down at his rumpled shirt. You roll your eyes as he pulls you into a gentle hug.

God, you don’t deserve this boy. “I was so fucking scared that I’d have to leave you. Wait...you didn’t choose my college because I was going to it, did you?”

Before a wave of guilt can wash over you, for influencing your boyfriend’s decisions, he shakes his head. “No, it was my first choice for the course I’m going into. Don’t worry doll. But I gotta say,” He taps your nose, “it did make me a whole lot happier to know that you’re going to the same one.”

You grin at him, letting him drag you back onto the couch with him, wrapping his arms around your middle. He places his head on your shoulder, pressing soft kisses to your neck and shoulder and sending tingles through your skin.

“Buck, you gotta stop that.” You mumble, and he looks up at you, eyebrow raised.

“No.”

“Babe, you’re distracting me.”

“No.”

“But-“

“No.” Bucky nips at your skin and you squeak, making him chuckle and pull you closer.

“I love you so much, sweetheart.” He breathes, and you ghost your lips over his fluffy hair.

“I love you too, Buck.”

SIX MONTHS LATER

“Thank you.” You smile at the woman behind the desk, twirling your key between your fingers. Apparently, the person you’re sharing a dorm with is already there. Your dorms are mixed-gender, and same-gender, so you can’t really tell who you’re going to be with.

Heading into the elevator, you nervously play with the label on your luggage, hoping that you’re paired with someone bearable. Regardless, you can still request a room change.

The elevator chimes, and you roll your luggage along the hall. 3.1a, 3.1b, 3.2a, 3.2b…3.3a!

You insert the key into the door, taking a deep breath, and you push the door open.

“Well, well, well.” A smug voice says, as soon as you enter the living room.

You drop your keys in shock, eyes widening. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Bucky laughs, his eyes shining brightly as he gets up from the couch, heading your way. “Nice to see you too, doll.”

“Did you request this?!”

He shakes his head, his smile widening. “No, I did not. But this has gotta be a pretty good coincidence.”

Shoving your luggage to the side, you wrap your arms around your boyfriend tightly, making him stumble a little bit, back onto the couch.

“Shit, Y/N.” He chuckles breathlessly, pressing a kiss to your head. “I pity our neighbours, cause we’re gonna be making a lotta noise.”

You roll your eyes, before pulling him in for a proper kiss.

I KNOW THAT MIXED-SEX DORMS ARE RARE, BUT LIKE,,, FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORY...

permanent tags (possibly closing): @vibranium-arm / @gallifreyansass / @omalleysgirl22 / @girlwith100names / @buckysinthesinbin / @petersneds / @buckyofthemyscira / @iamwarrenspeace / @alohabucky / @cuddlysteven / @buckybarnesappreciationsociety / @debbielovesbucky / @metal-armed-dino / @helloitscrowley / @sebastian-stans-thighs / @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics / @lorna-danee / @feelmyroarrrr / @mjuikoli / @megan-atthedisco / @yoyolovesbucky / @sebbies / @carriefish-er / @jurassicbarnes / @ssweet-empowerment / @shieldagentofthemonth / @palaiasaurus64 / @i-love-superhero / @infiniteholland / @ailynalonso15 / @bywonater / @vanillaicecrusher / @titty-teetee / @breezy1415 / @the-geeky-engineer / @mercedesbarnes / @bioticgoddess / @thewonderfulworldofafangirl / @realgreglestrade / @memory-of-a-goldfish / @amynotsantiago / @bandbooktvaddict / @edgyroses / @buckysmaingirl / @thefridgeismybestie / @cumonbucky / @untimelyideasforstories / @ridingmoxley / @jadalecki-jackles / @peters-vlogs / @em--z / @hdthdthdt / @thefridgeismybestie / @jamie-leah / @heyrogers / @ivy-16-18 / @marvlemarvlemarvlemarvle / @nephilimseb / @saveyourbucky / @wonderless-screwup / @rashinyx2002 / @httpmcrvel / @thunderous-flower / @buckys-newarm / @cordysblog / @swanky-batman / @bythebloodofafangirl / @disneymarina / @whyisbuckyso / @katiekitty261 / @plaid-skirt / @stan-by-me / @samwinchxtr / @mypage-myfandoms / @its-daydreamer23 / @goldenkillmonger / @savonid / @ohhhotstan / @softlysgtbarnes / @perksofeatingbacon / @sweet-barnes / @clever-theorist-painter / @thesergeantandstevie / @hewassortapunkroque / @rosescentedblood / @swtltlmrvlgrl / @thisismysecrethappyplace / @sydm15 / @jitterbuck / @impossiblyteenagestudent96400 / @winters-beauty / @marvel-biatch

(strike through means I couldn't tag you, sorry!)

#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #the winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #sebastian stan #seb stan #sebastian stan x reader #seb stan x reader

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stevenstephens · 6 years ago

Text

Pleased to meet you || Eleven

TAGGING: Ellie Berry & Steven Stephens

WHERE: Lima, OH & Columbus, OH

WHEN: Late Friday Night, January 11th

NOTES: Steven (finally) gets in contact with Ellie and they end up texting till late in the night.

Steven

Steve: Hi there, someone gave me this number when I asked if they happen to have the number of Ellie Berry. Are you her? If this is not you, than I'm sorry for disturbing your evening.

Ellie

Ellie: Hmm. I'll only tell you if you tell me who gave you this number and what you want to do to Ellie Berry

Ellie: I'm kidding. You've texted the right number. Who's this?

Steven

Steve: Unfortunately for you, I can't reveal my source. As for the reason why I'm texting... We're arranged to be married.

Steve: So hi, I'm your future husband... Steven Stephens

Ellie

Ellie: Crap. Maybe I should have just typed wrong number.

Ellie: I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You just caught me by surprise and a little off-guard.

Ellie: You've been MIA so long that I started referring to you as a phantom.

Steven

Steve: Ha, I wouldn't blame you if you had. I've been looking at my phone for about an hour before I worked up enough courage to hit send

Steve: No worries, totally understandable.

Steve: Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I tend to lose track of time when I'm working on a project and then a day turns into a week, that turns into a month... but I'm here now.

Ellie

Ellie: No. I maybe sarcastic, but I'm not rude

Ellie: Okay now I have to ask - why were you so hesitant to contact me? I'm not expecting anything. I actually find the whole lottery system reprehensible

Ellie: I see. So you're a workaholic? Good to know. What exactly do you do for a living? My parents gave me absolutely no information other than your name. Didn't help since prior to my summons, I had little to no contact with Lima.

Steven

Steve: My parents will love it when they hear that. They always claim they would have done a better job with it.

Steve: As to the why so hesitant, it's a mixture of a few things, but mostly a family feud I tried to distance myself from by moving to Columbus, and this will drag me right back into it - and the other, well, I wanted to safe you from being tied down in a marriage that's just a piece of paper... it's hard to explain through text, but have you heard of the term demisexual.

Steve: A huge workaholic. I develop apps for both mobile phones as for computers.

Ellie

Ellie: Thanks? Think my politeness will outweigh the fact I dropped out of college and went on tour with my band?

Ellie: Okay. Wow. Quite a bit to unpack there. Sounds like your life is a telenovela. Who is the feud with?

Ellie: Again. I didn't expect anything. To be honest, I figured the marriage would simply be on paper.

Ellie: You can't force love. It has to happen organically, by choice.

Ellie: I - just googled it. So, basically no sex without an emotional bond? Like not even just for a release?

Ellie: That's cool. I love my phone and it's apps. I'm a studio drummer and starting next week part time student

Steven

Steve: You've got a band? That's so cool! And yes, I think it will outweigh it. They believe in good education, but they also believe that being happy with what you do for a living is essential.

Steve: Hmm, you're not far off with that description. You aren't from Lima, are you? It's with the Jones'.

Steve: Exactly, love has to grow. This whole Marriage Law... well, it's not fair on anyone.

Steve: Not necessarily. If we manage to build a strong enough deep connection, there might come a time where sex is an option. But there is no say in how long it will take for me to get to that point. I'm so sorry.

Steve: A studio drummer? Do you work for a studio and any artist can hire you, is that how it works. Are you going back to school? Exciting! What are you going to study?

Ellie

Ellie: Well we're on hiatus at the moment. I'm going to be playing on a few new albums.

Ellie: I'm a quick study. Why is there so much drama in your life? I avoid my parents, so they won't be an issue. I am. I just left when I was 17. I went to Yale, dropped out right before graduation and never came back.

Ellie: Yes. I know them. Don't tell anyone, but Mercedes was matched with my ex-boyfriend.

Ellie: I see. There's no reason to be sorry. I mean, I like sex, but it'll be fine. Probably better anyway. Lately I've had issues compartmentalizing sex and feelings.

Ellie: I'm working with Blaine Anderson right now, but yes, in theory any artist can hire me through the label to drum for them. It's pretty much a dream come true.

Ellie: I was studying theatre and economics. My parents wanted me to go into the family business. They're theatre owners.

Ellie: Online and part time. Yale has an interdisciplinary major. Kind of like a general studies degree. Not ideal but at least my credits are still good.

Steven

Steve: It sounds like you can be as busy with work at times as I am, we'll make quite the pair of workaholics, ha.

Steve: Beats me, I tried to stay out of the whole feud but when your parents want to check everyone you hang out with to make sure they aren't friends with the Jones'... well it doesn't make for a happy childhood. So I choose to settle down in Columbus after graduating from MIT.

Steve: My lips are sealed. From what I remember from back in the days she can be quite bossy at times, so I wish him luck.

Steve: I'm alright with making it an open marriage if you feel the need you're free to look outside our marriage for sex. We just have to make sure you won't get caught while doing so.

Steve: Hmm-mm, love, and sex are hard to separate at times. So yes, perhaps this whole thing will give you some time to learn to distinguish the two.

Steve: Blaine Anderson, the name sounds familiar... from what I heard very talented. So you could end up working with some huge names? That must be so exciting.

Steve: Oh that's good, that way you don't have to start all over. When will you graduate?

Ellie

Ellie: I suppose so. :) Do you plan on staying in Columbus?

Ellie: Ugh. That actually sounds pretty miserable. Rather isolating.

Ellie: MIT? So you must be pretty smart. Any chance you could make an app to rig the lottery system so it crashes?

Ellie: She and I are in decent terms. Friendly I guess. Thanks for the discretion. Literally no one else knows. Not even my sisters.

Ellie: Usually I'm pretty good about keeping my emotions at bay. However lately things have gotten complicated. It kind of sucks.

Ellie: No sex might turn out to be a positive thing for me.

Ellie: He is incredibly talented and sweet too. I've been friends with him forever. And yes! My roommate actually is a recording artist. He's on the down low right now though.

Ellie: If I play my cards right, about a year.

Ellie: And not to sound superficial, but can you send me a picture of yourself? It's be nice to put a face to the texts

Steven

Steve: I honestly do not know what the future brings when it comes to living here or in Columbus, depends on how well my father's going to react to his treatments. But I do love the freedom that living in Columbus brings.

Steve: It was. But it's something I got used to.

Steve: Ha, I might give it a try? First I'd have to break into their server, not my strong suit but I'd be willing to give it a try.

Steve: Keep your fingers crossed that Liv lady doesn't catch wind of it else the whole town will know all about it. But if you guys been super discreet I doubt she ever will.

Steve: I'm sorry. Was it with someone who's forced into the Marriage law as well? Know what, I don't have to know. Only if you feel like sharing.

Steve: Ah, so not only do you work with big names you also live with one. Very intrigued at the moment, not going to lie.

Steve: A year, that's doable... you'll be done before you know it.

Steve: Is that a good enough picture for you? :wink:

Ellie

Ellie: It's not a huge deal one way or the other. I guess it's just something we'd have to figure out if we actually abide by the rules and go forward. I honestly can't believe I'm so calm about it. I just assumed I'd be hyperventilating or fleeing Lima.

Ellie: No kid should have to go through that. I was adopted by my dads. I had my fair share of dealing with cruel kids and some adults

Ellie: You should! Just make sure you cover your tracks. Like in one of those hacker movies

Ellie: We've only hung out a couple of times and in private. Nothing happened that would be considered suspect ot tawdry.

Ellie: He is, but that's not really the issue. He made his intentions clear. I got caught up in the what if. It's fine though. He hasn't texted me in a while.

Ellie: Ha I do! He's become one of my best friends. We're kindred spirits and platonic soul mates. If you stick around, you'll find out soon enough.

Ellie: That's what I keep telling myself. I'm actually excited, nervous and proud of myself.

Ellie: Umm... Seriously? That's you?

Ellie: I know you didn't ask, but I thought it only fair.

Steven

Steve: We can talk living arrangements along planning all other things. Columbus is only an hour and a half away from Lima, it's a long commute but always an option. Plus we'd be away from the prying eyes of that Higher Counsel, and I doubt they'll drop by for surprise checks if they have to travel far.

Steve: Kids can be so cruel to each other, can't they? I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Steve: I'm very proud of the firewall I coded for myself, they won't be able to track anything, trust me.

Steve: That's good, that way she doesn't have dirt on you. I'm not fond of that gossip blog. I doubt anybody is anyway.

Steve: Wow, that's rather a cruel thing to do. At least have the decency to text someone back.

Steve: I'll be on my best behavior, ha. Good to hear you guys hit it of so well, especially since he's your roommate.

Steve: As you should be. It's a huge step to take. I'm proud of you for taking it.

Steve: Seriously, that is me.

Steve: And thank you for sending a few of yours, you look lovely. And I got a face to go with the texts.

Ellie

Ellie: Yeah, of course. There's plenty of time to plan. My girl best friend is getting married soon. I think maybe that's why this whole thing sounds less crazy. The guy she was matched with actually turned out to be a good guy.

Ellie: And I hadn't thought about the privacy aspect. You make a good point. I'd just hate to leave my housemates without warning

Ellie: It's ok. I mean, don't get me wrong, it sucked at the time. But it also made me stronger.

Ellie: Thanks. That's very sweet of you to say. I have absolutely no coding experience, so I'm going to take your word for that. Let me know if your attempt works, ok?

Ellie: Everyone has their own issues and priorities. I'll get over it

Ellie: He's a blast so no need to be on your best behavior. We go dancing and have pretty much every take out menu in Lima memorized.

Ellie: Do you wake up looking like that?

Ellie: Thanks. And yes, yes you do

Steven

Steve: Who's your girl best friend? I'm asking because one of my friends is getting married soon as well, he got his name drawn in the Marriage lottery.

Steve: We have time to figure it all out, and if we decide on Columbus there will be plenty of time to warn your housemates about it. Who knows, I might actually like being back in Lima 24/7/365 and be the one moving to another town.

Steve: That is true, it build character and strength, but it's still bad people get like that toward people just because they're different from what's considered the norm.

Steve: I'll keep you posted.

Steve: If you want for his phone to get infected with a virus let me know :wink:

Steve: Oh, perhaps one day I can join you guys when you go dancing? It's been years since I last seen the inside of a club.

Steve: No, my hair's a mess when I wake up. According to many it is a look that suits me rather well.

Steve: You're welcome. It's a pleasure to finally have a face with the name.

Ellie

Ellie: Her name is Laura. She's one of the most amazing people I know.

Ellie: I suppose that true. When I first returned to Lima I had absolutely no intention of staying. However, now I'm not sure if I could live anywhere else.

Ellie: Although I would like to go back on tour at some point.

Ellie: Ha. No. He's a good guy. I just need to move forward and no dwell.

Ellie: New year right?

Ellie: Yeah, of course. We're actually trying to make our outings a weekly event.

Ellie: I'm sure it is.

Ellie: Oh and it's actually my "real" name is Elizabeth. No one calls me though.

Steven

Steve: No shit?! My friend whose name got drawn is Alex!

Steve: As I mentioned before at the moment I'll be in Lima most of the time. That's the beauty about my line of work, as long as I've got a connection to the internet I don't even have to leave the house.

Steve: ^^^^ I can work from anywhere in the world, so if you want to tour and this Marriage Law needs for us to be around each other I can tag along.

Steve: New Year, new you.

Steve: Oh, perhaps one day I can join you guys when you go dancing? It's been years since I last seen the inside of a club.

Steve: One day you can judge for yourself if it does or doesn't.

Steve: Ah, so Ellie is your nickname so to speak? How did they end up calling you Ellie instead of something like Liz?

Steve: Any siblings I'll have to meet one day?

Ellie

Ellie: Ha. Really? Small world!

Ellie: Sounds like a pretty awesome field. One thing I love about touring is seeing places I never would have thought of visiting.

Ellie: You'd do that? Are you always so agreeable and amenable?

Ellie: That's what I'm going for.

Ellie: Yeah. Just let me know when you'd like to join us.

Ellie: Oddly enough, your comment

made me blush.

Ellie: My parents hated Ellie and/or any other variation? I guess the never saw me as a Liz.

Steven

Steve: Very small world indeed.

Steve: For a nerd like me it is, yes. That's sounds pretty damn awesome. What places have you been to so far?

Steve: Yeah, I would. Hmmm, not all the time. Don't ask me things before I had at least 2 cups of coffee and some breakfast, else the answer will be no for sure.

Steve: I'll keep it in mind. If, two months from now I still haven't asked about joining you guys, hmu. I'd probably forgot all about.

Steve: Did it really?

Steve: So it was to rile up your parents? Nice! And come on, you could so be a Liz.

Steve: Talking about parents... do you have any siblings?

Ellie

Ellie: Certainly is

Ellie: I think most people would enjoy having that flexibility. I've actually been coast to coast. My favorite states are probably New York City and Oregon. Very different, but equally beautiful in their own way.

Ellie: Haha. A fellow caffeine addict. I live on coffee. I also love to eat.

Ellie: Will do!

Ellie: Yep. Something that's relatively difficult to do, so take it as a compliment.

Ellie: Sort of? A friend called me Ellie and it kind of stuck.

Ellie: I don't know. Never saw myself as Liz.

Ellie: My dads' names are Hiram and Leroy. I also have two older sisters (twins) Rachel and Amelia.

Steven

Steve: Yeah, I guess you can say that. Wow, I did a lot of traveling in my life but never been coast to coast. Boston is lovely, Columbus is great and one of my favorite cities to visit is Barcelona, oh and Venice, though tourism is killing the fun. It's so full of tourists these days. Any place or country you really want to visit one day?

Steve: Note to self, make sure to stock up on coffee just in case El comes to visit.

Steve: Alright, score one for me, ha.

Steve: That settles it, I'm going to start calling you Liz every now and then, just to show you that it fits you perfectly.

Steve: I've got one sister, Emily. She's 6 years younger.

Steve: God, look at us talking the night away here, I like it.

Steve: I'm not keeping you from anything, am I?

Ellie

Ellie: I do! Yes, Boston is gorgeous. My dream has always been to travel through Europe. I was hoping to get a European band tour set up, but I doubt that will happen at this point. Elliott (my housemate) and I discussed getting a group together and taking a trip.

Ellie: Haha yes. And I am not one of those fancy coffee drinkers other. I like it strong and crappy. Liquid black gold

Ellie: Oh boy. Did I create a monster in one text? Or did you always have this competitive side?

Ellie: Sigh. Okay. Can we meet in the middle with Elizabeth?

Ellie: Oh. I never asked how old you were. I'm 26. Are you and your sister close?

Ellie: Yeah. It's been really easy. Next time we should try talking. I'd like to hear what your voice sounds like.

Ellie: No. I need to go into the studio at some point and have a photo shoot in the afternoon, but nothing right now. That's what coffee and cold showers are for. :)

Steven

Steve: Never say never, if you guys are able to get together that band then go for it! Life's too short to not enjoy every minute of it.

Steve: Okay, okay, noted... the stronger the better.

Steve: I've always been kind of competitive, so yeah, not all your doing but it did help resurface that side of me.

Steve: That's such a mouth full tho... we'll see.

Steve: Yeah, even though we haven't lived in the same town for a while now we are close. We talk/text all the time. Are you close to your sisters?

Steve: We can do that, or we can meet up in person?

Steve: I've got an appointment with a realtor later today, I need to find a place to rent for the time being. The hotel suite I'm currently am in is fine, but not suitable to stay long periods of time and I rather not move into my parents pool house. I'm fond of my privacy.

Ellie

Ellie: No definitely. I agree there. It's just there's a lot of logisitcal stuff that goes into a tour. Not to mention financing.

Ellie: I need to see how this new job pans out. It has a lot of potential.

Ellie: If it doesn't grow hair on your chest, it isn't coffee. ;)

Ellie: That's why I can braid mine. Kidding. My chest is hair free.

Ellie: Well good because so am I. I'm always up for a challenge and adventure.

Ellie: You could also call me El. A lot of people do.

Ellie: Are the two mutually exclusive? When will you be in Lima?

Ellie: Oh really? Like as in today?

Ellie: Yeah that's why I found my own place. I was living in motels for a while, but it was getting too expensive.

Steven

Steve: How does that work, the financing part? Through sponsors or you make sure you have bookings all over Europe that bring in the money?

Steve: It's always nice to have a steady income, to know that at the end of the month there's a paycheck waiting for you.

Steve: OMG! You almost got me asking for photographic evidence. of that, ha.

Steve: Perfect! That will keep things interesting and fun.

Steve: Hmm, how about tomorrow afternoon? I'll be in Lima by then.

Steve: That, plus hotels never feel like home to me. The only plus side... housekeeping and room service, ha

Ellie

Ellie: Usually there's sponsorship or a band hooks up with another (with more name recognition). I just don't have that right now. I may end up going on tour with my housemate. Probably not Europe though.

Ellie: Yes exactly. My parents cut me off when I dropped out of school and while I did get some cash from them when I came back, I just couldn't continue I don't like being dependent on them. It always comes with strings attached.

Ellie: Ha. Gotcha. I would have totally scoured the internet for a woman with a braided chest.

Ellie: Only way to live

Ellie: Umm sure? Where and when?

Ellie: I know what you mean. I actually started cooking again. It's been an adventure.

Steven

Steve: Staying in the States for now? It's a huge market to start. Who knows, it might result in you finding a few sponsors. Hell, for all you know all you have to do is a couple of performances in Lima to showcase your band. Plenty of people there who got the cash to sponsor a band. Pretty sure some might even see it as a great investment that will give them some tax refunds.

Steve: Au, sounds like the parental unit is hard to please? I'm sorry. Mine are way easier. I still get a monthly allowance. Not that I touched a dime of it ever since I graduated from MIT. So that makes for a nice cushion whenever time gets rough, ha.

Steve: NVM, I just saw those pictures your friend? took from you and you posted on your Instagram.... I couldn't spot a single chest hair.

Steve: Also.... very lovely pictures!

Steve: Lu Lu's Diner over at Spencerville Rd, say around 2pm?

Steve: This is going to sounds so spoiled but I've got a Chef who cooks for me. Not that I can't cook, or that I'm too lazy to do it, but if Craig wouldn't be there on a daily basis I probably forget to eat. I tend to zone out while working, and forget all about having a meal.

Ellie

Ellie: I believe so. We haven't really discussed the details. More of comments in passing. Well, my band is scattered at the moment. None of them were from Lima. Honestly they'd never heard of it before they met me. I'm hoping my housemate will pick them up as backup

Ellie: My parents are impossible today please. They think they know what's best regardless of the situation. It's a huge point of contention between us.

Ellie: That's a good plan. I had a cushion until I moved back and burned through my savings

Ellie: Ha. You saw them? Thank you. I still can't believe that's me. Don't get me wrong, I'm confident about my appearance, but she took it to a whole new level

Ellie: Alright. Lu Lu's at 2, it is

Ellie: Oh wow. My parents had a chef. I can't see myself with one though

Steven

Steve: Why do I get the feeling that most of your friends are in some way into music?

Steve: In that case, I'll be on my best behavior the first time I meet with them. Or we could set a date, invite your parents and mine to dinner and be done with it. Might take away some of the scrutinies on the both of us, lolol

Steve: Wow, that must have been one costly move back to town.

Steve: I did. I'm sure she did an excellent job to make you look extremely beautiful and hot at the same time, but she couldn't have done that if you weren't gorgeous already.

Steve: It's a date. I'll see you there.

Steve: My bubbe insisted I take one when she noticed that I forgot to eat the brisket she made me. Plus the guy is fun company, he keeps me entertained, ha.

Ellie

Ellie: Not all, but most. Laura isn't a musician and we make the whole bestie thing work :)

Ellie: Meh. I'd respect you more if you weren't. I mean, just be yourself when you meet them. Oh wow, this got very real really fast. Didn't expect it to creep up on me like that

Ellie: Whew. Need to breathe through that one. I don't like having dinner with my parents. I'd hate to subject you to them as well

Elle: How about they just get together? They're going to end up taking over anyway.

Ellie: Thank you for saying that. I appreciate the compliment.

Ellie: Perfect

Ellie: Wait. Are you Jewish?

Steven

Steve: Ah, so one of my best friends is going to marry your best friend... does that make us best friends in law? :P

Steve: Oh, I'm sorry... I feel like a jerk right now thinking I said something wrong. We can fully postpone the whole meeting the parents moment till later, much much later.

Steve: Ha, yes.. I think you're correct when you say that. In fact, knowing my mother, we probably only have to show up and say I do at some point in the ceremony. I'm about 99.9% sure she has the whole day planned already... for years now.

Steve: No prob, you're welcome.

Steve: Yes I am. I thought you knew!? I've known for quite some time now that you are, mom wouldn't shut up that I was lucky enough to be matched up with a Jewish girl.

Ellie

Ellie: Ha. I dig it. What about you?

Ellie: Solid foundation for a relationship.

Ellie: No, no. Please don't. My parents just suck. I don't even know if my sisters talk to them anymore.

Ellie: LOL. At least it'll be low stress?

Ellie: How intense are your parents?

Ellie: No. Like I said they literally told me nothing. Just a name. Yikes. No pressure there. I'm not super religious. I celebrate the major holidays.

Steven

Steve: Same! It's the best foundation for one if you ask me.

Steve: Can I suggest asking them if they do or not? It would save you a panic attack or two... cause what is the use for me to getting to know them if none of their kids even want to talk to them.

Steve: Mine, although they are still very vocal about the whole "It would have been far better for this town and the Marriage Law if we were the ones to set it," are surprisingly laid back.

Steve: Yeah, as low stress a wedding could be. But also very un-personal and not us. And I don't know if that's something I want for us.

Steve: That's very little to go by and once again, I'm sorry for waiting this long before I got in contact with you. Oh, the last time I've been to a synagogue has been a while. I'm more of a major holidays guy myself. So you're good!

Steve: Not to be a jerk or anything as such, but it is getting late and I got an early drive to Lima ahead of me in the morning, so can we wrap this up?

Ellie

Ellie: I'm sorry! Yes. We can just continue talking in person. Get some sleep and I guess I'll see you tomorrow

Steven

Steve: It's alright, we're both to blame here :smiley: Looking forward to meeting you in person. Sweet dreams!

#[ texts ]#text:ellie

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the-empires-weapon · 6 years ago

Text

Note on Resentment

AKA why I haven’t been posting very much. Full thing below the cut.

Soooooooooooo...I haven’t been well.

I want to say that it started at the end of August, but to be honest this has been building all summer. I think it’s pretty easy to tell that I haven’t been well since the summer began, just in a variety of risk-taking and emotional baggage that I’ve been carrying around. I mean, I was fucking with tips at work - while I understand the sort of vigilante justice shindig I was getting at, that could’ve cost me my job long before I was ready to leave. That, and the frustration I had about the job, were really unhealthy signs that told me I needed to get out. Since then, as of late August, my behavior’s manifested in worsening ways, and I finally got put onto a medication regimen that was going to help me feel a little less shitty.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut I think I know the truth now. Or, at least some of it.

When I first started this tumblr it was entirely for me to shout into the void and screw around in a fandom I was really excited about. It was a chance for me to rave about my OCs like everybody else. And that wouldn’t have been a big deal if things hadn’t gone like they did. But: they did, and my responses are my own, and that’s my issue to deal with.

The long and short of it is this: back in the spring I joined a group that was made up of a bunch of people in the fandom who were all friends of this main person. We all enjoyed each others’ company, and besides some . . . sticky situations which I won’t go into, we all just had a fun time talking about SWTOR. What was really nice was that I felt like I had a voice? And I wasn’t always being put down for being outrageous or energetic or excited. That was a really nice thing.

And then things began to shift.

I want to preface this by saying that I have no bad feelings towards anybody, because that would be shit, but I also want to make it clear: lots of the things I felt have been motivated by trauma from my own history, i.e. abuse. So that’s why I have been responding in the ways I have been. Regardless of that, the people I’m talking about are all fantastic, even if I won’t name them by name, because privacy.

Some people in the group began to click really well with one another; some of them began to become really popular in ways that I got to watch from the sidelines. That’s not anybody’s fault; it happens. When people have good content and ideas, that stuff happens. These people are still my friends, and I’m happy for their successes.

Well . . . or at least I want to be.

But some part of me started getting upset about it. It was this little voice that turned into this monster - why were they getting so much success when I was doing the same damn things in my corner, and at times better? Why were they becoming big when I wasn’t? It was more than that, too; I would make good content, KNOW it was good, KNOW I had an audience, but never got attention. I would churn out a post that got really popular - to me sixty notes was a godsend! - but almost nothing on my personal stuff. I was having moments of great success, but they never translated. It sort of became an obsession. I wanted to be relevant and interested and get attention. Unfortunately, it got to a point where I was feeling so proud of the stuff I was making, but couldn’t understand why they were never as popular as the rare 60+ or even 100+ notes I got on occasion. Everybody else was soaring and meanwhile I felt like I was sinking. So, I did what was best for me: I put this tumblr on hiatus and got the hell out of dodge for a little while.

I know this sounds a bit like a pity party - which I guess it is. I didn’t realize for a long time that this was how I was feeling. Now I’m a little closer to figuring it out, which is a blessing. But there’s still a lot of work to be done.

I’m just going to be upfront right now: I’m not sure I’m returning to SWTOR whenever I get back. Much as I can recognize WHY the resentment’s here, that doesn’t mean it isn’t any less real. And lots of it is stewed in the fandom. So if that’s the only reason you were here, then I totally get if now’s the time for you to peace out.

In the MEANTIME. I am working on content that’s way more exciting for me, that’s original work, that I really want to develop and push for my own creative benefit. That means, surprise surprise, working towards my dream of being a full-time artist. I’m not sure if it’ll be on this blog or not, if I may just rename this one, but I’ve reached a point where if my work is only selectively-viewed, then I’m going to make it the stuff that I feel will get my places. That means more of my art, my writing, revamping my Patreon, maybe even making a website. The first step to battling this resentment is to take out the competition, and if it’s my own work then I’m only competing with myself.

This is not going to happen overnight. It’s going to take some time; I’m still struggling with other things right now. But: those are what my thoughts have been and I figured it was finally time to share them. I know there are gonna be people that leave, or think me a brainless twat, but if that’s how you feel, then so be it. I understand now why I’ve been doing what I’ve been doing.

tl;dr I’ve grown to resent my own work and the work of those around me, and I’m sick of it. From now on I’m going to measure my success on my own terms, and stop feeling bitter about the people around me.

#long story short #or i'll just c+p my tl;dr #i'm resenting the work of my peers and my own content #and i'm tired of doing that #so i'm going to try on a clean slate #tbh i'm proud that i'm figuring some of it out #but i also know that there are gonna be people who say i'm just bullshit #and y'know what? fine #but I gotta decide for myself what it is I'm doing #because I"m really tired of feeling so much resentment towards other people #I'm just over it #I don't want to hate on my friends' successes #that's what being an awful person is like #and i don't want to be that way #so i'm going to take the time for me #and figure my shit out

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momorabu · 8 years ago

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Ensemble Stars! Event Story - Reminiscence * Sentimental Liars / Guilty of Perjury

Sorry for the really long hiatus since it’s been like 3 weeks since my last translation ><” Things cropped up after my trip, therefore, I still haven’t had the chance to really sit down and finish reading the next event story I was going to translate… TWT

However, on April’s Fools, Happy Elements released a short story showing the teachers’ side stories again, in a similar fashion like last year. Since it was pretty short (only 4 chapters), I decided to read it and translate it. (Helps that it was fully voiced so I could understand it better - wish it was like this for all of Ensemble Stars’ stories~)

PS: This event story happens after the event story from last year’s April fools, though I don’t really think there’s much in relation so it’s okay if you’ve not read it yet. (If not there’s probably some translation floating around somewhere) I currently have no plans to re-read and translate that story yet, but if you really wish for me to do, please give me a shout through my ask box~

Anyway as always, the summary of the story can be found below. Translation may not be 100% accurate due to my poor Japanese skills~

通行止めの天國 / Impassable Heaven: Chapter 1

The story starts whereby one day “I” went to the sickbay and found Sagami Sensei asleep on the desk, and thus went onto waking him up. Sagami wished “I” didn’t wake him up since he was really having a nice nap, but then he also realised that it’s bad practice to fall asleep in the middle of the job =w=“ Rather than waking him up normally, he wished that “I” do it in a more “cute” way like “Please wake up~ Sensei~” while hugging him XD (No way “I’m” going to do that though…)

It was quite a busy time of the school year, as Sagami Sensei said it’s not fun looking after the these “not cute” kids at all as he probably has to help with taking care of some matters (I guess…)

The reason “I” went to the sickbay was to hand in the duty roster diary, which Sagami Sensei said that it’s not really needed for him to check it so “I” could just leave it on the desk and didn’t have to wake him up. (Just sounds like he doesn’t want to check it though…) He said that even if something was to happen in class, the teacher may not know about it since student could always choose to omit information and not write it in the diary, but realising that he was referring to “me”, he quickly changed his tune and said that of course he trusted “me”, to the point he totally don’t even need to check whether there’ll be false information at all… (How ironic =w=“)

Another reason he doesn’t want to check would be his failing eyesight, making it difficult to read small words…

Just then, Akiomi Sensei appeared, saying that he has something for Jin (which is Sagami Sensei). Noticing me at the sickbay, Akiomi wondered if I’m feeling unwell, saying that being in a different environment suddenly might cause one to fall sick easily, as “I” had just transferred to this academy at the time of this event story. Akiomi has noticed that “I” seems to be suffering a lack of sleep recently, and gave advice that “I” really should make sure “I” have proper sleep~ (Aww~ Akiomi is smiling while giving out such advice, I can’t help but say “Yes Sensei, I’ll listen to you”, though he said “I” might die at this rate if I don’t get enough sleep =w=“)

However, towards Sagami Sensei, Akiomi has a different attitude towards him, demanding him why on earth is he taking a nap during working hours XD He also dissed him that if he slept for too long, his brain cells will start dying and Sagami Sensei will become someone more like a zombie =w=“

Sagami Sensei just coolly rebutted it though, saying that he has no use for his brain cells anyway and he’s alright in just letting them die~ OWO

Sagami Sensei didn’t like how Akiomi is always nagging on him, like a mum indeed. He even teased that perhaps Akiomi wanted to be his bride (a.k.a wife) which is why he’s so naggy on him XD (He even played along his surname with Akiomi’s name, saying that it’ll have two “mi” since the whole name will be Sagami Akiomi if Akiomi took on Sagami’s surname ^^;)

In the end, Akiomi has to ask him to cut it off since it’s very embarrassing to talk about such stuff in front of the student (which is just “me” only actually ^^;)

Sagami Sensei couldn’t even remember what he has asked Akiomi to help him with, which is why Akiomi came to look him for. Turns out that Sagami Sensei has received a videotape that he can’t play (no video tape player), and thus requested the help of Akiomi. Akiomi has used all his network to finally track down on someone who was able to extract the video files from the videotape and burned it on a CD-R. And thus he was here to pass the CD-R to Sagami Sensei.

Akiomi was more curious on the sender who sent this videotape actually since he was Sagami Sensei’s rival back then when they’re still idols and wondered if it’s some dangerous message and content in the video files. (Seems like Sagami Sensei has alot of enemies from his old idol days back then, where there’ll be people sending him threatening letters OWO”)

In the end, they decided to play the CD-R to view the videos and got out a laptop to play it. Sagami Sensei was afraid it might be a curse video (where one will be cursed if he watched it? XD) Akiomi has to comfort him and that Akiomi will be the one watching it anyway, and Sagami Sensei could just close his eyes and not watch if he’s that scared XD Also there’s a letter/note that came with the videotape, saying “Liar!”, which nobody understood what that means.

通行止めの天國 / Impassable Heaven: Chapter 2

The video brings us back to the old days where Sagami Sensei was an idol. (Shall call him Jin now that he’s younger XD) During a concert, Jin announced to his fans regarding a certain event that happened and affected him greatly, which is that his older brother has passed away due to cancer recently.

He talked about things that he had done when he was at the hospital visiting his brother, like drawing on the walls. He also mentioned things that his brother had told him to always do in life: to always greet people, to not bring trouble to other people, to sleep and wake up early. Jin confessed that he does feel lonely now that one person who has always been supportive of him had left.

But most importantly, he felt that he wanted to thank his brother and that he loved him, as a very important member of his family. And thus he will dedicate the next song to him, as thanks~

At the end of the live concert though, Jin felt extremely exhausted and also guilt towards his brother, since he knew that he’s using this sad tale of his brother passing away to gain sympathy from his fans and thus increasing the sale of his CDs.

This is what his company has ordered, and so Jin felt that he’s really just a by-product, and that idol is just something to be sold and thus has no right to say anything.

He wondered if it would have been better if he had become a doctor instead (maybe guiltily thinking that he might have helped to save his brother’s life that way?) Jin’s family was actually against of him being an idol, with his dad being right in saying that idol is just a product (at that time), that his brother was the only one who supported Jin’s dreams. Jin’s brother is really encouraging and supportive towards him, and that’s why Jin felt that his brother would definitely be able to go to heaven when he passed away. As for him, Jin thinks that he won’t be able to go to heaven and thus will descend into hell, where the demons might just pull out his tongue…

(This whole part just sounds so depressing and shows how dark the idol world can be on the inside… TAT TAT It also showed that it’s hard for one to keep on working hard to become an idol, especially if one suffers from objection from his family and there’s no support from them.)

Just when Jin was thinking whether he has really become “someone he wants to be” and whether “super idol Jin” is someone he wanted to be, his thoughts got interrupted when Akiomi and his unit came on stage and asked him to get off XDD

Jin looked over at his junior Akiomi and praised him that he has finally able to become an idol by himself. However, Akiomi frowned and said he would never be, since Jin will be the last “Super Idol”, as now companies are releasing units instead of solos, with the concept of idols changing again with time. (Now it’s gradually heading towards to era of groups and units~)

Sensing that Akiomi doesn’t seem to feel happy about it, Jin wondered whether Akiomi doesn’t get along with his “comrades” / unit members. Akiomi denied that they’re his comrades, stating that they’re just people who happened to be “sold” as a set.

(Wah…. Akiomi is suddenly so dark and realistic, I remembered in the last story, he was all Kira Kira about wanting to debut OAO” Guess this is what happened when you’ve stepped into the industry and realised it’s not what you’ve envisioned?)

Akiomi felt sad about letting Jin go (probably meaning that he’ll retire from the idol world), and that he really wanted to be able to sing and dance with him. He felt sorry that even after so much practice and even support from Jin, Akiomi has not been able to become the “Super Idol” like Jin in the end…

通行止めの天國 / Impassable Heaven: Chapter 3

After the concert, Jin found Akiomi still practising in his performance outfit. Akiomi shot him back by saying that Jin was also the same as he was wearing his performance outfit too. But Jin just smiled and explained that he has been busy after the concert since he has to attend interviews and such that he doesn’t even have time to change actually.

He went onto asking Akiyomi to save him from the evil empire, as everyone is robbing of his sleeping time ^^; Akiomi just coolly asked him to feedback to his manager though, as it’s no help that he’s complaining to him. For Jin, his schedule can be pretty terrible since he said that sometimes he can only rest when the doctor forced them to stop his schedules when his body is at quite a critical condition… (What a terrible management company Jin is in OAO”)

Seems like Akiomi was still feeling down that he has not been able to become a Super Idol like Jin, where Jin said he has already warned Akiomi before (that the idol industry won’t be a pretty place). Akiomi gets it since it’s actually pretty similar to how the model industry works, as he’s in it too. However, it’s still pretty crushing knowing that what you’ve seen on TV and has imagined an idol would be, is actually quite different in reality…

Jin was being sarcastic and said that being an idol is kind of similar to working in a religion, where one can actually accumulate lots of wealth by “selling” a certain concept for people to believe. (I don’t really think Jin wanted to insult religion that way but I guess he’s just referring to how religion cults gain believer’s donation when they spread the religion thinking out =w=“)

Jin, being a solo has to sell an image of “love” to fangirls, saying that almost all of his songs are love songs and that he always refers to his fangirls as “you” instead of “you guys”. This is such that each and every fangirl will feel entitled that the solo idol is giving them a one-on-one treatment, pretty much like an imagination boyfriend kind of image.

Jin even sarcastically said that he feels like he’s cheating the girls of their love and money, similar to how those who cheated the other party by saying that they’ll get married and yet ran off with the money =w=“

But things are going to change now that people are realising what the idol industry is exploiting, and now units like Akiomi’s are going to rule and save the idol world, even though it’s probably going to take some time for the public to get used to the new system~ As for Jin, he knew he’s going to retire, along with all these lies that he’s been weaving over the years, and even asked Akiomi to step on him as he likes…

Jin’s still glad that towards the last remaining time of him glowing as an idol, he still had a chance to perform with someone else like Akiomi, as Jin has always been performing alone. He asked Akiomi to come to him if he ever encountered any trouble in the future, as he has treated Akiomi as a very good friend of him~ (Ahh~ What a nice way to end the chapter in their past)

通行止めの天國 / Impassable Heaven: Chapter 4

And back at the present, Akiomi watched the video and realised it’s a video that’s taken secretly during one of Jin’s live. During live concert, it’s actually not allowed to take videos at that time but seems like some fans still did it secretly, and these videos turn out to be very precious and even cultivated a market at that time.

And why does Akiomi knew about this? He was actually a fan of Jin at that time, but he knew that he should abide by the fan club rules and thus he doesn’t do that (as in filming Jin’s performance), but he also knew all these dark behind-the-scenes secrets in the fan club +W+ (Kind of cute seeing how Akiomi admits to being Jin’s fanboy even when they’re both adults XD)

Jin used to be really popular that he has alot of fans, which is why it’s not weird that some of the fans can be weird or too crazy in general to break the rules. However, looking at Jin now, Akiomi could only think the past is in the shadow… (I like how there’s this new animation as Akiomi is just side-eyeing Jin that way XD)

Jin knew that everything is just a trend and thus he, like many others will just be passed over when they’re not in trend anymore. However, he wondered why on earth does this videotape is sent to him now? It has been many years since he has retired from the idol industry… And what is it about the note that said “Liar!”

Upon watching the video again, Jin recalled that it was filmed during a time he was VSing another idol on a TV broadcast. The other idol was placed as Jin’s rival on the management companies’ decision, and as expected, he was beaten very badly by Jin’s performance and popularity.

Jin remembered how badly the idol had cried as he had worked very hard yet still lost and has asked Jin to continue his dreams of being an idol. Jin felt very bad for trampling on yet another idol’s dream at that point in time.

However, Jin’s dreams of being an idol did not last long as he soon retired from the idol industry. And since Jin didn’t keep the promise to become an idol forever which the other idol asked him to, he probably thought of Jin as a liar.

Jin wanted to contact this old rival of him to apologise and to clarify the past with him, but at the same time, he’s afraid that the other party is bearing a grudge on him and might end up getting his children (if they’ve followed their father’s footstep in becoming an idol) or his students to come to take revenge on him by targetting his students ^^; (This is why you should not have made so many enemies in the past… OAO”)

In the end, Jin gets so worried that he’s afraid that he might not be able to sleep well tonight. Akiomi just laughed and said it’s just nice that he doesn’t sleep since he has already slept so much in the day so it’ll balance out XD

Realising that “I’m” still there listening to their tale, Akiomi Sensei urged me to go home, and even offered to drive me home. (I’m… I’m so touched Sensei~ ^///^)

Even though the past forms the present, what’s important is the future. And thus Akiomi Sensei wished that “I” would be someone who could support the idols in the future.

(So cute that he just want me to go home and soon and sleep warmly~ Sensei is so nice to me that I want to cry already TWT TWT)

And that’s the end of this short story. I’m glad that Ensemble Stars has taken this chance to let us know the back stories of the teachers more since we hardly got any chance to see them shine in the event stories.

Even though this was quite a sad and dark story showing the ugly side of the idol industry, it was still pretty interesting to see things from another view since I do read up on idol industry, scandals and backstage stories in the past in kpop (though not all of them are true). Therefore, I’m glad that they decided to show a more realistic side of being an idol here since generally Ensemble Stars stories doesn’t talk much about the dark side of being an idol much as they’re still pretty much focus on showing the good side of idols and showing how idols enjoy singing and performing etc~

Jin looks really handsome in the past which is why I find it a shame that he has become lazy shagged ojisan who doesn’t shave ^^; Akiomi grew up to be even more handsome now, my heart fluttered when he was so nice to “me” in the story though~ And I definitely thinks he looks good in glasses +W+

After reading all 4 chapters, players would be able to receive these two cards in their card album. As the teachers have already retired, we can’t take them out, unfortunately. I didn’t have any spare jewels to bloom them so I guess they shall remain unbloomed in my album ^^; (I need my jewels to level up other cards Orz)

Oh, and Ensemble Stars are going to release an album/song of Jin and Akiomi in their younger days as idols, which I’m kind of looking forward to ^^ The preview sound really nice when I listened to it, just shame that it ended just when we’re getting to the good parts ><”

#ensemble stars #special story #akiomi #jin #summary #translation #otome game #es:special #es:translation

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